id
stringlengths 8
9
| subreddit
stringclasses 29
values | title
stringlengths 1
300
| post
stringlengths 1
2.51k
| summary
stringlengths 0
1.79k
|
|---|---|---|---|---|
t3_4gxxhw
|
relationships
|
I suspect that my [26M] girlfriend [26F] got out of an abusive relationship, does this add up?
|
I've known her for a very long time. She had a relationship for about 3 years that I never really made any of my business. That ended, a few months after we became involved. We've been together for about 8 months, and things are going great. We don't really fight, we are very good at compromising on things, but lots of times we are good at going one way or the other, in terms of what we want, which I think is good. It feels like I'm finally dating an adult, and we're honest with each other, and do our best to solve our problems.
However, every now and then, she will say something like "i have to tell you something, please don't get mad at me", or "promise you won't get mad if I tell you something?", and every time it's something that I would *never* get mad at her for. It's something like her admitting she was worried about her appearance, or telling her close friend that me and her spent a weekend at a hotel as a small vacation. I always tell her that she looks great, which is genuine, or that it's ok that she told her *one* friend that we took a small vacation, really, it's private, but it's really not a big deal at all, we just like some time to ourselves, even if more people knew, it's not a big deal. Every once in a while, she'll have a very small problem, and she'll always basically beg me to not get mad at her. I always try to reassure her that I would never get mad at her for small things like that.
It's just that she gets very nervous when telling me these things, that I would never get mad at her for, but she is so careful about saying it. I get the feeling her ex would freak out on her, and she's worried I would too, but does that sound right?
|
girlfriend is worried I'll get mad at her for things that I don't even worry about, think it was her ex that did this?"
|
t3_d7160
|
AskReddit
|
Laptop Advice?
|
Ok, so I'm starting a masters degree in October. I'm going to invest in buying a new laptop. I have a budget of ~€500 (~$650 USD/£410/$670 CAD)). I'm not entirely sure what i'm looking for, I will be using the laptop everyday pretty much so I guess reliability, ease of use are important qualities.
So I suppose i'm asking the wise ressit users for advice on laptop brands (which are good and which are bad), perhaps even sepcific laptops. Links would be appreciated also if possible (but obviously the advice is what i'm looking for).
Also, advice and where to buy. I live in Ireland, so newegg.com is a no can do. Or perhaps an actual store would be best? I should say now, I don't want a mac so please don't suggest it. Also the budget can't stretch much further, maybe €50 so I was given advice about lenovo laptops but from what i can see they are out of price range.
Really appreciate any support people can give. Apologies about the lack of humour. I'll try step it up in response to comments. Cheers guys (and girls of course).
|
Buying a new laptop, advice on brands? Specific Laptops? Where to buy?...Dont want a mac. ~€500 budget ($650 USD)
|
t3_g5kqn
|
AskReddit
|
How do I handle this credit card company?
|
Bit of back story-
I am speechless and just not sure where to go from here. I have a credit card where the monthly payment is due on the 8th. I made the payment and according to the account the payment was posted to the account 2 days later on the 10th. Then 2 days after that a late fee of $25 was added to the account. I called the company and was treated to some of the worst customer service I have ever had. The first person I spoke with hung up on me after I asked about the inconsistency. I was already upset at this point and after calling back the next representative started yelling at me saying a late fee was charged because I was late and I wouldn't be able to lie my way out of the charge. After getting a manager on the phone they told me it wasn't their fault that the payment was posted 2 days after I had submitted the payment. He told me from there that he would not reverse the fee as it was justified and it was my fault for not knowing how their payment system worked. I asked to cancel the card but was told if I did they would ding my credit. Any suggestions Reddit? How do I go about having this fee reversed or am I just stuck with it(It won't make or break me, just annoys me to receive that kind of treatment then still told I have to pay it)?
|
Credit card company charged me a late fee for a payment that was on time, said it was my fault for not knowing how their payment system worked.
|
t3_1h57h5
|
relationships
|
Me[23M] with my GF [23F] of 6 month just started long distance thinks I'll cheat on her
|
I've been with this amazing girl for the past 6 months or so, but now we're going to be doing long distance for at least 2 years due to different job locations. After a month of texting everyday, calling, and skyping occasionally, all seemed well.
However, now she says she's so very scared of getting hurt, as in that I'll find someone better, or even that I'm eventually going to cheat on her. I've tried telling her how much she means to me, and she's obviously been hurt before but I just can't seem to convince her...what can I do?
|
just had to start long distance with gf, she thinks I'm going to eventually cheat on her and get hurt. How can I make her feel safe?
|
t3_nrt0z
|
AskReddit
|
Date the woman who ripped my heart out?
|
Reddit:
I'm in a predicament and need your assistance. Four years ago I met 'that girl'...you know, the one who owns your heart and who you plan a life with.
Two years ago, she walked away. She said she wasn't ready for commitment, so she ran. Dropped out of the school we were at, moved home.
The week before Christmas, we get dinner and see each other for the first time since she left. She says she wants to get back together, and thinks we should get married. I still love her, but am scared of a repeat.
Do I risk it and date her again? Help reddit!
|
Ex-reappears 2 years later and wants to get back together. Yes or no?
|
t3_4ipq1s
|
Advice
|
Should I chip in for a gift to a friend's girlfriend?
|
My friend John has a girlfriend, Jane. Jane's birthday is coming up and John wants to give Jane a present worth $700. John cannot afford the gift alone, so he asks friends (of both John and Jane) to pool money together to be able to buy the present.
I am one of the friends asked to chip in. So far, John has successfully asked over 30 people to chip in, so the total contribution per person is currently under $25.
I do not know Jane that well. I have met her 5 times, including going on a trip together. On a "friend scale", I would hang out with Jane only if John and other people are there (group).
Another thing is that I recently participated in a gift-pool for another friend, Lily, in the same social group. It was a $15 contribution for Lily's present. Lily is on a level a little higher than Jane, but Lily *was* a dating interest. I have met Lily around 4-6 times, only once without Jane in the group.
My question is whether I should chip in for Jane's gift? On one hand, I think $25 is too much to spend (I don't normally give gifts, Lily was because she was a dating interest). On the other hand, it feels like it would be awkward the next time I hang out with the group. However, I will probably only hang out with the group at most twice in the future.
What do you think?
|
Asked to participate ($25) in a gift-pool for a friend I have only met 5 times. Yes or no?
|
t3_3ks3c5
|
tifu
|
TIFU by biting a would-be knife
|
so i was playfighting with my little brother, and he pretended he stabbed me with a knife (he used his phone). then he stuck it up my mouth, and I grabbed it with my teeth, apparently a little too tight, because i heard a *KNACK*. I thought it would be the plastic cover of his phone, so i didn't worry at first. but then I asked him to check his phone. there was a crack in his screen. still not worried, all 'em kids have broken screens anyway, they still work and they still use them, and ithis was just a small crack. his battery was dead at the moment, so when he went to bed, he found out his home, back and search button didn't work anymore, so he had to restart his phone every time he wanted to go back. so I decided to be a good guy and I gave him my phone, leaving myself with no phone at all.
|
I bit in my little brother's phone, it broke and I gave him my phone, leaving me without one.
|
t3_2l8i0w
|
relationships
|
Me [27F] living with my Best Friend of 7 years. Sometimes confused by her seductive acts around me
|
I am a 27 year old female. I have been living with my best friend (girl)of 7 years for the past one year. We knew each other from our undergrad years. We are international students in a Canadian university doing our Masters now.
Coming from a more confined society( when it comes to sexuality) my best friend hasn't had sex(penetration), despite being in a relationship for several years.She is still in a long distance relationship with the same guy. I know that she was the most touchy and playful person in our group of girls among close friends...After living with her here, I notice few things about her that annoy me.
She regularly seductively dances around me before shower or after shower in her towel like Bollywood actresses or may be dance or talk seductively at other times. We used to be touchy with each other earlier(but honestly for me it was never sexual and I only retaliated after she slapped or pinched me somewhere sensitive). She is more in control and has cut back on these things these days perhaps because she reads a lot about these things on internet these days.
I sometimes think she is bisexual or just too confident about herself( although I am fairly attractive than her overall) or she is simply trying to seduce me. I just find it uncomfortable and annoying so I pretend to not notice whatever she is doing. I don't feel the need to flaunt my sexy body or dance sexy around her even though I am sexier than her.
Can you please suggest how I can talk to her about this? Or what I should make of this kind of behaviour!
|
What should I make of this kind of behaviour? Is it common between best friends?Or Am I over thinking???
|
t3_ehhdh
|
relationship_advice
|
20M, girlfriend (20) asking questions I can't answer
|
Background- started dating end of junior year. She was coming out of an emotionally abusive relationship (crazy ex who couldn't let go) and we both sort of fell into it. Despite this being my first relationship, we got through her self-esteem issues, the emotional damage, etc. Fell hard into love.
Fast forward to end of summer right before college, best summer of my life (alot of firsts) The relationship was supposed to end, we were going to colleges 4hr apart. We agreed on it and went through with it for a day. She said she made a mistake and wanted to try a long distance relationship.
Result of long distance relationship- we got closer, got through fights, saw each other once a month, I ended up transferring after she proposed. (time passed = 1 semester) I didn't see ldr working out and didn't want it to end.
Present- at the same college, still care about each other, still in love. Then I do something stupid. Not realizing that feelings change/grow, I break up with her because I'm unsure whether I'm still in love.
This lasts about a day, she asks for me back. I agree.
The problem- because of insecurity and our past "breakups", she often questions whether I love her, whether I wish I hadn't come back, would I be happy with someone else? I don't have the experience with anyone else to answer this and I tell her that.
I don't think it's enough, she always withdraws after these conversations. That hurts.
My lament- should I end this for good? Or stay despite the pain, because I do love her.
|
Girlfriend asks whether I would be happier with someone else despite this being my only relationship. It's making me feel uncertain.
|
t3_33m7ly
|
relationships
|
Me [32F] with my husband [34M], married two years, together for 6. Is ignorance bliss?
|
At the end of the year last year, I decided to open my husband's credit card statement. I had no inkling that anything was going on. We are very happy and tell each other we, love each other. However, I discovered that he's been going erotic massage parlors.
I am devastated. I don't know what lead me to open his credit card statement that he always just throws away, he never opens it himself.
My problem now is what to do for my next step. Do I just ignore this and pretend that nothing is going on? Do I tell him I know, but that I found out by opening his credit card statement? I know that's not the right thing to do and like I said, I had no reason to... and he obviously isn't trying to hide anything by just throwing them away.
How do I bring this up to him? Should I bring this up to him? I don't want to divorce him, but I do need to let him know his actions have broken my heart and I'm really upset by this whole situation.
thank you...
|
open husbands credit card statement, he's getting erotic massages. wish I had never opened the statement. very upset and don't know how to confront him (or even if I should).
|
t3_2wg212
|
relationships
|
My [21/F] coworker [20/F] doesn't seem to be doing any work when no one's around. Is this something I shouldn't stick my nose in?
|
This is a really minor issue compared to everything else in this sub haha. I'm a student worker in a small Human Resources office. I really like the job, my fellow student coworkers and I get along great and it's pretty low key work. We busy ourselves with various tasks around the office and the managers will occasionally come out of their offices to give us a project to work on.
My coworker "Beth" started working here a couple months ago (I've been here 2 years). I'm not her supervisor but I do have seniority over her and vague instructions from my manager to show her the ropes. She seems like a really sweet girl but lately I've been noticing that it doesn't seem she gets a lot of work done when she's working alone in the office. Yesterday she worked 3 hours alone before closing, and opening today I saw she made no progress on the project we're working on and little proof of other work done. I'm not against browsing Reddit every so often but it looks like this girl did 30 minutes of work max in all of those 3 hours. I really like how chill my work is but she seems to be abusing it.
What should I do, if anything? Talk to my manager? It feels brown nosey and nitpicky to tattletale on my coworker. Should I talk to her directly? If so, what's a way I can ask her about it without sounding accusatory? Or should I just leave it be since it doesn't affect me directly?
|
My coworker doesn't seem to be doing any work during her shifts alone and I don't know how or if I should butt into it.
|
t3_qty2i
|
AskReddit
|
What's the worst thing that's happened to you while volunteering?
|
When I was in college, I volunteered at the local animal shelter. One afternoon, I was asked to bring the dogs in from the outside kennels, as it was going to rain. I had brought in all but one, a little beagle-dachshund mix. As I opened the gate, he was able to squeeze out and ran for it.
As the shelter was near a relatively busy road, I decided to go after him rather than get help first. He booked it up a grassy path, and I followed him. A little further up the path, there was a large ditch I had never seen, as it was hidden from the main shelter by trees. I saw pipes near it, and assumed they were doing some plumbing work. Thankfully (I thought) the little dog ran down it, and I knew it was too steep for him to run back out of, so I went in after him.
I finally catch up to him, grab him, and go to start climbing out. It isn't until one of my feet sink down an inch or so in the soft dirt that I feel something underfoot that wasn't soft, but wasn't a rock either. To my horror, as I look around, I see more and more "rocks" that aren't rocks. It turns out that the dog had lead me down into the hole the shelter had used for the past year for all the animals that had died or had to be put down.
|
Chased a shelter dog into a mass pet grave, and had to crawl out over hundreds of body parts.
|
t3_1js35w
|
relationships
|
Me[39/M] with my wife [36/F] 12 years, suspect her of cheating
|
So here's the deal. While crusing the net, I found something posted about my wife cheating on me. Normally, I wouldn't give it much thought as i-net drama happens sometimes. But the scenario described seemed to fit a time when she went out with friends. Then a few days later, somebody posted up a comment that related.
She had cheated on me before. I didn't know the details of how she picked up on guys but the comment described was awful familiar. Short story, she hooked up with a guy and just left for about week. I found out where she was at (it was a small town) and we ended up "working it out."
And now the twist...
As part of the solution, we talked about having an open relationship. I've had friends who were like this and made it work. She was extremely resistant and decided not to go this route. Ever since that conversation, she was suspicious of me cheating. Although I've had plutonic female friends, whom I've always told my wife about, I have NEVER cheated on her.
I'm an honest person with her and hide nothing. I'm starting to feel like I'm not getting the same respect out of her. Right now, we're separated on business. We talk daily and even Skype. She puts on a good "front" like she isn't doing anything and I think that she doesn't know that I suspect something.
To make matters even worse. She is completely dependent on me. She has no job and quit school. She talks about going back to school and probably will but other than that, she's got nothing but time.
