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I've been going for almost two years and have only made a small amount of progress. My therapist is nice and easy to make conversation with, but she really hasn't given me any tools to help myself with my issues. My last session I told her I was feeling kinda unmotivated and she just said
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Two years ago I started taking escitalopram. The effects were hardly noticeable at 10 mg so I tried 20 mg and it helped my social anxiety, which I had also been working very hard on in therapy, to the point where it almost isn't an issue anymore.nnI thought the social anxiety was the root of all my mental struggles, mainly a major depression. Even though I was doing all the social things I thought were a unachievable dream for me, I stayed depressed. After some self-harm periods and some even worse periods, I'm putting in the effort to finally overcome all my demons. nnNow I started on Wellbutrin and everything was great for a couple weeks. Then, college started. I found myself unable to open any books or websites related to my classes. Immediately I was unable to sleep and the tension in my body coupled with light panic attacks, also still barely sleeping at all, has taken a huge toll on my mentality. Right now I'm hanging in there, but I'd like to hear some anecdotal evidence on medicine combinations.nnDid Wellbutrin alongside escitalopram cause trouble for anyone else? My psychologist now wants to start me on Buspar alongside the others, what experiences have you had with that medication? Thanks in advance.
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I took wellbutrin with celexa because I was very depressed even with the antidepressant. The Wellbutrin was very helpful gave me energy I didn't have for a long time and get happy instead of numb. The down side was the lack of sleep! However I smoke weed so that helped me get to sleep. Even now if I need to go back on an antidepressant i ask my dr for it.
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We have been having presentations in my class. It's individual presentations for about 10 mins and It's about ME not another topic BUT ME - this makes it worse. We have been doing a few a day, it's our third day of presenting. I'm gonna volunteer to go first (speaking it out so i can't back out) wish me luck i might pee my pants
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you never know. take baby steps, one day you can do it <3
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I always wear a mask because I don't like people seeing me
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Yup. It helps with anxiety
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I legitimately can't imagine it getting any better. I can't picture myself ever being confident consistently texting a friend to hang out or especially having a SO or even a close friend irl that I can share my feelings with. This thinking isn't going to help me at all, though, so I need to somehow try to stay positive. It's just tough :/
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The only hope is to do exposure therapy, you have to put yourself in that extremely uncomfortable situation or else you'll never get out of your head. Also, alcohol
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Anyone have any tips dealing with this? I become even more quiet and out-of-it because I keep worrying about what will happen when the conversation steers in the direction of girls, sex, etc. I for the life of me can't pretend and say things like
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Do you think that would actually help? If it were me, I'd feel way better if I could maintain the illusion that other people didn't realize what a failure I am. (Even though this doesn't make you a failure, but if it were me, I'd still think that it did.)nnI'm kind-of awful with heart-to-heart discussions... it seems like I always end up accidentally saying something hurtful. Bleh.
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Feels so good to say it. I'm becoming so much more comfortable in social situations and have ppl to talk to now. It really just comes down to trial and error in my opinion. There is hope for everyone I promise!
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What's also helping is to reflect your fears and impressions by writing them down - each and every day. Make it a habit and at some point you'll look back and wonder what you were used to be afraid of and it will encourage you to go even further.
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These are techniques that have cured some people with social anxiety in the past. You could investigate to see if they might help you. All of them are, at a basic level, deprogramming techniques for the subconscious.nn (http://www.emofree.com/eft-tutorial/eft-tapping-tutorial.html)nn (https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=eft+anxiety)nn (http://www.eftuniverse.com/faqs/eft-and-tapping-hundreds-of-case-studies)nn (http://tapyourpower.sourceforge.net/cases/eft_toc.html)nn (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xih8ZE0GfOM)nn (http://www.emofree.com/eft-tutorial/tapping-roots/peace.html)nn (http://www.pstec.org)nn (http://www.thework.com/index.php)nn (http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/loving-what-is-byron-katie/1100320988?ean=9781400045372)nn (http://www.matrixreimprinting.com/)nn (https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=matrix+reimprinting)nn (http://www.sedona.com/Home.asp)nn (https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=sedona+method)nn (http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/happiness-is-free-hale-dwoskin/1013424792?ean=9780971933408)nn (http://www.releasetechnique.com)nn (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8fFvgcvqUhc)nnTwo more general techniques. These aren't techniques that are focused. They change the programming of the brain gradually over time, and also change the structure of the brain.nnMeditation. The gold standard for personal change, can take you places you can't even conceive of now. Since this has been around for thousands of years, there are many variations. Lots of online resources. Pick the technique that appeals to you. Even if it is wrong, it will probably give you a better idea of the next technique you should try. The reason there isn't only one way to meditate, is that every person is different. If the screw is a torx, a philips screwdriver just isn't going to work. nnBrainwave entrainment. This is an imitation meditation technique. If meditation is flying a plane, this is using a flight simulator. Given a program of beats, it entrains the brain to follow the frequency of the beats. There are free and retail programs to do this, light sound machines, and many free and retail audio recordings for sale. You should be able to find free samples on the web. Entraining feels really good. It's hard to describe, but you'll know you are entraining when you experience it.nnIf you keep doing what you are doing, you'll keep getting more of what you are getting. So, even if you decide that these aren't for you, that they are too wild to take a chance on, you should do something different in your life. There's an NLP aphorism that goes, 'if what you are doing isn't working, try something else, anything else, as it has a better chance of working than what you are doing now'. This is outrageous on purpose, to shake up our complacency, that the world has to conform to our inner model of how it is. This doesn't mean that if you are combatting social anxiety, you should jump off a cliff if what you are doing isn't working. Try doing things that might have some chance of working for you, that have at least worked for others. The above have worked, but there are lots of other effective means. You could also investigate techniques that work for curing fear of public speaking, since that is a specific form of social anxiety.
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Thank you for this.
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Heyy umm so hereu00b4s the thing: I would like to show Bad Apple to my parents. Iu00b4m assuming most of you know what Bad Apple is lol. Itu00b4s pretty popular. Anyways, so I just like the way the song sounds, and the way the video looks, so for some reason I want to show it to my parents. But like, I have this anxiety in my head like
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Could slip and fall on the way there. Be careful.
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So I'm a freshman in college (1st year 2nd semester). Our classes are online since I've been new to college life. And my social anxiety is being such a bitch from the start.nnI can't answer in the class and if I'm forced to do it anyhow I am nervous and sweaty af. I don't speak up when my name's being mentioned. nnThis usually costs me my attendance and I get kicked out of my classes. Loss of knowledge as well. Well, loss of teacher assessment scores as far as I can see.nI'm fucked up.
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I can't. I think it's because i just joined today.
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I'm 24 yr old, female. I've had very bad social anxiety mostly all my life. Not from something specific. I've just always been anxious. Afraid of people. I can't ever talk to people, or make friends. I hear people but don't listen. While someone is talking, my mind is looking for a response and most of the time is not able to find a response and so it's like my brain just freezes and I don't know what to say. I was with my kids dad for 3 years and was almost always awkward around him. Couldn't sing/dance or express myself around him. And I could feel his hate toward me for that. That's the main reason I left, because of my mental health. I couldn't be happy because of my anxiety. I Tried smoking and that actually makes it 100x worse. At work, it's horrible. Do you know how when you first start a job you may be anxious around people like the first few days or even the first week? We'll I am anxious and awkward like the whole time I am working there, (even if it's like 3 years I've been working there)and it's mentally exhausting and draining, affecting my life negatively. It's like I'm boring and have no sort of personality. I do, but it's impossible to open up to anyone!, I'm such a people pleaser. I started taking alcohol shots before going to the store or anywhere out in public. But I've stopped drinking because I'll be starting meds. I am starting Lexapro and I am very hopeful that this will be beneficial for my anxiety. Anyone can relate? Anyone tried lexapro? What was your experience ? Desperate to know lol any tips with these meds ?
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M 23, I tried 4 types of antidepressants and none worked for me. Also my social anexiety is so bad that I dont talk to coworkers even if im working for years there. Because of that I get bullied so I would quit the job, they r getting too much annoyed by me being there.
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Idk if this will get taken down, but I'll share anyways. So I got over my social anxiety of going to meet this girl, I was super nervous, but I went and all went well. I left with some regret of “I can't believe I did this”, but also I feel happy and confident at the same time, all of a sudden now I'm riding this high of happiness even though I had some regret of going??? I'm not sure what it is, but my confidence in speaking to people and women in general has increased, I guess I don't feel so nervous around women anymore. Part of it might be because if things don't work out with a girl I'm flirting with, I can still go meet an escort the same day and do what I want. Any other dudes have a similar experience?nnEDIT: I'm not encouraging you guys to do it. But I haven't been with a women since my gf 4 years ago, and what I was trying to get from women by flirting and what not, I got so easily. It changed my mindset and the anxiety around trying to get laid. The fact that I don't really need the girl I'm flirting with to sleep with me, like she won't, Kiki will.
