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fkEhBiu4WVZpwfgUxCa3iH4EdxOjnVKp
|
ab0e6c
|
{
"description": "not wanting grandma to see the kids",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting grandma to see the kids`
|
Throwaway account
​
I (23m) and my husband (also 23m) have been together for 10 years. We are both Italian. I come from a strict Catholic family, so being gay did not go down well. I came out to my parents age 14 after almost a year with my boyfriend. My parents immediately kicked me out and I moved in with my boyfriend and his parents. His parents went on to literally raise me through my teenage years. My parents made no attempt to contact me, and tried to get my three siblings to stop talking to me also (although they didn't listen, thankfully). My parents and I never had an extremely close relationship anyway, so after dealing with the initial rejection I moved on with my life.
​
Fast forward six years. I was 19, been with my husband for six years, and he asked me to marry him. I said yes, and the news got back to my parents through my sister. My other sister let slip in conversation that my parents knew, and she was initially reluctant to tell me what they had said. After some prying, she told me the gist of it and of course, it was extremely homophobic and toxic - I thought maybe they would've changed or missed me, but I guess not. Again, I'm hurt but I move on. We get married two years later and I don't hear anything about my parents apart from a couple of comments about how it's a shame they weren't there.
​
Now, my partner and I have a four month old baby daughter through surrogacy. She is the light of our lives and we've been having a wonderful, not too difficult time. However, the news gets back to my parents, again. I think my sister thought this would be a time to build bridges. My parents suddenly get a change of heart. My sister gives my mother my email address, and she sends me a long, somewhat cheesy email about wanting to see her granddaughter. She says she will fly over from Italy to England where we live now, and she wants a relationship with our daughter. In this email, she only calls my husband my "friend" and seems overall disinterested in getting to know him or about our relationship. This really upsets me, obviously, and it seems like her coming over to see our daughter despite still disapproving of my relationship would be horrifically awkward and uncomfortable. I really don't know what to do. I want to tell her where to go, but at the same time I feel I might be being unfair. AITA?
​
TLDR: Mother kicked me out ten years ago for being gay and has been consistently nasty about me ever since. Now I have a daughter and she suddenly wants to be in her life.
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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au69lk
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{
"description": "telling a ex boyfriend why we broke up",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
aita for telling a ex boyfriend why we broke up.
|
so during high school me and this guy dated for a month, he was lovely but he was not what I saw my future looking like, I then realised that I was lesbian. I had always assumed I was bisexual but dating him confirmed it.
so I broke up with him and we moved on, we both went to different universities and never spoke again, this was until a few days ago we spotted each other and got to chatting about high school and all that shit.
he then asked me why I broke up with him, I double checked that he wanted to know why and he said yes.
I then said its because I realised I was lesbian, he got mad and left.
I now feel shitty for telling him.
aita?
if I am the asshole is there a way I could apologize?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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as21kk
| null |
Aita for this?
|
So this started a few weeks ago at my high school where i broke up with my gf because of multiple reasons, we didnt have any classes together because of a new semester and her parents hate the fact of her daughter hanging out with boys because she had a super controlling family. We have known eachother for 4 years but only together last year, another reason i broke up with her is because she always took my stuff like hats, school supplies, etc. so when i broke up with her was sad and one of those people who get supper emotionally unstable. All of her friends and some of my friends keep telling me how horrible i am because i knew she couldn't handle the break up i dont ever really have to talk to her again because by the end of the year we will both be moving to different places with her going to a new state aita
|
HISTORICAL
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}
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NOBODY
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{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
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|
aret2y
|
{
"description": "being annoying to make my friends closer",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for being annoying to make my friends closer?
|
Sorry for the weird format I am on mobile.
Let me just make myself clear, I’m not trying to say that what I did was completely justified, I am 15(nearly 16) and I feel awful for what I’ve done.
I’ve noticed that every time I have a group of friends they seem to drift apart and so I’ve used a sort of strategy to try and keep them together.
What I would do was make myself a major annoyance but try not to make myself get to the point where I would be not a friend, and I would always back off when I felt I was too much and attempt to make it up with gifts,food,etc. The first time I did this it worked from 4th to 7th grade. I’d either be annoying or shut stand at the sidelines and they would always make fun of me. It had gotten to the point where the insults had gotten real personal, but I didn’t say anything, I had just fired back with harsher words and actions. This went back and forth until 7th grade where I had made one of my friends cry, I cried too because I didn’t mean for things to get that far but I had said my crying was for other reasons. After this event I apologized and only poked around the group occasionally but not be annoying and try to atone for what I had done. We all went to different high schools including the new friends I made in the 8th grade that I really liked. (They were great and I didn’t even try to be annoying.) Some of the group said that they had forgiven me but I had always felt that was never true, and I still torture my mind with the words they had said.
In the 9th grade I had no friends and barely any people from my previous schools, but I eventually found a group that was very kind and I really cared for all of them. Two people in this group started dating and eventually went through a rough patch which split into three groups one trying to comfort the guy, one trying to comfort the gal, and one who was trying to avoid the bullshit. I had tried the strategy again but this time I knew I wouldn’t be apart of the group. I had annoyed them in the usual way by being cocky and acting like I wasn’t, but tried to make them laugh or at least be happy by showing them memes and funny videos I learned would appeal to them. It worked from what I know, but eventually I was just pushed to the sidelines and everyone just had their own conversations. After that I isolated myself, but always tried to think of how happy they are without me. I’m in 10th grade and still y’all to some of them individually, but I don’t consider them true friends and I’m pretty sure they feel the same. I know I’m a bad person and I am very sorry if I hurt you.
I’ll be happy answering any questions about this and I just posted this to see how people would react if they knew what I had done.
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
4YD9llCJd3XskZ1oPCKmzQ2xuy68LoFa
|
b45h0p
|
{
"description": "taking the last loaf of bread",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for taking the last loaf of bread?
|
Last week I was at the grocery store and I picked up a loaf of the bread that I normally get. I normally leave a product if theres only 2 or 3 of them left on the shelf incase someone else wants/needs them and would just pick a different kind of bread in that situation. This time when I picked up the bread there were about 5 loaves left so I thought I would just take one and didn't worry about it too much. I spent the next thirty minutes doing the rest of my shopping and then went to pay. As I was waiting in line I saw a guy with his son (about 12 y/o) go up to an employee and ask if they had any more of the bread which I got, he said if there was none on the shelves then they didn't. I didn't say anything about me having one since I just finished work and wanted to get home and there were a few people in the queue behind me so leaving the queue to say something would've added a few minutes to my wait. I'm sure there were plenty other kinds of bread, just none of the specific one that I had. I felt really bad about not saying anything and think I probably was the asshole since he had a son and was polite to the employee.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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NOBODY
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{
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RIGHT
|
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|
b5e41y
|
{
"description": "calling a university and reporting one of their admitted student's misconduct and bad behavior and possibly ruining the chances of them attending",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 12
}
|
WIBTA if I called a university and reported one of their admitted student’s misconduct and bad behavior and possibly ruin the chances of them attending
|
I am a senior in high school and as more college acceptances roll in, I’ve been hearing back from some great schools. One of the schools I’ve gotten into is a prestigious and highly ranked institution in NY and a select few others from my high school have also gotten in. However I know someone who got in and is the most disrespectful, entitled, and vindictive individual I have ever met. I’ve known him since we were very young so I know he has always been this type of person. I’ve also been in the same classes as him since middle school because we are one of the few at our school that is in the IB program. While he has been relatively nice and respectful to me (since he thinks I’m smart from IB), he has done a lot of things to others that I feel are unredeemable.
1. He takes pride in drunk driving without a license and then continues to post a video of it on social media.
2. Talks back to teachers constantly and has no respect for any authority
3. To add on to number two, he constantly smokes in class and disrespects his parents by stealing their car & cursing them out
4. He is constantly intentionally mean and finds joy out of picking at other people’s flaws.
5. Has a very high sense of entitlement and narcissistic tendencies. He gossips about others constantly and puts people down.
6. Posted other people’s private photos and details onto social media constantly.
7. Harassed someone for a year and pressured them to be with him even though he didn’t have the same sexuality as him
8. Cheats on everything and everyone
9. Outted his former SO for their sexuality on social media. This eventually led his former SO to lose multiple scholarships from other colleges.
10. Lied to a mid 20 year old about his age and had sex with him when he was underage and thought it was funny enough to post this guy’s identity on social media and the entire scheme
Note that he takes pride in all of these things and does not see these as wrong. These all happened within the past two years (most within a year).
Less recently, (around 4 years ago) he lied about being abused by his parents to manipulate his former gf into staying with him.
I don’t know what to do. I am super on the fence about doing this. I feel like it’s not my place. But I know this institution really values morals and also because he’s bragging to everyone that he got in and putting those who didn’t down. It’s feeding into his sense of entitlement once again and he’s using this to make others feel bad. To clarify, I’m not coming from a place of jealousy either. I also got into this institution and better schools than him so I’m not jealous. I just feel like this is something the school should know since he seriously has no morals or empathy for others unless it makes him look good. So WITBA if I did this?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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{
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|
WRONG
|
fBfF9pmlui6C6hoeYt6ELEpl7Rp91HeC
|
atacdp
|
{
"description": "cursing at work",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for cursing at work (while being female)?
|
I work in construction management and I am the only female in our jobsite office. I use coarse language but only when I'm frustrated or stressed. My voice is small and my general demeanor is kind of dainty so it often comes as a shock to some people. Well there's a new guy in the office and he absolutely hates it. Says it's not lady like (mind you, he's never complained about the guys who curse up a storm). I used to ignore him but his constant crusades about morality are ruining my otherwise very fun work environment so as an act of pure pettiness, I curse even more around him. But that's not the reason why I'm asking AITA.
He's an older guy who is a few years from retirement. When he got hired he claimed he was OK with computers but that's clearly a lie. He's no good with any of our software; he couldn't even handle a switch from outlook to gsuite and is in constant confusion. I've tried helping him out, even creating written outlines of how to use certain software but he ends up pushing everything back on me to just do for him (note: he never asks any of the guys). He laughs it off and says, oh you can't teach old dogs new tricks.
So after 2 months of being his unwilling personal assistant and IT support, he decided to have an info session on a new application the company started implementing. Honestly, it's an intuitive app and the training wasn't really necessary; nevertheless, he made it mandatory for the whole team. Midway through, I got fed up and started complaining at how useless it was to have a training on something we all know how to use. He shushed me and literally said "I'm trying to teach you something young lady." This honestly irked me more than it should have and I went on an expletive filled speech about how I've been trying to teach him how to do his job for months and how he uses his lack of computer skills to dump all his work onto the younger staff members. He went speechless for a minute and then said that my foul language made him feel uncomfortable and I was a manner less girl and he'd be going to HR about my inability to behave appropriately. Like really? Of all the things I said to him, he was upset the most my my cursing? I'll admit that my words were harsh but that's not even what he took offense to! Some of my coworkers thought it was hilarious but my PM thought I went too far which is why I'm asking, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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}
|
OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
ePHH2kKQEQNsAiqfJKdcZDNQX60Q49Kd
|
astz7p
|
{
"description": "showing a screen shot of a paragraph to my closest guy friend of my best girl friend and me that said as to why she is the way she is",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 10
}
|
AITA for showing a screen shot of a paragraph to my closest guy friend of my best girl friend and me that said as to why she is the way she is (depression, suicidal thoughts, etc.)?
|
Me and my best friend were together as a couple when she told me about her family issues, how she was treated like crap her whole life, and she was super depressed. She would cry her eyes out to sleep, wanted to kill herself, and didn't care about the future because she didn't think she would be around that long. She had issues with her step-father as he wanted to be with her. We broke up and have since been best friends.
The guy I told all of this to is a really close friend to her and me. We talk to each other all the time, hang-out often, and even work together. I looked at her like a sister and him like a brother.
I showed him the chat that I screen shot from Snapchat that was a paragraph of her saying what I said before hand except the stepfather part. She got furious at me for screen shotting this and showing him. I only screen shot this because I didn't want him to see everything else we talked about. I only showed him in person and didn't even send it to him. I even texted her after I screen shot it that I told him about it, I hope she doesn't mind and we are super close anyways.
He said that she didn't mind that I were to tell him about her step-dad and what happened with him but I ended up telling more as I felt bad for her. The thing is ever since I've found this out about her I've felt awful and every time I see the paragraph about her past I feel even more depressed because I didn't know if I could tell someone really close to her so we could help.
So I apologized after she found out, told her I only did it because I care about her and I felt like I was carrying a burden holding on to this as it hurt me knowing she was like this and I couldn't tell someone close to her so we could help (I've been like this for months). That I was stupid to do this, she was right to be angry at me, and that I would do everything in my power to earn her trust again because she is an amazing friend. She blocked me and deleted me on Snapchat and I don't know if she did my phone number either.
The guy friend tried to get her to understand and to tell her that I only did this because I care so much. I have wanted to help her ever since I was told this by her. That I've been dealing with her pain for so long by myself and no one else knows this about her but me. She told him to stop talking about me if he wants to be friends with her still. The thing is that I was friends with him before her and that he actually helped me pick her up as my wingman when we first met her.
So now I feel like I caused both my closest friends trouble. All I wanted was for her to finally have a great life and to be able to enjoy it without her issues/insecurities that she could fix/overcome with help (like us being support and her going to therapy). Shes had a horrible life up to meeting me and I wanted that to change ever since I learned about her past. Now I've messed up an amazing friendship and I don't even know if she will talk to me again at work on Monday.
|
HISTORICAL
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
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|
WRONG
|
Cdwomsnbu6naDzcZNu2SKhNoJWHJt6Nj
|
b2zjbe
|
{
"description": "trying to room with other girls",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA: For trying to room with other girls?
|
A little backstory: I'm a current college freshman going into my sophomore year. In order to apply for housing, we have to have an entire suite (4,5, or 6) girls complete.
About 2 months ago my roommate and I found 2 girls (A and K) to make a suite of 4 with in order to apply for housing. The first meeting with A and K went well, but K threw on us that her current roommate, C, would potentially be living with us because she had no other options, but was thrown into us, creating a 5. The only options for 5 rooms are very limited unless you overcrowd a room, but we had plans to switch to an apartment. Later we found out that the apartment was not an option for rising sophomores unless we had a 5 room originally and then emailed housing to move us in when anyone decided to drop out of the school or leave to go to another dorm. K, was upset with us about this because apparently it would be too overwhelming for her because she only wanted a single room (which would only happen if we had an apartment). We then had to have another meeting in order to decide again whether K approved of our plan or not. Through of all this she had been aggressive accusing us of withholding information. At each meeting K and C would show up late and leave earlier. After K finally approved of us doing an overcrowded room, she demanded that K and C demanded that they would have the double room, putting my roommate and I in the third with A.
A, my roommate, and I decided that maybe it would be best to separate from K and C. With that we started looking for options to separate and create two groups of 4. We had vaguely discussed this as there was tension, but K (for reasons we dont know) was against it completely. Even C had said she was okay with splitting up, but everything had to go through K first.
We continued looking for other people because we couldn't handle K anymore and went on to find 2 girls for them and another girl to make these groups of 4. We sent the contact info of the other 2 girls and
After, sending to K and C what we have decided, K blew up on us.
So really what I'm trying to find out is, are we the assholes for trying to move on in this way?
TL:DR: We had original housing plans, but after the negativity decided to split up and gave them options on people to live with so they don't get randomized. Are we the assholes?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
9TWbxySl7Lw6yF4M591R28cRPj1Z3tYb
|
arg497
|
{
"description": "being annoyed with my friend constantly calling me when they have relatively no one to talk to",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being annoyed with my friend constantly calling me when they have relatively no one to talk to?
|
First time poster on mobile, so I apologize for any mistakes.
So for context, I've been best friends with them for 3 years (known for 6 ish years). They used to live with their brother's family and roommates (wife with three kids and two roommates) we rarely talked. Call it a bit of a long distance friendship or whatever. After they moved across town, it started getting expensive to see with neither of us with a license or car.
They moved out, and now live with their parent again. They used to call me a solid 2 or 3 times a week while living with her brother. Now it's about 3 or 4 times a day. And they've very, very talkative. I mean like, 30 minutes of them talking and me maybe replying once every 5 minutes if I'm lucky. We used to have real conversations, but now it's like.. I just couldn't give a damn.
They don't have many close friends anymore either. I know they occasionally talk to others, but I know for sure it's not on the same level as they do with me. That makes me sound arrogant, but whatever. As far as I'm aware, they mainly talk to their boyfriend (they have a ldr) and I.
And everytime they call me, I'm immediately met with pure annoyance. I dunno, I feel kinda bad about it and I'm scared cause we had plans to move in together in a year or so. I thought about telling them to give me some space and tone down, but I don't know how to do it without hurting their feelings. I hate confrontation let alone calling someone out when they probably don't see the issue.
TD;LR- Best friend doesn't talk to many people anymore, so now they call me constantly in a day to talk and it fucking annoys me. Now I'm worryed about how I'm gonna feel towards them when we move in together. Am I an asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
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NOBODY
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|
RIGHT
|
6cA95XU8YLHeak3fIsl8IqOVAb2Dkc9Y
|
aw0qor
|
{
"description": "not traveling across the Country for a Party with Free Flights",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For not Traveling Across the Country for a Party with Free Flights
|
Story: I moved across the country for work about a year or so ago, and my family has purchased flights for me to go back home for an event this upcoming weekend. This is not an unusual occurance; we (SO and I) have flown (~3 hr flight one way) to my families hometown 7 times in the past 12 weeks for events that "we cant miss." They will pay for everything and guilt trip the heck out of us for not making it if we put up any resistance. To date we have not missed a single event.
This trip requires us to miss some days of work, and unfortunately this week is a very heavy work load for both of us. Not saying we cant miss, but it would be very tough to make up missed time. My sibling also is playing a very small part in this party and according to my mother 'would be very devastated if we dont come' (she did this exact party 3 weeks ago which we did attend). I am exhausted from this traveling and have tried to express this in a calm way, and have brought up our work load, but my parents only see me as being a spoiled son who "needs his beauty rest" and is missing the last event of the year. Any thoughts? Feeling pretty bad after turning down the flights, not sure if I am being unreasonable or not.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
r1yoOxPuMAAzFuJeYRS0huZ7r4VT037d
|
ahfi3q
|
{
"description": "going to hr about a coworker",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA If I go to HR about a coworker
|
I started a new role as the office manager for political strategies think tank about 2 weeks ago. Its pretty standard stuff. I have a coworker who is a researcher who we'll call John, I used to temp here a couple times a week so we've met before and he was always very nice and liked to chat (that happens a lot in temp jobs, there is always one employee who wants to make you feel a bit more comfortable and all that jazz), I've always been cordial but had recently become more standoffish as I am in a real role and I have a lot to do.
​
His friendly ways have escalated since I officially started, it went from simply "Hey! Good morning!" to "Good morning \_\_\_\_\_ how was your night? Got a lot of work today?" I have openly told people I prefer to not talk about my personal life, simply because I am here to work and help maintain day to day operations. The only person who knows a minuscule of information is my employee, but she is only in 2 days a week. But the office is aware I will be in LA for 4 days in 2 weeks. But thats all they know, I have shared nothing else as I need them to grasp I'm 3 hours behind so I don't want to be annoyed with "Can you order whiteout?"
