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oYFhClXeGRkvIWX19uBuNO0vygdF2vNC
|
ar1tuo
|
{
"description": "telling a friend that I already have something they gifted me",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I told a friend that I already have something they gifted me?
|
So my friends know I'm interested in vinyl records, and that I have a couple that I listen to. One of my friends wrapped up a record and gifted it to me. Unfortunately, since we had classes, I couldn't spend more time with her and I couldn't open it when she was there. She asked me instead to video myself opening it, since she wanted my reaction.
Anyway, I did video myself. And when I opened it, I saw a record that I already had. What were the chances? Since I was on video, I didn't know how to react. I was just so surprised I said "wow, thanks so much!" and ended my video.
I havent sent the video, and I don't want to send the video. I don't know if I should explain myself to her or not. I appreciate her gift so much; it's not like I hate it. And I don't want to conceal from her the fact that I already had it. But WIBTA if I told her I already had that record?
tl:dr - I was gifted a record from a friend, but when I opened it, I realised I already had it, and I don't know if I should tell her that I already have that record.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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"EVERYBODY": 0,
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NOBODY
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
oYmLeyTFEazAHluKG3OQ2wcQh7Fe8un6
|
av23eh
|
{
"description": "attacking my friend's source of grief",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for attacking my friend's source of grief?
|
The friend in question we will call Tom. Tom has always been kind of homophobic. Specifically the "I'm not a homophobe, but if I see a gay couple I'm going to call the a couple of f-" brand of homophobia.
You might imagine how difficult it was to come out as bi to all my friends, him included. He was suprisingly alright with it, and continued treating me as normal, which was nice. However, a certain meme began to spread around, particularly on Instagram. It was the "Anti-LGBT Emoji"(And yes, I know that to some it means "no homo" but that isnt the case for Tom. The specific memes on Instagram he was liking all referred to it as the "Anti-LGBT Emoji")
I saw him liking these memes on Instagram. I was kind of annoyed at the meme and Instagram as a whole, but all I had to do was close the app and it was gone. This wasnt good enough for Tom though, and he started sending it to our group chat. I had told him to cut it out and made it clear he was getting me mad. Of course, this only made Tom want to do it more. He kept spamming the emoji and eventually I just muted the chat. I was thinking "He's being annoying and purposefully trying to make me angrier, but it's fine. As long as he's dropped it by the time I'm back, I'll let it go."
So then I decided since I came out privately to everyone who mattered to me, I was finally ready to come out in a more public way. I made a profile picture for myself on Facebook with myself in front of the bi pride flag. Uploaded it, and sure enough...
Tom, in the comments, with the Anti-LGBT Emoji on my profile picture that I used to come out publicly. I had enough. I didn't care if it was just some emoji.
You see, I remembered a few monthes ago when Stan Lee passed away. Tom was very upset, and fell into a slump for a while. I did my very best to help him out of this slump, and I remembered him telling me "He was my hero, man. I really wanted to meet him. I wanted to go to cons hoping I'd meet him."
I saw an opportunity to hit Tom where it hurt. I replied to his comment with "Haha! Good one Tom, wanna know whats funnier though?"
"Is it [Emoji]?"
"Nope! That you thought youd actually get to meet Stan Lee before he died!"
and thus followed a long comment chain where he tried to justify his emoji and even some of my friends jumping in trying to convince him to just stop (mind you, this is all public, including to my parents.)
It ended with me explaining to him that even if it was a joke, everyone has jokes they dont like, even him. He said he would stop doing it, though he didnt apologize.
It has been almost a week since then now, and I've been thinking it over. In my head I think I did something good, but in my heart I think I feel bad. We havent talked since then, and the rest of my friends have started pulling away from him. This situation isnt entirely why theyre pulling away from him, but this was the straw that broke the camels back.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
EVERYBODY
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
nlnWkAS674x7mb2PC4gdNyDQl2RuZ0uR
|
9wn049
|
{
"description": "being a little possessive over my food",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being a little possessive over my food
|
My boyfriend and I have lived together for a couple months now and he likes to eat my food and just tonight drink the rest of my liquor. I do have a problem (that I'm trying to work on) of not sharing my food. All I have asked him is to ask me if he can have some of my chips, drink that last of my whiskey, eat my bread ect. To him I'm having a power trip making him ask for permission and am being selfish. He can have some of my food, I just feel it's disrespectful for him to eat my stuff (especially if it's the last of it) without asking. We share main things like meat, condiments, cheese, and lunch things. I'll go out and by my own chips and snacks like that and he'll just eat it without asking.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
TsgGRyXQDvrrqFzgkUeLwabbwQImkD33
|
ac1upz
|
{
"description": "hating and refusing to help a mentally disabled person that attack and almost killed my mother",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for hating and refusing to help a mentally disabled person that attack and almost killed my mother?
|
Hey, so some backstory. My mother works for a company that inables mentally handicapped people to live on their own. This particular house has anywhere from 3-5 individuals living in it. This one individual, who I'm call B, has never had a problem with my mother or any other worker (to my knowledge). I don't know if B has Downs, ASF, but definitely has some sort of retardation (I'm not saying this in a bad way here). This house is about a 5 minute walk from where I work at a grocery store. So B frequents the store a lot and buys cigarettes there almost every day, and I would always say hi and all that. B knows that my mom works at his house.
So, about two or three months ago, another individual hit B with some keys on a lanyard and B started hitting my mother brutally in the face. After punching her repeatedly, she finally got away, managed to grab her phone and locked her self in the bathroom. B then started shoving newspapers and paper towels under the door and pouring bleach on it and the door. He has easy access to a lighter and could've/would've lit it. The only reason he didn't is because my mom called the cops and they just pulled up.
I hate him. I really do. Every time I see him my chest gets hot and I feel my adrenaline starting. Even writing this I'm a bit shaky. He still comes to the store. Almost every day I have to see his face and am reminded of what he did. I haven't said a single word to him and I haven't sold him a single item. If he comes to my line, I call someone else up and have them help him. I would ask my boss to van him from the store, but haven't because I'm afraid he'll take it out on my mom, who still works there (it's stupid I know, I've begged her to quit, my family has begged her to quit, but that's another story).
So, am I an asshole for hating him and refusing to sell him anything?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
ige0deh1ZJJc2nZ2tKMs6tcvUOeLsRit
|
a43jf9
|
{
"description": "not helping a stranger pick up all their change",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA for not helping a stranger pick up all their change?
|
I was standing outside today waiting to order food at a food truck. There was a woman in front of me who had just received her change from her order. She was attempting to put some coins she got back as change into a coin purse, but she fumbled with the purse and dropped it. This resulted in literally like a hundred coins spraying in all directions all over the pavement. I sort of shrugged and just walked around her and put my order in while she proceeded to scramble around picking up all her coins. When she finally finished she tapped me on the shoulder and said "you're a real asshole you know that?". I'm presuming she was upset that I didn't stop to help her, but am I the asshole here?
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 9
}
|
WRONG
|
eCU9fq3twlKgAisMX3agyE7GBUQ2oKzj
|
aq981w
|
{
"description": "not telling someone they are being cheated on",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not telling someone they are being cheated on?
|
Was at an NBA game recently. In front of me a couple was sitting. The woman kept getting texts from another man. She would keep her phone facing away from who I presume to be her husband (both wearing wedding rings). Some of the texts were pretty suggestive, one being something like "I really wish I could be with you right now." She would quickly delete the messages after sending them. This made me extremely uncomfortable. I immediately thought about saying something or at least warning the husband somehow about his wife's texts. I contemplated tapping him on the shoulder and whispering something toward the end of the game, I thought about writing a message on a piece of paper and slipping it to him when his wife wasn't looking, or even taking pictures of her screen while she was texting to have as proof. I mean I'd wan't a stranger to tell me if I was in his spot. But ultimately I chose to do nothing. At the time I rationalized it in my head that he would believe the word of his wife over that of a complete stranger. And I felt like it might be weird to be taking pictures of a woman's cell phone if somebody saw me do it.
I'm also almost 100% sure they were married to each other. They kissed once during the game and had two kids with them. The husband had his arm around her most of the game.
I keep having second thoughts about what I should have done, and I feel like a complete asshole for not doing at least something.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
CT06H6oKPA9T3OqY92Gfr7uuU8L0zYyX
|
adwdkn
|
{
"description": "letting my boyfriend's passport expire before our trip",
"pronormative_score": 199,
"contranormative_score": 111
}
|
AITA for letting my boyfriend's passport expire before our trip?
|
My boyfriend of over a year and I are going to an out of country destination for a week in March. I love him a lot but he can be juvenile and I find myself feeling at times likes a mother and child dynamic.
His passport has been expired since May 2018, and I have brought it up several times to get it renewed. We have even had a tiff or two over it. In November, we booked and paid for this trip. It cost about 1000$ each.
The deadline of him needing to have his passport sent off so he can get it back in time is approaching quickly. I guess I'm asking preemptively to this so I know if I'd be an asshole if I followed through with what I am currently intending on doing : I'm not going to say shit and let him deal with the consequences if he doesn't get it together on time. I'll have a lovely vacation on my own.
Be honest. Would that make me an asshole to knowingly let him miss out on our trip?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 90,
"OTHER": 192,
"EVERYBODY": 21,
"NOBODY": 7,
"INFO": 5
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 199,
"WRONG": 111
}
|
RIGHT
|
EskA7PVjq1uvCNmBng5vO3BHvtWHNg1V
|
aayaac
|
{
"description": "being annoyed that my friend always expects me to sit her dog for free",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being annoyed that my friend always expects me to sit her dog for free?
|
I dog sit as a secondary source of income, and have for about a year and a half now. While most of the people I sit for are strangers, I've watched a fair amount of coworker's/friend's dogs as well, and they have always offered to pay me for these services, even when it's only for a night or two.
This particular friend, we'll call her E, asks me to watch her dog somewhat frequently. I love her dog, and don't mind watching him too much, but I obviously still have to go out of my way to make sure I come home often enough to walk him, clean up after his messes (he has frequent accidents), etc. She has never so much as offered to pay me for watching him, apart from buying me a latte here or there as a thank you. From the very beginning--and we became friends after I had started dog sitting, so she knew that this is a service I typically charge for--she has just expected that I'll watch him for free. When it's just for a weekend or something, it's not the biggest deal. But she has, on many occasions, asked me to watch him for 5-10 days at a time, completely for free.
I agreed to watch him for her the last week in January, but the longer this goes on, the more pissed off I get. I know we're friends, but I often feel like she takes advantage of me in this way, and I'm tired of it. Not to mention, when I'm watching her dog, I'm potentially losing money from other clients because I can only watch one dog at a time.
AITA if I ask her to start paying me for this? I know I already agreed to January, so maybe I should suck it up and do that for free but then ask that in the future she pay me for it? I feel bad asking a friend for money, but I feel like she's using me past the point of a few friendly favors.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
bRr8f2mtPZm1WmeuCBaoVRikLG86ECV0
|
a2rg3j
|
{
"description": "not visiting my grandmother for 3 years",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not visiting my grandmother for 3 years
|
Apologies in advance for the long story.
Background: I'm 34. My grandmother is 91 and lives in a nursing home in a small city. The area where she lives isn't rural by any means, but it's not exactly accessible either. It's basically an all-day trip to get there (two flights), and when you arrive there's not really much to do given it's a small city. There's no meaningful public transportation, no Uber or Lyft, and what few cabs there are charge a fortune to take you anywhere. I don't know anyone there other than her.
She's actually doing pretty well for being 91, she's not bedridden or anything, but she basically just spends her days watching TV punctuated by going down to their dining room for meals. Her hearing isn't very good and she doesn't like wearing hearing aids, so conversations with her consist of you saying something and her responding to what she thinks you said, which usually doesn't like up with what you actually said. Make for a lot of awkward conversations. I think she's well-taken care of, the nursing home she's staying at actually sounds pretty nice. And other than her loss of hearing I think she's in generally good health.
She lives by herself, my grandfather died 5 years ago. After he died we tried to get her to move closer to family but she refused on the basis that her friends still lived in the city. But all her friends are dead now, so she lives by herself in this small, faraway town. The closest family is my uncle (her son) who is unemployed/on disability and lives 4 hours away. He rarely visits her despite having nothing going on in his life (his disability does not prevent him from traveling to visit her, and he has the means to do so).
I used to visit her every year, but I stopped 3 years ago. It's a long and expensive trip to just go sit around and watch TV for a couple days. The last time I went I had such a miserable time I felt resentment toward her for not taking our advice and moving closer to family when she was able to (she says she's too old to move now which is probably true). I had never felt that toward her before in my life. I decided then to take a break from visiting her, because I didn't want to resent her, and I didn't think she would want me to resent her. That was 3 years ago.
The way I see it, we all have to live with the choices we make in life, and she chose to live in a city that's far away from family, so we can't be expected to visit her that much.
I call her every single week without fail on Sunday evenings before she goes to dinner. Every week she asks me when I'm coming to visit and tells me she misses me and that she's not going to be around forever. Every week I tell her the same thing, which is that I'm definitely planning on it, which is a lie. Sometimes I cry after talking to her because I miss her to and I feel sad about the situation. I'm crying right now just from typing this.
But at the same time, whenever I think about visiting her, it stresses me out and makes me start feeling resentful toward her again.
Reddit: Am I the asshole for not visiting my grandmother?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
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|
WRONG
|
eYkuZCcAIbU8LlxK9NrGR6Foj0BZknL4
|
araqh9
|
{
"description": "expecting my boyfriend to stop being friends with a girl I can't stand",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for expecting my boyfriend to stop being friends with a girl I can’t stand?
|
Background info: all of us are 5th year medical students, 22-23 y/o, and my boyfriend and I have been dating for 1.5 yrs.
My bf and I have been experiencing problems bc I can’t stand his friendship with a certain girl in his group. I’ve known her since school, and she was a bully, and after we both got into med school and I was part of her circle for the first 2 yrs, she would make fun of me in front of other people, make plans with the group without me, and generally make me feel not welcomed. My friends knew what was going on, but no one ever took action.
After crying and feeling insecure, I abandoned that group of friends and made some new friends who treated me well.
Fast forward to the beginning of this year, when I learned that my boyfriend and her were both assigned to the same group, I was kind of annoyed, but I assumed that it would just be casual and that she’s not the kind of person my boyfriend would be friends with.
Eventually, the entire group got close and started having frequent lunches together, celebrating birthdays, a Christmas dinner, carpooling, doing night shifts... but my issue is not with the group, it’s this specific girl, not only because of all the things she did to me, but she was getting increasingly annoying; she playfully joked around with my boyfriend, did annoying shit to get his attention when we’re talking, and acted like a diva. After a while I just stopped caring about the way I acted.
My bf has been telling me that she’s changed and has become a nice person, and that she’s really nice to him. He wishes we were on better terms. We’ve had so many arguments about her, and I tell myself I’m going to tolerate it for his sake, because I want him to enjoy his time in uni and to have people that he can study with, & it would be awkward if he just cut her off for the rest of the year. However, it has really put a strain on our relationship, made me cry many times, and has been making it difficult for me to focus on my school work.
Because I don’t think she’s a changed person, he said that he would try to get her to open up about what she thinks of me, and if she doesn’t seem like she regrets what she did, he would end the friendship. So, last week, he asked her why we weren’t friends, and her response was “it’s not that I don’t like her, she doesn’t like me, I don’t like people who pretend to like me and then just suddenly start to ignore me”. This was it for me; not once did she mention the reason of why I wouldn’t like her, & made it sound like I was rude. We had an argument & my boyfriend asked if not being friends with her would solve our problem. I said yes.
Is it mean of me to expect my bf to end his friendship with someone because of my issues with her? I feel really bad about it, but I just can’t stand it anymore. I really love him, especially that he’s really nice to people, assumes the best in them, & would never be mean to someone who’s never done anything bad to him.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
TK658L9vsIv4BSSLUdjQKEdl07VmJ0kS
|
b4mg1p
|
{
"description": "refusing to cancel my plans",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for refusing to cancel my plans?
|
I have a co-worker at my workplace who I would consider to be friends with, we sometimes hang out after work or do stuff on the weekends. Usually when I try to make plans with him I always get the typical "sure, I don't have any plans yet but I can't if I am spontaneously going out" which in 80% of all cases means that he won't have time since he would rather hang out with other people (notifiying me half an hour before we were planned to meet), making me sort of feel like the second choice he has to do something with when all his other plans get cancelled.
I don't know how many times I was stood up waiting for him just to get a text half an hour before telling me that he won't come.
Today, he asked me if I wanted to go out to eat something, but I was already invited by my family for dinner. So I told him I can't come.
As a result to this, he got a bit mad and said that I should cancel since I can have dinner with my family any other day as well.
I refused, saying that they invited me weeks ago unlike him (2 hours before he wanted to go out) and if he wanted to reschedule.
It never got to the reschedule part since he was so mad at me for being so unspontaneous, that I did not get another answer.
I feel like it's just fair that I refuse to cancel my plans with my family, simply because his plans were cancelled and was spontaneously looking for something else to do.
Especially since he refuses to make set plans with me any time I ask.
So, AITA for refusing to cancel my plans to meet his schedule?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 11,
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}
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
dr1IQhrN9OhZ1GLBdIVOArJ9rPiM9LQ4
|
aenfx1
|
{
"description": "being the one that got away",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being the one that got away?
|
A while ago at the end of my senior year in highschool a few of my friends planned and invited me to participate in a senior prank at the school. Around 10,000 post-it notes were purchased and were to be applied on all surfaces within the main hallways of the school. So the fated night arrived. I invited my GF at the time as well. She brought a puppy she had just gotten. I let her know i thought it was silly to bring a puppy but hey everyone else there loved it and he was dubbed our crime mascot. The original plan included ~ 8 people. Word got out though and we ended up with closer to 20. The original team thought this was excellent and would speed the process along. We were wrong. All the extras set about executing their own pranks such as zip tying all the doors to the school closed, placing desks on the roof, and relocating the lunch tables to the parking lot. At this point I am feeling uneasy about all the rest off the pranks deviating from the original plan. The prank we chose was specifically non destructive and more of an annoyance. While the other things could potentially be damaging to school property. All the activity outside the school quickly drew attention and police were dispatched before much was post-it noted. One of my friends announces the police are arriving and i reply to them and my GF LETS GO and take off running. I finally find a door that wasn't Zip Tied and make it out behind the school and escape. I then realize I am alone. I make my way to my GFs house close by to see if she made it out another exit. After waiting ~20 minutes she shows up. No one else even tried running. The cops rounded them up gave them a stern lecture and sent them home.
