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Imma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world....
I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds.
It's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf.
When I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails.
One my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.
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[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other."
] |
>
I've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online."
] |
>
Like a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant."
] |
>
Says the lonely extrovert.
Us introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need.
Leave us alone. Hiss.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!"
] |
>
Idk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss."
] |
>
Yea but you can kinda do that at the bar
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations"
] |
>
Pubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar"
] |
>
i actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!"
] |
>
Have moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged."
] |
>
As an introverted northerner.... No
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends."
] |
>
If you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No"
] |
>
Nice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough"
] |
>
The world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business."
] |
>
no thanks
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now."
] |
>
As a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks"
] |
>
Just because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!"
] |
>
This is true
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely"
] |
>
Next time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true"
] |
>
Anytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol."
] |
>
Take a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place"
] |
>
I see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company."
] |
>
yeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing."
] |
>
Not a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human."
] |
>
It seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first."
] |
>
Division and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest.
If someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity.
People made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless."
] |
>
Hmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division."
] |
>
Yes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too
In the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political."
] |
>
Bars are literally designed for social interaction
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to."
] |
>
Not if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means "Don't try to talk."
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction"
] |
>
That's not even kind of true.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\""
] |
>
Don't fucking talk to me.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true."
] |
>
You need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me."
] |
>
Idk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue.
But much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers."
] |
>
Gross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time."
] |
>
LOL
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me."
] |
>
How else are you expected to meet people?
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL"
] |
>
At school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else.
Are you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?"
] |
>
Sometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.
Note: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?"
] |
>
The idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city."
] |
>
Apologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.
To make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as "places for lonely people to make friends/dates".
My best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?"
] |
>
That's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown."
] |
>
That’s an interesting concept
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends."
] |
>
This is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....
homo economicas is one lonely beast!
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept"
] |
>
Ew. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.
Alone does not mean lonely.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!"
] |
>
I'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely."
] |
>
Make it an option and its a good idea.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote"
] |
>
I think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.
The airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea."
] |
>
Sometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social."
] |
>
Welcome to Italy
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[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it."
] |
>
i don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy"
] |
>
I stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day"
] |
>
|
[
"Definitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……",
">\n\nDefinitely an unpopular opinion, take me upvote. I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers or being bothered in public spaces. If I’m somewhere alone, chances are I either want to be alone, or I’m doing something I need to do and am just trying to get it done and leave. We’re certainly not ALL perpetually lonely. Many people enjoy alone time, and you’ve listed several different places that are popular for people to go / do by themselves for that reason. \nThat being said, your idea of having a designated space for people who DO want to socialize is an interesting idea. Like-minded people could convene in that area with the expectation of socializing with strangers, and those who don’t want to could go about their time unbothered. A win-win situation, if you will.",
">\n\nLet me guess. You live in a city?",
">\n\nI do! Right in the middle of one lol.",
">\n\nYeah that's a very city mindset to not understand the friendliness of people going past saying hello. Smiling and nodding or starting a casual chat for 5 minutes then getting on with their day. \nIt's okay. Not saying it's right or wrong. .\nBut you've been heavily influenced by city life.",
">\n\nI live in the suburb and grew up in a somewhat rural town. And i don't want to talk to strangers. I think it's more of a personality thing than where one lives. Kinda like introvert vs extrovert.",
">\n\nWe need to bring back \"third places\"",
">\n\n100%\nThe US has a serious lack of quality third places that aren’t trying to take your money at the same time. (Starbucks sorta tries but they’re also kinda expensive, and a lot of them aren’t the same after Covid) \nI like public parks as a concept but when the weather is bad the only people at them are homeless with no where else to go. Sometimes I’ll start a conversation with the homeless person anyways cause some of them have interesting stories. And some of them have a brain completely rotted by meth & no understanding of what’s actually happening around them anymore. \nI think bars in the US are supposed to be 3rd places but this does leave young people (18-20) with a conundrum of where the fuck to go to be social if all socialization/ adult events are locked behind an ID that says 21+",
">\n\nHence why certain bars do long table and bench style seating. Its already a thing",
">\n\nDo you just sit down and other strangers join you? Or is it a table you reservs in advance with friends?",
">\n\nThink 3 rows of tables with maybe room for 20 people on each side of a table. Obviously people tend to stagger thier seating initially. As the night goes on, and seating options become limited, people end up filling up all of said seats. Alcohol+people=drunk conversations.",
">\n\nI probably wouldn't use such a table because I prefer to be left alone if I'm dining by myself.\nHowever, an evolution of your idea could be a switch or a toggle at each sitting area/table that changes between \"socialization welcome\" to \"privacy, please,\" and when the person sits down, they just change the toggle to the appropriate sign.",
">\n\nThat's actually a pretty cool idea! Leave most tables as is so people can do their own thing if they want to, but keep that designated space for talking. More people would probably do it if there were a designated space and they didn't feel like they were bothering people.",
">\n\nI second this. I’m confused why so many people are saying this is an insane idea? Nobody would be forcing you to sit in the designated social area. \nI think a coffee shop/restaurant would be an awesome place for this. Yes bars exist, but there’s so many people that would benefit from cafes having this spot (sober people, elderly, people who just don’t enjoy loud bars!). \nOP this is a brilliant idea, and I can say as someone who’s self-employed, and not in university, as well as wanting to make more friends who aren’t mostly just drinking buddies, I’d totally be willing to try this out!",
">\n\nMost people don't want to meet random people in a 1 on 1 situation. They want to meet new people when they are already in a comfortable environment. It used to be the community you lived in was that comfortable environment. Urban sprawl, particularly in the western US, made sure communities died. We drive to and from our destination with no opportunity to meet people along the way.",
">\n\nI really like this take.",
">\n\nNot everyone is perpetually lonely, but for those that are it's fine to try to strike up a conversation as long as you respect their space if they don't want to engage.",
">\n\nYou can be chatty with strangers just see how they respond and act accordingly.\nAlso, make sure it doesn’t seem like you are hitting on them. That will make many, women especially, not want to talk to you.",
">\n\nSome people do not take the hint though. You have no idea how many people I deal with who will keep talking and talking despite me just giving short simple answers and facing away from them. Especially down south. But if I tell someone I don’t want to talk to them, they will get offended. So if body language doesn’t cut it, then I’m forced to either be rude or grin and bear it.",
">\n\nHave you tried lying and saying you're in a hurry to get somewhere or late for something? Be like \n\"I'd love to stay and chat with you but I'm late for work\" and proceed to speed walk away from them lmfao",
">\n\nnormally i do but if i'm stuck in a line at a grocery store and simply just wanna vibe i can't lie, it sucks :(",
">\n\nI wouldn't mind this but sometimes I want to be left alone and sit quietly and think. This could be a thing as long as people didn't get angry or judgemental if someone declined to participate in socializing with them",
">\n\nTake my upvote, but leave me be.",
">\n\nI second this. 🙌",
">\n\nSit at the bar/counter.",
">\n\nYou know this is actually a nice idea.\nLike hear me out, if you have this in those types of settings, then that means that you'll eliminate the problem of having strangers come up to you and talk to you when you don't want it.\nIt's a win win.\nPeople who don't wanna talk get left alone and avoid being disturbed, and those that do can find someone who also wants to talk to them without having to annoy those that don't.",
">\n\nIf it's a designated space and people don't *have* to sit there it's okay. I'd like to left alone in these places.",
">\n\nThe bar",
">\n\nThe Blue Oyster?",
">\n\nYeah I dont want to talk you though. I hate small talk. Most conversations with strangers is small talk",
">\n\nGave you an upvote, but really you just need some courage to talk to people. Most the time people just put up a wall because they are scared of getting hurt.",
">\n\nI don't know if it's \"unpopular\" as far as opinions... but y'know what? I think it's an absolutely spectacular idea.",
">\n\nWhat bars and concerts are you going to that it’s not socially acceptable to talk to strangers?",
">\n\nIt's not the place that is social , it's the people .",
">\n\nHaving a designated space to do this is a good idea, ppl will if they want and won’t if they don’t",
">\n\nMostly when strangers talk to me it’s unwanted and they’re men old enough to be my parents sometimes they can act friendly but it becomes clear pretty quick they’re weird and want more than just a friendly chat. I’m always cold/ignore to strangers because of this. I find strangers talking to me inappropriate been followed home multiple times, people on trains have acted inappropriately on three occasions all old enough to be my parents. It can be ok in environments like students chatting to other students even then it shouldn’t be one to one. If it’s someone my age I can brush it off if they leave me alone when they get the idea but funnily enough older people don’t. If your old enough to be my parents unless we are at work please please do not strike up a conversation trying to be friends/more!!!",
">\n\nPractice the phrase “no hablo ingles” to make your pronunciation believable. \nCould potentially backfire if you meet someone fluent in Spanish but if they keep going from there you got the right to be rude. Sometimes you gotta tell people to fuck off cause they just don’t (or don’t want to) get it",
">\n\nI can't imagine this catching on everywhere but maybe for a few specific areas, perhaps the patron could be given a sheet pertaining to a subject they want to talk about?",
">\n\nI actually like that idea! Socratic method in real life",
">\n\nI had an idea of a restaurant where parties are expected to share tables with other parties. Always feel weird taking up a 4 or 6 person table with just me and my wife. Would be interesting to fill those tables a bit more by putting groups together.",
">\n\nI had to sit at a table with people I didn't know on an Amtrak train. It sucks.",
">\n\nYeah I can see if not being good if you didn't sign up for it. In a setting where you're expecting it and embracing it hopefully it would be better",
">\n\nSomeone might be open to talk, but only with someone who looks right. Decades ago, people could make reasonable guesses about whether someone wanted to be bothered with eye contact & such. Mistakes were made, but that was life.",
">\n\nThat’s you man. You can talk to anyone you want anywhere.",
">\n\nI already hardly go out cause I’m scared of random small talk. This would make me an official hermit. Here’s an upvote.",
">\n\nLots of places are intended to be. It's just that they get enough regulars that a social group / clique forms and those very people start going to see their friends, as opposed to meet new people, and when new people do arrive, it's a stranger around an existing clique. Happens with bars, coffee shops, even events that are explicitly designated as places to meet people such as meetup groups.",
">\n\nSome people have terrible conversation skills. It’s only going to get worse the more isolated we all become. Like anything else, it’s a skill that requires practice.",
">\n\nI’m from NY. There are millions of people around. It’s considered polite to ignore each other.",
">\n\nImma upvote not because it's unpopular. But because it seems like most people on this site don't know how to act in the real world.... \n I've been on here for years only to have a forum to read about questions and get answers. But have recently been more active and noticed that mainstream Reddit user are like in their own worlds. \nIt's is common practice to strike of convos at bars. And at sport bars like Bubbas, Buffalo wild wings, etc. Coffee places are no exception. As long as they aren't looking like they are focused on school work, work, or hard into a book. Say hi and talk. One my best friends I met at a coffee shop. He was wearing a dashiki that had a particular style. It was a style only found in parts of Kenya. When I was military my team was stationed there. We talked about Kenya and he mentioned he loves this coffee shop because they get their Kenya origin beans from the same area he grew up... before I talked to him he was at a small table alone reading a random magazine from the shelf. \nWhen I was traveling. I met a guy at the bus stop and we talked until the bus came and we made our stops. Got his number. And we linked up few night later. And after then would link up to ride some trails. \nOne my best friends was met through a girl I met at the beach. She had a skim board couldn't use it. I showed her we hung out the day with he friend and boyfriend(he boyfriend didn't like me though). We became friends and would hang out when I visited the beach. One her friends was dating a guy and we bonded over military stories and to this day even though across the country talk atleast once a week playing games online.",
">\n\nI've always seen those places as places to meet people? Maybe it's just my extroversion, but I'm one of those people who strikes up conversation pretty much everywhere. But also, our friends have a bar, all the regulars are friends, we all come out for karoake, or bar games, or whatever. Part of their ethos is that all new people are welcomed, shown the ropes, etc. It works well for a few reasons, one being that this is a friendly fun place that doesn't tolerate assholery, and the other is to welcome new people and let them be able to enjoy the space and the people. If people want to sit alone, cool. But if you want to join one of the fire tables outside, or play pool, or get on the karaoke list, there always friendly people around to show folks how to navigate it, and make them feel welcome. I know not all places are like that, but they are out there. Most of my long term friends I met through just striking up a random conversation. Maybe we just found our people though, I dunno, but making a particular space for it seems redundant.",
">\n\nLike a “buddy bench” at elementary school playgrounds!",
">\n\nSays the lonely extrovert.\nUs introverts like our bubble, and we're not lonely at all. I see my family, my couple of friends, and my pets, and that's all I need. \nLeave us alone. Hiss.",
">\n\nIdk what you’re talking about I’ve met the coolest people at airport bars and we had great conversations",
">\n\nYea but you can kinda do that at the bar",
">\n\nPubs can be like this no? Take a book and start reading by yourself and I bet someone says something to you!",
">\n\ni actually love this idea because it also makes it very clear the people who don't want to be bugged.",
">\n\nHave moved to a new area in a big city due to affordability. I was scrambling to make friends as I felt very lonely sometimes. Started going to my local bar on weeknights when it is quite and made friends with the locals, who have friends who only go on weekends, who have friends that only come occasionally. Even if you don't drink bars can be a great place to start making friends.",
">\n\nAs an introverted northerner.... No",
">\n\nIf you try being social to attempt to kickstart that dream, that's awesome. If not, try it, if you want it badly enough",
">\n\nNice unpopular opinion! I definitely don't want to be sitting at a table drinking my coffee and have the expectation for small talk with some stranger. Smile and a nod is fine, but no need to come shoot the breeze with me if I'm minding my business.",
">\n\nThe world used to be better for that. I came from the era of some teens having pagers. Heck any vaguely alt kid could find some others and compare notes and drink terrible coffee at any Denny's, Perkin's, or 4B's after 10pm. Then there were the real coffee shops like the Last Exit where you could wander in, get something from the counter and end up talking to a half dozen people and getting a new acid plug inside an hour. Hell you could find strangers in parks and hang out. Music shops practically required small talk about music w/ half of everyone there. . .The world hated that shit, we have Reddit now.",
">\n\nno thanks",
">\n\nAs a severe introvert, I love this idea! That way, people who want to chat to others can sit with each other. We introverts can have our peace, and you extroverts can be social without worrying about bothering people. Win-win!",
">\n\nJust because you are alone in a public place doesn’t mean you are lonely",
">\n\nThis is true",
">\n\nNext time I want to socialize I'll head to the airport. I'll get a window seat and everyone will hate me talking the whole time lol.",
">\n\nAnytime you see a bar with stools. That is that place",
">\n\nTake a chess board or Go board with you. Make it obvious non-verbally that you are interested in some company.",
">\n\nI see why its an unpopular opinion. However the comments are gonna circle jerk around how they think OP needs to be more outgoing.",
">\n\nyeah as long as people aren't forced. im hella antisocial, if some stranger tries striking up a convo with me while im just tryna enjoy my coffee and draw, i will glare til they leave, read the human.",
">\n\nNot a big fan of your specific idea, but I am a big fan of where it's coming from and I think we'd all be much happier if community was one of our core values in the west. Unfortunately it's not, and individualism is always first.",
">\n\nIt seems like America has moved away from friendliness. I think manufactured division and social media has made people appear soulless.",
">\n\nDivision and social media did not make people appear soulless. People did. When people get online from the safety of the space on the other side of the screen, what they say is a direct reflection of who they really are. They have learned they can be their true selves on social media and not be punched in the face for the crap they let fall out of their mouths with the full power of their whole chest. \nIf someone walked up to you and said bubblegum pink, or something misogynistic, racist, anti rights, or any other repulsive but of word vomit, one would assume that situation wouldn't go well. Online, they can let fall out of their mouths, the full repulsion of the thoughts they wouldn't otherwise say out loud to someone they just met, and have the piece of mind of some measure of anonymity. \nPeople made people appear soulless. Not social media or division.",
">\n\nHmmmm I'm going to disagree. I never said social media made people more toxic. I said it made people appear soulless. I'm not talking about your various isms I'm talking about people literally being glued to a screen and unwilling to have conversations with strangers. Maybe what you're saying is correct but I'm not talking about that stuff. Perhaps your idea of the world is, rightfully, too political.",
">\n\nYes! Public spaces should have more seating positioned to face other ppl too\nIn the age of Doordash, if you don’t want to socialize, you don’t need to.",
">\n\nBars are literally designed for social interaction",
">\n\nNot if they're playing music. If they're making superfluous noise, if means \"Don't try to talk.\"",
">\n\nThat's not even kind of true.",
">\n\nDon't fucking talk to me.",
">\n\nYou need to go to “Pubs” in the UK or parts of Europe. They don’t even have music. I’ve sat in some and people just automatically talk to you especially if it’s heavily local and you’re the “stranger”. I thought it was cool I didn’t have to scream over some music or TV to have a nice conversation with someone and not expecting anything out of it other than to burn some time. The US tries to have pubs but they are overstimulated adult amusement parks usually that aren’t really conducive to talking to strangers.",
">\n\nIdk if this is so unpopular. I live on the east coast so it is so normal for 10k people to be on the street and all of us just ignore each others existence. When we do notice eachother it's mainly for light convo to mock something mutually or to argue. \nBut much like information, the ability to communicate so readily has made people less likely to do it. There is no craving for it cause it happens all the time.",
">\n\nGross. Everyone needs to stfu and mind their own business. I don’t want to speak with anyone and I don’t want anyone to speak to me.",
">\n\nLOL",
">\n\nHow else are you expected to meet people?",
">\n\nAt school, university, work, parties, through mutual friends? Like everybody else. \nAre you trying to tell me that Amercians make friends by talking to random people at a restaurant?",
">\n\nSometimes, yes. At least it's that way with bars.\nNote: I'm biased as I moved across the country with absolutely no one I previously knew traveling with me. I was basically forced to make new friends as an adult. If I didn't randomly speak to strangers, I would have never found friends in my new city.",
">\n\nThe idea of engaging in a conversation with a random person I don't know in a bar seems very weird to me. Why would anyone do that?",
">\n\nApologies if this is wordy, I wanted to be certain my point didn't come across as rude.\nTo make a friend. Some people are incredibly social in the US, and bars are typically seen as \"places for lonely people to make friends/dates\".\nMy best friend and I met each other at a bar and bonded over the fact that we both ordered the same drink. We had never met each other before then, but that's how socialization works sometimes. Particularly if you move far from your hometown.",
">\n\nThat's so weird to me. I'd never consider going to a bar alone. Bars are for spending time with your friends.",
">\n\nThat’s an interesting concept",
">\n\nThis is the reality of the atomization of the individual ala Adam Smith....\nhomo economicas is one lonely beast!",
">\n\nEw. What a horrid idea. Here's your upvote.\nAlone does not mean lonely.",
">\n\nI'd prefer individual booths so I can enjoy my drink/food in peace. Have an upvote",
">\n\nMake it an option and its a good idea.",
">\n\nI think it gets to be easier if you’re a regular at a place and you see certain people over and over again, and they start to recognize you. That’s what happened at my coffee shop. I say hi and chat with regulars that get coffee around the time I do. I don’t usually chat up someone I’ve never seen before unless there’s a reason or we’ve just witnessed something remarkable together.\nThe airport is really stressy. Last thing I wanna do at an airport is to be social.",
">\n\nSometimes I'm in the mood, like if I put a lot of effort into how I look one morning, then I guess subconsciously I crave a little positive attention for it.",
">\n\nWelcome to Italy",
">\n\ni don't think the concept of commonplace designated social spaces is inherently wrong, but all i'm imagining is the plethora of sexual creeps i've met that loiter at the local grocery store or gas station all day",
">\n\nI stan this. I’m constantly wondering (and therefore overthinking) just how much I should be trying to actually meet people at my gym especially. It’s mainly bc a lot of people seem to have the mindset of “I just wanna do my thing and gtfo”, but also why live life like that? It’s not like being home can be THAT much better than being out, right?……"
] |
If I was a student I would just want to get rid of Aramark for the food. My grade school used them and it always tasted like shit.
|
[] |
>
When I first started working at my school the food was actually “decent” they made staff lunches and most teachers would get it almost every day. The food the kids got was pretty standard school food, but it was fine. Then Aramark came in. No more staff lunches and while we are certainly allowed to buy food from the student line, I don’t know a single adult that would. It’s pretty awful.
However you know Aramark’s food sucks, but the contract the school signed is also super restrictive. Home economics teachers have a hard time ordering ingredients since all food purchases must go through Aramark. The school guarantees a certain number of days where lunch is served so all half days must have lunch even if the timing makes no sense. It even restricts how we handle emergency closures. Of course now the district doesn’t have to give any benefits to underpaid “lunch ladies” so it will never go away.
|
[
"If I was a student I would just want to get rid of Aramark for the food. My grade school used them and it always tasted like shit."
] |
>
My wife tried to be friendly with the trustees and she was effectively run out of the job for acting like they are human beings deserving of even the basics of human decency. This was in a prison though... Not sure about their school side 🤔
You cannot have a kind heart and work for Aramark, apparently.
|
[
"If I was a student I would just want to get rid of Aramark for the food. My grade school used them and it always tasted like shit.",
">\n\nWhen I first started working at my school the food was actually “decent” they made staff lunches and most teachers would get it almost every day. The food the kids got was pretty standard school food, but it was fine. Then Aramark came in. No more staff lunches and while we are certainly allowed to buy food from the student line, I don’t know a single adult that would. It’s pretty awful. \nHowever you know Aramark’s food sucks, but the contract the school signed is also super restrictive. Home economics teachers have a hard time ordering ingredients since all food purchases must go through Aramark. The school guarantees a certain number of days where lunch is served so all half days must have lunch even if the timing makes no sense. It even restricts how we handle emergency closures. Of course now the district doesn’t have to give any benefits to underpaid “lunch ladies” so it will never go away."
] |
>
School side and prison side are probably the same side.
|
[
"If I was a student I would just want to get rid of Aramark for the food. My grade school used them and it always tasted like shit.",
">\n\nWhen I first started working at my school the food was actually “decent” they made staff lunches and most teachers would get it almost every day. The food the kids got was pretty standard school food, but it was fine. Then Aramark came in. No more staff lunches and while we are certainly allowed to buy food from the student line, I don’t know a single adult that would. It’s pretty awful. \nHowever you know Aramark’s food sucks, but the contract the school signed is also super restrictive. Home economics teachers have a hard time ordering ingredients since all food purchases must go through Aramark. The school guarantees a certain number of days where lunch is served so all half days must have lunch even if the timing makes no sense. It even restricts how we handle emergency closures. Of course now the district doesn’t have to give any benefits to underpaid “lunch ladies” so it will never go away.",
">\n\nMy wife tried to be friendly with the trustees and she was effectively run out of the job for acting like they are human beings deserving of even the basics of human decency. This was in a prison though... Not sure about their school side 🤔\nYou cannot have a kind heart and work for Aramark, apparently."
] |
>
When my campus had them the truck's next stop after us was San Quentin prison.
Then we changed to a cheaper food supplier :(
|
[
"If I was a student I would just want to get rid of Aramark for the food. My grade school used them and it always tasted like shit.",
">\n\nWhen I first started working at my school the food was actually “decent” they made staff lunches and most teachers would get it almost every day. The food the kids got was pretty standard school food, but it was fine. Then Aramark came in. No more staff lunches and while we are certainly allowed to buy food from the student line, I don’t know a single adult that would. It’s pretty awful. \nHowever you know Aramark’s food sucks, but the contract the school signed is also super restrictive. Home economics teachers have a hard time ordering ingredients since all food purchases must go through Aramark. The school guarantees a certain number of days where lunch is served so all half days must have lunch even if the timing makes no sense. It even restricts how we handle emergency closures. Of course now the district doesn’t have to give any benefits to underpaid “lunch ladies” so it will never go away.",
">\n\nMy wife tried to be friendly with the trustees and she was effectively run out of the job for acting like they are human beings deserving of even the basics of human decency. This was in a prison though... Not sure about their school side 🤔\nYou cannot have a kind heart and work for Aramark, apparently.",
">\n\nSchool side and prison side are probably the same side."
] |
>
They reportedly were serving maggot and rat infested meals in Detroit prisons, as well as food taken out of the trash. You guys made the correct choice.
|
[
"If I was a student I would just want to get rid of Aramark for the food. My grade school used them and it always tasted like shit.",
">\n\nWhen I first started working at my school the food was actually “decent” they made staff lunches and most teachers would get it almost every day. The food the kids got was pretty standard school food, but it was fine. Then Aramark came in. No more staff lunches and while we are certainly allowed to buy food from the student line, I don’t know a single adult that would. It’s pretty awful. \nHowever you know Aramark’s food sucks, but the contract the school signed is also super restrictive. Home economics teachers have a hard time ordering ingredients since all food purchases must go through Aramark. The school guarantees a certain number of days where lunch is served so all half days must have lunch even if the timing makes no sense. It even restricts how we handle emergency closures. Of course now the district doesn’t have to give any benefits to underpaid “lunch ladies” so it will never go away.",
">\n\nMy wife tried to be friendly with the trustees and she was effectively run out of the job for acting like they are human beings deserving of even the basics of human decency. This was in a prison though... Not sure about their school side 🤔\nYou cannot have a kind heart and work for Aramark, apparently.",
">\n\nSchool side and prison side are probably the same side.",
">\n\nWhen my campus had them the truck's next stop after us was San Quentin prison. \nThen we changed to a cheaper food supplier :("
] |
>
We’re having homemade fried catfish, instant grits, collard greens, fried breaded okra and some black eyed peas for dinner and we always have enough for company!
|
[
"If I was a student I would just want to get rid of Aramark for the food. My grade school used them and it always tasted like shit.",
">\n\nWhen I first started working at my school the food was actually “decent” they made staff lunches and most teachers would get it almost every day. The food the kids got was pretty standard school food, but it was fine. Then Aramark came in. No more staff lunches and while we are certainly allowed to buy food from the student line, I don’t know a single adult that would. It’s pretty awful. \nHowever you know Aramark’s food sucks, but the contract the school signed is also super restrictive. Home economics teachers have a hard time ordering ingredients since all food purchases must go through Aramark. The school guarantees a certain number of days where lunch is served so all half days must have lunch even if the timing makes no sense. It even restricts how we handle emergency closures. Of course now the district doesn’t have to give any benefits to underpaid “lunch ladies” so it will never go away.",
">\n\nMy wife tried to be friendly with the trustees and she was effectively run out of the job for acting like they are human beings deserving of even the basics of human decency. This was in a prison though... Not sure about their school side 🤔\nYou cannot have a kind heart and work for Aramark, apparently.",
">\n\nSchool side and prison side are probably the same side.",
">\n\nWhen my campus had them the truck's next stop after us was San Quentin prison. \nThen we changed to a cheaper food supplier :(",
">\n\nThey reportedly were serving maggot and rat infested meals in Detroit prisons, as well as food taken out of the trash. You guys made the correct choice."
] |
>
No self respecting southerner eats instant grits
|
[
"If I was a student I would just want to get rid of Aramark for the food. My grade school used them and it always tasted like shit.",
">\n\nWhen I first started working at my school the food was actually “decent” they made staff lunches and most teachers would get it almost every day. The food the kids got was pretty standard school food, but it was fine. Then Aramark came in. No more staff lunches and while we are certainly allowed to buy food from the student line, I don’t know a single adult that would. It’s pretty awful. \nHowever you know Aramark’s food sucks, but the contract the school signed is also super restrictive. Home economics teachers have a hard time ordering ingredients since all food purchases must go through Aramark. The school guarantees a certain number of days where lunch is served so all half days must have lunch even if the timing makes no sense. It even restricts how we handle emergency closures. Of course now the district doesn’t have to give any benefits to underpaid “lunch ladies” so it will never go away.",
">\n\nMy wife tried to be friendly with the trustees and she was effectively run out of the job for acting like they are human beings deserving of even the basics of human decency. This was in a prison though... Not sure about their school side 🤔\nYou cannot have a kind heart and work for Aramark, apparently.",
">\n\nSchool side and prison side are probably the same side.",
">\n\nWhen my campus had them the truck's next stop after us was San Quentin prison. \nThen we changed to a cheaper food supplier :(",
">\n\nThey reportedly were serving maggot and rat infested meals in Detroit prisons, as well as food taken out of the trash. You guys made the correct choice.",
">\n\nWe’re having homemade fried catfish, instant grits, collard greens, fried breaded okra and some black eyed peas for dinner and we always have enough for company!"
] |
>
So how many minutes would it take to make your grits? Well perhaps the laws of physics cease to exist on your stove! Were these magic grits? I mean, did you buy them from the same guy who sold Jack his beanstalk beans?!
|
[
"If I was a student I would just want to get rid of Aramark for the food. My grade school used them and it always tasted like shit.",
">\n\nWhen I first started working at my school the food was actually “decent” they made staff lunches and most teachers would get it almost every day. The food the kids got was pretty standard school food, but it was fine. Then Aramark came in. No more staff lunches and while we are certainly allowed to buy food from the student line, I don’t know a single adult that would. It’s pretty awful. \nHowever you know Aramark’s food sucks, but the contract the school signed is also super restrictive. Home economics teachers have a hard time ordering ingredients since all food purchases must go through Aramark. The school guarantees a certain number of days where lunch is served so all half days must have lunch even if the timing makes no sense. It even restricts how we handle emergency closures. Of course now the district doesn’t have to give any benefits to underpaid “lunch ladies” so it will never go away.",
">\n\nMy wife tried to be friendly with the trustees and she was effectively run out of the job for acting like they are human beings deserving of even the basics of human decency. This was in a prison though... Not sure about their school side 🤔\nYou cannot have a kind heart and work for Aramark, apparently.",
">\n\nSchool side and prison side are probably the same side.",
">\n\nWhen my campus had them the truck's next stop after us was San Quentin prison. \nThen we changed to a cheaper food supplier :(",
">\n\nThey reportedly were serving maggot and rat infested meals in Detroit prisons, as well as food taken out of the trash. You guys made the correct choice.",
">\n\nWe’re having homemade fried catfish, instant grits, collard greens, fried breaded okra and some black eyed peas for dinner and we always have enough for company!",
">\n\nNo self respecting southerner eats instant grits"
] |
>
I love how any line from the movie I can hear in whoever's voice, with the exact ~~annunciation~~ enunciation and inflection.
Edit - I no spell good.
|
[
"If I was a student I would just want to get rid of Aramark for the food. My grade school used them and it always tasted like shit.",
">\n\nWhen I first started working at my school the food was actually “decent” they made staff lunches and most teachers would get it almost every day. The food the kids got was pretty standard school food, but it was fine. Then Aramark came in. No more staff lunches and while we are certainly allowed to buy food from the student line, I don’t know a single adult that would. It’s pretty awful. \nHowever you know Aramark’s food sucks, but the contract the school signed is also super restrictive. Home economics teachers have a hard time ordering ingredients since all food purchases must go through Aramark. The school guarantees a certain number of days where lunch is served so all half days must have lunch even if the timing makes no sense. It even restricts how we handle emergency closures. Of course now the district doesn’t have to give any benefits to underpaid “lunch ladies” so it will never go away.",
">\n\nMy wife tried to be friendly with the trustees and she was effectively run out of the job for acting like they are human beings deserving of even the basics of human decency. This was in a prison though... Not sure about their school side 🤔\nYou cannot have a kind heart and work for Aramark, apparently.",
">\n\nSchool side and prison side are probably the same side.",
">\n\nWhen my campus had them the truck's next stop after us was San Quentin prison. \nThen we changed to a cheaper food supplier :(",
">\n\nThey reportedly were serving maggot and rat infested meals in Detroit prisons, as well as food taken out of the trash. You guys made the correct choice.",
">\n\nWe’re having homemade fried catfish, instant grits, collard greens, fried breaded okra and some black eyed peas for dinner and we always have enough for company!",
">\n\nNo self respecting southerner eats instant grits",
">\n\nSo how many minutes would it take to make your grits? Well perhaps the laws of physics cease to exist on your stove! Were these magic grits? I mean, did you buy them from the same guy who sold Jack his beanstalk beans?!"
] |
>
The two yoots
|
[
"If I was a student I would just want to get rid of Aramark for the food. My grade school used them and it always tasted like shit.",
">\n\nWhen I first started working at my school the food was actually “decent” they made staff lunches and most teachers would get it almost every day. The food the kids got was pretty standard school food, but it was fine. Then Aramark came in. No more staff lunches and while we are certainly allowed to buy food from the student line, I don’t know a single adult that would. It’s pretty awful. \nHowever you know Aramark’s food sucks, but the contract the school signed is also super restrictive. Home economics teachers have a hard time ordering ingredients since all food purchases must go through Aramark. The school guarantees a certain number of days where lunch is served so all half days must have lunch even if the timing makes no sense. It even restricts how we handle emergency closures. Of course now the district doesn’t have to give any benefits to underpaid “lunch ladies” so it will never go away.",
">\n\nMy wife tried to be friendly with the trustees and she was effectively run out of the job for acting like they are human beings deserving of even the basics of human decency. This was in a prison though... Not sure about their school side 🤔\nYou cannot have a kind heart and work for Aramark, apparently.",
">\n\nSchool side and prison side are probably the same side.",
">\n\nWhen my campus had them the truck's next stop after us was San Quentin prison. \nThen we changed to a cheaper food supplier :(",
">\n\nThey reportedly were serving maggot and rat infested meals in Detroit prisons, as well as food taken out of the trash. You guys made the correct choice.",
">\n\nWe’re having homemade fried catfish, instant grits, collard greens, fried breaded okra and some black eyed peas for dinner and we always have enough for company!",
">\n\nNo self respecting southerner eats instant grits",
">\n\nSo how many minutes would it take to make your grits? Well perhaps the laws of physics cease to exist on your stove! Were these magic grits? I mean, did you buy them from the same guy who sold Jack his beanstalk beans?!",
">\n\nI love how any line from the movie I can hear in whoever's voice, with the exact ~~annunciation~~ enunciation and inflection.\nEdit - I no spell good."
] |
>
Did you say yoot?
