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So I have been struggling with this a lot lately and I think its a key cause of my depression. when I speak to others (friends/family/even acquaintances) it feel like I am an empty vessel, only able to react to input from other people rather than initiate of my own accord. For example, I will be speaking to someone and they will come up with a related story or event or anything from in their own world, and expound on it. When I attempt to do the same nothing comes out at all. Idk if its a kind of social anxiety or anxiety in general but my mind goes entirely blank. I read a few things on here suggesting that you should talk about what interests you personally or whatever on your mind, but there is nothing on mind in those moments; except how lame i am for not being a proper person.nI'm an ambivert, so I know its not shyness or extreme introversion.nnIt's very frustrating to me because I fell my life is as rich as the next mans, I just don't know how to compel myself to participate in that way, without being prompted somehow.nHas anyone else got this experience? If so what do you do to get yourself out of it?
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Yes, I used to feel and behave exactly this way. I did a lot of soul searching and inward examination and realized that it was due to a few things: low self esteem, anxiety, blanket depression, and hanging out with the wrong people. nnA friend of mine tried to help by telling me to “ask more questions” and that was a good road to get started. It's an easy way to keep someone talking and the conversation rolling without having to come up with your own stories. nnBut once you start hanging around with positive people and change your inner dialogue, you'll find it much easier to tell stories and talk to people. I listened to Wayne Dyer and that helped a lot.
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Hi everyone, hope things are going well for you.nnI don't know if this is the right place to post this. Recently I've been finding it difficult to leave the house. I used to force myself to go out because I had to walk the dog but now that I don't have that responsibility I'm really struggling. nnI feel dumb about the way I look, my hair has gone curly and I love it and think it's really cute but I know it's not trendy and I'm terrified of being made fun of. It looks nerdy I guess.nnI'm insecure about my skin too. I visited my gran a while back and she loudly announced
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I'm right there with you. I constantly worry that people are staring at me and judging the way I dress or act. I wish I had some advice, but just know you arent alone.
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Recently I've been so anxious in both social and non-social instances where I will literally begin to dry heave and gag. Does anybody else have this? I've actually vomited on 3 separate occasions.
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Not diagnosed, no.
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Does anyone here ever pretend to not like someone whom they actually like (romantically or otherwise) to help hide or justify your feelings of anxiety toward them (particularly in the presence of other people)?
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I do this with the entire population. I make myself believe that I hate everyone. I end up believing they are the problem, not me. But down inside, I really want to be like other people and have friends.
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Spilled boiling hot black coffee on my hand at work today. This is a new job & I was too scared to tell the people I was with at the time as I don't know them or really speak to them. I thought I would end up embarrassing myself even more if I told them so I just tried to fight through it until I eventually couldn't take the pain anymore nAlso I literally had to bite my tongue when i spilled it so I wouldn't draw attention, kinda funny tbh but so fucking painful nnThis also just happens with milder things like needing help in school but being too scared to tell the teacher so you're panicking the whole entire lessonnndoes anybody else do shit like this?
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FYI: Asking someone for help tends to make them like you more.
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I hate when people tell me they don't have friends but then i later on found out that they do have some, that shit annoys me so much
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Have literally had zero friends since after high school, never kept in touch with them after we all went our separate ways.nnI have work acquaintances that I go to happy hours with and eat lunch with during the workweek, but no real friends.nnIf not for my GF, I would sit at home all day after work and the gym. I've tried Meetup groups every now and then, might try getting back into that in ‘22.
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Do you think smartphones are one of the main cause of us not getting over our social anxiety? (Almost everything can be done online nowadays so we don't bother to leave the house anymore.)nn(https://www.reddit.com/poll/tkr3fp)
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That's exactly what I do, I talk to customers all day on the phone but I have serious issues just stepping outside of my apartment.
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Anyone feel like your social anxiety comes from people thinking you are stupid? I think people are just judging me the whole time and mess up my words and I'm short with conversations. My shyness seems like I'm just dumb and ditsy
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Yeah I can see that! After that one person closest to you critique you enough you start to believe those things
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and then it loops...
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I'm so glad I'm not alone!
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This month has been a doozy for me, y'all. Despite my crippling social anxiety, I actually went out and landed myself a job in the town I just moved to. The whole process of reaching out, interviewing, etc. was INCREDIBLY stressful and if it weren't for my wonderful s/o cheering me along I don't think I could've ever done it lol. nnAnyway, today was my very first day of training. As nerve wracking as it was to go in today, I ended up making it through the day and finding that I actually fit in quite well with the coworkers I met. That put me a bit more at ease. However, there's still one daunting thing that haunts my thoughts constantly: the fact that I'm going to have to start being on u201cphone dutyu201d. I work as a library assistant at a college library, and my previous job was also at a library except I had fewer responsibilities and answering calls wasn't part of my job. So this job is like a step up from my previous one basically, which of course means getting used to more tasks I've never had to do. Everything else seems like it'll be fine once I get the hang of it, but I'm just petrified of phone calls. Just sitting at the desk gives me anticipatory anxiety like u201cwhen's that phone gonna ring? oh god I'm gonna have to pick it up.u201d I'm terrified that I'll answer the phone and then someone will ask a question and I'll just freeze up and not know how to answer it. I hate phone calls and they scare me even more than face to face interaction. I guess I'm paranoid about not being able to do my job well by not being able to handle patron calls, and I want so badly to do well here. I hate disappointing people and I love this job. I used to watch the clerks at my old library answer the phones all day long and would think to myself u201chow on earth do they do that so effortlessly all day??u201d It truly baffled me. I want to be like that.nnTLDR: Phone calls make my anxiety skyrocket and I'd love some tips on how to ease into it as someone with SA whose job requires it.
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That is so exciting that you got a job! I am glad you have a supportive significant other. I get anxiety around the phone, I used to have to write scripts for myself before making phone calls, but it is even harder receiving phone calls because you do not know what to expect.nnIt sounds like your biggest concern is not knowing how to answer a question. If you run into that situation, I would explain to the caller that you need to speak to someone to find the answer (you can even mention that you are new/in training). You can either put the person on hold or take their information to call them back. Then, consult with a coworker or find the information and follow up with the caller. You can also ask your new co-workers what they do when they do not know an answer to a patron call. No one can have all the answers and your patrons cannot expect you to!
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There's nothing better than seeing yourself reflected in other person, and I think it would really help me these days.
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Double 2013
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Title
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Prozac worked for me In college. However I got diagnosed with adhd 2 years ago and a low dose of Vyvanse works better for me now. Now I'm just on Vyvanse
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So I went on a vacation with friends and I was for sure socially anxious but trying to enjoy. I felt a bit of relief coming back home after a week or so but now I also realize how lonely it is and boring it is without people. It's like I'm never quite satisfied- anxious when around people and lonely when I'm not. Anyone relate?
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I totally relate to this.
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I'm spiraling. nI've struggled with clinical depression, anxiety, suicidal ideations (and 3 failed attempts), and possible BPD since I was 10. nI'm 29 now. nnIt seems like no matter what I try, what I do, all these things I have fought for so long keep my neck between their collective teeth and shake me relentlessly. Then life happens and it gives validity to all those insidious little whispers. nI am tired of being a burden. I am tired of masking because no one wants to deal with me otherwise, or I am called selfish when I break. I mask enough to pretend to be neurotypical just to exist as someone with autism in normal spaces, it's beyond exhausting. nnAnd now I have my only possible place to live telling me she wants me gone despite all I do to try to make her life easier, all i gave up to be childcare and housekeeper for her-my ability to work included, for 3 years-spent all of every cent of money i have managed to get from odd and end jobs to take care of her kid and animals and house...and I have nowhere to go. No money. No health insurance. No job despite endless hours every day for the past year trying to apply to as much as possible. nIt is starting to feel like the last kick I can take.nnI can barely sleep, and when I do it is plagued by nightmares. nI either feel numb to everything, completely empty, or so utterly despondent the tiniest thing has me sobbing into a towel on my bathroom floor, hidden away, all...accoutrement prepared. Or I feel completely disconnected from myself, like I am standing outside myself watching my life happen. nnI'm tired of fighting to want to live. Tired of fighting with an ED. Fighting to believe I have worth when i am shown constantly i have none, and my own mental demons agree. nnI just...I have fought incredibly hard against the urges for so long, but now I am nearly 30 and my life is worse off than it was when I was newly 18 and graduated from high school. My own sister, who I have bailed out so many times in so many ways over the years, kicking me out come end of lease. The divorce I have fought to get for the past almost 4 years still unattainable because every time I finally save the money for it, I am reminded how selfish I am and what a burden i am so i end up spending it on my niece and my sister.nnI never thought I would live this long. nnI wish I had been right.
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Thank you, truly. Truly.
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My therapist gave me this worksheet that's been helping me a lot, it's called (https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/putting-thoughts-on-trial). It's good for logical people. Obviously for a lot of people logic doesn't help, because anxiety doesn't listen to logic. nnFor me it's helped because when I'm worried about if all my friends really hate me I can create different worksheets (I have five friends so it's not that hard) and see if it's logical. It doesn't COMPLETELY help, and all of my verdicts have come back inconclusive, and I'm pretty sure saying “they should hate me” and “I'm weird” isn't a defense that would actually work in court, but it's been helping a lot and I managed to get the courage to consider asking someone to hang out and play music (small steps but I think I'm going to do it)!nnMy dad says asking to play music with someone is good if you are a drummer, because a lot of people suck at drumming, and most guitarists just want a basic beat that isn't complicated so no one is going to hate you. He's a guitarist.