So was i the asshole for being the only one that got away?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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RIGHT
|
SmoAcHW94jmZeGsDfoVQ8CILejzLzF8J
|
b0m0kg
| null |
AITA? My 8th grade bully
|
Years ago, in 8th grade, I was bullied every day in my history class by a kid who sat next to me. I’m 35 now and I still remember getting punched and verbally harassed when the teacher wasn’t looking. I was a scrawny kid and he was much bigger than me (I think he may have stayed back a year or two). I went to the princi”pal” and tried to get moved to another class. This was years ago when nobody cared about bullying so they said no and I had to just sit there and get abused physically and emotionally.
Recently I learned that he he died a few months ago of a drug overdose. The first thing I thought was, karma’s a bitch. A few of my friends talked about how it is so sad. I am not sad at all. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 23,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
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}
|
OTHER
|
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"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
5Cz1QcTR8xvjvnNQ3CavdG1tucEoRYUW
|
aw7w6g
| null |
AITA: For the way I ordered at a Mexican restaurant.
|
Throwaway
Background: Born in SoCal, moved to a North Eastern state a year or so ago. I have avoided having Mexican food until now, because I’ve had it all my life and wanted something new.
Story:
I was with two friends, we were going to go get lunch and someone suggested Mexican. I thought “Why the Hell not?”. Anyway so we get there and it’s like a Subway for Mexican for. They have a pretty limited menu. So my turn goes up and I tried to get something safe, bean and cheese burrito. They had burrito on the board but not what types. So I asked if they had refried beans, she said it’s on the dinner menu which starts later. She kindly found some and reheated them for me. After that this convo happened.
HelpfulFish: Me
Worker: W
W: Do you want anything else?
Me: Yeah, do you have carne asada?
W: What?
Me: Carne asada.
W: Uh, no.
Me: Mmm, okay I’ll have chicken instead.
So that was the extent of our conversation. Afterwards my friends had said it was a dick/asshole thing to do to ask for things off the menu. I don’t know if what I did was an asshole thing. Was it?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
2RpTWqR4DwhzvGvxf3Okfk62o3cQfR5E
|
a8zsk5
|
{
"description": "not going to Christmas",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not going to Christmas
|
My mom and I have not been getting along the past year and a half. She was a really shitty mom but got a little better over the years.
Last year we had a big falling out because she talks so much shit about everyone and I ended up hearing all the shit she talks about me. We havent seen each other much since then but have talked and it has been going good.
So my ex boyfriend and I had a really big fight on Friday and I ended up telling her about it. Right now we are currently broken up, but have talked but not made up and he hasnt come home since Friday night. I told her about it thinking for some reason she wouldnt tell anyone. She ended up telling her bf, my aunt, and one of my brothers that I know for sure. Probably my other brother and who ever else she talks to.
Well I learned my lesson as yesterday I went over to my aunts and was going to tell her a story about Friday, but not about the fight. I started the story by saying me and EX did this activity on Friday and she said I already heard. My story wasnt about the fight but she must have thought I was going to say that. So I was annoyed last night after leaving. I left it be. Today I text my mom and say so who did you tell about my and EXs fight? She says "just your brother". I said "aunt knows to does older brother know" she said "aunts nosey, probably not brother he hasnt said anything" long story short I said "i told you that thinking you werent going to tell everyone" she says "i am done with this conversation" so i said im not going to Christmas. And Ill just have her bf drop them off when he goes.
She said thats fine she isnt doing Christmas anyways and that my aunt was. I said good good. She said keep the gifts. I said alrighty bye.
I will be sending the gifts because the gifts were for my cousins and aunt and brothers and grandma and I want them to have them. They did nothing to me. She wont be there actual Christmas day so I am maybe going over there then and seeing my grandma who is in bad shape. I texted aunt and let her know i wasnt going. She asked why i just said because of my mom but didnt go into detail. I also told my older brother who is coming up from 3 hours away and told him the same thing, said i didnt want to discuss the fight any further. He said "life is to short for you and mom to be petty. You only get 50 Christmas celebtrations and your wasting them." Then something about me and her being childish.
Am I the asshole? I should not have told her but I was really upset and wanted someone to talk to. Im just so annoyed my mom and I cant talk about anything or it gets spread throughout my entire family.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
JKdDmO47mZ4qEfUHadzsWN87XZk7S4R6
|
ay093h
|
{
"description": "the wanting to find someone near me after she wanted to cheat on me",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for the wanting to find someone near me after she wanted to cheat on me
|
(This happened about a month ago and I’m on mobile so go easy with the spelling errors)
I dated this girl right? It was a long distance relationship for the first 2 weeks everything was going well but I noticed my grades started to slip. What I did was I took 2 days **2days** just to focus on my academics. My ex on the other hand didn’t like this so she kept texting me saying “you don’t love me any more” etc. So she wouldn’t freak out I started to talk to her and focus on my academics but that means I’d call her less. Eventually her friend texted me saying something like “she’s talking to her ex and planning to get back together.” At this point I felt betrayed so I confronted her with the information I was given. I broke up with her and told her “…I need to focus on my life because it’s slipping and if I want to date someone it’s going to be in (home town)!” So she called me selfish saying I can’t dump people for personal use (reminding: she was planning to cheat on me) currently spending my 1 month with out her #YAYY🥳🥳🎉🎉
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 4,
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|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
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}
|
RIGHT
|
UP6hJzdNKa3OKTs9Y1xyCClAt1ZCH7Tc
|
b5jlou
|
{
"description": "telling my dad that I don't approve of his new girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 20,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA For Telling My Dad That I Don’t Approve Of His New Girlfriend?
|
The title sounds bad but I do believe I was in the right for saying so.
So, my dad has been dating this woman that he met at a massage parlor (she is a massage therapist there) and she has been throwing red flags left and right. And they’ve only been dating for two weeks.
Red flag #1: She told him that he is not allowed to speak to his ex wife anymore (my mom) because she is jealous and sees her as a threat. My mom remarried and would never threaten their relationship. Plus my father and mother have two children together and also have 7+ grandchildren together, so naturally they talk from time to time.
Red flag #2: She limits the kind of food that my dad can eat at restaurants and at home. Now, my dad isn’t a huge guy. He is about 20 lbs overweight but overall eats very healthy and exercises regularly but he sometimes likes to treat himself to something like a cheeseburger or a couple slices of pizza. She put an end to that.
Red flag #3: She told him that he needs to clean the entire house. Again, this seemed unnecessary since the house is clean with the exception of a few dishes in the sink and clothes on his bedroom floor. She spent the entire day laying in his bed while he steam cleaned the carpet in every room of the house and made everything shine.
Red flag #4: This is where I put my foot down and finally spoke up. My dad came downstairs and informed me that one of our older cats will now have to live her life inside of his bedroom closet because his girlfriend thinks that would be best to keep the house clean since our cat occasionally has accidents on the carpet.
I flat out told him that she’s a bitch for suggesting that and implementing so many rules within their first month of dating. My dad obviously took great offense to that because he basically worships the ground that she walks on. We aren’t on speaking terms now.
Was I the A-hole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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}
|
RIGHT
|
E5qftii7hckn7JJG2X1LJQra6aX0QPwL
|
alc4bq
| null |
AITA My mother feels like an asshole when it comes to babysitting my niece.
|
This is more about my mother than me. So about a month or 2 ago my sister broke up with her boyfriend, she has a 2 year old daughter (hes not the father but that doesn't really matter at this point) my mother has a full time 5 day a week job like most people, she is currently VERY stressed with work because she is basically in charge of a group of 50 year old children, being undermined by her boss who has recently been off sick for months, she comes home every day with a new story about how someone is refusing to do work for a very petty reason or her boss has done something to completely undermine her such as getting a new fork lift no one is trained to use then just pissing off when she asks him why he done that when he knows no one is trained on it.
Now that my sister is single she leans on my mother for pretty much all the babysitting duties, she has only recently got a child minder for when she works during the week, weekends how ever she always seems to work no matter how many times my mother explains she works 5 days a week and doesn't want to essentially work 7 days a week, she isn't getting to do granny stuff with my niece, she's essentially a part time baby sitter for my sister every week and isn't getting paid for it, my mother gave my sister the VERY expensive car seat she got for herself (btw why are they so expensive anyway) so cant take her anywhere to do any fun shit, they are stuck in the house all weekend until my sister gets back from work.
At this point you may be wondering why cant my mother buy a new car seat or buggy/stroller and do some fun shit with my niece so they can both enjoy their time together, well my sister owes her over £5000, recently my mother had to pay £750 to get my sisters car fixed then she ended up needing to get a new fucking car anyway. most of my sister debt to my mother comes from when she had just found out she was pregnant and decided to move into her own flat, then my sister seemed to think that as a soon to be single parent she needed EVERYTHING in the flat to be brand fucking new and of course she couldn't afford that so she convinced my mother to get most of the furniture in the place.
So basically my single parent sister is stressing my mother to the max with insisting she babysits on the weekends and owes her over £5000 and has yet to pay a penny of that back all while my other works a very stressful job 5 days a week, when ever my mother talks to her co workers that she is friendly about this they all think my sister is a piss taker and is basically a selfish bastard, when ever my mother mentions that one day she wont be able to babysit my sister gets all pissy and falls out with my mother which makes her feel incredibly guilty when she is just trying to do what is right for her self especially when my sister can change her days she works and can easily get a different job in her field, she is currently a care worker and claims she cant find another job, yet when ever me or my mother go on indeed and simply look up care home/care worker we find dozens upon dozens of jobs. Basically i think my sister is being very selfish and is just refusing to find a new job so she can dump baby sitting duties on my mother but you all tell me what you think, is my mother being an asshole or are me and her co workers right when we say she should not feel guilty because it seems like my sis is using and making my mother feel guilty just so she can get a free baby sitter.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
ttRqPywCEwkVz8KjJoC010MPDtIew88R
|
aeynen
|
{
"description": "not telling my friend that he was being scammed",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not telling my friend that he was being scammed?
|
Some background info. My friend Mark and I are close friends and met in high school, we smoke weed together frequently and buy off of another friend of mine named Tommy. Tommy and I were friends already before I met Mark but we both trusted him. So about 3 weeks ago, Tommy sells Mark 10 Grams for $100 when 10Gs is supposed to be $70. Tommy told me as a friend not to tell Mark because its a scam. Fast forward to about an hour ago and Mark is asking me if it were true that Tommy scammed him for the pack, I tried to lie in a panic, but ended up fessing about 10 seconds later and told him the truth. Am I the Asshole for not telling Mark sooner?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
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}
|
WRONG
|
d0sejXXDLGKnQEj9vpUbu7G3WtqmS6fj
|
avn607
|
{
"description": "excluding my sister in my personal life",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA if I (19F) exclude my Sister in my personal life (23F) ?
|
Hey there!
So some backstory about my sister’s and I relationship
-We used to be super close when she was studying abroad and had a BF at the time, she constantly called me and came to me for advice/rant about her BF. After she came back, they had a nasty break up where he cheated on her while being in an LDR (and she was caught snooping in his emails/socials)
- I’m currently in a 6 month relationship with a wonderful guy and we’re going to do LDR in 5 months so we try to spend time with each other as much as possible now, but due to circumstances I only see him on weekends and sometimes not even at all. I do prioritise my time well and I do not neglect my friends/family when I’m with him.
- my Sister has grown increasingly negative about my relationship and keeps saying how LDR wouldn’t work out, and I’ve noticed her picking fights with me over my relationship for unfair reasons (eg calling me cheap for staying a night over at my bfs house when she flew for a month to see her bf specifically, saying I prioritise my Bf over her when I spend 5 days a week with her and just 1 with him) she’s been very negative and this in turn affects my relationship in very unnecessary ways as I get upset and my Bf has to console me due to her childishness.
- we do have a dynamic where she’s very assertive and I’m always giving in, but recently I’ve been sticking up for myself and we’ve been having arguments when I do. it really is tiring as I realised all the things we argued on was unnecessary
- She constantly asks me for updates in my love life and then the next moment shames me for it. She’ll tell me to spend time with my Bf and if I do, she’ll say that I’m neglecting her. She would encourage me on LDR and then discourage me after. She often hinders my plans or makes me feel bad for making them and this leads to me hiding things from her. She judges me for things yet is completely hypocritical etcetera. It’s very upsetting as there’s nothing I want more for us to be good again but now I rather exclude her from my personal life if she continues being so frustrating - things were never this complicated when she was overseas and now she nitpicks on everything
My question is: AITA if i start excluding her from personal details of my life? She constantly talks down to me like she wants to control my life. I’ve started to do it as I realised my actions aren’t accountable to her, (be it my love life or aspirations) since it always ends in her saying I’m wrong and she’s right in a matter that’s my own personal life. When I refuse to tell her my plans (eg she asks about if my Bf and I have discussed LDR properly and instead of telling her I just say “nothings certain yet & I don’t really wanna discuss such a private matter w u when it concerns me and my BF”) she’ll react negatively, blows up and says I’m snappy & ungrateful to her advice (it’s not even good advice). ITS SO ANNOYING.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
5mXE84cmwhC9UTabvNfYHb2NLHLuMXMV
|
at6t1b
|
{
"description": "telling a friend to sell our tickets",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For Telling a Friend to Sell Our Tickets?
|
So this story starts about a year ago. For clarity, we’ll refer to everyone as Andy (me), April (my SO), Leslie and Tammy. We all planned a trip to see a band we all like, which would have been about a 7 hour road trip. Leslie bought the tickets, and did not make us pay service fees (we’ve all done this before, we never make each other pay service charges).
Before the trip, Tammy started having anxieties about the whole thing. She started fights, would ignore us for days/weeks, and was weirdly passive-aggressive about where we stayed, when we would get on the road, or what we planned to do while there. The show was in Boston, and we planned to leave Friday and get home late Sunday. We only had the weekend to do stuff, so we tried to fit in things we all wanted to do, but Tammy had a long (at least week’s worth) list of things she wanted to do, on top of the concert.
Just before we were supposed to leave, Tammy bought us tickets to the date of the tour in our hometown that the band had just added. She told us we all owed her the ticket charge + \~$25 for service charges. We told her we would pay her back after the trip when we could, which we thought was fine considering Tammy had not paid Leslie back until the day before the concert.
Tammy refused to drive, blamed her pre-trip frustrations and anger on boy troubles, and then when we got there was MISERABLE the whole time. We went out of our way to do things she wanted (even walking the Freedom Trail in the New England downpour) and tried our best to make the trip worth it. When I asked if anyone had money to tip the maid, she yelled at me that she didn’t have any money after spending $400 on tickets for us for the second date. She also complained about where we decided to stay (an AirBnB) then when it fell through and we needed to get a hotel, said she “told us” that we should have gotten a hotel in the first place (she never met up with us for booking).
The final straw came in Salem. We (minus Tammy) wanted to go since it was the weekend before Halloween. She complained that we “only cared about Halloween” and she “wanted to see Historical things” - this was outside the Salem Town Hall. Despite this, she dropped $200 on souvenirs, and we drove home in near-silence.
After it all, she refused to pay Leslie (who had eaten the extra cost for the hotel) for the parking, and told her she didn’t want her in her life anymore. She then told her she “knew” April and I would never pay her back. We all tried to reason with her (she’s often a lot of drama, but we always try to be supportive and steer her to better paths) and she blocked us all on social media and subtweeted about cutting “toxic people” out of her life. We told her to sell our tickets, and she told us we were basically fucking her over.
TL;DR: A friend was miserable and mean to us on a trip with her, we told her we no longer wanted to go to a concert with her, she called us toxic. AWTA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
gei1KpiryAELUQqk0hw75DL4o0N4L3SH
|
b1xhwu
|
{
"description": "charging at a kid after he had bullied me for a long time",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for charging at a kid after he had bullied me for a long time?
|
So a couple of years ago there was a kid in my class who bullied my calling my a Fa\*\*ot nonathletic etc.. So one day, we were playing soccer at recess and I tried to score a goal and I just missed. He was then really made at me and called as slow as molasses and other hurtful things. This was the last straw for me I charged at him, I think my intent was to swerve away from him at the last moment, and not do anything, but he then put me in a headlock and we both got detention. This was the only detention I have ever gotten, and I have mixed feelings about it.
So, you decide, AITA
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
jQRiSAGE0oDER0J6YWuotaz5DuBAtLr7
|
a2wg1t
|
{
"description": "getting upset with the members in my group for a massive project",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting upset with the members in my group for a massive project
|
I could go on forever about this topic, but to cut it short...
I'm in a program through my college that allows the students to design projects (business cards/logos/magazines/annual reports/flyers/booklets/pamphlets/anything graphic design based) for local business in the area.
Most of these business are new startups, and come to us due to our good reputation and great work. So a couple months ago, we got a really big client. I mean, like a project that would bring a normal design agency thousands upon thousands of dollars. This was a big project - so, to combat this, we were paired into groups.
My group was pretty decent, although, there are always going to be issues with getting paired into groups for a large project... I'm definitely one to get everything done right away and then continuously work out the kinks along the way and afterwards. Basically, if you do your work, I'd be willing to re-work it to fit the criteria... which is basically what I did for this entire project. 28 pages in total, all needing to follow very specific guidelines for the company.
Now... we sent it to the company and they LOVED IT. However, when they gave us some edits and changes they would like to see (three pages of notes, mind you), I was very upset to see that my group members downright refused to have a part in making those changes. Even going as far to make statements claiming "well, *my name* already has all of the collective files, so he can just make the edits." HOW ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING OF A MINDSET. This is a massive client, and this work is absolutely astonishing for them to come to us with...
Now, the asshole-ish part hasn't really started yet. It wasn't until I messaged them asking for help on the edits that it started to get ugly. I sent a message to the entire group, and only two people responded back. We had only three more days to do the edits. There were two major edits that needed to be done; I had finished the rest. I sent a list and the pages to the rest of the group members, and informed them that there are only these TWO things that had to be done yet... two people completely ignored the messages for those three days, claiming they had no idea what I was talking about (although they had responded in the group message prior to this incident), one person responded and said they would try on the smaller of the two pieces, but quickly tried to back out, and the other person claimed that they didn't feel it needed any edits.
First and foremost, these edits are not optional. This is a massive client TELLING us that these were changes that needed to be done. It is a done deal... got it? Well, apparently she didn't. She refused and made up excuses as to not do it. Her biggest excuse was that she was trying to sleep; the downside, was that she had three days to do the single page edit, and it was 6 p.m. at the time she had sent that message.
So finally, I got upset cause it was the last day to get the edits done, and I still hadn't heard word of either of the two changes being made... so I sent a message saying that if it didn't get done I wouldn't be taking any responsibility and that the uploads for the entire book would be in the hands of the other group members. I told them that I was upset with the lack of cooperation between the people, and that I would have rather done it solo had it been a client who would be paying us directly. The following morning, I got both of the finished pieces back via email, but they were both obviously rushed and lacking details that were specified in the guidelines. Along with that, I received a message from the female student who wanted to just sleep, that I was rude and condescending and that I don't deserve any respect.