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I had somewhat of a sex life to back in college, but after I graduated and I broke off with a long term gf, it's been dry for years. I didn't think what I did would be so therapeutic tbh
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I went to my doctor around 6 months ago about my SAD, he said that CBT (Cognitive behavioral therapy) is an effective, non-medication treatment that can drastically reduce social anxiety.nnThe thing is, I'm not sure if it is even worth bothering. A few years back I stumbled upon something called iPower, any AtheneWins fans may be familiar with iPower. It is 3 principles to simply give you a better life.nnI was checking out their videos/forums, and something I saw really hit home. It was when someone had said that if you actively think about your anxiety, it is entirely irrational.nnI have always known it to be irrational, but this got me thinking. Realistically, any social judgement someone makes of me is entirely irrelevant to my life and will, in no way, play any role in effecting my future.nnThis helped me a lot, but I still suffer from SA very badly. From what I've heard, CBT is basically just making you think in a similar way to what I just mentioned.nnI don't imagine this would be particularly beneficial to me, considering the failure of having that state of mind in the past.nnHas anyone had CBT and seen it help a lot? If so, do you think it is worth me giving it a go?
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Thanks for seeing what I was trying to do there. For a second I thought about including some kind of
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I can't win. Simple.nnAt least drunk me has a good time, but sober me has to live with her consequences…
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And this way of thinking turned me into a full blown alcoholic. I'm learning now that people do like the sober me… it's just a long journey to come to that conclusion for myself as well.
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My friend is a mathematics genius, and I'm wondering if he has difficulty interacting and communicating with people. Our talks seem very one-dimensional, stilted, and pedantic. The way he talks is very over the top formal and almost robotic and mechanical-like. He rarely shares emphasis on his personal feelings about certain topics and opinions. When he sends me texts, it feels like I'm reading a formal pamphlet, and not his true feelings. Every time we meet, our conversations do not flow properly, he dominates conversations, and basically only talks about his own interests, which is math and geography. It almost feels like I'm listening to a lecturer drone on and on. I feel that he plans and recites our conversations before meeting me and our other friends. I really admire many traits, but I'm a little worried about his social behavior, it simply does not feel natural at all. He is also from another country, and not from the U.S., so perhaps there is a language barrier to this conundrum as well. He is also extremely devoted to his studies, rarely going out as well. I just never met someone who speaks so mechanically without giving their own opinions -- conversations do not seem to be a form of relaxation for my friend.
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You'd have to get into his head to know whether he has social anxiety or not. From what you described it seems like your friend is plainly shy, uncomfortable with vulnerability and unsure about his
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I don't have money to get therapy so feel free to drop your methods
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Therapy can help, but isn't necessary if you do the research yourself. There's a lot of books on SA that are great and not expensive.nnCould share same methods that helped me if you're interested. But honestly, self-education and finding what works for you is the best way.
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idk if its a side effect of the medicine I'm on but when I get mad its like my head feels funny and I can't think correctly. Its like I shut down.
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1. What medication are you taking?nn2. Are you ingesting THC or any other street drug?nn3. Have a look at all the material at the link below and links therein. If the shoes fit, click the *second* link below.nn( https://www.reddit.com/r/ResponsibleRecovery/comments/bmbq66/misunderstanding_the_meaning_of_dissociation/) nn[Memory Retrieval,
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25 and I'm mentally stuck in age 18-20 and it feels weird and sucksnnEdit: I did not expect this many upvotes and comments. Thanks to everyone for sharing and making me feel a little less alone. Much love
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24 here but act like 18. True, really feelin dumb sometimes.
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I feel like shit
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sorry to hear that, but happy birthday!! hope you feel better<3
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So I'll admit… I definitely tend to ask people about my looks and personality, and keep asking people if I'm ugly or not. This has been a problem since I was in early high school (I'm M23) now. I know that people don't like to answer that or if they do it just makes them really uncomfortable or awkward. However I always feel that I'm killing the vibe just being there and don't want to be doing that, or I feel that people are off-putted or disgusted by my looks and i feel the pressure building up which causes me to ask. This doesn't happen that much when it's a small group or just a 1-on-1 session, but in a big group, especially with people I know with relationships, I tend to become more self-conscious. How do I fix this?
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Although I'm still insecure about my looks, what stops me from seeking reassurance is understanding that whatever answer I get from people, I'm still going to feel ugly (because the problem isn't actually my looks, it's what I think of myself). I noticed when I get compliments from people I actually feel worse because I don't believe them nnAnother thing, everybody's opinion about your looks will be different so none of it really matters anyway. Some people will think you're good looking, some people will think you're ugly and there's nothing you can do about it. nnBut what you CAN do is have compassion for yourself and try to flatter your own features. Whether this is getting a new hair cut, working out, taking care of your skin etc. Learning to accept yourself is a life long process so don't beat yourself up if you have down days
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It's so strange reading about how people with SAD don't like their dancing or dance but feel insecure about it at parties. I don't know if maybe my problem runs even deeper than social anxiety, but i can't even imagine how to dance. Like what does that even mean? I can't just
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I never dance sober lmao
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I've never really addressed all my mental health issues which has ended up absolutely horrible for me, I have developed numerous eating disorders and other shit. I am currently in the process of getting an ADHD-PI formal diagnosis (I have been informally diagnosed) and I know that's a massive step for me since hopefully having access to medication and other assistive resources will improve my life a lot. I've never been the type to open up to people, but I know I meet the criteria for a bunch of other stuff like depression and social anxiety, as well as an eating disorder that I plan to keep secret as I can for now, until I'm at a weight where I'm comfortable undergoing treatment. Will getting diagnosed with these things actually help or is it just going to add a bunch of pointless labels? My parents already don't believe I have ADHD and think my psychologist and I are just exaggerating, and I'm scared by getting diagnosed with other things too they'll just get angry at me and think I'm picking up fake labels to excuse my 'laziness' and 'the way I feel sorry for myself when I have a great life'. I am struggling so bad with my ed and would consider telling my mum, except when she caught me throwing up more than once she didn't really care and just got angry at me/didn't think it was a real problem. She's also just ignored the fact I starved myself for 9 months straight and got jealous when I lost 40 lbs to be really underweight 'without trying'. I know ignoring all my issues led to this in the first place, and I know I need to get help before I spiral even further, but I'm terrified of opening up to people and I'm terrified of completely fking up my life
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Do you have a plan in place for treatment once you have been formally diagnosed? There is a lot of value in ADHD medication & a lot of value in ADHD treatment - both of which begin with a diagnosis. However there's not a lot of value in a diagnosis if you don't actually use the medication or get the treatment.nn> I know ignoring all my issues led to this in the first place, and I know I need to get help before I spiral even further, but I'm terrified of opening up to people and I'm terrified of completely fking up my lifennThis might be one of the healthiest things a person on this forum can say. So much of the time, people just want to vent or want to blame external factors. It sounds like you're at the place in your life where you understand how your behaviors impact your outcome, believe in your ability to change the course of your life & are ready to take those steps. I know how scary it is, but that is a very good combination.
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It's my first post here so I wanted to tell my story. Since the very beginning of my childhood, I remember that I was a person who kept opinions to own-self. I did not like exposing my opinions, feelings, emotions, reactions to people. I was not distressed so much back then but it has been debilitating as I am in my adulthood. Since I was always like this, I thought this is the way I am. It is normal and everybody must be the same way. But, this is a problem. A problem that keeps on making me hold back my life. I cannot do anything that involves participation with other people. I am better when I am alone. nnI am knowledgeable, academically oriented. I was a lot more creative when I was young but that creativity only revolved around tasks which I could do it on my own, at my own time, at my own place. Like reading, playing the guitar, flute, drums, creating short movies, singing. But I could not do more than play by myself. I could not form a band or jam with people or take music to the next level. I was not comfortable around people because the main reason was I did not have any control over how someone feels about a thing. I could not keep up with everybody. When I wanted to jam, nobody else did. They wanted different things. I could not find friends and just try to form a band.nn I could not make it good on youtube because I was not comfortable with the idea that I would need to have many connections with people. I need to work with people to make short films or music. There I didn't do anything. I did not think about going extra step to actually be serious about being on youtube. I had the skills, I was creative, but social anxiety kept me from doing it more. I didn't know what the problem was back then. But when I look back at life now, I realize it is. If only I could be comfortable around people and be more social, I could pull off so many desires. It sucks to think about it. nnI am not doing that bad professionally though. I am in an academically demanding job. I know what I need to know but the thing that has now pushed me into depression is the fact that I don't feel confident about myself even though I have a lot of potential in me. I feel like I am socially awkward. I want to make good relationships but I don't know what stops me from doing it. It is so uncomfortable to talk about yourself because it's like you're totally in a different page than anybody you are talking to. So I tend to just be quiet and listen. If I do make friends, it is because I listen to them attentively. I don't connect with the friends I make because I cannot tell them exactly how I am feeling, what my opinions are. And it's like people like me a lot, look up to me..but I don't really feel good being around them. Because they don't even know me.nn I can go on and on. So if anybody can relate to this please share your opinion.