I'm not sure of this course of action. I honestly feel that she has been cheating on me. I love her and we have 12 years together. There's no children in the house and most of our belonging can be split amicably. I'm considering a permanent position hundred of miles away and am not sure if I should bring her along. What to do?
|
Wife of 12 yrs is suspect of cheating. She has cheated before. Unsure of what to do.
|
t3_2z2uy8
|
relationship_advice
|
(Ex)Boyfriend (32M) gave me (24F) money for an abortion and wants me to pay him back half since he dumped me
|
I'm a student working about 20 hours a week for $12 an hour. Three months ago, the birth control failed and we got pregnant. He always wanted an abortion and I didn't want to initially for religious reasons but ended up getting one because I believed it was the best option at the time. He gave me money to abort after I told him I couldn't afford it at the time. I didn't want to accept at first cause I hate owing people money and I was embarrassed but waiting for my next few paychecks to come meant I was going to be further along my pregnancy. He assured me that I could just come spend the week with him and pay him back "in kisses" and to not worry about money...$500 was "easily made in 2 days" at his job according to him. So I accepted and had the procedure done.
It's been 3 weeks since the abortion. I'm a huge mess over it and it's been hard emotionally. He hasn't been sympathetic and understanding and has started picking fights over it, saying I'm too emotional etc. He broke up with me and told me to write him back a check for $500z
Should I reimburse him? I know it's his money and perhaps I'm just being resentful but I don't want to, in addition to the fact I actually cannot afford to at this time. Any advice?
|
ex boyfriend wants his $500 back that he gave me for an abortion there weeks ago. We broke up. What should I do?
|
t3_3pcfcm
|
weddingplanning
|
[PSA] on Wanderable.com Registry
|
FH and I registered for several excursions on Wanderable.com for our honeymoon and it has been great so far--except for one thing.
We registered for a $700 half day private charter and someone gifted us $140 towards it. We had received several other presents that we hadn't seen any money come into our account, yet we were able to get the excursions scheduled with no problem.
I emailed Wanderable to see what the deal was. It turns out that any gifts that you register with Wanderable that is in their Experience Network Provider, they go ahead and pay the merchant for the amount provided. If there is an outstanding balance at the time you book, you pay for the rest of it.
So, since we didn't realize that, we're now working to try and get our gifted money back from them because, y'know, not everyone has just an extra $560 laying around to pay for a half day charter. If we had known then what we know now about paying the balance, we wouldn't have registered for that excursion! It's not clearly marked on the website, either, as far as I know. I read through the FAQs a few times before settling on using them. (NOTE: found where it says it now. Buried, of course.)
|
Wanderable is awesome, but don't register for things that you can't actually afford in case you have to pay the balance.
|
t3_370z78
|
tifu
|
TIFU by going down on my girlfriend [NSFW]
|
Hey guys. Would like to start this one off with an obligatory "This happened a few days ago, not yesterday".
So my girlfriend and I were in the bedroom doing adult things with each other. Unfortunately, my boys decided to arrive a bit early, before my girlfriend had finished, so as I always do, I went down on her so she could come too. After we were done, I laid down beside her and noticed that the condom I had hastily put on had broke during sex. Panicked, we quickly dressed and ran to the store to grab some emergency contraception. On the way there my girlfriend turns and looks at me and says: "Yabbadabbadooooo, there was no semen in that condom was there?"
"Well no, it had broke."
"Didn't you go down on me afterwards?"
She can't stop laughing about it and thinking about it still makes me feel sick. That wasn't salvia I noticed. Not. Fucking. Saliva.
|
Inadvertently ate my own creampie.
|
t3_3ho92w
|
relationships
|
I hate all attractive Indian women because my boyfriend cheated with one... What do I do?
|
This was over a year ago but my (25f) boyfriend (26m) of 5 years cheated on me with an Indian women. They worked together and he would talk about her every now and then. As time went on, he would talk about her more and more. I started to dislike the thought of her simply because he spoke about her so often. He would tell me about some of the things she did and said and, while it could have been taken as totally innocent, I always thought she meant it as something more.
One night he stayed at work late and when he came back he looked sick. I asked him what had happened and he told me that he had something to tell me. He told me that he had kissed her. Just kissing and touching, no clothes off, nothing more. I was so heart broken. It took me a long time for me to get over it. As a sign of "good faith" he quit his job. I have absolutely no reason to suspect he's done anything else since then. He's constantly checking in with me, to the point where it's almost unnecessary, but I do appreciate it.
I'm over the fact that he cheated. What I can't seem to get over is this sort of hatred I have for attractive Indian women around our age. Every time I see a woman like that, my heart sinks and I get upset, not at him, but at the woman I just saw and at the woman who touched my boyfriend. What should I do to get over this?
|
Boyfriend cheated with an Indian woman and now I feel a sort of hatred/ distaste towards them. Help?
|
t3_1ootrj
|
relationships
|
Me [31F] with my ___ [28 M] 4 years, Messy house messy fights!
|
**wife cleaning stereotype?**:
I don't know how to find a middle ground with housekeeping. We have an Ayi (Chinese housekeeper) who comes once a week for two hours, we can't really afford more than that. She helps us avoid the big fights over the toilet and shower and hanging out the laundry, but almost everyday, except for the days I travel for work, I spend my mornings cleaning up. Yes, it's half my mess.
**Different Cleanliness Standards**
When I met my awesome husband his room was buried in junk food wrappers he had two tvs and a computer (he's a gamer) and he only had space for his butt. He never cleaned. His mom washed and folded his clothes and laid it on his bed, he chose from the pile.
I grew up with a meticulous mother, over meticulous, and I was considered the messy one of the family. I work in academia and spend a lot of time at home prepping and grading, and I can't work in a messy space, so I spend my mornings cleaning in order to make time for my office hours. Our apartment is never the way I would like it to be, but sometimes I exhaust myself cleaning. I try and compromise. He tries to meet me halfway, but I can't help but feel I'm doing the lion's share.
**Help / Suggestions**
Does anyone have any suggestions for us - anyone have similar temperaments and can attest to things that have helped?
Thanks!
|
We fight over cleaning, even though we have a maid. It drives me nuts. Help.
|
t3_p3b7s
|
relationships
|
In a relationship of 9 months, I've always had trust issues
|
I have had problems with trusting people even before this relationship began. We met at a party through mutual friends, and at the time she was dating some kid from a distant state. We continued to hang out, and she eventually dumped this kid for me. The breakup was bad, she dumped him and he called her a bunch of names like cunt and whatnot. About a month into our relationship she had a trip planned to visit this state to see this kid, and she had the plane tickets bought already so she went to stay at her relatives instead due to the breakup. Before she left I joked with her, DO NOT go see this kid and she promised she wouldn't.
Fast forward about 5 months and I get into her Facebook because im paranoid as hell about her and my trust is all over the place. I read her messages to see if she's been faithful to me, and she has, except for when I get to when shes on this stupid trip. She messages her ex saying "I wish we were on speaking terms, I'm so bored you could come pick me up and we could have some fun."
When I saw that I flipped a shit and I texted her saying I wanted to break up. She came over, was crying and saying she didnt remember any of that and that she never saw him that time. I decided to stay because we say we love eachother and she means a lot to me.
It's been about 2 or 3 months since then and it's been a rollercoaster of emotion for me, up and down up and down. I always get myself in these paranoid fits and constantly check her facebook and email to look for ill-signs, and when she comes over I check her text messages when shes not around.
I hate living this relationship like this. I feel like a creeper and that I dont know what to do. I want to trust her and I really think I can because there have been no red flags since then, but its hard for me to take this wall down that I have been using to protect myself.
What are your thoughts?
|
Been with my gf for almost 9 months now and I still have problems trusting her despite our happy relationship and our love for eachother
|
t3_x62is
|
relationships
|
Do I tell the husband of the woman my husband was cheating with?
|
A few months ago I caught my husband cheating (married more than a decade) and it turns out there were seven different women he was seeing. Most of them were married and all of them I knew personally.
I firmly believe it is none of my damn business to tell the spouses what is up with their marriages even though I am spectacularly pissed off at all of them and would love the comeuppance but, that is the wrong reason to ruin a family.
One of them however has me considering it, I was reading through all of the emails between her and my husband, she had moved to a different state so their relationship was now only over email and had been for over two years. She was (in order to keep things spicy I guess) doing truly dangerous shit. She was taking out Craigslist ads for fucking bareback and she linked to her ad and sent my husband a picture of this dude she fucked who answered the ad. When I found out I got myself tested right away, it scared the ever living crap out of me and I am fine, but what about her husband? Am I endangering his life by NOT telling him? They have a very young child and the woman begged me not to tell him because he would throw her out of the house. What do I do here? Am I culpable if this guy gets sick because I didn't take action?
Am I just considering this because I am felling vengeful?
|
Do I tell the husband he is in danger of an STD?
|
t3_325jzb
|
Cooking
|
First time Gumbo maker
|
Hey r/cooking!
I decided to attempt to tackle Gumbo for the first time this weekend and have some friends over to try it out.
I've read up on different recipes and thoughts on how to prepare the roux, etc, but I'm starting to get a little anxious that it will turn out poorly.
When sifting through recipes, are there things that should set off red flags for me? As in, what are the signs of a non authentic or poor recipes?
I was looking to use this recipe:
Also, if it's not too much to ask, what should I pair the gumbo with? I've seen a few things to suggest potato salad, but then saw elsewhere that pickles in potato salad can ruin the dish. I'm starting to get the feel that gumbo is a tad controversial as far as how it's prepared, but if there are any pointers you could give me, I would really appreciate it.
|
Making gumbo tomorrow- confused by all the recipes and variations. Don't know what sides will compliment the dish.
|
t3_2mc165
|
relationships
|
I [27 F] went on a first date with him [34 M] and it seemed to go really well. I asked him if he wanted to come over tonight for something important and he said he wasn't around. What does that mean?
|
Long story short, we met through our jobs (I'm a pharmaceutical vendor--his company does business with mine) and had an amazing dinner together initially for work.
It was so amazing that he even asked me out to a proper date which was one of the best I've ever had. He has been in contact with me daily, but I think that he deserves to know that I'm going through a divorce with my ex-husband before things continue (which I assume they will since he asked me on a second date).
I asked him if he could come over tonight/tomorrow/sunday night to talk, but he said that he "wasn't around" this weekend.
It bothers me that he didn't offer to come over another day. Is he just not interested?
|
even after a great first date, if a man tells you that he's "not around" this weekend after you ask him if you can talk, does that mean he's not interested?
|
t3_3vn8xr
|
relationships
|
I[26F] am in a relationship with my BF[29M], few months, who has been divorced before. .
|
I recently started serious dating this guy, who has been divorced in the past. Before dating we had both come out of some messed up relationship. I coming from a verbally abuse relationship and his wife cheated on him a couple of times.
We talked a lot before dating about what we wanted out of a relationship and what been with someone would look like for each other and I thought we were pretty solid space for a relationships. I mean, we both have some hang ups that we were/are working through but I felt pretty conifdent that we could help each other out.
However after dating for a bit, I realized that there were a few things bugging me with us. He wouldn't introduce me as his girlfriend to certain friend/members of his church groups and he would bring up his ex-wife in casual conversation. I ended up bringing both of these things up to him and since has made a big effort to introducing me as his girlfriend and understands that it is important to me. We have had a few smell gripes but I think we are going well.
This would be where my mother comes in. She has a tendency to believe the worst in someone and keeps bring up the fact that because I dated maniplative asshole before that everyone date after is that same type of guy. I reach out a lot to her for support so she had heard about this concerns with My bf. . She is convinced that is still in love with his ex, I always come home depressed after time with him, and have made this terrible choice.
It is to the point, she makes passive aggressive comments and has nothing necessarily caring to say about him. It is important to me that a SO would be accepted by my family but I keep hearing that I don't take advice. I just don't get it. What am I missing, are these warning signs and I am a dummy?
Are they right in front of my face and I am just missing out.
|
My BF has been married before and my mother is convinced that I am missing the warning signs. Am I?
|
t3_2al0ky
|
relationships
|
Me (25f) with my asperger bf(31m). Do we still have hope? X-post from r/aspergers
|
so I've posted how my bf made me cry before because I came over to surprise him and make him dinner and he was frustrated (He asked me to come over unannounced because he loves surprises).
With that plus, he made me bike (I'm horrible at biking. I haven't biked in 13 years and I never biked more than few times in my life) all the way to museum although I told him I don't want to. I was so anxious all the way because I didn't want to injure myself or others (the bike road is filled with tourists and tons of people) and it was nerve wrecking. Then he said insensitively how come I don't enjoy biking. Well because I can't FUCKING bike.
Also I've been telling him that I wanted to go hiking with him for months. He said no because he didn't want to go before 15k race, which he finished it yesterday.
So I brought it up yesterday, suddenly he wants to go, but with his work buddies. Without asking my opinion if I want to go with a group, he told me "We need find a group to go with".
I got mad because he didn't ask my opinion on this matter. He ASSUMES that I'll like it, or it's ok. He told his mom about my rape (which is a VERY personal MATTER) without asking my opinion or consent, and he did that again with my pregnancy scare in the past.
He's doing that same thing over and over again, and I'm tired to deal with it. I'm tired of him being insensitive to my feelings. I tried to talk to him about this matter and he told me I'm making a bigger deal out of nothing.
Do we even have a hope to keep going? I'm tired and stressed out.
|
My AS bf doesn't care about my feelings and I'm tired of it. do we have hope?
|
t3_rcghv
|
AskReddit
|
Accidentally hit a guy with my car. He's ok and nothing is broken. Reddit, what is the stupidest thing you've ever done?
|
Ok so this was obviously an accident and I feel really bad about it. Long story short I work at a convince store and I was closing. A guy, his girlfriend and his friend were having car trouble and asked for a jump. I move my car to give them a jump and accidentally pin the guy up against his car with mine. He was a little banged up and it was honestly an accident and I am really upset. I live in a small town and this will probably get around and will damage my reputation and label me a bad driver. it doesn't help that I'm a woman. I have never done anything this stupid. Any words of advice? should I just move away and change my identity or am I making a big deal out of nothing?
|
what do I do?
|
t3_3tca9i
|
tifu
|
TIFU by flashing my Android phone
|
This didn't happen today, it happened somewhere in August. So I was trying to get deeper into the Android rooting hypetrain. My phone was already rooted, but I thought that wasn't enough, so I found this patch that improves on some things. I was really curious to see what it was, so I installed Flashify, applied the patch, restarted my phone, and it didn't boot up, it was stuck on the LG logo (I have an LG G3 S, the mini version of the LG G3).
I waited like a minute and then I realized I soft-bricked my phone. Instead of fixing the problem, I decided to apply the patch again.
This time, it didn't even boot up at all. I held the power button down and just... nothing. I tried taking out the battery and putting it back in, but it still didn't work.