So here lies the issue... am **I** the asshole for being upset with my group? I worked my ass off on this project and brought everything together to make sure that the client loved it... and I only lost respect from the fellow group members who did NOTHING.
tl;dr - Client asked for a large project from my college graphic design class. Was grouped up with people who refused to do anything. I told them I was disgusted with their work ethic and, in turn, received half-assed work and a message saying I was rude.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
8WvAvcho5Cz4QUvolsRci9GR1wus0ZJ7
|
abqtra
|
{
"description": "leaving my 18 year old diabetic bro at home",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for leaving my 18 year old diabetic bro at home?
|
So sorry if this doesn't make much sense but I'm currently crying as I type this. My mom came home and we got into an argument as I had informed her prior I would be out on new years evening for a party. Well my ride there consumed alcohol that I didn't even notice until texting my friends prior to making this post and as it was nearly 4 in the morning and no one else had a car I ended up staying over and texted my mom that this event was unforseen by me.
During the duration of the party I kept texting her to let her know I was alive as I couldn't call her due to a cold that stripped me of my voice.
So I get home and she goes off on me for leaving my diabetic 18 year old brother at home and for not asking the person who drove me what their plans were, even though I didn't realize they planned on consuming alcohol and when it reached 4 they just announced they were going to bed and the only other person that reasonably had a car left hours earlier due to having work the next day.
For some background info, my bro got diagnosed as diabetic 2 weeks ago, roughly, but it's merely symptoms of diabetes due to a pancreatic infection as the doctors put it. Still they have to treat my brother as if he has diabetes (this includes insulin shots, portion control, pills, etc). My brother is insanely capable of administering g and doing these things himself without my supervision. But my mother seems to believe that he can't and thought about pulling him from high school for some period of time because she was concerned he can't do those things by himself.
Essentially she said that I was in the wrong and chalked up everything to me having a cushy life since she could simply pay my tuition and be done with me. I lashed out and dropped some emotional baggage as a result and made her more mad and said I was further in the wrong for not coming home on time, finding a ride home, or asking my ride (who also hosted the party at their place) what they were planning on doing. So AITA here or did I overreact?
(I'm 21 and in the US, if that helps. I'm only at home for the holidays.)
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
cKoIUlkWhfDNDoqPYtGzsuZQTj8615gI
|
ag99ck
|
{
"description": "talking about something my friend didn't want to talk about",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for talking about something my friend didn't want to talk about?
|
So basically
My friend A is transferring from online school to normal school.
she's been at the school before but did online for a year.
she wanted to call for her last day without school.
So we called..
We were laughing the whole time.
It was a good conversation, I'd say.
Near the end she had to brb in the middle of something i was telling her about (which we were laughing at, so I just wanted to get to the funny part so we can laugh more) and I waited about 10-15 minutes.
She came back saying she had to sleep soon.
It was 9:57pm
I suggested we call for 3 more minutes.
So she said ok and I continued telling her about what had been interrupted previously.
Not even 4 words in and she says she's going to go to bed and that she wanted to end the conversation differently.
Then she hung up abruptly.
I messaged her about it and told her we should call again and make up for it, yet again, I was still confused as to why she was upset.
She went on about how I'm inconsiderate and should've known that she didn't want to keep the conversation going about the topic.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
INFO
|
{
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"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
nEhQCETEfw5pVTHhtbfeH9wCFhuODmHB
|
b7mvh3
|
{
"description": "getting my ex manager in trouble",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for getting my ex manager in trouble?
|
Two years ago, my grandfather passed away. I was working in marketing departmen at this small branch office of a huge company that sold soil fertilizers at the time. I could not attend the funeral since it was what we call busy month. But I promised my upset Dad that I would take a week off and visit grandpa's grave the following month.
My general manager was a tiny man with some bad tempers so I submitted my leave request when he was in a good mood. But he refused my 7 days off request and trimmed it to 4 days only. (Take it or leave it he said). I tried talking to the human resources about it since my grandpa was buried in a remote village and it would take me 48 hours to get there by bus from the nearest airport. But my manager would not approve it.
So I flew back home and found out there had been a fight in my family concerning the inheritance which included a house and acres of land. I needed to stay there until the problem was solved. So I called the company's human resources to ask if it's possible to get more days off at least until I was not needed to sign some papers regarding grandpa's inheritance.
The company told me it was not possible. There were only 2 options left for me. To fly back to work or to quit the job. I chose the latter since I loved my family and wanted to set things right among us.
But apparently the company acquired me to go through a one month notice procedure before my last day. This was not written down on the contract though. If I didn't do it, then they would not give me my last salary, bonuses and others included. This upset me since I had worked my ass off for them taking long hours into the night. And as far as this resignation procedure went at the company, nobody else had ever been forced to go through the one month procedure before. It was as if they were trying to get me in trouble or something. But since I did not want to complicate the matter because I was still focusing on my family problem as well, I opted to let it go, though still bitter about it. It was a lot of money to let go after all.
A few weeks later, one of the company's clients contacted me (not knowing I had quit) regarding some products that had arrived in bad conditions, broken and dented. The truth is, in a rush to sell them the company did not bother at all to check which products were still in good condition to send.
Because they needed to replace all the old ones left in the store room ASAP, which was one of the reasons why my manager wanted me to come back soon in the first place.
The manager was well aware of it but one of my colleagues had told me he had overheard him saying 'The shipment is to blame. Just get rid of those craps'.
In a rush of vengeance, I told the client about it. I've heard the manager has been suspended and the client has sued him and the company for it. Now that my family's problem has subsided, I feel a little pang of guilt for getting him in trouble though. AITA here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
vxZoY0syMtP9ZTSKPxLZt8UJd4CkF1dR
|
a9uzm2
|
{
"description": "refusing the request of my best friend to stop texting his ex",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for refusing the request of my best friend to stop texting his ex?
|
This all started when my first gf ever broke up with me, this of course left me in a state of severe depression for several weeks, so my best friend seeing me like this, invites me to a party so he wouldn't go alone.
He convinced me to go and there I met some really cool people and in particular I met the girl who had invited him to the party in first place and we kicked it off from the start, dancing and singing to every song and at the end we exchanged numbers so everything was going well for me until my best friend (I'm gonna call him bestie from here on out) tells me he's had her eye on her from a year ago so I backed off and started talking just as friends with this girl.
Couple of months pass, and bestie tells me he needed help with how he was going to ask her to be his gf so I helped him get everything he needed, set up the place and make sure everything went smoothly. During this time I've made a place in this girl's heart and became really close with her but keeping boundaries for I thought my bestie was right for her.
So everything went well with their relationship, until they started fighting for everything and I cannot stress this enough, EVERYTHING was a good reason to fight, and me being in the middle of the trouble I had to help bestie and his gf get everything back to normal so I helped her whenever she cried for him and encouraged him to write back, this went on and the relationship was getting nowhere, she was crying almost every day and it broke my heart and he was starting to see other people even though they were still on a relationship, so she found out sooner than later and broke up with him.
This was for the better since I haven't seen her this happy in months, we text everyday and I encourage her to go out and experience more, to be happy with other people, but this makes my bestie mad since it's not in the "Bro's Code" to talk to your best friend's ex, and we've had very bad arguments during this past week for this very subject. So AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
dSjQaVzodX6cIBxCeTkJM5UYo9dyYWSL
|
b5yp50
|
{
"description": "buying an expired domain",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 13
}
|
AITA for buying an expired domain?
|
A previous employer wrongfully terminated me after years of working there, for something I never did. Rather than believing me and other witnesses, I was fired.
This employer accidentally let their domain expire recently. I would love to outbid them by one dollar and have them just pay me that amount in exchange for the domain to be returned to them.
I know I should be the bigger person and forgive/forget, but it is at least a very tempting fantasy of vengeance for having a wholly undeserved black mark on my resume.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 10,
"OTHER": 17,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 17,
"WRONG": 13
}
|
RIGHT
|
aBNWowAXBmloaulFqsGx7oFBxtje0tbL
|
9y0p6b
|
{
"description": "giving people cigarettes",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For Giving People Cigarettes
|
I smoke occasionally, usually while drunk.
Whenever someone asks to "buy" a smoke, I give them one instead. I do it because I don't feel inclined to take money from people for something I felt guilty for waking up with.
In pure good points terms AITA? I am helping someone hurt themself, but don't know if it's a bad thing to do or not.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
MLNFFDr3qIyGaysHcn4qwHy0jyXWK30e
|
aqzsl0
|
{
"description": "trying to make a point in an arguement between my mom and sister-in-law",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for trying to make a point in an arguement between my mom and sister-in-law?
|
Okay so kind of a long story, but I'll make it as short as possible.
Okay so my brother and his sister in law are living with me, and my mother for now until they get back on their feet. They have 3 kids and one on the way.
Anyway my youngest nephew, who's not even 3 yet, started running a fever. It consisted for a few days and finally on the 4th day of him not getting better my mother finally made a comment that she needed to take him to the doctor. I guess my SIL got him together and took him to the ER and came back with a major attitude. Finally she started going OFF on my mom that she's been talking down to her and treating her like a bad parent and this and that, which my mom doesn't at all. She defends my SIL most of the time.
She kept making comments that she shouldn't of taken her child to the doctor because: "I'm his mom, i know this!" And acting all high and mighty.
Anyway, some intel; When i was 11 or so I broke down with a major headache. It felt like someone was literally beating my head with a hammer and i distinctively remember my mom scoffing about it, saying it was a migraine. She knew it was a migraine. It wasn't until my dad forced her to go to the ER with me that she did. I remember my mom even sitting in the waiting room with me while i threw up blood and bile, saying that it was stupid and it was just a Migraine.
Well moral of the story is that it turned out I had an AVM which is a rare thing that would of killed me that night.
Anyway i thought about this story and calmly went into the living room and said; "Hey I have a story" and both my brother and SIL started going off on me that I don't know shit and to stay out of it, and just being insanely aggressive towards me for even opening my mouth.
So; Am I the Asshole?? Maybe i am.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
7jARfBPqnmZrt7uaFcCcWescVOremoON
|
apilub
|
{
"description": "getting mad when my husband drinks my alcohol",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for getting mad when my husband drinks my alcohol?
|
We've both cut back on booze for health and finances. We had none in our house and decided to make an exception for a night in with a friend.
I went to the store and bought, per my husband's request, a 6 pack of our friend's favorite domestic beer and a 6 pack of mixed IPAs with a couple specific brands. I'm not a fan of beer, especially IPAs, so I bought a 6 coolers for myself.
After a few hours and drinks later (me: 2, him: 3ish), I enter the kitchen and see him with a cooler, half-gone, in hand. I got mad and we argued.
His reasoning is that, as a couple that shares everything else, gettong mad at this was petty, and he thought I wouldn't mind because I can't drink all 6 in one night anyway. My reasoning is that I specifically bought that flavor and quantity for me to enjoy; I wanted the leftovers for tomorrow night. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
WRONG
|
sJR7INI2Y0zhuk1XqbzoUnLoTHe83MDQ
|
ae65bf
|
{
"description": "returning someones Christmas gift",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for returning someones Christmas gift.
|
Now I know how you're expecting this to go, but I promise you it's not what you expect.
So I have a mate who I used to do everything with, we'd hang out every other night to play games and try new restaraunts etc. But maybe 2 or 3 years ago he got girlfriend who has a LOT of health issues and a daughter of her own, so his free time decreased exponentially, which is understandable, so we don't see each other near as much but I still consider him a friend.
Now throughout these past few years he has missed several special occasions I have invited him too and occasionally leaves me on seen when I invite him out. We've basically become pretty distant over this, and I'll admit I'm a little bitter.
So with the lore out of the way onto the meat and potatoes. I got him a fairly nice christmas gift since I managed to find something that would be perfect for him. I knew he wouldn't be in a position to get me anything, but this was too perfect to pass up. I have made several attempts to drop it off at his place, but every time he doesn't get back to me until it's too late. I've told him he can come get it but he hasn't. Now a few days ago I asked if I could drop it off (again) and didn't get a response until much later that night where he told me "just drop it off with (his girlfriend), she can give it to me."
Now for some reason this REALLY irritated me. And I fully acknowledge what I did was petty, but I brought the gift back to the store, returned it and picked up something much much smaller.
Now I can say the odds are 10 to 1 that I AM the asshole but I want to be sure.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
IUjUW4YX6M8KTnqZKggVHao6R4iMIREB
|
b7yls7
|
{
"description": "not wanting my roommate's bf in our dorm as I shower",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting my roommate's bf in our dorm as I shower?
|
Throwaway bc some people in my dorm know my main acct. Formatting may be weird bc I'm on mobile.
For some background, I live in a fairly large dorm room. However, our actual shower/toilet area is very small. So, my roommate and I decided to get one of those extendable rod things to place in the door way of our sink area to create a kind of makeshift dressing room so we don't have to struggle to put on our underwear in our tiny bathroom. Oh, and we're both female.
My roommate recently started dating this guy, and he's in our dorm pretty much 24/7. I'm rarely in my dorm during the day so I don't care too much. He sometimes sleeps over in her bed, and again, I don't really care either way.
The only thing I ask of my roommate is that if Im showering, I prefer him to not be in our room, just because Im a fairly private person and don't feel comfortable being naked with what's basically a stranger in my room.
To her credit, she followed this for a few days, but after a while, I would come out the shower and I would notice that he had entered the room while I was showering. I approached her about it and reminded her of how I felt, and she kind of blew up at me, saying that he wasn't some perv and wasn't trying to see me naked.
I was taken aback, since me and my roommate have never really argued over anything, and I didn't think that what I asked was that unreasonable.
So, AITA for not wanting a guy that I don't really know be in the room as I shower?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
N4nxIvhjn8q1bdTtoOSBU0cpvk8bdF76
|
anqake
|
{
"description": "not liking my girlfriend's makeover and telling her she looked bad",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for not liking my girlfriend's makeover and telling her she looked bad?
|
Hey guys I just want to know whether I overstepped my boundary a bit.
Me and my gf(both mid 20'sF ) have been dating for 3 years. Recently she got a makeover as a surprise to me for our anniversary. She always knew that I had a thing for septum rings.
So she gets her septum pierced and cut off all her hair. Honestly I don't know what she wanted but she ended up getting a bowl cut which looks funny on her and her septum wasn't impressive either.
I didn't respond and told her she looked good. At night she initiates sex and I'm not too excited. She keeps pestering me and asking me if it was her makeover and I eventually replied yes. I told her that it looks like a bowl cut and her septum doesn't look good either. She broke down crying telling me that she did all this for me( I never insisted on anything FYI) and she's disappointed that I didn't appreciate it.
I feel like shit but AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 9,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 17,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
KpEXIx9gHTuawXRXE7xiGle1GWe4PWYs
|
b4dd7y
| null |
AITA Encounter with Cashier at Gas Station
|
I come in with my girlfriend and grab some stuff. I walk up to the busy counter. Two open registers, both with customers at them. There was a dude in a white shirt just sorta waiting before us in the now cluster that is the line. But he walks off and starts shopping again. Leaving me and my girlfriend alone waiting.
Then a different dude and his girl come up and just sorta stood next to us. So once again we are in a cluster.
Now this next part happens sort of all at once:
One customer is done at a register leaving one open, that cashier turns around and appears to stock something, man in white shirt comes back and stands NEXT to the new guy and his girl.
We are now in a parallel line to the counter. All just standing awkwardly.
Now at this point I assumed we were first. Right?
Now, I have social anxiety so I even still waited to see if someone else wanted to go first. None of us moved so we just went ahead. You know, get this ball called "life" rolling.
As we walk up the cashier gives us a smug look.
She says I shit you not.
"I think you cut some people, that was rude"
I said "uh, no I think that's a misconception".
I turn to the other guy and his girl. I asked him if he was standing there longer than me and he laughed and said no. (at this point the man with the white shirt moved to check out at the now second open register)
The cashier said she was referring to the dude with a white shirt. Which I then said (which I regret kinda)
"He was standing here, but he went and grabbed some other shit while you were busy with someone else"
She smirked and said nothing. Shoved the receipt in the bag. Everyone knows what's going on. Even the dude in the white shirt. I stand there and my girl grabs the bag and tells the cashier to have a fantastic day.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
e57JkWiLd4BWzWemC8Gi0Izof2OWwHkP
|
b18gsq
|
{
"description": "getting mad at my mom for not cooking dinner",
"pronormative_score": 35,
"contranormative_score": 191
}
|
AITA for getting mad at my mom for not cooking dinner?
|
Okay, the title makes me sound like a brat but here's the thing: I can't cook. My mom never taught me and she never trusted me to teach myself. I'm 17 goddamn years old and i can't cook anything other than ramen noodles, chicken nuggets, and mac and cheese on a good day. Can't make a grilled cheese or Hamburger Helper or any of that fancy shit.
I was at school working on prom decorations until 7:00 and got home expecting to see dinner on the table. Instead, my mom and I had this lovely conversation:
Me: Hey, what's for supper?
Mom: Whatever you can find.
Me: So, nothing?
Mom: There's plenty of stuff for you to cook with, get creative.
Me: I can't cook, you never taught me how.
Mom: You're 17, you can figure it out.
Me: No, I can't. I barely know how to use the stove.
Mom: Your sister (14) made her own dinner.
Me: You actually taught her how to cook. Can you at least drive me to the store so I can buy something I CAN cook? (I can't drive either, she doesn't trust me behind the wheel, surprise surpise)
Mom: No, I'm not buying you food when we already have lots
This argument keeps going around until I get fed up and go to my room. That was an hour ago and I'm super hungry. Detailed instructions on how to make a grilled cheese are welcome.
But anyways, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 154,
"OTHER": 32,
"EVERYBODY": 37,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 4
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 35,
"WRONG": 191
}
|
WRONG
|
S9ncG9N3hvByPtLWgzIs9hfrXtpwpv1h
|
b7ig0i
|
{
"description": "being incredibly upset that my partner decided to have a party while I was sick",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for being incredibly upset that my partner decided to have a party while I was sick?
|
I had a nasty bug, wasn't sleeping etc. Had hoped it would clear up before the day of the party arrived, but instead had yet to get any sleep yet at 9am the morning of. I was told "Just stay in bed. I'm going to make this happen" (Normally I would be doing all the cooking/food prep) and promptly ignored for the rest of the day/night and never even checked on.
Being sick, I felt awful, looked awful, and likely smelled awful as well. As a result I didn't feel comfortable being anywhere but the bedroom for the 6+ loud hours people were there.
My partner was looking forward to the party, but I just feel more and more furious that no consideration was taken for me or how I was feeling.
Am I the asshole for working myself up so much over this?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
LGqDoe0ifl43qin1vbo8m125XIPvxl5v
|
az0hqz
|
{
"description": "arguing with my father because I want to stand up for my elder sister",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for arguing with my father because i want to stand up for my elder sister.
|
My sister is a medical intern. Due to this, she doesn't come back until 11:30 at night. Many days, she takes up night duties as well. In my country, there's a common notion against women that they shouldn't be outside at night and they should come early. It's almost devastating that people take so much pride in misogynistic views. Even though girls study and shine in their fields, they're still taken as granted by their parents with comments like "You're only allowed to work as much as we allow you to." , "Women are weaker so they shouldn't have high hopes or freedom because they're prone to the dangers."