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first of all i lost weight, good haircut, clothes, hyegene. then it was watching thousands of hours of a guy doing a livestream where he goes around talking to strangers. I analyzed the fuck out of it and made bullet points, I set small goals at first, like today I will practise just a tiny thing like maybe asking something in a shop. Anyway years go by and using the 'fake it till you make it' approach ive gotten to the point where I knew the outcome of every possible interaction and it just stopped being scary, I started projecting confidence naturally and stopped giving a fuck about anything, like in my head I knew the outcome of everything, even if someone was rude to me I knew how I would handle it and thankfuly not a single person was rude, you would be amazed just how friendly most people are as long as you portray yourself in the right way. The starting point was exausting, scary and I was crying inside but after 4 years it was like I was a completly different person.
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Sorry if this is a poor post but I am just super excited right now.nnI am a 22 year old guy who just got his license about an hour ago. Social anxiety has prevented me from doing this for the past 7 or so years. Just the idea of being on the road with so many people scares me, let alone actually taking the driving test with a stranger judging me.nnFor those past 7 years I have been able to get here and there thanks to a good public transport system and selfless friends willing to pick me up. I always felt super guilty when my friends picked me up but they never seemed to mind. I've had my permit for about half a year now but never did anything with it out of fear. I only went out when i was forced to, and through that I got enough practice where I was confident enough on the road, but I never took the initiative to make an appointment to actually take the test. Well I did once, but chickened out at the last minute.nnAfter many times of having to have my friends pick me up I decided enough was enough, and I set another appointment. Then proceeded to not practice at all. In my mind, i told myself that if I didn't practice I would have a good reason to chicken out again. If I don't feel ready I shouldn't take the test right? nnYesterday I spent the day debating on what I was going to do. It was either let my social anxiety win and chicken out, or try, and see what happens. I thought about all the times my family and friends had given me rides and decided that I was going to try, not for myself, but for them. I went out for a final practice drive.nnIt was terrible. Knowing the test was the next day made me so nervous I did some really stupid things I knew I did wrong immediately after I did them. After pulling into the DMV after a practice test with my mom I started crying. Just thinking about the people who saw me do those things and then have to come in the next day to have a stranger tell me I was bad at driving. I was frustrated and angry. That night I again contemplated chickening out. But I again told myself I had to at least try, not for me but for my friends and family. I could sacrifice my comfort if it was for them.nnSo this morning, I went to the DMV and am visibly shaking as I wait in line to set up the test. Sitting in my car waiting for the instructor was even worse. We do all the pre-test checks and she gets in. Too late to back out now. So off we drove.nnAnd... it wasn't that bad! the instructor told me what to do and I did them. I was too busy being focused to be nervous. The instructor was very pleasant, simply telling me where to go without any comments or small talk. Before I know it, we are back at the DMV. She then tells me I passed! Not a perfect score, but I had done well enough. I could not stop smiling. I still can't stop smiling. While driving is still something I don't really look forward to, Knowing I have taken that step makes me happy.nnSorry for this long post. I just wanted to share my story, for anyone who may be dealing with the same thing. I know I searched this subreddit for help and am hoping anyone in the future looking for help may stumble upon this and realize they can do it. I believe in you! :)
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Congrats. Make sure you drive a lot so you can be more comfortable asap.
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I am close to scheduling an appointment with a psychiatrist and want to have a better idea if it could be the right idea.
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I take that too. It truly helps
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At 39/F, I still have crippling social anxiety. It has been the bane of my existence. I have turned down so many opportunities throughout my life because of this. My voice is overly soft/low and I can't project....I'm literally afraid of using my voice.nnThis is so embarrassing and also a catalyst for my suicidal ideations. No one feels bad for you when you're a shy adult. I worry about my future.
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I like your idea about channeling badass-ness through a challenging activity. I've been ostracized my entire life because of my quietness....When I worked in retail, this woman I waited on said I LOOK so shy and quiet and like I'm afraid of everything. She had the nerve to laugh at me too! I still boils me to this day.nnI'm tired of being perceived as weak and timid.
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I truly can't do this anymore. Terrified of dying but it can't be worse then this never ending anxiety. I can't even hide it anymore, meds don't work, and it's destroying my life - professionally I'm pretty much done and personally my issues have chased literally everyone away. I'm too old to start over. And I don't think I can anyway. I'm trying to find new homes for my dogs. I don't want to do this anymore.
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I'm virtually in the same boat. I'm 32 and just asked Alberta Health Services today if they've updated the application form yet for MAID to reflect the new criteria which includes mental illness. People will tell you
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I have like 2 or 3 and i don't consider them close either,so not sure if that counts.nn(https://www.reddit.com/poll/x40epa)
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I met three close friends on tinder. Yes, really. And a guy and a gal at college
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I am constantly feeling bottled up and alone. I feel like I have no one to turn to to talk to about the issues im going through because of stigma and social norms. I also don't want to be a burden to my friends. Does anyone have suggestions for resources?
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think i might try Shimmer Care out if anyone has tried before? my friend said good things
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So I wanna know if yall also have this problem cause I do to. So let's say I wanna ask a teacher for help I stop because I start to get nervous because I think I'm gonna be judged by the teacher and I think I'm stupid.
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When you understand that life is not just about you. That everybody has questions, just different ones and those who don't are dumb. That people who laugh at you are dumb. That only you should matter for yourself. You might finally have enough confidence to ask your question and get an answer without caring about the judgemental persons.
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Here me out: When you are around the more outgoing, fun friends, partners, co- workers etc you feel more comfortable? Those people that can easily pull you out of your shell nnThen you have the people who are guarded, more introverted like yourself who make being social a challenge. You may even work up the courage to start a conversation but you hit a dead end with every opportunity like you go u201cI love cheeseu201d then they go u201cI hate cheeseu201d (you keep this going with no common ground) nnThen you have the extroverted people who only acknowledge extroverted people. This is where my highest level of social anxiety comes in (unless I may have had a few drinks). They leave you out cause you're not budging then turn around to say something rude like u201cyou can talku201d or u201cwhy are you so quiet we don't biteu201d nnAs someone who struggles with SA, I feel as I've gotten older the first situation (the comfortable outgoing peeps) brings out my best. Sometimes I have to be around someone multiple times to finally open up. I also feel like when it comes to co-workers I start out only talking about work related topics unless someone bring up another subject. Also, there are situations I surprise myself actually put effort in talking. nnI feel like it's more selective social anxiety because normally when someone else takes the time to talk to me (mostly RL) then I do try to engage. It is rare I do small talk with strangers and start the conversation first.
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I like the example you gave about the cheese. I can imagine some bitter twisted old guy snarling back with that retort hahannyh, I feel it's worse for me in work. I also agree that more outgoing people can make it a bit easier to talk. Some people are just more approachable and this also makes it easier I believe.nnI think this
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I've gotten out of it for two years but ran out of excuses. I feel so awkward. Called off today bc I had two meetings. Might have to go to them anyways. Idk. Any tips ? I'm thinking having it aimed towards the ceiling idk. I'm scared someone will call me out for that
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I stopped looking at my own camera to help me from focusing on it.
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As someone with SA do you have a job? What kind of jobs do you guys have? Do you enjoy working?
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And watch tv
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Is that right?
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I wonder he'd feel had he been in your shoes.
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My psychiatrist told me not to drink caffeine because it would cause me anxiety. I'm taking medication, and the medicine says not to drink it either, but all the medications say that!nnIf you're on medication, do you still drink caffeine, and if so, does it cause you problems?
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Therapist here. nnCaffeine inhibits the production of certain neurochemicals that help you to relax and feel at peace (dopamine, serotonin), while also affecting other parts of your brain related to being alert and detecting threats. If you already have anxiety, then essentially your brain is already in this state, and caffeine will only further imbalance it. nnI am on an SSRI and have greatly limited my coffee intake. I would have cut it out entirely, but I also do things like regular exercise, a fairly well balanced diet, lots of water and adequate sleep to further bolster the work that therapy+SSRI are already doing.nnThings to consider.
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Got a temporary job at a mill. Need the money , going broke. Had anxiety attack when I was almost to the place this morning at 6 am. Drove past it. Spent the day doing work at a family members house. Don't know what to tell my girlfriend, she was so excited for me. Want to lie to her. But I fucking hate lying to her. Ahh.. what the fuck. On Lexapro, eat well, exercise. And I'm still stuck in the mud of generalized and social anxiety. Fuck. Got rent this month due. Things aren't looking so good.
