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t3_1v6423
|
relationships
|
Me [19M] with my GF [19 F] of 2 years, long-distance problems
|
My girlfriend of 2 years went to university 4 hours away while I stayed back at home to earn money for next year university.
It started off fine, with us skyping and texting all the time. From September to November I drove to visit her 3 times, and she came home once. Every time we were together, things were great, but sometime in October was when just texting and skyping became harder and harder.
We talked about it and found out that I was completely fine with just texting, while she did not like only texting and needed to skype. I am not too into skype, as I feel like i cannot keep up a conversation and if I woulf do anything other than try to talk to her, she would get upset.
By November, she hates her school. She did not make any friends, her residence is horrible, and she only enjoys a couple of her classes. I feel completely helpless, since my normal avenue of comfort would be to hold her and let her talk it out to me. She starts to put pressure on me as her only source of happiness, and if i can't help her right away i feel terrible and she gets upset, not with me, but at the situation.
By the time she comes home for the Christmas break, she thinks the relationship is going terribly and does not know what she will be coming home to. I thought we were doing okay for long-distance, but she had other thoughts. However, we ended up having a great break, seeing each other just about every other day. She has just left for university for second semester, and I'm just looking for any advice to get around our long-distance problems.
|
After seeing how poorly the first time long-distance went, I would like any advice on making it work.
|
t3_42kcrx
|
relationships
|
Missing the "spark" in my relationship??
|
I [21F] have been in a relationship with my bf [23M] for 3 years. We've just recently had a kid. He's working full time and I'm a full time student/stay at home mom.
I love him to death. He is my best friend and I know he's the one for me but I feel empty. There's no spark in our life. No surprises, no cute cliche things, nothing that gives me butterflies and makes my heart race. We also haven't connected sexually in a long time because it is so painful after child birth and sex is really important to him.
I just don't know what to do. I haven't told anybody this and it's really hard for me to be doing this now and I don't know where else to go but I need advice or help or something.
|
missing the spark in my relationship. Feeling lost.
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t3_1ubikx
|
legaladvice
|
AZ - I pressed charges against my ex-boyfriend after he abused me. He failed to complete counseling, a warrant was issued, and subsequently quashed. This isn't justice - what can I do?
|
My ex-boyfriend physically abused me, which resulted in several severe contusions as well as a fractured tailbone. This was the second time he put his hands on me - the first time was in a choking manner without much real force, but executed with real menace.
He originally pled guilty to the charges of Disorderly Conduct - DV and Assault - DV. However, I assume after consulting a lawyer, he changed his plea to not guilty. My advocate urged me to allow an offering of a plea deal. He told me that a conviction would be difficult, the process of trials would be long, and would make things harder on me in the long run. I took his advice, insisting that his plea include Domestic Violence. He accepted the plea on the condition that he complete Domestic Violence counseling, he was assessed a measly fine of $350.00 and was ordered to pay for my eyeglasses that he broke as well as my doctor bills.
He paid the fine, I received the money I was owed, and to my knowledge he did begin counseling. But he told me himself that the counseling was a joke and he stopped going. A warrant was issued for his arrest, and 8 months later, the warrant has been quashed. It makes me sick to know that he went virtually unpunished for hurting me so badly. My world was turned upside down for so long because of what he did. We had lived together, so all of my belongings except for my clothes stayed with him. Televisions. Electronics. Furniture. I moved 2 hours away to live with my parents, so I was without work. I lost weight, developed a drinking problem for about 4 months, some days I would sit in my room with the shades drawn and just lay there, not moving, for entire days.
Isn't there any way to seek justice for what he did? I don't understand how the warrant for his arrest could just go away. Is there anything I can do?
|
My ex-boyfriend violated the terms of a plea deal by not completing DV counseling. His warrant was just quashed. How can I seek justice? I don't understand how he can get away with what he did.
|
t3_3lfnab
|
relationships
|
Coworker (37ishF) wants me (26f) to buy her stuff.
|
I feel like she's always trying to manipulate me. She's always on my case because I'm introverted and straightforward when I do engage in conversation. She calls me rude daily (she says she's really sensitive to word choice. I think she's just a shitty person). The word choice thing results in us fighting in very chipper voices. It's ridiculous.
She went into the fridge and took a big bite out of my breakfast burrito I was saving for lunch. She laughed about it and said anytime I go to this place (it's my favorite coffeehouse I go there at least once a week) she wants me to buy her a burrito and she will pay me back. Logistically speaking, this isn't a big deal but I don't like her and I don't want to do that for her. I also don't want to have to think up excuses every time I show up with a coffee from this place. I also don't want her on me about being "rude". How the fuck do I deal with her?
|
how do I be a girl around other girls?
|
t3_1bqalm
|
relationships
|
I hate my boyfriend's dog, what to do?
|
OK, I am a 28/f and he is a 34/m. We have been seeing each other for around 3 months. I love animals in general, so that isn't really the issue. In this whole time we have been seeing each other, his dog has destroyed my property on many occasions, the latest incident being that he pissed on my down pillows. When we are doing ANYTHING like watching tv or eating, this dog is crawling all over us and trying to lick us and get our food. I slept over here last night, and he just barked his loud and shrill bark ALL FUCKING NIGHT. I never thought such a small dog (he's a schnauzer) could wreak so much havoc. My bf apologizes for the dog's behavior but I have yet to see any of my property replaced. I am considering breaking up with an otherwise perfectly good guy because of a damn small dog; PLEASE HELP :(
|
My boyfriend has an asshole dog, is this a deal-breaker?
|
t3_2q9y6q
|
relationships
|
I [22F] need perspective about my boyfriend [24M].
|
I love him. He's great. He has his finances and life in order. He picks me up and drives me home. And he doesn't mind that I want to split the bill whenever we go out. He's also very physically affectionate which I really like. We're always holding hands and we kiss a lot.
The problem is he is very emotionally needy. If I don't respond in a certain time frame, he gets really upset. And he even told me about how he wants me to initiate text messages more so okay, I started to do that but it feels like an obligation. It also feels like he wants to text all the time which I'm not really cool with. But apparently texting frequently is important to him. We had a discussion about it.
I guess I'm realizing that we aren't really compatible. I don't really want to break up but I'm not sure what to do. I asked him to go to counseling for his self-esteem issues but he refused.
|
I think my boyfriend and I aren't compatible.
|
t3_4ttw8q
|
relationships
|
My girlfriend [22F] of three years has been feeling useless and worthlese and thinks that breaking up with me [22M] will fix that? [xpost /r/relationship_advice]
|
So I've been dating this girl. And she's amazing. The amount of support she provides me is just unreal and the things that she's done for me are unbelievable. But she's slowly lost who she was (she feels this way, I don't fully agree). When I met her she was smart, driven. She wasn't like other girls, preoccupied with frivolities, she could hold a meaningful conversation. She had plans
But since she's been dating me she's slowly lost these things. She didn't study as hard for as college exams as she should have. She managed to get into a decent post graduate course, but again she didn't study much during her semester. She's progressively becomes disinterested in things and lately just hasnt been doing anythung and lately we've had a few arguments over that. Like I pushed her too hard towards a few opportunities and she's the type who's like unless I feel like doing something, I won't do it. While I say that right now just take up something.
She now feels very useless and just worthless and doesn't know what to do and how to fix it. She feels that before she met me she was a certain way and now if we break up she'll just go back to that.
I'm personally devastated by the thought of this. Like I can't really accept it. I think that there's a possibility that she might be clinically depressed. But she says that after breaking up she'll go back to the person she was.
I don't know what to say or do. Like I asked what happens if it doesn't work that way. She said wait for me.
I understand that she just wants to do something to escape the void she's in. How do I show her that this isn't the way?
|
Girlfriend has become less motivated and more useless over the course of three years while dating me, thinks breaking up will fix that. I think it could be clonal depression, but she's not listening.
|
t3_3llfar
|
Advice
|
Should I help my girlfriend of 2 months
|
Me, my girlfriend, and 6 of her friends went to the hookah lounge for two of her friends birthdays. One out home one of her friends did a misdemeanor hit and run. My girlfriend's friend ran because she was charged with a federal crime just a few months back, so she is out on bail. To make matters worse the car belonged to my girlfriends sister.
The friend wasn't arrested and so the police towed the car and to make matters worse the tags are old. The car is currently on hold and the earliest they can get it is Monday. They will probably end somewhere close to spending a total of 400ish for registration and getting it back. Its the family's only working car and none of them have the money to do it. My girlfriend was even questioning just sleeping around for some quick money but I'm not okay with that, so I told her no.
I don't have the cash on me atm either because I just Fixed my own car up and got a Foo Fighters ticket, but I could take a payday loan out to help them out of the jam they are in. I get paid biweekly and make about 600$ per paycheck so it wouldn't kill me to do it, I'll just be low on cash
|
my girlfriend's friend did a misdemeanor hit and run, got her sister's car towed because of it. The car is her sister's, and family's only vehicle. Questioning if I should help them because they can't do it by themselves.
|
t3_nfs42
|
legaladvice
|
(NJ) Debt collectors just emptied my bank account. What can I do?
|
Throwaway account for obvious reasons. So a while ago my mother and sister committed credit card fraud and took out several cards in my name and never made payments on them. I was attending college and not living at home. I had absolutely no idea this was going on until about a year ago, and they were very good at throwing away any mail I got about the issue. And not actually having a credit card myself, I was unaware of the consequences of this. I couldn't exactly turn them in since they are family, and much of the money spent on the cards went to paying our house's mortgage.
Well two days ago I went to buy dinner to find out my bank account was empty. Apparently one of the suits against me went through, and they took all $2190 in my bank account. I literally having nothing. I can't afford gas to drive to work, I can't afford food. I have no money what-so-ever. I called my bank and found out the total amount awarded to the debt agency was $2500, so they will certainly be taking more in the future. At this point I immediately canceled my direct deposit. But now I have no idea what to do. I know all the debt has been bought by various collection agencies. I have no idea who owns what debt, how many suits are against me, or even how much all of it is (Though I have a rough estimate that it is over $10,000). I don't want to live my life afraid to deposit money in my bank account for fear that it will just be taken from me. At this point I have no choice but to pay for what they did, but I have no idea who to pay. And at this point I'm afraid its too late to negotiate with anyone. There has to be a better option than living like a hobo without a bank account and hiding my money under my mattress. So how to I even begin to put back together my life after this?
|
Family took out credits cards in my name and never paid them back. Debt collectors are taking their money. How do I fix my life?
|
t3_2o6g9a
|
relationships
|
My [27 M] best friend [27 F] is gaining weight and I need your advice on whether I should talk to her about it, and if so, how I should talk to her about it.
|
My best friend, "Sarah" is an awesome person. We have been close friends for about four years. She is like the sister I never had. We tell each other anything and everything and spend a ton of time together. She's the first female friend I've ever had where there is absolutely no sexual tension. It's a great dynamic and I love her to death.
Lately, she has started to put on some weight. It's nothing extreme, maybe about 30-40 pounds in the past year. I am struggling about whether I should talk to her about it. I personally don't give a shit how she looks as long as she is happy. The thing is, though, she's kind of been feeling down lately about her lack of a love life and is struggling with self-esteem issues. It's possible that losing a few pounds could really give her the confidence boost she needs. I could be wrong about that, though.
I want to be a good friend for her, but at the same time I don't want to hurt her feelings. I've been going back and forth about this for a few weeks and don't want to talk to mutual friends about it, because quite frankly, it's not their business. Any advice or feedback is greatly appreciated. Thanks!
|
My best friend has gained a decent amount of weight; I don't care, but losing weight could be beneficial for her self-esteem. I don't know whether I should encourage her to lose the weight or just stay away from the issue.
|
t3_2p5fu5
|
relationships
|
Argument between me (m, 21) and my girlfriend (18), am I justified being pissed off?
|
1 year in. We work together. I went in there today about an hour and a half before she finished work to buy some things for Christmas. I hung around the centre to buy other things. Just before she finished I had headed back in, and she said "Are you waiting for me to finish? You've been here for ages."
I said no, I've got heaps of shopping to do.
A few minutes later she finished as I was standing outside the store with my back to it, texting people asking for advice on Christmas gifts. She walked up behind me and said "I'm going", from about 2 metres away, as she was walking away.
Perplexed, I just responded "Ok?" as I watched her walk off, wondering what the hell just happened.
I sent her a text a minute later saying "Wtf was that?" and she responded "You were the one being weird."
I said back "How?! I'm just shopping and trying to think of what to buy everyone."
She responded "Ok I'm at [store] if you want to see me."
I was pissed off and not wanting to go to her when she had been pretty rude to me, so I reponded "Nah don't even worry about it."
We've been arguing since, with her point being "All I did was let you know I'm heading home. All you had to do was kiss me goodbye or walk me to my bus, clearly I expected too much, sorry."
I'm of the opinion that it was fucking rude to greet me the way she did, and am sick of her inability to understand how her responses will affect me. So am I being oversensitive?
|
My girlfriend greeted me with "I'm going" as she was walking away and got pissed off when I responded with "ok". Who fucked up here?
|
t3_3kyiag
|
personalfinance
|
Employer refusing to pay for two days of my two weeks notice: Can they do this?
|
I gave two weeks' notice to my previous job (at a private daycare in CT) so that I could start another teaching job for the new school year.
Because this was the last two weeks of the school year, we had one final week of school and one 'clean up' week (no kids around so teachers could clean/redecorate rooms).
The previous pay date was that last week of school, so my final paycheck should have been for 40 hours during the 'cleanup' week.
Of this cleanup week, employees were only there Monday, Thursday, and Friday, with notice that employees didn't have to come in Tuesday and Wednesday because the floors were being cleaned/other construction.
It was understood that full time employees would be paid for these days (this has been the case in similar situations in the past).
When I got my final paycheck, I was only paid for 3 of the days that week - they didn't pay me for the days that we weren't there due to construction. I was never told that they would not be paying me for those days.
My coworkers were paid for the full week, so I contacted my previous employer wondering if there was a mistake in my paycheck. My employer's response was:
* Being paid for the construction days was "a privilege for current employees only".
* There was "no point" to paying me for those days because I would be leaving after that week of work.
I replied saying that shouldn't matter: I was still a full time employee until my last day (friday), despite having given them my two weeks' notice.
I have had issues in the past dealing with the office at this job, and one of the reasons that I left was that they were rude/unprofessional and hard to deal with.
