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a8ajbm
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{
"description": "dating my best friend's sister",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for dating my best friend's sister?
|
So I recently began dating someone I have had feelings for for a very long time. We've both liked each other since highschool but it has always been the wrong place or the wrong time. The problem is her brother is a very close friend and he doesn't seem to be okay with it. He hasn't come out and said it but he barely even acknowledges my existence anymore. The two of them have been arguing a lot lately too and while he won't say it I feel like it is because he feels betrayed. To add some context I met this girl first and then him through her. It's always been obvious we liked each other. Her parents even reacted with "Well it's about time." I know he knew and it never bothered him until we actually started dating a few weeks ago. Am I the asshole here or does he need to get over it?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 1,
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"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
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NOBODY
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{
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"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
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|
a7junv
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{
"description": "not trying 100% in school",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not trying 100% in school?
|
So I'm currently in grade 10 with +90% in high school and everyday I get home from school, my father asks me what I learned. I usually say nothing because the material isn't noteworthy or just because I actually didn't learn anything. Anyways, my father goes on a rant and keep telling me how I'm gifted and how I should use my full potential in school. He tells me very frequently about how I did better than him at school when he was a kid, but every time I achieve a grade that's not perfect he tells me I'm not trying hard enough. AITA for ignoring his advice and not putting as much effort as I should be?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 2,
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"NOBODY": 3,
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}
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NOBODY
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{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
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|
atrdsz
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{
"description": "showering late at night next to a sensitive sleeper's room",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for showering late at night next to a sensitive sleeper’s room?
|
My roommate is pretty sensitive to a lot of things - noise, dirt, things being out of place, etc. I moved in recently. He is generally a pretty nice and reasonable person, but I definitely feel like I walk around eggshells on him because he is definitely not one to not express when something is not how he likes it- which is fairly regularly.
I’m a bit of a night owl and sleep late, and also shower at night. In part (but not primarily) because morning showers are more likely to get in the way of other people’s’ work commutes. This roommate’s room is right next to our bathroom, and as a result can hear when I shower in the bathroom. I don’t feel like I should switch my entire schedule around for him— perhaps augmented by a feeling that he otherwise dictates much of the apartment’s ongoings— but I also recognize that being a light sleeper is not something you can help.
AITA for wanting to keep my shower schedule? Should I just shower a bit earlier? Or should I just try to keep the noise down in the bathroom as best I can? Trying to be reasonable but stand my ground as an equal roommate in the house.
Thanks!
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
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NOBODY
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{
"RIGHT": 5,
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RIGHT
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|
akwewy
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{
"description": "having thoughts of breaking up with my gf, but only when she's on her period",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for having thoughts of breaking up with my GF, but only when she's on her period?
|
Fairly self-explanatory title
​
Backstory: Every time she gets her period she gets really emotionally needy. Like if I'm not with her 24/7 then she gets really sad. She also gets annoyed by EVERYTHING. She'll go on facebook and read someone's profile and they're too extroverted for her so she gets annoyed for the next 3 hours. Everything I do is always wrong and makes her mad, so she gives me the silent treatment. I let her have space and it makes her madder, but when I try to comfort her and ask what's wrong she gets upset that I am pestering her. She also gets very "depressed". She's down on herself cuz she doesn't get straight 100% on every assignment. She is self-diagnosed depressed, but absolutely refuses any type of help when I lightly suggest it. It is so emotionally draining to be her therapist for the week when its little problems that set her off like her roommate saying her homework is hard, and my girlfriend gets mad cuz her homework is harder cuz shes in engineering.
We are both 19 and have been together for a little over 2 years, and she is my first girlfriend so I don't know if this is something that is usual for girls or specific to her. I know her hormones are the cause of it, but I always think of breaking things during the week. I didn't do it the first time because we are both on the same sports team and that is drama I don't want. Every time after I remind myself that I made it through the last time, so I can make it thru this one. I spoke to some friends and got mixed responses, some saying I'm the Asshole for "leading her on" and some say that what I go through is normal.
I'm just really conflicted because I absolutely don't want to lead her on or anything, but I don't know if these thoughts will ever dissipate. So Reddit AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
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|
b2g97c
|
{
"description": "blabbing about a buddy's lies to his GF",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for blabbing about a buddy's lies to his GF?
|
Throwaway, because reasons. Also, mobile. Apologies if needed.
Situation is complicated, but I'll try to be as to the point as I can. Buddy of mine (let's call him Arthur) has been dating this girl (let's call her Carol) for a few years now, sorta on and off as they have their ups and downs. One big down they have is that Arthur tends to keep a lot of secrets from Carol.
My usual policy is to not interfere in others' relationships, so I don't usually ask to meet who friends are dating (makes it easier to not get into sticky situations) and even when I do, I don't try to befriend them, or interact with them without friends around. Now, you might call that a lot of negative things, and I will likely agree with you. I am not here to win nice guy, or 'nice guy', awards.
Problem for me started when Arthur asked another buddy of mine (we'll call him Roy) and I to help him out. Carol had wanted to try playing an MMORPG and had asked Arthur to join her and her friends in doing so. He wasn't a big fan of MMOs, and knew that Roy and I had been looking for a new MMO to occupy our free time. So after a bit of begging on Arthur's part, and Carol herself talking to us excitedly about the game, Roy and I agreed.
If any of you don't know, playing an MMO as a small guild sorta requires members to interact with each other pretty regularly. So after a few months of it, I got to know Carol and her friends and them me.
It was around this time that Arthur and Carol started to have one of their down periods in their relationship. Carol had found out that Arthur had lied to her about going on a group lunch meeting just to meet another girl he apparently had a thing for before. When she confronted me about the lunch meeting, I (at this point, was unaware of any issues between them regarding this girl) confirmed details she asked about.
Arthur is understandably pissed at me for "blabbing", while Carol is pissed at him for lying to her when she confronted him before revealing I had confirmed the details.
Since I'm friends with her friends, they told me I did the right thing by telling her. But mutual friends of mine and Arthur's tell me I'm a traitor for doing so. I tried to talk to Arthur to try to tell him to just come clean with her, but he has ignored all my messages.
So, after that mouthful... AITA here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
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OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
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|
a1v1ph
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{
"description": "quitting a play because they cast my sister and I as a couple",
"pronormative_score": 24,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA for quitting a play because they cast my sister and I as a couple
|
Backstory: I auditioned last week for my middle/high school’s production of High School Musical. I felt really good about my audition, I sang really well for once, and I thought that my line reads were good. I was really hoping I’d get a Troy or Chad.
Good news: I got Chad
Bad News: My sister got Taylor, the character’s love interest.
So I check the cast list, see my name as Chad, and am super excited. But when I see my sister as Taylor, my heart drops. Now, don’t get me wrong, my sister’s a great singer and actress, and she deserved Taylor. She was as good as anyone else at the audition, but she was in 6th grade, so I didn’t expect her to get the part. I wasn’t even concerned. The theater group chat I’m in is 20% roasting me (dicks but I love them so that didn’t hurt me or anything), and 80% “oh god that’s kinda fucked”. I talk to my parents about it, and then I text one of my three directors asking what the extent of their relationship is, and she says they have a couple of lines at the end involving it, but she’s “willing to adjust”. Now just the fact that they have a romantic relationship makes me uncomfortable, especially considering most of the other people in my school have seen high school musical, so they’d know the characters are romantically involved, and know my sister, so I’d probably get insulted and shit for months. Either way, still willing to negotiate, Coach Bolton, a much smaller role, is marked as TBA and I’d be willing to take him, but I really would’ve liked Chad because we have a awards show in our area and it’s my last year I’ll be able to participate, I’m moving. Now about 20 minutes ago, my father calls from the play he’s in right now where two of the said directors are present.
It turns out they’d never even read the script for the play they’re directing or seen the movie.
Now, I’m incredibly pissed. Who doesn’t read the script before casting a show? I’m so angry at this point I’m considering just quitting without hearing their other avenues. Is that fair? I really have no interest in dealing with people who had their first read of the script after the casting, and I definitely don’t want to be with my sister. So Reddit, WIBTA?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 23,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
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"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 24,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
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|
agvdka
|
{
"description": "not wanting to share a hotel room with a coworker",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to share a hotel room with a coworker?
|
I'm a light sleeper and I'm sitting in bed not getting any rest tonight dealing with snoring and farting to put it bluntly. I'm probably checking out and going to stay at a friend's house nearby but I'm wondering how accepted this practice is in companies? I'm 44 and coworker is older, I have a decent sort of IT related job and I'm sort of thinking I'm too old for this shit. Previous company didn't do this to me, this company still has a lot of small company traits like this one.
Some of them are great but this one stinks. Literally.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
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|
ajpvtp
|
{
"description": "moving someone else's laundry when their clothes were sitting in the machine",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for moving someone else's laundry when their clothes were sitting in the machine?
|
Title. I am sitting here waiting to put my laundry in the 1 washing machine we have at my building. There is a load in the wash that has been done for \~30 minutes, and I have stuff to do with the rest of my day. Is it a violation of personal space or privacy to move someone's laundry over to the dryer, to open the spot for myself? Keep in mind, there was no queue for more laundry to be done, just the load sitting in the washing machine.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
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|
a0ik2l
|
{
"description": "calling a girl in my class fat",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 10
}
|
AITA for calling a girl in my class fat?
|
A bit of back story: I'm a guy. There's a girl in my class you keeps whining about her being fat and that its a "disease". Everybody knows its not fucking true cause she eats half the fucking cafeteria on breaks. She got called out a few days ago for eating too much and she still wont it go. Today she was having another yell at some one for bringing it up and I told her to stfu and lose some fckng weight on a treadmill and not eat so unhealthy. She got fucking hysterical and started crying. I didn't feel bad because she was so bitchy about everything. Her close friends called me an asshole.
I don't know if she really does have a disease or disorder of some sort, so maybe I am a huge asshole. So, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 10
}
|
WRONG
|
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|
9u5fxp
|
{
"description": "picking fights and arguing on the internet",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for picking fights and arguing on the Internet?
|
Let me just start by saying that I know perfectly well that arguing in the internet is stupid and rarely results in both parties reaching an understanding.
That being said, I love picking fights with people that I disagree with. Most of the time, I don’t even care about the issue, I just want to argue my point until I get bored, the other person stops responding, or we find common ground. Most of the time, because of the subreddits I frequent, my side of the argument is favored by the majority, so it’s kind of a waste of time because the people I am arguing with are either trolls or they have been downvoted into oblivion for disagreeing with everyone else.
To be fair, if their comments are consistent with the post and they don’t seem like trolls, I’ll upvote then because I don’t believe votes should be used for disagreements, only for filtering out useless comments that don’t contribute to the discussion.
So, am I the asshole for starting an argument, regardless of what the argument is about?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
WRONG
|
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|
a0zmwk
|
{
"description": "Shit talking Ex friends",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for Shit Talking Ex Friends
|
I'm gonna rewrite this as short and sweet as I can
A few months ago I lost my best friend after a long and close relationship, over..I dont even know..so I'll go over a timeline of sorts. (Names changed for privacy)
___________
- Me and best friend(Bill) belong to an outfit of friends, important ones that'll come up later will be Pablo, Wilson, Tony, and Ike. Just like every other friend group we like to make fun of eachother, brutally. Over race, weight, social skills, etc.
- Bill and I are playing something on Xbox when I leave to go grab something and take a bit longer than expected.
- I come back to find Bill has left the game and is now in a party and playing with Tony and Ike. Tony's okay, but Ike is someone both of us dont like tbh, we tolerate him cos he's Pablo and Wilson's friend.
- Sent a message to Bill "You ditched me for a Mexican and a wannabe fuckboi?". Got a message back "At least Tony and this bitch aren't breathing all heavy in my ear, ya fatass" Laugh it off, continue life.
**2 WEEKS LATER**
- Some shit goes down and me and Bill are excommunicated from the group.
**4 MONTHS LATER**
- Get text from Wilson "That sneak dis tho", ask for clarification, he sends a screencap of the aforementioned messages between me and Bill. Text back "Well, Tony IS Mexican and not really, cos I've called Ike that plenty of times" also "Why do you have access to a private convo between me and Bill?", says he used to watch Netflix with Bill's account.
- Text Bill and tell him the situation and that maybe he should change his password.
**2 WEEKS LATER**
- Go out on the town with Bill, he drops me off and I get a text from Pablo (in the Xbox App) "That sneak dis tho", text back "what? The Mexican, wannabe fuckboi thing" get a text back "Sorry, you must have the wrong account". Realized I got baited for a vulgarity report.
- Not long after I get a text from Ike, "fuck you u fat stupid bitch dont be talkin shit bout me cuz I have friends that u dont. Fuck u fatboy"
- Microsoft must've been hungry cos they jumped on that shit within hours, like it was the last piece of pizza on the pan. I get a 2 week suspension for racial insensitivity and cyberbullying.
- Call support and explain that these people used to be my friends and we did this all the time, and they just baited me for a report out of context. They tell me a suspension needs to be on record for this but for some unknown reason it gets knocked down to a 2 day suspension. Feeling a bit sour I also whisper in their ear shout a truly vulgar message I got from somebody just a few hours ago. I know they aren't gonna do anything about it, buy I felt better telling them and imagining that they would. Finally, text Bill the situation and go to bed.
- Next day Bill comes over with something I left in his car, and pulls me into the hall, he says "lose my number and dont talk to me anymore, I dont want to be friends with someone like you"
- break down in the hall as my mom texts Bill and asks him why. Bill says he thinks I'm a bad person, and an asshole. I text Bill and ask for an explanation, Bill says I'm a shitty person, I should've just let it go, and I should've never talked shit about them behind their backs. Even though he did too all the time, when we were all friends and we weren't. Because we all knew we did, and none of us gave a shit. And none of us ever said anything we wouldnt say to their face.
**A WEEK LATER**
- Text Wilson about the whole situation cos me and him, out of everyone, are still kinda "good" or neutral at least, and come to learn that Bill went behind my back about a month after our excommunication and made amends with all them and started hanging out in secret. I wouldnt have given a shit, but I at least would've liked to be told that he was tryna make things right with them.
___________
So....AITA?
TL;DR best friend broke up friendship for something I said about some ex friends of ours, after also saying things but then making up with them without telling me.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
WRONG
|
dFXcmrUzxDCAxnfi86swcUrKXqdwVv3X
|
anc5i5
|
{
"description": "not believing I'm in the wrong",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not believing I'm in the wrong?
|
I wrote a huge post and realized I was giving too much info, I'll try and keep this short.
AITA for not thinking I'm in the wrong? I have very few friends, and so I try to hang out with them as much as possible. Unfortunately, a lot of their schedules are mixed and hard to pin down.
So I tried to invite one of my friends to hang out. She couldn't, and we settled on a "Maybe next time". A few days later, no follow up on friend one and hanging out, I decide to invite a different friend out to a dinner. My treat. Friend says yes, and we start planning. Friend one texts me after I set plans with friend two, asking if we were still hanging out the next weekend.
Now honestly, I would have invited friend one. I love her dearly and obviously want to hang out with her. But I don't have the money to treat more than myself and one other to a dinner that costs $50+ (I'm on freelance work, I don't get paid much and haven't had a job in a while).
Apparently, it didn't matter what I said anyway. Because friend one and two were talking behind my back about how rude I was to not have friend one in mind while planning a dinner.
We settled on going dutch, but I'm still upset about it. What does it matter if I invite one friend and not the other? I had no obligation to hang out with friend one. I'm upset that friend two would tell friend one in the first place, because who goes and tells another friend that they're being (not purposefully) excluded?
I love both my friends with all my heart but I feel like they don't realize that I can invite one friend to something without the other NEEDING to be there.
AITA for not thinking I did wrong in inviting one friend and not the other?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
QhTr5fufUqBinUfqNMp1B9d7zCKJddMS
|
b4kpvg
|
{
"description": "not allowing my sister to bring her daughter to my apartment",
"pronormative_score": 33,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA For Not Allowing My Sister To Bring Her Daughter To My Apartment?
|
My sister has a 7-year-old daughter who is always asking to come to my apartment because she knows I collect dolls and stuffed animals. She has been begging more recently because she was told that I have a "giant Princess Peach" in my living room. (It's a 5'9" mannequin dressed up as Princess Peach.) My sister is telling me that I'm being mean and making her daughter upset by not letting her come to my apartment. I'm just really worried that her daughter will mess up my collections or possibly ruin the dress on the mannequin. I don't know if I can trust her to not mess with anything while she's here.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 29,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 33,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
RIGHT
|
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|
acygxn
|
{
"description": "not wanting my MIL in my home while I'm in labor",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting my MIL in my home while I'm in labor?
|
burner account because I know I know people who've read these, at least in the past, but here's the story--
My husband(41M) and I(34F) are expecting our first child in March, and after a lot of research and discussion, we've decided to have a home birth and only go to a hospital in case of emergency. My MIL(65F) has been supportive and involved from the very beginning, and I definitely appreciate it, since she's an hour's drive away while my parents are across the country. However, she's also very sensitive to rejection, whether it's real or imagined, and I know I hurt her feelings when I told her that we're planning for the labor and first few hours to be just us, our midewife team, and the baby. No neighbors, no one from church, no friends, no family, not even her, until we've had some time as just the three of us.
(my perception of) her side of it: She gave birth to two children (including Husband) at home and has experience. She loves us. She wants to support us and help out while we're occupied with Having A Baby. She wants to be there for her grandson's first moments.
my side of it: I'm worried that letting her into the house will open the door for other well-wishers before we're ready for them. Since they live so far away, my own parents won't be able to meet him in person for at least a week. She might want to bring my SIL, who is great, but not experienced, and will be just another person. Our house is small-- it's not like there's somewhere for anyone to wait that isn't right in the middle of everything for who knows how many hours while I yell and moan and have contractions. I feel like it's one thing to wait in a hospital waiting room for a nurse to bring you in, and another to wait in the living room while I'm a wall away. My MIL is also very happy to offer advice, and I don't want that while I'm busy with a baby. Last one, which is a little petty: she <i>loves</i> posting pictures to facebook, and I don't know what she might choose to show people that maybe I don't want them to see.
