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t3_4ra313
|
relationships
|
He's no longer attracted to me
|
My boyfriend (33M) and I (27F) have been together 5 years. Due to my lack of sexy self esteem, our sex life was never hot and heavy but we were intimate in the beginning.
Over the time we have been together, I gained weight. About 20lbs but it's evenly distributed on me. He has told me he isn't attracted to me anymore due to the weight gain. He wants me to get fit and motivated and get in shape but damn, it's literally been 1.5 to 2 yrs of no intimacy and there are days that I feel so low about it. Everything else is good. We have fun and we laugh and he's my best friend. But this is so hard. We have had the breakup talk but neither of us follows through.
Is it time to move on? Is that seriously a deal breaker? Has anyone gone through a drought but gotten it back?
|
no more attraction towards me. No sex for almost 2 years. What to do?
|
t3_1ypa7p
|
dating_advice
|
My date [28M] from a dating app did not kiss me [22F] on our first date
|
Hi /dating_advice!
So I[22F] went on to a casual date with a guy[28] I met through an online dating app. Initially we planned to have a coffee and chat for two hours or so, but the date ended up being 4-5 hours long. He knew I had work related plans afterwards which got postponed for couple of hours but he stayed around. We walked and talked and laughed a lot, and it seemed to me that we both had a great day. I should also add that he is extremely good looking, very nice and has good manners.
During the date we talked about seeing each other again sometime -and this conversation came up couple of times-. But he never kissed me. I should also add that I live in a conservative country but I am not a conservative person. Maybe he thought kissing on the first date might freak me out? I want to go with this theory, considering he spent 1/5th of his day with me and did not disappear after half an hour or so. And after we left he texted immediately telling me he had fun etc.
So what do you think? He likes me? He doesn't like me?
|
I [22F] went on a date with a guy[28] I met through an online dating app, and had a great time but he did not kiss me
|
t3_4gaype
|
relationships
|
My [14M] brother told me [18M] that he saw our father [55M] masturbating and watching porn, and I don't know how to handle it
|
The other day my younger brother (we'll call him Ryan) told me that he came home from his friend's house and walked upstairs, and saw porn playing on the computer in our father's office and him sitting in a chair. He said he couldn't see exactly what he was doing, but he could guess. Ryan seemed very upset by what he saw. He was concerned about our parent's marriage (they've been happily married for 25 years) and seemed troubled overall. Ryan says our father doesn't know he saw him. He ran back outside after he saw what was going on.
Our father and family as a whole is pretty reserved. We don't talk openly about these types of things, and I know my dad would be very embarrassed if he found out my brother saw him.
I reassured Ryan that their marriage is fine, and that masturbating isn't evil or unhealthy. I ended the conservation quickly though because I felt really uncomfortable and was totally caught off guard. I always assumed my father masturbated, but I've never seen him do it. He's never talked to us about masturbation so it would be pretty uncomfortable bringing it up.
Should I tell my father about this? Should I talk to Ryan again? This happened a few days ago and he's still quiet around our dad. Thank guys!
|
My younger brother saw our dad watching porn and masturbating. He came to me distressed, and I'm not sure what else I should do.
|
t3_2yf6xw
|
relationships
|
[Breakups] Does anyone really get closure, and can you ever really get rid of "baggage?"
|
I've never experienced what I could call "closure" after a breakup. There are always unanswered questions, things left unsaid, and feelings of dissatisfaction over how things ended. Despite my efforts to communicate during and after a breakup, no woman has been candid about her reasons for breaking up with me, her feelings about things I've done wrong, ways I might have hurt her, etc. Whether the relationship ended in a whirlwind of emotion or an unfeeling Facebook message, I've never felt like an ex and I managed to say everything that needed to be said. The result is moving on in life with the nagging feeling that the relationship, while over, is unresolved.
Does anyone *really* get closure? Is closure just a relationship myth?
I also find myself with quite a bit of baggage from previous relationships. Some of it is related to the lack of closure, but much of it takes the form of worries about problems from past relationships arising in new ones. It's gotten so bad that I've given up pursuing relationships entirely because I feel they're just doomed to fail the same way previous relationships did. I realize this is an extreme and irrational attitude, I haven't been able to shake it.
Have you ever rid yourself of emotional "baggage" from previous relationships, or is it just something you've had to accept and deal with?
|
Is closure real / Have you ever gotten closure? Have you ever successfully rid yourself of baggage?
|
t3_1fgx9k
|
relationships
|
Girlfriend (21) of 5.5 years slept with my good friend while we were on a break. (I'm 22 male)
|
My girlfriend and I had decided to take a little break for a 2 weeks and then in turned into a little over a month. We did not speak the first 2 weeks, but then we hung out and even went to Kansas City for baseball games. Some days we would just have sex. But the past 2 weeks I told her I would like to be with her. I had been loving on her, cuddling, kissing, holding hands, taking her places and doing things with her. And then I found out she slept with my good buddy even though things were going really great between us and she agreed. I feel angry and am baffled that this happened. I confronted her and she spilled the beans. I told her I couldn't believe they would do that, and that I thought she was better than that. I told her I had to leave before I blew up in her face. She didn't want me to go and had a panicked look of desperation while she was crying as I walked out. I had put in so much into this and my emotions are still with her. Should I date her? Move on? And if she calls what should I say? She has already called a couple times, but I have not answered. I feel like I put so much into this and don't know if I can let her go, but this stings.
I really have 5.5 years of feelings and love for this girl. I realize it was a "break," but I just don't know if I could get over the fact that she did that with my "friend." Things had been going great when I didn't know what happened. I already dropped my friend, but haven't talked to him about it.
|
Went on a "break (eh questionable)" and my girl of 5 years slept with my "good friend."
|
t3_3wdnki
|
relationships
|
Me [25/F] with my BF [32/M] have great sex but I still feel alone?
|
I have been dating this guy for several months, he was nice and caring at first. However, his temper got a bit short lately. Everytime I sleep next to him, I feel like he's a stranger to me. I feel extremely lonely, very very depressed that the man I once liked is so distant.
Has this ever happened to anyone else? I can't help but feel like it's me, I can't help but feel like we have grown apart or something. His soft kind words are sharp and it cuts like a knife. His warm body lays next to me but emotionally I feel cold and dead inside.
What do?
|
Feeling emotionally alone but still crave the physical affection.
|
t3_nj5qe
|
AskReddit
|
I feel left out around other guys. Is it because I am awesome, different, behind the times, or weird?
|
I'm a 24 year old college grad. I love all my local sports teams. I go hunting, fishing and hiking. I have a regular desk job. I don't do drugs. I go to happy hour. I only drink whiskey and beer. I like movies with boobs and explosions. I like wearing a suit. I pretty much wear business casual everywhere I go. I know 6 different ways to tie a knot.
Why do I feel so left out among guys? I literally hang out with girls just so I feel comfortable being uncomfortable about what they're talking about. You see all those "Men what the fuck happened?" posts? I go through that every day. I have about 3 friends that are like me. The rest of the male population is fucking weird.
I went out to dinner with a group of people, and the guys were sitting there talking about tanning and fucking hair dye. I ordered a regular beer and watch the guys down cranberry vodkas, bahama mama's etc. We talked more about Tom Brady's uggs (ONE OF THESE CLOWNS WAS WEARING A PAIR!!!!) than we did about Tom Brady playing Tim Tebow.
|
I'm a regular guy. I don't like being around most other men because I think they're a bunch of pussies.
|
t3_2itxre
|
legaladvice
|
[California] Traffic accident; errors in police report that favor the other party. What do I do about that, and what does the law say about such accidents?
|
A week-ish or so ago, my wife was in a traffic accident. She was in the primary lane, and another vehicle was in the merging lane and was driving roughly parallel to her. Traffic was heavy, but my wife was maintaining a constant speed. The other party sped up and tried to swerve in front of my wife, but hit her twice on the front/right fender, leaving marks in two spots in the side of her car. The officer correctly notes in his report that the other car sideswiped her. The other car then entered my wife's lane halfway, then pulled over. When she rapidly entered my wife's lane and braked, they collided again, but there's nearly no damage from that one since they both reduced their speed immediately.
The police report ( [1] ) lists my wife as the cause of the accident. The officer seemed to take the other driver's story at face value, but it doesn't seem to explain how the damage could have happened to the side of both cars. The officer also took at face value that the other car was ahead, which isn't factual; that would indicate that my wife intentionally rammed the other car.
I feel that CVC 21658a is very clear, when it says "A vehicle shall be driven as nearly as practical entirely within a single lane and shall not be moved from the lane until such movement can be made with reasonable safety." The other driver did not signal, did not check her blind spot and turned into my wife.
The deputy will (hopefully) be calling me tomorrow to discuss my perspective. Are there any issues with his report that I can address? Can he document the other driver's statements as fact, even though no witnesses stopped and the officer didn't see what happened? Both drivers have differing statements; how can the officer make a definitive statement of what happened when he only has two conflicting stories?
|
Car swideswiped my wife while merging; officer said it's my wife's fault.
|
t3_3oe3o4
|
relationships
|
I am a [31 M] dating a [26 F] for two months. Her father is dying, what can I do to comfort her without overstepping any boundaries as we are not "official"?
|
We've been dating for about two months. I've known about her father dying for a while. Initially I said that our time together can just be a fun distraction for her to get some relief. We never spoke about it, I was mindful though, made sure there was no drama and I've respected her space.
Recently, we have been spending a lot of time together and gotten more serious. She has started to open up about her father. She visits him every weekend, it's quite traumatic for her as he has Alzheimer's.
I would like some advice on what to do, say, anything to support her. We are not officially together so it makes it hard to know where my place is or what she wants from me.
I don't want to overstep her boundaries but I don't know what they are.
Would really appreciate any advice.
|
Dating a girl whose father is dying. Need advice on comforting her.
|
t3_4ahvma
|
tifu
|
TIFU accidentally dropping my identity and $500 out of my pocket
|
So today began like any other, I put on my basically destroyed work pants because my slightly less destroyed pair were drying and went to work. Used my wallet to buy some brekky (more like lunch because I work an afternoon shift) on the way and had a good day. Fast forward to 2am getting ready to go to sleep when I notice I left a paystub on the corner of my desk from a few weeks back and remember there's still one in my wallet as well from last Friday. This is where the fuck up is realized, when I go to grab my wallet out of my work pants that are now on the floor my hand goes straight through the top of the pocket and out the bottom. There is a giant hole in my pocket, I had forgotten because I don't usually wear this pair of pants.
So my wallet is either
*A) at the Wendy's where i got my food
*B) at work(50/50 whether the person who finds it keeps it)
*C) in the hands of some homeless person.
on top of it all I had a $500 cheque and my SIN card is in my wallet because I'm retarded. I think I'm really fucked and I don't know what to do at all
|
forgot about a hole now I've been fucked
|
t3_1pt88g
|
tifu
|
TIFU... by walking into the room while my parents were having sex
|
I never thought I'd fucking say this. but now my innocent mind is scarred
I was sitting in the living room with my puppy, watching some Sunday morning talk show. She's sitting there, gnawing on her bone, when suddenly the television begins blaring. I freak out, thinking she was actually chewing on the remote and I frantically run over to her. She's confused because the television is so loud and I'm running around looking for the remote.
I think, somehow, that my parents, in their room (yea, I'm 23 and live at home. cheap rent ftw), have the wrong remote. I knock on their door and open it, yelling "where it's the remote!!" over the fucking insanely loud commercials--especially since we all know commercials get three times louder than the actual show.
yep. My dad is on top of my mom. I shut the door, and still search for the remote, but now I'm shaking. "it'll be okay, it's not that big of a deal" I tell myself. If only I knew what I'd feel like when the adrenaline left
Good news is that my dad found the remote. My ears still ring and my eyes are burning with almost spilled tears
|
never look for a remote begins a closed door. parents making whoopie in missionary plagues my mind
|
t3_2b8qkr
|
relationships
|
I [19 F] don't understand my mom [40 F] and her reasons for punishing me.
|
I'm a college sophomore and I stay at home.
Last night, my friends came over to my house to pick me up and my friend's car wouldn't start. We did everything that we could to get the car to work and my friend even suggested that we find a mobile mechanic. It was after midnight when the situation started. All of the mechanics were unavailable and we Google'd more options but we weren't successful. My mom's best friend left her car in our garage while they went out and I suggested that we use her car to jump the disabled one. I tried calling my mom and her friend but they didn't answer, however, I didn't tell them that we were using the car in my messages, which was a crucial piece that I left out. With a few searches, we figured out how to jump the vehicle. It was a little after 2 in the morning when we finally decided to use the other car. While I was backing the car out, I accidentally brushed it against a bush that lined our garage and didn't realized that it was scratched until my mom's friend told us this morning.
My mom's friend realized that her car was moved and asked me what happened to the side of car and I explain the whole situation. My mom flipped her lid. She said that we shouldn't have touched the car and what we did was disrespectful to her friend's property.
I didn't think we did anything wrong and we made a logical decision in a bad moment. My friends and I are pitching in to fix the car but my mom is still upset. She has taken away my car privileges ( my car is in the shop) and is restricting me from "social activities".
|
friend's car wouldn't start, used mom's best friend's car to jump it without asking (after calling/texting them a dozen times), scratched the car in the process, mom is upset and put me on "punishment".
|
t3_4tau8r
|
relationship_advice
|
PLEASE HELP -- my [20/f] mother [50/f] seems to be experiencing a serious mental breakdown !!!
|
She hasn't left her bed all day and she won't speak except in a whisper to tell me she wants to be alone.
It first started following an incident this morning where my brother blew up and had a fit of rage over an argument. It was obviously disproportionate for the situation but it seems to have shocked my mother beyond words. I talked it through with my brother and he's fine now, and he apologized profusely for his behavior. But my mother can't get over it. She's prostrate in her room, crying all day. I am extremely worried. She hasn't said a word to me except she wants to be alone. Please point me to any resources to handle a mental breakdown. We are not in the US btw.
|
my mother is having a mental breakdown over an incident with my brother where he got disproportionately angry. She hasn't spoken or eaten and has cried all day.
|
t3_2qk2uh
|
relationship_advice
|
I'm [26/m] and my gf [22/f] for 1y6m keeps bringing up bad things(sexual) that she does not approve of.
|
Hello, me and my gf don't have the same sexual past, I used to sleep around a bit and have one night stands and so on. But I was the first guy she ever went home with.
