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wERNo9bRQQNtavc1jFe2TWWDtCZXrwep
|
b00e79
| null |
AITA Girl trouble and am I a psycho
|
I'm travelling in NZ as a backpacker. I was staying somewhere on the north island for 2 weeks, I met a girl there, she's lovely, we spend loads of time together, after a week I make a move, she reciprocates, we kiss and cuddle in bed etc but I'm leaving soon to go work in another part of the country because my money is running out. She's staying at the hostel after I go.
The day before I leave she tells me we should just be friends. Because I like her so much my brain interprets this as meaning she simply just doesn't want to commit to anything yet. I didn't interpret it to mean she didn't have feelings for me or that nothing would ever happen between us because I hated the thought of those things being true. I should have pressed for more information then. I didn't. My fault.
On the morning I leave we kiss. This reaffirms to me she feels something. We agree to meet up soon when she's got some money and just talk about it then and see where we go from there.
As soon as I leave everything changes. She never initiates contact online. Whenever I try to talk to her she barely says anything. I don't ask her why because I'm a coward and scared of the answer.
We meet up after 2 months like we agreed. She says she doesn't have any feelings for me at all. She says I'm not her type, that she doesn't want anything romantic or sexual in her life at all, that she might be a lesbian. I ask her why we got all loved up before. She says it's just because I made a move on her, like she didn't want it and couldn't say no and I just assaulted her, even though it was completely consensual at the time and she told me she liked me when it happened.
I've been in this other place for two months before we met up again, pining for her, unable to move on with my life, talking to her online. At no point during that 2 months did she tell me her lack of feelings. At the end of us meeting up again she says we can be friends. I decline, telling her it would be too painful for me, that I need to go no contact. She says she understands. We hug. I leave. I go no contact. I get over her.
4 months later we bump into each other at the same hostel on the south island. We say hi. We don't speak after that. I leave early because I feel sick, I can't eat or sleep.
The day after I leave I message her online. I say could I just ask a couple of questions about her general travel plans so we don't awkwardly bump into each other again, which was obviously uncomfortable for both of us. I know she sees the messages, won't respond. I wanted a 2 min convo for some peace of mind that this wouldn't happen again. She won't respond but she won't block me either. She just reads the messages and then does nothing.
I'm paranoid about accidentally staying in the same hostel as her again. I can't be around her in the same place, it kills me. AITA for messaging her again after 4 months of no contact? I feel like a bit of a psycho
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
vCP6lo1QuOMfQ8jFAuXwWVe2i7iZjtRk
|
afydsy
| null |
AITA Entitlement vs reality
|
A little info: At the time I was working 2 jobs, going to college, and renting a room when a hurricane hit my city.
Queue the story: so I throw some hints and the store was able to open I ended up spending too 200 my dollars going and getting kids: toys, canned foods, diapers etc I luckily at a discount store for which I worked so I was even able to afford to get some people blankets.
Our regulars came in tears and I hugged each one and talked to as many as I could. Inevitably some 30 year old lady came up to me trying to start a conversation. She said something along the lines of" oh, I'm so miserable I have to live an a hotel room my 6 bedroom house is gone. Oh and my husband is keeping all the money so I can barely spend on myself. I cant even get gas money for my cars."
I did genuinely feel bad but for her not too bad since many people had lost family, homes, cars, without electricity, and many had to relocate to homeless shelter so not too bad. I said I was sorry to hear that and kept working and being as nice as possible to the regulars whom wanted to chat or needed battery powered heaters and basic necessity. When she began having her own pity party . Following me around the store wallowing for 10 minutes. When she said this. "Ugh I am so poor I don't even know what to do. My life, my home and that stupid hotel. I told my husband we should have bought another house ." I was furious that this lady would keep on complaining and I stopped working made eye contact and told her " You know what lady, I understand your upset but at least you had the opportunity to live such a lavish life style. Some people don't every appreciate what they have while other wont ever even get that chance. " while I walked away she started crying in the middle of the aisle and complained to my manager. But he know how badly I had it and how I didn't even have electricity myself.
​
Am I the asshole? Bc I still feel bad.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
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|
WRONG
|
obEmHkylplgzwoyyVlZ6gm24ezkfLmjS
|
abipst
|
{
"description": "recently purchasing an investment property to rent out. my good friend and his family are living with me because they are between homes. I didn't tell him I bought this property nor did I offer it before renting to strangers",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA? I recently purchased an investment property to rent out. My good friend and his family are living with me because they are between homes. I didn't tell him i bought this property nor did i offer it before renting to strangers
|
I'm in my early 30s and my friend of over 10 yrs is 10 yrs my senior. The entire time I've know him he's had problems keeping a job. Mostly quiting due to child support catching up to him and garnishing his wages or just because he doesn't feel like working anymore.
One day he explains how he salty his landlord told them 3 days after paying rent that he wasn't renewing their lease and they basically had 30 days to leave. Hes like "well he gonna have to take us to court etc etc cause he didn't give us time" and all this other BS.
Long story short he asked if they could live with me till they find something. My first mind said fuck no, because if you were working you and your GF, who has 2 jobs, could afford to move in 30 days....but the good in me said ok.
In the meantime, I purchased a townhouse and didn't tell them. I've since rented it to strangers. AITA for not giving them an option to rent?
Also a little background on the GF..she's had the same job for yrs but is financially irresponsible. Has one daughter old enough to work and still relies on her parents to take her grocery shopping and put gas in her car at the age of 45.
Shes the type that has WiFi and cable but no car insurance even though she's been in multiple, car totaling accidents. The type that has a broken tooth and dental insurance but says she can't afford the copay to get the tooth pulled or remedied.
Also, they were supposed to be out of their place the end of October. Stayed through November and the landlord told them be out by 25th or I'm filling eviction papers. They stayed even though they already had the ok to live with me . Who gets an eviction on their records to be spiteful to someone else?
Lastly, when it was a possibility I would buy this home he'd said him and his GF would rent and I told him why I was uncomfortable with that option.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
NeeEGLa3UU5VSQbNMqXrTfxOOw61I2dW
|
9xd386
|
{
"description": "getting upset with my friends",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting upset with my friends? [warning: teen drama]
|
**TL;DR – My friends are whispering and giggling while looking directly at me but refuse to tell me anything when I ask what's so funny.**
_____________________________________________________
I'm 14F and as are the involved parties - Sally, Daisy, and Emily. This should probably explain why the situation is so petty and weird.
Essentially, my group of friends and I are navigating an awkward time right now. Sally was caught up in some sort of weird drama concerning one of our mutual friends, Sean (14M), developing a crush on her. Somehow, she found out (not sure how/why) and everything imploded. She and Daisy, who is involved for goodness knows what reason, because she won't tell me how exactly she got wrapped up in it. Emily is privy to this as she witnessed Sean admit this – otherwise, she says, she wouldn't be part of any of it.
Since last week, Sally and Daisy have been having whispered conversations and sharing knowing looks while in group settings. Later, I noticed that Sally seemed perturbed so I asked her if everything was okay since I was concerned, and she brushed me off with, "Nothing, nothing, it's fine."
I got extremely stressed; I have anxiety issues following an elementary school bully targeting me for something like 4 years and taking my friends by pulling them to the side and badmouthing me. The bully would often do this literally as I stood in front of her, so needless to say, whispered conversations make me panic. I mentioned this to them and they said, "Yeah, okay, we won't," but continued to do it. Now, Emily was one of my few friends in elementary, and she was a victim of this same bully, so she can corroborate this. However, Sally and Daisy are new to the school but have both dealt with similar exclusion-based bullying.
Sally pulled me aside one day after I had a minor panic attack in the middle of class and told me the thing about Sean. She said that she didn't feel comfortable and was embarrassed of telling me, which kinda stung because I've told her embarrassing secrets of many kinds – she knows my secret crush even after I was in denial about liking him, she knows which guys in the class like me, she knows all my triggers and weird anxiety tics, etc. And she's told me many a secret herself, so I was confused as to why Sally didn't divulge this one until she informed me that Sean asked her and Daisy to keep it to themselves. I was okay after and guilty because I knew something I shouldn't have and forced her to tell me. I believe I'm the asshole in this situation.
The next day, however, she and Daisy were having whispered conversations again, but they were giggling and looking at me as they spoke. If they'd been serious I wouldn't have minded since I knew it was personal and didn't want to get caught in the mess. I asked what the joke was, and Sally immediately arranged her features into an expressionless board, but when she thought I looked away she and Daisy grinned at each other. I quelled my own fears by reminding myself that they were my *friends*, not my enemies. But they did this over and over and over throughout the day to the point where I had another panic attack and asked them what was so funny. Again: "Nothing, it's not about you, it's nothing!" She was cold and distant the rest of the day, but normal with Emily and Daisy.
Later on that same day, Sally was shifting her laptop screen away from me and casting furtive glances my way while showing Emily and Daisy something that they both found humorous. When she turned it back my way, I saw something written on her screen: "the girls are not getting along, spread the word." Keep in mind that she'd avoided me all day long, as had Daisy.
I nearly jumped out of my skin. She saw my face and quickly said, "It's not about us! It's the kids below us." But Sally's a bad liar, and she looked incredibly shifty and guilty as she told me this. So again, I had a panic attack but shifted my attention to another friend beside me.
Later that evening, I was bombarded with all manner of texts and phone calls from Sally and Daisy, but I was hurt so I didn't answer. I needed time and space before I could deal with this. Another close friend, Anna (14F) intervened and said there'd been a miscommunication and made me talk to them because we were best friends. We all video called, and Daisy refused to show her face, instead choosing to send messages through Sally, who read the texts aloud. Daisy claimed that she had avoided me when I had ignored her earlier that day when she informed me it was her friend's death anniversary. I was shocked as I did not remember her saying a word to me besides "Hey," "What's up," and "Cool," because she was busy walking ahead of me and shooting sneers at me the moment I walked into class. She was also slightly better towards the end of the day, and she's confirmed to be a huge liar - she's previously lied about having met one of the girls that bullied Emily and I, but when the same girl reached out to me randomly, she didn't recall meeting or even knowing of Daisy despite the fact that their ostensible meeting had taken place less than two days ago.
After the call, I assumed it would all be okay. However, when I went to school the next day, Sally literally refused to look at or speak to me, despite us having hashed it out and agreeing to talk about it later at school. I guessed she needed space so I left her alone until the time came for us to discuss it further. When we did, she got super defensive and claimed to have told me she didn't want to talk about it when all she did was brief me on the basics and tell me she'd been too embarrassed to talk about it. I addressed the "girls are not getting along" thing and she said in this extremely snappy voice, "That was never about you, I told you it was about the girls below us!" And when Emily spoke up and asked her to talk to me properly as she felt I was being excluded, Sally just looked daggers at her but agreed. So I asked about the giggling whispers, the shifted screens, the avoidance, etc. Neither she nor Daisy had any explanations but they did exchange several, overt annoyed glances. They then didn't deign to *look* at me, but Emily was being nice as per usual. They're not talking to me and whenever I would message on the group chat, they'd never reply despite being online. It's been two days and they're still not speaking to me. They continue to whisper and sneer and Emily is still pleasant.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
H5vmYoFld5PiuYn7F7RNKBvFekBGtCOT
|
b7g6u6
|
{
"description": "dumping several pounds of dogshit on my neighbor's lawn",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for dumping several pounds of dogshit on my neighbor's lawn?
|
Our neighbor's been letting his dogs shit on our front lawn for probably a good while now, at least enough for several pounds of it to be there. (The reason it's accumulated to this point is because the snow's only just now melted enough for us to see it all, we haven't just been keeping them there on purpose) We haven't caught him in the act, but another neighbor has, and all of it is just on the side of our lawn close to his so it's beyond a reasonable doubt that its his dogs.
Today I cleaned it up and, instead of tying the bag off and throwing it in the trash, I dumped it on his lawn. Frankly, I don't care about any harm I've done to him as much as the potential headaches this might cause for my family. But still: am I the asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
DBzjcqb3vNTbi97RO3HuvtTGbruoU2YA
|
arm8w6
| null |
AITA because my client doesn't understand that I'm not legally qualified to do certain things?
|
Little background: I work for a real estate company as an admin, full time. I asked my boss for a raise, she refused, so I started offering my services to local realtors. Things I do: inputting listings on our MLS, building & updating websites, managing their agent portals, social media marketing, creating flyers for properties, taking real estate photos, managing Dotloop.
​
I recently got a client who asks me to do things I'm legally not qualified to do. Things like sending contracts to clients, explaining legalities of listing agreements, inputting bids on HUD properties (super complicated), etc. She actually wants me to handle ALL her real estate deals, from start to finish. Very intimidating and very complicated as she could have 30 deals up in the air at any moment. This particular client owns and manages 35 rental properties in the area, owns several businesses and is also a full time agent. She's extremely busy, and I get that, but so am I. I already have a full time job and I have another very important client.
​
I've tried to explain to her that I'm not an agent, I'm not qualified to do these things and I 100% do not understand them. She takes this personally and lashes out, saying that I'm leaving her high and dry, etc. In the end, I normally reach out to another admin who is a friend, and she tells me how to do these things, but I feel terrible for bothering her on her days off so often.
​
I would get my real estate license but at my full time job, I'm not legally allowed to hold a license. I would be fired for doing so, even though it would help me significantly.
​
Am I the asshole if I drop her as a client? I'll take a hit financially but I can't deal with the stress. Am I being a baby?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
JUFVCj2vUmpw4IL9jjuDEJ4ow5ZN2uJN
|
aqvhvh
|
{
"description": "refusing to be in a relationship with a girl I met on tinder",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for refusing to be in a relationship with a girl i met on tinder
|
Hello there first time poster here.
So the situation goes like this, I met a girl on tinder, we talked, exchanged number the whole shebang. She told me before hooking up that she was looking for more of a relationship to which I responded with I'm not sure I do let's just see where it goes.
We hooked up a few times and after the 4th time she told me that she wasn't doing this anymore that I had to give her and answer. Honestly I didn't want, she's great and all I'm just not ready to commit my time so I told her that. She promptly flipped her shit told me I'm an asshole and more then left. She blocked me from social media and her phone but I didn't give it much thought until now after a week when my friend told me I was an a hole for leading her on.
So was I an asshole? I don't think I lead hear on since I made my intentions clear and this was the third time we saw each other
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
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|
WRONG
|
l3sPpCZAiT0g0WEdROOnU7W6eHN19ou8
|
b68rvr
|
{
"description": "trying to get a few homeless guys with REALLY bad odor kicked out of starbucks",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 15
}
|
AITA for trying to get a few homeless guys with REALLY bad odor kicked out of Starbucks?
|
Alright, my co-worker and I really disagree on this. I was traveling for work recently and decided to go to Starbucks before a meeting. Unfortunately, the city must have a lenient policy for homeless folks camping out at coffee shops.
When I went in, I was overwhelmed by the odor coming from a few homeless guys who’ve camped out at a booth. Two of them must have panhandled to get enough money for a couple cups of drip coffee. They were sitting in the booth with no intention of leaving, and one guy was even fast asleep. They reeked really badly, like they were showering in their own urine for the past decade or something. All the other customers hurried past these guys and no one wanted to sit in the store because the stench was so awful. And the baristas didn’t say a word to these guys.
After I left, I called the store to speak to the store manager. I complained about the mistreatment of other customers by subjecting us to the reek from these homeless guys. I also told her it’s abusive to the baristas because they can’t leave and are subjected to poor working conditions due to the toxic plume emanating these homeless coffee shop campers. The manager promised she’ll look into it, even though I’m sure she won’t. To hold her accountable, I told her I’ll be back soon for another work trip and hope she will have taken the appropriate steps to address this problem. I also told her I’ll leave a Yelp review with everything I’ve discussed with her, and post a follow-up review when I return.
I told my co-worker this who disagreed with me. She said I should have left those guys alone because they probably needed temporary shelter from the elements or it wasn’t safe for them to sleep on the streets. I told her what they needed was probably homeless shelter services, mental health and substance abuse providers, legal aid, and a whole bunch of social services - but Starbucks isn’t one of them. I’ve been to spin classes where the instructor would remind people to wear deodorants and speak with people with bad BO. We shouldn’t excuse or tolerate bad BO at a Starbucks simply because these guys happen to be homeless. I mean, really.
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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|
WRONG
|
Ma5xVTTtgcg12zhII93Fa63z0qoDH2X7
|
aqy9hn
|
{
"description": "not taking back my depressed ex boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For not taking back my depressed ex boyfriend
|
My boyfriend and I were together for about 5 months when out of nowhere he started constantly giving me dirty looks and calling me all the horrible names under the sun, cunt, bitch, dick, you get the gist. Because I have a history of abuse I am extremely non confrontational and so said nothing, just waiting for him to break up with me. Eventually, he does, and I'm far far happier and carry on with my life not really missing him. About a month later I get a text at 3am saying "so we back together now?". I was confused and slightly frustrated. I said no. Big mistake, apparently. He said that everything he'd done in the last week of us being together was because of his depression and his extremely mild autism. I still said no. I said that if he is going to treat me the way he did that he needs to understand that I will not just accept his apology and get back with him. (Note: just realised he never actually apologized for anything). Because of this, he gets mad, and I mean MAD. He, once again, calls me every name under the sun, tries to turn my friends against me through blackmail, and tries to physically injure one of the friends that tries to defend me. Now, the thing is, we pretty much have all the same friends, so it is a little awkward. He hurts no one but himself, and, realising that he has lost, plays the victim card. I am apparently a manipulative whore who drove him to almost commit suicide and I can kill myself because I don't deserve any of what I have. Because I said no.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
jTwgCaudyMjEtZG8Wg2GuevJ6y78bWYe
|
b5f2z3
|
{
"description": "not asking my gf if she's ok",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not asking my GF if she’s ok?
|
Throwaway account. Apologies for format since I’m also on mobile.
Me and my GF have had a dog for the past year and a half. Last year I took him for all his medical visits but it was always a pain to get things done since my free time is so limited due to work (I’m gone from 7am to 6:30pm). I took him to our vet here in our area which always went fine imo. Last year she was concerned he had kettle cough (couldn’t since he had his vaccinations, but she didn’t know at the time) and called a veterinarian that was 17 miles away. Since they gave her sound advice on how to deal with it instead of asking her to come in and spend money, she prefers we send our dog there since “they’re not doing it for the money.” It’s out of the way tbh but who can argue with that logic?
Fast forward this past week and our dog has been overdue to be vaccinated. She agrees to take him herself to the vet that is far from us. I originally set the appointment for today at 6pm. Just yesterday she tells me that’s too late for her. I called the vet this morning and managed to get it moved.
