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42syROiY5BpP31AymraZn8TGmgPZzHdJ
|
awt77a
|
{
"description": "being the \"Teachers Pet\"",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being the "Teachers Pet"?
|
So i go to TAFE in Australia which is a bit of a mix of university and school, just wit way smaller classes and easier work (its for dropouts).
The teachers there are very nice and i get along with them well. I think they respect me and see me as more than just a student. I respect them and see them as more than teachers.
A lot of the other kids dont get respect as they are rude and teach the teachers like crap. They say im the teachers pet and they exclude me saying im an asshole for being a suck up...
Am i the asshole for being the"teachers pet"?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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"INFO": 1
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OTHER
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{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
EePZ7X6ZwEXtuJhXTY4s21Z5ehmcex5v
|
b7bzda
|
{
"description": "not wanting to go to my brother's baseball game",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to go to my brother's baseball game?
|
I am in a bowling league. Every week I go bowling on Saturday, and every week after bowling I have to go to my brother's baseball game. I don't really enjoy baseball (and other field sports). I've gotten tired of going to baseball every week. I asked to stay at the bowling alley and wait to be picked up, but my parents aren't accepting that idea. Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 5,
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}
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OTHER
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{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
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|
ahk78y
|
{
"description": "taking my friends keys after she had to many shots",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for taking my friends keys after she had to many shots?
|
Sorry for formatting, on mobile. TL:DR at bottom
I (25m) and my friend (25f) went out to have a drink after work as we normally do. We both work at the same place and I just so happened to be getting out earlier than her tonight so the plan was I was going to drink while I waited for her, sober up when she's there, and go home when I'm feeling ok. I finish my drink by the time she arrives and around 20 mins into her getting there she orders me a drink.
While at the bar waiting I had decided that I was just gonna have the one, wait for her to get there, and get out when I sober up which wouldn't have been more than an hour and a half. She didn't know this and me not wanting to fight with her about a drink she was paying for I reluctantly accepted. So I was forced to stay a little later than I would have liked.
Around 11 this group of guys shows up, typical middle aged drinking at the bar because it's very cheap type of guys. They start doing shots with everyone in the bar, I refuse and my friend accepts the shot offer. She ended up doing roughly 5 shots of Petrone along with her 3 other drinks she had earlier.
A 6th shot comes for her and she refused to do it so she goes around the bar to the group of guys and gets one of them to drink it for her. The guy that took the shot only did it if she would let him get to know her as he grabbed at her waist and pulled her into himself. Immediately after hearing that I went into dad mode where I was staring this guy down. He did the shot and she went back over to chat and this guy would not let his hands off her.
She knows the bartender very well and trusts her as well as a bar regular that we've both become acquainted with, so I know if I leave they'll watch out for her. But this dude had a very creepy vibe going on about him and he was sitting with the group of guys that came in together so I stayed just to be safe.
She was pretty tipsy and I was worried about her so I ended up taking her keys to make sure she couldn't drive off anywhere, probably not the best move but it's the one that came to me at the time.
Bar is closing down and tabs are being collected and she's still chatting with the dude. Finally comes over the pay her tab and I tell her that I was concerned about her getting home and either we were going to sit in the parking lot until she sobered up or I would drive her home. She told me I wasn't driving her home and assured me we'd wait in the parking lot. She goes back over to chat with the dude
Bartender is kicking people out at 1 and after about 10 mins I tell the bartender that when she comes over to get her stuff to tell her I have her keys and I'll be waiting in my car. Wait in my car for about 20 mins until she finally comes out with the dude and immediately gets angry at me for taking her keys. I tell her calmly that I need her to get in my car because I need to have a chat with her, which she finally accepts. I have her the keys, she reads me the riot act for doing what I did. I apologized to her, told her I understood where she was coming from and why she's angry with me, and told her that I was just looking out for her and I only did it because I care about her. So AITA for this?
TL:DR. Friends and I went drinking. She had to many shots of Petrone. Offloads her last shot on a creepy guy that is very handsy with her. I pull a dad move and take her keys to make sure she can't leave
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
MARanWXbJDjhhMl3O9PbB4bWkgegcSta
|
ba40ig
|
{
"description": "taking offense if my daughter asked both me and stepdad to walk her down the isle together",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 20
}
|
WIBTA-I would take offense if my daughter asked both me and stepdad to walk her down the isle together.
|
My wife and I got in a disagreement last night about the topic of her friend had both her bio dad and step dad walk her down the isle. In this situation, the step dad was the better man, and more involved with her throughout her life. I explained to my wife that it would offend me if my daughter asked this of me as the bio dad. Especially if I was truly a good father figure in her life.
To me it is an escape goat of not trying to hurt ones feelings, the end of the day one dad was probably better then the other. And whomever is walking her down on the right side is the one truly giving her away at the alter/ceremony. You will be offending one of the dads regardless in this situation, and if the bio dad is truly a great dad, he deserves the honor.
I could see how if both dads were truly great and awesome dads, that this would be a pickle (and I think majority of us truly would want that for our daughters, if a divorce sadly happened) but the end of the day the bio dad wins out, because blood is thicker then water. Have you ever came across this situation at a wedding, and the real question is WIBA if my daughter asked me to walk her down the isle on the left side and I took great offense, and made an issue of it (again assuming that I'm a good dad).
FYI, this is a hypothetical situation for me, as I'm married to my wife obviously and my girls are both under four years old. They better not be getting married anytime soon. But my wife thought I was an AH for thinking this situation was goofy/silly/odd. I really think you should just keep it to one person walking the bride down the isle.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 20,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 20
}
|
WRONG
|
e4GpkxBxUxW647NpQdDi1Gtc8aqRdm2n
|
aff07z
|
{
"description": "not ringing the door",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not ringing the door
|
I dont want this to blow up. Maybe some sortbynew hero can help. >10 upvotes I will delete it because hes a redditor aswell.
​
This happened a year ago and it came up again because I used this situation in a joke.
A very good friend of mine, some other friends and I wanted to go partying and decided to go into a special club. We made up a time I pick the person this is about up, because his house is on the way to the nearest train station to the club. It was already 12 am and I tried to call him multiple times and wrote messages. No answer. I didnt ring because by that time he was living with his parents and grandma. It was about 12 am. I waited about 5 min and the last train was about to come so I thought there was a reason he's not coming. I went partying with the other friends and we had fun. While partying I got a message that he overslept and that it was already too late to join. I thought that its fine.
​
Now today I made a joke about him being not easy to party with because he always oversleeps. He didnt find it funny and mentioned that it was my bad for not ringing at his door. I didnt know if he was joking or not so I laughed. He said that this is his serious opinion. We are living together and I want to know if i am the a in this case and maybe someone can understand what his point is.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
sZTELPyUZ7x8bVtEoJm6VbyIIQueTX3B
|
b2xrpm
|
{
"description": "not wanting to renew my lease with my roommate and a third person",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 12
}
|
AITA for not wanting to renew my lease with my roommate and a third person?
|
So I have 2 roommates, 3 including me. One is moving out and we have to find a 3rd person. Originally I said I would stay if we found someone. We have but he is Gay and has a boyfriend. I have no problem with this normally, but I don't think I want to live with that. I'm a straight guy and my other roommate is a girl.
Am i the asshole? How do I tell my current roommate im not comfortable with this?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 12,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 12
}
|
WRONG
|
tdTTlgU3uXITWiuyvOEYMAA86UEq9DdO
|
b8zbpq
|
{
"description": "not hanging out with my friend on her birthday",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
WIBTA if I don't hang out with my friend on her birthday?
|
Today is her birthday, and she wants to do something for it. I made plans with a different friend to eat dinner today about 3 days ago. Birthday girl reminded me 2 days ago that April 3 is her special cool day, and asked what we were gonna do for it. I don't want to cancel on dinner friend, because I don't get to see her often. Birthday girl is my roommate (yes I know I don't know my roommates birthday by heart, I've always been bad at remembering them), so I see her all the time and I think maybe we can officially celebrate for her tomorrow or some other future night. So I guess the crux of the question is, WIBTA if I tell birthday girl that I made other plans, but I still want to do something special another night?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
IAGQjRIWrLkj6DByhbbjDkFmBcf0SAxx
|
ab7r21
|
{
"description": "selling a book",
"pronormative_score": 25,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for selling a book?
|
Yesterday a customer asked me if we have a book written by a politician. We didn’t have it out in the store, but we had 4 copies of it in the back, so I got one for her. At the same time I placed the three remaining copies on a table where there, among other books, were two books by other politicians from other parties. I also sold one of the books today, so now we only have two copies left.
When my coworker came into work today she saw the book and asked me why I had put them there. I answered truthfully, which was that a customer had asked for it. She, as well as other coworkers apparently, didn’t even want the book in the store as they don’t like the politician.
AITA? I don’t think it’s our place to engage in censorship, we’re just a normal bookshop, if people can read books by other politicians, why not her? However, she didn’t like it, and expressed that my other coworkers probably wouldn’t like it either.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 25,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 25,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
8KMBiqUq78Ya7BE07JduEu1ftgriOPc6
|
b2ry8c
|
{
"description": "walking away from a burning cross",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA If I walked away from a burning cross?
|
I am a memeber of a historical reenactment group who are focused on the Jacobite Risings of Scotland.
I have in the past left other reenactment groups of different periods/cultureal focuses for reasons of intergroup domestic violence (the victim also left with me) and intolerance of mental health issues.
I really like the group I am currently in and only have one real issue.
The burning cross.
In far-gone historical times Scottish clansmen would ignite a catholic cross on a pole and march through the hills with it as a call to arms of the neighboring family groups.
Sounds familiar, huh.
Now that our group is becoming more popular and asked to attend more events/paying jobs the group as a whole has been trying to come up with more historical items we can educate people about and also put on a bit of an entertaining spectacle.
We have had a printed text explination of this particular cultural event attached to an info board along with other information about Scottish clans. However now, there are a few members of the core group who would like to make it a physical display at our next MAJOR event.
I think this is a fucking terrible idea.
IMO, this is on the same level as trying to argue that its ok to display a swastika as it was not originally an image of Hate, Racism and Violence.
I have explained to several group memebers on our council group my views on this and have even offered the alternitive of maybe attaching LED'S so that it glows to the cross instead of setting alight but I seem to have hit quite a bit of of a wall with them.
I am unsure of whether or not they will go ahead with this at the event at this point. Getting ready for big events like these as a woman with a weaving and textile display is a big cost in both time and effort, let alone childcare.
I really love attending these events with our group and look forward to this event in particular.
AITA for telling them I would leave the group immediately if this idea is not canned so close to the event? I feel like I would be screwing over the other members who arent keen on the idea also by pulling my portion of the display without much time to fill the gap it would leave.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
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}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
6ioYafl8BkGmx4aB3n2XgmfgkYuG3VaI
|
avuacn
|
{
"description": "refusing to talk to a classmate bcs he looked up my parents' fb",
"pronormative_score": 23,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for refusing to talk to a classmate bcs he looked up my parents' FB?
|
A little context: this guy in my class (we both are 19) is pretty friendly and nice to me, even though I don't reciprocate at all. I'm only here to finish with class and get on with my life, not make friends in this shitty place.
But this guy, for the life of me I can't figure out what his deal is. Takes care of me, buys me snacks, wants to keep hearing about my life. I just don't get it. It's not even that he likes me, he is in love with someone else.
Anyway, he knows a lot about me from all the teeny tiny-few-at-a-time questions: my parents' names, occupations, my hometown and previous addresses, my brother's details and preferences.
Anyway, yesterday he texted me a picture of me from my childhood. But this was from my Dad's Fb account. Literally years ago.
I feel massively uncomfortable. The tidbits of info I gave out in casual conversation, he used that to know more. I am probably massively overreacting, and my dad's profile is public, and in this day and age of social media such stuff is probably common place.
But I am completely weirded out by the 'WHY' aspect. And a picture of me from when I was 3, that my dad posted like, 6 years ago (I'm 19).
Am I the asshole for feeling so uncomfortable and refusing to talk to him in class?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 21,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 23,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
bUhqtagWaNjkDLuVFwn7xbZdlHrc6KzS
|
afw3gt
|
{
"description": "getting a guy kicked off our darts team for refusing to stop touching me",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for getting a guy kicked off our darts team for refusing to stop touching me?
|
I’ve been playing on a local darts team for about 6 months now. This guy, who might have been in his early 40s, had just joined and at his first practice with us he managed to start two fights and get kicked out of the venue, but he promised that he would behave himself if he was allowed to stay on the team, so he was allowed to come to our next game and I was asked to play with him for our doubles games. Immediately before we started playing he got completely plastered and he would repeatedly press up against me from behind or lean against my shoulder, he did this a couple dozen times in the first game even though I would always move away from him. I talked to the captain and to a couple other teammates and was told that he had done the same thing to some other women on the team. They told me they were going to pay close attention. During the second game I asked him politely to stop touching me, and he listened... for about 5 minutes. Then he started doing it again. I told him more firmly to stop touching me and I thought that maybe he was going to stop, until our third game started. When I went to take my turn and had my back turned to him he decided to blow as hard as he could on the back of my neck. I yelled “what the hell is wrong with you”, called him a fucking idiot and asked how he even functions in society while being that clueless. I told him he shouldn’t even go outside if he can’t keep his hands to himself and learn how to behave. At that point I forfeited the game and refused to play anymore so we had to give that match to the other team, and I told the team captain I wasn’t going to play with him again. The guy ran to the bathroom crying, I was told later that he didn’t seem to get it. The team captains decided to kick him off. I was told that there were some other complaints as well, but I still feel like an asshole, since I forfeited a game because I couldn’t stand the guy I was playing with, made a scene in front of everyone and I was pretty rude to a guy who I was told has some issues. I don’t know, did I overreact to something that was probably just an annoyance?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 13,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
pQdnSNgN3KGV1F0LoDZIWmusLqPVZQPD
|
ajywwe
|
{
"description": "calling the sheriff 2x on the neighbor for leaving their dogs tied up outside in bad weather",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for calling the sheriff 2x on the neighbor for leaving their dogs tied up outside in bad weather
|
AITA for calling the local sheriff (non emergency number and since the county doesn’t have a animal control)on the neighbors for leaving their dogs tied up outside in negative 12°F/-24°F weather?
Dogs were howling and barking and tied up.
I couldn’t take them as I didn’t have a place to keep them and didn’t want a stealing property charge since the neighbor is typically not very friendly.
Important to note that the neighbor is likely working a late shift (it’s 11 pm) but the dogs have been out since 4 pm when I last saw them ie the dogs and the neighbor was home at the time.
This is in the Midwest, USA.
Update at 12am. After a deputy came by and said that he was going to track the owner down at work, someone came to the house and let one dog in but left one outside.
I had to call the sheriff back since the dog is still whining and howling but slower. I feel bad but torn between morals/humanity and what is lawful.
Feel like the asshole, am I?
Written on a mobile.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 6,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
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}
|
RIGHT
|
ixcsAVkcqog31s14bmGY113PXrtBuBf1
|
astgo8
|
{
"description": "yelling at my sister & her boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for yelling at my sister & her boyfriend?
|
So here's a bit of backstory: My sister is \~30 with two kids, who recently moved in with us in October. She brought her boyfriend with her, who the kids never knew until that month. He has repeatedly threatened to hit my niece and nephew with a belt, screaming at them, while my sister lets him, hell she even does the same thing. I despise the fact people hit their kids, especially if you hit them hard enough to fall down and cant get up. My sister yells at the kids for getting mad at her, when SHE does them wrong. Her boyfriend is a druggie, he has repeatedly asked my mom to find pills for him, and even hid marijuana in my dad's dresser before my dad passed in January. C is also an uninvited guest, and always tells my sister he's gonna leave, he /does/ but comes back about 10 minutes later just to get her mad. He is also our only way to get around town, as we are too poor to get a car. Oh, my niece is 11 years old by the way.
​
So today, at about 1:30 PM CST my niece wanted to sell an xbox one S for herself, so she was posting about it. She wanted to sell it for about $100 so she could use it for her grandma and herself to go out and eat and get their nails done. Well, in comes sister's boyfriend, lets call him C. He told us he was going to sell it for his boss for $100, he came back with $50 and kept a good bit of the money to himself. He told her he sold it to a pawn shop, which I don't believe. She was telling him to give her her money, which he already owed her $20, and he threatened to take all the money he gave her. My sister and C came upstairs, fuming, about to hit my niece before I yelled at her to stop.
​
Sister got mad and started yelling at me, which I'm not going to take her shit. Now, I know my niece disrespects everyone, including me, but I believe it's my sister's way of punishing them as my sister did the same to my mother. Me and my brother do not act like that. My mother never laid a hand on us, and I love my mother dearly and would do anything for her. Her boyfriend started yelling at me, telling me not to get up on him, so i got up out of my chair and stood eye to eye with him, he may be taller than me but I'm not scared.
​
I'm sorry if this is jumbled, I'm just angry and trying to get this out. He does not have a place in this house, he has not paid a dime, he is but a stranger to the kids, and to us all.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
G87ePndZ93dSfdvNnEmnAWxd1Ne5ElBX
|
ajaz3n
|
{
"description": "wanting to back out of a roommate situation with my best friend",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to back out of a roommate situation with my best friend?
|
Lease is up in March and I asked my friend who's lease was up at the same time if she wanted to be roomies with me and my fiance.
