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{
"description": "kicking my sister out of the Wi-fi when I want to play an online game",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 31
}
|
AITA for kicking my sister out of the Wi-fi when I want to play an online game?
|
I live in a pretty small village and the internet here is shit. If one device in our network streams netflix in 1080p, others can barely look at videos, nothing more than 480p is possible.
There is not much we can do about this internet situation, it's just that the cables are quite old and due to us living in a valley mobile internet is just as bad. It's really annoying.
Then there is my sister, not knowing about technology, just watching netflix all day on her smart tv she got for christmas. And im okay with watching youtube in just 480p and waiting a little longer to browse websites.
But when I want to play any online game (I mostly play about 1-2 hours, not all day) that is even remotely competitve it's just not fun. My ping spikes to 300 and I just lag out completely.
That is why I have to block her from the Wi-Fi, (our router doesnt have Qos, so i have to block her ip adress completely). Most of the time I only kick her out for the time I want to play my games, but honestly I sometimes forget to put her back in after I stop playing.
Most of the time she doesnt even look at her TV and is on her smartphone, or she is even already asleep. I tried talking to her, but she doesn't get how that's an issue to me.
So, what do you think, AITA for kicking my sister out of our Wi-fi network while I play online video games?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 22,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 9,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 5
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 31
}
|
WRONG
|
FHMAHjwT0N5k9iW1QFLjCXFnbtdVsrA4
|
ba6n69
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{
"description": "breaking up with my gf over phone",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for breaking up with my gf over phone
|
So guys the title seems a bit overreacted but I wanted to meet with my ex tonight to speak with her about our relationship and the future of it (I was pretty much thinking about breaking up/ already set on) so she noticed I was distancing myself from her already over WhatsApp no hearts and stuff like that, so she pretty much realised how it would end tonight and called me and asked me if I want to break up and she would spare herself the trip if I would break off anyway and she would not stand it hearing in in front of herself, so I just told the truth, that I don't love her to the extend she loves me (I'm actually kinda still in love or better to say have feelings for her but I know I would not be happy with her in the long run) that I feel bad for it and all that we spoke a bit longer but in the end she just said I crashed her world with it and yeah we stopped talking and in the end we quitted the call. Now Im feeling actually quite shitty about the whole situation but in the end I also feel like a total gutless asshole for quitting over the phone.
But I also have a whisper in my head that I could not have done anything else anymore and I'm not to hate for breaking off via phone so AITA?
I just want to know If I should also hate me for breaking off over the phone or only for kinda destroying her. (she was really attached to me but as stated I don't see any future as partners and it's better this for the Long run)
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 8,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
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|
a8ycqo
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{
"description": "not wanting to give my GF's brother a christmas gift after he didn't invite me to dinner",
"pronormative_score": 24,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to give my GF's brother a christmas gift after he didn't invite me to dinner?
|
So my GF and I have been together for 7 years and we're planning to move in together next year (we're both 26).
His brother (32) recently moved in with his GF and never had a chance to have a proper housewarming dinner until now. We've talked multiple times about what to cook at said dinner, how I was gonna make his favourite cake (I'm a baker) and other general plans.
Last night my girlfriend let me know that the housewarming dinner was going to be held on thursday but that he wished to invite only family and that he specifically asked that I didn't come because it was too much of a special moment.
My Girlfriend also let me know that he didn't buy me a gift this year (when questioned he said it was weird to give gifts to your sister's boyfriend).
I bought him a very rare edition of his favourite book but honestly I don't feel like giving it to him now, what he said and did made me feel like after 7 years I'm still not considered family and that hurt.
So AITA for not wanting to give him his Christmas gift?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 23,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 24,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
H1hXSbXCYTUfZLhE0lYJPnPCTtBjVQ33
|
9wn1mn
|
{
"description": "fabricating a pregnancy scare to get my childhood bully removed from my second grade class",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for fabricating a pregnancy scare to get my childhood bully removed from my second grade class?
|
Obligatory *was.* And by that, I mean almost *twelve years ago.*
When I was in second grade, I was part of a super Protestant charter school down South. Nice complex. While I wouldn't call it strict, there were very mouthy staff, and God help you if you breach dress code or get the slightest bit dirty. I didn't really "get" Christ, but it gave me some place to be, so for the first grade it went okay.
Then I moved to second. There was a new challenge.
Like many others, I had tormentors, but one I didn't take as seriously was a gal. We'll call her Dixie. I think she's why I picked up a swearing habit. Bitch was a redhead twice my size - and made sure I knew that, because she wanted me to know that I was *beneath her*. She'd trail behind me in the hallway, repeat hide my homework behind bookcases I couldn't possibly reach without unleashing my most autistic form. Now if this was adulthood we wouldn't be having this discussion, but I was a second grader. You just didn't do that shit.
Me, initially rational (and a snitch I guess), decided to tell the teachers that *hey Dixie is being annoying, can you please make her stop.* After promising that, the principal decides to up and do nothing.
The bullying got worse. I mean, thanks to her, I got to know what mud tasted like. At this point, something had to be done, and the only question was *what?* The teachers were always watching me because unlike Dixie, mama decided to let the teachers know I was an angry little shit. Add to that me skipping all the God segments to fuck off and do whatever, and you got a faculty that didn't really want much to do with me.
Of course, getting Dixie to leave me be meant taking more creative measures than smacking people upside the head with church ornaments, or some other form of sucker-punching. I'd endure being nothing for a while until, for God knows why, one of the daytime shows were on. Someone trying to figure out who the baby daddy was.
That channel got changed as soon as mama walked back in the room, but when I heard all the screeching on TV, i decide, yeah, that's brilliant! That'll put some attention on her. I get the stepstool, fetch the test, fill in the lines with pink, and call it a day.
So, when bully leaves the classroom, I slip the test in her bookbag pocket. She pulls it out in the middle of class, and the teacher starts *screaming.* Like, freaking out, holding her mouth. Like I didn't read emotions at all (I must have lost a hundred bucks to scammers at lunchtime) but even I could tell she was really uncomfortable.
All I saw was the girl getting picked up by her parent in a dinky Cadillac and zooming off from the lot. No one really knew what happened to Dixie, but I didn't have to deal with her again, which gave me all the peace and quiet as I wanted. Not that it mattered, because a week or two later I ended up transferring into public school for being a 'bad fit,' but what can I do.
It wasn't easy to reflect on something that happened so long ago, but...it's over. It's been dead and buried as the teacher probably intended.
Take being an unknowing kid, take all sentiment, all of that nonsense out of the picture: did this make me an asshole? Is there something I'm missing here? I trust that you guys can pick this apart to the truth.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
OAmao647kmlnD9dJojiPclVarqazMFrK
|
ae9rh3
|
{
"description": "putting my feet on chairs",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for putting my feet on chairs
|
I am a very short person, so short that my feet do not normally touch the ground when properly sitting in any sort of chair. For further context, I also have back problems so sitting for extended periods of time make me uncomfortable. Ever since I have sat in chairs I have opted out of the traditional posture and have usually opted to sit crisscross. I typically start by sitting in the typical position with my feet dangling, but one by one pull them up. As time progresses I usually uncross one leg and put it directly up to hold it against my chest. I fidget a lot and as time progresses I go through the sitting positions dozens of times. I consistently do this in class, leisurely at home eating meals, during meetings, and of course at work. I have always regarded this as jus having an eccentric sitting style. However, recently as I have started university I have felt very insecure about my seating positions and that maybe I am being disrespectful to my teachers and boss. So I have to ask, am I an asshole (more, am I being disrespectful) by not sitting properly in class? Am I ruining the furniture by putting my feet on it? These are typically plastic seats connected to a desk. I would like to say that no one has mentioned anything to me personally, no one has even given me a dirty look. This is something I'm really on the fence about because on one hand I feel that putting my shoes on the chair might make someone uncomfortable or feel that I am destroying their property, but on the other hand I feel that truly no one cares or even looks or pays attention and I'm just over thinking it. However, I just wanted to post here to hear what others believe. Thank you for any judgement.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
tZOFbzQoqQLGVzMKwa2IzCG8J5VVEvwJ
|
9w5gm5
|
{
"description": "being vocal with a co-worker",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being vocal with a co-worker?
|
Short and sweet.
We recently hired several new employees to a growing small business. One employee particularly constantly states that he was a manager somewhere else ALL THE FUCKING TIME. After just a week it has grinded my gears so much I had to say something.
For me, it's not the fact that he was a manager somewhere else, it's the fact that after saying this, he will command other employees around and act as though God died and he has stepped in. Also, he is not a manager here. He is an employee, just like the other 6 employees who are all on the same pay rate (this was visually proven, which is why I know). He also makes it seem as though he has some fiery work ethic. However, he stands around lazily like all the other employees while I do inventory, product placement, web development, marketing, pricing, and other assorted responsibilities involved with my job. I was not asked to do any of it. Our bosses love seeing ownership of ones responsibilities which I cordially oblige every shift. The mentioned employee does not do any of this, despite "being a manager somewhere else".
So, AITA? Thanks in advance to anyone who can elaborate with their point of view! (First time post here)
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
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}
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OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
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}
|
RIGHT
|
RWnCbgwWWETpCXi9HycLLndBGtGoYDMz
|
axpez8
|
{
"description": "cutting off a girl I was interested for turning me down for someone else",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For Cutting Off A Girl I Was Interested For Turning Me Down For Someone Else
|
I \[26M\] went to the bar by myself after a bad day. I met this girl (Blue) \[21F\] and her friend (Red) \[21F\]. Eventually I made it clear after a bit I was trying to meet someone, short or long term. Blue said she's been talking to this guy but it's not anything and she doesn't really like him. She just left an abusive 2 year relationship and just met him. Red interjected with "She's single" multiple times and was insistent I should make a move.
They mention the guy has no phone, no car, 3 kids, 2 baby moms and is controlling. She is going to tell him to back off. We dance/drink and she's saying how fun I am, she wants me to go to this party and both of them insisted on getting my snap chat. Eventually I drove them home.
We start snapping she's telling me she's having that conversation with him. I say "okay because I'd be interested in dating and not really friendship." She's like "yeah btw I want you to come to this party with me" Super insistent. I go and the other guy is there. She says "I had that talk with him but I told him like 2 weeks ago he could come to this party" I'm confused, whatever. I spend the entire night with Blue. Eventually the guy spends the rest of the night puking. At some point I asked why she would invite me out with the guy. "I made it pretty clear I was into you, this is pretty uncomfortable" "I didn't think about it, I wanted you to come" We all stay at a friends house.
Keep talking everyday, we're multiple plans for the upcoming weekend. I'm really into her by now, like in a way I haven't felt about a girl in awhile. After some flaky replies I ask like "hey what's up, anything going on?" she said "Nothing. But I'm just wanting friends, I already told you I was talking to someone"
Then she back tracked what she said she wanted from me and now wanted to bring this guy along on a night out together we had planned. She says how fun I am, want's to go out and wants to have fun because she's finally out of her old abusive relationship. I stopped replying, I felt rejected and confused. I feel guilty that I'm pulling some r/niceguys stuff but I feel like I was upfront about my expectations. I felt like we were dating and was vocal about it.
AITA for not wanting to be her friend? If she had said from the beginning she wanted to be just friends I would've been fine. She's made me feel like maybe I was forcing it. And since meeting Red at the bar we have become friends. I have plans with her and her SO. I ask Red if she knows anything and she's said "I'm not sure what she's doing, I've told her how much I hate that guy." I feel weird being friends with her best friend and not wanting to be her friend because of my own issues. It's been a week but I can't get this situation out of my head.
​
TL:DR: Met a girl, said I'd want a relationship, we hang out a bit. She goes with another guy, still wants to be friends. I don't.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
MUJLxzZONus5R6ZzajJgmlWy5zWraCRv
|
aqw669
|
{
"description": "not wanting to be second choice",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For not wanting to be second choice?
|
Okay,
I literally posted on this Subreddit yesterday.
Life isn't great lmao.
Anyway. I'd been talking to a girl online. We knew each other in real life. I've met her, she used to live near me until she moved away. We were pretty close.
Now. Maybe a month or so ago our messages stated to become a but more flirtatious.
Now I didn't mind this. I found this girl attractive and I would be open to a relationship if we got further into the future and got to know each other even more.
We carried on chatting and, to me, but obviously not to her, it felt like we were unofficially dating.
As I asked, "What are We?"
To which I got this response.
"I just don't know.. I'm really confused.. Because you're really nice but.. Idk. I've been chatting to someone else aswell named ____"
Now, I just found this incredibly immature. But okay. Whatever. I decided to ask about ____, maybe they were an amazing match.
Turns out they'd been chatting for a week at most, and that _____ lived over 8 hours away if you were to take a plane. Now, obviously I don't care that it was long distance. I just felt slightly offended. I've had bad long distance relationships before, where I've been cheated on. But that's just me being bias and I didn't bring that up in conversation.
After that, our flirting dropped drastically.
Later on that day. She revealed to me that they'd started dating. I didn't object or say anything. Cool. She obviously preferred this girl over me and I couldn't change that.
Our flirting stopped completely. I didn't want to get in the way of this relationship and I was feeling a little disappointed.
Okay. So maybe a week ago, she broke up with this girl. And she told me, then proceeded to say,
"Now we can date!"
I said no. Because I didn't like feeling like something that this girl had as a second choice. And even if that wasn't her intent, I can't help feeling like that. But she has been awfully cold with me lately and I miss our friendship. I just don't feel like getting into a relationship with her.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
WRONG
|
iFIkMbWZk3QGdR5aG6bTfB4U0SZxwip2
|
b2b4ys
|
{
"description": "not wanting to re-friend someone",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for not wanting to re-friend someone?
|
A while back my group of friends decided to go to a party at a hotel. We decided that before the party we would all meet at Gerald’s house and take a ride in Gerald’s car because it would be packed and finding parking for a single car would be easier than finding parking for 5 cars.
It’s all fine and dandy through the party and then Gerald says, guys, we’ll be leaving at 2AM (it was 1:30 AM). We were fine with it. Victor decides to go over to where Karl was to tell him that we’re leaving in 30 minutes to which he replies: “Nah man I’m having fun”. Victor didn’t think anything of this because we still had 30 minutes.
At 1:55, Victor goes over to Karl and says: “dude our ride is leaving”.
Karl: “Nah man, I aint leaving”
Victor:”Idk man find another ride then”
Karl: “nah you guys aren’t gonna leave me”
We walked up to the car and left. When we’re just a few blocks away from the hotel a friend of ours call that was in the party calls someone in the car and it was Karl: “WHAT THE FUCK YOU ASSHOLES, MY FUCKING STUFF IS IN GERALD’S CAR, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ALL OF YOU I LITERALLY DONT WANT TO FUCKING SEE ANY OF YOU EVER AGAIN”.
Personally I laughed because it seemed childish and petty. Whatever. We stopped at a local 24 hour diner and when we were leaving Karl shows up at the parking lot asks to get his stuff from the car and leaves.
It’s been like 2 years and I haven’t talked to Karl but he has slowly rejoined the group and nobody else seems to care he didn’t say he was sorry for being a little bitch (I think he was being a little bitch). When he’s at the same place I am I just don’t talk to him, if he asks something or says a joke I’ll laugh maybe but I don’t directly get involved with him. I think he should apologize. More recently he’s started to speak to me directly but I just give the vaguest excuse to leave and go socialize with someone else.
AITA for expecting someone to recognize he was just a whiney child or should I just forget anything happened?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
WRONG
|
c3P9Gd6NLpXK8ftXTeuSYqwuuG6XB5eu
|
anduoh
|
{
"description": "hanging up on a conference call with my family because they didn't like me reprimanding my kids and in turn disrupting the call",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 15
}
|
AITA for hanging up on a conference call with my family because they didn't like me reprimanding my kids and in turn disrupting the call.
|
My mom isn't in the best of health. She's always had surgeries and a list of other ailments. Yesterday she got on group text and asked all four of her children to a 8pm conference call.
8 o'clock rolls around and the call commences. There aren't 4 kids on the line but 2. I'd like to mention it was the only 2 kids out of the 4 who had children of their own. This isn't important but it pisses me off.
The call in total lasted about 10-13 mins before shit fell apart.
The call consisted of what we can do to help my mom who lives in a different state. As were talking I'm patrolling the house making sure my kids are in bed. As I'm doing this low and behold my boys who share a room are going at it. I do my daddy duty and go on. About 10 minutes later I catch them doing something else. I honestly can't remember because as soon as I got the first 3 words out my sister asks me if I take this seriously because I'm reprimanding my kids while on this call. I softball it then she hits me with something along the lines of, "Your wife is lazy because she cant keep the kids in the room for 10 minutes while you're on a important call." I said, "You expect my wife to split herself into 3 separate people and watch all 3 kids simultaneously?"
I'd like to add that my wife has Lupus and Fibro. Not only that but my family is well aware the my wife has Lupus and Fibro. Not only that but you scheduled a fucking conference call the minute my kids go to bed. I digress.
We go at it, I tell her off and ask my mom to finish. She doesn't say anything for a good 10 seconds so I hang up.
This morning I woke up to a text from my mom explaining how my sister was right and I need to apologize to her. In a nice way I told her to get bent and my sister is an ass.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 8,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 15
}
|
WRONG
|
75ETDMniv4YPjHaPA0Wmb2BDNPIzt4nQ
|
9waeno
|
{
"description": "not wanting to be friends with a special needs student",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to be friends with a special needs student?
|
Just for clarification and simplicity, I am going to call the peer in question Jeremy (and that's not his real name) and say that he might have some special needs. A teacher accompanies him to most of my classes, and from what I've heard, I think that might be the case. I'm not a psychologist, so I'm not too sure.
So, here's the details. I am currently a senior in high school, and the seniors have their own separate wing in the cafeteria space to sit. I sit in this wing with my lifelong friends, and we always allow other people to chill with us and talk if they want. We usually just goof off and quote bad 80's movies, but occasionally we talk about some pretty political stuff.
Why do I mention this? Because Jeremy decided to sit with us one day during lunch (I didn't have a problem with that initially), but he quickly asserted himself as the "stinker" in the group. Every time we would talk about something that would invite some serious discussion, he would either say something so unrelated to the topic or he would say the most offensive thing relating to that topic thinking he's funny. That pisses everybody off and makes the whole table cringe.
For example, if we would be talking about politics, he would either start talking about Fortnite and throw a fit at the rest of the table for the rest of us about not wanting to talk about it, or he would say the most offensive thing relating to that topic thinking he's funny. I even remember one time when we were talking about Holocaust deniers, and he looked straight at me and says, "Jews deserve to burn in hell, anyway" with a smile on his face, and this kid knows I am Jewish.
In addition, he sits next to me in English and in Math, and he ALWAYS COPIES MY PAPER. He doesn't even attempt to hide it, either. When there's a group project, he asks to be in the group that me and my friends are in, but he never does any of the work, and throws a fit when we don't actually want him in any groups in the future.
This leads to me sitting down to write this post, am I the asshole for not wanting to associate with him? I really do feel like I am. He's never really had any friends, and I think being with our group has given him some sense of accompaniment, but he's toxic to the rest of us.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
ZcoKRlEUkwKNeZ1KZnHjjqUVxwih9ESV
|
b1jvaq
|
{
"description": "not wanting to go to SIL's destination wedding, even when we can afford it",
"pronormative_score": 53,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for not wanting to go to SIL's destination wedding, even when we can afford it?
|
Not sure if anyone cares, but for those that missed it: I posted earlier about my SIL’s $5,000 destination wedding. We hinted that we might not be able to go and she sort of freaked out.