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This is awesome!!
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I know it's probably not a big deal but it feels like the end of the worldntoday I was at this after school club and I just said something that came off completely sexist by accident and by the time I realized what I said, it was too late to take it back and I feel disgusting right now. everything just turned awkward and I'm panicking right now bc I didn't mean it
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Everyone says shit that doesn't come out the way they intended it to. For example, the mom of a mutual friend of me and my cousin died. This mutual friend had been depressed for a long time and we both feared this would send her over the edge. nnMy cousin lived closer to her and saw her more often, so a few weeks after the funeral I caught up to him and asked how she was doing. He said that if any, she seemed better and stronger despite what happened. nnI started saying I was glad that her response to such a terrible thing seemed to be to pick herself up again and keep fighting, but he interpreted it as me suggesting that it was good that her mom had died because she came out stronger. nnHe got really angry over it and I had to sit him down and explain what I really meant to get him to calm down. nnThis shit happens. If people around you reacted really badly to what you said, what you could do is approach them again and bring it up. nn
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Thank you so much for the support you guys were tremendously helpful, I will attempt to get therapy and continue to hit the gym like many of you recommended. Thank you means so much.
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5'6 is not a bad height for a guy. If a romantic interest won't date you because of your height that's a red flag. Don't do it! And I agree, that insecurity you feel about your height would probably just shift to something else. I don't think anyone is ever truly satisfied with the way they look. Look at Megan Fox. She was so naturally beautiful, but it wasn't enough for her. Now she looks fake and plastic. I will never understand it.
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I made another post similar to this a while ago, I somewhat recovered from that slump, but I've fallen into another one, a little different this time, but it has the same root cause.nnI feel terrible because I'm 19, and I still have never had a first kiss, or a girlfriend, I just feel like a loser, it's very embarrassing that I've never had those things, my parents were never really 'strict' about that kind of stuff, but they mocked my every decision, and made me live a life where I was horribly isolated, my teenage years were mostly made up of me feeling depressed about my situation in life, and I had no confidence to meet anyone because of the mocking and isolation, I only managed to get my drivers license a couple months ago.nn​nnit feels like I'm so far behind where I should be, i should have had a girlfriend by now, I just feel pathetic, I don't so much lament the loss of my teenage years, I have no idea what I'd of done during them, but I do lament the fact I am so old and have never had any relationships.nnWhat can I do to get over this? I feel like having my first kiss, and my first girlfriend would help reduce the feeling of being pathetic.nnBut I'm in a catch 22, I don't know how to stop feeling so bad so that i can find a girlfriend, I am generally liked by people, but I don't know how to let people in.nn​nnI know that I can't hope that a relationship will make me content in life, and that it's not some girl's job to make me happy, but I feel incomplete, I was very embarrassed for a long time because I couldn't get a driver's license, but when I finally got one it was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders, I hope the same is true about my first kiss.nnCan anyone tell me how to get out of my own head? or that I'm not some pathetic weirdo?
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I just commented above that there should be a dating app for people in this situation, I feel like it would help loads. I'm going to look into this haha :)
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The main thing I really don't want is weight gain. Not sure if going into being careful and checking weight and being healthy would help out or not.. my body did not seem to take well to lexapro but I also was more careless drinking and takeout more. Still I gained 40lbs rapidly in a few months when I'd never had such a drastic change before in my life and had been maintaining for the last several years.nnDefinitely could use the edge off again and some serotonin back but yeah... let me know experiences! Thanks I was prescribed 25mg to try out
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I can relate to everything you wrote here! Yes I lost 40lbs this year that I had gained on lex last year and don't want to go backward at all! I also had heavy drinking and bad diet as well. Been trying to do my best in making forward progress but also have been having issues with anxiety again and really am at the point I think it's time to give another med a chance. It's been so hard lately and as you said it's hard to convince yourself what's best and what you need when it comes to this stuff. We just want to feel better but want to do it on our own, but sometimes we need help. I hope it works for both of us! It would be so amazing to feel good again!
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I (female) have a huge gym crush... what do you all do when you have social anxiety and a gym crush? Do you avoid that person and just look at them from afar?
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“I saw it in a video”nOf course you did cause it's a video..nGo actually look for a guy doing that to a girl and saying she is “ugly or hideous.” I'm still waiting. nnI'm trying to make a point and all you are doing is proving my point. In this generation; In my age, 21st century, people born in the 2000s; the girls have a strong sense of entitlement. nnYou can search up a girl on YouTube name Courtney Ryan who can pull up data and has hyperlinks to this. Videos and everything. What's even better is I can step outside and see it for myself for that information to be reinforced as truth.
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So I went out to eat this evening, and to every question the waitress asked, I said
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I feel that! When I'm
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1. Happy Halloween everyone. nn2. So I'm 19 and this is kind of my first Halloween where I don't go trick or treating, give out candy or even have a friend to just hang out with. I'm an introvert, obviously. So last year my friend dragged me around our college campus doing Halloween related whatever they had set up. This is my first year in an apartment so I don't even have trick or treaters coming to my door. My roommates are all leaving to go do whatever and I'm just stuck here being, I guess, sad. Anywho I guess this is kind of a cry for help, if anyone else is lonely and brave enough to reach out I could totally just use having someone to talk to or something. Yeah... alright, I'm rambling now. So if you wanna talk, you can message me? Maybe? Maybe not? Okay. Bye now?
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Thanks, but I will be spending my Halloween being a potato.
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Half a lifetime I have spent with no friends, self destructive behavior, inability to express what I'm thinking, and no good diagnosis. I've moved, and have not sought a new provider. I feel like they all just say, 'uh-huh:, shake their heads, and send me a bill. IDK what to do next. I feel so lonely and isolated.
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I'm so sorry you're going through this. It can take a while to find the right doctor or therapist to work with, my dude. Keep trying, the benefits are worth it.
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My (f 22) social anxiety is still quite severe, tho it improved in the last few years. I only really have one friend, thus I don't go out too often (on average once every couple months). I have never been in a relationship before and am still a virgin. I used to be religious up until last year and was a big supporter of this whole
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Dating apps would probably be the easiest way to talk with a bunch of different people and meet up with them. I would recommend meeting them sooner rather than later, it will also help with practicing social interaction.nnI know if you search online there are also local meetup groups you could join based on interests you have or interests you'd want a partner to have, but maybe that'd be more for long term friendships/relationships instead of hookups
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Has anyone had any experience with journaling or writing a diary to help clear things up in their head? nnIt's reached the point where my overthinking is damaging my mental health, seemingly mundane things in my life are getting blown out of proportion in my head and getting mixed up with a number of other things. I need a way to just slow down and organise my thoughts, so I'm just wondering if journaling will be worth it? Just to get things out on paper? nnAlso does anyone have other suggestions? Counselling isn't really an option right now and I don't like burdening my friends/whenever we do talk I just can't get it out.
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If I had done it earlier it might have made a difference, but I tend do most work in my head - which is probably why I have MH problems, I've worn my brain out. nSo I
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It feels almost embarrassing for me to be saying this at 28 years old. I find it hard to emotionally connect with anyone so even when I try to get to know people it feels so forced? Like it never goes past surface level. I think my problems stem deeper than just a little social anxiety.
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Exactly. Feels nice to have somethings in common when normally these are things that make me feel like such an outlier. Thanks for your kind words and hoping you too have a very decent Tuesday!
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Hey guys, I'm about 90% sure a girl at my school likes me. She keeps on looking at me in class but I'm too nervous to do anything, including simply turning to look at her.nI like her also, but I can't bring myself to talk to her. For normal people this would be extremely easy, but I can't do anything.nShe may be losing patience/ interest as she doesn't look at me as much as she used to.nWhat should I do to boost my confidence?
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I'm fairly certain most people know that I do, ok, I'll try your advice.
