id
stringlengths 32
32
| post_id
stringlengths 6
6
| action
dict | title
stringlengths 4
300
| text
stringlengths 0
10.8k
| post_type
stringclasses 2
values | label_scores
dict | label
stringclasses 5
values | binarized_label_scores
dict | binarized_label
stringclasses 2
values |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
tZqUabr5uGLnnD3Q4QHc5EEEF9cZYtIT
|
a5ygxm
|
{
"description": "giving my friends blanket to an injured woman",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for giving my friends blanket to an injured woman?
|
Yesterday I witnessed an incident where an older woman (at least 65+ years old) slipped on the wet floor outside a fuel station and seriously injure her leg. It was during a massive storm and it was raining hard, which is why the concrete was wet and she slipped. Several people ran to help her and call an ambulance. She was howling in pain and lying on the wet ground trying to hold her injured leg up.
I really wanted to give her something to cover up from the cold and wet, but all I had was a knitted blanket that my friend has lent me. It's a pretty cute little blanket. I decided to run it over to her, and they used it to prop up her leg and shelter her from the incoming rain. She was immediately more comfortable with her leg supported.
Unfortunately I was driving for work and I had to keep going to make a delivery. I asked a gentleman to leave the blanket with staff once the ambulance picked up the woman. I drove off but I was super stressed someone would take the blanket. I made my delivery and then back-tracked 40mins to get the blanket back. Thankfully a staff member had held onto it and gave it back to me. Whew, that was a relief! Good deed done, and blanket returned safely.
When I retold my crazy afternoon to this friend she was not impressed. She only cared that her blanket was returned in perfect condition and was disgusted that I let an injured person use it. She couldn't understand why I wanted to help someone in pain and was totally judging me. "I'm struggling to empathise because I wasn't there" were her words. "Gosh I hate it when people hurt themselves in public and then cry really loud for attention". Like, what? I'm the weirdo because I felt sorry for someone and helped them out? Sorry I used your blanket but I brought it home exactly as it was lent to me, and I even washed it for obvious reasons.
AITA for using something that wasn't mine to help someone?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
jcM9M9pDsvROWZS5ykpl3rx99d15bSOk
|
b7gbc1
|
{
"description": "asking my flatmate to sweep their pubes in the bathroom",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I asked my flatmate to sweep their pubes in the bathroom?
|
Now, I know in a shared bathroom I should expect some hair and some pubes, it's just how it is. But the thing is there are only three people using this bathroom, flatmates A and B, and me. I know the pubes are not mine, or flatmates A's.
Regardless, it's like a pube-nado ran through the bathroom. My feet are often turned into impromptu hobbit feet after visiting. Well that may be a bit of an exaggeration, but my feet are the donut to the 80s bush sprinkles. Gross.
What's even weirder is sometimes it's hair and pubes, but they have all been swept to the centre tile of the bathroom.
WIBTA if I addressed this to flatmate B and asked if they could maybe sweep them? Or am I over reacting and this is just how flatting is?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
loL1PZ75ALcjAEmcPRcJToMQjmW3aYO1
|
9thasf
|
{
"description": "ignoring this girl",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for ignoring this girl?
|
Long story short, there is this girl who has special needs won't stop spamming me, when I respond to her messages she starts and ALWAYS starts saying "hi I check you out, do you check me out?". I made it very clear to her multiple times that I am not looking for a relationship and we could still be friends.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
HjQeIB6C4euxAoJ0QT3aymJKFSBpUUca
|
aiv7nb
|
{
"description": "getting angry at my art teacher",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for getting angry at my art teacher.
|
A while ago I got pretty angry at my art teacher and lately its been popping up in my mind and making me feel horrible.
It was a normal day at school and lately I had been feeling extremely tired and all aound crappy. I decided to go to the bathroom during art class and noticed that I was peeing blood. After that I was starting to get really stressed because I didn't want to have to leave because I didn't want to face my teacher. I knew I had to so I went back and asked if I could go be excused and call someone to pick me up as I was not feeling well.
She really didn't like this.
She started asking me what was wrong and telling her that would be extremely embarrassing so I didn't want too. I told her it was something that I didn't feel comfortable telling her but she said I needed a valid reason. I started to feel really angry because I just needed to leave. I eventually just started to raise my voice without thinking as I was saying I would explain later. I eventually just walked out of class and went to the doctor.
I know she needed a valid reason, so she wouldnt get in trouble if I was skipping and I feel like a dunce now.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
eDVgrvevYvDqWtjcsMqcays8eKH59EBb
|
a2yifm
|
{
"description": "saaying this to my wife's daughter",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for saaying this to my wife's daughter?
|
Im on mobile and english is not mh native language so sorry if something seems odd with my text.
I live with my wife and we share a flat with her daughter (22F).Lets call her D. The girl claims she has depression ,and bipolar disorder. My wife is always trying to help D but she is very rude all the time , shit talking abouy my wife behind her back then comes to her for asking money and to format her essay (????).
D is a college student and learning psychology.My wife has an older son (24M) lets calk him F.We were sitting around a table and played a card game.D was acting like usual ,being rude to ebmverybody ,shit talking .Out of nowhere she stated that she hates to live here because everything transformed and tried to convince F about it.F said nothing changed , except the living room has a new bed. My wife bought it for us.
My wife is always asking me to NOT confront D because she is mentally ill.Party is over and D goes to the living room to write her essay right before the deadline.Me and my wife was talking about someone and D was listening to our conversation.My wife went to the living room and D started yelling about we are talking about her and teaming up against her.
I walked in and heard D is saying things like "This is why i have to move out because everybody hates me.You hate me too and whispering behind my back and you did that several times" . Actually, no. We wasnt talking about D and never whispered about her especially not when shes close to hear it.
I got mad because shes manipulating my wife and tries to force her in a situation what is completely made up. D does this because she doesnt like me because before i came she could host house parties and end could use my wife for any purpose amshe wabted to.
I stepped into D's rambling saying :
"Why do think we was talking about you? And why do you act like we are the cause of you have to move out? If youu want to move out because you dont like us , do not try manipulating us and convience us and other people we hated you out the flat because that is not true"
Thats all i sad and my wife looked at me with a "why did u do that" face. D stormed out of the flat and went to F's college dorm and said him she has to move out what is not true because i havent said that.
Am i the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
IGmzbP166FWPU5dAbax6HeFI9nagpzAJ
|
aatkku
|
{
"description": "standing up at a football game",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 12
}
|
AITA for standing up at a football game?
|
I went to an (American) College Football bowl game today (for non-Americans it's a football game between two teams who normally never play against each other at a neutral site stadium as a reward for a 6 win season, gets the schools more money). And I stand during games at our home stadium, anyways a lady comes up behind me an asks if I can sit down, because she can't see. Our team was on defense so I was standing and yelling. I told her "I'm sorry ma'am I stand during games." Maybe 20 minutes later her husband (boyfriend, idk, they were sitting together) basically yelled "Sit your fatass down!"
They got an usher to come over and ask me to move. I was about to but people around me said they wanted me to stay, I was one of the only people cheering on our team. The usher told me that he couldn't make me sit, but just don't turn around and mouth off at the guy yelling at me. I stood the rest of the game to spite them.
So, am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 11,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 12
}
|
WRONG
|
uV3vnEccdOnQ52l6qANbxgKC4lKjCySq
|
b34mau
|
{
"description": "watching a movie with gay characters with 11-year-old I babysit without asking her parents",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for watching a movie with gay characters with 11-year-old I babysit without asking her parents?
|
The movie is Love, Simon, and there's nothing but one or two kisses in the whole movie. The 11-year-old was the one who brought it up and she was really excited to see it, so I watched it with her. She watches Riverdale and other stuff with gay characters. However, her family is Christian and doesn't agree with gay people. AITA for watching it with her because she wanted to even though we didn't ask her parents?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
kbNrgYZNmDEm6yXLnCKtRPpGqo4K2RuP
|
ay967b
|
{
"description": "telling my wife that upcoming guys night out is still for guys when another wife was invited",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 10
}
|
AITA for telling my wife that upcoming guys night out is still for guys when another wife was invited (but is unable to go)?
|
4 of us have a regular monthly guys night out. We know each other's wives but have never hung out all together.
The 4 of us use group text to communicate. Monday night one of the guys sends the following text message: Hey \[SAM\] why don't you leave your kids with a sitter and invite \[SANDY, sam's wife\] to drink with us."
My wife saw the text and asked me if we were still having guys night out on Friday. I said yes. She asked if it was STILL a guys night out, which should have been a red flag but I'm dumb so I said yes. Turns out she saw the text and went nucking futs.
But in my defense...
Sandy is the only one of our wives that drinks regularly, Sandy and Sam drink together all the time while my wife only drinks socially, I can't remember the last time she had even a glass of wine after dinner...
I knew from offline conversations that Sam's wife has plans for Friday and wouldn't be joining us, so it will in fact be another guys night out...
The 4 of us meet regularly for drinks and it has always been just 4 guys...
We mix English and Spanish when we get together and my wife not only does not speak Spanish, but she gets upset when people at her table speak too much Spanish (or any language she doesn't understand/English)...
I honesty don't think she would have fun with us. In fact, if we're going to spend time together, I'd rather go somewhere just the 2 of us and not to a sports bar to drink with the guys. I tried explaining that to her but she's not having it.
In fact, she's so upset I'm getting the feeling maybe I'm missing something. Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 10,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 10
}
|
WRONG
|
aPFq9n3vNo8pkZ9t40JHp90Oee19OGHp
|
aw67gp
|
{
"description": "getting another engineer kicked off a freelancing project",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting another engineer kicked off a freelancing project?
|
I can't talk much about the project (NDA), I don't want to name the client, or give too much away about the other engineer, so we'll give the engineer the name Bob.
I'm a recently graduated engineer with a passion for what I do. I chose to go to a school that offered me a full ride, despite the school not being known for engineering (it is accredited though). I worked all through college, got into paid internships very early, now I work commercial research and couldn't be happier; but I felt like I could take on more so I started putting in proposals for freelancing jobs. I get put on an interesting project with another engineer, bob, who lives in the same city as the client. So far so good.
Despite living a couple hours from the client, I decide to drive in for the initial meeting, make a good impression. I get there, and Bob greets me at the door of the office instead of the client, and immediately starts talking about himself; primarily about how he graduated from a prestigious tech school nearby. Graduated 5 years ago. Great. We'll call that school tech. I introduce myself with my work experience upon being asked, and talk none about the school I went to, because personally, I think it's more important what you do with your education, not where you get it.
But this is how the meeting pretty much goes for most of the afternoon, me trying to speak about the project, client giving me half an answer or responding with a question just for Bob to interrupt with something along the lines of "well at tech this was how we did this" or "when I was at tech, I learned that you should.." over and over. We aren't even close to the same type of engineering, so eventually I was sick of him trying to pull rank on me. I wasn't there to talk about my Alma mater, I just wanted to tell the client how feasible their ideas were, and how to make them a reality. But Bob just kept on about tech.
About 3/4 through the meeting, I was fed up and finally put down a couple slightly rude comments on the table, along the lines of "Tech isn't going to get this project done, we are." This shut up Bob for the rest of the meeting, excluding questions about the project at hand.
I have some small talk with the client at the end, ask where to get some food nearby, and that's the end of it. Early the next morning, I get a phone call from the client; Bob is no longer being considered for the job and they were wondering if I had any recommendations for a replacement. I've now been working with the client for two weeks with no issues, but that day has bothered me from time to time.
AITA for being rude to Bob? I feel like my rude discourse with him was a large part of why he was taken off the project; but you can't ride on the coattails of your past forever, right?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
8k2LBiUJrpPA5Y9PVDEQjcuZPohIGqCi
|
amjoyb
|
{
"description": "going off on my ex",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for going off on my ex?
|
AITA?
A little backstory first: I (17M) broke up with my ex of around 9 months about 2 weeks ago my feelings had been going away slowly for a while but I still cared about her a great deal and wanted her to be happy so I let her down as easily as I possibly could.
A week later she went to a sports game with a new guy (John) and I’m still in high school so obviously to everyone that was there(I wasn’t) that was a lot of drama and they were blowing up my phone about it and who he was. I didn’t care that she had moved on I was happy for her but one of my oldest friends (grace) knew the guy and she told me he had herpes (this was a joke but I didn’t realize this until she told me later) since I thought he had herpes I texted my ex’s best friend and told her exactly what my friend had told me because I still cared a great deal about my ex and didn’t want her to get a disease that I knew the guy had beforehand and could’ve let her know.
Around 30 minutes later my friend grace told me that John had texted her telling her off Bc she told me He had herpes and that’s when grace told me it was just a joke so I went and apologized to my ex to John and to my ex’s best friend about the misunderstanding. They all go on to make me out to be a shitty dude and just jealous and make a huge deal over this misunderstanding that lasts for days and josh threatens to beat my face in.
Fast forward a week and I’m eating with a couple of friends and my ex, josh and grace come walking by and josh just stares at me then walks away and a little later grace texts me and said he wanted to fight you he has a crowbar in the back of his truck. I guess the only reason he didn’t is because I was with other people. So obviously I’m extremely pissed off from this, I was close to getting my head bashed in with a crowbar over some small childish shit. Josh would’ve done it too I was told he has gotten in fights with crowbars before.
I texted my ex and went off I was and still am angrier than I ever have been in my entire life. she blocked me and I’m glad she did because I probably wouldn’t of been able to stop myself from going off on her since she was defending him for wanting to bash my head in with a crowbar. She’s now calling me a peice of shit and that it’s all my fault. So AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 6,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
8LjD2DENh93GoJDFhBYxQzRJSPlKUezm
|
adio55
|
{
"description": "feeling angry at my gf because of this",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for feeling angry at my gf because of this?
|
This will be the third MONTH I be together with my girlfriend. She's been um... a bit overreacting about my friends. By her logic I should stop talking to other girls that I've been friends with for years. Once a classmate of mine texted me saying "I'm lonely". Gf said that I should've sent her to fu*k off. Which I didn't do. So she started attacking me that I cheat on her and that I lost her trust. By the way she looked inside my massages, since I gave her my pin. Just saying if we are already talking about trust.
She always says that her heart has been broken way too much and has a hard time trusting again but I don't understand why she has to give me these choices when I did nothing against her. She wanted me to choose between a good friend and her. After that I asked her the same saying "if I have to get rid of my best friend you should do the same". Also lately when in or after an argument I sometimes poke her with some sass Like "you lied when you said that you take everything seriously. It's obvious that you can't take me seriously"
I have no idea about what I've done or have not done.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 14,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
zgY2rBYKQ3FdaJb9hDLuIujVLPsHaZSa
|
b0ssd4
|
{
"description": "not paying more than half in bills in a relationship when I make more money",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For not paying more than half in bills in a relationship when I make more money?
|
So back story, I have been with my SO for about 5 years. When we first moved out together, I was paying significantly more than him because I had a full time, average paying job. For example, he paid half of rent, I paid all utilities, food, health insurance, and household items. Red flags started coming up like him complaining about me cooking at home and not buying him takeout, him getting new computers and other things for hobbies, while I was barely affording gas to work.
Fast forward a year, we agreed for him to take on a high risk gig because it was his dream gig. In the end, he was scammed, I ended up taking $4,000 out of my 401K just so we could pay rent and he can buy new clothes for a new job he had to get.
After this I put my foot down and told him he would need to start contributing half. His insurance was costing me $300/month, his eating preferences were costly, and I kept watching him buy expensive things, bass guitar, Mac, new phones, etc.
Now I make about $15,000 more per year and we are still going Dutch. He brought up to me that it’s unfair because I make more money. It’s not money I get to keep though. I’m still paying back student loans (which he doesn’t have), and all those years I couldn’t pay more into them due to paying more for him, and other loans. So AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 14,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
2aXegtu7ZNt1hK9dQdtJnNenxv2B4sZy
|
b4uy0f
|
{
"description": "talking at a normal volume late night if my neighbor is also loud",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for talking at a normal volume late night if my neighbor is also loud?
|
Basically, my significant other and I always end up arguing over the volume of our voices and TV because a couple times now our neighbor (we live in apartments) has pounded on our wall randomly. My s/o always says “shhh” or “turn it down” which irritates the hell out of me because Monday-Friday our neighbor will have some girl over who, as soon as you hear the door close next door, will start moaning super loud to the point where we can hear it two rooms over. Last Wednesday she was screaming “F—- me harder!!” apparently when it was way past midnight.
So in the end I don’t care if I’m speaking at a normal volume or laugh loudly occasionally when the dude next door doesn’t seem to care if he interrupts everyone on the floor with the late night meetups. But my s/o constantly chastises me, gets all self conscious if he thinks we’re being “too loud”, and is all nervous the neighbor will knock again on the wall. I personally don’t see a problem if the same courtesy doesn’t get extended to us and if we’re not even being loud, especially on a Saturday night.
So AITA? Am I being unreasonable or petty? I want to reiterate again that I just listen and speak at a normal volume but I feel like my s/o wants us to speak in library voices and have subtitles on the tv just to avoid our neighbor knocking on the wall or having a bad opinion of us (even though we’ve only seen him like 3 times; never spoken in depth). I can admit that sometimes we or friends we have over can have loud outbursts of laughter or exclaims, but it’s never a constant flow of loudness nor is it a daily occurrence.
Thanks in advance for any feedback/opinions. Yet again our night has ended sourly over a disagreement over this topic, so I hope to get some honest feedback and different points of view!
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
CqzfvOBo4jDjssUWIS07lXFrXg4WdZQp
|
9treay
|
{
"description": "being angry at my boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 169,
"contranormative_score": 41
}
|
AITA for being angry at my boyfriend ?
|
My boyfriend and I have been living together for several months. About a week ago, I had a biking accident which left in pretty rough shape- the worst of it being a broken arm.
My boyfriend has been incredibly supportive- driving me to all of my doctor’s appointments, helping me to get dressed, and generally helping me to do the things that I can’t do with one broken arm.
That being said, he has been making jokes that make me uncomfortable and upset, and I wonder if I’m overreacting.
The first incident was the morning after the accident. He thought it would be funny to throw his used tissue at me, since I obviously couldn’t catch it. In pain and frustrated and exhausted from the events of the past few hours, I reacted by bursting into tears.
He told me I was overreacting and being too sensitive, and I somewhat agreed that it may have been over the top, but 3 days later, he tossed a pair of shorts at me and yelled “catch!!!!” As expected , I was extremely upset, since we had talked about this, and my reaction was again tears.
Later that night he “joked” about how I must not be attracted to him anymore, since we hadn’t had sex in a few days. I explained that I was in a lot of pain, but he persisted, for about 45 minutes of pouting and whining, until I grew severely agitated. He then insisted he was joking, and how he had never met anyone as easily offended as me.
This brings us to last night. We were at a friends house, surrounded by people, when an acquaintance asked what I was doing with my time, since I’m unable to work for the time being. As I was about to answer, my boyfriend jutted in and said, “being a waste of space”.
When I told him later that I was upset by that, he insisted that he was joking, and I shouldn’t be so sensitive.
The truth is, I feel really shitty for being mad at him and upset after all he’s doing to help me out. He had to help me shower the first few days, has helped me with cooking, and has taken me to five doctors appointments this week, not including the night he spent with me in the ER.