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Hey don't be hard on yourself, it's pretty normal to be depressed when having social anxiety, it sucks the living crap out of you, so it's ok to be depressed, just hang in there ok? There is a way out even if in the darkness you are in you can't see any.
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I successfully made an hour-long phone call today for work... something that feels huge to me. I mention it to my family, and of course they don't recognize how hard things like that are to me. To them, it's just another day at the office and no big deal. To me, it feels like I've conquered the world! It's a bit of a bummer... a high five for getting through these things would be nice. So since I can't celebrate my victory with them, I'm celebrating here with you all!
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Good for you OP! This is awesome. Jumping over those difficult hurdles are the hardest...but once you do it once, it will be a bit easier the next time! Keep up the great work.
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I feel like I've always had issues talking to other girls my age. I don't think its a matter of me having different interests or a different personality, or anything like that. I think I do like a lot of things girls my age do. But for some reason it feels like I can't keep up when I talk to them. Like we could be texting and everything is going well, but once we start talking in person it becomes a problem. I feel like I just can't match the energy of most girls that I want to be friends with. I feel like most of the ones I've met are really high energy and bubbly. Its so weird because usually I'm like that when I'm around people I'm comfortable with, but I think I'm afraid that most girls would find my sense of humor weird. I feel like its kind of hard for me to describe, but I do know that I tend to get really shy when talking to them. Talking to them just makes me feel like they are more mature and better than me for some reason. I feel like a lot of them talk differently from me, and for some reason that makes me feel insecure as well. Like if I don't match their voice or words or energy, they're going to think I'm weird or boring. Does anyone else feel this way?
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Not all girls are high-energy, giggly extroverts. Your tribe of chilled-out girls with a weird sense of humour is out there.
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I just got my first job at chick fil a in the kitchen and I'm pretty nervous to start can anyone who has worked in the kitchen at any fast food resturant let me know how your first day went?
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Oh god
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I have this bad habit of picking at my lips since childhood, I found out that it may be associated with my anxiety. I also bounce my leg a lot, I think it's when I'm feeling restless and need to get out nervous energy. Which is many times. nnMy mom notices both these habits and she hates them, she says my lip picking makes my lips look very bad, even though I'm already aware of that, I'm trying to stop doing it. The leg bouncing, sometimes I'll start doing it and I won't realize. She believes this Asian superstition. I think it's like if you bounce your leg, you're shaking off wealth. She has a strong negative reaction when she catches me doing it, only verbally, though she said my grandma would've smacked their legs if they did it. Also that it's a very ‘masculine' thing to do. (I don't really get that one) I'm just like, I'm not doing it on purpose lol.nnAnyways, just wondering if anyone else has bad habits like these that may connect back to anxiety. it's really such a pain
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I touch my nose when I get anxious.
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So tonight I will be turning 21. Exciting, right? Well, it should be. I have great friends, plenty of bars to choose from (in walking distance). nnFor starters, I'm not a big drinker. I'd rather spend a Saturday night at my apartment/friend's place and relax. All of my friends love to go out and get hammered, which I'm all for. It gives me a lot of nice alone time on weekends.nnBut now it's my 21st. But I don't feel like I'm going out for me. At this point, I feel obligated to go out to the bars at midnight (even with class at 10am) because it's the
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That's why I emphasized the
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I'm talking about early life incidents or sudden lifestyle changes which could have made them the way they are.
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Yep, so far most of the answers have been related to cases of bad parenting while growing up.
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I am never enough for anyone. No one actually enjoys talking to me. This girl asked me out to homecoming a long time ago like 2 months ago. We were both interested for three weeks but then something happened. I don't know what but she was just more dry through text all of a sudden. She used to ask how my day was or what I was doing. It felt so great knowing someone cared about me. But all of a sudden she just stopped and seems so uninterested. It is confusing to me because last week I went to her house and we had a great time. Then this Friday she invited me to go to the football game. I went with her and it was awkward because she was just with a lot of friends and I was just out of place because I am not that social. But she ended up basically ditching me in the middle of the game then she told me she was “leaving” but I literally saw her walking around with someone 30 min after she said that. I feel like this relationship or whatever this is, is one sided. I didn't even like her that much in the beginning but over time I started to like her more and more. She is so beautiful. I just feel like some burden because I feel like she feels like she has to hang out with me just because she took me to homecoming. I even denied two girls to be with her. It just hurts
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Yeah I always did she's the one who stopped
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You ever do something cringy and it sticks with you years later To the point that you yell No or WHY or something like that when you think about it
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I almost got hit with a belt for scarring her one time
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My wife has pretty bad social anxiety and was prescribed propranolol. So she is having anxiety over taking this pill on occasion now. So I was looking for anyone who takes this and wondering if you could share your experience on this drug?nnIf this is against the rules of the sub I am sorry and this can be deleted. just looking to help ease my Wife's anxiety of taking this pill. Thanks in advance to anyone who takes the time to read this or respond.
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55kg/~120pounds
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Hey guys, another poll from me. Looking to see what people with SA typically feel when fearing social interactions. Please choose which one best describes you. nnP.S. I've purposely left out some vague feelings such as “afraid of my opinions” since it doesn't specify the root of the fear itself.nnEdit: wow did not think this would blow up. I wish I could reply to everyone but this has given me a lot of material to study. Thank you all for sharing.nn(https://www.reddit.com/poll/wqutuz)
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All of the above!
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Long story short, I'm in my mid-twenties and work is torture for me. I don't fit in at the company I work for. It's a bad cultural fit. All my coworkers are super extroverted and always talking and we work in an open plan office so that's sucks as well. nnI wake up wanting to cry and I'm ready to be done with it all. Help! I'm slowing detonating. I've been at the company for a little over a year.
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It could be for the best, but figure out what you're going to do after you quit. I put in my two weeks without really thinking about it because my anxiety was causing me to have panic attacks at work and I was just miserable. Unfortunately, I didn't have friends to hang out with or much to do outside of school, and school was a major source of anxiety for me. I ended up spending many nights alone in my room, slowly losing my God damn mind. I started having more panic attacks and my mental state started deteriorating. None of my applications were working out, so I forces myself to beg for my job back after a month off. Don't put yourself through that shit.
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Me : existsnnThat one dude at school : Hey, let's judge this person's every move and make snarky comments about zir ALL THE TIME, it'll be funny !nnMy social anxiety : I have been summoned
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Fucking Kevin
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Do you think smartphones are one of the main cause of us not getting over our social anxiety? (Almost everything can be done online nowadays so we don't bother to leave the house anymore.)nn(https://www.reddit.com/poll/tkr3fp)
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Mine literally got more manageable when I started using my phone to talk to people on discord and shit
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I miss playing Leauge of Legends
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When I drink it just makes me feel sick, which means the only thing I want to do is be alone.nnSo good for you, I guess. There have been many times where I wished drinking could fix me, and every time ended badly.
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So February of this year, I did shrooms for the first time. It mostly was very euphoric. I remember it was the happiest I have ever been in my life. I had no fears or worries (which is saying something because I am an extremely anxious person). I went into my room and things turned dark very quick. My euphoria turned into extreme sadness. I went to go lie down on my bed. I was on my side and facing the closet. I instantaneously felt like I transported back to when I was 4 or 5. I was locked in a closet and was having a panic attack. Once my babysitter opened the closet door, she proceeded to molest me. nnI was then transferred from this memory to another traumatic memory. This time, I was the same age and running around the bathroom right after I took a bath. The same nanny came in and shut the door. She told me to go to her, but I started to run away instead. I remember pleading with her to stop this time; I even remember crying and begging her to call my mom. She ignored these requests and turned the bath and shower on (probably to cover up the sounds of me crying or to have a solid
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All I can say is: psychedelics and dissociatives uncovered a lot of repressed shit for me and im in the same boat. I wish I had something more. I still fight and I still try.
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I've come to the realization that my job has caused my mental anxiety and depression. nnIt's taught me to never be happy with what I do or who I am. It's ruined romantic relationships with me as well because I always look at the bad and never the positive and when someone says they aren't interested in me, it hits me harder because I'm always told to be perfect at work.nnEven applying for new jobs has been a terrible challenge. Every rejection has caused me to dive deeper and deeper into depression because I feel like I'll be stuck at this place.
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Hi. When you say your job has caused your mental illness, you are creating a negative emotion which will make it more worse for you. You can say that my job might not be perfect and is full of pressure but I am grateful to have it as many do not have a job at all. This will lead to a neutral emotion towards the job.nnKeep looking for the positive outcomes in the job - short wins - a report well made or anything positive achieved. And pat yourself on the back for it.nnAnother trick is to accept your situation wholeheartedly. With acceptance comes a great deal of peace. Your job is just 8 or 9 hours of your day. Think about the other blessings in your life.nnYou will be fine. If needed, please take a break from work for a couple of weeks. A break is all that you might need now.nnGood luck to you!