She was back and forth about it for weeks so I just asked another friend and he is all for it.
Well then she says she wants to room with us. So now we are trying to find a house with enough bathrooms for everyone and it's a nightmare.
She also has some specific needs/demands. Like we only look at houses on her days off (which are weekdays, we all have weekend off except her). She wants access to borrow the master tub and possibly shower of they are fancier than her bathroom. She also wants an in law suit style basement to herself like with a kitchen (all while spending the same amount as if it were just 1 bedroom). And electrics stove?! Ugh she could never cook with those.
She assumed we would pay 50% of the house and then 25% for her and 25% for extra friend. But we would be in one bedroom not 2. So I suggested a 30-30-40 split and it wasn't...well received.
We have 2 cats. Our friends don't have pets and will not be able to get them, but she still wants to dog sit as a side hustle. I do not want my cats (one nervous boi and one who literally has cancer and is a delicate senior) to get freaked out by the dog. I also don't want nervous boi to go nuts and scratch the dogs eye out.
My fiance has less patience with her than I do. She is like my sister so maybe I give in too easily.
He keeps telling me we should politely "vote her off the island". She has high demands and isn't showing a team effort in all this. We also can easily find a cheaper place with just the other roommate.
So would I be the asshole if I tell her that I don't think living together will work out? I know I need to do it soon so she can come up with a game plan.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
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}
|
RIGHT
|
1jYF0WqEZLXapcZpPXQBVIcvGYKIm7YL
|
b8n2lu
|
{
"description": "refusing to pay an artist after she sold some of her displayed work and didn't give us (the gallery) commission",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for refusing to pay an artist after she sold some of her displayed work and didn’t give us (the gallery) commission?
|
So my partner and I ran a gallery until recently. We would typically have one featured artist ever month or two. They would have an opening reception where they could have a chance to talk with people about their art. We had a cut an dried commission policy (70/30). However, one artist decided she was going to tell a bunch of people at the opening that she would sell the pieces directly to them once the show was over, effectively cutting the gallery out, causing us to lose our commission. We called her out on it and she made a big deal about how she was the one that sold the art and it was too bad for us. So we took it out of her portion of some other work of hers that sold. She freaked out and started telling everyone not to work with us and how we stole from her. Are we the assholes here??
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 13,
"EVERYBODY": 6,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
RIGHT
|
vvodFkl1M9zkp0dyOzIcAsAxq8IqA1Ej
|
am8dcb
|
{
"description": "not playing with my friend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not playing with my friend?(Will be deleting 2 weeks after a decision is made)
|
Background info
Mom is the final say I can't say anything to it
The switch and all other consoles are connected to the same tv and the computer is in the same room so we wouldn't be able to call and hear each other properly
My sis is older than me so still can't really do anything
So I go back home from school and I asked my friend to play smash ultimate; they said yes. We play for around 10 minutes and my sister storms in and says it's clamblitz on splatoon 2 and she wants to play on the switch. I say I am playing with my friend but she says she wants to play so I give over the switch and say I have to go to my friend.
This happened many times over the past 2 months and my friend is getting horribly made at me. I say I am playing with her and maybe we can play later and say "I'm sorry" but he just keeps saying "my ass".
He knows it's clamblitz and he knows I am playing with her but he doesn't believe that I am sorry. I try to say no to my sister but she just doesn't care, so it's not like I'm not trying. Also our mom just forces my to play with her even though she knows I'm playing with my friend. I can't play anything else with them because the switch is in use and the other consoles can't be used. My computer is in the same room so we can hear yelling at the game while we are in a call and we can't hear eachother. I can't play with them while she's on the switch.
The worst part is was near their birthday and I feel horrible that I did that to them. They have a good reason to mad but not to not accept my apologies.
So here is my question: Who is the asshole.
Me: for not trying hard enough to play with my friend and failing them near their birthday
My sister: for not letting me play with my friend
My friend: for being so hard on me and for not accepting my apologies even though I have explained to them my reasons
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
Ay9HhSPI00ZxGWaleMCCpB763aYNsznM
|
axzvxi
|
{
"description": "telling a lady to \"F\" off",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for telling a lady to "F" off?
|
Ok, this happened last year and since I'm active on this subreddit lately, I thought I'd run this by you.
On our way to dinner, my wife said she had to drop something off at the mall real quick. I pulled up to the front, let her out. I couldn't wait in the front due to being a traffic hazard and I figured she'd be about 10-15 mins so I went to an open parking space, pulled in and parked. At this point, I guess the parking lot was getting full so lots of cars were driving around looking for spots. I was unaware as I was chilling in the car while it was turned on (so I could listen to music) when a car behind me honked as if they thought I was gonna pull out. I immediately recognized this and turned the car off and waived him by, letting him know I wasn't leaving. Ok so now I'm in the car, in a parking spot, turned off so nobody could know I was someone gonna leave, minding my own business when I hear a verrrry elongated honking. I turn around to see a car with an old lady in it acting really angry. I got out of my car and told her my car isn't even on and she should 'f' off.
AITA for 1) sitting in a parking spot with the car off 2) getting angry at her for being rude with a nonstop honking.
​
I'll admit, I prob shouldn't curse anyone out, I'll take blame for that.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
RIGHT
|
OXOBYb6fIJoPhkghiurhBgsyg2wp2aeC
|
a7u28u
|
{
"description": "contacting a girl I used to pick on, with the intent to make a pass at her",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 20
}
|
WIBTA if i contact a girl i used to pick on, with the intent to make a pass at her?
|
So, in middle school, there was this girl i used to pick on because she was fat. I called her horrible names, stole her things, put a picture of her head on the picture of a pig and put it on her locker, and i gave her a nickname that followed her all around school, and was just awful to her. She always ended up crying and she actually transferred to another school (either because of me or her parents just moved. I heard 2 stories.)
Now look, i KNOW I WAS AN ASSHOLE for that. But i was 12 and my family has a very negative view of overweight people. I feel horrible about it. But what i want judgement on is this.
But, i discovered her on Facebook again and she's actually pretty damn hot now. She dropped all her baby fat and has grown up to be quite doable. The only fat on her now is her breasts (seriously, she's, like, an F cup.)
And, i got to thinking. There's something i want to do. I want to add her as a friend and send her a message to "apologize". I do feel guilty, but i have somewhat of an ulterior motive. I want to apologize and ask her to meet up for coffee with her. While there, i want to make a move on her. I was thinking i apoligize and start complimenting her on how beautiful she's become and maybe make a move on her. Just rub her leg or something.
I haven't talked to her yet, she probably doesn't even remember me.
Would this be scummy of me? Would i be an asshole if i hit up this girl with the intent of trying to seduce her?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 20,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 20
}
|
WRONG
|
nNjiEQm7UROznQ1inkC3j5pcRQP1AK0F
|
as1np6
|
{
"description": "refusing to play a videogame with my nephew",
"pronormative_score": 35,
"contranormative_score": 12
}
|
AITA for refusing to play a videogame with my nephew?
|
Long story short my brother and his 8 year old son are living with us.
When they first moved in my nephew was super excited to play games with me, so he asked me to play rocket league with him. Since I was new to the game and RL was his life......he completely destroyed me which I didn't mind. However, he started really kicking my ass and would say shit like "You know you're garbage at this game, right?" or "omg you know you're just trash noob" IN THE SAME ROOM, RIGHT TO MY FACE. I just put down the controller and stopped playing because I am not going to let an 8 year old trash talk me to my face. He asked me why I stopped playing with him and I told him he hurt my feelings, which made him cry. He ended up apologizing and promising he wouldn't do it, and I told him I appreciate it but I don't want to play that game anymore.
So we tried other co-op games like minecraft or human fall flat and his goal in gaming life happens to become the most annoying little shit on the planet. I tried politely explaining to him why it's not fun when he does certain things, but he doesn't get it and his dad doesn't want to step in. My brother just says shit like "Dude you'll understand when your son is born this is just how they are".
It has come to a point where I'll be playing a game by myself and immediately log off whenever he sees me playing which really hurts his feelings.
I don't think I'm the asshole because he doesn't make gaming fun together. My wife says I am the asshole for not putting up with it since he's just a kid.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 35,
"EVERYBODY": 6,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 35,
"WRONG": 12
}
|
RIGHT
|
zNngN4MX3ANJUOtSRXjejSXgxeL2DHVs
|
ba62ae
|
{
"description": "not giving a customer their money when my store doesn't have that much money",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not giving a customer their money when my store doesn't have that much money
|
My father haves a small hydroponic shop where you could buy all things hydroponic. A lady st her late 50s bought a large scale hydroponic stand that cost 100 bucks.
Another thing to note is I live in a third world country where 100 bucks is a lot of money. I guess to compare with the American economy is around 500 bucks. So shelling out 2 dollar here for food (which is normal for us) is like shelling out 10 bucks for food.
Anywho, since she hasn't told my father where to build it, he hasn't done any of the work but has bought the parts needed to assemble it, weeks came by and there is no update. Even her cell is uncontactable. my father just shrugs it of because he had a similar incident (and to this day the person hasn't pick up the stand).
After about a month the person came back and demanded her money back, my father is confused and just states "I don't have the money, maybe we can just continue the stand and ship it in a week". She doesn't want it, she said something in the lines of suddenly her newlywed son doesn't want it and wanted his money back. My father said "I don't have 100 bucks in my pocket" (remember 500 bucks) . "look, I need the money right now and that is it". I knew my father well that he doesn't want such a big order to waste, I knew he could've just transfer all of the money to her account, but my father still insisted on selling her our stuff, Since she had bought our stuff before this incident.
Of course, she insisted on her demands and are semi screaming. My father fells in and just pays her the money (after going to the atm) . That day, I learnt that a business has monetary risk and that is one of them. Thoughts?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
j796kenjaQFIhsoCRLEPsG91M3HwU5qG
|
as1p66
|
{
"description": "feeling distanced from my girlfriend because she's moving away",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For feeling distanced from my girlfriend because she's moving away.
|
My girlfriend of almost 3 years is moving across the country where she's originally from. We have lived together about 2 years and have had a pretty decent relationship. We were talking about saving up for a house and having kids (she starting that conversation).
She says she wants to be closer to her family as she had just got back from a week long trip there. A few days after she got back she dropped a bomb on me one night that she is probably moving back. This was a few days ago. Well she's leaving tomorrow and is upset with me because I've been "distancing" myself from her emotionally and physically. I can't deny that I haven't been unintentionally doing that but who can blame me?
She wants me to go with her but I don't want to leave my family behind. And we both agreed that we will never do long distance. So as of tomorrow we are officially broken up and I will never see her again.
Am I the Asshole for distancing myself from her after she dropped this bomb and is essentially leaving me with all of her pets and furniture as she's taking the bare minimum?
Idk if she just like fell in love with someone while she was over there or what but it's so crazy...
TL;DR My girlfriend of almost 3 years is moving across the country tomorrow. With barely any notice to me she's leaving all her stuff and is mad at me because I haven't been showing her "affection" since she told me (2 days ago).
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
POumERNfUiL814LOMFgT9Lw8Z3QIVPk4
|
aebzov
| null |
AITA My 'parents' (mom and stepdad) separated after 40+ years of marriage, now my sisters won't talk to me and I'd like nothing to do with my mom.
|
My parents got divorced when I was young and before my mom remarried she was abusive; verbally and physically.
When I was around ten, my mom got re-married my stepdad. Great guy— super guy; taught me everything I wanted to know about everything. He was nice, kind, patient, understanding and knew a lot about everything… No complaints.
12 years ago, my stepdad got hurt at work and became 100% disabled. The relationship between my mom (69y) and he (70y) soured; they had lots of fights. Mainly, over money. My mom was spending more money than he was getting from medical and benefits. Over the last 5 years, she threatened to divorce him many many times.
10 months ago, she did it.
He was out in the yard. When he came back in, she was gone; no note, no nothing, just gone. That afternoon, he called me wondering if she was with me or if I've heard from her.
The next day, she went to the bank and took out $40k and then vanished for a week. Completely off the wall…
3wks after, my wife and son were visiting my stepdad to take him his meds, and my mom showed up. She was irate. Screaming, yelling, throwing stuff, getting in my wife's face, calling her names; all while my 12yr son watched in shock. It came to a boil when my mom seemingly charged to my wife (as to attack) and my son jumped in front of them and told my mom (his grandmother), "that's enough of that." — he's a black belt in TaeKwonDo.
Having that happen, it was a breaking point for me. I knew she could be mean and abusive and I NEVER wanted my son to see anything like that. But him to see that and have to step up like that, it cut me pretty bad. After that day, I didn't want to speak to my mom… Still very upset with her.
2 wks later, she filed a restraining order on my stepdad and had him kicked out of their house (paid for). He had done nothing wrong. I had to get off work at a moments notice and go to the house, meet the police, and then help him pack all the stuff he could in 15 minutes and get out. He was essentially homeless. He was a mental wreck.
After 40+ years of being their stepdad and thousands of dollars of help on various life issues, my sisters would not help him at all. Of course, I let him stay with me for 2+ weeks and helped him find an apartment.
Over the next, few months I helped my stepdad with everything I could, but my sisters never offered anything. They wouldn't even call him. And during the whole separation early on, they agreed my mom was being unreasonable.
They are now divorced.
I don't speak to my mom and my sisters won't speak to me. I'm not mad at my sisters, they had to pick a side (I guess), but why would I be the bad guy?
AITA for standing by the man who taught me everything about being a nice person, and not speaking to my mom because of her abhorrent behavior in front of my son?
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
tfYCOPrYfc7DwQafiC6kdze5ycKWAsuB
|
a64b13
|
{
"description": "saying to my friend that she can't accept compliments",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for saying to my friend that she can’t accept compliments?
|
I know this girl for a few years and while we are relatively good friends there’s something that bother me a little, every time I make her a compliment for her personality, clothes, jokes, she always answers with something like: Yeah I know, To which I replied that saying that makes her looks a bit like self entitled and a unable to accept compliments, she then replied: I am pretty confident myself. I don’t need compliments from other people
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
hywEuKpSJeBd2tv7rXZfwAhAO6l01Eb9
|
a5hkje
|
{
"description": "yelling at my best friend for being in a bad relationship",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for yelling at my best friend for being in a bad relationship?
|
BACKGROUND: I(14M) am best friends with Who I will call “H”(14M). H has been my best friend for 3-3 1/2 years. We live about two hours away and are freshmen in different high schools. We still talk to each other and play games very commonly.
THE STORY: H is in a relationship with person “b.” Person B is currently female, believes they are transgender and wishes to become male. Person b also still likes males and is a relationship with H. Through various text conversations it has been revealed that B apparently has been in a toxic relationship previously, B’s partner only being in the previous relationship because “it would be cool.”
Apparently b has not fully recovered from any alleged trauma they received during this relationship.
I was fine with h being. In a relationship with b, in fact I was happy my best friend could be in a relationship with someone he likes. But recently b’s “depressive episodes” have increased drastically. This is taking more and more time away from h’s social life just to talk to b and comfort them. So in my mind H has become more and more of a therapeutic tool for b to stave away their trauma and “depression.”
It has also been revealed that b has not tried to receive help from parents, guidance, or therapists and is relying solely on h to stave away their depression.
THE ACTION IN QUESTION: This made me more and more angry, I tried to recognize that b may actually be depressed or something akin to it but I don’t think so. So I sent an *EXTREMELY* long text block to h detailing how I felt that b isn’t actually transgender and is just doing it to mess with h because it is funny, and you that h is being used for b’s enjoyment . I also addressed how they actually needed to get help from a therapist, not another 14 year old if they even were depressed. So I have no respect for b and believing they are just manipulating my best friend for their own pleasure, and have said so to my best friend.
With that being said, Reddit, Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
ZJDv2J6xcaD6nwvkxQNgvvtpVKjCQ3e9
|
acyr8h
|
{
"description": "not wanting to lend my mom $100-$200 at least once every week",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to lend my mom $100-$200 at least once every week?
|
I’m 16M and working a decent-paying retail job, and ever since the holiday season my checking account has always been a comfortable mid- to upper-three digits.
An unforeseen side-effect of this has been my mom calling me up at least once a week asking me to send her X amount of money, promising she’ll pay me back the next business day. It’s always some kind of leisure activity that she needs the money for, usually out with her friends or something like that. She’s always come through paying me back, but she has other friends she can ask for money and it’s always uncomfortable letting people borrow money.
AITA? I feel like I’m being taken advantage of and I always let her know that I’m not a huge fan of her asking me for the money.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
H1HypSbj8UAKHzQoEOUXjP0E5CcgN2Ze
|
a4810j
|
{
"description": "creating a shirt on depression",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for creating a shirt on depression?
|
I created a shirt for my brand new company I just launched, and one of the shirts I designed is a picture of a broken heart with "Depression Gang" on the front. I've been through a lot in my life and it was something I related to and I figured other people could too. People stated that I shouldnt profit off of a mental disorder, so I updated the policy on those specific shirts to where I donate a portion of the proceeds to the American Suicide Foundation. I'm still getting negative responses so I'm starting to think ITA. So based off the responses I get here I may pull the shirt all together even though now some proceeds go towards the Suicide Foundation
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
7JwLUfeZGb7ivB55BC2qGIY1uDtMKqOc
|
aj138i
|
{
"description": "being upset with my boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being upset with my boyfriend?
|
I (f23) have been with my boyfriend (m24) for around 2.5 years. Over this course of time he hasn't ever straightforwardly acknowledged me as his girlfriend to his family and some of his friends, meaning he doesn't refer to my as his girlfriend or significant other. If anyone asks he'll deflect or call me a 'good friend'.
