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b2lecu
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{
"description": "wanting extra sauce from Panda Express",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting extra sauce from Panda Express?
|
It's a long and petty one, boys, so TL;DR at the bottom
​
My husband and I went to a Shen-Yun performance, and we stopped to get Panda Express on the way home. When the person at the window asks if we want any sauce. My husband asks me if I wanted sauce, and I said, "Yes, please! Lots of Mandarin sauce. I want 2 or 3." My husband tells the person at the window “Mandarin sauce”. I said, "Can you ask for extra sauce, please? Like 2 or 3". He just says, "We'll see how much they give us". So, we wait. When we got our food, I checked and said, "They only gave us one". He sits there, looks at me for 5 seconds, and starts driving off. I was a little astounded and asked why he didn't ask for more sauce, and he gets mad that I would be upset over sauce.
​
He said that he didn't know they'd only give me one, so I said that I told him they only gave us one. He said, "Well, you should have asked them for more sauce". I said that he was the one in the driver seat, so why didn't he ask? I didn't think I had to ask from the passenger seat, especially because he didn't say he wanted me to. Regardless, he drove off before I had the chance.
​
He has an outburst telling me that I always let tiny things ruin my day. If I don't get sauce or if I see dirty dishes left out on the counter for a few days, I just make him and everyone miserable "every goddamn time". He said I treat him like dirt, and that hurts because he just spent 4 hours going to a performance for me where he was just uncomfortable and had a splitting headache the entire time, but didn't complain. He said I'm not reinforcing positive behavior (going to a performance with me) by getting upset with him. He reminded me of all the times I asked him to get things for me and he did.
​
He apologized for his outburst and, and after we got home, he said he would go back to Panda Express to get more sauce. For context on the dishes comment, I recently had an argument with our roommate (his brother) for not doing any chores around the house, and my husband said he was sick of hearing about it from both me and him. He's said I was trying to reason with someone who was unreasonable, so I should stop trying and just wait until we move out.
​
TL;DR I asked for some extra sauce at Panda Express, my husband refuses to make an effort to just get some extra sauce, and when I ask him why, he yells at me for treating him like dirt after he's done so much for me.
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
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adrjgb
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{
"description": "considering giving my cat to my soon-to-be-ex-roommate",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for considering giving my cat to my soon-to-be-ex-roommate?
|
I have two cats. Three years ago my boyfriend rescued a black cat from a work shop that he used to work at. Boyfriend moved to a different city for work two years ago and the cat stayed with me. But I was working A LOT and the cat was left alone at home for 12 hours a day quite often, plus when I finally got home late I often didn’t have any energy left to give her attention. So, one and half years ago I decided to get a second cat to keep the first cat company. I was obsessed with a specific breed of cat at the time, so I researched and shopped around extensively, finally picked a second cat and paid $1500 for him.
Unfortunately, after the initial introduction period, it gradually became clear that the two cats don’t get along. My first cat is a really good cat; she doesn’t do anything that you don’t want her to do. But this second cat, while I also adore him dearly, is honestly a huge brat and a bully. He needs to be the center of the attention and would drive away the first cat any time he wants (food/water, any spot in the house, etc.) The first cat is a really shy girl who doesn’t fight back and would always just let him take it, whether it’s a toy, food, or a spot. I’ve seen countless times the first cat try to appease the second by grooming him but he never licks back... Because of all of the above, I try to compensate her and make sure she gets lot more attention and pets from me.
Less than a year ago my lease was up and I decided to move into a bigger place and shared it with a roommate. For the past nine months, I’ve been living with another female who I met from Roommates.com and get along great with. She absolutely ADORES the second cat. Honestly the second cat is so pretty that almost everyone who has seen him says he’s the most beautiful cat they’ve ever seen. My roommate has experienced the same thing as well since she invites her friends over from time to time. We both get so used to hearing people telling us “I’m not a cat person typically but I love this cat!”
Recently, the circumstances changed between my boyfriend and I, and we have decided that I’m going to move to his city to reunite with him in two months. Tonight, my roommate and I discussed some details of our move-out plan and rent stuff, and that’s when she told me that she has decided she’s going to get a cat just like my second cat. She told me she has grown so attached to him that she felt like she really wants one for herself.
That’s when I brought the idea up to her “Would you like to have him?” She seemed very excited and happy at the idea and told me she would love to. I told her I’ll get back to her on this.
Here is why I feel like it’s a good idea: 1. It’s been explained above that my two cats don’t get along.
2. He is a lot closer to my roommate than he is to me. The past nine months at our home it’s as if the first cat is mine and he is my roommate’s. He sleeps with her while the first cat sleeps with me; he plays with my roommate all the time. My roommate doesn’t intentionally try to only play with one cat, but the first cat is so shy that she never tried to compete with the second cat for attention. Even if we try to play with her, the second the other cat comes near she just backs out and lets him take over.
I LOVE both of my cats and I’m NOT trying to get rid of my second cat. It’s not like “oh I don’t want him anymore; let’s see who else wants him”. To me, this idea makes sense; I feel like both cats will probably be happier if we do this (especially the alternative is that the second cat will never see my roommate again).
My boyfriend said the decision is mine since technically the second cat is MY cat (i.e., I paid for him and picked him), but he obviously judges me for it and thinks that I’m an asshole or I don’t love the second cat because I’m even considering giving him to someone else.
Am I the asshole for even considering parting with one of my cats?
TLDR: My two cats don’t get along. My roommate is very attached to my second cat and the said cat also loves her more than he does me (he follows her around the house, sleeps with her at night, and meows at her door for her attention all the time). I’m moving away and thinking about giving my second cat to my roommate. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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ao622a
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{
"description": "not wanting to remain friends with my abusive ex boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to remain friends with my abusive ex boyfriend?
|
So I dated this guy for 4 years and a half, long distance relationship, seeing each other 2 times a year and that was the only the only thing that made me going. I don't really know how we got that far because I was just a kid and he wanted me to do everything he wanted: replying instantly, talking to him and 2 or 3 female colleagues, not going out etc. And we fought a lot.
Anyway, when I went to college he became pretty obsessed, making jelly scenes out of everything and stuff. Ended it when I realized I don't have to put up with his shit anymore and didn't really have time for that due to lot of work school related.
Broke up, blocked him cause he started calling when he knew I hated that, made new friends, got a new boyfriend (let's call him D), all good. When he found out about D he started messaging him saying what an awful person I am for not wanting to be with him anymore, how I ruined his life, how he wanted to marry me, how we had a perfect relationship and because of him I ended it (not true, met D after we broke up). After some time of calling me from other numbers to just ask "how can I do that to him", he stopped looking for me.
It's been 3 years since then, he still managed to find me on steam, tumblr and stuff but didn't talk to him that much. Last summer tho he wanted to meed and I said ok because I wanted to take all that hate out of me and just forgive him already. Turns out we had a really great time and promise we would still talk after he goes back home. Thing is he managed to get me in the same spot where he tried to manipulate me into doing what he wanted, despite the fact that I was going to move to another town, living in the same house with my current bf.
Now: abusive ex bf moved where my bf and I live, managed to get on my nerves and block him again (even if he did block me in the first place and then unblock me), now he wants to hang out, invites me and my bf to his birthday party, tries to be friends, what?
AITA for not wanting to go to his birthday party or meet him at all?
|
HISTORICAL
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b4ihws
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{
"description": "putting the pizza on the oven rack",
"pronormative_score": 22,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for putting the pizza on the oven rack?
|
Throwaway. I am a 32F, he is a 34M. We do not live together, but have been dating three years. I am aware that this is likely “not about the pizza”.
On Black Friday last year, my boyfriend bought all new appliances for his kitchen.
The first time we made a frozen pizza, back in December, I followed the box directions and put the pizza directly on the rack. This resulted in cheese melting off the pizza and falling onto the bottom of the oven. When he went to get the pizza once the timer went off, and found the melted cheese, he flipped out on me and we got into a huge fight. From then on, i put the pizza on a cookie sheet/pizza stone as he directed.
Last week, we tried a new kind of pizza whose directions on the box say to place directly on the rack. I used the pizza stone but the result was soggy pizza. He complained all through eating it that it was soggy and did not like it because it was soggy and next time we should put it on the rack. I apologized.
This weekend, I bought same pizza and when I put it in the oven I remembered that it was soggy last time so I put it on the rack. When BF went to get the pizza after the timer was up, you guessed it, he found cheese had melted and fallen onto the bottom of the oven - it was burnt and black. He flipped out on me, going on about how I’ve ruined his new oven. I try to explain that I’ll clean it up, he asked for that pizza to not be soggy again and I was just following directions on the box too. His retort is that a) I should know that he didn’t mean that and to follow the ‘higher’ rule of NOTHING GOES DIRECTLY ON THE RACK, and b) I was disrespecting his property by “permanently staining his oven” with burnt, melted cheese. I felt like a stupid child. I told him he was overreacting over burnt cheese and that I would clean it out with soap/water once oven cooled off.. (but can we please eat dinner while it’s hot). We go back and forth while I am scrubbing away the burnt cheese. Once clean, he says he thought it was permanent and didn’t think the cheese would ever come off.. his anger is justified because it’s his property. I told him he’s being a jerk over melted cheese and that I had scrubbed it clean. His anger is justified, sure, he can be angry. But I did not like the way he was treating me. I told him this. His reply was that “if you think that was yelling.. you have no idea. I can show you what yelling is”. Which to me is concerning. If he reacts that way over melted cheese, I am concerned how he will react to what I consider a “real problem” (which I realize downplays something that is a real problem to him, but I still don’t think melted cheese deserved the attention it got. He could have said “hey- I thought we talked about putting things on the rack. Can you clean it up when it’s cooled off? And I’d prefer if we didn’t put food directly on the rack going forward). I eventually just left and went home over the pizza fight. AITA for putting the pizza directly on the rack?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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KF0ZtDzUxq3lVsBHz8lcnf9Hpr1xVOYt
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anoiu9
|
{
"description": "choosing to continue to not have a relationship with my father",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA If I chose to continue to not have a relationship with my father?
|
Hey guys, so as the title suggests, my father and I do not have a relationship at this point. I’ll give you some background. This is going to be a long one so sorry in advance. I’ll try to be as to-the-point as possible. TLDR at the bottom.
My mom and my bio dad were never married or in a relationship. My twin and I are the product of a one night stand, and when my mom told him that she was pregnant, she told him that he could choose not to be in our lives and that was his prerogative, but if he was going to be around that he should put in 100% effort into being a father and not to half-ass it. He told her that he would be around and pay child support and whatnot, but that was really only half true on both counts.
My father didn’t really start being in our lives until we were about 3 or 4 years old, and even then he wasn’t around much. We would only see him a few times a month and he would only act like a dad when it was convenient for him. This was basically how our relationship was until about 6th grade. But I loved him nonetheless. He was my dad and I was a kid. I didn’t know any better.
So 6th grade comes along and we had just moved back to our hometown after a year-long stint in Mississippi, and this move had sparked a pretty vicious custody battle over my sister and I. My dad pulled out all of the stops: he tried to have someone testify that my mom was beating us and that we lived in filth (which was easily disproved by a visit to our house and a visit to the child psychologist for my sister and I) and basically tried to take us away from our mom permanently. He tried on several occasions to turn my sister and I against her by telling us how horrible she and my stepdad was and how we’d be much better off with him. He also on one occasion gave us (at age 11 or 12) an ultimatum: we had to choose between him or my mom and if we chose our mom he was going to give up all custody/visitation and have our stepfather adopt us to be our only father.
Obviously, my mom won the custody battle and had sole legal/physical custody over my sister and I, but my dad would get visitation with whatever him and my mom could agree upon. Basically my mom told him that he didn’t even have to talk to her about visitation and that he could just talk directly to us about it. Even gave him our phone numbers to call us so that she wouldn’t be apart of it (my dad HATED my mom).
He agreed, took the phone numbers... and neither my sister or I heard from him again until we were 16 years old. No phone calls, no texts, no birthday cards, just absolute radio silence for 4-5 years. At that point, him and my stepmom had a kid (my litter brother) who was around 2-3 years old who I just fucking adored... and I didn’t get to see him grow up. And a few years after that they had another son who I didn’t get to meet until he was also around 2-3.
When my sister and I were 16, he finally reached out again to try and reconnect but tried to lie to our faces about the reasons why he wasn’t there for the past 4 or 5 years. He swore up and down that the court had settled on him not having any contact with us until we were 18 years old. Which is obviously an absolute lie. What reason would the courts have to suspend contact if he wasn’t abusing/neglecting us?? My mom ended up showing me the actual custody order from the courts to prove it was a lie.
Fast forward a couple more years - my grandpa (his father) dies of cancer. At the funeral, no one bothered to invite my sister and I to sit with the family (even though we’d been very close to our grandpa) and my father did not make a single attempt to come and talk to us. Not during the wake, not during the burial or afterwards. I had to come up to him and my stepmom a few times throughout and tried to talk. But it obviously didn’t pan out. He then had the GALL to tell everyone on his side of the family that WE had turned our backs on HIM. I was infuriated and heartbroken. This basically ruined mine and my sisters relationship with our grandma. She wouldn’t hear our side of things and demanded an apology from us even though we hadn’t done anything wrong. She told us she wouldn’t have any contact or attempt to see us until we apologized and made up with her son.
After all of this, my sister and I accepted the fact that we would never have a relationship with our father, and if that meant that my grandma was going to lose us too then so be it. He had put us through too much heartbreak and pain and we just wanted to be done with it. And so we were.
A couple years after that my sister and I at one point did reach out to our stepmom to try and reconcile a relationship with our brothers to learn that our sperm donor had cheated on her and left her for another woman. So we explained fully our side of things and she apparently never knew that the no-contact order was a lie. She apologized for everything and told us that she felt terrible knowing what she does now and is now putting real effort into building back a relationship with her and our brothers and it’s going very, very well.
Now, we come to today. My father decided today that he wanted to reach out over Facebook to try and rebuild our relationship now that he’s “finally happy after 40+ years” with his new boo thang or whatever. It has been 10+ years since all of this began. My sister and I are 22 years old. That is half of our life that he could have been there and chose not to be AND actively hurt us during a very painful part of our lives. I am at a loss for words as to how I’m feeling. My sister and I both suffer from depression and had issues with self harm/suicidal ideation all sourced from our father abandoning us at a very rough age. Our relationship with our grandmother is still suffering because of what he did at the funeral and he still refuses to take responsibility for any of it.
His message on Facebook did seem like he genuinely wanted to reconnect and try to rebuild whatever we used to have. But the damage is already done.
So my question is, WIBTA if I continued to not have a relationship with my father even if he does genuinely seem to want it now? It would save my relationship with my grandmother if we chose to give him a chance, but at this point, we’re trying to figure out if it’s really worth it. My sister and I are both at a loss of what to do. But right now we’re leaning towards continuing on with our lives. We’ve already accepted that he wasn’t there for us and will most likely continue not to be. We weren’t expecting anything like this, pretty much ever.
TLDR; my father abandoned my sister and I when we were 11 or 12, lied to us about the reasons why, ruined our relationship with our grandmother at our grandfathers funeral, and now wants to “reconnect” after 10+ years of literally nothing. Are my sister and I the assholes if we choose not have anything to do with him anymore?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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RIGHT
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|
a1qdw1
|
{
"description": "wanting to get married where is best for us",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to get married where is best for us
|
I(m32) have been living and working with my fiancée (f31) in Thailand for the last 5 years, we are renewing our work contracts and committing to another 15 months in the country. We have been engaged for 10 months and together for 7 years and getting married within the next 15 months is a done deal for us. With work and finance restraints it’s very difficult for us to plan and pay for our wedding back home in Europe, as from my side of the family we have no financial support. The problem now arising is that my sister who has a fear of flying flat out refuses to consider or make an attempt to travel to Thailand if we were to get married there. My family are pretty much telling me that I am being selfish and should consider my sisters feelings and that by not doing so I am turning my back on them. They are asking me to wait till our work contract is over and we move back or get married where everyone(my sister) can travel to without complications.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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b5l8bo
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{
"description": "being angry that my friend continuously bails on me",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being angry that my friend continuously bails on me?
|
So throwaway (obviously).
My friend and I have been, well, friends for about 8 years now. Recently he got a new SO. This SO now takes up ALL of his time outside of work. I am not exaggerating when I say this. All day every day when he is not at work, he is with her. We make plans: "Sorry dude I forgot" if he even bothers to say anything at all. There has only been one time in the last month he has actually committed to a plan [and I had to remind him of it, he made plans with her(this is important)] was when I needed his input for a research paper. He continued to rush me through it, trying to find ways to hurry me along so he could go do his plans with her even though I planned this a week ahead of time and was actually looking forward to it. He then actually, and I am still mindblown, asked me why he even needed to be here and why I needed him. I chose him because he was my best friend and I wanted to hang out with him while doing a project. Not to mention I needed him for the project because his knowledge on the subject I chose far outweighed mine. So then he says he wants to focus on the gym and less on her. Cool. Fast forward to today and he acts like he wants to hang out all day, asking what I am up to and such. I was busy at this point so I told him so. I then offered, later, to go to the gym. Nope, he is with her again. Ok Reddit, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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NOBODY
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RIGHT
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pemBDV16XWo3pXZWET82Ozmp1t363nya
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afl5g8
|
{
"description": "not letting my bro use my laptop for \"personal\" use",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not letting my bro use my laptop for "personal" use
|
My bro asked me if he can use my laptop. I said sure for what (usually it's watching some tutorial or something like that).
He:"It's something quick just wanna download something."
I:"what do you wanna download?"
He:"I just wanna put my work environment from my work laptop on your computer."
I:"Sorry you can't do that on my computer. You have your own laptop for that. You can use it for personal use."
He:" This is personal use I will study this on it."
I knowing if I allow this that this won't be my laptop anymore and that he will be regularly and will be act like it's his laptop because it has work data.
"Yeah I don't have enough memory on my laptop for that. And again for that you have your own laptop. Personal use only."
Now he acts like IATA.
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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b0u8cq
|
{
"description": "being an hour late to dinner",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 12
}
|
AITA for being an hour late to dinner?
|
My boyfriend made me dinner tonight but I was an hour late because I was at work and having a good time and didn't want to leave. Also there wasn't a break moment where I could've got away. Now he won't talk to me. I did send him a message when I was half an hour late to say I'd be home in another 30 min.
Do most people accept that sometimes people are late and they still welcome their partner home? Or am I the asshole for being late?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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b26onw
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{
"description": "telling everyone my classmate peed her pants",
"pronormative_score": 1,
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}
|
AITA for telling everyone my classmate peed her pants?
|
This was 13 years ago, I was 5 years old. Let's call the girl in this story Skylar.
One day, Skylar was annoying me at lunch, while our teacher happened to be talking to the class. She was pinching me, taking my food, and kicking me under the lunch-table. I kept quietly telling her to knock it off, but she was relentless. I ended up getting really angry, and raising my voice at her. The teacher heard this and then called me out in a room filled with 250-300 kids or so. I was given a "green-light" warning by said teacher for interrupting her.
I don't think this happens in many schools, but our kindergarten class had a traffic-light system for punishments. It looked something like [this.](https://i.pinimg.com/236x/e9/71/7a/e9717a4b06824ef966496a92f0d286ac--classroom-behavior-in-the-classroom.jpg)
Everyone had little magnetic paper cars that started at the bottom of the whiteboard. If you misbehave once, you are given a warning and you have to move your car to the green-light. If you misbehave twice, you have to move your car to the yellow light and take a time out. You get the idea. I was a pretty good noodle, so it urked me that I got a warning, but whatever.
Then comes recess time. I was hanging out in the gym when Skylar comes up asks me to play with her. I followed her and she lead me into a small nook with a bunch of other kids under the bleachers. I thought it was kinda sketchy, so I was hesitant. I asked Skylar, "Did you ask a teacher if we can be here?" Skylar replied that yes, we won't get in trouble. So like 6 of us kids are sitting under the bleachers just chilling. Then all of a sudden, the same teacher that called me out earlier comes out of nowhere, and storms over to us. She begins to yell at us, telling us how dangerous it is to hide under the bleachers where an adult can't see us. She looked us all over and gave everyone involved a green-light warning, but then she noticed me. She remembers me from earlier and says I will actually be receiving a "yellow-light" warning.
I was so pissed. Skylar got me in trouble, **twice.** I sulked back to class, and shamefully put my little car by the yellow traffic light. My primary teacher, not knowing about the situation, asked if something was wrong. I shook my head and went outside into the hallway. I sat in "my place" while my classmates watched Thomas the Train. I was mortified. I had to explain to my friends and my family what had happened.