The thing is, when she is tired or angry she tends to take something that I have done (in the past) and ask me why I did it, what I was thinking and so on. She really wants me to say what I was feeling and say why I did this and that, how am I supposed to know my reasoning for doing things I did a few years back? I basically feel I am always defending my self for something I did before we were together. Fx. why I failed to use the condom one time or why I had one night stands or why I used to be so irresponsible. She finds all those things disgusting, but she tells me she knows I have changed. Even though, I feel that I am walking on a minefield, I never know when she might use something I have done to attack me, and all I can do is say I am sorry for what I did. I really like her, but how can I fix this? I have wondered if she might have some anxiety problems... I'm really lost here.
|
I feel that my gf uses things I did in the past to attack me and I don't know what to do...
|
t3_26pgkf
|
relationships
|
I (18M) am way to clingy and its effection my ability to start relationship
|
Okay so i(18M) am starting to text this girl I like but every time it takes her a little long to respond I start getting a very bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. Its so bad to where I'm unable to eat. It effects the way I act while im with my friends too.
The other day I texted this girl around 1pm and I don't get a response. then as me and my friends where driving around (about 5pm) we THINK we see her. Stupid me decided to send her another text saying she should just tell me if this isnt going to work as I call her out for driving around and not replying.... she was out of town with her family. This is not the only time ive been like this while talking to a girl
I can't keep acting like this because it ruined my other relationship and its still effecting the way I am with women. How to I just stop caring so much
|
I'm so clingy it's ruining my relationships with women
|
t3_30qemr
|
relationships
|
Me [20 M] with my gf [24 F] for 3 years, im starting to feel like it's a drag. Need some tips.
|
When I was 16 years old I met my gf, at the time she was 21 and was in a relationship. After getting to know her better and better, she cheated on her bf at that time, with me.
After a while she broke up with her then bf, and in about a month or so, we became a couple. We have been like this for 3 pretty solid years. I love her, I really do. But, with this being my first relationship ever I am starting to wonder what else there is in life/relationships.
My gf and I have allot of the same interests, like music and videogames, I feel this is like we get allong so well. And especially in the beginning I really enjoyed spending time with her. But lately it's becoming more of a drag.
As of late, I am starting to catch myself thinking about what it's like to have a relationship/seeing/sleeping with other people. I've told my gf that I felt a bit sad and weird(without specifiying anything yet), and she immediatly assumed it was her fault and she started feeling really bad. Wich it honestly it's not.
So im wondering if other people have experienced this, and if they did, how did they go about with it? Do u guys think it's a good idea to break up/ have a break, to increase my experience in life?
Or do you guys think that I should give it some time and maybe things will be better?
Hope you guys can give me some solid advice :)
|
Been in a happy first-ever relationship for 3 years. Starting to wonder what else there is in life/relationships.
|
t3_2zrbh1
|
tifu
|
TIFU by reliving a childhood trauma
|
So this happened last night and I didn't have time to post it until now so you are getting this a day late. Story time:
So when I was about 7, I saw the Goosebumps movie "Night of the Living Dummies 3". I understand that most people would watch that and laugh or think it is a little freaky, but for me, It just completely traumatized me. For the following month, I relived a scene were the dummy walks up to you when you are sleeping and turns you into a dummy over-and-over again every night. I barely slept that month and could not shake off those nightmares. For the rest of my life after that, any picture of a puppet would make me start to freak out a little (mostly just cringing and taking few extra breaths). Fast-forward to yesterday (now 21). I was joking with my roommates about that experience and we decided that I had the face that fear head-on. We placed a close up of that SPECIFIC puppet full screen on his computer and I would walk past it and look at it. I have successfully dodged looking at photos of that particular dummy since that experience so I didn't know what my reaction would be. So I do the walk-by, look at it, and start to freak the fuck out (like seriously freak out). I immediately got down to my knees, started seriously hyperventilating, got nauseous to the point of almost throwing up, and went into panic mode. What started out as a weird fear, has now turned into a serious and lingering anxiety. It has been almost 24 hours and I still feel completely on edge.
|
Looked at a puppet, now I have a anxiety issues.
|
t3_54wwvp
|
Advice
|
Need advice about girls
|
So I'm going to try and make this as short as possible. I went to a party on Saturday night (today is Wednesday). I went with 4 of my boys and did not know anyone there other than my buddies. So, one of my friends (we'll call him Jim) and I were interested in two girls. The girls were the party host and her best friend. We chilled and talked with them all night, my buddy and his girl made out a lot and even ended up having sex. My girl and I just talked, which was great because she was a great talker and very smart! We stayed there until 7am the next morning before having to leave due to work. I felt a real connection to my girl and I have been in love with her since the party but there are a few problems:
1) She has a boyfriend
2) Her boyfriend does a lot of bad shit to her (I want to help her with this)
3) She's the complete opposite of me; I'm a "good guy" and she's a "bad girl". By that, I mean I don't do illegal shit and she does.
I don't know what it is that made me love this girl but now I can't stop thinking about her. I've never been attracted to a girl as much as I have with her. I text her every now and then and we talk for a bit, but the replies are really slow. She told me I'm really nice at the party and that she wanted to be friends even after the party, but I don't know what to do now. I can never picture myself being with her unless she changes her ways and stops doing most, if not all, of the bad shit she does. Hey, the quote *"good girls and no fun and fun girls and no good"* is applying here. But I feel like I love her so much cause she's the complete opposite of me and "opposites attract".
|
Went to a party, met a girl who is the complete opposite of me (she's bad and I'm good) and fell in love with her but she's in a relationship.
|
t3_1h2n0d
|
relationships
|
How to tell conservative parents about me(23f) and my boyfriend's (26f) relationship?
|
How would I go about breaking the news to my very conservative parents? They know about my boyfriend, but they do not know how serious I actually am about him, and they have not met him yet either.
We have been dating for about a year now, and things are getting pretty serious. We have talking about potentially getting married in a few years, and I've met all his family. I love them, and we all get along well, I am just worried about him meeting my family. He is a wonderful man, and I want them to see that.
However, he is not the skin color of choice, which makes things a bit complicated. I am the first of my family to not have an arranged marriage, so my parents can't relate to dating and whatnot. We have never even talking about dating, or anything remotely close.
I have no idea how to go about this, and I do not want to just tell them, and have them deal with it. I would like to maintain a good relationship with my parents, and with my boyfriend (It's hard on him sometimes, and I know he tries to be understanding, but it still gets to him). I would like to be as respectful as possible, but I still want them to love and accept my boyfriend, as much as I do!
Thanks!
|
Conservative parents, how to tell them about my relationship without hurting the relationship between my parents and I
|
t3_3bp2y2
|
relationships
|
I [23M] am worried that my GF [22F] of 2 years is developing an eating disorder
|
I've been with my girlfriend, whom we'll call Jenny, for 2 years. She is a perfectly normal size at 5'3 and 145 lbs, and has stayed that size throughout our relationship. She's mentioned feeling a bit insecure about her body in the past, but I wasn't concerned about it because it seems like most women feel the same way (unfortunately). However, in the past few weeks I've noticed some concerning behaviour from her.
I usually cook breakfast for Jenny in the morning because I wake up early. A week or two ago I made her her regular breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast, and she turned it down, saying she didn't feel like eating the same thing again (She usually eats the same meal every morning.). She made herself a small salad with no meat or dressing. I didn't think much of this. However she has continued to eat a similarly small breakfast every day. She's also eating smaller portions for lunch and dinner, for example last night she filled up her plate with vegetables but took only a small amount of mashed potatoes + one chicken wing for dinner. She has also stopped eating snacks at all, and she now drinks regular coffee instead of fancy lattes and such.
I casually commented on her eating habits yesterday and asked why she was making such a drastic change. She just said that she was "trying to be more healthy". I can appreciate this, but her food habits seem less like eating healthy and more like starving herself. However, I'm unsure about this because she hasn't displayed any signs of body issues before this. I also don't know how to voice my concerns to her without sounding insulting. Do you guys have any ideas? I'm very concerned about her.
|
My girlfriend has drastically changed her food habits, despite having no need to diet. I'm worried that this is the beginning of an eating disorder.
|
t3_1wj10l
|
offmychest
|
I want to fuck her brains out.
|
Don't get me wrong! I am in no way a misogynist; quite the contrary, I love women, and this girl is just... mmm.
But oddly enough, out of all the things that I like about her and could go on about (how fit and attractive she is, how funny and witty, etc.), what makes me want to fuck her brains out is HOW FUCKING NICE AND UNDERSTANDING SHE IS!!! Seriously.
I have NEVER met anyone so nice. She tries her absolute hardest at all times to be courteous and understanding to everyone; if you talk about some horrible person such as a serial killer or a rapist, the worst thing she would say about them is, "Oh, well... I hope they can get help and change their ways." Most people, myself included, would just say that they should get 'the chair,' but not her. But she certainly isn't naive, oh no! She's so intelligent, and she has such a way with people. She wants to be a teacher, and good on her, because she will be one of those extremely few teachers whom every student loves and wants to have as their teacher.
She is a virgin, in her mid-twenties, and doesn't quite believe in sex before marriage, which is quite the opposite of me; as well, I'm currently dating someone, whom I love very much, and I am so against cheating that any girl could beg me for sex and I'd tell them to get lost; but if I were single, and she wanted to get intimate... no structure, force, or person would stop me.
She just emits this aura of tranquility and comfort; maybe only I notice it, but either way, it just makes me want to spend eternity caressing her fit and shapely body, touching every square millimetre of her skin.
If only I could have a lucid dream with her in it...
|
I really could fuck her personality!
|
t3_ferrx
|
AskReddit
|
My sister has offered me an out, is it worth it?
|
Specifically, my older sister is planning on moving up to Anchorage, Alaska in about a year and a half to be closer to his family, and has made the offer that if I wanted to, I could move in with her. As asked on the tin, Is this worth it?
I currently am only just barely graduating high school, I have my own car, I have a job that will get me started on my education here (Community college, of course) while I wait, but otherwise there's nothing really keeping me here. I'm possibly planning on going into Culinary school, though I'm not sure if there's any decent places out in Alaska that would be able to teach me this well, let alone get me into a job somewhere. I'm also willing to consider Electrical Engineering for my Major, or Network Administration/Other computer stuff for my Major, as those three areas are essentially what I'm interested at this point in time.
I get along well enough with my sister, though I've never really met her husband (though I've heard we're pretty like-minded people), so I'm not even sure if this will simply drive me to get out as quickly as possible from there as well (which isn't necessarily a bad thing). I would like to be out living away from family, even if I had room mates down the line for a period of time.
Is it worth moving out of Michigan (where I currently live) in a few years into Alaska?
|
Sister has offered to let me move from home in Michigan with her to Alaska in a year or so. Is college/job opportunities around there worth me moving out there instead of just staying at home?
|
t3_gacqw
|
relationships
|
I do not know how to title this, but..
|
.. my girlfriend(She is 18, I am 20) of 11 months now.. just broke up with me not twenty minutes ago, because she 'doesn't feel the connection anymore' and 'doesn't have the heart to try anymore'.. here's a full detailed version of prior to this..
Basically met over a game, fell in love, and decided to move in together. It went off well, we loved each other shared our problems, did alot of things outdoors, hiking, swimming, and sweating in the sun. For the first five months, things were great.. until I started expecting things without getting things across, having issues with the way she dealt with things, or the lack of her communication issues. Basically went through with that for the next four months expecting things from both sides to change without being told so, or being the first to do it. Because we're both stubborn(of course.) For the past month, we've been doing nothing but bickering, and.. well for lack of a better word the last week of the relationship, I did the worst thing possible. I ignored her for four days. Basically came to this realization for her that she saw how much we were fighting, and couldn't find it in her to keep trying, she just decided to give up instead of trying to move forward. (In my way of viewing it.) She was the first thing I've loved more then myself, and I am telling you.
I'm completely broken up because of it. I know already that all of the problems that we had, could've been avoided if I was more open minded, or communicated better. And just wanted to share with the Reddit community of what happened, because quite bluntly. I have few friends in real life, none of which are close to me.
Sorry if this is a pity me story, I just needed to share it.
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I'm an idiot, I didn't communicate. Girlfriend got fed up with it, and ended it.
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t3_3x9zd7
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relationships
|
Update to "I [17 M] am having trouble trying to get to talk to this girl [17 F] that I would like to get to know before H.S graduation"
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[Original post](
Originally replied with this on the original post, but I found out that I should make a new post with the update flair:
So it's been a while since I posted this, and I just want to say that it's probably not going to work out. I've had some pretty small, enjoyable conversations with her, but nothing that really makes us friends. I gave her a bag of her favorite candy because I just so happened to have it in my bag (really though) and she was really excited about that, but before I knew it the bell rang for class to start and I didn't talk to her for the rest of the day.
Now, normally none of this would hold me back, however, I won't see her again until next year after the winter break, and I don't think I've made much progress already. I just don't know where she goes before school, I can't see her after school. The only time possible is during the 3 minutes before class and maybe some time in class if everyone is talking, in which she sits far from me anyways due to assigned seating.
To add on to it, I think I heard her talking about how someone asked her to homecoming (a school dance), I think this is what really shattered my confidence in this situation. The only possible way I feel that I would be able to get into any type of relationship with her is if there is no "competitors", no one else going for her - I don't even hang out with any of her friends, let alone much anyone, there is no chance for me. :(
I realize that posting this isn't really something anyone needed to hear on the progress of this post, but being alone sucks so I might as well share my experience and see what you guys have got to say (if anything).
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My hopes to develop a relationship with the girl I like are dying
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t3_17z8vj
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dating_advice
|
So there's this girl I kind of like in my res at university, but I've never been on a date before and need some helpful tips.
|
Here's a little background information about myself:
* I'm 18 years old (19 in a month)
* First year university student
* I'm shy around girls I like
* I'm an excellent listener (if that has anything to do with it)
* I've started feeling down since most of my friends are in positive relationships (I also really want to meet someone nice)
That's why I told myself it's time to enter the dating world. The one downside? I have no idea what to do or where to start.
I've got a crush on one of my classmates from last semester. We don't share that class anymore, but are friends (to the extent where we acknowledge each other among the thousands of students in our residence) and have very recently started chatting online.
I'd like to ask her out at some point, but I have no idea what to do. I don't think I can really just go up to her now and randomly ask her out; least not now. But then I don't know when I should (I'm a lost cause at the moment).
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Shy guy around crush. Would like to ask her out but don't think it's possible at the moment.*
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t3_1r46yv
|
running
|
Ran a marathon on Sunday. Running another in January. Tips of recovery and training?
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Hi! I am looking for some tips in how long I should recover and when I can start training again. I have an intense fear of injuring myself, so any pointers on avoiding a terrible situation will be greatly appreciated!
The things I've done the past couple days:
- I ran my first ever marathon this past Sunday. I ate well, and slept like a baby. oh my god, the best sleep of my life.
- On Monday, I. was. so. sore. Legs were very wobbly. Stretched, foam rolled, and walked it out for a little bit. Slept like a rock.