Yesterday, my sister came back home at 11:30 and my father went berserk. For him, she being a girl and working late hours isn't a good sign and society doesn't approve of it, so she shouldn't work late. Irrespective of the fact that it's a given schedule for her to be present at that particular time. As for my mom, she'll never go against the norms. She never accepts the possibility of a progressive generation even when we live in a city that chimes with progressiveness. So many of the girls i know or see stay late at nights in the clubs or partying with friends and their parents don't give two shits,not that going to clubs or parties is wrong but atleast they're enjoying it and not working. My sister is a very bright person,she does a lot of work as an intern and for her to be not able to work as much just because my parents don't want her to attend night duties or come late breaks her.
Today i was having my breakfast when my mom suddenly starts talking about everything saying that my sister should change her behaviour and she should conform with the society. I was frustrated, it's not the first time we're talking about this. I told her that women shouldn't lose their freedom because the society doesn't approve and my father says "If an ant says it's going to fight against an elephant, it can't. So, your sisters no different." I burst out at my father and argued with him, he starts telling me that this is the problem with this generation that we don't understand our faults and we don't understand how society works.
People think so much about the society that they don't even think about their freedom. My father would rather just conform to the society than to support my sister and encourage her to learn and be established. He talks about safety, but is it her fault that we've come to such a bad time that women need to supress their freedom to work, to enjoy life. Now my father's acting like I've hurt him and he's not even talking to me, he doesn't even care to atleast try to understand my point. Am i really the bad person here? I did what i thought was right. Ofcourse i care about my sister's safety which i why if it's too late, i tell her to book a cab or i just bring her home on my bike.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
j1PHSKfiLXMY6UPyfO3K5Vb316fuStM0
|
a1rknk
|
{
"description": "feeling pissed my friends made me a guard",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for feeling pissed my friends made me a guard?
|
I don't even know how to say this, nor how to feel about it.
My friend celebrated his birthday a couple months ago, so he invited me, his girlfriend, and a couple other fellas for a celebration. Turns out, he wanted to do some stuff with his SO because the girl is pissed on him for not sleeping over. He pleaded me to guard the door so his parents won't walk in on them.
The thing is, there are other people in the room just then. One of my pals was playing, another is talking to her girl via phone, and me? I was using fucking reddit. And for some reason he thought I should be the one protecting their asses from getting roasted to oblivion because what I was doing "is the least important". So while they were out there laughing their asses off from what the fuck they're doing, I'm supposed to be outside, guarding them from getting walked in on.
It's been bothering me for quite some time now. Aita for feeling pissed about this situation?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
QrgRq6LjTpVp2OZtLs3kLKLoJ2U411KU
|
ayaahs
| null |
AITA family issues
|
father who refuses to change his ways . examples range from drunk driving with open containers . coupled with severe depression. unexplained rage . etc . living at home with mother who just had breast cancer . love her to death . and AITA for leaving . attempted to keep my mother away from this but i cant. it feels that im giving up on them . brother is in the mix but cant due to work stuff, and has refused to help .
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
3HAyzKaQahaduk7niSqCmsomWuEDiF3g
|
b6fsb1
|
{
"description": "not sharing my lunch at work",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not sharing my lunch at work?
|
Context; there's a freelancer who we hired once before last year and was hired again for these couple weeks. Lets call the freelancer "DEBBIE". I never interacted much with Debbie, only spoke to her once or twice; either about where certain things were (e.g. files) or general greetings (Hi, good morning).
​
Today at lunch I basically made nachos, so a side of mince meat and veggies plus a side of corn chips. I'm eating my lunch and it so happens Debbie is sitting right next to me and she reaches for the chips, her hand right inside my bowl on the left side and hovering slightly above the chips. She asks "Hey is it alright if I have a chip?" I am mid way through a bite, and I'm sitting with my knees up, bowl on my knees so my face is right in front of the bowl. This makes it so her hand is right in front of my face and in my bowl at the same time, and as I swallow the bite that I was in the middle of eating, she continues, "Well I'll just take one anyway" \*giggles\*.
I barely muffled a response before she picks one up and puts it in her mouth. I pause, trying to process what happened. And then I realized that this exact situation happened before, last year, when we first hired her. She took a piece of meat from my bowl, again picking at it with her hand right on top of my food and without my response, grabbed it and ate it. Just how like it happened today.
​
Am I the asshole? I feel like if I had managed to say no, everyone around the table would be wondering why I wouldn't share just one chip. But I was always a big eater; I always bring big lunches not so they could be shared around, but so I could feel full enough to last me through the work day. I've never asked her for a piece of her lunch. I've never as much asked her for a favour, money or anything else. And I've never seen her ask for other people's lunches. Except for mine.
​
Please let me know if I am in the wrong, and if I should be feeling a bit upset about it. I guess I'm less upset over the one chip, more so with her taking a piece of lunch without any care or respect.
​
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
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OTHER
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{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
BmTes8lCYyAc8WxgebFyNM7tVyleLqBu
|
9wr1cq
|
{
"description": "getting upset with my so about communicating repeatedly with her ex",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting upset with my SO about communicating repeatedly with her ex?
|
Little background. I'm not typically a jealous person, prefer transparency to secrecy, yadda yadda. We started dating not long after she broke up with her ex and I knew all about their connection (college love) and was cool about her taking time to fully "let go" as long as she was open about it. I'm on good terms with most of my exes and occasionally bump into them so it's not a big deal for me. Fast forward 4 months(January 2018) and one night she's not responding to calls or texts. I have this weird feeling about it but don't say anything. A few days later we're watching Netflix on her Mac and her text thing goes off on the computer with a text from her ex. Okay, I thought... Whatever. But she got really weird and tried to distract me mid show by kissing me as soon as the chime went off. I hate snooping but we were/are open with each other's phones and I had this nagging feeling something was off. Clicked on the thread later when she wasn't around and looked at the prior day in question and there were consecutive texts leading to midnight then stopped. I had called at 1230 and didn't hear back until almost 2am. So I went into her phone (not proud) and found a 1.5 hr conversation during the time she had said she was "busy and didn't have her phone". Brought it up a week later, talked about how it just seemed wrong to hide that from me because I only care if it seems intentional to be secretive about it, she half apologized and we moved on.
She was really open about their conversations for a couple weeks then stopped saying anything so I figured they must had moved on. Queue us taking a trip together in the summer and on the drive home she was asking me to go through her pictures and favorite some. In doing so I stumble on quite a few saved screenshots of their recent conversations, talking about life and happiness and their future goals and aspirations, friendly for the most part but also emotionally connected at first read. So again I go to the texts and there is nothing there. I confront her in the car right then and she says she saves all kinds of conversations, ours included (she does have some of ours) and it's not a big deal, she deleted the thread because they weren't really talking anymore. All right I guess, still kinda weird but sure, I believe her but conscious of the suspicion growing in my mind.
Fast forward to 1 month ago. She's showing me something in her email and her texts are pulled up in a separate window. When she minimized the browser I noticed his name in one of the top slots. She went to the bathroom and left her phone so, guiltily and hesitant I open her phone texts...nothing. I checked her computer again and there are texts from a few days before up to this day. I bring it up a couple days later and she says, "I deleted them from my phone because I knew it'd make you upset". This is the moment I got upset and tried to calmly explain just how suspicious that is. After talking in circles and trying to change the subject numerous times she said "I'm sorry you saw them and it upset you". I'm not the jealous sort, but this is undermining my trust in her. Queue to this past weekend she goes on a girls trip to the cottage her ex lives in (coincidence). Shows me their itinerary and what not, looks fun ok love you have fun bye! She calls me at midnight on Saturday and we chat about the weekend so far, then in a barely audible whisper she says, "do you care if I go get coffee with ex". Im shocked and just say, "babe I don't know what you expect but I can't give you approval for that. Do what you want to do, it's fine but I'm not going to say I'm okay with it". That was that, we hung up and didn't really talk until she got home the next day. I was waiting for her to bring it up which she never did until I breached the conversation. After several attempts asking her why she was barely whispering when asking that she said, "cause [insert friends names] wouldn't have agreed with me going and they were in the next room". While I did appreciate the honesty about it, I don't know what to think about the whole situation. Am I the asshole for calling her out about this? I told her it's selfish to ask me for approval and asked her to put me in her shoes doing the same thing with my ex.. she said "it's not the same, you guys didn't date as long" (which is true, by 6 months). Idk.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
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OTHER
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{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
GwrbqUkYjQtCalSTuXTl2GqWme7OWR31
|
9w5dln
|
{
"description": "missing Christmas with my family",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for missing Christmas with my family?
|
Basically what happened is about a month ago, my dad and I got in an argument and he hit me. We were arguing about a piece of fudge of his that I ate, I said “I’m glad I ate it” to purposely bug him because I was mad (not proud of it), then he hit me. He hit me on the back, pushed me into a corner, and yelled in my face. He yelled at me to “fuck off”, and keep in mind he’s 6’8. Apparently the real reason for him doing this was that a few weeks before, they were camping and so my boyfriend stayed over for the weekend without them knowing. They say this really broke their trust.
Nothing like that has ever happened before, and it’s really affected me. My doctor and therapist both say I’ve been traumatized. My depression and eating disorder, which were in remission, came back solely because of this, I had nightmares, and loud noises would make me freak out and I couldn’t calm down. At one point, I was scared to be in my own home. I moved things in front of the door to have a shower because I thought someone would come in and hit me. As well as this, things would happen like something would drop something near where my art teacher was standing, and my first thought was that my sweet art teacher was hitting someone.
My dad never really apologized, either. He said “I’m sorry for how this all worked out”, which in my opinion isn’t a really an apology. I also told him, through tears, that he wasn’t realizing how big of a deal what he did is, and to that he said I don’t realize how big of a deal what I did was. My mom wasn’t very supportive through all of it, and my siblings said things like “I see both sides”, and “what you said was disgusting”. I asked my mom if we were just going to brush this under the rug, and she said no, but no one did anything. My dad thinks him promising to not do it again is good enough. My mom said if he had hit her she would definitely leave, but I guess for some reason it’s okay to hit me?
So anyway, I spent thanksgiving with my boyfriend’s family (I live in Canada so this was mid October), and I want to spend Christmas with his family as well. My doctor said I’d be slighting my family, and if I want a relationship with them I shouldn’t, but I really don’t want to spend time with them like that. Also, I’m 18 if that matters. So, WIBTA?
TL;DR My dad hit me, according to my doctor and therapist this literally traumatized me. Because of this and the lack of support from my family, I want to do what I did for thanksgiving and spend Christmas with my boyfriend’s family.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
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|
a57j9j
|
{
"description": "dropping my sisters old laptop and not thinking it as much of a big deal",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 10
}
|
AITA for dropping my(13M) sisters(15F) old laptop and not thinking it as much of a big deal.
|
So this laptop is like 5 years old and she got a new macbook for her birthday this year (4 months ago). So yesterday after school she said "Alex can you grab my notebook it on top of my old laptop" (we were in her room) so I do just that but my hand must of tugged the laptop and it dropped she screamed at me then check the laptop and there was a small blue area on the top left on the screen. Then she went off on me I said it doesn't really matter you haven't touched in months. Then we fought for like 10 minutes Intel one of our moms came in and told us to stop and kicked me out of the room AITA.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 10,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 10
}
|
WRONG
|
OA2OMFw2iVZE5HtbK0TD52q3tY2VMAJH
|
ayhkhy
|
{
"description": "kicking her out",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for kicking her out?
|
I am in an lgbtq support group in my church. It’s very small, mostly my gay friends (females) and myself (a gay female). There is a transgender woman who joined our group, and obviously we were accepting to her and even though she is 20 years older than most of us. we are all in our early twenties and she is 41. She has only been out as transgender for a year, and she does not pass as female. She is 6 foot 4 and very strong. She wears clothes that are too small for her, to where she is quite literally bursting out of them. She is very straight forward and has an aggressive personality. Let’s call her RD.
The next week at church, we were in our safety group. One of the leaders passed out prayer request cards for us to write something we are struggling with and give it to someone in the group. RD wrote hers down, and gave it to my friend who we can call A. I overheard an awkward conversation between the two of them but it wasn’t until after church A told me that RD had written her phone number and a note saying “You’re cute, text me” with a winky face. RD also told me that she overheard my parents saying that her and I should date so that “The man inside of her can be released and maybe it’ll scare the gay out of me” which I know is a lie. My parents would never say that. I reached out to our leaders because I felt that it was inappropriate. They told me to reach out to RD myself. I did.
I told her she was making us feel comfortable with the lying and the forced conversations, as well as making A feel very targeted because she was expecting an innocent prayer request, yet it turned into a cornered awkward situation. She apologized and said she did not mean to make anyone feel uncomfortable. I suggested we strictly talk at the group and not outside of it for now..
The next week, A was discussing her love for poetry and writing slam poems. Days later, RD found her on Facebook and sent her a love poem. I decided that since RD wouldn’t listen to me, I would reach out to her mentor. Her mentor said she would discuss it with her.
3 days later, A’s twin sister G told me that RD has written on her Facebook wall about how trans women are always being targeted as predators and some more unwanted nonsense in the post. I messaged RD.
Me- I’m not looking to get into a huge argument over text because that is childish. But there are a few things that I have fact checked and know you are lying about. My parents never said those things about us dating. And you posted on G’s page. We asked you not to.
RD- You called me a liar!! Trans women are constantly being threatened for just existing. I’m fucking done! You and the twins can go to hell!
tl;dr - a trans woman joined my lgbtq group and made everyone uncomfortable so I had her leave the group.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 14,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 14,
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}
|
RIGHT
|
Nsr6T5sqHF8QVgrkcGXiHmSVfywoAJi5
|
a02vui
|
{
"description": "not tipping this waitress",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for not tipping this waitress
|
I order a burger and ask it to be made with no cheese.
The burger came with cheese
I call the waitress and ask for it to be remade and instead of just taking it back she starts arguing with me asking why i cant take the cheese off myself.
Eventually she takes it back and gives me a new burger.
I understand mistakes happen and if she just acknowledged the mistake and fixed it then I would have gladly tipped her, but instead she chose to argue with me and expect me to fix her mistake so i felt that type of customer service does not warrant a tip.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
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}
|
WRONG
|
SwvcJny4Vu1M4l3J1Wfs0g0vcHfMlo9N
|
b8o0vd
|
{
"description": "wanting my money back",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for wanting my money back?
|
So I went to the hairdresser today. It was the best rates hairdresser in my region and because I wanted to bleach my brown hair really light blonde or silver I thought it would be better to go to a good hairdresser then to burn my hair off my head.
I looked up the prices beforehand and found that they charge 20-90€ for dye treatment. Since it isn't the first time I got my hair professionally dyed, I decided that the price was fair and I would make an appointment. My hair is really short at the moment so I thought that it would probably be not 90€ but more like 30-50.
When I came in and explained what kind of color I wanted to do, they were really friendly and helpful and the hairdresser explained that they would turn orange if they just bleached them because my natural hair color has some warm undertones. So she recommended that she'd do a lot of highlights and they would lift evenly and not be orange or yellow. She told me that I would have to come in again and it wouldn't be perfect right away but I would soon have the color I desired.
So I agreed because I thought that it was my only option and the result would be similar to what I intended. I trusted her because she was the professional.
Fast forward 4 hours and I see my hair for the first time. It was not at all what I intended it to be. I (20) look like a woman that just got grey hair. Some spots are yellow some are grey and some are white - and of course there is a lot brown left. I didn't know how to react because she and her manager both recommended that technique and told me how good it looked.
She then continued to style it and give me products to try/buy that would make the hair color stay and keep the hair healthy. So I was baffled and agreed to buy them. She then told me that I should pay 230€. That's waaaaay more than I expected and I was so perplex that I just payed.
When I came home I realised how dumb it was and I saw how bad the color looked. My boyfriend now wants to go back there and return the products and maybe try to refund me/get an explanation why it's so expensive.
But I feel like it was kind of my own fault. I obviously didn't understand the procedure completely and agreed to pay so much money. I'm also in college and that amount of money really hurts to loose.
So am I the asshole when I want my money back?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
f0u5WHlvcnB6yiTL9nL4ENpOHnyzdhCa
|
as1lpl
|
{
"description": "trying to get my fiancee to admit fault",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA for trying to get my fiancee to admit fault?
|
We were driving. I took out my phone and she objected to me being on it while driving (And rightly so) so I put the phone down and asked her to read the message to me. She was reading wrong, (read my messages as if they were from the other person and read their messages as if they were from me) and it confused me so I told her to give me the phone back (I was going to just put it in my pocket where it belongs) and she refused due to her assumption that I was going to try to read the messages while driving. I repeated my request to give me my phone back and she held it away from me so I reach over and grabbed it and put it away. She was pissy about it and I told her if she had just listened to me i wouldn't have had to grab it from her. I told her she made a mistake by assuming the worst of me instead of giving me the benefit of the doubt. She swears up and down that she made no mistake and that she is completely innocent of any mistakes. She said I set her up to misinterpret the situation. My point is that even if did mistakenly set her up to think I would read my phone while driving, wouldn't that have no affect on weather or not she made a mistake assuming I would. Isn't that still a mistake? It's petty. It's the most petty. I still want her to admit that she made a mistake. I admit that I made a mistake by not clarifying for her but now she is still adamant that she made no mistake. She never admits fault. Not for anything. Not until after a huge fight and tears and storming off, which she is currently in the middle of, and finally calming down to realize she was mistaken. How do I get her to step back in the moment and see what's going on instead of waiting until after a huge blow up?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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|
WRONG
|
14BbWrMVR4wfeNeqv2Hsj2CGkzbCt3dF
|
ahb5fn
|
{
"description": "not spending the majority of my time with my mother while she is in town for my birthday",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I don’t spend the majority of my time with my mother while she is in town for my birthday?
|
My mom lives about four hours away and is coming in town with her husband for my birthday. My mother and I have always had a strained relationship, and she is not welcome in the home I share with my sister because my sister wants nothing to do with her.
I see my mom about once a month, maybe every two months if I can’t get time off to go visit her. However, when she comes into town, I am expected to drop everything and spend all my time with her.
We are supposed to be getting a bad snow storm here over the weekend, and my state is notorious for taking poor care of the roads in a snow storm. I warned her that if the roads are bad, I would not want to drive to the hotel she is staying at and spend all day in their hotel room playing card and board games. She is still planning to come out despite the snow storm, and thinks that I should be willing to drive to their hotel since it’s only a few miles away.