​
Anyways, SIL calls and asks if she’d be able to come over. She is cleaning her closet out and has a bunch of old clothes to give me. I tell husband and he is completely shocked. He said that she has never given anyone her old clothes before.
​
She comes over with two full sized garbage bags full of clothes, and we start going through them. They are all designer clothes in mint condition. I’m modelling them for her, and she is hyping me up, telling me how beautiful I am. I’ve never really been accepted by my husband’s family, so this whole thing really meant a lot to me.
​
And then she gets to the bottom of the clothes, and pulls out this absolutely stunning dress. She tells me that she wants me to wear the dress to her wedding. And that it has such strong sentimental value to her, and that she’d never give it to anyone else except for me.
​
I told her that I loved the dress, but we still weren't sure if we'd be able to make it due to cost. She was very upset, and told us that after all she had done for us, she at least expected us to be there for her.
​
After, my husband told me he felt guilty for missing her wedding after she had been so nice to us. Along with the clothes she gave me, she has also given us her old car, and other misc. stuff.
​
We decided to sit down and crunched the numbers again since I just got a raise at work. If we put a little bit aside each month, and pull some money from our saving, we should be able to afford it.
​
I’m still nervous though. If we have any unexpected expenses, we’d be in trouble. And let’s be honest, if something goes wrong it’s going to be when we are broke.
​
So, AITA for still not wanting to go to the wedding after everything she's done for us? I feel like a total piece of garbage.
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 44,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 9,
"INFO": 1
}
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OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 53,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
7IpApM6AJsRRRbZU6Pfa335k75WztA6Y
|
9ye4eb
|
{
"description": "being friends with my best friend's ex",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being friends with my best friend’s ex?
|
My best friend has been broken up with her ex for about 8 months and they are on friendly terms, but I know my friend still has feelings for him. She has always made that clear. I didn’t hang out with her ex at all for about the first 4-5 mon they were broken up because I was conveniently traveling at the time.
I started hanging out with her ex about 3 mon ago, when I got back into town, and our friendship has grown a bit during that time. I’ve had a really hard time navigating this situation because I have been friend’s with her ex independently of her (i.e. we didn’t meet through her, but we’re all students at the same school, different years though). Unfortunately, he is one of my few other friends that lives in my area and the only other friend that shares an interest in packing (going on trips with pack animals), which is something I don’t feel comfortable doing on my own, so I would be giving up a bit on pursuing that hobby with my pet donkey for the time being without his friendship.
In an effort to try and remain friends with both parties, I have tried very hard to be completely transparent and keep my friend in the loop on everything that happens between her ex and I. I let her know when we hang out/see each other, details about our conversations, etc. Basically trying to make sure she isn’t left to speculate whether we are acting in any way besides friends, which we aren’t. I honestly have zero interest in him as anything other than friends.
At points, she has said that she thinks it’s a good idea for both of us that we are friends. She knows that we both don’t have a ton of other friends in the area and share a lot of the same interests, so I think she was trying to be noble and unselfish in that statement. I question in light of the recent reaction she had to the news that I am
going on a trip together with her ex (a trip she was also invited on) that she may not have sincerely meant it.
Obviously, one solution is that I could stop being friends with her ex, but I’m wondering if it should have to come to that. Am I being an asshole in this situation?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
EcUOpQS09tGmdSmJtxLotXQwPR2eDM2w
|
b5a0az
|
{
"description": "not going to my friends bachelor party",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not going to my friends bachelor party?
|
Long story short
A good friend of mine decided to go down south for his bachelor party, while I wasn't too stoked about spending $1000 I had made up my mind that I was going to go. I took the time off from work and set my wife up with some extra help with our child while I was going to be gone for a few days.
Then I found out that my wife was pregnant. So my wife spoke to her doctor about me going down south as she was a little worried about it as the zika virus is still a thing down there and her doctor advised against it. Then we looked at our financials since my wife would be off from work for a year it just didn't seem possible anymore for me to go as we were going to have a lot of unplanned expenses coming up..
So I gave my friend the bad news said sorry I really felt like I was letting him down...
My friend and I used to talk on the phone weekly and text random shit back and forth pretty regularly. It's been a few months since now and we haven't spoken on the phone and I will barely get a text back if I see how he is doing.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 8,
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
da4M5ZeWptskEvaj1HvgTbSyoJJiPFjO
|
b89vgc
|
{
"description": "calling my mom out on her behavior",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for calling my mom out on her behavior?
|
This is my first time posting in this sub so sorry if thing's aren't properly formatted. As someone who suffers from depression and anxiety, I've been trying to get control of my life for the past few months and I find myself being pushed back because of my mother. I love her, I really do, but sometimes she's too much. I can tell she deeply misses her youth and as a result, sometimes takes that out on me and my siblings. She barely does anything because of back pains, which is understandable, but it's just bare necessities like washing clothes, cooking etc etc. Keep in mind I also help her when I'm not at work so it's not like I'm treating her shitty either. I haven't been able to help her these past few days because of a foot pain I have and because I'm sick (which is difficult to get treated because not only do I have no insurance but I work mon-fri so clinics around my area are closed.) and she keeps getting on my case. I'm only one person and I'm not forcing her to do anything and she keeps attacking me and making me self conscious. One of her fave tactics to do is compare herself to abusive mothers, that she can be like them but chooses not to. She also sometimes hints that she'll throw me under the bus when we get into disagreements (she has threatened to out me to my father, despite knowing how homophobic he is and only apologized when I broke down in hysteria before she dropped me off at work.) But looking back now she really hasn't done much for me and I've gotten to where I am with help of friends or other parties. Hell, when I got baker acted in high school, she didn't even visit me at the ward. I can't vent to her about anything because whenever I vent to her, she flips it on how much worse she had it or that my generation is too soft.
Today in particular she was being extra insensitive and I snapped at her because I'm just so tired. I told her that if she didn't want us, she should have aborted us (because she loves saying she regrets giving birth to us and wish she can get back her youth which obv hurts) and that we shouldn't have to grovel at her feet for caring for us. She *chose to have me and my siblings*. I appreciate it but that's what a parent is suppose to do. We got into a huge screaming fest and she charged at me with a knife. My dad got in between us and I quickly locked myself in my room. I know it's a whiplash there but I really don't know what else to add here. Am I really being selfish?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
XinOk3LL5M4aua1FrLjXXH5zd94vjnsq
|
ad8099
|
{
"description": "using my boyfriends credit card",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA For using my boyfriends credit card
|
So this may be long but here goes. My birthday was last month, I had lost my iPhone a couple weeks before. My boyfriend asked what I wanted for my birthday and I sent him my amazon list with items ranging from 15-30$. He said none of those items were big enough and asked for other ideas. I told him I needed a phone, I found one that cost 300$ and sent him the link. He said that was too much so I told him he was on his own to figure out a gift because between my amazon list and the phone I didn't really need much else. My birthday passes and he hasn't yet come up with a gift idea (He did send flowers to my house as we live three hours apart) He ends up deciding to give me the phone he is using, a pink iPhone 6 that his sister had given him.
I was excited as I had been using an old phone with an absolutely destroyed screen. My boyfriend kept saying he would get around to getting another phone for himself but he is extremely busy with work during the holidays. I reminded him several times that I really need a phone that works, I have been trying to get a new job and my current phone doesn't receive calls or tell me when someone leaves a voicemail half the time. He began to get annoyed with me for reminding him (as he is busy with work a lot) essentially saying "You're getting a $300 phone, relax"
A month passes by and he suggests we look into replacing the battery of another iPhone 6 that he has been keeping in one of his junk drawers so he can use it. I made an appointment at the apple store, took the phone with me back home ( 3 hours away) and got it fixed. I had his credit card with me because he gives it to me to go grocery shopping for him. I had assumed that he was paying for the phone battery and after I left the apple store (but before paying for the phone) I called him and told him it was $50 and was that okay? He was out with his friends and I don't think he was completely listening to me, he said that batteries used to be a lot more than that so $50 isn't too bad so I thought he understood and was okay with that amount.
When the phone was fixed I paid with his credit card. He sent me a message with a screenshot of the invoice saying "what is this?" I was confused and told him I used his card. He was furious saying that I used his card without permission and after getting a $300 gift from him I just added $50 on top of that. While I am thankful for the phone and it does cost money, he had thrown the phone in a drawer and forgot about it for about a year. He had no plans to sell it or do anything with it. The phone he was using (that he was going to give me) was given to him for free from his sister. I feel like he would basically be paying $50 for my birthday gift. It's not like I took his credit card and went on a shopping spree, I used it for a charge that I thought he knew he would be paying for. While I do think I should have made it absolutely clear that he was okay with me using his card I don't understand why he would have expected me to pay for the phone battery? I feel that it's a bit ridiculous that he was basically gifting me a broken phone and expecting me to pay to fix it. Not that this matters much but he isn't exactly struggling financially so It's not that he can't afford the $50.
**TL;DR** Am I the asshole for thinking my boyfriend would pay to fix a non-working phone he gifted me for my birthday?
​
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
47X5sBrIFExv1E5E9wM7TuvTYUBOsjg0
|
ai8i2g
|
{
"description": "breaking it off with a girl for fucking my best friend in the past",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for breaking it off with a girl for fucking my best friend in the past.
|
This is all happening tonight, but I had just got home after this girl had given me head and I was telling one of my friends. That friend brought up that this girl had fucked my best friend. While I understand that this was months ago, I can’t get over the fact that she has fucked my best friend in the past. I’ve brought this up with her and she’s told me that she didn’t like him and it was just for sex (even though I don’t think that’s better) and that she likes me very much even though we’ve only been seeing each other for about a week. She’s calling herself a hoe and all this and I feel like I should just cut her off. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
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}
|
NOBODY
|
{
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"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
9IWinAMMRmoI0g3hTdToPD74p9PINEhH
|
b89gll
|
{
"description": "wanting to see Avengers opening nigjt while my boyfriend is out of town",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting to see Avengers opening nigjt while my boyfriend is out of town?
|
My boyfriend qualified for a world competition in one of his extra curriculars, and I'm extremely excited for him, however it's messed up many of our plans, including me having to go to prom alone (which I think I have been fairly understanding about despite being pretty disappointed)
I have never been to an opening night premier of a movie, and having missed ones for Harry Potter, hunger games, star wars, ECT, this (seemingly) last big marvel movie feels like a can't-miss
He wants me to just wait until Sunday. AITA for not wanting to wait? Especially after going to prom alone that Saturday?
TL;DR boyfriend will be out of town and wants me to wait to see endgame. I do not. Am I a bitch or is it just a movie
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
1ucOhICY1HrrPN8d1qsAY4NTvmhDPnbr
|
a23oa8
| null |
AITA for my behavior at this company party?
|
I was at a company party I’d been helping plan for 2 months. I had to take care of a few scheduled events, so I expected to stay until the building closed.
This was the first time my boyfriend met my coworkers and I’d been telling him how excited I was for it and for the night. He starts off with a beer and enjoying the food (everything is unlimited and free) and talking to people, but soon switches to a glass of water and asks me every 10 minutes when we’re going home.
Every time he asks I say I don’t know when I can go home because I have to take care of certain stuff during the night. That I’d probably be there until the building closed. After the 4th time I ask him if he wouldn’t like a beer, just to enjoy the night and the live events. He says no. I’m like come on, it’ll be fun. He says no, I was like please, just enjoy the night, it’d probably help. He says no. He looks annoyed to be there and I’m trying to get him to give the night a chance again.
I say well I probably can’t go home any time soon, and I said that maybe if he had a drink he wouldn’t be like “when can we go home, when can we go home” the whole night. I didn’t mean this in a malicious way, he doesn’t have an alcohol problem and often drinks at parties. The best part of the night was coming up and I thought we’d have fun if he gave it a chance.
He looks at me hurt and disgusted and turns his back to me to watch the stage. We were playful and I didn’t understand why a line had been crossed until he stopped engaging with me but to look at me with anger, hurt and disgust. After a few minutes of that I felt horrible and thought I’d just skip what I had planned, and I told him that we could just go home. He said no in a pissed off voice but kept his back to me and was dismissive and annoyed. I tried to make things light again but it didn’t work.
I didn’t feel like I could stay emotionally so we did leave. Outside the building I said I’d been planning this and was so excited for it and that was hurtful at him always asking when we could go home when I already told him I didn’t know, and then getting so angry with me, that it ruined the atmosphere for me. That I didn’t see how what I did was so bad, that it wasn’t meant to be malicious at least. He said it was ridiculous to suggest he ruined the atmosphere.
He said that he would never treat me like that, to tell me to have a beer to enjoy the night if I had water, that it was disgusting. He said my comments weren’t about his enjoyment but mine, and that I was a narcissist. I said it wasn’t meant maliciously, it was a suggestion. He screamed at me to eat shit. I tried to talk but he just talked over me and yelled and got hostile, I genuinely didn’t understand. We started walking home and he walked a good 1-2 minutes in front of me the whole way and was pissed.
Was I the asshole? I absolutely acknowledge that what I said could be disgusting but I can’t see why, maybe it’s a blind spot. I wouldn’t care if he suggested I had a drink. We go out for drinks together all the time, we host parties.
Will someone explain to me?
Tl;dr suggested boyfriend have a drink to enjoy the night, after saying he wanted water, he found this extremely hurtful
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
Ki2iob9AOlvHhoH8TTkq2oSXx9D3vxJ2
|
aug3z8
|
{
"description": "being upset that my mother threw away her lasanga",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for being upset that my mother threw away her lasanga?
|
I'm 15, and live at home with both my parents. We aren't that wealthy but we make ends meet. My mother has a gluten allergy, and has a special diet the go along with it so that she stays healthy. Last weekend as a surprise my father and I spent 3 hours baking a special gluten free lasanga for her, as well as going out and buying the special gluten free ingriedients that we'd need for it. It was expensive compared to what we normally buy and we had to go to the organic supermarket a town over to get the ingredients. Me and my father aren't great cooks but we made do with a recipe we found.
She loved it when we gave it to her Sunday night she joyfully ate as much as she could. There was extra that we left for her so she could bring it to work and eat it later.
Thursday comes along and I notice that 2/3 of the lasanga is still left. There were only about 6 servings so she had barely touched it. I asked why she didn't finish it, and she got very defensive right away. She claimed it was good but she just wasn't feeling lasanga today and said shell finish it tomorrow. Okay, I'm pretty annoyed here because it was a special gesture we made for her but as long as she eats it I guess it doesn't matter.
Saturday, it's still there. I ask her again what's up with the lasanga, I've noticed you haven't been eating it. She told me that it's been too long now, i'll have to throw it out because she couldn't eat it. I get really flustered over this because of what it took to make the lasanga. She had told us that she loved lasanga and wished she could eat it even though she couldn't have gluten now. She clearly didn't appreciate the gift even though we put so much time into it, and I was really offended by that. I told her that it hurt that she didn't eat it, and she yells at me for being a "sensitive pussy" and then next thing I'm grounded for 3 weeks. That sucked because I had a date already lined up for next weekend and my plans were ruined.
Am I the asshole for being hurt that my mother threw away the gift we gave her and punished me for talking to her about it.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
4fNzodeQV4Emaiec8Cah8QswSVDQeqUG
|
aawsk6
|
{
"description": "moving someone else's stuff from a table",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for moving someone else's stuff from a table?
|
We take our daughter to an activity every Saturday morning and there is always jockeying for one of the few tables for parents to sit at. We arrived fifteen minutes early and all tables were occupied but one. There was a kids coat and shoes at the table. My wife and I (along with a few other couples) were standing around waiting and I told myself if that shit was there for thirty minutes with no evidence of an owner I'd move it. I timed it at thirty minutes and lo and behold nobody showed so I gently slid the shoes away from the table and draped the coat over a handrail. Fifteen minutes later the kids dad came and got the stuff and nudged my chair but didn't say anything. I felt like a dick for moving the stuff but Jesus Christ...
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
xVEgRvAakh2LNO8tY0TX5Xuwg7LAqM9C
|
ahf7wn
|
{
"description": "calling my teacher's pregnant wife fat",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 14
}
|
AITA for calling my teacher’s pregnant wife fat?
|
This happened back in High School and it’s been a few years since this has happened but I never understood why he was so offended.
Typically I have a pretty good relationship with my teachers and they usually know my sense of humor. So one time, I was doing a favor for this teacher, just stacking chairs (I went to a private school and we were getting ready for lunch bc our chapel was in the same room). His wife was there and she was looking like her water could break any second. Me, thinking of a funny joke, I went over to the teacher and said, “Wow Mr. Teacher, your wife sure is getting fat.” And then he just stared at me with the most serious look I’d ever seen and said, “Don’t you ever call my wife fat.” and walked away.
I was so confused, I thought he’d get a chuckle out of it considering that she’s obviously not fat and that she’s just extremely pregnant. Was it an inappropriate joke or was he just overreacting?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
bAaWypMeZ2VQan5yX03aXw1pgxGq3dKJ
|
aeylrw
|
{
"description": "being slightly put off by a girls 'enthusiasm' in sex, despite generally enjoying it",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 10
}
|
AITA For being slightly put off by a girls 'enthusiasm' in sex, despite generally enjoying it?
|
This is gonna be NSFW btw.
I have been seeing a girl I met on tinder for about three weeks, on and off. This has basically been a bunch of hook ups, and we've been sort of inching into actually dating territory.
However, now that we're getting more serious and im getting to know her as sort of a pseudo girlfriend, I am starting to look at her a different way. Things I didnt care about before are becoming apparent, namely how she performs sexually.
She is a freak in bed, to put it mildly. Like she goes all out. For instance, when she was giving me head, she actually started licking my balls. No girl has ever done that, but she took it a step further and actually placed them in her mouth.
She also gets off on being called derogatory names, like "whore" and "slut". Not to mention the fact that she straight up asks for anal sex. She licks nipples, she asks for spankings, she wants to call me daddy, ect.
She even told me she cuckolded (with his consent) a previous boyfriend, in addition to having threesomes.
So, my thought process is, "huh, this is awesome", but also "man, where did she learn this stuff, how many guys has she been with, do i want to date someone who is so "experienced"? Like, is it possible for her to be a girlfriend, instead of a fuck buddy.
Am I wrong for thinking this way?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
AUTHOR
|
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|
WRONG
|
16LLItJJAz4em3c1n09DEqPkMelG120d
|
b7w8v9
|
{
"description": "not giving my 27 year old son another $1500 so he can attend my wedding in the Bahamas",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 38
}
|
AITA for not giving my 27 year old son ANOTHER $1500 so he can attend my wedding in the Bahamas?
|
I'm afraid he is a bit of an Entitled Child. His GF has a good job and I think she carries him to some degree. I've already given them $1000 towards the trip and he just asked for another $1500. I'm thinking I'll just "apologize" for putting a financial burden on him, tell him to cancel, use the $1000 to cover any cancellation fees and send me back the rest, and just not attend. I'll find another "best man." I mean really? Am I really supposed to cover $2500 of a $3200 trip? Probably time he paid his own cell phone bill too. . .
