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t3_4frodg
relationships
My (20 F) dad's ex wife (56 F) is withholding an heirloom of mine
So, basically, my dad (lets call him Dave) left his wife (lets call her Karen) of over a decade for a much younger woman this summer. I moved into my own little apartment, and took most of my stuff with me. My dad is living abroad with his new gf, and I do not have access to his old house. The one thing he didn't get for me when I was moving my stuff out was a very, very expensive heirloom my grandmother left me at her death. Long story short, I called Karen and left a message on the voicemail that I needed to pick up a few things from the house because I am moving away from the city soon. She never got back to me. I spoke with the family accountant and asked her to pass alone the message. When I visited the accountant, she had a bag of my stuff for me. She said Karen had dropped it off, and told her that "She can contact me directly, no need to go through you." Okay, so I wrote her a Facebook message basically explaining that I needed to get my heirloom as I am moving. I saw that she had 'read' the message, and then she blocked me!! I'm getting seriously fed up with this and I don't know what to do next. I can't just show up at the house because there's a large chance she simply won't open the door. My dad is out of the country and I know no mutual friends who can help. What the hell do I do?
Dad dumps wife, wife withholds expensive heirloom from me. What do?
t3_ynlpp
personalfinance
Need to get car insurance, where do I start?
Hello /r/personalfinance, I've been driving my parents 2007 Dodge Caliber while I'm in college and now they want me to buy it off them to save them money as I would be paying for my own car insurance. This won't be at all of a problem because I am working, school is payed for through scholarships, and my apartment is covered by scholarships and by my grandpa. If it matters here is a little back ground... * Currently my parents are paying roughly $1000 a year for my insurance * AAA auto insurance currently * 2007 Dodge Caliber with 105,000 miles on it * I'm 19, have been insured and driving since I was 15 and a half * have gotten a discount on my insurance for good grades * have never gotten a ticket * 1 accident which I was not given a ticket for in December 2010
Where do I start looking for car insurance? Is there any harm in getting quotes online? What companies would you recomend looking into?
t3_17ldy5
relationships
What is a great way to propose?
I [25m] am looking for an amazing way to surprise my girlfriend [24f] of **6 years.** I'm kind of a helpless romantic and she knows this so i don't want to go the traditional route with my proposal.... and lets not mention money, which is a tough subject for everyone now a days. Anyways, she is a great girl and amazingly beautiful. Quirky, dorky and very much this reddit-er's dream girl. She is a nerd like myself and loves trying anything new. I am looking for unique fun ideas. I even tried getting on the show "Mobbed," which never emailed me back. :(
I need your help to make this a proposal for the books!!! She deserves it!
t3_3f6icc
relationships
I'm [25M] confused with the situation with my very long term(Ex?)Girlfriend [21F] - Help!
My girlfriend wanted to take a break with me out of the blue a month ago because we were getting too comfortable with our relationship, she said it's primarily because she didn't have a chance to find herself because of our long term relationship (4 years). During the course of the relationship I provided her with everything from money to homework help - but I felt that her reasoning was fair since she is still pretty young. I backed off, moved out, and didn't really speak to her for the month and let her do her own thing. Last week she began texting me and we met up for dinner to catch up. I could feel the spark between us being reignited and played it cool without rushing into anything. On the weekend we met up again for dinner and everything went well but at the end of the night we ended up having sex. She told me she missed me and loved me but didn't want to rush into things so soon because she liked that it feels like we're starting fresh. I said I agreed and told her I'd rather not get hurt or anything so we shouldn't rush things. I'm just confused though, I feel like I let my guard down so quick and it's making me feel insecure about how I showed my weakness to her with sex and telling her how I truly feel. I love her and want to be with her but not if shes going to leave me again. What are my options? Do I keep seeing her like this once or twice a week and just organically let this happen or do I tell her I'd rather not see her at all until she's ready? I dont care if she talks to other guys or anything but it's hard for me to get a clear answer from her.
Girlfriend wanted a break a month ago, we recently started talking and grabbing dinner, had sex and deep talk but now I feel insecure and unsure if she's serious about getting back together. Do I let things come naturally and risk getting hurt again?
t3_1kux5c
relationships
Im (20m) in a LDR with a girl (19f) and im starting to get worried.
I live in Canada where the girl im talking with lives in illinois. I met her about 5 months ago and we never stop talking. Every time we talk were always laughing and enjoying each others company. We talk all during the day while im at work. When i get home we always skype or video chat. I connect with her on many levels and ive never had that feeling with a girl before. We practically need eachother to fall asleep at night. Im worried because her mom is super protective and wont let her visit me. Which is understandable considering i met her online. Shes told her friends about me. But hasnt had any serious talks with her mom or even with her sister. Is there any advice on how she can open up to her family to make them try to understand how she feels for me? Sorry for any vagueness. Im just looking for some help. Any advice is greatly appreciated
Need advice to help my girlfriends mom warm up to the thought of her daughter have a LDR
t3_yxo2v
running
Struggling with a shoe decision
So a little back story first: Started running in 7th grade. Got pretty decent in high school, sub 18 min 5k and around a 2:05 800m. Got some scholarships to some small school but decided to pursue a different path and gave up running when I graduated high school. I'm now a junior in college and starting to get back into running. Currently at about 25-30 miles a week. I do a mixture of long runs and interval training. Hoping to eventually be able to run a half marathon and maybe one day a full marathon. But in the meantime I'm just working on getting my 5k time down (around 25 min. now would like to get it below 21 or 20) and tackle a couple 10k races. Now onto the shoe question. I pronate a little bit. I had a gate analysis at a local store and he said it was nothing serious. I am a heel striker (I think). I'm running in some crappy Nike shoes right now that leave my ankles, knees, and hips sore after every run. I tried on some Adidas Aegis 2 that were recommended and really liked them. However they are $125 at the store, and $107 on Zappos (prefer to buy at local store because they have a 30 day return policy if I realize I don't like them after a couple runs). A different local store has Kinvara 2's on sale for $80 and that price is much more appealing to me (broke college student, I really shouldn't be spending any money but I do need good running shoes bad). So should I just bite the bullet and get the Aegis? or should I be okay saving myself some money and getting the Kinvara? The guy who helped me at the running store said he wouldn't highly recommend the Kinvara but if I did get it I more than likely wouldn't have any issues with my running form. Or should I just say never-mind altogether and save myself quite a bit of money and keep running in my Nike;s?
trying to decide between Kinvara 2, Aegis 2, or saving myself some money and sticking with crappy Nike shoes I have now.
t3_3x8mxr
tifu
TIFU: By putting the Christmas presents in the car
So this happened about 5 minutes ago. My family put all our christmas presents in a spare room after they've been wrapped so there easy to organise. This year my girlfriend had also put presents in this room so we could take them with us on our trip, as she is joining us a few days after christmas. I went into the spare room to pack up the presents when I saw a return sticker lying underneath the pile. Having a quick glance I saw the phrase "c**k ring" and let out a laugh. I realised that it must be a present from my girlfriend as the date on the return slip matched the date that she received a parcel and, although a bit off a surprising choice, it wouldn't surprise me if she had bought something like this. Feeling instantly guilty I'd found out what one of my presents was, I gave her a quick message apologising for ruining the surprise but also quite glad that I had prevented anyone else seeing the return slip and joking about her leaving something like that lying in a room my family use. However my relief at avoiding a potentially awkward encounter quickly turned to horror when she replied that she had no idea what I was on about and that she hadn't bought anything like that for Christmas. That's when it hit me, it wasn't just our presents in the room. In a mad rush I ran out of the room, burnt the return slip and am now trying to forget that my childhood has been irreparably scared by trying to pack presents.
Tried to pack up christmas presents, instead found out one of my parents bought a ck ring.
t3_1vtgcm
relationships
24 YO guy. Lives at home with parents. When to move out?
I'm a 24 year old guy from Melbourne, Australia. I've finished uni and have a full time job. I'm single. Unlike most other countries around the world, us Aussies typically don't move out of home to go to uni - especially if you live near a city. All the major uni's are in the city. Hence, I've never moved out of home. Neither have most of people I grew up with. More and more lately I've been feeling like a guest in my parents home. This is not my parents doing. They are very loving and happy to have me. Perhaps I'm just insecure about it... When should I be looking to move out? I don't really see the logic in it since I'd move into a place really close to my parents house anyway. I work here and all my friends are here.
Lately been feeling like a guest is parents home. How old is too old to still be living at home?
t3_j4r3s
AskReddit
Fined $230 for marijuana possession in Vancouver?
my friend, who we'll name "John", was blazing up me and my buddies, around 5 of us. The cops came over, and asked John to open his bag and found 4 grams of pot and a switch knife. The knife was for his self defense/protection because he was mugged for his phone not too long ago. He got a ticket for $230 and was told he could not dispute it. They ticketed him for trafficking because they thought a person with 4g naturally had to be a dealer, which he is not. However, the cop who gave him the ticket was an absolute dick. When a girl wanted to get pass him (we were on a big rock near the beach), the cop told her to move all the way around him and get on the path instead of taking a step out of her way. Is there any way for John to NOT pay the ticket? would he get into any legal issues if he chose to dispute the ticket?
my friend was in possession of 4g of weed and accused him of being a dealer, and was in possession of a self defense weapon which he had because he was previously mugged. he was ticketed $230 and was told he could not dispute it. are there any ways to get around it?
t3_2xd3rn
relationships
My friend [28F] with her [31 M] 7 years. Bad break up with violence. What can I advise
I am going to cut a very long story short here and get to the point. A friend of mine has difficulty having children and was going for IVF with her previously violet husband. They have problems in relationship the where he vanishes for work for days at a time. A few months ago she had a PI follow him. The PI dug up that he had a g/f he had moved in with, she is pregnant to him and stays with her at the other home when not with her. Now 12 weeks pregnant, my friend confronted him over it and he beat her so bad she was in the hospital for 3 days and lost the baby. Police got involved and he was was charged with assult and will not be doing any time. I have difficulty giving words of comfort of knowing what to say to her. I assumed that similar stuff has happened with other people so I thought to ask for advise that makes sense here so I can talk her out of doing something stupid. In her mind, the broken rib and nose mean nothing but he has killed her baby and so she has put together a revenge plan which I cant repeat here and I am trying to talk her out of it.
Looking for help on where to point someone with a bad breakup and how to talk them out of more planned violence.
t3_36ivvl
tifu
TIFU by accidentally stepping on a termite nest while recovering a ball from a ruined building.
So, I'm having a little holiday at my uncle's. I was playing in the backyard with my little cousin when he "accidentally" threw a ball we were tossing around into an old, ruined half-wooden half-cement building that used to be a pigsty back when my grandparents were living there. I squeezed through a small opening and started to look around. I found the brightly colored ball lying in a corner and bravely started to make my way there. The building was basically cement walls + wooden ceileing, and it was also used as a storage for a while before it fell over, so I had to make my way through huge wooden planks and many other random things including old jam-jars etc. I finally arived and reached for the ball, when I tripped and fell back, gripping to the wall luckily. I was sure I broke a piece of old wood but to my horror I saw I was standing knee-deep in something that looked like a wasp nest. Then I realised I'm being swarmed by termites. I ran in horror, trying to go out of the building all while furiously trying to shake them of, fell a dozen times but finally managed to get out. I turned on the garden hose, took off my pants and uderpants and just splashed myself in ice-cold water, not giving a fuck that there is my cousin watching me in shock...
Tried to retrieve a ball from an old building, stepped into a termite nest and my cousin saw me naked because I was to shocked and terrified to think clearly.
t3_3279fr
offmychest
A few thoughts about death.
So, recently I've been thinking about death. Not about inflicting it on myself but what actually happens. Logic and science dictate to me that when our time has come, nothing happens, we literally go to sleep. Forever. And it bugs me. One day I will just, not exist. I won't see what happens in the future of all humanity, I will just be yet another... nothing! I just, won't be. I feel like we are all given a chapter in a book, which as life goes on, we read it more and more, getting others to fill in the good parts you've missed out on in previous chapters. But then you just get to the end of your chapter and that's it, there's no closure. They've opened hundreds of storylines which you just can't follow and it sucks. I just can't stand the idea of not reading the next chapter. Not seeing what Earth would become, not seeing what lives my children would lead, not being able to see how they are still able to market another f***ing Call Of Duty game successfully. How does this not bug you? How is this not at the front of your minds everytime you have some peace to think? The idea of not existing is terrifying. The idea that I could walk outside tomorrow or the next and some terrible accident happens which cuts my chapter short and I just wouldn't know it. I would never know it... All that I leave behind is a memory, but what does that mean in a world without me in it? I am the reference point, the only way I experience the world is through me and without me, Nothing I have done would matter. Uhh, Thank you for reading all that if you did ><
DEATH IS SCARY AND I DON'T LIKE IT
t3_4gh80v
relationships
Me [23F] potentially dating [27 M] after knowing each other two weeks: after a night of drinks, he shared with me how he lost his virginity and it worries me...
I have been talking to this really sweet guy for a couple weeks now. We met up a few times and I would really like to get to know him better: he is kind, chivalrous, funny, and we have great conversation together. One night we met for drinks and we both began to let our "walls" down in a sense and had some deeper conversation. We began to talk about previous relationships which gave me quite a bit of insight. He shared (i'm sure through the help of booze) that he lost his virginity at 22 years old after being with a 46 year old woman in a hot tub. I told him that I appreciated that he was open and honest, and he told me it was something that he regrets. I haven't stopped thinking about it since he told me because it makes me feel really weird. Long story short: is this something really that strange? Should this be a deal breaker?
Is it strange that the guy I am seeing lost his virginity with a 46 year old woman in a hot tub? He openly regrets it, and I'm not sure how I feel about it.
t3_3b3sba
tifu
TIFU by taking my friends to the beach.