I'm hoping to get some advice about this situation. Can my last employer treat my pay differently than other employees because I was going to be leaving? If not, what is my best course of action to get paid for these days? I did some searching and it sounds like contacting my state's department of labor might be a good option.
|
Last job refusing to pay me for days that other employees were paid for because I had given my two week's notice to quit. Is there anything I can do about this?
|
t3_c74bz
|
AskReddit
|
Reddit, what is the most awesome job you've ever had?
|
I currently am at work and thinking about how awesome I have it. I sit here doing data entry and trying to find info on people. I am the only one here on weekends... Right now I am having a typical day for me
I am sitting here doing my work, mostly. I have a projector hooked up and I am watching Movies/Firefly/Doctor Who as I work. My boss got the projector out for me just so I could watch shows. My big boss once came in while I was doing this and needed to see my computer. His comment "Oh, good movie" I am the only one that can do this kinda stuff here. I also can come and go as I please, work as many or as few hours as I wish and take breaks whenever. I get a key to the building.
Tonight I will go to my brother's and spend the night, while he is not home, and tomorrow whenever I wake up I will come in and work until I am tired of working. I do have to get back to work now (I actually do spend most the time working). I want to hear about your most awesome jobs when I get back.
I sign all my passive-aggressive notes as "The Phantom" (And on occasion Erik) because I've not met any of my co-workers.
|
I watch movies all day and find people's contact info. What is your best job?
|
t3_269xyx
|
relationships
|
Why do women tend to lose themselves while in a relationship? Me: [26F] Him: [26M] 3.5 years
|
I've been in a relationship for 3.5 years now and I'm starting to feel like I've focused more on my partner and have lost myself along the way. Even though he doesn't demand a lot of attention, I still make my world all about him. Because of this, I haven't paid attention to my needs and likes and dislikes which has led to insecurity.
I really love this person and I know that my insecurities and spending too much time together is driving us apart. We are planning on moving in together this year and I really want to become the positive, strong and confident woman that I once was before we live together.
All that he wants is for me to be happy with myself and to have my own hobbies. If I start to focus on myself, would it help to bring back the "spark" that we once had?
|
What are some steps I can take to focus on myself more? Does absence really make the heart grow fonder?
|
t3_4ezodl
|
relationships
|
Me [21 M] with my former organization president [25 F], how do I deal with condescension?
|
We have different management styles. As president, I am much more relaxed. She, on the other hand, needs everything planned down to the minute. I still get things done, however. In my tenure, I fundraised more money than any of the 3 presidents have, allowing my organization to give more scholarship money to underprivileged children. That is definitely a plus in my legacy.
However, she came in to visit the other day and that marked the start of basically 24/7 non-stop condescension. She was not satisfied with my management style and proceeded to re-plan everything I had planned. I heard it through her voice on the phone. She condescended to me at meetings in front of all the other board members. She condescended to me in front of the children we worked with. It's real. I talked to another board member and she said she felt the condescension from her toward me.
I'm a very calm person normally, and I ignored it each time, reminding myself that I got shit done in this organization. I wasn't about to start an argument in front of the children, or in front of the board members. I have an organization to run and children that need good examples and my feelings and ego can take the hit for a while.
She's now inserting herself into the election process for the next year. She hasn't been part of the organization for years. Her only link is that she was a president a few years back. She was supposed to call me today at 5 PM but she didn't. When she does call me, I plan on addressing the condescension. What should I say? I was planning on something like: "I don't need to be verbally put-down to get stuff done." or "I understand your frustration, but talking to me in the manner you did doesn't help."
|
I'm dealing with a condescending person at work, how can I stop their condescension?
|
t3_3f30uk
|
legaladvice
|
What is the best way to approach a prosecutor about arranging a plea deal?
|
Charge: Misdemeanor, Shoplifting < $200
State: Virginia
To the point, I did it, though there were some extenuating circumstances. Not saying that any of this is a good reason, though it's where my mind was at the time. I've been a long time suffer of PTSD (mostly in the form of anxiety). Lately, I've also been under a lot of pressure at work, and extreme amount of financial stress. To top it all off, there was a lapse in my medication, leaving me kind of frazzled and not thinking clearly. In the middle of panic attack, I made a poor judgement call and was caught.
This is my first offense and I was cooperative throughout everything. I've also gotten back on my meds and arranged to start up therapy again. Additionally, in an effort to show my commitment to fixing myself, I've completed the NASP evaluation (which said that my actions were unlikely to become habitual and most likely resulted from sudden extreme stress) and shoplifting prevention course.
Unfortunately, I don't qualify for assistance from a public defender (I make $200/month too much). I don't know that I can actually afford to hire my own lawyer though, and I'm worried about a shoplifting charge on my record screwing up job prospects for me.
As such, I'd like to approach the prosecutor about a potential charge reduction. I know I'm incredibly unlikely to get the charges dismissed. What's the best I can hope to get, and how should I go about making the approach?
Alternately, am I in over my head and should I simply tighten my belt and hire a lawyer?
|
Trying to reduce shoplifting charges. Done everything I can think of to improve my chances and get my life back together. Not sure I can afford a lawyer. What are my best options?
|
t3_3i2zhq
|
tifu
|
TIFU by Hitchhiking
|
Let set the scene, I'm in college, the first week just ended, so me and a group of friends are hanging out downtown. The dorms are separated from down town by about a 45 minute walk, and buses are the main way to get around for Freshmen. So here I am, with about 6 friends, waiting around at this bus stop. Me, being the impatient prick that I am, decided to hitch a ride back, expecting my friends to be on the bus shortly after I'm gone.
So I hop in this guys car, a couple of the guys in the group join, because they never hitched before and wanted to try. Its not till I get back that I realize, every single guy in the group came with me, leaving the girls downtown all alone. Great job so far, am I right? But wait, it gets even better. Being the smart college kids we are, one of decided it would be real funny to call them, leave a voicemail saying they had an important message and then just hang up, funny right?
Now I have a group of girls who are pissed that I abandoned them, but also angry about that. Finally the piece du resistance we've all been waiting for. It turns out that the buses were shut down, which meant, they had to walk back to the dorms. Ain't that just dandy?
|
Jumped in car and girls walk a mile
|
t3_2ck7uz
|
relationships
|
Me [21 M] with my friend[21 F] duration, rejected 2 years ago confession now.
|
I tried to date her and she said at the time that she saw me too much of a brother(brother-zoned!) and that she rather keep it like that. Now two years ago I was a 300 pound guy.
Two years passed, and I'm actually moving states for two years, and she called me out to tell me that she had been very immature two years ago and that she realized that she does like me. I am now a fit, 240 pound guy.
To that I responded that even though I would like to replicate those feelings I was moving(she knows this) and that I couldn't do anything about it. Now a group of friends planned a trip out which is a couple and the two of us. To be honest I still like her, but I am moving for a while and I don't believe in long distance at all.
The question is: Should I tell her that I still like her, and in the future I might seek her out again if I return? -Would this be better for the friendship as well? I do enjoy her company and her a lot, and no other girl makes me feel like she does, but I'm moving to a new place.
|
My bestfriend told me she likes me after 2 years when I got rejected. Should I tell her I still like her as well, even though I am leaving the state for the next two years?
|
t3_1hjt7b
|
relationship_advice
|
My longtime friend was a terrible boyfriend to his ex. We've fallen for each other but she says she can't be with me. Help?
|
My longtime friend was dumped by his girlfriend several months ago. He doesn't have many friends, mostly due to his hostile attitude and severe video game addiction. I have known him for about 20 years and he has never really wronged me in any personal way. I have long been attracted to his ex, even before they dated, and last night we confessed our feelings for each other, kissed, use your imagination etc. I knew he was a shitty boyfriend, but the things she told me make me cringe. He had been jobless for well over a year by the time of their breakup, but she revealed to me that he quit the same month that she received a large sum of money for a settlement. He continue to live off of her and did not actively look for work, instead playing video games all the time. During their breakup, he also threatened to stab her next boyfriend (uh-oh).
Jump forward a few months. I've still been hanging out with friend. He has basically begged me not to hook up with his ex. I told him he had nothing to worry about. That was until last night, went after a few drinks at the bars with friends, we kissed. It seems like we started falling for each other immediately. I hadn't felt love like this for years.
We discussed how complicated it would be to date due to my friends aggressive, irrational behavior. If he found out, I could actually be in danger. Alternatively, he might also hurt himself. She told me she can't be with me, cried, and left before dawn.
I spent today an emotional mess. I feel shitty for doing this behind my friends back - but on the other hand, I don't know if I really want to count him as a friend. And I honestly haven't felt an attraction to anyone like this for years. Is there something I can do to make this work? Or should I accept that we just simply can't be together?
|
I want to be with a girl who dumped a shitty "friend" of mine. He might kill me if I do, so she says we can't date, even though we've fallen for each other.
|
t3_23j8dm
|
relationships
|
Me [21 M] with [22 F], feels like a game, trying to figure out what to do after last night.
|
Gotten continually mixed signals from this girl, finally decided to just not worry about casually pursuing her around late last week. Then all of a sudden we end up at the same music show, and she's a bit tipsy and far more flirty and dances on me and stuff, and even gave me a peck on the cheek. And...I have trouble reciprocating for a few reasons, one of which being the previous mixed signals. In addition:
* Coming from a conservative not-much physical affection family and only having been in one relationship, I'm not as comfortable being affectionate/sexually open in super public places yet.
* I've got some shyness and anxiety going on, the latter of which was exacerbated by a slight amount of weed.
* I had no idea whether it was just the alcohol doing this. Not to blame her for anything, just would feel stupid if she sobered up and didn't give a fuck about me.
So, what ends up happening is I sort of try my best to be near her and maybe brush up on her a bit, but we drift away, she and her girl-friend go to the bathroom, and then try to head out without saying goodbye, so I'm assuming I messed something up?
I would try to talk to her, but one of the biggest sort of mixed-signal things is she's never really communicated much as far as texting/Facebook goes, and I feel weird bringing up where I usually see her at her workplace. Just don't want to leave it on this note, but maybe I'm blowing it up due to overthinking and anxiety. What do you guys think?
|
Mixed-signals girl gets flirty while having a good time at a show, I fail to reciprocate equally, awkwardness ensues.
|
t3_hs7sb
|
relationship_advice
|
How do you do damage control after you drunkenly lead someone on who you have absolutely no interest in?
|
We have mutual friends, so there's a good chance I'll be seeing him again. He's not unattractive or crazy; he's just not my type, and I don't have any feelings for him whatsoever. Dirty dancing and exchanging of numbers took place, nothing more. In my defense, he'd only had one or two, and I was so drunk I couldn't even put his number in my phone without his help. This was the second time we met; the first time we met I could tell he was into me, but I wasn't drunk, so I didn't flirt back. I don't want to be rude, but I want to be honest and genuine, advice? I'm not letting this happen in the future.
|
Getting drunk around people who wanna get with you is risky business.
|
t3_2nzfrq
|
relationships
|
Me [21M] struggling with accepting a single partner / first long term commitment with my SO [20F].
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Me and the lady have been together now for 5 months and we're well past the territory of the longest relationship I've ever been in. Everything I've ever had were short flings or sub 2 month things that never really worked out. Well to keep the romance story short I met this lady and we hit off and we've been meeting up 3 or 4 times a week and spending weekends over and just been having an absolute blast -- the relationship is still amazing and I'm having zero issues with that. Yes we have our little arguments but we know to give each other space and know when to drop things and always talk about issues when things cool off and I think it's a pretty damn healthy relationship.
Nonetheless I just can not shake this feeling of my 21 year old self saying *"You really want to potentially commit forever NOW?"* I've always told myself I'd never try to get into anything super serious before my mid to late 20's because I wanted to spend this one time of my life I'm like this just exploring my options and making mistakes and just fooling around. But I find this woman who isn't perfect but is more than I could ever ask for in a serious relationship and I just don't know what to do.
I don't want to break up with her and just be single and fucking around again because she does make me so fucking happy but I just can't shake this itch saying do you really want to spend the best years of your life and potentially your life with *one* person romantically? I know this isn't exactly a problem with a set solution but I would just love to hear your guys'/gals' thoughts on the matter or if you've gone through something like this.
**P.S.:** I have already brought this up with her in casual conversation and while she does understand and did say that's okay and normal for me to think I do not think she can really empathize with my situation as she has always been one for committed long term relationships.
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Am still young and dumb but found someone amazing and am struggling with the concept of commitment. I don't want to break up with her or end it to 'explore my options' more or whatever but I still can't shake this aching itch of *"holy shit I'm actually signing my availability away right now to this one person, am I strong enough / mature enough / whatever enough to really do this?"* I can't pin it down exactly but I guess it's a confidence issue more than anything else and a fear of the future if I'm really ready to do this.
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t3_15wec5
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AskReddit
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What's the best/worst dream you ever had?
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I have a lot of dreams that tend to show me future events where bad things happen and I die a lot. Just last night I was on a trip to Colorado and I was hiking in the woods, it got dark and I was searching for someone. I shined my flashlight down the path to see a bunch of eyes glaring back at me, coming closer. I turned around to see what would have been people with flashlights running towards me, except I could only see their lights, not them, not the flashlight itself, just the light it would have emitted though it moved as if someone were carrying it while running. As I retreated from my current path I took a wrong turn and got ambushed by these things and died.
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I die on a trip to Colorado while hiking....
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t3_glezs
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AskReddit
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Does divorce have a silver lining?
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Being a child of divorce, I learned coping mechanisms growing up. Now that I am older it feels like it is time to look back on the differences in my life because of it. With the divorce rate being something nearing 50% I know I'm not alone. Whats the best thing you found about divorced parents (besides 2 Christmases)
Mine is, I have one parent who does well, and one parent who has no money. The one who does well, cosigns for me. The one who has no money is the one I was living with, and filed fafsa with. Bonus!
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Whats the best thing about your parents getting divorced?
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t3_1ruojy
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relationships
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My SO[20/M] has had quite a few relationships. How do I[20/F] overcome my insecurities?
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My SO and I have been together for a couple of months. We're both very happy in our relationship so far.
I've come across some photo's and gifs of my boyfriend and his exes together(most of which you see him and kissing one of the exes) and even some poems for some of them. He does not mind me seeing this, which I suppose is good, and confirms it's over and that he just wants to keep that kind of things. He has told me he wouldn't have started a relationship with me if he wasn't over any of his exes and we can openly discuss my insecurities about this topic. This does still makes me insecure, though. I find myself comparing myself to these other girls and I wonder if I can compete.
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How do I rationalize my insecurities about his past girlfriend?