Finally, I sent it to LG to get a replacement, and I did get one.
|
Found this patch which required flashing, tried to apply it, didn't work, re-applied it, phone didn't boot up, realizes how stupid I am, sends phone to get a replacement, gets one.
|
t3_yf73y
|
relationships
|
I [22M] told my friend [24M] (who treats me as his little brother he never had) off without thinking.
|
Me and "J" have known each other for about 3-4 months now and met thru his closest friend; which is also my cousin. "J" spend most of his free time during the first couple months with me by taking me to places, introducing me to his friends, paying for me and even considered me as his little brother that he never had. During these times, I started to open up more, become more sociable, asking women out, making pool become my hobby, etc up to the point where I can talk to him easily about anything, which in a way I guess says we're pretty close, all thanks to him.
Recently, we were going to hang out and play some pool but he had trouble finding the place and me trying to give him directions wasn't helping either. When he told me "You can't talk right, just hand the phone to your friend." and without a beat, I told him "K, fuck you then." and proceed to hand the phone to my friend only to realize he disconnected already.
Later in the evening, my cousin came by to pick me up, talk to me about what I said to J earlier and explained to me what it had an effect to J. As my cousin kept explaining, I start to realize how much of a bastard I became and was ashame to say anything except that I wanted to got home. Once I go home, I called him immediately only to reach his voicemail. I texted him about what my cousin did and wanted to apologize to him face to face or at least let him know I'm sorry.
It's been 3 days, and I've been avoiding my friends because of this. I can't even look at the mirror, guilty, miserable and overall, regret what I said to someone that did alot for me and ask so little from me only to be dissapointed on how I return the favor to him.
My question is: Is there any this piece of shit can fix this friendship or is it permanantly broken for good?
|
I told my friend off over the phone when he was willing pick me up and spend the rest of his day with me.
|
t3_1obraw
|
relationship_advice
|
I (27/m) recently broke up with my GF (29/f). We're both having a hard time with this, but she keeps reaching out to me. How do I tell her to stop?
|
Like the title says, I recently broke it off after a year and 3 months. Long story short after 7 months of weekly fights and nothing changing despite my efforts, I felt it was time to call it. There are still feelings, there always are - break ups don't hurt because we don't feel things.
The thing is we were long distance, and I made a lot of things for her to remind her of what we had. She is going through them now and is feeling stuff. Every time she comes across something, she texts me. I don't want to know what she's feeling. I can't trust that she isn't trying to keep me on the hook anyway possible.
It's at the point where she fills my inbox with texts. I'm talking 10-20 new messages an hour. Phone calls and voicemails. She won't stop and I can't heal. How do I stop this?
|
I broke up with my GF a couple weeks ago. We're both hurting, but she won't stop emotionally beating on me. How do I make it stop?
|
t3_36xat3
|
jobs
|
How long should I stay at this job to make it count of my resume?
|
I have been working at a pre-entry level job at a large retail store. I plan on going into IT, but my current position is Head of the Technology Department, fixing and selling computers/accessories and training other techies.
I want to start applying to entry level type jobs while I continue my bachelor's in IT, but I don't know if leaving my current position after 6 months would look bad on a Resume.
Do you think I should just stick it out for the sake of having more time on my resume while I go to school (if money weren't part of the equation)?
|
I don't want to look like a flakey employee
|
t3_3hpxcr
|
relationships
|
How to deal with my [18F] boyfriend [29M] who is so insecure about how I dress?
|
I've been dating my boyfriend for 3 months and our relationship has been fantastic so far. He has treated me really well and so far we've gotten along like no other bf I've had before. The only thing that has been an ongoing issue with him is how I dress.
I wouldn't say I dress conservatively but I definitely do not dress "revealing". I'm naturally bigger up there so even a tank top or a dress I guess shows more than an average woman but it's nothing intentional. His mood always changes whenever I show a hint of skin, and he makes comments about why I need to wear a tank top, howcome I can't just wear a crewneck tee, or why I'm dumb for bending over or leaning over because guys can see down my shirt?! We've had a few fights over this because I don't think I'm doing anything wrong but he said I'm asking for other men to look at me inappropriately. I really enjoy his company but this issue is like a broken record and I don't know how to make it clear that it's really not as big a deal as he says it is! Would appreciate anyone lending an ear!
|
Boyfriend gets angry and passive aggressive whenever I wear a tank top or dress in public, saying I'm asking for other men to look at me. How do I deal with this?
|
t3_1h6onx
|
relationships
|
Confused about losing my virginity [19F] to BF of 2 years [18M] - NSFW
|
We've been sexually intimate for a while now through exchanges such as oral and dry sex however, not penetration. I do enjoy the intimate side of our relationship and do not feel the need for penetration. I acknowledge that penetration could add even more spice to our sex life.
I'm satisfied with where we are at this stage although my BF is urging that we have penetrative sex (understandably, because it has been almost 2 years). I feel pressured by this and I'm simply not entirely ready for it. Penetration is a daunting move because fingering has felt extremely uncomfortable and slightly painful. Both my BF's finger and my own have caused this discomfort so I've never had even half a finger inside me. On some of those occasions, I've been very wet and it has helped ease the discomfort, albeit only slightly. I understand this causes distress and disheartens my BF very much. He has been patient but is now placing pressure on me. It's unfair for either parties, I'll attempt to finger myself but I can't lie, I feel reluctant when I do try.
Also, I've been raised up with conservative values which are still reinforced to this day. "Saving myself until marriage" has always been the valued and only option in my parents' eyes. I don't like this idea at all, I feel it's an outdated tradition - unreasonable and controlling on females, in my context anyway. I definitely think these 'values' have added to my discomfort, if not the main cause of my discomfort, both psychologically and physically. Since I've had other forms of sex, I dont consider myself a virgin.
|
penetration is so daunting that it's weighing down my relationship with BF of 2 years. I've been raised with conservative values and have been feeling a lot of discomfort and slight pain when attempting fingering (even when lubed).
|
t3_30pski
|
relationships
|
Me [15m] and my best friend [15f] fell in love. She wakes up one morning and her feelings are gone. Please help me understand.
|
Me (15m) and Emily me last year and its like we've been best friends since day one. But I developed feelings for her after being best friends for a month and she knew this.
We've been best friends for little over a year now. And we have the strongest relationship ever. Its crazy. We argue at least ounce a month but no matter what we always tell each other we love each other at the end of every day.
Last week she sent me a text about how she thinks she's finally realized that I'm the right guy for her and that she wanted to marry me. And so we started acting like a couple real fast (talking about maybe babies, getting married, long texts about how much we love each other) and she even sent my mom this message two days ago.
> Uhm, you don't really know me. but I'm sure Dakota has talked about me. &&' I just wanted to tell you that your son is amazing!! He is literally the love of my life
imma marry him he has helped me through hard times! &&' I love him so much!! I just wanted to let ya know that imma be your daughter in law one of these days ((:>
And we hadn't even been dating yet because she and told me ounce before that she hates being asked out over text and we weren't able to see each other this week.
Okay so yesterday she was acting weird and not texting me as much as usual so I kept asking her what was wrong. She finally said she wasn't ready for a commitment or for anyone to tell her that they loved her. Then I asked her if she still had feelings for me and she said she doesn't know. She hasn't texted me much since then.
Can someone please help me understand? For this past week she has sent me so many long messages about how much she loves me and is it really possible for her to wake up one morning and not have feelings for me?
|
Me and my best friend fell in love. She woke up one morning and has no feelings for me.
|
t3_2fie1b
|
relationships
|
One of my roommates [20-30 M/F] left a large portion of money in the dryer...
|
So yeah, one day I was doing laundry and I found a very large amount of money in the dryer (close to 200 dollars) that you would think someone would notice is missing.
I figured I'd wait a week to see if anyone came to ask me about seeing it in the laundry, and none of them have asked me. Two days ago, I made a note and put it on the fridge that said "if you think you lost something in the laundry, let me know" so that the other roommates didn't know it was money just in case they tried to falsely claim it.
What should I do? I really want to give it back to the original owner and not be a thief.
|
A roommate left money in dryer and hasn't claimed it. What should I do?
|
t3_128ws6
|
AskReddit
|
Reddit, I'm falling for someone but leaving the country and state for good in less than a week. I've never been in a position like this at such an inopportune time. What are your experiences with these situations?
|
I've known this girl for about five months. We've always been good friends but have been actually seeing each other for about a month now. Our compatibility is uncanny. We share the same beliefs, political stances, likes and dislikes for the most part, music interests (which we sing in the car together), and spend as much time as possible with each other.
We've both said that we're sure we'd fall in love if I weren't leaving; and I'd stop this move if I had a real choice to. It's starting to really get to me at this point and it's hard to think what I'll do without her. I've had other relationships and I know that time heals all wounds. The sad part is that I'm already so scared for this one to open before the healing process can even begin. I wish so badly that circumstances could be better.
|
I'm leaving my perfect match for another country and it's sucks. A lot.
|
t3_4xsdpd
|
offmychest
|
Taught to lie when I was young.
|
Growing up as a kid my parents always would tell each other lies here and there so in my eyes it was normal. Now the lies weren't big lie it was always over stupid things that most normal people wouldn't lie about.
It wasn't until I meet my wife that I realized how much their lying rubbed off on me. I have gone through hard times with my wife because of the lies that I have told. I have been able to pretty much shake this habit but every once in awhile it reappears out of no where like yesterday. My wife comes home from work and asked if I let the dogs out. Without missing a beat I said yes automatically even though I knew I hadn't. My wife knows the face I make when I lie and was upset. She has since forgiven me after we talked about it. Though I'm sitting here still disgusted with myself that it happened. My wife deserves the best and I feel terrible that I slipped up. Lying sucks!
|
Taught to lie at a young age. Nearly ruined my marriage. Disgusted with myself cause I lied yesterday over nothing.
|
t3_3byfe2
|
relationships
|
Me [25 F] with my BF [26 M] 2 years, I know we're drifting apart but how do I end it with the least amount of self-torture?
|
I know, and I've known for a while, that we're not going to end up together. I thought really and truly that we were for a while, but now I'm seeing who he actually is, and although I don't say it, I don't think he's ready for a relationship or to care about someone else.
However, I just moved away from him to a new town (we're now long distance), and I have NO friends here. There are two other people at my work, and they're married with kids. I have no one else to talk to, so just ending it is really hard. I've been trying to go to meetups to meet new people, but I just can't connect with anyone. I meet people, but they don't turn into friendships.
I know that he's becoming a really toxic person in my life, and maybe his friendship isn't even worth it. But at the same time, with no one to go to, nothing to distract myself, no friends to commiserate with, I have no idea how I'm supposed to do this. I also have really bad anxiety and last time I tried to end it, I don't know how to describe it but I felt like I was losing my only anchor. I really have no one else.
Any help for how to do this?
|
I know i eventually need to break up with my BF. They say "distract yourself," how do you do that when you don't have any distractions?
|
t3_3fwt3y
|
relationships
|
Me [24M] with my virgin girlfriend [26F] Of 1 year have yet to get past 2nd base, I lost my virginity at 16 and have always had an active sex life. I've waited, and still nothing. Should I end it and move on?
|
My girlfriend and I have been going out for a year with some on and off break ups, during my off break up I've head sex a few times but it would be only as fwb.
I've accepted the fact it may take time but its been a year, and I'm starting to wonder if this will go any further because it's beginning to feel like we're just friends and we're only hanging out.
I have brought it up before a few times and every time I do she goes silent on the issue or she has to make some excuse and change the topic. I have managed to get one finger for moment in but that was a one time thing and even though she enjoyed it. It hasn't happen since.
She told me she has only had one or two boyfriends prior and shes never done anything with them at all. I'm not trying to come off as selfish but, I'm beginning to grow tired of masturbating to porn, I'm starting to feel very "forever alone" as well.
Also having thinking about it in the past month or so I question myself: Do I even want to take her virginity? Do I want that responsibility? Is it worth it?
I'm not sure what to do reddit any guidance on the matter could really help.
|
been with virgin girlfriend for one year
|
t3_i65ak
|
AskReddit
|
What is the one commercial or advertisement you hate the most and why?
|
Just pulled up Hulu for the first time in awhile and realized how lame most 30 second TV ads are.
The one series of ads that I remember that really irked me the most, when I actually had cable TV, was the 5 gum ads [like this one] Seriously, that fucking intense huh? My face will literally be on the brink of freezing off if I chew this 5 gram piece of sugar and gelatin? Do people put so much thought into something so miniscule as gum that commercials this epic need to be made in order to sway the consumer? I get that they are trying to exaggerate it and all, but man the production value for these commercials seems like they'd be through the roof and all for fucking gum!
|
Gum ads seem annoyingly outdone for such a tiny part of life
|
t3_17szs0
|
relationships
|
I[f19] fell for my boyfriend's[19] best friend[m18] and fell terribly torn apart.
|
Maybe my boyfriend[19] will see this. I don't really care.
We have been together for over a year. I[f19] fell in love with his best friend[m18]. I feel terrible for it. I talked to my bf about my crush on his friend. He didn't see a problem as long as he(my bf) is still the only one I really love.
We've been having so many problems lately. After one year with him I'm beginning to feel weary of him. I don't know if I really love him anymore. Not as much as I used to anyways. But we're still connected. We spent so much time together. I have many fond memories of him. He's part of my family. We just celebrated our first anniversary. We have, or had, big plans.
We were at his best friend's place last night and my bf fell asleep. I have no excuses for what I've done. His friend and I started holding hands and talking about what we feel for each other and we kissed. I cried. This went on for a few hours I think. I felt and still feel like the worst person on earth.
My bf woke up and ran to the door telling us he's leaving so that his friend and I can sleep with each other. So angry. His friend went after him saying we cannot let him leave like that. I was just sitting here, crying. My bf came back and asked me what I wanted.
I didn't and still don't know. I couldn't talk. I really owe him an answer. I don't have one.
He drove me home. I slept a few hours and my heart is still racing. I don't want to hurt anyone but I'll have to.
This sounds like it's out of a bad teenager romcom. Sorry for that.
I really needed to tell someone.
|
I fell for my bf's best friend, we kissed, I have no idea what I am doing.
|
t3_ocj5z
|
relationships
|
How to deal with a jealous boyfriend?
|
Me 23F Him 25 - Just starting dating, been official for a little over a month. My last relationship was about a year ago, lasted for 2 years, so I've been used to being single and having that freedom. His last was about 6 months ago I'd say but not too serious. Its moved pretty fast. We have a really strong connection and amazing chemistry. Pretty much we are crazy about each other and everything is going great.
