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vcbuGwXB1jiJIqUoB9FxKNjJQIoIZk2D
|
amhj3k
|
{
"description": "reneging on money",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for reneging on money?
|
I am away on a business trip. Yesterday my roommate’s toaster caught fire and burned my oven mitts and potholders. I told him I would replace the items out of my pocket. This trip put a nice dent in my finances and now I’ve asked for $15 to replace the items. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
3uod0RzT6Xgf3uFfMHraMzP5IubUyZVD
|
b4dcng
|
{
"description": "agreeing to still be with my cheating girlfriend and still getting mad at her",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 12
}
|
AITA for agreeing to still be with my cheating girlfriend and still getting mad at her?
|
Throwaway for obvious reasons
Background:
Last year i found out my girlfriend was texting two other guys while we were in a committed relationship. I was busy that summer and arguably wasn’t present.
The messages were very flirty and she never mentioned she was in a relationship. The manner in which these guys got her number was also a red flag to me.
I broke up with her then. We are in a friend group and i told two of those friends. One of said friend talked to me about getting back together with her because she would be in and out of the hospital because of a pretty rare disease she has. I got back with her because i also was still in love with her.
Ever so often, i get triggers because one of the guys she was texting attends my university. It’s always random stuff like one of the workers at my school mistaking me for the guy because we both have dreadlocks. When this happens i get mad all over again and pick fights with my girlfriend.
It’s a lot of mental stress and i feel like an asshole because i did take her back but then i think can you blame me for getting mad after what she did.
Basically, am i the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
"NOBODY": 1,
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}
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AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 12
}
|
WRONG
|
yC4rkn3AqodMA5me0g4Kd26TW0aeUJpk
|
aqrvy6
|
{
"description": "wanting to conceive via sperm donor than adopt with my husband",
"pronormative_score": 19,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for wanting to conceive via sperm donor than adopt with my husband (he’s infertile)?
|
Throwaway for obvious reasons.
I’ll try to keep this short and vague to protect both our identities. Husband and I have been trying to conceive on off for the past three years to no success. We finally had tests and he’s infertile due to an underlying genetic condition that none of us knew about (esp not before getting married).
We both still want kids (me probably more than him) and we’ve been discussing our options lately. He wants to adopt but I would like to actually get pregnant and give birth to my own child as this is an experience I truly do not want to miss out on. However in order to do that I’d need to conceive via sperm donation. This is something he’s completely against and I can’t seem to understand his reasoning.
He would much rather adopt a child that’s unrelated to either of us than allow us to have a child that’s at least one of ours. It would also let me experience what I’ve always wanted to experience as a mother. Is it unreasonable for me to want to conceive my own child instead of adopting? Friends and family are all hinting that I’m the one being unreasonable when I feel like he’s being extremely stubborn and illogical.
Adoption is an extremely long and expensive process. Natural birth would be much easier in comparison and it’s something he knows I’ve wanted since he’s known me. AITA here really?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 11,
"INFO": 1
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 19,
"WRONG": 8
}
|
RIGHT
|
VhKsGDLw2x0JXGkRRsO3AjMyRCtObtdW
|
b5llk4
|
{
"description": "being angry at my grandmother and not helping her",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being angry at my grandmother and not helping her?
|
To begin, I (21M) love my grandmother. She's always been very supportive and kind to me and I really don't believe she has any malicious intentions. However, she also has an uncanny ability to make situations about her, even by accident. For example: my friend was taken off life support after an accident and, when she visited the hospital, he started to die. While trying to leave the room, she tripped over a table and fell screaming to the floor and was unable to get up without assistance.
Anyway, my mother (her daughter) was diagnosed with breast cancer two months ago. Grandma says she'll help us take care of her after the double mastectomy. But on the week of, she's projectile vometing and needs to go to the ER because she might need gallbladder surgery. Not her fault of course, but then she decides not to go. So now my mom is worried about her on top of having major surgery done. Grandma visits her that weekend and my mom offers to let her recover at our house so she has someone to take care of her. She says she'll go but then doesn't. We spend a week wondering if she's going to drop dead before she finally gets help.
Cut to now. I have no issues helping out my family, but my mom's starting chemo on wednesday and over the past week my grandmother has decided to call in favors. She recently fell off a step ladder (she has a dead foot and can barely walk without tripping. See the dying friend story above) and greatly injured her back. There were two favors, one last week and one this week that are no problem. But today my aunt warned me that Grandma wants me to take my GreatGrandma to an nonessential eye appointment on the day mom starts chemo. I told my aunt I'm a little too stressed to deal with G-G. (Love her but she's 95, almost completely deaf, and a bit confrontational at times.) Eventually my grandma calls me and asks me not about the appointment (aunt must have told her i said no) but to drive her home after her dogs eye surgery tomorrow. Her back is causing her a lot of pain and she cant pick up her dog.
Here's where I'm worried I'm the asshole. I said no. I can take her, but honestly I'm pissed off. This cancer has been very rough for all of us. My mom is only 47 and our rock. Even though I know it's not grandma's fault she keeps getting sick and injured, I'm mad that in this difficult time she's not giving me space. Ironically I'm also mad because she's giving my mom TOO much space. She hasn't visited her once since she came after mom's surgery. She wasn't able to come to said surgery because she was puking uncontrollably and not getting help.
My sister and dad think I should drive her and take G-G to her appointment. I don't want to and unfortunately I feel like my decision is born out of frustration/irritation/anger at a woman who can't help her issues.
TL;DR grandmother is habitually sick/injured at the worst times. Right now its coinciding with my moms cancer and I'm not feeling very helpful
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
vVawpESaUShYIyZtkOERD2SjtyKTqNMs
|
an3dma
|
{
"description": "not checking food we bought and leaving without a part of our order",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for not checking food we bought and leaving without a part of our order?
|
Like the title says. My family and I went to a fast food place and ordered. When we got our food, my mother asked me to check the food just in case but I thought, "it'll be fine, it's probably all there." Instead, when we got home it turns out her food wasn't there to which she loudly clapped in my face and shouted "Well fucking done \_\_\_\_! I didn't want to fucking eat anyway!" I said I'm sorry, I feel awful that she didn't get to eat, am I an asshole for it?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 6,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
WRONG
|
hdnOrL9OAyLVHsoGwLlSFakUrHEe4xPB
|
b5zu9y
|
{
"description": "not telling my mom I love her",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not telling my mom I love her?
|
As a kid it's hard to see anything wing with your parents except in extreme cases. My parents were never exceptionally abusive, but it's hard to say whether or not I really did feel love for my parents, or it was dependence and the habit of saying I love you.
A few years ago I started to examine my relationship with my parents and realized my mom tends to lack boundaries and trust. Whenever I told her anything in confidence, her friends (and often their families and friends) knew very shortly. This included private health information and things I was already embarrassed for her to know about, let alone half the neighborhood. But whenever something important was happening, I was the last to know. My friend knew my mom was pregnant before I did. She also snooped in our rooms and through our phones and backpacks without any warning.
Besides the lack of trust and boundary, there was also obvious favoritism in the family, plenty of fighting, and a lack of belief and support. I had health issues that went undiagnosed and unhelped for years, causing quite a bit of pain and necessity for surgery. I now notice my sister has some of the same issues, and my mom again is ignoring it and not correcting it while it can be corrected without surgery.
When I started coming to these realizations, I hated my mom. I don't hate her anymore, but I don't really love her either. My dad, knowing my reasons, thinks I should just tell her I do even if it's not true. I don't think I owe her an "I love you" and the lie would be worse than just not saying anything. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
P4YmLZ03gTYcvACc7dS2IiHTlGcHTgKU
|
a6fs4e
|
{
"description": "telling my mom to leave her dog at home for Christmas",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling my mom to leave her dog at home for Christmas.
|
Alrighty folks so three years ago when I left for college my mom got a poodle. Since then she’s done nothing to train him making him a 60 pound ball of destruction.
We are doing Christmas in my apartment this year because my oldest sister is coming home because her FIL is very sick and I live 20 minutes from the inlaws and my moms house is 4 hours away. I feel like it’s important to mention that my sister and her family live in japan and this is the first Christmas they will be home since 2011. From the 23-26 I’m going to have 9 adults, 3 children, 1 corgi, and 1 cat in my tiny two bed one bath apartment. I don’t have enough room for that to begin with so I told my mom that there’s not enough room for her dog and she freaked out.
At first she tried convincing me that she’ll take care of him and that he won’t be a problem but when she was here for Thanksgiving that was not the case. I had to take him out to go potty each and every time because I live on the third floor and it’s hard on my moms arthritis (she’s 60) and I don’t want her to fall down or anything like that. Plus he kept peeing on my cats little house. I told her no that he is not welcome and now she said she will just stay home then.
What the most mind boggling thing is that she has a roommate who is watching her other dog (70 pound golden retriever puppy) and he offered to watch her poodle for FREE.
AITA for not wanting her to bring her dog, from her perspective I’m being a bitch and ruining Christmas but from mine she’s picking a fucking poodle over her family.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 15,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 16,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
y8ttosLLztcU9VaqOfV5xxjShijcyROG
|
a800d0
|
{
"description": "beginning looking for another job after the holiday season",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I began looking for another job after the holiday season?
|
A bit of backround to this inquiry, i've been working for a black car service for going on 2 years now. It's somewhat of a dying industry but there is still a need for it New York.
It's taken me a year to get fully acclimated to the work environment and now i'm seen as one of them, highly relied upon, all the drivers know me, all the customers know me, the only problem is the owner of the company is slowly outsourcing the entire operation to Las Vegas.
Since before the summer started the owner of the company has begun moving the job to a call center in Vegas because of the looming threat of 15$ minimum wages here in New York.
The bosses are trying to tell me I have nothing to worry about, that it will be a joint effort between Vegas and NYC, but then a month ago they fired a long time NYC worker and didn't even touch anyone over at Vegas. Their crew is growing while ours is shrinking, these next two weeks I have a maximum of 16 hours because they want the people in Vegas to start trying to work on their own.
I feel the writing is on the wall but at the same time a lot of people have come to rely on me. My manager for instance just worked out custody with his wife so that twice a month i'd take his shift at work so he can spend more time with his daughters. When I expressed an interest in going somewhere else for work the guy pretty much pleaded with me that things have just begun to work out for him that he needs me to do this otherwise he can't see his daughters.
I plan on moving with my girlfriend next year, I feel as if I need to get a new more stable job before then so i'm not in a situation where all of a sudden I don't have a job due to outsourcing.
Would I be the asshole if I just started looking for somewhere else to work given the situation?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
czn6cFgZWrR8QRkSXdkN7xvfyWxfvv9w
|
axvjwc
|
{
"description": "pursuing a relationship with a married woman, that isn't happy with her situation",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 15
}
|
AITA for pursuing a relationship with a married woman, that isn't happy with her situation?
|
About a month and some change ago, I met a girl here on reddit. For the first week or so we were friends, and she was really flirty with me. We played Overwatch and other games all night, and went to bed at the same time we basically spent every waking moment together over the internet. It was great, we clicked and we were having an amazing time. She asked me if I was interested in just being friends or something far more about three days in. I said I would definitely like a relationship with her because we clicked so well and it felt right to be with her but I'd like to be friends for a little while first of course.
Now here's where it gets tricky, about a week in she dropped that she was married on me, but she told me that he didn't mind and that she went out and slept with people. In fact she told me that her husband would tell her to do this. She told me that she was done with that, and that she wanted a monogamous style relationship. So I said if your husband doesn't really care then I don't see anything wrong with us being in a relationship. I make plans to fly out to see her, and her husband catches wind of this and it turns out he is not okay with this. At this point I've already emotionally invested and I went, we had a wonderful five days together. I realized that I really feel a lot for this girl.
Shortly after I went back home she had a surgery, and both me and her husband agreed to be loving towards her and give her the support she needs to recover from surgery. On the condition that I act as a friend and nothing more. I spend time playing Minecraft and watching movies with her, just relaxing really, and when she said she was well enough, we masturbated together over video chat. The thing is he's been yelling at her over the smallest things, like she has to eat less so she ordered toddler utensils because it helps with that. He yelled at her for wasting money. She was sitting down at the computer with some open protein shakes and jello, basically the only things she can eat and he yells that shes making a mess. His excuse is that I only hear him yelling because hes angry shes talking to me, but I don't think that's true. He wants us to stop talking entirely, but I'm not going to leave this girl I care about to try and get through surgery recovery with just someone that yells at her for support.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 7,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 15
}
|
WRONG
|
Rkj9WeDQmziPKJIH03B2GqW897uqRNnS
|
a4kjbe
|
{
"description": "being upset at my friend",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being upset at my friend
|
So I used to have a friend I knew her thought my whole school life, until about grade 9-10 where she was starting to ignore me whatever she told me that she was just busy, that's cool its highschool it happens. it keeps going I don't think much of it and she was making new friends which I was happy for her and everything that's not what I'm upset at her for it happens people make new friends. then I had to move schools out of bullying problems my new school was a lot better. I tried to say goodbye to her as she was a old friend but she just totally blocked me out without saying a word. I get really upset wondering whats wrong since she wouldn't talk to me It wasn't like her to do this she was a kind person or so I thought So I get my friend who was still there to talk to her turns out I was no longer her friend she had gotten accepted into the popular group like in everything highschool movie ever when I found out this information from pure anger and sadness I removed her from every social media I ever had her on.
I few months later she tried to say sorry to both me and my friend to try to get on are good side again I think my other friend said it was alright, but I couldn't stand what she did to me It really hurt I thought she was my best friend I just kinda ignored it and said nothing and moved on with my life
Now I'm finished school and I'm still really upset with her and what she did and she's darn proud of it wearing it like a badge
​
AITA for still being upset with her ?, Should I forgiven her ?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
V0zr8WPTo3yjBCdDaEOcO9lTe5byZ7qu
|
aw7t0v
|
{
"description": "breaking up with my girlfriend for admitting to snooping through my phone",
"pronormative_score": 75,
"contranormative_score": 14
}
|
AITA for breaking up with my girlfriend for admitting to snooping through my phone?
|
So the other night I come home from a hard day at work, and while decompressing, my then girlfriend comes into the bedroom looking upset. I asked her what was wrong, and she apologizes to me. She seemed pretty upset.
Now, a sidebar, I'm a very private and reserved guy. I take my privacy very seriously, and as such, I don't give passwords out to anyone, including my partners, and I hate it when people go through my photos or search history. Well, she got into my phone the night before and snooped around. She tells me she thought I was cheating (because apparently having a sense of privacy = cheating), and I got pretty upset. I'm not going to lie, I yelled at her and told her she has no respect for boundaries or my privacy. She kept crying and telling me it's okay, I didn't cheat, and she trusts me now, etc. This pissed me off, because she should have trusted me in the first place, and now I have no trust in her because I know she's the type of person who could even consider breaking into my personal belongings.
I broke up with her, as I have no desire to be with someone who doesn't respect my sense of privacy, and mistakes privacy for 'possibly cheating'. (By the way, I've never cheated on anyone in my life). She's texted me so many times, and she and her friend keep calling me an asshole without any forgiveness in my heart. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 68,
"EVERYBODY": 9,
"NOBODY": 7,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 75,
"WRONG": 14
}
|
RIGHT
|
R7uJugRPmo1ObMHuBXMF0MLdS6mj1imp
|
avktal
|
{
"description": "reporting my \"friend\" for trying to give me a swirly",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for reporting my “friend” for trying to give me a swirly?
|
This friend, we’ll call Alex, and I have always playfully made fun of each other. I’d call her ugly, she’d call me an idiot. We never did anything that would offend the other.
Later, we start debating about the technical definition of a stereotype. Our debates have never had a conclusive ending to them before, but for once, we finished. I won the argument, and she was speechless. I laughed it off and thought it was the end of it.
A little while later, I’m on my way to the trash can to finish up my water bottle and to throw it away. As I’m drinking it, she lifts the bottle so that it spills on me. I turn around, and try to spill the water on her. I completely miss. She laughs at me for missing. I wait until she’s behind me to do it again, and the bottle hits her in the face.
This infuriates Alex. She grabs me and doesn’t let go. She says she’s going to give me a swirly repeatedly. I try to push her off me and I keep trying to run away, but she drags me out of the cafeteria into the bathroom. I keep pushing away and trying to run, and she keeps pulling me against my will.
At this point, I have gotten out of her grip enough to where she is only holding onto my sweater. I rip the sweater off of me and sprint away while she tries to get the stall open. I left the sweater in her hand. When I get to my locker later in the day, my sweater is in there, soaking wet. She had soaked it in the bathroom.
She sarcastically apologized, and I unexpectedly started crying. I reported it to administration, and she screamed in face about being overdramatic. I personally believe that what I did was perfectly acceptable for the situation. I’m still shaken up from what happened, but I need an objective perspective.