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For over a year I have struggled feeling like life isn't real. Memories feel like nothing. When remembering Faces of people I'd die for I feel almost nothing as if I had maybe seen them on a show long ago. My grandpas face who up till a year ago was enough pain to make me cry I feel nothing. Memories of him don't feel real. Anything that isn't happening in the moment doesn't feel real. Friends (who I have spent years with) when they are not within eye sight I struggle to even remember. I know stories and have (memories) of them and with them but they don't think like they are mine. one of my best friends who I'd spent days or weeks at a time living off his couch, seems like a foreign concept. When I'm stressed or anxious or sometimes without reason at all I have this buzzing almost in my head I can't explain. I hate it I hate not being able to explain myself to anyone. I can be as I am now and struggling and my head abuzz memories meaning nothing to me for days or weeks at a time without break. But once I'm normal or as I guess I feel (normal) which is rare none of what I'm going through every single day I can even comprehend. Today has been bad like I'm high and watching myself from the outside pain feels equivalent to a touch on the hand smells and tastes and feelings so dull I almost don't want to continue this life. I believe it's because of days I feel this way that I have had multiple spurts of bad bad depression. The kind of depression where there seems to be nothing left to live for and that it is simply time to die so I can just feel normal and not hate everything about myself. That is anyways until something or some thought or someone distracts my mind in just a way for long enough that I can no longer comprehend how I felt or why. I don't know why I'm writing this other than I thought it might distract me but now I am struggling to even understand what I wrote. It's stupid. I fucking hate this. Why why why can't I just feel fucking normal. Why when I reread this does it feel like I am faking it. I just don't understand. I really don't get who or what I am. I can't even look in the mirror without being genuinely uncomfortable that the person I see is not me i do not look like that. What do I do? At this point I'm gonna succumb to this and end my life but the question is when. I'll probably delete this tomorrow or when I see it again thinking this is just some cringe shit and I'll never understand who I am in this moment again till I write something like this again. I know I have in the past but none of what I've ever seen or written makes any sense. I can barely ever remember my own name without a pause for thought anymore…
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I'm really sorry to hear this all happened and I honestly hope the best for you. Restarting is rough and hearing your story honestly gives me some courage to try and understand what's happening with me and maybe work a little harder to find a goal. Something I can focus on and not lose all Sense of feeling towards something I can focus on to remind myself I'm actually a person and actually alive so thank you and the offer extends both ways if you ever need someone just ask and I'll do my best to be there
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All the books I saw on Amazon looked kinda like dull uninteresting books on the subject, although some were highly rated I remain skeptical. Sure someone might respond there's like some kinda sidebar with a link to books, but I want to know a firsthand story of a book or a video that transformed your SA looking at a FAQ isn't going to help me thanks.
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CBT is the only thing that's helped my anxiety. I can't recommend it enough. The only drawback is that your will to complete therapy has to be self-generated and all the medication in the world won't help you finish the therapy.
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I am sorry if this post sounds whiny, but I need to get this off my chest and i don't have time to revise!! Also I type kind of silly; humor is how I confront my pain.nnAt a very early age I was diagnosed with SAD, in 2009 with GAD. My anxiety was generally pretty low for a couple years before this problem.nnI moved to one of USA's biggest cities with my bf over a year ago, in the densest area so I could be close to my job (which only lasted one day :p). Shortly after we settled into our apartment, my anxieties compounded into a claustrophobic state.nnNothing blocks the sound between my apartment and the busy intersection 200ft away, so I hear every vehicle that passes, including all the blaring horns and screeching tires (it's a weird intersection, I can't blame them), and the daily sirens of cop cars and ambulances. Occasionally I hear shouts and screams from the street at night because... ??? Then my building is right next to a playground, which shouldn't be that big of a problem but damn I wish I knew about these children before we moved in, they are constantly screaming. Up to midnight.nnMy apartment itself can be noisy. The east side (which faces the intersection) is a brick wall nearly 100 years old, and does have at least one crack so I still hear all this with the window closed. The walls and floors are thin so next door my neighbor is snarling angrily at his tv, below me someone always their music so loud the bass is just punching me in the head.nnTo summarize that: inside my apartment, there's infinite layers of chaotic noise that I'm having difficulty canceling out, even with earplugs. My next step from here: I'm going to get back into meditating, and I want to move to a place with thicker walls!nnAdditionally I want to move because I don't feel safe going outside here by myself. I am a minority in the area I live in, something I've never dealt with before. It feels like I'm always being watched by others on the street. I am othered and objectified and catcalled whenever I go outside :(. There's a huge movie/tv industry here so I fear being filmed without my consent when I'm in a vulnerable state.nnThis is how it is here. After a year living there, my anxiety got so bad that I was having audio hallucinations. I was scared by the thought I was suddenly having schizophrenic episodes. I had a brain hemorrhage in recent years, so that stuff wasn't out of the question for me lol. I didn't want to frighten bf so I sat with them for an unbearable week.nnSo I finally told him and and I cut down on my weed usage, so now I'm a little less insane :), I'm making a little more art, I'm applying to more jobs. Bf and I just started saving up to move! He is really supportive of me now that I told him about my illness, though initially I was so scared to tell him.nnHOWEVER, I still face all these problems from before. Is there anyone who has faced these issues? I want to reach acceptance if possible before we move. And I live in Los Angeles so anyone familiar with LA have advice for finding therapy or safe spaces? The sheer number of stuff in LA just paralyzes me and i don't know where to start there. nnThank you for reading.
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no real advice, but this is pretty similar to the situation i'm in right now. last summer, i moved from a rural town to a big city. the house i live in now has very loud roommates, and i still can't get used to how noisy it is outside of my window. everything can seem overwhelming & almost like sensory overload at times - yet, i actually live somewhere that would be described by many as a
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I've been following this subreddit for around a month now and I rarely see positive posts. And honestly I could understand why, the thought of socialising makes my heart beat faster and I got very anxious. Iam basically SCARED of people.nnIs there anyone here who managed to overcome their SA? Therapy? Just force yourself to go and socialize? Got an extrovert to adopt you? Or you embrace it and never got out of the house?nnEdit : also if seems like it's very common for us to get mocked randomly based on this subreddit. It happens to me a few times too, I participated in school competition and had to send my essay to this random building I never even get in. Understandably, I didn't know where should I go and I guess behaved awkwardly.nnAn old man in the receipting straight up mocked me and told me to 'grow a spine'. Then my friend arrived and he immediately praised her saying 'See, this is how good upstanding future adult should act' nnAll I did was missing the receiption table and instead looking around awkwardly, they called to me and I come! There's nothing wrong with that, I don't understand why he's so offended.
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Social anxiety book?! Why I never thought of that?! I should try that, it's better than just randomly throwing myself into fire and hope for the best like what I had always been doing. Thank you!!nnAlso unfortunately for me my country is VERY discriminating, not even my parents want to acknowledge me struggling, even when I ended up harming myself because of it. So that's why it never struck me to seek help from books I guess, I just thought such things would never get sold here. But maybe I should search for it.nnThank you, have a good day. Also, what a relatable feeling to feel ashamed of a comment in Reddit I like your comment though!
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I have these strange occurrences, usually while I'm laying down. I feel as if my mind is trying to sever from my body, and I feel overwhelmingly anxious and my body jolts. I usually feel the urge to cry to to scream. I haven't found anything on this experience online, so I was wondering if anybody knows or has experienced this.nnThanks
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Generalized Anxiety Disorder I figured it out lol, thank you for responding though it helps
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I'm a 24 year-old man, and I've only ever had one girlfriend. It took every ounce of my being to ask her out, but I did, and we dated for about a month. It felt great to take that step, but this was years ago. I'm incredibly shy and anxious to approach a girl. nnI recently took the pledge to not let my anxiety control me anymore. I've been on Celexa for about 10-15 years, but I still have trouble doing new things. I feel like I've been missing out on life. So, I told myself to do more things. The problem is, there's still dueling perspectives in me on the dating front. One says that you being able to go home and do whatever you want, on the other sometimes I feel lonely and a girlfriend can give me a much needed boost to my self-esteem.nnOne big problem is that I still live with my parents. It's much later than most people, but I don't have a very well-paying job, and I wanted to use this time to save money to one day get a better job. I just feel that women may judge me harshly for still being a dependent.nnAnother problem I had is the actual act of approaching a girl. How does anyone do that? I always feel that they have all the power in that situation, and I'm bothering them or being a creep. Does anyone have advice on how someone with SAD overcomes this, or just tips in general. My heart was POUNDING when I first talked to a girl, but I did it because she had a Zelda backpack, so I knew we had something in common. Any advice is appreciated.
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I feel you man. I've always felt that there was a social stigma associated with living at home that late. But literally, I'd leave if I was financially able. I just see people with three jobs just barely making ends meet, and I don't want to live like that.nnAs for approaching girls, a guy once told me that if a girl rejects you, you're right back where you started. But part of the fear for me is what if they say yes? I'm so inexperienced on that front.
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I have a very vivid memory from my childhood. nnMy 6 cousins (3 to each uncle) were visiting us in Canada from New England and I never really got along with them. The two youngest were mostly fond of my brother who wrestled with them and the 2 middle ones preferred my sister as they would talk about girly shit and whatnot. The older two were old enough to be part of the adult discussions and therefore would talk about taxes..or whatever adults talk about. I found myself very alone. I kept trying to butt into my grandmother and oldest cousins conversation, but I'd get forced out of it pretty quickly. nnIt became obvious to my brain that I was unwanted and no one would miss me if I ran away or died. I got up from the couch and went into my grandparents bedroom. Where I began to crawl under the bed. Once settled in, I felt safe. I felt I could finally relax and take a breath. 5 minutes later, my uncle noticed my absence and started looking for me. My littlest cousin found me under the bed, as only a little kid would think of hiding there. My uncles and grandfather then had to lift the bed to let me out. I began crying as everyone began asking me what I was doing and why I was under there. Seeing as I didnt give any answer beyond
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Yea you wanted the warmth of being included without actually having to talk to people. nnSpeaking of band, I was the only one in my grade in middle school who took band (everyone else was younger) and was the first seat clarinet. I enjoyed band a lot which is why it was always a big deal if I didn't show up for practice. Unfortunately, I was incredibly dumb with my hiding spots. I always picked to hide in the small room in the back where we put our music stands. It went from me seeking darkness and peace to everyone checking there and yelling at me for holding up class. It just made everything worse tbh cause I just wanted to hide more after getting yelled at for hiding.