Husband has promised to keep her updated with texts and phone calls, and let her know as soon as the baby is born to come see him. I appreciate everything she's done/is doing in the months leading up to it, but I don't want her literally, physically there while I'm in labor. AIAH?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
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|
ba3zvb
|
{
"description": "agreeing with my friends that my wife is fat",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 32
}
|
AITA for agreeing with my friends that my wife is fat?
|
I love my wife, but she is not small. I mean she is only about 5 feet tall, but she's 140lbs, which is pretty big for someone her height. She's curvy, yes, but has a floppy stomach and flab on her arms and thighs, etc.
Let me be clear: I have never cared that this is the case. I love her. I'm attracted to her. She has healthyish habits, I think she just sometimes overindulges in things like beer and ice cream. She's definitely not an alcoholic, but beer calories add up. I would prefer my wife be somewhat fat than be someone who is obsessed with staying 90lbs (not that there's anything wrong with that, it's just my preference, all bodies are good bodies and all of that).
Some of my friends and I were over watching a game and shooting the shit, and it turned to dating. I'm the only married guy among us. One of the guys just started dating a new girl, who also happens to be rather fat (my guess is like 5'6 175?). The subject came up about her weight, and the guys razzed him. I chimed in and said I thought the girl was cute, she's really nice, and the guys in turn told me that I didn't get to comment because I was a chubby chaser, as evidenced by marrying my wife.
I laughed along with this and said "Yeah, (Wife) is pretty big too, huh?" But wouldn't you know that was when my wife had come home from the gym. She heard it, passed through the room to make the point that she was there, and left to go upstairs to do girly shit.
Later on, she approached me and told me it was hurtful, and that I'm an asshole for letting the guys call her fat. I argued that she knows she isn't thin, she's never tried to hide it, she's not ashamed of it, and that I love her as she is, so why does it matter? This isn't an end-all-be-all fight, she's already over it, but was I really an asshole for just shooting the shit with the guys and being realistic?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 29,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 32
}
|
WRONG
|
Xo1rhnpwTel5UHF58WpgCcoyDNd8WhX3
|
9yaqub
|
{
"description": "wanting to keep my gun in the house",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for wanting to keep my gun in the house?
|
I moved in with my girlfriend a few months ago and she has made it pretty clear she doesn't like guns. I took her shooting to see if she would warm up to it but after firing one shot she was in tears and I felt horrible for even trying.
The only time I'm ever able to go shooting is when I drive 2-3 hours to my brother in law's place where he has multiple acres to shoot at and I only have the time to do that maybe once every few months. I love shooting and would love to go to one of the ranges near me to shoot but want to use my gun and not have to rent one.
I tried talking to my girlfriend about how I would make everything completely safe keeping my gun in the house; keeping it locked up without ammo, not even having ammo in the house (I don't need it for protection just recreation), even keeping it locked away with the barrel locked in a separate location.
I tried explaining to her that there's literally no way a gun could hurt someone unless it's loaded and that I would never keep ammo in the same house as my gun but she still wouldn't listen.
Shooting is a great stress reliever for me and while I can obviously live without my gun I really don't like only being able to go shooting by driving hours away on my weekends.
AITA for wanting to keep my gun in the house?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 13,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
RIGHT
|
jlIaFFu8J4TA5kIKJ5FmCcdau9SZ1UuX
|
auxvb9
|
{
"description": "driving extra slow when they tailgated",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for driving extra slow when they tailgated?
|
(Sorry for the english, it's not my mother tongue)
So, it was late and dark outside. I was driving in my old Passat Variant that is very long and I am relatively short (1,64m), therefore I can only see well what's behind me through the back mirror that is up to 3 meters away.
This Person behind me has been tailgating me for a few kilometers already and I was fed up with it. I could only see their lights flashing in my mirrors, which was very distracting and annoying.
But when I drove into a street from which I knew that it would have a speed limit of 30 instead of 50km/h after 300ish meters, I saw my opportunity to piss them of and drove extra slow.
They suddenly honked and as I looked, they turned right on the small cross road we were crossing at that moment.
Now I feel bad because I braked far too early (but not very harsh) and could actually have caused an accident, but to my defense, they drove so close, I couldn't see his indicator. To this day I'm not even sure if they even were indicating at all.
Sorry, if this isn't that entertaining or anything, it just still bugs me to this day. Thanks in advance!
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
u5BDp2YFs7qYYsecIWgNAWMoloVYPDu3
|
alb5ol
|
{
"description": "almost always telling my younger brother off for being messy and generally gross",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for almost always telling my younger brother (13) off for being messy and generally gross.
|
My brother is messy. He doesn’t flush the toilet, he never hangs up his towels, he never brushes his teeth, he always leaves the shower messy and he had a nosebleed a day ago and he left his nose blood all over the sink, mirror and a little bit on the tiles & he left his bloody tissues next to the sink. I only noticed when I walked in to go brush my teeth and I was beyond pissed. We share a bathroom. I went into his room and yelled at him about he’s always so gross and messy and he needs to clean it up, he did. With low effort, there was still a bit in the sink. If I’m being honest with myself I’m always yelling at him for being messy, for not putting on deodorant, for not cleaning up the bathroom after he’s used it, for not brushing his teeth. AITA for constantly yelling at him because of how messy he is?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 14,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 16,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
qhJxEOusUkU0B9iqlzVIcQ4lfGONCFNg
|
aroccz
|
{
"description": "wanting to ditch my friends",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to ditch my friends
|
So hey, first post ever. Neat. Also, long post incoming
Some context: I'm a high school senior (17F) and have been friends with a group of people since I was a sophomore. I kinda made the friend group and it expanded until junior year. I used to really really love and appreciate all of these people (I still do mostly) but after I went to a program over the summer and made amazing friends there, I realized that my friend group at home aren't the nicest. Another thing was that someone in my friend group also applied to this program in another subject but didn't get in.
My birthday was a few days after I came back from the program, so I invited both my friend group from the program and my one at home. I thought since everyone had similar interests, they would all get along. No. That did not happen. Everyone left and I got blasted on our group chat for bringing these 'outsiders' into a party that was just supposed to be a hangout with the close friend group. Alright. I'm kind of a coward (you'll see later) so I just shrugged it off and didn't mention it to them again. When the school year starts again, if I even mention the program, most of them (5/6 of them) get angry about it. Also, they always kind of make jokes about how everyone but me in that group is pretty (I'm not saying that I'm necessarily a person who tries to look good, but I wanna be pretty too lmao) and kind of assume that I can be the butt of jokes. Alright. They also all like to act as if one girl in the group talking to guys is a big thing since they all end up liking her (another thing is that they also blast me for being able to talk to everyone but never actually want my help in meeting new people). I'm the most outgoing, so I really try helping them talk to people like teachers and even other students. Great. I'll admit that some of them are really smart and have way better grades than me, but I really don't care because it's second semester and I'm graduating. What really upsets me is how they never acknowledge anything I do and always brush me off.
The thing that made me want to write this was something that happened a week or two ago. There was a show at school that's the highlight of this semester so we all wanted to go. My childhood friend who goes to another school wanted to come so I was like "sure". Usually there's a huge line to go in but there's also food so we stop to get it then go to meet up with the friend group. I walk over to where they're standing in line to say hi and cut in (as we usually allow each other to do). In this first instance, all they do is turn the other way and ignore me. I'm like "aight" and go stand further back with other people. Then, I'm waiting by the bathroom when they brush past me without any notice. I usually would be fine if they hadn't seen me but we made eye contact.
My other friends tell me to ditch them, but if I do, I'll be alone and I'm really not in the mood (yeet, ya girl's a coward), although I'm going to go to college and not talk to any of them. Am I the asshole for not wanting to be nicer to them (I've kind of been distancing myself) and/or not telling them how I feel about what they're doing?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
kAMCOnPG9Q1qWHcuXnoEaKJBM10D1CgA
|
atxudv
|
{
"description": "hitting on chicks the day after a break up",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for hitting on chicks the day after a break up?
|
My ex-girlfriend was pretty emotionally abusive and mentally unstable. She broke up with me and urged me to find a healthy girl to be with, whether it's her in a few months or someone else. So I made a Tinder, and got to it. Ex and I are good friends, and we're gonna try to do that "we'll still be friends thing". I was bawling my eyes out, and she had just turned off her emotions. But now she's upset that I'm trying to move on to get over her. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
zz0AFjMDJFMQyWLCf1NMwAVfRMPSjdtT
|
ask1wb
|
{
"description": "using a black character in NBA2K19",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for using a black character in NBA2K19?
|
I used an African American character in the 2K career mode just because many people in the game mode do and I didn't simply want to recreate myself for the game mode. Then my brother said it was "like blackface". I did not mean to offend anyone or be racially insensitive. Am I the asshole in this situation?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
y4ZsKSwlZ0gTEXeRyN96wMpjg8k5Fa1E
|
b7s1be
|
{
"description": "not inviting a friend when I hung out with another friend group",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not inviting a friend when I hung out with another friend group?
|
This happened a long time ago in college, but I've been thinking about it lately.
I changed high schools junior year and met a friend senior year (let's call her Ann) that ended up going to the same college as me. Before that, I had gone to a small K-12 (we'll call it Nerd Academy) where most of us had been there since the beginning, so we were really close. Quite a few of my friends from that school ended up going to the same college as well.
I spent most of my time with Ann, but I would still get together with my friends from Nerd Academy, especially on the weekends. This seemed to piss Ann off that I didn't invite her to hang out with us. She had met some of them in passing, but nothing more. Nerd Academy get togethers overwhelmingly involved a lot of inside jokes from our time at that school, and I don't think Ann would have enjoyed being a part of them and I honestly didn't want to be spending time during them explaining everything to her so that she would understand what we were talking about.
Ann didn't have a friend group that I didn't also know, so there wasn't really a similar situation on her side to compare to. Our friendship mutually ended after about a year for a lot of other reasons, but the fact that I was hanging out with other people without her was one of her main grievances.
I understand that I could have made a greater effort to include her and let her decide for herself if she felt comfortable with that friend group, but some other incidents generally made me feel like she was just jealous and controlling. One such event was a Saturday morning where I told her I would go to this class at the community center with her so she wouldn't be alone but changed my mind maybe 3 minutes later because I realized I had an assignment due. She went anyway and I invited a mutual friend of ours over to my place to study. The friend posted something on Snapchat that indicated she had been over at my place, and Ann saw it and flipped a shit at me for "bailing on her to hang out with someone else" even though I explained to her that we were just studying together and had hardly spent 15 minutes of 4 hours goofing off.
So, what do you think? Was I being insensitive and excluding her? I've never taken issue with friends of mine hanging out with friend groups that I don't know and not inviting me but I don't want this to happen to another friendship if it turns out most people feel differently.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
cwGXEPRS9Zu2zNrtcqshzXJDfN2hUc68
|
b3vy6p
|
{
"description": "telling DH that I will not let his mom pick her grandmother name",
"pronormative_score": 205,
"contranormative_score": 10
}
|
AITA because I told DH that I will not let his mom pick her grandmother name.
|
First time poster so sorry if I'm not doing this right.
AITA because my MIL wants our future children to call her mommy(mil name) and me be mommy(my first name). I told my DH that I am not ok with that at all and if I can be my own kids mommy then I'm just not having kids. He thinks its not a bog deal and thinks I'm being dramatic because his brothers kids call her that and they don't have any problems with it. I told him that the Mommy thing put a strain on both of his kids mothers and they are now broken up over it. He says they broke up because of other reasons but either way it think that I should have a say in what they call her/me.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 193,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 12,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 205,
"WRONG": 10
}
|
RIGHT
|
Kchh3EVGIDKyuKt5ez4SVQml1OR7SJvz
|
9yomf3
|
{
"description": "not letting my friends shave my head",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not letting my friends shave my head?
|
Hello Redditors!
In my country, after finishing high school, everyone takes an entrance exam in order to get into an university. And there’s this kind of a “tradition” in my country where the boys who manage to get approved get their heads shaved.
Me and all of my friends already scored enough to get to college, so everyone shaved their heads, and now every one of them is looking ugly as hell.
I’m the only one who didn’t shave. Mostly because I don’t want to look ugly. I’m already really self conscious about my looks and always gets picked on, probably cause I’m the one who talks most in the group, even though I’m really shy...
So here’s the situation. Two week ago when they all were shaving their heads and even though I told them I didn’t want to, they said they would do it anyway because “it’s a tradition bro” So I went home earlier that day in order to “escape” from them.
And this week another friend received his results and also got approved, so we went to celebrate it. He shaved his head and this time they were like “you’re not escaping this time dude” so they shaved one, they tried to hold me and do it against my will. So I started to throw kicks and punches in order to make them stop (it was like 7 dudes trying to immobilize me). It worked and they seemed to get over with it.
But now they keep making comments (in my presence) about how I was being a bitch about it or how they’ll do it anyway, and other stuff like that.
All of them have kinda admitted that they regret doing it but don’t care because it’s a “tradition”.
Am I really being the asshole here for not letting them do it? I already told them before we got our results that I didn’t want to do it and they still tried to do it...
TLDR: friends want to shave my head. I told them I didn’t want to do it and they still tried. So I fought them in order for them to stop. Now they saying I overreacted and was being a pussy.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
6xdsnnZf4F5RhpMHC4xK05hzQS7jQnVm
|
aptamz
|
{
"description": "wanting to split up with my so because my physical attraction to her has diminished, and being honest if she asks why? this woman is otherwise perfect (career, stable, caring, etc.) I'm a solid 8/10 overall, I don't think my standards are too high, I know looks fade, etc",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for wanting to split up with my SO because my physical attraction to her has diminished, and being honest if she asks why? This woman is otherwise perfect (career, stable, caring, etc.) I’m a solid 8/10 overall, I don’t think my standards are too high, I know looks fade, etc..
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 3
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 8
}
|
WRONG
|
|
AxIh42kGPngusfp5AcI1VTBaSywB129M
|
a4w8mp
|
{
"description": "not respecting my parents religion",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA not respecting my parents religion
|
I got into an argument with my mom of the existing of god. She didn't accept that I'm an atheist and decided that my opinion dosent matter. To annoy me even more she put around my room some religious posters ETC. I ripped all of them and threw them away.. who's the asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 6,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 9
}
|
WRONG
|
tPE0ACK6p35CkgXK4iCBYOxaFBv1tEEb
|
ah0je8
|
{
"description": "I leaving town anyways",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I I left town anyways?
|
So I'm in this dilemma where I want to leave for the weekend to visit my boyfriend and his family, and maybe have some fun before the semester starts. I've been working at my internship since the new year, and it's been going well. So initially, I asked my Dad if I could take a trip to MA (the state), and he said no. The reasons for this (and I told him, I'm not asking for money) is because it's not my car and I might crash it on my trip.
&#x200B;
So understandable. It's not my car. I don't feel it's fair because I'm biased but I know that logically, the car doesn't legally belong to me, and I don't pay the insurance on it or the car payments. So I'm okay with that.
&#x200B;
My solution to this is to either pay for a train ticket or a plane ticket (I checked, they're about $200 roundtrip). Again, I'm not asking for money, I will use my own to get to the train station/airport (depending what way I decide to go, which is most likely by plane) and for the ticket cost. **Would I be the asshole if I told him "I'm going to \_\_\_\_\_\_ on Saturday morning." and then just left?**
I do want to just mention that this trip is something I don't necessarily need, but I want to go because of my sanity. I know the next few months until May is going to be hectic for me because I'm taking hard classes, I'm interning, tutoring, volunteering for VITA and for a Vietnamese community fashion show, etc. I just want a small break and I'm not asking for charity from my parents.
I'm scared though because they could kick me out if I go on a trip that doesn't concern them. Or decide to trash my room. Or decide to pull funding from school or even help me in the future.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
pUmxNSalrN10UzDZbLTstYGBCQ0rE8Nd
|
ba3l9l
|
{
"description": "refusing to share my late fiancée life insurance payout with her parents",
"pronormative_score": 44,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA If I refused to share my late fiancée life insurance payout with her parents
|
My fiancée tragically passed away a few months back. I'm currently in the process of sorting various matters out. Two of these are the Mortgage and Life Insurance.
I should firstly make it clear that because we weren't married and had no children I am not next of kin, her parents are.
I discovered today that because the way the Mortgage was set up, I am due to inherit the full mortgage debt to pay back but only half the house, the remainder of the house will go to her parents. This is frustrating for a number of reason, firstly when my fiancee and I set up the Mortgage I recall being asked this question and I don't believe that is the option we chose. I can't prove that so it is what it is. Secondly, the house is hers and mine, no-one else's.. We designed it from the ground up, everything in it is hours of work by us, to now have to share that seems wrong. Thirdly, I truly dont believe this what she would have wanted, it certainly isn't what I would have wanted for her but they're spinning it as "If this is how she set it up, she must have wanted us to get the house." And finally I got on really well with her family, I feel this has made the relationship extremely difficult to maintain.
I'm not sure if it's relevant as to whether IATA but her family are well off, a lot more so than myself or my family. They're not stinking rich but they have a large portfolio of properties and money just isn't an issue for them. I'm by no means struggling, but I earn enough to pay the bills and that's about it.. I can barely afford them now I'm paying them alone.
Also, possibly relevant possibly not.. every single asset of hers has gone to her parents and I have not said a word. This is the law and that's fine. It probably equates to around £20,000 in total, I have not asked for nor received a penny of this and I am completely comfortable with that fact.
Now, we had joint life insurance which means I'm due a payout equal to the remainder of the mortgage. To me, this is my money to do with as I please. I paid the premiums to cover my mortgage in case the worst should happen, which it did. My solution is that I either give her parents half the money we've paid off the house and they sign it over to me or we sell the house and share whatever money is raised. Either way, I keep the life insurance money.
