an-atlas/data · Datasets at Hugging Face

All my life, my parents have told me not to open the basement door, but I got curious and disobeyed them. stringlengths 12 297	What is that glowing ball in the sky and why does it hurt my eyes? stringlengths 4 3.37k ⌀
When the kidnapper made me guess where he kept my daughter, I went for the basement and he said "Correct!" allowing me to see her.	But when I found her severed head in there, I learned that every other choice would have been correct as well.
I have been working on stories to compete with the best on this sub but I'm finding it near impossible.	I'm beginning to think some of you are just making yours up.
Whenever I considered killing myself to escape my parents' abuse, I'd just recite my mantra "you don't deserve to die".	Ironically, now that they are old, hungry, covered in bedsores, and begging to be put out of their misery, I still have the same mantra.
...she said last time, we're stuck in a time loop	Which really pisses me off because that's what...
I framed the first letter I got as a police officer, from a woman thanking me after I'd supported her through her daughter's suicide.	I passed it in my hallway every day for nearly eight years before realising the handwriting was the same as on the girl's suicide note.
"Now be careful, that line of rock salt is the only thing keeping them out," the man said, welcoming my group into his refuge.	"Sea salt," I clarified, "sea salt keeps us out."
My husband has been very upset with me since my failed suicide attempt	He’s crying nonstop and he won’t acknowledge me
I was born blind but was lucky enough to have a loving mother who took care of my every need.	Imagine the betrayal I felt when a stitch slipped and a ray of light hit my eye for the first time.
As I slit her throat, I looked in her unblinking eyes and realised too late that she wanted to live.	I knew it to be true because mirrors don't lie.
Please, take me instead! I scream, grabbing at the two men who took my child	“Sorry ma’am, children only” they said, as they continue loading up the last lifeboat on the ship.
So it turns out you can feel everything that happens to your body after death.	I suppose I should be flattered my husband still finds me attractive after all these years.
Tinder is completely useless, and I don’t have a single match.	If I don’t find another way to start a campfire tonight, I’ll freeze to death.
The principal of my sons school called me at work today to tell me my son pushed another kid while on on a school excursion.	I initially thought that this hardly warranted a phone call, until I remembered that my sons excursion was to the Grand Canyon...
When the tsunamis hit, most people were evacuated.	Feeling the trickle of water rise to my chin, I let go of the prison bars in bitter resentment.
For my last wish, I wished my dad to be alive again.	I stood atop his grave and smiled, imagining him screaming and clawing at his coffin lid as he did the two previous times I wished him back.
There's a serial rapist in my town who claims over 100 victims every year.	The fact that no one believes them makes me even more scared of her.
“Ah, so it’s 2020” the time traveller said.	“Very early in from the looks of it,” he muttered under his breath
"Battery at 1%"	I looked at Earth one last time before my suit ran out of power
It's been almost a decade since I last saw my mother.	And she still reminds me every day that if I misbehave again she'll take my hearing too.
They say you die once when you stop breathing and a second time when someone says your name for the last time	Sitting alone in my dilapidated apartment for years now, I realize its not always in that order.
Yesterday I visited my boyfriend, who was serving a life sentence in prison.	As I watched that asshole shaking and pissing himself with fear, I knew he finally regretted beating me to death.
My grandmother died giving birth to my mother, who died giving birth to me.	As I feel my consciousness slip away, I pray that my baby is a boy.
They say we have a primal sense, that we can just feel when someone is watching us.	It's been a few weeks, and it's clear that you do not have that sense.
I laid paralyzed, patiently waiting for the curse to be lifted by a true love’s kiss	When the prince came, he tore away my dress with lust and I realized I was never meant to be saved.
Bullets flew through the mall, ripping clothes to shreds.	In the chaos, no one noticed the mannequins bleeding.
Here I am: trying my best to swim while slowly bleeding to death as I see the boat sailing away.	"What do they even need my fins for?"
Daddy made me sit in the chair while he tied a string from my tooth to the doorknob.	Before he slammed the door, he said "Tell me where Mommy went, and we can stop doing this."
I frantically ran to Walmart's customer service to pick up my son who got lost in the store	"Nice try sir, his father already picked him up"
I look at my father's head on the wall, knowing that he'll finally be proud of me today.	Then I look back at the terrified hunter and sink my antlers into his chest.
After her best friend Julia committed suicide, my daughter Sara started a charity in her honor to combat cyber bullying.	While it took a lot of work to finally push Julia over the edge, my husband and I are just so happy that Sara can add this activity to her college applications.
I promised my wife that when I return from the war, we'd sit down and rewatch the movie from our first date.	But now she's dying in the hospital, all because she wanted to make popcorn.
After giving birth I asked when the young redhead nurse will be back with my baby	There’s apparently no nurses working here by that description.
“I forgot to grab something, I’ll be right back,” said Mom.	As she rounded the corner, out of sight, the cashier began ringing up our groceries.
I was so devastated when I came home and found my wife in bed with another man that I left without saying a word.	It wasn't until the day after when I finally returned that I noticed the lock on the back door was broken.