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People think your automatically social just because you own a dog. No I don't want to talk and no I don't want our dogs to be friends. Please leave me alone. Next time I will only get a dog if I live in a house. Cats are for apartments lol
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I 100% feel this. nAdd a dog who is reactive on the leash to other dogs and my anxiety just shoots through the roof when he's acting like a lunatic. nOmg
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Like, what is common therapy for Dependent Personality Disorder ? I imagine it would have to empower the person to practice exposure to making decisions. My decision anxiety and paralysis has been kicking my ass lately, having panic attacks. Really just want to get help but the right kind.
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Thanks for the response, I'm seeking CBT therapy now. I've also read up on DBT which I like as well. Thanks again for the kind motivation.
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Hello, everyone. I believe that today is the day the pain finally ends. My life has been huge ups and downs, mostly downs. I had cancer, I lost all my friends, my parents won't let me have anything to myself. I'm just tired and hurting. Today. Since I finally made the decision to actually take my life, I just wanted to thank you all for the support. Well… the one person who actually reached out last time I posted for help. This is my digital suicide note, if you will. nnI'm a 22 year old girl with schizophrenia, and a little more. I have PTSD from years and years have having cancer. I lost all my friends because I'm an idiot. I can't keep anything remotely good in my life and I think it's time I finally move on and free myself of this pain. nnI want my boyfriend to know I love him very much, and that he was the only one willing to stuck by me but I can't handle this anymore. I've been bottling things up for too long and I've recently scared some people away by opening up to them. nnI also want my twin brother to know there was nothing he could do and I appreciate all the good times I've had with him over the years. nnAnd my two best friends that were there for me for many decades, may your lives be as prosperous as someone with actual good luck and fortune. I want you to be happy. nnEveryone else in my family, you meant nothing to me. I was always your punching bag and scape goat. That ends now. Find someone else to take it out on since I'm gone.nnDamned if I don't talk and damned if I do, so this is officially my goodbye. Stay safe everyone. Pain is a real thing.
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I can't afford to get mental help. It sucks… so I gave up on that. I stopped talking about my problems and I'm starting to show cracks.
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A never ending circle of self hate.nnI had the best opportunities. All of them went to the trash.nnI can't always keep up with the
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Did you try an SSRI for it? Five years is a long time. It might be dysthymia rather than MDD.
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I tend to be very private, so I like to assume most of my friends are also very private unless they want to talk about something with me. Most of my friends are also fairly socially anxious, but in different ways and for different reasons...nnThat being said, I try to think that generally being a warm person who is interested in what someone has to say, remembers things are important to people, and if all else fails making my friends food is usually not unwelcome. but I want to learn how to be better at it.nnnWhat have some folks done, socially, make YOU feel welcome, respected, and appreciated as a socially anxious person?
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Reassuring me that it will be fine we dont have to talk much can just have fun around and i end up being the most talktive in that trip. Just being nice does the job and having some insight on SAD make someone a perfect host for us.
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Recently, I got invited by my High school friends for a get together. Little background: I haven't met them for 3 years now. One of them was my rommate in college. nnAnd Lately, I have been fighting this social anxiety of mine by doing exposure therapy. It has worked for me so far. I havent recovered completely but I have never felt better. nnSo, when they asked me. I said yes. Ignoring my racing heart and other background thoughts. nnAfter the invite, I have been having these thoughts again and again. What are they gonna think about me? How will they react? I mean I was the only guy out of touch in this group. nnAnd I realized as the title says that the cause is I hate it when people talk behind my back. So, I have been avoiding people so that they don't get material to talk about me.nnMy question is anyone noticed this too? And how do I counter this??
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We should ask people who have recovered from social anxiety, if these type of thoughts ever go away.
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Male 22, About to finish college despite me not being impress by that in the slightest. been alone for these past 4 years.nnSaw an old middle school friend across the street on my way back from college, I wanted to go say hi!nnThen anxiety hit, I ended up not going and talking to him. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I was beginning to have some dark thoughts.nn
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23 going through the same thing as you. Your last paragraph I realize that I'm also heading that way and just don't know what do. It's just so tough
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Do you ever experience social anxiety in group chats for school or college, like you take ages to reply one single message because you're so scared of what others are going to think of your message so you struggle to make a sentence, and it literally takes you 15min to find what you're gonna say ? nIt happens to me all the time and I feel like it's ruining the friendships I can potentially make with others because there is no spontaneity anymore and people find it annoying, and end up not taking me seriously and laugh at me because I take ages to reply and they've already moved on to another topic in the meantime :( nI just want to know if other people experience that too or if it's just me who's weird
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This is exactly what I do, the people I talk with I can only talk to online so I don't even remember how I used to act around them, no idea how to talk to them now so I just don't
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nLike a lot of us this year has been mentally, emotionally and physically draining. I've always been quite resilient but the last few days I've been breaking out in tears randomly and the world feels likes it's really weighing me down. nI'm not really sure what I'm looking to find here but thought I'd reach out here this isn't actually the account I use normally. Let me summarise here how things are going. nnAt the start of the year I was in therapy dealing with lots of childhood grief due to moving house, school and county nearly every year and having to say good bye to everyone I had ever met in my childhood. This was triggered by falling in love with someone who I was besotted with, she met my parents and I help fundraise for a massive challenge she was doing. I later found out on live TV that she was seeing someone else. nnThen as we all know the wild went into lockdown which was tough on us all. My vice in the past has been dating which made me feel wanted and loved. Lockdown made getting this attention much harder so I turned to fitness like a lot of people. nn3 weeks into lockdown my best friend (male 23) died without an explanation and wasn't covid related. I wasn't really affected much by the grief as I wouldn't have seen him during lockdown anyway. We were sharing a flat together, he was back at his parents during lockdown and I'd been using his room as an office. nnLater everyone else I'd been living with left the flat due to job losses and couldn't stay in the city. Theses guys I was very close to and would have called my closet friends. Other than practical stuff I've not heard from them since they moved out, yes I should also reach out but haven't. nnI was left alone in the flat and had to find new people to move in otherwise the land lord would fill it with strangers. During the period of time alone me (26) met a 48 year old woman we had a few drinks I invited her back I thought we could have lots of fun together if you know what I mean. When she kissed me I freaked out and asked her to leave she didn't but asked where my room was and proceeded to take her cloths of and jump into my bed. We had sex and I really didn't want to it felt so wrong. After I eventually got her to leave but didn't sleep that night as I felt violated. nnLater some new guys moved in we are all really good mates and things are good but as things are opening up I feel that my friend should be here but he's dead. I'm hating my job and don't know what other skills I can use, I worry about wasting my life in an office and if I'm forced to do that I'd rather die but don't really know what the alternative is. nnThis is a little ramble and not sure if that was the right place to post but I felt I needed to get it off my chest.
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There aren't many options left, but you just got to survive with it
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Every time I am brave enough to search for a hair dresser online & find a phone number, I am too anxious to call. When I think I could just go by and ask in person, I am too anxious to even get dressed. Left out to actually go there and speak.nnMy hair right now is a big mess & I just want a nice haircut, but I am standing in my own way. nnDoes anyone feel similar? What do you do to push yourself out of it?
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Try to keep in mind that the only thing the hairdresser / barber is interested in is doing their job and getting paid. Though it may feel like a big deal social interaction to you, to them you're just one of dozens of heads they're going to be trimming every day. So, it's not like they're going to make fun of you or even really give any conversation you have with them a second thought once you're out the door; they're already focusing on dealing with their next customer. nnIt helps me to try and realize that most service professionals are like this — they're just other people trying to do their job and get through their day and I'm barely a blip on their radar no matter what I do.
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19 f & socially anxious + introverted here. This was only for about half a day to start with, but that alone was a big hurdle to overcome. Thankfully I had a friend who was willing to tag along, which made it easier and a little less scary to get into.nnAt first everything felt really strange, cause it was so far out of my comfort zone - but as we got to know the grounds a bit better, we found plenty of fun stuff to do. I was able to interact with some strangers without freaking out too much, and there was a booth to do art (in public, which is also something that normally makes me nervous), and it was nice!nnDancing in the crowd initially felt real weird too, as I'm normally way too embarrassed to dance where I can be seen by even one person, but after a little while I was able to let go and just absolutely went wild to my favourite artist's set. Towards the end I was dancing like no one was watching nnAll in all I had a great day, and although just 7 hours of it was already quite draining due to all the new impressions, I'm willing to say I would do it again - and maybe even stick around longer next time! I'm an experience richer, it was definitely a huge step and I'm proud that I'm finally working on growing after hiding indoors for so long. The next step for me is to meet up with some online friends at an event like this!nnI guess what I'm saying is... If a total worrywart like me can do it, you can too. Consider this your sign to buy that ticket
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Thank you!!! :) I'm already excited!