Their solution is that I pay off the full mortgage and we share the house 50/50. To me this is completely out of the question, why would I pay for them to own half of my house. But am I just being extremely selfish keeping the full amount for myself?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 43,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 44,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
pfqVGl9lpH6NXn4aEzfpjQcp7nvgxoIt
|
9uwmzs
|
{
"description": "telling this guy to fuck off",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for telling this guy to fuck off?
|
I was in a vehicle collision this morning (no one was injured). My car was a mess. Hood bent up 45 degrees, the bumper falling off... I’m behind the wheel in the center turn lane with my head buried in my hands in disbelief.
Cue the guy on the moped getting off and crossing 3 lanes of traffic on foot to tap on my window and hand me his business card for auto repairs.
I promptly tell him to fuck off, and roll up my window.
Reddit, am I an asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
9pSyR56cYjUxISV9CLUzZ8uP7wlEyeDy
|
9twes0
|
{
"description": "sometimes wanting alone time from my girlfriend to do things I want, or just be alone",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for sometimes wanting alone time from my girlfriend to do things i want, or just be alone?
|
I'm in a bit of a dilemma. Me and my girlfriend spend essentially all of our free time together and do everything together. Recently I've been wanting to do things like go back to my suite (we're both in college) and just play some video games, hang out with my other friends, or just chill alone. But every time I mention not wanting her with me she gets quite upset and paranoid that I don't want to be with her at all. She's been dealing with depression and anxiety disorders all of her life but it's almost like I'm her only source of happiness, something that she's told me. It's like she can't function without me around and I don't want to be a therapist for her, but I do want to be with her. I guess long story short, am I the asshole for wanting to just be away from her for a few hours a week to do things I want?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
AKYzmLieshNxGce5J5SiwDETr150d38u
|
b5y8jz
|
{
"description": "yelling at my mom about how she treats me",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For yelling at my mom about how she treats me?
|
So my family is strange in the ways. My parents are split and my mom who is single works for most of the day. Because of this I come on my school bus to my grandparents who are very kind and caring. I spend more time with them in their house then my moms (doesn’t mean I love her less). Now here’s the thing I’ve been noticing: she treats me differently with her parents around apposed to how she treats me without them around. One example of this and the most recent one is that I made a minor mistake in school about a teacher I dislike. I’ve complained and vented about this teacher before to my mom and she agreed with me for most of the time so this surprised me. While talking and explaining how this teacher was unfair, my mom blurred in very sassy-like saying how the student should listen to the teacher no matter what. Then, she looked at her parents as if she was looking for some sort of agreement or approval. I was confused, shocked, and felt kind of betrayed. Next, my mother started lecturing me on how teachers sometimes have a rough time with students and that it can probably get annoying (my mom is not a teacher). My grandparents then agreed with her slightly although my grandfather didn’t seem much in agreement. I stormed off into my room later that night once my mother and I were alone and yelled at her saying that she acts like the way kids do when they treat others differently when their friends are around.
So people of reddit, Am I the Asshole?
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "trashing my coworkers mugs and dishes when they leave it soaking in the community sink",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 11
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|
AITA for trashing my coworkers mugs and dishes when they leave it soaking in the community sink?
|
At work we have a kitchenette and at the end of the day, my coworkers leave their dishes/mugs filled with oatmeal and other things left to soak. We even have a sign that states “Do not leave personal belongings in the kitchenette. We are not responsible for lost items”. I stay at work pretty late so I see the night janitor come in and clean. I noticed that he goes out of his way to wash the dishes and mugs, which isn’t a part of his job (our company only contracts them to do floors and trash so it’s our responsibility to clean up after ourselves). My coworkers must have noticed too because they have since stopped doing their own dishes and has been leaving piles in the sink knowing that they will be magically washed and dried in the morning. They even make comments about the “Mexican sucker” that’s cleaning for them. This has been on going for a few weeks now and my coworkers even have the audacity to complain about water spots on their mugs. So throughout the day when I find myself alone in the kitchenette, I take an item or two and toss them out in the building hallway trash so it can’t be found. We work in a building where we share office space with other businesses and there’s no cameras so I haven’t been caught yet. A coworker asked our manager about their items being taken, but my manager just reiterated the policy. I guess I am being petty, but my coworkers are trash and I don’t feel bad.
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HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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{
"description": "cancelling a trip away with my friends",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for cancelling a trip away with my friends?
|
Last year around November me and three other friends who I have been on holiday with before (4 days in Edinburgh ) agreed we would all go to reading festival together. It will be camping accommodation so no hotel expenses and train tickets have not been sorted. Basically cancelling would add no expense or financial convenience to any of them.
However when I booked this trip I was a complete functioning alcoholic and regular drug taker (weed daily and cocaine and ecstasy monthly) I managed to completely turn my life around in the new year and actually start treating myself like I'm someone I'm responsible for looking after. Furthermore I've met a fantastic partner and am involved with her 2 children (something a million miles away from who I used to be)
I genuinely feel no interest in this trip and have already given my ticket away (at great cost to myself) but I've yet to tell my friends. Am I the arsehole? I feel at 31 spending 5 days shitfaced in a field (I'm not interested in any of the music) isn't something I have room for in my life anymore.
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "not paying this $11.50",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not paying this $11.50?
|
The night before Thanksgiving I got a text at 11pm from an unknown number (UN). We had no previous text history in my phone.
UN: “Hey so I'm moving out of [address] and they want me to pay this fuckin "cleaning fee" - your prorated share for the 4 months you were here is gonna come out to 11.50, can you venmo me?
I looked up the address and realized this was the apartment I’d subleased back in spring semester 2015. I responded.
ME: “Sorry, I'm not paying that. I moved out over 3 years ago.”
UN: “Nah dude I totally get that - I'm just as frustrated as you are. I just don't think it's fair for me to pay for the 4 months I didn't live there.”
I didn’t respond. 40 minutes later..
UN: “Yeah so you're contractually obligated to pay your part. It sucks but that's how these leases work, I'm paying my 56 months worth, you gotta pay your 4 months.” Attached was a cropped screenshot of a lease clause that read: “Landlord may deduct reasonable charges from the security deposit for (a) damages to the Property, excluding wear and tear, and all reasonable costs as associated to repair the property; (b) costs for which Tenant is responsible to clean, deodorize, exterminate, and maintain the Property.”
I haven’t responded and will not be paying that $11.50 to a person whose name I don’t even know to clean an apartment I lived in three and a half years ago. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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a59kdg
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{
"description": "being confused why my gf wants one of my hoodies",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for being confused why my gf wants one of my hoodies?
|
So my gf has been asking me if she can steal one of my hoodies and it kinda confused me cuz like its my clothes but like maybe she want it so she can be like " hey girls this is my mans cloths" idk AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "letting my dog shit on my neighbours driveway",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for letting my dog shit on my neighbours driveway?
|
When I was coming back to my house from walking my dogs, one of my dogs squatted on my neighbours driveway to poop. I tried to stop him but naturally a dog will go where they want to.
Of course I picked it up but am I the asshole if I let it happen? My neighbour sadly saw it happen, she didn't look too happy.
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "telling a girl that unfortunate incidents in her life were \"karma\"",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 21
}
|
AITA for telling a girl that unfortunate incidents in her life were "karma"?
|
So yesterday, I get a random message from a number saying "Hey, how's life? :) if you even remember me haha".
I don't recognize the number right away, but on my end there is a conversation to scroll up to from two years ago. Turns out she was someone I matched with on tinder, and chatted and exchanged numbers and made plans with - and she was in contact right up to literally the last minute of the day we had plans, she ghosted me literally as I was getting ready and showering after having come home from work. Not kidding, just a couple hours earlier she was responding and discussing plans.
So not only was I shocked she remembered me, but thought it was bold and ballsy that she messaged me after what she'd done. So I told her that, asked what happened to her. She claimed she didn't remember doing that and apologized at first, then said she "made some bad choices and ended up in a bad relationship and finally realized her worth and got out" and also mentioned that it was "probably when her life was blowing up and her son's dad went to prison and a bunch of stuff".
So I accepted it and forgave her at first, chatted a bit more - but then we realize that apparently when she contacted me, although she somehow still had me in her phone, she mistook and thought I was someone else she knew with the same name - which explained a lot.
So following that I jog her memory a bit as to who I actually am (I didn't mention tinder before) and bring up highlights of our conversation, once again reiterating what she did. This time she sounded a little less remorseful and apologetic though - "yeah, sounds about right, I probably did the same thing to other people, life got crazy".
Eventually I gave a little more detail to help pinpoint who I was until she finally remembered. To which she said "yeah, so I might have come home then and not bothered cause I was gonna be moving soon". That's it, no apology, just shamelessly using that as an excuse as if that's normal.
Sure, she doesn't know me and she's just one person and this incident wasn't something that affected me greatly in any way, but I was shocked with her complete sociopathic lack of compassion in her words, how she sees basically anyone she doesn't know as disposable and therefore okay to do that to kind of like the "#wastehistime201x" meme a while back. She didn't seem to even understand that what she did was shitty, just kept deflecting it with "there are bigger things in life" and "it's weird to be upset about something so insignificant". But no, it's not about not being over it, it's the apathetic attitude she has about it.
So, I told her that I guess if she does stuff like that on a regular basis, the stuff that happened to her that she mentioned is probably karma.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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ana0uy
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{
"description": "sending an email to someone saying that I forgive him",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
WIBTA if I sent an email to someone saying that I forgive him?
|
So last year, what happened was I had a tussle with a guy I was co-TAing with. He's one of those guys who doesn't take kindly not being the one in a position of seniority. Because the main lab coordinator is my advisor, I'm the direct point of contact. So sometimes I will update the co-TAs with something my advisor mentioned but hadn't yet told them. That guy was a friend until that point...so what ended up happening was I updated the co-TAs and that guy basically responded with "don't tell me what to do." I said "uhm...I'm not telling you what to do. I'm being a messenger. And I won't hesitate to report you. Consider this your warning." Then he responded very rudely, "you know why people think you are stepping over? Every time you talk you underestimate everyone. How dare you say 'consider this your warning.' My point is I'm all for collaboration but you need to respect others. It doesn't mean everyone's one cent needs to be the same as yours. Also, I'm very confident in teaching my lab better than you. Good luck." So I reported the thread to my advisor, his advisor, and one of the grad advisors. My advisor and his advisor set him straight, and the grad advisor printed out the thread and put it in his file. If it happens again, more serious action will be taken against him.
&#x200B;
Anyway, that's just the context. The thing is, I'm not looking to be BFFs with this dude. I just want this to be water under the bridge. I know he's a terrible person. I know he's a shithead. But I don't want enemies. He shouldn't be mad at me for reporting him. He should be mad at himself for having acted in such a reportable way.
&#x200B;
Anyway, I thought of sending him an email basically saying that. Basically, "I know I'm the last person you want to hear from, but I just thought I'd make a peace offering. We had a tussle last year, and I forgive you. I don't think you want to be my friend, and I understand, but I don't want to be enemies. I wish you the best of luck in your research." Would that be holier-than-thou-esque? WIBTA if I said that on a whim?
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HYPOTHETICAL
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WRONG
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{
"description": "breaking up with my ex due to my health issues",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For breaking up with my ex due to my health issues.
|
This happened two years ago and it still bothers me today. I was friends with this really sweet and beautiful girl. We were together for a year and a half. It was a small but amazing relationship and throughout this whole time I was at my all time low, nothing made me happy I was always gloomy and had constant suicidal thoughts. She was so kind enough to stay with me through all of this and help me. I felt terrible because I was always giving off terrible energy and others around me would always be down. I could tell she was always down because of me. I've tried to commit multiple times before and during are relationship. I couldn't control myself I felt like I was truly insane. Being with her I felt a bit alive. My dad sent me to a mental hospital and I was there for about 4 months with absolutely nothing with me. Once I got out I started going to therapy. I felt overwhelmed by everything. I didn't want any physical contact I didn't want to see anyone I didn't even speak. I decided to break up with her because I was so scared of myself I couldn't even love myself how am I supposed to love someone else. I felt terrible for her she had to put up with me and then I had to break her heart but I felt like it was better than continuing a one sided relationship. I told her I wanted to fix myself and get better before I continue a commited relationship. I was scared I would have killed myself and imagine what that would do to her. So I ended it off and she never spoke to me again. I tried getting in contact with her now because I am at a much better place in life. I've broken out of my shell and fought my problems. I love life now and I'm so grateful for it but I truly miss her. I just want to apologize to her once more and let her know that I'm doing well because that would mean a lot to her I believe. I still regret my decision I felt like it was selfish and disgusting of me.
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "being mad at my \"friend\" for not paying me for a logo I made",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being mad at my “friend” for not paying me for a logo I made?
|
So let’s start from the beginning. This kid is a known shit head and no one likes him for various reasons. Like plenty of reasons cause he’s a douche bag. Our amazing web design teacher made an assignment that was “create a logo // thumbnail for said friends YouTube channel. We will have an impartial judge choose the winner.” That kid also said he’d give $30 to the winner if he liked the design as well. I spent more time than necessary to get an A so I’d have a higher chance of winning. I made him the thumbnail, and it won, and he liked it. We agreed and shook hands // swore on something we consider higher than swearing on god that he’d pay me for it. I told him he’d have to pay me first, but he refused, saying “I need to upload the video tonight”. I agreed cause he had swore and we shook hands. I sent it to 2 of his emails and he confirmed that he got them but if refusing to pay me. This sounds like the obvious answer of he’s the asshole, but here is where it gets interesting. Since he doesn’t want to pay me he’s going to just not use the thumbnail and not pay me. He’s justifying it by not using it. I still think he should pay me because he paid for a service, I provided said service and he was happy with it. Also once I got all pissed at him and my friends were backing me up cause he swore on what we regard as higher than swearing on god, he swore again and I thought it was a done deal. I texted him about it and he just kept on saying “I’m not paying for it” over and over again. I know it’s hella petty, but AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "taking another job with a way higher pay, 3-4 months after getting hired at my current workplace",
"pronormative_score": 37,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
WIBTA if i took another job with a way higher pay, 3-4 months after getting hired at my current workplace?
|
Greetings everyone. Throwaway for obvious reasons.
Forgive me if it turns out a bit long.
So, a bit of background.3 years ago I decided Im gonna change my career and become a programmer. after attending a coding bootcamp my friend told me i can join her startup (startup was based in USA and she is a senior developer there) as one of the 3 interns. The startup was struggling so the employment was not guaranteed. I was just happy to be learning and doing something I actually enjoy.
The CTO was personally teaching us and we learned a lot. Unfortunately my savings ran out and i informed my friend and the CTO that i had to find a job . They understood and we parted on good terms.
I did some freelance jobs which wasnt stable, but was better than nothing. 2 months after i left the startup got funding and hired one of the 2 other interns. since the company was based in US, their base salary for a junior exceeded the local salary 5 times.
After a year of freelancing and instability, one of my other friends who was in the coding bootcamp with me told me that their company has a vacancy. i applied and after a grueling interview got the job. The founders were trying to hire people that would stay with them for a long time. they werent sure about me, that i "wouldnt quit after a couple of months". My friend reassured them that i needed something stable. Which is true, i dont like frequent change and needed stability.
I thought i would stay in that company for more or less a long time. The atmosphere and environment is great and bosses are decent. The only downside was the pay, but since it was stable and enough to pay the bills and leave a bit of spending money, i cant complain.
Fast forward 3-4 months. 2 weeks ago my friend from the startup tells me that the other intern they hired (who was getting 5x my salary) quit. I was surprised but paid no mind. Today that same friend asked me if, hypothetically, i would be interested in working with them, implying i'd get the same salary as the previous guy.
So now im conflicted. i dont want to get ahead of myself but i have a feeling that the work offer is likely to happen. I had a friendly chat with the CTO 2 days after their guy quit and among other things he asked me questions about my employment.
&#x200B;
To be perfectly honest the thing that is making me consider is that the salary is so high. I wouldnt be considering leaving if the prospective salary was 2x my current salary. but 5x makes a considerable sum. Part of me wishes the offer never comes so i wouldnt have to make this choice. But another part of me wants to earn more than i am currently earning.
WIBTA if i quit my current employment 4 months after being hired and knowing that the people who hired me were wary of this thing happening, in the first place? I dont want to be selfish and be someone who "chases money", but i also dont want to look back and regret missing this hypothetical opportunity.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "taking back my Dad's cigars",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA For Taking Back My Dad’s Cigars?
|
My dad is a big cigar guy. Cigar aficionado magazine, smokes one or two a week, and knows his stuff.
During family gatherings like Christmas and weddings he always makes a point to take out a box of cigars for all the guys to smoke. I have about a dozen male family members that all come outside to smoke and everyone enjoys it.
Last night I was at my cousin’s wedding where my dad brought a box of cigars with around 30 cigars and left them outside for all the guys to take.
At the end of the night, maybe 11:30 I was outside and noticed there were about 12-15 cigars left. I thought to myself “no one is going to smoke these, they’re just going to get thrown out.” So I brought the cigar box inside to take home. My dad noticed this and told me to leave them outside and I argued with him that no one will take these since they’re outside and most of the guests had left. I took them home anyways. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "telling my coworker he stinks",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA if I told my coworker he stinks?
|
So I am a new maintenance technician. A year of experience and progressing very quickly. Got a new job recently with a traveling company doing repair in industrial environments.
At this new job there is a guy who has been doing this for a long time, but hea kinda dumb. He is a nice guy though. The problem is that he smells terribly like body odor. I mean you can smell him 6-7 ft away. On top of that he's a close talker and loves to look over my shoulder while I'm filling out paper work. I really can't even stand it anymore. Everyone else calls him stinky behind his back (I don't cuz that's fuckin rude) and I feel bad for the guy cuz like I said he's not a piece of shit. Also, most of us dont shower in the morning because by the time you leave you're covered head to toe in dirt. I mean I put deodorant on in the morning so that I'm not stinking up the plant when i start sweating.
So WIBTA if I told him his odor is offensive?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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RIGHT
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asgq3e
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{
"description": "saying no to my manager",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for saying no to my manager?
|
I started my first job 2 months ago, and although it's very demanding I was doing very well, making very few mistakes, and fixing them promptly. I was also getting lots of complement from my manager and his bosses.
