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{
"description": "being pissed off that my bf is going to visit his mom",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for being pissed off that my bf is going to visit his mom
|
My bf and I, I’ll just call J, have been together 7.5 years and living together for 7 years. We have lived several states away from his parents for about 4 years now.
J’s Mom and I DO NOT get along, she has been for horrible to me for most of J’s and I relationship.
Some things include telling me I’m going to ruin J’s life.
That I am a slob.
In front of my mom she said I am annoying and she couldn’t stand to be around me anymore.
I was in a serious accident and was bed ridden for months and her only concern was that I was going to be a finical burden to J and that I needed to be back at work already.
We used to live with J’S parents very briefly and she would go through my mail and question me about it in front of J and his dad.
If I had wine or a cocktail with dinner she would say I’m a sloppy drunk and going to ruin J’s reputation.
She has done enough horrible things to me that I could fill a novel but earlier this year she decided she wanted to make amends and apologize to me. She asked me to tell her everything she did that hurt me and once I did, she denied ever doing any of it, how people love her because she’s so nice, how my mom is a liar and she would never speak poorly of me in front of her. Anyways I didn’t accept her apology and she called J crying that it wasn’t fair that I didn’t own up to anything I’ve ever done. I refuse to talk to her now. I bit my tongue for almost 6 years for because I didn’t want it to get between Mine and J’s relationship. J knows how horrible she has been to me and feels bad he didn’t see it before and understands why I don’t want a relationship with her.
I should also mention that J is an only child and she is a therapist.
Before I get to the next part J is working on a project for about 10-13 hours a day and has a deadline at the end of this month. He has been behind on texts and emails so he’ll have me go through, read them to him and I’ll type out the response for him, it’s mostly work stuff like schedules, talking with department heads etc. And then a few friends checking in on him and his mom. And I’ve seen a lot of recent texts to him from his mom.
For whatever reason J’s mom wants him to come visit THIS month even though he has arrangements to go next month for the holidays. She texts him daily and when she doesn’t reply she starts saying how frustrating it is that he can’t reply and then when he apologizes that he’s busy she’ll say something like “I’m sorry sweety I know you’re busy I just miss you so much and need to hear your voice.” The way she talks to J really creeps me out because it’s more like a girlfriend.
So his mom has been begging him to go visit them for about a month now. He hasn’t really given an answer but now she’s texting him that his dad is in really bad health and that he needs to come home right away. I think he’s having heart problems but they haven’t been to a dr yet. But she’ll say something along the lines of “You need to come home, dad isn’t doing good and is so tired all the time. And IM JUST SO EXCITED TO SEE YOU.”
I feel bad for saying this but I think she’s trying to guilt trip him about his dad so he’ll come visit. It’s not the first time she’s been incredibly manipulative. Every holiday season she cries to him on the phone that he doesn’t spend Thanksgiving Fay or Christmas Day with them.
Anyways so I’m pissed because he’s going to go see them and the only time he can go is on the weekends when they’re off. This entire month is so hectic for both of us because we’re moving, his project, we’re going on vacation and the holiday.
This weekend we need to start packing, organizing and donating stuff.
Monday-Thursday I have to go out of town for work. So I don’t have much time to get it done and need his help.
Saturday morning movers are coming.
The weekend after that is thanksgiving weekend which I paid someone $200 to cover for me so I could have off. We always go to get our Christmas tree which we have done every single year we’ve been together. And this year a festival falls on that weekend and we made arrangements to go to it.
And the last weekend we’ll be on vacation.
So his only options are to go next weekend and I have to move by myself OR Thanksgiving weekend which will ruin the plans we already have and I wasted money getting it off.
His mom wants him to come on Thanksgiving, she said “I’m sure catstaringatmepooo already made plans for you but maybe you can just cancel them and come home for Thanksgiving.”
He already told her not on Thanksgiving and he can only come for two days but she’s talking about taking a week off for his visit and she’s booking his ticket for him.
J is going to visit them for a week and a half in about a month.
I asked J a few nights ago if he even wants to go and he said not really but he feels bad.
His options are either I do the move alone or he leaves me by myself in a new house for Thanksgiving. Not going to lie part of me is mad because she does this shit every year. So am I the asshole for being pissed off about this?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 4,
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|
OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
kUK4aC6SnSEUSoxYOonIF5i5rFrkao6t
|
a0yq7b
|
{
"description": "wanting to have been asked about my aunt naming her kid my exact name",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for wanting to have been asked about my aunt naming her kid my exact name?
|
My aunt fostered a kid a few years ago and just recently adopted him. As part of his adoption she gave him a new middle and last name, both of which I already have.
So I, John Jacob Jingleheimer was named after my dad and Grandpa, John and Jacob.
My first name is my dad's middle name and my middle name is my grandpa's first name.
Dad: Jim John Jingleheimer
Grandpa: Jacob Jingleheimer
I take pride in having their names and want to continue the tradition when I have kids. My aunt did not ask me if she could make her foster kid after my grandpa and I got pissed that she named him my exact name when I already bore my family's namesake.
AITA for not wanting to have another member of the family, who isn't a blood relative, to have the same name as me? I get that he is her legal son now and she can name him whatever she wants, but she never even consulted me about it.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
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|
WRONG
|
kfL14NyXuJSjn6flla68inQp93LEieAB
|
abkh3v
|
{
"description": "asking to see my girlfriends phone who had repeatedly lied to me in the past",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 23
}
|
AITA for asking to see my girlfriends phone who had repeatedly lied to me in the past
|
My girlfriend has lied in the past, thankfully they are never too serious, usually about something she did that she is afraid to tell me because I will be upset (like she tried shrooms once and didn’t tell me for several months and I had to keep asking if she had any secrets from me still and she kept saying no until months later when she told me this) but a lie is still a lie to me and when she tells me I’m more mad that she hid it from me then telling me and because of it I have trust issues with her. Now I feel that even though I ask her if she is hiding things from me and she says no, she has said and done that before so it’s hard o trust her. On top of that she is never willing to let me see her phone, she says it’s toxic and not a good way to be together but I always say she can do whatever she wants on my phone. I’m not sure if it truly is bad by me and toxic to see what’s on her phone or if it’s on her, any advice would be appreciated.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 19,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 23
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|
WRONG
|
XuPqExvNll6ebNa9nzQ0mNJyJ4tjeT7b
|
a67p6r
| null |
AITA for how I handled this conversation with a former friend?
|
**Backstory**: This girl was a friend of mine. She has always had some issues, but they were easy to overlook because she was a good person for the most part. The drama began with her fracturing our group of friends by cheating on her boyfriend of many years with his best friend. There was a lot of bad blood between the guys for quite some time, but they have since reconciled. I stayed out of it because it was none of my business, but it put a bad taste in my mouth because of how it affected my friends involved (especially her boyfriend, who has been my friend for 15 years).
After the affair was discovered, she began using drugs heavily. Several of us tried to stay in touch with her and help her stop. We went so far as to have an intervention when we discovered her living in her car. We picked her up, got her something to eat, bought her some non-perishable food, grabbed a burner phone for her to stay in touch with us, tried (but failed) to get her to go to rehab, and made her promise to tell us if she needed help. Not once did she thank anyone or seem grateful. She disappeared again, and we discovered that she sold the burner phone for drugs (how, I don't know; it was the cheapest hunk of plastic). I didn't know where she was or what to do to help.
Eventually she got in touch through someone else's phone, and told me she was in recovery. I was happy for her and made sure to tell her so. I didn't hear from her again for a while (she had no phone at this time), but when I did, she seemed stable. She was sober, had a job, and had a place to stay. She had also moved to the other side of the state. She was doing well, which is awesome. Despite all this, though, she started some problems with other friends in the group, trying to place blame on anyone but herself for what happened.
She nor I have made much of an effort to stay in contact since she moved. She invited me to something about a year ago, but it was last-minute, and I'd had plans already. Other than that, she has never told me when she's been back in the area here. We comment on each other's social media posts here and there, but that's been it since then. The other day (at 3am) she drops this bomb on me. Here's the conversation that followed:
**Her**: So. Maybe I'm just overthinking. But do you want to be friends anymore? I still want to be, but I get the vibe you don't.
**Me**: What? I do want to be friends. But you’re on the other side of the state. Kind of hard to see each other. But that doesn’t mean we can’t talk.
**Her**: Everytime I came back to town you never wanted to hang out. Unless it was some coincidence and bad timing. You don't really talk to me anymore. So yes it seemed that way.
**Me**: You never told me when you came back more than once, and I had plans already...
**Her**: I have a friend that I've known for 25 years that lives in Scotland. I didn't think 2 hours was a big deal.
**Me**: Are you for real? The door goes both ways. You tried to hang out once and didn't tell me you were going to be in town until the last minute. I'm supposed to be a mind reader? Honestly, I'm planning my wedding, trying to lose weight, working full time, and it's hard enough to keep up with people who do reciprocate friendship. I have very little time or patience for shit like this. I don't need a guilt trip for living my life. I am gone 12 hours a day and my free time is spent with my fiance, family, planning, working out, and meal prepping.
**Her**: Okay. Good talk.
**Me**: Right. Friendship is a two-way street, you know.
So, AITA for being blunt, despite feeling that enough was enough?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
TjBWN4Wi7YYUkeBR7rxCr5w3uMyq3B26
|
axlkz4
|
{
"description": "using my leadership position in my student organization to influence other students into attending a political event",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 11
}
|
AITA for using my leadership position in my student organization to influence other students into attending a political event?
|
I am going to start by saying, the following happened at the beginning of the semester.
I (21F) am a young, liberally minded activist and feminist. I major in general studies and am the lead in a recruitment organization at my college. I live in a rather conservative part of the US and every so often we get people that come on campus to tell us how we are living our lives in sin. There are a few likeminded people in my organization that I was able to influence into protesting these conservatives from spreading their message of hate. The night before, I have everyone come over to my dorm to make our protest signs. As an example, we glued images of Donald Trump and plastered flames consuming him to suggest he was going to hell.
On campus, my group has been getting a lot of hate for our outward disapproval of the white, patriarchal establishment. And I’ll be honest, it hasn’t all exactly been rainbows and butterflies in adulthood for me. So, when I have someone coming on campus, which is supposed to be a place of LEARNING, I get really fired up. They are preaching these outdated messages of reap what you sow, wait until marriage, etc. This does nothing but say if you are underprivileged you deserve to be underprivileged. It felt like they were coming from such a monolithic, closed-minded perspective that I needed to physically demonstrate progressive politics.
So, I took off my shirt. Yes, I am a woman with sizeable breasts. No, I was not wearing a bra. Unfortunately, I was the only one that did this. No one else from my organization followed suit with me. Now, I did not get arrested and the university has not followed through on any legal action. If they did, guaranteed I will be reaching out to my parents to sue them for discrimination against females. However, as an unintended consequence, most of the girls from my organization have been treating me differently. They are almost being cold to me. Some have stopped showing up to our meetings all together. This is causing me to question, am I an asshole for influencing other students into attending this political event?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 10,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 11
}
|
WRONG
|
xqt6YRBLo3oGsGAgwYTRYDKQf3zZGsgm
|
b7fbqs
|
{
"description": "making my friend pay for my AirPods that she lost",
"pronormative_score": 21,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA if I made my friend pay for my AirPods that she lost?
|
This afternoon my friend asked me if she could have my jacket, which contained my AirPods on the sleeve pocket. I checked the pockets as I handed it to her. She then ran off with one of my friends and went to the town center. I met up with her two hours later but when I got my jacket back my AirPods were missing from them. I asked her where she went and I looked all over but I couldn’t find them. I asked her if she had opened the pocket but she denied ever touching it. I had recently gotten my parents to replace one of the earbuds which cost 70 pounds and so they would kill me if I told them I lost them so I would like to solve this between me and my friend. Anyway, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 21,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 21,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
HrvJrybJy7sXMkgcsLicCBUlhBTVWO6L
|
aua8x4
|
{
"description": "having sex in the same room my ex was sleeping",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 13
}
|
AITA for having sex in the same room my ex was sleeping
|
I am talking about my time in high school (Im 22 now). There was a girl in my class I didn‘t like at first but the more time I spent with her the more feelings I started to catch. Time flew by and we admitted to each other that we share the same feelings. For me actually it was clear that I wanted her to be my girlfriend and I communicated it to her and she kept me waiting.
In this specific time span there was a big party. On this evening she kissed another guy and a girl. I was only 16 so this was for me the most heartbreaking moment I could ever imagine. Even though we were not officially together I felt really betrayed because this is something my loyalty never would have let me do and I had no understanding for this behavior.
Next day she apoligized blaming she was too drunk she could not handle it if I would turn my back on her. After a week I forgave her.
She suddenly wanted to be my girlfriend and so it happened.
After just thee months she broke up with me. She told me I was too controlling. In fact I was because she kept going on these parties and get drunk and my trust was not fully recovered.
One half year later we went on a trip. Me, some classmates and her included. Our relation after the break up was „normal“. We still hang together and I had the feeling that she was still into me. Me too kinda. We all shared one room together (we were 8 ppl)
After the first night in this city (Hamburg) I met a spanish girl. After a short while it was all clear were it was heading. Her appartment was way too far and mine was just around the corner. For me it was a very exciting moment because I was about to lose my virginity (I did not have sex with my ex).
We went to my appartment and the security let us in even though he actually wasnt allowed to let strangers in but he was aware of the situation and just winked me in. I told the spanish girl of the situation and made to hear clear that if somebody is already inside sleeping we would have to be very quite. We entered in and my ex and 2 friends of her were already sleeping. I took the girl and went with her in my bed and had sex for about a half hour. The room was very small and if they would have woke up they could easily see us. But I did not care because I really wanted to have sex with this girl. Revenge was not my goal actually but I thought cmon I have not done anything wrong to her so why should me bother this.
The spanish girl did not want to go home after the hook up and slept beside me. The very next morning I woke her up a little earlier while every one was sleeping and told to her that she has to go. Just about she was to leave my ex and her friend woke up. She was so confused and angry. I left the room with the spanish girl and I heard as soon as I closed the door „Is he fucking serious?“. Later she told me that she is really hurt of what I did and stopped talking to me for about 2 months. She said that she thought we would come back together. But we did not.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 13
}
|
WRONG
|
5jOWErJ44uOudULK095eIdSIS0kniviq
|
aigyua
|
{
"description": "not wanting to take pictures with my gf",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to take pictures with my gf?
|
My gf and I have been together for about 2 months, and this is a point of argument for us to this day. She's stunning, she takes phenomenal photos, and she loves to take them frequently.
I, on the other hand, look like a sack of shit even on days when I'm looking my best. Photogenic is one of the last words anyone should use to describe me, I hate pictures and try to get them taken literally as little as I possibly can. I have severe confidence issues, and looking at photos of myself only succeeds in making me feel worse. I'm not happy with what I see in the mirror and I don't think I'll be for quite some time. In spite of all this though, my gf wants us to strike a pose at least once a day for us to get a quick pic together. I tell her all of this, but she doesn't care,she always replies with something along the lines of that she loves me and wants to have pictures to show her friends how cute we are together.
I'm not even unreasonable when it comes to pictures though. I've willingly taken pics with her the first time she asked on things loke our big dates, and a concert we went to together over winter break. It's just when we're out and about and she wants to snap a selfie of us at Walmart where I start trying to say no, because I don't there's anything I enjoy less than being in a photo. It's at the point where the woman I love has given me ultimatums to take pictures with her, and it's having a negative impact on our relationship.
TL;DR I'm self conscious about my appearance and the way I look in photos, and I've grown to dread taking them. In spite of this I still talk the occasional picture with my admittedly very photigenic gf, yet it isn't enough and my desire to stay away from the camera is affecting my relationship with a girl I click with on so many levels, and disagree with on far less. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
NOBODY
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
VKQaFUSGqKPSkCB3XGvFg7OVFTmf5cWK
|
aipz9l
|
{
"description": "not being able to deal with my gf's stress, anxiety, and depression anymore",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITAH for not being able to deal with my gf’s stress, anxiety, and depression anymore?
|
So, long story short, my gf has always struggled with stress, anxiety, and depression, and I don’t think I can be around it anymore.
We have been together for close to 5 years now, and this has always been an issue that I was vocal about, but my concerns seem to be falling on deaf ears. When we started dating, we were both in a really dark place emotionally, and I know that we helped pull each other up and out of the worst of it.
Since then, I have continued to try to improve myself and be just less sad and mopey all the time. And it worked. I know this doesn’t work for everybody, but eventually I just decided I wasn’t going to be sad anymore and faked it one day at a time until I didn’t have to fake it anymore.
But in all this time (I’d guess the last 3 years?) she has been actively opposed to do anything that I see as proactive:
Start exercising together everyday? No deal.
Stop going out to eat every week (often several times)? Absolutely not.
Go out hiking on the weekends? Too tired.
Local band playing? They probably suck, let’s not.
Stop smoking so much weed everyday? But how will I be hungry?
Go to a doctor and see about meds? YOU THINK I’M CRAZY AND YOU HATE ME!! (That one was a long time ago, but has prevented the subject from coming up again)
The worst thing for me is the complaining. There is always something wrong with everything. Not only does she act like nothing is ever good enough, but she acts like everything is actively getting worse just for her. I have made it very clear that I don’t want to hear her complain or whine, and she replies that “it’s something I need to do or I’ll just trap it inside and explode.”
That doesn’t seem like enough of a reason to complain about everything all the time. We moved to a city where she got a job that she really wanted and every single morning it’s “I don’t wanna go! I don’t feel good! Everything is terrible!” When in reality, she likes the job and the people she works with. On top of that, I did not want to move to this city and wanted to go somewhere else where we might both have jobs in our field, but instead she works the good job and I’m finding whatever I can around town making peanuts.
Ok, I feel like I’m just ranting now.
My problem is that I feel like she helped me out of depression by just being around, and she refuses to let me help her by doing the same. Am I wrong to be at my wits end about all the complaining? Am I an actual monster for no longer sympathizing with her depression? Is it wrong of me to want to just stop trying to help her because she won’t help herself?
I know I’ve probably painted a much more one sided version of this than I meant to, so please feel free to ask any questions that might help. I love her and care deeply about her well being, but I feel like I’m the only one trying to do anything about it.
AITAH?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
FNFHl4b8LZOSClyOdWdPigquEfCWWDqL
|
aa93ar
|
{
"description": "thinking my sister would know that she couldn't get into a bar",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For thinking my sister would know that she couldn't get into a bar?
|
I've been in Scotland for 3 months, for school, and my family came up to visit me. Our family dynamic is rocky, mostly because me and my sister are not great to my parents.
We end up at The World's End off of the Royal Mile and my sister can't get in. By this point, I would have assumed that I told her that the drinking age is 18, but apparently I hadn't, so I said so inside of the bar (we got kicked out) and she got upset and wanted to go home (most shops were closed by this point, it was coming to the end of our night). I suggested that she go home with our mom and I would have a drink with my dad. For context, the other 17 year olds I had met in Scotland were completely mature about their inability to get into bars and had adjusted accordingly. My sister instead started to reiterate that she wanted to go home and eventually started to cry. My parents, feeling guilty, suggested that we all just go home, but I insisted that we (me and my dad) stay and have a drink, in front of my sister.
