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t3_2by1cx
|
AskReddit
|
Adults of reddit: Short of going to the pub/out to dinner, what do you do for fun with friends?
|
Hello, /r/AskReddit!
I have been tasked with finding out what grown-ass adults do with their friends for fun/recreation short of bar-hopping.
Many of my friends are in committed relationships/married, and within that group, some are pregnant. It's obviously not fun for the ladies to be in a loud pub or be surrounded by people who are drinking (especially when said ladies used to drink all of us under the table), so I'm wondering if you lot would be willing to share some things. Cost need not be a factor if it's fun.
We do potluck board game nights from time-to-time, but we sometimes run out of room if we're all packed in a tiny apartment. We also do mini golf and bowling, but even Cousin Roman gets sick of bowling after a while.
Thanks in advance!
|
After a long work week, what socializing do you do with friends other than going out to the bar or pub?
|
t3_xqn3h
|
relationship_advice
|
[21/f] in need of some general advice about myself and my (26/m) boyfriend
|
i'm going to try and keep this as short as possible. i love my boyfriend, and i know he loves me; that's not the problem or in question in any way. we have been together about 10 months, and have had a LOT of ups and downs in the last 5 or so. due to some things, he has lost some trust in me, and that's perfectly acceptable. i understand where he is coming from. we have talked about moving to arizona together in january '13. i have always thought i was a long term, committed relationship type of person, but as of late, i feel like maybe i'm not ready to settle down. i've thought of how it'd be to move by myself, and i'm not completely torn apart when i see myself without him. i feel like that indicates something.
i have a history of depression, anxiety, and self-mutilation that i'm not completely healed from, coupled with the fact that i recently learned that i won't be able to have kids without fertility treatment. i have lots of emotional baggage. i don't want to be a burden, but he assures me that he wants to work through it all together.
i guess i'm trying to find a way to be *completely* certain that i should be with him. he is aware of my swaying in certainty and i know it hurts him. i can't keep hurting him. if i'm not for him, i'd rather figure it out and just hurt him once more as opposed to stringing him along with some false hope.
there is a lot more to our relationship that i am not adding in here, for the sake of space and ease of reading; i'm just giving the highlights.
|
unsure if i'm ready for commitment due to personal issues and i want to do the right thing by him, since he has been there for me every moment.
|
t3_2ka2hx
|
dating_advice
|
How to check if you've gone too far without appearing insecure?
|
Somehow I feel bad for asking this, so I'll provide some background at the end.
I try to be more open/direct/aggressive (don't like that term), but sometimes I wonder whether I went too far. I could ask her, but then I'm not sure how to do that without sounding like a complete wuss.
For example I sent a short-story to a girl after chatting with her for some time on a online-dating site. Then I asked her about pictures of her wearing her self-made hats "in return". I phrased it slightly ironically, but I'm not sure if I pushed too far. She hasn't replied, but she mentioned earlier she's busy right now and didn't message that much before. So how do I know if I that was ok or not?
**[
|
] Asked a girl of pictures of her with self-made hats (her hobby). Unsure how to proceed since she didn't respond so far.
|
t3_342xlk
|
tifu
|
TIFU by entering "Hitler Did Nothing Wrong" into my math teacher's calculator (Advice Appreciated)
|
I'll keep it short and sweet.
So I was just messing around in class with my friends on Friday when I accidentally picked up the teachers calculator and began using it for the period unknowingly (she realized it was her calculator at the end and took it back from me quickly so I couldn't fix what I left on there). Me, being a le edgy edgelord decided to oh so hilariously enter the text into my TI-84 calculator:
HITLER
DID
NOTHING
WRONG
It got traced back to me and now the principal called my family and referring to it as a "serious matter". My parents think I fucked up my school career and are beginning to think I'm pro-Nazi.
Tomorrow, 4/28, I am going to speak with the principal about it. If you guys could help me out with advice on what to do that would be amazing because I'm extremely desperate.
|
I might get suspended or worse for writing dank memes into my teacher's calculator, advice to fix this is appreciated.
|
t3_vu3zb
|
relationship_advice
|
Boyfriend claims he has no emotions and treats our relationship as business-like, what do I do?
|
21f 23m 4 months
His ex broke his heart in september, we starting dating in March, he admitted to me later that he thought he was looking for a relationship, but not a "relationship" with emotions, but as in someone to do something with. He later said he cares about me and didn't expect to. Well, we both went home from college for the summer, and I won't see him for two months. He honestly seemed like he didn't care.
I saw him off at the train station and I was honestly trying to keep back tears and he seemed business-like. He sent me a text thanking me for "a lovely weekend" which he did when would say at the very beginning of our relationship. He said that since his ex broke up with him he doesn't have emotions. This is all stuff that has come out in the last couple of weeks in our relationship, and I'm feeling pretty hurt.
He gets annoyed when I bring up anything emotional, I sent him an apology email after a small row and he said "I've done all this blah blah blah trust stuff before, and I don't want to do it again" and I gave him a really long massage, doing his legs and back, hoping he rub my back for a bit and he did for all of 30 seconds, whilst telling me how he would rub his Ex's feet every sunday morning.
I feel like he is never going to get over her. Honestly, I feel like I want to break up with him, but I like him too much and he's such a kind and respectful guy. I KNOW that if he brought himself around to tap into his emotions he would be just amazing, but I don't know if he can do that if his ex hurt him that badly...
|
BF says he has no emotions, and that is why he doesn't have to worry about being emotional. Lacks affection in general, hung up on his ex.
|
t3_2c1fjz
|
relationships
|
I (24m) really screwed up with a girl (22f) who I have been dating. Would it be super weird to send one last message apologizing?
|
Basically, I screwed up. I tried to come off as someone I wasn't to impress her and it ultimately backfired and things fell through after the 3rd date. She basically just one day out of the blue I guess had it and blocked my number, Facebook, and Twitter. She wasn't completely perfect herself, but what I did was wrong/worse nonetheless.
I told the story to a friend who offered me her phone/Facebook to send her one last message apologizing and wishing her luck in the future. I don't want her back at all nor do I want a response, but it would make me feel so much better to get it off my chest. Is that weird?
We spoke for a good 2 months almost daily before this happened.
|
Don't know if apologizing to girl after she blocked me for a screw up would be a big no-no or not. I don't want her back but it would make me feel better to get it off of my chest.
|
t3_30egws
|
relationships
|
Me (21F). My boyfriend (20M) described another girl as "perfect" and I can't seem to get over it. Help? We've been dating two years.
|
My boyfriend and I have been together for two years, and nine moths of that were long distance. Early in our long distance period, around September last year, he was visiting me in my city.
We were on the subway together and I was telling him something then noticed he wasn't responding. I looked up and he was staring at a girl across from us. She was skinny, fit, and brunette. I'm skinny, but definitely not brunette, or as fit or traditionally pretty as she was. When we got off the train I went up the stairs, but I looked back and he was still on the platform, looking for that girl and watching her leave.
He kept trying to see her in the crowd as we were leaving, and I asked who he was looking for but he tried to play it off, so I said look I know that girl was cute but we really need to get going. He said, "I know I know I'm sorry but she was just PERFECT I have never seen a girl that perfect in my life. I mean she was beautiful." Then he did that appreciative whistle thing.
I let it slide at the time because we're very open about finding other people attractive, but something about the way he said it and the fact that he was so obvious about it bother me. Shortly after I found out that the girl from his previous school he was infatuated with looked very much the same (brunette, athletic, etc.)
I know it's silly, but this keeps popping up in my head and I still feel hurt by it. Should I feel upset or should I just try and let it go once and for all? We have an incredibly strong and loving relationship, I just can't seem to let go of this.
|
Boyfriend described another girl, who was nothing like me, as "perfect". It's been a while but it still bothers me. What should I do?
|
t3_3fix2f
|
relationship_advice
|
(Xpost from r relationships.) 19m(me) and two 18f.
|
Alright, so this is going to seem like the classic teen problem. I made some new friends this summer. Both girls.
Friend 1 and I hit it off very well. We became great friends and we hung out nearly everyday this summer. I started to like her but I decided it was hopeless when she started trying to get me to date friend 2.
Eventually, I told 1 I didnt think it'd work out with 2. I thought that was the end of it but we all hung out yesterday and at the end of the day the 2 were acting strange. Clearly keeping a secret from me. 1 was supposed to be spending the night at 2's house so I dropped 1 off.
2 asked me to come see something. 1 briefly suggested I should just go home. But then she changed her mind and told me to go inside. After them acting strange for a long time, 2 told me she really liked me and kissed me and I kissed back. 1 was in the other room and knew what was happening but apparently didn't think 2 would follow through.
Driving home, 1 texted me "you left me" and 2,immediately called and said 1,wanted to go home. I made a u turn and took 1 home. She was very upset in the car. She seemed like she was about to cry. Then she had me drop her at the corner of her street and she left. She texted me later saying "I have to apologize. I really appreciated everything 😳 . You're a nice person,, stay as young as you can.😇"
she's not talking to me now. I'm not sure what to do. Now I get the feeling she liked me too. And that sucks because I had a crush on her. I just assumed she didn't like me. I really hate myself right now and I feel like I've fucked everything up. I don't know what to do.
|
I thought my friend didn't like me but I kissed her friend she suggested i go after and she started reacting like she did like me. I have no clue what to do. I feel ashamed and stupid.
|
t3_4nv9yt
|
relationships
|
My girlfriend [22 F] told me [21 M] what engagement ring she wants and she'll be upset if it's not that.
|
My [21 M] girlfriend[22 F] and I have been together almost 2 years, and we talked about the future (marriage, family and whatnot) and she told me explicitly what engagement ring she wants, and said if she gets anything else she would be upset because it would show I don't know her. Marriage is not in the near future and we both agree on this because we're both barely out of college and want to focus on becoming real adults LOL, but the fact that she said she wants this ring to get married (and it almost sounded like a prerequisite to my ears) worries me, because to me it seemed like she values the ring more than us and our future (that actually kinda sounds ridiculous now) and it's a very expensive ring, at least more than the average ring.
I know she loves me but this attitude towards an engagement rings bothers me; do women typically choose the engagement ring? I guess I see the ring as something the guy picked to show how much he loved her and show what he thinks of her. I would almost definitely get her dream ring (depending on financial stability at that point of time) but the way she says it needs to be that ring makes me wonder. Am I being unreasonable?
|
My girlfriend says she would be upset if I pick any engagement ring that isn't the one she chose, and this concerns me.
|
t3_310c2y
|
relationships
|
Fiancé [27M] never happy with current job/career. I [28F] am unsure how else to help.
|
Fiancé and I graduated together 5 years ago and met working for the same company. I am still with the same company, two job promotions later, and he has already switched companies/positions two more times for being unhappy at work.
I have absolutely nothing against switching jobs or experimenting different paths, but I notice that he always starts these new adventures with a very positive attitude, like he can conquer the world--but around the 8 month-1 year mark, his attitude changes completely, he becomes negative, comes home very sad and quickly looks for other alternatives.
Whenever it happens, I can't help but think "We've been through this..." but have to be careful to not sound insensitive.
We were raised in two very different households. My parents were very strict with academics and always reinforced the "Be grateful for what you have, work hard and you will always achieve what you want!" His family, on the other hand, is very liberal and encouraging with all their kids following their passions and taking risks.
This is part of the reason why I think we work together so well. He is very encouraging and an incredible partner. I want to be the same, but when seeing him come home from work unhappy every day, full of criticisms about his work and co-workers, I can't help but think it might be an attitude thing. After all, everybody's job sucks. Don't they?
Please assist me in getting some perspective on whether I am too insensitive and need to be a more supportive partner or if I'm in the right to feel frustrated. Either way, we are in this together, so what are the ways in which I can help?
|
Fiancé quickly becomes unhappy a few months into his new jobs, unsure whether it is his attitude or I am just not supportive/patient enough.
|
t3_3nphnm
|
relationships
|
I'm [24M] very troubled by my girlfriend's [24F] extreme stress eating
|
My girlfriend is a law student and also works many hours at a very busy restaurant. Between school and work, she has little time for anything. She can't even go out on weekends sometimes she is so busy. The way she copes with this is really severe binge-eating the moment she comes home. I've seen stress eaters before but the amount she eats is horrifying, to the point where I think she has an eating disorder. I've seen her go through an entire thing of oreos, a large box of pizza, cartons of ice cream while going through homework. She eats until she's in literal pain and then goes to bed and crashes. She's on anti-anxiety medication but it's done nothing for her. This is slowly making her become fat, but I don't want to make it seem like that's my only issue with this, so I'm afraid of just stopping buying the foods she likes. I don't know how to approach this, she has all the reason in the world to be stressed but I don't know how to get her to deal with it healthily.
|
Girlfriend very stressed and busy with school/work, turns to the most hardcore binge eating I've ever seen, what do I do?
|
t3_2k7q7k
|
relationships
|
I [23 M] have been dating a girl [24 F] for about a month. She recently lost her younger sister, and I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do.
|
Hello! So I started dating a girl about a month ago. I discovered that her sister died in a car accident earlier this year. She is having a rough time with the loss of her sister, and tends to get very emotional at times. As a person, my initial instinct is to try to comfort her. However, I also have a feeling that this is none of my business and I shouldn't get myself too involved. I attempted to bring this up with her, though I just received a "just cuddle with me" response, and I didn't feel there was a defined answer.
Additionally, there are certain things that I naturally say, like "It'll get better", though these things tend to set her off a bit. I am noticing that she is dwelling on the death of her sister. She brings her up a lot in conversation, and in such a way where I have no idea how to respond. An example being "my sister used to love doing [insert activity here]".
What am I supposed to do? How do I handle this type of relationship (emotionally and what's my role)? I think I'm too new to the relationship to be the guy to do any of the consoling. I am well aware that the wounds are too fresh. Any thoughts?
|
Newly dating a girl who's having a hard time with the loss of her sister. What's my role? How do I handle her mood swings?
|
t3_1dqq6x
|
relationship_advice
|
Girlfriend(20/f) recently made out with another guy, and I'm(25/m) so unsure as to what to do. Help guys.
|
So reddit,
I'm coming to you because I need some advice. I've been with my girlfriend for 1 & 1/2 years. We're very much in love and have been living together for about 6 months out of necessity, as her previous roommate turned out to be a vile human being. Anyway, she went with one of her girlfriends out of town Friday evening and yesterday she tells me that she ended up in bed with her girlfriend and two other guys. The friend and one of the gents went off to have sex leaving my extremely inebriated girlfriend alone with the other guy. He kissed her and though she stopped it it wasn't immediate.
So what do I do? It absolutely breaks my heart to break up with her, but in some ways this confirms my suspicions that she needs time to just party, live care free, and do whatever she wants for a while(as she's only 20, and right in the middle of college). Being 25, I've had those days and have changed more between the ages of 19-24 than I ever thought possible, therefore I know she will too. To make matters worse we were getting ready to do the distance thing since I am moving for a new job.
Any ideas? Any help would be appreciated immensely.
Thanks
|
Girlfriend made out with another guy right before we get ready to have a distance relationship. With her being significantly younger I wonder if she needs time to grow up.
|
t3_1tz1cu
|
AskReddit
|
Keeping that crazy bitch away from my grandmother's funeral?
|
I'm using a throw away. I need advice on keeping an unwanted aunt (related by marriage) away from my grandmother's funeral.