Probably because I was doing a very good job my manager asked me to start doing a co-worker that wasn't going well job, but since I'm alread working 10 hours plus a day, and this co-worker is also doinig 10-12 hours, I freaked out told him it was impossible, that I could not do it alone.
After that he told me he could do it if it were him and was rude to me, and I heard he said I was being lazy. Now I feel like I should have thanked him for the trust and accepting the extra work. AITA for saying no? I already sent him a message saying sorry, and telling him I could try my best doing it.
|
HISTORICAL
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akso8m
|
{
"description": "having a mental ultimatum for my bf",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for having a mental ultimatum for my BF?
|
Last night we celebrated our 6th anniversary. We went to dinner at Olive Garden because my boyfriend claimed he made reservations at a nice restaurant in the Downtown area, but turns out he forgot and they were booked up so we ended up at Olive Garden, whatever, not a big deal, tbh I read into and thought we were redoing out first date which was at Olive Garden because we were 2 broke kids in school and I had a gift card there. It was funnier then but anywho... Now that we're at year 6 I've been hoping for an engagement for a while, about 2 years. We've discussed it and he agrees it something he wants.
&#x200B;
I thought recently maybe he sensed my growing desire for marriage when my 19 year old sister announced her engagement 3 months ago.
&#x200B;
I thought last night would be the night, we had great weather, I was intoxicated by breadsticks and he was acting like he had some big surprise for me. Now, I've always been the more in depth gift giver and tbh the only gift I've come to want is being asked to marry him. I don't give a shit about a ring, I just want the question to be asked. Instead he reached in his pocket and gave me a Sephora gift card....
&#x200B;
He knows my reasons for wanting to get married, the main one is my dad. I am super close to my dad and in the last year his health has declined a lot, we know due to his weight and other issues he probably has only a couple years max left. I want him to see me get married. I've been saving for this wedding since I was little and I want it to happen sooner rather later so he can be their.
&#x200B;
I brought up marriage to my BF this morning and he said "We'll cross that bridge when we get to it."
&#x200B;
I gave myself an ultimatum. If he doesn't propose come my birthday in June I have to stop waiting and leave. I'm 27, I want to start a family soon which he is on board with, but my god, I don't want to be old fashioned but I want to be married before I have a baby.
&#x200B;
I feel like a dick but I also feel like standing up to what I want is important.
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "getting my novel published",
"pronormative_score": 18,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA (to my friend) if I got my novel published
|
My friend (F50) retired early a couple years ago and decided to write a novel. She considers writing to be her passion, but never really sticks to any one thing. She did write her novel, but then decided to self-publish because she didn't want to handle multiple rejections from big publishing companies. She paid about $5,000 to publish the book and had all these dreams it would be turned into a movie and she'd be on the Times' Best-Seller List, but nothing has really happened with it and she now has a bunch of boxes of books in her basement. She wants to turn it into a trilogy but has stalled partway through the second book.
&#x200B;
I (F35) have also now written a novel and it looks like it will be published with a large publishing company. Would I be an asshole if I published it, maybe with a pseudonym?
&#x200B;
The main reason I ask - and I hope this doesn't come off as conceited - is that I've found relative success in my career and have accomplished a number of things I'm really proud of. Although she doesn't commit as much time to it as she could, I know my friend considers her novel to be her baby, and I don't want to show her up and kill her creative spirit by publishing. I'm thinking about publishing under a pseudonym and not doing any promotion (like a book tour) for the novel, which I really want to see made. This way I know I've still accomplished this, but I don't have to worry about her finding out and getting demotivated.
&#x200B;
What do you think? What should I do?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
fiYmLi05nVHJ7tr0TDwTS1tWcCk7bZoh
|
akk8ii
|
{
"description": "coming home from working and eating without asking my so if he's hungry",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For coming home from working and eating without asking my SO if he’s hungry?
|
My fiancé and I have been together for 10 years, living together for 6. So today I come home from a 10 hour shift and I’m hungry. After I do some quick cleaning and put our 2 year old son to bed I decide to eat. I heat up a plate of food, while he is sitting in the kitchen. We go sit down in the living room to watch Netflix and 10 minutes into a show he gets up angrily and says he’s hungry. He then says, “thanks for asking if I’m hungry” and I apologized and said I didn’t realize he had not ate yet. He goes and grabs himself a plate, comes back and says that he was trying to be nice and wait for me to get home so we could eat together. He doesn’t always wait for me to come home so we could eat and when he does he will usually say that he waited for me or something. But not today. I asked if he was hungry then why didn’t he say something when he saw me making a plate. He got even more angry and said I’m now turning it around on him and making it seem like it is his fault. I told him I’m tired and hungry and I just want to come home and relax, I don’t want to argue or feel like I have to analyze a situation when I get home so I know what to do and ask if he’s hungry. He said I’m making myself the victim. Now he’s in our room watching Netflix by himself. AITA for not asking if he’s hungry, even though waiting for me to come home to eat together is not something he usually does?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
6k7AbXouShgjApshsjqKXpyyF2ExUeyR
|
a5dozo
|
{
"description": "telling my friends that their friend is abusive to her boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for telling my friends that their friend is abusive to her boyfriend
|
My buddy is in a really fucked up abusive relationship, I’m honestly worried he might commit suicide because he’s so depressed and posting things on Twitter that really scare me. His GF doesn’t hit him but she’s psychologically a manipulative beast from hell that eats souls etc etc. The backstory isn’t really important here ok.
So unfortunately, Hellbeast was my best friend for several years before I found out about the abuse, and this means all of her friends are also mutual friends with me. When I cut her out of my life and never speak to her again, they will undoubtedly wonder “what happened between you two?”
Arguments for answering that question with “because she’s fucking evil, let me tell you everything”
1. If one of my friends was like her, I would 100% want someone to tell me instead of letting me naively invest several years into the friendship. I wish someone had told me about her when I met her.
2. If I don’t say anything then she’ll probably make up some lie that makes me look like the bad guy. Ok I have zero evidence that this would actually happen but she IS a hellbeast so...
3. Deep down, is there some evil part of my soul that wants her life to suck because she deserves it? Mayyyyyybe. I was previously in an abusive relationship where someone treated me exactly the way she treats her boyfriend, and I will 100% admit that this is probably causing me to project and colour my perspective on the issue.
Arguments against telling people the truth:
1. It would make me an asshole. Why stoop to her level and say hurtful things? Why not take the high road and give a mature response like “we had a difference in opinion, I respect the fact that you’re her friend but I don’t want to be invited to events she’s attending” . Why try to end the friendships of someone I’ll never talk to again, who cares if they’re her friends? It would just be mean and vindictive of me to tell everyone who knows her, bad things about her.
Or... *would* it make me an asshole? You decide reddit!
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
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|
aouepi
|
{
"description": "wanting proof of my boyfriend's seemingly outlandish stories about his past after two years of dating",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting proof of my (29F) boyfriend’s (33M) seemingly outlandish stories about his past after two years of dating?
|
Okay, let me start off by saying that I love him, and I have no concerns as to whether or not he’s a good person. We are both single parents and I see the way he treats his son, as well as mine, and I know that he’s a solid guy deep down. Here’s the problem:
In the last two years of dating, he’s told me some pretty outlandish stories about his past, and while I ignored concerns about how true they were at first, now I’m getting seriously concerned that he’s been telling tall-tales. One of the stories includes how he was able to buy his house— apparently he went to Mexico and made a bunch of cash as part of some illegal activity then decided to “go straight” and came back and bought a house. I don’t know, I was instantly kind of suspicious that he was lying. When I looked up the name on his property, his mom’s name came up. He said that he put it in his mom’s name when he was getting a divorce from his ex, so that she couldn’t try and claim the house. Alright...makes sense, I suppose. Maybe my paranoia is taking over, but I feel like he’s lying about it for a number of reasons. And there have been other strange stories that I’ve really doubted but my kept my mouth shut. Is it rude to question him about his past? I don’t care if the things he’s told me are true or not, that’s really not my concern. I’m scared that there’s something actually wrong with him if he’s indeed lying about such strange things.
Also, he’s a complete hermit. Other than spending time with his kid, he sees no one else. He doesn’t have any friends, at least that I’ve met in two years. And I’ve only met a few of his family members briefly once or twice. I feel that sometimes you can judge the validity of a person by the people they keep around them— get affirmations that they are who they say they are, etc. I can’t do that with him though.
I asked him for proof of going to Mexico the other day and he said he lost his passport awhile back. Then I asked him for any shred of proof of his stories and he blew up at me. Am I the asshole for even questioning his past and demanding proof? What if he’s telling the truth? Does it even matter is he’s lying? It’s in the past, after all. It’s just all so odd and I feel like I need to know at this point, especially after two years. I honestly can’t tell if I’m in the wrong, or protecting myself and my kid from a reality blow in the future when I find out he’s been lying and he’s like a sociopath or something. Honestly, my gut is telling me that they are lies that he’s told out of insecurities, and they aren’t malicious in nature. He’s a good person. Should I just drop it?
Ugh. I’m losing my mind over this. Any input would be appreciated. If I’m the asshole and I need to stop questioning, then I want someone to call me out.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
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|
a3xlnc
|
{
"description": "not wanting to spend time outside of work with work colleagues because I see enough of them at work",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to spend time outside of work with work colleagues because I see enough of them at work.
|
They're not bad people. Just not my type. Anyone else feel this way about work?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
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OTHER
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{
"RIGHT": 10,
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}
|
RIGHT
|
T3aMMGSmAbxxDfzxVjFbH6LSziQ2PsW7
|
b6v3cj
|
{
"description": "throwing away paints",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for throwing away paints
|
Backroad I’m an Irish second year student (end of American middle school)
T: teacher
Me: moi
Ok so I am a hardworking student mabye not the most talented but I do my best but this teacher constantly gets mad at me for no reason and I just wanted to know who is me the wrong ok here we go
She constantly barrates every one in the class and has insulted my sa enterprise painting as looking too much like the ship from Star Trek (ughh) and also one day I was leaving and she started yelling at me for having a messy desk (it was clean worth one box of art supplies) and I said it was clean then she yelled at me and said to put it away
I said I didn’t know where it went and she said put all the mess into the bin
So I tried to explain that is was expensive paints and she said I ad to stop giving her backchats and then she said to put it in the bin so I did and then I was yelled at for putting ten euro’s worth of paint in the bin
Am I the asshole redit
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 2,
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}
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
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|
azmnuj
|
{
"description": "getting mad at my 'friend' for calling me racist",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting mad at my ‘friend’ for calling me racist?
|
Ok so some backstory here. I’ve had my dream wedding planned since I was very little. I want my gown to be a light green ball gown with a sweet heart neckline. I took inspiration from Princess Tiana’s dress from The Princess and the Frog.
I was telling my friend all about the forest themed wedding plans with dark browns, dark greens and light greens with the outfits and green roses and while lilies everywhere.
She asked me where I got the inspiration for my dress and I told her Tiana’s dress. She then started bombarding me with hateful words saying I wasn’t allowed to use her for inspiration because she is a black princess and I am very much not black. I’m Norwegian. I have bright blonde hair and grey eyes. I also literally cannot tan.
So I got mad and told her I wasn’t trying to be offensive, I just loved the design of the dress and wanted to recreate it. She told me I was being a bad friend by not listening to her. We haven’t talking since and I don’t plan on talking to her again but I have to know, am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 16,
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}
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
RgkTKi7GY42DJ1xqzvNVcsX1Uo2cS03U
|
a28ue7
|
{
"description": "filing a noise complaint, then confronting those people for playing loud music late on a saturday",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for filing a noise complaint, then confronting those people for playing loud music late on a saturday?
|
Alright so, I typically don't give a flying titshit about other people but it was kinda different last night. I suffer from insomnia and i get angry when im lacking sleep (which is why i got a punching bag in the backyard), I wanted to sleep just because the night before i had anxiety before my MRI scan and couldnt sleep. Anyway, I heard music, loud, bassy, shit music (fuckers were listening to "rap", bitch where the tech n9ne at.
Anyway, i called the cops coz it was after 11pm and its illegal to play loud music that can be heard in other houses, filed a noise complaint, waited 30-40 minutes, no change in result. So i said fuck it, the cops here are useless cunts so i'm gonna handle this shit myself, and if i get into a brawl, then fuck it i can't give enough fucks right now.
I walked down the street that was playing the music, this was at 2am on a sunday, the time thingy for noise is 11pm and i think 8am, so it was already in the naughty zone of time. I found the street, looked at the mailbox for the number so i could specify the location for the police if the useless fucks wanna become useful for once in their shitty lives.
Also, i live in australia, we get shit cops too guys.
Anyway, i banged on the garage door, not super hard, enough to make the whole thing shake and i think i left a dent, either way, the music turned down, i smelt weed and i said "well, that's typical" then i heard this young chicks voice go "HELLOOO... and thus started this conversation.
Them: You don't just knock on the door and not say anything, how dare you, are you still there?
Me: Yeah i'm still here.
Them: Who are you and what do you want?
Me: Well, for one, i'm not the cops so you guys can keep smoking it up, but you guys have been playing some loud music and i can hear you 7 houses down.
Them: But its a sunday we have to party
Me: Hey, i get it, i totally do, and i'm not trying to stop that party, all im saying is that the musics a bit loud, some of us have things to do in the morning and all i'm asking is to turn it down.
Them: Okay fine we'll turn it down but we won't stop drinking and partying
Me: Hey, as long as i don't hear it in the comfort of my own home, then that's fine... I already called the cops on you guys a few weeks ago due to loud noises at a bad time, and i don't wanna do that again.
Them (this time, a guy): then don't you cunt
Me: Well, as i said, i won't, unless you do it again, some people have lives.
Then i walked off, the music wasnt heard as loud as before, it was mission success, but i kinda felt bad, these people were young, and i'm young myself (only 24) so i understand the whole wanting to party and stuff on a sunday morning, but i probably ruined their night and i feel bad.
This probably is a very tame post compared to other posts here, but i'm generally a person who loves conflict, but hates it as well (random fights in the street? fuck yeah i'd watch that.... but random bashings of someone who doesn't deserve it, bruh i'm gonna kill someone soon)
Thank you for reading, and have an amazing weekend <3
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
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|
awpq3d
|
{
"description": "turning a really nice guy down for a second date because of my own insecurities",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for turning a really nice guy down for a second date because of my own insecurities?
|
So, a few months ago I had been talking to this guy on a dating app for a while when he asked to meet in person for dinner. I didn’t have any qualms about him per se, but I instantly felt anxious about the whole situation (first date in a long time, and first date ever with someone I had never met, let alone off a dating app). Still, I agreed to go and meet up.
The date was okay, he didn’t wow me but we had an okay conversation, and was nice enough. We just didn’t have a spectacular connection and not that much in common.
Here’s where I feel ass-holey about the whole thing. He insisted on paying for the meal (just meal, we didn’t get drinks), and I let him. When we left he followed me to my car and hugged me and might have tried to kiss me if I let him, but I panicked and let go and got in my car. After the date the next day he messaged and said he had a wonderful time and would like to see me again. I resisted the MASSIVE urge to ghost him but didn’t and said as politely as possible that I didn’t feel like we hit it off and didn’t want to see him again. He then unmatched me and blocked me.
Since I am not used to dating strangers, AITA for not giving this nice enough guy a second date after letting him pay for my meal? I feel horrible for letting my anxieties get to me and dumping a nice guy who obviously liked me, even though I didn’t feel much for him back.
TL;DR Nice guy took me on a nice date and paid for everything and I rejected him for a second date and I feel horrible about it. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 7,
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OTHER
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{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
p03qemlxKP7AQ6kv5yK2tTzvVm4x8y0S
|
a5cfrj
|
{
"description": "asking my grieving brother to stop using photo of deceased relative online",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
WIBTA if I ask my grieving brother to stop using photo of deceased relative online?
|
One of my close relatives passed away recently and it all happened quite suddenly. I will be the first to admit that I haven't really started processing it and I don't really think I'm grieving properly just yet. I'm not in denial, I know she has gone but I'm still in shock and I don't know how to feel.
However a lot of my other relatives are taking her passing particularly hard and are posting a lot of RIP messages on social media. While I understand they want to express their grief, I've always felt it was weird posting these things on social media because a) my relative never really used social media and b) she'll never see it.
My brother has gone a step further and changed his profile picture to a photo of my relative that has died, and I feel a bit uncomfortable about it. Everytime I get a message or notification from him, her photo pops up and it always takes me a second to realize its him. I feel guilty every time I see it, not only because Im not grieving properly for her, but also because we just talk normally to each other and don't spend every minute talking about her. It just generally makes me feel guilty and weird everytime I see it. Its like getting a reminder on my phone everyday that she's gone.
I want to let him grieve in his own way and I don't want to upset him even more as he is (understandably) sensitive at the moment. He was closer than I was with my relative, but I'm finding it difficult to see her photo everyday.
So, WIBTA if I asked him to change his photo/stop posting on social media because it makes me uncomfortable?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
wtAQCFxVJJjocbmE8ON7SjGDDNlCtWU0
|
b13q2u
|
{
"description": "being friends with my ex's sister",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being friends with my ex's sister?
|
So a few years ago I met my ex and her (1 year younger) sister. My ex was close with her sister and we all ended up being part of the same group of friends and would regularly hang out together. This lasted about 2 years until I broke up with my ex, however we had an 'its complicated' breakup that lasted another couple years where we remained friends and would occasionally hook up.
During this time I continued being friends with my ex's sister and we actually grew to be very close friends from supporting each other's troubles during this time.
Ok then a year ago I had a big fight with my ex and we stopped talking to one another or being friends with each other... But I didn't stop being friends with her sister as she is one of, if not my closest friend.