Saying that I wanted to stay made my sister upset, which to me seemed immature as it's just the law and back home she parties with friends anyways. I understand that it was meant to be a family thing, but I had said repeatedly that she would not be able to get into a bar, and my dad wanted to go in (seeing as the bar was connected to the Edgar Wright movie). AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
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|
OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
lPHBAIWdk7EMIgftAjrk5mxQt9IoSaAf
|
at952a
|
{
"description": "hooking up with my ex girlfriend's high school friend while we were both back home from college",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for hooking up with my ex girlfriend's high school friend while we were both back home from college?
|
Hey guys,
​
I went into my college years in a long distance relationship with someone that I had been dating for 2 years prior. It ended up not working out, and although it wasn't necessarily a messy breakup (we broke up over thanksgiving break about 3 months into college) it was definitely hard to let that go. For preface, however, the relationship was one of those types that fizzles out on one end while the other is still trying to keep it going. In out situation, she fizzled out while I put more and more effort into the relationship, so it was really hard for me to reconcile.
During winter break about 3 weeks after thanksgiving, I ended up spending a lot of time with a friend of my ex's who was also my friend during high school, and we hooked up a couple times around Christmas and New Years.
Although I had not spoken to my ex since the breakup, I did not think she would be extremely mad about it, judging by posts on social media with boys and her repeatedly telling my friends she was over me. Therefore, I decided to go along with it. My ex's friend and I ended up telling her about us hooking up over winter break so that the news came from us rather than from any outside sources, and she blew up.
For the record, this friend of hers was really not a close friend, they never spent time with each other outside of school. However, my ex said "go fuck yourselves", "I considered you a good friend of mine" and basically told us to fuck off. She said we "made her look like a clown". Although I never intended to hurt her, I don't regret the decision I consciously made.
Nonetheless, AITA
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
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|
b2esbr
| null |
AITA LGBTQ edition
|
So my friend is joining the navy soon and I was interested in joining. I was asking them about what the ASVAB is like and how their family likes being in the Navy. They seemed fine until I asked
“Hey, so since you are non binary, where do you think they’ll have you sleep?”
And then they got really mad and said
“That’s fucking homophobic of you to ask!!!”
And I was like “oh I’m sorry I just didn’t know”
And they said
“Well I don’t want to be friends with a bigot”
And then they blocked me.
Was there a better way for me to ask? Do you think they’re just stressed about joining the navy and they took it out on me? I’m so confused. I didn’t realize what I said was wrong (homophobic might might be the right word since it has nothing to do with their sexual orientation... just their gender identity... but that’s the word they used so I quoted it)
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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|
agahhk
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{
"description": "wanting my now ex to \"touch me\" as well",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA For wanting my now ex to “touch me” as well?
|
Me and my now ex had been dating for two years. We hadn’t really done much sexually because we never really had the opportunity to.
However, we have had a few moments of blissful alone time where we could make out and such. After about the third time doing this, I decided to take it a step further and started to finger her. Neither of us had really had sexual interactions before so this was new to us. It was fun while it lasted and we were both satisfied.
One thing I did notice though was that she didn’t also touch me back. I just thought to myself that it was probably because she was nervous seeing as this was her first time in that type of situation.
Fast forward a bit and we’ve had occasions like this a good 3 or 4 times. I finger her, but get nothing in return.
I’d finally had enough and mentioned it to her. I was nice enough about it. Just simply stating it as a fact that she’s never done much for me sexually. And I’m hit with this:
“My stepdad made me give him handjobs when I was younger, so I’m not comfortable touching you.”
Now we had talked about her stepfather in the past and how he had sexually abused her, but that was it. She never told me what exactly happened or how she felt about sex in general due to the experience. Despite me asking a few different times, she refused to answer.
I was annoyed about this and told her that she should have told me this in the first place. And that struck a chord with her.
I just don’t know what to think about this tbh.
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HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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|
avurla
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{
"description": "convincing new guy to try getting his tape measure calibrated",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for convincing new guy to try getting his tape measure calibrated?
|
So this kid (22) has been with us for 6 months, hardly a new guy at this point (me: 25 been here 14 months). We are welders that produce petroleum tankers, our job includes fitting pipe, fenders, bumper, ladders, etc. BTW he was hired and had no clue how to read a tape measure, so he bought his own with the fractions printed on the tape.
Even though we have perfectly good blueprints to follow, he still needs to have me check his marks before he drills into the tank rail. Which is fine, its easier to ask a stupid question, rather then have to fix a fuck up. So he has me check where he marked to drill and he was off by 1/4", just like he was the last three measurements.
I proceeded to point out his mistake and I asked if he had had his tape measure calibrated before, he says he had never thought to do such a thing. So I grabbed the tape measure and mocked up a measurement and compared it to my tape measure to show him he was off a 1/4" every time. I tell him he may want to get it calibrated, and to go talk to our supervisor to have it checked using our "tape recalibrater." So he does, and comes back and tells me the supervisor will get him a new one.
I go to the supervisor and asked him "so you're not going to calibrate his tape?" He says, "there...is...no such thing, ill get him a new tape! If he asks again I'll go grab my "recalibrator" and fix his fucking tape!" Supervisor comes back a bit later with an 18" ruler and checks it out using the "bad" tape measure and turns out the tape measure was perfectly fine. He says "here you go sir, you're tape measure is perfectly calibrated and is working fine" -holds out tape measure before kid grabs it- "there is nothing wrong with this tape measure, if you are having consistant problems with where your measurement lands, it is completely an operator error, and i think someone is playing a joke on you."
-Kid points at me across aisle- I shout out "GOT EEEM" everyone laughs, who witnessed this calibration fiasco. Kid was not entertained, didnt even crack a smile for falling for a joke and proceeded to pout the rest of day. I caught up to him and said hey it's all in good fun don't take it so serious around here. It is now the next day at lunch time and he hasnt said more than 4 words to me, AITA?
our supervisor is not a hardass, and wasnt too annoyed by this whole distraction, so its not like the kid got scolded, he just got embarrassed and is super butthurt about it towards me.
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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b5pw3a
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{
"description": "cancelling my plans with my friend after a falling out",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I cancelled my plans with my friend after a falling out?
|
So my friend and I had a bit of a falling out and it is kinda my fault. We have a relationship where we both support each other and come to the other when we need someone to talk to.
Three weeks ago I was enjoying myself with a buddy I haven't seen since high school. Some beverages were consumed and during that night and apparently she reached out to me with something and I replied with a thumbs up picture (on Snapchat). I don't recall what she said and I didn't know I did this until she told me. To this day I don't know what she said. Since then we haven't talked much and when I reached out to her she left me on read. I stopped reaching out because I was dealing with my own stuff. She left me a message asking how I was doing after I lost my best friend from elementary school and she also admitted "that we haven't been talking and it was her fault." (Direct quote from the message). When I asked her about it she said she's going through a rough time and didn't want to add to my rough time. I asked about her rough time and she just said she was just going through a rough time. Which meant she didn't want to talk about it.
Fast forward another couple weeks, she makes a passive aggressive comment about me but not even to me. I confronted her about and asked what was going on. It took a lot of effort to get the conversation going but she finally admitted what was bothering her. Since the night with my buddy she said I have been dismissive of her. I immediantly apologized and said I didn't realize how I was making her feel. I admitted to be a total ass. I told her I still value our friendship and I understand her frustration with me. I've tried reaching out since then to patch things up but we haven't had a conversation. I understand she may need
space and I'm willing to give her it.
However, we had previously planned on me driving 10+ hours to come visit her. We haven't discussed me not going, but as it gets closer I am feeling less up to the drive. If we're not talking anymore I don't want to spend the time and money to make that drive. WIBTA for cancelling?
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HYPOTHETICAL
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ar2o4l
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{
"description": "leaving a family event early",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for leaving a family event early?
|
I've recently been to a family dinner at a restaurant. It was to celebrate my 8 year old cousin's birthday and there were only 9 people in total. I despise all family events and my family knows that. I always get bored, since I don't have anyone to talk to (I'm 16 and the cousin in question is the oldest other child, the rest are adults that talk about the colour of rugs they prefer...) and I'm frowned upon when I use my phone.
I was only informed about the dinner the day before (as my cousin's actual birthday is in two weeks, I wasn't expecting it). The restaurant we went to was moderately priced, but the waiting times for the dishes were pretty long. In the end I managed to wait for the main course, and I never get dessert anyways. It was a painful 2,5 hours and I've been desperatelly trying to entertain myself during most of it (maybe half an hour was actuall eating). During the whole dinner, I've been moaning to my mom about how I dislike being there and whether I could leave. She always told me to just grin and bear it. When my family started to order desserts, I finally snapped and told her I'm going home. I thanked and said my good byes and went to the bus stop.
I'm not worried about dissappointing my cousin since he wasn't very happy about being there either, he'd rather go to some fun place and not a boring restaurant. My mom is pretty understanding and just shrugged about the whole thing but my aunt (cousin's in question's mom) and grandma (aunts and my moms mom) are easy to be annoyed and pout. They're really the only 2 people that actually enjoyed the dinner.
AITA for not waiting another 1-1,5 hours of complete boredom, which would satisfy my maternal grandmother and aunt?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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b1u1h3
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{
"description": "wanting more money",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA For Wanting More Money?
|
I agreed to take care of a good friend's cats while they are on vacation. We agreed on $15 a day for 2 weeks to change the food and water, deal with the litterbox, and socialize a bit. I have done this before while working for a cat rehabilitation organization, but I still wanted some details on where stuff was and how they wanted it done in particular.
​
The day they left, I went to do my rounds and walked into a home unprepared for departure. There was raw food and open containers in the fridge, litter from the box everywhere (and more poop in there than 10 hours worth, which was much appreciated). Windows were unlocked and open. Now I was told to get the mail and deal with one of those fancy amazon tvs too (I had to set up the settings and reprogram it every day).
​
So I talked to them and cleaned up the fridge and floor. After a few days, more issues arose. The thermostat needed to be adjusted but they didn't tell me where it was or how to use it; I needed to vacuum up glass, but the vacuum was so filthy I needed to clean it myself or it wouldn't work; their mailbox ends up with a lot of their neighbor's mail so it needs to be sorted through and returned, but I had to repeatedly ask for names and info to know what to keep and where to put it all the while being told to just hang on to it because it happens all the time. And their stove and oven is potentially leaking gas.
​
My friend is claiming that there was no way they could have anticipated these issues, and that the stuff like cleaning and mail sorting is "my choice" and I didn't/don't "have to do all that", but it is stuff that SHOULD be done or should have been done before they left, if they had cared enough to do so.
​
AITA for asking for $20 a day instead of $15 due to having to deal with all these extra issues and jobs?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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b9smvf
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{
"description": "trying to get a family with their autistic son and visibly fake service dog banned from the theatre",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
WIBTA for trying to get a family with their autistic son and visibly fake service dog banned from the theatre?
|
to start, I go to musicals and plays very often. my family has season tickets that we buy each year so we're able to see all the shows that come. the tickets for this season is in the same row every time.
behind us, there is a family with a severely autistic child (not child, he's in his 20s) who makes noises the entire time, kicks everyone's seat, screams, and tries to sing along with the songs by going "BLEHBLEHBLEH". as well as this, the parents talk throughout the entire play to their son and what's happening, very, very loudly. even if we ask them to stop, they won't. it's disturbing everyone that sits remotely near them because they're so loud. someone from across the theatre last night actually shushed them very loudly. not only does he try and sing along, he also makes very loud farting noises with his mouth.
now onto the "service dog". I like dogs. I'd be fine with watching the play with the dog behind me, the dog is very cute. but their service dog is very fake. she growls at everyone walking by, will not listen to commands (i.e. yesterday the mom told the dog to sit, she didn't, the mom had to push the dogs butt on the floor), has a visbily fake service dog vest ordered from eBay, and is disruptive. the dog is also seperated from the autistic kid (we asked questions about the dog, the dog is the autistic kids), which is NEVER supposed to happen. the handeler and the dog should never be seperated (I'm getting a service dog soon, so I know this). we asked about the tasks and the lady froze up. she got really anxious and just said "she alerts me when something is going to happen" (the point of a service dog is to provide independence for the handler, so this contradicts) then quickly shut off the conversation. there's a lot more with the dog, but I'll stop there.
I feel bad because the autistic guy clearly enjoys coming to these, but the entire family is super disruptive to everyone at the theatre. Hamilton is the play after next, and I don't want to deal with them at Hamilton especially :(
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HYPOTHETICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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a4v9ws
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{
"description": "not wanting my boyfriend's mates to go on a trip with us",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting my boyfriend’s mates to go on a trip with us?
|
When I met my boyfriend he has already made plans to go to Japan with his two best mates. Although I really wanted to tag along, they wanted this to be a “boys trip” so I didn’t. When they came back, I asked my boyfriend if we could go next time as a couple and he said yes. We have had many discussions since then about where we should go and stay etc.
Fast forward a year, my boyfriend and his friends started to talk about Japan sporadically and made many jokes about wanting to go back to Japan again.
I really want to go just with him as a couple because I don’t have anything in common with his friends and the three of them would pretty much just ignore me if we went together. Plus I wouldn’t get to make any major decisions about the trip. So I made up my mind and told him that I don’t want them to come along. But if he wants to go with them he is welcome to do so, but I won’t be joining them. He then got a bit mad at me because “it sounded like I was accusing him of wanting to go with his friends”.
Today my boyfriend got a bit drunk and told me about his true feelings. It turns out that he really wants his friends to tag along and he is willing to make specific rules so that I get to decide where I want to go. But I know they won’t hold up once we get there. I told him again that if he wants to go with them then I won’t come because I don’t want to feel left out on a group trip, and I would be okay with it. However he really wants me to come as well.
Basically I gave him an ultimatum choosing between me and his friends because I don’t want to travel with his friends. I’m really sad and confused by how insistent he is about including his mates on our trip.
AITA here for not wanting his friends to tag along with us?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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a18b53
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{
"description": "leaving notes around the warehouse",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for leaving notes around the warehouse?
|
To give a little context, I'm a sole receiver at a retail store, with has a pretty big warehouse to keep organized. I've worked here for a year and found a bunch of really annoying things going on.
We are big on recycling here and besides the basic cardboard/paper/plastic, we recycle toners/ink, writing instruments, battery, and electronic waste (E-waste). Because I'm responsible for the warehouse, I'm responsible for things going out - like garbage and recycling. I'm pretty OCD so when our own employees don't follow our recycling policy, I kind of lose it... everytime. I will come back the next day and there will be shopping carts full of E-waste right next to the bins where you need to throw them into. I will find bags of batteries on tables instead of inside their designated boxes at the FRONT of the store. They will leave carts full of toner and ink beside the boxes they should be putting them into. The list goes on.
I should note that I'm not a confrontation person, I'll just suck it up and clean up after people. But after a year of the same nonsensical laziness, I couldn't be passive anymore. I first started posting notes around where the recycling spots are, but that doesn't seem to stop people. I've talked to management countless times and they say they will deal with it, but never do. I know there are some serious flaws in training here, but that's a whole other story.
Today I had enough. We had a few extra defective large white boards so I wrote some "rules of the warehouse" and crammed as much info I could on it. One guy walked by and was like "LOL, You're pissed eh???". I nonchalantly said, "no I just need to make things clear", although I am a bit pissed.
I could understand if people think I'm petty, but I'm just looking for people's perspective. Am I an asshole or just trying to do my part for the environment? Should I expect anything more from retail life?
TL;DR: Tired of cleaning up after people, I leave a bunch of notes and a huge list of rules about recycling.
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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|
aqmm1x
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{
"description": "wanting to go full neckbeard for a few months",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA for wanting to go full neckbeard for a few months?
|
Ill try and keep this concise but it needs a little background info. Im 27 now, ive been working since I was 16. I got my first job in a kitchen, and have stuck with it and until recently was working in some great places. I realized 2 years ago that there was no way in hell I wanted to do this for the rest of my life and made plans to go back to school. After saving, getting my money in order im starting school in September! However, my recent kitchen things went south pretty fast, wont go into details but I was let go and wasn't thrilled about the circumstances.
So now my family and girlfriend have just assumed im bored all the time and started volunteering me for random shit. Babysitting, Dogsitting, taxi service, grocery man and handyman have all become my new jobs. At first I didnt mind but im getting more and more fed up with it. Im a big gamer, built myself a sweet PC a few months ago, but I never really had tons of time for it. Sure maybe I just want to play Resident Evil 2 for 10 hours in a day, but considering this is my first vacation ever, I think I should be allowed. However they are just start getting kinda mean if I bring up what I was doing or wanted to do with my day, saying I need to act like an adult. Im starting to believe them, I guess it is acting like a teenager but I never really got to do it and just want to chill the hell out for a little bit. I cant tell if im the asshole because they make me feel like im avoiding adult life, but as far as im concerned my bills are all paid, there is no financial burden with this and I dont live with my girlfriend so just leave me alone with my tendies for a few days. So AITA?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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RIGHT
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|
b2es4t
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{
"description": "not responding to my ex-wife's text message",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for not responding to my ex-wife’s text message?
|
I thought today was going to be productive in my relationship with my ex-wife and our co-parenting, because we were going to have a joint birthday party for our 3 year old son (it was rescheduled from last month due to weather)
My ex called me about 8am saying that our 3 year old son had thrown up (he had been sick on Thursday/Friday as well). She said that I needed to pick him up and watch him while she took my 6 year old to the party with all the other kids. I got offended and replied why aren’t you the one that staying home? Ex responded that she done everything for the party and couldn’t believe I had the audacity to even suggest that. I don’t deny that she scheduled the party and got the cake, but the cost was always agreed to be 50/50 and if she asked me to do one of those tasks I would have. I was about to start a spin class so I told her I would call her back afterwards, party because I didn’t want to get into it by just reacting. According to her I hung up on her. In all honesty time was short, it was 8am and the party started at 9:50. The venu was non-refundable.
When I called back she had already decided that she would stay home with our son and I would go to the party. Since I had also thought about the situation, I explained that I’d be happy to stay with him, but she said no. She then yelled at me (in front of our 6 year old) about how she shouldn’t have to pay me child support, and that she’s working too much right now so I should have the kids more days on top of the extra days I have (right now it’s a 60/40, but most of the year it’s 50/50).
I went to the party and afterwards I picked up my 3 year old. Fast forward to after dinner she asked how or son was doing. I told her he had thrown up again, but he was in good spirits. (It’s day 5, so he has to be through this already, RIGHT?!). I told her if he ate and was normal tomorrow am I was going to send him to daycare. She then proceeded to tell me he shouldn’t go to day care tomorrow and if I did take him she was going to tell the daycare he was sick today - which either makes me look bad or I have to deal with leaving work to pick him up, To prevent some reddit hate, I had already decided to keep my son home.
She called and I did not answer and she directly texted me “so then you’ll keep him home”, to which I have not responded. I can’t think of any response I give that won’t just play into her trying to push me around and be aggressive towards me. AITA? I”m hoping to wake up tomorrow with some reddit induced clairvoyance on if I should tell the ex that my son is staying home, or just continue to not engage.
TLDR: It’s a pain in the ass to share kids with an ex-husband or ex-wife. It sucks being forever linked to someone you weren’t meant to be with.
|
HISTORICAL
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EVERYBODY
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WRONG
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9y269x
|
{
"description": "not talking to my grandma anymore",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
Wibta for not talking to my grandma anymore?
|
She craves drama and stirs the pot to add excitement to her miserable life, she threatened to get my brother in law fired if he becomes a cop. And recently sat idly while my grandpa threatened to beat me up over a petty disagreement, and even took his side. She lies a whole lot. But I am hesitant to because nothing with last consequences happened to me yet, she does try and talk me out of college because she thinks I'm retarded. But thats nothing, and I don't listen to her anyway.