The only thing that seems to be an issue is he's insecure from past relationships because he was cheated on and screwed over royally. I live with two gay guys, all the way gay (like freaked out by vaginas) and he still has an issue with it because they are still "guys". I go out to gay clubs a lot with them and he gets jealous but there's absolutely no threat. I am bi, and he has said that it worries him that I have more "options" for cheating?
He just worries so much about me, even though I reassure him that I'm nuts about him, he still gets jealous. I'm just scared that this will turn into a big thing and eventually push me away from him because I don't want to be controlled. I was honest in the beginning about wanting to still hang out with my friends and not vanish because I got a boyfriend. He also dislikes when guys comment on my fb statuses or pics, but my relationship status shows I'm dating him.
We talked about it a little last night and he just kept saying "I will learn to deal with it", but I don't feel like I'm doing anything wrong by still wanting to have a social life. I also don't want him to have to "deal" with anything, I want him to be comfortable and trusting.
How can I gain his trust? I don't want him to worry and I understand he's been burned before. What is the best route to go with this?
|
My new boyfriend gets jealous of me going out with my gay roommates to gay clubs. He's been cheated on before, how can I convince him that he has nothing to worry about?
|
t3_3gs6pq
|
relationships
|
How important is that butterfly feeling when starting a new relationship?
|
I (24F) have been casually seeing a new person (28M) for about a month. He is cute and funny, I enjoy spending time with him, and we're having great sex. Based on a couple things he has said and some conversations with mutual friends, I'm pretty sure he's going to pop the what are we/we should be a monogamous couple sort of thing question sooner rather than later.
The only problem, I'm not sure that I'm actually that into him. I like so many different components of him, but I don't get what I call that butterfly feeling when I'm around him. Seeing his name pop up in a text is certainly welcome, but I don't feel girlishly giddy by it. I love spending time with him, but I don't really miss it when we're apart. Friends will ask how it's going with new guy, and my answer is always some combination of greatidon'tknowgreatactuallynonoit'sfine. Not really the response of someone who is seriously crushing or seriously falling for someone.
Is this just a product of getting older? Should I ask for more time before committing to anything to see if I develop more intense feelings? Or is this a sign that I'm really just not that into him and I should break things off before he gets hurt? I don't want to lose a great guy, but there is no point dragging this out if it's never going to work out.
|
Just starting to date great guy, but the intense attraction I'm used to in new relationships isn't there. He wants to commit, what should I do?
|
t3_chzsu
|
Parenting
|
Today I became a father for the first time. My newly adopted son is five years old and has ADHD
|
Reddit, my wife and I signed the papers today to adopt a 5 year old boy from Children's Aid. It's all surreal right now, but it's been a blast so far, but it's like the honeymoon. I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop constantly.
It's been a long time coming for us, but we're so happy with him and his personality that he has (very similar to a nephew of ours). He's got a case of ADHD right now (Yes, he's on meds for it) and he's definitely not afraid of any strangers. Taking him walking, he says hi to everyone and even pointed to someone and said out loud "Daddy, he's black." *sigh* Youth...
Trying to get him to concentrate at times is like pulling teeth. I'm not really used to this type of behavior and don't want to get frustrated by it, but sometimes I just want to know what is going on in his mind. He's sort of like the Dug from the movie Up. Always looking at different things, different distractions and it's so difficult to even try and look him in the eye to speak to him. I get down to his level to look at him but he's never looking back at me.
|
Adopted a 5 year old boy w/ADHD. Need advice and suggestions to work on his concentration. Please. :)
|
t3_2ien5u
|
relationships
|
Me [19 M]with my best friend [18 M]. Went away for 2 months now my Friend has befriended 2 individuals I despise and who despise me. How can I confront my friend about this problem?
|
Hello. I'm just looking for advice on this problem I'm in.
I was away for 2 months for gaining work experience as part of my college course and have just returned home. I couldn't keep in contact much with my friend since I was very busy. But during this time my friend has become quite close to 2 guys who lets say are complete horrid people. Loud, arrogant, drugs, etc. And to make matters worse my best friend has become quite friendly with them in our college.Now these guys don't exactly like me much as I have told them exactly what i think of them and ignore their teases and insults (general obnoxious behaviour).
My friend now has been a bit more distant to me and does not want to hang or chat with me that much. We have been friends for so long and go bowling, movies etc every week. He always insists we bring these guys too and has blown me off lots of times this week just so he can hang with them (so hurtful :( )I mean friend knows that I don't like them much but doubt he understand I absoloutely despise them and them me!
I'm so nervous that il lose all contact with my friend and I know that i have to confront him about but I am very unsure how to go about it. I've never done anything like this before (not exactly a social butterfly). I'm just thinking of how or what to say and am nervous he may take it the wrong way or even get angry. I need your advice on how to deal with this. Has started to upset me a lot :(
|
best friend befriended 2 guys who I hate and who hate me. How do i deal with this?
|
t3_16vtps
|
relationship_advice
|
I'm being played and I'm done with it.
|
That's why I need you, Reddit. I figured this was the best sub Reddit for getting actual advice so here goes: I've been infatuated with this beautiful girl for months now named R. We're both 22, we both go to the same college, etc. We talk and smoke and drink together all the time, and I'm always flirty and cool with her (I think anyways), and she usually responds in kind. Last night we were both a a party and talked all night. The party progressed, I mingled (it was a party for one of my BFFs) but when I went to look for her again, she's nowhere to be found. I go outside to find her walking away hand and hand with her weed dealer of all people. I'm tired of getting emotionally jerked around by women like her and would like to do something that's going not only send a message to her, but also advertise to others not to do that crap with me.
|
I wanted a girl, (or should I say she wanted me?) I put in the time and effort to win her, and she lead me along for months, until last night when she screwed her drug dealer. I want to make her hurt like I do.
|
t3_11lctc
|
AskReddit
|
My family tried to start a cult. What is the most bizarre thing to which you have been a witness?
|
My family is a very conservative group, bordering on the radical. Every year we go to a small group of cabins for thanksgiving. While sitting around talking one evening the whole family begins talking about how much they hate the current administration and the government is going down the tubes, you know, conservative christian stuff. I should preface this next part by saying that at the time, I too was a very strong christian and agreed with them for the most part. The family begins talking about was of going off the grid. I think, ok, that's kind of a strange idea, but its America, they are free to do what they want. The conversation got stranger... The entire family started thinking of ways they could cut themselves off from society. They decided that the best way to keep the government out of their business was to sell all their individual properties and buy a large chunk of land in the middle of nowhere. At this point I am starting to think they are a little nuts. The conversation continued. They decided that they would build their own farms, and plant a church in the middle of the land claiming it as church property and therefore not subject to taxation. The group decided to do away with currency and only have one vehicle that would be run on bio-diesel for going in and out of town when absolutely necessary. My own father, who I should mention is an ordained minister and has a few mental issues decided he would pastor the church. We would have a small cache of weapons with which to defend the land if need be. This is the point that I said enough. I spoke up and said "You guys do realize that you're talking about starting a cult right? Not only are you talking about starting a cult, but a very dangerous one." I think at this point the family realized they where starting to sound and act a bit nuts, they blew it off as just a thought. I don't care what they say, they where dead serious.
|
Witnessed the conception and attempted birth of a cult, aborted that shit.
|
t3_v1159
|
relationships
|
Confusion over what to do with my best friend
|
I'm 18 years old and female, he's 18 as well. We have been acquaintances since we were both 16 but only became really close this year. We went out once earlier this year before we became really close. I told him that I didn't want to go out because it was too soon after a big breakup (I had been dating someone else for over a year, had only broken up a month prior). I really care about him and he's a wonderful friend. I feel incredibly shallow and guilty about the whole situation. I feel shallow because I am not attracted to him. I feel as if his looks (and inexperience) are holding me back. The guilt comes from the fact that he knew I was having a rough year and went out of his way to make me happy. I feel as I owe him something.
|
My best friend and I care a lot about each other, but I'm not attracted to him
|
t3_2hr36u
|
relationships
|
Me [20 /F] with my ex [23 M] 4 months, is it weird to send friendly text to ex?
|
So this is really stupid and I'm really inexperienced despite being 20, but basically I was going out with this guy in
college last year but we split when he graduated about 4 months ago, it was fairly peaceful, we were just at different stages
of our lives and he was nervous about graduating. We haven't contacted each other at all since then and I didn't see him for
the whole summer because I went back home and abroad. So, I ran in to him the other day at a lunch place we were both at
and he flashed me a really warm smile and came over to my table and said hi and was about to say something (he stood
there silent with mouth open for a sec and we had a long awkward stare and ended smiling and nodding) but I think the fact
that my friend was with me made him shy away and go to the bathroom instead of stay and chat, I also think I may have
given him the cold shoulder on accident (I was taken off guard that day). He was also with a group of people so I didn't want
to approach him. So what I'm wondering is if its weird to text him something like "sorry for being cold the other day, how's it
going?" and try to be friends or something because I do still like him as a person. I don't know, I just feel very stupid about
this and would like to hear a someone else's perspective and if they think this kind of thing is annoying or wouldn't want to
hear from a person they broke up with.
|
Had mild break up and ran into ex after 4 months of no contact, is it okay to initiate friendship?
|
t3_4t4rjp
|
relationships
|
I [16 M] am in love with a girl [15 F] who doesn't believe love exists
|
Okay so here goes:
I met this girl in school about a month ago through a mutual friend. I liked her instantly because we seemed to have a lot in common. We met once in school where we basically said "Hi" and introduced ourselves.
The next day or so, my mutual friend (let's call her Dana) told me that the girl (let's call her Penny) thought I was cute. That was a pretty big deal for me because I found her cute and nobody generally calls me cute.
I messaged her on Facebook some days later and we started talking. We instantly connected. We talked a lot with each other, constantly flirting, etc.
Soon we got closer and closer. We met in school too but not a lot as our classes were scheduled really differently. But we did have lunch together at times.
Basically we're really close now, so close that I know she basically loves me and I do too. We're basically a couple, we love each other and can't stand being without each other, except we havent actually started dating yet.
The reason for that is that she feels that love is shit and therefore she doesn't believe in relationships. I know with me it's different for her because she has mentioned before how "being with me makes her feel that maybe love just might exist". In fact today she asked me " If I were to fall in love with you, would you fall in love with me too? Because at times I really feel like telling you that I really love you a lot, but then I remember that love doesn't exist". I reassured her that of course I would love her back, because I love her now too and even I feel like expressing my love from time to time. We talked for a while but she concluded with the same old "Love is shit" philosophy.
My point is that I might not even need help with my current situation, as I might be able to convince her that love exists in the long run. However I really wanted to know if there's any way I can convince her earlier.
Point blank, my question is:
Could anyone help me in convincing Penny that love does exist?
|
I'm in love with a girl who is essentially in love with me too, except she doesn't believe in the idea of love and is frankly kinda scared of it.
|
t3_46f5v9
|
relationships
|
My (26M) younger sister (24F) of four years hasn't returned my texts since I admitted to dating a younger girl (18F) last year
|
February 2nd, I was catching up with my little sis by text message. We were making plans to meet that weekend, as we hadn't seen each other in a while.
Toward the end, she mentioned that she'd been dating a guy she met online for six months. This was the first I'd heard of him, and she hadn't had a bf in years, so I was pretty surprised and happy for her. Wanting to relate, I mentioned that I had a romantic (but totally non-sexual) relationship with a then-coworker at my day job.
No reply.
A few weeks have passed. I've sent her a few messages over time, trying to strike the conversation back up, but no reply.
She has a history of closing herself off to everyone except her sister (20F) when she's feeling depressed, so it could just be a coincidence that she's dropped off my radar. But maybe it was something I said? Maybe she thinks I was being a little bit Subway Jared, or even making shit up out of jealousy. I don't know. We used to confide everything in each other. I thought I could share that. We've been drifting apart lately, and I guess her new bf has just replaced me entirely.
It's been weighing on my mind ever since. I was already pretty sad about breaking up with my ex (the age gap was starting to really make me feel creepy, and I couldn't lead her on anymore), so being shut out by my sister is just making it worse. I wish I could just casually clarify to her that I never poked that kid (and I totally could have).
I had a pretty depressing, introspective Valentine's Day.
|
Reconnecting with sister; Learn she has a new boyfriend; Mentioned that I dated a younger girl last year; Radio silence.
|
t3_qvq62
|
AskReddit
|
Anyone out there who is over 16 and still have a bunch of imaginary friends?
|
So I'm gonna get a lot of WTF's from this. I may get downvoted into oblivion and this is a MAJOR throwaway but I just want to know if someone is like me.
So I am older than 16(female) and I have a bunch of imaginary friends. I know how fucking weird it is. But wait it gets way, WAY weirder(if that's a word).
They are actually people from my school that I pretend live with me. If feel like such a dumb ass for even typing this. I am looking at these words and I am thinking WTF is wrong with me... I talk to them and I say what they are saying back. I don't give them different voices or anything, and I am actually pretty crappy at replicating their personalities.
Irl, I have a group of friends and in this group, I have about 5 really good friends. Two best friends, both girls. Actually, I guess only one true best friend, since the other one appears to be avoided me outside of school. This group of friends has parties often and I am never invited to any of them. They all come to school on Monday and I sit down with them and listen to them talk about this awesome, super fun party they had. Then after the next period, I get to listen to them plan the next party. Right in front of me. And I never get invited. They never even acknowledge that I am there when they are planning. This irritates me, but I wouldn't really want to go anyway since most of them are fucking annoying when drunk(like most people), but it would still be nice to be thought of. I know these people aren't my true friends and I would never trust them with anything.
My imaginary friends aren't the people I hang out with. They are other people in the school that I have had classes with, or that I know from public school. They just live with me at my house and we just chill.
None of my friends, not even my best friends know about this. This is probably the only secret I have and I am trusting it to you reddit. What a horrible decision, but I have to know if there is ANYONE like me.
|
I am an over 16 year old girl who pretends some of my school mates live with me. And my friends are inconsiderate assholes.
|
t3_26yycf
|
tifu
|
TIFU by running out of the shower.
|
So I was in the shower minding my own business washing my bum. When all of a sudden I hear my SO scream OH MY GOD!!!! Followed by my 9 month old start screaming bloody murder. My first thought was "Oh shit the baby hurt himself". So I grab a towel and made a mad dash for the kitchen. And then it happens my feet go flying in the air, and I land right on my elbow and my toes to proceed to slide under the closet and get sliced open. I knew something was wrong because as soon as I went to get up my muscles started to spasm and there was no way my arm was bending. It began to hurt so bad it was making me sweat. End up going to the hospital and find out I broke my radius. So the next 4-6 weeks are going to be loads of fun! Oh, and the the jerk off had screamed because of a video game, startled the baby causing him to scream. :/
|
SO screamed, making baby screaming, causing me to break my arm...
|
t3_1ek6c7
|
AskReddit
|
Other guys keep hitting on my gf. How do I deal with this?
|
My GF has a very friendly personality and is all smiles to everyone, even ones who annoy her. A lot of guys take that as a come on and will on and hit on her, even when I'm there.
