monomer/program_peace · Datasets at Hugging Face

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e Reframe the offenses of others as shortcomings in priorities judgment social maturity
and word choice
e Demonstrate more interest in finding a solution than in defending a position
e Retain your peace regardless of the other persons disposition
e Listen to and make an effort to understand others perspectives without interrupting
e Instead of contradicting the contribution of another think about how you can build on
top of it
e Beapsychopath with a heart of gold
e Be absolutely unflappable Pretend you are a god if need be That calm exterior starts as
a bluff but becomes a way of life
e Assume the best or neutral motives in others Maintain an objective stance when
conflict arises
e Instead of taking in the worst from everyone and reacting against it selectively take the
best and channel it into everything you do
Chapter Rise Above Status Conflict
Chapter Endnotes
Andersson L Pearson C Tit for tat The spiraling effect of incivility in the
workplace The Academy of Management Review
Porath C L Erez A Does rudeness really matter The effects of rudeness on
task performance and helpfulness Academy of Management Journal
Sapolsky R M The influence of social hierarchy on primate health Science
Shepherd S V Platt M L Neuroethology of attention in primates In M L Platt
A A Ghazanfar Eds Primate neuroethology pp Oxford University Press
Panksepp J Affective neuroscience of the emotional BrainMind evolutionary
perspectives and implications for understanding depression Dialogues in Clinical Neuroscience
Maletic V M Robinson M Oakes T lyengar S Ball S G Russell J
Neurobiology of depression An integrated view of key findings International Journal of Clinical
Practice
Millan C Peltier M J Cesars way The natural everyday guide to
understanding correcting common dog problems Random House
Conniff R The ape in the corner office Random House
Blair R Coles M Expression recognition and behavioral problems in early
adolescence Cognitive Development pp Stevens D Charman T Blair
R J R Recognition of emotion in facial expressions and vocal tones in children with
psychopathic tendencies The Journal of Genetic Psychology
Blair R J R Responsiveness to distress cues in the child with psycholopathic
tendencies Personality and Individual Differences Levenston G Patrick C
Bradley M Lang P The psychopath as observer Emotion and attention in picture
processing Journal of Abnormal Psychology
Buckholtz J W Treadway M T Cowan R L Woodward N D Benning S D Li R
Ansari M S Baldwin R M Schwartzman A N Shelby E S Smith C E Cole D Kessler
R M Zald D H Mesolimbic dopamine reward system hypersensitivity in individuals
with psychopathic traits Nature neuroscience
PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body
Chapter Finding Happiness Through Playfulness
Composed Kindness
No one can live happily who has regard to himself alone and transforms everything into a question of his own
utility you must live for your neighbor if you would live for yourself Seneca c BCE
Trust men and they will be true to you treat them greatly and they will show themselves great Ralph Waldo
Emerson
People are often hesitant to be nice It is stigmatized When we see polite people they often
cause us to wonder Are they so friendly because they are weak This is a common
contention because being kind often involves slowing down letting others have their way and
handicapping oneself But equating niceness with weakness is fallacious because being nice
doesnt necessarily mean that you allow others to take advantage This is because it is entirely
possible to be selfcomposed when kind Composed kindness has very few costs Employing it
will improve your interpersonal functioning and restore your good faith in others In Chapter
said that people were taking my anxious kindness for weakness making me into a bitter
person You will find that people take your composed kindness for strength making you into a
people person
Every encounter you have with another person is an opportunity for you to practice
composed kindness Keep spreading goodwill whether others reciprocate or not Starting with
unilateral kindness can help you surmount the other persons defense mechanisms Be
prepared to be the cheerful helpful chap in a world full of miserable Scrooges Presume good
faith and positive intentions This eventually brings the best out in everyone You cannot lose so
long as you maintain your sense of enlightened benevolence guided by your personal code
and centered by unbothered breathing
Being Cool Is Disarming
One of the best ways to bring composure to your kindness is by being cool Done right it can
disarm pettiness What does acting cool mean to you To answer this think of the top five
coolest people you know Who would be on your list of the coolest celebrities Who were the
people you looked up to in your youth When have you been cool in the past Channel this
energy Think urbane suave garrulous jocular and levelheaded You want sangfroid verve
cachet and moxie Think firmness of character force of determination steadiness of nerves
unruffled tact and being powerfully goodnatured Keep the word savoirfaire and its
definition in mind the ability to speak or behave appropriately and at ease in social situations
Being cool means not being afraid of being too calm This can make you come off as numb
or detached and that is okay Dont be afraid to zone out on your friends They may take it as
aloofness and try to push you away But if you dont push back and you leave the door open
allowing them to linger many people will choose to hang out and hang loose with you Try to
get them to detach as much as you have proving that forced extraversion isnt necessary
Take breaks from talking and just take in your surroundings Never feel pressured to keep
interacting Lounge in comfortable silences Dont use adrenaline to help you complete your
sentence or help you find that term on the tip of your tongue Dont allow cortisol to dictate
PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body
your personality at the event Instead use serotonin endorphins and oxytocin to help you
build rapport
Being cool is about having sustainable body language in social situations You want to
operate in a way that would not fatigue even if you had to socialize for hours straight
How would you behave if you knew that you would be awake surrounded by people and face
toface interactions for two full days You would have to pace yourself This would require you
to allow plenty of microbreaks to each of various modules Your face voice breath
and posture would have to be indefatigable invulnerable to fatigue And if you were to
maintain your assertiveness for the duration you would have to be very cool Almost every
one of the exercises in this book will enhance your cool Facial massage gut compression
vocal rehab and increasing diaphragm range will all contribute significantly
For your coolness to be tenable in the long term you must act like everyone else is cool
When you treat someone else as though they were cool you validate them Thus the best way
to make yourself seem normal and wellfunctioning is to treat everyone else as normal and
wellfunctioning So act as if you expect the other person to be confident and at ease in