​
Yesterday was when I began to feel uncomfortable, during lunch everyone clears out aside from me and John who is sitting upstairs. At some point he uses the restroom (which is next to my desk) and during that time my boyfriend called me to confirm a few things for LA including what we're doing for day trip to Santa Barbara, during the conversation I heard the toilet flush and sink run but I realized I never heard him come out of the bathroom. Our phone call ended with "Since you're working from home today, can you please taken some chicken down so we can make dinner right when I get home? Ok love you bye." I slide my phone in my pocket and BAM the bathroom door swings open and I'm met with "You said you're going to LA are you going on another trip to Santa Barbara? Who was that on the phone?" I calmly said Santa Barbara is only 1.5 hours from LA on the train, I am excited to see the Pacific Coast and a pretty simple, that was my partner. John left me alone for the day until it was 5:30 and he left and asked if I wanted to get a drink after work to which I declined because I don't drink and I didn't want to.
​
That night while eating I received 5 text from him asking "did ur friend take out the chicken?" "what r u making?" "hello" "i ended up picking up a premade meal from wegmans.. i wish i had someone to cook with each night :/" and my personal favorite "are u more of an ice cream or sorbet girl? ur such a mystery!"
​
Today I've been slammed with calls from reporters and other shit due to Cohen so the staff has been instructed to not bother me.
​
But now I am faced with a dilemma, my the HR manager is my direct boss, but I have only been her on their payroll for 2 weeks, John is GREAT at his job he gets some of the highest markers out of anyone but I obviously know he isn't immune to being reprimanded. My fear comes with in the fact I feel I'll be looked at as an asshole if I talk to HR as I'm new and there is such stigma around reporting misconduct
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
DIvzoY0pmNcMymvHAwwrdidUUtTD0StI
|
avsnbw
|
{
"description": "seeing other men while my boyfriend is away on holiday",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 28
}
|
WIBTA if I see other men while my boyfriend is away on holiday?
|
Before you all start telling me that would be cheating, i would like to explain myself. My boyfriend has told me that he didn’t want me going on his summer holiday with his friends because his ex will be there. As much as I wanted to go at the beginning I do not want to be in an area where I was initially unwelcome. During the time that he’s going to be away, I foresee myself being lonely and alone. Would I be an arsehole if I saw other people during this time?
Tl;dr boyfriend is going on a holiday that he avoided me from. I’m going to be bored. Can I see other people during this time?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 19,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 28
}
|
WRONG
|
IB74hC2OHXgUHR8CLGliGftG5UFnohbl
|
9u4lze
|
{
"description": "standing up for my friend",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for standing up for my friend?
|
Hi reddit, new to this whole thing, so apologies for any formatting issues. I'm posting because this is really bothering me and I'd like some outsiders views.
I have a large group of friends, and we're usually pretty close knit. One of my friends (lets call her E) is dating another one of my friends (we'll call him T.) They're at separate universities, so it's a long distance relationship, which of course comes with it's own challenges. We're all in the same age range (18 - 22).
E and I are very close, and I care about her a great deal. She and T have been going through a rough patch for the past 2 weeks - he's been very short with her, has snapped and simply gone silent at her multiple times. It's not completely out of character for him, and I don't really appreciate him treating her like this, but it's honestly not really my place to say anything.
He told her yesterday why he was being so short with her recently. His friends at his varsity have been 'joking' about E in a very sexual manner. The comments they were making amounted to them discussing in which order they'd like to have sex with her, and how they would like to pass her around the group. T was unhappy with their comments, but didn't make any attempt to stop or deter them, and instead took his frustrations out on E.
E told me all of this, and was naturally very upset and hurt by the comments. I told her I didn't think it was appropriate at all for them to be talking about her like that, and the fact that her SO was taking his anger out on her AND not making any attempt to stop his friends commentary was crossing a line, and that I would consider leaving him.
Here's where I'd like to know if I was an asshole. I told E I thought T was immature, and not ready for a long distance, serious relationship. I used the phrase 'an emotional manchild.'
E then told T about my thoughts, and he thought I was blowing everything out of proportion, and was unhappy I was being involved in this. He did, however, tell his friends to back off.
However! My whole friend group, including E, is now not talking to me. I accepted that calling him names was a low blow and possibly quite cruel on my behalf. So I apologised to him for what I'd said and any boundaries I'd crossed in his relationship.
His response was "don't fucking talk to me". The other friends in the group think that E was being irrational, and that I don't understand how guys talk to guys.
I think that treating anyone like a piece of meat is completely uncalled for, and your SO taking frustrations out on you is a red flag.
So am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
wbsHjCp1ggd8O7BO2T8RhplXj3bMs3PG
|
a1x31r
|
{
"description": "encouraging my funny friend to keep making funny jokes even though other friends of ours say they're getting old",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for encouraging my funny friend to keep making funny jokes even though other friends of ours say they're getting old?
|
So I have these three very, very good friends. We have pretty dark humor. One of my friends, let's call him A, loves to make really funny jokes at the expense of others, though it's all in good fun; he never intentionally offends anyone. The others, B and C, also like to make really funny jokes but not nearly as much as A. One of our continually running jokes is at the expense of C.
​
So yesterday, A was making so many funny jokes at the expense of C, and B was saying "Okay it's getting really old." But A also kept making the jokes to annoy B. B kept telling me, "You're encouraging him!" but I said "It's funny!" Then B said "Maybe the first ten thousand times." C doesn't even care; nothing gets to him; he plays along with them, and he makes funny jokes back at us.
​
So, AITA for encouraging S to go for it ten thousand more times?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
bpWDxGoNgb9RVTLDQCOz2Z6O3n6aMNUe
|
a1xulf
|
{
"description": "getting annoyed with obituaries on Facebook",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for getting annoyed with obituaries on Facebook?
|
I grew up in a relatively small area. You may not have known everyone, but you definitely knew someone who knew the people you didnt. Well, when (young) people die (typically of drug overdoses or being reckless or suicide), my Facebook blows up with obituaries and photos and posts about said person when they didn't do that when they were alive. AITA for being annoyed with this? They could have and should have done that when said person was still alive.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
PvdYkkBdIEe1EWraBZ4RORkT5QU4ALdB
|
af42ay
|
{
"description": "not letting my husband interact alone with our son after he's smoked",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not letting my husband interact alone with our son after he’s smoked?
|
Throw away just in case.
My husband and I have been married for 4 years and have 13 month old son. We’ve been together since college and I’ve always known him to indulge in weed quite frequently. We both have good jobs and his usage is always after work/ on weekends and doesn’t interfere with his work.
A little backstory: when first got pregnant, I thought it would be mice if we both abstained from things I personally had to like weed, alcohol, nicotine etc. (I don’t smoke weed for the record and have been nicotine free ever since that positive pregnancy test). He did not agree with this, which was fine it was a request not a demand. Though it did become a little less frequent.
When our son was smaller, my husband smoked VERY infrequently, I could probably count the times he smoked the first 9 months of my sons life, and it was never a problem at home. He would go out and would always come back sober, have a nice time with his friends and a much needed break.
Now that our son is 13 months and has started to walk more, he’s honestly tiring and sometimes hard to deal with. But in my husbands eyes he sees a kid walking as becoming more “independent” despite the fact that he’s able to get into much more things if he’s not being watched. He’s a curious baby. And my husband sees this as he can start smoking more frequently.
He’s not a bad father at all. I want to stress that, but the past 2 weeks any time he is high around the house, I’ve refused to let him be solely the only one around our son. This is because once, he got a little distracted playing video games while our son was playing with toys and he wandered into the other room and ended up getting pulling things down, almost on top of him. Nothing that in theory could hurt him, but it was incredibly scary for me.
Since then, when he’s high at home, I’ll switch the schedule for the day so he’s never left alone with him. Even if he says he’s not feeling the effects of the weed anymore, he’s just kind of in that distracted haze for the rest of the day and it makes me uncomfortable.
I think I’m the asshole because we got into an argument about it making my day harder. My son hasn’t been picked up from daycare yet so he didn’t overhear. But he just said I was being crazy paranoid about this, when I said I wanted him to reconsider the idea of stopping smoking altogether. I just feel its going to start a slippery slope and get more frequent and push more of the child work on to me.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 17,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 17,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
W507f0yP2Dw9610yAUcruFelGd9nD4Oo
|
alkcse
|
{
"description": "reporting my neighbor to management",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for reporting my neighbor to management?
|
I have lived in my townhome for a year. Over this past year, I have had four different neighbors in one apartment next to me. This ain’t unusual as I live in a college town as well as a military town, so people come and go often. I’ve never had issues with neighbors until now, and in fact have a great relationship with the neighbor on the other side.
Our lease states that parking in the complex is open and there are no assigned spots, but everyone is only allotted two parking spots.
We started to have issues with tenants having three cars or multiple guests over and taking other tenants “spots.” This never affected me as someone else was living next to me at the time. But because so many people were pissed about this, the property manager sent an email stating that everyone needed to stick to the two spots directly in front of their apartments to avoid conflict.
The new neighbor was a single guy who moved in and there were no issues. Shortly after, his girlfriend moved in (technically think she isn’t even on the lease and we’re not allowed prolonged visitors, but I have no proof that she isn’t on it) and she caused this ridiculousness. Once she moved in, she would have friends over and take up the spots in front of my building. I am towards the corner of it, it’s a row of townhomes and there are multiple rows in the complex. So when my spots were taken, I had to park further away.
I tried knocking on their door one day to ask if they could avoid my spot but they didn’t answer. So I left a note (even apologized in the note for leaving a note and tried to be as nice as possible). Since then, she has taken to only parking in “my spot” even when all of the others are free. Not to mention, this spot is directly in front of my apartment and no one else’s, so she’s not benefitting from parking here. Now, you may say, “VeganMansion, why don’t you just park in her spot if it’s just one spot over? Don’t be an asshole.” Well the answer is I did that to avoid confrontation. Now, because she is a shitty person, she will get in her car at night and turn in her brights so that they shine through my window (again, this is the only spot in front of only. My. Apartment.). Sometimes she actually goes somewhere, sometimes she just sits in her car. If she does go somewhere I’ll move my car into my spot before she gets back. But as soon as I leave for work in the morning, she moved back in front of my apartment. And that night she will make sure she shines her brights through my window for a few minutes.
I brought the issue up via email to the property manager who said she would send out a mass email telling people to park in front of their own apartments. This never happened. So tonight I sent another email, escalating the situation, telling them that this chick is shining her lights through my window every night (not entirely true, but it is a good 5/7 nights of the week) and hinting that she moved in without permission.
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
JkDWZ1r510VvOz7hoeahQt3v3EmIilT8
|
awmo2i
|
{
"description": "sending a meme to my friend who has crash on me",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA Sending a meme to my friend who has crash on me?
|
I sent a meme to my friend with text "This could be us but you keep fucking praying". I sent it becouse the image is pretty good looking and i thought he'll like it. I know that he is in love with me and we talked about it 2 days ago. He said that he was hiding it for bout 2 years and i kinda knew that he wants something more but i thought he can handle it. I said that i dont feel the same and we wont be together but i want to hold our relationship on the same level. He asked for the reason why i sent it to him and that he doesn't understand. Am i the asshole for his wrong interpretation of simple meme? I mean i just wanted to share it becouse it looks cool.
I hope me english is ok.
And i am the guy receiving it but i want to ask for it from her perspective to know if i am crazy
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 8
}
|
WRONG
|
V1zmDYnjfXHRzFpnX8bukKuLIFxTjwPZ
|
b8jlij
| null |
AITA in this situation with a (formerly) close friend?
|
So I (a woman) have been friends with another woman online for the best part of a decade. We live in different countries and hence have never met. However, we had a great friendship and chatted online daily, and I considered her one of my closest friends in the world.
She recently lost a close family member to illness and stopped messaging me. I felt and still feel awful for her, and was clear that she could confide in me whenever she felt ready to do so. I haven't experienced a loss that great myself, but I'm aware that one can't put a timeline on grief. I'm also aware that not everyone likes to be supported through problems the way I do (I like to talk things out to death, and she's the opposite). So I was happy to give her space, even though I thought of and worried about and missed her a lot. However, looking up online resources about grief, I saw a lot of stuff about how sometimes being given space can be isolating and it means a lot to know that people care. I didn't want her to think that my silence meant that I didn't care, so after a few weeks, I messaged asking how she was. She read it, but no response. I figured fair enough, she's not ready to talk, so gave it a bit more time and reached out again. Still got left on read. Figured she had to be really suffering, so left it again. Then she started posting on social media after a break - pictures of local scenery and food, even some jokes. I figured this meant that she was doing stuff and feeling better. I reached out again, nothing, gave it some time and tried on a different platform, still nothing.
At this point, it was fairly obvious to me that I was being ignored; however, since I didn't have any mutual friends with her, I didn't know if she wasn't PM-ing anyone, or if she was messaging other people but specifically ignoring me. I had once bought something from one of her IRL friends, so as a last-ditch thing, I decided to message that person explaining that I hadn't heard from my friend in quite some time and wanted to know if she was all right etc. This backfired spectacularly; that person went to my friend, and my friend then messaged me demanding that I stop messaging her friends. I apologised and said that I just wanted to check how she was. She didn't even read my responses.
I'm assuming that the friendship is over, and I'm baffled. She hasn't removed or blocked me anywhere, but she also won't speak to me. I'd almost prefer it if she removed me as at least I'd know where I stood that way. This way, I genuinely don't know if I've done something heinous and just don't know it? I'm far from perfect and perhaps there were some flaws in my support when her family member was ill, and perhaps I've been and still am being too selfish and not considering her feelings enough, but I really feel like I tried to do right by her. I don't know what I could have done that was so terrible as to deserve such hostility.
AITA here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
gsJWGeVjbT5suovay5DbVZm07Pyx8rbC
|
arytq5
|
{
"description": "blocking a girl on my boyfriends phone",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 12
}
|
AITA for blocking a girl on my boyfriends phone?
|
Throw away account.
So my boyfriend and I are getting along pretty great and stuff and we haven't had many issues in the past.
So one night I jokingly get on his phone to message myself (we do this a lot to each other) and I see a name at the bottom of the text messages. Let's call her Jan.
So I asked him "who is Jan?" and he said "no-one"
Thinking it was a relative I opened the text. We have previously agreed to going through each others phones so again this wasn't a big deal.
It's some girl at our highschool and she's messaging him stuff like "can I be your Valentine?" "I'll be whatever you want me to be" "you seem so sad all the time" (my boyfriend has sleeping problems and always looks TIRED not sad.)
So I was like what the hell babe? Who is she? How do you know her? He said some girl he tried being friends with but it's not working out. So I was like why? You have (Kaitlyn) and (Jessica) and all your guy friends?
His replies to her text were "I'd rather just be friends." "thanks" "I already have someone"
So I messaged her saying that he was taken and please don't message him again and then I blocked her. When I read the texts they were days old he never told me? So I was super upset.
So AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 12,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 12
}
|
WRONG
|
XRU7dyMQOIzHl68JmfMiGy2xmcah0PNy
|
ahp5uy
|
{
"description": "having some friends over past 12:00 on a Friday night",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for having some friends over past 12:00 on a Friday night
|
I honestly don’t know if I have the right to be mad or not but to give you some context here:
I go to college in Utah and we just got finished with a long week of school and some of my friends are wondering if they can come over and drink a beer and then go to a party in my same apartment complex (It’s hotel style complex). I say sure and about 7 people come over and we play a fun little drinking game until about 10:30 then go to this party and dance it up. (Keep in mind this party is blasting LOUD music and there’s like 60 people there and the whole fourth floor can hear it, we live on the third floor). The party ends at about 12:30 but we decide to come back at 11:30. That’s when my friend roommate gets a text from my other roommate, let’s call him T
“It is unreasonable to ask you guys to be quiet after 12 some people are trying to sleep here”
Backstory:
When T moved in he told me he was a hermit and I have nothing wrong with that (we actually became friends if I thought so myself and talk about video games and class and how to make bread)
2 days ago T told me he went 72 hours without sleep and I asked why?! And he said “oh just because” and I thought it was crazy but hey it’s his choice and we’re in college!
Anyways I immediately tell everyone to be quieter and they listen and we just sit in my living room talking and laughing having a good time as it is Friday night and we just want to have some fun.
That’s when T comes into our living room saying in the most accusing and passive aggressive voice “can you guys be quiet some people are trying to sleep here” then leaves and goes down the hallway back to his room.
After that all my friends left (it’s 12:30) and I cleaned up the kitchen and went to my room ( I haven’t said anything to him). I’m kind of mad at him because he ruined my fun Friday night. I don’t even believe we were being obnoxiously loud either, just talking and having a good time. I also know he has no job and no school tomorrow and I saw him this morning in his pajamas eating cereal than going back to his room.
I talked to my roommate about it and we both think it might have something to do with the alcohol rather than it being 12:30 (I mean the party was still blasting SUPER loud music). Utah has a lot of Mormons and we know they do not drink so we NEVER pressure anything on anyone and we don’t care if they don’t (3 of the girls there are Mormon and didn’t drink) but we still like to have a beer sometimes and chill even if we get judged quite a bit.
With all this said, AITA for being mad at my roommate for making my friends leave and ending our little get together?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 2
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
iP6e1vtSUvAO9s96Vb2JJMsFM2URcxAM
|
azwun2
|
{
"description": "not telling the special needs kids school I wasn't volunteering",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not telling the special needs kids school I wasn't volunteering?
|
Sorry if my English is bad, it's not my first language, I'm sick af and I'm on mobile.
Yesterday I told a friend of mine that story and he told me I was a bit asshole, and I kinda see where he gets that.
So, I was 14 at that time, and I wanted to work. Instead of working a shit teen job, my mom offered me to "volunteer" in a school for disabled kids (7-10 yo) and she will pay me. So I did, and "worked" there for 2 months.
At the last day of the summer vacation the staff threw a surprise goodbye party for me with the kids, and all the staff told me that they were amazed by the fact I was volunteering there while all the other teenagers were busy drinking. (I was the only minor there).
At that moment I didn't had the guts to tell them my mom was paying me, and all I did was saying thanks over and over again.
They even bought me a small souvenir.
I would have told them if the subject of payment was brought up before.
AITA for not telling them I was getting paid by my mom?
P.s:
My mom paid me more than I would have got a normal job for that age.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 7,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
AEQcbUM8c751KpMeC6vALYKQuV5b3e7i
|
awv8b5
|
{
"description": "finding a situation funny",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for finding a situation funny?
|
I was having a text conversation with a friend last night, and she told me that she was going to go to an AA meeting this week. She has had problems with substance use in the past (prior to when we met), but everything she's said to me regarding her current status gave me the impression that she was fine and was not having any issues. Regardless, I took it at face value and offered words of encouragement as she was clearly nervous about going.
She responded to my encouragement with, "I'm going to meet other gay women to make friends. I'm not going for AA." Totally taken by surprise, I said, "Oh shit that's hilarious."
So given that this is a text conversation and that I also know she's often...overly-sensitive/dramatic/etc, I have no excuses to offer regarding my response. I could have (and should have) answered differently. But I didn't, so that's why I'm here.
Of course, she wanted to know why it was hilarious. I explained (truthfully) that it was a completely unexpected response when compared to the expected reason for going to an AA meeting, and that there was also an "oddly specific" quality to her response...that she was not simply looking for friends, but specifically gay friends (she is gay so I understand why she's looking for gay friends). On top of that, the whole thing reminded me of Fight Club.
