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ihe people are as cool and collected as if nobody were going out of town or as if a journey of a hundred odd miles were a mere nothing you enter a room ornamented with bills the greater part of the place behind a huge rough counter and fitted up with recesses that look the of the smaller animals in a travelling without the t a sketches by people are brown paper which one of the clerks into the recesses with an air ot which yon remembering the new carpet bag you bought in the morning feel annoyed at looking like so many keep rushing in and out with large on their shoulders and while you are waiting to make uie necessary inquiries you wonder what on earth the clerks can have been before they were office clerks one of them with his pen behind his ear and his hands him is standing in front of the fire like a full length portrait of napoleon the other with his hat half off his head enters the passengers names in the books with a coolness which is pro and the villain actually while a man asks him what the fare is outside all the to in frosty weather too they are clearly an isolated race evidently possessing no sympathies or feelings in common with the rest of mankind your turn at last and having paid the fare vou inquire what tune will it be necessary for me to be here in the morning six o clock replies the carelessly the sovereign you have just parted with into a wooden bowl on the desk rather before than adds the man with the semi with just as much ease and complacency as if the whole world got oi of bed at five you turn into the street as vou bend your steps on the extent to which men become in cruelty by custom if there be one thing in existence more miserable than another it most unquestionably is the being compelled to rise by candle light if you ever doubted the fact you are painfully convinced of your error on the morning of your departure you left orders to be called at half past four and you have done i nothing all night but for minutes at a time and start up suddenly from a terrific dream of a large church clock with the small hand running round with astonishing rapidity to every figure on the at last completely exhausted you fall into a refreshing your thoughts grow the stage which have going off before your eyes all night become less and less distinct until they go off altogether one moment you are driving with tiie skill and of an experienced whip the next you are exhibiting a la on the off leader anon vou are closely muffled up inside and have just recognised in the person of the guard an old whose even in your dream you remember to have attended eighteen years ago at hat you fall into a state of complete oblivion from which you are aroused as if into a new state of existence by a singular illusion you are to a trunk maker how or why or when or wherefore you don t take the trouble to inquire but there vou are the in the lid of a confound that other in the back shop how he is rap rap rap what an industrious fellow he must be you have heard at work for half an hour pas and he has been incessantly the whole time hap rap rap again he s talking now what s that he said i five o clock you make a violent exertion and start up in bed the vision is at once the s shop is your own bed room and the other your shivering servant who has been vainly to wake you for the list quarter of an hour at the risk of breaking either his own or the of the door you proceed to dress yourself with all possible despatch tlie candle with the long snuff gives light enough to show that the things yoa want are not where they ought to be and you a trifling delay in consequence of having carefully early packed up one of your boots in oyer anxiety of the preceding night yoa soon complete toilet however for you are not particular on an occasion and yon shaved y est e evening so mounting your great coat and green travelling shawl and grasping your carpet bag in your right hand you walk lightly down stairs lest you should awaken any of the family and after pausing in the common sitting for one moment just to have a cup of coffee the said common looking remarkably comfortable with every thing out of its place and with the of last night s supper you undo the chain and of the street door and find fairly in the street a by all that is miserable the is completely broken up you look down the long perspective of oxford street the gas lights reflected on the wet pavement and can discern no speck in the road to the belief that there is a or a coach to be had the very have gone home in despair the cold is down with that gentle regularity which a duration of four and twenty hours at least the damp hangs upon the and lamp posts and to you like an invisible the water is coming in in every area the pipes hare burst the water are running oyer the seem to be doing matches against time pump handles descend of their own accord horses in market carts fall down and there s no one to help them up again look as if they had been carefully sprinkled with powdered glass here and there a milk woman slowly along
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with a bit of round each foot to keep her from boys who sleep in the house and are not allowed much sleep out of it wake their masters by thundering at the shop door and cry with the cold the of ice snow and water on the pavement is a couple of inches thick nobody to walk fast to keep himself warm and nobody could no i succeed in keeping himself warm if he did it strikes a quarter past five as you down place on your way to the golden cross and you discover for the first time that you were called about an hour too early you have not time to go back there is no place open to go into and you have therefore no resource but to go forward which you do feeling remarkably satisfied with yourself and everything about you you arrive at the office and look wistfully up the yard for the high which for aught you can see may have flown away altogether for no preparations appear to be on foot for the departure of any vehicle in the shape of a coach you wander into the which with the gas lights and blazing fire looks quite comfortable by contrast that is to say if any place can look comfortable at half past five on a winter s morning there stands the identical book keeper in the same position as if he had not moved since yon saw him yesterday as he you that the coach is up the yard and will be brought round in about a quarter of an hour you leave your bag and repair to the tap not with any absurd idea of warming yourself because you feel such a result to be utterly hopeless but for the purpose of some hot water which you do when the kettle an event which occurs exactly two minutes and a half before the time fixed for the starting of the coach the first stroke of six from st martin s church just as vou take the first of the boiling liquid you find yourself at the office in two seconds and the tap waiter finds himself much comforted by your brandy and water in about the same period the coach is out the horses are in and the guard and two or three are the luggage away and running up the steps of uie office and down the steps of the office t a ea x r sketches by a few ago so still and quiet is now all bustle the of the morning have arrived and you are assailed on all rides with shouts of gen n here s ma am highly interesting murder gen m n case breach o promise ladies the passengers are in their and the with the of are pacing up and down tiie pavement to keep themselves warm they consist of two young men veiy long hair to tiie has the appearance of rats tails one thin young woman cold and one old gentleman and something in a cloak and intended to military officer every member of the party a large stiff shawl over his chin looking exactly as if he were playing a set of pan s pipes take off the bob sm the coachman who now appears for the first time in a rough blue of which the behind that you can t them both at the same now n cries the guard with the in his hand five behind time already up jump tiie the two young men like lime and the old gentleman grumbling audibly the thin young woman is got upon the roof by dint of a great deal of pulling ud pushing and helping and trouble aad she it by expressing her conviction that she will never be to get down again ail right sings out the guard st last jumping up as the coach and blowing his horn directly in proof of the of his wind let em go give em their cries the and off we start as briskly as if the morning were all right as well ss the and as anxiously to the of as we fear our will e done to of our paper v chapter xvi generally allowed that public e afford an extensive field and of that have since the days of the think that is the earliest on the present time commend along stage is not but there yoa have only and the chances are that people go all the way with e is no change no variety the first twelve or get cross and sleepy and i have seen a man in his ou lose all respect for him is the case with ns then roads people frequently get tell long stories and even don t may have very we once four hundred miles inside a b with a stout man who of rum and water warm the window at every place changed horses this was we have also with a small boy aspect with light hair and coming up to school under the protection d and directed to be left at e till called for this is ven worse than rum close atmosphere then b whole train of evils change of the coachman of the discovery guard is sure to make the m begin to that he paper parcel wliich he remembers to have the seat on which you are a great deal of bustle and es place and when you are awakened and severely y holding your legs up by exertion he is looking behind them it suddenly occurs to him that he put it in the fore boot bang goes the door the parcel is immediately found off starts the again and the guard plays the key aa loud as he can it as if m mockery of your wretchedness now you meet with none of these
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in an there can never be the passengers change as often in the course of one journey as the figures in a and though not so glittering are far more amusing we believe there is no instance on record of a man s having gone to sleep in one of these as to long stories would any man venture to tell a long story in an and even if he did where would be the harm t nobody could possibly hear what he was talking about again children though occasionally are not often to be found in an and even when they are if the vehicle be full as is generally the case somebody sits upon them and are unconscious of their presence yes after mature and considerable experience we ore decidedly of opinion that of all known from the glass coach in which we were taken to be to that sombre in which we must one day make our last earthly journey there is nothing like an we will back the machine in which we make our daily from the top of oxford street to the city against any on the road whether it be for the of its exterior the perfect simplicity of its interior or the native coolness of its this young gentleman is a singular instance of self devotion his somewhat seal on of his sketches by him into trouble and into the house of he is no sooner however than he the duties of his with his principal distinction is his his great boast is that he can an old gen n into the shut him in and off afore he knows where it b a going to a feat which he to the infinite amusement of every one but the old concerned who somehow or other never can see the joke of the thine we are not aware that it has ever been precisely ascertained how many passengers our will contain the impression on the s mind is that it is amply sufficient for the accommodation of any number of persons that can be into it any room cries a very hot plenty o room sir replies the conductor gradually opening the door and not the real state of the case until the wretched man is on the steps where the individual with an attempt to back out again either side sir the in and the door all right bill retreat is impossible the new comer rolls about till he falls down somewhere and there he stops as we get into the city a ten four or five of our party are regular passengers we always take them up at the same places and they generally occupy the same seats they are always dressed in the same manner and invariably discuss the same topics the rapidity of and the disregard of moral obligations evinced by men there is a old man with a powdered head who always sits on ttie side of the door as you enter with his hands folded on the top of his he is extremely and sits there for the purpose of keeping a sharp eye on the with whom he generally holds a running he is very in helping people in and and to give the a his umbrella when any one wai alight he usually to have sixpence ready to pr delay and if any body puts a wi down that he can reach he im puts it up again now what are you stopping says the old man every mo the moment there is the slightest of pulling up at the c of street when some dialogue as the following takes between him and the what are you stopping for here the and i not to hear the question i say a what are stopping for for passengers sir ty i know you re stopping foi but you ve no business so why are you stopping sir that s a i think it is because we here to going on now mind the old man with great vehemence pull you up to morrow i ve threatened to do it now i will replies thi touching his hat with a mock e sion of gratitude obliged to you indeed sir he young men in the heartily and th old very red in the face and seems exasperated the stout gentleman in the at the other end vehicle looks very prophetic ax that something must shortly b with these fellows or there s n ing where all this will end ai d genteel man with uie bag expresses his entire in the opinion as he has done re every morning for the last six n a second now con and stops immediately another old cane in the air and runs with might towards our no s ess with great door is opened to him he he has been spirited away by the opposition the driver of the opposition our people with his having regularly done em out of that old swell and the voice of the old swell is heard vainly protesting against this we rattle off the other after and every time we stop to take up a passenger they stop to take him too sometimes we get him sometimes they get him but whoever don t set him say they ought to have had hun and the of the respective abuse one another v as we arrive m the vicinity of fields row and other legal haunts we drop a great many of our original passengers and take up fresh ones who meet with a very reception it is rather remarkable that the people already in an always look at as if they entertained some idea that they have no to come in at all we are quite persuaded the old man has some notion of this kind and that he considers their entry as a sort of negative impertinence conversation is now
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entirely dropped each person through the window in front of and everybody thinks that his opposite neighbour is staring at him if one man gets out at shoe lane and another at the comer of street the old and suggests to the latter that if he had out at shoe lane too he would have saved them the delay of another whereupon the men laugh again and the old looks very and says nothing more till he gets to the bank when he off as fast as he can leaving us to do the same and to as we walk away that we could impart to others any portion of the amusement we have gained for ourselves sketches by chapter xvii the last thb of all the whom we ever had the honour and of knowing hj sight and our in this way been most extensive there is one who made an on our mind which can never be and who awakened in bosom a of admiration and which we entertain fatal wiu never be called forth again by any human being he was a man of most simple and appearance he was brown white no his nose was generally red and his blue eye not stood out in bold relief against a black b der of artificial his boots were of the form pulled up to meet his or at least to approach as near them as their dimensions would admit of and his neck was usually a bright yellow handkerchief in summer he carried in his mouth a flower in winter a straw slight but to a mind certain indications of a love of nature and a taste for his was painted a bright red and wherever we went city or west end or north east west or south there was the red cab up against the posts at the street comers and turning in and out among and and carts and and and by some strange means or other to get out of places which no other vehicle but the red cab could ever by any possibility have contrived to get into at all our fondness for that red cab was unbounded how we should have liked to see it in the circle at s our life upon it that it should have as would have pat the whole company to indian chiefs and all some people to the of getting into and others object to tiie difficulty of getting out of them we think both these are objections which take their rise in perverse and ill minds the getting into a is a very i and process which when well performed is essentially first there is the expressive of every one of the eighteen on the stand the moment you raise your eyes from the ground then there is your own in little four leave the stand for your especial accommodation and the of the animals who draw them are beautiful in the extreme as they grate the wheels of the against the and sport in the p u single out a particular cab and dart swiftly towards it one bound and you are on the first step turn your body lightly round to tlie right and you are on the second bend gracefully beneath the reins working round to the left at the same time and you are in the cab there is no difficulty in finding a seat the apron you comfortably into it at once and off you go the getting out of a cab is perhaps more complicated in its and a shade more difficult in its execution we have studied uie subject a great deal and we think the best way is to throw yourself out and trust to chance for on your feet if you make the driver alight first and then yourself upon him you will find that he breaks your fall materially in the event of your contemplating an offer of on no account make the tender or show the money until you are safely on the pavement it is the last cab to the y m are in the power of a and he considers u a of fee not to do jou any any however in hie art of getting oat of a cab is wholly if yoa are going any the is that yon will be shot lightly before you completed the third mile we are not aware of any in which a cab horse has miles down once what of it is all excitement and in days of of the ner and people content to pay handsomely where can it be at a cheaper rate t bat to return to the red cab it was yoa had bnt to walk down or fleet street or any of the principal m which is a great deal of traffic and for you bad hardly turned into the street when yoa saw a or lying on the ground an post a hat box a and a carpet bag about in a very manner a in a cab standing by looking about him with great and a crowd shouting and screaming with their flashed against the glass windows of a shop what s the matter hare you tell me t o iy a cab air anybody hurt do you t the sir i see him a the comer and i to another b a that and he s a along sweet ant he t he just is see the other gen n ven the post and out flies the like bricks we say it was the red cab or that the with the straw in his who emerged so coolly from the s shop and into the little started off at full gallop was the red cab s driver i the of this red cab and te i n fl ue it exercised
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over the of wm astonishing yon walked into the room of the mansion house the whole court merriment the lord threw himself in his chair in of frantic delight at his own joke every vein in mr s countenance was with laughter partly at tiie lord mayor but more at his own he and were aa in duty bound in at mr and the lord mayor and the very glancing respectfully at the s countenance tried to smile as even he relaxed a tall man with an in his speech would be end to state a case of against the red cab s driver and the red cab s driver and the lord mayor and mr would be having a little among to the delight of everybody but the in the end justice would be so with the red driver s native humour that the fine would be and he would go gallop in the red cab to impose on else without loss of the driver of the red cab confident in the strength of his own moral like many other philosophers was wont to set the and opinions of society at complete defiance generally speaking perhaps he would as soon carry a fare to his destination as he would upset sooner perhaps because in that case he not only got the money but had tiie additional amusement of running a longer heat against some smart rival but society made war upon him in the shape of and he must war upon society in his own way this was the reasoning of the red cab driver so he bestowed a searching look upon the five as he put his hand in his waistcoat pocket when he had gone half the mile to get the money ready and if he brought forth out he went the time we saw our friend was one wet evening in when be a b sketches by somewhat personal altered tion with a little gentleman in a green coat poor fellow there were great excuses to be made for him he had not received above more than his fare and consequently under a great deal of yery natural indignation the dispute had attained a pretty considerable height when at last the little gentleman making a mental calculation of the distance and finding that he had already paid more than he ought his determination to pull up the in the morning now just mark this young man said the little gentleman i ll pull you up to morrow morning no will you though said our friend with a sneer i will replied the little gentleman mark my words that s all if i till to morrow morning you shall repent thi there was a of purpose and indignation of speech about the little gentleman as he took an angry pinch of snuff after this last which made a visible impression on the mind of the red cab he appeared to hesitate for an instant it was only for an instant his resolve was soon taken you pull me up will you said our friend i will rejoined the little gentleman with even greater vehemence than before very well said our friend up his shirt sleeves very calmly there be three for that good that bring me up to the middle o next month three more would carry me on to my birthday and then i ve ten pound to draw i may as get board and till then out of the county as pay for it myself consequently here goes so without more the red knocked the gentleman down and then called the police to take himself into all the in the world a story is nothing without the and therefore we may that to our certain the board lodging and washing were all provided in due course we to know the fact for it came to oar knowledge thus we went over the house of for the county of after to witness the operation of the silent system and looked on all the wheels with the greatest anxiety in search of our friend he was nowhere to be seen however and we began to think that the in the coat must have when as we were the kitchen garden which lies in a part of the prison we were startled by a voice which proceeded from the wall pouring forth its soul in the plaintive air of all round my hat which was then just beginning to form a recognised portion of our national music we started what voice is that f said we the shook his head sad he very sad he positively refused to on the wheel so many trials i was compelled to order him into solitary confinement he he likes it yery much though and i am afraid he does for he lies on his back on the floor and sings comic songs all day shall we add that our heart had not deceived us and that the singer was no than our friend the red cab driver i we have never seen him since but we have strong reason to suspect that this noble individual was a distant relative of a of our acquaintance who on one occasion when we were passing the coach stand over which he after standing very to see a tall man struggle into a cab ran up very briskly when it was all over as his brethren invariably do and touching his hat asked as a matter of course for a copper for the now the fare by no means a handsome man and the first very at the demand he replied money what for coming up and looking at me i sir rejoined the with a smile of that s worth this identical afterwards a very prominent station in society and as we know something of his life and have often thought of telling what we do know perhaps
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we never have a better opportunity than the present mr william then for that s name mr william was bom but why need we relate where mr william was bom or when i why the in or seek to penetrate the mysteries of lying in mr william bom or he had never been there is a on there was a father there is an effect there was a cause surely this is sufficient information for the most like curiosity and if it be not we regret our inability to supply any further evidence on the point there be a more satisfactory or man strictly course we at once a similar inability to record at what precise period or by what particular process this gentleman s of william became into bill mr acquired a high standing and no reputation the members of that profession to which he more peculiarly devoted his energies and to them he was generally known either by the familiar of bill or the flattering of bill the latter being a playful and expressive of mr s great talent in and rendering wild such subjects of her majesty as are conveyed from place to place through the of of the early life of mr little is known and even that little is involved in doubt and obscurity a want of application a restlessness of purpose a after porter a love of all that is and in nature shared in with many other appear to have been his characteristics the busy hum of a and the shady repose of a county were alike in producing the slightest alteration in mr s disposition his fever attachment to change and variety nothing could repress his native daring no punishment could subdue if mr can be fairly said to have had any weakness in his earlier j it was an amiable one love in its most comprehensive form a love of ladies and it was no selfish feeling it was not confined to his own possessions which but too many regard with exclusive complacency no it was a nobler love a principle it extended with equal force to the property of other people there is something very affecting in this it is still more i to know that such is but rewarded bow street and are a poor return for general benevolence itself in an irrepressible love for all created objects mr felt it so after a lengthened interview with the highest le authorities he quitted his country with the consent and at the expense of its government proceeded to a distant shore and there employed himself like another in clearing and the soil a pursuit in which a term of seven years glided almost away whether at the of the period we have just mentioned the british government required mr s presence here or did not require his residence abroad we have no distinct means of we should be inclined however to favour the m ox t v sketch bt we do not find that he io any other poet en his the poet at the of the where he to seated in this on a e of near the a and number suspended his neck by a chain and his ankles enveloped in he is supposed to have made on human nature which so material an over all proceedings in later life mr had not for many months in capacity when the i of the first the to go in anew and a great many from going in any direction at all the genius of mr at the whole extent of the injury that would be eventually on cab and coach stands and by consequence on also hj the progress ot the of which the first was a part he saw too the necessity of some more profession and hie active mind at once perceived how much might be done in the way of the and and the old and helpless into the wrong and carrying them off until to despair they by e payment of sixpence a head or to adopt his own e re ss ion in all its native beauty till th was over and out the an his soon presented itself were on the coach stands that a was building to run from grove to tiie bank down oxford street and and the rapid increase of on the road encouraged the idea mr and cautiously inquired in the proper the report was the william was to it on tiie monday it was a an young of established reputation as a dashing for he had with the parents of children and just worked out his fine for knocking down an old lady was the driver and the spirited proprietor knowing mr s q appointed to the vacant office of on the very first application the began to run and mr entered into a new suit of and on a new sphere of action to all tiie introduced by this into the system gradual indeed but surely would a far greater space than we are enabled to devote to this imperfect to him is universally assigned the original suggestion of the which became so of the driver of a second keeping constantly behind the first one and driving the pole of his into the door of the other every time it was opened or through the body of any lady or gentleman who make an attempt to get into it humorous and pleasant n n exhibiting all that originality of and fine bold flow of spirits so in every action of this great mr of what man in public life has not t even his worst enemies cannot de y that he has taken more old ladies and gentlemen to who te i to go to the bank and more old ladies and gentlemen to tiie bank who wanted to go to than any men on the road
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ai however much spirits may pretend to the accuracy of the statement thej well know it to be an established ht l that he has forcibly a variety of ancient persons of either sex to both places who had not the slightest or most distant intention of any where at all was the identical i who himself some the first bj keeping a p the going at full he time till he had is entire and x wing him away when he done with him mr have been who honestly it being use of public entertainment b landlord in the knee and his death we say it ire been mr was not a common one and from no ordinary become matter of history led in the we this a ing heroism to mr t being compelled to state as not performed by him r the family we could it was by his in the exercise of the lis profession that mr ledge of human nature was displayed he could tell b where a pas se wanted and would the le place accordingly without est reference to the real of he knew kind of old lady that would ch by the process of and out of the to discover had until too hue had an perception of what was passing in a passenger s mind when he inwardly resolved to pull that up to morrow morning and never failed to make himself agreeable to female servants whom he would place next the door and talk to all the way human judgment is never and it would occasionally happen that mr with the timidity or forbearance of the wrong person in which case a summons to a police office was on more than one occasion followed by a to prison it was not in the power of trifles such as these to subdue the freedom of his spirit as soon as they passed away he resumed the duties of his profession with we have spoken of mr and of the red cab driver in the past tense alas mr has again become an and the class of men to which they both belonged are fast disappearing improvement has peered beneath the of our and penetrated to the very recesses of our dirt and will vanish before cleanliness and livery will be forgotten when civility becomes general and that enlightened eloquent sage and profound body the of will be deprived of half their amusement and half their sketches by c chapter xviii r we hope our readers will not be alarmed at this ominous title we assure them that we are not about to become political neither have we the slightest intention of being more than usual if we can help it it has occurred to us that a slight sketch of the general aspect of ie house and uie crowds that resort to it on the night of an important debate would be productive of some amusement and as we have made some few at the house in our time have visited it quite often enough for our purpose and a great deal too often for our own personal peace and comfort we have determined to attempt the description from our minds fore all that feeling of awe which vague ideas of of privilege arms heavy and still heavier are calculated to awaken we enter at once into the building and upon our subject half past four o clock and at five the of the address will be on his legs as the newspapers announce sometimes by way of novelty as if were occasionally in the habit of standing on their heads the members are pouring in one after the other in the few spectators who can obtain standing room in the passages them as they pass with the utmost interest and the man who can identify a member occasionally becomes a person of great importance every now and then you hear earnest whispers of that s sir john which him with the order round his neck no no that s one of the messengers that with the yellow gloves is sir john here s mr smith lor j yes how d ye do sir he ie oar new member how do you do sir mr smith stops turns round th an air of for the rumour of an intended dissolution has been very this morning both the hands of his gratified and after greeting him with the most enthusiastic warmth into the with an extraordinary display of in the public cause leaving an impression in his favour on the mind of his fellow the increase in number and the heat and noise increase in veiy unpleasant proportion the livery servants form a complete lane on side of the passage and yon reduce yourself into the smallest possible space to avoid being turned out you see that stout man with the hoarse voice in the blue coat queer crowned broad hat white breeches and great boots who has been talking for half an hour past and whose importance has occasioned no small quantity of among the strangers that is the great of the peace ol westminster you cannot fail to have remarked the grace with which he saluted the noble lord who passed just now or the excessive dignity of his air as he with the crowd he is out of temper now in consequence of the very behaviour of those two young fellows behind him who have done nothing but laugh all the time they have been here will divide to night do yoa think mr timidly a thin man in the crowd hoping to the man of office how com you ask such questions mr replies the in an loud key and grasping the thick stick he carries in right hand pray do not air a sketch i beg of yon pray do not ar the
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little man looks remarkably out of his element and the part of the throng are in positive of laughter just at this moment some unfortunate individual appears with a very air at the bottom of the lone passage he has managed to the vigilance of the down stairs and is evidently himself on having made his way so far go back sir you must not come shouts the hoarse one with tremendous emphasis of voice and gesture the moment the catches his eye the stranger pauses do you hear sir will you go back continues uie official gently pushing the intruder some half dozen yards come don t push me replies the stranger turning angrily round i will sir you won t sir go out sir take your hands off me sir go out off the passage sir you re a jack in sir a what he of the boots a jack in office sir and a very insolent fellow the stranger now completely in a passion pray do not force me to put you cut sir the other pray do not my instructions are to keep this passage it s the speaker orders sir d n the speaker sir shouts the intruder here the officer actually at this insulting expression which in his mind is all but high treason take man out take him out i say how dare you sur i and down goes the unfortunate man five stairs at a time turning round at every to come back again and bitter vengeance the commander in chief and all his make way gentlemen pray make way for the members i beg of you i shouts the zealous officer turning back and preceding a whole string of the liberal and independent you see this ferocious looking gentleman with a complexion almost as sallow as his linen and whose large black moustache would give him the appearance of a figure in a s window if his countenance possessed the thought which is communicated to those of the human face divine he is a officer and the most amusing person in the house can anything be more exquisitely absurd than the grandeur of his air as he strides up to the his eyes rolling like those of a s bead in a cheap dutch clock he never appears without that bundle of dirty papers which he carries under his left arm and which are generally supposed to be the miscellaneous for or some equally important documents he is very punctual in his attendance at the house and his he ar he ar is not the signal for a general this is the gentleman who once actually sent a messenger up to the strangers gallery in the old house of to inquire the name of an individual who was using an eye glass in order that he might complain to the speaker that the person in question was him on another occasion he is reported to have repaired to s kitchen a where persons who are not members are admitted on as it were and perceiving two or three gentlemen at supper who he was aware were not members and could not in that place very well resent his behaviour he indulged in the of sitting with his leg on the table at which they were he is generally harmless and always amusing by dint of patience and some little i interest li ia a q i a sketches by we contrived to make our way to the and you can to catch an occasional of the house as the door is opened for the admission of members it is tolerably full already and little groups of members are together here the interesting topics of the day that smart looking fellow in the black coat with velvet and who wears his d hat so is honest tom a representative and the large man in the cloak with the white not the man by the pillar the other with the light hair over his coat collar behind is his the quiet gentlemanly looking man in the blue gray trousers white and gloves whose coat his manly figure and broad to great advantage is a very well known he has fought a great many battles in his time and conquered like the heroes of old with no other arms than these the gods gave him the old hard man who is standing near him is really a good specimen of a class of men now nearly extinct he is a member and has been from time whereof the memory of man is not to the contrary look at his loose wide brown coat with pockets on each side the and boots the immensely long waistcoat and silver chain dangling below it the wide brown hat and the white handkerchief tied in a great bow with straggling ends sticking out beyond his shirt it is a costume one seldom sees and when tlie few who wear it have died oft it will be quite extinct he can tell you long stories of fox and and how much better the house was managed in those times when they used to get up at eight or nine o clock except on r days of which every body was beforehand he has a great contempt for all young members oi parliament and thinks it quite a can say any worth hearing in house for fifteen years at least without saying anything at all he is oi opinion that that young was a regular he that lord may do something one of these days but he s too young sir too young he is an authority on points of precedent and when he grows after his wine will tell you how sir somebody something when he was for the government brought four out of their beds to vote in the
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majority three of whom died on their way home again how the once divided on the question that fresh candles be now brought in how the speaker was once upon a time left in the chair by accident at the conclusion of business and was obliged to sit in the house by himself for three hours till some member could be knocked up and brought back again to move the and a great many other anecdotes of a similar description there he stands leaning on his stick looking at the throng of around him with most profound contempt and up before his mind the scenes he beheld in the old house in days gone by when his own feelings were and brighter and when as he wit talent and more brightly too you are curious to know who that young man in the rough who has every member who has entered the house since we have been standing here he is not a he is only an hereditary or in other words an irish correspondent of an irish newspaper who has just procured his forty frank from a member whom he saw in his life before there he goes again another bless the man he hm his hat and pockets foil already we will try our fortune aft the strangers gallery though the nature of the debate very little ho of what on earth are a t holding your order as if it were a at the would fly open just ra order for an if it lie ke ai ally mid your appearance at the door with your thumb and inserted in your this man in is the door keeper any t not an inch two or three gentlemen waiting down on the of somebody s going oat out your purse are yon sure there s no go and look replies the with a at your but i m afraid there s not he returns and real feeling you that it is morally to get near the it is of no waiting when you are i into the gallery at the of under such you may l e home thoroughly satisfied that the must be remarkably full indeed our steps the long passage descending the stairs and crossing palace yard we halt at a small temporary door way adjoining the king s entrance to the house of lords the order of the will admit you into the gallery from whence you can obtain a tolerably good view of the house take care of the stairs ihey are none of the this little there as soon as your eyes become a little used to the mist of the and the glare of the below you you will see that some unimportant personage on the side of the house to your right hand is speaking amidst a hum of and confusion would rival but for the circumstance of its being all in one language the hear hear which occasioned that laugh proceeded from our war this was written before the practice of members of like for of half uke friend with the he m sitting on the seat against the wall behind the member is looking as and as take one look around and retire the body of the house the side galleries are full of members with their on the of the opposite seat some with theirs out to their utmost length on the floor some going oat others coming in all o ing questioning or groaning presenting a of noise and to be met with in no other in existence not en a market day er m in its glory but let us not omit to s kitchen or in either words the refreshment room common to both of parliament where and and and strangers from the gallery and the mere from the are alike at liberty to resort members prove their perfect independence by remaining during the whole of a heavy debate themselves with the creature arts and they are summoned hy in when the is en the point of dividing either to give their on questions of they are innocent of knowing anything or to find a vent for the playful of their wine inspired in boisterous shouts of divide occasionally varied with a little howling barking or other of when you the narrow s as e in the present temporary house of leads to the we are describing you will probably observe a of rooms on your right hand with tables spread for dining neither of these is the kitchen although they are both devoted to the same purpose the kitchen ti on tn u x sketches by half dozen stairs before we ascend the staircase we must request you to pause in front of this little with the windows and beg your particular attention to the steady honest looking old fellow in black who is its sole we do not mind mentioning the old s name for if be not a public man who is and public men s names are public property is the butler of s and has held the same place ed exactly in the manner and said precisely the same things ever since the oldest of its present can remember an servant is an of dressing an admirable of water and a special of cold and punch and above all an judge of cheese if the old man have such a thing as vanity in his composition this is certainly his pride and if it be possible to imagine that any thing in this world could disturb his impenetrable calmness we should say it would be the doubting his judgment on this important point we needn t tell you all this however for if you have an of observation one glance at his sleek knowing looking head and face his white with the wooden tie into which
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it has been regularly folded for twenty years past by degrees into a shirt and his comfortable looking form in a well suit of black would give you a better idea of his real character than a column of our poor description convey is rather out of his element now he cannot see the kitchen as he used to in the old there one window of his glass case opened into the room and then for the and of more he would stand for an hour together answering questions about and and h and heaven knows who with b a before every s name like all men of his age and standing has a great idea of the of the times he seldom expresses any political opinions bat we managed to ascertain just before the passing of the reform bill that was a thorough what was our astonishment to discover shortly after the meeting of the first parliament that he was a most and decided tory it was very odd some men change their opinions from necessity others from others from inspiration but that should undergo any change in any respect was an event we had never contemplated and should have considered strong opinion against uie which the districts to return members to parliament too was perfectly unaccountable we discovered the secret at last the members always dined at home the as for giving additional members to ire land it was even decidedly why mr an irish member would go up there and more dinner than three english members put together he took no wine drank table beer by the and went home to buildings or street for his and water and what was the consequence why the concern actually lost sir by his patronage a queer old fellow is and as completely a part of the building is the house itself we wonder he ever left the old place and fully expected to see in the papers the morning after the fire a account of an old gentleman in black of decent ance who was seen at one of the upper windows when the flames were at their height and declared his resolute intention of falling with the floor he have been got out by force he was got out here he is again as he always does as if he had been in a ever since the last he is at his old post a sketch f u we have described him and as characters are and long may he be there say we now when have taken seat in the kitchen and noticed the large fire and at one end of the room the little table for washing glasses and at the other the clock over the window opposite st margaret s church the deal tables and wax candles the table and bare floor the plate and china on the tables and the on the fire and a few peculiar to the place we will point out to your notice two or three of the people present whose station or render them the most worthy of remark it is half past o clock and as the is not expected for an hour or two a few members are lounging away the time here in preference to standing at the bar of the house or sleeping in one of the side galleries that awkward and man in the white hat with the straggling black trousers which reach about way down the leg of his boots who is leaning against the meat screen apparently himself into the belief that he is thinking about something is a splendid of a member of the house of in his own person the wisdom of a the wig of a dark hue but indescribable colour for if it be naturally brown it has acquired a black tint by long service and if it be naturally black the same cause has imparted to it a tinge of rusty brown and remark how very materially the great like spectacles assist the expression of that most intelligent face seriously speaking did you ever see a countenance so expressive of the most hopeless extreme of heavy or behold a form so strangely put together he is no great but when he does the house the effect is irresistible the small gentleman with the sharp nose who has just saluted him is a member of parliament an ex and a sort of amateur he and the celebrated s dog were observed to be remarkably active at the of the two houses of parliament they both ran up and down and in and out getting under people s feet and into ever body s way fully impressed with the belief that they were doing a great deal of good and barking the dog went quietly back to his with the engine but the gentleman kept up such an incessant noise for some weeks after the occurrence that he became a positive nuisance as no more fires have occurred however and as be has had no more opportunities of writing to the newspapers to relate how by way of preserving pictures he cut them out of their frames and per other great national services he has gradually into his old state of calmness that female in black not the one whom the lord s day bill has just under the chin the shorter of the two is jane the of s jane is as great a character as in her way her leading features are a thorough contempt for the great majority of her visitors her quality love of admiration as you cannot to observe if you mark the glee with which she to something the young member near her somewhat in her ear for his speech is rather thick from some cause or other and how she the handle of a fork into the
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arm with which he her by way of reply jane is no bad hand at and showers them about with a degree of liberality and total absence of reserve or which occasionally no small amazement in the minds of strangers she cuts jokes with too but looks up to him with a great deal of respect the with receives the jokes and looks od at x i si sl h sketches by jane s only and they are very innocent too which take place in the passage is not the least amusing part of his character the two persons who are seated at the table in the comer at the farther end of the room have been constant guests here for many years past and one of them has within these walls many a time with the most brilliant characters of a brilliant period he has gone up to the other house since then the greater part of his boon companions have shared s fate and his to s are few if he really be eating his supper now at what hour can he possibly have dined a second solid mass of has disappeared and he eat the first in four minutes and three quarters by the clock over the window was there ever such a of mark the air with which he over that as he the which has been placed beneath his chin to catch the superfluous of the and with what he the porter which has been fetched expressly for him in the pot listen to the hoarse sound of that voice kept down as it is by of and deep draughts of rich wine and tell us if you ever saw such a perfect picture of a regular and whether he is not exactly the man whom you would pitch upon as having been the partner of s the driver of the that took him home and the involuntary of the whole party what an amusing contrast between his voice and appearance and that of the spare old man who sits at the same table and who a little cracked sort of voice to its highest pitch upon his own eyes or somebody else s at the commencement of every he the as they call him is a very old of s much to stopping after the house is up an crime in jane s eyes and a complete walking of spirits and water the old or rather the old man for his is of comparatively recent date has a huge of hot punch brought him and the other and drinks and drinks and and members arrive every moment in a great bustle to re port that the of the s up and to get glasses of brandy and water to sustain them during the division people who have ordered supper it and prepare to go down stairs when suddenly a bell is heard to ring with tremendous violence and a cry of sion is heard in the passage is enough away rush the the room is cleared in an the noise rapidly dies away you hear the ci of the last boot on the last stair and are left with the of public dinners chapter xix public all public dinners in london from the lord mayor s annual banquet at to the chimney at white house from the to the from the to the are amusing scenes of all of this description however we think the annual dinner oi some public charity is the most amusing at a company s dinner the people are nearly all alike regular old who make it a matter of and a thing not to be laughed at at a political dinner every body ia disagreeable and inclined to much the same thing by the by but at a charity dinner you see people of all sorts kinds and descriptions the wine may not be remarkably special to be sure and we have heard some hard hearted monsters at the collection but we really think the amusement to be derived from the occasion sufficient to even these let us suppose you are induced to attend a dinner of this description friends benevolent institution we think it is the name of the charity u a line or two longer but never mind the rest you have a distinct recollection however that you purchased a ticket at the of some charitable friend and you deposit yourself in a the driver of which no doubt that you may do the thing in style turns a deaf ear to your earnest entreaties to be set down at the comer of great queen street and in carrying you to the very door of the round which a crowd of people are assembled to the entrance of the friends you great speculations as you pay the fare on the possibility of your being the noble lord who ia announced to fill the chair on the occasion and are highly gratified to hear it eventually decided that you are only a the first thing that strikes you on your entrance is the astonishing importance of the you observe a door on the first landing carefully guarded by two iu and out of which stout gentlemen with very red faces keep running with a degree of speed highly the gravity of persons of their years and you pause quite alarmed at the bustle and thinking in your innocence that two or three people must have been carried out of the dining room in fits at least you are by the waiter up stairs if you please sir this is the room up stairs you go accordingly wondering as you mount what the duties of the committee can be and whether they ever do anything beyond each other and running over the having deposited your hat and cloak and received a remarkably small scrap of in exchange which as
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a matter of course you lose before you require it again you enter the hall down which there are three long tables for the less distinguished guests with a cross table on a raised platform at the upper end for the reception of the very particular friends of the being fortunate enough to find a plate without anybody s card in it you wisely seat yourself at once and have a little leisure to look about you with wine baskets in their hands are placing of down the tables at very respectable distances melancholy looking and decayed which might have belong to the parents ol t iq md ix q t sketches by their time are scattered at distant intervals on the cloth and tlie knives and forks look as if they had done duty at every public dinner in london since the accession of george the first the are and grating and playing no notes but notes of preparation and several gentlemen are gliding along the sides of the tables looking into plate after plate with frantic eagerness the expression of their countenances growing more and more dismal as they meet with everybody s card but their own you turn round to take a look at the table behind you and not being in the habit of attending public dinners are somewhat struck by the appearance of the party on which your eyes rest one of its principal members appears to be a little man with a long and rather face and hair brushed bolt upright in front wears a of black silk round his neck without any as an apology for a and is addressed by his companions by the familiar of or some such near him is a stout man in a white and waistcoat with shining dark hair cut very short in front and a great round healthy looking face on which he preserves a next him again is a large headed man with black hair and whiskers and opposite them are two or three others one of whom is a little round faced person in a ck and blue under waistcoat there is something peculiar in their air and manner though you could hardly describe what it is you cannot yourself of the idea that they have come for some other purpose than mere eating and drinking you have no time to debate the matter however for the who have been arranged in lines down the room placing the dishes on table retire to the lower end the dark in tlie blue coat and bright buttons who has the direction of the music looks up to the gallery and calls out band m a very loud voice outburst the up rise the in march fourteen each with a long in his band like the evil genius in a then the then the they all make their way up the room as fast as they can bowing and smiling and and looking remarkably amiable the applause ceases grace is said the clatter of plates and dishes begins and every one appears highly gratified either with the presence of the or the commencement of the anxiously expected dinner as to the dinner itself the men dinner it goes off much the same everywhere of soup emptied with awful rapidity take plates of away to get and bring back plates of without people who can poultry are great if they own it and people who can t have no wish to learn the and forks form a pleasing accompaniment to s music and t music would form a pleasing accompaniment to the dinner if you could hear anything besides the the disappear b of vanish like lightning wipe their rather overcome with their recent exertions people who have looked cross hitherto become remarkably bland and ask you to take wine in the most friendly manner om gentlemen direct your attention to tbe ladies gallery and take great pains to impress you with the fact that the charity is always peculiarly favoured in this every one appears posed to become and of conversation is loud and general pray silence gentlemen if please for non shouts tke toast master with toast master s shirt front waistcoat and by the by always exhibit three distinct shades of pray silence gentlemen for non p the singers whom discover to be no other than the i ti your at nt public dinners their b n too most on the old burst into occasional cries of sh sh silence stand still keep back and other delivered in a tone of indignant remonstrance the grace is soon concluded and the company their seats the portion of the guests non as as if it were a capital comic song greatly to the scandal and indignation of the regular who immediately attempt to this approbation by cries of hush hush whereupon the others these sounds for more before and by way of placing their approval beyond the possibility of doubt shout most the moment the noise ceases up starts the toast master gentlemen your glasses if you please i having been handed about and glasses fill the toast master proceeds in a regular ascending scale gentlemen air you all charged f pray silence gentlemen for the i r the rises and after stating that he feels it quite unnecessary to preface the toast he is about to propose with any observations whatever into a of sentences and about in the most extraordinary man ner presenting a lamentable spectacle of humanity until he arrives at uie words constitutional sovereign of these at which elderly gentlemen exclaim and the table with knife handles under any circumstances it would give him the greatest pride it would give him the greatest pleasure he might almost say it would