If somehow this storm isn’t as bad as predicted, I will spend time with her, but I also would like to see my friends that want to go out for my birthday. But she thinks I should be spending my time with her since we don’t see each other often.
So Reddit, am I just being a selfish asshole here?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
EZw0DgV32tOuSKPvNguOQw9faS9JrPD8
|
arj1vh
|
{
"description": "snooping and kicking ex boyfriend out",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for snooping and kicking ex boyfriend out
|
I'm from America but live in Australia and invited my good friend and ex boyfriend out to come stay with me rent free for up to a year on a visa. For some background, he was figuring out what he wanted to do with his life and had never traveled much. I told him that he could figure out his life and study for the MCAT anywhere, so he might as well come someplace beautiful and hang out with me. We had dated very seriously for 2 years about 6 years ago and we've been very close for the past 4 years. He got excited about spending time with me and exploring Australia and agreed to come out. We were just friends at the time, but were flirting heavily. We both knew it was a temporary situation since he couldn't stay here for more than a year, so we set some ground rules. We agreed to be exclusive while he was living with me, but that it wasn't going to be a forever thing. Basically, we said that if we were sleeping together, we weren't going to pursue other people. And I told him that we could either just be friends or we could be together, but I felt uncomfortable with him flirting with and sexting other women while sleeping with me. You can see where this is going. About 6 months into his staying with me, he's on his laptop and gets a sext from some girl. I'm sitting next to him so I see it and ask about it. He slams the laptop shut and denies anything. I get suspicious and press him for more info about her. He gets angry and says to mind my own business and it doesn't involve me. So, I, very shittily, look through his facebook messages one day when he left his laptop out and see that he's been flirting with several women the entire time he's been living with me, including with a girl who flew to my city to meet up with him. So he's been lying to me for 6 months. He knew I would not want to continue sleeping with him if i knew about his side chicks. So he hid them and continued to have sex and be romantic with me. But he swears he never had sex with anyone else, even the girl who saw him here. I tell him I never want to speak to him again and ask him to leave my place. I give him 2 weeks to make other arrangements. But it's hard because I know he doesn't have a lot of money and he will have to stay at an Airbnb or cheap hotel. And he has to book a flight back to America which will be expensive. So, I feel bad. For snooping and for kicking him out. He swears he never cheated on me, it was just flirting. But he knew I would have chosen to stop sleeping with him if I knew, and I feel like that decision was taken from me. I just feel disrespected and a little violated.
Also, he never paid rent or anything and my name is the only one on the lease if that helps. He paid me 100 bucks once for all the extra utilities, but that doesn't come close to covering it. It was just a gesture since he is kind of broke. He's a good guy otherwise. He just doesn't seem to respect me very much. But am I overreacting? Am I the asshole here?
TLDR: my ex boyfriend came to live with me in Australia from America. I snooped on his laptop after I saw that he received a sext and he acted shady. He's been flirting with many women. I gave him about 2 weeks to move out. He's pretty broke and it will cost him a lot to rent a place and buy a flight back to America.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 5,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
72DnnMFbkWhftXL2kcvspIc0EmTSWbfu
|
b8ns95
|
{
"description": "seeing a guy my friend likes",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for seeing a guy my friend likes?
|
Hi all. This is a bit more complicated than it may seem, and may be confusing for a lot of people, including me! I’ll do my best to explain, let me know if I need more clarity. Fake names, obviously.
I have four best friends: Lisa, Tara, Sophie, and Jane, and the five of us are very incestuous. Our larger social circle is too, because we go to a small school and are all in a particular clique, ya know? Not many options. For example, 4/5 of us have dated Sam, and 4/5 of us have dated Bill, with only 2/5 of us not having dated both, but all of us at least one. Again, incestuous and messy but we make it work. It’s never been a problem until now.
I’ve dated this one guy twice before, let’s keep calling him guy A. Lost my virginity to him, all that jazz. As of recently, I’ve started talking to him again and we decided to let loose and have a FWB sort of thing before graduation. Sidenote: Sophie and Lisa are doing the same thing with Bill- very senior thing to do, FWB triangle, right? So I figured talking to Sam again was harmless and less messy than the situation with Bill. So I went for it!
Out of nowhere, this is a problem. My closest friend out of the five, Jane, is devastated. She says she’s loved him all of high school and was heartbroken the first two times we dated, but now it’s even worse for some reason. I told her that her feelings matter more than a casual relationship with a guy, and I’ll always value her more than any penis. I guess I was being deceitful here, because while I mean that, I’m continuing to see him. She cried when she heard about us going on a date, but Sam does not have any interest in her and she claims that she could never be in a relationship with him again (doubtful, but still.)
Sophie and Lisa both “side” with me that I’m not doing anything wrong, Tara has taken to talking shit about me, calling me horrible things (not very out of character for her, but it’s gotten so bad that teachers are noticing and talking to me about it.) I firmly believe that only Jane gets an opinion, and that Tara is out of line for being intentionally rude to me and humiliating me in public.
It’s causing more strife that I won’t get into. Me and Sam like each other, and it isn’t fair that I have to end it because Jane is jealous or sad. But it’s also not fair that I continue to see him while my friend is being hurt. It’s such a messy, gross situation and I hope a neutral party can tell me who’s being the asshole here! I don’t want to stop talking to him as it’s helping me through a breakup that really fucked me over (see my embarrassing throwaway history), but I don’t want to hurt my friend.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
S4eOY2kK7662wgzIFlE2nS5nPcQBg3NS
|
ait9td
|
{
"description": "getting upset with my girlfriend for not remembering my birthday",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA - For getting upset with my girlfriend for not remembering my birthday.
|
I know it seems small but it matters to me. She claims to have memory issues but she can recall a lot of other things. Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
ZfRC1TYIYhEAdnbniZj7EuBhlnY2wZK3
|
az2o1z
|
{
"description": "preferring the wait staff over my friends",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for preferring the wait staff over my friends?
|
My friends and I have a bar we always go to. Since the beginning I’ve always told which ever bartender who was there to charge my bill separately from my group. The reason I said that is because I’m the only one in the group that tips. Now, the reason I do that is because no one else wants to tip…they leave all the tip up to me.
It’s a spot that my friends and I always frequent. My bill usually comes out to $10 and I always give $35 (so they can get a $25 tip) the people I’m with, as I said, depend on me to leave the tip which I always do even though they don’t contribute to the tip. They get upset because my bill comes out lower but I’ve always said “chip in on tip for them” or “leave them something on your behalf”.
My friends never listened, so when we go to the bar no matter how many drinks I get they charge me a certain amount (usually $10.00) . For my friends they charge them everything fully.
My friends asked me to speak to the bartender about it and the bartender said to me “I look out for people that look out for me”.
I said ‘cool, no problem brother’. That to me indicates that I gave him enough tip for him to not worry about me. But my people did not tip him. And then when they got their bill in full and they started bitching at me for it.
So reddit am I the asshole for anything that went down? The most I asked from the group was a dollar a piece so we can tip him as a group and I’ll tip the rest.
One of my friends even said to me one time “ this is my money. You’re not going to tell me to tip someone if I don’t want to because it’s my money”
Am I wrong for telling the bartender to give me a separate bill from my friends?
Also P.S I’m drunk but I hope you guys understand whhere I’m coming from and what I’m trying to say.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 5,
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
B5MVnT0wDI6TksJEHzcxy6UL0B1H1LNK
|
b7mk3q
|
{
"description": "being uncomfortable/uncertain about being friends with a 13yo",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being uncomfortable/uncertain about being friends with a 13yo?
|
Hi. I'm a 17 year old kid who recently had an encounter with a 13 year old girl on a game. She proceeded to add me on PSN and also on snapchat. I went along with it because I didn't think too much of it.
At that point, she confessed her love to me. But obviously I found this situation way too weird and proceeded to ghost her.
Fast forward to a couple of months later, she adds me on alternative Snapchat account. After about 2 weeks of contemplation, I decided to just accept her request to see what she wants to say.
Surprisingly she didn't talk about anything that happened thus far. I told her that I blocked her on her other accounts so why did she make a new one: apparently she had forgotten the password and it wasn't just to speak with me.
She then told me "if you don't want to speak with me just tell me, when we play games I won't talk either". At this point, I felt really bad- she was so desperate to be friends with me it seemed, saying "I understood her " and I'm one of her best friends. Maybe this was all just a guilt trip, but I decided to trust this person. She was a foreigner and just wanted a friend- what could be so bad about that right? Apparently her parents are fine with her talking to some 17yo overseas.
But there's still this feeling of guilt every time we talk. Am I the asshole if I don't want to be 100% invested in this friendship?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
EqNJXKKpyquvbvB2e05R5JVEgbqan3vw
|
apgaxx
|
{
"description": "not liking GF went away on NYE trip with her EX",
"pronormative_score": 23,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not liking GF went away on NYE trip with her EX?
|
(throwaway account)
So this girl and I have been dating for around 11 months. We're super chill and things were going great.
At the end of the year, things get weird. She went out of town for NYE and told me it's a huge friends gathering. Turns out, it was just her and her most recent ex partying it up.
She told me all this later, like all her friends bailed so it wasn't a big deal but it felt like she was being evasive about it. When her friends ask who she went with, she doesn't tell them. When my friend asked her, she just ignored the question.
AITA for not being happy about this? I told her that I'm not being possessive or anything but I don't think it's cool she went off with an ex. She says I'm overreacting and he's like a brother.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 22,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 23,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
XSh0X4FVJm81O9xMXfjtQRMhxY4Og3Hb
|
a6b3ke
|
{
"description": "not calling out at work properly",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not calling out at work properly?
|
So for about the past week I have been feeling pretty ill- nausea and such. Well, yesterday afternoon (I work nights) I threw up and there was some blood. Obviously, I immediately freaked out and went to the Emergency Room. I didn't have good service in there but I did have Wifi so I texted my supervisor and asked a coworker to send an to another coworker who depends on me that I would not be there for my shift.
When I got out of the E.R. at around 5 am I found I had an email addressed to everyone at my workplace from said supervisor reminding us that you have to CALL out and a text is NEVER acceptable. Not sure why but that makes me very upset. Am I the asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
8qhcbmIVlFma5X8SZQEjUgKtn8Zcncn8
|
ba6b34
|
{
"description": "ditching my own birthday party",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA for ditching my own birthday party
|
tonight my friends are throwing me a birthday party in one of their apartments.
the issue is, that it’s not my party. they all invited a ton of people i️ don’t know, and it’s a lot bigger than i️ ever wanted (50+ people)
it doesn’t really feel like my party and it wasn’t what i️ had agreed to when i️ originally said i’d go
i️ don’t feel like going and babysitting a ton of drunk college students
however my roommate is really excited. she bought decorations and snacks, and a tiara for me for the party. i️ don’t want to be an asshole to her and dip, but i️ really don’t want to go to a rager and pretend it’s my party
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
eE8Y54oUyzrmO3QBW23ysxUg0wJiQ8uV
|
b6pbjj
|
{
"description": "leaving early",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for leaving early?
|
Full disclosure, what I did today was shitty, and I think I'm the asshole. But I want to know how egrigious what I did was.
​
I work as a tub refinisher, and I'm currently just a helper. My coworker is out of town for today and tomorrow, so I was sent in to a site, to strip the paint off some tubs. Keyword being "some." They expected me to not even finish one today, and the job is for multiple tubs in an apartment complex.
​
I go in, I end up getting there about an hour late (underestimated the drive) at 09:00, and get to work after talking to the client. As I'm getting my stuff set up in the vacant apartment, to gauge how long it'll take me, he says he'd rather have me start in the occupied one, since the people were asked to leave the place while I'm stripping ("fumes" and all that.) I agree, and haul my tools over to there and get set up.
​
Some complications arise, and I end up going until 13:30 or so. He comes in and asks if I want to start working on the vacant one. I didn't, and I said I was going to get going, since hauling my tools would take a while. He kept asking, but I repated that I was going to get going. By the time I had everything hauled into the vacant room, it was around 14:00, and I wanted to get going. He asked again, and I said I'd be here at the proper time tomorrow, explained how because I did one today, now everything was fresh in my mind and I would be faster as a result, how I'm only scheduled until 15:00, and how I wouldn't even be doing much if I stayed. He stopped asking at that point, and we said goodbye.
​
So, yeah, I don't really have a good reason for leaving an hour early. I could have stayed and worked on stuff until it was time to go, but I didn't.
I do have shallow reasons for not wanting to stay, like how his periodic checking in on me, and watching me work, made me uncomfortable, and how the vacant apartment was where he was working, but I don't really think that excuses what I did.
​
I mostly just want to know how shitty what I did was, and if I should be concerned about it.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
WRONG
|
DTkhFx4oVWPRYrV2sDPspveaNpvwpIZT
|
amdxdy
|
{
"description": "thinking two straight girls making out and about to have sex was an automatic invitation to a threesome",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 20
}
|
AITA for thinking two straight girls making out and about to have sex was an automatic invitation to a threesome?
|
This is pretty fresh as it's basically like nuclear fall out in this ski cabin were staying at and I'm just trying to hide out. Whether or not I'm the asshole will definitely affect how I approach the weekend. There are 12 of us sharing this huge airbnb house close to a major ski resort. Some of us got here Thursday, everyone else Friday. Thursday me and this girl "Angela" were two of the first to arrive. I've had a FWB thing with her for almost 2 years now. We've had sex a few times but more often it's just heavy making out. We had a massive make out session on Thursday while we still had a private room.
Friday, everyone else arrived and Angela basically kicked me out of the master bedroom because she and two other girls were going to share it. No problem. So last night everyone got really drunk and I needed to pee and the other bathroom was occupied. I knocked on Angela's door and when she heard it was me she gave me this very seductive but probably joking "commmme in...." and said I could use the bathroom.
She was sitting on the bed with this other named "Jenny" and it appeared to be just talking, but Jenny was in a robe. They both said hello and asked me to make sure the bedroom door was closed, so they absolutely knew I was in the room. I went to pee, but was in there for probably 15/20 minutes texting and looking at Instagram.
I came out and they were in full on make out mode. Jenny's robe was open, Angela had her sweater and her bra pulled up over her chest and she was just in her underwear. I mean full on girl in girl make out session. Angela was on "top" and kind of looked over at me and smiled and I was like "holy shit! jackpot...they must have been waiting on me!"
So I got down to my underwear, pulled them down in the front and went over and started kissing and rubbing all over Angela. The both freaked the fuck out. Like I mean FREAKED out so bad that the rest of the party came to check on them as if someone had broken in the window. They kicked me out of the room without my pants, so to the rest of the party goers I looked even worse as I'm standing there in my raggety boxer briefs while Jenny was openly crying in behind the door.
Jenny said she felt so unsafe with me in the house she went home. Angela is beyond pissed and called me an asshole among other things. The other 9 people are my close friends and there's sort of a spectrum of "well everyone was drunk and nothing really happened" to "I can never trust you again and want you to leave."
It's 6:10AM as a I write this and I need to make a decision whether I should just leave for the benefit of the group or if I should try to make the best of it.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 20,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 20
}
|
WRONG
|
IMw0agL3vcrh7s3Jen3yhQmrcoJWrgCA
|
ayhui6
|
{
"description": "not reconnecting with an old acquaintance after his father passed",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for not reconnecting with an old acquaintance after his father passed?
|
A while back, a buddy of mine (not a close friend by any means) blocked me and ignored my texts out of nowhere. Mind you, this is right after I did him a huge favor for free using my professional skills. Turns out the girl he was dating was jealous or whatever. We have never been romantically involved or even flirtatious in any way.
I was totally appalled and wrote him off. Dude is in his mid-20’s, not a teenager. That’s a terrible way to treat someone who’s been nothing but kind to you.
Months and months later he reached out to say he’d “been manipulated” blah blah blah and tried to rekindle our friendship. I ignored the message. He tried again and I ignored that, too. I didn’t feel I had any obligation to respond.
Today he hits me with “My dad died last night, I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me”.
I’ll be honest. I was totally disgusted. Leveraging your own father’s death to guilt someone you weren’t even that close to into rekindling a friendship they’ve made it abundantly clear they don’t want? But people can act oddly when grieving, I get that. Still can’t help feeling repulsed and manipulated.
I have not yet replied but was thinking of simply saying that he had my condolences for his loss, but that I was uninterested in rekindling our friendship. TBH I’m in a foreign country on an emergency visit to see a dying relative of my own. As terrible as it sounds, I have no desire to listen to this guy cry about his loss right now. I feel he absolutely should be leaning on his family or closer friends at this time.
I have no desire to pile hurt on a person who just lost a parent. That’s tough stuff. But I can’t help but feel really skeeved and frustrated and backed into a corner.
Am I the asshole, here?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
3LzPtHu1XemBh8Wcphn1MScIDEUMwCps
|
b0e9zi
|
{
"description": "excluding the racist guy in my class",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for excluding the racist guy in my class
|
I don't want to start a political discussion but my views are important to this. There is a pro-life, racist and very homophobic/transphobic person in my class. I always try to speak out against him because I don't want people to start agreeing with him and although his views don't personally attack me they do attack people close to me and I want to stand up for them.
When he isn't like that he is actually a cool guy to hang out with but whenever I'm around him I always remember the stuff he says at other times and I always want to change his mind on those views and start a debate about that.
Am i the asshole for trying to end 1-1 conversations with him or moving away from him because I don't like his views.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
VLcj75HPx2VNwfVtL1sT0UUKnoeOt30P
|
auclqo
|
{
"description": "ignoring my ex for 3 days after she dumps me during which she ran away from home",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA If I ignore my ex for 3 days after she dumps me during which she ran away from home?
|
So this time last year me and my ex broke up, we had dated just over one month and she dumped me as she 'didn't want to overstress me', I saw this as bull and blocked her for 3 days. Ignoring phone calls and texts, when I unblocked her she said she had run away from home the night before and needed me, mentioning she had nearly cut herself.
I knew she had issues such as anxiety and depression and had cut herself before but also that she had had over a dozen other boyfriends in the previous year so though moving on was the best plan. Should I have listened to her pleas over those 3 days knowing she wasn't mentally stable and could have caused herself harm as she had cut her wrists many times before?
If you want to see what she first said when I unblocked her I made a post on r/Nicegirls about it
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
IoRIJ0ljA4le0xaSOtFEB1d0ksTwQoBb
|
aw1btw
|
{
"description": "getting mad at my fwb for not having sex with me",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA For getting mad at my FWB for not having sex with me
|
First timer here but so I'm FWB with this girl and she does not have a car so when we are ment to hook up I have to drive to get her and she lives 30 mins away so it's an hour drive there and back. So I'll go get her and we will usually get food then go to my place where in the car and when texting she's being super flirty and want to fuck like rabbits (A side note she stays over when we do our meet ups) we get to my place eat and take a shower together and she will hit me with an excuse like her stomach hurts or her pussy hurts or she's not in the mood and we won't have sex and she will say before we go to sleep we will have morning sex and I say ok and lay in bed frustrated because she sleeps naked and wants to cuddle and all that shit and gets mad when I have an erection then morning comes and we don't have sex and I drive her home pretty pissed off from the whole situation. am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 9
}
|
WRONG
|
XHXxxUfS5l8h14lvI6JLPLtXtUeiQRr1
|
azmumx
|
{
"description": "resenting my mother for never cooking",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For resenting my mother for never cooking.
|
I’m kind of conflicted, and figured y’all should tell me if I’m an asshole or not. I’m not sure how to write this so I’ll try to do bullet points of both sides.