So I don't know if it'd be bad or justified.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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|
b4slk3
|
{
"description": "wanting my so to delete any Pornographic images/ videos of ex's",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For wanting my SO to delete any Pornographic images/ videos of ex's?
|
My SO has old photos and videos of their ex's on their computer and phone. WIBTA to ask them to get rid of all of it? Relationship is going on 2 years and we're getting really serious. What do you all think?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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|
aovg7u
|
{
"description": "not accepting gifts",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not accepting gifts
|
Last December I purchased a few items online and wasn't able to ship them to my place at the time however I asked my Aunt if she would receive the items for me and ship them to me when I was ready. Skip to early last month I tell her to post my stuff and I'd pay for shipping and handling when I go collect it. I never asked to pay for anything which she didn't. After she ships it she calls me to tell me that she sent some extra stuff to help me 'set up'. I said it was fine once everything fits in the box.
​
Skip to me going to pick up my box and low and behold it's not one but THREE boxes. Here I was expecting a $60-80 shipping fee and I got slapped with bill over $300. So I immediately called her asked her what was all this stuff and she said she sent me sheet sets, curtains and shower curtains among other stuff. Well I immediately got mad because I never asked her for any of these things and I said as much. I went off about the bill and said it was not fair to put me in that situation. She then had the gall to say that it didn't matter because she was shipping my things so I would have had to pay the money anyway. She got even angrier at me and said that she would never do any more 'favours' for me again and that I was an ungrateful brat.
​
Important thing to note is that the things she sent most of them were used (Things she probably used once or twice and then choked it away in a cupboard.) My opinion is that she used this opportunity to de-clutter her closets.
​
Am I the asshole here or should I be appreciative?
|
HISTORICAL
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}
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OTHER
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{
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RIGHT
|
oh68PQckClOrgLYcXEfj2UQ7PDiWjkU7
|
ah0ytf
|
{
"description": "calling animal control on my neighbor with 7+ dogs",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
WIBTA for calling animal control on my neighbor with 7+ dogs?
|
Necessary background info, please read all of it before passing judgement
- I live in an area of unincorporated Los Angeles County (California), which means the legal maximum number of dogs is 4 per household/property unless its a business/rescue operation kinda deal
- The neighbor lives on around a half acre of land, the dogs have plenty of room to run around it, no obvious health hazard, all seem well fed but not fat. Its 3 large dogs (Shepheard mixes) and 4 small dogs (2 chihuahua mixes, 2 or 3 fluffy thing mixes).
- Its not even the number of dogs that gets me. The problem is they have inadequate fencing made of vertical steel slats, so that the bigger dogs are well contained, but the small little yappy fluffy shit heads can walk right through onto the street and harass people walking by, wander into peoples front yards and bark at them, or in an extreme case, slip through a gap in the neighbors across the street's fence, and get in a fight with their 2 german shepherds. I managed to break it up and the little yapper ran back through both fences home, but i haven't seen it since, which was 2 weeks ago, and is why I say they have 2 or 3 fluffy dogs.
My main worry is if I called animal control to report the issue about the improper fencing allowing the dumb little shits out, animal control would get angry about the 7+ dogs and make the neighbor get rid of some, which is the thing that I might be an asshole for.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 8,
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}
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
THfyYIPh6M5xmLL0tZfYe0g8xnt2vrFi
|
af9xfz
|
{
"description": "being upset over this",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being upset over this?
|
My friend Olivia paid for me and my friend Judy’s trip were all taking together. I paid Olivia back ASAP and then Olivia asked me if I could pay for Judy’s trip cause she knows I have a decent savings account... she said Judy could pay me back later. The trip is 1500 dollars. I’m kind of pissed. Judy shouldn’t have gone if she couldn’t afford it upfront and since I have a savings account I apparently am automatically supposed to be able to pay.... I feel it should be their problem. Problem is that I live in Judy’s apartment and pay her rent monthly so I feel I can’t tell her much. I have a savings but most is in a CD account. I had to move and pay for that. Pay for expensive contacts and glasses this month cause I have shitty vision too. Like 1500 for that because my vision is so poor and I need special glasses.
Our texts:
Olivia: Okay. Hey can you pay me for violets part of the trip. And she’ll pay you back in a month or two. I don’t have the means for waiting that long, but I know you have a savings account. LOL. So I asked if I can ask you to pay me and she can pay you back and she said well if you have the means for it.
Me: Honestly it’s not my responsibility.
Olivia: I don’t know what made you upset or triggered last night, but when your friends (Violet or I) ask you for help, you don’t need to be insensitive or rude or mean about it.
Me: It’s not my responsibility to pay. I paid my portion. Y’all should have discussed this before. I wasn’t rude. I literally told you it’s not my responsibility. What’s actually insensitive is you assuming that I’ll just fork out that much money to y’all when literally this is not my problem at all. Y’all should have talked about it. And for you approach me so nonchalantly about it and say “lol” when you’re asking me for over a grand to help you out with a problem that y’all should have discussed and I have no part in honestly pissed me off.
Olivia: OK, Vanessa.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
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OTHER
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{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
bnjHlt5ajLhuBY39RPWEUh7vauXxtjxK
|
b2sa2t
|
{
"description": "telling a girl I don't want to talk until closer to our date",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for telling a girl I don't want to talk until closer to our date?
|
I met a girl at an event a few weeks ago, and we really hit it off right away. We exchanged numbers and continued chatting, and within a few days decided we'd go out sometime soon. Since she lives sort of far away, though, we decided to meet up whenever is next convenient.
However, over the next few weeks as we continue talking she began to become sort of clingy, saying things that I feel should only be said to someone in a relationship, such as "I really need you right now." I asked her if we could slow down, and she said yes and apologized.
A few days later, she mentioned that her last SO up and left her and she was worried I would too, especially since her and I don't live near each other. I told her I was sorry she felt that way but I wasn't comfortable talking hypotheticals about a relationship that doesn't even exist yet (as we haven't even gone on a first date), and that maybe it's better if we don't talk until a few days before we actually meet up (in a few weeks from now).
She seemed miffed but said yes and we left it at that. I know she feels like she messed up and made herself look like an idiot in front of me, and I like her a lot, but I just feel like she and I weren't moving at the same pace and I feel this is a way of getting her to slow down to my speed. Maybe I shouldn't have even been texting her before the first date, but we were speaking the entire event and it just seemed like a natural continuation of that event.
So, AITA for asking if we could not talk until we get closer to the date of our first date?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
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NOBODY
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
4cxd3H3rFmFfT30tRhn2NXaurRQ6vSHt
|
a1jhyu
|
{
"description": "being jealous of my best friend",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being jealous of my best friend
|
I met her two years ago in an art school. We've been together all the time since then. But due to my insecurities, I am jealous of her, let me explain.
Firstly,her art has always been better than mine. I can tolerate that, I don't mind. I actually really love her art, the problem is when she actually failed at something (because yeah, she doesn't do everything perfectly) and I actually do better for once but she still gets a better grade...
I also envy her personality, it's weird cause at the same time people can hate her because she can be quite agressive and all but people also love her cause she is funny. Like, she is really funny. She can talk to anyone, and as a shy person who'd like to get along with more people I really envy her. That's the reason why teachers love her even though she gets shit grades in any option that isn't artistic and is loud. I have shit grades too but I'm shy and not funny so obviously teachers don't give a fuck about me.
Lately, she's been talking to my crush, not often, but they tease each other from times to times and you have no idea how jealous I feel. He doesn't even look at me, he barely aknowledges my existence but he teases her and is playful with her. It makes me feel so bad.
And there are other small things, some feeling I get from time to time.
I despise myself for feeling like that, but I can't help it, I'm just too insecure. I love all of what I said about her but at the same time it makes me feel bad.
So, AITH?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 4,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
uRppZF3D8hXO8YrYE2DmD97QT1D0ICQo
|
ard25r
|
{
"description": "rejecting my friend and hurting her feelings",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for rejecting my friend and hurting her feelings?
|
Title sounds weird but the story may help.
So a couple weeks back one of my friend's girlfriend (we'll call her Grace) came up to me and started to talk to me.
Grace talked about why I haven't asked my friend out (we'll call her Miranda). I told her that she wasn't my type.
Miranda was...a weird girl. Some days she'll come to school normal, but some days she'll come mad or sad (probably over an argument over siblings or parents). She's violent too. She got into a fight last year and got ISS (in school suspension) for 2 days. For her close friends (like me) she'll "playfully" hurt them. She would sometimes punch me, kick me, etc. aswell as to others. She also uses foul language most of the time too. She gives out hints that she may likes me (ex. getting too close to me, asking for hugs and if I decline she'll get pissed, etc.)
That was the reason why Miranda wasn't my type, and why I would never go out with her because she's a foul human being. But you see, I can be nice sometimes so I didn't say all of that to Grace. I told her that her emotions can be mixed up. If you don't know what I'm talking about, it's when I said where she'll sometimes be happy, sad, or mad. Forgot to mention that this can change anytime throughout the day.
So I'm pretty sure Miranda heard what I said, so she was pretty sad for a few days. I avoided her most of the time, and focused on my other friends. Her friends (only like 2 of them) kept saying over and over to say sorry to her. I didn't want to. Why? She's sensitive. When she says something rude to me I could give no shits. But when I say something rude, she'll start complaining how rude I am and shit. It gets annoying which is why I usually act passive towards her.
I forgot what happened later, but here's the aftermath:
We started to eachother like before. I try to avoid her sometimes, but when I have no one else to talk to she's the only option.
Miranda ended up being alone for Valentine's Day since I didn't bother to ask her out. I got a very sweet girlfriend and we hung out that time.
Yesterday she asked if I don't want to hang out with her anymore since I avoid her most of the time. I didn't answer the question because I don't want to make this situation worse.
While writing this story, it looks like I was an asshole at some parts but was mostly Miranda that was the asshole. Let me see what you guys think.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
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OTHER
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{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
vrQePCDFO0rKl1fkGkB5obMjowwqszQk
|
a4i9gi
| null |
AITA from saying to getting rid of two problematic cats?
|
**Before I am attacked for even suggesting getting rid of cats;** we are not getting rid of them, this was just a discussion between me and my husband.
My husband and I had 3 cats. (1 male named Prince and 1 female Kiki- litter mates 4yrs old) and (1 female 1 yr old named Pants) and they all got along great and we had no issues. In May 2018 we took in my Dad's cats (1 female named Mama 5yr and 1 female named Boots 4yr) due to some housing issues. All of our cats get along except for Kiki and the two new cats. They torment her, gang up and corner her and slap the shit out of her, and attack her when she has her back turned. Since we have taken them in, Kiki has peed in our dirty clothes laundry baskets at the bottom of the stairs about 5 times. I know it is her because I have caught her in the act. I think it is because she is stressed, and because she has tried to go to the litter box that is further in the basement but the two cats have been blocking her way and she can't get to the litter boxes. We have 5 litter boxes that I clean once a day and change the litter/fill them with new litter once a week. Kiki has been tested for a UTI and has been negative for any issues. Its a slight inconvenience to wash out the basket but its plastic so I just wash it with vinegar in the bathtub and then soak the clothes in the bathtub with vinegar and oxi clean. There are also things we can do to keep her from getting in there, such as purchasing hamper style baskets with lids.
My husband told me that if Kiki keeps peeing in the baskets that she will have to go. He is the asshole for even suggesting that because I don't want to get rid of any cats. I love them all, but if I had to I told him I would get rid of the two new cats. We have had Kiki since she was 8weeks old, my stepdaughter is very,very attached to Kiki and it would absolutely break her little heart if she was gone. I feel awful for bringing in these two cats in that torture her endlessly every day but my dad doesn't want them back. They are the problem, not Kiki.
So AITA for saying to get rid of the two cats or my husband for saying to get rid of Kiki, the one he sees as problematic?
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
rJRMKBYQvE6qdykr1YameJzU0ngDT3IF
|
al5k7r
|
{
"description": "leaving my friend behind",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for leaving my friend behind
|
Background info;
I give my friend D a ride home everyday, since he lives right next to me, sometimes I bring my friend T when I don't have to be home right away, since his house is out of the way.
This morning was cold, not crazily cold, but below freezing, T wanted a ride from me to school, but it wasn't my day to get him (I scheduled for him when I do), I told him this, and he tried to guilt me into taking him, talking about how his bus would be cold, to help him out, I said no. He then avoided me for the day, which I didn't care, as it's not my job to get him.
He texts me, asking if I could do him a favor, to stay 5 mins late so he could finish a test. I agree, as long as D doesn't have to be home right away, he then thanks me. After the last period we meet up and T goes to do the test, D asks if we were waiting, because he had to be home for a doctors appointment before work. My first thought was to text T, to which I said I couldn't give him a ride, he asked me to give him 5 mins. I decided to do it, because I felt kinda bad. 5 mins passed and we decided to leave, so I texted him telling him we were leaving, I tried moving slowly, sat behind a parked car, trying to give him time, but he didn't show up.
I drove away, and about 5 mins later he calls to ask where I was, to which I told him I left, he asked why, and I told him that D can't miss his appointment, to which he got really angry and hung up. So am I the asshole?
Tl;dr friend wanted a ride, told him I could as long as I didn't have to be home quickly, had to be home quickly, left him at school.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 5,
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}
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
cNd9K0T9RZ4uxfQVE7JwbxIbeSlYo9T5
|
auqwfh
|
{
"description": "not understanding my boyfriend jealousy",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not understanding my boyfriend jealousy?
|
So me and my boyfriend have been together for almost one month, in a long distance relationship. I've never seen him f2f, but we talked on snapchat and we facetime frequently. He is really sweet but I don't think he understands that a girl can be friends with a person of the opposite sex.
Everytime I post a picture on social media and a boy friend comments with something like "beauty", "you so are pretty" he literally starts a rage. He makes them losers, dumb and the list goes on. In the last 4 days all we have done was fighting over this subject and I'm already sick of it. Honestly I don't know what to do. It is my fault?
I personally don't see something wrong with appreciating compliments coming from boys. Am I an asshole not understanding his worries?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
LXCPj6bRwZhWLfx2ZDaoq0w8RuveqH9B
|
b4t2v1
|
{
"description": "telling my friends to stop taking about their periods",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA If I tell my friends to stop taking about their periods?
|
There are two friends I like talking to and they're really good friends, but happy the time so they talk about is their period. They don't make me uncomfortable or anything I get that it's a natural body function, but it's just kinda annoying and gross, and they have other times where they could talk about it not around me. I just don't know if it'll seem like I'm just being a dumb jerk
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
E0tsiS1STMeWgLzSkJD7SR4riOfBfYq2
|
axeodc
|
{
"description": "buying drugs from the chinese Mafia",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for buying drugs from the Chinese Mafia
|
I've been a cannabis grower for years in California. When I first started to sell to shops, it was always common to look at the other growers products, and one grower always produced quality that was so much better than the rest of the growers. It turned out the producer had a Ph.D in botany and started growing cannabis with high CO2 saturation levels, well before it was an industry standard.
As a fellow producer, his product was the only product I was willing to spend money on, as I have more than enough at my own place. As the cannabis industry has matured, his product always has been one step ahead. I've only talked with him a handful of times over the past decade, mostly trouble shooting or trying to get tips here and there, but the last time I talked to him was shortly after all the [cannabis raids](https://www.sacbee.com/news/local/crime/article207911324.html) in California last year. Many growers were getting nervous as the regulations were changing people who lagged behind were being raided left and right. When I brought it up to him, he was extra somber and told me he's had quite a few friends that got arrested in that specific sting. As realization dawned on me, I asked him if he was connected with the syndicate. He admitted to such, stating they covered his education and other things. He sells enough of his stuff stateside just to cover local bills, but the bulk of his supply goes back to mainland China.
His product is amazing, and over the years even my business wasn't always completely on the up and up. So whenever he finishes curing the specific strains my wife and I love, I get a call stating my delivery is on its way. I feel bad knowing I am purchasing from a crime syndicate that more than likely uses that income on more nefarious things other than cannabis and psychedelics. I've also upgraded over the years, moving from purchasing an Oz here and there from him, to now purchasing about a pound a month. His is the only cannabis I'll buy to resell, as it never has any issues selling out and making more than its money back. So I've contributed a substantial amount over the years.
Currently, I'm still purchasing from him every month. I've actually been purchasing more as the likelihood of him being raided appears to be higher than it was prior. Does this make me an asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
BTUz7sorLW1TwcN4Bc32EP5IYRPIoh47
|
b2igpb
|
{
"description": "making a Joke of an Accent kinda",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA-For Making a Joke of An Accent kinda
|
On mobile sorry for formatting
So the story goes as follows
Me:yours truly friend 1:F1 friend 2 :F2 Friendly Girl :FG MR. teacher: MR.G
Im a high school student and my 1st periods is a study hall with a couple of friends in here. So we start joking around about anime and
FG joins in an says” oh i can say hi how are u in Chinese”
I responded with the only Chinese i know “ says hi in Chinese”
F1 and F2 and me start saying hi in chinese with a accent
F1 then says something that sounds like chinese in a regular voice (his regular voice has a spanish accent)
Mr.G comes and says we are all Racists and that what we are saying is racism and is pushing a stereotype.
We start arguing in what is racist and why we are/arent
Now am i the asshole for thinking that making a joke that while insensitive doesn’t make u racist
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
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}
|
NOBODY
|
{
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"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
YxY2rd2O3Qt9UWnvFE3UZH1TV85DvjBH
|
9uki6x
|
{
"description": "saying \"who cares\" in a topic about a dead guy with CANCER",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for saying "Who cares" In a topic about a dead guy with CANCER?
|
Aight, so I was in a PlayStation party, and a DUDE(character for this) was talking about one of the nicest people he had ever met(do you see where this is going?). This DUDE had helped a guy with cancer get through some raids and dlc things on Destiny. In return, the guy with cancer gave him some money to buy a dlc. On hearing this, I went full box of rocks stupid and said "Who cares he was going to die anyway." Time slowed, what seemed like an eternity was really only 8 seconds of beads of sweat plummeting into my lap. The DUDE then told me the cancer guy had died 4 months ago. The guilt trip went into overdrive, and I was flying towards the "Power off" button in a few minutes.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 0,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
Vtl94C0tqEraoz69AgfTRwDG9HFISdLz
|
ata8ch
|
{
"description": "kicking out my brand-new housemate because he's not clean enough",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I kicked out my brand-new housemate because he's not clean enough?
|
We (2 F) just got a new housemate a few days ago and I'm already wishing we hadn't chosen him.
So, we have a 10 month old baby who crawls everywhere and has her fingers in everything. Our new housemate, G, is a super lovely guy but A. He doesn't wash his hands after going to the toilet (something I've tried hinting at to avoid addressing it directly) and B. He spent 45 minutes in the bathroom trimming goodness knows what hair on his body (I saw him doing his belly & later he closed the door which can only mean pubes, right..?). I left before he finished, and when I got back (He wasn't in) I wanted to do the baby night routine when I found his hair everywhere!! On toothbrushes, contact lens cases, mouth guard etc. When I saw loads floating in baby's bath, I lost it and texted him. I was frank but nice (I asked a friend). While I was at it I mentioned the hand washing. He is also a smoker despite us clearly stating non-smokers only. (He told me he assumed outside is ok. No, it's not, man!) I THINK he now vapes in his room (which I'm not happy about) but he says it's without the nicotine. Either way, his room smells stuffy already. (It drafts into the hall.) Oh, and I also went on a cleaning spree after this and I found parts of the toilet full of pee spray. I'm seriously grossed out. But he is a nice lad! (I haven't talked to him yet because he's still not home but I intend to in the morning. I talked to him about the smoking and he said "I'll stop. Dont worry." But I know from someone who saw him the next day that he had a cigarette.)