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afford him satisfaction f cheers to propose that toast what must be his feelings then when he has the gratification of announcing that he has received her majesty s commands to apply to the of her majesty s household for her majesty s annual of in aid of the funds of this charity t tliis announcement which has been r made by every since the first foundation of the forty two years ago calls forth the most applause the toast is drunk with a great deal of cheering and knocking and god save the queen is sung by the professional gentlemen the gentlemen joining in the and giving the national an effect which the newspapers with great justice describe as perfectly the other loyal and patriotic having been drunk with all due enthusiasm a comic song having been well sung by the gentleman with the small and a sentimental one by the second of the party we come to the most important toast of the evening prosperity to the charity here again we are compelled to adopt newspaper and to express our regret at being from giving even the substance of the noble lord s observations suffice it to say that the speech which is somewhat of the longest is received and the toast having been drunk the looking more important than ever leave the room and presently return heading a i n of boys and who walk round the room and bowing and treading on each other s heels and looking very much as if they would like a glass of wine apiece to the high gratification of the company generally and especially of the lady in the gallery children and re enter each with a blue plate in his hand the band plays a lively air the majority of the company put their hands in their pockets and look rather serious and the noise of sovereigns rattling on is heard from all parts of the room after a short interval occupied in singing and the secretary puts on his spectacles and proceeds to read the report oil w sketches by tions the latter listened to with great attention mr smith one mr one guinea mr one guinea mr one guinea mr one guinea mr charles one hear hear j mr james one guinea mr thomas one pound one tremendous applause lord the of the day in addition to an annual of fifteen pounds thirty guineas prolonged knocking several gentlemen knock the stems off their wine glasses in the vehemence of their approbation lady in addition to an annual of ten pound twenty pound protracted knocking and shouts of the list being at length concluded the rises and the health of the secretary than whom he knows no more or individual the secretary m returning thanks that he knows no more excellent individual than the except the senior officer of the charity whose health he to propose the senior officer in returning thanks that he no more worthy man than the except mr the whose health he to propose mr in returning thanks some other individual to whom alone the senior officer is inferior and so they go on and and thanking the only other toast of importance being the now present on whidi all the gentlemen turn their towards the ladies gallery shouting and little men who have more wine than usual kiss their hands and exhibit of we have protracted our dinner to so great a length that we have time to add one word by way of we can only entreat our readers not to imagine because we have attempted to extract some amusement from i charity dinner that we are at all dis posed to either the of the benevolent with which london or the motives of those who them the first of mat chapter xx the first of mat now up la the only e a if i y with m p w m p w e thb first of may there is a merry freshness in the sound calling to oar minds a thousand of all that is pleasant and beautiful in nature in her most delightful form what is there over whose mind a bright spring morning does not exercise a magic influence carrying him back to the days of his childish sports and up before him tiie old green field with its trees where the birds sane as he has never heard them tiie butterfly fluttered far more gaily than he ever sees him now in all his where the sky seemed and the sun shone more brightly where the blew more over grass and sweeter smelling flowers where every thing wore a richer and more brilliant hue than it is ever dressed in now such are the deep feelings of childhood and such are the impressions which every lovely object upon its heart i the hardy traveller through the of thick and woods where the sun s rays never shone and heaven s pure air never played he stands on the brink of the roaring and giddy and watches the foaming mass as it leaps from stone to stone and from to he in the fertile plains of a land of perpetual sunshine and in the luxury of their breath but what are the deep forests or the thundering waters or the richest that nature ever spread to charm the eyes and the senses of man compared with the recollection of the old scenes of his early youth magic scenes indeed for the fancies of childhood dressed them in colours brighter than the rainbow and almost as fleeting in former times spring brought with it not only such associations as these connected with the past but sports and games for the present merry dances round pillars adorned with of the season and reared in honour of its coming
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where are they now i pillars we have but they are no longer rustic ones and as to dancers they are used to rooms and lights and would not show well in the open air think of the too what would your sabbath say to an aristocratic ring the duke of york s column in a grand of the middle classes round s monument in fleet street or a general hands four round of ten pound at the foot of the in st george s fields t alas romance can make no head against the riot act and pastoral simplicity is not understood by the police many years ago we began to be a steady and matter of fact sort of people and dancing in spring being beneath our dignity we gave it up and in course of time it descended to the sweeps a fall certainly because though sweeps are very good fellows in their way and moreover very useful in a community they are not exactly the sort of people to give the tone to the little of society the sweeps however got the dancing to themselves and they kept it up and handed it down this was a severe blow to the romance of spring time but it did not entirely destroy it either ci w by i de to the sweeps with the dancing and rendered them objects of great interest a mystery hung the sweeps in those days legends were in existence of gentlemen who had lost children and who after many years of sorrow and suffering had found them in the character of sweeps stories were related of a young boy who been stolen from his parents in his infancy and devoted to the occupation of was sent in the course of his professional career to sweep the chimney of his mother s bedroom and how being hot and tired when he came out of the chimney he got into the bed he had so often slept in as an and was discovered and recognised therein by his mother who once every year of her life thereafter the pleasure of the company of every london sweep at half past one o clock to roast beef porter and sixpence such stories as these and there were many such threw an air of mystery round the sweeps and produced for them some of those good effects which animals derive from the doctrine of the of souls no one except the masters thought of ill treating a sweep because no one knew who he might be or what nobleman s or gentleman s son he might turn out chimney sweeping was by many in the marvellous considered as a sort of term at an earlier or later period of which divers young were to come into possession of their rank and titles and the profession was held by them in great respect accordingly we remember in our young days a little sweep about our own age with curly hair and white teeth whom we devoutly and believed to be the lost son and heir of some illustrious personage an impression which was resolved into an conviction on our infant mind by the subject of our speculations informing us one day in reply to our question a few moments before his to the of the chimney that he believed be d been bom in the but he d never know d his father we felt certain from that time forth that he one day be owned by a lord and we never heard the church bells ring or saw a flag hoisted in the neighbour hood without thinking that the event had at last occurred and that his long lost parent had arrived in i coach and six to take him home to square he never came however and at the present moment the young gentleman in question if settled down as a master sweep in the neighbourhood of battle bridge his characteristics being decided to washing and the of a pair of le i very inadequate to the support of and body the romance of spring having gone out before our time we were am to console ourselves as we best could with the uncertainty that enveloped the birth and of its attendant dancers the sweeps and we did console ourselves with it for many years but even this wretched of comfort received a shock from which it has never recovered s shock which has been in reality its death blow we could not from ourselves the fact that whole families of sweeps were regularly bom of sweeps in the rural of town and that the eldest son succeeded to father s business that the branches him therein and commenced on their own account that their children again were educated to the profession and that about their identity there could be do mistake whatever we could not ba blind we say to this melancholy truth but we could not bring ourselves to admit it nevertheless and we lived on for some years in a state of ignorance we were roused from our pleasant slumber by certain dark thrown out by a friend of ours to the effect that children in the lower ranks oi life were b id to chimney sweeping as thb t of mat that had been made by various bo ra to the to allow to pursue the object of their ambition the foil and of the law that the affair in short was becoming one of mere legal we a deaf ear to these at first but slowly and they stole upon us month after month week after week nay day after day at last did we meet with of similar the veil was removed all mystery was at an end and chimney sweeping had become a favourite and chosen there is no longer any occasion to steal boys for boys flock in crowds to bind
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themselves the romance of the trade has fled and the of the present day is no more like unto him of thirty years ago than is a fleet street to a spanish or paul to this gradual decay and of the practice of leading noble youths into and compelling them to chimneys was a severe blow if we may so speak to the romance of chimney sweeping and to the romance of spring at the same time but even this was not all for some few years ago the dancing on began to decline sweeps were observed to in or hy green with no my lord to act as master of the ceremonies and no my lady to over the even in companies where there was a green it was an absolute nothing a mere and the rarely extended beyond the and a set of better known to the many as a mouth organ these were signs of the times of a coming change and what was the result which they forth why the master sweeps influenced by a restless spirit of actually interposed their authority in opposition to the dancing a dinner an at white where clean appeared in of black ones with rose pink and knee and tops drawers and shoes gentlemen who were in the habit of riding shy horses and people who have no in their souls this alteration to the skies and the conduct of the master sweeps was described as beyond the reach of praise but how stands the real fact t let any man deny if he can that when the cloth had been removed fresh pots and pipes laid upon the table and the customary loyal and patriotic proposed the celebrated mr of and eve whose au not the most malignant of our can call in question expressed himself in a manner following that now he d the s hi he he might be jolly veil blessed if he t a goin to his he say these here that how some as know d about the had tried to sit people the r and take the shine out o their bis and the bread out o the traps o their by a o this here remark as could be as veil by as by boys and that the use o boys for that there he ad been a he begged the s for such a more nor thirty year he might say he d been bom in a and he know d uncommon veil as nor o no use and as to to the boys every body in the line know d as veil as he did that they the better nor as from this day we date the total fall of tlie last lingering remnant of may day dancing among the of the profession and from this period we commence a new era in that portion of our spring associations which relates to the st of may we are aware that the part of the po w sketches by here with the assertion that dancing on may day still continues that are seen to roll along the streets that youths in the garb of them giving vent to the of their fancies and that lords and ladies follow in their wake granted we are ready to acknowledge that in outward show these have greatly improved we do not deny the introduction of on the drum we will even go so far as to an occasional on the but here our end we positively deny that the sweeps have art or part in these proceedings we distinctly charge the with throwing what they ought to clear away into the eyes of the public we accuse and gentlemen who devote their energies to the line with obtaining money once a year under false pi we cling with peculiar fondness to the custom of days gone by and have shut out conviction as long as we could but it has forced itself upon us and we now proclaim to a public that the may day dancers are not sweeps the size of them alone is sufficient to the idea it is a notorious fact that the taste for register has materially increased the demand for small boys whereas the men who under a character dance about the streets on the first of may nowadays would be a tight fit in a kitchen to say of the parlour this is strong evidence but we have positive proof the evidence of our own senses and here is our testimony upon the morning of the second of the merry month of may in the of our lord one thousand eight hundred and thirty six we went out for a stroll with a kind of forlorn hope of seeing something or other which might induce us to believe that it was really spring and not christmas after wandering as far as house without meeting any calculated to our im op that there was a mistake in the we turned back down with the intention of passing through the extensive colony lying between it and battle bridge which is inhabited by of of of and of through which colony we should have passed without or tion if a crowd gathered round a had not attracted our attention and induced us to pause when we say a shed we do not mean the sort of build ing which according to the old song love when he was a young man but a wooden house with windows stuffed with rags and paper and t small yard at the side with one cart two baskets a few and little heaps of and of china and scattered about it before this inviting spot we paused and the longer we looked the more we wondered what exciting it could be that induced the foremost members of the crowd to their noses against
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the parlour window in the vain hope of catching glimpse of what was going on inside after staring about us for some minutes we appealed the cause of this assemblage to a in a suit of was smoking his pipe on our right hand but as the only answer we obtained was a playful whether our mother had disposed of her we determined to await the issue in silence judge of our virtuous indignation when the street door of shed opened and a party emerged clad in the costume and the appearance of may day sweeps i the first person who appeared was my lord in a blue coat and bright buttons with gilt paper over the yellow knee breeches pink cotton stockings and shoes a cocked hat ornamented with of coloured paper on his head the first op may a the size of a prize in his button hole a long handkerchief in his right hand and a thin cane in his left a murmur of applause ran through the crowd which was chiefly composed of his s personal friends when this graceful figure made his appearance which swelled into a burst of applause as his fair partner in the dance bounded forth to join him her was attired in pink bed with a low body and short sleeves the of her ankles was partially concealed by a perceptible pair of trousers and the inconvenience which might have resulted from the circumstance of her white satin shoes being a few sizes too large was by their being firmly attached to her legs with strong her head was ornamented with a profusion of artificial flowers and in her hand she bore a brass wherein to receive what she ihe tin ne other characters were a young gentleman in girl s clothes and a widow s cap two who walked upon their hands in the mud to the delight of all the spectators a man with a drum another man with a a woman in a large shawl with a box under her arm for the money and last though not least the green animated by no less a personage than our identical friend in the suit the man away at the drum the the rattled tlie green rolled about first on one side and then on the other my lady threw her right foot over her left ankle and her left foot over her right ankle alternately my lord ran a few paces forward and at the green and then a few paces backward upon the toes of the crowd and then went to the right and then to the left and then my lady round the green and drew her arm through his and called upon the boys to shout which they did for this was the dancing we passed the same group accidentally in the evening we never saw a green so drunk a lord so no not even in the house of after dinner a pair of so melancholy a lady so muddy or a party so miserable how has may day decayed by chapter xxi and t shops when we affirm that broken shops are strange places and that if an history of their contents could be procured it would furnish many a page of amusement and many a melancholy tale it is necessary to explain the class of shops to which we allude perhaps when we make use of the term shop the minds of our readers will at once picture large handsome exhibiting a long perspective of french polished dining tables and mahogany wash hand stands with occasional vista of a four post and and an appropriate of dining room chairs perhaps they will imagine that we mean an humble class of second hand furniture their imagination will then naturally lead them to that street at the back of long acre which is composed almost entirely of shops where you walk through groves of looking and where the prospect is occasionally by a bright red blue and yellow hearth rug with tlie pleasing device of a mail coach at full speed or a strange animal supposed to have been originally intended for a dog with a mass of work in his mouth which conjecture has to a basket of flowers this by the by is a tempting article to young wives in the ranks of life who have a first floor front to they are lost in admiration and hardly know which to admire most the dog is very beautiful but they have a dog already on the best tea tray and two more on the then there is something so genteel about that mail coach and the passengers outside who are all hat give it such an air of reality the goods here are adapted to the taste or to the means of cheap there are some most beautiful looking that were ever beheld the i green as the trees in the park leaves almost as certain to fa the course of a year there i most extensive of turn up made of wood and innumerable sped that base on society a turn up is i honest piece of furniture be slightly with i drawer and sometimes a i tempt is even made to pass it ornament it as y however the turn up to defy disguise and to insist oi it distinctly understood thai np and that he is that being so useful he ornamental how different is the sofa ashamed of use it to appear an a luxury and an which it miserably fails it the respectability of a sofa nor of a bed every man who sofa in his house be party to a wilful and design n we question whether you him more than by entertain the least suspicion oi use to return from this beg to say that neither of of shops forms the si this sketch the shops to w are those on
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whose outward ap we have slightly touched our must often have observed in e street in a poor neighbourhood dirty shop exposing for sale t q and confused ji and marine store shops old wretched articles that can well be imagined our wonder at their having been bought ia only to be equalled by our astonishment at the idea of their ever being sold again on a board at the side of the door are placed twenty books all odd volumes and as many wine glasses all different patterns several locks an old pan full of rusty keys two or three gaudy chimney ornaments cracked of course the remains of a without any drops a round frame like a capital o which has once held a a complete with the exception of the middle joint a pair of irons and a box in front of the shop window are ranged some half high backed chairs with complaints and wasted legs a corner cupboard two or three very dark mahogany tables with like problems some some with gilt and without an portrait of some lady who flourished about the beginning of the century by an artist who never flourished at all an host of of every description including bottles and rags and bones and street door fire irons wearing apparel and a hall lamp and a room door ine in addition to this mass a black doll in a white frock with two faces one looking up the street and the other looking down swinging over the door a board with the squeezed up inscription dealer in marine stores in white letters whose height is strangely out of proportion to their width and you have before you precisely the kind of shop to which we wish to direct your attention although the same mixture of things will be found at all these places it is curious to observe how truly and accurately some of the minor articles which are exposed for sale articles of wearing apparel for instance mark the character of the neighbourhood take lane and garden for example t is a theatrical neighbourhood there is not a in the vicinity who is not to a greater or less extent a dramatic character the errand boys and s sons are all stage struck they get up plays in back hired for the purpose and will stand before a shop window for hours contemplating a staring portrait of mr somebody or other of the royal theatre as he appeared in the character of the the consequence is that there is not a marine store shop in the neighbourhood which does not exhibit for sale some faded articles of dramatic finery such as three or four pairs of soiled boots with turn over red tops heretofore worn by a fourth robber or fifth mob a pair of rusty a few and ornaments which if they were yellow instead of white might be taken for plates of the sun fire office there are several of these shops in the narrow streets and dirty courts of which there are so many near the national theatres and they all have tempting goods of this description with the addition perhaps of a lady s pink dress covered with white wreaths stage shoes and a like a tin lamp they have been purchased of some wretched or sixth rate actors and are now offered for the benefit of the rising generation who on condition of making certain weekly in the whole to about ten times their value may avail themselves of such desirable let us take a very different quarter and apply it to the same test look at a marine store dealer s in that of dirt and thieves baked potatoes and salmon ere the wearing apparel is all rough blue with pearl buttons oil skin hats coarse checked shirts and large trousers that look as if they were made for a pair of bodies instead of a pair of legs are the c w di k v i sketches by cotton pocket handkerchiefs in colour and pattern unlike any one ever saw before with the exception of those on the backs of the three young ladies without who passed just now the furniture is much the same as elsewhere with the addition of one or two models of ships and some old prints of naval engagements in still older frames in window are a few a small tray containing silver watches in clumsy thick cases and tobacco boxes the lid of each ornamented with a ship or an anchor or some such a sailor or all he has before he has been long ashore and if he does not some favoured companion kindly him the trouble in either case it is an even chance that he afterwards unconsciously the same things at a higher price than he gave for at first again pay a visit with a similar object to a part of london as unlike both of these as they are to each other cross over to the side and look at such shops of this description as are to be found near the king s bench prison and in the rides how different and bow strikingly of the decay of some of the unfortunate in this part of the metropolis imprisonment and neglect have done their work there is in the of a prison old friends have fallen off tl recollection of former prosperity h passed away and with it all for the past all care for the first watches and rings then coats and all the more articles of dress have found their wi to the s that resource has failed at last and the sa of some trifling article at one of the shops has been the only mode left raising a shilling or two to meet tl urgent demands of the dressing cases and writing ti old to but too good to guns
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fi rods musical instrument all in the same condition have fir been sold and the sacrifice has bee but slightly felt but hunger must and what has already a habit is easily resorted to when a emergency arises light articles clothing first of the ruined man the of his wife at last of their even of the youngest have been with there tliey are throw carelessly together until a purchase presents himself old and patched ao repaired it is true but the make ao materials tell of better days and tb older they are the greater tlie and of those whom the once adorned i shops ill chapter hop is a remarkable circumstance that trades appear to partake of disease to which and are especially and to run staring mad e great distinction between the and the trades is that the run mad with a certain degree propriety they are very regular in ir we know the at which the emergency will se and provide against it accord iy if an elephant run mad we are ready for him kill or cure or lets in of roses lead in a barrel if a dog to look warm in summer months and to trot about shady side of the streets with a of a yard of tongue hanging t of his mouth a thick leather has been previously prepared in with the thoughtful in j of the is instantly over his head by way of a cooler and he either looks remark ly unhappy for the next six weeks or insane and goes mad it were by act of parliament but e trades are as eccentric as worse for no one can calculate on i of the strange which the disease the is general i the quickness with which it almost incredible we will two or three cases in of our meaning six or ht years ago the began to play itself among the linen the were an love of plate s and a passion for gas lights and ling the disease gradually and at last attained a fearful quiet dusty old shops in parts of town were pulled down premises with fronts and gold letters were erected instead floors were covered witli turkey carpets roofs supported by massive pillars doors knocked into windows a dozen squares of glass into one one a dozen and there is no knowing what would have been done if it had not been fortunately discovered just in time that the of were as competent to decide such cases as the of and that a httle confinement and gentle examination did wonders the disease it died away a year or two of comparative tranquillity ensued suddenly it burst out again among the tlie symptoms were the same with the addition of a strong desire to stick tlie royal arms over the shop door and a great rage for and expensive floor cloth then the were and began to pull down their shop fronts with frantic the again died away and the began to congratulate themselves on its entire disappearance when it burst forth with ten fold violence among the and of wine from that moment it has spread among with rapidity exhibiting a of all the previous symptoms onward it has rushed to part of town knocking down all the old public houses and splendid stone immense lamps and illuminated at the comer of every street the extensive scale on which these places are established and the manner in which the business of even the smallest among them is divided into branches is amusing a handsome plate of ground glass in one door you to the another to the bottle department j a vi ii a tf i k sketches by department a fourth to the wine and so forth until we are in daily expectation of meeting with a brandy bell or a entrance then ingenuity is in attractive titles for the different descriptions of gin and the drain drinking portion of the community as they gaze upon the gigantic black and white which are only to be equalled in size by the figures beneath are left in a state of pleasing hesitation between the cream of the valley the out and out the no mistake the good for mixing the real knock the celebrated butter gin the regular up and a dozen other equally inviting and wholesome although places of this description are to be met with in every second street they are invariably numerous and splendid in precise proportion to the dirt and poverty of the surrounding neighbourhood the in and near lane st s garden and ai e the in london there is more of and near those great than in any part of this mighty city we will endeavour to sketch the bar of a large gin shop and its ordinary customers for the of such of our readers as may not have had opportunities of observing such scenes and on the chance of finding one well suited to our purpose we will make for lane through the narrow streets and dirty courts which divide it from oxford street and that spot adjoining the at the bottom of court road best known to the as the the filthy and miserable appearance of this part of london can hardly be by those and there are many such who have not witnessed it wretched houses with broken windows patched with rags and paper every room let out to a different family and in many instances to two or even three fruit and sweet stuff in the and red in the front pa in the back a in the first floor three families on the second starvation in the in the passage a in the front kitchen and a and five hungry children in the back one a before the houses and t drain clothes drying
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and from the windows girls of fourteen or fifteen with hair walking about and in white great coats almost their only covering boys of all ages in coats of all and no coats at all men and women in every variety of scanty and dirty apparel lounging scolding drinking smoking fitting ai swearing you the comer what a change all is light and brilliancy the hum of many voices issues from that splendid gin shop which forms the commencement of the two streets opposite and the gay building with the ornamented the clock the plate glass windows surrounded by and its profusion of gas lights in richly is dazzling when contrasted with the darkness and dirt we have just left the interior is even than the exterior a bar of french polished mahogany carved extends the whole width of the place and there are two side of great painted green and gold enclosed a light brass rail and bearing such as i tom young tom the figures agreeing we presume with understand beyond the bar is t lofty and spacious saloon full of the same vessels with a gallery running round it equally furnished on the counter in to the usual spirit apparatus are two or three little baskets of cakes sod which are carefully secured at top with w to prevent their contents being abstracted behind it are two f with large the spirits and they are assisted by the proprietor of the concern a coarse fellow in a fur cap put on very much on one side to him a knowing air and to display his sandy whiskers to the best advantage the two old who are seated on the little bench to the left of the bar are rather overcome by the head dresses and haughty of tlie ladies who they receive their half of gin and with considerable deference a request for one of them soft with a be good enough ma am they are quite astonished at air of the young fellow in a brown coat and bright buttons who in his two companions and walking up to the bar in as careless a manner as if he had been used to green and gold ornaments ail his life at one of the young ladies with singular coolness and calls for a and a three out glass just as if the place were his own gin for you sir says the lady when she has it carefully looking every way but the right one to show that the wink had no effect upon her for me mary my dear replies the gentleman in brown my name an t as it happens says the young girl rather as she the change well if it an t it ought to be the irresistible one all the as ever see was handsome here the young lady not precisely remembering how are managed in such cases abruptly ends the by addressing the female in the faded feathers who has just entered and who after stating to prevent any subsequent misunderstanding that this gentleman pays calls for a glass of port wine and a bit of sugar those two old men who came in just to have a drain finished their third a few seconds ago they have made themselves cr ing no drunk and the fat comfortable looking elderly women who had a glass of rum each having in their on the hardness of the times one of the women has agreed to stand a glass round observing that grief never mended no broken bones and as good people s scarce what i says is the most on em and that s all about it i a sentiment which appears to afford unlimited satisfaction to those who have nothing to pay it is and the throng of men women and children who been constantly going in and out down to two or three occasional cold creatures in tlie last stage of and disease the knot of irish at the lower end of the place who have been alternately shaking hands with and threatening the life of each other for the last hour become furious in their and finding it impossible to silence man who is particularly anxious to tlie difference they resort to the expedient of knocking him down and jumping on him afterwards the man in the fur cap and the rush out a scene of riot and confusion half the get shut out and the other half get shut in the is knocked among tho in no time the landlord body and every body the landlord the scream the police come in the rest is a confused mixture of arms legs torn coats and struggling some of the party are borne off to tlie station house and the remainder home to beat their wives for complaining and kick the children for daring to be hungry we have this subject very slightly not only because our limits compel us to do so but because if it were pursued farther it would be painful and repulsive well disposed gentlemen and charitable ladies would alike turn with coldness and disgust from a description of the drunken men and n b fi sketches bt broken down miserable women who form no portion of the of these haunts in the pleasant consciousness of own the of the one and the temptation of the other in is a great rice in england but wretchedness and dirt are a greater and until jou improve the homes of the poor or persuade a half wretch not to seek relief in the temporary oblivion of his own misery with the which divided his family would a of bread for each gin shops will increase in number and splendour if societies would suggest an against hunger foul air or could for the distribution of bottles of water gin would be numbered among the that were chapter ths s shop of the numerous for
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misery and distress with which the streets of london unhappily abound there are perhaps none which present such scenes as the shops the very nature and description of these places occasions their being but uttle known except to tiie unfortunate beings whose or misfortune them to seek the temporary relief offer the subject may appear at first sight to be any thing but an inviting one but we venture on it nevertheless in the hope that as far as the limits of our present paper are concerned it will present nothing to disgust even the most fastidious reader there are some shops of a very superior description there are in as m every thine else and must be even in the aristocratic spanish cloak and tiie shirt the silver fork and the flat iron the muslin and the would but ill together so the better sort of calls himself a and his shop with and expensive while more money f his calling and it is with shops of the latter class that we have to x we have selected one for our purpose and will endeavour to describe it the s shop is situated near lane at the comer of a court which affords a side for tiie accommodation of customers as may be desirous of avoiding the observation of the by or the chance of recognition in the street it is a low dirty looking dusty shop the door of which stands always a way open half inviting half tiie who if he be as yet one of the old in the window for a minute or two with affected eagerness as if he contemplated a purchase and looking cautiously round to that no one watches him hastily in the door closing of itself after him to just its former width the shop front and the window frames evident marks of been ones painted but what the colour was originally or at what date it was probably laid on are at this remote period questions which may be asked bat be answered the s shop the ey in the door h at night three red balls on a once bore also in graceful waves the words money on plate jewels apparel and every description f property bnt a few are all that now to the fact the plate and jewels seem to have disappeared with the for the of stock which are displayed hi some in the window do not any of either kind a few old china cups modem adorned with paltry paintings of three spanish playing three spanish or a party of each with one leg painfully elevated in the air by way of expressing his perfect freedom and gaiety several sets of two or three a few a round eyed portrait in from a very dark some bound and two rows of watches quite as and almost as large as s first old table and tea displayed like in strings of coral with great gilt cards of rings and fastened and separately like the insects in the british cheap silver and boxes with a star complete the department while five or six beds in clouded strings of blankets and sheets and cotton handkerchiefs and apparel of every description the more useful though even less part of the articles exposed for sale an extensive collection of and other tools which have been pledged and never form the of the picture while the large fuu of bundles which ave dimly seen through the dirty up stain the the adjoining houses straggling and rotten with one or two heads thrust out of every window and old red and plants exposed on the tottering to the manifest hazard of tbe heads of tiie the noisy men under the at tne comer of the court or about the gin shop next door and their wives patiently standing on e stone with large baskets of cheap vegetables round them for are its immediate if the outside of the shop be calculated to attract the attention or excite the interest of the its interior cannot fail to produce the same effect in an increased degree the front door which we have before noticed opens into the common shop which is the resort of all those customers whose habitual acquaintance with such scenes renders them indifferent to the observation of their companions in poverty the side door opens into a small passage from whidi some half dozen doors which may be secured on the inside by open into a corresponding number of little or which face the counter here the more timid or respectable portion of the crowd themselves from the notice of the remainder and patiently wait until the gentleman behind the counter with the curly black hair diamond ring and double silver watch guard shall feel disposed to favour them with his notice a which depends considerably on the temper of the gentleman for the time being at the present moment this individual is in the act of entering the he has just made out in a thick book a process from which he is diverted occasionally by a conversation he is carrying on with another young man employed at a from him whose allusions to tiiat last bottle of last and how round my hat he felt himself when the young gave em in charge would appear to refer to the consequences of some stolen of the evening c sketches by generally seem unable to te in the amusement firom this ce for an old woman who has been leaning with th arms on the counter with a small bundle before her for half an hour previously the conversation by addressing the now mr henry do make haste there s a soul for my two s locked up at and i m d of the fire the slightly raises his head with an air of deep abstraction and bis entry with
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as much deliberation as if he were you re in a hurry mrs this ev an t is the only notice he to take after the lapse of five minutes or so yes i am indeed mr henry now do serve me next there s a good i wouldn t worry you only it s all along o them children what have you got here v the the bundle old concern i pair o stays and a you must look up else old i can t lend you any more upon them they re completely worn out by this time if it s only by putting in and taking out again three times a week oh you re a rum un ou are replies the old woman extremely as in duty bound i wish i d got the gift of uie hke you see if i d be up the so often then i no no it an t uie it s a child s frock and a beautiful silk as belongs to my husband he gave four for it the same blessed day as he broke his arm what do you want upon these mr henry slightly glancing at the articles in all probability are old what do you want upon these t lend you oh make it a there s a dear do now not another well i suppose i must take it the is made out one ticket pinned on the parcel the other given to the old the parcel is flung carelessly down into a comer and some other customer prefers his claim to be served without further delay the choice falls on an dirty looking fellow whose paper cap stuck over one eye an repulsive expression to his very countenance he enjoying a little from his pursuits a quarter of so hour ago in kicking liis wife up the court he has come to i some tools probably to complete a job with on account of which he has already received some money if his countenance and drunken may be taken as evidence of uie fact having waited some little time be makes his presence known by his ill humour on a ragged who being unable to bring his face on a level with the counter by any other process has employed himself in climbing up and then himself on with his elbows an uneasy perch from which he has fallen at interval generally on the toes of the person in his immediate vicinity in the present case the unfortunate wretch has received a which sends to tlie door and the of the blow is immediately the object of general indignation what do you strike the boy for you brute t a slip shod woman with two flat irons in a little basket do you think he s your wife you go and hang yourself replies the gentleman addressed with a drunken look of savage stupidity at the same time a blow at the woman which fortunately its object go and hang yourself and wait till i come and cat you down cut you down the woman i wish i had the cutting of you up you loud oh you precious rather louder where s your wife you louder still women this class are always sympathetic and work themselves into a tremendous passion on the shortest notice your poor dear wife as you uses the s shop i dog strike a n you a man very i wish i had you i d yon i would if i died for it now be civil the man be civil you the woman contemptuously an t it shocking round and appealing to an woman who is peeping out of one f the httle we have before and who has not the slight st objection to join in the attack as she does the comfortable conviction that she is bolted in an t it shocking ma am dreadful the old woman in a lot exactly knowing what the question to he s got a wife ma am s takes in and is as and hard working a young is can be very fast as lives in the lack parlour of our ous which my and me lives in the front one with great rapidity and we hears im a beaten on her sometimes when le comes home drunk the whole through and not only a beaten but beaten his own child too to sake her more miserable you and she poor wear the peace him nor do because she likes the wretch all worse luck here as he woman has completely run herself of breath the who has just appeared behind he counter in a gray dressing gown the favourable opportunity if putting in a word now i won t lave none of this sort of thing on my he with an air authority mrs keep to yourself or you don t for a flat iron here you leave your ticket till you re sober and send your for them two for i lave you in my shop at no price so yourself scarce before i make this eloquent address produces any but the effect desired die women ail in concert the man about in all directions and is in the act if an claim to lodgings for the night when the entrance of his wife a wretched worn out woman apparently in the last stage of consumption whose face bears evident marks of recent ill usage and whose strength seems hardly equal to the light enough god knows of the thin sickly child she carries in her arms turns his cowardly rage in a safer direction come home dear cries the miserable creature in an do come home there s a good fellow and go to bed go home
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broad handkerchief and top boots with a brown coat something between a and a jacket on his back and an key in his left hand perhaps you are lucky enough to pass just as the gate is being opened then you see on the other side of the lodge another gate the image of and two or three more who look like of the first one seated round a fire which just lights up the apartment sufficiently to enable you to catch a of these different objects we a great respect for mrs but she certainly ought to have written more than we were walking leisurely down the old some time ago when as we passed this identical gate it was opened by the we turned quickly round as a matter of course and saw two persons descending the steps we could not help stopping and observing they were an woman of decent appearance though evidently poor and a boy of about fourteen or fifteen the woman was bitterly she carried a small bundle inner hand and the boy followed at a short distance behind her their little history was obvious the boy was her son to whose comfort she had p sacrificed her own for sake she had borne misery without and without a murmur looking steadily forward to the time when he who so long witnessed her struggles for himself might be enabled to make some exertions for their joint support he had formed idleness had led to crime and he had been to take his for om sketches bt he had been long in prison and after receiving some trifling additional had been ordered to be discharged that morning it was his first offence and his poor old mother still hoping to him had been waiting at the gate to him to return home we cannot forget the boy he descended the steps with a dogged look shaking his head with an air of and obstinate determination they walked a few paces and paused the woman put her hand upon his shoulder in an agony of entreaty and the boy sullenly raised his head as if in refusal it was a brilliant morning and every object looked fresh and in the broad gay sun light he gazed round him for a few moments bewildered with the brightness of the scene for it was lone since he had beheld anything save ue gloomy walls of a prison perhaps the wretchedness of his mother made some impression on the boy s heart perhaps some recollection of the time when he was a happy child and she his only and best companion crowded on him he burst into tears and covering his face with one hand and hurriedly placing the other in his mother s walked away with her curiosity has occasionally led us into courts at the old nothing is so likely to strike the person who enters them for the first time as the calm indifference with which the proceedings are conducted every trial seems a mere matter of business there is a great deal of form but no compassion considerable interest but no sympathy old court for example there sit the judges with whose great dignity every body is acquainted and of whom therefore we need say no more there is the lord mayor in tlie centre looking as cool as a lord mayor look with an immense before him and in all tlie splendour of his office then there are tlie who are almost as ed as the lord mayor himself m d tiie who are quite dignified enough in their own opinion and the spectators who having paid for their admission look upon the whole scene as if it were got up especially for their amusement look upon the whole group in the body of the court some wholly engrossed in the morning papers others carelessly conversing in low whispers and others again quietly away an hour and you can scarcely believe that the result of the trial is a matter of life or death to one wretched being present but your eyes to the dock the prisoner attentively for a few moments and the fact is before von in all its painful reality mark how be has been engaged for the last ten minutes in forming all sorts of fantastic figures with the which are upon the ledge before him observe the of his face when a particular witness appears and how he changes his position and his forehead and feverish hands when the case for the is closed as if it were a relief to him to feel that the jury knew the worst the defence is concluded the judge proceeds to sum up the evidence and tlie prisoner watches the countenances of the as a dying man to life to the very last vainly looks in the face of his physician for a slight ray of hope they turn round to consult you can almost hear the man heart beat as he the stalk of with a desperate effort to appear composed they resume their places a dead silence as the in the verdict guilty a shriek bursts from a female in the gallery the prisoner casts one look at the quarter from whence the noise proceeded and is immediately hurried from the dock by the the clerk one c the officers of the court to take the woman out and fresh business is proceeded as if nothing bad occurred no imaginary contrast to k case like tliis could be as complete as that a presented in the criminal w court the of which is in no small de iy by the and of a boy of thirteen say for picking tne pocket of le subject of her majesty and the is as clearly proved as can be he is called upon defence and contents himself a little about the and
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his country t all the witnesses have committed jury and hints that the police force have entered into a con again him however this statement may be it i to convince the court and some li scene as the following then takes have you any witnesses to ik to your character boy yes my lord fifteen l is a outside and a day yesterday they told me night afore my trial a on inquire for these witnesses a stout runs out and for the witnesses at the very of his voice for you hear his cry w fainter and as he the steps into the court yard after an absence of five he returns very warm and and the court of what new perfectly well before namely that there are no such witnesses in attendance the boy sets up a most awful howling e lower part of the palms of his hands into the comers of his eyes and to look the picture of injured innocence the jury at once find him guilty and his to squeeze out a tear or two are the governor of e then states in reply to ap inquiry from the bench that the prisoner has been under his care twice before this the resolutely in some such terms as s me gen n i never in trouble afore indeed my lord i never it s all a to my having a twin brother has got into trouble and is so exactly like me that no ever knows the differ ence us this representation like the defence fails in producing the desired effect and the boy is perhaps to seven years finding it impossible to excite compassion he gives vent to his feelings in an bearing reference to the eyes of old big and as he to take the trouble of walking from the dock is forthwith carried out himself on having succeeded in giving everybody as much trouble as possible sketches by chapter xxv a ti it to the of is a in body s and it is not a little that those use it most applied to afford in own persons r examples of the power which and custom exercise over the of men and of the little reflection they are apt to bestow on subjects with every da s experience has rendered them familiar if be suddenly removed like another s palace and set down on the now by scarcely one man out of a ed whose road to business every morning lies through or the old would pass the building without a hasty glance on its and a transient thought upon the condition of the unhappy beings in its dismal and yet these same men day by day and hour by hour pass and this gloomy of the guilt and misery of london in perpetual stream of life and bustle utterly of the throng of wretched creatures pent up within it nay not even knowing or if they do not the fact that as they pass one particular angle of the massive wall with a light laugh or a merry whistle they stand within one yard of a fellow creature bound and helpless whose hours are numbered from whom the last feeble ray of hope has fled for ever and whose miserable career will shortly in a violent and shameful death contact with death even in its least terrible shape is solemn and appalling how much more awful is it to reflect on this near vicinity to the dying to men in health and vigour m the flower of youth or the prime of life with their and as and perfect as your own but dying nevertheless dying as with tbe hand of death upon them aa ind aa if disease had wasted their ts shadows and had begun it was with some w these that we determined weeks since to visit the of in an of course and having earned oar into we proceed to its before our in the hope more upon the of thi subject than on any p re in our own that this paper may not be food wholly devoid of interest we base v to that we do not intend to fatigue the reader with any the prison they be found at length in of numerous and a of of weight we took no notes made no measured none oi the yard the exact of is no particular room are unable to report of how many apartments the is composed we saw the prison and saw tbe prisoners and what we did see and what we thought we will tell at once in our own way having delivered our to the servant who answered our knock at the door of the s house ve were ushered into the office a little room on the right hand side as enter with two windows looking into the old fitted up like an attorney s office or merchant s counting house with the usual a a or two a desk a couple of a of clerks an a clock and t few maps after a little delay e by sending into the ff of a to die for the officer it was to that a man of two or three and in a broad and fall of who but for hie keys have looked quite aa much like a clergyman ae a we were he had not even on following our conductor by a door c to that at which we had entered we arrived at a small room without any other than a little desk with a book for and a shelf on which were a few boxes for papers casts of the heads and of the two notorious bishop and the former in particular a style head and set of features which might have afforded moral grounds for his instant
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entered at once upon the stem realities and miseries of ufe and to their better nature it is almost hopeless to appeal in by any of the which wiu awaken if it be only for a moment some good feeling in ordinary however corrupt they may have become talk to of parental solicitude the happy days of childhood and the merry games of infancy tell them of hunger and the streets and the gin shop tiie station house and the s and they will understand you two or three women were at different parts of the grating conversing with their friends but a veiy large proportion of the prisoners ap to have no friends at all beyond such of their old companions as happen to be within the walls passing hastily down e yard and pausing only for an instant to the little incidents we have just recorded we were conducted up a and well lighted flight of stone stain to one of the wards there are r x m l d of the but i a visit to of one is a of the wh e it was a spacious bare apartment of coarse by windows looking into the interior of the prison but far more light and airy than one could reasonably expect to find in such a situation there was a lai fire with a deal table before it round which ten or a dozen women were seated on wooden forms at dinner along both sides of the room ran a shelf below it at regular intervals a row of large hooks were fixed in the wall on each of which was hung the sleeping mat of a prisoner her rug and being folded up and on the shelf above at night these are placed on uie floor each beneath the hook on which it hangs during the day and the ward is thus made to answer the purposes both of a day room and sleeping apartment over the fireplace was a sheet of on which were displayed a variety of from scripture which were also scattered about the room in about the and shape of the copy slips which are used in schools on the table was a sufficient provision of a kind of beef and brown bread in dishes which are kept perfectly bright and displayed on shelves in great order and regularity when they are not in use the women rose hastily on our entrance and retired in a hurried manner to either side of the fireplace they were all many of them decently attired and there was peculiar either in their appearance or one or two resumed the which they had probably laid aside at the commencement of their meal others gazed at the visitors with curiosity and a few retired behind their companions to the yery end of the room as if desirous to avoid even the casual observation of the strangers some old irish women both in this and other wards to whom the thing was no novelty appeared perfectly indifferent to our presence and remained standing close to the seats from which they had just risen but the general feeling among the females seemed to be one of uneasiness during the period of our stay among them which was very brief not a word was uttered during the time of our remaining unless indeed by the in reply to some question which we put to the who accompanied us in every ward on the female a is appointed to preserve order and a is adopted among the the and are all prisoners selected for good conduct they alone are allowed uie privilege of sleeping on a small being placed in every ward for that purpose on both sides of the is a small receiving room to which prisoners are conducted on their first reception and whence they cannot be removed until they have been examined by the surgeon of the prison our steps to the dismal passage in which we found ourselves at first and which by the by three or four dark for the accommodation of prisoners we were led through a narrow yard to e school a portion of the prison set apart for boys under fourteen years of age in a tolerable sized room in which were writing materials and some copy books was the with a couple of his pupils the remainder having been fetched from an adjoining apartment the whole were drawn up in line for our inspection there were fourteen of them in all some with shoes some without some in without others in without and one in scarce anything at all the whole number without an exception we believe had been committed for trial on charges of pocket picking and fourteen such terrible little faces we never beheld there was not one the of the prison relative to the of during the day their sleeping at night their taking their and other matters of have been all greatly for the better since this sketch was first published sketches bt feature among them not a glance of honesty a of anything bnt the and the in the whole collection ab to anything like shame or that was entirely oat of the they were evidently quite gratified at being thought worth the trouble of looking at their idea to be that we had come to see r as a grand a and ihey were an indispensable part of the show and every boy as he fell in to e line actually seemed as pleased and important as if he had done in setting there at au we never looked upon a more disagreeable sight because we never saw fourteen hopeless creatures of neglect before on either side of the is a yard for men in one of which that street prisoners of the more respectable class are confined of the other we have little description to as
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the different wards necessarily partake of the same character they are provided like the wards on the women s side with and which are disposed of in the same manner during the day the only t striking between their appearance and that of the wards inhabited by the females is the utter absence of any employment huddled together on two opposite forms by the fireside sit twenty men perhaps here a boy in livery there a man in a rough great coat and on a desperate looking fellow in his shirt sleeves with an old scotch cap upon his shaggy head near him a tall n an in a frock next to him a miserable being of distressed appearance with his head resting on his hand au alike in one respect all idle and when they do leave the fire about lounging in the window or leaning against the wall their bodies to and fro with the exception of a man reading an old newspaper in two or three instances this was the case in every ward we entered the only men have with their friends is through close iron with an space of about a yard in between the two so that nothing em be handed across nor can the prisoner have any communication by with the person who visits him the married men have a separate at which to see their wives but construction is the same the prison l is at the back of the the having no windows looking into the interior of the prison whether the connected e the knowledge thai here a of the burial service ia on some ful occasions performed over the and not upon the dead cast over it a still more gloomy and air than art has imparted to it we know not but its appearance is striking there is in a silent deserted of worship and impressive at any time and the very of thia one from any we have been to only the impression the meanness of its the bare and scanty pulpit with the paltry painted pillars on side the women s gallery with its great heavy curtain um men s with its benches and dingy front the tottering little table at the altar with the on the wall above h scarcely through lack of and dust and so unlike the velvet and the marble and wood of a modem church are strange and striking there ia one too which the sad the gaze and from whidi we may turn horror stricken in vain for the recollection of it will haunt waking and sleeping for a long tone afterwards immediately the reading desk on the of tht chapel and forming the most object in its little is the a huge pen in which the who are out for are placed on the sunday a visit to in si of ill from many of whom been but a week y to hear for own to join in the of their and to listen to an s warning their take by their fi while there is nearly and twenty o and flee from the to come imagine what haye feelings of the men whom has and of between the gallows and the no mortal remnant may now think of the hopeless clinging to the the wild despair in anguish the b by which they hare heard of their speedy i world all their i npon their heads into am by the one time and at no distant tiie of the men to be were in npon the seat by side the whole service it may incredible bnt it is let that the increased spirit of and humanity which and degrading day extend itself to other f barbarous which have re the plea of utility in their le as every year s experience has them to be more and more ting the chapel descending to so frequently alluded to the yard before noticed to prisoners of a more description than the men confined here the s at a thick iron ate of great nd strength been ad i through it by the on he turns sharp round to the left before another gate and i passed this last he i in the most terrible part of building the condemned i press yard well known by to readers from its fr in of is at the comer of tha building and next to the ordinary house in street from street towards the of e prison parallel with market it is a long narrow court of which a portion of the wall in street forms one end and the gate the other at the upper end os the left hand that is the wall in street of water and at the bottom a double grating of whidi the gate itself forms a part similar to that before described through the prisoners are allowed to see their friends a remaining in the vacant between during the whole interview immediately on the right as you enter is a building containing the press room day room and the yard is on every side surrounded by lofty walls guarded by de e and the whole is under the constant inspection of and experienced in the first apartment into which we were conducted was at the top of a staircase and immediately over the press were five and twenty or thirty prisoners all under sentence of death awaiting the result of the s report men of au ages and appearances from a hardened old with face and beard of three days growth to a handsome boy not fourteen years old and of youthful appearance even for age who had been condemned for there was nothing remarkable in the appearance of these prisoners one or two decently dressed men were brooding with a dejected air over the fire several little groups