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
W40wJ1v4o2qqJ4YYTek9moof7LNhsZ0B
|
ambvoc
|
{
"description": "not paying for everything in my relationship even though I make more",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For Not Paying For Everything in my Relationship Even Though I Make More?
|
I'm M22, she's F23. I am on target to make around 80k this year and my gf who I've been dating for 7 months makes about 35-40k. I realize that there is a large pay discrepancy so I do pay for our dates usually and pay for random things for her when we are out. Like I'm coming over to her place and she wants me to pick up some meat or food etc and I'll pay for that. However, sometimes I feel like she asks for too much. We went to dinner tonight and I paid as usual and she wanted to get dessert from a new place. I like keeping her happy so we went and she got a lot of pastries/cake to have there and to take home for herself and roommate. It was like $45, for that and I was just like ahhh can you pay for that its a lot for dessert and I'm not gonna have any. She looked super annoyed but paid and when we got back to her place she gave some to her roommate and mentioned that she paid for it and her roommate was like wow not cool man it was a date night you should have paid for everything. I just laughed and said I paid for dinner, which was $150. She was being distant when we got back to her place so I just said I'm getting tired and gonna head home.
​
AITA For not paying for everything?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
MgjKxKUENxUqMA6umqLFbrClie3U4M8N
|
aufznu
|
{
"description": "getting Upset at our Neighbours for leaving their kids outside all day",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for Getting Upset at our Neighbours for Leaving their Kids Outside ALL DAY
|
Okay, so I rent a townhouse, which is among other townhouses, in a not so safe neighbourhood. My neighbours are not very good parents (in my opinion) because from dawn to about 10 pm (in the summer) they kick their little kids (mostly elementary kids though also including toddlers) outside to play WITHOUT any adult supervision. On school days the kids are outside from 4pm to 9-10 ish pm.
A lot of awful stuff has happened to these kids because they aren't being watched, from severe injuries to a kidnapping of one girl, but these parents continue doing this without keeping an eye out for their kids. They also drew on the walls of the townhouses, dug out flowers from the gardens, and threw a rock at someone's window.
The thing that bothers me most is this. There are stairs (at least 10-15 steps) that lead to the parking downstairs in multiple places. Last summer, a kid fell down those steps, was very badly injured and got a concussion, so the landlord built these fences (that open one-way) to prevent kids from going there. Here's the problem, I have caught kids climbing these fences (these fences are taller than me, at 5 feet 7 inches).
Yesterday I caught a bunch of elementary school kids taking turns climbing this fence. There's nothing but a flight of stairs going down behind these fences, if they fall, they fall down the stairs. They could break something, snap their necks, or much worse. I had had enough when I saw this kid climbing it and trying to get down the other side HEAD first. I yelled at them to get off and not to climb the fences anymore. They listened but proceeded to do it again right after I left.
Not to mention that in the area the kids are left to play all on their own, I have found beer bottles and syringes, and human waste (once again, it's not a safe neighbourhood for them to be left alone for so long).
I've had enough, and I am writing a letter to each parent (that I know of around here) that they need to watch their kids or I'm calling CPS for neglect. Am I the asshole? Am I overreacting? What should I do?
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
5iPzvYwfFCqGuNJxad8bjphFCKKae1ZB
|
aodmgg
|
{
"description": "not being upset that someone's character in dnd pretended there wasn't very much gold in a chest",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not being upset that someone's character in DnD pretended there wasn't very much gold in a chest?
|
Some backstory. I've been DMing for a group of friends for about two years. Generally the thing that matters to them is narrative and character-story building. Everyone has typically played some sort of good guy. But now we're doing a mini-arc with a company of mercenaries and more/less all but two characters are in it to find some meaning in their chosen profession/life. One character (a total scoundrel) unlocked a coffer, four large gems and some gold (about 2k worth), picked up a small bag of gold and said, "Huh. Only 50 gold in here". One player lost their shit. Their PC rolls for perception, nat 20, proceeded to tell the other PCs that he was stealing from the group. The other three PCs didn't care, players said it was in character, their characters wouldn't notice or be concerned since they're getting paid for a job, etc. The player was furious and left.
 
Outside of the game, I thought about it, and decided that it was a bit like stealing. I presented him with a couple solutions, told him that the group was cool with them, such as a retcon to the contract where the merc leader takes all liquid assets and disperses them at the end of the job evenly. The player wouldn't find that acceptable. They were of the opinion this person's actions was == to killing another PC. Basically said no solution was equitable other than killing the offending PC or this person quitting the group. I do not see how this incident was really that bad. I don't agree that it is equal to stealing or PC murder.
 
Am I the asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
UFRUNUXQXKC3A0LD8n3D2qv39PYNODdN
|
b9xtxo
|
{
"description": "not letting my brother eat my wife's jello",
"pronormative_score": 27,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not letting my brother eat my wife's jello
|
this is just such a dumb fight, but here goes:
currently my pregnant wife and I are living with my parents because I travel a lot for work and my wife didn't feel safe being alone while I am out of town. everyone in the house usually pools their money and shares food, which has worked so far aside from this.
my wife hasn't had a lot of pregnancy cravings except for blue jello. she basically buys it for herself in bulk but keeps it in the communal fridge with a sticky note on it. now my wife is a very kind woman, but if I touched her jello, I'd be divorced or dead. when her nausea kicks in, its the only thing she can keep down.
my little brother started complaining that he wants jello and my parents never buy it for him. I knew what he was hinting at but there was only one jello pack left and I told him it wasn't mine to give away. he said that my wife never shares her jello with him and she shouldn't keep it in the fridge if she's not willing to share it like all the other food. I told him that you have to make concessions when people are pregnant and deal with it. I offered to get him some jello next time we were at the store, but he wanted the jello right then, so he went into the fridge and took it out. I took it out of his hand and put it back and stood between him and the fridge and told him to stop and eat something else. he threw a fit because my wife wasn't there to eat the jello and he said she could just buy more, but I wouldn't let him eat it. he's still mad at me and its been a few hours. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 26,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
GYQ62gTRkgf1QaTKxPttBSaQ1twapx4l
|
aisxrd
|
{
"description": "getting upset with my teacher",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting upset with my teacher?
|
AITA for getting upset with my teacher after she throws a comment about a problem im currently struggling with? (English is not my first language and i got dyslexia so im sorry for any spelling mistakes)
So a bit over a year ago i got a virus infection that have caused me to get cronic fetigue syndrom (ME)
This basically causes me to sleep everyday after school for a couple hours or even sleeping till the next day and on bad days i cant even make it.
So i get that the teacher really dont like us having youtube or netflix up while we work on our art prodject but most people in the class do anyways. I usually like to work with some background noise so i use youtube. I wouldnt see this as a problem since im minding my own buisness and doing my job like im told to. As im working for myself the teacher comes up to me and tells me to turn it off. I do as she says since i dont wanna start a drama about it, but then she goes "arent you always tired wont this just make it worse?" Then walks away without me being able to reply. I get this could just be her trying to look out for me but when she just walked away i found it really offencive since its a personal problem i am struggling with.
At first i got really annoyed and went to a friend to rant about it to blow off some steam because it made me really pissed off. My friend just told me i was over reacting and that she was probably just wanting to look after me which could be the case, and i just took it the wrong way. To me it came over as rude because she just walked and to me its like asking a depressed person why they are listening to sad songs because "it will make it worse"
A couple of people have told me aswell i am blowing things out of proportion and simply over reacting over nothing but to me this was really rude especially since its a teacher and she knows i have struggled alot with keeping my grades up and getting to school everday. I am also a very worried person i worry about almost everything which causes me alot of stress and this tiredness has caused it all to go through the roof the past year.
AITA for getting upset with my teacher because of what she said?
Also i am really tired so i might not respond until tomorrow, but i will be readong through and respong to stuff when i wake up :)
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
NOBODY
|
{
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"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
RyIegLOfOE99lRuFtY9bq6smSt8nCgeu
|
b7o5ml
|
{
"description": "not returning a gift/loan",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for not returning a gift/loan?
|
So it goes like this.
So for my sisters 2nd child my mum bought them a baby chair swing, RRP $300 paid 150. They used it and then stored it as they weren't sure if they were going to have a 3rd child. I got pregnant with my 1st and they loaned me the chair for use until she grew out of it. My daughter used it and grew out of it and I offered it back to them. I was told that they didn't want to store it as i was probably going to use it for my second (if i had one) so i should just keep it till then.
In truth my house is bigger and it did make sense.
So I have just popped it in the corner of my lounge room and after about 6 months it is getting in the way. While my house is bigger than my sisters it is still not big and we certainly don't have a spare room. So at this point I lent it to a friend for her bub telling her that I would need it back for my second. She loves it and it gets some use.
So this was not an OK thing to do, I think I asked my sister and she said I didn't. Anyway it was made very clear to me that it was not mine to loan as the chair was loaned to me and not gifted. I straight up admitted that I had done the wrong thing, got it back from my friend and apologised many fucking times for my error in judgement.
So I get pregnant again and the chair is in my possession all so it is all good. Side note my sister is not having a 3rd. So then my sisters SIL (following this?) Gets pregnant 3 months behind me. Fantastic, yay as she is actually lovely but my sister starts asking me for most of the baby items back that she gifted/loaned me. Bearing in mind dear reader none of this stuff I am done with.
So I was gifted (definitely gifted) a bassinet from my sister that she now wants back. I have actually accidentally broken it and have told her, now she expects a replacement for SIL. It keeps coming up every month or so until my husband buys a 2nd hand bassinet to stop the fighting. Turns out SIL bought her own anyway so we use it for a bit and then sell it on.
Now the swing which is the current fight, so after my first baby I was told to keep it for my 2nd. So I did. My bub is born and we are using it, then SIL has hers and my sister keeps asking for it back. I keep telling her 'but we are still using it'. Maybe an asshole move but I am a bit pissed off.
So SIL buys her own and my sister now refuses to take the swing back as no one on her side has any use for it anymore.
So now sister doesn't want it, but wants me to give her some money for it. Not sell it for her (which is reasonable) but she wants to retroactively sell it to me for what she did have got for it had she just sold it. The suggested amount is $120. The main arguement is that I have had 3 rounds with it including my friend and she, one.
So my baby has significant, multiple health issues that have ment that he couldn't sit or roll till well over 9 months so we reeeeaaallly used the swing a lot, and really needed it.. which she was well aware of.
So AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
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}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
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"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
8Ym8oLqjTBIGXMkL4UUMtpXhqgU01sdV
|
ag0ph2
|
{
"description": "thinking my nephew is ugly",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for thinking my nephew is ugly?
|
I know it sounds awful. Everyone looks at a baby sometimes and thinks they're not the cutest, but my nephew is one seriously unattractive kid and I feel awful. He's two years old but he looks like he's around 40, I'm not kidding. I would never say this to anyone I know, but I struggle to look at photos of him without frowning or wanting to look away. I can't even force myself to fake an "aww". It'll probably get better as he gets older.
​
AITA for struggling to look at my not-so-cute nephew?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 14,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 15,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
GdzOyfGmLvY0gX3DWTzh7NAsyFDIWsu9
|
alzbcd
|
{
"description": "not wanting to pay a $1400 rent plus utilities",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to pay a $1400 rent plus utilities?
|
So, for some context, my current landlords are a couple who are good friends of my boyfriend, who I live with. They are Jewish (which will become relevant in a moment), and observe the Sabbath.
Recently they bought a two-bedroom condo that's a few blocks away from the synagogue, so they can walk there every Saturday. They intend to come over on Friday evening and leave on Saturday evening every week- as well as stay for a few days at a time on the High Holidays. This was the arrangement my boyfriend and I agreed to when we signed a lease with them. We share the space one day a week, and the rest of the time, we get it to ourselves.
The only problem is, we were forced to take the guest bedroom, which is about half the size of the master bedroom.
Initially, we agreed to pay $1200 a month plus utilities for the space. However, as we moved furniture in, it became increasingly clear that the space was going to be very cramped, and having only the guest bedroom is extremely impractical for my boyfriend and I. It's a much smaller space, and we're the ones living there full-time. We talked it over, and agreed that we were going to ask our landlords if we might be able to switch rooms.
Well, we talked to the couple, and they agreed to let us have the master bedroom... for $1400 a month plus utilities. Personally, I think it's ridiculous. I don't believe they'd be able to find any other tenants who would agree to sharing the space so often, or who would observe other important things, such as keeping the kitchen kosher.
AITA for not wanting to pay that much rent?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
fgAxWcFZLvFycO6LFDKzqHIfhJAmLacX
|
arb7uk
|
{
"description": "not going to my director's party/pre party",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA I didn’t go to my director’s party/pre party
|
So I’m a high school student (junior), and am very involved in my school’s theatre program. I’m on friendly terms with everyone in the program, but am only really close with a few people. I’m currently in a student directed one act. So my director’s birthday is Tuesday so she set up a brunch and her best friend, who is also in the program, set up a surprise party not knowing the director was planning brunch. I was originally planning on going to both however my boyfriend got grounded and my other good friends can’t go. I decided it wasn’t worth it to go to the parties only to make awkward small talk and be on my phone. So last night I made the choice of just sleeping in and work on school projects that I’ve procrastinated doing. I texted my director telling her I was unable to attend, but hoped she’d have a good day. And texted her friend basically the same thing. I got a kind message back from my director and a mean one from her friend. Saying since I was in the cast I was obligated to go. I tried to be as nice as possible in response, but she wasn’t having it. She proceeded to insult me, my acting abilities, and my boyfriend. I still plan on giving my director her present on her actual birthday ,but the message from her friend made me feel bad about not going. So tell me, oh wise people of Reddit, am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
aDYRXokK2YtJlHggZRFOKs4MeOSr4QQL
|
aqf2jb
|
{
"description": "sending my gf a ring emoji",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for sending my gf a ring emoji
|
My gf(24) and I(25) were sending heart emojis back and forth. So I decided to send her a ring emoji.
But then she gets mad at me for sending a ring emoji saying if thats how Im going to propose to her... Ofc not..
Weve discussed before about getting married and getting an actual ring etc...
I only sent the emoji because we were sending pics and heart emojis...
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
3DvCrccGJBqOtErI1PBPPzjkPT0CMxV9
|
ajhzm5
|
{
"description": "expecting a company to offer paid product repair to a 3 year old item",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for expecting a company to offer paid product repair to a 3 year old item?
|
I bought a Razer Blade gaming laptop near the end of 2015 for $2,100. Recently the battery has decided to stop working correctly. I understand I am out of warranty support, but I have no problem paying for repair. However the company Razer wont even repair the product for money. Stating it is a legacy item. Which means the laptop cannot be repaired at all. Only offering 5% off a new product.
AITA for expecting to be able to repair this laptop? Even if I paid for the repair?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
77rtOtbBKQ2R1x2jWbbDGFWZLqhwRc6N
|
ar6c44
|
{
"description": "not forgiving ny Grandfarger with Alzheimer's for assaulting me",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 15
}
|
AITA for not forgiving ny Grandfarger with Alzheimer's for assaulting me?
|
So, quick info. My grandfather has Alzheimer's. Hes getting worse and worse. All that fun stuff.
Well, heres where the story starts. I remember it all vividly because of what happened. This originally happened in december. I dont remember the exact date. I was told to clean uo a few stuff and my parents kept saying thing after thing. I get really easily annoyed. So i tell them im really annoyed. They continue. When i complain, my grandfather mocks me. I tell him to stop so i dont get angry. It continues ti happen and i complain again. Grandfather mocks me AGAIN. I say "Im done" And storm off into the other room. We have 2 living rooms seperated by a wall, and then a kitchen. I go through the kitchen to thep nb other room, the dining room portion. Its all connected. I sit down in a chair. I hear my grandfather ask my sister where i went, and he ended up coming into where i was. He was angry. I grabbed the pet cage that was for my cats to protect myself. He was trying to attack me. This is where i first felt actual terror. My grandfather is strong. Hes an ex veteran from the vietnam war. Hes still strong. I try and block him with the cage and he ends up pushing it out of my hands. This is where i have to protect myself, i use my foot to push his torso away from me, he looked like he was about to punch me. At this point i was loudly screaming for him to get away from me. My heart was probably the fastest its beaten in its life. I hand to push his fist away, it took about 2 minutes for my mom to finally intervene and stop him. When he got away i bolted to my basement and was legitimately yelling and crying.
Today, my grandfather was accusing me of stealing money from him. Ive never stolen before in my life. Nothing. My mom is on my side with this one. Hell i had to be next to her as i am still afraid of my grandfather. Then a few hours later (around an hour before posting this) the topic came up. I forget was exactly said. But then it came to this
My mom: If you ran from him hed probably fall, but youd probably helo him up.
My sister: i really doubt that
Me: yeah i wouldnt help him up, id run the hell away.
My sister: hed probably come in and tell us but..
Me: yeah, i still really hate him.
This is where they got mad
My mom: why?
Me: because of what happened, duh
My mom: but OP, he has Alzheimer's, he wouldnt normally act that way.
Me: Disorders dont excuse behavior!
My mom: If its a hevahorial-
Me:It still doesnt excuse it!
My sister: its not bad if they dont forget it an hour later!
Me: oh? So its okay for someone to ASSAULT somebody if they forget it an hour later?
My sister: well no-
Me: But thats what youre saying!
My mom: You just gotta learn to forgive and forget!
Me:IM NOT GOING TO FORGIVE ASSAULT!
My mom: OP, he has Alzheimer's
Me: I KNOW THAT!
At this point, i stormed into my bedroom upstairs.
Am i the asshole for not forgiving my Alzheimer's infected grandfather for assaulting me? Or is my family in the wrong?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 15
}
|
WRONG
|
6RMdiytIkwEw93LniVBp8yXlRQuBYSVv
|
9vqhd7
|
{
"description": "using the handicapped bathroom stall",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for using the handicapped bathroom stall?
|
Went into public bathroom today with 5 or 6 stalls that were all full. Waited for a minute and someone came out of the last stall, which was larger and had hand rails by the toilet.
I went in, thinking it was just a normal bathroom trip. I was wrong.
I have an irritable bowel and am also pregnant. I don’t always know ahead of time if I’m going to be on the toilet for a long time.
I heard people come and go and the stalls were mostly empty when I finished, about 15 minutes later. When I came out, there was an elderly woman standing there waiting, who went into the stall after me. She wasn’t in a wheelchair or seem like she obviously needed to use that stall specifically, but I’m sure it was just more comfortable and easier for her. She didn’t say anything to me, but I felt bad that she had to wait for me so she could use that stall. Especially since I had no reason to need to use it, other than it was just available.
AITA for taking a really long time in the handicapped stall?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
FV0Ke3LmkkwWGia9sbFfgYa8IZ4lIiM4
|
ahif8j
|
{
"description": "not making a joint banking account with my ex-roommates",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not making a joint banking account with my ex-roommates?
|
Ok so a little back story: I moved to NYC and signed a lease to a relatively ok apartment with two other people I met online. Fast forward 5 months, coupled with a jaw infection from a bad wisdom tooth surgery, I got a severe case of pneumonia, and decided that, financially and emotionally, it made the most sense to move back in with my parents in MD. I sublet my room to a girl, and to make life easier on everyone in regards to the security deposit, we thought it would be in everyone’s interest for the subletter to pay me $1600, and then when they ended their lease, the management company would give the subletter what would’ve been my portion of the security deposit ($1600).