What is a yoot?
|
[
"If I was a student I would just want to get rid of Aramark for the food. My grade school used them and it always tasted like shit.",
">\n\nWhen I first started working at my school the food was actually “decent” they made staff lunches and most teachers would get it almost every day. The food the kids got was pretty standard school food, but it was fine. Then Aramark came in. No more staff lunches and while we are certainly allowed to buy food from the student line, I don’t know a single adult that would. It’s pretty awful. \nHowever you know Aramark’s food sucks, but the contract the school signed is also super restrictive. Home economics teachers have a hard time ordering ingredients since all food purchases must go through Aramark. The school guarantees a certain number of days where lunch is served so all half days must have lunch even if the timing makes no sense. It even restricts how we handle emergency closures. Of course now the district doesn’t have to give any benefits to underpaid “lunch ladies” so it will never go away.",
">\n\nMy wife tried to be friendly with the trustees and she was effectively run out of the job for acting like they are human beings deserving of even the basics of human decency. This was in a prison though... Not sure about their school side 🤔\nYou cannot have a kind heart and work for Aramark, apparently.",
">\n\nSchool side and prison side are probably the same side.",
">\n\nWhen my campus had them the truck's next stop after us was San Quentin prison. \nThen we changed to a cheaper food supplier :(",
">\n\nThey reportedly were serving maggot and rat infested meals in Detroit prisons, as well as food taken out of the trash. You guys made the correct choice.",
">\n\nWe’re having homemade fried catfish, instant grits, collard greens, fried breaded okra and some black eyed peas for dinner and we always have enough for company!",
">\n\nNo self respecting southerner eats instant grits",
">\n\nSo how many minutes would it take to make your grits? Well perhaps the laws of physics cease to exist on your stove! Were these magic grits? I mean, did you buy them from the same guy who sold Jack his beanstalk beans?!",
">\n\nI love how any line from the movie I can hear in whoever's voice, with the exact ~~annunciation~~ enunciation and inflection.\nEdit - I no spell good.",
">\n\nThe two yoots"
] |
>
Oh... excuse me your honor... two y o u u u t h h z z...
|
[
"If I was a student I would just want to get rid of Aramark for the food. My grade school used them and it always tasted like shit.",
">\n\nWhen I first started working at my school the food was actually “decent” they made staff lunches and most teachers would get it almost every day. The food the kids got was pretty standard school food, but it was fine. Then Aramark came in. No more staff lunches and while we are certainly allowed to buy food from the student line, I don’t know a single adult that would. It’s pretty awful. \nHowever you know Aramark’s food sucks, but the contract the school signed is also super restrictive. Home economics teachers have a hard time ordering ingredients since all food purchases must go through Aramark. The school guarantees a certain number of days where lunch is served so all half days must have lunch even if the timing makes no sense. It even restricts how we handle emergency closures. Of course now the district doesn’t have to give any benefits to underpaid “lunch ladies” so it will never go away.",
">\n\nMy wife tried to be friendly with the trustees and she was effectively run out of the job for acting like they are human beings deserving of even the basics of human decency. This was in a prison though... Not sure about their school side 🤔\nYou cannot have a kind heart and work for Aramark, apparently.",
">\n\nSchool side and prison side are probably the same side.",
">\n\nWhen my campus had them the truck's next stop after us was San Quentin prison. \nThen we changed to a cheaper food supplier :(",
">\n\nThey reportedly were serving maggot and rat infested meals in Detroit prisons, as well as food taken out of the trash. You guys made the correct choice.",
">\n\nWe’re having homemade fried catfish, instant grits, collard greens, fried breaded okra and some black eyed peas for dinner and we always have enough for company!",
">\n\nNo self respecting southerner eats instant grits",
">\n\nSo how many minutes would it take to make your grits? Well perhaps the laws of physics cease to exist on your stove! Were these magic grits? I mean, did you buy them from the same guy who sold Jack his beanstalk beans?!",
">\n\nI love how any line from the movie I can hear in whoever's voice, with the exact ~~annunciation~~ enunciation and inflection.\nEdit - I no spell good.",
">\n\nThe two yoots",
">\n\nDid you say yoot?\nWhat is a yoot?"
] |
>
Is it possible the two defendant's...
|
[
"If I was a student I would just want to get rid of Aramark for the food. My grade school used them and it always tasted like shit.",
">\n\nWhen I first started working at my school the food was actually “decent” they made staff lunches and most teachers would get it almost every day. The food the kids got was pretty standard school food, but it was fine. Then Aramark came in. No more staff lunches and while we are certainly allowed to buy food from the student line, I don’t know a single adult that would. It’s pretty awful. \nHowever you know Aramark’s food sucks, but the contract the school signed is also super restrictive. Home economics teachers have a hard time ordering ingredients since all food purchases must go through Aramark. The school guarantees a certain number of days where lunch is served so all half days must have lunch even if the timing makes no sense. It even restricts how we handle emergency closures. Of course now the district doesn’t have to give any benefits to underpaid “lunch ladies” so it will never go away.",
">\n\nMy wife tried to be friendly with the trustees and she was effectively run out of the job for acting like they are human beings deserving of even the basics of human decency. This was in a prison though... Not sure about their school side 🤔\nYou cannot have a kind heart and work for Aramark, apparently.",
">\n\nSchool side and prison side are probably the same side.",
">\n\nWhen my campus had them the truck's next stop after us was San Quentin prison. \nThen we changed to a cheaper food supplier :(",
">\n\nThey reportedly were serving maggot and rat infested meals in Detroit prisons, as well as food taken out of the trash. You guys made the correct choice.",
">\n\nWe’re having homemade fried catfish, instant grits, collard greens, fried breaded okra and some black eyed peas for dinner and we always have enough for company!",
">\n\nNo self respecting southerner eats instant grits",
">\n\nSo how many minutes would it take to make your grits? Well perhaps the laws of physics cease to exist on your stove! Were these magic grits? I mean, did you buy them from the same guy who sold Jack his beanstalk beans?!",
">\n\nI love how any line from the movie I can hear in whoever's voice, with the exact ~~annunciation~~ enunciation and inflection.\nEdit - I no spell good.",
">\n\nThe two yoots",
">\n\nDid you say yoot?\nWhat is a yoot?",
">\n\nOh... excuse me your honor... two y o u u u t h h z z..."
] |
>
Please take this the right way. I mean this with a good heart. What would be a good menu to celebrate black heritage that wouldn't be offensive?
|
[
"If I was a student I would just want to get rid of Aramark for the food. My grade school used them and it always tasted like shit.",
">\n\nWhen I first started working at my school the food was actually “decent” they made staff lunches and most teachers would get it almost every day. The food the kids got was pretty standard school food, but it was fine. Then Aramark came in. No more staff lunches and while we are certainly allowed to buy food from the student line, I don’t know a single adult that would. It’s pretty awful. \nHowever you know Aramark’s food sucks, but the contract the school signed is also super restrictive. Home economics teachers have a hard time ordering ingredients since all food purchases must go through Aramark. The school guarantees a certain number of days where lunch is served so all half days must have lunch even if the timing makes no sense. It even restricts how we handle emergency closures. Of course now the district doesn’t have to give any benefits to underpaid “lunch ladies” so it will never go away.",
">\n\nMy wife tried to be friendly with the trustees and she was effectively run out of the job for acting like they are human beings deserving of even the basics of human decency. This was in a prison though... Not sure about their school side 🤔\nYou cannot have a kind heart and work for Aramark, apparently.",
">\n\nSchool side and prison side are probably the same side.",
">\n\nWhen my campus had them the truck's next stop after us was San Quentin prison. \nThen we changed to a cheaper food supplier :(",
">\n\nThey reportedly were serving maggot and rat infested meals in Detroit prisons, as well as food taken out of the trash. You guys made the correct choice.",
">\n\nWe’re having homemade fried catfish, instant grits, collard greens, fried breaded okra and some black eyed peas for dinner and we always have enough for company!",
">\n\nNo self respecting southerner eats instant grits",
">\n\nSo how many minutes would it take to make your grits? Well perhaps the laws of physics cease to exist on your stove! Were these magic grits? I mean, did you buy them from the same guy who sold Jack his beanstalk beans?!",
">\n\nI love how any line from the movie I can hear in whoever's voice, with the exact ~~annunciation~~ enunciation and inflection.\nEdit - I no spell good.",
">\n\nThe two yoots",
">\n\nDid you say yoot?\nWhat is a yoot?",
">\n\nOh... excuse me your honor... two y o u u u t h h z z...",
">\n\nIs it possible the two defendant's..."
] |
>
The first thing I clicked on had fried chicken as an entree and watermelon salad as a side.
|
[
"If I was a student I would just want to get rid of Aramark for the food. My grade school used them and it always tasted like shit.",
">\n\nWhen I first started working at my school the food was actually “decent” they made staff lunches and most teachers would get it almost every day. The food the kids got was pretty standard school food, but it was fine. Then Aramark came in. No more staff lunches and while we are certainly allowed to buy food from the student line, I don’t know a single adult that would. It’s pretty awful. \nHowever you know Aramark’s food sucks, but the contract the school signed is also super restrictive. Home economics teachers have a hard time ordering ingredients since all food purchases must go through Aramark. The school guarantees a certain number of days where lunch is served so all half days must have lunch even if the timing makes no sense. It even restricts how we handle emergency closures. Of course now the district doesn’t have to give any benefits to underpaid “lunch ladies” so it will never go away.",
">\n\nMy wife tried to be friendly with the trustees and she was effectively run out of the job for acting like they are human beings deserving of even the basics of human decency. This was in a prison though... Not sure about their school side 🤔\nYou cannot have a kind heart and work for Aramark, apparently.",
">\n\nSchool side and prison side are probably the same side.",
">\n\nWhen my campus had them the truck's next stop after us was San Quentin prison. \nThen we changed to a cheaper food supplier :(",
">\n\nThey reportedly were serving maggot and rat infested meals in Detroit prisons, as well as food taken out of the trash. You guys made the correct choice.",
">\n\nWe’re having homemade fried catfish, instant grits, collard greens, fried breaded okra and some black eyed peas for dinner and we always have enough for company!",
">\n\nNo self respecting southerner eats instant grits",
">\n\nSo how many minutes would it take to make your grits? Well perhaps the laws of physics cease to exist on your stove! Were these magic grits? I mean, did you buy them from the same guy who sold Jack his beanstalk beans?!",
">\n\nI love how any line from the movie I can hear in whoever's voice, with the exact ~~annunciation~~ enunciation and inflection.\nEdit - I no spell good.",
">\n\nThe two yoots",
">\n\nDid you say yoot?\nWhat is a yoot?",
">\n\nOh... excuse me your honor... two y o u u u t h h z z...",
">\n\nIs it possible the two defendant's...",
">\n\nPlease take this the right way. I mean this with a good heart. What would be a good menu to celebrate black heritage that wouldn't be offensive?"
] |
>
Cause they're fucking delicious tbh. Like dude, they didn't just eat it because it was the only thing available, they ate it because it was decent good for cheap AND frying chicken is AMAZING.
|
[
"If I was a student I would just want to get rid of Aramark for the food. My grade school used them and it always tasted like shit.",
">\n\nWhen I first started working at my school the food was actually “decent” they made staff lunches and most teachers would get it almost every day. The food the kids got was pretty standard school food, but it was fine. Then Aramark came in. No more staff lunches and while we are certainly allowed to buy food from the student line, I don’t know a single adult that would. It’s pretty awful. \nHowever you know Aramark’s food sucks, but the contract the school signed is also super restrictive. Home economics teachers have a hard time ordering ingredients since all food purchases must go through Aramark. The school guarantees a certain number of days where lunch is served so all half days must have lunch even if the timing makes no sense. It even restricts how we handle emergency closures. Of course now the district doesn’t have to give any benefits to underpaid “lunch ladies” so it will never go away.",
">\n\nMy wife tried to be friendly with the trustees and she was effectively run out of the job for acting like they are human beings deserving of even the basics of human decency. This was in a prison though... Not sure about their school side 🤔\nYou cannot have a kind heart and work for Aramark, apparently.",
">\n\nSchool side and prison side are probably the same side.",
">\n\nWhen my campus had them the truck's next stop after us was San Quentin prison. \nThen we changed to a cheaper food supplier :(",
">\n\nThey reportedly were serving maggot and rat infested meals in Detroit prisons, as well as food taken out of the trash. You guys made the correct choice.",
">\n\nWe’re having homemade fried catfish, instant grits, collard greens, fried breaded okra and some black eyed peas for dinner and we always have enough for company!",
">\n\nNo self respecting southerner eats instant grits",
">\n\nSo how many minutes would it take to make your grits? Well perhaps the laws of physics cease to exist on your stove! Were these magic grits? I mean, did you buy them from the same guy who sold Jack his beanstalk beans?!",
">\n\nI love how any line from the movie I can hear in whoever's voice, with the exact ~~annunciation~~ enunciation and inflection.\nEdit - I no spell good.",
">\n\nThe two yoots",
">\n\nDid you say yoot?\nWhat is a yoot?",
">\n\nOh... excuse me your honor... two y o u u u t h h z z...",
">\n\nIs it possible the two defendant's...",
">\n\nPlease take this the right way. I mean this with a good heart. What would be a good menu to celebrate black heritage that wouldn't be offensive?",
">\n\nThe first thing I clicked on had fried chicken as an entree and watermelon salad as a side."
] |
>
One of the best meals of my life was eaten in New Orleans at some lunch Buffett I found off the beaten path. I had about 7 pieces of fried chicken.
|
[
"If I was a student I would just want to get rid of Aramark for the food. My grade school used them and it always tasted like shit.",
">\n\nWhen I first started working at my school the food was actually “decent” they made staff lunches and most teachers would get it almost every day. The food the kids got was pretty standard school food, but it was fine. Then Aramark came in. No more staff lunches and while we are certainly allowed to buy food from the student line, I don’t know a single adult that would. It’s pretty awful. \nHowever you know Aramark’s food sucks, but the contract the school signed is also super restrictive. Home economics teachers have a hard time ordering ingredients since all food purchases must go through Aramark. The school guarantees a certain number of days where lunch is served so all half days must have lunch even if the timing makes no sense. It even restricts how we handle emergency closures. Of course now the district doesn’t have to give any benefits to underpaid “lunch ladies” so it will never go away.",
">\n\nMy wife tried to be friendly with the trustees and she was effectively run out of the job for acting like they are human beings deserving of even the basics of human decency. This was in a prison though... Not sure about their school side 🤔\nYou cannot have a kind heart and work for Aramark, apparently.",
">\n\nSchool side and prison side are probably the same side.",
">\n\nWhen my campus had them the truck's next stop after us was San Quentin prison. \nThen we changed to a cheaper food supplier :(",
">\n\nThey reportedly were serving maggot and rat infested meals in Detroit prisons, as well as food taken out of the trash. You guys made the correct choice.",
">\n\nWe’re having homemade fried catfish, instant grits, collard greens, fried breaded okra and some black eyed peas for dinner and we always have enough for company!",
">\n\nNo self respecting southerner eats instant grits",
">\n\nSo how many minutes would it take to make your grits? Well perhaps the laws of physics cease to exist on your stove! Were these magic grits? I mean, did you buy them from the same guy who sold Jack his beanstalk beans?!",
">\n\nI love how any line from the movie I can hear in whoever's voice, with the exact ~~annunciation~~ enunciation and inflection.\nEdit - I no spell good.",
">\n\nThe two yoots",
">\n\nDid you say yoot?\nWhat is a yoot?",
">\n\nOh... excuse me your honor... two y o u u u t h h z z...",
">\n\nIs it possible the two defendant's...",
">\n\nPlease take this the right way. I mean this with a good heart. What would be a good menu to celebrate black heritage that wouldn't be offensive?",
">\n\nThe first thing I clicked on had fried chicken as an entree and watermelon salad as a side.",
">\n\nCause they're fucking delicious tbh. Like dude, they didn't just eat it because it was the only thing available, they ate it because it was decent good for cheap AND frying chicken is AMAZING."
] |
>
I literally just added stuff to make fried chicken to my instacart. Alas watermelons aren't available right now but holy shit I can't wait for a meal of fried chicken next week rofl. Prolly going cantaloupe
|
[
"If I was a student I would just want to get rid of Aramark for the food. My grade school used them and it always tasted like shit.",
">\n\nWhen I first started working at my school the food was actually “decent” they made staff lunches and most teachers would get it almost every day. The food the kids got was pretty standard school food, but it was fine. Then Aramark came in. No more staff lunches and while we are certainly allowed to buy food from the student line, I don’t know a single adult that would. It’s pretty awful. \nHowever you know Aramark’s food sucks, but the contract the school signed is also super restrictive. Home economics teachers have a hard time ordering ingredients since all food purchases must go through Aramark. The school guarantees a certain number of days where lunch is served so all half days must have lunch even if the timing makes no sense. It even restricts how we handle emergency closures. Of course now the district doesn’t have to give any benefits to underpaid “lunch ladies” so it will never go away.",
">\n\nMy wife tried to be friendly with the trustees and she was effectively run out of the job for acting like they are human beings deserving of even the basics of human decency. This was in a prison though... Not sure about their school side 🤔\nYou cannot have a kind heart and work for Aramark, apparently.",
">\n\nSchool side and prison side are probably the same side.",
">\n\nWhen my campus had them the truck's next stop after us was San Quentin prison. \nThen we changed to a cheaper food supplier :(",
">\n\nThey reportedly were serving maggot and rat infested meals in Detroit prisons, as well as food taken out of the trash. You guys made the correct choice.",
">\n\nWe’re having homemade fried catfish, instant grits, collard greens, fried breaded okra and some black eyed peas for dinner and we always have enough for company!",
">\n\nNo self respecting southerner eats instant grits",
">\n\nSo how many minutes would it take to make your grits? Well perhaps the laws of physics cease to exist on your stove! Were these magic grits? I mean, did you buy them from the same guy who sold Jack his beanstalk beans?!",
">\n\nI love how any line from the movie I can hear in whoever's voice, with the exact ~~annunciation~~ enunciation and inflection.\nEdit - I no spell good.",
">\n\nThe two yoots",
">\n\nDid you say yoot?\nWhat is a yoot?",
">\n\nOh... excuse me your honor... two y o u u u t h h z z...",
">\n\nIs it possible the two defendant's...",
">\n\nPlease take this the right way. I mean this with a good heart. What would be a good menu to celebrate black heritage that wouldn't be offensive?",
">\n\nThe first thing I clicked on had fried chicken as an entree and watermelon salad as a side.",
">\n\nCause they're fucking delicious tbh. Like dude, they didn't just eat it because it was the only thing available, they ate it because it was decent good for cheap AND frying chicken is AMAZING.",
">\n\nOne of the best meals of my life was eaten in New Orleans at some lunch Buffett I found off the beaten path. I had about 7 pieces of fried chicken."
] |
>
For Cinco de Mayo, serve me tacos with a side of rice and beans. I’m Mexican American. I DO eat that and often
|
[
"If I was a student I would just want to get rid of Aramark for the food. My grade school used them and it always tasted like shit.",
">\n\nWhen I first started working at my school the food was actually “decent” they made staff lunches and most teachers would get it almost every day. The food the kids got was pretty standard school food, but it was fine. Then Aramark came in. No more staff lunches and while we are certainly allowed to buy food from the student line, I don’t know a single adult that would. It’s pretty awful. \nHowever you know Aramark’s food sucks, but the contract the school signed is also super restrictive. Home economics teachers have a hard time ordering ingredients since all food purchases must go through Aramark. The school guarantees a certain number of days where lunch is served so all half days must have lunch even if the timing makes no sense. It even restricts how we handle emergency closures. Of course now the district doesn’t have to give any benefits to underpaid “lunch ladies” so it will never go away.",
">\n\nMy wife tried to be friendly with the trustees and she was effectively run out of the job for acting like they are human beings deserving of even the basics of human decency. This was in a prison though... Not sure about their school side 🤔\nYou cannot have a kind heart and work for Aramark, apparently.",
">\n\nSchool side and prison side are probably the same side.",
">\n\nWhen my campus had them the truck's next stop after us was San Quentin prison. \nThen we changed to a cheaper food supplier :(",
">\n\nThey reportedly were serving maggot and rat infested meals in Detroit prisons, as well as food taken out of the trash. You guys made the correct choice.",
">\n\nWe’re having homemade fried catfish, instant grits, collard greens, fried breaded okra and some black eyed peas for dinner and we always have enough for company!",
">\n\nNo self respecting southerner eats instant grits",
">\n\nSo how many minutes would it take to make your grits? Well perhaps the laws of physics cease to exist on your stove! Were these magic grits? I mean, did you buy them from the same guy who sold Jack his beanstalk beans?!",
">\n\nI love how any line from the movie I can hear in whoever's voice, with the exact ~~annunciation~~ enunciation and inflection.\nEdit - I no spell good.",
">\n\nThe two yoots",
">\n\nDid you say yoot?\nWhat is a yoot?",
">\n\nOh... excuse me your honor... two y o u u u t h h z z...",
">\n\nIs it possible the two defendant's...",
">\n\nPlease take this the right way. I mean this with a good heart. What would be a good menu to celebrate black heritage that wouldn't be offensive?",
">\n\nThe first thing I clicked on had fried chicken as an entree and watermelon salad as a side.",
">\n\nCause they're fucking delicious tbh. Like dude, they didn't just eat it because it was the only thing available, they ate it because it was decent good for cheap AND frying chicken is AMAZING.",
">\n\nOne of the best meals of my life was eaten in New Orleans at some lunch Buffett I found off the beaten path. I had about 7 pieces of fried chicken.",
">\n\nI literally just added stuff to make fried chicken to my instacart. Alas watermelons aren't available right now but holy shit I can't wait for a meal of fried chicken next week rofl. Prolly going cantaloupe"
] |
>
Back in the day. The mental institutions used to grow food and feed the institution. They would sell excess food to the prisons. The money received would help fund the hospital. The patients there had a job and responsibilities, giving them a sense of purpose.
Now we have neither mental health care or home grown food. Instead we have Aramark.
|
[
"If I was a student I would just want to get rid of Aramark for the food. My grade school used them and it always tasted like shit.",
">\n\nWhen I first started working at my school the food was actually “decent” they made staff lunches and most teachers would get it almost every day. The food the kids got was pretty standard school food, but it was fine. Then Aramark came in. No more staff lunches and while we are certainly allowed to buy food from the student line, I don’t know a single adult that would. It’s pretty awful. \nHowever you know Aramark’s food sucks, but the contract the school signed is also super restrictive. Home economics teachers have a hard time ordering ingredients since all food purchases must go through Aramark. The school guarantees a certain number of days where lunch is served so all half days must have lunch even if the timing makes no sense. It even restricts how we handle emergency closures. Of course now the district doesn’t have to give any benefits to underpaid “lunch ladies” so it will never go away.",
">\n\nMy wife tried to be friendly with the trustees and she was effectively run out of the job for acting like they are human beings deserving of even the basics of human decency. This was in a prison though... Not sure about their school side 🤔\nYou cannot have a kind heart and work for Aramark, apparently.",
">\n\nSchool side and prison side are probably the same side.",
">\n\nWhen my campus had them the truck's next stop after us was San Quentin prison. \nThen we changed to a cheaper food supplier :(",
">\n\nThey reportedly were serving maggot and rat infested meals in Detroit prisons, as well as food taken out of the trash. You guys made the correct choice.",
">\n\nWe’re having homemade fried catfish, instant grits, collard greens, fried breaded okra and some black eyed peas for dinner and we always have enough for company!",
">\n\nNo self respecting southerner eats instant grits",
">\n\nSo how many minutes would it take to make your grits? Well perhaps the laws of physics cease to exist on your stove! Were these magic grits? I mean, did you buy them from the same guy who sold Jack his beanstalk beans?!",
">\n\nI love how any line from the movie I can hear in whoever's voice, with the exact ~~annunciation~~ enunciation and inflection.\nEdit - I no spell good.",
">\n\nThe two yoots",
">\n\nDid you say yoot?\nWhat is a yoot?",
">\n\nOh... excuse me your honor... two y o u u u t h h z z...",
">\n\nIs it possible the two defendant's...",
">\n\nPlease take this the right way. I mean this with a good heart. What would be a good menu to celebrate black heritage that wouldn't be offensive?",
">\n\nThe first thing I clicked on had fried chicken as an entree and watermelon salad as a side.",
">\n\nCause they're fucking delicious tbh. Like dude, they didn't just eat it because it was the only thing available, they ate it because it was decent good for cheap AND frying chicken is AMAZING.",
">\n\nOne of the best meals of my life was eaten in New Orleans at some lunch Buffett I found off the beaten path. I had about 7 pieces of fried chicken.",
">\n\nI literally just added stuff to make fried chicken to my instacart. Alas watermelons aren't available right now but holy shit I can't wait for a meal of fried chicken next week rofl. Prolly going cantaloupe",
">\n\nFor Cinco de Mayo, serve me tacos with a side of rice and beans. I’m Mexican American. I DO eat that and often"
] |
>
This sort of thing should be a teaching moment, though. Everyone eats food, so the history of food is really just... history, but through a lens that everyone can identify with.
Watermelon was a staple crop among the freed slaves in the post-Civil War years due to being fast-growing, readily portable, and usable without infrastructure-intensive processing. That black people flocked to grow it didn't escape notice, and a whole bunch of negative stereotypes showed up almost immediately. Fried chicken, similar story. It first showed up in American in the first third of the nineteenth century, but took off after the war where it combined some Scottish frying techniques with West African seasoning styles.
It's okay to have a stereotypical food as part of a history month, because stereotypes are part of history, and we should examine them. It's critical to make it about the knowledge, though, and not "oh lol yeah black people like watermelon, we'll do that."
|
[
"If I was a student I would just want to get rid of Aramark for the food. My grade school used them and it always tasted like shit.",
">\n\nWhen I first started working at my school the food was actually “decent” they made staff lunches and most teachers would get it almost every day. The food the kids got was pretty standard school food, but it was fine. Then Aramark came in. No more staff lunches and while we are certainly allowed to buy food from the student line, I don’t know a single adult that would. It’s pretty awful. \nHowever you know Aramark’s food sucks, but the contract the school signed is also super restrictive. Home economics teachers have a hard time ordering ingredients since all food purchases must go through Aramark. The school guarantees a certain number of days where lunch is served so all half days must have lunch even if the timing makes no sense. It even restricts how we handle emergency closures. Of course now the district doesn’t have to give any benefits to underpaid “lunch ladies” so it will never go away.",
">\n\nMy wife tried to be friendly with the trustees and she was effectively run out of the job for acting like they are human beings deserving of even the basics of human decency. This was in a prison though... Not sure about their school side 🤔\nYou cannot have a kind heart and work for Aramark, apparently.",
">\n\nSchool side and prison side are probably the same side.",
">\n\nWhen my campus had them the truck's next stop after us was San Quentin prison. \nThen we changed to a cheaper food supplier :(",
">\n\nThey reportedly were serving maggot and rat infested meals in Detroit prisons, as well as food taken out of the trash. You guys made the correct choice.",
">\n\nWe’re having homemade fried catfish, instant grits, collard greens, fried breaded okra and some black eyed peas for dinner and we always have enough for company!",
">\n\nNo self respecting southerner eats instant grits",
">\n\nSo how many minutes would it take to make your grits? Well perhaps the laws of physics cease to exist on your stove! Were these magic grits? I mean, did you buy them from the same guy who sold Jack his beanstalk beans?!",
">\n\nI love how any line from the movie I can hear in whoever's voice, with the exact ~~annunciation~~ enunciation and inflection.\nEdit - I no spell good.",
">\n\nThe two yoots",
">\n\nDid you say yoot?\nWhat is a yoot?",
">\n\nOh... excuse me your honor... two y o u u u t h h z z...",
">\n\nIs it possible the two defendant's...",
">\n\nPlease take this the right way. I mean this with a good heart. What would be a good menu to celebrate black heritage that wouldn't be offensive?",
">\n\nThe first thing I clicked on had fried chicken as an entree and watermelon salad as a side.",
">\n\nCause they're fucking delicious tbh. Like dude, they didn't just eat it because it was the only thing available, they ate it because it was decent good for cheap AND frying chicken is AMAZING.",
">\n\nOne of the best meals of my life was eaten in New Orleans at some lunch Buffett I found off the beaten path. I had about 7 pieces of fried chicken.",
">\n\nI literally just added stuff to make fried chicken to my instacart. Alas watermelons aren't available right now but holy shit I can't wait for a meal of fried chicken next week rofl. Prolly going cantaloupe",
">\n\nFor Cinco de Mayo, serve me tacos with a side of rice and beans. I’m Mexican American. I DO eat that and often",
">\n\nBack in the day. The mental institutions used to grow food and feed the institution. They would sell excess food to the prisons. The money received would help fund the hospital. The patients there had a job and responsibilities, giving them a sense of purpose.\nNow we have neither mental health care or home grown food. Instead we have Aramark."
] |
>
Ehh... yes and no.
You're right: this is a teachable moment. Stereotypes exist, and frankly we should be teaching kids about stereotypes with an eye for identifying harmful ones and not perpetuating them, while also identifying legitimate aspects of culture, and even how a thing can be both of those things depending on the context.
But serving stereotypes for lunch isn't the right context when you're cramming stereotypes in. Chicken and waffles? Sure. But maybe with a side of biscuits, or okra, or any number of other soul-food items that are more legitimate than stereotypical. Watermelon? Same thing, but maybe with a culturally relevant main that's not a raging stereotype.
It's the context that matters here. This is the school-lunch equivalent of Gabriel Iglesias' racist gift basket, except not done as a joke between good friends. It's not that any of the items are offensive in and of themselves, it's that when grouped together like that it's clearly an insensitive racial message, not an educational cultural one.
|
[
"If I was a student I would just want to get rid of Aramark for the food. My grade school used them and it always tasted like shit.",
">\n\nWhen I first started working at my school the food was actually “decent” they made staff lunches and most teachers would get it almost every day. The food the kids got was pretty standard school food, but it was fine. Then Aramark came in. No more staff lunches and while we are certainly allowed to buy food from the student line, I don’t know a single adult that would. It’s pretty awful. \nHowever you know Aramark’s food sucks, but the contract the school signed is also super restrictive. Home economics teachers have a hard time ordering ingredients since all food purchases must go through Aramark. The school guarantees a certain number of days where lunch is served so all half days must have lunch even if the timing makes no sense. It even restricts how we handle emergency closures. Of course now the district doesn’t have to give any benefits to underpaid “lunch ladies” so it will never go away.",
">\n\nMy wife tried to be friendly with the trustees and she was effectively run out of the job for acting like they are human beings deserving of even the basics of human decency. This was in a prison though... Not sure about their school side 🤔\nYou cannot have a kind heart and work for Aramark, apparently.",
">\n\nSchool side and prison side are probably the same side.",
">\n\nWhen my campus had them the truck's next stop after us was San Quentin prison. \nThen we changed to a cheaper food supplier :(",
">\n\nThey reportedly were serving maggot and rat infested meals in Detroit prisons, as well as food taken out of the trash. You guys made the correct choice.",
">\n\nWe’re having homemade fried catfish, instant grits, collard greens, fried breaded okra and some black eyed peas for dinner and we always have enough for company!",
">\n\nNo self respecting southerner eats instant grits",
">\n\nSo how many minutes would it take to make your grits? Well perhaps the laws of physics cease to exist on your stove! Were these magic grits? I mean, did you buy them from the same guy who sold Jack his beanstalk beans?!",
">\n\nI love how any line from the movie I can hear in whoever's voice, with the exact ~~annunciation~~ enunciation and inflection.\nEdit - I no spell good.",
">\n\nThe two yoots",
">\n\nDid you say yoot?\nWhat is a yoot?",
">\n\nOh... excuse me your honor... two y o u u u t h h z z...",
">\n\nIs it possible the two defendant's...",
">\n\nPlease take this the right way. I mean this with a good heart. What would be a good menu to celebrate black heritage that wouldn't be offensive?",
">\n\nThe first thing I clicked on had fried chicken as an entree and watermelon salad as a side.",
">\n\nCause they're fucking delicious tbh. Like dude, they didn't just eat it because it was the only thing available, they ate it because it was decent good for cheap AND frying chicken is AMAZING.",
">\n\nOne of the best meals of my life was eaten in New Orleans at some lunch Buffett I found off the beaten path. I had about 7 pieces of fried chicken.",
">\n\nI literally just added stuff to make fried chicken to my instacart. Alas watermelons aren't available right now but holy shit I can't wait for a meal of fried chicken next week rofl. Prolly going cantaloupe",
">\n\nFor Cinco de Mayo, serve me tacos with a side of rice and beans. I’m Mexican American. I DO eat that and often",
">\n\nBack in the day. The mental institutions used to grow food and feed the institution. They would sell excess food to the prisons. The money received would help fund the hospital. The patients there had a job and responsibilities, giving them a sense of purpose.\nNow we have neither mental health care or home grown food. Instead we have Aramark.",
">\n\nThis sort of thing should be a teaching moment, though. Everyone eats food, so the history of food is really just... history, but through a lens that everyone can identify with.\nWatermelon was a staple crop among the freed slaves in the post-Civil War years due to being fast-growing, readily portable, and usable without infrastructure-intensive processing. That black people flocked to grow it didn't escape notice, and a whole bunch of negative stereotypes showed up almost immediately. Fried chicken, similar story. It first showed up in American in the first third of the nineteenth century, but took off after the war where it combined some Scottish frying techniques with West African seasoning styles.\nIt's okay to have a stereotypical food as part of a history month, because stereotypes are part of history, and we should examine them. It's critical to make it about the knowledge, though, and not \"oh lol yeah black people like watermelon, we'll do that.\""
] |
>
I'm gonna be fucking PISSED if someone serves me birthday cake for my next birthday. That shit is SO STEREOTYPICAL.
|
[
"If I was a student I would just want to get rid of Aramark for the food. My grade school used them and it always tasted like shit.",
">\n\nWhen I first started working at my school the food was actually “decent” they made staff lunches and most teachers would get it almost every day. The food the kids got was pretty standard school food, but it was fine. Then Aramark came in. No more staff lunches and while we are certainly allowed to buy food from the student line, I don’t know a single adult that would. It’s pretty awful. \nHowever you know Aramark’s food sucks, but the contract the school signed is also super restrictive. Home economics teachers have a hard time ordering ingredients since all food purchases must go through Aramark. The school guarantees a certain number of days where lunch is served so all half days must have lunch even if the timing makes no sense. It even restricts how we handle emergency closures. Of course now the district doesn’t have to give any benefits to underpaid “lunch ladies” so it will never go away.",
">\n\nMy wife tried to be friendly with the trustees and she was effectively run out of the job for acting like they are human beings deserving of even the basics of human decency. This was in a prison though... Not sure about their school side 🤔\nYou cannot have a kind heart and work for Aramark, apparently.",
">\n\nSchool side and prison side are probably the same side.",
">\n\nWhen my campus had them the truck's next stop after us was San Quentin prison. \nThen we changed to a cheaper food supplier :(",
">\n\nThey reportedly were serving maggot and rat infested meals in Detroit prisons, as well as food taken out of the trash. You guys made the correct choice.",
">\n\nWe’re having homemade fried catfish, instant grits, collard greens, fried breaded okra and some black eyed peas for dinner and we always have enough for company!",
">\n\nNo self respecting southerner eats instant grits",
">\n\nSo how many minutes would it take to make your grits? Well perhaps the laws of physics cease to exist on your stove! Were these magic grits? I mean, did you buy them from the same guy who sold Jack his beanstalk beans?!",
">\n\nI love how any line from the movie I can hear in whoever's voice, with the exact ~~annunciation~~ enunciation and inflection.\nEdit - I no spell good.",
">\n\nThe two yoots",
">\n\nDid you say yoot?\nWhat is a yoot?",
">\n\nOh... excuse me your honor... two y o u u u t h h z z...",
">\n\nIs it possible the two defendant's...",
">\n\nPlease take this the right way. I mean this with a good heart. What would be a good menu to celebrate black heritage that wouldn't be offensive?",
">\n\nThe first thing I clicked on had fried chicken as an entree and watermelon salad as a side.",
">\n\nCause they're fucking delicious tbh. Like dude, they didn't just eat it because it was the only thing available, they ate it because it was decent good for cheap AND frying chicken is AMAZING.",
">\n\nOne of the best meals of my life was eaten in New Orleans at some lunch Buffett I found off the beaten path. I had about 7 pieces of fried chicken.",
">\n\nI literally just added stuff to make fried chicken to my instacart. Alas watermelons aren't available right now but holy shit I can't wait for a meal of fried chicken next week rofl. Prolly going cantaloupe",
">\n\nFor Cinco de Mayo, serve me tacos with a side of rice and beans. I’m Mexican American. I DO eat that and often",
">\n\nBack in the day. The mental institutions used to grow food and feed the institution. They would sell excess food to the prisons. The money received would help fund the hospital. The patients there had a job and responsibilities, giving them a sense of purpose.\nNow we have neither mental health care or home grown food. Instead we have Aramark.",
">\n\nThis sort of thing should be a teaching moment, though. Everyone eats food, so the history of food is really just... history, but through a lens that everyone can identify with.\nWatermelon was a staple crop among the freed slaves in the post-Civil War years due to being fast-growing, readily portable, and usable without infrastructure-intensive processing. That black people flocked to grow it didn't escape notice, and a whole bunch of negative stereotypes showed up almost immediately. Fried chicken, similar story. It first showed up in American in the first third of the nineteenth century, but took off after the war where it combined some Scottish frying techniques with West African seasoning styles.\nIt's okay to have a stereotypical food as part of a history month, because stereotypes are part of history, and we should examine them. It's critical to make it about the knowledge, though, and not \"oh lol yeah black people like watermelon, we'll do that.\"",
">\n\nEhh... yes and no.\nYou're right: this is a teachable moment. Stereotypes exist, and frankly we should be teaching kids about stereotypes with an eye for identifying harmful ones and not perpetuating them, while also identifying legitimate aspects of culture, and even how a thing can be both of those things depending on the context.\nBut serving stereotypes for lunch isn't the right context when you're cramming stereotypes in. Chicken and waffles? Sure. But maybe with a side of biscuits, or okra, or any number of other soul-food items that are more legitimate than stereotypical. Watermelon? Same thing, but maybe with a culturally relevant main that's not a raging stereotype.\nIt's the context that matters here. This is the school-lunch equivalent of Gabriel Iglesias' racist gift basket, except not done as a joke between good friends. It's not that any of the items are offensive in and of themselves, it's that when grouped together like that it's clearly an insensitive racial message, not an educational cultural one."