She questioned me on why it would be weird for her to want gay friends. I clarified that it wasn't weird that she was looking for gay friends, just that going to AA with the singular goal of making friends was unexpected. Going to make gay friends added a level of specificity that made it even more unexpected.
Her response was that people go to AA to make friends all the time, and then talked about how friendships form throughout the process. I said I understood and would expect that friendships would form in the process of attending meetings since attendees have something in common, and especially considering that they can talk about their struggles freely whereas talking about their struggles in public would likely elicit a negative or judgemental response. However, my perception was that people went there first for support/help, and that the friendships came in the process of attending the meetings...not that people went to the meetings to find friends and then found support in the process.
At that point, she said "Never mind" and didn't want to talk about it anymore because she didn't want to be laughed at.
I think it's also important to note that she doesn't regularly attend AA meetings because she has a fundamental disagreement with the process/structure, and from what she's told me, AA groups aren't very accepting of different methods/ways to achieve sobriety. This is not a judgmental statement; I'm simply relaying what she has told me in the past.
So...am I the asshole for finding humor in this situation and completely misunderstanding how AA meetings work?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
QOx3TZpJ5fsyu0NCuaLU0IF2f8iJvhbu
|
b8emni
|
{
"description": "not wanting to go to prom with my boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for not wanting to go to prom with my boyfriend?
|
honestly, I think the post is how the title explained it.
my boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 3 and a half years. we're in our senior year of high school. he is the nicest person I know, and has put up with ridiculous amounts of my shit for nothing, including a mental illness rollercoaster that seems to be never-ending. I don't think I deserve him.
he has never liked school dances or events. I went to all three of the dances freshmen year, he went to the last one (formal) with me. we went to all of the football games together that we could (kind of like dates, but where I was a flaky bitch). we went to our football season kick off together two years. we rarely go to see school plays (but this one is more on me).
we both definitely thought we'd go to prom together BUT he has no interest in prom. the whole idea of prom and the plans my close friend, S, and I want to make surrounding prom just stress him out. he feels terribly anxious about it. I honestly don't think I reacted to him being stressed about it well, and I owe him an apology for that.
however, when we were fighting about prom, I suggested he shouldn't go and I honestly stand by that. in my ideal prom, yeah, he'd go and he'd have a hell of time, but that's not reality. reality is that he is dreading it, he's not interested, and that he doesn't think he'd enjoy it. he still insists on attending with me though, and says he'll just feel anxious internally, and I don't think he should. I think he should stay home or go to work or do whatever he wants, and I can go to prom. I can go with a friend and I can have fun, while he has his fun. he says this means I don't want to spend time with him, which isn't true. I love him so so much. we try to spend all available time together. I don't want to spend time with him when I know that time is not enjoyable, especially when I know it's because of what I chose for us to do, and knowing that I'm keeping him there.
I don't know. I feel like an asshole and I feel like I'm in the right. I know he went to bed upset at me and that makes me feel worse. I wouldn't mind him going with the friend, T, I'd be going with if he didn't go, but I think I'd be bothered if he went with someone who wasn't T. (also, I only know I'd go with T if my boyfriend didn't go because T is currently going with us to prom as a little group. S was supposed to come too but she found a date!!!) So Reddit, AITA if I go to prom without my boyfriend?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
1NlMYl3BqO2yuu1OYxpunp63rgdArAOw
|
aww996
|
{
"description": "not wanting to pick dinner",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for not wanting to pick dinner?
|
This is a pretty tame one but something that keeps coming up in my marriage.
To give some background, I am going to school for engineering and I work from home 10-15 hours a week. Because of this my wife does almost all the shopping and cooking. I never push her to do it, it's simply something she enjoys doing.
A lot of the time she'll ask me what I want for dinner. I usually say, "whatever is fine". And I mean it. I have never complained about anything she makes, and I super appreciate it. However, my response bugs her quite a bit sometimes because she "hates having to always pick what's for dinner."
I don't like chosing for a couple reasons. One, I don't know what we have because I didn't do the shopping, so I'd just be guessing until I land on something we have the ingredients for. Second, I don't know how much cooking she is in the mood for. Some of the things she makes can take over an hour and other meals take less than 20 min. I'd feel demanding if I ever suggested she make something that takes a while, but sometimes she likes spending that time. It just doesn't make much sense to me to choose dinner.
The main reason she wants me to choose is because my wife doesn't like making decisions all the time. She feels bad for the other people and usually just wants them to be happy. I'm usually fine making decisions, but in this situation I would rather not.
Anyway, I'm rambling, so AITA for not wanting to choose what's for dinner?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 7,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 8
}
|
WRONG
|
lygOyhc5wStwR60aeTMzZUi34OW4CouP
|
b8u06m
|
{
"description": "cutting out friends because we have nothing in common anymore",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for cutting out friends because we have nothing in common anymore?
|
(Using an anon account for privacy. Sorry if it’s a little vague, trying to stay anon.)
During my freshman year I joined an organization (I guess it could organizationally be compared to a Greek house, just for context, but it is not one) made up of roughly 90-100 people. It was one of those groups where everyone kind of knew everyone else, and you spent a lot of time with them collaborating together so you are kind of expected to be friends with some if not most of the kids in your class year.
So, like everyone else, I made a few friends in and out of my year for a few years. Because of the enormous time constraints of the organization, it’s fair to say these people were and still are my only group of friends on campus. But then, part way through my second year I left the organization for personal reasons. Around this time, I relied heavily on the support of my friends because this was essentially a huge social, mental and lifestyle change that I needed some support to transition through. Most of them were all very understanding, and did not just leave me in the dust.
However, as time went on I realized that I was never seeing these friends because they were busy with the organization or they’d plan things together and forget about me. When I did tag along, their conversation topics mainly included their majors (which they all had similar ones and I had always been the odd one out in that regard) and the activities they were doing in the organization. I usually found myself with very little to contribute since it is all very specific and unless you’re there participating it’s hard to chime in.
I’ve been considering just kind of letting these “friendships” die out since I don’t really have anything in common with them now that I’ve left the one organization that we’d all done, and I’m really struggling finding anything to talk to with them, and it makes me kind of sad that that’s the only discussion that is had when I’m around. (Also, not sure if this is relevant but I was reluctant to be friends with them in the first place because I’ve never really bought into friendships that are just based on circumstance (ie, being a part of this organization) rather than interests and values, so the fact that we no longer even have said circumstance and no common interests really makes me question what we’re even doing.)
TL;DR: I have a group of friends based out of a common organization that I am no longer a part of and now we have nothing in common.
So Reddit, WIBTA if I stopped talking to them or let them know that I really just don’t think we have grounds for friendship anymore?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
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}
|
NOBODY
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
jT8FuDhx4QlFIoJguu8kOiQOa0rjPbb8
|
b6am6o
|
{
"description": "reporting my mom to the authorities",
"pronormative_score": 20,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I report my mom to the authorities?
|
Obligatory I'm on mobile, English is not my first language yadda yadda. Also the country I'm living in is Germany.
Backstory:
A few years ago my mum started believing in conspiracy theories, went from pretty open minded to racist and started sharing populist thoughts basically saying stuff like "there's a NWO organisation, Merkel is the granddaughter of Hitler, the white population is being infiltrated by non-whites and its being replaced by those filthy immigrants" etc. etc.
This of course caused many arguments and disparities between her and the rest of the family since we all tend to be open minded and think that these kinds of thoughts are just complete and utter bullshit.
Now onto the main part:
A few months ago after my mum got diagnosed with cancer and after my stepdad at that time left her she started dating this guy who's sharing these thoughts as well if not even a tad bit more extreme. For example I know that he's a flat earther and doesn't like the way our system works, especially the school system since the kids are being "indoctrinated the wrong thoughts and are being teached unnecessary shit".
I'm 19, my sister is 15 and has never been particularly good in school. My mum decided to take her out of school and to "homeschool her at the school of life" when she's ready, which is btw illegal since it's the parents responsibility to ensure the kids get the education and send them to school.
My mum obviously doesn't want to have any of that "indoctrination" in state schools being pressed into her kids head, that's why she took her out.
We argued a lot about this decision since I suspect that my sister will just use the time outside school to not do anything and therefore loosing contact to how the real life is, not getting a degree and not being able to not make anything out of herself.
I and others from my family also fear that she'll try teaching my sister things that are coming from her reality. Things like those mentioned above, that the holocaust wasn't real and the allies faked it and that the talk about climate change is a huge scam caused by idk who.
I'm having thoughts of reporting my sisters absence and my worries to authorities which would mean that my sis would be forced to go to school and I'd probably be dead for my mother since I betrayed her.
So WIBTA if I reported her to the authorities for neglecting my sisters education and probably destroying her future?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 20,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 20,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
S2IME0mxMjUjOHbgZ9j3Tpl3F0IgvzC0
|
arfrar
|
{
"description": "not saying sir or maam to anyone",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not saying sir or maam to anyone
|
Title essentially says it all as the ENLIGHTENED teenager I am I believe I have gotten decently far in life for not saying it to anyone not even my parents or boss because it makes me feel uncomfortable maybe because I'm almost submitting to them I guess. I have gotten amazing internships, I have an amazing gpa and teachers usually don't hate me but a few are adamant for me not doing it. They say it's disrespectful but I don't want to change that part of me for anyone.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
LAmviiTARlKARy3S2BXtQqkD3ykQyiRA
|
a1tiod
|
{
"description": "letting people keep some of the money they owe me as a Christmas present",
"pronormative_score": 22,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
WIBTA if I let people keep some of the money they owe me as a Christmas present?
|
A few people owe me money, up to the hundreds for some. Would I be an ass to let then keep (some of) the money they owe instead of going to buy them an actual Christmas present? I don't know if that's condescending.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 20,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 5
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 22,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
6IMuTBp9HTmET1ZbOK7AvImYQ8GWxFBr
|
apbtoh
|
{
"description": "being distant with my mom",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being distant with my mom?
|
My mom is an alcoholic. She has been for years and years now, but it only really hit me about 7 years ago when I was 12. Since then, I’ve slowly become resentful towards her because of her drinking, as has my sister and my dad.
She is a wonderful woman if she wants to be and is sober, and I love her dearly. She has depression as well, and it hits her hard sometimes.
As I was applying to colleges last year (18M), I knew I wanted to leave the area so I could get away from her drinking and live the college life like my older sister. I ended up staying and going to the local state school due to cost, but I regret it. When fall semester started, my parents moved downtown, which made my moms drinking problem worse. In October, my mom found texts to my dad from another woman, which set her off, I came home and she was drunk and crying and I was left to comfort her as my dad left, and came back. I supported her as best I could. They’re still together, but this only worsened her drinking. She told me my father has been cheating for a while.
Fast forward to this last week, my mom finally admits she is an alcoholic. She is crying and telling me that she’s going to get help. I told her I’m here for her and support her. She said that I don’t need to forgive her, but she wants to make it up to us. My family has always had to tiptoe around what we say to my mom or else it may set her off into a depression spiral, so I did not get to tell her how I really felt. She has hurt me many times, and my sister doesn’t even want to speak to her anymore.
So today she comes into my room and asks me what’s wrong since I seemed a bit cold today. I tell her that I am still trying to take everything in and I need some time to be ok. I did not mean to hurt her, but I wanted to let her know that I can’t be super friendly right now because I need to think about things. She has put me on an emotional rollercoaster the last several months and especially this last week. I know things have been rough on her especially, but I cannot always be her therapist (though I try when she needs it) and not be expected to have my own feelings about things.
She was clearly upset during dinner and went straight into her room afterwards clearly depressed about the situation, on the verge of tears. She said she didn’t want to be ignored in our own house, which my dad and I weren’t at all.
AITA for trying to be honest with her?
TL;DR: Depressed, alcoholic mom asks me what’s wrong, I tell her I need time to figure out how I feel about her alcoholism, she gets upset.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
BjPY3CpoZHhEKwpxgqwh2QEEOd6eTMOK
|
az3ash
|
{
"description": "saying my grildfriend isnt especially attractive",
"pronormative_score": 97,
"contranormative_score": 258
}
|
AITA for saying my grildfriend isnt especially attractive
|
For some context to start with, we have been together about 2 years and I very much love her. We built a very solid friendship but I pushed for something more and eventually we made the jump. We are quite different people, but we get on brilliantly and I could see me having a life with her.
So recently I was chatting to a close friend of mine over some beers. Not enough to be drunk, but we were both speaking quite candidly. He says he has been struggling to find a relationship because none of the girls he gets along with are "his type" physically. I responded basically saying maybe he should try dating someone like that anyway because if he did gel really well he could get past that. I could see he wasn't really taking me seriously so I said "Seriously, I don't think /redactedGFname/ is massively attractive and certainly isn't my type". Now he was listening I explaind that I though from an objective stance she looks a bit above average as women go, but nothing ground breaking, and that my type would be thiccer with decent breasts whereas she is pencil thin and flat as paper. But, crucially, I care massively for her and there is nobody I would rather be looking at. There are all these little things about her that make me love her. He seemed to take it onboard so we moved on and continued with the night.
Fast forward to 2 nights ago and he was at a party with my GF I couldn't go to because of workload. I didn't get to see her till late the following day. She said the party was fun, but was quite cold with me all evening so I asked of something happened at the party, and it turns out while drunk my mate had told her about our conversation and made it sound like I though she was unattractive. Now, I strongly believe in being honest in all instances, and I also didn't think there was anything wrong with voicing these opinions, and so I tried explaining to her the actual full opinion, but clearly she didn't agree with me there, saying things like "how can you truly love someone if you don't find them attractive" which is not what I had said at all. She also said this wasn't something that should be said, especially not to other people and that it'd a show of disrespect to her, which I would concede if it wasn't a close friend I was trying to give advice to. She left after arguing with me for a while and has been barely talking to me since. I apologies for offending her, but won't apologise for the sentiment. Love is complicated. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 243,
"OTHER": 77,
"EVERYBODY": 15,
"NOBODY": 20,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 97,
"WRONG": 258
}
|
WRONG
|
BJiCJtzvWhk0CUqXhWTJLFJNEUQfQYr2
|
apn1xe
|
{
"description": "seeking emotional support from a friend? he believes I gaslit him, and I think it's the other way around",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for seeking emotional support from a friend? He believes I gaslit him, and I think it's the other way around.
|
I have a deep relationship with a friend from undergrad. We now live a few hours away from each other by car but often call each other on the phone. He introduced me to Buddhism and overall we've been supporting each other for a while now. At least so I thought.
​
Recently I was writing a thesis to graduate, and it wasn't easy. Though I started seeing writing as a tool for discovering my thoughts, meaning I had to write through my confusion (as opposed to putting down thoughts in writing, meaning I had to think through my confusion), I was still feeling very confused and many of my unresolved insecurities were coming back up. So I would call up my friend, believing he'd lend a kind ear.
​
Now mind you, my friend is going through a depression with its ups and downs. Recently, he's been battling with how neither stopping weed nor getting into a relationship with someone he is deeply attracted to solved his loneliness. He also is staying with his grandma because she's getting very old.
We tripped on New Year's and he realised how his worldview might have been limited by his lack of seeing different perspectives (through e.g. travel), and how he may not agree with the way the NGO he's organising for is going about its intentions (he doesn't work, his only job is that NGO). I realised how much of my confusion around the thesis was coming from a place of arrogance/hubris, and how accepting that I didn't know anything helped me see what I had refused to learn about and opened the door to changing my relationship with confusion.
​
So last time I called him, he more or less hangs up on me and tells me he doesn't have time for me, then texts me I am not his soapbox and if I seek help the only thing he can advise is to "sit" (i.e. meditate) and "journal". I respond to him that if those words were enough they'd have worked ages ago, and to check his own hubris, i.e. that he was acting towards my situation the way I used to act around my thesis.
He doesn't take it well, and I tell him that since he's not in the headspace to do so, I'll just hold off on it until the thesis is done and just get support from e.g. my parents. But he believed I was trying to guilt him into being there for me, which I said was his interpretation. Then he links me to a post about gaslighting, and tells me how I kept saying it was his interpretation was an attempt to absolve myself off the responsibility for making him feel bad to not have the space to help me with my problems.
​
I think he's the one gaslighting me (albeit unconsciously), and it's not the first time either. This event brought up all the times he projected his self-flagellation onto my behaviour. Whenever I criticise him on anything touchy he blames me for making him feel bad. One example: he told me about a project that could happen where he'd partner with his friend to provide yoga and Buddhist teachings to groups, and then proceeded to lash out at me for twenty minutes because me saying "then make it happen" was me "sounding like \[his\] father". Combined with the fact that most of the times when he comes visit me it's a byproduct of an event of his sister (who lives in the same city as I do) that he's attending (wedding, graduation, etc.), whereas I often go to where he lives just to see him, despite having other friends there.
​
Overall I'm tired of talking to him, because I do not want to be blamed for putting expectations on him that I'm not putting. It's a pretty basic matter of trust between friends to accept that I do not have an evil or burdening intent towards him when I tell him my opinion.
​
This pattern has got so bad I'm almost led to ask a WIBTA. Right before this shit happened, he told me he won't end up traveling because he took more responsibilities with his NGO, and I felt like he might have backtracked on his new year's realisations. But I didn't tell him that, I guess because I was so worried about walking on eggshells around his feelings. So I didn't tell him anything, and waited to submit my thesis before getting back and offloading to reddit the judgement on who's gaslighting whom.
​
**TL;DR**: My friend believes I gaslit him because I told him that it's his interpretation that me telling him I understand he's not in the place to support me is actually guilting him into emotionally supporting me through a tough time. I think he's unconsciously gaslighting me by blaming me for his own perfectionism, and distorting my words to put in them an intent to burden him.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 2,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
0NxSJYMw20q6ECzKkqz6yxYkCnLpNa3K
|
aasvob
| null |
AITA for my ultimatum on her dog?
|
This happened a few months ago, but I still honestly wonder if the people around me placated me or if I’m the asshole.