AITA for reporting her?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 6,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
hr4blGTJK18InYF3TJlhL0P8BG34lTcA
|
asvneo
|
{
"description": "playing with a dog",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for playing with a dog
|
Some family friends asked if somebody could watch their dogs while they went on vacation for a week. They have three dogs. We have 10 people total in our house, 8 kids and two parents my mom and my cool stepdad Antonio but only two of us kids which were me and my brother Nathan had to go to the people’s’ house after school to dog sit the dogs cause we were old enough to be responsible. My stepdad, Nathan, and me we would all rotate different days that we had to take care of the dogs and Okay this isn’t really relevant actually
Also I’m typing this on my phone there might be weird four matt stuff
Ok so it was my turn to dog sit the dogs one day after school. The dog I’m gonna be talking about, his name is Cookie cause he kinda looks like a cookie but I wouldn’t eat him cause I don’t eat dogs okay anyways
I was playing with Cookie this day. I was poking him in random spots on his body and he was snapping at my finger but we were just playing. So then he rolled over on his back with his mouth open, and so I stuck my finger in his mouth and he would snap at it but I’d pull my finger away before he bites me but one time he bites me cause my finger’s still in his mouth
He bit me hard enough for my finger to start bleeding and I couldn’t find any bandaids so I was left to bleed out basically
AITA or is the dog cause the dog knew we were just playing but he bit me hard anyway it was totally the dog actually the dog is TA
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
g0Tn0rx2QHsvewhAsNw7wfQRgWrD5mv8
|
ank7jv
|
{
"description": "calling someone a bint",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for calling someone a bint
|
Obviously the title makes it seem like I'm the asshole straight away but I'm not really sure judging by the context.
Basically, in a maths class I go to I sit next to a girl who dates a trans guy (ill call her K), a gay guy (GG), and a bisexual guy (BG) and I'm gay as well so people make jokes about us being the fag table all the time but none of us have really cared. A few days ago I walked in slightly late and learned we had a substitute for the lesson, so I knew this lesson was just gonna be shit anyway but I went with it. Literally the second I sat down in my place I was thrown into this vicious argument between K and this blonde girl (B), one of the girls B sat next to had told K that her boyfriend wasn't a real guy, obviously looking for a reaction out of her. As I started to do some of my work and that's when the conversation shifted. B decided to express her belief that being gay was a choice, which was when it became extremely apparent to me that she was looking for a reaction but K was fucking fed up with Bs shit as she had been basically harassing her in those lessons for several weeks so she didn't back down. It was right about this time that one of her friends (L) sat down next to her and started rambling about how his opinion was fact and that i was pretending that I didn't choose to be gay. Now that was when I made the foolish choice of making the joke that L chose to be black as Michael Jackson proved you can change your skin colour, this was very obviously a joke and I don't see how anyone could derive racism from it but I still probably wouldn't have said anything in hindsight anyway. After I said this B fucking accused me of being racist and yelled out that K believed being gay was a mental illness, which was very fucking obviously a lie, and that was just the fucking final straw for me at that point, I fucking hate her and I don't really have the patience to have a conversation with her but to tell me that something I've struggled with for years is a FUCKING CHOICE is something I just won't stand for. So I cleared my voice to get her attention and said "if it is a choice then choose to be a lesbian you fucking bint", I don't regret saying it because it seems to have made her think twice before talking to us again and her mates don't approach any of us, but I think I over reacted and need outside opinion on whether I'm the asshole here
TL;DR AITA for calling someone a bint when they repeatedly told me that being gay was a choice
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
R7rFMGmwWIi5KsJECU3fx5P0BFlG2qoA
|
ax48s4
|
{
"description": "being upset/hurt at my so for faking orgasms",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for being upset/hurt at my SO for faking orgasms?
|
TL;DR at bottom.
So this is a bit complex, let me fill you in on background- we are both non-confrontational people. The disputes prior to this were minor. Let me also add that I absolutely **despise** lying. This has been difficult at times, as she was abused, emotionally and physically, in past relationships, and lies chronically to save herself from retribution of her SO. This behavior is well ingrained in her personality, however I have made leaps and bounds towards ending these behaviors and promoting honesty in our relationship. One of the results of her abuse however is her fear of upsetting me. (Let me add I have never and will never lay a hand on her in anger.) This fear manifests itself as her withholding information she fears will upset me, thus leading her to lie. This has nearly ceased over the past few months.
Til tonight.
We have an extremely active sexual life, as it was in part some similar kinks that first jump started our relationship. We are a long distance relationship, so maintaining our sexual activities is heavily reliant on Skype based "playtime" which between our visits slates our thirst for one another. Without going into detail these consist of me telling her precisely what to do while we both pleasure ourselves in tandem. I have a good sense of her 'rhythm' and would compliment this with questions asking her if she was close etc. to time my commands accordingly. I thought I had it down.
*Thought.*
Recently, I purchased a toy for her that aides our bedroom escapades. This has given her some genuinely astounding experiences. However, during the post-playtime glow of endorphins, she broke down crying and told me something long the lines of "I'm so sorry OP... I know you told me never to lie or fake anything (referencing a prior conversation about faking smiles for the same reasons) but I normally fake every orgasm you see me have." She then goes on to explain that this toy that I purchased for her has given her the best sexual experiences of her life. She explains that most girls fake orgasms through anything but penetration (a fact I know well) but this whole time I assumed she was one of the rare few who could.
Reasoning for said upsettness- ~~(English lvl. 100)~~ At the outset I specifically stated she should never lie or fake an orgasm to please me. I repeated this often. She reassured me every time I voiced these wishes that she wouldn't. She defied this. I am extremely hurt she openly defied my wishes and lied to me regularly in regards to a portion of our relationship that due to its nature is interconnected to practically all other aspects. She faked it. Lied to me every time. I am oddly hurt and angry.
TL;DR- So, proctologist pros. Am I the asshole for being hurt and angry with my SO for lying practically every day about truly orgasming to 'please' me due to Pavlovian conditioning form past abusive relationships?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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NOBODY
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|
RIGHT
|
HRsNSfZcJbBVz3L4mJJzsGQOw2x4TEd2
|
auun6e
|
{
"description": "moving my room-mate's clothes from the washing machine to the dryer",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA: I moved my room-mate's clothes from the washing machine to the dryer
|
I live in an apartment with three other girls who are good friends. These girls sort of run the apartment's resources, like the kitchen, the bathrooms, and the laundry machine and dyer (naturally, as they are 3 people and I am only one).
All three of them do their laundry at least once a day. It's cool you do your laundry all the time, but it means that I hardly get an opportunity to use them to do my own laundry. When three girls take 1-2 hours doing their laundry every day and I am only home for a few hours of the day, it means sometimes I can't do my laundry when I need to. Something they do is start their laundry while they're out of the house, sometimes for hours. This means when no one's home and I finally have a chance to use the damn thing, someone else's clothes are still sitting in there. Today I really needed to do my laundry. My clothes built up and I had nothing clean to wear. One of my roommates had been out of the house for hours and she still had her load of underwear and a sweater sitting in the washing machine. So I took her things out and put them in the dryer. There wasn't any particularly sensitive fabric I could see like satin or wool or faux fur, so I thought it would be fine. I started my load and tonight she's come home and told me not to take her things out of the washing machine and put them in the dryer again. She sounded very, very angry. I told her I was sorry and I wouldn't do it again-- I felt weird doing it to begin with. She didn't flat out tell me why but I assumed I must've underestimated a piece's delicateness and ruined it in the dryer. I don't know if this was the reason why but if it isn't, I don't see how its reasonable of her to ask me to wait for her all day when I really need to do my laundry too and it was a tiny load. If I ruined something I'll pay for it. If I didn't take her things out, they would've been in there till 11 PM when she got home. I have class and work tomorrow in the morning and needed to wash my clothes too. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
m3lCIqAWjz5MCfGZXGAklzP5nYZIYynW
|
az1jg5
| null |
AITA close friend I confided in kissed my ex and then lied to me about it
|
21m, quick summary, close friend who I confided in after breakup kissed my ex, chose not to tell me about it and then lied to me about it, said it was a one time heat of the moment thing, ex told me about it and showed me messages of him trying with her on more than one occasion after the kiss, felt disrespected and stopped talking to him.
Am I unreasonable to hold him to this? I would never do that to the people I have closest in my life, I see it as utter disrespect.
( no feelings over ex, not spoken to her in months, still had feelings for her when they kissed)
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 1,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
2ciw8TAWJ4NBGBjyi1De4ZOWJmWdLDtK
|
ai9i6h
|
{
"description": "cutting off a friend I found out was abusing his gf",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA for cutting off a friend I found out was abusing his gf
|
Basically what it says in the title. I've been friends with this guy since high school, but I found out he's treated his gf (also my friend) horrifically. Cheating on her, emotionally abusing her, etc. He relied entirely on her financially too. She broke up with him last year and I found out about the abuse.
He also has a history of saying really misogynistic things to my other friends. And to top it all off, he started dating his best mate's ex (whom the guy was still in love with). That is over now, but he's trying to act like nothing happened.
Will I be the asshole if I stop talking to this guy completely?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
IlQfSHOLA7xkuuR9FtibaXsTfaMcEXwI
|
apou8i
|
{
"description": "wanting to turn someone down over appearance",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA? I want to turn someone down over appearance.
|
Ok, let me start off by saying that I’m well aware my title sets off some alarms, but let me explain. I’m looking for a very sex-oriented relationship. Sex and sexual attraction matter very much to me in a relationship. Recently, my friend set me up with a guy. We start talking, and he’s really nice. We hit off, and our conversation is good. We have a lot of similar interests, and he has a way of keeping a conversation exciting. Personality wise, he’s it. However, physically, he isn’t my taste in guys. Mind you, not ugly, but not someone I would see myself sleeping with. Considering that I’m specifically looking for a very sexual relationship, am I the asshole for rejecting him because he wouldn’t live up to that?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
TLLGUURw8IMgoFcK96O6YIqJGQiOts4d
|
ayt4mg
|
{
"description": "watching Captain Marvel but with a movie ticket for Alita",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA for watching Captain Marvel but with a movie ticket for Alita?
|
Want to watch Captain Marvel but all controversies and agendas surrounding the movie are really off putting. So ill buy a ticket for Alita instead but sit in the CM screen.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
YZKhNF11kdGhkvi9j3V364M8a7nI1IyU
|
aixv4f
|
{
"description": "playing white noise to sleep and bothering my neighbours",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for playing white noise to sleep and bothering my neighbours?
|
This is my first post here so I hope this is the right way to do it!
​
Basically a few months ago new tenants moved in above me. There were/are super loud (thinking stomping loudly, throwing stuff, banging cupboards shut) at all hours of the day and night. They're new parents so they have an odd sleeping schedule. I learned very, very quickly that they were very loud around 6-8 am. There kitchen and bathroom is directly overhead so they'd wake me up and keep me up until they were done their breakfast and morning routines. After a few days of this I went up there around 8 (I know, it's not that early but I'm a student and normally sleep from 3-11) and asked them to please be a but quieter because it's an old building and the sound radiates. The guy told me they couldn't be quieter because they had a baby and then shut the door in my face. I went to the landlord who told me I was imagining how loud the noise was. I tried ear plugs but they wouldn't block hot the stomping so I bought a white noise machine. This was an expensive machine and not in my budget but I need sleep. Anyway, apparently they can hear EVERYTHING from my bedroom (which is super embarrassing) and instead of talking to me to resolve the noise they just got louder and louder, meaning I'd turn my noise up higher to cover them. I didn't know they could hear anything until one day it was super quiet and I learned that had left to stay at a friends.
​
IMO this all could have been avoided if the family had been apologetic and a bit accommodating. They could have put carpets down, walked quieter in the morning, etc. Honestly, they could have come to me the first day after I had woken up and explained the noise was loud and we could have discussed and worked something out. Now it looks like they spend all their time banging, slamming and stomping so I end up playing my music even louder to cover it so I can sleep/study.
​
I have no idea if the noise bothers anyone else, and it looks like the landlord is going to try to fix the noise going UP to them but not their stomping or slamming coming DOWN to me. So TBH, I still plan on playing it as loud as possible hoping it leaks through, which probably makes me a bad person.
​
Anyway, AITA in either/all of these scenarios?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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EVERYBODY
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|
WRONG
|
6pTDlfIL8RMMoAHNB2mKaz5LNmJfw7RB
|
a5v6au
|
{
"description": "asking BF to buy me a Christmas gift off my list this year, instead of making one",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I asked BF to buy me a Christmas gift off my list this year, instead of making one?
|
We are both in our late twenties. Been together for 4 years.
BF is not really a good gift giver. I kind of understood it when he was in college, but as we have gotten closer and moved in together I have seen his finances, and he has a lot of disposable income. He buys games on Steam like it's going out of style.
Through the past 4 years, he has never really given me anything I have wanted to keep. He values making things because he feels they have more impact than something purchased off of Amazon, but he regularly misjudges how much time they will make, has terrible craftsmanship, goes the cheap route, or all 3. I don't mind him making me something, or not spending a lot of money, but it hurts when he essentially gives me something he didn't think through that I will never use.
I have received a scarf I never wear because it is a foot long and isn't very neatly done. I didn't even get to pick out the yarn because he "already had some he needed to use." (I have seen the things he has knitted and everything else has been fairly impressive. A glove, a hat, etc.)
He made me something I wanted out of wood. He got the cheapest wood at Home Depot and didn't know how to stain it, so after a month of it sitting there I had to finish and assemble my own present. He regularly watches videos on YouTube to try to learn new skills, too.
In contrast, I am a pretty thoughtful gift giver. I have a large family as well, so I have a pretty long wishlist on Amazon. WIBTA if I asked him not to make me anything this year? He talked about it the other day, I guess without realizing we're only about a week away from Christmas and he's busy both weekends.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
TOJtwQBR4Ye9ISZNGwqBrQs3azVor9vc
|
atbf3d
|
{
"description": "not including my coworker",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for not including my coworker?
|
I'm a mid-20s female who is a long-time fan of a certain popular Monday night dating show. When I was in college and grad school I would find other fans of the show and we would get together at someone's place and drink wine, hang out, etc. while watching.
I graduated last fall and moved to a new city for my job. When the show started back up in January, I decided that since I now live alone, I would take the initiative to get some of my grad school classmates (who also moved to the same city) together at my place on Mondays to watch the show together. I love our Monday night tradition, not only for the show, but because it's a great way for me to see old friends who I otherwise don't get to see very often.
Here's the dilemma. One of my grad school friends, who I'll call Sarah, works at the same office as me. Sarah is also a fan of the show and is a regular Monday night attendee. We are both friends with another mid-20s female coworker, who I'll call Jane. Now, I have nothing against Jane; I think she's a really nice/fun gal (albeit a *tad* bit dramatic) and I have hung out with her and Sarah outside of work a handful of times. When I first got the Monday night group together, Sarah asked if I wanted to invite Jane. I told Sarah that I didn't think Jane watched the show, because she had always rolled her eyes when I mentioned my obsession, but that regardless I kind of wanted to limit the group to our grad school friends. Sarah seemed to understand and hasn't said anything to me about it since. Weeks passed and I continued to host the grad school group at my place every Monday.
About a two weeks ago, however, Jane started dropping what I feel like are hints about my Monday night gathering. She hasn't said anything directly, but she has texted me out of the blue a few times now saying things like "omg can you believe what happened on last night's episode?" or sending me a funny articles about the show. I'm not trying to give my gathering too much credit here, but I feel like this sudden persistent interest may be a result of her hoping to get an invite? This also kind of makes sense to me because she recently (within the last month) went through a breakup. But even if she's not intending to drop hints, I still feel guilty talking to her about the show knowing that I have a weekly watch party that our mutual friend/coworker Sarah attends. I suspect it's possible that Sarah had talked to Jane about it, and Jane may think if she makes her newfound interest clear I'll throw her an invite too.
Long story short, while there's no real reason not to invite Jane (since she's a perfectly nice person), I simply don't want to. I honestly feel like we spend enough time around each other at work, so I'd prefer to reserve this night exclusively for my grad school friends. I've also always been a person that likes to keep their various friend groups separate because when those worlds collide I get stressed out playing the mediator.
So reddit, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
WDr6hoRZToQo3RrpeB4gbazdm03zwg2H
|
aqkbji
|
{
"description": "forcing another driver to miss their exit",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 36
}
|
AITA for forcing another driver to miss their exit?
|
This occurred yesterday while driving home from work.
Now a little back story. I’m driving in the left lane with the flow of traffic doing roughly 78 MPH. As we were passing an on-ramp, another driver (let's call them Otter) wanted to get over to the left lane as quick as possible, but without getting up to speed first. Now there was plenty of room for a car to fit between me and the car in front, but that doesn’t mean it’s okay to merge. So Otter, who just came onto the expressway puts their turn signal on and comes over into the left lane causing me to slam on my brakes and drop my speed to 60 MPH. I was almost touching their bumper. Thankfully no one was close enough behind me or else I think I would’ve been hit from behind it was so sudden. I slam on my horn but of course that does nothing. They eventually get up to speed and we continue on.
Fast forward a few miles; this is where things get tricky because our expressway splits into two different expressways. But before this happens a third lane opens up for people to merge and make sure they are in the correct lane for the split. Keep in mind, myself and Otter stayed in the left lane all the way to this point. Traffic was moving at a normal pace for the split but Otter decides a half mile from the split to put their turn signal on to get over. Clearly they want to go right; however, they make no effort to actually get over. They don’t slow down or speed up. They stay at the same speed as the car in lane next to us. I see this and move over to get behind that car and get just close enough that Otter cannot squeeze in. We make it to the split and they are stuck in the left lane. I see them throw their hands up in frustration. To make it seem like I didn’t do it on purpose I continue to the right and take the other expressway, adding a few more minutes to my commute. I think it was worth it.