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t3_4drtnb
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relationships
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I (21 m) think I'm losing one of my best friends
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I have two best friends. I've known both for a very long time and one of my friends (we can call him chris) has been seemingly becoming distant to me and my other friend (we can call him john). John and I recently moved into an apartment together after talking about it for a while, we always wanted to get a 3 bedroom place so we could all live together. But sadly Chris has never had a real job so he decided he wouldn't be able to live with us. I don't think that's why he's been distant since he started being more secluded before we even talked about moving in. John and I have brought it up with Chris before but he anyways says nothing is wrong. I know he's struggled with depression before but I'm honestly scared I'm losing my brother. He's been there my whole life, is one ofy best men in my wedding next year and honestly it's breaking my heart that this is happening. I don't know where else to go. Has anyone else experienced this? I need help guys I don't want him to think whatever is going on he needs to go through it alone.
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one of my best friends is becoming more and more distant and idk what to do.
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t3_1l0cbr
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offmychest
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This is much more lighthearted, so you can laugh at me. But I really want to tell someone.
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For as long as I can remember, I have truly believed that Ben Affleck and Ben Stiller were the same person, and that they were both Ben Stiller. I don't know how this happened. I remember seeing Affleck at the Oscars and wondering, "Wow, he must have been in a terrible accident. His face is completely different." It did not occur to me that they are completely different actors. When I saw Good Will Hunting, I heard that Affleck wrote it with Matt Damon. Believing him to still be Ben Stiller, I figured he had been an extra because I couldn't see him during the film (the time between seeing that movie and the Oscars is quite a few years). I legitimately understood why people were outraged about who I thought was Ben Stiller playing Batman, because I agreed that'd be terrible. Now I just don't understand their rage.
Guys, this isn't even a joke. I kept making excuses for how these people are the same.
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TIL that Ben Affleck is not Ben Stiller.
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t3_398ury
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relationships
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F(18) GF callled me predictable in bed , says it's not a bad thing should i (20) M be more creative?
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So here goes, my gf of 2 years and i were talking about our sex, and she tells me , "for some reason it was different last night, you felt allot bigger than normal in that position her legs all the way up to her chest , me holding them there , (I'm pretty big by her standards) . But you still did the same moves, you're predictable . I asked if it was a bad thing and i she said no, she went on to state the order in which i do my moves, Oral > Missionary (me on top) Doggy then Missionary again but her on top. I've shown her different ideas about what i'd like to do, and i feel like i do mix it up, e.x fucking her while she's on her side , her sitting on my face . I want to do more physical things like lifting her up on a wall and fucking her but i'm afraid i'm not strong enough, should i be worried , and what fun moves do you folks recommend?
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GF called me predictable , but i feel like i do mix it up , is she just being forgetful or should i be worried and reading some sex guides ?
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t3_3xn1eb
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relationships
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My [25 F] boyfriend's [25 M] friends are in town for the holidays and he has said that he will be virtually unavailable to me, is this something I should just accept?
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My boyfriend of 6 months has old friends in town because of the holidays. This is the once a year that he gets to see them, and otherwise doesn't talk to them very much. They're going to be in town for about three weeks and he's basically told me that he won't be available to hang out or text while he's hanging out until they leave.
I understand that it's important to see his friends, but should I be okay with pretty much being told that he won't have time for me for three whole weeks? He said he'll be available, just not as much, but we only really see each other once or twice a week anyway.
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long time friends of my boyfriend have come into town for a couple week, is it acceptable for me to have my already-little time with him reduced?
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t3_1yb6ra
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dating_advice
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Lost the perfect girl for me because I lost almost all ambition in many aspects of my life...
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...my university grades dropped, I stayed a hermit in my apartment, barely leaving except for the few times I went to class and work, also drinking to the point of blacking out every party I went to. Needless to say I wasn't a boyfriend a girl would be proud to introduce. Right after New Year's Eve, she called it quits after almost 4 years.
We are still on speaking terms, being perfectly respectful on both sides. I recently visited her (since we're from the same hometown), went for coffee to chat and saw her at a few parties, and we were both nice to each other. I told her I still had feelings for her and she said she did too, but wasn't ready to get back together, I'm also living a few hours away and that would make it harder. I told her that I understood I won't put more pressure on her.
The thing is I know in my heart that I still want her, and I will be back home in May and I want to do something amazing to show that she never left my mind. I have already started getting out of my slump, attending all my classes, making my way to graduation from my 4 year program, working hard to be the best I can be. I want her to know that I'm still the man she fell in love with, and more now.
My goal is to make a grandiose romantic gesture, but I need advice on how to proceed, as well as ideas. Feel free to ask for more details, and I greatly appreciate any help :)
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> girlfriend of almost 4 years broke up first thing this year, I want to do a crazy romantic gesture when I move back to her town in May, I need help with ideas :)
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t3_1e1nfz
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relationships
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I [20F] am in a LDR with my [20M] boyfriend of 5 years but I'm not sure if it's worth it anymore. I'm desperate for input.
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It's so much more complicated than this but I'm going to keep it short for now. I will gladly provide more details if they are needed/if people ask. Just don't want to make this too cluttered.
This is my fifth year with my boyfriend, we started dating sophomore year of high school and now I'm in my second year of college and have a couple more years to go until I move back to my hometown. I've moved across the state for university and have a job while he remains in our town in community college and also has a job. As of now, our communication is limited to occasional texting and an in-person visit once every few months or so. We don't really talk on the phone, Skyping is rare, and even when we text it's just random "how was your day" sort of stuff. We've grown a bit distant and I am lonely up here, but he is still happy as a clam and absolutely hates the idea of breaking up. Yes, we have talked about all of this but it did not help me decide anything, hence why I would like an outsider's perspective. I just don't know what to do.
Is it worth staying in a barely existent relationship just because you've been together successfully for so long and might have a shot at making it work once you're together again? Am I wasting my time or would I be a fool to throw away a good relationship?
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Boyfriend of 5 years and I are now in a LDR and are growing distant. Don't know whether I should consider ending it or just deal with my unhappiness for 2 more years and hope that everything improves when I return home.
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t3_3by6xw
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relationships
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I [27 f] need to end my long term emotionally abusive relationship with [27 m] and start over. Feeling completely lost and don't know how I'll ever want to start again.
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Sorry if that tittle was terribly pitiful sounding. To most people I probably look like I have everything. A good looking boyfriend, just landed my dream job, and I live in a great city.
The truth is he's knit picked every part of my existence to the point where there's nothing left for me to change - I've bleached my teeth, reached the ideal weight, even got a promotion. He's still not happy and I'm realizing more than anything that I'm miserable. He's the first person I've ever dated. It's not that I wasn't good looking growing up, I was just painfully shy and never even had a guy friend until college. I think I would have ended things much sooner if I knew what else was out there.
I see great relationships on TV and now most of my friends are happily married. I realize I need to start over and live a healthy life, but I am petrified. Most of my friends are actually my boyfriend's... So I'll need to cut them out. My other friends are coworkers but I'm starting a new job an hour away in a few days. I just feel utterly alone. I keep wanting to salvage things, but I can't come home to another bad mood, or feel like I've done something wrong every hour.
I guess my question is... Once this is over how do I begin again? Most people I know are settling down and I'm going to be dating for the first time ever. I'm also very jaded. I can't imagine a guy being nice to me without wanting something from me, or just doing it until he's locked things down. This is pathetic but I can't imagine a guy just straight up wanting to be with me. I don't know how I got this way... Most people think I'm this outgoing girl, but I'm a freaking mess.
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how do I start over reddit?
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t3_z0gji
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relationships
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Am I[26} being crazy for letting my marriage end because I won't support my wife's[26] sudden desire for an open relationship?
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We're both 26 and have been married 4.5 years, together about 6.5. The day before yesterday she told me that she feels like she needs to have an open relationship. This came partly out of nowhere (her sister recently broke up with her boyfriend for the same reason). I really try to be understanding and tolerant but I do not understand this concept at all. It goes against the core idea (for me) of a relationship, which is commitment. In a relationship I don't even really look at other girls, for example. I don't hold her to the same level of standards because I know it's a bit excessive but I feel like staying devoted to your spouse is normal. She likes to view herself as being sort of socially progressive which is great but I feel like the idea is so abhorrent to me that I can't even try to understand where she's coming from. She said that it's important enough to her to end our marriage if I wasn't on board.
I didn't even hesitate in refusing to support her in this. It just seems insane to me, and she knows me quite well (she makes fun of my level of devotion sometimes) so I wonder if this is maybe her way of exiting the relationship without admitting that she just doesn't like me or something. I don't know. At least she's being up front about it, which makes me a little less bitter. I'm trying not to be rude or angry because she's just being honest about what she wants. But it really feels like she thinks so little of me she's willing to cast me aside but she won't admit it. When I am upset I tend to shut down emotionally, more so the more upset I am. I'm pretty heavily into robot mode so I just want to make sure I'm not being a crazy person here. Feel free to ask more questions, I tried not to make it sound too one sided, she is quite a good person.
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My wife of 4.5 years wants to bang other dudes or the relationship is over. I love(d) her dearly but didn't hesitate when telling her "I guess that's that then". Am I being an okay human being?
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t3_3qvrn2
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relationships
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Me [28 F] with my Neighbor [60s? F] 1 week, She pounds on our wall when she hears any noise... even if it's coming from random people outside.
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I just moved into an apartment with my boyfriend. His parents own the apartment/condo and he used to live here in college, moved out and now we are moving back in and have been here about a week.
There is a neighbor who we share a wall with and I haven't met her yet, but apparently she's always been crazy with pounding on the wall back when my boyfriend lived here in college. He's told me about how she called the police on him for playing music softly in the spare bedroom (to which he invited the officers in to hear how loud it was... barely audible from outside the door), and even called the cops on him when someone outside in a house down the street was playing music too loudly. The cops eventually stopped responding to her calls.
I was told that she had eventually gotten better... but I have been here about a week and have had her pound on our wall on at least 5 occasions. It was completely silent in the entire place and I closed a drawer on the dresser and she pounded on the wall screaming "STOP IT". She has pounded on the wall when people outside are playing music and she has pounded on the wall while my boyfriend and I are sleeping in bed.
Her screaming and pounding is really loud and disruptive and drives me insane because I am absolutely not doing anything disruptive that warrants this...
Since it's a condo and she's across the wall, I can't go knock on her door because there is a separate building entrance for her side that I don't have access too... I could only buzz her on the intercom... or maybe write her letter...
How do I address this? She is old and is seemingly bothered by any noise whatsoever and wants to blame any noise whatsoever on us... but it's going to drive me insane.
I was thinking writing her a letter and let her know that she is pounding on our wall when we a sleeping and not making any noise and that it is loud and distruptive to us... What do you think?
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Neighbor across the wall likes to blame any noise she hears on us and will pound on our wall and scream... even when we are sleeping. How do I get her to stop?
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t3_3pvoy5
|
Advice
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1st Year Fine Art Student. Is dropping out the right choice?
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I am going to a very small fine arts college in my state. I am learning basics of sculpting, painting, drawing, and elements of art. Right now going to class is rarely exciting, more of a nuisance to attend. Shouldn't I be excited to go to class with my passion for making art? I am seeing improvement in my art but I feel that something is not right. I want to be a digital, concept artist for video games/movies yet all the students around me want to be traditional painters, sculptors, comic book artists, and book illustrators; I feel out of place. We have only painted and drawn still life objects so far (just finishing up midterms this week) when all I want to do is draw/paint landscapes and people (real/fantasy). I mainly want to learn to draw as best as I can because I am pretty terrible at drawing right now but after seeing seniors work on the wall all I can think is "I am going to be paying $40,000 over the next 3.5 years to draw like that?". I don't know what to do right now, the last thing I want is to spend the next few years in the school to end up wishing I dropped out years back.
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Attending Fine Arts school, unsure if it is fit for a digital artist especially with the underwhelming work of the senior class.
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t3_4n02oy
|
relationships
|
How can I know if my uni classmate [23F], with a boyfriend, is leading me [24M] on?
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Basically, this girl I met at my uni four months ago is amazing. The problem is, even though we have many things in common and great chemistry, she has a boyfriend.
Now, the way she acts, she may or may not be leading me on. It's the usual I tease her and she teases me back, and so forth, and the way she acts puzzles me.
I don't know if she just finds me friendly or if there's something else going on. I have been getting the "I have a boyfriend" vibe, indirectly, but nothing directly. And I dont want to escalate in this situation, I still see her almost every day in every class,but the fact is, the impression I'm been getting is "I hadn't had a boyfriend, we would be together already", and I hate that....
What can I do?How can I figure out what she really wants? And in particular, if a girl is being friendly/flirty with you and reacts well to you teasing her, how can you know what she really wants? Because the last thing I want is waste time on someone who's just being friendly...
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how can you know if a girl likes you or is just toying with you, IF she has a boyfriend?
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t3_368cvc
|
relationships
|
Me [23F] with my sisters [26F/26F] over watching my cheating dad who is sick
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My dad is not a perfect one. He views my mom as like a maid. He has a lot of mistresses. But despite this, he is still my dad.
I have 2 older twin sisters. Both of them married. One has a baby girl. The other is pregnant and currently has a young boy.
I am working on building up my experience currently. I am on the process of moving to another company. But, my sisters don't support it. They would want me to give up my career to take care of my dad. They would reason out that they have given up their "careers" to take care of my dad so I should do the same too. They have husbands who are working so it doesn't really affect them if they are working or not. That it is my responsibility to take care of him because I am the youngest, single and no responsibility.
I visit my dad every time I go out from work and every weekend. It pains me a lot when he calls his mistress while I am literally right in front of him. He would send either my older sister or my mom to give a lot of money to his mistress. I don't even get why they are ok with it.
How do I tell my sisters that I am not willing to give up my future to take care of our dad?
|
My sisters want me to give up my work to take care of my dad because I'm still single and don't have a lot of responsibilities. How do I approach this?
|
t3_1q7zap
|
relationships
|
I [42M] and my wife[41F] are having an affair with our friend [37F]
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Burner account obviously. For the last 3 years my wife and i have had a "Best friend with benefits" relationship with a long term friend of ours. Her husband has some physical issues and has lost all interest in sex. The marriage in general has always been a bit shaky, seemingly only staying together due to a daughter. She has told us she has the husbands permission, but he does not want to know any details about who she may become involved with.
Suddenly this last 6 months our friend has "reconnected" with her husband. She is trying to make the marriage better and feel like they are a couple again. Note this has not impacted her desire for a physical relationship with us.
The problem is that as part of trying to become a couple again she wants my wife and I to come over for dinner and things to become friends with the husband. He is somewhat antisocial and she thinks perhaps we can draw him out do do double date style couples nights.