Anyway, WIBTA if I give him his notice already? Would that be unfair? Or should I give him a chance and see if he betters himself?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
lFP0ltdbSqhLP5TusoC7Ani1d02PXjhK
|
aj95c6
|
{
"description": "refusing to let my ex sell expensive concert tickets",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for refusing to let my ex sell expensive concert tickets?
|
In the beginning of January I broke it off with my then girlfriend of a few months, and she was quite devastated.
For Christmas I had bought us tickets to see Post Malone live in concert in March. Since the tickets quickly sold out I had to resort to buying them from a “scalper” website where I only pay for the tickets after the show, to guarantee them being legit. This bumps up the price to a total of about $300 for two tickets.
Now, since we broke up she has repeatedly told me that she no longer wants the tickets, until last night when she was out having drinks with our colleagues (we work together. Don’t shit where you eat, folks!) and she suddenly texts me that she now wants the tickets to sell them to our colleague.
I told her no, saying that my Christmas gift to her was to see Postie live, not a bunch of money.
She can still go see the concert if she want’s to, I’ll gladly pay for her ticket and sell mine to whoever she chooses to bring along. I just think it’s kind of a dick move to text me asking for the tickets to sell them now that she’s seen a chance at some easy money.
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
13svLGSPq3oV56s9MvECCPkG5gU8aCKz
|
aj91ib
|
{
"description": "getting pissed after my fiancè (of 2 weeks) broke up with me over text",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting pissed after my fiancè (of 2 weeks) broke up with me over text?
|
This is a repost, I changed the typo in my title and cleared up some stuff in the story my friend mentioned didn't make sense. The title is a little biased, he's not the only one in the wrong, that's why I'm posting this here.
I started dating my (ex?)bf February of last year. He was a senior at the time and I was a junior.
We dated throughout the summer and everything was pretty good, besides some petty couple's fights that would happen.
This was until about August when the fights started getting worse. It wasn't specifically one person's fault I think both of us could have done better. Later in the month he told me he wanted to join the Army.
Now, at first I flipped absolute shit. I started fights constantly and was upset all the time because he was going to be in basic for almost the entirety of my Senior year. After a little while I calmed down a bit, and so did most of our arguments.
He was set to ship off to basic September 17. I think it was September 14 we ended up getting in a really petty fight and he came over and broke up with me, I think more because of the accumulation of arguments than that specific one.
Now at this point a lot had been going on but I had missed my period for a whole month now, but I didn't think much of it because I had just gotten the implant, but my friend convinced me to take a test. Bingo. I was pregnant. Apparently there was a loophole that you had to wait a week if you didn't get it on the last day of your period.
I ended up telling him, and I had the test and everything to prove it was real. Now, personally, I'm really pro life, and even though I was 17 I wanted to keep it, and so did he. He said he wanted to stay broken up for basic, but wanted to get back together after. I agree.
About two weeks after he left, I'm doing his streaks on Snapchat and this random girl hits me up and asks what he's been writing to me about (all sweet stuff about how he'd make it right after basic). Turns out the day after he found out I was pregnant he went over to her house to make out and told her he wanted to marry her. I'm pretty pissed, not because he did it, technically we we're broken up, but because he was playing both of us.
Long story short about a month later after she completely shut him down after she found out, we got back together. Right before this had happened however, I had miscarried, but he knew it wasn't just me faking it bc I had gotten an ultrasound at my baby Dr's a week or two before.
I turned 18 in November, but besides that no more eventful things happened. Now of course I wasn't great but everything went well from that point on, and he came home for holiday block leave. He ended up proposing to me on Christmas, and wanted to get married over leave, which is two weeks long. I ended up agreeing, but unfortunately did so too late, we didn't have time to do even a courthouse wedding. We agreed to do it once he came back after graduation to get his stuff (the reason why we were rushing so much was because in the military you have to get married to be able to live together).
The Wednesday after he left he borrowed his friends phone, because he had somehow snuck it past the drill sergeants. He logged into snap to tell me how excited he was and everything seeing is his graduation is on January 31st. The real problem started this last Saturday when I confirmed my airline tickets to his base and back, and my 4 day hotel stay, both of which were with his parents, as my mother couldn't go. This ended up costing about 800 dollars.
Now everyone at basic regularly gets their phone every Sunday. He missed the first Sunday after leave ended which is understandable. He ends up texting me this past Sunday, which caught me off guard, as it was about an hour after he usually had gotten his phone before.
He said he had an important topic, and proceeded to tell me that we moved to fast, which I can completely understand, but then pretty much said that we shouldn't have gotten back together after our breakup.
Now the only logical explanation I have is that he talked to his dad before me, and told him we were engaged. This is because he always got his phone on the hour, but this time he didn't text me until about 15 after. Now the problem with his dad, is that even though we used to get along, after the whole pregnancy thing, he was convinced that I was a terrible person, telling my bf that I cheated on him, that the baby wasn't his, that it wasn't a miscarriage, it was an abortion, which literally anyone who knows me knows how strongly I feel against that, and also that I was apparently cheating on him after he left for basic too.
When he was back for leave, his dad came up with this huge speech about how I'm manipulating him and how I'm never allowed at his house again, which is why we spent so much time at his mom's when he was home.
At this point I'm 800 bucks down if I don't get some more information by next Saturday (I was supposed to leave next Tuesday) so I ended up posting on here too get other people's opinions.
AITA for being pissed? Or even the asshole if it seems like I caused the situation?
Edit: I forgot to mention that with the whole engagement meant that I was prepping to move down to Texas, where he's getting stationed after basic. I have about two weeks left of online classes and was starting to pack up for the move.
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
|
KJNpY6oCd1lktN6YIYL5rWA8TM8joLKM
|
aourze
| null |
AITA my 'influencer' friend no longer credits photos I took (I'm semi-professional) because of a fight we had
|
In the summer of 2017, I took a trip with a 'friend' and a few others to help with a project. I was super into photography at the time, and had done lots of shoots with them before for free. As I'd gotten more serious I started watermarking my photos, which had already caused some friction. During the trip I found I didn't have enough room on my memory cards, so this friend offered to store them on her laptop to send to me later, totaling around 3000 photos. The trip itself was an awful experience, but that's another story. After the fact she revealed she didn't plan on watermarking my photos, nor paying me for them, and asked for £50 from each person who came for the cost of food (that her dad had paid for) and a bottle of wine for our host (which no one else had been consulted about). When I confronted her about this, she doubled down, and eventually felt that the £50 I refused to pay settled it. From my perspective, nowhere close. Our other friend refused to stand up for me, and never got copies of the photos she was in. She is angry at me for not letting it go. For those curious I did receive copies of the photos, in jpeg instead of RAW format, which I can't do as much with in editing -this friend sent a handful in RAW but gave up because of how long it takes. This all came back to me -we've had an uneasy peace where she will put my name in her instagram captions- a few days ago. I decided this morning to comment "Hiya, could you please credit me thank you x" (or that's as close as I can remember). The comment has been deleted and my profile blocked. AITA for not letting it go?
TL;DR: took 3000 near-professional pics for a friend, she won't acknowledge I did or pay me, and I can't let it go
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
Xw3hFj1qKrQMtWX3IaaAgzCTlcGtdmxo
|
aowy41
|
{
"description": "telling my sister to get an abortion",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for telling my sister to get an abortion?
|
She's 19. Some lowlife drug addict got her pregnant and of course he doesn't want anything to do with the baby. My sister is also a drug addict herself and honestly I think she would be a terrible mother. She is always rude, mean, ect, I just can't stand her. So when she told me she was pregnant I told her to get an abortion. She's really upset but she can't tell on me to my parents cuz they don't know she's pregnant yet lol. But she cried so I do feel a little bad. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
w7eOdbX9WURmDlxce9o8ZKOyyEr07cWn
|
aq4a2u
|
{
"description": "wanting a doctor to lose their license",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for wanting a doctor to lose their license?
|
I’m going to keep this ambiguous as possible for legal reasons. Also I don’t have the immediate leverage to get someone to lose their license but it’s been a dispute in my family that irritates me to no end.
I had an immediate family member suffer a life-ending injury from a mistake made by a doctor. There is proof of this in writing. The day of the incident someone in my family (who wasn’t the patient) noted the doctor was late, and seemingly stressed so they mentioned to postpone the procedure. Doctor goes ahead with procedure, fuckup happens and now legal case ensues. After the incident it took years to get records of what actually happened, and the hospital was being very tight lipped about everything in the immediate aftermath.
The same family member who expressed concern to the doctor now keeps saying they don’t want to be vindictive and don’t want this doctor to lose their livelihood. I wholly disagree, as their mistake was clear negligence and cost me and my family someone I loved and will never get back, when it was a simple procedure that should have gone through with minimal fuckups. My deceased family member had a good chance of increased life expectancy after the procedure. I don’t want to entertain the chance they can destroy someone’s life and family like this again. The person who disagrees with me is the front of the legal case, and refuses my opinion entirely, under the guise of “good catholic faith”
AITA for wanting justice or being too “vindictive” about what happened?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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NOBODY
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|
RIGHT
|
PbzB0oHICfXiYYOVn9GD3TgLuChgckoT
|
ay7hhi
|
{
"description": "being disappointed at gf for not planning travel leave in advance",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being disappointed at gf for not planning travel leave in advance?
|
Guys before jumping into conclusions about my gf's situation let me give some background.
OK my gf is the middle of some really complicated and stressful situations at work. And she does work for a class A, asshole.
I've already spoken about this trip weeks ago knowing that she might run into some trouble booking her leave dates. She did not book the leave dates until I reminded her how close we are to the travel date. And now there is more complications involved at her job.
Honestly I feel if she had just taken 10mins to lock in the leave dates a few weeks earlier, things would not be such a mess.
I'm trying to be kind and understanding but it would not be the first time this has happened and usually I would let it slide. I know her work situation is hell but there is a repetitive cycle of this.
Now that the trip is a few days away, her leave hasn't been approved and I'm just really upset.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
f18EVwkWQAsUCNnAKFWR6FvGg4NJFmIC
|
ak4ov6
|
{
"description": "not wanting to be with him",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting to be with him?
|
I know this sounds like an obvious question, but hear me out.
So this is a guy I just met a few months ago (met through school). And we kinda hit it off.
He likes anime, I like anime and we are both artist. (Him more than me)
He asked for my number after 5 classes. We start talking and I started to like him.
He liked me too. But, I am currently waiting for someone and I told him this when he confessed.
Ever since he confessed, he's been texting me "I want to live with you forever" and "joke about calling me girlfriend.
I was fine with this ,but I asked him not to tell anyone about us, as drama spreads around our school like wildfire.
5 days after I told him this, I found out our class, his best friend, AND his other classmates found out about us.
Now, he is VERY sensitive, and I love that but I have to watch what I say to him. You will soon find out why.
So I confronted him about this and he said that he was talking about me in another class.
He said he was sorry and we moved on. But I found out the hard way that he is not boyfriend material.
(Not wanting to release his family dynamic...I'll just give a slight insight) He does not have a male role model in his life and tells me whenever I make him upset that I'm lucky for having one.
Or say that I;m going to cut myself. I was scared to cut him off because I thought he would, in fact do it...
He told me that he loved me even though I said I'm waiting and even asked can't I just move in with the both of you!
I told him, firmly, "we can't be together. We can only be friends" He did the toxic cycle of "I'm going to cut myself" and "You're so lucky you have a dad" for awhile.
(There is another story about him in between these two events and belongs on AITA. Ask if you want that story)
But a few days later, he is in love with my best friend. I want to prevent her from being with him. AITA? Please tell me.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
HI6TLUfpumOe7qooRE5aEeq7rHJIDtGx
|
a8v7jz
|
{
"description": "not wanting my bf to drink",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting my bf to drink?
|
Seriously, I need to know. Part of me feels like I'm being unreasonable, but the other part feels I'm completely justified.
My bf likes to drink. When he does drink, he does it to get drunk. He's not the "drink a couple beers or glass of wine" type of guy, but a "drink a whole six-pack or twelve pack and want more" type. He doesn't drink often, once a week, sometimes twice, but I don't like it, moreso since our baby was born in August. When he drinks, he becomes unpredictable, and I never know whether I'm gonna get the nice guy, or the irrational, aggressive guy. He isn't physically abusive, just overthinks shit, becomes nitpicky, paranoid, says weird or mean things.. I become riddled with anxiety whenever he gets booze, to the point where now I just avoid him completely when he drinks. I'll take the baby and sleep in another room so I don't have to worry. He will stay up all night, then sleep all day the next.
What bothers me most is how, when he wants to drink, he seems to "need" it. He always asks my permission to drink, but even if I tell him "no, don't drink", he just gives me the cold shoulder til I say "fine, okay". Now I just tell him he can do whatever he wants, he's an adult, but I'm not gonna pretend to be okay with it. I tell him how it makes me feel, but he will still go and get the booze. He seems to prioritize drinking over my feelings. I don't even know if I'm right to be feeling as shitty as I do when he drinks, I try to be okay with it, but I'm just not and can't fight the impending doom feeling that I get when he does it. He's even gone as far as to say I don't love him as much as I say I do if I'm not okay with him being a drinker. He's happy with me and my faults, so why can't I be happy with his?
I feel extra shitty because he says he wants to drink on Christmas Eve. It's our baby's first Christmas so I don't want to spend it being scared, upset, or sleeping in another room to avoid him. I want him to be sober, watch Christmas movies together, and not have him acting resentful towards me for not being "allowed" to drink when he wants. He feels I'm infringing on his right as an adult to do whatever he wants. I like drinking too sometimes, but I don't like getting drunk often and when I drink I just wanna have fun, joke around, laugh, but I feel like it's never like that with him.
Am I being an asshole? Because I feel like an asshole for not being okay with his drinking.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
95NEPmviyZekB5uLOp7oHCo5ohDNZabj
|
avn691
|
{
"description": "not wanting to renew the lease",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to renew the lease?
|
I live with a roommate who I was friends with before I moved in with them, which was the first problem-I know that you're not supposed to move in with your friends but I thought maybe this time it would be ok. The entire time that we've lived together they've had an issue with blowing up (throwing things, yelling, anger issues) that I didn't realize they had before. I have mental health issues but I'm going to therapy for them and trying to work through the trauma that caused them. They're on full time disability for unfortunate physical health situations. They don't make a lot of money, under 1k a year. I work 35-45 hour weeks, sometimes night shifts, and am trying to save up enough money to go back to school but my sanity level is getting pretty worn out because I feel like I'm constantly on edge waiting for my friend to have one of their blow ups. Even when there isn't a blow up they never have an actually *good* day, due to their health conditions they're very isolated and always in a negative mood.
After nine months of this I realized I wanted out and want to get my own place. It's bad for my mental health to live here. Now I don't make a lot but I think I can manage to find a place in the three months remaining on our lease. I brought it up to my friend and they had a blow up. A major one, I almost called the cops, had to leave the house because I didn't feel safe. After a couple days we talked rationally and they think that they will be homeless if I move out because they don't make much money and are scared to live with other people who don't know about their mental or physical conditions.
Am I the asshole for still wanting to move out? I'm exhausted and I feel like the boundaries we've started trying to put in place so we have space from each other are too little too late. I really don't want to end up making my roommate homeless and I'm feeling a lot of guilt right now.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
2s6HTLXM2zBC02Jtacykv68phiz8wDFn
|
b51xcf
|
{
"description": "wanting my so to take a shower after handling animals? I have terrible eczema",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting my SO to take a shower after handling animals? I have terrible eczema.
|
Let us start this post with a bit of context:
I have terrible eczema. Just terrible. On terrible days, my skin will crack to the point where I will bleed or see the exposed flesh **inside** my fingers.
As part of my diagnosis over the years, I've done allergy tests and have been told my various doctors to avoid pets and swimming pools. Officially according to the results, I'm not allergic to dogs, but I'm allergic to cats, dust, and various types of pollen.
Yesterday, we went to my best friends place and his SO has a dog so the dog was running around all over the place. Trying to be respectful, I maintained a good distance from the dog and avoided sitting on any cloth furniture. He has been my best friend for over half my life, so I made the concession to go to his place to have a nice social outing with a larger group of friends.
My SO was on the couch with a few other friends playing with the dog. My SO picks up the dog, pets it, lets it lie all over her body and lick her all over her hands and face.
When it's time to leave, I tell her we should swing by her place so she can take a shower because she has been frolicking with the dog. She looks at me offended like I told her she was obese to her within earshot of all her friends. She says no and that I'm overreacting.
Our friends, who are WebMD doctors say allergy tests are really bad and that I'm being an asshole and overreacting about the dog. I understand people love dogs, but these owners aren't exactly the cleanest people. The dog has a piss pad at the door. It obviously doesn't clean itself afterwards and then rubs itself all along the furniture and people. It sheds like no other dog I've seen. I don't think my friend has any "black" clothing left. Am I being too anal about this?
TLDR: I have terrible eczema and everyone + my SO thinks I'm the asshole when my SO frolicked with a hairy dog and I asked her to take a shower before going to my place.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
hnv2h7mLusyf1M0bcBYf58tZ54mrUAyS
|
b9zrif
|
{
"description": "wanting my best friend to talk to me before dating my ex",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for wanting my best friend to talk to me before dating my ex?
|
So I was dating this girl her name is Rachel. Dated her for about six months and everything was fantastic. But me being the polyamorous person I am I ended up ending things because she is monogamous. Well it’s now two months later and she’s thinking about dating this guy Mathew. Now I’ve known Mathew since before I knew Rachel. And Mathew has known for a while that Rachel is very special to me. And Rachel has talked to me about them wanting to see where they could go, but Mathew hasn’t. And I respect the shit out of Mathew, he’s a fantastic guy that always is thinking about others. He’s very generous and altruistic and I know he cares and respects me the same. But the fact that he hasn’t made an attempt to talk to me about wanting to date the girl that I care very much about is irking me beyond belief. I feel disrespected and ignored and like I don’t matter to Mathew at all. I am not very much upset or jealous at Rachel wanting to be with someone else, that’s understandable. But I would like to be in the loop. These are two people that I care about greatly and I think they care about me the same. I’m just here steaming and I don’t know what to do because if I talk to Mathew first it wouldnt be him genuinely talking to me about it before going for it. What irks me even more is that his ex, who he’s been apart from for a month, has been shooting me some signs and I’ve been ignoring them because of how much I respect Mathew. And here he is doing the opposite to me. So fun AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
AUTHOR
|
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|
WRONG
|
eYYdDmAhcKJqE0AHtYSVCoyZ98lFXSFB
|
b978cg
|
{
"description": "closing my brother's game",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for closing my brother’s game?
|
So my brother, 23M, and I, 20F, share an Xbox. It’s kinda annoying, since we don’t have designated play times, and it ends up someone plays for a week on end, or every other day.
Well, yesterday, he had left his game on for around three hours. Not playing it at all. I closed out of it after saving it at the place he was (game was Skyrim) and loaded up my game. He got mad, saying don’t touch his game. He wasn’t even playing!
So I guess I’m asking, AITA for closing out of his game and then starting up one of my own? Even though he wasn’t playing?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
1rYjL8kzelOAdT4WSlVV1XNeu8yuQrf9
|
apjl2p
|
{
"description": "being upset about my wife's job",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being upset about my wife's job?
|
My wife, "Viv", works two days a week in education. I work full time. I have flexible hours within certain limits. Two years ago when she was applying we discussed it and decided that we could make two days a week work for us. Since our kids aren't in school or daycare yet, I've been using my off day to care for them while she works, and her mom comes to care for them on the other day. So far so good.