About a week later, my chance for revenge came. I had seen Skylar run to the teacher, whisper something in her ear, and go into the bathroom with a pair of fresh pants. She came out wearing the new pair. I knew what had happened. Skylar had pissed herself. I immediately began going around the room, telling everyone what had happened. The rumor had spread like wild-fire, everyone knew. And Skylar went home with tears in her eyes, forever known as "pee-pee pants."
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
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"INFO": 0
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
zZfa09PMzvv2Pdh7XGRAIk4by44ScvUd
|
azf5qe
|
{
"description": "telling my friends they are not vegetarians because they eat meat at least once in a week",
"pronormative_score": 24,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for telling my friends they are not vegetarians because they eat meat at least once in a week?
|
Here is a little bit of backstory. My friends and I went out to get some food yesterday and two of them always claim to be vegetarian. Thing is that they ate meat this day so I asked them why they call themselves vegetarian if they eat meat. They told me that they only eat it once a week and not more so it's still vegetarian and I shouldn't ask tzem because it's none of my buisness. I didn't say anything after that because they kinda looked pissed and didn't talk to me much after that.
So am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 17,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 7,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 24,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
Gei8XJd9otIxZbAuR8wEVlmkNexmEWAk
|
ag7mm0
|
{
"description": "making out with my best friend's crush",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 13
}
|
AITA for making out with my best friend's crush?
|
My best friend (let's call her R) has been in love with her childhood friend for seven years. He (let's call him N) knows about this because she has told him so multiple times over the years. He has never reciprocated her feelings for him and has made this very clear but she still can't let go of him despite multiple attempts to. I met him for the first time last year at one of R's parties and tried to play wing woman for R but N was very against it. He then proceeded to hit on me which I was very taken aback by. I told him that while I did find him attractive I wouldn't want to do that to my best friend. He tried to convince me there was nothing wrong with us getting together and that R had no control over who he got to be with because ultimately they were just friends but I persisted and nothing happened that night.
We met at a few more of R's parties and the outcomes were similar, until last night at her birthday. Now R had told me that she had finally let go of N a few months ago and that she was also very into one of the guys at her gym. I was glad that she'd gotten past her unhealthy love for N and was finally moving on. Last night, I met N again and we talked quite a bit. I had no intention of doing anything but we ended up leaving the party for a bit with some friends who then left us alone eventually. After some more talking we found ourselves more and more attracted to each other and we ended up leaving together which R noticed. I went over to his place and we made out quite a bit. Nothing else happened but I started feeling tremendously guilty. No one had seen us do anything 'inappropriate', thankfully but I felt like I had betrayed R's trust.
I met R today and she brought up us leaving together and I said it just happened to be that we wanted to leave at the same time. I know she bought it because this is the first time I've lied to her. She then proceeded to tell me that she felt very jealous when she saw us together (he told her last year that he was into me) and that if anything had happened, she would cut all ties with me. I felt terrible that she would end our two year friendship over this and was glad I didn't say a word to her. R is usually a very smart and rational person but N somehow makes her go crazy. She also told me that she would always have a soft spot for him and that she envied that he gave me attention and not her. I feel like I have backstabbed her and betrayed her trust. I don't know if I'm in the wrong but I wouldn't want to lose her as a friend as she is nothing but amazing. So, am I the asshole here?
​
TL;DR my best friend's unrequited crush and I made out and though she doesn't know this she said if anything does happen between us, she'll end our friendship.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 13
}
|
WRONG
|
LGVU3sAu10Ba6vySz5Zm6UxE7FSfuNIs
|
b2fyif
|
{
"description": "not sharing my table",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for not sharing my table?
|
Busy airport bar and I’m waiting next to a table of people about to leave
Another lady walks up and waits and I politely state that I’m waiting for this table
“How many of you are there”
“2”
“Can we share?”
“I’d really rather not sorry”
“But it’s a table for 4”
“I know that but there’s no other tables and I’ve been waiting for this one”
“Why won’t you share”
It went on for a while and she eventually found another table to sit at
AITA??
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 8
}
|
WRONG
|
G9fUDzoHSuLqRq3nxlEKVZX360ce0YW8
|
b110zs
|
{
"description": "not commiting myself to a job",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not commiting myself to a job?
|
Hi Reddit, lurker here. Just wanted others opinion on this thing. I have had my troubles in life, and got disability pension four years ago based on mental illness. The illness is cured, in less than a year I will be free from medicines. My pension is permanent though, or at least 40 years. I struggled alot when I was younger, for 18 years I were a hard drugs addict, mostly meth, but anything I could get basically. I lived on the street most of the time with no possessions as my own. Now everything is sorted out, I have everything I need, 4 years clean. Thing is some people around me suggest I look into getting a job and I dont really know what to tell them. The pension is enough for me to live comfortably. I really feel the years as a drug addict took their toll, I dont learn as fast or remember as easily as before, and am somewhat satisfied just keeping my head above water, free from drugs, cleaning my apartment and doing chores that needs to be done. I do have a lot of spare time. I think about this a lot, and my thoughts go to whether I should feel an obligation to society to work, do my part as a citizen etc. There are also minor setbacks, like I havent got teeth anymore, so working with people feels awkward, and Ive gained some weight so physical labour is hard. But what do you guys think?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
uUVk6uuZERsF8JVU4WiC73jn5MPr87Ac
|
b67ghb
|
{
"description": "not attending the entirety of my son's 1st birthday",
"pronormative_score": 24,
"contranormative_score": 42
}
|
WIBTA if I don’t attend the entirety of my son’s 1st birthday?
|
My son is turning one. My wife has been planning a large party for family and friends. I had requested the day off at the beginning of the month, but due to recent staff shortages my manager has asked me to come in during the day. I’d like to move up in the company and feel like this is an opportunity to show that he can rely on me. I asked my wife if she could push the party for a little later and I could come a little late, but still within enough time to see people. She’s unwilling. She doesn’t care at all about the opportunity to make a good impression on my boss. Frankly I feel like this party is for her rather than my son. Shown only more so by the fact that the overwhelming majority of the people invited are her side of the family and her girlfriends. If it was truly for my son, who will have no memories of this event, then surely the other side of his family would have been given more thought. We’ve both dug our heels in and both seem to think we’re in the right here.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 41,
"OTHER": 19,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 24,
"WRONG": 42
}
|
WRONG
|
3dxgJs6Uwl3jsfby339O2iu8Ya7qaEjP
|
ay02gq
|
{
"description": "breaking up with my girlfriend as soon as we got back from vacation",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I broke up with my girlfriend as soon as we got back from vacation?
|
we've been dating for about 3 years, we're grad students, and we're both in our low to mid 20s.
my gf is one of those people who reacts angrily, or, gets an angry tone...and that's something that doesn't sit well with me because I'm the exact opposite...it takes a lot to get me mad and I don't stress easily... *unless* someone is mad at me...then, I tend to shut down
anyway, recently I had felt like it was time to end the relationship because I've stopped enjoying myself and I often end up stressed out when I don't think I should be stressed. We had already planned a week long vacation and paid for it and made various reservations...so I thought that I needed to stick out until the vacation ended...and then I thought that maybe this vacation will change things and I'd find out that the stress comes from school and that maybe this relationship could be saved
I was wrong, haha. We're on the vacation now for spring break and she has snapped at me a bunch of times, she's constantly stressed out...which constantly stresses me out when she takes out on me..and I'm still sure that I'm not enjoying myself in the relationship..and I know I can't go on like this and be happy
So I've been trying to figure out the appropriate time to break it off..but I'm bad at this stuff and don't know when or how. I think that the best time would be as soon as we got back from the vacation this weekend. I hate to be like "glad we're back from vacation, ok now bye"... but i feel like that's better than settling back into things unhappily.
As far as the vacation goes, it was just a beach vacation a few hours away. She had a deal and paid for the resort, and I agreed to pay for most expenses we incurred down here. Overall I'd say I'll end up spending 60-70% of the total money spent.. Just in case that matters
Let me know if I can provide any details that I forgot here
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
zeUswEUITNmb7o87cwNrwLPCJCj3vly6
|
aj6clw
|
{
"description": "not wanting to replace the broom",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to replace the broom?
|
\>6 months ago I lived with my two roommates. I bent the broom while I was there but it was still usable.
Apparently now it has broke since I moved out, and they want me to replace it.
Now I feel like I probably should since it was me who bent it before but I dont want to.
Because I've recently just gift them both a holiday, I feel like they're being petty over something so cheap. I've also helped them a lot finanially in the past, and idk I'm just annoyed they would ask money for it when I've spent a lot on them so recently. But I know I am probably the asshole, but asking anyway.
tldr: ex flatmates want me to replace a broom I damaged
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
aIMZ2PS2ptVcV30fZyBoqgjlK3c0Lvo4
|
afvk73
|
{
"description": "not wanting to pick up my sick sister with my dad",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to pick up my sick sister with my dad?
|
My sister got food poisoning some days ago and it seemed to disappear for a few days until today. She was at the mall with her friend and I was with my dad at a supermarket eating dinner. She called my dad about her feeling sick again and we rushed out to get home to a taxi that was already called by my mom after my dad told her about my sister.
My dad was passive at first asking if I want to go with him. I told him I’d rather stay home as it was more convenient to us both. As we finished eating and got to his car he was saying something along the lines of, “You can come with me, two heads are better than one,” or “you’ll come with me yeah? To help your sister.” I was getting a bit uncomfortable at this point cause I really don’t like when someone just assumes I agree to go somewhere with them passive-aggressively, especially when it’s my dad.
I felt cornered and pressured so I just agreed to go even though I have Algebra homework due tomorrow as well as a Forms of literature assignment.
I don’t want to assume anything, but my dad asked my sister if she took the medicine the doctor gave her regularly and I’m not sure if she said yes or no. So that factor is still up in the air.
So reddit, am I the asshole?
TL;DR sister got pretty sick at the mall so dad assumes I will be going with him when I want to stay home and finish my school work
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
Rvzfc0nxZCiSjAsEYbkUgYTbtY56eh0V
|
ah0fxt
|
{
"description": "telling my friend she's pissing me off for saying she's sober",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for telling my friend she’s pissing me off for saying she’s sober
|
Me and a good friend of mine have been having issues with drugs for a while. Both of us indulge a lot less but we aren’t clean. For the past year she’s been telling how happy she is to be “clean and sober” aside from weed, and honestly it’s bullshit. Sobriety needs to be maintained and we both aren’t there yet.
One day she posts on instagram a video of doing some lean, and that just upset me. Not that she was doing drugs, just that she repeatedly lied to me (and there’s the possibility she was lying to herself as well). I told her pretty meanly that she needs to cut that “sobreity” talk out because her lying is pissing me off. Now, of course we aren’t getting her side of the story; I’ll admit I said it pretty meanly. She tells me she isn’t sure if she wants to associate with me if I’m so negative, that she can do whatever she wants, and that she’s happy for the first time in her life and she doesn’t want me ruining that. I reiterated that it wasn’t the drug use that bothered me, it was the lying.
She didn’t respond to texts for like a week. I asked her if we were still cool and she said we were but I need to “cut that shit out”. I apologized for upsetting her but not the remark and tried to explain how what she was saying upset me and that I was just upset because I cared. She doubled down on it, said she didn’t want to associate with me, blocked me briefly.
I kind of just gave up, seeing she wasn’t gonna see my side. Just told her that I guess negativity wasn’t gonna help anything and that I was glad she was doing better. In this situation, I don’t think anything I say will change her mind.
Did I do the right thing here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
bOGkN3nJsjVIt1ygyxSGMEOYMNNzCgrX
|
acna98
|
{
"description": "cutting my best friend out of my life twice",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for cutting my best friend out of my life twice?
|
Long post warning. Extremely abridged TL;DR at the bottom. This story basically defined the year 2018 in my life so I feel like it’s fitting to post about it now, just to get it off my chest.
I [m] started college last year. I became friends with a girl who lived in my dorm building, and found out I had a class with her. She had a friend Jenna in the same class. So as the semester went on I sat next to both of them and started talking to Jenna. Eventually my original friend started skipping class a lot so it was just me and Jenna. At this point we were basically just in-class friends: that person you ask for notes you missed and review homework together. I was single (never had a gf) and she had a bf, but I wasn’t really interested in dating anyone at that point anyway so we just had a casual friendship. The semester ended and winter break came. She texted me once on Christmas but that was it, I didn’t think about her much over break.
Then the spring semester started, and we didn’t have any classes together (we had planned on taking one together but when my enrollment date came it was already full). Jenna also had decided to change majors (we were both the same major before she switched), so I didn’t really see her at all for the first half of the semester. We texted a few times throughout those weeks, just memes and jokes basically. But then in early March she started texting me more frequently. We talked a lot more each day, and met up sometimes to study or get lunch. I met her friends, and hung out with all of them together. By mid April we were hanging out every single day, and it turned into a night-time thing. She loves Game of Thrones so we would watch it together, mostly in her suite or sometimes my building’s lounge. I put my arm around her one night and from then on we were cuddling every night for hours, watching tv and just talking about everything. This was going on from mid April to mid May, which was the end of the semester.
So basically over that four week period, there were two, maybe three nights that we didn’t hang out. We also still studied together during the day and went to a few on-campus events together. Early May I started to have feelings for Jenna as more than just a friend. We started to talk about more personal stuff each night, and I found out that she had broken up with her boyfriend in February. But one night in May, we were cuddling like usual watching thrones. The episode ended and we just kind of sat there together silently for a few minutes, her head on my shoulder and my arms around her waist. But then she sat up suddenly and leaned away to turn and face me, and she said “anon, I really like what we have right now and want to keep going like this. But I need you to know that I’m not really interested in dating anyone right now.” I don’t know what made her say that, because I hadn’t said anything about my feelings for her before that. I replied “that’s ok and I’m glad you told me, but honestly I am a bit disappointed.” She just nodded like she already knew I was going to say that. Now comes my first huge mistake: in my head I thought “this is actually ok because summer starts next week and I won’t be with her for it anyway (she lives near our school, I live about 8 hours away by car). So over the summer maybe she’ll change her mind.” Internally, I had already begun to convince myself that she would change her mind, which obviously was not necessarily true.
We said our goodbyes a few days later and then it was summer. My summer can be split into two distinct halves. The first half: I had gotten a job at an extremely remote place (long story that isn’t super relevant) so I spent one week with my family and high-school friends at home and then shipped out to the middle of nowhere. I got sick within a week of arriving and quickly discovered that I did not enjoy the job. I make friends pretty slowly and I felt like an outsider from my coworkers, so all in all life was shit at the moment. But we did have some internet access and cell service, so I was able to text Jenna and my high-school friends and my family. They all really kept me going, and basically I became more emotionally dependent on my friends and family. Which is definitely a good thing overall, but in the case of Jenna not so much, due to my unfounded hope about her changing her mind. Sometimes at night I was able to use my laptop for a while, so I would play videogames with my high-school friends or skype with Jenna. We skyped about once a week, for hours on end. I was late to work a few times because I stayed up too late talking to her. Finally at the beginning of July I had enough with the job, so I quit and my dad drove out to pick me up, which begins the second half of my summer.
One of my high-school friends got me a job at the ice cream shop he worked at, so I started there a few days after arriving home. I was still texting Jenna every day, and now that I was home we skyped even more, at least eight hours a week. Our talks became more personal. One night we we got on the topic of sex and she revealed that she had been with two guys: her ex and another guy, David. David was her first kiss, before her ex. She told me that when she broke up with her ex, she called David to hook up with him. So that was sometime in February. And then she hooked up with him two other times after that, the most recent of which was in June. So I assume the middle time occurred somewhere in that period of mid April to mid May, which means she probably hooked up with him on one of those two or three nights that she wasn’t cuddled up with me watching tv. I had no idea what to think or say to her. I was just crushed. But in my immense stupidity I thought to myself “she’s just lonely over the summer after breaking up with her ex; it’s just one guy and she’s not hooking up with him very frequently.” And so I convinced myself that things were all ok. As the summer dragged on I became more and more fixated on her, even as she drifted further away. I mean, we were still super close and texted and skyped just as much, but she slowly revealed to me other stuff she was doing. She got Tinder because “my [her] friends said it was fun,” and started telling me about the dudes she was talking to on there. She said she wanted “validation” whatever that means. One guy said some cheesy pickup line about her being cute and she texted me a screenshot with her caption of “VALIDATION VALIDATION VALIDATION”. It got to the point where I said to her “do you mind not talking about Tinder? Because when we’re having a conversation I’d rather not hear you talk about all the other guys you’re talking to.” She went to music festivals and got drunk in bars with her girl friends. Meanwhile our conversations were still flirty and even sexual sometimes. Making jokes about what she likes to do in bed, and one night she went to a party and texted me “I love how my boobs look in this pic and I want to know what you think”. So my brain is working overtime all through August trying to figure out what the hell she wants. But I didn’t want to have that “so what are we?” conversation over skype, so I was just painfully biding my time until school started again.
Finally the fall semester began. I saw Jenna on move-in day and gave her a big hug and we went up to her room. We cuddled and talked for a while like normal until we came to the big question. She told me that she still wasn’t interested in dating anyone at the moment, not just me. She said “I just want to do whatever I want with whoever I want right now.” I was crushed but mostly have myself to blame for getting my hopes up. As the semester dragged on she went to lots of parties with her friends and kept using Tinder. I’m not the party type so I didn’t go to any with them, but still hung out a lot during the day and watched movies with Jenna sometimes, but it just hurt knowing what she was doing with other guys. We also had a lot more talks about our relationship. I made it clear that I was into her and wanted to date, but she still wasn’t ready. At one point I told her that I started to have feelings for her in May, and she admitted that she also developed a crush on me at the same time. But she didn’t want to do anything about it. I’m still super confused about that. She also told me stuff like “I don’t want to do anything [sexual] with you because I don’t want to feel like I’m cheating on you when I hook up with other guys” and “I don’t think we can be friends with benefits because it would be weird for our friendship”. We were still cuddling during these talks and while watching movies. One night in September we had one of those talks and at the end, she kissed me on the cheek and said she’s sorry. I didn’t know what to do anymore. Then one night in early October, we were watching tv and she laid down on her side on her bed. I asked “can I lay down with you?” and she said “yeah but I don’t really feel like cuddling tonight if that’s ok.” So instead of spooning, I laid down on my back staring at the ceiling while she laid with her back to me. After about half an hour of this I concluded that this more-than-friendship wasn’t healthy for either of us; at least not for me. I sat up and said “Jenna I don’t think I can do this anymore.” We had a relatively short talk and decided that we should take a break from each other. No texting, no hang outs, nothing. I kissed her on the cheek for the first and last time, and I could feel her head turn away like she had anticipated me kissing her on the lips and was avoiding it.
I cried a lot for weeks. I’d never had that close of a relationship with anyone before, and even though romance went poorly she was still one of my best friends and I missed talking to her. But there was one thing she did that made me angry. Every o
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
WRONG
|
qacn85ypUQO5BxaV17pnIgsJfhQizVae
|
a65rr1
|
{
"description": "giving my dog some freedom",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 102
}
|
AITA for giving my dog some freedom?
|
AITA ? Im a proud parent of a 2 year old lab. He's really gentle and likes people a lot. HE NEVER BITES. I decided to take him for a walk off leash today, his first time. He kept following me, except for some distractions. But there was this one man with his kid walking along. Milo (my dog) just walked up to him and smelt his hand. I immediately stopped milo, but the man just swung the bag in his hand at milo. The man was aware the dog was present over there. It's not like milo snuck up on him. We had a small quarrel. In the end, i just walked away, irritated af. So, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 93,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 9,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 102
}
|
WRONG
|
VM5sZ81cxJGhhQymKXIMrkXcggVgl1qW
|
a97gut
|
{
"description": "skipping out on my fantasy football league next year",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for skipping out on my fantasy football league next year? (Heads up this is long, see TLDR)
|
This one is long, I'll save you some time and drop the TLDR at the top
TLDR - Despite having the best team, I was kept out of the playoffs by leaguemates losing intentionally to allow inferior teams in. I'm out $400 I would have won had I been in. AITA if I decide not to come back even though I've played in this league for years and am close with many of my leaguemates?
For those who may not know, fantasy football is a game based around the NFL, where you "draft" current players to assemble a team and are awarded points based on the statistical performance of those players. You play in a league with a set number of teams, 12 in our case, and can customize your roster sizes and scoring settings to make things as difficult or easy as you like. For someone who follows the sport closely, it can be a lot of fun.