This morning I tell her that I nabbed a spot at 3:30pm instead of the 3pm as she wanted. The conversation goes as is with her replying:
“I can’t I’m going to see a doctor myself first”
“You just made the appointment?”
“No. It’s a walk in. Did you read what I fucking said? Christ. I tell you I’m in need of a doctor and you’re talking about an appointment. Forget I said anything.”
“The reason I’m asking is because my next question would’ve been, why didn’t you tell me? I could’ve scheduled the baby’s appointment to another day. Imagine if had said nothing, obviously I would’ve.”
“Just disregard that my ear is dripping fluid and I got a bulge in my throat.”
In her defense, she has been sick for the past two weeks. Just last week I told her to see the doctor, even as going as far as trying to make her an account for her health insurance so she can see providers in our area. Unfortunately I couldn’t, but I did tell her to call the number on the back of the card. Her insurance has also been acting funny according to her.
“I’m not mad that you’re going. If anything, yeah, please go take care of that.”
“You know what I don’t need your shitty support .”
“Just a notice would’ve been nice.”
It all boiled down to the fact that instead of asking her is she’s ok as soon as she told me she was going to the doctor, I instead asked about the appointment. As soon as I asked her she had gotten off the phone with the doctor telling her to come in immediately after she was freaking out about fluid coming out of her ear. I did tell her I thought you made an appointment for a check up since all she didn’t give much detail initially.
She says “I can’t fucking give you a notice if I’m panicking that there’s shit coming out of my ear. Didn’t fucking think of a stupid notice.”
AITA for not asking her immediately if she’s ok when she told me she’s going to the doctor’s?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
27dyg3iUg6RH58KFzMaS8TmjUroz41wG
|
ad1aif
|
{
"description": "attempting to control my sister's eating habits",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for attempting to control my sister's eating habits?
|
Throwaway because said sister follows my main.
My sister has a poor body image due to strict upbringing, her BMI is in the healthy range but she skips regular meals a lot, especially after eating snacks in order to “compensate” for the consumed calories.
I try to get her to stop eating junk food whenever she does so she wouldn’t feel guilty and skip meals afterwards, but she would get upset and claim I’m fat shaming her. She thinks people stopping her from occasionally indulging (like my parents and I) is why she has body image issues. Because of how often her feelings on her body image fluctuates, she thinks I should just support her and let her eat whatever she wants whenever she feels like it.
This has been ongoing for the majority of her high school and college years. Again, she doesn't think she has a disorder since she's just watching her calorie intake. AITA for policing her and making a girl with self esteem problems already feel like crap? She has no health problems right now but I'm worried about this lifestyle turning a bigger problem in the future.
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
|
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|
WRONG
|
3N51csIP87msvY071OZnoxkFCwQEf7eM
|
b5pek5
|
{
"description": "gifting my great grandfather's Congressional Medal of Honor to a museum vs. giving it to my cousin",
"pronormative_score": 233,
"contranormative_score": 30
}
|
AITA for gifting my great grandfather's Congressional Medal of Honor to a museum vs. giving it to my cousin?
|
Background: my great grandfather was a Colonel in the marines during WWII and Korea and beyond. When he was enlisted in WWII he recieved the Congressional Medal of Honor during the battle of Iwo Jima. Care of the actual medal and most of his stuff has fallen to me.
My younger 2nd cousin (now 12) loves military stuff. When he was younger I allowed him to play with my grandpas flight helmet (grandpa became a fighter pilot between WWII and Korea) and he destroyed it. Part of it was my fault but also certainly my cousin's (his mom) as well because she didn't abide by my terms when I agreed to let him borrow it.
Early last year my 2nd cousin started asking for all of grandpas uniforms and medals. I initially sort of deflected but he got more and more demanding and I was so annoyed I decided I just didn't want to deal with it anymore and I donated everything to my grandpa's hometowns hall of honor. They were thrilled with the donation and are in the process of creating a permanent display featuring the Medal of Honor, his uniforms and flight suits. I figure it's a much better use then all the stuff being in my closet.
Family to a person is pissed at me. They think it all should have stayed in the family and that I was a jerk to assume my 2nd cousin woukd have treated the stuff the same at 12 as he did the flight helmet when he was 6.
I honestly don't know, am I the asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
VLCl3sCYtyzY3fCtBbaDNFUoe8vunFxl
|
atofug
|
{
"description": "letting a girl who's not my girlfriend sleep in my bed",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 15
}
|
AITA for letting a girl who’s not my girlfriend sleep in my bed..
|
Long story short. I get home from a night out and one of my housemates has put one of her friends in my bed for the night, not knowing if I was coming home or not.
I get home, get into bed, we chat for a bit then go to sleep.
Wake up the next morning to both my other housemates telling me they are going to tell my girlfriend, because they suspect we must have had sex, even though nothing happened.. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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EVERYBODY
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|
WRONG
|
TzvITnjw1TI5MmtZnJh4FpTPxC9YG83h
|
agilz2
| null |
AITA for this? The sign said ‘looking to make an honest buck’
|
The other night around 2300 a panhandler caught my attention, he held a sponge and towel in one hand while holding the sign in the other.
Note that I’m not supportive of panhandling in general and likely wouldn’t of donated regardless, but because at first it led me to be supportive of him and his situation, I felt that what this guy was doing was absolutely insulting.
On paper, it might pass as a honest gig. But after I saw the truck in front of me offering money to the man without trying to get the service in return, it was clear to me that the man was running a scam. He didn’t do any honest work yet got paid because he offered it.
The service was as useless as having someone to wipe your mouth for you, and yet was more likely much more lucrative a gig.
Maybe this was an aberration and he had actually been fulfilling the service for others. But I feel he fully intended to do one thing while making others think it was something else, and deserved absolutely nothing.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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|
WRONG
|
HygT1F0fs93p3eALlBvk7KORjpQWI74Z
|
b7jinq
|
{
"description": "exposing my best friend to her parents",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for exposing my best friend to her parents
|
I don’t know why it’s taken me so long to post on this sub-reddit.
My best former friend of 22 years had gotten pretty heavily into drugs. One of her friends (and dealer) had just OD’d and died about a month before me coming clean to her family. Up until this point in university she had done drugs since high school and had used LSD, ACID, Mushrooms, MDMA, weed, cocaine and some other hallucinogens. I never shared her secret because she meant and still means the whole world to me. I loved her, she was my sister. I would do anything for her. I was always there for her when she would have a bad episode after using MDMA and would be crying about her emotionally abusive boyfriend. I was there all the time despite being so overwhelmed by my own life.
I was never afraid for her safety, I believed she had good judgement and she was smart. She was active and university and active in student groups.
This trust I had all started to crumble after her friend died. She encouraged him to use that night, and they used the same drugs. The next day he didn’t wake up and was found on the floor of his room with foam in his mouth. AFTER this event she visited home and was so visibly shaken and messed up even my dad noticed something was wrong.
I made her PROMISE not to use drugs for a week so she could recalibrate. She didn’t listen at all. The straw that broke my back was when she told me she wanted to smoke heroin because she heard it is less addicting and her *now deceased friend* used heroin and said it was safe. I fell physically ill and was just crying all night literally afraid she was going to die.
I started the “truth telling” by telling my own parents first. My dad then went to speak to her mom because it was too hard for me. Then her parents came to the house and I explained everything.
Once she found out I had told them she called me the next day screaming and telling me to tell them it was not a big deal and she was fine. She proceeded to tell her mom she only bought drugs from *deceased friend* because he knew how to use drugs safely and trusted him (friend that OD’d). This was her entire argument: I use drugs safely. After that day she hadn’t spoken to me. It’s been 3 years. I think about her every single day. So many times I wanted to share moments in my life with her but couldn’t because I have been blocked on all social media.
You have to understand that I kept it all a secret for 8 years. I never shared with anyone anything at all.
The only reason I said ANYTHING was because I truly believed she was going to die, just like her friend.
It hurts to think she doesn’t care about me at all, or know me at all to think I did this out of spite. I wish I just meant a bit more.
I guess after 3 years I’m still dealing closure, I regret trying to save her or help her. I feel I made a mistake.
I just want to know did I do the right thing? Or AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
MB2nohInFb4vpHH60Lviypb9Fs0ghaFU
|
a1m1kr
|
{
"description": "telling a possibly autistic guy at school to shut up",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling a possibly autistic guy at school to shut up.
|
There is a kid in my law class that is incredibly disruptive and goes on irrelevant tangents all the time. The teacher is awesome and she has way to much experience to be working at a CC but she enjoys helping kids out. Anyway this douchlord that sits in front of me never shuts the fuck up. He is always derailing the conversation, talks even when it's not our turn to talk as students, doesn't get the hint no one else is interested, rambles and derails the class for minutes on end. The teacher has hinted at him to stop gently several times but he just doesn't get the hint, which leads me to think he is either oblivious, doesn't care and just likes hearing himself talk or is autistic.
​
Yesterday he was going off on another rant and the teacher corrected him, he got snobby and said he would google it. So he got out his phone and googled a situational situation and gloated about how he was right. He didn't understand that the teacher was correct (not only because of her law degree and decades in the field but because it is situational and he searched for bias results).
​
I finally snapped and told him to "shut up you're just a kid at a community college, she has a law degree and worked for the state for over 30 years. She knows more about this then anyone else in the room, if you weren't so busy trying to hear yourself speak you might actually learn something". The teacher told us to calm down and she moved the class on, admittedly a little awkwardly. After class she told me she appreciated the gesture but that I should try to be more understanding of opposing opinions. I asked her if he was autistic and she said she wasn't 100% sure but she suspected he was.
​
Now I feel a little bad about it because if he couldn't take social cues it wasn't really his fault and I basically embarrassed him front of the class and belittled him. My friend that was in the class also told me I was to harsh on him even though she agrees that he is obnoxious and disruptive.
​
Should I apologize or would that just encourage him in the future? This happened a few days ago and he has been a lot more reserved. Honestly I'm really enjoying the silence.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
m9gJFDywctIhHjsSVMm1wAQ7fZNwlyNr
|
b9n8pe
|
{
"description": "reporting my ex for selling mushrooms",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
Aita for reporting my ex for selling mushrooms?
|
I (f23) just reported my ex(m21) for using and selling mushrooms. We broke up a year ago and have a child. He does not pay support and owes me thousands in backpay. He recently moved hours away without telling me, leaving me solely responsible for our son. I found out hes been selling mushrooms and using them almost every day for the past few months. We recently got into a fight and he got physically violent with me, again. That was the first time I called the police and I actually ended up being arrested for disorderly conduct(his and his girlfriend's word vs. Mine)
Honestly, I probably wouldnt have reported him if we were on good terms. But they have basically taken over his life and he does absolutely nothing for our son and doesnt even ask about him. I'm honestly just worried that hes not going to be able to pay his child support (300/month) which I need as I am a single mother and I'm really struggling to keep the bills paid and get my vehicle fixed. He has a clean record so I feel kind of bad that a charge like this could essentially ruin his life, but I let him get away with alot of shit and hes really screwed me over. Am I a vengeful bitch or did I do the right thing?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
ZWdPkpxHdSwCx35dZPQuVRZRAkxWJc5C
|
9wddjf
|
{
"description": "telling my friends girlfriend that he smokes weed",
"pronormative_score": 28,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA For telling my friends girlfriend that he smokes weed
|
A while ago i made a joke about my friend in front of his girlfriend about the fact he smoked. It's not legal where we live and his girlfriend does not like it. I didn't know that she was agaisnt him smoking and that he had been lying to her about it. She initially became angry at me saying I was lying and that he doesn't smoke. Today she came up to me and apologised saying I was right.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 28,
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|
OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
6Xm3KXUJH59D5sbhokmEKml2mjTTQK9L
|
aozc80
|
{
"description": "expecting the payment for a friend's wedding",
"pronormative_score": 18,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for expecting the payment for a friend's wedding?
|
First of all, i was told there was a wedding and if id like to be a best man. Days later I got a call saying itll only be for family so nvm on the invite. Then a few more days come by and was asked if I can be the wedding photographer. Yeah it was okay that i wasnt gonna be a best man because he had other friends he knew from childhood. No big deal, but still kinda felt a way. So i think yeah sure. I was iffy since i went from being invited to being asked to be the photographer. He offered $100 (i dont do weddings nor do any gigs, just hobby. But I'm pretty decent) and I agreed. I know i should have offered to do it for free as a gift but it was a job. I was there for a reason and not to be guest just casually taking pics. Fast forward to now. I got a thank you from him and no mention of the money. I already promised someone close to me the money i was gonna make and not sure what to tell them. I had a good 350 pics edited out of 1000 that took me a while since my computer has 8gb ram. Plenty of hours lost in troubleshooting and forgetting how to edit properly. So am I the asshole for expecting at least a little bit of it? Idk if I wanna ask him about the payment, i might seem like an asshole. Looks like he's expecting it to be free.
TLDR; Did a wedding shoot for money but payment is unsure after the fact. Want to know if i should ask for the money or am i an asshole for wanting to know if ill be paid for it
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
NXEn3nQ2yYYO2sGDRuI3pAe8F5Iq3b2D
|
ayrj58
|
{
"description": "telling my sister I won't go grocery shopping for her if she doesn't pay the $25 I've asked to be repaid out of the $60 I actually spent on groceries for her",
"pronormative_score": 21,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I tell my sister I won’t go grocery shopping for her if she doesn’t pay the $25 I’ve asked to be repaid out of the $60 I actually spent on groceries for her?
|
My sister cannot do her own grocery shopping because she’s bariatric and, though she can walk and has been going into small stores for herself, she cannot handle walking through a big store (e.g. Walmart, WinCo, etc...). And she won’t use the scootie carts because she thinks she’ll end up on people of Walmart.
So every month, when she gets her food stamps, I go and do her grocery shopping for her. I do smaller “Walmart runs” for her throughout the month, too, as well as getting her meds from the pharmacy since you have to go inside.
Last month, she had no money for groceries because their February disbursement came early due to the gov shutdown, and she asked if I could lend her $20 for groceries. I said how about $40 and she can just pay me back half? She said great! Well, when we got to the store, she handed me the shopping list and I knew it was going well above $40. I told her that, but she said she didn’t think so and she needed everything on the list (it was all staples like tortillas, beans (bro in law is Mexican), sugar, bread, coffee, etc...). I said okay, I’d try to squeeze everything in if I go generic on everything. She said that’s fine.
Well, I only made it halfway through the list when I hit the $40 limit. She still had a lot left, so I thought fuck it, I know they need it, so I’ll go ahead and get the rest. I ended up spending almost $20 extra (total came to $57.86). When I got to the car, I handed her the receipt and told her it went over the budget by about $20. I said if she can pay me back $25 when she can then I’ll call it good.
That was over a month ago and I haven’t seen the $25 dollars. Normally I’d be like oh well, I’m never going to see it again. The only reason I’m not willing to let this go is she spends at least $30/week on cigarettes and I’ve went with her to the dispensary a few times since where she’s spent $20-$30 each trip. I know they don’t have any “extra” money to be able to pay me back, but the way I see it, if she can afford that much in smokes and weed, she can pay me back that $25.
So I’ve been thinking about saying, “I won’t do your grocery shopping next month if you don’t repay that $25.” I feel really bad and know it will cause drama, but I’m flat broke (ft college student living on financial aid) and that’s a week of groceries and a box of litter for my cat and I could really use it.
WIBTA??
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
aYEdNi8Uc7Rrxs0mQxHUn7Atr0vPk0I2
|
b86ihv
|
{
"description": "not changing my wedding to accommodate my sister",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not changing my wedding to accommodate my sister?
|
Backstory- First, I come from a place where engagements are fairly short, so about 5 months or less normally. Second, my brother, my sister, and I are all engaged. My brother is getting married at the end of April, and my sister is getting married the week following. I’m getting married in May.
After my sister gets married she is going to X country with her husband who’s doing summer sales.
When FH and I got engaged, we told our parents which day we were planning on. FILs said that was fine for them and are excited. My mom was willing to work around her schedule and travel across the world, and my dad and step-mom (SM) said, “if you’re sure, then we’ll plan for that day”.
SM said that she and dad wanted to pay for the reception venue, part of the photos, decorations, flowers, and the reception food. I told them that I would be happy having the reception in our church, which would be free, and that FH and I could pay for other things and be thrifty to cut down on costs (I don’t want anything over the top; a wedding doesnt have to be expensive for it to be nice). SM said that they were doing it for the other kids, so they were going to do it for me too. She booked the venue.
Fast forward 2 weeks to when I book the church for the ceremony. I texted everyone to tell them what time and day I had booked it for, which was the agreed upon day in May. I didn’t get much response from SM and Dad except for an “ok”. 9 hours after I had sent the first text, I get a text asking me if I could change our wedding day.
SM told me she wasn’t sure Dad could get the days off (he had already said he would), so I texted him to confirm that he would be able to get our wedding day off. He said of course, I told SM who then said “you didn’t consult with us on the date, and we have two other weddings in April plus a grad in June. You should move the wedding back to June because it would be better for us. Since you didn’t consult with us, your sister can’t be at the wedding. If you move your wedding she’d be there.” I told SM that we had consulted with them, and that if they were going to struggle with the costs of the wedding, we would move to the FREE church, and we would pay for the decorations ourselves, and FILs were ok with paying for flowers and reception food. She refused.
SM said that it was unfair to our extended family who HAVE /s to buy gifts for us because all our weddings are close together. Most of the things on our registry are around $20 or less with a few bigger things around $50.
In the end we decided not to change our date, and that has caused tension between my parents and us. I’m curious as to whether IATA in this situation or not, because I think about it a lot. Thanks.
Tl;dr
My dad and Stepmom approved our wedding date, but when I booked the ceremony venue I was told I needed to change it because of sister and other family issues. We decided not to change our date and I am now wondering AITA
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
nmHTDukN9J2TspBNndYdcg0qpSDc3Eev
|
b7kj7w
|
{
"description": "not standing up for my boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
Aita for not standing up for my boyfriend
|
Ok so i have been with my SO for years. We were chillen at a house party when BIL and his girl are being obnoxiously affectionate (ass grabbind,kissing ect). I tend to ignor that because i just find it weird to do infornt of people.
So we sat down to watch the game, everyone's buzzed and full when SIL taps my shoulder. "Hey are you guys together"
Me-Of course I am why?
SIL "Well it seems like you guys are just friends like you guys are together for like other reasons so she's like you guys don't seem like lovers you guys seem more like gay friends who live together to tell people to not hit on you guys."
I'm already buzzed and I just started laughing "like what do you mean why would you think that?"
SIL- well you guys are so unaffectionate. I've never even seen you guys hold hands,no kisses or anything? like how can you say you love each other?
I was gone laughing "okay yeah I guess we're in gay and lesbian lovers. " I can't make it fun of the statement and laughing elaborating saying we must never touch each other and must have never hold hands it's so inappropriate for roommates.