So tell me, am I being an ungrateful asshole for harboring anger toward him?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 41,
"OTHER": 165,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 169,
"WRONG": 41
}
|
RIGHT
|
rK1xlEGh4X600bH4EhXRIeVdKdqifSs3
|
ay6vu7
|
{
"description": "telling my friend I won't work on her car unless she pays me",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for telling my friend I won’t work on her car unless she pays me
|
This is kinda long but has important details
TL:DR at the bottom
So I’m decently skilled with cars and engines. I love watching toturials and learning about cars and bikes, I’ve taken a few classes and a very close friend who is a mechanic helps me out with questions or any problems I have. But by no means am I professional.
A lot of my friends when they learn this ask me to do work for them, the times I have they either offer me money upfront or after I do the work they ask how much they owe me. I don’t charge much and could even say I charge a lot less then local shops (I do all this at my house) Also important note. I don’t charge people for referring them to skilled mechanics for certain problems their car has that I can’t fix or don’t have the tools for. Also I don’t charge for looking up pr looking for parts. Never have.
So one friend of mine we’ll call her T (because I’m drinking tea rn) learned about my mechanic skills over last summer. She asked if I could work on her car. I said sure, asked her what the problem was. She wanted her speakers replaced, a total brake job, oil change, oil filter and a few other small things. The speakers are the worst for me because I hate wiring. But we had been friends for a long time so I said sure. I helped her track down all the parts she’d need, and everything came to about 400$ she lowered the proce by buying extremely cheap speakers from China. I told her it would take me about a weekend to do the car because of everything.
I brought up id be charging her for it and she asked rudlet how much? I told her I’d do everything for 200 which in my opinion is really good for everything promised. She got really upset and said her bf wpuld do the speakers. Yet he always made excuses not to. I told her that this was a whole weekend of free time being used and I thought I deserved something for doing it. She tried throwing the we’ve been friends for so long card but I said no. She didn’t talk to me for 2 months.
About a month ago we were hanging out and her front bumper and the front end were MANGLED mostly held together by duct tape. She told me she lost control in a snow storm and hit something. She asked if I could help fix it. I said sure the bumper for her car was mounted by brackets and we could probably get one at a scrap yard or offline. She wanted a scrap yard even though the colors most likley wouldn’t be the same. She also asked me to change her headlights and get new lenses for them. I felt bad and told her I’d do all that for 100$ and even had spare headlights she could use so she didn’t have to buy them. She called that bullshit and left. We’ve barley talked since and she even bad mouthed me for that to my girlfriend.
So AITA should I have done the work at least once for free?
TL:DR Friend wants me to work on her car for free I say no.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
2YyCbXAB4L9bu7ur6Jt3L2NaTAyuxUdT
|
b40iiv
|
{
"description": "not feeding my son dinner the past 3 days",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for not feeding my son dinner the past 3 days
|
NOTE: i am the son in this story.
Context: 3 days ago, my mom calls me out to prepare dinner, but i ask to eat off a smaller bowl instead. my mom went batshit crazy on me and told me that the original bowl my mom is gonna give me is the same size as the “smaller” bowl i ask for. i simply wanted to eat off a small bowl, thats all.
This is short but tell me if i dont give enough info, but if you have enough info to determine whos in the wrong, please answer my question,
AITA or is my mom in the wrong.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 5
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
XksdkjANIMjjbeDRTdy9ujjw9jmKBB3U
|
a1j5q0
|
{
"description": "not attending a Saturday morning work holiday party that was announced 10 days in advance",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not attending a Saturday morning work holiday party that was announced 10 days in advance?
|
So the Wednesday before thanksgiving, I walked out of a staff meeting at 5:00 pm (heading out for the day/holiday) and saw a flyer on my desk that read: “company holiday party Saturday, December 1st, at 11:00 AM. Attendance mandatory.” AITA for 1- thinking a 11 am Saturday morning holiday party is ridiculous and 2 - them only giving 10 days notice for a mandatory weekend event? I don’t actually have any plans, but if I did, wouldn’t it be justified to not show as that’s such little heads up? I immediately went to my boss, who said he wasn’t even aware of the event (we are a small company, less than 40 people) - so AITA if I make up a lie for previous plans and no show?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
NXnYbIpFLsbtHYyeEuG36yPb6gN0Om4V
|
b37eqi
|
{
"description": "breaking up with my long distance girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for breaking up with my long distance girlfriend?
|
We started dating in High School and I'll admit that I pushed for the relationship to continue through college even though it would be long distance. Through the years, there's been a lot of ups and downs, mostly due to not being able to spend that much time together. I started to have doubts over whether or not this is what I wanted but I didn't tell her because I wanted to see how it would be when we were back together in person.
She came home for Spring Break and it was going pretty well until the end. At the beginning of the break, she asked me if I could drive her to the bus station because she wanted as much time with me and of course I told her yes. Three days before I was supposed to drop her off, my mom told me that she didn't want me to use the car because gas is expensive. I knew that her parents had wanted to go see a show because they thought I was taking her but they hadn't bought the tickets yet. I told my girlfriend that I could be in the car with her and her parents to drop her off but she said that wasn't the point. She even offered to pay for the gas but at this point I knew that I didn't want to be with her anymore. She yelled at me over the phone saying that I always promise her things than take it back and that she doesn't want to date someone that does this. She hung up on me after she said this but tried to call me and texted me apologizing and saying that she only said those things because she was upset. I didn't respond to her but finally texted her once saying that it's over. She came over to my house later to see me and cried saying she was sorry but I held my ground. We were in the living room talking for awhile and she said that she wouldn't leave & throw away our 3 year relationship. After a couple hours of talking, I told her that I'd give her one more chance because I knew she wouldn't leave otherwise. That night and the days following, I acted like everything was normal up to the point she got on the bus.
I know that it wasn't the best option but I didn't have any other choice. She knew something was off when I didn't text her throughout the day and when she called me that night, I told her it was over for good. She said that I was a coward for waiting until she was far away and that she couldn't believe I talked about our future/acted normal but I did try to break up with her that night. AITA here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
Zp7JAniSz5kZDA0UJT9tbtVeFD9I9JGU
|
9zryk0
|
{
"description": "not hanging out with my friends",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not hanging out with my friends?
|
Okay, so this is starting to happen quite regularly now.
​
I'm a student at university and I also work part time to support myself so needless to say, my schedule is pretty tight. I try my best to keep a social life and hang out with people. The thing that bothers me is that every time I make arrangements with someone, it doesn't work out and it always follows the same pattern.
​
We decide on a day to go grab a drink or whatever. That day, we text confirming the plans. Few hours before we're supposed to meet, I get a text that they need to meet someone else before (or do something else, whatever) and they are not sure, when the will be free, so we agree that they'll let me know. Radio silence then. I text them a few time asking to let me know if they'll make it and if, give me some estimate to know when to prepare and stuff. No answer.
​
It starts to get kinda late so I get fed up, start watching a movie or do something for school. Then, a response, usually pretty late at night to meet them at \[insert a place that's like a 30 minute subway ride away\]. At that point, I don't feel like going out anymore (and spending money on cabs as public transport sucks after midnight and I live in a pretty big city). I just tell them I won't come. After that, I always get the "we never hang out" and "you can't ALWAYS be busy".
​
I am starting to feel like the asshole as this keeps happening quite often (more often than I'd like). Am I a control freak for expecting people to just take the time out of the day if we agreed on it (or at least let me know not at the last minute)? Am I the asshole for feeling quite angry at the people and not wanting to see them after?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
vTMt4EJUnwRqfZutetgWGcoJikRgWfQt
|
aohzjj
|
{
"description": "confronting a friend after tracking their location and seeing that they lied about being stuck at work and skipping my birthday dinner party",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 13
}
|
WIBTA for confronting a friend after tracking their location and seeing that they lied about being stuck at work and skipping my birthday dinner party?
|
It’s a little long and this is my first time posting here, so bear with me. Also on mobile so sorry for formatting.
TL;DR: my boyfriend’s roommate / best friend lied to me on my birthday about being stuck at work but was actually at his new girl’s place instead of my small dinner party. We discovered this by tracking his phone location.
So my birthday was last night and I threw a super small dinner party for my friends and family. I invited my boyfriend’s roommate (let’s call him X) since I consider him to be a very close friend of mine. On X’s birthday a few months back I went to the super small dinner/drinks at a bar with their friends to celebrate with him.
Another thing that should be known about X is that he meets girls and is super super into them for about a month (like hanging out with them 5-6 nights a week right after meeting them) and then gets bored and ghosts them. Then a week later he meets a new girl who’s the “real deal this time” and the cycle starts over. X is currently 2 weeks into this cycle with a girl who we’ll call W. I haven’t met W yet and my boyfriend has only met her once for about an hour. I did not invite her to my birthday since it was a very small dinner and (again) I haven’t even met her yet and odds are she’ll not be around for much longer.
So I told X about my birthday dinner party last week and he told me he was working at the hospital that day but would come over after. My boyfriend reminded him the night before my birthday of the dinner party the next day and X was still saying he’d come over after work. Again yesterday during the day I text X reminding him of the party at 7pm because he’s notorious for ditching on plans and flaking in general. He said he would try to leave the hospital by 8 but would definitely stop by.
At 7:45pm, I text the address of the party to X. It’s on his way home from the hospital and not more than 10 minutes out of his way. My boyfriend and X have always had their location shared on their phones with each other so my boyfriend randomly decided to check X’s location and see if he had left work yet. Sure enough, X wasn’t at the hospital and was driving. At the exact same time, X texts me back saying: “Honestly don’t think I’m goin to make it, my patient just coded while giving report. Gunna be here a while”. So he straight up lied about being stuck at work and having a patient code. 10 minutes later my boyfriend checks his location again out of curiosity, and sure enough he’s at W’s house.
My dinner party ended up being lovely and fun and I had a great time, but now it’s the next day and my boyfriend and I are pissed at X. We were planning on saying something to him tonight to let him know that we know he lied and it was pretty fucked up to ditch me for his new girl. We understand that he could’ve been exhausted and stressed from a long day at work, but he could’ve been honest with me and not lied about a patient coding and being stuck at work.
Anyway, I was discussing my frustrations with my friends and they don’t think that my boyfriend and I have a right to confront him. They think it’s not right that we tracked his location, and that we invaded his privacy. All in all they don’t think it’s a big deal and we should just let it go. It was his choice if he wanted to come to my party and he wasn’t obligated to go to his roommate’s girlfriend’s party.
So if we confront him, are we the assholes?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 6,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 13
}
|
WRONG
|
7venarplQ4aSnmqZSEv8Ak19l6X37LN8
|
awn7n5
|
{
"description": "reporting a potential dui",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for reporting a potential DUI?
|
This isn’t as clear cut as the title may suggest and is different enough from other DUI reporting stories that I don’t know how to feel.
I’m good friends with some people who often hang out with this guy named “John” (names changed), one of my friend’s brother. To me, John is exactly the kind of person I hate. He’s very successful academically and socially. However, he uses his talents to be just enough of an asshole to get away with everything, meaning no one ever calls him out on his shit and no consequences come from his behavior. He’s untouchable.
Example: John was telling a story once and his dad asked him to repeat something and in front of everyone, John got very snarky with him - claiming if he cared, he would have heard him the first time (this logic still doesn’t make sense to me) and that he shouldn’t have to repeat himself. John is usually this rude to his parents, but his dad was particularly upset from John lashing out at him this time since it was a party in celebration of John’s graduation. No one has ever said anything about this incident to him.
Going back to the AITA scenario, we were having a party for someone’s birthday and John is talking about how surprised he is about his brother, my good friend, is drinking and “not just being boring like he always is” and that he might even make some friends. This is something he usually says about his brother but for some reason, this time it just made me snap. I knew his dumbass would think he would be good to drive home even if he wasn’t. Sure enough, when he decided it was a good time to go, he said he was going to drive back home. As he drove away, I anonymously called the police and reported him for drunk driving. He was pulled over and got in a heap of trouble. As the police started to approach him, he panicked and tried to get away for a second until he became sensible and stopped. He blew a .08 and is getting a DUI. Now there’s a very real possibility that he won’t be able to get into the medical schools he wants to and he is really really upset about it.
Here’s why I’m potentially the bad guy. Although I didn’t encourage him to drive, I didn’t try to stop him. What’s worse is that I didn’t even know if he was that intoxicated. I didn’t see how much he had and I couldn’t tell from his behavior. I just reported him anyway and hoped he’d get in trouble.
I feel kind of bad for what I did, but since I did it anonymously, I don’t have anyone to discuss this with. I just want to hear what other people think. AITA?
P.S: I don’t want to paint John one dimensionally. He can be very nice and from I understand. Since his girlfriend of 2 years hasn’t dumped him yet, he’s probably not too awful to her. My friend has had a lot of good times with John, but he doesn’t like that John puts him down as often as he does.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
WRONG
|
natB04TQZ8HquIOrHSFumeoRB9rd6aIJ
|
ax9zt0
|
{
"description": "believing that my mom is trying to guilt me into pleading the fifth",
"pronormative_score": 70,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for believing that my mom is trying to guilt me into pleading the fifth?
|
Hi there r/AITA, I’m a 14M here. A few days ago, my dad called the police on my mom for assault. In a nutshell, a discussion about money became a fight, and my mom mainly started it but my dad was the one who called. After my dad called, my mom continued it instead of calming down. I witnessed most of the fight as I was trying to get my parents to calm down. My mom came into my brother’s room and told us not to tell the police anything, and later almost broke my brother’s phone because he was recording some parts. When the police came, my mom told them that the punch was accidental. When the police questioned my brother and I, we told them everything we saw and also the fact that our mom wanted to keep everything a secret. They thanked us and made our parents have to stay away from each other for a while.
Two days later, my mom came back and had a private talk with me. My brother and I now have to be witnesses at a trial, and my mom wanted us to plead the fifth. She said that “people usually don’t testify against their moms” and started getting worked up over going to jail. She told me about how people get killed in jail and how I didn’t care about her dying. She also stated that we would have to move since she would be fired from her job if she went to jail. She told me I was taking my dad’s side, and wanted to move out because she didn’t feel loved. She also sounded a bit mad at me for sharing the fact that she didn’t want us to tell the truth and the fact the my brother recorded some scenes. She was proud of us for being truthful earlier, though, so she was sending mixed signals to me imo. AITA for believing that my mom is trying to guilt me into pleading the fifth at the trial?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 70,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 70,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
p0ORMnz6VXDL5iqShuh4Fd3ivBRMUM0y
|
aw7rpq
|
{
"description": "rejecting a girl because she's in a Wheelchair",
"pronormative_score": 113,
"contranormative_score": 298
}
|
AITA For Rejecting A Girl Because She's in a Wheelchair?
|
My friend said she had a single friend that was really cute and asked if I wanted to go on a blind date with her, she shows me face pics of her and she's really pretty. So she gives her friend my number and we start texting we're both 22 and lets call her Sara, after a day or two of texting we meet up for coffee and she gets there before me and messages me saying she's wearing a red top. I look around and the only woman in there wearing a red top is in a wheelchair, I get kinda confused and go up to her and say Sara? She gets excited and I sit down but I'm shocked since I didn't know she's in a wheelchair, I ask her if she wants a drink or something to eat then wait in line and get us coffee and her a croissant. We spoke for like an hour about stuff and how she was born being paraplegic and had some disease but I can't remember it. After about an hour of talking and of that heavy stuff I just flat out told her I didn't know she was in a wheelchair and she said she didn't want my friend who gave me her number to tell me as she wanted me to get to know her personality before I saw her like that. I was annoyed at that and told her that its not gonna work out but I wish her the best in life and she started crying, I just bolted out of there.
​
I almost immediately get a call from my friend and she's cursing me out, calling me a dick, douche, vain etc and that her friend is so pretty and nice I should give her a chance.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 198,
"OTHER": 108,
"EVERYBODY": 100,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 3
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 113,
"WRONG": 298
}
|
WRONG
|
J8YsNcH9S70amPPZdVYNkujyvVr0ukis
|
acq804
|
{
"description": "accidentally abusing my girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for accidentally abusing my girlfriend?
|
My girlfriend and I have been together for about 2.5 years. We have a very healthy relationship, other than one part. She SCREAMS at me over the smallest things. These stories are crucial, I gotta make you understand.
So here are some examples:
​
1. She got mad at me for telling her parents a secret of hers (she smokes weed every now and then), so she belittled me for giving her up.
​
2. We were dancing at my brother’s wedding, and I picked her up (admittedly a little intoxicated) and accidentally let her down too fast, hurting her. She didn’t speak to me for three days.
​
3. Last week I was supposed to participate in a marathon for a work event and got hurt while training before the race. For some reason she was upset, even though it was an accident and I was just running around and sprained my foot.
​
4. Last, but surely not least, I made her my signature brownies that she loves to make all of this up to her. I decided to bake one half with marijuana, one without. I accidentally served her the marijuana half (as well as myself, whoops) and she left our apartment and hasn’t come back. This was last night, and I don’t understand why she’s so upset over me giving her dessert.
​
So today, I apologized for all of it in a text. I said:
\*“I’m never going to give you up, never going to let you down, never gonna run around, and dessert you.”\*
She hasn’t responded. Am I the asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
o88KLug9rybkvSeXQIZWvzbnh1ZX2rf2
|
b6jqfy
|
{
"description": "being upset over our cancelled trip",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA for being upset over our cancelled trip?
|
(Sorry I’m on mobile)
TL;DR at the bottom
So I’m on spring break right now with my younger sister and my dad had planned for us to go away to Indiana for 2 days to do some hiking. Honestly I wasn’t overjoyed with what we were doing but I was pretty exited to go away and do some swimming since we hadn’t gone on vacation in over 3 years.
When we were driving on the express way our car started to have some problems so we pulled over and my dad took a look at it. He decided that it was too dangerous to drive the 2 hour trip so we turned around.
I was a little annoyed but I figured we would just take my moms car and continue the trip, that was not the case.
Whenever we stopped at a ref light the car would turn off and he had to restart it again. When we were about 3 miles from our house, the car completely died and we had to call a tow truck. When we got back my mom told us that we weren’t going on the trip and she canceled the hotel.
I was very mad at my parents and told them why but my dad just snapped back that it wasn’t his fault and I should be thankful we’re okay.
Now yes, the car breaking down wasn’t completely his fault but he never went to get it checked Hereford we went on the road trip like you’re supposed to do. And yes I am thankful that we’re okay but I spent hours packing my bag and loading up the car for nothing. (I also later asked him if he could take my sister and I to Starbucks since he promised to do so on our trip but he yelled at us instead even tho he a) promised, b) could have easily killed us on the express was for going 20mph and c) I asked a few hours after we had gotten home)
So AITA for being upset over our cancelled spring break trip?
TL;DR my family was going on a trip for the first time in 3 years and we had to cancel because our dads car broke down. I complained that we could’ve used my moms car and got yelled at. AITA for being upset?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 9
}
|
WRONG
|
qWPr1N2cxxVB9bUQIaBt78lyyy4ygo7m
|
b9i0nm
|
{
"description": "not responding to any ex girlfriends text when she may have needed a friend most",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not responding to any ex girlfriends text when she may have needed a friend most
|
So I’m gonna keep it anonymous for the sake of her, so let’s call her Gwen.