So this happened last summer, but I still laugh about it, so here we go. A little background info: I go to a Christian College and all of my friends decided to come up to visit me in in my home state of New Jersey. We have a great few days seeing the sights of NYC, when the day for us to hit the Jersey shore finally arrives. We get up early and to head over to the Sandy Hook shoreline, which unbeknownst to me at the time has the ONLY legal nude beach in New Jersey (Gunnison Beach). We are walking to the water, excited that we are finally here after the long drive, thrilled that we were about to have a great beach day... When suddenly hundreds of naked people surrounded us. The area is marked pretty clearly that it is a "clothing optional" plot of land, but there hadn't been any signs posted the way we came in. The look of scarring horror and terror on my sheltered Christian friends' faces still makes me smile even as I'm writing this. Needless to say, we moved to the clothing required section of the beach so they would be more comfortable.
Accidentally surrounded Christians with naked old men
t3_1casxl
relationship_advice
Can a relationship with little to no sexual attraction work? [23f] and [24m]
My boyfriend and I of over 6 years had been on the rocks for awhile. He was truly my best friend, but I had almost zero sexual attraction to him, and in fact, sometimes he straight up disgusted me. I would go to other guys to fill this void in the form of flirtatious texting, or whatever. I know it wasn't right of me, but moving on... In the midst of all this, he got a job 500 miles away and moved, expecting me to move with him when I finished up my last semester of school. 2 Weeks later I broke up with him over the phone. This was back in January. Just recently I've been feeling really torn up about it. I really truly feel like I love him, and I've been missing him. I'm not the biggest fan of his parents... but besides for that, the intimacy sucks. I don't really want to have sex with him. What do I do? Can a relationship where the intimacy isn't good work? Or am I being too shallow?
Not really attracted to my ex sexually, but I'm missing him. Could this relationship ever work?
t3_2ntdpk
relationship_advice
I [24M] was dating an amazing girl [26F] who decided to break things off and wants to be friends, but sees us together in the future.
About 5 months ago, I [24M] met an incredible girl [26F] through hanging out with mutual friends and we hit it off immediately, talking through the entire first night we met. Unfortunately, I am in medical school 300 miles away from my hometown, so anything we did would have to be long distance. We were lucky enough to see each other for 4 straight weekends following meeting each other, and had an amazing time together, and we developed strong feelings for each other. We had an amazing 2 more months talking and seeing each other on every other weekend, until a bad ending to one of our dates caused a rift between us. It ballooned from just a simple misunderstanding to growing over a period of 3 weeks to a pretty intense argument at which point we decided to take time off. We decided then (around November 15th) to wait until mid-december when i will be coming back home for about a month to really see each other again. We have continued to have discussions since, and we remain friendly with one another at this time, but she keeps emphasizing that she does not know if she is ready for a relationship at this time, and that she doesn't necessarily see us together now, but she does in the future. She also says that she wants to "hang out as friends" and "see how we feel" then. At the same time, I've taken the time to reflect on the relationship we had, despite how short it may have been, and I feel like I am more in love with her now than I ever was before. I am worried that seeing her again will only lead me to being hurt, where she will continue to be ambivalent about what it is she actually wants. She keeps reiterating that she doesn't feel mature enough with herself to be involved in a relationship. I have told her how I feel and that I would like for us to hang out again and maybe take things slower, and she seems somewhat interested in this, but again I am worried about the idea that I will keep falling for her while she will only want to continue to be friends forever. I appreciate any advice and input anyone may have.
I was in a long term relationship with a lovely girl, we broke up impulsively, and now she wants to be friends and see where things go because she thinks we have a future together, but not right now necessarily. What does this mean?
t3_2y8x6s
relationship_advice
[27/F] seeing [39/M] for 3+ months now. Was moving quickly then he backed off but still wants to see me.
He broke up with his 8 year common-law girlfriend a year ago. Has 4 year old with her. I met him in October, we flirted back and forth for a couple of weeks at social events before finally going home together. He took me on a date shortly there after, which was made out to be a big deal to him and his friends - he doesnt take girls out on dates. Things moved along nicely for a couple months, he went away over Christmas and we talked everyday saying we missed each other etc. Over that break I discovered my birth control had failed and I was about one month pregnent, I decided to terminate the pregnancy and he was in agreeance. He came back, spent a lovely week with me and then upon us returning to work I started getting terrible morning sickness, wild hormones and depression. I wanted him around a lot because I felt lonely and was struggling with the situation, and he was having a hard time (physically and mentally - I think) doing that and balancing everything in his life. A week before the procedure he said that he can't commit to me and he hates the idea of being with someone who is so demanding and doesn't want to be accountable for anyone after the relationship he has just got out of a year earlier but he still wants to keep seeing me. I told him that if he his over me emotionally and just looking for sex to let me go. He took really good care of me the day of my procedure and we still see each other about twice a week. A part of me thinks we have run our course, a part of my thinks I've been a little needy and I just need to keeping taking it slow and remember the positives and see where things go.
dating older man who won't commit after 3 months
t3_427d1m
Advice
[Need Advice] Doing bad in Pre-Cal
Im still in highschool with a 3.4 GPA (out of 4.0) and overall a decent student. I decided to go take precal after algebra 2 because I did decent, B's-D's on the test but always brought my grade up with projects and whatnot to have a final grade of a B in the class. Precal I was expecting it to be harder but wow, my teacher weights the test at 60% and doesnt give much improvement to bring up your grade. I had 2 tests this grading period, I flunked one of them (0.8) and the other has yet to be graded. I have a B average on the quizzes and a C on the homework (quizzes are worth 20% and homework is 10%), I currently am freaking out because I got a C last quarter and even thats a bit low for me, and this quarter it seems Im going to be having a D. Would I fail the class, or how would this affect my chances of getting accepted into a uni or how would I break this to my parents, I had a B until the first test which was before winter break and I've been riding out with a D after I failed the test. BTW grading period closes after this weekend .-. Sorry for the wall of text
Getting the D by my precal teacher, scared on how this will affect my gpa, odds of getting into a good university, or most of all how to break this to my parents when I would tell them i have good grades even though i have 3 A's and 2 B's.
t3_1cq28m
relationships
He [23M] doesn't want to "label" what he has with me [22F] as "a relationship."
We have been dating for a month but have known each other for a long time. We are in a weird grey area of "seeing each other" at the moment, which is more than fine with me, for now... However, he told me he doesn't think that if things get more serious that he wants to be in a relationship with me. Guys I've dated before in the past have usually initiated the "define the relationship" talk and told me they wanted to be exclusive and serious. While I don't care about being official in terms of what others think, I do care that someone I have serious feelings for may prefer to keep being "single" and that I won't be considered a significant other or a girlfriend. Is this unwarranted concern? I feel like it could be a red flag that he wants to screw around or keep his options open, but then again I know him well and he doesn't date a lot and is not a ladies' man. I've never dated anyone who is so reluctant to be in a relationship with someone they have feelings for.
Insecure about him not ever wanting to be my SO, even though we like each other a lot. Should I feel weird about a man not desiring to be in a relationship with me even if things are really serious between us?
t3_e26jh
AskReddit
Reddit, last week I got what I thought was random Halloween text.
"It said I'm sorry for everything, I miss you." I didn't know whose number it was so I just dismissed it. (My blackberry lost all my contacts about 6 months ago.) Now I have come to find out that text was in fact from a girl that dumped me via google chat almost a year ago. (Apparently a mutual friend was with her when she sent it). Apparently several times over the last 6 months she has been asking said friend about me and telling her she misses me and what a nice guy I was. And apparently she finally had the courage last week to text me. (which i think was aided by alcohol from a Halloween party, text received at 2 am.). Another thing, we only dated for 2 months, which is why I'm a little surprised at her missing me. Anyways, I was wondering what you think my response should be if any. I'm not currently in a relationship so anything I send isn't an issue.
Girl I dated over a year ago, who dumped me sent me a text last week saying she misses me. (collaborated with a mutual friend) What should I do?
t3_30vkfr
tifu
TIFU by having my mother, mother-in-law, and girlfriend cook.
Go ahead let it all out. My mom can't cook because you (the shitty commenters) fucked her good. I know you fucked her, do I care not really. Why? I am filled with hate and spite on how my nap ended. I got home really tired, like dead tired, I was awake all night yesterday. Browsing reddit and doing some work. At around 8 am I had to prepare a shit of stuff around the house because her parents are staying over for three days. Kendra (girlfriend's name I just came up in three seconds) decided she wants to go buy flowers and shit while I clean. By time she got home, she had met my mom whom also decided to come help for some shit reason, probably love but I doubt it. I finished cleaning at around 1pm. Ran to the bed in my room and just collapsed. At around this time the parents arrived setting the stuff in there guest room and mother-in-law (bitch #1), probably had the brilliant idea to make some food. Mom (bitch #2) and Kendra (nice bitch #3) also joined apparently. So. I fucking woke up to fire alarms and tons of smoke coming into the room. At this point I was worried they burned my apartment down. I looked out the window saw people outside looking at the smoke. I immediately grabbed my laptop, phone, wallet, and fire proof case and ran to the living. When I looked at all three of them they were just laughing at the burned food on the skillet (was around 6pm by now). I immediately threw them out of the house, gave them my car keys so I don't have to look at for the next hour while I, I, I cook a nice meal. So, yeah. The females in my house can't cook for shit.
BURN THE WITCHY CUNTS.
t3_s00p2
AskReddit
Has a police officer ever been a Good Guy Greg to you? Describe it
I was once pulled over coming home from a friends Halloween party for running a red light. I went through right as it changed, but ran through it nonetheless. The officer pulled me over and did the usual deal, Licence and registration, do you know why i pulled you over? I told him i knew that I had ran the light and my reasoning was that I was just dog tired, as it was 3:30 AM and I just wanted to get home. He asked me if there had been any drinking or drugs at the party and I hurriedly said no, as I was only 17 at the time. He went back to his cruiser and ran my licence and plates and then came back and informed me that i was going to get a verbal warning, i.e don't do it again kind of thing, and then he escorted me home, which was about five miles away.
cop doesn't give ticket for running red light and escorts me home at 3:30 AM
t3_28mfbf
relationships
Is there someone else or what? Look at my situation and tell me if you think there's someone else or not? He does not text back. And when I hear from him he snaps at me like he hasn't had enough space from me 25f him 24m and 2 years.
We used to text all day long, lately I'll text and no matter what I text he won't text back. So I leave it and then I haven't heard from him for hours and hours the whole day. I'll see him on insta or fb but he won't text me back and when I call him he gets snappy at me like he hasn't had space from me but I don't understand why because it's gone hours since he's heard from me? This is what happened today, he text me in the morning and I text him back a few hours later, he didn't text back. So midday I sent a text saying he's probably working hard so I'll let him be and I would like to see him tonight ? If he could message me when he finished work. The day ends haven't heard back so I'm sitting here with my brain fucked. I call him and say hey how was your day and he gets annoyed at me and I say can I see you tonight or do you have plans, he says no he has no plans and gets annoyed at me again and says I'll see if anyone's doing anything if they aren't I'll see you maybe. Then gets annoyed at me because I went quiet on the phone.
I don't know what to do ? Is this a sign of something bad?
t3_102a5r
AskReddit
I am a guy with a family who has helped me through my education financially and emotionally during times of hardship. I love them, but we do not always see eye to eye. Where does being my own person cross the line into being disrespectful?
So here's the story. My grandparents did very well financially during their prime years and consequently have made it so I really don't have to worry about tuition... ever. I love them not only for their incredible generosity but they both are some of the most understanding and caring people I know. They have helped me through many troubles large and small, through family tragedies, and they push me to get outside my comfort zone in order to try new things. Now, although they are wonderful, they are very traditional in terms of education; they think I should power through my four years at college, then take a break. I, on the other hand, feel like I need to find myself via travels (I plan on paying for this on my own). They disagree and look at me scornfully whenever I bring the idea up. I have a hard time deciding what's right, seeing as they have done so much for me. I feel like doing what I want would almost disrespect them. What do you think?
Grandparents pay for school, I want break, they don't agree=moral conundrum.
t3_umy20
AskReddit
Boyfriend wants a "bit more"
Boyfriend & I had been taking about recently about "hypothetical" open relationship. It was just taking about how a couple would do it.. nothing to it. He asked me yesterday, if I had any thoughts on this conversation we had. I told him, I am positive I don't want one.. though he wants a "bit more" in the relationship - possibly & open relationship or a threesome. We had a big talk last night talking about this. We do not want to break up, and still want this relationship, but he feels that he needs to get this off his chest. I want him to be happy, but I have 2 options 1)Him being able to go out, (emotionless, meaningless) sex with a random. & There are strick rules e.g: Safe sex, Random 1 night stand, no exchanging numbers, STD/STI checks for him. etc Though It would be on occassion only 2)We agree to have a threesome. I don't mind either one of those, both options I get something out of it (more romantic time together, him putting more effort in to make me not feel left out, etc). It also gives me the chance to trust him, and him to trust me as I won't sleep with anyone. He just needs to get it out of his system. What would you do?
Boyfriend wants a "bit more" (wants to go out and sleep with a random). Or we have a threesome. I don't know what to do, or what to choose.
t3_2lgjuo
relationships
Late bloomer [M25] looking some advice/help.
Let me start off saying that I'm 25 year old male who hasn't had serious relationship yet. I consider myself as smart, ok/good looking and person with good sense of humor (maybe too much?). I have no problem talking to the girls and getting them go out with me. The problem lies just when going to dates and after that. Last two girls have been both wonderful and here is the long story short: Girl1 was really interested in me and I liked her a lot. It clicked really good, but on third date she invited me over and I froze completely. She didn't want to continue and respected her decision. Girl2 had really great time with her and after third date she had to go on a week trip to her parents. After that it really went to cold. I tried to make physical contact, but she just were too distant so to speak. I kind a of lost the attraction, because it just felt more hanging than date. On fifth date we went to walk and she told about her mental illness (don't want to be too specific). After that I asked if she wants to come eat dinner at my place. She said that she can come as friend and I immediately said I don't think it won't work. After I stopped seeing Girl2 I don't feel bad at all. Does this mean it was actually right decision? I don't know if I'm making fool of myself asking this. Should I wait until I meet someone who takes my breath away or try to make it happen with someone I like, but doesn't make my heart pound like crazy? I wanted to ask this, because Girl2 was like this.
late bloomer needs help with serious relationships
t3_123bqn
relationships
My ex(27m) wants a sexual relationship and insists on buying things for me(28f).I'm confused and need help.