SO look back at me and BIL looks very awkward/ slightly embarrassed.
BIL chimed in saying SO never been the kind of person who shows a lot of affection in public it's just not something that he does. I can see that my Asos visibly upset but I couldn't take it seriously at the moment because in my mind she had to be joking. Couldn't be a serious statement just because you don't see someone's sexual behaviors doesn't mean they don't love somebody.
When we git home SO confronting me. saying he couldn't believe what happened and it was very offensive. But I told him that there was no reason for him to worry about that that other people's opinions don't really matter and we know what we mean to each other.
I told my best friend about it and she got mad at me for saying that I should have stood up for him and our relationship but I really can't see it as a serious moment. Am i in the wrong?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
Ln8TAVHyeBg8OOpUj9ZKcPcFmCwM1aUi
|
aycwnh
|
{
"description": "asking a close friend out that is part of a close friends group we built where we thought that no one will have feelings for each other",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for asking a close friend out that is part of a close friends group we built where we thought that no one will have feelings for each other
|
So I go some really good friends at my school which I introduced to each other and since then we did much stuff together. I'm the only boy in that group and we all can talk to each other in a "bestfriend" ethic so nothing gets awkward.
well I started to get feelings for one of these friends and I talked to another inside that group about it and she said if I asked her out it wouldn't be that bad because she thinks that we're mature enough to handle it great even when she didn't had the feelings I had for her.
well now I asked her out and it didn't surprised me that she said she hadn't the same feelings for me. it didn't hit that hard but I really think maybe I did screw things up. the others don't know I asked her out and I don't think it would make it better if they do. (or what do you think?)
well now as dumb as it's sounds I feel bad for it. I think I should've just hide my feelings until they fade or something because maybe it won't get to the point of comfortableness(?) it was before and I'm blaming myself for that.
although I have a reason why I said it to her. this isn't the first "only girl besides me" and most of the time I started to have feelings for one of them and every time I wasn't able to hide it good and they found out in the end.
maybe it is a shitpost but I'm really in a crisis right now and can't find a way out. I just want to know if it was the right thing to do or not.
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
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NOBODY
|
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RIGHT
|
FgS1uKzw9xpPCjMqhctOLFjPBrCKwWuS
|
9yuu15
|
{
"description": "breaking up with my girlfriend because Im not ready for a relationship",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for breaking up with my girlfriend because im not ready for a relationship
|
I'm a teenager so sorry if this is a stupid question. I've been dating this chick for about two months and I've just slowly come to realize I don't feel fit for a relationship. I feel like if I continue it's just gonna be worse for both of us and I honestly just need time to focus on me and my life.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
pQ1ZbfTN1XLIIx8dHCKyEB4rwu9Iac9w
|
b2ie6x
| null |
AITA: Maid of Honour Has Ditched Me After Offering to Plan My Bachelorette Party. Am I the Asshole?
|
Pretty long, so TDLR at the end.
I wasn't even planning on having a maid of honour to begin with. I asked my three closest friends to be bridesmaids, and I didn't want to choose a "favourite." I was thinking it would be fun to plan my hen do (bachelorette party for those in the US) together as a group. But one of the girls, my best friend from high school, said she wanted the job, so I thought "why not?" I was actually kind of touched that she cared enough to volunteer.
Anyway, almost immediately after offering she got a new job and a new boyfriend. She pretty much stopped responding to my messages (not even wedding-related stuff, just normal conversation), and when she did reply her responses were short and blunt. When I did mention anything wedding-related, she was snappy and even occasionally hurtful. I thought maybe she had a lot on her plate (she works in a stressful industry and this is her first real job in it) but it's been months now and things haven't got any better.
I asked her if she was upset with me and if she still wanted to be MoH, and she seemed really offended, and just said "why would you ask me that?" She then showed interest for about a day before going back to being weird again.
I asked her to save an hour or two for me this weekend where we could get some planning done (I thought if we did it together it might take some of the pressure off). She said fine. Time we set to meet rolls around and I hear nothing from her. I message asking where she is, get no reply, and after an hour of waiting give up. The next day I get a message saying "sorry I was at my boyfriends."
I know this all sounds petty, but the wedding is getting closer and no planning for my hen party has been done. The only thing that is sorted is the date, which I did myself. It hurts even more because our best man is making a huge effort for my fiance, where as my MoH can't even been bothered to respond to my messages. The thing is, if the situation was reversed I'd be making a huge effort for her because I care. My fiance saw how upset this is making me and asked one of the other two girls to help, but she's not really a "planner" and hates making decisions, so again everything has stalled. My other bridesmaid is travelling the world and won't be back until a week before the wedding.
I feel really lonely and friendless, but I'm also not sure if I'm being a bridezilla and expecting too much. Am I the asshole?
TDLR: BFF asked to be Maid of Honour and offered to plan the hen do/bachelorette party, then ditches me with no explanation. Not sure if I have a right to be hurt or if I'm being entitled/a bridezilla.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
VSXaJWmEKG8tA9r8BZi6MnT5LDmkN6CJ
|
a422fj
|
{
"description": "being upset that he told me he's dating another girl",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA For being upset that he told me he's dating another girl?
|
I don't know if I'm overreacting and being a bitch or if he's the one in the wrong. Last February I was studying abroad and met this guy on Tinder. We started dating (I know, bad idea), but it was never truly defined as dating. We went on dates, hooked up, and I crashed at his place often. We kind of mutually agreed that we weren't gonna see anyone else while I was still there.
Summer comes and I move back to America. Him and I are still talking almost daily and then he says he's going to visit America just for me! I am so excited and I could tell he was too. I see him in October and things are near perfect - we tour two big cities together. He insists on putting his arm around me, holding my hand, and kissing me in public. We went to a club together and he couldn't take his eyes off of me the entire time. We have such a romantic time together that he says he'll come back and visit me again soon.
He's doing a 7 month worldwide travel tour, so he's currently in South America. He was planning on coming to see me for Christmas - New Years since it's too far to fly back to his home country in Europe and I was going to be alone (I do not have any family and am in my last year of undergrad). Holidays are a pretty big deal in my mind, so I figured that plus coming to America for me meant he liked me a lot. He called me soon after his visit in October and told me that he was considering moving to America for ME. I was unsure how I felt about it since we only knew each other not even a year, but I also understood it as him really being into me. We are also planning a trip together in Asia for my spring break. His entire family follows me on social media and even chat with me occasionally and he's ok with it.
Well I just learned today because he casually told me that he was dating a girl in South America, where he is living for a month doing a brief job. I had deleted Tinder and was not open to looking for other guys just because I thought that's the direction our relationship was heading. He says this girl is just for fun and that after he leaves South America, he'll never see her again. He says she is not like me, whom he wants to keep seeing.
We never agreed to be bf/gf, but I thought we had an unspoken agreement that we wouldn't see other people. He says he is sorry for hurting me and I told him "Whatever, you're free to fuck whomever you want."
I know it was rushed, but I was honestly really falling for this guy and I know he was falling for me. Now I just feel like one of the silly girls he sees in different countries even though he still continues to insist I'm more.
Do I have this right to be upset that he's seeing other girls? Am I being overly clingy? Am I being a petty asshole for wanting to tell him not to come see me during the holidays?
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
GVmlfP68GVy87ZZvlnKKqldnJ9ZNasYn
|
asukrf
|
{
"description": "being annoyed that my boyfriend asked me for money in exchange for picking me up",
"pronormative_score": 89,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for being annoyed that my boyfriend asked me for money in exchange for picking me up?
|
Background information: I'm 21 and he's 28. We’ve been dating for a little over three months and things have been going well. Since we’ve started dating, we’ve split everything 50/50; food, entertainment, travel expenses and so on.
So I started a college internship in January where my manager is based in another country, so I have to fly over once a week. I’ve been over about eight times so far. One of my family members usually picks me up from the airport, but my boyfriend picked me up once when I was stuck. He also offers to pick me up nearly every time, which I always turn down because it’s far out of his way and I usually land quite late, although I do appreciate him offering.
That brings us to today, I’m currently working in the other office and am supposed to be flying back tomorrow. My boyfriend texting me saying he wanted to come get me from the airport. I have to admit, I melted a little. He’s going away this weekend and we weren’t going to see each other, so I thought this was his way of seeing me before he left, which was sweet. However, this message was followed up quickly with a ‘you have to give me money through’, meaning for tolls or gas. I honestly thought he was joking at first, so I responded with a laughing emoji. He then came back saying that I’d be asking him for money if I doing the same (I don’t drive but always meet him halfway places using public transport so he’s not always picking me up by any means). I turned down his offer because my dad had already offered to collect me, and now we’re not really talking.
Am I wrong for being annoyed by this? I just feel like it’s unfair because he was the one who offered in the first place. It's not about the money, it would have only been a couple of euro.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 68,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
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}
|
OTHER
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{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
n2d72pe4BEcevBNQVulIQZiMok5of2QO
|
a1wma2
|
{
"description": "backing out of driving someone to the airport",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for backing out of driving someone to the airport?
|
AITA for offering a stranger a ride to the airport and then cancelling on her last minute?
The whole story is needed for a fair trial so here are the details!
I saw a post on a rideshare facebook group of a lady (lets call her Laura) asking for a ride to the airport on a day that I was planning to go somewhere in the same direction so I offered her a ride. We planned for me to pick her up at 2pm and she would give me $20.
The day comes around and I'm not feeling well and almost pass out just standing there so I don't feel comfortable driving. I didn't know it was so bad until I almost fainted and had to lay down. As soon as that happened (~1pm?) I messaged her and said hey I'm sick I can't take you but I'll get my friend to drop off $20 for you for the rest of the cab fair and arranged a cab to pick her up.
She ended up getting a different cab so I cancelled the one I arranged and I sent my friend on foot to deliver the $20. My friend gets to Laura's house and I ask Laura to meet her outside. Laura says she's not there, tell her to go to [restaurant a couple blocks away] so my friend walks there. As she's just around the corner Laura says her cab is there and she's leaving. I said my friend will be just 2 minutes. Laura says "I'm gone. I'll get the money from you later". I feel like I did everything I could and Laura just drove away from free money, I don't feel as though I owe her that money to "give to her later".
Am I the asshole?
Bonus screenshots of convo: https://imgur.com/a/PyLSOds
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
khM74lALzEClIEhszVl4t9MbC0FF5tis
|
atllv4
|
{
"description": "despising everything someone I went highschool with does even years after the original thing that made me mad",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for despising everything someone I went highschool with does even years after the original thing that made me mad?
|
So my best friend since the first grade who I will call Michael died in a car accident at the age of twenty one. Before that and especially after me and his on again off again gf throughout his entire life got really really close. Now when I say that I know what you are thinking but we are just really great platonic friends, I’ve spent the night at her house and vice versa and nothing sexual ever occurs but we are very good friends (Important context for later). Now the reason I mention that is that she tells me quite a bit and everything even remotely related to having to do with Michael. We spend much of our time together reminiscing about him or simply playing video games, something Michael loved to do also.
Now enter Michael’s other “best friend” Evan. For context Evan moved to our school (small school) in about the sixth grade. Him and Michael became friends quickly and were pretty close leading up and through highschool. Me and Michael always remained very close up until his death in an automobile accident. That’s when me and his girlfriend became very close friends, we both loved him and missed him and bonded over our mutual missing of Michael. Well our friendship apparently prompts Evan to thing we are hooking up, which would have been odd considering we mostly hung out together at the late Michael’s family’s houses. What he thinks doesn’t bother us until one day. She tells me that he asked her to hang out and talk about Michael but when she showed up it was actually a date which made her very uncomfortable. He then tried for months starting just a week after Michael’s passing to get with Michael’s girlfriend and she tells me this and it bothers me to the point I say something to him. It also bothered her as she was completely uninterested and found it inappropriate. It doesn’t stop and we both end up blocking him out of our lives.
Fast forward to about two days ago and he is suddenly messaging her again and me (he made a new Facebook) asking her to look at a beat he made and apologizing to me for trying to get with Michael’s gf after his passing. And perhaps I should clarify it wasn’t so much that he wanted to get with her that bothered me but that he tried literal weeks after Michael’s passing and it seemed to me like he didn’t even miss Michael or care about his passing. Anyway I go to his Facebook and apparently a popular old school rapper used his beat or something which is cool and good for him. But then I’m scrolling through the comments and he is responding to our mutual friends he wrote the best for Michael. People are praising him and I’m fucking pissed because no he didn’t he is playing that to get extra likes.
WIBTA if I start responding to comments on his post where he says he wrote it for Michael with things about him trying to get and hook up get with Michaels girl weeks after his passing? I’m very angry and I just wanna know if I’m being an asshole for holding onto this years later.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 5,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
4oGAnLeNgNeCOAM39XrUndn8mlbsZDFG
|
auxqr8
|
{
"description": "not going to her birthday party",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not going to her birthday party?
|
I'm 33, my BFF is 27. A year ago we had a group of friends with 2 other girls, 26 and 35. One introduced us to her friend, Sarah. After a few months of knowing Sarah I knew this woman would be trouble. She lied a lot, was really selfish and always forced everyone to do what she wanted to do. She was all around a shitty person. No doubt there, she's definitely an A. After only 6 months of knowing her, she did some stupid things to me and I had enough. I didn't make a scene or anything, I'm fucking 33, I decided I didn't want this person in my life. But of course the rest would rather put up with a shitty person just to not make anybody uncomfortable or something. So I accepted that if I didnt want this person in my life, I wouldn't be able to meet them in general. And I was also questioning why I hang out with them anyway, they are the kind of people that talk shit about someone behind their back. So I knew they weren't something positive in my life. In general I feel like I'm too old for this, feels like something teenagers do, so it felt like wasting the little time I had for myself with people that didn't deserve it.
​
Now everytime my BFF and I meet she talks about how shitty Sarah is as a person, how nobody can't stand her, and when I ask her why do you put up with her she just says that she does it for her other two friends (even tho the other two don't seem to like her that much either). I told her that talking shit about Sarah doesn't make me feel better, it frustrates me because nobody seems to like her but she comes on top everytime. I think they are afraid of her, she has a really bad temper, so they rather have her on their side than as an enemy.
​
Anyways, the thing is my BFF's birthday party is really close. She expects me to be there. I dont want to be there. Sarah will be there, and since she has a temper and I refuse to play nice to her, I'm sure it won't be pretty. And it's my bffs birthday, it shouldn't be about us but about her. But in order to not make a scene I would have to be super nice to her. I'm sorry but I refuse. This girl has done so many awful things and it feels so unfair that everybody seems to end up bending to her will everytime. And nobody expects anything decent from her because she's an A and everybody knows she's an A, so people expect me to do the decent thing because I guess I'm the decent one out of the two.
​
I didnt go to my BFF's birthday party last year. She made me feel super guilty for not going. Like I was a bad friend. But I never made her feel guilty for not siding with me in any of this. We're adults ffs.
​
I don't fucking know.
​
Am I an A for not going? Should I just go and hope for the best? Just tell me cos I want to do the right thing but I also want to stand up for myself. It feels so unfair to me that Sarah doesn't get any negative consecuences for her shitty behaviour ever. And I know it's not my bfriend fault, but it's not mine either!
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
AWbrZ395Q9340UZBglVu7torb88Fmg5u
|
a96115
|
{
"description": "asking to borrow something expensive that I (guess?) I gave my ex",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for asking to borrow something expensive that I (guess?) I gave my ex?
|
So a while ago my ex and I were sorta living together and she bought a PS4 on Black Friday, and my dad bought me VR equipment (compatible with the PS4) for Christmas. About a year later, we broke up, and she took the PS4. I remember she wasn’t gonna take the VR equipment and I said it’s no use without the PS4 so then I guess she took it, even though I could have sworn she didn’t. (Side note: she has been in my house unsupervised since then, so it’s possible she took it later although i don’t *really* think she would)
Anyway, my current gf is letting me borrow her PS4 over the holidays and I was excited to try the VR out again, then of course I can’t find it, so I text my ex asking if she knows where it is and she says I gave it to her. She says her girlfriend’s kids use it all the time. I ask if I can borrow it for bit and she says she “doesn’t feel comfortable taking it away from the boys because it’s their favorite” I ask if I can just have it for a week (which is what I meant by “a bit”) and she doesn’t respond.
I’m not trying to take this toy (I guess) away from kids or anything but i just want to borrow it for a bit.
But idk, maybe that’s still being an asshole?
Side note but possibly relevant: she does work around my moms house that we can’t find anyone else to do. That’s why she’s been in the house.
TLDR: I apparently gave my ex a VR system in the breakup and now she won’t let me borrow it for a week.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 0,
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}
|
NOBODY
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
e8ZgLFdVo3rUHoJA6vumEybDyz6tyiCn
|
a1ive4
|
{
"description": "dating the girl my best friend has a crush on",
"pronormative_score": 40,
"contranormative_score": 25
}
|
AITA For dating the girl my best friend has a crush on?
|
So I'm a pretty young guy, for added context as maybe my age will play a part in this, I'm in highschool. My best friend told me he had a crush on this girl, who I at the time did not crush on. Over time, the three of us got chummy, him, me, and the girl. After he gave me a suicide scare and I talked him out of it, I reached out to her as we were getting close. During that chat, we started to get close and I started crushing on her. Then a month and a half later, she told me she liked me. I instantly was super hyped, and we decided to start to date.
And then I told my friend. By the way, for added context to be absolutely fair, I had told him I didn't like her before, which was the day he had planned to ask her out. After he had confessed to her as she turned him down, but wanted to stay friends. When I started crushing on her was about 4 months later.
So I told him that we started dating, and since that day he's ghosted me. At the time I was angry, and thought that he was so petty. But a day has passed and I see it's totally possible that I may have made him feel betrayed, especially considering that he was suicidal before this and even though I knew that I still asked her out. I still keep tabs on him to make sure he's okay, and if I think he does anything I have some mutuals that will talk to him through it that I know he's close with.
But that's irrelevant. I'd like to reaffirm if I'm the asshole.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 24,
"OTHER": 27,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 13,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 40,
"WRONG": 25
}
|
RIGHT
|
GBk1cHMObhkmXPKFNi1bODPiy4VaBwuF
|
a0d3zo
|
{
"description": "not talking to my mother about taking her off of my birth certificate",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I didnt talk to my mother about taking her off of my birth certificate?
|
I dont have the best relationship with my mother. I love her, but in the sense that I would be there for her if she ever TRULY needed it. She wasnt there for me as a mom and never did her job. She wants to be a mom nowadays, but it's too little too late imo.