I have, however, met his family multiple times, spent holidays with them, etc. So its not like I'm being hidden, he just won't ever call me his girlfriend in plain English. His defense is that "everybody knows so why bother."
I would probably be okay with this to be perfectly honest, except he became very upset with me when he learned that I hadn't told anyone we were dating early on in our relationship. I've brought this up with him multiple times but it doesn't seem to register with him that he's being a hypocrite.
He's also asked me to marry him multiple times, which I eventually agreed to but he hasn't bought a ring, even though he said he was going to get one around Christmas. I suspect its because he doesn't want people knowing but his excuse is he wouldn't know what to get me even though I sent him multiple rings that I liked on Etsy all less than $300. He makes good money and I've even offered to go half on something so its not a money issue either.
So, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
DWWvl8bMv9gSYuU9IVCnT5sVWxQXxktj
|
aygg86
|
{
"description": "not wanting to teach my gf to play videogames",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA For not wanting to teach my gf to play videogames ?
|
I've always been a dedicated gamer and i used to put alot of time into it.
Seeing this my gf said I should teach her how you play so we could spent that time together. I thought is was super sweet of her, but told her I wouldn't because of two reasons
First she gets extremely competitive which in it self is amazing thé downside howerever is she takes losses super bad.
Secondly because I was already short on time due to being in my last year of studying and on top of that working in thé weekends
I Know it was kind gesture of her and instead of me teaching her how to play video games she thought me how to go Sail and we now go Sailing of and on.
However I still kind of fekt bad when i told her no.
AITA ?
PS sorry die bad English and formatting (not my first language and i'm on a mobile)
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 3
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 8
}
|
WRONG
|
Xs5pJVC2p33VFZuAA2MwQh9QSweJTHqW
|
ah5hn4
|
{
"description": "being upset about my name & rank being wrong in the newspaper",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for being upset about my name & rank being wrong in the newspaper?
|
So I'm a 14-year-old kid. Nothing really special. I take part in this program called the Air Cadets where we learn stuff and sometimes go out and do community service.
A little while before Christmas, I had taken part in a Christmas tree sale because, ya know, I wanna rank up. I was a flight corporal, and still am since that's relevant. Near the end, I stood next to the commanding officer (who we'll refer to as Captain Yastrzhembsky) and some other guy (Who I'll call CV Liubimova), and we got a picture taken.
A few days later, it was brought to my attention that I was mentioned in a newspaper. Awesome, right? That's what I thought. I took a closer look at the caption. It said the following.
"From left to right are Captain Akelah Yastrzhembsky, CV Boris Liubimova and Corporal \[My misspelled first & last name\] getting ready to bail a tree."
I was a little furious at this, not gonna lie. I don't like having either my name or my rank wrong, let alone both. The other names were properly spelled, but not mine. I ended up telling my other cadet friend, who seemed annoyed by my complaining. Am I really in the wrong for not wanting to be referred to by the wrong rank and name?
\*Keep in mind all names here were made up. And no, u/OrionIdalia isn't my name, either.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
YnpQsylFiS9BPKfwzJ5XXld79EhmMCnh
|
ayrg5e
|
{
"description": "purposely letting the toilet paper run out",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for purposely letting the toilet paper run out?
|
I live with a roommate. He almost never pitches in for shared supplies like toilet paper. It’s always ‘I get you later’ and later never comes.
I saw we have about a quarter of a roll left. I’m going out of town. I didn’t remind him. I kinda want him to run out and deal with it.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
Vb8D1i4gAI7R50TBihijQGAd0Qv5xUZX
|
b241bn
|
{
"description": "calling cops on a busker",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 18
}
|
WIBTA if i call cops on a busker?
|
Im working weekends on an town square. Every weekend theres is this busker who plays an trumpet on the street corner. Im not sure if he has a licence to do that, so i was thinking about calling cops so they could come and remove him, if hes here illegaly. So, will i be the asshole?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 18,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 18
}
|
WRONG
|
JDbTq68JHiTFKysBTw3mSl2ouJl8cCb7
|
apaps8
|
{
"description": "wanting to break up with my boyfriend in the wake of his grandfather dying",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to break up with my boyfriend in the wake of his grandfather dying?
|
For some background, we're both in our late 20's and we've been dating for about 8 months now. Things were going fine, but trouble started in the weeks leading up to Thanksgiving when he started flaking out on me with disturbing frequency, and when the week of Thanksgiving came around he flaked out last minute on meeting my parents for the first time. We rescheduled for a couple days later, and while he did make it that time, he was 25 minutes late and showed up with 3 days worth of stubble and grungy clothes. I tried to sit him down for a serious talk about what was going on, but he practically ran out of my house and subsequently stone walled me for the rest of the week, refusing to answer texts or calls. All my friends were telling to just break up with him, that this behavior was unacceptable, but I had a suspicion that he was depressed so I held off until we could talk about it. After Thanksgiving he finally resurfaced and was answering texts again. We arranged a meeting, talked things over, and it became clear that yes, he was depressed, and he had been in a depressive episode brought on by difficulties at work. I agreed to give the relationship a 2nd chance, but I told him he couldn't go dark on me without warning again and he had to start seeing a therapist to deal with the depression. He had a pretty rough childhood, and I think there's a lot of crap he hasn't dealt with either. We agreed that I would ask around for counselor recommendations, and he would go.
That was in November. Things were better for a couple weeks after that incident, but then we both went out of town for Christmas. During that time he was difficult to get a hold of and hard to draw into conversation, but his grandfather wasn't doing well I thought maybe he was just busy with his family. I assumed things would get better once we both returned from our trips. After we both got back, he was still difficult to draw into conversation, and he didn't seem to feel any urgency with regards to seeing me. I managed to set up one date in January, but that was the only time we've seen each other since early December. Last weekend he canceled a date to pick up an extra shift at work, and most of my texts have been going unanswered for a few weeks now. At this point I started thinking that what we're doing right now hardly qualifies as a relationship and strongly thinking about just ending it. But I wanted to talk about it in person. On Tuesday he again, without warning, became completely unreachable. On Friday I got aggressive with my demands to know what was going on, completely at my whit's end that he was doing this to me again, and he finally responded that his grandfather had died and he was about to fly out for the funeral. He hasn't responded to me since.
Right now I'm frustrated and I don't think I can do this anymore. But I don't want to be the person who breaks up with someone who just suffered a death in the family. I feel terrible for him that his grandfather died, but this is the 2nd time he's responded to a difficult personal situation by completely cutting me off. To make matters worse, today is my birthday and I still haven't heard a word from him despite reaching out myself to ask how things are going. We had plans this weekend, and if I hadn't demanded to know what was going on, I don't think he would have told me he wasn't even going to be in the state.
I know there are issues with depression underpinning these problems, but I found out he never called the therapist I found for him. I feel bad that there are difficult things going on in his life right now, and I know what a struggle mental health problems can be, but I'm seriously considering breaking up with him over text since I can't get him to talk to me. Does that make me the asshole?
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HISTORICAL
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b3l8r1
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{
"description": "accusing my fwb for sending me fake dick pics",
"pronormative_score": 8,
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|
AITA for accusing my FWB for sending me fake dick pics?
|
Sorry if this ends up being long and I'm on mobile so apologize for formatting.
I met Adrian through a mutual friend who he bugged to get her to introduce us after being tagged in a few pics of us on vacation on her FB page. He messaged me on messenger (after i agreed) and we hit it off then things got heated pretty quickly between us. We were sexting after 2 weeks then by week 3 we were sending each other nudes.
Fast foward to last week (a month later) we finally met up and spent the night together. It was amazing.
Now to the problem: when I went down on him I immediately noticed his dick looked really different to the multiple dick pics I had been receiving (color, girth and length) but continued and had a wonderful night.
While cuddling I jokingly asked if he dickfished me because his dick looked nothing like the pics he was sending me weeks prior.
P.s I'm in no way a girl who is obsessed by the look of a penis. As long as it works and the owner knows how to use it, that's good enough for me. There's nothing wrong with his dick at all I was just caught off guard because it was so different from the multiple pics he sent me.
Anyways, he was pissed off at my joke and ended up leaving after a discussion/argument saying things like "I'm sorry I don't have a PORNSTAR cock" (I mentioned the dick in the pics was pornstar-esq not that it mattered.)
Now I'm stumped wondering if I should have just shut my mouth and said nothing because I really didn't have a problem with his (real) dick but I kinda want to know why he would send fake dick pics in the first place
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HISTORICAL
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aft3z6
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{
"description": "wanting to end a toxic friendship",
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AITA for wanting to end a toxic friendship?
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Hello! I made an account for this, and it’s been eating me alive for months.
I (used) to have a friend, who I trusted more than anyone or anything in the world. He was really important to me. I’m pansexual, and the first person I came out to was him. Recently, he’s been a total asshole.
He’s the leader of the GSA in my school, and he decided to have the GSA in a room with people I barley knew, and detention, for our coming out discussion. This was supposed to be incredibly confined and confidential, and he should’ve tried harder to make everyone feel safe in my opinion.
I’m a girl, and have pretty long hair. He decided to crotchet my hair on the bus, (don’t ask me why I thought that was a good idea) and when it got knotted, he got scissors and cut off a chunk of my hair without my knowledge. Keep in mind it’s not noticeable, but it’s still a really big deal to me. I gave him shit a lot, as a joke, but when he got pissed at me for it, I became serious about it.
He’s also just a total dick. I have high functioning autism, and he decides to excuse me from any work because of it. I had a group project with my other friend, and him. My other friend and I didn’t do much because she was pissed at him, and he complained to me about how she didn’t do work, and when I mentioned I didn’t either, he said he’d never make me do work or anything because I’m autistic. This may be a good thing in theory, I find it unfair I won’t be held to the same level as everyone else because of something I can’t control.
He keeps trying to be friends with me, and act as if everything’s perfectly fine, when it’s clearly not. I tried to talk to him about it, but I never got a chance to. He does know that I fucking despise him though.
I believe he’s extremely toxic to me and all my friends, but he won’t leave me the hell alone.
TL;DR My friends a dick and won’t accept the termination of my friendship.
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HISTORICAL
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"description": "snapping on my friend",
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|
AITA for snapping on my friend?
|
So some background:
I have a rare immune disorder. I've had it since I was very small, and it was a terrible time trying to get it diagnosed. It's no fun being the zebra in the sea of horses.
Anyways, it's not at a point where it's currently life threatening, but I get significantly sick often. (Bad colds, flu, etc) Almost all of my friends and family know about it because it significantly impacts my life.
I've been running a fairly high fever lately, so they sent me for some blood tests. I was venting about how much I hate needles in my groupchat when one of my friends brought up how she gets bloodwork several times a year and how would I know anything about needles.
​
I went on a rant. This friend is notorious for making up illnesses to win the sympathy olympics. She's claimed to be allergic to everything under the sun, have various "diagnosed" phobias, arthritis, schizophrenia,celiac, and even an immune disorder of her own. I told her that she should stop making up illnesses because no one will believe her when she's actually sick, and it makes those of us with real illnesses look bad. She cried and said that I have no idea what's she's been through dealing with all her sicknesses and that I don't need to be a b\*\*\*h. Am I the asshole? I feel bad, but I was so fed up.
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HISTORICAL
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awayid
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{
"description": "wanting to report someone parking illegally/without paying",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA For wanting to report someone parking illegally/without paying?
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Fairly straightforward situation but I've been torn about it for a bit:
​
There is a someone who is parking right next to me in the paid parking for our building. I pay $50 a month for my spot. This person has been parking there for 1 month+ (not sure exactly how long) and has never paid for the parking.
​
I believe the management hasn't done anything about it because it's kind of in an out of the way area that nobody sees that often (they're also somewhat lazy and don't check things like this nearly as much as they should). However, for all I know, they know this person and "allow" them to park for free. They don't own the parking though, and there's so way they're authorized to do this.
​
AITA for wanting to report this? Technically it has not caused me any trouble at all. The person never takes my spot or anything like that. I've held off because it feels like bad karma to report someone who's doing no harm to me personally.
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HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
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psi9gOEvSy0gvTJ8dzTF2Cw8GYLrGTBU
|
9vputc
|
{
"description": "wanting space from mentally ill MIL",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting space from mentally ill MIL?
|
My MIL is a bipolar, schizophrenic, depressed, alcoholic. Recently her and her husband separated because of these and other issues and she has gone completely off the rails. Husband and I bought tickets to visit them during thanksgiving months ago and planned on staying a week. Since the split, she has used us as crutch even though we live 1000 miles away. We talk her through her episodes everyday and have been in touch with her doctors. She was really looking forward to us visiting for the holiday. We though that in order to establish healthy boundaries it would be best to get a hotel room for the stay instead of staying with her and we wanted some space from her. We also have plans to visit my family and friends in the area. We told her about this today and she freaked out and is saying we are abandoning her and don’t love her. Now I’m really questioning whether we were inconsiderate in doing this. We still plan to spend a majority of the time with her but didn’t want her to lean to much on us and then be devastated when we leave. She has other family in the area and she has chosen for several reasons not to be in touch with them.
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HISTORICAL
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|
ahwy98
|
{
"description": "trying to convince a girl I would be a better fit for her than her current boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 57
}
|
AITA for trying to convince a girl I would be a better fit for her than her current boyfriend?
|
Throwaway because her boyfriend knows my main account.
I'm a medical student and last year got grouped with this amazing girl. Being in a group with her, we spend most of every day together (same lectures, same classes, same lab times at.). She is amazing and we get along really well, we also study together, hang out from time to time and go out for parties from time to time. I can picture the two of us really well together, both medical students, same interests, we can support each other etc. She also told me a few times she thinks I'm really funny, so she definetly does like me too.
The only problem is her boyfriend: I have met him, he is an engineering student, and while he was really nice to me and we chatted for quite a bit, it became clear that he is no intellectual fit for her. Don't get me wrong, Engineering is great and everything, but compared to medicine, I really can't see a relationship working between the two of them. She does not think the same though, constantly talking about how much she loves him, they even moved in together and plan a future together. As stupid as it might sound, but I think I know better than her and know that she would be happier with me in the end, both of us working in the same field, on a similar intellectual level.
I have really tried to casually slip it in the conversation, making suggestions, etc. Her boyfriend is currently studying abroad, so I really see my window now.
Yesterday though, I told a friend of mine about this, and he was shocked, telling me I'm trying to ruin their perfect relationship and no good will come from this, telling me I'm a huge awhile for trying this, but I know it's the best for both of us.
So, what do you think?
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HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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m3CwLfBiSnfpG2UWfEen9hMMKF0MHqVq
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aucrzd
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{
"description": "asking my apartment neighbor to take down their wind chimes",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA for asking my apartment neighbor to take down their wind chimes?
|
I have just moved into an apartment and my neighbors directly below me have aluminum/metal wind chimes hung from their balcony. My bedroom window is right above their balcony, maybe 6-8 feet away. It has been especially windy recently and I have to hear those wind chimes 24/7 and cannot sleep without earplugs.
My building is a year old and I’m the first renter in my unit, so my neighbor really hasn’t had anyone above/near them since they moved in. Would I be the asshole for asking management to have them talk to my neighbor and remove the wind chimes?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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au75du
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{
"description": "going to a different tattoo artist at the same shop as my previous artist",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I went to a different tattoo artist at the same shop as my previous artist?
|
For reference, I only have two tattoos. The first one was simple, took an hour. The second one... I'm still pissed about the second one, and I'm a fucking idiot who didn't say anything before I let him tattoo me.
It was a memorial tattoo. I sent him a couple pictures that I told him I wanted to incorporate together. I thought he'd draw me something. Nope. He literally traced one picture onto the other, and I okayed it. Yep, fucking idiot. But then he fucked up the coloring anyway, so that was HIS fault.
The problem now is that I want my third tattoo, but I don't want to pay hundreds of dollars for him to tattoo me and it's as bad as the previous one.
There's a guy at his shop who looks like he can do my tattoo based on other jobs he's done. I just don't know the etiquette of visiting a different artist at the same parlor?
If I would be the asshole, I'd like to know BEFORE I go, and just keep shopping around for a different guy.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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ax4tj8
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{
"description": "asking my good friend and roommate to take their dogs somewhere else",
"pronormative_score": 2,
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}
|
AITA for asking my good friend and roommate to take their dogs somewhere else?
|
My good friend (K) and my roommate (D) had made plans to take their dogs to a dog park for a playdate. Cool, what fun! I love both of these people AND both of their dogs. My dog and D's dog are best friends but my dog and K's dog are mortal enemies.