e Reframe the offenses of others as shortcomings in priorities judgment social maturity

and word choice

e Demonstrate more interest in finding a solution than in defending a position

e Retain your peace regardless of the other persons disposition

e Listen to and make an effort to understand others perspectives without interrupting

e Instead of contradicting the contribution of another think about how you can build on

top of it

e Beapsychopath with a heart of gold

e Be absolutely unflappable Pretend you are a god if need be That calm exterior starts as

a bluff but becomes a way of life

e Assume the best or neutral motives in others Maintain an objective stance when

conflict arises

e Instead of taking in the worst from everyone and reacting against it selectively take the

best and channel it into everything you do

Chapter Rise Above Status Conflict

Chapter Endnotes

Andersson L Pearson C Tit for tat The spiraling effect of incivility in the

workplace The Academy of Management Review

Porath C L Erez A Does rudeness really matter The effects of rudeness on

task performance and helpfulness Academy of Management Journal

Sapolsky R M The influence of social hierarchy on primate health Science

Shepherd S V Platt M L Neuroethology of attention in primates In M L Platt

A A Ghazanfar Eds Primate neuroethology pp Oxford University Press

Panksepp J Affective neuroscience of the emotional BrainMind evolutionary

perspectives and implications for understanding depression Dialogues in Clinical Neuroscience

Maletic V M Robinson M Oakes T lyengar S Ball S G Russell J

Neurobiology of depression An integrated view of key findings International Journal of Clinical