A bit of background:
My folks got divorced when I was 11. I had to live with my mother for a year and a half and that was hell: allowed us to do whatever we wanted, parented us with the police, constantly threatened suicide if we misbehaved, never maintained groceries (and we had to deal with Indian moths), and just overall being a very terrible parent. Later on down the line, we would eventually be put in the custody of my dad, but the situation with my mother was still pretty horrid. It isnt AS bad as it once was, only due to the fact that I dont live with her and I'm a more mature person than I was as a kid. I talk to her (sometimes begrudgingly, but never tersely) from time to time, but that doesnt really do much for our relationship as it mostly involves me sitting on the phone while she prattles on about how good of a mother she is, what is bothering her that day, something about reading the bible (which she doesnt even practice, so it's rather annoying to me), and something about my dad (who she isnt entirely over), never giving me a chance to talk or never asking how I'm doing and seeing what is going on with my life.
So, I want to change her from my birth certificate to my step mom, who I consider my mom: she has been more of a parent than my mother and dad combined, is a constant source of love and guidance, and earned the title of mom in my eyes. I want that reflected legally so she can benefit from whatever benefits I receive down the line (ex: if I get this job as a flight attendant, she can travel for free whenever she wants) and so that I can legally call her my mom.
The primary issue with this is nobody really knows I'm doing this other than my step mom. I'm still good with my grandparents on my mother's side, but since they're insistent on me contacting my mother from time to time, I feel they may be upset that I'm doing this, even though they're fully aware of how inept my mother is. I dont want to make them mad and I dont want to hurt my mother unnecessarily doing this (as much as I dislike her, which is a lot, she is still my mother and I dont want to overtly harm her in doing this.)
My plan is to keep it on the down low, not tell anyone, and enjoy the benefits of it being legal whenever it is allowed. Only issue I have with that is I LOVE addressing her as my mom to other people and i dont want it necessarily hidden from public knowledge, but this runs the risk of upsetting my mother and her side of the family, and all of them are either old or mentally unwell (grandparents are old, mother is mentally unwell).
So, WIBTA if I kept my mother and her side of the family out of the loop on my taking her off of my birth certificate as my mom?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 9,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
3C1t9cpKjq6aZZal5H4mQNcaScXHvKaW
|
b1lkt6
|
{
"description": "making my girlfriend upset with me",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for making my girlfriend upset with me
|
This is seriously something I'm worried about... Here's the context. I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for around a year now and it's gotten to the point where I upset her about everything I do. I'm in highschool and this is the first "real" relationship both of us have been so I'm pretty new to knowing how people should treat one another in a relationship. I'd like to consider myself a good boyfriend and more and more I kinda feel taken advantage of. She's very sweet and eventually she apologizes for most of the stuff she gets mad at me for, but it feels constant that she'll get upset, sometimes cry, and I don't feel like I do much wrong. For example, I walked back to the school from my friends house to wait for her outside of her class (I didn't have a class the last period). When we met, I walked her to her after school activity and I asked if we could sit down for a second so we could talk a bit before I left for the mountains for my spring break. She said "no I wanna be early" (to her after school activity). I contested this a bit, because I felt like if I could walk back to the school to say goodbye to her she could sit down with me for a minute (the after school thing is pretty informal and nobody gets very upset if people show up late). I hope this gets across clearly and I know this makes me look like the bad guy but me contesting it literally looked like "why not, you don't have to be early". Anyways, she started getting upset and said "I feel like you're always mad at me for wanting to get to things on time" (the only time I get to see her is after her classes and weekends and it isn't the first time I've asked her to stay with me a little longer). She started tearing up and I didn't know what to do so I apologized. That was just today. Yesterday, the first time we got to hang out in about a week, she, her sister, and I we're all
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
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"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
5dDYKUOct6zFO1roD77IgWrv8m56Kx0R
|
b9d8qb
|
{
"description": "confessing for a friend",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for confessing for a friend.
|
So I'm in something that is almost the same level as high school in America and honestly it is painful just to look at my friend when he is around this girl, he is too scared to say that he likes her and has friendzoned himself BADLY, so today I thought, hmm maybe I should help him with his situation in being friendzoned.
So I walk up to her at the end of school and tell her that he likes her and wants to go out with her, she walks off without saying anything. He likes her but is too scared to ask. Am I the asshole.
P.S. English isn't my first language.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 8
}
|
WRONG
|
pRiXoEyM4OF6GhB0A8rmSfPVRkohbruj
|
b147xd
|
{
"description": "getting mad at my so for sexting someone else",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for getting mad at my so for sexting someone else
|
There’s a lot of background here. I’ll try to keep it brief but you really have to understand the entire situation. So sorry for the wall of text you’re about to read.
So before this recent incident me and the SO already had some relationship trouble to say the least.
When we met he was in the process of a divorce. Through a series of events and conversations he basically told me he was still in love with her.
So the first year of our relationship I stayed with him despite for various reasons, mostly because he told me he was trying and wanted to get over her because he valued our relationship.
Eventually sleeping in bed next to someone I knew was in love with another woman every night got pretty mentally draining. I couldn’t handle it anymore and so I broke up with him after about a year.
A few months after that he comes to me saying that he tried to get back together with his ex but she said no but that made him realize that it was never going to work with her and that they weren’t even good together etc....
eventually a few months later I decide to give him another chance.
I tell him we aren’t going to date officially yet bc I was still very hurt over everything and I needed to see things really did change. He says ok and he’ll give me as much time as I need. We agree not to talk to/sleep with other people.
Things started to get better and we were hanging out all the time/sleeping over every night by about mid November.
Fast forward to last week when I borrow his laptop and look at his email (mostly out of sheer curiosity and nosiness) to find emails with some girl that spanned from the time he came to me and told me how sorry he was and how he was wrong and wanted to try again to late January.
I was pissed. I confronted him and he said he didn’t think it was a big deal at the time. Because we “weren’t dating.” But from my point of view if he said that he loved me and wanted to get back together than why would he feel the need to do that?
We’ve been fighting about it ever since because although he acknowledges it’s wrong to some extent, we technically weren’t together so he doesn’t feel the same way about it that I do. But there’s also all the shit in our past....
ONE MORE piece of additional info:
When we broke up I was very hurt and said a lot of awful things I didn’t mean and when we first got back together I was really cold and distant for the first month or two)
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
LdxGnpBDgyxclLOcbamZJK10CQq2sXb4
|
asj5w7
|
{
"description": "quitting my job like this",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for quitting my job like this?
|
My family started a business a long time ago and I helped them grow it for many years until they sold it. My new boss is a total cunt and has been for the past year and a half. He has straight up told us that he has taken tips out of former employees last paychecks and given it to us. He is genuinely rude to both customers and employees. Making fun of minors and calling them bitches. I could literally go on and on. Multiple people have walked out, given a week notice, or just not come back because of it. I got offered a much better paying job and I told my boss that they wanted me to start the next week. He was furious. Telling me things like I should have more respect for them, that they do everything they can to make me happy(they don't. I haven't even gotten a single raise in a year and a half), all kinds of things like that. The straw that broke the camels back was that he, for some reason, decided to bring my family into this. He started talking bad about them and I decided right then and there to walk out. I was going to give them a week and I even told him I was sorry but I couldn't pass this job up. It's over $5 more per hour and I really needed it. I was barely making $10 p/hr.
AITA? I feel kind of bad about it but at the same time I hope he fails the way he has acted towards other people.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 8,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
DrFvx4a4VOJdeaah07kxHEv1dMdqs9gr
|
ahjtn8
|
{
"description": "not letting my boyfriend drive my sister's boyfriend home",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not letting my boyfriend drive my sister's boyfriend home?
|
On mobile so sorry for formatting etc.etc
For some context, my sister is in highschool and is dating a self absorbed and careless boy. They have been on and off for a while. I know he doesnt treat my sister right because she lost her virginity to him, had a pregnancy scare while he just moved on and stopped talking to her.
On the other hand I dont drive but my boyfriend does. Neither my sister or her boyfriend dont ever talk to my boyfriend or myself for that matter. We live Canada, it's past midnight, temperature is at -30 C and he has no way home, he also lives far so i dont want my boyfriend to go out of his way for this kid.
PS. He cant stay the night because my dad doesnt even know about this boy at all and the drive is around 50min
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
ah1u4A6gTAy2tdxVTf9RMK3e9HqwtOLP
|
avdbiq
|
{
"description": "feeling like theres double standards",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for feeling like theres double standards
|
I'm 18 currently at University, SO is 19 at a different University, it's about 3 hours away but I visit them every weekend and normally end up staying longer and missing uni. We've been together since the last year of school and things have naturally been up and down (mixing teenage emotions with a lot of change in a short period)
SO has strict parents so I'm kept a secret (this isn't a problem it's just for context) and over summer I went with family to a rural part of ireland, I wasn't on a phone contract at this time so was unable to communicate with them for a 2 weeks aside from sporadic DMs whenever I got WiFi, when I came back all was good until about 2 weeks after, when they broke up with me. I found out during the time I was away they'd started talking to someone else, we stayed friends and the other person turned out to be a dickhead so we got back together. The next time I saw them in person was during uni.
I routinely visit them every weekend (3hr public transport (again not my issue just context)) and during fresher's we fell out, they were sleeping early one night and I was out with friends, so I went home and called them for a bit. After this they began to get more and more jealous of the time i was spending with friends. They also have a large circle of friends many of which are opposite sex.
Fast forward a few months and Ive drifted from all my friends, I'm a loner at the minute. I stay in bed all day waiting for them to be available to ring, because being too busy to answer would not go down well.
I've been called boring and difficult to talk to, and I explained that I hadnt left my room for the last week so maybe it was why I had no gripping stories or funny anecdotes, again, didn't go down well
I still visit them every weekend and more often than not it results in me sitting in their room waiting while they have society socials and go out without me.
Over Christmas I was back home and decided to meet up with some school friends for a night, SO fell out with me over my slow replies to their texts and I ended up calling them in the bathroom all night, my old friends have since drifted from me since then probably because I ignored them all night.
They continue to live a happy typical student Life with a large circle of friends and always have lots of plans whereas I feel like I need to stay in my room on standby in case I see them calling me
Now obviously I know how it sounds reading it back, but this is just a one sided rant, they're a genuinely lovely person and I wouldn't consider ending it, just wondering if I'm the asshole (arsehole as we say) for feeling like it's sort of their fault Im not enjoying University
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 5,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
533Djm9CQPCiQ2NbREmZk2fNq0eS7LZ3
|
b2kd9n
|
{
"description": "not wanting my mother-in-law to live with us after my wife gives birth",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 39
}
|
AITA for not wanting my mother-in-law to live with us after my wife gives birth?
|
I am 35, my wife is 32. We have been married for 11 years and have 2 daughters, 10 and 6. She is currently 4 months pregnant with twins.
I am an engineer for a hydro company and work 8-4 each day, 40 hours a week and sometimes overtime. My wife works full time as a nurse consultant for a pharmaceutical company.
But otherwise she takes care of the house, the kids, and also does the cooking. I tell her she’s doing a LOT of work for someone who is pregnant with twins, and suggested that she take maternity leave early (she originally planned to leave around 7 months). I also suggested that she should think about staying home with the kids and maybe working from home after the birth of our twins.
She felt insulted by my suggestion and said she wouldn’t feel right, not working and just staying at home. I told her I earned enough for both of us and she should just take it easy. She was originally planning on having her mother come and take care of the kids and babies while she went back to work after a month or so. She told me that her mom is planning on staying “indefinitely” and “thats how its done in my family”. I know that after her mother gave birth to her sister, her grandparents literally moved in with them for 10 years, helping to raise the both of them while her parents worked.
I’m not okay with this idea because although I like my MIL (57), I wouldnt feel comfortable having her live with us, especially for an indefinite length of time. I also don’t like the idea of my wife continuing to work while pregnant. I don’t want her to go back to work as soon as she gives birth. I just want her to be there for the kids.
I don’t want an outsider interrupting our daily lives. She helped us out for a few months after the birth of our youngest, and there was some tension after a while. But my MIL wants my wife to go back to work ASAP after having kids. I really don’t understand the rush and just want my wife to be taking care of our children.
I told my wife this and she said I’m being rude and unreasonable for not wanting her mom to live with us. And that with 4 kids, she needs extra help. I volunteered to take paternity leave for a month or so and she said thats a “dumb idea”.
Am I the asshole/unreasonable?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 33,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 6,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 15,
"WRONG": 39
}
|
WRONG
|
W8Lx8cuzb4CxFsiusyQ7z8m08tTrsiHO
|
b333xn
|
{
"description": "cutting off my in-laws",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for cutting off my in-laws?
|
Trying to keep this as short as possible. **TL;DR**: My in-laws were not able to be present or supportive when my husband, their son, was dying in the hospital and now I'm not speaking to them. I don't know if I ever will again.
Over the holidays my husband was in the hospital for near-fatal flu complications. (Get your flu shots!) He was in a medically-induced coma for about 2 weeks, and spent 10 of those days on specialized life support. After he woke up he spent a week awake on the ventilator and withdrawing from opioid drips, then another week awake and able to breathe on his own but delusional and kind of psychotic from kidney failure.
For those first two weeks his parents were overbearing and insufferable--as you might expect from the parents of an only child. They had secret meetings with doctors, tried to sign papers without me, interrupted doctors during rounds, and talked to people about clinical trials without telling me. And they were there 24/7. Never left.
When Husband woke up from the coma, his sleep/wake cycle was reversed, he was verbally and physically abusive to staff and visitors, and had to be restrained so he wouldn't pull out his breathing tube or the dialysis port in his jugular vein. Sounds like a perfect job for overbearing, ever-present parents, right?
Nope. They went back home and visited for a couple of hours every 2-3 days. They didn't believe me when I described how awful my husband was at night, because when they saw him during the day he was sleepy and docile. I *begged* them to stay for longer and to stay overnight. They'd promise they would and then just not show up, and never acknowledge it or apologize.
I stood at my husband's bedside alone every night and got yelled at, smacked in the face, barfed on, and watched nearly every bodily fluid he has get sucked out or recirculated through one tube or another. While my in-laws were having drinks with friends and going downtown to see the Blue Man Group. (Not a joke, I saw the ticket stubs.)
I get that everyone deals with tragedy in their own way, and maybe they just shut down and couldn't hack it. But why disappear right when your son is coming back to life? Why promise to be supportive and then stand me up? Why accuse me of lying? I was beyond furious.
I was barely civil with the in-laws for the rest of the hospital stay and I haven't spoken to them since we came home from the hospital, January 8. Husband knows what happened, he's okay with how I feel towards his parents but he is still super close with them. He has communicated to them that I need space and I will reach out to them when I am ready, but they are always telling him "give newjerseygoldrush a big hug and a kiss for me" and they've texted me a couple times "to check in" and for my birthday, which pisses me off.
I know I'm not going to forgive them, but do I have to forget it and move on for the sake of my husband's family?
Again, sorry this is so long.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
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}
|
RIGHT
|
eTkheyLykbGLXfGSJTfeDLY3wCVOgu7c
|
a70hxb
|
{
"description": "expecting reciprocity",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA because I expect reciprocity
|
So I will text my boyfriend "have a good night, sleep well" or "have a great day today". He will read it and say "thank you" but that's it. No wishing me the same. I get miffed at this (I don't show it to him though). Am I the asshole for getting upset for his lack of reciprocity?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
1QiTNAAsRg9HYX27Fu8fMN4h45vmDeeE
|
alrdbd
|
{
"description": "not saying \"what\" when my Mom calls my name and, instead saying \"mom\"",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for not saying "what" when my Mom calls my name and, instead saying "Mom".
|
Backstory, my mom is the type of person where if she is home, you're home and live in the home, she is going to ask you to do favors. To me, it gets annoying because I'm trying to get my own stuff done so I can move out. It feels like she asks so much that I can't get anything done. So, I got fed up with her calling me changed from saying "what" to saying "Mom". Now she is mad at me.
Point is, if I get enough legitimate posts telling me that I am an asshole, I'm more then willing to do and apologize.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
YJDYA3UDCIEXL3rfUzFu3KDNBpU1hyen
|
a1u3mb
|
{
"description": "not wanting to pay the Shaw bill",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not wanting to pay the Shaw bill? [confused]
|
Okay now that I have your attention. I’ll give you some background, I live in a condo with my boyfriend and another couple. A few months in, the three roommates decided that they wanted to get cable TV. I usually don’t watch tv because Netflix and YouTube are are readily available but it sounded good.
My household loves sports, whereas I don’t watch or care about sports. So when decided that we would get cable, I already knew the majority of it would be sports. I told them two channels that I wanted so that I could enjoy the tv as well. Well, this tv channels were never delivered. It has now been three months, and I’m paying $30/month for cable that I haven’t watched at all (we split it 4 ways).
I’m a full time student, only working four times a month (every Saturday) so every penny is valuable. However, my roommates have full time jobs 40+ hours a week. I want to ask them to cut me out of the cable bill because it isn’t practical for me to pay it when I don’t use it.
Now, when I brought this up to my boyfriend,
he said “everyone is contributing to the cable. I don’t like the house being warm but I still pay for heating because it’s a part of the house”.
Me: “but heating a house is mandatory for Canadian winters. Sports channels aren’t”
Anyway, it’s the end of the month and my roommate just texted me for $30 for the cable bill. I brought it up again to my boyfriend and he wasn’t happy with me.
Am I the asshole for this?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
SnyRq6pOdfGgApCa3mo2mvUxbm713pDd
|
a5vbkr
|
{
"description": "deleting a facebook MESSGAE so MY FIANCE wouldn't get jealous and MAD",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA-- FOR DELETING A FACEBOOK MESSGAE SO MY FIANCE WOULDN'T GET JEALOUS AND MAD???
|
So me and my fiance have been together for 3 years. We have a 10 month old son and have been through hell and back together. His ex-wife cheated on him constantly with any and everybody so he obviously has emotional baggage from his past relationship with her. He is super jealous over any and everything whether it's a comment from a stranger or an innocent compliment from a friend it's always an argument.
So one of my friends message me on Facebook and called me sexy. Yes I instantly knew that this would be an argument if he'd seen it.
Mind you he has access to my phone anytime he pleases he has my Facebook account on his phone so he can see any time I get a message. I have nothing to hide I love him and can't imagine my life without him.
So anyways I delete this message because I know that it's going to cause problems no I was not flirting I responded with have a great day but that was not the end of that.
So here we are in this huge argument because he thinks that I'm always talking to guys flirting or trying to find somebody else..
I feel like I have some kind of postpartum depression from having the baby constantly home taking care of the house making sure everything's clean dinners cooked his clothes are clean laid out for the night his lunch is packed he's got coffee made I don't understand how he thinks I have the time to be looking for somebody else when I'm not even interested in anybody else it totally blows my mind...