It’s been about year since then, and I got a message from my ex-roommate saying that management wrote out a single check with all the original roommates on it (one of the other girls also moved back home to CO), and she says the only way to cash it is if we open a joint bank account. I feel like I’m not getting the full story, because that sounds strange and every time I offer to call the leasing office she gets upset and says not to talk to management. I’m a college student with loans and (I’d like to think) a good credit score. I’ve also had issues with money with this girl in the past (ex. her not sending money for utilities). I’ve offered to do almost anything else to help: call in while she’s at the bank to authorize the money going to her account, calling management, sending a notarized letter, but I refuse to risk my financial security by opening a joint account and I live in Chicago now and cannot afford to fly all the way out there for money that’s not even mine (plus the other girl that moved flat out refused to so it wouldn’t matter anyways). I feel like it’s reasonable, but she’s been calling me and yelling, she’s had her parents call me and yell at me, and now her other roommates are too. AITA for just wanting to block all of them and be free of NYC and it’s problems?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
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}
|
RIGHT
|
Zeddq2A4QOxwFOUEq0kKeX9YFZmmDy3c
|
9zxuby
|
{
"description": "losing patience with my girlfriend suffering with anxiety",
"pronormative_score": 29,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA For Losing Patience With My Girlfriend Suffering With Anxiety
|
My girlfriend(21F) and me(22M) have been dating for almost 2 years now. We’ve known each other for upwards of 6 years or so, and have always had feelings for eachother, so when it eventually became romantic is was beautiful. We felt comfortable and still do to this day, we can be ourselves as if we were just friends and we love eachother for that.
However, early in the relationship she disclosed with me that she suffers from Anxiety and Depression. I suffer heavily from the latter myself, so I was sympathetic when I learned this and was willing to help anyway I could.
I’ll try to put the situation in my perspective. My depression really hit me when my ex cheated on me, but I learned to cope with it in my own way. I don’t get overly attached to anything or depend on others for my own happiness, I try to keep it all separate and it really taught me the way a relationship should be, you should be overall comfortable and happy with yourself before taking on the responsibility of a relationship. It’s a partnership that should enhance both of your lives, not depend on them.
So at first, her anxiety attacks were quite frequent, maybe once every 2 weeks or so when we saw eachother once a week. This would involve her breaking down, shaking violently and crying very heavily while gasping for air. During these I held her in my arms and constantly reassured her that I’m there and it’ll be okay. These typically occur when she believes that she “upset” me, when in reality that’s usually not true. Sure I may get annoyed sometimes, but I typically get over it in minutes.
Over time and after a lot of communication, she’s learned to try to not let her mind overthink things, and realize that I don’t get upset unless something really bad happens.
But to get to the point of this post, she still has these, not as violent and often, but they still occur. For basically the same reasons, but I feel it gets a bit ridiculous. For instance, at times I may get mad at something, however I’m not a yeller, I typically say “it’s alright” then focus on something else to calm down quickly. This will almost always end in her breaking down, saying she’s not good enough and she’s scared I’ll leave her.
I suppose deep down, because I suffer through my own mental condition every day and deal with it on my own without involving her, I get frustrated that despite all this time she still has these issues at any opportunity when I’m not overly happy. I feel as though I’m not “allowed” to be annoyed or upset, hell not even allowed to be tired without her having an emotional hit, due to me being tired looking like I’m upset, etc.
I love her and try to get her support, I helped her find a therapist, and constantly remind her that I love her and that she’s doing better, but when she has her breakdowns, I shut off, I stare into another direction and just get really mad. I genuinely hate myself for this, yet there’s always a voice in my head telling me I shouldn’t have to babysit her, that she’s an adult and shouldnt cry whenever she convinces herself something is wrong. She always calls me out and tells me she just needs more support, but the repetitive nature of it all eventually got to me.
She blames a lot of things on her anxiety, and I mean a lot, and I suppose I really got tired of hearing her blame so much on it, like letting it completely run her life, while I’m accepting my depression but not being ruled by it and letting it change me.
I understand and even discussed with her that I know everyone handles their problems differently and I don’t expect her to deal with her’s like I do, aka using logic and not getting emotional about petty and unimportant things, but I feel she doesn’t cope, she just lets it run her life and unfairly expects me to be the solution.
So instead of being supportive, I now get irritated and typically stay quiet during it, because I feel like a babysitter, not a significant other. When she’s herself we really do enjoy each others company, and I couldn’t imagine being with someone else. I love her so much, I suppose that’s why I’m so conflicted whether or not I’m being an impatient asshole. I feel like with true love I should always support her, and I can’t help but feel like an asshole that I no longer do that for her.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 24,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 29,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
RIGHT
|
l5l1BuokdHmycvPJ4pDIAkKUN0DSEbO8
|
b124za
|
{
"description": "confronting my wife about using her vibrators",
"pronormative_score": 45,
"contranormative_score": 166
}
|
AITA for confronting my wife about using her vibrators?
|
Quick aside: This is a new account bc my wife is on Reddit at times.
The backstory
My wife and I have been married over ten years, two children, two incomes, in our forties, and have a relatively healthy relationship. We communicate pretty well, enduring no significant challenges like cheating, abuse, money problems, except for one: our sex life. Mis-matched libidos is a common issue, especially after children, age, and life comes into play, and that’s totally fair, but If I'm a 9, she's a 2. It's something we've discussed with some difficulty, but openly. I'm still very attracted to her. Oh, there’s no religious influence.
We've been on about a 2/3x a month average for a few years, far less than my ideal, but tolerable. We’ve discussed it, with shallow promises to work together, but no real change. I backfill with porn, which she is fully aware of and has zero issue with. Our last child was born 6 years ago. More context: when we do have sex it is intimate and pleasurable for us both. Reading between the lines: I am a giving partner, ensure she comes, and we aren't pushing any uncomfortable boundaries afaik–I'm not forcing her to do anal or dress up like my mom is what I'm saying. She has two vibrators. Masturbation is part of our intimacy, it's not taboo at all either together or alone. Her private sex life is her business, assuming it's not harmful to our marriage.
Around September the frequency has dropped to 1 or 2 times a month, no obvious external factors would indicate why. At this point my frustration has resulted in my not initiating at all.
Important side note: About a year ago, I went to her nightstand for a phone charger (routine and not inappropriate), and when I put it back a day later, noted one vibrator was in a completely different place. It's purple and hard to miss. This occurred during an extended dry spell and it irked me. I asked her about it, she flatly denied using it, I dropped it and haven't been checking since then. You'll have to trust me on this one.
The main story
Last week while making our bed, close her nightstand drawer and realize the vibrator is missing. We hadn't had sex since early Feb, only twice this year, and hope maybe it's charging (my birthday soon). Nothing. Monday before a trip, I take a picture of the top drawer: no vibrator; and bottom drawer: vibrator.
I came home and checked. Vibrator back in the top drawer, now the one in the bottom drawer is missing. I call her out, without mentioning the photos, and she straight up denies touching them, angrily stating,"If they've moved, someone else moved them," goes upstairs, puts both in my top drawer, and leaves for work. Yeah, I'll be headed over to [r/relationship\_advice](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice) next.
I just sent her four before-and-after pictures without comment. AITA?
tl;dr I took photos of my wife's vibrators and showed her to catch her lying about using them while ignoring our sex life.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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"OTHER": 38,
"EVERYBODY": 30,
"NOBODY": 7,
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 45,
"WRONG": 166
}
|
WRONG
|
WIn2wOxDciF353MtzVFO5MCOVeQQyBHL
|
aaf3mo
| null |
AITA because my girlfriend thinks I called her a gold-digger during an argument.
|
A bit of background first. My girlfriend and I had a baby just under 7 weeks ago, and my parents are giving us money to help with all the new costs we have. We live at her house all together in a room while we save up to get a house. This means her parents get to see the baby all the time. My parents have seen the baby roughly every 3 weeks despite wanting to see her all the time.
My parents are always asking me to see the baby but my girlfriend will always kick up a fuss and making an excuse not to go. This was especially upsetting during the festive season as my family didn’t see her at all during this time.
A few days ago we had an argument about something completely irrelevant and I brought this up. I said that I don’t think we should be taking my parents money if they’re not allowed to see the baby. She took this to mean that she was just after their money and so she got very angry and we are only just recovering from the argument that followed now.
Am I the asshole for suggesting we shouldn’t take my parents money if they can’t see our baby?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
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}
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AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
JcBoI26lrKpVbnjTVWeWiqngzkVtRoav
|
aigmz0
|
{
"description": "walking away from the pharmacy counter",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for walking away from the pharmacy counter?
|
I have bronchitis right now so after the doctors my wife and I went to Walmart. I hate Walmart, absolutely despise it,and avoid it as much as possible. Regardless they have a pharmacy there so I figured it would be easier to just pick up my medicine there, instead of going to my usual Riteaid. So it's been about a hour since they called it in, I go to the pharmacist, put down some other OTC medicines on the counter and ask if they have it ready. They look and tell me that there out of stock and I could get it tomorrow. This absolutely infuriated me because I knew I shouldn't have wasted my time trusting in Walmart. I immediately said, " okay I'll just go to riteaid." I swiped my stuff off the counter and promptly walked away. My wife thinks I'm the asshole because apparently Walmart is "beneath" me and I was rude. While you do see some "interesting" people there, it also has shitty customer service. I don't think I was rude, I didn't say anything bad, all I said was I'll go to riteaid instead. I ended up going to riteaid and what do you know with in 5 minutes I was out of there,medicine in hand. So am AITA for giving Walmart a chance and then promptly walking away when they couldn't provide the service I needed?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
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AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
paKlKdroLiwEXS9A0Vbi1ptTcBTAuXkC
|
a7hfqw
|
{
"description": "not wanting to sit with my friend on the bus",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting to sit with my friend on the bus?
|
My friend and I sit together every day on the bus. We became really close, and we talked about everything with each other. Now, months after sitting for an hour together everyday, Im getting kind of sick of it.
The conversations used to be nice and relieving, being able to confide in someone like that. Now, there is nothing to talk about. Nothing at all. She’s gotten to telling me about conversations that she had that day just to fill the silence. We both mention things like “there’s nothing to talk about” “I’m so tired” “The bus is so boring”.
The main problem is that she is sensitive. This next part sounds asshole-ish, but it’s the best way to describe. She tells me how sucidial she is, how she cuts, how & when she is going to kill herself. Every day. I don’t like thinking about that, losing a close friend. I have told her not to do it, and tell her she needs to get help, i’ve done a lot to try and help her, but she isn’t convinced life is worth living. I can’t do anything more there.
She also talks about uncomfortable things. Not that i’m against talking about it, but i just don’t like talking about it all the time. She talks about masturbation, her period, discharge, etc. It’s nice to rant sometimes, but not anymore. She talks loudly about it a lot, too.
Finally, she doesn’t brush her teeth. Self explanatory.
I’m a shy girl who loves listening to music and podcasts, and at 6 in the morning, I just want to put in my headphones and look out the window.
AITA for wanting to sit by myself once in a while? I’m not going to completely ignore, just sit by myself. I can’t tell if i’m being mean or not.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 7,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
3yaPB7UUdnhaeAPBbecHVK8lECTQbvoV
|
adb2jq
|
{
"description": "kicking my roommate out within 3 days",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA For kicking my roommate out within 3 days?
|
Hey! Throw away account, since the situation is kind of revealing. Also - I apologies for grammatical errors and spelling errors! I'm studying English, but not the best... yet!
little more than a year ago, I bought an apartment. I can live there alone, but i'm a student and i'm trying to focus on school and work part time as little as possible. My friend (for +6 years) was looking for an apartment as well, so we decided to move in together. We bought all furniture, repairs and lightning together too.
In the beginning everything was fine and we were having a good time. Over the year however, I realized how bad he was a living without parents. I was always the one cleaning, buying groceries and so on. on top of that, our lifestyles weren't that great of a match. He's working full time at evening/nights and often drink with people from his work. This means that I often get woken up in the middle of the night. I then made some more strict rules, mostly about inviting people over, hosting parties without me knowing and cleaning.
But then I got sick - Long story short, I was in-n-out of hospitals for months and my drugs were kind of dangerous, so I had to take them with people who knew what to do in emergencies. So I lived with my parents for that period.
After 4 months, I had my final surgical operation and could move back to my apartment. When I came back, the place was a mess. Living there alone, without me enforcing those previous rules, they were 100% ignored. He hadn't been cleaning once since I left, empty bottle from parties were pilled around in the kitchen, and on top of that, his girlfriend moved in, without me knowing.
I had enough - I don't want to be his parent, I just want a roommate. I talked with him, and told it how it was. something along the lines of "*I have been the one doing everything and with my sickness, I can't do that in the future, not do I want to*". And he accepted and agreed. Since we didn't have a lease contract, we just agreed he had 2 months to move out.
Now we fast forward to today, it's been 1 months, and me and my roommate was talking about those furniture, repairs and lightning. He had payed for half of the stuff, but he's leaving without any of it, so it's only fair I pay back what he had payed for.
However, when I was looking through my bank records, I noticed something. Those 4 months I had been sick, he hadn't payed rent. Financially i'm doing pretty good, and it's not going to break my back or anything, but just the thought of it makes me furious. Even after I pay him back from furniture and so on, he still owns me around 500$
At this point, I don't even care about the money he owes me. Just the fact that he cares so little about my rules, my apartment and my sickness makes me feel so betrayed. I just want him out, and i'm not sure I want to wait another month.
Would I be the asshole for saying he has 3 days to move out, and if he isn't out, I will change the locks?
**TL;DR:** Got an apartment with a friend (+6 years). I wasn't great, but acceptable. Then I got sick for 4 months and wasn't home. Apartment was shit when I came back, and he didn't pay me rent those months. I wanna kick him out, within 3 days
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
KooOpgR0mVzongNCPNTfE2qNOJHJaLNa
|
at9rcg
|
{
"description": "being annoyed",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being annoyed?
|
So my Grandma is taking my aunt uncle and 3 cousins on a 2 week holiday to Egypt as a gift. When my aunt asked what she’s getting my mum (aunts sister) as a gift to be fair to each sibling, my grandma did not know what to do. So in the end my grandma decides to gift my mum the new car she loaned my mum the money for. Am I ungrateful for being annoyed at my parents for them being gifted a car, my cousins getting a 2 week holiday to Egypt and me and my brother getting nothing?
I feel like I’m the arsehole though for being annoyed.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
EJYUTKkNBrIM63F7Olzly3aHCCXeodf0
|
a2oa0u
|
{
"description": "ignoring a girl that i´m trying to move one from",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for ignoring a girl that I´m trying to move one from?
|
So, I met this girl a couple of years back, and I fell head over heels for her. I am 20M and she´s 20F.
We dated for a brief period of time, and she was never really into me, while I was super into her and really trying to make a relationship out of it. Its so weird for me to truly like someone, that when I do like someone I try and open up about me feelings and everything. The thing with this girls is that she´s never been a very communicative person, it was always me striking up conversation and it was always me forcing little encounters to try and win her over.
When we were finally dating, after about a month, she told all some of my friends (but not me D:) that she really was not that into me and that "She was planning on talking about it with me because she couldn't keep me like that anymore". I did not know this at the time, and this "planning on talking about it with me", never came.
Then a big party came and we were both invited, I hit her up on Wsp and asked her if she was coming, she did not answer my message (to this date, that was the last text between the both of us), and after that, every other girl form her friend group showed up to the party, except for her. That night I felt very very stupid, because I realized I had been chasing someone for so long, and she was so clearly not into me, that she couldn't even answer a WSP back.
I talked about this with a few of my friends, told them that I was feeling kind of stupid, because I was putting so much effort into trying to win this girl over, and she couldn't even talk back. At this point, they told me that she had told them previously that she wasn't into me, and that both my friends were expecting her to talk about it directly to me. At this point they suggested that I should move on and that if she wasn't trying to communicate at all with me, I shouldn't try either and should just move on, given that she apparently wasn't that keen on talking about it with me and letting me know through dialogue that thing were over.
So, I gathered courage and finally stopped talking to her. And so I stopped trying to force the little encounters I had always forced, and exactly what I thought would happen, happened: since I was always the one opening up dialogue, and now I wasn't looking for her, all interactions ceased.
Here is where we get to the problem. I started ignoring her, not because I resented her, or because I was angry at her, but because I felt I needed to move on from her, and that was through creating distance.
I need to be honest here, I did ignore her on purpose, absolutely and 100%. But this ignoring was not out of hate (which is what she believes to be the reason), it was simply because the healthy thing for me was to move on from her, and given that I was seeing her everyday at college (we study the same thing), the way I figured to move on was through creating distance.
Fast forward to a few months back, three of her group of friends came to me, on three different occasions, to ask me "So why do you hate her all of a sudden?" Implying that it was because I hated her for not wanting to be with me.
I told all three that I did not hate her, that I was just trying to move on from her and that I was trying to create distance. Since then, I had never had an opportunity to talk thing with her, we´ve both been busy, and our encounters are always brief, with always translates into an awkward little Hello- how are you?- fine bye. And those encounter make me sad, because we used to be close to each other, maybe only as friends, but we used to interact, and no we don't, and it kind of pisses me of and frustrates me.
What should I do? Should I force another conversation with her? to Try and explain how I feel? Was it her job to end things with me? Am I being an asshole? Should I be feeling guilty?
​
**TL;DR:** A girl I was dating cut all communications with me, and did not talk with me finish our brief relationship. I responded by not talking to her, and started ignoring her on a few occasions. Some of her friends now throw comments ant me saying that I hate her because I don't talk to her. I don't know If I´m being and asshole or what I should do.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
DugFgzVAM0OK8Vi1fFFs0LmFV14hfsnm
|
aawke3
|
{
"description": "telling a couple girls at the bar \"have a good night\"",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for telling a couple girls at the bar "have a good night"?
|
This happened some time ago but it's one of those things that pops into my head and keeps me up when I'm trying to sleep sometimes...
It was about midnight and I walked into a bar with a friend, the only seats open were all the way at the end of the bar so we sat and ordered some drinks. After half a drink, a strip club promoter walked in handing out coupons and stood between me and the girl next to me and got both of our attention. We kind of rolled eyes at each other as he put the coupon on the bar between us, and I jokingly asked her if she wanted it. She said no and turned back, I threw the coupon in a trash on the other side of the bar and thought nothing more of it.
Another 20 minutes went by and she turned around and tapped me on the shoulder.
Her: Sorry if you thought I was being rude before
Me: I didn't think that at all, no problem
Her: We are talking about some ex-boyfriend problems so it's just that we were in the middle of a conversation
Me: Sorry to hear that, really you're not rude at all
Her: My name is "S" and this is my friend "E". What are you guys up to tonight?
We talked for a few minutes, who we are, what we do, what's been going on tonight, generally exchanged pleasantries, until I excused myself to the bathroom. When I came back my friend (who is gay and definitely wouldn't have been hitting on them or offensive in my absence) was in deeper conversation and had taken my seat closer to them. I stood behind him with my arms on his chair and waited for the topic to trail off. When it did, "S" said "it was great to meet you guys, do you mind if we go back to figuring things out?" Sure, no problem.
We ordered two more drinks and moved to a table that just opened up in a corner behind us. Maybe 30 more minutes went by and it was time to catch our ride home so I put my empty glass on the bar where we sat previously and as I walked past I said:
Me: Hey, I'm sorry if we bothered you at all and I hope you two can have a good night
To my absolute surprise and horror, "E" started screaming at me so loud that half the bar started staring:
E: You are such a fucking asshole!
Me: I... I am?
E: Yes! That is the most insulting, condescending thing you could have possibly said!
Me: It... it is?
E: I don't need your fucking permission! I don't need a man's permission to have a good night!
Me: ...I meant no offense...