So it was very cold and snowy and they decided not to go to the park but to have their playdate in our yard instead. D closes my dog away in my room so no dog fights happen. This has occurred many times before (locking my dog away so the other dogs could play together) but this is the first time that I was also home to witness. My girl was reduced to a shaking, crying mess even though I was in the room with her, because she could hear the dogs playing and my friends laughing without her.
I texted them from my room saying that if they were just going to play in a yard and not go to the park, why couldn't it be K's yard? It was really hard for me to see my dog so upset and K only lives two blocks away. I thought that was a reasonable request since my dog shouldn't have to be hurting in her own home. They both love my dog too so they shouldn't want her to be sad either.
K ended up just leaving right away and D has been huffy all day. How do I ask them not to do this anymore in the future when I'm not home? K said the dogs don't play in her yard because D's dog is too distracted knowing there are cats in the house but that seems like an excuse.
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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ajxrku
|
{
"description": "not donating to a funeral Go-Fund-me",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not donating to a funeral Go-Fund-Me?
|
A really close friend of mine had a friend pass away recently and he took to every social media with the go fund me link to raise money for the persons funeral.
The departed person was an avid recreational drug user, as is my close friend. He admitted to me that the person died of an overdose and my friend asked me to donate.
I do not use drugs, but I advocate for cannabis whenever I can because I believe in its medicinal properties. But they do hard drugs on a regular basis. I told him I wouldn't donate because when a person uses drugs they know the risks associated with them. I also am not sure if the money would go to the deceased's family like it was intended. He has blocked me out of his life since we spoke. So am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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KwbAqhF3yDnbJ3Ei0Ls6IwVkAAoIrI1B
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9tq947
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{
"description": "not joining a new band my band director is creating, which would mean said band wouldn't happen",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I don’t join a new band my band director is creating, which would mean said band wouldn’t happen?
|
I’m a high school senior who’s been involved in band for all four years of high school. I’ve been in numerous honor bands and am lead trombone of our jazz band.
My band director is putting together a new ensemble for the more musically talented students. This ensemble would be playing very challenging music, with most practicing being independent.
I am currently also involved in jazz band, pep band (playing at our school basketball games), drama, bowling, and preparing for college (applying for scholarships). I am also practicing for an audition for a music scholarship and working a part-time job.
As such, I already have a lot on my plate. I also suffer from anxiety, so too much stress will have some negative results, so I told my director I didn’t have time to practice a whole new set of music, and that I couldn’t participate.
She said that if even one person did not want to participate, then the ensemble would not happen and no one could participate.
I plan on still saying no on Monday morning, as I will not have time to add another commitment into my schedule. Another one of my friends is also saying no, so I won’t be alone in my decision, but I still feel slightly bad for costing others this opportunity.
So would I be the asshole?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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9ubc91
| null |
AITA For not talk to every customer?
|
Long time lurker first time poster
I work at a gift shop at a popular museum in a big city. Today we had a large group of 800 people come into the museum and get a certain type of wristband that gets then 10% off their entire purchase. Approximately 400 or 500 of these guest came into the shop where I am ringing on register. The bands on their arms are very distinct so when I see them I just automatically add the discount.
As the store gets super busy I try to get people rung up as fast as possible which means I didn't always acknowledge that I added their discount. The result was I had people sticking their wrists in my face and many overtired moms demanding that I add on their discount even after I told them that I had already rung up their discount.
After several hours of this I am pretty tired and I notice guest are giving me looks when they ask me about the discount and I just nod and get them out the door. Was I being an asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
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a8qu49
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{
"description": "leaving the room that I'm having my lunch break in, when my coworker comes into work early",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
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|
AITA for leaving the room that I’m having my lunch break in, when my coworker comes into work early?
|
(Warning this is a SMALL. judgement. Not an interesting story. I’m not necessarily overthinking it but I just wanna know lol.) I work at a brewpub from 10am -5ish. Then I work at my small little rerun theater from 6-10pm
I get there at 5:10~ because I have access through the bar that we’re connected to. I’m the “boss” there aside from the owner. so I’m the one that walks through the bar, gets into the theater, and unlocks the doors for the other workers. I don’t clock in during these 45min because I consider it my lunch break since I don’t have one at either jobs.
I’m 20 years old. We have a lot of snackbar workers that are in high school 14-15 and I’m really nice to them and I usually let them mess around as long as we’re being efficient, and have a good time.
Anyway. This one girl specifically, call her X. Found out I come in at 5 because I was just talking about my schedule one day. She really likes me. Lately. Everytime she works she comes in at 5 through the bar (which is weird as it is and makes the bartenders really uncomfortable). She’ll come find me and start screaming my ear off about shit that happened to her at school. Blaring music or trying to show me videos. All around making me silently rage inside because this is usually when I have my break.
I don’t have a car and my commute to home is really far so I don’t go there on the in between.
Now whenever she comes in I go and sit in a different room and pretend them I’m assuming she just came in early. Today she went and sought me out and saw I was sitting in the theater eating.
She seemed really upset and asked why I “switched” where I was having my “break” and I just said I needed to be by myself before I start working cause I haven’t had a break all day. She said “well you’re not working yet” and I had to awkwardly clarify that I meant I needed to be away from any people for it to be considered a break in my head. I’m tired. I think I was short. This is so stupid haha.
She is 14 and took this the wrong way. I am not going to waste my lunch hour by continuing to be around her, or anything but should I have just found another solution like going inside of a cafe or at my other work till she took the hint? She’s 14 so of course she’s a dramatic teen who probably just over analyzed this but it made me feel bad to make her feel bad!
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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b86mhc
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{
"description": "not sharing all my kitchen appliances",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA for not sharing all my kitchen appliances?
|
Roommate and I have lived together for 8 years or so, the last 2 he's become more financially independent. He used to rely on me for a lot of things, as I helped him escape a bad situation. He's since paid back rent and such. When I first bought my house 6 years ago, I furnished it entirely myself. He has since bought 3 things of his own (coffee table, tread mill, and dresser in his room) otherwise it was all furnished by me, and he didn't pay half of it. I'm okay with this, given the situation he escaped. Other things, like a fence and shed in the backyard, he agreed to pay half - shed because he didn't feel like he had anything with the house, and fence because he wanted a place for his 2 dogs to run around. I built most of the shed, all of the fence, without his help.
​
I bought a Kitchenaid mixer last fall, admittedly on a whim, and he immediately said he wasn't paying half of it as he'd "never get use out of it". Last night he said he wanted to get an attachment for it for making zucchini noodles, and I said that's fine - as long as he pays half. He got upset, insisted (while at the store at 10 pm) I tell him if I expected him to pay half of all other things he hasn't paid half on, like the washer/dryer I bought 6 years ago. I said no, just this, because it's not a household item and he insisted he would never use it.
​
History, we typically pay half for things we'll both use. I asked him about his moving out plans 6 months ago, and he said he doesn't foresee being able to move out for 2+ years as he finishes school, plus he can't afford to move out alone, doesn't want to/can't because of medical issues, doesn't trust moving in with a friend, and has 2 dogs + 1 cat and rentals don't like that many animals, especially apartments. He complained at the time that his rent was too high, so we agreed on a plan to lower it a little more to help him save to move out, but he's largely not done that, either. So he's not going anywhere, for a while, unless I formally evict him.
​
However, I have also bought things that he's later used that he didn't pay half for. My TV and Xbox in the living room, he didn't pay anything towards and I don't expect him to. He's got his own stuff as well, but likes using mine as he doesn't necessarily like being in his room alone.
​
AITA for not letting him use non-necessary kitchen appliances without paying a share of it?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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AUTHOR
|
{
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|
WRONG
|
qCDpQWF5wr3mGKRPeicKEq9xwuRheXzc
|
9z2lvc
|
{
"description": "calling my friend Ugly",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for Calling My Friend Ugly?
|
So a bunch of college buddies of mine have a thread where we talk constantly. We’re much older no, but back in the day we all used to be varsity athletes. Obviously we are no longer in that sort of shape but we still talk about girls and things the same way.
While most of the guys in the thread have kinda got on with their lives, there’s one buddy who’s always trying to attack me and a few other “group outsiders” with snarky put downs. He also always talks about girls in a really rough way. Like anytime someone brings up a girl they’re seeing or a social media girl/tinder girl he jumps in there asking for pics, nudes, w/e and then judges the shit out of her making crappy comments.
Soooo a few weeks ago we were all talking and one friend brought up he was thinking about seeing this one tinder girl. Everyone asked for pics. Friend was unsure whether to go on the date cause of the timing and cause he can’t really tell if she’s attractive or not from her pics. I said he had nothing to loose by doing it. Then our more obnoxious friend hops in and asks me if I have eyes cause clearly this girl’s a horse. I respond by asking him if he’s looked in the mirror recently. That devolved into a huge debate where I was called an asshole by the whole friend group for defending a stranger over my buddy. Idk I feel like he needed a wake up slap to let him know he was being a dick but maybe calling him out like that was uncalled for. It was a friendly conversation until I went there. I just don’t like this stuff. Getting made fun of all the time is annoying and we should be at a point in our lives where we’re not just thinking about the physical. I think he needs to grow up. Am I wrong?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 9,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
Rx8xJ8dTmXMQeqDIhAShwHMD6MfvFJQr
|
a9xxlu
|
{
"description": "wanting to roleplay my downtime in Dungeons and Dragons, but the DM wants me to roleplay downtime outside of the game",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting to roleplay my downtime in Dungeons and Dragons, but the DM wants me to roleplay downtime outside of the game?
|
Close friend and I are playing our first homebrew game with a bunch of mates. I've been pretty argumentative with the DM recently about the all sorts of things, generally resulting in a 'tough shit' from the DM. I respect that he has ideas he's keen on trying, but IMO players should have a say in what's going on.
Anyways, figuring this is our first homebrew where we're focusing on role-playing I decided to make a backstory. Nothing fancy, just a family to go back to. I asked the DM if it was possible to get some time in game to role-play that during downtime, but again given a 'tough shit' and told to role-play by yourself outside of the game. I said maybe just every now and then to continue that a story arc with my family. Still a no.
I don't know, I'm two ways about it. I get that he doesn't want to spit the focus of the game. But I feel like that goes against everything I know about DnD.
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
NOBODY
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
dzJ6FigN40bzNG6xoFzwJr2vOcuqVZIR
|
av745u
|
{
"description": "wanting a clean apartment",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting a clean apartment?
|
My roommates always leave a mess in the living room that's so bad that we can't even use our couch unless we spend a few minutes moving things aside. The bathrooms are alright, but they always leave their long hair in the shower in clumps (why??). But the worst is the kitchen. There's never any room to do my own dishes because they fill the sink with dishes that they're 'getting to, eventually'. The counters are sticky and covered with all sorts of ramen dust and a similar story goes with the oven range and microwave but with more splatters.
AITA for trying to tell them that they should clean up a little and that it's easier to stay clean and clean a little bit each day than to do one big cleaning day each month?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
y6idgJ8JI2wUfpx8uoH3C2O39WHlZKRM
|
arujam
| null |
AITA for this car accident?
|
There was this truck which tried to attempt a u-turn in which it could barely fit on the roads with only one lane on wach side. It got stuck in both in my and the opposing road.
The driver started to reverse while im behind the truck. I’m 100% sure i wasnt in any blind spot because i could see the driver’s face from the truck’s side mirror. He rammed into my car, i honk, and he still reverses. The spot at which my car is damaged is the driver side door, under the side mirror.
We both got out after people told the driver what was happening. First he was all angry which i dont understand. I told him that there’s no reason to be upset and we should keep it civil. (Drivers in my country will do anything to not be blamed).
Am i the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 1,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
0DRirK64keCHTo2FGCG2uWxjLIYI8ZbO
|
9x0szw
|
{
"description": "breaking up with my girlfriend over \"consent required\"",
"pronormative_score": 676,
"contranormative_score": 121
}
|
AITA for breaking up with my girlfriend over "consent required"?
|
Before any of you start freaking out at me, I want to say that I fully support both women and men asking for consent before getting touchy or sexual with another person, and I would never in my life think about treating another person that way. Now that thats out of the way, the AITA moment.
I've been with my girlfriend for the last 8\~ months. In this time, we've slept together, been sexual together, and all that jazz. We've hit a comfortable routine where on friday nights one of us would go to the others place and spend the weekend there. Our usual routine on the first night is watching some shitty movie or tv show until we realize we don't actually care what we're watching and would much rather make out. This goes on until one of us decides to start pawing at each others genitals like a cat pawing the bottom of the door while you're trying to use the bathroom. Things lead into foreplay followed by the usual sex times. This has been our almost weekly routine for a good 3 months now. We've been comfortable with each other and very open about our sexual desires and what not.
Now, on this last friday, I went over to her apartment. We put on some stupid netflix documentary that I can't remember the name of, and about half way through we started tongue boxing. I got into it, and decided to start touching her, resulting in me getting under her pants. I do the business and make her feel good. After this, we just sit there for a minute in the after glow, before she pulls away from me and goes kind of silent. I try to talk to her because I can tell somethings suddenly upset her but have no idea what, she tries to tell me that nothings wrong. I tell her that I know when shes upset and if she's not willing to talk with me about it then I should probably just go, so she breaks down and says this.
"I just feel like you kind of use me. You never ask for my consent before touching me and it makes me feel like an object instead of a person."
Now, of course I understand the sentiment. I'm not always the most romantic of person, I try to make her feel good and give 110% to her, but I can see where shes coming from. Still, I was \[visibly confused\] at this statement, and she must have noticed because she huffed and pulled away again and said that I never listen to her.
I point out how we've been dating for months, and that neither of us has asked for consent to touch the other since we first started dating and were just starting to be sexual towards one another. She gets mad at this and says how it isn't the same for a woman as it is a man. I tell her how blatantly a double standard that is.
At this point shes getting angry and borderline yelling at me about this, and says that I'm no longer allowed to touch her in any way unless I ask first and she gives me permission.
I say that it makes no sense for us to be dating and in a romantic relationship if she expects me to walk on eggshells just to try and be intimate with her, and say that shes making me feel like I'm some kind of molester or sexual offender because I want to touch the woman I've been dating for 8 months.
"Well maybe you are!" she says angrily. At this point, I'm angry, annoyed, and absolutely fed up. I just say that if thats the way things need to be with her then maybe we just should break up. She throws a fit over this and starts insulting me, at which time I just leave and go home.
Not five minutes after I walk in my door, shes texting me saying that shes sorry for insulting me and yelling at me, I think it over for a minute and decide that I'm done, text her back that we're through, and go to bed.
​
I woke up in the morning to almost 50 texts, most from her either being apologetic or angry, the rest being from friends of hers or her sister calling me an asshole because I "broke up with the perfect woman because I wasn't allowed to grope her whenever I want."
So, Am I the asshole here? I feel like I'm justified in my reaction and opinions regarding this, but at the same time feel like maybe theres some new wave promoting the virtue of consent that I've missed? Am I the asshole for thinking that you shouldn't need to ask for consent to touch or feel your partner if you're in a romantic relationship?
​
And before you start yelling at me (even though I'm sure half of you have already started typing) I respect a persons right to say no. If I touch my girlfriend, or any girl I'm with sexually/romantically for that matter, and they say they aren't interested or aren't in the mood, I'll stop, no question. I just think requiring consent every time is insane and more damaging to the relationship than anything.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 669,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
tSL4CddEF6Iki8aeYHXqBWNgD5w9KyA6
|
aje20a
|
{
"description": "calling one of my noise sensitive downstairs neighbors a cunt",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for calling one of my noise sensitive downstairs neighbors a cunt?
|
So, I live in a apartment with a 3 roommates (for those wondering I’m in university out of state, because I graduated high school early, got a scholarship, and turned 17) and so far the roommates are fine, they even helped move my heavy ass desk to my room(as seen in r/battlestations) But the two tenants downstairs WILL. SHUT. UP. They’re a couple, bf and gf, and they must hear like dogs. Whenever I’m a little loud, like “Oh, you just got 100,000+ people in cities skylines? And you’re celebrating a little loud? How about I POUND THE ROOF!?” That’s what they do, one time I dropped a microphone on the ground, which was so hard it broke, and not 2 seconds later:
“POUND POUND” Okay, whatever ignore it. Which made my day 5x worse, and 1 day, my roommate paid the pet deposit so his dog could come up, and during while he was at class, his dog barked, ONCE. How do I know his dog barked? Because when I came home there was a note on our door that said, “DONT LET YOUR DIG BARK!” In big red letters, and also, my upstairs neighbor said;
“The dog only barked once, that’s all I heard”
So they’re clearly just blowing things out of proportion.
This incident is unrelated, by noise, anyway. So, I come home from getting my latte (Chai tea btw) and I see a parking spot, and I go to park there(our apartment doesn’t have assigned parking) and then I hear a car horn go off, I look around and see the couple neighbors sitting there in their Honda fucking civic(I’m not exaggerating) and they gave me the hardest death stare.
2 HOURS LATER
I go outside for quick errand, I get to my car, and there’s a piece of paper that says “NICE PARKING ASSWIPE” which I assumed was the neighbors, bc I was inside the lines. My final incident, I was in a discord call with a friend of mine playing BIGFOOT which is scary as shit, so I won’t lie I screamed, once. And then;
“POUND POUND POUND POUND”
I get instantly pissed off and pound back. Not two mins go by.