I am not sure i can do this. My wife seems to have no problem with the idea, but I just can't get past the idea of trying to be friends with a man when I am sleeping with his wife.
I'm worried that if I talk about this either with my wife or our friend that they will either become angry or suspect that I have stronger feelings for the friend than i really do. I'm just not sure if i should object or just keep quiet and force myself to play along
|
My wife and I's BFwB wants us to be friends with her husband.
|
t3_1csgnc
|
pettyrevenge
|
MMORPG Revenge - In due time
|
**Preface:** Over a year ago, I was in a semi-hardcore raiding guild in World of Warcraft. I wasn't the most well liked, but I did my best to be polite and kind to other guild members.
**Plot:** One particular guildmate enjoyed picking on me and giving me a hard time. The times I decided to retaliate, we'd both get reprimanded. However, if I didn't retaliate, this guy (that I shall call Charles) got off scot-free. He wasn't just mean, he was an asshole. After a few months, I finally decide to leave the guild. Nothing catastrophic happened, but I felt I was better suited going somewhere I was more welcome.
I moved to a new server and I was happily raiding with a new guild. During this time, I found out my former guild was about to announce a move to my current server. There were raiders in my former guild that I didn't like because they had been more than exceptionally rude to me. They had gossiped about me, cursed at me, bullied me, and more without retaliation but the worst was "Charles". Charles had a character name that he had had for 7 years in WoW and he was known for overreacting. I saw my opportunity. I reserved his character name on my server. Then, I leveled the character up before he even knew about the server transfer.
**Revenge:** One day, a friend from my former guild told me about Charles complaining in their VoIP program about "whatever asshole took his name". Charles was drunk and behaving belligerently. I jumped at the opportunity. I logged his character's name and whispered him in game, "If you weren't such a @#$! mongler, you might have your name right now. If you want it back you can (fill in something Charles used to tell me to do)". He went into a rage. He asked for my home address from my friends in the guild and threatened...many things in his drunken stupor. The guild master told him that I might be a @#$!, but he picked that fight with me and, consequently, deserved it. *I still have his character name.
|
Guy was a dick to me and I kept him from getting his dumb (sentimentally valued) character name in a video game.
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t3_ryf14
|
AskReddit
|
How did your parents influence your life past high school?
|
I'm really scared... Not only that, I'm extremely angry, nervous, and sad. I'm an almost 18 year old guy and about to finish my junior year of high school. I have about a 3.5 GPA and only about a 1670 on the SAT but working on it and progressing. Both of my parents are very educated and we live in a college town. The university here is pretty good but I haven't decided what I want to do yet and my dad just threatened me that if I don't get accepted there that they will kick me out and if I do get accepted but don't want to go, they will kick me out but even worse, won't help me at all whatsoever financially.
I feel hopeless and genuinely frightened that if I don't go through this path that they set for me I'm completely fucked and will end up homeless. It's not that I don't want to go to college but I feel like I'm stuck here forever. They said they will only pay for my further education if I go to the local university, otherwise my dad said I will "have to get a $7 an hour job and live on the street" (quoted directly from him 30 minute ago). I want to travel and enjoy life but instead they are literally forcing me to go to this college and live here for the rest of my life. I don't have any experience living by myself and have also been pretty sheltered until the last year or so when I started doubting how much freedom I really had (almost never aloud to hang out with friends until I was 16). Anyway, this isn't all about me and I am honestly interested in what you guys did after high school and what your parents "planned".
Oh, and also my dad said that if I don't go straight to college/university after high school then I will forget everything I learned, is this true? I was hoping to take a year off to finally explore the world.
|
Parents forcing me to go to university in our town after I graduate or else I become homeless, what to do?
|
t3_ryh67
|
AskReddit
|
Think you have an embarrassing story? Try and top this one.
|
So I recently picked up the awesome hobby of longboarding. I have a job that I have to work 8 to 5 every Saturday and Sunday and all day I have been itching to finally take my board to a park that has some nice little hills. I get off work and speed home, pick up my board and and some clothes and haul ass back to the park. I basically drift into the parking lot and pull my board out and run to the sidewalk that surrounds the "lake". The sidewalk goes in about a 3 to 4 mile circle around the "lake". So I hop on my board and take off. I am feeling extremely confident. This is what I have been training for. So I approach the first semi hill and slide around the corner. Now I feel like fucking Tony hawk in this bitch. I'm about halfway around the park when I approach the thinner piece of sidewalk that is surrounded on one side by the street and the other by a drop off right into the lake. It has a guard rail, because safety first kids. But something goes horribly wrong. I over push, lose my balance, and there goes my brand new expensive board into the lake. At this time two thoughts pass through my head. 1. Act like nothing happened and walk back to my car. 2. Denzel's voice from training day pops up and says "MAN UP NIGGA, MAN THE FUCK UP". Obviously I can't say no to Denzel so I hop the rail and go get my board. Luckily the water was shallow so I got it and walked 30 ft up to shore. Told the guy fishing I was sorry for disturbing the fish and walk of shamed back 1.5 miles to my car(Complete with squeaking shoes from being soaking wet.)
|
Went longboarding, got cocky, board went in lake, tloft went in lake, shame walked back to my car.
|
t3_3a5nzj
|
relationships
|
Me [27 M] and my GF [24 F] can't enjoy sex because it's painful to her
|
I've been dating my GF for 3+ years, we've lived together for 2+. She was a virgin when we started dating, I had had a one night stand years back so basically same. We were both nervous about having sex and it took us more than a year to get started.
Once we did, it turned out that to her sex is uncomfortable and even painful, not just the first time but always. Since then we've had sex 1-2 times a month, within the few days or her menstrual cycle that she finds appropriate. She wants me to drag the foreplay forever before she thinks she's ready. Once I'm in she makes me last hours hoping that the pleasure would come but it never does. She moans but she moans of pain and it's anything but arousing, you know, realizing that your actions are painful to the person you care about and you still keep doing it. It all ends with mutual frustration, every time.
Lastly, she's definitely straight as she insists on doing it way more often than I do, while I feel like giving up. Nothing ever changes. The sex always ends bad, with both of us ending up disappointed and down, there's simply no bright side to it as it is now.
What do I do, reddit? I love her but the sexual tension is growing stronger every day and I just fear that unless something changes it will come to the point where we'll hate each other forever.
|
Sex is uncomfortable to GF, ends with mutual disappointment every time we do it.
|
t3_3j2wag
|
relationships
|
Ways to suppress feelings for my[26m] close friend[25f]?
|
I met a girl at a party last year. We talked for a bit, kissed, and agreed to meet at another party the next week. There, I tried to pick up where we left off, but she just went completely cold on me. I don't know what happened, but I asked her out and she said no. Fine.
Anyway, we go to a lot of the same places, and over the last year we've become pretty good friends. Problem is, I've developed some strong feelings for her. When we're together I'm absolutely fine, but when I'm at home or at work I can't stop thinking about her. The obvious way to deal with it is to cut off contact, but that means not only would I have to stop going to some of my favourite places, but more importantly it means giving up a friend. I need to find a way to suppress my emotions, because I'm getting to the point where the only way I can stop thinking about her is to drink until I pass out.
We're fairly close, and she does tell me about some personal things, but she's never talked about what happened between us, and I won't push her for an explanation. We're both single and have been for a while. There's also the fact that she looks a LOT like my ex-fiancee - probably why I was attracted to her in the first place. That whole thing ended abruptly, so I probably have some unresolved feelings there. I'm a bit of a mess, really.
Just to stress, I'm not hanging around in the hope that she's going to suddenly going to ask me out; that ship has sailed, and I need to find a way to deal with it.
I don't think just going out and dating someone else is the answer either. If I did that, I'd just be pushing all of my problems on to them and using them as a distraction, rather than dealing with my issues.
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I have strong feelings for a girl I know, but I don't want to throw away a friend just because I can't keep my emotions under control. Any advice?
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t3_1huzl3
|
relationships
|
I [24M] was just told that our relationship might not be working out by my SO [23F]
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I[24M] was told that there is no passion in our relationship anymore. For context my SO[23F] and I have been together almost 2 years. We were long distance for a significant amount of time at the beginning of our relationship and will be again very soon. I do not think that being apart would damage our relationship but after last night I do no know how to feel.
She said that she does not feel as though any passion remains in our relationship, that she often is not excited to see me, or have sex with me, etc. I feel as though she misses the "honeymoon" phase of our relationship. This phase was also when we were LD.
I also feel as though part of her is afraid that we are becoming too domestic and comfortable thereby losing her independence. She is unsure of what she wants in life and says that she feels pressured by my friends, family, and I to settle down and decide. She also said that she dislikes the fact that she has become so reliant on me lately.
Finally she also stated that I do not challenge her like I did before. That I am not still an independent person. I think that she does have a point here. I have become a bit of a pushover and am maybe a little on the needy side lately.
Thank you in advance for the advice. I love this girl to death and she means the world to me. I had no idea anything was this seriously wrong until last night. We get along great and are always laughing and joking around so this took me by surprise. We did however have a fight just before she left to see her parents. I apologize for my thoughts being sort of all over the place; I'm still processing.
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I [24] was told by my GF [23] that there was no passion anymore in our relationship. Unsure what to do.
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t3_33kh0n
|
relationships
|
Me [24,M] with my Brother [30, M] trying to help him get out of an abusive relationship.
|
So, my Brother (let's call him Dave) is currently in a marriage with a VERY abusive girl (Ellie, for our purposes.)
They've been married for about 7 months now, and in that time She's grown steadily more abusive and abrasive towards us and him. He's talked about leaving her several times, but every time he gets up the courage, she does or says something that gets him going back.
He's a disabled Veteran, and so gets a pension plus full disability, and she is currently operating as his caregiver. I bring this up because I feel it is why Ellie keeps drawing him back in, lose Dave, lose the easy living.
I really don't want to lose my brother to her, but I don't see what else I can do. I've gone to their house to get him, but when I show up, he says that they're fine and asks me to leave.
|
I want to get my brother out of an abusive relationship, but am not sure how. What can I do to help him?
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t3_3vu8yx
|
personalfinance
|
Suggest a strategy for using a 0% credit card to help pay down some other high-rate cards?
|
I'm trying to get my personal/family finances in order and I could use some suggestions. Most pressingly, I'm super focused on eliminating ~$11k in credit card dept (spread across 4 cards), which roughly breaks down like this:
* BofA: $950 @ 20.24% interest
* Chase: $3600 @ 22.99% interest
* Barclay's: $4550 @ 19.99% interest
* CitiBank: $1950 @ **0% interest** on transfers from other cards (entire current balance is transferred from Chase/Barclay at 0%)
My wife and I were talking last night, and we each have a different (almost reversed) idea of how to use the Citi card and its 0% rate:
My idea: pay minimums on all cards except Citi. Pay Citi down aggressively to free up credit to transfer chunks from the higher-interest cards, thus moving large chunks of debt from 2x.xx% interest to 0% interest.
Wife's idea: let the current balance on Citi card coast with minimum payments, pay down other cards in order from highest-to-lowest interest as aggressively as possible.
Any suggestions either way (or any options we haven't thought of)? I'm desperate to get these credit cards off my back ASAP. Lots of (painful) lessons being learned on this topic right now, so please steer me in the best direction!
|
Please suggest optimal strategies for using a credit card with 0% interest on balance transfers to pay off other high-interest cards?
|
t3_4t74m4
|
relationships
|
Should I (27f) be worried about finding 2 bottles of Cialis (Viagra) in bf (33m) car?
|
1 bottle empty & the other had some pills. They were found in his van after he asked if I could get his eyedrops from there. Soon after he asked me he went out, stood & watched as I got out of his van. I know he has used Viagra a little bit with me here & there but always kept the bottle in his room & I could tell when he used it because it was rock hard. He said they were in his van bc on his way to work he was calling in a refill to the pharmacy and the # is on the bottle.
He explained that he's addicted to masturbation since I see him only once a week and he needs Viagra to get it up just to masturbate well. He has purchased a lot of sex toys lately too. He hasn't been fully hard for like 2 months now.
Im concerned that he's cheating but he denied it. Thoughts?
|
found 2 bottles Viagra in his van should I be worried?
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t3_3esc45
|
relationships
|
My boyfriend (20M) broke up with me (19F) but wants to keep it open for reevaluation
|
My boyfriend of 8 months broke up with me two weeks ago. We were fighting about some pretty small things, but really getting under each other's skin. The break up was very sudden and not the result of a blow out fight or serious issue. We still love each other and both have hopes to get back together.
Because of this, we have not been acting like we're broken up at all. We still text throughout the day, call at night, try to see each other.
I've been really confused about where we are, he says he just wants to go with the flow. My concern about this is that I will be waiting to get back together with him, and he will already have moved on. I've been cheated on in the past, so I have a lot of anxiety about cheating, betrayal, etc. I would find it very hard to trust him in the future if while we were taking a break he was getting with other people. For me, the most painful outcome would be if I was holding out hope to get back together, and then found out he had already been with other people.
I brought this up to him on the phone last night, asking him if he would give me a heads up if he was at a place where he wanted to see other people. I also asked him if he had been with anyone since we had broken up. He refused to answer either of these, saying that he doesn't want me to get in the habit of asking him that. Him doing this for me would really ease my mind, but he thinks it's unreasonable and can't understand why I fixate on getting with other people even though he also has anxiety.
|
Is it unreasonable for me to ask my sort-of-ex to keep me updated on whether he's seeing other people so I'm not blindsided by the hope of getting back together?
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t3_26elcz
|
relationships
|
Caught my LDR SO of 6 months cheating on me last night.
|
My girlfriend (19F) and me (17M) have been in a very good relationship until a few weeks ago and I found it was because she was cheating on me. This is my first relationship and my first serious relationship and I'm not sure how to handle it would really like some advice. I found out when trying to help her with her e-mail linked to her Skype last night and saw some of the messeges she has been talking to a lot that I didn't think too much of.
I feel like I still care for her as the terms we started going out on were great and everything was good, but now I don't know how to handle this. I currently thinking of giving her a second chance, but I'm not sure if it is the right thing to do.
|
6 Month LDR cheated on me and I want to give her a second chance but I'm not sure if I should.
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t3_2pbju8
|
tifu
|
TIFU by leaving eye drops in my back pocket
|
I fucked up super bad. So very very bad. I got some backstory to put the actual story into context. Oh and this happened about 7 hours ago.
So my cousin came to my wrestling tournament Saturday and was going to spend the night, he had a vape pen and some shatter, so naturally, we got dabbed the fuck up (if you check my last post you'll see how I felt). Anyways, we do that, fall asleep around 3 am and have to wake up to drive to his parents house with my family since my grandparents are in town. He has his own car so, surprise surprise we get high on the way there. I should also mention I brought my green rhotos with me.