At first, I would kinda politely let them know our relationship, but it's getting to the point that I'm really annoyed because it happens a lot. I've never had this type of issue with previous girlfriends.
And I mean
**Also, I'd like to note that she is not doing this on purpose or seeking attention. we have a great relationship. She tells me a lot of stories about creepy guys trying to hit on her. Whenever we're out and a guy hits on her, she would give me a glance and laugh about it with me afterward. She tells me everything.**
She's from the valley where everyone is like that apparently. We're in nyc and I've told her it's not her fault that she's a friendly person. But it does annoy me why people would just keep hitting on my gf when I'm fucking right there. How should I deal with this issue?
|
a lot of guys hit on my gf who is friendly to everyone. she's annoyed too. i'm annoyed. what to do
|
t3_1p6ztg
|
relationships
|
I (23/m) am a nice guy but I'm starting to feel like a doormat to some of my friends. How do I grow a spine and be assertive without being a jerk?
|
Not gonna lie, I basically tiptoe issues a lot and am mostly non confrontational person. I feel like most of my friends think of me as a really passive and nice person. However lately I've been getting the feeling that some of my friends are just expecting things from me. Especially the girls in my group of friends. Things that I usually wouldn't mind but when they become frequent expectations I start to get irritated. the other day I was going to an event and my friend asked if I could drive her there as well. After I started driving, I realized that I always drive and I told her next time she's driving and she lightheartedly said "no. I don't drive. It's not gonna happen."
My friends called me dependable but now i just feel like a bitch quite frankly. I can be assertive when I want to be but these people already have this view of me that I'm really accommodating and patient. how do I go about my daily life being, quite frankly "more of a jerk", without being a douche? I don't know how to do this without my friends thinking I'm pissed off or being plain mean to them. I want them to know that I can keep up with their banter and dish insults out too and that it is all in good fun. I want to call people, especially my female friends out on their shit but I don't know how I would do that without coming off as a jerk. I don't mind helping out. I mind when you make expectations out of it. I am sick of being a doormat.
They're not bad people. I just need to change myself because this isn't the way anyone should live their life. We hang out every weekend and since I dd frequently (don't like drinking) I can see why they expect stuff. What can I do to change the dynamics of our relationship?
|
I help my friends out often and now they expect me to do certain things for them. How do I make myself more assertive and call them out on their shit without them considering me a pissed off asshole since their view of me is this "nice dependable guy"
|
t3_2lxtii
|
Advice
|
My apartment got burglarized by neighbor's kids. I found evidence all over their backyard. I'm scared that they will harass me endlessly after cops are done with them.
|
I came back from a week long work seminar to find my apartment burglarized. A bunch of stuff was missing, DSLR, laptop, tablet, gaming systems, shoes, etc (about $3,000 worth total). I have seen kids (12-14 yr olds) hanging around our apartment parking lot, since it's easy to access by jumping a low wall. Our parking lot is not gated.
The night I arrived, I filed a police report, and I had a suspicion that it was the neighbors but I had no proof. The next day walking to my car in the garage I peered over and saw a bunch of the golf clubs they had stolen by the trash cans, and I saw some other things that I identified as mine. I took pictures from my side of the wall, and called the cops. They told me they can't do anything without a warrant. I'm calling detectives tomorrow to get a search warrant and retrieve my belongings. A lot of stuff is already broken, and some stuff even in the trash.
I was planning on living in this apartment because it's cheap and really great inside for my area. But I'm afraid that once I report them, get all my stuff back, they will come and scratch up my car, break my windows, etc and harass me with stuff I can't get proof for. What should I do?
|
Kids broke into my apartment. Afraid they will do it again, or vandalize my car or apartment, and in general make it a huge hassle to keep living here. What can I do?
|
t3_13k3jg
|
relationship_advice
|
[19/m] I am about to start a new relationship with a fantastic girl I met [19], but I keep finding out reasons why not to...
|
I have a history of convincing myself of things, I suffer from generalized anxiety disorder, so I worry about whether my feelings are "real" or not. My last relationship I talked myself out of it and ended up hurting both myself and my ex. This new girl is wonderful, a lot of things I dream of finding things in a girl, but I find little problems, kind of talking me out of it, but I really want to give it a shot. I just can't ever seem to figure my own feelings out and worry (as usual) of history repeating itself.
edit
|
I want to give a relationship a shot but I don't know if it's fair
|
t3_fgzbu
|
AskReddit
|
Help! I've got no artistic skills whatsoever but need to come up with a bad ass symbol for my university's ultimate team.
|
The Team's name this year is Octopodes and we're a mostly young team at WVU trying to really lay the foundation to some success in later years, I Love Ultimate Frisbee and am asking for help with a design to go onto our jerseys.
I'm pretty sure the team wants an octopus(with 7 limbs due to only 7 being on the field at a time) holding a disc, with possibly the name somewhere in there too,
Any and all help would be appreciated.
The format we send the design in is in vector if that helps any.
Everyone's trying incredibly hard not to be bad and I'd really like to show people just how bad ass we are.
|
up and coming ultimate team needs a sweet jersey design.
|
t3_1g6yak
|
relationships
|
[28M] What to write in apology card to girlfriend [28F]?
|
A week ago my girlfriend of 6 months and I had a stupid argument and haven't spoken since (it was in-front of her friends and I walked off, all really pissing her off - yep, I'm an idiot). She didn't respond to my text message so I've decided to send her a "I'm so sorry, I love you" card along with a picture I drew of her cat.
Whilst the drawing is the primary payload I want to include a card (preferably referencing the cat), but stuff I've come up with so far like "This guy has 9 lives, please allow me one more" sounds terrible and cheesy. Would love some advice on a good short, sweet non-cheesy sounding card note.
|
How do you write a good apology card to girlfriend?
|
t3_3vz54k
|
dating_advice
|
I (23F) need advice on texting new guy
|
So there's a guy I'm talking to now. We're friends, but I've had a crush on him and I think there's something on his end as well. He's a little more private and quiet, but really funny and nice.
So, we text on and off, and since I hadn't seen him for a few days I decided to just take a tiny risk and text him (this was Sunday night). We ended up texting until 2:30 in the morning. The next day he replied and we kept texting all day. Again, stayed up texting last night and kept texting some today. It's been really chill, not having to respond instantly, and the conversation has flowed for the most part. A little weird/forced in a few spots but I think that's just getting to know each other.
I worry that he feels obligated to keep talking to me. Sometimes his responses are short or don't give me too much to go off of. I can't tell if that's typical guy or him trying to get out of it. At the same time, he's texted me back in the morning after not replying to me after falling asleep, when he could have easily let things stop. I'm probably overthinking all of this, but should I keep it going and not worry about it or let the conversation die off? So I've been thinking as I typed this and I think it's starting to be more clear to me even before I ask, but I want another opinion anyway.
|
Worried a guy feels obligated to text me.
|
t3_39epj7
|
loseit
|
Share your stories about your family, friends, SO, etc.! Supportive? Not?
|
I am lucky that I live in a very supportive household and never really realized how detrimental family members might be. I never imagined someone actually trying to hinder someone in weight loss.
[My 600 lb Life episodes are up on YouTube now] and I've been watching them back to back. So far it's been about 50/50 if the SO, parents, etc. are supportive or not, which shocks me. You've got mothers mocking their children for needing post-surgery help, you've got SOs going to the drive-thru on the way home from the hospital and deliberately waving food in front of their spouse's face and trying to tempt them, etc.
|
So I'm curious: How have others impacted your weight loss, either positive or negative? How, if at all, has your relationship with those people changed as a result of your weight loss and/or their actions? Basically, please share your stories!
|
t3_pseh6
|
self
|
Mom is getting remarried after dating a guy five months after getting out of a 30+ year marriage (details inside).
|
Sorry in advance for the long message, but I just don't know how to feel about this.
My mom divorced my dad about a year and a half ago. They tried to remain "friends" but it was obvious to anybody that it was a very painful divorce. They had been married for over 30 years. After she divorced him, she moved out to Minnesota, where she worked for 6 months before being literally fired for no reason. She then moved in with my grandparents while she found another job in Nowheresville. She hated it, so this summer finally found her dream job in Florida. Soon after moving to Florida, she signs up for a dating website. She ends up dating this guy, we'll call him Dude. Now it's February, they've been dating for about 5 months, and she Gmail chats me to tell me that she's getting married in October.
Now, I've always been a bit of a daddy's girl. When my parents divorced, I could tell that my dad took it a little hard. He's not always the best at expressing his feelings (which, I"m guessing had something to do with their divorce), but he really loved my mom. So I just feel like this might be even harder for him to take. My mom wasn't all that supportive of me throughout my life, either. I mean, I still love her to death- she's my mom. She did have a serious depression issue last year during which we became a lot closer.
Anyways, I'm ALSO getting married this year. Two months before my mom is getting remarried.
I'm not sure how I should feel about this whole situation. I know the rational response is to get over it, right? My mom can marry whoever she wants, whenever she wants, even if it's right after I get married.
I just want to know why I feel a little upset. What am I doing wrong here? I do want to be supportive and happy for my mom. I hate conflict and I don't want there to be any kind of drama between me and her at my own, and especially her wedding.
|
My mom is getting married to a guy she met 5 months ago, my dad is still not over her, and I'm also getting married this year. I am being irrational about it, and I need help to understand why I feel this way.
|
t3_1gyyt7
|
AskReddit
|
How does Worker's Compensation work? Would my situation apply if aggravated allow me to receive Worker's Comp?
|
I work a typical sedentary cubicle desk job and noticed a sharp pain near my hip, between my inner thigh and my groin when I move my leg at certain angles. I didn't experience this pain all weekend or before going into work but when I sat down I felt discomfort which elevated to pain.
I don't think it's a big deal but in case this elevates into something more serious or becomes aggravated, is sitting at your desk something you can claim as Worker's Comp?
Based on my precursory research, the forms and FAQ always seem to refer to an "accident" as if there was a car or some significant event that caused such pain but for me it was literally just sitting and moving my leg every so often. I have heard there was a lot of fraud involved with Worker's Comp but I wanted to see if this is something worth having on record in case my hip pain gets more serious. I also have a co-worker I mentioned my pain to.
Anybody familiar with Worker's Comp that can answer this particular question? I'd be grateful!
|
Can you claim Worker's Comp for feeling hip pain by just sitting as a part of your cubicle desk job?
|
t3_1ho6hg
|
relationships
|
My boyfriend [19M] is moving in with a friend who frequently smokes pot/drinks. I[18F] am worried.
|
He has to move in with someone that I don't really trust. Boyfriend has smoked pot before, but doesn't do it now because he knows I don't like it. He promised that he wouldn't, and I trust him. I know a lot of people say smoking is fine, but I just don't trust it. I can't after some previous experiences with people who frequently smoked.
His friend smokes pot and drinks a lot. I trust my boyfriend, but something is just worrying me. I just feel really bad and weird about the whole situation. I don't know if I should be okay with this or not.
|
Boyfriend is moving in with someone I don't trust. I don't know if I should worry or not.
|
t3_2npsgl
|
tifu
|
TIFU By Rushing a Preflight Walk Around
|
Well this actually happened last summer. I'm a flight student and, at the time, was training for my commercial pilot license. I got onto the ramp and to the airplane a little late and my instructor would be there soon. I did a quick walk-around and hurried back inside the plane to get the current weather information and a clearance. Well my instructor showed up and we started the plane up and went to the runway. I got my takeoff clearance, got on the runway, and accelerated. Now for the fuck up. My preflight was so rushed that I forgot to remove a cover off of the tubular sensor located under the left wing that gives me an airspeed indication (how fast I'm going through the air). Oops! That's really really really important information that I don't have now! Normally, it takes a little time for the gauge to kick in and start reading more than zero. Initially, I thought it was just taking a little longer to kick in, which would have been unusual, but not too bad. Later on the takeoff roll, my 6 a.m. drowsy mind realized why my speed was still showing zero and that I was a dumbass. Too bad I took so long to put it all together because I was running short on available runway and had to decide if I was going to lift off or abort the takeoff. I wasn't 100% certain if I'd stop in time so I lifted off because I knew for sure that we had enough speed. Of course, we couldn't do the training flight without airspeed indication so I had to land and take the plane back to the ramp. I won't be making a mistake like that again. That was embarrassing because normally, I'm very meticulous in the way I do things - especially when it comes to checklists. Also, the consequences of missing an item on a preflight inspection can be a lot worse depending on what was missed. The school charges by the total time the engine is running so because of the amount of time spent on the ground waiting for a takeoff clearance and the added instructor fee, my little lap around the airport flight ended up costing me $250 *cha ching* :(
|
I rushed my preflight inspection of the airplane and missed an item check. This resulted in the flight school charging me $250 for training that we didn't even get to do.
|
t3_36vvpn
|
relationships
|
I [23/M] feel not ready to marry my GF[30/F] of 3 years but I have to if I want to keep her. Long distance, visa, and other issues involved.
|
Hello Reddit, I am seeking advice (or comfort?) on a matter in which I know only I can decide, but still, I want to hear your thoughts, so please, I kindly ask you to help me.
I have been with my girlfriend (from Vietnam) for the past three years. We used to study in the same country (UK), but I had to go back to my country as I had finished my studies. So we started a LDR.
Core problem:
We used to visit each other quite often but she can no longer do it due to her visa being expired. I now visit her every two month or so but she will have to go back to her country at the end of the year. So, long story short, she suggests I marry her or we will have to break up. While I perfectly understand her position and want to keep the relationship, I just don't feel ready to commit yet.
Here are some more info
- I am her first boyfriend
- She is my second girlfriend, but first "true" girlfriend
- She is very religious and a conservative christian
- We have never lived together (I consider this point important before getting married, but she doesn't as it is not part of her culture)
- As a conservative, no marriage = no sex, of course
- She is worried she might not be able to carry a child if we wait too long as she is 30 years old
- She recently told me she wanted a child, like asap...
Note:
She really respects me and do not want to force me into anything. It is just that she doesn't have much choice. She truly thinks I am the one for her. On my side, I wish we could have spent much more time together for me to decide. Skype is good, but it doesn't make a man marry.