First, let me say that I have very few issues with my kids’ step mom. We tend to get along and agree to what’s right for the kids more than my ex and I do. That being said... She brought 2 large dogs into my kids’ house. There were already 2 cats that were there from my ex’s and I’s marriage. Things were going along fine until one evening when I picked up my boys. They told me that B (one of the dogs) had killed D (one of the cats) in front of them and they were scared. Mind you, I heard this from my kids, not their dad. We have 50/50 custody. I called and asked if it was true and upon confirmation I refused to let my kids go back over until the dog was gone. I was told (by SM) that B wouldn’t hurt the kids, she just thought that small animals were chew toys sometimes. My kids were 9 and 6 at the time. She ended up putting the dog down and blamed me for it. She told me that I killed her dog and didn’t have any right to decide what goes on in their house. I accept and understand that I can’t control anyone’s house but my own, but I didn’t tell her to kill the dog and I was legitimately worried about my kids’ safety. Was ITA and did I overstep my bounds for giving the ultimatum?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
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}
|
RIGHT
|
d4ZeZm4H1GtNG878ZeoZEfs0pmzg0Evz
|
b6cyhg
|
{
"description": "not stopping at Trader Joes on my way home from school",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not stopping at Trader Joes on my way home from school?
|
I'm a senior in high school and I am quite literally drowning in work. I go to a competitive school and I'm taking 4 AP classes. I recently applied to college and got rejected from most of the schools I applied to despite my high stats. The decision have been coming out in the last few weeks and it's taken a huge toll on me mentally. Needless to say, I'm confused, frustrated, and sad. Despite this, my school work doesn't stop and today I had more than usual. My mom asked me to stop at Trader Joes on my way home from school (it's right next to my school but school traffic sucks). I told her that I was too busy and couldn't do it. She said she would have my brother, who's home from college on break and does nothing all day, go instead. Now, seemingly out of nowhere, she starts screaming at me for not going. She called me a bitch (she never swears). I don't know if I am being unreasonable or if she is. Obviously this is biased bc it's from my perspective but I've been feeling like shit for the last few weeks so maybe it's making me an act like an asshole. Also, any advice for how to reconcile?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
Kl86CWeJziMhuxA2CMtyNShfl3etHl2v
|
9uk845
|
{
"description": "not wanting my brother's girlfriend included in everything and getting upset he's now taking her on our trip and telling me I can't go",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not wanting my brother’s girlfriend included in everything and getting upset he’s now taking her on our trip and telling me I can’t go?
|
My brother has been seeing a girl for close to a year now. He really loves her and is planning to propose but I’m still getting used to her as a person. For me, she’s very overwhelming and somewhat difficult to tolerate (she’s loud, interrupts a lot, always needs to add her opinion instead of just listening.)
Every year we have a family Christmas dinner. Just my parents, brother and me. Even if we are in our own relationships, it’s always only the 4 of us. My parents said we “have to” invite her this year. Despite the fact that she’s already spending Thanksgiving with us and inviting her brother and his girlfriend (who we’ve never met).
On top of this, my brother and I were planning on going to Disney World next year. We were supposed to go this year but couldn’t because of work. Last week he said to me, “Hey I know you wanted to come but I’m taking the girlfriend instead.” My brother is my best friend. We’re immigrants and only really had each other as kids, so to be pushed aside hurts.
Am I the asshole for getting frustrated? I don’t consider her family so I don’t understand now why she has to go to ALL our family holiday celebrations and how it’s ok for my brother to now take her on vacation and I have to stay behind. It sucks.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
eXV2kP2sx4tMq9SwSGPcgtPoifz1zbHs
|
b91b0f
|
{
"description": "not replying to him",
"pronormative_score": 21,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not replying to him?
|
In september, there was a new guy in my class in college. He looked kinda lost, so I befriended him, against the judgement of one of my friends. I made it VERY clear that i'm not interested in men since the beginning of me knowing him, and he "gets it, totally" but he keeps flirting with me and most of my single female friends. He asked my friend for sexual favours once "as a joke" but its made our friendship strained. Most of the time he's really nice, but one on one, it's just really uncomfortable. He makes sexually suggestive jokes about me, and insists on hugging me when we leave, which i'm not comfortable with, I don't hug hardly any of my other friends, and even then only after years of knowing them. He also made out with one of my friends without asking her when she didn't want to, at a party. He was sober and she was not. **In short, he is overly sexual with me, but not in a way that i can call him out on for an specific instance. I have not reciprocated any of his advances**
I'm on holiday at the moment, and told all of my friends that i will not be texting anyone during this time (this isn't unusual, i like my space to decompress). But he was REALLY insistent that i "have to text him" or he'll worry. i said that i wouldnt and he tried to pressure me into texting him more. i really felt dodgy about how he was speaking to me, so i left. He has now texted me asking how I am (he instigates all the texts), and I haven't responded. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 21,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 21,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
4frviTFeqrr52ipmYzuZoHI0RSvRLCVa
|
afzqw1
|
{
"description": "getting mad at my older siblings for making me take care of taxes, bills, and everything for our parents",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting mad at my older siblings for making me take care of taxes, bills, and everything for our parents?
|
My parents are pretty bad at English and clueless when it comes to taxes and stuff. They speak Korean but I’m shit at Korean. I’m ADHD so I can’t stay focused and get frustrated really easily when learning languages. (My siblings always say this is just an excuse)
But the bulk of the matter is that I’m always asked to take care of taxes and bills and insurance problems like that since middle school since I’m deemed the “responsible” one.
For example, when my younger sister had panic attacks and anxiety and needed a therapist, I did the bulk of the research and convincing my parents that mental illness wasn’t a call for attention. I was 14 and my younger sister was even blaming me for her anxiety in front of family and friends. When she was in high school with me, I always got called down to the office in regards to my little sister instead of my parents.
The thing is my older sister was 20 and home from college for a gap year and only helped with calming my parents down, not helping me get our little sister help.
Even now, when I’m away at college, I’m expected to take care of my younger sister instead of myself. My younger sister is now able to take care herself and expresses that but my parents don’t believe either of us.
And today, my dad told my brother (21) and older sister (24) he needs my help with the state tax amnesty program because my dad thinks the state made the mistake. The deadline is tomorrow and he tells this as my older sister is going to work and my brothers going out to get his haircut. So of course, they tell me to do it.
Well, I’m on the phone with the Tax Amnesty thing and I’m told I’m not allowed to call for my father because I’m not his lawyer. My dad then gets stressed and yells at me and the poor state worker. He told my older sister and me that his CPA told him not to pay the tax. (I have a feeling this is illegal???). He won’t even listen to me when I say we can dispute the tax or listen to me to let me talk to the CPA and explain the situation. My dad doesn’t even understand the situation because he doesn’t speak English well. He yells at everyone when he’s stressed and says he’s not yelling.
Well the thing is, I can’t handle the stress right now and I made it clear several times. Last month, I was hospitalized 3 times: once for a concussion, again for an overdose (I accidentally took too many meds while concussed), and again for serotonin syndrome. As a result, I have permanent muscle spasms and I cannot take ANY of my PTSD and anxiety medications for a couple months because I still have symptoms and it may set off another episodes.. Not only that but I had to take a medical leave of absence from college last semester so I’m kinda stressed about going back to school.
I’m honestly more upset at my older siblings, who are supposed to be the adult. They always leave the formal stuff to me even when they’re home. (My older sister lives at home.) I just graduated high school 6 months ago. I feel like they should do this stuff more and because they don’t have as much of a language barrier (Older sister grew up in Korea for a bit) my dad doesn’t yell at them and act like they’re making the problem worse. I don’t even get an apology.
I expressed my feelings earlier to my older sister and that it’s not fair that I’m asked to do these things right now because I can’t even take my anxiety meds. She should’ve asked my brother. My older sister said it’s unfair for me to say that because “I had to help with stuff at your age too. You’re considered an adult now too.” and “I also dealt with anxiety when he and mom asked me for help.”
But the thing is, she didn’t go to therapy regularly or get medicated. Plus I had to deal with more serious issues than she did and at a younger age on top of that.
I guess I cut my older brother more slack too because he’s only two years older than me and he’s busy at college and he also took care of me last month when I was in the hospital.
I understand that my parents take care of me and my older sister is trying to get her life together but AITA for wishing I didn’t have to act like the adult so much? To be honest, I’m not sure if I’m just being a snowflake.
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AITA NOW EVERYBODY KNOWS I'M A LESBIAN
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​
**I really would love to hear your opinion about my issue. Also, Im very sorry if there are any spelling mistakes, feel free to let me know.**
​
In summary ,one of my "dearest" friends has told people that I am a lesbian .
​
Listen , I know there's nothing wrong with being LGBTQ, but besides two members of my family and her , no one else knew. Besides , when I told her bout it , I was very clear about the fact that it was a very important secret to me.
I found out she had told some people , when some days ago, I took the courage to come out to one friend and she says,"I already knew". First, I got confused . It is that obvious ? , so I asked her how she found out .She said that A FUCKING YEAR AGO my "friend" told her and other six people , including , of course , *that girl* ( She is known to be the "gossip girl" at our school). Then Gossip hoe decided to force me out of the closet, without me knowing it, of course. My entire class knows my secret ,so it has reached my teacher . My mom knows and teacher are. close friends. I think we can all make the connection . The reason why Im here is because I was so mad at her that I wrote a letter telling her that our friendship was over,and basically to never contact me again. My friends had been telling me that is not such a big deal , and that I should get over it , because me ignoring her is hurting her feelings and that now, because of my rudeness, she is depressed.
Am I being selfish? , I mean , I guessed that in a weird way they are right when saying that she helped me to come out. But still, I feel betrayed. I just wanna know, **Am I the asshole?**
​
(If you need more details to judge me properly , please ask.)
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"description": "telling my roommates if we have an after party for organization I specifically want to exclude one individual",
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AITA telling my roommates if we have an after party for organization I specifically want to exclude one individual?
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I’m gonna try to keep it short. There’s this girl who implied I sexually assaulted her friend, she said she doesn’t feel safe around me and I broke her trust but she’s not “accusing me” but said she doesn’t know if I touched her friend or not. Anyways, drama happened, witnesses were there and I’ve explained this story before. It was false and it happened to be right after she was caught cheating on her boyfriend.
So one of my roommates and his girlfriend took her side because both girls were friends. They’re friends. My other roommate and his girlfriend don’t give a fuck and they trust me more and know I didn’t do it because I was with them.
Anyways, we’re having a huge event and usually we throw parties at our house afterwards because we have the biggest place. However, I don’t want to invite this girl over, I want to tell my roommates that if we have a party I do not want her to come. I’m scared it’s a douchey thing cuz I feel like everyone would hate me and wonder why and then she’d make up some excuse.
But I can’t trust a girl at my house drinking if she’s willing to make accusations and cause drama for me because she doesn’t want to look like a cheater.
I’m thinking if that’s too fucked up I’ll tell her to pay me $100. I just feel like an asshole excluding people but she didn’t suffer any consequences and I do feel narcissistic in the sense I think this would let her know that what she did isn’t ok.
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{
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|
AITA for being mad at my girlfriend for using my instagram account to unfollow her ex-bestfriend?
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Long story short, me and my girlfriend had been together for about 5 years and we have been sharing all social media accounts with each other (since we basically trust each other).
However, about 6 months ago, she and her best friend kinda fall apart and a lot of drama happened between the 2 of them since then. So finally today, she decided that it was the last straw as she went to both of our instagram accounts and unfollow her ex-best friend.
AITA for being mad at her since i do not want to be dragged into the drama between the 2 of them as her ex-bestfriend might spread rumors/start drama about me as well? (Cause she got really mad at me when I protested about unfollowing)
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HISTORICAL
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"description": "being upset that I got woken up",
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AITA for being upset that I got woken up?
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It was Saturday night around 8:30 pm and I was in bed trying to sleep. The last few days had been jam packed with our kids’ sporting events and my body and brain were just done! The husband is next to me in bed watching his phone with headphones. Just when I’m finally drifting off, he gets a phone call, and takes the call, in bed, sitting right next to me. He has a naturally loud voice, and is not holding anything back! It was so loud that it startled me. My heart started beating super fast and I sighed out a “shhhhh” in hopes that he just didn’t realize how loud he was. He proceeded to talk louder and continues the phone call in bed. He was on the phone for a good 15 minutes with absolute no regard for me while I was sleeping.
Once he hung up, I expressed to him how rude and inconsiderate it was that he didn’t take the call in another room or at least lower his voice. He laughed and blatantly said “I do not care”. He said it was only 9 pm on a Saturday night and to get over it. He got shitty with me for the “shhhh”.
Am I being irrational/unreasonable? Is it normal to go about normal activities while someone is sleeping? I grew up with my dad working nights and slept during the day - we were always very aware and tried our hardest not to disturb him or anyone while they were sleeping. Looking forward to comments/suggestions! Thanks!
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"description": "never wanting to date any girl who claims to be \"bisexual\"",
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"contranormative_score": 5
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|
AITA for never wanting to date any girl who claims to be "bisexual"?
|
_I literally just discovered this website and I wanted to get a verdict, and want to at least TRY to get feedback. But I also know how Reddit in general works. I've tried /r/changemyview before. But I'll try this right now..._
Long story short, I am not successful with women. It is mostly because I am short, an ugly looking dude, dark-skinned, and a little overweight and out of shape. I don't go for girls by looks, nor do I ever try to "get tens." In fact, my physical type are girls a lot of men dislike (BBW's). Of the few women that have ever tried to talk to me in some way, they were _all_ 100% girls who were not-straight.
I am straight; 100% heterosexual. I'm also 100% a "CIS" man. And I have ZERO interest in being with a lesbian. I am simply not attracted to "queer" women. Even among straight women, there are things that she could say that would make me uninterested. Like if a girl has a strong desire to be with tall men and me being a mere 180 cm, it would annoy me and make me lose all interest in her. If a non-straight girl tries to claim to show interest in me, it just legit pisses me the fuck off. Like, I'm feminine to her or something? I don't come off straight? I don't come off masculine to her?
And yeah, I know. MOST guys are into lesbians and queer women. I however, am not, at all. I don't want to have any romantic interactions with a woman whose heart is set on being with another woman or just feminine people in general. If you're a lesbian or "queer," I don't hold it against you, but I don't have any interest in ever dating you. So it pisses me off if a girl who enjoys sleeping with and being with girls essentially doubts my manhood or masculinity by implying "Yeah, you'd make a good partner for me," of course it's gonna piss me off and I wouldn't want to be with her.
As I said though, it's literally the only time girls have ever implied an interest of "being" with me. And I'm not going to pretend to understand how people want to be "sexually fluid" or whatever you want to call it as I'm as hetero-vanilla as they come. I'm barely even into tomboys. But no, I don't want to be with someone who is turned on by femininity and women, even if a LOT of guys (especially trans people) are into those kinds of relationships. It actually annoys me more that the only women who've ever implied "liking" me where women who really want to be with women.
In fact, I even had a new friend I met recently. I thought there might have been real chemistry there. But as it turns out, she's into women. Her last "partner" was male, but he was also pretty flamboyant and feminine (as expected). We were talking casually and this organically came up, and I confided to her how I don't understand how every girl that's ever shown interest in me has been gay or on that side of the (as they call it) "spectrum." That's when the friend revealed to me her partner before the last one being female. And from there, it killed any interest I might have had in pursuing something further. This conversation was about five weeks ago, and I really hadn't talked to her since (though she may not have wanted to talk to me either).
So to recap, I have zero interest in being with non-straight women, or lesbians, or "queer" women. I only want someone who's going to desire _me_ and think of me as being masculine and straight, because I am. Keep in mind, I _should be allowed_ to date or be attracted to whoever I want to be, and would not ever try to attack any gay person for "not being straight" or such. But when the issue is in reverse, or even involves a straight male not being attracted to a transwoman, people always get vitriolic and rude with it, because you're only "supposed" to support the LGBT side of these issues in their minds in such. But no, I'm not attracted to those types of non-straight women, even if they think of me as being feminine enough to try to hit on and be with.
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{
"description": "asking a tell a black girl I like her afro hairstyle better",
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|
AITA for asking a tell a black girl I like her afro hairstyle better?
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There's this girl who always sits beside me in in our British literature class and we get a long really well. Her hair is different like every day. Sometimes her hair is in corn rows, sometimes it's in short braids, sometimes it's long and straight and sometimes it's in afro. I really don't understand how she is able to change it so often but I think it's cool. I didn't really grow up around a lot of black people but from the little I know I assume straight black long hair is a wig or weave. Yesterday she came to class with this kind of cool style that was braided on top and then the braids led into a afro and there were really colorful beads all over her hair (I know I'm shit at describing this) I thought it looked really nice so when we were discussing the reading I told her I liked her hair (I've told her this before) She said thanks and smiled.
​
I then said her hair always looks great but I like this style the best and prefer it to the wigs. She was silent for a few seconds and then said "no offence but I really don't care about a white guy's opinion about my hair."
​
I just totally did not expect that response. I wasn't even I wasn't trying to be rude or act like my opinion matters but I thought it was a good thing to tell a back girl you prefer her natural hair. Like it was a compliment. I kinda feel dumb because I wanted to ask her out.
​
AITA?
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HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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"description": "being angry at my ex for dating somebody to soon",
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AITA For being angry at my ex for dating somebody to soon?
|
My ex broke up with me about 3 months ago and she’s already dating someone. She broke up with me the day I learned my grandma had passed away, we had been dating for almost 3 years and it really came out of nowhere. Now 3 months later already she has started a relationship. I know that she shouldn’t make decisions based on how it would effect me anymore but after breaking my heart one time I feel like she would have not tried to do again. I know everyone deals with things differently but I’m just so angry and feel like she handled this poorly am I wrong?
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{
"description": "wanting neighbours dogs to be put down/euthanized",
"pronormative_score": 12,
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AITA for wanting neighbours dogs to be put down/euthanized?
|
TL;DR at the end
Last month my uncle went to a neighbour to discuss an issue regarding the joint piping on their respective properties.
So they way her propery is structured; first you have a small gate to get into the front yard and then you're able to ring the door bell of her property. It isn't a huge gate; just like a small fence door you could basically step over.
My uncle first called from outside of the fence gate because he saw an open window, but when he got no answer he went in to ring her door bell. After ringing her doorbell he heard some barking inside the house (which was a surprise to him, he never knew she had two GIANTIC dogs) and out of nowhere they came around the house and attacked him.
His calve was bitten of, his arm was chewed into, when he fell on the ground one bit into his neck and the basically kept biting at him while he screamed and crawled out of the property, all this time no one came from inside the house to call the dogs off, regardless of his screams.
A car passing by noticed, man stepped out, threw large stones at the dogs (wounding one, but not very severely) and dragged my uncle out the property into his car and drove him to the hospital (my uncle was already passed out at this point).
He had surgery for 10 hours and it will be 6 months till he can walk again.
So the police says that pressing charges basically means the dogs will be euthanized and that's it.
My uncle (dog-lover), who did rather not want to see the dogs killed for something that's in their nature, called the lady afterwards to solve it without police involved. She had no idea all of this happened at her house even though she claimed to be home, thought the blood on her property was from their steaks and my uncle was lying. She wasn't at all friendly or understanding, and wouldn't try to solve anything with him. She blamed him for coming onto her property, and that it was his own fault for being attacked (Police disagrees).
So now the family is torn between pressing charges or not. There is no way to relocate the dogs safely somewhere else, so pressing charges means they get killed (Even though the fault lies with the bad owner, and not the dogs).
My uncle and the rest think that they don't want to press charges, but I am basically the only one who disagrees. These dogs are dangerous and he could've died. I believe they have to be put down so no one else gets harmed by them.
The rest of my family thinks I am heartless and cruel for saying such a thing. Trust me if there was another option I really would't want them dead either, but this seems the only option.
Everybody seems mad and disappointed in me for blaming the dogs and wanting them dead, and I think they're crazy for defending the dogs behaviour.
AITA?
TL;DR uncle almost dies from getting attacked by neighbours aggressive dogs, pressing charges means dogs get euthanized.
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AITA for not wanting to do the dishes?
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This is probably going to be one of most boring posts on this sub, so I'll try to keep it short even though I am so mad I could write a book.
I live with my parents and my older brother (he is 29 and I am 21(f)). The thing is because he has a job and I don't(even though I'm trying to find one) my family expects me to do all the chores in the house and my brother doesn't have to do anything. I understand this but I look at it as me being considerate with him and not as an obligation. He doesn't help with money either, but I get that he gets tired from work and if I'm not doing anything at the moment, I can do all the chores by myself. But he had two days off, and today I told him that he should do the dishes and that resulted with him screaming at me saying that I should do it because I don't have a job and that I do nothing all day, that I should never ask for a favor from him again and even prohibited me from using his ps4. I feel like I'm not the asshole but my family makes me feel like I am. My mother even said to me that I have become unbearable to live with just for this.