I've loved football for as long as I can remember and have been really into fantasy for a few years now. I began with a very good friend of mine and some other friends of his, and have become good friends with a lot of the people we play with. Until this year, we always played just for fun, but were finding that as the season wore on and people fell out of contention for the league title some would lose interest and stop playing. To combat this and up the competitiveness of our league, we decided to set s $50 buy in and play for a cash prize (a very common practice in fantasy football).
We had a buddy go to basic training for the military and another who had to step down for personal reasons, so there was a bit of turnover coming into the season which is not a big deal. The new guys were mostly a good fit. We had a few minor issues as the season wore on but resolved things in the group chat and were generally getting along well.
Now, fantasy football is a fickle game. Because so many factors can affect a player's performance, there is always an element of luck along with your skill in assembling your team that determines whether you win or lose your matchup in any given week. It's accepted that this is part of the game, that the best team does not always win, but over the course of the season the best managed teams tend to rise to the top of the standings and make the playoffs.
I found myself in a really weird position this year where I simply got every opponent on their best week. My team scored the most cumulative points over the course of the year by a wide margin but also had the most points scored against it, and my record was going to be just barely good enough to get into the playoffs. I was confident I could still win even with a lower seed as my team was objectively the most complete (not a brag, I just had a really good year, and something that was discussed in the open with our group).
The last week of our season, some managers who had already secured their spots in the playoffs decided to sit their best players and lose intentionally so that other teams who had a lesser chance of beating them than I did would make the playoffs. There was some debate on whether this was okay to do as generally you are expected to field a competitive roster and try to win each week, but it was decided that as we had not specifically stated this as a rule to begin the year, they were free to lose intentionally and keep me out. Those who sat their players were the new additions to the league this year, and most people who had been playing with us for a long time felt it was wrong for them to do it. I was obviously unhappy but accepted this as part of the game and moved on. (As an aside, one of the "weaker" teams that they lost to allow in wound up winning the $400 prize yesterday, beating everyone who sat their players along the way, which was satisfying to watch, although I outscored his team every week and would have won myself had I been in).
This post is not meant to argue who the asshole was this year; that's in the past and not important. My question is whether I would be the asshole if I chose not to play in this league next year over what happened. It's not so much being upset about the money as it is that I personally would not have done to someone what was done to me, and I'm not sure I want to play again with people who do want to play that way. I know that a lot of the people I have played with for years will be disappointed if I don't return, and one or two of them may not play either. My buddy who I first started playing with has expressed how disappointed he would be if I don't come back and stated his concern that the league may kind of fall apart if I don't return. I feel kind of obligated to the people I have played with for years to come back, as we generally have a lot of fun. We can implement new rules to stop the sort of thing that happened to me this year, but part of me just doesn't want to bother.
So, WIBTA if I skip my league next year and potentially break up the band?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
zj6uB6jQjJd30Ihakgzz0xltU9LkBtX7
|
aoii0m
|
{
"description": "wanting my wife to gain weight",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for wanting my wife to gain weight?
|
My wife is 33 weeks pregnant at the moment. She gained 10 kilo's during her pregnancy and it has made me more attracted to her. Before all this she was very skinny. She's 1.85 meters (6ft) tall and weighed about 60 kilograms (132 lbs), her BMI was like 18 or something and it basically meant she was underweight.
She now has gained 10 kilograms (22 lbs) and it looks very good on her, obviously her tummy is huge like a balloon but honestly the rest of her body looks much healthier, her legs are thicker, her booty is thicker (which is nice, lol), she has cheeks now, her fingers don't look like only bones anymore.
I honestly want her to weigh whatever she is comfortable with, but I can't get over the fact of how much healthier (and yes, I will admit, more attractive) she looks with a little more meat on her bones.
Am I the asshole for feeling like this, and would I be an asshole if I ask her to continue this weight gain after pregnancy?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
juroLWcXD0ypj2VmzGJkrDqagqCyFYLP
|
ar5g9r
|
{
"description": "putting a height preference in my dating app bio",
"pronormative_score": 60,
"contranormative_score": 15
}
|
AITA for putting a height preference in my dating app bio?
|
My friends seem pretty split on this... mostly along gender lines which I find kind of interesting (girls say NAH, guys YTA), so I thought it would be useful to get a more definitive ruling.
So yeah, on my Tinder bio I've put a little note specifying that I'm looking for men who are at least 6 feet tall. A lot of people find this to be mean-spirited and shallow, of course. But I sort of feel like I'm doing people a kindness by just being up-front about my preferences and saving us both some trouble. If it matters, I'm 6'2'' myself - more comfortable with guys who are closer to my height and, yes, a little self-concsious about it when with someone whose height highlights out big I am.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 15,
"OTHER": 38,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 22,
"INFO": 4
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 60,
"WRONG": 15
}
|
RIGHT
|
9tqaqIYGYiDAvsbwmWsMGTINe0hdEZ4a
|
9xc4os
|
{
"description": "getting really annoyed at my friend and his wife for always being late to everything",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For getting really annoyed at my friend and his wife for always being late to everything?
|
I want to preface this by saying that we've been friends for maybe 8 years or so, maybe a bit longer and we come from a culture where things are not known to start on time (Island Time). That said I've always accommodated people by setting start times for events, gatherings, D&D nights, much earlier so if people show up 'late' they are actually on time.
But I've always been a punctual person, show up within 5 minutes of whenever people say something starts, and early 9 times out of 10. Sometimes I show up 15 mins or an hour early if the location is somewhere public and fun like a game store (so I can interact with other gamers and shop around).
Now I've moved to the states and being punctual has served me well, everything opens on time, people generally arrive on time or within 5 minutes. It's great!
I got my friend a job at the company I work at (read: I referred, he applied, etc.). He moved to the states with his wife.
They started joining my games and events to make friends and whatnot. And about 1-2 sessions of D&D/other activities in, it began.
They started showing up late, like 30 minutes late when they literally live next door to me, or an hour late when the game store is 10 minutes away.
Now, 4 or 5 months later, it's gotten worse, they show up 4 hours late or not at all to things they said: "Yeah I'm gonna be there!" enthusiastically. They've basically become a joke.
I started to curb the behavior by giving out extra XP to people who are on time or early to D&D sessions, it worked for a little while, now it's back to being 15 minutes late, and likely will get worse again.
​
Note that they don't let you know that they are gonna be late, and don't apologize, just shrug and give a sheepish look, like it's supposed to be funny; it's, in fact, really upsetting to me.
​
Am I right to be really angry when people show up super late to events and activities they said they would attend? Specifically in events that depend on a certain number of people attending like D&D.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
dRpfzViKQZ1WaA9UuzIIBSQ0nClZvkmi
|
andd11
|
{
"description": "being angry about my boyfriend going on an overseas holiday",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being angry about my boyfriend going on an overseas holiday.
|
Today, my boyfriend (who I have lived with for 3 years) told me he has already agreed to going on a month long overseas trip. Needless to say, his refusal to tell me straight away feels like a huge betrayal and quite frankly I dont want him to go. I'm not going to stop him, but his parents have already called me juvenal for feeling betrayed in this situation and I cant stop feeling angry. I feel like I'm an assholw for not being happy and excited for him, but I dont know if that's fair.
I'm bot really sure what else to write, as this is pretty much the whole thing.
TLDR: am I the asshole for feeling betrayed that my boyfriend agreed to head off overseas without even talking to me about it.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 3
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
1EqawyO1pjVYVUpQIVb6nq9Arp57LkJc
|
air96u
|
{
"description": "calling out of work",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for calling out of work?
|
Some notes: I'm 17 and I work at a pizza shop, which is my first job. I've been working there for about a year now. I am still in high school, although it's homeschooling. I tell my manager I can't work Sundays and Thursdays. A few weeks ago I told him I can't work Tuesday/Wednesday (I allowed him to request which day due to my semi flexible schedule.) He chose Tuesday to have off. Great! This week I look at the schedule (which changes every week, for some reason) and find that I am working both Tuesday AND Wednesday and only those 2 days. Wow. I text my manager and tell him early on Monday afternoon, right after I saw the schedule, that I can't come in on Tuesdays because that's a school day for me. He asks me to come in "just for this week" but I told him no. One, because I know if I say yes he will put me on the schedule for more than this week, that's how he is. Two, my school schedule is not flexible right now. I'm about to graduate and have lots of coding classes that I'm studying for and cannot afford to sacrifice time I set aside to reach my goals.
It's important to note that I have school through summer, with small breaks in between. I know it would be much to ask to have many days off as he's used to having people on summer break, but there were at least 3 other employees out of school. All throughout summer he didn't cooperate with my schedule, having me work 4-5 days a week with ILLEGAL (somehow unknown to him) HOURS. Based on his track record of not trying to cooperate with my previous schedule, I don't really want to sacrifice more time than I have to to this job like I did during summer. It was a nightmare trying to balance school, family affairs and work, among other things.
He cut my days last week without telling me and I never would've known had I not double checked when stopping by. I don't know if that's important to mention.
TL,DR: My manager puts me on days I requested off. Kinda feel bad for calling out.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
10NcCp6rUj4infRLJF1ALJEXuuucRTXD
|
9ubl05
|
{
"description": "trying to help a friend out",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for trying to help a friend out?
|
On mobile, sorry for the format.
A friend of mine lost his apartment (eviction) and I tried helping him out by letting him stay with me rent free (which is something we agreed on so he can save up and get back on his feet). He stayed with me for 2 months, He spent those 2 months on my couch, not working, and trying to get tinder dates. Every time I asked him about his job he said he doesn’t work that day.
After the 2months i told him he had to leave because I was spending 3 times as much on food, laundry, and other household items (my GF was living with me at the time) and he wasn’t trying to better his situation. So reddit AITA for not my actions?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
Jzeq1BI7zgu8zAOsXzno2hm322tnv1dR
|
ba0lyd
|
{
"description": "wanting to play DND in shared house",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to play DND in shared house?
|
AITA for wanting to host a DND group 3 hours once a week in a large 3-way shared house?
​
​
Ok here we go!
​
So I share a pretty nice house with my two roommates. (One is my sister, I am the older sister) We all get along pretty well.
​
I recently got into DND and I am finding it really fun!
​
I would like to host a weekly game night if that isn't overstepping.
​
My question to you is, is 3 hours, once a week too much too ask to have a few friends over to play DND, even if my roommates don't play?
​
This would be the only time that I brought friends that weren't shared between us all over.
​
I'm just trying to get a hold on what is cool or not between roommates.
​
Thanks for any input!
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 1
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
TZ9DcLVIzC1zu9CCZaRPBOdmYxZUDZA9
|
adrfp7
|
{
"description": "getting mad at my dad for locking me outside",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA for getting mad at my dad for locking me outside?
|
Throwaway account
Around 20 mins ago me and my sister started arguing about who got to charge our phone first, as we are traveling and only have one converter to American plugs. The argument was getting sort of loud (after around 3 minutes of arguing so far) and my dad said “I don’t care if you argue but quiet down”
We quoted down, but after around 2 more minutes we started getting loud again (not yelling but very raised voices) and he got mad, sent me and my sister outside.
Now we are in a motel in Australia, half an hour after a very long, hot, steep hike. It’s still very hot and we were out here for one or two minutes, when he then let us in.
Now once inside, I was very mad at him for doing this, so I said “why would you do that! That was just escalating the argument and poor parenting”. I regret saying that but in the time I was upset.
He then sent me back outside for almost 10 minutes. The door to the motel locks and I had to just sit on a bench outside for that whole time.
I eventually came back in and after a few minutes he explained that he wanted some peace and thought it was fair because he told us to be quiet and we didn’t.
So... AITA for getting mad at him? I realize I shouldn’t have said some of the stuff I did, but I think it was a bad decision to send me outside and he should especially realize because he, too, was still hot and sweaty from the long hike.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 9
}
|
WRONG
|
tNxLxXBIqloPnckwuXZxwkDAiOl5Dn5C
|
b8dw7z
|
{
"description": "getting mad my grandparents didnt lend me money",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 16
}
|
AITA for getting mad my grandparents didnt lend me money?
|
So I get a new job that happens to be close to where my grandparents live. I get ready and prepare to move in to an apartment but I fall $2,000 short in paying the first, last, and security.
I'm freaking out because I'm just living in my car and now I have no where to live.(grandparents live 4 hours away). I'm trying to think of a way out of this and I just think of the idea to just ask my grandparents for money to help me out. Now I honestly barely know them at all. But they are still my grandparents. My dad told my they have a few million dollars and everything they own is payed off. That's why I feel comfortable asking them. I figure $2k isnt that much for them.
So I call my grandma to see if they can help me out. She told me how this isnt just a few hundred and how was I going to pay her back. I told her I can pay her back in a few months. She's not worried about me not having a place to stay, only the money. Even though they literally just showed me their $100k+ Mercedes they just bought. She just said to figure it out on your own. And that was that.
I just feel like it's the grandparents roll to help out their kids. But at the same time I feel like some rich kid who complains when they dont get money from their parents.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 16,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 16
}
|
WRONG
|
2TMSFlQk1zkTQrn6BFWgd4Sskc0uiGoc
|
b1vq82
|
{
"description": "snitching on my 13 year old sister",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for snitching on my 13 year old sister?
|
Throwaway obviously.
Recently my sister started smoking hash/weed. She ended up going to a couple of my close friends asking if they could hook her up with a gram.
My friends knew who she was so they contacted me and asked if they should or not. I told them no and that was the end of that.
Then she asked them again... and again... in which case i WARNED her that i would tell our parents if she didnt stop because... well she is 13, and i firmly believe that anyone under the age of 16 shouldn't even consider touching ANY drug.
Then she asked me and my friend again, this time i decided to scam her for $15 dollars since i really didn't want to tell our parents (I'm 17 so i didn't really want to admit i smoked).
She is getting her money back because i don't like scamming a family member (or anyone for that matter). But thats besides the point.
She ended up finding another friend of mine selling xanax and weed, he told me he met a customer that looked an awful lot like me. I asked if her name was (her name) and he said yes.
That was my last straw, i decided 2 hours ago to call up my mom, tell her everything that had happened and that i want her to set her straight without involving police ect. Ofc, somehow she wasnt surprised about me smoking but was really upset that my 13 year old sister was.
She ends up giving me a 40min talk about harm reduction and alot of what she said i already knew but made alot of sense.
She calls my little sister, and my sister ends up calling my mom "unsupportive" and "a horrible mother". My mom started crying and was almost late to her job.
After that, my sister calls me an asshole, and threatens to snitch on me to the police. At this point i don't care but i feel like i may have made the wrong decision.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
lI44PeKRBqwTCuGlibmIV4GXlMHsPEX7
|
awwmsy
|
{
"description": "telling my daughter I don't want her to be a step parent",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 18
}
|
WIBTA for telling my daughter I don't want her to be a step parent
|
My daughter is 23, her boyfriend is 28. They've been dating for a year and I like him decently. He has a son that my daughter has spent some time with, but I didn't expect her to transition into a parental role, especially because she is so young and she has never expressed interest in becoming a parent. In fact, she was pretty adamant about not thinking pregnancy was worth it to have a child.
She has now informed me that she will be moving in with her boyfriend, and thus will be living with his son 50% of the time. This seems like the road to step motherhood, and I don't want it for her. I don't want her to play second fiddle to the biological mother or to come second to a child that is not hers. The whole idea makes me uncomfortable. WIBTA if I told her this?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 18,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 18
}
|
WRONG
|
j6CHm3Ys4s3vPUuWDkAcLevcZbn4SEtl
|
b49vtm
|
{
"description": "trying to make a friend realize her new bf is a toxic psycho",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for trying to make a friend realize her new bf is a toxic psycho?
|
A few months back I planned a trip to go visit a friend and a few weeks before the trip started, she told me that she started dating some dude. Because of being in said relationship,this dude felt it was ok for him to alter my plans (ie make me stay at his house instead of her place). Although I was super pissed, I ended up compromising: I spent half the time at his place and the other half at a hostel to explore a nearby big city with her as we originally planned since my trip could not be cancelled.
During this period I noticed a lot of warning signs about this guy she was seeing:
1. He's 12 years older than her
2. Tries to control what she wants to do and where she is
3. Constantly degrades her(from what I saw and what she told me)
4. He was very cold towards me and had a "I don't give a shit attitude" even though he made me stay at his place(as most likely to "monitor my actions")
5. Subjected her to verbal abuse
6. Overly jealous at the fact that myself and other friends have made plans to visit.
His behavior was rather alarming and even after I warned my friend to leave him, she kept defending his behavior and insisted he's a nice person(although she did acknowledge some bad things she noticed, she kept back tracking later on). She insisted she would be careful but still seemed to back track again. Last night I hung out with her and he called her cell, after she told him that she was hanging out with me, he became extremely aggressive and kept yelling at her (ex. "YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER, YOU SHOULD BEHAVE") and kept attacking her for being unfaithful and said a lot of shitty things about me too(even though we are just friends). She almost had a breakdown, so I left to give her some space after she told me so and said she wanted advice the next day. (But at the same time she kept insisting he was kidding around despite me hearing the entire conversation).
Fast forward to today, I told her how all these warnings and this shit she was dealing with was a super obvious sign that this guy is a toxic and psychotic creep. Despite acknowledging some of my concerns, she tried to insist I was being too mean to him and that he is a caring person. Supposedly the "issues" he has was related to a series of crisis in his life that affected the way he engages with people. She still insisted being with him is a good thing for her and claimed that she would end the relationship once she realizes he goes too far and that I shouldn't be too worried.
TLDR: Planned a trip to visit a friend. She started dating a older guy before I arrived that exhibits extreme jealousy and paranoia. Despite my repeated attempts to warn her about him, my friend still tries to insist nothing is wrong.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
vsg83Nn70h8UtXFrUWlgGNIq3lVjpmWX
|
b6fser
|
{
"description": "being nice to other people",
"pronormative_score": 42,
"contranormative_score": 20
}
|
AITA for being nice to other people (and mean to my GF)?
|
Me (24m) and my gf (24f) have been in a great relationship for two years. Life with her is a bliss, except for one thing. Due to the cultures we grew up in, I care a lot about other people and want to be nice to everyone and go on in my life without being a problem to others. Meanwhile, my gf couldn't care less about other people and always does things that make her comfortable, even if it would make others uncomfortable.
For example, many times we have walked past a restaurant, and she slows down or stops to stare inside of the food people are eating. Usually people are sitting by the window and look little uncomfortable when she does that. I feel uncomfortable too, especially is she fully stops. I tell her that she shouldn't stare so much, other people might find it uncomfortable, but she says she does whatever she wants.
She also doesn't care about her surroundings. She walks on the bike lanes (not on purpose) and I always have to tell her to walk on the right side of the road or watch out if some bikes or big groups of people are coming.
She might watch some videos or play music quite loud until late and around 9-10pm I have to tell her to turn it down because the neighbors might be sleeping. She might also want to start the laundry machine in the evening, and gets mad at me if I say we should do it tomorrow because it's quite loud for neighbors. She says she doesn't care.
The last thing was today when we were walking across a big street. There were no cars coming so we just crossed the lights even though they were red. However, my playful girlfriend thought it's fun to press all the buttons as we walk past them, causing the crossing's lights turn red for the drivers, and green for us. But we had already crossed the road. So now there were couple cars that had to stop at the lights even though no one was walking across the road. I told my girlfriend she shouldn't do that, because now the drivers have to wait for nothing. She got mad and said I don't like anything she does and always tell her what to do and not to do.
I just care about other people and feel uncomfortable if they suffer or have to wait because of something I did. I might sound little blunt telling my girlfriend what to do or not, but I never force her to do anything. Most of the time I even try to sound not serious but happy and just slip in the conversation she probably shouldn't do something, but she still gets offended. On the other hand she says she feel uncomfortable with too many rules and if she can't do whatever she likes.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 35,
"EVERYBODY": 12,
"NOBODY": 7,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 42,
"WRONG": 20
}
|
RIGHT
|
doaVeONVsGGRraaLy0gAZtJh76lpH8l9
|
b5b5di
|
{
"description": "being jealous of my gf",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being jealous of my gf?
|
Recently I started to date a girl that I believe is perfect in every aspect. I met her 5 years ago, and liked her since, but only got to date her about 3 months ago.
We have mutual friends, that we like to go out in couple dates. This couple study in her college, and I study 438km away from her, being able to see her 3 days a month.