Am I the asshole for forcing another driver to miss their exit?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 14,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 22,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 36
}
|
WRONG
|
ZcWCXbwuSDUXb8FoXg7hBaCC7VG4272y
|
a66mpr
|
{
"description": "not wanting to get in my friend's car",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to get in my friend’s car?
|
My friend has one of the grossest cars I’ve ever seen. I know I’m kind of overreacting as I have OCD and clutter anxiety, but my other friend has said she agrees that it’s nasty. I feel bad for always declining her invites to go off campus (I don’t have a car and I don’t have my license yet) with excuses like “Oh I have to make up some work“ or “I have lunch detention”. She’s also is a reckless driver and I know she’ll get into an accident soon, but she claims she’s a “really good driver” and totally won’t total her car.
Am I the asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
zGkhDYtIZtlYgVORxnSnEIHW96GnPXYx
|
9tunco
|
{
"description": "not wanting to be friends with my ex",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to be friends with my ex
|
my ex and i had a very toxic relationship. He was extremely manipulative. When we first broke up, he didn’t want to let me have my time off to move on. He insisted that we had to stay friends because i “promised” to. Eventually he let me have some space to myself although he would call me up or text me out of the blue. But I finally moved on and no longer felt anything for him. He has a girlfriend now but sometimes he still bugs me because he needs help with his studies or someone to talk to. I used to reply him because I pitied him (he loves to victimise himself) and on my birthday, he got me a lot of presents and even wanted to throw a surprise party for me (after we’ve broken up) so I felt like I should reciprocate since he’s being so nice to me. But I realised that I can’t forget about the tremendous amount of hurt he has caused me and him being in my life doesn’t help. Also I feel like he’s just using me as a back up plan in case he loses his girlfriend in the future. And I definitely do not want to be the one comforting him (i know i’m selfish). So recently i’ve been ignoring him and trying to distance myself and hopefully i can cut off the friendship.
TL;DR - I do not want to be friends with my ex even though he’s pretty nice to me now.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
x91ykdteMfeQ9jpCelbKD2KGAgMDXLX1
|
aurhkm
|
{
"description": "being angry at my mother because my horse died of old age",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for being angry at my mother because my horse died of old age?
|
My horse has been with my mother on the family farm since I finished high school and moved to the city for work. He is/was a 27 year old Thoroughbred, so it was remarkable that he has lasted this long in the first place. In November, I got a call from my mother that he was unwell and starting to lose weight. We discussed euthanasia due to his age and poor health, but my mother decided that she didn’t want to put him down as she saw it as ‘playing god’. I wanted my horse put down as he had a bad arthritis and wasn’t eating much, and I didn’t want him to suffer in his last days. We agreed that we would wait a month, and put him down in December. December came and went and he wasn’t getting any better, but he still wasn’t put down as my mother was still uncomfortable with it. I reiterated to her that I didn’t want him to be in pain and suffering, and argued that it was kinder to let him go quicker rather than him wasting away.
Still, nothing happened until last week (Feb) when she called me to tell me that she’d finally decided to make the euthanasia appointment as she’d ‘felt sick’ looking at him as he was now skin and bones. I was devastated to hear that he had gotten to this point but glad that my horse was finally going to be at peace, so we agreed on a day the next week where I would come down and we would farewell him together.
I got a text message from my mother today while I was at work that he had passed away naturally earlier this morning. I am sad that he’s gone but mostly furious that in his last few months he was in pain and I feel like he suffered when he didn’t have to because of her refusal to agree to euthanasia in the first place. AITA for being angry with my mother over this?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
WRONG
|
P9VT1OKRhGoApiagWioVGo1xROj7WHT1
|
at79ce
|
{
"description": "refusing my friend's request to stay",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For refusing my friend's request to stay?
|
Basically my friend and me have been playing some video games at my house, for around about 5 hours, and then midnight came, since we are both 15, he needed someone to get him back as it was already almost midnight. He called his dad and his dad said he can't take him back home, so my friend had told me he is planning to stay for the night. This is time in my area is actually considered the weekend so I had plans for the next day (mostly regarding working on my business), so I told my friend I can't this time let him stay, and I asked my dad if he was able to take him, and he agreed, so he left with my friend.
Am I the asshole for not letting my friend stay at my place?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
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}
|
NOBODY
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
6PHyplKQljKIRvxrDAq6oamyKRaAbBWg
|
b74upa
|
{
"description": "telling a chef he can't cook",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 16
}
|
AITA for telling a chef he can't cook?
|
I am visiting Milan for 3 weeks to meet my girlfriends boss and potentially get a lucrative job. He invited me to a restaurant near Borgo degli Ortolani, and I really wanted to make a good impression with him. I ordered Zighini and so does my GF's boss, he looks like he is having difficulty eating it (I found it average), but I pretended to also dislike it. I told the waiter we were severely disappointed with the food and that I demand to speak with the chef. In my dumb brain I thought looking powerful in front of my GFs boss would impress him. The chef meets me in front of the kitchen (openish area) and I shout really loud about how that is the worst Zighini I've ever had, that it was watery and too firey and that he shouldn't even qualify as a sandwich artist at Subway let alone a professional chef. He got angry back at me and called me a m*therf*cker and that I wasn't welcome at his restaurant and told me to get out. He didn't refund us for the meal and also my GF's boss became kind of passive towards me for the rest of the evening (he's usually very energetic speaking).
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 16,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 16
}
|
WRONG
|
IK6BtvitJllwd3eTp2Zb3nWGgzNTkbvs
|
ajf9cm
|
{
"description": "not giving away the last of a very expensive scotch for my friend to make a hot toddy",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not giving away the last of a very expensive scotch for my friend to make a hot toddy?
|
To clarify, she wasn't overly bothered but I feel a little like an asshole.
Basically the scotch is £100+ in price and I can't usually afford such stuff (it was a gift) and I can't replace it. She has a cold and wants a hot toddy but I have only got enough for one more drink out of it. Am I a dick for saying no?
P.s. I told her honestly that I didn't want to waste
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
vvz7uSV2PCOuTTlF3zfv8mCmT02rW63Z
|
aq7uu7
|
{
"description": "dropping the F-bomb",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for dropping the F-bomb?
|
Ok, so this happened yesterday and I'm getting treated like shit by my family over it.
I am the youngest in the family at 25, and in this family you learn to curse at a pretty young age, that said it was always understood that those words weren't appropriate for public places, and should be used sparingly, or in jest.
Yesterday I went to hang out at my mom's place, watch Grand Tour, play smash Bros with my brother, etc. She had a friend over and friend had her kid with her. Now I usually watch my mouth around kids, but someone said "I'm not drunk" and without thinking I jokingly just said "I am, it's noon and I'm drunk as fuck!"
Immediately I got attacked from all sides, how DARE I?! not a minute later the kids mom uses "fuck" twice in a single sentence... Like... Ok!
So I honestly just didn't speak again until they left, then let my mother know that I will not be in her home while they are again, and that I have to watch my words enough at work and do not wish to do so in my free time, which is why I do not choose to spend time around kids often.
I'm now being told that I'm just an asshole, that her friend's kid is her friend's business, not mine, and that I _need to apologize_ now mind you, the first thing I said upon getting screamed at by five different people was "sorry, my bad, I wasn't thinking and it just slipped out" no, not good enough, apparently I need to give a full on AA style ammends making apology.
So anyway, AITA here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
evBAAHXlS1U1tZLYMkJpnOsXcT5Cb3TO
|
b1zj4i
|
{
"description": "being mad at my helicopter parent",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being mad at my helicopter parent?
|
For starters, I'm a sixteen year old and my parents have been divorced for almost all my life. They aren't hostile to one another and are usually very civil. My dad remarried and my mom is still single. This week is spring break for me, so I was at my dad's for almost the entire week.
Yesterday I went to a friend's (let's call him Sam) house to hangout after my soccer practice. My dad had dropped me off to practice and one of my other friends took me to Sam's house as I don't have my driver's license.
All goes fine until about 10:45ish when my mom texts my dad asking where I am. My dad responds, "He's at Sam's house, right?" (I told my dad I would be going to a friend's house Friday and Saturday the day before he dropped me off. I also reminded him the day of as well) My mom interprets this as him not knowing where I am, instead of the logical thinking that," He's at Sam's, unless you've heard otherwise?" This causes my mom to go ballistic, calling my phone multiple times and texting me multiple times as well.
However, I did not see the texts or calls because my phone automatically goes to do not disturb at 10. Also, I don't always keep my phone near me as I try to actually hang out with my friends instead of be on my phone the entire time.
About 45 minutes after she goes ape shit, I see the texts from my parents ( my dad had texted me a bunch too because my mom told him that I was avoiding her or something). I responded to my mom like this: my dad knows where I am, (she asked if dad knew where I was) Sam's parent's were ok with me staying the night, (they were) and that I had already told her throughout the week that I was staying the night at a friend's house Friday (3 times in fact).
What's even worse, Sam tells me later that my mom had called his parents (who were asleep) multiple times around MIDNIGHT. On top of that, my mom texts me back that I need to start being more responsible and I was acting like a brat.
Today she is still mad at me and now wants me to download an app that lets her track me 24/7. My dad brushed this whole thing aside because "being a single parent is hard".
Don't get me wrong, I'm so grateful to have parents that care about me, but I don't think her behavior can be swept under the rug because "being a single parent is hard". AITA for still being mad at her?
TL;DR : Went to sleepover at friend's house and notified my parents the days prior. Mom forgot about this and blew up mine and my friend's parent's phones up around midnight. Says I was being a brat because I hadn't told her every single detail of my day or because my I "made my own plans" without them knowing.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
v1qMJCYw3sMleV4jR7NnDuFHcJZFerm5
|
b6vave
|
{
"description": "moving someone's cones so I could park there",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for moving someone’s cones so I could park there
|
I was visiting family in an area I visit a few times a week and parking is always pretty tight there (all on street parking, no private parking)
Basically I noticed this guy had traffic cones there on the street all week, but other times I had managed to get a space elsewhere.
Today, I couldn’t find a space elsewhere so I moved the cones and parked there. He left an angry note on my car.. am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
EITVcFIXcPMwB2ouL5ebOJ6HcVHsAhBe
|
a65m8i
|
{
"description": "speaking out about who I want and don't want to live with",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for speaking out about who I want and don't want to live with?
|
Context: I'm (18M), a student in a popular english city, and I live in student accommodation with 9 other people. Of us 10, 8 of us had planned to move in together.
Our first problem arose when we realised 8 bedroom houses for 2nd year accommodation were all gone, so we would have to split into 2 houses of 4. Those in each house had been agreed on there and then. I was fine with this then.
But, yesterday, I couldn't attend a house viewing due to Uni work and errands, so by the time I arrived back at my flat, I'm informed plans have changed.
Me and one other guy have now been put in a house with an on and off again couple, the male in that pairing I really didn't want to live with. He's overly noisy, obnoxious, has a new lass round every week, and is just a bit of a dick.
When we agreed who would be in the houses originally, we were adamant that those 2 shouldn't be in the same house, and that those 2 plus the other guy would be a nightmare for anyone (e.g me) as they all do drugs and like crap indie music. Everyone agreed with that then.
As for the rest of the flatmates, well they're all content with their 4 people, and I get along better with them than I do the 3 I would have to live with.
AITA if I want to speak up about this and say outright I do not want to live with them? It would then disrupt the entire housing situation and I would just feel awkward and told to suck it up.
I had considered looking for my own 1 person place, but even then AITA for wanting to live by myself? It could look rude and anti social, and I do get along well with 7 of the 8 people, so I fear I'd be secluded and a bit of a loner if I lived away from everybody.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
2JiZi2V3zp94AiEn5hvlLG2QA2dE9uto
|
afkvco
|
{
"description": "not moving in with my boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not moving in with my boyfriend?
|
I was pregnant and he was an alcoholic. I refused to move in unless he became sober. AITA in that situation?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
v5RCdEXBAHIju5YQZ3PJOuXRWN0NEbvQ
|
b2y3pf
|
{
"description": "wanting my wife to smell my underwear",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA for wanting my wife to smell my underwear? (posting for my stepdad)
|
Disclaimer: First, I'm not 100% sure this is allowed since I wasn't directly involved and second if the title isn't clear enough, this is my stepdad.
​
So my stepdad lost his sense of smell in his teens when he jumped off a 3 story parking structure to catch a frisbee and split his head open (yes, I didn't believe it at first either). Apparently after surgery, he had no sense of smell. Fast forward to last night, and I hear my mom yelling, "No that's disgusting!". My stepdad had asked her to smell his underwear to check if it was clean to wear or not since he himself could not smell it. Now from my point of view, he could easily just toss it in the laundry pile and grab a pair he knows to be clean, but I also (kinda, but not really) see the "help the somewhat disabled person" view. Anyway, is he the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 9
}
|
WRONG
|
RYAKq3KX3jku8EXg5Cpm7sfBnXGfu9W1
|
b26518
|
{
"description": "waking my sleeping friend and making her get out my bed when my so comes home",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I woke my sleeping friend and made her get out my bed when my SO comes home?
|
Title pretty much says it. My best friend spent the night last night. We both stayed up late, and ended up falling asleep in my bed at around 3.30a. I woke up around 7:30a to feed my pets, and have been awake since then. I thought she’d be awake by now, but it’s currently 10a and she’s still asleep.
My fiancé gets off work at 11a. Today was his long day so he worked a 12hr shift last night and I know he’s going to be tired by the time he gets here. Not tired enough to sleep, but he’s going to wanna lay down after he changes out of his clothes.
I get she’s technically a ”guest”, but I mean it’s literally his (our) bed, and even though he’s not going to sleep, I think he should still get to lay down.
So, WIBTA if I woke her up and told her she needed to move to the couch if she wanted to keep sleeping?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 8,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 15,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
0g8B4ZpVcYQq3pWULulNMJvFDhq6ziTz
|
aupzul
|
{
"description": "ignoring my ex",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for ignoring my ex?
|
Background: (I’ll try and make this quick) 24(F) and I broke up with my ex 25(M) a year ago. During the time we were together we never progressed as a couple, never celebrated an anniversary, never spent the holidays together or birthdays together etc.
I felt I was kept at arms length but I couldn’t see past him and couldn’t help but chase him and try and win his affection (Why idk). I brought it up from time to time but the conversations just ended in me feeling confused, unreasonable and apologising. We went on a break a few times because I said he couldn’t commit and he denied it. Anytime I said I didn’t want to be together anymore he said everything I wanted to hear but the words were never followed with actions. This went on for 2/3 years. Honestly I think I held on for so long because I was scared of being myself, scared that I wouldn’t meet anybody and scared of them not being a part of my life anymore.
I broke up with him this time last year and we agreed we would try and stay friends. I didn’t think we would but even so it was comforting at the time. We spoke from time to time online just to catch up but nothing else.
I started dating someone else 4 months ago. We decided to take it slow, dating for a couple of months before making it official. It’s going great and I know it’s early but I can wholeheartedly say I love him (even though I haven’t told him that yet). Anyway, my ex strikes up a conversation online asking how I’ve been etc, we get to talking and he says he misses me I’ve made a mistake walking away and he wants to try again. I tell him I don’t feel the same way and that I’ve met someone else. I thought that would be the end of it and he would leave it at that. Instead since he went out his way to speak to me online more, invited me out to do things with him and generally just asking questions about my new relationship I’m obviously not comfortable speaking to him about.
I didn’t want to be rude to him so politely declined each time. He was giving me a hard time for not wanting to spend time with him and cutting him out my life. He just doesn’t seem to get I don’t think it’s normal to speak to/spend time with an ex, even more so when one of us is in a new relationship. More recently the last month or so, he’s still tried to speak to me but I’ve ended up just ignoring him. I don’t know how else to deal with it. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
uBYyQ7jMUngyv2FgjGbs7Z5PtHFANcKR
|
ask498
|
{
"description": "being mad at my girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being mad at my girlfriend?
|
There was a farewell party for one of my colleagues. I was heading there on my motorcycle. Car came from the other direction with the high beam on, I couldn't see anything for a moment. One of the pedestrian decided to cross the road without even stoping and checking. All of his clothes were completely black, so I couldn't see him until he was right near me. I was at a rather slow pace, approx 30km/hr. Decided to save that asshole, so I jammed on my breaks and swerved to the left. That asshole got the walk untouched. Meanwhile I had scratches all over the body and a badly bruised shoulder.
Later I texted my girlfriend explaining about the situation. She texted back "where did the accident happen?" This was the only text she sent.
Am I the asshole for being mad at her for not even calling to check if I was okay. I'm not asking for her to drop everything and come to check up on me, but at least she could have texted to know if I was okay.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
8p0DUOOpp8cfGmv6MwULS2W7AqFI7RwQ
|
b8m7sg
|
{
"description": "not telling my friends/gf about a sibling that I've cut ties with",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA if I dont tell my friends/gf about a sibling that I've cut ties with?
|
I have an exceptionally emotionally abusive brother which and I will cut absolutely all ties after moving out.