AITA? is it really my obligation to do all the chores by myself even on the days he is not working?
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|
AITA for changing who I sit with and ditching my friend?
|
This actually happened awhile ago but something happened yesterday which is causing me to think about it all over again.
So when I first joined high school I struggled to make friends as well as losing almost all the ones I had from middle school (nothing happened we all just drifted apart) because of this I became incredibly socially awkward and I lost all my confidence.
Half way through year 8 I started sitting with a new group of people. 1 of them was one of my closest friends from middle school (I’ll call them Y) but apart from that I didn’t really know any of them. I sat with these people through out year 8 and 9 and never became close with any of them, apart from one, and even drifted apart from Y.
This one person, I’ll call them X, was the only person there who I really liked, we spoke a lot and became pretty close friends. I went to a pretty dark place because of the fact I felt really lonely as all I had left was 1 friend. And honestly if it wasn’t for X I don’t think I’d still be here today.
X and I where in a similar situation of the fact that we didn’t really know / like the people we were sitting with but the thing is X stayed because I was there and I stayed because I had no where else to go. X had another group of friends who they were really close with but still sat with me at break and lunch.
Then year 10 happened. In the UK when you reach year 10 you get to pick what subjects you want to study and so all your class change. One of the subjects I choose was history, in this class was Y and 2 other people I knew from my year 9 PE class. I was sat next to Y and because of this we became close again. Both of us also became friends with the 2 other people.
About half way through year 10 I told both X and Y, at different times, about how I didn’t like where we were sitting and how it was causing my mental health to deteriorate. X said we could always move to sit with their friends but the thing is their other friends really annoyed me (they seem like nice people but I just find them irritating). Y told me they felt the same at that they only really like 1 of the people we were sitting with. Y also told me that they were thinking of asking the people from our history class if they could sit with them and asked if I wanted to go to.
I decided to go with Y’s plan and I’m so glad I did because now I sit with 3 people I love with all my heart and my mental health is a lot better and in the half a year I’ve now been sitting with them I’ve built a lot of my confidence back up.
X went to sit with their friends shortly after I moved and I felt bad because I literally just ditched them. I leant on them for support and friendship and then the moment I had the chance I moved away.
When I first moved I tried to keep talking to them but the inevitable happened and we drifted apart.
Yesterday they sent me a letter saying that they were upset that we fell apart and that they were partly to blame. I quickly sent them a message saying they had no blame what so ever and it was all my fault.
But the thing is last night was the first time I really thought about that decision. I knew at the time of moving that if I was to move I’d almost certainly lose X as a friend and so it cost me basically everything but I went through with it.
I don’t think I regret it because my mental health is so much better now.
I know I’m the asshole here so I guess what my question really is, is my shitty selfish decision justified because of the fact that I’m so much happier now?
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|
AITA for seeing my grandma differently?
|
Recently i became old enough i guess to hear the family “gossip” and the more i can take in and understand how much i dislike my grandma she isnt like 90 shes in her 50’s but shes super manipulative and wont do stuff back like when my parent bring food or make desserts for ALL the parties she wont even watch the kids which they only ask when they really need to and ive heard her call other people lazy or selfish when she does the same things or worse like my bro had a birthday party and was playing with a loud flywheel gun and she almost had my uncle whoop him when my mom wasnt even there and she also interrupts alot in conversation and if i eavesdrop she talks shit about her own kids to her other kids behind theyre back and she rotates where shell talk shit on someone then talk to then about someone else she already talked to but im not sure id like some insight as to if i need a reality check or not
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"description": "asking for a discount on my scooter",
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WIBTA If I ask for a discount on my scooter?
|
So, on February the 15th I bought a new scooter. They didn't have it at the shop, so they had to order it from the supplier and then I could pick it up the next week. I said that it was no problem, I know the type I bought already, so I paid them 1700€.
Few days go by and I get a phone call that the supplier didn't have the colour I wanted (black). And if I wanted that colour, that it would take a month before it arrived from the manufacturer. I was a bit disappointed, but really wanted a black one so I agreed.
5 weeks later i went to the dealership and asked for an update about my scooter. "Yeah, something went wrong at the supplier and it will take another month before we can order it." Wich means I will have it by the end of April, beginning of May.
So this time I'm very disappointed and a bit sad because now I have to go another month with public transportation to my work, which cost me 5 times more than it would by scooter. But because I'm not great at confrontations I just said "oke" and left.
WIBTA, if I would go back and ask for some kind of compensation or discount, because they don't deliver what they said?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "making a joke about my cousin taking a snow day",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for making a joke about my cousin taking a snow day?
|
Backstory: I used to live in the same area as my cousin. It’s fondly known as the Hawaii of Canada and the city shuts down when it snows (general unpreparedness all around). I moved to one of the coldest and snowiest provinces of the country. For 5 years I experienced a true Canadian winter. It sucked but it’s the reality of life for so many. I then moved to a smaller city near my hometown that still experiences winter - but not to the degree of the previous province. We are actually in the polar vortex and it’s been -10 to -30C here with a fair amount of snow (a bit unusual but that’s life).
So here’s the story:
My cousin (along with half of my Facebook who lives in my hometown), posted about the snow. These range from dramatic complaints to posts of people enjoying the snow. My cousin took a photo of her car covered in about 2-3 inches of snow and captioned: “has anyone seen my car??? Gunna call it a snow day!”. A few hours later she posted a picture of her and her son playing in the snow.
While scrolling through my Facebook, I “loved” the photo she posted of her son and “haha-ed” the snow day post. A friend of hers commented “get to work *name*” and she “haha-Ed” this reply. I also commented on her photo: “As a once *oldwintercityperson* this makes me laugh! Snow day? For a light dusting and sweater weather 😜😜😜. Enjoy the day!!! ❄️⛄️❄️”.
Well, apparently I’m a huge asshole because this comment made her cry and she called her mom and sister (referred to later as other cousin) who have since messaged and called me multiple times to let me know what I said was cruel and insensitive. They want me to apologize. They told me I need to be more understanding since winter is very hard for this city and I shouldn’t be mean. That this city has hills which makes driving in the snow harder. I responded by saying that what I said was a light joke and I genuinely meant her to enjoy her day off. I also said that it’s untrue that winter is harder there. I live in a city built on mountainsides a few hours away which also receives the same wet snow. It’s icy and slippery here too, yet we manage. But I wasn’t speaking out of malice for her not wanting to drive in the snow, I was teasing. I also reiterated that I won’t apologize, and if she is so upset she can talk to me directly. My other cousin then went on to say that my post was like a terminal cancer patient telling her that her MS is not bad in comparison. I responded with “fullstop. This is about snow not medical conditions. This was a light joke poking fun about her reaction to snow and filled with genuine well wishes for her and her son to enjoy the day. If that makes me a jerk, so be it. Tell her to delete me, I’m done discussing this.” The response, “k.”
So Reddit, am I the asshole?
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "wanting to move out of my parents house",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to move out of my parents house?
|
Sorry for formatting, mobile is tricky.
I 14m am the oldest of 4 kids, and have asked my parents to move in with my aunt in a town 15 minutes away. My father recently has been fired from hus job for some BS (crashed his company truck, Pennsylvania fire at will law). This has sent him into a depressed, alchoholic state for the last few months. He has had a lot of anger built up and often insults me, demeans me and overall kills my self confidence. It doesnt normally become physical but has, nothing too serious. This doesnt happen to any of my other siblings, so I am not concerned for their safety if I leave becuase they are all too young for him to hurt emotionally or physically. The final straw was last weekend when he left the house at midnight at 10 o'clock to surorise my mom at work while he was hammered while my cousin was with me. I tried to stop him and he told me that he didnt love me and that i am an asshole, my cousin saw this and my aunt offered to take me in. This would help also because I would transfer schools, which is great because I have approximately 0 friends.
So AITA for wanting to move in with my aunt?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "still attempting to be professional despite being blocked",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for still attempting to be professional despite being blocked?
|
So quick backstory: I (21F) am a dancer, and I currently work in a dance studio. For the past six months I've been dealing with my former dance coach (28M), who initiated a physical relationship two weeks after he was no longer officially my coach, and unsurprisingly the relationship ended poorly. We made it clear that we were not going to be friends anymore or associate in any way.
However, we still have to see each other all the time because we operate in the same professional spaces. He's a coach, I work at the front desk of his studio, so he has to pay me every time he has a lesson, and he and his girlfriend/partner have to sign in whenever I'm here. He has repeatedly expressed what I personally viewed as an overt lack of professionalism: when I would contact him with a professional request he wouldn't respond, he would interfere with my search for a dance partner, he would ignore procedures at the studio because it meant he would have to approach the front desk, he would wait until I was no longer on shift to pay, or if I didn't leave eventually and worked until closing then he would throw the money at me and walk out. If I was simply practicing in the studio and his practice bag was in my vicinity he wouldn't approach it until I got up to do something.
To be fair, he made it clear that he didn't want to be contacted, but sometimes my job necessitated it, and sometimes I just wanted the awkward tension to end.
I sent him a text requesting more professionalism, he said my presence in his life was negative for his mental health. He blocked my number and then my Facebook page. I sent him this message: "I don't quite know what I've done to warrant this, because we haven't spoken in months and I have sent you two (2) texts in that amount of time, but if you are as uncomfortable with my presence as you seem to be I can stop practicing as \[dance studio name\] and quit my job there. All I have ever requested is a basic level of respect -- I felt that at least I had the courtesy to explain why and when I blocked you when I did. That is all I'm asking of you, and I don't think I'm asking too much. I do hope you're doing well, regardless."
Am I the asshole for sending the above message, and for still attempting to remedy the conflict and be professional?
​
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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ba8g7g
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{
"description": "telling my girlfriend to stop yelling",
"pronormative_score": 18,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for telling my girlfriend to stop yelling?
|
Let me start off saying this. I love my girlfriend. We have a great relationship and are perfect for each other. The one beef a have though, is that’s she doesn’t have an inside voice. She’s is a loud person and always talking really loud. I always have to say “shhh your yelling” even if we are 2 feet. She then will quite down and use a normal level voice for probably a minute and then go back to yelling. Well yesterday after telling her for the tenth time to please quite down she told me to stop saying that because she hates when I say it. It makes her feel like I don’t like her and she just can’t help being loud that’s how she is.
Am I the asshole for asking her to not yell?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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NOBODY
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RIGHT
|
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affemq
|
{
"description": "finally telling my friend I can't pretend to be happy for them and their boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for finally telling my friend I can’t pretend to be happy for them and their boyfriend
|
To clarify some things quickly; My friend goes by they/them and this is not a “I have feelings for one of them so I can’t be happy” kind of deal, their “boyfriend” is just.. awful.
I know friends are supposed to be supportive and there for you so maybe I didn’t approach it right but there’s just so much with this guy and hearing my friend moon over him after an earlier interaction in which we were both discussing nasty comments he made towards our underage friend is just. Jarring. And I finally admitted it was bothering me.
For context as to why I don’t like my friends boyfriend;
- Boyfriend was 26 when they first met and basically groomed them and had sex with my friend the day they turned 18.
-Boyfriend constantly makes nasty lewd comments about our underage 16 year old friend. Like really nasty shit asking my friend if a threesome is ever going to happen and basically sexualizing younger friend everytime they see them online.
-Boyfriend has constantly moved friend to tears, calling them ugly or being outright mean for no reason, one time my younger friend and I came over only to find friend in tears over their boyfriend comparing them to a clown. One time their boyfriend “broke up” with them and claimed he was going to get married just to hurt my friend.!
-Boyfriend insults their fashion sense constantly, making them insecure and weary about what they wear, they almost give up Jfashion hobby because of it.
-Boyfriend is transphobic and does not respect my friend or their identity, he calls them a she all the time and doesn’t bother trying to correct himself. He’s also racist as shit, that’s not an assumption my friend literally told me he said he “doesn’t like “N*gge*s”
-Boyfriend has borrowed money and hasn’t payed my friend back, like 200+ plus, makes excuses to not pay it back constantly.
-Boyfriend has bluntly told my friend if he accidentally got them pregnant he would dip and go “back to Mexico”
Stuff like that and it’s all been building up. My friend has a history negative mental issues so I didn’t feel right telling them to break it off, and nowadays I mostly just respond as fake positively as I can to their excited text messages about the guy because they deserve to be happy, and I can’t put a hamper on that. They’ve told me constantly how this guy is their favorite person.
It’s always lowkey irritated and upset me with how much they make excuses for him, and that they rub it off with out regard when their boyfriend is being an asshole to them or being creepy about their friends. I understand my friend was basically groomed but I couldn’t hold my tongue today.
And so earlier today my friend shows me screenshots of their boyfriend sexualizing our underage friend with the caption “eugh he’s so gross”
The picture in question being sexualized was a picture of underage friend eating a pickle innocently and he, a 27 year old fucking man felt he needed to make a comment. Both my friend and I discussed it with disgust and they were all like “eugh he’s so nasty” and then now, several hours later they send me a barrage of messages about how they’re going to an expensive date with their boyfriend and bought a new dress and all this stuff for him and I couldn’t bottle it up and responded;
“*name* this is the same guy who made inappropriate comments about *young friend* earlier and I really don’t feel comfortable pretending to be happy for you atm”
And they responded with a simple “oh ok” and deleted all their messages about him. I feel kinda bad and that I was really blunt, I don’t want to hurt their feelings but it just makes me uncomfortable at this point, knowing the things he’s done, which may I add is all things my friend has TOLD ME, I don’t have the energy to find reasons to not like their boyfriend, they constantly complain to me when their boyfriend does this shitty stuff like making nasty comments (along with all the things I listed) and then hours later they send me some lovey dovey stuff about him and While I usually go along, this time I couldn’t pretend to be happy for them.
Please give me feedback, I just, I’m kind of confused and worried I put a dent in our friendship.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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a7fsnj
|
{
"description": "calling my friend an idiot for not knowing basic geography",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for calling my friend an idiot for not knowing basic geography?
|
In my school, we had a classwork assigned to us by the social studies teacher. For this assignment, we had to shade in countries that had people who immigrated to the U.S. And my friend kept pestering me about what countries he had to shade in. Keep in mind that these weren't tiny countries or countries that most Americans don't know of. These were great powers and popular tourist countries like Russia, France, Germany, Italy, and Spain. I understood why my friend couldn't find Belgium and Austria, but I couldn't comprehend why my friend couldn't find these countries. Eventually, I got tired of him asking me for help (We sit diagonally from each other. I was getting tired of getting up, sitting back down, and then repeat. ) So I called him an idiot. He didn't seem to really care and I did help him afterwards. But I want to know if I was in the wrong for calling him an idiot.
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
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|
b96ax3
|
{
"description": "being mean to someone who owes me a lot of money",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for being mean to someone who owes me a lot of money?
|
I'm a junior in high school who's not allowed to get a job right now, so money is tight for me. I'm going to try to get my temporary license in the summer, but in order to do that, I have to pay for half of my driving school, as my parents will only pay half. So when I have an opportunity to make money (which is rare), I take it.
Cut to about three weeks ago. I brought my Switch into school and was playing Super Smash Bros. Ultimate with some free time, when this jerk in my class makes a bet. 100$ on the line. I accepted it because I really wanted the money. I then proceed to win.
Now... I still haven't gotten it. I understand it takes people my age a little bit of time to get that amount of money, but this guy has the latest iPhone, Air Pods, and his dad is a higher up for my school district, so at this point I'm getting upset.
Every day I ask him if he has my money, and almost every time he fakes me out. Like today I asked him if he had my money and he said "yeah," so I asked him to get it for me, to which he replied "yeah about that, I don't actually have it, but I'll get it to you before school is over."
I've called him a couple of mean names, like "liar" or "asshole" in class. I've had problems with him before which is why I'm being more mean than I normally am to peoppe. I know at the end of the day it's really not a big deal but I really need that money. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
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|
b7dorj
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{
"description": "quitting my job",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I quit my job
|
I (22M) have been at my current job for about 9 months. Part of my job is spent in an office, and part of it is spent in our emergency department. I love working in the emergency department but over the course of working here my job satisfaction has gone way down, to the point of dreading going to work & praying I'd get T-boned on the way there.
Yesterday, my boss spoke to me in a manner that was pretty derogatory but not entirely undeserved, and I informed her that I'd no longer be accepting shifts in the office as of next week, though indicated I'd be happy to continue work in the emergency department.
My boss wants to have a meeting between her, my boss in the emergency department and myself, and I've indicated I'm happy to attend.
I'm currently compiling a list of things that would make my work conditions more tolerable but would ideally only want to work in the ED.
If my requests are rejected (I've heard suggestions they don't want staff only working in one department), WIBTA for quitting no-notice (per my contract this is fine)?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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a442sn
|
{
"description": "wanting to break up with my bf after he told me he wanted to spend holidays with his family and friends",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for wanting to break up with my bf after he told me he wanted to spend holidays with his family and friends
|
Okay, so I am currently in uni, away from home, And my family can’t afford to buy tickets for me to go home on holidays. And my bf knows it, but today he told me how excited he was because his friends asked him to go to the bar together after midnight on 1th January(New Year Eve is more like Christmas in my country). And I KNOW I should be happy for him, because he misses them and he spends all his time with me because we live together. But we don’t ever go out, I asked him many times to go to a movie or anywhere else, he promises but then there is always something more important than that.
So I am like.... bored. And I just don’t fucking want to spend New Year Eve alone AGAIN because he did the same last year.
I know he doesn’t owe me anything and it’s totally my fault I haven’t made friends, but I am a CS student and have like zero time. Although I tried but everyone is too busy to have friends too, so it didn’t worked out.
I don’t even know what I expect from him. But I’m just thinking how fun it would be to have someone to go out with and not just be a sex toy and a cook. I see he cares for me, but Am I The Asshole to think what he does is just not enough?
P. S. Kinda know I am, but would like to hear it from someone else.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
jsGVY5p6wYlmt3H58CPtpz3jzVDY9f0b
|
9ys24s
|
{
"description": "telling my best friends boyfriend about her cheating",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for telling my best friends boyfriend about her cheating?
|
Bit of a long one here but bear with me. So this happened about 2 months ago and I have opinions from my friends but I wanted other peoples’ opinions on the matter. Over the summer my friend was at her annual army training for a month, away from her boyfriend, this has never been a problem for them because it would be her second time doing this while they were together, not to mention her leaving once a month to go on drill. Anyway she comes back and they begin having some relationship problems, mostly about what they want to do with their lives, I should also point out he is nearly 4 years older than her (almost 25 now). He has his life set and a career in front of him and she wants a career in the army which could send her basically anywhere in the world.
Fast forward a couple weeks and they “break up” for the first time, so to take her mind off of it we decided to go out with a group of friends for some drinks, she planned to sleep on the couch at my house and her boyfriend did not like that fact (I am a guy and he has never been a fan of me). So when she left that was when they “broke up”. When we were out and she got some drinks in her it was like she never even was dating him, let alone the fact that they were together not hours earlier, but she was just all over any guy that would give her attention, especially other guys in ROTC with her.