My (ex)aunt (we'll call her Billie) is a child molester. She molested my niece and nefew when they were both under the age of 5. After my sister started recognizing the signs of abuse, Billie called DFS and the children were taken away. When my grandma was ill, my uncle volunteered to take care of her for a few months. By the third day, my grandma called to be removed from the house because "that crazy bitch Billie" was trying to kill her. She cheated on my uncle several times during their 32 year marriage. Billie finally left my uncle and has very little contact with my family for the past five years.
My grandmother passed and the funeral is on New Years Eve.
Billie has mentioned to a few family friends that she is planning to attend the funeral. The thought of having her there makes my blood boil. My mother is having a hard enough time with the loss of my grandmother. I don't want to subject her to the three ring family beat down that will occur if Billie shows up.
How can I keep this bitch away from my grandmother's funeral?
|
Aunt is a festering cunt. She want to come to my grandmother's funeral. I need help keeping her out.
|
t3_2qdilo
|
relationships
|
Me [24 m] with my [21 f] of two years, sad about fb photos.
|
I dated a girl for 2 years. As the title said. no names needed.
we dated each others best friends before we dated each other. it made it awkward at first but our love eventually blossomed.
long story short she broke it off at the end of November because of my emotional abuse and lack of trying.
again. long story short. I saw this morning on Facebook the guy whom she had been texting "as friends" sitting amongst the people I had called my family only two short months ago for christmas dinner.
I don't want to contemplate whether or not they are dating. quite frankly it's none of my business at this point.
it hurt though. it took my quasi okay christmas and completely ruined it. my heart rate rised and thankfully I was alone because I was visibly shaken.
I don't have any friends that I can turn to right now. it's Christmas anyways, who wants their day with my bogus self depreciation.
|
I saw my ex girlfriend on facebook with a new guy. it made me sad. any ideas on how I can get past this? should it bother me? am i just a self loathing pussy?
|
t3_2evov7
|
running
|
Running with shin splints, time to go see a Dr?
|
I'm in the Army National Guard, and when I went to basic training I got shin splints really bad. We didn't run that much after I left basic, but I have found that I was never able to run more than 3 times a week- that was my max, or I would be hobbling along for awhile after. I've dealt with that for over a year now, not being able to run more than 3 times a week- but now I'm really trying to kick up my training to cut my run time. I've done some research online about shin splints, and I found an article that told me that my tendons weren't strong enough to be running and gave a list of exercises to do weekly. I did them, and they felt a little better after a few weeks, but then I was right back to where I was. I've tried to change running style by striding out more, I've changed my shoes, I stretch before and after, and take 3, 200mg ibuprofen before a run if I remember (eases pain, not eliminates it) I'm starting to think I may have actually injured my shins at basic training because I can't even balance myself on my toes without my shin bones screaming in pain.
|
I'm training a lot and have had shin splints in the past. changed running style, shoes, and stretch before and after runs. Nothing helps. Time to see a Dr?
|
t3_2huypw
|
relationships
|
[18/m] My girlfriend [18/f] (who I have been dating for 5 months) is going to a university not of her choice but of her parents and is miserable. (More context inside) What can I do to make her life easier?
|
I didn't know where else to post this . Let me start by saying my girlfriend has some serious controlling parents. They choose her school and did not let her apply to any other schools of her choice.
On top of this they did not allow her to dorm there so now she has to wake up at 5 am everyday some days at 4 to drive with her parents (they won't get her a car) and then stay there till one of them can pick her up. Her parents are now saying they both don't want to drive so she will have to take the bus which means she'll have to wake up even earlier to get there.
She spent today which was like an orientation type thing hiding in the bathroom because the activities were separated into halls which she was not apart of since shes not dorming and then when I facetimed her when she got home she was sobbing and I was at a loss for words. She feels so helpless and lonely.
She wants to transfer to a school of her choice in two years but I don't know how well she will do at her current university of shes absolutely miserable and tired all the time.
Extra info: I'm dorming 15 mins away from her but I have no car. Moving out isn't really an option she has no where to go and has financial aid tide to her parents. Her parents don't know about me. More info can be provided if necessary.
|
My girlfriend is going to a university not of her choice but of her parents and is miserable. What can I do to make her life easier?
|
t3_31j6du
|
askwomenadvice
|
I (20/F) think I want to break up with my boyfriend (21/M), and I feel so guilty because there's really no good reason. I'm not even completely sure I want to.
|
Hi /r/askwomenadvice, I've commented here before and go on /r/askwomen frequently- using a throwaway because a fair amount of my friends IRL know my username.
I've been with my boyfriend for about 2.5 years now. We have a pretty solid relationship- we have a lot of shared interests, we go out on dates frequently, we have a good sex life, and we just really care about each other. There are some things we disagree on, but overall we fit well together.
But recently I've just had this niggling feeling that this isn't right. And it doesn't make logical sense at all, because I still love talking to him every day and I still want to spend time with him. And there are some days when I still do want to be with him, but other days I think I'd just be better off on my own. I don't think he's noticed a difference in my behavior, but I still feel like it's unfair to him to be internally flip-flopping.
I should mention that my parents also divorced earlier this year, which has been incredibly difficult and stressful for me to deal with. I think that may be contributing to how I'm feeling about this, partly because I've mostly been using my boyfriend as a crutch, and partly because it's hard being in a serious relationship after seeing a marriage of over 20 years end.
I guess I'm just looking for advice from anyone who can relate to any part of this. I'm not really sure how to proceed.
|
I'm not sure whether I want to remain in my relationship of 2+ years, despite there being nothing wrong with the actual relationship and me still caring about him. Recent parents' divorce may play a role, I just feel confused.
|
t3_14dax4
|
relationships
|
21[m] 20[f] not sure how to feel about things I saw.
|
I'm a 21 year old male and my girlfriend is 20. We've been dating for about two months.
I was sitting in on her Computer Science lecture with her. Her friend asked me for some help with a program, so he plugged in his USB in to my girlfriends laptop and I helped him debug it. We finished, and him and I were trying to figure out how to eject the USB (neither of us use Macs). So I was clicking on stuff at the top looking for an eject, when I clicked on what must have been notifications?
Anyways, I see some message notifications from Skype. They're all from one guy (a friend of hers from North Carolina, far away from where we live). One is saying something along the lines of Hey sexy... one says something about her making sure she doesn't wear too many clothes to bad, and lastly one saying they should play some game naked together over Skype.
This bothers me a lot, and I click on one. It opens the conversation, and I don't scroll through any of it but read her response. She ignores what he said and just kept talking about something they'd been discussing before. I'm pretty shaky at this point regardless and don't want to see anymore so I close the laptop and pass it back to her.
We finish the class and I bring it up with her once we're somewhere private. She gets really apologetic and says he always talks to her like that but she just ignores it. From what I saw that seemed like it was true. He was her best friend in high school and had to move away. Anyways we talk about it a bunch, can tell she is really sorry, and I believe her when she says nothing happens. She says she's going to delete him off of Skype (I don't say anything), and then she came over and we had a pretty nice night.
I know she's sorry about what happened and I don't think she'd let it happen again, but it's just eating away at me. I like this girl a lot and she likes me a lot, so I want to get over this. Maybe if I give it a few days.
|
Saw flirty messages to girlfriend, she doesn't flirt back, but doesn't try to stop them, apologizes to me (I believe her), but I still feel hurt. Advice?
|
t3_54n0iq
|
askwomenadvice
|
Undressing in front of open windows. No big deal or more to it?
|
My girlfriend (30/f) lives in the 4th floor of an apartment and less than 20 feet our the window is another building where you can see in 20 windows if you wanted - and vice versa.
She keeps her blinds open at all times and the way her room is situated she puts on (or takes off) underwear in front of one window and gets dressed (or undressed) directly in front of the other window. Even for sex, blinds open. Blinds open 100% of the time. Her living room windows also face the same way and she usually just wears panties to walk around in.
She says the open blinds aren't for her fun - just easier to not mess with the blinds. She says she doesn't really think much about it.
Doesn't add up for me... I'd prefer she acknowledge she likes the (potential) attention and move on. Right now it just feels like she doesn't want to tell me the truth - which really would be more fun to me!
Do you care about your blinds being open/closed? If not, do you care if someone can see you changing, etc.? Any excitement to it or just the way it goes?
|
My gf is naked in front of her windows all the time but says there's nothing stimulating about it - just easier not to mess with the blinds.
|
t3_34nl2s
|
relationships
|
Me [16 M] with my Girlfriend [17 F] of 3 years, I feel like it's time to end the relationship. Unsure of the way to do it
|
My girlfriend and I have been dating since I was in 7th grade and she was in 8th. We are in 10th and 11th grade now, respectively. Ages 16 and 17.
The time we spend together from then(2011) to now was not always the best. She drove a wedge between me and my mother and catalyzed me moving in with my father. She made me delete all the girls numbers from my phone because she thought id leave her. She made me cut all contacy with my friends. She had started flirting with some other boys and called us on a break in June 2013 which lasted to February 2014. During that time I fell into a deep depression and recovered but I have fallen into another round during the past few months.
To make things even harder on myself, I feel like I am responsible for not only my own well being but hers. She's threatened to do terrible things to herself if I have ever left and I can't willingly be the cause of something like that.
I've recently came to the conclusion that I need to end this relationship before I can't recover from it. She's hurt me too much in the past and I don't want to be hurt again. I need to focus on myself and battle my depression and make myself the best me I can be. She's not making me the best me I can be..and that needs to change.
My apologies for the rant/grammar mistakes. I'm currently on mobile and I am just rambling on in an emotional state
|
we both made mistakes in our time together but I feel like it's time for me to stop being with her and start focusing on myself and battling what I'm dealing with and improve myself as a person.
|
t3_2lcue8
|
relationships
|
I'm [M,23] and have had three of the closest people to me tell me they have been diagnosed with severe depression in the past week.
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Last week my girlfriend[F,24] came clean about spending a bit longer at uni then usual. She has been going to counseling and her counselor told her she needed to open up to somebody close to her. She has always had forms of depression starting from age 17 when she was told she was losing her eyesight, then a big downward turn when her first corneal operation caused her to lose 95% of her sight in one eye. We have gotten through it all quite well she has had counseling in the past so it's no worry to me that she is going again. What did surprise me is coming home from work and finding her crying in front of two boxes of paracetamol.
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2 Days later My best friend [F, 23] rang me to tell me she had been diagnosed with severe depression and was told to open up to somebody close. She has always been carefree and the idea of her suffering with depression has hit me harder then I thought it would.
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The night afterwards while visiting my mother [F, 51] she dropped the bombshell that she had been prescribed pills for her depression. We are sitting down tonight to talk more about it.
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I'm lost these people are the people i go to when I have problems but now I feel like I have nobody. How can I rant about my petty shit like Jane from work nicking my Pork and apple sandwich from the fridge again when these people have actual problems and i need to be there for them.
My girlfriend said I've felt distant for the past few days and I can feel it personally i'm just a bit lost and feeling like i'm watching myself in the third person. I need to find a way to kick myself out of this rut and be there for the people who matter to me.
Getting to the end of this feels more like a rant then a question. So i'm guessing a number of people here have had experiences with close family and friends with depression how do you be there for somebody in that way but make time for yourself ?
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3 of the closest people to me have severe depression and I need to be there for them but also find a way to be there for myself
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t3_22iybm
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relationship_advice
|
I'm [18/f] in a exclusive friends with benefits relationship (?) with a friend [18/m] and I don't really know what this is or what to do anymore.
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We met in university and this started off as a strictly friends with benefits relationship that went through a lot of bumps due to both of us falling for the other person but not communicating this to each other. (He told me he didn't like me at all, when he did actually, so I tried to get over it with rebounds and he hated me for it)
Since then, we've established that we were going to be exclusive but we wouldn't date. This basically means that we wouldn't hook up with other people but we wouldn't go on dates or expect very relationshippy stuff from each other. The issue is that I still feel like a piece of meat. Maybe I'm seriously just expecting way too much from whatever this is, but he basically only comes to me for sex and rarely just hangs out with me or talks to me as a person and as a friend. The only time he really treated me like something other than a slam piece to him is when he knew he was about to lose me for good. I'm just confused to what is happening and don't know what to do anymore. Should I just get out as soon as possible to save me the hurt? Am I being delusional about the situation and the relationship? Do I have a skewed idea of what this is?
Also, he is a genuinely good guy, and is very quiet at times so he isn't the type to fuck and chuck girls. He's only had one other relationship other than me. He just takes me for granted 99% of the time and I don't get it and it's tiring.
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my exclusive fwb treats me like a piece of meat and doesn't show any sign of liking me, which he said he did before, or attempts to be just my friend
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t3_v6x68
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dating_advice
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Really into her except her body
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This is my first post ever so here we go...Lets start by saying I really have only dated small, petite, girls my whole life(22) and well they are amazing. I'm 5'10, 145 pounds and athletic so I feel weird being with a girl that is larger then me and honestly I'm just not attracted to them. Fast forward to now, I have known this new girl for about a year now and we have lots of fun together(nonsexual), she can make any simple life task a joy. The downfall is she is about 30 pounds heavier then me and shorter. She is by no means ugly, I'm just into small girls. I'm sure plenty of guys would drool over her, just not me. So do I stop everything and try to friendzone her, or take the plunge date her and see if I can grow a taste for curvy girls?
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Small athletic guy only dates petite girls and now he is lined up to date a curvy girl. Can he grow into her?
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t3_xeqi0
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relationship_advice
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[22/f] My SO [24/m] is always making "helpful" little suggestions...
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This argument started yesterday because of our mirror in the bathroom that can extend off the wall, he came out of the bathroom specifically to tell me that I need to remember to put it back when I'm done using it, which he's told me many times before and 9 times out of ten I do, he just feels the need to remind me everytime it happens. There are many other instances where he does things to "remind" me to do stuff like throwing garbage directly into the bin with out a garbage bag in it if I forgot to put one back in when I took the old one out. How do you suggest I deal with this? He's driving me up the walls! I understand that I do forget things from time to time but he acts like he never does, these are little things that don't matter to me but seem to infuriate him. I just don't know what to say to him anymore without it starting a huge argument. I don't want to be a doormat and just "yes dear" everything he says. Advice?
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Boyfriend makes alot of "suggestions" for things I need to do around the house. Drives me nuts.
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t3_4ipt9k
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relationships
|
Me [29 M] with my girlfriend [26 F] 2 and a half years (with 2 month break last summer), her best friend is still holding grudge because I cheated and I would like to mend the rift because of how important she is to my girlfriend
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Okay, so last May I made a mistake and cheated. Not an affair, just some drunk make out with a girl I knew. It led me to re-evaluate things with my gf and we broke up. I told her about the cheating, and a couple months later we talked it over and got back together.
Since getting back together things have been even better than before because we were able to see what caused issues in our relationship that we never addressed. Mostly communication issues.
She has forgiven me, but her best friend still resents me for what I did and won't be with my girlfriend if I'm around. I know that this is causing my girlfriend pain that her best friend won't share in our relationship, and I'm wondering if there is anything I can do to mend that fence.
Her friend is a nice person who has been fun to hang out with before this all happened. Would it be inappropriate to write a letter? Email? Should I let sleeping dogs lie and hope that if the relationship continues to deepen and develop that eventually she'll come around?