Would that be rude if i don't tell my girlfriend or anyone that I have a brother at all? And if so, what should I do?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 7,
"INFO": 1
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
tgYGEYW3NTARbMGYzIju0VdP4IUf5J99
|
ae04h8
|
{
"description": "lying to someone that I wasn't home",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for lying to someone that I wasn’t home?
|
So there’s this guy who I can’t say I’m particularly close with. We used to be, but I ended up trying to get him out of my life because they are the type of person that just sucks the life out of you. He has also made me feel like a bad person for things out of my control for multiple occasions so I’m already biased as to not help him out. Today he asked me a question over text. He wanted to borrow a textbook for a good reason. He then said he would be over soon. Reading this I felt the request wasn’t that big of a deal. However, the fact that he was almost demanding I hand over the book and welcoming himself over led me to say I was running errands and he couldn’t come over.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
UYZA1i5kdgHLiejIPVMdL9bd3y1aUxLF
|
ak2fft
|
{
"description": "not wanting to drive our son to my MIL's",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting to drive our son to my MIL's?
|
My mother in law drives, she drives to work, to the store, but never wants to drive to our house, she wants him to be brought to her. It's a 15-20 minute drive. Now my mother is trying to guilt trip me into driving him over there, and apparently I'm in the wrong. Am I the asshole for not wanting to deliver my kid to her? Sorry, on mobile.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 6
}
|
INFO
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
b2hsZGepM29Xu6b07RxFLqS4y6gDgGGc
|
a0dvtk
|
{
"description": "being upset about my roommates family visiting for a month",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being upset about my roommates family visiting for a month?
|
My roommate and I are currently sharing a 2 bedroom 2 bathroom apartment. We both work full time. She just told me that her family (mom and 2 sisters) are coming from very far away to visit her for 3 weeks around Christmas. We each have our own bedroom and bathroom, but her room is small so at least 1 person will have to sleep in our living room. The couch in our living room is mine and I’ve already told her that I don’t want anyone sleeping on it, especially when it would be every night for 3 weeks. When she told me this would be happening she didn’t ask me if it was okay, she just said it in a “this is what’s happening” way. Fortunately I will be gone to visit my family for 2 weeks during that time, but I really don’t want to have to share my apartment for multiple days with her whole family who I’ve never even met. Also, she works very long hours and she’ll be working while her family is visiting, so they will be at our apartment alone all day. I would understand the situation if her family couldn’t afford to stay in a hotel or something, but I know they’re pretty wealthy. I’m already pretty frustrated with her as a roommate for numerous other things, but this just seems really rude and inconsiderate. I’m a shy person and I prefer to just keep to myself when I come home from work, and the fact that her whole family will be living with us just makes me really uncomfortable. What do you all think?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
goCrJrEO6c0Ykj0fsY8U5ya8fqjtXVCe
|
ad3hya
|
{
"description": "telling my girlfriend she needs to sort out her priorities",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For telling my girlfriend she needs to sort out her priorities?
|
After I went out to dinner with my girlfriend, we sat in the car at her place and talked about how life has been going. I'm currently a high school senior, and take pride in getting good grades. So when I asked her how she was doing in her classes, she just said she stopped trying. I continued to question her, asking why she doesn't try, especially since she has made efforts towards keeping good grades as well. But she just said there was no point in trying. I kept talking to her about it until she just told me to leave. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
qSB88bkpsoSf04oZRApoFGceISqdKT3h
|
agsvbe
|
{
"description": "not wanting my mom in my dad's hospital room",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting my mom in my dad's hospital room?
|
History: My mom and dad have been divorced for around 28 years. When they first split and my siblings and I were little, they fought like cats and dogs, and there was much shit talking from both sides. Never any details, but always screaming that led to more screaming. There was a period of around 10 years where they seemed to get along, but then it was back to constantly fighting and us kids in the middle of it all. Needless to say, I have a very fucked up relationship with both of them. My mom is very high control and manipulative, and my dad is very sneaky, evasive, and manipulative. This has led to periods of both me and my brother )who is special needs) either totally blocking or limiting both of them from our lives at times throughout the years to maintain our own mental health. My brother has been in both of their care at different times in his life, but he now lives independently with some outside assistance. Most of their interaction in the last few years has been in relation to the care of my brother, as we found out my dad was doing some shady side shit with his money when we decided my brother needed to move out and live on his own. Every discussion between my mom and dad in the last few years has ended in the cops being called, a public screaming match, a screaming match over the phone, or various threats.
The conflict:
My dad had a hemorrhagic stroke and is in the ICU a few hours away from our hometown. My brother works during the week and will not be able to visit him until the weekend. My mom had also previously planned a trip to stay with my my brother the same weekend. My mom offered to drive him up to the hospital (even though some friends from my dad's church offered to give him a ride), and on a group call with me and my brother said that she'll be in the room with him during the visit as she's afraid it will make my brother upset and emotional and she wants to 'be there for him'. And since she assumed no one else would be in the room with him, she'll do whatever my brother prefers. I had literally just told her another sibling would be here by then to stay with dad long term and so he would not be in the room alone. She said she just wants to 'support both of her kids through this difficult time.'
I told her she absolutely does not need to be in the room, as the goal to get my dad out of ICU is to get his blood pressure down, and her being in the room will certainly raise it. If his blood pressure gets too high, it could worsen the bleeding in his brain, or even cause another stroke. My perspective is whatever my brother feels (and certainly my mom) should come second, the priority should be on taking care of the patient. If my brother feels uncomfortable, it will pass and he'll be ok. Even if he has to go in the room without my mom (which he won't). I told her she needs to respect the patient, as well as what I'm asking her to do, and back off.
My mom will not let up on this and is adamant that she'll do whatever she feels she need to 'support her kids, especially my brother' (relevant fact: she lives 5 hours away, not sure she understands the irony of that). And I am adamant that she's not getting in the ICU, she has no place here, and she needs to back off.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
89MbbGUX5ul5WrcSkIDfI2RlyFkbPoVB
|
9ztus8
|
{
"description": "considering cancelling my wedding with my fiance",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 18
}
|
AITA for considering cancelling my [33m] wedding with my fiance [31f]
|
Throwaway cause this account would be easy to find. Also sorry for formating, I'm on mobile.
So this all happened today. I'm currently in a hotel thinking everything through and I decided to turn to reddit for advice. My fiance got engaged two years ago, and we've been together for eight. At this point it honestly feels like we're married. With the wedding coming up in a few months, and the fact they we didn't get to see them for Thanksgiving, we decided to go to dinner with her parents.
Some context on her parents, they are very rich. Her dad is some kind of doctor and her mom just comes from a wealthy family. They aren't very giving to her though- besides college, they haven't given her money since she left home. Which is fine, she's always been an independent person.
So while we were at dinner her mom said something along the lines of "We were disappointed to hear that you rejected our offer of paying for the wedding." My fiance looked very awkward all of the sudden, and I was confused because this was the first I'd heard of it.
The whole conversation after this is simply that I asked to speak with my fiance privately for a moment. Basically she told me that her parents offered to pay our wedding, but she rejected their offer and never told me about it. This may not seem like a huge deal, but it was to me. I have a job. So does she, but it isn't a very well paying job, as her degree didn't really create that many career options. Right now she's a waiter hoping to eventually find a job in her field. We don't make much money. Enough to pay for our bills and groceries with very little leftover. That's the only reason we've been engaged for so long. We've been saving up so much money for so long to get to pay for this wedding. Now I find out we could've gotten this wedding for free? I know it sounds greedy of me, but these past years have been so stressful, living paycheck to paycheck. Even if we decided to pay for the wedding ourselves, how could she not even mention it to me? We could have discussed it together and made our decision together, instead of her just deciding to say no without even mentioning it. I feel betrayed by someone who I thought would never hurt me. I don't really know what to do, but I'm not so sure I want to go through with this wedding anymore. It isn't too late to get our money back on a lot of the things we've paid for.
Please, help me out. I don't know who else to ask.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 15,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 18
}
|
WRONG
|
dTdKukOxupfMg2PNA0PkSwUyMjX0p1iM
|
ad6m5m
|
{
"description": "dating a 'friends' ex boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA if I date a ‘friends’ ex boyfriend...
|
I moved to a new school in September and obviously when you move it’s kinda hard making friends at first. I’ve made friends with a group of girls but there’s a few in the group who I’m not really close with because we don’t have any classes together and we just haven’t really bonded. One of the girls I’m not close with has a boyfriend and me and him get on really well and have been talking a lot. The other day he told me he really likes me and would break up with his gf for me. I really like him and I wanna be with him but I’m scared about how his gf will react and whether all the other girls will hate me too...
AITA if I date him???
|
HISTORICAL
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EVERYBODY
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WRONG
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E7EeIuXbqgpAQN1GzRW3WeQXr0iGqgMM
|
a15cvq
| null |
AITA? My friend is kinda dumb.
|
I've been friends with this guy for about one and a half years. Let's call him Jim. During that time, I realized that he was a minipulative asshole that (I think, and some of my friends) used me. We met through football, but really only hung out by Xbox. He always got mad at me for doing simple mistakes in a game, left the party, and message me shit like "Nobody likes me, must be easy for you." He had a "suicidal" fit multiple times, which messed my shit up. I found out a little late that Jim was an ass. I finally said that I don't want to play with him/talk to him with the help of my friends. It really was an abusive/toxic relationship. He had another fit and eventually sent me messages through everything. Instagram, Xbox, my fucking school email, Jim really was a shit person. One day, I unblocked him from Xbox and he messaged me that he didn't want to play with me because I was the ass. He said, "if you don't care that you are losing your best friend then shame on you." Don't you see a problem? I already said we weren't friends! So I said back, "dude I already unfriended you" and he just said shame on you. We have a few mutual friends and one of them, let's call him John, asked me to say hi to him, and I did in my most sincere way, and dickhead "that's what we're calling him now) just said no and whispered something to John. Since dickhead and John were walking next to each other and I was ahead of him, I couldn't tell what he said, but I didn't really care. Also, other reason why he's a fuck up, is that he made fun of my hearing (I'm partially deaf) and I called him out on it (we were still friends) and he just replied with, "stop being such a crybaby." Another thing is, is that caused a disabled person to cry. Let's call the unfortunate kid "Ben." Ben was going up to the lunch table on his motorized wheelchair. Dickhead thought I'd be a great idea to put his foot in front of his wheel, causing Ben to cry. Dickhead never apologized. He also made fun of my financial point, which hurt me really bad. So am I the asshole for giving up on him, and ignoring his suicidal play (it's been a couple weeks)? Or is he the verified dickhead?
P.S: thanks to everyone who read this whole thing, I know it's long but I'm really fucked up right now, I can't deal with another death/suicide.
Summary: "Broke up" with friend. Friend spams me. He's hurt me and others in the past a lot. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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|
anwg8l
|
{
"description": "not wanting to listen to my friends (suicidal and depressing) problems",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting to listen to my friends (suicidal and depressing) problems
|
So I’m always up to listening to my friends problems or rants but when it comes to sad problems of theirs and I mean sad where they go back to cutting and other things I don’t like listening to them because it affects me emotionally and mentally I get sad for no reason
(Some context) I was on the phone with a friend of mine catching up with them and they were telling me how they went back to cutting and etc.. a while after it put me in such a bad mood it lasted for a couple days where I was just sad but I don’t know if it would be rude of me to push her away or telling her that I don’t want to listen to her sad problems so reddit would I be an asshole if i don’t listen to their problems if they put me in a bad emotional and mental state?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
sQtGQHBEgZnnPX2GXbW548yFf80Rf7Jl
|
adpb41
|
{
"description": "not wanting to give money to my mom's parents",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to give money to my mom's parents?
|
Mom suggested, because I now have a job, I should consider giving money to her parents as a goodwill gesture for Chinese New Year. Traditionally, money is given in a red envelope from married couples to young children/adults, who aren't married. I'm not married nor am I planning to get married for years to come.
And I want to clarify that, I started working a couple of months ago and I am not making much but the moment I started, I budgeted enough savings for the holidays. Since this was my first year to give back, I wanted to show everyone who supported me to get to where I am today, that I appreciated every one of them. I wanted this to be a Christmas everyone remembered. One of these individuals being my dad's mom, grandmama. Grandmama immigrated here with gramps one month after I was born and took care of me while my parents were at work. They gave me so much love and affection and taught me to believe in myself. Their love for me overshadowed the lack of love/borderline hatred I received from my mom's parents. Grandmama and gramps were my biggest supporters growing up but unfortunately, my gramps passed away a few years ago, completely unexpected, while I was still in university. That took a serious toll on my health but it's not about me - I know my grandmama misses gramps a lot, especially since it happened around this time of year. So I wanted to do something nice for her and I did.
Fast forward to a couple of weeks later and here we are. My mom is asking me to give her parents money to her parents because I gave my grandmama something. But here's the thing, the moment I was born, my mom's parents decided that they did not want to help raise me. They did not care that I was their first grandchild and that we lived under the same roof. They insisted on my dad taking me over to his brother's house, where his parents reside, and have them take care of me. They refused to pick me up from school even though it was 3 blocks away and had my grandparents take the train to pick me up. Her parents showed no interest in me and constantly berated me growing up. They told me that I would never amount to anything growing up because I just wasn't good enough and that I would never be good enough. This was traumatic growing up because they did not show me an ounce of affection or compassion. While I worked hard to show everyone I was worth it, I have to say, the other part of the motivation was to prove my mom's parents wrong. So I guess in a way, they did contribute to my success - just in a very unhealthy manner which is a reason why I need to see a professional to resolve these issues. I understand that by blood, her parents are indeed my family but that's not really how I define family...
AITA for not wanting to give money to my mom's parents?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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ak8wk8
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{
"description": "asking an old friend of mine what everyone at my school thought after I transferred schools",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for asking an old friend of mine what everyone at my school thought after I transferred schools?
|
Back in spring, I decided to get social media to get in contact with friends that I hadn't seen since 5th grade because I had moved schools (I'm in 9th grade now). I found a friend's Instagram (let's call her A) and I've known her since Kindergarten. Her account was private, so I had to attempt to follow her a couple times because she constantly kept denying my requests. Eventually, she accepted it and as soon as she did we had a conversation through DMs. When I initially messaged her, I described myself and asked if she remembered me. A said something along the lines of "Omg, I do!" I don't remember since the conversation has been deleted. We caught up, and we gave each other a basic gist of what has changed since we last saw each other (What school I go to, if A still goes to the same school, stuff focused on us and not on other people. An entire weeks goes by after that conversation, and I decide to ask her what my classmates at school thought of me after I moved, and A doesn't respond. The only thing I see instead is the "seen" thing that shows after someone sees the message. A couple days go by, and I say "Hey, it's OK if they thought of me negatively after I moved, I just wanna know. If you don't wanna talk about it, we can talk about something else." Just like before, there was no response and just a "seen" at the bottom of our conversation. A few days after I sent that message, I deleted both messages asking the question and tried changing the conversation. Another "seen" as usual. At this point, I just gave up and proceeded to not attempt to talk to her. A couple weeks later, I find out that she blocked me ( I don't remember how I found out). This has bothered me for a while, and I wanna know who was the asshole in this situation.
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
tMdpxMFC0Y35HlVBR6FzTlCE0qtLZPdK
|
a5cpn6
|
{
"description": "cutting someone off because they seem to be involved in an mlm",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA if I cut someone off because they seem to be involved in an MLM?
|
Usually this is something I’m 100% comfortable with, but this is weird for me. I met a girl at work the other day that I REALLY liked. Kids around the same age as mine. Really sweet woman. We started talking about one of our common interests and she invited me out for coffee and I was elated. I’m a social person but it’s a little hard for me to make connections like that organically.
Today she messaged me asking me to post something for an MLM on my wall for her...
I am beyond a little turned off by MLMs. I seriously fucking loathe them to the point that being the crazy MLM hater is a part of my identity. The friends I have know at this point not to even MENTION it to me. But she doesn’t know that, so it’s not as if she was totally oblivious.
I can’t decide if I’m being too harsh. I hate to be so blunt but it’s easy for me to write off people I’m kind of friends with when they make a choice that they know, thanks to me lol, is unethical and exploitative and still have the balls to ask me to support it. Because they’ve taken what they know about me and ignored it. But this girl has no idea how deeply the hate flows through me, and she could be really nice...
I feel like I’m not going to regret keeping another hun out of my life but my passionate hatred has been the subject of many debates among my friends and family and I just gotta hear it straight- am I being kinda an unreasonable asshole?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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AUTHOR
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|
WRONG
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vEG2CGZwenPP0jBx73o5P1aYNovmP1o2
|
amcwk0
|
{
"description": "being disgusted at smoking and obesity after losing family members to both of them",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 22
}
|
AITA for being disgusted at smoking and obesity after losing family members to both of them?
|
Everyone in life has encountered someone/body with bad habits, and, though we may not want to admit it, we're guilty of a few ourselves. Knowing this, I've never been one to be too critical of other people's flaws. However, there are two bad habits in particular that I've always felt strongly about: smoking and overeating/obesity. I've always known these to be unhealthy, but it really started to hit hard with me after I lost two family members to these vices.
My maternal grandpa was morbidly obese, and my paternal grandpa was a heavy smoker (we'll call them MG and PG). I had a lot of fond memories with PG, and I had a few memories of MG when I was really little.
