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"It's easy for me to turn one down."
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The surprising thing is that I was.
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"Good.
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My last show --"
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" --was glorious!"
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Tasha said.
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" --was kindly received,"
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" --was kindly received," he said.
1
"Oh?"
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I hoped no one would bring up my last three plays.
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No more urchins, dopers, vagrants, or whores.
3
He spoke quickly, prepared to be rejected.
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"Would you permit me to do one of you?
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I would pay --"
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"Never,"
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"Never," I said.
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"Ah."
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He shrugged lightly.
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"Nardo!"
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"It's an honor --"
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"Of course," I said.
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"That's why I cannot take payment."
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"Oh?
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Oh!
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Thank you!"
1
Malaquez turned to Tasha.
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"And you as well?
1
Perhaps the two of you together?"
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Her eyes became circles at the idea of being, as she undoubtedly thought it, immortalized by Emil Malaquez.
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There's only one city: called Nuevo Acapulco in La Enciclopedia del Empirio de la Humanidad, it's N'apulco to the locals.
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Catching herself, she said casually, "Oh..." And then she smiled, laughed loudly at herself in the way that always made me think how much I loved her, and said, "My God, yes, yes, yes!"
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"Oh..."
0
"My God, yes, yes, yes!"
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For a perfect moment, Emil and Tasha and I were one entity, laughing until our lungs hurt.
1
This is torture.
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I had not considered that I might not write to learn, but to punish myself.
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Let me abuse the playwright and dismiss the penultimate scene in a few sentences: After giving Emil full rights to a sculpture of Tasha and me, we had a good dinner of curried clam chowder, lobsters boiled on Terra and unstopped still steaming on N'Apulco, and cinnamon custard for desert.
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To view a copy of the public domain dedication, visit http://creativecommons.org/licenses/publicdomain/ or send a letter to Creative Commons, 559 Nathan Abbott Way, Stanford, California 94305, USA.
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She had studied it in school, so she thought herself as an expert.
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I once had a neighbor who played it constantly, loudly, and badly, so I thought I knew it better.
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So, I think, did she.
3
The subject shifted from music to Tasha's obsession with fame, undoubtedly by a leap that I made.
1
She had no choice but to follow.
0
(I do not remember any of this well, just now, nor do I care to.
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The N'apulcans are mostly emigrants from Polaris II; the only difference between them and their Carribbean ancestors is that the ancestors fleeced NorAm tourists.
0
Those who are truly curious may look at the last act of "Captured Moments."
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Malaquez glanced away, embarrassed.
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"I will."
1
She said, "I feel sorry for you, Nardo.
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"I feel sorry for you, Nardo.
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I'll see Emil home."
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"Yes,"
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"Yes," I said, "Do that," and did not care what she did, or why.
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"Do that,"
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Emil asked, "You're all right?"
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"You're all right?"
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I muttered something he must have interpreted as assent.
0
They both walked up to Emil's home while I watched the scarlet moonlight ripple on distant waves.
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Disgusted with Tasha but more disgusted with myself, I finally realized she would not return that night and went into The Sleeping Flamingo to drink myself to sleep.
2
She had not come home when I woke in mid-morning.
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I waited, and drank a glass of MorningAfter and three cups of coffee, and wondered whether our affair could survive the events of the night, and whether I wanted it to.
2
Perhaps I should have invited Emil to stay, but even then I knew that sex was not the problem between Tasha and me.
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The problem was that I have trouble distinguishing between compromise and capitulation, between symbols and substance.
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Shortly before noon, I climbed the sandy path to Dream's End, rehearsing my apology, slowing only to pluck burrs from between my sandals and my feet.
2
Malaquez answered the door in blood-red pajamas and a black silk robe.
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Sixty years ago in a similar situation, I had broken my knuckles on someone's face.
2
I merely said, "Is Tasha here?"
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"Is Tasha here?"
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Now the N'apulcans profit from their Hispanic siblings.
2
He pursed his lips slightly, then nodded.
3
"Yes."
0
"May I see her?"
2
When he hesitated, I said, "Last night was my fault.
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"Last night was my fault.
2
I hold it against neither of you.
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Let me talk to her."
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"I --"
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"Please."
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He looked me and at last said, "Very well."
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"Very well."
1
We walked through his house in silence.
0
If that was Malaquez's work, it was a very minor effort.
3
But then, I was in no mood to consider art.
3
That was easier than despising myself.
3
I don't mean to sound cynical.
3
He paused before a bedroom door.
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"I should go in first.
3
I smiled.
1
"What would it hurt?"
3
"True.
3
Go ahead.
3
Tell her..."
2
I shrugged.
3
"Tell her I love her."
1
I suppose I wish to show that I'm still capable of a certain authorial distance, a semblance of dispassionate observation.
3
He studied me, then said, "I'm sorry things happened this way, Bernardo.
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"I'm sorry things happened this way, Bernardo.
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"I'm very good at making things happen this way.
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But if Tasha will forgive me --"
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He nodded, repeated, "I am sorry," then slipped into the next room.
2