] |
>
That's really not a great analogy at all.
First--serving birthday cake at a birthday party actually is a cultural thing. So, when living in that culture, it's not a negative stereotype, just a cultural trait.
Second--in some hypothetical future society where kids are being taught about US culture around the turn of the millennium, serving birthday cake at a mock birthday party would be actually teaching the kids about that culture through participation in what amounts to a cultural ritual.
You'd have to frame it as "hurr durr, look at me, I'm a white guy, I'm eating birthday cake and and saltine crackers and a hot-dog aspic, now I'm going to put some mild hot sauce on a chicken wing and complain about it being too spicy" for it to be offensive. Much like "I'm eating what black people eat, look, fried chicken and watermelon."
|
[
"If I was a student I would just want to get rid of Aramark for the food. My grade school used them and it always tasted like shit.",
">\n\nWhen I first started working at my school the food was actually “decent” they made staff lunches and most teachers would get it almost every day. The food the kids got was pretty standard school food, but it was fine. Then Aramark came in. No more staff lunches and while we are certainly allowed to buy food from the student line, I don’t know a single adult that would. It’s pretty awful. \nHowever you know Aramark’s food sucks, but the contract the school signed is also super restrictive. Home economics teachers have a hard time ordering ingredients since all food purchases must go through Aramark. The school guarantees a certain number of days where lunch is served so all half days must have lunch even if the timing makes no sense. It even restricts how we handle emergency closures. Of course now the district doesn’t have to give any benefits to underpaid “lunch ladies” so it will never go away.",
">\n\nMy wife tried to be friendly with the trustees and she was effectively run out of the job for acting like they are human beings deserving of even the basics of human decency. This was in a prison though... Not sure about their school side 🤔\nYou cannot have a kind heart and work for Aramark, apparently.",
">\n\nSchool side and prison side are probably the same side.",
">\n\nWhen my campus had them the truck's next stop after us was San Quentin prison. \nThen we changed to a cheaper food supplier :(",
">\n\nThey reportedly were serving maggot and rat infested meals in Detroit prisons, as well as food taken out of the trash. You guys made the correct choice.",
">\n\nWe’re having homemade fried catfish, instant grits, collard greens, fried breaded okra and some black eyed peas for dinner and we always have enough for company!",
">\n\nNo self respecting southerner eats instant grits",
">\n\nSo how many minutes would it take to make your grits? Well perhaps the laws of physics cease to exist on your stove! Were these magic grits? I mean, did you buy them from the same guy who sold Jack his beanstalk beans?!",
">\n\nI love how any line from the movie I can hear in whoever's voice, with the exact ~~annunciation~~ enunciation and inflection.\nEdit - I no spell good.",
">\n\nThe two yoots",
">\n\nDid you say yoot?\nWhat is a yoot?",
">\n\nOh... excuse me your honor... two y o u u u t h h z z...",
">\n\nIs it possible the two defendant's...",
">\n\nPlease take this the right way. I mean this with a good heart. What would be a good menu to celebrate black heritage that wouldn't be offensive?",
">\n\nThe first thing I clicked on had fried chicken as an entree and watermelon salad as a side.",
">\n\nCause they're fucking delicious tbh. Like dude, they didn't just eat it because it was the only thing available, they ate it because it was decent good for cheap AND frying chicken is AMAZING.",
">\n\nOne of the best meals of my life was eaten in New Orleans at some lunch Buffett I found off the beaten path. I had about 7 pieces of fried chicken.",
">\n\nI literally just added stuff to make fried chicken to my instacart. Alas watermelons aren't available right now but holy shit I can't wait for a meal of fried chicken next week rofl. Prolly going cantaloupe",
">\n\nFor Cinco de Mayo, serve me tacos with a side of rice and beans. I’m Mexican American. I DO eat that and often",
">\n\nBack in the day. The mental institutions used to grow food and feed the institution. They would sell excess food to the prisons. The money received would help fund the hospital. The patients there had a job and responsibilities, giving them a sense of purpose.\nNow we have neither mental health care or home grown food. Instead we have Aramark.",
">\n\nThis sort of thing should be a teaching moment, though. Everyone eats food, so the history of food is really just... history, but through a lens that everyone can identify with.\nWatermelon was a staple crop among the freed slaves in the post-Civil War years due to being fast-growing, readily portable, and usable without infrastructure-intensive processing. That black people flocked to grow it didn't escape notice, and a whole bunch of negative stereotypes showed up almost immediately. Fried chicken, similar story. It first showed up in American in the first third of the nineteenth century, but took off after the war where it combined some Scottish frying techniques with West African seasoning styles.\nIt's okay to have a stereotypical food as part of a history month, because stereotypes are part of history, and we should examine them. It's critical to make it about the knowledge, though, and not \"oh lol yeah black people like watermelon, we'll do that.\"",
">\n\nEhh... yes and no.\nYou're right: this is a teachable moment. Stereotypes exist, and frankly we should be teaching kids about stereotypes with an eye for identifying harmful ones and not perpetuating them, while also identifying legitimate aspects of culture, and even how a thing can be both of those things depending on the context.\nBut serving stereotypes for lunch isn't the right context when you're cramming stereotypes in. Chicken and waffles? Sure. But maybe with a side of biscuits, or okra, or any number of other soul-food items that are more legitimate than stereotypical. Watermelon? Same thing, but maybe with a culturally relevant main that's not a raging stereotype.\nIt's the context that matters here. This is the school-lunch equivalent of Gabriel Iglesias' racist gift basket, except not done as a joke between good friends. It's not that any of the items are offensive in and of themselves, it's that when grouped together like that it's clearly an insensitive racial message, not an educational cultural one.",
">\n\nI'm gonna be fucking PISSED if someone serves me birthday cake for my next birthday. That shit is SO STEREOTYPICAL."
] |
>
I think it would be fine if the food was a part of a history lesson and taught kids that yes, these foods were stigmatized (despite being delicious). Ofcourse you couldn't even have that discussion in Texas or Florida.
A little girl has a crush on my son,.and missed his birthday party. So she got her parents to throw my son a second birthday party. They asked me what my son's favorite food was, and besides bagel and lox, his favorite was fried chicken and watermelon (he has a summer birthday btw).
For years my sister refused to eat watermelon and friend chicken, around non black people because she felt like she was playing into the stereotype. So she was not happy that I told that family, what my son's favorite food was.
Watermelon is a delicious healthy fruit, that's fun to eat, and I don't think we should let the next generation continue to be afraid of the stereotype. Especially because it's just fucking ridiculous. So they used to call watermelon's n-word apples. So fucking what.
|
[
"If I was a student I would just want to get rid of Aramark for the food. My grade school used them and it always tasted like shit.",
">\n\nWhen I first started working at my school the food was actually “decent” they made staff lunches and most teachers would get it almost every day. The food the kids got was pretty standard school food, but it was fine. Then Aramark came in. No more staff lunches and while we are certainly allowed to buy food from the student line, I don’t know a single adult that would. It’s pretty awful. \nHowever you know Aramark’s food sucks, but the contract the school signed is also super restrictive. Home economics teachers have a hard time ordering ingredients since all food purchases must go through Aramark. The school guarantees a certain number of days where lunch is served so all half days must have lunch even if the timing makes no sense. It even restricts how we handle emergency closures. Of course now the district doesn’t have to give any benefits to underpaid “lunch ladies” so it will never go away.",
">\n\nMy wife tried to be friendly with the trustees and she was effectively run out of the job for acting like they are human beings deserving of even the basics of human decency. This was in a prison though... Not sure about their school side 🤔\nYou cannot have a kind heart and work for Aramark, apparently.",
">\n\nSchool side and prison side are probably the same side.",
">\n\nWhen my campus had them the truck's next stop after us was San Quentin prison. \nThen we changed to a cheaper food supplier :(",
">\n\nThey reportedly were serving maggot and rat infested meals in Detroit prisons, as well as food taken out of the trash. You guys made the correct choice.",
">\n\nWe’re having homemade fried catfish, instant grits, collard greens, fried breaded okra and some black eyed peas for dinner and we always have enough for company!",
">\n\nNo self respecting southerner eats instant grits",
">\n\nSo how many minutes would it take to make your grits? Well perhaps the laws of physics cease to exist on your stove! Were these magic grits? I mean, did you buy them from the same guy who sold Jack his beanstalk beans?!",
">\n\nI love how any line from the movie I can hear in whoever's voice, with the exact ~~annunciation~~ enunciation and inflection.\nEdit - I no spell good.",
">\n\nThe two yoots",
">\n\nDid you say yoot?\nWhat is a yoot?",
">\n\nOh... excuse me your honor... two y o u u u t h h z z...",
">\n\nIs it possible the two defendant's...",
">\n\nPlease take this the right way. I mean this with a good heart. What would be a good menu to celebrate black heritage that wouldn't be offensive?",
">\n\nThe first thing I clicked on had fried chicken as an entree and watermelon salad as a side.",
">\n\nCause they're fucking delicious tbh. Like dude, they didn't just eat it because it was the only thing available, they ate it because it was decent good for cheap AND frying chicken is AMAZING.",
">\n\nOne of the best meals of my life was eaten in New Orleans at some lunch Buffett I found off the beaten path. I had about 7 pieces of fried chicken.",
">\n\nI literally just added stuff to make fried chicken to my instacart. Alas watermelons aren't available right now but holy shit I can't wait for a meal of fried chicken next week rofl. Prolly going cantaloupe",
">\n\nFor Cinco de Mayo, serve me tacos with a side of rice and beans. I’m Mexican American. I DO eat that and often",
">\n\nBack in the day. The mental institutions used to grow food and feed the institution. They would sell excess food to the prisons. The money received would help fund the hospital. The patients there had a job and responsibilities, giving them a sense of purpose.\nNow we have neither mental health care or home grown food. Instead we have Aramark.",
">\n\nThis sort of thing should be a teaching moment, though. Everyone eats food, so the history of food is really just... history, but through a lens that everyone can identify with.\nWatermelon was a staple crop among the freed slaves in the post-Civil War years due to being fast-growing, readily portable, and usable without infrastructure-intensive processing. That black people flocked to grow it didn't escape notice, and a whole bunch of negative stereotypes showed up almost immediately. Fried chicken, similar story. It first showed up in American in the first third of the nineteenth century, but took off after the war where it combined some Scottish frying techniques with West African seasoning styles.\nIt's okay to have a stereotypical food as part of a history month, because stereotypes are part of history, and we should examine them. It's critical to make it about the knowledge, though, and not \"oh lol yeah black people like watermelon, we'll do that.\"",
">\n\nEhh... yes and no.\nYou're right: this is a teachable moment. Stereotypes exist, and frankly we should be teaching kids about stereotypes with an eye for identifying harmful ones and not perpetuating them, while also identifying legitimate aspects of culture, and even how a thing can be both of those things depending on the context.\nBut serving stereotypes for lunch isn't the right context when you're cramming stereotypes in. Chicken and waffles? Sure. But maybe with a side of biscuits, or okra, or any number of other soul-food items that are more legitimate than stereotypical. Watermelon? Same thing, but maybe with a culturally relevant main that's not a raging stereotype.\nIt's the context that matters here. This is the school-lunch equivalent of Gabriel Iglesias' racist gift basket, except not done as a joke between good friends. It's not that any of the items are offensive in and of themselves, it's that when grouped together like that it's clearly an insensitive racial message, not an educational cultural one.",
">\n\nI'm gonna be fucking PISSED if someone serves me birthday cake for my next birthday. That shit is SO STEREOTYPICAL.",
">\n\nThat's really not a great analogy at all. \nFirst--serving birthday cake at a birthday party actually is a cultural thing. So, when living in that culture, it's not a negative stereotype, just a cultural trait.\nSecond--in some hypothetical future society where kids are being taught about US culture around the turn of the millennium, serving birthday cake at a mock birthday party would be actually teaching the kids about that culture through participation in what amounts to a cultural ritual. \nYou'd have to frame it as \"hurr durr, look at me, I'm a white guy, I'm eating birthday cake and and saltine crackers and a hot-dog aspic, now I'm going to put some mild hot sauce on a chicken wing and complain about it being too spicy\" for it to be offensive. Much like \"I'm eating what black people eat, look, fried chicken and watermelon.\""
] |
>
We've gotta just let comedians guide us through this shit. Dave Chapelle already did that a decade ago when he talked about fried and chicken and watermelon.
In the end it was like: "Who the fuck doesn't like fried chicken and watermelon?" And that's true, most people love it.
I agree with you completely. We gotta get past this stuff soon, it's really fucking up these most recent generations who don't realize how much better things got over the past few decades regarding racism. I feel like a lot of it is being undone now because people are tired of having to defend themselves in every direction.
|
[
"If I was a student I would just want to get rid of Aramark for the food. My grade school used them and it always tasted like shit.",
">\n\nWhen I first started working at my school the food was actually “decent” they made staff lunches and most teachers would get it almost every day. The food the kids got was pretty standard school food, but it was fine. Then Aramark came in. No more staff lunches and while we are certainly allowed to buy food from the student line, I don’t know a single adult that would. It’s pretty awful. \nHowever you know Aramark’s food sucks, but the contract the school signed is also super restrictive. Home economics teachers have a hard time ordering ingredients since all food purchases must go through Aramark. The school guarantees a certain number of days where lunch is served so all half days must have lunch even if the timing makes no sense. It even restricts how we handle emergency closures. Of course now the district doesn’t have to give any benefits to underpaid “lunch ladies” so it will never go away.",
">\n\nMy wife tried to be friendly with the trustees and she was effectively run out of the job for acting like they are human beings deserving of even the basics of human decency. This was in a prison though... Not sure about their school side 🤔\nYou cannot have a kind heart and work for Aramark, apparently.",
">\n\nSchool side and prison side are probably the same side.",
">\n\nWhen my campus had them the truck's next stop after us was San Quentin prison. \nThen we changed to a cheaper food supplier :(",
">\n\nThey reportedly were serving maggot and rat infested meals in Detroit prisons, as well as food taken out of the trash. You guys made the correct choice.",
">\n\nWe’re having homemade fried catfish, instant grits, collard greens, fried breaded okra and some black eyed peas for dinner and we always have enough for company!",
">\n\nNo self respecting southerner eats instant grits",
">\n\nSo how many minutes would it take to make your grits? Well perhaps the laws of physics cease to exist on your stove! Were these magic grits? I mean, did you buy them from the same guy who sold Jack his beanstalk beans?!",
">\n\nI love how any line from the movie I can hear in whoever's voice, with the exact ~~annunciation~~ enunciation and inflection.\nEdit - I no spell good.",
">\n\nThe two yoots",
">\n\nDid you say yoot?\nWhat is a yoot?",
">\n\nOh... excuse me your honor... two y o u u u t h h z z...",
">\n\nIs it possible the two defendant's...",
">\n\nPlease take this the right way. I mean this with a good heart. What would be a good menu to celebrate black heritage that wouldn't be offensive?",
">\n\nThe first thing I clicked on had fried chicken as an entree and watermelon salad as a side.",
">\n\nCause they're fucking delicious tbh. Like dude, they didn't just eat it because it was the only thing available, they ate it because it was decent good for cheap AND frying chicken is AMAZING.",
">\n\nOne of the best meals of my life was eaten in New Orleans at some lunch Buffett I found off the beaten path. I had about 7 pieces of fried chicken.",
">\n\nI literally just added stuff to make fried chicken to my instacart. Alas watermelons aren't available right now but holy shit I can't wait for a meal of fried chicken next week rofl. Prolly going cantaloupe",
">\n\nFor Cinco de Mayo, serve me tacos with a side of rice and beans. I’m Mexican American. I DO eat that and often",
">\n\nBack in the day. The mental institutions used to grow food and feed the institution. They would sell excess food to the prisons. The money received would help fund the hospital. The patients there had a job and responsibilities, giving them a sense of purpose.\nNow we have neither mental health care or home grown food. Instead we have Aramark.",
">\n\nThis sort of thing should be a teaching moment, though. Everyone eats food, so the history of food is really just... history, but through a lens that everyone can identify with.\nWatermelon was a staple crop among the freed slaves in the post-Civil War years due to being fast-growing, readily portable, and usable without infrastructure-intensive processing. That black people flocked to grow it didn't escape notice, and a whole bunch of negative stereotypes showed up almost immediately. Fried chicken, similar story. It first showed up in American in the first third of the nineteenth century, but took off after the war where it combined some Scottish frying techniques with West African seasoning styles.\nIt's okay to have a stereotypical food as part of a history month, because stereotypes are part of history, and we should examine them. It's critical to make it about the knowledge, though, and not \"oh lol yeah black people like watermelon, we'll do that.\"",
">\n\nEhh... yes and no.\nYou're right: this is a teachable moment. Stereotypes exist, and frankly we should be teaching kids about stereotypes with an eye for identifying harmful ones and not perpetuating them, while also identifying legitimate aspects of culture, and even how a thing can be both of those things depending on the context.\nBut serving stereotypes for lunch isn't the right context when you're cramming stereotypes in. Chicken and waffles? Sure. But maybe with a side of biscuits, or okra, or any number of other soul-food items that are more legitimate than stereotypical. Watermelon? Same thing, but maybe with a culturally relevant main that's not a raging stereotype.\nIt's the context that matters here. This is the school-lunch equivalent of Gabriel Iglesias' racist gift basket, except not done as a joke between good friends. It's not that any of the items are offensive in and of themselves, it's that when grouped together like that it's clearly an insensitive racial message, not an educational cultural one.",
">\n\nI'm gonna be fucking PISSED if someone serves me birthday cake for my next birthday. That shit is SO STEREOTYPICAL.",
">\n\nThat's really not a great analogy at all. \nFirst--serving birthday cake at a birthday party actually is a cultural thing. So, when living in that culture, it's not a negative stereotype, just a cultural trait.\nSecond--in some hypothetical future society where kids are being taught about US culture around the turn of the millennium, serving birthday cake at a mock birthday party would be actually teaching the kids about that culture through participation in what amounts to a cultural ritual. \nYou'd have to frame it as \"hurr durr, look at me, I'm a white guy, I'm eating birthday cake and and saltine crackers and a hot-dog aspic, now I'm going to put some mild hot sauce on a chicken wing and complain about it being too spicy\" for it to be offensive. Much like \"I'm eating what black people eat, look, fried chicken and watermelon.\"",
">\n\nI think it would be fine if the food was a part of a history lesson and taught kids that yes, these foods were stigmatized (despite being delicious). Ofcourse you couldn't even have that discussion in Texas or Florida.\nA little girl has a crush on my son,.and missed his birthday party. So she got her parents to throw my son a second birthday party. They asked me what my son's favorite food was, and besides bagel and lox, his favorite was fried chicken and watermelon (he has a summer birthday btw).\nFor years my sister refused to eat watermelon and friend chicken, around non black people because she felt like she was playing into the stereotype. So she was not happy that I told that family, what my son's favorite food was. \nWatermelon is a delicious healthy fruit, that's fun to eat, and I don't think we should let the next generation continue to be afraid of the stereotype. Especially because it's just fucking ridiculous. So they used to call watermelon's n-word apples. So fucking what."
] |
>
I really don't think its gotten any better, in fact its gotten worse, with law makers passing laws to attack segments of the population they want to oppress.
|
[
"If I was a student I would just want to get rid of Aramark for the food. My grade school used them and it always tasted like shit.",
">\n\nWhen I first started working at my school the food was actually “decent” they made staff lunches and most teachers would get it almost every day. The food the kids got was pretty standard school food, but it was fine. Then Aramark came in. No more staff lunches and while we are certainly allowed to buy food from the student line, I don’t know a single adult that would. It’s pretty awful. \nHowever you know Aramark’s food sucks, but the contract the school signed is also super restrictive. Home economics teachers have a hard time ordering ingredients since all food purchases must go through Aramark. The school guarantees a certain number of days where lunch is served so all half days must have lunch even if the timing makes no sense. It even restricts how we handle emergency closures. Of course now the district doesn’t have to give any benefits to underpaid “lunch ladies” so it will never go away.",
">\n\nMy wife tried to be friendly with the trustees and she was effectively run out of the job for acting like they are human beings deserving of even the basics of human decency. This was in a prison though... Not sure about their school side 🤔\nYou cannot have a kind heart and work for Aramark, apparently.",
">\n\nSchool side and prison side are probably the same side.",
">\n\nWhen my campus had them the truck's next stop after us was San Quentin prison. \nThen we changed to a cheaper food supplier :(",
">\n\nThey reportedly were serving maggot and rat infested meals in Detroit prisons, as well as food taken out of the trash. You guys made the correct choice.",
">\n\nWe’re having homemade fried catfish, instant grits, collard greens, fried breaded okra and some black eyed peas for dinner and we always have enough for company!",
">\n\nNo self respecting southerner eats instant grits",
">\n\nSo how many minutes would it take to make your grits? Well perhaps the laws of physics cease to exist on your stove! Were these magic grits? I mean, did you buy them from the same guy who sold Jack his beanstalk beans?!",
">\n\nI love how any line from the movie I can hear in whoever's voice, with the exact ~~annunciation~~ enunciation and inflection.\nEdit - I no spell good.",
">\n\nThe two yoots",
">\n\nDid you say yoot?\nWhat is a yoot?",
">\n\nOh... excuse me your honor... two y o u u u t h h z z...",
">\n\nIs it possible the two defendant's...",
">\n\nPlease take this the right way. I mean this with a good heart. What would be a good menu to celebrate black heritage that wouldn't be offensive?",
">\n\nThe first thing I clicked on had fried chicken as an entree and watermelon salad as a side.",
">\n\nCause they're fucking delicious tbh. Like dude, they didn't just eat it because it was the only thing available, they ate it because it was decent good for cheap AND frying chicken is AMAZING.",
">\n\nOne of the best meals of my life was eaten in New Orleans at some lunch Buffett I found off the beaten path. I had about 7 pieces of fried chicken.",
">\n\nI literally just added stuff to make fried chicken to my instacart. Alas watermelons aren't available right now but holy shit I can't wait for a meal of fried chicken next week rofl. Prolly going cantaloupe",
">\n\nFor Cinco de Mayo, serve me tacos with a side of rice and beans. I’m Mexican American. I DO eat that and often",
">\n\nBack in the day. The mental institutions used to grow food and feed the institution. They would sell excess food to the prisons. The money received would help fund the hospital. The patients there had a job and responsibilities, giving them a sense of purpose.\nNow we have neither mental health care or home grown food. Instead we have Aramark.",
">\n\nThis sort of thing should be a teaching moment, though. Everyone eats food, so the history of food is really just... history, but through a lens that everyone can identify with.\nWatermelon was a staple crop among the freed slaves in the post-Civil War years due to being fast-growing, readily portable, and usable without infrastructure-intensive processing. That black people flocked to grow it didn't escape notice, and a whole bunch of negative stereotypes showed up almost immediately. Fried chicken, similar story. It first showed up in American in the first third of the nineteenth century, but took off after the war where it combined some Scottish frying techniques with West African seasoning styles.\nIt's okay to have a stereotypical food as part of a history month, because stereotypes are part of history, and we should examine them. It's critical to make it about the knowledge, though, and not \"oh lol yeah black people like watermelon, we'll do that.\"",
">\n\nEhh... yes and no.\nYou're right: this is a teachable moment. Stereotypes exist, and frankly we should be teaching kids about stereotypes with an eye for identifying harmful ones and not perpetuating them, while also identifying legitimate aspects of culture, and even how a thing can be both of those things depending on the context.\nBut serving stereotypes for lunch isn't the right context when you're cramming stereotypes in. Chicken and waffles? Sure. But maybe with a side of biscuits, or okra, or any number of other soul-food items that are more legitimate than stereotypical. Watermelon? Same thing, but maybe with a culturally relevant main that's not a raging stereotype.\nIt's the context that matters here. This is the school-lunch equivalent of Gabriel Iglesias' racist gift basket, except not done as a joke between good friends. It's not that any of the items are offensive in and of themselves, it's that when grouped together like that it's clearly an insensitive racial message, not an educational cultural one.",
">\n\nI'm gonna be fucking PISSED if someone serves me birthday cake for my next birthday. That shit is SO STEREOTYPICAL.",
">\n\nThat's really not a great analogy at all. \nFirst--serving birthday cake at a birthday party actually is a cultural thing. So, when living in that culture, it's not a negative stereotype, just a cultural trait.\nSecond--in some hypothetical future society where kids are being taught about US culture around the turn of the millennium, serving birthday cake at a mock birthday party would be actually teaching the kids about that culture through participation in what amounts to a cultural ritual. \nYou'd have to frame it as \"hurr durr, look at me, I'm a white guy, I'm eating birthday cake and and saltine crackers and a hot-dog aspic, now I'm going to put some mild hot sauce on a chicken wing and complain about it being too spicy\" for it to be offensive. Much like \"I'm eating what black people eat, look, fried chicken and watermelon.\"",
">\n\nI think it would be fine if the food was a part of a history lesson and taught kids that yes, these foods were stigmatized (despite being delicious). Ofcourse you couldn't even have that discussion in Texas or Florida.\nA little girl has a crush on my son,.and missed his birthday party. So she got her parents to throw my son a second birthday party. They asked me what my son's favorite food was, and besides bagel and lox, his favorite was fried chicken and watermelon (he has a summer birthday btw).\nFor years my sister refused to eat watermelon and friend chicken, around non black people because she felt like she was playing into the stereotype. So she was not happy that I told that family, what my son's favorite food was. \nWatermelon is a delicious healthy fruit, that's fun to eat, and I don't think we should let the next generation continue to be afraid of the stereotype. Especially because it's just fucking ridiculous. So they used to call watermelon's n-word apples. So fucking what.",
">\n\nWe've gotta just let comedians guide us through this shit. Dave Chapelle already did that a decade ago when he talked about fried and chicken and watermelon.\nIn the end it was like: \"Who the fuck doesn't like fried chicken and watermelon?\" And that's true, most people love it.\nI agree with you completely. We gotta get past this stuff soon, it's really fucking up these most recent generations who don't realize how much better things got over the past few decades regarding racism. I feel like a lot of it is being undone now because people are tired of having to defend themselves in every direction."
] |
>
The trajectory has been bumpy for sure. I certainly feel racism is much less an issue today than it was in the 60's for example. That said, I also feel racism is worse today than it was 10-15 years ago. It's subjective.
|
[
"If I was a student I would just want to get rid of Aramark for the food. My grade school used them and it always tasted like shit.",
">\n\nWhen I first started working at my school the food was actually “decent” they made staff lunches and most teachers would get it almost every day. The food the kids got was pretty standard school food, but it was fine. Then Aramark came in. No more staff lunches and while we are certainly allowed to buy food from the student line, I don’t know a single adult that would. It’s pretty awful. \nHowever you know Aramark’s food sucks, but the contract the school signed is also super restrictive. Home economics teachers have a hard time ordering ingredients since all food purchases must go through Aramark. The school guarantees a certain number of days where lunch is served so all half days must have lunch even if the timing makes no sense. It even restricts how we handle emergency closures. Of course now the district doesn’t have to give any benefits to underpaid “lunch ladies” so it will never go away.",
">\n\nMy wife tried to be friendly with the trustees and she was effectively run out of the job for acting like they are human beings deserving of even the basics of human decency. This was in a prison though... Not sure about their school side 🤔\nYou cannot have a kind heart and work for Aramark, apparently.",
">\n\nSchool side and prison side are probably the same side.",
">\n\nWhen my campus had them the truck's next stop after us was San Quentin prison. \nThen we changed to a cheaper food supplier :(",
">\n\nThey reportedly were serving maggot and rat infested meals in Detroit prisons, as well as food taken out of the trash. You guys made the correct choice.",
">\n\nWe’re having homemade fried catfish, instant grits, collard greens, fried breaded okra and some black eyed peas for dinner and we always have enough for company!",
">\n\nNo self respecting southerner eats instant grits",
">\n\nSo how many minutes would it take to make your grits? Well perhaps the laws of physics cease to exist on your stove! Were these magic grits? I mean, did you buy them from the same guy who sold Jack his beanstalk beans?!",
">\n\nI love how any line from the movie I can hear in whoever's voice, with the exact ~~annunciation~~ enunciation and inflection.\nEdit - I no spell good.",
">\n\nThe two yoots",
">\n\nDid you say yoot?\nWhat is a yoot?",
">\n\nOh... excuse me your honor... two y o u u u t h h z z...",
">\n\nIs it possible the two defendant's...",
">\n\nPlease take this the right way. I mean this with a good heart. What would be a good menu to celebrate black heritage that wouldn't be offensive?",
">\n\nThe first thing I clicked on had fried chicken as an entree and watermelon salad as a side.",
">\n\nCause they're fucking delicious tbh. Like dude, they didn't just eat it because it was the only thing available, they ate it because it was decent good for cheap AND frying chicken is AMAZING.",
">\n\nOne of the best meals of my life was eaten in New Orleans at some lunch Buffett I found off the beaten path. I had about 7 pieces of fried chicken.",
">\n\nI literally just added stuff to make fried chicken to my instacart. Alas watermelons aren't available right now but holy shit I can't wait for a meal of fried chicken next week rofl. Prolly going cantaloupe",
">\n\nFor Cinco de Mayo, serve me tacos with a side of rice and beans. I’m Mexican American. I DO eat that and often",
">\n\nBack in the day. The mental institutions used to grow food and feed the institution. They would sell excess food to the prisons. The money received would help fund the hospital. The patients there had a job and responsibilities, giving them a sense of purpose.\nNow we have neither mental health care or home grown food. Instead we have Aramark.",
">\n\nThis sort of thing should be a teaching moment, though. Everyone eats food, so the history of food is really just... history, but through a lens that everyone can identify with.\nWatermelon was a staple crop among the freed slaves in the post-Civil War years due to being fast-growing, readily portable, and usable without infrastructure-intensive processing. That black people flocked to grow it didn't escape notice, and a whole bunch of negative stereotypes showed up almost immediately. Fried chicken, similar story. It first showed up in American in the first third of the nineteenth century, but took off after the war where it combined some Scottish frying techniques with West African seasoning styles.\nIt's okay to have a stereotypical food as part of a history month, because stereotypes are part of history, and we should examine them. It's critical to make it about the knowledge, though, and not \"oh lol yeah black people like watermelon, we'll do that.\"",
">\n\nEhh... yes and no.\nYou're right: this is a teachable moment. Stereotypes exist, and frankly we should be teaching kids about stereotypes with an eye for identifying harmful ones and not perpetuating them, while also identifying legitimate aspects of culture, and even how a thing can be both of those things depending on the context.\nBut serving stereotypes for lunch isn't the right context when you're cramming stereotypes in. Chicken and waffles? Sure. But maybe with a side of biscuits, or okra, or any number of other soul-food items that are more legitimate than stereotypical. Watermelon? Same thing, but maybe with a culturally relevant main that's not a raging stereotype.\nIt's the context that matters here. This is the school-lunch equivalent of Gabriel Iglesias' racist gift basket, except not done as a joke between good friends. It's not that any of the items are offensive in and of themselves, it's that when grouped together like that it's clearly an insensitive racial message, not an educational cultural one.",
">\n\nI'm gonna be fucking PISSED if someone serves me birthday cake for my next birthday. That shit is SO STEREOTYPICAL.",
">\n\nThat's really not a great analogy at all. \nFirst--serving birthday cake at a birthday party actually is a cultural thing. So, when living in that culture, it's not a negative stereotype, just a cultural trait.\nSecond--in some hypothetical future society where kids are being taught about US culture around the turn of the millennium, serving birthday cake at a mock birthday party would be actually teaching the kids about that culture through participation in what amounts to a cultural ritual. \nYou'd have to frame it as \"hurr durr, look at me, I'm a white guy, I'm eating birthday cake and and saltine crackers and a hot-dog aspic, now I'm going to put some mild hot sauce on a chicken wing and complain about it being too spicy\" for it to be offensive. Much like \"I'm eating what black people eat, look, fried chicken and watermelon.\"",
">\n\nI think it would be fine if the food was a part of a history lesson and taught kids that yes, these foods were stigmatized (despite being delicious). Ofcourse you couldn't even have that discussion in Texas or Florida.\nA little girl has a crush on my son,.and missed his birthday party. So she got her parents to throw my son a second birthday party. They asked me what my son's favorite food was, and besides bagel and lox, his favorite was fried chicken and watermelon (he has a summer birthday btw).\nFor years my sister refused to eat watermelon and friend chicken, around non black people because she felt like she was playing into the stereotype. So she was not happy that I told that family, what my son's favorite food was. \nWatermelon is a delicious healthy fruit, that's fun to eat, and I don't think we should let the next generation continue to be afraid of the stereotype. Especially because it's just fucking ridiculous. So they used to call watermelon's n-word apples. So fucking what.",
">\n\nWe've gotta just let comedians guide us through this shit. Dave Chapelle already did that a decade ago when he talked about fried and chicken and watermelon.\nIn the end it was like: \"Who the fuck doesn't like fried chicken and watermelon?\" And that's true, most people love it.\nI agree with you completely. We gotta get past this stuff soon, it's really fucking up these most recent generations who don't realize how much better things got over the past few decades regarding racism. I feel like a lot of it is being undone now because people are tired of having to defend themselves in every direction.",
">\n\nI really don't think its gotten any better, in fact its gotten worse, with law makers passing laws to attack segments of the population they want to oppress."
