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t3_4otiqy
|
tifu
|
TIFU with alcohol in the chemistry lab
|
Mandatory note: This happened a few months ago, not today.
So I'm in what is the British equivalent of my junior year of highschool(I think?) and as part of my chemistry course we have to do core practicals, which is basically where we do an experiment in pairs and the teacher ticks a load of boxes to say we are "competent." Yeah I know, BS, but whatever.
So for this particular one we are performing an experiment where you oxidise an alcohol(we used ethanol which is what you find in alcoholic drinks) to form a type of acid. For this we had to heat the mixture under reflux(the apparatus looks a little like [this] which is where you can heat a reaction to make it go faster, even if the reactants would normally boil at low temperatures, as the products are cooled at the top. The instructions specifically said heat **gently** and the teacher even said "don't let the temperature get above 40 degrees." You can see where this is going.
Me in my infinite wisdom and experience thought it would be fine if it got a bit hotter than that, because surely the reaction will just go a bit faster, right? Well it turns out that's not the case, so when my partner asks "it's at 40, should I take the flame away? "I reply "nah, leave it it's fine." and move the bunsen burner back under the flask. About a minute later there's a big WHOOSH sound and a load of hot dark brown liquid gushes out of the tube and lands all over the bench and me and everyone else standing nearby. I still managed to pass that experiment, but only because my teacher genuinely doesn't give a fuck.
I also think he was impressed that [I managed to get some of it on the ceiling] That mark is still there now and probably will be for a long time.
|
went too far with alcohol and made my mark on a chemistry lab forever.
|
t3_1z1mtq
|
relationship_advice
|
[21/f] GF of 6 months going away in the summer and I'm [26/m] feeling insecure.
|
So here's the deal. My girlfriend of six months is (most likely) going away this summer for 3 months for work abroad. While the thought of being without her for three months is bad, even worse is that she's told me she doesn't like long distance relationships before.
When I brought up her previous comment about LDRs in relation to this possible trip, she basically told me she wanted to discuss it later, closer to when she's going. This was a pretty big shock to me as I was expecting her to shrug off her earlier comment (as 3 months is hardly LDR) and I feel that it holds me emotionally hostage. The mere fact that she's not even sure we're going to be together during/after her stay abroad hurts me and she doesn't seem to see that at all.
Outside this, the relationship is great. We've had arguments here and there but I think it's one of the best relationships we've both been in, according to what she's told me of her previous experiences. Sex is great and extremely frequent despite busy schedules on both behalves.
She's given me no reason to doubt her commitment until now, even though we started off really slow and I never pushed her to commit to anything.
Am I being unreasonable for wanting a definite answer from her now, even if it's not even 100% sure that she's going or am I being pushy? The fact that she can't reassure me when I questioned her hurts me more than the thought of being without her for so long.
|
GF is leaving for 3 months, doesn't seem sure we'll be together during/after, won't discuss.
|
t3_4rlzg9
|
relationships
|
I [16M] just had my ex and best friend [16F&M] come into my work and tell me they are both leaving me for each other. They also asked me if I could not go to the circus tonight that I bought tickets for
|
I have to kinda keep this short as humanly possible. I am still working but my boss has given me 20 minutes to myself.
I am going into my junior year at high school and I need to know how to cope with this. My boss said she would let me go home but she really needs me here. So I was serving customers as usual when I see my girlfriend and best friend walk in. They tell they are both leaving me for each other. They told me and I quote " we like you, great person but we like each other more"
I just stood their stunned beyond belief, then they had the balls to ask me not to go to the circus that I bought their tickets for. It's 6:30 now and I get off at eight and I planned on meeting them there. There is a circus in town and I had never been to one so I wanted to go
They did this while other customers and co workers were around, I have never been so embarrassed in all my life and I just don't know what to do
|
Best friend and ex walked into my work and told me they were leaving me for each other.
|
t3_1c9zag
|
running
|
Need help with strength workouts to help IT Band issues
|
I am fairly new to running, only starting last August but have been working up my base and run now a little over 20 miles a week. I have started to try to mix in a little cross training (biking) as well as running 5 days a week, but as I have added distance I have started having some discomfort that seems to be with my IT band. Originally around the sides of the knees, but now that does not seem to occur and instead just the side of the hips. There is no sharp pain, just discomfort.
I've read through many many posts here in /r/running and have tried to follow many of the suggestions. I have a foam roller now that I use as well as try to do stretching after runs. Usually those two things help any discomfort go away, but I am looking to try to fix the problem for good. My understanding from reading through here is much of my IT band discomfort is likely due to an imbalance with the strength of my glutes and I should work on exercises to strengthen them. Such as squats and lunges.
I just have had horrible motivation in doing those exercises on a weekly basis and am looking for help. Thus far I've just been trying to do some various exercises twice a week, but what I would love to find is perhaps a good strength routine that I could put in twice a week after an easy paced 3 mile run each day. Ideally something 30 minutes or so that would help with my glutes/core and hopefully strengthen some of the areas that I don't necessarily do much with during running.
Any advice? Thanks in advance!
|
I'm looking for good examples of strength workouts to follow for getting rid of IT Band discomfort
|
t3_3v8x1e
|
relationships
|
Me [15 M ] with my crush 15 F] Breaks up with boyfriend and asks friend If I like her. I'm moving away in 6 months.
|
So, I had told her I liked her before, she had a boyfriend. ( we remained friends) Now she doesn't, so she asked my friend if I was still interested in her ( she has more classes with him than me) and my friend said he didn't know. I'm moving in 6 months.
I don't want to reject her, because I really like her.
I also dont want to start a relationship with her only to have to move away and break her heart. What do I do?
I've never been in a relationship before, so I don't know what to do.
|
Girl likes me, but I'm moving in a couple months. What do I do?
|
t3_4a6rxo
|
loseit
|
[HELP; LONG] Looking for some advice, picture of current self included (F/23/165)
|
Hi /r/loseit, looking for some advice. I started my journey around 183 pounds and through running, lifting and really fixing up my diet I dropped down to about 155. I unfortunately fell off the wagon and gained about 10 pounds over the past two years. My diet never really changed, but I stopped exercising due to many different factors.
Anyway, I'm back on the bandwagon, and I'm actually very proud of how I look right now (obligatory picture: but, I recently was told my BMI is sitting at 29, which obviously I'm not happy with.
Looking for two pieces of advice:
1) I feel like the only way I can get my BMI down now is to make EXTREME changes, which I don't know if I'm able to handle that, mostly because I am a pretty picky eater though I'm very willing to try different things I usually end up not liking them and just going back to what I normally eat. Any advice for getting BMI down?
2) Like I said, I'm very happy with my body right now, so I'm not overly concerned about anything but I can't stand my inner thighs - I squat it out and do all the leg exercises in the world and I feel like it doesn't make a difference. Any specific thing I can do to target inner thighs?
TIA!
|
my bmi sucks and my inner thighs suck, how can i fix it?
|
t3_3d9f29
|
relationships
|
Me [21 M] with my GF [21 F] or around a year, with a perfect relationship except for one thing
|
I can't get over the fact that my GF had a short thing with someone in our current social group a couple of years ago, before I was a member of it. In addition she has kissed one or two other members of this group, again before I knew her or them. I understand that this shouldn't be a problem, and I am otherwise totally happy, but for me it is an issue and I can't fully get over it.
It doesn't help that there aren't any members of our social group who I have done anything with, which makes it seem quite one-sided, though I have had more sexual partners than her.
Basically, I'm looking for any advice in how to get over this, or any comments on the situation. All input appreciated, thanks.
|
can't get over girlfriend's past, need advice with it
|
t3_15klce
|
dating_advice
|
25m I need advice!
|
So I texted this girl I know from work(huge company would be like working in the same mall), I said:
Do you want to get a drink after work tomorrow at x bar?
She(24-25) responds: "I am suppose to see a movie with my roommate(female), but if that falls through I would definitely love to get a drink!"
Honestly I dont know if I just asked this girl out/ and if I did is she letting me down nicely? I am use to rejection, I am not sure I know what to do if she really does think its a date. I am going there with people I know from work as a new years after work thing.
|
Not sure if I asked girl out, she said she had plans but if it falls through she would love to go!... Is that a polite no?
|
t3_3qqbyi
|
relationships
|
I (23F) does not know what is going on between us (27M)
|
A few months ago I got to know him through a few friends while drinking and we hit off well because we were from the same school and had common friends (our exes were friends too). We spent the next few weeks texting back and forth and hung out a few times for dinner.
A few weeks back, we started flirting through texts and while they were nothing serious, I started to get emotionally attached to him. I tried to break it off while it wasn't too serious and told him to stop it because this might ruin our friendship as I am serious about this and I am not sure he does too. He replied with "I don't play" but when further confronted he brushed it off with being "tired from work" and didn't text me after. Since then, we haven't been texting as often as we should even though we still hang out for dinner with our other friends.
I am aware that daily texting does not necessarily have to be essential (we text ~2 days a week), and I understand that he may be too busy to text me (he changed jobs 1.5months ago and that was when the texting decreased) but I do not know what he wants with me. He said I wasn't like any of his female friends because he doesn't buy them dinner / hug them... but I feel like his lack of texts do not make up for his actions. Do guys who are really busy at work not text someone they are interested in for 4-5 days straight?
Would really love to have an outsider point of view on this. Thank you!
|
Not sure where this "thing" is going between the 2 of us as his lack of texts do not tally with his actions. The lack of text could be just an immature thinking on my part, hence would like to have a second opinion on this.
|
t3_2fromh
|
relationships
|
How to get over sexual [21F] fears with my [24M] boyfriend
|
So, my boyfriend and I just entered a sexual relationship (5 months!); it being my first. He is so sweet, loving, caring, and a great guy.
However I am having some issues. I was always the "good virgin girl," who could do no wrong in nobody's eyes. I was "pure" and "innocent" (in reality I've fooled around a little)
Now that I'm not a virgin anymore, my mom and her friends treat me like an adult, which is okay. They're asking me how I'm feeling and if I had a good time with my SO. My mom started me on BC and I'm suffering from the mood swings, nausea, etc etc.
When I'm moody, I start regretting having sex with him. (I don't in reality) We waited 3 months into the relationship and he promises me that he loves me and wouldn't use me for the sexual aspects. He stopped whenever I told him it hurt.
Whenever we get together alone, it's some hooking up here and there, but I attribute that to being in a LDR. However, I'm always scared that it's all he wants. Just recently, he didn't come over because he had an obligation all Saturday, (He didn't finish until 10PM) and didn't want to come Sunday. He said he wanted to spend the night. I'm trying to attribute this to him not wanting to drive the two hours back and forth in one day.
Before him, I was with a couple of guys who only used me, trying to have sex with me. It's all I'm used to, plus I have some history of sexual abuse.
He knows all this and swears he's not like the other guys. We do go out on dates and we have a lot in common. He buys me things I like and makes me things I want, let's me call him hubby, and speaks of our future, so I know he's here for the long haul. But still.. How do I get further in my sexual relationship without this constant fear of him leaving me when he gets what he wants?
|
Scared of entering sexual relationship but I really want to. Help!
|
t3_3v4nxi
|
relationships
|
I [20F] got way too drunk last night and I scared myself by nearly dying. Feeling weird and nervous.
|
Hi, so I don't usually drink much. When I do, I can go a *little* overboard, but I usually get home in a state that allows me to wash my face, brush my teeth and get ready for bed. So never too bad.
Last night I had about 6 drinks (of varying strengths) and ate quite a bit of food. Decided it was time to go home. Spoke with two friends and remember the conversations nice and clearly. Put my phone on charge. Did my usual getting-ready-for-bed thing mixed with a little bit of induced vomiting (because I knew I would be horribly hungover if I didn't).
Well, through the night, I must have thrown up without knowing it, because when I woke up there it was. And my housemate asked me if I was alright 'cause she heard me coughing.
THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE HOLY SHIT
I'm so scared, what if I'd choked - I presume that's what the coughing was. Fucking hell. **I'm not drinking again because clearly I can't keep it to a sensible amount.** I hate it. This has left me feeling really fucking weird. I'm just thinking I could have died.
I don't know what I'm after (reassurance and comforting probably) but I don't want to tell anyone I know in person about this.
|
got drunk, was so asleep/unconscious that I didn't realise I was throwing up in bed, apparently nearly choked. what the fuck
|
t3_n2g62
|
AskReddit
|
japanese desserts recipes (that's not too complicated or need a lot of hard-to-find ingredients)?
|
For new years eve, me and some friends are going to get together and be social. The plan is that all of one is in charge/responsible for different parts of the food (main dish, appetizer, dessert etc) and I got the dessert part.
The theme is "Japanese", so I've been looking around a bit on the internet for a fitting recipe/dessert and came across
But I tought that maybe reddit got some nice ideas and well, here I am.
One of the problematic things is that I live in the middle of nowhere in sweden, so getting hold of more "rare" ingredients would be quite hard and I'd rather not import.
|
Looking for simple but delicious japanese dessert recipes for new years. Any suggestions?
|
t3_33a9dr
|
relationships
|
I [27M] can't help my girlfriend [31F] to let go her deep heart breaking marriage story.
|
Okey I know this amazing girl since 2008, I was 20 and she was like 24. We were just friends until we lost contact for 5 years or so when she got married.
We got back in contact since last January when she found me by chance on facebook. And we kept meeting up since then for 2 to 3 days a week.
When things started to get more and more intense she kind of felt she was doing the wrong thing and every time we talk about it she remembers her ex asshole of a husband. And she's now keeping telling me our relationship won't go anywhere because she 'knows' nothing more serious could happen.
I think she's still not healed up yet, tonight she asked me to give her some time. And that she has no more energy for a relationship especially with the age difference between us and my hard-working situation (I work for like 10 hours a day 7 days a week) that keeps reminding her of the main issue that caused her divorce.