And I walked out, with 20 or so people staring at me thinking I was some chauvinistic piece of shit. My friend laughed his ass off and insisted I shouldn't have said anything and it was my fault... am I the asshole for wishing them well?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
XJbyEHrBrEvJMxxgfZkVhPMDp3eT1qZ7
|
as2fkp
|
{
"description": "wanting to ask my best friend why she didn't text me before trying to kill her self",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 10
}
|
AITA for wanting to ask my best friend why she didn’t text me before trying to kill her self?
|
My best friend (let’s call her Lizzy) 2 weeks ago attempted to try and kill herself because her parents try to send her to rehab. She wasn’t successful because her mom walked in, but before she tried to kill herself she texted a paragraph to her two other very close friends saying goodbye. She always calls me her bestfriend and says how much she loves me, so I want to ask her why she didn’t text me. I’m curious because I would have wanted to help and I also would want to know if our friendship is really what she says it is. Is that rude to ask?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
GTvBPTDHuQtnZv7Hg4v8meKCnPB6h0o1
|
ang0nb
|
{
"description": "refusing to go to this crappy festival",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA if I refuse to go to this crappy festival.
|
So last year my GF went to Brighton pride to see Britney bitch. I didn't fancy going as I dont really like festivals (I feel at nearly 30 i've outgrown those days). I am 3 years into running my own Gardening/ tree care business and try to save as much as possible to put a deposit down on a house - Therefore making the festival I do not want to go to a pointless expenditure.
​
Anyway, last year I had said to my GF - it might be a good idea to leave the festival early in order to make the train back and avoid the stampede. This would have meant cutting the gig short and was not done at the time. It got to 11.30pm and it was clear that the train station had been shut due to it being unsafe & my gf was now stuck alone in Brighton, over an hour from home. I ended up driving a 3 hour round trip to pick her up. We go home, she told me it wasn't even that good and she wishes she had stayed at home.
​
(I want to add that i'm not a massive fun killer as the story seems to tell. We are at the pub 3/4 times a month, quiz nights, friends birthdays ect ect.)
​
This brings me to this morning. I am at work and have been for a few hours and notice a text from my GF - Please call me when you can xx.
I call her and we have the usual chit chat. She then tells me that shes booked tickets for Brighton pride this year and has a ticket for me.
I told her I dont want to go and asked her if she remembered our previous conversation. I said I have no problem with her going but I wont be driving for 3 hours to pick her up and id rather spend my weekend at home and chill.
She tried persuading me that it will be fun, and everything is great there which is the complete opposite of what she had told me about the previous year.
​
Somehow she managed to speak with several of our friends to arrange buying tickets but somehow forgot to ask me, & forget the conversation we had about the previous time in Brighton.
Now she has the hump and is not speaking to me as of 2pm this afternoon.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
HUCZ54VirFpMfmU0u5efvGmPyGN5qBsZ
|
ak6yrm
|
{
"description": "not letting my mother attend my thesis defense",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not letting my mother attend my thesis defense?
|
Long time lurker, first time poster, etc.
​
For a bit of background, my high school requires that all students complete a year long senior thesis research project as part of their advanced academic program. I ended up helping out with some astronomy research at a local college over the summer of 2018 (mostly data processing), and the professor was kind enough to let me use the preliminary data for my thesis. Most students present and defend their projects before the end of the calendar year, but due to some scheduling issues mine got pushed back to just last week. I was told I did extremely well and it felt amazing to finally finish a year long project.
​
My biological mother is an alcoholic, albeit a recovering one, and I've tried to keep her distant from school related events (talent shows, open houses, etc.) ever since she showed up very obviously drunk to a meeting with my guidance counselor my freshman year. I'll spare everyone the details but she's been sober on and off and in and out of A.A. since then, but officially hit one year of sobriety on December 17th for the first time in as long as I can reasonably remember.
​
I hadn't planned to even tell her about my defense at all, but accidentally let it slip about two weeks before it was scheduled. We argued about it back and forth over lunch, one of my biggest worries being that my dad's other ex wife, who has a restraining order against my mother (long story) was planning on being there, and I didn't want them to get into a technically illegal pissing contest on a day that I felt should be about me and my accomplishments. And while I understand that she is a year sober and has finally been able to keep a steady job, I automatically get very worried at even the notion of her being involved in my academic life, which I take very seriously.
​
I think the thing that really got under my skin was that during our fight, after I mentioned that dad's ex wife would probably be there, she said something along the lines of "Well, I would hope your *biological* parents would take precedent," because my former stepmother would consistently go out of her way for me during and after her marriage to my father, while my mother was too hungover or on her way to being too hungover to do jack shit. for the past 8 or 9 years since she split from my dad. She also remarried a man whom I despised, who turned out to be a bipolar heroin addict, and then lied to me about being divorced from him, which I found out on Christmas Day.
​
Her issues aside, I'm more or less at the point where I do want to have a relationship with her going forward. And to my mother's credit, she did drive me a lot to and from the research lab, as well as give me money to buy lunch while I was there. She's been going to therapy, staying on her medications, and attending A.A. meetings. I can tell she's trying very hard to be there for me and my younger sister, but I still feel every time I try to discuss things with her she doesn't understand that her problems have affected people besides herself.
​
So I could use some unbiased opinions here: should I have been the bigger person and put my best foot forward? Am I "unfairly jerking her around" and "punishing her", as she claims? Should I have invited her as a sign of good faith?
​
tl;dr is I didn't want my mother to come to my thesis defense due to an unpleasant history with her being an alcoholic and things still being tense between us, she thinks I am being unfair and ignoring her strides towards recovery despite claiming I want a relationship with her, am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
QESCzfqC5U7mcu2OPwH5zWImYmGWqXXE
|
az28zk
|
{
"description": "making our third roommate pay for bills when he is in Australia",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for making our third roommate pay for bills when he is in Australia?
|
So I am living in a 3 person apartment with 2 friends. One of them decided to study abroad and go to Australia for the spring semester. Now we did not know this before we decided to live together he decided to do this mid semester. Our argument is that I still pay for bills when no one is living in the apartment or if only my roommate is there when I am home go home for break. So why should I have to pay 80-90 dollars a month instead of the usual 50-60 a month because he decided to go to Austrailia. His argument is that he isn't living there and isn't using electricity or heat so he shouldn't have to pay. I just wanted to know if what were telling him makes sense and is fair.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
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}
|
RIGHT
|
544UPARSxej8UAzKmS8leAIWJXgsK2fk
|
arqct7
|
{
"description": "accidentally insulting tour guide/translator at the United Nations in Geneva",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 18
}
|
AITA for accidentally insulting tour guide/translator at the United Nations in Geneva?
|
I’m not even sure how cringey this story is to outsiders, but I do know that after it happened my heart physically hurt for four days, and I still can’t think about that trip without remembering this incident and wanting to collapse in shame. I never told my parents or my siblings besides the two who were present. I also swore them to secrecy—which isn’t something they would agree to unless it really mattered.
This was two summers ago. I was traveling in Europe with my parents and three of my siblings. We went to four countries, traveling by train—I especially took the time to plan the whole thing out. One nice thing I planned on our first day in Geneva was a trip to UN building. We were all really excited.
Note: I’m from New York. I’m also a female if that helps with context. I was 19 during this trip, but when I was 16 my class went on a trip to the NYC UN Building. My experience there was nice enough. The tour guide was extremely present, lively, trying to spur intrigue and make every small bit interesting. He was totally into his job.
Ok back to the story. So we walked for a long time to get there. It was up some hill and the directions were unclear. When we finally got there—the space was empty. We ended up waiting 40 minutes with other tourists until someone opened the door and let us in for the tour.
I showed my passport, got a visitors pass, went through security, went to the gift shop and got shirts for too many people. Then this young man (I would guess 35) walks in and asks us to gather. He’s the tour guide.
Now I’m going to try to describe this guy. He wore a plain suit. He told us that first and foremost he’s a translator (French and English) at the UN, and that giving tours is a secondary thing. He was eloquent and clear and knowledgeable. He also basically lacked any animation. He seemed very jaded or maybe that’s his personality. In his voice and in his facial expression. Not saying he was incapable of being animated—but just that he made it very clear he didn’t want to be giving this tour. He walked really quickly, didn’t chat or answer questions in between walking from room to room, he made only sarcastic jokes, and he briefly explained the history behind some rooms.
Now I wasn’t complaining. He spoke. I listened. Honestly I thought if I were to give a tour it’d be pretty similar to his style. I have a tendency not to be animated when I probably should be.
The tour was over. As we were leaving, I approach him and say “Hey I have a question. Are you as miserable as you look?” Before I said this, I thought it was completely normal thing to say. Correct me if I’m wrong: someone from New York wouldn’t be offended by this. They would know I was acknowledging the fact that they hate their job, Maybe that’s what I wanna think to let me sleep at night. Anyways, his eyes bulged. And he looked so disgusted and shocked. My heart starts hurting and I say “wow sorry that was rude.” And he just stares at me and in his accent goes “yes that was extremely rude.” Cue me running away before he can say more, and me feeling physically horrible for four days while my sisters first are equally stunned, then laugh and then try to cheer me up. I honestly don’t remember much else about Geneva because the whole time I kept reliving this incident in my head.
Idk if I was guilty of some culture faux pas—which is what I would like to think happen. Or I’m just an asshole who can’t ask appropriate questions.
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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MbLJNpmsXZ8TfaEzj0z8KTu1Etf05HMd
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asva2i
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{
"description": "wanting to move on from this friendship",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting to move on from this friendship?
|
So I have a friend (I'll refer to them as J from here) that I considered pretty close and I held them in high regard as a person. Lately J's been acting (at least in my opinion) a little immature generally, whether they were dealing with a work problem, family issue, whatever. Nothing that affected me so my attitude is act how you want it's your business.
However, just recently J was hit up by someone they knew from awhile back looking to hook up. J asked this person if they were still with their SO, which they were. At first J was pissed off and told this person to stop contacting them, but eventually they agreed to meet up with them, knowing full well that this person still was in a relationship. When J told me, the gist of it was that nothing happened between them, but J wouldn't care if it did because they didn't owe anyone anything.
Now I know I said how other people act is their business and I still believe that, but AITA for just wanting to slowly distance myself from J? I can't support that behavior personally, and I don't feel like starting a fight over something that isn't my business.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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6vunYxxNHUuPS5riMOc1mSPqo9TE7QbQ
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afat4z
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{
"description": "sleeping with my (now ex) girlfriends's best friend while we weren't officially together",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for sleeping with my (now ex) girlfriends's best friend while we weren't officially together? (long)
|
Throwaway account for obvious reasons. It's also really long, sorry. But I'd really like to hear your thoughts.
​
People are me, ex-girlfriend (GF) and her friend (F).
​
I met GF a couple of years ago in the major European tourist destination where I live. At the time I had a little bit of notoriety and a wild confidence and was having a lot of success with women. (Not intending to humblebrag, it's relevant to whether I am an asshole). My number one rule was to be totally upfront about everything and only sleep with girls who understood that it was never going to be anything serious. Girls who were looking for something serious didn't normally think much of me, so the system worked well. I was promiscuous, but I believe I was respectful too.
​
One night I'm in a bar, when two girls approach me and start flirting. I'm immediately into both of them, and my wild confidence begins to wonder if I can swing a threesome. I take them to another bar, and GF tells me that F wants me to take her home. I figure "that's her in the bag then", and immediately kiss GF to see if they'll both come. It doesn't quite work out like that -- F goes home with one of my friends, and GF and I hook up on the bathroom sink. Everyone's happy though.
​
I still think a threesome is possible, so I invite them both out again. I'm doing this "which nationality kisses better?" thing, and they're both into it - kissing each other and me. F is wearing a short dress and every time we kiss I discreetly slip my fingers up and touch her. It's turning into a wild night, but GF isn't into it and comes home with me alone.
​
A couple days later GF and I go for dinner and suddenly I realise I'm really falling for her. She's only in the city for a few months, so I suggest being exclusive for that time so we can enjoy life together properly before she leaves. She's against the idea initially (she wasn't looking for anything serious) but comes round to it. After a blissful few months we tell each other that we love each other, but she still eventually leaves for a different country. I've already been hurt by the long-distance thing once so we officially break up.
​
My life goes back to being a wild cartwheel of women, and she dates other guys too. A few months after she leaves, F and I meet drunkenly on the street by chance. I've always wanted to sleep with her, and she feels the same, so I take her back to mine. We both understand it's a fun, no strings attached, one night thing. I really enjoy it, no regrets.
​
For the next couple of years, I call GF every week and we see each other every few months. Most of the time she comes to me, I sometimes come to her, we meet each other's parents etc. We aren't officially dating, but we come to rely on each other emotionally. Eventually she tells me that she wants to quit her job, move back to my city, and be together.
​
So far, by her choice, we've operated on a "don't ask, don't tell" policy with regard to other partners. But I think that if she's going to make such a big life decision to be with me, she should have all the facts. I tell her the number of girls I've slept with during our relationship, and also that I slept with F a few months after she left. She tells me that she slept with an ex-boyfriend and dated some other guys for months at a time. I tell her that I really enjoy our relationship, and I've made mistakes in the past by trying to change things too quickly, but I'll be happy if she moves back. Everything seems good, and a week or so later (while she's arranging to move back) she calls me to explicitly say she's totally fine about the whole situation. I forget about it. In fact, I organise a big ten day roadtrip with her and some friends to welcome her back to the country.
​
As soon as I meet her on the first day of the roadtrip, I can tell that something is wrong. She doesn't touch or kiss me. But she's otherwise the cool, awesome girl I've always known. For a while. Then she starts putting me down in front of my friends, humiliating me, really twisting the knife. I'm confused. I've never known her to be cruel before -- and she's always on her phone smiling about something. I figure she's seeing another guy, and about half way through the trip I confront her and she admits it.
​
In theory, I'm 100% fine with this. But in practice: she's lied to me; she's ignoring me; she's being actively cruel. And all the while I'm spending huge amounts on the first holiday I've had in years. It's horrible for me, and her, and my friends, but we talk about it and end the trip on superficially good terms. I'm wracked emotionally. On the one hand, I'm totally comfortable with polyamory. On the other, the needless deception and cruelty were deeply hurtful.
​
As soon as the road trip is over, I decide to hike deep into the mountains with a friend in order to clear my head. But the trip is a disaster. I'm fit and experienced, but I didn't have much time for planning, and I end up with no real food, a three-day hike to the nearest town, and crippling altitude sickness. I drag myself out of the mountains on foot, losing 10% of my bodyweight in just a couple of days, and hitch-hike back to my city. GF tells me to come to her place, and I arrive with a fever, barely aware of what's happening around me. We spend an hour talking through some of her problems, and then she puts me in her bed and then goes out partying. The next day, she tells me I have to go home (a 2 hour train journey) because she wants to hang out with some friends of mine instead.
​
I literally don't have the strength to carry my things, so I leave it all behind. Somehow I make it home and call my dad. Before I can say a word, he tells me that my grandfather has just been diagnosed with terminal cancer. After the call, I text GF looking for support, and explain that I was upset that she left me when I needed help. She calls me and shouts down the phone for 7 minutes straight. At this point I'm just crying silently and watching the timer go up.
​
Over the next few days, she keeps telling me she loves me, but never manages to do even one thing that a normal person would do for someone they love. Some of my work acquaintances show me more warmth and kindness. I'm very confused. My behavior becomes toxic and unattractive - I'm pushing her away because I'm desperate for her to prove that she does care about me after all. But she doesn't. I find her other lover's email address on the internet and contact him to make sure he had all the facts too. She calls me in tears. It's clear who matters more to her. She tells me she's ashamed.
​
GF arranges for her other lover to come visit the city. It's my birthday. The weight loss from the mountains and the emotional turmoil of what feels like a deep betrayal is too much for me, and I declare the relationship over. She's fine with it. You can't heal by hurting other people, so even though my heart is breaking we meet one last time and I say every nice thing I can think of, and we hug goodbye. Hours later, she meets her other lover and I binge watch netflix to escape life. Over the next few weeks, I discover to my horror that terms like "heart break" and "heart ache", which I'd always assumed were poetic, are actual, literal expressions for the physical manifestations of extreme emotional pain. It sucked.
​
For so long I had felt like the king of the city. I had been convinced that by being open and honest no-one would get hurt. But I've spent the last 5 months wondering if that was all a mad delusion.
​
I've quit dating until I can clear my head. But I can't work it out.
​
What's your judgement? Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
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EVERYBODY
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WRONG
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9Ek37j806LUfZSmQrPTBJ4ZE8qQXiLPc
|
b2k2bh
|
{
"description": "cutting Contact with a Cousin",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for Cutting Contact with a Cousin
|
Am I the arsehole for attempting to cut contact with my cousin.
​
I was quite close with this cousin, visiting often - and on relative good terms. There were ups and downs, but there are many things that I cant forgive.
​
One time, my cousin had organised a party for thier birthday, and invited my aunt. My aunt was in a rough, financial situation and was unable to afford to go, so attempt to message the cousin about this. However, what my aunt did not know is that my cousin had changed their number the day before the party, and did not tell my aunt - so my aunt thought that she had sent the message when she had infact not.
​
Another time, my cousin had told me all the details about my uncles death (not the cousins father, from another one of my nan's sprouse), about where he was found, how he was found - and read out some disturbing facebook posts he posted. I feel that this should be my aunts job, not theirs - so this upset me when they did this.
​
A third, and possibly the most annoying one - cutting contact with my Grandad. He is a great man, and I would not change him for the world. As previously mentioned, my cousin had changed thier phone number, so whenever my Grandad attempted to message my cousin, asking how they were etc, he never got a reply. However, around christmas time that same year, my Grandad was able to get their new phone number, and phoned to ask what they wanted for christmas, "despite you not speaking to me for the whole year". This apparently annoyed my cousin, so they cut contact with my Grandad. However, after a good year and a half, my Grandad had attempted to contact my cousin again, however as they had blocked his number had to do it through a third party. When my Grandad finally reached my cousin, they refused to speak to him - and got another person to do it. My cousin then complained about my Grandad, and this was the final straw.
​
Am I the arsehole for doing this?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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3MdQpComOFHPQrFTjTvYu9tDxzBINbUw
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ayilqv
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{
"description": "only liking one of my dogs",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for only liking one of my dogs
|
I have two German Shepard’s one is 3 years old (I’ll call him B) and the other is 12 (I’ll call her M). I’m 24m and these are actually my moms dogs, but they live with me. The older dog we’ve had since I was in high school. M was actually a birthday present to me from my mom.
M doesn’t listen to me or anyone for that matter. She knows basic commands like come, sit, down, and stay but like I said M doesn’t listen not even for food. When I walk M she lunges at people and especially dogs that we pass. Both these dogs are 90-100 lbs so they’re big and it’s hard to control two of them let alone one. B knows the basics and will listen most of the time but he feeds off M’s energy so when M is unfriendly then so is B. I don’t know how to train M as she is old and I can tell her joints hurt sometimes by the way she walks. She barks at B whenever I play with him which is annoying, but not hostile in any way just loud and bothersome. Both are friendly towards people at the house. B will get a bit crazy around newcomers but he’s not mean, doesn’t bite, and calms down eventually. I don’t know why they’re so bad out in public.
The problem lies in that I want to move to a new home and I want to take B, but not M. My mom has this BF who doesn’t like dogs and won’t take either of them. Ultimately my mom knows that if I leave and I can’t take them that she will have to manage with them somehow.