- Tuesday, still sore. Legs less wobbly. Did very little moving except walked the dogs for about an hour. Stretched as much as possible.
- Wednesday, Woke up less sore. Walking is still a pain in the ass (especially when crossing the street). Did the elliptical, core work and cycled (indoor spin). Legs are less sore now. About to go foam roll after this.
Am I headed in the right direction? I am planning to do some walk/"runs" tomorrow for a mile or so, and yoga. I would like to do the 10k Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving (I've done one every year for the last 5 years) but I'm not sure if its too soon.
|
Ran a marathon, running another one in January. Pointers on recovery and when to train again.
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t3_iiudm
|
AskReddit
|
College students/grads of Reddit: Do/did you ever feel like you would never find a major or career path that you liked?
|
I spent two years in pre-med, hated every second of the last one and a half, and just switched to physics (starting this fall). Now I'm dreading a similar experience. I am pretty smart, entered college with a 1550 on the old SAT, and have posted high grades (3.5) even though I hated a lot of my classes. I'm not depressed. I'm 20, married, healthy, and I love every other aspect of my life but college and the idea of picking a career fills me with utter dread and stresses the hell out of me. I posted to process my thoughts, to get a wide variety of answers from an equally varied group of people, and because r/AskReddit is so damn good at answering questions. And be nice, I'm new. (Though I've lurked since I was about 14 or 15, eons in internet time)
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I absolutely dread finishing college and getting a job that I (potentially) hate. What was your experience?
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t3_1p83fb
|
offmychest
|
This is getting old to me, but...
|
I'm really sick of being a scary guy on sight alone.
Because then it goes two ways. I open up my mouth, and then people realize that I'm not a roguish brute, and suddenly this look of relief washes over their face. Or I have to get into these stupid pissing contests that I'd really rather not have.
The upside is that select men/women find me doing nothing attractive, but shit man that's actually what pisses me off the most. I'm not your fucking sex symbol.
I used to love people, but because of this I've developed this permanent scowl that serves to make me more frightening. I keep trying to change, but everything that I read keeps telling me "self-acceptance." How? I don't want to be a scary/sexy person. At least not all the time.
|
I'm Wreck-It Ralph.
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t3_n6dty
|
dogs
|
My dog was diagnosed with glaucoma. Has anyone else dealt with this condition with their dogs?
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This is a picture of my dog, Brutus. He is a Boston Terrier, about 8 years old. I recently began to notice eye was starting to have a white, glazy look on it, and it also started to look...bigger. His eye turned red, and it looked extremely uncomfortable and painful, and I had NO clue what had happened. Just overnight his eye went from normal to basically what it looks like in this picture.
I immediately made an appointment with my local vet, who referred me to an animal hospital that had the tools to do a test for glaucoma (the tool reads the pressure within the eye, high pressures= glaucoma). His right eye was positive for glaucoma, while the pressure in his left was not positive for glaucoma, it was on the high side, meaning he could very well develop glaucoma in this eye.
I was told I have 2 options:
- A VERY expensive eye surgery, where the drainage canals in the eye can be fixed, etc.
- Removal of the eye, which is a $500-$700 procedure.
However, the vet did tell me that neither of these things need to be done until the glaucoma really starts to cause him pain. He is prescribed eye drops, which reduce the intraocular pressure in his eye.
Therefore, the only thing he really suffers from is blindness in the affected eye. I notice he runs his head into things quite often now, and sometimes struggles going up stairs. Does anyone else have/had a dog with glaucoma? How did you take care of it?
|
Just wanted to share my little guy's eye problem with everyone and hear of other peoples experiences.
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t3_q9aws
|
relationships
|
I think he likes younger-looking girls?
|
23F he's 23M, dating for a year and a month, currently living together. We have an amazing relationship and sex life, we openly communicate with each other, it is almost perfect. Now, a few months ago, I was picking out movies for us to watch on his external and I accidentally stumbled on his spank bank.. Pictures of girls from a website called jailbait something. Not sure if they're really jailbait, or just look really young. I confronted him and he claimed his former best friend(who was realllly into younger chicks) download them onto his external(3 years ago). I called bull, he deleted them, we never spoke about this again. Last week, I opened his laptop(he knows I use it more than mine cuz it's a Mac and you don't need to close it) and found that he was previously watching porn of a really young looking porn star. It just bothers me cuz he's reassured me over and over again that he doesn't like younger girls and that they make him feel like a dirty old man, etc etc. It just makes me feel weird that he's spanking it to pictures/vids of younger chicks... It doesn't affect our relationship or sex life, but just knowing really bothers me for some reason. Am I unreasonable for feeling like this? I just need some insight..
|
Boyfriend likes to watch porn of younger looking chicks even though he's assured me he doesn't. It makes me feel weird.
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t3_49v580
|
relationship_advice
|
[19/f] I said something I shouldn't have to the guy [23/m] I've been talking to, not sure how to proceed and make it right.
|
I sent a text to the guy I'm interested in, something to the effect of, "I'm sorry I've been bothering you so much, it's fine that you're not interested in me anymore. I just wish you would tell me that you've moved on." He replied back with something like, "Geez, sorry, I'm not by my phone all the time." The greater context is that it's a long-distance relationship, we've been talking regularly since Dec. We're both busy, we have almost completely opposite schedules. We used to talk more often, but the past few weeks or so it seems like it takes a full day or three to get a single reply back about anything, whether over text or FB messenger. I never said anything about it, I know we both have lives, but I was starting to think he'd lost interest in me and was 'ghosting' (slowly fading away when interest wanes instead of being upfront and cutting ties). I admit, I can be insecure, high-maintenence, and the opposite of laid-back, but I do try hard to temper those qualities. I have regret for what I said, and I need help to figure out how to explain myself and make it up to him. I'm not good at relationships and I feel like I don't know what the heck I'm doing.
|
I'm in a long distance relationship and I basically accused my guy of losing interest and leading me on to believe he wasn't when it turns out he was just busy. I need help to figure out how to apologize for my insecurity and high-maintenance antics.
|
t3_21pc6s
|
relationships
|
Me [23F] & BF[23M] 2.5years, Commitment after tumultuous past.
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Me and my bf have been dating for 2.5 years currently, but we dated in HS as well. It didn't end well the first time. I left him for another guy for complicated reasons (young stupidity, emotional needs, whatever you want to call it it was shitty). We broke up for several years and during that time I was in a committed relationship with a unrelated man.
Well I got that man's name tattooed on my chest (dumb I know) and he got mine. Long story short that relationship ended.
Me and current BF got together again and it's been a long road to recover trust between us. Also, I am a recovering alcoholic (3.5years), so a lot of my asshole, terrible behavior is behind me. I take my program seriously and have tremendously changed my ways. I don't flirt, text, or cross any boundaries I shouldn't.
Anyways the problem at hand is that by boyfriend feels that I had some crazy exciting life after I left him. I feel I lived in one gigantic alcohol induced black out, but that's besides the point. He feels that I've shown commitment to everyone but him in crazy ways.
1. Leaving him for first dude shows that dude commitment. (I've told him it only caused trust issues, but how he feels is important).
2. Getting that dumb ass tattoo.
3. Having "firsts" sexually. (I was his first, but he wasn't mine, I tried anal before getting back together, etc.)
It feels to me like I am showing commitment, we have a life together, we're on a lease, have lived in a few places together, make major life and career changes together. All the important things I feel an adult relationship comprises of. All things that didn't happen with anyone before.
I love him and want to show him commitment but am unsure how to give him a grand gesture (apart from getting another tattoo, which I'm not comfortable with given the last one). I plan on marrying this man and I want him to feel like the most special man in the world.
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Want to show permanent commitment to my man, unsure how!
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t3_2vz61s
|
Dogtraining
|
Puppy will only eliminate in the same area outside. How can I make him feel comfortable to do his business elsewhere?
|
My dog is a ~6 mo. old pitbull, lab, terrier mix, that I recently rescued from the shelter. He is very smart and learned quickly not to go inside - he has occasional accidents but it's usually b/c I failed to take him out soon enough. Problem is he will only go in one spot outside, a little grassy area across the street from my condo.
I took him to a doggie park yesterday and spent over 6 hours outdoors (after the park we went to dinner and ran some errands, etc.). He had plenty of opportunities to go, but he held it the entire time. I could tell he was uncomfortable and needed to go, but he waited until we got home to his "elimination spot".
It seems ridiculous to take him to his elimination spot before taking him to the dog park considering he could go anywhere there.
There is a lot of information about how to train your dog to go in the same location online, but I want my dog to feel comfortable going anywhere outside.
Any tips?
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My puppy will only eliminate in one, familiar spot outside. How can I make him go in other outdoor areas?
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t3_1kcx34
|
relationships
|
Me[31M] with my Girlfriend [33/F] of 4 years, horrible issues are just ignored
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My girlfriend and I have been dating and living together for 4 years, we have a 3 year old son. We would get married, but we have several issues that have been there from the beginning. Those issues get ignored and keep getting worse.
First off she has horrible jealousy and trust issues. If I go to the store for 15 mins she will blow up at me. Apparently it only takes 10 mins, so what was I doing for those 5 mins? It gets worse and worse, she blows up at me if I have a meeting at work and am not able to answer her phone call. Pretty much every day she will get upset at a couple things over trust.
Secondly she disappears, she will say something like "Hey I am going to get some beer, I will be right back", then she will be gone till the next morning. When she gets home she starts screaming at me accusing me of cheating while she was gone. She searches around the house and looks for "signs" of cheating.
I have never cheated on her. Not even close.
Thirdly we have bad communication. A typical conversation would start with her asking questions, followed by my answering those questions. She will then repeat the questions or go off on specific tangents. Example:
Her - "Do you know the girl across the street"
Me - "No, I dont know anyone across the street"
Her - "Are you sure"
Me - "Yes"
Her - "Do you know anyone across the street"
Me - "No, I dont know anyone across the street"
Her - "Do you know any girls who live around here"
Me - "No, I dont"
Her - "What about in the apartments behind the house"
ect
This kind of conversation will last several mins to hours. Where she will keep asking questions. I will eventually get frustrated, or she will call me names, accusing me of cheating or accuse me of lying and I will walk away.
Also she will not talk to me if I start a conversation. She will walk away.
Finally our sex life has declined steadily from the beginning of our relationship. Its now at the point of about 1 time per month.
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Me and my girlfriend have issues trust issues, communication, and sex issues.
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t3_372s6x
|
relationships
|
My [23M] friends from college (graduated 2 years ago) and I are drifting apart. Should I remove them from my contacts completely?
|
I no longer enjoy sitting behind my monitor playing league of legends or MMOs, and my friends from college are still spending their whole free time just playing video games. One of them remarked to me that I was becoming a "normie" because over the past two years I have started going out more and enjoy traveling, photography, etc. .more than raiding in a video game.
I really don't want to deal with such people. If I quietly remove them from my contacts, would it make me a dick? Don't get me wrong I still love playing the occasional game of league, but I would rather spend the majority of my time outside enjoying this world than watching anime or playing WoW.
Also, a few of them have become highly arrogant, and I honestly don't think they are capable of making the comments they spew all the time. One of them is making like 40k as an engineer and constantly talks shit about the other engineers or other people in general. No offense but if this guy was as good as he talks himself out to be, he'd be doing something way better where the quality of his colleagues would be higher.
Its super frustrating. I feel like I have two lives. One with new friends and associates who I really agree with on life choices in general and being successful, and one with a bunch of people who didn't grow up. What can I do?
|
college friends acting weird and I want to move on
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t3_9veeg
|
AskReddit
|
Need moving advice... (U-Haul will break my bank!)
|
Hi all! Fishing for some advice here from anyone in the know....
I am a recent fine arts graduate from Wisconsin with a focus on woodworking / furniture making. For the past four months or so, I've had to put off my work due to a lack of a shop. I've managed to get some odd jobs here and there with people who have some tools that have been generous enough to let me use them, but it's generally been pretty sparse and I haven't been able to do a lot of (nay, any) satisfactory work. Also, being a recent graduate who's accumulated tens of thousands of dollars in debt without the slightest promise of a vastly lucrative career awaiting me after graduation, I'm shit out of luck when it comes to being able to start my own shop.
Anywho, last week, out of the blue, I was given a call from my mother's 2nd cousin (whom I've met only once, when I was two) whose husband had recently passed on. She had ran into my mother at a family event, heard about my situation and decided (in the absolute goodness of her heart!) that she would like to donate her husband's wood shop to me, no strings attached. After recovering from inevitable shock-induced coma, I decided to research the available options regarding the transportation of a wood shop's worth of power tools from Arizona to Wisconsin. Much to my dismay, it seems that a truck rental for the 4000 mile trip is about as financially debilitating as purchasing the tools myself (admittedly, this may be an exaggeration, but I''m looking at rates of $0.60-0.70 a mile which comes out to around $2500 for the rental alone!) I don't own a vehicle, and at the moment, I can't conceive of any that I might be able to borrow that wouldn't tip right over backwards at the sight of a trailer hitch. Does anyone have any suggestions / recommendations / funny anecdotes that might be useful for my aforementioned debacle? Clearly, even the U-Haul ass-raping puts me well ahead of where I'm at presently, but I'm the kind of guy who likes to have his cake and eat it too...
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>> Need to move a lot of woodworking equipment 2000 miles across the US, but am discovering that moving truck rental is well out of my price range....advice?
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t3_2ws7m8
|
relationships
|
Second chance with an amazing girl?? [23 M] pursuing [18F]
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So a few months ago I met a girl on a dating site. She was closeby, cute, and brimming with personality. First date landed a kiss and good first impression, she just came over to my place for a few hours. Next evening she comes over for a movie. We discuss briefly about how neither of us are looking for anything too serious, and she tells me she's seeing at least one other guy. We agree to an open deal, we have some great sex after cuddling up to a movie. Next day we have some more sex (lot of consecutive times ;)) and hang out. She's into a lot of the same stuff as me, has a nerdy appeal to her, and she's smoking hot.
I seriously start to develop feelings but cant really tell her... yet. Fast forward a week later, I take her to an outing to meet some of my friends, and we all come back to my place after for some drinks etc. We had sex again, for the last time =/ Over the next week I have her over just to hang out and meet some more of my crew. Things seem to be going great she's clicking well with everyone. The next week or so I try to make plans, some fall through. Finally she tells me she was looking for love, and loves her ex, and they're getting back together. She insists we should still hang out just as friends, because she genuinely enjoys her time with me according to her. I move on, tell her we cant be friends and distance myself. Today I find out shes single again. Whats the move??
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Hook up with a smoking hot and intelligent 18yr old girl couple months ago. She gets back with ex after a few weeks, and is now single again.