In his last days, Grandpa would weep and rave about the fires of Hell, and I wondered how such a good man could fear such a thing.	After the funeral I found the photographs, and learned for the first time that his days in Buchenwald had not been spent as a prisoner.
My wife told me she thinks that she is going mad as she keeps hearing voices in our house	After she committed suicide my girlfriend helped me remove all the hidden speakers from around the house
I didn't understand his sexual attraction to me.	I tried to tell his wife, but it's not like she could understand my barking.
I used to hate the sound of crickets outside the lonely farmhouse.	Now every time they go silent I know that thing is passing by, and I pray for them to chirp again.
"It seems you have discovered an entirely new type of termite".	The doctor turned around with the x-rays; "this also explains the 'aching' you've been feeling in your bones".
firSt sentence	secOnd Sentence
I put up some pretty solid posts last night, but I woke up this morning and noticed that almost all of them got taken down.	I can’t help but wonder, If they made it past the fence this easy, who’s to say they aren’t already inside?
The sound of my son calling for my help grew fainter and fainter.	As the batteries in my hearing aides died, I realized it would soon be impossible for me to find him in time.
“911, what’s your emergency?” I asked, and listened to the quiet sobs of a little kid on the end of the line.	“I think my daddy wants to kill me” the girl said and cried, making me freeze on the spot as I recognized my daughter’s voice.
I'm going to have to leave this sub.	The crew looked on in terror as their captain opened the hatch at a depth of 2000 feet.
After I killed myself to escape my tormentor, I lost all my memories as I was reincarnated in a new body.	The mother held her newborn child in her arms and said: "Did you think you could get away that easily?"
My dad told me that his flashlight could kill any monster.	When I told him about what uncle Jack had been doing to my sister, he made sure to demonstrate.
I love going to the beach and watching the difference between the low and high tides.	Although this tide has been very low for quite some time.
I decided to kill off a few characters in the book I’m writing.	It would definitely spice up my autobiography a little.
When I travelled back in time, my past-self asked with tentative hope, "When does it get better?"	I couldn't think of how to answer without breaking his heart, but as I began to fade out of existence, I realized my hesitation gave him everything he needed to know.
"That was the police telling me my brother, Tyler, was found dead in his apartment this morning," I told my boyfriend, my breath shaking with shock and grief.	My boyfriend threw his arms around me in loving embrace and angrily said, "what kind of sick psycho would shoot a decent guy like Tyler?"
When I was a toddler, a drug-addled homeless woman ran up to my father, ripped me from his embrace, and sprinted away.	She knew she couldn’t physically stop my father from jumping off the overpass, but thanks to her, I didn’t die with him.
Trapped and starving in a World War I trench, I gave my last ration to my best friend and partner.	Adolf seems so passionate about having a future in politics, it would be wrong to let him die.
“Okay Larry, for this underwater scene, Julia will be pretending to drown, but will hold up three fingers when she needs air.”	“Okay Julia, if you need air during your underwater scene, just wave your hands, and Larry will hand you the scuba mask.”
“It’s okay, darling, the new babysitter is here to put you to bed,” my mother said as she hugged me and smiled at the young woman behind her.	I’m surprised she couldn’t feel me shaking as I looked upon the face that I’d been seeing outside my window for weeks.
As I felt the knife run down my skin, I felt oddly happy.	Well it wasn’t my skin yet.
When the old gypsy woman told me that I would die “at the stroke of midnight” I was skeptical but decided to stay up anyway.	As left side of my body went completely numb, I realized that English was probably not her first language...
"Genie, I wish there was enough food on this Earth that no one ever had to go hungry."	"Granted," he replied with a laugh, but nothing changed.
I've been chained here for a week, suffering under the scorching sun with no food or water, and I'm beginning to the fear the worst.	Maybe I'm not such a good boi after all.
Unable to move I could only look at my killer.	In a fit of childish curiosity my two year old pulled the plug.
I roll my eyes as another unskippable ad plays on the small screen in my father’s hospital room.	“Please Resume Eye Contact With The Advertisement Immediately To Continue Using The Complimentary Life Support Service.”
Through the orphanage it crept silently in the darkness, killing the children in their sleep as they dreamed of better lives with new parents.	It was later learned that the stealthy and dreaded murderer could have been stopped by simply replacing the 9-volt battery in the carbon monoxide detector.
My last girlfriend always got creeped out by the 14 'weird' dolls I kept on display.	I have a new girlfriend now, and she wants me to throw out all 15 of the 'disturbingly lifelike' dolls.
After being satisfied that I learned as much information as I could on every topic under the sun, I unfroze time after many years.	Guilt ripped into me the moment the first person I encountered sobbed that they were conscious the whole time.
"The tests are negative, you are not pregnant", the doctor said.	"I have no idea what the thing in your body is."
“Your wife picked up your kids half an hour ago, sir.”	I rushed out so fast I didn’t tell the school that I didn’t have a wife, and I began to cry as I realized I was finally free of those filthy animals.