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I just moved to Austin about a week ago and this city seems pretty nice. Lots of places to go, only problem is, I literally have no friends. I only live with my dad and know no one else here. Even before I moved here, I didn't really have any close friends either but I had co-workers who I would interact with briefly. I also had more family. I don't even know where to meet people here and how to make friends. I've just been so lonely and I think I really need a group of people who can been real friends with me. People who I actually like and I can be myself with, and actually experience fun things in life. My whole life I never had anyone like that, all the friends I made back in school were because I acted like them just to fit in and not get picked on. I've never been to sleep overs or any parties. I feel like I've waisted most of my youth because I was scared. Now I'm a lot older and a bit better mentally and I want to truly be myself. I want to start living life. I just feel like I need friends that I can actually talk to. So if there's anyone in austin with social anxiety, please, give me a text or something. I tried looking for groups in meetups.com but I can't find any for people like me.
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Maybe we could chat online or something. I guess from your name your into gaming? What do you like to play.
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I have a decent job and my own place, but nobody to hang out with and no boyfriend. Weekend after weekend i think this will be the wekeend i hang out with someone and im always disappointed. I am so tired of the burden of social anxiety, of ~studying~ how to get people to want to be my fucking friend. Hell, maybe its me thats weird. I don't even care anymore. If nobody wants to be around me then fuck it! Ill be alone! nnIve had 3 shots of whiskey and am pouring up a fourth and today i took myself on a sephora shopping spree. I am going to put my new fenty beauty makeup on, put on one of my new outfits i bought recently, and go to a bar by my damn self!nnFuck everybody! ud83dudd95
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Where did you look like eye contact during your time at the bar?
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From reading the many posts here, I can tell everyone is trying hard to manage anxiety and depression. And many do an amazing job! Among all the challenges, barriers and limitation that come with anxiety and depression, what really is the absolutely hardest par of managing these conditions? Anyone willing to share?
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Just staying alive. That depression, that voice, taking over and me ending it, is terrifying.
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So, lately I've noticed that I'll just be chilling and I'll get random ass flashbacks. Not anything specific. So I don't think it is like PTSD or anything because it's not like a flashback to a car accident or anything of the sort. It'll just be random things that I haven't thought about in years. Sometimes it'll be about an embarrassing memory sometimes it'll be about a happy or sad memory. But the flashbacks are usually from when I was a small child. And it's usually not triggered by anything either. It's not like I'm watching a TV show and somebody says mushroom and then I think about how i used to make mushroom stew in my neighbours backyard when I was five. No it's just completely random.nnI'll be in English class and I'll think about that one random time when I was like three and I could barely speak and my mom took me into a thrift store, or that one time where I was with my friend and her mom took us into a random wig store in the middle of nowhere. And this happens like all the time. It's constant. These memories or flash backs aren't even like things that are worth remembering. They don't even feel real when I stop and think about them. It's like there's somebody whispering these thoughts it to my head. And it's not like I'm some sad old person waiting to die thinking about how good things used to be or something like that. I'm literally 15. I feel like this would be more normal to somebody who is in there like late 70s or something. Is this normal? nnI really really need to stress that It's not like i'm getting random reminiscing memories from time to time. It is constant random snippets of memories from when I was like probably nine and under. I cannot stress enough how constant it is.
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No this is not normal. There are certain types of therapy though that can be really helpful with this sort of thing. Is therapy an option for you?
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I'm a 26F who feels my social anxiety may turn men off. I've always been attracted to extroverts which have all ended very terrible. They usually don't understand that I need alone time, I don't like groups of people, texting all day, and prefer to stay home on weekends. I feel this bores the hell out of them and makes me vulnerable to cheaters and liars. I now want to date someone who is introverted and understand where I'm at in life. I want someone who is boring just like me ud83dudc6bud83cudffb
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what are you planning on doing during the gap year? I kinda wish i had done that in hindsight; the kind of life experience and maturity if you do it right is really valuable
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Please don't say going to therapy. Be concrete. Every tip is appreciated
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I started volunteering at a charity shop. Sometimes I work on the till which is pretty stressful, but there are other jobs too like sorting things and steaming clothes, so there's some time practicing dealing with people and other times just helping out.
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I'm a female in my late twenties and have struggled with social anxiety my entire life. I've had a few friends off and on in the several years but most of these “friendships” consist of hanging out once or twice and never becoming close enough where I feel 100% comfortable around them. At this point, I don't necessarily want or expect that deep of a friendship, but I wish I had at least a few people I could hang out with every now and then. It feels difficult to find and maintain friendships not just because of social anxiety but logistically around work schedules, etc. I never know the right way to initiate plans. I see other women my age with huge friend groups and maybe that's just social media but it just always seems other people make friends so easily, even with those who appear even more shy than I am.nnAt work I feel like people like me well enough but I'm not included in social circles. Because of my social anxiety I don't open up much about myself and because I'm super self conscious about how others perceive me I usually overcompensate by smiling and just being super positive and cheerful. Because of that, I get the impression people don't take me seriously or I come across as too reserved, prudish, or not very relatable. I don't know how to change that about myself but it honestly feels like I'll never make friends.nnAnyone have any suggestions?
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I found this actually really works. It's good advice!
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So basically my mental health has not been great this past year and due to that i haven't been messaging my friends back. I have been isolating myself and to be honest have no energy to do anything other than go to work. I work with children so from 7am to 6pm i have to be all smiles and cuddles and love and it's draining. No matter how much I love it. Anyways. There's this one friend who I love so much and miss so much and we were really close. So close people thought we were dating. But she messaged me like a month ago asking how I was and if I was doing okay. I don't know how to respond. I know for a fact that she has had some mental health struggles in the past so I'm sure she would understand. But I've never been that open with my mental health before. I mean I barely have enough energy to get out of bed in the morning let alone interact with people. But I feel terrible. I just don't know how to respond and I want to be honest but I don't know what to say. Cause what if she doesn't like me anymore or doesn't care. I don't know. Help.
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Also can you maybe cut back hours at work atleast? If you can afford to pay your bills I highly recommend. You need time to catch up on chores and do stuff that is fun! Or just rest
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Is there anyone else who feels like because of social anxiety or some other reason that they are boring? Like whenever I am talking alone with someone I just feel like I am very boring and have no humor. I find things funny, but I dont know how to make any jokes. I feel like people sense this and feel uncomfortable around me because of this. nI also feel like I cant talk
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Thank you! This is helpful advice. And I should really look at this from this point of view also more often.
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I'm 33, male. I had OCD, anxiety and depression in the past.nnI haven't taken my meds in 3 months. I felt no change. My mother has been pressuring me to take my risperidone and valproic acid constantly even though it's been more that 10 years since I felt sick. She is afraid my OCD will come back at anytime. She doesn't believe that I function the same. I just tell her I follow the treatment, so she feels at ease.nnI also didn't take my treatment while I was married. I was worried that I might have to tell my ex wife about my OCD at some point in life, but there was never any need and I'm glad I never told her cause it would have been another arrow in her quiver. And I also frequently used to forget my daily dose.nnBut today I decided to take the risperidone again for a while. I have a thing I need to study for and I can't stop daydreaming. nnI'm perfectly functional, I have a job, house, car, friends, I'm independent, popular and outgoing, I work out, I go out, all that stuff. There is nothing wrong with me. I'm okay. Nobody knows how much I struggle, there is so little happiness in my life.nWhen I'm alone, at home, at the gym or anywhere else where I don't need to interact with people, I daydream. I imagine all kinds of scenarios and a life in which I am happy, and I'm not alone, I'm loved, respected and treated well, and I have a family of my own, and I have somebody to say
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Thank you! I finally know what I got
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How do I schedule an appointment, talk to someone, and look at someone when I can't even do this already?
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...yep
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A little backstory, I've suffered with social anxiety my entire life. I literally can not speak to people. I've always had trouble making friends and in high school I had 3 really amazing friends. After graduation 2 dropped me and in 2018 the friend I was the closest with got a boyfriend and stopped talking to me. I loved them so much and I thought they saw me just as important. I've felt rejected by everyone other than my immediate family and never made friends again and would only speak and hangout with my mom and sister. Well about 9 months ago I started a new job and I met this girl and we got really close. We've hung out a few times and text all of the time. A week ago I was in my feelings and I sent her a message telling her how happy I am she's my friend and that I'm so glad she's always there for me. It was really long and looking back I'm so embarrassed. Long story short she never responded and the next morning she texted me something about work completely ignoring the text. Then I came to work and she brought up the text and was like “oh I didn't know how to respond hahahaha” and I felt so embarrassed. I feel like things are awkward now between us and I wish I never sent that text. Maybe it's all in my head and it isn't as bad as I feel like it is. I'm posting here because I seem to always embarrass myself and I was hoping anyone had any tips on how to deal with social embarrassment.