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t3_l23al
|
GetMotivated
|
Need some help
|
Hi guys,
I just resigned from my job last week and still need to work there for another 3 months. Can anyone help me get motivated to give my all during these last 3 months? At the moment the stress surrounding the job and my dread of it is so pervasive that I am in no frame of mind to do that. My employer is one of the greatest guys I've ever met - and would like to just give it my all for the next 3 months. But I just can't find the energy in me..
I've already been pushing myself the last couple of months trying to see if I can actually continue working there (somehow magically become remotivated by the career), and my ability to push myself has just become limited. I could have given a month's notice, but we're actually in the midst of a big project and understaffed - so I told my employer I will stick around for another 3 months. Bad for me emotionally; but I want to help my employer out, but I need to be at the top of my game to do that.
Aside -
Leaving high-paying IT job to become an apprentice potter and pursue other things...things which were always important to me (writing, art, being fit, game design, physics, etcetera) but which has just fallen by the wayside the last couple of years. The stress, the long hours, the fact that I haven't learned anything mayorly new for the last couple of months - just isn't worth it more. Its game over.
|
Need motivation to help me survive and give my best for the last three months in a job that I have come to hate
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t3_rsyn1
|
needadvice
|
Should I quit my job, and if so, how?
|
I am a full time student in Law School, just finishing my second year. I got an internship for the summer at a Malpractice Insurance Company, and will be doing that full time.
I have been working 20 hrs/week doing charitable gambling sales for a local nonprofit. It pays minimum wage plus tips (which have dropped in the past 2 years from averaging $80/shift to $20/shift). The nature of the job requires evening and weekend shifts, which has prevented me from socializing with my friends and attending family functions.
Most of my friends in school don't work, and with the internship I will be making nearly double what I am making at my current job. I will be able to save up for the summer, and live off of that money and student loans, allowing me to focus more on my last year of school. I'm also unsure if I will continue the internship in the fall, and if so, can't afford the time commitment of both jobs.
So...I'm wondering, if you were in my position, would you quit your job, or try and work at both, or just ask your boss not to schedule you until future notice?
How would you go about talking to your boss about it?
|
I got an internship during the day, so I don't really need my evening and weekend job. Should I quit, and if so, how should I do it?
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t3_t4sbd
|
AskReddit
|
Men of reddit, what was your biggest overreaction to a girl you were with being "late"?
|
A few years ago I was dating a girl and every once in a while passion would get the better of us and we would have unprotected sex. One night we were chatting online and she mentioned that she was over a week late. This was the first girl I was having sex with consistently so, despite her insistence that it wasn't totally out of the ordinary for her, I flipped out. I googled everything I could about early signs of pregnancy and asked her a million questions. After about an hour of that I went of the deep end and drove the one hour to her school in the middle of the night so we could talk about it. The whole time I was in the car I was re-evaluating my life plan to provide for the baby I convinced myself we were having. Pretty sure by the time I got there I had begun picking preschools. A few days later she sent me a text saying we were good. I've never been more relieved in my life.
What's the worst you've ever freaked out about a girl you with with being "late"?
|
Thought gf was pregnant. Flipped and drove through the night to talk to her about it.
|
t3_3a2z91
|
relationships
|
Do I [17 F] have a responsibility to stay in contact with my Father [58 M], who is being a massive dick to me?
|
I came out to my family three years ago, when I was 14, as transgender. My parents are separated, so I live with my mom and brother, and only visit my dad once in a while. Pretty much, the family that I live has been super okay with it, and I haven't had any problems with them (except for a bit of confusion from my brother, but that's done now). However, my dad has realllly not been nice about it. He has never really acknowledged that I'm female, and only consented to letting me start estrogen after about a year (thanks dad -_-).
Now that it's been three years, I'm starting to get more eager about living full-time as a girl, and it's also getting more complicated to "cover things up" (like body changes, having to constantly take pills). Everyone in my family except for my father is on board with me transitioning, and really just don't care. My dad, on the other hand, has made it pretty clear he will disown me. Now, normally, this wouldn't be a problem. If I could just say, "fuck you" and never see him again, that would be fine. But, that's just not the case.
If I do transition, my entire family will completely fragment, because my brother and mom have said that if he's gonna keep being a prick and disown me, they'll stop seeing him too. I feel like if I do go through with this and finally transition, my brother will be deprived of a relationship with his father, who he is kinda on sorta-good terms with (it's complicated), and will make things weird with him and my mom, who will still have to communicate with him about legal stuff after this. I really have no idea what to do. I don't want to break up my family, but I don't want to have to keep living so uncomfortably.
|
I'm transgender and if I complete my transition I'll break my family apart. If I don't, my life will continue to suck.
|
t3_48k7dm
|
tifu
|
TIFU by making a preist molestation joke
|
This acually happened today and im currently in my parents bathroom while they talk to my grandparents.
A little bit of backstory first. I'm visiting my parents since it's my brother's 12th birthday (8 year difference). Religion became a big part of my grandmother's (dad's side) life after my grandpa died young (she's remarried). Even though my dad went to chirstian school, he is not religious at all, so we joke a lot about religion sometimes.
Fast foward to today where my parents and grandparents (dads side), my younger brother, and me are eating dinner at my parent's house. Mostly small talk with the casual "how's school" and such. When we begin talking about the Oscars from sunday it eventually leads to discussion about Spotlight. My grandparents are fairly silent during this part of the conversation for obvious reasons.
After my brother asks what it's about my mom responds with "a group of priests who molested kids who went to church". My brother asks what the difference between rape and molesting is (awkward conversation already).
Heres the FU. Without thinking I blurt out "ask dad, he went to christian school and should have first hand expirence." After several seconds of silence I realize what I said and am mortified. My grandparents start to tear up a little and talk about how church isnt that bad and we really need to go. My parents are giving me a look of anger and dissapointment all while my brother is rightfully confused.
Dinner silently continues for another half hour and eventually my brother goes upstairs to play his new game he got for his birthday and my parents get out the wine. Now I'm sitting in the bathroom writing this on my phone. My parents are getting suspicious of what Im doing it here now. Fuck my life.
|
Religious grandparents now think Im the antichrist.
|
t3_n9lre
|
dating_advice
|
Friend Zoned? Wrong Timing? What do I do from here on out? I'm a bit lost and confused
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I recently asked out a girl. For the past couple of months we've been in the same class. We are actually in dance together, and we were partners (around the time I started falling for her.) Anyway, time passed and I eventually started writing anonymous compliments to her, and she liked them. I eventually told her I would reveal myself to her, and planned to do so. It took me a couple of weeks, but I finally did reveal myself (although she found out that it was me who had written them beforehand.) The day when I told her she had a knowing smile, and she didn't seem uneasy at all. I asked if she already knew, and she laughed and said yes. I then proceeded to ask her if she wanted to hangout, but was met with a brief pause and then "we can hangout as friends." She then explains to me that she already likes somebody else and that she is sorry. She thanked me for the compliments, and then stated "friends?" and then gave me a hug. I'm not sure how to handle this. Did I get friend zoned because she doesn't like me, or because she has another interest and I was too late? Furthermore, I have to go to dinner with her and a group of other people in a couple days, and I was wondering if it would be all right to ask her to hang out as friends if she's comfortable with that. Is it too soon? Or should I wait? I won't see her for almost a month since break is coming up, and I feel I might lose my only chance to maintain some sort of relationship with her.
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Complimented a girl, she dug it, asked her out. She would rather hang out as friends since she already likes somebody else. Did I get friend zoned or was I just too late? Furthermore, would it be too soon to ask her to hang out as friends in a couple of days?
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t3_1dm600
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AskReddit
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I want revenge on my ex. Suggestions?
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My ex totally fucked me over. Royally, even. I seek revenge. I don't wish to do anything that could get me in legal trouble. I'm not trying to physically hurt this person. That is not my style. I have always been more of a "psychological warfare" type of guy.
My ex psychologically damaged me after I was there for my ex for 5 years, all the while enduring emotional, verbal and mental abuse because of the fact that this person is an alcoholic. A few times at the club, I would leave my ex for 5 minutes and come back to find my ex making out with strangers. This happened three times that I know of. Who knows how frequently it really occurred. My ex also would get so tanked that my ex would be extremely verbally abusive. There were times there near the end when I needed help very badly (going through severe psychological trauma) and my ex was not there for me. Actually, scratch the "towards the end" part. It was sporadic, all throughout the relationship.
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My ex severely psychologically damaged me through actions, and inactions. I still love this person deeply, and don't think that will ever be any different. However, I want revenge.
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t3_38of3i
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relationships
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Me [29 F] and my partner [25 M] of 2 years, I have depression, he doesn't, how can I be a good partner?
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We do pretty well together. He's a gardener and I'm doing a PhD in computer games. We live together, have a dog etc. But I have depression, and some days are worse than others. Some weeks and months are worse than others. Due to illness and stress, this year has been pretty bad.
Symptoms like indecisiveness, lack of motivation, insecurity, lowered creativity and such mean I'm not as fun to be around as I could be. Of course sometimes I feel like I'm a burden on my partner and he could do much better without me. He's supportive, but tends to be a bit of a hippy and is not huge on the medical model of mental illness (I also feel a bit of shame about it).
I'm currently working with a therapist and have been experimenting with antidepressants (which so far, have had horrible side-effects). Not to be, uh, depressing, but it's probably something I'm going to deal with to varying degrees, for the rest of my life.
So, for those of you who have mental illnesses, and those of you with affected spouses, how do you keep going in the hard times? How do you deal with your symptoms so you don't make it hard for your partner or ruin things for everyone forever? Is it possible to have long-term depression and still be an ok partner?
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I have depression and am afraid I'm bringing down my partner. How do he and I deal?
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t3_49g46i
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relationships
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I[24M] tried a LDR with [24F]. It went ballistic.
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Hello, I'll try to keep this as short as possible.
6 years ago I [M24] used to be pretty active in a certain online community and made some great internet friends, few of us still stay in touch. Among us there was a girl[F24] who was absolutely awesome to spend time with, we used to skype for hours at night, eventually we've developed feelings for each other but I tried to be reasonable and I explained how there is no chance we can make this work (we're from different countries). After that she cut ties with all of us and disappeared.
Fast forward to early this year, she contacted me casually and our conversation has quickly gotten out of control. She said she still liked me, I liked her back. She has changed physically and was absolutely alluring to me. We talked again for hours, she invited me over, promised a place to stay. We decided to meet up in a couple of weeks, see if we were compatible IRL aswell. We really discussed our past, our future, family, kids, where we're gonna live... pretty much what happens when people are not thinking clearly. I actually started taking this seriously and wondered about plane ticket prices, vacation plans, employment etc. I really wanted to try to make this work.
There was one problem: her ex who she said she still has some feelings for and she wanted to sleep with him one more time because he's leaving with his work for a couple of months. That was a big red flag which I just walked around smiling. When that day came (and so has her ex) I was really upset and voiced my concern. She turned things around and said that it was all my fault and I was being immature for getting angry about this. This is why she decided that there can be nothing between us other than friendship anymore. I lost my shit at this point and lashed out at her.
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used to be friends online with a girl for years, eventually decided to try LDR, then she slept with her ex and decided that she hates me.
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t3_4e0uwc
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relationships
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I [19/M] with my girlfriend [18/F] of 11 months constantly argue and I'm crushing on a girl [18/F] at work
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I've been in a relationship for 11 months now and we're almost always arguing once a day. It never seems to stop and it's depressing, but I'm steadily getting over it however each time we nearly break up it is resolved and we're back to square one. I feel terrible when i say things like it's over and I guess i succumb to guilt for making her feel bad.
Now, at work, there's this beautiful, funny and intelligent girl who herself has a boyfriend yet, I'm crushing hard on her. Like I said she's beautiful, and she's always making an effort to talk to me so I feel like she must feel something to me, as none of the other girls really go out of their way to turn around and smile and say hi, approach me and compliment the things I'm doing etc (that sounds sad, yet true). But, again, she has a boyfriend.
I'm stuck. I want to get out of my current relationship yet I don't want to be the one to end it nor am I positive about it; we have great times sure but we always fight. I also wanna talk to this girl/approach her about this but I'm not sure that's very wise as she has a girlfriend and i really don't wanna make it awkward. I'm almost always thinking if her too and it gives me a warm feeling inside. help :(
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im in an 11 month relationship, we constantly fight, I'm having a mad crush on this girl at my workplace and i think she likes me; not sure because she has a boyfriend . I dont know what to do
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t3_529fd3
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relationships
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My friend (18F) started college, I (22M) asked her to study together to get to know her better, she said no, when should I ask her to hang out again?
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So I know this girl from work, she just started college where I graduated from. I'm still in school just not full time right now. I wanted to get to know her better outside of work so I asked her to study together in the college library this weekend. She said she's studying with her friends and the library is too far from her home so she doesn't wanna go to the library.
I do like her but I don't want to make advances so early on since we are working at the same place. Right now I just want to get to know her better first during a normal hangout.
My question is, is she giving me excuses or is she really busy? She has school Mon-Fri and work at nights on some days, My work is on the weekdays so I can't go to school at least for this week. I know it's probably easier to hang out with her in the library during the weekdays
Since she said no this time, when should I ask her to hang out again? either she's giving me an excuse, or she doesn't want to go to the school library on the weekend since its far for her. Any idea what I should do next time?
FYI when she said no this time, I told her to let me know know when she wants to study together next time, she did ask me when I'm normally free, so It's not like she didn't try to propose another time. I just don't know how to ask her to hang out again without getting rejected again.
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girl said no when I proposed for a hangout/ study session at the school library, our time schedule seem to not match, should I try again? and when should I propose for another hangout?
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t3_34hte2
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relationships
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Me [23 M] with my girlfriend [20 F] 15 months. I fucked up, guys. I don't know what to do.
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I've been with my girlfriend since January 2014. It's been great. We get along amazingly well. We just click. It's pretty smooth sailing since then. Maybe 1 or 2 little arguments, but nothing major. Until now.
We have mutual friend, we both follow on instagram. This friend posted a pretty revealing photo of herself, and I can't tell you what possessed me to like it. It may not seem like a big deal, but my girlfriend has body issues. I think she's beautiful, and sexy, and incredible, but when she saw that I had "liked" that picture, it destroyed her.
She isn't speaking to me. We don't live together, but we usually i.m. until one of us falls asleep. It's not that she's mad, she's sad. She's heartbroken. This is a big deal to her. I feel like the biggest piece of shit in the world. I'm going to catch her before she leaves for work, tomorrow, but I don't know what to say. I seriously think she may break up with me for this. Any advice helps.
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Girlfriend saw that I "liked" a friend's revealing picture on instagram. Might break up with me.
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t3_4csy6l
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relationships
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Me [26 F] with my crush [26 M] need help on what to do next.