*knock knock*
(In discord) “ gimme a sec someone’s at my door”
*i walk to the door, look through the peep hole, ITS THE FUCKIN NEIGHBOR! The bf! So I open it*
“What the do you want?” I ask
“If you don’t quiet down your horror movie session, and stop being so loud, I’ll get you evicted and arrested” the neighbor responds, at this moment I snap.
“Well, maybe if your fucking ears weren’t so fucking sensitive, and you didn’t act like I parked like an asshole, you wouldn’t have too.” I respond
“I could get you arrested for what you just did! That’s disorderly conduct! Penial code 9!” He yells, getting in my face.
“How about you don’t pull stuff out of your fucking ass, and use earplugs! You fucking cunt!” I slammed the door shut. Went back to my discord call.
So the true question, am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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EVERYBODY
|
{
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|
WRONG
|
8sLpdwhHTIAerAAIaOa2vJoAPvNpFRgE
|
b221vd
|
{
"description": "hooking up with my ex-boyfriends brother",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for hooking up with my ex-boyfriends brother?
|
I broke up with my exboyfriend last summer and we haven't kept in touch as we don't really share any friends and he goes to a different college than me in the same city. His brother goes to the same college as me and he's a few years older than us. My ex and his brother live together in a 2bdrm apartment.
Last night I was out with some of my friends and saw my ex's brother and we began to talk and catch up because it had been a while since we'd last seen each other. Anyway one thing led to another and I left with him to his place. After we hooked up I was getting ready to leave then my ex walked into the apartment. I just squeaked out a 'hi' and ran out.
Now I saw that my ex blocked me on social media (instagram, deleted me off facebook). AITA? It's not like I'm dating his brother it was just a one time thing, I currently don't regret it but I'm not sure if what I did was bad.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
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}
|
WRONG
|
HUfazChL8b4NV3SlHhdct0DbePEQ8iWk
|
am2iay
|
{
"description": "not seeing my dying mom",
"pronormative_score": 24,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not seeing my dying Mom?
|
Long story with a lot of background
TL;DR Mom abandoned family and left me alone, didn't speak for 25 years and now her 'new family' are harassing me for not attending her bedside.
Throwaway for privacy but I was born in America and now live in EU. I grew up with my abusive mother, alcoholic father, twin brother and younger sister. Mom would constantly be screaming, shouting and demeaning me and my brother, call him Dave, by calling us rejects, unwanted, disgusting. I remember when I was 4 she dug her nails into my wrist she drew blood because I spilled a glass of milk. She scared my brother so much he'd often wet the bed (that we shared) and we'd be slapped silly by her and shoved into a cold shower to clean us off. Teachers often noticed bruises and such but after meeting our Mom, they'd back down out of fear for that psycho. Dad was usually drunk and while he wasnt abusive, he neglected us by not doing anything, and I mean anything to intervene or even say something to comfort us.
Sister, Lydia, was a saint and was spared this abuse. As we got older the abuse just kept going until Lydia died in a car accident. Immediatley me and Dave feared for our lives as we knew Mom would snap but instead, she just left. No note, no warning, the day after Lydia was buried she was gone. We were around 8 when this happened. Our Dad was not a good caregiver but we were no longer afraid or being hurt. Sure we went hungry and our clothes stank but I adapted. I learned to cook, do laundry and looked after my brother but as we became teens, the trauma and continuing neglect was making Dave very depressed. He began self harming, thinking Mom was right to punish him for being worthless and when we were 15 he committed suicide. I wanted to die when I found out. I blamed myself. I went out for two seconds to the store, my Dad was god knows where, and Dave didnt even hesistate. My Mom was at the funeral briefly but we avoided one another.
I've made peace with the fact he was very depressed and I truly did all I could but I blame my parents. I was taken into foster care with a nice family till I left for college. I havent spoken to my father in 15 years and my mother in 25. I left the country and hope to never see him again.
Last month, I got a contact request on FB with a message from a friend of my mothers from years ago. I thought this was weird as I barely remembered her. She said she had heard my mother was dying and that I should go say goodbye. I ignored the message.
A week later I got random messages from 2 girls saying they were my half sisters and my Mom gave them my name to find me. I politely told them I was sorry their mother was dying but not to contact me again. They flipped their shit and called me scum, she was right to leave me, drop dead etc.
BLOCKED.
Then they started contacting friends from FB, tried to find out where I worked, made new accounts to send more nasty messages and even put me on blast to my old hometown FB page using fake accounts. I deleted FB but not before hearig my mother was dead.
This all has dragged up so many feelings but deep down, I feel guilt for not seeing her and maybe I should have tried reaching out? I'm so messed up and confused but was I the asshole to basically ghost her in her last days?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
SY8x1QOSGyPWZQgnC4K8PEubaqU0lFQ6
|
apj7cg
|
{
"description": "being mad at my mother",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for being mad at my mother?
|
My mother loves me, she really does but sometimes she does things that piss me off. She gets extremely angry when I explain sometimes things can’t pause or last for longer than an hour. She also frequently deflects the blame for things on to me. Today I tried to talk to her about this but she deflected it on to me and stopped the conversation. I will admit I put things off but far less than she says. I will set up a plan for myself to do things and she will disregard it completely, instead demanding I do things right here right now irrelevant of circumstances. And my own ideas to help myself are constantly taken over by her. AITA for storming off into my room and yelling at her?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
INFO
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
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}
|
WRONG
|
dAt48umdrWiHPeXKnVm1Dmqz4Qv324th
|
ankrxf
|
{
"description": "arguing with my recovering alcoholic boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for arguing with my recovering alcoholic boyfriend?
|
This is not his (29) first attempt at quitting and hes now 5 days sober. Every time he quits he gets super irritable and snappy. I (28/f) can relate as an ex addict myself. But we argue constantly even when hes drinking and for him to be sober and still making smart comments really hurts me. Hes put me out the house multiple times and mentioned again today about me staying at my moms for the night (which is not a good option at this time). He had a bad tone in general when speaking to me and I get defensive and tell him he doesnt need to be rude or a dick, no matter how hes feeling. But I know recovery is so hard. Should I be more supportive and understanding? Am I an asshole???
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
LF4BajUE5JuBVkjCgMDdBNXWUGdKe5g4
|
aw6jey
|
{
"description": "not letting my wife name our kid after her childhood dog",
"pronormative_score": 55,
"contranormative_score": 37
}
|
AITA for not letting my wife name our kid after her childhood dog?
|
My wife is in her third trimester, and we have already decided the baby will have a middle name that has been in my family for generations as well as my last name. In the beginning, we decided that my wife would have full agency over the first name since so much of the baby's name is already "mine." However, we also agreed that I would have final veto power.
My wife has decided that she wants to name my future child after her childhood dog, who passed away a decade ago. It is not a super "dog" name, like Biscuit or Fido or something. However it still sounds like a dog name, think Lucy or Bella or something. I said I am not letting my kid be named after a dog, for heaven's sake, and she got really upset and said that it doesn't matter because I've never even met her childhood dog, so why would I even associate that name with a dog? She said she named her dog that as a kid because it was a name she always really liked. She also said that dog was her best friend growing up, while I've never even met the originator of our child's middle name.
Now she is really mad and she says she doesn't want the kid to have some dead person's middle name. She says I'm being selfish because 2/3 of the baby's name is already mine. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 31,
"OTHER": 42,
"EVERYBODY": 6,
"NOBODY": 13,
"INFO": 3
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 55,
"WRONG": 37
}
|
RIGHT
|
Q9OZ4EVKnktaRqgHxlI20QdixQqEzDb1
|
adcv5k
|
{
"description": "not giving my roommate my half of the electricity bill",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 15
}
|
AITA for not giving my roommate my half of the electricity bill?
|
Okay let me get this out the way first I fully intend to pay this man my half of the electricity bill. But I don’t want to give him the money right now ($30) because I didn’t like the way he asked for it.
The bill is due on the 9th. He already payed it so it’s not like we’re going to be late. But no one asked him to pay it before the 9th. And he’s basically been ignoring me all day even though we’ve been in the same room for at least a total of two hours today. And I’ve been in the apartment for almost the entirety of the day and so has he. But he went into his room then sent me the Venmo request which I thought was rude because it wasn’t accompanied by a text or just him saying that he was going to send it. So I declined it. 4 hours later he sent me another one that I declined too. While we were standing together in the kitchen. Then he got an attitude and I told him why I was width holding the money and I told him he’d see it when I was good and ready or when the bill is due. Whichever comes first.
So AITA for not giving him the money until the due date?
PS.. I usually don’t even need a Venmo request because I usually Venmo him as soon as they tell us the amount of the monthly bill but I changed my number and they usually text me to tell me the balance and I haven’t updated my number because apparently I have to call and do that shit and I haven’t gotten around to it.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 13,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 15
}
|
WRONG
|
Gh6mnHBvRmtjx0OvRi6dnvn5XXD9LlHS
|
arzqkn
|
{
"description": "not telling my classmate about an University talk",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not telling my classmate about an University talk?
|
So today I went to high school as always, and my friend, who is a girl, we'll call her... uh... Ashley. We are at second of bachillerato (I think that's how to say it in English, I guess it's like that) So before the teacher starts the class, a classmate shows a paper/file/document to Ashley about permission to go to an University guide asking if she is going.
Ashley turns her face to me (it looked like the Pikachu one, lol) and says: "Crisll, you didn't told me about this when I didn't come to classes the other day when I was ill and asked you about tasks and what you've done, I can't trust you anymore".
Ok. What? I was shocked since I thought she wasn't interested in this activity, about months ago we had a similar activity out of high school, taking information of universities, but she didn't even come to see.
Also, once, we have an hour a week that we don't do any learning, it's called "tutorship" I think. Just manage upcoming events in high school, behaviour, etc. That tutorship day, we were announced that a person from outside would come to have a talk with us about universities too. She decided to leave high school that day since it would be in the last hour of the day schedule. Also I left that day, I wasn't interested anymore.
Well, I replied to her: "I told you everything. Task, what we've done. I thought you didn't even cared about this, and in our class from the, 28 we are, only 9 wanted to go, also it costs 3€"
She said: "Of course I want to go! Are you stupid? Next time tell me everything!"
So the teacher approach us and tell us to end the story, since I didn't want to bother the teacher, I just said: "That's your problem, next time show interests in your things. That's all"
She said lowering his voice: "Asshole..." We started the class.
I mean, yeah, I should've told her everything. But I'm thinking about this all the day, and it's bothering me. Sorry if I didn't explain myself that well, English is not my native languague, but... AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
30nwTLyDiWihFgrK5xTDc8C95lwLRqjd
|
ava88f
|
{
"description": "wanting to break up with my girlfriend of 4 years",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For wanting to break up with my girlfriend of 4 years?
|
The short version:
We met online my freshman year and I wasnt really a social guy in school so I didnt have interest in finding anyone else. Fast forward four years she moves out to my state (5 hour drive) after high school leaving behind her parents and free school (only in her state) to live with me. I've loved her this whole time but I slowly started to realize once she moved out here that we probably arent right for each other. We fight all the time and she wants to make this work but I can tell she isnt happy here. She doesnt want to live with me or my family. She wants me to move out with her which I cant afford to and dont think I'm ready to do even though I'm 18. I dont think I'm happy either. I feel like im not myself when shes around. I cant do what I usually do (make music with my brothers) cause I can't leave her alone, I'm her only friend here. She doesnt want to sit in the room with us either.
Basically AITA for wanting to break up with her?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
ddHCIaLy7Gip5ryuwCngCKUCBTXpbXd8
|
afrlrb
|
{
"description": "selling a pair of $21,000 earrings my bf got me while he's in rehab",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA If I sold a pair of $21,000 earrings my bf got me while he's in rehab.
|
We're both 18 years old.
I wanted to return them in the store, but the policy requires him to do it in person. Because he's going into 30 day inpatient care, he won't be able to return them himself. So I think I'm going to sell them online. I'd give the money to his older sister and she can choose what to do with it. I know it's his money and it was a gift for me but I can't accept it. When I look at the earrings, I feel like I can't breathe. The whole thing scares me.
When he gave them to me, he didn't want to pressure me and I don't have to accept them. He said he was getting help "tomorrow" and then he'll be fixed for me. He'd even do 90 day rehab for me, if it helps. He just needs me to wait for him. I tried telling him that he needs to do it for himself, NOT for me. I can't be the reason he wants to get better. I'd be there for him but I couldn't take the earrings. He got upset but said it was okay and that he respected that. Then he just went to sleep. I'm not exaggerating. He went on the couch and fell asleep. Just like that.
But I can't keep them. His older sister gave me the receipt and the earrings. He is not in a good place right now. He made an impulsive and reckless choice.
I can't put it into words, but selling his fucking Mercedes to buy me a pair of earrings scares me so much. I'm scared for him. I'm scared for us. I don't know why, but I'm scared for me too. But with these earrings, and being the only reason he wants to get better, I feel so trapped. I literally CANNOT KEEP THEM.
But I feel like it's also not my place to sell them. They'll sell for a lot less than he paid for.
**Also: Some of that money could help me, but that would def make me more than just the asshole if I spent it. I need to pay some school fees and I can't afford books, but I won't spend a single cent. I don't even need to ask if that's wrong. My older brother is trying to convince me to pay for what I need and give the rest. But he is only thinking about my best interest, not morals.**
​
​
​
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
uHK63uhbaZYifdLBeK7KHg0MkuEfTLwr
|
aa5jf4
|
{
"description": "ghosting grandma",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for ghosting grandma
|
I know this sounds bad, it's a weird situation and I don't know if I'm in the right or not.
​
So my paternal grandma is kinda estranged, I never knew and only saw a few times growing up. Most of my family hates her including my dad. So a few months ago she somehow got my phone number and keeps inviting me out for things which is fine but I feel like allot of her texts are kinda manipulative. I had gotten a few loaded messages from her, things like it would break my heart if you don't come to family brunch on sunday, etc and an angry voicemail. The voicemail said something about how my parents were horrible for holding a grudge against her for all these years and I need to reach out to her.
​
I reached out to my dad for guidance but got nothing out of it and my mom basically said to tell her off. I went out to brunch with her once and it seemed to go ok but the next time I couldn't make it due to work. I got an angry call from her and pretty much told her I'm a grown man with my own life and responsibilities to take care of. After that incident I haven't responded to anything that's been sent to me.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
tHvyBQMeDbaZ4FaEUhCqfRULoBRP0nP1
|
aueadd
|
{
"description": "refusing to go on a business trip",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for refusing to go on a business trip?
|
TL;DR: Boss wants to send me to countries that I don't consider safe enough, legally I'd be required, but I don't care and don't want to go, AITA?
Recently my boss told me that he will have to send me on a two-destination business trip for two weeks (which is generally legal by German law, even if not in the contract). Now the destinations are: Saudi Arabia and later Mexico.
Now the thing is, I should probably brought this up when I was hired two years ago, but I didn't exactly expect to be sent to places like that (in fact, I didn't even know there would be travel further than EU countries, but that's my fault I guess).
Still, I am always very cautious when it comes to travel destinations. I even have map with country classification and important information for each country (certain laws, security companies, medical centers, reaction/travel time of my insurance's emergency transport) that isn't in the "no go zone".
The no go zone consists of countries with:
a) high crime rate (or high crime rate against foreigners)
b) authoritarian governments (north korea/cuba/venezuela/etc)
c) legal system with certain traits (mix of corruption index, sentence severity, mandatory sentences, number of instances and reliability of judges)
d) countries with islamic law or active extremist groups
Mexico falls in category a) and Saudi Arabia in categories c) and d). Thus I will absolutely refuse to go. I refuse to risk my safety for a fucking business trip. Just remember that the question isn't wether I should refuse or not. I will. AITA?
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
0xgvDtegZ8pzoEmdF0Job0mfygUD2nEL
|
b5v6qy
|
{
"description": "making my girlfriend's roommate uncomfortable by staying over a lot",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for making my girlfriend’s roommate uncomfortable by staying over a lot?
|
Today I woke up at my girlfriend’s place and was not feeling well. Since I was off anyways, my girlfriend said it was fine for me to spend the day here instead of driving back to my place just to sleep.
Sometime in the afternoon, her roommate came home from work early and she saw my car in the front and texted her that she was annoyed I’m here when she is not. The roommate feels my girlfriend and I are being disrespectful because I spend a lot of time here.
I do feel it is important to note that my girlfriend has a private room and bathroom where I spend the whole time.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
KYASQwyouvp430wmtcqSY1uBlD2IPJ5u
|
awsi24
|
{
"description": "asking my husband to divorce me because I had my uterus removed and can't conceive anymore",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 25
}
|
AITA for asking my husband to divorce me because I had my uterus removed and can't conceive anymore.
|
We love children. We absolutely wanted them, until I had to have my uterus removed due to medical complications. That's it. We can no longer have children.
I don't want this to prevent him from having his own children. I love him. But I know that I have to let go. We're still young( late twenties) and I don't want him to regret anything.