Thanks!
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Year ago I cheated, two months later got back with gf, going strong since but her best friend won't hang out with us because she hasn't forgiven. Wondering if I should reach out or just let it be.
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t3_1g071j
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dating_advice
|
Unsure how to approach a new guy
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I'm a 23/f who has a less than stellar dating history. I just move across the country to my home city because I woke up one morning to my exboyfriend trying to choke me to death. Thankfully, I made it out of that awful situation and came home to reset myself. I didn't think I'd have any desire to pursue another relationship for quite some time, but 6 months after my last awful relationship, I think I'm ready.
When I first came home, I wasn't interested is anyone I knew from high school. I didn't keep in touch with anyone anyway. I created an okcupid profile, but left out my photo because (1) I didn't want anyone from high school finding me and (2) I had tried online dating before and was trying to keep the "Hay sexii call me xxx-xxx-xxxx" messages to a minimum. I did meet one guy who I was extremely interested in. He is an actor and was traveling with a Broadway production, but has since come back in town. Our first day talking online, I had decided to delete my profile because I was really getting nowhere with it. I gave him my facebook and we have talked a few times since then.
I am obviously extremely paranoid about finding a new potential partner, so I have cyber stalked the shit out of him. Facebook, google, you name it. Even background checks. He comes out clean. Not only that, he's an extremely stand up dude from what he's told me.
I'm so nervous that I don't even know how to approach him to maybe grab drinks or a coffee. I'm usually an extremely confident person who doesn't have issues with much, especially men. Any tips on how to calm my nerves and see if this guy wants to meet up with me?
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Exboyfriend tried to kill me, made it out mostly unscathed, unsure how to feel comfortable approaching a seemingly awesome dude.
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t3_1f7va9
|
relationships
|
I (M20) am trying to get my belongings back that I left at her (F20) house.
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Girlfriend two months shy of 2 years just left me. She had said that she was no longer happy with me and wanted to explore other options she had. I poured my heart into the relationship but I just blinders on and did not see my own faults that would cause the down fall. And here I am now.
Originally we both said that we could remain friends(this would take time for both of us to come to terms with the breakup). The sticky part being that she has a few articles of my clothing and some other artifacts that belong to me but have accumulated at her place over time. And I would like to get them back. What is the best way to approach this? I have talked to her a few times since the break up but that was to hope that she would not leave me. Needless to say that did not happen.
I just want my belongings back and to try and deal with this the best I can. I do not want to destroy any possible chance of friendship that could be salvageable out of this.
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Broke up but want my clothing and misc items back that I did not give her but left at her house last time I saw her. What is the best way to get my belongings back?
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t3_3r6ovp
|
tifu
|
TIFU by asking the price of a Wii
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TIFU happened about 8 years ago
My family and I went on a vacation in Hong Kong and while we were there my siblings wanted to buy a Wii cause it was cheaper there. So when we were there about to buy it we couldn't decide which sibling should ask how much the Wii was. So me being forgetful, I forgot that we weren't in our home country anymore so I went up to the register and asked "Tag pila ang Wii?"("How much is the Wii?") and they cash register was just like "Huh?" so I repeated it until I realized I wasn't in my home country anymore. Worst part my entire family saw the whole thing.
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Wanted to buy a Wii in Hong Kong, Spoke in another language, Embarrassed myself in front of my family.
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t3_jbtwt
|
travel
|
Has anyone traveled SE Asia during monsoon season?
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So, I have a working holiday visa for Australia. The overall plan is to fly to Melbourne, travel up the east coast and settle in Brisbane.
Since I'm going to be down in that part of the world, I would love to go visit SE Asia as well. The only problem is that by the time I make it to Brisbane, I'm going to be very low on funds. So the idea is that I will work and save for ~6 months, which means beginning traveling around May.
Of course..this is the start of monsoon season for the peninsula. So my question is (also
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)....how shitty is it if I was going through Cambodia, Vietnam, Laos, etc. May-June-July?
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t3_ulgww
|
needadvice
|
How to convince my dad to let me buy a new laptop?
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I legitimately need a new laptop. I'm currently using an HP from 2005, and this thing has too many problems to count as well as it being too old to handle some programs. I'm planning on buying an Alienware M14x laptop, ~$1,300. I have the money for it right now, the only thing standing in my way is my father. He does not understand me and my level of need for a new, powerful laptop. He thinks spending that much on anything video game related is insane. I'm going to buy it eventually, with or without his permission. I'm scared though that, if he's not okay with it, he will do the same thing he did to the xbox I bought years ago: smash it to pieces. I'm 19 now, I'm not some kid who's about to legitimately waste a lot of money. I have put a lot of thought into this. I know it's a gaming laptop, but I do have a life outside of my room. I'm going to be using this new alienware for gaming, but also for music production. So does anyone have any ideas on how to make him come around? Thanks!
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I'm buying an Alienware laptop. My dad hates technology, might kill me if I get it. How do I make him okay with it?
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t3_gyee5
|
AskReddit
|
Straight men, and even those who might be homophobic, what should I do? (No, I'm not asking for crush advice.)
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Okay, so the story is, I have a friend that I met last fall, who I've become pretty good friends with. I, myself, am bisexual (open to most of my family and old friends). I really enjoy this friend's company and companionship, and he's a really great person. I don't however have a crush on him, or want to start a relationship with him.
Now, my friend has shows slight homophobic tendencies by avoiding male-on-male contact of most types, freaking out a little when my other male friend was cuddling with his girlfriend on the same couch, and his hand ended up accidentally resting on his lap. He's also made it known that he's straight several times. (He does not know, at all, that I'm bisexual, though.)
Now, my question is, should I tell him. I would really like to keep this guy as a friend, because a lot of my friends have moved out of town once college was done, and we both enjoy many of the same activities and get along quite well. It would be pretty shitty to lose him as a friend, but on the same hand, I don't want to end up freaking him out if it were to come up randomly. But, since I don't have plans to make any moves on him, I don't really think it's something I should actually make a deal out of and just deal with it when he finds out/realizes.
I've left little hints here and there by using non-gender specific labels for ex's, regardless of gender, but that's about it.
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I have a straight friend, I'm bisexual, not wanting a relationship, just friendship anyway. Should I come out to him?
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t3_1rilum
|
relationships
|
Me [27F] with my boyfriend [21 M] of 3 months, are bums in the morning together. How do you motivate to get the hell out of bed in the AM, with a partner?
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I know this is a ridiculously silly question but it's becoming an issue...when I sleep alone, I have no problem waking up early, sometimes before the alarm, and getting my day going. Same for him.
When we sleep together, which is becoming more and more frequent, we seem to destroy each other's resolve in the morning and will choose to stay in bed until like 9:30 just cuddling/sleeping. Later on the weekends. In our sleepy states of minds, we both just say ehhh fuck it to our alarms DAY AFTER DAY.
We talk about it at night - ok, tomorrow we WILL get up when we said we would. Alarms go off, get turned off, heads under covers and before you know it we're both like OH SHIT I gotta run!
Again, I know this is super silly and definitely a FWP. Did anyone else go through this phase? Does anyone have tips or tricks for climbing out of a warm, soft bed with the person you like most in it?
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Boyfriend and are bums together in the morning. Need to figure out how to get our lazy asses out of bed at a reasonable AM hour.
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t3_2bpxyp
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relationships
|
I [M] am a 22 year old virgin. I've been in a few relationships but never had sex. I recently had a small connection with a girl and she seems to like me but I really just don't care all that much. Should I pursue her just in hope of not being a virgin anymore?
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I've had a few girlfriends and had a few hookup/make-outs with girls. I've hit doubles and plenty of triples but never actually scored a run. I could give an absurdly long explanation of my social ineptitude and how this led to accidentally breaking up with my second girlfriend, but that wouldn't really matter.
My current dilemma came about when I met a girl at a party of one of our mutual friends. We got along fairly well and while drunk I really wanted to hook up, though this never was able to come to fruition. We both slept at our friends house and in the morning she still seemed to be excited about me, but I was less enthusiastic. While I thought her personality was alright and I was somewhat physically attracted to her, she really just didn't have any qualities that make me excited about a girl.
This got me thinking... should I pursue this girl just for the sake of it? A lot of guys would probably be pretty desperate in my position, but I get along with myself enough to feel okay about not having a girlfriend or many friends for several years.
What do you think?
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Met a girl who likes me but I don't really care about her. Should I coldly pursue losing my virginity just for the sake of it?
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t3_1ec7al
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relationships
|
[31M] - Girlfriend [24F] wants me to pay for everything.
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Dear Reddit, I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for about a year and I'm about to move into an apartment with her. In discussing how we're handling bills, she wants me to pay for all of the rent, and all of the bills. In return, she will buy all of the groceries. Her reasoning is that I make a lot more money than her (she makes $44,000 & I make $77,000). I've been trying to be nice about this, but I have $14,000 of credit card debt that I'm trying to get out of and I don't think it's fair to have to pay for everything.
Now, I'm not a cheap-ass. I pay when we go out on dates, and I buy her nice things. I just feel like she's being totally unappreciative. What do you think is fair?
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Moving in with GF. She wants me to pay for everything. I make more, but so what? She should have to help out too.
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t3_3fsbu4
|
Advice
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Pets/Animals: Will Daily Walks and Other Exercise Extend my Dogs Lifespan?
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When I was 3 years old, my dad bought me and my sister a dog. His name is Novak and we were in love instantly. Novak is a 130-lb Chocolate Lab and is a very passive dog. He didn't bark often and was very well-behaved. My dad, sister and I have enjoyed every moment with him. So, fast forward 13 years later...
7 months ago, Novak started having some health problems. He couldn't stand up without it being a strenuous exercise, he couldn't help but panting nonstop, and he got really lazy. We didn't take him to the Vet because, at the time, he could still move and eat. It was a scary time and it was pretty emotional for me. After a month, he must have felt better and was able to move a lot easier, but was still very lazy and laid down nearly 24/7.
Recently, about 3 months ago, my dad has been through a crazy health-phase and it has really benefitted him, and Novak. My dad is walking 7 miles a day with Novak. He has been breathing a lot easier and is constantly pushing my dad to go on walks and everything has really fallen into place. My question is: Will these walks reduce the chance of Novak dying early? Will it prevent another scary situation?
Thanks for reading!
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My 13 year old dog had health problems, but overcame them. My dad has been taking nearly 10-mile daily walks with him, will these walks help my dog prevent more health problems?
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t3_zbtxf
|
dating_advice
|
I[20m] have had a crush on a [21] girl but i dont know if she feels the same way
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so i met this girl about 2 months ago at a party. she is really cool. we have SOO many things in common. the most i have had with another girl. the problem is that when i met her, she wasnt living close by so when we were talking a lot it was over text. i later threw some parties and she came to them which was cool but nothing happened. for the past two months now i have been crushing on her pretty hard and i feel like its obvious. but now that she is close now, i try and say like oh we should watch a movie or oh i need to come back over and finish that movie. but nothing has happened and we have NEVER hung out just the two of us.
now this past weekend my friend has been having a shitty past couple months and when we hung out he got drunk and pretty much told me he liked her a lot too only they had just met. i feel like since so much time has passed with nothing happening between me and her that she has lost/ has no interest and that i should step aside and let my friend have a win
how should i approach the next conversation/ encounter with her?
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met girl at party that have same interests. past two months crushing on her hard but have never hung out. what do i do?
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t3_1cwhhm
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relationships
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Fiancé [26m] lied to me [26f]
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Yikes, where to begin. Today I was innocently looking through my fiancé's sent email looking for a file he sent to me when I found pages and pages of email responses to random girls on craigslist for casual sex. He included nude pictures of himself. I was absolutely devastated. He says he never has, nor ever wanted to do anything with these women, just get dirty pictures from them. I do believe on this.
Once he even made up a whole story that someone hacked his computer and found a naked video he made of himself to give to me and was threatening to share it for money in case I found a video of him online. Turns out he was naked skyping with someone and they recorded it and were blackmailing him. More lies.
This all comes as a huge shock to me because our sex life is/was our biggest problem. He almost never wanted to have sex with me or let me do oral even though I begged to do it almost every day. He claimed he just didn't know what turned him on or that he was never in the mood.
We've been living together for 4.5 months, have thousands in nonrefundable deposits for the wedding... Before this he was absolutely wonderful. So sweet, kind and supportive. Our only issues were in the bedroom. Otherwise things were terrific. Since we were together we have always stated we had one very clear rule: 100% honesty. I was 100% honest with him about everything, and I thought he was with me... And regarding all that sex stuff- I am VERY open. I believe that monogamy is torture for males and am ok with an open relationship. The key is communication and trust. He also told me he had a porn addiction before we met, but when I asked about it he said since we met he almost never looked at it.
Where do I go from here? He has completely broken my trust and lied apparently many times to me. He says he feels like absolute dirt and promises to stop, just anything to get me back. I am devastated, I can barely move/eat/anything. I feel like there is a hole in my stomach and my heart has been ripped out. Should I stay or should I go?
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Found lots of emails from fiancé to strangers online for casual sex, he says he only wanted dirty pics from them nothing more. I don't know what to do.
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t3_11ny5i
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legaladvice
|
Need a way to contest executor/benficiary of estate. KY
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Here's the deal. My best friend and co-worker has passed away, and it's been a long time coming. A while back we had a typed letter head with his signature going similar to what follows:
I, InternetLawyerUp's co-worker, leave InternetLawyerup, the executor of my estate to be split up to my nieces and nephews upon their 18th birthday. Signed, "ILU's co-worker's signature here" Notarized by "ILU's other co-worker"
Now, he has passed away, and we have been told that since there are not two written witnesses on the document declaring the executor, that it is invalid, and the money goes to the next of kin, his drug head brother, whom he hated. It is a well-known fact that they despised each other, and that not a penny was to be left to him. His brother's track record is anything but clean, and I MUST find a way to either validate this contract between the decedent and myself.
I can provide any details that are necessary and will attempt to do anything that is legal and fight this tooth and nail until the end.
Also, the state which the is happening in is Kentucky.
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Friend died. Appointed me executor. Contract didn't hold up. Druggie brother to get money. ??????? ?
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t3_or8qa
|
AskReddit
|
Was I wrong Reddit?
|
Some background: Derp and Derpette have been dating for about a year now. Lately Derpette has come to me multiple times upset that Derp is flirting with his ex's and other female types over facebook. When she confronted him, he would post, and then delete the status before she got back onto her computer (they live together).
Derpette noticed this was happening via her mobile newsfeed, and was very distraught. Fast forward to today, my real life cake day. Right before I go over to Derp and Derpettes, I see him posting on a girls wall about how she should have kissed him, etc. I screen-cap this, and text it to derpette after she tells me to at their house.
Derp finds out I sent her the image, and then hides the beer he bought me for my birthday. (Okay, he bought it, whatever.) Then loudly in the room where everyone else is as I come out of the bathroom I hea him calling me a piece of shit and a dickhead. I feel uncomfortable, and tell one of our mutual friends at the party that I'm leaving. He tells me he bought me a bottle of Smirnoff and to take it, so I do and leave.