] |
>
there is so much less racism in society today, but many more things are considered racist by default depending on the ethnicity of the group in question. celebratory if done by the ethnicity that’s being celebrated or another minority, performative or racist if done by white. side effects of social media and resegregation efforts tbh
|
[
"If I was a student I would just want to get rid of Aramark for the food. My grade school used them and it always tasted like shit.",
">\n\nWhen I first started working at my school the food was actually “decent” they made staff lunches and most teachers would get it almost every day. The food the kids got was pretty standard school food, but it was fine. Then Aramark came in. No more staff lunches and while we are certainly allowed to buy food from the student line, I don’t know a single adult that would. It’s pretty awful. \nHowever you know Aramark’s food sucks, but the contract the school signed is also super restrictive. Home economics teachers have a hard time ordering ingredients since all food purchases must go through Aramark. The school guarantees a certain number of days where lunch is served so all half days must have lunch even if the timing makes no sense. It even restricts how we handle emergency closures. Of course now the district doesn’t have to give any benefits to underpaid “lunch ladies” so it will never go away.",
">\n\nMy wife tried to be friendly with the trustees and she was effectively run out of the job for acting like they are human beings deserving of even the basics of human decency. This was in a prison though... Not sure about their school side 🤔\nYou cannot have a kind heart and work for Aramark, apparently.",
">\n\nSchool side and prison side are probably the same side.",
">\n\nWhen my campus had them the truck's next stop after us was San Quentin prison. \nThen we changed to a cheaper food supplier :(",
">\n\nThey reportedly were serving maggot and rat infested meals in Detroit prisons, as well as food taken out of the trash. You guys made the correct choice.",
">\n\nWe’re having homemade fried catfish, instant grits, collard greens, fried breaded okra and some black eyed peas for dinner and we always have enough for company!",
">\n\nNo self respecting southerner eats instant grits",
">\n\nSo how many minutes would it take to make your grits? Well perhaps the laws of physics cease to exist on your stove! Were these magic grits? I mean, did you buy them from the same guy who sold Jack his beanstalk beans?!",
">\n\nI love how any line from the movie I can hear in whoever's voice, with the exact ~~annunciation~~ enunciation and inflection.\nEdit - I no spell good.",
">\n\nThe two yoots",
">\n\nDid you say yoot?\nWhat is a yoot?",
">\n\nOh... excuse me your honor... two y o u u u t h h z z...",
">\n\nIs it possible the two defendant's...",
">\n\nPlease take this the right way. I mean this with a good heart. What would be a good menu to celebrate black heritage that wouldn't be offensive?",
">\n\nThe first thing I clicked on had fried chicken as an entree and watermelon salad as a side.",
">\n\nCause they're fucking delicious tbh. Like dude, they didn't just eat it because it was the only thing available, they ate it because it was decent good for cheap AND frying chicken is AMAZING.",
">\n\nOne of the best meals of my life was eaten in New Orleans at some lunch Buffett I found off the beaten path. I had about 7 pieces of fried chicken.",
">\n\nI literally just added stuff to make fried chicken to my instacart. Alas watermelons aren't available right now but holy shit I can't wait for a meal of fried chicken next week rofl. Prolly going cantaloupe",
">\n\nFor Cinco de Mayo, serve me tacos with a side of rice and beans. I’m Mexican American. I DO eat that and often",
">\n\nBack in the day. The mental institutions used to grow food and feed the institution. They would sell excess food to the prisons. The money received would help fund the hospital. The patients there had a job and responsibilities, giving them a sense of purpose.\nNow we have neither mental health care or home grown food. Instead we have Aramark.",
">\n\nThis sort of thing should be a teaching moment, though. Everyone eats food, so the history of food is really just... history, but through a lens that everyone can identify with.\nWatermelon was a staple crop among the freed slaves in the post-Civil War years due to being fast-growing, readily portable, and usable without infrastructure-intensive processing. That black people flocked to grow it didn't escape notice, and a whole bunch of negative stereotypes showed up almost immediately. Fried chicken, similar story. It first showed up in American in the first third of the nineteenth century, but took off after the war where it combined some Scottish frying techniques with West African seasoning styles.\nIt's okay to have a stereotypical food as part of a history month, because stereotypes are part of history, and we should examine them. It's critical to make it about the knowledge, though, and not \"oh lol yeah black people like watermelon, we'll do that.\"",
">\n\nEhh... yes and no.\nYou're right: this is a teachable moment. Stereotypes exist, and frankly we should be teaching kids about stereotypes with an eye for identifying harmful ones and not perpetuating them, while also identifying legitimate aspects of culture, and even how a thing can be both of those things depending on the context.\nBut serving stereotypes for lunch isn't the right context when you're cramming stereotypes in. Chicken and waffles? Sure. But maybe with a side of biscuits, or okra, or any number of other soul-food items that are more legitimate than stereotypical. Watermelon? Same thing, but maybe with a culturally relevant main that's not a raging stereotype.\nIt's the context that matters here. This is the school-lunch equivalent of Gabriel Iglesias' racist gift basket, except not done as a joke between good friends. It's not that any of the items are offensive in and of themselves, it's that when grouped together like that it's clearly an insensitive racial message, not an educational cultural one.",
">\n\nI'm gonna be fucking PISSED if someone serves me birthday cake for my next birthday. That shit is SO STEREOTYPICAL.",
">\n\nThat's really not a great analogy at all. \nFirst--serving birthday cake at a birthday party actually is a cultural thing. So, when living in that culture, it's not a negative stereotype, just a cultural trait.\nSecond--in some hypothetical future society where kids are being taught about US culture around the turn of the millennium, serving birthday cake at a mock birthday party would be actually teaching the kids about that culture through participation in what amounts to a cultural ritual. \nYou'd have to frame it as \"hurr durr, look at me, I'm a white guy, I'm eating birthday cake and and saltine crackers and a hot-dog aspic, now I'm going to put some mild hot sauce on a chicken wing and complain about it being too spicy\" for it to be offensive. Much like \"I'm eating what black people eat, look, fried chicken and watermelon.\"",
">\n\nI think it would be fine if the food was a part of a history lesson and taught kids that yes, these foods were stigmatized (despite being delicious). Ofcourse you couldn't even have that discussion in Texas or Florida.\nA little girl has a crush on my son,.and missed his birthday party. So she got her parents to throw my son a second birthday party. They asked me what my son's favorite food was, and besides bagel and lox, his favorite was fried chicken and watermelon (he has a summer birthday btw).\nFor years my sister refused to eat watermelon and friend chicken, around non black people because she felt like she was playing into the stereotype. So she was not happy that I told that family, what my son's favorite food was. \nWatermelon is a delicious healthy fruit, that's fun to eat, and I don't think we should let the next generation continue to be afraid of the stereotype. Especially because it's just fucking ridiculous. So they used to call watermelon's n-word apples. So fucking what.",
">\n\nWe've gotta just let comedians guide us through this shit. Dave Chapelle already did that a decade ago when he talked about fried and chicken and watermelon.\nIn the end it was like: \"Who the fuck doesn't like fried chicken and watermelon?\" And that's true, most people love it.\nI agree with you completely. We gotta get past this stuff soon, it's really fucking up these most recent generations who don't realize how much better things got over the past few decades regarding racism. I feel like a lot of it is being undone now because people are tired of having to defend themselves in every direction.",
">\n\nI really don't think its gotten any better, in fact its gotten worse, with law makers passing laws to attack segments of the population they want to oppress.",
">\n\nThe trajectory has been bumpy for sure. I certainly feel racism is much less an issue today than it was in the 60's for example. That said, I also feel racism is worse today than it was 10-15 years ago. It's subjective."
] |
>
Way less of the racism that was fought against, but new racism has popped up in its place. Much of it also comes from the side most opposed to racism, which is hilariously ironic. Then there is the divide. Despite the fact there is less racism, many people actually think it is a bigger problem than ever.
I don't know what to do about it, I just know I am sick of it and so are plenty of others. I'd love to see the pendulum arrive to its rightful place: judge people for who they are, not what they look like.
|
[
"If I was a student I would just want to get rid of Aramark for the food. My grade school used them and it always tasted like shit.",
">\n\nWhen I first started working at my school the food was actually “decent” they made staff lunches and most teachers would get it almost every day. The food the kids got was pretty standard school food, but it was fine. Then Aramark came in. No more staff lunches and while we are certainly allowed to buy food from the student line, I don’t know a single adult that would. It’s pretty awful. \nHowever you know Aramark’s food sucks, but the contract the school signed is also super restrictive. Home economics teachers have a hard time ordering ingredients since all food purchases must go through Aramark. The school guarantees a certain number of days where lunch is served so all half days must have lunch even if the timing makes no sense. It even restricts how we handle emergency closures. Of course now the district doesn’t have to give any benefits to underpaid “lunch ladies” so it will never go away.",
">\n\nMy wife tried to be friendly with the trustees and she was effectively run out of the job for acting like they are human beings deserving of even the basics of human decency. This was in a prison though... Not sure about their school side 🤔\nYou cannot have a kind heart and work for Aramark, apparently.",
">\n\nSchool side and prison side are probably the same side.",
">\n\nWhen my campus had them the truck's next stop after us was San Quentin prison. \nThen we changed to a cheaper food supplier :(",
">\n\nThey reportedly were serving maggot and rat infested meals in Detroit prisons, as well as food taken out of the trash. You guys made the correct choice.",
">\n\nWe’re having homemade fried catfish, instant grits, collard greens, fried breaded okra and some black eyed peas for dinner and we always have enough for company!",
">\n\nNo self respecting southerner eats instant grits",
">\n\nSo how many minutes would it take to make your grits? Well perhaps the laws of physics cease to exist on your stove! Were these magic grits? I mean, did you buy them from the same guy who sold Jack his beanstalk beans?!",
">\n\nI love how any line from the movie I can hear in whoever's voice, with the exact ~~annunciation~~ enunciation and inflection.\nEdit - I no spell good.",
">\n\nThe two yoots",
">\n\nDid you say yoot?\nWhat is a yoot?",
">\n\nOh... excuse me your honor... two y o u u u t h h z z...",
">\n\nIs it possible the two defendant's...",
">\n\nPlease take this the right way. I mean this with a good heart. What would be a good menu to celebrate black heritage that wouldn't be offensive?",
">\n\nThe first thing I clicked on had fried chicken as an entree and watermelon salad as a side.",
">\n\nCause they're fucking delicious tbh. Like dude, they didn't just eat it because it was the only thing available, they ate it because it was decent good for cheap AND frying chicken is AMAZING.",
">\n\nOne of the best meals of my life was eaten in New Orleans at some lunch Buffett I found off the beaten path. I had about 7 pieces of fried chicken.",
">\n\nI literally just added stuff to make fried chicken to my instacart. Alas watermelons aren't available right now but holy shit I can't wait for a meal of fried chicken next week rofl. Prolly going cantaloupe",
">\n\nFor Cinco de Mayo, serve me tacos with a side of rice and beans. I’m Mexican American. I DO eat that and often",
">\n\nBack in the day. The mental institutions used to grow food and feed the institution. They would sell excess food to the prisons. The money received would help fund the hospital. The patients there had a job and responsibilities, giving them a sense of purpose.\nNow we have neither mental health care or home grown food. Instead we have Aramark.",
">\n\nThis sort of thing should be a teaching moment, though. Everyone eats food, so the history of food is really just... history, but through a lens that everyone can identify with.\nWatermelon was a staple crop among the freed slaves in the post-Civil War years due to being fast-growing, readily portable, and usable without infrastructure-intensive processing. That black people flocked to grow it didn't escape notice, and a whole bunch of negative stereotypes showed up almost immediately. Fried chicken, similar story. It first showed up in American in the first third of the nineteenth century, but took off after the war where it combined some Scottish frying techniques with West African seasoning styles.\nIt's okay to have a stereotypical food as part of a history month, because stereotypes are part of history, and we should examine them. It's critical to make it about the knowledge, though, and not \"oh lol yeah black people like watermelon, we'll do that.\"",
">\n\nEhh... yes and no.\nYou're right: this is a teachable moment. Stereotypes exist, and frankly we should be teaching kids about stereotypes with an eye for identifying harmful ones and not perpetuating them, while also identifying legitimate aspects of culture, and even how a thing can be both of those things depending on the context.\nBut serving stereotypes for lunch isn't the right context when you're cramming stereotypes in. Chicken and waffles? Sure. But maybe with a side of biscuits, or okra, or any number of other soul-food items that are more legitimate than stereotypical. Watermelon? Same thing, but maybe with a culturally relevant main that's not a raging stereotype.\nIt's the context that matters here. This is the school-lunch equivalent of Gabriel Iglesias' racist gift basket, except not done as a joke between good friends. It's not that any of the items are offensive in and of themselves, it's that when grouped together like that it's clearly an insensitive racial message, not an educational cultural one.",
">\n\nI'm gonna be fucking PISSED if someone serves me birthday cake for my next birthday. That shit is SO STEREOTYPICAL.",
">\n\nThat's really not a great analogy at all. \nFirst--serving birthday cake at a birthday party actually is a cultural thing. So, when living in that culture, it's not a negative stereotype, just a cultural trait.\nSecond--in some hypothetical future society where kids are being taught about US culture around the turn of the millennium, serving birthday cake at a mock birthday party would be actually teaching the kids about that culture through participation in what amounts to a cultural ritual. \nYou'd have to frame it as \"hurr durr, look at me, I'm a white guy, I'm eating birthday cake and and saltine crackers and a hot-dog aspic, now I'm going to put some mild hot sauce on a chicken wing and complain about it being too spicy\" for it to be offensive. Much like \"I'm eating what black people eat, look, fried chicken and watermelon.\"",
">\n\nI think it would be fine if the food was a part of a history lesson and taught kids that yes, these foods were stigmatized (despite being delicious). Ofcourse you couldn't even have that discussion in Texas or Florida.\nA little girl has a crush on my son,.and missed his birthday party. So she got her parents to throw my son a second birthday party. They asked me what my son's favorite food was, and besides bagel and lox, his favorite was fried chicken and watermelon (he has a summer birthday btw).\nFor years my sister refused to eat watermelon and friend chicken, around non black people because she felt like she was playing into the stereotype. So she was not happy that I told that family, what my son's favorite food was. \nWatermelon is a delicious healthy fruit, that's fun to eat, and I don't think we should let the next generation continue to be afraid of the stereotype. Especially because it's just fucking ridiculous. So they used to call watermelon's n-word apples. So fucking what.",
">\n\nWe've gotta just let comedians guide us through this shit. Dave Chapelle already did that a decade ago when he talked about fried and chicken and watermelon.\nIn the end it was like: \"Who the fuck doesn't like fried chicken and watermelon?\" And that's true, most people love it.\nI agree with you completely. We gotta get past this stuff soon, it's really fucking up these most recent generations who don't realize how much better things got over the past few decades regarding racism. I feel like a lot of it is being undone now because people are tired of having to defend themselves in every direction.",
">\n\nI really don't think its gotten any better, in fact its gotten worse, with law makers passing laws to attack segments of the population they want to oppress.",
">\n\nThe trajectory has been bumpy for sure. I certainly feel racism is much less an issue today than it was in the 60's for example. That said, I also feel racism is worse today than it was 10-15 years ago. It's subjective.",
">\n\nthere is so much less racism in society today, but many more things are considered racist by default depending on the ethnicity of the group in question. celebratory if done by the ethnicity that’s being celebrated or another minority, performative or racist if done by white. side effects of social media and resegregation efforts tbh"
] |
>
Comments about this make me think the watermelon stereotype isn't as prevalent as it was when I was growing up. But TLDR for anyone unaware of it, it's a Reconstruction era racism that black people had no higher ambitions than a farm animal that wants to be fed its favourite snack like a good boy.
|
[
"If I was a student I would just want to get rid of Aramark for the food. My grade school used them and it always tasted like shit.",
">\n\nWhen I first started working at my school the food was actually “decent” they made staff lunches and most teachers would get it almost every day. The food the kids got was pretty standard school food, but it was fine. Then Aramark came in. No more staff lunches and while we are certainly allowed to buy food from the student line, I don’t know a single adult that would. It’s pretty awful. \nHowever you know Aramark’s food sucks, but the contract the school signed is also super restrictive. Home economics teachers have a hard time ordering ingredients since all food purchases must go through Aramark. The school guarantees a certain number of days where lunch is served so all half days must have lunch even if the timing makes no sense. It even restricts how we handle emergency closures. Of course now the district doesn’t have to give any benefits to underpaid “lunch ladies” so it will never go away.",
">\n\nMy wife tried to be friendly with the trustees and she was effectively run out of the job for acting like they are human beings deserving of even the basics of human decency. This was in a prison though... Not sure about their school side 🤔\nYou cannot have a kind heart and work for Aramark, apparently.",
">\n\nSchool side and prison side are probably the same side.",
">\n\nWhen my campus had them the truck's next stop after us was San Quentin prison. \nThen we changed to a cheaper food supplier :(",
">\n\nThey reportedly were serving maggot and rat infested meals in Detroit prisons, as well as food taken out of the trash. You guys made the correct choice.",
">\n\nWe’re having homemade fried catfish, instant grits, collard greens, fried breaded okra and some black eyed peas for dinner and we always have enough for company!",
">\n\nNo self respecting southerner eats instant grits",
">\n\nSo how many minutes would it take to make your grits? Well perhaps the laws of physics cease to exist on your stove! Were these magic grits? I mean, did you buy them from the same guy who sold Jack his beanstalk beans?!",
">\n\nI love how any line from the movie I can hear in whoever's voice, with the exact ~~annunciation~~ enunciation and inflection.\nEdit - I no spell good.",
">\n\nThe two yoots",
">\n\nDid you say yoot?\nWhat is a yoot?",
">\n\nOh... excuse me your honor... two y o u u u t h h z z...",
">\n\nIs it possible the two defendant's...",
">\n\nPlease take this the right way. I mean this with a good heart. What would be a good menu to celebrate black heritage that wouldn't be offensive?",
">\n\nThe first thing I clicked on had fried chicken as an entree and watermelon salad as a side.",
">\n\nCause they're fucking delicious tbh. Like dude, they didn't just eat it because it was the only thing available, they ate it because it was decent good for cheap AND frying chicken is AMAZING.",
">\n\nOne of the best meals of my life was eaten in New Orleans at some lunch Buffett I found off the beaten path. I had about 7 pieces of fried chicken.",
">\n\nI literally just added stuff to make fried chicken to my instacart. Alas watermelons aren't available right now but holy shit I can't wait for a meal of fried chicken next week rofl. Prolly going cantaloupe",
">\n\nFor Cinco de Mayo, serve me tacos with a side of rice and beans. I’m Mexican American. I DO eat that and often",
">\n\nBack in the day. The mental institutions used to grow food and feed the institution. They would sell excess food to the prisons. The money received would help fund the hospital. The patients there had a job and responsibilities, giving them a sense of purpose.\nNow we have neither mental health care or home grown food. Instead we have Aramark.",
">\n\nThis sort of thing should be a teaching moment, though. Everyone eats food, so the history of food is really just... history, but through a lens that everyone can identify with.\nWatermelon was a staple crop among the freed slaves in the post-Civil War years due to being fast-growing, readily portable, and usable without infrastructure-intensive processing. That black people flocked to grow it didn't escape notice, and a whole bunch of negative stereotypes showed up almost immediately. Fried chicken, similar story. It first showed up in American in the first third of the nineteenth century, but took off after the war where it combined some Scottish frying techniques with West African seasoning styles.\nIt's okay to have a stereotypical food as part of a history month, because stereotypes are part of history, and we should examine them. It's critical to make it about the knowledge, though, and not \"oh lol yeah black people like watermelon, we'll do that.\"",
">\n\nEhh... yes and no.\nYou're right: this is a teachable moment. Stereotypes exist, and frankly we should be teaching kids about stereotypes with an eye for identifying harmful ones and not perpetuating them, while also identifying legitimate aspects of culture, and even how a thing can be both of those things depending on the context.\nBut serving stereotypes for lunch isn't the right context when you're cramming stereotypes in. Chicken and waffles? Sure. But maybe with a side of biscuits, or okra, or any number of other soul-food items that are more legitimate than stereotypical. Watermelon? Same thing, but maybe with a culturally relevant main that's not a raging stereotype.\nIt's the context that matters here. This is the school-lunch equivalent of Gabriel Iglesias' racist gift basket, except not done as a joke between good friends. It's not that any of the items are offensive in and of themselves, it's that when grouped together like that it's clearly an insensitive racial message, not an educational cultural one.",
">\n\nI'm gonna be fucking PISSED if someone serves me birthday cake for my next birthday. That shit is SO STEREOTYPICAL.",
">\n\nThat's really not a great analogy at all. \nFirst--serving birthday cake at a birthday party actually is a cultural thing. So, when living in that culture, it's not a negative stereotype, just a cultural trait.\nSecond--in some hypothetical future society where kids are being taught about US culture around the turn of the millennium, serving birthday cake at a mock birthday party would be actually teaching the kids about that culture through participation in what amounts to a cultural ritual. \nYou'd have to frame it as \"hurr durr, look at me, I'm a white guy, I'm eating birthday cake and and saltine crackers and a hot-dog aspic, now I'm going to put some mild hot sauce on a chicken wing and complain about it being too spicy\" for it to be offensive. Much like \"I'm eating what black people eat, look, fried chicken and watermelon.\"",
">\n\nI think it would be fine if the food was a part of a history lesson and taught kids that yes, these foods were stigmatized (despite being delicious). Ofcourse you couldn't even have that discussion in Texas or Florida.\nA little girl has a crush on my son,.and missed his birthday party. So she got her parents to throw my son a second birthday party. They asked me what my son's favorite food was, and besides bagel and lox, his favorite was fried chicken and watermelon (he has a summer birthday btw).\nFor years my sister refused to eat watermelon and friend chicken, around non black people because she felt like she was playing into the stereotype. So she was not happy that I told that family, what my son's favorite food was. \nWatermelon is a delicious healthy fruit, that's fun to eat, and I don't think we should let the next generation continue to be afraid of the stereotype. Especially because it's just fucking ridiculous. So they used to call watermelon's n-word apples. So fucking what.",
">\n\nWe've gotta just let comedians guide us through this shit. Dave Chapelle already did that a decade ago when he talked about fried and chicken and watermelon.\nIn the end it was like: \"Who the fuck doesn't like fried chicken and watermelon?\" And that's true, most people love it.\nI agree with you completely. We gotta get past this stuff soon, it's really fucking up these most recent generations who don't realize how much better things got over the past few decades regarding racism. I feel like a lot of it is being undone now because people are tired of having to defend themselves in every direction.",
">\n\nI really don't think its gotten any better, in fact its gotten worse, with law makers passing laws to attack segments of the population they want to oppress.",
">\n\nThe trajectory has been bumpy for sure. I certainly feel racism is much less an issue today than it was in the 60's for example. That said, I also feel racism is worse today than it was 10-15 years ago. It's subjective.",
">\n\nthere is so much less racism in society today, but many more things are considered racist by default depending on the ethnicity of the group in question. celebratory if done by the ethnicity that’s being celebrated or another minority, performative or racist if done by white. side effects of social media and resegregation efforts tbh",
">\n\nWay less of the racism that was fought against, but new racism has popped up in its place. Much of it also comes from the side most opposed to racism, which is hilariously ironic. Then there is the divide. Despite the fact there is less racism, many people actually think it is a bigger problem than ever.\nI don't know what to do about it, I just know I am sick of it and so are plenty of others. I'd love to see the pendulum arrive to its rightful place: judge people for who they are, not what they look like."
] |
>
Black farmers were making money off of chicken and watermelon. White ppl made them feel guilt for being good at things they could commercialized, black farmer could get into with not much capital.
|
[
"If I was a student I would just want to get rid of Aramark for the food. My grade school used them and it always tasted like shit.",
">\n\nWhen I first started working at my school the food was actually “decent” they made staff lunches and most teachers would get it almost every day. The food the kids got was pretty standard school food, but it was fine. Then Aramark came in. No more staff lunches and while we are certainly allowed to buy food from the student line, I don’t know a single adult that would. It’s pretty awful. \nHowever you know Aramark’s food sucks, but the contract the school signed is also super restrictive. Home economics teachers have a hard time ordering ingredients since all food purchases must go through Aramark. The school guarantees a certain number of days where lunch is served so all half days must have lunch even if the timing makes no sense. It even restricts how we handle emergency closures. Of course now the district doesn’t have to give any benefits to underpaid “lunch ladies” so it will never go away.",
">\n\nMy wife tried to be friendly with the trustees and she was effectively run out of the job for acting like they are human beings deserving of even the basics of human decency. This was in a prison though... Not sure about their school side 🤔\nYou cannot have a kind heart and work for Aramark, apparently.",
">\n\nSchool side and prison side are probably the same side.",
">\n\nWhen my campus had them the truck's next stop after us was San Quentin prison. \nThen we changed to a cheaper food supplier :(",
">\n\nThey reportedly were serving maggot and rat infested meals in Detroit prisons, as well as food taken out of the trash. You guys made the correct choice.",
">\n\nWe’re having homemade fried catfish, instant grits, collard greens, fried breaded okra and some black eyed peas for dinner and we always have enough for company!",
">\n\nNo self respecting southerner eats instant grits",
">\n\nSo how many minutes would it take to make your grits? Well perhaps the laws of physics cease to exist on your stove! Were these magic grits? I mean, did you buy them from the same guy who sold Jack his beanstalk beans?!",
">\n\nI love how any line from the movie I can hear in whoever's voice, with the exact ~~annunciation~~ enunciation and inflection.\nEdit - I no spell good.",
">\n\nThe two yoots",
">\n\nDid you say yoot?\nWhat is a yoot?",
">\n\nOh... excuse me your honor... two y o u u u t h h z z...",
">\n\nIs it possible the two defendant's...",
">\n\nPlease take this the right way. I mean this with a good heart. What would be a good menu to celebrate black heritage that wouldn't be offensive?",
">\n\nThe first thing I clicked on had fried chicken as an entree and watermelon salad as a side.",
">\n\nCause they're fucking delicious tbh. Like dude, they didn't just eat it because it was the only thing available, they ate it because it was decent good for cheap AND frying chicken is AMAZING.",
">\n\nOne of the best meals of my life was eaten in New Orleans at some lunch Buffett I found off the beaten path. I had about 7 pieces of fried chicken.",
">\n\nI literally just added stuff to make fried chicken to my instacart. Alas watermelons aren't available right now but holy shit I can't wait for a meal of fried chicken next week rofl. Prolly going cantaloupe",
">\n\nFor Cinco de Mayo, serve me tacos with a side of rice and beans. I’m Mexican American. I DO eat that and often",
">\n\nBack in the day. The mental institutions used to grow food and feed the institution. They would sell excess food to the prisons. The money received would help fund the hospital. The patients there had a job and responsibilities, giving them a sense of purpose.\nNow we have neither mental health care or home grown food. Instead we have Aramark.",
">\n\nThis sort of thing should be a teaching moment, though. Everyone eats food, so the history of food is really just... history, but through a lens that everyone can identify with.\nWatermelon was a staple crop among the freed slaves in the post-Civil War years due to being fast-growing, readily portable, and usable without infrastructure-intensive processing. That black people flocked to grow it didn't escape notice, and a whole bunch of negative stereotypes showed up almost immediately. Fried chicken, similar story. It first showed up in American in the first third of the nineteenth century, but took off after the war where it combined some Scottish frying techniques with West African seasoning styles.\nIt's okay to have a stereotypical food as part of a history month, because stereotypes are part of history, and we should examine them. It's critical to make it about the knowledge, though, and not \"oh lol yeah black people like watermelon, we'll do that.\"",
">\n\nEhh... yes and no.\nYou're right: this is a teachable moment. Stereotypes exist, and frankly we should be teaching kids about stereotypes with an eye for identifying harmful ones and not perpetuating them, while also identifying legitimate aspects of culture, and even how a thing can be both of those things depending on the context.\nBut serving stereotypes for lunch isn't the right context when you're cramming stereotypes in. Chicken and waffles? Sure. But maybe with a side of biscuits, or okra, or any number of other soul-food items that are more legitimate than stereotypical. Watermelon? Same thing, but maybe with a culturally relevant main that's not a raging stereotype.\nIt's the context that matters here. This is the school-lunch equivalent of Gabriel Iglesias' racist gift basket, except not done as a joke between good friends. It's not that any of the items are offensive in and of themselves, it's that when grouped together like that it's clearly an insensitive racial message, not an educational cultural one.",
">\n\nI'm gonna be fucking PISSED if someone serves me birthday cake for my next birthday. That shit is SO STEREOTYPICAL.",
">\n\nThat's really not a great analogy at all. \nFirst--serving birthday cake at a birthday party actually is a cultural thing. So, when living in that culture, it's not a negative stereotype, just a cultural trait.\nSecond--in some hypothetical future society where kids are being taught about US culture around the turn of the millennium, serving birthday cake at a mock birthday party would be actually teaching the kids about that culture through participation in what amounts to a cultural ritual. \nYou'd have to frame it as \"hurr durr, look at me, I'm a white guy, I'm eating birthday cake and and saltine crackers and a hot-dog aspic, now I'm going to put some mild hot sauce on a chicken wing and complain about it being too spicy\" for it to be offensive. Much like \"I'm eating what black people eat, look, fried chicken and watermelon.\"",
">\n\nI think it would be fine if the food was a part of a history lesson and taught kids that yes, these foods were stigmatized (despite being delicious). Ofcourse you couldn't even have that discussion in Texas or Florida.\nA little girl has a crush on my son,.and missed his birthday party. So she got her parents to throw my son a second birthday party. They asked me what my son's favorite food was, and besides bagel and lox, his favorite was fried chicken and watermelon (he has a summer birthday btw).\nFor years my sister refused to eat watermelon and friend chicken, around non black people because she felt like she was playing into the stereotype. So she was not happy that I told that family, what my son's favorite food was. \nWatermelon is a delicious healthy fruit, that's fun to eat, and I don't think we should let the next generation continue to be afraid of the stereotype. Especially because it's just fucking ridiculous. So they used to call watermelon's n-word apples. So fucking what.",
">\n\nWe've gotta just let comedians guide us through this shit. Dave Chapelle already did that a decade ago when he talked about fried and chicken and watermelon.\nIn the end it was like: \"Who the fuck doesn't like fried chicken and watermelon?\" And that's true, most people love it.\nI agree with you completely. We gotta get past this stuff soon, it's really fucking up these most recent generations who don't realize how much better things got over the past few decades regarding racism. I feel like a lot of it is being undone now because people are tired of having to defend themselves in every direction.",
">\n\nI really don't think its gotten any better, in fact its gotten worse, with law makers passing laws to attack segments of the population they want to oppress.",
">\n\nThe trajectory has been bumpy for sure. I certainly feel racism is much less an issue today than it was in the 60's for example. That said, I also feel racism is worse today than it was 10-15 years ago. It's subjective.",
">\n\nthere is so much less racism in society today, but many more things are considered racist by default depending on the ethnicity of the group in question. celebratory if done by the ethnicity that’s being celebrated or another minority, performative or racist if done by white. side effects of social media and resegregation efforts tbh",
">\n\nWay less of the racism that was fought against, but new racism has popped up in its place. Much of it also comes from the side most opposed to racism, which is hilariously ironic. Then there is the divide. Despite the fact there is less racism, many people actually think it is a bigger problem than ever.\nI don't know what to do about it, I just know I am sick of it and so are plenty of others. I'd love to see the pendulum arrive to its rightful place: judge people for who they are, not what they look like.",
">\n\nComments about this make me think the watermelon stereotype isn't as prevalent as it was when I was growing up. But TLDR for anyone unaware of it, it's a Reconstruction era racism that black people had no higher ambitions than a farm animal that wants to be fed its favourite snack like a good boy."
] |
>
Same with salt. For eons the stereotype was that black ppl put to much salt on everything and ate foods high in sodium and sugar and saturated fat. Now the new cliche is black ppl proclaiming that white people dont season their food or that white peoples cooking is bland and that healthy eating should be ridiculed. Black ppl created and innovated something of their own and then here comes mainstream society to try and twist it around into a criticism of the black community.
|
[
"If I was a student I would just want to get rid of Aramark for the food. My grade school used them and it always tasted like shit.",
">\n\nWhen I first started working at my school the food was actually “decent” they made staff lunches and most teachers would get it almost every day. The food the kids got was pretty standard school food, but it was fine. Then Aramark came in. No more staff lunches and while we are certainly allowed to buy food from the student line, I don’t know a single adult that would. It’s pretty awful. \nHowever you know Aramark’s food sucks, but the contract the school signed is also super restrictive. Home economics teachers have a hard time ordering ingredients since all food purchases must go through Aramark. The school guarantees a certain number of days where lunch is served so all half days must have lunch even if the timing makes no sense. It even restricts how we handle emergency closures. Of course now the district doesn’t have to give any benefits to underpaid “lunch ladies” so it will never go away.",
">\n\nMy wife tried to be friendly with the trustees and she was effectively run out of the job for acting like they are human beings deserving of even the basics of human decency. This was in a prison though... Not sure about their school side 🤔\nYou cannot have a kind heart and work for Aramark, apparently.",
">\n\nSchool side and prison side are probably the same side.",
">\n\nWhen my campus had them the truck's next stop after us was San Quentin prison. \nThen we changed to a cheaper food supplier :(",
">\n\nThey reportedly were serving maggot and rat infested meals in Detroit prisons, as well as food taken out of the trash. You guys made the correct choice.",
">\n\nWe’re having homemade fried catfish, instant grits, collard greens, fried breaded okra and some black eyed peas for dinner and we always have enough for company!",
">\n\nNo self respecting southerner eats instant grits",
">\n\nSo how many minutes would it take to make your grits? Well perhaps the laws of physics cease to exist on your stove! Were these magic grits? I mean, did you buy them from the same guy who sold Jack his beanstalk beans?!",
">\n\nI love how any line from the movie I can hear in whoever's voice, with the exact ~~annunciation~~ enunciation and inflection.\nEdit - I no spell good.",
">\n\nThe two yoots",
">\n\nDid you say yoot?\nWhat is a yoot?",
">\n\nOh... excuse me your honor... two y o u u u t h h z z...",
">\n\nIs it possible the two defendant's...",
">\n\nPlease take this the right way. I mean this with a good heart. What would be a good menu to celebrate black heritage that wouldn't be offensive?",
">\n\nThe first thing I clicked on had fried chicken as an entree and watermelon salad as a side.",
">\n\nCause they're fucking delicious tbh. Like dude, they didn't just eat it because it was the only thing available, they ate it because it was decent good for cheap AND frying chicken is AMAZING.",
">\n\nOne of the best meals of my life was eaten in New Orleans at some lunch Buffett I found off the beaten path. I had about 7 pieces of fried chicken.",
">\n\nI literally just added stuff to make fried chicken to my instacart. Alas watermelons aren't available right now but holy shit I can't wait for a meal of fried chicken next week rofl. Prolly going cantaloupe",
">\n\nFor Cinco de Mayo, serve me tacos with a side of rice and beans. I’m Mexican American. I DO eat that and often",
">\n\nBack in the day. The mental institutions used to grow food and feed the institution. They would sell excess food to the prisons. The money received would help fund the hospital. The patients there had a job and responsibilities, giving them a sense of purpose.\nNow we have neither mental health care or home grown food. Instead we have Aramark.",
">\n\nThis sort of thing should be a teaching moment, though. Everyone eats food, so the history of food is really just... history, but through a lens that everyone can identify with.\nWatermelon was a staple crop among the freed slaves in the post-Civil War years due to being fast-growing, readily portable, and usable without infrastructure-intensive processing. That black people flocked to grow it didn't escape notice, and a whole bunch of negative stereotypes showed up almost immediately. Fried chicken, similar story. It first showed up in American in the first third of the nineteenth century, but took off after the war where it combined some Scottish frying techniques with West African seasoning styles.\nIt's okay to have a stereotypical food as part of a history month, because stereotypes are part of history, and we should examine them. It's critical to make it about the knowledge, though, and not \"oh lol yeah black people like watermelon, we'll do that.\"",
">\n\nEhh... yes and no.\nYou're right: this is a teachable moment. Stereotypes exist, and frankly we should be teaching kids about stereotypes with an eye for identifying harmful ones and not perpetuating them, while also identifying legitimate aspects of culture, and even how a thing can be both of those things depending on the context.\nBut serving stereotypes for lunch isn't the right context when you're cramming stereotypes in. Chicken and waffles? Sure. But maybe with a side of biscuits, or okra, or any number of other soul-food items that are more legitimate than stereotypical. Watermelon? Same thing, but maybe with a culturally relevant main that's not a raging stereotype.\nIt's the context that matters here. This is the school-lunch equivalent of Gabriel Iglesias' racist gift basket, except not done as a joke between good friends. It's not that any of the items are offensive in and of themselves, it's that when grouped together like that it's clearly an insensitive racial message, not an educational cultural one.",
">\n\nI'm gonna be fucking PISSED if someone serves me birthday cake for my next birthday. That shit is SO STEREOTYPICAL.",
">\n\nThat's really not a great analogy at all. \nFirst--serving birthday cake at a birthday party actually is a cultural thing. So, when living in that culture, it's not a negative stereotype, just a cultural trait.\nSecond--in some hypothetical future society where kids are being taught about US culture around the turn of the millennium, serving birthday cake at a mock birthday party would be actually teaching the kids about that culture through participation in what amounts to a cultural ritual. \nYou'd have to frame it as \"hurr durr, look at me, I'm a white guy, I'm eating birthday cake and and saltine crackers and a hot-dog aspic, now I'm going to put some mild hot sauce on a chicken wing and complain about it being too spicy\" for it to be offensive. Much like \"I'm eating what black people eat, look, fried chicken and watermelon.\"",
">\n\nI think it would be fine if the food was a part of a history lesson and taught kids that yes, these foods were stigmatized (despite being delicious). Ofcourse you couldn't even have that discussion in Texas or Florida.\nA little girl has a crush on my son,.and missed his birthday party. So she got her parents to throw my son a second birthday party. They asked me what my son's favorite food was, and besides bagel and lox, his favorite was fried chicken and watermelon (he has a summer birthday btw).\nFor years my sister refused to eat watermelon and friend chicken, around non black people because she felt like she was playing into the stereotype. So she was not happy that I told that family, what my son's favorite food was. \nWatermelon is a delicious healthy fruit, that's fun to eat, and I don't think we should let the next generation continue to be afraid of the stereotype. Especially because it's just fucking ridiculous. So they used to call watermelon's n-word apples. So fucking what.",
">\n\nWe've gotta just let comedians guide us through this shit. Dave Chapelle already did that a decade ago when he talked about fried and chicken and watermelon.\nIn the end it was like: \"Who the fuck doesn't like fried chicken and watermelon?\" And that's true, most people love it.\nI agree with you completely. We gotta get past this stuff soon, it's really fucking up these most recent generations who don't realize how much better things got over the past few decades regarding racism. I feel like a lot of it is being undone now because people are tired of having to defend themselves in every direction.",
">\n\nI really don't think its gotten any better, in fact its gotten worse, with law makers passing laws to attack segments of the population they want to oppress.",
">\n\nThe trajectory has been bumpy for sure. I certainly feel racism is much less an issue today than it was in the 60's for example. That said, I also feel racism is worse today than it was 10-15 years ago. It's subjective.",
">\n\nthere is so much less racism in society today, but many more things are considered racist by default depending on the ethnicity of the group in question. celebratory if done by the ethnicity that’s being celebrated or another minority, performative or racist if done by white. side effects of social media and resegregation efforts tbh",
">\n\nWay less of the racism that was fought against, but new racism has popped up in its place. Much of it also comes from the side most opposed to racism, which is hilariously ironic. Then there is the divide. Despite the fact there is less racism, many people actually think it is a bigger problem than ever.\nI don't know what to do about it, I just know I am sick of it and so are plenty of others. I'd love to see the pendulum arrive to its rightful place: judge people for who they are, not what they look like.",
">\n\nComments about this make me think the watermelon stereotype isn't as prevalent as it was when I was growing up. But TLDR for anyone unaware of it, it's a Reconstruction era racism that black people had no higher ambitions than a farm animal that wants to be fed its favourite snack like a good boy.",
">\n\nBlack farmers were making money off of chicken and watermelon. White ppl made them feel guilt for being good at things they could commercialized, black farmer could get into with not much capital."