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So normally I like to think I'm very intuitive - but when it comes to my own love life I have no idea. I'd really appreciate some advice on what you think is going on / what to do next.
So there's a guy at my gym, he is so cute. I trained with him in class once, added him on Facebook and he ended up asking me out to watch a sports game for a team we both follow at a bar on Sunday morning (2 sunday's ago). He's not a big texter, and I normally am so I think this is what's confusing me. We talk on and off during the week (sometimes a day or two without talking), then on Thursday he asks if I want to play frisbee golf with him on that Friday. Have fun. Then I ask him if he wants to do dinner and we meet up on Monday (last Monday) for a picnic - unplanned to be this way, but super romantic, on the grass watching the sunset, seeing the stars. He kisses me when we are lying there and we make out a little bit. He texts me when he gets home for a brief chat til I fall asleep. Next day I text him, we chat, then he needs to sleep. Last time we talked, was on Tuesday. Now it's Friday.
I genuinely get the vibe he's interested, but just really really busy, and not really the type to chase after a girl or put her first over other things in his life (which suits me really well). I know he's also only ever had one GF before. But then my insecurities kick in and it's like, well he hasn't contacted me and he hasn't asked me on another date.. so it this dead in the water?
Should I text him today and ask him on another date or should I text him and just try chat with him? I do want to go on a date this weekend, but I'm worried that since he's not contacted me he's simply just not interested..
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Cute guy, three dates, last date had kissing. Haven't heard from him in a couple of days, want to initiate a date.
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t3_hzmuf
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AskReddit
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Is it okay to sit in a seat that someone is "saving" for someone not there yet?
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Last week I went to the movies to see the new X men with 5 of my friends. We got there a little late but we saw six open seats next to a couple in their early 20s. When we tried to sit in those seats we were told that 2 of them were "saved" for their friends who haven't gotten to the theater yet. The movie was about to start and we didn't want to cause a stir so we ended up splitting up for the movie. Most of us were still fairly ticked about it, because it's nicer to sit next to your friends in a movie.
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Can I sit in a spot that someone has saved for a person who isn't there yet? Have you ever done that?
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t3_3603ys
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pettyrevenge
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Some truly purposeless pettiness that proved no point whatsoever.
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I'm currently in an intensive cellular biology lab. This stage of the process requires three consecutive days of lab work, which is mildly inconvenient for my schedule but oh well. I'll make it work. Unfortunately, my lab partner does not feel the same way.
On Tuesday, we began the protocol (I say *we* loosely, because he wasn't much of a help). After the appropriate host was transformed with expression plasmid, it was plated and left to incubate overnight in the body room. My lab partner's one responsibility was to pull the plates in the morning so we wouldn't end up with a lawn (distinct colonies are necessary for this process). SURPRISE – he forgot. I was vexed. But whatever. Let's just make the liquid cultures anyway and see what happens.
This is Wednesday night. I spoke to him at 11 am and texted him at 5 pm verifying that he had to be in the lab at 7 pm. He confirmed. All was well. At 7:30, just as I was getting out of yoga, I received a long string of snaps detailing how he was high and wouldn't be able to go into lab.
...
Really?
Fine. He's stressed. I get it. I go in and assemble the vials of liquid media and place them in the incubator. BUT, instead of alphabetizing our initials like I normally do, I placed mine first. Ha.
Now he'll have to see it in the morning and subliminally feel some guilt about being the worst.
**BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE**
Thursday morning. The day of the five hour procedure. I had to take time off work to make this fit into my schedule. My boss was unpleased. What's my point? I still made it into lab, despite having other obligations.
My lovely partner, however, went camping for a different class. So I spitefully labelled our flasks as "THE_72ND_PERCENTILE'S".
Take that. You don't even get an initial anymore.
_________________
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Don't fuck with me and science or I'll put my name all over goddamn everything and you'll get nothing fuck you Dave.
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t3_jfxs4
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AskReddit
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I'm from the US and just won a literary contest from the UK, but I am being shafted on the prize. Can any legal experts help me out here?
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"Hi [Bouda],
Congratulations! You have been selected as the winner of the 'Transform Yourself Into A Werecreature' competition run on Spinebreakers.co.uk. ( )
Your prize is a a copy of Curtis Jobling's newest book Wereworld: Rage of Lions.
To claim your prize, please reply to this email confirming your name, date of birth and postal address so that we can send you the prize.
Best wishes,
The Spinebreakers Team"
But...
From what I understood, "winner" means as per our contract:
"8. The prize for the winner is a signed copy of Wereworld: Rise of the Wolf, Wereworld: Rage of Lions, as well as a signed image of their werecreature drawn by Curtis Jobling. Five runners up will win a copy of Wereworld: Rage of Lions. There is no cash alternative available."
That is what I agreed to in "The Terms and Conditions" ( ) contract when I submitted my piece. I expect those prizes. Also, my werecreature is a were-hyena.
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I agreed to "terms and conditions" that says "the winner will receive 2 books and a commission"
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t3_2o0mz4
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relationships
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Me (22M) with ex (22F) need some advice on if I should break no contact and when?
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Hey guys, I've been lurking on here and have given some advice but, figured I could use some myself this time around. Here's the back story. Happy to elaborate if needed:
The ex and I had been together for 3 years and some change and broke it off just this past August. It happened for a variety of reasons but, the catalyst was us graduating and moving on to graduate school in different areas of the country. Neither of us wanted a long distance relationship and we could tell that we were fairly compatible but there were a few glaring issues which would make for a tough marriage. So we called it quits amicably and agreed to go no contact and left it open-ended as to whether we would contact each other again.
The first few weeks were pretty difficult but, I believe I've moved on. I'm not really lacking for friends or anything at this stage as I've managed to find a few great groups of people but... I really do miss the conversations we had and her just being my best friend. I don't want to talk to her every day or anything like that. I'd just like to have her in my life as a friend and know I can send that occasional funny article or interesting post I read on reddit like we used to. It's just hard to go from talking to, confiding in, and getting advice from someone every day for 3 years and then just cutting all ties. I'm prepared to completely stop talking to her if that's what she wants but, I think I at least should try to save the friendship.
So, reddit. Should I break no contact? If I do, how should I go about it so as not to be insensitive? When do I know it's the right time to do so? (I realize this last question is hard to make an objective call on but, while I have y'alls attention I might as well ask!)
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With ex for 3 years, been 'no contact' for ~ 4 months. Should I break 'no contact'? Why/why not?
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t3_17ymnz
|
AskReddit
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What is the best way to get back at my roommate?
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I have roommate, that is also a redditor, who read a post about ways to mess with people a couple weeks ago. He is one of those arrogant smart people who likes to argue everything and tries to embarrass me, especially in front of my girlfriend, and now I am tired of it. So now every time I leave my room unattended he turns one picture frame on my desk. Now the point of this is to do it until I freak out and make a scene. I don't want to give him the satisfaction, so I need a way to get back at him. What is the best way I can subtly get back at him?
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Smart ass roommate is trying to subtly trick me, I need a good way to embarrass him.
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t3_2o6n5m
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relationship_advice
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I'm sober, and I love someone who does a lot of recreational drugs. If we move in together, how do we make it work?
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My boyfriend & I are nearing the end of college (undergrads), and so, in a year's time, we might face the question of living together. He is everything I ever wanted in a person, and I am as sure as I can be that he feels the same for me. I get nervous when I think about living with him, though. Of course we're close, but living together would be a whole new level of closeness.
He drinks fairly often. He smokes a lot of weed. Once in a while he'll do shrooms or LSD. He doesn't get into trouble, and he doesn't act like an ass or freak out or get lazy.
///
Why I don't do drugs:
Alcoholism destroyed my family, I don't touch the stuff.
I don't want to smoke weed badly enough to risk getting in any trouble.
I'm afraid hallucinogens will trigger some kind of mental illness in me, as I've heard they sometimes do... I think some kind of personality disorder runs in one side of my family (BPD?) and anyway I struggle off and on with some depression and anxiety. ^Nothing ^too ^serious.. ^:)
///
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What's it like, as a sober person, being in a committed, domestic relationship with a frequent drug user?
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t3_11c0yw
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AskReddit
|
can anyone not visualize something in their head no matter how hard they try?
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not sure if i made perfect sense, but heres mine. i used to skateboard a lot when i was younger and started going to parks with quarter pipes and half pipes, to keep it simple they are literally the shape of a half a pipe or 1/4 a pipe. theres a technique called "dropping in" which is when you push your tail against the end of the pipe and slam the front of the board down and lean forward, to get you going down the ramp.
theres a video. its a very basic technique.
i can do it very well
here's the catch. whenever i imagine it being done in my head, it doesnt happen. the image makes the person slide to the right.
so if its a side view i would see the nose of the board go down then pull to the right.
if its a front view same thing
i just can not visualize this maneuver in my head
what is wrong with my brain
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common skateboard maneuver, i can even do it in real life. can not imagine it being pulled off successfully in my mind.
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t3_2um9yl
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relationships
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Me [25 M] with my girlfriend [20 F] 9 months, I have an office crush, how do I eliminate it/deal with it?
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So I posted about this on AskReddit and my GF found it. I told her I wanted to talk to her about it later, but that was a lie. I don't know how to talk to her about this stuff. She only thinks about me, and I'm not a good enough person to handle it. Yesterday, we just talked on Messenger about our marriage procedures and how we'll both live in the US. And after work I had a beer or two with my coworkers and talked to one girl about music. She's funny and different from my partner, I'm a bit interested in her but obviously I'm not going to do anything. But I flirt with her without even thinking about it! It's nearly impossible not to flirt with her. And she knows I'm taken. I sometimes think about what could happen with her if I weren't taken, but try to quash those thoughts, and toss them from my mind.
My questions: how can I address the idea of having a crush with my partner? Or is it just not worth it if it'll upset her 100% of the time, like it currently is?
How can I "crush" the idea of a "crush"? I don't want this. It makes everything more complicated.
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gonna marry and start a life with this girl in my home country, I have a crush on a coworker and don't know what to do and don't know how to talk to my GF about it.
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t3_2i5pfq
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relationships
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Me [20 M] with my Friend [19F], she has a boyfriend, has feelings for me
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I work with her, and just over a month back she started talking to me over Facebook. We would talk and flirt back and forth. Eventually I asked her for her number because fb messenger is a pain to use.
This is where it starts to get weird. She tells me that ever since I started tlaking to her on fb she can't get me out of here head. Asks me if I have feelings for her and what they might be. (Physical, If I would date her, or if I wanted to be friends) Told her given the opportunity I'd date her.
A day passes. She starts telling me that she wishes she was in a relationship with me and not her current bf. I tell her that I can't be the guy that ruins the relationship they have (he's a nice guy) so I slow conversation for a bit, changing the subject whenever anything comes up about it.
I hang out with her a few times. Go to dinner, hang out at her place watching netflix. End up staying over a couple times (nothing happens besides a bit of cuddling at first) Stayed over again last night because she watched my puppy and lost track of time. Wasn't expecting it but she kissed me and because I have feelings for her, I kiss her back.
All while this is going on she has been sending me risqué texts behind her boyfriends back. I feel really uneasy about the whole thing. I would like to date her but I don't want her to break up with the guy for me. (they have been dating for 5 months) I'm not sure what I should do. Tell her she needs to make a decision and leave her to do so? Or just move on and forget about this girl.
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I have feelings for this girl. She has the same feelings but has a boyfriend. Not sure how to handle it.
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t3_1aviu3
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relationships
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My (26m) fiance (23f) wants to stop having sex and wait until we're married (3 months) to have sex again. Am I wrong?
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I (26m) have been with my fiance (23f) for 3 years and engaged for just under a year. We have always had a healthy sex life, a couple times a week usually. We are getting married this summer (in 3 months) and recently she told me that she wants to wait until we're married to have sex again. She has been on the pill and sometimes we use condoms as well, but she is still very nervous about getting pregnant (especially this close to the wedding). We aren't planning on having kids for a few years, and she wants to make sure that there wont be any consummated before the wedding. This I can understand, but the pill has always worked well for us, so I don't see why we need to be cautious now when it hasn't been an issue for the 3 years we have been together. She also thinks its romantic to wait until our honeymoon to reenact an "idealistic wedding night consummation".
I can understand this also, but I feel like its a lot easier for her to wait than for me. In a sense I feel as if I'm getting the short end of the stick, where at a time when its very stressful to plan all the wedding things (I have done ~70% of the wedding preparations), I look for a reward which has always been sex, and can't get any. I try to continue to do all the good fiance things like making dinners, doing dishes, weekend breakfast together, taking her shoe shopping etc. and it just feels empty compared to what I'm used to. She tells me that I deserve a good blowjob, but that day never comes because apparently asking for one is rude. Her tactic is working in the sense that I just want the wedding to get here so we can enjoy each other again, but it is torture in the mean time! Has anyone else been in this sort of scenario or am I the only one?
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fiance wants to stop having sex until after the wedding so that we don't make babies before hand and because it will be romantic and extremely satisfying on the honeymoon, but I'm stressed and need sex! Has anyone been in this scenario?
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t3_3ff56y
|
relationships
|
I [19 M] was cheated on by my SO [20 F] of 8 months
|
Hey reddit,
My SO has basically, through texts, me she cheated on me last night, I don't know to what extent whether it was sex or making out with him. She's busy until sometime this afternoon when we're gonna get on the phone and talk about it. She lives in our college town this summer and I'm hours away back home for less than 2 more weeks. I guess I want advice on how to handle this because I really don't want to leave her but I understand I might have to in order to do what's best for me. I really do love this girl and she's been nothing but wonderful this entire time, including the summer when we've only been able to see each other every now and then.
Some background: her and her roommate were hanging out with some good guy friends of theirs which is fine, but she has a past with one of them. I haven't confirmed that it's him but that'd be my guess. So it wasn't random. They were hanging out at their apartment and they were drunk and high, and she never has any issues when she drinks, but the few times she's smoked, I've noticed she doesn't act like herself. When she told me they smoked I was a little worried because she gets a little too out of it.
I was trying to come up with questions to ask her to decide if I should stay and try and make it work or end it right away.
1. Why did she do it. Did she want to break up with me and couldn't so she did this? Does she want me to end it?
2. Does she regret it?
3. Is she willing to sacrifice smoking ever and drinking to an extant for a while to earn some trust back?
If anyone else knows some questions I should ask for insight it'd be appreciated. She's never cheated on a past partner, I already know this. I don't want to dump her on the spot but I'm just so confused. Thanks for reading and any help
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how to handle conversation after being cheated on for the first time?
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t3_1vqnc6
|
AskReddit
|
Tattoo Artists of Reddit, how likely would it be for a person without tattoos to become a tattoo artist?
|
Recently I've been considering seeking out a tattoo apprenticeship.