Every month I have to change my work schedule to accommodate hers. Every month there's at least one meeting that's outside her regular hours which requires me to change my whole work schedule to provide care for our kids. I love my kids, and I don't mind caring for them — I'm their dad, after all, it's in the job description! — bit I hate having to move meetings and deadlines around. I feel like her boss is a shit communicator and shittier planner who cannot seem to schedule these "all hands on deck" meetings until the last minute. Then Viv comes home saying it was pointless and that an email would have done the job nicely.
But when I've discussed it with Viv I feel like an asshole. It has been over a year now; I know how disorganized her boss is and it doesn't usually affect me a whole lot. And I want Viv to work if she wants to. Of all the jobs she's had while we have been together this one seems to be the best one for her in terms of work stress and ability to do what she wants in her time off. So I feel bad that I haven't adjusted.
Am I the asshole? And if so, how can I adjust my attitude?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
NOBODY
|
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|
RIGHT
|
wqxlEFAR2dJIrdDy7wLhL529PuNwvj2D
|
a0xn3u
|
{
"description": "refusing to meet up with my ex boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA if I refuse to meet up with my ex boyfriend?
|
My ex \[21M\] and I \[19F\] dated several years ago. Our breakup was a mutual decision. Years later, he moved abroad for college. Last year, he messaged me asking to meet up. We messaged back and forth for a while, he said he compares everyone to me, that I was his best, etc.
While we were together, I was the star student at school - popular, smart, all that jazz. Past 2/3 years life took a toll on me. Right now, I'm at the worst point of my life and flunked a year out of college. Meanwhile, since he's gone to college abroad he isn't aware of my breakdown lol.
I really don't want to meet him in this state or at least until I get a grasp of my life. I'm embarrassed and don't want him to think, "good riddance!" (He's a pretty great guy with a great heart but still) I've been ignoring his messages on social media. I know what I'm doing is wrong and I feel guilty. I just don't know what to do atm when everything's going south.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
oWRCAZUz9ruMLghfPoziFJYNBXqDQUpi
|
a0er4e
|
{
"description": "wanting my brother to grow up",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For wanting my brother to grow up?
|
So my god damn brother is always in some shit and my Grandmother and I always have to come save him.
My feelings have been building up for a long fucking time because it’s always expensive. But this is the most recent.
So this motherfucker got a $1100 Ticket for driving on a Suspended plate and no registration. I found out because we haven’t heard from him and he wasn’t answering his phone so I googled his ass and his name came up on the County court website. I managed to get ahold of him and he assured me that he would show up.
A month later my grandmother gets a letter stating that because he missed his court date his license was suspended and was given until the end of the month to pay or a bench warrant would be issued.
I wanted his ass to go to jail. But my grandma wants to pay the ticket. And she needs help. My help. I’m sick and fucking tired of playing little big brother and spending my god damned money on him. I’ve been working 2-3 16 hour days for over time to try and build up my emergency fund FOR ME and now I got to use some of my pay to help this son of a bitch.
I don’t know if he would actually go to jail or community service but I think it would be best for him to be an adult and take responsibility. He was unemployed for over a year because he’s fucking lazy and smokes too much weed, and has no idea about how to be an adult. Instead of going to the fucking court he decided to get high and sleep all day.
And just let the fucking thing be.
So now I got to drive my ass to my grandmothers pick his ass up and go to the fucking court. I am fucking livid.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
zUiUYbFT37ZQKOTODDhjiNk7tH8nderq
|
atsebv
|
{
"description": "being mad that karaoke turned into a dance party",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being mad that karaoke turned into a dance party?
|
So to preface, I run karaoke every Saturday night at my friend's wine shop. So sometimes it's nice to go out and have a drink and sing where I don't have to worry about being the one running the show. I don't get to go out very often unfortunately, so when I do, I want to sing and just have a good night.
I went out to karaoke that I wasn't running for the first time in weeks and the person running it let about two people sing, then started playing music and letting people come up and dance. I'm sitting here right now in the middle of dance song number 5.
AITA for wanting a bar that advertises karaoke to ACTUALLY run karaoke? I understand a song or two between singers if there's only a few, but there seems to be several in here tonight.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
NOBODY
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
tbXcVJDgOfbzcytScLRILRzdOjnKrMgt
|
a03ubr
|
{
"description": "telling my friend to stop coming to me for help",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for telling my friend to stop coming to me for help
|
So basically my friend has been seeing this boy for about six months. They've had issues from the very beginning of the relationship but lately it's seems like it's getting worse. She constantly comes to me and our other friends crying about things this boy said to her/did to her/ the way he treats her. Some of these things I would describe as borderline emotional abusive.
I tried being very supportive at first but at this point it's been so long the only advice I can really give her is to walk away from the relationship, and we've offered to help her with that/help her get help. She basically flat out states she isn't willing to do this or even willing to see this boy less. In addition, 90% of the time after we're done listening to her and trying to provide support, she goes straight to this boys house.
I basically told my friend that until she's willing to do something about it, I can't hear about it anymore. It's emotionally tolling on me to see my friend in pain and not be able to do anything about it. However, she has basically told my other friends that I'm isolating her and making the situation worse.
AITA for telling her not to come to me until she's willing to change? Should I just suck it up and listen?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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|
ann1cx
|
{
"description": "not wanting my dad to help we with my coffee cup",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting my dad to help we with my coffee cup
|
My dad drives me to hs every day (which is verry kind and I try my best to be verdy appreciative and polite about.) because I couldn't get my licence before my permit expired because of chronic pain issues and he has to take me to renue it so I can take my driving test. When I'm getting out of the car I always say thank you and then start grabbing my stuff. As I'm trying to get everything he always either twists or tries to hand me my coffee thermos as he has for three years. About every three weeks for the past three years I have asked (politely) to not do that because for some reason I don't know it stresses me out. Which I understand is dumb but I get all anxious and I feel like he's not going to let me take it into school. I always say please and try to use a nice tone and not snap and every single time he yells at me when we get home that I need to be nicer and more polite. I realize that getting so bothered by something so small is dumb but I do and I don't know how to fix it and he doesn't help and I would just really like him to stop. And now I just feel like a horrid child.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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a4oqbg
|
{
"description": "not wanting to hang out with a guy I met in the first week of college",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to hang out with a guy I met in the first week of college?
|
For context: I graduated high school last year and am currently in the process of finishing up my first semester of college at a small liberal-arts type school (just in case that matters).
I’ve written everything as objectively as I can here.
When I arrived at college, one of the first people I met was a guy (let’s call him K) who lived in the room next to me (our rooms are separated by a bathroom). We hit it off pretty well, as we had similar interests and he seemed to be a super nice guy. We hung out almost every day for the first month to month and a half of school. However, as I got to know K, I started to like him less and less. There were red flags here and there that sort of threw me off— being weirdly rude to people for seemingly no reason, being very imposing and controlling in the way he talks and portrays himself, stuff like that. I didn’t think of it much at the time, I just sort of assumed it was his was of adjusting to college life.
Then some bigger incidents took place. There are a few of these that I would rather not go into publicly because they’re pretty questionable and I want to protect his privacy, but if you need to, PM me and I’ll explain them. Still, I didn’t pay them a whole lot of attention, because most people make mistakes when they first move to college.
One incident sort of made me realize that it wasn’t just adjusting to college. One night (while he was a little drunk) a girl we were hanging out with told him that there was a guy living downstairs (who he hadn’t met) who didn’t like him. While this really shouldn’t have been brought up in the first place, it was and K went low-key apeshit. He started yelling about how it's not fair to judge someone you don’t know and how you can’t form opinions on people if you’ve never met them. He then proceeded to call this guy a fucktard.
At this point I was starting to realize that maybe I didn’t want to be spending as much time as I had been with this guy. Not wanting to make a big deal about it, I was just planning on not hanging out with him as much, until we either ended up not really talking anymore, or he settled in. While I don’t think this would’ve been an issue, I then found out that he had labeled me as his “best friend.” While he had made a couple comments about this before, I always thought he was joking, because I had literally met him less then a month before, which, in my mind, is not even close to knowing someone long enough to call them your “best friend.” I wasn’t entirely sure what to do, so I vaguely continued on with my plan of not hanging out with him as much.
That Friday night I was in another friend's room with some people from our hall, having not invited K as we were all a little fed up and wanted a break. Allegedly, he walked past this room, heard us in there and sort of lost it. He texted me and asked if I thought he was annoying. When I responded, I essentially responded with the blunt truth; I didn’t think he was annoying, but he was being extremely childish, immature, and frankly unpleasant, and I didn’t want to continue hanging out if he was going to continue with this behavior. This caused some drama, including K cutting off a lot of the friends he had made in college (and even one he knew from back home) purely because they were either “involved in the Xrazil situation” or continued to talk to me. After this blew over, I thought the whole situation would also just blow over, but boy was I wrong.
Over thanksgiving break I happened to be in the same area as K’s friend from back home that he had cut off, and she invited me over to her house to hang after thanksgiving dinner. I think it’s important to note that K’s friend and I are purely friends, I have no interest of pursuing anything sexual or romantic with her. Nevertheless, K found out that I was at her house on thanksgiving and sent her an extremely rude and provocative message. While again, I won’t explicitly repeat it as I want to protect his privacy, it was implying that K’s friend and I were hooking up, which is not true at all. I offered to explain to K that we’re not involved, but K’s friend said to just leave it be, so I did.
YET AGAIN, I wrongly assumed this would be the end of it. Our school hosted a dance-like event last weekend and K happened to show up about half an hour after I did. While on his way to say hi to someone next to me, he gave me what I can only describe as a “friendly bro greeting,” where he essentially just punched me in the chest. In fact, at first I thought he legitimately just punched me and continued on his way, because there was some force behind it, but the more I think about it the more I think he was just trying to say hi. Either way it made me pretty uncomfortable, so I ended up leaving pretty early.
Yesterday I heard from a friend who’s on a sports team with K that he was telling some teammates about a kid on his floor who “screwed him over,” clearly referencing me. I then heard from this same friend that K wanted me to know I “drove a splinter through his heart that he could never fix” and that he’s “happy to rekindle the friendship as soon as I apologize for what I did to him.” While I’ll be the first person to tell you that I didn’t handle the situation as well as I could have, this whole notion that I “screwed him over” makes no sense to me. I never told anyone to stop hanging out with him, and I would never do that. I’m a firm believer in being friends with whoever you want to be friends with, whether other people like them or not. Additionally, the idea of apologizing to him for not wanting to hang out also confuses me, because I still don’t want to hang out with him.
Am I in the wrong here? Or did I just handle a situation poorly?
And yes, I do understand that this ALL sounds very childish in terms of drama, but nevertheless I've found myself involved in it so would like some objective input from reddit.
TLDR: Met a guy at the start of my freshman year of college and hung out with him until he started rubbing me the wrong way. Now he’s telling people that I “screwed him over” and that I should apologize to him.
​
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
|
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aba1cc
|
{
"description": "being mad at my mom",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being mad at my mom?
|
I'm in my hometown for the holidays. On Sundays I usually go to church in the morning with my in-laws. My mom asked me if I can come home earlier, so I did--two hours earlier than I usually come home, for her. When I got home, she wasn't there. She didn't arrive for another 4-5 hours. All this time, I could've been with my husband. AITA for being mad about that? I didn't act on it; I didn't even mention it to anyone except for my husband; AITA for feeling the way I do, though?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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|
b044ke
|
{
"description": "calling my Dad at 12am to settle a dispute with my stepdad",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for calling my Dad at 12AM to settle a dispute with my stepdad?
|
Background Info: I am 16 years old and I mostly live with my Mom and my Stepdad and every now and then go to my Dad's house. For the most part, I always tend to get into arguments with my stepdad at least once a month over something dumb. I never really liked him all too much as he always finds a way to ruin something good
Well today's argument was over the matters of my wisdom teeth removal. The argument was over the fact that I should go to sleep in five minutes ( The time was 12AM during Spring Break) to be well-rested for the removal of my wisdom teeth. I was playing video games with my friends on PS4 so you could imagine I got very defensive leading to me threatening to call my Dad.
Flashback to earlier today and I was eating my last crunchy meal with my Dad before I get my wisdom teeth removed. He said along the lines of that I should play video games and stay up so I would sleep off the pain from the wisdom teeth removal.
I called my Dad on my phone to settle the dispute and I realized the time was 12 AM and I suddenly felt very guilty for waking up my Dad to settle such a stupid dispute with my Stepdad.
I got what I wanted in the end( stay up granted that I get 8 hours of sleep as the surgery is not till 1PM ) but at the expense of my Father's sleep and bitterness with my Stepdad
AITA for waking up my Dad?
P.S. Sorry for any grammar mistakes this was really rushed as this dispute with my Stepdad just happened and I wanted to type this out as fast as possible to get input and advice.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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{
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|
WRONG
|
zS1aKkizzMp8bZWQQpjSflOZFYj2O8rO
|
aof9gu
|
{
"description": "expecting my husband to have the house cleaned while he is at home and I am at work",
"pronormative_score": 503,
"contranormative_score": 99
}
|
AITA for expecting my husband to have the house cleaned while he is at home and I am at work?
|
I don’t expect much and leave a simple list; have the floors swept, dishes done, the bed made, dirty clothes picked up, and living room tidy. I don’t ask him to do anything particularly gross or meticulous and even set up his coffee pot for when he wakes up.
It’s not a lot and should take less than an hour to accomplish.
He can’t/won’t do it and gets snippy when I don’t hit my knees to praise him for only doing 3/4s.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
zOHaikG3on3jajSoS8QVr8V4i3Hb6pDl
|
ar77ry
|
{
"description": "not wanting certain people to hold my two month old daughter",
"pronormative_score": 96,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for not wanting certain people to hold my two month old daughter?
|
I recently had a baby (about two months ago for context) she has received her first round of vaccines two weeks ago (not relevant but just a disclaimer)
I explained to everyone I don’t want smokers to hold my child in anyway even if they have washed their hands (because they smoke about a pack a day) the reason is I don’t want my child to smell that nor do I want the smell to transfer to my daughters clothing or I don’t want her to smell second hand smoke, since they smoke near my front door which is near her bouncer, but everyone keeps telling me that I am a bitch because they have washed their hands and they also have a shower every single day (you wouldn’t know unless they have told you, they lack hygiene). So I actively go out of my way not to have them in my house or go to theirs.
I also don’t allow anyone who hasn’t had the updated Whooping Cough vaccine to be near her either (everyone I know has all the others but there is a few that don’t have the Whooping Cough vaccine) but according to them it doesn’t need to be updated so they don’t go and get it.
What do you think?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
1CJNhFRdAdZqRR4OBVa0uf8CEj6h9O6B
|
am7gfi
|
{
"description": "sharing advice with my cubicle neighbor regarding a sensitive problem I overheard",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for sharing advice with my cubicle neighbor regarding a sensitive problem I overheard?
|
My office is a cubicle farm, and my cubicle is on the edge of my work group's zone. My neighbor who is not my coworker is "Joanne", and she's a very nice woman as far as I can tell.
Like many cubicle farms, the unspoken rule seems to be that you ignore anything you hear that isn't directed at you. However, you still can hear...and I've heard Joanne talking to people on the phone (presumably family members, based on context) about a problem her college-aged son is going through. Very specifically, he has tried to drop a semester for medical reasons, was denied, appealed, and then was denied again. The medical drop is under particular circumstances which aren't important to the question.
Now, four years ago I got a retroactive medical drop from the same university in the same circumstances, and based on the details of what I can overhear, this person is going about the documentation and appeal process *all wrong*, and based on my experience I can give some advice on how to restructure it and some additional types of documentation to pursue that would drastically improve the chances of a future appeal being accepted. This coworker seems nice, and I hate to have someone with a failed semester on their record just because they don't know how to document. On the other hand, the circumstances are potentially very embarrassing to my coworker, and I don't want to make her uncomfortable or upset.
WIBTA for trying to pass her advice? Is there a way I can pass her advice that would minimize the level of assholery?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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NOBODY
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RIGHT
|
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|
b4hca1
|
{
"description": "telling my mother and sister I'm pregnant before my boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 39,
"contranormative_score": 70
}
|
AITA for telling my mother and sister I’m pregnant before my boyfriend?
|
Earlier this week I found out I am pregnant. After the second test showed positive I called my mom and told her. After that I called my sister and told her as well. I wasn’t at first what I was going to do or how my boyfriend would take it so I took a few days to think things over and keep discussing it with my family.
I’ve decided to keep it. I told my boyfriend and he was actually pretty great about it. He asked when should we tell our families about it and I told him that I already told mine. He was annoyed that I went to them first and waited a few days to decide without him and only tell him after the fact. He said that we should have decided together as this is will be our child and not mine alone. I can see his point, but ultimately it’s my choice and I don’t feel in the wrong about talking to my family about it. Especially considering they are both mothers themselves.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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"WRONG": 70
}
|
WRONG
|
u3lz9gOdvu9yQh95jcL3F55iDwAZrUKw
|
an9eu1
|
{
"description": "wanting to leave my bio dad and step mom",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to leave my bio dad and step mom?
|
Background: My parents are divorced and have been for many years. I’m a Freshman in high school and I live with my Mom, Step Dad, my brother, and my sister. I am the oldest sibling. The three of us go to the Other House during the weekends. At the Other House there are my two step brothers, though they may or may not be there depending on the day.
I hate it at the Other House. The parents argue every other week (It used to be every week). If any of the children are being chewed out anything we say is wrong or is arsenal for them to use.
For example: My bio dad would demand to know why the kitchen wasn’t mopped when they left us home. One of my step brothers said that we had moved the carpet back to where it belonged before we went downstairs. Bio dad sternly said “We? We who? Be specific!” Then my step brother said that it was him, my brother, and me. Then, later on in the “conversation” step bro says that we were all on a game downstairs. That’s when bio dad asked “Why did you say ‘we’ are you trying to get everyone else in trouble too?” I said quickly, “You told him to be specific, sir.” I was terrified to say the least. He said, “I wasn’t talking to you!”
There have been multiple times where I have almost cried because of these “conversations” and if any of us were to cry in front of the parents we would get yelled at more. Thus causing whoever cried to be more frightened and it becomes a cycle.
Months later I gave bio dad a phone he had given me because of all of the restrictions they had recently put on it for “my safety.” Mom offered to get me a phone and I accepted because I knew she wouldn’t look through it whenever she wanted and would stop me from getting sites like Reddit. The Other House wouldn’t allow me these sites because I could message other people. The next weekend I went over there they (bio dad and step mom) kept forcing me to tell them why I would do that to them and “Why didn’t you ask us to lessen the restrictions.” Yes, I did try but the response was always something like “You aren’t on your phone much, so it shouldn’t effect you.”
So am I the asshole for wanted to never see them again when I get out of high school?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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RIGHT
|
ZPjmFURwhIybTDaXgFvQvEyq7rzHdeSD
|
aogb2g
|
{
"description": "exposing a (former) friend's for sexually harassing me",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for exposing a (former) friend's for sexually harassing me?
|
Here's the deal:
I have been friends with this one girl since 8th or 9th grade and now we are both seniors - this is mostly thanks to me, because for the past three years I have helped her study for her finals so she could pass since she is literally one of the worst students ever (not for lack of intelligence, just for lack of will). I helped her even with subjects I did not have or knew myself, so that means I studied before I studied with her.