I don't know how to deal with this, I feel like I'm unable to provide any type of security...
|
I can't handle my girlfriend's broken heart to make from our relationship a new story.
|
t3_uz4nk
|
AskReddit
|
Sent my laptop to the manufacturer to repair. Came back in horrible condition. What can I do?
|
My laptop was having power issues so I sent it in for repair to Gateway. Took about two weeks which really sucked because I need it for many reasons. I finally got it back today and it's jacked up. Gashes on the chassis that holds the LCD. They're deep too so it's not like I can ignore it. Scratches on the top when it's shut. Then the thing that really shows how horrible they handled it, it a chunk of plastic sticking out of the bottom. I didn't even notice that until it scratched the hell out of me. I sent it in wrapped in 9 inches of bubble wrap (that's not an exaggeration). They sent it back packaged right so I know it happened there. What can I do? I don't want to send it back and be without it for another week or two.
|
Gateway beat the hell out of my laptop while in for repair.
|
t3_2gm4o9
|
relationships
|
Getting back out there
|
Hey guys,
A couple years ago, my ex [f, now 23] and me [m, now 25] broke up. I really loved this girl and it was not a mutual break up. Truth is, I still think about her a lot, probably more then I should. However, I have moved far away for grad school and have been moving one slowly over the past couple years.
When we first broke up I had some fwb which helped at first. But now I am in a new place and meeting people is hard. And I am finding it very difficult to connect with anyone anymore.
Now I hardly get up the courage go just get up and go talk to that pretty girl which catches me eye. But every now and then I do, usually with some liquid courage (alcohol) in me. If i'm not out at a party, bar or something of that social nature I DO NOT FEEL COMFORTABLE approaching people (especially a girl I am attracted to)
So over the last year or so I find whenever I feel like I am actually connecting with someone it falls through somehow. Usually it just ends up being a fake number which is given to me, or they just dont msg me back. It is getting very depressing and hopless.
I also have this anxiety about asking friends-of-friends out - I always just think word will come around that "Your friend Jimmy asked me out! Can we not invite him next time?" Sort of thing.
Any advice that you guys might have on this sort of thing would be helpful. But ultimately, I feel like I just needed to get some of this off my chest
|
I have had a hard time since my last break up 2 years ago. Dealing with constant rejection is getting depressing and making me feel hopless.
|
t3_1dncaw
|
relationships
|
Im 21 y.o and I don't know how I feel about marrying my fiancee(21 y.o) i've been with for 5 years.
|
So I'm a 21 year old male and I've been with a girl for 5 years. We fell crazily in love at the beginning and still love each other today. Last August I asked her to marry me, and we have a wedding planned for next spring. The only problem is that I was kind of under heavy pressure when I proposed, and now I don't know if I want to get married to please her, or because I truly want to get married. Also, because we have been together since 16, I feel like I haven't had a time to truly see what it's like to be single. I question if we should take a break for a while so I can go out and experience single life (mostly going to clubs and having sex with random women). But I know I love my fiancee, and I don't want to get anyone upset or heartbroken, especially her. What should I do? Is this feeling normal?
|
21 y.o. male proposes to gf, after a few months doesnt know if he truly wants to get married, or if he only wants to get married to please his fiancee. Additionally wonders about single life.What should he do? Is his feelings normal?
|
t3_2rs2sj
|
pettyrevenge
|
It's just a damn chair.
|
So in the office I currently work there are about 5 separate desk areas. I only started working here in June and my desk area is also used by the girl (whom I shall called Dominos) who works here at night. She is presumably been here a little while longer as part of the night staff although I have never met her.
When I come in at 5am I get my choice of any chair but bossman Hank Hill's chair. I like the chair sitting in the next desk. So I drag in the one I like and put the one I dislike at the other space. Cue 8 am and my cohorts are already in and hard at work using whatever chair is at the workstation. As you can see, these are not assigned chairs. I leave my cohorts to their work and don't bother them to switch out the chairs again when I leave.
The event: This morning I come in to do my usual routine. Another supervisor I worn alongside with whom I shall call Mountain Dew stops by to chat and asks me to please move the chairs back when I leave because Dominos is "raising Cain" about her chair being moved. Somewhat surprised I oblige Mountain Dew and switch the chairs at the end of my shift. I dont like to hear my coworkers are being harrassed by anyone on my count.
The revenge: The chair is back in the place Dominos wants it but I wont be silenced. I sit in the chair and lower it to the ground. Then I stand up and pull the lever that make the seat lean forward. Then I adjust the back of the chair so that it is laying down. It now feels like an angeled operating table when you try to sit in it. You have to sit down to fix the last two. But my work isnt done, I log (kick) her off the computer as she likes to leave herself locked on for ease of access. What's she gonna do? Complain about me adjusting the seat for my comfort? Bitch.
|
I will not be bossed around by Dominos.
|
t3_1rectd
|
relationship_advice
|
(21/m) Unsure of how to handle my current situation.
|
I(21/m) recently had a great night with an older woman (37/f). She is a friend of my mother's so Ive known her for years. It was recently my 21st birthday so my mom, stepdad, and my mother's friend all had dinner together then went to a local bar for some drinks the night before my actual birthday. After a while my mom and stepdad were ready to but because I rode with them and don't live with them, her friend offered to take me home. Once we separated, it decided that my birthday celebration shouldn't end so early so me and the friend went out to another local spot for some drinks. After a while the night was coming to an end and where things would end up became the topic of conversation. Unfortunately it was brought up by some strangers we had been drinking with at the bar which made things uncomfortable pretty quickly. As it turned out she wasn't bothered at all and eventually asked what my thoughts on the matter were. I eventually admitted that I was into her and she did the same. The catch is that she is one of my mother's best friends and that eventually led to a mutual agreement that nothing could happen between us. While on the way home we talked some more with none of the awkwardness that might be expected after what happened in the bar and once again agreed that nothing can happen. We hugged and she dropped me off, putting an end to the night.
It's now been a couple of days and with the exception her wishing me a happy birthday the next day we haven't talked. I feel like I should say something but for a couple reasons I haven't been able to. One of the main reasons I haven't said anything is that after her terrible marriage she doesn't date and the last thing I want to do is seem clingy or needy or anything along those lines. If nothing else I want to avoid any potential awkwardness the next time we see each other because chances are we will be with my mom. What should I say or do to at least minimize a potentiallly awkward meeting?
|
I had a great night with an older women who happens to be my moms friend that would have resulted in sleeping together if not for the fact that, as I mentioned before, that she is my mother's friend. Dont want to seem clingy but would like to, at the very least, prevent any potential awkwardness the next time we are together. What do I say or do to prevent an awkward situation?
|
t3_1i35u5
|
jobs
|
Inquiry about my experience with a staffing agency
|
I was let go yesterday from a position with a company I was set up with through a staffing agency. It was very typical administrative work. I scanned stuff. I organized folders. Simple stuff. I had been there since February.
Well, the last month of so I've really dropped the ball. I've been applying to other jobs on the clock. I've been really slacking off. I would post on forums and instant message. I've made it to the final stages of an interview process for a much better opportunity so I don't care I lost the position. I never felt comfortable or happy there. Being a temp can put you in a position to feel really degraded.
My question concerns the excuse they used to let me go. It concerns me. I would go on CNN etc. I read an article about the Boston bomber being in court yesterday etc. Nothing crazy. They told the agency I was let go not because I was slacking and clearly didn't care, they said I was looking up bombing and cyber security things and that I was potentially a violent threat to the office. This is really strange and concerning to me.
Is this just a normal way for them to justify to the agency why I had to be let go? I know some of the people that work there well now. They're not going to tell everyone I was some crazy terrorist are they? I feel because the instant message logs showed me talking to their employees about how the business wasn't respectable they tried to find a way to perform some kind of character assassination.
|
company used CNN/NBC web history to say I was looking up bombings and web security threats on their network.
|
t3_2zxbdg
|
relationships
|
I'm [26M] moving into a new place with 3 buddies. Civil way to decide who gets which bedroom?
|
I'm currently moving into a new house with 3 of my buddies, let's call them M, R, and N. We have gone to school together for 3 years and have been good friends throughout. There are obviously 4 bedrooms in the house, let's label them #1-4.
Room #1 is the smallest room. Does have access to a deck though. Least desirable.
Room #2 is in between rooms #1 and #3. Has a neat wall of shelves.
Room #3 is a neat hardwood floor room that also has deck access. Probably most desirable.
Room #4 is by itself on the third floor and is easily the largest.
We briefly talked again yesterday after we checked the house out again. M and I did 99% of the work searching for a place to live. M was the one that found this house and has been the one following up with the landlord on everything. He likes #3 and #4. R likes room #2. N isn't particular but has a huge desk that likely won't fit in #1.
I too am not overly particular and don't want to create a rift before we move in. However, the idea of living in #1 isn't ideal though as my queen bed will take up a majority of the space. #3 and #4 are my favorites.
Has anyone ever been in a similar situation? Is there a fair way to choose rooms without causing problems?
|
4 guys moving into a 4 bedroom house. Not clear how to decide on rooms. Looking for advice.
|
t3_2wug27
|
relationships
|
Advice needed
|
Hi guys
So I (M 19) am having a hard time trying to understand a girl's (F 18) actions. I really like her. At parties she always acknowledges my presence, sometimes with a wrist grab or a hug.
Last time however she came up very close and being the complete novice that I am, I hugged her. My friends later told me I should have made out with her,been kicking myself ever since. In my defense, I didn't want to make an awkward situation. I have seen her with other guys though( not complaining) so I don't know if she is interested in me and if she is waiting for me to make a move. If yes, how do I go about it, I have never kissed a girl and need all the advice I can get. This is obviously going to sound ridiculous, and even after much internet research I am scared to kiss her because I have no idea what I am doing. It it something that just comes naturally?
|
need help understand a girls actions and whether I should go in for the kill
|
t3_111gar
|
relationship_advice
|
[22/m] Virgin(to intercourse) found out my new friend [18/f] (who openly want to sleep with me) has slept around quite a bit. I need some advice.
|
Hi, as I mentioned I am a virgin to intercourse I've gotten handjobs and head a bunch, but I've never "sealed the deal". I met this girl in class and we started talking. About 2 days after talking, we began to hang out. I made all the right moves(imo), went in for the kiss (so did she) and she liked it. The more we hung out the more we learned about each other. She's really pretty except for the fact that she chooses to divulge information about her sexual life thus far. She's slept with a couple guys (I think 3 maybe more). That doesn't really bother me, the fact that she talks about it like no big deal is the part that gets me. Also she joke about her co-worker having sex with her as "drilling for oil". That was the nail in the coffin. Here's the bad part: Part of me wants to have sex this girl because I like her a lot but a part of me keeps wanting to call her gross and tell her to leave me alone. I know it's fucked up and I'm a better person than that, can anyone offer me any advice? Thank you
|
About to have sex, but second guessing it because girl seems kind of promiscuous.
|
t3_2uo1li
|
relationships
|
Men & women of Reddit: is it that common, does it happen to a lot of men, and is it a big deal?
|
I always assumed Rachel Green just said those words to be hurtful in the midst of a breakup, but how much truth do her words hold?
I'm a 30-something-ish male dating the girl of my dreams with an ass to die for. We have a very healthy sexual relationship or so I thought, but my lack of performance lately has made me insecure enough to question everything.
It's happened in the past and I never thought it was a big deal, but when I see the look of disappointment on her face it tears me up inside. She's an absolute angel and is never disappointed at me, but rather at herself because she doesn't feel attractive enough. This. makes. me. feel. terrible.
I can tell her how much I love her and reassure her that it's not her, but nothing will ease her heart and mind other than a proper fuck. Before seeking outside help and popping pills, I thought I'd weigh in with the rest of the community.
The deets:
- stress level: low-mild most days. I worry about family finances and work stuff from time-to-time, but for the most part I'm rather relaxed.
- exercise level: I've been lazy for the last month or so, but I'm rather slim.
- fatigue level: I'm one of those people who can sleep all day long and still not feel rested. I have my good energy days and my bad energy days.
- personal time: I actually don't jack off in between seeing her as we see each other quite often.
- frequency: ~5-10/week depending on how often we see each other, but usually on the higher end of that spectrum. This is healthy right?
A little more background information on the recent series of events:
- fucked her silly last night, no issues there
- woke up this morning to another round, but lost it midway through
|
We're both in love, we're both horndogs, but one of us can't perform at times.
|
t3_2i98xv
|
relationships
|
Me [30 M] with my girlfriend [32 F] of 10 months. She slept with someone else 2 months into us dating. I just found out.
|
My girlfriend and I met on OkCupid and have been dating for about 10 months now. Everything is going reasonably well. I was sitting next to her on the couch and grabbed her laptop to order some food. I noticed in her order history an address from several months ago that didn't really make sense, so I asked about it. She was non-chalant about it at first, but when pressed told me it was a guy she went on a date with.
At this point, I was a little incredulous and pointed out that we were dating at that time. She agreed and pointed out that it was only 2 months in and we weren't "official" at that point. The problem is that when we had been dating a month or so, I brought up us taking down our dating profiles. She said she wasn't really ready, but that she was "the kind of girl that only dates or sleeps with one person at a time."
To me, this was a pretty strong implication of exclusivity. I pointed that out and she said that at the time she meant it. She had never dated more than one person at once before and never did after. She said the reason this happened was that at that point she was unsure about our relationship and felt that she needed to go on another date to see if she was ready to get serious with me, which she decided she was afterwards.
She said she wasn't planning on sleeping with this guy, sees it as a mistake and wouldn't do it again if she could redo things.
I feel a bit like she violated my trust in her and am having a hard time with this. It's not exactly cheating like it would be if this happened a week ago, but it still bothers me
What do you think, Reddit?
|
My girlfriend slept with another guy 2 months into us dating, when I had good reason to believe we were exclusive.
|
t3_3ypn6l
|
relationships
|
My [25M] girlfriend of two years [23F] is much more attractive than I am, and even though she says it doesn't bother her, I feel disgusting.
|
Hello r/relationships. I've read so many posts and so many comments I thought I'd try and share my own problems with you all and see if you can help 'fix' me. I'm fairly unattractive. I have long, scruffy hair, a beard I can hardly keep under control, and I'm pretty overweight. My girlfriend is a petite blonde, green eyes, slim yet curvy, and incredibly beautiful. I am so lucky to have her. She's worth so much more than I am, and I know people stare at her everyday, men worth a lot more than me. I keep worrying that one day she'll see what I'm worth and leave.
So she says she thinks I'm attractive, and she says she really likes guys like me and always has even before we met - like the long hair and scruffy look. I believe her and I'm happy she feels this way because I think she's beautiful and I know 80% of people agree with me, lol. I really want to work on my self-confidence. I'm seeing a therapist and have for a long time because of my self esteem, and I've tried many different therapists but none seem to have a very good effect. The best feeling in the world is when we make love and I can feel she loves me back and thinks I'm worth the world to her, but I still can't fully believe it.