So Gwen and I dated for about a year until she cheated and I dumped her. The relationship was extremely toxic for me due to her battling with various mental illnesses that caused her to snap at me and physically hurt me occasionally. Me, also suffering from depression and anxiety tried my best to be good but my life was going downhill as a result of this relationship. So here we are, 2 years post the breakup and my mental health is in shambles. I’m currently seeking the help I need from my doctor and a psychiatrist and it’s going quite well. Out of the blue, I received a message from this ex and she had explained she was sexually assisted and she really needs someone she can trust and the only person she trusts is me. I know my mental health isn’t good enough and when I asked my close friend what to do, he explained that I’m not a professional and he doesn’t think I will be good help in the current mental state I’m in. I’ve listened to him and can’t decide if I’ve done the right thing. So reddit, am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
Cgzdi6twxurnmomuFmmck9QGhOfR4ZGV
|
aobql4
|
{
"description": "telling my boyfriend he doesn't need to always correct me or tell me I did something wrong",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling my boyfriend he doesn’t need to always correct me or tell me I did something wrong (in stories)?
|
I feel like because he’s older than me, he thinks he knows more than me. It can get irritating. He takes me literally a lot too, and he gives me these weird semi-lectures/rants when I make jokes.
We were out eating and I was telling him a story of when an old coworker asked me out, the coworker and I are both girls. I had told him about it when it happened, but he forgets things he doesn’t care about.
I told him that she asked me by sliding me a note. He cut me off and rolled his eyes and said that I made it so obvious. I asked him how, and he mimicked me like I just opened the note like it was no big deal, like I made a show of it. At first I thought he was joking because he made this big gesture like I was opening a scroll, but he kind of doubled down that I probably made it obvious. I said no, I put it in my pocket (she didn’t fold the note, she just slid me a paper). He said “oh wow that’s even MORE obvious”. He said that now everyone saw that and probably thought we were hiding something. If he had let me finish my story, he would have known that nobody was around to see. We were alone in the back room, but if she asked me verbally then yes someone would’ve been close enough to hear unless she was creepy and whispered it to me.
I just got annoyed that he not only kept cutting me off, but that yet again **I** did something wrong. This is supposed to be a funny, light-hearted story and yet somehow I’m wrong. Again.
So then he asked me, after a bit of silence, “what did the note say?” I just made a gesture that said “doesn’t matter”.
He asked me what was up, and I told him that I was just bugged because he’s always telling me I do dumb stuff or that I’m wrong. I was just trying to tell him a simple story, but why can’t he just listen to me without giving me advice or ignoring me?
We were silent for the rest of food. In the car, I asked him if he really can’t see what I’m saying. He said no, and started raising his voice. He was saying “I didn’t call you stupid or freaking go YOU’RE WRONG. So no, I’m not going to apologize because I didn’t do anything.” I wasn’t even asking for an apology (he rarely apologizes anyway). I was trying to see his side, and I didn’t even raise my voice.
It was silent again for a while, and then I just said
“I’m not asking for an apology, but can I point out that every time I upset you I apologize? I don’t get to decide what upsets you, and an apol-“
he cut me off. “You want an apology?”
“No, I said-“
“Do you want one?”
“I said-“
“Fine, I’m SORRY.” And then he started playing with his phone. Silent drive home and silent now.
I feel like I’m taking crazy pills. We can’t ever have a decent talk because he always thinks I’m attacking him, and then he feels the need to “well, YOU do this”. I mean I know I can be annoying, but I don’t know what’s my fault and what’s not anymore because everything is always my fault.
AITA? What do I say/do :(
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
5rzAegsrDhajDkowp2PEx8DdBq1xVs4V
|
agv2oh
|
{
"description": "not wanting my girlfriend to draw while I read to her",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 19
}
|
AITAH For not wanting my girlfriend to draw while I read to her
|
So this is not a major issue, but it is something that has come up several times. Sometimes I read to my girlfriend (she is a willing participant and says she enjoys it). However, she is an artist, and she sometimes likes to draw while I read. I am the kind of person who is mildly (ok, maybe mildly is putting it lightly) bothered when people are on their phones during movies and stuff like that (although not to the point of anger or anything, I just don't like it).
Now, having done research into multi tasking I have come to the conclusion that Humans can not focus on more than one thing at once, only switch focuses. If you're just doodling random lines on a sticky note while on the phone that's one thing, you're not really paying attention to what your drawing, but if you were painting, or composing a more complicated peice, or sketching something, I feel that your attention to whoever is talking is greatly diminished and you are now being a passive listener rather than an engaged and active participant in what is being said. A person who focuses on the teacher and what they are saying is much more likely to remember what was taught than a person who was drawing during class.
There is a key difference between her family and mine. In our family, when everyone is watching a movie, everyone has devices off, the lights are off, (at least for the most part, there are exceptions of course) and everyone watches the movie, it's a family activity we all participate in. In her family, when they watch a movie the lights are on, half of them are knitting, and there's almost always a bit of chatting going on. I have gotten fairly used to this, but I tend to not see the point in watching a movie if you're not paying attention to it and at that point would rather have it off as it feels like the TV is just their to provide something to look at because of a lack of attention span.
So that explained, the main conflict is simple. I feel that when I am reading to her and she is drawing that she is a passive listener and not engaged in the story and characters and whatnot, is more concerned with her drawing, and so I feel ignored and slightly disrespected and feel like I'm more there to keep her ears busy than for her to actually hear the story. Whenever I mention this she gets upset that I want her to stop drawing and pay attention, I would rather just not read if that's what she is doing. AITAH for this and should I just suck it up? And would I be TAH if I decided to stop reading to her altogether of she isn't willing to "pay attention"? (BTW, she counters that drawing does not affect her ability to listen and pay attention to the story, I believe she's wrong and only THINKS she can)
Sidenote: she's already stopped knitting while we watch TV when it's just the two of us doing it together as an activity because she knows it annoys me, and sometimes I feel bad about that and wonder if I should tell her she can knit if she wants even though it bothers me and makes me feel like we are doing two different things instead of one thing together (although it's tv, so should I really care? You tell me)
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 19,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 19
}
|
WRONG
|
R5OUe5vD9WUAzhUlbhhjX2FUxVE3jcRi
|
b64p65
|
{
"description": "avoiding one of my gf's dogs because I think it has pink eye",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for avoiding one of my gf's dogs because I think it has pink eye
|
I notice the dog yesterday because she couldn't fully close one of her eyes upon closer inspection the eye was bloodshot and throughout the day I saw her trying to scratch/itch her eye on the floor and blankets. I've had pink eye before so I'm avoiding all contact except petting her, while my gf is hugging her letting the dog lick here etc. I told her that she could risk getting pink eye
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
vtUXrLuNi9PlAYRimlRSXX94bUbF2afc
|
b5jdwq
|
{
"description": "telling my girlfriend that we're done if she doesn't want another kid in the future",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 44
}
|
AITA for telling my girlfriend that we’re done if she doesn’t want another kid in the future?
|
obligatory throwaway because friends know my real account.
background: I’m 28 with no kids. My girlfriend is 26 and has an 8 year old son from her previous relationship. She was with the guy since they were kids but when she got pregnant, he dropped the ball. She had it pretty hard during the early years and it was a huge struggle for her to balance work, school and her son. She made it work and is now in law school. (The kid’s dad made a change about three years back when his own father died and has since been helping.) We’ve been together for a year and two months and I really do love her.
However when we first got together she did mention that she doesn’t see herself having other kids because it was incredibly hard, she values her time alone when her kid is away, and she wants to travel with her son being that he’s bigger now. Also that she has a school-age kid and doesn’t want to start over with an infant. We were too early for me to complain about it or try to change her mind. It wasn’t bought up again for some time.
Fast forward to last night, we were watching something and I mentioned that my coworker has left work to have her fourth kid. She said that she couldn’t imagine having that many kids. I got a little offended being that my parents had 5. She told me that that’s what worked for my parents, but it wouldn’t work for her. I asked why and she listed the reasons above and that 4 kids is “just excessive.” I tried to reason it down to 3 or even 2. She said she doesn’t want any children but her son.
The way I see it, the only reason it was so hard was because of her age when she first had him. My logic is that any future children we produce will be secure and she won’t be alone or have to struggle. for background, I have 4 siblings while she has one sister who lives in another state. She doesn’t understand how important siblings are. I told her if she’s unwilling to have even one child for me in the future then we’re done. She agreed and said we’re done then and I’m incredibly hurt.
This is a hill she’s willing to die on. She’s super smart, but so hard headed. No matter what I said all night, she wouldn’t hear it or budge her views at all. I’m hurt because I made the empty threat and she very easily went through with it. I’m not feeling valued at all. I love this woman and the thought of us having an expiration date kills me. I want to marry her and have kids with her and she’s just uninterested. She also said I was being an asshole and not taking her experiences into account when I totally am! I acknowledge how hard it was for her which is why I think she would have a totally different experience if she tried again. She’s not 18 anymore and will have me by her side.
I want her back but don’t know what to say. She seemed very certain when she agreed to the breakup.
Please tell me AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 41,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 7,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 44
}
|
WRONG
|
1tnrI1VugWGv6zCczCYYjhm5O06jJbSQ
|
b9sa5g
|
{
"description": "having friends over two days after my grandpa's surgery",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I had friends over two days after my grandpa’s surgery?
|
I feel like I would be the asshole so I’ve already cancelled but I’m hoping against hope.
First I’ll go over what the living conditions are like.
We have a two-story house. Upstairs I have two rooms (my bedroom and a second bedroom that I’ve turned into “my living room” + a bathroom) I have the upstairs to myself and stay up there most days.
My grandparents live downstairs. When my friends come over they often see them once when they first come in (because to get upstairs you have to go through the living room) but then they don’t see them after that until they leave.
So on Tuesday my grandfather was hospitalized with an aortic aneurysm. He is set for surgery later today, and I’m not sure when he’ll be home. On Sunday I generally have a DnD game. So I was wondering if I should cancel or not. On one hand, I want him to be comfortable when he does get home and not have a bunch of random people running around upstairs & possibly stressing him out, but on the other we’ll be upstairs so I’m not sure if it’d matter.
It’d only be three extra people so it’s not like I’m throwing a party.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
UHKkLLB6ycPS9TPjpaWeCcqpyX0A5SqY
|
agsc5k
|
{
"description": "moving to the other side of the world mainly to be closer to a girl I like",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for moving to the other side of the world mainly to be closer to a girl I like?
|
So I've got a job and living arrangements all squared away in a country far distant to my own and I'm pretty excited about it. However, my reasons for doing so are admittedly somewhat... shallow (if that's the right word). The truth is that it's (mostly) because I want to be in closer proximity to a girl that I have a huge crush on. We went to college together and were pretty good friends. I was always really into her but never acted on it. Clearly I'm still hoping that it's still a possibility.
I revealed this information to another female acquaintance recently, and she sort of lost her shit. Like, screaming. She told me I was being a huge creep, and, yes, an asshole, and that I should just leave this person alone and get on with my life. Naturally I got super defensive and dug in about it. But I'm not sure that she isn't right.
tl;dr Uprooting my life and moving to a new country to maybe have a shot with a girl I like. Friend thinks that's a creepy reason and a surefire trait of an asshole. Is she right?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
zcoOQzhENYnff5B7TxQBreqAaoCqIjMp
|
aldxo5
|
{
"description": "wanting my sister to visit me while she was in town for a funeral",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for wanting my sister to visit me while she was in town for a funeral?
|
Back Story:
My sister moved to another state 7 hours’ drive away 4 years ago. Before that she lived in the same city as me. We were very close and saw each other often. She was my best friend. After she moved I visited her as often as I could- 2 or 3 times per year. Things were still good, we texted and called on a regular basis. 2 years ago we started drifting apart due to what I believe is postpartum depression on her end. I would call and text, but her replies were few and far between. In that time I was only able to visit once. She never once in 4 years made the trip to see me. She couldn’t even be bothered to wish me a happy birthday on Facebook. Despite all this, I still considered us close.
Now for the real story: 4 months ago my sister was in town for her husband’s grandmother’s funeral. I just so happened to text her while they were driving in and she told me they were on their way. We texted back and forth a little bit catching up and I asked if she could text me if she got any free time so we could meet up for breakfast or whatever. I told her I would love to see her and her family since it had been a long time. She said she would and I left it at that. The end of the weekend rolled around and I still had not heard from her so I decided to send another text asking what she was up to/ if we could meet up. I am on her way out of town and I was willing to meet her anywhere she wanted. This was her response: “Hey Sis, we are headed back already. Sorry.” “This has been the hardest trip ever; we cried nonstop, we’re completely emotionally worn out.” I said “OK, but I’m pretty upset. I haven’t seen you or my niece or nephew in over a year.” In her next text to me she completely flipped out and went on about how the grandmother was the matriarch of their family and everyone was devastated and they only had time for her husband’s family etc. I never responded to that text. I wasn’t sure how to properly convey my hurt feelings without sounding like a jerk so I left it alone. I am not in any way trying to dismiss her loss or not be understanding, but I didn't think I was asking for much.
All I was asking for was an hour of her time during her 3 day stay. Shortly after this exchange, 2 weeks or so, she and her husband (and his family!) completely blocked me and my whole family (Our mom, dad, my husband, Aunts etc) from social media with no explanation or anything. When I texted her to ask why I never got a response. I’m devastated that I won’t get to see my niece and nephew grow up or have a good relationship with my sister again. Am I the asshole for asking her to spare an hour to visit me while she was in town for a funeral and then being kind of mad when she didn’t?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
s7C5fwVeajHyvyuoVsQsBnBLj29PbK1U
|
b9ncwi
|
{
"description": "wanting to go to work sooner against my parents wishes",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to go to work sooner against my parents wishes?
|
I (21M). Would normally be in school right now but due to a really bad accident in September and it’s complications, I’ve had to take the year off and am currently living with my parents. I have a vacation coming up with my parents and a friend (alternating my time between the two and after that, I am going to work three days after (living on-site about 5 hours away by car.). My parents want me to spend a bit more time at home (a couple days.) but keep in mind I’ve spent the past 8 months with them so I don’t think it’s that unreasonable I want to start work right after the trip. My parents are wonderful people and have done amazing things for me over the past year but I feel I need to get myself to this job sooner to give me the best chance of rising through the ranks quickly (it’s a seasonal job.). When I told them that I changed my start date to be sooner than they asked for, they were pretty mad. Am I truly the a-hole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
HFLpK4TzKDP8PGDQskPuGF52GM7JmH4a
|
apn9qt
|
{
"description": "refusing to let my girlfriend stay with until she gets rid of lice",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for refusing to let my girlfriend stay with until she gets rid of lice ?
|
Throwaway as my girlfriend knows my reddit user.
My girlfriend of 8 months has been going through a rough patch mental health wise and has become rather depressed and has gotten Lice somehow from somewhere and she refuses to let me touch her hair to comb them out. Its worth noting i'm a bit of a clean freak but this has been the case for 2 months now and I had kept my mouth shut as I don't want to upset her but today i finally snapped. I told her that i don't want her to be staying the night at my house in my bed anymore as I am sick of getting Lice, getting rid of them, to then just get them back again. I love her to death but frankly i just find this disgusting that anyone can be okay with little critters running around there head all day long and I've had enough of acting like its okay.
Anytime i bring it up or ask to comb them out she uses the excuse "I hate people touching my hair" which frankly i just don't understand as she is okay with haircuts or me brushing her hair out of her face. Am I the asshole here ? am i being inconsiderate of her feelings by telling her to deal with it otherwise she cant stay with me?
Sorry if hard to understand english is my second language
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 14,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
vwniIa2I808ARX1QSRZ6VqxgFQNjxIEl
|
b8gri1
|
{
"description": "freaking out on my grandmother",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 11
}
|
AITA for freaking out on my grandmother?
|
This is my first time posting here, and English is not my first language, so sorry for any mistakes. For some context: I was diagnosed with celiac disease about 2 years ago. Since then, I follow the diet religiously . I live with my grandmother ( I attend university and don't have enough money to move out.), and it was really difficult to explain to her how to be careful in the kitchen so that gluten won't get into my food. In the beggining, she was using lots of flour and the air particles got everywhere, in my food, on utensils etc. I asked her kindly and multiple times not to use any flour as cross- contamination can't be eliminated and it was constantly making me sick. I managed to finally convince her to use gluten - free flour when cooking, so I don't get sick every time I eat . Lately, (about 2 months ago) , I started to feel very sick all the time. I couldn't figure out why. I started to get scared as I didn't know what was happening. Yesterday, I came home from my boyfriend only to find a bag of wheat flour spilled out on the kitchen table. I asked my grandma about it and she said she was making cookies for the neighbor. It turned out she' s been doing it for some time when I wasn' t home. I freaked out and started screaming at her that she' s so inconsiderate, selfish, and a terrible person as I asked her about a hundred times before not to do that. I told her that it' s all her fault that I feel sick all the time. Then I threw out all the flour in the kitchen while still screaming at her and finally stormed off to calm down. My question is: am I the asshole for freaking out on her? I was feeling really helpless, exhausted and desperate (and my symptoms were severe so that added to my anger)but also think that I went over the top.
So Reddit, am I the asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 11
}
|
WRONG
|
4pl1F8hsgrbVPcqWruoejpzEdsClO0uj
|
alinai
|
{
"description": "selling a necklace that my friend left behind at my house and never came to get back after 4 years",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA If I sold a necklace that my friend left behind at my house and never came to get back after 4 years.
|
So I had an extremely flakey friend who was really hard to get to show up to hang out all the time. When she did she was super spacey and kind of out of it. I later found out that she had a pretty bad pill problem. Anyway the last time we hung out was 4 years ago. My husband and I were having a small party at our place. Our friend showed up got really wasted and for some reason took off her necklace and left it in the bathroom. She later left without it. When i found it I immediately contacted her and let her know that she left her necklace behind. She responded it was no problem that she would just get it back the next time we hung out. Well we still have not hung out again. The first two years I had it I would reach out periodically over Facebook and try to hook up with her and get her necklace back to her. I even asked for her address but she never responded. Then she deleted her FB and I have completely lost touch with her. I have moved twice and each time I take the necklace with me. Thing is is this girl has really rich parents and this necklace is worth a lot of money. I kind of want to sell it and pay off some debts. Would I be an asshole if I did that? I know she really liked this necklace, she wore it all the time and at first was really devastated that she left it behind. Then she fell off the face of the planet and had never tried to get it back. Though that might be because of the pill problem. Do I hold on to this thing forever?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
OemIfFTSJLPARq2e2NbziXPDMEhUCcR5
|
b8qalq
|
{
"description": "telling my mom that I don't want to help her with her volunteer projects at her church anymore because it makes me uncomfortable",
"pronormative_score": 25,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I told my mom that I don't want to help her with her volunteer projects at her church anymore because it makes me uncomfortable?
|
Ok a little backstory: my mom has been going to this church for basically my whole life. I was raised in this church and a lot of the people there are like my second family. The church pretty much entirely makes up my mom’s social circle.
​
She is the volunteer treasurer and the volunteer high school youth leader. I (21F) used to be the volunteer that ran the middle school girls youth group, so kids would deal with me for the 3 yrs and then hang out with my mom for 4 yrs. everything was going well until a parent found out I am gay. Another volunteer with the youth group sat me down and basically told me that I had to do a better job of staying in the closet or stop volunteering at the church. I chose the latter.
​
Well the rest of the church found out I was gay because I stopped being so in the closet and now every time I’m there I get weird looks, no one will talk to me, and people I considered my family won’t hug me or shake my hand anymore. I’ve kinda distanced myself from the whole thing because I’m just uncomfortable every time I’m there.