In January, during our school break, I had been planning a backpacking trip across my family's state. I had invited her earlier, believing her mother would never allow her to come. I was partially right, but then literally midnight before we got on a bus, she told me she was going. My fwb was not so excited because he felt excluded whenever us three got together, but he couldn't do anything about it. So alright, then. Let's go.
Our first day was incredibly nice. At night, when we went back to our hostel, we decided to all lie down on the double bed to talk and then maybe sleep. Earlier we had decided that me and her would share the double, and my fwb would take the single, mostly due to the hostess at the hostel that just suggested it. I rolled with it, even when my friend asked me if I wouldn't rather share the bed with my fwb. I told her it was all fine. I didn't mind it either way.
Around 1am, we had all fallen asleep, but my fwb woke up and felt the need to go to his single bed since it was less crowded. I did not notice this, since I am generally a heavy sleeper, but I know that when I woke up around 2am, I was no longer hugging him. Instead, I was facing the ceiling, and my friend's hand was underneath my shirt as she was tracing my nipple with her fingers and playing with it. I was immediately shocked and I did not know how to react, but when she suddenly reached for my other boob, I turned my back to her, thinking she would get the message.
She did not.
She came closer to hug me from behind and put her hand underneath my shirt again, and I had to physically push her away. I could barely sleep for the rest of the night but did not make a move because I did not want her to notice I was awake.
The next day, I talked to my fwb about it and texted a couple friends about the incident. One of them answered me promptly and called it "sexual assault". That term scared the living shit out of me. No way, she's my friend, right? It was just... stupid. Right??
I finally had the guts to bring it up when we reached the next town on our trip, later that same day. And I did not want to make it overly serious, so I just told her it was not cool. She didn't look me in the eye, and uttered "sorry" twice.
Fast-forward a week or so, and I am still friends with her, trying to put this past us. I am going to start volunteer teaching and it is my first time with a class of 20+ students. I was super anxious and told her I needed someone with me that day. She told me she would come, she just had to talk to her mother. Except she doesn't talk to her mother. Instead, she goes out drinking and smoking weed with my fwb and when I call her at 6.30am the next day, she doesn't respond. I call my fwb and he picks up, and I tell him I feel extremely sorry for asking him so out of the blue, but can he please show up for my class? He did so, and then told me where he had been, adding he was sick from the weed the previous night and had been puking his guts out and that he did not think my friend had gotten that drunk or high.
Okay. It sounds like my friend really does not give a shit about me.
I confronted her about it a few days later. She told me I blew it all out of proportion. She told me I did not want to accept her apologies (is it an apology if you just say "sorry" without even looking the person in the eye?). She told me I pushed people away for no reason all the time because that's me. I let her speak. I didn't care about her words. However, that did piss me off. So a couple days later I decided I wanted her to truly think about her past actions, especially regarding that night she decided to touch me while I was asleep.
I created a WhatsApp group with me, her and other random 13 people (my fwb and 2 other close friends of mine were there, though they already knew) and sent a text message detailing what happened that night. I left the group and let it be. She tried calling me and I did not pick up. She called my fwb and cried her guts out and said she was done in. She felt like she could kill herself right there and then, but she had no proper means to because her balcony was not high up enough (she has attempted to commit suicide before).
How did that impact her life?, you may ask. Or, what did the people in that group think? Well, most people in that group were from our school, and now all seniors and half of juniors know about it. And nearly all have sided with her, because I have a bad reputation among my classmates. They all believe I blew it out of proportion and that I am the monster for speaking up about something that happened. They have all voiced their support for her though made sure to do so when I wasn't in the room (my fwb told me about it).
TL;DR: My friend was playing with my boobs while I was asleep and never properly apologised for it. When I realised she really did not care about being a good friend to me, I decided to expose her in a WhatsApp group with 10 people from our school who consequently told others from our class. Most of them have "taken her side".
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
qqcJTaDo1Oy1OhDM9oG00LaazRpxZdy2
|
a2hpvm
|
{
"description": "being not sure I want to spend time with an old friend any more",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA I'm not sure I want to spend time with an old friend any more
|
I've known the friend for 21 years. After university I worked, got some more qualifications and saved up and got my first place. She's travelled the world coming back periodically.
Over the last 10 years she's become increasingly negative about me, saying I'm boring, flat is not very nice etc and about other people around her. This weekend I'd arranged for us to go out because she'd gotten upset about not being thin at the gym. On the way out I asked her if she would mind if I dropped her off at the train station because I had to pop and see another friend. I'd pay for the train ticket etc. She then refused to to talk to me for the rest of the journey. When we arrived she told me that I was selfish and make every about me and she's always the one that makes effort in the friendship.
I'm really hurt by this and feel it's really unfair. I've spent the last few years fielding her calls etc when she's down, organising days out and I've joined the gym with her so she didn't. In the last year she's rarely been free at the weekend, she's busy with work friends etc. So I've started to go out more with other friends and picked up a few hobbies. I've had to rearrange some stuff recently with her due to illness and work stress but thought she understood why. She also didn't come to birthday (at weekend) because while she read the text I sent she didn't reply for a day and a half and I needed to book ASAP. I didn't think it would be a big ask for her to get the train as she'd previously said that's how she was going to travel that day. I feel the outburst is just the latest in a long line of emotionally draining interactions. I don't want to throw the friendship away but equally I've spent the rest of the weekend feeling so down and this isn't the first time. If I called time, am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
TScBGk0mOd0ryH5mhocnQfLiDUdYNBPY
|
b4az3z
|
{
"description": "convincing my coworker to sign up for a pyramid scheme",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 11
}
|
AITA For convincing my coworker to sign up for a pyramid scheme?
|
Ok so before I begin, I should probably explain my issues with my coworker. She is almost always 15-20 minutes late to work, forcing one of our other people to stay longer. She is dissrespectfull to everyone, including other coworkers managers, and even customers. I have seen her throw a knife because she was not allowed to take a break in the middle of a rush, I have seen her yell at a child for dropping his meal on the floor, one time she even walked out during a rush leaving us with no cashier and forcing people to stay late so the morning shift would not be behind on prep. Also before anyone comments it, several managers and nearly all our employees have complained to the owner about her, but she refuses to do anything about the sittuation. Now for the actual good stuff.
Today she came in 25 minutes after her shift started, and everyone was already pretty mad as it had been a long day already. Before she had even clocked in she was telling us about this new brilliant buisness she has been selected for. Im not sure which MLM it is but basically she would be selling hair extensions on instagram after paying for a startup fee. She seemed on the fence about the idea still, and she was worried about the 500 dollar start up fee. This is where I began to try and influence her descision. I made up storys about how my aunt used to do stuff like that and now shes rich, I said a bunch of stuff about investments to make it sound like a good idea, basically I did the MLM recruiters job for them. What it all boiled down to was her getting overly mad about the other cashier, she said a bunch of stufd about how "she doesnt need this money anymore" and "how much better she is since she has been selected", and she sent them the money on her break.
Yeah thats really all I got, sorry for formatting im on mobile, let me know what you guys think.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 11
}
|
WRONG
|
14etISMdRu15h4Ptis2utQ3Slilt1kCP
|
at0tn5
|
{
"description": "telling my MIL no to my baby shower",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA for telling my MIL no to my baby shower?
|
WIBTA for treating her as her behaviour dictates?
I don't think I'd be the asshole here, but I'm being treated like I am. Wall of text on mobile, please forgive me for any errors.
Note: I say MIL but my partner and I aren't married. Been together just over 4 years and thinking about it, but her behaviour makes me want nothing to do with her, only her son and our family.
So our eldest child's birthday was in November at a local park, had his mum (partner's ex who I get along with well, no issues there with them and kids) there as well as friends, good day had by all. Until we get home and realize that my partner (henceforth called E)'s mother put up a rant on FB saying how she was so hurt that we purposefully left her out of her grandsons birthday, didn't even ask if she wanted to attend, etc. E commented, basically telling her it was just up the road from her house (less than 100 meters), she didn't bother to contact us asking what was planned, communication goes both ways, and we're sorry that we'd thought she'd been invited by the host and didn't contact her because she's usually at work.
MIL then decides to out my pregnancy to everyone on her FB while calling us immature, all of this in the same status as before. I hadn't announced to anyone by that point except her and a few close friends, because I was at moderate risk of losing it (23 weeks on Saturday so going well!) That went over like you can imagine it would, and it hurt me a lot that she took that from me.
Basically get the cold shoulder until earlier this month, when we have the Sex Reveal. She turns up and makes a comment about how she's surprised she even got an invite considering the birthday, which I ignore because eff it, this is our day.
She behaves somewhat (apart from some very nasty comments about the gender (male) and that E doesn't have a daughter because ex couldn't keep it - traumatic miscarriage), but when the kid's mum is packing up to leave she did the whole "see you when I see you" which is normal, right? Well MIL jumped on that and decided to say that she'd probably not see us at the next kids birthday (this weekend) as we'd probably "forget" to invite her again!
I've since told them what MIL said as she said it while they were out of the room (everyone else heard it though!), and we decided to invite her this weekend to prevent another bitchfest. But she's basically invited herself to my baby shower, and I no longer want her there because of all of this that she's dobe, and have stated to the others that if she can't behave this weekend she's uninvited. She got wind of it and drama has been unfolding since.
WIBTA? I don't think so but she's spreading this to other people in the family and twisting it so I am.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
20pb5ZLhyVng2DS3a7l3NGY5DFEWTwuT
|
b6aapq
|
{
"description": "being upset at being someone's \"personal therapist\"",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being upset at being someone's "personal therapist".
|
Am on Mobile.
I have few redeeming qualities, one of those being that I give some good advice. I enjoy doing it as I feel I can help someone out, I get a dose of dopamine, and they get a new perspective or, hopefully, a solution.
However, there are these two girls, that I would consider friends (one of which more than the other but thats another story). I've had periods of time where I would consistently snap, or chat one of these girls at the beginning of our friendship, before everything eventually mellowed out. But there was a turning point.
Girl 1, or M from now on, is someone who... hurt me, (not purposefully... Hopefully) but I still made the effort to remain her friend and I'd like to think I did a good job. Every once in awhile we'd chat about something, and before long I noticed a pattern. Every conversation would im some way wrap around to a problem of hers, be it about boys or friends, I mean I aided her rapidly decaying relationship with her mom. Its been awhile since she's even talked to me and frankly I'm bitter, she doesn't owe me a conversation or friendship but goddamn, I feel used.
Girl 2 is to a much lesser extent, but the two girls are friends and I've had to help them stay that way before. She snaps me everyday several times a day, and even askef me how her prom dress looked last night. So I feel much better about our friendship.
Reddit AITA for being upset and a little bitter, at this situation, enough that I want to cut contact with M?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 2,
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
fPM17eZSn8YC1UIzmfDjUbvzSD47mNJE
|
aapzix
|
{
"description": "not wanting my friend to go to this New Years party",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not wanting my friend to go to this New Years party?
|
This might get complicated so bear with me. Also on mobile so sorry for any formatting errors.
I (22F) have a friend, we’ll call her Emily (26F) that has an annual New Year’s Eve Party. We are somewhat new friends, and last year was the first year I was invited to/aware of this party. I have been dating my boyfriend, Adam (24M) for almost 5 years, so I asked if he could come with me as I had shared every New Years kiss for 4 years with him. Now, Adam is an ex-addict and is completely sober, and doesn’t participate in large social events a lot. Emily vaguely referenced this in her response to me, and essentially said that “she wouldn’t want him to feel uncomfortable” and “she wouldn’t want him to just be sitting there” and “she wouldn’t want him to have no one to talk to”. Despite my assurance that I would obviously be interacting with him, these were her responses to my requests that he come. I took this as her telling me she didn’t really want him to come without REALLY saying it, so I decided I would not be attending her party (and subsequently did nothing for New Years that year, as it was cutting it close to the holiday). After the fact, Emily made a comment to me about how she “wasn’t sure if I would act different around Adam”.
Fast forward to this year, she’s having her party again and invited me. I did not respond to the Facebook event, and made other plans for New Years that are actually gonna be at my house with my roommates, as I had felt like my boyfriend was made to feel unwelcome last year and where he is not welcome, I am not welcome. I recently introduced my best friend for over 10 years, Amy (22F), to Emily. Emily invited Amy to her New Years party, too. Amy has known about the situation with me, Emily, and my boyfriend, and said she would be attending my party at my house instead of Emily’s, but responded to Emily’s Facebook event saying she would be attending.
Now, a few days before New Years, Emily reached out and asked me why I wasn’t coming to her party, and I explained what had happened last year, which resulted in a discussion where she denied ever have saying any of the things that I clearly remember her saying, and apologizing “if whatever she said made it seem like that”. Ok fine, agree to disagree.
But now Amy has informed me that she will probably end up going to Emily’s party, as she’s going to another party beforehand that will be closer to Emily’s party than it is to mine. Now, I understand if she will be far away from my party, she absolutely does not have to go. I don’t have a problem with that at all. However, I find it kind of hurtful that she would still go to Emily’s party after knowing I was hurt and specifically choosing not to attend. I don’t really understand why she couldn’t just stay at her initial party, or go out to the bars or something instead? I also looked up the drive between the initial party and Emily’s, and it’s about 36 minutes. Not that close. Idk. I sent her a short text encouraging her to enjoy her New Years and explaining that I am not expecting her to come to my party, but my feelings were a little hurt.
Typing all of that out it just seems super juvenile. Whatever, it’s her New Years to celebrate, so maybe I am the asshole tbh
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
{
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|
WRONG
|
aa1m4SC8Svlar0SC1mv5Lnum7lMkOKYe
|
b7qib1
|
{
"description": "accidentally trespassing",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for accidentally trespassing?
|
Hi, I would like to share my story with you all.
Two summers ago, I had been riding bikes with my friends. For privacy reasons I'll call them F1 and F2. We'll call the scary mom SM.
Our town was large, but our usual biking area was small. We were riding when F1 and F2 went down a grassy hill. It lead to another hill. These hills were very steep and I couldn't see the house of SM's because of trees. I was newer to the area than them, so I followed behind. F1 and F2 were standing there, beside the house which was on another hill. Again, this hill was steep, so I pushed my bike up the hill after them. By this time, they were waiting on the street and had left my veiw.
This is where the poop gets squished.
When I get to the top of the hill, I am met with SM.
She was screaming about calling the cops and me, F1, and F2 about killing her kids. I tried to apologize, using polite pronouns. (Ma'am)
She yelled saying "don't ma'am me! You could have killed my kids!" It's not like I was riding a motorbike. And, her kids weren't even out in the back. They were peeking out of the door, wondering who their mom was yelling at. However, I still trespassed, and being a softy, I cried, fearing that she'd actually have the cops on our tails. She even had the phone in her hand. She then let me go along. It turns out, F1 and F2 were just talked to. Not even once did she raise her voice. I guess I was the last straw. I didn't even know her house was there.
Am I the asshole for accidentally trespassing?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
Itt3qBBGQc1T7WIoMGblBd48zPNtY5D1
|
b1fxgf
|
{
"description": "cancelling a date because they're starting to seem like a pushover",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I cancelled a date because they're starting to seem like a pushover?
|
He seemed really cool when we first started talking.
But he's been texting me like three times a day which is weird, and he's been super nice and hasn't said a single negative thing. I know that sounds weird, it's just... I dunno haha. Just feel like I'm being put on a pedestal here. We haven't even met yet!
I also at one point suspected that he might not have much experience with girls under his belt, and that to me is a huge turn-off.
I'm generally sexually open-minded, so I tried having a conversation about sexual likes and dislikes, and he seemed to have little to no idea what he was talking about.
He also apologizes constantly for trivial things. It's nice, but seriously dude, own yourself, give less of a fuck.
WIBTA?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
Rn5KmG3FpdfCcwmiGWjbwooYCEyt44HR
|
9upuqp
|
{
"description": "cutting Mother-in-law out of my life or at least have nothing to do with her",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for cutting Mother-in-Law out of my life or at least have nothing to do with her?
|
I am pretty reasonable guy and family is extremely important to me. So for me to even consider cutting Mother-in-law out of my life is a pretty big deal.
TLDR; Mother-in-law is unreasonable, self-centered, manipulative, toxic and more… Whenever she opens her mouth, only negative things come out of it. Verbally and mentally abusive to my wife and I am tired of her crap and have cut her out of my life. Currently, wife and baby are still interact with MIL.
A lot more information about Mother-in-law (MIL): she likes to complain about everything, selective hearing, dismissive, extremely defensive when one opinion differs from hers, every thing should be done her way or it’s the wrong way, constant need for attention, demands appreciation for anything she considers helping, will call my wife to complain for hours about irrelevant things.
Story time:
After a year of marriage, the wife and I decide to try for our first baby.
MIL decides to move to Florida to be closer to us so she can help out with the baby. After a few months, she turns around tells us that she is not happy here, feels abandoned by us and upset that we made her move out here…
(We never asked her to move out here, wife talks to her everyday for hours and spends a few hours with her on the weekend – unsure where she has been abandoned or forced to move here)
MIL gets a puppy to fill the void of being abandoned by us. Good puppy, poorly trained – poops and pees in the house, jumps on people, etc…
Eventually, we get pregnant and MIL seems to be trying to help in her way, which is the only right way to do thing. At about 6 or 7 months, MIL has an emergency and needs to speak to wife. She drives out to my wife’s work with her dog (private gated property – no pet policy) and wants to go on a walk to talk. As usual, the emergency is to complain about someone or something and during the walk, the dog gets excited, and tries to jump on a random worker walking past them. Person is clearly not comfortable with a dog trying to jump on them and wife says something along the lines of: ‘probably should not have the dog out here due to work policy and I need to get back to work it’s been over an hour’. MIL gets extremely upset by this and makes the following comments:
1. Again accuses my wife of abandoning her and only the dog is supportive of her (makes no sense, because wife is clearly taking time out of her work day to make sure she is okay after stating it was an emergency and after finding out it is not an emergency still spent time with her).
2. Then tells my wife that she is a horrible daughter and will be a horrible mother…
(This is the point where I decided that I am done with her until she gives an apology – who says that to their pregnant daughter? Seriously)
Wife decides to take a break from talking to her mom and a week later MIL messages wife like nothing happened. No mention of the incident or apology. Eventually she gave a half-ass apology like ‘I am sorry that you were hurt by what I said’ (not an apology).
I am going to fast forward to after the baby is born. We decide to do daycare as we both work during the day. MIL thinks we should hire a nanny so that it is convenient for her. She hires her friend, X, for an insane rate for a nanny with no experience. I’m no expert, but for $20/hr, we could hire someone with experience, cpr certified, baby education experience, the works… MIL agrees to pay for half of the fee and we begrudgingly accept to appease the MIL.
2 months later, MIL has a falling out with X and the shit hits the fan. MIL fires X without consulting us, the parents, on a Wednesday morning. She then calls wife at work and says come pickup the baby, I fired X and I have yoga, doctor’s appointment and some other plans for the afternoon so I can’t take care of the baby. (I am so pissed off when I hear this – it really takes a certain type of person to be this inconsiderate)
I start calling local daycares to find something ASAP and most are full. As a last resort, call a friend who runs a daycare (that was full 2 months back) and they know the situation and gladly make room for her. (Cheers to awesome friends)
MIL calls wife later that night and asks when she would be bring the baby over so she can take care of her. We tell her that we found a daycare and we will be taking her there in the morning. She gets upset that we found a daycare and did not consider her in this decision. (I wanted to tell her tough shit, baby had plans to go to yoga at daycare in the morning – but wife gave me the death stare). Wife sugar coated the situation and MIL accepted it.