From my point of view, I do love her a lot. However I feel like everything leads to an imminent break up somehow. So I would like to hear your thoughts about it. What would you have done in my position?
|
My 30 years old GF's visa is expired and she wants to marry so that we could live together. I am 23 years and do not feel ready to commit yet, knowing that have mostly lived a Long distance relationship.
|
t3_2bd8s5
|
relationships
|
My (24M) girlfriend (26F) keeps asking me to break up with her. What should I do?
|
So here's the thing. We have been together for 6 years now. About 5 months ago, I moved to a different city when I was offered the job I was looking for. We have been in a long distance relationship since. For almost a year, she's been very frustrated with her career and her life going nowhere. I do give her all the moral support I can but she keeps telling me that I'm not there for her when she needs me. We have very different aspirations. I want to travel the world and experience different cultures and she wants a very specific job with the government which would mean that we'll spend a lot of time apart in the coming years. Lately, she's been very depressed and keeps asking me to break up with her. Everytime I end up convincing her that it's the depression talking. But this just won't stop. I don't even know if she really means it or just does it to get my attention. How should I deal with this situation?
|
My girlfriend of 6 years keeps asking me to break up with her and I don't know if she means it. Help!
|
t3_245bdf
|
relationships
|
GF[24F] descirbed me [23M] as a "cold" person in general. How to improve?
|
Hello.
So today me and my GF sat around talking about peoples behaviour, how we see people and so on. I asked her how she saw me in general and she told me "You can be a very cold person. You have a attitude that says come to me, but not closer" was her description of me.
She also told me I can be very manipulative, so good at it that it sometimes freaks her out when she notices it.
She also thought I almost totally lacked empathy.
However, we have been togeather for 4 years and she also told me I am the most caring person she knows. That I care more that others feel great than that I feel great. I always help out people in need and I never really ask for anything in return. (She brought up an example of when I got sick. So sick that I needed 911 and I passed out in my own vomit but I didnt call for 911 nor my GF because I didnt want to ruin her first night out for months).
It kinda freaked me out as I don't see myself that way. I see myself as someone who has extremtly hard to express myself and I never express joy or sadness. Like if I get a gift I really like I'm like "Thanks" without any expression. However, I can be happy on the inside.
If someone around me dies, I can be sad but I don't cry or mourne the dead. I'm more like "That sucks. She does not want me to be sad so let's move on, no need to be sad over something I can't change".
So Reddit. How do I know if I am that way she really descripts be? Because it sounds like I'm some kind of heavy narcassist person. Cold, manipulative and lacking emphaty.
How can I improve and learn how to express myself betteR?
|
GF describes me as a cold, manipulative empahty lacking person. How can I know if it's true and how can I improve?
|
t3_43h814
|
relationships
|
My [29F] husband's [31M] jealousy is severely damaging our relationship. Does anyone have any advice or experience on helping someone overcome extreme jealousy?
|
Husband and I have been together since highschool. We have kids and generally have fun together. Like any relationship we have some problems, but the biggest is definitely his jealousy.
He has always been extremely jealous, but as the years go on his jealousy keeps getting worse. In the last couple of years it has become out of control. He is now to the point where he has begun getting upset if I wear clothing that makes me look too good or if I do anything without him where other men might be involved (e.g. a co-ed exercise class), and even when it's just all girl activities.
It is infuriating for me. I have never been unfaithful to him, but I feel like everything I do is under a microscope. We communicate about it. He knows this is a major problem for me. He hates that he is that way, but also defends it as being part of who he is. He doesn't want me to do anything without him ever. I feel like I have missed out on quite a bit of my young adult life bc of this. It's not that I am forbidden or anything, I just most often choose to not even bother making plans bc I would rather avoid a fight.
I've grown so tired of it. I've begun feeling quite resentful toward him and enjoy the freedom that comes when he has to travel. I don't like feeling this way. I love my husband and am hoping for some advice on how to help him overcome his jealousy before it completely poisons our relationship.
I just want to include a quick note: I know a lot of people point to the fact that most jealous people are that way bc of their own infidelities, but I am 100% confident that this isn't the case with him. He has also never been unfaithful and doesn't seem to even have a healthy interest in other women (or is at least very respectful of me and refrains from commenting in my presence). He doesn't even watch porn.... which now makes me feel like I need to include another note: he has a VERY healthy sex drive.
Any advice is wholeheartedly appreciated.
|
How can I help my husband overcome his jealousy?
|
t3_e3mtc
|
AskReddit
|
I really don't know where else to turn at this point.
|
Basic Summary: 27, male, jobless, living in a town with no opportunity.
I have no idea what I'm doing or trying to accomplish with this post. Hopefully someone might take pity on me and offer to help me out.
I live with my parents in order to help out my disabled mother who lost her job 7 years ago and has since developed serious bone deterioration in her legs. I do what I can do to help her out since she's been the only solid rock in my life.
The town that I live in is near the site of the BP oil spill and whenever the jobs came around for that there wasn't too many local companies hiring since most of the work was outsourced. There aren't any jobs here for someone like me as I am not the kind of person that's cut out for the serious physical labor that occurs in this part of Louisiana.
I've been employed by several companies here, doing mostly rigging, fork lift work and driving a boat. The best job I've ever had was delivering pizza in the New Orleans area, it was something that I can say I was truly good at.
Reddit, I don't know what to do, again. I'm so anxious at this point that it feels like my skeleton is about to jump out of my skin. I feel like a complete failure as a human being and that I've done nothing to contribute to society.
So I guess to make a long story short, I need a job. I'm willing to do anything at this point. I'll give anything a shot. I have reliable transportation and I'm willing to travel anywhere in the area. I need to feel self worth. I need to feel like I've accomplished something at the end of the day.
Thanks for reading my rant.
|
welcome to the pity party, byob.
|
t3_121gao
|
AskReddit
|
If your boyfriend watches excessive porn, is it cheating? Here is my dilemma..
|
Lately, for shits an giggles ill scroll through my boyfriends history to see if I can maybe find some research of presents for me or things he may want for Xmas, and almost every friggin time I do it there's a insanely large amount of porn in his history, for hours ! I've never said anything and I always brush it off. But once again today I purposely looked for the porn and it was there and it was the last straw. I left his place immediately and haven't returned his calls or texts. We have SO much sex and he claims to be statisfied, and were together almost everyday. So why the need for excessive porn? I can't help but feel like I'm not good enough and I've been crying over it.
|
how do I bring this up to him ? I don't want to break up but I don't think I can deal with this. Am I over reacting?
|
t3_2pnyu6
|
relationships
|
Me [22F] with my sister [20F], keeps prioritising her boyfriend over me
|
My sister decided to come to the same university as me, where she has since met her current boyfriend. The other day we went out for my birthday and the two of them had an argument which meant all of our friends leaving to follow the two.
When we got back to her boyfriends house they were arguing while in the mean time I was feeling extremely ill and had an ambulance called for me, and the whole time I was in the ambulance my sister nor her boyfriend once came downstairs to see how i was despite a friend telling them three times I was in an ambulance.
It's since been playing on my mind that her priority is her boyfriend, and that I mean very little to her.
What do I do, should I ignore it or say something to her?
|
sister argued with her boyfriend instead of being with me in an ambulance
|
t3_3nlct0
|
relationships
|
Me [23 M] with my GF [23 F] of over a year, I did a bad thing, but can't get over my own guilt on it.
|
This probably sounds extremely self-centred, and it is I guess, but I can't get over the fact I did something like this.
Basically I was on a night out with friends, without my girlfriend, and I ended up dancing with a girl (a stranger) to try and wingman a friend of mine. She started dancing a little closer than should've been acceptable and tried to kiss me.
I was very very drunk (no excuse, I know) but managed to remember not to let her kiss me (thank god) but I did let her continue to dance with me much closer than is acceptable.
I told my girlfriend about this - though maybe understated exactly how close we were dancing - and obviously she was very upset etc, but she's forgiven me.
I just don't know how to deal with this myself. I never realised I was one of those guys who could do something to betray her trust. I feel like such an asshole, I'm not sure how to stop beating myself up over this, and don't think I deserve to stop to be honest!
Just basically any thoughts on this, any help or advice, or even just any discussion would be appreciated.
|
Was disrespectful to my girlfriend in the way I acted, nearly cheated on her, can't get over it.
|
t3_23wg61
|
relationships
|
I'm moving out with my 21M friend, he's getting the bigger bedroom with the en-suite and I'm getting the smaller double, even though he said he'd let me have it.
|
When we went to look at this place he initially said that he didn't mind if he had the smaller bedroom as I have the GF and a piano to move in there.
He apparantley got a phone call from the letting agent who told him that he'd be paying more rent - we don't know how much as we haven't signed the contracts yet.
So as a result he's been joking / can't tell laughing that he's getting the bigger bedroom. I tried to talk to him about it like I would be prepared to pay him the extra + more for the bigger bedroom as it kinda means a lot to me having been in a tiny room all my life.
He didn't say much back just jokes, and has now joked about it to his friends finding it funny. It's really starting to piss me off though, and I know that if back out of all of this I'm going to loose a really good friend. :(
|
Friend told me I could have bigger bedroom, turns out he's paying more rent so said he's getting it instead, won't talk about it, haven't signed contracts yet.
|
t3_4gbuwz
|
relationships
|
My [17M] am deciding between colleges and wondering how much I should value my year long relationship with my GF [17F]
|
I [17M] am picking between colleges this week and I'm currently deciding between a private school in SoCal which is ranked extremely highly and my state school which is good as far as public schools go but clearly a tier below the private school.
I have dated my girlfriend [17F] for over a year and we are as close as can be, spending every day with each other and never fighting. I am positive that I could not be happy without her and she could not be happy without seeing me.
I am a really good student and know that I would do well at either of these schools. I have gotten advised by my parents and many adults that my education is more important than my high school relationship which I agree with, but living 1000+ miles away would be incredibly hard on both of us. I've been thinking about it for the last two weeks and know that every night would be a struggle and I don't know if it would be worth it to go so far away.
The state school would be an hour drive and in two years my gf is planning on going there. Can someone give me advice on what I should think about and how to make this decision?
|
I have to decided between a good school far away from my girlfriend and a close school which is slightly worse. I need advice on how much to value my strong relationship when making the decision.
|
t3_4lcxen
|
relationships
|
My [18M] girlfriend [18F] of 7+ months has seemed distant the last few weeks but insists nothing is wrong, advice?
|
This is really my first actual post since I've been more of a lurker in my short time as a redditor, but I figured I'd give a post a shot (on mobile so I apologize if something is misspelled or something)
My girlfriend and I have been dating for the past 7 months, it is both of our first serious relationships and we've been genuinely happy for most of the time. We've literally never argued, and we've always known what each other expects from one another so we've never really had a reason to argue.
About 3 weeks ago, I could tell something had changed in her. Her texts (we text every day for pretty much the whole day) had gotten shorter and less interested and provoking conversation, and when we'd see each other in person she'd turn her back to me in school and rarely say much. If we were together on a date or at one of our houses she'd stay on her phone most of the time and not really try to talk much.
About 4-5 days after she became like this she apologized and said "she had a lot on her mind" and when I asked for her to talk to me about it or how I can help she continuously said she "needs to figure it out herself".
It's been, like I said, 3 weeks since she's been her normal self and still refuses to talk about it. I'm a strong believer that you don't need to say I love you to prove your love to someone but she hasn't said I love you since that day 3 weeks ago. I have looked at old messages and tried to figure out if there was something I said or did to make her so distant but nothing makes sense.
We are going to a concert this Saturday and if she continues to act this way I'm planning on bringing it up again and not taking "I don't know" as an answer to what's wrong. If you guys have any advice for me that'd be great, thank you Reddit.
|
My [18M] girlfriend [18F] of 7 months seems indifferent towards me and has been for the past 3 weeks.
|
t3_qq56z
|
AskReddit
|
What secret hobbies or interests do you have that you keep from people for fear of being ridiculed?
|
So two years ago back in my senior year of college I had to take a PE prerequisite in order to fulfill a GE requirement. Sadly, bowling was full and only 'latin dance' was available. I had no choice but to take it.
I loved it! And I even met this gorgeous girl that is still a close friend. However, after I graduated I never danced again. Recently, I was on Hulu and saw "Shall We Dance?" and that movie reignited my passion for Salsa, so I went out and signed up for dance lessons. It's mostly older guys and a few women but I am having such a blast!
The thing is, I would feel so embarrassed if my close friends were to find out. I know my fear is irrational since hot latin chicks love a man that can dance but I can't help but feel conscious about telling my friends or family, and so I keep it a secret.
So what hobbies or interests do you have that you keep to yourself?
|
I take salsa lessons. I LOVE IT but I feel I'd be emasculated amongst my friends if they ever found out!
|
t3_3d1xl2
|
dating_advice
|
Need advice on whether or not to get in touch with someone I dated on Tinder last year
|
I dated a girl on Tinder just before christmas last year and as far as I'm aware it went well, we got on naturally, it wasn't awkward and we both left with the intention to have a second date. However this was just before the Christmas break, both her and myself were going to be busy going home and seeing family/friends so scheduling another date was quite tricky to plan at this time of the year. We both kept in touch using WhatsApp and we messaged each other over christmas a few times just to stay in the loop. But as soon as the new year arrived I might have gotten too carried away at this point and asked her at any window of opportunity for a second date. To the point where she stopped messaging me completely.
Fast forward 8 months later and I still have her on my WhatsApp list, and to be honest I haven't had a decent date since dating her. I really thought we got on well and I really liked her. And apparently the government is going to shut down messaging programs like WhatsApp, iMessage and SnapChat in the next month here in the UK, so I thought I might take the opportunity to message her again one last time; ask how she is and mention if she is interesting in going on a second date if she's up for it.
I'm prepared for the worst case scenario on doing this, but I can't stop thinking about her. I just don't know if it's acceptable to do so.
|
Should a message a girl I dated once 8 months ago if I still have strong feelings for her and we had a decent first date which didn't go anywhere?
|
t3_1hq3x8
|
relationships
|
I'm[24M] hurting my [22/F] GF, i hate myself for it.
|
Hello sexxit !
Some backstory. We have been dating for 5 months so far, and its GREAT. We met on a party of our mutual friend, had sparks all around us the instant, got together 1 week later, spend a lot of time with each other since. As time goes on we get to know each better. Talkin about our past and future dreams. Telling what we are like.. i tell him what kind of person i am, what things are important for me. Talkin about how i respect ppl who are honest, even if they fail. There is so few true valuable character these days, in the age of money.
One day she tells me that she is so dsihonest. She cheated on every one of her BFs so far, even cheated her best girlfriend by sleeping with her BF, never telling any of em. telling me how ashamed she is, that she can never be the person i respect and love.
I told her, that she might not been the person i look up to, but she still can be.