“Good girl,” I murmured to my beloved dog as the first tears slid down my face.	I didn’t think her little teeth would hurt this bad, but its been three days since I fell, and there’s no need for us both to starve.
I used my first wish to become a billionaire, and I used my second one to find out what happens after death.	I was planning to use my 3rd wish to free my genie, but instead I used it to become immortal.
The last thing the boy ever did was cry out for his mommy.	Never me, always his fucking mommy- that's all the vindication I needed.
"Finally, I have the house to myself.", the boy said when he threw himself on the couch.	Pinocchio's dread grew as fast as his nose did when the words left his mouth
Truth be told, I didn’t divorce my husband because of the countless photos of his mistresses’ tits I found in his phone.	I divorced him because they weren’t attached to a body.
I kept reminding the little boy that he was going to meet spongebob.	He eventually stopped crying and even helped me tie the bricks to his feet.
“I’ve always had the supernatural ability to know where someone was by looking at a photo of them.	So it pained me to tell the mother of a missing child that her daughter was in several different places.”
I was devastated when my beautiful niece was chosen as this harvest’s virgin sacrifice.	I fucking doomed us all.
Not only have we implanted a lifetime of human memories into this rat but we can now monitor what it's thinking.	It appears to think it's reading the second line of a two sentence story on reddit right now.
"Thanks for the gold, kind stranger!"	I said, as I slowly ripped out his dental implant.
I've always wanted to be a writer, but my family always berated me and told me not to quit my day job.	As I stand here with tears in my eyes, a trash bin full of disappointment, and a noose around my neck, I hope this last letter they get from me is finally good enough for them.
"I didn't want a baby brother, so I returned him," the girl proudly told her parents.	Outside, the marabou stork pulled flesh greedily from the small carcass lying at its feet.
Out of sheer boredom I turned on the radio in my kidnapper's basement, only to hear that he had been arrested the day before.	I thought they were still searching for me, but then I heard my own voice saying how much I was glad to finally be found.
I could only watch and scream as the murderers held my little boy down and forced the slow-acting poison into his bloodstream.	Unable to take it anymore, I rip out the syringe and furiously look through my bag for his essential oils.
I started tearing up as I walked down the aisle to marry my future husband.	I just wish there was another way to regain my family's honor than marrying my attacker.
I was furious when I found out my daughter is a drug addict, I immediately took the drugs away and grounded her.	Doesn't she know there's no such thing as "depression" and you can find happiness in Jesus?
The new medication worked and the internal voices that always told me what to do went silent.	"Kill them all", I thought, and this time nobody argued back.
My bullies surrounded me, sneering and taunting as they yanked my cap off.	I cried and screamed, but they didn't stop as they moved to my other knee.
When I came home from war, my mother opened the door to me and said, "It's good to see both of you again."	Confused, I reminded her that my brother didn't survive, but then I heard his voice saying, "You can see him too?"
I tried to stifle my cough, before finally hearing someone say "The doctor will see you now"	I greeted the patient with a smile.
The prick who murdered my son is a mod on here.	\[removed\]
On our first date, and all she been talking about is her psychotic ex-husband.	All I can think about is God, my plastic surgeon is fucking good.
My company has created conscious AIs 47 times smarter than humans.	We can never learn too much, because they keep immediately committing suicide.
UPDATE: AITA for leaving after my husband broke my wrist for not cleaning?	He apologized, told me he loves me, and promised it wouldn't happen again, so I'm happy to report I am going back home!
I must admit, lucid dreaming really is as amazing as people say.	But after 2 years, i'd like to wake up again.
A guy just ran up to me while screaming that somebody had locked him in a basement, blindfolded him, and starved him for days.	You should’ve seen the look of absolute horror on his face when he recognized my voice.
"Here comes that rock-throwing little shit from up the street," the first bird said.	"I wouldn't worry--he's only got one stone," the second bird replied.
I gripped the diamond ring with my left hand and the grenade's pin with my right.	Whatever her answer, we'll be spending the rest of our lives together.
I screamed, ran out of my room, and yelled "Dad I saw a huge spider, can you come kill it?"	I hoped the man standing in my closet didn't notice that I saw him, or realize the fact that I was actually home alone.
After being forced to starve and live naked in the woods for years, my wife and I finally found the courage to steal some food from the man who had been torturing us.	I felt my heart sink as a thundering voice shook the Earth, saying "Adam, what have you done..."
"Do you see now there's nothing to be afraid of?" mom asked as she emerged from my closet.	"Yes mommy," I lied, noticing her mole was now on the left.
If the thing notices you, don't worry, there is a gun in the backpack in the kitchen.	However it only has one bullet, so make sure to aim for your forehead , just to be sure.
They say that everytime you learn somthing, a new wrinkle apears on your brain.	After some investigation, I was angry to find out that my students didnt learn anything from my lessons.
I've climbed Everest dozens of times but I've never made it to the summit.	I've begun using my own corpses as trail markers, attempting to reach the top before I freeze to death again.
I shined my flashlight over the cabinet of porcelin dolls.	Their pupils contracted.