We were together for a year this time...the first time was nine months and things pretty much went the same way after our first break-up. The reason he broke up with me is b/c he just doesn't want a relationship. We are each others best friend and are both terrified of losing the other. He just recently informed me he still wants a sexual relationship with me then went and spent money on me. Him and I have never been physical b/c of the distance. We do phone sex, sexting...all that fun stuff. I don't get why he still wants to do relationship type things but doesn't want to be in a relationship with me. I am confused and hurting and have no idea what to do about this. I want the sexual relationship with him but I'm not certain it's the best thing for me. It does make me feel uncomfortable that he spends money on me, but anyone could spend money on me and make me uncomfortable. It's mainly b/c I don't have the means to reciprocate. I do love the guy, but I don't care about marrying him or having his kids. I'm all about the now and right now my heart wants him. He's awesome and perfect and amazing and he's really the greatest person I know. I couldn't imagine my life without him and any capacity. I mean if marriage and stuff came I'd go there with him, but not right now...years and years from now. Anyway. Should I continue what we are doing and just go with the flow or should I stop everything and be just friends?
Ex boyfriend still does relationship things, he just doesn't want the title. I'm confused. Help!
t3_392c7k
relationships
My [28F] two aunts [55F] are fighting and my mom [57F] is asking me for advice on going to a party hosted by one.
Two of my aunts, we'll call them Jane [55F] and Sally [55F] have been in a fight for years. I'm much closer to Sally so I've only heard parts of it her and since I don't know the whole story let's just say that Jane accused Sally of saying something that she didn't and then Jane started telling the rest of the family different things about Sally. Sally didn't even realize there was a problem until another family member mentioned it and when she tried to call Jane about it they got into a huge fight. I don't know if they've talked since then but my cousin (Sally's daughter) invited Jane and her whole family to her wedding and none of them went. This hurt my cousin a lot because they used to be close. Now, Jane is having a party for her adult daughter and my mom is invited. Sally and her family were not invited. My mom wants to talk to me tonight about whether she should go or not. She said she heard more of the story and the fight is worse than she thought (and basically Jane is the one totally to blame from what she has heard). My mom now feels like if she goes to the party she will be supporting Jane's decision to exclude Sally. But I'm afraid that if she doesn't go she will be doing the same thing to Jane's daughter that Jane had done to Sally's daughter, not going to an event for her niece because of something going on with the parents. I don't know what advice to give her. For the record, I do believe that Jane is wrong for completely cutting out Sally and her family. There have been some rough times when I would have thought she would have found a way to set aside issues and put family first but that hasn't happened. I just don't know how bad this new information my mom's going to tell me about tonight has to be before I'd feel like it'd be right for her to decline seeing Jane's family. Also, although this instance doesn't really involve me, I know that if my mom declines to go and tells Jane why, I will probably be grouped into this and might not be invited to future things as well.
My two aunts have been in a fight for years. My mom was invited to a party at one of their houses but is asking me for advice on whether she should go or not. I don't know what to tell her.
t3_4xpkbp
relationships
Me [26F] with my LDR bf [30M] of 9 months, what to say after the first "I love you"s are exchanged?
I know this is a really weird question, but I'm wondering what people say immediately after exchanging the first "I love you"s. I've been long-distance dating a shy, quiet guy for about nine months, so I'm ready to say it regardless of his response. We're pretty overdue, actually; I've wanted to say it for three months now. But when I play it out in my head, I can't figure out what I would say next if he reciprocates. I have all sorts of escape plans in case he doesn't say it back, but what if he does? I can guarantee he wouldn't continue talking, so my best case scenario is that we're both totally silent or I figure out something graceful to say. I don't want to go in without a plan, because I think I would start babbling in relief and ruin the moment/say something awkward. And before anyone asks, I think the burden is on me to say it because he tried to say it once, very early in the relationship (like one week in), and I pushed him away because it felt like things were moving too fast. Although I think I was right to put the brakes on, I definitely could have been more tactful, so I wouldn't blame him waiting for me to initiate. Nine months later, I'm sick of holding myself back. I want to say it and get it out there already! I just need help with a graceful ending. Thanks, I know it's weird.
Me: I love you.
t3_zl5bl
relationships
Dating for 2.5 months, told her I loved her now and getting weird vibes (26M/23F)
Here is the story, I have been dating this great girl for about 2.5 months. Before dating, we were very close/best friends for a year. This week, I began to realize that not only did I think she was amazing, but also that I loved her. I thought about whether I should tell her. I haven't told anyone the L word in the past. But I figured because I have known her for a relatively long period of time, my emotions were legit and I actually thought she would feel the same way about me. But boy was I wrong. She paused, said I love you back. But since then she has been a bit different. She always used to tell me that she thought she cared more about me, than me towards her (I'm usually the hard to get sort). But things have flipped around all of sudden, she's been more detached and I seem to care more about her than she does about me. Today, she told me she thinks we are moving too fast and it makes her nervous. I feel a bit off-put by this. I know we've only been dating for 2.5 months, but we were actually best of friends before this (kind of grey zone in fact, talk on the phone every night, she'd give me thinly veiled drunken booty calls etc). If her feathers were rustled by this after we've been so close for 14 months, what does it mean? The little part of my brain that feels is kind of thinking she really believes "you are fun to date, but I don't consider you longterm material". It's not like I am remotely thinking about anything really serious like moving in or marriage, and she knows that. Anyways, I feel kind of bummed. It's not what I expected from her and I feel sort of mislead. Thoughts?
(26M/23F) Best friends for a year, dating for 2.5 months, told I loved her and became more detached and announced that things are moving too quickly, it is making her nervous.
t3_qr9df
AskReddit
28yo - Was adopted as an infant - How can I get info on birthparents?
I was adopted as a 8 week old infant, and while my family is the greatest thing to ever happen to me and the love of my life, I have always had questions. I have since gotten over the fact that they did not want anything to do with me since I last asked about 15 years ago. However, now I am beginning to care about my medical history (and less importantly while a bit selfishly) would like to know at least how my older "brothers" look or turned out. The most important thing to me is getting an updated medical history so I know what I should be aware of and look out for in my future. The Reddit community has so much knowledge as a well oiled and literally know something about everything machine, I figured I would ask. Any avenues I can research or pointers outside of just asking the original adoption agency (which did not work previously), would be greatly appreciated.
Was adopted and would like to find info on birth family medical history when previous updated requests have been denied.
t3_2nxwpl
AskReddit
[Serious] iPhone user considering switch to Galaxy S5. Does anyone have any experiences switching from one to the other with likes and dislikes?
Looking for other people's experiences switching from iPhone to Galaxy or vice versa. Has anyone else switched from Apple to Samsung and started loving it AFTER two weeks? What concerns me about the Galaxy is that it's just a TAD too big (more in my first comment). However, the Galaxy is a beautiful and feature-filled phone with a kick-ass screen, but I'm just not sure. I know people will stay stick with what you're comfortable with, but what about the other side of the fence? What are some concerns you have switching operating systems? What attracts you to one over the other? Anyone with similar changes or changing from Galaxy to iPhone? All serious stories and responses will be appreciated.
Serious phone debate. iPhone user trying Galaxy.
t3_45apy1
tifu
TIFU by making lunch
This actually happened today (hooray) So I'm a competitive powerlifter who is trying to diet down to place higher at competitions. To do this, I am choosing to cut out most carbs. So for lunch I decided to hard boil six eggs. I fucking love eggs. You know what I like more than eggs? Cheddar cheese. So I get 5 oz of cheddar cheese and pour that shit over the peeled eggs. I'm thinking "Holy fuck DS0713 you're a genius. But melt the cheese and this will be godly." So I stick that shit in the microwave for 40 seconds. I take it out and the cheese is gooey and hot. *I'm in heaven* I let it cool down a little and go to cut it with my fork and knife. *salivation begins* As soon as I stick the fork in I hear **BOOM** and I feel something hot on my face. I quickly realize I have a face full of ~~molten hot lava~~ cheesy eggs. My face still hurts.
Made lunch, ended up covered in aborted chicken babies.
t3_2cpbm4
relationships
My friend (28 F) is mad at me because I (27 M) didn't want to date a widow.
Yesterday, I got into a very bad fight with a "friend" that I'm interested in. It was me and her and we were out with a few other friends. A few weeks ago I went on a date with a widow (29 F). I didn't know at the time, and when I invited her out again she told me. I was pleasant to her on the second date, made sure we both had a good time, but I decided at that point that I didn't want to date her. I told that story while we were out drinking, and my friend got really mad. She called me out, saying I was shallow and a whole bunch of other things. I tried explaining why I wouldn't date a widow, but it didn't work, and she left. I've been trying to apologize ever since. I really want to make this up to her for a variety of reasons, one of the main ones being I'm interested in her, and she seemed pretty interested in me. When I was trying to explain to her why I wouldn't date a widow, I didn't get very personal, mainly because our other friends were there. Those reasons are that I'm very insecure, and normally compare myself to whoever I date's exes. I would spend the whole time comparing myself to a dead man who she still loves. Another factor is that I like the feeling of being the only person for my partner, and if I dated a widow that wouldn't be true. Should I be completely honest with her to the reasons why I said what I did? Would it help her to forgive me?
I told the girl I'm interested in that I wouldn't date a widow, not the reason why (I'm an insecure piece of shit). She's mad at me. Would being honest with the reason why I said what I did help mend our friendship/budding relationship?
t3_ccqin
AskReddit
How do I avoid a collections request (ultimately from Paypal)?
I did some development work for a client - the overall estimate was $1300, so I invoiced the client for a 50% retainer to start development, he paid it and I started work. I clearly stated to the client that I was pretty busy and it would take (what I thought) a longer time than necessary to complete his project. The client was adamant about me doing the work and that the timeline was no problem. Fast-forward 30'ish days, the project is complete, I send him the code and invoice him for the remaining $650 owed. I am greeted with a dispute resolution notice from Paypal, as opposed to $650 and a "Thanks!" I am expecting. We both submit our evidence to Paypal, I include the emails where I delivered the code, the original contract, all of it. The client then runs a charge-back on his credit card, so Paypal says rather than they dispute it, the guy's bank will make the final decision. I hear nothing for 4-months, my Paypal account is sitting at $-650 and I get a phone call from a "collections agency." I tell them to only correspond with me via mail, explain the situation to them, and that I understand it's not their fault - they merely purchased the debt from Paypal, to which I was told "well, no, it's still Paypal's debt we just work with them to get things taken care of, before it goes to collections." 2 months later (yesterday), I get a letter in the mail regarding this issue, asking me to make payment arrangements. What are my choices here? Do I just payup? Ignore it and take the ding on my credit report? Unfortunately, I no longer live in California (where I was when this all started) and the contract stated all legal battle would be handled in my old county (I'm in Georgia now). Hiring a lawyer to handle it for me isn't worth the $1300, much less the $650 in collections.
Received $650 retainer for development, client received code, then charge-backed the retainer. I'm shorted $1300 and in collection for $650 of that.
t3_4k4iaf
relationships
My[35F] husband[37M] of 3 years shouted at me on front of co-worker[29F].
I work not far away from our apartment. After work I was going out with a friends but I have forgotten my credit card so on the way me and my friend went to my apartment to pick it up. When we got to the apartment we went straight to the kitchen I could hear my husband cooking something. It turned out he was there just in his underwear making himself a sandwich while bath was running. He became very angry with me and had a huge go for not warning him I have company. I grabbed my money and left with friend but it ruined my whole night. He haven't spoken to me when I came back from night out and instead stayed up watching TV and fallen asleep on the sofa. He refuses to apologize for making me look bad on front of my friend and is still grumpy with me.
Husband went crazy on front of friend for something minor, how do I make him realize how it made me feel?
t3_ucmnu
Advice
Small claims court action?? (Apartment issues)
A little background: In May of 2011 I moved into an apartment with 3 animals, 2 dogs and 1 cat. The apartment leasing office assured this would be OK and just as with any apartment, any damages occurred during my duration would be paid for by me. I was fine with this. This May I got a job offer a few towns over and took the offer. In early May when I moved out we went through the walk through and everything seemed fine. I got a letter about a week ago stating that they were not able to get rid of the smell of the animals in the apartment (no mention of it when we did the walk through) and they had tried to get a carpet cleaning business to remove the smells as well, but to no prevail. Today I got an invoice from the apartments stating that I would have to pay close to $1000 for new carpeting, but when looking at the invoice date, it has a date of early January. What I'm getting from this is, that there were planning on replacing the carpets either way and now they want me to foot the bill for it. Has anyone gone through this before? Is it legal? I'm thinking of taking them to small claims court for the bill since they had already bought the carpet before I even gave notice that I would be moving. Any advice would be awesome! Thanks Reddit!
Moved out of my apartment in May, they want me to pay for the carpeting bill. Carpet was purchased in January, they are trying to get me to pay for the bill.
t3_2ecibi
tifu
TIFU by putting a tampon in my nose
I got a pretty bad bloody nose today and it just wouldn't stop bleeding, so I thought "well, tampons are for bloody holes. My nose is a bloody hole. I'll just put a tampon in my nose." I stuck it up there and it worked pretty well up until I could see the blood seeping down it. At that point my nose started to feel a little tingly so I decided to take the tampon out. It would come out. The fucking tip of the thing expanded in my nose AND WAS FUCKING STUCK. I tried pulling harder, but it wouldn't even budge. Twisting? Nope. It was fucking solid. Then I thought that I could put some water on the part just outside me nose and it would soften up. Nooooope. That just made it harder and bigger. After that I knew I would either have to rip it out or take the walk of shame to my mother and possibly a doctor. I ended up growing a pair and pulling on the piece of shit as hard as I could without thinking I would rip my nose. It came out dick shaped.
don't put tampons up your nose.
t3_r9iw4
AskReddit
Graduating, thinking about joining the army before medical school. Need help! (x-post from military)
This May, I will be graduating from school with an engineering degree. I will take the MCAT this summer, and then I want to strengthen my resume more for Med school before the test score "expires" after three years. Moreover, I personally want to be more mature, discipline, able to demonstrate clear leadership skills, and look good naked. This is why I have been thinking about joining the army. I understand the army has a two-year enlistment program. I have read a bit about it, but would like to know more information through others' personal experiences. Additionally, I understand that after graduating, I have the opportunity of becoming an officer. I don't know, however, if there is an opportunity to train and be an officer within two years. Furthermore, I understand that the army holds you accountable for 8 years of service, but I do not know if that service continues right after med school, residency, or specialization.