I love her so much, i dont want her to feel bad about these stuff.
|
My GF feels like shes not the type of person i would love to date. She feels devastated.
|
t3_3umchh
|
relationships
|
My boyfriend's [19/M] comments about his own body are making me [18/F] uncomfortable
|
I don't think I need much background for this, but I'll give a little. My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year, we're semi-long distance (I'm away at university and he's at home working full time). We have a healthy sex life and a generally positive relationship.
But one thing is starting to really get to me. My boyfriend and I are both naturally hairy people. While I shave almost everything, he tends to keep his hair mostly natural. He trims his armpit and pubic hair in the summer for practicality reasons but otherwise doesn't do any maintenance or "manscaping".
However, he is very self conscious about his body hair. Particularly the hair in his pubic region and on his bottom. He often makes negative comments about how "disgusting" it is and won't listen to me when I tell him that I think his natural body hair is attractive and I'm totally okay with it.
These comments he's making about himself are staring to get to me. I've always been significantly hairier "down there" than the average woman. Hearing my boyfriend talk about how he thinks his own hair "down there" is so ugly makes me think that he dislikes my hair there too. I usually shave everything because I'm worried about how it will look otherwise, but I really don't want to. It's so bad that I get upset to the point of crying if he sees me and I haven't shaved in a few days.
He always tells me that he doesn't mind if I'm not totally shaved, and that it's never gotten to a point where he'd be bothered by it. But it makes me very self conscious that there would be a point like that for him at all, especially since I love and accept his body exactly how it is. It makes me feel really ugly and undesirable, especially because I fear that he'll think the same things about me that he does about himself if I don't shave my body hair.
I don't know what to do about this. I'm sorry if this is a little unclear but I guess I just want to know what I can do about this situation, if there even is anything to do about it at all.
|
Boyfriend's comments about how he thinks his own body hair is disgusting make me feel incredibly self conscious about my own body hair and what I do about it.
|
t3_3ierx5
|
relationships
|
[22M] Concerned with with My GF's [21F] Weight. Worried About Loss of Attraction. Long Term Relationship
|
Hi guys,
This is my first post, on my throwawayish account cause sensitive subject... (don't judge too hard on my username!)
So essentially I'm worried that I'm losing attraction to my gf because she's gained some weight over the last year and a half. And I brought it up a year ago, and it wasn't addressed. Additionally, I'm a skinny guy and 6 ft.
As a background, we've been going out for 3 years and I love her to death! When I met her I was instantly attracted to her personality, sense of humor and the fact that she could hold an intelligent convo. She also had a very good figure.
Almost 3 years in, we're still going strong, but I am concerned with her appearance. She has gained a bit of weight and is a little overweight. This has happened over the last year and 1/2. I gingerly brought it up to her last year and she just broke down, got mad at me and said she'd work on it. So I felt like shit, and kinda let it go. But now after that time, she put on even more weight. Also, I've noticed she doesn't exercise that much and eats a lot of sweets...
But now I don't know what to do. I feel like a dick because I don't want to end the relationship down the road if I lose more attraction to her, that's kinda shitty. This has affected my self esteem a little cause I feel like I'm a bad person and stuff. How should I bring this up? And I know attraction isn't everything, but at the same time, I'm in the prime of my life and want to be with someone with a good figure before I have to settle down and grow old. Additionally, I probably wouldn't get engaged or something down the road if she were overweight.
What should I do?
|
Worried losing attraction to gf cause weight gain, don't want to end relationship down the road if future trends continue.
|
t3_3x9biy
|
relationships
|
Me [29 F] with my boyfriend [31 M] of 3 months, just had our first fight and not sure if I should go back
|
So about 2 weeks ago I lost my job and I am living with my sister. I have not been able to find a job in the city where she lives so I decided to go back with my parents who live in another city. That's the background.
I told my boyfriend after I lost my job that I would go back to my parents if I couldn't find a job cause she doesn't have a lot of extra money to support me. He said no worried we will work it out.
So 3 days ago I still have no job and tell him I am going to be with my parents. He said no problem and gave me a small gift. And that was it.....
I get my parents that night and call him and we talk like nothing is wrong but then I say, you didn't want me to stay? He flips out and says I don't have eto deal with your shut my ex used to say the same things I am not a mind reader how was i supposed to know you wanted to stay.
I hang up and just cry. I didn't speak to him the whole next day and then yesterday he drove up to see me and I talked with him for a little while and it was all OK but then he asked me to come back. I told him I couldn't live with my sister and said come live with me.....
He left without me giving an answer. And now today he has been very sweet and kind but I am terrified I will trigger something else... I really like him and don't want to hurt him but I am just to scared to live with him but don't want to break up.
I guess I just want to know what someone else has done in my similar situation. Cause I want to go but am afraid of it ending in something awful.
|
boyfriend was sweet but yelled/cursed at me. Should I go back, he is begging me and I still like him.
|
t3_12jgou
|
relationships
|
Do I (F22) want to be married to my husband (M23)?
|
My feelings change all the time. I'm prone to depression and that is really confusing my feelings. I feel like I'll never be truly happy in my relationship, and that it was created out of convenience. We've been married for 2 years, in a relationship for 3.5 years.
My husband is severely lazy, spends his time smoking weed which I paid for while he wasn't working, and playing video games.
We don't like to do the same things, except for be lazy on the couch.
I've cheated on him, but never did it again because I was truly felt it was wrong and cowardly to do that.
I never felt anything for him. We met at a party, hooked up, and stayed together ever since because we're both co-dependent.
Most of the time when we have sex, i don't feel anything emotionally. I spend most of my time trying to pretend like I enjoy it.
I generally feel like we could stay together for ever, but it wouldn't be fair to either of us. I don't feel like I have a legitimate reason to get a divorce, other than my fleeting feelings. I feel like my depression is a big factor on my relationship, but on the other hand, my depression might be stemming FROM my relationship.
Lately I find myself wishing that he would cheat on me so I'd have a reason to leave.
Any advice? I don't even know what to think anymore.
|
I'm not sure that I ever wanted my marriage.
|
t3_2m9asm
|
relationship_advice
|
She NEVER texts first or contacts me when she says she will
|
I have been seeing this girl on and off for a long time, but the only reason it goes on and off is because I will leave her with the perfect opportunity to text me first and she never does. When I am texting her she seems really into me and talks to me for hours on end and whenever we do meet up it goes really well! Today we were kind of flirting with each other via texting and I casually mentioned that me and some friends are going to the movies later and that she should come if she got off work early enough. She texted back smiley faces and all that she would let me know. 11:00 pm hits and she sends me a snapchat of her reading a book. -_-
This is the prime example of where I get thrown off just like several times before. I feel like if I text her I look needy because it was in her hands to text me. But then I get snapchats and I'm just like wtf am I supposed to do with that?
Should I ask her about it? I don't want to look crazy.
|
She seems really into me but will never text me when she is supposed too/text 1st
|
t3_2hat87
|
relationships
|
Me [29 F] with my Husband [32 M] together for 14 years, married 8, recently discovered he has a porn addiction that is threatening our family.
|
I always knew he was looking at porn but never wanted to be "that girl", until I found evidence that he's been soliciting sex acts online. He promises he's never followed through with these actions but at this point who knows. I have evidence that this has been going on for at least a year and a half so anything could have happened. He admits that the porn problem has been ongoing since he first discovered porn but has escalated in the past three years (since we gave up partying to have children). He's now masturbating upwards of 6 times a day, our sex life and other aspects of our marriage have totally fallen apart.
I am actually willing to support him in this addiction, to participate in some sort of 12 step program with the coinciding support group. (something like AA and Alanon) However, in the area I live in I can not find easily accessible support groups for family members of this particular addict. Let alone a secular group, we're atheists and some of the ultra christian anti porn groups are not going to work for me. We're both frequenting /r/nofap and /r/pornfree for advice but there doesn't seem to be any help for spouses.
I feel like I'm going insane, I have all of these conflicting emotions. I don't know what sort of boundaries are healthy to set in order to get him back in the house and eventually our bed. For some ridiculous reason all I can think about is sex and when will we be able to have it again? Does anybody have any advice? Success stories? Online support groups or forums?
Any questions please feel free to ask.
|
Discovered husband's porn addiction is threatening the monogamy of our marriage. I need help coping with my feelings as his spouse, while he seeks treatment of his own.
|
t3_dr8k8
|
jobs
|
Should I send a follow up / Thank You Email to my phone interviewer? If so, what are some things I should say?
|
Yesterday I had my phone interview for an IT position in a non-profit. I made the cut of 8 out of 125 possible applicants. According to the interviewer I seemed like the best candidate for the position judging from my resume.
Now I was the first one to reply to his email yesterday within 3 mins. (I get emails to my phone) He noticed that. I was also immediately available for phone interview. So we seemed to hit it off. He didn't ask as many technical questions as I thought he should have. When it came time for me to tell him why I was the best candidate for the job. I feel like I kinda stumbled on that question which should have been one of the easier ones. I also had no questions for him about the position. Normally I'm a firm believer of asking the employer questions. But again, I stumble on that one. So I'm wondering now should I send an email? I would like to make a significant impression. If so, how would you go about it?
|
I had a phone interview yesterday. It could have went better. Should I send a follow up / thank you email?
|
t3_3u54vi
|
relationships
|
*Update* Me [44F] with my very wealthy ex [44+ M] wants to meet up for "closure" years after we broke up.
|
Original
Since I blocked him, he's found and messaged my husband on FB. He told my husband that I just disappeared on him 15 years ago (not true) and he just wanted to meet and see how I was doing under the AA program.
That's a load of crock because he never mentioned anything to me about AA and that's not even how the letters go. Also does he think my husband and I don't speak? I guess once a liar, always a liar.
My husband had I blocked him on his FB but within an hour or so he'd created another FB account and message telling me I owed him a meeting, I was cold hearted, why couldn't I see that we were meant to be etc. I didn't respond, blocked him again and set my settings and husband's FB settings so that only friends and friends of friends could see or message us. I hadn't thought he'd act so swiftly and a it went to our other folder again.
I also sat down with my children, went through the importance of Internet safety, told them to never engage with a man with this name or similar and we all sat there and tightened security around out social media accounts. We'd had this discussion before when my oldest was 12 but thankfully schools are also clueing them in now.
My husband and I also posted a status update each, emailed and texted/Whatsapp etc our contacts to not give out any information about us to this guy, gave out usernames, snippets of messages etc and asked people not to add him. I've been getting a lot of supportive messages back so far.
I'll be visiting the police later today as well. I bet they can't do anything but at least they'll be some kind of record.
|
Ex tried to contact me and my husband via another FB account.
|
t3_17ewm3
|
loseit
|
HUGE NSV, but epic fail for weight goal and starting MyFitnessPal, help?
|
So today I ran my first half marathon! I finished at 2:39:10 and could not be more happy. I even signed up for my next one and hope to get my time down to 2:35:) (I have exactly 3 months til race day!)
On to the loseit relevancy though. I started losing weight last May 1st and I started at 168lbs. I'm a 5'4"/21 female for reference. By mid-June I was 150, but then I plateued all summer. Honestly I just maintained after going through a lot of other changes it was hard to focus on weightloss.
After school started I tried to get back into it and that's when I signed up for the race I did today. I realized quickly though that I couldn't do it on my own so I signed up for a personal trainer at 24 hour fitness and had my first session on Halloween.
My trainer is absolutely amazing. He has completely changed my life (basically saved it) and now I work out daily and log my calories religiously. However, I have no idea what happened but I didn't lose ANYTHING this month. I went back and forth between 138-137 a couple times but that's definitely not where I wanted to be.
Due to financial reasons I can no longer afford my trainer. This Tuesday is my last session and since last week he has been preparing me for being on my own.
He told me that I should start a myfitnesspal account (I did, it's msbagginses) but I'm nervous. I have a hard time planning out my food with just focusing on calories as it is. I feel like trying to manage carbs/protein/fat on top of that is setting me up for failure. My free time is quickly diminishing as the quarter gets on and I'm preparing for graduation in June.
Does anyone have tips/tricks to help me understand MyFitnessPal? Also, I can't cook. Like at all. I'm trying to learn but recipes just freak me out and I end up screwing something/everything up.
|
Lost 30lbs, plateaued all month, new-ish runner, need MyFitnessPal help. I feel like a lost cause and I'm way too scared to not have my trainer anymore:(
|
t3_u9k4t
|
loseit
|
NSV: Turning a corner
|
Gday fellow r/loseit members. Not quite sure if this fits here or somewhere else, but everything ties in to my loseit goals so I figured I would put it here.
Today I feel like I've truly turned a corner. After an absolutely depressing day where I was ready to give up, I actually made some progress. What did I do? I said fuck it, went for a jog and a long walk for over an hour to clear my head and I've never felt better.
I'm sick and tired of being the fat kid, the shy quiet guy, the guy who's always home. The guy with no confidence in himself. I'm done, I'm finally starting to realize I'm worth a shit.
I've dropped from just under 300lbs to 243lbs and feel like i've barely made any progess despite what the scale says. I'm ok with it though, I realize it's something I have to keep at and I will see progress. I've made it my personal goal to get under 200lbs before the end of the year, and the sooner the better. I WILL continue to go for jogs, go to the gym, or atleast do something EVERY NIGHT no excuses.
I will become more social, I will stop being the guy who spends his weekends at home by himself. I won't be the guy scared to go talk to random strangers. I will stop assuming people won't like me before talking to them. I will stop taking pity on myself, i'm worth a shit.
I'm sick and tired of not being happy with myself, I'm not going to let this follow me for the rest of my life.
|
Try Harder~~ **CHANGE!**
|
t3_47lz0i
|
tifu
|
TIFU by being clumsier than my usual clumsy self
|
This happened last week.
I was hungry one afternoon so I decided to make a sandwich. Got what's needed from the fridge, cooked some ham, put it in between two slices of bread together with some cheese, cut off the crusts, and put it on a plate. I set the knife aside, not minding where I placed it. The pointy end was on the kitchen counter and half of the handle was off the edge. Then I walked to the living room, placed the plate of sandwich on the couch, and then walked back to the kitchen to clean up. Being a klutz, my elbow somehow hit the knife handle and off it went into the air, somersaulting. And as if in a Final Destination movie, it landed on my foot with the pointy end down. Yes, I just stabbed my own foot. I saw a little bit of blood. So I panicked and hopped to my bedroom to do first aid.