We live in an apartment complex, so I duck out the back emergency exit to go in the one at my wing, but its locked so I go through the back door into the lobby. Then I meet Derp and our mutual friend Herp, and one of our friends wives. He says "I forgot to tell you happy birthday, and also go fuck yourself you piece of shit!"
I checked my facebook at Derps house and forgot to log out. He then posts on my facebook about how I am jealous of their relationship and tried to ruin it by lying and a bunch of other shit. So I ended all my active facebook sessions and came here.
Did I do the right thing Reddit?
[The Picture](
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My buddy is probably cheating on his girlfriend, and she knows. I sent her a picture showing him flirting via facebook and he flipped.
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t3_434idj
|
relationships
|
Me [23 M] and my friend/interest [21F] have been chatting for a while, I just want to have sex and nothing more, how do I communicate this to her.
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So she's the daughter of my father's friend, we met first when we were young (13?), I think she's liked me since then. When I joined college, we started texting, and she told me that she liked me. Me being the dickhead that I was told her no impolitely. This was 6 years ago. We stopped talking for a while after that, but she had been texting me intermittently. Last summer, she visited my city, and we had arranged to meet, but she cancelled and postponed the meeting to the next day, but I couldnt meet her because I had my final exams. Then two months later she visited my city again, this time for an internship (month long), and she texted me again and we arranged to meet up, but she was being too clingy and i got creeped out so decided against it. We hadn't talked since then, until tonight, when she texted me again. I am usually very polite to her. I just wanna have sex with her, and nothing more. How do I communicate this to her? We're both in India, a conservative place, so I'm not sure if she'd be okay with just sex. But if she's not, that is fine with me. In any case, I dont want any kind of relationship other than friendship. I am a virgin, and I think she might be too. On her facebook she's been posting " no valentine's date" memes. so I know she's single.
|
A girl who I think has liked me for a long time, and is a bit clingy. I want to have sex and nothing else with her, how do I communicate it to her without offending?
|
t3_2cj3ps
|
relationships
|
Me [27 F] with my brother [39 M], can't handle his treatment of women anymore. At my wit's end, what can I do? [UPDATE]
|
[Original Post] Did it on my main instead of a throwaway, remedied that.
So, I got the kids away from him yesterday and I talked to their mother. The kids are going to be allowed with me, but they are not allowed to be with my brother, Jack, anymore. She already knew what was happening, but was allowing her children to be there anyway because she wanted them to see that she was not making lies up about their father.
I always thought it was a blind rage that caused him to do this, but my nephew (14,) let's call him Adam, told me otherwise yesterday. It's calculated.
Adam told me Jack would take his girlfriend (Jen, 44) into another room, shut the door, and turn up the TV. Adam isn't stupid and knew what was happening.
Since I have the kids squared away:
My next step is to get Jen out of this relationship. I'm going to contact her daughters to attempt to stage some sort of discussion while my brother is at work. Jen owns the house that they are living in, but it's going into foreclosure because of a temporary lay-off that left her unable to pay the mortgage (and Jack wouldn't help, of course.)
Jack will be homeless and vehicleless if Jen throws him out. I have already talked to my family, and we will NOT be loaning him any more money or vehicles (he had my car for awhile at one point, but when it died, he scrapped it and kept the money. I have a new car.) He cannot stay here, either.
I do not care if Jack knows I am behind this push. My question is: Should I contact a lawyer before all of this starts? I know that law enforcement will need to be called to have Jack removed from Jen's. How will I protect myself from Jack's rage?
|
Kids are away from their father now. The mother already knew what was happening. Starting an exit plan for Jen. Do I contact a lawyer before everything starts? How do I protect myself and my family from Jack after the fact?
|
t3_gk7ak
|
AskReddit
|
Internship as a purely summer job
|
I'm currently a student finishing up my accounting degree this December. Upon graduating, I am planning on moving a few states further south from where I currently live to get into a little warmer winters.
I am having an interview for a internship coming in the next few weeks close to home. I would like to get this internship for a few reasons including being able to stay with my parents (last summer I worked out of town pretty much the entire summer). The problem is that because I don't want to stay local, I'm only looking at this internship as a summer job, not a full-time option. However, I feel I have a smaller chance of getting the position if I tell this firm that I am not planning on staying around locally after I graduate. Is it unethical if I tell them I haven't entirely decided where I plan on living (I've narrowed it down to further south but by no means figured out a city)? Or is it even entirely negative that I'm not expecting to turn this into a full-time position?
I still have the option to take the summer job that I had last summer, but it's my last summer I'll have off and would like to spend it around home before I move away to start my career.
|
To be ethical, what should I disclose when interviewing for an internship that I have no plan on turning into a full-time position?
|
t3_14tstr
|
relationships
|
Tips for feeling closer in a LDR?
|
When my boyfriend (26) and I (22) first started dating (about 8 months ago), we were 40 minutes apart. We worked in the same city, though, so I got used to seeing him fairly often.
Now he's moved for school and lives about an hour and a half away. I know that's not far compared to a lot of long-distance relationships. We get to see each other every couple weeks. Not that bad, I know.
I just feel like the only time I actually talk to him is when we're physically together. When we text, he'll answer monosyllabically and the conversation seems to hit a wall. Same with IMing. On the phone, we'll talk for maybe 15 minutes, then he'll say he needs to work on something. I've tried suggesting skype, and he never wants to (even though I know he spends a lot of time on the computer). He texts me to say he misses me all the time, but I feel like mutual loneliness is the only thing we talk about when we're not together.
I'm starting to feel like I only have a boyfriend on the weekends I drive down to see him. When we're together, I feel completely in love. We talk all night. But when I'm home, I just feel like I'm missing something. It's like all that happiness from love fades when I have hardly any contact with him. When he moved, he told me he'd be perfectly fine with the distance; he still is, I think. But I feel alone.
I wouldn't say I'm a super needy partner, but this is hard.
Anyone have any suggestions on what might help?
|
I'm 22, my SO is 26. Long-distance relation, very little communication when we're not together. Help me, please.
|
t3_409dg1
|
relationships
|
Me [17M] met a cute girl [18F] at a party and don't know how to ask her out.
|
Went to my friend's birthday party and met a cute girl there who I have never seen before, who was my friend's friend from school, and we kinda hit it off.
So I was chatting a lot with this girl and cuddling up with her on the couch while we watched tv with everybody, however we kinda usually get on top of eachother and really close so that might not mean that much. We talked a lot and I cuddled her for most of the night while holding hand and afterwards drove her back home for safety reasons. But I kind of messed up the goodbye and left a bit quickly.
Right now I was thinking of asking her out, but I met her that night for the first time and thought that was kind of weird but I have her number through a chat. The problem is that I'm not a hundred percent sure how to open a chat with her and guide the conversation to asking het out to a date and need help with that.
|
met a girl at a party, I think we hit it off, but I don't know how to ask her out.
|
t3_uet83
|
AskReddit
|
I saw a woman slap her daughter across the face in public. What should I have done?
|
As I was walking home with some friends I stopped by a bus stop to speak with another friend of mine. At that bus stop there was an older woman who (up until five minutes later) did seem to be someone to pay attention to. As I'm letting my friend use my phone, I hear the woman begin to yell, at first I though she may have been speaking into the phone. Out of the corner of my eye I see a girl who goes to a middle school down the street from my high school cross the street and I figure out that the woman at the bus stop was yelling at her.
The girl crossed the street and started talking to her mother who began to scold her. I wanted to intervene but I didn't know what to say or felt that I had the right to do so, I did not know what they were having an argument over but I could tell by the tone of each person's voice that the daughter sounded as if she was defending herself and the mother was scolding her.
My friend gave me my phone back and my other friends called me over so I could walk with them which made me feel very relieved that I had an excuse to walk away from the bus stop. As I was walking away with my friends I heard a loud *SLAP* and my friends and I looked back and saw the daughter with her hands over her face as she was crying.
My first instinct was to walk over to her and I asked her "Hey do you need help with anything? do you want me to call the police or anything?" And she tried to say something which I couldn't make out and she shook her head and she went back to her mother as she continued to scream at her. I could not think of much to do with this situation and felt that it would be rude to continue watching so I walked away.
|
A woman slapped her daughter in public, I tried to console the daughter as she was walking away from her mother and I offered to call the police for her but she then walked again towards her mother and I did nothing.
|
t3_qh1y5
|
AskReddit
|
I'm so upset right now. I have a question for you about the police.
|
So I just had a pretty upsetting experience with the police, and I want to get Reddit's opinion on it, especially since all my housemates disagree with me.
So I'm at a party, my second year of college, and I'm having a great time, being generally pleasant to everyone there. After about 2 hours (around midnight) people start filing out since the cops showed up and are breaking up the party. Since I'm drunk and forgetful, I walk out of the party holding a 40 (it's only about 1/8 full).
As I'm filing out, single file, in order just like everyone else, this is the dialogue that takes place between me and the cop.
Cop: (seeing my 40) Are you stupid?
Me: (Offended) no....
Cop: What's in that bottle?
Me: (Obviously Offended) Uhh.. water
Cop: Put the fucking bottle on the ground and get out of here.
Now, I know that the cop let me off easy. I get this. He could have easily arrested me, but that is the exact same thing that I have such a problem with. He could have EASILY arrested me, yet here he is belittling me (calling me stupid) and swearing at me (leave the fucking bottle). I believe that this is an inappropriate way for a police officer to act. My housemates disagree with me, so I am turning to reddit for support/general information. So what do you think about this? (sorry this is so long)
|
I was accidentally but obviously breaking a minor law, and a cop calls me stupid and swears at me. Is this an appropriate way for a police officer to act? Why or why not?
|
t3_xmdw5
|
relationships
|
Rough spot with gf
|
My Gf and I are 18 been together for a year and 4 months, and we have hit a difficult spot in our relationship. As we are both heading to college at the end of summer, we agreed to take a two-month break to get settled in our respective schools and see whether we were best for each other. Both of us were fine with this decision.
Increasingly, over the past two months, my gf has become very concerned with her body image. She has been unable to really exercise for the past year for medical reasons and had gained some weight. However, in the past few months she has been biking and walking everywhere and she has lost some of that weight back and she looks great. However, her worries persist and it has become very difficult to try and comfort her about her insecurity. I feel that any effort to complement her and help her feel better is rejected.
Last night I told her that this was becoming difficult for me and it was really hurting me to be refused. She said that she was being too clingy and this morning sent me an email telling me that she felt that she wants to change, but she doesn't feel that she will get the support to do so from me. She said if I want to help, then I should call her later.
I don't know what I can say, because I feel that she may misinterpret it as me trying to push her away and not supporting, when it was difficult and actually hurt for me to help her and be rejected
|
gf has some image problems, but looks amazing. Having trouble helping her as her view of her body has become increasingly worse and rejects my opinion, need help on how to comfort her
|
t3_4qcefs
|
personalfinance
|
Interested in investing in my retirement but don't know where to start. I currently have a financial advisor, but I want to invest my on my own because of fees. I heard good things about John Boggle/Vanguard. Any advice or experiences is greatly appreciated.
|
Hi,
I believe that investing in something is better than doing nothing, so I've been working with a financial advisor.
I've expressed interest in doing my own investing in Vanguard Index Funds but he talked me out of it. Investing is not my thing and I don't want to screw up so I leave that to someone else, but something tells me that may not be the best decision.
A lot of personal finance books always emphasize on investing.
I am willing to learn but I don't know where to start.
I like John Boggles philosophy of not trying to beat the market.
I have friends who have index funds but also invest in other things to make a more balanced portfolio. I don't understand why, but thats what I love to learn.
I also love the concept of Social Responsible Investing. I don't want to own stocks (or have a fund that has Tobacco) in Tobacco companies even though it might be more profitable. Can this go in alignment with John Boggle's philosophy.
|
I want to eventually phase out my financial advisor and know where my money is going, save fees, and have money for retirement. I want to buy and hold rather than actively trade.
|
t3_2abqqu
|
relationships
|
Me [27 M] with my fiancée [27 F] of 7 years; do you ever fully get over cheating from a long time ago?
|
2 years into our relationship, she made out and got felt up by a guy at a wedding. I did not see it coming at all and found out about it a few months later.
I broke up with her immediately and it wrecked both of our worlds. We had 6 months of back and forth conversations where she would often take my verbal abuse over her cheating. I got over it by believing that she had simply gotten too drunk and it'd mixed with her antidepressants to impair judgement. I've never bought the excuse that someone gets too drunk but I have seen how alcohol mixed with her Meds and it was like she was a different person. This does not absolve her of responsibility and she paid for it with her own suffering and the awful things I said at the time.
Since that incident, she had given up drinking. I've always been one to believe once a cheater, always a cheater and would tell a friend in a similar situation not to give a second chance but I talked it out with some friends of mine who we're supportive of me and most asked if I saw a future and if I could forgive, to try to fix it.
She always had been and still is essentially the ideal girlfriend - loving, thoughtful, etc. Since the first year after the incident, I've largely forgotten about it or at least put it out of my mind
Last night however I had a dream where she had written some journal detailing how she cheated and gotten away with it and basically tricked me into marrying her. I've never had that thought once until now. I haven't thought about the incident for 5 years. Our wedding is coming up in 3 months and I honestly have not had cold feet about it at all. Is it possible wedding stress just caused my mind to go this way?
This dream just really shook up my mind and I haven't been able to sleep since 2 am
I thought I was beyond this and now it feels like I just went through it all over again
Will I get over this?
|
fiancée cheated 5 yrs ago, reconciled, long forgotten cheating brought back my subconscious, does it get better?
|
t3_tc1qd
|
AskReddit
|
How do I buy a printable iTunes gift certificate without installing iTunes?
|
**The short story:** I don't want a physically mailed gift card, I want one I can print out. I don't have iTunes (DO NOT WANT TO INSTALL IT), nor do I have an iPad, iPhone, or iPod, or iWhatever. Any solution?
The long story: I want to get my stepmom [Faerie Solitaire Mobile] for Mother's Day, because I think she'd really like it. But, I can't gift THAT without installing iTunes. So, I figured I would get her a gift card. BUT, the Apple store will only let me buy a physical card to be mailed. I don't want to mail it to her because I already have a nice card to send to her that I figure I could enclose a printable gift card with. And if I get a card sent HERE first, it will be too late to mail to her. The only way to PRINT a certificate seems to require iTunes, for some stupid reason.
|
APPLE, I'M TRYING TO GIVE YOU MY MONEY, BUT I REFUSE TO INSTALL ITUNES!
|
t3_ys15q
|
relationships
|
Friend and I had a fallout. Not about love but need help.
|
Just wanna know if I'm the one in the wrong here.
Here's our text message conversation:
Me:"Friend"
Friend:What
Me:Why don't you guys invite me to anything?
Friend:What?
Me:You guys never ask to play video games or hang out or anything
Friend:So?
Me:So why don't you guys invite me to anything?
Friend:Because big ass **** d**k
Me:Am I too annoying or something?
Friend:I just told you why
Friend:Alope, just shut the f**k up
Me:What the fuck "friend"
Friend:What do you mean?