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The level of our social anxiety is always equal to our level of resistance to being embarrassed. That's what it is. Anxiety is what happens to us, our problem is embarrassment insecurity. The more okay you are with being embarrassed, the less anxiety you have.nnThis is why you will seem to get better in some areas and worse in others, you are more or less secure embarrassing yourself with certain people or doing certain things.nnWhenever you want to improve any particular thing, ask yourself how you can be more okay with being embarrassed in that context.
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has it ever happened to anyone else where your internal monologue becomes to much? I've been dealing with this for a couple of months now but I haven't told anyone because I don't understand what it is and I don't want to sound crazy or scare people when I say I can't stop the voice In my head.My own voice is constantly saying/thinking negative things in my head, it's so bad sometimes it wakes me up from my sleep at like 5am and nothing I do helps so I just sit there on my bed and cry wondering why I can't get my internal monologue to just shut up. It fills my body with anxiety for 2-3 hours before I can actually get sum sleep, just for it to come back as soon as I wake. It's rlly draining the fun out of me during the day I'd rather b asleep to avoid thinking I can't even smoke weed anymore bcs it makes my mind wonder. I'm an over thinker n it sucks feeling like I can't tell anyone because it makes me feel alone, fear of sounding crazy and I feel like I'm the only one that goes thru this so no one would understand. I tried my best to explain briefly but it's just something you have to feel to comprehend): nnCan this be considered a mental health disorder? does anyone else feel this way? What has helped ?
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Hi, I'm an overthinker too and I used to have the same problem you describe every time my anxiety got too high. I don't think this is a whole disorder but it can be a symptom that you're not feeling well.nnI suggest you to talk to a therapist about it since they will help you finding the source of the problem and not only curing the symptom.nnBut for a
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Anyone else use a mask to feel better? Like wearing it in public makes me feel safer and makes things easier.
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Only reason I would ride a motorcycle full face helmet with tinted visor. A level of fuck off I don't want to talk to you I aspire to
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22FnnI'm sitting in my car, outside of work, 25 minutes after I'm supposed to be inside. My heart is vibrating in my chest and my legs are tingling and one of my knees is shaking. It's not that I feel anxious, it's that I don't want to go inside and every time I try to force myself to get out of the car I bail like a child that's afraid to try something new. I feel useless. I'm failing, I cant keep showing up late. I was diagnosed with mixed anxiety disorder about a year and a half ago, and I take Zoloft for it (sometimes THC helps get over the hump but obviously I cant smoke weed now). nnI don't know, I just feel hopeless. This is more of a rant than anything else, but I want to know if anybody else feels the same way? What can I do to get out of this damn car? I've meditated, I'm healthy physically, and I do everything right; so, what's wrong with me?
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Hey, this is a late response, but did you end up going inside? nnI used to have anxiety like this too and it honestly led to me eventually dropping out of college. Are you seeing a therapist?
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why dont others care for me? do i have to care for my self first and then be able to offer something to them? other than being just
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You don't owe anything to anyone. Most people are stupid and they don't know much about you so why would you take them seriously? Even if they judge you it doesn't mean you have to change if you're satisfied with yourself. People can go fuck themselves, life is short especially with climate change coming pretty soon and you have limited shits to give.nnnnThe best decision in my life was stopping watching porn and becoming MGTOW, realise that women are just not worth it with the attention and money they require. When I was younger I used to imagine fucking every attractive woman that I saw in a street etc. Now I just don't give a crap about them nnnnnAnd how do you become satisfied with yourself? Start working hard towards a goal so you don't have time for people's shit. This is the most important step. Maybe it's becoming one of the best players in your soccer team, maybe it's finishing a business project. For me it was starting to work out and learning self defense so I become and understand that I'm better at something than the average person. Realise your talents. Be better than the average person at something.nnnnnImprove your own life, not someone else's
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...but now I actually want to go out with my friends because I have become much closer with them. Unfortunately, I have built up the reputation of saying I'll go to things and then bailing(which as mentioned before is 100% true) so my friends have stopped inviting me to things. I would just ask to be invited more but I feel an enormous sense of dread even thinking about being upfront with them about feeling left out. What can I do?
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Yeah okay that sounds like a plan. And yeah the whole acting like it's a miracle thing sucks.
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I don't seem to have any place or function in this world, at least not one that reciprocates by providing material support for me. I've been unemployed forever, and have recently taken to describing it not as 'chronic unemployment' but as 'terminal unemployment'. I don't know what to do anymore. The only solace I can find is in just giving up.nnI don't belong here anymore. I just want to walk away from my situation, but there are some things I'd like to keep with me. The catalyst for all of this horrible, traumatic, angst was the premature death of a beloved animal companion, early this month. He, it turned out, was what had been holding me together in the 2.5 years since my spouse abandoned me for a Facebook affair. nnMy animal companion truly, unconditionally, loved me, and I am so full of grief over his passing. Every night when the sun goes down, I relax a bit. And every day, when I see the sun coming through the window at dawn, I am filled with fear and dread. I often feel as though I wish the night would just last forever. The daytime, everyday, world, just has no place for me anymore.
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I feel like I've been up against a wall of age discrimination since I turned 40. I don't know how to deal with it. I don't know what else could account for having my applications and resumes ignored for 10 years. I must have submitted hundreds of them, for tech jobs, admin jobs, and then any job I could find advertised, and I rarely, if ever, get a response. When I do, it's usually something along the lines of
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Does anyone else really dislike this common tip you get when you mention having social anxiety? I honestly can't stand reading through posts that claim they got over their anxiety by not caring about what others think and becoming some sort of extreme individualist who is only occupied with themselves. I'm not sure if it's just me, or if I'm reading into it incorrectly but not only is it unhelpful, it's also not the person I want to become. To me, it just reeks of misery and isolation and I'd rather live a life obsessed with other peoples thoughts about me than morph into some hermit who has become completely desensitized to the people around them.
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It's sad though I can almost remember what it was like to be free from social anxiety. But my memory has been going down the drain. Just keep on pushing through it.
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I don't seem to fit in anywhere in this world. Even among fellow sa sufferers I feel like the outcast. I am doomed to a life of obscurity and alienation. Nothing I can do except swallow my sadness. No one will ever see this post anyway, why do I even try. It's over. I am at the point of no return.
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Did you guys notice an increase in you're energy and or concentration when taking it?nnI've been putting off going to a doctor and talking about possibly starting an SSRI or some form of medication for anxiety and depression I've been dealing with a lot of my life.nnI've tried psychotherapy before with mixed results but will definitely reach out to my former therapist again but at the moment I even feel too anxious and depressed to do that also. Avoidance sucks.nnI've heard a lotta (mostly) good things about SSRIsnnAnyways, I was wondering what you're experience was with anti-depressants/SSRIsnnThanks!
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I take 100mg sertraline (zoloft) daily. Few side effects thankfully and takes the edge off anxiety, but doesn't manage it completely. Bit of a life saver for me as before I went on it I had extremely disrupted sleep patterns and difficulty eating.
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This is totally out of my confort zone. And it will be harder because I plan to be completely sober . Any advice?
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How did you find the event
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I know life has been hard for all of us here and can make us feel hopeless with our current situations, but I was just wondering if any of you here have a favorite song that you would love to share with someone? IRL interactions can be stressful, but I think we all wish we could connect with other people, so I'd like to take the opportunity to reach out to you all and discover some new music! It can be any artist, genre, or mood that you want, don't hold back!nnEdit: I wish I could respond to all of your suggestions, but it's a little late where I'm at. I found a lot of amazing music and I absolutely plan on listening to the rest of your suggestions! I hope you all can find something new that you like here, too, and I hope you all have a very happy rest of your day/night! Also, if you were wondering, my favorite song right now is Baby, We're Ascending by HAAi.nnEdit 2: You are all amazing. Thank you so much for taking the time to open your hearts up and share your love of music with me and everyone here!
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That's a very emotional song. I like it!
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Hi guys, I had my vaccine today and while I was there I bumped into someone who I used to go with school with. I didn't know them super well but we were friendly and she always seemed nice. We had to sit down and wait for 15 minutes afterwards to make sure we didn't have an allergic reaction and she came over and sat next to me and said hi. I said hi back and asked how she was and she did the same. Then I sort of clammed up and didn't know what to say or do. I was already feeling anxious as there were a lot of people there plus I'm not the biggest fan of needles. So we just ended up sitting there in silence until she awkwardly got up and left after the 15 minutes without saying goodbye. I feel like I came off as a massive asshole because I didn't say anything and I've been freaking out the rest of the day and had a horrible feeling in my stomach. nnShould I message her and apologise and explain I was feeling anxious? Or just leave it alone? I feel like an idiot just typing this all out and that a normal person wouldn't be freaking out this much over a 10 minute awkward silence with someone they went to school with 4 years ago. nnThanks in advance
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Hmm maybe if it's really bothering you, you can message her and say you were really anxious about the shot, if you made the right decision, etc and had a lot on your mind when you saw her and you were worried you came off rude to her and were sorry.nnCurious what others might say.