I'd like to go the army route (navy people, feel free to convince me otherwise) for two years after college before med school. Would like to know what options are available (two-year enlistment, or officer) and what happens after med school
t3_3di5uv
relationships
Me [30F] with my Husband [30M] 6 years, arguing about training dog
Had the weirdest argument with my husband last night. After our dog eats dinner, we throw him in the back yard to go potty. Ever since we moved into the place we're in now, where we have our own little back yard, we've done it. I usually say "backyard!" when he is licking his bowl clean, and he heads that way (my dog is an old slow dude, imagine snuffleupagus shuffling) because I always use the cue "backyard" when I want him to go there. My husband just opens the door and the dog will generally wander around the room, and sometimes go out there, but also sometimes he will lay down, and then get up and want to go out later, because he has a pavlovian potty response to dinner. Last night, husband opens the door, dog wanders around the room, husband seems annoyed that dog didn't just go out as soon as the door opened. I say "The training works better if we are both consistent with it," and husband tells me he doesn't want to have "that kind of relationship" with the dog. He starts getting worked up so we put a pin in it to discuss today over dinner when we are both more calm. Really, though, should I just drop this? The dog complies with me when I use the command (actually, almost any command, I'm the one that trained the dog to sit for food, taught him his name, taught him lay and play dead, taught him to put himself to "bed" upstairs in our room). Husband using commands will probably reinforce it better but doesn't appear to be a detriment to me. What is a detriment -- other times of day, when husband goes out the back door to his workshop, dog will hear the door and take THAT as a cue, and want to go out there, just because. He isn't going potty, he's just sunning himself. This annoys husband greatly.
My husband and I disagree on dog training methods/philosophies. Should I just accept this or should we negotiate to be on the same page?
t3_2a41ci
loseit
81lbs down and counting!
I recently discovered this sub and it has helped immensely in keeping me motivated. Thank you all for your incredible stories of struggle and success! I wanted to share my progress in hopes that it can do the same for someone else. I started trying to make a change in 2011. At the time, I had completely let myself go. I went in for a work physical and was faced with a scale for the first time in months. I knew I had put on a bit of weight, but I was not expecting anything close to what popped up. I was 397lbs... I spent the entire summer working in Angola. In the time that I was there, I managed to drop right around 50lbs. Over the next 2 years, I struggled with yo yo dieting, always staying around 360. Back in March, I decided it was time to really buckle down and start taking care of myself. A friend of mine introduced me to Fitbit. I started wearing it at work. I found myself taking the stairs more, as well as taking longer routes around the platform. I now average 15k steps and 85 flights of stairs a day, while at work. I also started walking when I am home. Started out with 4-5 miles, and that has turned into right around 10 daily. I began logging my meals and exercise with the MyFitnessPal app. That has made counting calories a simple task. I finish every day below my allotted count. Since starting this new lifestyle on March 21st, I have gone from 367, down to 316. I have gone from a 48 to 40 in jeans, and my shirt size has dropped from a 3XLT, to a regular 2XL. I find myself smiling more, and my confidence has greatly increased. My next venture is to start Couch to 5K. Before and after.
I have dropped 81lbs and have a lot more to go. This sub has helped keep me motivated.
t3_36we0u
tifu
TIFU by sodomizing my girlfriend (possibly NSFW)
As most posts to this sub this happened several months ago. So me and my girlfriend were getting down to business. We were on the bed and her ankles were near my shoulders and her butt slightly elevated above the bed. I was pounding her hard and she was really wet. Here's where i fuck up. As i'm thrusting i pull back a little too far and the head slips out of the hole. Then gravity pulls my dick down slightly alligning itself with door #2. By the time i realize what happened i already thrusted back in. She yelped in pain and i immediately pulled out. I noticed a (very small) amount of blood on my dick and i appologized profuesely. She kicked my out of the room, and i reentered after giving her 5 or 10 minutes to cool off. She understands it was an accident and today we laugh about it.
It's just one paragraph just read it you lazy fuck ;)
t3_3g2v19
books
What constitutes copyright violation?
Quick backstory. I'm reading a certain book to my son at night and one day my cat destroyed the last few pages of the book. I asked, in that series' subreddit, if someone could either transcribe the last few pages or take pictures of them for me so that I could properly finish the book. Some people pointed out that what I was asking for probably wasn't legal, but it got me thinking. What exactly constitutes copyright violation? I can understand how taking pictures and sharing them publicly would be illegal, but what about transcription? I mean, you can publicly share a sentence or a paragraph from a book, but at what point does quoting turn into copyright? Is there a certain word limit?
how much can you publicly share of a book before it becomes a copyright violation?
t3_53cknq
relationships
I [20F] found out that my mom [50sF] had an affair with who I've always thought is my uncle [50sM], he might actually be my dad.
So this is pretty insane to me. Definitely very far off from anything I ever thought was possible in my family. Up until the past month, I thought the makeup of my immediate family was as follows- my big sister [27F], my big brother [25M], my mom and my dad [50sM]. All nuclear, very normal, no problems except for my parents almost divorcing a few years ago. Little did I know, this was because my dad found out my mom slept with his younger brother and I came along. I've always been told I was an unplanned pregnancy, but no one ever mentioned to me that I was possibly the illegitimate child of my uncle. Apparently, they've never done a paternity test because as far as m parents are concerned, I belong to my dad. My brother and sister found out very recently as well. My parents decided I was old enough to know I guess? I've always had a lot of issues with my mom, my dad's always been there for me. They say nothing will change but I'm going out of my mind. I don't want to recognize someone else as my dad. My uncle's a great guy, he's successful, he's always been amazing to me, he's married to my aunt and they have three kids together F[14], F[20] and M[21] who I love. I know my cousins don't know but my aunt does. She's never treated me as anything but her niece that she loves. Obviously, everyone in my family is handling this in the best way they can and treating me fairly but I just feel so displaced. How do I continue being a part of my family knowing I'm halfway in between my siblings and my cousins, getting to feel like I belong anywhere? I'm sorry if this is scrambled, I'm just very confused and upset right now.
My mom and my "dad's" brother had an affair 20 years ago, turns out it's most likely that I'm my actually my uncle's kid, where do I go from here?
t3_3376i6
relationships
My [18M] brother is completely absorbed in his relationship at the expense of family and friends
My brother (18M) started dating this girl a year ago, and he acts completely different when he's around her. He doesn't seem to be able to interact with other people and her at the same time. His girlfriend and I (18M) were friends for a long time before they started dating, but after they became a couple he started acting extremely uncomfortable when other people were around, and always looked for excuses to disappear with her. She was also friends with our best friend (we were all part of the same friend group) but after they started dating he got jealous of him talking to her and told her to stop, and ended up ruining his friendship. They have been dating for over a year but both me and my parents have no relationship with his girlfriend at all. He also tries to spend every minute of every day with her. He would be over at her house all day every day if his girlfriend wanted him to be. So I don't know what to do. I don't think he's mature enough to be in a serious relationship, but whenever I try to bring up some of the obvious issues with him he shuts me down and refuses to talk about it. My only plan right now is just to wait things out and wait for him to grow up, because I know talking to him about it will just make him dig his heels into the ground more. Forgive my rambling, it's late and I'm frustrated with all of this. I just want to organize my thoughts so maybe I can start making sense of this. I just know that both my parents and myself and everyone else who know's my brother will be celebrating when they break up
My brother is completely absorbed in his relationship, blocks out family and friends
t3_30bt2b
relationships
I [35M] have trouble talking in groups and it's affecting my work life
I am good at my job. It is a very high stress job that is intense all day from when I start to when I clock out. I can feel my heart pounding in my chest all day and it demands a lot psychologically to keep a level head. I am okay with that right now but I am having one problem. I find it impossible to chat socially in my group at break time. We sit at a round table and there are often around 6 to 8 of us. I sit most of the time completely quiet while the rest of them talk. I smile and enjoy the conversations but I never say anything and I wish that I could. I just go blank and can't think of anything valuable to say. I live a different life to them and am more into geeky tech type things while they talk about sports and celebrities and current affairs. I feel as though my manager while he might think I am a good worker might think I am not as outgoing and confident as I came across in the interview. I am content enough but I sometimes thinik professionally it would be wise to be a more assuming person. When it comes to work I am okay but when it comes to idle chitchat I am a disaster. I am okay talking to most of these people on a one to one level but in a group I am mute. Also I find it harder to talk to people I believe to be more powerful than me. For any of the psychologists out there... yes I have the same issue talking to my father. Have any of you overcome such a paralysis like this before?
I am quite content emotionally to be silent but think professionally I would be better off being socially outspoken and confident in work however I turn into a social mute in groups. Hoping to hear from people who were like this but overcame it.
t3_37mwjl
relationships
I [26 f] have a terrible feeling that my bf [26 m] of three years is either cheating or wants to break up.
I know I probably just sound like a paranoid over thinker, but I'm actually the opposite. I'm the laid back one in my relationship of over three years, and I haven't really had any doubts. I love my boyfriend so much, and we've been especially happy for the last 6 months or so. We've been talking about moving in together, spending more time with my family, etc. Then these past two weeks things have slowly started to feel very off. First we went on a weekend vacation, which was really fun, but there was a strange moment. I went to hold his hand when we were walking by the beach late at night and he pulled it away and said "get off of me" pretty aggressively. It seemed like a weird visceral response and I was shocked. I'm sure I looked back at him horrified and he apologized and put his arm around me and kissed me on the forehead. Very weird, no real explanation. To me it felt like something he'd been thinking and hadn't said - he needs space or I don't know what. Then this week he hasn't texted me once. We've seen each other at night but during the day, nothing. Last night I called him before going to bed since we weren't together and he rushed me off of the phone. He hadn't talked to me all day - a first in our relationship. He's never gone to bed without at least a goodnight or quick check in. Nothing since then. Usually he's texting me constantly, telling me funny stories, etc. I finally sent him a few messages being like how's your day going - only 1 word responses. Maybe he's just busy but something genuinely seems off to me. I don't really know what to do. I don't think he's cheating, but maybe he feels smothered or is scared. I'm going to see him later tonight so hopefully I can ask him what's going on in person, but I don't know that he'll be honest. I've noticed that he's been on his phone much more lately, and he had a two hour long heart to heart with his best friend.
boyfriend has suddenly become cold and distant, i have no idea what's going on
t3_3q42wi
tifu
TIFU by being a foreigner in my native country.
This happened to me last month. I would've posted this earlier but I've only been introduced to reddit about a week ago (fell in love with reddit btw). So I'm an Arab-American who has lived in the U.S. for the past 15 years of my life. I was basically raised an american. During my time away, I really fell behind on my Egyptian slang so when I went back last month, I was having trouble understanding most conversations I'd had with my former friends (former here meaning the friends I'd had before I moved to the U.S.) My cousin quickly caught onto this and thought he'd "help me out". He introduced me to the word "Zyngy" and told me that it was a respectful way of saying bro. He added that it can be used in conversations with both adults and people our age called "shabab" in Arabic. For the ensuing two weeks, TWO WEEKS, I was looked at with disgrace, shunned, insulted even spat at while buying groceries, paying taxi-drivers, greeting the gardener etc. I put it down to the fact that I was a foreigner with a weird accent and didn't let it get to me. Now Egypt is a country where cheap labor is dominated by sudanese-egyptians who emigrated from Sudan eons ago. It wasn't until a kind man at a Vodafone kiosk stand in a Carrefour laughed at me and told me, "look you seem like a foreigner but you shouldn't say that word". Confused, I told my cousin about it and he finally admitted that the exact definition of "zyngy" is N****R and that I had been verbally abusing everyone I had come in contact with during my short stay.
Being a Foreigner in my Native country made me a racist.
t3_1i7pik
relationships
My ex [m24] and I [f22] broke up 2 months ago, I work at his favorite cafe and he's annoyed that I asked him not to come while I'm working.
My ex and I were together for 10 months and after we broke up I got a part time job at our favorite cafe. The cafe is a 2 minute walk from my house and its a very convenient location for me. When I got the job he warned me that he would still be going and I told him that was fine because at the time we were trying to be friends and it didn't matter to me but since then we've started no contact and I haven't seen him in over a month. Recently we've been texting a little bit and he keeps asking me if he can come to the cafe and I tell him not to come while I'm working. He seems to get really annoyed and frustrated about not being able to go :/ I don't understand it, it's just a cafe, but it seems to mean a lot to him. He says that it isn't fair for me to "ban" him from his favorite cafe (He works mon-fri and can only go on weekends - which is when I work) and that I put myself in this situation when I took the job. But I'm really just not ready to see him yet :c the breakup really hurt me and it will make it much harder for me to move on if I have to see him every week when I go to work. Is it okay for me to ask him not to come to the cafe anymore? Or am I being unreasonable about this?
I work at my exs favorite cafe and now hes annoyed that he cant go anymore because of me.
t3_3xbnhs
relationships
Small update: Me [30F] with my husband [30M], why we are still together
Original post: Summary of older posts: I only posted negative things and even considering "divorce" over disliking my husband's relatives. I can't stand them for various reasons, but I really love him. I don't want to be "that naggy wife" over my dislike of his relatives. My husband and I click on all levels, just not the one regarding boundaries / his family. I don't know if this is going to affect our lives in the future, but I really love him and want to make this work. So, he called from work to ask me if I wanted to go on a date on Saturday, around 1am, to take me on a cinema date. He came home, let me order from my favourite pizza delivery service, and we had a nice evening. (He is not a fan of that movie franchise and he hates fast food) He told me that we could cancel the hotel rooms if I wanted, and that I shouldn't let his family issues get under my skin. And that we should focus on our life together. So, yeah, you marry into a family, and you can't really choose who your inlaws will be. I don't want to give up my husband because I think his family is weird/disgusting. He is the best husband in the world, and I really want to work on my resentment towards his family members.
