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Some people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups."
] |
>
I’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice."
] |
>
Imma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world....
I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds.
It's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf.
When I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails.
One my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other."
] |
>
I've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online."
] |
>
Like a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant."
] |
>
Says the lonely extrovert.
Us introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need.
Leave us alone. Hiss.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!"
] |
>
Idk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss."
] |
>
Yea but you can kinda do that at the bar
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations"
] |
>
Pubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar"
] |
>
i actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!"
] |
>
Have moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged."
] |
>
As an introverted northerner.... No
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends."
] |
>
If you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No"
] |
>
Nice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough"
] |
>
The world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business."
] |
>
no thanks
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now."
] |
>
As a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks"
] |
>
Just because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!"
] |
>
This is true
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely"
] |
>
Next time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true"
] |
>
Anytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol."
] |
>
Take a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place"
] |
>
I see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company."
] |
>
yeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing."
] |
>
Not a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human."
] |
>
It seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first."
] |
>
Division and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest.
If someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity.
People made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless."
] |
>
Hmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division."
] |
>
Yes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too
In the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political."
] |
>
Bars are literally designed for social interaction
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to."
] |
>
Not if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means "Don't try to talk."
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction"
] |
>
That's not even kind of true.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\""
] |
>
Don't fucking talk to me.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true."
] |
>
You need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me."
] |
>
Idk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue.
But much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers."
] |
>
Gross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time."
] |
>
LOL
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me."
] |
>
How else are you expected to meet people?
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL"
] |
>
At school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else.
Are you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?"
] |
>
Sometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.
Note: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?"
] |
>
The idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city."
] |
>
Apologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.
To make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as "places for lonely people to make friends/dates".
My best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?"
] |
>
That's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown."
] |
>
That’s an interesting concept
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends."
] |
>
This is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....
homo economicas is one lonely beast!
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept"
] |
>
Ew. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.
Alone does not mean lonely.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!"
] |
>
I'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely."
] |
>
Make it an option and its a good idea.
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[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote"
] |
>
I think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.
The airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea."
] |
>
Sometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social."
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Welcome to Italy
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it."
] |
>
i don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy"
] |
>
I stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day"
] |
>
Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason.
That being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……"
] |
>
Let me guess. You live in a city?
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will."
] |
>
I do! Right in the middle of one lol.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?"
] |
>
Yeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day.
It's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .
But you've been heavily influenced by city life.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol."
] |
>
I live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life."
] |
>
We need to bring back "third places"
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert."
] |
>
100%
The US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid)
I like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore.
I think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\""
] |
>
Hence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+"
] |
>
Do you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing"
] |
>
Think 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?"
] |
>
I probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.
However, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between "socialization welcome" to "privacy, please," and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations."
] |
>
That's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign."
] |
>
I second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area.
I think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!).
OP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people."
] |
>
Most people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!"
] |
>
I really like this take.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way."
] |
>
Not everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take."
] |
>
You can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.
Also, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage."
] |
>
Some people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you."
] |
>
Have you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like
"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it."
] |
>
normally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao"
] |
>
I wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :("
] |
>
Take my upvote, but leave me be.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them"
] |
>
I second this. 🙌
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be."
] |
>
Sit at the bar/counter.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌"
] |
>
You know this is actually a nice idea.
Like hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.
It's a win win.
People who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter."
] |
>
If it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't."
] |
>
The bar
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places."
] |
>
The Blue Oyster?
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar"
] |
>
Yeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?"
] |
>
Gave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk"
] |
>
I don't know if it's "unpopular" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt."
] |
>
What bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea."
] |
>
It's not the place that is social , it's the people .
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?"
] |
>
Having a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people ."
] |
>
Mostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t"
] |
>
Practice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable.
Could potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!"
] |
>
I can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it"
] |
>
I actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?"
] |
>
I had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life"
] |
>
I had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together."
] |
>
Yeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks."
] |
>
Someone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better"
] |
>
That’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life."
] |
>
I already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere."
] |
>
Lots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote."
] |
>
Some people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups."
] |
>
I’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice."
] |
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