So just a few days ago I got a random call from my ex who asked to talk. When I met with her she told me that me being in her life made it so she had trouble moving on, and wanted me out entirely and asked if I can stop hanging out with her sister. She already asked her sister the same thing and she refused saying she wasn't going to give up a good friend just because my ex wants her to. I sided with her sisters argument and said I wasn't going to end my friendship with her sister, but I would be willing to make changes like trying to avoid going to parties if I know my ex would be there.
So now I'm thinking maybe I really am making my ex's life worse by still being friends with her family and being a reminder there in the corner... So AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"EVERYBODY": 1,
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}
|
NOBODY
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
zaTRQtXNGeeRSAsLObHDdgx58pHKEp0D
|
abg8wm
|
{
"description": "pitying the poor",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for pitying the poor?
|
My mom was telling me how I shouldn’t feel bad for this one lady at my church. She works 50 hours a week at the Wendy’s late night shift and my mom (btw we’re wealthy) was telling me how it was this lady’s choice so we shouldn’t pity her or feel bad for her bc it’s rude. I was just suggesting like bringing something for the holidays for her because her work life seems to be stressing her out and my mom was telling me how treating the poor like that is condescending and the lady would’ve chosen another job if she didn’t want to work at Wendy’s (ok mom....). Anyways am I an asshole for feeling bad for her esp bc my parents are rich? (I’m in high school so I still live w them)
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 9,
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}
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OTHER
|
{
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RIGHT
|
ScTMINJfNHjvICJHkV8o12tpwkbEV9wT
|
b3oe61
|
{
"description": "telling a person, who's had their feelings hurt by a person, that it's probably happening because they won't stop complaining online and very obviously vaguebooking",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA, if I tell a person, who's had their feelings hurt by a person, that it's probably happening because they won't stop complaining online and very obviously vaguebooking?
|
I have a friend we will call Karen. (This is a throwaway to protect the innocent.) Karen is divorced. Karen lost primary custody of her kids for unrelated issues, but her second spouse is gone while Karen's first husband, Mike, is happy with his new wife and having custody of the kids he had with Karen.
Karen is constantly vague-booking on Facebook about what's obviously her issues with Mike and the new Mrs. Mike. Things about gaslighting, what a strong independent woman she is, how nobody has the right to take her place, yada yada.
Karen's kids are all well old enough to be on social media, and one of the kids had a big milestone happen. Nothing as big as a wedding or graduation, but big nonetheless. Karen is upset that the child didn't tell her about it, child spoke to Mike and Mrs Mike for advice and guidance. Karen found out about it via social media after the fact.
WIBTA for telling her to stop acting like a 13 year old girl on her Instagram and Facebook? It's obvious to anyone who doesn't allow themselves to be whipped into an emotional shitstorm, that this is why the kids don't invite her for everything. Because it ends up being drama, and making it about herself. Her kids have even said that and the justification is ” I'm their mother, they wouldn't exist without me.”
It's obvious that Karen has no boundaries, and frankly, is kind of a pain in the ass, but I care about Karen. I want to point out that posting snark is the actual worst way possible to fix the relationship, but I don't want to end up being on the business end of a proverbial bat.
Do I keep my mouth shut knowing that Karen will keep pulling this crap and wonder why her kids avoid her? Or do I point out what should be obvious, knowing that I'll probably just get chewed out.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
9V0xCbm2GW09N8by7eEtXQHsgSI2mX7V
|
api0aj
|
{
"description": "not helping out at my job today even though I'm available",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not helping out at my job today even though I’m available?
|
I just started at a new job and while I want to make a good impression, I also don’t want to lay the ground work for them to start taking advantage of me. I’m not on the schedule yet so I was told I would receive a call last night regarding me working today. I did not receive a call and assumed I wasn’t needed, I stayed up and got drunk instead of going to bed early. I get a call at 7:30 this morning that woke me up, I ignored it. 15 minutes later I get a text asking me to confirm that I can be there at 10. No. Absolutely fucking no. If they had told me this at 7:30 last night, absolutely would have been no problem. If I say yes today then they will call me and wake me up giving me no notice all the time. What they did was annoying and I’m not going to reward it by giving them what they want. Am I an asshole for not being grateful for the time? Are they assholes for waking me up expecting me to be there in 2.5 hours? I returned the text saying I already made other plans and they haven’t responded. Now I’m feeling bad, but should I?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 10,
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}
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
LB9RLUMw5QjYplEePpXBG5EvJiFjI4h6
|
b1ywsp
|
{
"description": "having a gay best friend",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for having a gay best friend
|
please read before making judgment
so at uni we have a LGBT group.
I've been going for a few months and love it.
yesterday I mentioned that I had a gay best friend, but I added that both me and him play up the stereotype when we hang out.
so he is super gay and I'm super lesbian.
we've been doing it for years and our friend group loves it.
they took major offense to it and said I was using him, I said that we both do it to each other and it's just a joke. he also was the one who thought of the idea, they still took offence to it.
they then gave me the side eye until I decided to leave.
AITA for having a gay best friend.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
TFgDZ4c2RHoUAw1qcPjAucFpoXLL1t0g
|
ag94i4
|
{
"description": "not giving up alcohol completely when living with a recovering addict",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not giving up alcohol completely when living with a recovering addict?
|
My (38f) husband (41m) has suffered with alcoholism and addiction for a number of years. He entered rehab last year and has since been clean. It's not been easy, for either of us, but I am extremely proud of him for his hard work.
I stopped drinking in our home when it became apparent he had problems with alcohol. While he was in rehab, I cleared all the wine glasses etc out of our house. While pre kids (we have a 6.5 and 2.5 year old) we did drink together a lot, since having them my drinking had gone right down anyway, but there had always been wine in the house and I would typically have a glass or two Friday/Saturday night. Never having a glass of wine at home since then is a bit of a downer, as obviously it's nice to unwind with a glass after a rough week, but it's 100% worth it to support my husband in his recovery and it's nothing to the changes he's had to make in his life. And I am definitely feeling the health/lifestyle benefits of cutting my drinking right down.
Now what I have NOT done is give up alcohol entirely. He knows I'll have a glass or two with some mum friends every so often on a Friday evening. On Saturday, I went out to a friend's birthday party and as I seldom drink any more, I was pretty hungover the following day (I still got up with the kids, pulled my weight around the house etc). I don't drink when I am with him, even when we are places where other people are drinking, as I don't think it's fair.
Now he has never accused me of being an arsehole, and I don't REALLY want to give up drinking entirely. But I am sure it's not easy for him when he knows I've been out unwinding with friends over some wine, and while I don't NECESSARILY think I'm TA, I feel a bit of a nagging sense of guilt for drinking. But equally I don't want to lie to him about drinking as that's not healthy! I hope this does not read as a validation post as I think people would be justified in telling me I am an arsehole for this. AITA for not quitting drinking?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
N6hebUJANoRdBqmBtTRrNWip9rajOoHI
|
aqzf44
|
{
"description": "telling a girl how I felt when she had something come up when we were supposed to go out on a date",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
Aita for telling a girl how I felt when she had something come up when we were supposed to go out on a date
|
So I have this girl added on Snapchat that lives a couple towns away from me, she was very nice and we talk everyday, we had a 9 day Snapchat streak, because we talked everyday. So I work overnight, and she works in the afternoon so as far as seeing each other goes we barely can, but we both were off yesterday which was Thursday AKA Valentine's day
so this whole week we were talking about meeting up to go get some ramen noodles on Valentine's day, and we agreed for 4 p.m. there was a state of emergency in my state 2 days ago that made it so my dough didn't ship in until 4 am, so I had to stay and bake everything at my job and left at 9 am, when I would usually have to leave at 5 am. you would expect me to be tired and pissed off, but I'm actually happy when I'm leaving work because I have plans to hang out with this girl later.
So I go home and fall asleep, and I wake up to her giving me a snap saying she's sorry that something came up and she's out with her friends right now. She said she can hang later, and I told her oh yeah that's fine let's hang out when you get home. So she gets home around 6 or 7, and she sends me another snap saying that she's busy once again, that's something came up at her house. This honestly ruined my day.
I looked forward to hanging out with this girl for such a long time, just for her to seemingly blow me off. I took a nap and woke up around 11:30 p.m. and realize that she didn't text me to hang out at night. What transpired happens in my previous r/rant post. In the comments of that post you'll find what I sent to her, somebody told me to send her how I truly feel, so I did. I told her that I understand her situation, that I know things come up but we had a plan to hang out and I told her that it ruined my day that we couldn't hang out, because it's not like we can hang out everyday.
She was asleep so I didn't get a text till a couple hours ago. And she was having none of it, she didn't necessarily tell me I was a horrible person, but her whole demeanor changed. I could tell she didn't want to talk to me anymore, she vilified me for no reason. she basically told me that she didn't want to talk to me anymore.
I told her how I felt one more time, how I wish she would just fucking tell me what's going on instead of being so vague, and then I removed her as a friend on Snapchat. I feel like I didn't do anything wrong, however my mind is conflicted, I screen recorded all of our snap conversations, and I will post them for further clarification if need be. I just don't know how.
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
mHRcUBrlcxGWBZY1XPIu10AqFb9uRdqC
|
agb1e4
|
{
"description": "moving on too quickly",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for moving on too quickly?
|
Last Saturday my girlfriend (well call her J) decided to break up with me, the breakup obviously wasn't pleasant, but it was by no means nasty. We had been together about 4 months and were pretty serious about each other. We would spend practically all day together and text into the early morning. Later that saturday J sends me a text to make sure I am alright, because she still cares about me. I tell her I'm alright, but the only way I can move on, is to find someone else, to which she says okay, we stopped talking for the rest of the weekend.
The next day, I feel lonely and just overall broken, so I took to tinder, I ended up getting a couple matches, including K, who I got to know and she is really cool. We have a lot in common, and get along real well, so I ask her out, she says yea and we tried to find a day where we both can. I felt pretty good, and went to sleep.
Yesterday, I was at home and recieved a text from her, asking about a friend giving her a ride, after no response from him, I end up giving her a ride. We talked and had a good time, which was the opposite of how I thought it would be. She ends up asking me for a ride home after, to which I agree, later I pick her up, and we go to talk. She takes my phone to put on music and finds that K sent me a message, she goes to check what its about, and gets a little jealous, but we end up moving passed it and talking about other things, including possibly getting back together. She ends up holding my hand while I drive home. That night, she texted me asking me about K, and is asking me why I'm talking to her instead, we talk until around 11:30 and then she says goodnight.
This morning, I said goodmorning to J, and after I ask how she is she said, idk. When J says idk, it usually means something is wrong, I was pretty sure it was about K, but she wouldn't respond to anything I said. I tried to talk to her in the hallway, she said she was alright, after that, the only thing she would say to me was, go talk to K, just go talk to K.
My friends say I did nothing wrong, except for one who says I moved on way too quickly, and am trying to hurt her. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
FNRf3K4GKrL8fOENxgDEy3T5wtKhCZEn
|
b96xhv
|
{
"description": "thinking my co-worker/classmate perpetuated a sexual harassment claim",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA if I think my co-worker/classmate perpetuated a sexual harassment claim?
|
Without giving away too many details, I am a grad student at a large university. Occasionally, I attend university sponsored recruiting events. In this situation, the event was at a bar.
The co-worker in question is very active in the feminism community. She always seems to be in situations where a guy is acting creepy, like she's had guys show up unannounced to her house, she's had guys say really inappropriate things to her in public, school, at the gym, getting catcalled etc. We all support her, but I think the general consensus in our group is that the degree and frequency of her experiences is certainly an outlier.
So, we're at this event, and a guy approaches us. We recognize him as a university employee. He's had too much to drink. Uncomfortable, but harmless. After a few side-eye glances from the 3 or 4 so people in the group, we slowly excuse ourselves, well all of us except our co-worker in question. I KNOW that she's sober, because she drove home, so alcohol isn't a factor. But she insists on talking, and even flirting, with this guy. We tried multiple times to pull her away, to get her to go to the bathroom, to pull her into another conversation, but she insisted on continuing the interaction, stone faced.
She just kept saying "I'm fine, don't worry." He tries to put his arm around her, and she pulls away, clearly saying that she doesn't want to be touched, but then agrees to go to the back of the bar with this guy to play pool. Another attempt to pull her away, "Seriously, I'm fine. I can handle myself." She persists to stand there and continue to interact. We sent the event organizer over to ask if she would like to help counting tickets, and she again declined.
Later, she walks out of the bar and starts ranting about how uncomfortable she was and how that was totally inappropriate and it was sexual harassment and how she needed to file a report with the university.
So she files the report that Monday. A few classmates submitted statements corroborating her claim.
To me, it seemed like she hung around this guy a bit too long that night, with multiple opportunities to leave, and multiple people attempting to intervene, with her waving them all off.
&#x200B;
I think she baited him. I know it's terrible to say, but I what I saw was not a natural reaction to being harassed. What I saw was a calculated measure to solidify a harassment claim, and an eagerness to insert oneself front and center of the "Me too" movement. I'm not saying the guy isn't a scumbag, but I think that with her continued interaction with him it was clear that his physical advances weren't entirely uninvited.
&#x200B;
I don't know what to do. I don't know that submitting a statement of my own to the university will help things. I'm getting tired of hearing about her "experience" recounted \*ad nauseum\* among other women in our cohort, as if she's won some type of award, and I think I want to call her out. WIBTA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
upKWiqExEAcVcd1eWAv3CaqnBgcrtGzq
|
akksr9
|
{
"description": "not wanting to get back with my ex",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA I don’t want to get back with my ex
|
I’m 15 ,had a long distance gf (few months )younger over the summer.We got "frisky" did stuff.She became controlling and I broke things of.Later in the year around Christmas break I asked out her cousin who does live around me.She asked if I still had feelings for ex(no) and how I broke up with her.I made up an excuse when she ignored me saying how I hate long distance relationships(true) and how not seeing her made my heart ache(not true).Ex is furious when she finds out.Says a lot of things then just leaves me alone .She says she might move near me and asks that if she does that we get back together I said no.she sent explicit pictures and dragged my name through the mud online.I then said still beat tho and posted it on my feed.No one knew this but us. I hear she is being bullied and she still wants to get back together.And every time she asks I say no
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
WRONG
|
bZxWFmb57Bd7Wxr75KZ2iD1q1jBPaYJu
|
b4k7bm
|
{
"description": "undermining our \"Success Sharing\"",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for undermining our "Success Sharing"
|
I work part time for a large, orange, home improvement retailer. I get dental and flexible hours so the work isn't too bad; Other than the fact that "Success sharing" has been brought up like a hundred times in my last dozen shifts.
Having some business sense I know that Our SS payments will be under $15 a month and are pretty much irrelevant.
For the last month, when a associate has brought up "Success Sharing" I told them that I would much prefer a $1 dollar an hour raise and explained how much more money a year that would be.
Many employees have either refused to accept basic math or got depressed about their previous views.
AITA for destroying these employees positive views about the company with math.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 2
}
|
INFO
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
CdoUfaPGhqe1vF86AwVvzfk63OyA8ZEA
|
a2fi95
|
{
"description": "wanting to go to my great-grandma's funeral",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA: for Wanting to go to my great-grandma's funeral?
|
My great-grandma has sadly passed away a few days ago. I've missed a lot of school this year and her funeral is tomorrow. I really wanted to go but my parents are not willing to take me. I feel selfish for being frustrated and bothering my parents during a rough time, but I really love my great grandma and want to go to her funeral. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
lPJYvb6c7rJTVAK1fqmMlhl3FLT2peQF
|
av62iw
|
{
"description": "wanting my dad to break up and kick out his gf",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting my dad to break up and kick out his gf?
|
My dad and his current gf fight a lot. He doesn’t have any feelings for her but doesn’t want to breakup with her and seem like the bad guy since she has nowhere to go (her parents and daughter lost their homes in the fires in Paradise). She’s constantly lying about stuff and making my father pay for her car payments, insurance and phone bills. As well as taking bills from his wallet to buy cigarettes.
She starts huge arguments and tries to bring my 12 year old sister and myself into their arguments to agree with one of their points of view. We always choose my dads cause she never makes any sense. We suspect that she’s doing some form of drugs because sometimes she’ll come back from a drive and be acting all jittery and not making any sense.
She’s also put my indoor only cats in danger by leaving the door open at night time and allowing them to get out. We live across the street from a large area of empty desert filled with coyotes. They could have been killed but she keeps leaving the door open when she goes out to smoke.
All of this has caused my dad major stress. And despite being a 5’1” 106 pound girl, I’m protective of my 5’11” 260 pound dad. I’ve seen him in toxic relationships where I begged him to leave and he finally did.
But no matter what I say, he keeps saying that she can stay in our house even if they don’t act like a couple. My father hasn’t shed a tear since my high school graduation and she recently has gotten him so stressed during an argument that he’s gotten choked up. It breaks my heart when my dad is hurt.
My grandparents love her though despite what she does. They think I should stay out of their business and just let him handle it. They say it’s adult business even though I am an adult.
So AITA for wanting my dad to break up and kick her out already?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
KgbvjgO2WFp0vhbcc3rK09EbdNZrtWWE
|
aar4gu
|
{
"description": "not attending my friends new year party due to that someone who I do not want to be in the same room is attending",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not attending my friends new year party due to that someone who I do not want to be in the same room is attending?
|
I got accused being asshole for that but I really do not agree with any of them. They say that they wanna celebrate with me, so I should go there.
The dude who throws the party does not care and invited both of us.
The one I do not want to communicate, knows that I do not want that kind of social interaction and also I respect the decision of cutting me from its life.
I just don’t care about new year and don’t want to see that person.
I told them we can see each other a day after or before. I think they simply don’t respect my decision, they think I am being too stiff. Because it’s a public event, it does not require interaction, so you just should come, they say. I simply don’t agree.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
l8MTCZzc9j6yCA3BT55W6lZT0GvFj0sp
|
akcoql
|
{
"description": "not wanting to forgive my former friends",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to forgive my former friends? (TL;DR at bottom)
|
So this situation requires some background.