The problem is that I don't have or want any tattoos. If I did ever get any, it probably wouldn't be for a long time. I love tattoos, but at this point in my life, there's nothing I can think of that I would want to have on my body for the rest of my life (and I'm 21 and female). I think it'd be really awesome to start getting tattooed as a middle aged or older woman, as at that point I may have a better perspective on what I want on my body.
I'm interested in tattooing because I am passionate about art and design. To someday have the chance to make a living through art would be an incredible dream. I am also currently going to college in a fine arts program. I am a very good illustrator and artist and am continuing to learn and develop my skills.
I'm and am willing to pay my dues through an apprenticeship. I do not have an inflated ego.
I also completely understand how competitive and trendy this type of job has become. One does not simply walk into the tattooing industry, it requires years of hard work and not everyone reaches success.
I also get that being tattooed is a unique experience that someone without tattoos probably can't understand. There are many people who would probably be distrustful of a non-tattooed artist. Some might see me as phony or as an intruder.
I don't have art to show on this post, but hypothetically, if someone had a fantastic portfolio (and overall seemed to be a good fit for the shop and the mentor) but had no tattoos, would you ever consider them for an apprenticeship?
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I dont have or want tattoos, but am considering seeking a tattoo apprenticeship. Would any mentor consider taking in an apprentice with no tattoos?
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t3_4b8787
|
relationships
|
Me [25 F] with my bf [26 M] of 1.5 years, wondering why he is bipolar in terms of how he treats me
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UPDATE: We broke up yesterday. He told me he didn't know if I was a priority. I think someone asking if they could take a nap at your birthday party should give you the hint.
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Bf is acting "hot and cold" towards me in terms of being kind and then really mean. Has anybody else felt like this? What did you do?
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t3_cp8wd
|
self
|
After an accident, medical bills are piling up, but I'm still in school. Who's responsible?
|
Over two years ago now, I was volunteering at my college and a large piece of scenery (6'x25' piece of plywood framed with steel) fell on my head. I went to the hospital immediately following this accident, and they said nothing was wrong that wouldn't get better in, at most, a few months. 2 years, 5 x-rays, 2 MRIs and countless hours of physical therapy later, I'm still not better.
I've had a couple of hospital visits (ER) since then, any my insurance is kind of terrible. I'm now being pursued by bill collectors for over $1000 of medical bills. Normally, my mom pays these bills. However, since it was my dad who took me to the hospital, she says that he's responsible for them and insists that he pays them. (They're divorced.) He can't, and doesn't, so I end up getting the calls because the insurance is under my name, though it's being paid by my mother. She still claims me as a dependent on her taxes, so I'm wondering if she's still responsible for paying these bills.
I've tried talking to her about it, but she adamantly refuses to discuss the issue beyond saying that my dad needs to pay them. But what if one of my friends were to take me to the hospital? Would she insist they pay the bill?
(The college's insurance did an inquiry and they denied liability, so that's why this is even an issue.)
|
I have lots of unpaid medical bills, and my mother still lists me as a dependent. Is she responsible for paying them, or am I?
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t3_3px06t
|
relationships
|
Me [30 M] with my wife [34 F] 2.5 years, she cries at every minor disagreement.
|
I have been with my wife for 5 years married for 2.5. Over the last year or so anytime I even slightly disagree with her or we get in the smallest of arguments she breaks down and starts crying stopping all communication.
For example this morning while we were trying to get ready for work, and while she was changing the baby he spit up on her. I ran and grabbed her a wet paper towel so she could wipe it off. Well I guess I should have grabbed a dish towel because the wet paper towel left some bits behind on her clothes. At that point I felt she started talking to me like I was some kind of moron who didn't have enough common sense to offer her a regular towel.
I was admittedly annoyed and let her know she didn't have to treat me like I'm asshole when all I was trying to do was help. There was no yelling or screaming from me or anything of that sort, but she just started crying hysterically after I said that.
This is just one example but it is the same thing anytime we argue or even disagree. I honestly don't know how to handle it right now. Is there anything I can do to help her stop crying at everything? My compassion tank for dealing with the crying is basically at 0.
|
My wife cries during every argument no matter how minor or mundane the argument is. How do I help her stop crying at everything?
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t3_31pr21
|
relationships
|
Me [22/F] with my new boyfriend [24/M], but often times think and miss my ex [25/M]
|
During the summer I got in my first relationship, and even though we were only together for 2 months I really fell hard for him. He was my first kiss and even though I did not lose my virginity to him (I did want to...) I shared a lot of my firsts with him. To say the least I was very innocent before him (never even held hands with a guy), so every moment we shared together I valued so much.
Anyways...he broke up with me in August, so clearly it's been a long time and since then I never seen him. But the problem is I can't forget him. Even now that I have a new boyfriend (since February 8th) I still frequently think of my ex. I am very attracted to my current boyfriend and care and love him very much, but I do get moments where I miss my ex.
I also think that no guy has ever made me feel the way my ex did. With my ex I used to get light headed whenever we made out, but with my current boyfriend I never feel that way.
I was just wondering...is this normal? I mean, over time will I eventually completely forget my ex and not miss him anymore? I guess I also want to vent too. It just feels fustrating for me sometimes when I still miss and think of my ex, and I know he doesn't ever think of me.
|
I still miss my first boyfriend who broke up with me months ago, even though I am in a relationship now with someone I am happy with. Do people ever really forget and stop missing their first love?
|
t3_3g41er
|
Advice
|
First night as manager goes to shit. Not sure what to do. (Long post, sorry)
|
This Monday was my first night managing a fast food place by myself (had 4 whole days of training the week before). The General Manager left to another state for a training seminar or something earlier that Monday. At 11:30pm the operating system on the computer registers went down and we had to start using cash only and hand writing orders on paper. I wrote down everything that was ordered and how much it was so we would have a sales record of sorts. I called the GM as soon as possible and tried to tell him what was going on. He told me to call the Tech Support line for the registers OS. Luckily one of the guys working that night was an ex computer tech worker, so after a while on the phone they figured out what was wrong. Unfortunately I was trying to count cash from the registers at the same time that he was in the office (where all the money is) looking at the computers.
After the next two days off, one of which the registers went down again, I show up and the GM starts saying that money was short from that night, basically accusing my coworker of stealing it, and that it was my fault the registers OS went down in the first place. He said a bunch of crap about how someone was trying to 'sabatoge' the store and that an angry coworker must have turned off this special computer in the office that connects the registers to the tech company. The worst part is that the registers went offline WHILE HE WAS THERE and he had to call the support line to get everything back up, but he still thinks it's me or a coworker fucking with stuff in the office. I had to call tech support again tonight for another problem and got into a conversation with the guy about how fucked up our systems are. I'm pretty sure the cash will be super fucked up again because of all these computer problems but I can't do anything about it.
|
Computer problems are being blamed on me and my coworker and I can't afford to lose my shitty job. I don't know what to do.
|
t3_2opsrf
|
relationships
|
My girlfriend [18F] and I [18M] are in our senior year of high school, and I have concerns about the future of our relationship.
|
We've been dating for 5 months so far, and I'm definitely serious about her and I. Right now, we're extremely happy with each other and I told her that I loved her last week. Everything is great right now. Unfortunately, we won't be together for Christmas break, but we'll FaceTime each other and call regularly.
I've read posts about high school sweet hearts trying to take a relationship into college before, almost everything that I've read has resulted in a break up. I know if her and I go down this road, I'll be devastated in the end. Second semester is going to fly by, and before we know it, we'll be going to prom. I know I should live in the moment here, and I've been trying to go along the lines of that, but I do want to start forming some kind of plan.
I should also mention that we're not going to the same college. She might go out of state, I'm going to community college for financial reasons, and she's getting accepted into four year universities. It would be a LDR. I love this girl, and I'm willing to compromise to stay with her.
Anyway, my question is: What should we do? Should I try to maintain a LDR with her? I'm hoping for suggestions or stories of your own I guess. I know I'm jumping way ahead of myself with thoughts like this but I just want an opinion different than my own.
|
My girlfriend and I are going to different colleges, second semester of this senior year is going to fly by, and I want to start forming a plan. Should we go into college trying to maintain a LDR?
|
t3_c7vyt
|
AskReddit
|
Reddit, Man that want to cheat the Phone Companies!
|
Hi Reddit quick questions!
1: Is there any other Devices like the Ipod Touch (Largish screen that is fully touch screen with a smooth OS and touch screen? The Device must have wi-fi compatibilities.)
2: For those of you that Jailbroken your Ipod Touches is there a way to get Skype Mobile and Google Voice as Apps?
Those are my two questions but for a small overview I almost always in wifi and I don't want to spend $70 a month for a 3g phone. Please don't post about how I can get $10 cheap phones with pay as I go but if I was going to get a phone it would be 3g.
Anyways I want to see if I can get a Ipod Touch 2g (Preferably maybe 3g or later if I must) and use Skype Mobile for Talking (Everyone I know has Skype) and Use google voice for Sms. So It would cost me $0 a month but I don't know if it will work. Please help a fellow redditor out!
|
I want to use a Ipod Touch as a phone using Skype and Google Voice. And I need the two questions on top answered.
|
t3_4hvegp
|
relationships
|
My [29/M] sister [32/F] is marrying her partner and I'm not sure what is expected of me
|
Kind of awkward wording so I will elaborate. My sister [32/F] is marrying her partner [DontKnowAge/F]. They got together shortly before moving to the other side of the country so I have only met her partner once but they will be moving back here in the future. Honestly I'm not even sure how long they've been together.
I'm not incredibly socially competent so usually when there is a major change in my life I turn to google for answers but I'm coming up dry here. I want my FSiL to feel welcome in the family but I am, by nature, fairly distant socially and generally only speak to my family once per month or longer. Not out of bad blood but just because I don't have anything to say.
My current strategy has been to do what my sister asks of me but I don't take initiative to do things on my own (as pertaining to their relationship).
|
Is there something I should be aware of that a BiL is expected to do without prompting or should I exclusively remain in the wings until approached by either my sister or FSiL for contribution?
|
t3_1jcme6
|
relationships
|
Feel like me [M-18] and her [F-18] are growing apart, I don't know if I need to end it or if it's just a phase that should be talked out.
|
Over the past month or so she's grown increasingly attached and paranoid about our relationship.
---
Every-time I say I'll call in a few hours she'll call me back ~an hour later and ask when am I gonna call. She's uber "protective" as she calls it and gets jealous when I hangout or even talk to my female friends, especially one specific friend, she's emotionally unstable, likes to use ultimatums when she really wants something. Even though it's been a year she's still trying to hide our relationship from her family. People are telling me these are red flags. Plus I don't know if the emotions are there anymore, somedays it feels like apathy, like it's not really a relationship anymore.
|
there are some supposed red flags and somedays it feels like apathy
|
t3_2sew7w
|
legaladvice
|
Condo access being sealed during construction by order of the board
|
I live in a ground floor condo in Illinois. The lobby is scheduled for renovation starting tomorrow. I just got an email now that they will 'have to' seal my front door for the duration of the construction blocking access in and out through the front door. There is a patio door that can be used, but it does not lock. I work a regular day job that I have to show up for, so this doesn't work for me. Obviously I won't leave my patio door unlocked while I'm off to work. They did this without consulting me at any point or securing my agreement. On the other hand, I didn't attend any condo board meetings where this may have been discussed.
|
Does the condo board have the right to seal my front door?
|
t3_x3g20
|
AskReddit
|
Anyone else have a really disappointing engagement/proposal? Is it unrealistic to hope for something nice?
|
First of all, I want to own up to the fact that I created some of this mess myself. S.O. and I had been together for many years. He was separated, then later divorced. As a result, there was NO money. (His ex went to work for her own divorce atty, then started having an affair with him, and now they're engaged. Whole other story.)
We'd talked about marriage and knew it was a foregone conclusion at some point. Knowing the $$$ situation, I took a diamond I had to a jeweler to be reset and gave it to him so he could ask me sometime. I specifically told him that I wasn't expecting anything crazy, but I'd appreciate a nice dinner that I didn't need to cook or pay for myself.
A few months later, he says he's found some hotel deal and wants to go stay overnight somewhere. Me being female and thus knowing what was up, I asked: "Should I bring something to wear to dinner?" He said no, that we'd just get whatever. So, I figured maybe there was still something nice... but casual, in the works. That's fine.
Anyway, we go to the hotel, we hang out an an Indian casino, we unsuccessfully find fast food on the way back and end up splitting a sandwich in the hotel bar.
Next morning, while I'm watching a documentary on the MANSON FAMILY... he stumbles through something about sharing life's adventures together and gives me the ring I bought myself w/o ever even actually asking me "Will you marry me?"
Was it too much to want to have something be at least a little nice? After being together for over a decade, helping him financially through the divorce, etc. Was a dinner too much to ask for? I guess I just wanted to have a nice experience to remember and feel like I had something that most people have.
|
Shitty proposal. Still makes me feel bad. Anyone else have a similar experience?
|
t3_1txmyz
|
relationships
|
How do I [21F] give my "hot" but abrasive best friend [21F] a huge reality check?
|
How do you give your best friend a huge reality check about her personality?
I'm in my last year of college and have up until now been very close with my best friend Sarah.
Sarah is what plenty of guys call "hot", but things never quite work out for her. She doesn't get the jobs she thinks she is qualified for (in terms of skills) or snag the cute boys she thinks she is *well* overqualified for (in terms of looks).
I used to believe and sympathize with what she thought was just particularly bad luck, but after realizing how she was describing some of her co-workers I realized that her personality is the thing that is driving people away.
She never has a nice thing to say about her co-workers or friends, so it's no surprise that she has been passed up time after time for other people. She is always very judgmental and thinks everybody else is incompetent at their job. The thing that really confuses her is she thinks she is too hot and smart to be missing these opportunities, and does not know what else she can improve.
Sarah's behavior has already created negative consequences, but she keeps on viewing these as "bad luck". **I don't know how to tell her that it is likely her negative attitude that is turning people and opportunities away.**
I am not sure if it is as simple as just sitting her down and telling her, because she is a very angry person and likely to turn the conversation around on me. I anticipate a confrontational conversation leading to her saying something like "well you're not as hot as me, so how would you know?" which would be completely unproductive.
I really do care about her, but supporting her has been a total drain as of late. Am I even the right person to help her make this realization, or is there somebody else who would be better? Or is it just her own to make with the passing of time?
|
Best friend is abrasive and doesn't know it. Thinks being hot and smart is enough.
|
t3_3b4w90
|
jobs
|
Choosing between job offers
|
Hey there! I recently received two job offers but they both sound great and I dunno where else to turn to.