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of two or three had been engaged in conversation at the upper end of the room or in the windows and the remainder were crowded round a young man seated at a table who appeared to be engaged in the younger ones to write the room was airy and dean there was very anxiety or mental depicted in the countenance of say m ol f sketches by had all been to death it true and the s report had not yet been made but we question whether there was a man among them notwithstanding who did not know that although he had undergone the ceremony it never was intended that his life i ould be sacrificed on the table lay a testament but there were no of its having been in recent use in the press room below were three men the nature of whose offence rendered it necessary to separate them even from their companions in guilt it is a long sombre room with two windows sunk into the stone wall and here the wretched men are on the morning of their execution before moving towards the the fate of one of these prisoners was uncertain some circumstances having come to since his trial which had been represented in the proper quarter the other two had nothing to expect from the mercy of the crown their doom was sealed no plea could be urged in of crime and they well knew that for them there was no hope in this world the two short ones the whispered were dead men the man to whom we have alluded as entertaining some hopes of escape was lounging at the greatest distance he could place between himself and his companions in the window nearest to the door he was probably aware of our approach and had assumed an air of courageous indifference his face was purposely averted towards the window and he stirred not an inch while we were present the other two men were at the upper end of the room one of them who was imperfectly seen in the dim light had his back towards us and was stooping over the fire his right arm on the and his head sunk upon it the other was on the sill of the farthest window the light fell full upon him and communicated to his pale face and disordered hair an appearance which at that was his cheek rested upon his hand and with face a little raised and his eyes widely staring before him he seemed to be unconsciously intent on counting tiie in the opposite wall we this room again afterwards the first man was pacing up and down the court with a firm step he had been a soldier in the foot guards and a cloth cap thrown on one of his head he bowed respectfully to our conductor and the salute was returned the other two still remained in the positions we have described ind were as motionless as statues a few paces up the yard and forming a of the building in which are the two rooms we have quitted lie the condemned the entrance is by a narrow and staircase leading to a dark in which a stove casts a find tint over the objects in its vicinity and something like warmth around from the left hand side of this passage the massive door of every cell on tlie story opens and from it alone can they be approached there are three of these passages and three of these of one i ve the other but in size furniture and appearance they are all precisely alike prior to the s report made all the prisoners under sentence of death are removed from the at five o clock in the and locked up in these where they are allowed a candle until tea o clock and here they remain until seven next morning when the warrant for a prisoner s execution arrives he k removed to the and confined is one of them until he leaves it for the he is at liberty to walk in the yard but both in his walks sail in his cell he is constantly attended by a who never leaves him oo any pretence we entered the first it a stone eight feet long by six wide with a bench at the upper these two men were executed afterwards the other was his s if it a visit to im er which were a common rug b bible and prayer book an iron was fixed into the wall at the side and a small high window in the back admitted as much air and light as could struggle in between a double row of heavy crossed iron bars it contained no other furniture of any description the situation of a man spending his last night on earth in this cell up with some vague and hope of he knew not why indulging in some wild and visionary idea of escaping he knew not how hour after hour of the three preceding days allowed him for preparation has fled with a speed no man living would deem possible for none but this dying man can know h has wearied his friends with entreaties exhausted the attendants with neglected in his feverish restlessness the of his spiritual and now that the illusion is at last now that eternity is before him and guilt behind now that his fears of death amount himself to be led to his seat mechanically takes tlie bible which is placed in his hand and tries to read and listen no his thoughts will wander the book is torn and soiled by use and like the book he read his lessons in at school just forty years ago he has never bestowed a thought upon it perhaps since he left it as a child and yet the place the time the room nay
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the veiy boys he played with crowd as vividly before him as if they were scenes of yesterday and some forgotten phrase some childish word rings in his ears like the echo of one uttered but a minute since the voice of the clergyman him to himself he is from the sacred book its solemn promises of pardon for repentance and its awful of men he falls upon his knees and his hands to pray hush what sound was that he starts upon his feet it cannot be two yet hark two quarters have struck the the fourth it is i six hours left tell him not of to madness and an i ance six hours repentance for eight ing sense of his helpless hopeless state i times six years of guilt and sin he rushes upon him he is lost and i his face in his hands and throws and has neither to turn to nor power to call upon the almighty being from whom alone he can seek mercy and forgiveness and before whom his repentance can alone avail hours have glided by and still ho upon the same stone bench with folded arms heedless alike of the fast time before him and the urgent entreaties of the good man at his side the feeble light is wasting and the stillness of the street without broken only by the of some passing vehicle which echoes mournfully through the empty yards him that the night is fast away the deep bell of st paul s strikes one he heard it it has roused him seven hours left he paces the narrow limits of his cell with rapid strides cold drops of terror starting on his forehead and every muscle of his frame quivering himself on the bench worn with watching and excitement he sleeps and the same unsettled state of mind him in his dreams an load is taken from his breast he is walking with his wife in a pleasant field with the bright sky above them and a fresh and boundless prospect on every side how from the stone walls of she is not as she did when he saw her for the last time in that dreadful place but as she used when he loved her long long ago before misery and had altered her looks and vice had changed his nature and she is leaning upon liis arm and looking up into his face with tenderness and affection and he does not strike her now nor rudely shake her from him and oh how glad he is to tell her all he had forgotten in that last hurried agony seven hours he interview and u l i no k sketches by before her and her for all the and cruelty that her form and her heart the scene he is oa hie there are the judge and and and just aa they were e how full the court is what a sea of with a tee and a and how au those stare at m verdict guilty matter he will the m and the haye been left open and in an instant ha is in the street flying from the scene of his like the wind the streets are cleared the open fields are and the broad wide country lies before him onward he in the midst ef ov hedge and through mad and pool bounding from spot te not with a speed and even to at length he he must be safe from pursuit now he wiu stretch himself on thai bank and sleep till a period of he wakes cold and wretched the dull gray light of morning la steal ing into the and falls the form ef the attendant by his dreams he starts from his uneasy bed in y it is but momentary ery object in the narrow cell is too real to admit of doubt or he is the condemned again guilty and and in hours mere will be dead s ii i thoughts about people characters chapter i thoughts about i e with how little ve indifferent a man may i in london he ly in the breast of any on his existence ia a interest to no one save e cannot be said to be hen he dies for no one him when he was class of people metropolis seem ess a single and appears to care for b necessity in the y they hare resorted to of employment and if it is hard break the ties which bind homes and friends and i to the thousand i of happy days and old h have been us for years and only rush ind to bring before with the friends we he scenes we hare beheld f for the time and the ice cherished but may these men however themselves have long for i thoughts old country died or former have b ome lost like in the crowd and turmoil city and they have down into mere of habit and in the of park the other day when la was attracted by a man m a whom we immediately pat down in our own mind as one of this class he was a tall thin pale person black coat scanty gray little pinched up and brown gloves he had an umbrella in his hand not for use for the day was fine but evidently because he always carried one to the office in the morning he walked up and down before me little of grass en which the chairs are placed for hire not sa if he were doing it for pleasure or but as if it were a matter of just aa he would walk to the office every morning from back of it was monday he had escaped for hours from the of the desk and was walking here for
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exercise and perhaps for the first time in his life we were inclined to think he had never had a holiday before and that he did know what to do with were playing on the grass groups of people were about and but the man walked up and down and his spare pale face looking as if it were incapable of bearing hm expression of curiosity or interest there was something in the man s manner and appearance which told us we fancied his whole life or rather his whole day for a man of this sort has no variety of days we thought we almost saw the dingy little office which he walks every hanging his hat on tiie same and hia leg sketches by desk first taking off that black coat which lasts the year through and ou the one which did duty year and which he keeps in his desk to save the other there he sits till five o clock working on all day as regularly as the dial over the whose loud is as monotonous as his whole existence only raising his head when some one enters the counting house or when in the midst of borne difficult calculation he looks up to the ceiling as if there were inspiration in the dusty with a green knot in centre of every pane of glass about five or he slowly from his accustomed stool and again changing his coat proceeds to his usual somewhere near the waiter the bill of fare in a rather confidential manner for he is a regular customer and after ing what s in the best cut and what was up last he orders a small plate of roast beef with and half a pint of porter he has a small plate to day because are a penny more than potatoes and he had yesterday with the additional of a cheese tlie day before this important point settled he hangs up his hat he took it off the moment he sat down and the paper after the next gentleman if he can get it while he is at dinner he eats with much greater zest it against the water bottle eating a bit of beef and a line or two alternately exactly at five minutes before the hour is up he produces a shilling pays the reckoning carefully the change in his first a penny for the waiter and returns to the office from which if it is not foreign post night he again forth in about half an hour he then walks home at his usual pace to his little back room at where he has his tea perhaps himself during the meal with the conversation of his s little boy whom he rewards with a penny for problems in ample addition sometimes there is a letter or two to take up to his employer s in and then the man of business hearing his voice calls out from the dining parlour come in mr smith and mr smith hat at the feet of one of the hall chairs walks timidly in and being desired to sit down carefully his legs under his chair ai sits at a considerable distance from the table while he drinks the glass of which is poured out for him by the eldest boy and after drinking which he backs and out of the room in a state of nervous agitation from which he does not perfectly recover until he finds himself once more in the road poor harmless creatures such men are contented but not happy and they may feel no pain but they never know pleasure compare these men with class of beings who like them have neither friend nor companion whose position in society is the result of their own choice these are generally old fellows with white heads and red faces to port wine and boots who from some cause real or imaginary generally the former the excellent reason being that they are and their relations poor grow suspicious of every body and do the in taking great delight in thinking themselves unhappy and making eveiy body they come near miserable may see such men as these anywhere you will know them at coffee houses by their discontented exclamations and the luxury of their dinners tt theatres by their always sitting in the same place and looking with a eye on all the young people near at church by the with which they enter and tlie loud tone in which they repeat the at parties by then getting cross at and music an old fellow of this kind will have his chambers splendidly furnished and collect books plate and pictures about thoughts about people liim in profusion not so much for his own gratification as to be superior to those who have the desire but not the means to with him he belongs to two or three clubs and is envied and flattered and hated by the members of them all sometimes he will be appealed to by a poor relation a married nephew perhaps for some little assistance and then he will with honest indignation on the of young married people the of a wife the insolence of having a the of getting into debt with a hundred and twenty five pounds a year and other crimes winding up his with a complacent review of his own conduct and a delicate allusion to relief he dies some day after dinner of having his property to a public society and the institution a to his memory expressive of admiration of his christian conduct in this world and their comfortable of his happiness in the next but next to our very particular and whom we admire in proportion to the extent of their cool impudence and perfect self possession there is no class of people who amuse us more than london
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was held at s but getting ol and grand t old too and rather a christmas dinner s j they s and george so the party always takes at george s home hut sends in of the good things and will down all the way to to buy the turkey which he es a porter to bring home behind him in on le man s being rewarded with a glass f spirits over and above ins hire to drink a merry christmas and a happy new year to as to she is vary secret and for two or ee days be bat not sufficiently so to getting afloat that she a new cap with pink ribbons for each of the servants together with sundry books and and pencil for the younger to say nothing of divers ae cr ot to the order originally by aunt at the s such as another of for the dinner and a large for the on christmas eve is always in spirits and ring all the children daring the day in the and all that regularly every year on george coming down the taking off his coat and stirring the for half an hour or so which good to the delight of the children nd servants the evening with a glorious game of in an early stage of which takes great care to in order that he may have an of displaying ins dexterity on the following morning the old with as many of the children as the will hold go to church in great leaving aunt george at home and nd george carrying bottles into the dining parlour and for and getting into everybody s when the church party return to lunch a small of his and the boys to kiss their little under it a affords the boys and the old gentleman unlimited but whidi ideas of decorum until say that when he was just thirteen and three months old he kissed under a too on the children their hands and very heartily as do aunt george and undo george and looks pleased and says with a benevolent smile that was an impudent young dog on which the very heartily again and more heartily than any of them but all these are nothing to the subsequent excitement when in a high cap and silk gown and with a beautifully shirt and white seat themselves oo one side of the drawing room fire with george s children and little innumerable seated in the fronts waiting the arrival of the expected suddenly a coach is beard to stop and undo who has been looking out of we window here s on which the children rush to the door and down stairs and robert and aunt jane and the dear little baby and the nurse and the party are ushered up stairs amidst tumultuous shouts of oh my from the children and frequently repeated not to hurt baby from the and takes the child and kisses her daughter and the of this first entry has scarcely subsided when some other and with cousins arrive and the grown up cousins with each other and so do the little cousins too for that matter and nothing is to be heard but a confused din of talking laughing and a hesitating double knock at the street door heard during a momentary pause in the conversation a general int ol n oa x ao sketches by two or three children who have heen standing at the window announce in a low that it poor aunt mar upon which aunt george leaves the room to welcome the new comer and draws herself up rather stiff and stately for margaret married a poor man without her consent and poverty not a sufficiently punishment for her offence has been discarded by her friends and the society of her dearest relatives but christmas has come round and the unkind feelings that have struggled against better dispositions during the year have melted away before its genial influence like half formed ice beneath the morning sun it is not difficult in a moment of angry feeling for a parent to a child but to banish her at a period of general and from the hearth round which she has sat on so many of the same day by slow degrees from infancy to and then bursting almost into a woman is widely different the air of conscious and cold forgiveness which the old lady has assumed sits ill upon her and when the poor girl is led in by her sister pale in looks and broken in not from poverty for that she could bear but from the consciousness of neglect and it is easy to see how much of it is assumed a momentary pause the girl breaks suddenly from her sister and throws herself sobbing on her mother s neck the father steps hastily forward and takes her husband s hand friends crowd round to offer their hearty congratulations and happiness and harmony again prevail as to the dinner it s perfectly delightful nothing goes wrong and everybody is in the very best of spirits and disposed to please and be pleased a account of the purchase of the with a slight relative to the purchase of previous on former christmas days which in the uncle george tells stories and poultry and takes wine and jokes with the children at the side table and at the cousins that are making love or being made love to and everybody with his good humour and hospitality and when at last a stout servant in with a gigantic with a of in the top there is such a laughing and shouting and clapping of little hands and kicking up of at legs as can only be equalled by the applause with which the astonishing feat of pouring lighted brandy into is received by the younger then the
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and the wine and the fun such beautiful speeches and such songs from aunt margaret s husband who turns out to be such a nice man and to attentive to even not only sings his annual song with vigour but on honoured with an unanimous according to annual custom actually comes out a new one which nobody but ever heard before and a young grace of a cousin who has been in some disgrace with the old people for certain sins of and commission to call and in drinking ale everybody into of laughter by tlie most extraordinary comic that ever were heard and thus the evening passes in a strain of rational good will and cheerfulness doing more to awaken the sympathies of every member of the party in b of neighbour and to their good feeling during the year than half me that liave ever bees written by half the that ever lived the new year chapter the next to christmas day the most pleasant annual epoch in existence is the advent of the new year there are a set of people who in the new year with watching and as if they were bound to attend as chief at the of the old one now we cannot but think it a great deal more complimentary both to the old year that has rolled away and to the new year that b beginning to dawn upon us to sec the old fellow out and the new one in with gaiety and glee there must have been some few in tlie past year to which we can look back with a smile of cheerful recollection if not with a feeling of and we are by every rule of justice and to give the new year credit for being a good one until he proves himself the confidence we repose in him this is our view of the matter and entertaining it notwithstanding our respect for the old year one of the few remaining moments of whose existence passes away with every word we write here we are seated by our fireside on this last night of the old year one thousand eight hundred and thirty six this article as jovial a face as if nothing extraordinary had happened or was about to happen to disturb our good humour and carriages keep rattling up tlie street and down the street in rapid succession conveying doubtless dressed to crowded parties loud and repeated double at the house with green blinds opposite announce to the whole neighbourhood that there s one large party in the street at all events and we saw through the window and through the fog too till it grew so thick that we rung for and drew our curtains men with green boxes on their heads and carts with cane seats and french lamps hurrying to the numerous houses where an annual festival is held in honour of the occasion we can fancy one of these parties we think as well as if we were duly dress and and had just been announced at the drawing room door take the house witli the green blinds for instance we know it is a party because we saw some men taking up the drawing room carpet while we sat at breakfast this morning and if further evidence be required and we must tell the truth we just now saw one of the young ladies doing another of the young ladies hair near one of the bed room windows in an unusual style of splendour which nothing else but a party could possibly justify the master of tlie house with the blinds is in a public office we v the fact by the cut of his coat the tie of his and the of his gait the very green blinds themselves have a house air about them hark a cab that s a junior clerk in the same office a tidy sort of young man with a tendency to cold and who comes in a pair of boots black cloth fronts and brings his shoes in his coat which shoes he is at tliis very moment putting on in the hall now he is announced by the man in tlie passage to another man in a blue coat who is a disguised messenger from the office the man on the first landing him to the drawing room door mr shouts the messenger how are you let i d ft sketches by master of the house from the fire before which he has been talking politics and himself my dear this is mr a courteous salute from the lady of the house my eldest daughter my dear mr my other daughters my son sir his hands very hard and smiles as if it were all capital fun and keeps constantly bowing and turning himself round till the whole family have been introduced when he into a chair at the comer of the sofa and opens a miscellaneous conversation with the young ladies upon the weather and the theatres and the old year and the last new murder and the and the ladies sleeves and the of the season and a great many other topics of small talk more double what an extensive party what an incessant hum of conversation and general of we see now in our mind s eye in uie height of his glory he has just handed that stout old lady s cup to the servant and now he among the crowd of young men by the door to the other servant and secure the plate for the old lady s daughter before he leaves the room and now as he passes the sofa on his way back he a glance of recognition and patronage upon the young ladies as and as if he had known them from infancy charming person mr perfect ladies man such a delightful companion too
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laugh i nobody ever understood papa s jokes half so well as mr who laughs himself into at every fresh burst of most delightful partner talks through the whole set and although he does seem at first rather and frivolous so romantic and with so much quite a love no great favourite with the young men certainly who sneer at and affect to despise him but every body knows that s only envy needn t give themselves the trouble to his merits at any rate for ma says he shall be asked to every future party if it s only to talk to people between the courses and their when there s any unexpected delay in the kitchen at supper mr shows to still greater advantage than he has done throughout the evening and when pa every one to fill their glasses for the purpose of drinking happiness throughout the year mr is o droll on au the young ladies having their filled notwithstanding repeated assurances that they never can by any possibility think of them and subsequently begging permission to say a few words on the sentiment which has been uttered by pa when he makes one of the most brilliant and poetical speeches that can possibly be imagined about the old year and new one after the toast has been drunk and wh i the ladies have retired mr re that every gentleman will do him tlie favour of his glass for he has a toast to propose on whidi all the gentlemen cry hear hear and pass the and mr being informed by tlie master of the house that they are all charged and waiting for his toast rises and to remind the gentlemen present how they have been delighted by the dazzling of elegance and beauty which the exhibited that night and how their senses have charmed and their hearts by the of female loveliness which that room has so recently displayed loud cries of hear much as he would be disposed to the absence of the ladies on other grounds he cannot but derive consolation from the reflection the very circumstance of their not being present him to a toast which he would have other wise been prevented from l that toast he to say tbe the new year the i the of their excellent host are alike for their beauty their and their elegance he them to drain a to the ladies and a happy new year to them prolonged approbation the noise of the ladies dancing the spanish dance among themselves over head is distinctly audible the applause consequent on this toast has scarcely subsided when a gentleman in a sitting towards the bottom of the table is observed to grow very restless and and to indications of some latent desire to give vent to his feelings in a speech which the wary at once perceiving to by speaking he therefore rises again with an sir of solemn importance and he may be permitted to propose another toast approbation and mr proceeds he is sore they must all be deeply impressed with the he may say the splendour with which they have been that received by their worthy host sod hostess unbounded applause although this is the first occasion on which he has had the pleasure and of sitting at that board he has known his friend long and intimately he has been connected with him in business he wishes every present knew as well as lie does a cough from the host he can lay his hand s heart and declare his confident belief that a better man a better husband a better father a better brother a better son a better relation in any relation of life than never existed loud cries of hear they have seen him in the peaceful bosom of his family they should see him in the morning in the trying duties of his office calm in the perusal of the morning papers in the of his name dignified in his replies to the inquiries of s tr an in his behaviour to his majestic in his to the messengers cheers when he bears this testimony to the excellent qualities of his friend what can he say in approaching such a subject as mis is it requisite for him to on the qualities of that amiable woman i no he will spare his friend s feelings he will spare the feelings of his friend if he will allow him to have the honour of calling him so mr junior here mr junior who has been previously his mouth to a considerable width by thrusting a particularly fine orange into that feature operations and a proper appearance of intense melancholy he will say and he is quite it is a sentiment in which all who hear him will readily that his friend is as superior to any man ho ever knew as mrs is far any woman he ever saw except her daughters and he will conclude by proposing their worthy host and hostess and may ihey live to enjoy many more new years the toast is drunk with returns thanks and the whole party the ladies in the young men who were too to dance before find tongues and partners ae exhibit symptoms of having drunk the new year in while the company were out and dancing is kept up until far in uie first morning of the new year we have scarcely written the last word of the previous sentence when the first stroke of twelve from the neighbouring churches there certainly we must confess it now is something awful in the sound strictly speaking it be more impressive now than st any other time for the hours steal as swiftly on at other periods and their flight is but we measure man s life by and it is a solemn that us we
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have t sketches by marks which stand us and i arrival of a new year we be grave disguise it as we may the sensible alike of the warning we reflection will force itself on our minds have so often neglected and of all the that when the next bell the warm feelings that glow within ns now chapter iv miss the eagle mr samuel was a carpenter a carpenter of small dimensions decidedly below the middle size perhaps upon tlie his face was round and shining and his hair carefully into the outer comer of each eye till it formed a variety of that description of semi curls usually known as his were for his wants varying from eighteen shillings to one pound five weekly his manner his sabbath dazzling no wonder that with these samuel found favour in tlie eyes of the other sex many women liave been by far less substantial but samuel was proof against their until at length his eyes rested on those of a being for whom from that time forth he felt fate had destined him he came and conquered proposed and was loved and was beloved kept with miss or to adopt the most in with her circle of acquaintance had adopted in early life the useful pursuit of to which she had afterwards the occupation of a maker herself her maternal parent and two sisters formed an harmonious in the most secluded portion of town and here it was that mr presented himself one monday afternoon in his best with his more shining and more bright than had ever appeared before the were just going to tea and were glad to see him it was quite a feast two of seven and green and a quarter of a of the best fresh and mr had brought a pint of folded up in a to give a zest to tlie meal and mrs was cleaning self up stairs so mr samuel sat down and talked economy with mrs whilst the two youngest miss of lighted brown paper between the bars under the kettle to make the water boil for tea i a thinking said mr samuel during a pause in the con i a thinking of taking j to the eagle to night my i exclaimed mrs lor how nice said the youngest weu i added tiie youngest miss but one j to put on her white screamed mrs with anxiety and down came j herself soon afterwards in t white muslin gown carefully and eyed a little red shawl fully pinned a white straw bonnet trimmed with red ribbons a small a pair of satin shoes and open worked stockings white cotton on her fin rs and a carefully folded up in hand all quite genteel and and away went miss mid samuel and a miss and the eagle a gilt at the top to and of the street and to the high gratification l and the two in particular they had er turned into the road ho should miss j e upon by the most fortunate it in the world but a young lady new with her young man and strange how things do turn out they were actually going eagle too so mr was introduced to miss j friend s young man and they all on together talking and joking away like any thing they got as far as s friend young man hare the ladies go into the to taste some which i great blushing and ling of faces in elaborate they consented to do tasted it once they were easily ed upon to taste it again and t out in the garden and at the it was just the proper time to le eagle and then they resumed and walked very fast for ey should lose the beginning of in the w ey i said ind miss s friend t once when had passed te and were fairly inside the a there were the walks and planted and the boxes painted and like so many snuff boxes and lamps shedding their e company s heads be place for dancing ready i for the company s feet and a ih band playing at one end of and an opposition playing away at the other the were to and b glasses of and of and water and bottles of ale of stout and beer ing off in one place and practical were going on in another and were crowding to the door of the and in short the whole scene was as miss j inspired by uie or the or both observed one of dazzling excitement as to the concert room never was any thing half so splendid there was an for the singers all paint and plate glass and an organ miss j s friend s young man whispered it had cost four hundred pound which mr samuel said was not dear neither an opinion in which the ladies perfectly the audience were seated on elevated benches round the room and crowded into every part of it and every body was eating and drinking as comfortably as possible just before the con commenced mr samuel ordered two glasses of rum and water warm with and two of for himself and the other young man together with a pint o wine for the ladies and some sweet and they would have been quite comfortable and happy only a strange gentleman with whiskers to ud stare at miss j and another gentleman in a waistcoat would wink at miss j s friend on which miss j s friend s young man exhibited symptoms of boiling over and began to about people s and out o luck and to intimate in terms a vague intention of knocking somebody s head off which he was only prevented from announcing more emphatically by both
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haired man in a brown reaching nearly to his heels who took a at hia v sketches by an admiring glance at the red faced man alternately very extraordinary said the light haired man after a pause of minutes a murmur of assent ran through the company not at all extraordinary not at all said the red faced man awakening suddenly from his and turning upon the light haired man the moment he had spoken why should it be extraordinary t why is it extraordinary prove it to be extraordinary oh if you come to that said the light haired man meekly come to that the man with the red face but we come to that we stand in these times upon a calm elevation of intellectual and not in the dark recess of mental proof is what i require proof and not in these stirring times every gen n that knows me knows what was the nature and effect of my observations when it was in the contemplation of the old street representative discovery society to recommend a candidate for that place in there i forget the name of it mr said mr is a fit and proper person to represent the m parliament prove it says i he is a friend to reform says mr prove it says i the of tlie national debt the opponent of tlie advocate of the negro the of and the duration of the of nothing but the of the people says mr prove it says i his acts prove it says he prove them says i and he could not prove them said the red faced man looking round triumphantly and the didn t have him and if you carried this principle to uie full extent you d have no debt no no no np nothing and then standing upon an elevation of and having reached summit of prosperity fo i might bid defiance to the nations of the earth nd erect yourselves in the proud confidence of wisdom and superiority this is my this always has been my and if i was a member of uie house of to morrow i d make em shake in their shoes with it and tiie red faced man having struck the table very hard his clenched fist to add weight to the declaration smoked away like a well said the sharp man in a very slow and soft voice addressing the company in general i do say that of all the gentlemen i have the pleasure of meeting in this room there is not one whose i like to hear so much as mr s or who is such improving company improving company said mr for that it seemed was the name of the red faced man you may say i am improving company for i ve improved you all to some purpose though as to my conversation being as my friend mr here describes it that is not for me to say anything about yon gentlemen are the best judges on that point bnt this i will say when i came into this parish and first used this room ten years ago i don t believe there was one man in it who knew he was a slave and now you all know it and under it that upon my tomb and i am satisfied why as to it on your tomb said a little with a face of course you can have anything up as yon likes to pay for so far as it relates to yourself and your affairs but when you come to talk about and that there abuse you d better keep it in the family i for one don t like to be called them night after night you are a slave said the man and the most pitiable of all slaves hard if i am interrupted the for i got no good out of the twenty million that was paid for any how a willing slave ejaculated the parlour orator red faced man getting more red with eloquence and contradiction the dearest of your the sacred call of liberty who standing before you appeals to the warmest feelings of your heart and points to your helpless but in vain prove it said the prove it i sneered the man with the red face what bending beneath the yoke of an insolent and bowed down by the of cruel laws groaning beneath tyranny and oppression on every hand at every side and in every comer prove it the red man abruptly broke off sneered and buried his countenance and his indignation together in a pot ah to be sure mr said a stout in a large waistcoat who had kept his eyes fixed on this all the time he was speaking ah to be sure said the with a sigh that s the of course of course said divers members of the company o understood almost as much ab ut the matter as the himself you had better let him alone said the by way of advice to the little he can tell what s o clock by an eight day without looking at the minute hand he can try it on on some other suit it won t do wi him what is a man continued the red faced specimen of the species his hat indignantly from its on the wall what is an englishman i is he to be trampled upon by every is he to be knocked down at everybody s bidding what s freedom not a standing army what s a standing army not freedom what s general happiness not universal misery liberty ain t the window tax is it the lords ain i the are they and the red faced man gradually bursting into a sentence in which such as oppressive violent and formed the most conspicuous words knocked his hat
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tobacco smoke they were introduced is and after one had complained bitterly of the x ld and the other of the of news in the evening paper it was that the patient was prepared and we were conducted to the ward in which she was lying the dim light which burnt in the room increased rather than the ghastly appearance of lie creatures in the beds were ranged in two long rows m either side in one bed lay a child in with its body consumed by fire in another a rendered hideous by some accident was wildly beating her fists on the in pain on a third there lay stretched a young girl apparently in the heavy stupor often the immediate of death her face was stained with blood and her breast and were bound up in folds of two or three of tiie beds were empty and their recent were sitting beside them but with faces so wan and eyes so bright and that it was fearful to meet their on every was stamped the of anguish and suffering the object of the visit was lying at the upper of the room e was a fine woman of about two or three and twenty her long black hair which had been hastily cut from near the wounds on her head streamed over the pillow in jagged and locks her face bore deep marks of the ill usage she had received her hand was pressed upon her side as if her chief pain were there her breathing was short and heavy and it was plain to see that she was dying fast she murmured a few words in reply to the magistrate s inquiry whether she was in great pain and having been raised on the pillow by the nurse looked upon the strange countenances that surrounded her bed the magistrate nodded to the officer to bring the man forward he did so and stationed him at the bedside the girl looked on with a wild and troubled expression of face but her sight was dim and did not know him take off his hat said the magistrate the officer did as he was desired and the man s features were disclosed the girl started up with an energy quite the fire gleamed in her heavy eyes and the blood rushed to her pale and sunken cheeks it was a effort she fell back upon her pillow and covering her and bruised face with her hands burst into tears the man cast an anxious look towards her but otherwise i sketches by after a brief pause the nature of their errand was explained and the oath oh no gentlemen said the girl raising herself once more and folding her together no gentlemen for god s sake i did it myself it nobody s fault it was an accident he didn t hurt me he wouldn t for all the world jack dear jack you know you wouldn t i her sight was fast failing her and her hand over the in search of his brute as the man was he was not prepared for this he turned his face from the bed and sobbed the girl s colour changed and her breathing grew more difficult she was evidently dying we respect the feelings which prompt you to this said the gentleman who had spoken first but let me warn you not to persist in what yon know to be until it is too late it cannot save him jack murmured the girl laying her hand upon his arm they shall not persuade me to swear life away he didn t do it gentlemen he never hurt me she g his arm tightly and added in a broken whisper i hope god will forgive me all the wrong i have done and the life have led bless you jack some kind gentleman take my love to my poor old father five years ago he said he wished i had died a child oh wish i had i wish i had the nurse bent over the girl i ff a few seconds and then w the sheet over her lace it covered s corpse attachment op mr john chapter vii the of mb john if we bad to make a of society there are a particular kind of men whom we should immediately set down under the head of old boys and a column of most extensive the old boys would require to what precise causes the rapid advance of old boy population is to be traced we are unable to it would be an interesting and curious speculation but as we have not sufficient space to devote to it here we simply state the t that the numbers of the old boys have been gradually within the last few years and that they are at this moment on the increase upon a general review of the subject and without considering it in detail we should be disposed to the old boys into two distinct classes the gay old boys and the steady old boys the gay old boys are m men in the disguise of young ones who frequent the and street in the day time the theatres especially theatres under lady management at night and who assume all the and levity of boys without the excuse of youth or the steady old boys are certain i out old gentlemen of clean appearance who are always to be seen in the same at the same hours every evening smoking and drinking in the same company there was once a fine collection of old boys to be seen round the circular table at s every night between the hours of half past eight and eleven we have lost sight of them for some time there were and still for aught we know two splendid specimens in full blossom at toe rainbow tavern in fleet street who
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always used to sit in the box nearest the fire place and smoked long cherry stick pipes which went under the table with the resting on the floor grand old boys they were fat red faced old fellows always there one on one side the table and tlie other opposite puffing and drinking away in great state every body knew them and it was supposed by some people that they were both immortal mr john was an old boy of the latter class we don t mean immortal but steady a retired glove and maker a resident with three daughters all grown up and all unmarried in street lane he was a short round large faced sort of man with a broad hat and a square coat and had that grave but confident kind of roll peculiar to old boys in general regular as breakfast at dress and a little down to the sir somebody s head glass of ale and the paper come back and take daughters out for a walk dinner at glass of and nap tea uttle walk sir somebody s head again capital delight ful evenings there were mr the law and mr the robe maker two jolly young fellows like himself and jones the s clerk rum fellow that jones capital company full of anecdote and there they sat every night till lust ten minutes before twelve drinking their brandy and water and smoking their pipes and telling stories and enjoying themselves with a kind of particularly sometimes jones would a half price visit to lame or garden to see two of a five act n e by or a on which the whole four of them went together none of your hurrying and nonsense but having their brandy and water first comfortably and ordering a and some for their supper against they came back and then walking coolly into the pit when the had gone in as all sensible people do and did when mr was a young man except when the celebrated master was at the height of his popularity and then sir mr perfectly well remembered getting a holiday from business and going to the pit doors at eleven o clock in the and waiting there till six in the afternoon with some in a and some wine in a and fainting after all with the heat and fatigue before the play began in which situation he was lifted out of the pit into one of the dress boxes sir by five of the finest women i that day sir who his and administered and sent a black servant six foot high in and silver livery next morning with their compliments and to know how he found himself sir by g between the acts mr and mr and mr used to stand up and look round the house and jones knowing fellow that jones knew everybody pointed mt the fashionable and celebrated lady so and so in the boxes at the mention of whose name mr after brushing up his hair and ad his would inspect the lady so and so through an immense glass and remark either that she was a fine woman very fine woman indeed or that there might be a little more of her eh jones just aa the ease night happen to be when the dancing began john and the other old boys were anxious to see what was going forward oa the stage and dog that jones red httle critical into the ears of john which john to mr and mr to mr and then they all four laughed until the tears ran down out of their eyes when the curtain fell they walked back together two and two to the and and when they came to the glass of water jones that used to bow he had observed a lady in white heathen ia one of the pit boxes gazing on mr au the evening and how he had caught mr he thought no one was at him ardent looks of devotion on die lady in an which mr and mr used to laugh very and more heartily than either cf them acknowledging however that the time had been when he done things upon which mr jones used to him in the ribs and tell he had been a sad dog in his time john with confessed and after mr and mr had their to the of having been sad dogs toe they separated and trotted home tlie of fate and the by which they are brought about are mysterious and john had led this life for twenty years and upwards without wish for change or care for when whole social r was upset and turned completely not by an earthquake or other dreadful of as the reader would be inclined to suppose but by the simple agency of as and thus it happened mr john was one night from the sir somebody s head to his in street not but rather for it was mr s birthday and they had had a of for supper and a brace of extra afterwards and jones bad been than hit eyes rested on a newly opened on a ma scale with attachment op mb john t b laid one deep in circular marble in the windows with little barrels of directed to and and and every part of the globe behind the were the barrels and behind the barrels was a young lady of about fire and twenty all in and all alone splendid face and lovely figure it is to say whether mr john s red countenance illuminated as it was by the flickering gas light in window before which he paused excited the lady s or whether a of
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animal spirits proved too much for that of which the of society but certain it is that the lady smiled then pot her finger upon her lip with a striking recollection of what was due to and finally retired in hke to the very of the counter the sad dog sort of feeling came strongly upon john i he lingered the lady in made no sign he still she came not he entered the shop can you open me an my dear said mr john dare say i can sir replied the lady in blue with and mr john eat one and then looked at the young lady and then eat another and then squeezed the young lady s hand as she was opening the third and so forth until he had devoured a dozen of those at in less than no time can you open me half a dozen more my dear i inquired mr john i ll see what i can do for you air replied the young lady in blue even more than before and mr john ate half a dozen more of those at yon couldn t to get me a glass of brandy and water my dear i suppose said mr john when he had finished the in a tone which clearly implied his supposition that she could i see ir said the young lady i and away ran out of the shop and down the street her long shaking in the wind in the most manner and back she came again over the uke a top a of brandy and water mr john insisted on her taking a share of as it was ladies hot strong sweet and plenty of it so the young lady sat down with mr john in a little red box with a green curtain and took a small of the brandy nd water and a small look at mr john and then turned her head away and went through various other which forcibly reminded mr john of the first time he his first wife and which made him feel more affectionate than ever in of which affection and by which feeling mr john sounded the young lady on her matrimonial engagements when the young lady having formed any such engagements at all she couldn t the men they were such thereupon mr john inquired whether this sweeping condemnation was meant to include than very young men on which tiie young lady blushed deeply at least she turned away her head and said mr john had made her blush so of course she did blush and mr john was a long time drinking the brandy and at last john went home to bed and dreamed of his first wife and his second fe and the young lady and and and brandy and water and disinterested the next morning john was rather feverish with the extra brandy and water of the previous night and partly in the hope of himself with an and partly with the view of whether he owed the young lady any thing or not went back to the if the young v a w i sketches by hy night she was perfectly irresistible by day and from this time forward a change came over the spirit of john s dream he bought wore a ring on liis third finger read poetry a cheap miniature painter to a faint resemblance to a youthful face with a curtain over his head six large books in the background and an open country in the distance this he called his portrait went on altogether in such an manner that the three miss went off on small he having made the in street too warm to contain them and in short and himself in every respect like an old as he was as to his ancient friends the other old boys at the sir somebody s head he dropped off from them by gradual degrees for even when he did go there jones vulgar fellow that jones persisted in asking when it was to be and whether he was to have any gloves together with other inquiries of an equally offensive nature at which not only laughed but so he cut the two altogether and attached himself solely to the blue young lady at the smart shop now comes the moral of the for it has a moral after all the last mentioned young lady derived sufficient profit and from john s attachment not refused when matters came to a to take him for better for worse but expressly declared to use her own forcible words tliat she wouldn t have him at no price and john having lost his old friends his relations and rendered himself ridiculous to everybody made offers to a a landlady a feminine and a housekeeper and being directly rejected by each and every of them was accepted by his cook whom he now lives a husband a melancholy monument of misery and a living warning to all old boys the chapter viii thk tale of ambition miss martin was and two and thirty what ill people would call plain and police reports interesting she was a and living on her business and not above it if you had been a young lady in service and bad wanted miss martin is a ladies in service did you would just have stepped up in uie evening to number forty seven street square and after casting your eye on a brass door plate one foot ten by one and a half ornamented with a great brass at each of the four comers and bearing the inscription miss martin and in all its branches you d just have knocked two loud at uie street door and would have come miss martin herself in a gown of the fashion black velvet on the principle and other little
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upon a lady and the right being miss martin favour the a proposal met with unanimous w miss martin alter tow va with a the mistaken or two and an that she was to death to attempt it judges of the art a species f frequent allusions to some gentleman of the name of hen e iy reference to madness and broken hearts mr y frequently the progress of the song by ting charming brilliant oh i splendid ac and at its dose the admiration of himself and his lady knew no did you ever bear so sweet a my dear inquired mr of mr never indeed i never did love mrs don t yon think miss martin with a little cultivation would be very uke my dear asked mr exactly the very thing that struck me my love answered mrs and the time passed away mr played tunes on a walking and then went the parlour door and gave his celebrated of and animals miss martin sang several other songs with increased admiration every time and even the funny old gentleman began singing his song had properly seven verses but as he couldn t recollect more than the first one he sang that over seven times apparently very much to his own personal gratification and then all the company sang tlie national with national independence each for himself without reference to the other and finally separated all declaring they never had spent so pleasant an evening and miss martin inwardly to adopt the advice of mr and to come out without delay now coming out either in acting or singing or society or or au else is all very well and remarkably pleasant to the individual principally if he or she can but manage to out with a burst and being out to keep and not go in again bat it does unfortunately happen that both are extremely difficult to accomplish and that the of getting out at all in the first instance and if you them of o t in the second are pretty much on a par and no slight ones either and so miss martin shortly discovered it is a fact there being ladies in the case that miss martin s principal was vanity and the leading of mrs an to dress dismal were heard to issue from the second floor front of number forty seven street george street it was miss martin ing half murmurs disturbed the dignity of the white at the commencement of the season it was the appearance of mrs in full dress that occasioned them miss studied incessantly the was the consequence mrs taught now and the dresses were the result weeks passed away the white season had begun had and was more than half over the business had fallen from neglect and its profits had away almost a benefit night approached mr yielded to the earnest of miss martin and introduced her personally to the comic gentleman whose benefit it was the comic gentleman was all smiles and he had composed a expressly for the occasion and miss martin should sing it witli him the night arrived there was an immense room ninety seven of gin and water small glasses of brandy five and twenty and forty one and tlie ornamental painter s with hia wife and a e iv ix l ki a r sketches by ance were seated at one of the near the the concert began song by a young gentleman in a blue coat and bright basket buttons applause another song doubtful by another gentleman in another blue coat and more bright basket buttons increased applause mr and mrs red ui retire great applause miss positively on this occasion only i am a enthusiasm original comic mr h the comic gentleman and miss martin the time of day vo i cried the ornamental painter s s party as miss martin was led in by the comic gentleman go to work harry cried the comic gentleman s personal friends tap tap tap went the leader s bow on the music desk the began and was soon afterwards followed by a faint kind of proceeding apparently from tlie deepest recesses of the interior of miss martin sing out shouted one gentleman in a white great coat don t be afraid to put the steam on old exclaimed s s b b s s s went the five and twenty shame shame remonstrated the ornamental painter s s party s s s went the again accompanied by all the and a majority of the turn them out cried the ornamental painter s s party with great indignation sing out whispered mr so i do responded miss martin sing louder said mrs i can t replied miss martin off off off cried the rest of the audience vo i shouted the painters party it wouldn t do miss martin left the with much less ceremony than she had entered it and as she couldn t sing out came out the general good humour was not restored until mr had become purple in the face by divers for half an hour without being able to render himself audible and to this day neither has miss s good humour been restored nor the dresses made for and presented to mrs nor the abilities which mr once his professional reputation that miss martin possessed the dancing academy chapter ix thb of all the dancing that ever were established there never was one more popular in its immediate vicinity than bill of the king s theatre it was not in spring gardens or street or or street or street or street or any other of the numerous streets which have