According to my mom, MG was a decent dad to her, but his unhealthy lifestyle really dragged her and her siblings (my aunts and uncles) down. He was lethargic mentally as well as physically; not exactly a good role model, but not quite on the level of dead-beat-dad. Eventually, MG was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes, got his toes amputated because of it, and then died when I was about 10 or 12. My mom had always taught me and my sibs to be healthy, but it was our experience with MG that reminded us what happens when we, in my mom's words, "eat yourself to death."
PG was a much sadder case. I spent a lot more time with him growing up, and, as a kid, I used to joke about him smoking all those cigars. A few years ago, though, PG was diagnosed with lung cancer, and when he was in his last hours, my family all stopped what they were doing, and we went to see him. He was completely comatose, able to hear us, but unable to move, see, or speak outside pained groans. My father occasionally gave him drips of water, and said things like "Hi, Dad. It's us. Your family's here." PG died the very next morning.
Now, I feel a particular sense of disgust when I see those who are morbidly obese or smoking. I know I can't get people to change their minds, but I can't just pretend I'm ok with it either. I used to be more abrasive about smoking when it was brought up in conversation, making comments like "At least your lung cancer will taste like cherries." Nowadays, I don't confront anyone, but I'm still pretty passive aggressive about it. I either cringe or my eyes pop wide when I see an obese person, and I cover my nose when someone smells like they took a bath in cigarette butts (not just from PG's death, but because it smells REALLY bad.) AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
i0xOrIt8RBzGY9xL9nFtHhNvvkfZH031
|
b0eujs
|
{
"description": "giving my boyfriend an ultimatum",
"pronormative_score": 20,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
WIBTA for giving my boyfriend an ultimatum
|
My boyfriend and I met online and we've been together for almost four years and have yet to meet in person. We're both in our late 20's(Both of us are 27). We both have jobs and live by ourselves. I love this man and I'm sure he loves me as well and the only issue I have is when it comes to our future.
I've brought up visiting several times. Usually it gets brushed aside. Other times he tells me it's just a bad time but doesn't really give a reason. It just sort of blows my mind because he always makes comments that hint towards visiting/living together like "I can't wait to take you to this place" or "It's gonna be nice having you here to help", "It's gonna be fun doing this when you're here", etc etc.
I know the thought of him cheating will come up. Is it possible? I guess, but I have no proof and no reason to believe it. We've exchanged pictures and video chat so it's not a catfishing type situation.
I love him and want to continue to be with him. It hurts to even consider breaking up. I also want to visit him and be with him though. I can take the long distance but I need to feel like I'm working towards something.
I want to give him an ultimatum and tell him that we need to sit down and discuss this- when a visit can happen otherwise we need to break up.
Would I be an asshole for doing so?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
trgaABQol2q0jZgZhyMex7AQ58suBafz
|
a44qy0
|
{
"description": "yelling at kids for destroying my bushes and lights",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for yelling at kids for destroying my bushes and lights?
|
Hello, a frequent poster here with another AITA story. This happened yesterday in the evening. I was sitting at home after school got out and the neighborhood kids were playing at usual. This time they were playing hide and seek. A kid hid in my bushes but the bushes had my Christmas lights on them. He ruined my bush and my lights. I told him to buzz off the previous week but this time he ended up ruining stuff. I raised my voice and told him to never come on my property again. He told me sorry and left looking so defeated. I know its just a bush but I paid $40 for the lights and idk how much on plant fertilizer. I'm not a mean person that screams at kids but they shouldn't ruin other peoples property.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
F4m5VnOZAuOexay4BurBln5kSGNvPFq5
|
b9slfm
|
{
"description": "wanting my D&D Player to be someone else",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA For Wanting My D&D Player To Be Someone Else?
|
So this conflict has been resolved amongst ourselves but it's been at the back of my mind about whether I was in the wrong, hopefully that doesnt break the sub's rules.
Im the DM (Dungeon Master) for a group of 5 players from my friend group. We recently finished the Lost Mines of Phandelver campaign after that sort of fizzled out and I decided to run them through Waterdeep Dragon Heist next.
The majority of my group, including myself, are relatively new to D&D and it consists of:
Myself, the DM- A D&D newbie whose DMed twice and played as a PC twice
R- Formerly a Goblin Bard, now a Tiefling Cleric in the new game
J- A Tiefling Bloodhunter who kept his character and we just rolled him back to Lv. 1
M- The only veteran of the group, played ~4 years, who used to be a Lizardfolk Barbarian but wanted to be a Tiefling Warlock
And two other party members who dont factor into this issue.
I bet you cant see the pattern here /s
So J was already a Tiefling, as I mentioned the character was just carried over between campaigns, and then when we talk about trying out a new campaign R asks about trying out a different character because he's sick of being a squishy bard. He eventually comes up with the idea of a Tiefling Cleric.
Here's where we reach the AITA:
Like I said, M wants to be a Tiefling too. Straight off the bat I tell him 'I'd rather you not be a Tiefling as I dont want too many of one species' and I repeat this multiple times and each time he tells me no, he wants to stick with the Tiefling. Its not that I have a problem with Tieflings- having too many of any race is a problem for me. It'd be the same if I had a lot of Elves or Dragonborn, I'd want some people to switch. R and J were already Tieflings and they were Tieflings first so if anyone should change it should be M.
I feel like the a-hole here because I was essentially forcing him to play a different character. To me it seems obvious that M is in the wrong but I asked people both inside the group and out and while I got some support a fair few told me that I was being too harsh or that it shouldnt matter what species he played.
(M did eventually switch to an Aasimar Warlock but I wanted to ask a non-bias group about the situation because I didnt want to have been the a-hole over trivial things and its been bothering me that I couldve been.)
So pass your divine judgement, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
VUVMh4ArX0po1N3SBElfSevQQbmIR69H
|
ajwztn
|
{
"description": "breaking up with my girlfriend after she, um, literally shat herself",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 20
}
|
AITA for breaking up with my [M15] girlfriend [F15] after she, um, literally shat herself?
|
As much as I really wish it was, I swear to fucking god this isn’t a shitpost.
Alright, so I’m sitting next to her during lunch, I smell something horrible and as I look around for the source, she tells me she shat herself.
My friends sitting to the left of me thankfully didn’t hear her.
Now I (assuming that, generally, people above the age of 5 don’t soil themselves) didn’t believe her so she takes me to the girls bathroom, and ah, “proves” it. She *apparently* caught some sort of bug yesterday.
So I pretty much lost my shit, told her that she was disgusting and that we were done. We were only together for about three months, and I only really liked her because she was hot, so I don’t miss her that much.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
0OLvvFAbIGhs56yIC5TCqmG9hqI97iZh
|
ad0i50
|
{
"description": "wanting to cut this friend off",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to cut this friend off?
|
So I've got this friend, met him in a class kinda funny alright guy overall at first, we play a game or two and code together at the start (blah blah). Here's why I'm considering ghosting the dude and just like 100% gtfo. He messages me in the middle of the day to play video game, the dude has no job, and he still lives with his dad, which Is no big deal I suppose but then I recalled he was talking about dealing weed in a joking manner when we were in class. I can't recall if he was serious or nah, then my mind started rambling what if this dude is a drug dealer, and I talked a lot about some expensive stuff I had in class computer other tech stuff and I'm worried the guys trying to like stalk me or some shut to fucking rob me and I feel super paranoid. Am I the asshole? BTW he also admitted to abusing adderal and joked about selling hard drugs when we played online, then I'd ask like "wait what" "wait you did fuckin what mate" and he panicked and said ah nothing. The last spooky thing is of the few occasions I've been over to his place (never alone, was always with a group of people from class) he had a clip to a gun and was showing us it and then said his father took the gun away from him tho, like I wanna 100% block the, dude but I dunno if I'm being crazy or if maybe I'm paranoid, or maybe yall need more info, sorry if this is too rambly
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
G558D7tvl4L5RZjtLu6DPtenEPCD5hi3
|
b4igns
|
{
"description": "refusing sex on health grounds",
"pronormative_score": 29,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA for refusing sex on health grounds?
|
My wife and I have been married for 10 years, dated for 6 before that, have 2 kids together. No marital issues (the occasional fight, but nothing drastic). I had a vasectomy 5 years ago and have had no complications.
​
Here's the rub: she has been getting UTIs (Urine Tract Infections) for the past 3 years, and it only happens after we have sex. We do the deed, and for the next 2\~3 days she's in pain, hobbling around the house like a 100-year-old woman and running to the bathroom every 30 minutes. We seen doctors, specialists, she's taken antibiotics, probiotics, supplements, we've both changed our diet completely to account for mineral and other factors, but it keeps happening. If we don't have sex, she's as healthy as a horse. One night of love-making and she's making zombie sounds.
​
And I feel like crap. I'm totally fine, health wise, but I have to see the woman I love on the verge of tears for half a week after sex. So I began to withdraw. I told her exactly what I was feeling and why, and she says "don't worry, it's my problem, I'll deal with it." But I can't ignore it. For the past year and a bit I've been making excuses as to why I can't have sex anymore (too tired, early start at work tomorrow, etc).
​
It's getting to the point where she almost drags me to bed in lingerie, and when I refuse, we argue for an hour why I'm denying her sex. My point has never changed: As much as I would love to, I don't want to do something to her that will result in her being in pain. She says not to worry about it, but it's damn hard to ignore when she's groaning in pain next to me for a few nights, and I know for a fact that i'm at fault (biologically at least).
​
My wife says I'm selfish and cold-hearted for doing what I'm doing, but from where I sit, it's either hurt her feelings or feel guilty myself knowing I'm (in some way) the cause of her pain.
​
I fear I have become the asshole in our marriage.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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"OTHER": 9,
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|
NOBODY
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
fahskwbJZjcvBN9NNBNKsC75ECho5DZz
|
amfir6
|
{
"description": "not wanting to be friends with a depressed person",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to be friends with a depressed person?
|
So, little bit of backstory, I met this guy around grade 7. We've been friends for 5-6 years now, but not really...great, friends. The kind of friend that's in your general group, but you're not super personal friends with, and we rarely to never hang out.
Recently, he's been open about depression, and I understand how hard it us to fight, I've had depression throughout the past 2-3 years of my life and have only started feeling happier the past 2 months. Here's the thing, I'm not leaving him alone. I still talk to him when he needs to rant and when he's in a depressive episode, but every thing i seem to do or say he takes in a hostile manner. If he makes a joke and i laugh? He claims i only do it out of pity...and he's not necessarily wrong, but I can't just tell him that. If he makes a joke and I don't laugh, he gets upset thinking I hate it. We just don't share many interests and I find talking to the guy really hard, it's like a minefield.
Am I the asshole for thinking like this?
TL;DR: Friend has depression, and I constantly lie and force myself to be with him because I don't really enjoy his presence.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
XEUJbnkUZHVi8XzE0W96UV2jKoIl9iiJ
|
a1mzus
|
{
"description": "not going home for all of winter break",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not going home for all of winter break?
|
I am currently a student at a large university located nearly five hours away from where my family currently resides and am the oldest child and the first to be sent away to university. My family is very close knit and prioritizes familial connection over pretty much anything else. However, recently there has been much conflict between my family and myself centered around holidays.
​
Seeing as I am a student who lives an apartment and must work to pay for go out, pay rent, and buy food I got a job at Target to pay for all of these things. This is where the issue arises, as I began work back in September. Black Friday meant that I had to miss out on Thanksgiving with my family, as I live five hours away without a car, reasonably enough this upset everyone and as a response I invited them to come up the following weekend to spend time with me in order to make up for missing Thanksgiving.
​
Now it's on to round two, as winter break comes up and as such Christmas is approaching. My family is demanding I quit my job and get a job at the University so I can spend the entirety of the break with them; However, I don't want to do this because it means I would be taking a large pay cut as well as a massive reduction in hours. In trying to reach an agreement everyone could be happy with, I decided to take off from December 18 to December 28. This means I would get to spend time with my family while my mother is not working, while my father would be free, and while my siblings would not be in school. In light of this, my family has started a campaign against the idea, saying that it is still unacceptable and that I should quit.
​
I understand that my family wants me home for Christmas and to spend time with them, but I also need my job in order to keep paying for rent and affording food. So am I the asshole for not quitting my job and going home all of break?
​
Tl;dr: My tight knit family wants me to quit my job in order for me to go home and spend time with them all of break.
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HISTORICAL
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"description": "making a small joke",
"pronormative_score": 4,
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|
AITA for making a small joke?
|
So this girl that I've been talking to online for three years now has recently told me that she has begun to cut her wrists because of things that have been happening in real life. After she told me about it, I instantly became very sympathetic towards her as purposely conflicting pain upon yourself is something that I do not approve of whatsoever.
These past couple of days, I have been talking to her about it and trying to get her to stop and to ensure that she doesn't do it again.
Getting to the joke, it happened about an two hours ago now where she told me she had got banned from a Discord server for calling all 'People who are of X nationality are all idiots' so I said in a joking manner, "I know an idiot, and she so happens to be X nationality too!" she did not like that and instantly told me to apologise which I did. Afterwards, I stated that other people I talk to are able to take small jokes like that so she said "Fuck off. Don't fucking compare me with anyone ever again" which I replied with a simple "Ok." and blocked her.
I can understand where she is coming from with the comparison, but I can honestly say it wasn't meant to be a comparison of "They can do this, so why can't you", I was simply just stating something. I can also see that because of the wrist cutting, she is in emotional (and physical) pain and maybe that joke was said at the wrong time but with her, there never really has been a right time as pretty much everything has to be serious otherwise I'd just get ignored for some time afterwards.
I don't want to be the person in the wrong here as I never like to make people unhappy and always try to diffuse things and keep people smiling if I can help it.
There have been previous accounts where I felt like I should no longer be talking to her anymore and I actually did completely stop talking for 6 months before shamefully going back.
If I am in the wrong, then I will unblock her and apologise once again and hopefully, she'll understand. But if not then I just don't know what else to do.
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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a159u7
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{
"description": "getting into an argument with my gf's mom",
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|
AITA for getting into an argument with my gf’s mom?
|
So my girlfriend of 2 years has invited her mom and 15yo brother to spend Christmas together (this was last year). We live in a different country, so she thought it’s be nice to celebrate festive season all together as she doesn’t see the family very often.
My gf didn’t really consult this with me, and bought the flight tickets for her mom and brother for one week at ours. This was kind of annoying considering we live a small studio (but we have room enough for 4). I thought 4 days with the family would have been enough, but not the whole week! Gf explained that the tickets were at reasonable price only for a 7 day period and that getting a hotel in the city is super expensive (which is the case).
When her family came over, my gf was working, so she’s asked me to take them to the city and show them around. I was on holidays at that time, but I was still mad at her, so I declined (I also really needed my own space due to stress at work). Then Christmas came around and my gf and her mom were cooking dinner, also brought me some presents which was nice, but I didn’t want to spend Christmas with her fam, so I left to my office. When I came back, the whole family was watching TV really loud and I felt that that was too much for me, so I turned off the TV. Her mom told me to get back to the office if I kept acting like this.
Next day, gf’s mom came over and told me that I was very impolite and she was mad. I told her that she didn’t value my space, literally doing anything she wanted around the house. She was also mad that I didn’t spend time with them at all over these 7 days, but I mentioned that I’m an introvert and stressed at work, and wanted to spend Christmas with my girlfriend only. So we got in a huge argument and since last Christmas I haven’t spoken to my her mom.
AITA for getting into such argument with her mom?
|
HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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{
"description": "not disclosing my autism at work",
"pronormative_score": 63,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not disclosing my autism at work?
|
I was diagnosed with autism from an early age. My parents made it seem like this was something I should be ashamed of, so they told me I should never tell anyone else.
I started this job 6 months ago. Right from the beginning my manager stressed how much our team was "like a family". I thought that if I didn't tell her now, we'd get off on the wrong foot. So I later pulled her aside and told her that I'm a naturally quiet / awkward person; I don't mean anything bad by it, it's just something I've always been. My last job someone complained that I was antisocial and I didn't want to give off the wrong impression. She said "Ok. Don't worry about it, we're friendly here."
I still made efforts to be social even though it was uncomfortable. The basics like greeting people, "nice to meet you", smalltalk, etc. If I finished my work early I'd always ask if I could do something more to help, or help anyone else. Called in for shifts, asked to come in early, I thought I was doing everything right. Yes, I was always going to be awkward but I thought my actions could speak louder than words.
Within 2 weeks when she realized I was never going to break out of my shell she started complaining about me. Idk if she knew I heard it, maybe she thought there was more noise in the office than there really was -- but it was within earshot. I'd hear everything clearly. Saying I was too cold, kept to myself, even calling me an asshole. It was like she forgot about our talk, or maybe she didn't care.
I took it as a wake-up call though and made more of an effort to socialize. I'm pretty much a homebody so my fallback for conversations was talking about nerdy things. I was talking with my manager about some TV shows (we both watched the same one, so I made sure she was interested first) and then she just cut the conversation short, turned to the other person in the room and muttered "It's like dealing with Sheldon Cooper."
I kind of withdrew from her after that. The weeks went on and instead of hearing just her complain about me, my other coworkers jumped on the bandwagon and started to too. These people were friendly with me before that so it hurt. I'd hear things like "Now that she's here it's time for everyone else to leave" , "Oh great here comes our favorite person" , "No one even likes her" , "I wish \[our other coworker\] wasn't quitting so we wouldn't have to see her as much".