Me, A and B have been really close friends since we were young. Primary school, perhaps. I trusted them with all my heart and told them all my secrets, and they did the same thing to me. Grade 5 comes, and suddenly we’re not in the same class. I was all alone, while A and B were in the same class. We started drifting apart, and from what I’d heard, A, B and C became really close friends. C was the popular bitch you had in every grade. I didn’t think much of it at the time.
So one day I go to school, and I see them in the hallways. I say hi to them, but they act like they didn’t see me. I thought that hey, they were probably busy and so didn’t think much of it. So I go to class, and suddenly everyone acted like jerks to me. I was constantly bullied, and even the teachers hated me. I wasn’t that bad of a student either.
Turns out that A and B had spilt all my secrets to C and C started spreading them and some other rumors, and basically turned the whole grade against me. I was miserable for the rest of primary school, my grades started slipping terribly, and most importantly, I was lonely.
Primary school finally ends, and I go to high school, only later did I find out that it’s the same high school as A and B. Suddenly, A and B comes up to me, and asks for my forgiveness. But I don’t want to forgive them, am I the asshole?
TL;DR: My closest friends betray and bully me, only to ask for my forgiveness which I don’t want to give, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
pqmmcAhxeX3m8NnKKuXyShJ7Q3FFAqvq
|
a8ftj1
|
{
"description": "getting mad at my friend when he smokes weed I partly paid for",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting mad at my friend when he smokes weed I partly paid for?
|
Me and my friends are young and we don’t have much money for weed. We usually buy a dab pen because it’s a lot more convenient. We all pay about 15 dollars (4 of us). We leave the pen at my friends house who sometimes invites his other “friends” and they rip that dab. It makes me mad because I think my friend is getting exploited by these people because they want free weed and he wants “cooler” friends. I’m also mad because we’re all spending money on it and he’s giving it away. The kids who come to house are only coming because they know they’ll get free weed. They aren’t really friends with him. Whenever I bring it up he says I need to chill and says I get jealous that he hangs with other people. The other friends in the group aren’t rubbed the wrong way as much as I am.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
zvc9vdbQhkh6nJ7smErieQUAWFpFYf7c
|
b83oy2
|
{
"description": "spilling coffee on my so's sheets",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA for spilling coffee on my SO's sheets?
|
I was sat up in bed with a fresh mug of coffee while my SO was lying next to me. I was holding the mug tightly with both hands resting in my lap with the covers directly beneath me and I hadn't spilled a drop. Suddenly, my SO decided to roll over in bed, taking the covers with her leaving me powerless to stop the mug moving and the coffee from sloshing over the sides and onto her freshly washed, white sheets. She is adamant this is all my fault and that I therefore have to wash the sheets.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 9
}
|
WRONG
|
LO0IOVUzoFfKZvo7CRARFpACWZkpBHxG
|
a9ktpw
|
{
"description": "not letting a girl run off drunk",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not letting a girl run off drunk
|
So I have a friend, let me preface that she is only a friend & I never had anything malicious planned (she did drunkingly kiss me, but I stopped that immediately).
So she and I booked a hotel room for the night given that we’re both alone and away from family & didn’t want to spend Christmas Eve alone, there was tequila involved and she eventually got VERY drunk. During the evening she was texting a guy and i guess he told her to come over or something and she was dead set on leaving, I did not let her leave for three reasons:
1- She was EXTREMELY drunk, to the point where she wasn’t able to walk by herself (made me help her get to the bathroom). I’m pretty sure she was planning to drive, considering we took her car there.
2- We are both under the age limit (both over 18, under 21); yes I know that’s pretty stupid, but I never imagined her to be such a such a bad drunk. Plus I didn’t want her to get noticed by the staff and potentially get in trouble for being under age.
3- I didn’t feel right letting her go to some guys house considering the state in which she was and be potentially taken advantage of. She had already talked about the guy, and how she knows that he only wants to have sex with her.
She eventually gave up trying to leave, and fell asleep. I kind of freaked out, but I’m not sure if I did the right thing.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
TJQmXU9jBS1PLAe4bu9QjclmMZLPUMfR
|
a9abct
|
{
"description": "questioning my brother's choice to invite some of his wife's 'friends' for a surprise party for his wife",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for questioning my brother's choice to invite some of his wife's 'friends' for a surprise party for his wife?
|
So my brother decided to have a surprise get together for his wife and enlisted my help in setting everything up. My brother mentions to me the day of, he's inviting his wife's 'best friends' in his words who I know are clearly not. A little context. My brother's wife is partially white while 90% percent of his friends are black including us. No particular reason, just environment. Obviously I don't care about any of that. Also she is from another country and moved here to marry my brother. She had zero friends upon moving here, so naturally she became 'friends' with my bros friends.
Anyways, some of his friends are a bit ... racist, I believe at least. They don't think they are though, because they are black or at least not white. They constantly make jokes about her being white, and it's literally the topic of every joke, which she is ALWAYS the bottom of. I hate how they act, and it get's very uncomfortable sometimes, but she half-heartedly goes along with the jokes and puts herself down to get along. These are grown people who choose to live this way, not much I can do. I try to respect boundaries.
Anyway my sister in laws, 'best friend' when she first met her, went on a racist tirade about how she couldn't say the word picnic because it's racist and totally spazzed out on her in front of everyone. She's not the only one and not much has really changed since then, and these are my brothers close friends. It seems to me she just associates with them because of my brother. After a particularly bad incident not too long ago I had enough of his friends behavior. So, for the first time when my bro said he was inviting these people, I told him these are not really good people to invite and clearly not friends with my sis. in law, because of said reasons. He got pretty mad and basically told me I should just mind my business. Anyways, these 'best friends' of hers didn't even show up to the party. So, reddit, am I the asshole for trying to help?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
3HyZDs47RWYkpDJnmp6zeZZwY0gzWU1t
|
airwhv
|
{
"description": "telling my friend my salary",
"pronormative_score": 19,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for telling my friend my salary
|
First time posting, because I need unbiased opinion.
Few months ago I was applying for a job, that would start after my graduation. My first real job after uni.
I got the positive answer and waited for them to send my details of the job offer inc. the salary.
I was discussing the process and the offer with my friends A and B. A was more interested, so as soon as I got the full details I messaged her.
What I have to add is that A, B and I used to be roomates and at that time I was still roomates with B. Because of this connection as soon as I gave the information about my salary to A, I also messaged B, because I didnt want to keep it hidden. If I told A , in my mind I thought it was fair to tell B too.
After that A told me it was a good salary and was very happy for me.
B messaged me "what are you boasting about". No emojis, no message after that would suggest it was a joke.
After that I told B why I told her the details. She did not apologize for saying what she said.
She blamed for her feeling bad about the difference of salary between her position and mine. Everybody knows there would be a major difference between her working in the city were we studied and salary in the capital city, so it should not be a shock.
Also she told me that it is unfair that she works hard to be the best student and anyone (who does not work hard) can go to the capital and earn more.
Sorry for a long post.
TLDR; told my friend what my salary would be and she bashed me for boasting, implying I did not deserve it
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "not showing up to work",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not showing up to work?
|
About a month ago I approached my manager with concerns regarding my work schedule, as it had started to affect my performance in school. Being a senior in college is tough enough as-is, but I had been working between 30-35 hours a week and it was putting a serious strain on my ability to get work done and wake up for class on time. My average week would usually have me working on Monday, Wednesday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. I’d occasionally get one of those days off, but considering I’d be in class every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday (yes, I’m taking a class on Saturday right now and it’s awful) I found making myself unavailable on Mondays and Wednesdays to be a necessity as the semester went on.
Despite me communicating this to my manager, I’ve been scheduled nearly every Monday and Wednesday since. Maybe I was misunderstood, but I thought I made it clear that I would not be willing to work on those days as they made it harder to prioritize my class work. In order to clear things up, I approached her at the start of last week and made sure she had my availability in writing. Unfortunately, the schedules for the next 2-3 weeks had been made and I noticed I was scheduled every M and W on the calendar. I reluctantly agreed to work the shifts as scheduled in order to reduce the strain on my coworkers.
This leads us to today....
I received a text from my manager out of the blue yesterday. She informed me that coverage had been found for my shift today and that I didn’t have to come in. Perfect, I was ecstatic. I’ve got a number of projects due later this week, so having the extra time to work made my life a lot less stressful. I informed my group mates that I’d be working on my portions during the time off, so they’d have time to review them before submission, I set aside the time to focus on my work, and I felt a wave of relief in knowing I wouldn’t be bound to a drive thru for one more day this week. I finished up at work yesterday evening, went home with a smile, and noticed that I had received another text from my boss about an hour after I had gotten off. Apparently, my coverage had canceled on her and she wanted to make sure I could still work today. Great.
Now, normally, I’d agree that if you’re scheduled to work, you’re responsible for that shift. If coverage cancels, that still falls on you to make sure that someone is there for your shift. However, given that I shouldn’t have been scheduled in the first place AND I had already been promised the day off, I’m seriously considering not showing up today. In fact, what I’d really like to do is; go in at my scheduled time, collect my tips, tell them I’m not working today, and putting in my two-weeks at the same time. I can’t stress enough how fed up I am with work as it is and this seems like a great opportunity deal with that...
My question is: if I decide not to work today, AITA?
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "smacking my friend when he interrupted me",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 10
}
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AITA for smacking my friend when he interrupted me
|
Backstory: my friend is very liberal and I am very conservative. Despite our differences we get along great. However when we get into arguments about politics, he loves to interrupt and use fallacies to back up his claims and it’s exhausting to call him out on it every time he interjects.
So we had a particularly hot water subject come up and I said “look, I will only get into this if you promise not to interrupt. If you interrupt I will smack the shit out of you.” And he said “okay cool.” Not 15 seconds into my schpeel he interjects with “okay but...” and I slap him across the face. All of a sudden he gets mad and starts yelling at me for getting violent.
Am I the asshole?
And in case anyone’s curious we’re good, stuff like this blows over all the time.
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HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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{
"description": "letting my Parents parent my sister",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
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AITA For Letting My Parents Parent My Sister
|
My sister, Grace, has autism. She's high functioning, but severely lacks in social skills and self awareness. She is prone to meltdowns, has difficulty taking accountability for her wrongdoings, and gets frustrated easily - making schoolwork a nearly impossible feat. Since I spent the most time with her, I started to figure out how to effectively communicate with her, and even made progress in toning down her temper. When I was around, even before I was a teenager, she knew how she was supposed to behave, she seemed to be developing steadily, and she cared more about school and learning.
I moved out about three years ago, and moved states a little over one year ago. My parents absolutely weren't ready for that, they're super protective of me and have openly said that I am their only chance of having a "normal daughter." I've always gotten good grades, been "mature" for my age, and am going to be the first person in my family to have obtained a college degree. Additionally, I took care of Grace. I effectively raised her. She was, and continues to be, a stressful child - so much so that I developed severe anxiety as a result of having to care for her, and have full blown panic attacks when I hear children crying. For those reasons, I was the one who was sent in to calm and punish her, my parents never wanted to.
Now that I'm gone, Grace is being...enabled. Our parents are so afraid of her leaving them too, that they no longer punish her. The worst they do is take her phone when she has failing grades, but do nothing to help her understand the material. When she throws tantrums because she wants something, they always cave and give it to her. She doesn't make her own food, wash dishes, fold clothes, and even still has my mother pick her clothes and check to make sure she's washed all the shampoo out of her hair. She just turned 16. Most days, she sits inside all day and watches YouTube, eats junk food, and actively avoids showering, brushing her teeth, and leaving the house. I've forwarded my parents countless phone numbers, addresses, websites and so forth with resources for her, so they can help her *become a person* \- but they're content just letting her continue to stagnate.
So, I guess what I'm asking is: **AITA for knowing all this and not going back home?** I keep watching her get older and somehow act younger than when I saw her last. She still "baby talks" and calls my parents Mommy and Daddy. Her peers are getting jobs and drivers' permits, and she's sitting inside asking me how to use a microwave. When I was "raising" her, she was only slightly behind her peers in terms of cognitive and social development, now it seems like she may never catch up.
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "honking at someone blocking me in a parking lot",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
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|
AITA for honking at someone blocking me in a parking lot?
|
Hello all,
Today I was leaving a parking lot that was fairly crowded and tiny. There was an Escalade competely blocking my path as I was trying to leave. A full family was saying goodbye.
There was no room to back up and they were completely blocking the path, for something that I felt could have been done inside the restaurant we just left, rather than after half the family got in their car to drive away.
I honked. It led to some dudebro walking up to my car and threatening me. Daring me to step out, etc. I'm 6'2, and I'm not a body builder but I have muscles and I weigh a bit, I wasn't afraid but the whole thing had me (and has me) confused. Am I really totally deplorable for wanting to not have to deal with waiting for this shit?
I await your judgement. Please help to me clarify and if necessary better myself.
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "moving back to my hometown to escape what I consider an abusive relationship",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for moving back to my hometown to escape what I consider an abusive relationship?
|
Buckle up folks because this is a long one.
So about 2 and a half years ago I reconnected with a girl I met online from canada that really seemed to click with me, we shared alot of personal interests, links, etc. She was in this on off thing with another guy and living with an abusive father. She sends me a nude which causes the on off guy to flip out on me over Skype and I not wanting drama backed off for awhile but something about her hooked me like a drug. We start talking again and she says she wants to be with me and builds up the idea of a dream future. I'm into it naturally but she seems really avoidant of making our status known to anyone which is fine, shes got that weird ex right? So I message a mutual friend and he blows up and starts a shitstorm of drama because she was evidently sexting him, the ex, and making plans with me. I have alot of drama in the place I'm living at the time and see red flags so I deuce and end up in another relationship that I rapidly lose interest in but hang around because it's better than where I was before (I am the asshole for that I know)
Jump forward 6-7 months and she starts messaging me on Skype again and we reconnect as friends and I tell her I still think about her and flirt a bit, a week or two later she sends a picture of her wet panties to my Skype while I'm at work and current gf sees it at home and almost kicks me out making me homeless across the country from family so once again seeing a red flag I block her on everything, 4 months later current gf cheats on me when I play fallout 4 after it comes out for 3days so I say screw it and deuce. Being in a bad place mentally and stuck moving in with parents again because my car died in a flood and I didnt have much money, i cant stop thinking about Canada girl so i unblock and message her, shes moved out of her dads, broken things off with the ex more completely and now has an american trucker friend paying for her apartment while she is slowly slipping into depression from abusive father and ex(he had been visiting her a few times at this point) we hit it off again and trauma bound over childhood stuff (toxic abusive mother and constant fighting as i grew up with step dad) and one day she just vanishes for 18 hours and I panic because shes had several prior suicide attempts. I call numerous people trying to figure out if shes okay including a guy who she hung out with irl sometimes, he flips out on me and tries to tell me to go find an american girl so that sets off a weird flag... she calls me a short time later with a black eye and mad I contacted her friend up there (I somehow ignored alot of red flags)
Suddenly she drops a bomb on me, her dad showed up and hit her "accidentally" because she wouldn't hug him and she also breaks down and informs me of just how abusive he was when she lived with him. In the following month she spirals out hardcore, trucker friend lost job, she isnt working, food runs out, shes starving slowly to death, suddenly starts acting really strange and informs me she ordered helium to off herself. I call a crisis team immediately because I've fallen hard at this point and I've lost several friends to suicide so its terrifying to just let someone go through that, cop and psych lady show up, ask questions, she convinces things are fine and they leave. She panics after because she self medicated for epilepsy with weed and didnt want to get in trouble but she also cancels the helium order.
At this point she starts disappearing on me again but I dont give up because I'm terrified she'll off herself. Turns out shes talking to abusive ex again, so I in my infinite wisdom, somehow get roped into a 3 way relationship for the sake of getting her away from stalker father and not ending up homeless or starving to death. Trucker guy also has job again at this point and wants to help too (hes her friend of 15 years who has always been hung up on her but she refuses to date because shes not into him)
SO the first 3 months of the 2 year shit saga begin... I fly up, the other 2 drive up a week later, I help her get her passport renewed, clean up her apartment (which is a disgusting wreck, she was letting her dog shit on the balcony and it was like 4 inches thick but I was in the army and a plumber at one point so fuck it, shes been through some fucked up shit, I'll clean the place nbd) she meanwhile fucks me like crazy and ignored her ex and tells me she just roped him in to help get this all done (hes already been a sleezebag, I moved in with him shortly before going up to Canada and his place was a shithole too and I guess I have a bleeding heart) and shed drop him after. So first we drive all the way to trucker guys hometown with ex guy trying to sexualize her and grope her every chance he got despite her trauma and her not initiating and obviously being uncomfortable and telling him to stop.
After a weird argument there with her being pissed with everyone but me; me her and ex continue to his place against everything she had told me before, basically I end up having 2 or 3 threesomes minus the fact the guy gives a weird vibe, her and ex start having arguments that spiral into insanity and end with her locking herself in the bathroom and self harming(no shame, just stating for clarity) and only allowing me In to calm her down, he knocks her up but we dont know it at the time (I'm sterile from birth because mom smoked and drank while pregnant, its caused 2 other relationships to end which is why I got tested because having a kid wasnt working out) and she starts getting really sick he takes her to hospital while I'm at work and i get a call saying he "lost her" she freaked out and had an argument and let her walk off in a major city by herself in a delirious state and she gets lost and almost snatched but she goes knocking on doors and a stranger helps her back. A day or two later upset at him, she goes through his laptop and desktop. First she finds out he cheated on her with 14 other people and then she finds 10 gigs of .... well some shit you just cant fucking unsee. It's all I can do not to kill the bastard and I feel sick af about everything, she blows up his Facebook, he comes home, immediately wipes hard drives and destroys computers while we pack up and gtfo.