We get to the house, I'm feeling good, holding it together somewhat well. I lay on the couch on my phone browsing reddit for what seems like an eternity when I have to pee. Well naturally I get up to go and I release a monstrous steam. I come outside and my cousins parents and sister are looking at me, my family is looking at me, and my dad has my rhotos in his hand and goes, "tell me **** why you have anti redness eye drops". Oh. Fuck. "I have no idea man, I think it might be ***'s (friend) since he gave me these pants and it's the first time I've worn them. 'Awkward laugh'". I swear everyone could've called my bullshit by the way they looked at me. Time goes on, I forget about it a bit and I'm sitting down again when my dad asks if I've been smoking pot again. Of course not dad ;_;. He calls me to the dining room with my cousins parents there and they grill me for a bit and my dad asks if i take a drug test would I pass. Of course dad ;_;. So I spent the rest of the time there drinking mostly water based drinks (to not arouse suspicion by drinking straight water) and now I'm hoping for the best. Let this be a lesson to all fellow ents in this subreddit, don't ever leave eye drops in a loose back pocket, things will go very, very bad.
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I got blazed on the way to my cousins and brought eye drops, they fell out of my pocket and insta suspicion from my dad. He's gonna drug test me.
|
t3_30mvwn
|
tifu
|
TIFU by not listening to my gut.
|
Throwaway for obvious reasons. So I took the dog out this evening. Pissing rain down outside so already a bad sign. I use zombies, run! while out walking the dog and took a moment on the doorstep to set it up. While standing there I felt a bit of a rumble in my belly and let out a small fart. First bad sign.
Walking the dog along happily when I feel another rumble followed by pressure. Decided to cut the walk short and head for home. Specifically the bathroom. Instead of just turning around and going home I made the terrible decision to circle the block so that the dog got a semi decent walk. About five minutes after I decided to go home the rumbles increase and the pressure builds.
By now I am clenching as if I was carrying a credit card between my butt cheeks which makes it harder to walk, slowing me up and keeping me from my date with the porcelain bachelor. Finally I'm on my road, less than 500 metres away when the dam gives ever so slightly. I feel the warmth in my knickers and know that it has happened. I get in, sit on the throne and pull my jeans down. Carnage. I'm pretty sure I should just throw out my pants now. You ever tried to take shitty underwear off while wearing skinny jeans? I don't recommend it. I'm now sitting in pyjamas, feeling rather sorry for myself. And I still have an upset stomach.
|
shit myself while walking the dog. Am a grown up.
|
t3_4cirgg
|
relationships
|
Me [23F] with my (ex) boyfriend[23M] of 3 years. he's gone to live overseas. i don't know how to cope
|
i've known for several months that he was leaving to live in another country and that we'd be breaking up but now that it's happened it's worse than i imagined. i just feel like my life is over. i don't know what i'm supposed to do. i have college and family and some good friends but i don't know. i miss him so much. i miss the future that i imagined for us. i miss having someone that i could talk about anything with. what am i supposed to do now? how do i go back to normal instead of this detached depression?
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boyfriend moved overseas. i don't know how to return to normal
|
t3_3mh9e5
|
relationships
|
I [25/m] broke with my boyfriend [21 M] of seven months, I'm devastated, and having a hard time moving on
|
I'll cut to the chase. It was a nasty, NASTY breakup. Words were said, things were broken, feelings were hurt. Anyway, I broke up with him because I caught him flirting, sending dirty messages with someone he used to "casually" date. This wasn't the first time though. And he wasn't the only one.
I shrugged off previous incidents because I really thought he would change/leave his cheating ways behind. Our relationship was toxic from the get-go (and yes I am only realizing this now); people were telling me very early on to break it off and move on, but I was stupid.
I'm not interested in getting him back, but why I am having such a hard time getting over him. It's been SEVENTEEN days for godsake. Last I checked he's casually dating (the same guy) again. He's having a ball while I'm here moping around the house. It's so difficult. I literally could not stop sending him messages. I've literally been on to him for the last two weeks. He isn't replying. I'm tired. I don't know what to do. I think it's time I give up any hope of a post-breakup friendship. I need to go NC--FOR MY SAKE.
Listen to me...jesus, after everything he did to me, every foul thing he did to me, I still want a friendship. I'm pathetic.
|
Broke up with my boyfriend of seven months. I'm having difficulty coping and moving on. I NEED HELP PLEASE.
|
t3_3blup7
|
relationships
|
I [16/M] have a crush [16/F] and was turned down. But now, I'm not so sure...
|
To start off the girl in question (let's call her Amy) and I have known each other for quite a few years. But this past year, we started talking a lot more and quickly became very good friends.
Most of what happened up until about 2 months ago don't apply to the situation I'm in now, but basically all signs were pointing toward us potentially dating.
I didn't have a lot of time to talk to pretty much anybody at school, because of a program in which I take college courses for both HS and college credit. Because of this, I never got to talk with Amy alone since the little time I spent at the High School was spent talking with people as a group. When I confessed my feelings for her, it pretty much had to be via text message. Thankfully that didn't seem to be an issue (for reasons I'll get to in a bit), so no worries there.
But, after a few weeks of silence, I get a text that could possibly be used as the definition of friend-zoned. I had prepared for that, and respond saying she didn't need to feel bad and how I'll be fine I'll just be sad for a bit, which is honestly how I felt and still feel to an extent.
I thought that was the end of it, but I have a strong feeling that there is more to the story. How do you explain staring me in the eyes from across the room biting her lower lip, and every time the word 'love' is mentioned while watching Legally Blonde: The Musical her looking back at me then quickly darting her head back to the screen? That's only part of it, I'm just too tired to type it all down at this time.
I guess my main question is how to advance here? I feel like there's something that needs to be said by both of us, but I'm scared that pushing it farther than I've already brought it would jeopardize the amazing friendship her and I have, and I really don't know what to do..
|
Got friend-zoned but her actions when in around her recently are telling me exactly the opposite, don't know how to proceed w/o jeopardizing our friendship
|
t3_2jzjwu
|
offmychest
|
My girlfriends revelation
|
I understand that I shouldn't feel shocked about this since I look at porn and am pretty much being potentially hypocritical here but tonight I found out my girlfriend a few years ago (note still being a minor by law) had flashed herself on omegle or chat roullette or something. I don't know why but its really weird for me. Like very unexpected that she would do something like that. I'm not angry, I'm not dissapointed, I'm just confused that after two years I'd find out something like that about a girl I had this perfect sort of image of in my head. It's weird. I don't commend her for doing it, we all do random things when we're horny, but it was weird that I never knew this about her, and I think for the most part I'm having difficulty accepting that she's really a badass, or I'm scared she may have her face in the image and have it taken as a screenshot which could jeopardise her career pathway. Help I guess, I don't know how else to react.
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found out girlfriend flashed online a few years ago, only discovered it now, neutral disposition but still bothered by it.
|
t3_1xes7v
|
relationship_advice
|
[17/m] needs help dealing with a FWB [16/f] situation
|
I've been hooking up with this girl a year younger than me for a couple of weeks now, we shall call her L. She is a Junior in high school and I'm a senior and I don't really find her super attractive. So why would I hook up with her if I didn't find her attractive? Long dry spell will do that to you I guess. She is super open sexually and would do almost anything I want, this is important, I swear. Anyway, from the get go we agreed that it would be a purely physical relationship. She is at this point, a couple weeks later, totally falling for me and I'm not into it. If only that were the end of the issue though, There's another girl who I find attractive and I like personality wise, her name is D. She's interested in starting something up as well. I would imagine that she is pretty vanilla in the bedroom though. Can I have both? Or is that going to lead to an awful situation down the road? Keep in mind that this is high school and word spreads. Speaking of high school, you know that as a senior, prom is on my horizon. I know from other friends that L is expecting me to ask her but I want to ask D to in order to hopefully jump start something between us. I just don't know what to tell L, I'd rather tell her what I'm doing before she found out from someone else but I just don't know what to say.
|
How do I tell a FWB who wants to be more no without turning into a scumbag?
|
t3_38gkct
|
tifu
|
TIFU by holding a door
|
Ok so this happened nearly a year ago.
My eye doctor place is located inside a hospital where mainly old people go and do old people shit so one day i was leaving my eye doctor with my brand new big ass glasses and noticed an elderly couple walking behind me and my dad so i decide to be a well mannered person like my dad taught me to be and i go hold the door , as i'm walking to the door it opens automatically and i still hold it anyways because i'm smart. The lady looked at me and said "thank you" she then pretended like that didin't happen and then old guy started cracking up
The look of pity mixed with dissapointment in my dad's face made it even worse .
|
held an automatic opening door that opens automatically after i already went through it.
|
t3_4h2kqv
|
relationships
|
I [20/F] found out that my boyfriend [23/M] cheated on me through kik
|
Hi, I recently posted on this site earlier but found out some new information that changes things so I'd like to get some more opinions. I'm sorry if I'm clouding this site, this will be my last post, promise!
So anyway I recently discovered my boyfriend has been using "kik" to cheat on me with other girls. He never admitted this to me, I found it out because he told me he had a porn problem. I looked through his porn history (which I know was wrong) and found that he was going on kik. He initially denied this but after a few confrontations he admitted he would sometimes chat with girls when he was horny and ask them for pictures of their naked bodies. He said he never sent them pictures.
I feel very hurt and betrayed, and like I was cheated on. We live together so we are constantly around each other and i have nowhere else to go. He has apologized a million times, cried his eyes out, and suggested that we talk to a couples therapist or something.
I appreciate the fact that he's so sorry and willing to do whatever it takes to earn back my trust. My gut is telling me to stay with him and give him a second chance, but it doesn't change me constantly thinking about it. Am I overreacting? Would you guys consider this cheating too? How would you guys deal with living together?
Thanks!
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Bf cheated on me through kik and now I don't know how to act around him and whether I'm overreacting.
|
t3_33x3qi
|
tifu
|
TIFU by telling my roommate I think his girlfriend is faking it.
|
So yeah, happened a few hours ago. Our walls are mega thin, and you can literally hear someone typing through the walls.
My flatmate had his girlfriend over, and she is very vocal when she is being "pleasured". Anyway I heard a lot of noise last night, as per the norm, and this morning when my flatmate walked into the kitchen, I smiled and gave him a knowing wink as to what he had been up to last night.
Fast forward until after she leaves, flatmate and I start talking, and conversation turns to last night, he says "Couldn't have sex because she was on her period" (never stopped me, but other people obviously have a problem). I was a little confused because of the vocality, and I replied, "Oh, so why was she making all that noise then?"
Now we've discussed her noise making before, so it's not really an issue. He says "Oh she was giving me a blowjob."
Now I was very taken aback, because never in my life have I heard a woman moan as loudly as she did, whilst giving a blowjob.
I scoffed and said, "What?! Was she using your dick as a microphone for PornHub's new Singstar game? No girl would be that vocal during a blowjob, mate. I think she may be having you on..."
To which he told me to fuck off in a seemingly genuine manner, and haven't seen him since.
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flatmate's gf was loud, turns out it was during a blowjob, said I think she was faking, flatmate pissed.
|
t3_4v9bu9
|
legaladvice
|
In Texas, Doctor's office called Aetna and told me procedure was 100% covered with my plan. I still have their voicemail that says so. Later, I was billed $1,400. Help!
|
I waited months to be covered by insurance so I could finally get an IUD. I found an OBGYN (I live in Texas) who I had an initial consultation with.
I told her I wanted the ParaGaurd IUD because I've had crazy complications with hormone birth controls in the past. She convinced me that the Mirena would be best for me, even though I told her my body rejected the Mirena ten years ago, and I was very confident I wanted the ParaGaurd. She talked to me for 20 minutes about how Mirena is much better, patients are happier, easier periods... blah blah. So I said I'd give it a go.
When checking out with the staff, I was very adamant that I would only schedule the IUD insertion if my insurance covered it in full. I gave them all my insurance information and told her the under NO circumstance would I get the IUD if it wasn't covered by insurance, because I have no money. A staff member from her office called me later that day to tell me, great news! My insurance will cover the IUD 100%. I STILL HAVE THAT VOICEMAIL ON MY PHONE.
A few weeks later I received a $1,400 bill from her office. Apparently, it was not covered.
Furthermore, I find out now that the Mirena itself cost $1250 and ParaGaurd would have only been $70.
I did an initial appeal with Aetna, and I've been rejected.
I can't pay this. I was blatantly lied to, and apparently up-sold. Please help!
(
|
Doctor's office told me procedure was 100% covered with my plan. I still have their voicemail that says so. Later, I was billed $1,400. Help!)
|
t3_mmyyy
|
relationship_advice
|
I have full-on ADD and my girlfriend has Asperger. Relationship advice?
|
Hey /relationship_advice,
I could use some advice. I'm a 30 y/o creative programmer freelancing guy-person, and have only recently come to realize I have full-on ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder), but have not tried treatment / medication yet.
It's basically the core me as a person, when I look at a self-test like [this one [PDF]] I get a 25 out of 27 score. And it has been like this ever since I was a kid. It hinders and frustrates me that I get so chaotic, easily distracted, my work suffers and I'm pretty much always stressed out and behind schedules. (In fact, even writing this post is procrastination as I have a client waiting for me.)
My girlfriend is in many ways my complete oposite. She is very neat, needs and gets structure, does not like surprises, likes sitting on the sofa and watching TV (so do I, especially with her and the cats, but only for so long), likes doing repetitive tasks and is very, very organized. She can also be rude without knowing it, and sometimes has trouble being empathetic. She's 27, a social worker (works with mentally handicapped people) and I have been with her for 2,5 years.
I think our relationship is good, there's tons of love and fun and kittens. But there is also always a bit of stress, because my way of doing things and her way of doing things are so very different. Neither one chooses the way he/she is, but the combination can cause troubles.