Few other events to note:
MIL called my wife a bitch for not siding with her regarding X.
Then when wife demanded an apology: ‘I’m sorry that you are unempathetic’
MIL has decided to diagnose my wife as having a personality disorder and a hoarding disorder.
This is funny to me because I work in the mental health field and neither of these diagnoses applies.
MIL has decided our house is unsafe because of wife’s hoarding, cat litter box, and the security cameras I installed since having a nanny. Refuses to enter our house and demands we bring the baby to her place if we want help with the baby.
All of this plus more
I have come to the realization that MIL is toxic and I do not want to be around that.
AITA for wanting to cut that out of my life? I refuse to interact with her and have left the decision for cutting her out of our life to my wife. Currently, Wife and baby still interact with MIL, but if things keep up – would not surprise me if wife cuts her out too.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
SjKqnnk6N6HZ2VwYKKZj8oitQe7CkUqb
|
avlnn7
|
{
"description": "calling my brothers kid a retard",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
Aita for calling my brothers kid a retard
|
I am 37 yrs old and i have been diagnosed with adult autism. My older brother is 40 with a 3 yr old and a newborn. I think the 3yr old is kn tbe spectrum but its just a thought and i have never mentioned it. We had a falling out so i had to block him on fb i dont like confrontation. He in turn texts me dropping many f bombs and threats to kick my ass after a long pissing contest where every message he replies starts with f'ing retard. I had it i said i am retarded and lets hope your kid isnt im retarded i can tell. He didnt it take it well but it worked to make him stop. Did i go to low?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 7,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 9
}
|
WRONG
|
s8SIVrk6WYo7b4ESvjxOpeeLkjGbUwJr
|
ab9c3i
|
{
"description": "not allowing people to weave through traffic",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for not allowing people to weave through traffic?
|
I commute to work via a two land highway for double digit miles (pain in the neck, i know). Every week i see probably one to three drivers weaving dangerously through traffic.
I drive on the right lane and when i see one of these guys I move to keep pace with the nearest car on the left lane so that people driving like maniacs (at least in my opinion) cant pass on the right, basically they can't squeeze in in front of me. I do not tailgate to do this and if I find myself getting too close to the car in front of me i stop doing this. I am also not driving level with the car in the left lane, I am slightly behind him in sort of a checkerboard position, i.e. there is no one directly to his right.
I know it is not my place to police other peoples' driving but in my opinion I am not doing anything particularly dangerous, especially considering that i am driving in the 'slow' lane and i believe in most US jurisdictions passing on the right is illegal.
So am I the big douche mcjerkface?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 8
}
|
WRONG
|
AS3ZABlDL2aOK2NR1tIRe9Q7MxlYhcOJ
|
b3tbhk
|
{
"description": "getting upset with my husband for not hanging out with me at the gym",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for getting upset with my husband for not hanging out with me at the gym?
|
So my husband and I do indoor rock climbing a few times a week. Some background: he has been climbing since he was in middle school and is really good at it. I hadn't ever really climbed before I met him, and neither of us had climbed in several years until we decided to get back into it a year ago. He's still a really good climber, and even though I'm still relatively new to it, I like it a lot and feel like I've improved a ton in the past year, but I'm still not as good as him. Also, the only type of climbing we do is bouldering, which is on 15' walls and requires no harness or ropes, i.e. you can do it yourself without a partner belaying you.
When we first started climbing we stuck together more, because we were both new to bouldering and starting at the same level. But since he had previous experience he got good again way faster than me, plus as I got more comfortable climbing I didn't need him to be my cheerleader for every route. So now whenever we go, we both do our own thing (since the stuff we each want to climb is usually not on the same wall) and maybe check in with each other a few times over the hour or two that we spend there. This has actually bothered me for a while but not enough to say anything about it.
The breaking point was last night at the gym; I was on one side of the room climbing stuff at my level while he was off somewhere else. I saw something funny happen and went to go tell him about it. He was climbing with a couple other guys working the same problem, and I tried to tell him the story, but I felt like he brushed me off to keep hanging out with his new friends. For some reason this really upset me (I think in part because I was already having a not great day of climbing), and I left to go digest my feelings by myself and then talked to him in the car on the way home about how hurt I felt that he didn't want to spend time with me. He said he'll try to stick closer to me in the future, but I'm posting here because I still feel weird about the whole thing.
So it basically boils down to:
I feel like he doesn't want to spend time with me, even though objectively I know that's not true because he says all the time how glad he is that I climb with him. I told him last night that I go to the gym for 2 reasons: to climb and to hang out with him, so when half of that doesn't happen it makes me sad.
But I can see his perspective too, he's a much more social person than me, plus since he's a better climber he wants to talk to people who he can get beta from. He and I are very different sizes (I'm petite, he's tall), so we have very different climbing styles. He can't learn a lot from watching me climb and vice versa, which is why he likes to hang out with other dudes there — they have more similar builds, climbing styles, and skill levels, so of course he can learn a lot more from hanging out with them.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
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}
|
NOBODY
|
{
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"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
l8xpcEYym6tkFsmJ8RIuECjkbJv9o5Sq
|
and0m9
| null |
AITA don't want to accept a loan for my birthday present
|
Yeah, that was my present, a loan. Yes it was interest free, yes I have to repay it all. Is a loan a gift?
Full story, I've been saving up for a new motorcycle. Not for fun, in a motorcycle courier. This isn't an out of the blue decision. This is a work vehicle I'm buying. I've been a courier for 5 years now. And I'm 30.
I've saved up £1k in two month, the bike I want is £3k. I asked my parents if instead of anything physical or a party or whatever, could they donate towards my new bike.
Like I was expecting £200 or something, then my mum says "we can give you the whole amount as a loan" and I'm like 'no I'd rather save up so give me something much less as a gift?'
Mum says
"Dad & i have spoken about bike loan tonight. Dad says providing you:
1 Negotiate a cash sale price for the bike ( you should get it cheaper if you pay the dealer upfront)
2 what extras they can throw in e.g. top box, disk lock, cover, Gloves etc. Servicing, guarantee
3 you promise to keep it maintained according to guarranttee & don't fiddle with it! That you park it safely & legally each night.
We will lend you the money. You need to let us know how much you can realistically repay us each month.
You must keep yourself safe at all times!"
I prefer to save than to be in debt, and I feel like instead of *monetary* interest shes trying to charge emotional interest.
Just to clarify. I didn't ask for a loan. This was her idea and she won't gift me a small amount.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 36,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 42,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
pmotDi1ubj0vwBlBxEaJzZnvZgnCR2Yi
|
b0xbk6
|
{
"description": "ignoring a friend when they asked to crash at my place for the night",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For Ignoring a Friend when they asked to crash at my place for the night?
|
I’ll start by saying that my boyfriend always tell me that I let people take advantage of me. Sometimes I see his point but other times I feel kind of responsible to help people. My neighbor is Transgender and lives with his ex boyfriend. He is having difficulty finding a job, so I offered to look at his resume for him. Neither have a car, and ask for rides at least once a week. It seems like he only texts me when he needs something most of the time. They have been fighting and tonight he asked me if he could stay at my place, and I ignored him. I feel like an asshole for this, but I have difficulty saying no to people. But, I’ve only known this person for two months, and I don’t feel comfortable having someone I don’t really know in my apartment. I also live with my boyfriend who isn’t comfortable with him staying here either
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
xuYCyyTSdwxP2ZVvXsr97buz4k0tXQzp
|
a0s6ub
|
{
"description": "choosing my cat over my boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 10
}
|
AITA for choosing my cat over my boyfriend?
|
A couple days ago I got a new cat. It’s a black kitty that I found roaming around at night. It’s definitely a stray and not a wild cat because it was very sweet and had no problem brushing up on a stranger. Don’t be alarmed, I’m not planing on keeping it if it’s owner shows up. I’ve posted it on several local missing pet Facebook groups to see if I can find an owner.
Anyway, this is the second cat I have with my boyfriend along with a pug. This cat is very clean and doesn’t shed at all. Tonight me and my boyfriend got into a fight because he doesn’t wanna sleep in a bed with a cat. This just completely baffles me because we have slept in a bed with the other cat who is more outdoors and is much more unkempt. She sheds and is a little smelly but he has never noted a problem sleeping in a bed with her. We both have allergies to cats but truly I haven’t seen him have a flare up from the cats.
The argument consisted of him telling me that he can’t sleep with me if the cat is on the bed because it just grosses him out so much that the cat is near the pillows (not touching). He has brought the dog up onto the bed on multiple occasions and I am extremely allergic to dogs. I never complain because it makes him happy. Now once I get a new sweet kitty, it has to be a big deal. At the end of it he told me I had to choose to sleep with him or the cat and after hearing him yell at me and look down at the sweet little kitty I told him he can go sleep alone. Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 10
}
|
WRONG
|
xdtSmDD6VIDjzr8yAXN9dU7KNTLN09cD
|
amtzsg
|
{
"description": "not lending a friend a boardgame so he can play tonight",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not lending a friend a boardgame so he can play tonight.
|
We play boardgames at my house, and we've been playing frequently the past month. Today I can't play, and a friend of mine asked me if he could borrow the game to play in his house. I said no, and he didn't take it very well.
'what's going to happen to it?' he asks, 'whats the problem?'.
And the problem is 1) that he has borrowed things from me before and not taken care of them (to be fair it happened years ago), and 2) he is inconsistent with his word. This means, when he says he will give it back tomorrow, I don't really believe it.
The thing is, I feel bad for saying no. Its probable that nothing will happen to the game and he will give it back no problem. And Im afraid being 'an asshole' about it may have repercussions in our relationship in some way.
Nonetheless, I don't want to lend him the game. Does this make me the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
UJBfVGJfYMLACWHnvgyZauayD94bdObm
|
az98er
|
{
"description": "wanting to report my roommate",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting to report my roommate
|
So me and my room both got a husky puppy and it's been a few weeks now and it seems like I'm doing everything for the dog from feed to letting him out to potty and everything between.i buy all the toys so they wouldnt be bored when I'm at work. The pups were running out of food and I told him hey get them some food they starving jokingly ,they still had bout a few more days worth of food left.well on the last day this dude brought the smallest bag he can find which only lasted two fucking days and last night they ran out. He had order pizza that night son i figured he would buy some in the morning when the store opens ,well I just woke up at 12pm and there was still no food but yu could hear him on his xbox playing with his friends.so I bust into his room and started yelling at him why the fuck hasn't he gotten food for them they hungry and need to eat his response was that's all I could afford the little bag of food two days ago.i pointed out that he had pizza the night before and he said well imma eat before my dog so I can work and feed them on monday. .I never wanted to punch someone in the face so hard , he also said that if I didnt like it his way I could get food for my dog and let his starve untill he get paid on Monday and I was like no that's fucking wrong I would never do that anyone and I hope yu dont have kids with that order of thinking. So am I the asshole
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
zGNygCsL5WWLflIsK0aaAHsq4iKy61XF
|
ao8dbl
|
{
"description": "calling the cops on my asshole roommate",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for calling the cops on my asshole roommate?
|
I feel like I should preface that we are in Canada and he is a white male with a warrant already out for his arrest. There is no risk of him being killed by the cops.
I’ve lived in this house for just over a month and every damn day he is screaming at his girlfriend and I’m pretty sure he’s hitting her. I’ve heard stories in the past from other roommates that he has given her a black eye.
Recently he’s been accusing me and my boyfriend of stealing. For example he came knocking on our door yelling that we must be the ones stealing his roaches because we were the only ones home at that time (not true) I told him we literally just bought weed off him why would we steal his roaches.
On top of him accusing us of stealing I know he’s stolen from his girlfriend but it happened the first week we where here so it didn’t seem my place to tell her as I was just happy not to be homeless anymore and didn’t want to rock the boat.
Now, our stuff has been going missing too. Stuff left in the living room. Cigarettes. Food out of the fridge which sucks extra bad because we have the flu and can’t work to get money for groceries and someone stole the only food we had. I’ve thought about it and he is the only in the house who is unemployed. His names on the lease but we pay all the rent he lives her for free so to me it seems logical that he would be the one needing to steal.
I’ve just gotten really sick of the abuse towards his gf, the yelling accusations and stealing. I just want him out of the house for a bit and if the cops find him he’ll just go away for a couple months. I’ve debated calling Suicide watch on myself so the cops come to the house, waiting till it’s loud and calling in a noise complaint, or calling in a domestic next time they fight.
TL;DR My roommate is accusing me of stealing which I’m not but I think he’s the one stealing from me. He’s constantly verbally abusing his girlfriend and rampaging through the house. He has a warrant out for his arrest and I’m thinking about getting the cops here so he’ll get taken away for a couple months (he’s told me that’s how long he’d go away for if caught)
WIBTA for calling? I know it’s pretty serious to send someone to jail even though I’ve heard Canadian jails are pretty cushy but there’s already a warrant out for him so it’s not like I’m personally responsible for him going to jail I’m just speeding up the process. I don’t know for a fact that he’s the one stealing from us which also makes me doubt if I should call but regardless if he is the accusations and verbal abuse are too much I just want to live in peace.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
zbSWBwpIULlmMZkaMqxB2SpLh3VUQLu0
|
9x7t7t
|
{
"description": "nit feeling bad for my classmate",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for nit feeling bad for my classmate?
|
I was playing Just Cause 3 today and I was watching a deer just read around this island in the game. I had my gun drawn because I had just been in a fight but I was watching this deer just roam around very peacefully in a very violent (and very fun) game. I accidentally hit the button on my controller to shot and I shot the deer. When I shot the deer I felt bad, my heart sank a little. I was actually a bit sad that this deer died, this fake deer that is really a line or two of some code.
Earlier today I saw a fight at my school. One guy (guy 1) was punched in the nose because he confronted another guy (guy 2) because guy 2 unplugged the Wii the guy 1 was using. Guy 1 was bleeding and might have had his nose break. I was a witness to this but I didn't feel as bad as I should have about guy 1. I just didn't feel bad, I was more concerned about the blood on the ground and making sure it got cleaned up than him.
I think I felt worse about the fake deer than my classmate who was actually hurt. Does that make me an asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
WRONG
|
FgfkkXR6nysAO5Hi3eUmcpGN2bk08xee
|
a2jtvi
|
{
"description": "not typing my friends essay",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for not typing my friends essay?
|
There's a girl that I've been friends with for a while, and that I kinda have a crush on. We hang out a lot, and talk all the time at school (we're both juniors in high school), and we're just in general very comfortable around each other.
I was at her house the other day, and she brings up this english essay she has due tomorrow, and hadn't even started. She said that she had somewhere really important to be tonight and was basically preparing herself to take the f, when I offered to write it for her. It was on Huckleberry Finn, which I've read a bunch and really love, so it would be a piece of cake for me. She says "thank you so much" and all that and everything's cool.
Later that night, before I start the essay, I check snapchat and see that she's on a date with another guy I know. I got super pissed off that this was the "important" and "urgent" thing she had to do. So without telling her, I just didn't write the essay. And the next day at school, she had the nerve to get angry at me for not doing it like she wasn't on a date. Am I the asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
ms2WNEUaOMxM6BEzAglZiWf4D21DBdNj
|
a1ehz0
|
{
"description": "not feeling safe at work",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not feeling safe at work?
|
There was a situation in my workplace today that was left very vague. There was some form of threat made to my company by a worker or ex worker of the company and they were concerned enough to go to the police who said they weren’t really concerned by the threats. My bosses went around locking the doors (you can go out but can’t get in) and put up signs saying so. They didn’t tell anyone why they were doing this so I went and asked our front desk lady and was told everything was okay and my boss walked by while I was asking and just had the meanest look on his face, I said I was just really concerned and instead of offering me any words just glared at me as I met his gaze. It honestly unsettled me even more.
After a bit they call everyone to the break room to tell us about the threat and how the police weren’t really worried but they were taking precautions by locking doors, understandable but at this point I’ve already had a panic attack in the bathroom because I could tell they were lying when they told me “everything was okay”.
Even though no one really seemed all that concerned even though we never lock the doors like this I couldn’t shake my anxiety and uneasiness being there with how many shootings happen now days. I’ve been stressed and I couldn’t handle it, I ended up going home for the rest of the day.
I was pretty certain of my decision but I know people are gonna talk shit on me leaving tomorrow and my own mother said it’s not what she would have done but she didn’t have to deal with the risk of shootings like we do now. I just couldn’t stop thinking about how I didn’t wanna die at this job is that’s what I was risking. I’m still gonna go back but I just didn’t feel safe being there today, am I the asshole for not staying at work even though they said it was “safe”? Anyone can shoot through glass if that’s their prerogative.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
YFq5HSXCSbHcPEK06glMqHvaoubplz7S
|
am0n38
|
{
"description": "supporting a GF I stopped loving",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for supporting a GF I stopped loving?
|
Throwaway account
I am a 24 year old man who dated a 20 year old woman for over a year. For the last three months of our relationship i was no longer in love with her.
After a year of being together, my own mental state and money issues were at all time lows. At this time i decided to no longer emotionally support someone else in my life. My ex GF (who will now be named "sarah" for amoninity) is an amazing person to speak with. One of the reasons i fell in love with her initially was she put so much energy into her hobbies and talent. With those highs of energy she had very bad lows, we shared each others fears of being left alone or bad experinces with others in school. This made me feel close to sarah, but this was getting into what made me happy.
I feel like im always running out of time in my life. Esspecially in the last 6 months i stopped doing things for myself that made me happy. Things like my writing and editing were not being done, cause i wanted to spebd more time with sarah. Thinking the only solution to solve these issues was to step away from the relationship after her birthday in late october.
Right before I was planning to break up, her parents fell behind on rent and within the week she was getting kicked out of her place. We disscussed on sarahs short term plan to stay with me for two weeks, then helped her move all her stuff out in the coming month. With the first 2 weeks at my place we did not have sex, just lots of playing games and talking things out. During those 2 weeks she asked me "with me being kicked out of my place, do you still love me?". I lied and said that i did, that sarah getting kicked out didnt effect how i felt about her.
After 1 month she found a place with a roommate and with the help of my brother we were able to move all her stuff from a storage locker, to her new apartment. Her mother then starts having more heart problems, and i delay telling her i wanted to break up for another month. About a week before chistmas is when i decided to break up with sarah. She seemed calm at the time and we didnt really communicate since late december.
Over the month of january i moved some of the last things she had at my place. only getting messages from her about getting rides to work from my brother, or just times when i can drop off boxes of her stuff. Then tonight when she picked up a box, was the first time i seen her afraid of me. Im not a scary looking boy, but that woke me up to write this down. So looking for dissucussion so i can figure out how to move on, i still dont want to lose talking to her. But getting back together as partners is something i dont want right now.
TLDR Was going to break up with sarah, didnt after 3 months, lied to her the whole time
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
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"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
yFcYS9OdCt4M6LuMGFByn7LwXVn73Hqj
|
a27ret
|
{
"description": "just having a boys only night",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for just having a boys only night?
|
Not trying to give too much information but here’s a quick summary. There’s 5 of us in our friends group, 2 girls and 3 guys, two of the guys are currently going to two different schools while me and the other two girls attend the same school. It’s difficult to have a group hangout, we usually do a group hangout on the weekends due to distance. The two girls would hang out more than often without sometimes telling the rest of us. I love each and every one of them and we love each other unconditionally. So a friend that went to the same school with just me and guys a few years ago wanted to do a reunion to catch up. I suggested a boys night out as boys night only happens once every few months.... but the thing is the person from a few years ago is a girl and one of the girls in our group is upset that we’re excluding them. All of this was my plan, the guys decided that whoever comes is fine, and I also subsequently agreed to a group hangout. Am I the asshole for just wanting a boys night with a girl that we haven’t seen in years?