] |
>
pretty sure the Chinese or Romans harvested salt first
|
[
"If I was a student I would just want to get rid of Aramark for the food. My grade school used them and it always tasted like shit.",
">\n\nWhen I first started working at my school the food was actually “decent” they made staff lunches and most teachers would get it almost every day. The food the kids got was pretty standard school food, but it was fine. Then Aramark came in. No more staff lunches and while we are certainly allowed to buy food from the student line, I don’t know a single adult that would. It’s pretty awful. \nHowever you know Aramark’s food sucks, but the contract the school signed is also super restrictive. Home economics teachers have a hard time ordering ingredients since all food purchases must go through Aramark. The school guarantees a certain number of days where lunch is served so all half days must have lunch even if the timing makes no sense. It even restricts how we handle emergency closures. Of course now the district doesn’t have to give any benefits to underpaid “lunch ladies” so it will never go away.",
">\n\nMy wife tried to be friendly with the trustees and she was effectively run out of the job for acting like they are human beings deserving of even the basics of human decency. This was in a prison though... Not sure about their school side 🤔\nYou cannot have a kind heart and work for Aramark, apparently.",
">\n\nSchool side and prison side are probably the same side.",
">\n\nWhen my campus had them the truck's next stop after us was San Quentin prison. \nThen we changed to a cheaper food supplier :(",
">\n\nThey reportedly were serving maggot and rat infested meals in Detroit prisons, as well as food taken out of the trash. You guys made the correct choice.",
">\n\nWe’re having homemade fried catfish, instant grits, collard greens, fried breaded okra and some black eyed peas for dinner and we always have enough for company!",
">\n\nNo self respecting southerner eats instant grits",
">\n\nSo how many minutes would it take to make your grits? Well perhaps the laws of physics cease to exist on your stove! Were these magic grits? I mean, did you buy them from the same guy who sold Jack his beanstalk beans?!",
">\n\nI love how any line from the movie I can hear in whoever's voice, with the exact ~~annunciation~~ enunciation and inflection.\nEdit - I no spell good.",
">\n\nThe two yoots",
">\n\nDid you say yoot?\nWhat is a yoot?",
">\n\nOh... excuse me your honor... two y o u u u t h h z z...",
">\n\nIs it possible the two defendant's...",
">\n\nPlease take this the right way. I mean this with a good heart. What would be a good menu to celebrate black heritage that wouldn't be offensive?",
">\n\nThe first thing I clicked on had fried chicken as an entree and watermelon salad as a side.",
">\n\nCause they're fucking delicious tbh. Like dude, they didn't just eat it because it was the only thing available, they ate it because it was decent good for cheap AND frying chicken is AMAZING.",
">\n\nOne of the best meals of my life was eaten in New Orleans at some lunch Buffett I found off the beaten path. I had about 7 pieces of fried chicken.",
">\n\nI literally just added stuff to make fried chicken to my instacart. Alas watermelons aren't available right now but holy shit I can't wait for a meal of fried chicken next week rofl. Prolly going cantaloupe",
">\n\nFor Cinco de Mayo, serve me tacos with a side of rice and beans. I’m Mexican American. I DO eat that and often",
">\n\nBack in the day. The mental institutions used to grow food and feed the institution. They would sell excess food to the prisons. The money received would help fund the hospital. The patients there had a job and responsibilities, giving them a sense of purpose.\nNow we have neither mental health care or home grown food. Instead we have Aramark.",
">\n\nThis sort of thing should be a teaching moment, though. Everyone eats food, so the history of food is really just... history, but through a lens that everyone can identify with.\nWatermelon was a staple crop among the freed slaves in the post-Civil War years due to being fast-growing, readily portable, and usable without infrastructure-intensive processing. That black people flocked to grow it didn't escape notice, and a whole bunch of negative stereotypes showed up almost immediately. Fried chicken, similar story. It first showed up in American in the first third of the nineteenth century, but took off after the war where it combined some Scottish frying techniques with West African seasoning styles.\nIt's okay to have a stereotypical food as part of a history month, because stereotypes are part of history, and we should examine them. It's critical to make it about the knowledge, though, and not \"oh lol yeah black people like watermelon, we'll do that.\"",
">\n\nEhh... yes and no.\nYou're right: this is a teachable moment. Stereotypes exist, and frankly we should be teaching kids about stereotypes with an eye for identifying harmful ones and not perpetuating them, while also identifying legitimate aspects of culture, and even how a thing can be both of those things depending on the context.\nBut serving stereotypes for lunch isn't the right context when you're cramming stereotypes in. Chicken and waffles? Sure. But maybe with a side of biscuits, or okra, or any number of other soul-food items that are more legitimate than stereotypical. Watermelon? Same thing, but maybe with a culturally relevant main that's not a raging stereotype.\nIt's the context that matters here. This is the school-lunch equivalent of Gabriel Iglesias' racist gift basket, except not done as a joke between good friends. It's not that any of the items are offensive in and of themselves, it's that when grouped together like that it's clearly an insensitive racial message, not an educational cultural one.",
">\n\nI'm gonna be fucking PISSED if someone serves me birthday cake for my next birthday. That shit is SO STEREOTYPICAL.",
">\n\nThat's really not a great analogy at all. \nFirst--serving birthday cake at a birthday party actually is a cultural thing. So, when living in that culture, it's not a negative stereotype, just a cultural trait.\nSecond--in some hypothetical future society where kids are being taught about US culture around the turn of the millennium, serving birthday cake at a mock birthday party would be actually teaching the kids about that culture through participation in what amounts to a cultural ritual. \nYou'd have to frame it as \"hurr durr, look at me, I'm a white guy, I'm eating birthday cake and and saltine crackers and a hot-dog aspic, now I'm going to put some mild hot sauce on a chicken wing and complain about it being too spicy\" for it to be offensive. Much like \"I'm eating what black people eat, look, fried chicken and watermelon.\"",
">\n\nI think it would be fine if the food was a part of a history lesson and taught kids that yes, these foods were stigmatized (despite being delicious). Ofcourse you couldn't even have that discussion in Texas or Florida.\nA little girl has a crush on my son,.and missed his birthday party. So she got her parents to throw my son a second birthday party. They asked me what my son's favorite food was, and besides bagel and lox, his favorite was fried chicken and watermelon (he has a summer birthday btw).\nFor years my sister refused to eat watermelon and friend chicken, around non black people because she felt like she was playing into the stereotype. So she was not happy that I told that family, what my son's favorite food was. \nWatermelon is a delicious healthy fruit, that's fun to eat, and I don't think we should let the next generation continue to be afraid of the stereotype. Especially because it's just fucking ridiculous. So they used to call watermelon's n-word apples. So fucking what.",
">\n\nWe've gotta just let comedians guide us through this shit. Dave Chapelle already did that a decade ago when he talked about fried and chicken and watermelon.\nIn the end it was like: \"Who the fuck doesn't like fried chicken and watermelon?\" And that's true, most people love it.\nI agree with you completely. We gotta get past this stuff soon, it's really fucking up these most recent generations who don't realize how much better things got over the past few decades regarding racism. I feel like a lot of it is being undone now because people are tired of having to defend themselves in every direction.",
">\n\nI really don't think its gotten any better, in fact its gotten worse, with law makers passing laws to attack segments of the population they want to oppress.",
">\n\nThe trajectory has been bumpy for sure. I certainly feel racism is much less an issue today than it was in the 60's for example. That said, I also feel racism is worse today than it was 10-15 years ago. It's subjective.",
">\n\nthere is so much less racism in society today, but many more things are considered racist by default depending on the ethnicity of the group in question. celebratory if done by the ethnicity that’s being celebrated or another minority, performative or racist if done by white. side effects of social media and resegregation efforts tbh",
">\n\nWay less of the racism that was fought against, but new racism has popped up in its place. Much of it also comes from the side most opposed to racism, which is hilariously ironic. Then there is the divide. Despite the fact there is less racism, many people actually think it is a bigger problem than ever.\nI don't know what to do about it, I just know I am sick of it and so are plenty of others. I'd love to see the pendulum arrive to its rightful place: judge people for who they are, not what they look like.",
">\n\nComments about this make me think the watermelon stereotype isn't as prevalent as it was when I was growing up. But TLDR for anyone unaware of it, it's a Reconstruction era racism that black people had no higher ambitions than a farm animal that wants to be fed its favourite snack like a good boy.",
">\n\nBlack farmers were making money off of chicken and watermelon. White ppl made them feel guilt for being good at things they could commercialized, black farmer could get into with not much capital.",
">\n\nSame with salt. For eons the stereotype was that black ppl put to much salt on everything and ate foods high in sodium and sugar and saturated fat. Now the new cliche is black ppl proclaiming that white people dont season their food or that white peoples cooking is bland and that healthy eating should be ridiculed. Black ppl created and innovated something of their own and then here comes mainstream society to try and twist it around into a criticism of the black community."
] |
>
Good tasting food in the US is the result of Black America’s influence on cooking post reconstruction.
|
[
"If I was a student I would just want to get rid of Aramark for the food. My grade school used them and it always tasted like shit.",
">\n\nWhen I first started working at my school the food was actually “decent” they made staff lunches and most teachers would get it almost every day. The food the kids got was pretty standard school food, but it was fine. Then Aramark came in. No more staff lunches and while we are certainly allowed to buy food from the student line, I don’t know a single adult that would. It’s pretty awful. \nHowever you know Aramark’s food sucks, but the contract the school signed is also super restrictive. Home economics teachers have a hard time ordering ingredients since all food purchases must go through Aramark. The school guarantees a certain number of days where lunch is served so all half days must have lunch even if the timing makes no sense. It even restricts how we handle emergency closures. Of course now the district doesn’t have to give any benefits to underpaid “lunch ladies” so it will never go away.",
">\n\nMy wife tried to be friendly with the trustees and she was effectively run out of the job for acting like they are human beings deserving of even the basics of human decency. This was in a prison though... Not sure about their school side 🤔\nYou cannot have a kind heart and work for Aramark, apparently.",
">\n\nSchool side and prison side are probably the same side.",
">\n\nWhen my campus had them the truck's next stop after us was San Quentin prison. \nThen we changed to a cheaper food supplier :(",
">\n\nThey reportedly were serving maggot and rat infested meals in Detroit prisons, as well as food taken out of the trash. You guys made the correct choice.",
">\n\nWe’re having homemade fried catfish, instant grits, collard greens, fried breaded okra and some black eyed peas for dinner and we always have enough for company!",
">\n\nNo self respecting southerner eats instant grits",
">\n\nSo how many minutes would it take to make your grits? Well perhaps the laws of physics cease to exist on your stove! Were these magic grits? I mean, did you buy them from the same guy who sold Jack his beanstalk beans?!",
">\n\nI love how any line from the movie I can hear in whoever's voice, with the exact ~~annunciation~~ enunciation and inflection.\nEdit - I no spell good.",
">\n\nThe two yoots",
">\n\nDid you say yoot?\nWhat is a yoot?",
">\n\nOh... excuse me your honor... two y o u u u t h h z z...",
">\n\nIs it possible the two defendant's...",
">\n\nPlease take this the right way. I mean this with a good heart. What would be a good menu to celebrate black heritage that wouldn't be offensive?",
">\n\nThe first thing I clicked on had fried chicken as an entree and watermelon salad as a side.",
">\n\nCause they're fucking delicious tbh. Like dude, they didn't just eat it because it was the only thing available, they ate it because it was decent good for cheap AND frying chicken is AMAZING.",
">\n\nOne of the best meals of my life was eaten in New Orleans at some lunch Buffett I found off the beaten path. I had about 7 pieces of fried chicken.",
">\n\nI literally just added stuff to make fried chicken to my instacart. Alas watermelons aren't available right now but holy shit I can't wait for a meal of fried chicken next week rofl. Prolly going cantaloupe",
">\n\nFor Cinco de Mayo, serve me tacos with a side of rice and beans. I’m Mexican American. I DO eat that and often",
">\n\nBack in the day. The mental institutions used to grow food and feed the institution. They would sell excess food to the prisons. The money received would help fund the hospital. The patients there had a job and responsibilities, giving them a sense of purpose.\nNow we have neither mental health care or home grown food. Instead we have Aramark.",
">\n\nThis sort of thing should be a teaching moment, though. Everyone eats food, so the history of food is really just... history, but through a lens that everyone can identify with.\nWatermelon was a staple crop among the freed slaves in the post-Civil War years due to being fast-growing, readily portable, and usable without infrastructure-intensive processing. That black people flocked to grow it didn't escape notice, and a whole bunch of negative stereotypes showed up almost immediately. Fried chicken, similar story. It first showed up in American in the first third of the nineteenth century, but took off after the war where it combined some Scottish frying techniques with West African seasoning styles.\nIt's okay to have a stereotypical food as part of a history month, because stereotypes are part of history, and we should examine them. It's critical to make it about the knowledge, though, and not \"oh lol yeah black people like watermelon, we'll do that.\"",
">\n\nEhh... yes and no.\nYou're right: this is a teachable moment. Stereotypes exist, and frankly we should be teaching kids about stereotypes with an eye for identifying harmful ones and not perpetuating them, while also identifying legitimate aspects of culture, and even how a thing can be both of those things depending on the context.\nBut serving stereotypes for lunch isn't the right context when you're cramming stereotypes in. Chicken and waffles? Sure. But maybe with a side of biscuits, or okra, or any number of other soul-food items that are more legitimate than stereotypical. Watermelon? Same thing, but maybe with a culturally relevant main that's not a raging stereotype.\nIt's the context that matters here. This is the school-lunch equivalent of Gabriel Iglesias' racist gift basket, except not done as a joke between good friends. It's not that any of the items are offensive in and of themselves, it's that when grouped together like that it's clearly an insensitive racial message, not an educational cultural one.",
">\n\nI'm gonna be fucking PISSED if someone serves me birthday cake for my next birthday. That shit is SO STEREOTYPICAL.",
">\n\nThat's really not a great analogy at all. \nFirst--serving birthday cake at a birthday party actually is a cultural thing. So, when living in that culture, it's not a negative stereotype, just a cultural trait.\nSecond--in some hypothetical future society where kids are being taught about US culture around the turn of the millennium, serving birthday cake at a mock birthday party would be actually teaching the kids about that culture through participation in what amounts to a cultural ritual. \nYou'd have to frame it as \"hurr durr, look at me, I'm a white guy, I'm eating birthday cake and and saltine crackers and a hot-dog aspic, now I'm going to put some mild hot sauce on a chicken wing and complain about it being too spicy\" for it to be offensive. Much like \"I'm eating what black people eat, look, fried chicken and watermelon.\"",
">\n\nI think it would be fine if the food was a part of a history lesson and taught kids that yes, these foods were stigmatized (despite being delicious). Ofcourse you couldn't even have that discussion in Texas or Florida.\nA little girl has a crush on my son,.and missed his birthday party. So she got her parents to throw my son a second birthday party. They asked me what my son's favorite food was, and besides bagel and lox, his favorite was fried chicken and watermelon (he has a summer birthday btw).\nFor years my sister refused to eat watermelon and friend chicken, around non black people because she felt like she was playing into the stereotype. So she was not happy that I told that family, what my son's favorite food was. \nWatermelon is a delicious healthy fruit, that's fun to eat, and I don't think we should let the next generation continue to be afraid of the stereotype. Especially because it's just fucking ridiculous. So they used to call watermelon's n-word apples. So fucking what.",
">\n\nWe've gotta just let comedians guide us through this shit. Dave Chapelle already did that a decade ago when he talked about fried and chicken and watermelon.\nIn the end it was like: \"Who the fuck doesn't like fried chicken and watermelon?\" And that's true, most people love it.\nI agree with you completely. We gotta get past this stuff soon, it's really fucking up these most recent generations who don't realize how much better things got over the past few decades regarding racism. I feel like a lot of it is being undone now because people are tired of having to defend themselves in every direction.",
">\n\nI really don't think its gotten any better, in fact its gotten worse, with law makers passing laws to attack segments of the population they want to oppress.",
">\n\nThe trajectory has been bumpy for sure. I certainly feel racism is much less an issue today than it was in the 60's for example. That said, I also feel racism is worse today than it was 10-15 years ago. It's subjective.",
">\n\nthere is so much less racism in society today, but many more things are considered racist by default depending on the ethnicity of the group in question. celebratory if done by the ethnicity that’s being celebrated or another minority, performative or racist if done by white. side effects of social media and resegregation efforts tbh",
">\n\nWay less of the racism that was fought against, but new racism has popped up in its place. Much of it also comes from the side most opposed to racism, which is hilariously ironic. Then there is the divide. Despite the fact there is less racism, many people actually think it is a bigger problem than ever.\nI don't know what to do about it, I just know I am sick of it and so are plenty of others. I'd love to see the pendulum arrive to its rightful place: judge people for who they are, not what they look like.",
">\n\nComments about this make me think the watermelon stereotype isn't as prevalent as it was when I was growing up. But TLDR for anyone unaware of it, it's a Reconstruction era racism that black people had no higher ambitions than a farm animal that wants to be fed its favourite snack like a good boy.",
">\n\nBlack farmers were making money off of chicken and watermelon. White ppl made them feel guilt for being good at things they could commercialized, black farmer could get into with not much capital.",
">\n\nSame with salt. For eons the stereotype was that black ppl put to much salt on everything and ate foods high in sodium and sugar and saturated fat. Now the new cliche is black ppl proclaiming that white people dont season their food or that white peoples cooking is bland and that healthy eating should be ridiculed. Black ppl created and innovated something of their own and then here comes mainstream society to try and twist it around into a criticism of the black community.",
">\n\npretty sure the Chinese or Romans harvested salt first"
] |
>
Im not arguing that black Americans didn't improve food (they did), just the literal origin of salt aha
|
[
"If I was a student I would just want to get rid of Aramark for the food. My grade school used them and it always tasted like shit.",
">\n\nWhen I first started working at my school the food was actually “decent” they made staff lunches and most teachers would get it almost every day. The food the kids got was pretty standard school food, but it was fine. Then Aramark came in. No more staff lunches and while we are certainly allowed to buy food from the student line, I don’t know a single adult that would. It’s pretty awful. \nHowever you know Aramark’s food sucks, but the contract the school signed is also super restrictive. Home economics teachers have a hard time ordering ingredients since all food purchases must go through Aramark. The school guarantees a certain number of days where lunch is served so all half days must have lunch even if the timing makes no sense. It even restricts how we handle emergency closures. Of course now the district doesn’t have to give any benefits to underpaid “lunch ladies” so it will never go away.",
">\n\nMy wife tried to be friendly with the trustees and she was effectively run out of the job for acting like they are human beings deserving of even the basics of human decency. This was in a prison though... Not sure about their school side 🤔\nYou cannot have a kind heart and work for Aramark, apparently.",
">\n\nSchool side and prison side are probably the same side.",
">\n\nWhen my campus had them the truck's next stop after us was San Quentin prison. \nThen we changed to a cheaper food supplier :(",
">\n\nThey reportedly were serving maggot and rat infested meals in Detroit prisons, as well as food taken out of the trash. You guys made the correct choice.",
">\n\nWe’re having homemade fried catfish, instant grits, collard greens, fried breaded okra and some black eyed peas for dinner and we always have enough for company!",
">\n\nNo self respecting southerner eats instant grits",
">\n\nSo how many minutes would it take to make your grits? Well perhaps the laws of physics cease to exist on your stove! Were these magic grits? I mean, did you buy them from the same guy who sold Jack his beanstalk beans?!",
">\n\nI love how any line from the movie I can hear in whoever's voice, with the exact ~~annunciation~~ enunciation and inflection.\nEdit - I no spell good.",
">\n\nThe two yoots",
">\n\nDid you say yoot?\nWhat is a yoot?",
">\n\nOh... excuse me your honor... two y o u u u t h h z z...",
">\n\nIs it possible the two defendant's...",
">\n\nPlease take this the right way. I mean this with a good heart. What would be a good menu to celebrate black heritage that wouldn't be offensive?",
">\n\nThe first thing I clicked on had fried chicken as an entree and watermelon salad as a side.",
">\n\nCause they're fucking delicious tbh. Like dude, they didn't just eat it because it was the only thing available, they ate it because it was decent good for cheap AND frying chicken is AMAZING.",
">\n\nOne of the best meals of my life was eaten in New Orleans at some lunch Buffett I found off the beaten path. I had about 7 pieces of fried chicken.",
">\n\nI literally just added stuff to make fried chicken to my instacart. Alas watermelons aren't available right now but holy shit I can't wait for a meal of fried chicken next week rofl. Prolly going cantaloupe",
">\n\nFor Cinco de Mayo, serve me tacos with a side of rice and beans. I’m Mexican American. I DO eat that and often",
">\n\nBack in the day. The mental institutions used to grow food and feed the institution. They would sell excess food to the prisons. The money received would help fund the hospital. The patients there had a job and responsibilities, giving them a sense of purpose.\nNow we have neither mental health care or home grown food. Instead we have Aramark.",
">\n\nThis sort of thing should be a teaching moment, though. Everyone eats food, so the history of food is really just... history, but through a lens that everyone can identify with.\nWatermelon was a staple crop among the freed slaves in the post-Civil War years due to being fast-growing, readily portable, and usable without infrastructure-intensive processing. That black people flocked to grow it didn't escape notice, and a whole bunch of negative stereotypes showed up almost immediately. Fried chicken, similar story. It first showed up in American in the first third of the nineteenth century, but took off after the war where it combined some Scottish frying techniques with West African seasoning styles.\nIt's okay to have a stereotypical food as part of a history month, because stereotypes are part of history, and we should examine them. It's critical to make it about the knowledge, though, and not \"oh lol yeah black people like watermelon, we'll do that.\"",
">\n\nEhh... yes and no.\nYou're right: this is a teachable moment. Stereotypes exist, and frankly we should be teaching kids about stereotypes with an eye for identifying harmful ones and not perpetuating them, while also identifying legitimate aspects of culture, and even how a thing can be both of those things depending on the context.\nBut serving stereotypes for lunch isn't the right context when you're cramming stereotypes in. Chicken and waffles? Sure. But maybe with a side of biscuits, or okra, or any number of other soul-food items that are more legitimate than stereotypical. Watermelon? Same thing, but maybe with a culturally relevant main that's not a raging stereotype.\nIt's the context that matters here. This is the school-lunch equivalent of Gabriel Iglesias' racist gift basket, except not done as a joke between good friends. It's not that any of the items are offensive in and of themselves, it's that when grouped together like that it's clearly an insensitive racial message, not an educational cultural one.",
">\n\nI'm gonna be fucking PISSED if someone serves me birthday cake for my next birthday. That shit is SO STEREOTYPICAL.",
">\n\nThat's really not a great analogy at all. \nFirst--serving birthday cake at a birthday party actually is a cultural thing. So, when living in that culture, it's not a negative stereotype, just a cultural trait.\nSecond--in some hypothetical future society where kids are being taught about US culture around the turn of the millennium, serving birthday cake at a mock birthday party would be actually teaching the kids about that culture through participation in what amounts to a cultural ritual. \nYou'd have to frame it as \"hurr durr, look at me, I'm a white guy, I'm eating birthday cake and and saltine crackers and a hot-dog aspic, now I'm going to put some mild hot sauce on a chicken wing and complain about it being too spicy\" for it to be offensive. Much like \"I'm eating what black people eat, look, fried chicken and watermelon.\"",
">\n\nI think it would be fine if the food was a part of a history lesson and taught kids that yes, these foods were stigmatized (despite being delicious). Ofcourse you couldn't even have that discussion in Texas or Florida.\nA little girl has a crush on my son,.and missed his birthday party. So she got her parents to throw my son a second birthday party. They asked me what my son's favorite food was, and besides bagel and lox, his favorite was fried chicken and watermelon (he has a summer birthday btw).\nFor years my sister refused to eat watermelon and friend chicken, around non black people because she felt like she was playing into the stereotype. So she was not happy that I told that family, what my son's favorite food was. \nWatermelon is a delicious healthy fruit, that's fun to eat, and I don't think we should let the next generation continue to be afraid of the stereotype. Especially because it's just fucking ridiculous. So they used to call watermelon's n-word apples. So fucking what.",
">\n\nWe've gotta just let comedians guide us through this shit. Dave Chapelle already did that a decade ago when he talked about fried and chicken and watermelon.\nIn the end it was like: \"Who the fuck doesn't like fried chicken and watermelon?\" And that's true, most people love it.\nI agree with you completely. We gotta get past this stuff soon, it's really fucking up these most recent generations who don't realize how much better things got over the past few decades regarding racism. I feel like a lot of it is being undone now because people are tired of having to defend themselves in every direction.",
">\n\nI really don't think its gotten any better, in fact its gotten worse, with law makers passing laws to attack segments of the population they want to oppress.",
">\n\nThe trajectory has been bumpy for sure. I certainly feel racism is much less an issue today than it was in the 60's for example. That said, I also feel racism is worse today than it was 10-15 years ago. It's subjective.",
">\n\nthere is so much less racism in society today, but many more things are considered racist by default depending on the ethnicity of the group in question. celebratory if done by the ethnicity that’s being celebrated or another minority, performative or racist if done by white. side effects of social media and resegregation efforts tbh",
">\n\nWay less of the racism that was fought against, but new racism has popped up in its place. Much of it also comes from the side most opposed to racism, which is hilariously ironic. Then there is the divide. Despite the fact there is less racism, many people actually think it is a bigger problem than ever.\nI don't know what to do about it, I just know I am sick of it and so are plenty of others. I'd love to see the pendulum arrive to its rightful place: judge people for who they are, not what they look like.",
">\n\nComments about this make me think the watermelon stereotype isn't as prevalent as it was when I was growing up. But TLDR for anyone unaware of it, it's a Reconstruction era racism that black people had no higher ambitions than a farm animal that wants to be fed its favourite snack like a good boy.",
">\n\nBlack farmers were making money off of chicken and watermelon. White ppl made them feel guilt for being good at things they could commercialized, black farmer could get into with not much capital.",
">\n\nSame with salt. For eons the stereotype was that black ppl put to much salt on everything and ate foods high in sodium and sugar and saturated fat. Now the new cliche is black ppl proclaiming that white people dont season their food or that white peoples cooking is bland and that healthy eating should be ridiculed. Black ppl created and innovated something of their own and then here comes mainstream society to try and twist it around into a criticism of the black community.",
">\n\npretty sure the Chinese or Romans harvested salt first",
">\n\nGood tasting food in the US is the result of Black America’s influence on cooking post reconstruction."
] |
>
Aramark is a reprehensible company. They do not care.
|
[
"If I was a student I would just want to get rid of Aramark for the food. My grade school used them and it always tasted like shit.",
">\n\nWhen I first started working at my school the food was actually “decent” they made staff lunches and most teachers would get it almost every day. The food the kids got was pretty standard school food, but it was fine. Then Aramark came in. No more staff lunches and while we are certainly allowed to buy food from the student line, I don’t know a single adult that would. It’s pretty awful. \nHowever you know Aramark’s food sucks, but the contract the school signed is also super restrictive. Home economics teachers have a hard time ordering ingredients since all food purchases must go through Aramark. The school guarantees a certain number of days where lunch is served so all half days must have lunch even if the timing makes no sense. It even restricts how we handle emergency closures. Of course now the district doesn’t have to give any benefits to underpaid “lunch ladies” so it will never go away.",
">\n\nMy wife tried to be friendly with the trustees and she was effectively run out of the job for acting like they are human beings deserving of even the basics of human decency. This was in a prison though... Not sure about their school side 🤔\nYou cannot have a kind heart and work for Aramark, apparently.",
">\n\nSchool side and prison side are probably the same side.",
">\n\nWhen my campus had them the truck's next stop after us was San Quentin prison. \nThen we changed to a cheaper food supplier :(",
">\n\nThey reportedly were serving maggot and rat infested meals in Detroit prisons, as well as food taken out of the trash. You guys made the correct choice.",
">\n\nWe’re having homemade fried catfish, instant grits, collard greens, fried breaded okra and some black eyed peas for dinner and we always have enough for company!",
">\n\nNo self respecting southerner eats instant grits",
">\n\nSo how many minutes would it take to make your grits? Well perhaps the laws of physics cease to exist on your stove! Were these magic grits? I mean, did you buy them from the same guy who sold Jack his beanstalk beans?!",
">\n\nI love how any line from the movie I can hear in whoever's voice, with the exact ~~annunciation~~ enunciation and inflection.\nEdit - I no spell good.",
">\n\nThe two yoots",
">\n\nDid you say yoot?\nWhat is a yoot?",
">\n\nOh... excuse me your honor... two y o u u u t h h z z...",
">\n\nIs it possible the two defendant's...",
">\n\nPlease take this the right way. I mean this with a good heart. What would be a good menu to celebrate black heritage that wouldn't be offensive?",
">\n\nThe first thing I clicked on had fried chicken as an entree and watermelon salad as a side.",
">\n\nCause they're fucking delicious tbh. Like dude, they didn't just eat it because it was the only thing available, they ate it because it was decent good for cheap AND frying chicken is AMAZING.",
">\n\nOne of the best meals of my life was eaten in New Orleans at some lunch Buffett I found off the beaten path. I had about 7 pieces of fried chicken.",
">\n\nI literally just added stuff to make fried chicken to my instacart. Alas watermelons aren't available right now but holy shit I can't wait for a meal of fried chicken next week rofl. Prolly going cantaloupe",
">\n\nFor Cinco de Mayo, serve me tacos with a side of rice and beans. I’m Mexican American. I DO eat that and often",
">\n\nBack in the day. The mental institutions used to grow food and feed the institution. They would sell excess food to the prisons. The money received would help fund the hospital. The patients there had a job and responsibilities, giving them a sense of purpose.\nNow we have neither mental health care or home grown food. Instead we have Aramark.",
">\n\nThis sort of thing should be a teaching moment, though. Everyone eats food, so the history of food is really just... history, but through a lens that everyone can identify with.\nWatermelon was a staple crop among the freed slaves in the post-Civil War years due to being fast-growing, readily portable, and usable without infrastructure-intensive processing. That black people flocked to grow it didn't escape notice, and a whole bunch of negative stereotypes showed up almost immediately. Fried chicken, similar story. It first showed up in American in the first third of the nineteenth century, but took off after the war where it combined some Scottish frying techniques with West African seasoning styles.\nIt's okay to have a stereotypical food as part of a history month, because stereotypes are part of history, and we should examine them. It's critical to make it about the knowledge, though, and not \"oh lol yeah black people like watermelon, we'll do that.\"",
">\n\nEhh... yes and no.\nYou're right: this is a teachable moment. Stereotypes exist, and frankly we should be teaching kids about stereotypes with an eye for identifying harmful ones and not perpetuating them, while also identifying legitimate aspects of culture, and even how a thing can be both of those things depending on the context.\nBut serving stereotypes for lunch isn't the right context when you're cramming stereotypes in. Chicken and waffles? Sure. But maybe with a side of biscuits, or okra, or any number of other soul-food items that are more legitimate than stereotypical. Watermelon? Same thing, but maybe with a culturally relevant main that's not a raging stereotype.\nIt's the context that matters here. This is the school-lunch equivalent of Gabriel Iglesias' racist gift basket, except not done as a joke between good friends. It's not that any of the items are offensive in and of themselves, it's that when grouped together like that it's clearly an insensitive racial message, not an educational cultural one.",
">\n\nI'm gonna be fucking PISSED if someone serves me birthday cake for my next birthday. That shit is SO STEREOTYPICAL.",
">\n\nThat's really not a great analogy at all. \nFirst--serving birthday cake at a birthday party actually is a cultural thing. So, when living in that culture, it's not a negative stereotype, just a cultural trait.\nSecond--in some hypothetical future society where kids are being taught about US culture around the turn of the millennium, serving birthday cake at a mock birthday party would be actually teaching the kids about that culture through participation in what amounts to a cultural ritual. \nYou'd have to frame it as \"hurr durr, look at me, I'm a white guy, I'm eating birthday cake and and saltine crackers and a hot-dog aspic, now I'm going to put some mild hot sauce on a chicken wing and complain about it being too spicy\" for it to be offensive. Much like \"I'm eating what black people eat, look, fried chicken and watermelon.\"",
">\n\nI think it would be fine if the food was a part of a history lesson and taught kids that yes, these foods were stigmatized (despite being delicious). Ofcourse you couldn't even have that discussion in Texas or Florida.\nA little girl has a crush on my son,.and missed his birthday party. So she got her parents to throw my son a second birthday party. They asked me what my son's favorite food was, and besides bagel and lox, his favorite was fried chicken and watermelon (he has a summer birthday btw).\nFor years my sister refused to eat watermelon and friend chicken, around non black people because she felt like she was playing into the stereotype. So she was not happy that I told that family, what my son's favorite food was. \nWatermelon is a delicious healthy fruit, that's fun to eat, and I don't think we should let the next generation continue to be afraid of the stereotype. Especially because it's just fucking ridiculous. So they used to call watermelon's n-word apples. So fucking what.",
">\n\nWe've gotta just let comedians guide us through this shit. Dave Chapelle already did that a decade ago when he talked about fried and chicken and watermelon.\nIn the end it was like: \"Who the fuck doesn't like fried chicken and watermelon?\" And that's true, most people love it.\nI agree with you completely. We gotta get past this stuff soon, it's really fucking up these most recent generations who don't realize how much better things got over the past few decades regarding racism. I feel like a lot of it is being undone now because people are tired of having to defend themselves in every direction.",
">\n\nI really don't think its gotten any better, in fact its gotten worse, with law makers passing laws to attack segments of the population they want to oppress.",
">\n\nThe trajectory has been bumpy for sure. I certainly feel racism is much less an issue today than it was in the 60's for example. That said, I also feel racism is worse today than it was 10-15 years ago. It's subjective.",
">\n\nthere is so much less racism in society today, but many more things are considered racist by default depending on the ethnicity of the group in question. celebratory if done by the ethnicity that’s being celebrated or another minority, performative or racist if done by white. side effects of social media and resegregation efforts tbh",
">\n\nWay less of the racism that was fought against, but new racism has popped up in its place. Much of it also comes from the side most opposed to racism, which is hilariously ironic. Then there is the divide. Despite the fact there is less racism, many people actually think it is a bigger problem than ever.\nI don't know what to do about it, I just know I am sick of it and so are plenty of others. I'd love to see the pendulum arrive to its rightful place: judge people for who they are, not what they look like.",
">\n\nComments about this make me think the watermelon stereotype isn't as prevalent as it was when I was growing up. But TLDR for anyone unaware of it, it's a Reconstruction era racism that black people had no higher ambitions than a farm animal that wants to be fed its favourite snack like a good boy.",
">\n\nBlack farmers were making money off of chicken and watermelon. White ppl made them feel guilt for being good at things they could commercialized, black farmer could get into with not much capital.",
">\n\nSame with salt. For eons the stereotype was that black ppl put to much salt on everything and ate foods high in sodium and sugar and saturated fat. Now the new cliche is black ppl proclaiming that white people dont season their food or that white peoples cooking is bland and that healthy eating should be ridiculed. Black ppl created and innovated something of their own and then here comes mainstream society to try and twist it around into a criticism of the black community.",
">\n\npretty sure the Chinese or Romans harvested salt first",
">\n\nGood tasting food in the US is the result of Black America’s influence on cooking post reconstruction.",
">\n\nIm not arguing that black Americans didn't improve food (they did), just the literal origin of salt aha"
] |
>
At a certain point, it's not a mistake.