​
My mom still works with the high school youth and is extremely involved at the church, but she also has a very demanding full time job and is really busy a lot of the time. She frequently will ask me to pick stuff up for her or drop stuff off at the church or be a driver for her kids when they do outings and such. She really needs the help because she has to depend on parents helping a lot but it’s not always enough so I feel like I’m leaving her without any options if I back out. But the thing is, I was really passionate about being involved with the middle school kids because they are an age group I really like dealing with, they have so many unique problems and it’s an age where they have so many questions and I liked being the person that could guide them through that and feel like I was told that I’m not allowed to do that anymore. I was never heavily involved with the high schoolers and would only help my mom every once in a while.
​
Every time I help her with something, I’m reminded that I was basically kicked out of doing the thing that I really care about. And also I’m not any less gay, so if it was an issue with the middle school parents, that’s still gonna be a problem for the high school parents as well and I just don’t want to have to deal with it at all. I haven’t even been to church in like 6 mo because I just feel so shitty there so I definitely don’t want to have to put any extra time/effort/money into an organization that made it very clear I’m unwelcome.
​
The issue is that I really don’t want my mom to feel like she has to chose between me and her entire friend group.
WIBTA if I told her that her homophobic church makes me vastly uncomfortable and I don’t want to go there, much less volunteer there?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 24,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 25,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
rIKvrHbWrerrfaUlB4NJ3PTsCsKwCID0
|
b2arjb
|
{
"description": "going on vacation without my so",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I went on vacation without my SO?
|
I’ve wanted to travel to a popular destination for most of my life. I met my SO about 5 years ago and we’ve been together for 4 of those. We’ve talked about going there, and she wants to join me, but she has a hard time saving money (due to things out of her control like her car needing unexpected repairs and surprise trips to the vet for our dog) and that throws a wrench into our travel plans.
I have been (very) slowly saving my money for a long time and I finally have enough to go on this trip. I actually have enough to cover expenses and plane tickets for both of us and I offered that to her. She told me she doesn’t want me to pay for her and I countered with “You can pay me back for it” but she didn’t want to do that either. I briefly brought up the idea of going by myself in a separate conversation and she said she was okay with it, but the context, tone of the conversation and the way she said it made me feel otherwise.
I just went through a big career change and now have a lot more flexibility and free time with my schedule. I have the money, I have the time, and it feels like I’m finally in the right place to be able to go on a trip like this.
Would I be an asshole for seriously suggesting that I go without her? I’ve been wanting to go to this place for a long, long time before we met and I would LOVE if she would let me take her. But if she doesn’t want me to, I also think that it’d be a good//growing experience for me to go alone.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
vT6Lev05keTKz5lCqMzCzVQT5FCIrauv
|
a82v1g
|
{
"description": "leaving a 2 year \"best friendship\"",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for leaving a 2 year "best friendship"?
|
Okay this is a tad lengthy..
Backround:
Myself (29f) and a friend (25f) of mine at the time were pretty inseparable. We did almost everything together and even though I have a 9 year old and a husband I always made time for her. Hell she was really good friends with my husband too! Not just to go out but every late night call crying about how lonely she is, talk her through her relationship issues, literally any time we had a conversation it always revolved around her. And I was always okay with it because she genuinely had issues and I didn't. I did notice though, after we "broke up" that any time I did try and talk about one of my issues it somehow still circled back to her. She was always the first one to say how she's a selfish, rich bitch. She almost wore it as a badge of pride, but she was always such a great friend that none of it bothered me.
The argument:
One night we're out drinking with some guys, there's one in particular that was flirting heavily with her and knowing he's married she heavily reciprocated the flirting. Now I understand it is not her cheating it's him however she has always turned guys down if they were married and hitting on her and always said how she respects marriage too much to entertain. Somehow tonight was different. As we're both wasted I tell her she needs to calm it down with the guy. In the middle of everyone she starts calling me out for being mean, fat and jealous of her.
We stood there, again-wasted, argueing, crying, just being hot messes. She then tells me the friendship is over and I leave.
In 8 months we haven't texted, talked, radio silence on both of our ends.
Was I the asshole for saying something in the first place, or for not apologizing afterwards?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
XhQg61IAaxM0yakLNsq7tocHOnVMIqgd
|
9vdrx3
|
{
"description": "getting angry at my mom after she tried to shoo away my 4 month old kitten",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting angry at my mom after she tried to shoo away my 4 month old kitten?
|
So around 3 months ago someone dumped 1 month old kitten infront of my house and I with approval of my parents took care of it. I paid for the food and they only paid for 1st vet visit that was around 25 euros. Now problems rose when I found a tick on her 2 days ago. My mom wouldn't let me get the tick off or take cat to the vet so he can take it off because she thinks that tick is dangerous and will bite me even though it is already attached to the cat. So today the cat was infront of the house and I picked her up to bring her to the backyard and give her some food. Lo and behold there is my mom in the backyard smoking a fag and she goes mental when she sees me carrying the cat, berating me how I can be so stupid and that I will get lyme disease. She then proceeds to hose kitten down even though it is 15 degrees out. So I go walk around the block to try to find her and after an hour I give up. I get home pissed because kitten I hand fed is out at now 10 degrees celsius and tell my mom if kitten doesn't come back I will never talk to her again. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
f5882WtbNHsDSrdhqvcXZDXiFH8eu3uZ
|
b8ukxy
|
{
"description": "telling my dad to stop talking about politics",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I tell my dad to stop talking about politics?
|
Recently my dad has become very interested in politics, specifically right-wing and he talks about it constantly, he watches Jordan Peterson and Ben Shapiro videos without headphones in the middle of the living room even if we are watching tv at the time. I am gay (closeted) and some of the stuff he says really hurts me, he also can be racist and sexist in front of my mum and it makes me uncomfortable. I don't know if I am overreacting about it though, he seems really pasionet about it and I don't want to make a big deal about it. WIBTA if I ask him to stop?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
dbob09tXdosuZHKPeidG2DO0E8US4dRW
|
awiyrq
|
{
"description": "not wanting husband and toddler son to go away for BILS wedding the week I'm due with our baby",
"pronormative_score": 19,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not wanting husband and toddler son to go away for BILS wedding the week I’m due with our baby?
|
My husbands brother is due to get married in Italy in August, the plan is for everyone (except me because I’m due to have our baby) to travel to Italy from England for a weeks holiday and to attend the wedding. The following week there is a second reception being held in the UK for family.
When I first found out I was pregnant I told my husband he could still go as he was freaking out about letting his brother down.
As it’s getting closer I’m really regretting this decision and I really don’t want him to go as I’m scared that I’ll have the baby without him or that something will go wrong. It will also be the longest my little boy (who will be 19 months old) has ever been away from me and I’m dreading him going for so long.
I don’t know what to do. I’m worried if I tell my husband that I don’t want him to go it’s going to cause huge arguments but I’m filled with dread At the idea of him not being here.
TLDR
I told my husband I didn’t mind him going away with the kids to his brothers wedding the week our baby is due and now I really regret that and I’m scared of him not being here when our baby is born+ scared of my little boy (19 months) being away so long and so far away.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 13,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 19,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
NHw48IjtrYRiFa6GVQOb3wKt1RsbKpzQ
|
9xxvz8
| null |
AITA: Lost my shit because my girlfriend kept me up when I had work the next day
|
She went out last night with some friends from work, I stayed home. She said she'd be back around 11 but when it turned midnight and she still wasn't home I sent her a quick message to check everything was ok and she messaged straight back letting me know she was fine. So I thought if she's still enjoying herself, there's no sense in her coming home to sit on her own while I sleep so I told her I was going to bed and to call if she needed me because the bar wasn't far from our house.
I wake up just before two in the morning to shouting in the kitchen, I open the bedroom door and see a guy I don't recognise running down my stairs. So I throw on a pair of jeans and run down the stairs, bleary-eyed and thinking the worst.
When I get down stairs; there's the guy from the stairs, my girlfriend and another woman standing around smiling. All absolutely smashed and happy to see me thinking I've come down to join them. Fuck that, I've to get up in the morning. Still slightly confused, I tell them as politely as I could they'd need to finish their drinks and leave ASAP.
I go back to bed. Half an hour or so later and there's no sign of moving and still shouting etc. I message my girlfriend from bed telling her they need to go immediately. She promptly bounces upstairs to tell me that they're just going to drink two bottles of wine and then they're leaving. Fuck that I have to get up in the morning, it's now around 2:30.
I go back downstairs to tell them in no uncertain terms that the night is over. No shouting, no swearing but firmly telling them it's time to go. Guy from the stairs fucks off almost immediately. The other woman says she needs a taxi (Find out later she was a ten minute walk away). I begrudgingly oblige and call the taxi, I wait in the front room to see when it arrives because they'll not sound the horn that late at night. While I wait they come in and out to protest that I'm making her leave. It's now well after 3:00.
Taxi arrives, I gather the handbag, leftover wine and gently escort her to the door with my girlfriend in tow with promises that we'll all go out another time. (I wouldn't bet on it) The two of them stand on the doorstep for fifteen minutes talking shit while the taxi is waiting. I go out and apologise to the taxi driver and try to make them understand that he's not waiting all night. This woman snaps at me that she's paying for the taxi so she can do what she wants. Fuck that, I've to get up for work in the morning. I'm out of patience. Argument about getting in taxi and my girlfriend getting in the house.
I go to bed thinking my worries are over. It's about 3:30. Girlfriend proceeds to sit down stairs and loudly talk on the phone to these people and others that they were out with. I'm at the end of my tether, I'm exhausted and wasting valuable sleeping time. Call her to be quiet. She says she will, remarkably though she isn't. This goes back and forth for a whole of me drifting off for a few minutes and her waking me talking loudly on the phone.
4:15, I'm absolutely spent. I can't be reasonable anymore. Go downstairs, she's video calling with someone and telling me to go away and she can do what she likes. Fuck that, I've got to get up for work in the morning. I snatch the phone out of her hand and go up to bed. She finally relents around 4:50 and comes to bed realising that the night is firmly over.
I wake up for work four hours later and whip the bed sheets off and put them in another room and ask her if she had a good night's sleep. She's incredibly hungover and asks me to bring her something to drink.
Fuck that, I've got to go to work.
TL;DR Drunk girlfriend brings drunk strangers into my house and proceeds to shout and scream for 3+ hours late at night while I was trying to sleep before work. Ultimately, I take her phone and bedsheets.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 40,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 42,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
mVehv4Gt7Y67RAUyYnxrYpXZYG5qOjpb
|
apx1di
|
{
"description": "telling a girl I didn't feel a connection when in reality her weight put me off",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 13
}
|
AITA for telling a girl I didn't feel a connection when in reality her weight put me off?
|
I saw a somewhat similar post recently and it inspired me to share this story.
Basically we matched on Tinder, had a first coffee date which lasted hours and went quite well. About a week later she suggested we meet again and told me she was open to the idea of having sex that day.
We met for lunch and then went to her place. It was a bit awkward at first but we did eventually have sex.
Later that night, she messaged me again to say she liked spending time with me and that she felt a connection.
Now I don't pretend to be the fittest guy there is, I've been chubby my whole life in fact, but this girl was clearly overweight and this put me off while we were having sex.
I didn't want to tell her that, so when she asked if I wanted to see her again, I told her no, and said that it was because I didn't feel there was a connection between us and that the distance between us (she lived in another city) would quickly become a problem.
Now she had told me before that she had trust issues, and that guys had previously had sex with her only to ditch her right away, and I honestly didn't mean to become one of those guys but that's what did happen.
So, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 13,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 13
}
|
WRONG
|
hMMuw8A1zYQiPec8PzhBZs2Zzdxuonek
|
ahd13i
|
{
"description": "having a drink with my pregnant gf",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 18
}
|
AITA for having a drink with my pregnant GF?
|
As title. Story goes we are going into town for a meal, a short ten minute drive with a large parking lot on arrival.
We are about to leave and she looks at me puzzled as to why I've not got my car keys.
I say 'what's wrong, aren't you driving?'
She usually avoids driving when I'm around but in this situation it's a Friday night, we are going for a meal and I wouldn't mind a beer or two (and it really is only one or two with my meal not like I'm going out!!)
She's pregnant so she can't drink anyway, as much as it's nice to be supportive and show sympathy to her at all times she reckons I should be driving and also shouldn't have a beer because she can't have a glass of wine!
The reason I'm posting is because she was so strong on this to the point of saying 'no, you're not going to win this one.' As if this is some really obvious thing?
Third party input please!
(Side note. I'm aware this could be hormone related and I'm probably not gonna pick this battle lol. Just wondering)
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 13,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 2
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 18
}
|
WRONG
|
8lu1fKublmgcHwcol7PX5U38aW6S4TdX
|
anu8h7
|
{
"description": "getting annoyed with my friends for obsessing over Kpop",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting annoyed with my friends for obsessing over Kpop?
|
Some backstory:
My friend Anna (20F) and I (20F) have been best friends for 8 years and started liking Kpop 5 years ago or something like that. We were both around 15 when we started liking Exo but it only lasted half a year to a year for me because I just don't like obsessing over artists the way that I need to see every interview and every episode where they supposedly show their "true self". Fast forward a few years and our other friend Nicole (also 20F) joins us. Anna is still following EXO while I haven't been catching up with any news and only listened to like two songs or something. Anna started introducing us to BTS which was really fun at first and they are really good artists imo.
Onto the story:
1. Last summer we went to South Korea for Holiday (mainly because we were all pretty much still fans of BTS). It was really fun and we had a good time overall (no fights between each other or anything like that). So one time we were hanging out with our neighbours, drinking soju and eating some really good food, when I (pretty drunk) remembered how Anna told me that if you pronounce Joker a certain way it means Big Cock or something. Now me being drunk said I'll pronounce it very carefully and obviously fucked it up, hence the two Korean boys couldn't stop laughing and it was pretty funny too. It's been more than 5 months since then and they still tell the story, even when non Kpop fans are present and then explain while the other people usually just look at them weirdly.
2. There are no normal conversations with Nicole anymore. The only thing she talks about is Kpop and literally nothing else. She's not the most outgoing girl and that's fine and everything but then she starts saying she only wants a korean boyfriend and that she wants to live in South Korea (even though she's not even trying to study korean). I don't even like our ladies night we have anymore because we'll usually watch something funny or talk or whatever, but now it's just become this huge Kpop thing where we only watch Kpop videos, listen to Kpop music and if we're not doing that Anna and Nicole are trying to do the choreography (which is fine but please let's not do it at 3am). Even when other people are there Nicole still turns on Kpop and the videos.
3. Even in normal conversations in public spaces Nicole will randomly start dancing her favorite parts or respond in her few korean words that she knows. Whenever I say "I don't know" (which is kind of often tbh) she immediately responds with "NAN MOLLA" ("I don't know Nan molla" are lyrics in a song) which was funny the first few times but she's been saying that for months now and it's getting pretty annoying tbh.
I know I should say that it's bothering me and I've stirred conversations back to the topics again. To be fair I did tell them I'm just not that much into it anymore but maybe I should do it again? Like am I overreacting and just being overall to harsh?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
lc3QCFShPu7Ud1eaBVASO4QLcsbgNOZe
|
als85l
|
{
"description": "declining to hang out with a guy I tried to be friends with in the past",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for declining to hang out with a guy I tried to be friends with in the past?
|
I tried to make friends with this guy a couple of years ago. Granted, I did have a crush on him, so it might have seemed like I was trying to get with him, but I also wasn't opposed to us becoming platonic friends if we weren't a match romantically. I asked him to hang out about 6 times over the years, and he only actually hung out once. He also stood me up twice, once cause he fell asleep, another because well.... just didn't contact me that he wasn't coming. I stopped trying about a year ago. Since then, we've both gotten SO's. Our social groups were somewhat connected in the past, but I actually hear and see this guy a lot more because of my SO. Not close friends, but close social group, like 3-5 of my SO's friends are this guy's friends, but just an acquaintance with my SO.
Anyways, a mutual friend hosts a party. He's there. Later on in the night, we're talking, having a nice conversation. Then he asks me if my SO and I want to go to an event he's going to, too. I scoff, saying "oh, now you want to be friends?" To which he retorts "uh... I mean, I wanted to, just didn't get the chance to." To which I am mildly infuriated with since I was always the one initiating contact in the past and he was the one curbing each single attempt. So I said, "Uh no. Stop lying to me." And walk away. He's a bit perplexed and goes to confide in the others while I'm in the kitchen hanging with my SO.
Later on in the night, he leaves and one of the friends confronts me about what happened. They're obviously more biased to his side of the story since everyone there is more friends with my SO and him than with me, but I tell them. They proceed to say that I was out of line for shooting him down like that. Yeah, perhaps I could have elaborated or been more polite, but all that annoyance I felt for the wasted energy and time I used on him welled up and retaliated in his face. I tell them a little bit of the backstory behind it, and some of them were still on his side. To which I said, "you know what. If he thinks back on these past few years with all the interactions we've had, he'd understand why. I'm done trying to make friends with that guy. I don't mind if he happens to be around whenever I'm hanging out with any of y'all, but I'm not going to accept any of his attempts to hang out with him. I gave him too many chances to, and he never took them." It was a little awkward afterwards, but since he wasn't there anymore, the party transitioned back to normal fun.
Honestly, I feel that now that I've got someone, he knows he's safe from any attempts of me going after him, so he feels safe to approach me now. Additionally, we matched on Tinder before, too so I don't think it's because he didn't find me attractive or whatever (that didn't go anywhere either). Whether that's the case or not doesn't really matter though because he still wasted my time. Or rather, I gave him too many chances to fuck me over and he took almost all of them. So I don't want to try acting like it was all nothing and I'll just overlook how he disrespected me in the past. But a few of those friends and probably whoever else he confided in probably see me as the asshole since I shot him down with no context as to why.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
OpeuSS9qXAVoKHEWBrPLFyGqCdp0vYGN
|
b9lpai
|
{
"description": "ignoring a construction workers instructions",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 12
}
|
AITA for ignoring a construction workers instructions?
|
So at uni the other day I was walking along a path where they were doing construction work nearby. On the path there was a straight road leading to an 90 degree right turn which I needed to go through to get to my class, about a half a meter before this turn was a construction worker of sorts standing guard of a gap between the turn and the straight path (so like a mini shortcut). We get a lot of tourists and I was stuck behind a big group of them at the turn so I opted to go through the shortcut. (This shortcut had no construction work happening it was just being blocked for some reason). As I was walking this man stuck his arm infront of me as a way of telling me I cant go through here(this annoyed me). I asked him "why not" and he didnt really give me an answer, just said something along the lines of just doing my job. I said this was stupid (something I regret, I shouldnt have belittled his job) and decided to walk right through him despite his protests. AITA?
I went back and apologised which I somewhat regret because as soon as he saw me he stuck his arm out when I was just saying sorry.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 12,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 12
}
|
WRONG
|
JpCBeonoTDvfFxk2ujeXPdUGzSKQmYL6
|
b6zta3
|
{
"description": "convincing friend to Travel but having to cancel cuz flight cancelled",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA Convincing Friend to Travel but having to cancel cuz flight cancelled
|
I (23 M living in NY) somewhat convinced a friend of mine, who I met in South America and who lives in Germany, to travel Iceland with me. I suggested to him Iceland, and he was on board with it. I didn't have to beg him, but there was a period a few months ago where we didn't know which country would work best for both of us. I only had 5 vacation days and I said that Iceland, because of how ridiculously expensive it is and our limited time, middle point between NY and Germany, and both of our interest in nature / landscape, would be the best. We both agreed and booked flights. We also booked a van, $350 each of us.