So am I the asshole because I don’t want to take M with me?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
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FSRr5eYDCF4jap0xOGo9rh8VjqGCP6Ld
|
aangxd
|
{
"description": "not wanting to split the pay for a Netflix account with my girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not wanting to split the pay for a Netflix account with my girlfriend?
|
So recently my girlfriend and I have been using a friend’s Netflix account, but he got tired of people using his account and changed the password. I watched maybe 2 or 3 shows on his account, but my girlfriend watched stuff pretty frequently.
Soon after he changed the account info, my girlfriend said that we should start a “couple’s” Netflix account, and split the pay for four screens. (Our immediate family would have access as well.)
I told her I didn’t want to split the pay with her, because i just am not that into watching shows and i would barely get any use out of it while paying for half of it.
Now, I know the 7$ a month I’d have to pay is that much and I’m not in any financial crisis but I just didn’t want to pay for something I didn’t need, but I know she wanted the account.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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xTlsEUOkteE7NP24JR5at3dC0r14dc4A
|
9y3k9n
|
{
"description": "not being comfortable with my girlfriend sending a male friend money",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not being comfortable with my girlfriend sending a male friend money
|
Basically, my girlfriend has a friend she made online prior to our relationship (10 years). They've met irl once. I recently found out she has been sending this friend money. I asked her about this and her response was "well, you sent (female friend) money. I ,personally feel the situations are different because I actually have had an in person relationship with this person and she had an emergency involving her child. The amounts that my girlfriend has sent have been small between 20 and 60 dollars but they have ben for things like cigars and video games. Am I being an asshole for feeling like that is inappropriate?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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KOvQXiHhQOU0ik7zyh7xfIshxYcBXAVZ
|
alrc2j
|
{
"description": "going on a family trip to Europe without my fiancé",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I went on a family trip to Europe without my Fiancé?
|
This may be long but the details are important here. My step family has a family reunion every year where they all travel from around the world and spend about 10 days together in California. I have not been to one of these reunions in about 10 years and the last time I had seen everyone together was five years ago at my sister’s wedding. I want to attend these reunions but could never afford it. Now I can.
My 17-year-old step cousin was diagnosed with bone cancer about a year ago and it’s obviously been very tough on her family and everyone else. She was too sick to travel so last Christmas, so the reunion was in London where she lives with her family. Fiancé and I were invited to go but the dates overlapped with our own travel plans. We both wanted to be there but couldn’t.
Fast forward to now, Step Cousin is responding well to treatments and seems to be doing better. She hopes to attend our June wedding and has really been looking forward to it. She even said it was the one positive thing in her life that was making her excited which made me tear up.
This is where it gets tricky. The next family reunion is happening the first week in August in France. Fiancé and I are both invited again but he can’t go because he doesn’t have the time off. However I do. I want to go so badly to France and see my cousin and that side of my family. I barely see them because they live all over the world and they only get together once a year.
I told my Fiancé about the trip and if it was somthing he wanted to do. He said he can’t go because of the time off and “would be really pissed if I went without him”. Hearing that made me really mad and I told him I wasn’t going to let him prevent me from going on this trip. My fiancé and I got into a huge fight because he says he feels like he’s being excluded which is not true at all. He’s 100% invited but has no vacation left because the time off he had he’s using on two bachelor parties and our honeymoon.
I think it’s crap he can leave me alone for these two bachelor parties yet he’s going to be mad if I go to the family Europe trip without him. He’s gone off and done plenty of movies/day drinking/beer festivals/sports games without me and I have never stood in his way and said he couldn’t go. WIBTA if I went?
TL;DR: family reunion to see my step cousin with bone cancer conflicts with my fiancé’s schedule yet I can go.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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zgTmxlMDyj4YhmuThN50csdKjvxt665L
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aoj3xz
|
{
"description": "being angry at my hungover gf",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being angry at my hungover GF?
|
So my GF and I work at the same (very understaffed) retail store, mostly on different shifts, I have worked there a lot longer than she has, and I’m very close friends with a lot of our colleagues. Our store gets manic on some days, and as many retail workers know, running a store on a couple of people is hard work. Over weekends, I work Saturdays, and GF works Sundays. I have exams coming up, so I was making a thing of avoiding all overtime in order to study and have time to myself a little. I’d been asked to work overtime this weekend, but I’d refused for that reason, so the store was as tightly staffed as usual on Sunday (3 people overall incl. GF).
About 5 or 6 weeks back, a friend invited us for a night out clubbing to celebrate her birthday (this past weekend - Saturday - I’m sure you can see where this is going). I mentioned to GF that she was working the day after, and because she isn’t used to going out/drinking, it might not be a good move to go out the night before. She insisted it’d be ok, and we wouldn’t stay out too late; “only 3 or 4am”. I also warned her that it wasn’t an option to “just call in sick” as I wasn’t happy for her to put my friends in the shituation of having almost no one in-store.
Ofc, the night out comes around, we go out, have a good time, come back around 1:30am. She’s drunk a little too much, ofc. And then, ofc, she was feeling awful the next morning. Shocker.
I prewarn my friends that she’s gonna be feeling rough, but I drive her into work (even tho she has her own car) for 10am, and then go back home to nurse my own hangover a little. And then, I start getting texts. “I feel so awful”, “I can’t focus at all”, “I feel so light headed”. I was expecting it, but I told her that it’ll pass eventually and to just keep drinking water. Then she starts asking me to come in, that I can have her pay for that day, etc... and even though I’d made it clear I wasn’t happy about the requests, and I wouldn’t be working, eventually by about 1pm, (Stupidly) I relented, grabbed my work top and started to drive over.
And this is what I’m really, really pissed about. I got there, and walked in the door, looked pretty annoyed. “Elliomitch, it’s ok, I’m feeling better now, you don’t need to work”.
She’s now upset that I’m really mad at her, and we have fallen out over it... AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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rtv0ZVlrFtMJXqFpVIjhbuO448FSFKVt
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avhnv6
| null |
AITA for my comment.
|
Another sub on here, lady post a comment about lady parts, periods, and how dumb men are. I'll try to quote as best I can.
" I ran out of tampons and told my bf. He told me to go get most of it out. All men are dumb. 😂."
My comment. "Men don't have vaginas or experience with periods. Instead of calling all men idiots why not teach him. All women are emotional idiotZ".
I was trying to prove a point by way of satire. It don't not get a positive response. Am I the ass whole?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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kLnZa3fkKgbzKxigtiRRNrlhnq7QIjL2
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aqo67d
|
{
"description": "not wanting to move closer to my girlfriend's hobby",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to move closer to my girlfriend's hobby
|
About 8 months ago the company I was at laid off over half of the development team. I was not laid off, but it was made pretty clear that there was not going to be room to grow there so I started looking for a new job. Got a new offer within a month at a place about 45 minutes - 1 hour away for $25k more than I was making. During rush hour my commute was about 1h15m - 1h30m. I'd leave around 7am and get home around 6:30pm.
​
Our lease was ending in three months, and we had been planning on moving out already. I suggested moving somewhere in-between where we work and let her choose the place. So she found a place she thought she liked and we ended up moving there. It's about a 30 minute commute to work for me, and a 30-40 minute commute to work for her depending on traffic.
​
Now, for the hobby. She's part of a non-profit organization from our college that creates cat sanctuaries. She takes care of two cats that live outside her house from junior year. It's about 10 minutes from her work, but it's in the opposite direction. Her commute home, including feeding the cats (as in parking, going to the sanctuary and feeding the cats), is about 1h15m.
​
She hates it, understandably, because having a 1h15m commute sucks balls. But it's a hobby, there's other people in the organization that can help feed the cats, but she's adamant that she has to be the one to do it. She wants me to look for a new job so that we can move back to where we used to live.
​
In the first month, I said yeah we can do that once our lease is up, but I've actually grown to like my new job a lot. I'm a respected member of the team, the workload is pretty heavy but manageable, my boss is a great guy, and the money is good. I even got a 5k raise in my yearly review. I said we can try to move 15 minutes closer, but she says that's barely going to make a difference and we have to move all the way back.
​
I just think that's ridiculous. I get that she loves these cats, but I don't think she needs to be the one to feed them every day. I think it would be absolutely absurd to leave my job just so that she can be closer to the cats. She complains about it constantly and we keep getting in fights because I tell her she should just let someone else feed them during the week and that I wouldn't move anywhere that my commute would be longer than 45 minutes.
​
My latest suggestion has been that we wait for our lease to end and try to see if we can switch to monthly payments with no lease, then if I can find a new job that seems good we can move. She's not happy with that and wants to move as soon as the lease is up. We ended up getting into a fight about it where I said that living somewhere that our commutes to work are similar is more important than living close to her cats.
​
I get that it's important to her. Hell, I even used to drive her there every weekend before she got a car, and helped pay for the food before she started taking food donations. I actually think it's amazing what she does and how committed she is to them, but I just think it's ridiculous to base decisions about my career around these cats.
​
So, am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
qaKTSGn7me0haM5ecfC5YYvygxDxBkxg
|
b8owbr
|
{
"description": "telling my brother not to listen to dating advice from girls",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 16
}
|
AITA for telling my brother not to listen to dating advice from girls?
|
My younger brother's 13. I'm 19M. Recently, he's been asking some people, including me, about how to get a crush. We had a pretty lengthy conversation with it, because I'm on vacation from college for the week.
So, he mentioned that he asked a female friend of his, and she said something along the lines of just be nice. I told him while it's true, it'a not the greatest advice, because *just being nice* won't really do anything. You need to be nice + do some other stuff. Later on in the conversation, when he kept mentioning a lot of advice the same female friend gave (most of it *true* but not good advice). So I asked him, is this girl straight? He said, as far he knows, yes. I told him, it's generally not good for guys to take dating advice from straight girls (or vice versa, girls taking advice from straight guys), because straight girls don't have experience trying to get other girls to like them romantically.
For whatever reason, my brother let this drop to my mom. I don't think it's a big deal, but she thinks it's sexist. I don't see it that way because 1) it's common sense that straight girls have no experience flirting with other girls, and therefore aren't going to be giving the best advice and 2) it isn't sexist, because it goes both ways, and the vice versa also applies: I wouldn't expect girls to come to be fir dating advice on how to get a guy, because I have no experience with that.
Aita?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 15,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 16
}
|
WRONG
|
WKrXZQti4oTXAHC6rgO1o6hJ6UcG153A
|
b279f2
|
{
"description": "selling a charger for a nintendo device",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA when i sold a charger for a nintendo device
|
I work in a shop for all kinds of electronics and yesterday a customer came in. He was having a good look around and then seemed to have found his desired product. It was a charger ( Micro usb to be exact) He told me and i quote " does this work with Nintendo"? and I said yes it does as it was for the 3DS 2DS etc. Now he came back opened it without even looking and we don't really take back products if they're opened. Except if they're damaged. He tells me now that it's for a switch and the switch uses... USB C so he got really mad and told me i'm a retard. He didn't have his switch with him before nor did he say it was for a switch he just sayed nintendo... It did state that it works only with 2DS and 3DS Am in the wrong here ?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
soX5iuveAriHRoCJJpLZVW1CyVQdqqF5
|
b206o6
|
{
"description": "not wanting my friend's boyfriend to come to a music festival with us",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting my friend's boyfriend to come to a music festival with us?
|
I'll try to make this as short as possible. I'm(18F) going to a music fest over the summer with my friends Erica (19F) and Liz (17F), for the second year in a row. Last year, the three of us went, along with Erica's cousin(20M), because our parents would only allow us to go if a guy came to "chaperone". I'm now dating him, but I wasn't at the time of the festival. A few months ago, I asked them how they'd feel about my close friend coming with us, as I knew she'd get along with them + liked the same bands. Liz said she'd prefer it to be just the three of us. I saw where she was coming from and dropped the idea.
Well now Liz is in a relationship with her coworker Jared(25M), and they're constantly joined at the hip. I disapprove of their relationship for obvious reasons, but I don't inherently dislike Jared. Erica and I have tried to be understanding, but we've been irritated because Liz has been assimilating Jared into our lives by bringing him everywhere we go and engaging in excessive PDA. We told her that we won't hold it against her, but can't support the relationship due to the age gap. Anyway, Liz mentioned the idea of Jared coming to the fest with us several times. We've both told her no, as we thought it was gonna be just the 3 of us and we didn't wanna change that. Liz started trying to list reasons he should come: that he could buy alcohol in-festival, and that he could "protect" us. She also tried to say that it wasn't fair that I got to bring my boyfriend last year, but she can't bring Jared. I think the situations are completely different since I wasn't dating him last year, he's Erica's cousin + our friends, andd our parents wanted him to go. Liz told us she understood where we were coming from and we thought the matter was done with.
Apparently not. Liz texted us today asking if Jared can come to the festival with us, and that he bought a 10 person tent for the 4 of us and sent a photo of them putting together the tent. We didn't respond for awhile and she started calling us and texting us separately. Erica and I are trying to figure out what to do in this situation. At this point Liz isn't even giving us a choice. We feel like Liz is disregarding our feelings on the matter, and also being a bit of a hypocrite since she was the one so insistent on it being the three of us. It's not even that we dislike Jared, we just think we'll have a better time without him there. When they're together, they're all over each other and it irritates me and Erica. Is it really that hard for Liz to go a weekend without Jared? We just want a carefree weekend with our gal pals and bringing Jared would change the entire dynamic.
Am I being unreasonable here? I mean, maybe we're making a big deal out of nothing. But it really irritates me that Liz won't take no for an answer and keeps pressuring us to agree.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 13,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
8t0Z07fiJr0H92XAlMqD4f7EtVVHvQal
|
azpnfx
|
{
"description": "getting annoyed about staying up late and calling my gf",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For getting annoyed about staying up late and calling my gf
|
Me and my gf are in a long distance relationship so everyday(yes literally every single day) we call at around 10 o clock. It was her idea to do it because it made her feel safe and all that stuff but the thing is it can kinda be annoying, I try to do my best to make the best out of it but it can really by tiring and annoying at some times. From Monday through Friday I have school, I get up at 6 am and go to school at 7 am and get out at 2 pm and on Saturdays I have work where I get up at around 8-9 pm and work till 3-5 depending on how the day is and Sundays I usually get up early since my family goes out. I don’t Go Take naps because my dad gets mad at that and my gf always suspects me of doing something I shouldn’t because when I take naps I usually just knock out but the reason I’m always tired is because I don’t get enough sleep. My Parents Recommend I go to sleep at 9 pm but I always have to wait until 10 pm so I can call my gf , she usually wants us to do something like play roblox watch a movie or just call and talk but I’m not really good at starting conversations and sometimes that’s the reason behind us fighting. We played Roblox 3 days straight and we usually stay up all the way until 12 or 1 and usually when I don’t want to do something she’ll get mad and this will carry on all the way until a week or so, I never tell her no because she’s sorta like a cry baby where she’ll cry until she gets what she wants but lately it’s getting annoying and I don’t know if I’m in the wrong or not. She also enjoys Video calling and makes me video call her for a week straight or so but I barley show my face at all. I’m not allowed to fall asleep before her because she’ll have a nightmare and we have to leave the call on and wear earbuds the entire night until we wake up, I hate to admit it but I really am annoyed of this, Am I the asshole for not liking this
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
tTHjNJ9ehmCgdkJ9nKOpTZB9oNi0cX0e
|
ariii3
|
{
"description": "wanting my room back when I come home from college",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for wanting my room back when I come home from college?
|
There are three bedrooms in our house, one for the parents, another for my brothers, and one for me. I fully expected one of my brother's to move into my room when I went to college (why should they share a room if there is one available?) When I come home for weekends or extended breaks though, I still want a space in the house that isn't the living room couch. My parents have made it clear that the room is still mine and when I come back I can have it. My brother doesn't like to leave and often ends up sleeping on the floor when I use the bed. (He has his bed in his room still.) This has been making me feel pretty guilty, and I'm wondering AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 8
}
|
WRONG
|
kN6DjbSXgSTKa1twMjaxiQ2pb8Ku5dxF
|
9usy6s
|
{
"description": "putting extreme hot chilli in my sandwich to deter theft",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for putting extreme hot chilli in my sandwich to deter theft?
|
Happened in middle school. I used to bring lunch from home (my school did not have a lunch program). During one of the classes, a friend of mine began stealing my sandwich. No one owned up to the theft. Then I had an idea, I prepared my sandwich with the hottest available pepper (short of Naga chilli), and took it in class the next day. Lo behold, I found my two pesky friends desperately looking for water bottles. The theft of sandwich stopped after it. But I always wondered if I was TA.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
QsBqjUVxC8gfQuqHyxpnFB2SGa8gXEyH
|
b09b1c
|
{
"description": "breaking up with my gf because she wants to go into the military for \"pride and honor\"",
"pronormative_score": 25,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA If I broke up with my gf because she wants to go into the military for "pride and honor"?
|
We're both 17, I'm about to be 18, and we're supposed to be going to college next year. We've been dating for 7 months and I consider this a very serious relationship. Neither of us are dating just to fool around or have fun, but to be in a committed long term relationship.
Before we started dating, someone had mentioned she had some interest in being in the military, but once I started getting to know her it was clear she was much more serious about the healthcare route. However, recently that has apparently changed.
She has been talking more and more about a career in the military, and when I ask her why, she can't seem to give me a real answer. Because of scholarships, she will already have almost no student debt when she graduates from college. Both of the careers she's considering doing in the military, computer science and physical therapy, are more lucrative in the private sector from what I know and come with a lot less sacrifices. She even told me that her goal was to help people, but now she's thinking about doing computer science in the military and I'm confused.
I know many would say that it's too early to be thinking about this, but I do not want to be married to someone in the military. I mean no disrespect to the veterans who sacrifice so much of our lives to keep our country safe, but that's not what I want for my life. I have never wanted to have anything to do with the armed forces and everything that comes along with it, and the freedom we'd be loosing by making that commitment is the same freedom that I'm seeking by not wanting kids.
Eventually she told me that her main reason for wanting to join (if she does, she's still just looking at her options) is for the pride and honor of serving her country. That's a noble thing to feel, and I've told her that if that's how she feels then she needs to pursue her dreams regardless of what I think, but if she decides to do that then I do not think I can stay with her. This is a girl that I love and that I care SO MUCH about, and if this is her dream and what will make her happy then that's what I want for her, but that's not what I want for myself.
Would I be an asshole if I broke up with her if she decides to do this? I haven't told her that I would do that or anything because I don't want to give her an ultimatum or influence her decision by waving our relationship over her head, and I think that she thinks that if she joins nothing will change, but I think that if she follows through with that I will break up with her.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 20,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 25,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
hkzvE4e1IzWop6OFCchPJR83Wmhx4E8c
|
ap61ji
|
{
"description": "telling my friend he should talk to girl he likes",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling my friend he should talk to girl he likes?
|
Okey a several days ago my friend and i were talking about his crush,(i am making his name geo for now) geo telled me he likes that girl but his close friend(which i don't know that friend) also likes that girl. He telled he never telled his emotions to her because he said he wants to that girl to be happy and also he said he helped his friend and that girl to be lovers, but i learned ther have been divorced
After they divorced Geo telled that girl he doesn't want to talk with her again for not feeling bad(i didn't understand why would feel bad i asked but he telled not so new things) but a several day ago (before the day we make this conversetion) geo and that girl started to talk with each other and we learned that this girl was protective to him in their "girlish conversetions" also geo said in days they weren't talking each other she looks so sad whenever she sees geo
And note, i moved to another city last year so i never seen that girls body language nor the girl or geos friend
Here is my part i tell him, "the fact that you didn't tell her your feeling sounds so PASSIVE, dude you are not a movie character or something the whole 'i just want to make her happy' thing sounds stupid just go tell her feelings dude"
And Geo said "i am not going to betray him"
And i "this is not a betrayal you can't ignore your own feelings like that, thats just bullshit"
Geo "you are right, thats bullshit"
so community of AITA am i the asshole? and does "just wanting to make her happy" thing makes sense?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
Iy0WzWjnnFYKldcGpDtmgPUA9VagULnh
|
az5bil
|
{
"description": "parking \"so close\"",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For parking "so close"?
|
I went to the gym this morning and the parking was full, there was one spot remaining but the car to the right was parked very close to it, as in the left tires of that car were over the line of the parking spot. I decided to park there and made sure that the car to right is still accessible.