I love my husband dearly, thought about divorce because I can't stand his relatives, but want to work on myself.
t3_2zeg0f
relationships
I [21 M] think i'm falling for my physiotherapist.
This could all be pointless, but what the hell... So after going to the doctor because of my back pain, he told me i had a minor injury in my lower back, and that i would be starting physical therapy in a clinic close to my college. At the clinic i met this woman that introduces herself as my physical therapist...I'm so overwhelmed, she's about 24/25, super sweet and so good looking. I was expecting 30' year old plus man, not a a young woman to be on top of me stretching my spine for 40 min. The problem is now i catch myself thinking of her every other hour and I've only been to 4 sessions. I'm aware that we can't be in a relationship because of patient/therapist rules, but should i try something in my last session? If so, considering that I'm a bit socially awkward sometimes, but manageable when confident enough, what's the best way to ask her out without being extremely weird?
i've a huge crush on my (F) physical therapist, should i ask her out in my last session?
t3_20ph2y
Dogtraining
Hi there, I have a 19 month old unknown breed dog.He has some behavior problems.
For now i would just like to combat this issue; My dog 'K' will OPEN the door to the backyard at his own will (It can be opened by flicking the automatic lock) Which he must have done by accident but now has realized he can do it when he wants. I try to correct him, when he enters the house like this i tell him "No" and "Out" in a stern manner,yet he still does this almost daily and multiple times a day,i have tried taking his food/toys away from him and i have also tried 'tapping' his nose. How do i stop and prevent him doing this? I know i can fully lock the door,but it seems whenver i forget,he will open it. Nothing i can come up with can stop him as i'm not always there to 100% supervise him.
How do i convey to my dog that it is NOT okay to open the patio door and enter the house as he wishes.
t3_33662f
relationships
Me [20 M] with my GF [20 F] of half a year, is it possible to lose feelings suddenly for no reason?
I'll try and keep this short, however I have been seeing this girl for a little over half a year for now, and I don't know what it is but lately I've felt different. When we first started dating I had thought she was the one, because she seemed to have everything I could ask for, and was so different from the girls in my past. Recently, every now and then she claims that I don't love her as much as she loves me, and I'm usually a very affectionate, romantic guy. She does so much for me, and I'd do a whole lot for her as well.. it's just that lately things have been... weird. "Distant" as she would put it. Can anyone give me some advice here? Willing to give more details upon request.
I have been seeing my GF for over half a year, lately things have seemed weird, "distant" as she claims. I am a very affectionate and romantic guy, but is it possible to just lose feelings out of no where?
t3_2ipk3r
relationships
Girl I like [18/F] is telling people she's got a boyfriend but tells me [18/M] that she's single
Well, couple of nights ago, got with this girl (that means kissing in the UK) after a great chat of about 2 hours - in which she explained how she broke up with her boyfriend before uni started and left him in Spain as she was coming to the UK to study. Now to be clear, I made it wonderfully clear - through stories of past girlfriends etc that I **detest** cheating. So we kiss. The next day we text a bit, but don't get to see each other much (we're at uni together) except for in the evening where she is telling a group of mostly guys that she has a boyfriend, I've been unable to get her alone to ask and her phone is lost now so can't text her asking. How do I approach asking her if she duped me or them - and what does it mean?
How do I approach asking a girl if she has a boyfriend when she's lied about it to either me or everyone else?
t3_49hfbd
relationships
I [26 M] have been dating a girl [24 F] for about six weeks. We agreed to be exclusive about 2 and a half weeks ago... what about calling her my girlfriend?
I met a girl through Tinder about six weeks ago, and since then we've been on 10 dates over the last 6 weeks. I asked her about being exclusive a little over two weeks ago and she agreed. We did not talk about calling each other boyfriend/girlfriend however, so I'm not totally sure what I'm supposed to do with regards to that. I understand many people would say it's childish to worry about it and that it doesn't matter, but recently there have been several situations in which I've been unsure how to respond. For instance, I was hanging out with some friends and one of them happened to mention that this girl and I are now exclusive, to which another friend responded "oh so is she your girlfriend now?" I hesitated for a second because I realized that I wouldn't want to go around calling her my girlfriend if she wasn't ready for that, but I also didn't want to give the impression to my friends that I'm unsure of my feelings about her. I ended up reiterating that we were exclusive and said that we hadn't talked about labels though, to which my friend responded "oh I didn't know there was a difference." So what of it? Should I talk to this girl about calling each other girlfriend/boyfriend? If so how should I do it? Is it perhaps still too soon? Another thing that may be worth mentioning is that about a week before we became exclusive, she told me about how when she was waiting for the subway one day, some random guy kept harassing her telling her "you need a boyfriend." Might have been just something that happened, or maybe it was a hint?
Recently became exclusive with a girl and I'm wondering whether I should now talk to her about calling each other boyfriend/girlfriend. I realize it's just a label, but people have asked about it...
t3_mx8ro
AskReddit
My autistic friend likes a girl in class who doesn't like him back. He has asked me for advice on how to court her, what should I do?
I have talked to this guy in class this whole semester. He is autistic and a really nice guy, just quite awkward. So he likes another girl who has told me about the oddness of his advances. She has told me about Facebook messages he has sent her and how he waits for her to leave class so they can walk together. My autistic friend recently told me that he is planning to get her flowers for her birthday...and he has asked for type suggestions (like roses or daffodils, etc). I feel obliged to tell him to stop, but I don't think he will understand me. I have had near zero experience with autistic friendships. Does anyone have any recommendations? thanks alot
Autistic friend wants help courting a girl who doesn't like him...I dunno what to do.
t3_2509z8
relationships
I [20F] am struggling with jealousy over my SO's [22M] drastically less demanding lifestyle
Long time lurker, First time posting! My SO and I have been dating about a year and a half so far and both attend the same university. His major is known at the "party" major since it is known to be pretty undemanding in terms of coursework while mine is so extremely vigorous. I am a pre-veterinary student in my third year and must maintain a top GPA despite the countless chemistry, physiology, and physics requirements in order to even get the chance of being accepted into a veterinary school. I have always struggled with keeping myself from scoffing at his overwhelmingly easier schedule when he stresses out about it, but have so far done well keeping my thoughts to myself and try to help him best I can. I can't help but feel like he doesn't even understand what it means to have to put an excruciating amount of effort into something and still not reach a goal. I am having increasing trouble with withholding my jealousy this quarter. The stress is mounting higher and higher while I try to figure out veterinary school and am constantly dealing with a heavy, demanding course load with absolutely no room for error and I fear that my feelings about his easier life will come out. I don't want to feel so jealous and almost resentful that he chose such an easy major while I set such high goals for myself. The thing is that he works so hard at what he has to do and even has a great job lined up for next year that he got all by himself. I'm so proud of him and he is so supportive of me which makes me feel horrible for resenting him. How do I stop the buildup of these feelings and be a proud of his accomplishments instead of comparing them to mine and seeing them as something lesser?
My SO's life feels so much easier than mine which makes me jealous and resentful. Not sure what to do with those feelings.
t3_52mrqn
relationships
My military bf (M27), the stress from his job is taking a toll on me (f30)
I'm hoping other SOs who have been through this can help me out. A year ago I moved across the country for my military bf after having been long distance for about 8 months. ( we were "dating" before that but I was nervous to put a label on it bc I knew he was leaving) Since then we went through deployments and he's finally home for a long period of time (hopefully, you all know how schedules change). Now they've gone into a stressful time on the boat and it's really been hard on him. I've been doing my best to be patient and give him space but truthfully he's gotten pretty mean and neglectful. He seems annoyed with me all the time, refuses to compliment me at all and doesn't want to show physical affection. He gets upset whenever I plan anything on his days off so Ive just started going out with friends instead. I have social anxiety and sometimes ask for reassurances that he's not upset or that I haven't insulted someone else. He has been making fun of me asking to the point of making me cry a few times now. I really don't know how long I can keep riding this out. I have always been very supportive and I have been taking extra shifts at work to give him space. We have talked about it some but all that's changed is he's tried to tell me he loves me more often. I just feel very unwanted. I know it's the stress from his job because it's a complete 180 from how he normally acts. Its hard to find a time to talk bc he is gone so much and when he comes home hes exhausted. It's getting to the point where I just hope he's not home when I get there so I don't have to walk on egg shells. Am I asking too much and should just wait for this to eventually get better or should I force a conversation about it when I know he's exhausted and stressed?
Military bf is under alot of stress at work, seems to be making him short and rude with me. Not sure how long I should just ride it out or how to talk with him about it and be sensitive to the stress he's under.
t3_54ijmw
relationships
Me [24 F] with my bf[26 M] struggling to stay together
I am a full time graduate student and will be graduating this year. He is the sous chef at a restaurant. Our schedules could not be more opposite. We bend our backs to be together. Our professional lives are extremely stressful and we have had recurring issues, independently in our personal lives (financial, parent has cancer, living in a city we do not want to live in anymore, different friend circles, etc.) We have tried to make it work but it seems that we keep fighting to stay together, literally. We have been together for six months and are deeply in love. We want to make it work. We are in love and we have both been in serious relationships in the past so we are not naive or infatuated. Question: should we try to push through the tough times until she graduates (10 weeks)?
2 people in love with schedules and barriers that make it nearly impossible to work, to push through or not
t3_28qr9s
relationships
I'm [23F] need help with my boyfriend [25M] 3 months, I cheated on him with his bestfriend
Well i say boyfriend he broke up with me when he found out but that's besides the point I was really close friends with him before he asked me out we knew everything about each other and I could talk to him about anything one night where we were both drunk we ended up talking and I admitted I had feelings for him. anyway fast forward to what's happened is I agreed to meet him I met one of his friends (we'll call him steve) we hit it off immediately with steve I would stay up late to talk to him and meet him every lunch break I had work. My boyfriend was desperate to see when ever he could but by this time I realized was in a relationship I didn't want to be in so I tried avoiding just being around him the hopes he would break up with me so I could save his feelings by not having to break up with him. soon after all this He went on holiday whist he was holiday I started to see Steve more and one night it happened I'd cheated on him. Steve then went and told my boyfriend at the time what'd happened we had a long chat and I felt really shitty so much I went out and slept with one of his work colleagues the next day he also found that out he's really angry at me and i want him to be my friend also steve rejected me saying he was after some one else
I cheated on my boyfriend with his best friend but I want to keep as a friend what do i do
t3_1uar49
relationships
Two guys liked me and the cocky/arrogant one called "dibs" on me. I really want the other guy though. Would I be a bitch if I went for him? [F24][M25]
I'm in a really shitty situation. I'm [F24] in college and I met these two guys [M25] recently. They're not best friends or anything, but they tend to hang out in the same group. Anyway, they both liked me, which I didn't know about until just recently. I've been dating one of them for a couple of weeks and I'm not that interested in him, so I plan on ending things tomorrow. He's a little too cocky and arrogant, which is a complete turn off. He told me that his friend had a huge crush on me back when we met, but he called "dibs" on me first, so his friend had to back off. This pisses me off because the other guy is definitely my type and we've got a lot more in common. When he walks into a room, he's confident, but a little reserved. His friend is the polar opposite. He's cocky and he thinks he's the life of the party. I hate that. Definitely not my type. So, how soon can I go after the one I actually want? What do I say to him? Should I call or text?
I want to date the other guy and don't know exactly what to do.
t3_2ia5pp
loseit
[SV] My scale didn't recognize me today
I've been working out for the last two months, strength training 3 times a week and keeping a strict diary of my workouts. Thing is I was only seeing changes in muscle growth and I still had a beer gut and just wasn't losing fat. After lurking loseit I decided to get a Withings scale and track my eating habits to the T. Doing this I found where I could cut each day and I broke my plateau today by losing lbs this week! The Withing scale lets multiple people create accounts, so my gf uses it as well. I weigh myself only on Saturday mornings and this week it wasn't sure if it was me or my gf, I had to choose! Thanks for the motivation and what you do here.
My Withings scale didn't know it was me and made me tell it if it was me or my gf on the scale since I had broke my plateau.
t3_2i5hlo
dating_advice
[22F] I'm only shy around shy guys I like who I suspect might like me back!
Recovering shy girl. I was slightly chubby and awkward and high school. I moved around a lot and despite having the occasional crush or guy crushing on me, dating wasn't a thing that happened for me. Now I'm in a more stable living situation, I guess thank puberty because I lost a lot of weight and acne cleared up so I seem to get looked at way more often (I mean I'm not like a 10 or anything, but I get mostly good comments). I'm not nearly as shy as I used to be and starting conversations isn't hard anymore. Well, I've gotten good at detecting when I'm being flirted with or if someone is attracted to me. If I like someone and I don't get a vibe they feel the same, it doesn't bug me too much and talking to them still isn't hard at all. If I get your conventionally attractive looking stranger flirting with me I might even flirt back because it's fun. If a guy I'm not interested in flirts with me I'm still outgoing and friendly with him. I even flirt with straight girls sometimes. My personality change seems to have made me a natural flirt. But as soon as I find a guy I like who seems to be on the shy side , at least while talking to me, and I have a good feeling they like me, I get these intense butterflies in the stomach and forget how to speak. Even saying hi or smiling is a major struggle. The more clear it becomes to me that they like me and the shyer they act, the worse it becomes for me. It's kind of sabotaging everything for me when it comes to landing guys I like who I actually have a chance with. What can I do???
I'm literally only shy around guys who I think like me back and act shy around me. The more I suspect they like me and the shyer they are, the shyer I become. Why the fuck and how do I overcome this?
t3_2h93sd
relationships
Me [18 M]. my girlfriend [17 F] of 8 months turns lesbian?
when we started dating I new she was bi sexual. she told me that right away. now after 8 months of being together she wants to break up with me because she thinks she is a lesbian. she has told me that she doesn't like anyone in particular. and does not have an affair with anyone else. we are taking a break now, but I think she does not want me back. she is saying that she still loves me but just cant have an relationship. she is the girl of my dreams and i do not want to lose her.