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been devoted time out of mind to people and boarding houses it was not in the west end at all it rather to the eastern portion of london being situated in the and improving neighbourhood of gray inn lane it was not a dear dancing academy four and a quarter is decidedly cheap upon the whole it was very select the number of pupils being strictly limited to seventy five and a quarter s payment in advance being rigidly there was public and private an assembly room and a parlour s family were always thrown in with the parlour and included in parlour price that is to say a private pupil had s parlour to dance tn and s family to dance with and when he had been sufficiently broken in in the parlour he began to run in couples in the assembly room such was the dancing academy of when mr c x per of lane first saw an advertisement walking leisurely down hill announcing to the world that of the king s theatre intended opening for the season with a grand ball now mr was in the oil and colour line just of age with a little money a little business and a little who having managed her husband and hie business in his lifetime took to managing her son and his after his and so somehow or other he had been up in the little back parlour the shop on week days and in a little deal box without a lid called by courtesy a at chapel on sundays and had seen no more of the world than if he had been an infant au his days whereas young white at the gas s over the way three years younger than him had been away like going to the theatre at meetings eating by the barrel drinking stout by the even stopping out all night and coming home as cool in the morning as if nothing had happened so mr made up his mind that he would not stand it any longer and had that very morning expressed to his mother a firm determination to be in the event of his not being instantly provided with a key and he was walking down hill thinking about all these things and wondering how he could manage to get introduced into genteel society for the first time when his eyes rested on s announcement which it immediately struck him was just the very thing he wanted for he should not only be able to select a genteel circle of acquaintance out of the five and seventy pupils at four and sixpence a quarter but should himself at the same time to go through a in private society with perfect ease to himself and great delight to his friends so he stopped the advertisement an animated composed of a boy between two boards and having procured a very small card with the s address walked straight at once to the s house and very last he walked too l ax s sketches bt should be filled up and the five completed before he got there the was at home and what was still more gratifying he was an englishman i such a nice man and so polite the list was not full but it was a most extraordinary that there was only just one and even that one would have been filled up that ery morning only was dissatisfied with and being very much afraid that the lady wasn t select wouldn t take her d delighted i am mr said did not take her i you i say it to flatter you for i know you re above it that i fortunate in having a gentleman rf your manners and appearance sir i am very glad of it too sir said and i hope we shall be better acquainted sir said and i m sure i hope we shall too sir responded just then the door opened and in came a young lady with her hair curled in a crop all over her head and her shoes tied in all over her ankles don t run away my dear said for the young lady didn t know mr was there when she ran in and was going to run out again in her modesty all in confusion like run away my dear said this is mr mr of mr my daughter sir miss sir who i hope will have the pleasure of dancing many a and with yon sir she them all sir so shall you sir before you re a quarter older sir and mr on the back as if he had known him a years so friendly and mr bowed to the lady and the young lady ed to um and said they were as ha pair as ever he d wish to i which the young lady pa and blushed as red himself you thought they were both stand a red lamp at a s e before mr went settled that he join t tiiat very night just as they were no earn nonsense of that kind and positions in order that he i no time and be able to come w mr away to one of the cheap shops in ge dress are seven and and men s strong walking at all and pair of tl seven and long town in which he a quite as much as and forth to bi there were four other in the parlour two ladies gentlemen such nice a bit of pride about them ladies in particular who was ing for a was re and she and miss took such an interest in mr and and so looked so that be at home and learnt his steps i after the was ov and miss
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master and a jt and the two and the t men danced a slipping and sliding about bi warm work flying into among and at the door something in his having a k to play all the time was of landing every figure and mj when every body breathless danced a cane in his hand and a ch on his head to the tion of the whole the academy ere bo that thej should all to supper and proposed for the beer aod whereupon the two f strike em if they d and that and were just going who should pay for it when er said he would if d have the to allow him aiid they had the kindness to allow im and master brought le beer in a can and the rum in pot they had a regular night f it and miss squeezed r s hand under le table and mr the squeeze and returned ome too at something to six o clock i tho morning when he was put to d by force by the repeatedly an desire to pitch his out of the second floor window id to the with his wn neck handkerchief weeks had worn on and the had nearly om out when the night arrived for le grand dress ball at which the whole i we and seventy pupils were to together for the first time that and to take out some portion of respective four and in oil and mr had ordered a new coat for the a two pound from it was his first appearance i public and after a grand by fourteen young ladies i character he was to open the department with miss herself with whom he had quite intimate since his first it w u a night every ling was admirably arranged the boy took ihe hats and at the street door there was a im up in the back parlour n which miss made tea ad coffee for such of the gentlemen b chose to pay for it and such of the as the gentlemen treated red wine and were round at eighteen pence a and in of a previous engagement with the house at the comer of the street an extra was laid on for the occasion la short nothing could exceed the arrangements except the company such ladies such pink silk stockings i such artificial flowers i such a her of no sooner had one cab set down a couple of ladies than another cab drove up and set down another couple of ladies and they all knew not only one another but the majority of the gentlemen into the ba in which made it all as pleasant and lively as could be in black with a large blue bow in his introduced the ladies to such of the gentlemen as were strangers and the ladies talked away and laughed they did it was delightful to see them as to the shawl dance it was the most exciting thing that ever was beheld there was such a and rustling and and getting ladies into a with artificial flowers and then them again and as to mr s share in the he got through it admirably he was missing from his partner now and then certainly and discovered on such occasions to be either dancing with perseverance in another set or sliding about in perspective without any definite object bu generally speaking they managed to him through the figure until he turned up in ie right place be this as it may when he finished a great many ladies and gentlemen came up and him very much and said they had never seen a do anything like it before and mr was perfectly satisfied with himself and every body else into the bargain and stood considerable quantities of spirits and for the use and of two or three dozen very particular friends selected from the select circle of five and seventy pupils now whether it was the strength of the or tb sketches by ladies or what not it did so that mr encouraged rather than e very flattering attentions of a young lady in brown oyer white who had appeared particularly struck with him m m the first and when the had been prolonged for time miss betrayed her spite and jealousy by calling the young lady in brown a which induced young lady in brown to retort in certain sentences containing a founded on the payment of sixpence a quarter which reference mr being then and there in a state of considerable bewilderment expressed his entire in miss thus forthwith began screaming in the loi key of her voice at the rate of fourteen screams a minute and being unsuccessful in an on the eyes and ce first of the lady in and then of mr called on the other and seventy pupils to furnish her with for her own private drinking and the call not being honoured made another rush at mr and then had her stay lace cut and was carried off to bed mr not being remarkable for quickness of apprehension was at a loss to understand what all this meant until ex it in a most satisfactory manner by stating to the pupils that mr had made and confirmed divers promises of marriage to his daughter on divers occasions and had now deserted her oo which the indignation of the pupils became universal and as gentlemen inquired rather of mr whether he required anything for his own use or in other words whether he wanted any thing for himself he deemed it prudent to make a retreat and the of the matter was that a s letter came next day and an action was commenced next week and that mr after walking twice to uie for the purpose of drowning himself and coming twice back without doing it made a of his mother
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whether he really was dead or had only been arrested when our conjectures were suddenly set at rest by the entry of the he had gone some strange and walked up the centre of the room with an air which showed he was fully conscious of the improvement in his appearance it was very odd his clothes were a fine deep glossy black and yet they looked like the same suit nay there were the very with which old acquaintance bad us familiar the hat too could mistake the shape of that hat with its high crown gradually ing in towards tiie top long service had imparted to it a brown tint but now it was as black as tiie coat the truth suddenly upon us they had been it is a that black and blue we have watched its effects on many a man it its victims into a temporary assumption of importance possibly into the purchase of a new pair of gloves or a stock or some other trifling of dress it their spirits for a week only to them if possible their original level it was so in this case the transient dignity of tile unhappy man in exact tion as the wore off the knees of the and the elbows of the coat and the generally soon began to get white the hat was once more deposited under the table and its owner cr t into his seat as quietly as ever there was a week of incessant small rain and mist at its the had entirely vanished and the genteel man never afterwards attempted to effect any improvement in his outward appearance it would be difficult to name particular part of town as the principal resort of shabby genteel men we have met a great many of this description in the neighbour hood of the of court they may be met with in eight and ten any morning and whoever has the curiosity to enter the court will observe both among spectators and a l of them we never shabby people went on change by any chance without seeing some shabby genteel men and we have often wondered what earthly business they can hare there they will sit there for hours leaning on great or eating nobody to them nor they to any one on consideration we remember to hare seen two men together on c but our experience us that this is an uncommon occasioned by the ofi r of a pinch of snuff or some such civility it would be a task of equal either to any particular spot for tiie residence of these beings or to endeavour to their general occupations we were never engaged in business with more than one man and he was a and lived in a damp in a new row of houses at town half street half somewhere near the canal a shabby genteel man may have no occupation or he may be a com agent or a coal agent or a wine agent or a of debts or a s assistant or a broken down attorney he may be a of the lowest description or a to the press of the same grade whether our readers have noticed these men in their walks often a we have we know not this tiiat the miserably poor man no matter owes his to his own conduct or that of others who feels his poverty and vainly to conceal it is one of the most pitiable objects in human nature such objects with few exceptions are shabby genteel people sketches by chapter xi night of it and were undoubtedly good fellows in their way the former for his extreme readiness to ut in special for a friend and the for a certain like in turning up just in the nick of time less remarkable many points in their character have however grown are rather to find in these days of imprisonment for debt except the sham ones and they cost half a crown and as to the the few that haye existed in these times have had an unfortunate of making themselves scarce at the very moment when their appearance would have been strictly if the actions of these heroes however can find no parallel in modem times their friendship can we have and on the one hand we have and on the other and lest the two last mentioned names should never have reached the ears of our readers we can do no better than make acquainted with the owners thereof mr thomas then was a clerk in the city and mr robert was a in the same were limited but their friendship was unbounded they lived in the same street walked into town every morning at the same hour dined at the same slap bang every day and in each other s company every night they were knit by the ties of intimacy and friendship or as mr thomas observed they were thick and thin and nothing but it there was a of romance in mr s disposition a ray of poetry a gleam of misery a sort of consciousness of he didn t know what coming across him he didn t precisely know why which stood out in fine relief the dashing amateur sort of manner which mr in an eminent degree the peculiarity of their dispositions extended itself to individual costume mr ge appeared in public in a and shoes with a narrow black chief and hat much up at the sides mr wholly for his ambition to do something in th celebrated or stage coach and be had even gone so far aa to capital in the purchase of a rough coat with wooden buttons made the s principle in which wit the addition of a low crowned pot shaped hat he had no sensation at the ai in street and other places of public and resort
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mr and mr ha agreed that on the of their salary they wool and in company id evening an evident th spending applying as everybody not to the evening itself but to all money the individual may chance be possessed of on the occasion to reference is made and they had agreed that on the evening they would make a night of it a expressive term the ing of several hours from to morning adding them to the before and a night of the whole the quarter day arrived at w say at last because quarter days are t eccentric as moving fully quick when you have a good to pay and slow you have a little to receive mr and mr robert m by ap to begin the making a night of it ft dinner and a nice comfortable dinner they had consisting of a little procession of four and four following each other supported on either side by a pot of the real draught stout and attended by divers cushions of bi ad and of cheese when the doth was removed mr thomas ordered the waiter to bring in two goes of his best scotch with warm water and sugar and a couple of his very which the waiter did mr thomas mixed his and lighted his cigar mr robert did the same and then mr thomas proposed as the first toast the of all offices whatever not but which was immediately drunk by mr robert with enthusiastic applause so they went on talking politics puffing cigars and key and water until the goes most so called were both gone which mr robert perceiving immediately ordered in two more goes of the best scotch and two more of the very and the goes kept coming in and the mild kept going ou until what with the drinking and lighting and puffing and the stale ashes on the table and the on the cigars mr robert began to doubt the of tlie and to feel very much as if he had been sitting in a coach with his back to the horses as to mr thomas he keep laughing out loud and ing inarticulate that he was all right in proof of which he feebly the evening paper after the next gentleman but finding it a matter of some difficulty to discover any news in its columns or to ascertain distinctly whether it had any columns at all walked slowly out to look for the moon and after coming back quite pale with looking up at the sky so long and attempting to express mirth at mr robert having fallen asleep by various laid bis head on bis arm and went to sleep also when he awoke again mr robert awoke too and they both very gravely agreed that it was extremely unwise to eat so many with the as it was a notorious fact that they always made people queer and sleepy indeed if it had not been for the and cigars there was no knowing what harm they t have done em so they took some coffee and after pa ring the bill twelve and the dinner and the odd for the waiter thirteen shillings in all started out on their expedition to manufacture a night it was just half past eight so they thought they couldn t do better than go at half price to the slips at the city theatre which they did accordingly mr robert who had become extremely poetical after the settlement of the the walk by informing mr thomas in that he felt an inward of approaching dissolution and subsequently the theatre by falling asleep with his head and both arms gracefully over the front of the boxes such was the quiet of the and such were the happy effects of scotch and on that interesting son i but mr thomas whose great aim it was to be considered as a knowing card a fast and so forth conducted himself in a very different manner and commenced going very fast indeed rather too fast at last for the patience of the audience to keep pace with him on his first entry he contented himself by earnestly calling upon the gentlemen in the gallery to up accompanying the demand with another request expressive of his wish that they would form a union both which were responded to in the manner most in on such occasions give that dog a bone t cried one gentleman in his shirt sleeves where have you been a having half a pint oc vm sketches by cried a second tailor screamed a third s shouted a fourth ver a fifth while voices in desiring mr thomas to go home to his mother ah these mr thomas with supreme t the low crowned hat a little more on one side any reference was made to his appearance and standing up with arms a defiance the to which various sounds had been an ad accompaniment piece began and mr thomas by proceeded to behave in a most and outrageous manner first of all he the shake of the principal female singer then groaned at the fire then to be frightened into of terror at the appearance of the ghost and not only made a running in an audible voice upon the dialogue on the stage but actually awoke mr robert who hearing his companion making a noise and having a very indistinct notion where he was or what was required of him immediately by way of a good example set up the most and appalling howling tliat ever audience heard it was too turn them out i was the general cry a noise as of shuffling of net and men being knocked up with violence against was heard a hurried dialogue of come out i won t yon i shan
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t give me your card sir you re a scoundrel sir and so forth succeeded a round of n the approbation of the audience and mr robert and mr thomas fraud themselves shot with astonishing swiftness into the road without having had the trouble of once putting foot to ground during the whole e es of their rapid descent mr robert being one of the slow and quite t in the course of his recent to last until the quarter day then next at the veiy liad no sooner emerged with his companion from the of milton street than he p r oc ee to in to the beauties of sleep mingled with distant allusions to tiie propriety of to and the influence of their patent oi er the street door locks to which they belonged mr thomas however was and they had come out to make a night of it and a night be made so mr robert who was three parts dull and the other dismal de y assented and they went into a wine to get materials for assisting them in making a night where found a good many ladies and various old and a of and cab drivers all drinking and talking together and mr thomas and mr robert drank small glasses of brandy and large of until they began to have a very idea either of in any thing in particular and when they had done themselves they began to treat else and the rest of the entertainment was a confused mixture of heads and heels black eyes and mud and thick doors and stone then as standard inform us all was a c and in the morning the blank was filled up with the words and the station house ms filled up with mr thomas mr robert and the major part of their wine vault companions of tbe preceding night with a small portion of of any kind and it was disclosed at the to the indignation of the and the astonishment of the how one robert aided and by one thomas hid knocked down and beaten at different times five making a night of it ov y and three women how the thomas had led possession of five door two bell handles and a t how robert his i had sworn at least forty pounds of oaths at the rate of five a piece terrified whole streets f s subjects with shrieks and of fire de d the of five police aod committed various other numerous to the magistrate after an mr and mr robert five shillings each for being what the law terms drunk and four pounds for seventeen at forty shillings a head with liberty to speak to the the were spoken to and messrs and lived on a as best they mi t and although the expressed their readiness to be twice a week on the mane terms they have never since been detected in making a night of it g sketches by chapter xii thb tan we were the comer of on our from a lounging excursion the other afternoon when a crowd assembled round the door of the police office attracted our attention we turned up the street accordingly there were thirty or forty people standing on the pavement and half across the road and a few were patiently stationed on the opposite side of the way all evidently waiting in expectation of some arrival we waited too a few minutes but nothing occurred so we turned round to an sallow looking who was standing next us with his hands under the of his apron and put the usual question of what s the matter the eyed us from head to foot with contempt and replied now we were perfectly aware that if two men stop in the street to look at any given object or even to gaze in the air two hundred men will be assembled in no time but as we knew very well that no crowd of people could by possibility remain in a street for five minutes without getting up a little amusement among themselves unless they had some absorbing object in view the natural inquiry next in order was what are all these people waiting here for her majesty s carriage replied the this was stiu more extraordinary we could not imagine what earthly business her majesty s carriage could have at tlie public office bow street we were beginning to on the possible causes of an uncommon appearance when a general exclamation from all the boys in the crowd of here s the wan i caused us to raise our heads and look up the street the covered vehicle in which are conveyed from offices to the different coming along at full speed it then occurred to us for the first time that her majesty s carriage was merely name for the prisoners van conferred upon it not only by of the superior of the term but because the van is maintained at her majesty s expense having been originally started tor the exclusive accommodation of ladies gentlemen under the necessity of visiting the various houses of du known by the general of her majesty s the van drew up at the office door and the people thronged round the steps just leaving a little alley for the prisoners to pass through our friend the and the other crossed over and we followed their example the driver and man who had been seated by his side in front of the vehicle dismounted and were admitted into the office the office door was closed after them and the crowd were on the of expectation after a few minutes delay the door again opened and the two first prisoners appeared they were a couple of girls of whom the elder could not be more than sixteen and the younger of whom had certainly not
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attained her year that they were sisters was evident from the resemblance which still between them though two additional of had fixed their brand upon the elder girl s features as as if a red hot iron had them tbey were both dressed the one especially and although there was a strong between them in both respects which was the more obvious by their being together it is impossible to conceive a contrast than the the prisoners van of the two presented the girl was weeping bitterly not for or in the hope of producing effect bnt for very her face was buried in her and her whole manner was but too of bitter and sorrow how long are you for screamed a red faced woman in the crowd six weeks and labour replied the elder girl with a and that s better the stone any how the mill s a deal better than the and here s going too for the first time hold up your head you chicken she continued tearing the other girl s handkerchief away hold up your head and show em your face i an t jealous but i m blessed if i game that s right old exclaimed a man in a paper cap who in common with the greater part of the crowd had been delighted with this little incident right replied the girl ah to be sure what s the odds eh come in with yon interrupted the driver don t you be in a hurry coachman replied the girl and recollect i want to be set down in cold bath fields large house with a high garden wall in front you can t mistake it where are you going to you ll pull my precious arm off this was addressed to the girl who in her anxiety to herself in the had ascended the steps first and forgotten the strain upon the come down and let a show you the way and after the miserable girl down with a force which made her on the pavement she got into the vehicle and was followed by her wretched companion these two girls had been thrown upon london streets their vices and by a sordid and mother what the younger girl was then the elder had been once and what the elder then was the younger must soon become a melancholy prospect but how surely to be a tragic drama but how often acted turn to the and offices of london nay look into the very streets themselves these things pass before our eyes day after day and hour alter hour they have become such matters of course that they are utterly disregarded the progress of these girls in crime will be as rapid as the flight of a resembling it too in its influence and wide spreading step by step how many wretched females within the sphere of man s observation have become involved in a career of vice frightful to contemplate hopeless at its commencement and repulsive in its course forlorn and at its miserable conclusion there were other prisoners boys of ten as hardened in vice as men of fifty a going joyfully to prison as a place of food and shelter to a man whose prospects were ruined character lost and family rendered destitute by his first offence our curiosity however was satisfied the first up had left an impression on our we would gladly have avoided and would willingly have the crowd dispersed the vehicle rolled away with its load of guilt and misfortune and we saw no more of the prisoners van sketches by tales chapter l the i was beyond all dispute the tidy that the smoke of london nd the house of mrs was decidedly the in all street the area and the area steps and the street door and the door steps and the brass handle and the door and the and the light were all as clean and bright as white washing and hearth and and rubbing could make them the won der was that the brass door with the interesting inscription had never caught fire from constant so was it polished there were meat blinds in the parlour windows and gold curtains in the and spring blinds as mrs was wont in the pride of her heart to boast all the way up the bell lamp in the passage looked as dear as a soap could see in all the tables and yourself on any one of the the were and the very stair wires made your eyes wink they were so glittering mrs was somewhat short of stature and mr was by no means a large man he had moreover very short legs but by way of his face was peculiarly long he was to his wife what the is in he was of some importance her he was nothing without her mrs was always talking mr spoke but if it were at ao time possible to put in a word when he should nothing ai mrs long stories and mr had the of which had n been heard by his most friends it always began i when i was in the hundred and six but i spoke very slowly and softly and better half very quickly and rarely got beyond the sentence he was a melancholy s men of the story he was wandering jew of joe mr a small h from the list al au f a year his fat mother and five interesting sc from the same stock drew a like from the of a grateful though for what particular was never known bat as said independence was not quite a to furnish two with the luxuries of this life it had to the busy little of the best thing she could do of would be
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to take furnish a tolerable in that partially tract country which lies between the museum and a remote village ca town for the reception i eat street was spot pitched upon the house been furnished accordingly two servants and a boy engaged advertisement inserted in the papers informing the public that individuals would meet with all comforts of a cheerful musical b the b h u e ib a within minutes walk of answers out of number were with ail sorts of all the letters of the seemed to be with a wish to go out and lodging was the correspondence between mrs and the and most profound was the observed e didn t like this i could nt think of putting up with that l u didn t think the terms would suit him and g r had never slept in a french bed the result however was that three gentlemen became inmates of mrs s house on terms which were agreeable to all parties in went the advertisement again and a lady with her two daughters proposed to not their families but mrs woman that mrs said mrs as she and her were sitting by the fire after breakfast the gentlemen having gone on their several charming woman indeed i repeated httle mrs more by way of than anything else for she never thought of her husband and the two daughters are we must have some fish to day tiny join us at dinner for the first time mr placed the at right angles with fire and to speak but recollected he had to say the young ladies continued mrs t have kindly volunteered to bring their own piano thought of the story but did not venture it a bright struck him it s very likely said he pray don t lean your head against the paper interrupted mrs and don t put your feet on tlie steel that s worse took his head from the paper nd his feet from the and it s very likely one of ladies may set her cap at young mr and yon know a marriage a what shrieked mrs modestly repeated his former suggestion i beg you won t mention such a thing said mrs t a marriage indeed to rob me of my no not for ae world thought in his own mind that the event was by no means unlikely but as he never argued with his wife he put a stop to the dialogue by observing it was time to go to business he always went out at ten o clock in the morning and returned at five in the afternoon with an exceedingly dirty face and smelling nobody knew what he was or where he went but mrs used to say with an air of great importance that he was engaged in tiie city the miss and their accomplished parent arrived in the course of the afternoon in a and accompanied by a most astonishing number of trunks bonnet boxes boxes and cases and of all imaginable done up in brown paper and fastened with pins filled the passage then there was such a running up and down with the luggage such for warm water tor the ladies to wash in and such a bustle and confusion and of servants and irons as had never been known in great before little mrs wan quite in her element bustling about talking incessantly and and soap like a head nurse in a hospital the house was not restored to its usual state of quiet repose until the ladies were safely shut up in their respective engaged in the important occupation of for dinner are th se i inquired mr of mr another of the as they were amusing themselves in the before dinner by on and sketches by don t know replied mr who was a young with spectacles and a black ribbon round his neck instead of a a most interesting person a poetical of the and a very young man he was fond of into conversation all sorts of from don without himself by the propriety of their application in which particular he was remarkably independent the mr was one of those young men who are in society what walking gentlemen are on the stage only infinitely worse skilled in his than the most indifferent ai he was as as the great bell of st paul s always dressed according to tlie published in uie monthly fashions and character with a k i saw a devilish number of in the passage when i came home mr materials for the toilet no doubt rejoined the don reader much linen lace and several pair of slippers complete with other articles of ladies fair to keep them beautiful or leave them neat is that from milton inquired mr no from returned mr with a look of contempt he was quite sm e of his author because he had never read any other hush here come the and they both commenced talking in a very loud key mrs and the miss mr mr mrs and the miss said mrs with a very red face for had been the cooking operations below stairs and looked like a wax doll on a sunny day mr i beg your pardon mr mrs and the miss and vice the gentlemen immediately began to slide about with much politeness and to look as if they wished their arms had been legs so little did they know to do with them smiled and glided into chain and for dropped pocket the gentlemen two of the curtain mrs went through an bit of serious with a servant who had come up to ask some about the fish and then the two young ladies looked at each other and everybody else appeared to discover something very attractive in the pattern of the my love
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plate is a very little said mrs to mr the gave a single rap he was busy eating the fish with his eyes so he only ejaculated ah my dear said mrs to her after every one else had been helped what do y u take the inquiry was accompanied with a look that he mustn t say fish because there was not much left thought the frown referred to the island on the he therefore coolly replied why i i take a fish i think did you say fish my dear frown yes dear replied the villain with an expression of acute hunger depicted in his countenance tears to eyes as she helped her of a husband as inwardly him to the last bit of oa the dish james take this to your master and take away your master s knife this was deliberate revenge as never could eat fish without one he was however constrained to small of salmon and round his plate with a of bread and a fork the number of attempts being one in seventeen take away james said mn as swallowed the and away the like lightning u take a bit of bread said the poor master of more hungry than ever never mind your master now james said mrs see the meat this was conveyed in the tone in which ladies usually give ad to servants in that is to say a low one hot which like a stage whisper from peculiar emphasis ia most distinctly heard h everybody present a pause ensued before a sort of ia which mr mr aad mr produced s bottle of and and took everybody except no one ever thought of him between the fish and an there was a prolonged here was an opportunity for mr he could not resist the appropriate quotation but beef is e within flesh there i no doubt aad kid aa mutton and when a npon them a joint upon their v on very thought little mrs to talk is that way ah said mr filling glass tom i my poet mine said mrs the a mid and mine added mr look at his the to be sure said with look at don replied mr s letter suggested miss can anything be than the fire inquired miss to be sore said or paradise and the said the old beau yes or paradise and the peer repeated who thought he was getting through it it all very weu replied mr who as we have before hinted never had read anything but don where will you anything finer than the description of the siege at the commencement of the seventh talking of a siege said with a of bread when i was in the corps in eighteen hundred and six our officer was sir charles and one day when we were on the ground on the london now stands he says says he calling me from the ranks tell your master james interrupted mrs in an distinct tone tell your master if he t those fowls to send them to me the instantly set to work and carved the fowls almost as as his wife on the of mutton whether he ever finished the story is not known but if he did nobody heard it as the ice was now broken and the new inmates more at home every member of the company felt more at ease himself most certainly did because he went to sleep immediately after dinner mr aud the ladies most poetry and the theatres and i s and mr followed up what said with mrs highly approved of every observation that fell from mr and as mr sat a smile upon and said yes or certainly at intervals of about four minutes each he received full credit for understanding what was going the gentlemen rejoined the ladies in the room very shortly after they had left the dining mrs and mr played and the young people amused themselves with music and conversation the miss sang the most fascinating and accompanied themselves on ornamented with bits of ethereal blue ribbon mr put on a pink waistcoat and said he was in and mr felt in the seventh heaven of poetry or the seventh of don it was the same thing to him mrs was quite charmed with the new comers and mr spent the evening in his usual way he went to sleep and woke up and went to sleep again and woke at we are not about to adopt the license of novel writers and to let years on but we will take the of the reader to suppose that six have elapsed the dinner we have described and that mrs s have during that period sang and danced and gone to theatres and together as ladies and gentlemen wherever they board often do and we will beg them the period we have mentioned having elapsed to imagine farther that mr iu his own bedroom a front at an early hour one morning a note from mr the favour of seeing him as soon as convenient to himself in his s dressing room on the second back tell mr down directly said mr to boy m c l v sketches by red this excited of as he on a bed gown not as i knows on sir replied the boy please sir he looked rather mm as it might be ah that s no proof of his being ill returned unconsciously very well be down directly down ran the boy with the message and down went the excited himself almost as soon as the message was tap tap come in door opens and mr sitting in an easy chair mutual shakes of the hand exchanged and mr to a seat a short pause mr and mr took a pinch of
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snuff it was one of those where neither party knows what to say mr broke silence i received a note he said very in a voice like a punch with a cold yes returned the other you did exactly yes now this dialogue must have been both gentlemen felt there was something more important to be said therefore they did as most men in such a situation would have done they looked at the table with a determined aspect the conversation had been opened however and mr had made up his mind to continue it double knock he always spoke said he i have sent for you in consequence of certain arrangements which are in this house connected with a marriage with a marriage gasped compared with whose expression of countenance hamlet s when he sees his father s ghost is pleasing and composed with a marriage returned the i have sent for you to prove the great confidence i can repose in you and will you betray me t ea t inquired who in his alarm had even forgotten to quote betray you won t you be y met never no one shall know to my dying day that you had a hand in the business responded the agitated with an countenance and his hair standing on end as if he were oa the stool of an machine in full operation people must know that some time or other within a year i imagine said mr with an air of great self complacency we may have t family that won t affect yon surely the it won t no how can it said the bewildered waa too much in the contemplation of his happiness to see the between and himself and threw himself back in his chair oh sighed the antique in a lack a voice and applying his right hand a little to the left of the fourth button of his waistcoat from the bottom oh what inquired starting up responded the other doing uie same i marry her to morrow said it s false rejoined his i marry her i you marry her i marry her you marry marry miss no un good heaven calling into his you many tbe mother and i the daughter most extraordinary v replied mr and rather too for the fact is that owing to s wishing to keep her intention secret from her ten until the ceremony had taken t like applying to any of the boarding house friends to give her away i entertain an objection to making the affair known to my acquaintance now and the consequence is that i sent to yon to know whether you d oblige me by ac g as father i should have been most happy i yon said in a tone of but you see i shall be acting as bridegroom one character is frequently a consequence of the other but it is not usual to act in both at the same time there s i haye no doubt he do it for you i don t like to ask him replied he s such a donkey mr looked up at the ceiling and down at the floor at last an idea struck him let the man of the house be the father he suggested and then he quoted as peculiarly to and the oh of b i what ui her father i upon th pair the idea has struck me already mr but you see for what reason i know not is very anxious that mrs should know nothing about it till it s all over it b a delicacy after all you know he s the best natured little man in if you manage him properly said mr tell him not to mention it to his wife and assure him she won t mind it and he do it directly my is to be a secret one on account of the mother and mi father therefore he must be to secrecy a small double knock like a single one was that instant heard at the street door it was it could be no one else for no one else occupied five minutes in rubbing his shoes he had been out to pay the baker s bill mr called mr in very bland tone looking over the sir replied he of the dirty i o n m will you have the kindness to step up stairs for a moment certainly sir said delighted to be taken notice of the bedroom door was carefully closed and having put his hat on the floor as most timid men do and been with a seat looked as astounded as if he were suddenly summoned before the of the a rather unpleasant occurrence mr said in a very manner me to consult you and to beg you will not what i am about to say to your wife wondering in his own mind what the deuce the other could have done and imagining that at least he must have broken uie best mr resumed i am placed mr in rather an unpleasant situation looked at mr as if he thought mr h s being in the immediate vicinity of his fellow might constitute the of his situation but as he did not exactly know what to say he merely ejaculated the lor now continued the let me beg you will exhibit no of surprise which may be overheard by the when i tell you your feelings of astonishment that two inmates of this house intend to be married tomorrow morning and he drew back his chair several feet to perceive the effect of the for announcement if had rushed from the room staggered down stairs and fainted in the passage if he had jumped out of the window into the behind the house in an agony of surprise his
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behaviour would have been much less inexplicable to mr than it was when he put his hands into his pockets and said with a half chuckle just so you are not surprised mr iu c am by no returned after all it s natural when two people get together you know t certainly certainly said with an air of you don t think it s at all an the way then i mr who had watched the countenance of in mute no sir i was just the same at bis age he actually smiled when he this how devilish well i must carry my years thought the delighted old beau he was at least ten years older at that moment well then to come to the point at once he continued i have to ask you whether you will object to act as father on the occasion certainly not replied still without an of surprise you will not t decidedly not still as calm as a pot of porter with the head off mr seized the hand of the governed little man and vowed eternal friendship from that hour who was all admiration and surprise did the same now confess asked mr of as he picked up his hat were you not a surprised i b you that illustrious person holding up one hand i you when i first of it so said so strange to ask me yoa know said so odd altogether said the love maker and then all three laughed i say said shutting the door which he had previously opened and giving full vent to a hitherto op what me ib father mr ed at yes but the best of h is the latter in his turn haven t got a he he he you haven t got a father but he has said who has inquired why him who do you know secret do you mean me you no you know ml mean returned with a wink for heaven s sake whom mean i inquired mr like was all of his senses at the strange why mr of replied who else mean i see it all said the to morrow morning undoubtedly replied t thoroughly satisfied of does it would require the to illustrate our is inadequate to describe the ex sion which the countenances of and mr assumed at this announcement equally it to describe although perhaps easier for our lady readers to what arts the three ladies could used completely to separate partners whatever were however they were the mother was perfectly aware o intended marriage of both and the young ladies were acquainted with the intention of parent they agreed ever that it would have a much b appearance if each feigned of the other s engagement and il equally desirable that all the man should take place on the same di prevent the discovery of one alliance on the others hence the oc mr and mr the boarding house and ihe pie of the the morning mr was united to miss b mr into a holy alliance with acting as father ia that n ot bein g quite ii o a s the t wo young men was s ck he had found some difficulty in i any one to give the away to him tj t the best mode of ing the inconvenience would be take her at all the lady how appealed as her counsel said trial of the cause v for a breach of promise with en heart to the outraged country recovered the amount of z which was pay mr walked the took it is head to walk off altogether wife is at present mother at mr n having the misfortune to lose e six weeks after by with an officer during in the fleet in consequence of hb inability her little maker s being by his who died soon afterwards was ue enough to obtain a at a fashionable hairs being a science to which he had frequently directed his attention in this situation he had necessarily many opportunities of making himself acquainted with the and style of thinking of the exclusive portion of the nobility of this kingdom to this fortunate circumstance are we indebted for the production of those brilliant efforts of genius his fashionable novels which long as good taste by exaggeration cant and continues to exist cannot fail to instruct and amuse the thinking portion of the community it only remains to add that this of completely deprived poor mrs of all her inmates except the one whom she could have best her husband that wretched little man returned home on the day of the wedding in a state of partial and under the influence of wine excitement and despair actually dared to brave the anger of his wife since that ill fated hour he has taken his meals in the to which apartment it is understood his will be in future confined a turn up having been conveyed there by mrs s order for his exclusive accommodation it is possible that he will be enabled to finish in that seclusion his story of the the advertisement has again appeared in the morning papers results must be reserved for another ter chapter the second i said mrs to as she sat in the front parlour k ram mansion one a piece of carpet first landing things have out so badly either and get a favourable answer to the advertisement we shall be full again mrs resumed her occupation of making work in the carpet anxiously listening to the who was hia way down e x a sketches bt a penny a knock the house was as as possible there was only one k w sound to be heard it was the cleaning the gentlemen s boots in the back kitchen and accompanying himself with a noise in wretched
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mockery of tune l e drew near the house he so did mrs a knock a a letter post paid t i presents to i t and t l to say that i see the advertisement and she will do herself the pleasure of calling on you at o clock to morrow morning t i as to to i t for the of uie notice but i hope it will not you i remain yours truly wednesday evening little mrs the document over and over again and the more she read it the more was she confused by the mixture of the first and third person the of i t i and the transition from the i t to the you the writing looked like a of thread in a and the note was folded into a perfect square with the direction squeezed up into the right hand comer as if it were ashamed of itself the back of the was ornamented with a large red which with the addition of divers ink bore a marvellous resemblance to a black trodden upon one thing however was dear to the perplexed mrs somebody was to call at twelve the drawing room was forthwith for the third time that morning three or four chairs were oat of their places and a corresponding number of books carefully upset in order that there might be a due absence of formality down went the piece of stair carpet before noticed and up ran mrs to make herself tidy the clock of new saint church struck twelve and the with politeness did the same ten minutes afterwards saint ing the quarter and then there arrived a angle lady with a knock in a the colour of the interior of a pie a bonnet of the same with a regular of art flowers a white and a green with a border the visitor who was very fat and red was shown into e drawing room mrs presented and the i called in consequence of an advertisement said the stranger in a voice as if she had been playing a set of fan s pipes for a fortnight without leaving off yes said mrs rubbing her hands very slowly and looking the full in uie two things she always did m occasions money isn t no object whatever to me said the lady so much as in a state of retirement and mrs as a matter of course in such an exceedingly natural desire i am attended by a medical man resumed the p i have been a shocking for some time i indeed have had very peace since the death of mr mrs looked at the of the departed and thought he must have had very peace in his time of course she could not say so so she looked very shall be a good deal of trouble to you said mrs but for that trouble i am willing to pay i am going through a course of treatment renders attention necessary i have one mutton chop in bed at half past eight and another at ten every morning mrs as in duty bound expressed the pity she felt for any body placed in such a distressing tion and the mrs proceeded to arrange the various with wonderful despatch now mind said that lady after terms were arranged i am to have the boarding house the second floor for my bedroom ma am and you find room for my little f oh certainly and i can have one of the in the area for my porter with the greatest pleasure shall get it ready for you by saturday and join the company at the breakfast table on sunday morning said mrs i shall get up on purpose very weu returned mrs in her most amiable tone for satisfactory had been given and required and it was quite certain that the new comer had plenty of money it s rather singular continued mrs with what was meant for a most smile that we have a gentleman now with vm who is in a very delicate state of health a mr his apartment is the back drawing room the next room inquired mrs the next room repeated the hostess how ejaculated the widow he hardly ever gets up said in a whisper lor cried mrs in an equally low tone and when he is up said mrs we never can persuade him to go to bed again dear me said the astonished mrs drawing her chair nearer mrs what is his complaint why the fact is replied mrs with a most air he has no stomach whatever no what inquired mrs with a look of the most indescribable ann no stomach repeated mrs with a shake of the head lord bless us what an extraordinary case gasped mrs as if she understood the communication in its literal sense and was astonished at a gentleman without a stomach finding it necessary to board anywhere when i say he has no stomach explained the little mrs m mean that his is so much and his interior so that his stomach is not of the least use to him in fact it s an inconvenience never heard such a case in my life mrs why he s worse than i am oh yes replied mrs certainly she said this with great confidence for the suggested that mrs at all events was not suffering under mr s complaint you have quite my curiosity said mrs as she rose to depart how i long to see him i he generally comes down once a week replied mrs i dare say you u see him on sunday with this promise mrs was obliged to be contented she accordingly walked slowly down the stairs her all the way and mrs followed her uttering an exclamation of compassion at every step
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james who looked very for he was cleaning the knives fell up the kitchen stairs and opened the street door and after mutual mrs slowly departed down the shady side of the street it is almost superfluous to say that the lady whom we have just shown out at we street door and whom the two female servants are now from the second floor windows was exceedingly vulgar ignorant and selfish her deceased better half had been an eminent cork in which capacity he had a decent fortune he had no relative but his nephew and no friend but his cook the former had the insolence one morning to ask for the loan of fifteen pounds and by way of he married the latter next day he made a will immediately i containing a burst of at xi g i sketches by his nephew who and two on loo a year and a of his whole property to his wife he felt ill after breakfast and died after dinner there is a in a parish setting forth his and his loss he never a bill or gave away a the and sole of noble minded man was an odd mixture of and simplicity and meanness bred up as she had been she knew no mode of so agreeable as a boarding house and nothing to do and nothing to for the naturally imagined she must be very ill an impression which was most promoted by her medical attendant dr and her both of whom for good reasons encouraged all her extravagant notions since the catastrophe recorded in ihe last chapter mrs had been very shy of young lady her present inmates were all lords of the creation and she availed herself of the opportunity of their assemblage at the table to announce the expected arrival of mrs the gentlemen received the indifference and mrs i devoted all her energies to prepare for e reception of the the second front was and washed and tiu the wet went through to tiie room ceiling clean white and curtains and w ter bottles as dear as crystal blue and furniture added to the splendour and increased the comfort of the apartment the warming pan was in and a fire lighted in the room every day the of mrs were forwarded by first there came a large of s stout and an umbrella then a train of trunks then a pair of dogs and a an easy chair with an air a variety of t and last not least mrs and the latter in a cherry dress open work stockings and shoes with hke a the of the duke of as c of the university of oxford was nothing in point of bustle and turmoil to the of mrs in her new quarters there was no bright of civil law to deliver a address en the but there were several other old women present who spoke quite as to the purpose and understood equally well the chop was so with the process of removal that she declined leaving her roots until morning so a a a pint bottle of stout and other were carried np stairs fat her why what do ma am r inquired the of her mistress after had sen in the house some three hours what do you think ma am t the of the house is married married said mrs taking the and a draught of married she is indeed ma am the and her husband ma am lives he he he lives in the kitchen ma am in the kitchen yes ma am and he he the says he never into the parlour except on sundays and that makes him dean he gentlemen s boots and that he the windows too sometimes and that one morning early when he ia the front balcony cleaning tiie drawing room windows he call out to a gentleman on the opposite side of the way who used to live here ah mr sir how are you here the attendant laughed till mrs was in serious apprehension of her herself into a fit well never said the boarding if ca and ma am the ter i him gin mid water i and then he cries and he i his wife and the and b to them the exclaimed o ma am not the the fa is that an r amid mrs i satisfied wanted to kiss me as i came lie kitchen stairs just now said indignantly bnt i gave it a wretch us was but too ig course of and neglect spent in the kitchen and his to in the turn up had broken the little spirit that had he had no one to whom detail his injuries but the and they were almost of ity his chosen it is than however the little weaknesses which he incurred most probably during career seemed to increase is comforts he was a sort of e story le next morning being sunday ut was laid in the xi o clock nine was the usual but e always onr later on sabbath bed himself in his sunday m black coat and exceedingly t thin with a very la waistcoat white stockings and it and boots and to the had down and he led himself by drinking the the with a pair of slippers were de the stairs flew to a and a stem looking man of t fifty with very little hair on his and a sunday paper in his hand ed the room ood morning mr very humbly some between a nod and bow how do yon mr t he of the slippers as he sat himself down and b an to read his paper without saying another word is mr in town to day do you know inquired just for the sake of saying something i should
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think he was replied the stem gentleman he was whistling the light in the next room to mine at five o dock morning he s very fond of said a slight i ain t was the mr john was in the receipt of an independent income arising chiefly from various houses he owned in the he was very and discontented he was a thorough radical and used to attend a great variety of public meetings for the express purpose of finding with everything that was proposed mr on the other hand was a high tory he was a clerk in the woods and office which ho considered an aristocratic employment he knew the by heart and could tell you off hand where any illustrious personage lived he had a good set of teeth and a capital tailor mr looked on all these with profound contempt and the consequence was that the two were always much to the of the rest of the it should be added that in addition to his partiality for whistling mr had a great idea of his singing powers there were two other besides the gentleman in the back drawing room mr alfred and mr o mr was a clerk in a wine house he was a in paintings and had a wonderful eye for the picturesque mr o was an recently ted he was in a perfectly wild state and had come over to to be an a clerk in a government office an actor a re i j sketches by that he was not he was on familiar terms with two small irish members and got for every body in the house he felt convinced that his merits must procure him a destiny he wore shepherd s and used to look under all the ladies as he walked along the streets his manners and appearance reminded one of here comes mr said and mr forthwith appeared in blue slippers and a shawl dressing gown whistling di ood morning sir said again it was almost the only thing he ever said to anybody how are you f replied the amateur and he walked to the window and whistled louder than ever pretty air that said with a and without taking his eyes off the paper you uke it highly gratified you think it would sound better if you whistled it a little louder inquired the no i don t think it would rejoined the unconscious i tell you what said who had been up his anger for some hours the next time you feel disposed to whistle the light at five o clock in the morning i u trouble you to whistle it with your bead out o window if you don t i learn the i will by the entrance of mrs with the keys in a little basket interrupted the threat and prevented its conclusion mrs for being down rather late the bell was rung james brought up the urn and received an unlimited order for dry toast and bacon sat down at the bottom of the table and began eating like a mr o appeared and mr alfred the compliments of the were exchanged and the tea wm made god bless me who had been looking out at the window here pray come here make haste mr started from the table and every one looked up do you see said the placing in the right position a little more this way there do you see how splendidly the light falls upon the left side of that broken chimney pot at no f dear me i see replied in a tone of admiration i never saw an object stand out so beautifully against the clear sky in my ufe ejaculated alfred everybody except john echoed the sentiment for mr had t great character for finding out which no one else could he certainly deserved it i have frequently observed a chimney pot in college green which has a much better effect said tiie pa o who never allowed ireland to be on any point the assertion was received with obvious incredulity for mr declared that no other chimney pot in the united kingdom broken or unbroken could be so beautiful as the one at no the room door was suddenly thrown open and appeared leading in mrs who was dressed in a coloured muslin gown and played a gold watch of huge dimensions a chain to match and a splendid of rings with enormous stones a general rush was made for a chair and a regular introduction took mr john made a slight inclination of the head mr o mr alfred and mr bowed like the in a s shop rubbed hands and went round in circles he was observed to close one eye and to assume a clock work sort of expression with the other this has been as a wink and it has been reported that was its object we the and challenge the boarding house u inquired after mrs s health in a low tone mrs with a supreme contempt for of an the questions in a most manner and a pause which uie with rapidity ou must haye been much d with the appearance of the going to the drawing room the day mr o said mrs hoping to start a topic replied with a ter saw anything like it before suggested except the lord lieutenant s re they at all equal to our draw h infinitely superior t ad i don t know said the die of was most dressed and so was the hat was he presented on f a his arrival in england thought so the radical never hear of these fellows being on their going away again know better than somebody them in said mrs g in the conversation in a faint ell said the it s