It's like I'm always afraid I'm in this dream or something and I'm going to wake up and be like, fuck. I never even had her. Lol, this sounds ridiculous. I don't even know what I'm asking for anymore.
There you have it, Reddit. Please help me?
|
I feel like I'm not good enough for my girlfriend and never will be. Even though she always insists she loves me and thinks I'm attractive, I know I'm ugly and she's gorgeous.
|
t3_1pd70x
|
relationships
|
My little bro [17/M] hates me [25/F] and I don't know what I did or how we can be friends again?
|
For the last 4 years or so my brother has hated my guts. I can't talk to him or even be in the same room as he is because he gets super pissed off for absolutely no reason. I can't even watch TV with him without him storming out of the room. I live at home with my parents and I work plus go to school so I'm busy and always on the run. I buy him things, I give him money, I buy him food, I drive him places. I try to be as nice as I possibly can but I'm not sure what else to do to get him to like me as a sister and a friend.
We used to be such good pals until I moved away to college for 4 years. But that was a while ago.
I'm just chalking it up to him being a moody and annoying teenager but I want to get to know him better. All I want is my little bro to talk to me. Am I asking too much? Is this just a really long phase? Are we too far apart in age that we just don't have enough in common to talk about? Should I just leave him alone and not talk to him at all? I haven't spoken to him in about 4 months. What I mean is, I only ask him to pass me the salt, nothing else. Even when I say things like that I get death glares. I've been giving him the most space I possibly can but it's difficult when you're living under the same roof. Am I the shittiest sister ever or am I just uncool?
|
How can I strengthen my relationship with my teenage bro without being too pushy or annoying?
|
t3_1lgzit
|
relationship_advice
|
Me [22F] seeing a wonderful guy [22M]. Debating ending things because the "timing isn't right". Stupid decision, or smart move?
|
Hello reddit. Longtime lurker, first time poster. Apologies if any of the formatting is off.
I am a recent college graduate who has been seeing an old high school crush for about a month. He is truly sublime, and I have never felt this sort of magnetic pull towards another human being. We are not yet considering ourselves in a relationship, as we are taking things slowly and getting to know each other.
However, I am afraid that there are a few big obstacles that may prevent us from being in a relationship or sabotage it entirely:
* We both have work to do on ourselves. We each have our own issues that we are actively working on with the help of (separate) therapists, and we both have a lot of room for growth.
* I am seeking a 9 to 5 job, while he is serving at a bar. Landing a 9 to 5 will be a stressful transition, and it will also affect how often we get to see each other.
* We both live at home with our parents. I will not be getting my own place until a year from now. This obviously hampers the development of physical intimacy, but emotional intimacy as well. Having a cozy night in with a movie and a bottle of wine isn't an option at either of our houses.
I can't help but think that six months from now, or a year from now, a relationship would have a much better chance at survival, when I have my own place, an established job, and boatload of therapy under my belt.
I am afraid that if I try a relationship with him now, it would fail miserably because the timing isn't right.
I am also afraid of him becoming "the one who got away" if I don't give it a shot while I have my chance.
What do you think, Reddit? Is it better to give it a shot now or wait until the timing is better? I'll have a chance to discuss this with my therapist this week, but in the meantime, I'm interested in your opinions.
|
I'm crazy about this guy and want a relationship to work, but there are obstacles. I don't know if I should try a relationship now or wait until the circumstances change.
|
t3_3d1wn6
|
relationship_advice
|
[16/m] I need to make more close friends
|
I go to high school, and I don't have as many close friends as I would like to. That doesn't even mean a friend who you can confide your darkest secrets in, for me this means someone who I just feel comfortable hanging out with outside of school (and who would actually consider inviting me to stuff). All the other guys in my year group have big friend groups, and so I feel like it is impossible to become close to them because they are all so used to their groups that it would feel weird bringing me in. I'm sure I am not the only person to every experience this, so I was hoping for some advice on how to become better friends with people.
|
I need to become friends with people who already have friend groups, and so would feel weird about bringing me in
|
t3_ohvqn
|
AskReddit
|
Reddit, please help me. I'm thinking about cheating on my girlfriend.
|
I'm dating this girl. We used to be boyfriend and girlfriend, but5 I broke up with her because I wanted to see other women. Things didn't work out with the other girls, so we started dating again. Actually, we never stopped seeing each other. We just ended our relationship on Facebook, and started openly talking to other people. And things got a lot better. I fell back in love with her in the process. But now, I've started talking to other girls again on dating websites. I've already made plans to talk on the phone with one on Monday. I'm planning on meeting up with her, but I feel horrible, and I think my girlfriend knows that something is up. I love her, but I don't know if I can stay with her. We seem to fight all the time, and I feel like she starts them just top mess with me. She's the first girl I've ever dated. I was completely isolated, battling a schizo affective disorder known a delusional disorder for two years before I met her, and as such, I'm very hesitant to leave the first person who has returned my love in my life. She's so special to me, but she lives an hour away (in LA, fuck traffic), and I might be leaving for school next fall, so I don't know if I want anything long term right now. What should I do? I don't want to cheat on her, but I feel like I'd be cheating myself if I didn't see this other girl. I'm afraid to break up with her because I might regret it. Do I see the girl? Do I tell her? Or do I do what feels like the honorable thing to do and cut off contact with the new girl?
|
I'm making plans to cheat on my girlfriend; having second thoughts
|
t3_zf5c1
|
Advice
|
IAmA a guy who built a wooden box and buried his cat only to have to dig it up and move it because of his neighbor's complaint. He is owed payback (legally only), and I need some advice on what to do.
|
I rent a home with my wife, and up until very recently we had a dog and 3 cats. Several weeks ago, one of our cats ran out the front door and down the street. By the title of this reddit, you know we couldn't catch it. Several days ago, which happened to be after a brutal storm, I was at work when I received a call from someone stating to have found our cat. It was deceased. I thanked him for calling me and told him I would be over after work to pick up the remains.
When finished at work, I made my way to Home Depot. I eventually bought and had some wood cut so I can fashion a small box. I got home, dug a hole, made 5/6 sides of the box and subsequently made my way to the neighbor's home (only about 4 houses down) to pick up the carcass. The gentleman whom called me was nice enough to place the remains in a trash bag with newspaper so I didn't have to see Kitten. His collar had been removed and had been used to tie the trash bag closed. I got back and placed the bag in the box and closed it up with some final nails. Finally, I placed him in the ground and buried him.
I get a knock on the door a bit later, and it's my landlord (Different from my neighbor). He was pleasant, but indicated that the neighbor had pitched a fit and that I would need to move the remains. He was nice enough to offer his back yard as a burial plot for Kitten, but I declined. I ended up calling my in-laws; after digging up the box, I drove over to their home and reburied the box.
Advice on what to do next. He needs to get his, but I ethically won't do anything illegal. What should I do?
|
My cat died and I buried it. I had to dig it up and move it because my neighbor is a huge dick-head.
|
t3_1504k0
|
AskReddit
|
How can I thank my brother?
|
I have not seen him in almost ten years. We have had a spotty relationship ever since we were kids, and have not been really close since I was about 12 or so. Our communication over the last decade has been mostly through Facebook, with the occasional phone calls on birthdays and holidays.
He has never been particularly close with our family. He moved from city to city once he was 18, and has had problems with anger and alcohol in the past. We would go months without knowing where he was, or if he was alive. But he has made drastic changes to his life over the last few years, and the extent of those changes hit me yesterday.
We have not exchanged Christmas gifts since we were kids. But much to my surprise, we received a parcel yesterday with gifts for my wife and I, and for our children too. His card said that he is finding it hard to be away from family, especially around the holidays. He has always been known to keep feelings to himself, so for me to read this was a bit of a shock.
I feel like a pretty lousy human being for not even considering sending him a gift. I was just going to call him, like every other year. He has made an exceptional effort to not only break the status quo, but shatter it with this loving, generous gesture.
I miss him. It has been so long since I have seen him. He has not met his nieces, or my wife. We live a country apart, so seeing him is just not feasible.
So, reddit, how can I thank him for this? What can you do for someone who has shown you such kindness so unexpectedly? I have struggled to think of something, but I keep drawing blanks. Thanks for reading!
|
Brother who I have not seen in years sends my family and I a Christmas package, after a decade of us not exchanging gifts. Need ideas to say thank you.
|
t3_3si9c4
|
tifu
|
[TIFU] By Snapchatting my Friend's Wife
|
Re-post because it said I needed more context.
So whenever I usually have something funny/embarrassing of my friend, I would snapchat it to his wife.
We'll call her Abby and we'll call my friend Ryan.
Abby wanted to go to dinner with Ryan, but he told her that he made plans to study with me (We have finals coming up). When I got to his house, Abby told him that she was going to a party. Ryan asks her why and she responded because he had to study tonight.
So fast forward 1 hour, we haven't studied yet, and are messing around. I saw an Abs Roller and a yoga mat on the ground that he just bought and I have been asking him to go to the gym with me forever so I poked at it and laughed because he would rather buy these insignificant workout pieces than go to the gym with me.
So he said watch this and hopped on the ground showing me how to use it. I took out my phone to snap it and as I predicted, he fails, flops, and we both laugh. I snap the clip over to Abby and shortly after, Ryan gets a text: "I thought you were studying...?"
That's when I knew I fucked up. lol
|
Friend's wife went out to a party by herself because he had plans to study with me. We didn't study, and without thinking, sent a Snapchat of him messing around.
|
t3_m3xmk
|
AskReddit
|
Is the US Constitution basically considered a Holy Text to many Americans?
|
Coming from the UK my view of America is formed mostly through our own news and media coverage, and The Wire. In terms of what being American is, and how it affects peoples lives, I see Colbert and the Daily Show's take on things, especially their take on Fox News and so. So from the off I acknowledge my information is clearly not the most balanced.
The best way I found to summarise what I see with arguments like Gun Control and such like is that many Americans appear to treat the constitution as something of a Holy Book, mostly alongside the Bible, and the Bill Of Rights as the 10 commandments. I hear and see people citing the way American life works as correct because of the Constitution, as if it were delivered from upon high and is basically sacrosanct. There often seems to be a lack of intelligent debate about firearms in the home etc, as the 2nd Amendment says it's a good thing, and people possibly don't stop to make their own opinions on the subject. This sounds an awful lot like religious worship to me.
I've been made aware of some religious movements in America that are specifically based around the belief that America is the new world, and God did bring people to the country to eradicate Native Americans and leave the rest of the sinful world etc, but I wouldn't think for a second that many Americans believe anything this extreme, however you guys really do seem to love your country far far far more than any other nation I've ever been aware of.
|
Is being American pretty much a religion in it's own right to many?
|
t3_3tfyk8
|
relationships
|
My[19 M] GF[17 F]of 1.5 months is depressed and moody. What can I do?
|
My girflriend is really often depressed and moody. She has a hard history, and has been trough a lot in her short life. So I have a clue why she is so depressed, and she really has reasons to be.
Only thing is, our relationship is pretty new, and as a BF I should be there to comfort her and listen her. I'ts just so hard when she is like 80% of the time depressed and sad. She also gets angry really easily because all of this. How should I cope with this? She has said that it's not good time for her to be in a relationships, cause she has so much own problems but still wants to, cause she loves me. I don't want to always worry about my GF, but I feel like its my job to take care of her. Should I just try to cheer her up? Or give her space and let her open up when the right time comes (if it ever comes). Normally this would be normal(everyone is depressed sometimes ha?) but she is like almost all the time. When I'm not with her, when I'm with her, when we sleep, when we fuck, when we chill. I'ts really hard to see someone so sad, and I cant fully enjoy our relationship. Help
|
GF depressed and sad almost all the time. I dont know how to cope with this, cause i feel somekinda responsibility about cheering her up. Her problems are not related to me. What should I do?
|
t3_1vwijw
|
relationships
|
Me [21/F] missing my boyfriend[21/M] and don't know how to cope. Together almost 3 years.
|
My boyfriend and I are best friends and I love being with him. We recently moved states to attend school. We both go to school for about 15 hrs a week. He has also started a job that is about 25 hrs a week, and I am about to start a 15 hr a week job.
---
After all is said and done, I'm only getting to see him during car rides and about 1-2 hours at night before we sleep.
---
I'm really starting to miss being with him. I feel selfish for being bothered, but I really feel lonely. We live miles away from town and share a car, so while he's at work I'm stuck at home and vice versa.
What can I do to shake this empty feeling?
|
Spending lots of time away from bf, missing him.
|
t3_2cya4t
|
relationships
|
[20M] Lied about having sex with a distant friend, now she's coming to visit and I'm caught in my reprehensible lie. What is the right thing to do?
|
I lived with this girl for a year, and harboured a crush on her. She went back to her home country and I got over myself so we became close friends. I visited her last year so she's visiting me this year.
I went to University after she left and people were talking about sex and relationships, so in an immature and morally corrupt attempt to look more grown up I said I'd been having sex with my friend which is a complete lie but the first thing to come to mind. I suppose I thought there'd be no consequences....
Now she's coming to visit two years after this and I just remembered what I told them so long ago. I'm obviously hoping they either don't remember or don't bring it up but if they do... well I'd definitely lose a friend and they'll think I'm scum (I am) for lying about things like that.
My girlfriend knows about the lie and the reality but if everyone else were to find out then they'd lose all respect for me. The worst thing of all is I'm sure my visiting friend will be disgusted and I'll lose one of my closest companions.
