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But there's ways you can get better and you need to be humble enough to find them. And guess what? Julio goes first in every drill. The dudes, the, I mean he, at that, I've watched him. Works as hard as any human being I've seen in the football field. Always looking to get better. Matt Ryan the same. And look at the position the team's in now.
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But he has continually done that. He turned to Navy SEALs last summer, brought SEALs in to work with his team, to work with him on leadership, on accountability and all this combat, but leadership. And bring it into that locker room and create this cohesive unit that has had a tremendous turnaround from the 2015 season to now 2016. Now in the UFC Championship.
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No, in all honesty, uhm, you know, I had thought for a while that I wanted to be a team guy.
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Playing football and trying to be a CLI, it's extremely competitive. You know some of the guys who went into the teams.
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Physical specimens. Discipline, they're incredible. They train for four years and then go and do all these different screeners.
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Uh, and for me, not having spent four years in the pool was costly because when it came time for me to do this screener to go do mini buds, it was basically like a mini hell week for four straight days of the academy. It was tough and we broke the ice and the Chesapeake, all of that.
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You know, I trained for it for two weeks, right? I still had a shoulder problem and a hamstring problem from the season. I mean, it was just not gonna work. I was not gonna compete with these guys for it. Uhm, but ultimately what attracted me was the war in Iraq had started.
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Lot of my buddies were, were in the march up that I had played with that were, you know, graduated before me.
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I had talked to some folks that were in special operations and SEALs and they talked about it and it's a smaller team. So it's a little bit different, whereas in the Marine Corps.
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The leadership, you know, at a very young age, you're going to have 40-some Marines.
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You'll go on to be a company commander at this level. You're going to get a legitimate opportunity to command.
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That was really appealing to me. And I thought that that was probably the best opportunity for me because
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I wasn't, I did this when I went to Pleve summer because they run it. They run it, and I'll tell you, a lot of the people at the Naval Academy when I was there hated the Marines. Really? So many of them went there with a chip on their shoulder. This is the Naval Academy, there's no Marine Corps stuff in it, so when we get our opportunity we're really going to be jerks.
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And we had this great lieutenant colonel when I was a senior and we had all been selected to be Marines who told us, look guys, this is not the real Marine Corps.
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They're not representing us well. We've got a bad crop here right now that are, that are trying to prove a point.
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When you get to the basic school, you're going to find that it's massively different. And I loved it.
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I loved everything about it. I loved the diversity of my Marines. I mean, we talk about race. Race is a big deal. Racism in our country. It's a big topic. I mean, there's constantly battles on all the Hollywood news sites going on about race. Didn't exist when I was in the Marine Corps.
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And it was phenomenal. None of that stuff existed because we won together, we suffered together, and we look beyond all of it. It just doesn't matter in the military and it's so frustrating.
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To see it matter so much here in the regular world where people have all kinds of preconceived things and some people are out there acting like they're fighting on for the better of race relations in our country and they're making it worse because they've got their own personal agenda as they do it. It's just really frustrating.
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It was, psychologically that was the most challenging time period of my life.
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You've got someone challenging your character and your honor.
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Trying to say that you were something that you weren't. And I wouldn't allow it. There were easier ways to speed up the process than I refused. No way. I know what happened.
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And, and during that delay, it was a very, very dark period and it was difficult, but you have to, you have to slow life down sometimes, gain perspective and realize, Hey, look, this is going to take some time.
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Eventually I am going to get there, but what really it turned into...
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When the opportunity finally came to progress, using my time wisely
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The war wasn't gonna go away tomorrow. You know, sometimes you get this feeling in your mind like, oh man, my friends are out there dying, they're leaving, I need to be with them right now. Realizing, whoa, it's not gonna be gone tomorrow.
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So don't be so anxious. Don't waste the time you have now to get better.
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What can I do? I'm not going to let this stupid instance hold me back from improving from when I eventually do go on to lead Marines. And so I found a way to contribute value. I found a way to get better. It didn't happen right away. You know, there was a couple of weeks where, where it was dark, where I was angry.