This cycle continues a couple more times and one day when I was home over the summer she texted me saying she wanted to hook up with me and that she has wanted to for a while now, she was of course, absolutely wasted, and complaining that her boyfriend doesn’t pay any attention to her like she needs it. I texted her that she is going to regret what she is saying in the morning and she did. Then I get a call from her saying that she had gone home and slept with a bartender from that night and that she didn’t know what to do or how to explain anything to her boyfriend. This is when I tell her she has to be up front with him about it and take whatever he does on the chin or just break up with him.
She opts for neither and decides to not tell him anything for a while. I let it slide because I knew she was trying to figure some stuff out about her future. But then she started hooking up with the lieutenant that was in charge of her at school. For those that don’t know thing about the military this is a BIG no no. this went on for a while and it started to really irritate me because she would be late to meet ups with myself and other friends because she was “busy” with this guy. During this time, her and her boyfriend were going through a rough patch but they weren’t officially broken up yet. Eventually I confronted her about the whole thing and told her she was jeopardizing her future by doing this and a fling when you’re this young isn’t worth risking your career.
She takes my advice and afterwards it seems like she is going to cut things off with her boyfriend officially and just be done… until he came to her house crying one night because he missed her, and she bought the whole thing. I will point out she did tell him she had been talking to other guys during their rough spot but he didn’t care that she had been “talking” to other dudes.
Eventually I hit a breaking point, people had recently been not up front with me about important things and I didn’t think what she was doing to him was at all fair, so I told him, “I know you’re not my biggest fan but I am not one of the guys that she hooked up with”. This of course started a shitstorm of epic proportions, my friend even tried messaging the girl I had recently ended things with asking if she wanted to do “mean shit” to get back at me.
I dint feel bad for what I did because if I were the guy I would want to know the truth about what is going on, plus from my point it was a generally unhealthy relationship on both sides (I really think he is just staying with her because he wants to be engaged with someone in less than a year) so big question, am I the asshole for doing what I did and exposing my best friend to her boyfriend?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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|
ahe60m
|
{
"description": "thinking the \"team building\" lunch at work was free",
"pronormative_score": 39,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for thinking the “team building” lunch at work was free?
|
I (26/F) and my coworkers (various ages and genders) were told by our two bosses to attend a team meeting lunch today. Our bosses have brought up this lunch the past two team meetings, so this has been discussed at minimum, for a month, in addition to having the team decide where to go for lunch. All of us were told to not schedule any appointments to make it to this “team building lunch”, and payment was never discussed. For background, the last 2 company outing/lunch were paid for, where each person was told we have $15 to spend on the company’s dime. My coworkers and i assumed this would be the case again.
My coworkers and I all show up the restaurant on time, and we were all in good spirits, where my boss (60/F) was arriving late. We waited anxiously as we have not heard from her and she is the one with the company card. She arrives, we sit at our reservations, when she suddenly states that we are to all pay individually, and that she doesn’t understand why we would think this was paid for. All of us are in shock, but one of my coworkers became upset and told my boss that she will be leaving this lunch as this was never discussed prior and she attended believing that this was free and required. I and the other coworkers convinced her to calm down and come back, as my boss angrily stated she would rather have my coworker stay and that if it’s an issue she will pay for her.
I’m not condoning my coworker for snapping at our boss, but I am also very confused to why my boss would repeatedly reference this lunch, call it a team building, and not speak out regarding payment until we sat down. This is not the first time my boss made plans and didn’t pitch in her money or time, so it was a buildup of sorts as well.
Were we the assholes to assume this lunch was free and feel upset? This is super petty but I’ve never seen a boss behave this way.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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|
aggs67
|
{
"description": "not responding to an old coworker via messenger despite the fact I have her stuff",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not responding to an old coworker via messenger despite the fact I have her stuff?
|
A year ago, an old coworker of mine let me lend a wool pashmina and a wool hat for a trip I was taking over winter; I tried to return it to her since then a month after but she said she was OK for now and didn’t want it back at that moment. OK, fine.
Around Xmas, I started distancing myself after the coworker and I went Xmas shopping together and the next day she told me I’d be going out with her again (I hadn’t agreed to) - I told her that I didn’t want to because I have an autoimmune disease that was flaring up to which she sent me some messages along the lines of “Oh. I see. No matter then. I guess I’ll just go..... alone” I thought she was kind of crazy; especially after we hung out and she and her wife allowed their 3 year old son to repeatedly hit me (hard) and expect me to babysit - so I just left her be and distanced myself. A few months later my mother died, anyway, so I had a lot going on with that - and then I became pregnant and I’ve had a high risk pregnancy since then; so a lot has been going on.
Skip to this past Thursday I receive a Facebook message that I didn’t read at the time because if I read a message whilst busy I sometimes forget to reply in between a busy social work job / high risk doctor appts and personal life - but it said something about hanging out from what I was able to see. I left it unread.
On Sunday I receive another messenger message saying “do you still have my pashmina and hat???” I do, and I told her this 6 months ago and asked to see her so I could return it - to which she said it was OK right now, maybe later. Again, I left it unread because I’d had a rough weekend / was painful / had worked a very long week and knew I’d have to address the first message too.
Jump to today I receive a text on my phone “I’m sending you messages on Facebook!”
I didn’t reply as now I’m just kind of frustrated. She’s messaged me 3 times in 5 days and I feel it’s a bit excessive. I plan on returning her pashmina and hat and I’ve tried on several occasions already, but AITA for leaving her messages unread for a few more days or should I return this ASAP?! I don’t know if I’m in the wrong here by holding onto her stuff despite her messages?
|
HISTORICAL
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EVERYBODY
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WRONG
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adqbhK442FWAUrIqL8AqIz5COKgvHKaJ
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apd42l
|
{
"description": "asking my gf of 3 years to consider using her inheritance to buy a property",
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"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
WIBTA asking my GF (f27) of 3 years to consider using her inheritance to buy a property.
|
I (m23) have always wanted to leave the city and cultivate my own self sustained property somewhere in the country.
My parents share this view and it would be great for me to give them a place to retire at. After all, they have done SO MUCH for me and everyone else close to them.
My SO and I have been together for over 3 years now and are in a very good and happy relationship. Over that time she has adopted many of my hobbies, which are mainly centered around the outdoors (Besides having always been a city girl) and is very on board with having our own property.
Her grandparents are well into their 90's and reasonably well off. SO's mother mentioned the other day that my SO can expect a healthy inheritance that would be able to cover a good house deposit.
WIBTA for asking her to contribute some of that to a collective deposit despite the fact that her grandparents are very much still alive and a "property" is really my dream?
*Context: we already share expenses that are communal (rent, groceries, Bills, dinners, etc.) . I currently have about 5 times as much as her saved though*
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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WRONG
|
AJZIQVDoYCwDQkJR28lg3r5HuHr5GK5Q
|
9uotbp
|
{
"description": "asking my groupmate about what the plan for our research paper was",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for asking my groupmate about what the plan for our research paper was?
|
So before I get into this, this whole thing happened about a month ago, and me and my friend/groupmate are "cool" with the issue now. I say "cool with it" because we never really resolved it by talking it out, it just kind of went away, but it's been bugging me for the longest time now.
So basically, me and my 2 friends are a group for our research paper, and the first term is reaching its end. I notice that our progress is kind of shitty, so I go ahead and ask one of my friends, what the plan is since I don't want to just decide things by myself. For some reason he becomes visibly frustrated and refuses to answer me, he just ignores me and walks away. I get irritated about this and for the rest of the day we basically ignore each other. For the next few weeks this goes on, until we as a group have a talk where we formulate our plan for the next few weeks. Even though we talk to each other for the sake of the research, the issue still lingered with the tension and whatnot, and only really dissipated about a few weeks later. I looked back on this and decided that I may have just been insensitive, but I don't really know, so AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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5nzBLek99GKeZzCn9tJrVTAMphrvQUjd
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a51ogh
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{
"description": "being miserable at a job I've only been at one day so far",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA if I'm miserable at a job I've only been at one day so far?
|
Obligatory posting this on a throw away account, so here goes.
I was working in a record store, which I absolutely loved. I was only making 11 an hour, but that's pretty good for shitty retail. On top of the fact that I was a loved employee who always showed up on time and did their work right, I had a full-time position. Very rarely did I get less than 40h a week. It wasn't the best, but it wasn't the worst, either. I was happy, had co-workers I loved being around, got to listen to music all day long and generally just have a pretty chill and lax atmosphere to be in.
Now granted, I was absolutely awful at the retail part, but my bosses didn't seem to care. They liked me enough to even offer me an office position at one of the store's parent companies that would boost me up to 14 an hour. Pretty swell, right? That's what everyone else said, proud of me for being considered, hyping it up to be some grand undertaking and a wonderful, exciting beginning to some new chapter in my life. It rubbed off on me. I let their excitement get to me, and I scheduled an interview the very next day, and took the job offer without a second thought the following Monday.
But then it all started to sink in that week. The "my god, what have I done?" I was filled with nothing but dread as the days crawled on. Everyone told me I was being silly. My boyfriend was especially irate, wondering why I'd gone from excited to completely and utterly anti-job position.
Today was my first day, and it didn't suck. It was a cushy desk job with easy enough work that, don't get me wrong, I was super lucky to be offered in the first place. I'm very grateful they considered me for the position.
But I hate it. I'm not built for a desk job. I'm 21 among women in their 40s-60s, who are all absolute sweethearts and the nicest people possible. But I don't fit in. I went from music distracting my thoughts to utter silence, forced to stare at a clock all day and hammer a headache into my brain as I did nothing but tap numbers into a computer.
I cried in the bathroom on my break, I was so miserable, and I just went straight to bed after getting home. My boyfriend is, understandably, still mad and irritated that I'm being so dramatic over the situation. He wants the pay raise, so we can do even better than what we do for our situation. Which I get, I want to be able to take care of us and my family too.
But we were doing okay while I had the last job. We weren't in danger of losing our apartment. I took the bus the mornings I needed to, and didn't have to stress myself out over a Lyft. I really, really enjoyed my quaint little record store job, and I want it back.
But I feel like a pathetic fool and an asshole for not being grateful over something handed to me on a silver platter.
|
HISTORICAL
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a9twu0
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{
"description": "heckling in court to correct the interpreter",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for heckling in court to correct the interpreter?
|
Background: My friend was sexually assaulted last year and the case finally went on trial in November. Many of the people involved in this case are international students whose English is far from perfect. The court did hire an interpreter to help the jury, but at the time, I’m the only other perfectly bilingual person in the courtroom.
The victim testified as a witness, regular drill, then it was the officer who interviewed my friend (the victim), and then it was the other witnesses. The judge asked if they need an interpreter for help, and one by one they said yes. The first two testified smoothly, nothing went wrong. But the third witness started to speak really long sentences and hard technical words when answering questions, and I could see the interpreter starting to stumble. Finally, he made an error, which I considered significant- he misinterpreted “I can’t just say random stuff without knowing” to “I can’t lie to help the case”. Knowing the consequences of contempt of court, I stood up and yelled “your honor, the accurate interpretation would be...” upon finished, I was escorted outside and warned verbally by the court martial.
Obviously it’s not my job to “check” the interpreter, and I feel that I may have jeopardized the case. I felt extremely ashamed, and I still do. I apologized to my friend over and over again but the only thing she said was that I “should’ve been more calm”. She didn’t blame me at all and we’re still great friends. Eventually the jury convicted the defendant.
Tl;dr- interpreter didn’t interpreter a line accurately, I heckled to correct him. Got kicked outta the courtroom.
|
HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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IXoJdajzp1txJ4C6gMtFqQnzg7GfHJIX
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a6p2vm
| null |
AITA-didn’t steer the party convo away from political discussion one of my guests probably found uncomfortable?
|
we hosted a holiday open house recently and invited about 30 people. the first to arrive were my parents and a friend of theirs (let’s call her Jane) i have met a handful of times. i always liked her on those occasions, she’s lovely, friendly, kind and a good conversationalist. her husband couldn’t join so she stuck with my parents most of the time,
I know from conversations with my mother that Jane does not share our political views. my parents being more middle of the road, myself being well, much more definitive in my positions, and most of my friends share my views and are more than happy to talk about it.
More people arrived, and at one point i overheard my dad and a few of my more political friends loudly (my dad is 81 and loud when he gets excited) discussing current events.
i was talking to a different group of people and my mother was talking to Jane but they were most definitely in well within ear shot of my dads conversation which was pretty fired up, my friends as well, some of whom can be a bit dramatic.
I felt bad bc hospitality is a big deal to me. i was raised to extend every courtesy to guests in my home. I could have gracefully stepped in and steered the conversation in a different direction but i didn’t.
I think a big part of it was bc everyone there (with the exception of Jane) i know share my/my family’s political views and i thought maybe it might be good for her to hear the convo without having to be attacked or participate, and maybe realize that her opinions aren’t held universally.
plus i was happy to see my father enjoying himself with my friends. at 81, he doesn’t get to do it much.
the convo shifted naturally and i checked on her and my mom soon after and it seemed they were fine. When they left (much later) she seemed okay and thanked us for having her.
it’s still bugging me though. i will of course write her a thank you note for coming and for the lovely gift she brought, but also WIBTA if i didn’t address it then or ever if she doesn’t bring it up? i feel like i know something i wasn’t supposed to know anyway regarding her politics since she never told me herself so i feel like it would be more embarrassing for us both to say something now.
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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9v615o
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{
"description": "telling a girl that she's not suicidal and getting pissed at my childhood friend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling a girl that she's not suicidal and getting pissed at my childhood friend?
|
I have recently turned 18, and I just thought back to two situations that happened a few years ago, probably 4, and I'm wondering if I was the asshole in the situation.
​
**Background**
My friend, let's call him John, and I were friends for a good 5 years at this point. We had been childhood friends, since we were both around 7-8. It was an exclusively online friendship, until last year when we finally met up, just to clarify.
​
I recently joined a Skype group chat that he was in with a good 15-16 of his friends, but I knew only one of them. They weren't too close to him, sparing a few. The girl I knew was more of a acquaintance then anything, I had only put myself out there to say "I'll help you if you need anything," as she was dealing with depression at the time, so we had some sort of a relationship.
​
At the center of this group chat was a girl who we'll call Ana, and she was "suicidal" and "depressed." Now, I would just like to clarify that I am not one to make fun of these things, but I just couldn't believe that she was dealing with these issues. Or rather, I couldn't believe that her "issues" were truly causing the problem in these situations.
​
**Situation 1**
When I first met this girl, I was only about 12 and she was 13, and I was hanging out with John around this group of friends. I didn't join their group-chat for a long time, just for the one time. I asked John if he wanted to have a go on our current fighting game of the time, and when he said yes, she said "If you go with him I'll go cut my wrists." 12 year old me went ballistic, saying that no suicidal person would say that. She wasn't dealing with any current issues, she literally said "I'm in a bad mood, and if he leaves I will have nothing to do," and once I replied "We can stay in the call and talk to you if you want, but we just want to play," she instantly denounces what I said and continued to push the fact that she would hurt herself. We got into an argument, but I had no "back up" because my friend was a mutual friend, and has always hated confrontation. Realizing that there was no persuading her, I backed off. She was just pooling her friends to gang up on me, and talking over me.
​
**Situation 2**
This brings me to when I was 15, and she was 16. I joined the group-chat to hangout, assuming she might have matured by now (I hadn't talked to her since the incident), to find out that she just didn't remember me, which I was fine with. We hung out for a week or two, until one day that John and I had plans. I needed help with a school project, and he was a year above me and agreed to help a week beforehand. We had to postpone it to 1 day before the due date, but it wasn't going to take long.
​
He joined my call, a 1 on 1 call, to help me and after only 15 minutes he said "brb" and left. After two and a half hours of waiting, I decided to message him. Nothing. My anxiety was starting to act up, as I dealt with problems with it as a kid and it sometimes popped up in stressful situations, and I was GENUINELY WORRIED for his safety. His family situation was in no way safe, and he often had sporadic-emergency situations, as he was living in a very bad part of his town. Six hours after it happened, I checked the group chat, which I hadn't before because I was on "Do Not Disturb" and found that he had been calling with Ana that entire time. Apparently, she asked for a quick 5-minute rant session, but in fact wanted him to "sit with her for the entire day." I joined, and asked what was up. "Well, she's not feeling good and she won't let me leave, whenever I say I gotta leave she says she refuses to be without me, and that she'll hurt herself." I asked the situation, and she said "My mom had a run in with the police, so I'm at the station just sitting on my computer, apparently she'll be fine, but she just needs to fill out some paperwork," I asked how that had taken six hours, and she didn't want to reply. John told me it was true, and realizing there was nothing I could do I asked if we could work on the project in the call with her there.
​
"No, I want just John" she said, and no matter how many times I pleaded, with the deadline approaching, she said no. She wanted no compromises. I got on her, telling her that I need to get it done. She replies "if you keep this up ill kill myself and write you down on my suicide note as a bully." I flip, and my friend just sits there, trying to defend her. He said that he wanted to be "neutral" despite later telling me he ALWAYS thought I was right.
​
After TWO WEEKS of trying to repair my reputation from her rumors, I sat down each and every person in the chat, except her boyfriend, and told them my story with full chatlogs. They all eventually agreed with me, but called me an asshole for "calling her out instead of waiting until the next day." I then got into an argument with my friend, saying that if he believed I was right, that he shouldn't leave me out to dry, and that he should help defend me against the mob of strangers he introduced me to.
​
Was I the asshole?
​
​
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HISTORICAL
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AIw2kpWyOc1GWFbCOHiCN5reOW1BXpYy
|
aokujp
|
{
"description": "not wanting to fly home for the weekend",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting to fly home for the weekend?
|
I (38 M) live on the west coast of the USA, and I travel 10 or so times per year for work. Next month I have two trips to the east coast which happen to fall really close together. I have a week of meetings in DC followed by a meeting in New York the following Tuesday. I'm thinking it would be a lot easier (and possibly cheaper - although my company will pay for it either way) to just stay the weekend in New York rather than spend all day flying home on Friday, only to turn around on Monday and spend all day flying across the country again.
Problem is, when I brought this up with my girlfriend (36 F) she got pretty annoyed. We live together and have been dating several years, and we normally spend weekends like that together just hanging out. But we don't have any specific plans for that weekend, and my kids are with my ex wife, and like I said it just seems more convenient. And, to be honest, I live in a smaller town and I do enjoy spending time in the big city.
But her response made it clear she's mad about this and there is a full blown fight in my future. She said that I'm being "weird" and "avoiding my real life" and "being a workaholic". I don't know if she's being insecure, or if she just doesn't want to spend the weekend alone, or if I'm actually being weird about this. I mean, I do enjoy being in the city and I have some work friends I might grab drinks with while I'm there, but most of the time I'll just be alone in my hotel room that weekend. So maybe it's objectively kind of insulting that I'd choose a lonely weekend alone in a hotel over a weekend of Netflix with her? I honestly don't know.
tl;dr I'm planning to stay the weekend in New York rather than fly home between work trips, and my girlfriend is upset about it.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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MUcBSktaaEbxo7nzGRcur5u9wVjsZYqL
|
as5z1d
|
{
"description": "not wanting a dick pic",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting a dick pic?
|
I know the title sounds ridicilious, so let me explain a little. So I saw this conversation going on in Jodel (anonymous app for short conversations) where a guy wanted a -i quote- HONEST OPINION OF HIS BODY. He states that there will be no dick pics, only one pic with body showing. I promise to give him an honest answer, and so do 2 other girls.