I'm caught in a trap of my own creation and I'm not sure how to act. Should I tell everyone and try to laugh it off? Should I just hope they don't bring it up? What if they figure it out? I'm scared I'll lose two years of progress (before that I had zero social life) over such a juvenile decision. **What should I do in this situation?
|
Lied about having sex with a distant friend, now she's coming to visit and if it comes up I'm caught in a reprehensible lie. Wat do?
|
t3_18z1z5
|
relationship_advice
|
Running out of ideas, options, and sanity. Please Help.
|
I am a 24/f. My boyfriend and I have been together going on 4 years. There are issues over the past 2 of those years that have been addressed, and nothing has really been done to help resolve them. We rarely have sex, and by rarely I mean maybe once every month and a half, possibly longer. He never goes out with me, (I'm not the clubbing kind of girl, just go out for drinks with friends) which I have made very clear to him that it's a problem. He's kind of anti-social, but never used to be. He sees 2 different doctors, and I have asked him to talk to them about anything that might be causing these issues. I don't press him, I have given him all the time in the world. I feel like I'm trapped. I love him, very much, to the point where I could see myself spending my life with him. But as of recently, the problems that haven't been fixed are driving me away. I find myself having feelings for someone else, who has let me know that he is in love with me. (a friend of mine) I have been shoving him away, because I'm in a relationship, but I am getting to the point where I'm wondering if I'm just afraid of change because I'm comfortable, and mistaking comfort for love. My friend that has feelings for me has requested that we not speak/see each other for a few weeks. It's kind of killing me. What's wrong with me? I'm I crazy? I need help, and have nowhere to turn. Any advice would be amazing.
|
My LTR seems empty due to outstanding issues that haven't been fixed, and my mind/feelings are starting to wander to other men.
|
t3_3te35a
|
relationships
|
I (18F) find myself drawn to men that are in their 30's. Is this normal??
|
I have always noticed within the last year or so, I have found myself drawn to men that are 10+ years older than me. Sexually, they are more attractive to me, but I never pursued them.
I have had only one serious relationship (4 years together), and we just recently broke up. I haven't spoken to him since. But he is the only man i have been with. He is 22 years old.
But he has a brother, who is 28. His brother has a beautiful wife and an adorable son. But anytime I would visit, I found myself really really attracted to him. I NEVER ACTED ON IT, and never brought it up. Since then, I have found many attractive men twice my age. And they flirt with me and it just makes me feel good.
I don't even know if this is the right sub for this.. I guess I'm just wondering if this attraction I'm having is normal...
|
I (18F) have noticed how attracted I am toward men at least twice my age. Is this normal?
|
t3_ptifv
|
AskReddit
|
I am 20 years old, seeking eye surgery advice.
|
Hey Reddit,
I am a male with farsightedness and astigmatism. When I was younger I had lazy eye and my eye muscles did not like to work together. I went through patching and all that jazz. My eyesight now is much better than when I was 4 years old. My prescription has been stable now for about 3 years and my eyes are not changing.
Any eye doctors out there that can tell me some treatment options? Money is not a major problem but I would like to get what is best for me. If you had a condition similar to mine please tell me your stories of success or failure.
Some more info on my eyes, I do not know my prescription by heart. Without my glasses every thing is blurry but I can read large text and see faces and moving things etc. If I didn't have to read anything I could get by if my glasses broke.
|
? I have bad eyesight, looking for advice on treatment options, read first paragraph at least.
|
t3_2s9h26
|
relationships
|
Me [25 M/F] Feeling depressed over a break up that happened year ago.
|
A really long story short, I went through a break up a little over a year ago and it broke me in ways I never thought I could break. I moved forward with my life, I did my best to keep busy, stay positive, look at the day I was in and not the future or the past. That all changed a couple weeks ago. For some reason, im not sure why, I started becoming depressed. Maybe it was more hours at work, maybe I wasn't eating enough, I walk to work and walk my dog so exercise isn't an issue. Whatever the case it started and it has only progressed.
Its not uncommon for me to think about my ex, or dream about him at least once a month, but recently its been bad. After the break up I realized any time I got depressed thats when thoughts/dreams having to do with him came about. Usually I can shut them off by, eating, watching tv, listening to music, going on a walk, what have you. Recently everything reminds me of him again.
I always heard "To get over someone, get under someone else". That didn't work for me this time. I haven't found anyone I even remotely like or can tolerate. Finding an S.O. isn't really the issue here. The issue im having is the fact that I lost my best friend for 8 years and I can not just replace him.
Im not sure what to do anymore. I go to work, I go out with friends and do fun activities, I keep busy and at the same time I do give myself down time. I just don't know how to handle this loss. People say "Go through the pain" I do. People say "Keep busy and distracted" I do. None of it makes it any easier, hurt any less or make it go away any faster. I can't handle this on again off again pain.
|
Time doesn't heal all wounds. Distraction and keeping busy does erase memories. Feeling the pain doesn't lessen it. Now what?
|
t3_35hx29
|
relationships
|
I [F19] need someone to talk to that isn't my ex [M24]
|
My ex broke up with me about two months ago. Yesterday would have been our one year anniversary.
My dad tried to take his own life last Tuesday. To top it off uni has been stressful to say the least (I've has to ask for multiple extensions and taken a fair amount of time off). I used to go to my ex for emotional support and now I'm beginning to realise I have no one. I don't feel like I can talk to friends about it because none of them understand like he would and it's a lot to dump on to someone. My family has been great and very supportive but now we're all going through this together and I won't burden them further with my petty problems.
I don't know who to talk to. I feel so weighed down by everything that's gone on since the beginning of February I don't know what to do.
|
I've had the most horrible start to the year and have no one to turn to
|
t3_3gsdin
|
relationships
|
My boyfriend [25 M] of 8 months left me [21 F]. My friend thinks he's playing games.
|
Please forgive my lengthy post. This is my first time posting on reddit. Thanks for taking a look!
So me and this guy started seeing each other February 2015. In the beginning he made it clear to me that he wasn't looking for anything serious. As things progressed, he started calling me his girl and doing more relationship-type things with me. I asked him if this meant he changed his mind. He never gave a clear answer but continued to call me his girl and called himself my man. We dont see any other people, we go out on dates often, he introduces me to all his friends, we go to shows together, hold hands in public, etc.
He opened up to me and told me a lot about his troubled past. Things that happened in his childhood and issues with relationships with women. I thought of this as a good thing. He opened up to me and wanted me to have an understanding of where he was coming from.
Today he sent me a looooooong facebook message saying that he has to "break it off before it goes any further" also saying that he's damaged and has to take his leave. He continues to talk about himself during this entire paragraph. He also says that he loves me and that would maybe like to take me out in the future if I'm available and would have him.
This isn't the first time he's done this. He's "left" me twice before and said similar things. He came back those other times. Ive vented to my best friend those times as well. She insists that he's just playing games and wants to know that he has me to come back to whenever he feels like. Im aware that he has a big ego. He tells me about his fantasies about having multiple women surrounding him at all times and having them follow any of his commands.
Do you guys think he's full of it? Or is he genuinely upset? Should I not accept him if he comes back? Am I the one who is out of line?
|
My boyfriend has a troubled past and says thats why he has to leave me. He breaks up with me and then comes back. What do I do?
|
t3_34kiiy
|
relationships
|
My boyfriend [18m] never makes time for me [17f] and I'm not sure if he still likes me.
|
Me and my boyfriend have been dating for nine months, which is pretty long for high school I'd suppose. We're in grade twelve and we are going to prom next month.
The thing is, he is very serious about school. He never skips, spends half of his school days studying and doing homework.
Me, I took easy classes, skip four or more times a week, I never have homework, and I am just filled with free time. I have a lot of time with my thoughts. And I am VERY emotional, I can't help it.
We really don't have a lot in common, and at first that's what I liked. He never really spends the time to look into the things I'm interested in, though.
We only hang out on Fridays and Saturdays, sometimes he cancels on me, the past three weeks we've only hung out once a week. Today he's sick.
I have my flaws too. I've never been able to express my anger or disappointment... I did today and he got mad, telling me that this is temporary and when his AP exam is done he'll have lots of time to spend with me.
I'm also very passive aggressive and I can't help it.
The thing is... if he doesn't bother to spend time with me is our relationship really that serious? Does he even really love me at all?
Whenever I express any form of disappointment he always tells me 'what do you want me to do?' and I just say sorry and forget about it.
He's angry that I complain over something he has no control over.
|
I'm not good at communicating my disappointment with him, he's always busy
|
t3_3254lu
|
relationships
|
Me [25 F] with my girlfriend [26 F] of one year, having trouble dealing with an open relationship
|
So my girlfriend and I have been together for just over one year. Things are great, she is the most wonderful person I've ever been with, and we're deeply in love. She told me from the beginning that she did not want to be monogamous. I was okay with that, but only in an intellectual way. I was always afraid of the day she would want to sleep with other people. It took a year, but it happened a few weeks ago.
The thing is, she is amazing about it. She has been in my position before of being new to an open relationship, so she is constantly there to talk. She is 100% open and transparent about everything. I feel like because she is so great and respectful about the situation that I am in the wrong for my feelings - of jealousy and sadness. I am not jealous of the other person. I am just saddened that she wants to spend time with a person who is not me.
I am also leaving in a couple weeks for a 3-month trip abroad and communication will be difficult. I just wish she wanted to spend these last couple weeks with me and that we could deal with the open relationship stuff later. I keep on getting mad at her for stupid things and blowing things out of proportion, as if everything was symbolic of greater problems in our relationship. I am pushing her away and she pulls me closer. But I feel hurt by her attitude towards open relationships - the question of not doing it has never been on the table. She needs to be free and autonomous. Her needs are valid and unchanging, but I feel like mine are something that I need to process and move on from.
I want her to be happy. I want to give her what she wants. How can I get over this? Her sleeping with another person in no way diminishes our love - I know this. Yet I constantly feel like it makes me want to push her away because I feel hurt. I want our relationship to be solid again, but I feel like I'm on shaky ground right now.
|
Having trouble dealing with an open relationship despite my partner needing it and being absolutely amazing about the whole situation. Pushing her away when I just want to be close.
|
t3_2t5rw7
|
relationships
|
Me [24F] with my [36M] boyfriend of a year.We're moving together and I'm terrified.
|
I love my boyfriend to death. He's my best friend and soul mate. We've discussed marriage and both agree that we would like to live with each other before getting engaged.
I'm so excited about our future together, but here's the the thing-- I'm TERRIFIED of living with him. He's lived with two other girlfriends prior to me, but I've never lived with an SO before and have no idea what to expect. It's a level of intimacy that I can't even quite comprehend. Not to mention I'm an only child and have had only had one roommate in my life. I'm worried about everything from the basic stuff (how do I go #2 without him knowing?!) to the more serious (will this ruin the excitement of seeing each other?).
I feel like I know him sooo well, but it occurs to me that I've never spent more than three nights at his apartment without at least a one night break. I've also always been able to "get away" to my apartment if I need space. We'll be moving into a relatively small 1 bathroom apartment. I am a bit of a loner/introvert at times and really value alone time. Will I get sick of him? Will he get sick of me? I'm so scared! Any wisdom is much appreciated!!
|
I'm moving in with my boyfriend and am terrified. Can anyone offer advice?
|
t3_1lzk6n
|
relationships
|
I [f/17] need advice about a crush [m/17]
|
I really like this guy. Let's call him Bob. Bob & I have been friends for a little while & I started developing feelings for him. We tell each other a lot, & we have a lot in common, too. We don't even text all the time like normal teens, we talk on the phone, too. Recently, he's been there for me a lot more. He's helped me through anxiety attacks & always tries to make sure I'm okay. We've been playing music during lunch and every time I look up, he's looking at me. I don't know if he likes me or not. But I really want to kiss him. How do I do that? We're both really awkward. Also, he wants me to sing a song I wrote tomorrow, & he doesn't know its about him.
|
how do I tell if my crush likes me & kiss him?
|
t3_4d5tnj
|
tifu
|
TIFU by not wanting to shave my mustache when I was 13.
|
This did not happen today. Or this week. Or this decade. Sorry about that.
Well, here goes. You know how many young boys (12-14 years old) are usually embarrassed by their sparse little rat fur mustaches that look like some tiny Moses came and split that shit all to the sides, and also, for some reason, by the idea of shaving? No? Anyone? Just me, then, okay.
So when I was 14, I was in that situation (the rat Moses mustache thing) and I didn't want to shave because I thought it would grow thicker and I didn't want to be a full man, yet. My solution — waxing. I sneaked on my sister's things and stole one of those little strips (probably a really old one) with green wax included and thought "dis is gon b esy" (yes, this is how 13 year olds talk in my head). Well, it was not. Not esy at all.
As you can imagine, I had no idea what the hell I was doing and that little strip didn't come with instructions so I just stuck it below my nose, rubbed it a little and BAM, ripped it off with all my strength. The problem was my strength wast much. The strip came off but chunks of wax were still stuck to my gypsy woman mustache. I panicked and tried to rub it all off. I rubbed and rubbed and rubbed until it all came off. "Awsum".
Next day I get up to go to school. Not only do I still have a pubestache, I also have two huge symmetrical circular blood red burns below my nose, from all the rubbing the night before. I had to come up with an excuse (I had a cold and said those were marks from all the blowing of my nose, I don't know why the heck I thought this was a good excuse) because I looked like an ugly stupid caterpillar with those things on my face for about two weeks.
Suddenly, shaving didn't sound so embarrassing anymore.
|
Was a stupid kid, had gypsy woman mustache, tried to wax it, got huge symmetrical red burns on my face for weeks.
|
t3_ufzbt
|
relationships
|
How much do I own my father?
|
I had a lot of problem as child. My dad was violet to my mom and me, they didn't educate or motivate me with anything. I was fat, unshaped and smelly. My dad was and is still a heavy drinker. Because of the problems at home I barely managed to finish school.
Now i'm studying and it's going okay. However, my Dad started paying me some money because my mom asked me (We all live separated). Things are good with my mom :). My dad and I never talked about what happened and he never apologized or said something about it. Now he wants to see me. I'm 23 and he is 66.
So my question is: Can I morally accept his money and have nothing to do with him and never meet him again? He is legally forced to pay me money here (Switzerland). I have no interest in seeing him, once was enough. He doesn't want to make a therapy with me (You and I just need some time together, it will all work out).
|
My father was violent and a drinker, never apologized to me, never talked about the past with me and now wants to see me again. He is paying me money (not much). Can I morally accept his money and have nothing to do with him? Or is it scumbaggy?
|
t3_23us1s
|
pettyrevenge
|
Keep parking in my spot, and I'll make it difficult for you.
|
So, I live in this shitty apartment building where there's definitely not enough spots for everyone's cars (maybe JUST enough, but that's pushing it.) So there's 6 designated spots for each apartment, and two or three floaters (whoever parks there can park there) in the lot. My shitty drug dealing upstairs neighbors always have friends over who block me in the driveway, park in my spot, or hit my car on the way out (I actually think that one was my actual neighbor though)....