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But I snapped out of it because there's times in life where life and your psychology, they want
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You wanna be the victim, right? You wanna feel like you've been wronged. And the problem is, is a lot of times when you go into that mode and you start playing the victim,
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You never crawl out of it. You get stuck in that world of the victim. You get stuck in this world that you think is all bad luck and everything's always going against you and you stop driving, you know, your own life.
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You gotta crawl out of that when, when, when you're, when your mind is telling you to play the victim and to feel bad for yourself, nothing positive comes from that. So nothing.
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Don't mess with Mama Stan. They were, they were at the right times. You would, you'd meet her not even, oh my goodness, she's such a pushover. Uhm, but there were times where she'd just, hey, you're gonna fight this. You understand me? You're gonna fight this. You're right.
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That's it. And you move forward and you owe, just like we all owe, the friends that you lose. There are many different ways that we could remember them, that we can memorialize them. Some people choose the wrong way in my opinion.
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Substance, alcohol, depression, you know, they choose more of a victim mindset way of remembering them. Others choose, hey, they're no longer here. Can't bring them back.
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What would they want me to be doing? What would make them proud?
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I take their life for granted if I use them as an excuse to be idle and fail.
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Right? But I memorialize them if I remember them, speak their name and talk about them as I move on and I succeed.
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And, and I still think about that. I think about Ronnie Winchester, who I played football with, who died in al Qaim, Iraq. I think about Brett Harmon, who was killed at an NC State football tailgater before he could even lead his platoon.
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Going into, to a Colonel named Joe Shusko, who is just this phenomenal guy, all about character. I mean, in his 60s could outrun all of us. I mean, the epitome of discipline. Discipline, discipline.
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And he brought me and I started working there and I got further introduced into martial arts and I loved it.
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I found, hey, this is what I should be doing in my free time. I should be hitting heavy bags. I should be training. I should be watching tape. I need to be, if I'm not reading military history and learning about my enemy, I'm doing this stuff. This, this is the type of stuff that's going to keep my mind sharp. And then I got intrigued. I wondered, okay, I'm going to lead Marines in combat.
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And a lot of these books that they were making us read on killing and some of these books that in my opinion are a little off on the psychology of battle. Agree. I mean, just brutal. You're gonna pee yourself before you get shot at. Actually, negative. I'm not going to pee myself at all.
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I wondered, alright, well, what can get me ready for that anxiety? I'm gonna sign up for a fight. I had this master gunnery sergeant who was a really good kickboxer who worked at this martial arts center of excellence named Master Guns. Will you train me for a fight? Can you get me, like, one of these, these martial arts fights out in town? Yeah, sir, I can get you one. Are you gonna show up? Yeah, of course I'm gonna show up. I don't know, sir, I get a lot of you officers that don't.
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So anyways, I convinced him to train me every morning at five in the morning. We're training. I had six weeks this fight and I don't know much, right? I've got, I've got a black belt in the Marine Corps of Martial Arts.
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And our fights come up in two fights. I'm like, man, this guy may not show up. So this is the perfect scenario for me. He doesn't show. He was scared. I go out with all my marine buddies in the crowd. I mean, there's 50 people at this fight and 15 of them are there to watch me and that makes it worse, right? And so, uh, he shows up.
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Anyways, we walk down this tarp, the fight starts, and this dude, he hits me with the worst spinning backfist you've ever seen. I mean, slow motion, off balance, my head's so big, anything you throw, it hits any damn way, but hits me with the spinning backfist, and I'm starting to get embarrassed, he's coming at me aggressive, and now is that decision point.
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Okay, I can mentally break now and kind of cover up and get out of here if this is a little uncomfortable for me.
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How, how will I deal with the anxiety of, of unprepared for battle? Hey, we're on patrol, you know, we get contact, what's our immediate action? Or we're going to have a major operation coming up in six days. I have to be able to think clearly on the battlefield.
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Direct, lead, play chess. And so I thought, man, that this fighting thing could be a key, it could be a help. And it certainly did not end up being that, but it ended up being my sanctuary through it all.