It also breaks my heart to know that he obviously does not have trust or faith in me that I would not go behind his back and do any sort of foolishness to ruin the relationship that we have or break up our beautiful family..
So please please please I need your input!!!!
Tldr: Fiance is jealous of a Facebook message thinks I'm unfaithful because I deleted the message that somebody called me sexy to avoid an argument...
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
qtavUT9bMIfP20ZQwHrJczfqhjRGR4ok
|
a4d3kf
|
{
"description": "indirectly telling my ex girlfriends dad she snuck away for the weekend to see her sugar daddy",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA For indirectly telling my ex girlfriends dad she snuck away for the weekend to see her sugar daddy
|
In the last couple weeks my now ex girlfriend broke up with me,first telling me that it was my fault,then later admitted that it was because she has a sugar daddy in Texas who wanted her to leave me and start coming to see him. I googled the guy and he only makes 50k and has been arrested multiple times. I was talking with my uncle about this (who is a friend of her fathers) who then told her father. She then calls me and tells me I have no right to be giving out her business out and "Now she sees that she can't trust me" even tho she was the one who was sending nudes to an old guy in face book for money. Now she has to come home and she is pissed
I should preface this by saying we are both 21 and live at home aswell
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
KhWUA2D6DPXbNCpxDg8xPgLX7flqbxUn
|
b7pyse
|
{
"description": "not accepting my Ex's Boyfriends' 'thanks'",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 10
}
|
AITA For Not Accepting My Ex's Boyfriends' 'Thanks'
|
Hello, hope you're all well today.
A long while ago, an ex-girlfriend of mine, say 'Sarah', and I had a very tumultuous relationship. We were on and off, but eventually while together I found out she started cheating on me with a guy she lied about for years.
I believe she's otherwise a good person. We just weren't right for each other and she handled it very poorly. I had handled other aspects of our relationship poorly; I'm no saint. We've worked hard to re-forge a friendship and it's gone pretty well all things considered. She's made immense strides as a person and has earnestly apologized to me for the past.
Her birthday was this weekend and is incredibly important to her, so she came to visit me and we went out together to have some fun. Currently, her boyfriend, say 'Henry', is in jail right now for a victimless crime, so he's unavailable. Of course if Henry weren't in jail, they'd be spending the day together. That's fine and obvious.
What's bothering me is that he calls her from jail to "thank" me for taking her out on her birthday. She and I got into a very brief argument about this. She thinks this is a kind and thoughtful thing for him to say, and I think it's very insulting to both her and myself. My reasoning is as follows:
1) She's my friend, I don't need his permission or thanks to go have fun with her on her birthday, or any occasion for that matter.
2) Her and her birthday celebration is not a responsibility to just be handed off when he goes to jail. She is not an object. I took her out because I enjoy her company and recognize she loves her birthday, not because I was "covering" for him. I'm not his subordinate for when he's not around.
3) His "thanks" implies a statement that I'm a convenience for when he's not around. I don't like being treated as if I'm only worth hanging out with when he's not around. I think I'm worth more than that.
She disagrees with me and thinks I'm over-reading. It sounds like a trivial point, but I don't think it is.
So, AITH?
Thanks for your time for whoever responds.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 10
}
|
WRONG
|
kVwEIsPeCAFmn0lgYPEWsxEZtEsQeGGv
|
agwlpu
|
{
"description": "shouting at a parent for their 8/9 year old kids racist remarks",
"pronormative_score": 210,
"contranormative_score": 205
}
|
AITA for shouting at a parent for their 8/9 year old kids racist remarks?
|
I got onto quite a packed train, but not too packed in that seating space is tight but there's plenty of standing room.
I sit next to a kid with his father who are about 8/9 years old and 40 respectively. Then the kid starts saying stuff like "I don't want to sit next to you, and asks his dad to move." The dad refuses and the kid goes on "I don't like black people, they're scary... they're bad people etc". The kid starts arguing with his dad and muffles in a "but you" as his dad shuts him up.
Not that this matters but, I'm actually quite good looking, slim and dressed in casual business wear. So there really wasn't anything I could have done to actually scare this kid.
Anyways, I give this kid a death stare and he starts to shit himself. As I'm about to speak to him, I give up and turn to his father. Then I start to berate him and what he's teaching his child. In effect, I called him a bad parent and a racist along with some other choice words. Father explodes and starts yelling "how dare I speak to him like that?", calls me "unemployed waste of space" and other defensive remarks. Things start to heat up, kid starts to cry, and then I walk away.
I asked my siblings about it and she said it might not be the dad's fault. Her kids, although younger, built their own perception and were pretty afraid of the darker members of our extended family they didn't see as much. It was only until they went to school and made friends that it all went away.
So now, I'm not sure if IATA for calling out the dad and berating him in front of his kid.
IATA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 108,
"OTHER": 209,
"EVERYBODY": 97,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 5
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 210,
"WRONG": 205
}
|
RIGHT
|
hzevGbNYhd4zXoFL6NToTxt5o2UZWtLO
|
b4wo48
|
{
"description": "being very upset/asking my roommate to not use my plates for meat dishes",
"pronormative_score": 57,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for being very upset/asking my roommate to not use my plates for meat dishes
|
I don’t eat meat for religious and spiritual reasons, never have in my entire life. My roommate is pescetarianism. No issues we have separate plates, pans and utensils.
She had guests over and used all of my plates for her meat dish she cooked for them. I only found out after I got home.
I went through various stages of anger and annoyance. Those dishes are expensive and (strangely, I know) hold emotional value.
When my other friend comes over that eats/cooks meat at my house, I have kept separate dishes, a pot and utensils for them.
Roommate and I have different shelves in the fridge for exactly this reason too.
Now I know I can’t control what happens at restaurants or other peoples houses. But I like to keep my house and my stuff in a particular order, if that makes sense.
AITA for politely telling her to not use my dishes for meat when her guests are over in the future?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 46,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 11,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 57,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
zsYAJ9h1Gedyvo38gaQuafeUNTrlTMCK
|
a92xka
|
{
"description": "being mad at my boyfriend for something his friends did",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being mad at my boyfriend for something his friends did?
|
When me and my boyfriend go out I like to take pictures of us together and post them on Snapchat. His friends however have taken to editing them and putting them in my boyfriends group chat with all his friends. I have told my boyfriend before that I don’t feel particularly welcomed by his friends and don’t appreciate some of the comments they make (one of them “joked” he was going shoot up the summer camp I work at) but he usually just says that’s their humor.
The last time we went out, one of his friends edited only my face to make me look incredibly overweight and I mean like to an extreme. I saw when my boyfriend opened his phone and I expressed how upset I was by it but again it just felt like it was blown off. He sent a message 2 days later in his group chat saying “he knows they don’t mean to be hateful but could they please stop” and they said sorry to him in the chat. This has been going on since the beginning and never seems to happen to the other girlfriends of the group. I feel like my boyfriend isn’t really taking this very seriously or caring about my feelings.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
3NyejNNG2wqrG3pCGrLOTMJtXeOnMxMY
|
aq7v08
|
{
"description": "pranking my brother",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for pranking my brother?
|
So we just got some snow in the Northeast, maybe about 5 inches. So normally we go out and shovel together and get rid of the snow. But today my brother decided that “ it was the last thing he wanted to do” and decided not to come help me shovel the driveway and all the walkways. Feeling annoyed that he just blew me off and left me to shovel our large driveway alone, I decided to exact some revenge. I cleaned off the whole driveway except for his drivers side car door, where I piled snow just below his door handle, about 3 feet. So the next day he comes outside and tries to rip his door open, and proceeds to rip the door handle off and break his door. Now he’s pissed at me and says it’s my fault, when I think all he’d have to do was spend about 3 minutes shoveling his drivers side doorway out.
Reddit, am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
Ig0DNMLMdMt8McKLBYhMl5D9lzWry90S
|
b6e6l1
|
{
"description": "using the handicap stall",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for using the handicap stall?
|
So quick question I guess. I walked into the bathroom at a game and all the stalls are full except the handicap one, so I used it. When I got out a handicap person was waiting and I felt a bit bad. Am I an asshole for using it? Always kind of thought it was just handicap assessable not handicap only. I asked a few friends and got mixed responses.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
VuM9NEIzbYhLDnxsa9dVWw0VvOfEBHsM
|
au8tem
|
{
"description": "blocking an annoying kid from school",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I blocked an annoying kid from school
|
he is always adding me to group chats, which I leave and express disinterest in. now he PRIVATE messages me things I never asked to see or care about. WIBTA if I just blocked him?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
7Lp6ewxKE6kzwlhSR19OKsWFEmddFAHW
|
apqrie
|
{
"description": "not supporting my child's college decision",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for not supporting my child’s college decision?
|
I have two boys who I love very much. The older recently graduated from a vocational school in medicine. My wife and I funded his entire community college of around $6000. He just started his job and is making $35/hour. I’m very happy with the route he took. My younger son is the more art focused of the two and wants to go to a private college. He is in 11th grade and I believe he has the grades and work ethic to get him into any school he wants. I just don’t believe that the return of investment in a 100k art degree will pay off. He doesn’t expect us to pay for his college, and I’m trying not shit on his interest, but I’m scared he is going to put himself into debt and I’m not going to be able to help him. I feel bad cause I was so enthusiastic to help my eldest son when it was his time to go to college, but now I don’t know what to do. Do I convince him to pursue community college to get his GE credits and then transfer in hopes that he changes his mind? Do I let him take out the loan to get into his dream school? AITA? Thanks for reading. Let me
TLDR: Paid for first son’s college, hesitant to pay for seconds son’s college because of the major he chose.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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NOBODY
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RIGHT
|
J4cplGQexJo0fvEGOkmdkmuixl30ZFbH
|
ajdrhv
|
{
"description": "refusing to spend time with my brother",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For Refusing To Spend Time With My Brother?
|
I have a brother 3 years younger than me. I'm 17, he's 14. We live in the same house but I pretty much avoid him as much as I can. We often go months without any significant positive interaction. Sometimes he'll try to spend time with me and I'll reject him. Why? He's often unimaginably mean to me. He's called me every name you can think of. Whore, freak, bitch, fatass, loser, slut, etc etc etc. He threatens me, steals my stuff, and picks fights with my friends. It's brutal and really hurts me. My parents, especially my mom, always try to guilt trip me into spending time with him. They say that he's just troubled and the stuff he does is a cry for my attention. They say when I ignore him it hurts him, that deep down all he wants is his sister back. Sometimes it really makes me feel guilty. Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
6Bs1w3EG4w2qSMIktQ2p3rvKGUEUuBoN
|
apu48l
|
{
"description": "turning the thermostat down when I'm out but my lodger is in",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
WIBTA if I turn the thermostat down when I'm out but my lodger is in
|
Right nice and simple, I'm the owner of the house I have a lodger who pays slightly below market rate by about £25/$32/€28 a month to live here. He's not always in during the evening, I'm out for the next three evenings. WIBTA if I set the thermostat down by a few degrees not knowing if he is going to be in or not?
It's normally around 22c/72f and I'd knock it down to about 18c/65f purely because I don't want to be wasting energy heating a house that might be empty.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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AUTHOR
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
E83s73MXLDPGn6ggLLzCmFsQy3vqjizq
|
a2rhnu
|
{
"description": "breaking things off with a girl because I didn't feel the 'spark' when we kissed",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for breaking things off with a girl because I didn't feel the 'spark' when we kissed?
|
I realize how cliche that sounds, but I want to try and give a little background before judgement is passed. (Minor details have been changed cause privacy)
I (Male, 25) had been talking to a girl (Female, 22) for a while, and it seemed like we were really hitting it off. I thought she was really fun to talk to, and although I wasn't intensely attracted to her physically, I still really enjoyed her personality and wanted to see if it could go somewhere.
It's here that I want to address 'the spark' a little bit. In general, I think the idea is very over-romanticized. It's not like in the movies where you kiss someone once and you have this life-altering epiphany about how this girl is 'the one' for you. I don't think that the girl needs to necessarily be a 'good' kisser, but in past relationships I have felt some sort of 'fire' or 'electricity' when kissing someone that I really cared about and it's something that I think is important.
Well one thing led to another, and we ended up kissing for the first time, and I felt _nothing_. From the second our lips touched it just felt wrong, and I knew that it was something I wouldn't be able to move past. (Again, I want to reiterate that I'm not saying she was a bad kisser, because she wasn't). I debated for the rest of the day on how to tell her because I knew that no matter how I brought it up, she wasn't likely to take it well. I finally just told her the truth (that I didn't feel that 'spark' and that it was a bit of an issue for me) and as I predicted, she did not take it well. She started raging at me about how I was being a jerk and unfair, and how 'the spark' isn't real. She said that those feelings are something that develop over the course of the relationship and aren't there from the beginning. And while her point definitely has some value (There absolutely are some feelings that aren't there at the beginning, and have to develop as a relationship grows and matures), I still disagree with her and wanted to get some outside opinions. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
PD8tHgmurs0knfPU3mIX129SvMO0VCff
|
ar37lk
|
{
"description": "wanting my roommate to always use earbuds",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for wanting my roommate to always use earbuds?
|
I'm in college and my roommate LOVES to watch Youtube videos. The problem is they also hate earbuds. They're very reasonable and willing to put in earbuds when I'm trying to do work or sleep, but otherwise, something's always playing out loud. They say that using earbuds hurts their ears and gives them a headache. However, I'm really starting to lose it listening to the random videos they're watching at literally all hours of the day. I want to ask them to put in earbuds more often, but I feel like that's rude, considering they say using earbuds is physically painful.
​
TLDR: AITA for wanting my roommate to always use earbuds, not just when I'm sleeping or doing work?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
CgRF51cXTKs5nnELB01zJpeprVitBHiB
|
a6cmg0
|
{
"description": "letting my husband pay 500$ for a MTG deck I dont need",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for letting my husband pay 500$ for a MTG deck I dont need?
|
So, he's very into Magic. He has a lot of fun building decks, and talking about magic. So, he's very excited to build this for me.
But.
I'm not as excited about the game as he is. I'm often frustrated by the game because I feel dumb when I play against him. I want to get as good as he is, and I'm sort of excited to play a "Mardu" deck. It's a truly decked out build, and some cards are a lot!!
And there's this guilt in me that he's spending a shit ton of money on something I'm not really excited about.
Am I an asshole for letting him do that??
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
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NOBODY
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
k3qS88BdXiS0CpcrUADqLmc9mUSkv9lW
|
9xvwy1
|
{
"description": "not feeling bad about my father's death",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not feeling bad about my father's death?
|
A bit of backstory: Before I was born my mom moved to Louisiana and met a guy. Eventually they started taking their relationship more seriously and had me. My mom left him before I was born and moved back to her home state.
I've talked to my mom about him before and she always said something about how someday I could go meet him. One day when I was about 10 she came and told me that he had died. She seemed pretty sad about it so I tried to comfort her. I realized that I didn't really feel bad about his death. It wasn't that I resented him or anything, I had just never met him or had any interaction with him.
I think about it now and constantly feel like I'm a terrible person for not feeling anything.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
yDy4rXoAOHe7dQV4qyGaDcHr57tHuQ52
|
aakgkm
|
{
"description": "ruining probably Kid's childhood",
"pronormative_score": 80,
"contranormative_score": 612
}
|
AITA For Ruining Probably Kid's Childhood?
|
I was in Target the day after Christmas. I live in a large city so it was packed with people returning stuff and the usual shopping. I needed to use the restroom so I went to do that.
There was quite a line of people so I decided to act civilized and get in line. The man behind me had a kid (probably like 6 or 7) with him and was getting really upset really fast. While there was about 2 people a head of me a store associate came out and told us he needed a minute to clean the bathroom. Obviously none of use were happy but what are you going to do? The associate goes in the bathroom to clean it up.
Almost immediately the guy behind me starts complaining very loudly how the worker was probably in there doing nothing and making us wait on purpose. To be fair the associate did take about 10 minutes but the guy was talking loud enough that I think the associate in the bathroom could have heard it fairly clearly. I worked retail so I know how stressed the holidays are on people so I texted my girlfriend telling her it would be a while. I also texted her, "There is a guy behind me who is acting like a baby about having to wait. He is throwing a little tantrum that is kinda funny."
I get out of the text app and start browsing Reddit or something. The guy behind me starts really calling the associate names and generally being an asshole to the young guy who is just doing his job. I turn around and give him a look and he says to me, "You shut up. I saw what you said about me, asshole."
So at this point I'm a little stunned because there must have been an effort to look over my shoulder and see what I was texting. That's kinda a huge violation of privacy in my opinion. I get a little pissed fast and turn to his kid and said, "Santa Claus is not real. It's your parents. Also the Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy are not real. It's all your parents work." I walked away at that point because I didn't want a physical altercation to happen or anything.
Am I the asshole? Maybe what I didn't wasn't proportional but I think it was if you have ever worked retail on the holidays and if I was the associate I would be cheering for me.
tl;dr: Stranger acts like an asshole to retail associate, reads my private text over my shoulder, calls me an asshole for texting that he was being a baby, I tell his kid that Santa isn't real.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 78,
"EVERYBODY": 100,
"NOBODY": 2,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 80,
"WRONG": 612
}
|
WRONG
|
yiZAWZuOCRRbmceTbqCZ2h0Mz2s8TN12
|
b730mu
|
{
"description": "not wanting to meet my moms boyfriend who was part of the reason my parents separated",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for not wanting to meet my moms boyfriend who was part of the reason my parents separated?
|
So this starts back in 2017 when my parents split (they were never married but had been together for around 25ish years) shortly after my 16th birthday. My parents hadn't had the best relationship for a couple years prior but me being a kid I never really noticed until I look back on it now. My mom tells me that she's moving out and that they're not together anymore. Obviously this messed me up but I think deep down I knew it was coming. Anyways she moves out and I live part time with each of them. It comes to my attention that part of the reason they separated was because my mom was seeing a guy who lived in hawaii (I live on the East Coast US but my parents are both flight attendants) named David (not his actual name) and I was furious with my mom for this and I still don't fully forgive her for it. Couple months pass and during the summer my mom asks me to come to hawaii with her and my grandmother and I didn't really think much of it because we go on vacations every summer since we get free flights since they work for an airline. We have a really good trip until my mom wants me to meet David and his daughters and I lost my shit. I told her flat out that I never wanted to meet him and that she knew that and that I fucking hated this guy for being part of the reason my parents split up. She was very upset by this and my grandmother was too, and my grandmother tells me that the whole trip was just a reason for me to go meet him and I was livid. We've had arguments over it a couple times after this and I basically say I never want to meet him and she wants me to meet him because she is an important person in her life and she thinks I should be involved with that. Not much happens until late fall 2018 where she asks me to go to a wedding with her in California (I dont know the people getting married or anyone else going except my mother) and her boyfriend and his entire family would be there. She asks me for a while and I sort of lied and told her I couldn't go because I had a huge paper due that week that we were doing in school (which isn't untrue) and she was really upset by this. She kept asking me to go and I kept saying no and that I'm not ready for that. My dad found out and he was upset about it and said that she shouldn't be making me go if I didn't want to (My parents dont talk at all anymore). My mom starts crying and saying stuff like she doesn't understand why I don't wanna go and that its important to her and I told her I would meet them eventually (which for the record I really hope I don't have to). After the wedding she kept trying to guilt trip me by bringing me stuff back from California like some staff exclusive apple shirts (Davids brother works for apple) and she said if I would've went I would've been able to tour the apple HQ and got a free apple watch and that kind of stuff. I understand where shes coming from that she wants me to meet him but I think she should respect my reasoning
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
4sMqthFbXlInRtDX4hbGQWEwHxpOvamX
|
ax71sg
|
{
"description": "not wanting to hear my cousin make out with his girlfriend in voice chat",
"pronormative_score": 22,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to hear my cousin make out with his girlfriend in voice chat?
|
Here's the situation:
​
My cousin, our mutual friend and me (3 dudes in their 20s) are often hanging out in PS4 party chat and gaming together. Problem is, my cousin's girlfriend is overly attached to him (in my opinion). She basically lays in his arms when we are trying to game. They are VERY intimate most of the time and I can hear them doing lewd things multiple times an hour. Giggling, kissing noises, etc.