When I got some bandaid on my wound (it wasn't that bad, thank goodness), I suddenly remembered my sandwich and I went back to the couch only to find out that the top bread was missing. I saw Bailey, my Shih Tzu puppy, looking guilty with the blasted bread in between its teeth. I had no choice but to give him the rest of the sandwich, sans the cheese, and just make a new one for myself, being more careful with the knife this time. I learned more than one lesson after that day.
|
Made a sandwich, ended up stabbing foot and not getting to eat that sandwich.
|
t3_3r585e
|
relationship_advice
|
(19/f) My boyfriend (20/m) looking up girls online?
|
Just to give you some background, my boyfriend and I have been dating for a year. He has never cheated on me or given me a reason not to trust him but in past relationships I have been cheated on and I have bad trust issues because of it. I moved recently and we are in a LDR.
I saw him this weekend and was on his phone at one point and decided to look at his instagram. I looked at his searches because I've noticed before that he checks up on a specific ex's instagram. It made me feel terrible because I feel like you wouldn't have any need to check up on an ex unless you still had lingering feelings for them. It also bugs because his ex constantly posts pictures of herself half naked.
His searches this time actually showed he looked up a bunch of girls, all of them he has dated before or hooked up with. I wasn't even in the list of searches lol. ALL of these girls are really attractive and post a lot of revealing pictures of themselves also. This made me feel horrible.
I feel like I'm not good enough. I feel like he's looking at this pictures of exes in a sexual way (I mean how could he not! the pictures are scandalous haha). Is he getting off to them?! He never really likes me to look at his phone and I think this is why. I almost want to break up with him over this, being cheated on before has burned me so bad that feeling like someone doesn't have eyes for only me makes me want to pull away fast.
Am I overreacting or do I have a right to be upset? I'm looking for advice on what I should do now.
|
Saw my bf's searches on instagram and he looked up a bunch of girls who he has dated or hooked up with before. These girls all happen to post lots of slutty photos. This really hurt me and I don't know what to do now.
|
t3_4bo1q5
|
relationships
|
My [15F] family are becoming more conservative Muslims and I hate it.
|
We're a Muslim family (although I don't know if I believe, but that's how I was brought up). Religion was never a big part in our lives. Marriages, funerals, some celebrations, that was it. For all intents and purposes we were living as non-religious people and it was great.
Since about two years ago it's all changed. My parents somehow found religion again and decided that we should become a more pious family. Do there's been a slow transition towards being more religious and more socially conservative and I don't like it at all. It feels like our lifestyles has changed so massively that I don't feel like I'm at home anymore.
They want me to dress very modestly. Cover my hair, long sleeves, long pants and very loose clothes outside. They want me to limit my interactions with all boys including my friend at school. They want me to only eat halal meat, pray on time five times every day, fast during Ramadan (which is in less than three months), read the Quran every day, come to the mosque at least twice every week, stop listening to music and watching movies or shows that they consider immodest (pretty much all of them), become active in mosque's program for teens and make friends there instead of being friends with my friends at school.
I don't like this at all. I don't know why they want me to act this way. If they want to do all of these they can do it themselves but why should I do it? How can I convince them to let me live my life the way I want to?
|
Parents have become more religious and want me to be like that too. I hate that lifestyle.
|
t3_1iaja9
|
dogs
|
My terrier mix has very fragile skin and constantly has scabs.
|
We adopted a 3-5 year old terrier mutt in October last year. He was skinny, scared, had bad dandruff, and was the sweetest dog.
Since then he's been on salmon Taste of the Wild food, fish oil, and a dollop of yogurt for food. He's been evaluated as perfectly healthy by the vet, with possible mild allergies. He sometimes licks his front legs, but the vet thinks it might be stress/habit and not truly allergies. He doesn't irritate the skin or get hotspots or anything.
So on to the 'problem.' He has skin that tears very easily. He constantly has scrapes and scabs on his chest, legs, and paws. He's also been in several altercations with dogs, and come out of it looking like a mangled mess requiring stitches, even though the fight wasn't that rough. He also still has some mild dandruff. My vet doesn't really have any ideas and he's a terrier with a Napoleon attitude and high energy.
None of this bothers him at all, it just bothers me as I pet him and find a ton of little scabs and cuts.
Any ideas on prevention or supplements that might help? He reminds me of my friends' greyhounds that cut easily, but they're so low energy it's rarely a problem.
|
Middle aged terrier mix has fragile skin. What do?
|
t3_4tsr3h
|
tifu
|
TIFU by tickling my boyfriend.
|
Yesterday, my SO and I were having fun and started wrestling. I decided to take him down in a shady way: tickling. It's his one weakness. I manipulated my way on top of him. As I sat on his chest, I pinned his arms down with my knees. This is where my fuck up started. He gave me several and I mean several warnings not to tickle him or I would regret it. Did I listen? No. I was too focused on winning, I had to win. I started to tickle him and it happened. He started fighting the tickling. He flung his head forward and then we heard a crack, I yelped and fell over onto the floor. He had slammed his head into my pelvic bone causing his nose to break. There was blood and tears (tears mostly from me). We spent the afternoon in the emergency room but we can't stop laughing at it now. He isn't letting me live this one down.
|
tickled my boyfriend, he resisted, headbutted my pelvis, broke his nose.
|
t3_4wot45
|
relationships
|
I (32/m) am getting fed up with my long time friend (34/m) Due to his women hating!
|
I have been friend with this guy for a long time. Last few years, he had been nothing but very hateful toward women. He would occasionally bring it up but, he usually shut up after he saw that no one wants to listen to him whining about women.
He always talks about how women have impossibly high standard and all that crap. Yet he broke pretty much every dating rules in the book! Such as he'd wait way too long to show ant interest in girls that by the time he makes a move, the girl had already lost interest in him for quite a while.
Also, his favorite subjects are bathroom humor and farting. This nearly cost him many friendships include mine because no one wants to hear him talk about those subject. Unfortunately, he will bring it up to any new person he met almost instantly. So no wonder he is driving women away.
Even if he can keep those subjects to himself, all he did is talk and talk and talk about himself! You could literally be bawling your eyes out because your whole family died in a fire and he'd be like "oh what is wrong?... I see... Oh! Just so you know today I..."
After a long period of not talking to him, I talked to him today. It was awful! As soon as I bring any subject up, he would take every chance at twisting it into women hating subject!
I'm on verge of telling him I am done with being his friend and sick of hear him talk bad about women 24/7!
Is there a way to fix this?
|
My long time friend had become a women hater and now want to talk about nothing but putting women down. I'm tired of this!
|
t3_1reand
|
relationship_advice
|
I [24M] found out recently that this girl [26F] has deep issues with trusting guys. Not sure how to proceed.
|
I met this girl a little over a month ago through a friend. She was at a party at my place (Miami), we ended up sleeping together after coming home from the bars. She was quiet and shy, which initially was a turn-off, but the more time we spent together, the more she opened up, and the more endearing I found her shyness. We continued to hook up (sober) and went on dates and whatnot. Fast-forward to now: I will be in England until the end of Feb. for a work assignment. On my last night with her (Friday), she was very different and withdrawn. When I pressed her about it, she said that all of her relationships have been shit. I'm "the only guy she's been with who's treated her like a person." She has a general distrust of guys. I have completely fallen for this girl. After that talk, I feel like dating her is going to be bad news, but I'm not really sure where to go from here.
|
I completely fell for girl who has trust issues with guys. I want to date her, but I feel like this might be a huge mistake. Advice?
|
t3_2w260u
|
tifu
|
TIFU by making my boyfriend extremely upset.
|
This just happened a couple hours ago.
My boyfriend and I are in a serious relationship. We have been dating for 6 months and we plan to move in together this summer.
We were texting tonight and we talked about what I want my career to be and how I owe my recent college money and can't go back until it's paid off. My boyfriend said that maybe we shouldn't move in right away because he cares more about me getting into school again. I get upset over things that don't go my way very easily so I started to think that he doesn't want to move in at all. He then suggests that we should discuss more important things over text and get to know each other more in our spare time than have sex all the time. I agree with him 100%. In that moment, though, I was so upset that he was saying what I thought was negative things about our relationship that I reply " what other problems do you have with me?'
He was hurt SO bad by that and I didn't mean for it to hurt him. It was too late,though.
He hasn't texted me back for around 3 hours. I tried calling him but it went to voicemail so either his phone died, which happens a lot, or he turned it off. I have sent quite a few messages explaining how sorry I am and how I didn't mean to hurt him. I told him how much I love him and asked how I can improve myself for him and our relationship. I just don't know if it's good enough this time. All I know is that I can not loose my best friend.
|
sent a really hurtful message to my boyfriend and it could possibly break us up.
|
t3_28wy7i
|
relationships
|
Me [30M] with my lady [35F] 4yrs and my mother (60) childcare arguments and guilt.
|
My little girl is 21 months old. She's our whole world. We both work full time and also do a lot of work at home. My mother looks after my girl one day a week. Occasionally (like once/month) mistakes are made. Minor ones like not making her nap for long enough or letting her eat something with sugar. One time she had her nappy on backwards. Not so mibor but not the end of the world for a toddler.
We both agreed when she was born that we'd make a superhuman effort with our princess including diet. I pick my girl up from my mothers after work and get the report for the day on eating etc... I then pass this info to my partner. When my mother makes tge slightest mistake my partners reacts by hitting the roof and makes my mother out to be a danger to our daughters health.
Ive just had to talk to my mother about the issues who was gracious but hurt about the situation. Then to top it off, whole i tried to keep the tears in my partner did something else to light my fuse so i just left for the night and im simmering down over a beer (i hardly ever go out these days).
This is the first time i've had to resort to leaving the house in response to my own emotional state.
Dont know what to do. Generally my partner loses her shit over (what most sane folks might agree to be) trivial sillyness, but i respect her right to be fussy
It's even charming... until she attacks family. Then i'm in a position where I have to side with someone.
And yes, my daughters position in all of this is central. I do not want my daughter to miss out on her relationship with her granny.
|
Grandmothers care for my daughter isnt good enough by my partners standards causing a divide. And i have to handle it.
|
t3_2b80g3
|
relationships
|
Me [25 M] with my girlfriend [21 F] of 3 months, I'm having issues with her past relationships.
|
Hey there. My current girlfriend just referred her ex to me for a website, and I'm willing to do it. However, her and I spoke of her past in great depth where she went through a "naughty" year or so. Slept around, partied, drugs, etc; and I've gotten over that, or so I had thought.
She let me know within the first 30 seconds of our phone call, that her and this guy had a month long or so relationship. This was after her party days, about 8 months ago (the partying was about 2 years ago.)
She assured me when we first started dating that she didn't sleep with anyone too quickly, that I was "an exception", and that she always took her time getting to know someone before engaging in intimate activities. However, she told me that she slept with this guy - and for some reason this bugs me. Not the sex, but the fact that if I was "an exception" why does it seem that I'm really not. How do I get over this immaturity on my end?
|
Current girlfriend referred an ex of hers to me for freelance work. She said that never slept with anyone quickly, but she told me she slept with him and they only dated for a month.
|
t3_1dboce
|
dating_advice
|
Help me sort this out please! [16F] and [16M]
|
I'm a 16 year old girl, who's been hanging out with this awesome guy since January. We get along great and share a lot of common interests. We hang out every so often at school, and at least once a week outside of school since we've been talking, we also text ~5 days out of the week. However, I'm unsure of where our relationship/friendship stands.
When we see each other, we tend to talk for hours about pretty much anything and everything, and we have a great time. Smiles and laughter are very common. Both of our groups of friends are convinced that there's something going on, and I think he likes me, I certainly like him. About a month after we started talking, we were walking around the city on a weekend and he says "I don't have time for a relationship." almost completely out of the blue. (He is really busy, with a lot of extracurriculars and AP courses) I had already asked him if he wanted to go on a date, and he accepted, but hey, no big deal, I just like talking to the guy.
However, we still hang out just as often as before and nothing has changed, leaving me confused about what's going on in this situation. He walks me home whenever we go anywhere at night, took me to a quinceñera because his parents wanted to meet me, and kisses me on the cheek and hugs me when he says goodbye. He also got me a rare comic book about my favorite super hero for my birthday! (Probably insignificant, but it made my month!) I could be reading too much into this, but I still feel that he likes me. Should I bring the topic up again and try to find out if a relationship could work, or let sleeping dogs lie and continue to hang out in psuedo-relationship limbo?
|
Great friends with this guy who seems to like me but has no time for a relationship and is sending me mixed signals. Should I bring up the topic of a relationship or let it go and move on?
|
t3_1g3a8m
|
relationships
|
BF (M24) is lying to me (F21)
|
Boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years...we have had some really rough times but have always persevered because we really care for each other. Well during a rough patch a couple months ago, he told me how he had drunkenly exchanged numbers with girl he met who lives in his building. He showed me texts from her where she said how hot she thinks he is and all this other crap about them hanging out. I told my BF that their relationship made me extremely uncomfortable and asked him to respond to the text she sent him about hanging out saying that he has a girlfriend and it would be inappropriate. He wouldn't, saying it was awkward but he told me he would stop responding to her. Since then we have been much better, and i have periodically asked him about her and if they have been talking and he always said no.
Well last night he was showing me pictures of his weekend away at the cottage on his phone and he got a text from her saying "no goodnight cigarette?". This was the only text in their chat history so obviously he has been deleting their text conversations. I confronted him and he kept lying to me, trying to cover his butt with lame excuses so I stormed out and broke up with him. He followed me home and we talked, where he admitted they had been texting and snap chatting this whole time and he had been deleting her messages.
he says he liked the attention and he was very afraid to have all his eggs in one basket, but it was just friendly between them. He says he realizes what a big idiot he has been and doesn't want to lose me - he promises change and improvement (I have heard this before though)
I am so heartbroken and disappointed. This is not the first time i have caught him lying to me. There is no trust anymore.
We are supposed to leave to go on vacation together in 2 days. Tickets already paid for. Please give me some advice/talk some sense into me.
|
BF is a liar. Should I even bother?
|
t3_mcg64
|
AskReddit
|
My summer full-time job STILL hasn't paid me. What do I do, now it's getting stupid.
|
Hey guys!
To cut a long story short, I'm in a mess here. I'm 15, UK, and I had a full-time job in the summer. I wasn't doing mindless paperwork, I was working on websites for their clients, as well as the companies website itself.
However, the company itself still has not paid me for my work. They owe me £100. It may not seem much, but it will be the first time I have properly earned over £40 from working.
How can I get them to pay me? They denied that I had to sign things when I ask, such as insurance information, and I have no record of working there, sadly, so I doubt there will be any logical way out of this. I have got no reply from emails, nor have my parents.
Also, I was working from 8:45-5:30, £2.50 an hour, working on their clients websites, which they literally pounded work on me with. My parents enquired about increasing the wage, but they could have just said "fuck you". What would you have seen as a decent wage for what I was doing?
|
I got screwed over by my summer work placement, and I'm out £100 with little-to-no documents/proof of working there.
|
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.