When the kidnapper made me guess where he kept my daughter, I went for the basement and he said "Correct!" allowing me to see her.

But when I found her severed head in there, I learned that every other choice would have been correct as well.

I have been working on stories to compete with the best on this sub but I'm finding it near impossible.

I'm beginning to think some of you are just making yours up.

Whenever I considered killing myself to escape my parents' abuse, I'd just recite my mantra "you don't deserve to die".

Ironically, now that they are old, hungry, covered in bedsores, and begging to be put out of their misery, I still have the same mantra.

...she said last time, we're stuck in a time loop

Which really pisses me off because that's what...

I framed the first letter I got as a police officer, from a woman thanking me after I'd supported her through her daughter's suicide.

I passed it in my hallway every day for nearly eight years before realising the handwriting was the same as on the girl's suicide note.

"Now be careful, that line of rock salt is the only thing keeping them out," the man said, welcoming my group into his refuge.

"Sea salt," I clarified, "sea salt keeps us out."

My husband has been very upset with me since my failed suicide attempt

He’s crying nonstop and he won’t acknowledge me

I was born blind but was lucky enough to have a loving mother who took care of my every need.

Imagine the betrayal I felt when a stitch slipped and a ray of light hit my eye for the first time.

As I slit her throat, I looked in her unblinking eyes and realised too late that she wanted to live.

I knew it to be true because mirrors don't lie.

Please, take me instead! I scream, grabbing at the two men who took my child

“Sorry ma’am, children only” they said, as they continue loading up the last lifeboat on the ship.

So it turns out you can feel everything that happens to your body after death.

I suppose I should be flattered my husband still finds me attractive after all these years.

Tinder is completely useless, and I don’t have a single match.

If I don’t find another way to start a campfire tonight, I’ll freeze to death.

The principal of my sons school called me at work today to tell me my son pushed another kid while on on a school excursion.

I initially thought that this hardly warranted a phone call, until I remembered that my sons excursion was to the Grand Canyon...

When the tsunamis hit, most people were evacuated.