​
Yesterday, WOW AIR ceases operations. Flight is cancelled. He booked with another airline.
​
He asked if I was willing to book another flight. I said i wasn't sure because I wanted to make sure I could recoup the initial $400 from the first flight. The new flight would cost me anywhere from 600-800$.
​
I offered to pay half of his flight if he didn't go, which would be $170. We could get refunded the van cost. So we would both stand to lose at minium $170. Max, i would lose would be 570 (400+170).
​
I feel really guilty for not be able to come since this was my idea at first. So AITA for not re-booking a flight.
​
TLDR: Wow air stops operating, new cost of flight is 1.5-2x more expensive. Friend booked with another airline. I've cancelled. He might travel solo. I've offered to pay half of his flight cost if he doesn't go.
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
vfmUCNMTC9aXLh30z96E2JJTSSHXRquF
|
ag647z
| null |
AITA friend post pictures of me
|
good morning people of Reddit!
So, I have an Instagram account dedicated for saving material of my favorite artists there. I’m not really a stan account but naturally you’re probably folllwing a few. One day, as I‘m skipping through the stories, I see an intriguing text. It’s the owner off the account venting, how they feel horrible cause of this toxic friend in their life. Since I was in a very motivated state of mind and I‘m a good talker- I decided to message her.
Long story short, I sent a few paragraphs and she thanked me for building her up. Turns out we’re both 18 year old girls living in Europe (although in different countries).
Few days later our ‚friendship’ has evolved and we’re now texting. Her main problem is this toxic friend, who’s also just an online buddy, but she’s quite the opposite of me (from what my new friend -L- told me) in terms of influence. She never let her talk about her feelings, manipulated her and just kinda uses her i guess, I don’t really understand the dynamics of their relationship but L was pretty deep in there. She said they’ve been texting every day for a year and how she couldn’t imagine life without her ‚friend anymore‘.
My suggestion was that I could support her, while she is trying to cut that person out of her life. And this has been working great, she sometimes texts me when she’s crying or in direct need of comfort. We still talk about the artist about whose stan acc we met, we also talk about life in general. Mostly her though. She knows about my life but of course not my demons.
Now, manipulating friend stopped talking to her at all and she’s freaking out cause she sees her posting on social media. Around that time I start sending her good night pictures of our favorite artist. She feels lost and overwhelmed, so I thought it would be a nice routine. She jokingly calls me mommy sometimes and in general is just super greatful and making lots of improvement.
Anyway, the plot thickens:
She always tweets snapshots of our chat history on twitter, tagging me (my gf share an account), sometimes it was even selfies of me, I sent in our chat history. Since we both really don’t have crazy amounts of followers that isn’t a big deal usually.
Yesterday I woke up and checked my twitter- the night before we talked very long & intense.
I sent her a picture of me with a joint in my mouth (she knows i’m a stoner & that i smoke before bed) and another picture of our favorite artist, who were both attracted to and caption it „good night from mommy and daddy“ .
Of course she posted it. It was uncomfortable before, you know seeing her post random stuff and tagging me, but it didn’t bother me too much. This, I felt, was too much tho. So I messaged her.
this is a copy of my text:
hey wassup, i do appreciate you appreciating me haha but i’d love to know when my messages/ pictures are being posted
especially my face or me with drugs, i’d like to have that in my own hand you know
please delete it
her: sorry
me: it’s alright just let me know next time :)
I told her not to worry about it too, like I wasn’t beating mean or unreasonable.
Since then she has deleted ALL tweets, been online, reading my texts & posting on social media. I’m slowly getting the impression of someone who might twisted reality with her manipulative friend (i never asked for proof/screenshots) to make herself the victim. Ignoring me until I apologize for this incident is the only thing I can think of, which is a dick move right?
I don’t want other people posting explicit pics of me / something i sent, thinking it’s a private conversation, without me even finding out the next day. I’m a woman of color lmao getting a job is hard enough but what if they find some shit like that one day? Also it’s illegal where I live; police are really strict & getting worse. I know I won’t get arrested over this tweet. I still don’t want it and she shouldn’t be mad? Like I understand she has issues but our relationship is literally based on open communication.
I can see her standpoint of being insecure and wanting people to see her amazing friendship with me or whatever but there’s a line.
Summery:
I met a girl online, lowkey became her therapist, she always posts pics of me / our chat history on twitter. Last time it was one of me with a joint in my mouth. I asked her to take it down. She did, and has been ignoring me for a day or two now.
Am I missing something or is she overreacting?
Should I have just ignored the picture for the sake of our friendship? or have been more sensitive
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
AbdBeJBYWAeNBrk0gIaZd2q488YPYoV6
|
ag2t41
|
{
"description": "wanting \"New Year, New me\" gym-goers to give up and fail already so I can have the gym to myself again",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 14
}
|
AITA for wanting "New Year, New Me" gym-goers to give up and fail already so I can have the gym to myself again?
|
January the worst time to go to the gym. All these randos show up, not enough equipment. Just stay home ppl.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 14,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 14
}
|
WRONG
|
ifL3sbnV1BD85IH5VuMj1VJvJslgYvWl
|
9xz4ga
|
{
"description": "telling her I didn't want to talk to her",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA For telling her I didn't want to talk to her?
|
I'm 16 years old (High School Junior), and have always been what I like to call a "bipolar extrovert", where I'm super social at school and love being surrounded by people, but when I get home, I'm just exhausted and want to spend the whole day left to my own devices. Don't get me wrong, I love my mom to death, but conversations with her tend to by straining on me, because they usually turn into interrogations where she just grills me about my bad grades, or my bad eating habits, or whatever else she disapproves of in that moment, which means I'm put on edge whenever she comes and chats with me.
The other day (Thursday), I had a rough day at school, so when I got home, I wanted to keep to myself for a while particularly strongly. My mom got home a few hours later, and when she came to ask me how my day was, I bluntly told her "I had a rough day at school, and don't feel like talking. I want to keep to myself". She tried to start conversations a few more times throughout the day, but I just gave really brief "yes" or "no" answers, again, because I wasn't feeling sociable.
The next day (Friday), I still just wanted to be left alone, which I told my mom again. Towards the end of the day, she started crying because she though I was being needlessly mean to her by ignoring her and being dismissive. I sat down with her and talked with her to calm her down, but I after I defused that situation, I went back to minding my own business for the day.
I haven't told her about why talking with her is stressful, because I don't think she'd take that particularly well, but to be fair, from her point of view my dismissiveness doesn't seem to have a reason behind it.
Am I the asshole here?
​
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
d4OACWthfMiEzNwJibZvYndpZ2xEavNF
|
aapm0o
|
{
"description": "being upset with my boyfriend because someone he used to hook up with texted him today",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for being upset with my (19f) boyfriend (21m) because someone he used to hook up with texted him today?
|
My loving boyfriend (LBF) And I just recently moved in together and it’s been a whirlwind and I thought it’s been going well. I’ve been having some anxiety about him being faithful because of some shit that happened in the past between him and an ex which- long story short, she cheated on him and he cheated back. I don’t doubt he loves me but I still get nervous because I used to be very staunch in my belief that “once a cheater, always a cheater.”
Today, LBF asked me if I knew a number that I had texted him, I didn’t recognize it nor was it saved in my phone. I texted it just trying to figure out who it was, which might be dumb but who cares. I think the part that scared me and frustrated me the most was that he called him by a fake last name and when I asked bf about it he got upset and defensive. He asked me why I texted it and if I was fucking with him when I asked who “LBF Fakelastname” was. Mind you, he’s been very open with me about his past and past relationships/hook-ups. He told me it was Ex-FWB and I got upset. Him getting defensive like that made me nervous and scared so I got upset and now I feel like an asshole. Am I?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
lICtg0m6KEbMMbkkgtTSqiOvU6tZCHGR
|
awznte
|
{
"description": "cutting off mentally unstable husband",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for cutting off mentally unstable husband?
|
I met my current spouse (JERK) after a peaceful divorce from my prior husband. I had to move two states away for work shortly after meeting so I kept two homes: one for work during the week and the other to see my kids from the first marriage on the weekends. Early in my relationship with Jerk I was on the fence about him because he showed signs of anger & anxiety. However, a traumatic event in his life made me sympathetic and I became closer to him. I was covering more and more of his bills because he was “traumatized” and crippled with anxiety. He could not control his abussive temper but I was super busy with work & commuting & kids so I kept taking his excuses & promises that he would be better.
This went on for 5 years. We built our homes together and got 2 dogs. I was paying 85% of the bills and still dealing with his outbursts but now he blamed them on the commuting. When the time came to prepare to move back to the state my kids are in, we decided to have a baby and he expressed he wanted to be a stay at home dad and proposed. I had our daughter a year before the transition “home” and that’s when the severity of his anxiety hit me. He didn’t come to the delivery. He visited us (drunk) like a guest for 20 min or so the 4 days we were in the hospital and he gave no support once we came home. He would not touch her and would not help me. I had a c-section. Two weeks later he informed me he wasnt commuting back to my work house and so I went alone terrified how in the hell I was going to work and care for a newborn.
It was devastating to me. Being personally rejected is one thing but having my daughter rejected was the worst. Eventually he came to visit us. He still would not be left alone with her and minimal contact. I had to have my mother move in full time so that I could keep my job.
When the time came to finally stop the years of commuting and just live in our home state I thought the nitemare would finally end. Things actually got worse. He couldn’t escape us anymore. We just had the one home. His reaction was meltdowns and tantrums and cussing and ranting on a weekly basis then disappearing to sleep in his car. I had to involve the police and social services several times when it escalated to physical violence.
Now she is 3. It has been daily hell every day we have lived here. He can’t be alone with her. He will not take her anywhere. He will not take care of the home. He contributes to none of the bills. He will not stop verbally assaulting me and has assaulted her twice now cussing nastily at her.
Now she seeks him out desperately for attention. I have hoped so much the nitemare would stop. I see now it will not and he is only with me as a squatter.
AITA for cutting him off and basically out of our daughters life when I let things go so far?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
INFex9Y0yYYLyFiNu3cm9bgecDj6s1iY
|
9wt806
|
{
"description": "threatening to sue former-friends to get back money they owed me",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for threatening to sue former-friends to get back money they owed me?
|
In the past, I've had to threaten former friends on two seperate occasions to get money that they owed me and I feel like an asshole.
The first time, I was living with a best friend in an apartment but he got unofficially fired (dropped his hours to 1/hr a week to avoid paying unemployment and expected him to quit). He refused to look for a job for months so I covered his half of the rent/utilities while his parents covered his cellphone and food with the understanding he would pay me back. I kept a whiteboard that listed everything in the main room. After five months, it drained my savings and I had to move out. We remained friends but in the following months, I saw him make posts on Facebook about going on vacations, "winning it big" at a casino, and buying new clothes. When I would ask for the money he owed me (which was around 3k), he'd say he'd pay using his tax returns but that never happened. A year later, he stops talking to me on Facebook and responding to texts so I text him that if he doesn't pay me the money he owes me in three months, that I'll take him to court. Sure enough, a few weeks later, he paid me.
The second time, I did some graphic design work for a friend for free since it was a simple thing but she wanted a lot more work done and I told her that since she wants so much done, I'd have to charge her and she agreed on a price per hour. I spend a month making the branding, website, and advertising for her home-based business. After the job was finished, I calculated everything and it was just shy of 5k but I dropped it down to around 4k since she was a friend. I give her the bill, she said she would have to wait a few weeks but she was happy with the results. Weeks go by and nothing, just kept telling me I would have to wait a bit longer. While all of this is going on, she's on Facebook talking about big trips her and her husband are going on, and showing pictures their new house being remodeled. A few months go by and she still wants me to do more work but I tell her that she needs to pay for what I've already done before I can do more. That's when she says that she decided that I would be a part owner of her business (she has no business experience or plan), and that I would get paid when the company makes money. I tell her that I would prefer the money since I was looking at returning to college and she flipped out, saying how I didn't believe in her and how I was a horrible friend; ending it by saying she was going to block me and that she would send me the money in a few weeks. I'm blocked, waiting for the money that never comes so I send a message to her company Facebook, her personal email, and a way to circumvent the text ban, all saying that if she doesn't pay me in two weeks, that I'd take her to court. Again, sure enough, I'm paid almost immediately. four years later, her company is still in the red.
TL;DR: Two former friends both owed me thousands of dollars and after waiting months, I had to threaten to sue them (even if I likely never would) to get it back, ending the friendship.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
mj8FlBBqRWG7KEb3n81K3m6dPWEhpx4B
|
am3emj
|
{
"description": "sending my nurse flowers with my phone number attached",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for sending my nurse flowers with my phone number attached?
|
This happened months ago, so I’m a little fuzzy on the details, but I still think about it. It all started at the gym when I almost passed out. I’ll spare the medical details because they’re not important. Anyway I end up with this really cute nurse(pretty sure she was a resident though), and I’m head over heels, we’re talking twelve out a ten here, and we talked a bit and she was really cool and sweet. Well I being the shy guy I am never told her how I felt, other than slyly telling her she was cute... I don’t remember exactly, I just remember it being cringe. I check out of the hospital and I can’t stop thinking about her, so naturally I try to find her on the internet. I only have a first name, so no dice. Luckily I have a stepbrother who works at that same hospital(this is where it gets really cringe), and he got her last name and the next time she worked so I could send her flowers, so I do with a cringy note attached saying something to the effect of “being in the hospital sucked but you made it suck less”, enough for her to remember me, and my phone number. Now keep in mind about a week passed since I’d been in the hospital before the flowers got there. No response to the flowers . Now I know I’m not entitled to a response because for all she knew I was an axe murderer rapist, but it still made me feel like an asshole because it led me to believe she was creeped out rather than flattered(which is what I was going for). In the end I just wanna know that, and I know in the end she just wasn’t interested, but I really just wanna know what she felt when she got those flowers and that note.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 7,
"INFO": 1
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
ZM2xusagtk5MMGWrzCfzEGpvBc0Gkk72
|
a5hzei
|
{
"description": "smoking when my girlfriend doesn't want me to",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I smoked when my girlfriend doesn’t want me to?
|
My girlfriend and I are both 18 and have been dating for 6 months, and she’s extremely against weed and alcohol. Before I started dating her, I smoked pretty often and drank often too. The reason she says she’s against it is because of her ex boyfriend of 4 months, who was mentally abusive towards her, and would drink and smoke often.
I have pretty extreme back pain from a track and field injury, and was prescribed pain killers for it. Personally I’m against opiates and would much rather smoke than to take them. But she has voiced to me many times that it would upset and scare her. I’ve told her plenty of times that I would be completely safe, and if she would prefer, I would only smoke cbd, and that she can be with me while I’m doing it.
So would I be the asshole if I smoke when she’s not ok with it whatsoever?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
hbyDpC2pb5ZOz0A612nfRD9Pqq8dM0QL
|
axrfj6
|
{
"description": "not giving up a parking spot",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not giving up a parking spot?
|
As I was looking for a parking spot next to school, I see a guy in a black Beetle parked in the middle of the street. I’ve seen this guy a few times now. He’s parked in the middle of the street with his hazard lights on and waiting for a parking spot.
All incoming traffic had to circle past him just to keep going down the street. A girl in a Forrester circled around him to keep going down the street then someone got into their car and was about to back out of their parking space. The girl saw the spot that was about to open up and signaled to turn into the spot.
The guy decided to follow behind her and honk at her for a good five minutes as she parked in the spot. At this point, everyone in the area was confused. She saw AND got the spot first. He pulled up behind her just to honk at her for no reason. Another girl with her friends were about to get into her car to leave her parking spot. She tells the guy that he should take her spot just to get him to stop honking and disrupting the peace. He doesn't listen because he’s too busy being petty and would not stop honking his horn.
The girl looks at me and tells me to take her spot, and gives me a thumbs up. I acknowledged her and started my turn signal. As I waited for her to back out of the spot, the Beetle which was in front of me by about 300ft decides to back up right in front of me, almost hitting my car, blocks the girl from getting out of her parking spot, and signals to turn into her spot.
The girl is unable to get out, the Beetle refused to move, and I was stuck trying to wait for my spot. As we waited for a good two minutes for the guy in the Beetle to move, the guy in the car behind me steps out of his car and approaches me.
The guy flashes his badge and asks what was going on. I tell him that the Beetle had been parked in the middle of the street and someone took a spot that they saw before he did, was honking at them and is now trying to steal my parking spot by blocking the girl who was trying to get out.
The cop says that he thinks the Beetle has the right to the spot because he's in front of me. I explained that the guy had backed up for no reason and was trying to take my spot when I already signaled and the girl who was trying to get out told me to take the spot.
The guy in the Beetle gets out of his car and tells me that he’s been waiting on this street for two hours to get a parking spot. And I responded with “I don’t care. If you were waiting for two hours, you’ve been parked in the middle of the street for two hours and blocking all the traffic.”
The cop asks the girl what happened. The girl corroborated my story; the cop told the guy to leave.
The girl backs out of her spot and I parked. I sat in my car after parking and decided to get out and take down the license plate of the guy in the Beetle in case he decides to be an asshole and somehow key my car as I’m in class.
AITA for not just let the parking spot go and giving the spot to the Beetle?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
MTXZBtxNsRJ5d6633pCiq70rE4v6NPJr
|
aiwv76
|
{
"description": "not wanting to get married at the courthouse",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to get married at the courthouse?
|
Background: My fiance and I started dating earlier in May. We have an date set at an actual venue to get married at the end of May.
He wants to go to the courthouse and get married on the day we started dating. I do not want to do this because I will always remember the day we were all dressed up and surrounded by family and friends as our wedding anniversary. He wants to keep the date because it is important to him.
Am I in the wrong here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
yRJmexAFx8x3hkWZrS4YQbFdNeebExwQ
|
9um87r
|
{
"description": "making obscenely heavy furniture for friends and family and not sealing it",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for making obscenely heavy furniture for friends and family and not sealing it.
|
I’ve been getting a lot of shit off my friends and family after making in my opinion a beautiful piece, like really top class. But when they are together they rip into me about either the weight or paying for a professional painter.
I’ll try to post an image in the comments of an example.
But I’ve been doing this free in most cases even the timber as gifts and if not very cheaply I just ask for cost of hardware, glass and timber so It doesn’t cost me anything but time. Also that since I’m doing it for nothing I don’t and will never apply a finish. I expect them to appreciate the work I’ve done by picking up a brush and giving 6-10 hours themselves.
One of the biggest complaints I hear too often is that I made a dining room table for a geographically distant cousin at the specs he gave me. They had too leave it out side until they could organise a spray painter and a way to get it inside at a total cost of 2500 and zero for me. (1800 for spray and the rest for transport and getting it inside, a window had to be dismantled).
So am I the arsehole.
This is getting a little long so I will comment on an example of the weight problem.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
WRONG
|
9W3TyTwdPrT0aJFlsFu8cFX0lBcBzKOM
|
ay3qov
|
{
"description": "getting furious when someone nearly destroys my drawing",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for getting furious when someone nearly destroys my drawing
|
This happened a little less than a year ago, but recently one of my friends brought it up, so I decided to post what happened on here and see if I was the asshole in this situation.