Me:Whenever I bring up something about you guys being a**holes and you know you're in the wrong you try to make up answers and pin it on me
Friend:I don't speak adult
Friend:and were not in the wrong to not invite you
Me:Whats that supposed to mean? And I'd just expect my friends, if you still think of me that way, to invite me to shit
Friend:Stop being a little bitch alope, we are your friends, grow a pair you d**k bitch
Me:"Friend" you're such an asshole it hurts. Im lonely as fuck and you guys don't do anything with me except talk at school. I try to bring it up and you call me a p***y. That's not what a friend does. You're an asshole f you don't change you're gonna have a shitty future
Friend:If you think were such assholes, hang out with someone else
|
I asked my friend why he never hung out and we got in a large fight with him calling me a pussyy and told me to grow a pair. Were both 15 and have been friends for about 5 years.
|
t3_2yoo6e
|
tifu
|
TIFU by telling my friend he needs to see a doctor.
|
Not today, a few months ago, but the real fuck up happened last night.
My buddy (We'll call him A, fitting because he name starts with an A) has for a long time been having severe anxiety. It all started when we first met a few years ago. He had to stop smoking weed and started smoking that fake "legal" shit (At the time) I don't know if it's still legal in some states.
Well smoking that shit, and poor diet lead to him having heart palpitations and panic attacks over simple things as ingesting one or two beers. He would drink a glass of wine and start feeling "the fear".
I let him know that my unprofessional opinion is that he was having panic attacks. I use to suffer from them, and they seemed similar. So in true friend fashion, I tell him to go see a doctor about it.
Well he finds the most pill farming doctor (Not on purpose mind you) and the doc agrees that it is severe anxiety. So he prescribes BARS of xanax. The 5mg. At like 90 a month, and he takes them, right down to the prescription. Which leaves him happy half the day, and zombie the other half.
The first few weeks we start going back out, and he is back to my old light hearted friend again. Eating spicy feed which he use get attacks from the heartburn itself. (I've never had it that bad so I thought the high dose might have been necessary). But still, I think to myself this is too high a dosage and NINETY at that? In a month? But I let it go.
Well last night, my buddy decided that if he can eat spicy foods and all that without getting "the fear" he would have a glass of wine. My friend is now in the hospital after flipping his car three times coming home from a restaurant.
He is in ICU and I cannot see him yet. There are a lot of people who will say this is not my fault, but he would have never went to that doctor without my recommendation. Chain events lead to me almost losing my friend.
|
Told my friend he might have anxiety, ate pills like a pharmed out junkie per docs orders, and drove on a glass of wine almost losing his life.
|
t3_3k130j
|
relationships
|
Me [16/F] with my boyfriend[17 M] 3 Years, we've been drifting apart.
|
So my boyfriend and I have been dating for three years, and have known each other for four years. It's an online relationship, but we've met up irl once. The first year was great. He loved me and I him, we spent time together - it was great. However, at the beginning of the second, I started to not spend time with him as much. He'd always try to talk to me but I'd be busy with life. Eventually he gave up trying to talk to me and we'd talk off and on. (We'd actually 'talk' everyday but meaningless convos like "how are you" "good")
We had our third year anniversary last month and for several months I've been trying to reconnect with him. It was my fault we fell apart so I tried to put effort into making us a thing again. He is very aloof, says he wants to spend time with me and loves me but he's a guy that isn't too good at communicating. Twice now at night recently though, he's said he's unsure whether or not he loves me when I ask him flat out, but he does put in some effort to talk to me afterwards and shows some affection. He said that even though he doesn't know whether or not he loves me, that he cares about me too much to let me go. It really hurts to think he may not love me anymore even though I think I may truly love him now. As much as a teen my age can lol. Should I try to mend it? How? Should I just let him go?
|
Drifted away from my boyfriend, found I love him and don't want to lose him but don't know if he loves me anymore.
|
t3_2855bt
|
relationships
|
My[18M] girlfriend[18F] of 1 year broke up with me unexpectedly very recently. Was no longer "100% committed" anymore. I am shattered.
|
My gf and I had been dating for a bit over a year until, earlier this week, she dumped me out of the blue. Her reasons were primarily not feeling that she was 100% committed to the relationship anymore. Now both of us maybe be fairly young, but I honestly believe that she is the girl that I would spend the rest of my life with, and she always reciprocated those feelings - in fact I didn't believe it possible for such a thing to occur until I realised how sure she was on the idea.
Now a year on, I'm left holding the shattered pieces of my life while those around me tell me that there will be someone else, but the only one I've ever wanted no longer wants me.
Does the ideal of "plenty of fish in the sea" work for everyone?
Should I have hope in the idea of "if you love them, set them free" and keep hope that she will return?
I just don't understand how we could be so in love one week, and broken the next. Any kind of wisdom right now would be greatly appreciated.
|
Me[18M] GF[18]. Heart broken after 1 year together. Am told "plenty of fish in the see" but I had the only fish I ever wanted. Just looking for some reddit wisdom and support.
|
t3_mxaf2
|
dogs
|
Just need to vent about dog training.
|
I have been working tirelessly training my lab mix for 10 months now (she is a little over a year old), and at this point she training for nose work competition (odor detection), she is training for show (Rally-O) and gets overall constant obedience training. At the moment she can search a 3500square foot room and find an odor source in under 20 seconds. She is target trained so I can have her "sit-stay" and throw a frisbee without her moving and then ask her to go "touch" the frisbee and then give her commands from 100ft away and have her sit, stay, lay down, speak, etc. She has a perfect recall and works as a demo dog where I work and must be perfectly behaved while performing obedience in front of large groups of people.
After all this, and her gorgeous performances, my husband just told me that he isn't impressed or proud of her because he assumes that all dogs are like our dog. This is his first dog, and therefore he assumes that our dog (Annie) is just an average dog. I wish I could get him to understand that dogs just don't automatically know how to do rally, or don't automatically know how to target and do obedience. I guess I just wish he realized how much time and effort I have put into training. He seems to think training is super easy and almost a waste of time because dogs are automatically well behaved.
|
My husband thinks dogs come out of the womb being perfectly trained, and is unimpressed by our well trained dog that I spent endless hours over the course of months training.
|
t3_vuoy4
|
AskReddit
|
Am I wrong for being frustrated with my girlfriend's hypocrisy?
|
My girlfriend regularly gets pissed off because I ogle and eyerape women regularly. We live in the desert, so the girls here usually tend to not leave much up to the imagination, unless your imagination is wild like mine.
At the same time, she (used to, at least) would wax poetic about how beautiful and gorgeous she finds Channing Tatum, Michael Fassbender, that guy who plays Captain America, and other guys (mostly whatever flavor of the hour is on r/ladyboners).
Then of course, Magic Mike came out, and she had to pay $9 to watch guys pretend to be hurt that they get treated like pieces of meat while dry-humping and stripping on screen for a good hour and a half.
I understand that watching porn or thinking what you'd do with a random woman if you had an hour alone with her is upsetting to your significant other, but how is that different than her doing the same with someone who just happens to have a greater amount of celebrity? I've gotten the "But he's a famous celebrity, so its not like I'd ever cheat on him with you" explanation many times before.
|
how is your girlfriend's brand of mental promiscuity permissible while your own male brand of promiscuity makes you a chauvinist filthy pig?
|
t3_3slcvr
|
jobs
|
About out-of-state interviews
|
Hi Reddit, got a small question for you all: is it a good sign that an employer is willing to interview you even if you live out of state?
I stated in my cover letter that I was definitely planning to relocate to the city in order to pursue this opportunity and that I even have my future living situation taken care of. I only live 3 to 3 and a half hours away (job is in NC, I live in VA, USA) so it's not like I would have to fly in or anything.
I know deep down it's not an automatic 'you'll get the job' sort of thing, but maybe I just need a confidence boost. I'm already risking so much just interviewing for this place since I have to call in "sick" from my current job.
|
employer willing to interview me despite living out of state? good sign? any general tips on how to ace an out-of-state interview?
|
t3_3a5xiz
|
relationship_advice
|
gf (18female) says she does not love me(19m) anymore, but we are still together. what to do?
|
hello. me and my gf have been together for a year now. and we have been through alot together, including an abortion. during the abortion she said i was the greatest person she had ever met, and every girl must be jealous of her for having such a loving and caring boyfriend.
we have been fighting alot lately... 3 weeks ago she told me she loved me, and 1 week later and she have just been yelling and yelling and complaining and complaining. she is furious and says that im acting childish etc( im very emotional at times) she said she wanted an "Open" relationship and she also stated that she knew i would hate the idea.
i answered out of pure frustation: oh, just so u can go and fuck someone else?
and she got more mad, alot of yelling. it conluded with her saying she does not love me anymore. but she likes me and cares about me and still sees me as a friend. and she says we can stay together if i man up.
and ive said i will man up, we are having a party on friday even. but she is still mad at me.
we have had our ups and downs but now i dont know if she wants to stay together with me or not.
the things she says ive done wrong is:
we have had to much sex,and it feels like ive been pressuring her. something ive said sorry for, and will get better at.
im not intelligent and u can not hold and intelligent conversation with me.( i know im not the smartest guy in the world, but it seems unfair to call me stupid)
and i act very childish and that she does not want to be my babysitter....
she says im one of the nicest persons she has ever met, and she does not wish to hurt me.....
i feel like a complete asshole and she has every right to be mad at me. she says that im not the right one, but she still wants to be together, idk realy,im so confused.
we will also go to the same school next year, have all the same classes and everything....
|
gf does not love me anymore, but is still my gf... ive realy realy realy,fucked up
|
t3_yrqyx
|
relationships
|
Is it too soon for him [20] to tell me he loves me [17,f]?
|
Met him about 3 weeks ago, we talk for hours on the phone everyday and we have spent only about 8 hours together in person (he lives about an hour and a half away so seeing each other is not easy). We are not officially together, although he keeps saying things like "So when are you going to be my girlfriend, huh?". I just got out of relationship the day before meeting him and I prefer to take things slowly, which is why we are not officially together but I'm planning on that happening sometime soon.
In person we get along really really well, he's super sweet and kind and caring. However, over the phone- which is where most of our relationship has taken place- he tends to get pretty mad at me on a regular basis over very insignificant things. He also is a drinker and a smoker, and while he is trying to quit he doesn't really make much of an effort to do so, and I absolutely hate alcohol and cigarettes. Besides those few issues, we really seem to get along well, but it appears he is a lot more into me than I am into him.
Last night, when he was out drinking with his buddies, he called me and told me "I love you". Now, I absolutely don't love him back, and I have always believed that it takes months if not years to truly love someone. I explained this to him today while he was sober, and while he understood, he said that he does truly love me despite the short duration of our relationship and understands if I don't feel the same way back yet.
Now, I don't know if I should be worried about this. Should I be? It has weirded me out and confused me a little bit, I never really believed that something like this was possible. In your opinion, is is too soon for him to tell me he loves me? I wouldn't want to end a potentially awesome relationship just because of this... but it does seem a little weird to me. I'd greatly appreciate any and all advice! Thanks.
|
Guy I just started casually seeing (3 weeks ago) told me he loves me. Is it too soon? Should I be concerned/end the relationship?
|
t3_o8ke5
|
AskReddit
|
What is an event in your life that just seemed to have the worst timing ever? Recent Example follows
|
So I've been dating this girl for a while and it has been going well. We went out to eat and I got sick from the food last night. The plan for the next day was for me to attend her church with her (Sunday school, meet friends, the works) so I spend the night.
I obiviously couldn't go to church the next morning as I had been up with the sickness but I tell her she should go anyway because she wants to get re-involved with the church. As I'm laying in bed, she comes back into the room and says the words that start every break up ever, "We need to talk."
In bed with a fever and shitting my earwax out every 10-15 minutes, I tell her I understand but I am in no way to talk about it right now. I also ask if i can stay in bed til she gets back from church hoping that I would feel at least well enough to talk about the breakup.
Fast forward a few hours of me sleeping/shitting/burping/almostthrowingup and i get up and realize its 2 o clock. I go to get a thermometer and see that I have a temperature. I text her letting her know. Her response is, "Not to be rude but you should go home cause I don't want the kids to get sick."
I laughed and packed my stuff to go home.
|
Got sick with the runs (it is a flu now), girl breaks up with me right before she heads to church. Hours later, I have a fever and a hilarious text from ex-gf
|
t3_1rppk2
|
relationship_advice
|
[18/m] In an LDR with [18/f], what's wrong with me?
|
So I've been in this 8000 mile long LDR for 4 months, and we are doing great, we're both in love, and happy with each other.
Until a week or so..I mean she's still more in love with me than ever, but I dunno, this past week it's like I'm falling in and out of love constantly, and I hate it..especially because I don't know why the fuck is that happening.. We didn't have any fight, she didn't do anything I didn't like, and never is anything less than perfect for me.
It's like..sometimes I feel like not talking to her, sometimes it's all I wanna do.. Sometimes I have no doubts about her, sometimes I'm unsure about us..this never happened before
We aren't able to video chat much, we mainly chat via texts. Is it the distance? Or something on my end? I want this relationship to work, what to do?
|
LDR with girlfriend was going great, started falling in and out of love with her (for no apparent reason whatsoever), worried and confused.
|
t3_183els
|
relationships
|
How can I (22/F) tell the difference between him (26/M) losing interest or just becoming more comfortable?
|
I know this is a menial concern compared to many here, but I do appreciate any advice.
We've been together for about 8 months now and it has been a wonderful relationship. Lately, though, there have been a few little things that concern me. For instance, him texting less and the replies being one-worded or spread out, or not calling me "babe" as much, just little things that were so commonplace that it makes a difference when they change. When we are together in person, everything seems the same, he's still affectionate and we are still together for the same amount of time as usual, but I can't help but pick up on those changes.
Forgive me for making a big deal out of a small issue, but I have had awful experiences in my previous relationships so my confidence level when it comes to them is a bit shot. He's the first relationship I've been in where I've been genuinely happy and comfortable and I just don't want to mess it up.
|
My (22/F) SO (26/M) of 8 months has been acting a little differently lately (not texting as much, etc), is he losing interest or just getting more comfortable?
|
t3_q19e3
|
relationships
|
Am I in the wrong here??
|
Me: 19/f, Him: 20/m; been together 1 year 9 months.
So this morning started out pretty good. I had to wake up early to run an errand, I came home and my boyfriend was in a seemingly fine mood. As he got ready for work (mainly consisting of browsing reddit), I started to do some kitchen tidying. I made him coffee and brought him breakfast.
About 45 minutes before he had to leave, I asked if he would have time to change the cat litter. He at first said "Yes". Then he shut the laptop and went into the bedroom, came out and said exasperatedly "Actually do you mind if I put it off for another day? I don't want to change out of my dress clothes," to which I replied, "No I'll do it." The litter smelled terrible and he would be taking the garbage downstairs when he left anyway - it made no sense to put it off and I didn't mind doing it. Then he freaked out, wondering why I couldn't be ok with just leaving it for him to do tomorrow - I tried to explain my reasons, and I really was fine with doing it as I didn't expect him to say yes when I asked anyway, but he said I was being condescending and miserable - which I made a clear effort not to be.
So he angrily proceeded to change the litter and take the garbage down, slamming the door on his way out, and was surprised when I wasn't exactly grateful for his behaviour (although as soon as he came upstairs I thanked him). I went to the window and gazed outside, trying to clear my head, which he took to mean I was upset and sulking. Then he left and slammed the door, and I just said "Wow," so he could hear. He called me and started yelling about that, so I hung up on him. I don't know what he expects of me, but as far as I can tell he just made a perfectly reasonable request into a big fucking drama.