Anyways, earlier yesterday someone's parked in my apartment's designated spot. This happens all the time because there's two spots directly in front of the house, parallel and right on the road, it's hard to know that it's not just off-street parking. (There's a big sign but I give people the benefit of the doubt) I usually write a note saying that it's a reserved spot and they can't park there. I did that yesterday to someone who parked there. They left, and hours and hours go by and I go out to buy a new mattress. I come back, and that jerk is parked in my spot again! So, I pull up so close to the driver's side door that it's impossible to get in from that side. I get out of my car and start cutting the rope off my mattress, and the owner of the car comes down to leave, just standing there watching. I say, "oh, is this your car? I'll move mine in just a few minutes, I gotta move this mattress. Oh, by the way, you're definitely not allowed to park here. Its a reserved spot for my apartment." and his response was "I wasn't staying long". I told him that he seriously can't ever park there again and that again, I'd move my car in just a couple minutes. He realizes I am not moving for him and he finally gets in on the passenger's side and slowly drives away.
I am so sick of these assholes who continue to park in my spot. That felt good.
|
Made some dude who keeps parking in my designated spot climb through the passenger's side of his car to actually enter his car.
|
t3_1g6q3h
|
relationships
|
I am 18M with a 16F. I feel cheated on am I right?
|
I have had a girlfriend, lets call her H. In the beginning of our relationship H was receiving many texts from a boy, J. He was being very flirty and I was not comfortable with it and I told her that I do not like J and I am not okay with how he texts you. She said okay don't worry it will stop.
We have been dating a year and a half now. Two weeks ago on my birthday I found by accident that H and J had been texting again. I did not read the messages but I told her that i didn't like the she was texting him again. She said she was very sorry and that she promised to not text him again. A week later we were hanging out and she received a message from him that I saw. I did my best to be level headed but I told H that I was heart broken she broke her promise to me and hurt my trust. She acted very sorry about it and I forgave her but I told her that my trust was injured.
Lately something has just felt off to me. I do not know why i feel like this but for some reason I feel like they text when Im not around and then she deletes the messages. Tonight I noticed J tweeted something and I clicked to see who favorited because it was just calling to me I guess. Low and behold, H my girlfriend favorited it. Are these real concerns or am I being to jealous and over protective? Should I confront her?
|
I feel like my girlfriend may be cheating. Do I confront her?
|
t3_devkf
|
AskReddit
|
Why the hell do people defile public bathrooms so horribly they are unusable to others?!
|
So I'm in school today and I've got to take a deuce. I go into the bathroom and of course, check to see if the handicap stall is open. It is. I go in, but notice there is no toilet paper. So I go in the small stall settle myself down on the seat, and unleash a couple of steamers. I reach up to grab some toilet paper, and my hand comes back covered in urine and wet mushy paper. Someone peed all over the toilet paper roll. Not accidentally either, this was soaked straight through. This isn't something you just do, you would have to take the rolls out of the dispenser and pee straight onto them. Anyway, i was pissed out, had to wash my hands, run out clenching my buttocks together, and find another bathroom. This isn't the first time I've seen anything like this, people will unroll paper all over the seat and pee on it so noone can sit down on it, and someone even pooped right on the toilet bowl lid once.
Does this SHIT happen in your high school?
|
people do stupid shit to public toilets because many high schoolers are immatures shitfaces who want to ruin everyone elses day.
|
t3_27ph1v
|
Pets
|
Why does my cat keep trying to bite my fucking arm off!?
|
My cat is 18 years old. He has always been extremely sweet and docile. Never a biter or scratcher, just loves to cuddle. Maybe once a month he would go into psycho mode and attack, but it was usually just playfully or when he was really agitated about something else.
Lately he has been obsessed with trying to bite a certain spot on my right arm. It's around the crook of my elbow on the inside, where my forearm and upper arm join.
If I'm lying in bed petting him all will be well, unless I lay in a way that exposes that part of my arm. Then he'll approach it and start sniffing. Next he'll go in for the kill with a HARD bite. He won't try to bite anywhere else or scratch me, at least not initially. But if I catch him during the lead up and move away, he'll approach me head on (trying to attack anywhere). I usually yell at him and pick him up. He ceases the behavior immediately, but I know he'll go for it again if I set him down, so I lock him out of my room for a few hours. When he returns all is normal, at least until the next time.
It's a daily occurrence now and it's making me nervous...I can't relax around the little fucker anymore. Also, I'm worried that it's a sign of senility or a health problem since he's old. He's been to the vet recently and he has been showing signs of kidney disease for years now, but otherwise is in good health and doesn't have any acute issues with it (he can still eat and go to the litter just fine, jump, etc.).
Can anyone give me insight on why the sweet cat I've had for 18 years would suddenly start behaving this way? And what can I do to make it stop?
|
My cat is trying to steal my forearm. Help.
|
t3_2ouzef
|
relationships
|
My (28m) wife (28f) is livid because I want to visit my kindergarten children for an hour on Christmas Day.
|
This upcoming semester, my kindergarten children will be graduating and move onto elementary school. (We live in Taiwan, so naturally they aren't spending their time with family but at school). Since it would be my last Christmas seeing many of them, I thought I'd come to school for an hour and surprise them. When I told her this, she fucking flipped her lid. She told me that Christmas wasn't a part of their culture, although the school is covered in decorations and they're even having a Christmas party/gift exchange around the Christmas tree that day. She said that I'd see the the day before and after, and that they wouldn't even care to see me.
I don't think I've ever seen her this angry. She told me I was a terrible person. I know her favorite holiday is Christmas, but I've just spent a lot of time and money decorating our home despite myself hating the holiday. I understand being apart bothering her because I work until 7:30 every night, but I just gave up seven hours of teaching pay, which is quite a bit, so I could spend even more time at home with her. I just didn't expect this sort of reaction from her.
Am I being a twat? You tell me.
|
My wife is angry because I want to spend an hour on Christmas Day surprising my kindergarten children, who will be at school.
|
t3_yn5b8
|
loseit
|
[Help] I'm a little self-conscious about this, be nice.
|
After lurking for a while I've decided to finally ask. This is really hard for me to post, which is why I've made a new account which I will dedicate to my weight-loss plans. I'm 19, and female.
I've decided to get real and lose weight. Since going to uni I've gone up 2 dress sizes and it kills me looking in the mirror. So I'm starting to get my plan together, meals, exercise, goals etc.
What I'm posting about is my tummy. I've always had a slight 'pot-belly' and it's just got a lot worse over the past two years. I am so embarrassed about it and pretty much 'suck-in' the whole time.
**What advice can you give me on getting rid of it ?**
I know it says in the FAQ that you can't lose weight from a specific part of your body, but I'm *sure* there must be *something* that'll help me work towards getting rid of it.
Any tips/ similar experiences?
|
How can I get rid of my 'potbelly'?
|
t3_1t2scg
|
relationship_advice
|
Stressing about birthday and Christmas gifts! (M20)(f20)
|
Hi all, been with my gf for about 6/7 months now, not too long. Its the time of year when both our birthdays and Christmas is coming about.
We are both at university but her parents earn significantly more than my single mum. Unfortunately I have to borrow money in order to study and work as a cleaner during term time in order to pay rent and eat.
Our birthdays are on the 19th (hers) and 21st (mine) of Dec. I'm stressing myself about what I've got her and whether it'll be enough, whether I've spent enough on her. I bought hehe a necklace I know she liked for her birthday and treated her to a spa day. Then for Christmas I went for small cute things because my budget is low and I don't see Xmas as being quite as special. So I got her a little teddy cushion thing and a gift bag from an independent soap shop with some things in.
I am now into my overdraft because of what I've bought for presents but I'm stressing about if its enough and whether I've spent enough :s I know she'll have spent a lot on me but with my lack of money I can't really do the same.
This stress is making me feel ill please help.
|
stressing over what I've bought my gf for birthday and Christmas is making me ill.
|
t3_24qaph
|
relationships
|
I (18f) need advice on what to do about my boyfriend (24m) from someone who knows what it's like not to want to leave despite everything.
|
So, I finally understand why some people don't leave toxic relationships. Or, I atleast understand that feeling.
I feel unloved, unappreciated, and unimportant in my relationship of about 10 months. I'm tired of contradictory complaints. (I like it when you don't wear makeup, why do you get all dolled up for other people?/ I want you to tell me if I'm not doing something you like in bed, why do you always tell me not to do something you like?/ I understand why you hate my ex, you have no right to hate my ex./ I only want you to be honest with me, lies to me./ you can sleep with homies (I do not abd said I would not), gets jealous if I talk to any male.)
I do everything and anything in my power to make him happy but I never succeed. And he only does the bare minimum, only, to my understanding, what will keep me content and stay.
Several friends want me to end this relationship because they see how unhappy I am, how unhealthy the relationship has become, how he seems to be incapable of being happy with me. But I cannot bring myself to do it.
|
can anyone give me words if wisdom to end this? Please from people who have been in this kinda rut where you know the relationship is toxic but you still stay anyways.
|
t3_fv5x5
|
AskReddit
|
Where are some good places to share music you've created?
|
I'm looking for places outside of reddit too.
As a poster who feels close to the reddit community, I feel let down by the places here I've shared my hard work with. I posted to /r/WeAreTheMusicMakers but the link was downvoted (apparently for sharing), and I posted to /r/ListenToThis but I think it was removed by a spam filter. I wasn't posting around like "BUY MY ALBUM LOLZ!" I just wanted to share my hard work and what I've made with a community I enjoy being a part of. Also if those subreddits were worried about spam, the album can be streamed for free, and is pay-what-you-want for download, so if people want to download it free then that's an option too.
|
Reddit doesn't seem like the easiest or best place to share my work, does anyone know of some good sites? I already have a bandcamp (goombajoe.bandcamp.com)
|
t3_22ffd4
|
relationships
|
GF (20F) and I (22M), together for 3 years, just getting back together after 3 week break up and we seem to have lost "the spark".
|
My gf (20F) and I (22M) recently got back together after being broken up for 3 weeks. Having been together for 3 years we got to a point where we got a bit head over heals and were rushing towards moving in together and an engagement in the near future. When we took a step back we realized that isn't really what we want (at least not so soon). The break up was basically to spend some time apart and to figure all that out. We have been back together for about 3-4 weeks now and neither of us seems very emotionally invested in the relationship. As she put it "It feels like we are just best friends rather than bf/gf."
The thing that I think is making things difficult is how busy we are and how conflicting our schedules are. She just started a new job where she is up at 5am and in bed by 10pm during the work week. I work two jobs (one M-F part time during the day, and the other 2-3 evenings/nights randomly during the week or weekend), assistant coach a HS lacrosse team (M-F consists of practices or games in the evening), and I am just starting to do volunteer firefighting. We really only see each other for a couple hours in the evening once or twice during the week and maybe once on the weekend. When we do see each other briefly during the week we don't do much which doesn't help to bridge that connection.
The spark not being there is really throwing us in a funk, especially since we are coming off such a recent break up. I hope /r/relationships can help shed some light on the problem because I'm not willing to throw in the towel and give up on our relationship without a fight.
|
Relationship of 3 years trying to recover from a recent break up. We love each other but the spark just isn't there and life/scheduling makes it difficult to spend time together.
|
t3_yy19q
|
dating_advice
|
Girl stuck in the [f]riendzone one too many times. Now getting out of it?
|
Well I'm a 18 y/o female and I keep getting stuck in the friendzone. I know I'm above average with my looks but I honestly can't be more than friends with guys. I'm a redditor and a computer nerd. I love classic rock music. I always find myself having so much in common with guys that we end up just being really good friends and it sucks. There's a guy I've liked for about 4 years now and he still sees me as a friend. Last night though we were talking a bit and we started flirting a bit which we do sometimes but this time he asked for pictures randomly so I sent him pictures of myself (only bra and underwear. it was pg-13 :p) but then we started talking about each other and whether or not we'd do anything. He told me he'd do it for reasons of pure lust. What I don't get though is the fact that we're best friends, he finds me attractive, wants to have sex with me, but says it's purely lust? I don't know what to do with this information. I talked to him tonight and he didn't even bring up last night. We just talked about normal stuff. I really want to hook up with him though. What should I do/ what is he trying to tell me?
|
best friend tells me he'd have sex with me only because of lust. want to do it but don't know how to approach the situation because he's rejected me before and suddenly wants my attention.
|
t3_1ya8i5
|
pettyrevenge
|
Take that, rude burrito guy!
|
I work at this Southwestern restaurant, similar to Moe's (if anyone's heard of that), but better. One day this guy comes in, and I could already tell he was going to be a particularly annoying customer as he was almost shouting talking on his cell phone.
There wasn't anyone in line, and he was continuing to talk on his phone as I waited, so I turned around and started cleaning stuff, tidying up, etc. About 10 seconds later, this guys says, "Excuse me" in the most aggressive tone I have ever heard it. Turn around, get thoroughly chewed out for making him wait to order. Whatever. Go down the line, throwing in all the ingredients that he requests for his burrito. He tells me jalapenos, I put jalapenos, and then he gets all up in arms AT ME because "he meant cilantro." Bitch. How do you even mess that up.
I send him down to be rang up the cashier, who he quickly berates for not giving him enough chips. God, this guy. I hadn't finished rolling his burrito yet at this point because the tortilla ripped and I had to get another one.
I decided to be daring.
Enjoy your massive handful of fresh jalapenos, guy.
|
Rude customer in a restaurant, gets a shit ton of jalapenos in his food.
|
t3_14b7tg
|
relationships
|
F(18) likes M(18), but there's the past?
|
I've been getting closer to this guy for 1 and a half months. He actually didn't talk to any girls until this year because of past experiences. After getting to know him a bit more, I actually ended up liking him, yes very typical, everything was fine like we're going to the movies alone and we've been shopping alone three times and all three times he's asking to come along. Well whilst we were discovering more about each other I asked him what a lot of people don't know about him and he replied with why he was so shy and why he suddenly opened up. So I asked him, why were you so shy and he was like he'll tell me at school. Today he walked after me then caught up and he asked me if I wanted to know what I asked before. I was like sure, then he told me, he liked a girl in the year above and she finished primary school and he felt neglected even though she had to and he was afraid of getting rejected again. Then I continued asking why he opened up this year and he was like because I saw her again, now every week but its just talking not like dating. I'm amazed at the impact she has on him but I guess I should be thankful that she was the reason for him opening up, and the reason for me now getting to know such an amazing person! But, I feel jealous and I really can't compete against someone with so much influence, even though she has no interest in him.What should I do?
|
Girl likes guy, but guy is shy and has a history of liking a girl 1 who actually made him scared of rejection. He became less shy this year because he saw the girl 1 again, and now sees her once a week. Not see, as in going out, just talking a bit. Girl and guy are going to the movies together and have been out 3 times alone. What to do?
|
t3_16xp4j
|
relationships
|
F(19) feels lonely in college, how can I M(19) help her cope?
|
Sensitive girlfriend of 3 years finds it hard to find like minded people she can relate to in the college she's in. She has told me that it is troubling and that some days she cries herself to sleep.