Also, I apologize for any formatting issues, I am on mobile.
So, I consider myself an artist. I'm not professional in the slightest, and drawing is just a hobby, but I believe that as long as someone creates any form of art, whether it is their job or not, is allowed to label themselves an artist.
Because of this, I take a lot of pride in my artwork, even my purposely-bad shitpost art. Speaking of shitpost art, one day I was at lunch, sitting with my friends, drawing my shitty versions of Mario characters on sticky notes. Since I was drawing on a pad of sticky notes, I had to take the previous drawing off in order to move onto the next one, so I just left them sitting on the table, right by me, as I went onto drawing the next character.
Then there was this one girl, I'll call her Rachel, who I wasn't exactly friends with, but we got along decently enough since she sat at my lunch table, who decided that it would be 'funny' to take my shitty drawing of Princess Peach, crumple it up, and then hold it so that it looked like she was about to tear it in half
The following conversation then went as such (I'm just paraphrasing what was said);
Me: *looks up from my current drawing and sees what Rachel is doing with my Princess Peach picture* Rachel what the fuck?? Give that back!!
Rachel: JEEZ...*hands me the drawing with an annoyed look on her face* I was just joking!!
Me: Well it looked like you were going to fucking rip it!! I know that it's just a shitty doodle, but I'm proud of it! You can just take it, crumple it up, then nearly rip it!!
Rachel: I wasn't gonna rip it!!!!
The next day, Rachel sat at a different table, which one of my friends actually sat at. Apparently, Rachel had decided to bitch about what I had done, and claimed that I was bullying her??? I swear on my life that before this incident, I had never been even slightly rude to Rachel before.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
DmsahkhR18zRUtf8uxG84wLmBO4VwR1P
|
a8xu19
|
{
"description": "expecting sex on my birthday",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for expecting sex on my birthday?
|
My girlfriend (26F) and I (30M) have been dating for nearly 5 years. Our sex life started strong and has gradually declined over that time. The last two year or so, I’ve expressed concern for this trend because I think it’s important to the relationship to have a “healthy” sex life. I’d say we have sex around once every three weeks. Oral is much less frequent.
About two weeks ago my gf brought up that she was going to purchase lingerie for my birthday and asked if there always anything I would like for her to wear. I showed her some items I liked (thanks, /r/lingerie) and we had a fun conversation about. Last Friday was my birthday and nothing happened all weekend. We went to dinner one on one Thursday night and took Friday off from work to spend time together before going out to dinner with my family that evening. Nothing happened on Saturday either. I calmly brought it up to her on Sunday and it was basically met with indifference or “I didn’t feel like it” responses.
AITA for being annoyed and frustrated by all of this? I feel the lingerie conversation got my hopes up and not following through - especially considering previous conversations about being unsatisfied - was kind of a slap in the face. Obviously she doesn’t have to have sex or give oral because I said so but I feel that if the roles were reversed, I’d make some “extra effort” on their birthday regardless of how I felt.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 16,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 16,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
PTcXMYhPUIO7pdaNuAujQ51fi1SnO9LK
|
aa9syl
|
{
"description": "not wanting to share my referral bonus",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to share my referral bonus
|
My friend was asking me about potential jobs where I work to which I was happy to talk to her about. She mentioned that where she currently works offers a referral bonus if someone you refer gets hired and I mentioned that yeah we have one too and it is quite a nice amount of money. As soon as I said this she mentioned we should split it. At this stage I could see where this was going so I told her she didn't have to put me as a reference if she doesn't want to. She tells me she'll put me as her reference if I'll split the money with her. I decline saying I'd rather not (Purely because I don't agree with her assuming she's entitled to a part of the bonus as it's not put in place for her). Finally, she asks me if she did put me down would I share it and I tell her honestly no.
So there it is, was I being the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
qGLDx1UWW7PqfVDou47Dh8YS9VRXp6eI
|
apofrm
|
{
"description": "snitching on my drug dealer who played me",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 10
}
|
AITA if I snitched on my drug dealer who played me?
|
Disclaimer: First time posting and on mobile. I had no idea where else to put this.
Back ground: So I (M18) am a college student working my butt off to stay in school. I pick up extra shifts all the time to try to make ends meet. I have a scholarship but I can not get free room and board until my sophomore year (for being an ). My day begins at 6:00 am and ends after 12:00 am. I feel like I never have time for a break. I am also a very honorable person. I work for every penny I have and buy much of my own things. I would never steal. Ever. I hate liars and stealers with a deep, deep passion. I also have insomnia and weed helps me sleep. I do not usually smoke weed.
Story: It is a Friday night and I just got off work. I am extremely tired and I want to wind down. My friends are in my dorm (roommate let them in) and want to have fun. Again, I want to wind down but (A) this is the only time I would get to hang with my friends because of work and our busy schedules (B) the weed would help me sleep. My regular plug wasn’t available so I hit up this new guy my friend told me about. We were gonna get two grams for $20. I cashapp’d him the $15 and said I would give this $5 in person. He seemed genuine and legit. Long story short be never showed up and he blocked me. I was super fucking mad. Like how could you steal from me? I admit I was so anxious to just have fun winding down with my friends I didn’t think twice about sending he money.
I have no idea what he looks like but I know his boys who sell as well. They covered for him (by saying they don’t know him) which I can’t blame them for, I respect that. They also have never scammed my friends. I wanted to handle this like people should where I’m from but I don’t want people to get involved and I can’t get arrested for assault over $15. Still, I fucking hate cheaters, dog. This happened weeks ago and still can’t stop thinking about it. I’ve told my friends who know him to never point him out to me because I swear on my mama I would cut him.
Would I be an asshole if I snitched? I know his government (he’s kind of an idiot because cash app requires your real name and what kind of dealer puts their real name?). I also know where he lives. But, I don’t want to get his friends involved because they didn’t do anything. Again, they are legit. I know snitching is wrong but I have a feelings that I’m going to end up finding out who he is and I would feel like a huge bitch if I didn’t fuck him up.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 10
}
|
WRONG
|
ooHx7DDDP8J3XTNjAaIkiO2XemKiUoi4
|
b4ejwe
|
{
"description": "not wanting my boyfriend to touch me anymore",
"pronormative_score": 27,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting my boyfriend to touch me anymore?
|
Short and quick. My partner (33) and I (20) are living together and for the most part. Everything is perfect, except he touched me. So much. I'm talking, when I wake up, he's fondling me, when we lay in bed his hand is in my pants. Like. A normal hug or whatever always ends with his hands on my chest. And I just. Hate it. I've told him times where I don't want to do that and push his hand away, and he respects that. But he keeps doing it.
Tl;Dr boyfriend is turning me off.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 25,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 3
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 27,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
g2mD4z1Mdiu6ofzM9kmOwv6xZLpWropr
|
aksg6z
|
{
"description": "thinking he shouldn't keep talking to her",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for thinking he shouldn’t keep talking to her?
|
Tw: self harm/suicide
About a week and a half ago a younger girl messaged my partner with offers of sex, he informed her that he had a partner but continued talking to her, while this made me uncomfortable I saw no reason for anything to happen since she didn’t know he was taken. Recently my partner was talking to her about her most recent suicide attempt, he can he rather insensitive to people who post images of cuts/ videos of them cutting and was teasing her for doing it, he asked when her next attempt was, suggest methods ect. During this conversation he called her stunning, I told him that it sounded like he was flirting and that that upset me, he said he was only teasing her but she then sent him nude images because she forgot he had a partner. They weren’t friends before we started dating and he said that they’ve agreed to be friends now. He thinks I’m being unreasonable but I think that she was disrespectful by sending nude images and he’s being disrespectful for continuing to talk to her. So am I asshole for thinking it’s rude of him to keep talking to her?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 14,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
QW4BALki2Zk3IAtnwtuWslU1BP7RRzxi
|
9zdl29
|
{
"description": "cutting someone off",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for cutting someone off
|
Been on reddit for about a month or so at this point and this will be my first post so forgive me if I'm doing anything wrong as far as formatting goes or typos. Also a long post so sorry for the long read, just needed to vent.
To start, a little bit of back story is necessary to understand everything in the story. I had met a gal on a dating app about five years ago and we had "dated" for a bit before things went to shit. Now something that's important to know is that she lived in another state, (I know, very dumb and foolish of me) but that didn't matter to me because I loved our conversations and had hoped that maybe we would meet up and see where things went from there. I also confirmed that she wasn't a catfish since that was when the show on MTV just got big and made it one of my main concerns but that's just a random side note. Mind you that I was about a year in a half out of high school at this time and was far from having any sort of money to be able to go on a trip by myself. Nonetheless I went through with pursuing a relationship with her and after we split, we remained good friends but would have moments where we wouldn't talk to each other for a few months here and there. Sometimes it would be because we would fight and make up later. Other times we would just fall off. We'll call her Cali for the story.
Now before any of of that happened it is also important to know this tid bit. A good year or two before I met Cali, I volunteered at a basketball camp that my church held in which a youth group from Missouri came up and helped us out. Now being an awkward/weird kid in in high school, (still awkward, but much more comfortable in social situations, I try to make others laugh with my weirdness) I began to come out of my shell a bit and I would chit chat with some of the nice folk from the youth group. Ended up befriending some of them and adding them on the Book of Face. One of the people that I added was a girl who I had a crush on, but never really thought I had a chance with so it was mostly us making small talk and just catching up every few months. She did come with the group again the next year, but I had a gf at the time so anything with her relationship wise wasn't even a question. We'll call her...Mizzou.
Now fast forward to this year, where I have a better paying job and can actually do some of the things that I want to do on my own. I've also become more confident in myself and I'm not as afraid to ask certain questions. So still having feelings for Cali, I suggest we meet each other in person as we had started to begin falling for each other again. She says yes and I'm like holy shit, this is great! I offered to get a hotel for her to stay in while she visits since she would be the one coming to me. Figured I should definitely help out and try to make it easier on her especially if it was my idea. She later claims that she has a cold and can't come only to later admit that she flaked out on me. Fan-fucking-tastic.
Several months later, I start up with Mizzou again and one day I give her a compliment on her smile or something and she responds surprisingly well to it. So well that she ends up asking me to come out and hang with her. I'm like hold up, you serious my gal? Pffft, hell yeah. We end up at the point to where we're talking all day, every day for a good five months before my journey to visit her. We would snapchat, talk on the Book of Face, Facetime. The whole nine yards. Now over the course of the five months, I'm keeping it cool and just being my naturally weird/awkward self while also flirting with her here and there and letting her know that I'm interested to which she begins to flirt back too. It even gets to a point to where I'm talking about how if I had the chance to date her I would to which she replies, "You never know what could happen" which I respond by losing my shit because that made me so fricken happy. I get the vacation days from work off and I am more than excited to see her again. But what do ya know, her ex shows up about half way through my five/six day stay while I'm there and just makes everything weird. We go from talking and being super pumped and excited to do all this stuff around the city that she planned out each day, to her always being on her phone and seeming kind of distant. And when I mean kinda distant, I mean losing all the motivation to do anything at all. Save for a few moments here and there, she was just silent. Maybe she was embarrassed or old feelings had been brought up again. Anyways she ends up taking me to meet her parents and hang with some of her friends a few nights and I'm like ok this good. I felt a little froze out here and there with her friends, but I blame that on me being nervous around them and just meeting them. Then before I leave she apologized for that lovely guest appearance from her ex and I'm like it's ok. Not your fault. It's fine it is what it is...or is it?
Turns out she told him when I was coming so that he wouldn't pop up and make things awkward, which made absolutely no sense to me. As far as I was tracking, they weren't on good terms based on the break up and what happened after. She was heartbroken over that. And that's totally understandable. I wouldn't have expected her to move on and not let it get to her so soon. Looking back at it now, as much as I hate to say it, she might have looked at me as a way to get her ex back or just make him jealous. I say this only because as far as I know, if she wasn't talking to him while she was talking to me, then why fucking bring it up to him. To me, the chances of him showing up were slim to none if he broke up with her a good eight months or so ago if she had just not told him. So this angered me as I found this out once I returned home but it still didn't change how I felt about her. Me being too caught up in the idea of being in a relationship with her, I had even considered going to a college not too far from her so that way I could finish my degree as well as work on things with her. I ran this by her about two weeks after I got back, and she gave me the standard "idk, I haven't thought about it (it being us dating) too much" and I could accept that. Just to make sure that I wasn't given a bs answer, I asked if what she had thought about us was good or bad to which she said that it was good. Ok, cool so although she didn't say yes to the idea, it wasn't a complete no to it either. Two or three weeks go by again at this point and I'm feeling like our conversations just aren't the same as she is beginning to seem distant. So why not ask the question again! She ends up giving me the same "idk" answer before I tell her to just say what's on her mind straight up. She ends up telling me she isn't ready for a relationship which sucked, but more than anything made me angry as I felt like she had felt that way for some time. I don't mind that she said she wasn't ready, I was just mad because I felt lead on. Needless to say that was all I needed to cut that friendship off. I was just too hurt and upset to be able to talk with her without thinking about all of that. I tried to talk to her in recent month but it's just not the same.
Fast forward to a few weeks ago and I'm telling Cali about this, along with several other stories of me being used recently, and after I'm finished telling her she just disappears, but yet was still posting stories on her snap. This irritated me since usually she would listen to me vent and we could talk about everything but this one time all she says is "that sucks. I gotta go." and when I asked what was wrong she just left me on read. That's cool. I'll bitch about it for a few then I'll probably be over it in a day or two. The next day when I get off shift, I see she messaged me and she apologized saying that what she did wasn't cool but she was a tad bit upset with me. Upset with me over what? I don't get enough sleep already and with work taking up 15 hours of my day, I wasn't exactly in the best mood to hear from her after that stunt the night before. Anyways, I will admit that I responded with a "entertain me" when she asked if I wanted to know why she was upset the previous night. She went on to say that she should "cut my sorry ass" out of her life and that I probably shouldn't be one of her closest friends in the first place. She tells me that she was upset because when we were "together", I hadn't thought about coming to visit her but I did for Mizzou and how she (Cali) didn't mean shit to me. Apparently when I was telling her my history with Mizzou, the only thing she heard was that we had ONLY talked for five months and completely ignored the fact that I had known Mizzou for a good minute. Oh, did I forget to mention that when I first started talking to Cali, she had mentioned numerous times about her town being full of racist, one of which being her step-father. Being a minority, that definitely sounds like a nice place to visit right? I explained all this to her as well as bringing up her backing out on the visit that I mentioned earlier which ended up in us talking things out so we ended up on good terms by the end of the night.
It's been a week since that and we still haven't talked and I'm honestly not upset about that. I feel that if we were as close of friends as she says yet she would drop me over something that in my opinion is extremely ridiculous to even be mad about, then maybe I should be the one distancing her. I have been flip flopping on this idea since. On one hand, I do value our friendship and that's where I think maybe I need to just calm down, but also at the same time I feel expendable if she's willing to cut things off over something like that. I understand how she put that idea together, but I don't think see how she can be upset about it when SHE ba
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
BakdF3SwUHUf0Z2SYg65sUN31rJrL4at
|
amqe73
|
{
"description": "not letting someone come to my party without paying for food",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not letting someone come to my party without paying for food
|
So this Halloween I wanted to invite some friends at my place, nothing too serious, just a small party with a bunch of close friends and some less close guys they wanted to come with. Me and said close friends decided to buy some junk food, candy (what Halloween would it be otherwise) and drinks, mainly beer. My best friend Mark volunteered to bring some weed too.
After we had bought everything I reminded everyone to pay their part, because it was decided from the start that we would have split the bill (the final cost was something around 3$ each). Everything was fine, until one of the not-so-close friends simply wrote in the group chat “Come on, man, why would I pay”.
Confused, I asked him in private what was the deal, the conversation went something like this: (I’ll call him Z for short)
Me: What do you mean why would you pay?
Z: Come on man, don’t be an asshole
Me: How am I being an asshole? Everyone else has agreed.
Z: Are you serious?
Me: Yup.
Z: But I’ve already paid for the weed.
Me: No you didn’t, Mark did. Just pay or bring something on your own.
Z: Like a beer?
Me: Yeah, like a couple of bottles.
Z: Come on man.
This went on for a while, with me telling him to bring something and him just saying “Come on man” like that was the most logical argument he could’ve imagined. It got to the point where I was completely done with this, so I just told him to bring something, pay up or to not show up. He chose the latter.
So, am I the asshole for not letting this guy come empty handed to a party where everyone had helped buying something?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
hDmxFsBOU1KKiNUPhBj7gNcY8Neqs7vU
|
b9yvvi
|
{
"description": "smacking cars that park in crosswalks",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 13
}
|
AITA for smacking cars that park in crosswalks?
|
When I'm a pedestrian approaching a stoplight and a car is parked in the crosswalk, I always slap the back of it a few times real loud as I'm walking behind it. Then I say to the driver, "You're not supposed to park in the crosswalk, buddy!"
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 12,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 13
}
|
WRONG
|
wqKMK8lhNsTrLoOCHKLQq0hEEBKLBHtT
|
b3l3ah
|
{
"description": "\"firing\" my therapist",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for “firing” my therapist?
|
For the past 6 mnths I have been going to a therapist and when I started my treatment, we went over some of the policies and I agreed to the cancellation policy of giving >24 hours notice.
At the beginning, I wanted to schedule frequent sessions as I had a lot of availability. He had limited availability and could only see me every 3-4weeks. In Jan. again, I wanted more frequent session but he had a vacation planned & had limited availability so he could not fit me in for ~ 4 weeks.
In the past 6 mnths I have had a total of 6 sessions. Besides those 6, I rescheduled 1 session with > 24 hours notice, cancelled one session with <24hours notice (for which I apologized and paid the cancellation fee of $90) and took his next earliest opening. Two days ago I called to reschedule my session for this afternoon(once again, providing >24 hour notice). I gave my availability for the remainder of this week and for next week, to reschedule.
Today: He called me this morning and wanting to have a “heart to heart”. He started probing as to why I rescheduled, I explained I have been happy with therapy and that it’s strictly a scheduling issue. I reminded him of how during my last session (2 weeks ago) I discussed over extending myself and am working more than one job at the moment. This is one of the reasons I am in therapy.
However, he didn’t really seem to take this as a good enough response? He kept saying that it wasn’t personal but clearly if I’m having scheduling issues that maybe this is not the best time to seek therapy and kept talking very vaguely about the situation. He then said “do you catch my drift”? So I responded with: “Are you saying that it’s best if we end this professional relationship?”and he said “no, no, that’s not what I’m saying, but can I get you to agree to a consistent schedule and a more than 48 hours cancellation policy?” I agreed to the new cancellation policy.
I explained to him that I had no idea this was causing him such an inconvenience since this is the first time he has mentioned ANYTHING about it being an issue. I provided him with more than 24 hour notice, and the one time that I didn’t, I was very apologetic and paid the cancellation fees. He said that he didn’t want me to feel like this was coming out of the blue but that he has overhead fees and it’s not good for my treatment to not be consistent nor is it convenient for all parties involved.
Anyways, I agreed to the 48-hour cancellation policy, and he reminded me of my next 2 scheduled appointments. I checked my calendar and reassured him that I would be present for both of those sessions.