Since the last time we saw each other we've been planning this weekend, since is her birthday.
Well, we planned going out to eat sushi on saturday, then foing her house. In the sunday, the plan was to go some fancy restaurant with her parents (the birthday was on sunday) and then watch some movies together at night.
It happens that i came early to town, in the friday, and surprised her. While we were chatting, she told me that in the saturday, we were changing plans and going to a birthday party of our friend couple. I really didn't like that she only told me that one day before.
But okay, we ate sushi and passed by the party. Before entering the party, I received a message from the Friend saying that he and her gf were going to my gf house on sunday, night to see movies. I looked at her and asked "seriously?" since she didn't told me. But okay, I got mad, barely talked to anyone in the 20 minutes we stayed in the party, not because the plan changing, but because I got really sad that she wasn't telling me her plans.
But okay, sunday came, we lunched in a incredible restaurant, then we get to go to a water fall, and i gave her the birthday presents. One of them, a neckless with earrings. She liked, told that she liked very much. The when the couple came, they gave her a necklace pretty much the same. She picked the present and at the same time putted in her neck.
The dinner started and felt really, really bad. My pressure felt in the ground, and i couldn't chat with anyone. Everyone detected something wrong. My mother-in-law got worried. (Btw my pressure felt not just for that, last night we were togheter until 4am, and i waked up at 6am to go with her family to church, didn't slept since).
She was drinking wine, and asked me to accompany her to her room, where a little drunk she asked what was going on, and i told her "nice necklesses". She got really really sad, but i was sad too. I fell in my knees and asked forgiveness for her for being jealous, we didn't argued or anything. But i felt really really bad, and her too. We got back to the dinner, but everything was not okay.
Before going to sleep, we texted each other, i apologized more than i should, and less than necessary.
She said that she loved my, sent many audios telling this.
And this morning, everything is not okay. She is clearly mad. I bought some flowers, came to her college, apologized again in the break time. Now I'm waiting her class to finish so i can chat with her properly, but I really think I blew up the relationship with the person that i think about since 5 years ago. Please, while saying YTA, please help me to make this get better.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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giKCXlu7BMg3S1BRX9tg2hfcirDIW0Xk
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b40xeo
|
{
"description": "being hurt that my boyfriend wouldn't dress down to a wedding with me",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for being hurt that my boyfriend wouldn't dress down to a wedding with me?
|
So I agreed to go to an out of town wedding with my boyfriend, and a few weeks in advance I asked what I should wear. I didn't own a suit, and wanted to know if slacks and a button down would be too casual. I had plenty of money to be able to afford a suit, and as an adult man it would be reasonable for me to have one anyway. He told me that it would be totally fine, I didn't need a suit.
Flash forward to the night before we leave for the wedding, we're packing and I notice he's packing a suit. I said I thought we didn't need suits and he said I'd still be fine without one, but he was going to wear one. This got me concerned that I'd be really underdressed. I asked him if he could please not wear a suit, since I still didn't have one and had no way to get one in time. I assumed this would be fine, since he told me it'd be okay not to wear one in the first place. He probably just didn't realize that I'd feel a lot more comfortable: I knew that if we were dressed to the same level, I'd feel less out of place (you know, solidarity and all that). I didn't know anyone at the wedding and am just self conscious about being over/under dressed to things generally. To my surprise, he outright refused. He said HE'D feel underdressed and out of place at a wedding without a suit. We argued about it for awhile, and at the end of the day he still refused to dress down at all.
This hurt my feelings quite a bit because it felt like he was choosing appearances over my feelings. Essentially he'd rather me feel underdressed than him, even when he told it'd be fine in the first place. If he wouldn't feel comfortable without a suit, why would he tell me I'd be okay without one? I couldn't (and still don't) understand--if the roles were reversed, I'd dress down in a heartbeat.
I recognize that this is a small deal, it sounds silly even writing it, but to me that almost makes it worse--I was having a ton of anxiety about it, and it seems like such a small thing for him to just dress down to the level he told me was reasonable. On the other hand, I wonder if I'm the asshole for being hurt and making such a big deal out of this, because it's his decision to wear what he wants to wear and I shouldn't be trying to control that even if it WOULD make me feel a lot more comfortable? So what do you think, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
wzQSyN2w5Wd0kCE8Yw2yTBKNk6b8FMRi
|
b746nb
|
{
"description": "rebelling against my Step-Sister for BS",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for rebelling against my Step-Sister for BS?
|
Alright, first-time poster so this is possibly going to be bad, also this is one story out of a dozen, where there is a clear cut bad and good, this is one of the grey ones that I wanted to share.
​
To summarize 4 months in a sentence, brother and sister in law moved back with my parents, taking my room in the process while I have to live in small crawlspace like room, without a lot of my own things which are in my room including my PC which they claimed they would pay rent for, never saw a cent.
​
I'm trying to do a project on my PC that's due tomorrow. Enter sister in law who just got back from college and when she enters the room unceremoniously tells me to GTFO of the room to change & take a nap. Tell her my project situation but she apparently doesn't give a shit. Me being a smart-ass I tell her there are a good bathroom and a couch in the living room. Sister in Law flips her shit and then proceeds to yell, scream and bitch about me being a brat, stuck up, and not listening to elders. In response, I said the following. "Elder? An elder is supposed to give someone wisdom, the only wisdom you could give someone is the teeth in the very back of your fucking head." It is at this point in when she pulls up the phone and calls brother, tells him what's going on (he's at work when this happened BTW) and in crying voice tell him "I'm done with OP (me)", I give a good, loud rebuttle, "Feelings mutual". Then the shitstorm of hell breaks loose as my brother throws every insult in the book at me to get me out of my own room through a phone, doesn't work. When I finished my project I got up and left the room, not 3 steps out of the door, sister in law proceeded to slam the door behind me and locks it. The rest of the day is my bro screaming at me while my parents sit there and do nothing (why I resent them to this day). Immediately tomorrow, I take my PC out of their way and put it in my crawlspace, where it just barely fits in a corner, bro and sister in law scream at me to put it back or they are going to sell it, and all of this other shit, while I proceed to just keep saying the classic phrase, fuck off. For the next 2 months my PC sat in my room in a box before my sister in law said fuck it and moved into her parent's house who actually had a spare room that was a decent size, and immediately moved over there.
So I ask you Reddit, who is the ass in this situation, Me, or Bro and his wife?
P.S. Relations haven't improved.
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
VpmwsKYNCQyMMelvIpazyMQ2HOP4eVIZ
|
b7qiag
|
{
"description": "shaving my head because I wanted to and getting mad at someone for saying girls should have long hair",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA- shaving my head because I wanted to and getting mad at someone for saying girls should have long hair?
|
When I was 15(f) so about last year I got really sick of my hair and wanted to shave it all off instead of just a trim. It took my mother weeks to agree to it but after I did it I thought it looked amazing even my grandmother liked it.
But random strangers would always give me dirty looks or comments about me being “sick” but one old man who lives me would give me especially dirty looks and once asked me while waiting in line at the grocery store if I was “sick or just stupid” for shaving off my “beautiful hair “ (which it wasn’t it was fried from my dying it every month) and I told him basically that I can do whatever I want with my head because it’s mine and I don’t care what he thinks.
This man decides to tell me “girls only look good with long hair. You should think about getting a wig to cover it” and I told him fuck off and went back home
Am I the asshole? He was just giving his opinion but it was a very rude way to do it. Especially to a child who he was no idea about my life and I very well could have been sick.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
HvWxZLQdufDOeW9jq2vkn6bd5etJ7IUy
|
9yyrrn
|
{
"description": "breaking things off with someone for commenting on my vaginal smell",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for breaking things off with someone for commenting on my vaginal smell?
|
Throw away friends know my main.
Just started a new relationship and as I just got off my period we have began having sex for the first few times. He knows I just got off my period and I don’t expect him to understand the female anatomy but he kept hinting at my smell during sex. I only get my period once every four months due to birth control so things get a little out of wack when it happens.
I’d also like to add for my own embarrassment I shower daily with unscented soap around this time and have never had an issue like this before.
Finally this morning I get a text saying he’s concerned about my health and that I might have bacterial vaginitis and that it probably isn’t just a post period thing and he’s having a hard time having sex with me. In addition immediately after that he said maybe we need to slow our relationship down. I tried to explain that new partners can throw off ph balance as well to which the response was just an ok and a string of uninvolved texts when I made it clear I was embarrassed.
In addition to this he took the blame for moving things a bit too fast and I had recently told him I value openness and communication in a relationship. For this I feel like a hypocrite. I also feel that telling your girlfriend you don’t like her shoes and her pussy stank are on entirely different levels of openness we have not yet reached lol. I just felt double attacked in that moment when I feel a new relationship should be about being sweet and comforting each other. I also feel like this is a huge scar in my comfort moving forward with him intimately if I decide to continue seeing him.
I’m incredibly hurt and embarrassed and broke things off. Am I the sensitive immature asshole here for breaking things off? He seems upset but willing to give me space.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 5,
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
ykAml12uA0Ej6zZdA5Pe1NXmfcSD5XUj
|
azkzlo
|
{
"description": "feeding my friend when they said no",
"pronormative_score": 18,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for feeding my friend when they said no?
|
So for my partners birthday, we had everyone round ours for celebration, including a few friends that are known to be a bit...sensitive and quick to jump to conclusions. They also get I'll very regularly and are constantly tired, so it was lovely seeing them both, even if it was just for a few hours.
They were planning on heading home just as I was starting on the main meal for the night: I at this point was in host-mode so just assumed I was cooking for everyone. One of the people in question is gluten intolerant, so I made a separate meal for them. They objected to this, I assumed out of politeness. But I was all-go, and I could see they were exhausted, and would not wanna go home and cook, or wait for a takeaway.
So, I finished cooking as they were leaving and packed them up to little tubs of food to go, the GF one labelled as such. They smiled and left.
Few days later, we have a disagreement. They call me childish (I'm 8 years younger but I like to think I'm mature) and ignorant. They bring up my partners birthday, and how I ignored their 'pleas' at not wanting food, saying how they felt like they had said no and that should have been enough. They kept bringing it up over and over, saying how ignorant and an assailed I had been for giving them food.
I didn't feel like I was in the wrong...as I said, they were exhausted. And if they didn't want the food, they could have thrown it out the moment they left my house. But instead, they took it and made me out to be bad. Now I wanna know if what I did really was bad of me....
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 17,
"EVERYBODY": 8,
"NOBODY": 1,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
7BxYz8LnpT8kixQmagYXzPXJZE6MALY0
|
9x5xkv
|
{
"description": "not picking my brother up from school",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not picking my brother up from school
|
My youngest brother is 12, doesn’t have a phone due to losing everything and just not being responsible in general. Everyday at 2:30pm I pick him up from school and every other day I take him to and pick him up from karate 5-6pm. My parents insist I do this because they are either at work or just got home from work when he needs rides. My other brother works from 3-6 after school and can’t give him rides either. The thing is his school is 0.7 miles from our house and karate is 0.2!! Literally down a block and a half from our house. My mom insists he needs rides because it’s too cold and night, and he used to have a big instrument from school but he doesn’t anymore and definitely can walk.
Yesterday was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Ever since I started picking him up, a year ago, he never looks for my car. If I’m not right up front, he waits around where I generally can’t see him, then walks home. His school is BUSY and I have come and park 15-20minutes early just so he sees my car. If I have to park across the street he won’t even look. Once I drove in circles trying to get him to notice and even yelled out the window and he just kept walking.
This happens way too often. Yesterday I waited 25 minutes just to get a call that he walked home from karate. This was the 2nd time in a row this happened. I was only 2 cars from the entrance (parked facing it so maybe only 25ft or less) but a truck blocked my view and I could not see if he was there.
When I got home I was livid, I pay for my own gas and I waste SO much just driving to get him for no reason. And in the winter I leave my car on so I don’t freeze, making me waste even more gas. I told my parents I’m not giving him rides anymore, he can walk. They went on and on about how they can’t give him rides and it’s not a big deal. They didn’t even tell him to look for my car, they said it wasn’t his fault. I just don’t understand how many times can this happen before he looks for my car for once. He’s not an idiot but wow I get so mad because he can’t get simple stuff like this in his head.
When I got home later that night I was told he was upset and it’s my fault. I didn’t even talk to him, I just told my parents I’m done with this ridiculous and not giving rides anymore. Apparently he overheard and is upset because I was being a jerk??
Anyway today my mom went to pick him up, GUESS WHAT HE DIDNT LOOK FOR HER. And she ended up just leaving and he walked home. She said he can walk now but is still mad at me for not giving him rides???
TLDR; my brother walks home when I try to give him rides because he doesn’t look for my car, but I’m the jerk for not wanting to waste my time/money anymore.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
JDfqquV7Iy4gbP61bT6qWsTWc2OTksmk
|
aius5a
|
{
"description": "driving the speed limit",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for driving the speed limit?
|
For background I was having a conversation with some friends at work. And all three sledged me about being a slow driver because it took me 10hrs to drive from Sydney to Brisbane when they drive it in 7.5-9hrs. According to google it takes about 9.9hrs make the trip. But here in the city 10-15k over the limit is the norm. They said I was disruptive by driving the speed limit and now I’m wondering. I use the left lane most of the time, I stick exactly to the speed limit so that I’m not a danger to others, if anything I balance about 1k over most of the time however I’ve been tail gated and beeped at and now my coworkers agree. Am I the asshole for driving the speed limit?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
3MnZQ3bl9lWsy4QCeitKrR5t3SOfqJRB
|
am7uw2
|
{
"description": "telling my girlfriend, that I want her full trust or none",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 15
}
|
AITA for telling my girlfriend, that I want her full trust or none?
|
I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 5 months now and we had a interesting conversation tonight. I made a joke about kissing a random girl and she believed me at first but then I told her I was messing around with her. She said to me she doesn't like that because she has been cheated on before and doesn't want to be hurt again. I told her that I understand her and being cheated on sucks but I also told her there is a reason behind of it most of the times. We discussed what reasons could be behind there and 10 minutes later when I said ,,a healthy relationship is based on how much vulnerability are you ready to show and the pain that comes with it to take." I told her that I fully trust her she won't cheat on me. I asked if she fully trusts me aswell on which she replied with: "I trust you.". I asked her again and it went back and forth for a while. I told her, that I cannot see a point in this relationship if she can't fully trust me. She said she loves me to which I replied: "Well, if you really do, then why don't you fully trust me?" She said that she does trust me but its her own personal issues. I told her she shouldn't bring those into a relationship. When she said she doesn't I asked her again. Of course she did answer like before. After a while I told her that I either want her full trust or none.
AITA for telling her I value full trust in a relationship otherwise I don't see a point in it?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 0,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
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}
|
WRONG
|
uLZLEORdUrnQVv7xVFf9Devwlg5o7FML
|
an1u7k
|
{
"description": "not allowing my parents to drive my car",
"pronormative_score": 27,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For not allowing my parents to drive my car?
|
I recently bough my first car after passing my test. I paid for the car and the insurance myself. I also insured my parents to my car because they asked even though they have their own car. I also live at home with my parents and sister. My parents do have their own car which they share. Anyway since my sister totalled her previous car so they decided my sister should drive their car and they drive my car. They would guilt me into giving them my car at times and only let me drive it when its available or when i went to work. I don’t mind helping out my parents or sister but instead of telling my sister she can take the bus to get to work they thought she should drive their car and me to let them drive mine even though i needed the car too.
My mother ended up crashing my car which was deemed her fault. The insurance wrote off the car and ended up not paying out as they car was an old model which they scrapped.
I have starting to look for a new car and informed my parents i will not be insuring them and letting them drive my next car. They went on a angry rant on how they need a car even though i pointed out they have their own car which they let my sister drive. AITA for not insuring my parents on my next car.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
nx0wKhgFocffO3FQMdY55F8Xl1QrEwHN
|
atool7
|
{
"description": "ignoring my high school best friend",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for ignoring my high school best friend?
|
I’m gonna try to be as straight forward as possible and not push anything against her.
Anyways, going into high school, I wasn’t that social and had very few friends, she was the new girl. We were both on the school soccer team and when asked to partner up, we were always the only 2 left, so we’d always end up being partners. We clicked immediately and I helped her around as she was new to the area.
Over the years we were doing everything together. But around junior year of high school things were going downhill. She started getting jealous of me whenever I got involved with boys and we were fighting more often. But with all the pressure on us of being I separable, I had to deal with it and make up with her.
May I also point out she’s had a terrible home life and parents are divorced and her dad is verbally abusive. But I do not allow that as an excuse for the stuff she put me through.
She always expected me to read her mind and got mad when I didn’t do what she wanted. She was trying to control my life and always try to do things to be better than me to one-up me and brag to me about it.
Senior year I get a boyfriend and she struggles to keep a boyfriend for more than a week. Whenever I told her what I did, she would find a guy, hook up with him, and then brag to me what she did.
She would always tell me how much of an asshole my boyfriend was and how “we wouldn’t last”. She was the only person who pushed situations to have an excuse to hate him. (For example: she kicked my boyfriend in the balls and out of reaction my boyfriend swung as a reflex and hit her. She then went around telling everybody my boyfriend slapped her without the co text that she kicked him in the balls for no reason.)
She committed to a school 9 hours away while I was staying local.
The breaking point for me was when me and my group of friends went on vacation. We went to one of my friends’s aunt’s beach house. So I invited my best friend and told her THE SPECIFIC DATES. I said “these are the dates, so let <our friend> know if you can go” because it’s not my trip, nor my house, so I told her to let the friend in charge of the trip to know if she can go.
We go on the trip and she never said anything. We come home and she starts blaming me for not inviting her. I tell her I told her the dates and she said “no, you just told me to tell <our friend>.” And I’m like, yeah, because she was in charge of the trip.
TURNS OUT, she couldn’t have went on the trip anyways, so we don’t even know why she was making a big deal out of it.
A week later she goes to college and I ignore her texts and stuff. Eventually I told her why I was ignoring her and she once again, blamed ME for everything, and didn’t even want to hear me out. So I ignored her again and she still keeps asking what she did and why I hate her, even though I’ve told her multiple times.
So AITA for ignoring her after 4 years of being best friends?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
plYSmTo9LD7xFAIkNsnbDhIIBEvKUM3g
|
adasdz
|
{
"description": "being upset with my friend for cancelling our plans for her son's birthday very last minute",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being upset with my friend for cancelling our plans for her son’s birthday very last minute?
|
My best friend’s son turned two the day after Christmas. The week before, she’d told me they weren’t planning to do anything for his birthday. I offered to make a cake and do photos for them, and she agreed and started planning everything with me. We talked about it almost daily because I was bouncing ideas off her and getting approval and such. I started the cake on Christmas, and I ended up having some issues with it and had to remake a bunch of stuff and make a couple more trips to the store. I spent so much time and money making the damn cake and she knew about it. When it was finally done, I asked if they wanted to come over after nap time, and she told me her husband decided he was going to take everyone out when he got home from work and wasn’t going to “force him” to come to my house. I let her know that I was upset and she just told me that I didn’t have to make the cake, and was very unapologetic about it all. I just can’t imagine talking about plans with someone for days and then canceling last minute like that. So, AITA?
TL;DR spent hours making a birthday cake that had been planned for about a week, only for my friend to cancel at the last minute so her husband could take them out.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
qdv7YmnANKTQf3afYdXboKdPpZG01t2m
|
b6s53q
|
{
"description": "saying people who don't have dysphoria aren't trans",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 14
}
|
AITA for saying people who don't have dysphoria aren't trans?
|
Ok so basically me and this person were having a conversation about LGBT problems and the subject of dysphoria came up.
Now let me make this clear, I'm trans, I experience dysphoria, and the way I see it if you don't have dysphoria you're not trans, you're either experiencing dysmorphia or looking for attention. You can havr prefered pronouns but you're not trans if you don't have dysphoria, and I told them that.
Well, to say they went off on me would be an understatement, they told me I was a transphobic asshole (evem though I'm trans???) and told me that if I ever tried to talk to them again they'd "expose" me (dunno how but still).
So, am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 9,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 14
}
|
WRONG
|
0nHy8p0Oj19ATLwYUZQl8pg0L623pxxx
|
aucwnm
|
{
"description": "not wanting to play online gaming with my friends child",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to play online gaming with my friends child?
|
I’ve always loved gaming but never really had a friend to enjoy the full online experience with. Then we met at work, instantly we clicked over our love of gaming amongst other things. Nearly every night for the last year we would sleigh ass on Fortnite, oh the sweet sweet chemistry. Then recently he has started putting his 7 year old child on for games. Not for one, two or even theee games, no he expects me to play for like an hour as if I’m fully enjoying it which sometimes I am but honestly we only get about an hour or two to game a day and we barely get a chance to play these days. I like playing with the kid like a game or two but it’s becoming so much more than that and they join my lobby every time I’m online.