Practice

Millan C Peltier M J Cesars way The natural everyday guide to

understanding correcting common dog problems Random House

Conniff R The ape in the corner office Random House

Blair R Coles M Expression recognition and behavioral problems in early

adolescence Cognitive Development pp Stevens D Charman T Blair

R J R Recognition of emotion in facial expressions and vocal tones in children with

psychopathic tendencies The Journal of Genetic Psychology

Blair R J R Responsiveness to distress cues in the child with psycholopathic

tendencies Personality and Individual Differences Levenston G Patrick C

Bradley M Lang P The psychopath as observer Emotion and attention in picture

processing Journal of Abnormal Psychology

Buckholtz J W Treadway M T Cowan R L Woodward N D Benning S D Li R

Ansari M S Baldwin R M Schwartzman A N Shelby E S Smith C E Cole D Kessler

R M Zald D H Mesolimbic dopamine reward system hypersensitivity in individuals

with psychopathic traits Nature neuroscience

PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body

Chapter Finding Happiness Through Playfulness

Composed Kindness

No one can live happily who has regard to himself alone and transforms everything into a question of his own

utility you must live for your neighbor if you would live for yourself Seneca c BCE

Trust men and they will be true to you treat them greatly and they will show themselves great Ralph Waldo

Emerson

People are often hesitant to be nice It is stigmatized When we see polite people they often

cause us to wonder Are they so friendly because they are weak This is a common

contention because being kind often involves slowing down letting others have their way and

handicapping oneself But equating niceness with weakness is fallacious because being nice

doesnt necessarily mean that you allow others to take advantage This is because it is entirely

possible to be selfcomposed when kind Composed kindness has very few costs Employing it

will improve your interpersonal functioning and restore your good faith in others In Chapter

said that people were taking my anxious kindness for weakness making me into a bitter

person You will find that people take your composed kindness for strength making you into a

people person

Every encounter you have with another person is an opportunity for you to practice

composed kindness Keep spreading goodwill whether others reciprocate or not Starting with

unilateral kindness can help you surmount the other persons defense mechanisms Be

prepared to be the cheerful helpful chap in a world full of miserable Scrooges Presume good

faith and positive intentions This eventually brings the best out in everyone You cannot lose so

long as you maintain your sense of enlightened benevolence guided by your personal code

and centered by unbothered breathing

Being Cool Is Disarming

One of the best ways to bring composure to your kindness is by being cool Done right it can

disarm pettiness What does acting cool mean to you To answer this think of the top five

coolest people you know Who would be on your list of the coolest celebrities Who were the

people you looked up to in your youth When have you been cool in the past Channel this

energy Think urbane suave garrulous jocular and levelheaded You want sangfroid verve

cachet and moxie Think firmness of character force of determination steadiness of nerves

unruffled tact and being powerfully goodnatured Keep the word savoirfaire and its

definition in mind the ability to speak or behave appropriately and at ease in social situations

Being cool means not being afraid of being too calm This can make you come off as numb

or detached and that is okay Dont be afraid to zone out on your friends They may take it as

aloofness and try to push you away But if you dont push back and you leave the door open

allowing them to linger many people will choose to hang out and hang loose with you Try to

get them to detach as much as you have proving that forced extraversion isnt necessary

Take breaks from talking and just take in your surroundings Never feel pressured to keep

interacting Lounge in comfortable silences Dont use adrenaline to help you complete your

sentence or help you find that term on the tip of your tongue Dont allow cortisol to dictate

PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body

your personality at the event Instead use serotonin endorphins and oxytocin to help you

build rapport

Being cool is about having sustainable body language in social situations You want to

operate in a way that would not fatigue even if you had to socialize for hours straight

How would you behave if you knew that you would be awake surrounded by people and face

toface interactions for two full days You would have to pace yourself This would require you

to allow plenty of microbreaks to each of various modules Your face voice breath

and posture would have to be indefatigable invulnerable to fatigue And if you were to

maintain your assertiveness for the duration you would have to be very cool Almost every

one of the exercises in this book will enhance your cool Facial massage gut compression

vocal rehab and increasing diaphragm range will all contribute significantly

For your coolness to be tenable in the long term you must act like everyone else is cool

When you treat someone else as though they were cool you validate them Thus the best way

to make yourself seem normal and wellfunctioning is to treat everyone else as normal and

wellfunctioning So act as if you expect the other person to be confident and at ease in