My girlfriend may have turned lesbian and i don't know what to say or think or what to do.
t3_13urfx
BreakUps
My (M37) Ex (F32) will not respect my requests to stop contacting me even after a year.
We broke up a year ago almost to the day, and throughout this entire past year, I've tried to move on and forget about her, maintained no contact, but she simply keeps calling/texting me. I know, there's a simple solution, don't pick up the phone/answer texts/keep the same number. That's not the point here. The point is I have explicitly and very bluntly told her to get the hell out of my life, I want nothing to do with her and all she is doing is destroying what progress I've managed to make every time she contacts me. I will admit that I may harbor feelings for her, but she is toxic for me and I know I can't go back to her regardless of what she wants, but I think part of the reason I have these lingering feelings is because she has not given me adequate space/time to get past them, and I don't think she wants me to get over her. Even though she has some other guy that she's seeing, she is the type of person who needs security, and I don't think she wants to let me go because I am that security for her, and that is completely selfish to keep me strung along like that. The longest stretch of no contact I was actually able to get from her was 2 months, and I honestly had gotten to a point that I was starting to feel ok, and then out of nowhere, she pops up.
Ex will not respect my request for no contact, and I'm not sure how to proceed.
t3_3ytorl
relationships
My [F24] boyfriend's [M20] mother told him to be careful of me because all that Latinas want is "to get married and have lots of babies"
Basically my boyfriends mom told him to "be careful of those Latina girls, all they want to do is get married and have lots babies". She didn't say it in a joking way, she was completely serious. Now, this shocked me. It shocked me because she knows I am in a very intensive engineering program, along with her son, so obviously I am not all about "getting married and having babies". She has since made a few comments which point to the fact that she doesn't like me. My boyfriend tells me that she's never liked any of his girlfriends and has always acted like this towards them. He has told me that she has tried to sabotage every relationship he's ever been in. Now today I was talking with my mom and made the mistake of mentioning what his mom said (about getting married and having kids) and my mom was LIVID. She was incredibly angry that she would make such a comment stereotyping all Latina women. Specially because my mom is very career driven, and she has always taught me that I need to have my own career and that I need to be independent and not rely on anyone else except myself. What my boyfriends mom said was a huge slap in the face, considering how my mom has raised me. I don't want this to ruin my relationship with my mom or my boyfriend, does anyone have any advice or has anyone been in a similar situation? Thank you!
Boyfriends mom said some racist comments about me, I told my mom about said comments, don't want to ruin any relationships over this.
t3_ui37t
AskReddit
What has been your worst "it's not what it looks like" moment?
I was waiting on a flight home and a semi intoxicated woman ( hot, young) hands me a drink that another man bought for her ,she was holding two drinks. We had to board and the guy left, so she thought I could drink it quickly before boarding since we can't take the alcoholic drinks on the flight. "sure" , why not". She sat next to me on the Southwest flight and was chatting the whole time about her boyfriend and shit ( I'm married btw). Just as we are planning to land she's primping and spraying her neck with perfume, she looked at me then sprayed me too. The awkward shocked look I gave her didn't register for a second or so. I smelled like this woman now! She apologized and rushed off the plane as soon as we landed. I was in a panic since I now smelled like this woman and the family was coming to pick me up. I did what I could in the bathroom and got in the car when they pulled up. My wife immediately looked at me and just stared. No bueno. I explained when we got home how it was all a innocent mistake.
a hot drunk chic sprayed me with her perfume by accident on a plane home and I had to explain the the missus it wasn't what it looked like.
t3_4q9c4u
relationships
Me [26 M] with my GF [22 F] of 5 months fought about how I have to sleep with the TV on and she can't stand it.
I have always, since I was a kid, had to sleep with the TV on in the background. My mind races at night and I can't stand not having something to focus my mind on while I fall asleep. I start focusing on my breathing, thinking worst-case scenarios, etc. My girlfriend and I recently moved to Florida together from Georgia. It is our first time living together. Apparently, she cannot sleep with the TV on and waits until I fall asleep to turn it off and then goes to sleep. Last night, I fell asleep on the couch. She wakes me up and tells me to come to bed. I go to bed and turn the TV on. She says not to and that it gives her a headache and that she's tired and wants to sleep. I say I can't sleep without it. She gets up to go sleep on the couch. Obviously, I am not going to make her sleep on the couch so I turn it off. It takes me forever to fall asleep and I am tired this morning. Ironically, she complained this morning about me taking her blanket in my sleep and how she couldn't sleep last night because of it. How do I compromise on this?
I sleep with TV on, girlfriend can't stand it, I can't sleep without it, we share a room.
t3_gc9cx
relationship_advice
Am I an idiot, or should I start getting lonely?...or cats?
Alrighty, I'm just looking for a bit of insight. I'm hoping that I'm just completely oblivious to some inner workings of dating and romance, but am fearing its something else. Here's what's up: I have never been liked. I know there's a bunch of people that have made it to 20-some and have never kissed/been kissed, but I'm a step below that. I'm creeping through my 20's and no one has ever showed a smidge of 'like' towards me. No kisses, no sultry glances, no pick-up lines, no cups of coffee, no anything? I'm not hideous, morbidly obese, cripplingly awkward, or psychotic. Rather, I'm athletic-chubby, have been called cute (by friends, not guys), am friendly, and am often funny. While my friends are upgrading boyfriends, getting married, and exchanging grisly details, I'm starting to wonder if I'm headed for cat-lady-hood. I'm lacking a first kiss, first hand-hold, first date, first ice-breaking conversation. No one, man or woman, has ever showed interest and I don't know why. So, anyone have a bit of helpfulness? A similar story (happy end?), a bit of advise, an insightful question? Or should I just start embracing loneliness?
I'm 99% sure I'm not repulsive, but I've never been liked/approached. Is this common? Am I impatient? Do I need to go on the 'offense'? Anyone have advise/similar story/insight?
t3_1t1sit
relationships
I [19M] am in a huge fight with my dad [51M] and I'm giving him the silent treatment. It's been 2 weeks. There's a twist though..
An argument broke out between the two of us yesterday. I was studying for finals, he was returning home from work. Once he enters the kitchen, he starts yelling and scolding me for not doing the dishes. Except the problem was, I had already done the dishes before he came home from work. There was one single cup on the counter top. I asked him if it was just the one cup that was the problem and he exclaimed no, it was all the dishes that he "had just rewashed." He was in the house at this point, for maybe 2 minutes. There's absolutely no way that he could have washed the dishes and dried them off in that time..silently.. and arranged them in the exact order that I placed them. Here's where it gets interesting. I move him to the side to wash the cup. He gets terribly angry. Screaming. Pulls out a **knife** and threatens me. He's pacing the kitchen. What do I do? I laugh. It's absurd. He threatened to kill me because I politely pushed him to the side.
My dad lies about doing the dishes himself and he pulls out a knife afterwards. I'm giving him the silent treatment and my other family members don't want to do anything.
t3_i9mf6
AskReddit
What's your most embarrassing mis-Fap ?
Inspired by [this] post. I was just about to finish, when I heard someone walking upstairs. I wasn't about to stop, but the footsteps got closer to my door. I heard the door handle go just as I was, finishing. In the blink of an eye I palmed the resulting goop and with lightning reflexes karate chopped it to by bedroom floor. In comes my dad, with a coffee. He Walks over to me, and places the coffee down. He only went and stepped in my Jizz, didn't he! He asked what it was, I blamed it on the dog, and we never spoke of it again.
Dad interrupted me fapping, and inadvertently stepped on my ejaculant.
t3_lnb6p
AskReddit
WTF is this sound?
So I noticed a lot of postings on youtube from around the world documenting this earth groaning sound and wanted to run it by Reddit. There are tons more clips on youtube, but here is a list of some the best quality ones. I found it interesting that it's the same sound and in different parts of the world. I tried my best to arrange them chronologically. Anyone else got some research on this sound that is happening across the globe? Tallahassee Florida, 3-09-2011.. Around 6:30 am.(funny to listen to the commentary) Strange sound in Kiev again Aug.11.11 Strange sound in Lviv Aug.17.11 Strange noises over southern Sweden Aug 20, 2011 (enhanced sound) More strange sounds from 08.2011, near Homel, Belarus Strange Sound during Game before the Earthquake Aug 23, 2011 (news clip) Ghostly noise at Tropicana Field while Joyce homer Aug 23, 2011 (crashed my comp) Weird Noise - Moscow - August 23, 2011 Strange sound in Odessa (Ukraine)Aug 23, 2011 Weird Noise South East England August 24th 2011 (audio only - meh) Strange Sound in Colorado Before Earthquake Aug 25, 2011 Strange sound in the sky - Curitiba - Brasil - Sep 1, 2011 Pretty good collection of all the sounds on youtube - The Telegraph sent a crack team of investigators and some equipment lying around the office, to find the source of 'the hum', a mysterious noise plaguing a Co Durham village at night. Unexplainable sound phenomena in norway 2011 Sep 13, 2011 This Girl did a good job of piecing together multiple videos its seems shes on top of it, little more on the conspiracy theories side: Strange sound - now in Denmark Sep 15, 2011
wired sound happening across the world
t3_34g1oy
relationships
Me [19M] with my girlfriend [18F] of five months, I'm tired of our relationship but I think she'll kill herself
So I met this girl in college, and I really started to like her. We ended up going out and stuff, then we started dating. Some background on her: she has family issues and had a really abusive boyfriend in the past and even before that she always had really low self-esteem. She cuts herself sometimes and she has already tried to kill herself twice. She says she's happier than she's ever been with me and I got her to stop hurting herself almost entirely. The issue is we've been fighting every two or three days for the past months, she complains about everything and she's revealed herself really clingy. I'm really tired of this, my focus on school has dropped, my grades are dropping, and all the fighting brings me really down. Thing is, I'm really afraid of breaking up with her because she sometimes says I'm the only reason she's still alive and I really think that if I break up with her she's going to do it. I really don't know what to do, help me please.
Suicidal girlfriend most likely killing herself if I break up with her.
t3_2as4sp
relationships
She says [22 F] is not ready for relationship after 2 months of dating me [27, M]
I met my dream girl through mutual friends 2 months ago during a hike. We hit it off tremendously and got close fast. Only thing was that she was hesitant because she was fresh off a long term relationship that had ended 1 month prior. We tried to take things slow because of her situation, but things progressed quickly. We got attached. We'd text and talk on the phone everyday and see each other 3-4 times a week, partially due to all the mutual friends we have. The problems started arising when we'd get intimate. She would freak out and say we were moving to fast and that she can't get physical with somebody so soon after breaking up with her ex, but she enjoyed spending time with me. So we attempted taking it slower, but it didn't work and she would always get overwhelmed the day after getting intimate and blow up on me. So after the 3rd or 4th time this happened we agreed to be friends. What sucks is that we both know we had a good connection, had a lot of similar interests and viewpoints, and if the timing wasn't off we'd be together. I am okay with giving her space, but I can't guarantee sticking around for when she is ready. How am I supposed to handle this situation? It has been two weeks and I'll still see her at social functions with our other friends. I'm still into her, but I can feel that our connection is gone and things are a bit awkward now. We still have great conversations and talk regularly, but I can't help to think that keeping her close will do more damage and blow my chances completely in the future. The hardest part is that we run in the same social circles and I will be seeing her occasionally either way. Should I be cutting her off or keep her close? What is my better move? I really do think I have a future with her, but really do not know what the better approach is.
Met my dream girl and hit it off on a level I had never felt. She decided she was not ready for a serious relationship bc of recent breakup and now were just friends. What do i do?
t3_3eob38
relationships
My [22f] girlfriend pays her little sisters 100$ phone bill every month when we can barely pay our own bills. She refuses to bring it up to her parents. [UPDATE]
Original post: So we talked it out, she brought it up with her mom. Her mother said she is going to ~~try to get~~ is getting a part-time job cleaning houses to pay the phone bill and other things for my gf's little sister. Once the contract is up she is going to switch to my plan. For the first month we still have to pay 50$ of it but then we will only have to worry about our bills. :) I think the best advice I received was to bring it up from a place of love. I care about her and her family, but want to make sure ours can thrive too. Putting a stop on these kinds of things now is going to make it a lot easier down the line. I don't mind driving her sister places, or letting her spend the night every now and then, or taking her to a movie with us. These are things I feel like we can do to keep the relationship between her and her sister together without taking on the financial burden. thank you guys, all the advice was amazing. I am going to start utilizing this sub more.
Gf's Mom offered to start (attempting) to pay her younger sister's bill. Definitely a start in the right direction.
t3_4mmm41
tifu
TIFU by trying to Kung fu kick over some chairs
This actually happened a couple years ago in 7th grade. So we had this chill teacher who would let us chill in her class room during recess if we didn't wanna head out. Well I live in Arizona so it would always get extremely hot outside and me and three of my friends just decided to stay in class and play catch in there, no one else really came in. Well one day the teacher left to go to the bathroom and once the door shut a lightbulb in my brain went off. I'm going jump off a chair do a sweet karate kick and land my feet in another chair. I don't know what made me think to do it but with the help of my friends I made a line chairs only about 5 long. Anyways i do a running sprint toward the chair to get more airtime and once I put my foot on the chair it moved throwing me off balance. I thought maybe I can recover so I jumped off of it, threw my leg in the air like they do in the karate moves except I didn't move my other leg and it caught the edge of the chair making me lunge forward face first in the middle of some chairs. I put my arms out to dampen my fall, my arms fall in between two chair I hit the ground absorbing all the shock with my left arm then as I was falling my face hit the seat part of the chair giving me a bloody nose. My teacher Walked back in at that moment to see me lying on the floor chairs around me, blood coming out of my nose, and my friend surrounding me asking if I was okay. I ended up breaking my ulna in 3 places and having to wear a cast for a long time and got my teacher in trouble, we couldn't chill in there for recess anymore and also have a tiny scar on my nose .
tried to karate kick over some chairs and ended up breaking my wrist in 3 places and getting a small scar on my nose
t3_1uo6i4
relationships
I [21 M] broke up with my [18 M] boyfriend of a couple months, and I'm worried that I/he might spiral
I broke up with my boyfriend today. I love him, he's an incredible guy who I'm glad I met but it wasn't working out. We were just too different. He resisted at first but eventually realised that I'd made up my mind. It was hard to gauge how he was really taking it as it wasn't done face to face. In all honesty I don't think I could have done it face to face. I've broke up with guys in the past, but one look at his little face and I know I would have changed my mind. The relationship was great, it was just inevitably headed down a road that I have been down many times, and I wasn't prepared to go through that again, so I ended it on a high note, before things turned sour. Anyway, I've had severe depression for which I have been medicated in the past, and my boyfriend (now ex, I guess) is currently depressed, and he was pretty bad at one point. Normally I would want to help him through anything but obviously that isn't an option as it's best I keep my distance for now, and I'm worried that when it hits me I'll spiral too.