Tl;dr friends child keeps eating into our gaming time.
|
HISTORICAL
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ab8kl2
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"description": "not moving everyone along",
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|
AITA for not moving everyone along?
|
Background - I recently turned 21, I live with my parents and my mom is my boss who drives us to our work.
Ok so yesterday she mentioned we need to leave 'early' today - no time given just 'early' so I set my alarm for 7. Got up at 7, drug myself to her, room,she's sleeping. Her phone is set for 8:45, so I set mine for 8:30 and go back to bed. She comes in at 8:45 and again says we need to leave 'early' but again gives no time. I'm like fuck it I'm tired I'mma lay in bed and browse Reddit I can be ready in 5 minutes, she's the driver, she'll say when we need to leave I think. At about 9:30 she starts screaming up the stairs we are late and need to go and the car ride over she berates me for not leaving earlier - apparently she wanted to leave at 9 and this is what she meant by early. I told her she didn't communicate that and she snapped at me that I know we leave at 9:30 why was I lollygagging, then tried to guilt trip me because I grabbed a thin coat and was cold and "You're 21 I shouldn't have to make sure you're warm it would have been two minutes we could have waited".
Am I the asshole for not waiting by the door, or is she for not explaining what she meant by 'early' and giving me no warning until she deemed we were 'late'?
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HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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ad16oy
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"description": "not caring when people are into me",
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}
|
AITA for not caring when people are into me?
|
Guess the title is pretty straightforward. Anyway, I'm 18, and up till about last year I was short, kind of round and rather awkward. Puberty hit late I suppose, and now I get a fair bit of attention, but the problem is that I never have an urge to act on it. I've never once pursued a girl, even when it's crystal clear that she likes me, I've never talked to the girls on my Tinder and I feel kind of like a douche ignoring girls like this. I'm 100% fine with being friends with girls, but I never have an interest in asking them out. I find girls attractive I guess, but I can't seem to be bothered. Some of the girls that later ended up being just normal friends seem a bit resentful about that. and I have a certain reputation.
Am I the asshole for just not giving a fuck about this stuff? I feel like a dick when I turn people down or leave them hanging but I never know what to say, and I don't really care to think of things to say. Why am I even like this? Is there something wrong with me, or am I still stuck as that round short kid with no confidence?
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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aq0tey
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{
"description": "not caring for a specific person",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
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|
AITA for not caring for a specific person?
|
I used to have this "friend" who would do the following things:
\-Berated my whenever I didn't do what she said
\-Got punched because I accidentally blew snow in her face and I said sorry. She punched me really hard in the stomache because quote "You didn't say sorry". Her logic was that because she supposedly had good hearing, it was impossible for me to have apologized without her hearing.
\-Sat on me with my arm twisted behind my back and wouldn't get off until I agreed to give her an item of mine. (Joke is on her because her mom came to pick her up)
\-When I was having a depressive episode (she didn't know, but most people knew I was having a hard time without me giving specifics) she gave me a list of people who didn't like me and why.
\-When I called her out for berating me, she told me I was being a huge jerk to her.
\-She would blow up at me for little things. One day, I didn't notice she got her eyebrows done, and she yelled at me and stormed off. Another time this happened was when I messed up painting her nails by accidentally getting it on her skin. The results were the same as before.
\-She knew I had a lot of difficulty with social skills (I found out later that it was because of autism) and I asked her to help me, instead she yelled at me when I messed up.
\-When I was acting erratically during psychotic episodes (I have multiple mental health disorders, in this case schizophrenia) she accused me of doing it for attention and getting laughs out of people.
\-She would touch me without permission, even though she knows I hate being touched. That included sitting on me, "play" attack me and possibly the occasional slap.
\-She said she touched me without permission because she didn't know boundaries. I tried explaining it to her, but she plugged her ears, laughed, and walked off.
\-When we were kids she said I was a bad christian for believing in magic (even though she believes in Santa)
This is all I remember off of the top of my head, but she did more. Also, remember when I was having a depressive episode? Well she did some of this stuff when I was on the very edge, and that was just enough to motivate me to commit suicide. (obviously, I failed)
Months later she mentioned she cuts on her legs (even though in a swimsuit, she didn't have any visible cuts, although I could be wrong because I suck at making detailed timelines from memory). She mentioned depression. In the past she has told me a lot of people were mean to her, but they were pretty nice to her (I know this because she was always with me. We were in church,school and we hung out a lot. On top of that she lived right next to me). And we were together for several hours a week) Fast forward to late 2018. She takes my phone and goes to the notes app. She writes a thing saying she might be bipolar. She asks for advice. She said "this nice lady" told her she might be. She went into specifics about some of her issues. I agreed that those symptoms would fit (I have a slight idea about the disorder because my dad was bipolar) and I just told her to get professional help and take care of herself. I didn't really care, I was just confused and wanted her to leave me alone. She told everyone in YW (young womens, it's a thing mormons do) my ward (church community) that she had depression. I didn't doubt this, but I felt suspicious.
If something she did to me was ever mentioned, she would say she changed. It would be nice to believe this, but I found out that around that time, a mutual friend hung out with her as much as she used to with me. That friend got transferred to another school because she was bullied by someone. She also tried to get me to give her my number (I said no) and kept sitting next to me in church for a while (she stopped in early 2018). Don't get me wrong, I don't hate her. I used to, but I realized hatred only hurt me so the hatred withered away. I have a similar attitude with her to most people: not liking, nor hating her. The difference is, I have lost the ability to care completely and I have no interest in having a relationship with her again. I am willing to help her as long as nothing on my part is at stake. AITA for cutting her out and not caring?
&#x200B;
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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apbh9e
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{
"description": "not wanting my in-laws to visit our baby",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for not wanting my in-laws to visit our baby (their only grandchild)?
|
In-laws visited again today. They live 2.5 hours away and came to spend the weekend in our city. We told them we could see them Sunday morning to Sunday early evening. My husband made it very clear that we needed the evening to get ready for the week. My husband had some catching up to do for work and needed the evening hours for that. I like to do food prep and cleaning on Sundays and possibly sneak downstairs to our building’s gym while our baby naps and my husband is home to grab him if he wakes up.
They came to our place at 11am. We hung out and played with the baby and then went to lunch. Got back around 3:30pm and baby was sleeping. The plan was for them to leave at 5pm to meet up with my brother in-law. Brother in-law ran late and didn’t show up until 6pm. They didn’t all leave until 7pm. Baby took a miracle nap from 3:30pm to 6:30pm. My husband and I could have gotten so much done during that time.
I want my husband to set stronger boundaries with his parents and tell them they can’t visit us if they don’t respect our time. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
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|
b1ffik
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{
"description": "ignoring an ex-good friend of mine",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for ignoring an ex-good friend of mine ?
|
Hi, so this is my first post here.
Not so long ago my good friend (we used to talk everyday and have lunch together, i even slept at her place a few times) started to distance herself because she found new friends with better chemistry i guess. I felt bad but she send me a text to say I was paranoid and that nothing changed, nothing was bad between us.
But things really changed, she really stopped talking to me and only hang out with her new friends.
I felt really bad because and told her a second time, without accusing or being mean about it.
She was pissed and told me she didn't see why I felt that way.
She thought i hated her for that but that wasn't the case, so it was kinda weird i think.
After this, we entirely stopped talking, saying hello or whatever. We are now strangers, and I don't know if it's my fault. I feel bad about this friendship because i liked hanging out with her. I don't know if I should apologize for what happened, make a first step toward her or wait for her to come back.
Anyway, what do you think, AITA?
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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avyc7j
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{
"description": "driving at the speed limit on a mountainous, one-lane road",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for driving at the speed limit on a mountainous, one-lane road?
|
So on my commute to work, I take a route that takes me through a mountain/canyon road. This is a one-lane road, meaning there's only one lane going in either direction. Legally passing a car is not possible here.
The speed limit is 45mph throughout the entirety of this mountain road, due to how many sharp turns and curves there are.
I always adhere to the speed limit when driving here, and I've never encountered any issues for the past 3 years that I've been using this route.
Last week on the way to work, I notice that there's a single car behind me that's aggressively tailgating me. Like, they got *really* close. They also honked at me aggressively multiple times, but I just kept minding my own business. I realize that they were accusing me of being slow, but I didn't want to go any faster because:
1. I'm already going at the speed limit
2. Like I said, it's a mountainous road, so sharp turns and curves throughout. Going any faster would be unsafe.
In the end, the car behind me eventually went "Screw it", and proceeded to do the unthinkable. They drove into the other lane, then sped up and passed me on my left, while giving me one final "f*** you!" honk as they passed me. Keep in mind that this is a one lane road, so the lane they drove into is meant for oncoming traffic. Luckily, there were no cars in that lane at the time, otherwise that car would be in for a very bad time. If there were cars in that lane, it would cause a pretty serious accident, considering there's the possibility of a vehicle being thrown over the cliff side.
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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hPvYy2kwcw2zDP2nbMLPAGSIwpZ1dFwK
|
alagie
|
{
"description": "charging a drink to a hotel room",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for charging a drink to a hotel room
|
I'm writing from the perspective of my 22yr old female friend
I follow this minor celebrity on twitter. He was doing a show in town so I send him a message and we got to talking. I asked if we could have a drink together and he said yes but at his hotel room. I told him I'm more comfortable if we met at the hotel bar and he didn't say anything. A few days before he got into town I asked him for his number and what day we can meet. He replies with the day/time/hotel he's staying at.
Day of I texted him saying I'm almost at the hotel. About 10mins later I texted him I was here and ordered a drink. He texted back saying to go to his room and his room #. I texted back saying I'm not comfortable with that and I only wanted to talk and I'm waiting at the hotel bar. He said he doesn't want to be recognized and only willing to talk in his room. I told him I'll wait for 15mins and if he doesn't show I'm leaving. He texted if I change my mind I know where to find him.
I asked the bartender to charge it to (his room number). AITA?
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HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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KFSmOw08GtAjVCnxNOAQGl88SBXJQob0
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ac2d54
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{
"description": "wanting to pursue a girl that roommate wants? Context girl we both just met, hes been texting her for a couple of days she and few other friends come over and she sits next to me entire night and lays her head right next to lap. she's also leaving for deployment so it wouldn't be a",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting to pursue a girl that roommate wants? Context girl we both just met, hes been texting her for a couple of days she and few other friends come over and she sits next to me entire night and lays her head right next to lap. She's also leaving for deployment so it wouldn't be a...
|
...long term thing for either of us
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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ggsEu4oPBjgIuK85xJdRsNxJFTidjvSd
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ay29oa
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{
"description": "not driving my fiancee to class",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for not driving my fiancee to class?
|
Background- both my fiancee (21F) and I (21M) live in the same house, and we are both going to college. At the moment, we only have one working car, and it's mine. I've made a strong effort help her get to class on time even though it's not really my responsibility. She has an 8 a.m. class, and my first class is at 9 am. I've helped her arrange another ride to class, and she frequently misses it, and then I bring her in without having gone to her 8 a.m.
Last night, I told her that she could not sleep in my room in my bed, in part because I wanted to have my space back. She frequently sleeps in my bed, and I don't feel like the Space is really mine, despite us paying separate rent and her having her own room. This usually upsets her when I do this, but I needed my space back for the evening even if it caused her problems. As expected, she did get upset, and stormed out of the room. She later expressed to me that she would not be able to sleep in her bed until she cleaned it off, which is ultimately not my issue.
It's morning, she apparently did not go to class, in spite of having a test. She's already used to drop grade, and this is frankly quite aggravating. However, I did not find out about this until I was already at school. Because of the 10 situation the previous night, I decided not to leave my ringer on on my phone because I know it would keep me awake. As a result, I did not receive the message that she had sent to me asking if she could get a ride.
Writing this honestly makes me think this might be a waste of my time, but by the fact that she's giving me the cold shoulder, I certainly feel like an asshole. So, Reddit, am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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1ZtveudHdz5TPbwc8xQnHtJFEP11GM7M
|
b8rl82
|
{
"description": "wanting to push a trade through",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for wanting to push a trade through?
|
I've been playing 2k with some people I met on Reddit for a few years now. A bunch of us decided to make a new league and recruit some new guys to fill vacant teams and play with us.
So I was in talks for a trade with one of those guys and we agreed on a deal a few days ago. Everything was set and we were ready to do the trade but our schedules never matched up to get this thing in the game.
Unfortunately he then told us he lost someone close to him very recently and wouldn't be in the mood to play for a while, we should just put his team on auto pilot and he'll be back after he's had some time for himself.
I then proceeded to message the people in charge of the league to see if they could do the trade we had in place before he went on a break and got chastised because I was the insensitive one.
&#x200B;
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
w1Z8SZhnd72rarZeXHc3ccg2iTsHKRr5
|
ak9cda
|
{
"description": "telling my fiance I dont want her male friend in our wedding",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
WIBTA If I tell my fiance I dont want her male friend in our wedding?
|
Background: my fiance has some trouble with being in a relationship sometimes, as she believes some of her actions aren't right for in a relationship. For example, she felt badly when an old crush/friend of hers texted her sister on Christmas, but not her. Or when she develops a mini-crush on a guy because they are in the same scope of study. She gets feelings and suddenly she feels terrible about it, and we get into a debate about whether or not she is treating me fairly (I always tell her that feelings for someone are natural and not voluntary, because she is choosing to be with me and marry me). One of these guys she had a crush on for a bit, I will call Derek, he is a friend of hers at University; this is important later.
Anyway, we were discussing who would be groomsmen and bridesmaids, flower girls, ring bearers, etc. at our wedding. My groomsmen are basically set- my best friend, my brother, and her brother, with whom I am great friends. Her bridesmaids are her sister and two of her friends.
A few days ago, she learned that the ushers at weddings were chosen by the couple as a sort of position of honor, and she mentioned that she wanted Derek to be one of the ushers, because she doesnt want him to feel left out from the other people IN the wedding- even though my sister isn't getting this kind of offer. I haven't met Derek, as my fiance and I are not living in the same city right now. However, I feel uncomfortable with her wanting to have him IN our wedding, not only because of the way she had felt about him, but more so the way it caused her to react to her own feelings.
I have no problem with him attending the wedding, being her friend, whatever. I dont see myself as being the overly jealous type. But WIBTA if I tell her that I don't want him to be a part of the wedding?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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DkoK2zGvw0brnxv2tA0aiUMaXpX5HUqq
|
asuqqz
|
{
"description": "dumping my bf for while his dad is sick",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for dumping my bf for while his dad is sick?
|
Our relationship had been bad for a long time: no sex for two years, he is gone for work for months at a time and doesn’t write/call, we don’t talk about anything substantial because he thinks talking about day to day stuff is a waste of time and everything else gives him anxiety. He also used me like a credit card, borrowing thousands of dollars and letting me buy all the groceries, but eventually paying me back when he worked.
This last time he was gone longer than usual because his dad has Alzheimer’s and in that time I met someone else. I didn’t cheat but i spent a lot of time with this guy, telling myself we would just be friends but connecting with him really well. When my boyfriend got home I had an emotional meltdown and dumped him. I just couldn’t stand to continue things and breaking up was way overdue.
For additional context, I was also having issue with my dad at the same time (he was depressed and was threatening self harm) and my boyfriend did not check in on me when I told him about it. Like I told my boyfriend about my dad and I didn’t hear from him in a week, and only because I reached out.
None of my friends think I’m an asshole for the timing, but my ex sure does. I don’t feel guilty for ending it, but I do for the timing.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
5emu393jQnwFuyadnJc19bLGk15FRDS7
|
b5als3
|
{
"description": "getting expelled over a Nerf Gun",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 15
}
|
AITA for Getting Expelled Over a Nerf Gun????
|
Before I begin, I used to go to a private school, however unlike most of the students in the school I was not an oversensitive d-bag, I was just a d-bag. In my first week of my senior year I was looking through old pictures of myself and found one of a 10 year old me holding a bright yellow nerf gun and wearing sunglasses. I thought this was funny so I decided to post it on instagram. However along with the picture I also wrote the caption,
***"You guys are cool, don't come to school tomorrow"***.
This was a popular meme at the time so I didn't think twice about it, cut to two hours later and I'm eating out with some friends when all of a sudden I get a call from my dad saying that the cops had called my mom and were now looking for me.
After I explained to my dad the situation I rushed home and clarified everything to the cops. After looking at the post, they suddenly understood what's going on, they tell me to be careful what to post and left. I felt pretty relieved now considering the cops dismissed the event as a misunderstanding and because I had deleted the post.
There were repercussions from the school like being suspended for 3 days and having a parent teacher meeting, but everything seemed ok. Well, as it turns out, ***the school was livid!*** Apparently someone's parents saw the post and thought it was enough to get the cops involved. The new principal was especially mad saying my behavior was inexcusable and that I was a threat. I was shocked and didn't know how to respond. I was told that they'd make a decision over the weekend, they didn't, but they did accidentally send an email to the entire school (everyone needed a school email to turn in assignments/ check grades), which included private information about myself and my current situation. At this point I was extremely annoyed.
Luckily I knew people who were on the school board, who defended me, because they thought the situation had been dealt with and needed no further punishment. To make a long story short I was expelled due to a vote by the school board. But the story doesn't end there. Because according to my friends, the principal made an announcement claiming the vote to have me expelled was unanimous, which is impossible, because my aunt was on the board and she was really trying to get me to stay. Not only did the principal lie to the school, but he also made a list of people who liked my post and questioned them if they were apart of this **"scandal"**. Obviously I took all the blame, because it was all me, but that couldn't have been enough to expel me in my senior year right? Along with that the principal also made up and exaggerated many aspects and even tried to blame me for stuff I wasn't apart of. IDK maybe I'm completely in the wrong, but it seems like something fishy was going on. What do you think? Was this post enough to completely destroy my HS Senior year experience? AITA???
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
giIxOoRsjXK6eQOivsfGsVadZkuo5W0f
|
9vn3rb
|
{
"description": "not contacting my old friends frequently enough",
"pronormative_score": 5,
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}
|
AITA for not contacting my old friends frequently enough?
|
Okay I’ll try to make this short and sweet. I had two tight knit groups of friends; 1 in high school, and 1 in college - the only person that belonged to both was my best friend and roommate let’s call her T. Last time I got together with my college group for a wedding, I was bombarded by this T friend after a few too many to drink on both parties. All in all she told me how upset everyone was after I had moved states away and hadn’t been contacting anyone like I used to.
I work full time and also have a part time job, the rest of my free time is dedicated to my partner, who truly is my best friend. She explained that all of these things were happening in everyone’s life that I didn’t know about (moving, new schools, one of my friends father has died and I knew nothing about it). Of course I felt terrible, but tried to explain my side.
Things left on poor terms, but I tried to make the effort after that to contact people. T would respond to texts for a few days and then one of us would break it off. The one whose father died hasn’t responded to me at all. I even invited them to come to my home in Tennessee to stay with us, and neither got back to me.
Now I see posts of my college friends - including T - all getting together, and I’m obviously hurt that I haven’t been at all included. We’re all adults now, and I was hoping we would be able to live our lives without being up each other’s asses like we were in high school, but that seems to be landing me with no friends.
Did I bring this on myself, and should deal with my consequences of being a shitty friend? I feel friendless now, as everyone has seemed to shut me out now...
AITA? Should I move on? I realize how petty this is, but I was hoping for some outside advice.
Do people really talk to their friends states away on a weekly basis?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
gRBrl1lKK5bXhF2lbODKOmCNxPA0ZUak
|
ap3mh8
|
{
"description": "not giving my phone",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for not giving my phone?
|
Hello everyone. Last night, me and my bf were in bed and he asked me if I he could use my phone to see some pictures that we took during a trip we made that same day. I shared the photos with him but he insisted that I should give him the phone for no reason. He got mad and we started discussing.
I told him that, even when I don’t have anything to hide, I’ve got some private stuff like my gym progress photos (which I’m embarrased about), messages from close friends (some of them who talk about their private problems) and stuff like that, that I wouldn’t like him to see.
After that, he said that I don’t trust him and he feels like I’m always hiding things. I know that it could be seen bad, but he’s the only one on who I really trust and I tell him everything that I think, feel and want.