Has anybody here ever dealt with this combination? How can we keep this healthy and going strong? We've already been trough some rough patches, but I love her. Any advice is welcome :)
Thanks in advance!
|
I have ADD, g/f has Asperger, could use some relationship advice.
|
t3_1m0euf
|
AskReddit
|
Wanting to share deep literary ideas with others, but nobody to share them with.
|
Hello Reddit,
Made an account to ask this, plus to keep for a long while too. I love literature and examining it, especially classics, and I love to share those ideas with others (currently in an English class), but I'm deeply saddened that I cannot share these fantastic works of art with my friends and family. The same goes for music, movies, any written works (poetry, books, novels, etc.), and art. All my friends ever talk or care about is everything the opposite of school (video games, TV, stupid online videos, etc.) and can't give two shits about anything I enjoy. My family (parents and brothers) claim that they like literature but don't read anything more than a magazine article and they actually think I'm autistic, stupid, insane, or all of the above whenever I talk to them about this stuff. (In all seriousness, they think I have some mental disability because of my love for learning). The only person that I can think of that i can share this literature with is my current teacher, but I yearn for more face to face interaction with more opinions from different points of view on this. Any advice or help on what to do/where to go? Or do I just have to bottle all this up and continue with my stupid routines? Any help is appreciated and feel free to post your own stories of being alienated like this (doesn't have to be about literature) (mainly to make me feel better about myself and to have a good read). Thanks!
|
I can't share ideas about good books because everyone I know is a fucktard and I need advice. Also, post your stories of being alienated like this... for science of course
|
t3_i34ji
|
AskReddit
|
Killed animal to prevent suffering. Did I do the right thing?
|
I woke up 10 minutes late for work to find my cats had brought another trophy killing to the porch. It was a bird, barely alive, but still breathing. Both my cats were lounging casually around it, taking swings, but the bird was too injured to fly away. I also noticed a deep gash on its head. My friend and I took the bird to the side of the house and smashed it real good with a shovel to quickly kill it. I don't have the money to take to vet and I didn't want it dying slowly to cats playing with it. Did we do the right thing?
|
Cats bring very injured bird to door, I kill with shovel to speed up process. Am I a bad man?
|
t3_4goin7
|
tifu
|
TIFU by being a burglar
|
This actually happened to me yesterday:
I was at my local supermarket doing my weekly purchase: food, hygiene items etc. After 20 min I left the store with my headphones on and walked back home. I was completely focussed on the music and just kept walking inside the house. My appartement is on the 1st floor and each floor has 2 appartements. Still listening to the music, I pulled out my key and tried to stick it into the doorlock. It did not really work in the first place so I had to stick it in with a lot of force. It finally went in, but i could not turn the key. After 1 minute of trying and cursing, I heard some door beating outside of the appartement on the floor, which is exactly on the side of the corridor. After another 2 minutes I heard a woman screaming: "Hey!" Me, slowly becoming angry, screamed back: "What?" Her: "Stop it! I am calling the cops!" I was like WTF is wrong with this woman?? After looking at the name on the doorbell I realized I had entered the wrong building. In the street, where I live, all buildings look the same (height, colour etc.) I accidently walked into the wrong building and since the main entrance was open, I did not have to use my key in the first place. I apologized towards the closed door but the woman did not believe me and still screamed: "I am calling the cops right now you burglar!" (
|
walked into the wrong building and tried to open an appartement which wasn't mine with my key)
|
t3_1kdx53
|
tifu
|
TIFU by mowing the neighbors lawn
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So today I went over to mow my neighbors lawn. I'm 16 and could really use the cash for gas money. So I get started mowing and everything is going as planned, as I was mowing underneath a tree I looked up and saw a in a nest in a tree that my neighbor told me had bird eggs in. At that moment I accidentally ran something over, I pulled forward more and looked at what I had shredded to bits. I thought it was going to be a small dog toy that i had missed while picking up or something but no, it wasnt. I had shredded a baby bird into bloody bits of feathers. I don't know if it was dead from the fall from its nest or I had just killed a baby. I didnt want to tell my neighbor I had just killed a baby in her back yard. She was a fan if her birds an had pleanty of bird feeders and she had been waiting for the eggs in her tree to hatch for a while. So I quickly got out the hose and washed down the evidence. And of course right at that moment here comes my 93 year old neighbor seeing if anything was wrong while she was holding a cup of ice tea for me. I told her i accidentally ran over some dog crap and she believed me. When I was done i got paid my $15 and she made me some peach cobbler which I ate in shame.
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I mowed over a baby bird, washed away the bloody evidence, then had ice tea and peach cobbler as a gift for a job well done.
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t3_175bbh
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relationships
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Communication trouble between my boyfriend (20m) and I (20f)
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My boyfriend and I have been dating long distance for about 2 years now, and we live together when we come back from school. We are planning on living together next year as well (he's transferring). I have recently been having so many issues getting a hold of him. He will stay out until 5 am (I go to bed at 11p wake up at 7a) and not call or text me until 3pm the next day 10 minutes before he has to be at work or while he's driving to work.
He's admitted to purposely ignoring my phone calls when I call him before I go to bed because "he's busy" (drinking with friends) and just today we were supposed to have a 1:30p skype date and he didn't call me, text me, or even try to contact me. So I blow up his phone leave a message telling him I'm waiting on skype and he just sends me a text says "busy, love you babe". and wont text me back. Finally (right before I have class) he tells me he decided to go to meet with an advisor.
He doesn't tell me what he's up to all day or all night. I can never get a hold of him. And he doesn't seem to understand why I'm so upset when I leave a meeting early to go skype and he's not there. I'm really upset and I don't know what to do anymore. And I rarely have time I can even talk anymore. We're both really busy (me more than him) and that's why I have to pencil him in my schedule.
I feel not important in his life and I don't know what to do because I know he loves me and when he does find time to send me a text it's very sweet it's just hurting me that he doesn't make me a priority when I do for him.
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long distance relationship, he skips skype dates without any notice. It's really taking a toll on me.
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t3_2f83tt
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relationships
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Me [23 M] with my WIFE [20 F] of 2 Years. She is being courted by an extremely wealthy man. We need money badly. Things are moving fast. HELP!
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Throwaway account for obvious reasons.
My wife works at Hooters and recently met a old man (60) who is extremely high up in a certain motorbike racing team. I have verified all his details online and seen his business card. He is the real deal. Multi-Millionaire. Needless so say he doesn't know about me or that she's married.
We are in a tough situation right now living with her parents and have been since we were married. We are both going to school and would love a place of our own and some more money.
Basically this guy has offered to pay my wife's debts buy her various things macbooks, iphones, new car and finance an apartment for her upfront for atleast 6 months. He is dead serious, like I said before this guy is legit.
She is not going to have sex with him, but he did kiss her the second time they met. (They have only met twice so far)
It really doesn't bother me about the kiss as I know she is playing him for the benefit of us.
Part of me feels bad for the guy, but on the other hand I think if he tries to seduce attractive young girls like this he deserves to be ripped off.
What should we do? Get all we can and run, live off of him in an apartment for free? I'm worried about this blowing up in her/our faces somehow.
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Multi-Millionaire seducing my wife offering to buy her apartment etc, should we play his game and take what we can or kindly refuse in fear of him finding out about me?
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t3_290o94
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tifu
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TIFU by drinking bottles of beer
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This happened about two months ago. I got off work and decided to grab a six pack of sweetwater ipa in bottles. This was my first mistake. I made it back home, grab my back pack, camera bag, and beer and proceed to walk up my front steps. I tripped on the third step and fall forward unable to catch myself. I dropped the six pack perfectly so that the top of the closest bottle broke off and went directly into my wrist... deep. My roommate woke me up holding a belt and a towel a while later because I had passed out and hit my head. 15 stitches later and it's all good. But Damn was that scary.
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fell on a broken bottle, looks like I tried to kill myself.
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t3_469edj
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relationships
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Me [28M] with my friend [27 F] of 6 years. not sure if it's over over.
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I was very good friends with someone. We shared similar interests, life goals and all sorts of things. I fell in love with her, but I didn't want to ruin the friendship so I decided not to tell her. She also had a boyfriend when we first met, though they're not together any more but she's been with other guys in the past few years. So the feelings that I had, I channeled into writing an album, which I was planning to release this year.
However, she found out my feelings at the end of last summer (her roommates figured it out), so we met for coffee and she told me that she sees me as a friend and I admitted yes I've had feelings (I'm not a good liar). I've tried to get in touch with her the past few months since, but she's avoiding hanging out with me or responding to texts since our last meeting in Sept. She's leaving the city in a few months (forever) and I would really like her last memories of me to be happy/go back to being friends and nothing negative, because she's the only person I've met who's that similar to me.
Is this the end? I'm extremely sad that such an integral part of my life is ending just like that; I am pretty devastated. Is there any way to repair this, or is our formerly close friendship not worth it anymore? Also, I had planned to release the album everywhere, but part of me thinks I shouldn't do that anymore, since she'll now realize it's about her.
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friend of 6 years i loved doesn't feel the same. not talking anymore. want to repair
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t3_1imx8h
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relationships
|
Me [18M] worried about a friend [18M].
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This is my first time posting to /r/relationships, so I'm sorry if this is a bit of a rough post, but I was hoping to find some help to a problem I am having with a friend.
My friend has become rather obsessive over his crush. Beyond the normal level of affection one has for a crush, he becomes incredibly depressed when he is not speaking or being with his crush. He also understands that his crush will never have any interest in pursuing a romantic relationship, which is all that my friend wants. He understands that this type of relationship is unhealthy, but he has no idea how to get over his crush. As a concerned friend, I was hoping someone would have some advice that I could give to him.
Also, his crush has gone out of town for the duration of the summer holiday, which has put my friend in a bit of a somber shell. I'm just worried about him . :/
Thanks for any help!
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Friend is obsessed with a crush, but knows it will never happen. What can he do to try and get over it?
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t3_397e2a
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relationships
|
My ex [21M] just called and told me[22F] that he just found out he has an STD, and I am with someone new now
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I ended a relationship with a guy I was seeing since high school, we stopped seeing each other because we didn't really get along very well. This was about 6 months ago. A short while after I met someone else who is really amazing and I'm extremely into, and we've been dating for awhile now since then. Last night my ex called and told me he just got his results back from an STD screening and he has chlamydia. I was extremely upset and probably overreacted by crying for 3 hours...
I went to the doctor this morning and got tested as well, but I wont know the results for another couple of days. If I do have it, there is a 99% chance I passed it along to the new guy. And when, and if, my results are confirmed, I'lll have to break the news my new SO.
I've never done this sort of thing before. I've always been so safe. I am kind of freaking out about this because I really like him and I feel like he would think I'm "dirty" and not be comfortable with being around me anymore. I would have posted this in r/sexadvice but I don't think its sex advice considering I need help telling my new boyfriend that I infected him :( I'm sorry if this is dumb and it belongs in r/sexadvice, I've just been panicking for the past 24 hours and don't know what to do.
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Ex bf gave me chlamydia, new bf probably has it because of me and I don't know how to tell him
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t3_14gsl8
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GetMotivated
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am i messing my self up or preparing myself?
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I'm 16 and I've been looking at /r/GetMotivated for a while now and I've been preparing to start my life soon, anyway i think that i messed myself up. i have mentally hardwired my brain to believe that when i get out of high school and start my life that no matter what i do i will become a millionaire and will accept nothing less. literally saying to me that i wont become a millionaire is like saying that i will grow a third arm, i know its possible, but its most likely not going to happen. I will not live my life to just get by like the average Joe and then die. i have altered my way of thinking to become someone who will do nothing less than become a millionaire and change the world.
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i have hardwired my 16 year old brain to revolve around changing the world and becoming a millionaire
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t3_2qzvqi
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relationship_advice
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I'm [17/f] tired of my boyfriend's [16/m] friend [15/m] calling me a whore, and not accepting me as part of the friend group in general. What should I do?
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My boyfriend told me that his best friend has repeatedly called me a
whore, and said that I am not trustworthy.
To begin with, my boyfriend's friend has reason to think I'm a whore. I
used to be one, due to the loss of meaning in life, and in fact, I was
one when my boyfriend and I met. At the beginning of this relationship, because I had been hurt so much before, I didn't allow
myself to take relationships seriously, and that didn't change until I
saw my boyfriend get serious about our relationship. However as soon
as I saw he was serious, I was completely on board.
Anyways, before I had become serious, I suppose I had acted kind of
flirtatious with his friend as well. I am "flirtatious" in general, I guess,
because I am friendly towards everyone. But I stopped that. In fact, I even told him I had become serious about my boyfriend, and to stop acting like I like other guys. However, he has continued calling me a slut and telling my boyfriend I am not to be trusted. This guy has been my boyfriend's best friend for a very long time, and I know that his opinion probably inherently means a lot to my boyfriend, no matter how much my boyfriend tries to ignore it.
I am not sure if this has anything to do with the other problems with this friend of my boyfriend's, but this kid won't talk to me outside of asking me to do things for him. He texts me to talk about girl problems, to ask me to sing in his band, or to ask about when I can help him see my boyfriend, but aside from that, he completely ignores me. This makes it very awkward trying to become part of my boyfriend's friend group. I am trying to be a good girlfriend, but my boyfriend's friend wants to make it impossible, it seems. What should I do?
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Boyfriend's friend calls me a whore and excludes me from the friend group. Boyfriend tries to disregard it but I am worried. What do I do?
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t3_1dtu9k
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relationship_advice
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[19/f] my gay guy friend [20/m] is obsessed with his former friends-with-benefits guy [19/m] and it is driving me nuts...
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So I'm part of this close group of friends that have hung out together for a few years and recently this gay guy friend (I'll call him C) joined our group since last year (I knew C since junior year and I introduced him to the group). C and J (a guy friend in my group who is mostly straight) became really close since summer and basically formed a friends with benefits situations. Not sure about the entire story, but certain things happened (which is irrelevant) and now C and J have stopped talking. But C is pretty much OBSESSED with J and will NOT stop talking about him. Because of this, the rest of the group doesn't want him around much and I'm caught in the middle because I'm the closest person to C. I've been trying my best not to get involved, but I have been hanging out with C because the others aren't and I felt bad and I didn't want him to feel ostracized...I've asked him to go see a counselor (because he threatened to kill himself repeatedly to J) but he says he doesn't need it. I've told him numerous times, I don't want to talk about it, but he just brings it up randomly when we're talking. I can't just cut him out, because before this whole J thing, he was actually a very sane being whom I relied on with my problems.
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It would be helpful if you read the whole thing. But basically a gay guy friend is obsessed with my other friend and I'm caught in the middle. Help?
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t3_4jagb6
|
offmychest
|
I'm so scared
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I've been so, so, so lucky to have never faced a death that affected me. I never lost a relative, a friend, and I am so fucking grateful for it.
This might sound offensive but I mean it in the most sincere way but I have just faced death through losing my dog.
And I am realizing what it means to lose someone so dear and close to you and you read about it but you just don't ever realize *how* it really affects you.
I was playing with my other dogs and I was waiting for one of them to start waving her paws around, just like my dog used to. And I thought about how lonely it was without her and that I wanted another dog. But not just any dog.