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a splendid sight nd did it never occur to you d e radical who never would did it never occur to you o i pay for these precious society i certainly hat occurred to me who thought this answer it has occurred to me am willing to pay for them ell and it has occurred to me replied john and i to pay for em then why i i i say why should it the laying down per and knocking his on the table are two great principles demand a cup of tea if you please dear interrupted and supply may i trouble you to hand this tea to mr said mrs interrupting the argument and unconsciously it the thread of the orator s discourse was broken he drank his tea and resumed the paper if it s very fine said mr alfred addressing the company in general i shall ride down to to day and come back by the steamer there are some splendid effects of light and shade on the thames the contrast between the of the sky and the yellow water is frequently exceedingly beautiful mr flow on thou shining river we have some splendid in ireland said o certainly said mrs delighted to find a subject in which she could take part the are extraordinary said extraordinary indeed returned mrs when mr was alive he was to go to ireland on business i went him and the manner in which the ladies and gentlemen were with is not creditable who had been listening to the dialogue looked aghast and evinced a strong inclination to ask a question but was checked by a look from his wife mr laughed and said had made a and laughed too and said he had not the remainder of the meal passed off as usually do conversation and people played with the looked out at the window walked about the room and when they got near the door dropped off one by one retired to the back parlour by hi wife to ev by fl weekly and mrs mid mrs were left alone together oh dear r said the latter i fed faint it b very it was for she had eaten four pounds of that morning by the by said mrs i have not seen mr what s his name yet mr suggested mrs yes h aid mrs he is a most mysterious person he has his meals regularly sent up stairs and don t leave room for weeks together i haven t seen or heard nothing of him repeated mrs i dare say you ll hear him tonight mrs he groans a good deal on evenings i never felt such an interest in any one in my life ejaculated mrs a uttle double knock interrupted the conversation was announced and duly shown in he was a uttle man with a red face dressed of course in black with a stiff white he had a very good practice and plenty of money which he had by invariably the worst fancies of all the females of all the families he had ever introduced into mrs offered to retire but was entreated to stay well my dear ma am and how are we r inquired in a soothing tone very ill doctor very ill said mrs in a whisper ah we must take care of ourselves we must indeed said the as he felt the pulse of his interesting patient how is our appetite mrs shook her head our friend requires great care said appealing to mrs who of course assented i hope however with the blessing of providence that we shall be enabled to make her quite again mrs wondered in her own mind what the patient would be when she was made quite stout we mast take said the cunning plenty of and above we must p our nerves quiet we must not give way to our we must take all we can get the doctor as he his fee and we must keep quiet dear man exclaimed mrs as the doctor stepped into his carriage indeed a lady s man said mrs td doctor rattled away to make fresh of delicate females and pocket fresh as we had occasion in a former paper to describe a dinner at mrs s and as one very like another on all ordinary we will not our readers by entering into any other detailed account of the domestic of the establishment we will proceed to events merely j that the m tenant of the back drawing room was a la selfish always complaining and never iu as his character in many respects closely to that of mrs a very warm soon sprung up th n he was tall t b and pale he always fancied he had a severe pain somewhere w other and his face invariably wore a pinched up expression he looked indeed like a man who had got his feet in a tub of hot water against his will for two or three months after mr s first appearance in john was observed to become every day m he sarcastic and more ill natured and there was a degree of additional importance in bis manner which clearly showed that be fancied he had discovered which be only wanted a proper opportunity of one evening the different inmates of the house were assembled in drawing room engaged in their occupations mr and the boarding house bi were at a able the centre window g mr on the the of a book and most alfred sitting table with his elbows duly d a p sketch of a larger than his own aj was reading and as if he understood it and had drawn his chair to mrs s work table and to her very earnestly in a ne can
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the staircase the boarding house like ghost of queen anne n the tent scene in richard this way mrs whispered he delighted give me hand there i whoever these are they are in the store room low for i have been looking down rom my window and i could see that hey accidentally upset their candle and are now in darkness you lave no shoes on have you no said uttle mrs who ould hardly speak for trembling well i have taken my boots off so we can go down close to the store door and listen over the and down stairs they both accordingly every board like a patent on a saturday afternoon it s and somebody i exclaimed the radical in an whisper when they had for a few moments hush pray let s hear what they lay exclaimed mrs the gratification of whose curiosity was low to every other ah if i could but believe you said a female voice i d t e bound to settle my for life what does she say i inquired who was not quite so well situated as his companion she says she settle her s life replied mrs the wretch they re murder i know you want money continued the voice which belonged to and if you d secure me the five hundred pound i warrant she should take fire soon enough what s that inquired again he could just hear enough to want to hear more i think she says she ll set the house on fire replied the mrs but thank god i m in the the moment i have secured your mistress my dear said a man s voice in a strong irish you may depend on having the money bless my soul it s mr o exclaimed in a the villain said the indignant mr the first thing to be done continued the is to poison mr s mind oh certainly returned what s that inquired again in an agony of curiosity and a whisper he says she s to mind and poison mr replied mrs aghast at this sacrifice of human life and in regard of mrs continued o mrs shuddered hush exclaimed in a tone of the greatest alarm just as mrs was on the extreme verge of a fainting fit hush hush exclaimed at the same moment to mrs there s somebody coming up said to o there s somebody coming stairs whispered to mrs go into the parlour sir said to her companion you will get there before whoever it is gets to the top of the kitchen the drawing room mrs whispered the astonished to his equally astonished companion and for the drawing room they both made plainly hearing the rushing of two persons one coming down stairs and one coming up what can it be exclaimed it s like a dream i wouldn t be found in this situation for the world nor i returned who could never bear a joke at his own expense hush here they are at the door what fun whispered one of he it was glorious replied his companion in an equally low tone this was alfred who would have thought it i told you so in a most knowing whisper lord bless by you he has paid her most extraordinary attention for the last two months i saw em when i was sitting at the piano to night well do you know i didn t notice it t interrupted not notice it continued bless you i saw him whispering to her and she crying and then i u swear i heard him say something about to night when we were all in bed they re talking of im the mrs as the and a sense of their situation upon her mind know it i know it replied with a melancholy consciousness that there was no mode of escape what s to be done we cannot both stop here i ejaculated mrs in a state of partial i get up the replied who really meant what he said yon can t said mrs in despair you can t it s a register stove hush repeated john hush hush cried somebody down stairs what a d d said alfred who began to get rather bewildered there they are the as a rustling noise was heard in the hark whispered both the young men hark mrs and let me alone sir said a female voice in the oh another voice which clearly belonged to for nobody else ever owned one like it oh lovely creature be quiet air i a be quiet sir i am ashamed of you think of your wife mr be quiet sir my wife i exclaimed the who wm clearly i influence of gin and and a placed attachment i ate her oh when i was in the corps in eighteen hundred i declare scream be sir will you t another and a what s with a start what s what i said stopping short why that ah you have done it nicely sir sobbed the frightened u a tapping was at mrs bedroom door which would beaten any mrs mrs called out mrs mrs get up here the imitation of t was resumed with violence oh dear the wretched partner of the she s knocking at my door we must be discovered t what will they think mrs i screamed the again what s the matter footed bursting out of the back room like the at l oh mr cried mn with a proper to i think the is ob fire or else there s thieves in it i have heard the most noises the devil you hate again back into ha den in hi imitation of the said and returning with a lighted wh what s
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here say say i m out and shall home again anything to i down stairs please sir the gentleman b ip replied the servant and was made evident by an of boots on the by a noise e of which could not fe of him divine show the gentleman in unfortunate bachelor exit and enter preceded e white dog dressed in a suit with pink eyes large i no perceptible tail of tlie on the m but too plain mr staggered beneath the the dog s appearance fellow how are you said as he entered ways spoke at the top of his d always said the same thing times are you my hearty do you do mr a chair i politely stammered ik you thank you well you eh well thank you said a look at the with his hind legs on the d his fore resting on was dragging a bit of out of a plate preparatory ring it with the side carpet you rogue said to you see he s like at home eh my boy m precious hot and hungry ed all the way from e you t ed no came to breakfast with ring the bell my dear fellow i and let s have another cup er and the cold ham make myself at home von see continued his boots with a table ha ha i my life i m hungry rang the bell and tried to smile i decidedly never was so hot in my life continued wiping his forehead well but how are you my soul you wear i d ye think so t said and he tried smile ton my life i do mrs b and what his name quite well v my son you mean never better never better but at such a place as we ve got at walk you know he couldn t be ill if he tried when i first saw it by jove it looked so knowing with the front garden and the green and the brass and all that i really it was a cut above me don t you think you d like the ham better interrupted if you cut it the other way he saw with feelings which it is impossible to describe that his visitor was cutting or rather the ham in utter of all established rules no thank ye returned with the most barbarous indifference to crime i prefer it this way it eats short but i say when will you come down and see us you will be delighted with the place i know you will and i were talking about you the other night and said another lump of sugar please thank ye she said don t you think you could contrive my dear to say to mr in a friendly way come down sir damn the dog i he s your curtains ha ha ha leaped from his seat as though he had received the discharge from a battery come out sir go out cried poor keeping nevertheless at a very respectful distance from the dog having read of a case of in the paper of that by d nt ol i v sketches by and deal of under the tables with a stick and umbrella the dog was at last and placed on the landing outside the door where he commenced a most appalling howling at the same time vehemently scratching the paint off the two nicely bottom until they resembled the interior of a back board a good dog for the country that coolly observed to the distracted but he s not used to confinement but now when will you come down t i ml take no denial positively let s see today s thursday will you come on sunday we dine at five don h say no do after a great deal of pressing mr driven to despair accepted the invitation and promised to be at walk on the sunday at a quarter before five to the minute now mind the direction said the coach goes from the in street every half hour when the coach stops at the swan you ll see immediately opposite you a white house which is your house i understand said wishing to cut short the visit and the story at ihe same time no no that s not mine that s s the great s j was going to say you turn down by the side of the white house till you can t go another step further mind that and then you turn to your right by some stables well close to you you see a wall with beware of the dog written on it in large letters shuddered go along by the side of that wall for about a quarter of a mile and anybody will show you which is my place very well thank ye good bye be punctual certainly good morning i say you ve got a card yes i have thank ye and mr departed leaving his cousin looking forward to his visit of the with ae feelings of a poet to the weekly visit of h scotch landlady sunday arrived the sky was bright and clear crowds of people were hurrying along the streets intent m their different schemes of pleasure for the day everything and everybody looked cheerful and happy except mr the day was fine bnt the heat ms considerable when mr had up the shady side of fleet street and street he become pretty warm tolerably dusty and it was getting into the bargain by the most extraordinary good fortune however a coach was waiting at the into which mr got on the assurance of the that
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the vehicle would start in three minutes that being the very utmost extremity of time it was allowed to wait by act of parliament a quarter of an hour elapsed and there were no si s of moving looked at his watch for the sixth time coachman are you going or not mr with his head and half his body out of the coach window di sir said the coachman with his hands in his pockets looking as much unlike a man in a hurry as possible bill take them off five minutes more elapsed at the end of which time the coachman mounted the box from whence he looked down the street and up the street and all the for another five minutes coachman if you don t go this moment i shall gift out said mr rendered desperate by the of the hour and the impossibility of being in walk at the appointed time going this minute sir was ae reply and accordingly the machine on for a couple of hundred yards and then stopped again doubled himself up in a comer of the coach and abandoned himself to his fate as a child a mother a mb am cousin and a fellow the child was an amiable infant the little dear for his other parent and screamed to embrace him bo dear said the mamma the of the darling little legs were and stamping and into the most in an ecstasy of be quiet dear that s not your papa thank i am not i thought as the first gleam of he had ei that morning shone like a through his wretchedness was agreeably mingled with affection in the disposition of the boy when satisfied that mr waa not his parent he to attract his notice by his with his dirty shoes his chest with his mamma s and other nameless peculiar to infancy with which he the of the ride apparently yery much to his own satisfaction when the unfortunate gentleman at the swan he found to his great dismay that it was a quarter the white house the stables the beware of the dog every was passed with a rapidity not to a gentleman of a age when too late for dinner after the lapse of a few minutes mr found himself opposite a yellow brick house with a green door brass and door plate green window frames and with a in front that is to say a loose bit of ground with one round and two beds containing a fir tree twenty or thirty and an unlimited number of the taste of mr and mrs was further displayed by the appearance of a on each side of the door perched upon a heap of chalk with pink his knock at the door was answered by a boy in lively stockings and high who after hanging hat on one of the dozen brass which ornamented the by courtesy the ushered him into a room commanding a very extensive view of the backs tf the neighbouring houses the usual ceremony of introduction and so over mr took his seat not a little agitated at finding that he was the last comer and somehow or other the lion of about a people sitting together in a small room getting rid of that of all time the time preceding dinner well said addressing an elderly gentleman in a black knee breeches and long who under pretence of the prints in an annual had been engaged in satisfying himself on the subject of mr s general appearance by looking at him ever the tops of the leaves well what do ministers mean to do will they go out or what oh why really you know i m the last person in the world to ask for news your cousin from his situation is the most likely person to answer the question mr assured the last speaker that although he was in he possessed no official communication relative to the projects of his majesty s ministers but his remark was evidently received and no further conjectures being on the subject a long pause ensued during which the company occupied themselves in and blowing their noses until the entrance of mrs caused a general rise the of introduction being over dinner was announced and down stairs the party proceeded accordingly mr mrs as far as the drawing room door but being prevented by the of the staircase from extending his gallantry any farther the dinner passed off as dinners usually do ever and anon amidst the clatter of knives and forks and the b m ra sketches by mr b b voice might be heard asking a friend to take wine and assuring him he was glad to see him and a great deal of by play took place between mrs b and the servants respecting the removal of the dishes during which her countenance assumed all the variations of a weather glass from stormy to set fair upon the and wine being placed on the table the servant in compliance with a significant look from mrs brought down master alexander in a sky blue suit with silver buttons and possessing hair of the same colour as the metal after sundry praises from his mother and various as to his behaviour from his father he was introduced to his well my little fellow you are a fine boy ain t you said mr as happy as a on yes how old are vou eight next we how old are alexander interrupted his mother how dare you ask mr how old he is he asked me how old was said the child to whom had from that moment resolved that he never would one shilling as soon as the occasioned by the observation had subsided a little man with red whiskers sitting at the
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bottom of the table who during the whole of dinner had been endeavouring to obtain a listener to some stories about called out with a very air what part of speech is a that s a good boy said mrs with all a mother s pride now you know what a is a is a word which to be to do or to suffer as i am i rule i am ruled give me an apple ma i ll give you an apple replied the man with the red whiskers who was an established friend of the family or la other words waa always invited by mrs whether mr liked it or not if you tell me whit is the meaning of he be said tlie after a little hesitation an insect that honey no dear frowned mrs b double e is the i don t think he knows much yet about common said the gentleman who thought this an admirable opportunity for letting oflf a joke it s dear he s not very well acquainted with proper he he he gentlemen called out mr from tlie end of the table in a voice and with a very air will you have the goodness to charge your glasses i hate a toast to propose hear hear cried the men passing the after they had made the round of the table mr proceeded there is an individual present hear hear said the little man with red whiskers pray be quiet jones i say gentlemen there is an individual present resumed the in whose society i am sure we take great delight and the conversation of that individual have afforded to every one present the utmost pleasure thank heaven he does not mean me thought conscious that his and had prevented bis saying above a dozen words since be entered the house gentlemen i am but a humble individual myself and i perhaps ought to for allowing any individual feelings of friendship and affection for the i allude to to induce me to venture to rise to propose the health of that person a person that i am sore that is to say a person whose virtues must him to those who him and those who have not the pleasure of knowing him cannot dislike him h w i heap i said the company mr and his cousin in a tone of encouragement and approval gentlemen continued my cousin is a man who is a of my own hear hear groaned audibly who i am most happy to see here and who if he were not here would certainly have deprived us of the great pleasure we all feel in seeing him loud cries of hear i feel that i have already on your attention for too long a time with every feeling of with every sentiment of gratification suggested the of the family of gratification i beg to propose the of mr standing gentlemen shouted the little man with the whiskers and witli the honours take your time from me if you please hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip all eyes were now fixed on the of the toast who by down port wine at tlie imminent hazard of endeavoured to conceal his confusion after as long a pause as decency would admit he rose but as the newspapers sometimes say in their reports we regret that we are quite unable to give even tlie substance of the honourable gentleman s observations the words present company honour present occasion and great happiness heard occasionally and repeated at intervals with a countenance expressive of tlie utmost confusion and misery convinced the company that he was making an excellent speech and accordingly on his liis seat they cried and manifested tumultuous applause jones who had been long watching his opportunity then darted up said he will you allow me to propose a toast c replied adding in an under tone to right across the table devilish sharp fellow that you be very much pleased with his speech he talks equally well on any subject bowed and mr jones proceeded it has on several occasions in various instances under many circumstances and in different companies fallen to my lot to propose a toast to those by whom at the time i have had the honour to be surrounded i have sometimes i will cheerfully own for why should i deny it t felt the overwhelming nature of the task i have undertaken and my own utter to do justice to the if such have been my feelings on former occasions must they be now now under the circumstances in which i am placed hear hear to describe my feelings accurately would be impossible but i cannot give you k better idea of them gentlemen than by referring to a circumstance which happens oddly enough to occur to my mind at the moment on one occasion when that truly great and illustrious man was now there is no knowing what new in the form of a joke would have been heaped on the grave of that very ill used man mr if the boy in had not at that moment entered the room in a breathless state to report that as it was a very wet night the nine o clock stage had come round to know whether there was anybody going to town as in that case he the nine o clock had room for one inside mr started up and despite countless exclamations of surprise and entreaties to stay persisted in his determination to accept the vacant place but the brown silk umbrella was nowhere to be found and as the coachman couldn t wait he drove back to the swan leaving word for mr to run round and catch
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him however as it did not occur to mr for some ten minutes or so that he had left the brown silk umbrella with the ivory handle in the other coach coming down and moreover as he was by no means remarkable for a d it is no matter ol war s sketches by be accomplished the feat of running round to the swan the coach the coach had gone without it was somewhere about three o clock in the morning when mr knocked feebly at the street door of his lodgings in wet cross and miserable ho made his will next and his professional man us in that strict confidence in which we inform the that neither the name of mr nor of nor of alexander chapter iii miss or to quote the authority of the inscription on the gate of house the were two unusually particularly thin and exceedingly personages upright and yery yellow miss owned to eight and miss maria admitted she was forty an admission which was rendered perfectly by the self fact of her being at least fifty they dressed in most interesting manner like and looked as happy and comfortable as a couple of run to seed they were very precise liad the possible ideas of propriety wore false hair and smelt very strongly of house conducted under the of the two sisters was a finishing establishment for young ladies where some twenty girls of the ages of from thirteen to nineteen acquired a of everything and a knowledge of nothing instruction in and i dancing lessons twice a week aud other necessaries of life the house was a white one a little removed from the road side with dose in front the bed room windows were always left partly open to afford a bird s eye view of numerous little with very white mad thereby with a due sense of the the establishment and there a front parlour hung round with highly maps which nobody ever looked at and filled with books no one ever read appropriated to the reception of parents who whenever they called could not to be struck with the deep appear of tlie place my dear said maria entering the one morning with her false hair in papers as she occasionally did in order to impress tlie young ladies with a conviction of its my dear here is i have just received you t mind reading it aloud miss thus advised to read the note with an air of great triumph brook a m p presents his compliments to miss and will feel much obliged by miss s calling co him if she conveniently can to morrow morning at one o clock as brook esq p u anxious to see miss on the subject of placing miss wall under her charge monday morning a member of c daughter ejaculated in ao aj a of parliament s repeated miss maria ith a smile of delight which of course a of pleasure om all the young ladies it s exceedingly delightful said whereupon all the ladies murmured their n again are but school and court ladies school girls so important ao announcement at ice the business of the ij a holiday was declared in of the great event the retired to their apartment to talk it over the discussed the probable and customs of the daughter a member of parliament and the ladies on eighteen whether she was engaged she was pretty whether she much bustle and other of equal importance the two miss proceeded the at the appointed time day dressed of course in their t style and looking as amiable as icy possibly could which by the by not saying much for them having mt in their cards through the medium p a red hot looking footman in bright very they were ushered into the presence of the profound brook i p was very haughty solemn and he had naturally a some hat expression of which was not rendered the remarkable by wearing an stiff he was proud of the m p attached his name and never lost an of reminding people of his he had a great idea of his abilities wliich must have been a comfort to him as no one else lad and in on a small in his own family e considered himself he a county magistrate and the duties of his station with due justice and and occasionally miss brook was one of that numerous class of young ladies who like may be known by their answering to a commonplace question and doing else on the present occasion this individual was seated in a small library at a table covered with papers doing nothing but trying to look busy playing at shop acts of and letters directed to brook esq m p were scattered over tlie table at a little distance from which mrs brook was seated at work one of those public a spoiled child was playing about uie room dressed after tlie most approved fashion in a blue with a black belt a quarter of a yard wide fastened with an immense looking like a robber in a seen through a glass after a little from the sweet child who amused himself by running away with miss maria s chair as fast as it was placed for her the visitors were seated and brook esq opened the conversation he had sent for miss he said m consequence of the high character he had received of her establishment from his friend sir alfred miss murmured her to him and proceeded one of my principal reasons miss for parting with my daughter is that she has lately acquired some sentimental ideas which it is most desirable to from her young mind here the little innocent before noticed fell out of an arm chair with an awful crash naughty boy said
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his mamma who appeared more surprised at his taking the liberty of falling down than at anything else i ring the bell for james to take him away pray don t check him my love said the as soon as he could make be x ai sketches by howling consequent upon the threat and the tumble lt arises from his great flow of spirits this last explanation was addressed to miss certainly sir replied the antique maria not exactly seeing however the between a flow of animal spirits and a fall from an silence was restored and the m p resumed now i know nothing so likely to this object miss as her mixing constantly in tlie society of girls of her own age and as i know tliat in your establishment she will meet such as are not likely to her young mind i propose to send her to you the youngest miss expressed tlie of the establishment generally maria was rendered speechless by bodily pain the dear little fellow having recovered his animal spirits was standing upon her most tender foot by way of getting his face which looked like a capital o in a red play bill on a level with the writing of course will be a parlour continued the father and on one point i wish my directions to be strictly the fact is that some ridiculous love affair with a person much her inferior in life has been the cause of her pi state of mind knowing that of course under care she can have no opportunity this person i do not object to indeed i should rather prefer her mixing with such society as you see yourself this important statement was again interrupted by tlie high spirited little e in the excess of his breaking a pane of glass and nearly himself into an adjacent area james was rung for considerable confusion and screaming succeeded two little blue legs were seen to kick violently in the air as the man left the room and the child was one mr brook would v ke miss brook to every thing said brook wh hardly ever said anything at all certainly said both the together and as i trust the plan i hav devised will be effectual in my daughter from this absurd miss continued the i hope you will have goodness to in all respect with any request i may forward to you the promise was of course made and after a lengthened di on behalf of tlie wit the most becoming and on that of the with found respect it was finally arrange that miss should be to on uie next day bi one on which occasion the half ball given at the establishment was take place it might divert the girl s mind this by the way wi another bit of miss was to h future and the mi pronounced her a mo charming girl an opinion which a singular coincidence they entertained of any new pupil were exchanged expressed exhibited and the interview preparations to make use of the on a scale of m never before attempted we incessantly made at house give every effect to the bt the largest room in the house was pie singly ornamented with blue roses and other equal natural looking artificial flowers tl work of the young ladies the carpet was taken up the doors were taken down the was taken out and were in the linen of were astounded at the sudden for blue ribbon and loi white gloves of were purchased for and harp and two were from town in addition to the sentiment piano already on tlie premises the ladies who were selected to show off on the occasion and do credit to the establishment practised incessantly much to their own satisfaction and greatly to the annoyance of tlie lame old gentleman over the way and a constant correspondence was kept up between the and the the evening came and then there was such a of stays and tying of and dressing of hair as never can take place with a proper d of bustle out of a the smaller girls managed to be in everybody s way and were pushed about accordingly and the elder ones dressed and tied and flattered and envied one another as earnestly and sincerely as if they had actually come out how do i look dear r inquired miss the of the house of miss who was her bosom friend because she was the girl in or out of it oh charming dear how do delightful you never looked so handsome returned the her own dress and not a glance on her poor companion i hope young will come early said another young lady to somebody else in a fever oi expectation i m sure he d be highly flattered if he knew it returned e other who was oh he s so said the first such a charming person added a second such a air said a h what do you think said another girl running into the room miss says her cousin s coming what butler t said everybody in is he handsome t inquired a no not particularly handsome was the general reply but oh so clever mr butler was one of those immortal who are to be met with in almost every circle they have usually very deep monotonous voices they always persuade themselves that they are wonderful persons and that they ought to be very miserable though ihey don t precisely know why they are very conceited and usually possess half an idea but with enthusiastic young ladies and silly young gentlemen they are very wonderful persons the individual in question mr had written a containing some very considerations on the of doing something or and as every sentence contained a good many words of four his admirers took it for granted that he meant a good deal
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persisted in displaying her green head dress in the most part of the ow the supper consisted of in and a and there by way of variety and how the visitors consumed warm water disguised with and dotted with under the of these and other matters of as much interest however we pass over for the purpose of describing a of even more importance a fortnight after the date of the ball brook esq was seated at the same and in the same room as we have before described he was alone and his face bore an of deep thought and solemn gravity e was drawing up a bill for the better of monday the footman tapped at the door the tor started from his reverie and was permission was given for miss to enter the sliding in and having taken her seat with a due portion of affectation the footman retired and the left alone with the m p oh how she longed for the of a third party even the gen would have been a relief miss began the she hoped mrs brook and the handsome little boy were ha health they were mrs brook and little were at much obliged to you miss ton said in his most manner for your attention in calling this morning i should have driven down to to see but your account was so very satisfactory and my duties in the house occupy me so i i s sketches by to it for a week how has she gone on very well indeed sir returned maria to inform the father that she had gone off ah i thought the plan on which i proceeded would be a match for her here was a favourable opportunity to say that somebody else had been a match for her but the unfortunate was unequal to the task you have strictly in the line of conduct i prescribed miss strictly sir you tell me in your note that her spirits gradually improved very much indeed sir to be sure i was convinced they would but i fear sir said miss ton with visible i fear the plan has not succeeded quite so well as we could have wished no exclaimed prophet bless me miss you look alarmed what has happened miss brook sir yes ma am has gone sir said maria exhibiting a strong inclination to faint gone sir i who when how r almost shrieked the agitated the natural yellow of the unfortunate face changed to all the hues of the rainbow as she laid a small packet on the member s table he hurriedly opened it a letter from his daughter and another from he glanced over their contents ere reaches you far distant appeal to feelings love to distraction bees wax slavery c c he dashed his hand to liis forehead and paced the room witli fearfully long strides to the great of the precise maria now mind from this time ward said mr brook suddenly stopping at the table sad beating time upon it with his hand from this time forward i never will under any circumstances whatever permit a man who writes to enter any other room of this but the kitchen allow my daughter and her one hundred and fifty pounds a year and never see their faces again and ma am i u bring in a bill for the of finishing p some time has elapsed since this passionate declaration mr and mn butler are at present in a small cottage at ball s pond pleasantly situated in the immediate vicinity oft brick field they have no family mr looks very important and writes incessantly but in consequence of a gross combination m the part of none of his productions appear in print young wife begins to think that misery is to real and that a marriage contracted in haste and repented at leisure is the cause of more substantial wretchedness than she ever anticipated on cool brook esq was reluctantly compelled to admit that the result of his admirable arrangements was not to the but his own he however himself like some other small by satisfactorily proving that if his plans did not succeed they ought to hare done so house is in f and the remain in the and undisturbed of all the advantages from their finishing the s at chapter iv the s at once upon a time there dwelt in a narrow street on the side of the water within three walk of old london bridge mr joseph a little dark faced man with shiny hair twinkling eyes short legs ind a body of considerable thickness measuring from the centre button f his waistcoat in front to the ornamental buttons of his coat behind the figure of the amiable mrs f not perfectly was comfortable and the form of only daughter the accomplished hiss was fast into that state of luxuriant which had enchanted the eyes and the heart of mr joseph in his earlier days mr his only son and miss s only brother was as differently in body as he was differently in mind from the remainder f his family there was that in his thoughtful face and that to weakness in his interesting tell so forcibly of a great and romantic disposition the traits of character in such a possess no mean interest to minds he usually ap in public in shoes black cotton stockings and was observed to be particularly attached to i black glazed stock without tie or of any description there is perhaps no profession how ter useful no pursuit however which can escape the of vulgar minds mr was a it might ye supposed that a was beyond lie breath of but no the him as a and the poisonous voice of distinctly asserted that he dis en
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ed tea and coffee by tl sugar by the cheese by the tobacco by the screw and butter by the pat these however were lost upon the s mr attended to the department mrs s to the and miss to her education mr kept his father s books and his own counsel one fine spring afternoon the latter gentleman was seated on a tub of weekly behind the little red desk with a wooden rail which ornamented a comer of the counter when a stranger dismounted from a cab and hastily entered the shop he was in black cloth and bore with him a green umbrella and a blue bag mr said the stranger my name is replied mr it s the other mr said the stranger looking towards the glass door which led into the parlour behind the shop and on the inside of which the round face of mr senior was distinctly visible peeping over the curtain mr gracefully waved his pen as if in intimation of his wish that his father would advance mr joseph with considerable removed his face from the curtain and placed it before the stranger i come from the temple said the man with the bi from the temple said mrs flinging open the door of the little parlour and miss in perspective from the temple said miss and mr at the same moment from the temple said mr joseph turning as pale as a dutch cheese s by the temple repeated the man with the bag from mr s the s mr i congratulate you sir ladies i wish you joy of your prosperity i we have been successful and the man with the bag leisurely himself of his e a to shaking hands with mr joseph now we have been had no sooner issued from the mouth of the man with the bag than mr rose from the tub of weekly opened is eyes very wide gasped for made figures of eight in the air with his pen and finally fell into the of his anxious mother and away without slightest or pretence water mrs look up my son exclaimed mr dear miss i m better now said mr what successful i and then as evidence of his being better he fainted away again and was borne into the little parlour by the united of the remainder of be family and the man with the bag to a casual spectator or to any one with the position of the family this fainting have been unaccountable to those o understood the mission of the man with the bag and were moreover acquainted the of the nerves of mr it was quite a long law respecting the of a will had been unexpectedly decided and life joseph was the possessor of twenty thousand pounds consultation took place that night in the little parlour a that was to settle the future t f the s the shop was shut up at an unusually early hour and many were the bestowed upon q door by for of or half of bread or of which were to have been left till saturday but which fortune had were to be left alone altogether we must certainly give up business said miss oh decidedly a s shall go to the bar said mr and i shall always sign myself in future said his son and i shall ca myself said miss and you call me ma nd pa mb yes and pa must leave off ul his vulgar habits miss i take cats of mr joseph complacently he was at that very moment eating salmon with a we must leave town immediately said mr everybody that this an indispensable to being genteel the question then where should they go mildly suggested mr joseph the idea was was mrs worse and worse nobody there mr opposed an all the had been in turn within the last weeks had two killed and six wounded and in eveiy case the new had no no blame whatever was to the coachman thoughtfully to be sure they must have been not to thought of that before s just the place of all others two months after this the city of london was down the river h r a was ing her band was the b at her gay and ly no wonder the s were on charming ain t it said joseph in a bottle green great coat with a wet collar of the same and a with a gold band replied mr he was entered at the bar iu m delightful morning ear said a military looking gentleman in a blue up to his chin and white trousers chained down to the of his boots mr took upon himself the responsibility of answering the observation heavenly i he replied yon are an enthusiastic admirer of the beauties of nature sir said the military gentleman i am sir replied mr travelled much sir inquired the military gentleman not replied mr you ve been on the continent of i inquired the military gentle not exactly replied mr in a qualified tone as if he wished it to be implied that he had gone half way and come back again you of course intend your son to make the grand tour sir i said the military gentleman addressing mr t mr joseph did not precisely understand what the grand tour was or how such an article was he replied of course just as he said the word there up from her seat at the stem of the vessel a young lady in a silk cloak and boots of the same with long black large black eyes brief and ankles walter my dear said the young lady to the military gentleman yes my love responded the military gentleman to the young lady what
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liave you left me alone so long aid the young lady i have been out of by those rude young men what stared at the military gentleman with an emphasis which made mr withdraw his eyes from the young lady s face with inconceivable rapidity whidi men where and the military gentleman clenched his fist and glared fearfully on the around be walter i entreat said the young lady i won t said the military gentleman do sir interposed mr they ain t worth your notice no no they are not indeed urged the young lady i be calm said the military gentleman you speak truly sir i you for a remonstrance which may have q me the guilt of his wrath the military gentleman wrung mr by the hand my sister sir said mr seeing that the military gentleman was casting an admiring look towards miss my wife ma am mrs captain waters said the military gentleman presenting the black eyed young lady my mother ma am mrs said the military gentleman and his wife murmured and the s looked as as they could walter my dear the young lady after they had sat with the s some half hour yes my love the military gentleman don t you think this gentleman with an inclination of the head towards mr is very much like the lord bless me very i said the military gentleman it struck me the moment i saw him said the young gazing in and a a w i ti sketches by the scarlet of mr mr looked at everybody and finding that everybody was at him appeared some difficulty in of hia so exactly the air of the said the military gentleman quite y sighed the military gentleman s lady you don t know the sir inquired the military gentleman mr stammered a negative if you did continued captain walter waters you would feel how much reason you have to be proud of the resemblance a most elegant man with a most appearance he is be is indeed exclaimed waters as her eye caught that of mr she withdrew it from his features in confusion all this was highly to the feelings of the s and when in the course of farther conversation it was discovered that miss was the of a relative of mrs waters and that mrs herself was the very picture of the of their delight in the acquisition of so genteel and friendly an acquaintance knew no bounds even the dignity of captain walter waters relaxed to that degree that he suffered himself to be prevailed upon by mr joseph to partake of cold and on deck and a most delightful conversation aided by these agreeable was prolonged until they ran alongside pier good by e dear said mrs captain waters to miss just before the bustle of landing commenced we shall see you on the sands in the morning and as we are sure to have found lodgings before then i hope we shall be for many weeks to come oh i hope so said miss emphatically ladies and gen wn ba the man on the box want a porter sir inquired a dozen men in now my dear said captain waters good by e said mrs captain waters good by e mr and with a pressure of the hand which threw the amiable young man s into a state of considerable mrs captain waters among the crowd a pair of boots were seen ascending the steps a white handkerchief fluttered a black eye gleamed the waters s were gone and mr was alone in a heartless world silently and did that too sensitive youth follow his parents and a train of and along the pier until the bustle of the scene around recalled him to himself the sun was shining brightly the sea dancing to its own music rolled merrily in crowds of people to and fro young ladies old ladies talked nurse maids displayed their charms to the greatest possible advantage and their little charges ran up and down and to and fro and in and out under the feet and between the legs of the assembled in the most playful and manner there were old gentlemen trying to make out objects through long and young ones making objects of themselves in open shirt ladies about chairs and chairs carrying about parties waiting on the pier for parties who had come by the and nothing was to be heard but talking laughing and merriment fly sir exclaimed a of men and six boys the moment mr joseph at the head of his little party set foot in the street here s the gen n at last said one touching his hat with mock politeness worry glad to see sir been a for you these six jump in if you please sir t a wa fist the s at ram gate said another fourteen mile a and objects rendered by ex large for your luggage air a third large fly here sir lar here a your fly sir i shouted another mounting the box and an old gray horse to indulge in some reminiscences of a look at him sir temper of a lamb and of a steam resisting even the temptation of securing the services of so valuable a as the last named mr beckoned to the proprietor of a dingy conveyance of a hue lined with faded striped and tiie luggage and the family having been deposited therein the animal in the shafts after describing circles in the road for a quarter of an hour at last consented to depart in quest of lodgings how many beds have you got screamed mrs out of tlie fly to the woman who opened the door of the first house which displayed a that apartments were to be let within how many did you
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want ma am was of course the reply three will you step in ma am down got mrs the family were delighted splendid view of the sea from the front windows charming a short pause back came mrs again one parlour and a why the devil didn t they say so at first inquired mr joseph rather don t know said mrs wretches exclaimed the ner another bill another same same answer similar result what do they mean by this inquired mr joseph thoroughly oat of temper don t know said the placid mrs the here sir said the driver by way of for the no j circumstance in a satisfactory manner and off they went again to make fresh inquiries and encounter fresh disappointments it had grown dusk when the fly the rate of whose progress greatly its name after climbing up four or five perpendicular hills stopped before the door of a dusty house with a bay window from which you could obtain a beautiful glimpse of the sea if you thrust half your out of it at the imminent peril of falling into the area mrs alighted one ground floor sitting room and three with beds in them up stairs a double house family on the opposite side five children milk and watering in the parlour and one little boy for bad behaviour screaming on his back in tlie passage what s the terms said mrs the mistress of the house was considering the of putting on an extra guinea so she slightly and affected not to hear the question what s the terms said mrs in a louder key five guineas a week ma am attendance replied the house keeper attendance means the privilege of ringing the bell as often as you like for your own amusement dear said mrs oh dear no ma am replied the mistress of the house with a smile of pity at the ignorance of manners and customs which the observation betrayed very cheap such an authority was in mrs paid a week s rent in advance and took the lodgings for a month in an hour s time the family were seated at tea in their new abode capital said mr joseph mr eyed his father with a rebellious as he emphatically said well then said mr joseph or don t much matter there v sketches by in mr s eye as he replied don t matter father what would captain waters say if he heard such vulgarity or what would dear mrs captain waters say added if she saw mother ma i eating them whole heads and all it won t bear thinking of ejaculated mr with a shudder how different he thought from the of very pretty woman mrs captain waters is she not inquired miss a glow of nervous excitement passed oyer the countenance of mr as he replied an angel of beauty said mr joseph my boy take care married lady you know and he winked one of his twinkling eyes why exclaimed starting up with an of fury as unexpected as alarming why am i to be reminded of that of my happiness and ruin of my hopes why am i to be with the miseries which are heaped upon my head is it not enough to to to and the orator paused but whether for want of words or lack of breath was never distinctly ascertained there was an impressive solemnity in the tone of this address and in the air with which the romantic at its conclusion rang the bell and demanded a flat which effectually forbade a reply he stalked to bed and the s went to bed too half an hour afterwards in a state of considerable and perplexity if the pier had presented a scene of life and bustle to the s on their first landing at it was far surpassed by tlie appearance of the sands on the morning after their arrival it was a fine bright clear day with a light breeze from the sea there were the same ladies and gentlemen the same children the same the same the same chairs employed in making or knitting or leading novels the gentlemen were reading newspapers and magazines the children were digging holes in the sand with wooden and collecting water therein the their youngest charges in their were running in after the waves and then running back with the after them and now and then a sailing boat either departed with a and cargo of passengers or returned with a very silent uncomfortable looking one well i never as she and mr joseph and miss and mr with their eight feet in a corresponding number of w shoes seated on four chairs which being placed in a soft part of the sand forthwith sunk down some two feet and well i never i mr by an exertion of personal strength the chain and removed further back why i m blessed if there some ladies a going in exclaimed mr joseph with intense astonishment lor pa exclaimed miss there is my dear said mr joseph and sure four young ladies each furnished a tripped up the steps of a bathing machine in went about in uie water round turned the machine down sat the driver and presently out burst the young ladies with four distinct weu that s too mr joseph after a awkward pause mr slightly why here s some a going in on this side mrs in a tone of horror three machines three three three round three three gentle the s at men in the water like so many well that said mr again miss this time and another pause it was agreeably broken how d ye do we have been looking for you all the morning said a voice to
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miss mrs captain waters was the owner of it how d ye do said captain walter waters all and a most cordial of greetings ensued my love said captain walter waters applying his glass to his eye and looking in the direction of the sea yes my dear replied mrs captain waters there s harry i where said applying her glass to her eye bathing lor so it is he don t see us does he no i don t think he does replied the captain bless my soul how singular what there s mary too lor i where up went the glass again there said the captain pointing to one of the young ladies before noticed who in her bathing costume looked as if she was enveloped in a patent of scanty dimensions so it is i declare exclaimed mrs captain waters how very curious we should see them both very said the captain with perfect coolness it s the lar thing here you see whispered mr to bis father i see it is whispered mr joseph in reply queer though ain t it mr nodded assent what do you think of doing with yourself this morning inquired the captain shall we lunch at i should like that very much indeed interposed mrs she had never heard of but the word lunch had reached her ears and it sounded very agreeably how shall we go inquired the captain it s too warm to walk a suggested mr joseph chaise whispered i should think one would be enough said mr joseph aloud quite unconscious of the meaning of the however two if you like i should like a donkey so much said oh so should i echoed well we can have a fly suggested the captain and you can have a couple of a fresh difficulty arose mrs captain waters declared it would be decidedly improper for two ladies to ride alone the remedy was obvious perhaps young mr would be gallant enough to accompany them mr blushed smiled looked vacant and faintly protested tliat he was no the objection was at once a fly was speedily found and three which the proprietor declared on his to be three parts blood and the other corn were engaged in the service up i shouted one of the two boys who followed behind to the when waters and had been hoisted and pushed and pulled into their respective hi hi i groaned the other boy behind mr away went the donkey with the against the of s boots and s boots nearly the ground t way o o o cried mr c mon as well as he could in the midst of the don t make it gallop screamed mrs captain waters behind my donkey o c j k sketches by house miss in the rear hi groaned the boys together and on went the as if nothing would ever stop them everything has an end however even the of will cease in time the animal which mr feeling sundry uncomfortable at the bit the intent of which he could by no divine abruptly against a brick wall and expressed his uneasiness by grinding mr s leg on the rough surface mrs captain waters s donkey apparently under the influence of some of spirit rushed suddenly head first into a hedge and declined to come out again and the on which miss was mounted expressed his delight at this humorous proceeding by firmly planting his against the ground and kicking up his hind legs in a very but somewhat alarming manner this abrupt termination to the rapidity of the ride naturally occasioned some confusion both the ladies indulged in vehement screaming for several minutes and mr besides intense pain had the additional mental anguish of witnessing their distressing situation without having the power to rescue them bv reason of his leg being firmly in between the animal and uie wall the efforts of the boys however assisted by the ingenious expedient of twisting the tail of the most rebellious donkey restored order in a much shorter time than could have reasonably been expected and the little party slowly on together now let em walk said mr it s cruel to em well sir replied tlie boy with a grin at his companion as if he understood mr to mean that the cruelly applied less to the animals than to their what a day dear i said charming dear responded mrs captain waters what a beautiful prospect mr looked full in s face as he responded beautiful indeed the lady cast down her eyes and suffered the animal she was riding to fall a little back instinctively did the same there was a brief silence broken only by a sigh from mr mr said the lady suddenly in a low tone mr i am another s mr expressed his perfect in a statement which it was impossible to if i had not been resumed and there she stopped what said mr earnestly do not torture me what would you say if i had not been continued mrs captain waters if in life it had been my fate to have known and been beloved by a noble a kindred soul a congenial one capable of feeling and the sentiments which heavens what do i hear exclaimed mr l it possible can i believe my come up this last was addressed to the donkey who with his head between his appeared to be examining the state of his shoes with great anxiety hi hi hi said the boys come up again hi hi hi repeated the boys and whether it was that the animal felt indignant at the tone of mr s command or felt alarmed by the noise of the proprietor s boots behind him or he burned with a noble to the other