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So I had finally found the courage to go to a bar alone, thinking i would try to socialize, and then I met those 2 girls in the street and asked them what was the best bar to go where it is possible to socialize with other people, and then i asked them if it was weird that i was going alone and they said yes like a big yes (im a girl btw). So I left before I even got into the bar. And now my social anxiety is back, guys and I am convinced everyone think I'm weird and feel sorry for me if I go to a place alone.
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More as strange I think because they were laughing
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Don't usually post but I wanted to shout out to the good life. I'm satisfied with my life, active and healthy and my absolute favorite time of the day is the time spent to myself in bed before I fall asleep. It took me countless years to realize that's ok!! My hope is someone sees this and gets through their day a little easier knowing their bed is waiting for them.
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YES, I just laid in bed 5 mins ago. It is definitely my safe place. I know no one can bother or hurt me here.
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I think it says enough. If you serve no purpose, cant make people happy and fail at everything you try do you deserve to live ? Or are you just taking up space. Cause i am really feeling this right now.
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Which human being on this planet is righteous enough to have the right to determine who does and does not deserve to live?
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If I'm out in public, I need my hands to be somewhere. nPockets don't work as well anymore, my jacket is long so it kinda makes my jacket press against my butt and make me look fat. nHolding a bag works but sometimes I don't have one.nLike do I tuck away my arms? They kinda flail about when I'm walking and they just kinda hang on my sides.nI like walking in the night, then because people don't really see me unless thet are close so my hands/arms don't feel like huge accessories.
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Ricky Bobby, is that you?
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so i got covid back in july and was hospitalized for it because i had a panic attack from accelerated heart rate + energy drinks. since then i thought it was just brainfog i was experiencing but it has been a very long time now and its almost like its gotten worse. and its not even like brain fog, its almost as if im high, like i start feeling like im watching my life through my eyes and ill like look down at my hands and open and close them. then i start to get anxious because i don't understand whats going on. they did an mri in the hospital when i had my panic attack and nothing came up. ever since then my brain hasnt felt the same. i stopped consuming caffeine, started eating more and healthier, i try to get 8 hours of sleep and i dont play video games near as much as i used to. i feel like my health should be at an all time high but my head just feels off. and these moments i was talking about arent constant, it will just randomly happen either when i get off my pc or when im out in public sometimes. if anyone can relate or help me with whats going on i would really appreciate that. for anyone wanting to know im 19, 5'7 and i weigh 113. i go to the gym regularly as well
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Seems like long covid to me. You might consult with doctors who treated you for covid.
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I just hate it, I'm constantly looking down avoiding eye contact with everyone and trying my best to keep out of everyone's way and it just takes so much energy out of me, it feels like I've ran a marathon or something. I also have trouble walking straight and breathing properly especially when someone is walking towards me. My mind is going 100 miles an hour trying to focus on everyone around me that it gets to the point where I forget certain things I was going in for or just straight up buy something I don't need so I can leave the shop as soon as possible.
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Totally the same
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To me it just feels like older people seem a little less judgy compared to people your age or younger. For example, you go to the grocery store and you enter the soda aisle or whatever aisle, and you see a group of people around your age (for me it's college students) versus entering an aisle and seeing a group of old ladies or old men.
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For me, it's both. Like I might be wearing like shorts or something bc its fuckin hot outside, and I walk near a group of old people and I feel mega uncomfortable because I feel like they're judging me or something because old people are usually hella modest. But around people my age its just living hell as well so :)
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Social anxiety is really a set back for me. I can never reach my potential. I see other people being so comfortable and confident in what they do. Especially when it comes to making money. Those people can have many connections that can lead them to success but I'm so drowned in my own insecurities and unconfidence that I don't make connections or be financially successful.
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Yup it depends from person to person. I even heard Abraham Lincoln suffered from anxiety/depression.nnI think I said it wrong, I think its more difficult for someone who has an anxiety/depression disorder to become more sucessful. Not saying they can't. This is wut I wanted to say.
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I'm 15 with bad social anxiety, I don't vape daily and I've never even vaped, I've just tried it, if u know what I mean, there's a difference between once trying it or repeatedly inhaling it. Okay so last weekend i was at a party where we shared a vape, and i found that when I was vaping it i seemed more social and relaxed and I could strike up a convo with someone, ofc there was alcohol, but I was sobered up already so I'm pretty sure it's the vape that made me relaxed...... I also didn't stutter that much.... my social anxiety is pretty bad in school and it's making daily life hard for me, so I was thinking maybe I should try out vaping for my SAnnWhat do you think, is it worth it
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I am very very addicted to vaping, and do not recommend it, because your social anxiety will most likely only make your dependence on it higher. For me, it's an oral fixation that's connected to my anxiety. If I'm not vaping, I'll be taking sip after sip of whatever drink I have, just because it helps relieve my tension by keeping my hands/mouth busy. Nicotine is also a stimulant, so it will actually most likely make you feel more anxious after repeatedly hitting it, similar to over consuming caffeine. The relaxed buzz you get when you first start will eventually go away, to where it doesn't even provide that benefit anymore, you'll just get irritated without it. Don't mean to lecture, I'm just speaking as someone with experience.
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If you could only pick a couple, what results you would like to get the most?nn1. Ask for a date, job interview, and help from others without having your heart racenn2. Develop the ability to look anyone straight in the eye and stand up for yourselfnn3. Never have anyone ask you,
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Definitely #4. I feel like those voices are the cause of most of my anxiety and depression, so I'd love to be able to finally silence them.
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Just noticed that I've said this for years and want to see if someone else can relate.
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I'm certainly glad I'm not the only one I moved out of my parents house right before my dad died over a year ago, and now it just seems I see only the bad in the world and I just have this urge to go home but even when I visit my mom I don't feel home, I wish I knew where it was cause part of me hopes it would make me feel better and everything would be ok
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Does anyone else get this feeling
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okay, speaking as an expat: it doesn't
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So, just needed to vent a little bit, sorry. Short background info, work as a Barista, in the same place for about a year now, I'd like to think that I've become better when it comes to dealing with people but I'm obviously mistaken. I have more difficulties holding a conversation with one of the guys there, lets call him J. Today me had a guy doing a guest shift in the store I work in, a very talkative, well like, funny dude. Lets call him S. And apparently S and J are buddies, S comes on shift and J completely changes from bored and quiet to glad and talkative. And I'm just there on the side, freaking out on the inside. nnI completely clam up and can't say anything coherent, funny or friendly at all, I just call out drinks and one word answer everything. Come break time and I lock myself into the bathroom and just cry for half an hour. If anything, I've become worse. Really not seeing any way out of this, I'm sick and tired of being that quiet, aloof unfriendly person that nobody likes. nnAlso, just moved in to a new place after having been kicked out, guys are all really extroverted and hang out every night and have loads of friends over, I've tried to make an effort not being the weird recluse, but last night when I came home late having to get ;up early the next day, I went into the kitchen, saying hi to my flatmates and apologising for having to go to bed early. As I entered my room I hear the guy fake crying real loud. Sorry, end of rambling rant. nnTL:DR Started crying at work because SAD
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I've had moments we're I've come close to breaking down in public , but usually end up crying at home. You're brave.
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So I told this guy (let's call him A) that I would show up for his private event, we're kinda friends but I had to cancel last minute on him, I know it's bad to be flaky but his response was “I'll pretend to be shocked!!!” And then he laugh reacted (this was on insta) to me saying “Okay disregard that last message, I'll go”. So now I'm going to his thing because he made me feel bad, and also because I feel like I should prove him wrong and show up for something I said I would do. But was this really mean and somewhat manipulative of him to say? I need some other views on this.
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But I didn't cancel…I went. And he's also very flaky. I'm not actually that flaky at all I cancel one or two times
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I find shows and videos where someone is
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I don't know if it's got anything to do with anxiety or just generally finding that style of humor annoying but I can't fucking stand that show.nnSo of course my most obnoxious coworker loves it and always leaves it on in the break room at work.
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Let's just admit it, if you are a female with social anxiety people will see it as funny, quirky, and you won't have much problems having friendships and romantic relationships.nn​nnBut if a guy has one its beyond over for you, you will never be respected as a man, and you will have extremely hard time in this world.
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Not true at all. I'm a guy with severe social anxiety and sure it's hard but no harder than it is for anyone else wether male or female.nnEveryone is different and to say you know exactly how someone else feels or experiences anxiety is impossible. It's only how you are seeing it from your point of view and that's fine .... but not necessarily correct.
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I just feel that for whatever reason I am considered to be annoying, and I can't figure out what the specific annoying things are in order for me to go about changing them. I feel its just inherent.
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The annoying part is what arises out of the analytical mind. When the analytical mind is taking over, we're going to end up behaving in ways that aren't inherit to our calm, relaxed state of mind. Those mannerisms and behaviours based out of an anxious mind set are what's going to be perceived as annoying or weird. It's not going to be one specific thing we do or say, it's going to be everything we do or say when we're in that anxious mind set.nnWe need to be able to tame the analytical mind in order to become less annoying. Once we do that, the weird or annoying stuff will just go away on its own.