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Asked BF to change cat litter, offered to do it when he didn't want to, he freaked shit on me for not letting it wait til tomorrow.
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t3_l0b0d
|
AskReddit
|
She Fucked Me On My Birthday...
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So a female co worker of mine introduced me to her roommate the day before my birthday by saying this is (insert name) and she wants to fuck you... Fast forward 24 hours and it's now my birthday and we are having the sexy time...
Now I'm not the kind of guy to sleep with girls I just meet or really be very involved with the ladies, so this birthday surprise was completely out of character and apparently it was for her as well (at least that's what she told me)...Fast Forward..
It's now two months later and believe it or not we are in a relationship and things are going good, she is only the second girlfriend I've ever had and I'm super happy and it seems like she is as well..
Tonight out of the blue she says we need to talk, then commences her breakup speech. She said things like "I'm incapable of being in a relationship/letting people close". " I don't think I want this right now" "it's not fair to you" "I struggle to picture a future with anyone" and "I'm such a fuck-up".
I spend most of the time listening and eventually tell her that things that start as quickly as we did usually end up coming to a screeching halt but that I didn't think it would be quite so soon and that in life you have to go get what you want and not worry about other people.
I'd rather find a way to keep her my girlfriend but have nooo clue as how to go about this...
If I decide I don't want her, how do I make sure I come out on top.
"It's not worth winning if you can't win big"
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girlfriend broke up with me very abruptly for seemingly no real reason. I want her, how do I keep her>? or make her wish she hadn't broken things off with me.
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t3_3o8i6g
|
relationships
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My [20 f] overbearing father [50s M] won't stop treating me like a slut. I'm in a committed long term relationship with [21 m] and it's getting frustrating.
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My father [50s M] is the rather overbearing type. In high school and middle school, I wasn't ever allowed into a relationship or even to hang out with any boys and would also frequently tell me not to hang out with certain girls that I tried to be friends with because they "are a bad influence on me" and because of this, I feel as though I've missed out on a lot of experiences that I could have had. This continued into high school until I [19f] decided to be all to heck with his rules, I should be allowed to hang around with who I want to hang around with and started hanging out with a mixed group of guys and girls. In this group, I met my current boyfriend . We were both into each other without the other one knowing and over time I started hanging out more and more with him and then eventually we started dating and things with my boyfriend are great. I love my boyfriend so much.
My father is driving me bonkers. Ever since I've started dating my current boyfriend my father has been trying to get me to break up with him. My father keeps telling me "Your boyfriend is only using you for sex and for the fact that you're going to be getting a highly paid job after you graduate from university". This isn't the case though, my boyfriend is a great partner who has been very supportive of me while I'm in school, makes a lot of effort in making me feel happy and satisfied in my relationship. At this point I'm fairly certain that this is the man that I will end up marrying.
Often times my father will call me "a fucking slut" and "a dirty whore" and say things along the lines of "yeah if you get pregnant, don't even bother coming home". My father also often calls my boyfriend "a loser" Most of the times this leads me to lock myself in my bedroom and cry.
I currently live at home because I cannot afford to move out, however I really can't stand putting up with this behavior from my father. I'd really like my father to stop with these comments.
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I'm in a committed relationship with a lovely man .My father kept trying to get me to break up with my boyfriend before and I said no and my father won't stop treating me like I'm a slut.
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t3_1e9r9q
|
relationships
|
In need of help! Me [20] with a guy [26] conflicted by feelings for a girl [18]!
|
So this isn't a very easy situation to be in let alone typing it out, it just honestly makes whats going on through my mind even harder.
I'm currently 20 years old and have been in a committed relationship for the past 2 years and 8 months. It'll be 3 years in September.
This man (26) has been nothing, but kind towards me. We currently live together, and I'm paying rent monthly. Despite how happy things seem between the 2 of us, there has something I've been coming to truth with. I believe that I might attracted to other girls as well as guys. I've been told that it might just be curiosity because of hormones, and that that kinda thing is normal. Although, nothing about wanting to be with a girl is purely sexual for me. If I were to be with a girl, I'd want to be with her for romantic reasons, and want to date her first. I don't do drunk make outs or hook ups. Recently I started talking to this girl (18) that I think I've kinda come to have a little thing for, I found out that she has similar feelings. I want to tell my boyfriend because I feel like he needs to know, but I don't know how he'll react.
We had a little talk about how guys like watching girls making out with each other, and I brought up in a joking matter how he would feel if I were to like girls. He claimed that he would break up with me because he was not a girl. I also mentioned what if I liked guys as well, and he just merely shrugged before leaving the room. I don't know if he acted that way because we were joking about it or if that's how he actually is. He isn't one to be that close minded so I thought that it would be fine to talk about it with him. After that episode though, it made me really scared to bring it up.
So, I come to you /r/Relationships for some guidance... This is a confusing and scary part of my life currently and could use some guidance from those that may have some insight or something to contribute. I need to know how to confront my boyfriend and how to handle this situation without blowing everything up.
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Committed for 2 years and 8 months to a very good guy (26). Started talking to a girl (18) I think I might have feelings for. Not sure how I should go about confronting my boyfriend about my situation.
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t3_1fsd7k
|
self
|
I fell for the old Indian Windows phone call
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I spent over 40 minutes talking to this Indian dude about my Windows security being expired. He changed my password, accessed files, downloaded a bunch of programs etc... I finally got it when he tried to make it look like my command prompt said "Windows security has expired and will crash your computer". However, he wrote "Windows security has expired and will crashed your computer". I immediately turned off my computer, hung up and turned off the phone. I'm typing this on my laptop, and I'm relatively sure my $3000 PC is completely ruined. I just want to say, fuck these people, and I hope I help some of you. Apparently, Windows will never call you out of the blue.
This is what got me to hang up, but not after 40 mins of talking and downloading shit on my computer.
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Stupid Indian asshole accessed my computer because I'm a gullible tit. Also installed a password for starting up my computer.
|
t3_3yz1kk
|
jobs
|
Roommate wants to ask for a raise advice or tips welcome.
|
So my roommate works at a specialized retail store. He has been there for 13 months. Recently almost everyone at the store has either been fired or quit leaving only him and the manager who is new. The most recently fired person was likely fired because he was asking for a raise (among other reasons that I won't get into) Which brings us to the situation. He currently makes around 10 an hour and wants to ask for a 2 dollar raise. He has at this particular store for the longest of any employee and been through 5 managers not counting the current one whom he is training more or less because he is new. He is obviously a valuable employee who has a lot of leverage right now (the store would be completely screwed without him). How do you guys think he should approach management and more importantly ownership when asking for a raise?
|
Roommate works in a retail has where someone has been fired for asking for a raise but has a lot of leverage wants advice asking for a raise.
|
t3_pemki
|
Parenting
|
Crying it Out Sleep Method
|
Has anyone here done this successfully...or unsuccessfully? Here's a bit of background: My 8-month-old daughter has co-slept with us since she's been born. It worked pretty well until last week. She slept, we slept, everyone was pretty happy.
Last week, she started waking up every hour or two and crying at us. The only way to get her to reliably sleep was to pace around the house with her over my shoulder at 3am. Obviously, this isn't a sustainable solution, so we decided to try letting her cry herself to sleep in her crib.
We've had her in there for four nights now, with mixed results so far. She cries for anywhere from between 45 minutes and two hours when we put her down, and then she wakes up again during the night and cries more. On the other hand, she also sleeps for 4, 6, and on one night even a straight 8 hours. I'm OK with continuing on this path, as its only been a short time, and I expected some resistance. My wife, however, has a really hard time listening to her scream, and we ended up pulling her out of the crib last night and bringing her back into the bed. I'm kind of stumped at this point.
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trying to get my child to sleep in her own crib, my wife is having a hard time with it. Has anyone else done this successfully?
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t3_4so403
|
relationships
|
Me [29 F] with my boyfriend [28 M] 1 year, becoming depressed i feel like my bf is losing interest.
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I feel like my boyfriend is losing interest and I am becoming sad. He has said I am his everything but we had issues before about his past, I always felt like I was an option because he was still checking up on his past. Anyway, when we were dating in the beginning i have felt like he was much more into me...now I feel like he is bored. We live together....ever since I felt like the sparks has died. I really want to feel wanted...I want to feel like he is into me. I don't feel like he is, maybe he got to comfortable? What are some ways I can do for him to notice me like before? I just want to be hott in his eyes....I want him to want to hang out with me. I have tried to hang out by myself but he ends up thinking I don't want to be around him, I tried to hang out by myself to give him space to want me more. I have no idea what to do.
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Me [29 F] with my boyfriend [28 M] 1 year, becoming depressed i feel like my bf is losing interest.
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t3_4uyzw6
|
relationships
|
I (18M) am starting college in a little less than a month in the same city as my girlfriend (18F) who is going to be a senior in high school. We both think it would be better to break up but we don't know how or what to do
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Sorry I'm sure this has already been posted but I wouldn't find it anywhere. Anyways, in about a month, I (18M) am starting college in the same city that I went to high school in. My girlfriend (18F) is going to be a senior at my old high school.
My girlfriend and I have both agreed that we think it would be better for us to break up before I start college but I don't know what to do or how to do it.
I don't know how to break up with her or how we should deal with talking to each other afterwards or seeing each other or what. Do we continue talking like everything is normal? Do we just cut contact completely? I have no idea what to do.
Also I'm decent friends with her older sister who is going to be a sophomore at the college I'm going to next year so I will most likely be seeing my girlfriend around assuming that I continue hanging out with her sister and my other friends.
Any help is much appreciated. Thanks everyone.
|
I'm going to college in the same city as my high school girlfriend but we want to break up. What do we do?
|
t3_3m5puj
|
relationships
|
Fiancee [27F] mistreats me [26 M] when I am trying to give her support, threatens to break it off (Dating 4 years, Engaged 6 months)
|
My fiancee and I are getting married in about a year and 8 months. We are currently long distance due to work and school (she moved away for a job 5 months ago and I am working on my masters), and see each other almost every weekend, sometimes every other (5 hour drive). We should be back living with each other in a year and a half.
She has recently been telling me that she is homesick and wants to quit her job and move back home. Upon getting these texts, I went into advice/support mode, suggesting that she hangs out more with some people she met at work and became friends with, and just general words of encouragement, reiterating that I will be with her in a year and a half. Unfortunately, she became extremely defensive and upset with me, saying I know nothing and general you're stupid insults. She continued attacking me, finally texting that this relationship was a mistake and that she wants to end it. I was just trying to help her because I want her to be happy and succeed.
I am not going to lie, she is quite emotional and does have a short temper at times, usually whatever issues we have blow over. But, oftentimes I am truly hurt by what she says to me/how she treats me but am afraid to let her know because I don't want to re-spark whatever the issue was/have her get upset and in the defensive mode. It is very rare that she has admitted fault and said sorry to me. Most of the time I just take the blame and move on. I am a very relaxed, blow it off, kind of person while she is more high strung.
I was just trying to help her but now I feel like I made things worse. And here I am sitting in my apartment crying. I know things will get better when we will be together next year but I am nervous that we won't last until then.
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Fiancee threatens to end relationship after I try to give her advice/support. I feel mistreated by her often
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t3_1afzfz
|
Advice
|
Need advice about moving while short on cash.
|
Hey advisers,
So here's my story:
I'm currently in a two year college and this is my last semester before I transfer to a University that is about 2 hours away from where I live now.
My current monthly pay is ~$700 from my retail job and ~$300 from my work-study. My rent is $415/mo and my utilities are $200/mo. Phone, car insurance, and gas make up about $140/mo.
My retail job pays out every two weeks and my work-study pays out on the first of the month. I'll be starting finishing community college may 7th and starting university in august, so I want to be moved in before the end of July.
I'll need to quit my job, find a job in the new city, then put a down-payment on an apartment while I don't have a lot of spare cash floating around.
I will be getting a $650 check from my school about 3-4weeks after the end of the semester (second friday of may) and I have the option of taking out an unsubsidized student loan by may 1st. I paid a $300 deposit, but the complex I live in is notorious for not giving that back, and they do not allow you to do many basic repairs (wall filling, painting, etc.) but require you to use your deposit to pay them to do it.
I can't live on campus because I'm married (the college doesn't have accommodations for married students.)
**Possible relevance
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I need advice on finding a job and apartment in a city two hours away while currently renting in as little time as possible so as not to have to pay two apartment's rent at the same time.
|
t3_2xl9aj
|
relationships
|
I [18M] overheard that my dad [53] cheated on my mum [51].
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Since quite some time I knew that my parents had problems in the bedroom. About 6 years ago I overheard -very involuntarily- my parents arguing about this. I guess my dad was unsatisfied and wanted to have sex at least once a month, but my mum said she is too stressed out. She "suggested" he should just get on top of her when he needs it and she would lay there and let him. My mum is pretty agressive in arguments and always "wins" them.
Also my mum got her uterus (?) removed a few years ago and I think she hasn't really got a sex drive anymore.
In general my parents are fighting often, mostly at weekends or vacations. My mum's also threathening to divorce about once a year. Or probably more often, I just hear her saying that she wants a divorce about once a year. Thankfully I'm off to College since half a year and don't have to hear them fighting so often anymore.
Well now I was home over the weekend and today I heard my mum bring up my dad cheating in a fight they had about something different. I don't think they know I heard.
So what shall I do know? I wish I could just unhear it. I always knew they had lots of issues but it didn't seem that bad most of the time.
I don't like my dad less now, I guess I can understand why he did it and with me it wouldn't be an issue if he cheated and my mum just never found out about it. But I also feel lots of pity for my mum, because it must feel unbelievably shitty for her.
I know I can't fix anthing for them and these aren't my issues. I just don't know how to handle knowing this now. I don't want to be wondering how long this has been going on and how often and all this shit. Have some of you already been in the same situation? Can someone give some advice on how I can deal with knowing this? I don't want to look back later and realise that this event caused trust issues or something similiar.
__________________________________________________
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Overheard that my dad cheated on my mum, I don't know more, I wish I just unheard it, but am left wondering about it all the time.
|
t3_rzrd3
|
loseit
|
Today I've passed the halfway mark
|
Hi, my name is odrik and this is one of my few posts. I am 18 years old, 5"9 and currently my weight is 207lbs.
My journey began in late December. No. My journey began when I was born. 11lbs, that was the weight when I took my first breath. Years over years i tried to stop the weight gain but everytime I failed and my weight increased everytime. In summer 2011 my scale showed me 235 lbs.
Autumn 2011: One day I realised that it can not go on this way. I was worried that I could die in a young age. I started a new attempt. At this time I discovered r/loseit. I began to read all the stories of people, who could lose incredible weight. My motivation was on the highest level it could ever be. I began to ride my stationary bike everyday. 30 mins, then i tried to do 40, then 50. In 50 min of S-Bike i burn ca. 1500kjoule. Then I began to lift some weighs. I don't do that in a specific rythm, I just do it whenever I feel like. Many people told me that I should count my calories. I did count them. A month or less later I gave a shit for it. People told me to not eat carbs. I don't give a fuck. I eat spaghetti 3 times a week, I eat bread to my lunches. I eat it. Don't misunderstand me. I don't eat much. I just eat whatever the fuck I want.