Feeling the trickle of water rise to my chin, I let go of the prison bars in bitter resentment.

For my last wish, I wished my dad to be alive again.

I stood atop his grave and smiled, imagining him screaming and clawing at his coffin lid as he did the two previous times I wished him back.

There's a serial rapist in my town who claims over 100 victims every year.

The fact that no one believes them makes me even more scared of her.

“Ah, so it’s 2020” the time traveller said.

“Very early in from the looks of it,” he muttered under his breath

"Battery at 1%"

I looked at Earth one last time before my suit ran out of power

It's been almost a decade since I last saw my mother.

And she still reminds me every day that if I misbehave again she'll take my hearing too.

They say you die once when you stop breathing and a second time when someone says your name for the last time

Sitting alone in my dilapidated apartment for years now, I realize its not always in that order.

Yesterday I visited my boyfriend, who was serving a life sentence in prison.

As I watched that asshole shaking and pissing himself with fear, I knew he finally regretted beating me to death.

My grandmother died giving birth to my mother, who died giving birth to me.

As I feel my consciousness slip away, I pray that my baby is a boy.

They say we have a primal sense, that we can just feel when someone is watching us.

It's been a few weeks, and it's clear that you do *not* have that sense.

I laid paralyzed, patiently waiting for the curse to be lifted by a true love’s kiss

When the prince came, he tore away my dress with lust and I realized I was never meant to be saved.

Bullets flew through the mall, ripping clothes to shreds.

In the chaos, no one noticed the mannequins bleeding.

Here I am: trying my best to swim while slowly bleeding to death as I see the boat sailing away.

"What do they even need my fins for?"

Daddy made me sit in the chair while he tied a string from my tooth to the doorknob.

Before he slammed the door, he said "Tell me where Mommy went, and we can stop doing this."

I frantically ran to Walmart's customer service to pick up my son who got lost in the store

"Nice try sir, his father already picked him up"

I look at my father's head on the wall, knowing that he'll finally be proud of me today.

Then I look back at the terrified hunter and sink my antlers into his chest.

After her best friend Julia committed suicide, my daughter Sara started a charity in her honor to combat cyber bullying.

While it took a lot of work to finally push Julia over the edge, my husband and I are just so happy that Sara can add this activity to her college applications.

I promised my wife that when I return from the war, we'd sit down and rewatch the movie from our first date.

But now she's dying in the hospital, all because she wanted to make popcorn.

After giving birth I asked when the young redhead nurse will be back with my baby

There’s apparently no nurses working here by that description.

“I forgot to grab something, I’ll be right back,” said Mom.

As she rounded the corner, out of sight, the cashier began ringing up our groceries.

I was so devastated when I came home and found my wife in bed with another man that I left without saying a word.

It wasn't until the day after when I finally returned that I noticed the lock on the back door was broken.

In his last days, Grandpa would weep and rave about the fires of Hell, and I wondered how such a good man could fear such a thing.

After the funeral I found the photographs, and learned for the first time that his days in Buchenwald had not been spent as a prisoner.

My wife told me she thinks that she is going mad as she keeps hearing voices in our house

After she committed suicide my girlfriend helped me remove all the hidden speakers from around the house

I didn't understand his sexual attraction to me.

I tried to tell his wife, but it's not like she could understand my barking.

I used to hate the sound of crickets outside the lonely farmhouse.

Now every time they go silent I know that thing is passing by, and I pray for them to chirp again.

"It seems you have discovered an entirely new type of termite".

The doctor turned around with the x-rays; "this also explains the 'aching' you've been feeling in your bones".

firSt sentence

secOnd Sentence

I put up some pretty solid posts last night, but I woke up this morning and noticed that almost all of them got taken down.

I can’t help but wonder, *If they made it past the fence this easy, who’s to say they aren’t already inside?*

The sound of my son calling for my help grew fainter and fainter.

As the batteries in my hearing aides died, I realized it would soon be impossible for me to find him in time.

“911, what’s your emergency?” I asked, and listened to the quiet sobs of a little kid on the end of the line.

“I think my daddy wants to kill me” the girl said and cried, making me freeze on the spot as I recognized my daughter’s voice.

I'm going to have to leave this sub.

The crew looked on in terror as their captain opened the hatch at a depth of 2000 feet.

After I killed myself to escape my tormentor, I lost all my memories as I was reincarnated in a new body.