Her;
My mom has a sensitive stomach and says she can’t cook, because she will puke from the smell. She also says she has no time.
Me;
She bakes fairly often (cakes and such) and doesn’t seem to get upset at smelly restaurants.
I’d be more than willing to cook and have offered many times. In another life I’d love to be a chef, Im mainly subscribed to food channels on YouTube.
I’ve been bullied my whole life for being a scrawny runt. I’m nearly 6ft and barely 120. I also struggle to build muscle, because I can’t put on weight.
She’s a health nut. She spends hours at the gym and spends tons of money on lotions to make her look better. We eat very light, non fatty foods. Think salads, sandwiches, cereal, occasionally pasta with tomato or light pizza.
I’ve tried talking to her, but it has never ended well for me (she’s under a lot of stress and I understand that she can be upset quickly because of it).
I love cooking, I hate being able to count my ribs and being a walking stick. Am I the asshole for feeling this way?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 4
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
NQAjT8E1ypfTZMJlIqGd0ugCfkkjTDu7
|
b1effn
|
{
"description": "laying off a staff with bad rep",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for laying off a staff with bad rep
|
I work in a third world country in a hotel as part of HR. My job is basically to recruit and retain good people all the while making sure we don’t have bad staff. The hotels here don’t run like other developed country hotels and as such, it is up to me whether I want to keep the staff or terminate them should they do any wrongdoings.
Now I have a staff here who has been working in the hotel for one and a half months. One of my coworkers recruited her directly without exactly checking her credentials and when I found out about I made sure to call her old workplace and find out about her. However, I didn’t hear good words about her as she was known for stealing and being very manipulative. I was also quite shocked as she is performing well st the moment. The manager of that hotel warned and made sure I understood what I was getting myself into if i wanted to retain her.
Ultimately, I made the decision to terminate the contract for fear that she might influence the other young staff or teach them of her ways.
This is where it goes bad. She stormed into the office begging and crying for me not to terminate the contract. She said she had young kids to feed and that I was essentially denying her livelihood. She eventually left but this made me feel horrible about myself. AITA for this? Did I spoil the lives of her family?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
PPaPZm8YrICKO9hwuMF1vF2180PQBSrK
|
agq2qb
|
{
"description": "not wanting to go fishing with my dad",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting to go fishing with my dad?
|
I always feel guilty when he asks the hard hitter, "Want to go fishing with me?" And I can never find an easy response. I don't like fishing because I find it extremely boring and time consuming. I can go with him to his fishing areas just to hang out with him but I tried that once and he forced me to fish.
So AITA for rejecting his invitation to go fishing?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
UugVakpScKyxTLuKTVOPcNNvIgn3ukYD
|
az38qe
|
{
"description": "not liking a Certain Game Mode",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For Not Liking A Certain Game Mode?
|
So, to explain what happened. My boyfriend asked me to play this "new" game, and I did. I bought it, despite having limited money, got on and played with him. The first game I ever played, we played together, and I enjoyed it up until he called me a bitch jokingly, but we worked that part out.
​
The next day, we decided to play the game again, and without knowing, I'm against him. So the whole time, I'm asking him where he is, and what's going on and why everyone is acting funny. He just told me that they were bots. So I start going through the game, and I see him dying, and I ask where he is, and he said he's spectating me. I had NO idea he was on the enemy team trying to kill me.
​
I'm standing in this one spot, and I start to freak out. I don't like when anything (not even bots) relying on me. I don't have any weapons, I'm very damaged, and I'm lost. I ask him to start playing the game with me, and that's when he says he's playing the game. I was clueless that there was a way for him to be on the enemy team, and I said "I don't see you!" and he runs in and attacks me, and my bots help me, continuously he says he's in the game. It didn't click until he super excitedly yelled. "THERE! See! You just killed me! Good job baby!" and then I realized
​
I wasn't playing with him. I was playing against him, which I hate doing because he's super competitive. If we're winning, he gets pissed off and yells we need to give him a break because it's not fair. He'll leave the game entirely if he's losing.
​
I went on with the first game, and I told him countless times I didn't like it, I don't know where I'm going, I'm still new to this, go easy. He would start complaining that I need to learn SOMEHOW, and that's how. I don't want to play a game against someone that's just going to try their hardest against a noob!
​
Of course, he says, "Give it a try!" and I did, and I lost. He sat there and said I did good, I hardly got to the halfway point. I honestly wanted to cry. So, it was my turn to kill him. I didn't understand the characters, and he was just trying to make me understand. I appreciated that, but there was a hidden motive, he would ask me what character, so that he could kill me. He, of course, won that, and proceeded to the next map as the surviving few, again. I was stuck playing this shit I didn't understand. This is when he started making comments.
​
"Why can't you just play this?" "I don't get why you don't like it!" "Of course, why would you ever like something that isn't walking in a straight line killing things." "If you don't want to play it, just leave." Later on, I didn't even spawn in, I sat at the beginning and let bots kill him. He decided to leave the game, not tell me.
​
Am I the asshole for not enjoying playing this game mode against him? It was my second time playing it, I have a total of 94 minutes, and 150 + hours.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
txzv3MYsCNDUoUbgAMMO2fbjGy2irNe9
|
aotgrd
|
{
"description": "hooking up with a friend's ex but recognizing and apologizing for it a week later",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for hooking up with a friend's ex but recognizing and apologizing for it a week later?
|
\~Throwaway account here\~
​
For some backstory, I became really good friends with this guy (I'll call him 'A') and when he ends up getting into a relationship, I meet and befriend his new partner (I'll call them 'B'). Me and B actually hit things off very well and we became good friends, arguably had a better initial connection than what I had with A.
A and B's relationship started getting rocky and they went through a year of getting back together and breaking up (probably like 3 times), and on the last time they broke up, I decided to sit down and have a serious talk about everything with A. A few conversations and a joint later, we were making out and exploring our sexual tension for the first time. We also cared about each other a lot, so we were exploring the possibility of a relationship; this was, however, behind friend B's back. Friend B caught wind that something was up, but didn't really say anything. Fast forward about a week later, me and A decided that a relationship couldn't be a thing and we decided to stop it. I immediately went to B and explained all the awkwardness and everything that had gone on. I recognized everything that I had done wrong and encouraged B to voice any concerns or hurts that they had, though B didn't really say much.
About 3 days after that, I left on a plane for work and wasn't going to return home for about 6 months. Once I touch ground, I get a long, cruel, delusional message from friend B saying that I was scum (among other things) and that he couldn't believe that I lied to him, even though I sat him down and told him everything. Is there something that I should've or shouldn't have done? Cos I feel like I did everything that I should have, or that I would have wanted if this had happened to me.
​
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
f0Gyzka07yjiql6v0Bs8riD72FLqg0Jp
|
9w0nuj
|
{
"description": "wanting to make a noise complaint about my neighbor",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting to make a noise complaint about my neighbor?
|
Heading this off with I have not made any actual complaints to anyone but my husband about this situation.
We bought a house on a dead end street. Everything was nice and quiet over the summer. Over the last month, the neighbor who has property backing up to our yard has been making a lot of noise. They have about an acre of land that butts up to our back yard, and it appears that they have decided to turn it into a race track. They have been driving laps, and revving their engines for what feels like 15 minutes at a time straight (honestly, it's probably only 3-5).
Now, none of this would be that serious of an issue, if it was happening at normal hours. They are doing all this between 8pm and like 3am, even during the week. I'm a light sleeper, so them doing all of this is waking me up, or keeping me awake.
When we were looking at the house and property, there were no signs of them using the yard as a race track. Am I the asshole for wanting to have the cops talk to them about the noise at odd hours? We keep to ourselves, so we have never met, or even seen who these neighbors are, so I would prefer to not confront them directly.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
cyFcCJqZGx03iJdeLIQpTsEt4oWuXHle
|
b2o85p
|
{
"description": "being to snitch on the girl whose house I clean",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
WIBTA if I was to snitch on the girl whose house I clean?
|
I clean houses for a living. Today I was cleaning my friends house, and when I was cleaning her daughters room, I found some stuff. I found marijuana and a few water bottles with alcohol in them. I am pretty close with this friend as we go to church together, and our families have been friends for years. WIBTA if I told her mom about what I found? I feel like I owe it to my friend but I don’t want to regret it later. I just want to make sure her daughter is safe.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 4
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 9
}
|
WRONG
|
SYcZ0JuajDOpfY71OBJF2R6Ehchfbm2a
|
b0tkdg
|
{
"description": "causing one of my players to leave",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for causing one of my players to leave
|
the event i am talking about happend about 3 months ago but i still can't get this off my mind from time to time.
so to give some background the group consisted of me (the DM), my brother, friend 1 which i will call alex, and friend 2 (the person who left) who i will call frank (it was a small group).
my brother and alex are usually very respectful players, but frank didn't, he would often pull out his phone (or even his switch at times) and do literally anything else but D&D. he would often make the excuse of "ohh i only do it when there is downtime" but downtime to him was anytime it wasn't *his*turn in combat meaning i or his friends would often have to recap him almost every 10 min this often lead to him doing the bare minimum. he also had a huge anger problem to the point where if you criticize anything about him he would swear like a sailor and throw a tantrum (was 15).
one day when we were playing and the players had earned a level up to level 14 so i left and when i come back i notice that frank had done nothing so i ask him why and he DEAD ASS SAYS "i forgot how to level up" now keep in mind that up to this point he had played this game for about 21 months and we had leveled up at least over 30 times, when the rest of the party hears this we laugh, all except for frank who just responds with "fuck you guys".
for the start of 2019 my players and i setup a poll where they would vote on who their favorite player characters where that they have ever created and it was all anonymous and online, when no one voted for frank's characters he got mad and said that his characters were great and blamed me for apparently telling them to not vote for his characters.
it is at this point he tells me to come outside,(which when paired with is anger problem was slightly worrying) i come out and my little brother came with him as he was over at his house, frank starts yelling in the street at me saying "fuck you Giraffe\_Man what do you mean i don't do anything" i tell him that " you only roll for attacks and damage, that's it, you don't roleplay, you don't make characters, you don't interact with the other players who are your own dam friends who have gathered at your house for the sole purpose of playing D&D with you, but you only play on your switch and ignore them." to make a long story short we went in a conversational circle for about 15 minutes about \^\^\^ and him trying to say he had good characters with one word personalities such as kinky, bard,or goblin. he ended up storming off and banning me from his house (which was fine i didn't care that much) but not my brother, although he would be leaving frank's house shortly
frank had later said to my brother "fuck Giraffe\_Man and his poor ass" (my parents where going through a rough couple of years financially and my brother wears his heart on his sleeve so this hurt him as he took it as an insult to his family and he hasn't talked to frank since).
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
TiQh5glmcNZePjYVplE1KcIOKwAii58L
|
b25ur2
|
{
"description": "bullying/making fun of this guy",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 20
}
|
AITA for bullying/making fun of this guy?
|
English is not my first language so sorry for spelling mistakes.
Ok so there's this new guy in my class, let's call him BM, and I really don't like him. BM seemed like a nice guy at first, but now I just completely thinks he sucks. He's kinda fat and a little short but that's really not the problem. My main problem with him is his hair. His hair is disgusting. It's shoulder length and it's really messy. Like for real, it looks like he never brush them or even clean them. It's the most tangled hair i've ever seen in my life. It also looks like he has lice since he scratches his scalp really hard. We tried to tell him that his hair is kinda disgusting but he just told us that he has metal hair (he's a big fan of metal band). His hair is really not nice and he doesn't want to do anything about it.
The other problem that I have with him is his attitude. He has the "I'm better than everybody else" attitude. I didn't know it at first but now I know. The first day of school, I was in a class with a world map and he was looking at the map so I decided to join him to talk about the Countries and stuff like that ( I like Countries dont judge me). He was interesting and we talk a bit before the class ended, but that's when he started being kinda obsessed with me. We were almost always in the same class so he would come to my desk and talked to me, even if I already was having a conversation and it was really annoying. I'm the silent type so I'm always listening to music so people don't talk to me but he didn't get the hint. If I saw him walking towards me, I would try to join my other friend on the other side of the class so he would leave me alone, BUT HE WOULD FOLLOW ME!!!! And even if he wanted to talk to me, it would just be some awkward greetings and him just expecting me to continue talking. Like I don't want to talk to you.
Also, I love kpop. Judge me all you want, I don't care. So this one time, me and some of my friends were talking about music and BM was there and he wanted to talk, but not a normal talk, just him shitting on our music. He LOVES metal and he want everyone to know it. He literally said that "kpop and other music isn't musically stimulating enough for him" like bitch shut the fuck stop shitting on the things I love!
Anyways, me and my friends always bitch him because we fucking hate him and I don't know if I'm the asshole for doing so even if he's kinda a bitch.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 17,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 20
}
|
WRONG
|
CtUJJhQkstHUDokl1bviWf43s4qpXU7Q
|
agci4j
|
{
"description": "being ambivalent/somewhat disagreeing with an r/justiceserved post",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being ambivalent/somewhat disagreeing with an r/justiceserved post?
|
Referring to this post here:
[https://www.reddit.com/r/JusticeServed/comments/ag4130/group\_of\_girls\_harass\_guy\_and\_his\_family\_and\_one/?sort=controversial](https://www.reddit.com/r/JusticeServed/comments/ag4130/group_of_girls_harass_guy_and_his_family_and_one/?sort=controversial)
If you can't open the link, a guy and his family are basically being harassed by a group of girls. One girl (who was apparently 11) gets close to the guy and gets shoved back. She comes at him again, and the guy punches her to the ground. The guy would later be arrested and charged with assault.
Now, I'm not gonna defend the girls. They seemed like rowdy ruffians who weren't going to relent in harassing the guy, and *something* had to be done to get them to back off. I also don't think it was fair that the guy was charged but the girls, to my knowledge, got off scot-free, when they were clearly partaking in some sort of harassment.
That being said, I somewhat feel that the guy's punch was somewhat disproportionate to the situation. As someone pointed out in the comments, the guy's original shove did a relatively good job of pushing the girl back, and I feel like the guy could have just stuck to that strategy. From what I understand, punches have the potential to be devastating, causing injuries, brain damage, and so on. The fact that this guy (who by virtue of biology is likely stronger than the girls here) punched out an eleven year old just seems a little excessive.
Now, I get that people do things in the heat of the moment. If my loved ones were being harassed, I'd probably wind up doing something similar. But people seem to be entirely justifying the man's actions, with some going as far to say that he did absolutely no wrong and cracking jokes about the punch, and I disagree with that. If the consensus was "The man did something excessive to protect his family, and that's understandable in the heat of the moment," then I think I'd be in more agreement, but the consensus seems to be that the guy was completely justified.
I've been discussing this with one or two people and have been told that by thinking the guy's actions may have been excessive, I am enabling and defending harassment. I disagree with that, but the group consensus seems to disagree with me. Am I being the asshole here, by thinking this guy went a little far in the heat of the moment?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
HrLjVQ7camQ7nY52JsBbctbebUj6dKQO
|
b9s4k2
|
{
"description": "calling out friend in group message",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for calling out friend in group message
|
My sorority sister borrowed my aloe Vera in like September for a bad sun burn. She said she would give it back soon. Spoiler: she did not. I’ve asked every few weeks in person and in text with her responding ‘oh yes sorry I’ll return it soon’ without ever following through.
I know it would be easy to just buy a new one but I didn’t want to when I knew the one I lent her was basically full. I got burnt on spring break and wanted to use it but she was out of town so I couldn’t get it back. I am really irritated at this point and have asked for it 3 times since then (about a month).
Finally I decided to say in group message, “Hey X! Do you think you could return my aloe!!!” And she responded “Hey AnnaKTrenika I’ll get right on it!” Two days later it was on my counter. I do feel bad about calling her out in front of everyone and I know it probably made me look petty but I think if you borrow something it should be promptly returned.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
3fCJJpjvbUc3dHsGjvtcILWLcKc6cbI4
|
aijar5
|
{
"description": "quitting my job without 2 week notice",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for quitting my job without 2 week notice?
|
I very recently got a job and I absolutely hate it. I tried sticking it out and I don’t want to work here. The thing is a couple people stuck there head out for me to get this job.
I got a job offer for a place I was originally trying to get and didn’t want to take chances by telling them I’d have to start in two weeks.
I’m not one to be a jerk and leave without notice but I feel bad.
P.s this company that I quit is very well staffed and caters to millionaires.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 2
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
S3wECcmGhDvBRCYDCOgFlrTaXaUCVmWv
|
b5m6c4
| null |
AITA My neighbour said I was beating my baby and I snapped
|
In 2016 I moved in with my husband to his house in another city. I am an introvert, so never really talked with my neighbours, and they never tried to have a conversation with me either. One of this neighbours is a middle age woman, single with no children. Her name is Claudia. When I had my baby, 8 months ago, an elder woman that I never saw in my life came to my house to give me congratulations, saying that Claudia told her my baby was born. I found that really weird, because I never spoke to Claudia before, much less about my pregnancy. That bothered me, but I let it go. But not today.
I am depressive and I have panic crisis since my baby was born. But I love him more than I've ever loved anything in this world. He is the only reason I find strenght to continue existing. He is my everything. I would die for him. Even so, I am sick. My husband works until 10pm, and I stay all the day with my baby; I have no family besides husband and my son, and I don't have money to pay for a doctor and antidepressives.
Today my baby was crying a lot. His teeth are growing and he just cries cause of it. But everytime he cries and I don't know how to help him, I feel like an uselles piece of trash, so I drop him in his craddle, go to another room and I scream, cry and wait for my crisis to pass to go to him again.