Job A: call center tech support
$12/hr
90 minute break
Professional environment
Big name company
6 months possible advancement
Bright and laid back atmosphere
Discounted cable & internet
Jumped through hoops to get into
Couple weeks training
Job B: data entry, the person behind those automated phone systems
$15/hr
No interaction with customer at all
Super casual environment
I've seen more professionalism working at KFC than this place
Job offer after two easy assessments
Possibility of falling asleep during job because of how easy it is
4 days training
Both places are relatively close to home
Both start training next week and are during the same hours
Both have great benefits
Job A sounds decent because I like the company culture and it would look pretty good on my resume in case I don't advance within the company and decide to leave.
Job B sounds good because it is ultra casual, is extremely easy work, pays a little higher, but I might fall asleep during my shift.
|
job A pays less but is more impressive, job B pays more but seems underwhelming
|
t3_cx58p
|
AskReddit
|
I have found around 5 of these in my apartment in the past few months. What are they? [pictures inside]
|
I have found around 5 of these in my apartment in the past few months. Finally decided to ask since one just crawled on my arm in my bed. How would I go about getting rid of them/trapping them?
My apartment isn't dirty to the point where I would be infested with bugs. I live by myself and spend most of my time in my room. I vacuum every week or 2, and I clean my dishes once I make them dirty. I always take out my trash when it's full and I wash my sheets regularly. Not sure what would cause them to want to come into my apartment.
I took the pictures with my cell phone as I do not have a digital camera.
|
WTF are they?
|
t3_14dxtv
|
relationships
|
How do I (m20) get on with her (f20) abusive dad?
|
Been with this girl for two years, everythings great, communications easy, sex keeps getting better and everything is peachy. I come from a very loving family with very very few rows or confrontations, whereas hers is the opposite. Her dad has anger issues and is abusive and her mum is an alcoholic, though she's lovely when she's sober.
I've never really clicked with her dad and he's been a real prick to everyone in the family. Blowing up for no reason, pouring water over the mums head in the middle ofthe night. While i didnt like what he was doing in the slightest i tried to keep an open mind because he's my SO's dad and our families are just polar opposites.
This weekend however my SO told me that when she was 15 her dad went berserk and I assume beat everyone but he definitely hit my girlfriend. Now obviously this makes me beyond angry, but I still have to see him over Christmas. Everytime I think about going over to the parents house I just get this image of my SO being punched and flying across the room defenseless and it makes my blood boil. He's apparently swung for her again, most recently about 6 months ago but she just stayed at mine.
Can any one give me any insight in to how I can deal with this? I'm just so unused to any confrontation, physical or verbal in families. Also how do I support my SO whenthis could easily happen again?
|
so's father is physically abusive, known for a while he has anger problems but only just found out he's hit my SO. How do I deal with being in the same room as him and how do I support my SO?
|
t3_1mcgzp
|
relationships
|
I [24/M] just broke up with my girlfriend [23/F]
|
I just did it 4 days ago and I still feel horrible. Dating this wonderful, sweet girl for about 10 months. First relationship, always avoided them as I've always seen myself as too selfish to indulge in a relationship. Really like her, really like her friends, really like her family. Drop dead gorgeous. She is head over heels in love with me. I get this overwhelming feeling of guilt because I feel like my affection for her has plateau'd and given that this is my first relationship I determine it's probably because I have no base to which to compare my affection. I'm incredibly calculating with regards to my emotions, as much as I hate it, and I realized that in the long run, I would always be wondering what if I had dated other people, what would I have found... and it would have developed into resentment, and just been a gnawing misgiving for there for the rest of our relationship. Instead I decided to end things so I can play the field more, get more experience with relationships so that I can determine what I am truly looking for. It came out of left field and devastated her. There was literally no way she saw it coming and all she keeps asking is what she did wrong. But honest to god it's me. There are small things that she would do that would be off-putting, but it was nothing we couldn't talk about. It was incredibly tough for me to actually break up with her. I still feel incredibly guilty and I know she is still devastated. She's taken a leave of absence from her work. I feel so terrible.
I can't help but wonder if I made a terrible mistake but I know these feelings I was having cannot be healthy for a relationship. Hell, who knows, maybe one day in the far future the stars will align and we can get back together. I thought I'd feel relief because I don't have this guilty conscience... but I just feel terrible. Did I fuck up? I have an overwhelming urge to call her and sympathize with her, but my friends say it will just make it harder on her.
|
Broke up with a girl, broke her heart, feeling guilty. How long does this last? Tips for getting over things, tips for helping her get over things?
|
t3_bbj3z
|
AskReddit
|
Reddit, does alcohol + lack of oxygen = get drunk faster?
|
this stemmed from [previous post](
So, my (now-ex) gf comes back to tell me that this girl is responsible at controlling her alcohol and defends her by saying "she didnt take that much! And she can control her intake!" Which begged me to look at how this came about.
Assume free-flow of alcohol (beer, wine, hard-stuff)
Location 1 (Club): dancing + packed like sardines + lack of oxygen = getting drunk faster (an exponential curve) = pass out
Location 2 (pub): open space to chit-chat, the occasional shaking of body parts + more space to maneuver = getting drunk (straight line)
Is this true? Or am i missing something? Because of the dancing at clubs, I would assume that you work up a sweat thus making the alcohol dissipate from your body faster.
|
does alcohol + lack of oxygen = get drunk faster?
|
t3_4bxsuk
|
relationships
|
My [27/F] sister [22/F] is having a huge issue with a crazy ex boyfriend harassing her online and now he is targeting our family including myself. Need help!
|
Ok so I made a throwaway just for this since I don't know if he is on reddit and don't want to be found, but here is the issue:
My sister was in a long distance relationship with this guy, I believe he is the same age. He manipulated her, brain-washed her, and just took advantage all while being thousands of miles away (I know, crazy). It got to the point where she stopped going out, stopped hanging out with friends, etc.
He also had her on the phone CONSTANTLY. Like she'd have her headset on 24/7 and on a phone call with him. If she left the house, she had to send pictures to him to prove she was where she said she was. All of this was just crazy and I couldn't believe how or why my sister fell for this and how she was still able to continue a relationship with this dude.
Fast forward five months and somehow my sister snaps out of it and breaks up with him. This is when shit hit the fan. He went apeshit. Called her 100s of times a day, emailed, etc. Then she blocked him from everything and he continued to find her new emails and new numbers.
Now it has escalated to where he is creating fake facebook profiles and instagram accounts to shame her by pretending to be her and posting sexual/pornographic images. He has also made a page pretending to be her, made an "orgy-party" event and posted my parents address.
We are at a loss at what to do and I'm just needing a bit of help. We are just blocking the pages, reporting to Facebook, etc. but he keeps making pages after pages and sending messages to me and my older sister.
Thanks for taking the time to read this!
|
Sister has a crazy ex that is harassing her online and pretending to be her by making fake profiles. At a loss of what to do next.
|
t3_17ha55
|
AskReddit
|
We see these with celebrities a lot, but in honor of Super Bowl week, what is the best/worst encounter with an athlete you've ever had?
|
Good - 1.) I got an all-access pass to a Jacksonville Jaguars game a few years ago. They were playing the Colts and I was on the field near the players' tunnel a couple of hours before the game. Saw Peyton Manning come out to warm up and since his receivers weren't out yet, he talked to me for a few minutes... Every bit as nonchalant and awkwardly amusing as his commercials make him out to be. 2.) Got to golf with Maurice Jones-Drew at a charity event. Not only is he a decent golfer, but he couldn't have been cooler. By the end of the day, all of us were giving each other hell about bad shots like we were everyday golfing buddies. 3.) I ended up in the same bar as Claude Giroux a few months ago. I have worked in sports my whole life and am no stranger to interacting with superstars without gushing, but after a few drinks, I felt obliged to congratulate him for whipping Sidney Crosby's ass in the playoffs. Once I got going, he seemed to be just as happy as I was to reminisce and even bought me a few rounds.
Bad - 1.) Same as Giroux, I once happened to be in the same restaurant as Tom Brady. Didn't even approach him, but his 'people' were pushing other patrons aside the whole night and more than one person that only tried to say hello was given a "not now" by Brady. 2.) Floyd Mayweather... I like to think that I'm realistic about letting celebrities have their space and just trying to have as normal a conversation as possible if I'm face to face with them, but Mayweather is that special breed of douche that makes it impossible not to know that you're in his presence while also making you feel threatened for having the gall to have unknowingly been where he planned on being. I was twice pushed away by his entourage and had to wait for over two hours to get to the elevator that went to my hotel room just because that path would have brought me too close to where Floyd was gambling/spilling drinks/harassing casino employees.
|
Peyton Manning is pretty cool, MoJo Drew is cooler, and Claude Giroux will get you drunk... Tom Brady is just as big of a tool as his GQ spreads would have you believe and Floyd Mayweather might have you buried in the desert outside of Vegas if you get too close to him.
|
t3_1qcnsi
|
relationships
|
Me [23 F] with my 26 [M] boyfriend of 4 months: How to ask how he feels about heels and height differences? (Silly question)
|
I'm a tall girl, and pretty much exactly the same height (5'10") as my SO. It seems silly, but I had an ex who *REALLY* hated when I wore heels, and told me it was emasculating (plenty of jealousy/controlling issues with him though, hence the 'ex' prefix)... Thing is I love them! I do some work as freelance model (I'm in grad school, so when I have time) but outside of gigs or gala's I go to solo for work, I only wear flats around him. We met when I was in heels (so there's some warning), but I haven't rocked them since. Is this something I should discuss, or should I just bust them out for date night with a dress one of these days? Curious what other ladies in my situation do/ other guy's opinions.
|
Do guys need notice if I'm going to wear heels and be taller?
|
t3_26aft6
|
relationships
|
[18 M] Asked a girl on a date, was nervous and I am unsure if she thinks if I'm interested in a relationship or just friendship.
|
The good thing was that I got a yes at least! Anyway, we're both quite awkward I guess (senior year at high school) and I wanted to take her to a movie we'd been txting about. I asked at the end of school today, I had a plan to be more direct, but she was gorgeous and the nerves got to me, so I ended up just asking her if she wanted to go see the movie with me tomorrow, and so the question I'm asking here is if this is enough? However, a few weeks ago I brought it up that we should go on a date sometime, but it was a really busy time for is both, so I never followed it up (until today sort of). So I'm thinking she probably knows I'm interested, but I really want to make sure.
Also, any tips on the first date? I'm not exactly experienced with them, and I want to make sure it can go smoothly and positively.
|
I never mentioned 'date' when I asked, but I mentioned going on one several weeks earlier
|
t3_mrwla
|
offmychest
|
Feeling low, just need to get it offmychest
|
I have a tendency to hit on everything when I drink too much, but I'm constantly beating myself up lately because I'm in a happy commited relationship and when I sober up, all I want is him. I attribute it to being attention starved especially because I rarely get to hang out with my SO because we have conflicting schedules. Last night I got drunk and the night was going great until I let it slip in front of everyone how I would do one of my friends right to his face. Deep down I did formally have a crush on this guy but we're such good friends I would never want to jeopordize that, and even if I were single I could never bring myself to be romantically involved. I really do love my bf with all my heart and would never cheat, and I do see us having a long and fruitful relationship, but when I get drunk I get over confident and feel sexy and just randomly hit on everything....
I've been doing great with my drinking lately and last night was the first time I got trashed in a while, and today I just feel bad and embarrassed. My friends all don't really care and just find it funny and understand its just being drunk and stupid but the regret ruins my entire day and I just keep beating myself about it. The bf doesn't know about this incident because I don't want to upset him when nothing happened but hes aware of my antics because I am honest and open about everything and he trusts me whole heartedly. I just needed to vent, and I don't feel comfortable talking to anyone about it really. I know a lot of people who do this too and alcohol is famous for producing word vomit but I can't shake the negative feelings.
I don't want to be judged, I don't want relationship advice. I just would like to see if anyone else has done anything like this and how do you deal with it?
|
Tend to get drunk and hit on everyone, hit on good friend last night, feels bad man
|
t3_wd77l
|
relationships
|
Tl;Dr: GF and I had mini-fight over whether I would make her quit smoking
|
My girlfriend and I just had the closest thing to a fight we've had in over a year and a half of dating. We're both 22.
So I was texting my girlfriend, and in conversation I brought up my granddad, who made my grandma quit smoking before they got married. She asks, knowing that I'm similar to my granddad in his gruff, straightforwardness, if I'd make her quit smoking, even though she only smokes a couple times a week. I tell her that if it interfered with our relationship or the health of our children, then yes, I would. She texts me back: "Wow." I press her further, to which she says: "I don't know, just kinda.. overpowering...?" At this point, I know I've at least aggravated her, and I realize I was being a douche for trying to control her in that way. It isn't what's best for either of us, and I hate that I acted that way. I apologize, end up telling her that we're both gonna have to make compromises, and, that said, I would never force her to do anything she isn't comfortable with. She forgives me, tells me she loves me, and that she's glad we discussed it now rather than later. Night ends up normal, with her telling me good night, and that she'll see me tomorrow.
Was I in the wrong here? I've never seen her get this upset about anything involving us, though it was minor. And, yes, I'm thinking of popping the question soon. Also, anything I should do from here? It really scared the shit out of me when she texted that back to me, cause that was really the closest I've ever come to losing her, as much of a pussy as I sound like for saying that.
|
GF and I had mini-fight over whether I would make her quit smoking
|
t3_2q9t7w
|
relationships
|
I [27F] just rediscovered the 'how to fix your gayness' notes my mother wrote after I came out to her five years ago.
|
I was thoroughly miserable throughout my teenage years, for several reasons. My parents are not great communicators or demonstrators of affection, so the question of 'why were you so unhappy?' didn't actually arise until I was 22. I consider it to be one of the most difficult moments of my life, when I decided to share with mother that I had struggled with feelings for other girls.
I waited until I could see her in person, as we don't live in the same city. It was the second to last day of my trip home when I finally somehow gathered the courage to sit down with her and say it. She seemed shocked into silence. There was very little discussion. But as I was soon to find out she had plenty of opinion on the subject. Later I found a list on my pillow of all the ways she rationalised that this could have happened to me and how we could treat it.
I had expected her to be the 'we love you for who you are' type, but boy was I wrong. I 'needed to be fixed.' We had a massive argument that day. I left. And then we never spoke of it again.
5 years later, I'm now 27 and visiting home. My mother just gave me a folder of paperwork relating to me that needed to be sorted through. And I found... the notes she made. This feels like a fresh wound again.