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certain it is that he no sooner heard the second series of hi hi s than he stiu away with a of pace whidi jerked mr s hat off and carried him to the bay hotel in no time where be de si c giving him tub s at the trouble of hy him over his head into the very doorway of the tavern great was the confusion of mr when he was put right end uppermost by two considerable was the alarm of mrs in behalf of her son were the apprehensions of mrs captain waters on his account it was speedily discovered however that he not sustained much more injury than the donkey he was and the animal was and then it a delightful party to be sure mr and mn and the captain had ordered lunch in the little garden behind small of of butter and ale the sky was without a cloud there were flower pots and turf before them the sea from the foot of the cliff stretching away as far as the eye could discern anything at all in the distance with sails as white and as small as nicely got up handkerchiefs the were delightful the ale better and the captain even more pleasant than either mrs captain waters was in spirits after lunch chasing first the captain across the turf and among tile flower pots and then mr i and then miss and laughing too quite but as the captain said it didn t matter who knew what were there for all the people of the house knew they might be common people to which mr joseph responded to be sure and they went down the steep wooden steps a little further on which led to the bottom of the cliff and looked at the and the and the till it was more than fully time to go back to again finally mr ascended the steps last and mrs captain waters last but one and mr discovered that the foot and of mrs captain waters were even more than he had at first supposed taking a donkey towards his ordinary place of residence is a very different thing and a feat much more easily to be than taking him from it it requires a great deal of foresight and presence of mind in the one case to anticipate the numerous flights of his imagination whereas in the other all you have to do is to hold on and place a blind confidence in the animal mr adopted the latter expedient on his return and his nerves were so little by the journey that he distinctly understood they were all to meet again at the library in the evening the library was crowded there were the same ladies and the same gentlemen who had been on the sands in the morning and on the pier the day before there were young ladies in coloured gowns and black velvet fancy articles in the shop and over games of chance in the concert room there were daughters and marriage making and and turning over music and there were some male doing the sentimental in whispers and others doing the ferocious in moustache there were mrs in miss in mrs captain waters in pink there was captain waters in a there was mr in and a gilt waistcoat there was mr joseph in a blue coat and a shirt numbers three eight and eleven cried one of the young ladies in the coloured gowns numbers eight and eleven echoed another young lady in the same uniform number three s gone said the first young lady numbers eight and eleven i numbers eight and eleven echoed the second young lady number eight s gone mary ann said the first young lady number eleven i screamed the second sketches by ladies if you please said the first the representatives of numbers three eight and eleven and the rest of uie numbers crowded round the table will you throw ma am said the goddess handing the box to uie eldest daughter of a stout lady with four girls there was a profound silence among the on throw jane my dear said the stout lady an interesting display of a httle blushing in a a whispering to a younger sister my dear throw for your sister said the stout lady and then she turned to a walking advertisement of s oil who stood next her and said jane is so very modest and retiring but i can t be angry with her for it an and girl is ao truly amiable that i often wish was more like her sister the gentleman with the whiskers his admiring approval now my dear said the stout lady miss threw eight for her sister ten for herself nice figure whispered the stout lady to a thin youth beside her beautiful i and a spirit i am like you in that respect i can not help admiring that life and vivacity ah a sigh i wish i could make poor jane a little more like my dear i the young gentleman cordially in the sentiment both he and tlie individual first addressed were perfectly contented who s this i inquired mr of mrs captain waters as a short female in a blue velvet hat and feathers was led into the by a fat man in black and cloudy mrs of the london theatres replied referring to the oi tlie concert the having acknowledged the of hands and shouts of which greeted her appearance proceeded to sing the popular o bid me discourse accompanied on the piano by mr after which mr sang a comic song accompanied on the piano by mrs the applause consequent upon which wm only to be exceeded by the approbation bestowed upon an air with variations on the by mis accompanied on the chin bj master thus the evening passed
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the days and evenings of the s and the waters s for ax weeks sands in the at noon pier in the library at night and the sum people everywhere on that very night six weeks the moon was shining brightly the calm sea which dashed against the feet of the tall gaunt cliffs with just enough noise to lull the old fish to sleep without disturbing the ones when two figures were or would have been if anybody had looked for them seated on one ii the wooden benches which are stationed near the verge of the cliff the moon ha climbed higher into the heavens by two hours since those figures first down and yet they had moved not the crowd of had and dispersed the noise of had died away light after light had appeared in the windows of the different houses in the distance man after man had passed the spot his way towards his solitary post and yet those figures had stationary some portions of the two forms were in deep shadow but the light of the moon m strongly on a coloured boot and a glazed stock mr and mrs captain waters were on that bench they spoke not bat were silently gazing on tlie sea walter will i to morrow said mrs captain waters the s at mr sighed like a of wind through a forest of as he replied alas he will oh resumed the delight the calm happiness of this one week of love too much for me was to suggest that it was too little for him but he stopped himself and murmured and to think that of happiness innocent as it is exclaimed vi now to be lost for oh do not say exclaimed the as two strongly defined tears chased each other down his pale it was so long that there was plenty of room for a do not say for i must replied why urged oh why such acquaintance as ours is so harmless that even your husband can never object to it my husband i exclaimed you little know him jealous and ferocious in his re a in his jealousy would you be before my eyes mr in a voice broken by emotion expressed his to undergo the process of before the eyes of anybody then leave me said mrs captain waters leave me this night for it is late let us return mr sadly offered the lady his arm aud escorted her to her lodgings he paused at tlie door he felt a pressure of his hand good night he said hesitating good night sobbed the lady mr paused again won t you walk in sir i said the servant mr hesitated oh that hesitation he did walk in good night said mr again when he reached the drawing room good night replied and if at any period of my life i hush the lady paused aud stared with a steady gaze of horror on the countenance of mr there was a double knock at we street door it is my husband said as the captain s voice was heard below and my family i added as tlie voices of his relatives floated up the staircase the curtain the curtain gasped mrs captain waters pointing to the window before which some were closely drawn but i have done nothing wrong said the hesitating the curtain the frantic lady you will be murdered this last appeal to his feelings was irresistible the dismayed c mon concealed himself behind the curtain with suddenness enter the captain joseph mrs and my dear said the captain lieutenant slaughter two boots and one voice were heard by mr to advance and acknowledge the honour of the the of the lieutenant rattled heavily upon the floor as he seated himself at the table mr s fears almost overcame his reason the brandy my dear said the captain here was a situation they were going to make a night of it and mr was pent up behind tlie curtain and to breathe slaughter said the captain a cigar now mr never could smoke without feeling it necessary to retire immediately and never could smell smoke without a strong disposition to cough the cigars were introduced the captain was a professed so was the lieutenant so was joseph the apartment was small the door was closed the smoke ful it hung in heavy over the room and at length found its way behind the curtain s held his nose his mouth his breath it was all of no use out came q vi i sketches by bless my soul said the captain i beg your pardon miss you smoking v h no i don t indeed said it makes you cough oh dear no you just now me waters lor how can you say so somebody said the captain i thought so said slaughter no denied it fancy said the captain must be echoed slaughter cigars resumed more smoke another cough smothered but violent damned odd said the captain staring about him sing ejaculated tlie unconscious mr joseph lieutenant slaughter looked first at one person mysteriously then at another then laid down his cigar then approached the window on and pointed with his right thumb over his shoulder in the direction of the curtain slaughter the captain rising from table what do you mean the lieutenant in reply drew back the curtain and discovered mr behind it pallid with apprehension and blue with wanting to cough exclaimed the captain furiously what do i see slaughter your i screamed the s mercy said gasped your roared the captain j slaughter the villain s i life murder screamed the a hold him fast sir faintly water exclaimed joseph and mr and all the ladies forthwith faint l y formed a most willingly would we conceal tbe disastrous
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termination of the weeks acquaintance a troublesome form and an arbitrary custom however that a story should have a conclusion in addition to a commencement we have therefore no alternative lieutenant slaughter brought a message the brought an action mr joseph tu interposed the lieutenant when mr recovered from tiie nervous disorder into which affection and exciting ci had plunged him be found that his family had lost their pleasant acquaintance that his father was fifteen hundred pounds and the captain the precise the money was paid to hush the up but it got abroad notwithstanding and there are not wanting some who affirm that three never found more easy than did captain waters mrs waters and lieutenant slaughter in the s at chapter v ho my love he great attention on the assembly night said mrs addressing her who after the of the day in the city was sitting with a silk handkerchief over his head and his feet on the drinking his port very great attention and i say every possible encouragement ought to be given him he positively must be asked down here to dine who must inquired mr why you know whom i mean my dear the young man with the black whiskers and the white who has just come out at our assembly and whom all the girls are talking about young dear me i what s his name what is his name continued mrs addressing her youngest daughter who was engaged in a purse and looking sentimental mr ma replied miss with a sigh oh i yes to be sure said mrs decidedly the most gentleman like young man i ever saw i am sure in the beautifully made coat he wore the other night he looked like like like prince ma so noble so full of sentiment suggested in a tone of enthusiastic admiration you should recollect my dear resumed mrs th t is now eight and twenty and that it really is very important that something should be done miss was a very little g l rather fat with cheeks but good humoured and still disengaged although to do her justice the misfortune arose from no lack of perseverance on her part in vain had she for ten years in vain had mr and mrs kept up an extensive acquaintance among the young eligible of and even of and to say nothing of those who dropped in from town miss was as well known as the lion on the top of house and had an equal chance of going off i am quite sure you d like him continued mrs he is so gentlemanly i so clever said miss and has such a flow of language added miss he has a great respect for you my dear said to her husband mr and looked at the fire yes i m sure he s very much attached to pa s society said miss no doubt of it echoed miss indeed he said as much to me in confidence observed mrs well well returned mr somewhat flattered if i see him at the assembly to morrow perhaps i ask him down i hope he knows we live at oak lodge my dear of and that you keep a one horse carriage i ll see about it said mr himself for a nap i ll see about it mr was a man whose whole scope of ideas was limited to s the va s house k s e r sketches by ful speculations had raised him from a situation of obscurity and comparative poverty to a state of as frequently happens in such cases the ideas of himself and his family became elevated to an extraordinary pitch as their means increased they affected fashion taste and many other in imitation of their and had a very decided and becoming horror of anything could by possibility be considered law he was hospitable from from ignorance and prejudiced from conceit and the love of display induced him to keep an excellent table convenience and a love of good things of this life him plenty of guests he liked to have clever men or what he considered such at his table because it was a great thing to talk about but he never could endure what he sharp fellows probably he c feeling out of compliment to his two sons who gave their respected parent no uneasiness in that particular the family were ambitious of forming acquaintances and in some sphere of society superior to tliat in which they moved and one of the necessary consequences of this desire added to their utter ignorance of the world beyond their own small circle was that any one who could lay claim to an acquaintance with people of rank and had a sure to the table at oak lodge the appearance of mr at the assembly had no small degree of surprise and curiosity among its regular who could he be he was reserved and melancholy was he a clergyman t he danced too well a he said he was not called he used very fine words and talked a great deal could he be a distinguished foreigner come to england for the purpose of describing the country its manners and customs and public balls and public with the view of becoming with high life po e and english refinement no he had not a foreign accent was be a surgeon a to the magazines a writer of fashionable novels or an artist i no to each and all of these there existed some objection then said every body he must be somebody should think he must be reasoned mr with himself because he oar superiority and so much attention the night succeeding the tion we have just recorded assembly night the double fly was ordered to be at the door of oak
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lodge at nine o clock precisely the were dressed in sky blue satin trimmed with and mrs m who was a t in looked like eldest daughter multiplied by two mr the son in full dress costume was the very beau of a smart waiter and mr thomas the youngest with his white dress stock blue coat bright buttons and red watch strongly resembled the portrait of that interesting bat rash george member of the party had made up his or mind to cultivate the acquaintance of mr miss of course was to be as amiable and as ladies of eight and twenty on the look out for i husband usually are mrs would be all smiles and would request the favour d some verses for her mr would the great no known by asking him to dinner tom intended to ascertain the extent of his information on the interesting topics of snuff and cigars mr himself the family authority on all points of taste dress and fashionable arrangement who had lodgings of his own in who had a free admission to garden theatre who always according to the of tbe months who went up the water b w nd who actually v had an friend who once knew a gentleman who formerly in the even he had determined that mr must be a devilish good fellow and that he would do him e honour of him to a game at the first object that met the anxious eyes of the expectant family on their entrance into the ball room was the interesting with hia hair brushed c his forehead and his eyes fixed on the ceiling in a attitude on one of the there he is my dear whispered mrs to mr how like lord murmured miss or whispered miss or the portraits of captain cook suggested tom don t be an ass said his father who checked him on all occasions probably with a view to prevent his becoming sharp whidi was very unnecessary the elegant with effect until the family had crossed the room he then started up with the most natural appearance of surprise and delight mrs with the utmost cordiality saluted the young ladies in the most manner bowed to and shook hands with mr with a degree of respect almost to veneration and returned the greetings of the two young men in a gratified manner which fully convinced them that he must be an important and at the same time personage miss said after the ordinary and bowing very low may i be permitted to presume to hope that you will allow me to have the pleasure i t i am engaged said miss with a dreadful affectation of indifference but really so looked handsomely miserable i shall be most happy the interesting at last s countenance brightened up like an old hat in a shower of rain a very young man certainly said the gratified mr as the and his partner joined the which was just forming tie has a remarkably good address said mr yes he is a prime fellow interposed tom who always managed to put his foot in it he talks just like an tom i said his father solemnly i think i desired you before not to be a fool tom looked as happy as a cock on a how delightful i said the interesting to his partner as they the room at the conclusion of the set how delightful how refreshing it is to retire m m uie cloudy storms the and the troubles of life even if it be but for a few short fleeting moments and to spend those moments fading and though they be in the delightful the blessed society of one individual whose would be death whose coldness would be madness whose falsehood would be ruin whose constancy would be bliss the possession of whose affection would be the brightest and best reward that heaven could bestow on man i what feeling i what sentiment thought miss as she leaned more heavily on her companion s arm but enough enough resumed the elegant witli a air what have i said t what have i i to do with sentiments hke these i miss here he stopped short may i hope to be permitted to offer the humble tribute of really mr t f the vo sketches by sweetest confusion i must refer you to papa i never can without his consent venture to surely he cannot object ob yes indeed indeed you know him not interrupted miss well knowing there was nothing to fear but wishing to make the interview resemble a scene in some romantic novel he cannot object to my offering you a glass of returned the with some surprise is that all thought the disappointed what a fuss about nothing it will give me the greatest pleasure sir to see you to dinner at oak lodge on sunday next at five o clock if you have no better engagement said mr at the conclusion of the evening as he and his sons were standing in conversation with mr bowed his and accepted the flattering invitation i must confess continued the father offering his snuff box to bis new acquaintance that i don t enjoy these half so much as the comfort i had almost said the luxury of oak lodge they have no great charms for an elderly man and after all ar what is man said the i say what is man v ah very true said mr very true we know that we live and breathe continued that we have wants and wishes desires and said mr looking profound i we know tiiat we exist his voice but there we stop there is an end to our knowledge there is the summit of our there
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i thought of entering once myself indeed i m rather intimate with some of the highest ornaments of that distinguished profession n no said with a little hesitation not exactly but you have been much among the silk gowns or i mistake inquired nearly all my life returned the question was thus pretty well settled in the mind of mr he was a young gentleman about to be i like to be a said tom speaking for the first time and round the table to find somebody who would notice the remark no one made any reply i shouldn t like to wear a wig said tom another observation tom i beg you will not make yourself ridiculous said his father pray listen and improve yourself by the conversation you hear and don t be constantly making these absurd remarks very well father replied the unfortunate tom who had not spoken a word since he had asked for another of beef at a quarter past five o clock p m and it was then eight well tom observed his uncle never mind think with you i shouldn t like to wear a wig i d rather wear an apron mr mr resumed for if a man s above his business the cough returned with ten fold violence and did not cease until the unfortunate cause of it in his alarm had quite forgotten what he intended to say mr returning to the charge do happen to know mr of square i have exchanged cards with him since which indeed i have had an opportunity of serving him replied slightly ing no doubt at having been betrayed into making the acknowledgment you are very lucky if you have had an opportunity of obliging that great man observed with an air of profound respect i don t know who he is he whispered to mr as they followed up to the drawing room it s quite dear however that he belongs to the and that he is somebody of great importance and very highly connected no doubt no doubt returned his companion the remainder of the evening passed away most delightfully mr relieved from his bis by the circumstance of mr s falling into a profound sleep was as and gracious as possible played the fall of paris as mr declared in a most manner and both of them assisted by mr tried over and without number they having made the pleasing that voices beautifully to be sure they all san the first part and in addition to uie slight of having no ear was perfectly innocent of knowing a note of music still they passed the time very agreeably and it was past twelve o clock before mr ordered the coach looking to be brought out an order x only complied with oo the that he was to repeat his on ie sunday but perhaps mr will form one of our party to morrow evening suggested mrs m mr taking the girls to see the mr bowed and promised to join the party in box in the course of the we will not tax you for the morning said miss for ma is going to take us to all sorts of places i know that gentlemen have a great horror of that employment mr bowed again and declared that he should be delighted but business of importance occupied him in the morning looked at significantly it s term time he whispered at twelve o clock on the following morning the fly was at e door of oak lodge to convey mrs and her daughters on their expedition for the day they were to dine and dress for tiie play at a friend s house first driving thither with their band boxes they departed on their first errand to make some purchases at messrs jones and smith s of court road after which they were to go to s in bond street thence to innumerable places that no one ever heard of the young ladies the of the ride by mr scolding their mamma for taking them so far to save a shilling and wondering whether they should ever reach their destination at length the vehicle stopped before a dirty looking linen s shop with goods of all kinds and of all sorts and sizes in the window there were figures of seven with a little three in the comer perfectly invisible to the naked eye three hundred and fifty thousand ladies rom one shilling and a penny half penny real french kid woes at two and per pair green no q at an equally cheap rate and every description of goods as the said and they must know best fifty per cent under lor what a place you have brought us to i said miss what would mr say if ho could see us ah i what indeed said miss at the idea pray be seated ladies what is the first article inquired the master of the ceremonies of the establishment who in his large white and formal tie looked like a bad portrait of a gentleman house exhibition i want to see some answered mrs directly ma am mr where is mr smith here sir cried a voice at the back of the shop pray make haste mr smith the m c you never are to be found when you re wanted sir mr smith thus to use all possible leaped over the counter with great and placed himself before the newly arrived customers mrs uttered a faint scream miss who had been stooping down to talk to her sister raised her head and beheld we will draw a veil as novel writers say over the scene that ensued the mysterious philosophical romantic he who to the interesting seemed like the embodied idea of the young and poetical in blue silk dressing gowns and slippers of whom she had
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read and dreamed but had never expected to behold was suddenly converted into mi samuel smith the assistant at a cheap shop the junior partner in a slippery firm of some three weeks existence the dignified of the hero of oak lodge on this unexpected recognition could only be equalled by that of a a x ki sketches bt the hopes of the were destined at once to melt away like the at a company s dinner was still to them as distant as the north pole and miss had as much chance of a husband as captain had of the north west passage years have elapsed since the occurrence of this dreadful morning the have thrice on green the an ow s thrice repeated their in grove but tlie are s case is more desperate than ever but is jet in the of his reputation and the family have the same pre for aristocratic with an increased aversion to anything low the black t il chapter vi the black winter s towards the close of the year or within a year or two of tliat time a young medical recently established in business was seated by a cheerful fire in his little parlour listening to the wind which was beating the rain in drops against the window and rambling in the chimney the night was wet and cold he had been walking through mud and water the whole day and was now comfortably in his and slippers more than half asleep and less than half awake re a thousand matters in his imagination first he how hard the wind was blowing and how the cold sharp rain would be at that moment beating in his face if he were not comfortably at home then his mind to his annual christmas to his native place and dearest friends he thought how glad they would all be to see him and how happy it would make rose if he could only tell her that be had found a patient at last and hoped to have more and to come down again in a few months time and her and take her home to his lonely fireside and him to exertions then he began to wonder when his first patient would appear or whether he was destined by a special of providence never to have any at all and he thought about rose again and dropped to sleep and about her till tlie tones of her sweet merry voice sounded in his ears and her soft tiny hand rested on his shoulder there was a hand upon his shoulder but it was neither soft nor tiny its owner being a round headed boy who in consideration of the sum of one shilling per week and his food was let out by the parish to carry medicine and messages as there was no demand for the medicine however and no necessity for the messages he usually occupied his hours fourteen a day in drops taking animal nourishment and going to sleep a lady sir a lady i whispered the boy his master with a shake what cried our friend starting up not quite certain that his dream was an illusion and half expecting that it might be rose herself what i where i there air replied the boy pointing to the glass door leading into the with an expression of alarm which the very unusual apparition of a customer might have tended to excite the surgeon looked towards the door and started for on beholding the appearance of his for visitor it was a singularly tall woman dressed in deep mourning and standing so close to the door that her almost touched the glass the upper part of her figure was carefully muffled in a black shawl as if for the purpose of concealment and her face was by a thick black veil she stood perfectly erect her figure was drawn up to its full height and though the surgeon fell that the eyes beneath the veil were fixed on him she stood perfectly motionless and evinced by no gesture whatever the slightest consciousness of his having turned towards her do you wish to consult me he inquired with some hesitation holding open the door it opened and therefore the action did not alter the position of the figure which remained mo a ow v ck x s aj sketches by she slightly inclined her head in token of acquiescence pray walk in said the surgeon the figure moved a step forward and then turning its head in the direction of the boy to his infinite horror appeared to hesitate leave the room tom said the young man e ing the boy whose large round eyes had been extended to their utmost width during this brief interview draw the curtain and shut the door the boy drew a green curtain across the glass part of the door retired into the closed the door after him and immediately applied one of his large eyes to the on the other side the surgeon drew a chair to the fire and the visitor to a seat the mysterious figure slowly moved towards it as the blaze shone upon the black dress the surgeon observed that the bottom of it was with mud and rain you are very wet he said i am said the stranger in a low deep voice and you are ill added the surgeon for the tone was that of a person in pain i am was the reply very ill not bodily but mentally it is not for myself or on my own behalf continued the stranger that i come to you if i under bodily disease i should not be out alone at such an hour or on such a night as this and if i were afflicted wiu it twenty four hours hence god knows how i would lie
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or the custom house officer or some other interesting amateur you good creature said mrs addressing the gallant you really are a good soul you ve about the water party i know i should rather suspect i had replied mr triumphantly now come here girls and i tell you all about it miss and miss advanced to tlie table now continued mr mt seems to me that the best way will be to have a committee of ten to make all the arrangements and manage the whole set out then i propose tiiat the expenses shall be paid by these ten fellows excellent indeed said mrs who highly approved of this part of the arrangements then my is that each of these ten fellows shall have the power of asking five people there must be a meeting of the committee at my to make all the arrangements and these people shall be then named every member of the committee shall have the power of any one who is proposed and one black ball shall that person this will our having a pleasant party yon know what a manager you are interrupted mrs again charming said the lovely i never ejaculated yes i think it u do replied mr who was now quite in his element i think it do then you know we shall go down to the and back and have a regular capital cold dinner laid out in the cabin before we start so that everything may be ready without any confusion and we shall have the lunch laid out on deck in l those little looking concerns by the i don t know what you call em then we shall hire a steamer expressly for our party and a band and have the deck and we shall be able to dance all day and then whoever we know that s musical you know why they u make themselves useful and agreeable and and upon the whole i really hope we shall have a glorious day you know the announcement of these arrangements was received with the utmost enthusiasm mrs and were loud in their praises well but tell me said mrs who are the ten gentlemen to be i oh i i know plenty of fellows who be delighted with the scheme replied mr of course we shall have mr hardy i interrupted the servant announcing a visitor miss and miss hastily assumed the most interesting attitudes that could be adopted on so short a notice how are you said a stout gentleman of about forty pausing at the door in the attitude of an awkward this was mr hardy b sl sketches by have before described on the of mrs as the funny gentleman he was an joe miller a practical immensely popular with married ladies and a general favourite with young men he was always engaged in some excursion or other and in getting somebody into a scrape on such occasions he could sing comic songs imitate and fowls play airs on his chin and execute on the jew harp he always eat and drank most and was the bosom friend of mr he had a red face a somewhat voice and a tremendous laugh how are you t said this worthy laughing as if it were the finest joke in the world to make a morning call and shaking hands with the ladies with as much vehemence as if their arms had been so many pump handles you re just the very man i wanted said mr who proceeded to explain the cause of his being in ha ha shouted hardy after hearing the statement and receiving a detailed account of the proposed excursion h capital glorious what a day it will be what fun but i say when are you going to begin making the arrangements no time like the present at once if you please oh charming cried the ladies pray do writing materials were laid before mr and the names of the different members of the committee were agreed on after as much discussion between him and mr hardy as if the fate of nations had depended on their appointment it was then agreed that a meeting should take place at mr s chambers on the wednesday evening at eight o clock and the visitors departed wednesday evening arrived eight o clock came and eight members of the committee were punctual in he t attendance mr the of court sent an excuse and mr samuel the of sent his brother much to his the brother s satisfaction and greatly to the discomfiture of mr between the and the there existed a de of hatred quite the between the and was nothing to that which prevailed between these two illustrious houses mrs was a widow with three daughters and two sons mr samuel the eldest was an attorney and mr alexander the youngest was under articles to his brother they resided in street oxford street ind moved in the same as the hence their mutual dislike if the miss appeared in smart the miss them with if mrs appeared in a cap of all the hues of the rainbow mrs forthwith mounted a with all the of the if miss learnt a new song two of the miss came out with a new the had once gained a temporary triumph with the assistance of a harp but the brought three into the field and effectually the enemy there was no end to the between them now as mr samuel i mere machine a sort of self legal walking stick and as the party was known to have originated with mrs the female branches of the had arranged that mr should attend instead of his brother and as the said mr alexander ins celebrated for all the of a combined with the obstinacy of that useful which on the he
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required but little he was to make himself as able as possible and above as to the steam i n black ball the at every hazard the proceedings of the evening were opened by mr after urging on the gentlemen present the propriety of their mixing some brandy and water he briefly stated the object of the meeting and concluded by observing that the first step must be the selection of a necessarily possessing some arbitrary he trusted not to whom the personal direction of the whole of the arrangements subject to the approval of the committee should be confided a pale young gentleman in a green stock and spectacles of the same a member of tne honourable society of the inner temple immediately rose for the purpose of proposing mr he had known him long and this he would say that a more honourable a more excellent or a better hearted fellow never existed hear hear the young gentleman who was a member of a society took this opportunity of entering into an examination of tne state of the english law from the days of william the conqueror down to the present period he briefly to the code established by the ancient slightly glanced at the principles laid down by the and concluded with a most glowing on and constitutional rights mr alexander opposed the motion he had the esteem for mr as an individual but he did consider that he ought not to be with these immense powers oh oh he believed that m the proposed capacity mr would not act fairly or but he begged it to be distinctly understood that he said this without the slightest personal mr hardy defended his honourable friend in a voice rendered partially unintelligible by emotion and brandy and water the proposition was put to the vote and there appearing to be only one voice mr was declared duly elected and took the chair accordingly the business of the meeting now proceeded witli rapidity the delivered in his estimate of the probable expense of the excursion and every one present his proportion thereof the question was put that the endeavour be hired for the occasion mr alexander moved as an that the word fly be for the word endeavour but after some debate consented to withdraw his opposition the important ceremony of then commenced a tea was placed on a table in a dark comer of the apartment and every one was provided with two men one black and one white the with solemnity then read the list of the guests whom he proposed to introduce mrs and two daughters mr mr the names were for and mrs and her daughters were declared to be black mr and mr hardy exchanged glances is your list prepared mr inquired the it is replied alexander delivering in the following mrs and three daughters mr samuel the previous ceremony was repeated and mrs and three daughters were declared to be mr alexander looked rather foolish and the remainder of the company appeared somewhat bv the mysterious nature of the proceedings the ba proceeded but one little circumstance which mr had not originally foreseen prevented the system from working quite as well as he had anticipated everybody was black mr alexander by way of power of va sketches by every and the result was that after three hours had been consumed in hard the names of only three gentlemen were found to have been agreed to in this what was to be done i either the whole plan must fall to the ground or a compromise must be effected the latter alternative was and mr therefore proposed that the form of should be with and that every gentleman should merely be required to state whom he intended to bring the proposal was to the and the were j and the party was formed the next wednesday was fixed for the day and it was resolved that every member of the committee should wear a piece of blue ribbon round his left arm it appeared from the statement of mr that the boat belonged to the general steam company and was then lying off the custom house and as he proposed that the dinner and should be provided by an eminent city it was arranged that mr should be on board by seven o clock to the arrangements and that the remaining members of the committee together with the company generally should be expected to join her by nine o clock more brandy and water was despatched several speeches were by the different law students present thanks were to the and the meeting separated the weather had been beautiful up to this period and beautiful it continued to be sunday passed over and mr became unusually rushing constantly to and from the steam packet wharf to the astonishment of the clerks and the great of the tuesday arrived and the anxiety of mr knew no bounds he was every instant running to the window to look out for clouds and mr hardy astonished tlie whole square a new comic wm fur the occasion in the s uneasy were the of mr that night he tossed and tumbled about and had confused dreams of om gigantic with the han pointing to a quarter past nine and the face of mr alexander over the boat s side and grinning as u in derision of his attempts to move he made a violent effort to get on board and awoke the bright sun was shining cheerfully into the bed room and mr started up for his in the expectation of finding his dreams it was just five o clock he the he should be a good half hour dressing himself and as it was a lovely morning and the tide would be then running down he would walk leisurely to strand lane and have a boat to the custom house he
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two families were the friends in the world of each wishing the other overboard as they most sincerely did mr received the visitors and bowed to the strange gentleman as if he should like to know who he was this was just what mis wanted here was an opportunity to astonish the oh i beg your pardon said the general of the party with a careless air captain mr mn captain mr bowed very low the gallant captain did the same with all due ferocity and the clearly overcome our friend mr unfortunately prevented from resumed i did myself the pleasure of bringing the captain whose musical talents i knew would be a great acquisition in the name of the committee i have to thank you for doing so and to offer you welcome sir replied here the was renewed but pray be seated won t you walk aft i captain will you conduct miss i miss will you allow me where could they have picked up that military man inquired mis of miss as followed the uttle part i can t imagine replied miss bursting with vexation for the very fierce air with which the captain regarded the company had impressed her with a high sense of bis importance boat after boat came alongside and guest after guest arrived the had been arranged mr having considered it as important that the number of men should exactly with mat the young ladies as that the quantity of knives on board should be in precise proportion to the forks now is every one on board inquired mr tbe committee who with their bits of blue ribbon looked as if they were su the steam excursion ing to be about to the fact and reported that might safely start go on cried the master of the sat from the top of one of the ro on echoed the boy who was oyer the to pass the down to the engineer and went the vessel with that agree le noise which is peculiar to id which is composed of a mixture creaking and oi o i i i shouted half a dozen voices om a boat a quarter of a mile ease her cried the captain do these people belong to us sir f exclaimed hardy who been looking at every object far id near through the large fa the and the wake and two children with them by i to bring children id everybody how very i say it would be a good joke to not to see em wouldn t it hardy to the immense de of the company generally a of war was hastily held and it is resolved that the new comers be taken on board on mr s solemnly himself to the children during the whole the day stop her cried the captain stop her repeated the boy went the steam and all the ladies as in duty bound in concert they were only by the assurance of the that the escape of consequent on stopping a vessel as seldom attended with any great ss of human life two men ran to the side and after me shouting and swearing and for the with a k mr and mrs and master fl and mr no and mrs and miss were safely deposited on the deck the girl was about six years old the boy about four tiie former was dressed in a white frock with a pink and dog s httle a straw bonnet and green veil six inches by three and a the latter was attired for the occasion in a frock between the bottom of which and the top of his a considerable portion of two small legs was he had a light blue cap with a gold band and on his head and a damp piece of in his hand with which he had slightly his countenance the boat once more started off the band played off she goes the major part of the company conversed cheerfully in groups and the old up and down the deck in pairs as and gravely as if they were doing a match against time for an immense stake they ran briskly down the pool the gentlemen pointed out the the thames police office and other elegant public and the young ladies exhibited a proper display of horror at the appearance of the coal and mr hardy told stories to the married ladies at which they laughed very much in their pocket handkerchiefs and hit him on the with their declaring him to be a naughty man a shocking creature and so forth and captain gave slight descriptions of battles and with a most air which made him the admiration of the women and the envy of the men commenced captain danced one set with miss and another set with miss mrs was in the victory appeared to be complete but alas the of man i having performed this necessary duty he attached himself solely to miss with whom he danced no less than three sets sketches bt ke bo of um n one or two on tbe jews ud tiie joke at a on the back some mr f ca a et d hope that some of friends ou the j hj a of abilities he said in a toy manner will oblige os mrs s lighted np for the captain only and sing with j bnt one of her said warlike i be oh pray do cried all the ladies miss have yon any objection to join in a oh not the the lady in a tone which dearly showed she the greatest possible objection shall i accompany yon dear one of the miss with the bland intention of the effect very obliged to yon sharply retorted mrs who saw the my daughters always sing
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without and without voices mrs in a low tone perhaps said mrs for she guessed the tenor of the observation though she had not heard it clearly perhaps it would be as well for some people if their voices were not quite so audible as they are to other people and perhaps if gentlemen who are to pay attention to some persons daughters had not sufficient to pay attention to other persons daughters returned mrs some persons would not be so ready to that id temper god from other persons ed mrs persons relied mrs mr who was one of e very few by whom dialogue bad been hush pray for tiie after a great deal of preparatory aad the captain began the following from the opera of paid and in tint tone in which a man gets down heaven knows where without the remotest of ever getting np again this in private is a bass voice m n bright flames b of d aj yon ore the varied ts ei here the singer was interrupted by varied cries of the most dreadful description proceeding from some grove in the immediate vicinity of the box my screamed mrs my it is his i know it mr accompanied by several gentlemen here rushed to tile quarter from whence the noise proceeded and an exclamation of burst from tbe company the general impression being that the little innocent had either got his head in the water or his legs in the machinery what is the matter the father as he returned with the child in his arms oh oh i oh screamed the small sufferer again what is the matter dear inquired the father once more hastily off the frock fear the purpose of the had one bone which was not smashed to i the oh i oh i m frightened i what at dear t at the mother soothing the sweet oh he s been making dreadful faces at me cried the he who i cried crowding round him oh i him the pointing at hardy who to be the most concerned of the whole group the i al state of the case at once flashed upon the minds of all present with the exception of the and the the hardy in fulfilment of his promise had watched the child to a remote part of the vessel and suddenly appearing before him with the most awful of had produced his of terror of course he now observed that it was hardly for him to deny the accusation ana the unfortunate little victim was accordingly led below after receiving sundry on the head om both his parents having the wickedness to tell a story this little interruption having been the captain resumed and miss in in due course the was loudly applauded and certainly the perfect independence of the parties deserved great miss sung her part without the slightest reference to the and tiie captain so loud that he had not the idea what was being done by his partner after having gone through the last few eighteen or nineteen bars by himself therefore he acknowledged the of the circle with that air of self denial which men usually assume when they think they have done something to astonish the company now said mr who had just ascended from the where he had been busily engaged in the wine if the will oblige us with some ing before dinner i am sure we shall be very much delighted one of those of the suggestion which one frequently hears in society when nobody has the most distant notion what he is expressing his approval of the three looked modestly at their mamma and the looked at her daughters and mrs looked scornfully at all of them the asked for their and several gentlemen seriously the cases in their anxiety to present them then there was a very interesting production of three keys for the cases and a expression of horror at finding a string broken and a vast deal of and and winding and during which mrs to those near her on the immense difficulty of playing a hinted at the wondrous of her in that mystic art mrs whispered to a neighbour that it was quite sickening and the looked as if they knew how to play but to do it at length the began in real earnest it was a new spanish composition for three voices and three the effect all eyes were turned upon the captain who was reported to have once passed through spain with his regiment and who must be well acquainted with the national music he was in this was sufficient the was the applause was universal and never had th such a complete defeat ejaculated the captain pretty isn t it sir inquired mr samuel with the air of a self satisfied by the by these were the first words he liad been heard to utter since he left the evening before returned the captain with a flourish and a military cough i sweet instrument an old gentleman with a head sketches by been trying all the morning to look through a inside the glass of which mr hardy had fixed a large black did you ever hear a inquired that individual did you ever hear a tom tom sir sternly inquired the captain who lost no opportunity of showing off his travels real or pretended a what asked hardy rather taken torn never nor a never what m a eagerly inquired several young ladies when i was in the east indies replied the captain here was a discovery he had been in the east indies when i was in the east indies i was once stopping a miles up the country on a visit at the house of a very particular friend of mine ham al a devilish
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pleasant fellow as we were enjoying our one evening in the cool in front of his villa we were rather surprised by the sudden appearance of thirty four of his ma for he had rather a lai ge establishment there accompanied by an equal number of con approaching the house with a threatening aspect and beating a the ram started up who inquired the bald gentleman intensely interested the ram oh said the old gentleman i beg your pardon pray go on started up and drew a pistol said he my boy he always called me my boy said he do you hear that tom tom i do said i his countenance which before was pale assumed a most frightful appearance his whole was distorted and his frame shaken by violent emotions do you see that said he no said i staring about me t said he no i be damned if i do i and what s more i don t what a is said i i really thought the ram would have dropped he drew me aside and with an expression of i shall never forget said in a low whisper dinner s on the table ladies interrupted the s wife will you allow me said the captain the action to the word and miss to the cabin with as much ease as if he had finished the story what an extraordinary circumstance ejaculated the same old gentleman preserving his attitude what a traveller said the young ladies what a singular name exclaimed the gentlemen rather confused by the coolness of the whole affair i wish he had finished the story said an old lady i wonder what a really is by jove hardy who until now had been lost in utter amazement i don t know what it may be in india but in england i think a has very the same meaning as a hum how how envious cried everybody as they made for the cabin fully impressed with a belief in the captain s amazing adventures was the sole lion for the remainder of the day impudence and the marvellous are pretty sure to any society the party had by this time reached their destination and put about on their return home the wind which had been with them the whole day was now directly in their teeth the weather had become gradually more and more and the sky water and shore were all of that heavy uniform lead colour wliich house painters in the first instance over a street door which is gradually approaching a state of it had been with rain for the last half hour and now began to the steam excursion d earnest the wind was very fast and the el had ex i opinion that there would a slight emotion rt of the now and k to suggest the possibility ing to a very uncomfortable the event of its blowing id every timber began to the boat were an sea sickness however in ghosts every one some on the at few acknowledge majority of the company endeavoured to look feeling all the while it rain inquired the old before noticed when by and they at table it does a httle replied who could hardly speak in consequence on the deck it inquired some don t think it does sincerely wishing that himself that it did sat near the door and was off his seat clear up said mr in a cheerful tone ejaculated the generally it of it said the remainder whose attention was f well engrossed by the of eating carving i and so forth motion of the engine perceptible there was cold boiled leg of the bottom of the table a previously in of beef looked as if it suddenly seized with the some tongues which were rather too large for i through the most darting from side to side and from end to end like a fly in an wine glass then the sweets shook and trembled till it was quite impossible to help them and people gave up the attempt in despair and the pigeon looked as if the birds whose legs were stuck outside were trying to get them in the table and started like a feverish pulse and the very legs were everything was shaking and the beams in the roof of the cabin seemed as if they were put there for the sole purpose of giving people and several elderly gentlemen became ill tempered in consequence as fast as the steward put the fire irons up they would fall down again and the more the ladies and gentleman tried to sit comfortably on seats the more the seats seemed to slide away from the ladies and gentlemen several ominous demands were made for small glasses of brandy the countenances of the company gradually most extraordinary changes one gentleman was observed suddenly to rush from table without the slightest reason and dart up the steps with incredible swiftness thereby greatly both himself and the steward who happened to be coming down at the same moment the cloth was removed uie was laid on the table and the glasses were filled the motion of the boat increased several of the party began to feel vague and misty and looked as if they had only just got up the young gentleman with the spectacles who had been in a state for some time at one k moment bright and at another dismal like a revolving light on the sea coast announced his wish to propose a toast after several ineffectual attempts to preserve his perpendicular the young gentleman having managed to hook himself to the centre leg of the table with his left hand proceeded as follows ladies and gentlemen a gentleman is among by here some painful thought seemed to strike the orator he paused and looked extremely odd whose talents whose whose
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i beg your pardon hastily interrupted mr hardy what s the matter t nothing replied the funny gentleman who had just life enough left to utter two will you have some brandy no replied hardy in a tone of great indignation and looking as as temple bar in a scotch mist what should i want brandy for will you go on deck no i wiu not this was said with a most determined air and in a voice which might have been taken for an imitation of anything it was quite as much like a guinea pig as a i beg your pardon said the courteous i thought our friend was ill pray go on a pause pray go on mr is gone cried somebody i beg your pardon sir said the steward running up to mr i beg your pardon sir but the gentleman as just went on deck him with the green spectacles is uncommon bad to be sure and the young man as played the says that unless he has some brandy he can t answer for the consequences he says he has a wife and two children whose on breaking a and he expects to do so every moment the s been ill but he s better only he s in a dreadful all disguise was now useless the company ed on deck the gentlemen tried to see but the clouds and the and as they had brought with them lay about on the seats and the seats in the most wretched condition never waa such a and and and endured by any pleasure party bi several were sent below on the subject of master wood but they were totally consequence of the natural that child screamed at the top of his until he had no voice left to ae with and then miss and screamed for the of the passage mr hardy was ome an attitude which his friends to suppose that he busily engaged in beauties of the de they that his taste for the picture should lead him to ao loi position very injurious at all t but especially so to an under a tendency of the head the party arrived off the cm house at about two o clock oi thursday morning worn out the were t to quarrel with the were too wretched to a the one of the lost on its passage to a had coach and mrs has to state that uie a porter to throw it dow area mr alexander op vote by he says from per experience of its and samuel whenever he is i to express his sentiments on the says he has no opinion on that oi subject mr the young in the green spectacles speech on every occasion on speech can possibly be made thi of which can only be by its length in the event of hi being previously appointed to a ji ship it is probable he will as a in the new ce criminal court captain continued his a to miss m have the steam excursion had not unfortunately happened that mr samuel arrested him in the way of to instructions received from messrs and whose town debts the gallant captain had condescended to collect but whose accounts with the sometimes peculiar to military mi s he had omitted to keep with that accuracy which custom has rendered necessary mrs that she has been much deceived in him he introduced himself to the family on board a and certainly therefore ought to have proved respectable mr is as light hearted and careless as ever sketches by chapter viii the great the little town of great is exactly forty two miles and three quarters from park comer it has a long straggling quiet wi a great and w te clock at a red town hall up a market place a cage an assembly room a church a bridge a chapel a theatre a library an inn a and a post office tradition tells of a little down some cross road about two miles off and as a square mass of dirty paper supposed to have been originally for a letter with certain tremulous characters inscribed in which a lively imagination might trace a remote resemblance to the word little was once stuck up to be owned in the sunny window of the great post office from which it only disappeared when it fell to pieces with dust and extreme old age there would appear to be some foundation for the legend common belief is inclined to bestow the name upon a little hole at the end of a muddy lane about a couple of miles long by one four and a beer shop but even authority slight as it is must be regarded with extreme suspicion inasmuch as the inhabitants of the hole in that it never had any name at all from the earliest ages down to the present day the arms in the centre of the high street opposite the small building with the big clock is the principal inn of great the commercial inn house and office the blue house at election and the judges house at every it is the head quarters of the gentlemen s of so ia opposition to the ont a of held at the other house a little further down and whenever a or wax work man or takes great in his circuit it is immediately all over the town that mr so and so to that liberal support the of great have long been so liberal in has at a great engaged uie e and assembly rooms attached to the the house is a large one with a red brick and stone front a spacious hall ornamented with plants in a perspective view of the bar and a glass ease in which