Any advice on how to stop depressed folk from spiraling after a break up, and how I can help stop him from spiraling from a distance?
t3_3ydov4
tifu
TIFU by being a bad wingman
Myself and a good mate are very similar but by no means are related in anyway. In fact, we are so similar that people have given us a name to reference us both, he is #1 and I am #2. Anyway my poor old mate hasn't had the best luck with ladies. Never had a girlfriend and still has those poor old V plates (despite having chances to lose them (never drink to much kids)). Anyway, a girl that i was good friends with in highschool (never hooked up/dated/anything with her but still talk) posted a photo about asking for a new years kiss. Now I live with this guy and look out for him obviously cause he is lonely and what not. When I saw the post I inboxed her straight away, trying to starting maybe lining my mate up, get them to the same party and I don't know, hoping something happens. Anyway about half an hour past by and look, I am pretty confident that this is going well. Like she is using flirty emojis about the whole context, seems half interested and I thought I'd worked some absolute magic. However, upon re-reading all the messages as I wasn't really paying that much attention (Cricket was on), I realised my fuck up. The girl had thought I was talking about hooking up with me and not an actual "mate" the entire time! Every single question she asked about this "mate" I was going to hook her up with, the correct answer for him without obviously giving his name was also the correct answer for me. example: she goes "did i go to school with this guy?" Now she went to his highschool with him for a bit and then moved to my school and finished up there. Now she went to bed and sent me a few kiss emojis and look. I know I've fucked up. I was meant to be lining up my mate who needs a NYE kiss more than me. I can cover myself fine and find someone but he struggles. Obviously I am still going to try but I feel like the purpose has lost its full meaning
Instead of lining my mate who is almost identical to me with this girl for a NYE kiss, I've managed to line myself up instead
t3_1l5rcu
relationships
Me[38M] with my GF[34F], is it normal to not mention your partner in this way?
I am just trying to figure out if this is normal or what might be going on. I have been with my gf for three years now. Every single time we are together and she gets a phone call, she'll tell the other person "I'm driving to so and so" or "I'm cooking dinner" or "I'm doing [whatever we, the two of us, happen to be doing at that moment]." She never mentions me. This is not an occasional thing, it's every single time. It's kind of weird to me, I would always say "GF and I are heading to so and so" or whatever.
Is it normal not to mention your partner to a caller while you are with the partner?
t3_1f3k2f
relationships
I (M,17) got a date with the wrong girl (F,17)
I had a crush on this girl in my grade, we'll call her "Emily", over a year ago. At the time I didn't try anything because I was a bit overweight and suffering depression, my only positive attribute was a sense of humour and I would joke with her in class but that was it. Over the past year I've changed a lot of things in my life from the people I hang out with to my eating/exercise habits and with the help of /r/malefashionadvice I think I look pretty good now and have gained a lot of confidence. I haven't really seen her much at school this past year because we haven't had any classes and there's a few hundred people in my grade. yesterday I was walking around town (something I never used to do) when I came across Emily walking with her friend "Nicole", I remembered my crush and decided now was the time. Emily recognized me and we stopped and chatted on the side walk a bit. She said I looked really good, I complimented her dress, etc. I said something along the lines of "Do you girls wanna go get some tea?", (bubble tea is really popular among the teenage girls where I live, I'm not a big fan personally but whatever) they accepted my invitation and we walked downtown. We had tea, talked, joked, etc. and I was ecstatic, things had never gone this well for me. I planned to ask Emily out for a date on the walk back but Nicole asked me out in the cafe (or bubble tea shop or whatever). I couldn't really say no and ask Emily out right after and I never had been asked out by a pretty girl before so I said yes. Nicole's not bad or anything, she's really nice and some would say she's prettier than Emily but still I had an old crush on Emily. Now I'm going to a movie with Nicole on friday but really I wanted to go out with Emily and I have no idea how to turn this around without looking like a jerk.
Got asked out by my crush's friend, want to go out with crush.
t3_3gx2ml
relationships
Me [22F] with my boyfriend [22F] of 6 months, me having nightmares
Trigger warning: Rape, assault, abuse _______________________________________________________________________ I guess I should start my saying that this guy is the first who hasn't been physically/emotionally/sexually abusive towards me. He cares, a lot. But I don't know how to tell him about what happened to me in the past. I have nightmares about my first boyfriend (who raped me repeatedly during our relationship), I have nightmares about my other exes (all of whom were abusive in some way). When I wake up in the middle of the night, sweating and shaking and crying and he asks what's wrong; all I can tell him is 'bad dream'. I'm terrified that he'll eventually leave. He'll get sick of me waking up in tears. So I cling too tightly and I feel like I'm suffocating him. I feel like, if he doesn't leave, he'll cheat on me. He'll get bored of the panic attacks I have during sex (even though it's completely consensual with him and I have never once felt pressured into it with him). He'll find someone with less issues. Also, I have had therapy. I am on meds for the depression and anxiety. I know I should tell him, but I don't know how to. He needs to know what happened to me, and my therapist thinks that it'll make our relationship stronger but I don't want to burden him. Please help... I'm so scared to lose him that I switch between clinging too tightly and pushing him away.
Past abuse; hard to talk about with current non-shitty partner. He should know. How do I tell him?
t3_2jd1pw
relationship_advice
I think a girl i really like is interested in me, but i am so lost as to how to approach this situation..
So me and this girl get along really well, we both have similar interest, and every time i see her around town she yells my name and acts exited to see me. She is a friend of a friend, and we occasionally hangout together with said friend, but that friend no longer lives around here. She told facebook she was quitting the site, and she wanted people to text her instead. I decided to take advantage of the opportunity and i sent her "Hey! Its ____", she responds "uhhhh last name?". I didn't feel comfortable responding at the time so i just ignored it like a pussy. This was a week ago and i pretty much lost hope for a conversation and forgot about it, until yesterday she send me another message. Something along the lines of "hey i thought this was my other friend, this is (my name) right? sorry if i seemed rude when i said that" Then we catch up and talk for a bit over texting and i tell her we need to hangout in the near future, she says she's down for that! Do you think a girl would do this if she was just being friendly? Or does it sound like she's into me? She also took a pretty long time to respond to each message.. like she was thinking of what to say, and i know she wasn't busy. We were just talking about what we do all day, basically, it wasn't too personal or exiting. She lives in the town over, so its going to be difficult to arrange plans to hangout, but im going to try to think of something. Just looking for advice because i dont know what im doing! Ive never been in a real relationship, we are both 18, im just scared of fucking this up. Feel free to ask me any questions.. i seriously appreciate anybody who takes the time to read this or respond, you guys are the best..
I text her saying my name, she asks last name, i ignore. A week goes by and she text me again, apologizing for sounding rude. Need advice on where to go from here
t3_12b40d
relationship_advice
Girlfriend is away and the relationship with my lady friend could compromise things. Help?
Throwaway because my friend is a redditor. My girlfriend had to leave the country for a temporary job and I won't see her for another 8 months. Around the time she left I befriended a lady and we've really hit things off over the past few weeks. I don't have many friends and almost everything I used to do I would do with my girlfriend whether it's grabbing froyo late at night or a quiet night out with a glass of wine. The issue is that with the girlfriend out of the picture this new friend has suddenly been part of these activities and we spend a LOT of time together now. I love my girlfriend and I don't want to do anything that would compromise our relationship (whether perceived or actual) but I feel like I'm spending too much time with this girl and am getting too emotionally attached to her. This may be problematic for me because right now I'm faced with a lot of stress from work, family, and my own health which leaves me with a sense of emotional vulnerability which might lead me to compromise my friendship with this girl and my relationship. I don't consider myself to be the most charming man by any stretch but this girl looks up to me and thinks very highly of me as a man; she's made remarks in the past such as "you're a perfect and well-rounded guy" or "I wish more men could be like you" and I feel this may be something I could exploit if things were to ever escalate. The likelihood of any of this happening is very low but I'm not one to take risks. What I feel is the best course of action is to prevent things from going further and to ease up on how much time I spend with her and try to place certain conditions on what I can/cannot do with her (for example, avoid spending time with her alone at her place). My question is two fold, would it be an appropriate move to limit how much time I spend with her? If I do, should I try to do this quietly or have a sit down with her and explain all of this?
Girlfriend gone, getting close to new lady friend, scared I might get too close. Should I try to distance myself, how, and if I do should I tell her?
t3_25zm4u
relationships
Not a huge issue, but how do I 20(f) tell my boyfriend 22(f) that I'd like him to work out/be healthier without being a dick?
Just thought I'd say my boyfriend is not in any means fat, he's quite skinny actually and a little insecure about that (particularly his arms). This is not about weight loss or anything, just for the sake of his health and my own. In the last year or so I've pretty much decided to eat healthily and get fit; I dropped a stone, actually eat 5+ a day, ran 7 miles of a marathon as part of a team yadda yadda. Thought I'd add that I was never fat, just not toned in case anyone thinks I'm projecting. My previous diet wasn't packed with fast food either, it just wasn't good food. My boyfriend eats relatively well most of the time but is prone to eating fast food maybe once a week or crappy food a few times a week (oven pizzas, that sort of thing). He also doesn't work out at the minute. You couldn't tell though, he's always been slim, he has fast metabolism. He could tone up though which would ease his insecurities. His body has never been an attraction issue though. However, in a few months time we'll be moving in together and I'm worried his lifestyles habits will rub off on me and I'll slowly go back to my old ways and get a bit lazy. How would you go about asking someone to eat healthier/work out without playing on his insecurities or being a dick? I'm also a little worried he'll put on weight over the years which probably would cause an attraction issue. Personally, I don't think I could go out with someone who doesn't take care of themselves especially if I do.
How do I ask my boyfriend to work out/be healthier without hurting his feelings? Moving in together soon and I don't want to fall back into my previous (sort of) unhealthy lifestyle
t3_rnq92
AskReddit
My birthday was 2 days ago, and it was by far the shittiest I've ever had. Gimme your best shitty birthday stories, Reddit!
Oh God, where to start... A few days before my birthday, I lost my job for a bunch of really stupid reasons. It was encouraging to me that everyone stood by my side, though, including my boyfriend and his family. My boyfriend was acting kinda distant, but apart from that he was being very supportive. It wasn't anything too noticeable. Fast forward to the celebration itself. I planned something kinda small (just me, a couple of really good friends, and a relatively new friend). My boyfriend came to pick me up and was obviously intoxicated. I was annoyed, but I brushed it off. He then proceeded to drive me around the whole night like a maniac (this included doing donuts in parking lots and driving over medians). The night was awkward anyways because what I had planned for everyone to do ended up not being very much fun, but his behavior was making things a lot worse. On the way home, I kept asking him if I could drive and he kept insistently saying no. At this point I was livid. I couldn't believe what was happening. The worst was definitely yet to come, though... Once we got to his place, he admitted to me he was an alcoholic and closet cocaine addict the ENTIRE time we were together. This made me extremely angry because addiction was the reason I broke things off with my previous ex. I even told him addiction was a huge no no for me when we first got together and he said it wouldn't be a problem! He also said he never intended on getting treatment so if I didn't like it we should just break up.
I lost my job a few days before my birthday. My "now ex" showed up to my birthday celebration drunk, drove me around drunk, embarassed me in a front of friends, admitted to being a cocaine addict the entire time we were together, then tried to convince me I was overreacting when I got upset.
t3_ih79w
relationship_advice
Advice for a fairly new young couple about to move in together?
So me and my girlfriend are looking for a place together. We communicate extremely well and every obstacle we've come up against, we've been able to work through by talking and being 100% open about it. We've only been dating about 4 months and we know it's a little crazy, but it just feels right and crazy and fast seems to work for us. This is the first time either one of us has moved in with a significant other and even though we're ready to do this, we're wondering if any redditors have advice for us. Tips and tricks? Anything that could help us prepare for this?
4 month old couple, crazy in love , ready to move in together, any advice from redditors?
t3_4zxx5d
askwomenadvice
No touching after orgasm / Nauseous after nipple-play
Hello Women! I've been seeing a woman in her mid-twenties for about a month who experiences sensations I'm not familiar with, and am hoping someone here can lend some insight. A few important notes up-front: We're new partners, have had sex together a handful of times now. She's not as experienced as I am nor is she as open to talking about sex. She's even stated that she'd rather "just do the thing" instead of talk about it first. I understand the discomfort comes from being intimidated and inexperienced, and have been easing her into talking about the things that make her uncomfortable. I'm 40, male, and have mostly been in long-term relationships, though for the past year have had multiple partners. All in all my sex life has been pretty healthy, and I take great interest in pleasing my partners. Corny as it may sound, sex to me is less about the destination and more about the journey. Now for the "Ask" part: What's baffling to me is two-fold: 1) playing with her nipples makes her nauseous, no matter how gentle I am. It happens rather quickly. Not to the extent that she will start heaving or gagging, but the sensation will make her nauseous. I don't know if this matters but she's usually laying on her back when this happens. 2) She orgasms very quickly, which itself isn't a problem. It's what comes after: she can't be touched or even breathed on for a good 5-10 minutes. She rolls away from me and stays that way until the sensation is gone. In all the partners I've had, I've never experienced either of these situations. I'm patient with her, and am willing to see this through. But even she doesn't know what this is all about. She apologizes and thinks it makes her a bad lover, which I think (and tell her) it doesn't. True that it's a little frustrating to me because I'm so used to touching and embracing after orgasms, but I want to help her figure this out. Any insight is greatly appreciated!