So, I'm asking him to divorce me and find someone who he can have a real family with. But he's really angry that I'm suggesting this and called me an asshole. Am I? Am I an asshole for aksing him to have a great life?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 25,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 25
}
|
WRONG
|
6hoOgSJKLX98szimmqMEF4NIBNx7vual
|
b1hr27
|
{
"description": "calling this girl out for her r/iamverysmart bullshit",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA if I called this girl out for her r/iamverysmart bullshit?
|
I can’t help but think this would be petty, but I’m curious about others’ opinions.
There’s this girl in my friends’ Discord chat (around 20 people) who will not shut the fuck up about being a “mathematician” (she’s still in the process of completing her degree, by the way). She constantly posts unfunny math memes that no one except her understands and it’s annoying and awkward. One of my previous posts is her if you’re wondering what I mean: [HERE](https://www.reddit.com/r/iamverysmart/comments/au2av9/and_her_profile_photo_has_to_be_pi/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app)
Would I be an asshole to call her out on it? A lot of the folks in the chat haven’t even attended post secondary, and I can’t help but feel like she’s bragging about how smart she is. I don’t want others in the chat to be alienated.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
INFO
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
WRONG
|
M1EIlGMuCU6FdbpfEmCH86y8Ljt22y5x
|
aremmg
|
{
"description": "being annoyed about being invited out to dinner on my birthday",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being annoyed about being invited out to dinner on my birthday?
|
So, here's the thing, my mom has always made my birthdays in some way about her. She'll take me to bars with her peer group because she normally does this even though I don't know any of them. So this year I specifically asked if I could just do something with family, like have dinner or something. It seems like she got the memo this year up until about 30 minutes ago when she got on the phone with her friends who I barely know and who are now invited. They're also now planning on going out to a bar again after. I voiced my annoyance in that I've specifically asked for a while now that this not happen. Now she's saying I'm an asshole and insane for being upset about the changes because she's taking me to dinner with family.... and her friends, then a bar. She is still taking me to dinner, which is nice, so do I have the right to be upset?
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
Jd1MSNGRojFxspYUrLqnp2zLpGqk2kkh
|
agiaxh
|
{
"description": "wanting to leave my wife [/] for a man [30sm] I just met",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 19
}
|
AITA for wanting to leave my wife [34M/35F] for a man [30sM] I just met?
|
Sounds bad, I know. It probably is. But it’s more complicated than that and I need help. For the record, **I’m bi, and have been out for years**. This is not about me discovering my sexuality. Did that in middle school.
Anyway. I feel like shit even thinking about doing this, but I don’t know what else to do. It’s not that I don’t care about my wife. I just don’t love her anymore. I don’t know if I ever really did.
See, I’ve known her since we were kids. Our families were close friends. We went to school together. We went on vacations together. You get the idea. Our parents used to joke that we decided to get married when we were five.
We did date other people. I had my share of failed high school romances. College too. And she had an on-again-off-again thing with another guy for a while.
The summer before she started med school we started hanging out again, and one thing led to another, I guess. We broke up for a while, didn’t want to do the long distance thing, but then she ended up in my city and we got back together. We’ve been married 4 years.
But it doesn’t feel like it. We spend more time with our dog than each other. She works weird hours and I travel a lot, so even when we’re both home, we’re too tired to do anything. We’re both introverts, so we go into separate rooms and do our own thing. We don’t even bother to eat together. We barely even talk to each other. We haven’t had sex in close to a year. You get the picture. We’re roommates who happen to share a tax return.
Except I’m starting to realize is that we’ve never really been compatible. We don’t share hobbies. She has no interest in my work (I don’t blame her, it’s kinda boring) and I only have a passing interest in hers. The only thing we have in common are our families, and even that’s starting to disappear.
It sounds stupid to call it a marriage of convenience, but at this point, what else could it be? We got together and stayed together because we felt like we were supposed to. And now, unless something changes, we’re going to be stuck like this.
Which brings me back to the guy I met. I don’t know what love at first sight is supposed to feel like, but I felt *something* for the first time in years. The kind of something that makes me want to run off into the sunset or some dumb shit like that.
And yeah, I slept with him. Was it one of the dumbest things I’ve ever done? Yep. Do I regret it? Yes and no. I’m still married, after all... but he’s easily a 10. Like, I thought this guy was some movie star I’d never heard of. Nope, just a normal guy who’s Ryan-Reynolds-level hot.
Anyway, aside from that, I’m not an idiot. I know that the chances of me staying with this guy are basically zero. I’d love to, because he’s exactly my type and he’s been very kind about all this, but I’m a realist. It’s not going to happen.
But now that I’ve realized how complacent I’ve been, I don’t think I can go back. Even if my wife disagrees with what our marriage has come to, I think we’re fundamentally incompatible. There’s no coming back from that.
To be clear: I am not **happy** about this. I don’t **want** to do this. I’ve never let myself think about it until I met someone who reminded me of all the things I don’t have in my marriage. Then it all came crashing down like a ton of bricks. It’s much easier to not have to face it. Ignorance is bliss.
But now that I know what I’m missing, I can’t ignore it anymore. Maybe my wife will hate me for it, but... this is better in the long run, right? She deserves someone who actually suits her. Right?
I don’t know, maybe I’m justifying it at this point. IDK if this should be in another sub, but I feel like an asshole so here I am.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 19,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 19
}
|
WRONG
|
RAJPAvgM0DsbGQPOjb8WsmBT9dS35oxl
|
b3w9yy
|
{
"description": "telling my mom's bf that he's not my father",
"pronormative_score": 51,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
WIBTA if I tell my mom’s bf that he’s not my father?
|
My mom has a bf that has been trying to act like a dad to me even though him and my mom aren’t married. He keeps trying to have these really cringey talks with me. He’s also threatened to punish me by taking away my phone when my mom wasn’t home. He didn’t though. He keeps trying to pressure me into going out and doing things just me and him.
I glad he makes my mom happy, I really am. I have a father though. I’m 16, in two years I’ll be out of the house. I don’t need him to raise me. He and my mother aren’t even married. I wish he would just back off and leave me alone. Our relationship would be a lot better if he did cause right now all he’s doing is making me like him less and less.
I don’t want to be mean about it, but I want to tell him he’s not my dad. He doesn’t need to be. He can just date my mom and we can all get along until I leave in the meantime.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 25,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 26,
"INFO": 6
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 51,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
FMOxsGLph1yhUbloccocbSY4qP1v3qJU
|
aywoi5
|
{
"description": "getting upset my girlfriend ignored me all day",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for getting upset my girlfriend ignored me all day?
|
My girlfriend and I (both 21) have been together for almost 4 years. We’re both in college, long distance but we see each other when we’re home for breaks. I also suffer from depression and anxiety.
She has spring break the week before I do, so only one weekend overlaps. This year she decided to go on a volunteer work trip through her school to build some houses. I was pretty excited for her as she seemed really excited to go on it. I expected that we wouldn’t talk much over the week, but the first day we talked quite a bit, which helped given I was having a rough couple of days.
I had a breakdown one of the nights and we ended up in a bit of a fight when I had asked if she saw me in her future, and she responded with that she didn’t really know how long she saw. This dug really deep since we had planned to be together long term, eventually getting married. She said she didn’t want to feel tied down and would rather take life day by day. I knew she didn’t like to have plans for some things (I on the other hand like having a plan), but this was new info. I felt emotionally devastated, almost betrayed. The girl I thought I was gonna be with forever told me she didn’t want to plan the future anymore. We didn’t really reach a conclusion because it was nearly 1 AM and she had to be up at 6. The next day we talked a little bit but I was still on edge and hurt from the night before, so conversation was sparse and tense. I ended up getting a really big internship and she wasn’t there to celebrate with me. It was her last day of work though, so I figured today we’d talk more.
This morning I decided to let her text first since I usually do; to see if she wanted to talk to me, and it wasn’t just because I texted first. She was up at 8 AM. At 12 I was really tempted to text her but held off. At 3, I texted her saying I had waited for her to text first but couldn’t take it anymore. I saw on Snapchat she was active, but go no response. At 4 I texted asking if I had done something for her to ignore me. Once again she was active on her phone but ignored me. At 5, I caved in again and told her I was distraught over how she was ignoring me. She finally responded saying “I’ve been busy, what have you not gotten from this week?”. When I said all I wanted was for her to check in on me,she said she didn’t have time to text today as the group was busy (sightseeing the area). She told me I was ridiculous for being sad and anxious and I should’ve know better for texting her while she was busy, which to me she wasn’t, she was just driving around with her friends. After I explain again all I wanted was for her to care about how I was, she said she was “so over trying to prove she was busy” and said “I have to go but I hope by the next time I get to text you you’re better.”
I don’t know when or if she’ll text me again today. I just feel like shit and I want this mess to be over.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
6UJpUcRkBfU8Fiv4kOgpahLVQVXdMImv
|
b6agl8
|
{
"description": "not going to my former best friend's wedding",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not going to my former best friend's wedding?
|
I had a good friend that I had been friends with since we were small children. He asked me to be one of his best men at his wedding (he had multiple so he didn't have to choose). I live in Texas, and so does he, but the wedding was in Ohio, which is where his wife is from. I was responsible for buying a tux, my travel, and my hotel. I don't make a lot of money, and this was a big commitment for me, but I was determined to make it since he was my best friend.
It was about two weeks from the wedding, and we got very disturbing news from my ex-girlfriends family that her mom was arrested and going to prison for pulling a lady out of her car at a red light and beating the ever-loving dogshit out of her. Her sister was staying in the mom's apartment without any food or electricity, so naturally we had to travel to Illinois to get her since she was only 14 at the time. This would mean I would have to miss my best friend's wedding.
I called my friend and explained the situation. I'm a big, burly man, but I cried over the phone at the fact that I wasn't going to be able to make his wedding. It literally crushed me, but I couldn't leave that child in that situation. He told me that he understood, and I told him that when he came back that we would celebrate his wedding.
We picked up the sister and came back, and he was having a party at his apartment so I went. He nor his wife would even speak to me. I sat by myself at that party with nobody to talk to. I ended up leaving and he hasn't spoken to me since. It was at that point that I realised that he had done this to my other friend as well in another situation. I don't really feel bad about it now since it was 2 years ago, but my coworker thinks ITA. What do you guys think? AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
0pKB80nOtfgzfxqyfSslNijpIY2yWXuc
|
a5r2mj
|
{
"description": "not buying in my female coworkers' regular bake sales",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not buying in my female coworkers' regular bake sales?
|
They bring donuts to work that they their children baked (supposedly) and solicit people to buy them @ $1 each so the kids can fund some sports equipment purchases.
They do this every three months now. I bought several donuts the first time, but now I am done with this.
They exert a mild pressure to buy and give a cold shoulder to "cheapskates" who opt out.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
3yFQRNB8RsHoBIuWV8GCou1zc7FQ5OZq
|
b229wb
|
{
"description": "planning a vacation when I know I'll be asked to work",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for planning a vacation when I know I'll be asked to work?
|
Okay so from the title alone, I definitely sound like the asshole. But hear me out.
I'm a nanny for two lovely kids. I love them, but the family pays me a laughably small amount of money for the work I put in. I work about 8 hours, four days a week for 150 a week.
This is my second job, I also work a more "career" part time job in the evenings. I took the nanny job not for the money but because it's something I enjoy doing while I'm not working at my "real" job.
However, the parents can be... demanding. Often, they will ask me to come early or on days off without paying me extra. I can be a bit of a pushover, so I usually make their requests work if I can. Well, the mom is pregnant with her third child it's made things more difficult for me, but I wont get too into that.
The case in question: She has an ultrasound appointment in a few weeks to find out the gender. Last time she had an appointment, she called me (on my day off) at 8 am as they were on their way to the doctor to ask if I could watch their kids. Due to the way my two work schedules lined up, this was my only day off that week. I tried to tell her that, but she said stuff along the lines of "I know, and I will be so appreciative for your help. You dont understand how hard it is to have kids at a dr. Appt," etc, etc, basically cornering me and giving me no choice. Finally, I caved and agreed to meet her to take the kids.
Fast forward, last week she posted online that she has an ultrasound appointment in couple weeks to see the gender. I immediately know exactly what is going to happen, shes going to call me (at best) the day before to ask me (tell me) to watch her kids so she and her husband can go without them. My first instinct was to just plan for this and keep my schedule clear that day. Then the asshole(?) in me remembered that my boyfriend and I had been planning a mini vacation next month. I asked him if he would be okay with doing it early, and we ended up working it out so we will be going on our long weekend trip at the same time as this doctors appointment. I thought this way, when she calls at the last minute, I will have a firm excuse for why I cant help, and she will have to figure something else out
Then I started to feel like an asshole. I feel petty for going out of my way just to get out of helping someone, especially cause I know they dont have anyone else around to help them. I feel spineless for not being able to just stand up for myself and say no. Then again, this is a vacation we were going to take anyway, they dont pay me extra to help on these extra days (cause they pay me by the week), and she has a really skillful way of manipulating people so it's just impossible to say no to her sometimes.
The vacation is planned and the hotel is booked so I cant take it back, but I'm wondering how guilty I should feel about this. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
uBTqygNFFn8cY0Kge7HgjUOpQoGNYJp6
|
ako16u
|
{
"description": "expecting a level of competency from my town leaders and admins",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for expecting a level of competency from my town leaders and admins?
|
Too often correspondence, social media, town newsletters, and town council meeting minutes have been riddled with errors, misspellings, and just plain bad writing -- often leading to confusion and misunderstanding. I have pointed this out when information has actually been incorrect and even gone so far as to publicly post a newsletter with nearly a dozen errors circled. This has been unwelcome by the admin, and I have even been asked in (unrelated) correspondence with the town mayor why I "dissect" the social media and website. Am I the asshole for alerting them to the errors and expecting the personnel to do their job with a minimum level of competency in public communication and correspondence?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
gMcbPs0yhUfYZgoEJb61QZpv7TH6QuZo
|
aodvhj
|
{
"description": "getting mad at my gf for trying to set up an appointment with a psychologist for me",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for getting mad at my GF for trying to set up an appointment with a psychologist for me?
|
Context: Recently I’ve been in a pretty shitty place headspace-wise. I recently came back with my current GF after a hard ass break up period. It’s been 2 years now trying to make my own business work and make meets end. All of this has been building up lately (since October) and I can admit that I’m pretty much a mess right now. I opened up with my GF about this (pretty hard thing for me to do to begin with), and that I’ve been thinking about therapy. But I don’t have the money or time (and I’m a bit scared too) to do it right now.
Anyway:
Today she texted me trying to know if i was free by the morning cause she already looked for a psychologist and a friend of hers told her that he was pretty good.
My initial reaction was to really freak out and ask her why did she do it? How did she hear from him, etc etc ... She left me the number of the guy and told me “I’ll not touch the subject again” you go when you want to go and ended the conversation. I can tell she got upset about me getting defensive. I genuinely felt like it’s not her choice to decide when I should do it. Don’t get me wrong I DO appreciate she caring enough for her to go out of her way and look for someone to help me get through this. But, isn’t it like pushing a kid into a deep pool he is afraid of?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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|
WRONG
|
F1TiU1a2LoHHuBbU2Hy6nMnjhcUO91f6
|
a32c27
|
{
"description": "telling my rude sister to fuck off",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for telling my rude sister to fuck off?
|
My sister just got back from college, and she is my favorite sister and i've missed her very much. We'll call her The Good Sister. We've made plans to go out and do fun stuff for my birthday that's coming up very soon, and i dont know how, but my other sister found out about this.
"The bad sister" decides she wants in on the action, and somehow gets my number and texts me about it. she has been pretty awful to me and my family most of my life. she apparently has 'turned over a new leaf' but i haven't seen this, and when she texted me, asking me what type of present she should get me, and where she should meet us (all the while inviting herself as i didn't say yes to her coming).
the good sister says that i should give her a chance, and so just talk to her maybe and see how i feel. so i did. we had a decent enough conversation, but i honestly dont trust her.
she is the type who thinks birthdays and holidays aren't anything special and i have fears about being made to feel guilty as i am usually a pretty big celebrator.
​
long story short, it's closer to my birthday, and finally, bad sis demands an answer, and i just say "no, im sorry i just dont want you there."
​
cue her ranting about how she has to return a present, and all this stuff about how im not being nice. so i just straight said, "fuck off"
​
was this too far? AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
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|
WRONG
|
bAWkRq1nxvyfmd0VyIj7FYCKsSAGH6Px
|
a669m7
|
{
"description": "fighting back",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for fighting back?
|
AITA in this situation Reddit?
Hello I am 13 years old, recently at school this asshole was preying on a kid. This kid was pretty innocent and he couldn't really stick up for himself. I sit next to him in class and one day I find the bully blocking my way to my seat and terrorising the kid. I told him to buzz off and go back to his seat then he made fun of me. I retaliated with asking him if he wanted to cry to my mother again (context, he once complained to my mother that I swear at him, ironically he makes fun of my accent and swears at me too). He got pissed and pushed me, I hit him in the face and he hits me back. Teacher throws bully out if classroom. Next day in the morning he clearly purposely pushed me causing me to topple over and hit the floor. Other teacher sends us both into the classroom. She says that it's BOTH OUR FAULT and believes him when he said it was accidental. Am I the asshole here guys?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
EPxHQrmjn4hilhEQketnxONUDhxAgVcH
|
aajmzg
|
{
"description": "not being excited/involved in my mothers baby",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA For not being excited/involved in my mothers baby?
|
I'm 21, and am currently freelancing while living at home. I have never really had a good relationship with my parents (mom + stepdad), but after a very difficult internship abroad + breakup, I'm struggling with some mental health issues. My parents said they're okay with me taking my time to find my footing, which I'm very thankful for, and that I can stay with them as long as I need. I have projects ongoing fairly consistently and make decent money that I either re-invest into upgrading my computer for new projects, or saving for the future. I do help a bit around the house and more when asked, though truthfully I could be doing more if I managed my depression and time better.