Queue Feb of 2017, it's already been the most insane shit I've ever been apart of in my life, but she has me hooked and convinced we need eachother. We move up to Trucker guys hometown and he helps us get set up before she starts getting really sick again (we hadn't been eating well at this point because money got drained away by her "needing" weed, bills and ex guy being literal garbage) so we take her to a hospital there, she finds out shes 3-4 months pregnant and insists on abortion because it's ex guys kid and hes a pedo. I personally do not support abortion myself but I do believe in your body your choice. We end up going to the wrong clinic and it gets botched, she almost bleeds out but makes it, recovery is long and I spend the next few months keeping the house somewhat clean (I've been the only one cleaning since this started) and we have a backyard now so I lax on walking the dogs. Meanwhile with no vehicle I've found a job 1.5 miles away from the house at a mcdonalds and it's the best I can do but I'm walking there and back every day and I start losing steam on keeping up with the housework solo while she recovers for the next 3-4 months evidently, in this time I catch her flirting with other guys online and lying to me about things, she also caught me apologizing to my previous ex in secret because with what I've let go at this point, breaking up with her and deucing seemed pretty shit.
Shes not getting periods at this point, something is wrong, not pregnancy, some super rare shit where uterine tissue turns into bone and it blocks the way. So she has to have another surgery around this time last year, they fail at fixing it and retry (successfully) a few weeks later and she has to have a catheter for a week, in this time period she told me shed leave if I didnt let her have an open relationship and I caved because I have problems and we've already been through so much and she still talks about suicide. I say it's okay as long as I'm informed/involved and she starts acting shady. I had work the day of the first surgery and I came home and had a weird feeling after some recent arguments about her suddenly telling me shes poly and how I'm not meeting her needs (but she doesnt want to have sex at this point because pain, ex, trauma, etc.) And I find out shes been lying to me about video chatting with a guy who bought her a vibrator and she was sexting him the whole time and logs prior to her getting me to agree to the open relationship thing (meanwhile i have no desire to pursue anyone else, I have enough to deal with) so I send her a text saying "we need to talk" and she flips out and says I'm a piece of shit for causing her anxiety when she just had surgery and it turns into the first of many terrible arguments where she turns everything around on me. Christmas eve me and trucker guy have been making trips to Colorado to get her weed, the red a horrible blizzard, hes a dumbass and I warn him to slow down and we get into an almost fatal wreck with the trailer of a semi, trucks totaled, hes fine, I have bruised ribs from bouncing off center console (get a Ford f150 if you wanna feel safe lol) we have to jump through some hoops but we make it home in time for xmas, a few days later shes picking fights about me walking the dogs or doing housework because she just had surgery but I'm still going to my new job at a phone store making more money and supporting us both with bruised ribs which is agony in and of itself, fast forward (there's alot of fights she starts over minor shit
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "rejecting a gift my girlfriend was making for me",
"pronormative_score": 3,
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|
AITA for rejecting a gift my girlfriend was making for me?
|
Before you judge me, here’s some context to the situation
I have been sick with a cold for two days, and I haven’t been able to see my gf of 4 months in that period of time. I’ve also been feeling a bit down because of my cold, and that caused me to be a bit cranky, especially today.
My gf and I have both made it clear that we feel awkward when we receive gifts without any occasion or anything to give in return, and to be honest, I feel guilty a lot when this happens
So I was sick today, I’ve been laying in bed all day and I couldn’t go to school. Lately I’ve been feeling cranky as my eyes were burning and I was just done with the world at that time. Then, my gf announced that she was making a gift for me, and I tried to be as excited as I could make up, considering I wasn’t feeling receiving a gift, and not wanting gifts in general. She didn’t buy it and obviously knew something was wrong. I tried to make it sound like I wanted the the gift but in the end I had to tell her that I wasn’t interested in it given the situation I was in
She then got emotional about it and, although she tried to make it seem like none of it was my fault, and it was hers considering I didn’t typically enjoy getting gifts, but I still felt like a dick about it, and I could tell she was upset, which didn’t help at all. I tried telling her I was sorry and I should have accepted the gift considering she took the time and effort into making it from scratch just to show that she loves me and cares for me, but it didn’t help the situation at all.
She recently went to bed and I sent her an apology text to show her that I care for her and I felt that I was in the wrong.
I sincerely believe none of it was her fault, but I still don’t know if I’m to blame for the whole situation.
So, AITA?
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HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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{
"description": "reconnecting with absent?? father",
"pronormative_score": 2,
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AITA For reconnecting with absent?? father??
|
AITA: This may not be the right feed, please redirect me if I have posted wrong. I am a grown, married, employed and a self supported 39 year old, just getting that out there to start with. When I was in grade school my parents divorced, it was not amicable. My father had an affair and left, we had little contact and he did not pay much in the way of child support, we did live near each other but there were many hard feelings from the divorce and my mother was and still is a very vindictive, grudge holding, negative person 30 years later, yes that's right 30 years. Both my parents remarried and my stepfather was a wonderful man and treated me well, very little was said about to my bio father and anything that was said was basically to the tune of how awful, sinful, evil, etc he and his family are. Fast forward, my stepdad passed away a while back and my mother is still angry, bitter, tired, sees everything as against her and on and on, my bio father and I have reconnected and began building a relationship and its been really nice. I know that what happened in the past 30 years wasn't always right but I'm not going to live my life and hang onto so much bitterness, spite and hate, I have cousins, half siblings that are nice and a step parent that is very nice also. We have kids in the same school and activities and as happy as he's been to reconnect it really makes me sad it took this long and as happy as he seems it really doesn't make sense that he stayed so out of touch, which makes me think a lot of it was my mother and her attitude, she has always been controlling and manipulative and I have realized this as I have grown and had children of my own. When she realized we had reconnected she flat out told me I had disappointed, betrayed and hurt her and how could I do that to her with the way he treated us? Newsflash--its not all about her and I explained to her it had nothing to do with her at all (wrong answer its all about her) and she now pretty much refuses to do anything where she may see him. She walked out of sporting events where we spoke to each other and refused to come to birthday parties for the kids if he was there. I actually don't miss her presence that much because most of my life she has put me down, criticized or controlled everything she can. My husband and friends have been supportive of me and I guess I just need some other opinions. Am I a horrible daughter? I am grateful for everything she has done for me and I have tried to see it from her side but at this point in my life I'm letting old stuff go and moving on with the positives.
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "telling my coworker to stop singing at work",
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|
AITA for telling my coworker to stop singing at work?
|
Ok so here it goes, I(20m) work at Starbucks closing down the store about 4-5 days a week. Now there’s this other dude there let’s call him Ben(19m), who used to work at the nektars juice bar next door to us. When he got hired we all thought “awesome, someone who’s already been working making drinks should fit right in here”.
We were then consequently warned by some of his old coworkers that he was a very lazy employee and that he sings while at work. When I first heard this I didn’t think it would be too bad but holy shit these people were not joking this dude will be singing the most random rnb melodies and the top of his lungs ALL DAY. At first everyone tried to be nice and just kind of ignore it but it’s really hard because he will only sing if you’re in his vicinity and he’ll kind of look to make sure you heard. Then we tried dropping hints saying things like “dang Ben you really do song a lot” but he would never get the point and I think he might’ve thought we were encouraging him.
So this goes on for about 4 months to the point where I dread every time I have to work with him. One day maybe about 2 weeks ago we are working together and if you’ve been to a Starbucks you know that we have this new cloud macchiato drink and Ariana grande is the ambassador for it, so because of this we have a new playlist on the music that is 65 of just her songs. So Ben, being a flamboyantly gay teenager that he his, knows every single lyric to every song on the playlist and was going hard as a motherfucker on the singing. Keep in mind we are in the middle of the high school rush, I’ve been on bar by myself for about 4 hours at this point, and it’s just me and him on the floor because my manager is on his thirty. In a fit of frustration and annoyance I turned to him a very aggressively said “Hey Ben would you PLEASE chill on the singing??? Like sing in your head or under your breath, that would be fucking GREAT” and went about my business making drinks. He seemed a little taken back by it but mostly stopped.
I kinda felt bad about it because I’m a musician myself and I never want to put anyone down or make someone doubt themselves, but I also don’t bring my guitar to work and play as loud as I can every chance I get!! I really only felt kinda bad until he started doing it again probably twice as often as before so I had to tell him again to stop the other day and he and my manager(who is basically Bens best work friend) seemed to be pretty upset by it. Now let me just say this, for all intended purposes Ben is a super nice guy that I get along with for the most part. It’s not like I hate the guys guts or anything we get along pretty well for the most part, I just can’t stand his singing! Am I the asshole here??
TDLR: Starbucks coworker won’t stop singing in my ear at work so I snapped at him and told him to be quiet
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "joking about my female friend and this new guy",
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|
AITA for joking about my female friend and this new guy?
|
I have this female friend of mine (N) who likes to tell people about this guy (K) and I have a thing with each other in front of him and I. The thing is we were actually in a discreet friends with benefits relationship and we went apart, but we were still friends.
The only person ever I told about my secret relationship is N because I really trust her. I am not really okay with her still shipping K and I together and telling our new friends about how we constantly fight but still have a thing with each other. (She never tells people about we were friends with benefits but she jokingly tells people she ships us) but I took it as a joke and don't really mind it.
My friend N is in a commited relationship with her boyfriend. She is very insecure about people always think that she's cheating by having fun with guys. I know that she just likes hanging out with guys platonically. I told her before, if she knows that she is not guilty, then she is not. She doesn't have to justify herself to other ignorant people who doesn't know about her relationship. If they want to think that she cheats, then let them be. There is nothing to hide in front of them. I know she loves his boyfriend very much and would never do such things.
So today, N, K and I invited this new guy (J) to hang out with us. She, like those days, told J about her ship for K and I in front of all of us. I myself knew that she was joking and was totally fine with it. When J was leaving, N wanted to send him off, I jokingly ask whether they want to kiss. Then N was so pissed off and went back home. K told me I was too far for saying that.
tl;dr: Am I the asshole for jokingly told my friend who has a boyfriend to kiss a guy we just met even though she told that guy about my ex fwb and I are meant to be together in front of us which is highly disrespectful?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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AUTHOR
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|
WRONG
|
iifK4bVKz2qrrN7JttKSuWNsMqjEYzyx
|
aludor
| null |
AITA : guy keeps on annoying, mildly threatening and in general harassing me about my favorite card game, and I one day had enough, so I punched him.
|
Alright, this has been going on for quite awhile, I'm into Yu-Gi-Oh, and said guy is a hardcore pokemon fan. every day when he sees me he shouts out YGO is trash and usually a direct insult to me, which I would generally respond to rudely too. one day when me and my friend (who is also a fan, of course.) were playing a round, he came up; ruined my deck, making me reshuffle and basically make it hard for me to continue the game, and when he asked for a fight ("anime style" in his words, lol.) (we've actually hit each other before mildly) my friend pinned him against the wall and I punched him in the nose, not too hard, but from hitting the wall he got a nosebleed. I apologised after after realising what sh*t I caused, yet he didn't let it go. I feel deep regret about it. So please, Am I/ are we the asshole(s)?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
EVERYBODY
|
{
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|
WRONG
|
fTGYFpF3tXvQsod5I8HUPPXP0ZIyBNNZ
|
avua1k
|
{
"description": "ordering pizza at an upscale italian chain",
"pronormative_score": 77,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA ordering pizza at an upscale Italian chain?
|
I promise this isn’t a shitpost.
Last weekend, my SO (21M) and I (21F) were taken out to dinner by an older family member of his. This was at a semi-upscale chain restaurant, not Olive Garden but very similar. After looking over the menu, I decided to order a $12 personal sized pizza. Wood fired pizza is one of my favorite things ever so I wanted to try theirs. Cue snickering from my SO and his relative. Okay whatever, I expected some lighthearted teasing since they know I’m a pizza addict and his family loves to tease over silly things. A little annoying but I’m more than used to it by now.
Later that night and for the next day or so afterwards, SO’s family member kept texting him things like “(my name) should have more respect” and “if you take her out for lobster she’ll just order pizza anyway.” Apparently my choice of meal really offended her? I genuinely don’t understand why it is such a big deal though. Their meals were in the ballpark of $20 each so it’s not like I ordered something pricey. To me, Americanized Italian food is mostly just different combinations of cheese, meat, bread, and sauce anyway so why my choice of meal is somehow inferior to theirs baffles me.
My SO is seemingly on the fence. I feel his relative may still be giving him a hard time about the scenario days later. He tried to get me to see the relative’s side and understand why that person sees it as a respect issue but also said he just doesn’t want to see me get bullied. I replied “why should I let someone bully me about my food then? that’s a middle school attitude and (relative) is acting like a special snowflake over it.” That might have been a little harsh but this relative is someone who criticizes the younger generation and constantly tells us we’re doing things wrong (cell phone usage, job hunting, etc) yet gets their panties in a twist over something as trivial as this. SO also thinks it reflects badly on me as being childish that I ordered pizza, but there was literally a whole section on the menu dedicated to pizzas (the regular menu, not a kids’ menu) so I figured it was fair game. I would probably even do it again.
I’m of the mind that caring so much what someone orders on the menu to the point where it affects what you think of their character (within reason, i.e. nothing more expensive or complicated than what the host and/or the rest of the table orders) is a petty social construct and honestly don’t feel like I did anything wrong. Maybe this is something I should just take in and let slide since that person was raised in a different time though, or maybe there’s another argument for why it’s disrespectful behavior that I’m just not seeing yet. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 77,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 77,
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}
|
RIGHT
|
KRezViji4w6oP5bW0pBK88X25qinLzLp
|
a2c70v
|
{
"description": "calling out a moderator for deleting every single persons reply because his got negative reviews",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for calling out a moderator for deleting every single persons reply because his got negative reviews ?
|
A moderator gave horrible incorrect advice. They were down voted by everyone who's seen the post, in return they removed everyone's advice.
I repeated my advice after seeing it deleted and also called out the moderator for doing so.
They banned me for 30 days off the subreddit and in my ban report, stated how calling they out wasn't a good idea.
Which honestly isn't a big deal but pretty funny, maybe because they took it so up the ass.
Was I wrong for calling them out ?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
14oY6YRj9Fyj4yoQMPtthdqXHAVa55AL
|
b73t6k
|
{
"description": "not letting my best friend stay with my wife and I while he's going through a divorce",
"pronormative_score": 39,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I didn’t let my best friend stay with my wife and I while he’s going through a divorce?
|
Best friend and I (both early 30s) have been basically brothers for 20+ years, and him and his wife were together for seven years and married for four. This last year he got a new job which made him very conceited and would go out every weekend with his new workmates who are all...quite misogynistic. I definitely noticed changes in the way he would treat people and pulled away a bit.
Three months ago he showed up at my place in tears saying he made a big mistake and his wife was leaving him because she found a thong under the bed that wasn’t hers and an email between him the workmates joking about hiring hookers. He swears up and down that he never cheated on her and never would and he was so devastated I had to believe him. His wife left him in the middle of the day without saying a word, just divorce papers and no one knows where she left to.
He was so broken and spent a lot of time talking to us about it, I know he really loved her and was totally blindsided but the situation also looked so bad from her end. We did our best to comfort and be there for him. A few weeks after all this, he stopped hanging out with us as much and started hanging out with his work friends a lot more. His attitude did a total 180, he wasn’t sad and moping around anymore but cocky. He got on this kick about how she probably elaborately set him up to leave him for another guy and pin all the blame on him because he got his friend to watch her at her work and she was eating her lunch with a guy. He suddenly started dating this new girl - my wife and I were pretty surprised but trying to be supportive asked him about her and he said, verbatim ‘she’s a butterface but always down to bone’. The new girlfriend started posting about them on Instagram in his hot tub that ex wife got him as a wedding gift with a caption that said ‘my hot tub, my man, my house now’ with the laugh emoji. Of course this got back to ex wife and she went absolutely psycho on him, telling him things so terrible I can’t include them in the post, trying to screw him as much as possible in the divorce and selling the hot tub in the middle of the day while he was at work.
Since this he’s been terrified of running into her and he’s convinced she’s going to mess with all his stuff or him or his girlfriend. He’s been begging me and my wife to let him stay with us for a few months while he tries to find a new place. We have a guest room but honestly don’t want him there. My wife is in a VERY stressful masters program and I want her to have as little stress as possible right now. She is getting really sick of him because he doesn’t take any of our advice. I want to help him because he seems like he’s headed down a dark path and needs me but I also would lose my mind if he lived here.
Would I be the asshole if I told him he can’t stay with us?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 38,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
sEvDBeEsrY0It6KotipKR7sVJA5iKBcz
|
9z7cpg
|
{
"description": "not wanting a second date with a woman who lied about being trans",
"pronormative_score": 40,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not wanting a second date with a woman who lied about being trans?
|
Sorry about the wall of text.
Some background: I'm a 25 year old bisexual cisgender woman. I've been out for about 8 years now and have been actively involved in the local LGBTQIA+ community. While I've never been in a serious relationship with a trans person, I've had friendships and casual sexual encounters with both trans men and women before. Generally speaking, if you're attractive, healthy, in decent shape, and we get along well, I'm happy.
I have a profile on a popular dating app and a really pretty lesbian (we'll call her Claire) sent me a message last week. We hit it off well and when I was reading her profile, it said, "Cisgender woman" as her gender. She was definitely my type physically, and after we flirted, sent each other sexy pictures, etc. we set a date to see each other on Friday. Date went well, we had a fun night at a club, and then we went back to Claire's place. As we're walking back from the subway, we were talking dirty to each other and given some of the stuff I said, like I couldn't wait to taste her pussy, etc. it was pretty clear what my expectations were at this point. As we were getting naked, she unzips her dress and I see she's wearing pads on her hips, a waist cincher, and when she takes off her panties, she has a penis. I didn't care about any of that beyond the fact that this whole time I thought she was a cisgender lesbian and that she had never once mentioned that she was trans, even after what we were saying to each other on the walk back from the subway. I've never had a trans partner hide their transgender status from me before, and to be honest, I was hurt that she hadn't said anything earlier. She saw that I was surprised and goes, "What? Something wrong?"
I stammered a bit because it was unexpected and said, "N-no, I just didn't expect-" and I could see her get REALLY mad.
"What's wrong? You're obviously pissed! Spit it out! Are you one of those TERFs?!" (trans-exclusionary radical feminist, basically a feminist who believes that transgender woman are just men and can never be a 'real' woman).