​
So yesterday I said how he can stand this constant intimacy. I get, I get it. Different strokes for different folks, but please don't subject me to your private cuddle time. Then I clearly stated that it bothers me having to listen to them.
​
Today him, our friend (who says he's got no problem with this situation) are having a discussion about it. And they both are picturing me as someone who doesn't allow other opinions.
​
Sidenote kinda relevant to all this: I have an old dog (14 years) and she is getting difficult. Multiple times a night I have to get up and leave my cousin and friend as soon as the dog requires attention. These periods can take up to 30 mins on a bad night (putting on clothes, going outside, waiting until she does her business, you get the point). So now my cousin compares the dog situation with his girlfriend situation, saying we both care about something we love, and they have to accept that I'm gone too. And I'm grateful that they do accept it. But I feel like they shouldn't/can't compare me having to care for a living creature so that it doesn't suffer and him not showing his girlfriends boundaries (even if it doesn't bother him or our friend, just me) when it comes to decent behaviour when in company of other people.
​
If I missed some info you might require, please let me know. I'm a bit upset right now, can't quite sort my thoughts.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
Z2caWIi4V9uDWiKG3Y03gEbvGRrIvgXV
|
ank6ll
|
{
"description": "not wanting to hang out with my Mom every single Sunday",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to hang out with my Mom every single Sunday?
|
Ok guys, help me out here. I legit want to know if I'm in the wrong here.
So, for context I was raised by an amazing single mother. It was always just the two of us growing up. She never dated, and we don't see our extended family a whole lot.
Now that I'm grown up (I'm 29) and living in my own house 5 minutes away from hers, we still have a close relationship. I call her every day and we chat for at least an hour per time. We hang out once a week, going for dinner and watching movies together usually. We have a great relationship, in my opinion. Sometimes she can be very (very) judgemental towards me and I find this draining, but what Mother isn't? (Conversely she would probably say that we have a great relationship too, but she wishes I would do more of what she tells me to do haha)
I really have only one complaint currently. It is that she only wants to hang out with me on Sundays, and she doesn't want to hang out other days. Not Saturday, not Monday, not Friday. Because "Sunday is for family", so she expects me to set aside Sundays for her. She is ok with the odd exception, but generally acts like I'm doing something wrong if I want to hang out with her a different day and do something else on Sunday (this could be anything from wanting to spend the day by myself, to going to a game night with friends)
She is retired and is free to hang out with me multiple other nights per week. There is no logical reason why it has to be Sunday (for example, if both of our schedules interfered with one another and Sunday was the only one that worked well, then I'd have no complaints)
My issue with it is the rigidity. She says that Sunday is for family. Never mind that it is only the two of us that would be hanging out, so if we're both free then we can hang out literally whenever we want to. I have a boyfriend, and a very active social life. I want a life of flexibility where I can do whatever I want to on Sundays. I want to be able to go snowboarding with my boyfriend, go to a friend's birthday dinner, see that movie that everyone is going to AND have dinner with my Mom sometimes. For about a year I tried hanging out with my Mom every Sunday and honestly, it made me miserable. It took something that I otherwise really enjoy (spending time with my Mom) and turned it into a restrictive thing that felt like a task. I decided that I just couldn't do it anymore, I wasn't happy, and missed out on so many other invites that I didn't have to.
Thank you for reading!
​
Tl;dr My Mom thinks that I should reserve every single Sunday to hang out with her and acts like the other days I want to hang out are inferior. I would like to do whatever I want to on Sundays, and think the whole "Sunday is for family" thing is ridiculous and illogical.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
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}
|
RIGHT
|
gKSWP7PTZe9uhqYex4rJM4UjgWRQ8408
|
b0dk60
| null |
AITA for this petty revenge
|
So I go to a gym near my house that over the past 6 months has exploded in popularity (only large scale gym around). Theres two parking lots, one close to the door and another behind the building (maybe 100M from the furthest spot to the door).
​
So lately its been very cold and the close parking in the front fills up very quick and people will wait around for a spot since the turnover is usually quick . However, I guess some people are impatient as lately people have just begun to park wherever they can stick their car. On the side walk, grass area (covered in snow atm) and even on a cross walk area that leads to a ramp that leads to the door (effectively blocking access). This last offence especially annoyed me since I have a quad uncle and accessibility is always an issue without some douche parking his car somewhere he shouldn't because he can't walk \~50m. it started off here and there and now consistently there is always someone blocking that ramp entrance. I spoke to the manager of the gym and they said "they would look into it" with a tone that said to me.....whatever. So I decided to take matters into my own hands. I bought some window markers (the ones you can easily wipe off) and every time I came and saw someone park there, I'd write on their driver side window" thank you for parking like a douche". I kept this up for nearly 3 weeks and rarely do i see people park their now.
​
So im feeling pretty good and I tell my girlfriend and she does not have the reaction i was hoping for and proceeds to ream out for being a douche myself. Was I?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
2GvWDiRMINMaiCCkQT8ffnKPUU3g8TSW
|
ax1ewm
|
{
"description": "telling my gf she is immature and then being told I dont consider her feelings",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for telling my gf she is immature and then being told I dont consider her feelings?
|
TL;DR gf hates to be wrong.
Backstory: my girlfriend and I have been together for almost a year. Every now and then she feels that I dont consider her feelings even though I do but because sometimes I disagree with her I suddenly dont care about her or her feelings. I have told her that she has been emotionally and verbally abusive and has denied it or try to reflect it back to me.
Recently I have been buying more weed than ive had to because she has been smoking it all. This past paycheck she finally had money to pitch in and I picked up as she was busy at an event for school. I decided to have a hit and she got mad because I told her I did so. I told her shes being a bit immature considering how much she has been smoking and is saying I didn't consider her feelings after telling her that I dont think im wrong for taking a hit after shes smoked through an entire oz basically.
What do, Reddit?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
EVERYBODY
|
{
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|
WRONG
|
tbqYs9iyuvxvgmwJN0hLZ8uuPixBJmqD
|
b5ypok
|
{
"description": "trying to talk to my wife during her shows",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 14
}
|
AITA for trying to talk to my wife during her shows?
|
My wife is the bread winner in our relationship. I have medical issues that prevent me working full time at my current job. I have another job lined up, a full-time job starting next month. It's an office job, not a physically active one so I should be okay.
Back on track, it's one of her 2 days off today and one of the days I work. It's been a rough couple of days for my medical conditions so I took off a little early from work. I got home and my wife was deep into her T.V. show. Instead of bugging her, I went to take a nap, later got a snack, watched youtube videos for a while. Eventually I mentioned to her that I wanted to talk about my new position. She responds:
"Can we do it *later*, I'm watching .y shows."
I reply: "Excuse me for wanting to have a conversation with my wife about something."
She says: "You know I never get time like this, I'm watching my shows!"
I respond: "Did I not fuck off for hours so you could have some time watching your T.V. shit? Sorry for wanting to have a 15 min conversation with my fucking wife."
She rolled her eyes and we've been sitting in silence since. Am I the Asshole? Should I just accept that when these days come up, I'm basically nonexistent?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 0,
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 14
}
|
WRONG
|
jmEsDzCrrIvh1rGTgQ77J2Up9fFlVenl
|
b3ygzv
|
{
"description": "telling my friend that the reason as to why he got good grades is since he had special ed",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for telling my friend that the reason as to why he got good grades is since he had special ed.
|
Long story short, my friend kept taunting me with him telling me who got a higher score than you? My friend also taunted my other friend by telling him who had the highest gpa. I decided to ignore him until today since he always insulted my friend and I and It became intolerable so I decided to tell him that the reason he got good grades was due to his special ed classes and the reason he got a better grade in an English test was due to pure pity of the teacher.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 8
}
|
WRONG
|
BrHSXXQoXgou5DyjNimpGjWY5jS1KnsU
|
aabtck
|
{
"description": "not helping my classmates",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I don't help my classmates?
|
Hey, I go to engineering high school, last year we were learning how to use a program called AutoCAD Civil 3D. Our teacher was kinda bad. It felt like he wasn't really sure how to work in that program. And this year we have a big project that we need to do in order to pass our last year in high school. We can either draw it on paper with ruler and pencil - that would take weeks - calculating everything, creating about 40-50 cross sections etc.. Or we can do it in a program that nobody really knows how to work with. I liked the challenge so I watched tons of youtube guides and I'm already finished with my project. We still have 3 months before submitting it.
There are 15 other students in that class. I'm friend with like 3 of them. But now everybody expects me to help them. And by helping them they mean to do it for them. And I don't really feel like doing somebody else's work for free. Does that make me the asshole? Also English is not my first language, sorry for my grammar.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
a9HT3AR1LttlCT61wIh7V0wImYSOGCJI
|
b0auol
|
{
"description": "being resentful? future in-laws collecting on an inherited loan to my fiancé",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 20
}
|
AITA for being resentful? Future in-laws collecting on an inherited loan to my fiancé.
|
Before we met, my fiancé Brad went to college; his parents did not contribute financially. So in addition to government loans, Brad took out an informal, low-interest loan from his grandfather to help pay for school. After graduation, Brad's uncle, who was in charge of Brad's grandfather's money, suggested that he address the government loans before repaying the private loan.
After paying off the government loans, Brad started paying off the loan from his grandfather, at which point his grandfather died. Brad's uncle divided the estate between his siblings and shorted Brad's parents the outstanding loan. Now Brad's parents are calling in to collect.
The balance is somewhat less than my non-retirement savings since I left undergrad, a few years before Brad did. I anticipate repaying the loan in full after the wedding, but it'll set us back on getting a house at least five years.
I've expressed my feelings to Brad, a few close friends and my family; everyone but Brad seems to be pretty unimpressed by his parents. There's some growing resentment on my part, for a handful of reasons:
* they intend to use the money to supplement the retirement they ignored for the last 20+ years
* the collected sum will have almost no effect on their retirement's overall trajectory, but *would* have a significant effect on ours
* Brad's parents were unwilling to contribute to his education, but have no issues with collecting money they never really earned in the first place because of it
...we should talk to a lawyer. But aside from the legal aspect, I'd like to know if I'm being commonsensically unreasonable -- AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 19,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 2
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 20
}
|
WRONG
|
2Xh6cOlZg7mYCNaszn4litjWaZ2QllKg
|
aszn9i
|
{
"description": "telling a friend I was just starting to date to reconsider distancing herself",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for telling a friend I was just starting to date to reconsider distancing herself?
|
First of all, I should establish things:
I should point out that I'm only asking if what I did was wrong, ik other person is NTA, I'm basically seeing if the judgement is "yta" or "nah". If INFO is needed then I'll provide it to limits.
My friend (F16, let's call her Tiff) and I (M18) have known each other for a 9 months-1 year, the reason I am unsure of how long it was is because we barely hung out in the past. We've only been starting to talk to each other more often recently and we were surprised at how much in common we have, things lead to things and we started getting closer, this was also happening at a vulnerable moment in my life because I have lost two close friends of mine of three years..
We aren't official and Tiff's seemed happy with things so far, I should point out that we haven't gotten past first base, just in case someone points out if the sexual chemistry was lacking or anything, anyways, she told me a bit about an ex-boyfriend of hers who's been harassing her recently, from what I can tell he's pretty toxic and I feel sorry for what she went through, he's making new accounts in an attempt to win her back and he bothers her a lot, I point this out because he, along with a few bad experiences with boys in the past, is the reason she's uncomfortable with a relationship, I understand where she's coming from since I had a pretty awful experience with an ex in the past, I was a bit obsessive back then (I was 16) and I pushed her away.. but since then I've matured and even talked it out with my ex months later. I told her about that story, so this may be a factor.
I've been getting to know her friends lately, in an attempt to get closer and help her be more comfortable with things in case that helps (and also to meet new friends ig)
Today she told me that she wants to take some time off of each other.. she thinks that we're going too fast, I got a bit panicky because I was upset to hear this.. but I didn't want to upset her, so I didn't show it (I'm not a very expressive person so it wasn't hard), I told her how much she meant to me, and asked her to think about it for a while before deciding, maybe sleeping on it.. I should point out that I told her the reason taking time off would be unfavorable is because I feel like there is some strong chemistry going on, and breaking it apart for a while will just kill things, she tells me the reason she wants to break things is because she's unsure about things because of how fast they've been, she reassured me it wasn't because of the guy in the past, but just her being conflicted with feelings, she seemed like she was blaming herself for this cause of what I said.. and I reassured her that whatever decision she made, we could still be friends, we still enjoyed hanging out with each other, but she still seemed upset..
I feel like I put pressure on her to make a decision, so... AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
WRONG
|
6v2pJUqkwR0K5HBUKP1oN4fYQSIB82QV
|
ata9ut
|
{
"description": "ignoring my mother in a car when she was deliberatly insulting my transgender friend",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for ignoring my mother in a car when she was deliberatly insulting my transgender friend?
|
Long story short my mother is a very conservative Christian and she believes I am as well (I'm not. I've been agnostic since high school). Recently I was home from college for a couple days and was picking up my sister from a friend's house with my mother in the car.
I mentioned that my transgender friend lived just down the same road but they were moving, because my parents want to move out to that area. She then started asking if said friend was transgender and calling him her, asking questions about when he transitioned and acting disgusted about the whole thing.
I corrected her twice and then stopped responding to her until we picked my sister up and she changed the topic but she was clearly put out and offended that I wasn't responding.
The next day she brought it up again when we were alone in the car and I just turned the radio on and stopped talking. She got more and more upset until she asked me "doesn't this bother you spiritually?" To which I responded no, it doesn't and even if it did it wouldn't change my feelings toward him or my support for him.
Since he's moving to a street nearby my parents house where I will be living this summer and seeing him regularly I've been thinking about telling her not to say anything about transgender people or his situation if she sees him but I don't know if that would be too far and I don't want backlash from that to affect him.
Am I the asshole here? Should I have been less rude?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
ILgd3mDHBQl6t9R5Vak0PaVUxNWCr9A5
|
b0kk0a
|
{
"description": "not wanting my roommates to get another dog",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting my roommates to get another dog?
|
TLDR My roommates got a second dog without asking as I'm allergic I told them that it was super disrespectful and they should return it or compensate me in some way. They returned it but are making it out like I'm the bad guy.
So two weeks ago my roommate and I were talking about when our lease was over and what we were gonna do I said I was gonna probably move. He said he wanted to stay and have both rooms to him and his wife and that they wanted to get a second dog after my partner and I moved out. I said as long as it's after we move out totally cool with me.
Fast forward to last weekend they texted our group chat saying that they were looking at puppies in the area. And sent us a pic of the puppy they wanted and asked if we were cool with them bringing it home. We told them we could discuss later that night and come to a decision then.
I lay down to sleep after work day when my partner wakes me up saying that our roommates had come home with the puppy. So I get out of bed so we can all have a conversation with them about it. Now I'm not gonna lie I was pretty pissed seeing as I'm allergic to dogs and it's not hypoallergenic unlike their other dog. But I was calm when speaking to them, I told them it was incredibly disrespectful that they brought the dog into the apartment without asking and that they shouldn't have done it and that as I pay half rent I have the right to say I don't want another dog in the apartment. They said okay and they would return it.
The next afternoon we text them asking when the dog was going to be headed back. They said we needed to talk about it. So they come out and flat out say no the dog is not leaving and that they're gonna just leave it in their room the whole time. Now other than the fact that the poor dog would be stuck in a small room, they already said that about their previous dog which they let out of their room all the time. So we firmly say that's not gonna work. And they just leave.
Two days later we text them saying hey we gotta be compensated in some way or you need to return the dog. They say that they are going to return the dog and that we are awful people because the two dogs are getting along so well.
So they returned the dog to my knowledge and we've just been ignoring each other ever since. So AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 16,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 16,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
kHpC007Ghb8y6KKnyKApEkgr7s3bTy3p
|
b5vis1
|
{
"description": "saying \"I dont care\" to my one year old",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for saying "i dont care" to my one year old?
|
My girlfriend and i were getting ready to go to the grocery store and our 16 month old daughter is playing with her baby alive. We kept trying to get shoes on her feet but she'd wiggle away to go back to her toy. Eventually i get tired of the back and forth so i take the toy and tell her she can have it back when we get back home. My daughter doesnt know very many words but she loves to back talk and give attitude, so shes fussing at ne for taking her toy and i say "i dont care, you can have it back when we get home". I thought i was being perfectly normal until my girlfriend starts getting mad at ne telling me not to say "i dont care" to our daughter. This completely blew my mind as ive been saying it and ive never gotten this kind of reaction. I ask why I cant say "i dont care" and her response is "look it up". I personally am not a fan of "going with the flow" especially when it comes to parenting, it just feels to me like one of those things where you just gotta do it how you do it because thats the beauty of it.
I honestly feel like i didnt do anything wrong and shes just overreacting, but im here to ask.