He then proceeded to say: “I think we need to scheduled anther 4 sessions right now, and have an agreement that if you miss any of those sessions that this therapy is terminated.”
I thought about it and replied with, “ actually, I think it’s best if you cancel the two current appointments that I have scheduled and that we don’t schedule any future sessions”.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
jVay8FC9RcfURTH1YkQjnkoUVdeaEfcL
|
9uz9eu
|
{
"description": "not helping a friend who refuses to help himself",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not helping a Friend who refuses to help himself?
|
A friend constantly messages me for help regarding Uni work. I try to give him some guidance and all but it's getting really obvious that he just want direct answers for his questions. What's even worse is he barely comes in to Uni so it's obvious why he's struggling so much. So for once, I responded that he should have attended lectures to satisfy his questions as they explained it really well there. His reply almost implies that I'm an asshole for not helping a friend in need.
Now, I know people might wonder why this is even a question but this post is really more to do with questioning my priorities, and less on the issue I stated above. I forgot the context but I was once asked by another friend if I value doing well in a test over helping a friend out (not in a life or death situation obviously) and they seem to be shocked when I said yes. Is it bad that I value my future over friendship because honestly, I'm getting really frustrated of looking like the villain all the time since I'm surrounded with friends who values their friendship over doing well in their course.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
2hny951w2lAHGynr0nrD20GeGpk8uRyJ
|
b4q0y6
|
{
"description": "calling someone out",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for calling someone out?
|
This happened just recently so I apologize if I give unimportant details.
I found a video made by a small content creator I have been watching for the better part of a year that I think is incredibly racist. I left a comment about how disappointed I was, but it was an ancient video and I wanted to see if they stood by the video. I left a comment on a video that was released recently, but didn't hear back. Sometimes you get a reply, but you don't get notified, so when I saw they were doing a livestream, I decided to check.
I comb through the comments on the video, didn't find my comment. Checked the three before the one I commented on to see if I just had the wrong one. Not there. I decide that asking on the livestream would be the most direct option. I told them I saw they had a racist video and asked if they still stand by that.
The first time I got ignored. I get it, livestream, might have missed me. I wait a few minutes and tell them I didn't want to make a big shit out of it. I wait a few more minutes, nothing. I try to say that I understood it was a different time when it was made, I just wanted to know if they still felt it was acceptable, but I had been muted. Looking at it now, it was probably the curse word, but I am super insulted. I dealt with racists growing up, so I don't deal well with that. I feel a simple yes or no would have sufficed. I go back to the new video ask the question again, because I wanted to be sure I did in fact leave the message.
I go back to the livestream to see if I am still muted and ask again if they still stood by it. I'm not, so the message goes up and someone tells me to stop trying to start drama. A couple of other people join in. I give the name of the video as proof that I wasn't just making it up, but get told by the creator to stop trying to slander them.
I never said they were racist, but they did make some racist content. I tried to give them the benefit of the doubt, because just because someone does some stupid stuff, doesn't mean it should haunt them forever. I said the title of the video again and said it was racist, I just wanted to know if they stood by it. I was told by other people that it wasn't racist and told I was just a troll, then the creator again told me to stop the slander. I said so you don't feel (the racist stuff they did in the video) wasn't racist? Goodbye. I unsubbed and am hurt about the whole thing. I really liked their content, but I am just not cool with the undoubtedly racist video or being gaslighted.
I won't give the name of the video or the creator, because this really isn't about that. What I want to know is if I am the asshole for trying to get the answer during a livestream? Should I have waited and potentially gotten the question dodged again?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
K5QtXuF37oUgWHODRaB4ptw6DRW6P37a
|
agstcv
|
{
"description": "not feeling like just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean I should be my boyfriends designated driver",
"pronormative_score": 32,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for not feeling like just because I’m pregnant doesn’t mean I should be my boyfriends designated driver?
|
I (19f) am currently 22 weeks pregnant. During this time my boyfriend turned 21 and is overly excited about drinking. Not that he didn’t have access before, but now it’s ramped up because he can buy it himself.
I don’t care that he drinks, but I find it extra irritating that’s it’s ramped up while I’m pregnant. I’m not huge on drinking, but I still feel left out.
On several occasions I’ve driven to family/friends house and he starts drinking without expecting to drive home.
I’ve started to talk to him recently about how he can’t always expect me to drive home and that he needs to ask before he’s going to drink to the point where he can’t drive. He thinks it’s ridicules that I would expect that of him since because I can’t drink, then there’s no reason I shouldn’t be able to drive. Which is dumb because being pregnant isn’t a walk in the park. I get tired easily, I get nauseous, and frankly my irritated self doesn’t like being a chauffeur.
If it was up to me he wouldn’t be drinking for the duration of me carrying his baby, but I don’t want to be completely unreasonable. AITA here??
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 28,
"EVERYBODY": 6,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 3
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 32,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
RIGHT
|
FAK88WyNAxAz9hmcZEj1n3dgfh7TazrJ
|
a822ym
|
{
"description": "not eating the food my coworkers wife made",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not eating the food my coworkers wife made?
|
My coworker got everyone together to let us know his wife was bringing lunch for everyone, she came in at lunch time with beans, rice, and some dish made with goat, I wasn't feeling it so I went out to my car, now everyone is asking why I didn't eat anything. I feel like I kinda disrespected his wifes cooking, but I dont know. Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
bHw3LNy6V9bRFDgpdQCvi8pgcoqxicMR
|
b0v1n5
|
{
"description": "hating my dad",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for hating my Dad
|
Apologies for formatting and length.
Background: Me: 39M, Dad 82 Hoarder. Our relationship has always been “complicated”. As a kid, he was outright abusive. Physically, mentally, and verbally. Just to the kids, he was a devoted and loyal husband. And, he’s an ok grandpa now. As an adult, he mellowed and I started to be forgiving as I started a family of my own.
About 3 years ago, both parents health took a bad turn and mom asked me to take care of him if she died since my sister is essentially useless. I agreed, I KNEW he would die first anyway.
2 years ago, I had a falling out with Dad. Soon after, her health took a sharp spiral. I begged her to move in with us, but she wouldn’t leave him behind. I begged her to move them both into assisted living, that I would pay for, and HE refused. Again, she wouldn’t leave him.
She died last week. Cardiac arrest and the living situation prevented paramedics from getting to her quickly. By the time she was revived she was brain dead. She passed on Friday. I kept my promise though, and handled everything. In process of cleaning the house now and trying to repair relationship with dad for her sake.
Today he said he was thinking of assisted living. Bit my tongue, but I’m LIVID. I was trying not to blame him, but with his change of heart, it’s hard not to. There’s more, but space constraints..
So...AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
YabvKQP5Olr28fkkNsXaKCuXb3GjpzoS
|
an2yoh
|
{
"description": "not wanting to speak with my aunt",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting to speak with my aunt?
|
She is becoming old. Acts like a child and is very annoying.
Has drinking problems which caused our family a lot of issues a year ago.
She lives alone, doesn't have a family of her own.
When talking to me, it's either her nagging about the government, about life, about someone being an asshole or best case scenario, asking me what does this or that "message" mean on her PC screen.
Sometimes she talks to me about something and after when i ask her a question, and the story for example mentions her neighbor, she starts totally different story. Just like a little child.
She loves me very much and is upset when i don't call her - but it is a nightmare for me to speak to her. I have depression of my own to deal with and i can't handle talking to her above all of that.
And most of our conversations are me just giving her Yes/No/Not Sure answers.
I know she is lonely, but so am I with my depression. I can't handle her nagging stories and her being "annoying".
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
WRONG
|
2XQh5zpekBfiIkWKt08A0dyOJncqBzrF
|
b0gl7k
|
{
"description": "not wanting my Fiancé's brother to be one of his groomsmen",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting my Fiancé’s brother to be one of his groomsmen?
|
My fiancé and I recently got engaged, and we’ve started talking about who we would like as groomsmen and bridesmaids. He was originally thinking about having both of his brothers as groomsmen, however his mother said to us to only have one, because the other has schizophrenia. His behaviour is very unpredictable, he’s unreliable in taking his medication, and has previously threatened my fiancé with a knife a couple of times now when he stopped taking his medication. So it makes sense, we agreed that it probably isn’t a good idea, and have now picked who we wanted in our wedding party.
A few days later, his mother has turned around and said to us that his schizophrenic brother now really wants to be a groomsman in the wedding party, sort of nudging at us including him. We said no straight away, telling her that we’ve now picked who we’d like, and his behaviour honestly scares me sometimes. She just replied with “Oh okay” and went quiet.
I still feel like I’m an asshole for rejecting him as a groomsman, he really wanted to be in the wedding party. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
xXnEeFMCQDzmzpaf7D4wdJKi3OSGDm3J
|
alixcb
|
{
"description": "not wanting to talk with my friend about her sex life",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting to talk with my friend about her sex life?
|
I had a pretty big argument with one of my best friends, who I’ve known since middle school (we’re both 19). She recently downloaded tindr and had me help pick out the pictures for her profile. Fine so far. About a week into her experience with the app she started telling me -in vivid detail- of her encounters with various men and women. At first I just listened and tried to change the subject as soon as possible, but then she got a boyfriend and starting reporting on an almost daily basis of what they did, the sex toys they were buying, and how they were implementing them. At this point I got pretty fed up and told her that I thought what she was telling me was a serious breech of trust between her and her partner, that I didn’t want to hear it, and there are some things that she should just keep to herself. She was hurt and offended, and told me that she thought she could be open with me about anything. I repeated that there are just some things you shouldn’t share with others and there are things I wouldn’t share with her, or anyone else for that matter. She became very pissed off at me when I said this and it has spiraled into a huge argument of whether oversharing is really “a thing.” I’m not dumb, I know I’m right in my position that oversharing most certainly exists, no matter how comfortable you are talking about the topic. However, she is right in that we are (were?) very close, and I’m starting to feel like I’m the asshole for not just shutting up and being supportive. I also said some dumb stuff that probably came across as accusatory but was not directed at her and was in the context of a more general situation like talking to a stranger. (“oversharers lack boundaries, come across as desperate, are naive, and it’s just generally not a good a idea, etc.”). Recently, she brought this arguement into our whole friend group, and literally everyone agrees with her that I’m being an ass, and people should be able to be open about whatever they want. AITA and how bad is it?
(Sorry for shitty mobile formatting btw)
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
okJC3D6tbj6wrUKrvhOR1wCKh6kQZDC7
|
b3k62g
|
{
"description": "wanting to share the bathroom with my brother while he cleans his teeth",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to share the bathroom with my brother while he cleans his teeth?
|
My brother went into the bathroom to clean his teeth and locked the door. Now, my brother takes his phone into bathrooms with him, understandably, but this mean he takes AGES cleaning his teeth and washing his face.
I asked my brother to unlock the bathroom door while he washed his face/cleaned his teeth, so that I could clean my teeth at the same time. It was late, and I was getting pretty sleepy.
He was fine, he did it and I opened the door. We started cleaning our teeth.
Cue my dad storming over and calling me unreasonable for wanting to share the bathroom while we cleaned our teeth. Having a generic go, saying I didn’t listen to him whilst expressing that he didn’t want to listen to me.
He says I need to respect my brother’s privacy. This is the second time he’s got angry at me about this.
I don’t think it’s unacceptable to ask to share a bathroom with my brother while we’re cleaning teeth, but AITA for not respecting his privacy?
TL;DR, I asked to share the bathroom with my brother while we cleaned our teeth. My dad kicked right off and told me I wasn’t respecting his privacy.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
sa3pBn3NnxSPUI9DfcL9sYwQjBvdKOeJ
|
a8jler
|
{
"description": "not wanting to make plans on my birthday",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to make plans on my birthday?
|
Hey guys,
Need your opinions on something, because I've gotten a few people annoyed at me over this.
I turn 21 in a few days. Its very, very close to Christmas. My birthday was always overshadowed by Christmas, my friends would always be away or busy and I honestly just never formed the attachment to birthdays most people seem to have.
I've tried. I really have. I threw an 18th and 20th birthday party but they both kinda sucked. People got wasted, my family were all jerks and I spent most of my time dealing with problems. Everybody else had an awesome time, but I didn't.
It kinda strikes me that the times I deliberately don't plan anything awesome stuff happens. I deliberately "go with the flow" on my birthday. That means no firm plans until right before. Its worked for a few years now. It's kinda like my.own personal tradition. Can list awesome stuff that's happened when I do this, but that'd just be bragging.
But this year my family have it stuck in their head that since it's my 21st I *have* to have some sort of event. First they got angry at me over not wanting a 21st party (my mum basically ruined my last party by telling at me over silly stuff and trying to make it her event) and then they got annoyed that I didnt want to go somewhere expensive for a family dinner. My sister and I dont get along due to a long history, and my parents like to pretend it's just normal sibling squabbling; I really don't want a family dinner with her at the table. Got to the point where I was very clearly saying "I dont want to make plans on my birthday" and my mum trying to twist what I was saying into drama. I just walked off.
And now my girlfriend is trying to plan my birthday out. She keeps trying to plan a birthday dinner for the two of us at somewhere fancy, but I've tried to tell her that I don't want anything extravagant. Shes also trying to plan a movie, which I think would be cool, but trying to say that she wants to take me somewhere nice before the movie, as well as pre book tickets. I appreciate the gesture, but it's exactly what I don't want; setting (expensive) things in stone and removing any chance for cool shit to happen to me.
This is already starting to backfire. A piercing studio I like just announced a promotion on my birthday that would make piercings I've been planning for a while significantly cheaper. I feel like this is just the first thing that I'll miss out on if I let people keep planning things for me.
So AITA for refusing to make plans on my birthday, despite the fact it would make my gf and family happy?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
BzmlbUdLSNuxLkPHxiO8ravZJmaeO9Of
|
ack4k3
|
{
"description": "wanting my boyfriend to apologize",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for wanting my boyfriend to apologize
|
Me and him just had some kind of quarrel before over something that happened a long time ago. He insulted my grandpa shortly after his died. I got angry and well, insulted his grandpa back. It was terrible of me. His grandpa had just died and I said something awful about him.
Well, back there it seemed obvious that I was the asshole in the situation. He told me that he didn't even insult my grandpa, that I misunderstood it and that I overreacted and that I'm completely 100% at fault and to blame.
So, a short time ago he confessed to me that he did insult my grandpa. And that he did it because he was jealous and angry that mine was still alive. I couldn't get it out of my head and today I brought this up. Honestly, I wanted him to apologize for what he said.
He didn't apologize. In his opinion I should forgive him because of the situation he was in, and because he had forgiven me for things I said in the past too. And besides he had a good reason for doing this, unlike me.
I don't know what to think. I know that what I did was horrible, but my grandpa is the best person in my entire family. He is the only one that was always nice to me unlike the rest who just treated me badly throughout my childhood. And when he insulted him I got so mad. And I just want him to apologize for the sake of my grandpa.I know I'm a huge asshole often too. I'm sorry if this doesn't fit in or sounds too biased.
I don't want to repeat what I said about his grandpa, but it was way way worse than what he said.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
uVhNoPqehL5tgiTilsFjSS9JOQ9i9scB
|
az9tfm
|
{
"description": "being upset with my parents",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA For Being Upset With My Parents?
|
For background, I'm 17, and I have chores. I have also been sick for the past week. I am also prone to getting hang nails. I also am rarely asked to be hung out with due to refusing so many times due to having to "babysit" my grandmother despite her other son living with her.
I asked to go see a movie with a friend of mine (he asked first if him and I could go) and I thought that I had done my chores "properly" which I had not according to them. Not my fault btw, since the things they complained i did not do I could not do (dishes due to open wounds on my hands, could not put the recycle outside due to the bin being full, and finally my stepdad the slob leaving his beer cans and iced tea cans on the counter despite the beer can box and recycle bag being on his way to the fridge).
My question is, AITA for being upset with my parents?
TL:DR: I couldn't complete my chores to their standards because of things out of my control, prohibiting me from spending time with a friend.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
WRONG
|
Y2d4wPvSZlZ7MpLpXb2Ldle0DgrexMXI
|
9v6mfz
|
{
"description": "trying to get my best friend to eat",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for trying to get my best friend to eat?
|
My best friend is severely depressed after a bad breakup. I learned the other day that she hasn't been eating for days now. I delivered a pizza to her house without her knowledge, left it by the door, and texted her to tell her it was there when I was leaving. She was extremely mad and yelled at me over the phone for it. Am I in the wrong?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
8ThrOm26wwODUC1HaGIggcZU03azl0Mh
|
b9quof
|
{
"description": "reporting someone for cheating",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I reported someone for cheating?
|
My university has a strict no cheating policy with a set guideline for rules and punishments. It's told to us every year in a mandatory meeting and in every single class syllabus but some professors are no the brightest and either don't see it happening or are super lenient about it and choose not to make it a big deal.
For some unknown reason, Biology is taken very seriously at my university. Well I guess because they are the the backbone of the nursing and med school??? Anyway, they have a strict set of topics, rules on how to each the topics, exams, and absolutely no extra credit. Whereas with almost every other class it is up to the professors digression what they choose to do with their class; I've had some who simply give extra credit points for paying attention in lecture and showing up even though my university also has a mandatory attendance policy for every class
On to the cheating, this morning in my biology lecture there was a girl sitting next to me on her phone under the table googling almost every answer while my professor was explaining questions to other kids. The exam was not hard if you did some basic studying but I will admit there was a question or two that I myself was thrown off by
WIBTA if I reported this girl for cheating when she is fully aware of the policy in place and is undermining all the students who actually studied?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 15,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 15,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
NufoTHBgOLi885i1WZSI4LsqoChgz4VJ
|
b5a1yu
|
{
"description": "telling a friend's girlfriend that she's spoiled",
"pronormative_score": 443,
"contranormative_score": 238
}
|
AITA for telling a friend's girlfriend that she's spoiled?
|
Several days ago we invited a friend and his girlfriend over for dinner. Before we start, some background about my friend: I've known him for almost 15 years, he never had a lot of money, but he never let that get in the way. He worked hard, saved hard, and bought things if he decided he really wanted them, but was not a spendthrift. He paid his way through university without taking any loans, working his ass off in two jobs while full time studying. He recently opened a startup of his own which has great potential and has started getting nibbles and several customers, but is far from being a success, or even profitable, yet.
On to the story - they were talking about how they were looking to buy a car (his first), because now that they lived together, she felt that they could split the cost of a car because they were saving money on rent. I could tell my friend wasn't too hot on the expense, because all his money was in the startup and he'd need to take out a loan to get a car, in addition to the loans he had already taken out to get his business up and running. When we were talking about it, his girlfriend kept saying things about how "At 33 years old I shouldn't have to take the bus anymore", and "Taking public transportation is for losers". As someone who bought my first car (used) at 31 because my family was growing, I'll admit I took some offense to that. I've used public transportation for years (and still do) and never considered it "beneath me".
The real kicker came when she started talking about getting a brand-new car, straight from the dealership. Wouldn't even consider getting something a coupla years old. Here's where I may have overstepped my bounds, and told her that her entire attitude is spoiled, and that if she really cared about my friend, she'd realize that he doesn't have the ability to spend that much money, and she should look at something cheaper if she wouldn't deign to ride the bus with the rest of the common folk.
After a minute or so of awkwardness, the conversation switched to other topics and the subject of the car was dropped. After they left, my wife said I shouldn't have called her spoiled to her face and I almost ruined dinner for everyone. My friend told me, though, that she dropped the idea of the brand new car and they're looking at the user car lots.
So, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 134,
"OTHER": 424,
"EVERYBODY": 104,
"NOBODY": 19,
"INFO": 8
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 443,
"WRONG": 238
}
|
RIGHT
|
H2hAFIM27Bt4YOfzkDLcXbkM9GJ1l4vA
|
ajnz2h
|
{
"description": "breaking up with my long term partner over fb messenger",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for breaking up with my long term partner over fb messenger?
|
I know that this sounds very much like I am indeed the asshole but please hear me out.
Break ups are never easy and I understand that but me (22F) and this guy (23) have had a pretty unhealthy relationship from the beginning. He has a bad temper, will occasionally self harm by doing things like punching walls or doors or himself in the face. Even once, during an argument he took a pair of scissors and stabbed himself in the arm. Its a serious problem.
So fast forward to the break up. I've been sitting on these thoughts for around 6 months. He is not the person I want to be with, I am a caring type of person, work with kids, love animals all that kind of stuff. So when I think about raising a family, I literally shudder at the thought of the environment they would be raised in if I stayed with this guy. We have been together for 2 years and yes there have been good times and we are faithful and I would just like to point out he has never physically hurt me etc but it's just not what I want anymore-understandably I think.
I have been preparing, with the support of my family and friends, the absolute best way to break up as to not cause him to self harm or me to end up being involved in his self harm, and so I have a place to live in the mean time etc. I also have a bad experience in the past where I broke up with someone in person and they assaulted me. So the only thing left to do was... the actual break up. I was speaking to my family and talking about how to do it, face to face, send a letter, all the usual stuff when my sister pointed out that she thinks it would just be safer for everyone if I just sent him a message explaining my thoughts. We had already agreed I would spend a few nights at home as he had quite clearly realised that something was up with me so our only communication at this point was through messenger. So I sent him a message. Just saying I think we should end it here and it was better for both of us.
As you can expect, he was very hurt and upset and I said I would explain more in person. I didn't want to go into details over messenger but I wanted him to have a fair head start of the grieving process, just like I have. 2 days on and we have agreed to meet, I have written a letter explaining things in a very diplomatic way (I really struggle with words straight from my head and knew I wouldn't be able to say what I really wanted to).
But now, he is completely flipping out that I disrespected him by telling him over messenger. He says he feels like I never loved him if I can throw it all away in a message. He says it's really inappropriate and that I should have spoken to him so I wasn't so sold on the idea? I have tried to explain that I am doing the best I can in these circumstances, it's not easy for me, I'm just as hurt and upset but it will be better for us both, there's never a right time or way to do it. But he's so stuck on the message part. I don't want him to feel any more disrespected then a break up already is, and I do not have a malicious bone in my body as to want to cause him any more pain than necessary. I just need to know if it was really an asshole move and if it was, what should I have done instead? My sister just made me think about how unsafe it could be and with my experience in the past, even though he has never hurt me, I just felt at the time it was right. But since he has flipped I am completely regretting my decision but still don't know how I could have done it.
I feel like an asshole, but am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
JI9r8Bwn6PoHqVMiBI8ZLYVW5N2liDpa
|
b4t08v
|
{
"description": "making a video trying to cheer up my friend",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I made a video trying to cheer up my friend
|
Hey!
So, my friend has been kinda depressed lately. He's basically convinced himself that he has no good qualities and nobody wants to be his friend.
We talked about for a while, and after he went to sleep, I had the idea of going to the people who are in our mutual friend group and saying, without going into specifics, "Hey, <friend> has been kinda down lately, could you send me a one minute clip of things you appreciate about him?", Which I would compile, to try to cheer him up.
But I'm worried that would be a breach of his trust.
So WIBTA if I asked our friends to make that video?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
t36FwXJZNRQDZUJ49p0r0IMVmYPMmIyi
|
av0qg5
|
{
"description": "not being more sorry",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not being more sorry?
|
So I’m in class, we’re all ready to (finally) leave, it’s the end of the day. I say something to my friend who sits across the aisle from me, and another teacher- the head of the subject- is in here now. (She’s not my teacher, and it notorious for being a piece of shit.) she tells me and my friend to sit down, and everyone else leaves. She tells us to say we’re sorry. My friend does and leaves, and I say it too- not actually meaning it. She tells me to say it again meaning it more, and I tell her I already have. She gives me a lunchtime detention, and then I say “will I still have a detention if I say sorry now?” She tells me yes, so I tell her that I’m not sorry and I leave. (She said i could go, I didn’t just leave without permission.) AITA for not saying sorry with ‘more meaning’ to an asshole teacher (who wasn’t even my teacher)?
Side note: my teacher was just standing there the whole time, not saying anything. I don’t think she would have done this, as she is very nice.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
5NmGntFl33x5QDoRGpUBs8dwH1vy86C8
|
aueijl
|
{
"description": "intentionally ditching my friend",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for intentionally ditching my friend?
|
Backstory; I've known my best friend for 11 years. Not a day goes by we don't talk, or at least it *used* to be that way. Over the last couple of years, he's become more and more flaky as he goes through girlfriends and starts ditching me and his other friends to go be with them. And I don't mean he's making plans as an excuse to not hang out with us, I mean he literally will make plans WEEKS in advance and then bail the day of because he wants to go spend time with her and her group of friends. I've had a multitude of conversations with him about how it's not fucking cool to ditch me like that, and he apologizes only to turn around and do it again. I get that we're teenagers and a bit of flakiness is expected, but when I make plans with TONS of wiggle room and he bails, it gets to be immensely frustrating.
&#x200B;
Recently this behavior started bugging me so much that I flat out started ignoring him when he wanted to make plans, because every time I try to he decides to ditch. Today, we were supposed to hang out and he kept asking when I wanted to hang out; and I pretty much ignored him. Now he's pissed at me for not hanging out with him today.
&#x200B;
So, AITA? Personally, I feel like it's justified for me to do this. Childish, sure, but completely justified considering I've talked to him about this many times and he chooses to piss off every single one of them.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
7fXz0c3xOCuo4kTqCzrZcgNyFO4dCK3B
|
aahkj8
|
{
"description": "not letting a young child cut in line and use the toilet",
"pronormative_score": 242,
"contranormative_score": 48
}
|
AITA for not letting a young child cut in line and use the toilet?
|
This happened years ago on a Ryanair flight and is obviously not a big deal, but to this day I wonder if how I acted was okay or assholish.
So I was sitting in my seat during the flight and got up to pee and change my pad (as - TMI - I was on a heavy day of my period and worried about leakage). I wait in line in front of the lavatory, 2 or 3 people in front of me already waiting as well. After 5-10 minutes it's finally my turn and I move to enter.
Just then a little kid (4-5 years, maybe?) comes running down the aisle, his dad walking a few feet behind him, and kiddo tries to squeeze past my legs into the lavatory as I'm opening the door. I hold my arm out in front of the child and say kindly but firmly "No, you have to wait in line like I did, it's not your turn." Dad says nothing and I move into the stall and close the door. I felt like I was in the right because I had waited in line, I really had to change my pad soon or there'd be blood on my pants, and I thought I was being fair and polite letting the kid know why he had to wait.
Someone gives a few firm knocks on the door but I just say "occupied!" and quickly do my business. As I exit the restroom the dad and child are gone, presumably to use the lavatory in the back of the plane. A male flight attendant, however, is waiting next to the door and in a tone like he has to school an idiot says "What you did was very rude, that was just a child, what if that was an emergency?" In an admittedly snippy tone I replied "What if it was an emergency for me too?" and went back to my seat.
Does not letting a child go first automatically make me the asshole, like that flight attendant thought? I would've let kid and dad cut in line if they'd asked, and feel bad because obviously a child can't hold it in like an adult can, but because of the whole trying to squeeze past me approach, my gut reaction was "no way".
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 39,
"OTHER": 233,
"EVERYBODY": 9,
"NOBODY": 9,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 242,
"WRONG": 48
}
|
RIGHT
|
NYhnNthP4QxnEUO0NVXvQx67gxuxPtdM
|
b0291i
|
{
"description": "purposely making my friend cry",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for purposely making my friend cry?
|
When I was younger (about 12 years old), I would stay up until 3AM on my laptop, mostly just playing video games. I had this friend who could usually take me to midnight, but she was a bit of a jerk. The main reason I still talked with her was for a video game buddy.
Anyways, it was summer when this takes place. It was around 11:30, and I was on a discord chat with her (we had eachother’s phone numbers, but we thought it was cooler to Discord). We were playing a game that was basically the same as Minecraft, but still in the makings. We had been building a house that already looked like crap, and she wanted curtains. I’ll spare you the details from here, since they’re not at all important.
Basically, she gave me a few options, I chose one she hated that went nicely with the house, and refused to back down. She was basically throwing a tantrum at this point, since it was past midnight, and she wasn’t used to being up late. There was also a third friend. I texted him about what was happening, along my intentions in this squabble. He hated her as much as I did, so this worked well. I told him exactly what to say in the group chat between the three of us, right before I sent my own message in there, giving him a choice between all of the curtains. I didn’t care about the curtains AT ALL.
Was I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
WRONG
|
ENO2pkv7Mn8EfuSpzhc5Kjzh4ew9pxTp
|
b0ktsp
|
{
"description": "not showing up for my friend's 40th birthday",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
WIBTA if I don't show up for my friend's 40th birthday?
|
Here's the deal: my friend's 30th birthday is going to be within a few days and his wife is throwing him a party at their place. She invited me and all of his friends to a facebook group in order to invite us. I agreed enthusiastically to her proposal because I really wanted to be part of his 30th birthday.
It was only after having a closer look that I realized that my friend's sister is also part of this facebook group. And only a few minutes after I realized this she wrote back that she and her fiancé would attend as well. Now here's the thing: some two years ago me and her had an affair that lasted for almost a year. Things were kind of intense and by the end of said year she wanted to take it to the next level, i.e. have an actual relationship with me.
While enjoyed being with her, I just didn't have any feelings towards her. I liked the sex, her company and everything about her - but I just didn' have any feelings towards her...I couldn't explain it. It was then that she told me that she wanted to end the affair because of my lack of commitment. I understood her position and we agreed to part ways. There was no hostility or fighting. We agreed to remain in touch, though.
Now, I know it sounds stupid: but a few monhs afer we broke off, I started to miss her terribly and regretted it immensily that I could not commit. But by that time she already hooked up wih anoher guy and they're now engaged.
It seems that I had feelings for her nevertheless - and might still have! I still fantasize about her quite often. And it is therefore that the thought of having to spend an entire evening in the same room with her and her fiancé makes me feel terribly uncomfortable. If I had realized that she had been invited as well, I would have come up wih an excuse and declined the invitation. In this case, however, I agreed to attend without checking beforehand whether she would attend as well. I just don't know how I will react in this situation: I might be horny, angry, drunk or any of the above.
Because of that I'm considering of coming up with an excuse (i.e. a lie) and tell his wife hat I cannot attend. WIBTA?
Tl;dr: Agreed to attend a friend's birthday party without knowing that his sister and her fiancé would attend. I once had an affair with said sister and still have feelings for her: I think about cancelling my plans to attend his party, which makes me feel kind of shitty.
Also: nobody, not my friend nor his wife, nor anybody in our mutual circle of friends knows that I had an affair with my friend's sister.
&#x200B;
&#x200B;
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
3WEyiYNbE3kgPnn0ZsZG1AWJ82pQPUE2
|
aseqi2
|
{
"description": "speaking Spanish to spanish lawn care workers",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for speaking Spanish to Spanish lawn care workers?
|
This happened a couple of years ago, and I still occassionally think about it.
In high school, I had a friend who I walked home with from the bus stop every day after school, since we were neighbors. I'd known her since I'd moved to that small neighborhood some ten years prior; we were never really close friends, but rather more close acquaintances, as we were the only two people roughly in our same age group living there. Nothing more than a three-four minute chat about the school day, the weather, or, occasionally, gushing about some new album that'd come out recently.
One particular Friday afternoon, the neighborhood was filled with noise. About two or three houses that day were getting work done on various parts of their house, their front lawn, or their backyard. We were chatting it up and laughing about something my Spanish teacher, whom we had a mutual dislike for, had done that day. Passing by a small group of the people working on the front lawn, I waved and said 'Hola!' They waved back with smiles.
About seven seconds later when we'd passed them, my friend stopped and heavily scolded me. In fact, I think she was about to blow a fuse; I'd never seen her angry in my entire life, let alone this angry. She yelled that it was extremely offensive and racist to speak to them 'in that way,' saying 'They speak English, ya know! That was so insensitive!'
I was dumbfounded. Startled and frightened, I just mumbled 'yeah, sorry, sorry' till I finished walking home. In the shower later that day, I was still thinking about what I'd done wrong -- how could saying 'Hola' to *Spanish* people be offensive? In context, I felt like an asshole. But if one of the workers walked up to me or her and said 'Hi,' in English, would I have the right to be offended?
Was I being culturally insensitive or something? Since it was a Friday and the weekend passed before Monday, I couldn't tell if she either forgot or if she had put it past us. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
CDJz6T2ovvj4PV3WrwIMOdYX7lcSOvMN
|
9wlms6
|
{
"description": "selling my Ex-BF/EX-Roommates things 1+ years after he moved out",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA if I sold my Ex-BF/EX-Roommates things 1+ years after he moved out?
|
Title sums it up.
My ex boyfriend moved out of my apartment July 2017, to another state, he gave notice to vacate to the landlord. I resigned my lease in January 2018, now I’m moving and don’t plan on moving his stuff.
I plan on sending irreplaceable pictures and things to his sister.
Would I be an ass hole if I gave the majority of the rest of his stuff to Good Will, and selling things I can’t ship?
We haven’t had contact from either end for over a year. There’s 2 full closets of things He has left behind.
Also, just keep in mind this isn’t out of spite, breakup was mutual, he moved for better opportunities on the west coast, my current SO and I have gotten the new place together.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
Uh1nOzMdSMvSY7XsJs4SNfV7XGbPUOiM
|
asr5ym
|
{
"description": "not giving my friend rent money",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not giving my friend rent money?
|
So I've known this guy for years. He was considered a brother to me and my brothers. He joined the Navy and fell out of contact with them. I stayed in contact and we would game on a consistent basis. Texting and some phone calls, but he lived in a different state. Fast forward to recently. He works at a delivery job and interns on the weekend, so he has minimal income. He also just bought a guitar and constantly buys airsoft stuff. He texts me that he couldn't afford rent and that his check bounced. He asks me if I can help him in anyway, even like $15.
I was iffy about helping with money as I know his situation. I know he doesn't make a lot and I know he would possibly be in this situation next month. So I said I'd love to help, but first do you have a savings plan in place or are you looking for a better job? Something to signal to me that he doesn't just want me to fix his problems and make it better. He said forget it. And hasn't texted me since.
I've worked hard to become as financially stable as I am and I would absolutely pay his whole rent this month, but I can't get into a situation where I am constantly bailing him out. I fell into that with a former coworker and it caused a divide when I stopped paying for his food almost every day.
I want to help him, but I just wanted to make sure that he is happy and stable or at least has a plan. I've got a child on the way and I can't be as loose with money, but I also don't want to he an asshole.
So TL: DR Friend came to me asking for money for rent, I was willing to help but wanted to know his game plan for the future, and he got mad.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
ncW7mDtDFvAjDnBfbHskjqLWAj5CtNzs
|
amcw6f
|
{
"description": "not loving my stepdad",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
Aita for not loving my stepdad
|
My mom got remarried when I was in eighth grade. At first I liked my stepdad but then when he started living with us I started not liking him. He’s not abusive or anything but he is obsessed with cleaning and a control freak with no imagination. He says he loves me which is fine but whenever he talks, my blood boils for god knows what,
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
mtgfSqxfbMg29lY9aidoO9XiyUeVs9Bs
|
b0kall
|
{
"description": "asking my so to eat like a normal human being",
"pronormative_score": 56,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for asking my SO to eat like a normal human being?
|
So my SO and I are both a little bit messy and I'm not nitpicky but sometimes he goes overboard with that. Like throwing a wet towel on the floor after the shower and not picking it up for hours. We don't live in a fucking hotel and I hate stepping on a wet towel. If I tell him to pick up after himself a bit he sometimes gets mad and calls me 'mom' sarcastically. Which I really hate btw. However today we got in a big argument, I made pancakes and when I put them on the table he took one with his hands and turned to the computer. I told him that there are plates and silverware and he should use this instead of eating with his hands. He got mad, called me mom, said I treat him like a five year old etc. I got mad as well because I don't want to feel like his mom, but I think it is not too much to ask for him to use a knife and a fork if he's eating something greasy. I don't care about crumbs on the floor or something, but fatty fingerprints are so unnecessary. I'm really frustrated now. Am I the asshole here or is he overreacting?
If it matters, we live together. It's not like I'm trying to mess with his own flat, it is my home as well.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 53,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 3
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 56,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
RIGHT
|
Tp7PVuq8MMhwYdg7dEFsQiRAwAjlAcuu
|
b84klm
|
{
"description": "telling a girl I'm seeing about my inner darkness",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 25
}
|
AITA for telling a girl I'm seeing about my inner darkness?
|
so i (19M) am sexually seeing a girl (19F), we are thinking of taking it further into a relationship. we both agree on this, however i told her that i wanted to talk to her.
she asked what's up, and i said it flat out, we need a serious convo. That i have an ''inner darkness'' about me. She didn't understand what i meant, basically this is what it is - everyone thinks i'm a good guy, and i am usually nice to most people, but that shouldn't mean that people should underestimate me or try to walk all over me.
She said she doesn't walk over me and i said i know that, i said i'm just reassuring we, once we start dating, if any guy tries to do anything bad to her, that they will have to deal with me, and that i can be scary when i'm serious, so i said to her just make sure there's not any guys who try to take advantage of her, because she's friends with some quite aggressive douchey guys.
she seemed confused, but said ok. I told her again that my ''inner darkness'', as i like to call it, is something that is with me. On the outside, i'm a good guy but when i want, i can be a real mean bastard. she seemed confused as to what i meant, now she told her friends i was saying weird shit and one of them called me asshole. So i said back ''don't talk to me like that. ever'' and she shut up, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 25,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 25
}
|
WRONG
|
fxX550sJ9esHWaZTvFHY68XJOX04fDzJ
|
aptz8h
|
{
"description": "asking my roommates to pay equal shares of the electric bill",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for asking my roommates to pay equal shares of the electric bill?
|
I live in an apartment with two other roommates while we are all going to college. They are both out of state students so during the winter break, they go home to their parents' houses. Last week, we got the bill for the period of break and they told me they didn't feel comfortable paying 1/3 shares (which was only $35) of it because they weren't here.
My defense was that the heat has to be on no matter what because it gets down below zero here and the pipes freeze, so our landlord asked everyone to keep it on, and I tried my best to use as little extra heat as possible to keep myself warm and did things like seal the windows to keep the heat in. Also, I think that we don't actually pay the electric bill based on individual power consumption anyway since that would mean stuff like whoever turns more lights on would have to pay more, and if I'm away for more weekends out of the month, I pay less.
AITA for asking them to pay 1/3 each? It would be really hard for me to afford the majority of it because I can barely get any work hours in because of my busy class and extracurricular activities schedules. Also, their parents pay all of their bills anyway so I don't understand why they're being so adamant about this.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.