I wanted her back.
And I realized that I won't ever. And that **that** is what death is. You lose them and you miss them and you think about them randomly and want them there and they won't ever be there.
And that's gonna happen to my family, my friends.
I'm going to lose people I love and I'm going to sit there, wishing they could hike a mountain with me, or when I'm in another country, wishing they could be here to take in the culture and scenery.
God, I'm so scared.
I don't want to lose them.
Growing up and growing older is so terrifying. I love them all so much, I'm so, so scared.
People who seemed stronger than me, invincible, are suddenly getting ill. All of a sudden, people are depending on me. I am taking care of others more because they're the weak ones now.
I wish I could stay frozen in time, surrounded by the people I love--ageless and forever.
I know I sound like a petulant child but I hate this. I really do. I hate seeing people get sick, I hate losing people. I know no one likes it but I am so scared and so lucky to have been so goddamn ignorant for so long and I'm so terrified.
I don't know what to do. Or what else to say.
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Time does its thing and I'm so scared of what it brings.
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t3_374p0v
|
relationships
|
Me [22F] with my boyfriend [25M] 2 years, everything is ok but I want to break up with him!
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I have been with my boyfriend (who I also live with) for 2 years. He is the loveliest, kindest, sweetest most understanding and respectful guy I have ever known. But I want space! I want to be on my own for once (I have never lived on my own). I don't want to settle down.
I was diagnosed with social anxiety and I have been in therapy for over a year. I feel like I have loads of things I need to work out on my own. My problem is that I don't want to hurt my boyfriend and lose him forever (which is what will happen). I'm worried that I will be making a huge mistake by ending it with him. I'm worried that I will never find anyone like him again.
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Boyfriend is awesome but I don't want to be in the relationship anymore because I need to work on myself. I'm worried that I'm making a horrible mistake by ending it with him. If anyone has been through a similar experience I would really appreciate any advice or stories.
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t3_28r72f
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relationships
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Me [21 F] confused as to what's going on between me and [19M]
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I need some advice guys (literally. A guy's perspective is what I need) I've been seeing this guy for a little over a month now and I've grown feelings for him. He knows this. Anyway notes version:
We spoke literally 24/7.
We met and had a great evening
I started growing feelings and I started to see some changes
Now it's gotten to the point where if I write on his wall. He deletes it. He also deleted me off snap chat and when I told him to add me again he was confused why I was deleted but 18 hours later he still hasn't added me again.
We had this talk about how we both will take it slow and how there's no one else he's interested in and just trying to move on from the hurt his ex gave him.
He also tells me that he's always texting me and that we are going to work out - but lately we barely text and it's even gotten to the point now where he doesn't reply at all anymore. I'm so confused...
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guy I've been seeing for a month tells me he likes me and wants to work something out together but I'm beginning to feel lead on and like he's losing interest... but he won't tell me.
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t3_3i8thi
|
cats
|
need help: crystals in cat pee??
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I just adopted a 5-7 year old male cat (pound said 7, vet said 5). At first he was peeing just outside the litter box, I read it could be something to do with UTI's and being afraid of the litter box because using it hurt. However I noticed a worm on his butt, took him to the vet and thought that would be the end of it.
Now he only does it if I've been a little lazy keeping his box clean. However when I was cleaning up his latest spill, it was full of tiny crystal shards. The pee was under the box so I don't know how long it had been there. Is this something that happens after he's peed or did it come out like this? Is this something I should take him to the vet for? Please help, I'm new to having cats.
|
cats pee had crystals in it, what's that about?
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t3_xiihi
|
AskReddit
|
Why does so many people have such a huge problem with pigeon shoots?
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I live in Pennsylvania which is the center of a lot of this stuff. I grew up watching pigeon shoots. The birds are raised to be killed. If it wasn't for pigeon shoots, these birds would never exist.
If you want to say they're not humanely killed, well neither are the mice you poison in your house or catch on glue traps. The animals you had for dinner probably weren't either. And the animals and insects that died while a lumber company cleared land for your house definitely weren't killed humanely.
It's like people see that it's being done for sport and it's an issue. But if you can tie some loose human need to it, it's a huge problem. I think that's a bullshit way to think.
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pigeon shoots are legal here. Deal with it.
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t3_159yuw
|
relationships
|
Girlfriend f[25] chats with her ex again. What should i m[24] think about it?
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My girlfriend f[25] had a 6 year relationship with her ex. They broke up last year christmas. And we got together 4 months ago i am m[24].( But we know each other for 4 years, and we flirted a lot after they broke up ) She never deleted him on facebook or skype. And from time to time, her ex contacts her on skype and they write with each other some time ago. I ask her why she wants to talk with him, and she just said cause she is over him, and its just some small talk
Should i have any concerns?
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! Girlfriend still writes with her hex, should i have concerns?
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t3_2lf3f4
|
relationships
|
Me [23F] met [23M] on dating site, texting for about 2 months now first phone convo tonight. What are some things we can talk about or break the ice with?
|
I have not dated for awhile so I decided to give the online dating scene a spin. I met a guy that I find very attractive and we've been texting back and forth for about 2 months now. We are both single parents of boys and we seem to have a lot in common. He wants to talk on the phone tonight for the first time. I enjoy talking to people but get nervous when I don't know them very well. I want to make a good impression on him but I feel like I'm going to be overwhelmingly awkward. What are some things we can talk about? Should I ask him certain questions? Is it possible to flirt over the phone without being over sexual?
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First time talking on the phone with a guy I like. Haven't done this in forever and I'm nervous, what should I say??
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t3_roznq
|
AskReddit
|
Why do black teens find "sagging" their pants fashionable? Are belts too expensive?
|
I understand this is stereotypical, but I live in a fairly diverse neighborhood and I see black teenagers walking down the street quite often. More often than not, their pants are halfway down their cheeks or lower and they often walk with one hand in their pocket to hold their pants up.
I'm all for cultural and ethnic diversity and personal expression, but I don't understand this phenomenon. Our society traditionally values neatness and 'looking good'. Our CEOs, politicians, business executives, etc. all wear clothes that fit well and make them look professional.
I'm very aware of stereotypes / public perception about black teenagers being lazy, walking the streets, etc. and wonder about public perception. If I were in a position of hiring someone, and one dressed well and the other not so much, subconsciously I would have a hard time choosing the latter over the former.
|
I see black kids sagging their pants. Public perception sometimes stigmatizes these kids, but they don't take it upon themselves to put a belt on. What's the motivation behind this?
|
t3_wuin3
|
AskReddit
|
During my senior year of high school, my friends and I pulled a prank to only have the prank spoiled by another group doing the exact same thing, but differently. Reddit, what pranks have you pulled that were spoiled by someone else?
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The last week of the school year in my high school was called Prank Wars. We were allowed to pull pranks as long as the pranks didn't destroy school property or ruin the flow of the classes (i.e. having to evacuate the school, entire class room leaves, etc.) A few of my friends were throwing around the idea of the classic throw a pig out to run wild in the school with a 3 painted on it with a note saying that there are 3 more elsewhere and it will leave the rest of the teachers "looking" for 1, 2, and 4 (The school was a large school).
Somehow, my buddy was able to borrow a pig from one of his Uncles and we commenced to paint the three on the pig to let it loose early the next morning at school. That next morning, we drove to school at around 6AM and let the pig go inside of the school through some back doors. When we entered the high school towards the beginning of class, we saw a bunch of students and faculty yelling and screaming about there being 3 pigs in the gym and, of course, had us confused since we only let one pig go. We come to find out that another group of seniors let three pigs, ironically painted 1, 2, and 4 on them, out in the gym with the same premise as our prank, but with three instead of one. Only about 5 minutes after the 3 pigs were "wrangled" our pig was found with the 3 on it by a custodian in the back. Since this prank was in the premise of "destroying property", because their pigs shit on the gym floor, the kids who let the pigs out all got detention for the rest of the week and we were never caught, despite us being the ones supplying the "third" pig. We still, to this day, get a good kick out of the fact that we got one upped by another group of kids doing the same thing, but never got in any trouble for it.
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Pig prank gets spoiled by others doing exact same prank. They got the brunt of the punishment and we got away clean.
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t3_1hmcgt
|
relationships
|
I[27M] met a married [28F] in an emotionally abusive relationship and need advice.
|
I recently met a woman. Despite her being married, we started hanging out. A lot. Feelings developed and we started talking about possibilities of a future together.
While hanging out she shared with me several things about her relationship. I never commented on it, just listened. But it was textbook emotional abuse stuff, he's isolated her from friends and family, puts her down constantly and calls her names, discourages her interests and hobbies, heck he even makes fun of what she chooses to wear.
Well everything came to a head a few weeks ago and we've had to cut off communication and it is driving me absolutely crazy. I know the wrong thing to do is tell her how awful he is and that she deserves so much better and that she should leave him, but certainly there must be something I can do.
If I was just a friend I could be there for her, but because of our history and emotions I don't know if that might do more harm than good. Have any of you met a man that helped you out of an abusive relationship? Is there anything I can do?
|
Woman I care about is in an emotionally abusive relationship and I'm not sure how to help
|
t3_1i3h0b
|
relationships
|
Discovered my [29M] friend is going on dates with someone other than his [25f] girlfriend
|
To summarize the scenario:
I learned that my friend has been carrying on (at least several dates) with a woman other than his girlfriend. He likely knows I know now, based on the sequence of events that led to me discovering this. Over the course of his relationship with his current girlfriend (2 years) I have become friends with her as well. My girlfriend also knows, and feels a moral obligation to tell her.
I'm about as sure of this infidelity as one can be, aside from actually seeing them together. I spoke to her myself, and the 'other girl' had no idea she was in fact the "other girl".
I don't know if anything sexual took place.
I haven't heard from him since the time I discovered this, but I will likely hear from him soon.
My current plan is to simply present to him the information I know, and let his response dictate what happens next. I want to give him the benefit of the doubt. I don't want to be accusatory or combative because frankly I care more about our friendship than I do about their relationship being open and honest. I do worry that she might be at a health risk.
My questions to you are:
* Should I bring the topic up with him at all?
* Should I drop it if he denies it or invents a semi-plausible explanation?
|
know my buddy is cheating on his girlfriend, what should I do?
|
t3_2aotkg
|
relationships
|
My [19 M] inability to get over my ex [19 F] of 9 months has been hindering me for the past 4+ years.
|
I dated the same girl at age 13 (for 2 months) and 15 (for 9 months), but over four years have passed and I still have hang ups from this.I had been in a relationship with another person since then. She was very sweet and I was happy for some time, but my lingering desire to have a relationship like my first eventually left me unsatisfied so I broke it off.
While away at college, these feelings lessened considerably, but they still interfered with my dating life. Despite meeting and befriending a lot of new women in an entirely new city, I still have issues finding them attractive in comparison to my first ex. I should mention that even though my hang ups lessened initially, they recently worsened again when I started seeing my ex in my dreams for the past few months.
I believe the reason I'm having issues getting over her is because I'm trying to compare my current interactions with women against the more emotionally vibrant memories I have from dating someone while I was a more hormonal teen.
This doesn't always interfere with my happiness. I'm pretty good about making time for activities I'm interested in or personal projects like art; however, when I try dating new women I'm left unsatisfied.
I know that this is an internal problem. I want to rid myself of or better understand these hang ups so that the next time a great women comes along I won't be off in my own little world fantasizing how my ex was/is more interesting etc. It's been a long time though, and sometimes I worry whether these feelings are imprinted in my mind or that perhaps it is some sort of mental issue.
|
Recent relationships (with great women) aren't satisfying. I don't feel as close to them, as I did when my emotional/hormonal younger self first dated a girl.
|
t3_174owl
|
relationship_advice
|
My best friends ex-girlfriend and me...
|
Okay so I'm caught in a dilemma. First, here is some background. My best friend (m/18) and his ex (same age) had a very, very, VERY, toxic relationship. They broke up and got back together literally over 50 times in two years. From public humiliation to physical abuse (on the ex's part) to extreme vertical abuse. To me, their relationship was based on sex. Before they ever got together, me and her were talking. I had a gf at the time, so it was nothing more than flirting. Anyways, she and I have been hanging out recently and texting/ flirting. I've told her I find get attractive physically, but I wouldn't date her. She said the same to me. I've been having really vivid dreams about having sex with her, and I think about it from time to time during the day. I suspect this arises because I haven't had sex in 4 months and because she told meshe thought I was "sexy."
My question is, should I have a talk with my friend about getting physical with her? I don't want a relationship because she is not my type and it would be a one time thing.. I just want to fulfill my sexual fantasies, but I don't to Ruin my relationship with my best friend since third grade. Any suggestions about what to do?
|
I have a sexual attraction to my best friend's ex and does she for me. If we hooked up, out would be a one time fling. Do you think I should talk to my friend before anything, or should I just completely ignore his ex and my horny-ness?
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t3_molw7
|
relationships
|
Transitioning from friendship to relationship.
|
Hey all!
One of my best friends (19F) and I (19M) have known each other for about four years now. We are and have been very close for the majority of this time, and, over the past couple years, have had some romantic flings that ultimately sizzled out. We've spent time as FWB's, but never had a full-fledged relationship.
Recently, we decided to give things another shot. We talked it through, and realized that we were both the kind of person the other was looking for in a relationship, and decided to act on our feelings one more time.
We're going to take things slowly so that we can ease into the change, though we've already had a fair deal of sex, so it's more about getting used to the idea of going from friends to BF/GF vs. the physical aspects.
Here's where you guys come in. We already know everything about each other, spend a lot of time together, have been intimate, etc., so I need some advice on how to best make this transition. We get along very well, have amazing sexual chemistry, and just enjoy being around each other. I'm just not quite sure how to make it feel more like a relationship vs. a close friendship. Tips?
|
Going from a very close friendship to a full-fledged relationship with one of my best friends. Need tips on how to successfully make the transition.
|
t3_499g2p
|
relationships
|
My[34/m] girlfriend [32/f] who broke up with me 7 years ago wants me back
|
7 years ago, I dated this girl Allyson for almost a year. We got along great, enjoyed being together, and I thought was had a chance at a future together except for one thing; her ex boyfriend/fiance. She dated this guy off and on since junior high. Both of their families wanted them together, but they had problems. She had just broken up with him when we got together.
We were scheduled to attend the wedding of a friend of her's and I was looking forward it. The week before, her friend had a bachelorette party in which a group of ladies went out on the town. I didn't hear from Allyson for a few days after that, which was odd because we would talk just about every day. She called me and told me she had run into her ex, who had just graduated medical school and was moving out of town for his internship. The next day, the two of them had a quickie wedding(we live in Las Vegas) and she was going to move with him. She told me when she saw him, she realized she still loved him and didn't want to lose him. I wished her well and told her I hope she and her new husband have a great life together.