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are displayed a choice variety of r y for to catch the eye of a new comer the moment he enters and excite his appetite to the highest possible pitch opposite doors a to the coffee and commercial rooms and a great wide rambling staircase three stairs and a landing four stairs and another landing one step and another landing half a dozen stairs and another and so on to galleries of and of sitting rooms private where you may enjoy yourself as privately as you can in place where some bewildered being walks into your room five minutes by mistake and then walks out again to open all the doors along the gallery until he finds his own such is the arms at this day and such was the win arms some time since no matter when two or three minutes before the arrival of the london stage four horses with change for a coach were standing quietly at the i by a the great group of post boys in shiny hats and engaged in discussing the merits of the cattle half a dozen ragged boys were standing a little apart listening with evident interest to the conversation of these and a few were collected round the horse awaiting the arrival of the coach the day was hot and sunny the town in the of its and with the exception of these few not a living creature was to be seen suddenly the loud notes of a broke the monotonous stillness of the street in came the coach rattling over the with a noise startling enough to stop even the large faced clock itself down got the up went the windows in all directions out came the op started the and the and the post boys and the ragged boys as if they were and and and dragging willing horses out and forcing reluctant horses in and making a most bustle lady inside here said the guard please to alight ma am said the waiter private sitting room the certainly ma am responded the nothing bat these ere trunks ma am inquired the guard nothing more replied the lady up got the again and the guard and the coachman off came the with a jerk all right was the cry and away they went the lingered a minute or two in the road watching the coach until it turned the comer and then away one by one the street was clear again and the town by contrast than ever lady in number twenty five screamed the landlady thomas yes ma am letter just been left for the gentleman in number nineteen boots at the lion left it no answer letter for vou sir said thomas the letter on number nineteen s table for me said number nineteen turning from the window out of which he had been surveying the scene just described yes sir speak in hints and never utter complete sentences yes sir boots at the lion tr bar sir said number nineteen sir alexander esq sir your card at the bar sir i think sir i my name u replied number nineteen breaking the seal you may go waiter the waiter pulled down the window blind and then pulled it up again for a regular waiter must do something before he leaves the room adjusted the glasses on the brushed a place that was not dusty rubbed his hands very hard walked stealthily to the door and there was evidently something in the contents of the letter of a nature if not unexpected certainly extremely disagreeable mr alexander laid it down and took it up again and walked about the room on particular squares of the carpet and even attempted though to whistle an air it wouldn t do he threw himself into a and rod the aloud lion and morning sir immediately on discovering intentions i left our and followed you i know the purport of your journey that journey shall never be completed i have no friend here just now on whose i can rely this shall be no obstacle to my revenge neither shall brown be exposed to the of a scoundrel odious in her eyes and contemptible in every body else s nor will i submit to the attacks of a base umbrella maker sir great win fc fir e x sketches by meadows to a retired spot known to the as s acre mr i shall be waiting there alone at twenty minutes before six o to morning should i be in seeing you there i will do myself the pleasure of calling with a there is a s in the high street and they wont sell dark you understand me you had better not order breakfast in the morning until you hate met me it may be an expense desperate minded i knew how it would be ejaculated the ter i always told father that once start me on expedition and hunter would pursue me like the wandering jew it s bad enough as it is to with the old people s commands and without the girl s consent but what will think of me if i go down there breathless with running away from this infernal what shall i do t what can i do if i go back to the city i m disgraced for ever lose the girl and what s more lose the money too if i did go on to the by the coach hunter would be after me in a post chaise and if i go to this place this s acre another shudder i m as good as dead i ve seen him hit the man at the pall in the ee md button of me waistcoat five times out of every and when ke didn t
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hit him there he hit him in the head this mr alexander again ejaculated what long and weary were his as burying in his hands he sat on the best course to be pursued mental pointed te london he thought of the s anger and the loss of the fortune which the paternal brown had promised the paternal his daughter should contribute to the of his son thai the words to brown s were inscribed on the said direction post but hunter s in his ears last of all it bore in red letters the words to s acre and then mr alexander decided on a plan which he presently first and foremost he despatched the under boots to blue lion and stomach warm with a gentlemanly note to hunter that he for his destruction and would do himself of him next mornings without he then wrote another letter and re ue ted the attendance of the other boots for they kept a pair a modest knock at the room door was heard come in said mr a man thrust in a red head with one eye in it and being again desired to come in brought in the body and to which the head belonged and a cap which belonged to the l d you are the upper ts i think inquired mr yes i am the upper boots replied a from inside a case with mother of pearl that is i m the boots as b te the house the other man a ray man as goes errands and does odd top boots and half boots i calls us you re from london mr a cab once wa the reply why don t you drive it now v asked mr over the cab and over a replied the top with do you know the mayor s house inquired replied tiie boots significantly as if he had some good reason to remember it do you think you could manage to leave a letter there shouldn t boots the great fc this letter said holding ned note with a hand and five in er this letter is what interrupted the boots he s not to know comes from i see responded the lar knowing wink but without g the slightest to the i see o eh and his one eye wandered he room as if in quest of a dark and box but he continued recalling the eye s search and bringing it to bear i say he s a lawyer and in the county i ve a spite i him d not bum his house m if i don t think it would be the t favour you could do chuckled inwardly r alexander had been in situation his first act would ben to the man down stairs or in other words to ring and desire the landlord to s boots off he contented with the fee that the letter merely to a breach of the peace the ts retired solemnly pledged to and mr alexander vn to a sole and with composure than he had since the receipt of r s letter of defiance lady who alighted from the coach had no sooner been number twenty five and ome alteration in her she a note to n and mayor at his attendance on private that worthy time in obeying for after of his eyes divers tions of bless me and other stations of surprise he took his hat from its accustomed in his little front office and walked briskly down the high street to the arms through the hall and up the staircase of which establishment he was ushered by the land lady and a crowd of to the door of number twenty five show the gentleman in said the lady in reply to the foremost waiter s announcement the gentleman was shown in accordingly the lady rose from the so the advanced a step from the door ana there they both ed a minute or two k at one another as if by mutual consent the saw before him a richly dressed female f about forty the lady looked upon a sleek man about ten years older in and black coat and gloves miss manners exclaimed the mayor at length you astonish me that miss for i have known you long enough not to be surprised at anything you do and you might extend equal courtesy to me but to run away actually run with a young man the mayor you wouldn t have me actually run away with an old one i presume was the cool and then to ask me of au people in the world a man of my age and appearance mayor of the town to promote such a scheme ejaculated joseph throwing himself into ms arm chair and producing miss s letter from his pocket as if to the assertion that he liad been asked now replied the lady i want assistance in this matter and i must have it in the lifetime of that poor old dear mr who who was to have married you and didn t because he died first and who left you his with the addition of himself suggested the mayor well t ue i si t s sketches by slightly in the lifetime of the poor old dear the property had the of your management and all i will say of that is that i only wonder ii didn t die of consumption instead of its master you helped yourself then help me now mr joseph was a man of the world and an attorney and as certain indistinct recollections of an odd thousand pounds or two appropriated by mistake passed across his mind he hemmed smiled remained silent for a few seconds and finally inquired what do you wish me to do i u tell you
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cautious tone my said mr alexander in a loud key with the vacant and stare of a chilly hush hush said the cautious attorney to be sure quite right no tides here my name is sir yes the mayor of this place you sent me a letter with information this afternoon i sir with ill surprise for coward as he was he would willingly have the of the letter in question i sir yes you sir did you not responded annoyed with what he supposed to be an extreme degree of unnecessary suspicion either this letter is yours or it is not if it be we can converse securely upon the subject at once if it be not of course i have no more to say stay stay said it ia mine i did write it what could i do sir t it sketches by to be sure to be sure said the you not have managed it better well sir it will be for yon to leave here to night in a post and four and the harder the boys drive the better you are not from pursuit bless me exclaimed in an agony of apprehension can things happen in a like this such and cold blooded hostility he wiped off the essence of cowardice that was fast down his forehead and looked aghast at joseph it certainly is a very hard case replied the mayor with a smile that in a free country people can t marry whom they like without being hunted down as if they were however in the present instance the lady is willing yon know and that s the main point after all lady willing repeated mechanically how do you know the lady s t come that s a good one said the mayor tapping mr on the arm with his broad hat i have known her well for a long time and if anybody could entertain the remotest doubt on the subject i assure you i have none nor need you have dear me said mr this is very extraordinary well lord peter said the mayor rising lord peter repeated mr h ah i forgot mr then very good ha ha well sir the chaise shall be ready at half past twelve and what is to become of me until then t inquired mr wouldn t it save if i were placed under some restraint i ah replied very good thought capital idea indeed i ll send somebody up directly and if make a little resistance when we put you in the it wo ia a look as if yon didn t want be taken away you know to be sure said to i w my lord said ob i a low tone until then i wish a good evening ejaculated fro again falling back a step or two at in unutterable wonder on tl of the mayor ha ha i see my lord the madman t very good indeed vacant look capital my vm capital good evening mr ha ha that mayor s decidedly mr throwing self back in his chair in aa of reflection he is a much fellow i thought him that young he carries it off uncommonly thought as he went hi way to the bar there to complete h arrangements this was soon every word of the was believed and the one eyed w immediately instructed to number to the person of the supposed half past twelve o in of this direction that gentleman armed a walking of gigantic and with his usual of manner to mr s which he entered without m and mounted quietly himself on near tlie door where be pi to the time by air with great ap what do yon want scoundrel i exclaimed mr with a proper at the boots beat time as he looked gently a mile of pity aad do you attend in this q v the great at the man s de p to young calmly responded the boots on t say to nobody whistled again mind mr to keep up the farce of wishing at earnestness to fight a d let him i protest against here i deny that i have of fighting with anybody it b useless with numbers i shall sit quietly i d better observed the placid the large stick protest added himself with ion in his face but great heart under protest certainly responded the anything you please re i m transported only don t much it make yon worse ee me worse astonishment the i d better be quiet young remarked the boots going a threatening piece of the stick mad said mr rather leave the room sir and a to send somebody else n t do replied the boots e the room shouted the bell violently for he began on a new score ve that ere bell alone you d loo said the boots y forcing the unfortunate his chair and the ft be quiet you miserable md don t let everybody know a madman in the house is a madman he is a the terrified mr ing on the one eye of the led boots with a look of abject replied the boots le i think he i a madman with a vengeance listen to me you ah tap on the head with the large stick as mr another move towards tile bell handle i caught you did it spare my life raising his hands i don t want your life replied the boots though i think it ud be a charity if y took it no no it wouldn t interrupted poor mr hurriedly no no it wouldn t i i d rather keep it i o well said the boots that s a mere matter of taste
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one to his liking ever all i ve got to say is this here you sit quietly down in that chair and i sit yon here and if you keep quiet and don t stir i won t damage you but if you move hand or foot till twelve o clock i shall alter the expression of your countenance so completely that the next time you look in the glass you u ask you re gone out of town and ven you re likely to come back again so sit down i will i will responded the victim of mistakes and down sat mr and down sat the boots too exactly opposite him with the stick ready for action in case of emergency long and dreary were the hours that followed the bell of great church had just ten and two hours and a half would probably before arrived for half an hour the noise occasioned by shutting up the shops in the street beneath something like life in the town and rendered mr s situation a little less but when even these ceased and nothing was heard beyond the rattling of a post chaise as it drove up the yard to change horses and then drove away again or the of horses hoofs in the stables behind it became almost the boots occasionally moved an or two to knock superfluous bits of wax off tbe tt o t s sketches by ing low but resumed his former position and as he remembered to have heard somewhere or other that the human eye had an effect in mad people ne kept his organ of constantly fixed on mr alexander th t unfortunate individual stared at his companion in his turn until his features grew more and more indistinct his hair gradually less red and the room more misty and obscure mr alexander fell into a sound sleep from which he was awakened by a in the street and a cry of chaise and four for number twenty five a bustle on the stairs succeeded the was hastily thrown open and mr joseph entered followed by four stout and mrs the stout landlady of the arms mr exclaimed mr alexander jumping up in a frenzy look at man mr consider the situation in which i have been placed for three hours past the person you sent to guard me sir was a madman a madman a raging furious madman whispered poor dear said the compassion ate mrs mad people always thinks other people s mad dear ejaculated mr alexander what the devil do you mean by poor dear i are you the of this house yes yes replied the stout old lady don t exert yourself there s a dear consider your health now do exert myself shouted mr alexander t s a mercy ma am that i have any breath to exert myself with i might have been three hours ago by that one eyed monster with the head how dare you have a madman ma am how dare you have a to assault and the visitors to your house iii have another v mrs casting a look of reproach at the mayor capital whispered as he enveloped mr alexander in a thick cloak capital sir aloud it s horrible the very recollection makes me shudder i d rather fight four in three if i survived the first three than i d sit for that time face to with a madman keep it up my lord as you go down stairs whispered your is paid and your in the chaise and then he added aloud now waiter ihe gentleman s ready at this signal the crowded round mr took one arm another the other a third walked before with a candle the fourth behind with another candle the boots and mrs brought up rear and down stairs they went mr alexander expressing alternately at the very top of his voice either h feigned reluctance to go or his indignation at being shut up wiu a madman mr was waiting at the chaise door the boys were ready mounted and a few and stable were standing round to witness the departure of the mad gentleman mr alexander i foot was on the step when he which the dim light had prevented his doing before a figure seated in the chaise closely muffled up in a cloak like his own who s that he inquired of in a whisper hush hush replied the mayor the other party of course the other party exclaimed with an effort to retreat yes yes you soon find that out before you go far i should but make a noise you excite suspicion if you whisper to me so i won t go in chaise shouted mr alexander all his original fears with ke be i shall the great whispered i u push you in but i won t go exclaimed mr help here help they re carrying me away against my will this is a plot to murder me poor dear said mrs now boys pat em along cried the mayor pushing in and the door off with you as quick as you can and stop for nothing till you come to the next all right horses are paid tom screamed mrs and away went the chaise at the rate of fourteen miles an hour with mr alexander and miss manners carefully shut up in the inside mr alexander remained up in one comer of the chaise and his mysterious companion in the other for the first two or three miles mr more and more into his comer as he felt his companion gradually more and more from hers and vainly endeavouring in the darkness to catch a glimpse of the furious face of the supposed hunter we may speak now said his fellow traveller at length the post boys can
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fire and upset the tea and make all sorts of noises and it s sure to do sure sure i cried all the und and away hurried mr to wash the burnt cork off his face and the setting up of some of the amateur painted and never be admired scenery mrs was a kind vulgar soul fond of her husband and children and entertaining only three in the first place she had a natural to anybody else s unmarried daughters in the second she was in bodily fear of anything in the of ridicule lastly almost a necessary consequence of this feeling she regarded with feelings of the utmost horror one mrs joseph porter over the way however the good folks of and its vicinity stood very much in awe of scandal and sarcasm and thus mrs joseph porter was and flattered and and invited for much the same reason that a poor author without a in his pocket to behave with extraordinary civility to a two penny never mind ma said miss porter in with her respected relative and trying to look they had invited me you have allowed me to take part in an exhibition just what i should have thou t from your high sense of propriety returned the mother i am glad to see you know how to the proceeding miss p by had only the week before made an exhibition of herself for days behind a counter at a fancy hit to all and every of her majesty s subjects who were disposed to pay i shilling each for the privilege of some four dozen girls strangers and at shop there said porter look ing out of window there are rounds of beef and a ham going for and the cook says there have bee twelve dozen ordered and upon m word think of the miss i fancy dresses too i h it s too ridiculous miss porter i ll manage to put them a out of conceit with uie business hot ever said mrs porter and out di went on her charitable errand well my dear mrs said mrs joseph porter after the had been for some time an when by dint of ing had managed to extract a the news about the play well n dear people may say what they indeed we know will for son folks are to ill natured ah my miss how d ye do i i wi just telling your mamma that i hai heard it said that what mrs porter is alluding to tl play my dear said mrs he was i am sorry to say informing me that oh now pray don t mention it know that neither you nor ua interrupted porter it s mo absurd quite as absurd as what s his name saying he how miss with such a foot ai ankle could have the vanity to pit mrs joseph porter highly impertinent whoever said ity said mrs up certainly my dear in the delighted mrs porter most undoubtedly because as i said if miss play it follow as a matter of course that she should think she has a pretty foot and then such as these young men are he had the impudence to say that how far the amiable mrs porter might have succeeded in her pleasant purpose it is impossible to say had not the entrance of mr thomas mrs a brother familiarly called in the family uncle tom changed the course of conversation and suggested to her mind an excellent plan of operation on the evening of the play uncle tom was very rich and exceedingly fond of his and as a matter of course therefore he was an object of great importance in his own family he was one of the best hearted men in existence always in a good temper and always talking it was his boast that he wore top boots on all occasions and had never worn a black silk and it was his pride that he remembered all the principal plays of from beginning to and so he did the of this hke accomplishment was that he was not only perpetually quoting himself but that he could never sit by and hear a from the swan of without setting the unfortunate right he was something of a wag never missed an opportunity of saying what he considered a good thine and invariably laughed until he cried at anything that appeared to him mirth moving or ridiculous well said uncle tom after the preparatory ceremony of kissing and how d ye do ing had been gone through how d ye get on your parts eh my dear act ii scene i place cue unknown fate what s next eh go the oh yes said miss i recollect the heavens forbid but that our and comforts should increase as onr days do grow make a pause here and there said the old gentleman who was a great critic but that our loves and comforts should increase em ha is on the last syllable even one two three four then loud again as our days do grow emphasis on days that s the way my dear trust to your uncle for emphasis ah my boy how are you very well uncle returned mr who had just appeared looking something like a with a small circle round each eye the result of his constant of course we see you on thursday of course of course my dear boy what a pity it is your nephew didn t think of making you mr whispered mrs joseph porter you would have been invaluable well i flatter myself i have been tolerably up to the responded uncle tom i must sitting next you on the night resumed mrs porter and then if our dear
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young friends here should be at all wrong you will be able to me i shall be so interested i am sure i shall be most happy to give you any in my power mind it s a bargain certainly i don t know how it is said mrs to her daughters as they were sitting round the in the evening looking over their parts but i very much wish mrs joseph porter wasn t coming on thursday i am sure she s something she can t make us ridiculous however observed mr sketches by the long looked for thursday in due course brought with ity as mr senior observed no disappointments to speak of true it was yet a matter of doubt whether io would be enabled to get into the dress which had been sent for him the it was equally uncertain whether the female singer would be from the to make ner ance mr the of tiie night was hoarse and rather in ci the great quantity of and sugar he had eaten to improve his and two and a had pleaded severe what of that the audience were all coming everybody knew his part the dresses were covered with and the white looked beautiful mr had practised until he was bruised from head to foot and quite was sure that in the he should make a decided hit a self taught deaf who had kindly to bring his would be a most addition to the miss s talent for the piano was too well known to be doubted an instant mr cape had practised the accompaniment her and mr brown who had kindly undertaken at a few hours notice to bring his no doubt manage weu seven o clock came and so did audience all the rank and of and its vicinity was fast filling the theatre there were the the the the the people ah sorts of names two a in perspective sir thomas who had been in e last reign for carrying up an address somebody s escaping from nothing and net least there were mrs joseph and uncle tom seated in m centre of the third row from the u mrs p amusing tom sorts of stories and tom every one else by mo ting ting ting went the ter s at eight o clock dash went the into ture to the men of the player hi away wi and the which intervals sounded very w the unfortunate in however who had the found from experience feet truth of the old sight out of mind for in near and being considerable distance h book all he had an doing was to play a bar now i in wi place and out it is ee to mr to sa did to in was not a race the different t in by several ban next poor for the deaf g too f d away he was at i by tb of the was bustle and was heard ihe s by whispers of pretty go f what s to he the of raising the spirits of tide pa and mr de a dear tl e op tin l again do curtain shook rose to display several pair of yell and there ting ting i again the curtain wm bnt rose no i ence mrs i ft ni tom k k joseph porter everybody hia and laughing with perfect rapture after a ringing with the little bell ae a boy would make in going down a tolerably long street ud a deal of whispering and for aad and cord the tain at length and di a e ov mr and for three distinct of daring which mr applied his right hand to his left breast and bowed im the approved manner the manager advanced and said ladies and gentlemen i yon it is with regret that i regret to be to inform yon that la who was to have played mr i beg pardon and gentlemen but i am i wan mr hu was te have played i is has been or in other ladies and the is that i hare m ki i am informed that o d is detained at the this evening under these i n a a another to the request a time and kindness of a ap mr and the were of good the whole was a joke and accordingly they waited a i with utmost being by an el and it appeared by mr s that the delay not have been so at had it not m happened that when the had dressing and just as the play was on the point of uie original unexpectedly arrived the former was therefore compelled to and the latter to dress for his part which as he found some difficulty in getting into his clothes occupied no time at last the tragedy began in real earnest it went off well until the scene of the first act in which the the only being that not get on any of the boots in of his et being violently ed with the heat and excitement he was under the of playing the part in a pair of rather oddly with his richly embroidered when started with his address to the dignity was represented by tile duke a carpenter two men engaged on the of the gardener and a boy mrs porter foimd the she so anxiously sought mr most potent grave my noble and d good masters that i ta en away old s it la true rude am i ia my speech that right r whispered mrs porter to uncle tom no him s then i w called oat uncle tom that b wrong my boy what wrong t demanded forgetting the dignity of his you ve left out
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into s hand after a little struggling and delighted to see you i m sure said mr wishing that his visitor had dropped in to the thames at the bottom of the street instead of dropping into his parlour the fortnight was nearly up and was up how is mrs inquired quite well thank you replied mr for that was the name the short gentleman in here there was a pause the short gentleman looked at the left of the fireplace mr stared out of countenance quite well repeated the sketches by expired i may say remarkably well and he rubbed the palms of his bands as hard as if he were going to strike a light by what will you inquired with the desperate suddenness of a man who knew that unless the visitor took his leave he stood very little chance of taking anything else oh i don t know have you any why replied very slowly for all this was gaining time i some capital and remarkably strong last week but it s all gone and therefore its strength l much beyond proof or in other words impossible to be proved said the short gentleman and he laughed very heartily and seemed quite glad the had been drunk mr smiled but it was the smile of despair when mr had done laughing he that in the absence of he would not be averse to brandy and mr lighting a flat candle very and displaying an immense key which belonged to but which for the sake of appearances did duty in an imaginary wine cellar left the room to entreat his landlady to their glasses charge them in ue bill the application was the were speedily not from me deep but the adjacent the two short mixed their an then sat down before the a pair of themselves said mr you know my pen say what i mean hate reserve and mean what i say can t bear affectation one is a bad which only hides what good people have about em without making the bad look better and the other is much about the same thing as a white ton to make it look like k silk one now listen to what i m going to here the little gentleman and took a long pull at his water mr to of his stirred the fire and air of profound attention it s of no use humming an about the matter resumed tl gentleman you want to gi why mr tie for he and felt a sudden throughout his whole frame i should certainly at least i should like won t do said the short man plain and free or an end of the matter do money you know i do you admire the i do and you d like to be certainly then you shall be end of that thus saying mr took a pinch of son mixed another let me entreat you to b said as the party principally inter consent to be this way i u ten you replied mr warming with the t and tbe aod water a lady she s stopping with a now who is just the thing i well educated talks french the piano knows a good flowers and shells and all at thing and has five hundred with aa power of h by her last w testament i pay my addresses it said i ir s very young is she not very ihe f ve said that already what coloured hair has mr i hardly l mr ought to have at first she wears a a what ejaculated o e of those things along here said drawing a line across his forehead just over his eyes in illustration of his meaning i know the front s black i can t s quite about her own hair because unless one walks behind her and catches a glimpse of it her bonnet one seldom sees it bat i should say that it was rather lighter the a shade of a tinge perhaps mr looked as if he had mis of mind mr perceived it and thought it would be safe to begin the next attack delay now were you ever in love r he inquired mr bed up to the es and down to the chin and exhibited a most extensive tion of colours as he confessed the soft i you more than f u were a young i beg your at said never in my life i his friend apparently at being bs of such an act never the is that i entertain as yon lam w these subjects i not afraid of ladies y i or from it but i in with the of the present day they of and to men now the ft is that anything like this easy freedom i never a g and as i am afraid of going too tf j i am i dare say and cold i shouldn t wonder if you replied i t wonder however be all r in this case the and of this s ideas greatly exceed your own lord bless von why when she came to our house there was an old portrait of some man or other with two large black staring eyes hanging up in her bedroom she positively refused to go to bed there till it was taken down considering it decidedly wrong i think so too said mr certainly and then the other night i never laughed so much in my life resumed mr i had driven home in an wind and caught a devil of a face ache well as s mrs you and this friend of hers and i and frank were playing a rubber i said that when i went to
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what on earth is the use of giving a man coals who has nothing to cook or giving him blankets when he hasn t a bed or giving him soup when he requires substantial food like sending them when wanting a shirt why not give em a trifle of money as i do when i think they deserve it and let them purchase what they think best t why because your wouldn t see their names flourishing in print on the church door that s the reason really mr i hope you don t mean to that i wish to see my name in print on the interrupted miss i hope said mr putting in another word and getting another glance certainly not replied i dare say you wouldn t mind seeing it in writing though in the church register eh i register i what register inquired the lady gravely why the register of marriages to be sure replied at the sally and glancing at mr thought he should have fainted for shame and it is quite impossible to imagine what effect the joke would have had upon the lady if dinner had not been at that moment announced mr with an effort of gallantry offered the tip of his little finger miss accepted it with maiden modesty and they proceeded in due state to the dinner table where they were d a sketches by the room was very e dinner very good and uie little party in spirits the conversation pretty general and when mr had extracted one or two cold observations from his neighbour and had taken wine with her he to acquire confidence rapidly the was removed mrs drank four glasses of port on ihe ea of being a nurse just then and miss took about the same number of on the plea not wanting any at all at the ladies retired to the great gratification of mr el who had been and frowning at his wife for half an hour previously mrs never to observe until she had been pressed to take her ordinary which to avoid giving trouble she generally did at once what do you of tier s inquired mr mr in an under tone i on her with enthusiasm already replied mr pray let us drink be ladies aid the reverend mr the ladies r id mr his glass in ike fulness of his confidence felt as if he could make love to a ladies off hand ah i said mr i remember when i was a young man fill your glass i have this emptied it then again i will said ihe action to the word i remember resumed mr when i was a man with what a strange compound of feelings i used to drink toast and how i used to eveiy was an was that were married mildly d mr l so and a precious i must have been ever to have thought so at sl but you know i under the and most circumstances possible what were they if one may inquired asked who had heard tiie on an average twice a week for the last six months mr listened attentively in tbe hope of picking up some suggestion that might be to him in liis new undertaking i spent my wedding eight in a back kitchen by way of a beginning in a kitchen chimney ejaculated how dreadful yes it wasn t very pleasant replied the host the et is s and mother liked me well enough as an individual bat liad a to my a husband ou see hadn any money in lose days and they had and bo they wanted to pick up else however we managed to discover the state of s affections somehow i used to meet at some mutual friends parties at we danced together and talked and and all that sort of i used to like nothing so well as sitting by her we didn t talk so much then but i remember i used to have a great notion oi looking at out of extreme of my eye i got very and and began to write verses and use oil at last t bear it any longer and after had walked up aud down the sunny side of oxford street in tight boots for a w k and a hot it was too in ae hope f meeting her i down and wrote a letter and tm to manage to me i wanted to hear lier man her own mouth i said i liad to my perfect that i t without that if she didn t have me i had n ii my mind to take a or mis ng or bo as to ff in some way or other wed a pound and d to give her the note t tn tiie reply in who had tlie is to get a general one very miserable possibility of an early that from the duty he implored me to ad find ont somebody and au that sort said he could en no of me ma and t ed me be in a part gardens ai eleven not to i t go of said lie i did there the ne in order at we f miserable and ty engaged we thai is to say change about four letters we used to say in em i and i used to an the or the place went em in this way and we got of day at as our d to such a and as been raised too on n secret arranged to at the previous night we early in the were to to her pathetic she to d gentleman s and ts with her tears and i le old lady and her and use my handkerchief as much
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as possible married we were the next morning two girls friends of s acting as and a w was hired for five and a pint of porter as father now ie old lady unfortunately put off her return from tke paying a until the nest morning and as we great on her we agreed to our confession four and my wife home and i spent my wedding day in about heath and my law of course i went to dear little wife at night i cook with the that our troubles soon be over i opened the garden ef which i had a key and was shown by the to our old place of meeting a back kitchen with a stone and a npon which in the absence of chairs we used io mt and make love make love upon mr whose a s of were greasy ah on a replied and let me teu you old fellow that if really over head and in love no other to make love in you d be glad to avail yourself of an however let me see m on the suggested oh ah i w l here i poor and the old had been all di made her feel still more lonely and she was quite ant of on the md it off and said we the of a matrimonial mere by contrast and ai length peer ap a little i stopped there till e o and as h was taking j y l for the time the girl sketches by without her shoes in a great to tell us that the old heaven give me for calling him so for he is and gone now prompted i suppose by uie prince of was coming down to draw his own beer for supper a thing he had not done before for six months to my certain knowledge for the stood in that very back kitchen if he discovered me there explanation would have been out of the question for he was so violent when at all excited that he never would have to me there was only one thing to be done the chimney was a very wide one it had been originally for an oven went up for a few feet and then shot backward and formed a sort of small my hopes and fortune the means of our i existence almost were at stake scrambled in like a myself up in this recess and as and the girl replaced the deal i could see the light of the candle which my unconscious law carried in his hand i heard him draw the beer and i never heard beer run so slowly he was just leaving the kitchen and i was preparing to descend when down came the infernal board with a tremendous crash he stopped and put down the candle and the of beer on the he was a nervous old fellow and any unexpected noise annoyed him he coolly observed that the fireplace was never used and sending the frightened servant into the next kitchen for a hammer and nails actually nailed up the board and locked the door on the outside so there was i on my wedding night in the light trousers fancy waistcoat and blue coat that i had been married in in the morning in a back kitchen chimney the bottom of which was nailed up and the top of which had been formerly raised some fifteen feet to prevent the smoke from the neighbours and there added as he passed the bottle there i remained a i seven the next morning when the s sweetheart who wm a carpenter me the old dog had me up so securely that to this very hour i believe no one but a carpenter could ever have got me out and what did mrs s father say when he found you were married inquired who although he never saw a joke was until he heard a story to the very end why the of the so his fancy that he us off hand and allowed us something to on till he went the way of til flesh i spent the next night in his second floor front much more comfortably than i had spent the pre one for as you will guess please sir has made tea said a middle aged female servant into the room that s the very that figures in my story said mr she went into s service when we were first married and has been with us ever since but i don t think she has felt one of respect for me since the morning she saw me released when she went into violent to which she has been subject ever since now shall we join the if you please said by all means added the mr and made for the drawing room accordingly tea being concluded and the toast and cups having been duly handed and occasionally upset by a rubber was proposed they cut for partners mr and mrs and mr and miss mr having conscientious scruples on the subject of card playing brandy and water and kept up a running with mr k the evening went off mr mr was in high some reason to be gratified with his reception by miss and before he left a small party was made up to die on the following saturday it s au right i think said mr to mr as he opened the garden gate for him i hope so he replied liis friend s hand you be down by the first coach on saturday said mr certainly replied mr undoubtedly but fortune had that mr should not be down by the first coach on saturday his adventures on that day however and the success of his are subjects for another chapter chapter the second the first
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coach has not come in yet has it tom inquired mr as he very complacently paced up and down the fourteen feet of gravel which bordered the lawn on the saturday morning which had been fixed upon for the no sir i haven t seen it re lied a gardener in a blue apron who et himself out to do the ornamental a crown a day and his keep time was down said mr oh here he is no doubt added as a cab drove rapidly up the hill and he his dressing gown and opened the gate to receive the expected visitor the cab stopped and out jumped a man in a coarse great coat brown black suit top boots and one of those large crowned hats formerly seldom met with but now very generally by gentlemen and mr said the man looking at the of a note he in his hand and addressing with an inquiring air my name is responded the sugar baker ve brought this here note replied the individual in the painted tops in a hoarse whisper i ve no brought this here note n as come to our house this i expected the gentleman at my house said as he broke the seal which bore the impression of her majesty s as it is seen on a sixpence i ve no doubt the gen n would ha been here replied the stranger if he hadn t happened to call at our house first but we never no gen n nor we can see him no mistake about that there added the unknown with a grin beg yer pardon no offence meant only once in and i wish you catch the idea sir mr was not remarkable for catching anything suddenly but a cold he therefore only bestowed a glance of profound astonishment on his mysterious companion and proceeded to the note of which he had been the bearer once opened and the idea was caught with very little difficulty mr had been suddenly arrested for and dated his communication from a lock up house in the vicinity of lane unfortunate affair this said the note oh ven you re used to it coolly observed the man in the tom si by a few c m put tbe hi will yoa t tell the that i shall be there almost as soon as yoa are he the officer s worry well replied tiiat important adding in a i d tiie gen friends to settle yon see it s a trifle and unless the n means to go up afore the court it s hardly worth while waiting for you know our governor s wide awake he is i ll never say him nor no man but he knows what s o clock he does having delivered this eloquent and to particularly intelligible the meaning of whidi was out by divers and the gentleman in the boots himself in the cab which went rapidly off and was soon out of mr continued to pace up and down the pathway for some minutes apparently absorbed in deep meditation the result of his seemed to be perfectly satisfactory to himself for he ran briskly into the house said that business had suddenly summoned him to town that he had desired the messenger to inform mr of the fact and that they would return together to dinner he then hastily equipped himself for a drive and mounting his was soon on his way to the establishment of mr solomon as mr had informed him in street lane when a man is in a violent hurry to get on and has a specific object in view the of which depends on the completion of his journey the difficulties which in his way appear not only to be innumerable but to have been called into existence especially for the occasion the remark is by no means a new one and mr had practical and experience of its justice in the course of his drive there axe three classes of animated objects which prevent your driving with any degree of or through streets which are but little frequented ey are pigs children and old women on the occasion we are the pigs were on and the fluttered m the little and the children played in the road and women a et in one hand and the key in the other would cross just before the horse s head mr was perfectly savage with vexation and quite hoarse with ing and then when he got into fleet street there was a in which people in have the satisfaction of remaining stationary for half an hour and the and where rush about and seize hold of horses and back them into shop windows by way of clearing the road and preventing at length mr turned into lane and having inquired for and been directed to street for it was a locality of which he was quite ignorant he soon found himself opposite the house of mr solomon confiding his horse and to tbe care of one of the fourteen boys who had followed him from the other side of on the chance of his requiring their services mr crossed the road and knocked at an inner door the upper part of whidi was of glass like the windows of this inviting mansion with iron painted white to look comfortable the knock was answered by a sallow faced red haired sulky boy who after surveying mr through glass applied a large key to an immense which was in reality a lock but taken in with the iron nails with which the were studded gave the door the a of being subject to i want mr mr it a the that come in this screamed a voice from the top of the kitchen stairs which belonged to a dirty woman who had just
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hi might her chin to a with the passage the gentleman s in the coffee room up stairs sir said the boy just opening the door wide enough to let in him and double it the moment he had made his way through the first door on the left mr instructed ascended the and iu lighted staircase and after giving subdued at the fc door on the left which were rendered by the hum of voices within the room and the hissing noise attendant on some operations which were carrying on below stairs turned the handle and entered the apartment being informed that the object of his visit had just gone up stairs to write a letter he had leisure to sit down and observe the before him the which was a small confined den was off into boxes like the common room of some inferior eating house the dirty floor evidently been as long a stranger to the brush as to carpet or floor cloth and the ceiling was completely blackened by uie of the oil lamp by which the room was lighted at ni t the gray ashes on the edges of the tables and the cigar which were scattered about the dusty grate fully accounted for the intolerable smell of tobacco which pervaded the place and the empty and half shoes of l non on the tables together with the porter pots beneath them bore testimony to the frequent in which the individuals who honoured mr solomon by a temporary in his house indulged over the mantel shelf was a paltry extending about half the width of piece but by way of the ashes were confined by a rusty about twice as long as the hearth from this cheerful room itself the attention of mr waa directed to its inmates in one of the boxes two men were playing at with a very dirty pack of cards some with blue some with green and some with red backs from decayed the board had been long ago formed on the table by ingenious visitor with the assistance of a and a two fork with which the necessary number of hides had been made in the table at proper distances for the of the wooden in another box a stout hearty man ef about forty was eating dinner which his wife an equally comfortable looking personage had brought him in a basket and in a t rd a young man was talking earnestly and in a to a young female whose face was concealed by a thick veil but whom mr immediately set down in his own mind as the s wife a young fellow of vulgar manners dressed the extreme of the prevailing was pacing up and down the room with a lighted cigar in his mouth and his hands in his pockets ever and anon puffing forth volumes of smoke and occasion y applying with much apparent relish to a pint pot the contents of whidi were on the more by one of the a pipe and addressing his adversary at the close of the game ud think got luck in a and shook it out when you wanted it well that a had mi replied the other who was a from no i m if h is posed the fellow who finished his was out of a sketches by in truly harmony some hot gin and water the partner of his cares had brought a plentiful supply of the anti in a large flat stone bottle which looked like a half jar that had been successfully tapped for the you re a rum chap yon are mr will you dip your into this sir i thank ee sir replied mr leaving his box and advancing to the other to accept the proffered glass here s your health sir and your good s here all and better luck still well mr the prisoner addressing the young man with the cigar you seem rather to day as one may say what s the matter sir never say die you know h i m all right replied the i shall be out tomorrow shall you though inquired the other i wish i could say the same i am as regularly over head and ears as the george and stand about as much chance of being hailed out ha ha i ha why said the young man stopping short and in a very loud key look at me d ye think i ve stopped here two days for t cause you couldn t get out i suppose interrupted mr to the company not that you re exactly obliged to stop here only you can t help it no you know only you must eh a n t he a rum un inquired the delighted individual who had offered the gin and water of his wife oh he just is replied the lady who was quite overcome by these flashes of imagination why my case frowned the victim throwing the end of his cigar into the fire and his argument by knocking the bottom of the pot on the table at intervals my case is a very one my father a a man of urge property and i tm wm that s a very strange circumstance interrupted the mr en i am his son and have received a liberal education i don t owe no man nothing not the value of t but i was induced you see to put my name to some bills for a friend bills to a large amount i may say t very large amount for which i didn t receive no consideration what s the consequence i why i po e the bills went out and you came in the weren t taken up and you were eh inquired to be sure replied the liberally
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educated young to be sure and so here i am locked up for a matter of twelve pound why don t you ask old governor to stump up t inquired with a somewhat sir oh i bless you he d never do it replied the other in a tone of never well it is very odd to interposed the owner of the flat mixing another glass but i ve been in difficulties as one may say now for thirty year i went to when i was in a milk walk thirty year ago when i was a and kept a spring wan and that again in the coal and but au that time i never see a chap come into a place of this kind who wasn t going out again and who hadn t been on bills which he d given a friend and for which he d received nothing not a oh it s always the cry said i can t see the use on it that s what makes me so wild why i should have a much better opinion of an individual if he d say at once in an honourable and gentlemanly manner as he d done everybody he possible could ay to be sure interposed the horse dealer with whose notions of bargain and sale the perfectly i i mb the gentleman who had given rifle to these observations was on the point of offering a rather angry reply to but the rising of tlie young man before noticed and of the female who had been sitting by him to leave the room interrupted the conversation she had been weeping bitterly and the atmosphere of the room acting upon her excited feelings and delicate frame rendered the support of her companion necessary as they quitted it together there was an air of superiority about them both and something in their appearance so unusual in such a place that a respectful silence was observed until the r bang of tiie spring door announced that they were out of hearing it was broken by the wife of the ex poor said she a sigh in a of gin she s very young she s a nice looking too added the horse dealer what s he in for inquired of an individual who was spreading a cloth with numerous of upon it on one of the tables and whom mr had no difficulty in as the man who had called upon him in the morning responded the it s one of the you ever heard on he come in here last whidi by the by he s a going over the water to night ever that s neither here nor there you see i ve been a going back and for about his business and ha managed to pick up some of his story from the servants and them and so far as i can make it out it seems to be to this here effect cut it short old fellow interrupted who knew from former experience that he of the top boots was neither very nor intelligible in his let me alone replied and i ha up and made my lucky in five seconds this here young gen n s father so i m told mind ye and the father o the young have always been on very bad out lar knock me down sort o terms but somehow or another when he was a at some s house as he at college he come into contract with the young lady he seed her several times and then he up and said he d keep company with her if so be as she agreeable veil she as sweet upon him as he upon her and so i s pose they made it all right for they got married bout six months mind ye to the two fathers so i m told when heard on it my eyes there was such a i starvation the very least that to be done to em the young n s father cut him off vith a bob he d cut himself off vith a wife and the young lady s father he behaved even and more for he not only blow d her up dreadful and swore he d never see her again but he employed a chap as i knows and as you knows mr a precious sight too well to go about and buy up the bills and them things on the young husband thinking his governor ud come round had raised the just to blow himself on vith for a time besides he made all the interest he could to set other people him consequence that he paid as long as he could but things he never expected to have to meet till he d had time to turn himself round come fast upon him and he he brought here as i said afore last ven y and i think there s about ah half a dozen him down stairs now i have been added in the these fifteen year and i never met vith such win afore poor exclaimed the coal dealer s wife once more again to the same excellent for a sigh in the bud an when they ve seen as much trouble aa sketches by have they be as comfortable under it as we are the young lady s a pretty only she s a little too delicate for my taste there ain t enough of her as to the young core he may be very respectable and wh t not but he s too down in the month for me he ain t game game who had been the position of a knife and at least a dozen tones in order that he might in the room under the pretext of something to do he s game
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enough th s anything to be fierce about but who could be game as you call it mr with a pale young like that hanging about him it s enough to drive any man s heart his boots to see em together and no mistake at all about it i never shall forget her first here he wrote to her on the thursday to come i know he did i took the letter uncommon he was all day to be the evening he goes down into the office and he says to says he sir can i have the loan of a private room for a minutes evening without any additional expense to see my wife in says he looked as much as to say strike me if you ain t one of the modest sort but as the n who had been in the back parlour had just gone out and had paid for it for that day he sa r grave sir says he it s our rules to let private rooms to our on terms but he for a gentleman i don t mind breaking through them for once so then he turns round to me and says put two mould candles in the back parlour and charge em to tliis gen n s account i did yell by and by a comes up to the door and there sure enough was the young lady wrapped up in a cloak as it might be and all alone i opened the gate that night so went up when the come and he a at the door and wasn t he a trembling neither i the poor see him and could hardly walk to meet him oh she says that it should have come to this and all for my sake says she putting her hand upon his shoulder so he puts his arm round her pretty waist and leading her gently s little way into the room so that he might be able to shut the door he so kind and soft like why n here s the gentleman yon want abrupt breaking off in story and li to the who at that entered the room advanced with a wooden expression of passive endurance and the hand whidi mr h d out i want to speak to you said with a look y of his dislike of the company this way r imprisoned one leading the way to the drawing room where rich did the luxurious at the rate of a couple of guineas a day well here i am said as he sat down on the sad placing the of his hands on ui knees anxiously glanced at his countenance yes and here you re to be said as he the money in his pockets and looked out of the window what s the amount with the costs inquired after tm awkward pause i have you any money t nine and sixpence mr walked up and down the room for a before he could make up bis mind to disclose the plan he had formed he was accustomed to drive hard but was always most anxious to his at length he stopped short and said you owe me fifty pounds mr and from all i lee i that you are likely to owe it to me i fear i am though a have every to pay me if yon could i certainly then said mr m listen here s my proposition you know my way of old accept it yes or no i will or i won t i pay the debt and costs and i u lend you more which added to your will enable you to carry on the war well if yon give me your note of hand to pay me one hundred and fifty pounds within six months after yon are married to miss my dear stop a minute on one condition and that is that you propose to miss at once at once my dear it s for to consider not me she knows yon well from reputation though she did not know you personally until lately notwithstanding all her maiden modesty i think d be devilish glad to get married out of hand with as delay as possible my wife has sounded her en the subject and she has confessed what ei interrupted the why replied to say exactly what she has confessed would be difficult they only spoke in hints and so forth but my wife who is no bad judge in these cases declared to me that what she had confessed was as good as to say she was not insensible of your merits in fact that no other man have her mr from his seat and rang the what s that for i inquired par i want to send the man the stamp then you ve made up your mind i have and they shook hands most cordially the note oi hand was given the were paid was satisfied for his trouble mid the two friends soon found themselves on that side mr solomon s establishment on which moat of hia visitors were very happy when they found themselves once again to the now said mr as they drove to together you shall have an opportunity to make the disclosure to and mind you speak out i i wiu replied how i should like to see yon to ejaculated mr par what fun and he so long and so loudly that he disconcerted mr and frightened the horse there s and your intended walking about on the lawn said as they approached the house mind your eye never fear replied resolutely as he made his way to ths pot where the ladies were walking here s mr my dear said
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mrs miss the lady turned quickly round and acknowledged his courteous salute with the same sort of that ins had noticed on their first interview but with something like a slight expression of disappointment or did you see how glad she waa to see you whispered to his friend why i really thought she looked as if she would rather have seen somebody replied nonsense whispered again it s always the way with the women young or they never show how delighted they are to see those whose presence makes their hearts beat it s the way with the whole sex and no man should have lived to your time of hie knowing it it to me when we were first married over and over again see what it is to have a wife sketches by certainly whispered whose courage was fast well now you d better begin to the way said who having invested some money in the speculation assumed the office of yes yes i will presently greatly s y something to her man urged again confound it pay her a can t you no not after dinner replied the anxious to the evil moment well gentlemen said mrs you are really very polite you stay away the whole morning after promising to take us out and when you do come home you stand together and take no notice of us we were talking of the my dear which detain us this morning looking significantly at dear me i how very quickly the morning has gone said miss referring to the gold watch which was wound up on state occasions whether it required it or not think it has passed very slowly mildly suggested that s whispered indeed said miss with an air of majestic surprise i can only it to my absence from your society madam said and that of mrs during this short dialogue the ladies had been leading the way to the house what the deuce did you stick into that last compliment for inquired as they followed together it quite spoilt the effect oh it really would have been too broad without much too broad he s mad whispered his wife as they entered the mad from modesty dear me ejaculated tiie i never heard of such a thing you find we have quite a family dinner mr said mrs when they sat down to table miss is one of us and of course we no stranger of you mr expressed t hope that the family never would make a stranger of him and wished that his would allow him to feel a little less uke a stranger himself take off the covers said mrs directing the shifting of the scenery with great anxiety the order was obeyed and a pair of boiled fowls with tongue and et were displayed at the top and a of at the bottom on one side of the table two green with of the same were setting to each other in a green dish and on the other was a rabbit in t brown suit turned up with miss my dear said mrs shall i assist you thank you no i think i u trouble mr started trembled helped the rabbit and broke a the countenance of the lady of the house which had been all smiles previously an change extremely sorry himself to and and butter in the extremity of his confusion not the least consequence replied mrs in a tone which that it was of the greatest consequence possible directing aside the of the boy who was groping under the table for the bits of broken glass i presume said miss i that mr is aware of the interest which usually pay in such cases a dozen glasses for one is the lowest penalty mr gave his friend an tread on the toe here was a clear hint that the sooner be mr ceased to be a bachelor and himself from such the better mr viewed the observation in the same light and mrs to take wine with a degree of presence of mind which under all the circumstances was really extraordinary miss said may i have the pleasure i shall be most happy will you assist miss and pass the thank you the usual ceremony of nodding and gone through were you ever in inquired the master of the house who was burning to tell one of his seven stock stories no responded adding by way of a saving but i ve been in ah i replied it was m that a rather singular circumstance happened to me many years ago did you ever happen to hear me mention it mr happened to hear his friend mention it some four hundred times of course he expressed curiosity and evinced the utmost impatience to hear the story again mr forthwith attempted to proceed in spite of the to which as our readers must frequently hav p observed the master of the house ts often exposed in such cases we will attempt to give them an idea of our meaning when i was in said mr take off the fowls first said mrs i beg your pardon my dear when i vi b in resumed mr with an impatient glance at his wife who pretended not to observe it which is now some years ago business led me to the town of bury st s i had to stop at the principal places in my way and therefore for tiie sake of convenience i travelled in a i left one dark night it was winter time about nine o clock the rain poured in torrents the wind howled among the trees that skirted the road side and i was obliged to proceed at a foot pace for i hardly see my hand before me it was so dark john interrupted mrs in a