​
Even after saying all this about me she recently invited me to go to the bar with the others. Honestly after hearing so much people talking about me this way, I turned her down. It feels like if I went out with them they'd just be using me to laugh at how awkward I am.
​
I know autistic people can sometimes come off as rude because we can be blunt or accidentally interrupt people. But is it really that rude for a quiet coworker to keep to themselves? It's making me feel crazy because it's not just one person saying these things.
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "wanting to defend myself",
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|
WIBTA for wanting to defend myself?
|
A few months ago a friend and I had a falling out. It's been over 6 months since I've seen them but I still feel bad about what happened. I sent them a text the other day just for some closure and to apologize. They responded a weekish later being incredibly hurtful and accusatory. They didn't accept my apology or apologize themselves at all. On one hand I want to take the high road for myself and also not get more texts belittling and bashing me. But part of wants to text back and defend myself because the things they said weren't true and were just hurtful for the sake of being hurtful. Would I be an asshole if I texted back in my own defense? Or should I let it go?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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INFO
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WRONG
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{
"description": "msging my Boyfriends Ex friend",
"pronormative_score": 5,
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|
AITA For Msging My Boyfriends Ex Friend?
|
My boyfriend has been visibly upset still about losing his friend, though it's been almost a year.
I told him if he wanted I could contact him, and talk with him for him. He gives me his # and I type up a little thing as politely as I can manage asking him why he left and that it was all I needed of him.
He replies harshly of course, and brings up his weirdo girlfriend saying to "leave her out of it" though I never mentioned her. I told him nothing of it had to do with her and that all I needed was him to verify why he left. He told me to fuck off or he'd report it. I wasn't one to push, cause the most he'd do is waste our time. I just said thank you for his time and cooperation up to that point, and told him to have a nice afternoon before he made a rude remark before I deleted the conversation to simply forget.
I just told my boyfriend he was still kind of a dick and told him it'd be better to still grieve, but try his best to get over him. He told me it was okay and said he loved me.
Am I the asshole?
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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alwl5l
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{
"description": "ghosting someone because they're in a mlm",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 14
}
|
AITA for ghosting someone because they’re in a MLM
|
I’ve been talking to this girl for like a week and we’ve gone out together a couple times. Initially she seemed really cool and funny and she seemed to be interested in me too. I never really use Facebook anymore but I was thinking of searching her up, low and behold I found her. Anyway I kinda continue to lurk and click on her fb profile and the first thing I see is her advertising a mlm (multi level marketing) company, basically those people who sell random shit like essential oils or workout amino acids w.e. Now I wouldn’t really be put off by someone whose in sales but those types of companies are literally like cults and are just super exploitative (look up multi level marketing scams if you’re interested). One of my old co workers was in one of these companies and got fired because he would literally try to sell shit like amino acids to customers (we were both cooks in a restaurant btw lmfao so imagine how crazy these companies have to be to compel a cook come out of the kitchen and try to sell to dining customers). Anyway after seeing that I got completely turned off like I’ve never had an attribute of someone I’ve been into be a deal breaker but for me this was too much. I cringed reading through a couple of her posts trying to sell stuff. Anyway I haven’t replied to her texts in a couple days and I really don’t know what to say but I don’t really want anything to do with her either. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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airvhd
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{
"description": "making out with my friend's ex",
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|
AITA for making out with my friend's ex?
|
This happened a while ago, but in some ways my friend group is still dealing with the emotional fallout, so I wanted to get some unbiased opinions.
Some background: I (24F) met my friend Frank (28M) about six years ago, when I was going through a really rough time. he was there for me when I needed him, and we started to hang out almost every day. Initially we had some issues with boundaries, since he is a very touchy-feely person and I'm generally touch averse, but we talked about it and he started to be more conscious of respecting my space. Through him, I met Alice (27F), who he had dated casually for \~3 months back in 2012. She ended their relationship because he was becoming more emotionally invested than she was, and she wasn't interested in taking things further. They lost contact for a while, but reconnected as friends a few years ago and have been very close since.
Around the time Frank introduced me to Alice, he would always gush to me about how beautiful, smart, funny, etc. she was, and how I would totally understand once I got to know her. It was pretty obvious he wasn't over her, but he insisted that he had no intention of pursuing another relationship with her. He also encouraged me to try dating/hooking up with her, but I wasn't interested in sex or dating at all at that point in time.
Not long after Alice and I met, Frank moved to another state and we all kept in touch through messenger. Alice and I got very close since we no longer had Frank to hang out with in person, hanging out maybe 2-3 times per week just drinking and talking about life.
About a year ago Frank came to visit for a few weeks and stayed with Alice. I knew they had been hooking up, and suspected he still had unresolved feelings for her. This was confirmed when they both talked to me (separately) about a conversation they had where they had talked about maybe dating again in the future, in the context of an open relationship. At this point in time I had been in an extremely happy and loving non-monogamous relationship for around a year, so I was fully supportive of the idea. (I just want to reiterate, they had only talked about it as a possibility, and neither of them said they actually considered themselves to be in a relationship.)
After Frank left Alice and I started hanging out more and one night when we were both a little tipsy we started to make out. I don't remember what prompted it, but it was just casual and didn't go further than kissing and some very light bdsm. We both agreed that we were interested in continuing this dynamic, but we thought we should let Frank know what had happened and that it would most likely happen again in the future. When we told him, at first he responded by saying it was fine, but he later called both of us acting very upset, and apparently he told Alice that what she had done was wrong because I was in a relationship (even though everyone involved knew we weren't monogamous). He later apologized for "acting weird," but Alice responded "I would just like to be able to make out with people without it becoming weird and wrecking our friendships."
She told him that based on the way he had reacted she could no longer see herself being in a relationship with him, and he called me, saying that he was angry with her for changing her mind, leading him on, etc. He also said that when he had talked about me and her hooking up in the past, it had been a joke and I should have known better than to act on it. I told him that I understood he was upset, but I didn't feel I could honestly apologize since they weren't in a relationship, exclusive or otherwise, and he didn't have any right to tell either of us who we could or could not hook up with.
Alice and I haven't hooked up since all of this happened even though the attraction's still there because we don't want to hurt Frank, but I honestly feel a little resentful that he gets to make that call for all of us. I've distanced myself a bit from their friendship as a result, but every now and then I feel like maybe I really was in the wrong and I'm being the selfish one here.
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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A1sfT6ij6rRL6R6KTByVfWbomKprvmil
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alnpeg
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{
"description": "not stopping debating/arguing",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA because I can’t stop debating/arguing?
|
I recently started playing a game with a friend and we play all the time. But every time we do play and he somehow dies, he starts complaining that the guy was hacking and he complains things are completely messed up when he really just doesn’t know how the mechanic works. When I try to explain what happened, he tells me that I argue almost all the time, which is true. I do agree that arguing too much is bad, but I just want him to stop raging at the game all the time. So guys, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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xQ9LdxZC2ETVt0oGm1nI5yFsaKWtU37u
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b7kfx7
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{
"description": "telling my friend to not stay with her day",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for telling my friend to not stay with her day?
|
Ok so I I'm more asking if my friend wbta if she decided to tell her dad she doesnt want to live with him.
She is 17 and lives with 50/50, her dad and step mom half of the time, and her bio mom the other half. She loves her bio mom and her dad, but hates her step mom. She is constantly rude to her and tells her, her problems aren't real. For example she was born without a hip and had sergery as a baby. But as a result she has tremendous pain most of the time, but her step mom tells her it's not real and to get over it. She has pain meds but step mom gets really mad if she takes them.
Her mom also gets really mad at her for the most ridiculous things, like getting fingerprints on the fridge. I have seen it first hand and I was blown away at how the step mom reacted. She yells at her if she finds a pine needle in the house. Just in general really small stuff that is insane to be punished for.
She has tried telling her dad about it but he doesnt seem to care and when she talks to her bio mom she just says she should figure it out with her dad. So it seems like she is stuck. But it's gone on for so long she despises going to her dads. I think since she is 17 she should have more say in where she stays especially if she is miserable for half of her life.
So would she be the ass whole for wanting to go to her moms house full time or atleast more than 50/50?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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RIGHT
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aj9238
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{
"description": "telling my friend that the girl he was talking to over discord was transgender",
"pronormative_score": 30,
"contranormative_score": 29
}
|
AITA for telling my friend that the girl he was talking to over discord was transgender?
|
I’m gonna be honest and say that I have little to no idea what trans people go through, looking to be accepted or just talked to like a regular person. That said, I have this friend I play video games with and she’s transgender(male to female) and I had no idea that she was until I figured it out when she said she was going to a gay, queer, and trans meet up. It was kind of in the back of my mind for a while but it didn’t really bother me. I asked her about it and she confirmed it like it wasn’t a big deal so I assumed she was pretty comfortable with people knowing. Again, this is all new to me as I have never met a trans person before.
Anyways, enough of the back story. I was playing with her when my other buddy joined the call and we played a couple games. I could tell that they were getting along nicely. Couple of days go by and me and him were talking in dms when asked me if I was dating her. I said no. He asked me if I had any advice for talking with her and I just told him so stuff she liked. While we were talking about her I told him that she was transgender and thats when things went downhill. I don’t know what he said to her but she msged me an hour later extremely upset and pissed off. I know he didn’t say anything mean, I think it was mostly because I told him that she was trans.
AITA?
I think I should add that my friend was fine with her being trans. He’s bisexual.
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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jhMuFv14VdViyVsIvGkL5dtqujtgGZzd
|
b5tfa4
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{
"description": "putting my family on a plane to go home after my son tested positive for flu",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for putting my family on a plane to go home after my son tested positive for flu?
|
We had been greatly looking forward to a vacation with another family. Both couples have kids the same age (5-8). The wives are total besties. We had a house rented in Hilton Head with a small pool, bike paths, the works. Great set up. In the few days leading up to the trip, my son was not feeling himself. Took him to pediatrician two times, ears looked fine, lungs were clear, no problema.
So we hop on plane and get to Hilton Head. While we are waiting for check in, we are driving around, getting groceries, etc. Now the boy is vomitting. OK. Great. What can we do to ensure that he is not going to get the other family’s kids sick?
So we take him to the ER. Get a rapid flu test and sure as shit he tests positive. So now everyone starts wearing a mask around him and they close our exam room door—isolation. Get the picture? The ER crew thought it was the real thing.
So we get a hotel room. We cant stay at house with other family, because there would be no way to keep my boy from the other kids. Meanwhile, we have a sick pukey 5 year old in a hotel room away from home. Decisions.
I got us on a plane back home the next day. My wife is walking around in a daze. She had been so looking forward to a week hanging with her buddy and their kids. She agreed that we had to leave when I got us back home, now she says she wishes we stayed. Of course compounding everything is the fact that my boy is running around like there is nothing wrong. But he is still likely contagious.
So AITA for dragging us all back home?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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k5rLnGNNRVSv6QJ6eIAkAIGBiWP4dT5e
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aa2zar
|
{
"description": "planning on going out when my smil is coming to visit after years of my house being a no go zone",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA if I’m planning on going out when my SMIL is coming to visit after years of my house being a no go zone?
|
So long story short, I hate my SMIL. I find her rude, obnoxious, fake, controlling and she’s the type of person who will insult you with a smile and is a master of passive/agressive denigrating comments. About 5 years ago I snapped and sent her a text basically telling her to fuck off. Since then, my FIL has been coming to visit every few weeks by himself. He spends a whole day, has tea and leaves at 8-9pm. It’s quite nice because my husband and he spend the day working in the garage, watching sports and playing with my son, so I leave them to it so they have quality time together and I only join them for tea. This has been the unspoken arrangement for years. Now I’m being told that my FIL said to my husband that “we will come to visit tomorrow”. I told my husband I will not be there if she does turn up and now he’s annoyed with me because he just wants an easy life and doesn’t want to explain why I’m not there at our house for the entire day. I offered to call my FIL and explain myself but my DH said to leave it be. It fills me with anxiety just thinking about having to see her and I feel cornered where I will explode and tell her why I don’t like her and make things worse for my DH and my FIL, which I don’t want to do but will have to speak up if I’m here. I’ve always felt that my house is my safe zone and that I would never have to deal with this again!
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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|
a9vsto
|
{
"description": "breaking up with my girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for breaking up with my girlfriend
|
I (18M) have been with my GF (18F) for about a year now. At first things were great, it was my first relationship and I was excited to finally have all these moments and share experiences with a girl that I really liked. However, things started to change around the last month or so. Hanging out started to feel like a job and less like something that was fun. My GF and I hung out for around 4 hours almost every day, and I did enjoy the times that we were together. But, things would go down the drain once I went back to my house and the day was over. One of my favorite things to do was to get online and play games with some friends after hanging out, however, she would take it as though I am ignoring her and she would accuse me of "hating her", to which I'd reply that I don't and then all of a sudden a fight over text would break out. It blew me away since it was such a 180 from what she was feeling earlier that day. This would occur every other day for a couple of days until I told her that it was a problem. She understood and stopped doing it for that time being.
​
Then came last week Friday. Her and I had another date on Thursday, and she told me that we might not be able to hang out all day because she has something to do in the evening. I said that it's totally okay and that we can hangout Saturday. But, she said that we can still hangout on early morning on Friday. I said okay to that too and I went home. Well, Friday morning comes by and I wake up to no one home but my sister. This was around 9 so I assumed my parents were gone and so I had to watch my sister until someone came back. I played games for the time being, this went on until around 11. Then, once my parents came home, a part for my car came in and so I installed that right away because I needed to, this took around an hour. After that, my parents told me to go get an oil change and so I did, this took until around 1:30. Next, I came home and my mom wanted me to eat. At this point it was 2 o'clock, so I told my GF, who was starting to get irritated because I still didn't go over, that I am going to eat quickly so that Her and I can hang out for about 2 hours or so. She did not like that. She blew up on me, she started to tell me that I care more about my car then her and that since I wanted to play games, we won't hang out at all. I was taken aback and I started to worry. I told her that I had to watch my sister and that I enjoyed playing my games for that time-being. She did not care. She started to say that I didn't love her and that I like the people who I play games more than her, even though I play with these people once a week. She cussed and wouldn't listen to the fact that I told her I had to stay home and that I needed an oil change. She even accused me of liking other girls more than her, even though we ALL hung out ONCE and she was the one who was distant the whole day, while I was trying to bring her into the conversations and trying to have her not be so distant AND even though the girls that were mentioned were her friends for about 2 years prior, and I had only met them recently and I have never cheated or have lied to her.
​
After about 2 hours of arguing over this I grew angry. I thought to myself that this was insane because I had hung out with her every day of last week for hours on end, and to get yelled at over something like that was crazy. I couldn't handle this and so I told her that I felt like I needed a break from feeling like I'm controlled. She said that she was very sorry and that she feels bad for telling me all the things that she did. The next day I agreed to see her and to talk about things. She started to cry and ask me what was going to happen, and I told her that I didn't know, but that I was sure I wanted a break from all the stress. This made her cry even more but then I asked to go home. Before I was going to leave she muttered, "So you're gonna go play your games now aren't you" in a sarcastic tone. I looked at her and she started to cry and apologize and I left. I texted her saying that I wanted a break but she kept telling me that she still wants to talk about it and come to a compromise. I then told her again to please respect my choice and that I wanted my space. She then told me that she dropped off my Christmas presents in front of my door while I didn't know and still proceeded to text me and tell me that she wants to talk. I kept asking her to respect my choice but she still persisted and so I blocked her number because I want a clear mind. I wanted to handle this in the most mature way but she kept crying and telling me that she will change and that I cannot shut her out of my life. I couldn't handle that anymore. Am I an asshole for doing this?
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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at8jvc
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{
"description": "passing a group of women waiting in line",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 2
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|
AITA for passing a group of women waiting in line?
|
So I was in Paris at a theater showing of a famous french play and during the intermission everybody went out to smoke/eat/use the bathroom. As always, there was a huge line for the women's bathroom. As I walk in to the men's bathroom; I see three women waiting inside the MEN'S bathroom for stalls. When the first person finishes and exits the stall, I pass the three women and walk into it. They all look at me and two of them say (in French) "Excuse me?! We're clearly waiting". I answered to them that this is the men's bathroom and I, as a male, have priority and that if a man would have walked into the women's bathroom all hell would've broken loose. I got the dirtiest looks from all three women. AITA?
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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avvy0l
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{
"description": "not wanting to go to a funeral",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
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|
AITA for not wanting to go to a funeral
|
My uncle's mother passed away and the funeral is on Monday morning. The visitation is this Sunday so I figured I would go for a few hours and call it good. My relatives implied that it would be rude if I didn't also go to the funeral mass on Monday. The thing is: it's a Catholic mass and I have big problems with the Catholic church. Also, I don't have much PTO saved up and I really wouldn't want to take Monday off. As it happens I have a doctor's appointment at 3:15 this Monday so between that and the funeral/luncheon, I wouldn't really have time at the office so it would basically force me to use PTO so I still get paid for the day. Also I never knew my Uncle's mother. He married in to the family so I don't know anyone he's related to. If I don't go to the funeral mass, and only go to the visitation on Sunday, Does this make me the asshole?