Of course she's tried to make friends, but people around her aren't exactly receptive to her personality (it's a pretty conservative college). Also, she suffers from anxiety disorders, so it makes the situation more complex.
We don't live in the same area, but we are relatively close. I get to see her once or twice a week, so the time we spend together is "our" time. We have hung out with my friends together no problem, but she wants (and probably needs) friends in her area.
Now, I know we are young/she's bound to make a friend eventually/roll with the punches/etc. I understand, time tends to fix these sort of problems. My main concern is dealing with the problem and helping her with the feelings she is feeling now. I feel like I fall short when I attempt to console her in any way, and it kills me hearing her say that she's hurting.
|
girlfriend is having trouble making friends, it's beating her up inside and she's taking it to heart. I want to help her.
|
t3_3bd423
|
tifu
|
TIFU by putting a knife through my hand.
|
So I should preface this by saying this happened a week ago.
I had chinese food for dinner the previous night, and I figured I could eat it for breakfast when I woke up the next morning. Instead of just popping the corner of [the container] or pouring it into a bowl, or any other number of ways to reheat chinese food, I thought I'd poke a hole in the top to vent the steam. Step one of my fuck-up is complete.
Begin phase two of my complete fuck-up. I pull one of the sharpest knives we have out of the drawer. I pick up the container. Can you see where this is going? If you have ever tried to do this before, you'd know how rigid the plastic on those containers is. I take the knife, and press it into the plastic while it's in my hand. I keep going, thinking I'd be able to stop the knife from going through the second half of the plastic. Proceed to stage three of my monumental fuckup. The knife rams through the plastic, and through the nice soft fleshy part of my palm.
Long story short, got to the hospital, didn't hit my bones, missed my nerves as well. Went to the orthopedic center, and I cut my tendon 2/3rds. I'm now enjoying the wonderful world of hurt my own body can put on me for being such a dumbass.
|
Stuck a knife through my hand trying to do some dumb shit instead of being a logical person.
|
t3_2y2b74
|
relationships
|
I just found out that my (22M) SO (19F) of 3 years was drugged and assaulted last night.
|
My SO lives in London for university and I am in Devon. She went to a party last night and woke up around 2am in a strangers house. She ran away and go her friends to come and find her. I know the police have taken statements and that she has a black eye, and that's the extent of what I know. I will know more when I see her tomorrow.
I need help Reddit, I've lurked and seen the support you guys are capable of. How can I best support her? What should my role be in this? I have never been in this position before.
|
My SO was drugged and woke up in a strangers house. I don't know what to do with myself. How can I best support her?
|
t3_2h2j1j
|
relationships
|
I [21/M] went on a date with this girl [20/F], but I can't tell 100% if she's interested.
|
Saw this cute girl on campus, asked her out. She said yes and we exchanged numbers
Went out for coffee two days after that, and had a lot of fun. I took her to a cafe and we sat and talked for around two hours, told her a couple of times I thought she was cute.
She's really nice and shares a good deal of my interests, and when leaving she gave me a hug and asked if we'd be hanging out again.
I texted her a couple of times since then but she either takes forever to respond and then only gives me short answers, or doesn't respond at all.
My roommate tells me to just not text her at all today or tomorrow and wait to see if she texts me at all.
I'm convinced that she won't text me. If I'm interested in someone, I'll contact them, I'll show my interest. Is it possible that she just doesn't really text much?
I'm trying really hard not to just give up and move on.
|
met a cute girl, went out once, thought it went well, but she takes forever to text back and gives me short answers. I'm waiting to see if she'll text me first today and tomorrow but I'm convinced she won't, and I'm trying hard not to just give up on it
|
t3_p3myx
|
AskReddit
|
She explains why she is staying with him... What are some reasons a girl/guy wouldn't date you?
|
Her: Good morninggg! I'm still in bed right now and am opening one eye and closing the other and then alternation because my eyes are too tired to both stay open haha. And, no he and I don't get compliments like you and I did... He doesnt even compliment me like you did. I don't know I think I'm just scared to break up with him afer investing sooooo much time into it and I'd have to explain it to my family and ugh. He's not lovey and dovey but I think that's just from being together for so long, and the fact that I recently hurt him like hell definitely changes his attitude towards me. But I do enjoy my time with him and I know he's crazy about me. He and I have only had sex once since I've been back, but you know my sex drive has completely disappeared since I told him about us. ***If I were making a decision on sex it would be you hands down haha.*** I dont know if this is the right decision but its the one I'm making. And yeah you're always on my mind, but then again so is he. Really I'm torn. I want you to look for someone else available though. I'm not going to just keep you around as a backup, like you say. That's why I always tol dyou to look around. Of course, I'm going to die a little when you find her though...
|
We are better together (its been a year and a half), I am better in bed, she is still doubting herself but is staying with him
|
t3_iy0od
|
AskReddit
|
A driver who was likely under the influence of some substance or other was swerving all over the place in front of me. They were driving a car with a business advert on it. What should I do?
|
So, I was driving down the road this morning, and the car in front of me was swerving all over the place. At times, they were actually driving straight down the line between two lanes, and twice they nearly drove right up onto the centre embankment. I rang the police, explained where I was and gave them the license plate number. That was the easy part.
Now here's the part I'm unsure about. The car had an advertisement on it for a business. Do I contact the business (anonymously) and let them know that someone driving one of their cars was possibly under the influence? Or do I just let the police deal with it? Will they even do anything? By the way, I'm in Australia, so what the police would do in other countries might not necessarily apply here. On one hand, I don't want to get someone fired from their job, but on the other hand I'd rather have them fired then have them kill someone in an accident. What would you do?
|
Erratic driver likely under the influence was in a company car. Do I contact the business or let the police deal with it?
|
t3_26xgyj
|
relationships
|
(22/f) Living with my boyfriend (23) but he doesn't want to go "Facebook official"...
|
Some back story - My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 months now, have been living together for the past 3. Yes, I know this seems a little fast to move in with someone, and it probably is. We had dated 3 years ago for 6 months, before I had to go away to school. The distance wasn't working, so we broke up. Anyway, I moved back to his town 5 months ago and we ended up getting back together.
My problem is, when we dated the first time, he made us "Facebook official" after about a month. His Facebook was deactivated when we started dating this time, so it was never an issue.
However, he reopened his Facebook account a week ago, and I asked him about changing his relationship status now. He said he didn't think it was necessary, anyone that we know already knows we're together, and living together. He has like 900 people on his account though, and I'm worried that other girls that don't know we're together are going to start flirting with him. He says he won't flirt back. He's always been honest with me, but this kind of bothers me.
I asked why he would make it official last time, but not this time, since it's an even more serious of a relationship now. He told me it was because he'd grown up and didn't find it that important.
He's had 2 girlfriends since me and him dated the first time. One was for 2 months and the other for 1 year. Neither of them were "Facebook official" either. But he also said he never felt that he loved them, and never even told them that.
What does everyone else think about this?
|
Is it appropriate to be "Facebook official" if you're living together?
|
t3_2ccfq8
|
relationship_advice
|
I [20/m] want to get her [21/f] to talk to me alone so I could confess my feelings and intentions, is it a good idea?
|
Hi, I've been working in a restaurant for 7 months as a part time employee. I started liking this girl (let's call her X) for about 2-3 months. I am sure that X likes me since she had shown signs of interests these past few months and she also found out that I like her through other coworkers. I know some people would say "don't shit where you eat" but it's not like I'm going to work there forever, right?
Ever since I started to develop stronger feelings for X I became even more shy and quiet towards her (X even noticed this behavior and called me out on it through text saying that I've been ignoring her). So far I haven't spoken to X for about 2 weeks now and all this time I've been trying to gather my energy to tell her that I really like her and would like to know her more and ask her out from there.
|
Coworker knows that I like her, I am positive that she likes me too but am shy to talk to her, is it a good idea to ask her if we could talk alone so that I could confess?
|
t3_2pi3x4
|
relationships
|
Exgirlfriend[22f] cheated on me[23f] with a girl[23f] and they dated for a year and a half. We are all good friends despite and they broke up and I slept with my exes ex.
|
Me and my ex are best friends. We dated for a long time (5 years) and when she cheated I was upset but only because she was my friend also and I didn't expect her to do something like that to me. We broke up mutually and have been close since. Well, she started dating the girl she cheated on me with and we all spent a lot of time together and me and the girl got really really close. My ex broke up with her for another girl 6 months ago. Last night I slept with the girl and I told my ex and she is upset with us both because her best friend slept with her ex. The thing is, I really like the girl and we were drunk and so it just happened. I guess we thought it wasn't so bad because she technically ended both relationships she had with us hahaha. So we figured we could do what we want.
Now my ex is saying what if she slept with my ex who I just broke up with a month ago in an attenpt to show me that I fucked up. I would be devestated but I feel like it is totally different given the entirely different circumstances. I feel guilty about sleeping with her but also feel like we should be allowed to do what we want considering we werent the ones who ended things and because we are both single. Am I wrong? I was straight forward and apologized a lot. I can't tell if I should feel as guilty as I do.
|
I slept with my exgirlfriend's and best friend's exgirlfriend that she cheated on me with and now she is mad and I can't tell if I should feel the way I do
|
t3_2rd6vq
|
loseit
|
New to r/loseit, not new to the struggle.
|
I stepped on my scale for the first time in September 2013 and I've been struggling ever since.
I was an overweight little girl, then joined my high school swim team my freshman year and shed a few pounds, gained a lot of muscle.
I managed to waste all the cartilage in my shoulder and develop scoliosis because of the intensity I used to swim, so I took a long break, from every form of athletics. Until September 2013.
In this roughly year and a half I've lost 20 pounds. That's it. I talked to my doctor, who said I have an unusually low metabolism, so my body just holds weight.
Over this past holidays I managed to gain 10 pounds in 25 days. I'm so discouraged, but at the same time, I relit my fire. I quit drinking coffee with creamer, and instead switched to green tea. Im only eating bread once a day with one meal, and I'm trying to snack on low calorie foods. I regularly log my food on the Lose It! App on my phone in addition to running at my local track and I have access to a Total Gym home gym that I use for legs and arms.
Just wanted to let you know I'm here and I look forward to the help and motivation from you guys!
|
I have been struggling to lose weight, joined r/loseit, look forward to your help and motivation!
|
t3_4d0ekd
|
relationships
|
I [22 M] am falling for my friend [22 F] but it's...complicated
|
I'll try to keep this short and sweet. This, is about a girl. One whom I've known for almost half of my life. When I first payed eyes on her, I was smitten. Frankly, no one could blame me. Think the movie "Something About Mary" and that's how I saw this girl. I however put aside my romantic inclinations, although my opinions on her never changed, nor did they ever remain clandestine.
Either way, flash forward and she's now one of my oldest and best friends. I eventually told her about the crush I used to have, abd we both had a good laugh. Unfortunately things got derailed a few months ago, as she was best friends with what had become my ex. We lost contact for a few months. Though...lately we've been talking again. She got really sick not too long ago, and it was my privilege to chat with her more and hopefully I helped a little. This made me realize though, and I've always felt this way, I really care about this girl. It sounds insane, but she means the world to me. Thinking back on things, there always was this strange dramatic tension between us. I might even go so far as to say, just a little chemistry.
We are going to the movies together soon, just the two of us, though not necessarily as a date. I do however think that, seeing how things go, and of course a few more get togethers, I might seriously consider persuing this fantasy. I fear however that our past, or more specifically my past, might make this extremely difficult ...Any advice on how to proceed would be excellent.
|
I really like this girl, we're good friends, but I used to date one of her friends and I'm not sure what to do.
|
t3_fmm1a
|
AskReddit
|
Can someone make me an Infographic??
|
Recently after having a conversation with some friends about how often we skip songs on out ipods i decided to write out a guide/article called "Unskippable: A Guide To The Perfect iPod v1.0"
the guide/system is very helpful and i've been testing it with my friends and they all have loved it, so now i love to share it with the internets but i thought it'd be cooler/better received if it were presented in an Infographic...
unfortunately i only have a netbook, and my artist/graphic design abilities are very limited.
so now i'm come to YOU! my Reddit family to try and find someone with spare time who would be willing to turn my article into an Inforgraphic.
|
i wrote a guide to make an unskippable ipod, asking someone to turn it into an infographic because me no smart
|
t3_xka3l
|
relationships
|
SO of 2.5 years lost interest in a physical relationship
|
Background:
I have been with my GF for over 2 years and we have lived together for 2 years (I moved in after 4 months of dating and seeing each other every day). I love her but for the past 1.5 years she has only been intimate 5 times and she gets annoyed very quickly at any of my advances. I am 28 and she is 25, and we are both mostly independent and have full time jobs. We used to have an amazing intimate relationship but after one time that I didn't "pull out" quickly enough and she took plan B the spark is gone. She joked about it being short term but it has been a very long time now. We are intimate maybe once every 3 or 4 months. She also recently made a comment about how "hot" The it would be if I was still "cut" (she never knew me when I was a gym rat, I am fit but not "cut"). Early on in our relationship we were intimate 1 or 2 times a week (although when we first started dating it was every night).
Is something wrong with the way I am treating her or did the plan B just ruin it for ua?
Side note: I still come home and cook, clean, walk the dogs, do laundry, and try to keep her happy because she works in the sun (teaching horseback riding) and, I have a desk job.
|
GF lost all interest after taking plan B 1.5 years ago and I am lost at what to do.
|
t3_120kfw
|
relationship_advice
|
I'm [20/m] and need some advice dealing with my girlfriend. [19/f]
|
We've been dating for about a year and a half (with two "breaks" somewhere in the middle). The breaks were cause by me and my fear of commitment, or that i just needed to breathe or whatever. Anyway, during those breaks I later found out that she had been sleeping with 2 of my closest friends. we've had countless upon countless heated conversations about the subject and she insists that it wasn't an intentional attack to hurt me be she completely understands how much it did hurt me and regrets it all the time. My issue and request for advice comes from the nightmares and plaguing thoughts i have constantly picturing her with one of my best friends and every time (no matter what it is that reminds me) my heart sinks just like when i first found out. What do I do reddit? I love her and want to stay with her but am not sure of how much longer this nagging in my head is going to stay... I'm at a loss.
|
Inbetween us dating she hooked up with my best friends, can't get the pictures out of my head. HELP
|
t3_1zewnz
|
relationships
|
Is my [21 M] relationship with my girlfriend [21] coming to a close? How do I know?
|
We've been dating for about a year and a quarter or so and I'm under a stress and fear that I'm unfairly becoming more critical of our relationship or if I'm just growing away from her.