|
[
"If I was a student I would just want to get rid of Aramark for the food. My grade school used them and it always tasted like shit.",
">\n\nWhen I first started working at my school the food was actually “decent” they made staff lunches and most teachers would get it almost every day. The food the kids got was pretty standard school food, but it was fine. Then Aramark came in. No more staff lunches and while we are certainly allowed to buy food from the student line, I don’t know a single adult that would. It’s pretty awful. \nHowever you know Aramark’s food sucks, but the contract the school signed is also super restrictive. Home economics teachers have a hard time ordering ingredients since all food purchases must go through Aramark. The school guarantees a certain number of days where lunch is served so all half days must have lunch even if the timing makes no sense. It even restricts how we handle emergency closures. Of course now the district doesn’t have to give any benefits to underpaid “lunch ladies” so it will never go away.",
">\n\nMy wife tried to be friendly with the trustees and she was effectively run out of the job for acting like they are human beings deserving of even the basics of human decency. This was in a prison though... Not sure about their school side 🤔\nYou cannot have a kind heart and work for Aramark, apparently.",
">\n\nSchool side and prison side are probably the same side.",
">\n\nWhen my campus had them the truck's next stop after us was San Quentin prison. \nThen we changed to a cheaper food supplier :(",
">\n\nThey reportedly were serving maggot and rat infested meals in Detroit prisons, as well as food taken out of the trash. You guys made the correct choice.",
">\n\nWe’re having homemade fried catfish, instant grits, collard greens, fried breaded okra and some black eyed peas for dinner and we always have enough for company!",
">\n\nNo self respecting southerner eats instant grits",
">\n\nSo how many minutes would it take to make your grits? Well perhaps the laws of physics cease to exist on your stove! Were these magic grits? I mean, did you buy them from the same guy who sold Jack his beanstalk beans?!",
">\n\nI love how any line from the movie I can hear in whoever's voice, with the exact ~~annunciation~~ enunciation and inflection.\nEdit - I no spell good.",
">\n\nThe two yoots",
">\n\nDid you say yoot?\nWhat is a yoot?",
">\n\nOh... excuse me your honor... two y o u u u t h h z z...",
">\n\nIs it possible the two defendant's...",
">\n\nPlease take this the right way. I mean this with a good heart. What would be a good menu to celebrate black heritage that wouldn't be offensive?",
">\n\nThe first thing I clicked on had fried chicken as an entree and watermelon salad as a side.",
">\n\nCause they're fucking delicious tbh. Like dude, they didn't just eat it because it was the only thing available, they ate it because it was decent good for cheap AND frying chicken is AMAZING.",
">\n\nOne of the best meals of my life was eaten in New Orleans at some lunch Buffett I found off the beaten path. I had about 7 pieces of fried chicken.",
">\n\nI literally just added stuff to make fried chicken to my instacart. Alas watermelons aren't available right now but holy shit I can't wait for a meal of fried chicken next week rofl. Prolly going cantaloupe",
">\n\nFor Cinco de Mayo, serve me tacos with a side of rice and beans. I’m Mexican American. I DO eat that and often",
">\n\nBack in the day. The mental institutions used to grow food and feed the institution. They would sell excess food to the prisons. The money received would help fund the hospital. The patients there had a job and responsibilities, giving them a sense of purpose.\nNow we have neither mental health care or home grown food. Instead we have Aramark.",
">\n\nThis sort of thing should be a teaching moment, though. Everyone eats food, so the history of food is really just... history, but through a lens that everyone can identify with.\nWatermelon was a staple crop among the freed slaves in the post-Civil War years due to being fast-growing, readily portable, and usable without infrastructure-intensive processing. That black people flocked to grow it didn't escape notice, and a whole bunch of negative stereotypes showed up almost immediately. Fried chicken, similar story. It first showed up in American in the first third of the nineteenth century, but took off after the war where it combined some Scottish frying techniques with West African seasoning styles.\nIt's okay to have a stereotypical food as part of a history month, because stereotypes are part of history, and we should examine them. It's critical to make it about the knowledge, though, and not \"oh lol yeah black people like watermelon, we'll do that.\"",
">\n\nEhh... yes and no.\nYou're right: this is a teachable moment. Stereotypes exist, and frankly we should be teaching kids about stereotypes with an eye for identifying harmful ones and not perpetuating them, while also identifying legitimate aspects of culture, and even how a thing can be both of those things depending on the context.\nBut serving stereotypes for lunch isn't the right context when you're cramming stereotypes in. Chicken and waffles? Sure. But maybe with a side of biscuits, or okra, or any number of other soul-food items that are more legitimate than stereotypical. Watermelon? Same thing, but maybe with a culturally relevant main that's not a raging stereotype.\nIt's the context that matters here. This is the school-lunch equivalent of Gabriel Iglesias' racist gift basket, except not done as a joke between good friends. It's not that any of the items are offensive in and of themselves, it's that when grouped together like that it's clearly an insensitive racial message, not an educational cultural one.",
">\n\nI'm gonna be fucking PISSED if someone serves me birthday cake for my next birthday. That shit is SO STEREOTYPICAL.",
">\n\nThat's really not a great analogy at all. \nFirst--serving birthday cake at a birthday party actually is a cultural thing. So, when living in that culture, it's not a negative stereotype, just a cultural trait.\nSecond--in some hypothetical future society where kids are being taught about US culture around the turn of the millennium, serving birthday cake at a mock birthday party would be actually teaching the kids about that culture through participation in what amounts to a cultural ritual. \nYou'd have to frame it as \"hurr durr, look at me, I'm a white guy, I'm eating birthday cake and and saltine crackers and a hot-dog aspic, now I'm going to put some mild hot sauce on a chicken wing and complain about it being too spicy\" for it to be offensive. Much like \"I'm eating what black people eat, look, fried chicken and watermelon.\"",
">\n\nI think it would be fine if the food was a part of a history lesson and taught kids that yes, these foods were stigmatized (despite being delicious). Ofcourse you couldn't even have that discussion in Texas or Florida.\nA little girl has a crush on my son,.and missed his birthday party. So she got her parents to throw my son a second birthday party. They asked me what my son's favorite food was, and besides bagel and lox, his favorite was fried chicken and watermelon (he has a summer birthday btw).\nFor years my sister refused to eat watermelon and friend chicken, around non black people because she felt like she was playing into the stereotype. So she was not happy that I told that family, what my son's favorite food was. \nWatermelon is a delicious healthy fruit, that's fun to eat, and I don't think we should let the next generation continue to be afraid of the stereotype. Especially because it's just fucking ridiculous. So they used to call watermelon's n-word apples. So fucking what.",
">\n\nWe've gotta just let comedians guide us through this shit. Dave Chapelle already did that a decade ago when he talked about fried and chicken and watermelon.\nIn the end it was like: \"Who the fuck doesn't like fried chicken and watermelon?\" And that's true, most people love it.\nI agree with you completely. We gotta get past this stuff soon, it's really fucking up these most recent generations who don't realize how much better things got over the past few decades regarding racism. I feel like a lot of it is being undone now because people are tired of having to defend themselves in every direction.",
">\n\nI really don't think its gotten any better, in fact its gotten worse, with law makers passing laws to attack segments of the population they want to oppress.",
">\n\nThe trajectory has been bumpy for sure. I certainly feel racism is much less an issue today than it was in the 60's for example. That said, I also feel racism is worse today than it was 10-15 years ago. It's subjective.",
">\n\nthere is so much less racism in society today, but many more things are considered racist by default depending on the ethnicity of the group in question. celebratory if done by the ethnicity that’s being celebrated or another minority, performative or racist if done by white. side effects of social media and resegregation efforts tbh",
">\n\nWay less of the racism that was fought against, but new racism has popped up in its place. Much of it also comes from the side most opposed to racism, which is hilariously ironic. Then there is the divide. Despite the fact there is less racism, many people actually think it is a bigger problem than ever.\nI don't know what to do about it, I just know I am sick of it and so are plenty of others. I'd love to see the pendulum arrive to its rightful place: judge people for who they are, not what they look like.",
">\n\nComments about this make me think the watermelon stereotype isn't as prevalent as it was when I was growing up. But TLDR for anyone unaware of it, it's a Reconstruction era racism that black people had no higher ambitions than a farm animal that wants to be fed its favourite snack like a good boy.",
">\n\nBlack farmers were making money off of chicken and watermelon. White ppl made them feel guilt for being good at things they could commercialized, black farmer could get into with not much capital.",
">\n\nSame with salt. For eons the stereotype was that black ppl put to much salt on everything and ate foods high in sodium and sugar and saturated fat. Now the new cliche is black ppl proclaiming that white people dont season their food or that white peoples cooking is bland and that healthy eating should be ridiculed. Black ppl created and innovated something of their own and then here comes mainstream society to try and twist it around into a criticism of the black community.",
">\n\npretty sure the Chinese or Romans harvested salt first",
">\n\nGood tasting food in the US is the result of Black America’s influence on cooking post reconstruction.",
">\n\nIm not arguing that black Americans didn't improve food (they did), just the literal origin of salt aha",
">\n\nAramark is a reprehensible company. They do not care."
] |
>
Wow serving culturally relevant food during a cultural festival what a crazy controversial idea I can’t believe they did this wow.
America is devouring itself.
Edit: To people saying racist people satirize black people eating fried chicken and watermelon. I know, no shit racist people satirize every food of every ethnicity. That doesn't make it racist for people to eat that food or serve it at a cultural festival.
|
[
"If I was a student I would just want to get rid of Aramark for the food. My grade school used them and it always tasted like shit.",
">\n\nWhen I first started working at my school the food was actually “decent” they made staff lunches and most teachers would get it almost every day. The food the kids got was pretty standard school food, but it was fine. Then Aramark came in. No more staff lunches and while we are certainly allowed to buy food from the student line, I don’t know a single adult that would. It’s pretty awful. \nHowever you know Aramark’s food sucks, but the contract the school signed is also super restrictive. Home economics teachers have a hard time ordering ingredients since all food purchases must go through Aramark. The school guarantees a certain number of days where lunch is served so all half days must have lunch even if the timing makes no sense. It even restricts how we handle emergency closures. Of course now the district doesn’t have to give any benefits to underpaid “lunch ladies” so it will never go away.",
">\n\nMy wife tried to be friendly with the trustees and she was effectively run out of the job for acting like they are human beings deserving of even the basics of human decency. This was in a prison though... Not sure about their school side 🤔\nYou cannot have a kind heart and work for Aramark, apparently.",
">\n\nSchool side and prison side are probably the same side.",
">\n\nWhen my campus had them the truck's next stop after us was San Quentin prison. \nThen we changed to a cheaper food supplier :(",
">\n\nThey reportedly were serving maggot and rat infested meals in Detroit prisons, as well as food taken out of the trash. You guys made the correct choice.",
">\n\nWe’re having homemade fried catfish, instant grits, collard greens, fried breaded okra and some black eyed peas for dinner and we always have enough for company!",
">\n\nNo self respecting southerner eats instant grits",
">\n\nSo how many minutes would it take to make your grits? Well perhaps the laws of physics cease to exist on your stove! Were these magic grits? I mean, did you buy them from the same guy who sold Jack his beanstalk beans?!",
">\n\nI love how any line from the movie I can hear in whoever's voice, with the exact ~~annunciation~~ enunciation and inflection.\nEdit - I no spell good.",
">\n\nThe two yoots",
">\n\nDid you say yoot?\nWhat is a yoot?",
">\n\nOh... excuse me your honor... two y o u u u t h h z z...",
">\n\nIs it possible the two defendant's...",
">\n\nPlease take this the right way. I mean this with a good heart. What would be a good menu to celebrate black heritage that wouldn't be offensive?",
">\n\nThe first thing I clicked on had fried chicken as an entree and watermelon salad as a side.",
">\n\nCause they're fucking delicious tbh. Like dude, they didn't just eat it because it was the only thing available, they ate it because it was decent good for cheap AND frying chicken is AMAZING.",
">\n\nOne of the best meals of my life was eaten in New Orleans at some lunch Buffett I found off the beaten path. I had about 7 pieces of fried chicken.",
">\n\nI literally just added stuff to make fried chicken to my instacart. Alas watermelons aren't available right now but holy shit I can't wait for a meal of fried chicken next week rofl. Prolly going cantaloupe",
">\n\nFor Cinco de Mayo, serve me tacos with a side of rice and beans. I’m Mexican American. I DO eat that and often",
">\n\nBack in the day. The mental institutions used to grow food and feed the institution. They would sell excess food to the prisons. The money received would help fund the hospital. The patients there had a job and responsibilities, giving them a sense of purpose.\nNow we have neither mental health care or home grown food. Instead we have Aramark.",
">\n\nThis sort of thing should be a teaching moment, though. Everyone eats food, so the history of food is really just... history, but through a lens that everyone can identify with.\nWatermelon was a staple crop among the freed slaves in the post-Civil War years due to being fast-growing, readily portable, and usable without infrastructure-intensive processing. That black people flocked to grow it didn't escape notice, and a whole bunch of negative stereotypes showed up almost immediately. Fried chicken, similar story. It first showed up in American in the first third of the nineteenth century, but took off after the war where it combined some Scottish frying techniques with West African seasoning styles.\nIt's okay to have a stereotypical food as part of a history month, because stereotypes are part of history, and we should examine them. It's critical to make it about the knowledge, though, and not \"oh lol yeah black people like watermelon, we'll do that.\"",
">\n\nEhh... yes and no.\nYou're right: this is a teachable moment. Stereotypes exist, and frankly we should be teaching kids about stereotypes with an eye for identifying harmful ones and not perpetuating them, while also identifying legitimate aspects of culture, and even how a thing can be both of those things depending on the context.\nBut serving stereotypes for lunch isn't the right context when you're cramming stereotypes in. Chicken and waffles? Sure. But maybe with a side of biscuits, or okra, or any number of other soul-food items that are more legitimate than stereotypical. Watermelon? Same thing, but maybe with a culturally relevant main that's not a raging stereotype.\nIt's the context that matters here. This is the school-lunch equivalent of Gabriel Iglesias' racist gift basket, except not done as a joke between good friends. It's not that any of the items are offensive in and of themselves, it's that when grouped together like that it's clearly an insensitive racial message, not an educational cultural one.",
">\n\nI'm gonna be fucking PISSED if someone serves me birthday cake for my next birthday. That shit is SO STEREOTYPICAL.",
">\n\nThat's really not a great analogy at all. \nFirst--serving birthday cake at a birthday party actually is a cultural thing. So, when living in that culture, it's not a negative stereotype, just a cultural trait.\nSecond--in some hypothetical future society where kids are being taught about US culture around the turn of the millennium, serving birthday cake at a mock birthday party would be actually teaching the kids about that culture through participation in what amounts to a cultural ritual. \nYou'd have to frame it as \"hurr durr, look at me, I'm a white guy, I'm eating birthday cake and and saltine crackers and a hot-dog aspic, now I'm going to put some mild hot sauce on a chicken wing and complain about it being too spicy\" for it to be offensive. Much like \"I'm eating what black people eat, look, fried chicken and watermelon.\"",
">\n\nI think it would be fine if the food was a part of a history lesson and taught kids that yes, these foods were stigmatized (despite being delicious). Ofcourse you couldn't even have that discussion in Texas or Florida.\nA little girl has a crush on my son,.and missed his birthday party. So she got her parents to throw my son a second birthday party. They asked me what my son's favorite food was, and besides bagel and lox, his favorite was fried chicken and watermelon (he has a summer birthday btw).\nFor years my sister refused to eat watermelon and friend chicken, around non black people because she felt like she was playing into the stereotype. So she was not happy that I told that family, what my son's favorite food was. \nWatermelon is a delicious healthy fruit, that's fun to eat, and I don't think we should let the next generation continue to be afraid of the stereotype. Especially because it's just fucking ridiculous. So they used to call watermelon's n-word apples. So fucking what.",
">\n\nWe've gotta just let comedians guide us through this shit. Dave Chapelle already did that a decade ago when he talked about fried and chicken and watermelon.\nIn the end it was like: \"Who the fuck doesn't like fried chicken and watermelon?\" And that's true, most people love it.\nI agree with you completely. We gotta get past this stuff soon, it's really fucking up these most recent generations who don't realize how much better things got over the past few decades regarding racism. I feel like a lot of it is being undone now because people are tired of having to defend themselves in every direction.",
">\n\nI really don't think its gotten any better, in fact its gotten worse, with law makers passing laws to attack segments of the population they want to oppress.",
">\n\nThe trajectory has been bumpy for sure. I certainly feel racism is much less an issue today than it was in the 60's for example. That said, I also feel racism is worse today than it was 10-15 years ago. It's subjective.",
">\n\nthere is so much less racism in society today, but many more things are considered racist by default depending on the ethnicity of the group in question. celebratory if done by the ethnicity that’s being celebrated or another minority, performative or racist if done by white. side effects of social media and resegregation efforts tbh",
">\n\nWay less of the racism that was fought against, but new racism has popped up in its place. Much of it also comes from the side most opposed to racism, which is hilariously ironic. Then there is the divide. Despite the fact there is less racism, many people actually think it is a bigger problem than ever.\nI don't know what to do about it, I just know I am sick of it and so are plenty of others. I'd love to see the pendulum arrive to its rightful place: judge people for who they are, not what they look like.",
">\n\nComments about this make me think the watermelon stereotype isn't as prevalent as it was when I was growing up. But TLDR for anyone unaware of it, it's a Reconstruction era racism that black people had no higher ambitions than a farm animal that wants to be fed its favourite snack like a good boy.",
">\n\nBlack farmers were making money off of chicken and watermelon. White ppl made them feel guilt for being good at things they could commercialized, black farmer could get into with not much capital.",
">\n\nSame with salt. For eons the stereotype was that black ppl put to much salt on everything and ate foods high in sodium and sugar and saturated fat. Now the new cliche is black ppl proclaiming that white people dont season their food or that white peoples cooking is bland and that healthy eating should be ridiculed. Black ppl created and innovated something of their own and then here comes mainstream society to try and twist it around into a criticism of the black community.",
">\n\npretty sure the Chinese or Romans harvested salt first",
">\n\nGood tasting food in the US is the result of Black America’s influence on cooking post reconstruction.",
">\n\nIm not arguing that black Americans didn't improve food (they did), just the literal origin of salt aha",
">\n\nAramark is a reprehensible company. They do not care.",
">\n\nAt a certain point, it's not a mistake."
] |
>
The first two are fine. But there's always been a problematic relationship with associating fried chicken and African Americans.
|
[
"If I was a student I would just want to get rid of Aramark for the food. My grade school used them and it always tasted like shit.",
">\n\nWhen I first started working at my school the food was actually “decent” they made staff lunches and most teachers would get it almost every day. The food the kids got was pretty standard school food, but it was fine. Then Aramark came in. No more staff lunches and while we are certainly allowed to buy food from the student line, I don’t know a single adult that would. It’s pretty awful. \nHowever you know Aramark’s food sucks, but the contract the school signed is also super restrictive. Home economics teachers have a hard time ordering ingredients since all food purchases must go through Aramark. The school guarantees a certain number of days where lunch is served so all half days must have lunch even if the timing makes no sense. It even restricts how we handle emergency closures. Of course now the district doesn’t have to give any benefits to underpaid “lunch ladies” so it will never go away.",
">\n\nMy wife tried to be friendly with the trustees and she was effectively run out of the job for acting like they are human beings deserving of even the basics of human decency. This was in a prison though... Not sure about their school side 🤔\nYou cannot have a kind heart and work for Aramark, apparently.",
">\n\nSchool side and prison side are probably the same side.",
">\n\nWhen my campus had them the truck's next stop after us was San Quentin prison. \nThen we changed to a cheaper food supplier :(",
">\n\nThey reportedly were serving maggot and rat infested meals in Detroit prisons, as well as food taken out of the trash. You guys made the correct choice.",
">\n\nWe’re having homemade fried catfish, instant grits, collard greens, fried breaded okra and some black eyed peas for dinner and we always have enough for company!",
">\n\nNo self respecting southerner eats instant grits",
">\n\nSo how many minutes would it take to make your grits? Well perhaps the laws of physics cease to exist on your stove! Were these magic grits? I mean, did you buy them from the same guy who sold Jack his beanstalk beans?!",
">\n\nI love how any line from the movie I can hear in whoever's voice, with the exact ~~annunciation~~ enunciation and inflection.\nEdit - I no spell good.",
">\n\nThe two yoots",
">\n\nDid you say yoot?\nWhat is a yoot?",
">\n\nOh... excuse me your honor... two y o u u u t h h z z...",
">\n\nIs it possible the two defendant's...",
">\n\nPlease take this the right way. I mean this with a good heart. What would be a good menu to celebrate black heritage that wouldn't be offensive?",
">\n\nThe first thing I clicked on had fried chicken as an entree and watermelon salad as a side.",
">\n\nCause they're fucking delicious tbh. Like dude, they didn't just eat it because it was the only thing available, they ate it because it was decent good for cheap AND frying chicken is AMAZING.",
">\n\nOne of the best meals of my life was eaten in New Orleans at some lunch Buffett I found off the beaten path. I had about 7 pieces of fried chicken.",
">\n\nI literally just added stuff to make fried chicken to my instacart. Alas watermelons aren't available right now but holy shit I can't wait for a meal of fried chicken next week rofl. Prolly going cantaloupe",
">\n\nFor Cinco de Mayo, serve me tacos with a side of rice and beans. I’m Mexican American. I DO eat that and often",
">\n\nBack in the day. The mental institutions used to grow food and feed the institution. They would sell excess food to the prisons. The money received would help fund the hospital. The patients there had a job and responsibilities, giving them a sense of purpose.\nNow we have neither mental health care or home grown food. Instead we have Aramark.",
">\n\nThis sort of thing should be a teaching moment, though. Everyone eats food, so the history of food is really just... history, but through a lens that everyone can identify with.\nWatermelon was a staple crop among the freed slaves in the post-Civil War years due to being fast-growing, readily portable, and usable without infrastructure-intensive processing. That black people flocked to grow it didn't escape notice, and a whole bunch of negative stereotypes showed up almost immediately. Fried chicken, similar story. It first showed up in American in the first third of the nineteenth century, but took off after the war where it combined some Scottish frying techniques with West African seasoning styles.\nIt's okay to have a stereotypical food as part of a history month, because stereotypes are part of history, and we should examine them. It's critical to make it about the knowledge, though, and not \"oh lol yeah black people like watermelon, we'll do that.\"",
">\n\nEhh... yes and no.\nYou're right: this is a teachable moment. Stereotypes exist, and frankly we should be teaching kids about stereotypes with an eye for identifying harmful ones and not perpetuating them, while also identifying legitimate aspects of culture, and even how a thing can be both of those things depending on the context.\nBut serving stereotypes for lunch isn't the right context when you're cramming stereotypes in. Chicken and waffles? Sure. But maybe with a side of biscuits, or okra, or any number of other soul-food items that are more legitimate than stereotypical. Watermelon? Same thing, but maybe with a culturally relevant main that's not a raging stereotype.\nIt's the context that matters here. This is the school-lunch equivalent of Gabriel Iglesias' racist gift basket, except not done as a joke between good friends. It's not that any of the items are offensive in and of themselves, it's that when grouped together like that it's clearly an insensitive racial message, not an educational cultural one.",
">\n\nI'm gonna be fucking PISSED if someone serves me birthday cake for my next birthday. That shit is SO STEREOTYPICAL.",
">\n\nThat's really not a great analogy at all. \nFirst--serving birthday cake at a birthday party actually is a cultural thing. So, when living in that culture, it's not a negative stereotype, just a cultural trait.\nSecond--in some hypothetical future society where kids are being taught about US culture around the turn of the millennium, serving birthday cake at a mock birthday party would be actually teaching the kids about that culture through participation in what amounts to a cultural ritual. \nYou'd have to frame it as \"hurr durr, look at me, I'm a white guy, I'm eating birthday cake and and saltine crackers and a hot-dog aspic, now I'm going to put some mild hot sauce on a chicken wing and complain about it being too spicy\" for it to be offensive. Much like \"I'm eating what black people eat, look, fried chicken and watermelon.\"",
">\n\nI think it would be fine if the food was a part of a history lesson and taught kids that yes, these foods were stigmatized (despite being delicious). Ofcourse you couldn't even have that discussion in Texas or Florida.\nA little girl has a crush on my son,.and missed his birthday party. So she got her parents to throw my son a second birthday party. They asked me what my son's favorite food was, and besides bagel and lox, his favorite was fried chicken and watermelon (he has a summer birthday btw).\nFor years my sister refused to eat watermelon and friend chicken, around non black people because she felt like she was playing into the stereotype. So she was not happy that I told that family, what my son's favorite food was. \nWatermelon is a delicious healthy fruit, that's fun to eat, and I don't think we should let the next generation continue to be afraid of the stereotype. Especially because it's just fucking ridiculous. So they used to call watermelon's n-word apples. So fucking what.",
">\n\nWe've gotta just let comedians guide us through this shit. Dave Chapelle already did that a decade ago when he talked about fried and chicken and watermelon.\nIn the end it was like: \"Who the fuck doesn't like fried chicken and watermelon?\" And that's true, most people love it.\nI agree with you completely. We gotta get past this stuff soon, it's really fucking up these most recent generations who don't realize how much better things got over the past few decades regarding racism. I feel like a lot of it is being undone now because people are tired of having to defend themselves in every direction.",
">\n\nI really don't think its gotten any better, in fact its gotten worse, with law makers passing laws to attack segments of the population they want to oppress.",
">\n\nThe trajectory has been bumpy for sure. I certainly feel racism is much less an issue today than it was in the 60's for example. That said, I also feel racism is worse today than it was 10-15 years ago. It's subjective.",
">\n\nthere is so much less racism in society today, but many more things are considered racist by default depending on the ethnicity of the group in question. celebratory if done by the ethnicity that’s being celebrated or another minority, performative or racist if done by white. side effects of social media and resegregation efforts tbh",
">\n\nWay less of the racism that was fought against, but new racism has popped up in its place. Much of it also comes from the side most opposed to racism, which is hilariously ironic. Then there is the divide. Despite the fact there is less racism, many people actually think it is a bigger problem than ever.\nI don't know what to do about it, I just know I am sick of it and so are plenty of others. I'd love to see the pendulum arrive to its rightful place: judge people for who they are, not what they look like.",
">\n\nComments about this make me think the watermelon stereotype isn't as prevalent as it was when I was growing up. But TLDR for anyone unaware of it, it's a Reconstruction era racism that black people had no higher ambitions than a farm animal that wants to be fed its favourite snack like a good boy.",
">\n\nBlack farmers were making money off of chicken and watermelon. White ppl made them feel guilt for being good at things they could commercialized, black farmer could get into with not much capital.",
">\n\nSame with salt. For eons the stereotype was that black ppl put to much salt on everything and ate foods high in sodium and sugar and saturated fat. Now the new cliche is black ppl proclaiming that white people dont season their food or that white peoples cooking is bland and that healthy eating should be ridiculed. Black ppl created and innovated something of their own and then here comes mainstream society to try and twist it around into a criticism of the black community.",
">\n\npretty sure the Chinese or Romans harvested salt first",
">\n\nGood tasting food in the US is the result of Black America’s influence on cooking post reconstruction.",
">\n\nIm not arguing that black Americans didn't improve food (they did), just the literal origin of salt aha",
">\n\nAramark is a reprehensible company. They do not care.",
">\n\nAt a certain point, it's not a mistake.",
">\n\nWow serving culturally relevant food during a cultural festival what a crazy controversial idea I can’t believe they did this wow.\nAmerica is devouring itself.\nEdit: To people saying racist people satirize black people eating fried chicken and watermelon. I know, no shit racist people satirize every food of every ethnicity. That doesn't make it racist for people to eat that food or serve it at a cultural festival."
] |
>
There is no problem with being associated with fried chicken . That just doesn't make sense. Every race or country of people has some sort of food stereotype.
|
[
"If I was a student I would just want to get rid of Aramark for the food. My grade school used them and it always tasted like shit.",
">\n\nWhen I first started working at my school the food was actually “decent” they made staff lunches and most teachers would get it almost every day. The food the kids got was pretty standard school food, but it was fine. Then Aramark came in. No more staff lunches and while we are certainly allowed to buy food from the student line, I don’t know a single adult that would. It’s pretty awful. \nHowever you know Aramark’s food sucks, but the contract the school signed is also super restrictive. Home economics teachers have a hard time ordering ingredients since all food purchases must go through Aramark. The school guarantees a certain number of days where lunch is served so all half days must have lunch even if the timing makes no sense. It even restricts how we handle emergency closures. Of course now the district doesn’t have to give any benefits to underpaid “lunch ladies” so it will never go away.",
">\n\nMy wife tried to be friendly with the trustees and she was effectively run out of the job for acting like they are human beings deserving of even the basics of human decency. This was in a prison though... Not sure about their school side 🤔\nYou cannot have a kind heart and work for Aramark, apparently.",
">\n\nSchool side and prison side are probably the same side.",
">\n\nWhen my campus had them the truck's next stop after us was San Quentin prison. \nThen we changed to a cheaper food supplier :(",
">\n\nThey reportedly were serving maggot and rat infested meals in Detroit prisons, as well as food taken out of the trash. You guys made the correct choice.",
">\n\nWe’re having homemade fried catfish, instant grits, collard greens, fried breaded okra and some black eyed peas for dinner and we always have enough for company!",
">\n\nNo self respecting southerner eats instant grits",
">\n\nSo how many minutes would it take to make your grits? Well perhaps the laws of physics cease to exist on your stove! Were these magic grits? I mean, did you buy them from the same guy who sold Jack his beanstalk beans?!",
">\n\nI love how any line from the movie I can hear in whoever's voice, with the exact ~~annunciation~~ enunciation and inflection.\nEdit - I no spell good.",
">\n\nThe two yoots",
">\n\nDid you say yoot?\nWhat is a yoot?",
">\n\nOh... excuse me your honor... two y o u u u t h h z z...",
">\n\nIs it possible the two defendant's...",
">\n\nPlease take this the right way. I mean this with a good heart. What would be a good menu to celebrate black heritage that wouldn't be offensive?",
">\n\nThe first thing I clicked on had fried chicken as an entree and watermelon salad as a side.",
">\n\nCause they're fucking delicious tbh. Like dude, they didn't just eat it because it was the only thing available, they ate it because it was decent good for cheap AND frying chicken is AMAZING.",
">\n\nOne of the best meals of my life was eaten in New Orleans at some lunch Buffett I found off the beaten path. I had about 7 pieces of fried chicken.",
">\n\nI literally just added stuff to make fried chicken to my instacart. Alas watermelons aren't available right now but holy shit I can't wait for a meal of fried chicken next week rofl. Prolly going cantaloupe",
">\n\nFor Cinco de Mayo, serve me tacos with a side of rice and beans. I’m Mexican American. I DO eat that and often",
">\n\nBack in the day. The mental institutions used to grow food and feed the institution. They would sell excess food to the prisons. The money received would help fund the hospital. The patients there had a job and responsibilities, giving them a sense of purpose.\nNow we have neither mental health care or home grown food. Instead we have Aramark.",
">\n\nThis sort of thing should be a teaching moment, though. Everyone eats food, so the history of food is really just... history, but through a lens that everyone can identify with.\nWatermelon was a staple crop among the freed slaves in the post-Civil War years due to being fast-growing, readily portable, and usable without infrastructure-intensive processing. That black people flocked to grow it didn't escape notice, and a whole bunch of negative stereotypes showed up almost immediately. Fried chicken, similar story. It first showed up in American in the first third of the nineteenth century, but took off after the war where it combined some Scottish frying techniques with West African seasoning styles.\nIt's okay to have a stereotypical food as part of a history month, because stereotypes are part of history, and we should examine them. It's critical to make it about the knowledge, though, and not \"oh lol yeah black people like watermelon, we'll do that.\"",
">\n\nEhh... yes and no.\nYou're right: this is a teachable moment. Stereotypes exist, and frankly we should be teaching kids about stereotypes with an eye for identifying harmful ones and not perpetuating them, while also identifying legitimate aspects of culture, and even how a thing can be both of those things depending on the context.\nBut serving stereotypes for lunch isn't the right context when you're cramming stereotypes in. Chicken and waffles? Sure. But maybe with a side of biscuits, or okra, or any number of other soul-food items that are more legitimate than stereotypical. Watermelon? Same thing, but maybe with a culturally relevant main that's not a raging stereotype.\nIt's the context that matters here. This is the school-lunch equivalent of Gabriel Iglesias' racist gift basket, except not done as a joke between good friends. It's not that any of the items are offensive in and of themselves, it's that when grouped together like that it's clearly an insensitive racial message, not an educational cultural one.",
">\n\nI'm gonna be fucking PISSED if someone serves me birthday cake for my next birthday. That shit is SO STEREOTYPICAL.",
">\n\nThat's really not a great analogy at all. \nFirst--serving birthday cake at a birthday party actually is a cultural thing. So, when living in that culture, it's not a negative stereotype, just a cultural trait.\nSecond--in some hypothetical future society where kids are being taught about US culture around the turn of the millennium, serving birthday cake at a mock birthday party would be actually teaching the kids about that culture through participation in what amounts to a cultural ritual. \nYou'd have to frame it as \"hurr durr, look at me, I'm a white guy, I'm eating birthday cake and and saltine crackers and a hot-dog aspic, now I'm going to put some mild hot sauce on a chicken wing and complain about it being too spicy\" for it to be offensive. Much like \"I'm eating what black people eat, look, fried chicken and watermelon.\"",
">\n\nI think it would be fine if the food was a part of a history lesson and taught kids that yes, these foods were stigmatized (despite being delicious). Ofcourse you couldn't even have that discussion in Texas or Florida.\nA little girl has a crush on my son,.and missed his birthday party. So she got her parents to throw my son a second birthday party. They asked me what my son's favorite food was, and besides bagel and lox, his favorite was fried chicken and watermelon (he has a summer birthday btw).\nFor years my sister refused to eat watermelon and friend chicken, around non black people because she felt like she was playing into the stereotype. So she was not happy that I told that family, what my son's favorite food was. \nWatermelon is a delicious healthy fruit, that's fun to eat, and I don't think we should let the next generation continue to be afraid of the stereotype. Especially because it's just fucking ridiculous. So they used to call watermelon's n-word apples. So fucking what.",
">\n\nWe've gotta just let comedians guide us through this shit. Dave Chapelle already did that a decade ago when he talked about fried and chicken and watermelon.\nIn the end it was like: \"Who the fuck doesn't like fried chicken and watermelon?\" And that's true, most people love it.\nI agree with you completely. We gotta get past this stuff soon, it's really fucking up these most recent generations who don't realize how much better things got over the past few decades regarding racism. I feel like a lot of it is being undone now because people are tired of having to defend themselves in every direction.",
">\n\nI really don't think its gotten any better, in fact its gotten worse, with law makers passing laws to attack segments of the population they want to oppress.",
">\n\nThe trajectory has been bumpy for sure. I certainly feel racism is much less an issue today than it was in the 60's for example. That said, I also feel racism is worse today than it was 10-15 years ago. It's subjective.",
">\n\nthere is so much less racism in society today, but many more things are considered racist by default depending on the ethnicity of the group in question. celebratory if done by the ethnicity that’s being celebrated or another minority, performative or racist if done by white. side effects of social media and resegregation efforts tbh",
">\n\nWay less of the racism that was fought against, but new racism has popped up in its place. Much of it also comes from the side most opposed to racism, which is hilariously ironic. Then there is the divide. Despite the fact there is less racism, many people actually think it is a bigger problem than ever.\nI don't know what to do about it, I just know I am sick of it and so are plenty of others. I'd love to see the pendulum arrive to its rightful place: judge people for who they are, not what they look like.",
">\n\nComments about this make me think the watermelon stereotype isn't as prevalent as it was when I was growing up. But TLDR for anyone unaware of it, it's a Reconstruction era racism that black people had no higher ambitions than a farm animal that wants to be fed its favourite snack like a good boy.",
">\n\nBlack farmers were making money off of chicken and watermelon. White ppl made them feel guilt for being good at things they could commercialized, black farmer could get into with not much capital.",
">\n\nSame with salt. For eons the stereotype was that black ppl put to much salt on everything and ate foods high in sodium and sugar and saturated fat. Now the new cliche is black ppl proclaiming that white people dont season their food or that white peoples cooking is bland and that healthy eating should be ridiculed. Black ppl created and innovated something of their own and then here comes mainstream society to try and twist it around into a criticism of the black community.",
">\n\npretty sure the Chinese or Romans harvested salt first",
">\n\nGood tasting food in the US is the result of Black America’s influence on cooking post reconstruction.",
">\n\nIm not arguing that black Americans didn't improve food (they did), just the literal origin of salt aha",
">\n\nAramark is a reprehensible company. They do not care.",
">\n\nAt a certain point, it's not a mistake.",
">\n\nWow serving culturally relevant food during a cultural festival what a crazy controversial idea I can’t believe they did this wow.\nAmerica is devouring itself.\nEdit: To people saying racist people satirize black people eating fried chicken and watermelon. I know, no shit racist people satirize every food of every ethnicity. That doesn't make it racist for people to eat that food or serve it at a cultural festival.",
">\n\nThe first two are fine. But there's always been a problematic relationship with associating fried chicken and African Americans."