It’s not the first time this happens. We had the same talk when I got stolen my bike and bought a new one without waiting for we to go both to the store, or when at my dad’s death 15th anniversary I didn’t replied a message within 2 hours when I was at the cemetery (it’s in another town and he had to work so I went alone).
What do you think? I understand his point, but I’d like to have some different perspective about this. Thanks for reading, and sorry if I’ve got some bad grammar (not my native language).
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
o2mspu3HGDa9TSpCKEGlR42Ax3UGvvej
|
b5st9o
|
{
"description": "quitting a job I hadn't started yet",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA If I quit a job I hadn’t started yet.
|
I interviewed an was hired to be a bartender/manager at a bar that is being built. Now I was hired in the beginning of January under the assumption the bar would be open around Valentine’s Day. I went all of February without contact from the person that hired me until I reached out to them in the beginning of March, and was told it was behind(understandable) and I would be receiving a call the week of March 18th. Well last week came and went and yesterday morning I get a message to “report to <address> at 3 pm on Tuesday March 26th”. I replied asking a ballpark amount of time I would be there and explained I have my son and would need someone to watch them. I received no reply. I have been wrestling with replying now “thanks but no thanks” but I’m not usually that type of person. They have intentions of opening this weekend and I’m assuming do some sort of training this week(haven’t been told about anything besides “reporting” today.)that I won’t be present for anyway since I have a job and was given 23 hours notification that this was starting.
I’m aware that their communication has been terrible and if this is any indication of how things are going to go there I’m thinking I should just run while I can, but WIBTA
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
vFZNmq7kmfsxny4oPfCLRJadIr2i9bLj
|
awcw3c
|
{
"description": "not wanting to take on an almost caretaker role for my brother",
"pronormative_score": 27,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to take on an almost caretaker role for my brother?
|
so for reference, my older brother (m23) and i (f19) haven't really spoken in years. when we were little kids he was really cruel to me, and would constantly call me fat, ugly, disgusting, and tell me i'd be better off dead. there was even a period in time where he refused to eat near me because he thought watching me eat was too disgusting. he would also beat me up, and threaten to kill me sometimes. because of this, him and i haven't really spoken since i was in middle school and i'm pretty okay with that.
however, although he was mean to me, my parents want me to be the one to reconnect with him. he has a learning disability called auditory processing disorder, which basically means he has a hard time understanding what others are saying to him, even if its very simple. because of this, he has a hard time holding down a job and passing classes and that sort of thing. my parents have almost been enablers of this, because they didn't tell him the severity of his disorder until fairly recently, and didn't enroll him with disability services or any sort of therapy for the disorder when he was younger. any time he has done something wrong because of the disorder, they haven't corrected him - they've only just passed it off as "our son's so goofy! he doesn't know any better!".
i'm currently a nursing student, and have always done well academically and that sort of thing. because of that, my parents think that when i'm older and have a job as a nurse i should be the one to take care of him instead of them. like i should have him living with me and be the one to feed him and that sort of thing. AITA for not wanting to do that?
&#x200B;
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 27,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 27,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
N8Wm5mVEaX9R0kyuA8mhySQObbAH0POX
|
9tji7a
|
{
"description": "hiding my parent's divorce from my boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for hiding my [F17] parent's divorce from my boyfriend [M18]
|
My boyfriend and I try to stay as honest with each other as we can be. He's really sensitive about people lying to him. He opens up to me about a lot of problems in his life, and he wants me to do the same. However, I've never really had someone in my life outside my family that I open up to and sometimes I instinctively say "I'm okay" when I'm really not.
About 4 days ago, my mom told me that her and my dad might split up. I'm really close with both of my parents and this hit me pretty hard, so I've been really devastated lately. My mom made me promise to not say anything about it to anyone, but my boyfriend noticed I was sad. He asked me if something was wrong and I said "I'm fine."
Yesterday, I told him what happened between my parents and why I was sad. I was expecting him to be a bit upset that I kept the truth from him but overall try to help me during one of the toughest times of my life. Instead, he got mad and wouldn't stop saying he can't trust me because I lied to him. I don't think it's fair that he's painting this so black and white, but I didn't want to break the promise I made to my mom. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
cYdKS6VvrLffEq0RAt8lhRKKZmuwxwj7
|
b0wm5q
|
{
"description": "not giving my older sister's boyfriend my 'blessing'",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I didn't give my older sister's boyfriend my 'blessing'?
|
I have 4 siblings and I am the second oldest. Our ages are 26, 23, 21, 15, and 13. My sister recently told me her boyfriend is planning to ask my siblings and I for our blessing before he asks our dad. My 21 year old sibling and I told her 'no', and my other siblings didn't really care. Our other siblings don't know this so maybe that's why they don't really care, but the reason we say 'no' is because he has cheated on her 3 times (that we know of) and has beat her to the point where she needed stitches. We suspect she's been beaten more times because of random bruises, but this was the only time she needed/decided to go to the ED. My parents know none of this.
&#x200B;
My sister and her boyfriend have been together for \~5 years? He yells at her when she comes home late after hanging out with US at OUR PARENTS house, doesn't allow her to hang out with her friends (if she does, he has to tag along), doesn't help her care for their animals, never comes to our family gatherings (even before we didn't like him), made them get a shared bank account, didn't help her pay for her tuition which was $600 so she asked me and my boyfriend, cheated on her, beat(s) her, and is an alcoholic who has been trying to sober up since year 2 of their relationship.
&#x200B;
Our parents have been married since forever and have instilled in us what a healthy relationship should look like. My dad has never hit my mom and he treats us all like princesses and a prince. My sister's boyfriend though... The way he treats her is physically and mentally abusive, yet she can't see it or refuses to believe it. I love her so much and I want her to be happy, but I don't want her to marry a "man" who treats her like that. I really can't see myself giving her boyfriend my blessing, but if he makes her happy, then would I be wrong not to?
&#x200B;
&#x200B;
&#x200B;
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
2hR7DYRQW3ZH6KPMfwBia7tNgZdAPdfb
|
b1xsp6
|
{
"description": "breaking up with my girlfriend on our 8 month anniversary",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I broke up with my girlfriend on our 8 month anniversary?
|
So we have been together for 8 months today. And I've had about enough. There have been pranks, pusing me to be religious for her parents to accept me when I have told her I won't be, and just a loss for respect that I've showed her. WIBTA if I did? I can do more background if people need it for a decision.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
ekEbv7OQlOtUmTUdyx0C1EmKEheswxXf
|
army6u
|
{
"description": "not wanting to celebrate my birthday with my family",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to celebrate my birthday with my family
|
Today (2/17) is my birthday and I’m turning 24 but lately life hasn’t quite been going my way. I’ve been struggling with anxiety, depression and addiction and recently started back on medicinal and behavioral therapy. My parents (mom more than dad) have been really supportive through everything but at the same time my mother is incredibly controlling and anxious in her own right and is somewhat of a trigger. Last night I got home from work at midnight and didn’t really fall asleep until 3 and woke up at 6:30 and woke up kinda depressed but I got up and showered anyway before mom took me to church (she makes me go.) We had plans today after I got off work to go to dinner but I realized last night as I lied awake that I don’t want to celebrate my birthday this year, in light of recent events it just doesn’t feel right. That is, I don’t want to go to dinner, so I texted to cancel dinner plans and decided I’d rather stay on campus after I got off to study some with a classmate but I agreed to be home in time for cake. My question is am I the asshole for not wanting to celebrate and go to dinner with them?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
gTqcYw9fYxqw2Ab13gZ5RMcqN9u82bTN
|
9tgpmo
|
{
"description": "being too nosy within a relationship",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being too nosy within a relationship?
|
This is going to sound dumb, but I was best friends with a girl I met online for a long time (and yes, we have met in-person before). We both had feelings for each other but knew that distance was the biggest obstacle, so we stayed silent on the topic and just remained friends.
5 months ago, she called me one night and vented to me on how she’s had a crush on me for so long, going as far as saying that she’s in love with me and that I’m the only guy she has feelings for. However, I was suspicious as I had seen photos of her with another guy she was hanging out with. I asked about him, just so I could make sure that I wasn’t getting in the way between them if they were seeing each other. She told me that they weren’t romantically involved and that he was gay.
She pretty much ghosted me that night for the next 2-3 months, and I could barely could get a hold of her. Whenever I did, she acted very passive towards me and sounded like she didn’t want to talk to me at all. I could say “I love you” at the end of a phone call and she would just hang up on me without saying it back, but she insisted that we were still best friends.
I was on Twitter, and stumbled across her “gay” friend. Apparently, he wasn’t gay at all and they had been together (or at least FWB) from some very revealing tweets he posted about their relationship. Out of shock, I impulsively screen-shotted the evidence and sent it to her asking if she was lying to me this whole time about him. She only responded, “I’m sorry I can’t do this” and blocked me on everything.
I ended up apologizing for being nosy and she apologized for lying to me, and I suggested that we stopped talking to each other. She said that she didn’t want to, and wanted me to give her another chance. I asked if we could talk this whole situation out on the phone, and she told me to give her 10 minutes. She ended up never picking up, and ghosted me again for the next month.
I was obviously fed up and just said “goodbye” anyways since I knew she was going to keep ghosting me. I’m over it now but I just wanted to know, AITA for being too nosy? Or did I do the right thing by confronting her about it?
tl;dr - best friend from LD confesses her feelings for me, but lies to me about not seeing another guy at the time by telling me he’s gay. i find evidence that he’s not gay and that they were seeing each other, and she blocks me on everything
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
YaBHTDqTdbmqIiWospy9Gd6OeXtoU4ks
|
ad38wb
|
{
"description": "being complicit in my father's abuse of his wife and stepdaughter",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being complicit in my father’s abuse of his wife and stepdaughter
|
My father isn’t what you would call a standup guy. He was terrible to me (23F) and my mother when I was a kid and we lived with him, and his newest wife has come to me since she, her teenage daughter, and my father have moved to my city and told me that since she’s married him, he’s fallen back into a lot of the same abusive behaviors that he had when I was a kid and living with him - flying into screaming rages over imagined faults, throwing things at walls, controlling her bank accounts and child support payments, blaming them for events that happened at work, demanding complete silence in the house, grabbing them if his demands aren’t met, etc.
I feel terrible for my stepmother, and for everything she and my stepsister are going through - no one deserves my father. But every time I try and offer my stepmother help (trying to get her connected with people I know are hiring for her skillset in the area so she has her own finances again, offering to put her in touch with a domestic violence advocate I know, etc.) she turns it down. I even sat down with her before they got married and explicitly warned her what type of person my father was. Nothing seems to get through, no matter what lifelines I send her.
The only thing she says she does want me to do is spend more time with them, because she says he’s “better behaved” when I’m around - I think because he knows I have no problems cutting him back out of my life if he doesn’t behave. (I have my own job, life, home, friend group, everything in my city - I was established before they moved here, and there was a solid four year period in my teens where I didn’t speak to him once.)
The issue is: I don’t want to spend more time with them. Every time I have to go out to dinner or the movies or something with them (one of my hard rules about my father is that I’ll only see him in public settings, though he doesn’t know this), it takes a mental toll on me, and frankly a part of me wonders if even those short, infrequent outings are worth it - even though I know me spending time with them helps them. I (selfishly) don’t want to have to put my own recovery at risk to act as a shield for the two of them.
But my stepsister has started developing some worrying tendencies that look a lot like the beginnings of an eating disorder, and she’s gone from a straight-A student to flunking her classes. Not doing anything to protect another kid who’s in the situation that I was once in feels like a pretty goddamn asshole move. People are coming to me for help with an abuser, and I’m doing nothing except accepting a dinner invite once every month or two. Am I the asshole??
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
TMwkBx87bXKwqQGrH7tIB6nfxlsH4wOG
|
b65dp3
|
{
"description": "throwing out my roommates plants",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for throwing out my roommates plants?
|
I currently live in a with 2 other roommates. One of them has been frustrating me with his treatment of communal areas. He has a huge pile of delivery boxes outside his door that he refuses to get rid of. I and my second roommate have talked to him about it, but the boxes remained. When I offered to take them to the trash room for him, he refused. The pile of boxes has been their for 5 months.
He also leaves pots of soup on the stove for days at a time. After it's been sitting out for days with mold visible, I tell him he needs to throw them out and he says he's not done with the food.
The final straw for me was the plants. My roommate kept two plastic plant pots in our windowsill of the kitchen. I think they were originally growing basil but they are now dead and have been for months. Before my roommate left on a trip last week, I brought up the dead plants, requesting he a) throw them out or b) move them into his room since leaves were breaking off onto the counter. He refused. I told him that if the plants were still on the counter when he left for his trip, I'd throw them out.
He left but I didn't throw out the plants. Instead I cleaned the entire apartment including the kitchen. My roommate returned on Saturday night, on Sunday he trashed the kitchen. Tuesday I found his fermenting soup on the stove and mess all over the kitchen and I said "screw it" and chucked the dead plants.
AITA for throwing out my roommates stuff?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
8mOJrNILSoTi7TqqoK3F8W8I0HybrTa1
|
a6mp5p
|
{
"description": "calling the police on my loud neighbour over and over",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
WIBTA for calling the police on my loud neighbour over and over?
|
In the middle of October, my neighbour (directly underneath me) got a new TV and has since then been blaring it at all hours of the day and night (8:30am, 4:00am, 9pm, 11:30am, all day). I'm not able to drown it out even with my white noise on the loudest volume possible, and it's keeping me awake well into the night and driving me absolutely insane through the day.
&#x200B;
After a week or two of the noise, I left a note on her door asking her to turn it down by 1am (since I'm never in bed beforehand and didn't want to be all 'turn it off at 9pm sharp!!!') so I could sleep, which she ignored completely. Then I wrote to the property manager and asked if they could tell her to quiet up, and they've been supportive but haven't actually given her the notice yet. I asked for an email update 3 days ago, and no response. I had guests over last weekend and the noise was keeping them awake past 3AM, so they went downstairs to knock (they're braver than me, I'm too scared of confrontation) and they were completely ignored.
&#x200B;
A few nights ago, I called the nonemergency police line to report noise at about 2am. They came to the house, banged on the door for about 5 minutes and eventually had to yell in her window to get her to listen. They told her the noise was too loud, and that she had to turn it down or next time would be a fine. They left, and she kept it at the exact same volume that night and has every night since.
&#x200B;
I still have no response from the property management company and it's 12:30am and I know it's gonna be another sleepless night. There's music playing and loud gunshot-type sounds from whatever movie she's watching and I'm really tempted to start calling the cops every single night until she cuts the shit out.
&#x200B;
I know this seems pretty in favor of me at the moment but I really, honestly feel awful about the idea of harassing her with the police. Weirdly, she's a really friendly woman to my face. We hung out on Halloween and gave out candy together, and a few days ago she brought me a Christmas card. She seems nice, and I don't want to start problems. I also feel really shitty clogging up police lines every night when they have better things to be doing. I feel like the civilized thing to do is to wait out the calm, professional response from my property manager and wait for their warning. I also feel like I'm a jerk because I'm (and always have been) really really sensitive to noise so it's entirely possible that nobody else would be this bothered by the TV sounds, and I'm being a big over-dramatic crybaby. But oh, man, it's seriously hitting me hard. I feel like ripping my hair out and I've had two or three total meltdowns about the constant noise.
&#x200B;
AITA?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
PqVW3Zak5BttO0TsHED7i23Nn3rWEtyQ
|
b51mv4
|
{
"description": "being upset that I was introduced as the \"friend\" today after facing significant relationship hurdles together",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being upset that I was introduced as the “friend” today after facing significant relationship hurdles together?
|
We both have mental health battles going on (very different). It’s been a journey. Lots of figuring out and trying to understand each other, plenty of happy memories, some tough ones. It certainly had brought us closer together, I thought.
I happened to be at a non-profit event nearby this morning as my boyfriend was clearing his apartment out to move. I stopped by afterwards to say hi and his landlord came by at the same time. This has never happened before but... I was introduced as a “friend”.
To qualify, I don’t find embarrassment or circumstance to be an acceptable reason to misrepresent me or our relationship.
I was noticeably bothered once the landlord left. The only answer I received was that it wasn’t a conscious decision, nor was there any meaning behind it. I find that hard to believe. This has never happened before and he’s never acted in a way to make me think it would.
I did leave without saying goodbye, but I also didn’t say anything hurtful. Refusing calls and texts since.
Am I wrong for being hurt and disappointed, or even considering this an unrecoverable transgression?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
w9pHm5dZUT5ZE87Nxba9H1KAVgb2RFsT
|
b1lrua
|
{
"description": "claiming my friend's girlfriend cheated on him",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for claiming my friend’s girlfriend cheated on him?
|
So I have a friend named John and he has a girlfriend named Kenzie. Not too long ago, Kenzie went to a party composed entirely of her female friends. That next Monday, John was upset with Kenzie because he found out that she had gotten a hicky below her collar bone, and that she had also kissed several of her friends while she was there. We said it was kinda messed up that she did that to him, as that’s a pretty intimate thing.
Kenzie claimed that there was nothing wrong with what she did because she wasn’t gay (as in homosexual, not some sort of insult) and there were no feelings behind the acts. My friends and I (including John) claimed that not only was what she did very gay (as in homosexual, not an insult) but it was technically cheating on John. She doesn’t agree. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
nDY1xLHDxAaTEaBnQ2z3vXwKmAm91aks
|
a6b37y
|
{
"description": "breaking up with my girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
Aita for breaking up with my girlfriend ?
|
Hello everyone, Throw away account because I don't feel comfortable with the idea that people that know me might find my personal problems.
So I have been in a long distance relationship for a year and a half. At first everything went really well but I felt like we were talking less and less which I really did not like. I tried to talk to her about the issue many times as I believe that communication is really important in any relationship but she either ignored me, or told me that she will make some efforts without making any in the end. Note that she was usually just hanging out with friends or alone ( so nothing really important that takes time such as a job or studies), and came back home at night too tired to even send me a message ( which sometimes got me worried ) or reply to mine.
After trying anything that could go through my mind, I had come to the idea that the only way for me to make her realise how much of a big deal it was for me, and how much it hurts me was by breaking up so that it makes her realise it and maybe get her to make some efforts on that. To be honest, at this point I had already tried to adress the issue 8/9 times with no result and was pretty done both physically and morally and were not feeling able to continue like that for too long. I really loved her so I was hoping that she would finally realise but it actually backfired on me.
We have not talked for roughly a week. I was trying to hold my position as it was too late to go back, and was my only remaining option in hope of solving that issue. Came out that she thinks that I'm an asshole that just made out an excuse in order to break up. She accepts to stay friends though ( I had told her when I "broke up" that we could stay friends to add some realism to it. I dont know if this info is needed, Im just trying to be as transparent as possible).
She didnt seem to accept my explanations nor realise how big of a deal it was for me and keeps thinking that I just made up an excuse. However we keep talking the EXACT same way we used to with laughs and telling each others everything ( without the cute and sweet words ) which made me think that nothing is lost and maybe she just needs/wants me to insist ( like testing if I actually care about her or not- note that after asking her, she told me that she missed me aswell and still loves me as much as she used to). I tried for several days, but nothing. So I just got to the point where I got tired and decided to move on and stop insisting, but yet stay friends as I like her as a person and care about her despite not being with her anymore.
However, it came to happen that I once told that I will never be in a relationship again if we ever break up - which is totally dumb and delusionnal but it also is my first relationship( even though I'm 21 ). So in order not to be a lyer I decide to inform her that I moved on and will probably try to get a new gf, and just moved on with the discussion. I didnt mean anything by that except the fact that I have accepted that we now are only friends and that she will never change her mind again. Yet she blamed me for saying that while still claiming yesterday that I loved her.
So let me be clear, I still love her, but I dont see myself waiting for her to change her mind forever. Now she doesn't even want to be friends and thinks that I have never loved her.
Am I the asshole ?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
xj9EmKuAQ6tzfN0PAnfPkCZm1rJ1GdHO
|
atz87p
|
{
"description": "not wanting to play games with a friend",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not wanting to play games with a friend? (short)
|
First time poster, sorry for mobile formatting, blah blah blah
I have a friend who I met IRL and hes a nice person, After a while we actually found out that we both play alot of the same PC games, so I friended him on discord amdnd we started playing together.