My partner can't be touched for 5-10 minutes after she has an orgasm, and gets nauseous from having her nipples played with. Wondering if anyone has experienced this and can lend some insight as to why it happens and/or what can be done to remedy it (for her sake).
t3_2tk1fd
relationships
I (26m) Cannot get good sleep with my gf (31f)
We have been going out for 3 months and I sleep over every every weekend for one night. I have not been able to get good sleep and I don't know what to do. We cuddle while going to bed, sometimes fool around, and then turn to opposite sides to sleep. So I'm in no different position than normal. But it's becoming a issue because I drive a hour back home and I'm so tired, I get home and I just fall asleep for hours because I'm exhausted. I have never slept with a partner, a cat or any pet for that matter. I'm afraid I will not be getting used to it and can't go on sleeping my weekend away. I'm just venting I guess or wanting to know if anyone has been in a similar boat and has done anything about it?
I cannot fall asleep with my so and it's annoying.
t3_lp7ku
AskReddit
Reddit, my friend is looking to work in the travel industry, any advice on how to go about it?
Some more background: he has been in audit (first external, now internal) for his entire career of 10 years and wants to switch. He has both his CA (Chartered Accountant, we're in Toronto Canada) and CFA designations. His search / switch is complicated by the fact that he's moved up from auditor to manager to director, so he's not looking for an entry level position... but he realizes he may have to take a lower job to get in. He wants to work in travel because he is very passionate about it. He loves taking trips, talking about it with people, helping friends plan vacations, etc. A clear transition would be to move into an audit type job within a travel company, but those jobs are far and few between. Any experiences, suggestions or ideas are appreciated!
what's the best way to get into the travel industry in a non-entry-level role without industry experience?*
t3_l3j2x
AskReddit
I witnessed a shooting; now subpoenaed to testify in front of a grand jury, what should I expect?
A little over a month ago, I witnessed a shooting in broad daylight (~7 pm) when I was getting ready to play pick up basketball. The shooter was only a few feet behind me, so I overheard the events which lead to him shooting at another guy (and into a crowd of people). While the courts were crowded that day, the majority took off and didn't come back. I came back (after running for my life upon seeing the gun) to get my bike, and a detective took down my info (along with 2 other witnesses who stuck around). From talking to the other two guys I gathered I was the only one who really saw it go down. Nothing came of this for about a month, but today, four detectives came by my house to talk shortly about the events and give me a subpoena to testify to a grand jury. I told the detectives the color of the gun, relative ages of the two involved, but that I couldn't remember what either looked like. I really don't think I would recognize him as he was an average looking African-american (I'm white) and I was focused completely on the gun when he pulled it. I'm wondering what I should expect from here on out and if I should be worried about testifying against someone (who I believe is gang related) who was stupid enough to pull a gun in broad daylight and shoot into a crowd of people? How likely is it that I'll end up having to testify in court? From my law and order experience (it's all I have!), I've been conditioned to be afraid of testifying against shady individuals. Talking to the grand jury doesn't bother me, but I worry about having to eventually testify in court with the shooter right in front of me.
Witnessed a shooting and subpoenaed to testify to a grand jury, what now?
t3_2ecbrw
relationships
Me [20 F] my bf of 10 months [23 M] doesn't really like talking about the future?
It would be nice to hear him talk about eventually (obviously not soon) wanting to move in together or get married. I'm not saying that we should after 10 months, I'm just saying it would be nice to hear that he sees me in his future. I tell him that I see him in mine, and he just says he likes to go with the flow and not talk about the future -- just let things happen. Does this mean he doesn't have plans to be with me in the future? Can he not see himself with me? What exactly does this mean, or am I over thinking things?
Boyfriend doesn't talk about our future together… does that mean he doesn't see me in it?
t3_4ei30u
relationships
[19 M] one of my best friends for the past 1.5 years [22 F] has stopped talking to me and I don't know why.
I met this girl about 1.5 years ago when I moved to university and we became fairly good friends, and I developed a crush on her (which I am now over). Just after Christmas, we suddenly started talking a lot more, texting every day, often into the night as well as seeing a lot more of each other at university. This went on for around a month and I'm starting to consider her my closest friend at university for the amount of time she is giving me. One Monday, I text her and get no response, fine maybe she's busy, so I think nothing of it (we had seen each other that day and nothing felt untoward). The next day I see her at the society we both attend and she blanks me, being much more cold and distant than usual. She lightens up by the end of the week and eventually normal service is resumed, the texting is slightly less frequent, but we still see each other regularly. Term ends, we break up to go on holiday and since then, I have had one proper conversation with her, on my train home. I don't know what happened, she explicitly stated before I went that she'd talk to me over the holiday and I've heard next to nothing. I feel that I'm losing someone I considered one of my best friends. I hate confrontation, so would like to avoid that if possible
Met girl 1.5 years ago, started talking a lot more recently. She suddenly stops contacting me and I have no idea why.
t3_2u5c47
relationships
Me [18 M] with my girlfriend [18 F] of 1.5 years, how to deal with impending pre-college break up?
My girlfriend and I are both seniors in high school, and we're going to different colleges in the fall. We're going into totally different fields and have different life plans. She wants to stay in our city (or nearby) to be close to family for pretty much the rest of her life, and I'm going to the east coast for school and will probably remain there at least through my doctorate. We're both very comfortable with communicating about this, and we've talked it over many times, and we've pretty much decided to break up at the end of summer. Even if it wasn't formally decided, there's just no way we could make it work- I don't think either of us wants to do long distance, and we both recognize that we'll both change as people in college, so it's probably best just to start fresh. As much as I think this is best for both of us, it's still giving me a little trouble emotionally. She was my first real love and serious relationship, we took each others' virginity, and we're really close. She's awesome. I come from a not-so-stable family life, and through therapy and being around her and her extremely stable family, I feel like I've been given the skills to maintain healthy relationships. I know it's dumb to get so into a high school relationship, but I can't help being affected emotionally. I'm not sure I have a specific question, but I could just use some advice about how to get over this and not let it hang over the last months of relationship so I can just have fun. I'd really just appreciate any comments that you might have that could improve my outlook on this. Thanks!
Girlfriend and I mutually decided to break up at the end of summer before each of us go to separate schools; I want this and know it's for the best, but how do I get over it emotionally?
t3_371clp
tifu
TIFU by telling a girl she was cute
So this happened earlier today. Around 8 hours ago when I was on my break from work. Only manged to write it and tell you guys now. Buckle up. There's this really cute girl behind the counter in Pound Bakery (A shop where they sell pastries and what not for you Americans) and I've started going there recently on my breaks for work because you can get 2 cheese and onion pastries for £1 (deal of the century) and keep seeing this girl which I found really cute. Now, I have anxiety and cannot talk to girls because I'll always have this feeling that I will be rejected every time I open my mouth to someone so I'm nervous and shy and have no confidence when it comes to girl but I had this Einstein of a moment and decided to tell this girl that I find her cute. I'm 19 years old as well. She may have been same age. Maybe 1 or 2 years older. She looked quite young. But anyways, I brought my shit and gave the usual "thanks" and "have a nice day" and before I turned away, (luckily it was dead so no one was in the shop) I managed to bring myself to tell her and say to her "You're really cute by the way" and she just looked at me and said "okay then" and turned around and went into the back. I felt like absolute shit and probably dropped my confidence levels from 0 to -1,000,000,000.
Took me a lot of balls and confidence to tell a girl she's pretty and she knocks my confidence levels to a worse level than they already were. Now I'm going to be living with cats when I'm older.
t3_wscpy
BreakUps
I really want to talk to her.
It's been over a year since she(23f) and I(almost24m) broke up and I still miss her. I was a jerk. I changed and she wouldn't let me prove it. We dated for about a year and a half. Things seemed okay but I think I just made too many insensitive jokes. After I watched my brother die, I was completely selfish and when we went on a break a few months later, I slept with another woman. I think I was just lonely but that's not a good excuse. There is no good excuse for that but I was lonely and sad so what ever. Don't get me wrong, the relationship went south due to both of us but I can't help but feel I contributed more than she did to its decline. However I also tried to show her my love, I was just too arrogant. I took her on trips and talked to her and all that but I think the arrogance nullified that. Like I heard her but didn't listen. I didn't spend enough time with her. She said that she does not want to talk to me at all and the mature person in me want to respect her wishes, but a mutual friend said some things that make the not so mature part of me still cling to false hopes. And my hopes are very false. I tried calling her once a few months ago, she told me never to call her or talk to her again. I've been good so far but it just gets harder and harder to listen to the voice of reason, especially when the voice of stupidity seems to have some good ideas. I just want to call or email or text her or something. I tried to get her back before and I feel like it almost worked. I poured my heart out to her, told her everything I knew I did wrong, told her how I would fix it. She teared up a little, then we parted ways and she answered me with a text message. She said no. How do I get over this? Or if you want to help my stupid side, how do I get her to talk to me again?
Miss her, want to get over her but I also want to get her back.
t3_2ifgo6
relationship_advice
Does she know I [18/m] like her?
I'm 18, and I've never in my life asked someone out. I've always been extremely shy, and I couldn't imagine anyone liking me. I signed up for a class recently, and there's this girl that I really liked. One day, she asked me how I performed on the exam, and from there on, I would make occasional small talk. On the last day of class, I talked to her for 20minutes while we waited for the rain outside to end before walking back to the dorms. We talked about random things like ebola, or why ____ internship sounds awful, etc. Before I left, I asked her, "Mind if I have your number, so that I could know how you did on the exam?" She replied, "Oh, sure! Here, just type it in the phone." She then handed me her phone so I could add myself to her contacts, then she texted me to make sure I gave her the right number. It's been 2 days now, and I haven't texted her back. What should I text her? Do you think she even likes me, or did she think I just wanted to know how she performed on the exam and that's it? Sorry for sounding stupid.
social autist thinks someone likes him.
t3_2s91zx
relationships
I [20m] am confused as to why she [21f] doesnt want to go on a second date.
I met this really amazing girl about a month ago at a christmas party. We have a mutual friend, and this girl was kind enough to drive us to the party. Anyways, we both hit it off very well, and eventually after we are both kind of drunk I walk her back to her place and give her a kiss goodnight. Luckily for me we happen to live in the same hometown, and so I asked her to the movies. We went and had a great time, she even texted me afterwards "I cant stop smiling, I had such a good time." The next time I saw her was on new years, although nothing happened because it was already after midnight when i saw her and i was with different people. (She told me earlier she was probably going to be out of town, and didnt tell me she was in town til almost midnight) I figured it was fine though because we texted later that night and she said "One of my friends thought you were cute." Ive tried to hang out with her since but every time ive asked she seems to be busy. I decided to just tell her i thought we had a really good first date and that i want to go on a second, and she hasnt bothered replying in more than 24 hours.
We hung out a few times and then had an amazing first date. I cant think of any missteps on my part, and now she wont even text me back about a second date.
t3_4uqhcx
Advice
What should I study if I want to help change the world?
Hey guys, I am a super confused college student. I am interested in environmental studies and changing the world, does anyone have any ideas on how to combine these two ideas? I really hate how the world works, where money is power, and people are left to struggle while others have insane amounts of money. I hate how we tarnish our environment just so these assholes can increase their greed. I want to bring the world together. I feel like this discussion could benefit more people than just myself as this is not an uncommon place to be in. I just had my first year at a university studying businesss and found it was not fulfilling. Super confused on how to move forward, does ANYONE have ANY ideas on what I should study?! I am probably going to get a masters degree too.
what are the best combinations of majors (possibly minors) and masters degree programs to study in college to get started on changing the world?
t3_2inzlr
relationships
My gf (20 F) always receives flirty messages (example below) from her guy friends showing direct interest in her, but she doesn't put down these advances. It makes me angry that these guys don't respect our relationship and it seems like she doesn't even care. What should I do (20 M)?
- My gf is attractive and she often receives messages from guys that are flirty - example "If you're boyfriend ever messes up I'll be there for you. You're the prettest girl in the world and you deserve the best" (cringe) - Her response "lol, I"ll keep that in mind. How was your day" (she doesn't seem to brush it off) - whenever she gets flirty messages, she just continues on with the conversation and doesn't tell them to stop texting her inappropriately like that since she's in a relationship - She keeps texting these people and doesn't tell them to stop texting inappropriately - We had a fight last night and I tried bringing up this issue by saying this "You don't know how to establish boundaries with people. By boundaries I mean telling people what's appropriate and inappropriate" - She still didn't get it. I have the password to her phone and she has the password to mine so she can see anything she wants. I was just using her phone yesterday and I got a flirty message from one of her guy friends. - I'm not sure how I should approach this situation, but I feel like she doesn't value our relationship (letting guys disrespect what we have going on and not saying anything about it)
gf gets flirty messages
t3_4hti51
relationships
Is she[20 F] attracted to me [22 M]
I'll try to make it as concise as possible. I have been talking to a girl online for 2 months now, I once approached her due to the fact that she resembled a model (emily ratajkowski) to me and I just wanted to mention it. I knew she had a boyfriend but still just couldn't keep the fact she kind of looked like her (to me) anyways I didn't really further a conversation with her since she is taken. Around 3 weeks later she approached me on social media and we started talking... and it's eventually becoming more and more and we ask better questions to ourselves now, not just the superficial stuff we used to ask the first couple weeks, we sometimes stay late talking, we send voice messages to each other, I've gotten a couple morning texts from her just saying "good morning", she went last weekend with her now 2 years boyfriend to six flags and she even texted here and there. I am really hesitant with her, I just don't try any move right now and probably won't be too obvious. What can I do to know if she's somehow attracted to me? How can I be subtle but at the same time let her know I would like to hang out more with her, I just want to develop our conversation into a bit more serious and know if something might happen sometime. I'm really not looking into a hookup but would rather have a gf, but I feel that trying to get my gf this way is bound to fail in the long run. Any suggestions appreciated.
what can a man try to know if a girl is interested when she has a boyfriend.