] |
>
It's the historical depictions that make it at issue. Do a little googling you'll find bug eyed big lipped images/cartoons of black people with watermelon and broken servile English. Yassuh boss, nossuh, ion know boss. Everyone eats watermelon now but it used to be a garbage food along with a lot of other "traditional " black food. Only worthy of feeding the slaves while the white people considered it beneath them. So yes that food stereotype exists but it wasn't by choice, it was forced upon people and then used as a mockery of who they were.
|
[
"If I was a student I would just want to get rid of Aramark for the food. My grade school used them and it always tasted like shit.",
">\n\nWhen I first started working at my school the food was actually “decent” they made staff lunches and most teachers would get it almost every day. The food the kids got was pretty standard school food, but it was fine. Then Aramark came in. No more staff lunches and while we are certainly allowed to buy food from the student line, I don’t know a single adult that would. It’s pretty awful. \nHowever you know Aramark’s food sucks, but the contract the school signed is also super restrictive. Home economics teachers have a hard time ordering ingredients since all food purchases must go through Aramark. The school guarantees a certain number of days where lunch is served so all half days must have lunch even if the timing makes no sense. It even restricts how we handle emergency closures. Of course now the district doesn’t have to give any benefits to underpaid “lunch ladies” so it will never go away.",
">\n\nMy wife tried to be friendly with the trustees and she was effectively run out of the job for acting like they are human beings deserving of even the basics of human decency. This was in a prison though... Not sure about their school side 🤔\nYou cannot have a kind heart and work for Aramark, apparently.",
">\n\nSchool side and prison side are probably the same side.",
">\n\nWhen my campus had them the truck's next stop after us was San Quentin prison. \nThen we changed to a cheaper food supplier :(",
">\n\nThey reportedly were serving maggot and rat infested meals in Detroit prisons, as well as food taken out of the trash. You guys made the correct choice.",
">\n\nWe’re having homemade fried catfish, instant grits, collard greens, fried breaded okra and some black eyed peas for dinner and we always have enough for company!",
">\n\nNo self respecting southerner eats instant grits",
">\n\nSo how many minutes would it take to make your grits? Well perhaps the laws of physics cease to exist on your stove! Were these magic grits? I mean, did you buy them from the same guy who sold Jack his beanstalk beans?!",
">\n\nI love how any line from the movie I can hear in whoever's voice, with the exact ~~annunciation~~ enunciation and inflection.\nEdit - I no spell good.",
">\n\nThe two yoots",
">\n\nDid you say yoot?\nWhat is a yoot?",
">\n\nOh... excuse me your honor... two y o u u u t h h z z...",
">\n\nIs it possible the two defendant's...",
">\n\nPlease take this the right way. I mean this with a good heart. What would be a good menu to celebrate black heritage that wouldn't be offensive?",
">\n\nThe first thing I clicked on had fried chicken as an entree and watermelon salad as a side.",
">\n\nCause they're fucking delicious tbh. Like dude, they didn't just eat it because it was the only thing available, they ate it because it was decent good for cheap AND frying chicken is AMAZING.",
">\n\nOne of the best meals of my life was eaten in New Orleans at some lunch Buffett I found off the beaten path. I had about 7 pieces of fried chicken.",
">\n\nI literally just added stuff to make fried chicken to my instacart. Alas watermelons aren't available right now but holy shit I can't wait for a meal of fried chicken next week rofl. Prolly going cantaloupe",
">\n\nFor Cinco de Mayo, serve me tacos with a side of rice and beans. I’m Mexican American. I DO eat that and often",
">\n\nBack in the day. The mental institutions used to grow food and feed the institution. They would sell excess food to the prisons. The money received would help fund the hospital. The patients there had a job and responsibilities, giving them a sense of purpose.\nNow we have neither mental health care or home grown food. Instead we have Aramark.",
">\n\nThis sort of thing should be a teaching moment, though. Everyone eats food, so the history of food is really just... history, but through a lens that everyone can identify with.\nWatermelon was a staple crop among the freed slaves in the post-Civil War years due to being fast-growing, readily portable, and usable without infrastructure-intensive processing. That black people flocked to grow it didn't escape notice, and a whole bunch of negative stereotypes showed up almost immediately. Fried chicken, similar story. It first showed up in American in the first third of the nineteenth century, but took off after the war where it combined some Scottish frying techniques with West African seasoning styles.\nIt's okay to have a stereotypical food as part of a history month, because stereotypes are part of history, and we should examine them. It's critical to make it about the knowledge, though, and not \"oh lol yeah black people like watermelon, we'll do that.\"",
">\n\nEhh... yes and no.\nYou're right: this is a teachable moment. Stereotypes exist, and frankly we should be teaching kids about stereotypes with an eye for identifying harmful ones and not perpetuating them, while also identifying legitimate aspects of culture, and even how a thing can be both of those things depending on the context.\nBut serving stereotypes for lunch isn't the right context when you're cramming stereotypes in. Chicken and waffles? Sure. But maybe with a side of biscuits, or okra, or any number of other soul-food items that are more legitimate than stereotypical. Watermelon? Same thing, but maybe with a culturally relevant main that's not a raging stereotype.\nIt's the context that matters here. This is the school-lunch equivalent of Gabriel Iglesias' racist gift basket, except not done as a joke between good friends. It's not that any of the items are offensive in and of themselves, it's that when grouped together like that it's clearly an insensitive racial message, not an educational cultural one.",
">\n\nI'm gonna be fucking PISSED if someone serves me birthday cake for my next birthday. That shit is SO STEREOTYPICAL.",
">\n\nThat's really not a great analogy at all. \nFirst--serving birthday cake at a birthday party actually is a cultural thing. So, when living in that culture, it's not a negative stereotype, just a cultural trait.\nSecond--in some hypothetical future society where kids are being taught about US culture around the turn of the millennium, serving birthday cake at a mock birthday party would be actually teaching the kids about that culture through participation in what amounts to a cultural ritual. \nYou'd have to frame it as \"hurr durr, look at me, I'm a white guy, I'm eating birthday cake and and saltine crackers and a hot-dog aspic, now I'm going to put some mild hot sauce on a chicken wing and complain about it being too spicy\" for it to be offensive. Much like \"I'm eating what black people eat, look, fried chicken and watermelon.\"",
">\n\nI think it would be fine if the food was a part of a history lesson and taught kids that yes, these foods were stigmatized (despite being delicious). Ofcourse you couldn't even have that discussion in Texas or Florida.\nA little girl has a crush on my son,.and missed his birthday party. So she got her parents to throw my son a second birthday party. They asked me what my son's favorite food was, and besides bagel and lox, his favorite was fried chicken and watermelon (he has a summer birthday btw).\nFor years my sister refused to eat watermelon and friend chicken, around non black people because she felt like she was playing into the stereotype. So she was not happy that I told that family, what my son's favorite food was. \nWatermelon is a delicious healthy fruit, that's fun to eat, and I don't think we should let the next generation continue to be afraid of the stereotype. Especially because it's just fucking ridiculous. So they used to call watermelon's n-word apples. So fucking what.",
">\n\nWe've gotta just let comedians guide us through this shit. Dave Chapelle already did that a decade ago when he talked about fried and chicken and watermelon.\nIn the end it was like: \"Who the fuck doesn't like fried chicken and watermelon?\" And that's true, most people love it.\nI agree with you completely. We gotta get past this stuff soon, it's really fucking up these most recent generations who don't realize how much better things got over the past few decades regarding racism. I feel like a lot of it is being undone now because people are tired of having to defend themselves in every direction.",
">\n\nI really don't think its gotten any better, in fact its gotten worse, with law makers passing laws to attack segments of the population they want to oppress.",
">\n\nThe trajectory has been bumpy for sure. I certainly feel racism is much less an issue today than it was in the 60's for example. That said, I also feel racism is worse today than it was 10-15 years ago. It's subjective.",
">\n\nthere is so much less racism in society today, but many more things are considered racist by default depending on the ethnicity of the group in question. celebratory if done by the ethnicity that’s being celebrated or another minority, performative or racist if done by white. side effects of social media and resegregation efforts tbh",
">\n\nWay less of the racism that was fought against, but new racism has popped up in its place. Much of it also comes from the side most opposed to racism, which is hilariously ironic. Then there is the divide. Despite the fact there is less racism, many people actually think it is a bigger problem than ever.\nI don't know what to do about it, I just know I am sick of it and so are plenty of others. I'd love to see the pendulum arrive to its rightful place: judge people for who they are, not what they look like.",
">\n\nComments about this make me think the watermelon stereotype isn't as prevalent as it was when I was growing up. But TLDR for anyone unaware of it, it's a Reconstruction era racism that black people had no higher ambitions than a farm animal that wants to be fed its favourite snack like a good boy.",
">\n\nBlack farmers were making money off of chicken and watermelon. White ppl made them feel guilt for being good at things they could commercialized, black farmer could get into with not much capital.",
">\n\nSame with salt. For eons the stereotype was that black ppl put to much salt on everything and ate foods high in sodium and sugar and saturated fat. Now the new cliche is black ppl proclaiming that white people dont season their food or that white peoples cooking is bland and that healthy eating should be ridiculed. Black ppl created and innovated something of their own and then here comes mainstream society to try and twist it around into a criticism of the black community.",
">\n\npretty sure the Chinese or Romans harvested salt first",
">\n\nGood tasting food in the US is the result of Black America’s influence on cooking post reconstruction.",
">\n\nIm not arguing that black Americans didn't improve food (they did), just the literal origin of salt aha",
">\n\nAramark is a reprehensible company. They do not care.",
">\n\nAt a certain point, it's not a mistake.",
">\n\nWow serving culturally relevant food during a cultural festival what a crazy controversial idea I can’t believe they did this wow.\nAmerica is devouring itself.\nEdit: To people saying racist people satirize black people eating fried chicken and watermelon. I know, no shit racist people satirize every food of every ethnicity. That doesn't make it racist for people to eat that food or serve it at a cultural festival.",
">\n\nThe first two are fine. But there's always been a problematic relationship with associating fried chicken and African Americans.",
">\n\nThere is no problem with being associated with fried chicken . That just doesn't make sense. Every race or country of people has some sort of food stereotype."
] |
>
Every culture has had its food of choice used against it.
There are tonnes of old magazines depicting the Irish as literal potato eating monkeys (yes, monkeys), will that stop me, an Irish person, from eating or feeling bad eating Irish potatoes, fuck no, those pricks can go fuck themselves, I'll eat a potato if I want to eat a potato.
I won't give them or their shit a second thought.
|
[
"If I was a student I would just want to get rid of Aramark for the food. My grade school used them and it always tasted like shit.",
">\n\nWhen I first started working at my school the food was actually “decent” they made staff lunches and most teachers would get it almost every day. The food the kids got was pretty standard school food, but it was fine. Then Aramark came in. No more staff lunches and while we are certainly allowed to buy food from the student line, I don’t know a single adult that would. It’s pretty awful. \nHowever you know Aramark’s food sucks, but the contract the school signed is also super restrictive. Home economics teachers have a hard time ordering ingredients since all food purchases must go through Aramark. The school guarantees a certain number of days where lunch is served so all half days must have lunch even if the timing makes no sense. It even restricts how we handle emergency closures. Of course now the district doesn’t have to give any benefits to underpaid “lunch ladies” so it will never go away.",
">\n\nMy wife tried to be friendly with the trustees and she was effectively run out of the job for acting like they are human beings deserving of even the basics of human decency. This was in a prison though... Not sure about their school side 🤔\nYou cannot have a kind heart and work for Aramark, apparently.",
">\n\nSchool side and prison side are probably the same side.",
">\n\nWhen my campus had them the truck's next stop after us was San Quentin prison. \nThen we changed to a cheaper food supplier :(",
">\n\nThey reportedly were serving maggot and rat infested meals in Detroit prisons, as well as food taken out of the trash. You guys made the correct choice.",
">\n\nWe’re having homemade fried catfish, instant grits, collard greens, fried breaded okra and some black eyed peas for dinner and we always have enough for company!",
">\n\nNo self respecting southerner eats instant grits",
">\n\nSo how many minutes would it take to make your grits? Well perhaps the laws of physics cease to exist on your stove! Were these magic grits? I mean, did you buy them from the same guy who sold Jack his beanstalk beans?!",
">\n\nI love how any line from the movie I can hear in whoever's voice, with the exact ~~annunciation~~ enunciation and inflection.\nEdit - I no spell good.",
">\n\nThe two yoots",
">\n\nDid you say yoot?\nWhat is a yoot?",
">\n\nOh... excuse me your honor... two y o u u u t h h z z...",
">\n\nIs it possible the two defendant's...",
">\n\nPlease take this the right way. I mean this with a good heart. What would be a good menu to celebrate black heritage that wouldn't be offensive?",
">\n\nThe first thing I clicked on had fried chicken as an entree and watermelon salad as a side.",
">\n\nCause they're fucking delicious tbh. Like dude, they didn't just eat it because it was the only thing available, they ate it because it was decent good for cheap AND frying chicken is AMAZING.",
">\n\nOne of the best meals of my life was eaten in New Orleans at some lunch Buffett I found off the beaten path. I had about 7 pieces of fried chicken.",
">\n\nI literally just added stuff to make fried chicken to my instacart. Alas watermelons aren't available right now but holy shit I can't wait for a meal of fried chicken next week rofl. Prolly going cantaloupe",
">\n\nFor Cinco de Mayo, serve me tacos with a side of rice and beans. I’m Mexican American. I DO eat that and often",
">\n\nBack in the day. The mental institutions used to grow food and feed the institution. They would sell excess food to the prisons. The money received would help fund the hospital. The patients there had a job and responsibilities, giving them a sense of purpose.\nNow we have neither mental health care or home grown food. Instead we have Aramark.",
">\n\nThis sort of thing should be a teaching moment, though. Everyone eats food, so the history of food is really just... history, but through a lens that everyone can identify with.\nWatermelon was a staple crop among the freed slaves in the post-Civil War years due to being fast-growing, readily portable, and usable without infrastructure-intensive processing. That black people flocked to grow it didn't escape notice, and a whole bunch of negative stereotypes showed up almost immediately. Fried chicken, similar story. It first showed up in American in the first third of the nineteenth century, but took off after the war where it combined some Scottish frying techniques with West African seasoning styles.\nIt's okay to have a stereotypical food as part of a history month, because stereotypes are part of history, and we should examine them. It's critical to make it about the knowledge, though, and not \"oh lol yeah black people like watermelon, we'll do that.\"",
">\n\nEhh... yes and no.\nYou're right: this is a teachable moment. Stereotypes exist, and frankly we should be teaching kids about stereotypes with an eye for identifying harmful ones and not perpetuating them, while also identifying legitimate aspects of culture, and even how a thing can be both of those things depending on the context.\nBut serving stereotypes for lunch isn't the right context when you're cramming stereotypes in. Chicken and waffles? Sure. But maybe with a side of biscuits, or okra, or any number of other soul-food items that are more legitimate than stereotypical. Watermelon? Same thing, but maybe with a culturally relevant main that's not a raging stereotype.\nIt's the context that matters here. This is the school-lunch equivalent of Gabriel Iglesias' racist gift basket, except not done as a joke between good friends. It's not that any of the items are offensive in and of themselves, it's that when grouped together like that it's clearly an insensitive racial message, not an educational cultural one.",
">\n\nI'm gonna be fucking PISSED if someone serves me birthday cake for my next birthday. That shit is SO STEREOTYPICAL.",
">\n\nThat's really not a great analogy at all. \nFirst--serving birthday cake at a birthday party actually is a cultural thing. So, when living in that culture, it's not a negative stereotype, just a cultural trait.\nSecond--in some hypothetical future society where kids are being taught about US culture around the turn of the millennium, serving birthday cake at a mock birthday party would be actually teaching the kids about that culture through participation in what amounts to a cultural ritual. \nYou'd have to frame it as \"hurr durr, look at me, I'm a white guy, I'm eating birthday cake and and saltine crackers and a hot-dog aspic, now I'm going to put some mild hot sauce on a chicken wing and complain about it being too spicy\" for it to be offensive. Much like \"I'm eating what black people eat, look, fried chicken and watermelon.\"",
">\n\nI think it would be fine if the food was a part of a history lesson and taught kids that yes, these foods were stigmatized (despite being delicious). Ofcourse you couldn't even have that discussion in Texas or Florida.\nA little girl has a crush on my son,.and missed his birthday party. So she got her parents to throw my son a second birthday party. They asked me what my son's favorite food was, and besides bagel and lox, his favorite was fried chicken and watermelon (he has a summer birthday btw).\nFor years my sister refused to eat watermelon and friend chicken, around non black people because she felt like she was playing into the stereotype. So she was not happy that I told that family, what my son's favorite food was. \nWatermelon is a delicious healthy fruit, that's fun to eat, and I don't think we should let the next generation continue to be afraid of the stereotype. Especially because it's just fucking ridiculous. So they used to call watermelon's n-word apples. So fucking what.",
">\n\nWe've gotta just let comedians guide us through this shit. Dave Chapelle already did that a decade ago when he talked about fried and chicken and watermelon.\nIn the end it was like: \"Who the fuck doesn't like fried chicken and watermelon?\" And that's true, most people love it.\nI agree with you completely. We gotta get past this stuff soon, it's really fucking up these most recent generations who don't realize how much better things got over the past few decades regarding racism. I feel like a lot of it is being undone now because people are tired of having to defend themselves in every direction.",
">\n\nI really don't think its gotten any better, in fact its gotten worse, with law makers passing laws to attack segments of the population they want to oppress.",
">\n\nThe trajectory has been bumpy for sure. I certainly feel racism is much less an issue today than it was in the 60's for example. That said, I also feel racism is worse today than it was 10-15 years ago. It's subjective.",
">\n\nthere is so much less racism in society today, but many more things are considered racist by default depending on the ethnicity of the group in question. celebratory if done by the ethnicity that’s being celebrated or another minority, performative or racist if done by white. side effects of social media and resegregation efforts tbh",
">\n\nWay less of the racism that was fought against, but new racism has popped up in its place. Much of it also comes from the side most opposed to racism, which is hilariously ironic. Then there is the divide. Despite the fact there is less racism, many people actually think it is a bigger problem than ever.\nI don't know what to do about it, I just know I am sick of it and so are plenty of others. I'd love to see the pendulum arrive to its rightful place: judge people for who they are, not what they look like.",
">\n\nComments about this make me think the watermelon stereotype isn't as prevalent as it was when I was growing up. But TLDR for anyone unaware of it, it's a Reconstruction era racism that black people had no higher ambitions than a farm animal that wants to be fed its favourite snack like a good boy.",
">\n\nBlack farmers were making money off of chicken and watermelon. White ppl made them feel guilt for being good at things they could commercialized, black farmer could get into with not much capital.",
">\n\nSame with salt. For eons the stereotype was that black ppl put to much salt on everything and ate foods high in sodium and sugar and saturated fat. Now the new cliche is black ppl proclaiming that white people dont season their food or that white peoples cooking is bland and that healthy eating should be ridiculed. Black ppl created and innovated something of their own and then here comes mainstream society to try and twist it around into a criticism of the black community.",
">\n\npretty sure the Chinese or Romans harvested salt first",
">\n\nGood tasting food in the US is the result of Black America’s influence on cooking post reconstruction.",
">\n\nIm not arguing that black Americans didn't improve food (they did), just the literal origin of salt aha",
">\n\nAramark is a reprehensible company. They do not care.",
">\n\nAt a certain point, it's not a mistake.",
">\n\nWow serving culturally relevant food during a cultural festival what a crazy controversial idea I can’t believe they did this wow.\nAmerica is devouring itself.\nEdit: To people saying racist people satirize black people eating fried chicken and watermelon. I know, no shit racist people satirize every food of every ethnicity. That doesn't make it racist for people to eat that food or serve it at a cultural festival.",
">\n\nThe first two are fine. But there's always been a problematic relationship with associating fried chicken and African Americans.",
">\n\nThere is no problem with being associated with fried chicken . That just doesn't make sense. Every race or country of people has some sort of food stereotype.",
">\n\nIt's the historical depictions that make it at issue. Do a little googling you'll find bug eyed big lipped images/cartoons of black people with watermelon and broken servile English. Yassuh boss, nossuh, ion know boss. Everyone eats watermelon now but it used to be a garbage food along with a lot of other \"traditional \" black food. Only worthy of feeding the slaves while the white people considered it beneath them. So yes that food stereotype exists but it wasn't by choice, it was forced upon people and then used as a mockery of who they were."
] |
>
The point being it wasn't their food of choice. It was given as slops unworthy to feed those above them and then used to mock them. The Irish had a spell of similar harassment yes I'd agree. There was a time when they weren't allowed in various establishments. That period was relatively small in comparison though. However it's not even about whether it's good or not. Undeniably potatoes, chicken, watermelon are all good foods.
It's the presumption that's just what you feed a black person. Like a new pet you got and are unsure of it's diet. Black people are above all, people. Imagine having an asian festival and only serving rice, or meatballs to Italians, lox and bagels to Jewish people. Sure those things are good but people aren't a stereotype. Jewish people like Chinese food, everybody likes pizza, Italians eat burgers. The question here is were they feeding people or feeding the stereotype stamped into their minds by their narrow world view? If you as an Irish person went to an event and everything was potatoes and Guinness might that not seem a bit presumptuous to you?
|
[
"If I was a student I would just want to get rid of Aramark for the food. My grade school used them and it always tasted like shit.",
">\n\nWhen I first started working at my school the food was actually “decent” they made staff lunches and most teachers would get it almost every day. The food the kids got was pretty standard school food, but it was fine. Then Aramark came in. No more staff lunches and while we are certainly allowed to buy food from the student line, I don’t know a single adult that would. It’s pretty awful. \nHowever you know Aramark’s food sucks, but the contract the school signed is also super restrictive. Home economics teachers have a hard time ordering ingredients since all food purchases must go through Aramark. The school guarantees a certain number of days where lunch is served so all half days must have lunch even if the timing makes no sense. It even restricts how we handle emergency closures. Of course now the district doesn’t have to give any benefits to underpaid “lunch ladies” so it will never go away.",
">\n\nMy wife tried to be friendly with the trustees and she was effectively run out of the job for acting like they are human beings deserving of even the basics of human decency. This was in a prison though... Not sure about their school side 🤔\nYou cannot have a kind heart and work for Aramark, apparently.",
">\n\nSchool side and prison side are probably the same side.",
">\n\nWhen my campus had them the truck's next stop after us was San Quentin prison. \nThen we changed to a cheaper food supplier :(",
">\n\nThey reportedly were serving maggot and rat infested meals in Detroit prisons, as well as food taken out of the trash. You guys made the correct choice.",
">\n\nWe’re having homemade fried catfish, instant grits, collard greens, fried breaded okra and some black eyed peas for dinner and we always have enough for company!",
">\n\nNo self respecting southerner eats instant grits",
">\n\nSo how many minutes would it take to make your grits? Well perhaps the laws of physics cease to exist on your stove! Were these magic grits? I mean, did you buy them from the same guy who sold Jack his beanstalk beans?!",
">\n\nI love how any line from the movie I can hear in whoever's voice, with the exact ~~annunciation~~ enunciation and inflection.\nEdit - I no spell good.",
">\n\nThe two yoots",
">\n\nDid you say yoot?\nWhat is a yoot?",
">\n\nOh... excuse me your honor... two y o u u u t h h z z...",
">\n\nIs it possible the two defendant's...",
">\n\nPlease take this the right way. I mean this with a good heart. What would be a good menu to celebrate black heritage that wouldn't be offensive?",
">\n\nThe first thing I clicked on had fried chicken as an entree and watermelon salad as a side.",
">\n\nCause they're fucking delicious tbh. Like dude, they didn't just eat it because it was the only thing available, they ate it because it was decent good for cheap AND frying chicken is AMAZING.",
">\n\nOne of the best meals of my life was eaten in New Orleans at some lunch Buffett I found off the beaten path. I had about 7 pieces of fried chicken.",
">\n\nI literally just added stuff to make fried chicken to my instacart. Alas watermelons aren't available right now but holy shit I can't wait for a meal of fried chicken next week rofl. Prolly going cantaloupe",
">\n\nFor Cinco de Mayo, serve me tacos with a side of rice and beans. I’m Mexican American. I DO eat that and often",
">\n\nBack in the day. The mental institutions used to grow food and feed the institution. They would sell excess food to the prisons. The money received would help fund the hospital. The patients there had a job and responsibilities, giving them a sense of purpose.\nNow we have neither mental health care or home grown food. Instead we have Aramark.",
">\n\nThis sort of thing should be a teaching moment, though. Everyone eats food, so the history of food is really just... history, but through a lens that everyone can identify with.\nWatermelon was a staple crop among the freed slaves in the post-Civil War years due to being fast-growing, readily portable, and usable without infrastructure-intensive processing. That black people flocked to grow it didn't escape notice, and a whole bunch of negative stereotypes showed up almost immediately. Fried chicken, similar story. It first showed up in American in the first third of the nineteenth century, but took off after the war where it combined some Scottish frying techniques with West African seasoning styles.\nIt's okay to have a stereotypical food as part of a history month, because stereotypes are part of history, and we should examine them. It's critical to make it about the knowledge, though, and not \"oh lol yeah black people like watermelon, we'll do that.\"",
">\n\nEhh... yes and no.\nYou're right: this is a teachable moment. Stereotypes exist, and frankly we should be teaching kids about stereotypes with an eye for identifying harmful ones and not perpetuating them, while also identifying legitimate aspects of culture, and even how a thing can be both of those things depending on the context.\nBut serving stereotypes for lunch isn't the right context when you're cramming stereotypes in. Chicken and waffles? Sure. But maybe with a side of biscuits, or okra, or any number of other soul-food items that are more legitimate than stereotypical. Watermelon? Same thing, but maybe with a culturally relevant main that's not a raging stereotype.\nIt's the context that matters here. This is the school-lunch equivalent of Gabriel Iglesias' racist gift basket, except not done as a joke between good friends. It's not that any of the items are offensive in and of themselves, it's that when grouped together like that it's clearly an insensitive racial message, not an educational cultural one.",
">\n\nI'm gonna be fucking PISSED if someone serves me birthday cake for my next birthday. That shit is SO STEREOTYPICAL.",
">\n\nThat's really not a great analogy at all. \nFirst--serving birthday cake at a birthday party actually is a cultural thing. So, when living in that culture, it's not a negative stereotype, just a cultural trait.\nSecond--in some hypothetical future society where kids are being taught about US culture around the turn of the millennium, serving birthday cake at a mock birthday party would be actually teaching the kids about that culture through participation in what amounts to a cultural ritual. \nYou'd have to frame it as \"hurr durr, look at me, I'm a white guy, I'm eating birthday cake and and saltine crackers and a hot-dog aspic, now I'm going to put some mild hot sauce on a chicken wing and complain about it being too spicy\" for it to be offensive. Much like \"I'm eating what black people eat, look, fried chicken and watermelon.\"",
">\n\nI think it would be fine if the food was a part of a history lesson and taught kids that yes, these foods were stigmatized (despite being delicious). Ofcourse you couldn't even have that discussion in Texas or Florida.\nA little girl has a crush on my son,.and missed his birthday party. So she got her parents to throw my son a second birthday party. They asked me what my son's favorite food was, and besides bagel and lox, his favorite was fried chicken and watermelon (he has a summer birthday btw).\nFor years my sister refused to eat watermelon and friend chicken, around non black people because she felt like she was playing into the stereotype. So she was not happy that I told that family, what my son's favorite food was. \nWatermelon is a delicious healthy fruit, that's fun to eat, and I don't think we should let the next generation continue to be afraid of the stereotype. Especially because it's just fucking ridiculous. So they used to call watermelon's n-word apples. So fucking what.",
">\n\nWe've gotta just let comedians guide us through this shit. Dave Chapelle already did that a decade ago when he talked about fried and chicken and watermelon.\nIn the end it was like: \"Who the fuck doesn't like fried chicken and watermelon?\" And that's true, most people love it.\nI agree with you completely. We gotta get past this stuff soon, it's really fucking up these most recent generations who don't realize how much better things got over the past few decades regarding racism. I feel like a lot of it is being undone now because people are tired of having to defend themselves in every direction.",
">\n\nI really don't think its gotten any better, in fact its gotten worse, with law makers passing laws to attack segments of the population they want to oppress.",
">\n\nThe trajectory has been bumpy for sure. I certainly feel racism is much less an issue today than it was in the 60's for example. That said, I also feel racism is worse today than it was 10-15 years ago. It's subjective.",
">\n\nthere is so much less racism in society today, but many more things are considered racist by default depending on the ethnicity of the group in question. celebratory if done by the ethnicity that’s being celebrated or another minority, performative or racist if done by white. side effects of social media and resegregation efforts tbh",
">\n\nWay less of the racism that was fought against, but new racism has popped up in its place. Much of it also comes from the side most opposed to racism, which is hilariously ironic. Then there is the divide. Despite the fact there is less racism, many people actually think it is a bigger problem than ever.\nI don't know what to do about it, I just know I am sick of it and so are plenty of others. I'd love to see the pendulum arrive to its rightful place: judge people for who they are, not what they look like.",
">\n\nComments about this make me think the watermelon stereotype isn't as prevalent as it was when I was growing up. But TLDR for anyone unaware of it, it's a Reconstruction era racism that black people had no higher ambitions than a farm animal that wants to be fed its favourite snack like a good boy.",
">\n\nBlack farmers were making money off of chicken and watermelon. White ppl made them feel guilt for being good at things they could commercialized, black farmer could get into with not much capital.",
">\n\nSame with salt. For eons the stereotype was that black ppl put to much salt on everything and ate foods high in sodium and sugar and saturated fat. Now the new cliche is black ppl proclaiming that white people dont season their food or that white peoples cooking is bland and that healthy eating should be ridiculed. Black ppl created and innovated something of their own and then here comes mainstream society to try and twist it around into a criticism of the black community.",
">\n\npretty sure the Chinese or Romans harvested salt first",
">\n\nGood tasting food in the US is the result of Black America’s influence on cooking post reconstruction.",
">\n\nIm not arguing that black Americans didn't improve food (they did), just the literal origin of salt aha",
">\n\nAramark is a reprehensible company. They do not care.",
">\n\nAt a certain point, it's not a mistake.",
">\n\nWow serving culturally relevant food during a cultural festival what a crazy controversial idea I can’t believe they did this wow.\nAmerica is devouring itself.\nEdit: To people saying racist people satirize black people eating fried chicken and watermelon. I know, no shit racist people satirize every food of every ethnicity. That doesn't make it racist for people to eat that food or serve it at a cultural festival.",
">\n\nThe first two are fine. But there's always been a problematic relationship with associating fried chicken and African Americans.",
">\n\nThere is no problem with being associated with fried chicken . That just doesn't make sense. Every race or country of people has some sort of food stereotype.",
">\n\nIt's the historical depictions that make it at issue. Do a little googling you'll find bug eyed big lipped images/cartoons of black people with watermelon and broken servile English. Yassuh boss, nossuh, ion know boss. Everyone eats watermelon now but it used to be a garbage food along with a lot of other \"traditional \" black food. Only worthy of feeding the slaves while the white people considered it beneath them. So yes that food stereotype exists but it wasn't by choice, it was forced upon people and then used as a mockery of who they were.",
">\n\nEvery culture has had its food of choice used against it.\nThere are tonnes of old magazines depicting the Irish as literal potato eating monkeys (yes, monkeys), will that stop me, an Irish person, from eating or feeling bad eating Irish potatoes, fuck no, those pricks can go fuck themselves, I'll eat a potato if I want to eat a potato.\nI won't give them or their shit a second thought."
] |
>
Honestly, and I really mean this honestly: yes it is presumptuous, but no, it is not offensive. I say this from a position of experience, I've gone to lots of events like this in high end spots and low effort locales. Some have nailed it and some have not, but I was never offended, I just put it down to normal sloppiness or, if done well, class.
High end Italian events will have high end Italian cultural execution and low effort Italian events will have slightly lazy Italian cultural execution, this is just how it plays out in every other circumstance.