This week I've lost again 6lbs. There are times I gain a bit weight. But I see that as a challenge. That tells me, I should work harder.
I am sorry for my bad english, I also don't give a fuck if you vote me down. I also don't give a fuck to butthurt people who say I do it wrong. I've tried it many times with eating no carbs and shit like that but it never helped. It's now 5 months that I am constantly losing weight. That's by far a new record for me and I am feeling better than ever. Today I've passed the halfway mark. By summer I should reach the weight that I currently aim for.
For
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butthurt fuckers: Fuck you, I don't write a text that long in english for people who are too lazy to read.
|
t3_d3kpu
|
AskReddit
|
What should I do?
|
I've been a proud pet owner for many years now and I love my pets very dearly. Recently my boyfriend and I decided to move in together, but have not yet officially signed anything permanent. He himself recently moved home with family where he has several family pets.
As we were discussing moving plans, we started talking about pets. I know from previous experience my pets love to romp and play with others all the time; his do not and have had adverse reactions in the past to the introduction of new animals into the household. So we started discussing our options regarding bringing our pets into a new household.
The problem is we're moving into a small apartment, not a big house with lots of room. There's no way it could accommodate all of our pets. He proposed that we only bring a select number of pets from our brood, meaning I'd have to give up one of mine and he'd leave a few behind as well.
I do not have any alternate homes for my pets as of now. My family, whom I haven't lived with for several years, has stated multiple times they would never take in my pets.
His family, however, has lived with his pets since they were adopted, and if our arrangement didn't work out they might be fine with keeping their family pets at their place. They also might not.
I want him to bring in his pets but also be able to keep mine.
I feel very torn. I love my pets very much; to me, they are family. They've never had any home but with me, and I view my adoption of them as taking on the responsibility of caring for them. I don't want to give them up at all, as I care about them immensely and would hate to part from any of them. However, I also do want to live with my boyfriend.
However, relationships require compromise and I'm having trouble thinking of any other solutions. What do you think? Any ideas? Suggestions?
|
My boyfriend and I are moving in to a small apartment together with too many pets for one home; we brought up giving some up which means I'd have to find a new home for some of mine.
|
t3_3wz4zr
|
relationships
|
How can I [17M] politely kick someone out of our friend group?
|
So we have a friend in our group, and her name is Sarah. She's been hanging around with us, sitting with us at lunch, etc. since the beginning of the school year. Since this is her first year at the school, we are some of her only friends.
Lately, we as a group (3 others) decided that we don't really like Sarah hanging around us anymore. She's getting kind of annoying, and doesn't know when to stop talking a lot of the time. We stopped hanging around with her outside of school, and it makes me feel bad that we don't invite her. IMO, I'd rather have her along even though she's kind of annoying than having her feel left out. Out of all though, I'd rather her stop hanging out with us completely.
What are my options here?
|
girl in my friend group isn't really liked by anyone in our group anymore, do I deal with it or find a way to kick her out politely?
|
t3_4vxrbz
|
relationships
|
I [36M] suspect there is something inappropriate going on between my brother [22M] and his caretaker [42M].
|
My brother, Andrew, has autism. He is mostly functioning, but he stays in a program for adults with special needs. He is in there because my career does not allow me to take adequate care of him on my own, and both of my parents are dead. Although he is extremely intelligent and can cook basic meals, he is unable to work a real job therefore he could not afford to live on his own. I visit him often and he seems happy where he is.
Because of the autism he has a lot of trouble connecting to people. He is extremely shy and cold to those he has just met, but if you manage to get past his shell he will latch on to you. He dated one woman before, but she left him for this reason. She wasn't autistic and didn't really understand it before she started dating him.
Recently he has been talking a lot about a newer caretaker. At first it was endearing; I was happy Andrew had found someone he could trust and he was having some trouble socializing. After a while, though, it started to sound like it may have evolved into a crush, which on it's own is innocent enough, but Andrew has told me that this caretaker has called him things like "gorgeous" or "beautiful". I do not think that is very appropriate. I know a lot of his caretakers call him adorable, because he is! But I think those other petnames cross the line.
I don't have any reason to believe anything sexual has been going on between them, but that shouldn't make anything less inappropriate. My question is, is there anything I can do? Is it worth stressing over or is it puppy love.
|
My autistic brother seems to have attached himself to a caretaker who calls him inappropriate names. I don't know if this is something I should worry myself over, or if I need to contact the head of his program.
|
t3_4ywitw
|
relationships
|
My friend [19F] doesn't stop asking me if i am ok [20M]
|
I will keep it short. My depressed (and probably co-dependent) friend keeps texting me all the time (at least 3 times per day) if i am ok, let alone the fact that she is just a friend and she texts me a lot, and somehow she expects me to always have some big news, even during the day (i.e she will text me in the morning, then at the evening and then at night she will ask me stuff like what i did during my day, if i am ok etc.) . It's really tiring, it's nice of her to care but I find it really tiring and annoying, let alone the fact that I don't like sending text messages (We only talk with my gf every day for around 20-30 minutes).
Sometimes I believe she asks me if i am ok because she is not ok, something like she wants to bring me down emotionally so she can have someone depressed as well (all this subconciously because it sounds very mean and awful) so she has someone to talk to. I am always there when she has her bad days (which is pretty much everyday, the pattern always goes full excitement, full depression, full excitement, full depression throughout the day) but I do believe she has to face some of her problems alone, she acts like I am the one that i am supposed to solve her problems sometimes.
But I am able to manage this even if I hurt her sometimes even if she believes I don't care. What I really care is that I want her to stop sending me messages like "are you ok?" . Yes I am fricking fine, the last time I remember being not ok was because I broke my laptop. How do i stop that? I've asked her kindly around 2-3 times, she stops for 2 weeks then she starts again slowly slowly. Kinda annoyed as well because If I tell her straight face she will throw me one of her rants about how I have started becoming distant and all that.
|
Depressed co-dependent friend keeps asking me if i am ok probably to open a discussion about her. I am ok, i've always been, I just want this to stop.
|
t3_341pdw
|
relationships
|
Me [19 M] with my SO [18 F] of 1 month, having worries about her ex and the future relationship
|
I've been officially dating my current girlfriend for a little over a month. We go to the same university and the second semester is just finishing up so we'll be going long-distance for our 2.5 month summer break, (we live in different states), but we've had talks about me flying out to visit her for a week or so.
Anyways, I recently noticed she's been texting an ex-boyfriend from back home fairly regularly- as much as she texts me, potentially more so. She even does this when we are hanging out together, or are out somewhere or on date nights. I asked her about this guy, and she got a bit defensive claiming they were "just friends."
Problem is, I've come to learn through past relationships that being close platonic friends with an ex just seems to cause a lot of problems for the current relationship. Its one thing to be civil and friendly with an ex, maybe checking in from time to time, but texting them almost 24/7, even when you're with your current partner? I find this to be very worrisome and problematic.
Anyways, we are about to go long-distance for about 2.5 months, with a potential week-long visit in between, and her "friendship" with her ex really worries me. I'm not going to be around for most of the summer as I'll be in a different state, but this guy will, and they text all the time; I'm really concerned that she will reconnect with this guy in my absence and I'll be the odd man out.
I realize that our relationship is fairly young, but her constantly texting this guy is a big red flag for me, especially given that she'll be pretty close to him, and away from me, for a couple months.
Should I jump ship now, or am I overreacting? I want to let this situation play out how it will, but if it goes badly I'm worried I'll end up hurt.
|
SO texts her ex 24/7 and claims to be "friends." I'm worried because we'll be long distance for a couple months and this ex will be around.
|
t3_1dqtfv
|
relationships
|
I [16m] left a bad first impression of gf [15f] parents. Apologize?
|
We have been going out for roughly 2 weeks, but had mutual feelings roughly since mid February. It's going well, and she lives relatively close (6ish minutes walking distance, 2 min driving).
So this Saturday, I (after waking up at ~11 pm from a nap) decided I would go to her house (I've been there, but never inside/never met her Korean parents) to say goodnight in person, trying to make up for not coming over, since I said I would come over at 8~9 pm.
So there I was, nearly midnight, at her house. She told her dad, who was awake, that I was outside. She invited me in briefly to say hello to her dad, and then her dad and she began arguing in Korean (I'm chinese). She translated for me later that she would be in trouble.
I talked alone with her from 15 minutes and then came in to apologize (I learned how to say "i'm sorry" in korean during those 15 minutes). He then spoke in english saying to her "You're in trouble," "I'm telling your mother," and "Do you know how late it is?"
Afterwards, I said goodbye. In the morning, my gf called saying that if I pulled something like that again, her parents would make her break up with me.
For the next 4ish hours, she won't be home, and I was wondering whether or not I should go to her home and apologize properly, alone. But doing this, I fear they might say something like to never come here again.
I could also wait it out and never do something like that again, and maybe regain some favor, but I would feel threatened by the idea of never resolving the issue formally.
A third option would be to talk to her parents with her later tonight (I'd say roughly 8 pm), and sit down and apologize...
*We are young, but this issue is more of me not wanting her parents to look at their daughter's boyfriend in negative light/ as a bad influence.
|
First time meeting her dad was midnight outside her house. Bad first impression might force her parents to break us up. Should i formally apologize alone, with her, or do nothing?
|
t3_2azalv
|
relationships
|
I [26F] have a crush on a colleague [36M] and just found out he hooked up with my housemate [27F]
|
Having such a string of back luck recently...
I sit with this guy at work. He's really so nice and such a kind person. I have a crush on him which I hide pretty well (I hope!). I'd never dream of trying anything because first off he's my colleague and second of all he's just out of an extremely long relationship is broken-hearted.
We've hung out a few times in a group after work and a couple times my housemate (who I think is awesome) has come along. Last time we were out, I went home early after a few too many drinks and she just told me today they went home together drunk and have been out one other time since. She didn't know I had a crush on him.
Anyway, shit happens! I always knew it was a stupid crush but now I really don't want to feel that way anymore! Does anyone have any advice on how to get this out of my system? I feel weird knowing about this and just kind of deflated. What if they start dating and he comes over here?
I wouldn't dream of being shitty to either of them, but I don't want to end up feeling rubbish either. HELP!
|
Like coworker, found out he and housemate hooked up when drunk. Feel awkward/bit sad. What do.
|
t3_22xsu8
|
relationships
|
Myself [20M] my girlfriend [22F] and our roommate [20M] all three living together but only one who even has a job.
|
As the title says I live with my girlfriend of 2 years who we will call (A) and my best friend of 5 who we will call (J). As of last February A has not had a steady job and hasn't worked since last September. J has not had a job for about 3 months now. I am frustrated not just because I pay all the bills and rent and buy food for everyone, I work 40+ hours a week not making very much so money is always tight.
On top of all that no one will do anything around the apartment, I am expected to cook dinner every night after work and on a rare day off I am expected to clean the apartment.
I try talking to them, telling them how terrible this is for me, but every time it gets shrugged off and it makes me feel worse and makes an already difficult situation for me.
|
I am the only one of three people who has a job, and the other two expect me to cook and clean on top of working 40+ hours a week.
|
t3_2gwxkc
|
relationships
|
I [18 M] feel terrible with my ex [16 F] for about half a year. It's to the point where I have depersonalizations/emotional numbness periods at school.
|
I was dating my ex for half a year. She is amazing and I couldn't have been happier with the relationship we shared. But we started seeing less and less of each other when she had to go spend time with her mother (parents are divorced) and on top of that she has color guard to practice for.
The relationship ended this past week, however for a month I felt that it already ended. She didn't want to talk to me much or even at all. <b> I still love her with all my heart. </b> But she said that she couldn't handle a relationship at this time. It's also worth mentioning that along with practice, she also is struggling in four classes and she is just "Not comfortable around guys" yet when other guys talk to her, she seems fine.
I love her. But I am so conflicted that at times my mind (Note: I suffer with depression, Social Anxiety Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and other symptoms pointing toward disorders of the same type) I feel so numb. I can't feel emotions and I am just like a robot programmed to file a task.
I don't know what to do.
I am thinking I just want to have someone that loves me. Like, someone outside of family. Should I try dating sites? Should I wait and see if we can get back together after the sporting season is over?
|
Broke up with girlfriend recently. Hurts so much where I can't even feel emotions at some periods through a day. I don't know what else to do.
|
t3_3vwadv
|
relationships
|
I [27/M] am accompanying my girlfriend [30/F] to an office party. I have never been in this situation before, advice?
|
Hello,
I am to attend a party with my new gf and her coworkers. I have a certain amount of trepidation because I will be mingling with people who are in a completely different field than me. Also, I presume that there will be a lot of questions directed towards me and my relationship with my new gf.
What can I expect to happen at this party? What questions should I prep for? What do I talk about? (Me: STEM, specifically biology and conservation, Her and her coworkers: Finance)
Some things I am thinking about and already have answers for:
- Describe what I do, witticisms
- Circumstances that brought me and my current gf together
- Where I am from, my life story
- What I am into
Has anyone been in this situation before? Have you seen a new face at an office party and how did you interact with them?
|
Going to an office party where I feel that I will have nothing in common with those in attendance. How do I prepare for this?
|
t3_3x6hst
|
relationships
|
My [26F] brother [36M] may be on drugs again, has extreme paranoia, and doesn't take advice well.
|
Note: since I am 10 years younger, there is a lot of family history I'm not aware of.
My brother used drugs as a teen and in his 20s. I don't know which ones, but I know he was dealing them too, and went to rehab at some point. He still drank somewhat even though he's an alcoholic, but he got a steady job, an apartment, and generally seemed to be doing OK.
He's also a misogynist. This is relevant because he's previously had problems with girlfriends. Within the last year, one girlfriend filed a restraining order against him as he was stalking her and tapping her phone calls, and the most recent girlfriend - whom he impregnated after knowing her for 3 months - left him after his paranoia became too much to handle.
Since the most recent girlfriend left, everything's gone downhill. He lost his job, lost his health insurance, lost money on the apartment they'd moved into together as he had to move out, lost money on lawyer fees, etc. He thinks the girl who left him put a hidden tracking device in his car, is planning to have her friends ambush and attack him, that she may have implanted listening devices, etc. Essentially, he's lost it.
My family has different ideas on how to handle this. We are currently awaiting drug test results before we decide how to move forward, and we need to be very careful as he is in a delicate place.
Despite the mental & drug issues, he is still together enough to know when and how to act normal, so one wrong move could cause him to withdraw even further and get caught in a bad cycle again.
Has anyone ever dealt with a family member who has mental issues and drug problems? How did you deal with it?
|
My brother has recently suffered a lot of loss, and I'm concerned he's having a psychotic break + using drugs. How to help him 1) get off the drugs & 2) see a psychiatrist?
|
t3_4d1qz2
|
Dogtraining
|
Dog let's us know that he has to go potty, but I'm afraid he's just doing it whenever he wants to go outside.
|
So basically as the title says. I have a 12 week old Corgi puppy living in an apartment. I have owned many dogs in my life, but he is probably the smartest and most stubborn of them all. For example, he was chewing on a chair leg (outside) and we said "no" and replaced it with a stick. He went back to the chair leg, we did the same thing. So then, being the cheeky little bastard he is, he took the stick, held it in the back of his mouth, and continued chewing on the chair. Now I'm probably anthromorphising a bit here, but I swear the expression on his face said "check, mate!".