I recently got a new switch and wanted to play on it, so I bought Breath Of The Wild and got hooked, I really like the game and its super fun. Unfortunately my friend also wants to play with me and I really dont want to upset him so I keep making up excuses.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 2,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
e50Pg80IVV2iufsyyv1UzWOIhXmhC8Px
|
ajsqir
| null |
WIBTA - If maybe I don't want to be with my disabled spouse
|
I[M27] have been with my partner[F32] for five years, living together for 3. My partner lives with a chronic medical condition, I'm going to be vague about it, but it's characterized by chronic pain and leaves her trapped in a body frail and debilitated. Her condition worsens or improves gradually and not always in an explainable way, generally however, her condition has been getting worse and I'm taking on more of a caregiver role.
I have a lot of frustrations, and they all seem so interconnected it's hard to know where to start. I think that the worst of it is this, that I am never afforded any real opportunity to vent my own frustrations because in the moment, her pain is always worse. I don't know how to type that thought without it sounding so full of resentment, but the truth is, this is factual, her pain is worse, and she does need my help, and whatever frustrations I have are pale second-hand images of her experiences. This is always true.
She experiences insecurity about me, about how could I still love her, and fear that I will leave her. Which is in a real sense an insult to everything I've done for her for so long, but given the circumstances, I've tried to understand. I mean, it's been a sickening and terrifying process to watch someone I love lose their independence and their ability and mobility, obviously to have it happen to one's self is an impetuous for insecurity, I have tried for so long to be understanding, but it's only getting worse.
Basically, any insinuation that I am affected, that this is hard for me too, or that I am not 100% head over heels in love with her at all times is a cataclysm level event. Any time I am anything but a superhuman attendant husband or try to express some sorrow or a grievance of my own it MUST mean I do not love her, and she quickly works herself up to an emotional tantrum that means I have to forget whatever I was trying to talk about to resolve. It is her go to response to me having a problem, immediately have a bigger problem. I don't think this is deliberately manipulative behaviour, at least her emotions are certainly authentic. But it's real.
She's very quick to anger. I try to be as tolerable towards this as I can, but it can be very frustrating for me. What for you or I would be a little discomfort can be torturous for her. To be in severe pain on a constant basis is obviously going to sour someone's mood. But often, her anger gets taken out on me, I suspect, just because I'm there. The mass of emotional anger isn't my fault or maliciously directed at me, but it does manifest through actual issues she has with me and my behaviour. I'm not a perfect partner and there are critiques for her to make or instances where I've hurt her for her to bring up, but it is a fool's errand for me to try and address the words that are being screamed at me, they don't actually correspond to where the anger is coming from. But explaining that anger doesn't mean it isn't real, I still have to endure it.
I said that she's afraid I'll leave her, specifically, she is afraid that I'll find another woman. That I am no longer attracted to her and am actually attracted to [any other woman I interact with]. This is the worst and I do an objectively bad job defending myself from these accusations.
I do a bad job because I can't say what I want, that there is some truth to some of these things she accuses me of. The fact is that the combination of her decreased physical ability and my increasingly intimate involvement in her care has affected my sexual drive and specifically my sexual drive for her. Her condition does present real, severe restrictions on our sex life. I am sexually frustrated. I do daydream about sex with other women. I want to say that these frustrations are reasonable to feel for someone in my situation, that what would be unreasonable would be having sex with other women. But, she could never handle that. If I actually tried to say this...
So I don't. I lie. I hide the porn. I hide my frustrations. If I'm recalling a scene from work, I edit my female co-workers out of the story. If I'm getting screamed at for effectively nothing at all I just let it happen. I just don’t open up to her at all anymore. So she feels neglected, and expresses that through more anger. So I get more distant. It’s like some sort of fucked up emotional feedback loop.
I don't think I can leave her. What would that even look like. I can't abandon her. But I don't think I can keep going like this forever either, getting gradually more bitter and more frustrated with my life. I can't stay with someone out of a sense of obligation. I feel as though any action I take is only going to put her in a worse place and validate her worst fears.
What is the course of action that makes me not the asshole? I don't see it.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 22,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
TmD29ytJWuG0D4BreQdbYxp1eLat3C94
|
b1tza3
|
{
"description": "sticking up for my other \"girl-friends\" while I have a gf",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For sticking up for my other “girl-friends” while I have a Gf?
|
Bit of backstory before I start: GF and I have been dating for 2yr (started near end of freshman year, we’re now juniors). She has tons of guy friends who are constantly trying to do shit with her and she’s always secretive about it. She has also cheated on me twice, both times were within a week and with my 2 best friends at the time but she didn’t tell me until 10 months later because she could argue it was “sooo long ago”. Meanwhile I have been loyal the entire time and only talk to her, my 2 best guy friends, and 2 other “girl-friends” who I’ve known WAY before I even met my GF. Also things have been kinda rough for the last couple of months due to her randomly lashing out on me and calling me names and shit and ignoring me, which I usually just brush off because I can’t really do anything about it.
Now, time for the actual story: I was at this college fair hosted by our school and I was just walking around and chilling with my gf. All the other schools within like 15-30 miles were there. So naturally I saw one of my “girl-friends”, we’ll call her Lauren. At first I wanted to go up and say Hello and whatever but then out of the corner of my eye I caught my GF giving me a look of almost pure hatred. So we (Lauren and I) ended up just smiling at each other and going about our business. I could tell that right after seeing Lauren, my GFs mood did a complete 180 and she was dry and emotionless towards me. Mind you, it was only directed at me because she was fine talking to her other friends and stuff. Anyways, after about 2 hours of just chilling and walking around and me trying to make awkward conversation that ultimately led to no response from her end; she just started going on about how much she hated Lauren and how ugly and gross she is and how she’s annoying (even though she doesn’t talk to her) and just shit like that. To me, I could deal with her being upset at me but it crossed a line when she just started bashing my friend like that (Lauren and I are good friends and nothing more than that, Lauren respects the hell outta my GF). So I stuck up for my friend saying that Lauren has done NOTHING wrong at all. Then she pulled this out of her ass... “Oh yeah, I forgot you two were dating”. I didn’t know what to say after that so I just walked away without saying a word, she followed but we didn’t talk. Now for the past week she’s been threatening to end our relationship over this and saying shit like “you don’t love me and you never have”. AITA that caused this?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
uSLfaH6jpLIuYqk10MMsRlKuBX5NuTIA
|
awxmfc
| null |
AITA: Strip Club
|
My partner and I have been together 7 years next week and have 2 lovely boys aged 4 and 3 months. Last night he went on a night out with a couple of mates and ended up going to a strip club (he went in one last time he went out with this one particular mate too and promised me he never would again after seeing how much he hurt me) ... this time, he paid for a 5 minute private dance. Whilst he was out, I was at home looking after OUR children (our eldest who was poorly) and sorting out our house as we’re due to move soon.. I am so hurt, betrayed, angry with him especially as he knew I was feeling quite insecure about myself after having the baby etc. I just feel so worthless and like I’m not good enough even though he says I am but I don’t see why he’d hurt me for the second time if he really loved me. Am I overreacting?!
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 30,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 33,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
gNOQkPfxhDeZU1lFOBKF9JTHeAuRFhE6
|
ac871m
|
{
"description": "being angry at getting blocked",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for being angry at getting blocked?
|
Nobody really owes anybody anything when you really think about it. I don’t owe my mother a hug when I go visit her. I don’t owe my friends my time and attention. I don’t owe my dog love and affection. But I give it to them anyway, because it makes them happy, it makes me happy, and *it’s the right thing to do.*
So having said that, if my ex from a fairly amicable split decided to message me six months later with a genuine, sincere apology for things he thinks he did wrong, and he made it clear he wasn’t expecting anything from it, I would at least give him the courtesy of telling him how I felt about what he wrote. Because *it’s the right thing to do.*
You know what I wouldn’t do? I wouldn’t ignore them and block them.
I sent a sincere apology to my ex the other, and he blocked me. I didn’t expect anything to come of it, but I at least expected some kind of honest response out of it. I thought he was better than ignoring and blocking. He fucking told me he wanted to be friends *multiple times.* I guess that was a lie he told *multiple times.*
He’s allowed to feel how he feels, I’m not angry over that. But he does NOT get to act like I was the only who pulled shit worth leaving over. Yes I had anxiety attacks, yes I was emotionally a lot to handle at times. But at least I worked on my shit. I sought therapy. I got on medication. I started journaling and meditating and doing things that were good for me because I deserved to be healthy and happy.
Him? He made me feel like shit for having anxiety in the first place. He made me feel like all of our problems were because of me. He never put any effort into the relationship. He ignored my needs. He NEVER ONCE made good on his promises. He promised to help me in making sure my medication wasn’t causing any weird side effects. When it did, he said nothing. He promised to be more present. He didn’t. He promised to fucking *read* some articles I sent him that I thought could help our relationship. He didn’t. And he promised that he would tell me if he ever found himself in a place where he didn’t think he could he in my life in any capacity. He didn’t.
And he knew...he FUCKING KNEW that the one thing I hate more than anything else in a person is being ghosted like that. HE KNEW THAT ABOUT ME, AND HE DID IT ANYWAY. Yes, I pulled some shit that nobody would blame him for walking away from, but SO DID HE. He’s not the only victim here.
And that’s what really fucking gets me. Over the three years we knew each other, I can honestly say that I’m a better person now than I was back then. Much better. I cannot say the same for him. If anything, he got worse.
That said, am I the asshole here? Am I a bad person not worth dating? Anytime I talk about how I feel on reddit, they blame me. Anytime I talk about how I feel to a therapist, they tell me it’s not my fault. And I don’t know why.
So who’s correct? Reddit? Or my therapist? Am I actually the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 0,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
2SLafpxClw0551kDaMlhxG3o91KmMUXW
|
atnaf1
|
{
"description": "thinking my parents scammed me",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for thinking my parents scammed me (and my grandma)?
|
I’ve only been on this subreddit a few times so this post might be weird but anyways...
So my grandma has an old iPhone that I offer to sell for her because it’s only a few generations behind (still fetches generally high price). She agrees to let me keep 25% and the rest goes back to her. A few days later I line up a deal to sell it to a friend of mine and all is good until my parents step up and tell me they need the phone because my sister broke her phone screen. Also if this phone goes to my sister, it would be a substantial upgrade from her current phone in terms of storage. I initially agree, but then they lowball me (they lowball the friend/family price which is already at a considerable loss). I deny the first offer they make and shit starts to hit the fan. They hold stuff above my head that they bought for me as a kid and all that, but I maintain my stance that this is for my grandma and the phone isn’t even mine. I also offer them a few options of my personal iPhone collection they could use for her instead but they’re not having it. They then proceed to guilt trip granny into giving them the phone for free because they “need” it so bad and she tells them to pay my 25% since I spoke up about it first (keep in mind that sisters phone still works fine but just cracked screen and low storage). They reluctantly pay me and I hand the phone over, and at this point they cut my grandma entirely out of the deal (which I still feel bad about but I’m in a financial bind right now and grandma knows it).
At this point my parent are attempting to activate the phone for the network they on but have no luck. I look at the phone and realize it needs to be unlocked from the previous network. Call ATT, unlock code, Bada bing bada boom, done. I give the phone back and they try to activate it again but there are apparently network inconsistencies between ATT and other phone services, so company 2 denies the activation.
Now my parents do a 180 and sell the phone for the full price I could have gotten for it and more on eBay, and as of writing this they are mailing the phone to this guy out of state for a high balled price (I warned them this is probably a scam but let’s assume this is legit) so they can buy my sister an even bigger upgrade.
Side note: She broke her phone screen twice. The first was repaired but not the second. She also doesn’t know what a phone case is apparently
So am I the asshole for thinking my parents are spoiling my sister and scamming my grandma?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 5,
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|
OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
yfvnikSzz7l67GjOTkF3jdqo0E9iwGh2
|
a4kkr8
|
{
"description": "telling a friend, that I don't really like talking with them anymore",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For telling a friend, that I don't really like talking with them anymore.
|
I have a really good friend. We are both in university now and live quite far away from each other, so we mainly just write messages. The thing is, that they kinda despise everything I'm passionate about. If I mention anything, I'd get either no real reply or just something about how it isn't relevant anyway. Also if I try to open up about myself, I always just get to hear, that I think about things too much. We also never have deep conversations in general. Even though we know each other for almost 3 years, they are still pretty one dimensional to me.
On the other hand they are really kind and actually make me feel liked. Last year I even got a hand made advent calendar.
A couple of weeks ago, they just jokingly teased me for not writing anything that day and I replied, that I kinda don't know what to write and that I feel like being sort of an entertainer to them, only having meaningless conversations (that I actually really hate...).
We are kinda in a fight since then and I do feel bad for saying this. On the other hand I really don't like how this friendship is developing and I would like that to change.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
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|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
af4mvZg0tCrhAwDi4ERFKMJZ8PFUAJqS
|
9wht90
|
{
"description": "wanting nothing to do with my aunt after she was disgracefully rude at my grandmothers funeral",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting nothing to do with my aunt after she was disgracefully rude at my grandmothers funeral?
|
My paternal grandmother died this summer. Two of her kids live hours away. They also have teenaged children. For the last few years, Grandma's health was in decline. She wasn't in much physical pain, but she was certainly limited in what she could and couldn't do. My Dad visited her everyday. This started after I went to college also hours away. When I'd visit, I'd offer to go see Grandma and help out so Dad could take a break. Dad insisted I go there with him and "just visit with Grandma". I did. This continued even after I moved back in with them to recover from an extensive surgery. When I could drive again, I took Grandma to a few errands locally and occasionally to lunch. Dad still attended her doctors appointments. My mother (to whom he's still married and lives with) would also volunteer to help Grandma out. I'm told she would plan to take Grandma to the doctors on days she was off work, but Dad took a day off anyway and insisted only he and Grandma go. This was the pattern for a few years.
One day, I had to be in my Aunt Cheryl's town and she and I spent some together. We talked about Grandma and she confirmed what I had always suspected. She had offered to come and visit a few times, but Dad insisted she stay home with her family. He said he could take on the bulk of it because his only child (me) was out of the house. When Grandma was feeling up to traveling she'd stay with them once a week every so often. Her kids would still need her. I know that all of her kids would call at least once a day and usually would video chat as well.
So this summer. Grandma passed. It was sad for us all. All of her children were with her at her deathbed and she saw them all during her final days in which she was conscious. At her funeral, my half-sister (maternal) left in the middle. Out (maternal) aunt "Heidi" was watching her infant son and she was going back so Heidi could attend the funeral. I went with her to Heidi's house so we could stop on the way and get something from my parents house.
I should preface this by saying that Heidi and I have had problems for a while now. Heidi is white trash and a complete asshole. She bosses my mother around and is an all around unpleasant person. I wish my sister wouldn't use her for childcare, but I'm told the arrangement will end soon. Anyway, as Heidi, her husband and I were on our way back I told her how the funeral was going who was there... Heidi made the gem of a comment "If only her kids cared enough to see her while she was alive" she also called them "vultures" for going through Grandma's jewelry too soon. I wanted to spit in her face, but we were arriving to the funeral so I held it in.
Afterwards I told my mother that I want nothing to do with Heidi until she apologizes. Heidi has done some shitty things in her life, but to insult my grandmothers children at her funeral (or on the way, for a point at me being the asshole, we were in her car in the road and no one else would hear) is my limit. Unless Heidi apologizes, she's out of my life. I told Mom that if I see Heidi when I go to visit I don't care what time it is or what the weather, I'm getting my things, getting in my car and driving home. The holidays are coming and I'm reiterating to my mother, I don't care if it's my nephews first holiday season, I see Heidi, I'm out. My mom has always kowtowed to her siblings and I know this is causing her stress. She's insisting that Heidi was kind to my Grandma in life and spent time with her while she was sick. I've told my sister this as well, my sister made similar disgusting comments. I've told her off. I'm giving my sister leeway due to stress from raising a baby. I intend to keep up on my promise. I haven't told my Dad what Heidi said or my ultimatum.
tl;dr:
- Aunt insulted my grandmothers children on her way to her funeral
- Aunt and grandmother are on different branches of the family and unrelated
- My mother insists that my aunt spent time with Grandma while she was sick and they were friendly while Grandma was alive
- The insult was uncalled for and blaming them for making choices in a hard time
- If I see Heidi while vising my parents I'm leaving
- My mother won't acknowledge what Heidi said was wrong and is stressed that I'm causing a rift
I feel it necessary to close by saying, I will never be violent with Heidi. She isn't worth jail time. I may insult her loudly but overall I jsut want to never see her again.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 2,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
yQDEc8hqk8GtMLo93dFyLZSFkqFDuq46
|
b013kq
|
{
"description": "being annoyed by my boyfriend's constant desire to be kissed and touched",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for being annoyed by my boyfriend's constant desire to be kissed and touched?
|
**posted elsewhere last night. Getting more opinions**
Basically the title, but here's some extra info:
- whenever we see each other, he won't leave until at least 12am (and won't let me leave until then either if I'm at his place). Even weeknights. I work 9-5 while he is a student.
- he bought me a game for his console, not mine, so I can't play it at home.
- no matter what I'm doing, he wants kisses *all the time*. Middle of a timed level? Kiss. Spooning with my back towards him? Kiss. Driving? Kiss. At least for that one he waits for red lights. If I say no, he pouts and tries again 30 seconds later.
- we have broken up on two different occasions. The first time (lasting a little over one year) was because he was super clingy and wanted all of my spare time, but didn't want to do any of my preferred activities, and the second (lasting 9 months) was because he allowed his friends and family to treat me like shit.
- start to finish we've been together for 4 years if you don't subtract the breakups.
- experience has shown that he doesn't respond to gentle requests (ie "please go home so I can go to bed; I'm really tired" or "please don't try to kiss me now, I'm trying to finish this level"). He only listens when I get frustrated enough to yell, and then he complies, but nearly in tears.
I do love him. But I'm horribly annoyed by this behaviour. AITA for being annoyed?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 4,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
FFbPDLDcDCeKng8bQOgTPRcAxXLbW28U
|
b9ermy
|
{
"description": "alerting an old friend's pregnant fiancé about my old friend's possible heroin addiction",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA if I alert an old friend’s pregnant fiancé about my old friend’s possible heroin addiction?
|
(Thowaway)
Around 2 years ago an old friend of mine (called T here) became addicted to heroin. Although I knew they were using various recreational drugs for many years prior, I didn’t realize the degree until their heroin addiction was leaked to me by T’s colleague, who needed immediate help bringing T to rehab / family. T’s colleague warned me that T would deny being on heroin, which they did on the day they I took T to the airport.
Rehab was in different state and my contact with T has been sparse. I’m not sure how much rehab or therapy was actually attended. I’ve had mainly digital contact with T since their relocation, during which T has said they’ve been doing better, although avoiding being open about details. Others that have interacted more closely with T have said otherwise, siting drug related behavior and other illegal activities. My trust and general feeling of friendship with T have really declined to say the least.
Recently, T contacted me to tell me that they are engaged and their SO is pregnant, acting as if the only thing to discuss is how I could best attend the wedding. I feel this is a red flag, and am worried that T has glossed over their addiction with their SO and may be using the situation for personal gain with no real regard for their SO or child.
I want to confront T and get their word that this is not the case, but I’m not sure how I’ll be able to be sure of anything over phone/digital communication. I’ve started to think that the best thing to do is tell their SO (who I have never met) about what I know in case the SO has been lied to. I want to do this for the safety of the SO and the pregnancy primarily, but do not want to destroy T and SO’s relationship if it is actually a good and honest one. What is my responsibility here? AITA for thinking I should intervene?
**TLDR** not sure if I will be saving someone + a possible newborn from a marriage with a heroin addict or ruining a marriage.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
WRONG
|
jnSGyVYLAbuSgBgHclt3yQNGg9St6xRL
|
b7hu9u
|
{
"description": "snitching on my friend",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA snitching on my friend ?
|
Here’s the story. My [22M] close friend [22M] got a girlfriend [22F] about two years ago.
Initially I was not too keen of their relationship because I thought our friendship between would affected.
But, over time she became one of my closest friends too. She is a overall a cool and good-natured person.
My friend has been cheating on her for the past 6 months. Initially, I tried my best to ignore it because it’s none of my business.
But I felt extremely sorry for his girlfriend who was being made a fool of.
I told him what he’s doing isn’t fair to her and to break it off with her or the girl he’s cheating on her with. He simply shrugged it off.
I told him I’ll tell her if he continues this behavior so he pleaded for me not to while he tries to sort things out. He didn’t.
Infidelity is one of my trigger points. I can’t stand it because my mom cheated on my dad for years.
I felt extremely bad for his now ex-girlfriend, so I broke the news to her. She thanked me although she was slightly upset I withheld
this information from her for 6 months.