Black history month, if it takes off outside the US, or if it develops more within the US, will grow like this.
|
[
"If I was a student I would just want to get rid of Aramark for the food. My grade school used them and it always tasted like shit.",
">\n\nWhen I first started working at my school the food was actually “decent” they made staff lunches and most teachers would get it almost every day. The food the kids got was pretty standard school food, but it was fine. Then Aramark came in. No more staff lunches and while we are certainly allowed to buy food from the student line, I don’t know a single adult that would. It’s pretty awful. \nHowever you know Aramark’s food sucks, but the contract the school signed is also super restrictive. Home economics teachers have a hard time ordering ingredients since all food purchases must go through Aramark. The school guarantees a certain number of days where lunch is served so all half days must have lunch even if the timing makes no sense. It even restricts how we handle emergency closures. Of course now the district doesn’t have to give any benefits to underpaid “lunch ladies” so it will never go away.",
">\n\nMy wife tried to be friendly with the trustees and she was effectively run out of the job for acting like they are human beings deserving of even the basics of human decency. This was in a prison though... Not sure about their school side 🤔\nYou cannot have a kind heart and work for Aramark, apparently.",
">\n\nSchool side and prison side are probably the same side.",
">\n\nWhen my campus had them the truck's next stop after us was San Quentin prison. \nThen we changed to a cheaper food supplier :(",
">\n\nThey reportedly were serving maggot and rat infested meals in Detroit prisons, as well as food taken out of the trash. You guys made the correct choice.",
">\n\nWe’re having homemade fried catfish, instant grits, collard greens, fried breaded okra and some black eyed peas for dinner and we always have enough for company!",
">\n\nNo self respecting southerner eats instant grits",
">\n\nSo how many minutes would it take to make your grits? Well perhaps the laws of physics cease to exist on your stove! Were these magic grits? I mean, did you buy them from the same guy who sold Jack his beanstalk beans?!",
">\n\nI love how any line from the movie I can hear in whoever's voice, with the exact ~~annunciation~~ enunciation and inflection.\nEdit - I no spell good.",
">\n\nThe two yoots",
">\n\nDid you say yoot?\nWhat is a yoot?",
">\n\nOh... excuse me your honor... two y o u u u t h h z z...",
">\n\nIs it possible the two defendant's...",
">\n\nPlease take this the right way. I mean this with a good heart. What would be a good menu to celebrate black heritage that wouldn't be offensive?",
">\n\nThe first thing I clicked on had fried chicken as an entree and watermelon salad as a side.",
">\n\nCause they're fucking delicious tbh. Like dude, they didn't just eat it because it was the only thing available, they ate it because it was decent good for cheap AND frying chicken is AMAZING.",
">\n\nOne of the best meals of my life was eaten in New Orleans at some lunch Buffett I found off the beaten path. I had about 7 pieces of fried chicken.",
">\n\nI literally just added stuff to make fried chicken to my instacart. Alas watermelons aren't available right now but holy shit I can't wait for a meal of fried chicken next week rofl. Prolly going cantaloupe",
">\n\nFor Cinco de Mayo, serve me tacos with a side of rice and beans. I’m Mexican American. I DO eat that and often",
">\n\nBack in the day. The mental institutions used to grow food and feed the institution. They would sell excess food to the prisons. The money received would help fund the hospital. The patients there had a job and responsibilities, giving them a sense of purpose.\nNow we have neither mental health care or home grown food. Instead we have Aramark.",
">\n\nThis sort of thing should be a teaching moment, though. Everyone eats food, so the history of food is really just... history, but through a lens that everyone can identify with.\nWatermelon was a staple crop among the freed slaves in the post-Civil War years due to being fast-growing, readily portable, and usable without infrastructure-intensive processing. That black people flocked to grow it didn't escape notice, and a whole bunch of negative stereotypes showed up almost immediately. Fried chicken, similar story. It first showed up in American in the first third of the nineteenth century, but took off after the war where it combined some Scottish frying techniques with West African seasoning styles.\nIt's okay to have a stereotypical food as part of a history month, because stereotypes are part of history, and we should examine them. It's critical to make it about the knowledge, though, and not \"oh lol yeah black people like watermelon, we'll do that.\"",
">\n\nEhh... yes and no.\nYou're right: this is a teachable moment. Stereotypes exist, and frankly we should be teaching kids about stereotypes with an eye for identifying harmful ones and not perpetuating them, while also identifying legitimate aspects of culture, and even how a thing can be both of those things depending on the context.\nBut serving stereotypes for lunch isn't the right context when you're cramming stereotypes in. Chicken and waffles? Sure. But maybe with a side of biscuits, or okra, or any number of other soul-food items that are more legitimate than stereotypical. Watermelon? Same thing, but maybe with a culturally relevant main that's not a raging stereotype.\nIt's the context that matters here. This is the school-lunch equivalent of Gabriel Iglesias' racist gift basket, except not done as a joke between good friends. It's not that any of the items are offensive in and of themselves, it's that when grouped together like that it's clearly an insensitive racial message, not an educational cultural one.",
">\n\nI'm gonna be fucking PISSED if someone serves me birthday cake for my next birthday. That shit is SO STEREOTYPICAL.",
">\n\nThat's really not a great analogy at all. \nFirst--serving birthday cake at a birthday party actually is a cultural thing. So, when living in that culture, it's not a negative stereotype, just a cultural trait.\nSecond--in some hypothetical future society where kids are being taught about US culture around the turn of the millennium, serving birthday cake at a mock birthday party would be actually teaching the kids about that culture through participation in what amounts to a cultural ritual. \nYou'd have to frame it as \"hurr durr, look at me, I'm a white guy, I'm eating birthday cake and and saltine crackers and a hot-dog aspic, now I'm going to put some mild hot sauce on a chicken wing and complain about it being too spicy\" for it to be offensive. Much like \"I'm eating what black people eat, look, fried chicken and watermelon.\"",
">\n\nI think it would be fine if the food was a part of a history lesson and taught kids that yes, these foods were stigmatized (despite being delicious). Ofcourse you couldn't even have that discussion in Texas or Florida.\nA little girl has a crush on my son,.and missed his birthday party. So she got her parents to throw my son a second birthday party. They asked me what my son's favorite food was, and besides bagel and lox, his favorite was fried chicken and watermelon (he has a summer birthday btw).\nFor years my sister refused to eat watermelon and friend chicken, around non black people because she felt like she was playing into the stereotype. So she was not happy that I told that family, what my son's favorite food was. \nWatermelon is a delicious healthy fruit, that's fun to eat, and I don't think we should let the next generation continue to be afraid of the stereotype. Especially because it's just fucking ridiculous. So they used to call watermelon's n-word apples. So fucking what.",
">\n\nWe've gotta just let comedians guide us through this shit. Dave Chapelle already did that a decade ago when he talked about fried and chicken and watermelon.\nIn the end it was like: \"Who the fuck doesn't like fried chicken and watermelon?\" And that's true, most people love it.\nI agree with you completely. We gotta get past this stuff soon, it's really fucking up these most recent generations who don't realize how much better things got over the past few decades regarding racism. I feel like a lot of it is being undone now because people are tired of having to defend themselves in every direction.",
">\n\nI really don't think its gotten any better, in fact its gotten worse, with law makers passing laws to attack segments of the population they want to oppress.",
">\n\nThe trajectory has been bumpy for sure. I certainly feel racism is much less an issue today than it was in the 60's for example. That said, I also feel racism is worse today than it was 10-15 years ago. It's subjective.",
">\n\nthere is so much less racism in society today, but many more things are considered racist by default depending on the ethnicity of the group in question. celebratory if done by the ethnicity that’s being celebrated or another minority, performative or racist if done by white. side effects of social media and resegregation efforts tbh",
">\n\nWay less of the racism that was fought against, but new racism has popped up in its place. Much of it also comes from the side most opposed to racism, which is hilariously ironic. Then there is the divide. Despite the fact there is less racism, many people actually think it is a bigger problem than ever.\nI don't know what to do about it, I just know I am sick of it and so are plenty of others. I'd love to see the pendulum arrive to its rightful place: judge people for who they are, not what they look like.",
">\n\nComments about this make me think the watermelon stereotype isn't as prevalent as it was when I was growing up. But TLDR for anyone unaware of it, it's a Reconstruction era racism that black people had no higher ambitions than a farm animal that wants to be fed its favourite snack like a good boy.",
">\n\nBlack farmers were making money off of chicken and watermelon. White ppl made them feel guilt for being good at things they could commercialized, black farmer could get into with not much capital.",
">\n\nSame with salt. For eons the stereotype was that black ppl put to much salt on everything and ate foods high in sodium and sugar and saturated fat. Now the new cliche is black ppl proclaiming that white people dont season their food or that white peoples cooking is bland and that healthy eating should be ridiculed. Black ppl created and innovated something of their own and then here comes mainstream society to try and twist it around into a criticism of the black community.",
">\n\npretty sure the Chinese or Romans harvested salt first",
">\n\nGood tasting food in the US is the result of Black America’s influence on cooking post reconstruction.",
">\n\nIm not arguing that black Americans didn't improve food (they did), just the literal origin of salt aha",
">\n\nAramark is a reprehensible company. They do not care.",
">\n\nAt a certain point, it's not a mistake.",
">\n\nWow serving culturally relevant food during a cultural festival what a crazy controversial idea I can’t believe they did this wow.\nAmerica is devouring itself.\nEdit: To people saying racist people satirize black people eating fried chicken and watermelon. I know, no shit racist people satirize every food of every ethnicity. That doesn't make it racist for people to eat that food or serve it at a cultural festival.",
">\n\nThe first two are fine. But there's always been a problematic relationship with associating fried chicken and African Americans.",
">\n\nThere is no problem with being associated with fried chicken . That just doesn't make sense. Every race or country of people has some sort of food stereotype.",
">\n\nIt's the historical depictions that make it at issue. Do a little googling you'll find bug eyed big lipped images/cartoons of black people with watermelon and broken servile English. Yassuh boss, nossuh, ion know boss. Everyone eats watermelon now but it used to be a garbage food along with a lot of other \"traditional \" black food. Only worthy of feeding the slaves while the white people considered it beneath them. So yes that food stereotype exists but it wasn't by choice, it was forced upon people and then used as a mockery of who they were.",
">\n\nEvery culture has had its food of choice used against it.\nThere are tonnes of old magazines depicting the Irish as literal potato eating monkeys (yes, monkeys), will that stop me, an Irish person, from eating or feeling bad eating Irish potatoes, fuck no, those pricks can go fuck themselves, I'll eat a potato if I want to eat a potato.\nI won't give them or their shit a second thought.",
">\n\nThe point being it wasn't their food of choice. It was given as slops unworthy to feed those above them and then used to mock them. The Irish had a spell of similar harassment yes I'd agree. There was a time when they weren't allowed in various establishments. That period was relatively small in comparison though. However it's not even about whether it's good or not. Undeniably potatoes, chicken, watermelon are all good foods. \n It's the presumption that's just what you feed a black person. Like a new pet you got and are unsure of it's diet. Black people are above all, people. Imagine having an asian festival and only serving rice, or meatballs to Italians, lox and bagels to Jewish people. Sure those things are good but people aren't a stereotype. Jewish people like Chinese food, everybody likes pizza, Italians eat burgers. The question here is were they feeding people or feeding the stereotype stamped into their minds by their narrow world view? If you as an Irish person went to an event and everything was potatoes and Guinness might that not seem a bit presumptuous to you?"
] |
>
Even a low end execution in this case would be burgers and hot dogs. Those specific items in combination are just not acceptable simply because they have been weaponized as a denigration against a particular people.
Shott story time, I'm a biker also I'm black. On a ride with friends who weren't of my perpetual tan, we stop at a place to cool off it's close to 100 degrees outside. We walk in and the woman behind the bar had just finished cutting a huge tray of watermelon. She absolutely lit up when we walked in and loudly announced they had watermelon with a rather strange emphasis on the word. That tone when you're trying to get a kid excited about something. Anyway, they were serving it to the people who were already there and anybody who walked in. No big deal right? Except in this case she was laser focused on me, ignoring the 4 other people who walked in with me. In her mind she absolutely knows this dark skinned guy is going to be all over this damned watermelon. She handed me the whole tray she just cut and said find a seat.
Lest you think I'm sensitive here my friends were doing their best not to laugh at me because of how obviously focused she was on making sure that I in particular got some watermelon. They couldn't hold it in once we got to the table and at this point it's something we laugh about. So, is the watermelon itself a bad thing, no. It's hot out it cools you down and tastes good. Is the fact that she ignored 4 white people to hand the tray to the black guy? Well that's where it gets a bit questionable. That's the fine distinction in this meal choice. Feeding a stereotypical idea of who they imagine a people are defined by.
|
[
"If I was a student I would just want to get rid of Aramark for the food. My grade school used them and it always tasted like shit.",
">\n\nWhen I first started working at my school the food was actually “decent” they made staff lunches and most teachers would get it almost every day. The food the kids got was pretty standard school food, but it was fine. Then Aramark came in. No more staff lunches and while we are certainly allowed to buy food from the student line, I don’t know a single adult that would. It’s pretty awful. \nHowever you know Aramark’s food sucks, but the contract the school signed is also super restrictive. Home economics teachers have a hard time ordering ingredients since all food purchases must go through Aramark. The school guarantees a certain number of days where lunch is served so all half days must have lunch even if the timing makes no sense. It even restricts how we handle emergency closures. Of course now the district doesn’t have to give any benefits to underpaid “lunch ladies” so it will never go away.",
">\n\nMy wife tried to be friendly with the trustees and she was effectively run out of the job for acting like they are human beings deserving of even the basics of human decency. This was in a prison though... Not sure about their school side 🤔\nYou cannot have a kind heart and work for Aramark, apparently.",
">\n\nSchool side and prison side are probably the same side.",
">\n\nWhen my campus had them the truck's next stop after us was San Quentin prison. \nThen we changed to a cheaper food supplier :(",
">\n\nThey reportedly were serving maggot and rat infested meals in Detroit prisons, as well as food taken out of the trash. You guys made the correct choice.",
">\n\nWe’re having homemade fried catfish, instant grits, collard greens, fried breaded okra and some black eyed peas for dinner and we always have enough for company!",
">\n\nNo self respecting southerner eats instant grits",
">\n\nSo how many minutes would it take to make your grits? Well perhaps the laws of physics cease to exist on your stove! Were these magic grits? I mean, did you buy them from the same guy who sold Jack his beanstalk beans?!",
">\n\nI love how any line from the movie I can hear in whoever's voice, with the exact ~~annunciation~~ enunciation and inflection.\nEdit - I no spell good.",
">\n\nThe two yoots",
">\n\nDid you say yoot?\nWhat is a yoot?",
">\n\nOh... excuse me your honor... two y o u u u t h h z z...",
">\n\nIs it possible the two defendant's...",
">\n\nPlease take this the right way. I mean this with a good heart. What would be a good menu to celebrate black heritage that wouldn't be offensive?",
">\n\nThe first thing I clicked on had fried chicken as an entree and watermelon salad as a side.",
">\n\nCause they're fucking delicious tbh. Like dude, they didn't just eat it because it was the only thing available, they ate it because it was decent good for cheap AND frying chicken is AMAZING.",
">\n\nOne of the best meals of my life was eaten in New Orleans at some lunch Buffett I found off the beaten path. I had about 7 pieces of fried chicken.",
">\n\nI literally just added stuff to make fried chicken to my instacart. Alas watermelons aren't available right now but holy shit I can't wait for a meal of fried chicken next week rofl. Prolly going cantaloupe",
">\n\nFor Cinco de Mayo, serve me tacos with a side of rice and beans. I’m Mexican American. I DO eat that and often",
">\n\nBack in the day. The mental institutions used to grow food and feed the institution. They would sell excess food to the prisons. The money received would help fund the hospital. The patients there had a job and responsibilities, giving them a sense of purpose.\nNow we have neither mental health care or home grown food. Instead we have Aramark.",
">\n\nThis sort of thing should be a teaching moment, though. Everyone eats food, so the history of food is really just... history, but through a lens that everyone can identify with.\nWatermelon was a staple crop among the freed slaves in the post-Civil War years due to being fast-growing, readily portable, and usable without infrastructure-intensive processing. That black people flocked to grow it didn't escape notice, and a whole bunch of negative stereotypes showed up almost immediately. Fried chicken, similar story. It first showed up in American in the first third of the nineteenth century, but took off after the war where it combined some Scottish frying techniques with West African seasoning styles.\nIt's okay to have a stereotypical food as part of a history month, because stereotypes are part of history, and we should examine them. It's critical to make it about the knowledge, though, and not \"oh lol yeah black people like watermelon, we'll do that.\"",
">\n\nEhh... yes and no.\nYou're right: this is a teachable moment. Stereotypes exist, and frankly we should be teaching kids about stereotypes with an eye for identifying harmful ones and not perpetuating them, while also identifying legitimate aspects of culture, and even how a thing can be both of those things depending on the context.\nBut serving stereotypes for lunch isn't the right context when you're cramming stereotypes in. Chicken and waffles? Sure. But maybe with a side of biscuits, or okra, or any number of other soul-food items that are more legitimate than stereotypical. Watermelon? Same thing, but maybe with a culturally relevant main that's not a raging stereotype.\nIt's the context that matters here. This is the school-lunch equivalent of Gabriel Iglesias' racist gift basket, except not done as a joke between good friends. It's not that any of the items are offensive in and of themselves, it's that when grouped together like that it's clearly an insensitive racial message, not an educational cultural one.",
">\n\nI'm gonna be fucking PISSED if someone serves me birthday cake for my next birthday. That shit is SO STEREOTYPICAL.",
">\n\nThat's really not a great analogy at all. \nFirst--serving birthday cake at a birthday party actually is a cultural thing. So, when living in that culture, it's not a negative stereotype, just a cultural trait.\nSecond--in some hypothetical future society where kids are being taught about US culture around the turn of the millennium, serving birthday cake at a mock birthday party would be actually teaching the kids about that culture through participation in what amounts to a cultural ritual. \nYou'd have to frame it as \"hurr durr, look at me, I'm a white guy, I'm eating birthday cake and and saltine crackers and a hot-dog aspic, now I'm going to put some mild hot sauce on a chicken wing and complain about it being too spicy\" for it to be offensive. Much like \"I'm eating what black people eat, look, fried chicken and watermelon.\"",
">\n\nI think it would be fine if the food was a part of a history lesson and taught kids that yes, these foods were stigmatized (despite being delicious). Ofcourse you couldn't even have that discussion in Texas or Florida.\nA little girl has a crush on my son,.and missed his birthday party. So she got her parents to throw my son a second birthday party. They asked me what my son's favorite food was, and besides bagel and lox, his favorite was fried chicken and watermelon (he has a summer birthday btw).\nFor years my sister refused to eat watermelon and friend chicken, around non black people because she felt like she was playing into the stereotype. So she was not happy that I told that family, what my son's favorite food was. \nWatermelon is a delicious healthy fruit, that's fun to eat, and I don't think we should let the next generation continue to be afraid of the stereotype. Especially because it's just fucking ridiculous. So they used to call watermelon's n-word apples. So fucking what.",
">\n\nWe've gotta just let comedians guide us through this shit. Dave Chapelle already did that a decade ago when he talked about fried and chicken and watermelon.\nIn the end it was like: \"Who the fuck doesn't like fried chicken and watermelon?\" And that's true, most people love it.\nI agree with you completely. We gotta get past this stuff soon, it's really fucking up these most recent generations who don't realize how much better things got over the past few decades regarding racism. I feel like a lot of it is being undone now because people are tired of having to defend themselves in every direction.",
">\n\nI really don't think its gotten any better, in fact its gotten worse, with law makers passing laws to attack segments of the population they want to oppress.",
">\n\nThe trajectory has been bumpy for sure. I certainly feel racism is much less an issue today than it was in the 60's for example. That said, I also feel racism is worse today than it was 10-15 years ago. It's subjective.",
">\n\nthere is so much less racism in society today, but many more things are considered racist by default depending on the ethnicity of the group in question. celebratory if done by the ethnicity that’s being celebrated or another minority, performative or racist if done by white. side effects of social media and resegregation efforts tbh",
">\n\nWay less of the racism that was fought against, but new racism has popped up in its place. Much of it also comes from the side most opposed to racism, which is hilariously ironic. Then there is the divide. Despite the fact there is less racism, many people actually think it is a bigger problem than ever.\nI don't know what to do about it, I just know I am sick of it and so are plenty of others. I'd love to see the pendulum arrive to its rightful place: judge people for who they are, not what they look like.",
">\n\nComments about this make me think the watermelon stereotype isn't as prevalent as it was when I was growing up. But TLDR for anyone unaware of it, it's a Reconstruction era racism that black people had no higher ambitions than a farm animal that wants to be fed its favourite snack like a good boy.",
">\n\nBlack farmers were making money off of chicken and watermelon. White ppl made them feel guilt for being good at things they could commercialized, black farmer could get into with not much capital.",
">\n\nSame with salt. For eons the stereotype was that black ppl put to much salt on everything and ate foods high in sodium and sugar and saturated fat. Now the new cliche is black ppl proclaiming that white people dont season their food or that white peoples cooking is bland and that healthy eating should be ridiculed. Black ppl created and innovated something of their own and then here comes mainstream society to try and twist it around into a criticism of the black community.",
">\n\npretty sure the Chinese or Romans harvested salt first",
">\n\nGood tasting food in the US is the result of Black America’s influence on cooking post reconstruction.",
">\n\nIm not arguing that black Americans didn't improve food (they did), just the literal origin of salt aha",
">\n\nAramark is a reprehensible company. They do not care.",
">\n\nAt a certain point, it's not a mistake.",
">\n\nWow serving culturally relevant food during a cultural festival what a crazy controversial idea I can’t believe they did this wow.\nAmerica is devouring itself.\nEdit: To people saying racist people satirize black people eating fried chicken and watermelon. I know, no shit racist people satirize every food of every ethnicity. That doesn't make it racist for people to eat that food or serve it at a cultural festival.",
">\n\nThe first two are fine. But there's always been a problematic relationship with associating fried chicken and African Americans.",
">\n\nThere is no problem with being associated with fried chicken . That just doesn't make sense. Every race or country of people has some sort of food stereotype.",
">\n\nIt's the historical depictions that make it at issue. Do a little googling you'll find bug eyed big lipped images/cartoons of black people with watermelon and broken servile English. Yassuh boss, nossuh, ion know boss. Everyone eats watermelon now but it used to be a garbage food along with a lot of other \"traditional \" black food. Only worthy of feeding the slaves while the white people considered it beneath them. So yes that food stereotype exists but it wasn't by choice, it was forced upon people and then used as a mockery of who they were.",
">\n\nEvery culture has had its food of choice used against it.\nThere are tonnes of old magazines depicting the Irish as literal potato eating monkeys (yes, monkeys), will that stop me, an Irish person, from eating or feeling bad eating Irish potatoes, fuck no, those pricks can go fuck themselves, I'll eat a potato if I want to eat a potato.\nI won't give them or their shit a second thought.",
">\n\nThe point being it wasn't their food of choice. It was given as slops unworthy to feed those above them and then used to mock them. The Irish had a spell of similar harassment yes I'd agree. There was a time when they weren't allowed in various establishments. That period was relatively small in comparison though. However it's not even about whether it's good or not. Undeniably potatoes, chicken, watermelon are all good foods. \n It's the presumption that's just what you feed a black person. Like a new pet you got and are unsure of it's diet. Black people are above all, people. Imagine having an asian festival and only serving rice, or meatballs to Italians, lox and bagels to Jewish people. Sure those things are good but people aren't a stereotype. Jewish people like Chinese food, everybody likes pizza, Italians eat burgers. The question here is were they feeding people or feeding the stereotype stamped into their minds by their narrow world view? If you as an Irish person went to an event and everything was potatoes and Guinness might that not seem a bit presumptuous to you?",
">\n\nHonestly, and I really mean this honestly: yes it is presumptuous, but no, it is not offensive. I say this from a position of experience, I've gone to lots of events like this in high end spots and low effort locales. Some have nailed it and some have not, but I was never offended, I just put it down to normal sloppiness or, if done well, class.\nHigh end Italian events will have high end Italian cultural execution and low effort Italian events will have slightly lazy Italian cultural execution, this is just how it plays out in every other circumstance.\nBlack history month, if it takes off outside the US, or if it develops more within the US, will grow like this."
] |
>
"This year it will work. Trust me."
|
[
"If I was a student I would just want to get rid of Aramark for the food. My grade school used them and it always tasted like shit.",
">\n\nWhen I first started working at my school the food was actually “decent” they made staff lunches and most teachers would get it almost every day. The food the kids got was pretty standard school food, but it was fine. Then Aramark came in. No more staff lunches and while we are certainly allowed to buy food from the student line, I don’t know a single adult that would. It’s pretty awful. \nHowever you know Aramark’s food sucks, but the contract the school signed is also super restrictive. Home economics teachers have a hard time ordering ingredients since all food purchases must go through Aramark. The school guarantees a certain number of days where lunch is served so all half days must have lunch even if the timing makes no sense. It even restricts how we handle emergency closures. Of course now the district doesn’t have to give any benefits to underpaid “lunch ladies” so it will never go away.",
">\n\nMy wife tried to be friendly with the trustees and she was effectively run out of the job for acting like they are human beings deserving of even the basics of human decency. This was in a prison though... Not sure about their school side 🤔\nYou cannot have a kind heart and work for Aramark, apparently.",
">\n\nSchool side and prison side are probably the same side.",
">\n\nWhen my campus had them the truck's next stop after us was San Quentin prison. \nThen we changed to a cheaper food supplier :(",
">\n\nThey reportedly were serving maggot and rat infested meals in Detroit prisons, as well as food taken out of the trash. You guys made the correct choice.",
">\n\nWe’re having homemade fried catfish, instant grits, collard greens, fried breaded okra and some black eyed peas for dinner and we always have enough for company!",
">\n\nNo self respecting southerner eats instant grits",
">\n\nSo how many minutes would it take to make your grits? Well perhaps the laws of physics cease to exist on your stove! Were these magic grits? I mean, did you buy them from the same guy who sold Jack his beanstalk beans?!",
">\n\nI love how any line from the movie I can hear in whoever's voice, with the exact ~~annunciation~~ enunciation and inflection.\nEdit - I no spell good.",
">\n\nThe two yoots",
">\n\nDid you say yoot?\nWhat is a yoot?",
">\n\nOh... excuse me your honor... two y o u u u t h h z z...",
">\n\nIs it possible the two defendant's...",
">\n\nPlease take this the right way. I mean this with a good heart. What would be a good menu to celebrate black heritage that wouldn't be offensive?",
">\n\nThe first thing I clicked on had fried chicken as an entree and watermelon salad as a side.",
">\n\nCause they're fucking delicious tbh. Like dude, they didn't just eat it because it was the only thing available, they ate it because it was decent good for cheap AND frying chicken is AMAZING.",
">\n\nOne of the best meals of my life was eaten in New Orleans at some lunch Buffett I found off the beaten path. I had about 7 pieces of fried chicken.",
">\n\nI literally just added stuff to make fried chicken to my instacart. Alas watermelons aren't available right now but holy shit I can't wait for a meal of fried chicken next week rofl. Prolly going cantaloupe",
">\n\nFor Cinco de Mayo, serve me tacos with a side of rice and beans. I’m Mexican American. I DO eat that and often",
">\n\nBack in the day. The mental institutions used to grow food and feed the institution. They would sell excess food to the prisons. The money received would help fund the hospital. The patients there had a job and responsibilities, giving them a sense of purpose.\nNow we have neither mental health care or home grown food. Instead we have Aramark.",
">\n\nThis sort of thing should be a teaching moment, though. Everyone eats food, so the history of food is really just... history, but through a lens that everyone can identify with.\nWatermelon was a staple crop among the freed slaves in the post-Civil War years due to being fast-growing, readily portable, and usable without infrastructure-intensive processing. That black people flocked to grow it didn't escape notice, and a whole bunch of negative stereotypes showed up almost immediately. Fried chicken, similar story. It first showed up in American in the first third of the nineteenth century, but took off after the war where it combined some Scottish frying techniques with West African seasoning styles.\nIt's okay to have a stereotypical food as part of a history month, because stereotypes are part of history, and we should examine them. It's critical to make it about the knowledge, though, and not \"oh lol yeah black people like watermelon, we'll do that.\"",
">\n\nEhh... yes and no.\nYou're right: this is a teachable moment. Stereotypes exist, and frankly we should be teaching kids about stereotypes with an eye for identifying harmful ones and not perpetuating them, while also identifying legitimate aspects of culture, and even how a thing can be both of those things depending on the context.\nBut serving stereotypes for lunch isn't the right context when you're cramming stereotypes in. Chicken and waffles? Sure. But maybe with a side of biscuits, or okra, or any number of other soul-food items that are more legitimate than stereotypical. Watermelon? Same thing, but maybe with a culturally relevant main that's not a raging stereotype.\nIt's the context that matters here. This is the school-lunch equivalent of Gabriel Iglesias' racist gift basket, except not done as a joke between good friends. It's not that any of the items are offensive in and of themselves, it's that when grouped together like that it's clearly an insensitive racial message, not an educational cultural one.",
">\n\nI'm gonna be fucking PISSED if someone serves me birthday cake for my next birthday. That shit is SO STEREOTYPICAL.",
">\n\nThat's really not a great analogy at all. \nFirst--serving birthday cake at a birthday party actually is a cultural thing. So, when living in that culture, it's not a negative stereotype, just a cultural trait.\nSecond--in some hypothetical future society where kids are being taught about US culture around the turn of the millennium, serving birthday cake at a mock birthday party would be actually teaching the kids about that culture through participation in what amounts to a cultural ritual. \nYou'd have to frame it as \"hurr durr, look at me, I'm a white guy, I'm eating birthday cake and and saltine crackers and a hot-dog aspic, now I'm going to put some mild hot sauce on a chicken wing and complain about it being too spicy\" for it to be offensive. Much like \"I'm eating what black people eat, look, fried chicken and watermelon.\"",
">\n\nI think it would be fine if the food was a part of a history lesson and taught kids that yes, these foods were stigmatized (despite being delicious). Ofcourse you couldn't even have that discussion in Texas or Florida.\nA little girl has a crush on my son,.and missed his birthday party. So she got her parents to throw my son a second birthday party. They asked me what my son's favorite food was, and besides bagel and lox, his favorite was fried chicken and watermelon (he has a summer birthday btw).\nFor years my sister refused to eat watermelon and friend chicken, around non black people because she felt like she was playing into the stereotype. So she was not happy that I told that family, what my son's favorite food was. \nWatermelon is a delicious healthy fruit, that's fun to eat, and I don't think we should let the next generation continue to be afraid of the stereotype. Especially because it's just fucking ridiculous. So they used to call watermelon's n-word apples. So fucking what.",
">\n\nWe've gotta just let comedians guide us through this shit. Dave Chapelle already did that a decade ago when he talked about fried and chicken and watermelon.\nIn the end it was like: \"Who the fuck doesn't like fried chicken and watermelon?\" And that's true, most people love it.\nI agree with you completely. We gotta get past this stuff soon, it's really fucking up these most recent generations who don't realize how much better things got over the past few decades regarding racism. I feel like a lot of it is being undone now because people are tired of having to defend themselves in every direction.",
">\n\nI really don't think its gotten any better, in fact its gotten worse, with law makers passing laws to attack segments of the population they want to oppress.",
">\n\nThe trajectory has been bumpy for sure. I certainly feel racism is much less an issue today than it was in the 60's for example. That said, I also feel racism is worse today than it was 10-15 years ago. It's subjective.",
">\n\nthere is so much less racism in society today, but many more things are considered racist by default depending on the ethnicity of the group in question. celebratory if done by the ethnicity that’s being celebrated or another minority, performative or racist if done by white. side effects of social media and resegregation efforts tbh",
">\n\nWay less of the racism that was fought against, but new racism has popped up in its place. Much of it also comes from the side most opposed to racism, which is hilariously ironic. Then there is the divide. Despite the fact there is less racism, many people actually think it is a bigger problem than ever.\nI don't know what to do about it, I just know I am sick of it and so are plenty of others. I'd love to see the pendulum arrive to its rightful place: judge people for who they are, not what they look like.",
">\n\nComments about this make me think the watermelon stereotype isn't as prevalent as it was when I was growing up. But TLDR for anyone unaware of it, it's a Reconstruction era racism that black people had no higher ambitions than a farm animal that wants to be fed its favourite snack like a good boy.",
">\n\nBlack farmers were making money off of chicken and watermelon. White ppl made them feel guilt for being good at things they could commercialized, black farmer could get into with not much capital.",
">\n\nSame with salt. For eons the stereotype was that black ppl put to much salt on everything and ate foods high in sodium and sugar and saturated fat. Now the new cliche is black ppl proclaiming that white people dont season their food or that white peoples cooking is bland and that healthy eating should be ridiculed. Black ppl created and innovated something of their own and then here comes mainstream society to try and twist it around into a criticism of the black community.",
">\n\npretty sure the Chinese or Romans harvested salt first",
">\n\nGood tasting food in the US is the result of Black America’s influence on cooking post reconstruction.",
">\n\nIm not arguing that black Americans didn't improve food (they did), just the literal origin of salt aha",
">\n\nAramark is a reprehensible company. They do not care.",
">\n\nAt a certain point, it's not a mistake.",
">\n\nWow serving culturally relevant food during a cultural festival what a crazy controversial idea I can’t believe they did this wow.\nAmerica is devouring itself.\nEdit: To people saying racist people satirize black people eating fried chicken and watermelon. I know, no shit racist people satirize every food of every ethnicity. That doesn't make it racist for people to eat that food or serve it at a cultural festival.",
">\n\nThe first two are fine. But there's always been a problematic relationship with associating fried chicken and African Americans.",
">\n\nThere is no problem with being associated with fried chicken . That just doesn't make sense. Every race or country of people has some sort of food stereotype.",
">\n\nIt's the historical depictions that make it at issue. Do a little googling you'll find bug eyed big lipped images/cartoons of black people with watermelon and broken servile English. Yassuh boss, nossuh, ion know boss. Everyone eats watermelon now but it used to be a garbage food along with a lot of other \"traditional \" black food. Only worthy of feeding the slaves while the white people considered it beneath them. So yes that food stereotype exists but it wasn't by choice, it was forced upon people and then used as a mockery of who they were.",
">\n\nEvery culture has had its food of choice used against it.\nThere are tonnes of old magazines depicting the Irish as literal potato eating monkeys (yes, monkeys), will that stop me, an Irish person, from eating or feeling bad eating Irish potatoes, fuck no, those pricks can go fuck themselves, I'll eat a potato if I want to eat a potato.\nI won't give them or their shit a second thought.",
">\n\nThe point being it wasn't their food of choice. It was given as slops unworthy to feed those above them and then used to mock them. The Irish had a spell of similar harassment yes I'd agree. There was a time when they weren't allowed in various establishments. That period was relatively small in comparison though. However it's not even about whether it's good or not. Undeniably potatoes, chicken, watermelon are all good foods. \n It's the presumption that's just what you feed a black person. Like a new pet you got and are unsure of it's diet. Black people are above all, people. Imagine having an asian festival and only serving rice, or meatballs to Italians, lox and bagels to Jewish people. Sure those things are good but people aren't a stereotype. Jewish people like Chinese food, everybody likes pizza, Italians eat burgers. The question here is were they feeding people or feeding the stereotype stamped into their minds by their narrow world view? If you as an Irish person went to an event and everything was potatoes and Guinness might that not seem a bit presumptuous to you?",
">\n\nHonestly, and I really mean this honestly: yes it is presumptuous, but no, it is not offensive. I say this from a position of experience, I've gone to lots of events like this in high end spots and low effort locales. Some have nailed it and some have not, but I was never offended, I just put it down to normal sloppiness or, if done well, class.\nHigh end Italian events will have high end Italian cultural execution and low effort Italian events will have slightly lazy Italian cultural execution, this is just how it plays out in every other circumstance.\nBlack history month, if it takes off outside the US, or if it develops more within the US, will grow like this.",
">\n\nEven a low end execution in this case would be burgers and hot dogs. Those specific items in combination are just not acceptable simply because they have been weaponized as a denigration against a particular people. \n Shott story time, I'm a biker also I'm black. On a ride with friends who weren't of my perpetual tan, we stop at a place to cool off it's close to 100 degrees outside. We walk in and the woman behind the bar had just finished cutting a huge tray of watermelon. She absolutely lit up when we walked in and loudly announced they had watermelon with a rather strange emphasis on the word. That tone when you're trying to get a kid excited about something. Anyway, they were serving it to the people who were already there and anybody who walked in. No big deal right? Except in this case she was laser focused on me, ignoring the 4 other people who walked in with me. In her mind she absolutely knows this dark skinned guy is going to be all over this damned watermelon. She handed me the whole tray she just cut and said find a seat. \n Lest you think I'm sensitive here my friends were doing their best not to laugh at me because of how obviously focused she was on making sure that I in particular got some watermelon. They couldn't hold it in once we got to the table and at this point it's something we laugh about. So, is the watermelon itself a bad thing, no. It's hot out it cools you down and tastes good. Is the fact that she ignored 4 white people to hand the tray to the black guy? Well that's where it gets a bit questionable. That's the fine distinction in this meal choice. Feeding a stereotypical idea of who they imagine a people are defined by."
] |
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