So he gives us his kik account. I start saying that everybody have a different type of bodies and I think every bodytype is beautiful etc. He sends a picture with him in his underwear and i notice that he have a huge erection in this picture. Fine, what else you can expect from that kind of conversation. Then he asks me if I want to review his dickpic. I politly say no, I think strangers dick pics are weird.
Then I go back to the Jodel thread and ask from those two other woman that did he ask them also to review his dickpic. They both said yes.
This is the part when the man starts to get FURIOUS. He claims that I'm the asshole for even bringing that up in his thread. Then he says I'm a rude whore, who just got him to hate woman. I ask him what was wrong about me asking other girls just a question. He says that I humiliated him because I did tell everyone in that thread what he asked for. Then he creates multiple threads in channel, where people are looking for sex, asking if someone would bang me and giving my kik-account to everyone. He's trying to act like a girl so now I'm having flood of messages coming to my kik-account.
So, Am I the asshole for asking other girls that if the guy has asked them a same thing? Is that a violation of privacy?
Ps. Sorry for my english, not my first or even my second language, still trying to lern!
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
|
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|
awpol5
|
{
"description": "giving away a dog last week, and wanting to buy a new one this week",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 12
}
|
AITA for giving away a dog last week, and wanting to buy a new one this week
|
So, long story short here. Me and my wife had a dog for 5 years that we rescued from the pound. We absolutely loved him more than anything, but he was extremely aggressive towards strangers and pretty much anything that wasn’t me or her.
This was fine, and we managed it (despite him biting like 5 of my friends and family members). We tried everything under the sun to train him and get him trained, but I think his past life just screwed him up beyond repair.
Fast forward to when we had a son. He never really liked him, but we kept a very close eye on him and everything seemed fine. Last week though, he bit my 18 months old face viciously to the point where we had to take him to the ER to get glued. It was the straw that broke the camels back and we regretfully had to give him up. We found an elderly couple that have had experiences with dogs like him and promised us they’d take super good care of him and let us visit whenever we want.
It killed us, and since then the house just seems empty and we’re both shattered by having to give him up. We’ve been visiting dogs everywhere and we found a Bernedoodle puppy that we fell in love with from a reputable local breeder. We did adequate research and found out they’re super friendly with kids and are perfect family companions. Additionally, we feel like having him from a puppy age and raising him with kids, will make it part of his lifestyle.
We might bite the bullet and drop $1600 to get him tomorrow but I feel awful knowing that we just gave our other dog away. So Reddit, please AITA here?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
UszSnvgubxboWlslDHGi4hd7AOHjZyel
|
b2cdox
|
{
"description": "cancelling plans on my friend with bpd last minute because I woke up feeling really sick",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for cancelling plans on my friend with bpd last minute because I woke up feeling really sick?
|
My partner and I are friends with another couple. Let's call them A and B. A has bpd, anxiety, and another handful of mental disorders. Due to the nature of bpd, she used to hate me when we didn't know each other that well.
I started dating my current SO who was also in that circle of friends, and because of that she gave me another chance. I have PTSD and depression and overtime we bonded over some similar a struggles we go through and she apologized for hating my guts.
Things have been amicable between us for months, and we take turns hosting weekly with our group of 5-7 friends. This weekend even though I've been feeling really sick, tired, and emotionally fucked up because I'm pregnant, I still hosted the party. (It's too early to tell anyone).
Sunday we were supposed to go for brunch on a double date. It was A's idea. I woke up and confirmed that we still wanted to go. A said that B was still sleeping but we set a time to meet. About 10-15 minutes later I started having really bad morning sickness and overall body aches. (I've been getting every uncomfortable pregnancy symptom imagineable).
I message A and say "I actually don't feel good enough to go out and I'm really nauseous and bloated." I sent that and then rolled around in pain until passing out.
I woke up later and got a huge block of text from A about how rude I am and that last minute cancellations really triggers her bpd and anxiety along with other things. Since I didn't apologize or propose a rescheduled date she said she would no longer try to make plans with me because it causes her too much anger.
I'll give her that, I did forget to say sorry or suggest another time. But I was in so much pain I wasn't over thinking my cancellation like I usually would.
I have yet to respond, I left it on read. I'm tired of walking on eggshells around A, it's quite exhausting for me. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
LpXrxEZdcaS0dzsOBETRSDAuWdrZNO4k
|
ausd9p
|
{
"description": "having an exam overlap",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for having an exam overlap?
|
Giving context, I have two classes which overlap due to my poor scheduling and some circumstances that were out of my control. I am in my final year / semester of university and am expecting to graduate, but in order to do so I need a single math credit. Unfortunately I have an overlap of 30 minutes for two of my classes. Normally I skip the math class as Im semi-confident in the work, but I have an exam this upcoming Wednesday.
​
Now for the AITA bit, I told my teacher two months ago that I would at some point have to miss a class for atleast 20 minutes so that I can finish this exam, but I'd only be late rather than skipping entirely. She didn't exactly say it was alright, but that we'd talk about it on a later date, but she did state that if anyone was going to miss that letting her know would help her schedule around it. The class is a seminar class, and I won't be presenting that day so it would just be my comments for the presenter that would be missing, and it has no effect on my grade whatsoever. Today however, two days before the exam I just wanted to remind her that I would be missing for a portion of the class, and she decided to yell infront of the entire class to be about how she expects 100% attendance, and how I would have to make it up with the professor of the other class.
​
I'm not sure if I'm being an asshole for missing the class even though I told her months prior that I would have to miss and she didn't seemed phased by it at the time.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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0K3aZcCbPX2zIS32Goi1bJcmzNW2RFHj
|
ajjcq0
|
{
"description": "not always holding the door",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not always holding the door?
|
I am a university student and the door holding etiquette on my campus is, in my opinion, extremely excessive. People have held the door for me when I’m a solid 20-25 feet away, in extreme cases. I HATE this because then I have to walk faster to not make them wait and it just feels awkward and unnecessary for everyone involved. This is in all academic buildings, the student center, basically anywhere people walk between classes.
Anyway, my general rule is that if the door would naturally close before the nearest person behind me reaches it, I don’t hold it for them. However, this means that sometimes I turn around and look at the person behind me (to see how far away they are) and then don’t hold the door for them. Sometimes we make eye contact. Sometimes I get a little frustrated with the whole situation and don’t hold the door even if people are a little closer. I never just let a door slam in someone’s face, but should I be doing more to match the general campus culture?
Edit: I am happy to hold the door open for people close (like <10 feet) behind me. I often go out of my way to open the door for people carrying packages/who would struggle opening the door themselves for any reason. I just don’t like when door holding for the sake of politeness turns into this awkward show that both delays the door holder and makes the person behind them feel the need to do a weird half-jog to the door to not waste their time.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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am1hmi
|
{
"description": "telling my best friend \"are you eating your burger with a fork because you don't like black people touching your food?\" or did I say it in front of the wrong group of people",
"pronormative_score": 538,
"contranormative_score": 117
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|
AITA for telling my best friend "are you eating your burger with a fork because you don't like black people touching your food?" or did I say it in front of the wrong group of people?
|
Some back story. I'm white, my best friend since middle school is a black dude named Rob. I'm not a white guy who says "I have lots of black friends" because I don't, but Rob and I have been thick as thieves since we went to Jr nationals for wrestling. I literally love the guy like a brother.
We are in second semester of freshman year at our state university. Since we both hope to apply to professional grad schools, we've been searching around for community service groups in order to make contacts, get experience and maybe even help the community. We both volunteered for a veterans service organization where we go around and make sure that elderly veterans have thier basic services covered and aren't living in a dirty house. So far it's been kind of a waste of time because everyone we check has thier shit together and seem to resent us as busy bodies. Whatever, the leader of this group thinks she's saving the world and Rob and I are gong to stick it out to spring break and then find something else.
So the group had this dinner on Wednesday night at a restaurant and we went because, why not free food. I have no idea what Robs deal was but I looked across the table and Rob was cutting and eating his hamburger with a knife and fork. I about died laughing because it looked so ridiculous and I had no idea what he was doing and I've eaten meals with him thousands of times and I've never seen him do such a thing. It was hysterically funny.
So I looked at him and I said "hey Rob are you eating your burger with a fork because you don't like black people touching your food?" Rob literally laughed so hard that he coughed up the piece in had in his mouth. We say stuff like this to each other all the time.
But the reaction from everyone else was the most ridiculous "clutch the pearls" shocked white people reaction you've ever seen. I may as well have shot Rob in the face. I was scolded by the head of of the volunteer group in person, while literally every other person present came over to Rob to make sure he was "OK." I knew I fucked up but as we were leaving we got a huge laugh about it and Rob told me that some of the cuter volunteer chicks might actually feel sorry for him enough to have sex with him. I thought it was over and done with.
Well yesterday director lady sent out a group email talking about the "horrors of racism" and how words have power and how racism must be ripped out by its roots wherever we see it and at the end she said "u/Monsterof will be apologizing to the entire group at Friday's meeting." Not apologizing to Rob who my joke was directed towards...but apparently to the group of angry white peoples who were sleepless over the mean words (not directed at them) I said to my best friend ok the planet.
Again, Rob and I got a big laugh but I'm really pissed she said I WOULD be apologizing when I hadn't even been consulted yet. I think I should just quit and leave her hanging. Rob wants me to get up there and make a mockery of her apology but I don't even want to do that.
Not necessarily looking for advice because I have until 3 when the meeting starts, but am looking for am I the asshole or not?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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kJEB1q4JweFQeINTzBDCTKMRsbiimNs4
|
atdpul
|
{
"description": "snitching on my underage cousin to the girl whose so she is sleeping with",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA for snitching on my underage cousin to the girl whose SO she is sleeping with?
|
**Bare with me if this is overly dragged on, or my punctuation or abbreviations aren’t the best. Also if my grammar is trash, I’m sorry. I’m more of a browser than a poster**
Okay so I’ll try to make a long story short. My cousin, 17yo female who we will call A, has been sneaking around with this 28yo woman who we will call M. (M has a girlfriend of like 4 years). Anyways, I introduced A to M years ago but M is a big party person and honestly she gave me the creeps if I hung around too long. She had a crush on me when I was younger, now that I’ve grown up not so much but that could be because I don’t see her ever. So little background on A, she has absolutely no parental figure in her life ; aside from me but I’m a 22yo who still hasn’t figured anything out. She didn’t graduate high school, she dropped out at like 14. Her mom has multiple sugar daddies and a low key drug addiction but she wants to mean well. Her dad works all the time in a different town and well A only really shows care when it’s her pay day which is $100 from dad twice a month. Sooo A and I shared two best friends. They both died. The first one died in Nov of 2017, the second who was actually the sister of the first, died one month ago. Now we were all just starting to accept that our best friend had died, and now her sister did to, so that door has opened back up even wider. A has now reconnected with M, has been drinking straight vodka with M every single day for the last two weeks straight, lying about silly things such as where she is, or who she is with (she’s never lied to me before) however she did tell me that her and A have a connection and do things to each other when M’s gf isn’t around. To me it sounds like M is kind of a predator and sees that my cousin is in a very vulnerable state of mind, let alone young and will give almost anyone affection who shows interest in her at this time in her life, or more so gives her an abundance of booze to wash away the pain. To top it off, A’s mom just had brain surgery today for her aneurysms and A didn’t even send a text. She may not be the best mother but she’s still her mom. SOOO WIBTA if I find a way to contact M’s girlfriend and tell her that M is sleeping with A in their own house when she’s not looking? I feel this is the only thing that will get A away from M and ease her drinking. I’ve talked to A, I told her my thoughts, asked her what she thinks will happen between them, etc. it’s to the point now where she is completely ignoring me. I just wanna know what I should do. I really don’t care if she gets mad at me. I would rather that than have it be her funeral I’m attending next.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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b4agjp
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{
"description": "(probably) ending this friendship",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for (probably) ending this friendship?
|
So, today I got some news that seriously damaged my chances of getting into a good college (Basically, I was operating under the impression that I would be admitted with a GAA & I found out today that I didn't quite meet all of the qualifications, so I'm now competing with all of the other transfer students as well as the GAA students.)
&#x200B;
So I vented in a group chat with a few of my friends, going off about how my advisor never even mentioned these extra classes I needed to take, and that if I wanted to get the GAA, I'd have to spend another semester in this school (which I already hate and the school is in a town I can't wait to escape from)
&#x200B;
So my friend says "Woah dude, instead of letting your inner edge out, you need to relax. You couldn't do anything about it, so you need to just accept it and move on" (Paraphrasing, but I feel I kept the same basic tone that I received, which is the important part)
&#x200B;
Maybe it was just because it was text, but to me, this was dripping with superiority. So I went off. I said something along the lines of "Listen, buddy, maybe instead of invalidating my frustrations and acting superior you could, oh I dunno, give me helpful solutions and/or just fucking empathize with me?" (That was a TLDR, I actually typed out something much longer.)
&#x200B;
To which he replied "There's a book I'm not going to read" (Referring to the long paragraph I texted the chat) And then out of nowhere "Maybe if you want to keep your friends you should stop pushing them away"
&#x200B;
That was it. I was done. I said as much and left the group chat, and I'm very much planning on not speaking to this friend again. Am I the asshole here? I feel a little bit of guilt, but at the same time I feel I can never vent to this dude, he always pulls this shit and says stuff like "just accept it" with that same superior tone and it pisses me off more every time.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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vc1m4409DGM5y6bLEEDEd8aFG6ydzgWR
|
a5r3ml
|
{
"description": "feeling hurt that my friend hates me because of my anxiety",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for feeling hurt that my friend hates me because of my anxiety?
|
&#x200B;
I'm calling her Emily. She's abused.
I am abused too. My father was an alcoholic drunk and my mother doesn't care about me, but my dad's out of the picture now. I was basically raised by my older brother but now he's in college, and I'm at home.
As a result of this abuse I'm depressed, anxious, and I hate how I look. I weigh 80 pounds and I'm way too fat, so I don't eat much.
Some backstory on this is that in July, some drama happened in our friend group and one of my friends, I'm calling him Jon, ended up accusing me of using my abuse as an excuse and he said I wasn't trying to improve even though I was after Emily ended up crying or something when I started getting self-hating thoughts and left.
We fought and he wasn't my friend anymore, and I called Emily saying that Jon called me a selfish attention whore, which he basically did with the way he talked to me. She told me she agreed with him because sometimes I hurt her because I feel bad about myself alot and when she tries to cheer me up I "accuse" her of lying. I don't, I just have a problem thinking everybody hates me sometimes, so when she cheers me up its hard to believe because of the abuse I went through.
She also said it was basically all my fault that her girlfriend Sarah spent their anniversary talking to me instead of her because I called Sarah saying that I wanted to kill myself and she ended up texting me all day instead of doing whatever they were supposed to do. I told her that my mental health was at stake and she got mad because I "should of known" because I accidentally did the same thing before, its not my problem to remember their anniversary. Plus, I've known Sarah longer than she has and thats why I turned to her first instead of my other friends for help. She just didnt understand how Jon made me feel - I felt like he was my abusive father, yelling at me. She didn't even have any sympathy for me, and I told her that, that she couldn't understand how I felt because she wasn't abused as bad as I was (she only got verbal abuse and a few slaps - not as bad as me) and how hurt I was that she didn't have any sympathy. She called me abusive and left, which was really rude and hurtful.
I told Sarah about it and she got really mad at ME, which was really hurtful. She stopped talking to me, but I figured I'd let it blow over.
A week later I decided to be the bigger person and apologize, and told her how she made me cut myself so she apologized as well. Everything was back to normal except she was acting weird around me, and wouldn't spend as much time with me as before and hung out with Jon alot. Because of my abuse and my anxiety I thought it was because she was secretly gossiping about me to Jon and Sarah because Sarah hadn't talked to me since, and so I got really mad at her and asked her if she hated me alot because I needed the reassurance that she didn't because of my anxiety.
One day I told her about how I thought she was talking about me behind her back because I can't help thinking about it due to my abuse, and I thought she'd reassure me again. Instead she got offended and told me it was rude to say that because it meant I didn't trust her as a friend but I explained that due to my abuse, you could put me infront of the worlds most honest person and I still wouldn't trust them. She told me to get a therapist if I can't trust anyone and I told her it was offensive of her to suggest that all I did was sit around and do nothing about my mental health because my depression is so bad that I can't go to school. She told me that she "tried \[her\] best but \[she\] can't anymore" and blocked me and stopped talking to me and since then my other friends have also told me that they don't want to talk about my personal problems anymore even the ones i relied on when I think about suicide so that makes me think that she's gossiping about me.
The other day she agreed to give me a second chance after I bumped into her with her friends in the mall and talked to her about it saying how nervous I was and that I admitted I was taking out my frustrations about Sarah ghosting me on her. I cried a bit when I saw her and I told her I was sorry and that she made me cut myself because she left. I really wanna fix this because this is the last chance I have with her and she honestly helps alot with my problems when we aren't fighting so I need it because everyone else can't help. She hasn't talked to me since we bumped into each other though and she still blocked me.
&#x200B;
&#x200B;
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HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
sRg9V48B8LuAVuVTGq1I0xmcfHrSjsGF
|
b7dk6z
|
{
"description": "not covering a shift for a sick co-worker",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not covering a shift for a sick co-worker?
|
My boss sent me a text asking if I would cover a shift for a sick co-worker by adding on 3 extra hours of my already 8 hr shift. I told her no because our line of work hires substitutes for these types of situations. My boss was irritated that I wouldn't cover the shift and told me she would take care of it. I found out that my boss did not request a sub, but instead had the sick co-worker come in. Now the sick co-worker is mad at me because she had to work and I wouldn't cover the end of her 3 hr shift.
AITA for not covering her shift?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
2QZx6cpepTgQqfndNikbpzmnR5N5g6uj
|
ai69nw
|
{
"description": "basically tattling on a dude to his parents",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for basically tattling on a dude to his parents?
|
There’s this group of a boys at my school that are the most generic freshmen boys you could ever think of. They wear too much axe, pretend theyre nazis, and play fortnite.
They usually hangout every month for a sleepover and spam call a bunch of girls. They did it to my friend while she was having a rosary prayer session with her family, so I texted one of the boys parents in a respectful manner and the dad made them stop.
Now half of the boys in my grade hate me. AITA for making a bunch of boys get into a big amount of trouble just cause of something small?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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esMQQz1bqJP8NbtfqGCJdV7qNtAugUjZ
|
b269li
|
{
"description": "not wanting my in-laws to visit us",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 15
}
|
AITA for not wanting my in-laws to visit us?
|
I am 24 F Indian and married to a white Australian 32 M. We have been married for 2 years.
And I’m 6 months pregnant with our first child, a girl.
I’ve always had a strained relationship with my husband’s parents. They did not accept me at first but then they just tolerated me for my husband’s sake. They never liked me, although they will always deny this. His mother is very critical of me and finds faults. She is also rude to my mother.
My husband married me despite his parents objections. We are very much in love. But I told him I don’t want his parents to visit us because they always cause fights and arguments. She picks on my cooking skills and she complains the house is a mess. She picks up the things laying around the house while giving me a dirty look. These are just some of the things she does to me.