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Do I smile? Say good morning? Look at them? nnHonestly, I say good morning a lot of the time and it feels good, but when I see someone from afar, I always get nervous to pass them. I always feel SO awkward. nI wonder if I look normal from the outside.
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do what's most comfortable for you.
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So a few days ago I saw on TikTok some random Russian girl and I thought she was very pretty and I just got hooked and wanted to know the girls name. And the first few minutes I didn't know who she was until I did a little research and I wish I didn't. Now I probably need to say I am a 14 year old male (introvert) and I never had a girlfriend. So anyway back to the girl, her name is Rina Palenkova. Russian 17 year old girl who passed back in 2015. Normally I ignore this stuff (I don't really mind nasty stuff in general). But this one really hit me, I don't know why but maybe she was the first girl I found actually pretty. So the last few days I was feeling actually shitty and couldn't think about anything else than her (and yes I know its sick and I don't like myself for it ). I have been thinking like what would I do if she didn't do what she did or how badly I would want to save her if I could. Now keep in mind I never knew this girl or heard or seen the girl in real life. Anywhere I go I just picture her there and start to feel shitty again and its driving me crazy and sad at the same time. I am not any kind of psycho or have some sick fetish or anything like that (I never pictured anything intimate). Whenever I go somewhere it feels really depressing like my life had no meaning without her. And I want to ask if someone had similar experience with stuff like this and how did you get out of this state.
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Yeah definitely don't compare yourself to kids with girlfriends. The other commenter said everything perfectly. You aren't weird, at that age I think I even had a crush on a cartoon character lol and so did many others my age. What I'm more concerned about is you being so sad, she passed but her time had come. The way you are feeling right now about this girl, you will definitely be a caring boyfriend to some girl in the future. So that's great (: I was my boyfriend's first girlfriend and he was 21. He said he was super shy in school. He Had his first kiss at 19, not with me but you get it. And we have been together 8 years (:nMy ex before that I was his first girlfriend 2 and he was 17. Don't compare you'll be okay (:
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Ok, so a while back I was crushing really hard on a friend of mine, call her R. I get too nervous to do anything, fail in asking her and so I go to her best friend - also a friend of mine, call her T. I tell T what's up, she asks me about it and offers to surreptitiously find out for me what R is thinking. Instead she just tells R I'd liked her a lot for the past 6 months. She refused to tell me what else she said. Of course I get rejected, leading into a depression that got in the way of me doing well at work and I don't come out of the worst of that mindset until pretty much now. I was furious with T for quite a while but I got over it because I figured she's just dumb.nnI was out for a walk and I get some texts from R:nn
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You did nothing wrong, T was at fault.
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And what do you think can fix it? If you know...
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If I'm not making sure to speak carefully people will notice I have a lisp.....
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Crippling social anxietynnMy anxiety has hit a point that is starting to feel crippling, I hate talking to even the cashier at the grocery store. For some reason I always feel awkward. Like I never say the right thing and then I'll spend all day thinking about things I should have said. Or I think about past mistakes in my life and I sit in this weird guilty anxious state. I don't know how to shake this feeling that I'm just this weird awkward person. It's getting hard to maintain friendships or even spend time around family because I dread being around people because of the fear that people will think I'm weird or I won't say the right thing.. idk guysnCan anyone relate to what I'm saying? nIt's just getting to a point I'm starting to feel crazy
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I will look into that, thank you for reaching out
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TLDR: People actually like us more than we think they do. And they don't keep it a secret. We just ignore their cues because we tend to focus on what we think they think of us, instead of what they actually think of us.nnIf asking people if they liked us wasn't such a weird thing to do, we'd probably be doing it all the time.nnAnd because we can't, we're left with what our brains think the next best thing is: blindly guessing whether people like us or not. Sadly, we tend to default to the latter.nnNotice that after every conversation we have with strangers, we're always left ruminating over things like whether the way we said something was offensive, or that the way we moved our hands was awkward, or that the way we smiled was creepy. Our brains continue to find reasons to tell us that people dislike us. It's rarely the other way around.nnHere is science to the rescue. According to a research published in the journal Psychological Science, (https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0956797618783714).nnIn the experiment, psychologists asked two strangers to have a five-minute conversation with each other. Afterwards, they were asked to rate (1) how much they liked their conversation partner and (2) how much they think their conversation partner liked them. The result? Participants' rating of how much they think their partners liked them (perceived liking) was significantly lower than how much their partners actually liked them (actual liking).nnIn other words, they severely underestimated how much their partners actually liked them.nnThe weird thing is, people actually actively show us how much they like us. They don't try to make it a secret. In the same study, third-party observers were asked to watch recorded videos of the conversations and rate the level of like between the conversation partners. Their ratings were more consistent with actual liking than with perceived liking.nnIn short, everyone else can see if other people like us u2014 except us.nn(This means when your friends tell you,
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Hard to have a good attitude with a mouth full of shit.
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im going out to eat w/ my family and ummmmmm. normally i can get away with watching tiktok but my grandma is here and lets just say shes very talkative. not looking for advice although it would be nice. mostly just want to say it somewhere
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It's just dinner. It will get over in a few hours. You can make conversation for a few hours.nnTiktok is not a substitute for relationships OP. Tiktok isn't going to help you when you're struggling.
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I don't know why. I applied for a job at gas station. Got a call eventually, I know it's from this place but I didn'f answer and didn't call back yet. I'm just too anxious and not sure if work on a gas station is good for my anxiety. Why do I have to be like this...
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Just call back and say sorry you missed the call
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Has anyone done this before? I just feel awkward going by myself.
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I do it all the time and I much prefer going to the theater alone. Honestly, I never understood why going to the movies was considered a group activity. You're sitting in a dark room quietly while staring at a screen projection for two hours. Nothing about that concept screams
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:/
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Travel to a place you don't know anyone there, enjoy solitude traveling, kinda helps lifting the anxiety and loneliness.
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So recently I've been feeling out of it like all day sometimes like I'm watching a movie or something it's terrifying. Then sometimes I feel fine. I wanna be around people but I also wanna be alone. The only time I feel normal is like when I distract myself with like videogames and what not. I just wanna feel normal again. Wtf is going on.
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Don't overthink, we tend to think more when we sit ideal. Try to get involved in some work have a planner. I was feeling the same way until last month. I made the planner but did followed it passionately but when we have an idea that we have a task in sequence our mind did not get distracted. Eg: wake up, make up your bed, open curtain, brush , just sit and meditate. Go out have fun. Jog. Visit a library. Don't let your mind overthink. Take it easy. You are not alone.. nGood luck for your future endeavours..
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Of all the reasons she could have moved to a different table, I'm always sure it's because of me... Either I smell bad, or I look scary, or something else about me is off. nnCan anyone relate to these thoughts?
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It'll do you a lot of good to learn how to redirect that negative thinking, replacing it with neutral or positive alternatives. It isn't easy to begin with, but the more you do it the more habitual it becomes and it can really change your whole perspective.
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Where do I look???? I have told my mum this and she keeps telling me “just look normally at people”. But the thing is, is that I literally can't. Like obviously Im supposed to look at the person in their eyes, but i forgot how to do it “normally” and without being anxious. It's so frustrating because i can't get my brain to work how I want it to, and it just makes my whole day worse if I have to interact with a person. For example, a person starts talking to me and I immediately freak out and get frustrated and I can't be myself.nnWhat I usually do is I look at the person that I'm talking to in their eyes, like most people do. I freak out because I dont know which eye to look at, and then I freak out because I don't know where my eyes should look at next, and then I freak out because I probably looked in a weird way because I didn't know where to look and then I get even more anxious because my eyes are going all over the place, and then I get even more anxious because I can't look the person in the eye for more than 5 seconds without looking somewhere else, AND THEN I get anxious even more because my brain are not allowing me to look at someone without being anxious and it goes on and on and on until I go home. This all happens within like a short period of time. Idk if majority of people who have social anxiety are like this but this is just the best way I can explain how it happens to me. Literally every 2 seconds there's a new thing I'm anxious about. Idk how to explain it. This is just one of the thousands of symptoms i have.
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When I have trouble with eye contact I look between the eyebrows. It doesn't seem to peturb people when I do it and it's got me out of getting panicky when things are a bit much.
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I've been unemployed since just before Christmas (software developer). Fortunately I have a decent nest egg of savings to sit on for the time being. I initially left work because my world kind of came crashing down around me when the stresses of work pushed me over the edge. I did not even know I had social anxiety disorder at the time or much about it. I've always been super nervous and was pretty sure I was depressed as well. The idea was that I'd take a few months off after my last contract to see to my mental health and then look for a new job. A lot has happened since then. How naive I was... also COVID-19 happened.nnAnyway, fast forward to a few days ago. A previous client, and friend of my dad, has reached out via email with a job opportunity. I now need to work out how to tell the guy no with a decent reason that isn't related to my mental health. Pretty sure he knows I'm not working atm either. He wants a phone call to discuss the job as well, which I really don't want to do (phone calls really mess me up, even more so with unknown people or vague acquaintances). I actually spoke with my dad about it as he knows what I'm going through but unfortunately doesn't quite understand. He said I need to put my health first (ok), but I should really at least acknowledge the offer and decline (ugh but fair) and that it won't hurt to just pick up the phone and have a short call (oh hell no)...nnI'm not calling the guy, too difficult right now. I just need to come up with a decent reason why I can't take on the work that isn't related to my mental health and won't eventually be found to be a lie.nnAnyway, just needed to vent about this. Thanks for listening!