Am i the asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
GyaBlIyU3WoTXy5wj1UgyUSBZ8pAKAPy
|
a5mihm
|
{
"description": "not giving an employee Christmas off",
"pronormative_score": 29,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for not giving an employee Christmas off.
|
So relatively recently I've taken on a management position with a larger company. One of my responsibilities is scheduling and handling my departments vacation requests. I told everyone November first I wanted all December time off approved in advance, obviously it's a popular season to take off and I don't feel like juggling schedules all month. This seemed well received and understood until last week when a girl abruptly told me she needed time off. At first she just said it was to spend time with her family, but I told her up front its probably not happening, and seeing were closed for 3 days anyways she'd still have some time off. Fast forward to today and she asks again, I say no and then 2 hours later there's no a sob story about her dying grandma. Thing is NOBODY can cover said time except myself, and I've already bought flight tickets back home. She calls me an asshole and heartless and storms off. So am I the asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 28,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 29,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
eUlJAIEhmNozHjyNBJi936xcEfFc38s9
|
9wn7p7
|
{
"description": "constantly getting mad at my best(?) friend for ditching me",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for constantly getting mad at my best(?) friend for ditching me?
|
Basically, we're in the time of year where we decide our important subjects for the next year, and we'd both decided that we would take Legal Studies together. However, he has another best(?) friend that he's known for longer than he's known me, and basically he decided to take the class schedules that fit with the other guy, meaning that he was NOT in my class with me.
Now, I got really annoyed with him after that and blew off at him over text, because he is a really non-confrontational guy and hates making decisions until it's very late. It's a class for two years and he's been in classes with the other guy for maybe 3 years in a row and never with me, so FIRSTLY, I was really angry that he basically picked the other guy over me and chose to go with him over me.
He'd led me on the entire time into thinking he would take the class with me (to spare my feelings and not be straight with me), which has led to us not being in the class together.
From then on, I pestered him constantly and brought it up very often, telling him to change the schedule to fit everybody's, but he never made the initiative and its reached the stage of the year where it's almost completely impossible to change the schedules for the classes.
Now, I know he's not completely evil. If he hadn't "ditched" me, then he would have had to "ditch" the other guy. But I constantly asked him to find a workaround with the guy, so everyone was happy, but that never happened, and now I'm supremely annoyed.
I still bring it up repeatedly to make him feel bad. Is that bad? We've discussed it a lot, but I feel like he doesn't feel guilty enough and doesn't see my point of view clearly. I feel as if he hasn't made it up to me. Other situations similar to this where he takes ages to make a decision which eventually leaves everybody worser off have happened before.
Almost every single time I text him, I repeatedly get mad and bring it up to him.
AITA here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
D7U0sQlTBU4MGRjcveIOi9qHKhaDLRpr
|
alafno
|
{
"description": "my neighbor taking my cat and expecting me to pay for food & vet bills, when it doesn't even come over anymore",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For my neighbor taking my cat and expecting me to pay for food & vet bills, when it doesn't even come over anymore?
|
We have a pretty old Persian cat who our Neighbor who has just up and taken him, now don't get me wrong, she is a very sweet old woman and her husband has cancer, she has always loved the cat but I think this has just gone a bit too far. The cat had recently started coming over less and less, not eating her food or anything, we later learned after a big cat fight, that our neighbor had taken it up to herself to feed her and home her. She was very worried about her and thought she might've sustained serious injury (She was fine, just a few scruffs) she expected us to buy her the food that she now eats. Which explains why she didn't eat her current food, and of course it is the most expensive and smallest, she also went on to say if anything happens to her, she'll rush her straight back here so we can whizz him off the to vet. I'm still probably gonna end up giving her the food and all that, but AITA for not wanting to pay for my cat since she doesn't even come here now and wont even come to her own name. (She renamed her Jessy) A person at the vet told us that she essentially owns the cat now, since it doesn't technically live here anymore.
This is in Florida btw
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
4HxXgDb2cAJYYE6MhRRTZ8ISz69HQKhC
|
b33304
|
{
"description": "looking for future roommates that don't cook meat in the house",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I looked for future roommates that don't cook meat in the house?
|
I am currently looking for housing because I am moving, and I'd like to rent out a room or an apartment to share with others. I'm going to be posting on craigslist/facebook looking for roommates. I was wondering WIBTA if I included "I prefer if the roommates don't cook meat in the house."
I really can't stand the smell of meat being cooked. Especially if it's something like pork, the smell is so strong that I have to leave the common area, close all the doors, and air it out. I would like to avoid this if possible. But would it seem like I am a high maintenance/bad roommate for this request? Obviously ideally I would find people who are vegetarian. I'm not trying to force people not to cook meat if that's what they wanna do -- I just don't want to live with them.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
LoA5DQ144nOaYjfNU2vY9fGngF6hb2bV
|
ba88lz
|
{
"description": "cutting my brother out of my life",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I cut my brother out of my life.
|
I love my brother, I really do, I've known him all my life and although I've not been close to him (mostly because he has some form of autism) I want the best for him.
However he has changed recently and have surrounded himself with nothing but toxic people.
He has recently found out our dad is not his biological dad and his bio dad was abusive to our mother and wanted to abort him. Despite this he has resorted to calling our dad "step dad" or calling him by his name. Our dad acts like nothing is wrong but I can tell it hurts him.
He has a wedding coming up but his fiance is just awful, for example she told our mum that if she doesn't pay money for a DNA test (something they need to change my brothers last name) then she will stop her from seeing her child when they are born. Not only that but they are not inviting our dad (to the wedding) because he told his fiance off for threatening my mum.
Because of this many of our family members (aunties, uncles, nans) think its wrong to go without my dad. He's responded to this by telling them he will cut them out of his life if they don't attend because they are being negative.
He mentioned all this on a huge family group chat (containing our family and her family) this was all after his fiance and her family members were bitching about my 15 year old sister (on the group chat) because she doesn't want to go unless our dad goes.
When one of our uncles called him up to tell him how the message upset him he yelled at him down the phone. Someone that it's entirely uncharacteristic of him before he met his fiance
I want to support him I really do but with everything that's happened I don't know. Her family is horrible and he's acting horrible with them, he's splitting our family apart and is both acting like he wants his family in his life and is threatening to cut them out.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
h25YN5JjURdz6mreG9iJVlmhoaO2kfAc
|
ae2owo
|
{
"description": "getting in to an argument about an Amazon Alexa with the missus",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA For getting in to an argument about an Amazon Alexa with the missus?
|
It's 3AM and I'm currently downstairs on the sofa so you can guess how this one panned out.
So my argument is this; it's always listening so surely it can pick up everything else. I have a pretty sensitive job with regards to things I shouldn't be saying in to a direct feed to the WiFi and I don't really want to have my privacy taken from me.
She's wanting to buy one and explained that I'd rather not have one in the house for the above reasons. Long story short, I got laughed at and called an idiot. I responded with "Anyone who has one in their house is an idiot" she then fired back with "My mum has one.." and I finished the conversation off with "Well that proves my point lass."
It's a leather sofa and I can't sleep with a cold ass.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 6,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
M9xbki9jg9cjVki5XU0jJKrvcd3OyXn8
|
ao480z
| null |
AITA? Am I stealing from a non-profit?
|
I just got a raise at work, and its wayyyy higher than it was supposed to be. I work for a small non-profit (not a charity but an association), and there are only two other people on the payroll. I was supposed to get a small yearly raise, but every paycheck has gone up by a lot. I haven't said anything about this because I'm finally able to pay off my student debt and quit my second job.
AITA for not reporting this? Or is it not my fault that the money goes straight into my account and I "just didn't notice the amount"?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 8
}
|
WRONG
|
PuLkLKyuTwJl8rhQ0gngJetBS4jILQN4
|
b0swec
|
{
"description": "telling my best friend and his girlfriend to stop being affectionate at my house",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I told my best friend and his girlfriend to stop being affectionate at my house?
|
Background my best friend who I’ve known since we were both 7 (we’re 17 now) has recently started dating this girl which I don’t mind at all since she’s a amazing person and another good friend.
They come to my house often and it’s fun since we bring food and watch movies. However recently they’ve been getting super affectionate at my house not making out but doing that thing where they peck their lips together a dozen or so times, whisper in each other’s ear when I’m right next to them, or be super cuddly with each other.
For whatever reason It makes me super uncomfortable and not want to invite them over. So would I be the asshole if I told them to stop being affectionate at my house? I don’t want them to think I’m saying that because of the sole fact I’m single and saying stuff like that, I also don’t want them to be mad at me.
Thank you all in advance and I hope you all have wonderful days
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
XOek7MzEyp1YAx2xsQgQu0OoNoZfSPGR
|
ae3z3h
|
{
"description": "giving my friend my \"brutally honest opinion\" on him hanging out with highschoolers",
"pronormative_score": 32,
"contranormative_score": 14
}
|
AITA for giving my friend my "brutally honest opinion" on him hanging out with highschoolers.
|
Close mate of mine just got out of a relationship around the same time I did, so we've been supporting eachother through our pains and bullshit. He mentioned something to me about how he felt like he needed to hang out with friends more often and I agreed with him, because he really closed in on himself during his breakup.
My buddy is 19, we graduated last year. For some reason, the only people he hangs out with are highschoolers??
I mean, I can see it. not to rag on the guy but in all realness, he's pretty immature; no job, parents paying for college in full, lives at home with no fees and he even still recieves an allowance. (all things I've noticed as weird but wrote them off because they have no impact on me at all lmao)
None of these things have meant anything, until recently, he got kinda worried about his image and asked me if it was weird that he's hanging out with these people. He also asked me to be as brutally honest as possible, because, in his words I am "more mature and I know more about this stuff" than he does.
I said I understood where he was coming from, him and his GF were pretty much eachothers best friend, and these people he's hanging out with are from the same club we were all in in highschool, and some of them are people we went to school with for a year or so, and it's always cool to talk to people with similar interests-
-but I also told him my honest opinion, which is that by hanging out with people who are up to 4 years younger then you, you aren't going to learn from them and you aren't challenging yourself. I basically said they're probably cool to hang out with but you've gotta adult sometimes, and that's not possible if you're spending all of your time hanging out with 16 year olds and going to class.
He got mad at me and called me an asshole and said I was jealous that he had friends
lolwut
he then told me that "this is why /ex BF/ left me" and "don't talk to him ever again"
yikes man, I was just trying to be real.
Thanks if you read this far. opinions/feedback appreciated.
TL:DR - Friend is going through breakup and associates with highschoolers as his sole friend group. He asks for my "brutally honest" opinion, I tell him it's alright that they're his friends but that he's not gonna progress if he continues to associate with them in this way, he gets mad, tells me never to talk to him again.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 13,
"OTHER": 26,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 32,
"WRONG": 14
}
|
RIGHT
|
kimcB6vlCxoaVewF8s93E3lID9v9x6Du
|
a369km
|
{
"description": "signing a coworker up for an annoying wakeup call service after she lied to get me in trouble",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
WIBTA for signing a coworker up for an annoying wakeup call service after she lied to get me in trouble
|
context story is a bit long sorry:
I work as a shuttle driver, driving employees from a corporate building lot to the grocery store they work at. we don't have a defined schedule, they employees sign-in their hours when they take the shuttle and we come and pick them up at the time that they specify. A round trip from the lot to the store takes around 10 minutes.
one day I had two people (John and Tammy) getting off at 4:30 and one person getting off at 4:45 (Sam). I get there about a minute early and John comes out and gets in the shuttle pretty quickly, a bit after the clock turns 4:30. we wait several minutes and Tammy does not show up. when it turns 4:38 I think maybe Tammy just got caught up with something, it happens at a grocery store can't help it, John has already been waiting in my car for nearly 10 minutes even though he came out on time and I will likely be late picking up Sam if I don't leave now. So I figure if Tammy wants to take her time she can wait and be picked up with Sam.
I take John back to the lot and I'm about halfway back (about 4:14 now) when I get a call from the store, which I answer since the car has bluetooth for handsfree. it's Tammy complaining that she's had to wait. I'm a little annoyed because since she obviously wasn't out when I left the store last she could not have been waiting more than 5 minutes from when she called me, almost half the time John had to wait for her, but I just tell her my current location/time estimate and we end the call.
I get to the store about 4:46, Tammy gets in and I let her know we have to wait for Sam. Shes upset so I explain my thought process to her but she doesnt really have a choice but to wait. Sam gets in and we leave around 4:49, getting back to the lot around 4:54-55.
Later I get a text from my my manager that I got a complaint, it was from Tammy. I explain that her being late would put out 2 people who were getting out in a reasonable amount of time, so I chose the path of the least inconvenience for everyone. My manager tells me "It wouldn't have been a problem if you had come back to the store as soon as possible." I was confused, because I did do that. It turns out Tammy lied and said she had to wait a full half-hour before I showed up. If Tammy did not come out of the store until after 4:38, and I took her away from the store at around 4:49, there's no way this is possible.
I was reprimanded, I now have to wait a full 10 minutes after the time the employee writes on the sheet (this I don't mind since it was an order from the manager, if somebody complains due to issues coming from this I wouldn't consider it my fault) but the thing I'm more angry about is that she wildly exaggerated the time she had to wait to get me in trouble. at the time that this happened I was only a couple of weeks into starting at this position (previously in the store) and I'm not very confident in my job security because not a lot of people take the shuttle so I was genuinely worried someone saying they had to wait a half an hour could cost me my job.
the other day I was just scrolling through random sites and I read some story about a lady who had a boss she hated or something like that so she used his number to sign up for a wake up call service set to call him at 5 a.m. every morning for a certain amount of time. at first I was like haha funny, but the more I think about it I think it's a good idea. I have Tammy's number since she has used her personal phone instead of the store phone to contact me about the shuttle a couple weeks after the incidents. Its relatively harmless, she can cancel the calls on her end, but has the potential to be very annoying especially if I sign her up multiple times. the very least she deserves is losing some sleep.
WIBTA if I got back at her this way?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "getting upset at my boyfriend for choosing video games over me",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for getting upset at my boyfriend for choosing video games over me?
|
He invites me over and waits for me to bring up things to do, grills me whether I actually want to do them, and usually complains that he’s only doing the thing because of me. So today I came over and silently watched him play Laura Craft for hours in silence. He smoked a few blunts and twice came over to screw me for a few minutes and right back to video games and a rolling blunts without making much conversation. Then his friend called and he brought up them going to a bar later that night. Now I know I should have spoken up but God damnit why did he invite me over if that’s all he wants!?!? I eventually told him I’m bored and he said “what do you want to do” and I responded that I want him to want to do something and he told me I don’t make any sense. Then I left and he’s sending me upset messages that I’m being manipulative. To clarify we’ve been together three years and only see each other one evening a week since we both have busy jobs.
AITA for expecting him to pay attention to me without me asking?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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aeey0e
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{
"description": "hating my braces and wanting to get them removed, but my being firm",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA I hate my braces and want to get them removed, but my Mom is firm.
|
Recently I went to the dentist and they referred me to the orthodontist for a twisted molar. So we made an appointment and I had some x-rays and examinations done. Afterwards we went into the orthos office and she first complimented my teeth and said that they were almost perfect. She then went on to say that I have an 8 (mm?) Overbite and that I'd need a bite plate and have braces for three years.
I was crushed. Immediately started crying as soon as we left the office and had a major drop in confidence and motivation. It took me a while, but I came to terms and by the time I had to get them on it didn't seem too bad.
It was awful. The bite plate is huge and gives me a terrible lisp. And God it's just so painful. As soon as I got into the car I became a mess. And when I got home it was even worse, everytime i tried to talk or look at myself I would descend into a sobbing heap.
But it's not entirely that I look incredibly stupid, it's that I sound incredibly stupid. I have to talk much slower to even attempt to talk understandably, and even then I still sound like a 5 year old without front teeth.
And as an actor in training this hits me even harder. I am forced to miss an event that I've been preparing for for about two months, because I sound much too ridiculous to be in character during my sad, serious song. To be honest though, I'm a bit grateful, because I was so nervous, but this is taking away a spectacular learning and networking opportunity.
Obviously all of this has very much upset me, but it's only been one day since I've gotten them. This paired with the fact that I completely dont understand WHY I need braces, because my teeth are better than most people I know.
So I've been absolutely begging my mother to let me get them taken off. I honestly just dont feel like the pain is worth it, (mainly because I don't want to live past 30.) But shes standing firm
She completely believes that I need braces and if I dont deal with them now I'm going to be completely screwed in the future. To be clear, I think she only thinks this because she never got braces "and never had parents that loved her enough to get her braces. She thinks that I'm being incredibly ungrateful and when she finally gave in to asking the orthos to get rid if my braces, she yelled at me to never ask for help when I'm an adult with jacked teeth.
Out of guilt I compromised and told her that if it wasn't better by a month that I'm getting them off. Unfortunately for me, my acting final is in a 2 weeks and so is the student talent show. Not to mention my 16th birthday present, Dear Evan Hansen tickets.
I deeply regret getting braces and I'm scared I'm not going to get used to them in time to be able to maintain my grade in acting.
My mother doesn't understand my problems because hers were so much worse as a kid, so she just thinks I'm being an ungrateful prick. But I dont think I need and definitely dont want braces, which I made clear to her since I was told I needed them. She basically forced me to get them, and I didn't fight back because I didn't want to get in another blowout with her. And now everytime I hear myself talk I remain on the verge of tears because I hate it so much.
AITA for not appreciating my braces?
|
HISTORICAL
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NOBODY
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RIGHT
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abh4kl
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{
"description": "not calling my dad right at midnight",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For not calling my dad right at midnight?
|
On mobile right now so you know the rest.
My parents are going through a fucked up divorce right now and can have very little to do with each other without it blowing up into a huge fight. I'm with my mom for New Year's and at her friend's house. My mom didn't want me on the phone with him because she wanted me there to celebrate with her and didn't want my Dad associated with the situation. If I did call she would've been mad and I didn't want to be in the middle of that. Because she felt that way, being on the phone with him right then would've been a bad idea and would've caused an argument, so I was going to call him 10-15 minutes after midnight. He was mad about that and felt it unfair that he couldn't be on the phone with me at midnight. I then got to ring in the new year with a 1.5 hour long argument with my dad over the phone. Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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asufba
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{
"description": "not letting my nephew play video games when he came over to my house",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 11
}
|
AITA for not letting my nephew play video games when he came over to my house?
|
TL;DR I told my nephew he wasn't allowed to play video games the next time he was at my place. The next time he was over he sulked and cried when he wasn't allowed to. My fiancée eventually let him play.
My fiancée has two nephews who are 9 (who I will call 'S') and 12. I've known them for years and think of them as my nephews now too. Like most kids their age they are obsessed with youtube and, S especially, video games. A couple of weeks ago while we were all hanging out together, we somehow started talking about things that annoy us. I mentioned I hate it when people tickle my ears, so naturally S immediately went to tickle my ears. I pulled away and said "for every time you tickle my ears, that's one time you're not allowed to play video games when you come to our house." We were all laughing and joking around when this was being said, but I did say I was being serious. S still tickled my ears so I said no video games and that was that.