When I left the gym, I found a woman in that car glaring at me. She started yelling about how I am "just a dick" and how I "just don't care or think about other people" for parking too close to her car, according to her the spot is "clearly not available" because her car was partially in it. After berating me for a while she drove away.
Maybe I am being oversensitive but the past couple of weeks have been pretty rough and this just completely ruined my day. Was I in the wrong for parking there? I tried my best to make sure her vehicle is still accessible, so I was very surprised to find her waiting for me just to cuss me out.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
e2B1bsoeUvDj7ndx0pM9foMQeQYc1vD5
|
an5z1d
|
{
"description": "not asking my ex first if I could take our son to a basketball game",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA For not asking my ex first if I could take our son to a basketball game?
|
On mobile, apologies for formatting, yadda yadda.
Some background: I’m a divorced father of two who’s about to get remarried to an amazing woman. I divorced my ex about four years ago, and custody has always been a point of contention between us. Eventually, my ex decided that if I ever wanted to do something with the kids that was on her time, I had to ask her first.
So, once a year, our church invites all the men to go on a little road trip to see a basketball game. I took my son last year, and we had a fun time. He got a signed basketball and he got to shoot a free throw (which he made). I wanted to take him again this year, but it turns out that the date falls on one of my ex’s weekends. I figured “Okay, I’ll ask him if he wants to go and then ask her if he says he does.” So, I call him, and he says wants to go. Thing is, he goes to ask his mom before I can, so I get an angry e-mail asking me what the hell I think I’m doing. I explain, and she claims that I’m being a manipulative bully. Then, when my kids come over, they tell me that she told my son he couldn’t go because of something that I did.
TL;DR I asked my son if he wanted to go to a basketball game that happens to be when he’s with his mom, she gets mad at me and says he can’t go because I was being a being a bully.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 6,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 8
}
|
WRONG
|
Tv1YnADO2aE7YnHNxuaIACASSrUC4Bb1
|
ard7rp
|
{
"description": "not telling my good friend the girl I like",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not telling my good friend the girl I like?
|
Howdy Reddit,
For context I am 15yo Male and a freshman in HS. After breaking up with my ex I took a little time to get over her and then took a break from even thinking about dating. But about a month or so ago I ended up developing a crush on a different girl. I told a few friends some of which are mutual friends with her. One of my friends who isn't the best at keeping a secret keeps wanting to know who she is. I keep refusing to tell him but he keeps insisting. I am worried that it will get out I'd he finds out so I haven't told him. He brings up the fact that we are good friends and that he supposedly can keep a secret which the first is true but I'm not sure about the second.
Should I tell him? Should I not? Who is un the wrong here? Some help would be appreciated.
Tl;dr- my somewhat untrustworthy friend wants to know who I like but I don't want to tell him.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
1mmNNGvlMOoxFWPOlZHkximL4RhWhoWZ
|
b6ql4z
|
{
"description": "not wanting to rekindle a friendship",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to rekindle a friendship?
|
My friend and I have been best friends for a few years now. We could be considered sisters. Before I became friends with her I had another best friend and we ended on bad terms. However, a few weeks ago my ex best friend and I started hanging out again because she apologized. When my current best friend found out, this angered her and she stopped talking to me. At first it was little things but then it grew into her purposely finding ways not to talk to me. (we go to school together so I see her everyday). It wasn’t until I texted her a few days later - because I knew if I didn’t text her she wouldn’t text me - that I found out she was mad at me for re-establishing a friendship with my ex best friend. This conversation ended with us saying we had a “clean slate”. This made no sense because the next day and even now she continues to ignore me and puts no effort in establishing our friendship again. Now, it’s been more than a month and she continues to not talk to me and even hangs out with people she said she would never hang out with. So am I the asshole for not wanting to rekindle this friendship even though we’ve been friends for a long time?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
un9MzuORloagLqzOcaZVWEeT0Dd5umtj
|
avmfkx
|
{
"description": "not wanting to be friends with someone who claims to have Aspergers / Autism",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 14
}
|
AITA for not wanting to be friends with someone who claims to have Aspergers / Autism?
|
A mutual in my friend group made mostly of women introduced to me a guy who openly admits he has Aspergers and Autism, which is why he has a hard time making friends. However, I often see males with autism are pretty much incels. He blames his “disorder” on why he finds it hard to make friends with women or socialize with women. I don’t want to prove him right, but I feel incredibly uncomfortable with him being an incel. I’ve been told he’s shy and worth giving a chance, but he is not entitled to me giving him any chance if I don’t want to.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 14,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 4
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 14
}
|
WRONG
|
kCERzRJ9HJT7TLsGkERVMPGabeF59nWu
|
aroa6w
|
{
"description": "not giving up my seat to a family at an airport business lounge",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for not giving up my seat to a family at an airport business lounge?
|
My partner and I traveled to Cancun for Valentine’s Day and on the flight back, our flight was delayed around two hours so we decided to take advantage of our priority pass lounge access. The wait is around 30 minutes since it is packed and we decide to wait it out. Once we are let it, we scored a comfy couch and a large chair where we can relax. At our thirty minutes of being there, my hub decides to go check our flight info since we don’t have a gate. While he’s gone, this family of four comes towards me and asks if they can sit on the couch. I told them my husband was sitting there so it is up to him, so I can give him a call. I call him and ask him if the family can take the couch he was sitting on, he said no since the call is cutting in and out and it was hard to explain to him that they probably only want to take a small area of the couch. When I hung up I let them know that they are more than welcome to take the chairs that are in front of us since there are 3 and someone can sit on his end for the couch. The woman then told me well since you’re sitting on that large chair can’t you just get up and sit with him?? To which I said no? Mind you, all of my stuff is on this area of the seat as well as my phone, which is charging. She said, “wow you’re very rude.” When my husband returns, the woman is trying her hardest to make it as unbearable as possible for us to be sitting near her. At one point she was about to push my husband off for her to be able to sit down. Mind you, there was a chair for her to sit, but it seems like she really wanted to prove her point that she wanted to sit on the couch. Her husband keeps telling her to keep it down and quietly telling her to stop as she keeps on being obnoxious. There was an elderly couple sitting in front of us that heard the whole thing go down so as they left, they offered the family their table and the staff of the lounge also quickly cleaned it up for them. This made me feel bad since she had two children with them and the staff was quick to help them out. AITA for not giving up our chairs for a family of four?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
VpEwvgFr1TNGkdrtUmVQ4fiDUhMNxaxn
|
abzvon
|
{
"description": "cheating during an episode of amnesia",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for cheating during an episode of amnesia?
|
i have severe depersonalization-derealization disorder, and have a lot of episodes where i blank out and 'come to' hours or days later and have no memory of what happened. doctors think i could have dissociative identity disorder (multiple personalities) and i don't act like myself during the episodes. on top of that i have PTSD, depression, anxiety, and some other shit that landed me in the hospital a couple times.
my boyfriend's well aware of this (we literally met in group therapy), and i warned him multiple times that maybe we'd be better off as fwb because i'm unstable and don't wanna hurt him. but he was determined to make it work.
fast forward six months and we'd moved in together, i finally said the L word (first person i said it to), etc. we were both still dealing with a lot of issues, but the relationship was stable.
last week or so we got in a big fight. i relapsed with self-harm and he lost his shit. escalated into a huge fight. i don't remember all the details because my dp/dr kicked in *hard* and i blanked out. i vaguely remember feeling like i was in VR, and then being in a park late at night.
when i 'came to', i was in his ex's bed naked. she was an acquaintance at the time and said that i called her sounding drunk asking for a place to sleep, and that i said my boyfriend was dead to me and i wanted a girl now (me and my bf are both bisexual men). she ended up getting a text from a friend asking if she'd seen me because i'd been missing for two days and my boyfriend was about to call the cops so she woke me up and was understandably confused.
i apologized to him profusely and tried to tell him that i was unconscious. he's witnessed similar episodes of amnesia; one time i came home acting like an ultra-flamboyant, horny gay twink for two hours before i fell asleep and woke up with no memory of what happened. he kicked me out of the apartment and told me he never wanted to see me again and ironically i had to temporarily stay with his ex (we're just friends, i'm not remotely attracted to her).
so am i the asshole if i cheated on him and had no memory of it due to a mental illness?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
6PXunsX2S67CTQKCOhgnr6WkQSSKW79s
|
ajz9lf
|
{
"description": "wanting to help my girlfriend pay for plan B",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting to help my girlfriend pay for Plan B?
|
She told me she wanted to get it and I told her I’d pay for at least half of it, but she is refusing to let me helpi, saying she ‘doesn’t mind paying for it.’ She then said that if she needs money she’ll go to her dad first. I feel like this is portraying me as using her for sex, which I know isn’t her intention and I tried to talk about how it’s not about the money it’s about the idea and sharing the responsibility, but she is absolutely set on being independent. Not sure what to do about it really because it’s a really big deal for me, even if it isn’t for her
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
HQTTWOG4gtgbjdOaECn6PmmWNJs2tnCx
|
aaek36
|
{
"description": "not wanting my boyfriend to go out drinking and stay in to comfort me after my grandad just died",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting my boyfriend to go out drinking and stay in to comfort me after my grandad just died?
|
My grandad died over the on Boxing Day night and I haven’t really been myself. I’ve been fine, as grieving a loved one goes. I’m still able to get work because I like the distraction and I don’t want to be moping alone.
But when I told my boyfriend about all this.. he still stuck with his plans to go out instead of staying home to make sure I’m okay. I told him I didn’t want him to go out because I need him here, even if there is nothing he can do. I just don’t want to be alone. I think he’s upset he can’t go out.
I feel like I shouldn’t be letting this affect his life. I know I would have been fine on my own, but I would also like to think that he would have wanted to stay with me and comfort me. I don’t think he knows what to do.
AITA for wanting him to stay in?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
NO2WzEZghyjgzmBLibPscMNrnaBavsnY
|
b2v41w
|
{
"description": "not driving my cousin to and from work anymore",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not driving my cousin to and from work anymore?
|
My cousin and I work in the same place. He's actually the one that referred me and got me this job, which I am still thankful for. I've been driving him to and from work for 8 months now. Small info to note is that he's 24 and doesn't know how to drive, nor does he have his permit. He also tells me that he's paycheck to paycheck even though his bills are only 1/3 of what we make per month.
He hasnt given me a single dime for gas. I've also taken him to a lot of places outside of work. I helped load his stuff in my car when he was moving out of his house. I helped sell his stuff on my ebay and gave him 100% of his profit after the taxes.
My brother, 19, also works with us. Today after work, he calls me and tells me about all of the disrespectful stuff that our cousin has done or said about my us to me. There was a time where he kept trying to play bloody knuckles with my brother and constantly saying no, he punched my brother in the arm. I was working but was not around the area at that time. There's another incident where my brother showed him a picture of his gf at the time and my cousin flat out said, "She looks like she gives good head." Then proceeds to try and hit on her via fb the moment he finds out that my brother and her broke up after giving a sexual relationship. To this day he still tries to hit on her. My brother knows because his ex still tells him about how our cousin keeps liking all of her pictures and sending her pm. Then on days when I call in, my cousin gets upset because I "told him last minute," when in reality I tell him the moment I find out I wont be able to make it, which is usually in the morning when our shift doesn't start until 3:30pm. He's also told my brother to take him to another city that was 4 hours away, which my brother actually did, and told my brother to not tell me. There's a lot more instances, but just listing a few: He's called me retarded and stupid (not in a joking matter) to my brother, doesnt ask if I take him somewhere but instead says that he needs to go to this place, doesnt throw his trash out from my car, has spilled stuff in my car many times, talks trash about my brothers new car every time him and another coworker talk about cars, wants to know everything that I do on the days that I call in or cant take him to work, and a whole lot more.
I feel horrible because I know he won't be able to get lunch even though he does know a lot of the coworkers here. But I'm hurt. And I feel as if hes stepping over me and especially my brother which I cannot accept. I also feel bad because my supervisor is the one who picks him up and sends him home when I can't which I know he'll be the next one who my cousin goes to once I let him know.
TLDR: My cousin got me this job with him. I've been taking my cousin to work for 8 months now, gas free, and after finding out that hes been disrespectful to my brother and I, I'm going to stop taking him to work. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
1ulKJ5yd7NaM2OK2fNlOPhbuh6IDvvxy
|
a883r9
|
{
"description": "not contributing to a co-worker whos fallen on hard times",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for NOT contributing to a co-worker whos fallen on hard times.
|
Long story short. A coworker got a DUI leaving happy hour around a month ago. (Her third one) Everything after that has been a pity story. Or we should all feel bad for her. She can't get her kids gifts anymore because of the fees associated with the DUI, yet she comes in with a new hair weave. New nails. Weed cartridges. She always clarifies everything is on "a tab."
Now all of my coworkers are looking at me as a "heartless person" for not wanting to contribute money/gifts to someone who I feel isn't even helping herself, better yet her children.
On top of all that I'm going through hard financial times myself too, but it's not something I go around work talking about.
She's a single mom too by the way. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
VdQCvbdEqI79GuTvvAMn7cFKbt7Zx0XU
|
b66gr1
|
{
"description": "accepting my co-worker's Facebook friend request without first notifying my girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 19,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for accepting my co-worker’s Facebook friend request without first notifying my girlfriend?
|
So when my GF and I first started dating (2 years ago) she instituted a rule where I have to notify her of all Facebook friend requests I get and that she has to approve them in order for me to accept them. I thought the rule was stupid and controlling but I agreed because I don’t really use FB all that much so I didn’t feel it was worth the fight.
Now fast forward about 6 months ago. My work hired someone new, a woman. I am by far the youngest person in my office and she was closer to my age then everyone else so I think she felt comfortable talking to me. She got into a fight with another co-worker pretty early on and came to me for advice and how to handle it. I told me GF about this and she was not happy. She claimed that the new co-worker was too friendly and instructed I stay away from her. She then insisted that I show her my work email about once a week so she could properly monitor my interactions with her. Again, I thought this was a bit much, but I didn’t really care because I had nothing to hide and I truly love my GF. Eventually this stopped however when I made it clear she had nothing to worry about.
Now fast forward to now, about a month ago this co-worker sent me a friend request on Facebook. I accepted it without thinking anything of it and forgot to tell my GF.
Last night, my GF demanded I give her my phone so that she could inspect it. After I gave it to her she realized I had friended my co-worker without telling her and she completely lost it. She claimed I “cheated” on her, she broke up with me, and she even contacted the co-worker to tell her to stay away from me.
I think this is all a huge overreaction. I never cheated on her, I never even came close to doing anything I would consider innapropriate. I don’t even interact with my coworker on Facebook, no messages or likes or anything.
So, Reddit, am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 19,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 19,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
bmlqAtLRWjvkVFLAabadDfHxtQzgOcHG
|
a7qu6o
|
{
"description": "telling my sister she's nothing extraordinary",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for telling my sister she's nothing extraordinary?
|
I got mad at my sister for using "I had a bad day" as an excuse to be rude I me and my family. I said things such as, "You're a teenager, all of them have bad days, you're nothing special." She proceeded to start yelling at me for not understanding her mental state. If I may add, I'm diagnosed with depression so that isn't necessarily the case. Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
lCaXuF22gOHT0WVobKK3XgoezRCAowKE
|
algvr5
|
{
"description": "not respecting people's beliefs in regards to psychics/mediums",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 10
}
|
AITA for not respecting people's beliefs in regards to psychics/mediums
|
Seems according to one of my communities Facebook pages I'm an asshole for calling out scams in the form of psychics and mediums. Same as I've done for people asking for the "windows tech support" scam and the CRA/IRS scam. Someone was asking for the number of a good medium and I felt I needed to point out that they are all scams meant to take advantage of the bereaved and it's practitioners are either mentally ill or liers. I'd say I'm pretty ok with people having Thier own beliefs and such. I care not a wit what your religion is as long as it's not hurting anyone. I'm even kind of ok with "psychics" because I think most people understand it in the same way as astrology. Something fun to burn time. But mediums.... Mediums piss me off. Stuffing their words into the mouths of the dead and claiming they came from your loved one. Its about as sacreligious as you can get without being religious. Someone may as well write me a letter and say its from my wife, but neither the penmanship nor the thought behind it was hers. And it never will be. Its like losing that sweater they last wore and getting a new one that looks sorta like it and thinking it's going to mean the same. Its not. It never will.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 10,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 10
}
|
WRONG
|
F7WG8qKymrFiXspYrglnSxAsR1uwnxy1
|
axsvgx
|
{
"description": "not really caring about a friend's mental condition",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For not really caring about a friend's mental condition?
|
So I have a friend that has a slew of things. I think most prominent are OCD and anxiety. One of his many quotes go as follows
Friend: man, I'm really nervous for this test.
Friend with issues: Yeah well I have anxiety you'll never understand being nervous.
This I can usually ignore but sometimes it's so frequent I snap and yell
OH MY GOD I DON'T CARE, NOBODY DOES!
So I'm feeling bad but I really don't care and when he brings it up it really irritates me.
So yeah, sorry if the format is off, I downloaded Reddit for this sub so yeah.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
eTVXCwxBsOLQ2lKsQw6eMid30EVQQSAe
|
afc67m
|
{
"description": "asking my gf to stop hanging around a guy",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for asking my gf to stop hanging around a guy.
|
So just for a little context I go to a school with around 300 kids from grades 4-12, and when this happened I was in grade 10.
So there was this girl that I had feelings back when I was younger. We had lots in common and we hung out all the time. Everyone in our little friend group besides her knew a had a crush on her, including this one guy. Let's call him Mike. I asked her out because Mike encouraged me to ask her out that night. We ended up dating and since this was my first relationship I was unsure of what to do.
My friends and I all went to these youth groups in our small town and Mike would always be there. At first it started with playful banter and him constantly asking me to fight.(Which I didn't mind until it started to escalate.) It then turned into very casual flirting in front of me. Then he actually became physical with me. It got to the point that at least once a day I would have someone I knew stop me in the halls and tell me about them flirting with eachother. I even heard that they kissed but that was from a person who likes escalating things so I dont know if it was true or not.
I have two really close friends a female and a Male. The female I have known since kindergarten and had a crush on in elementary. That stopped but we have been best friends since probably grade 1.
My second friend was a guy who really didn't approve of our relationship. She wasn't the greatest gf and did some things to me that upset him, including flirting with Mike. He explained that he didn't like that we were together and my gf found out.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
8GCKJDpM7dCSjzl92q9zAXqGwMCCB2by
|
a8tmye
|
{
"description": "breaking up with long term girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 44,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for breaking up with long term girlfriend?
|
So I had a girlfriend of 9 years. When we met, she was just about to start university. A degree takes exactly 3.5 years where we live. I started uni a year later than her, and finished waaay earlier than her, while she admittedly failed some classes along the way.