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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9tmkbg
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{
"description": "wanting to ask why a big artist deleted their comment from my soundcloud page",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to ask why a big artist deleted their comment from my soundcloud page?
|
I'm not trying to shill for my page so I won't share it, but especially in these early times of trying to get a fanbase going, every comment helps no matter how short and sweet. The comment in question was by a much bigger name who just posted "vibes" on my song and i was so happy they checked it out. Then recently they deleted the comment. I sent them a message just saying thanks for the comment i really appreciate it especially from the big locals it means alot. They just replied with "word!" and that was it, didnt get the comment back. I want to message them again and just straight up ask if they deleted the comment or what, but I don't want to be so extra like that. Its making me so anxious that I'm afraid it was something with the song they decided they couldnt associate themselves with it anymore or something. AITA?
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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9y7651
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{
"description": "not switching seats with this mother on a plane",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For not switching seats with this mother on a plane?
|
Recently took a trip to Portugal and was about to embark on my first leg of a journey back to the west coast of the United States. My first flight was from Lisbon to Atlanta so keep in mind this was going to be a very long flight (\~8hrs).
​
I boarded the plane and took my seat which was in the third row of business class. I was by the window and the way the cabin is configured (1-2-1) there is no one sitting directly next to me. I selected this seat upon purchase with both the view I'd have with two windows and not having to sit next to anyone since I was flying alone.
​
A few minutes after I got settled into my seat a mother who is flying with her son who is around 10-12yrs old comes up to me and asks if I could switch with her so she could be seated in front of her son. I thought this was odd because they still wouldn't be able to talk to each other or even see each other during the flight the way the seats are set up. I was considering doing it so I then took the next obvious step asked her where she was sitting. She pointed to a seat in business class but it's the one seat that is still up against the fuselage of the plane but has no windows.
​
I told her I would like to remain in my seat and I would have switched if it weren't for the lack of windows at her seat since I feel more comfortable flying when I can look out the window.
​
Keep in mind these are not cheap seats and she booked her 10-12 year old son into a business class seat away from her instead of sitting in economy/premium economy where she could have easily sat next to him. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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au4ykm
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{
"description": "putting my baby sister in timeout, and refusing to listen to my father",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 12
}
|
AITA for putting my baby sister in timeout, and refusing to listen to my father?
|
For context, my baby sister is three years old. She has bad habits due to the rest of my family, same as me, which I have identified, and am trying to correct in myself, as well as her so it never happens to her.
Today, she continuously smeared my shirt with spit covered toys and wiped her nose on/licked me repeatedly. Standard three-year-old being a three-year-old stuff. I decided after warning her for the 3rd time that she would get time out, and I took her doll, after promising to give it back after she finished her timeout.
Of course she didn't want to do it, and kept looking for someone to cry to to get her out (My dad or sisters, she has been raised to know that if she cries loud enough, she gets whatever she wants, and I've been trying to correct this behavior). No one was home when we started, and they all showed up before she finished her timeout (10-15 minutes, initially 5 before she kept getting up and running around). Throughout the entire process I made sure not to yell at her or handle her roughly in any way. My sisters came home and brought food, insisting my punishment was stupid, and that she should eat. They relented and said that after she ate, she would go back for five minutes. I agreed, considering that I may have been over-reacting earlier. She kept going to them after she finished, and eventually I got her back into the chair.
My dad came home right after and went to his room, across the house. She started crying, and yelling his name, and he yelled from across the house, instead of wanting to comprehend the situation, because in his head she was an angel, could do no wrong, and could get whatever she wanted. He didn't even want to hear an explanation, and picked her up and told her she didn't have to do anything she didn't want. She asked for her doll back, and my father tried to force me to give it back to her. I told him if she finished her timeout she could have it, because she had to learn actions had consequences. He refused, and doubled down, saying he would make my life miserable if I didn't give it to him. My sister gave her a different doll, and the situation with him resolved itself in terms of nothing else happening, but the issue was still present. I told him he was teaching her that if she cried loud enough, she could get whatever she wanted. He said he didn't care, and that I didn't know anything about kids.
I will give her back the original doll after she's forgotten about this, in a day or two because I'm not a monster, and I won't punish her for something she had no real say in.
I didn't make this post looking for validation. The last thing my dad said to me threw me for a loop: "You don't have any idea how to raise kids, you f\*\*king idiot." I'm wondering if I'm the asshole to my sister. I accept your judgments.
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HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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a2oyk6
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{
"description": "not hanging out with my friend even though she drove two hours",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not hanging out with my friend even though she drove two hours
|
Background: I live about two hours from my friend. She used to come visit me pretty regularly and stay at my house before summer started and I started my summer job as a lifeguard. A couple times she visited me she got overly drunk and I ended up taking care of her. Which is fine, it happens to the best of us but it started to be constant. One time she came home and ate my parents leftovers from the fridge which she did not remember doing. Another time I had went to sleep at 2 am and she had stayed up (still drunk) until 7 am when my parents woke up and were convinced she had to be on drugs with how she was acting. She also left me at the bar one time for two hours to take home a boy. She paid for an uber to take him to my own house, while I was still at the bar waiting for her.
I had forgiven her for that and understood there was a miscommunication. She explained she thought I had left the bar first and was only trying to get home(long story but kinda made sense). So I wasn't potentially trying to avoid her. However I stared work and I was working 60 hours a week, ten hour shifts a day in the sun. On top of that I had an online class. She started to come down and visit to meet up with a boy she met while visiting me once. She would get a hotel room since she thought my parents were mad at her for previous visits. She would not tell me she was coming until she was about to leave or already here. Now I could have seen her after work even if just briefly. But I had always made plans before that, I have an active social life, or I'd be so drained from work I would just want to sleep, or I had school work I need to do before the end of the night. (I tend to procrastinate). This happened three times, each time I explained I needed more notice so I could plan to hang out or rearrange my schedule.
She said I could have hung out with her for at least 20 minutes because we do not live close to each other. I think the worst thing i did was I asked to facetime her and she said I could come visit cause she drove down. I said no I was going to nap instead. I think this was the last straw for my friend since I offered to facetime which meant I did have the time to hang out but didn't. I had the time but not the energy, I had just gotten home and didn't feel like going back out. Had I known she was in the area I certainly would have driven to her straight from work.
She has never worked a day in her life so I feel like she doesn't understand the strain. My job is very easy but I get very sleepy from it. She no longer wants to be my friend because she feels like I am selfish for not putting in the time to see her and I did not defend her to my parents when she would be overly drunk at my house. I should have made more of an effort to facetime her and text her, I do note that. So am I the asshole for not putting in more time for her? It was multiple times she visited and I said no to seeing her but I feel like her intentions weren't even to see me and I am confused to why we are no longer friends. She was one of my best friends for ten years.
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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azkgau
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{
"description": "getting mad about my Mom always expecting me to wait while she smokes",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for getting mad about my Mom always expecting me to wait while she smokes?
|
Ever since I’ve been little (I’m 22 now), I’ve always had to wait with my Mom outside of stores and restaurants so she could smoke. I’d always get so annoyed, especially in winter, but I never said anything because I never knew any different.
Yesterday me and my Mom were at the airport to catch a four hour flight to go visit my sister. She had just smoked a cigarette in the car and after we checked our bags and were about to get in line at TSA, she says she needs to smoke a cigarette.
So as she goes outside, I stand outside the TSA line with all of our luggage while I wait for her. I start to get pretty impatient because the line looked pretty long and was growing longer.
After 5 minutes she finally comes back in and I told her the line grew pretty long while she was outside and she didn’t say anything. It irritates me that she just doesn’t seem to care that I have to wait for her to smoke all the time.
As we were waiting in line, I asked why she doesn’t just get nicotine gum or something for when she’s in public. She responds by saying she can just go outside anywhere and smoke so there’s no point. I told her in an irritated tone that it would keep everyone else from always having to wait on her to smoke.
She got defensive and said she just won’t smoke anymore, which we both know won’t happen. After awhile I felt bad and apologized for being disrespectful about it but I’m not sure I was wrong for saying something in general.
AITA for thinking I shouldn’t have to wait on my Mom to smoke a cigarette?
Tl;dr My Mom has to stop and smoke wherever she goes. I said something about it and implied I shouldn’t have to wait for her to smoke, she got defensive. AITA?
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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QZkRUsvYAm8GMuTOdrRIfEV0BIr8GmMK
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a9td73
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{
"description": "having sex with my then girlfriend the same day I broke up with her",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for having sex with my then girlfriend the same day I broke up with her?
|
Based on the title I would clearly be an asshole but there is a lot more to this situation, so bare with me.
I had been with this girl around 11 months when this happened but we had been falling apart for several months prior. She was a very sweet girl, but she really bottled her emotions and she knew I could tell.
For the entirety of our relationship I could sense when she was feeling down, so I would periodically ask her how she was feeling. I would almost always receive a vague answer, which deterred me from trying to pry her feelings out of her.
Moreover, I always felt like she was too afraid to say her input. I would have to constantly make decisions about pretty much anything because the only response I would get would be “idk or idc.” This frustrated me a lot because I just wanted to see her input on things and a bit of reciprocation.
Now around 9 months into our relationship things were still extremely stagnant, other than our sex lives. Being 17 our drives were very high but the sex was also great and unlike anything I’d experienced before. But regardless of sex, I was still disappointed by our lack of change. It was around this time where I was convinced I had to end things.
Here’s the catch: we both have the SAT coming up in a month, and she was obviously very stressed about the exam. I decided that I would just have to tough it out until we finished the exam because I didn’t want to distract her with a break up. But in this time she would shut herself away from me even more.
After the exam we treat each other to a concert. At the concert I could tell that she was down I I just couldn’t figure it out. I confronted her and told her that I wanted to talk about her feelings just not at the concert.
A week later I go to her house to study for a test. Every time we hung out we had sex, so it was only natural for us to do that. But further on that day I finally brought it up, where she confessed that she was barely eating to the point of being unhealthy. I felt devastated by this because I she was in pain, but I had tried so hard to help her. It suddenly hit me like a bus that it was really only the sex that held our relationship together. I didn’t want friends with benefits, I wanted someone I could be emotional with so we could connect better. After more than 11 months of a relationship, it was too dissatisfying to just have good sex. I then told her that we needed time apart because we needed to grow as people.
As a final point, I had not planned on breaking up with her that day because I didn’t want her stressed for this exam, but I just couldn’t do it anymore.
I appreciate anyone’s input and I’ll gladly answer questions.
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HISTORICAL
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9xqxmn
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{
"description": "wanting to help my friend",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting to help my friend?
|
I learned today that my best friend of 4 years has been an active drinker for who knows how long. His girlfriend told me about it today, and I was absolutely shocked. He is not the kind of guy to do that kind of stuff, considering his personal beliefs. (We are both 17 btw). He’s supposedly gotten wasted on multiple occasions as well.
His girlfriend, another friend, and I are all wanting to get him to stop because it’s a bad habit, and that + his really bad driving history can potentially harm someone.
Anyways I posted this question on another subreddit asking for help getting him to quit his habit, and within 5 minutes I’m already being shat on. I got called nosy, which I understand, but this is a topic I consider serious.
AITA for this?
|
HISTORICAL
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alfi46
|
{
"description": "telling my wife to get over her fear of talking on the phone",
"pronormative_score": 53,
"contranormative_score": 9
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|
Aita for telling my wife to get over her fear of talking on the phone?
|
My wife and I have been married since July but have been together since high school. She brought up the idea of buying a house, telling me that she was talking to her best friend about it and this friend referred a realtor to us.
I have my own concerns with buying a house, especially at our age (26) and with me not making quite as much money as I'd like. I brought up different variables to consider before we even talked to a realtor but she said they came off and me not wanting to do this. I'm all for looking into what it would take to get our credit in check and talking with a realtor about the next move we should make, but I LOATHE talking on the phone.
Every time we have to make important company phone calls, I'm left to call. Whether it's her name on the account or mine, I'm always the one calling. I too once had an irrational fear of calling anyone, but I quickly had to get over that because my wife hates talking on the phone just as much if not more.
She pushed and pushed and pushed to get the idea of buying a house set deeply in our goals for 2019 and then hit me with "well you're gonna have to call and set up the appointment because I can't". I asked her why she can't and she told me she just doesn't like talking on the phone. I told her "I'm sorry but I don't like talking on the phone either, I'll support this decision and I'm all for it, but you have to call".
She didn't take that very well. Already frustrated at her response, I told her, again, that I think she should call, it'll help her get over her fear. She asked me why? I call all the time and she "physically can't".
At this point I was beyond frustrated and I could feel my temper rising and I flat out told her "I just want you to... (Trying to find an easier way to tell her, to no avail) ...get over it".
I was a little taken aback by how the words came out of my mouth, I'm sure I could've been a little more tactful, but I'm tired of dancing around and navigating through the many words swirling in my brain to come up with an easier/nicer way of telling her.
Cue the name calling. I'm an ass hole for trying to get her to call the realtor (or as I see it, following through on a plan she worked to hard to convince me to support) and I'm an even bigger ass hole for pushing the issue.
I just want to help her get over her fear of calling people. She talks on the phone when she HAS to such as work or a random number calling her, but when telling her she HAS to because I don't want to is completely different I guess? I just don't wanna be a doormat and feel like she should be the one calling since she brought it up and debated on why we should buy a house instead of renting another year. Calling people on the phone sucks and I can't stand it. But my fears and phobias get pushed aside and if I say yes, I'll feel like a doormat.
So Reddit, am I the ass hole for telling her to get over it?
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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a4s0lq
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{
"description": "telling my wife I don't want a dog",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For telling my wife I don't want a dog?
|
My wife and I have been married for 2 years now. I have about a year left before I am ready to graduate from college, while she is still in her first year (for context, I'm 24, and she is 23).
​
Because we are students and live on incredibly limited income, I told her I didn't feel comfortable to start having kids right away. She was upset, but she understood. But now she seems dead set on getting a dog. She claims it would help with her depression, and give her something to nurture. I tell her if she gets assigned an ESA, that is totally fine, but I don't want to take care of a dog right now that isn't assigned or prescribed to her.
​
Because of medical reasons, my graduation was pushed back a year, which means that we are planning to have kids a year later than we originally planned. At first I didn't think this would be a big deal because I already compromised to start trying for kids in my last semester.
​
I've had dogs in the past, and I've seen how much care and money they can require. I had a dog growing up that got sick. It got better, but it required a ton of care, and cost my family a couple thousand just in vet bills. I don't want a dog because if that same thing happens, neither of us have the time or the money and would have to end up putting it down.
​
On top of this, we live in a very small apartment. It is basically three rooms, one of which is our bedroom. I am also gone most of the day, usually spending 12+ hours on campus every week day. My wife works and is normally gone for 8+ hours a day.
​
My wifes response is that if that happens, I should just get a job (I work sales jobs during the summer. I don't make a ton of money, but it is enough so that I don't have to work during school) and to not spend so much time studying. I feel like that is a really selfish thing to say, considering my tuition is covered by a scholarship that covers 85% of the tuition (dependent on grades) and my parents covering the rest (which is dependent on me keeping the other scholarship). I feel like I don't want to devote time away from my schooling this next year just so we could have a dog. I've tried to compromise with her and say 'lets get a dog in a year when I don't have to worry about school, or better yet, lets just have kids at that point' but she insists on getting a dog this year.
​
So today my wife told me that until I said yes to a dog, she is sleeping in another room, not talking to me, and not having sex with me. I feel like this is an over reaction to asking her to wait a year to get a dog.
​
Sooooo....AITA for telling my wife I don't want a dog yet?
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HISTORICAL
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"description": "expecting my ex boyfriend to pay his share of the rent (I'll pay 100% of utilities) until HE finds a suitable sublet or lease is up",
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|
AITA for expecting my ex boyfriend to pay his share of the rent (I’ll pay 100% of utilities) until HE finds a suitable sublet or lease is up?
|
Background: in rapid succession boyfriend asked for open relationship, didn’t like my answer, cheated with coworker, expected me to forgive him and broke up with me and moved out.
We co-signed a lease about 7 months ago and have 5 months left. I have given him that I will pay 100% of utilities since he’s not using them anymore. I am not at all willing to give him grace on the rent. He says it’s my job to find a replacement. I say it’s his or he pay me. He tried to say I should live with his brother but his brother has a sexual assault with minor conviction and a. I’m not comfortable with that and b. We live on tHe other side of a high school so it’s not even legal.
Ex threw up his hands and said I was just being difficult and called me an asshole. Am I the asshole here?
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "wanting to use protection while having sex with my gf",
"pronormative_score": 7,
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|
AITA for wanting to use protection while having sex with my GF
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First: TL:DR at the bottom
Second: Sorry for my bad english.
Third: Sorry format. Posting from my cellphone
So is valentines day, we haven't seen each other for 2 weeks (because Work) and i just want to see her, hug her, etc... we went out to eat something and then went to her place get some sexy time.
She used to be on the pill but that cause her to bleed between periods so she changed that for a Copper IUD that later, gave her a lot of pain, and she end it up taking that away too. I gave her full support on that because IS HER BODY, and i didnt want to see her suffer in a matter that involve us both.