The mother held her newborn child in her arms and said: "Did you think you could get away *that* easily?"

My dad told me that his flashlight could kill any monster.

When I told him about what uncle Jack had been doing to my sister, he made sure to demonstrate.

I love going to the beach and watching the difference between the low and high tides.

Although this tide has been very low for quite some time.

I decided to kill off a few characters in the book I’m writing.

It would definitely spice up my autobiography a little.

When I travelled back in time, my past-self asked with tentative hope, "When does it get better?"

I couldn't think of how to answer without breaking his heart, but as I began to fade out of existence, I realized my hesitation gave him everything he needed to know.

"That was the police telling me my brother, Tyler, was found dead in his apartment this morning," I told my boyfriend, my breath shaking with shock and grief.

My boyfriend threw his arms around me in loving embrace and angrily said, "what kind of sick psycho would shoot a decent guy like Tyler?"

When I was a toddler, a drug-addled homeless woman ran up to my father, ripped me from his embrace, and sprinted away.

She knew she couldn’t physically stop my father from jumping off the overpass, but thanks to her, I didn’t die with him.

Trapped and starving in a World War I trench, I gave my last ration to my best friend and partner.

Adolf seems so passionate about having a future in politics, it would be wrong to let him die.

“Okay Larry, for this underwater scene, Julia will be pretending to drown, but will hold up three fingers when she needs air.”

“Okay Julia, if you need air during your underwater scene, just wave your hands, and Larry will hand you the scuba mask.”

“It’s okay, darling, the new babysitter is here to put you to bed,” my mother said as she hugged me and smiled at the young woman behind her.

I’m surprised she couldn’t feel me shaking as I looked upon the face that I’d been seeing outside my window for weeks.

As I felt the knife run down my skin, I felt oddly happy.

Well it wasn’t *my* skin yet.

When the old gypsy woman told me that I would die “at the stroke of midnight” I was skeptical but decided to stay up anyway.

As left side of my body went completely numb, I realized that English was probably not her first language...

"Genie, I wish there was enough food on this Earth that no one ever had to go hungry."

"Granted," he replied with a laugh, but nothing changed.

I've been chained here for a week, suffering under the scorching sun with no food or water, and I'm beginning to the fear the worst.

Maybe I'm not such a *good boi* after all.

Unable to move I could only look at my killer.

In a fit of childish curiosity my two year old pulled the plug.

I roll my eyes as another unskippable ad plays on the small screen in my father’s hospital room.

“Please Resume Eye Contact With The Advertisement Immediately To Continue Using The Complimentary Life Support Service.”

Through the orphanage it crept silently in the darkness, killing the children in their sleep as they dreamed of better lives with new parents.

It was later learned that the stealthy and dreaded murderer could have been stopped by simply replacing the 9-volt battery in the carbon monoxide detector.

My last girlfriend always got creeped out by the 14 'weird' dolls I kept on display.

I have a new girlfriend now, and she wants me to throw out all 15 of the 'disturbingly lifelike' dolls.

After being satisfied that I learned as much information as I could on every topic under the sun, I unfroze time after many years.

Guilt ripped into me the moment the first person I encountered sobbed that they were conscious the whole time.

"The tests are negative, you are not pregnant", the doctor said.

"I have no idea what the thing in your body is."

“Your wife picked up your kids half an hour ago, sir.”

I rushed out so fast I didn’t tell the school that I didn’t have a wife, and I began to cry as I realized I was finally free of those filthy animals.

“Good girl,” I murmured to my beloved dog as the first tears slid down my face.

I didn’t think her little teeth would hurt this bad, but its been three days since I fell, and there’s no need for us both to starve.

I used my first wish to become a billionaire, and I used my second one to find out what happens after death.

I was planning to use my 3rd wish to free my genie, but instead I used it to become immortal.

The last thing the boy ever did was cry out for his mommy.

Never *me*, always his fucking *mommy-* that's all the vindication I needed.

"Finally, I have the house to myself.", the boy said when he threw himself on the couch.

Pinocchio's dread grew as fast as his nose did when the words left his mouth

Truth be told, I didn’t divorce my husband because of the countless photos of his mistresses’ tits I found in his phone.

I divorced him because they weren’t attached to a body.

I kept reminding the little boy that he was going to meet spongebob.