As expected, my friend is livid. He claims I broke the “bro code” by telling on him. He even accused me of wanting
her for myself which I don’t.
AITA here ? Should I have really ignored it since it probably was none of my business anyway ?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
sWAjlhs1W6iXf0bEcBkyny6YeNxDTKiV
|
abnezc
|
{
"description": "cutting off siblings of a recently deceased close friend due to their behavior",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for cutting off siblings of a recently deceased close friend due to their behavior?
|
Sorry, first time poster here, formatting, etc. (Maybe a little too long backstory?)
So, as the title states, my extremely close friend of 13 years recently passed due to a school shooting, where she was specifically targeted by her ex. She had multiple other siblings, most of which are... A little overwhelming to say the least.
She was the only one out of them that her mother could rely on to take care of the little ones, because her older sibling was/is taking drugs at school/a complete asshole to the other siblings and parents. The next youngest sibling after her is attention needy and is verbally toxic, and won't accept anybody else's opinion unless they agree with him. The others are incredibly immature for their age (even before the shooting) and are physical with guests and visitors to the point of insanity (constantly hitting, biting, etc.)
After the shooting, their family and mine became incredibly close because of the circumstances, but when it came time to have friends, see movies, etc. I wanted nothing to do with them, because of how they acted and were talking in public. They were openly arguing with parents/cussing them out in front of others/being dicks in general, and yet my family still continued to entertain them because "they're going through a tough time, they need all the support and love they can get".
It continued to piss me off when the siblings repeatedly asked for food (bought from restaurants) when we mentioned we were going, and my mother would never deny them, reinforcing this behavior. It got to the point where they were invading me and my siblings social plans with friends, all because they heard from others that we were doing activities/events. Still, I was forced to go along with it and my day would then be ruined, because of the way they acted towards my friends/relatives.
Now, it's been a few months since the incident, but they're continuing to be this way, and I finally put my foot down. I told them they couldn't act this way around my friends, because my friends would be miserable but bear it for the sake of my friendship with them, and I would be miserable as well. I still would see them/talk to their family, but they absolutely could not act like entitled little pricks who used the death of their sister to get unnecessary things like clothes/gifts/etc. (No, they weren't poor and they had a constant supply of food/clothes/shelter).
AITA for doing this? I know that they needed somebody to talk to, be there for them, and comfort them during their time of loss, but them throwing the death of my best friend back in my face every time they want a new jacket is heartbreaking and infuriating. I've talked to other friends who also talk to this family, and they seem to be having the same problem.
Again, sorry for rambling. This has been going on for months and I'm sick and tired of people using deaths as an excuse for personal benefit.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
YlHhEClkephLNYqYG4NR7gLuRXPtJddp
|
am8i7i
|
{
"description": "making a REALLY dark joke in my head about my friend",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for making a REALLY dark joke in my head about my friend
|
Context: My freind lets call him Boi was depressed, tried to commit suicide but is completely better now. (Don't you love puberty)
Me and my friends were just hanging out with eatch other making fun of eatchother as usual, then he said somethong along the lines of "kys" in a more joking way. Then I thought "you should talk" in my head. I said jeez I thought of something super dark and I wouldn't say it. Afterwords they kept saying stuff like, "come on its fine, just say it, etc." Over and over again, I eventually caved in and told them, they were like, "What the F***" and stuff lile that.
MONTHS later they brought it up again then we had in argument about of theu were in the wrong about pressering me or I was for caving in and saying it. I then left the game (we were playing on our ps4s) because I was dealing with lots of stress lately with family issues and didn't want to deal with this kind of bs.
TL;DR
I made up a really dark joke about my friend I didn't want to say it they pressured me to say otand months later ask me about it, we then argue.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
MM6rYgVR2ZgSrWwaQ1H9zk5oVLRpIRd1
|
a5v7lx
|
{
"description": "taking husband's sex doll to the trash",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 125
}
|
AITA for taking husband’s sex doll to the trash?
|
I’ve been married for a year. My husband has had this damn doll since before we even met. For those that aren’t aware, there are lifelike dolls made for purchase. It is freakishly similar to a real woman. It was very hard for me to even lift the thing on my own to take it to the dump, but I did manage!
I generally try my best not to kink shame anyone because everyone has preferences. But my husband’s...interactions...with this thing have always gotten under my skin. I almost feel like he’s having an affair, as stupid as that may sound.
He said there was a time when he was having sex with it almost daily. When we began dating/being intimate he cut it down to once or twice a week (or so he claims).
I have tried to talk to him about how this makes me feel. He always brings it back to the fact that I have dildos and vibrators, so what’s the difference? Well, they don’t have FACES for one!
This week I guess I just snapped. While my husband was still at work I hauled the thing to my town dump. He was pissed when he got home, obviously. I don’t know he exact cost, but I think he said before that he paid a few thousand dollars for it. Despite that, I can’t lie and say I feel guilty. I actually feel a huge sense of relief. (Maybe that in itself makes me the asshole but it is what it is).
My husband actually went to the dump to try to get the doll back, but I guess it was too late. After that he was even more furious and threatened to throw my designer clothes/bags in the trash too. So we had a big fight. Maybe the biggest in our marriage. But if I had to look at that thing one more minute, I think I’d have left him anyway.
Sorry if this post is a bit too weird for people. I can’t really share this story with anyone else for obvious reasons and my husband is still too mad to have a normal conversation with me. So it’s nice to finally get it out and hopefully hear some neutral perspectives.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 113,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 12,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 125
}
|
WRONG
|
QFhe9CHW4mw0EcTVy7oprCp28j2qiDZj
|
b3y6ym
|
{
"description": "not wanting to make the divorce easier for my spouse after infidelity and lies about money from them",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to make the divorce easier for my spouse after infidelity and lies about money from them?
|
My spouse was extremely good during our marriage, but we had lots of problems at the beginning when i discovered that their recent relationships all ended with cheating and moving on to the new person. It was very hard but we regained the thrust we stayed together for 3 years.
&#x200B;
Now, what i feared at the start happened. My spouse met someone online and it only started as a friendship but there was frequent communication between them behind my back for months. the contact is now permanent (every day several times) and the nature of the relationship is different and there are feelings involved.
&#x200B;
I was asked for the divorce and even tho i wanted to try to fix the marriage i agreed to not contest it just to make things easier and cheaper avoiding courts. But when we were deciding how to split assets (my spouse does not think i deserve anything because earn almost a third of their wage and i did not contribute the same economically) I was lied to and i knew it.
&#x200B;
I invaded their privacy (i know is bad but consider the magnitude of a divorce) to find the truth and that is when i discovered the affair and that there is money that my spouse tried to hide from me. I collected evidence of both things in case we end up in court.
&#x200B;
My partner was great during the whole relationship and i was not great but not bad either. My spouse wants me to stay and help with an uncontested divorce but refuses to be completely honest about the money and keeps permanent contact with the new person despite me asking to stop it until the divorce is finalized.
&#x200B;
AITA for not wanting to facilitate an easy exit for my partner, and either contest the divorce or simply refuse to cooperate and then provide the evidence i have and claim for a ruling from the court about the assets split thing?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 13,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
jgcLkGAK4j7uCS89atWtqMpT6EmYHKtz
|
authz4
|
{
"description": "removing an autistic 10 year old's adminship",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for removing an autistic 10 year old's adminship?
|
Since i dont want this to be *too* long, heres a basic summary.
I play a game with a large community. A good portion of everything is text based.
We have groups where there is the owner (creator) Admins and members.
The group im in is very art focused (for those that know closed species, it was basically one of those)
So this game is linked through facebook, therefore there is technically age restrictions of 13+ because of possible ill content for minors (Major cussing for example)
So this kid was an admin in the group with me, and i had just bought the group for myself since the owner couldnt keep up with it. Since only the owner can do things like addming more admins or removing admins, we kept in touch (since you cant really transfer ownership unless you email the game's support and go through a bunch of stuff)
Anyways, in this group we would host games, mostly text based like Werewolf/Mafia and raffles and such.
In one of out games, the kid joined it, and lost. No biggie, we host tons of games and they can even host their own, as admin. Plus its common to lose since we had 20+ people joining games that are meant to have one winner.
So after this game, the kid attacks a different admin in PM (private messages) yelling at them for betraying their trust by voting them in a game where the more votes=bad.
The admin was harrased for about two days before contacting me with proof in the form of screenshots.
I went over it with the creator and agreed to remove them.
I sent a formal notice so they wouldnt be confused about their removal, and it was basically along the lines of "Your actions were viewed as immature, we were notified of your primate messages attacking people, and we have chosen to remove your adminship. If your behavior changes, you may have a chance to rejoin us."
A day later their mom PMs me about them, saying how it was kinda rude of me to call a 10 year old with autism "immature" because *thats just how kids are*. After i clarified that the adminship she was holding could be on par with a job and providing an analogy about employees harassing customers, she stopped responding.
I did feel a tad guilty, but they deserved a proper punishment for their behavior, right? If left unchecked, people would leave to avoid them (as a few people have told me when they left claiming the group was "toxic" despite *almost* everyone being really friendly.) and the group would just die, causing their adminship to be pointless. Kid or not, they need to be responsible if in a position of any kind of leadership. Or maybe thats just me.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
QoVqYfNyRmo1lo37yUhyYE1CKPvHL7On
|
ab2pkg
|
{
"description": "not wanting to share with my roommates",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting to share with my roommates?
|
So, when I moved in to my current place, it was made very clear to me that I was not going to be able to have any space in the fridge or cupboards, I would need to provide my own in a space the landlady provided. There was a somewhat communal water dispenser that the other 3 roommates used and I was not to use it. I had asked about paying for use of it the first day or so I was in the house since the water is awful in the area and was told no, the 3 of them use it and that's it. No problem. I got my own, and have my own internet separate from theirs as the rest of the utilities are included in rent. But everyone pays for their own stuff other than what the other 3 decided to go in together on. Now, my roommates are asking if they can use my water dispenser because they like mine more than theirs, and if they can use my internet because they don't want to pay for a new router now that theirs is acting weird. I don't really want to let them. I know it's probably petty, but am I being an asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 15,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 15,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
YNCFFWb36VEoR1JW2dAHomBFTkCKKMEj
|
aljgz1
|
{
"description": "telling someone they are working too hard for their shitty job",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for telling someone they are working too hard for their shitty job?
|
Stopped by the bagel shop this morning to get bagels for a meeting at work. On the way in, I saw a sign on the door "now hiring immediately for all positions".
I order my dozen bagels and the guy at the counter is super nice and very competent - seems obviously wasted on bagel shop. The shop seems staffed appropriately. What up with that sign then?
While I'm getting my coffee, I hear his colleague tell him that he needs to all for a raise. "How many hours you work this week?"
"95" he says.
I work in an industry that regularly overworks it's people, and I know what 95 hour weeks can do to a person. It breaks them. So I turn around and say "did you just say you've worked 95 hours this week?"
He's a little shamefaced, because customer. "Yeah." Hang dog. Not supposed to let customers see this stuff.
"Dude.... That's... " I paused and look around at this, you know, bagel shop. "If you're gonna work like that, you should at least get a doctorate out of it."
He laughs, but it's the customer's joke laugh.
All day I've felt bad for intimating this hardworking guy's job was shitty. I don't know his circumstances. He could be just out of prison, or own the franchise, or laid off with a new baby at home.
Anyway, am I the asshole I think I am?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
lJiRypXy9RbI6YLHA6c3PDSkIwwhurmB
|
b8pi5w
|
{
"description": "quitting my job indefinitely",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I quit my job indefinitely
|
Some Backstory: Not too long ago, I escaped my abusive parents to live with my boyfriend. We were long distance dating for a while and he wanted to help me get help. I lived in PA while he lived in UT. Well I eventually moved in and across the country with him after we discussed it and in doing this, I was disowned from my entire family. I didn't have a job (I had quit it to move and the move was rather sudden planned on moving in May and I ended up moving 2 months earlier than I planned). So I started volunteering at the local Aquarium to keep me busy as I looked for a job. It had taken me 5 months to find a decent job here in Utah. During that time I was trying but there wasn't much to do in science without a PH.D in academia. He comes from a family of very good means (his mom has fuck you money) and his mother constantly berated me for not having a job and she told him that he should protect himself from being taken advantage of and I should have gotten a temp job in between while looking. He had told me that frankly I didn't need to work, and he wanted me to go to a place where I would be happy. Eventually I found a good job in R&D for a pharma company and we finally started to pull ahead financially from me moving in. He proposed to me about a month ago and we are genuinely happy for one another. I honestly feel as if I am the luckiest girl alive and am greatful for him every day for just coming into my life.
The problem: He recently was offered a significant promotion, which would require us to move to Seattle. His mother lives in Seattle. I don't want to pidgenhole him in his carrier and he would be climbing essentially 4 management positions (from middle management to just below the CFO). I don't think I could bare to have 0 support surrounding me and I have issues making friends due to my childhood (I shut down and don't talk a lot) so I havent made very close friends here in UT. We talked it over and I wouldnt have to work, and can finally persue my goal of going for a PH.D. The only thing I'm worried about is him or his mother thinking I am taking advantage of him. He really is a blessing in my life, he helped me when I really didn't think I was ever going to live past my 30s. I would need to be out of work for a year before I would start school again. And would be applying in December this year for fall 2020. WIBTA if I quit my job to persue a doctorate? I don't want to take advantage of him.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
esNtevKuSrhz2X2WsFfcZ6rBYCC29eVK
|
ba6w9f
|
{
"description": "refusing to wear a dress/skirt to my great grandmother's funeral",
"pronormative_score": 26,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for refusing to wear a dress/skirt to my great grandmother's funeral?
|
Hey all!
My great grandma unfortunately passed away recently. She was LDS, along with many of my extended family members.
I am a trans man, though most of my family think of me as a butch lesbian. Not the problem, I don't really care. The issue comes with chapel dress code. I do not own a dress or a skirt, though my great aunt has made it very clear to my father that all "girls", myself included, must wear a dress or a skirt.
I would be unbelievably uncomfortable if I were forced to wear something like that, and I would rather not go at all than go wearing a dress. Is it selfish of me to stay home? Should I go in a formal button-up and slacks and piss off my own family? Thank you for your judgement and any advice y'all can offer.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 24,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 26,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
3a5YxgnErLrrvdp5KR6Kw9I9Cm4GbUBa
|
a44b1e
|
{
"description": "thinking you can't trust someone and be skeptical at the same time",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for thinking you can't trust someone and be skeptical at the same time?
|
Too long didn't read will be at the bottom.
&#x200B;
To give you all the full story, I have to go back a little and explain some things. I had a friend named Marco, we were close friends. He eventually proposed to a girl whom is a nice and genuine person named (not actually) Heather. Marco had some serious issues (drugs/drinking/lying/etc...). They eventually split up and Marco destroyed every bridge between myself and him. However, I stayed in touch with Heather. Not a lot, but the occaisonal like of the others post on social media. Other than some very short conversations, that was about it.
&#x200B;
Fast forward to about a year ago, I started dating a girl named (not actually) Stephanie. Stephanie left a relation that was going nowhere to start seeing where our relationship could go. She however lived with her ex but re-assured me that there was nothing to worry about. I wasn't happy about it, but I trust her. Over the span of almost a year, Stephanie would get a little jealous of some of the girls who had my attention before we dated. Heather was one of them. I explained who she was (on several occasions when it was brought up). She was a friend of mine, but I had **no** interest in her since she had already been with Marco.
&#x200B;
Fast forward to about a week ago. Heather messaged me out of the blue. She said she was in my state (she does not live here. She came to visit her best friend from my state that she made while living here with her ex-fiance). There was a light show going on and wanted to see if I wanted to join with herself and her best friend. I had nothing else planned and had not seen her in a couple of years in person. I agree'd and told Stephanie about it. She wanted to come along, which I said would be fine.
&#x200B;
The following day (the day of the light show), I spent almost all day answering questions Stephanie had about Heather. Why do I still talk with her? How did I first meet her? How often do we talk? etc... It just kept coming from early in the morning all the way until about 3 or 4pm. It snowed heavily around this time and I did not feel comfortable with my vehicle (which still has summer tires) to drive around. I told both Stephanie and Heather that I couldn't do anything tonight and I will instead be going to a close by friends house and staying the night since I didn't want to risk something happening.
&#x200B;
Stephanie continued the questions and I told her I was getting upset by the constant questions. There was a lack of trust because she thought it was weird that I was friends with my ex-best friends ex-fiance. I told her that it isn't more weird than her still living with her ex (this didn't go over so well). Eventually she calls me while I am running around (to several malls and finally an all year Halloween store for kaliedoscope glasses. She needed them for a school project). I explain that I have been trying to find these damn glasses all morning and just found them after running around for 4 hours on my day off.
&#x200B;
We end up getting into a fight over the phone over the subject of Heather again. I told her it is really upsetting that she doesn't trust me when I give her tons of trust by still living with her ex. She explains that she does trust me. Then I bring up why she would be asking all the questions if she did in fact trust me. She tried explaining that she is skeptical of the situation. I couldn't believe what I heard. I told her that if she is skeptical that she clearly doesn't trust me than. She tries to tell me that she can trust me but be skeptical of what I am saying and what I could be doing without her knowing.
&#x200B;
It ends with us breaking up because she says that she will always be skeptical of everything and everyone. That clearly was not okay with me when I put so much faith and trust in her and have given her literally no reason to fear what I am doing. I have (on multiple occasions) offered to have her look through my phone or any conversations I have with someone to help clear her mind. She refuses every time. Looking back on it, I still feel like I am in the right here. But am I just being biased over my own views and opinions? Or am I the asshole in this situation?
&#x200B;
Clearly neither of us are going to back down from our view points but thats why I wanted to ask you, the people of Reddit. Am I the Asshole? Or was I right to be upset and tell her that you can't trust someone while being skeptical of them at the same time?
&#x200B;
Tl:dr Ex tried telling me she trusts me but is skeptical of me and to me that didn't make any sense.
&#x200B;
&#x200B;
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
GyNJILkx5Sa9etpm1cEJgV7uANp5gmcC
|
b199lp
|
{
"description": "claiming the master bedroom on this trip",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
WIBTA for claiming the master bedroom on this trip
|
So I proposed the idea of going to the beach with a group of friends. I booked the house with my credit card on Air BnB. When I originally booked the trip I had invited 2 couples and the rest were single friends. I also invited one of my best friend (Taylor) but I didn’t invite her boyfriend because he and I had several problems and didn’t get along. Everyone has paid in this trip (no one has paid completely tho except the couples) except one single friend hasn’t Paid at all and things had been better and I’m slightly more inclined to invite my friends boyfriend now if this friend cannot pay up (Let’s call this bf jake) there’s a limited number of beds and Taylor suggested that her and jake share a bed which of course that’s a good idea. However I went back to the booking to draw things out and I realized that I would be left to share the bunk beds, which is fine in theory but honestly I paid for the whole trip with my card and I really want to have the master bedroom (queen bed) and share it with my friend Katie who I also invited, and told me how nervous she was to go as I am her only mutual friend. The other guys would be in the bunk beds too and Idk im just thinking she would feel weird and be anxious if she didn’t have a space space to hang away from people if needed. The bunk beds have a double bed on bottom that Taylor and Jake could sleep in but ugh would I be an ass to put them in it bc they wouldn’t have privacy? I haven’t officially invited Jake but I really think I’m going to.
TLDR I booked a beach house with my friends and I paid for it in full. Friends are paying back. One can’t pay. My friend wants her bf to come take persons place but I don’t want to give the Queen bed to them bc I wanted to share with nervous friend and would rather give the double bed in the shared room with other people.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
KsEq5ndGpYqv0FFvvPfgsCSKRh3vzitq
|
b1fz77
|
{
"description": "trying to avoid my friend",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for trying to avoid my friend
|
So currently I'm in university right now and sharing the room with a friend that I've known since some time back. While she's a decent roommate and all, she has this extremely intense body odour which i cannot stand and it has led to me resenting my initial agreement to share a room with her. I've thought about telling her, but it seems to be very rude and I'm not sure if this is even something that she can change. The odour stays even after she showers, and I've confirmed several times that it is her body odour rather than anything else in the room.
In a few months time I'll be going on an exchange, but she'll be there too. Problem is, it's a small group travelling and the accommodations made only have double beds. She doesn't know anyone else on this trip, which will mean i will have to share the bed with her, which already makes me dread the body odour.
AITA if i want to make this piece of information known to her?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
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