​
I don't like children, never have and never will. I find them slightly disgusting, and very annoying. I never wanted children of my own, and I grew up as an only child.
​
My mom is currently 4 months pregnant with my stepdads child. She brought up today that she's upset that she can't rely on me for help in the future with the baby and that she wishes I cared about her and her needs since she's doing me a huge favour by letting me stay at the house (slightly rephrased, because I couldn't remember how she originally said it.) Basically, she called me selfish for not wanting to help with the baby.
​
I have no problem picking up more weight in other areas of the housework, like cleaning (although we have a cleaning lady) and feeding the cats, but I specifically do not want anything to do with the baby. I don't want to see/touch/interact with the baby. Again, I do not have a good relationship with my parents after years of emotional abuse and see this new person as an extension of *their* family, which I have never felt a part of. My bio-dad is not in the picture.
​
So, AITA for not wanting anything to do with my mothers new child, despite the fact that they're letting me stay rent-free in their house while I figure my life out a bit?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
fZc0yo5JgTJdjzGDIzHfHxHDAj4lmi3e
|
b1ww6f
|
{
"description": "choosing a different name for this cat",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for choosing a different name for this cat?
|
So, my sister (T) is currently living with a boyfriend that, until a few days ago, housed 6 other cats. This was because the guy didn't fix his original cats and it resulted in an inbred litter - two of these cats wound up with some health issues.
The focus of this post is just on one of those cats, though. His name is Scooter, because his back legs are deformed and he needed to have a wheelchair to get around. He's eight years old, and still hasn't gotten a wheelchair. Keep in mind, a few months ago one of the cats somehow ate a lily and the guy had to pay I think a thousand or two to pump the stomach.
Anyway, my family is trying to help get Scooter adopted to ease things up. We brought him to another sister's house (we'll call her A), gave him a bath, TLC, and showed him how to get into the litter box (I made a makeshift ramp out of a pizza box). Once he started to get used to us, he actually started hobbling around and cuddling up to us. T and her boyfriend are no longer actively involved in this.
What I'm wondering is whether ITA for calling this cat by a different name. I didn't want to say anything at first, but A and I had a discussion about how it didn't feel right that the cat was named based on its disability (which they didn't even provide for). I haven't said anything to T yet, but if it were ever brought up I think she would be outraged - would she be justified in that? She can be rather unreasonable about some things, but the only other person I've spoken to about this is A.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
OCy6PMqDIaWUNUg4RKX5cmNHLUc907Cj
|
as6o5q
|
{
"description": "thinking that my BF going to 8 people is excessive",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for thinking that my BF going to 8 people is excessive?
|
I made a mistake and texted my ex-bf and hid it from my BF. I am not justifying my actions by any means & I know was wrong in that action. For context, it was a 2 text conversation about school, superficial and not inappropriate. My BF has a bit of a jealousy problem and has expressed that he didn't want me texting my ex by any means. Since I started dating my BF, my ex has never tried to get back with me and has stated that he's happy I'm with someone that makes me happy. My BF is just a bit insecure and doesn't want me in communication with my ex at all as he feels I won't fully be over him if I don't cut him out.
​
My BF went through my laptop and found the conversation. Before confronting me he said he was at a loss and needed to ask other people for their opinion on what to do. He went to 8 of our closest friends and sent them a long message stating that I texted my ex and lied and hid it from him. He provided no context on the actual conversation I had but did state it was not sexual. He didn't tell them the conversation was about school, and a lot assumed I was emotionally cheating, which I was not. He also claimed that I used to text my ex last semester every single day, which is not true, I would never reach out to him, I would only respond to his texts and again all conversations were small talk and superficial and I would always let my bf know and would tell him he can read through the conversations if he wanted to. But over winter break, I told him I would break off communication completely. Which I had until this.
​
He didn't include any backstory into why we've been having problems. I have expressed doubts in our relationship to him due to him getting jealous of me having breakfast with our guy best friend after volunteering, and getting mad I bought a guy friend a drink because I thought he had disliked me but I was wrong, so in good faith I got us shots, my bf was with me the entire time & I never flirted or expressed interest, but he accused me of wanting to be with him anyways. He wanted to try anal sex, but I didn't, but he stated that since I've tried it before (4 yrs ago), he felt I owed him a chance as well. He also went through my Instagram and found a post I made in 2013 about a high school BF and stated how I loved him more since I was "more expressive" about it than I am currently with him.
​
AITE for thinking that going to 8 people is excessive and being upset he brought our friends in the middle of our problems? It seems he wanted everyone to know the wrong I did. He also told 1 of the 8, personal info about me and my ex that I had confided in him with, this same person has now gone and told outside people that we broke up because I was texting my ex. Slandering me and not including any context about the texts and not mentioning any of the jealousy and control issues that we were also facing that contributed to our breakup that she also knew of.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
8TNNFFJEFVAOpt73hXaZ5LTdFmnydaJe
|
auq0c5
|
{
"description": "bringing my designer bag to work",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I brought my designer bag to work?
|
Hello all, I'm using a throwaway account for this post. For context, the bag in question is the Louis Vuitton Speedy B 25 in the Damier Ebene print.
I've been working at my family's company for the past 6 years. My father co-owns the company with a business partner, who I'll call David, and both of them have family working here. His partner has more of his family working here than my dad does, simply because his partner has more kids/grandkids.
I still live with my parents and make a decent sum of money, though not enough to live on my own comfortably. For cultural and practical reasons, there's no expectation that I will move out from my parents house until marriage, though if I really wanted to and funded it myself my parents would only raise minor objections. On David's side, he has openly talked about putting down payments on his kids's houses (who also work here) and he gives them his cars once he tires of them. My dad bought my first car when I was 18 which I still use, though I'm allowed to drive any of the cars we have.
Given all that, it seems natural that I would have a lot more "spending money", enough to buy a nice bag or two. However, I know a lot of people at this company have money issues because they have kids and families to support and would never even think of carrying a designer bag. I would say, if I brought this bag to work, I'd be the only one in the company to bring a designer bag at all.
I'm not so worried about David's side of the family putting up a stink, but some of our other employees have been here longer than I have and concerns about how their financials. I don't want to be an asshole by "flaunting my wealth" in front of them, especially since there's that element of nepotism there. On the other hand, the bag is very practical and easy to use and ideally suited for use at work.
So would I be the asshole if I brought this bag to work? Am I overthinking the whole issue? I did notice a few designer bags at our company xmas party, but as far as I know those people were married to employees and not any of our actual employees.
​
I know a lot of people already think I'm a spoiled brat because of my circumstances, but that's not what I'm asking about so if that's the extent of your comment I will not bother replying.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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|
NOBODY
|
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|
RIGHT
|
pIMJ70KktD86k04DlEERMiVcUxCydBEI
|
ao2ab9
|
{
"description": "trying to maintain a \"clean\" breakup after my ex threatened suicide during the conversation",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for trying to maintain a "clean" breakup after my ex threatened suicide during the conversation?
|
I (24F) after a lot of fighting and reflection decided that my relationship of 2 and a half years with my partner (25F) needed to end. We had been fighting nearly constantly for months and I had asked for us to go to counseling together three times and every time she said no.
Throughout our entire relationship she said if we were going to break up I would have to be the one to make the decision... So I did.
I tried my best to be as gentle and compassionate as possible but it just wasn't enough and by the end of the conversation she had thrown herself across the bonnet of my car and begged me not to leave her.
Before I left she asked me if there was any hope of us getting back together because if not she may as well overdose. I told her if she was planning to in the hope of getting me back it wasn't going to work.
I have been panicking for two days. I know she's alive because she shared a couple of things on Facebook. Does she just need time? Or should I make contact.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
KaTHGaz6fj2HunA5AD04s7Apf2zjLwpd
|
albl6e
|
{
"description": "demanding rent money from my room mate",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for demanding rent money from my room mate?
|
So, last year, around May, my buddy was going through several health issues and lost his job. He said that he was going apply for disability. He broke up with his long time girlfriend and wanted a place to stay.
I was just served divorce papers, so I was in a spot, too. We agreed, because we had been long time friends, that he could move with me into an apartment and I would cover his half of the bills while he applied for disability. I was pretty good friends with him and I watched his health decline over a year or so, so I thought everything was legit.
He sells his truck so that he can pay his half of the rent. I told him not to worry about the utilities or the internet until he started receiving disability.
For the next six months, though, this guy does nothing that could speed up his disability claim. He makes one claim, talks to one lawyer, and doesn't visit any doctors during this time. Literally all he did was play video games and get drunk. Around October I started telling him that I'm having problems making ends meet, and that I needed to know what was going on with his claim. He said he didn't know what was going on with it. I told him he needed to start making phone calls and appointments because I couldn't take care of him anymore.
Come January 1st, I knocked on his door and I asked him for his half of the rent. He just stood there and looked at me like I was crazy. I stared back at him. He stared back at me. I asked for his half of the rent again. He says,"Dude, I'm broke, I thought you knew that." Then he tries to gaslight me and tell me that we had this long conversation about how he was broke and that I said I would cover his half of the rent, too.
I told him he had to pay up. Not only for the rent, but for his half of the rest of the bills, too, or I was going to find a lawyer. I couldn't kick him out because his name was on the lease, but the lease made us equally responsible for the rent.
We ended up having a huge blowout because, later on in January, I sent him a message that had the total of how much money he owed me for rent, for utilities, and for internet. He went ballistic. He claimed that he never tried to screw me over and that he had done *so many things* to help me out, like sell his truck to pay rent. I pointed out to him that he sold his truck to pay rent, not to help me out, and that I had been covering all the other bills while all he did was play video games and get drunk.
So he decides to move back in with his ex-girlfriend.
The day he moves out, I ask him for his apartment key. First, he gives me a key that IS NOT his apartment key. After I point that out, he searches through all his bags and tries several keys on the apartment door until he declares that he hasn't seen his apartment key in months, and that he'd send it to me when he found it. I told him, "Don't worry about it. I'll just have the landlord change the locks." He gave me this weird look and said, "I don't think that's necessary." Um... what? I said, "No, I'm not letting someone who doesn't live here have a key."
The final kicker is that, now that he's moved out, he's applying for jobs. This is after almost a year of claiming that he couldn't work.
Am I the asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
9zC29LnhtlVGoVnn51qebJaaJyj71qvZ
|
ap2ebu
|
{
"description": "wanting to meet up with my friends at short notice",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting to meet up with my friends at short notice?
|
So yesterday afternoon I finished work around 5pm. Just as I was leaving work I received two text from my mates (who must have been speaking to each other at the same time) inviting me out for the evening.
At this point, my girlfriend and I had no plans, except for me to come home and we have dinner together. I text her to say I had been invited out and was thinking of going, to which she became unhappy stating, "I thought we were staying in tonight." To clarify, we had not made this a set plan, it was just that no other plans had come up.
While stopping to pick up dinner, I text her to explain how two weeks earlier, one of the same two friends had text asking if I was going out and at the time I responded no because I was staying in with my girlfriend for the evening. I included a screenshot of said conversation. I also explained that I didn't want to let my friend down again.
It came to a point where her last text was to say, "do what you want" with an emoji giving me the finger.
Then I came home, cooked dinner and we sat in silence for the evening.
AITA for wanting to see my friends? Please ask questions if you need further context.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
rD48Vin4hXQX6Xve4nsRXp0wSI2TrkIt
|
at9bha
|
{
"description": "backing out of a trip me and my brother had planned since last year",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for backing out of a trip me and my brother had planned since last year?
|
Throwaway in case he sees this. Sorry for the length and formatting.
​
Last year my brother suggested we go on a trip, just us two, to the UK. I was hesitant to accept since we've been known to easily get into petty fights since his temper is quite bad, though he tells me I do things that tick him off to make him even more pissed off at me. At this point though, we had a solid month or two without fighting (and we kept being civil to each other until a couple of weeks ago), so I agreed that we'd go on this trip together if he kept himself from getting angry at the drop of a hat. Should also be said that my brother easily gets stressed, which turns into anger that subsides quickly. I've learned to deal with this and we've talked it through so I know what I shouldn't do to anger him even more.
​
Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago, when the planning started in earnest. First came lots of arguments about when we both could take time off school/work and travel. When the date was decided (end of May), he took it upon himself to find the flights and a nice hotel, which was found quickly at a good price. We had the hotel and flights done and ready to pay for since the start of January, but my brother insisted on finding something better through a travel agency. I tell him we should book the tickets quickly, but due to Brexit, he didn't want to rush anything. I understood, but at the same time the hotel reservations could be cancelled without fee and there wasn't many seats left on the one flight we wanted to take that day. Nonetheless, he doesn't book anything, time goes by, and suddenly there are no tickets left to book on the flight. Finally I'm done with the back and forth (he had to drop looking for flights and such because of school, I took it upon myself to sort it all out) and tell him that I'm done with his skittish attitude, and either he books the flight or we don't go.
​
Yesterday, he tells me the flights are at double the price and the hotel we wanted is no longer an option. I tell him I'm done, and that I don't want to travel anywhere with him anymore. During the last three weeks, he had gotten more and more stressed, which turned into anger towards me. He tells me that I'm a prick for backing out. Initially, I didn't want to, but I don't feel comfortable booking a hotel and flight tickets at double the price when I know I can get it for cheaper, and he still didn't show any signs of actually purchasing the tickets anytime soon. I did want to go, and I feel like a complete asshole, but I've gotten migraines over his short temper these last couple of days and finally, I just felt like I had enough. Though I could potentially travel with him next year or late this year, we both have lots of things to do so it's not a sure thing that we'll have the time (which I guess he also realised). Basically, AITA for backing out this late?
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
szrFd5NgWrutFZy5jdDuISuSzf4yxxOB
|
a5et30
|
{
"description": "refusing to rekindle a stressful friendship",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For refusing to rekindle a stressful friendship?
|
This past week, one of my old friends that I dropped contact with 4 months ago texted me out of the blue saying that they missed me. Due to how our relationship had ended earlier this year I was slow to respond and careful with how I handled it as I do not want the stress involved with having them in my life especially during finals week. I very clearly expressed that I did not want to foster this friendship back into reality, however they continued to try and guilt trip me into it.
Now for a little more context this person has bipolar depression that they refuse to treat. Whenever they text me its either a very concerning conversation where I genuinely worry about them and what they might do, or they are incredibly happy and lovey with me even though they are already in a relationship and I have made it very clear that I do not want any kind of relationship, this is the same reason that our past friendship ended as they were trying to make unwanted sexual advances on me and I freaked out on them.
They past couple of days they texted me and I began to wonder if maybe I am the asshole in this case as this weeks conversations had been Michigan winter cold on my part. The conversations were along the lines of them asking for forgiveness for "Being weird and insecure" and my response asking if they were on their meds. When they responded no I shrugged this off as another mood swing they wanted to catch me in, and as I mentioned right now is a stressful time already with it being finals week among other things. Yesterday when they asked if they were to much to handle I was honest and straight up told them yes. Again they messaged me again today tried multiple times to try and guilt me into being friends promising me everything from just barely being in my life to being my life. After I refused again with the reasons given above. They responded that their going to try and get their "druggie" what I'm assuming friend or SO back. I told them to just make new friends and don't search for toxic ones. Am I the ass hole for not wanting to deal with them?
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "not going to my close friend's 23rd birthday party",
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|
AITA for not going to my close friend’s 23rd birthday party?
|
One of my close friends turned 23 recently and was having a birthday party at a pretty expensive restaurant. I told him I couldn’t go because it was the night before one of my most important finals and I was broke and couldn’t afford the food for this place. He also only told me about going 2 days before it was supposed to happen. Now I’m catching a lot of flack from him and the rest of my friend group for not being able to attend.
Also, I told him from the start that I wouldn’t be able to go. (I didn’t string him a long them bail at the last second)
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HISTORICAL
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"description": "reclining my seat on a 10 hour flight",
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"contranormative_score": 6
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AITA For reclining my seat on a 10 hour flight?
|
Sorry for mistakes, I’m on mobile. Feel free to correct any.
Ok so in short, I was on a 10 hour flight from Tokyo to Vancouver in economy class, I’m a average sized 5’9” 14 year old so I generally don’t take up a lot of space but it was a 10 hour flight and I just wanted to get some sleep.
As soon as the flight took off and the seat belt sign was switched off I reclined my seat back as everyone else was doing but as soon as I do, the guy behind kicked he seat! I immediately thought this guy tall ass man and needed some leg room so I recline forward. As dinner came, I reclined forward so I can enjoy my lasagna but when I’m done I recline back and he kicks again!
As the flight continues there is the occasional thump which was annoying and woke me up several times but I’m extremely shy and introverted so I let it go.