To start of my girlfriend is asexual and she let me know before we started dating and how she was really uncomfortable with the idea of sex. At the time, I didn't care because I really loved her and it didn't bother me too much. Eventually, we decided shift to an open relationship for my sake, which was good for a time. However, as time has passed I've grown to hate it.
Theres some part of me that lashes out and compares our relationship to everyone else around us, which I feel like I shouldn't do, but it happens. I haven't really pursued outside hookups for a few months and I haven't brought the issue to her attention, because I wanted to deal with it on my own.
Outside of this, I *really* hate my job and it often leaves me extremely stressed out or depressed by the end of the day. I feel like this has played a large role in exacerbating the stress of our relationship.
I still love my girlfriend. I love being around her, talking to her, spending time together. But, I feel like constantly being burned out by my job and by the lack of a respectable physical relationship is really destroying me in ways that I can no longer ignore.
|
I hate my job and I hate my open relationship, am I being unfairly critical of my relationship?
|
t3_3b0n9h
|
legaladvice
|
I fucked up. DUI Canada/QC - Which path to go?
|
Hi,
23 y/o student who earns 35k a year before taxes. First offense. Yesterday, I got busted for DUI, in Canada, Quebec province. I can't drive for 90 days and my court date is in 90 days.Our legal system is fucked here ( too many sentences, not enough judges). I am seeking advices and tips. My questions are: Should I plead guilty and get a criminal record? (it adds up to about 3000$)
- Should I get a lawyer and hope that he get my case delayed to a point where it is not reasonable for them to charge me.
- I'm an accounting student AND I think that a criminal record for DUI would fuck me up for job opportunities? Am I being paranoid? or should I simply plead guilty and get over it.
**the only thing that I can think of is that i didn't do a field sobriety test, but i'm not sure if it is mandatory here.
|
DUI - CANADA/QUEBEC - 1st offense - 33k a year before taxes - Guilty or no? (our system is fucked(very very slow)) - Cops didn't make any major mistakes ( they didn't rough me/they read my rights...bla bla) - How much would I be looking at if I contest it? (lawyer fees)
|
t3_217zto
|
running
|
Yet another "should I run this upcoming event I haven't prepared for?" question
|
I never thought I would be one of these posters - I usually plan things out pretty far in advance and train - but here I am, contemplating signing up for a half marathon that occurs 10 days from now.
The background is this: I ran a half in fall 2012 and it was pretty disastrous - over 2.5 hours. A few months later, I was diagnosed with severe anemia, which explained why throughout my training I was getting slower (my husband just thought I was being lazy, but it turned out I had no iron!).
Fast-forward to now. I've been taking my iron pills and eating lots of oysters like a good girl, and my energy level is back up. I hadn't been running much this year because I moved to a not-very-running-friendly country last summer, but for the past two months I've just said fuck it and started running anyways. Since I'm not really training for anything the longest I've run this time is 10K, but I'm running almost every day and feeling good.
Rationally speaking, I should just do the 10K event on the same day, but races are so few and far between in my country and I feel like I could probably beat my previous half even without the training... but am I being crazy? If I do decide to do it, how do I approach the next 10 days - should I try and do another long run between now and then, or just stick to short ones to keep my legs loose?
|
Contemplating a half marathon 10 days from now. Ran one a year ago but since then my longest distance has been 10K.
|
t3_ic004
|
relationship_advice
|
What to do after an *ok* first date with someone I met online
|
About 2 weeks ago I (18 M) started talking to someone (20 F) on OkCupid (dating site). We have a lot in common. We are both 'damaged goods' and understand each other well because of it. She likes my mannerisms/quirks/etc and I like her. Had first date with her today. she was very different in person. Was kind of pushy in conversation (her talking was more important than mine) talked a lot about her friends, which was kinda awkward for me. She started to open up later on, but no were near like she is online. Her hugs are *ok* her kissing is *ok* (hugs are important to me). When she got home she sent a mean-ish text "thanks for checking to see if I got home safely" (I hadn't so i assume it was sarcastic) or something to that effect. We are talking online again, and she is back to being amazing.
Do I bring this stuff up to her? Do I break it off (she made it very clear she really likes me)? Do I ignore it and hope it gets better? Help!
|
Girl is amazing online, but the first date was pretty bad. what do I do?
|
t3_zfn9n
|
AskReddit
|
I had a lady cut up her membership card and throw it in my face. What is the rudest thing someone has done to you and how did you respond?
|
Ten years ago, during my brief tenure as a Blockbuster employee, I was left alone to run a store on a Friday, one week before Christmas. It was snowing and our credit card machine was down. It was extremely busy (yes, there was a time that people went to Blockbuster) and I had a line reaching halfway through the store. A lady comes to my counter wanting to buy used VHS tapes as gifts for her daughter. (On a side note, she asked me if I thought Skulls 2 on VHS was a good movie to buy for her 16 year old daughter, and wasn't sure if she had seen the first one. WTF?!?!)
Anyways, she wanted to use a credit card and I told her the machine just went down and we'd have to use cash or she would need to wait a minute until it came back up. She went crazy and grabbed the scissors in my work area and cut her membership card into pieces to promptly throw in my face. With bits of paper trickling down my face and chest, I calmly apologized, trying to calm the situation down and she starts storming out. The people in line were horrified at her response. Just as the exit door closed, I called her back in and she turned around almost optimistic that the credit card machine had come back around. I prompted her to walk around the counter and said to her, "You forgot your card." She was livid and stormed out cursing. The people in line were cracking up. I felt pretty good about that one.
I'd like to hear some other stories.
|
Some lady got pissed about not being able to pay with credit, cut up card and threw it at me. I had a moderately funny response.
|
t3_n96ae
|
AskReddit
|
What is the most embarrassing thing you've seen someone go through that they probably deserved?
|
I will start.
I was at Taco Time getting my mom some food and while I waited in the drive thru line I noticed off in the corner of the parking lot, in a some what dark location two people having sex. It was about 35-40 feet away from me. No big deal, whatever. I just avoided looking. I pull up a few more spots and I am one car away from the window. I decide to take another glance back at the car, for the hell of it. Right as I do the young man involved (honestly never saw the girl, just saw two bodies), falls completely out of the vehicle onto his back. A car a few cars behind me honks multiple times and flashes their lights. The complete and utter horror and that teenager's face was priceless. He slams the open back door, jumps in the drivers seat and escapes with no pants.
|
Boy falls out of car in public while having sex.
|
t3_54gu11
|
relationships
|
Moved to new city. Wife is also pregnant, lonely, and feeling down - how can I help?
|
Long story short, my wife ( both 30 years old and been married 3 years) and myself moved to a new city but our experiences aren't lining up the way I had hoped. I'm having a blast and enjoying my new job working downtown while wife is a teacher working at a rural school just outside the city. I know a few people in the city and have reached to them and been able to connect. I've also been able to get involved in things happening related to my profession (i'm a designer / landscape architect). We also found out we are expecting a baby just before we moved.
Unfortunately, for my wife it's been somewhat challenging. She doesn't know anyone and the people at her new job aren't very friendly or supportive (for example she's recreating a lot of the curriculum because what the school uses is outdated or incomplete). I'm trying to set up meetings and events to take her to, but not sure what is best considering her condition? We go to some salsa dancing now and then as well as some meetups but it's been challenging making contacts in a new city. We are thinking of taking some cooking classes or art classes together as well....something fun and relaxing that she could keep doing as the baby grows.
|
Pregnant wife lonely in new city - I wan to help her.
|
t3_2ab8fo
|
relationships
|
Bf (20) makes a big deal out of paying for me (20)
|
My boyfriend and I have dated a little bit over a year. We usually pay for our own portion of our own expenses whenever we go out. Sometimes he would buy me small snacks costing under $3 and I'd make it up to him by purchasing him food back or paying a bit more for our split meals.
The problem is, he makes SUCH a BIG deal out of it every time he uses money on me and insists he always pays for my stuff (which he doesnt'). He sometimes-passively aggressively forces me to pay for his food because "remember that time I bought you ______?" It's like he forgets I have bought him stuff before as well.
I used to be very lenient on how much he owes me because he could just feed me some snacks. But now I'm considering calculating everything to the nickel (no more pennies!) and just evenly splitting EVERYTHING.
My family doesn't give me money, I'm living off loans and my part time job. Basically I'm fucking broke. He gets money whenever he asks for it.
|
boyfriend is super uptight every time a penny is spent on me and tries to get "even" with me even though it is already even lol and it's really annoying.
|
t3_eadjn
|
relationships
|
Overheard sposal abuse at a friends. Not sure what to do.
|
*Sorry if this is the wrong reddit I couldn't figure out the best place*
I was staying over their house the other day and was having trouble sleeping. Probably around 4am, when I heard my female friend complaining about my male friend hogging the covers. She asked why he didn't just use the blanket next to him but he just yelled a couple times. About the third time all I heard was him hurting her, perhaps on the back, by the way it sounds. It was loud, not just a little tap, you could tell it hurt and that he used a lot of force.
Then she cried. One of the worst things you can ever hear. My mother was abused when I was younger and it was a very bad case of deja vu. She went downstairs, I waited a couple minutes and followed her down. I just say beside her and hugged her. I didn't know what to say, so I just sat there. After awhile she talked, about something random, like nothing happened.
Now I don't know what to do. I can't assume this happens all the time BUT at the same time I could NEVER hit my wife, make her cry, and then just go to sleep and act like nothing happened. It would make me want to kill myself. So it draws me to conclude it's at least semi recurrent.
Do I bring it up to him? Do I just support her? What do you think I should do?
|
Over heard abuse between a male friend and a female friend. Not sure what to do.
|
t3_3q878s
|
relationships
|
My [25 M] Parents [60s] talk about how I'm their favorite in front of my other siblings
|
I'm the second youngest out of five kids. A family joke started probably around the time I was 18 with my brothers and sisters about how I'm our parents favorite child. But after years of joking about it one of my sisters told me that it's not a joke anymore and that, according to her, all my siblings believe it to be true.
This all came to the surface last month when I came home to visit. I am currently volunteering in a third world country and my parents flew me home to visit my family. We were all sitting around catching up when one of my brothers mentioned that it was nice that I was home and said that anytime he calls our parents they end up just talking about me the whole time. Him saying this caused all my other siblings to jump on and reiterate the same thing. Now this wasn't hostile at all, all my siblings were laughing and joking about how I've always been the golden boy and how I'm not only my parents favorite but all my siblings favorite sibling too. Then my mom making a poor attempt at humor said "Well maybe if you all behaved like he did you could be my favorite too" I could tell that this made my sister really uncomfortable because she was acting uncharastically cold the rest of the evening. When I asked her if everything was alright she claimed that she was just sad because I was going to be leaving the country again in a few days, however later in the evening I got out of her that what our mom said had really hurt her feelings because she always feels like she's living in my shadow.
I tried to talk to my mom about this the next day to which she responded how sweet I was for being so concerned about my siblings feeling and how proud she was of me and that my siblings need to grow up if what she said really bothered them.
|
Parents constantly talk about me to my other siblings because I'm working in third world country. All my siblings talk about how I'm the favorite child and my sister gets upset. I confront my mom and she just raves about how sweet I'm being because I'm worried about my siblings feelings. How can I make my parents stop without damaging our relationship?
|
t3_2j2rb5
|
relationships
|
[Update] Me [26 M] in a long distance grey area friendship with [22F] for a few months and unsure where I stand.
|
Original Post:
So I've been stewing over this for about a week, but I ended up finding out from her that she's dating someone. The way she expressed it in the past is that dating maybe leads to a relationship. When she told me that she was dating someone, she made it clear that they aren't together and that they're just going on dates. She also avoided it at first because she didn't want me to hate her.
Not that I'm saying that I should be waiting, but I generally don't do the dating thing myself. It sounds like she's potentially doing this casually to get back into the swing of things? Then again, she said they maybe lead to relationships. Either way, I ended up floating the idea of non-exclusive dating to see if she was okay with that between us, but she got really upset. I ended up talking to her a few days after that (she let me know she was upset then) so I ended up dropping the conversation. I talked to her once more, she dropped that conversation and I've not talked to her since.
So, yeah, that's more or less it. I'm somewhat frustrated that she's being inconsistent and that she's now decided on dating despite telling me otherwise that she wanted to do whatever. I'm also somewhat upset because I feel a bit led on, but otherwise I don't know how viable this is in the future (even though she has admitted to liking me). Not sure what advice to ask for, but if you have any thoughts I definitely will read them.
|
Found out that the girl who I'm interested in is dating someone else, even though she said she didn't want another relationship out of the next one. Frustrated because she's being terribly inconsistent.
|
t3_3w173s
|
relationships
|
I [18/M] dont trust my girlfriend [19/F] at all and I dont know why
|
We both go to the same college. She lives in my dorm just 2 floors above me. We met here, this is both of our first semesters here, and we have been together since August. We clicked really quickly and began casually dating. Things got serious though and now we are spending most (not all) of our free time together. She likes to drink in moderation to relax and for fun, shes an extrovert, and shes bad at saying no. Im an introvert, I dont drink at all, and Im bad at saying yes.
Enough intro, I dont trust her. She hasnt done anything to violate my trust, but I get stressed out when she is off with her friends because they are a bad influence and she is so bad at saying no. Also, she is flirty as fuck. She was like that when we met and she is like that now. I personally can't stand it, but that's not what I'm here for. I've told her I don't trust her and not only does it not phase her, but she doesn't seem to want to do anything to cultivate further trust. Am I being overly anxious or is there something here that my instincts are picking up that I'm not?
|
I dont trust her even though she hasnt done anything to violate my trust.
|
t3_1d363f
|
loseit
|
Progress and Questions
|
Hello Loseit, I pretty much did my journey without looking into all the wonderful options from the reddit community (wish I had!), but I still have plenty to go.