My husband arrived tonight and told me that Claudia was next to our house, gossiping with another woman, and warned my husband that I was abusing and beating our baby because I was screaming and the baby was crying all day. He assured her that I would never do such thing, but when he told me what she had said, I had a breakdown. The rage was too much. I picked my baby, went to her house and called her until she opened her window. I dared her to come down to check on my baby, if he had any scratches. She tried to argue, said that my baby cried more than normal, and she justs closes her window while I am still talking, then I raise my voice( it was 11pm) and ask her if she had any kids(not), if she knew that babies cried just because that is what babies do, and if she was such a good person, why didn't she went to my house to see if everything was OK, to help me, or to call the cops if I was indeed abusing my baby. I screamed that she is a gossiper and she had her own life to take care of, and to live me alone that I would take care of mine. My husband said I shouldn't had done that, but I was afraid; if I did not showed I had nerve, she would invent stories and I would be known as a child beating. But now I don't know if I was right or if I am an asshole and she was just trying to be a good person.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
RWo269Qt3CfusPKQothmOlqV1DTfn0dP
|
b6upbd
|
{
"description": "not letting all my guests know who's invited for dinner",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for not letting all my guests know who's invited for dinner??
|
I have a close friend Bob. We've been friends for almost a decade. We live in the same city now. Since we've not always been together our friend circles have evolved separately. While we live separately we meet every day after work and have dinner together (a fact most of our common friends are aware of). He introduced me recently to a childhood friend of his (John Doe) whom I've met a couple times in social gatherings. John is about to have a baby and he with his wife were planning for a baby shower and looking for venues. On Bob's idea, John and his wife visited my apartment to checkout our Clubhouse as a potential venue and decided to book it for their event.
This week I invited John to checkout the clubhouse so they can plan their event in more detail which they couldn't do the first time. John and his wife decided to come over to check it out on Tuesday. I invited them to dinner at my house which they gladly accepted. I mentioned about this invitation to Bob when I met him on Monday. Bob was non sure if he should join but I insisted he should. He did not protest my insistence. On Tuesday John decided to move the meeting to Wednesday. I mentioned this to Bob on Tuesday to which his response was not noteworthy/neutral.
On Wed when I talked to Bob, he asked if John knew Bob would be at my house for the dinner. It never occurred to me to mention this to John since I assumed he wouldn't mind if Bob was around for dinner since he is close to Bob. I also assumed he would be more comfortable if Bob was around since this would be the first time me and John (with his wife) would meet in a close setting.
Bob decided not to show up to the dinner because he was not comfortable with the fact that John wasn't aware that Bob would join for the dinner. We had an argument the next day about social norms in general and that if I am inviting someone for dinner they should be aware who else is around.
Bob's point of view:
* He is not comfortable joining for dinner if the other guests are not aware he is going to be around since it feels like he is crashing a party.
* I should not assume what people are comfortable with and make an effort to be transparent.
My point of view :
* Bob and John are close and it was Bob's idea for John to checkout the clubhouse in my apartment to rent.
* John has a general idea of Bob's routine and that we meet daily.
* Bob had 2 days to let me know his feeling instead of throwing a tantrum on the day we were supposed to meet.
* It's my house. I am the one inviting people for dinner. Do I really need to go into details of what social constraints people are comfortable with?
* I think as long as I know two people are on talking terms (not even close friends) I don't really need to try and inform the details of the social setting they are getting into.
* To top it all off, the first question John's wife asked me 10 mins after they arrived, Why's Bob not around and when would he come.
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
WvHo14FnPJWhvca5QrQCqlDp6862dz4b
|
a2b4yw
|
{
"description": "ghosting someone that was going through a tough time even if they were abusive",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for ghosting someone that was going through a tough time even if they were abusive?
|
I love away for college and away from my high school bf. Honestly we hadn’t been dating that long and he was starting to show some true colors. He was struggling with mental health issues as well so I was doing my best to be supportive but when I moved away it got really bad. He demanded to know everywhere I went and started to really make me feel like shit for not constantly checking in on me. I knew I couldn’t do it anymore so I said I wanted to end things. He said if I left him he’d kill himself. I cut contact anyway and haven’t spoken to him in 2 months. I’m constantly thinking “what if he killed himself because of me?”. Maybe I should have talked it out instead of just cutting contact. I just didn’t know what to do. I feel like I killed him even though I don’t know if he actually killed himself. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
Y5r6CqwAFIfimE6IvoUhOlxEE9G21hTj
|
a6h8um
|
{
"description": "constantly getting mad at my girlfriend for us being late",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for constantly getting mad at my girlfriend for us being late
|
Long post to tl;dr at bottom
Whenever me and my girlfriend have to be somewhere at a certain time she somehow always makes us barely get there in time or late. I absolutely hate being late because it makes us look bad and makes my blood boil. I'm always barely on time for work because of her. I am the one who wakes up first and then wakes her up. I always wake her up 1 1/2 hours to 1 hour to give her plenty of time. Now whether or not she stays up is also a problem. Im constantly have to re wake her up and I end up yelling at her because I'll wake her up five or six times and she still won't get up and get ready. Like yesterday for example I had to work at 4 o'clock. I wake up and get her up about 11. She then tells me we have to go to the doctor. And we've had to go many times in the past and she know it takes a very long for us to get in and get our. Well we went and by the time we got there it was around 1:30-2 o'clock. Well we ended up staying until 5:30 and I was 2 hours late to work. This morning I yelled at her because we have to get a tire changed and I work at 1 o'clock and we still haven't left yet. I yelled at her and she started crying because this has become a daily occurrence. I've tried talking with her and it doesn't work.
Tl;Dr. My girlfriend makes us constantly late. Am I the asshole for yelling at her for it
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
RIGHT
|
5SMKVdxI4Go5MKvjbyQt3ES0P8QBfARi
|
b8mi4y
|
{
"description": "not wanting to take in my sibling",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting to take in my sibling
|
So. Throwaway acct. but here it goes.
My spouse and I currently live on our own in our house and we’re 26 years old and expecting our first child this week.
My sibling (16) is still living with our mutual parent. I have never gotten along with our mutual parent as I personally feel they’re a hypocritical pile of shit and a terrible excuse for a parent. Always on her phone, does what she wants at all times with no real thought for the kid, and basically shows no attention to the kid regardless of what the kid wants. Nothing has changed since my sibling has been there
My sibling has some mental problems (bipolar disorder, depression, and a learning disability) that mean realistically sibling should have been given more attention than a normal kid, let alone, the attention they were given
So basically, sibling got caught liking a person of the same sex a state away and my parent freaked out. Calling sibling a demonic spirit and going extremely over the top with their conservative views under attack. Parent threatening to put sibling in a group home. And sibling therefore has spiraled into a bad spot.
Sibling wants to live with me and realistically I know it would be in their best interest because of the situation their in. But frankly, I hate the parent, and the sibling is frankly not very well equipped to handle a job or really any legitimate task due to being taken out of school. But I really don’t want that responsibility of taking care of a child that’s not mine and everything that comes with it, on top of having my own child otw.
So I feel like garbage, because I’m sure I’m being selfish, but I also feel like it’s not my responsibility in the first place. I was hoping parent 2 would step up (parents are divorced) but I think they are in the same boat I am in (which I think is bullshit because it’s their kid).
So AITA for not wanting to put myself and my wife through taking care of my sibling on top of my own child despite the fact that my siblings mental well being would be in a much better place if I did.
Also this is my first post here so I’m sure I’m missing things that would make judgement easier, just let me know.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 16,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 17,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
WstePE95N3FrYoCeyzv4XbcGy1z5yHMk
|
a85k8d
|
{
"description": "not caring about holidays and not wanting to make an extra trip to go see family on the day of",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not caring about holidays and not wanting to make an extra trip to go see family on the day of?
|
Basically title, I have family that lives about 50min away I see them on a weekly basis and do enjoy seeing them. However my girlfriend and I have conflicting schedules and she’s going to go see family in another state while I dog-sit for her, because of this we agreed to make the trip and have an “early Christmas” to see my family and celebrate the holiday.
Christmas Day I was planning on hanging with her dogs and getting drunk alone on holiday wine while playing Smash, my family caught wind of this and now are guilting me into coming and making an additional trip because it’s Christmas claiming “it’s not about me.”
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
aChEYnqOwRRQd2mrzvFu2iIWzugsiUAf
|
b6d206
|
{
"description": "wanting my dog back after he's been with my parents for 2 years",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for wanting my dog back after he’s been with my parents for 2 years?
|
My parents took my dog for what was supposed to be a short amount of time while I dealt with getting some mental health issues under control, but turned into 2 years due to various circumstances on both ends. Things are settled down for everyone now and I really want him back, but now they’re saying they’re too attached to let him go and they don’t think it’s fair for me to take him.
They’ve spent more time with him than I have at this point but I’m still his “person”- if I’m there, I’m the one he follows around and listens to, he gets stressed when I leave, etc... People have suggested him splitting time between us since we only live an hour away from each other, which I wouldn’t mind doing except that any time he’s stayed with me and then goes back to them, he’s standoffish with them for the first few hours and growls at them if they pick him up, which makes me think the back & forth is too stressful for him to do all the time. I also think he needs classes/training for things like that growling issue, but they don’t see it as a problem because he’s generally a super friendly dog, and little.
Anyway, on the one hand I do feel really horrible for wanting to take him away, and for being in a position where they needed to take him in the first place. On the other hand, I really miss my dog and I don’t think it would be a detriment to him to come back with me since I’m the one he’s still most attached to and I would be taking him to class and watching his diet more than they do (but they have a huge yard while I live in the city, and they take good care of him overall so it’s not like I’m saying they suck).
I really hate that the situation is what it is and I know I’m lucky they were willing to help me with him... but I also don’t want this to mean I just don’t have a dog now and that any time I do get to see him he freaks out when I leave.
AITA for wanting to take him back?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 7,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
Ixxkm78qiTsztsN0j8PzPdPy03ItoErs
|
ajgd50
|
{
"description": "taking front seats in theaters, as a tall person",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for taking front seats in theaters, as a tall person?
|
Title basically explains it. Ive seen a suprising number of memes/jokes today about how annoying tall people in movie theaters or concert venues are, and I get it, nobody wants to be behind a giant head the whole show. But, as a 5'11" woman, I paid for my ticket too! The groups ill be in typically choose our seats, and particularly at concerts - I want to see the stage. I have poor eyesight and dont want to miss out on what I paid for just because im tall. Over the years ive had plenty of comments and dirty looks, and while Im generally very accommodating to polite people, Im going to a show later in the week and Im dreading the 'can you scoot down?' that im sure I'll get from the row behind me. Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
8CxvFO6FoTHc0043fjcprW2t3TYW7Yo5
|
ayguez
|
{
"description": "telling people what someone in my class keeps sending me",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
WIBTA for telling people what someone in my class keeps sending me?
|
Okay so I've known this friend for about 3 or so years and its been more of sometimes I'm friends with him sometimes I'm not. A couple months ago he sent me what I would call a weird fetish but if he likes that I can't judge him anyways he "accidentally" sent me that on my phone (link to a video from Youtube I'm pretty sure its deleted) Anyways I thought it was weird and asked a couple close friends for advice and they said to not be his friend but the thing is that I always feel bad when I tell him I would like to stop being friends for a while because he gets pushed around a lot because of his past (I don't know what he did and they won't tell me) Also he used to tell me to look at creepy things while we were at school for spring break, its an afterschool program and my parents wouldn't let me get out of it so I just went to it and there he was in some discord for hentai and porn which he would always tell me to look at while I was trying to do work the teacher assigned to us. (I was mainly just reading stories on don't sleep which definitely is not what our teacher assigned to us but still) I tried to tell him he was gonna get caught and I tried to tell him that we shouldn't be friends many times but each time I just felt too bad for him. He also talks a lot about hentai which I don't know how to feel about, I get it that I shouldn't judge him but if he doesn't want me to judge him then he shouldn't tell me about all his sexual fantasies. I was thinking about telling some people about what hes done to me. I've already told some people and they said that if I feel annoyed and he won't stop I should but I keep feeling bad for him. I'm thinking of showing ALL the proof I have of the stuff he does to me. I have text messages which he sent to me which I could easily show but a person who overheard me and my friends talking said that said that since it happened a while ago I should just forget about it but he still continues to lie. To be honest I think he lies because he has nothing interesting to say because he went to some "party" which he told me what happened and I realized he literally copied it from reddit. Once I was serious that if he keeps on lying to me then I would stop being his friend but he told me it was a lie. Today hes saying that its the truth and its getting really annoying. There is also this whole thing where he broke some kids phone and his parents/he refuse to pay for it so the kids friend is trying to fight him and I also know the kids friend. If he fights him he will get hurt since he can't run for long since he has asthma so that added to my guilt of thinking of not being his friend. If I do tell people then obviously I wouldn't be his friend anymore so I don't know what to do. If I'm not his friend then my friend will fight him and hurt him which I feel bad about so is there anyone who thinks I should stop being friends with him and take revenge?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 1,
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"NOBODY": 1,
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}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
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"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
mHeEyga2xTR8xwTjxcFR5JZKZ6c9iy2P
|
aroajl
|
{
"description": "saying this to my partner",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for saying this to my partner
|
Me and my partner have been lazy, unmotivated and unemployed for our entire adult lives.
I feel myself rotting away.
Today I told him I'm try and better myself. I mean business. I've already quit drinking and smoking and I plan on getting a part time job to make ends meet.
He didn't seem so interested so I said "If in the long run you don't make an effort too, I probably won't be happy."
Just from our past, things we say don't normally happen because once again we've always been lazy and unmotivated.
We rely a lot of our close family and it honestly makes me feel like a leech. I'm sick of it.
He said that what I said was an ultimatum and its manipulative but I don't see it that way and I'm starting to question myself.
I meant it in the way that if I end up being the only provider and I run around after him and he doesn't make an effort, I'll be upset. Thats a genuine concern of mine, so I said it. Then it blew up and I was being manipulative?
I'm really genuinely unsure if I was being a dick or what. Was I too forward? I'm trying to be adult and get better and admit my faults but in this case, I genuinely don't understand where I've gone wrong.
So Reddit, am I an asshole?
P.s - throw away to hide identity
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 15,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 16,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
fxjuLo7okC3xmhFVFWUf9pZdfpP7yk8V
|
a6ir1i
|
{
"description": "getting drunk so I could feel less nervous about initiating a sexual encounter with someone",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I got drunk so I could feel less nervous about initiating a sexual encounter with someone?
|
Okay so a bit more detail on this... let’s start with who drunk me really is. I have two drunk personas:
1. Touchy - I’m super affectionate but really strict on consent when I’m drunk. I won’t even hug you until I’ve asked at least 2 times if it’s okay. But I also get really horny, so I usually just rub one out if I’m not drinking with someone I’d have sex with sober.
2. Crying - I cry easily when I’m drunk but that’s usually when I’m going through a rough patch.
Life is pretty good so I know that he’ll probably encounter touchy drunk. And to make this very clear I do want to have sex with him, but every time we are together and get the chance I get super nervous for some reason. This usually doesn’t happen, I’m usually really comfortable with sex and initiating it is easier than boiling pasta to me.
We have had sex before, but he initiated it and it hasn’t happened since. And there’s been two or three chances in between.
So to give myself a little courage and to let drunk me do her thing, I was thinking about drinking a bit the next time we meet. Not to the level of black out drunk, I’m talking 5 shots max (I’m a big girl with a pretty okay alcohol tolerance). A lasting buzz and a boost in confidence is all I need.
I’d definitely stop if he didn’t like it. It’s happened before, I didn’t purposefully get drunk that time but the person I initiated the sexual encounter with wasn’t into it and I stopped immediately.
So WIBTA If I used alcohol to help me initiate the sexual encounter?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
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}
|
RIGHT
|
zNqliSDnZhliLvufDuNId9N7C32lH4HP
|
amwcci
|
{
"description": "banning someone on my hall from drinking",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA if I ban someone on my hall from drinking
|
On my dorm hall we have an alcohol fund that is around 8 people. I was recently appointed book keeper so It’s my responsibility to keep track of everything.
There’s a kid who came into a pregame and poured himself a drink, when I confronted him he said he paid in last time. I then asked the guy who collected money last time and he said that no the kid did not pay on, instead he paid $5 to drink for a single night.
At this point I just want to ban the kid from consuming or pitching into the fund. He lied straight to my face so I don’t want to handle is money. Is this too mean to effectively exclude him from hanging out?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
2YnHsOOPh09Er3lY8mo4i1wafiOAzi08
|
awno2u
|
{
"description": "not wanting people to come to my band's practice",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting people to come to my band’s practice?
|
So I play in a band with three other people. We’ve only been at it for about a month or two, so a lot of our songs are still being fleshed out and worked on. Due to schedule conflicts, we typically only get to practice two or three days out of a week. Initially, we practiced in the singer’s house, but moved to mine after we started getting noise complaints.
Today, a person who is friends with the bass player and the drummer decided to come to practice after they invited him the previous night. They didn’t ask me before hand, but I normally have no problems with this. I invite one of my friends to come over occasionally, and he will just sit and talk without interrupting too much.
But this guy kept getting on my nerves. He started off by offering to “mix” our amps to try and get things to sound better. But really he just turned everything up and made it sound like shit. Then he kept trying to make suggestions on how the drummer should play at one part, but it didn’t sound good or make sense. He even said he could play drums, but once he tried it was obvious that he couldn’t. Ultimately he just wasted our practice time and everyone else seemed fine with it.
It was really getting on my nerves though. I’m there to practice and get better, and part of that is making the most out of the time that we have. Eventually, we kind of gave up on practicing and started to jam a little bit. Except he had no idea how to play with other people and instead played over us. The singer and the drummer weren’t into it and started doing something else, as did I after a little while.
Everyone started packing up after about an hour of non sensical jamming and started leaving. On the way out, he went to say bye and asked for my name again for literally the 10th time. I’m not the best with names, but holy fuck man. I literally told you it 15 times and it’s not even like I have a complicated or abnormal name.
At this point, I feel like inviting people to practice just isn’t productive and just ends up wasting time. But at the same time, the person that I invite occasionally always just sits and listens to the music without distracting. Im considering telling them that I don’t want any other people over unless I give the green light. I mean it’s my house, so I should be able to control who just stops by.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
rwh7dwhGAqiRSZMhJVk8UVEmjRjuGgcH
|
b29rhr
|
{
"description": "having sex with someone my friend is sleeping with",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA if I have sex with someone my friend is sleeping with?
|
So me and this girl have been friends since I was 16 (22 now) we fell out due to another mutual friend we had and didn’t speak for about a year and have just got back in touch. Whilst we weren’t talking we have both been speaking to the same guy, all of it casual on every side. She had already slept with him, I have been putting it off since we got back in touch. Me and him have this very strong sexual pull and I wanna act on it but I think that might be crossing a boundary, even though they are only “friends with benefits”. He’s told me he will stop sleeping with her if that changes things but I don’t think it will. Even though it would only be sex I feel like that would be very awkward. God knows. It’s not worth breaking a friendship over sex so I think I’ve probably answered my own question. The tension is just building I guess.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
eCi10KtpR9twjFZ9oJBxQjbXcm9dZlyv
|
aolbaa
| null |
AITA When My Best Friend Dated the Guy I Liked
|
Buckle up, fam, because this is about to be a *ride,* whether you agree with me or not.