I was devastated and I didn't date for a few years after that because I was so hurt by what she did, but I've worked on myself, made changes in my life, and am actually in a better place now than I was then. I've also just started dating someone else.
Allyson called me last night and told me she was back in town. She told me she and her husband divorced and she moved back to Vegas. She said she made a mistake and thought I was the one she should be with. She also told me she was getting a nice settlement for the divorce and we could start new together.
I'm not sure about the new girl I'm with yet, an I'm not sure about Allyson. I really need some advice.
|
Ex who married her ex now divorced and wants me back.
|
t3_2ccz9s
|
askwomenadvice
|
I am struggling (21M) to stop feeling insecure about having graduated a virgin?
|
I'm obviously not as unattractive as I used to believe since I had my ex for 15 months and mostly screwed it up with a combination of insecurity and my mental health taking a downturn. She was religious and believed in no sex before marriage which I respected, so remained a virgin despite us both being in love. This suited me, since I feel sex is best reserved between two people in a loving, trusting and committed relationship anyway. I also have some sexual hang-ups and trust issues which make me uncomfortable losing my V to any old person. That being said, I would probably have been comfortable losing my virginity to her, but that's a moot point now.
However, I've actually had someone have the audacity to suggest that we broke up because I didn't turn her on and she would have been willing to 'bend her rules and be a bit naughty' had I have been sexier. They told me other guys will be able to persuade her to 'bend her rules' because they're more attractive (sounds a bit…rapey to me?) They've also told me that they think my 'I want to wait for someone I love' is a big excuse I use to massage my ego against the fact I'm a bit of a loser for being a 21 year old male virgin. Finally they told me that my valuing sex is part of my general naively idealist view of life, I should start thinking of us as animals with urges and accept it's so easy to get laid that the only reason I couldn't is probably because I am in fact unattractive.
I'm feeling pretty awful about this. Do women look down upon men who are virgins after a certain age? I know that young men mock guys who they find out are virgins, especially high school/college age guys. At this age virginity is essentially a symbol of masculine energy and social status-hence why it ties so intimately into my self-esteem.
|
I'm sure I've asked this question before except it was "would you cheat on/dump your boyfriend if he told you he was a virgin"...
|
t3_1jr5e2
|
relationships
|
Dating 18 Months, Never Had an Argument. Is this Weird? [42/M and 42/F]
|
42 year old male here. Been dating my 42 year old girlfriend for 18+ months now. Neither of us has seen anyone else in those 18 months.
I swear, on my honor, we've never had an argument. Is this weird??
Bear in mind that we only see each other on weekends, but it's been almost every weekend for the last 18 months. We Skype for about an hour every night we're apart, without fail.
We get along really well ... we've never had an argument. By "argument" I don't just mean a difference in opinion. I mean, you know: heated conversation, possible raised voices, emotions flaring, slamming doors. We've never even come close to that.
Neither of us are bohemians, we're both pretty vanilla people. Neither of us are very religious, both of us are from the suburbs, relatively normal upbringing and family lives. Nobody's been in trouble with the law, neither of us has had a drug problem, no serious health issues ... pretty vanilla people.
We're not 100% into the same books, music, TV shows or movies, but I'll watch a chick flick once in a while, and she'll watch a sci-fi movie once in a while. Give and take.
I'm a divorcee with a 14 year old daughter. She's never been married, no kids.
I'm still expecting an argument to happen, because statistically, it HAS to, right? But we just keep on enjoying being with each other.
I think a lot of it has to do with a great deal of mutual understanding, mutual consideration, mutual respect, and a great deal of love. I think we've both had our share of relationships and I think we've both learned a lot from them.
And we've dealt with some heavy things in those 18 months: issues with my ex-wife, taking care of elderly parents, squabbles between her siblings, friends with serious health issues, financial worries. For the most part, we're patient with each other and support each other.
|
But seriously ... 18 months with no arguments? Weird?
|
t3_3wmxkk
|
tifu
|
TIFU By Getting Beaten Up By Two 3rd Graders
|
So... this happened last night at my friends Christmas party. Two of his family friends daughters got it in their head that it was a good idea to try to beat people up. For whatever reason, I was chosen as their next target. So they would chase me around and hit me, but whenever I tried to hit them back, they started fake crying. So, I basically had to get the shit beaten out of me. After that, my sister joins in, and tells them to hit me in the balls. So, now they're going for my damn balls! One of them hits me in the balls and I fall down, and then the other one hits me with a Nerf sword, and then my friend gets out his phone. And then he starts recording, right as I stand back up.
|
I get beaten up by two 3rd graders with Nerf stuff, and my friend films it.
|
t3_3wo5ij
|
relationships
|
I [22 M] am having a problem with my crush [21 F] because she is driving me crazy
|
Hi guys,
I met that girl in college about 2 months ago and I fell in love with her, for the first time of my life. So 2 weeks later, after we talked a bit and we know we shares some interests , I told her I'm very interested in her and asked her out. She didnt say no, she said she just had a relationship behind her so she doesnt want to date right now. So we still stay as friends
About 1 week later on a house party, she started flirting with that guy on the party directly in front of my eyes. Then she started enjoying more male companionship (because she gets along with guys much better, she really has barely female friends). Then she (half jokingly) tells me about that guy as her crush and about my roommate how hot he is when she saw him the first time. I asked her once when we was drunk jokingly, why she tells me that stuff and she told me "because I want you to notice..".
After that, I acted like nothing happened and we still hang out like watching movies (alone and with another people), party and stuff while she still hangs out with another guys as "friends". She said she was a loner before so it is a nice change to have friends to hang out. Then sometimes she mentioned I'm cute, funny and she enjoys doing stuff with me, then she starts talking "jokingly" about her crush again.
Because that girl actually is a very innocent and friendly person and she also has as much social skills as I do: almost zero, I dont know why she is doing this and what she is actually thinking.
Is she trying to make me jealous? Should I try to hang out with her more even if she kinda hurts me or stay at distance? Should I directly ask her why she is doing that kind of stuff? Or is she just being friendly? Should I ask her out in some next weeks again?
Because I dont have much social skills and this is my first time being really in love, I'm very confused and I dont know what to do.
Thanks you guy very much for helping and sorry, english isnt my first language.
|
Crush is driving me crazy by her actions even (or especially) she knows about my feeling and I dont know what to do.
|
t3_2o6fve
|
tifu
|
TIFU by doing a project
|
My teacher gave us this assignment and said we would have to take a test if we didn't do the assignment. So here I am writing this entire project, staying up until 2AM Monday and Tuesday. I finish it, and turn it in, only to see that nearly the entire class didn't do the project. I am the top student in the class, so I knew I could easily ace the test, but I wasn't expecting only 5 people to do the project. Not only did I fuck up by wasting a ton of time on the project, but I also had to present it in front of the class. I have extreme social anxiety and I hardly ever talk in person so this almost made me not do the project. I also could have been working on my 10 page research paper that's due next week.
|
I wasted an entire week working on a project that I have to present when I could have just aced a test instead
|
t3_3n7f09
|
relationships
|
How long should I [24F] wait before asking where I stand with my FWB [28M]?
|
We have been sleeping together every weekend and some weeknights for about 4 months, usually after a night out. I've met all his roommates and he's met mine, we get along very well and have established that we're not seeing other people. I was very stand-offish with him at first, and I know this set the tone of our relationship.
Buttt now I know I'm starting to get feelings for him, it's bound to happen when you commit yourself like that. I tried to end it recently because I was sick of only being with him in the bedroom and he said he was confused by my attitude during the start but that we would do more together now and see where it went. Since then we have gone on a couple of dates, but it's still nowhere near the level I'd like it to be.
From reading this, it does seem like he's happy with the current situation and doesn't want things to change, but when I questioned him he said at first it was just about having fun, but it's become more than that for him now.
Basically, I just want him to know how I feel, and ask him what he wants too. I don't know what I should do. Anyone else been in this situation before?
|
I fell for the guy I was sleeping with. Told him. He said we would do more. We didn't. Now What?
|
t3_3b48m0
|
relationships
|
Girlfriend [F21] of 3 years says she needs time to figure herself out. How do I [M26] cope?
|
I have a daughter (4) from my previous marriage and my girlfriend (we'll call her Cece ) recently told me that she needed space to figure out herself. Cece has done this 2 times before (both lasting maybe half a week) before we get back together. She always says that she doesnt know who she is and needs time to figure that out. Each time I take it so hard. As cliche as it is, this woman is my soulmate. She is my better half and I feel lost without her. I have never found someone I click with so well. She is absolutely amazing with my daughter and my daughter practically considers Cece as her step mother. My daughter loves Cece with all her heart and I just can't bare to think of how I'm going to explain it to her that Cece might not be coming back. I don't understand how Cece could do this to me or my daughter. While Cece has Bpd and depression she refuses to talk to someone but is on medication for it. Our relationship has had its ups and downs. We argue occasionally but we won't ever stay mad or upset longer than a few hours. The last time this happened and we got together I told her it I couldn't do this again. Well here we are again. And here I want her back again. I love this woman second only to my daughter. She says she loves me and wants to marry me but she doesn't want it now (i have no plans on asking soon). Though throughout the relationship she has been pushing marriage and kids. She goes on to say that she needs to grow and that being in a relationship so dedicated and strong isn't letting her do that.
I understand that I need to give her space. I understand that this is not a healthy relationship. I understand that I should most likely seeking counseling. What I don't understand is how I am supposed to give her space yet hold on to a sliver of hope that we'll get back together. I don't know how to explain to my daughter that her Cece may not be coming back.
Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance.
|
Girlfriend needs space. How do I do it and explain it to my daughter?
|
t3_ujrwe
|
AskReddit
|
Are my parents too paranoid? Are your patents too paranoid?
|
Recently my house has been under attack by a small horde of tiny black bats. Stereotypically, my mother is fiercely terrified of these tiny mouse-like creatures. I, on the other hand, am perfectly okay with bats as I delight in creatures of all kinds.
Of course we can't leave these bats to fly through the house as my mother can't function with them in sight, and the poor creatures also don't belong here. But, now my father has taken to closing all of the doors in the house, and putting pieces of cloth under the doors. My father also disturbed my sleep at one in the morning to reassure himself that no bats had acquired quarters in my small dark room.
The question to be asked is, are my parents too paranoid about these bats? And what things are your parents paranoid about that drives you mad?
|
my parents are going off the wall about the number of bats we have had in our house. Waking me up in the middle of the night is unacceptable.
|
t3_fs04u
|
relationship_advice
|
End of the night, kiss #1 denied, kiss #2 denied, then she says "I've been sitting here waiting for you to seduce me." Huh?
|
So last weekend I met a girl at a bar. We chatted, she invited me to smoke a bowl in her car (which is kinda normal here in LA), we made out pretty passionately, then we both went home. Seriously guys, good smoochin'. We were two puzzle pieces from the same box.
Last night, we go on our first date. We have dinner, go to a bar, seems like we're having a good time (conversation was effortless and shared eerily similar world views). All in all I'd say it was a great date.
I should mention: I didn't pay for dinner. We got burritos, I paid for mine, she paid for hers. Personally I feel like a chump paying in this day and age, however I think I saw her make a "cheap bastard" face so I just paid for drinks for the rest of the night (about $40). She insisted on paying for a round, which was nice of her.
So I drive her back to her apartment, we chat for a minute and I lean in for a kiss. Denied. Okay...we chat for a little bit more, she's getting kinda handsy, so I decide to go for a kiss again. Denied. Okay fine, she doesn't want to kiss. So we chat for a little while longer and she says "I've been sitting here waiting for you to seduce me." I have no idea what this means.
So I just kinda stare, perplexed, and she looks at me all doe-eyed as if to say "kiss me you fool." But I was just denied twice...I can't figure out what she wants. I feel stupid admitting this, but at that point I went in for a third kiss. We kissed, and it was just forced and dead at that point.
If you guys could help me understand, much appreciated. I'm sitting here at work totally frustrated, can't figure out what to make of this.
|
Date seems to be going well despite the fact that I didn't pay for dinner, tried to kiss her at the end of the night, denied, followed by "I've been sitting here waiting for you to seduce me."
|
t3_3quj0b
|
tifu
|
TIFU bynkeeping my phone in my front pocket
|
Got an email this morning about a clogged toilet. Sure enough got there and its full to the brim with little bits of digested celery and rice and whatnot. Not the worst I've seen but bad enough I almost gagged. As I started to snake it I got a phone call and for some reason I put my phone back in my front jacket pocket. When I leaned over to start snaking again PLOOP! Went right in.
Its supposed to be waterproof but the screen is cracked and the water was higher than my gloves so I went about my business. When the water drained enough I grabbed it and threw it in the sink assuming it was done for. As I put everything back together I heard the low battery chime go off, the motherfucker was still alive after 10 or so minutes under water.
On a side note if you flush handfulls of zipties down the toilet go fuck yourself.
|
phone in toilet. Got a shitty phone, will be using speaker phone for a while
|
t3_162atp
|
relationships
|
I [15f] think I cheated on my boyfriend [17m] but don't know what to do from here?
|
I have always had an interest in BDSM which my boyfriend catered to sexually when I would tell him about specific things. Yet I was embarrassed by many of the things I was interested in. I decided to try talking to an online dom to talk and figure out what I may or may not be interested in by posting in /r/BDSMpersonals.
I didn't tell my boyfriend until he found the post and got very angry with me. I had gotten over 30 PMs from guys wanting to talk to me and it made him very angry especially because I replied to about 6 of them. I didn't give away any of my info to the guys and I only exchanged 2 messages tops with any of them.
He stormed out of the house and I chased after him and after a while of us both crying out in the cold and me confessing all of my sexual desires to him he carried me home and said he'd give me another chance.
When we got home he made me read all of the messages and posts repeatedly for about a half hour while he showed me pictures of us doing fun things together. This whole time I was crying and I believe this was his way of punishing me for what I had done.
After this he said he was done with me and hates me and he began sobbing profusely and collapsed and then left, still sobbing. We have been together for six months and have been hanging out almost everyday and we both knew everything was going pretty much perfectly.
I really don't know what's going on or what to do? Do you think he could ever trust me again? Did I really mess up that bad for us to break up? Is there anything I can do to remedy this?
|
I was going to talk to guys online about my BDSM sexual preferences because I thought my boyfriend might be disgusted by them. I wanted to get my preferences sorted out before I told him. Is it over?
|
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