Currently from 290 (or North... wasn't really weighing myself for awhile for reasons I'm sure most here understand) to 200.2-205, depending on the day (199.9 hasn't happened for me yet :().
[Progress pics] I didn't take proper before and afters, but these are pretty indicative.
Anyway, the reasoning for my post is wondering for those that have gone from big to little... when do you stop feeling fat or associating yourself with "fat jokes?" I look at pictures and I seem to look like a normal guy, but the brain hasn't changed. Freshman-sophomore years of college, I was near 300 lbs, and I lost all the way down to 185 only to slowly climb back up during marriage, kid #1, stress, etc. That entire time though, my mentality never changed. Does anyone else feel this way? Was there ever a "switch?"
|
When/how do you start viewing yourself as normal versus fat?
|
t3_4sfy32
|
relationship_advice
|
I'm [23/f] having trouble feeling trust in my relationship with my boyfriend [23/f] [3 years together]
|
A few months ago my boyfriend moved overseas for an indeterminate amount of time [we were thinking at least a year or two or more] to figure out where he was in life and what he wanted. We broke up the day he left, but a week later decided on a long distance, open relationship instead. He ended up coming back after a few months quite suddenly, having decided he wants to be here and be with me.
The problem is that I've always had a huge fear of abandonment. And he left. And I'm having a lot of trouble getting over it. I want to work things out but I'm having trouble figuring out how to do that. he is trying really hard to make things right but there's something within me that isn't being receptive.
The other problem is that I had started seeing another guy while he was away, and it was always only ever friends with benefits as per the rules of the open relationship, but now I can't stop thinking about him. I guess I can't stop comparing how easy it was being with someone that hadn't hurt you.
I also feel resentful. He left, and I was left to figure out how to not fall apart. Once I'd worked it out and accepted he was gone for a while and had a way of coping in place, he all of a sudden came back and disrupted that. It feels like he's always deciding what's best for him and I'm left adjusting and trying to make things work around that.
I want to be with my boyfriend. I want the future I've been imagining for us for years. I just need help figuring out how to make it work.
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Boyfriend went overseas indefinitely and came back suddenly. I'm having trouble trusting that he won't leave me again, and feeling resentful for always having to adjust my life around him. It's not made easier by thoughts of an ex-FWB
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t3_2yvdl2
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relationships
|
Is my [29M] GF [28F] hung up on her ex-BF, or the woman who stole him?
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I've been dating a woman for a few months now. Before she dated me she was in a toxic relationship with an alcoholic and abusive man who also cheated on her. She tried to work through all of it, but ultimately he left her for the other woman. The other woman was mean and vicious about it.
Now, my GF claims to be over her ex, but she gets furious at the sight of the other woman, and she compares herself to this other woman all the time in a very detrimental way. In her own words, she thinks this other woman "won".
I could use some insight into the way she might be thinking. Is she really hung up on this other woman for being a terrible person? Or is it really that she is not truly over her ex?
Please help me understand this so I can know how to be supportive...or perhaps protect myself from getting hurt.
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Current GF claims to be over her ex, but gets furious with his new girlfriend. Is it true that she's over him, or is that really still the core issue?
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t3_3bs5w5
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relationship_advice
|
Am I(27/f) bored with my boyfriend(35/m) or myself?
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So I'm just looking to see what people's thoughts are on my current situation. I'm in a relationship that would be that typical "opposites attract" situation. 10 years apart, different races, different hobbies, different temperaments, etc. But we love each other. We both recognize the positive and negative qualities in each other, but he's more unlikely to admit to anything negative. We're both on the couch potato side of life, but not the same couch. We don't watch any of the same stuff. Day in Day out it's the same routine. He's the first guy I've been with. We've been together 3 years, living together for 2. I'm trying to figure out if I'm bored with our relationship and want to move on, or if I just need to find someone else to hangout with (my 1 friend remaining in driving distance is 40 minutes away). But I also am scared to socialize to meet people. I tell myself I'm content with being by myself most of the time, but I long for someone to hangout with that has similar interests. Do I find a friend or a new boyfriend. Any advice?
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Opposites attract but is it our relationship I'm bored with or do I just need friends?
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t3_53wtm0
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legaladvice
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[USA-CT]Lease Addendums After Move-In
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Hi all,
My wife and I recently moved into a unit in an apartment complex. Now, a little under two months after signing the lease and moving in, we've been contacted by the leasing office, who spoke of an audit of their records and some missing signatures. This is not entirely unexpected: I declined to sign that I had received documentation of any lead-based paint when we signed the lease, as that information was not made available to me yet. At the time, I verbally confirmed that I would be happy to sign later, once the necessary documentation was provided. It has since been provided and reviewed to my satisfaction.
They delivered a packet of forms. The first form was the expected lead release, but they also attached a half-dozen lease addendums, all of which limit our rights to use the property in some way. Many cover topics never discussed prior to signing the lease, and others directly contradict the lease (with explicit language stating that they supercede the lease).
What are our obligations in this situation? Is there any reason we would have to modify our contract this far into our tenancy? Can I just sign and return the lead form, as promised, and leave out the addendums, or could this jeopardize our tenancy?
Thank you for your attention, and any advice you can give.
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Moved into apartment <2 months ago. Suddenly being asked to sign lease addendums never seen/discussed prior due to "missing signatures". What do I do?
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t3_32lqpv
|
tifu
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TIFU by putting my dad's number on the internet
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This literally JUST happened 5 minuites ago.
So I have been planning to buy some more RAM for my computer for the last week, and today I decided I was finally going to order it from amazon. I texted my dad saying "I'm going to order my ram today", to which he replied with a *terrible* dad joke: "Didn't know you had a ram, what will you order it to do?". *goran*. So I deided to screenshot it and post it on /r/dadjokes. I uploaded the screenshot to imgur and posted it to reddit.
Then later, I opened imgur to post an image in another reddit comment and noticed I had a message: a comment on my image "way to go putting your dad's number on the internet. I suggest you delete it and repost it with the number blurred out". I looked up at the image. SHIT. His number was there. Forgot the messaging app shows numbers because I barely pay attention to them. I deleted it and the reddit post as quickly as I could, but I don't know if anyone else saw it; if someone did and used it then my dad would be angry and might have to get a new SIM.
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Put my dad's number on imgur and reddit, don't know if someone will abuse it.
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t3_13bbcj
|
AskReddit
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I'm sick of alcohol and I'm sick of weed - what can I do on a Friday night, Reddit?
|
I recently (three weeks ago) had a mental breakdown and subsequent anxiety attack triggered by a surprisingly low amount of alcohol, after **not** having been drunk for at least three months. After the anxiety attack I decided I'd stay away from all kinds of drugs for as long as it'd take for me to feel good again - and I still don't. Unfortunately, it seems all my friends are drinking or getting high all the time... And I find myself not wanting to be with them when they are in that state. Now I sit here wondering what to do. I feel like the loneliest person in the world, all of a sudden, and I think it's really sad how drugs have come to shape our social behavior.
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Can't drink due to anxiety, what (wholesome, healthy) activities can I do instead?
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t3_1bx1qk
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relationships
|
Does maybe really mean maybe or am I [18M] overthinking this?
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A female friend [19] and I [18] are both in college, and over winter break we developed crushes for one another. By the end of break we hooked up. We made out a lot and I performed oral on her. We would have gone further but my parents almost caught us and she got scared, so we stopped. After break ended we went back to our respective universities, occasionally texting one another (about every 2 weeks on average).
Before spring break we had not talked to each other for a little over a month so I thought she lost interest in me. Unfortunately, we had different spring breaks so I never got to see her. I texted her to see how she was doing even though I was super worried she wouldn't respond back (I still have a crush on her and wasn't sure if she still felt the same way). She seemed really happy to talk to me, so I feel like she had the same feelings as I did.
A little over a week after my spring break I texted her (last night). I wanted to know if she had any other guys in her life. She told me she didn't, so I asked her if she wanted to grab dinner with me when we go back home for summer break. I told her something casual like Noodles and Company. She responded by saying "maybe, I can't make any promises. It depends how things go once we get home. So do you have a girl?" I told her I was still single and the conversation ended shortly after that.
I would also like to point out that since we were both in long distance relationships that ended badly I would not consider dating her longer than summer break. I wouldn't even call it dating, more of a friends with benefits relationship (although we never used the words "friends with benefits"). Since I discussed this with over winter break her I know she feels the same way.
Do you think she's still interested in me? **Does "maybe" really mean maybe**, or was her way of telling me no? I will eventually ask her, but I want to get some advice and other opinions on this first. **Do you have any tips on how I should go about asking her?**
I'm overthinking this aren't I?
|
A girl I like and hooked up with said she might be interested in going to dinner with me, but since she said "maybe" I'm not sure if she's still interested in me.
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t3_1w4xik
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offmychest
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I'm really sorry about the door...
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...at b&n in Sioux Falls, SD. You opened one for me, I opened the next for you. You said thanks and something else I don't remember, but I didn't say anything in return. It wasn't because I didn't want to. I just didn't.
Maybe it was because I've had too much on my mind. My wheelchair was busted and I wasn't sure if I could afford to get it fixed today. I still feel like shit after all the doctors appointments. And I still wasn't sure if I could afford the last part of my Secret Santa's gift (which is Wausau too late)
Know this; you helped make my day suck a little bit less. Its not that you opened the door, its that you weren't condescending or patronizing.
And now; Chair is now fixed, Dr appointments will work. And I finally found some money for the SS gift. Stuff isn't easy, but maybe not all hope is lost.
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cool people make the world suck less.
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t3_2h8hbr
|
relationships
|
7 years relationship ended 9 months ago. She [26f] met a guy and moved on easily. I [30m] have met a few girls and it has been so hard.
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Can someone really move on that easily? 3 months into the breakup, she met a new group of people. Guys mostly. Younger than her. I tried getting her back, but she decided the alternate route. Choosing a life of debauchery, drinking and smoking pot with her new friends. I recently found out she had been hanging out with this dude from the group all along.
I no longer know anything about her. I have met some women but it has been very difficult for me to move on. Only time has been able to heal me. But how did she so easily? It was such a long relationship. Very passionate. She wanted commitment. She wanted marriage. She wanted a family. And i was willing to give it to her. But she changed completely. What the fuck happened to her? Why did a once good girl suddenly become what she is now? She's lost. She's dead in my eyes. Did I live a lie?
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Long relationship. She met someone and moved on very easily. Changed completely. How is this possible?
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t3_4mguq8
|
tifu
|
TIFU by telling the bug exterminator's no
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About three weeks ago, a man for a bug exterminator company in my area came to the door asking if he could spray for insects. Earlier that day I received an email from one of the companies I applied at for work during this summer, and the email said I did not get the position. I was not in a good mood when the man came to the door and his charging rates were a little too expensive for the package he was offering. He wouldn't leave and kept on trying to get my business. After about 5 minutes of him reading stats and elaborating on their quality service, I had enough and said to him, "I have lived in this new development for the last 6 years and have yet to have a problem with any sort of insects." That shut him up and he left.
Fast forward to today. I find a bug in my basement I haven't seen before. Then I find two more just like it. I do some research and to my pleasure, the bugs are longhorn beetles. These beetles are relatives to termites but are not as bad as termites. I should have been nicer to the exterminator guy. Karma is a bitch.
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Told bug exterminator guy to fuck off, find termite like bugs weeks later in home.
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t3_2aqgui
|
relationship_advice
|
Me, 26 year old male, is upset with my girlfriend, 25 year old female. Am I in the wrong?
|
A little background: My girlfriend and I have been dating for 8 months. We've had rocky moments and lately I've felt a huge lack of caring towards the relationship. At best I'm struggling to find feelings towards her, at worst I'm a bit nasty towards her in tone. Initially I had great love for her, but now I've reached a point of not caring due to issues with her that have pushed me away over the past two months.
She's the type of person to check her phone every few minutes. This is hugely important to the story because it's why I'm pissed. She decided to go out dancing with her friends and the roads are pretty bad due to weather. I last texted her at 10:30pm, with her responses being quick in between until the last message I sent her. An hour goes by and she hasn't texted me back, I asked her if she's okay. Another 45 minutes go by and I text her and her friend.
30 minutes after that, over 2 hours since last contact, she finally responds that she didn't feel her phone. Now I know that she religiously checks her phone as I said. I feel that she purposely left me hanging as a way to get me to show concern since I've been so monotone lately with her and this is greatly pissing me off.
Am I being a baby about this, or am I in the right?
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Girlfriend of 8 months religiously checks her phone normally, but ignores my texts for 2.5 hours causing me to worry. I feel that she's doing it for attention. Am I wrong for being pissed?
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t3_3mljyr
|
relationships
|
My(21F) boyfriend(24M) and i are having a disagreement over Birth control and sex frequency
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So my boyfriend of 2 years and i are somehow ''fighting'' over birth control and sex frequency.
I'm currently on the IUD and i am happy with it. I told my boyfriend i don't think i could have an abortion unless the conceiving happened in a non consensual way. He knew this from the very beggining of our relationship. I made sure he understood the fact that while i'll be extra careful with BC methods i wouldn't get an abortion if something happened. I would keep the baby and i hope he will support me. He understood and agreed with me.
We currently have sex only occasionally (2-3 times a month) and i follow my cycle very closely. However nowadays he has been asking to increase the frequency and want to go condomless when it's ''safe" during my cycle. Although i can understand him, i'm a bit paranoid i wouldn't feel comfortable taking so much risks. In the future i plan on being less strict when i'll get my degree and be financially stable but for the moment i can't. I communicated these concerns to him and he was understanding but thinks i'm being overly cautious. He already works and has a decent salary (actually high for someone his age in our country) and said he could support us in case something happened but i'm still wary. I'm not even being fair to him since he already pays my car insurance. I know he is a reliable man but all my career goals would be thrown aside if an accident happened. He already wanted to talk about marriage but even if i do want to marry him i think i should grow a bit more as a person before making such a decision.
I love him deeply and i wish i could indulge him and fulfill his needs more but i'm still a bit reluctant and scared. Am i being unreasonable for not agreeing with him? How can we compromise?
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I'm on the IUD and we always use condoms. We don't have sex frequently although it has nothing to do with our sex drive. I don't want to ever abort so i'm being very careful. Boyfriend would like for me to be less strict. What should i do?
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