He gets let out hourly during the day into a small courtyard where he can run around and go potty, and after he goes I'll normally let him hang out for a few minutes. After he eats (twice a day), I take him out for an hour or two to a bigger courtyard where he can run around and explore. My point is that it's not like he's starved for outside time, and as soon as he gets his last round of shots he'll be going on daily walks.
Being the smart little guy he is, Ziggy pretty quickly figured out that if he has to go potty, he can go sit by the door and bark, and me or my roomates will take him out. The problem is that he's started doing it ALL the time. Like, we'll have just come inside and he'll go bark by the door.
My dilemma is that I don't want to ignore the behavior, but I also don't want to encourage it as a way for him to get unlimited outside time, if that makes any sense.
What I've considered doing is when he barks, saying "Okay, potty" and then only taking him out long enough to do his business, and taking him out for more extended play at random times when he's not by the door? But I'm afraid this will result in him holding it so that he can stay outside longer.
Any suggestions? Thanks!
|
My dog let's me know when he wants to go outside by barking at the door, but he's begun to use it as a "I want to go outside and play" as well. What do?
|
t3_4a9m43
|
relationships
|
Woman [20/F] initiates conversation with me [23/M] online, is keen and agrees to meet up. Then, ignores all messages. Why?
|
I [23, M] have been using OKCupid for about a week and was messaged by a lovely looking woman (fashion student) of 20. She seemed keen to talk and was picking out bits of my profile that she liked. We had a short conversation, in which I suggested taking her out (as I know places in the town she is in) and she said "that would be lovely".
I then suggested an activity and since then I have received no more messages from her. I have only sent one more follow up since to which I have received no reply in about 2-3 days.
I am still looking around, it's not like I'm now focusing on her, but it just boggles my mind that she now ignores someone that she messaged first and wanted to meet up with. It defies all logic! To my (albeit limited) knowledge I made no common mistakes. I am just wondering if there could be any sort of explanation?
|
Woman [20] initiates online message with me [23/M] and agrees to meet up. After meet suggestion, ignores all messages. Why?
|
t3_5534s6
|
Parenting
|
How do I know if me being a SAHM is for me and my family?
|
My husband (32M) and I (32F) recently moved back to our hometown with our son (1M) due to personal reasons. Both of us were working before and our son stays at home with a live-in nanny/housekeeper. I left my job 3 months before we moved out and have been a SAHM since then.
We have some money saved up that is enough to cover all our expenses for more or less a year. My husband is now actively job-hunting. I have also sent out my CV, but I can't seem to bring myself to be thrilled with the idea of running in the rat race again.
I loved being a SAHM. I had issues with our nanny and, as grateful as I am for all the things she had done for our family, I was quite relieved when I finally let her go. I find joy in personally taking care of our son, however taxing it might be on some days (he is kind of a high-need child). Also, I am not very domesticated so housekeeping on my own is a new and exciting experience for me.
With all this said, there is also the thing of our financial needs. It is difficult for us to know whether or not we can live on a single income or not since my husband has yet to land a job. He, however, has selflessly given me the freedom to choose and said that we can adjust accordingly. But I know that this is an understatement, since our lifestyle has been well-adjusted to that of a double income household.
I am also open to the idea of freelancing from home but I don't know how WAHMs actually make it work. My previous job allowed me to work from home once or twice a week and I know that I couldn't have had any work done if my nanny wasn't there.
Is being a SAHM really worth the sacrifice of my career and the extra income? Is there a way I can get the best of both worlds? Not sure if this is the right thread to post this but any advice/comment/suggestion is welcome. I am truly losing sleep over this and I know that I have to decide soon. Thank you very much.
|
My husband and I are out of work, have 1 y/o son. I want to be a SAHM, but not sure if this decision is financially feasible for our family.
|
t3_19jkjw
|
relationships
|
19F feelings neglected by 26M BF, what should I do?
|
Boyfriend and me have been dating for a little over a year.
So today I worked early but was sent home since I really wasn't feeling well after a recent injury. Upon returning home I try to go into my bedroom, which I share with my boyfriend, and notice it's locked. I can hear him stumbling around and putting on pants. I thought he panicked and expected me to be our other roommate who is a male and probably didn't want him to see him without pants. Anyways I go sit in the living room and wait for him to finish getting dressed. He asks me why I am home when I had work in a bit of a rude tone but I ignore the attitude since he's usually grumpy in the mornings anyways. He basically ignores me until it's time for him to leave for work (about two hours) and acts as if he is mad for me.
Long story short, boyfriend was fapping to "jail bait" porn and left the tabs on our computer up. An entire month prior to this he pretty much goes from clawing my panties off whenever I'm around to not giving me any attention at all. I figured he was just not in the mood, but it turns out he just wasn't in the mood for me this whole time. I really don't know what to do at this point. I feel pretty neglected and a little weirded out he is looking at barely legal young woman porn seeing as how there is a pretty big age gap between us. I feel as if he was only attracted to me in a weird pedo sort of way.
Any advice on how to move past this awkwardness I am feeling or advice whether to stay, go, ignore it, etc.?
|
Came home early and discovered SO masturbates to barely legal "jail bait" porn after not giving me special attention for months. Advice on how to deal with discovery?
|
t3_3kcvqd
|
tifu
|
TIFU by doodling on another company's public whiteboard...and then giving in to my own insecurity
|
So my startup and its much larger sister company just moved into a new building together. SisterInc has an awesome space with giant chalkboard walls in some of the common areas. Employees from MyCo visit these areas from time to time to use the coffee machine, play games, etc.
SisterInc had decorated one of its chalk walls with a big cartoon of their mascot(?), some relevant hashtags, etc., so I thought it would be funny to get a friendly rivalry going. I grabbed some chalk and drew a huge speech bubble coming from the mascot that said, 'MyCo Rulez!', and answered some of their hashtags with '#MyCoIsBetter', etc., among other small things.
Near the end of the day, I thought I overheard my boss and the CEO on the other end of our open office, talking about someone not being part of the team/not pulling their weight/needing to be talked to in private, etc....and I thought I heard my name. Being EXTREMELY insecure, I freaked out. Maybe this was it for me...they'd finally had it with my poor skills/efforts and were about to let me go.
After wallowing in panic for the whole walk home, I sent an e-mail to my boss that basically asked whether I was doing alright and what I could improve on (it also mentioned the insecurity a bit for context). I hit send. Five harrowing hours later, an e-mail came out to the whole office...about the chalkboard incident. The comments were inappropriate, it said, and they were removed.
As it turns out, the chalk walls are in a very public area, where visitors (such as OUR OWN INVESTOR, WHO HAPPENED TO VISIT YESTERDAY) often end up. The e-mail about them did end in a smiley face, and I was super releived/thought the whole thing was hilarious at first, but now I'm kind of scared again. I really hope I didn't screw up the best job that's even happened to me...and the timing of my other e-mail is really awkward now :-(
|
joked around on other company's chalkboard wall, mis-overheard the higher-ups' reaction to it, and sent unecessary/awkwardly timed e-mail to my boss essentially asking for a performance review
|
t3_16ntwy
|
relationship_advice
|
[20/m] How do I go at my girlfriends [20/f] "pace" if she won't try and advance our physical relationship any further? (clarification inside)
|
Me and my current girlfriend have been dating for a little bit over a month and things have been going very well...except for trying to get closer. I realize that it's only been a month, but I have concerns for the near future. She is very shy and has also never done anything before (I know this for a fact). I was her first kiss and her first boyfriend. My last relationship was a little over 14 months so I, on the other hand, do have some experience.
I really care about her and am all for going as slowly as she wants to in progressing our relationship. The only thing is that I don't think she'll try and move things forward. I believe that she wants me to do that, but I am worried about moving too fast for her. But as stated before, I really like her and definitely want to get closer (I'm not a dick and just looking for some action. I feel like all the "fun" stuff is a reflection and expression of how much you care about someone)
I realize that I can just talk to her, but I also do not know how comfortable she is with talking about these kinds of things.
Any thoughts?
|
Girlfriend wants to take things slow, but she won't try and progress things when she is ready because she is shy and doesn't have any experience.
|
t3_1wbygi
|
relationships
|
Me [18M] sick to my stomach about my Ex [18F] after 8 months.
|
so i have been fighting depression over the ex for 8 or 9 months because i really did love her and she left me for a mutual friend.
that was a hard couple of months. hearing about them together and seeing them here and there. i didn't have many friends left around me, they all hung out with my ex.
i do nothing but work for the next couple months,don't go out often,
when i see her around she doesn't seem to be with him anymore.
it doesn't make me feel much better.
now today, today i come to find out shes moved on to fucking another
guy that i thought was one of my last friends.
i feel sick to my stomach and i can't get away from thoughts of her
and i'm disgusted. The sweet girl that i loved wouldn't go around giving herself up like this. I miss that sweet girl.
|
i still love my ex. even though shes been fucking my friends and it hurts like the day she dumped me.
|
t3_31moij
|
Advice
|
Need Advice: ATTN: Content (with your lives) users of reddit; How did you finally become content with your career, marriage, significant other, etc? (self.AskReddit)
|
Hello Reddit,
I suffer from a serious case of "the grass is greener" syndrome in some major aspects of my life; my career, my lovelife, my living situations, etc. (For those that may be wondering, when I refer to "the grass is greener syndrome", I'm referring to how everything seems to theoretically seem better than any given thing/situation that one finds themselves in/with); I can never seem to be satisfied with any given situation that I find myself to be in. A couple examples:
Lovelife: I had been single for the past several years (by choice) after my last relationship ended. Now that I have a girlfriend again, I can't help but think about all of the other gorgeous, potentially-perfect girls out there that could be for me.
Career: I'm still relatively young (26), have been living/working in China for the past 1.5 years (born/raised in America), can't help but wonder where I could be headed next or what lies ahead in my future...
At the same time that I'm considering these things, I DO have the urge and desire to one day settle down and start a family, etc.
Any advice or personal stories about how YOU managed to finally become content (happy?) with your girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife/relationship/family would be greatly appreciated.
I would like to add that I DO realize that I am extremely fortunate to have THIS seemingly insignificant issue as my only major struggle in life at the moment, and I do feel for those who are suffering and worrying about much more important things in their lives!
|
I'm relatively young, have some options in life (career/relationship wise)--How in the hell do I finally become content with what I have instead of worrying about what I DON'T have??
|
t3_nazg5
|
AskReddit
|
Am I making too big a deal about this issue with my girlfriend?
|
My girlfriend is named "Allison Jones" (made up but the example fits), and goes almost exclusively by "Allie". We met freshman year of college, and didn't start dating until later on. Since freshman year, she's been listed in my phone as "Allison Jones". I also used to have a friend throughout high school named Allie, and that's what she's listed as in my phone. We are no longer in touch with each other.
Last night, my girlfriend got more than a little upset about this, saying that she needs to be the "Allie" in my phone. We're talking tears here. I, obviously, don't give a shit about what anyone is listed as in my phone, but feel that changing the names would be validating this behavior. Should I just do it and be done with it, or am I right to be stubborn? My girlfriend has been jealous in the past (to a normal extent I think) but this just strikes me as the behavior of an irrational psycho and kind of scares me.
|
My girlfriend wants me to change how she's listed in my phone and is incredibly upset that I won't, because I think it's stupid. Am I wrong?
|
t3_3u8wtj
|
relationships
|
My [26m] brother [26m] wants to propose to his girlfriend a week and a half before I had plans to propose to my girlfriend. How to ask him to wait without sounding extremely selfish?
|
I [26m] have had plans to get get engaged to my high school sweetheart when we go away next week for a couple months now. My twin brother [26m] has known about it from the start and we have ring shopped together.
He now plans on proposing tomorrow at dinner in front of family, only if he has my blessing to do so. He said he'll only do it if I'm comfortable with it. He is still waiting on a definitive answer from me, but I've said that if he thinks its the best time to do it, then I don't want to hold him back. I just don't want him to take away from my popping of the question in a week. How do I ask him to wait without being selfish and comping off as a dick?
|
Brother wants to ask girlfriend to marry him a week before I had plans to ask mine to marry me. How do I ask him to wait since I've been planning this for months now?
|
t3_22kpp0
|
relationships
|
I [26 M/F] have less than one month before my SO [22 M/F] must end our relationship. How do I make the most of our remaining days?
|
My girlfriend and I have been together for two years now. We both love each other tremendously, having started out as best friends for three years prior. The other day, she suddenly received an amazing career opportunity that she has always dreamed of: travel, excellent pay, and it in her field of study. However, she would be overseas, in different locations all over the world. Having talked it over and explored our options, we both came to the conclusion that we would have to end our relationship.
I know that long distance relationships hardly ever work. I also know that I love her too much to even consider asking her to stay just for me.
So, I have until the end of April to make the most of our time together. Rather than end things on a sad note, I would much rather have us go out with a bang, making whatever precious memories we can until the inevitable day that we must part ways.
If you could please help me come up with meaningful ways to use our last few days together, I would greatly appreciate it. Also, ideas on a "farewell present" would also be welcome.
Thank you in advance from the bottom of my heart.
|
I have say goodbye to the love of my life in less than one month. Help me make our remaining time together memorable.
|
t3_2v3844
|
relationships
|
Me [26 F] with my bf [30 M] of about 2 months. Seen each other every day, practically living together. I think I am in love but not sure what to do & it's killing me.
|
Hi Reddit,
I'm a 26 year old who's been in some bad relationships before and took a long time to finally start dating again. One was abusive, the rest were just meh and so I found myself and decided I must love myself.
I met M and we went out on a date. The next day, we hung out at his place and nothing happened, but we cuddled and it just felt so comfy.
Fast forward to now. I haven't slept at my place in about two months as he suggests I come over everyday. I come home from work to his place now.
We do so much stuff together. He treats me so well. I haven't felt what I feel and it makes me feel like everyone, including the guy I used do love years ago, was puppy love.
I think I might be falling in love with him. I'm not sure if I should shut up because it's been such a short time or not.
Reddit, what do I do? He's my prince and I don't want to fuck it up. He makes me breakfast, holds me, calls me beautiful everyday.
I just don't know if he loves me yet. Help!
Now before anyone says anything about how this is doomed to fail because we see each other so much- my previous relationships were societally acceptable and according to the dating rules & didn't work. This one is totally working. I just don't want to make him feel uncomfortable or make him feel bad if he doesn't feel it yet.
|
Halp. I think I'm in love with my bf of two months who I maybe accidentally live with and have seen everyday.
|
t3_1ry96b
|
relationship_advice
|
[24/m]My friend that's a girl [24/f] is being terrorized by her ex.
|
We're trying to start a relationship but she has a medical issue that only I, her ex, and her parents know about and he's threatening her with it to keep her from moving on. I don't know what to do I've talked to the guy man to man and he gives me the "I'd never do that to her, I'm a good guy" bullshit response. She doesn't want me to do anything more than talk to him for fear that he'll get pissed and out her. He's telling her that if I become more than her friend (I already am) he's going to ruin her life. She's constantly sad and feels trapped and watching her go through this is killing me cause I can't do anything to stop this guy without it potentially putting her at risk.
|
Her ex is threatening to out her medical issue if she moves on even though she broke it off 3 months ago he won't give up.
|
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