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low hollow voice don t that said impatiently i wish you d these domestic to some more suitable time really my dear these constant are very my dear i didn t interrupt you said airs but my dear you did interrupt me remonstrated mr how very absurd you are my love i must give directions to the servants i am quite sure that if i sat here and allowed john to the over the new carpet you d be the first to find fault when you saw the stain to morrow morning well continued with a resigned air as if he knew there was no getting over the point about the carpet i was just saying it was so dark that i could hardly see my hand before me the road was very lonely and i assure you this was a device to arrest the wandering attention of that individual which was distracted by a confidential communication between mrs and accompanied by the delivery of a large bunch of keys i assure you i became somehow impressed with a sense of the loneliness of my situation pie to your master interrupted mrs again directing the servant now pray my dear remonstrated once more very mrs p turned up her hands and eyebrows and appealed in dumb show to miss as i turned a comer of the road resumed the horse stopped short and reared i pulled up jumped out ran to his haul and found k by lying on his back in the middle of the road with his eyes fixed on the sky i thought he was dead but no he was alive and there appeared to be nothing the matter with him he jumped up and putting bis hand to his chest and upon me the most earnest e yon can imagine exclaimed here said mrs oh it s no use exclaimed the host now rendered desperate here a glass of wine it s useless to attempt relating anything when mrs is present this attack was received in the usual way mrs talked to miss and u her better half on the impatience of men generally hinted that her husband was peculiarly vicious in this and wound up by that she most be one of the best that ever existed or she never could put up with it really what she had to endure sometimes was more than any one who saw her in day life could by possibility suppose the story was now a painful subject and therefore mr declined to enter into any details and himself by stating that the man was a who had escaped from a neighbouring mad house the cloth was removed the ladies soon afterwards retired and miss played the piano in the drawing room overhead very loudly for the of the mr and mr sat comfortably enough until the conclusion of the second bottle when the latter in proposing an to the drawing room informed that he had a plan with his wife for leaving him and miss alone soon after tea i said as they went up stairs don t you think it would be better if we put it off tomorrow don t think it would have been better if i had left you vn wretched hole i found you in this morning retorted well well i only made a suggestion said poor with a de si tea was soon concluded and miss drawing a small work on one side of the fire and placing a little wooden frame upon it something like a miniature day mill without the horse was soon busily engaged in making a watch guard with brown silk bless me exclaimed starting up with weu feigned surprise i ve forgotten confounded letters i know you excuse me if had been a free agent he would have allowed no one to leave tlie room on any pretence except himself as it was however he was obliged to look cheerful when quitted the he had scarcely left when put her head into the room with please ma am you re wanted mrs left the room shut the door carefully after her and mr was left alone with for the first five minutes there a dead silence mr was thinking how he should b m i miss appeared to be of nothing the fire was burning low mr it and pot some coals on hem miss mr thought the fair creature had q i your pardon said be eh i thought you no oh i there are some books on the soft mr if you would like to look st them said miss after the lapse of another five minutes no thank you returned and then he added with a courage which was perfectly astonishing even to madam that is miss i wish to mb s to me mid letting the silk drop from her hands and sliding her chair back a few paces speak to me to you and on the subject of the state of affections the lady hastily rose and would have left the room bat mr gently detain her by the hand and it as far from him as the joint length of their would he proceeded pray do not me or suppose that i am led to address yon after so short an acquaintance by any feeling of my own merits for merits i have none which could give me a claim to your hand i hope you will me of any presumption when i explain that i have been acquainted through mrs with the state that is that mrs has told me at least not mrs but here began to wander but miss relieved him am i to understand mr that mrs has you with my feeling my affection i mean my respect for an individual of the opposite sex she
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has then what r inquired miss her with a girlish air what could induce to seek an interview as this what can object be how can i promote your happiness mr here was the time for a flourish by allowing me replied falling on his knees and breaking two brace buttons and a in the act by allowing me to be your slave your servant in short by making me the confident of your heart s feelings may i say for the promotion of your own bi may i say in order that yon may become the of a kind and affectionate husband disinterested c tu re miss hiding her face in a white pocket wi an hole border mr thought that if the lady knew she might possibly alter her opinion on this last point he raised the tip of her middle finger to his lips and got off his knees as as he could my information was correct he inquired when he was once more on his feet it was hands and looked up to the ornament in the centre of the ceiling which had been made for a lamp by way of expressing his rapture our situation mr resumed the lady glancing at him through one of the holes is a most and one it is said mr our acquaintance has been of short duration said miss only a week assented oh t more than that the lady in a tone of surprise indeed said more than a month than two months said miss rather odd this thought h i he said s assurance that she had known him from report i understand but my dear madam pray consider the longer this acquaintance has existed the reason is ih ce for delay now why not at once fix a period for gratifying the hopes of your devoted admirer it been represented to me again and again dial this is the course i ought to pursue replied miss but pardon ray feelings of mr pray excuse embarrassment i have peculiar ideas on such subjects and i am quite sure that i never could summon fortitude enough to name the day to mj future husband then allow me to name it said eagerly i should like to fix it myself replied miss bat i cannot do so without at once to a third party a third party i though w sketches by who the is that to be i wonder mr miss you have made me a most disinterested and kind offer that offer i accept will you at once be the bearer of a note from me to to mr mr p said after what has passed between us responded miss still her head you must understand whom i mean mr the the clergyman mr the clergyman ejaculated in a state of and positive wonder at his own success angel certainly this moment i prepare it immediately said miss making for the door the events of this day have hurried me so much mr thai i shall not leave my room again this evening i will send you the note by the servant stay cried still keeping a most respectful distance from the lady when shall we meet again oh mr miss when we are married i can never see you too often nor thank you too much and she left the room mr flung himself into an arm chair and indulged in the most delicious of future bliss in which the idea of five hundred pounds per with an power of of it by her last will and testament was somehow or other the foremost he had gone through the interview so well and it had terminated so admirably that he almost began to wish he had expressly for the settlement of the annual five hundred on himself may i come in i said mr peeping in at the door you may replied well have you done it anxiously inquired have i done it said i m to the no i said how weu you have managed it where does live inquired at his uncle s replied just round the lane he s wai g for a living and has been assisting his here for the last two or three months well you have done it i didn t think you could have carried it off so mr was proceeding to that the principle was the best on which love could possibly be made when he was interrupted by the entrance of with a little pink note folded like a fancy cocked hat miss s compliments said as she delivered it into s hands and vanished do you observe the delicacy said appealing to mr compliments not by the servant eh t mr didn t exactly know what reply to make so he the forefinger of his right hand between the and fourth ribs of mr come said when the explosion of mirth consequent on this practical jest had subsided we be off at once let s lose no time capital echoed and in five minutes they were at the garden gate of the villa by the uncle of mr is mr charles at home r inquired mr of mr charles s uncle s man mr charles it at home replied the man but he desired me to say he couldn t be interrupted sir by any of the am not a replied is mr charles writing a sermon tom inquired thrusting himself forward no mr sir he s not exactly writing a sermon but he is the in his own bedroom and gave strict orders not to be disturbed mr say i m here replied leading the way across the garden mr and mr on private and particular business they were shown into the parlour and the servant departed to deliver his message
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the distant groaning of the ceased footsteps were heard on the stairs and mr presented himself and shook hands with with the utmost cordiality how do you do sir said with great solemnity how do you do sir replied with as much coldness as if it were a matter of perfect indifference to him how he did as it very likely was i beg to deliver this note to you said producing the cocked hat from miss said suddenly changing colour pray sit down mr sat down and while the note fixed his eyes on an coloured portrait of the of which hung over the fireplace mr rose from his seat when he had concluded the note and looked at may i ask he inquired appealing to whether our friend here is acquainted with the object of your visit our friend is in my confidence replied with considerable importance then sir said seizing both s hands allow me in his presence to thank you most and cordially for the noble part you have acted in this affair he thinks i recommended him thought confound these fellows they never think of anything but their i deeply regret having misunderstood your intentions my dear sir continued disinterested and manly indeed there are very few men who would have acted as you have done mr could not help thinking that this last remark was any thing but complimentary he therefore inquired rather when is it to her on thursday replied on thursday morning at half past eight uncommonly early observed with an air of triumphant self denial i shall hardly be able to get down here by that hour this was intended for a never mind my dear fellow replied all shaking hands with again most heartily so long as we see you to breakfast you know h i said with one of the most extraordinary expressions of countenance that ever appeared in a human face wh t i ejaculated at me same moment i say that so long as we see you to breakfast repeated we will excuse your being absent from the ceremony though of course your presence at it would give us the utmost pleasure mr staggered against tlie wall and fixed his eyes on with appalling perseverance said hurriedly brushing his hat with his left arm when you say us whom do you mean i mr looked foolish in his turn when he replied why mrs that will be this day week miss that is now don t stare at tliat idiot in the comer angrily exclaimed as the extraordinary of s countenance excited the wondering gaze of but have the goodness to tell me in three words the contents of that note this note replied is from miss to whom i have been for the last five weeks regularly engaged her singular scruples and strange feeling on some points have hitherto prevented my bringing the engagement to that termination which i anxiously desire she sketches by me here that she bounded mrs sons with the view of making her her and go between that mrs informed this elderly mr of the circumstance and that he in the most kind and delicate terms offered to us in any way and even undertook to convey this note which the promise i have long sought in vain an act of kindness for which i can be sufficiently grateful k d night said hurrying off and carrying the bewildered with him won t you stay and have something said no thank ye replied i ve had quite and away he went followed by in a state of mr whistled until they had walked some quarter of a mile past his own gate when ha suddenly stopped and said you are a clever fellow ain t you i i don t know said the unfortunate i suppose you say this is s fault inquired i don t know anything about it replied the bewildered well said turning on his heel to go home the next time you make an offer you had better speak plainly and don t throw a chance away and the next time you re locked up in a house just wait there till i come and take you out there s a good fellow how or at what hour mr returned to is unknown his boots were seen his bedroom door next morning but we have the of his landlady for stating that he neither nor accepted for four and twenty at the of that period and when a council of war was being in the kitchen on the of the to break his door open he rang his bell and demanded a cup of milk and water the next morning he went through the of eating and drinking as usual but a week afterwards he seized with a while the list of marriages in a morning paper from which he never perfectly recovered a few weeks after the last named occurrence the body of a gentleman unknown was in the s canal in the four shillings and a advertisement from a lady which appeared to have been cut out of a sunday paper a and a card case which it is confidently believed would have led to the of the gentleman but for the of being none but blank cards mr from his lodgings shortly before a bill which has not been taken up was presented next morning and a bill which has not been taken down was soon afterwards in his the chapter xl tile ch the author may be permitted to ob h er this sketch published some the entitled the wm m or as his called him long was a bachelor six feet high and fifty old cross odd and lu natured he was never happy but when he was miserable and always miserable when he had the best reason
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to be happy the only real comfort of his existence was to make every body about him wretched then he might be truly said to enjoy life he was with a situation in the bank worth five hundred a year and he a first floor furnished at which he originally took because it commanded a dismal prospect of an adjacent churchyard he was familiar with the face of every and ihe burial service seemed to excite his strongest sympathy his friends said he was surly he insisted he was nervous they thought him a lucky dog but he protested that he was the most unfortunate man in the world cold as he was and wretched as he declared himself to be he was not wholly of he the memory of as he was himself an admirable and player and he chuckled with delight at a and impatient adversary he adored king for his of the and if he hated one thing more than another it was a child however be could hardly be said to hate anything in particular because he disliked everything in general but m his greatest were old that would not shut and he to the society for the of ip pleasure of putting a stop to a y harmless amusements and he contributed largely towards the support of two in the amiable hope that if circumstances rendered any people happy in this world they might perchance be rendered miserable by fears for the next mr had a nephew who had been married about a year and who was somewhat of a favourite with his uncle because he was an admirable subject to exercise his misery creating powers upon mr charles was a small sharp spare man with a very large head and a broad countenance he looked like a faded giant with the head and face partially restored and he had a cast in his eye which rendered it quite impossible for with whom he conversed to where he was looking his eyes appeared fixed on the wail and he was staring you out of countenance in short there was no his eye and perhaps it is a of providence that such eyes are not catching in addition to these characteristics it may be added that mr charles was one of the most and matter of fact little personages that ever took io himself a wife and for himself a house in great square uncle always dropped the square and inserted in thereof the dread ful words court road no but uncle my life you must you must promise to be mr as he sat in conversation with his respected relative one morning i cannot indeed i returned well but sketches by think it very unkind it s very little trouble as to the trouble rejoined the most unhappy man in i don t mind that but my nerves are in that i cannot go through the ceremony you know i don t like out for s sake charles don t with that stool so you drive me mad mr quite regardless of his uncle s nerves had occupied himself for some ten minutes in describing a circle on the floor with one leg of the office stool on which he was seated keeping the other three up in the air holding fast on by the desk l beg your pardon uncle said quite abashed suddenly his hold of the desk and bringing the three wandering legs back to the floor with a force to drive them through it but come don t refuse if it s a boy you know we must have two if it s said why can t you say at once whether it t a boy or not i should be very happy to tell you but it s impossible i can undertake to say whether it s a girl or a boy if the child isn t bom yet not bom yet echoed with a gleam of hope lighting up bis oh well it may be a girl and then you won t want me or if it is a boy it may die before it is i not said the father that expected to be looking very grave hope not evidently pleased with the subject he was beginning to get happy hope not but distressing cases frequently occur during the first two or three days of a child s life fits i am told are exceedingly common and alarming are almost matters of course lord uncle ejaculated little gasping for breath yes my was confined ht me bee last tuesday an uncommonly fine boy on the thursday night the nurse was sitting with him upon her knee before the fire and he was as well as possible suddenly he became black in and the medical man was y sent for and every remedy was tried but how frightful interrupted the horror stricken the child died of course however your child may not die and if it should be a boy and should live to be why i suppose i most be one of the was evidently good natured on the faith of his thank you uncle said his agitated nephew his hand as warmly as if he had done him some essential service perhaps i had better not tell mrs k what you have mentioned why if she s low spirited perhaps you had better not mention the melancholy case to her returned who of course had invented the whole story though perhaps it would be but doing your duty as a husband to prepare her for the wont a day or two afterwards as was a morning paper at chop house which he regularly frequented the following paragraph met his eye on saturday th ia great street the of esq of a son h boy he exclaimed dashing down the paper to the astonishment of the
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it i a boy t but he speedily regained his composure as hu eye rested on a paragraph quoting the number of infant deaths from the bills of six weeks passed away and as do communication had been i from tlie was beginning to flatter himself that the vas dead when the note resolved his doubts great monday bo de the lighted to hear that my dear has left her room and that your future is getting on he was very thin at first but he is getting much larger and nurse says he is filling out every day he cries a good deal and is a very colour which made and me rather uncomfortable but as nurse says it s natural and as of course we know nothing about things yet we are quite satisfied with what nurse says we think he be a sharp child and nurse says she s sure he will because he never goes to sleep you will readily believe that we are all very happy only we re a little worn out for of rest as he keeps us awake all night but tliis we must expect nurse says for the first six or eight months he has been but in of the operation being rather awkwardly performed some small of glass were introduced into the arm witli the matter perhaps this may in some degree account for his being rather at least so nurse says we propose to have him at twelve o clock on friday at saint george s church in by the name of charles pray don t be later than a quarter before twelve we shall have a very few friends in the evening when of course we shall see you i am sorry to that the dear boy appears rather restless and uneasy to day the cause i fear is fever believe me dear uncle yours affectionately charles p s i open this note to say that we have just discovered the cause of little s restlessness it is not fever as i apprehended but a small pin which nurse accidentally stuck in his leg yesterday evening we have taken it out and he appears more composed though he still sobs a good deal it is almost unnecessary to say that tlie perusal of the above interesting statement was no great relief to the no mind of the it was impossible to however and so he put the best face that is to say an miserable one upon the matter and purchased a handsome silver for the infant upon which he ordered the f c w k with the customary vine looking and a large full stop to be engraved forthwith was a fine day tuesday was wednesday was equal to either and thursday was finer than ever four successive fine days in london became and crossing began to doubt the existence of a first cause the morning herald informed its readers that an old woman in town had been heard to say that the of the season was in the memory of the oldest and clerks with families and small left ofi black to carry their once green cotton and walked to town in the conscious pride of white stockings and brushed beheld all this with an eye of supreme contempt his triumph was at hand he knew tliat if it had been fine for four weeks instead of four days it would rain when he went out he was happy in the conviction that friday would be a wretched day and so it was i knew how it would be said as he turned round opposite the mansion house at half past eleven o clock on the friday morning i knew how it would be am concerned and that s enough and certainly the appearance of the day was to the spirits of a much more hearted individual than himself it had rained without a moment s since eight o clock every body that passed up and down looked wet cold and dirty all sorts of forgotten and long concealed had been put into about t ft l x sketches by sm j up behind two glazed picture in any one of s smoked like steam nobody t of standing np under or arches they were painfully con it was a hopeless case and so went hastily along and and swearing and and slipping like amateur be d wooden chairs on ihe on a sunday paused he could not of walking being rather smart for the if he took a cab be was to be and a was too for his ideas an was waiting at the opposite comer it was a case he had never heard of an or running away and if the did knock him down he could pull him up in return now sir cried the young gentleman who as to the lads of the village which was the name of the just noticed crossed this sir shouted the driver of the hark away pulling up his vehicle immediately across the door of the opposition this sir he s hesitated whereupon the lads of the village commenced pouring out a torrent of abuse against the hark away f but the conductor the admiral settled the contest in a most satisfactory manner for all parties by seizing round the waist and thrusting him into the middle of his vehicle which had just come up and only wanted the sixteenth inside a right the admiral and off the thing thundered like a fire engine at full gallop with the customer inside standing in the position of a half doubled up and falling about with every jerk of the machine first on the one side and then on the other like a jack in the green on may day setting to the lady with a brass for
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sake where am i to sit inquired tiie man of an old gentleman into he had just for fourth time any where but on my ar replied the old in a tone perhaps tiie box would suit gentleman better suggested a very damp lawyer s k in a pink and a countenance after a great deal of ling and falling about at last managed to squeeze himself into a seat in addition to the slight disadvantage of being between a window that not and a door that must be open placed in dose contact with a passenger who had been walking about all the an umbrella and who looked as if he had the day in a full water butt only don t bang tiie door so said to the conductor as he shut it after letting out four of the passengers i am very nervous it me did any gen n say any think relied the thrusting in his head and trying to look as if he didn t understand the request i told you not to bang the door so repeated with an of countenance like the of clubs in oh its rather a about this ho door sir that it von t shut without replied the conductor and he opened the door very wide and shut it again with a terrific bang in proof of the assertion i beg your pardon sir s little old gentleman sitting opposite i beg your pardon but have you ever observed when you have been in an on a wet day that four people out of five always come in with large cotton without a handle at the top or the brass at the bottom why sir returned as he heard tiie clock strike twelve it the never struck me before but now you mention it i shouted the persecuted individual as the bed past lane where he had directed to be set down where is the i think he s on the box sir said the young gentleman before noticed m the pink shirt which looked like a white one ruled with red ink i want to be set down said in a faint voice overcome by his previous efforts i think these want to foe set returned the attorney s clerk at his sally i cried again echoed the passengers the st s church hold hard said the conductor i m if we ha n t the gen n as vas to be set down at now sir make haste if you please he added opening the door and assisting out with as much coolness as if it was all right s indignation was for once getting e better of his cynical lane he gasped with the voice of a boy in a cold for the first time lane sir yes sir third turning on the right side sir s passion was he his umbrella and was off with the firm determination of not paying the fare the by a coincidence to entertain a directly contrary opinion and heaven knows how far the would have proceeded if it had not been and brought to a dose by the driver said person standing up on the box and leaning with one hand on the roof of the tom tell the gentleman if so be as he feels we will take him up to the edge er e road for nothing and set him down at lane when we comes back he can t reject that the argument was irresistible the disputed sixpence and in a quarter of an hour was on staircase of no great street every thing indicated that were making for the reception of a few friends in the evening two dozen extra and four wine glasses looking anything but transparent with bits of straw in them were on the in the passage just arrived there was a great smell of port wine and on the staircase the covers were taken off the stair and the figure of on the t landing looked as if she were ashamed of the in her right hand which contrasted beautifully with the of the goddess of loi e the female servant who looked very warm and bustling ushered into a front drawing room very prettily furnished with a plentiful of baskets paper table china pink and gold au um y and rainbow bound little books on the different tables ah uncle said mr how d ye do allow me my dear my uncle i think you ve seen j before sir have had the re returned big his tone and look making it doubtful whether in bis life he had ever experienced the sensation i m sure said mrs with a languid smile and a slight cough i m hem any of hem less a relation is i knew you d say so my love said little who while he appeared to be gazing on uie opposite houses was looking at his wife with a most affectionate air bless you the last two words were accompanied with a and a squeeze of the hand whidi stirred up all undo s jane teu nurse to bring down baby said mrs addressing the servant mrs was a tall thin young lady with very light u sketches by hair and a particularly white one of those young women who almost though one hardly knows why to one s mind the idea of a cold of out went the servant and in came the nurse with a remarkably small parcel in her arms packed up in a blue mantle with white fur this was the baby now uncle said mr lifting up that part of the which d the infant s face with an air of great triumph who do you think he he he yes who said mrs k putting her arm
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through her husband s and looking up into s face with an expression of as much interest as she was capable of displaying good god how small he is cried the amiable uncle starting back with well feigned surprise remarkably small indeed do you think so inquired poor little rather alarmed he s a monster to what he was ain t he nurse he s a dear said the nurse the child and the question not because she to disguise the fact but because she couldn t afford to throw away the chance of s half crown well but who is he uke inquired looked at the pink heap before him and only thought at the moment of the best mode of the youthful parents i really don t know who he s like he answered very well knowing the reply expected of him don t you think he s like inquired his nephew with a knowing air oh decidedly not i returned with an emphasis not to be misunderstood decidedly not like you oh certainly not like asked b dear no not in the least m do of course in but i really think he a more like one of those carved representations that one sometimes sees blowing a trumpet on a the nurse stooped down over the child and with great difficulty prevented an of mirth pa and ma looked almost as miserable as their amiable uncle well said the disappointed father you be better able to tell what he s like by and by yon shall see him this evening with his mantle off thank you said feeling particularly grateful now my love said to his wife it s time we were off we re to meet the other and the at the church uncle mr and from over the way uncommonly nice people my love are you well wrapped up r yes dear are you sure you won t have another shawl inquired the anxious husband no sweet returned the mother accepting s proffered arm and the party entered the coach that was to take them to the church amusing mrs by lai on the danger of teeth cutting and other interesting diseases to which children are subject the ceremony which occupied about five minutes passed off without anything particular the clergyman had to dine some distance from town and had two three and a funeral to perform in something less than an hour the and therefore promised to the devil and all his works and all that sort of as in less than no time and with the exception of nearly letting the child fall into the when be handed it to the clergyman the whole affair went off in the usual and matter of course manner and re entered the bank gates at wo c ith a heavy and the the painful conviction that he was regularly for an evening party evening came and bo did s black silk stockings and white which he had ordered to be forwarded per boy from the depressed dressed himself at a friend s counting house from whence with his spirits fifty degrees below proof he forth as the weather had cleared up and the evening was tolerably fine to walk to great street slowly he paced up street down hill and up looking as grim as the figure head of a man of war and finding out fresh causes of misery at every step as he was crossing e comer of a man apparently rushed against him and would have knocked him down had he not been caught by a very genteel young man who happened to be close to him at the time the shock so s nerves as well as his dress that he could hardly the gentleman took his arm and in the kindest manner walked with him as far as s inn for about the first time in his ufe felt grateful and polite and he and the gentlemanly looking young man parted with mutual expressions of good will there are at least some well disposed men in the world the as he proceeded towards his destination rat ta ra ra ra ra rat knocked a coachman at s door in imitation of a gentleman s servant just as reached it and out came an old lady in a large and an old gentleman in a blue coat and three female copies of the old lady in pink dresses ana shoes to match it s a large party sighed the unhappy wiping the perspiration from his forehead and leaning against the area it was some time before the miserable man could muster up courage to knock at the door and when he did the smart appearance of a neighbouring who had been hired to wait for seven and sixpence and whose alone were worth double the money the lamp in the passage and the on the landing added to the hum of many voices and the sound of a harp and two painfully convinced him that his were but too well founded how are you said little in a greater bustle than ever out of the little back parlour with a in his hand and various of looking like so many on his good i said turning into the parlour to put his shoes on which he had brought in his coat pocket and still more appalled by the sight of seven fresh drawn and a corresponding number of how many people are there up stairs oh not above thirty five we ve had the taken up in the back drawing room and the piano and the card tables are in the front thought we d better have a regular sit down supper in the front parlour because of ttie and all that but lord uncle what s the matter continued the excited little man as stood
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with one shoe on his pockets with the most frightful of what ve you lost i your t no returned first into one pocket and then into the other and speaking in a voice like with the pillow over her mouth your card case snuff box the key of your lodgings continued pouring question on question with the rapidity of lightning no i no ejaculated still eagerly into his empty pocket not not the you spoke of this morning yes the replied sinking into a chair sketches by how yon done it are you sore yoa brought it out ye yes i see it all said starting up as the idea flashed his mind miserable dog that i am i was bom to suffer i see it all it was the gentlemanly looking man i mr shouted the in a voice as he ushered the somewhat recovered into the drawing room half an after the above declaration mr everybody looked at the door and in came feeling about as much out of place as a salmon might be supposed to be on a walk happy to see you again said mrs quite of the unfortunate man s and misery yon must allow me to introduce you to a few of our friends my mamma mr my papa and sisters seized the hand of the mother m warmly as if she was hia own parent bowed to the and a gentleman him and took no notice whatever of the who had been bowing incessantly for three minutes and a quarter uncle said little had been introduced to a select or two you must let me lead jou to the other end of the room to introduce you to my friend a splendid fellow i i m sure you like him this way followed as as a tame bear mr was a young man of about five and twenty with stock of impudence and a very share of ideas he was a great especially with young ladies cf from sixteen to twenty six years of age both he could imitate the french to admiration sang comic songs most and had the most way of saying impertinent to his female admirers he had acquired somehow op other the reputation of being a t and accordingly he opened his mouth everybody who knew him laughed very heartily the introduction took place in due form mr bowed and a lady s handkerchief which he held in his hand in a moat comic way everybody smiled very warm said it necessary to say something yes it was warmer yesterday returned the brilliant mr a general i have great pleasure in co ta you on your first appearance in the of a father sir he addressing i mean the young were and tiie gentlemen in a general of admiration the and the entrance of with the baby an universal of i ladies took girls are jo fond of in company oh you dear t said one how sweet cried another in a low tone of the most admiration heavenly added a third oh i what dear little arms i said a fourth holding up an arm said about the and shape of hie leg of a fowl picked did said a with a large who looked like a french appealing to a gentleman in coats did you ever never in my life returned admirer up hia collar oh let me take it another young lady the love can it open its eyes t inquired another the utmost innocence suffice it to say that single ladies him an angel and that the married ones agreed that he the finest baby they had ever their own the were with v f was p the sally admitted to be himself several young ladies enchanted the company and gained admirers by singing we met i saw her at the fancy fair and other equally sentimental and interesting the young men as mrs said made themselves very agreeable the girls did not lose their opportunity and the evening promised to go off didn t mind it he had devised a plan for himself a little bit of fun in his own way and he was almost happy he played ft rubber and lost every point mr said he could not have lost every point because he made a point of losing everybody laughed retorted with a better joke and nobody smiled with the exception of the host who seemed to it his duty to laugh till he k in the face at there was only one the did not play with quite as much spirit as could have been wished the cause however was satisfactorily explained for it appeared on the testimony of a gentleman who had come up firom in the afternoon that they had been engaged on board a steamer all day and had played almost without all the way to and all the way back again the sit down supper was excellent there were four sugar temples on the table which would have looked beautiful if they had not melted away when the supper began and a water mill whose only that instead of going round it ran over the table cloth then there were fowls and tongue and trifle and sweets and and beef and every thing and little kept calling out for clean plates and the clean plates did not come and then the gentlemen who wanted the plates said tliey didn t mind they d take a lady s and then mrs applauded their gallantry and the ran about till he thought his seven and sixpence was very hardly and the young ladies didn t eat much for fear it t look romantic and the married ladies eat as much as possible for fear they shouldn t have enough and a great
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deal of wine was drunk and everybody talked and laughed considerably hush hush said mr rising and looking very important my love this was addressed to his wife at the other end of the table take care of mrs and your and the rest of the married ladies the gentlemen will persuade the young ladies to fill their glasses i am sure ladies and gentlemen said long in a very voice and accent rising from his chair like the ghost in don will yon have the kindness to charge your i am of proposing a toast a dead silence ensued and the glasses were filled everybody looked serious ladies and gentlemen slowly continued the ominous i here mr two notes from the french horn in a very loud key which the nervous toast and his audience order said little bell endeavouring to suppress his laughter said the gentlemen be quiet said a particular friend on the opposite side of the table ladies and gentlemen resumed somewhat recovered and not much disconcerted for he was always a pretty good hand at a speech in accordance with what is i believe the established usage on these occasions i as one of the of master charles william here the speaker s voice faltered for he remembered the venture to rise to propose a toast i need hardly say that it is the health and prosperity of a a l is sketches by the particular event of whose early life are here met to applause ladies and gentlemen it is impossible to suppose that our friends here whose sincere well w e all are can pass through life without some trials considerable suffering severe affliction and heavy losses here the arch traitor paused and slowly drew forth a long white his example was followed by several ladies that these trials may be long spared them is my most earnest prayer my most fervent wish a distinct sob from the grandmother i hope and trust gentlemen that the infant whose we liave this evening met to may not be removed from the arms of his parents by premature decay several were in that his young and now apparently healthy form may not be wasted by lingering disease here cast a glance around for a great sensation was manifest among tlie married ladies yon i am sure will with me in wishing that he may live to be a comfort and a blessing to his parents hear hear and an audible sob from mr but should he not be what we could wish should he forget in after times the duty which he owes to them should they unhappily experience that truth how than a serpent s tooth it is to have a child here mrs with her handkerchief to her eyes and accompanied by several ladies rushed from the room and went into violent in the passage leaving her better half in almost as bad a condition and a general im in favour for people ke sentiment after all it need hardly be added that this occurrence quite put a stop to the harmony of the evening and cold water were now as much in request as cakes and hon had been a short e before mrs was immediately conveyed to her apartment the were silenced ceased and tlie company slowly departed left the house at the commencement of the bustle and walked home with a light step and for him a cheerful heart his landlady who slept in the next room has offered to make oath that she h rd him in his peculiar manner after he had locked his door the assertion however is so improbable and bears on tlie face of it such strong evidence of that it has never obtained to this hour the family of mr has considerably increased the period to which we have referred he has now two sons and a daughter and as he expects at no distant period to have another addition to his blooming he is anxious to secure an eligible for the occasion he is determined however to impose upon him two conditions he must bind himself by a solemn obligation not to make any speech after supper and it is indispensable that he should be in no way connected the most miserable man in the world the s death chapter xii the s death we will be bold to say that there is scarcely a man in the constant habit of walking day after day through any of the crowded of london who cannot recollect among the people whom he knows by sight to use a familiar phrase some being of abject and appearance whom he remembers to have seen in a different condition whom he has observed sinking lower and lower by almost degrees and the and utter of whose appearance at last strike forcibly ana painfully upon him as he passes by is there any man who has mixed much with society or whose have caused him to mingle at one time or other with a great number of people who cannot call to mind the time when some shabby miserable wretch in rags and who past him now in all the of disease and poverty was a respectable or a clerk or a man following some pursuit with good prospects and decent means i or cannot any of our readers call to mind from among the list of their acquaintance some fallen and degraded man who about the pavement in hungry misery from whom every one turns coldly away and who preserves himself from sheer starvation nobody knows how alas such cases are of too frequent occurrence to be rare in any man s experience and but too often arise from one that fierce rage for the slow sure poison that every other consideration that casts aside wife children friends happiness and station and
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threw himself down on his knees on the grass and prayed to god that if his mother was in heaven he would hear her prayers for pardon for her youngest son i was her favourite boy will he said and i am glad to think now that when she was dying though i was a very young child then and my uttle heart was bursting i knelt down at the foot of the bed and thanked god for having made me so fond of her as to have never once done anything to bring the tears into her eyes o will why was she taken away and father left there s his dying words father said the young man make the best you can of em you struck him across the face in a drunken fit the morning we ran away and here s the end of it the girl wept aloud and the father sinking his head upon his knees rocked himself to and fro if i am taken said uie young man i shall be carried back into the country and hung for that man s murder they cannot trace me here without father for aught i know you may give me up to justice but unless you do here i stop until i can venture to escape for two whole days all three remained in the wretched room without stirring out on the third evening however the girl was worse than she had been yet and the few scraps of food they had were gone it was necessary that somebody go out and as the girl was too weak and ill uie father went just at he got some medicine for the and a trifle in the way of pecuniary assistance on his way back be earned sixpence by holding a and he turned with money to supply their most wants for two or three days to come he had to pass the public he lingered for an instant walked past t ma un lingered once the s death and finally in two men whom he had not were on the watch they were on the point of giving up their search in despair when his attracted their attention and when he entered the public house they followed him you drink with me master d one of them him a of liquor and me too said the other the glass as soon as it was drained of its contents the man thought of hb hungry children and his son s danger but they were nothing to the he did drink and his reason left him a wet night whispered one of the men in his ear as he at length turned to go away after spending in liquor one half of the money on which perhaps his daughter s life depended the right sort of night for our friends in hiding master whispered the sit down here said the one who had spoken first drawing him into a comer we have been looking the young un we came to teu him it s all right now but we couldn t find him e we hadn t got the precise direction but that ain t strange for i don t think he know d it himself when he come to london did he no he didn t replied the father the two men exchanged glances there s a vessel down at the to at midnight when it s high water resumed the first speaker and we ll put him on board his passage is taken in another name and what s better than that it paid for it s lucky we met you very said the second capital luck said the first with a wink to his companion great the second with a slight nod of intelligence another glass here quick said the first speaker and in five minutes more the father had unconsciously yielded up his own son into the s hands slowly and heavily the time dragged along as the brother and sister in miserable hiding place listened in anxious suspense to the slightest sound at length a heavy footstep was heard upon the stair it approached nearer it reached the landing and the father staggered into the room the girl saw that he was and advanced with the candle in her hand to meet him she stopped short gave a loud scream and fell senseless on the she had caught sight of the shadow of a man reflected on the floor they both rushed in and in another instant the young man was a prisoner and very quietly done said one of the men to his companion thanks to the old man lift up the girl tom come come it s no use crying young woman it s all over now and can t be helped the young man stooped for an instant over the girl and then turned fiercely round upon his father who had against the wall and was gazing on the group with drunken stupidity listen to me father he said in a tone that made the s flesh creep my brother s blood and mine is on your head i never had kind look or word or care from you and alive or dead i never will forgive you die when you will or how i will be with you i speak as a dead man now and i warn you father that as surely as you must one day stand before your maker so surely shall your children be there hand in hand to cry for judgment against you he raised his in a threatening attitude fixed his on his shrinking parent and slowly left the room and neither father nor sister ever beheld him more on this side of the grave when the dim and misty light of a winter s morning penetrated into the narrow court and struggled through the window of uie wretched room
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against the english and american between and the russian in america has become a kind of commercial the english in and new have opened a direct trade with the indian and china the permanent of intelligent and americans and english in me ia and on the eastern and western shores of the pacific have proved so many ts for the adventurous with its innumerable islands and for the as the world here and there or greatest addition of all is a name in the world of commerce and enterprise to with there gold is to be had for gold the main spring of commercial activity the reward of toil for which men are ready to risk life to endure every sort of sometimes alas i to sacrifice every virtue one most especially and that is patience they will away with her now till the discovery of the new gold country how they round cape horn creeping down one coast and up another but now such delay is not to be thought of already i deed has become the seat of a great increasing and trade this cannot il to the settled population of the re on its wealth and intelligence upon these ct we rest the conviction that the time has arrived for the project of a ship canal there or in the near neighbourhood that a ship and not a railway is what is first wanted for very soon there will be both must be obvious to all acquainted with the practical details of commerce the delay and expense to which merchants are subjected when obliged to break bulk repeatedly between the port whence they sail and that of their destination is extreme the waste and of goods the cost of the operation are also heavy and to these they are subject by the stormy passage round cape horn two points present themselves offering great for the execution of a ship canal the one is in the immediate vicinity of where the many imperfect observations which have hitherto been made are yet sufficient to leave no doubt that as the distance is comparatively short the summit are and the supply of water ample the other is some notes of travellers to the northward the is there broader but is in part occupied by the large and deep water lakes of and the lake of with the atlantic by a copious river which may either be rendered or be made the source of supply ht a side canal the space between the two lakes is of extent and presents no great difficulties the elevation of the lake of above the is there is no hill range between it and the of and sir edward carried his surveying ship sixty miles up the real which rises near the lake and into the the line of the canal presents as remarks equal to those of the line of the canal the line is not more difficult than that of the canal of a work executed between and at a time when the to be by it did not exceed if it equalled that which will find its way across the when great part of the country was as inhabited by as poor a population as the now is and when the last storms of civil war and the of louis xiv unsettled men s minds and made person and property the effects of such an undertaking if to a successful dose it is even to estimate the it will communicate to the already rapid progress of in the pacific is obvious and no less obvious are the effects it will have upon the mutual relations of states seeing that the recognition of the independence and in times of general war of the canal and the region through which it passes is indispensable to c the world here and there or we have dwelt principally on the commercial the economical of the for they are what must render it possible but the of christian and the ia universal peace among nations have yet a deeper interest in it in the words used by prince at the dinner at the mansion house respecting the great exhibition of arts and industry nobody who has paid any attention to the particular features of our present era will doubt for a moment that we are living at a period of most wonderful transition which rapidly to accomplish that great end to which indeed all history points the of the unity of mankind not a unity which breaks down the limits and the peculiar characteristics of the different nations of the earth but rather a unity the result and product of those very national varieties and qualities the distances which separated the different nations and parts of the globe are gradually vanishing before the achievements of modem invention and we can them with incredible speed the languages of all nations are and their placed within the reach of everybody thought is communicated with the rapidity and even by the power of li every short cut across the globe brings man in closer communion with his distant brotherhood and results in prosperity and peace the op that little neck of land which lies between the head of the red sea and the of a in the is the cause of the two longest sides of notes of travellers the continent of on its way to the east instead of making the short cut which is available for passengers by what is called the route if a water way were opened across the the highway for the goods traffic as well for the passenger traffic of europe india china and will be along the and bed seas and the indian ocean and that highway will be so thronged that the expense of travelling by it will be reduced to a and the for travellers at stations raised to a of comfort this state
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of affairs to that which occurs in the intercourse of two towns where there is a round about road for carts and carriages and a across the meadows for only is attended by great letters relating to transactions are forwarded by the short cut the to which they relate follows by the road the advantageous bargain concluded now may have a very different aspect when the goods come to be delivered three or four months hence the seven league boot expedition of letters and the progress of goods convert all transactions between ei land and india into a game of chance this that spirit of gambling speculation too among us again so long as the route for passengers continues to be something different and apart from the route for the travelling charges will be kept higher and the for travellers less comfortable than they would otherwise be in arranging their of venture to reduce the charge for passengers in the hope of their number when they can rely upon the returns from the goods traffic to make up if as well as travellers and the world here and there or letters could be carried by what is called the route of which scarcely two hundred miles are travelled by land the passengers would admit of great and as that route would thus become the great highway frequented by greater crowds the accommodation of travellers could be better cared for travellers in carriages rarely reflect how much the amount of charges at depends upon the having a profitable run of business among less distinguished guests we remarked when on the route physical obstacles to the opening of short cuts are of much less consequence than those which in financial difficulties almost any physical obstacles may be overcome if money can be invested in the undertaking and if money can be got for such were we of companies and engaged in preparing an attractive we might boldly declare that the obstacles in the construction of a ship canal at are trifling and that the work would prove amply but being only impartial spectators we are obliged to confess that our information respecting the nature of the country is and that what we do know does not warrant any sanguine expectation public attention has been directed from the true line of a ship canal across the of the late ah peace to his ashes i was a of the first water and he knew how to avail himself of the services of kindred spirits he understood enough of european and sentiments to know what tone of language he must adopt in order to persuade he was their views while he was in reality his own he talked therefore of the intercourse between india and europe but he thought of making that notes of travellers pan throng his by the longest the wa j which would to leave the greatest possible amount of money behind them and to attain his ends he retained in his service a group of the vain the ignorant and the who did his after a that bears testimony to his judgment and tact in selecting what is really wanted for the commerce of europe and india is a ship canal across the of by the shortest and least difficult route what was a land passage through his by the longest possible route the natural course of a ship canal is in a straight line from to the eastern extremity of lake the line of by is from by to nearly three times as long the former line passes across a low and well watered r ion the latter renders necessary an of canal and river and dry land passage across the desert the former might be passed in a day without halting the latter several days and necessary in the of and but and his tools directed attention from the former and about and other and the european public was egypt can be reached any day by a fortnight s easy and luxurious travel and yet the country between the eastern extremity of lake and is less accurately known than the of what we do know with any degree of certainty about this is briefly as follows the of the bed sea in the vicinity of is rather intricate in but there is secure and sufficient of water for merchant ships of considerable burden the off the the world here and there or eastern extremity of lake is rather shallow sheltered from the west wind which for a part of the year but exposed to the north wind between and the site of the ruins of at the eastern end of the lake the land is low and level apparently for a part of the way between the level of both seas the low land receives in the wet season the of the high land on the east which is a northern of the mountains between the of and in addition to this the land to the westward northward of the mountains which near has a slope the northward to the the secondary eastward to the line of country we are now describing originally there appears to have been a branch of the entering the near where the ruins of now are and those branches between that and the branch the first mentioned is now closed the other two very much but their waters still find a way to the coast though by artificial works and appear to be the cause of the collection of shallow water called lake here then we have sixty miles of a low country with no considerable towards which the waters of flow in their season and towards which a considerable portion of the waters of the would flow if left to m on the natural of the country there is an abundant supply of water for a ship canal the surface of the ground is in
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