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Well Time you is simply out of the question for now
So I'll just feed them to you
Here, Take a big bite for me
Oh, what a darling you are? So good at taking direction
Oh, I'm so glad you like them
Well, tell me a little about yourself Dear
I want to know more about the person who'll be living in my basement from now on
Of course, I already know some things about you
Like your behavioral patterns, your dress, your atrocious sleep schedule, Your friends names, things of that nature
But those are the basics I needed to up you
I'd like to know more about you
Real you what inspires you, what are your hopes for the future? What's important to you? Things like that
Oh, how interesting? Really? Why that's amazing
I think we're going to get a along well
Oh, There she is
My baby girl has finally arrived
Hey
I'm home
Mom, you in the basement? Hey
I just got mom, what the fuck? Audrey
Language
We have a guest
Please forgive her sweetheart
She's just a little shocked
She doesn't usually pop off with that kind of vulgar guarantee
I wouldn't allow it
What? Why are the two of you acting like any of this is normal? Mom for real
What are you doing? I'm being serious
I get home and find you with one of my classmates tied to a chair
Are you cheating on dad? Is this some kinky sex thing? I'm not gonna any need therapy after walking in on this? Please calm down
And don't be ridiculous
I would never cheat on your father
I love him more than my own life
This isn't for me sweetheart
It's for you
The least you could do is thank me Thank you
See
That wasn't so hard
That's not what I meant
Oh my
God
You've lost it
Lost what
You're marble
Oh, don't be silly
I never had any to begin with
Mom, this is
I can't
You're I know this is a lot to take in dear
But trust me
Don't worry you're pretty little head about a thing
If you'll just sit down
I'll explain everything
Okay
I'm sitting
My mom's gone crazy, and I'm sitting beside her captive
And I am so sorry about this
Now then, for starters, Well, Remember I told you that your father and I first met at a party in college And we exchanged phone numbers and sooner or later, we talked more and more
And eventually, he invited me out to the movies
And then he asked me to be his girlfriend Yeah
You told me that story plenty of times, basically, once a week since I was in the crib
Like, you fell in love, Nature took it course blah blah blah
Now here I am
I I don't exactly like to think about the details
You know? Well, oh, that was only partially true
What do you mean which part? I did meet your dad the party, but I didn't dare ask for his phone number or even talk to him
I was such a wall flower dear
I'd of died of embarrassment trying to speak to someone as charming and handsome as your father
So I did what came naturally
I'm terrified to ask what came naturally
Nothing terrible dear
Why? I just followed him home and started well, stalking him
How is that not terrible? Because I did it out of love
Oh, I devoted every waking moment to learning all about him his schedule his legs and dislikes when he was most likely to be alone
And after about six months of that, well, unhealthy behavior, you got up the nerve to ask him out like a normal person? Oh, goodness
No
I can kidnapped him and kept him chained in the basement of my parents house
Grandpa and grandma know about this? Well, of course, Sweetheart
It's how they met too
Oh my god
Oh my god
Oh my god
I'm my oh My god
My family tree for nuts
Your father stayed with us for about five months that way
Chained up
Oh, not the entire time dear
He was perhaps a bit confused and reluctant at first
But soon enough, he was our willing guest
After all, we treated him better than his own family ever had
Loved him cared for him
You gave dad stockholm syndrome? Oh, Don't be so judgmental audrey wasn't quite like that
Your father always had his own Well, darker pro even before we met, Learning about them while I stalk him only made me love him more
How could he do anything but fall in love with me? The one person who understood and accepted him, all of him
Eventually, I only chained him up when he begged me to do it, Dear
It it was consensual