So we decided that we were going back to used the old Condom method, it turns out she doesn't like the feeling of rubber down there anymore, she told me it doesn't feel the same, i said to here that i didn't like it either for the same reasons, and that having a contraceptive method was the only way we were having sex (we both agreed on that one, cause we are not ready for a child right now).
while we are at it, she told me to take the condom off, i remind her what we have talked before, she keeps insisting to take the condom off because she is not ovulating, witch turns my boner down , she try to turn me on again but while at it, she take the condom off and asked me again not to use it, at that point i just stopped, Told her i wasn't in the mood anymore.
Nobody spoke for a while. At some point she kinda wanted me to hug/spoon her, which i didn't, cause i was irritated/mad, she also got mad and dressed up. I dressed up too, told her it was late and left her place.
This happen just like 2 hours ago and i just needed to say it to somebody, or else i wouldn't be able to sleep
Am I the Asshole here?
TL:DR : Girlfriend got Mad cause i didn't want to take my condom off while we were having sex (When we both agreed on having a contraceptive while at it)
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "not paying a post-tailgate invoice",
"pronormative_score": 16,
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|
AITA for not paying a post-tailgate invoice?
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I went to a football (American) game over the weekend and my friend invited me to his tailgate beforehand. I informed him that I was planning on going to a different tailgate hosted by another friend and he said to just come to the game a little earlier and stop by his. I said ok I will stop by for an hour or so no big deal.
I get to this friend’s tailgate about 4 hours before game time and stay for about an hour. They had bought a keg and were grilling hot dogs. Now since I was planning on eating at the other tailgate I didn’t bring any food, but I did bring my own alcohol. He offered to grab me a beer so I accepted and asked if I wanted a hot dog so I said sure. I had one 12 oz beer and a single hot dog. My SO was also with me and she had one beer as well. So in total we had two beers from the keg, and a single hot dog. I thank my friend and head out to the other tailgate.
A day after the game I get a paypal request from this friend asking for $10 each for my SO and I - $20 total. He says this is for the costs of the tailgate. Now usually I am fine with arrangements like this if I am told in advance. However, since I was unaware of the arrangement and wouldn’t even have accepted his invite if I knew I was going to be billed for it, I don’t think I should have to pay this. Additionally, my actual consumption of things at the event would not have amounted to more than a few dollars in actual cost. I feel like he is just billing me to subsidize his fun.
AITA for rejecting his request for payment?
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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apwhyl
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{
"description": "not staying at my boyfriends house",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
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|
AITA For not staying at my boyfriends house
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Background:
Me and my boyfriend G have been together for 3 months bit we've been friends for a couple years.
So, I get severe migraines. Like really bad. And I have for around and a half years. My migraines cause me to be basically useless; can't go out, can use a computer etc.
I was meant to stay at his house tonight but I've had to cancel due to a migraine.
Him and his friend have said I'm being 'childish' and should just 'get over it'.
I don't know what to do, I already feel crappy because of my head and he's making me feel like it's my fault.
So, AITA?
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "taking my bully's phone",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
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WIBTA if I took my bully's phone.
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Sorry for crap formatting. Im on mobile and this is my first post.
Anyways I'll keep it short. This kid bullies about 20 people including me. Would I be the asshole if I took his phone? He doesn't need it, but other kids have taken it and he nearly cried. He has made so many suffer so I feel it would be justice for him to feel a fraction of the pain. But my friend says it is an asshole move.
So would I be the asshole?
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HYPOTHETICAL
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "feeling superior over people who are more unfit than me at the gym",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 14
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|
AITA for feeling superior over people who are more unfit than me at the gym?
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I had this arguement with my friend. She thinks I will go to hell for feeling this way because people are there to get in shape and they are putting in effort etc. Etc...
But theres this side of me that says I put in more work before them and I should feel good about myself being more lean and being able to lift heavier weights, because that also came with effort. Of course I don't laugh at their face or discourage people from going to the gym, but I feel superior, as pretentious as it sounds.
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HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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ayhomv
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{
"description": "not wanting to date someone with anger issues",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
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|
AITA for not wanting to date someone with anger issues
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Two years ago I got out of an emotion al abusive relationship with someone. I have now been dating a new guy for a while now, probably about a month. Hes very sweet to me and treats me really well but I have noticed that he gets inordinately angry over things. For an example, earlier today he messaged me telling me he wanted to "slap this little bitch" that was sitting across from him. When I asked why his response was "because hes has a problem and is making it my problem". Again I asked how and he said something along the lines of the other guy acting like tough shit because he was sitting beside his girlfriend.
I tried to change the subject because I was uncomfortable and he proclaimed "I think I still have anger issues" which I agreed with. I then tell him that anger issues like that tend to give me really bad anxiety because two years ago I got out of an emotionally and mentally abusive relationship with someone who had really bad anger issues. So I automatically start tensing ho around people when they get angry. When I brought it up with him he said he wouldnt be reactive around me and "I'll keep my opinion to myself too around you". And said he would never take his anger out on me.
Tldr
Am I the asshole for now being worried about continuing to date someone with anger issues after getting out of an abusive relationship ? Not because I think he will be abusive like my ex but just because I know his anger will cause me anxiety?
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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a1757c
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{
"description": "ignoring my father after he lied to me",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
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|
AITA for ignoring my father after he lied to me
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About a year and a half ago, my old car got totaled while it was parked in front of the house. A neighbor had a handyman type person over with a truck and he must've hit the gas instead of the brakes and demolished my car by backing into it. After being told I shouldn't have parked there and how this is somehow my fault for putting it there (I wasn't allowed to park in the driveway).
Anyway, we begin talking about a replacement car. He said he would buy it, which was really cool of him. He said I could use the insurance money from this car plus a bit extra that he would give me to replace it. I picked out my choice and he didn't like it. The only alternative he gave me is that I should go to Canada and bring a car back because the currency conversion is in our favor. I did not like this idea at all, so I kept bugging him to get the car I found in our own country.
I have to be fair, I was getting upset and being a bit pushy, since I thought his idea was trash and he didn't suggest anything else. Eventually he said fine, put the car on a credit card and when the 0% interest rate on it is over, he will take over.
Fast forward a year later and he flat out lied. I have all the debt on a credit card and I'm livid that he would do that to me. If he told me he wouldn't help, I would have gotten a cheaper car. When I ask him about it, he never apologizes, and says I was too pushy about getting the car and that's why it ended up like this. He said he didn't have the money now either. Well fine, I guess it is what it is.
Fast forward a month and he buys a 70k truck. I was absolutely livid. I didn't blow up at him or anything but he was so confused when I didn't want to be involved with picking it out. He thought I was jealous of him and thought I couldn't be happy for him as a result. I just felt so neglected. Ever since then I ignore him. He asks me to find accessories for the truck to spend close to the value of my car on it, and I just glare at him. I go days without talking to him now. I feel bad though because I live with him and he feeds me ( not enough though, maybe every other day if I average it out). But that's the limit of our interaction. I'm just living there. When I need help, he curses me for contacting my mother and tells me to live with her ( i would but there is too much here that I would lose aka girlfriend and I just got a job). I can't depend on him for anything. Am I an asshole for being so resentful?
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "telling my ex-best friend''s \"baby daddy\" he's not the father",
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WIBTA If I tell my ex-best friend''s "baby daddy" he's not the father?
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Basically I'm facing a bit of an ethical dilemma and I'm pretty deep into this emotionally so who better to ask than the internet? At the core, my question is WIBTA if I were to tell the "baby daddy" of my ex-best friend that he is most likely not the father, and at the very least he needs to get a DNA test done to confirm it before he throws his life down the drain? Seems like an easier question, but tbh my main motivating force behind this is revenge against my best friend, so that seems....conflicting.
My best friend is in her early 20's. I'm in my 30's, and male. A bit unorthodox, but we've had a strangely open and honest, close connection since we met, the age thing never bothered either of us, so we've just gone with it. It works for us. But we are in different places of our lives obviously. She's trying to be young and free and I'm looking more to settle down. I also have things figured out a lot more and she's trying to find herself and be young and free. So she is always needing support. Sometimes financially, and I've helped her with bills before, but mostly just always being there for her, being supportive, encouraging, and helping her see herself the way I see her when she's depressed. She is not able to do a lot of these things for me; she's been surrounded by garbage people her whole life that treat her like trash so I don't think she's ever really learned how to be a good friend. But I don't need the support usually the way she does, and we've talked about it honestly with each other, and she tries, and works to be better, so it didn't seem like a big deal usually.
Glossing over a lot of drama (cuz she always has drama), I catch feelings and fall for her. We've always been flirty since the beginning, and we've gone back and forth on the dating thing, but thru it all we've been able to talk openly and honestly with each other so we've remained best friends. She doesn't feel the same way, but has off and on had romantic feelings for me according to her and has gone back and forth on it.
We end up having a fight (reason not too important, basically she told me she wanted to try a relationship then a week later told me she only said that to make sure I stayed her friend and so I wouldn't leave to go back on the road for work), and she ghosts me for a couple weeks. She supposedly gets pregnant during this time with "baby daddy". The night of our fight tho, she had taken a pregnancy test cuz she was worried she was pregnant with a guy she had broken up with right before I got back and she wanted us to try. She had sex with him up to a couple days before the test was taken.
I was suspicious from the beginning that it was really baby daddy's kid. She and I started talking again when she found out she was pregnant and then baby daddy ghosted her a week or two later cuz she wouldn't have an abortion. He was in college, came from a good family, and his parents saw her as white trash that was wrecking their sons life. I was a bit more distant when we started talking again cuz I felt like I could no longer trust her, but I felt bad for her situation and still cared a lot about her so I tried to help how I could.
So we're getting back into things over the next couple months, getting very close again, and start looking for an apartment together. I still have the feelings, she's still back and forth, but I just want my best friend to have a safe, good home while she's pregnant since she's basically couch surfing at this point after getting evicted.
So everything is good, I'm being crazy supportive again, we're having good times, I'm going to her doctors appointments with her, we're planning a home, baby daddy is nowhere to be found. Then as she's texting me pics of the place we are getting while I'm at work, she blows up about a flirty joke I send her. Says she doesn't want to be in a relationship with me, never will, and the apt is off the table. She said she only told me there was a chance between us to make me happy. It had taken a lot for her to regain my trust and I felt like our lives were moving in a good direction, she and I had talked a lot about how even if we weren't in a relationship she wanted me to be there as a male role model and doing all the pregnancy stuff with her had made me start getting really attached to the idea of having that kid around. And she knows I want kids. It doesnt help that im in love with her and we were planning a home. It was incredibly vulnerable territory for me emotionally, but i was trying to do the best i could so she was taken care of. All that was gone in the space of 20 minutes, for what I felt like was no reason.
I asked her the next day what the hell happened. Her response is that baby daddy had shown back up, told her he loved her and wanted to be a family. I told her she was being an idiot. We tried to work things out for a day or two, but I was feeling incredibly hurt, incredibly betrayed (I already had massive trust issues she knew about), and she was dead set on never anything romantic and she couldn't see past my feelings for her. So she blocked me on everything and ghosted me.
The other day I noticed the time stamp on a picture I had of her, worked some math in my head, and realized her supposed conception date was literally the day after she had taken her pregnancy test. I am almost 100% certain at this point it is not baby daddy's kid. I am feeling hurt beyond belief, I feel like I lost my best friend for not a very good reason at all, and I feel like she was just using me this whole time for financial and emotional support. She won't talk to me, won't talk about what happened with our mutual friends, and offers no explanation. So I'm feeling super used and betrayed. I know if this guy finds out its not his kid that he'll happily bail. He never wanted the kid in the first place and she and him had been done before she discovered she was pregnant. Telling him will blow up her world and cause her immeasurable grief. I want revenge, as petty as that sounds, for being such an incredible friend to her and always being there for her no matter what hurt it caused me, and then her dropping the friendship like it meant nothing. That would make me an asshole, but the ethical dilemma is should the "baby daddy" be told the truth so he knows? I would think if I was not involved that he should be told for his own happiness, but I have to admit my driving force is revenge.
So yea, WIBTA for telling the "baby daddy" of my ex-best friend that it's not his kid?
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HYPOTHETICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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aa0jg7
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{
"description": "not wanting my grandpa at my wedding",
"pronormative_score": 38,
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|
AITA for not wanting my grandpa at my wedding?
|
He has Alzheimer’s and regularly smells like pee. He has no idea who I am or who my fiancé is, but my mom and grandma insist he needs to come. He hits on younger women (such as my bridesmaids) and he gets easily confused. I don’t think it would be good for him and I really don’t want to babysit him on my wedding day. Even if he did come, he wouldn’t remember it the next day. Am I an asshole?
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "forgetting my papers to get my Learner Permit",
"pronormative_score": 3,
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|
AITA For forgetting my papers to get my Learner Permit?
|
So I am 15 years old and a twin brother. The DMV opens at 8 AM and we plan to get there around that time on a Thursday. The night before we leave my brother says I should put my papers in my bookbag so I don't forget. I reply with an "ok" but forget to put them in there. Fast forward to the morning, I tell myself to remember to grab my papers, but it's kinda shoved in the back of my head. We leave and it's not until we arrive that I realized I forgot my papers. I ask my brother in the front passenger seat if maybe he had grabbed them, he says no. My mom hears this and says we're not going back because I need to learn the consequences of doing things like this in life. My mom is the type of person who will teach me life lessons when they come around in a real situation every chance she gets. But in my opinion my learner permit is a huge exception and she should let me off the hook. Even after we left there wasn't much of a line, so there still could have been time to run back and get the paperwork. She says that she might be able to take me back tomorrow, but there's no guarantee.
I realize that this is my fault, but there was still an open window to run back and grab the paperwork and maybe my mother shouldn't be so hooked on teaching me a life lesson in this circumstance. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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{
"description": "telling these kids to cut it out",
"pronormative_score": 5,
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|
WIBTA if I told these kids to cut it out?
|
WIBTA?
The children who live in my apartment building, probably aged 7-12, play football on the floor of my flat and the ball continually hits my door and makes very loud bangs that reverberate through my apartment. I want to ask them to stop as it's very annoying and disruptive to have these noises at all hours of the day (and I mean all hours -- they've played until midnight before).
I don't want to ruin their fun and be the grouchy lady who lives next door, but I also can't stand the constant noise. Would I be the asshole if I told their parents or asked them to stop?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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RIGHT
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ap7s7o
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{
"description": "sleeping with my best friends' close friend",
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|
AITA for sleeping with my best friends’ close friend?
|
Let’s call my best friend Sarah and her close friend Jess. (I am a male, they are both female)
Let me also preface this by stating that I am also now a good friend with Jess, but I did meet her originally through Sarah.
Sarah has stated in the past that she feels uncomfortable with her friends sleeping together.
Last night we all attended a night out, and without much evident build up in the friendship group me and Jess ended up making out for a large majority of the night, before going home and sealing the deal.
I felt guilty towards Sarah, and told her straight away, to which she demonstrated disapproval, and now I feel even worse, with the intention of not seeing Jess anymore.
My flat mates on the other hand have told me that this guilt is illogical and I should not worry as it does not concern Sarah.
It may be worth mentioning here that Sarah is a lesbian and has had a crush on Jess in the past.
Is the guilt justified? Am I unnecessarily worrying or should I have listened to my friend and respected her feelings?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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9vef9l
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{
"description": "confronting the guy who cheated on my sister",
"pronormative_score": 5,
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|
AITA (14M) for confronting the guy(17M) who cheated on my sister (17F)
|
Okay let me start by saying this person and i were really close. he was like a older brother to me and was always welcome to any family events he was family. him and my sister were best friends since the 5th grade and started dating in 10th grade and they are now in 12th grade. this asshole cheated in like the worst way ever he cheated at a halloween party with some girl he barely knew. My sister wasn't at the party cuase she was at the party i was at as she wanted to be at my frist highschool party and he wanted to go to his cousin's party. Now fast forward today he comes back to school while my sister is home completely heartbroken. I got up to him and said "what the actually fuck who even are you anymore what happen to the guy who would come over our house almost everyday for about a year what the fuck happen to the guy who was like my older brother what the fuck happen to the guy my sister cried on when my dad died in a car accident." He said "Cody just get away from me i don't need anymore shit from you especially" then i said " what your upset that your friends don't talk to you anymore that you traded you first girlfriend of 2 years for a quick fuck at a Halloween party" he said "just leave me alone how many times do i got to tell everyone I'm sorry i was drunk if i could I would take it back". When he said that I just stoped following him and let him go I'm having a weird mix of emotions like i fell bad for him but I also hate him. AITA
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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a3ot7d
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{
"description": "not helping my family cleaning up my grandparents basement",
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|
WIBTA for not helping my family cleaning up my grandparents basement?
|
So, to make thing short my mother recently made some comments about how when i get home the next time we could ,as a family ( my mother, my stepfather, my sister, her husband and my uncle and me), clean up the complete basement of my grandparents. She said it would !only! take a week to do. ( large house 30 years of woodworking and hoarding of \*soon\* reconstructed furniture my grandfather is hoarding and buying to resell) Im probably only there for 2 weeks.
now for the problem: Im currently working in a different country only coming home every 4-5 months at best. the reason why i can visit my home so frequently is because my employer pays for the trip back. The reason why he pays for it is because i dont work mon-fri. i work every day of the week. So my "vacation" is in reality my weekends i worked for.
I would like to use that time to meet up with friends and relaxing.
would that make me the asshole?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
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