So, I had two very good friends - my best friend, who we'll call Val, and another, who we'll call Todd. We met in our seventh grade band class, and this story takes place primarily in our junior year of college, so we'd known each other a long time by this point. Val was my absolute best friend - she called my parents "Mama" and "Daddy," and we'd taken her on a family trip to Cancun with us during mine and Val's senior year of high school. We were basically inseparable, to the point that our teachers would get us mixed up sometimes, even though she is a blonde, white girl, and I'm Indian.
Todd and I had a somewhat different dynamic, we communicated mostly through sassing and sniping at one another, especially in high school. However, Todd and I went to the same college, and Val went to one about an hour away from ours. During the first two years of undergrad, Todd and I became very good friends - we lived in buildings right next to each other, and I felt comfortable with him. We were both in the same major, so we spent a reasonable amount of time together without Val around.
During the summer between my second and third year of undergrad, I came down with horrible stomach/intestinal pains. I could barely eat, I had headaches and issues sleeping, and I constantly felt panicked. The doctors said it was acid reflux, which in hindsight doesn't make any sense, but nothing they gave me helped. As I learned later, it was my anxiety manifesting itself in IBS, but from early August through mid-October, I had no idea what was really happening to me or why. It was during this time that I realized that I had feelings for Todd. Maybe it was because we texted every day and his presence in that capacity comforted me, or maybe it just happened that way, but there it was. I couldn't keep a secret from Val for more than thirty seconds, so of course I immediately told her. She had expressed the idea that we would be cute together several times in the past nine years (and many others had mistaken us for dating), so she seemed happy about it. Nevertheless, I was simply feeling too awful at the time to really deal with my feelings - I had an extremely intense course load that semester, and most nights I could hardly sleep due to my yet-undiagnosed anxiety. Val was having a difficult time in school as well, her texts conveying a difficult course load, as well as dissatisfaction with her friends.
One week, she was so miserable that I convinced Todd to drive us both down to her college for the day as a surprise, and went down to spend the day with her, despite having slept all of 20 minutes the night before. At that point, I didn't mind because I would have done anything for her because she was my best friend. The whole day, though, I couldn't shake the feeling that she was basically ignoring me for Todd. I'm generally not a sensitive person, and with everything else going on, I shook off the uneasiness. About two or three weeks later, however, she texted me an essay about how she had feelings for Todd, and she knew I did, too, and that she was sorry about it. I had kind of started to suspect something along those lines before the messages, based on her behavior during our trip and the time a few weeks before that when she was visiting us and did pretty much the same thing. I told her that people couldn't help their feelings, and I didn't want anything to ruin our friendship. I lied. I was *pissed* as anything. I mean, her school had how many thousands of guys? And she had to like the one guy in our entire 9 years of friendship that I had feelings for? But, I really didn't want to ruin our friendship (and I was on some good anxiety meds by then), so I let it go. I was an idiot.
About two days before winter break ended (about two months later, for reference), she texted me that she had something to tell me, and that "I wouldn't like it." At that point, I figured that Todd had asked her out, and that she'd said no, or wanted to ask if it was alright with me, or something. **Wrong*****.*** She was texting to tell me that Todd had, in fact, asked her out, but she'd actually said yes. Fun times. On some level, I could accept that. Her friendship meant a lot to me (even though it was now clear that mine didn't mean as much to her), but I just wanted to know why. Why she would potentially throw away our friendship and my trust to date him. She didn't have an answer for me. I called her because I wanted to talk about it, and she just cried for an entire hour before I felt so shitty about being angry that I had to hang up. I didn't curse at her or anything (I parked my car in an abandoned parking lot and screamed alone for an hour to get it out beforehand), but I definitely wanted to know *why*. And she didn't have an answer, and that made me increasingly angry. I asked her why she would choose him over me, and she just asked me why it had to be a choice. (I have all the texts, but I don't know if you guys want to read them, I can post them if you do.) She basically kept telling me and implying that I was overreacting. I still wanted to fix our friendship though, and Todd and I had a class next semester, so I decided to just try to make my peace with it.
Unfortunately, 'twas not to be. I saw Todd on the first day back, and I asked him how his vacation was. He hadn't messaged me about asking Val out, and I wanted to see if he would tell me. He just made several awkward, panicked faces before mumbling out an excuse and literally running away. I figured he might have somewhere to be, and knew I'd see him the next day in class. He's a leftie, so he usually sits on the left end of the aisle, and I sit in the right handed seat next to him. As I walked into class, he was in his seat, but when he looked over and saw me coming in, he put his backpack on the seat next to him. Message received.
Later that day, I called Val to ask what was up with him, and she told me that he might be a bit awkward because *she told him that I liked him*. Without my permission, she decided to tell something that I told her in confidence to the one person I didn't want to know about it! That was basically the moment that both of those friendships ended for me. I tried to fight it - I went up to Todd before class one day and told him it was fine, that I was over him, and that we could just be friends and that was perfectly okay (it didn't fix things), and I made efforts to talk to Val, but I didn't trust her any more, and I couldn't fix that. Before all this, I was always the one who texted her first, and she texted back somewhere within 24 hours. After, I eventually stopped texting first, and I didn't really volunteer any personal information about my life because I simply didn't trust her any more.
It has been a year since all of this happened, and I've been reflecting a lot about everything that happened. I still miss them as my friends and cherish all (okay, most) of the time we spent together, and I can't help but wonder if I was the asshole who over-reacted.
(In case you were wondering, they broke up after around two or three months, and Todd was immediately sleeping with a British exchange student, who told me all about it, since she didn't know I knew him.)
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
QXKgY9VhaYyNs293VxGmzanXFd4VGKJv
|
aqby9k
|
{
"description": "not wanting my friends boyfriend to join our plans this weekend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting my friends boyfriend to join our plans this weekend?
|
My friend and I made big plans for this Friday a couple months ago, at the time she was not dating this guy but they ended up meeting during the month of January. I told her on Monday that I do not want this dude there with us because to be honest the guy is annoying and cocky. I didn't tell her the part about him being annoying or cocky but that's how a lot of us feel about him. AITA for saying that?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
7HDCIkDnBOkWQHxFdS3qRUVL0oK3QTDq
|
b1b2q8
|
{
"description": "telling this girl to mind her own business when she was asking my friend about my financial status",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA- for telling this girl to mind her own business when she was asking my friend about my financial status??
|
So I’m an 18 year old girl who goes to college and I have this little group of friends. this one girl (lets call her T) so we aren’t putting peoples names out there, asks my friend L “ where do you think all of her money goes?”
Mind you this girl doesn’t pay bills and she doesn’t work so she has no idea what it’s like to be a full time college student and be working too because she doesn’t have a job
Then she made a comment to L the other day about how I shouldn’t be spending my money on getting my nails done and this and that. And how she doesn’t know how I can afford all these things because I say I’m “broke”.
I’m not broke to the point where I don’t have any money I just have to watch what I’m spending.
L just told me this today because she’s didn’t want to start drama but T basically pushed her to her limits and snapped so L decided to tell me
I don’t really have a relationship with T but the fact that she is going and talking crap about my financial situations to other people isn’t really any of her business. She also doesn’t know as much about my back ground as L does, and L is basically her only friend on campus. Her boyfriend is in the military so she really doesn’t have anyone.
T is the type of person to try to instigate a situation. For an example I texted L one day while she was still in class and T looked over to her and asked her, are you not texting her back because you don’t like her or something? And L just said no I’m just paying attention to the notes. These are the type of people that make me mad because I thought we would be done with the petty bs in high school, guess not
I really tried not to get pissed off by this but T isn’t really close to me and she doesn’t have any business asking other people about MY money that I earned in my opinion.
I told L that I wanted to text her and tell her how I felt but L doesn’t want me too because she wants me to confront her in person which is also a good idea.
Am I am ass hole for just wanting to put her in her place and to tell her she was wrong?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
BKd4JuwkAVtHJcPLs2ywRHUY46D5Vv3c
|
b3a6pp
|
{
"description": "being upset with my ex",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA For being upset with my ex?
|
My girlfriend and I met through work. She recently broke up with me for understandable reasons. I had been thinking of breaking it off, stopped going over to her house, and stopped making too much of an effort. She (rightfully in my mind) broke up with me. Well, the next couple of weeks she would come over and play sims and drink with me until we got drunk and fucked. Also we agreed to still be "best friends". This happened at least three times in two weeks. We are still very good friends and work together too. Well a couple days ago the employees went out to a bar for a little r&r and after the bar closed the closest 5 of us went back to one of the employees houses. Let's call this guy Rick. We all went to Rick's house late late at night. Maybe 2 or 3 in the morning. I was getting tired and decided to uber home. The ex stopped me and asked if I was okay. I said yeah; just drank too much and am going home. She said okay and I left alone. Well the next morning she invites me to breakfast and I agree. We meet at a taco place and she reveals that she slept with Rick after I left. I tell her it's all good and she is her own person and she can do whatever she wants. Rick also asks me if its okay. Well I am extremely upset and I dont think this is okay at all. I'm mad at both parties and I don't know what to do. Am I the asshole for wanting them to cut it out, or can they date because I broke up with her?
TLDR: girlfriend and I break up, she fucks one of my only co-workers/good friend. I'm upset, but should I be allowed to be?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
qHGEGgptdALKRJaD7VeukggtMpkVRocF
|
aj1jpx
|
{
"description": "exposing my buddies reddit account to our other buddies",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 57
}
|
AITA for exposing my buddies reddit account to our other buddies?
|
Backstory: A couple months back I was lurking on my local communities' subreddit and was commenting on a post of someone who got a job and would be moving to the area and wanted to low down on apartments/housing/etc. While I was lurking on that post, I immediately noticed another account that I new for sure belonged to a local friend of mine. How did I immediately know it was my friends you may ask? Well I live in a small mountain community so its already a limited pool of people who would be commenting on this post AND he used his first name plus the first 3 letters of his last name as his account name ... suffice to say it was completely obvious that this account was his. Of course curiosity got the better of me and I browsed his history (nothing special or relationship changing) and then moved on with my life.
Fast forward to yesterday at the bar for trivia night with the friend, me, and some other buddies: In between the trivia rounds we conversate, as folks do, and somehow reddit came up in the conversation and I told the story to everyone how I found my friends reddit account. My other friends egged me on to show me his account so I did. I didn't think much of it as its just a reddit account and he doesn't post deplorable shit or anything embarrassing; the most he does is shit post about sports but even then its hardly shit posting. I also didn't think its a big deal b/c I'm just not the type of person that takes reddit too seriously.
WELL my friend DID think it was a big deal and got somewhat irate. At first I thought he was being sarcastic but he was actually a little bit bothered. He claimed that I had broke some sort of sacred reddit code where one does not expose reddit accounts to the meat realm... this secret code is news to me? I fired back a lil and said something to the effect of "what the hell do you expect if your posting on small local community subreddit with almost your entire name as your username". Anyways, my other buddies made fun of him for getting 'triggered' and we got over it but I promised him I'd make this post to get to the bottom of this.
AITA for exposing my buddies reddit account to our friends IRL?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 56,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 57
}
|
WRONG
|
KlGXIyDOpvmyNu3NZv6gNPPztl9bhsMx
|
aksk8s
|
{
"description": "\"vetting\" GF's male friends",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 50
}
|
AITA for "vetting" GF's male friends?
|
So, new acc since people know I use Reddit. Anyway, me and my GF, "Jenna" have been together now for about 8 months, and things have been pretty fine. She's fairly outgoing and has many friends, some of them are dudes. The thing is, I don't trust her guy friends. I know there's at least one of them that probably wants her, and as such I like to check out her guy friends, to see what they are like, and what their intentions are with her. Just to make sure they don't try to hit on her, or god forbid, actually get her to cheat or some shit.
I'm not threatening, I'm just taking note of them. There was this one guy, who seemed pretty interested in her romantically, and tbh, I don't trust people like him around Jenna. I'm fine with her having lady friends, as long as they don't go too in-depth about me, and the relationship stuff, but I don't see what she's got to do with those other guys TBH.
Anyway, she recently pieced together that a lot of her guy friends have the same story about me, and she got really pissed at me. She said I was "sexist", "controlling" and "paranoid", and needed a day or 2 alone. She's back now, and things are pretty calm, but I still think about that argument. Was she right? Am I an asshole, or controlling or whatever, for making sure her guy friends aren't up to some shit. I just don't trust them, and wanna make sure they are good guys.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 49,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 50
}
|
WRONG
|
XDEpIeE1jcrivzuhcPnm4mJDuEkgzTpZ
|
a340zj
|
{
"description": "not saying sorry to a beggar when not giving him money",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not saying sorry to a beggar when not giving him money?
|
So this happened a couple months ago but this is something that I still think about from time to time.
I'd managed to bum a cig from a friend and while I was outside smoking with him, a beggar asks me for money.
I decided not to apologise or use some excuse to not give him money, and to just say no. I figured that I didn't need to pretend that I'm sorry if I'm not, and I've got every right to turn him down.
Anyway, I say no and so he then asks me for a cigarette. I could've truly said I had no more, but I say no again.
He asks me, "can I have the cigarette you're smoking now, then?" and I say no again.
He says "if you say no one more time, I'll knock your fuckin' head in." I say "alright then, I'm gonna go inside", and as I walk off he says "yeah but you're gonna give me that cigarette first" - I'm feeling annoyed because he's ruined my cig and so I throw it on the floor and stamp it out. He follows me inside and I have to rush to the counter for help since there were no bouncers.
AITA for not being respectful and polite to him? I definitely will be in future, even if I mean it even lesser-so than ever, but was I an asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
WNuJp6cg0IUVc4kNBwRfTCOi5hkBvJ1K
|
azfg6o
|
{
"description": "\"tattling\" on my boyfriend to his mother",
"pronormative_score": 207,
"contranormative_score": 24
}
|
AITA for “tattling” on my boyfriend to his mother
|
My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years, and things were great until our daughter was born 6 months ago.
Since then, our relationship has gone down the tubes because he refuses to care for her. He’ll sit on the couch and play video games and he’ll only tend to her while she’s screaming if I tell him to. Even then, unless I’m in the middle of doing something right then, he’ll ask me why I can’t just do it instead. On top of that, he only holds her if I hand her to him while he’s watching tv and she’s calm. He stays up late playing video games but still won’t get her when she cries, so I have to get up with her. We’ve talked about it multiple times, to the extent that I’ve told him I can’t handle it anymore, and he improves for a week and then goes back to his old ways.
I’m honestly considering filing for divorce but tried one last ditch effort. I put the baby in his gaming room and told him I was leaving. In reality, I just went to the gas station because I felt like I couldn’t trust him, and sure enough when I got back the baby was screaming and he was ignoring her. I took a ~10 second video of this and after I comforted the baby, I sent it to his mother with an explanation of what’s going on.
She called him and absolutely reamed him for it and now he’s upset with me for involving his mother and for “taking a video out of context.” I’m at my wits end and will probably leave him at this point, but AITA for sending the video?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 11,
"OTHER": 205,
"EVERYBODY": 13,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 5
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 207,
"WRONG": 24
}
|
RIGHT
|
5HyrTZYE1Qi7xdqkR8SnhOMx5qVnhLj7
|
ajfqng
|
{
"description": "using this to cut contact",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for using this to cut contact?
|
I just wanted to say thank you to all of those who commented on my other post about my sibling.
Throwaway for reasons.
So two weeks ago it was my birthday. We have a tradition in our house that no matter what we always go to see the birthday person and wish them HB in person.
My older sibling who I have an on/off relationship with stated that as they have taken their medication they could not come. They didn't tell me this, they relayed it to a family member.
For some context I'll refer to my sibling as M. If M is going through anything **you must drop everything and help**. If you're at work, you gotta leave, if you're ill, you gotta get better and go help.
When it was M's step children's birthday, they demanded that I come and help with decorations and bring a gift. I had had an operation the day before and was feeling very raw. Despite this, I ran like an idiot looking for gifts that the step kids wanted as my original gift "wasn't good enough".
When I did arrive, bearing in mind I worked 30 miles away from them, I got berated for being late and wet (I had ran in the rain) and getting their banister wet.
There are many examples of me having to drop everything to accommodate M.
Fast forward to my birthday. I did get a HB wish by text from them. They had called my folks and asked what we were eating and what cake would they be getting (I didn't know this until a week later).
The assured everyone that they would be here. I get home at 6pm, it gets to about 9.30pm and no one's home. My cousins call and explain their stuck in traffic which I totally understand.
My cousins get in and explain that M won't be coming as they've taken medication and now they have a headache. I then found out they went to see their partner instead. M has no medical conditions and has a very bad case of "One up syndrome". If you're ill, M is halfway through the black plague.
I feel hurt and stupid for expecting anything else. I thought this time they would actually come and change.
AITA for this being the last straw to keep in contact with them?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
4I3sSJ2TP0oJvPwFGsNiOcp6qM5lvpDF
|
awwk2d
|
{
"description": "not caring about my Ex girlfriend's well being",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not caring about my Ex girlfriend’s well being?
|
My girlfriend cheated on me with some guy we used to go to school with. I only found out after his girlfriend found out and told me and showed me messages she got off her boyfriends phone. We live rent free in a house my mom owns and she has been given a 30 day notice that she will be evicted. I know she has no where to go. I work full time and she works part time but most of her income goes to paying her student loans. Most of my friends and even some of her friends agree that I’m right to kick her out but they think that some of the neglect I’ve been showing her is not right. I’ve stopped buying groceries for 2 and am only shopping for myself now. She can afford some food but there are times when she goes to sleep hungry. I’ve also stopped giving her rides to and from work. Her job is a 25 minute walk from the house. She gets out at 11:30 pm and even when we were dating I would usually have to stay up and be tired just to go get her. There was one instance in which I refused to go get her so she walked home at night. The house is in a pretty good neighborhood with a lot of families but people still think I should’ve gone to get her. I’ve been questioning if me not caring about her makes me an asshole ( why I’m using a throwaway). I’m not going out of my way to make her life worse I’m just not going out of my way to make it better like I used to
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
vq0ssmj7ujxogNVlpSzByyL1Qqs6lqYI
|
a689jb
|
{
"description": "choosing to spend Christmas with my girlfriend's parents instead of my own",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for choosing to spend Christmas with my girlfriend's parents instead of my own?
|
For the last few years I've spent Christmas and new year with my girlfriend at her parent's place both because I want to be with her and she wants to be with her parent, but also because I don't want to choose between either of mine who are divorced.
My parents split about ten years ago and are on speaking terms but aren't friends, additionally while they wont admit it they seem to take offence if I spend any extended time with the other. So I made a conscious decision to not spend with time with either of them to avoid hurting the other one, but this year I've gotten strong hints from both of them and their respective side of the family that I should want to spend the holidays with them.
I love being with my girlfriend, her family are all very kind and it makes the end of the year a lot easier and stress free for me. But I don't know, AITA for choosing to spend Christmas with my girlfriend's parents instead of my own?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
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