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Where I live most people don't wear the mask anymore, I'm kinda the only one usually. I was really hoping that it would stay a normal and socially accepted thing for longer..nnToday some women in the elevator made some comment about it and shook her head in disappointment, like she must've been one of the people who really don't think much of the corona-measures. I even replied, which is rare..
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Girl wear your mask and screw them people. I'm wearing it anyways and will continue to because people ain't careful . nIf you want to say soemthing say I'm trying to be safe and I have no further reason to explain to you. And leave who cares about them
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After having to wait for 3 months I'm going to head to my first cognitive therapy session in a little under two hours from now.nnI'm not as nervous as I expected to be.nnEdit:nnnAllright an update for you guys.nnThe first session was pretty intense. My therapist and I talked about a few things. How my anxeity manifests itself and how it's causing me frustration and tension.nnnWe spoke about what might be the cause of my problems. Wich is pretty much the problem that I had to grow up when I was twelve thanks to my dad's depression and alcoholism. My mother's inability to cope as well as her own mental problems and my sister's borderline. nnI was pretty much the only normal one in our nuclear family and so I HAD to be the normal one.nnSo I had to be strong, stable, perform good in school, home on time, not go to pubs or clubs at night etc. As a result I grew up with the idea that I just can't show weakness of any kind. And as a result I'm more or less constantly afraid of showing weakness and/or not measuring up to other people's standards.nnIt was pretty intense being confronted of what's basically a childhood trauma. There was some crying involved. My therapist was very supportive and thought it was brave of me to have taken the step of conronting all this.nnI've got another appointment in 2 weeks. And though I have a feeling that it's going to be a tough battle I'm going to press on and face this thing down.
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Thanks for the update. I wish my therapist was like that.
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Lots of people hate it and literally deny it. This is the most powerful and best solution that ends social anxiety completely, and is just putting yourself in the situations you avoid and fear by setting a goal, commitment, and staying in them for a short time. Sure, this is the biggest obstacle for you that you don't want to put yourself out there but make sure with a serious and ambitious intention you will once and for all get rid of something called social anxiety in a shorter time than you think
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I feel like people need to choose meds wisely becos it can have long lasting side effects. I took lexapro and had sexual dysfunction for years even after I stopped it. Certainly can ruin relationship.
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so my friends and I decided to meet over spring break at a park and hang out, play volleyball and goof around, we have a group chat to talk to each other and stuff but I'm absolutely terrified because its tmr and I'm scared that they forgot and i don't wanna show up alone at a park with my volleyball for hours waiting for nobody to show up just to call my parents to pick me up and i don't wanna be a nuisance asking in the group chat if anybody forgot bc if they didn't, it would land me in an awkward situation and I wouldn't wanna apologize for asking a dumb questions does anybody have any ideas what I should do? cuz I'm on the verge of tears.
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Hit them with the u201cwe still on for tomorrowu201d this is a normal text that people send a lot. It's great because it's such a common phrase it takes some of the edge off asking. It's okay to ask no one is inconvenienced by it it's a regular thing in life because sometimes people do forget or sometimes we just change our mind could be a million reasons why things change it's fine.
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I know I can't be the only one who doesn't brush their hair, who goes months without washing their hair, who doesn't brush their teeth for days, who can go weeks without bathing. Who doesn't wash their bed sheets for months. Who doesn't keep their room cleaned. I feel like no one really talks about those u201cgrossu201d things when it comes to depression and anxiety. It's embarrassing, I know it is. Especially being a girl who does these things. I'm constantly shamed by my mother for u201cbeing gross and dirtyu201d because u201cgirls aren't suppose to be that way! They're suppose to be clean!u201d And it makes me feel even worse about myself. Because it does appear that way right? I know other girls and they smell nice, their hair looks combed out, their rooms are cleanish, even with mental health issues, it's like they somehow are still able to take showers regularly. I don't know how they are still able to keep those priorities in check when I haven't even brushed my teeth in four days. I don't understand.. it makes me feel like something is very wrong with me, other than depression and anxiety I mean. Like I'm the most screwed up. I just want someone to relate to
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I'm not bad with personal hygiene because it gives me really bad anxiety to be dirty, but I struggle really bad with cleaning my room. I just have absolutely no motivation/determination to do it, so I let it get as bad as it can before my parents scream at me to clean it. It's a sign that depression is getting bad, so while I can't get a therapist, I strongly suggest you do if you can.
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I'm doing my master's in Germany and I work part-time as a student assistant at an institute for 20 hours. I study in English and all my colleagues at work are German. I have been in Germany for a year already, and thanks to my crippling social anxiety my language improvement is very poor. I can barely understand some sentences when someone speaks to me slowly, let alone when in a room full of Germans speaking to each other so fast and in slang and everything, then I'm completely lost!nn What's worst is that when one of my colleagues comes and speaks to me in German and I don't understand what he's saying; I don't ask him to please repeat it slowly so that I can understand better, I rather nod along and hope he just goes away. Every.Single.time that happens I say to myself
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I'm currently learning German and our teacher mostly speaks in German and I have found it easy to understand what she's saying when I repeat what she said in my head and break apart the sentence. It takes a while but I have found it pretty useful. This is only my first year so I'm not too experienced but that is just something that has helped me this past year.
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Sometimes I know they are not, but it feels like they are. Same happens with talking. I hear someone talking about someone they don't like and if i don't hear who, its hard for me to not assume its about me. It sounds stupid. Even when I know, I just can't help it.nnI am moving to another town away from friends and family for college soon and I want to get over this before I go. I don't want to look anti social. Or my time down there is going to be much harder.nnIts hard to talk about this to people I know. I know the internet can't answer everything, but I feel in my current state, this is easier and more helpful for now.
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How much if an impact do therapists make? And do you really think that moving will help with this situation?
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and you cant work alone
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The ONE class in senior year that i actually had with my best friend was the only class where they never allowed us to pick groups. Smh
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I don't want to be cocky but commonly many people tell me things like
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I don't think they're just making a compliment on the shirt. I mean you bought it, right? And it seems to fit you, so actually it's a compliment on your style and your decision to buy that specific shirt. No one makes a compliment to a shirt that does not fit your style. So a u201cthank youu201d is appropriate, I think.
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The title basically. I'm 17f, and I have had my fair share or bullying and slut-shaming, those few years had a huge impact. I never could open up except to my bestie, and I don't wanna burden her or anything she's got her own shit to deal with. Basically I realised that the strongest emotion I ever feel isn't the need to yell and cry and break things, and can barely argue or make my point without breaking down. That is still not a huge thing, I also seem to forget most of the things. Not important stuff, like my schedule or next assignments, more like events and details of them. Often I just nod along Andy pretend to remember what beef we are talking about who didn't what and stuff, but really I'm just trying to remember hat exactly happened and coming back with nothing, feels like my entire life has become some sort of sludge.nTherapy isn't an option right now although I know I need it. Reason: brown household, still dependant on parents, mental health doesn't exist.nI want to be able to think clearly and feel actually happy, any advice? It feels like it's getting worse as the days pass...
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Wish I knew, but my only way so to vent are making up imaginary arguments and crying in a corner. Hang in there though.
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Sometimes I wonder what people think of me. I don't like the thought of people thinking im self centered when in reality im dealing with social anxiety & really don't speak much. Sometimes I feel like people think of me as such. Does anyone relate?
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I got into an argument with my brother a couple months ago and he told me one of our friends talks shit about me behind my back. That really messed me up. I already felt like everyone hated me i didnt need my fears confirmed
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There's no good therapist in Sydney, they're all too far or look dodgy and have no reviews or photos. I don't know what to do, im 18 and I literally have a list on my notes for EVERYTHING and I always have something to do or something to finish or complete I can't keep living like this
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Hopefully. OCD is so flipping tiring
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I don't know why I agreed to fly out of state to attend a wedding and reception at which I only know the bride. But I did. nnI have regrets.nnBeen in the state for 24 hours. Was not invited to the rehearsal dinner last night. That would have been the perfect intimate party at which to meet a few people to have familiar faces at the larger one today. nnInstead, in 4 hours, I'm going to be surrounded by 100 people I don't know. I actually feel ill with anxiety and want nothing more than to hop on a plane and go home. (I looked. No flights.)nnHelp! How do you survive this kind of thing?
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My uncle straight up said I gained weight within listening range and now I'm struggling not to cry:(
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