Tl;dr - girls in our 5 man group do their girl hangouts occasionally, a girl friend wanted to do a hangout with the guys, one of them girls is upset about the exclusion
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
MxUZKo6aiqLLxCkV3Qxk6fIVqJN5zW2u
|
b0h3x1
| null |
AITA- color of bridesmaid dress
|
So my sister who is the maid of honor at my wedding bought a dress online. I gave each of the bridesmaids a navy blue color to match their dresses with. My sister picked a navy blue dress online and when it came in today it looked more black blue than navy. Am i the asshole for wanting her to return it and get another dress? She does have a limited budget and this dress was about $40 whereas the ones I'm looking at are $50- $100. I'm trying not to be a bridezilla because she is throwing me a wedding shower out of pocket but I dont want the color of the dress to look weird with the other navy blue dresses. Also if I'm NTA how do I ask her to change the dress nicely?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 7,
"INFO": 1
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
ltmNEaGQ0mgoMZMfHvSIwNLf2qYKII0K
|
areqo5
|
{
"description": "not tipping after issues with my hair stylist",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not tipping after issues with my hair stylist?
|
I go to the same salon every time I get my hair cut or colored, but this last appointment I decided to try a different stylist because she was supposed to be very good. Because she’s good, she’s hard to book with so I had to make an appointment several months in advance. Today the day finally came, and at first she lived up to the hype. Very courteous, nice, talkative, informed, etc.
After she had applied my color she set me down to process and I noticed she took a lot longer to come back than she had said the color needed. Same thing happened with toner and treatment. At this point, it’s a little annoying but okay. I’m not upset or anything. By the time I finally get set back down to have my hair dried and cut, I’ve already been at the salon for 2.5 hours. My hair is shoulder length so there’s not a lot there, so it’s taken longer than it should have already.
After she sits me down at her station again, she lets me know some clients of hers from out of town had asked if she could squeeze them in and she had said yes. This explains the long wait times earlier. Again, annoying, but I’m not up in arms over it or anything. As soon as she sits me down, she says she needs to give the walk in a quick trim and she will be right back.
I waited for 45 minutes before I finally lost my patience and went up to the reception. I told them I wanted to pay for my hair color and leave at this point, which was hard for me to do to begin with because I hate confrontation. The receptionist told me he wanted to go speak with the stylist, and he’d be right back. When she came back with him, she was really nice and apologetic and told me she knew it was wrong. It was sincere. She gave me the color treatment for free and only rang me up for the hair color itself. I was still really upset and didn’t tip her. Now I feel kind of bad, so AITA for not tipping her after she discounted the service?
She did also offer to cut my hair for free but I was upset by that point and just wanted to leave. I will say, she obviously didn’t learn her lesson about squeezing people in because she told me to call her any time and that she would make time for me.
TLDR: Hair stylist ditched me for a walk in, I complained and received a discounted service. I didn’t tip. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
s5Zi4nUqR2FMKKWvOVcanDiKf10aPnsL
|
ax9mlv
|
{
"description": "not ordering anything in a coffee shop",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 24
}
|
WIBTA if I don't order anything in a coffee shop?
|
Not as serious as some of the other stuff I've seen on this subreddit, but I'd like to ask nevertheless.
I'm a high school student. Recently, a coffee shop opened near my school, and I've taken to going there a lot (almost every day I'd say). It's really peaceful and atmospheric, and is a nice change of pace from school. i like studying there (and I get a lot more done there than at home), or just hanging out.
I'm thinking of going there later today to do my homework, but I don't want to buy anything. I've purchased something every other time I've gone there, but as a high school student (no job) this obviously isn't good for me money-wise.
I'd feel bad for not buying anything though, because they are a business in the end, but I don't want to spend money.
WIBTA if I went there and didn't buy anything?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 24,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 24
}
|
WRONG
|
tCXtJyL1b1FXXj5LrJ1Ni56bcuxiRwcL
|
a5xott
|
{
"description": "almost getting hit by a car",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for almost getting hit by a car?
|
Today I was running a few final errands for Christmas. My last one of the day was to drop off a purse my boyfriend's mom gave me to a coworker. I didn't like the purse, but it was a really nice one, so I wanted to give it to someone who'd like it instead of tossing it. My work parking lot is a shitshow, and well known in my town for being poorly designed. Mix that with all the new discount retailers that opened up there and the fact it's the holiday season, and the lot was an absolutely crowded mess. However, I got in the lot fine and gave my coworker the purse. She thought it was great. Cool and good. I pull out to leave.
​
The main entrance/exit for the shopping center is a 3 way stop. Entrance traffic does not stop, but exiting traffic in all three ways do. Both the left turn and the straight stops were backed up a while, but I pulled right up to the stop on the right turn side. People going straight just kept going straight, not letting anyone else in. In California, the person to the far right would have the right of way at such a stop (after all incoming traffic). But, it's So Cal, everyone thinks they're the most important person in the world and that everyone else comes last. A lot of people in my suburb have a first come, first serve mentality when it comes to stop signs. Finally, some incoming traffic drives in with his left turn signal on, so the people going straight have to stop. Because this guy is turning left, the people waiting for the left turn can't quite go until he's cleared the intersection. This lead me to believe I was good to turn, so I started my right turn as soon as I see him start his left.
​
What happens next is a loud honk, right behind me. I look in my review mirror and a car is right up my ass. I guess the lady turning left to the exit had started her left turn as the guy had started his, instead of waiting. So we both ended up turning at the same time! And of course, the light to get out of the shopping center takes forever and she's right behind me, glaring, the whole time. I know technically the rules of the road say she was in the wrong, but from a nonlegal perspective, am I suffering from the same mindset I described before? I know she was probably tired of waiting to turn, but I still think she's kind of a bitch for turning when the other guy hadn't even cleared the intersection, and for nearly rear ending me and then honking at me.
​
If I am the asshole, I accept that. I used to have to drive around in Los Angeles and the SF Valley, and I've learned that you have to balance offensive and defensive driving if you want to get anywhere. That being said, I try to stick to defensive in my little suburb. Though...... I've almost been hit so many times at this intersection (whether I'm the incoming traffic or not), and I'm starting to wonder if I just suck at driving....
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
qc58DkipmfoxytGUrVpf3HJ4MWU538to
|
at00i1
|
{
"description": "'ghosting' my ex after she cheated with me",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for 'Ghosting' my ex after she cheated with me?
|
Bit of a long story, we never officially dated because when we met we were studying abroad together and she had a boyfriend back in her home country. By the end of our time abroad we'd pretty much been a couple for several months in terms of how things were when we were alone together. When we were around friends though it changed and everything had to be kept a secret, which took a significant toll on my mental health.
After our time abroad she broke up with her boyfriend and went back to her home country in Europe and I went back to Australia. She didn't want a label but she wanted me to come visit her around my exam time and when I told her I couldn't she got nasty saying that I would never achieve any of my goals because I couldn't follow through with little things like travelling to see her. This was one criticism amongst many that she had including criticising my choice of engineering discipline because it showed disregard for the environment, as well as for the political affiliations of my friends, not being vegetarian and a few other things.
The constant criticism hurt me, I felt very depressed at this point, a lot due to me not re-adjusting to life at home after my year abroad, but the relationship didn't help either. Before she met me there was another guy she had feelings for who left because of her boyfriend. Hearing that she was then single, he came back into her life and they started travelling together and I felt very uncomfortable with it, and despite the fact she promised that it was me she wanted, I didn't feel I could trust her. This was the point where I had enough and I stopped responding to a lot of her messages. She ramped up the scale of the abusive messages she'd send and at times she'd hit a nerve and I'd respond.
For about 6 months this carried on until she called me out for being an asshole who didn't ever care for her and was too immature to hold down a relationship. I did know that she was also struggling with depression as much as I was, but I felt so much better not talking to her so I just couldn't bring myself to respond, or really communicate that to her. I know I should've tried explaining that to her but I found it too difficult at the time.
When I finally got around to explaining that I left because she was hurting me, and apologised for not communicating or ending it in the healthiest way, she told me that I was just trying to make myself out to be a good person when I'm not by apologising and didn't believe I was genuinely sorry. She believes that me handling breaking it off by not responding to messages was much more harmful than anything she ever did to me and that I'm the asshole here. I find it hard to objectively view this situation, please help me Reddit.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
Ndh2mLxIKjCUSUvqsJ0kIinhEsvrsgYv
|
as95iq
|
{
"description": "ghosting a guy I've dated for over 3 months because he keeps sending me dick pics",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for ghosting a guy I've dated for over 3 months because he keeps sending me dick pics?
|
Okay, so let me explain... I met a guy last November on Bumble and we hit it off immediately during our first date. The chemistry was insane and we ended up seeing each other at least twice a week since then. He would always plan really fun but expensive dates whenever we go out. He insisted on paying for everything even though I wanted to split the bill multiple times. The sex was also amazing. However, I don't really have a high sex drive, so we'd have sex but not all the time. Thankfully, he never forced me to have sex when I didn't feel like it. The weird thing about him though is that he transforms into a completely different person when we aren't together. He would be cold, detached, and uninterested when we talked about how our day was going, any random topics, etc. He explained to me that he just doesn't like texting & I understood that, so I never forced him to text me daily. What I don't get is why he only likes to talk about sex when we do end up texting and why he would always send me dick pics at night even after I told him that sexting is not my thing. I tried to engage in sexting twice to try to please him and I did enjoy it. I just didn't want to repeat it again and again. He still didn't stop. He said that since we don't see each other as often as he wanted, he has to express his sexual needs in another way. It really made me question his real motive of dating me. He assured me that he would never go on "real dates" with someone if his intentions were purely sexual. The fact that he also brings up spending so much money on me also rubbed me the wrong way, even though he said he was only joking. It made me think that he felt entitled to have sex with me because of how much time and money he spends on me. Two weeks ago, I've had had enough of the dick pics so I decided to not reply to him anymore. I still like him a lot but it has been extremely exhausting arguing about this on almost a daily basis. I'm posting this today because he texted me this morning and I accused me of treating him like shit and for not exerting effort to make our relationship work.
So am I the asshole here for not pursuing this relationship any further? I don't want to explain myself anymore because I feel like he knew this was coming and we will just end up fighting again. Honestly, I think we are better off not dating each other because I am unable to satisfy his needs. I feel a little guilty though, since I can't deny the fact that he has done so much for me.
​
English is not my first language btw, so apologies if made grammatical errors.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
jCm352M0Oo9je7Pomt8oreYeYbKfNEuB
|
aznfxo
|
{
"description": "saying that since I pay for things my adult children should help around the house",
"pronormative_score": 50,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for saying that since I pay for things my adult children should help around the house?
|
Both my adult children 21m and 20f moved back home within the past year. On top of providing a house with utilities and food, I give them money to do fun things as well as paying for gas and insurance. Neither one has a job, but one is going to college and the other is starting in a week). My DH and I each work 50+ hours/week. Over the past few days I've asked them to clean up around the house, and they did a couple things. Just to be clear, I am nowhere close to a clean freak; we have a very lived in home.
Today, I asked my son to do the dishes so I could make dinner, to which he replied that he needed to put his clothes into his new dresser and wanted to get his room situated. He had been living out of his suitcase for 3 months, so we got him a dresser. But, I got pissed and yelled that one would think that after paying for him and his sister to take their cousin (from another state) out eating/drinking last night, that they would show some appreciation by helping out. Anytime I bring up money he says that I pay for things so that I can feel like I own him.
AITA for asking them to show appreciation for what they have by helping clean the house?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 47,
"EVERYBODY": 6,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 50,
"WRONG": 8
}
|
RIGHT
|
JP9hjYvRg1iWuSUV36TaoZmkCRNUwW05
|
apu4jg
|
{
"description": "refusing to let my parents get a bank loan under my name",
"pronormative_score": 19,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for refusing to let my parents get a bank loan under my name?
|
Just to give a quick overview of our family set up. I'm 24 and I'm doing fairly well in my field of work. I earn a bit more than my parents do, who are both into their late 40s.
They recently brought up that they want to purchase a good piece of property which is just adjacent from our family home. The catch is they want to get it through a bank loan that would probably sum up to 58 grand or more – which they would apply under my name.
When I asked why, their explanation was straightforward: They think it's a good investment, I earn more and have cleaner bank records they don't have the best financial history around.
I haven't given them a clear answer yet regarding this yet, but the moment they asked, it was immediately a no for me.
I don't want to sound selfish or ungrateful towards my folks. They're good people. But getting that loan would put a lot of pressure on me. They've made bad financial decisions in the past and if they don't meet their monthly dues with this loan, they know I'm going to be forced to pay it to keep my credit score on the good side. There have been times when they've borrowed significant amount of money from me, but have failed to give it back.
I suppose I should also mention that I still live with them (they refuse to let me move out because they think if I do, the money I contribute to the family bills will lessen), I pay for our car (which they wouldn't let me drive because I'm not yet "a very good driver"), and I help with other expenses at home like my younger siblings' tuition fee in school and the groceries.
I'm frugal enough to say that I have ample savings for myself, but I know that a huge chunk of what I make has always been channelled to the household for the past three years.
Am I being an a-hole daughter for not wanting to lend them a hand with their loan?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 19,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 19,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
W3nbkaHrBH3eA1JSB8cDPefF4Unmttl8
|
auewfp
|
{
"description": "saying no to a good friend",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for saying no to a good friend
|
A friend of mine I've had for a decade now and I just recently started taking a college course for a programming language and we're about a month in. Though we both find the class difficult, the friend is struggling a bit more than I am with the class as a whole.
So far, I've helped them quite extensively with all of our assignments, homework, and classwork. I've also made several suggestions on how to perhaps get better with the language (these include methods that I've been using to try and get better) like studying their vocabulary, practicing by creating random useless programs that pertain to what we've learned, researching things they don't understand or asking me, etc.
Well, this past week we were assigned a pretty difficult assignment that was about four times in length (in terms of workload) compared to everything we've been doing thus far. I offered them three different opportunities to work with me over the week/weekend (scheduled ahead of time) on the assignment but they kept saying they were doing other stuff every time one of those opportunities came up.
Well, I decided to push forward anyway and start working on my own during the third opportunity. It took me roughly 12 hours to finally complete the assignment and the day after my friend asked me if I could just send them the code "to use as a reference". I offered to just meet with them on Skype so we could just talk and I could help them whenever they had a question plus I could see their screen and point out any issues they might be having. They refused and said it'd be easier just to have the code as a reference and I said no, I would not give them the code. They said that I was being a jerk for not helping them the way they thought would be best and that it's a shitty way to treat someone I've known for so long. Am I the ass hole and should I just give them the code? Should I have handled this a different way than I did?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
tipGWliebesTijFWYLOLDq0UNy2Wjy1g
|
anundr
|
{
"description": "telling my gf to become a Productive Member of Society",
"pronormative_score": 32,
"contranormative_score": 27
}
|
AITA For Telling my GF to Become a Productive Member of Society?
|
I'm M22, she's F23. She's going to graduate with her masters in a few months and has never had a job before. Her family is pretty well off, her dad is a dentist and mom is an accountant and she lives with them where they provide her with around 1k+ a month in allowance. Now she wants to move in with me, I rent an apt by myself and said she'll pay half the rent. I'm ok with this as we've been together for almost a year and talking about this now seems like a good step. So when I asked her about how is she gonna pay for rent and bills etc she said her allowance from her parents will cover half the rent and bills and then she's going to expand her instagram (she has like 8k followers) to get money through affiliate marketing. I was pretty against this and told her she needs to get a job and go into the real world like an adult and make real money. I told her that with her parents allowance and her working anywhere even for min wage full time she'll have a good monthly income and be able to save and buy things instead of struggling month to month. Also she doesn't realize that she'll have to struggle month to month, after bills and rent she'll have only a few hundred dollars left and I think she expects me to pick up the tab which I'm not going to even though I'm on track to make 70k this year.
​
I told her all this and how if we were to move in she'd need to get a job and move into reality where people work and don't just go to school for no reason. She got upset by this and said that she can make some money off IG from posts but I don't think she can make that much from posting pics of her ass and tits (even though they're nice). I also told her its because of her friends not being in the real world like her she hasn't real seen it, all her friends have wealthy families and live off them and just go further into school without ever having a job.
After all this was said she was really sad, and said I made her feel like a bum and that I'm an asshole, dick etc
​
AITA for this?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 22,
"OTHER": 28,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 32,
"WRONG": 27
}
|
RIGHT
|
GTrT4qqAbzvnvYRwNVfqVVvxpTKxx1fS
|
akkifw
|
{
"description": "offering to buy something for my bf",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for offering to buy something for my bf?
|
My boyfriend and I had moved from SoCal to a more winters part of the country over the summer, and since August I had been bugging him to replace his windshield wiper blades since they were streaking, and I would remind him every couple of weeks. The new year rolls around and he still hasn’t gotten them and it’s to the point where the passenger side one is falling off halfway.
Well I had owed him aroun 40$, so I went on amazon and looked up windshield wipers and for his car they happened to be the exact price of what I owed him! Sweet! So I give him this offer: do you want me to buy them, or do you want the cash? He quickly declined in the most rude way possible and freaking out on me that he couldn’t afford it. I called him out on his behavior and he turned it into a full blown fight right before he had to go to work for the day.
Now my question is this, am I the asshole for offering? I feel like if I just chose to buy them for him as a way of paying it back, I’d be the asshole, but in this case I feel like I’m not. Thoughts?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
5sb41ircK6qYjNVv8Ib6MwZB3Jcs2Zsr
|
b4h11g
|
{
"description": "accidentally outing a guy still in the closet",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for accidentally outing a guy still in the closet
|
So I was talking with this guy I work with a while ago who ended up telling me he was dating this guy I had graduated with and had gone to school with since elementary. The guy I went to school with was kind of a dick to me in a couple different ways through out the years and never really spoke to him. I didn't know he was gay till that point but didn't really care that much as long as my coworker was happy. After work that same day I was hanging out with a friend I also graduated with and mentioned that so-and-so from school was dating my coworker.
The next day I get about 10 long Facebook messages from guy from school telling me that I was spreading rumors about him and that he wasn't out of the closet yet and now a girl he hates from high school knows and will use it against him. Apparently my friend told their friend (girl who hates him) about former classmate being gay. I honestly thought classmate was out of the closet since he was openly dating a man who was telling others about their relationship.
My other friends think I should have asked former classmate's permission before telling anyone about him dating my coworker. Should I have asked for permission? Am I the asshole for kind of outing him?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 3
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
rrdmtt684a5Drs6poZwlQlf4XmpklITi
|
aqodq8
|
{
"description": "laughing at Rover Opportunity's death",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for laughing at Rover Opportunity's death?
|
First of all, I actually had no idea there were 2 different rovers. I only knew about curiosity. But upon learning that the Mars rover recently died, I actually laughed out loud and though that it was a shitpost because of its final message.
And then I learned it was for real. I was in tears that it just up and died. I had numerous people tell me that I was being insensitive toward it and should he considerate of the information it has given scientists. Which made me laugh even more. I honestly cannot think of it being a serious issue. But everyone whom I spoke to yesterday thought I was a jackass for laughing at the rover, and especially at its final message.
So, did I do something wrong? I can understand the scientists that chartered the project feeling upset, but not everyday people
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
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