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It was, it was kind of what centered me. I brought tie pads to Iraq the first time. You know, I had one of, one of my sergeants was a pretty good martial arts. We would train in between missions. I would train my guys.
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He is the head coach at the Naval Academy wrestling team right now.
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And it was wild, you know, so Brett Harmon was a Marine Infantry Officer. He was in 3rd Battalion, 2nd Marines, which would be my eventual battalion.
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Went to an NC State football tailgater. There were some guys there drinking and driving and they almost hit a kid.
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And so they, him and his buddy from Chicago, civilian, ran out in front of the car and stopped him and they got in an argument. What are you guys doing? You know, you guys are drunk, shouldn't be driving. The guys get out, they started a scuffle, Brett and his buddy won.
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Came back a couple hours later and shot them both point blank. Shot Brett's buddy in the face and Brett went to get them to take the gun from him. He got shot in the chest and they died. And so...
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It was interesting because as we were writing this eulogy, you know,
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Me and Travis, we were so close and he was, he was a fantastic wrestler and one of the toughest human beings I've ever known. I mean, what we used to do to each other was ridiculous training. I mean, as long as it was standing, I would, I would just destroy him. As soon as he got sick of that and wanted to tackle me on the ground, I wasn't getting up anymore and he was destroying me, but it would just go back and forth for hours.
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And instead of playing video games, drinking beer, going out and hitting on girls, that's what me and Travis would do on a Friday and Saturday night.
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And it was really tough when you really start to think, what do you want to be said when it's all over for you? How do you want to be remembered?
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And, and I remember Travis, he really struggled with this.
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Struggled. I mean, it was, I mean, he was so loud talking about that, every else in the plane, it was weird. And part of it was because we were just struggling with the fact that
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You know, our friend is dead, you know, for such a weird circumstance. Yet we can understand if it was an IED or a sniper or something, not this.
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You know, several years later, it was wild, but uh, you know, Joel shared it when he would give Travis's eulogy. He brought that story up. Travis would get killed in Fallujah. And I remember driving up to Travis's funeral and
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You know, Travis is one of those guys that you just, you just never, he can't die.
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So I remember driving up to the funeral and I had my wife there with me and she was actually trying to make plans with her twin sister. Hey, we're gonna be in town. We live in North Carolina. Let's get together this weekend. But her twin sister's husband didn't want to get together. There was a part of me that didn't...
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Travis isn't dead, like I'm gonna get there and we're all gonna, we're gonna hang out tonight.
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And I remember when I walked into that wake and I actually saw him, I mean, it hit me like a ton of bricks. It was brutal. I loved, loved that guy so much. And we carried him the next day, but uh, you know, it's just, it's so crazy how connected it was because
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Ronnie Winchester died in al Qaim, Iraq. And...
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Three days later, Brett Harmon died at that NC State football game.
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We would go to Brett Harmon's funeral, write our own eulogies, which Joel shared, who would then end up giving Travis Mannion his actual eulogy, and I would carry Travis to his grave.
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I went to Al Qaeda in Iraq and actually replaced Rani's platoon and turned over with the replacement platoon commander who took over for him when he passed.
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While I was an infantry officer course, JP blacksmith was killed in Fallujah and
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I got this a little out of order, but when, when JP died, I found out right before I had my last amateur fight, I was an infantry officer course and I'm getting ready to fight in two hours for, for a title. Travis Manion was my corner man.
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And we're in the hotel room and he got a call and then he looked like he had seen a ghost. Like, Trav, what's wrong? He was nothing dude, I'll tell you after the fight.
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We had, you know, we had gotten bad. I was like, no, I know something's up. What the hell happened? And Travis told me, dude, JP Blacksmith got killed in Fallujah. So Travis tells me about JP's death. I turned over with JP's company, my second tour, because I met all of his old Marines, all of his own platoon commanders. I mean, it's just, it's such a small world.
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That we lived and breathed then, you know, and so in my little platoon commander's notebook, I had pictures of all of them and before every mission I would flip through and you just think, how do I make them proud?