After one more year, I asked her how long will it take for her to finish, as I had plans to move in together, engagement, etc. She said some classes are too hard for her, please be patient, 2 years tops.
I asked a year later. Said 1 year.
I asked again a year later. Said 1 year again.
And this went on for quite long time. I am a patient guy, and I loved her, and supported her above all.
I even tried to help her with those difficult subjects.
Then one year, I accidently walked pass her, and caught a glimpse of her computer screen. It was her online records. I went to the same school, so I automatically seen and deciphered everything that was on screen. She was nowhere near even close to finishing her degree. She was not even at the halfway mark, based on her credits. If she completed every single course on the first try from now on, she would take 2 more years.
This was the point I realized, that she spent 9 years for a 3.5 years long degree, never worked, never kept the house clean, and will possibly never finish this school.
I told her, that I want to see her records after the next exam period. If she fails the exams yet again, I'm out. If she fails to show me the results, I'm out. Mind you, during exam periods, she played league of legends for hours without me ever seeing her actually studying.
Next exam period has passed, and she didn't show me the results on her own. I asked her to show me the records, but she refused. Next day, I broke up with her. She was surprised, and said now I am the asshole.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 44,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 44,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
RIGHT
|
jIHnMpaFE0rVpqZQvPnx3SkDBreWLz7v
|
alr7i7
|
{
"description": "wanting to talk",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting to talk?
|
Ok so I’ve been pretty ill with breathing problems and anyway I had some pain meds on the weekend which made me sleepy.
So I texted my bf saying “I need to get some sleep, goodnight” and next think I know he flipped saying I was in a mood blah blah blah.
Nah man I was just really ill and needed some rest. Anyway this started an argument where he told me he was unhappy. Whenever I asked why he was like “I’m going out” and then wouldn’t respond for a while.
Then he came back and said to me that he hates that I didn’t put kisses on my text and that I don’t love him because I never mention him on Facebook. Then he said he didn’t want to be here anymore and goodbye forever and he was going for a walk.
Anyway, I was in hospital at this point so not much I could do in regards to getting to him to ensure he was safe. Plus he lives like an hours drive away. So I tried calling and calling him and no answer so obviously I was worried out of my mind. So I messaged his mum and told her what had happened and she replied “Oh he’s in bed asleep now, he’s fine. He does this often just ignore it”
So anyway, I got some sleep knowing he was ok. But I wanted to know wtf it was all about.
So the next day I asked him to come and talk to me face to face and he made some lame excuse.
Anyway, it’s now like what 5 days or so since then and he just won’t talk to me.
Am I the asshole here for wanting to know what’s up? I don’t know what to do, so this morning I actually told him I need a break from him so he’s left his phone at home all day.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
uiC7uQ2OlkZMD1spqzgWhYCYOHbc026M
|
abs3yy
|
{
"description": "reporting possible child abuse about my brother",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for reporting possible child abuse about my brother?
|
Hello, I try to make this as short as possible.
Little bit of a background: when I was living with my brother, mother and his third husband, they mistrested me physically and mentally. My mom has bitten me, scrathed me, pulled my hair and pulled my hands with aggression. My step father has hit me in the head with varoius objects (bottles, household stuff etc). Also they are really manipulative and forced me to do all the house work since I was 12. My mom once kicked me and his husband out of the house when I was 13 or 14 because she accused us for fucking behind her back, which is absolutely not true. And this is just a little bit of things what has happened. I'm no longer in contact with my mother or her husband.
My brother (as far as I know) hasn't ever got physical punishemnt, but this is not for certain. He's always been the favourite child, however he just sits and plays in his room because he is scared of our mother and is very anxous. Also he has said that there's no food in the house, just beer and they have been drinking for years everyday, I've witnessed it. Now, they force him to do all the housework.
My brother's father (not my father) wishes that my brother would live with him and my brother too, but they are too scared to ask my mother that. I asked the CPS to help with the moving out. Also they haven't let me to see my brother at all and black mail me by not letting us see each other. My brother is 14 and cries because of this, but my mother wants just to punish me.
So, after I filed the report, my grandma, who's always been on my side, called me and accused me of breaking our family and said that if I just could spend time with my mother, none of us would be unhappy. My former stepfather/brother's father, who's very dear to me, also won't talk to me anymore and my brother has blocked me from all the social media (this might be my mother's doing, last time me and my brother chatted, he wanted to see me so bad).
I don't know if deserve this or not.
tl;dr AITA for filing a case for my brother's neglect even if it breaks the family apart?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
3LSNSrnyiCSurLrbrLU7M9tPbOVmVrbw
|
9up6re
|
{
"description": "being very childish to a stranger who gave me a preach about passing a red light",
"pronormative_score": 19,
"contranormative_score": 72
}
|
AITA for being very childish to a stranger who gave me a preach about passing a red light?
|
I was riding my bicycle on the street I pass every day and usually during this time of day it's very calm, no traffic. The bicycle track has a seperate lane.
I was on my way to the bus for work where I would be working for 12 hours with a 2 times 2 hour drive like the day before.
Today there were no cars, no one, except for one man, guessing in his late 50's, on a bicycle who was obediently waiting in front of a red light that I passed.
A few moments later, he passed me (turns out he has an electrical powered bicycle) and rides next to me and we have this conversation:
Him: Are you in a hurry or something?
Me: There was no one there. No point in waiting if I can see for myself it's safe to cross.
Him: Well that's not how rules work. You should obey the law.
Me, imitating him: Wej that's njot ho wules wok. U shud obujj teh luww
Him, confused: ..What.. Well.. That's.. Very childish of you! Asshole!
Me: Yeah good day to you sir, see ya.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 72,
"OTHER": 19,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 19,
"WRONG": 72
}
|
WRONG
|
nxBB4SFU9ESNcSKHVkxH8KLtzDgIwsQ4
|
aioc43
|
{
"description": "making a d&d bard based on Stan Lee",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for making a d&d bard based on Stan Lee
|
The group is very chill making jokes most of the time but i really don't want to offend anyone
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
xpkgn41MXJMm5AQ8EhiefQX3O2wLQWcy
|
awh64k
|
{
"description": "not allowing my mother's boyfriend at my wedding",
"pronormative_score": 23,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA for not allowing my mother’s boyfriend at my wedding?
|
TLDR: I despise my mother’s boyfriend who has not treated me well and do not want him in attendance at my wedding. WIBTA for not allowing my mother to bring him?
Basic backstory is that my mother and father separated when I was around 12 and have both since found new relationships. It wasn’t the messiest divorce, but by no means was it amicable and I was very angry for how it went down, especially in regards to my mother, for quite a few years.
At this point, I’m 21 and have a wonderful boyfriend that I’ve been with for over a year. We’re living together in his country while I do university here and it’s been going well. We‘re not engaged, but we’ve spoken about it and it’s just a matter of when (I’m not pressuring him).
I despise my mothers boyfriend. My mother didnt handle a new relationship with this person and her children well. She moved him into our house without any regard for my or my sister’s feelings. We were just ambushed one day and told that he and his disabled mother were moving in. I admit that at first he attempted to form some sort of relationship with me, but when I didn’t bite, it became mutual ignorance. He then began to erase every semblance of my father from that house. He destroyed our pool, he turned my sandbox into a pit for his cigarettes, he painted over the mural that my father painted for me, etc.
I never left my bedroom because I was so uncomfortable in the house and barely spoke to my
mom. The only time I got with my mother was when we would watch this one show every week. Once when we were watching this show, he came in, grabbed the remote from me, and told me about how I was such a terrible child who didn’t respect my mother or him and I needed to get my act together and then threw the remote and stormed out. I never again watched that show with my mother.
After I went to university, things got a bit better with my mom and I worked on forging a relationship with her that didn’t involve him. And things are better now. We hang out and talk and I’m happy to have her in my life. But I will not go to anything if he is involved. To be honest, I don’t really care if she feels bad for having to pick me or him because I was never picked when I needed her when I was younger. She says I don’t want her to be happy, but I believe that incredibly selfish to say and I don’t want to deal with it.
Anyway, here’s the basic question. I told my boyfriend that my mother could not come with him to our wedding. He doesn’t think that’s fair to her as he’s in a very similar situation with his mother and her boyfriend and that I should want my mother there no matter what. He tolerates her boyfriend and speaks to him because he loves his mother so much, but he doesn’t like him. I don’t want that. I don’t want to feel this hate inside me when I’m supposed to be my happiest. So WIBTA for only allowing my mother to come without him?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 23,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 23,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
FuGCsXWO1ISxGhV99k8M3DsLNWD38h0z
|
asmskp
|
{
"description": "telling my roommate to not let her boyfriend live with us anymore",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA if I told my roommate to not let her boyfriend live with us anymore?
|
So I live in a college house with a lot of girls, one of the girls has her boyfriend stay over every single night (basically live) at our house for 4 months. HE DOES NOT PAY RENT OR UTILITIES. He has his own room at another house a mile away and he does all of his showering there. His main impact on my life is the fact that he uses the kitchen a lot, takes a ton of time in the bathroom, and parks in our 2 spot driveway.
I have tried to talk with my roommate multiple times about how I feel calmly and respectfully about what we could do to make our living situation work for everyone, whether that would be financially contributing or being added into the cleaning schedule. The last time I tried to talk to her about this she screamed at me that it’s just a personal problem I have with her and I’m a bitch.
To be fair she has some valid points, I don’t really like her, because she does stuff like this and is generally disrespectful. I haven’t always been the best roommate, I’m kind of obsessive about cleaning and could do a better job of expressing myself. But I’m pretty sure that it’s pretty common to feel like people living at a house should contribute. Also if it matters it’s 2 against (me and pal)/3 don’t care/4 in favor.
Anyways, WIBTA for stirring up shit with this roommate and potentially others for trying to get him out of here or to at least financially contribute?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
v992LPqirKkAa1IOAeUf0jdYR9lEmkVk
|
az8d7s
|
{
"description": "bailing on a date",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For bailing on a date?
|
I met this girl on Tinder and went on a date earlier this week. We had a lot of fun, she's cute, smart, funny etc. After a few drinks we made out for a bit and then parted. She texted me about hanging out again, tonight, and I said yes. We made plans and about 2 hours out I realized I had been dreading the date all day. I'm not sure why, I **should** like this girl, I **thought** I liked this girl, but I realized that I just know in some deep part of my unconscious that I can't see myself with her.
​
I sent her a note and said basically that she's really cool, but I feel like I'm just not ready to date right now, even though I thought I was. I apologized for bailing last minute and acknowledged that was shitty, but I didn't think a halfhearted date was better.
​
Am I a total piece of crap?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 8,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
mo9dpQURwq9b2SbbCQb1mZe0HuOjocWu
|
am0og6
|
{
"description": "wanting to stay home instead of going to a convention with my friend",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For wanting to stay home instead of going to a convention with my friend?
|
So my best friend and I had planned to go to a convention last year and three days before the con she decided to tell me that she spent all of her money for her tickets on something else and she didn't have enough money. I was fine with this and I understand things change.
A few months later though, she starts talking about how she's going to meet her online friend at a convention but she's scared to go alone and invited me to come with (I would pay for my own tickets but get to carpool and stay with them), and I said yes.
Recently though I would mention the convention is coming up and how I'm excited but she starts mentioning that her mom 'might not let her go' and that she still needs to save up money. The convention is in 2-3 weeks and she hasn't even started saving up money and has started to seem like she doesn't want me to go anymore.
TL;DR Would it be wrong if my friend expects me to go to a convention with her but I back out only a few weeks away because she's always unprepared?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
inqDpuT0hR2evwjDiLLDF3oQGYZTVu1v
|
aw3pk2
|
{
"description": "not telling my aunt about my uncle's mistress",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for not telling my aunt about my uncle's mistress?
|
Okay. So this happened a couple of years ago. My uncle picked me up from the airport with a girl that he called his "friend". We went around doing a lot of things together. I was pretty suspicious, like, who in the world is this chick? I remember meeting her several years back when. I. was younger, but it was like one meeting and I. was younger. This time I was basically going. around the city. with her and my uncle and so I. was like... is she a mistress?? That was all I could think about. We went to her apartment, she took me. to the salon, we went out to eat, she even was there in the morning when I was hospitalized at the ER to bring me breakfast O\_O!
​
After a while, I finally. asked. my mom who was surprised that I didn't realize/ask sooner. She. confirmed my guess. Yes, that woman was my uncle's mistress.
​
Now, I had very conflicting feelings about this. She treated me quite nicely, and so I did like her. My grandma likes her. My mom likes her too. And both my grandma and my mom insisted that I don't say anything at all to my aunt and not mention her at all when we talk. Because my mom was like your aunt will be furious and it's not your business etc., and that you shouldn't interfere with these things, basically. Now, I felt really. guilty, because I like my aunt and I think cheating is wrong. But I also thought the mistress was a nice person. And I didn't want to be someone who... ruins the peace, if. you. know what I mean. So in the end, my mom. convinced me, I didn't say anything, and went back home when the summer. was over. Next summer I didn't say anything either. plus, my mom does have a good point that it isn't my business...
​
Idk, I occasionally still wonder if I'm. a terrible person for not saying anything, so I wanted to ask this. here. if you guys. think I am an asshole for not saying anything in the end.
​
Some more background info: In China, mistresses are fairly common (so says my mom). My aunt and uncle have divorced once. (idk the reason, I think she said it was several years ago), but got back together (my mom said because the divorce didn't work out, idky). They have a son (older than my by three years and already graduated college). My. mom says my aunt and cousin probably have their suspicions, but no one says anything. The mistress is not allowed to have a child (I think if she did all. hell would break loose if it is a boy). My uncle lives in an apartment with his mistress, while my aunt and cousin live in a different apartment (I've actually been to both and slept in both...)
​
It's my uncle who is two timing, so why does it feel like I'm the one who's two timing...? I feel like I'm living a double life whenever I visit, it's like straight out of some soap opera.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 13,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
RIGHT
|
ycDDUqRBKhkT65t5J1e3fG71E86VRe9X
|
aam47k
|
{
"description": "ignoring a friend's wish to getting reconnect with me",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for ignoring a friend's wish to getting reconnect with me (after they screwed me over several times)?
|
Screwed me over might be harsh, but I can't think of a better phrasing.
Basically: I had a good friend in high school. I'll spare you the details, but it was the typical best friend stuff of spending 24/7 together.
After we both moved away for college, I made a LOT of effort to stay in touch. I even drove to their city multiple times to see them.
And multiple times, while I was already there, they cancelled their plans on me.
I'd be in their city, ready to spend a day with them, and they'd either forget we planned something, or cancel last-minute.
They started ignoring my messages as well. Then stopped greeting me during holiday seasons and even my birthday.
At that point I realized they couldn't be bothered making time and effort for me, so I returned the favor and cut them out of my life.
Now all of a sudden they're interested in me again and want to reconnect.
And I'm not really feeling the same way. I certainly don't want to experience what i described all over again.
So I'm kinda just ignoring them.
I dunno. Am I the asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
Rk08EdvnEIYXjcSas9Wu7d6hVyHZNbcb
|
asu9cc
|
{
"description": "being annoyed at a friend for making bad decisions",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for being annoyed at a friend for making bad decisions
|
This friend is going back to a toxic ex. This ex is so toxic that she secluded him from his friends and controlled who he talked to. They broke up for a bit and my friend reached out.
It’s been a very fun few months catching up and hanging out. But now that is new relationship crashed and burned, he’s going back to his ex. I’m becoming really resentful. I listened to him talk about how awful and controlling she was and how cold and distant and all the terrible things she said to him.
I can’t be happy for him. Everytime he Brings her up, I feel myself shutting down and getting angry. I’ve told him my opinion on it and he doesn’t really hve much to say except that he hopes it’ll be different this time.
However, I feel like if she starts controlling him being friends with me, I’d be done. I’ve said all I can say about why I think this is a bad idea, and two years down the line when they break up again, I don’t think I’d be able to open the door. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
UN1JYVf60ruUcds0JbX0fvFGLDzcbd8l
|
a7zd6l
|
{
"description": "not attending the family dinner",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not attending the family dinner?
|
With christmas around the corner the annually christmas dinner of my girlfriends family is soon and I really, really do not want to go. I'm suffering from severe depression, anxiety and stress and every year it's extremely stressful and uncomfortable for me.
But my girlfriend is autistic (aspergers syndrome) and while she likes to attend, doing so without me is enormous stress and fear for her.
Am I a selfish asshole that I despite this, rather let her go alone?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
qRmYHJjYekeExveafLcuhnBrAPmfzMy7
|
a5jyai
|
{
"description": "not wanting my uncle at my wedding",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting my uncle at my wedding?
|
Grab a snack, this might be long. I’m going to start off with some background information
about my uncle and then you guys are free to judge the situation.
When I was younger, I was very close to this aunt. She was my FAVORITE! And my uncle was always very welcoming whenever my family paid them a visit. He made sure there was dinner and snacks when my sister and I came to hang out with our little cousin. He was just...nice!
As I got older (I’m 25 now), I started noticing things like he was ALWAYS drinking beer whenever I saw him. And he never made eye contact with people when he talked to them. I chalked the eye contact up to anxiety, and the drinking to relaxing on his days off.
Four years ago, my aunt (mom’s sister) began having tremors and couldn’t function anymore. She had to quit her nursing job at the hospital. They didn’t qualify for government assistance because even without her working, my uncle made too much money I guess. So it was only him working for awhile.
Then he was fired.
When he was fired his drinking got progressively worse and he became violent. He would yell at and hit my aunt. He threatened suicide and pulled a gun on himself. Then he started taking my aunts medication that she needed.
My aunt was getting more sick by the day. Now she’s using a walker and has gotten her license taken away. She can only eat purées because she can’t chew her food with her tremors. She’s on CBD pills to calm her tremors.
She moved in with my grandmother to escape. She stayed there for a few months with my little cousin, while her brother stayed with my uncle. She got a PFA against him and was adamant about not going back. The cops took all of the guns out of the house.
My family stepped up when he wouldn’t. We had fundraisers, bought her family groceries, took my little cousin to and from work. Made sure the kids had clothes and supplies for school.
Then she went back to him. And nothings changed. The PFA was taken off.
Come to this summer. I got engaged in May and we decided to do a short engagement and get married in January! So in June I already had a guest list semi compiled. My family planned a bbq for August to celebrate the engagement. We were at a birthday party for my two cousins (mom’s brother’s kids). The bbq was brought up because invites were handed out to family. I told my aunt that her husband was not invited to the bbq or the wedding because I don’t support how he treated her. She agreed and so did my little cousin. They both said they didn’t want him there either. My aunt and cousin came to the bbq and had a good time! All was well.
Until yesterday. I was browsing Facebook and my aunt had posted a status saying how she’s “not in her right mind but she needs to vent” and how “if her loving husband isn’t accepted because of his mistakes then she’s not accepted either” and he’s “been clean for over a year” (which is a lie because this summer he nearly shot his foot off because he was so high on HER medication and alcohol but oookay).
I showed it to my mom who then told me my aunt asked her if he could come to the wedding this past weekend, to which she said absolutely not.
I just don’t want a man who beat my aunt, who takes her live saving pills to get his own high, who drinks until he’s literally unconscious and the ambulance needs to come save him...at my wedding. I haven’t talked to him in 4 years, I see no reason to invite him if I dislike him.
So, Reddit. Am I the asshole?
TL;DR: Abusive, alcoholic, pill stealing uncle is offended he’s not invited to my wedding. Aunt is offended as well so the family isn’t coming. I don’t want him there.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
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