I envy the relationship other women have with their mothers. While we weren't particularly close before the incident, now I actively dislike going home and being physically close to her. I feel like the damage is irreparable. Would appreciate advice.
|
Just rediscovered notes my mother made on 'fixing' my gayness 5 years ago. Relationship is still broken, how can we move on?
|
t3_1rljgw
|
relationship_advice
|
Horrible post break-up guilt Me: 24f, him: 26M
|
Hi Reddit,
I've been posting a lot lately, I recently broke up with my bf of almost 6 years. I'm just feeling terribly guilty about the way I treated him throughout the relationship. I feel like I constantly criticized him. The truth is, I thought I could change him. My mom was like this with my dad before they divorced, and maybe that's where I learned it.
I used to tell my bf that he should work out more, that he should buy different clothes, that he needed to be friendlier (he's socially awkward and when we meet people he sometimes just zones out and shows little interest and it embarrassed me). I feel like I just broke him down completely, that he will be scarred for a long time. I tried several times to take a break, I even told him once that I wasn't sure if I was still in love with him, but he wanted to stay in the relationship. He wanted it to continue. He hardly ever criticized me, he always supported me and boosted my self-esteem. I just feel absolutely terrible.
|
Broke up with bf of almost 6 years, feeling terrible because I think I was too hard on him in our relationship. I criticized him a lot, wanted him to change certain things like how he dressed and wanted him to work out more. To be fair, he almost never exercised and I tried to encourage him to go to the gym, not to lose weight, but to be healthy. Ugh, I feel awful.
|
t3_1duyfh
|
AskReddit
|
Friend with GF [M16] grabbed my ass [F16], help?
|
So I was at my friends house and every seat was taken so I sat on my friends lap, before hand he was asking a lot of sexual questions but I didn't think much of it cause our group is open on that kind of stuff. Then he started groping my ass, I didn't stop him cause I kinda liked it but I feel weird cause he has a GF [F16] and I've been feeling like I should speak to him about it but I dont know what to say cause we have always been playfully flirting but not in this level. I need your advice, please? I am so confused right now. Sorry if this is the wrong subreddit I just don't know where to place this.
|
friend grabbed my ass, I liked it but he has a GF
|
t3_286f8y
|
relationships
|
I [22/M] have been looking to break up with my gf [21] of 2 years for over 2 months now but misfortune keeps striking her. Most recent is that she found out her dad has cancer. Need advice
|
I have been looking to breakup with my girlfriend of 2 years for about 2 months now as I will be traveling to a completely different part of the country for grad school as well as some other issues. The thing is, every time I feel I have worked up the courage, she finds out something terrible has happened. Housing situations falling through, current roommates killed her pet hamster, parents couldn't make college graduation because her dad had to have surgery to remove a benign tumor, and most recently, they found out that he now has malignant cancer in a different part of his body. I know the saying "there is never a good time to break up," but I would like to end on relatively good terms and I feel that would not be possible if I do it when she has so much shit going on in her life.
So relationships, do you have any advice?
|
Want to break up with girlfriend but her life has turned into the "A Series of Unfortunate Events" books.
|
t3_2x0zwj
|
relationships
|
How do I [22M] tell a bunch of friends that they owe a society money?
|
I'm part of a university society that offers meals for its members. These meals are not free, but the system allows you to sign up for them and pay later, and keeps a record of your debt. This sounds silly or at least risky, but is meant to encourage members to come to meals rather than think "I can't afford it this week" or something like that. That said, any deficit in the system is made up by one or two dedicated students - we don't have any rich donors that can cover debts longterm, so it is important that people do eventually pay up, if they can. Unfortunately, people do fairly regularly leave the university without paying off their debt, and once that happens, the automated debt emails start to bounce from their no-longer-active university email accounts.
Which brings me to my question. I'm not one of the people in charge of running the meal system, but I have some involvement in the running of the society website so I have access to the database of debtors, and I've been at the society longer than most people with a fairly high level of involvement, so I would estimate I know at least half of the people who have left without paying to at least a Facebook friend level.
The person in charge of rounding up owed money has asked me to contact the people I know about this, and I agreed because I've seen how stressful trying to handle this has been for her, but most of the people on the list are not close friends of mine, just people I've occasionally spoken to. How can I tactfully establish contact with them and ask them to pay my society money?
|
I've volunteered to speak to people that owe a university society money, but most of them are neither close friends of mine nor people I don't know at all. Is there a way to be tactful about this?
|
t3_2xx9t1
|
tifu
|
TIFU by taking a screenshot on my phone.
|
so here I am waiting for the subway to go to work. Browsing my instagram feed. Cute girl walks up to wait on the platform for the train stands only a few feet from me. See a post that I think my girlfriend would like. Decide to screencap it and just send her the pic because she doesnt use instagram. Holding phone at a normal texing level but have to raise it a bit to hit the two button screenshot combo. Well apparently my volume was all the way up and my phone plays the camera shutter sound when you screencap. Girl next to me screams "Are you fucking SERIOUS?!?!?" And smacks my phone out of my hand and into the snow 4 feet below the platform and walks to the opposite end of the platform to wait for the train. So here I am- wet jeans and a still working phone- just counting seconds till she gets off the train so I can breathe. Couldn't think of a way to approach her in order to explain myself.
This is my day so far.
|
Take screencap on phone- girl next to me thinks I took pic of her. Smacks phone into the arctic tundra leaves before I can explain.
|
t3_12qkow
|
AskReddit
|
I can't seem to ever get up in the mornings. What can I do??
|
Reddit, I type this because I skipped all of my classes yesterday and skipped one this morning. I hate myself for it but m body was screaming at me that it needed the sleep!
I've tried everything I can think of. Proper diet, drinking water before bed for hydration, drinking water as soon as my first alarm goes off, setting my alarm on the other side of the room, multivitamin pills, I've even tried that website that tells you what time to go to bed compared to when you need to get up so it can plan around your sleep schedule.
Why does my body feel it needs 12 hours of sleep a night, and how can I change that? I take school seriously but I can't put in the effort I want to because I'm always so tired!
|
I'm a sleepy fuck who can't seem to wake up on their own and is desperate for advice.
|
t3_tt8qr
|
relationship_advice
|
Ex-girlfriend is playing mind games, HELP
|
Long story short, I broke up with her (we were dating for 6 months). I told her I wanted to date again and she said she wants to wait. She keeps telling me she loves me, i'm the one and not go and date other women. Yet, she always ignore my facebook messages (it can take up to 2-3 days before she answers, before we were dating she'd ALWAYS answer them) she always ignores my phone calls too. She goes out almost every night now and calls me when she's drunk, ALL THE TIME. I don't know what to do! It's driving me crazy what she's doing. I can't stop thinking we'll get back together, I can't stop thinking about her all the fucking time. I can't do anything right anymore because she's always in my mind. I'm fucking depressed and miserable. I try telling her how I feel, but she get's angry at me. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!
|
ex-gf playing mind-games with me, help!
|
t3_4d4cqs
|
relationships
|
I [20 F] miss my (former?) best friend [20 M] of 6 years, we haven't talked in 6 months.
|
Hi r/relationships. I'll try to keep this short. My best friend and I were super close for many years, we went to the same schools, so we were able to physically see each other a lot. For college, we both moved out of state, but we went to different schools in different states, so we weren't able to see each other as much anymore, but we would still talk a lot. Everything was fine for the first year of college, but this past year, my friend got pretty busy with a few jobs, his girlfriend, and school. I also have a job and classes to deal with, so I understand that he couldn't be available at all times, but it seemed like something changed.
We used to text each other every day at all times of the day, but I was now unable to get a reply for several days. I was aware that he was busy and had a girlfriend, and so I decided to let him know that I didn't want to keep bothering him with texts, and that he could just text me whenever he had time. I did this to try to preserve our friendship, but I think it actually ended it, because we haven't spoken in months. I think maybe he mistook my respect of his situation as an attack, like, "you don't want to talk to me? Fine, I'll stop bothering you!" when that wasn't what I was trying to do at all. I want to reach out to him, but I'm scared, because I'd rather live with not knowing if our friendship is over, than having it confirmed.
I miss him so much, but I've only ever wanted him to be happy, and he seems to be doing fine without me. Should I just leave him alone and accept the fact that maybe I miss him more than he misses me?
|
It became difficult to get my best friend to talk to me, so I told him to just talk to me when he had time, but I think he mistook my intentions and we haven't spoken in months.
|
t3_1wdb2a
|
relationships
|
(34M) I don't respect my father and hate myself for it. More in comment section.
|
Im an accomplished professional, married with 3 kids. I have pretty much everything what an upper middle class family can afford, both materialistically and spiritually. Yet there is one thing still chasing me from the childhood and i simply cannot overcome it.
In short, I was 11 when our parents separated. It was a very dramatic and disgusting divorce as i remember. Our parents and their close relatives tried everything they could to damage one another's reputation in front of their children ( my brother and I). During the final court hearing, I voiced my wish to live with my father and the wish was granted.
Soon, my father remarried and had another child, I was 14 by that time. Constant friction between my stepmother and I continued escalating literally until I moved out his house at the age of 20.
After countless hours of self analysis I have come to a conclusion that my father has been verbally abusing me all my life. All I have are negative memories of his verbal abuse. Name calling was very common, but no profanity. "You stupid idiot" was his famous one. I have never heard him praising me yet he was very generous pointing out my problems and failures. What a sure way to raise an insecure child.
Now, fast forward, he has turned me into a successful person, full of anger towards himself, I'm hardly happy with my accomplishments and display traits of perfectionism. Financially, he's very unstable. Every time I take an opportunity to help, he turns me down just the way he's been turning me down all my life. At 34, I have completely gone the opposite route from him, when we meet I have nothing to talk to him about and what really bothers me is that I should accept things the way they are and have some kind of a closure and yet I don't and I can't. All I want is that healthy father son relationship at the present moment that I've never had.
I feel like I need a professional therapy and should just quit trying to self help. Reddit is my last attempt.
|
My father is a very pessimistic person. My entire life he's been brining me down instead of providing guidance. How can I held myself to come in acceptance with his character and move on with my life?
|
t3_3cckwa
|
Advice
|
Choose Happiness or the Career/Money?
|
Hey everyone, I have a big decision I need to make and I could use some advice as my family and friends are all rather bias. I got a job in the town I went to college about a year ago. Moved in with my girlfriend at the time and everything was okay. She ended things about 8-9 months ago and I am now not living with her any more. Since then I have been hanging out with my best-friend a lot more from home (about 5 hours away) and he introduced me to a girl. We have been dating for a few months now and I am pretty bonkers for this girl. I dated since my ex broke up with me and this girl is just something else, but I can see the long distance taking its toll over time. Also my best-friend wants to move in with me by December/January. And also my mother wants me to move back near her and my grandmother in order to take care of my grandmother.
Now, as for where I am living now, being in a college town, all but one of my friends have moved away. I am living with random people and I am not doing to hot in the happiness department, and I am rather lonely and spending a lot of money commuting to see the girl, bff, and family. However, I have a job in the field I want my career to be in that I don't have a degree for and finding a job like this would be very hard to do. I would be taking a pretty big pay hit as I would probably be working for a service job for a few months until I got a job that pays better.
So should I choose to be happy and move, or just stay and have the job/commute for friends, family, and gf?
|
Work in my college town, all friends moved away, lonely but make good money. New gf, bff and family are 5 hours away and I am thinking about moving back to be with them and sacrifice the job. What do?
|
t3_2tqfxs
|
tifu
|
TIFU by peeing on a campfire.
|
In 2008, I went to a State Park with Boy Scouts. On Saturday night, we had the troop campfire in our patrol site. When everyone outside of our patrol left, two boys peed on the fire to put it out. Several minutes later, I decided to pee on it to put the rest of it out. One scout in my patrol asked "Why did you pee in the fire!" Everyone was mad at me and the campsite smelled bad.
The next morning, when I still thought it was funny, people were still mad at me for peeing on the fire. The camp site still smelled bad. When a scout from another patrol walked into our campsite, he asked "What's that smell" so a guy from our patrol said, "Last night, this guy peed on the fire."
I received most of the blame for it even though two other boys peed on the fire too.
|
I peed on the campfire and the campsite smelled bad into the next morning. Everyone was mad at me. A guy from another patrol wondered why the campsite smelled bad. I received the blame for it.
|
t3_2x2i95
|
tifu
|
TIFU by failing to FULLY introduce my friend to Reddit.
|
Everyday at work I comb through reddit looking for interesting articles to rattle off to my co-workers. It gives me something productive to do with my time at work and makes me seem smart.
About 2 months ago my co-worker asked what site I am always looking at, so I explained Reddit to him. He thought it was interesting and immediately made an account. Having the classy reddiquette that I do, I figured I would help him set up his subscriptions with all the most interesting, top subs. Something work related came up and I ended up not finishing the list.
Jump to today: Three months later, co-worker has turned into a complete asshole. Constantly making racist jokes about white people, jive speaking, and degrading all of the women at work with weight problems. I couldn't figure it out.. He used to be SO nice! He approached me today, thanking me again for setting up his Reddit account. Then I figured it out..
|
I fucked up by only subscribing my co-worker to /r/fatpeoplehate and /r/blackpeopletwitter
|
t3_151ong
|
self
|
Aaaaaaaaarrrrrgggghhh!!!! Just been laid off.... 1 week before xmas! Aaaaaaaaaarrrrrgggghhhhhhhh!!!!!!!
|
Sorry, gonna rant. Fucking bollocks. Just got called into a meeting room to be told I was being let go at the end of the week. I've only been here about 2 months. There has been a bit of a slowing in the amount of work (we... sorry, they are a manufacturer of high vacuum equipment used in the production of silicon chips) but things were ticking over nicely it seemed. Anyway it turns out someone wrote an anonymous letter to HR basically moaning that they had no overtime and that there was overstaffing on the shop floor. Consequently I'm out of a job. Cheers for that you tosser.
My wife is in tears, and she's fragile at the moment anyway after just having her gallbladder out so that's a shitter aswell. Like I said aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrgggghhh!!!!! Skint and pissed off. I'm not usually self indulgent but fuck it its xmas. Maybe I'll try religion. Or not.
|
Lost job today. Pissed off. Happy xmas.
|
t3_32m90x
|
legaladvice
|
My parents old pastor has been hitting my mother up for methadone. I want to report him but am unsure of the legal ramifications that my mother might face. (Indiana)
|
The title pretty much sums it up. My parents old pastor has been hounding my mother for her vicodin and her methadone. He comes over a few times a month and he will not take no for an answer. He's even gone as far as tracking my mother down and going to her relative's house to get drugs. The worst part is that they're also renting from his family. So they're kind of stuck between a rock and an asshole.
Clearly he is in a position of power over my parents and this is a very clear abuse of that power. I want to report him after they move out because I don't want this to happen to anyone else, but I don't want my parents to get in trouble either.
|
asshole pastor is using my mother for drugs and I need to know what kind of trouble my mom might run into if I report said asshole.
|
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