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Yayy, that's amazing!! And o man, I keep begging different people (so that the same person doesn't get super bugged too soon) to proofread my emails all the time. Sometimes I wish I had a personal person to do that. Anyhoo, I'm very glad, good relieved sigh indeed :)
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I'm currently struggling with buspar- first was prescribed 15 Mg twice a day and was not titrated onto it. I felt completely delusional, out of it, couldn't think straight, couldn't see straight, dizzy, head pounding, couldn't remember anything. Then brought myself down to 5 Mg twice a day (tried getting in touch with my doc but she was impossible to reach so I had to do it myself- I know, this is another issue and I'm seeing a new doc in April already scheduled). This helped symptoms mostly but still a little dizzy and out of it but also very depressed. So then when my doc finally got back to me, she had me stay at 5 Mg twice a day and added tiny 75 Mg Wellbutrin SR once a day for the depression and said I'm just extremely sensitive to medicine. Then the next day, the zombie like, completely out of it, dizzy, delusional, can't see straight have to squint my eyes, pounding headache, feel drunk / high feeling came back full force. I feel so completely out of it and it's really scary because I can't grab my thoughts and actually am convincing myself it's a brain problem that's potentially affecting me long term. So really would love to hear and be assured it could be the medication. I've looked up serotonin syndrome and have a lot of those symptoms, but is that possible on so low doses? Any help would be so appreciated!!! Thank you so so much.
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Thank you so much for this information! I think I am just extremely sensitive to medication, so maybe my dizziness symptoms that last you once to two hours are just lasting me longer?? I'm seeing a new psychiatrist in April and will discuss what you must taught me. Thanks again!!
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Hello everybody,nnI am 23y old and had one relationship that messed me up and i can't trust women again. nAs for the friends part based on my really bad experiences and past life style that i had before whenever i meet someone i just can't trust them. Whenever i meet some of my old friends that used to have fun with, i just don't have anything to talk about with them. nTo make it worst i hate this city that i live in, but i can't leave from here because of my University.nnI have a words about my gateway from my anxiety and those bad feelings that i will never have true friends or have a relationship and thats- '' Igram tri dana tango smrti
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You just summed up my life, 23 y/o too, identical story, just started therapy for this. I don't know yet how I can help you (and me neither) but I completely understand you. I am starting to get used to my solitude and I don't see this as a bad thing. There are times where I am upset cause I think that I will never be loved, or have the opportunity to feel love again but I try to recognise that these thoughts are just thoughts and that life is really really unpredictable. I am trying my best to feel good with myself, I am just living my life how it is. Try not to feed these thoughts, don't let them win you. I wish you the best.n(P.S. if you like reading try
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Hello, I never worked and I will finish school soon and I have SA and I am scared that my work life will be bad because I will not be able to be friends or be liked by my future colleagues. Is it hard to work with SA? What if its a job that has to do with clients? How do you deal with that? Please I need answers, thanks
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Hey I understand your situation because I have SA as well but remember this,We are what we practice. I became very good at pull ups and exercise because I train everyday (consistent practice). Now I'm practicing at home, speech and how to talk confidently all by myself.nnI have tried several coping and treatment methods but none of them really worked, they made me more depressed and mentally ill.nnIf play a video game you really like everyday, you become really good a it. Life is about practice. We can put anything into practice.nnI hope this helps you ud83dudc4d
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I don't know what to do. nThere is a competition at my workplace. You can submit ideas, then there is a voting and the best 5 of the submissions have to be presented in 1 minute on a big event in front of maybe 500 coworkers. nI submitted an idea because I really think that the idea is good. The voting is over now and I have to present it... nI know that this is a success because I am among the top 5. But I am so incredible afraid. I have to go on a stage and speak in a microphone. There is nothing on earth that could be more terrible for me. My coworker would help out and present it. But it was my idea and I finally could be someone at my workplace. I could have a job-related success. So many people would know me. I could win. But I can't imagine me walking on that stage. nI have to decide tomorrow.nTwo options: nOption 1: I could do it, don't sleep until wednesday, don't think of anything else until wednesday, maybe do something incredible embarrassing on stage, maybe win, maybe be embarrassed because I lost.nOption 2: My coworker could do it, not many people would know that it was my idea, regret it until the end of my life, but sleep.nnI have to say that I involved my coworker in a early stage (mainly because I thought he could present it) and he helped with the power point for the idea and so on. So I could see us as partner for this project and it is okay that he presents it.nnI hate being afraid of everything. :(nnSorry, english is not my mother tongue...
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SA is the worst...you have to completely lose out on the excitement of winning the prestige like you've done because you're freaking over the next part, here. My advice would be to spend some time celebrating the fact that you came up with a concept that many other people will find value in. Then put together the 1 minute. It'll go by like a blink. And then, when it's time to present, focus on person. It's terrifying, but I promise you that it'll be so fast you won't even realize when you're done. Plus, you'll finally be able to actually be proud of your real accomplishment here : coming up with a valuable and original idea. You're a badass.
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I can't wait for it to be over. I get depressed, suicidal, and cry. Makes me feel like a loser. My dad died a few years ago. He made the holidays fun. I'm not close with my mom. I'm single right now I'm missing being in a relationship just because at least I could of gone to his family's Christmas and feel a part of a family. .....currently crying in my car.
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I'm sorry you're struggling too. My family fell apart after I lost my grandfather in 2020 and nothing has been the same since, I dread the holiday season every year. Currently laying in bed zoinked on benzos trying to just survive through this stupid shitty holiday. Nobody ever gets it because it seems like everybody else has a picture perfect family with a jolly good Christmas and it low key makes me sick
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my name is opal, im 16, non-binary(they/them), and i am having a hard time right now. i see things and im deadset on my friends hating me. nmy best friend is very stressed from exams and i don't want to be manipulative so i am not texting her... nni'm just looking for a nice reddit night owl who wants to help me calm a bit down while i'm this far down. nnmy mom has bpd and schizophrenia, i'm really scared that i have that too, i see things and people and i'm very depressed right now but a few hours ago i was very happy/manic and hanging out with my friends. nme thinking my friends don't like me is a common occurrence, i'm a very chatty person and i feel the need to comment on everything in everyone's conversations (i hate that about myself) and some times if i say something they either ignore it or look at me like i'm annoying or stupid. it really freaks me out.nni just took a shower, and it took me 20 mins to get out after i had dried off, because i'm home alone and i swore a guy was standing outside the door.nas i'm writing this i keep seeing him out the corner of my eye. i'm very scared and afraid of the dark.
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I'm so happy to hear that! And it's definitely a two-way street, hearing you voice your own fears helped me better understand my own, so a thank you in return is in order (: Here's to a brighter tomorrow!
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As a child three girls bullied me for a bit. In high school people were mean and I felt alone and towards the end I had to cut people from my life because of how cruel they were. Now I'm at uni and once again I'm attracting toxic people. My roommate is a manipulator so I'm always alert when she's speaking to me. A guy showed interest in me but turned out to be just a flirt who gains power from other peoples feelings. What is it about me that attracts toxic people all the time. I've tried to keep it all together and keep working but I can't because I'm just so empty inside now. There's no point in crying and there's no point in fighting so I just sit, sigh and keep trying to keep up with the world. I'm a good person - I'm kind to everyone. Yet people don't seem to care about me, I'm not even sure who to trust anymore or what to do. I'm going home a lot now even tho I have a place at uni to avoid the people there. Out of all the shit I received in high school I worked my ass to get to uni in hopes of a better future - but all that future is, is just work and being hurt and let down by people over and over again. I'm so sick of it. You know what's the best thing you could be in this world, is a mean selfish person. Because you'll get far. If you're like me and kind, you'll just get picked on by the world and feel forever lost and hopeless and alone,
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People notice just from one glance, if you are easy to influence or not. And then, they will take advantage of that. I don't exactly know what it is about your
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I've been invited to a house party on Friday evening by one of my fellow students at university. In my 3.5 years of studying there this is only my 3rd house party (thanks to Corona but more so myself), so the whole setting is still pretty new to me. And this one is special, because there are 80% people I don't know at all and the rest I know only barely. I've chickened out so many times faced with opportunities like this and I've promised myself this time I'll go, even if it sucks. nnThat said, any tips on how to make this at least a bit easier on myself before and during? Usually I'm so afraid I just end up standing in a corner like a weirdo after a while, but I won't be that guy anymore. Thank you in advance!