Whenever I get up to use the restroom this dude gave me the filthiest looks, almost as if I’m causing him extreme pain but then I notice, he doesn’t have his seat reclined at all and has his legs are together and pushed up against the seat he so he was almost giving himself no legroom! He could have just spread his les wider so they wouldn’t be touching the seat!
One time when I went to the bathroom, he somehow managed to get my seat back to its original position and for about 2 hours his legs were crossed so I couldn’t recline it even a centimetre. I eventually got it back when he left.
When the flight landed I realized I was almost the same height as this guy so I guess he didn’t need that legroom after all.
Any Reddit, AITA?
Just a note: I was not being obnoxious and had my seat back all the way, probably 30% of the way.
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HISTORICAL
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"description": "saying this during a debate with my partner",
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AITA for saying this during a debate with my partner...
|
My partner and I were watching a program where a man had an affair due to his wife having severe dementia. This brought us to the subject of, 'when is cheating excusable.'
I stated that if I ever entered a coma, after a couple of years, I would want him to move on with his life and find someone else. Same goes for if I ever became seriously mentally handicapped.
He on the other hand, perceives that as cheating. He stated that he would stay loyal to me for as long as I was alive.
So basically, now I feel like a dick knowing that if I'm ever in a coma for years and then recover, I will have him waiting for me, whereas if it was the other way round, I would probably be in another relationship and he would wake up alone.
So my question is... Is it selfish to expect someone to wait indefinitely for you in that situation, or should you want them to move forward in their life?
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "hanging out with my best friends while another friend asked me to avoid one of them",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for hanging out with my best friends while another friend asked me to avoid one of them?
|
A while back one of my close friends went through a bad break up and asked that I didn’t hang around her ex. I respected this as much as I could, but on occasion the ex would appear in the group. I never intentionally hung out with the ex and never acted as though I respected him or what he did. After I was with the ex my friend would be incredibly mad and I would have to apologize profusely for everything to be ok. Am I the asshole?
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "wanting to move out",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to move out?
|
I live in a dorm on campus and I chill with a few neighbors and my roommate (4F total). To be honest, I don’t really consider them true friends, but that’s because of past issues that I need to resolve. Anyway, we all decided to live on campus together next year in this great building: two bedrooms, two bathrooms, kitchen, on site mailbox, the works.
But I HATE living with my current roommate. I believe that I wouldn’t like her even if I didn’t live with her. She’s disgusting — lets her dirty gym clothes marinate on the floor, leaves our shared sink a mess despite me cleaning it EVERY night, has trash strewn over half the room (for some reason she gets the bigger half of the room??) seconds after she enters. She coughs and sneezes without covering her mouth because “she can’t help it.” She’s loud — always slamming the door shut, her walk is like a stomp in her clunky boots, her voice echoes when we’re walking together, inside and out, and then she just claims that it’s because she’s a “sociable person.” She’s rude — she interrupts people when they are talking (also the signs of a sociable person), she is such a know-it-all, especially on topics she knows nothing about (for instance, MY job), she jumps into conversations that do not include her at all, she speaks on the behalf of others who CAN speak, she believes that if something happened in her life then it automatically sets an example for everything else in the world (such as the lack of bullying in schools? Okay.). And she is so LAZY. She doesn’t help clean up unless I directly ask her, she doesn’t have a job because she is super picky about where she wants to work but complains about not having money (she claims to have applied to every position on campus but never got one, and didn’t do a single follow up). Then she cries because she feels like she is disappointing her family. And then she cries about not having a boyfriend. That’s not really lazy but you can all see why she DOES NOT have one. Basically she’s always dumping her problems on everyone else and frankly I don’t really care because they all have simple solutions.
And honestly, she’s just MEAN. She takes play fighting/teasing to a whole different level (throwing pencils and metal forks). And a bit racist.
Yet everyone expects me to share a room with her again next semester.
I can’t do it. Nope. I decided to get an apartment. BY MYSELF. I’m not risking ending up with another shit roommate. I’m willing to start working full time to avoid that. But everyone else in the group thinks that it’s just so I could have my own room (they know that I have never had my own bedroom) and that I’m being an asshole for not trying to stick it out. That I’m being an asshole because they have to risk getting shit roommates because it’s too expensive living with just two people (the other girl is joining the army, but no one thinks she’s doing wrong by “abandoning” us).
So what? AITA for letting them sink with the increased rent, or the possibility of getting terrible roommates, for my own means?
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "not giving a hungry man food",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not giving a hungry man food?
|
This happened a few weeks ago.
I'd just made a withdrawal at a shopping centre ATM and was about to walk away when a man standing nearby asked if I could spare any money as he had not eaten since the previous day. He did seem to be rather down on his luck, but seeing as how I only withdrew $20 and had no coins in my wallet I told him I didn't have any spare change. As I was walking away he calls out to me "buy me something?"
I didn't think much of it at first, but then it struck me that a guy who asks a stranger to buy him a meal is likely genuinely hungry. Glancing back I could see he wasn't at the ATM any longer, but I figured he was probably going to be somewhere in the general vicinity.
As it was almost closing time for the food court, several of the eateries were beginning to box up the day's leftovers and offering them for a discount. I happened by a kebab shop and grabbed a couple of chicken skewers and a slice of pizza in a takeaway container - it came to just under $10 for the lot. It didn't take long before I found the guy walking around, so I approached him and offered him the food. The conversation went like this:
Me: Here you go.
Him: What's this?
Me: Chicken skewers and some pizza.
Him: Oh.
*He glances at the container*
Him: I don't eat chicken.
Me: Well I do.
With that I abruptly about turned and started walking away. I heard him call out "Nah, wait" as I was walking away, but I didn't acknowledge him and kept walking.
Some points to take into consideration:
*The $20 I withdrew was supposed to cover my meals for the next two and a half days. Money that was supposed to get me enough baked beans, bread, eggs, and vegetables for at least four meals was instead used on greasy takeaway food that would only get me through that night. Hence my abrupt response when he told me he didn't eat chicken.
*In retrospect I suppose I could have sought out the man first and asked if he had any food preferences/dietary restrictions. While I hate choosing beggars as much as the next person, I acknowledge the fact that just because you're hard up doesn't mean you should get absolutely no say in what you eat.
*After some thought, it is also likely he wasn't in full control of his faculties when he said what he did. Maybe I should have given him the benefit of the doubt.
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "calling the police on an adult man and a presumably young girl",
"pronormative_score": 21,
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|
AITA for calling the police on an adult man and a presumably young girl?
|
I was at a coffee shop after work the other day. When I entered I noticed a guy, white, probably late 20s, scrawny, looked like the kind of person who works in IT and saves his money to fly to Thailand twice a year for "sightseeing" with a young Asian girl, she looked like 12 to 14 or so to me, slim, small body, looked like my niece who is 12, and a young looking face as well.
Didn't really think too much of it and I sat down a bit away from them, facing the same direction as the girl so I couldn't really see her perfectly. But I did notice that the guy seemed to do her like gently stroking her cheek and even leaning over to give her a kiss (not on the cheek). It made me sick and since I had recently read about underaged sex traffic victims from Asian countries I wondered whether this might be one of those scenarios.
So outside I decided to call the police and told them that I had seen an adult man making out with a young girl here. I waited across the street until they arrived. They got inside and since there were only few people inside they found them quickly. I could see them through the glass window. They talked to them shortly, then the girl talked, then she showed them what I presume was her ID, the policemen seemed somewhat apologetic and left. Afterwards it looked to me like the guy was consoling her.
I concluded that she probably must have been older and I misjudged her age. I debated whether I should go inside to apologize but I didn't really want to face them so I left.
I was acting out of genuine worry for the girl though. So am I wrong here? Does that make me an asshole?
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HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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{
"description": "not wanting the cat in the room while I sleep",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 1
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AITA for not wanting the cat in the room while I sleep?
|
This might not be as serious as others but I’d still like some advice.
Basically me and the Gf have a lovely 8 month old kitten who is a gem and is an amazing cat that we both love. That being said, he can get super energetic and become a little frenzied as well.
This was never really a problem till I made my first PC. Ever since then the cat has been obsessed with it and will always try to gnaw at the wires, jump on the case/keyboard and scratch at the monitor. I’ve tried putting orange peels and spraying him but it hasn’t worked and he has already broken the keyboard which is not
A big deal I just got a replacement one. However there was an instance where he jumped on the monitor and it fell off my desk, luckily it’s fine but I’ve been more wary since then.
The problem lies within the fact that my GF wants to keep him in the room while we sleep, but that also allows him to jump all over my desk and computer, and it’s very tiring to get up over and over again to take him off.
I’ve tried playing with him
Before bed to tire him out but sometimes
I’m too tired to do that too.
GF thinks I’m being mean for not letting him in the room and says he can get lonely and depressed if we don’t sleep with him. I just want to protect my computer but I don’t want to make my
Cat depressed. If I’m not being the asshole, how do I explain to her that I still love our cat but I just want to protect my stuff.?
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{
"description": "not wanting to be friends with my best friend who cheated on her husband and is now in an open relationship",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 8
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|
AITA for not wanting to be friends with my best friend who cheated on her husband and is now in an open relationship?
|
Long story short my best friend for the last 7 years has made some choices I don't agree with recently and I am distancing myself from her. Read on for details.
Last year around October she began cheating on her husband and they decided to take a "break" while still living together and see other people. I suggested marriage counseling to her but she claimed it was too expensive, even though her and her husband were both going out all the time. She saw a few different guys and found out in December she was pregnant. She said it was either her husband's or one other guy's. Her and the other guy weren't dating anymore but if it was his he would be involved. The plan was that no matter who the baby belonged to she would stay with her husband and they would raise the baby together.
She was going to do a paternity test at one point but said it was too expensive, then she found a cheaper option, got samples and submitted it I guess and found out the baby was her husband's supposedly. I haven't seen the results. So her and her husband had the baby and all seemed good. From my knowledge they were together and happy during the pregnancy.
I just found out about a month ago that for the last four months,since they have had the baby, they have been in an open relationship and seeing/sleeping with other people. I went to visit one weekend and it came out that this had been going on for awhile. Other people who are acquaintances with her knew this was going on, but I hadn't been told because she knew I wouldn't approve.
Since I found out I haven't contacted her but she has texted me maybe once and I replied. I decided that if she texts me or makes an effort I will reply, but I am not going to make an effort to maintain the friendship. I don't agree with their decision and can not see how this is good for their relationship as husband and wife or with their child. She is not on birth control but is supposedly "being careful" with all these other guys she is sleeping with. It's a train wreck waiting to happen and anything I say goes in one ear and out the other. I just don't see her as someone I can relate to or be friends with in the future. It's something that I just so strongly disagree with.
So, AITA for distancing myself and not wanting to be her friend?
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HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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{
"description": "cutting off my racist remark loving brother",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
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AITA for cutting off my racist remark loving brother?
|
Throwaway account for obvious reasons.
Context:
My family grew up very racist, sexist and religious. My parents hold these traits and my siblings adopted it too. For context I'm 28 and my brother is 27. Growing up I had all these beliefs too but over the last few years I decided that I don't want this hatred to be who I am and decided to change. Now my family casually throws around racist remarks like it's nothing. My brother has even gone so far as to drop the N bomb multiple times over voice chat in video games or whispers just to try to piss people off. For context he's say stuff like "Fuck you N****, you fucking suck and I hope you kill yourself" and so on.
At first I didn't really do anything about this because I always thought that's just the way they are. The more I changed however the more this bothered me. I'm no longer racist and to be honest the idea of being racist disgusts me these days, especially after reading about hate crimes like what's happened in new Zealand.
What happened:
Recently in discord my brother has been dropping the N bomb even more because I asked him to stop. He que'd his mic and just said the word over and over again for a full minute at least, since then I've asked him to stop at least another 5 times.
Yesterday I posted in our discord of family and friends (it's a pretty big discord 200+?) that I won't deal with this type of racism anymore and if he doesn't stop I'll simply be leaving. He responded with "I do what I want", so I left. In the process of doing so I ended up feeling pretty well and decided to message him saying that I'm actually not just leaving the discord, I'm done with him until he grows out of this. I think it's too toxic a mindset to be around, let alone my kids being around it in any way.
Now my siblings are telling me I should stop being stupid because that's just the way he is and he's never going to change. I think I have a reasonable request though. Over the last years I have started believing that just because you're family it doesn't mean you are exempt from consequences or being removed from my life. We play a lot of games together and are pretty excited for WoW Classic. We have a fun little lan party planned at my place and my family is telling me that I'm going to ruin this for everyone because now they have to choose and split and it's my choice that's making them do this.
AITA?
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "taking a lot of time to eat sweets",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
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|
AITA for taking a lot of time to eat sweets?
|
This is a lighter one, for a change.
Ok, so. I'm the one that always (say, 98% of the time) goes to the mall (that's right next door) to buy whatever little thing we need – like soda, toilet paper, pasta, whatever – and because of this, my dad lets me buy a little extra for everyone (e.g. a chocolate bar for me, a doritos for my brother, whatever). I usually get a Pringles for me, and my siblings' preferred snacks.
I'm not really a "sweet-tooth". I love sweets, sure, but I just *can't* eat much of it at once. So when I bring a sweet for me (say, a chocolate bar), I eat it over the course of a few days or so. Because of that, my siblings (and my mom agrees with them) keep saying that I only do this to flaunt on them that I still have something to snack on. I wouldn't really mind that since I know it's not true, but the problem is, sometimes they take and eat my sweets.
So, who's in the wrong here? Should I give up on sweet snacks just because I take my time to eat them?
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{
"description": "just wanting money",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for just wanting money.
|
This is gonna sound stupid but for a pretty long time I've wanted a htc vive. I brought it up and said i wanted it for Christmas. My Mom is doing that "I'm not sure if i can get you that but ill get something similar" am i the asshole for just wanting her to give me money so i can buy it myself.
This sounds so fucking whiney (because it is) but why make her buy something i wont use for 200 instead of giving me 200 so i can add my 300 that I already have. To me it just makes sense but idk if she is going to like that, because people generally like to give "gifts" and just handing over cash is generally looked down upon "at least in my pasty white af family"
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{
"description": "Asking Other Family Members not to buy my kid clothes",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
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|
AITA For Asking Other Family Members NOT to Buy My Kid Clothes?
|
My ex-husband’s family always wants to buy our son clothes and I have asked almost since birth not to do so because I am very selective about fabrics and styles. My son can’t wear a lot of synthetic fabrics otherwise his eczema flares up really bad, so I tend to buy organic or natural fabrics, I discovered this when he was a baby and have mostly stuck with it, he is now 4.
It seems like every upcoming holiday, I’ll get a text or phone call from my ex or his mother asking me what size my son is wearing because they want to buy him something. They don’t see him very often as we live on side of the country and they live on the other, so I know they want to know what he’s interested in and what he likes as a way of finding the perfect gift. I’ve always suggested a book or an educational age appropriate toy that may be better suited instead of clothing as an alternative gift. Most of the time this has worked in the past.
This morning, I got a text from my ex of a photo of a pair of pajamas that is a material that is 100% synthetic and huge no for our son because of his skin. My ex stated that his mom had bought them for our son and she was super excited about them. I texted back that while I thought they were great and I appreciated him thinking about our son, he wouldn’t wear them because of the material. I also gently reminded him that I have asked him numerous times to remind his family members to not buy clothes for him.
He blew up at me and said I was an “elitist snob who only wanted our kid in name brands” which isn’t true at all. We Old Navy, Target, & even Costco it up!
Long story short, AITA for doing this? And before anyone asks, I hold my side of the family accountable as well, they just have listened for the most part. We’ve had a few slip-ups and I just asked politely if they minded if I returned or exchanged.
I just don’t want my ex or his family wasting their money on items I will not dress him in, I think it’s wasteful, but I also feel like they purposely buy him clothes so I can continually look like the bad guy.
Thoughts?
|
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RIGHT
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aysn11
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{
"description": "not giving up my table for an elderly couple",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA if I didnt give up my table for an elderly couple?
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So today I was Disney Springs with my gf because she had a job interview at a retail shop (Uniqlo). I tagged along because we figured after her interview we can hit the parks( We have annual passes). While she was in the interview, I was sitting in an area with tables meant for people just to sit and relax. All the tables were taken with families but I managed to find an empty one and sat there.
A few minutes passed and this elderly man and his wife came up asked me if they could have my table so that they could rest their legs. He said they asked me because I was alone at my table and all the others were taken.
I said "Sir, I have to wait for here a little bit for someone and I told them I'd be waiting here so I don't really want to move but you and your wife are more than welcome to join me and sit in the other seats at the table."
He looked at me and said "My wife and I would really like some privacy and I think since you're young and can walk easier you should let us sit here"
I said "Sir I'm sorry I don't think it's fair that you feel you have the right to this table just because of your age but like I said I really don't mind you guys sitting here with me since the seats are empty."
We went back and forth for a few more remarks until eventually he said "Nevermind, clearly your parents didn't teach you to respect your elders." Then him and his wife left and walked away.
I feel kind of bad because I don't want them to not rest, but also they both seemed to be in fine condition and I don't think it's right for them to expect me to give up the table.
Am I the asshole?
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HISTORICAL
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{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
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OTHER
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{
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 0
}
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RIGHT
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