Last weekend, my fiancée's family came over to our house. This included the two nephews and her two younger cousins. They all went downstairs to play games and I reminded S that he wasn't allowed to play. The two cousins were playing smash on the switch and the 12yo was watching YouTube on a phone. S wanted to play the VR, so it's not like he was being especially social. When he was told "no" he went upstairs and shut himself away in a bedroom and cried for a bit. This led to my fiancée telling me I was being an asshole and I should let him play, because "everyone else is". I eventually let him play because it wasn't worth the arguments at the time and my fiancée was getting a bit angry with me. Cut to yesterday and S is still being quiet cold and not really talking to me.
So am I an asshole? Was I being too harsh expecting a punishment, talked about half in jest, to actually be carried out?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
1AbAHuiulIluv5b2ZMfdAuj3VMDRaYuk
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am9t1t
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{
"description": "getting frustrated at my boyfriend for his everyday sounds",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for getting frustrated at my boyfriend for his everyday sounds?
|
My boyfriend and I have been together for 8.5 months. Lately, I’ve been getting frustrated increasingly frequently over hearing smacking and slurping noises.
It really really frustrates me that I have these issues with noise. Some noises literally infuriate me, making my blood boil. I have the problem of misophonia since I was young, and most of the time I remove myself from the situation if I can’t tolerate it - the problem is my boyfriend and I have been spending everyday together.
I’m disgusted when he burps in front of me and I can smell it. Yesterday he probably burped 20 times. Sometimes even his coughing bothers me. When these things happen, I’m disgusted, and infuriated. And I hate that such simple, silly things make me so angry.
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
cPNkBsGwE3X9mTwapB5a9pMtjah2DrxI
|
b4ppmg
|
{
"description": "being upset that my family can't do simple things",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for being upset that my family can’t do simple things?
|
AITA for being mad that we can’t do anything simple in my family.
We planned on going out today but the places chosen where either too expensive for five people or too far away (even tho an hour and twenty minutes isn’t far but whatever). So we scratched going out and decided on staying home and watching a movie with my little brother to make him happy. I was upset about that bc I wanted to go out, and I don’t ever really like going out my house. I only leave for school.
Anyways, my sister and I decided on going to ihop and then to the movies to watch Us later tonight.
It’s already 7:28 and we haven’t done anything. I’ve been in bed all day, my family hasn’t left the house all day, and my aunt and cousin came over.
I wanted to watch this movie over an hour ago with my brother so we can leave and go to ihop and have time to make the 10 o’clock screening. Ihop closes at 11, and I don’t feel like watching a movie in the hood theater at 11:30 because my family can’t leave the house or do anything right.
My sister just asked me if we have to go to ihop. I want to yell. Because yes I want to fucking go with her already and have a sister date with her. But no. Can’t go to ihop even tho I’ve been craving it ode. I don’t mean to sound spoiled but, all day I’ve been trying to make plans and none of them happened. None, zip. Zero.
And I ask my family a simple question like “do you want to watch Us with us?” And I either get no answer or a dumbass one that has nothing to do with my question.
So now apparently we might not even go watch the damn movie. This family is just a huge worthless headache.
So, do I have the right, and AITA for getting mad at all my families bullshit?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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INFO
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{
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WRONG
|
EvNhWjdFwWtPRW5wvWdRV8HGTo7RL1l5
|
b5ydeh
|
{
"description": "not passing (while running) on the wrong side of the path",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not passing (while running) on the wrong side of the path?
|
Okay so this happened in August of 2018 but I think about it all the time still. I was running home from work one day and was on this portion of the path that is along the edge of a drop off down to the beach (not far, \~2-3 meters). I was approaching a woman walking in the middle of the path going the same direction as I was running, and loudly said "on your right". As I ran passed her, she moved to her right, misunderstanding which direction I said I was coming. When she moved over, she pushed into me and knocked me down the drop off from the path onto the rocks on the beach where I fell. I climbed back up, my knee dripping in blood, and she just looked at me and started frantically yelling "What were you thinking, you should only ever pass someone on the left hand side! Faster traffic is always on the left, why would you run to the right of me?" In the moment I had no response to this but shock and just said "Jesus, OKAY" and turned and kept running.
I would have been 100% fine if she had apologized for pushing me down the hill and would have understood that maybe I should have been slower or gone to the other side of the path or whatever but it just drives me insane that she yelled at me! My knee still has a fat scar on it from the fall and I couldn't put any weight on it for a week after that - had to cancel major camping/hiking plans because of it.
​
TLDR: I was running and said "on your right" but the woman misheard me and assumed I would be passing on the left then pushed me down a hill and got mad at me.
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
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b37h4t
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{
"description": "dumping my boyfriend because he hasn't proposed",
"pronormative_score": 41,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
WIBTA for dumping my boyfriend because he hasn't proposed?
|
We just passed the six year mark. We've discussed marriage a few times, he knows it's what I want. I feel like I'm done waiting. He proposed once while drunk three years ago and I told him yes- IF he asked while sober. He never did and he gets visibly uncomfortable when I even mention the word anymore and changes the subject.
I don't even want to bring it up anymore. I feel like I'm being dismissed for wanting marriage, like it's not a big deal. I feel like he just ignores that it IS a big deal to me. I'm falling out of love. I feel like what I want means nothing to him. I'm starting to resent him. I don't want to do an ultimatum. I told myself I'd leave at the five year mark if he was still avoiding the discussion but couldn't make myself do it. I don't want to make an ultimatum, it feels like I'd be forcing him into it and marriage should be 'fuck yes'.
Additional info: We have lived together five years. I worked more hours and a more stressful job than him for most of that time and supported him through a year and a half of unemployment, but have been responsible for all household chores the entire time, minus his laundry because apparently I never do it right. I prepare 90% of meals, if I don't feel like cooking we get fast food. I'm almost 30, he's just over 30. Last time I brought up the idea of getting married (during a discussion about being able to make medical decisions for each other after I was in a car accident) he told me he'd want a pre-nup out of nowhere. Neither of us wants kids so I'm not like, putting anything off by waiting.
I've started resenting him so much that I'm not even sure I'd say yes if he asked anymore because I don't believe he wants it.
WIBTH if I just broke up with him and moved out without having some sort of come to Jesus talk about it?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
D7yxTxq6cc1Yb0PWkTKfTET6fqbCFYKu
|
a51znr
|
{
"description": "cutting of a best friend over past events",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for cutting of a best friend over past events?
|
I have this best friend of over 8 years. This person has helped me at important times but has also hurt me. They are lazy to respond, stingy, and not respectful when I ask them to stop actions that hurt me. I generally am the one to reach out, apologoze, forgive, get gifts, maintain the friendship.
Sometimes we hang out and this person just sits on their phone the whole time. This is mostly in the past as well don't see each other a lot now - we dont live in the same city.
Still, something about their actions doesn't sit right with me. We're going to be in the same city and they will reach out to hang out, but I want to just ghost or say I am busy. I thought I forgave this person for doing things but now I think I don't want to.
One time I cried in the bathroom after and they and their friend had lashed out at me for not wanting to be at a concert. It got intense and made me uncomfortable. They hated me for it. That person admitted to me later I was being dramatic and attention seeking. I rarely cry in general.
Another time after I flew across the country to see this person. They didnt do anything special or make much time to see me even though I asked and they told me to come. They only would go out if I paid for food and told me they wanted gas money.
Those are two events that stick out. This person sometimes reaches out to me and tells me about their life but they don't respond to me when I reach out most of the time. I just don't feel like I gain anything anymore. I don't want to hurt them and I know that this would. They also deal with seasonal depression so does it make me an asshole to do this kind of out of the blue? Also if this person asks why I ghosted them, do I tell them the truth?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
jxK08IJ6HadaRgtZXgoWPACSS8i8uNQr
|
anmj13
|
{
"description": "sending my elementary school teacher a blistering letter 20 years after the fact",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for sending my elementary school teacher a blistering letter 20 years after the fact?
|
When I was in elementary school, I idolized my teacher Ms. W. Due to the small nature of the school I was in her class for four years. As far as I was concerned, that was tremendous luck because each day was a joy. Her son was a classmate of mine. We became close friends, and I spent many afternoons over at their house.
When I reached 7th grade, the school hired my mom to be the principal. She discovered some concerning things- none of the teachers had teaching licenses. Ms. W in fact did not even have a college degree, let alone a teaching degree. As you might imagine, it turns out the education students were receiving was not great. Standardized test scores had plummeted over the years. (My scores in particular, having been in Ms. W's class for four years were so bad that there was a serious risk that I would bomb the high school entrance exams. I was testing at a 5th grade level in 7th grade).
My mom pushed to get the teachers licensed and to receive professional development. But this rubbed the teachers the wrong way, and it especially bothered the school's founder who was the board president. Ms. W was apparently very embarrassed that she had never completed college and she felt inadequate in her job. The prospect of actually doing the hard work to get better caused her a great deal of anxiety. The board president/founder saw the push for basic licensing as implying she had failed to build a good school. Ms. W and the board had my mom fired in the middle of the school year. Ms. W was promoted to principal.
In one swoop, my family was plunged into chaos, as my mom was unemployed in the middle of the year when it's hard to find another teaching job, and my sisters and I could not return to school. I lost all my friends. I also lost someone I thought was my childhood hero- Ms. W.
I was incapable of making friends for the next years. Any time I thought about what Ms. W did, I became so angry that I would literally see red. So I would stop thinking about it and bury those feelings down below. I've never actually seen her since the day I was pulled out of school. But I often thought about writing a letter.
It's now been twenty years since my mom was fired. Last month I finally worked up the courage to send a letter, but I did it anonymously. I basically unloaded twenty years of pent of rage and used every bit of personal dirt I knew. I started by saying I was a former student and that I looked up to her when I was little. Then I pivoted. Drama was Ms. W's favorite subject. So I laid into her and said that I knew she wasn't a real teacher, but a fraud. Playing the part like a washed up actor desperately hoping no one could see through the act. I said it wasn't a surprise she was a professional failure, given that her personal life was a failure too. To back that up, I mocked her for having an alcoholic husband who squandered the family's money (one of the things I learned from having spent so much time at her house growing up). I closed by divulging one thing my mom told me. Ms. W had told my mom in that in her late teens, she had an abortion and that she has deeply and profoundly regretted it since. She said it made her feel like a bad mother. So I closed the letter by saying not only was she a professional fraud, and a personal failure, but also a piss-poor mother who killed her own baby. I wrote "is it any surprise that a woman who would abandon her own child would make such a terrible teacher?" I'm personally pro-choice, but I didn't care for this letter. I was out to inflict the same amount of pain on her that I've been dealing with these last 20 years. But I wonder if I've gone too far. Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
Rrx2fOh4xHE4JdBpbHfirLGgs9gDv3Qh
|
ahqyb0
|
{
"description": "deeming my brother too aggressive, when I provoked him",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 19
}
|
AITA for deeming my brother too aggressive, when I provoked him?
|
(English is not my native language, sorry for any mistakes!)
I [F17] have a 13 year old brother, whose a lot bigger and stronger than me. Sometimes I annoy him out of sheer boredom, because that’s what siblings do. It’s never anything that could actually hurt him or anything, just stuff like a little push, putting something in his hood, touching the computer while he’s gaming or grabbing his phone.
He pretty much always responds very aggressively, usually by hitting me. (Not for long, just once or twice). As he is much bigger than me, it hurts a lot and I can never defend myself.
My dad never does much to stop it unless it becomes an actual fight. But he never told my brother off for what he did. This really pissed me off, because IMO my brother shouldn’t be allowed to hit me over such minor annoyances, or for any reason for that matter, and get away with it.
My dad disagrees with me and says that it’s my own fault, because I provoked him, knowing that he would probably hit me. I can see where my dad is coming from but I’m still conflicted. I know I’m not an angel either and I know that if he would get scolded, I should get scolded too. But AITA for wanting my brother to get told off for hitting me, when I provoked him?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
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|
WRONG
|
pRmagcE8bwS698ZeAh5tCOXVshXKy65b
|
a10isw
|
{
"description": "kink shaming",
"pronormative_score": 24,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for kink shaming?
|
This topic is somehow occurring in a group Snapchat that has been going on for a few years now, consisting of some of my closest friends. When it comes to kinks, I'm pretty vanilla but I make sure to not judge others so long as nobody is being taken advantage of or being hurt.
Everyone is going around doing the very high school, gossip-y thing of sharing their kinks, and one of the women in the chat nonchalantly says that she's a furry.
I chuckle to myself because I personally think it is a little bit odd, somewhat of an outlier as far as the group went. I didn't say anything of course, because as far as I know, it's pretty harmless and has a somewhat self-contained community. However, she follows this up by saying "In a perfect world, I'd just love to have a dog fuck me."
​
I was immediately disgusted, and said so. She got defensive, so I asked if she meant like a human who turned into a dog, but she was adamant that it was just a regular dog. I told her this was bestiality, and that she was crazy for wishing for that. She left the group chat, and shortly after her closest friend private messaged me telling me that I needed to back off, and that I was an asshole for kink shaming her, especially when we were all sharing.
​
I'm starting to walk back what I said in my own mind, and I'm thinking maybe all she meant was that she would never do it, but if all the consequences were removed (dog can't give consent, illegal, moral issues, etc.) she'd find it hot. Even then, I find myself somewhat repulsed at the thought of it. But, I can't shake the feeling that her wording implied that she would never do it in real life.
​
Am I the asshole? Should I apologize, or was I right to kink shame her?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 24,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 24,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
RIGHT
|
OogDLmwDebOEDCjGQno7Wq2LIYwkpOEN
|
apq0bb
|
{
"description": "not wanting to buy my mom a gps tracker to put in my dad's car",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA If I don’t want to buy my mom a gps tracker to put in my dad’s car?
|
So since August of last year, my mom has suspected my dad of cheating and one day follows my dad to find out he has been cheating on her and has a child with another woman. Every day they argue about it and it calmed down for a bit. But recently the arguments have gotten worse because my mom placed a voice recorder in my dads bag and heard him talking to other women. So fast forward till today, my mom calls me and ask if I could buy the gps for her because if she buys it on her account my dad would see. I declined her because I’ve been trying to tell her it’s harmful and hurting her even more. She should not involve her kids in this because my dad is starting to believe we hate him. She even begged me ,said if I loved her that I would do it and she’s my mother so I have to. I said no and that’s it so she hangs up. So AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
6XS6qnE0FRhui7EcYQWowwbXsVdRinsy
|
a10iky
|
{
"description": "blatantly telling my girlfriend's super religious parents that I'm atheist",
"pronormative_score": 25,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for blatantly telling my girlfriend's super religious parents that I'm atheist?
|
I've been with my girlfriend for about a year now and we're both non-religious/atheist. The thing is, my girlfriend was raised in an uber-religious household with very Catholic parents that constantly shoved religious elements into her life throughout her childhood/teenage years. She constantly tells me how much she hated- and still hates- it.
However, she hides the fact that she is atheist from her parents as to not upset them and "fakes it" by going to church and other religious events with them on a regular basis. I don't necessarily agree with it, but I \*get\* it. As a result, we avoid talking about religion around them as much as possible and for the most part, it hasn't even come up when I'm around.
Her parents seem to like me a lot (or liked) and I do find them to be nice people. The other day during a dinner with them however, they began asking me if I would like to accompany them to church. I politely declined and was prepared to leave it at that- it's not the first time they've asked and I know to keep my own beliefs to myself to avoid stirring controversy. But they kept probing.
They asked how often I went to church, and I said never. They asked what religion I was, and I said I didn't practice any. They then asked if I believed in God and my girlfriend interrupted and told them to stop asking me personal questions. They went back and forth for a bit and ultimately said they were "just curious" and said they wanted to see "what my morals were". Feeling very uncomfortable at this point, I just said I preferred not to talk about it.
The rest of dinner was very awkward and went by pretty silently. They didn't seem angry or upset really, but there was clearly some tension in the air.
After we left her parents place, my girlfriend was stressed and mildly frustrated with me. We talked about it on the car ride home, and apparently they didn't know about my non-religion prior to this. She had apparently told them I was Catholic like them. I suppose I should have suspected they didn't know about my non-religion, but we actually never talked about it.
The next day happens, and I find out from my girlfriend that her parents are upset with her. They're upset she lied about my religion, upset she's dating not dating someone of faith, and upset because they suspect she's now lying about her own religious stance (which, she is). My girlfriend is now upset with me for causing all this, and now I feel guilty for souring the relationship between all of us.
I knew they were super religious, I knew my girlfriend was keeping her lack of religion a secret, and I suspected that they did not know about my atheism. But, I did not want to lie to their faces or hide that aspect of myself.
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 25,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 25,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
4iyOfEWzOwW7bIxESqqPKJELJArjEzOQ
|
b9zbc1
|
{
"description": "going to the movies with my friends I ask them to be quiet if they're making noise",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA When I go to the movies with my friends I ask them to be quiet if they're making noise.
|
My friends are telling me I was an asshole for quietly hushing them when they talked during a movie in the theater. They said that it's okay to quietly repeat funny quotes as they happen. I don't mind talking when you're watching movies at home, but I just don't like talking in theaters. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
dw4kFePEcikDzO2yNhxx0q5ROGxfQv77
|
b3cie5
|
{
"description": "completely cutting my teenage daughter from the internet",
"pronormative_score": 72,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for completely cutting my teenage daughter from the internet?
|
On Monday a parent of another girl in my daughter’s class got in touch with me over Facebook. She was asking me for help dealing with a situation between our girls. She had pictures of text conversations between them both and my daughter had been being quite nasty to her classmate. There was also a few of photos the classmate had posted with what I was told was my daughter’s account making harsh comments under. I told the other mother that I would speak to my daughter about it.
This seemed really out of character for my daughter so I wanted to get to the bottom of it. When I first spoke to her she denied it out right. Then I showed her the picture evidence and she said that she was just joking and that that was just her relationship was with the other girl. I didn’t buy it. This girl wouldn’t have gone to her mother if she wasn’t upset about it. I was just getting no where with my daughter.
I’ve read the horrible news articles about teens harming themselves over bullies so I am taking this very seriously. My boyfriend(not the father) suggested blocking her devices from the WiFi until she straightens up. I didn’t even know you could do that, but he had it finished within minutes. I also told her I would be monitoring her texts from now on.
She just keeps telling me what year it is and it’s impossible to survive without internet. She also brought up classwork. As far as classwork I told her that for the time being she can walk herself to the library and use the resources there. I’m not very internet literate so I’m really not sure if I’m being overly harsh. Sure she doesn’t have tv in her room now and her laptop and iPad are fairly useless for now, but I feel like the punishment fits the crime. Or maybe my daughter is right and I’m going way overboard. I’m not exactly the most modern type person.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 72,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 5
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 72,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
RIGHT
|
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