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Hi. I can impart some advice & resources I've recommended to others.n n1. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) & Exposure Therapy. Kati explains CBT: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=g7B3n9jobus. Exposure Therapy for SA explained: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bUw0Jw5vuqg. Dr. Aziz Gazipura's youtube channel & book '..Solution to Social Anxiety' explains everything very well & was immensely helpful. Also, the work sheets from 'Managing Social Anxiety': https://www.oxfordclinicalpsych.com/mobile/view/10.1093/med:psych/9780195336696.001.0001/med-9780195336696-appendix-2. I still write something like form 7.1 every other day.nn2. Self Esteem. It may sound corny, but actually identifying what makes you happy, goals you want to achieve & actually working towards them, & what you may already like about yourself will boost your self esteem & help your social anxiety. Check out, Nathanial Brandon's 'Six Pillars of Self-Esteem.' Youtube has summaries as well as the whole audiobook. Also, David Burns's 'Feeling Good' is a great book. Also, the concept of 'radical self-acceptance' from Brandon as well as Brene Brown is great. 'The Gift of Imperfection' by B. Brown.nn3. Ignore or never use Social Media. People only post the positive things happening in their lives, not the other 1/2, 2/3, or 3/4 that sucks. It's not an accurate or full reflection of what's happening in the real world.nn4. Time, Work, & Patience. Realize no change will happen overnight. Perhaps in a year with daily work & patience. I still have some social anxiety, but the key is that I've learned to manage & soothe my anxiety. Be patient. 'Break a Leg!'
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My social anxiety started when I was 11. Throughly middle school and high school I was never able to make a single friend. It really sucks knowing how much I missed out in my adolescents and seeing all my peers go to the beach, movies, shopping and enjoy their senior year together. but it scares me more knowing this could be my life forever. And I'll miss out again in my 20s and before I know it I'm 40 and still alone. I don't want to live this way but I have no idea how to meet people or even get myself to talk… I'm so tired of this life
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What do u do when you don't believe ur deserving of self love?
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Hey! Socializing is a struggle for me and its led to loneliness. I'm not able to get anything prescribed to me, are there any natural medications available for purchase at places like Walmart? Should I try bringing a tea with me? Thanks so much, I'm open to any advice.
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Granted that it's kinda expensive, but there's oxytocin spray. Oxytocin is
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People who have had bad physical symptoms like shaking,dry voice,walking awkwardly,stiffness,poor or no eye contact etc. nHow did you do it?
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>attempts at exposure just makes me dissociatennFuck. That is what I get too.
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I'm too embarrassed to say anything to anyone and my anxiety is the only thing keeping me alive
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Hi, you are loved and needed here. I'm just one person on the internet but I know how you feel! You aren't alone and I hope you keep fighting. I know this sounds silly, but I've recently been trying to learn how to participate in r/outside so I have something to take my mind off things while also keeping me busy at home and let's me interact with people at my own pace. Even if I'm just reading posts. I know it's odd advice, but it helps my anxiety and makes me feel like less of a shut in. Human interaction is nicer when it's not on a face to face level, for me at least. Truly hope you start feeling better and find the support you need.
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I wanted to get better at my job. That was my main focus today. I was so eager to learn and improve but it was all for nothing. It was all in my head, how i was going to be perfect. I wasted my time once again by getting a job i shouldve known id suck at. I dont think ill ever overcome my sa. My life might as well just fucking end.
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Hey man.nnSorry to hear about what happened. I went through something like that recently, (moved cities for a job i thought i would love, ended up not being productive/showed up late due to my SA and ultimately got fired.) i job searched for a few months until i got a call from a guy i worked with at the job i lost. i now work from home for the same pay doing less work, in a much less stressful, and way more comfortable environment. it's really helped me to get over my SA and become more comfortable with myself. Best of luck finding a new position.
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Hello everyone!nnI just had my first therapy session a few days ago & I'm here to tell any person that is hesitant or doesn't think that seeing a therapist will help that it actually does really help!nnI struggled with anxiety and depression for a couple of years before finally deciding to listen to my friends and family and get help. I went to my doctor this past January and got diagnosed. I was prescribed medication and referred to see a therapist. I only took the medication and never went to the therapist because I thought the medications by themselves would help and I was also too anxious to go a therapist.nnFinally after more than 3 months, I got the courage to meet a therapist and after even just the first session, I felt a huge relief and finally feel like there might be hope.nnI understand that not everyone has the same things that they struggle with or causes for their anxiety and depression. I also understand that some people need to go through a long journey of healing before they see any improvement. But for that one person that still can't get the courage to go see a therapist, take this as a sign, I've been there.nnJust take this first step. You're worth healing and thriving. You have nothing to lose and you can always change therapists if you don't like the one you go to, but you'll never know if you never try.nnPro tip: if you're a college student, see if there is counseling at your school, usually offered through student wellbeing services. That's what I did. You most likely already pay for the service with your tuition, might as well use it! Also great for students that don't have insurance/can't afford seeing a therapist.
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aw thats good. i wish i could see one but i dont trust people that easily irl especially complete strangers ugh and i always worry i'd get into trouble if i say too much or end up getting sent away. obviously its different online as u can say whatever and ppl are like
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My friend (we'll call A) has been showing some really bad signs recently. She's been barely online, and when we checked in on her she's been nonstop working. She says she been studying all the time so she can
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Sounds like depression. You have every right to be frustrated and concerned about her well being. Only she can decide to help herself, but next time you bring it up, approach it differently. Don't refute what she says, instead inquire into why she believes she is not good enough as a daughter, and good enough as a friend. Try to understand how incredibly stressed she is, it will take time, but don't add to the stress by dismissing her claims. Because while what you want to do is help, when you tell her “no you're not” she's very likely hearing “I don't have time for your concerns, that's ridiculous!” This builds walls when we need to build bridges for her. Never force her into clarifying, if she doesn't want to clarify in the moment, it's likely she will in the future, so just do something like “Why do you believe you need to be a better daughter/friend? If you're not comfortable talking about it, I understand, I'm just concerned about your well being because it's clear you're under a lot of pressure. If you want to talk, I'll be here for you.” There IS a time to suggest treatments/seeking further counseling. But now's not that time.
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I've been dealing with anxiety and some depression for a whole month now. I've been taking medications for it here and there but not lasting more than a day cause I can't take the horrible side effects they give me. Ever since my anxiety & depression started I've been with little to no appetite at all. I sometimes forget to eat all together & have no desire to eat almost every day. Any of you have any suggestions as to how to increase appetite? I find it so hard I almost want to puke after I eat a fast food meal. It's the worst.
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What are the side affects that your getting from mirtazapine?
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Even if I know the answers, or get asked simple questions, I find myself fumbling and being overly nervous and just rambling.
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I do this too. sometimes I feel like I know what im trying to say and then here comes the anxiety telling me that im not making sense and that im sounding like I have peanut butter stuck in my mouth
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I met them once through my youth center and we went to a college basketball game, which wasn't too bad. I didn't talk much and I struggled to find what to say. I felt awkward and anxious. The rest of the people seemed to get along fine, besides me. There was one other shy person, but I ran out of things to say to him. The camp is with the same people from the basketball game. nnWe're suppose to do arts and crafts, tug-of-war, basketball, volleyball, horseback riding. The only things that interest me are basketball and volleyball. We're staying there Friday, Saturday, and leaving to go back home Sunday morning. The basketball game was good for me as it was only one day, but me staying over night at camp is a different story. My anxiety is through the roofs and I don't know what to do. I know my anxiety won't get any better if I don't go, but fuck.
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Go for it! I wish I'd done more things like this. It may not go well, but it may also go really well and you could make some pretty good friends.
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Every job description is all 'be able to communicate with ease' or 'makes a deep emotional bond with customer' or something along those lines. what do you do?
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Unless you're weak like me. I feel like my anxiety got a a tiny bit better most of the time I tried working but then my depression overtook and literally swallowed me each time, the last time resulting in an attempt… because it's so stressful and it's not like it's only at work. I dread it before work, then I'm at work and I'm trying not to have a panic attack and then I get back and think about all of the things that I said or did wrong or others said or did etc. so I end up just having a breakdown after like 2 months of working.
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but i cant because no one knows me, and i have no personality and am boring, every time i tried to make a friend in the past i got rejected
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Aye that's not at all what I meant. Thank you for pointing that out.nI struggle SA myself, I know how tough day to day life is and how lonely it can make you feel.nI read a post some time ago about letting people make up their mind about you by themselves instead of doing it for them. It opened my eyes and helped me but of course that doesn't mean that it'll help everyone. I never meant it as insult or criticism, sorry if it came across differently!
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,I've got two choices.nn1. A room in a house with 4 people. Nobody knows each other and its a very quiet house. I can stay in my room the entire time and it won't change a thing. It's business as usual I guess.nn2. A room in a house of 6 people. All of them know each other and party hard all the time. They also drink and smoke all of which I never do and never intend on doing. They said no pressure and that they were ok with that but I don't know. Im not sure though. My main purpose is to make new friends and possibly meet a girl but I don't know if I can handle that. It's outta my comfort zone but it might be too much and I'm not sure how I'll fit in. I just have a radically different lifestyle too and although im an extrovert and not usually socially anxious, being around loud and rowdy people just breaks me.nnDammit what should I do? PLEASE HELP I NEED TO MAKE A DESICION IN 2 HOURSnnnEDIT= ITS A 4 MONTH LEASE BTWnnnEDIT 2= it's not much of a crazy party house. They have a party once a sememester. And mostly friends coming over go into people's rooms. I took it cuz I realize my social anxiety isn't that bad and it's only 4 months. I can always back out if i have to, but I should experience it at least once. Plus I'll spend most of my time in school anyways, so I took the house
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Done. Thank you /u/0yrus. I'd give you gold if my uni wasn't so fucking expensive. Also add me as a friend
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I don't.