He eventually stopped crying and even helped me tie the bricks to his feet.

“I’ve always had the supernatural ability to know where someone was by looking at a photo of them.

So it pained me to tell the mother of a missing child that her daughter was in several different places.”

I was devastated when my beautiful niece was chosen as this harvest’s virgin sacrifice.

I fucking doomed us all.

Not only have we implanted a lifetime of human memories into this rat but we can now monitor what it's thinking.

It appears to think it's reading the second line of a two sentence story on reddit right now.

"Thanks for the gold, kind stranger!"

I said, as I slowly ripped out his dental implant.

I've always wanted to be a writer, but my family always berated me and told me not to quit my day job.

As I stand here with tears in my eyes, a trash bin full of disappointment, and a noose around my neck, I hope this last letter they get from me is finally good enough for them.

"I didn't want a baby brother, so I returned him," the girl proudly told her parents.

Outside, the marabou stork pulled flesh greedily from the small carcass lying at its feet.

Out of sheer boredom I turned on the radio in my kidnapper's basement, only to hear that he had been arrested the day before.

I thought they were still searching for me, but then I heard my own voice saying how much I was glad to finally be found.

I could only watch and scream as the murderers held my little boy down and forced the slow-acting poison into his bloodstream.

Unable to take it anymore, I rip out the syringe and furiously look through my bag for his essential oils.

I started tearing up as I walked down the aisle to marry my future husband.

I just wish there was another way to regain my family's honor than marrying my attacker.

I was furious when I found out my daughter is a drug addict, I immediately took the drugs away and grounded her.

Doesn't she know there's no such thing as "depression" and you can find happiness in Jesus?

The new medication worked and the internal voices that always told me what to do went silent.

"Kill them all", I thought, and this time nobody argued back.

My bullies surrounded me, sneering and taunting as they yanked my cap off.

I cried and screamed, but they didn't stop as they moved to my other knee.

When I came home from war, my mother opened the door to me and said, "It's good to see both of you again."

Confused, I reminded her that my brother didn't survive, but then I heard his voice saying, "You can see him too?"

I tried to stifle my cough, before finally hearing someone say "The doctor will see you now"

I greeted the patient with a smile.

The prick who murdered my son is a mod on here.

\[removed\]

On our first date, and all she been talking about is her psychotic ex-husband.

All I can think about is God, my plastic surgeon is fucking good.

My company has created conscious AIs 47 times smarter than humans.

We can never learn too much, because they keep immediately committing suicide.

UPDATE: AITA for leaving after my husband broke my wrist for not cleaning?

He apologized, told me he loves me, and promised it wouldn't happen again, so I'm happy to report I am going back home!

I must admit, lucid dreaming really is as amazing as people say.

But after 2 years, i'd like to wake up again.

A guy just ran up to me while screaming that somebody had locked him in a basement, blindfolded him, and starved him for days.

You should’ve seen the look of absolute horror on his face when he recognized my voice.

"Here comes that rock-throwing little shit from up the street," the first bird said.

"I wouldn't worry--he's only got one stone," the second bird replied.

I gripped the diamond ring with my left hand and the grenade's pin with my right.

Whatever her answer, we'll be spending the rest of our lives together.

I screamed, ran out of my room, and yelled "Dad I saw a huge spider, can you come kill it?"

I hoped the man standing in my closet didn't notice that I saw him, or realize the fact that I was actually home alone.

After being forced to starve and live naked in the woods for years, my wife and I finally found the courage to steal some food from the man who had been torturing us.

I felt my heart sink as a thundering voice shook the Earth, saying "Adam, what have you done..."

"Do you see now there's nothing to be afraid of?" mom asked as she emerged from my closet.

"Yes mommy," I lied, noticing her mole was now on the left.

If the thing notices you, don't worry, there is a gun in the backpack in the kitchen.

However it only has one bullet, so make sure to aim for your *forehead* , just to be sure.

They say that everytime you learn somthing, a new wrinkle apears on your brain.

After some investigation, I was angry to find out that my students didnt learn anything from my lessons.

I've climbed Everest dozens of times but I've never made it to the summit.

I've begun using my own corpses as trail markers, attempting to reach the top before I freeze to death again.

I shined my flashlight over the cabinet of porcelin dolls.

Their pupils contracted.