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Before every fight, I would look at their pictures and look at the pictures of my Marines. How do I make them proud? How do I make them proud? And I still think about it to this day. And I end a lot of my speeches on this.
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They no longer have the chance to live. Who am I to take this life for granted? Because they would give anything to have one more day. Their families would give anything to have one more day.
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And I try to remind myself of that all the time. And you don't have to serve in the military to think like that. People will look at me, well that's extreme. Well, who have you lost in your life?
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What would make them proud? How do you truly memorialize them? It's certainly not through failure. It's not through being idle in life.
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You know, as you do that and you remember them, that makes them proud. That, that makes it, that makes it worth it. You know, it's very similar to that, that final scene in Saving Private Ryan where he's like, did I earn it?
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You know, and for those of us who served and were in those great circumstances or for those people, there's people that were in tragedies where they were in car accidents, they lost people. They think the same way. They think a lot the way they do, that we do when we look at life and taking things for granted, uhm, and achieving every day, adding value.
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It was, it was, and the thing that made it so difficult was there was another platoon assigned for that mission.
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We didn't get the opportunity to aerial reconnaissance. We didn't have the opportunity to look at overhead imagery of this terrain.
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We had nothing. I had 15 minutes. Hey, if they're not there in 15 minutes, you're a go. So in that 15 minutes, I'm briefing my guys. We're getting ready. We're now we're meeting this, this tank crew is from Boise, Idaho. We'd never even met them. I met them the day before. My guys had never worked with them before.
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So there was a lot of confusion that took place just in the route up.
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We are the most precise military in the history of this planet. So we not only have to identify where is the gunfire coming from.
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What caliber do I believe they're firing back or at us with? Cause that dictates what caliber I'm allowed to return fire with. Depending on where they're shooting at me from. Are they in a dug in position north of the river?
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Are they shooting at me from a building where there's civilians around? Are they shooting at me from a wadi, where now I can drop hellfires on them, I can hit them with tanks. That's a lot.
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Going through your head when you've got four vehicles, two tanks and aircraft you're trying to control as a 24 year old kid and everybody's waiting on you to say what's coming next. Just like in every vehicle, there's another kid in there directing everything they're doing.
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And, and, and that is, that is all part of it. That, that was our first, our first time. When Delatory, I don't put in the book, but what I said to him over the radio, I mean, I, I verbally almost killed him through the radio for doing it. That wild son of a bitch.
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Don't go in there guns a blazing right away because in, in that circumstance, the sound is actually one of your better indicators of where the gunfire is coming from. Cause when that heat is blazing, you're not going to see a muzzle flash. It just doesn't exist.
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The other thing is when you're, when you are keeping your vehicles mobile, that doesn't allow you to lock in on a T and E system with a heavy machine gun.
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So you've got to be smart in the increments that you move in and the formations you move in and make sure that your machine gunners have drilled that.
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So we would do, we would do T and E drills till my guys hands bled and not just the, the primer machine gunner, everybody in that truck. So if one goes down, the other comes up so that when we moved them, they can quickly get back on that same target. Cause basically what that became a game of is you suppress that position.
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With a 240 golf or a medium machine gun until I can talk the tanks on and then the tanks, they don't miss. It's all computer. It's like a video game. And we dug in positions, just aim a little bit lower and watch the shit fly. Excuse my language.
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That was one of the problems. When we went in and we started receiving some gunfire, everybody started shooting fire where we could identify with, but then all of a sudden we're getting shot at from other positions we can't really tell because of the acoustics until somebody actually hits us. Wait a minute, we're getting hit from back here too.
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And then some of the increments my, my drivers would move in, they moved so much that it was no longer a small adjustment on the T&E for that machine gunner. Now they've got to get out of the turret, exposing themselves to work that thing in.
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And because of collateral damage, you can't just work it in, send some rounds down rage. Oops, I hit the building 10 feet away. You're not allowed to do that. You've got to get that sucker into where you see it on the site and then you can start sending rounds down while that guy gets to shoot at you because you're so concerned with collateral damage. And so.
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