Obviously there was no salvaging the night at this point and said, "No, I'm not, your profile said you're cis, so I wasn't expecting-" and Claire screams at me that of course it says she's cis, she can't say she's trans for her own safety, that I don't understand what it's like being trans, that people have threatened to kill her, that she needed to know she could trust me before she said anything, that I was privileged because I can say I'm bi on a public dating profile and not risk someone wanting to kill me, etc. I tried to defend myself by saying that I didn't care about her being trans and that I was just surprised, and she accused me of lying, saying obviously I care a lot or I wouldn't have said anything, that I had been lying when I said I was excited to go down on her earlier that night, etc. After our fight, we're both upset, in tears, and she tells me to get dressed and get out.
The thing is, I know she's partially right: I'm not trans, I don't know what it's like to be trans, all the social issues that come with being trans etc. I also can't help but be upset that she never once bothered to tell me, even as we were walking to her apartment from the train station. I totally get not being up front about it with a stranger, but if we're going home together and you trust me enough to be alone with you in your apartment, why wouldn't you say it then? I felt like if she couldn't be up front with me about that, what else wasn't she up front with me about?
After the weekend, I log onto my dating app, and there was a message from Claire waiting for me. She said she's sorry, that she overreacted, should have said something, etc. and that she wanted a second date to make it up to me. The thing is, I wasn't interested anymore as I felt like I couldn't trust her. I declined, and she called me a transphobic piece of shit and blocked me on social media and we haven't spoken since.
Questions that have been rattling in my brain the past couple days: Was it wrong for me to feel hurt for her not telling me her trans status before we went home to have sex? Am I being ignorant? Was I in the wrong for turning down another date after she apologized? Should I have given her a second chance? AITA in this?
**TL;DR Went on a date with a woman who said she was cis on her dating profile. She's transgender and I didn't know until we were getting naked at her apartment. We had a fight over it, she apologized a couple days later and asked for a second date, but I didn't think I could trust her anymore and declined.**
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 40,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
I6fTE4nZnJviw7TWCc4ZQbljSdNZ3t9l
|
anu9gk
|
{
"description": "surrendering my old roommates cat",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for surrendering my old roommates cat?
|
Not technically my roommate, but my girlfriends old roommate found a kitten on the side of the road in July of 2018 and decided to adopt him.
Since then, my girlfriend and I have moved in together and she no longer lives with this particular roommate. Her old roommate is technically homeless (sleeping on a friends couch) with no job and no car. No big deal people get down on their luck all time.
However, when my gf and I moved in together, her old roommate asked her to take her cat until she got her shit together. My gf agreed thinking we wouldn’t have him for more than a few weeks. We moved in at the beginning of January and her old roommate has done nothing to get her shit together, and we’re getting sick of dealing with this animal we never signed up for.
Her cat isn’t friendly, isn’t fixed, and doesn’t have his shots. And he’s been scratching up all of our furniture and pooping on the carpet in our room.
My gf and I are both very empathetic towards her old roommate, but it’s gotten to the point where we feel taken advantage of. Her roommate has also admitted to have done nothing to get into a better situation.
Would I be the asshole if I took the initiative to surrender the cat to a shelter? I’m very conflicted.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 6,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
5AxFrcut93QOKKf8Ks8x6DHrmDxm8aOP
|
aprdyt
|
{
"description": "telling my boss that my coworker is leaving",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 11
}
|
AITA for telling my boss that my coworker is leaving?
|
I work in midsize Company with about 70 employees. I am working with my direct coworker seperatly from the others in our company and we are sharing the workload only between the two of us. No one else in the company is "capable" of doing our jobs, atleast not on the spot and without a few month of training.
Now to the real story: three weeks ago my coworker told me that he has a new job starting at 1st March, but he does not intend to tell our company till the last possible day (we have a 4 notice period) but that he will submit vacation for the last 3 Weeks of february before that, so that our boss approves his vacation and he does not have to deal with all the "handing over shit".
For me that wouldve meant, i have to do all our shit for the whole february, there would be no time for him to hand over his work stuff to some temporary staff. The next months till we have a replacement would not really be nice for myself.
He had no ear for my situation and there was no way to talk him out of his "plan", so right at the and of january i told my boss about the situation. After that my boss declined his vacation and forced him to documentade all(!) of his work stuff until the end of february.
For my coworker it was pretty obvious that i told our boss. I can understand that he thinks AITA. But right now even all our other coworkers also think i am in the wrong here and treating me like i am a "traitor".
What do you think about this? AITA?
tldr:
My coworker chose to leave our company and leave me with a shitload of workstuff. I told my boss about it. Now all of my other coworkers think i am a traitor because my (leaving) coworker did not get his vacation and will have a february full of documenting lots of stuff.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
4vLvycKbbT1fotLuEMWsnwRwwemNhYwj
|
aljxz5
|
{
"description": "forgetting things my girlfriend has told me and asking about them again",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for forgetting things my girlfriend has told me and asking about them again?
|
My girlfriend will tell me something (like "I can't go to the gym for a week") and then a few days later we'll be talking and I'll ask her if she's going to the gym that day. Instead of just being like, naw brah, she'll say something like "you're stressing me out, I already told you I won't be going to the gym for a week! You aren't trying hard enough."
&#x200B;
I don't think it's not that I'm not trying - as soon as she reminds me about what she said I remember her saying it - I just don't remember in the moment. Then we'll get in a spat over whether or not not-remembering something like that means I'm "not trying hard enough" and she'll say goodbye and hang up and she won't talk to me for a few hours.
&#x200B;
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
em6LnBTF2Ho9koSYZXGO5s2Xvp5NcPvV
|
b6xp4k
|
{
"description": "not talking to my parents because they are using me... but being ?! maybe I'm the bitch... tell me please",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA I not talking to my parents because they are using me... but are they?! Maybe I'm the bitch... tell me please!
|
I stopped talking to my mom 4 years ago and recently stopped talking to my dad. I stopped talking to my mom because she would lie about me. For example, my mom and my dad separated and my mom called me trying to get me to extort my dad for money (for her). When I refused, she threatened to call the cops on me for fraud that I did not commit, so I told her to "go ahead", hung up and haven't spoken to her since. She has then gone around telling family that she has no clue why I'm not speaking to her and that she did nothing wrong to deserve my desertion. The truth is my mom has been threatening me as a method to control me since I was a child. In fact, she used to threaten to 'off herself' as a means to control me and when I was 12 she actually attempted in front of me.
My dad has recently gotten back together with my mom and has started trying to manipulate me. He "bought" me a vehicle for $500 but I insured it and HE drove it (he couldn't insure a vehicle because he has too many fines). He got speeding and parking tickets with said vehicle (which was under my name) and did not pay for them. The vehicle broke down, my dad brought it back to my place where it stayed, broken down in my parking spot. My landlord told me to get rid of it if it's not working. I told my dad. Nothing. His fines went to collections and went on my credit report, ruining my credit score. I'm trying to save up to buy a house and keeping a good credit score is paramount. So I call an autowrecker, who pays me $500 to take the vehicle away, just enough to cover the fines. I pay the fines off.
Fast forward a few months and my dad shows up wanting the vehicle. I told him that I sold it to pay for the fines he got. He's angry but doesn't say anything and leaves. He and my mother then go and tell my entire family that I have sold his car out from under him and took the money.
Edit: I have stopped talking to them. My family thinks I am the asshole and is pressuring me to stop "being a bitch to the people that raised and loved you". Honestly... I don't feel like they love me. I feel like they are using and manipulating me. But perhaps I'm being selfish and narcissistic?
Also - my dad JUST messaged me again after months of not talking me - asking me to insure ANOTHER vehicle! I don't know what to do...
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 15,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 15,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
bSgI4mRl2683IYwpLicGBDoK9cPiBcQ3
|
at5w7e
|
{
"description": "making my ex Fiancee and her kids leave",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for making my ex Fiancee and her kids leave?
|
So for the past 1.5 years my fiancee and her kids (50% of the time) have lived with me, I have supported, supplied and paid all bills but lately I'm just getting called an asshole for it, literally. Finally after a week of fighting, she said "maybe you should start sleeping downstairs, until we find a place to move" to which I replied "leave by the end of the month". AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
n4CHpCJ4KxtGxLUmvxxMw0VlK1KYLzem
|
aivcsr
|
{
"description": "not wanting to identify as gay",
"pronormative_score": 53,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not wanting to identify as gay?
|
Hi everyone.
Before I start, let me just say that I am not trying to be homophobic/transphobic. I am incredibly new to this and it's very difficult for me to keep the hang of it. If i do make a mistake, please correct me. I want to learn. i don't know if my age has to do with anything but I am a sophomore in high school, I am 16.
So my current girlfriend came out to me as transgender the other day. She is now a boy and now my boyfriend. I am sorry if I use the wrong pronoun by mistake, I will try and read over and try and find if I make a mistake. Anyways we've been together for a little under a year now and I love him a lot. this is a lot for me to handle but I really support his transition and i am proud of him for being so brave to tell me. I love him literally with all my heart. if I could marry him right now I would, it doesn't matter that he is now a boy. But last night I actually had a weird thought: does this make me gay? because he is a boy and i am dating him.
So I brought this up with him today and he said yes I am gay. I was very confused because I have never liked guys before, and I still don't. I feel like this is a special case? Maybe it's not. I don't want to make him feel like he is any less of a boy just because he was born a girl, but I also don't really feel... gay. So he brought up the term bisexual, and I said no that isn't it either. I told him that I think I am straight, but I love him and he's an exception. He got very mad at me and wouldn't talk to me even after school. I've tried texting him but he won't respond, which is weird because almost every night we have really long text conversations.
Should I try and be gay for him? I don't think I could ever date a boy (other than him) and I am not sexually into guys like that. I am fine with gay people I just don't think I am one, or even bisexual. I really only have ever liked girls except for this one situation.
I don't want to leave him because I love him, but I don't want to identify as gay. He wants me to identify as gay, but I am straight, I think. I feel like he is an exception.
Am I being an asshole for not identifying as gay? Is it transphobic? I am sorry if it is.
&#x200B;
Thanks for reading, I appreciate it.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 47,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 53,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
HliZXSWaMWDUxGylhH0PQ1O04k8FTXyz
|
b8c08p
|
{
"description": "making another noise complaint about my upstairs neighbour",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I make another noise complaint about my upstairs neighbour?
|
So I live in an apartment building, I have neighbours above, below, and on two sides of me. The guy above me moved in a week or so ago and since then he has been on and off playing really loud music.
Like, I’m 20. I understand why you would want to play loud music but ffs this is an apartment building and if I can make out the words of your music from the floor below you I feel like that’s too loud.
The other day his music was so loud my boyfriend could hear it over his shower. I went upstairs and on my way up I could hear his music still in the hallway outside my apartment, in the concrete stairwell, and on the hallway outside his apartment. I had to knock a couple times before he even heard me. I told him his music was REALLY loud and he apologized and explained he had just gotten his internet since he moved in recently and was texting it out and said he would keep it down lower. I thanked him and returned to my apartment.
A few hours later the music starts up again, still incredibly loud. I called the building manager and made a noise complaint, explaining how I could even hear his music in the practically noise proof stairwell and they told me they would send security up to talk to him.
Now it’s two days later and there is loud music again, granted a little quieter than before but I can make out the words to the song still. I kind of feel like it might be a dick move to complain again but this is an apartment building where lots of business people work and a lot of us have to be up at 4 in the morning. Am I being an entitled bitch here or would I be justified in complaining again?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
eBovufLXknwGjgxGDzhc6XL9dpkr8lIS
|
b1b2i3
|
{
"description": "getting upset and leaving my gf's apartment for celebrating finishing most of my work",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for getting upset and leaving my gf's apartment for celebrating finishing most of my work
|
Hello,
This is my first time posting. Please don't get mad if I break rules that I do not know about.
A little bit of background:
My gf (29f) and I (34m) work for the same employer at the same location and we have similar work load. After work, I usually go over to her place before I head home. Another piece of information is that she is easily stressed; it can be caused by going on vacation, not finishing a book before the due date, or complaints at work.
Now the basic story:
I went to her place yesterday and I started finishing some work that we both have to complete independently, this is not a collaborative project. We just need to have it done by late next week. When I finished, I celebrated because I was glad that there is one less thing that I have to worry about for the weekend. I celebrated by singing a happy tone. However, she was in the same room and was bothered by it. She told me to stop but I did not because I was happy. After couple more seconds, she changed her tone and got mad at me by not speaking to me for the next hour. After an hour of that treatment, I just left her apartment because I feel I am not wanted there.
&#x200B;
AMTA for leaving?
&#x200B;
&#x200B;
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
42dfd6CPa9yZ2yp0jGmXDnqRtoqWWFwh
|
b01nyw
|
{
"description": "not wanting to hang out with my wife's friends because of the subject matter? NSFW",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not wanting to hang out with my wife's friends because of the subject matter? NSFW
|
I guess like everything a little backstory and context helps. I have been with my wife for 3 years now I love my wife, she is with out a doubt "the one".
She has a group of friends that she grew up with and went to middle and high school with and she still has remained good friends with a lot of them. I think they are a wonderful group of people and generally everytime we get together it's a great time. They are a very welcoming and hospitable group and I had no problem falling in on friendly terms with a lot of them. The majority are over/out for dinner monthly.
I have slowly started to notice that almost everytime we get together a subject (almost always jokingly brought up) is another one of our friends ( let's call him Jeff ) who has a, as some have referred to it " the biggest dick they have ever seen" "not big, like freakishly huge" "you have your regular virginity, then your Jeff virginity" type of endowment.
That being said it just seems like everyone in this group has some kinda fetish-worship about this guy and his hog, like I mentioned before, the jokes and stories they all share about different times they themselves have had sex with Jeff, or times they walked in on Jeff having sex with someone. I pointed this out to my wife after dinner Saturday about the cult like worship and her response was. " I mean it is freakishly huge *laughs*"
My problem with a lot of this is more complex than the way that everyone seems to obsessively talk about this guys hog. Some of it stems from the fact that my wife had a "FWB" relationship with him for a few years. ( 10 years ago, long before I ever met her) A lot of it I feel comes from the fact that everyone is comfortable OPENLY discussing this man's sex life.
Maybe this is where I start to sound prude or like a baby but I don't openly discuss the kinds of kink my wife and I are into. I feel like everyone just being so nonchalant about discussing the first time they saw Jeff naked or the first time they saw Jeff fucking some random chick at a party is just.... too much
The whole thing just feels weird to me, with all of the different factors adding up, sometimes it just makes me reluctant to even agree to go out to dinner because at the end of the night regardless of where we go or what we do at some point this subject is going to be brought up and yet again I'm going to be forced to either confront the idea that my wife had sex with this guy for years or ignore it.
I have tried to talk to my wife about it but at the end of the day, if the tables got turned I don't see any of it happening much less being so accepted. I would be mortified and embarrassed to sit across the table from an ex girlfriend as everyone else traded stories about having/seeing her having sex.
TL;DR
AITA for slowly over time wanting to exclude myself from group plans with my wife and her circle because of the constant inappropriate joking subject matter about her ex-bf/fwb's massive endowment
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 13,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 17,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
bTykLR7BxGaq8w1uBRvzGOMRZ7TQnxMO
|
az7ody
|
{
"description": "not feeling grief",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not feeling grief?
|
My grandmother died today she's been sick for months now so everyone knows it was coming soon. My sister called me today to tell me and she was crying and all that. But me I don't even feel sad. Honestly I kind of feel happy that she no longer has to deal with her illness. But I don't know. Listening to my sister cry and me not even feeling sad made me feel like a sociopath. And it's not even like we weren't close. I was basically raised by her in a sense. She had alzheimers and at one point she even thought I was her son. Point is I did love her. But I don't really care that much that she died. My way of rationalizing this is that I already knew she was gonna die so I don't know. I feel like it would be the same if anyone else in my family died. Anyone else experience anything like this?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
olXwLPyprwQ0hK2OCrTADZdKY2LQzj8s
|
b6hbyv
|
{
"description": "telling a guy on my pickup team to shut the fuck up",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for telling a guy on my pickup team to Shut the fuck up
|
So I’m in college and once a week I play pickup hoops for a couple hours in the gym with a bunch of guys from college, there’s always some familiar faces every week where we sort out teams and play 5 on 5.
Now there’s a guy there regularly (let’s call him Ben) that takes the games way to seriously. He acts like the teams coach, always gets way too into it, screams “Fuck” anytime he misses a shot ,is always visibly frustrated whenever we allow points and complains over every bad play then points fingers whenever a guy gets scored on.
I’ve never had any problems with Ben in the past even though he’d give me the occasion critique or two about marking my man on defence and I’m no star player by any means and He is definitely a better player than me but I play pickup for fun with some of my friends and whoever shows up that week.
While I do play my best to win some days, on other days I play more laid back in terms of effort and at the end of the day win or lose it’s not the NBA finals so who cares.
That brings us to today where we’re playing 5 on 5 and Ben’s on my team. We get off to a good start and win our first game that goes up to 11 and there isn’t a lot of noise from Ben so alls well and good but in the 2nd game the other team players better and then the jabs from Ben start to fly in. He asks me who I’m guarding in a condescending tone even tho I am marking someone and sure I’m not playing lockdown defence but I’m still trying, this goes on for a while with my man scoring only twice off putbacks when I was on him, what can I say the kid hustles for them.
Of course I get all the shit from Ben more so than any of the other players even though everyone including Ben gets scored on. At this point I’m getting irritated and during a play with me chasing my man around the court Ben bitches to me saying I’m not marking anyone again and this sets me off so before I can even think my mouth opens and I yell at him to Shut the fuck up and add that he’s fucking insufferable. After this he quiets down and we go back to playing and it gets slightly awkward but we finish up the game and he doesn’t say anything to me for the rest of the day but I did feel bad about raising my voice at him cause I’ve had history with yelling on the court. So tell me AITA for telling my teammate to shut the fuck up
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
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