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Thanks for replies and upvotes. Recently I had a dream about having fun with my childhood friend. Was sad after I eventually woke up.
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Hello everyone I've been lurking for a little while. I'm a sufferer of anxiety in my 30s, most recently manifesting as social anxiety. It comes and goes in waves (sometimes including panic attacks in certain triggering situations). I feel a lot better and accepting of it now than maybe 6 months ago but it still slows my life down at work and outside of it. nnOne of the things that has helped me is putting myself in situations each day to be a sort of 'muscle' training and progressively ramping up the 'difficulty'. After a while though it's little difficult to 'find' situations especially as everyone's worlds are a little smaller/less going out. It's been especially useful when I know something bit is coming up - a talk that makes me nervous for example.nnWho would be up for a regular support group Zoom call?nnThe format I thought of was max 6 people per group, everyone committing to staying for 30 minutes, you say beforehand what you want the audience to do (just listen, ask questions or whatever) and you turn up and have 5 minutes practicing whatever you need to practice, then become an audience member and support the others. nnFor me I would find it super useful as a safe space with people in the same position and a way to continually 'train' when other opportunities are lacking.nnI'm happy to organise it and kick it off if people are interested and treat it like an experiment to see how useful it is.nnI'm in the UK and was thinking initially evening time UK but obviously open to anyone.nnI hope others might find this useful like I think it will be for me
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Am in!
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Every time I go out with friends I'm drinking because of my extreme SA. I go out about once a week maybe twice. I'm just so sick of feeling hungover and accidentally over doing it and making stupid decisions, not to mention the effects it has on you over time. I'm just wondering if I replace this with a benzo such as Ativan? I understand the high risk of addiction, however I'm just at the end of my rope. I want to go out with friends but I can't stand always having to drink.
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Yeah pretty much gin. It's annoying though because I still feel shitty the day after and people wonder why I'm always drunk. & I'm pretty light so I have a hard time not getting trashed. I have to drink before interviews and during stressful situations. I'm working with a psychiatrist and a therapist but I'm just frustrated with how things are and wanna try something new.
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Just wondering if SA is mostly prevalent in younger adults and it goes away as you get older
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17
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Was it genetic or acquired from life ? I've read that SAD doesnt have a genetic component , its learned behavior from people close to us . But if thats the case , then why do many people who were bullied , neglected , rejected simply not care or move on with life while having other problems like anger issues or other coping mechanisms ? What do you think caused your social anxiety ? What were you lacking in your childhood that made you feel so inferior/outcast?
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My lack of faith in and distrust for others.
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There are now hundreds of posts like 'Boo me, I have social anxiety because I get a little nervous during a speech'.nnIt is bloody annoying.nn/rant
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Well, yes and no. The 'omg this schedule is giving me a panic attack' people, in my experience, have been the ones to treat less-convenient or unmanageable anxiety like you're an alien and tell you to just get over it, and get annoyed when you can't. Since it hasn't happened to them, it doesn't exist and you're either faking or crazy. It is ignorance, but you can't say it's blameless, sometimes it is a problem that people know so little. It's not harmless when someone (especially a superior, or a counselor who should know better) tells you it's all in your head, what's wrong with you, and why can't you just think happy thoughts and will it to stop. And then when this fails to fix you, as it does, well then you must not be trying hard enough.nnBut there's also the insensitivity of some people who actually do have difficulty with anxiety and refuse to cut slack for themselves or anyone else, because if they can handle it, well then dammit so should you. And that can be even more harmful than hearing from people who just don't know better. Some really nasty cutting criticisms come from there, like a kind of redirected self-loathing. It can be so tempting to criticize harshly when you see them failing to deal with something you constantly struggle with. It's an easy trap to fall into because these issues are so damn hard to deal with sometimes. I've caught myself thinking like that more than once. I agree though, it is pointless to play the who-has-it-worse game, everyone loses, and going down that road leads to people getting hurt.
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Hi everybody. I'm new to this subreddit having just discovered it recently.nnHere's my story. I've struggled with anxiety for as long as I can remember. I never thought it was so abnormal, some of the most common symptoms include not being able to stand still, for example after ordering this Americano I'm sipping on once the order is placed I just shift on my feet uncomfortably unsure what to do with my hand between the time it takes to open the cash register and extend it to accept my change. Waiting for a bus and feeling as if people on it are somehow scrutinising me as I walk on. Never know what to say to people as small talk. Laugh uncomfortably when someone is saying something even when I don't find it funny. Sickeningly agreeable at times. Feel like my face is offensive to others even though I'm okay looking. Umm... Glanced across the room at a girl just now and see half of a mans face as he smiles and turns to his girlfriend and first thought is 'he's making a joke about me looking at that girl'. And much much more.. nnSo I got reading about SA after talking with a friend of mine who has quite severe anxiety (on like 3 different meds) and being able to relate to a lot of his worries. Then I read about others experiences with drugs like sertraline and despite a few negative sides here and there it seems to work wonders for an awful lot of people. Now I'm not depressed, but I realise now that my constant anxiety and inability to relax is affecting my life in a bad way.nnI was sure about going to the doctors yesterday, til I lay in bed and started thinking that she will sigh internally and think I'm full of shit. Then it occurred to me that this way my anxiety talking. What is it like to be anxiety free I wonder. I'm missing out on a lot of what life has to offer. Even with girls, I've had the strong eye contact and smalltalk and right up to straight up eye banging and been too anxious to act on it. nnSo I'm looking for some reassurance. I'm right to go talk to my doctor, right?
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Your explanation makes a lot of sense. Best of luck with the medication anyway, I hope the sides become more manageable. nnI'm going to arrange a docs appointment in the morning for Thursday.
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After getting rejected by my crush at a party and humiliating myself by throwing up, constantly feeling like everyone hates me, and constantly not being taken serious by the people around and fucking up everything , I've realized the that I'll probably never get rid of my social anxiety and always be an outcast who can't get a gf, so all Ive been thinking about now is sacrificing everything and putting all my effort into the gym to get strong to compensate for it. Ive already been working out consistently for nearly 2 months and I'm slowly but surely seeing progress. I'd rather be known as an idiot muscle head than a weak, skinny fat 23 year old kissless virgin with no social skills who is a laughing stock
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I wish I had your motivation at 23, instead of beginning to working out at 30.
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I am being bullied at work and it's honestly awful. Everyone hates me and people talk about me within earshot (including my managers). It's taking a huge toll on my mental health and I can't take it anymore. I know I have to leave, but it's like an abusive relationship in that I'm afraid to leave. I'm not really looking for advice, just ranting really. Thanks for listening.
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I caution against getting HR or legal involved. That path tends to make things more antagonistic. If you imply that you could sue, expect HR to let you go. Most companies are more interested in protecting their bottom line over an employees feelings. Usually it is easier to get as new job and more on.
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Please don't say going to therapy. Be concrete. Every tip is appreciated
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What's weird is that this whole pandemic thing has had an interesting side effect on me... I love wearing masks out in public. I don't even care about the virus or whether or not it's required, I just realized I'm more confident leaving the house when I get to hide behind some kind of mask.
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So I have recently given in birth (like 9 months ago) and idk if that's important but ever since then I've felt like an imposter in my own body. I look back at old pictures of myself and it feels like the old me was an entirely different person that never existed. Kinda like I made up this person or skinned them. I feel like an imposter in my own life if that makes sense. Is this normal?
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more than likely its called spiritual n physical transformation...old self ego die ...new self comes..,...ur new way of thinking....and ur soul matures...as preparation to take care of your child...unlocking your power as a mom....but yeah after giving birth feed yourself well your body needs to recover...there's often rumor pass on how new mom gave birth....mommy brain....usually last for 3 months based on asian's say....western version didn't say how long that will last...thats why ppl often say woman sacrifice a lot giving birth....especially if u used a lot of anaesthetic or those pain relief during the progress of giving birth...its gonna have side effect.
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Sometimes my stupidity, while frustrating and embarrassing, is pretty funny.nnEdit: I hadn't checked reddit in ages and didn't realize I had got quite a few responses. Thanks, it's comforting to hear from you all.
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Lol me too - sometimes it seems so stupid that it's funny!nnBut one thing that bothers me, I know that healthcare personal can't be spending time on reaching out each time etc. - but if they're seeing someone with SA and that person isn't coming in or responding, perhaps it would be beneficial to take another approach to reach them, other than
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Hear you all a bit laternnUpdate: going back home. I felt strange, weird and anxious overall, but there were moments when I felt good about myself. I guess and hope practice will make it better.nnI looked at one girl and thought how beautiful she is and did not know how to reach out, so i just asked her if she is often there… not the best intro, but at least i said something. She was polite, but obviously not into it, so i left her alone.nnAnyways, I had no more money to drink, club started getting empty and I started feeling nervous, so I left. Still, I am happy I gave it a try and pushed my limite, this is something I must win against.
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I have had some of my best night going out by myself. I hope you have a blast.
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349k in this sub alone! why in real life I seem like I'm the only one who have social anxiety?
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But then it should show up somewhere isn't itnI totally relate to this feeling, but trust me When i am out and among people, I always end up feeling that I am the only weird one .nnI see everyone else moving around with ease and engaging in activities so comfortably, while I am struggling to even walk normally without appearing clumsy
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