text
stringlengths 31
99
| humor
bool 2
classes |
---|---|
Why don't blind people skydive? it scares the fuck out of the dog.
| true |
Why did the baker go to work? he kneaded the dough!
| true |
What do you get if you cross a phone with a rooster? a wake-up call!
| true |
Some day, canada will take over the world. and then we'll all be sorry.
| true |
Rudy giuliani: trump is 'greatest victory for people of america since andrew jackson'
| false |
Car alarms should sound like two chicks in a fight. i'd look out the window for that.
| true |
Hey websites, i will always skip intro, so knock it off.
| true |
‘late show’ imagines donald trump adjusting to life after steve bannon
| false |
Tales of presidential transition woe, with the associated press
| false |
What do you call someone who's studied old norse literature and become an expert. well edda-cated.
| true |
This guy's instagram account is the definition of #thirdwheelgoals
| false |
Sen. cotton may think guantanamo and hell are different. my client does not.
| false |
What's a horse's favorite dance the neigh neigh
| true |
10 reality shows that embraced the adventure of the open road
| false |
Do deaf people have a right to a fair hearing?
| true |
What does a can of tuna say? premium flaked tuna best before dd/mm/yy
| true |
What do you call an arrogant criminal walking down the stairs? a condescending con descending.
| true |
Looks like putin will be having turkey for thanksgiving
| true |
What's the best thing about having sex with twenty-two year olds? there are twenty of them.
| true |
What do you get when you drop a piano down a mineshaft? a-flat-minor
| true |
'suicide squad' made its bed with a key donald trump supporter
| false |
First caribou: what kind of math do owls like? second caribou: owlgebra.
| true |
Lgbtq community: it's more important to vote now than ever before
| false |
Iran arrests fashion models in social media crackdown
| false |
I'm not allowed at the gym anymore because i dropped my chili dog on the treadmill
| true |
Hilarious: 5 ways in which parents put us through tortures during our childhood!
| true |
Festivus 2016: here are some of the grievances we're airing this year
| false |
I don't drink water anymore, not after what it did to the grand canyon
| true |
Dreamers are our students and we must protect them
| false |
Picking the perfect disney resort for you (photos)
| false |
What do you call a puppy with a camera? a furtographer
| true |
I had to use my glasses when playing tennis. because its a no contact sport.
| true |
Q. what's a man's idea of honestly in a relationship? a. telling you his real name.
| true |
My productivity at work has gone down 43% since corporate bought me a swivel chair.
| true |
Joy management: how to have a great week
| false |
Nuart aberdeen 2017 already has locals saying 'haste ye back!'
| false |
What do you call a fear of alkaline? a ph-obia
| true |
5 tips so you can finally write your memoir
| false |
What does a woman trucker and a hockey team have in common? they both shower after 3 periods!
| true |
5 quick parenting tips to save your sanity
| false |
Everything you need to know about turkey (gifs)
| false |
Here is powerful proof that abusive words are literally weapons
| false |
Nypd sergeant in eric garner's death faces departmental charges
| false |
What do you call a cow that doesn't give milk? a milk dud!
| true |
Why do leprechauns laugh when they run? because the grass tickles their balls.
| true |
Tweeting with an egg avatar is like showing up to a job interview in a sweatsuit.
| true |
Pat benatar style evolution: from animal print leotards to black two-piece suits (photos)
| false |
Gop lawmaker pushes white house to aid allies in islamic state fight
| false |
Did you hear about the woman with guns for tits? she was pretty barrel-chested.
| true |
What does a tech geek say when they're taking a shit? clearing my cache.
| true |
Michigan tells gay couples their marriages basically 'never existed'
| false |
Americans don't really care about typhoon haiyan, study says
| false |
Mom says 2-year-old son’s death triggered her gambling addiction: ‘i blame myself for his death’
| false |
Fellas; there's no heterosexual way of taking a selfie.
| true |
The two secrets of life 1. don't tell everyone everything you know.
| true |
Paul ryan shrugs off donald trump's claim about the media downplaying terrorist attacks
| false |
What's the difference between jam and marmalade? you can't marmalade your dick down a girls throat.
| true |
How do dogs enjoy sex? they like it ruff.
| true |
*uses public restroom **squats so long walks out with buns of steel
| true |
Why is a miscarriage like a shitty pizza? they're both cold upon delivery.
| true |
Everyone was dreaming of working for steve jobs except his pancreas
| true |
Why is it called a living room? don't we live in every room?
| true |
Almost every comedian you love is in this trailer
| false |
See emma watson's glorious 'harry potter' reunion with costars
| false |
Roses are red. violets are blue. if he's busy on valentine's day, the side chic is you.
| true |
What to wear to a wedding -- guest outfits for weddings
| false |
John oliver calls out the academy for hypocrisy after weinstein decision
| false |
Gop lawmaker on rob porter abuse allegations: 'why are we still talking about it?'
| false |
A man who took an airline company to court after his luggage went missing has lost his case.
| true |
Why does felix baumgartner needs parachute.. when red bull gives you wings.
| true |
House sets up vote on flint funding in bid to avert government shutdown
| false |
Where do star wars rebel officers eat? the admiral snackbar.
| true |
In 2005, the gop apologized for exploiting racial polarization
| false |
Love your former self, even if she doesn't make it easy
| false |
Check out 100 years of drag kings and male impersonation in two minutes
| false |
Wife asked what was on the tv... i said dust. that's when the fight started.
| true |
Why did the skeleton's dick float? because he had a hollow weenie.
| true |
Gop lawmaker injured in congressional baseball shooting calls for greater security
| false |
How did the farmer feel after he ripped his clothing? let's just say he felt overall sadness.
| true |
Rihanna. sorry, i put the punch line in the tittle.
| true |
The lesson i learned from the gift of a pumpkin: how to find family fun on halloween
| false |
Why do penguins never go to england? because they're afraid of wales!
| true |
I'm very keen i could tell he was bald at the drop of a hat.
| true |
28 pieces from 2015 that should be required reading for women
| false |
Right-wing media politicize murder of nypd officer to attack black lives matter, hillary, and obama
| false |
Huffpost rise: what you need to know on june 8
| false |
Why are asymptomatic cardiology patients so trustworthy? because they can't tell afib
| true |
Why do you never play hide & seek with mountains? mountains peak.
| true |
Mark wahlberg jokes about will ferrell’s drinking at golden globes
| false |
I've never vaccinated any of my kids... i just pay the pediatrician to do it.
| true |
Cash dying as credit card payments predicted to grow in volume: report
| false |
Giving me a milkbone after sex does not make it doggy style
| true |
Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon? there was no atmosphere
| true |
Daddy, how do stars die? why do you ask, sun?
| true |
Nypd cop didn't use excessive force in fatal shooting, jury finds
| false |
Hell has free wifi but no outlets for phone chargers.
| true |
Where do cows like to live? st. moo-is.
| true |
You know how horny the romans were back then? for fuck's sake, they even nailed jesus!
| true |
I ordered some glue online but it hasn't arrived yet must have gotten stuck in the post.
| true |
Julep ta da! quick dry drops dries nail polish super fast
| false |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.