His father wears shoes inside the house. We have a no shoes inside policy. One time, he walked in and put his feet with shoes on the coffee table and then on our white couch. I had to clean this all up.
I told my husband that I don’t want them to see my daughter when she’s born. This made him very upset and I’ve never seen him this angry.
He said I’m being selfish and his parents want to see their granddaughter. But how can I? If they treat me like dirt.
We had a huge fight. I feel really guilty. I ended up crying alone. He said he’s still upset and needs alone time.
I don’t know what to do. I can’t stop crying.
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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EVERYBODY
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|
WRONG
|
Uu2b9zX7hMe7KT6cmPdw6vPeR4eMpfD3
|
aqlcsl
|
{
"description": "not wanting a child for this potential reason",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for not wanting a child for this potential reason?
|
I have been with my girlfriend for nearly 2 years - even though I'm 34 and she's 28, we've had a much different relationship history. I've never really had anything go beyond a couple of months while she has been in 2 long-term relationships (4+ years each) - the 2nd of which resulted in a child who is now 5.
Given that I'd spent the whole of my teens and 20's effectively single, the little aspirations I did have of having kids basically dissipated away. In fact, I was initially unsure of pursuing a relationship with my GF because she had a son and knew that committing to her would ultimately mean committing to him too.
I have committed and while I have a great time with him and am happy to provide for him (his Dad is pretty useless but does see a lot of him as he lives 2 streets over), I don't feel that I have that 'unconditional' love that I even have for my nieces.
While my girlfriend has said that she has no interest in going through a pregnancy right now (her pregnancy was pretty horrible), she didn't want to say never. I said that I felt that my time to have a child has been and gone as I wouldn't want to even have her conceive until we're married which would be years down the line and I'd be in my 40's by the time my child started school.
She seemed fine with that but then I said, and this is where things changed, that 'I also worry that, subconsciously, I might give preferential treatment to my biological child over my stepchild'
She seemed extremely upset that I don't consider her child mine and that I was some kind of monster for suggesting that I could show preference to one child. It was at this point I brought up the fact that the father of her child already had a child and asked her if she loved them as much as she does her own to which the reply was "that's different" and left the room.
That was about 3 days ago and since then, barely a word has been exchanged between us, other than being told how selfish and uncaring I am.
I really don't think what I said was so bad and I didn't say for a fact that I would favour my child over a step child, merely that there was a chance that I could and I would hate to do that to my stepson so would rather not have a child at all.
TL:DR
I tell my gf that I'm not particularly bothered about being a dad, partly because I couldn't guarantee being impartial with my child and my step-child. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
0biXPeGls2thc4zAzbYJCIEsqKd7DtU5
|
atre8i
|
{
"description": "telling a guy I know how to drive",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for telling a guy I know how to drive
|
I was backing into a spot and had to back up multiple times because there was a guy sitting parked in front of me not paying attention and there was barely enough room. This random guy comes out of the place I was in front of and starts waving me into the spot and I gave him a weird look and he came over and I rolled down my window and he said “are you trying to back into this spot?” And I said “yeah” and then he then proceeded to direct me into the spot and explain how to park and I said “I know how to drive” and he said “oh… OK” Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
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NOBODY
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RIGHT
|
UG9JfnHY2xyuZq84nRu1v7l5M4MFHo4g
|
a82r9m
|
{
"description": "asking my coworker if her children are adopted",
"pronormative_score": 19,
"contranormative_score": 67
}
|
AITA for asking my coworker if her children are adopted?
|
A few months ago, my coworker was talking to me about her children. I naturally asked to see photos as I love seeing baby pictures! I love kids! She showed me a photo of two black girls. They were super adorable, and I asked if her kids were adopted. She said "No, I popped them out of my vagina." I apologized and that was that.
Fast forward to present day, on Facebook she wrote a post about how she encountered a rude person at the mall who asked if her kids were adopted infront of the girls. Her post went on to vent about how people are so ignorant. Many comments followed along, stating how people are rude and they have no business in knowing how their kids came to be.
I also remembered that she shared what I said to our coworkers over lunch. We were talking about stupid things we can personally say, and I added to the conversation that I say inappropriate things at inappropriate times. That coworker said, "Yeah, like the time you asked me if my kids were adopted." Many of her close friends were at that lunch table and looked horrified and gave me a very dirty look.
Am I the asshole for asking if her kids were adopted?
In my defence, her kids are very, very dark and did not look like they were mixed.. It happened a few months ago, and I don't know whether to apologize again or not. I apologized immediately when it happened... but seems like she's keeping a list of all the people that have said similar things to her as her Facebook is flooded with posts explaining these encounters...
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
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|
WRONG
|
7vUdO6QIz9hPcAkYkHIOD1FxVVUdnUlx
|
anw2lc
|
{
"description": "calling my friend racist for disliking Spanish",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for calling my friend racist for disliking Spanish?
|
Background- Sorry for any typo, English is not my first language. I'm 14 and he's 12. We live in a country where most teenagers don't like Spanish. Most teenagers wouldn't bother learning the language, leaving mostly adults that are able to speak Spanish. I come from a Spanish speaking family and is fluent in Spanish.
M=me
Q=friend
C=other friend
So, Q has always shown digust towards Spanish, but in a much heavier way than most teenagers. He often uses gags such as: "Yo no poderéis hablamos el Español bien","Spaniish is stupid" or "Le êspangole c'est bête et mal", the last gag is said with his knowledge of French (We get French lessons in school). At first, I used to think it was funny, and laughed too. But one day he sent me a pic, a very rude one(in my opinion), it was a before and after. It had a ink cartrige box and it had two "flaps" to open it, one says "open here" and the other one says "abrir". He put a disgusted face emoji and a text that said: "Me: spanish is disgusting" for the unopend box as the before and "What I did" for the opened box as the after. He oblitirated the "open here" side. I told him that the foto was racist and that he should remove it. It could have not been racist if he didn't put that emoji and changed the text a bit. But he then proceeded to tell C and C says:" Aww, you're going to break his heart" and laugh (Since that is what he always does when Q tells him one of the gags mentioned above). Then he told another classmate the same thing and she said "Just because he doesn't like Spanish doesn't mean he's racist" without seeing the picture. So, my question is:
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
9j8KacU6IDek9vAE8uBVTvglR8di2pd2
|
b53ng9
|
{
"description": "trying to get my siblings to see family",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for trying to get my siblings to see family?
|
We were invited to dinner with some family that none of us had seen for ages. I had plans already, and declined (the invite came at us a day before the dinner) but my brother and sister didn't have a reason (aside from laziness) to decline.
They just felt no obligation to see family, and that's got me pretty upset. AITA for trying to guilt them out of their pajamas and into free food with family we hadn't seen for more than a year?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
lmVIgmvKwBJ8hd6kWFNosVnRcX82goPo
|
9y3daz
| null |
AITA Told my dad he cannot maintain a relationship with me if he stays with my abusive stepmother
|
I am a 19yo female and I moved away from my home state a year ago primarily to escape my abusive stepmother who has abused me physically, mentally, and emotionally for years.
My dad has always seemed to be aware of the abuse but has refused to fully acknowledge it, instead insisting if I ‘took the high ground’ all the conflict would disappear (it never did). He is chronically depressed, an alcoholic, and often talks about suicide. I’ve acted more like his therapist than his child for a long time.
Months ago, I made a trip back home to see how he was doing which I should’ve known was a mistake. I felt horribly depressed the whole time I was there and at times physically sick. On the last night before I was to fly back home, my dad had an emotional breakdown because of how visibly unhappy I was being there and my stepmother blamed me, physically intimidated me and verbally put me down (in front of him) until I was moment’s away from a violent outburst. I spent the night out of their house and flew back the next morning.
Afterwards I had an extended argument with my dad, essentially telling him I could not maintain a relationship with someone who allowed their child to be relentlessly abused by their spouse. He defended my stepmother, went into full on denial mode. I told him to go fuck himself and enjoy living unhappily with her.
I’m very afraid of my dad killing himself now but I know I can’t help him without bringing harm to myself. Did I make a mistake? I don’t think I’m an asshole for doing what I did but maybe I shouldn’t been as harsh to him as I have been.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
udZeWAG3t3LnMKUxDQHlximYBTb6ocO6
|
aoccy4
|
{
"description": "not wanting my gf and her ex to hang out and walk together around aswell as talk everyday",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting my gf and her ex to hang out and walk together around aswell as talk everyday.
|
(I have been through Reddit a lot but I made an account because I wanted to know if I was the ass here)
I'm 14 so obviously it's not a serious relationship and I don't expect it to last. However her and him have long conversations on Snapchat so I can't even see the messages. I asked her to stop talking to him so much bc it makes me uncomfortable but she got mad and said that it was nothing.
The day after I brought it up however he came up behind us in the hall started tickling her sides, noticed me and went "oh" as he sped off from us. I asked about it and she again got mad again but instead of explaining it as her bieng mistaken as his gf or something BUT INSTEAD she refused to admit that it even happened EVEN THO I LITERALLY WAS RIGHT NEXT TO HER. Aita for wanting her to stop talking to him and threatening to end the relationship?(
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
T2XwaOs73SkwwMRlTwScZBuO8Owfdf75
|
b8meyk
|
{
"description": "letting my son go to his fathers until his living situation changes",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
wibta if I don let my son go to his fathers until his living situation changes?
|
Background: My son´s father and I do not have any official custody agreement. When we lived in the same city son´s dad would come over a few times a week. The place I was renting was sold and I ended up moving to my home town 40 min away and we did the every other weekend thing. Then I had to move 4 hours away, but still in the same province. Neither of us drive - myself for medical reason and my son dad just never got their licence. I had been taking the bus with my son down to my home town on long weekends and my son dad would pick him up from there this cost $300 for me and $25 for my son´s dad. My son´s dad very rarely came to pick him up and when he did there was a 6 hour delay between the bus getting in and the bus going back during which time my son´s dad would stay at my place, very uncomfortable for me, but I put up with it from my son.
The issue is that my son´s dad rents a room in an apartment, this was supposed to be a temporary setup and they were supposed to move out within a few months - it is now going on 6 years. My son has no separate sleeping area, not even a mattress on the ground, they share a bed. My son is about to turn 11 and it doesn´t feel right to me that they still share a bed. In fact I think it is illegal in my province for their not to be a different sleeping area for kids over 5. Because neither of us drive there can´t really be day trips, my son´s father asked me to take him down to my home town so he could see him during the day, but it cost over $300 to do so - money they do not help with, whereas the trip is only $25 from their place to my home town. My ex´s idea on how to solve this is for them to stay at my place because I have an extra bedroom, but that is not going to happen because I cannot have my ex staying at my house, it would be awful, the 6 hours they stay between buses is bad enough.
&#x200B;
I want my son to see his dad, but this isn´t working for us. WIBTA if I tell him he needs to find alternative sleeping arrangements.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
KQMS0FWe45RkteLeWc3UmzPPUqMpk9hH
|
ax4qcr
| null |
AITA my boss wants to cut my hair because of a mistake I made.
|
So I work at a movie theater and I've worked there for about 3ish months. I'm 17. I'm a boy with longish curly hair. I take good care of my hair. And I guess my boss assumed I liked my hair, which I do. Also sorry for bad grammar I'm tired and dont feel like thinking, I digress. So I work behind the concession counter and I serve food. And being that we serve food there are certain health codes we have to follow. I get that but the way he reacted was over the top in my opinion. So I was getting this family their drinks. And we have tubs full of ice and I had always seen everyone else take the cup and scoop the ice into the cup via said cup. And my boss saw me do this. When I was trained It was never mentioned to me that this was bad. So my boss comes behind the counter and stops me while on pouring the drink, puts his hand on my shoulder and turns me to him. He says that if I got him in trouble that we would fire me, and cut my hair the way his was (hes bald). This made me livid. Idk am I just being a bitch? Just curious.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 29,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 35,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
xNEq4ptQlNsPIpspINaXIjAKoa5AM9pX
|
anm956
|
{
"description": "driving off my pregnant cousin on our culture's biggest holiday",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for driving off my pregnant cousin on our culture’s biggest holiday?
|
My cousin was coming to the US for an intensive English program and it was assumed by my family that we would take her in for the semester. A week before she arrived we learned that she was pregnant, by that point it was way too late to change our minds about the living situation.
We run an Airbnb out of our home, and she needed a job so we decided to give her the cleaning fee and she would clean it. We ended up paying for her food, and she would cook in exchange. Otherwise she was not helping around the house, and if I asked her to follow a house rule she would just ignore it.
I know she is very homesick so I invite her to watch TV with me and my husband when at home, we invite her to hang out when we have friends over. We also help her get to class we drive her to and pick her up from the train station everyday. Still she mostly she just hung out in her room.
She isn’t very quiet about going down the stairs in the morning, so I told her that she was walking down the stairs very loudly and if she could keep it down to not disturb the guests. She responded that “it’s not like they try to be quiet, they are loud and keep us up at night” (the guests last night were on the louder side). I said they were our guests and they paid us to stay here, and it’s not like you pay. She stormed off made sure to be sure to stomp down the stairs. On the way out I made a comment “you can leave if you want to...”.
When I came home all of her stuff was gone and she went to live with a friend she made at school. I did not expect her to move out from a small argument. It just happens to be our equivalent of Christmas today, and I feel terrible.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
uQU811a4GZcrviayyrRfg3P33LNY6efV
|
9vtjpa
|
{
"description": "cancelling having a drink with an acquaintance",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for cancelling having a drink with an acquaintance?
|
In high school I befriended a guy, but he failed and had to go to a different school. Since then we've had contact through texts mostly and meet up about twice a year for a cup of tea.
Last week he asked if I wanted to meet up again, I asked him if Saturday (today) was okay at 12.30 in the afternoon. He said it would be early because he would go out drinking the day before till about 3am but he would manage.
Today I woke up and immediately felt a big depressive episode flare up. I argued with my fiancé literally over making breakfast and then burst out crying. Not really a good way to start the day.
At 10.30am I texted this guy to ask him if he was okay with moving the date since I needed to take it easy (he knows about my depression and I told him about my morning). He didn't see it until 11.45 and told me "I just woke up really early but ok." I gave him a few dates during which I am available for a drink and he just said he could only do tomorrow. I can't since I have another planned event then, so I told him that.
Later he asked me if he could go back to sleep then if we weren't meeting up so I said sure. He then texted me "But I can't fall asleep anymore".
To be honest, I feel shitty but I have my reasons for moving the date. I told him on time and he chose to go out till 3am (I usually get drunken texts throughout the week from him so it's not like he never goes out). AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
f4KvswVQpgxXEHN5FPwiP5Dzh7k90VRu
|
atly5i
|
{
"description": "getting in arguments withmy so about her making the decision for our 2 year old son to be a vegetarian",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA For getting in arguments with (M21)my SO(F20) about her making the decision for our 2 year old son to be a vegetarian?
|
Title says it, but I'll go into a couple important details: Before our son was conceived, we were talking and she was saying how if she had kids she wanted them to be healthy and eat vegan like her. I was like ehh I mean I guess that's an interesting idea. I never said oh yeah let's do that. We weren't planning to have a kid by the way, this is when we first got together, maybe a couple months after, then we had our son maybe 2-3 years later. I never agreed to this, just humored the idea, ya know, and I'm being serious about this, not twisting the story. When he was born or a little before or after, can't remember, she told me that he was going to be vegan and that if I had a problem with it, I could leave and she could do it on her own. After the baby was born she was living with my mom and I. I obviously told her no, I'm not going to leave, but I think that it's unfair that she makes this huge decision without really saying anything about it, and putting me in this "guilt trip/ultimatum" spot. We argued and fought over it, she threatened to leave and said he can be vegetarian instead. I wasn't going to give up my son for some dumb shit like that, so I said fine. We argue from time to time over it and I was wondering if I have a right to still be pissed off about it and I had a right to be pissed off in the beginning as well. She also pulled the same kind of ultimatum when she proclaimed he was going to be Catholic and go get baptized with her and her family one day. I said wtf no why? I want him to be baptized at a baptist church because that's what I was. We had actually talked about this before. She said she doesn't even have a religion, she was Catholic as a child, but hated it blah blah blah, and that it was fine if I wanted to take him to church and stuff. Like I said she pulled the same ultimatum stuff, but then later gave it up because the appointment or whatever fell through. Thanks guys, sorry for the long post.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
RIGHT
|
21gQ3KYD2Lu7lqgJwTutDWfifhcUUWdK
|
aq78wl
| null |
AITA - forgot to pick up coworkers shift
|
A coworker asked me to pick up a shift and I said no because I was working a 60 hr week and tired. Fast forward 2 weeks, I forgot about her request and picked up a different shift. Busy, totally forgot and apologized to her. She has had it out for me since then, yelling at me and snubbing me. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
yPc8ZydEPqdwjgXEyZt4teBnWLSW2j1P
|
ay4bj1
|
{
"description": "wanting five minutes to myself after a long day",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for wanting five minutes to myself after a long day ??
|
On mobile so please forgive my formatting!
So today I had an extremely stressful 14 hour day in software development hell. Finish work (gladly) ..... go shopping for the monthly shop , after seeing the pits of society in our local aldi I head home.
Few pretty good to be home, cook food, eat food.
Partner is watching trashy neighbours and home and away , I dont mind she works too.
Empty the bins, scrub and disinfect the bins as they had started to smell.....
Hovered the living room
Then the step son wanted to play ps4, no problem, I explain I had a really long day but I'll happily play for 30 mins together on rocket league.
45 mins later I say I need a coffee and a few mins to gather my thoughts and relax.
At this point, said step son starts to visually cry to get his own way
I explain clearly I need 5 mins to myself them we will play in a few ....
At this point my "partner" gives me the most evil of looks I've ever received, like how dare you take 5 mins .....
At this point, I momentarily lose it and throw my phone on the floor .....(dick move I know!) Then proceed to go play with step son, as , i dont get a say in my life apparently!
She (partner) then perks up "drink your bloody coffee etc etc" before her language got worse and worse in front of step son...
So, AITA for needing 5 mins to gather my cool ??
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
YJLd8xnfyLySDwSIg163i5kT48AgRoHV
|
a7544h
|
{
"description": "telling my friend that I made out with a girl, who is now furious that I told someone",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for telling my friend that I made out with a girl, who is now furious that i told someone
|
So some time a few months ago me and this girl who we will call Lilly, just had a scenario where Lilly and I were both in a certain mood and just made out for a bit, no big deal, no feelings. We stayed friends for another month or two. But I had told one of my friends shortly and in passing that "Yeah me and Lilly made out." Well word somehow spread to Lilly, and then I get a message on SC somewhere along the lines of "WTF, IS WRONG WITH YOU DISGUSTING PIG!" I tried relentlessly to apologize and reason with her, I still plan on making amends and buying her coffee and apologizing once again to clear things up. But what I did couldn't have been that bad right?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
xOynYOO3Jlba6VnEKLtsMkwMmQEDYUFc
|
b2pvlw
|
{
"description": "not wanting to invite my stepsister out for my birthday",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 10
}
|
AITA for not wanting to invite my stepsister out for my birthday?
|
I’m 16 almost 17 and she’s 17. Our parents (my dad her mum) got married this year and we now live together. It’s fine, we don’t not get along, but we’re not very similar. I’m a lot more outgoing than she is and we’re just into different things. I’m often out at a party or clubbing while she stays home. My birthday is coming up and me and some of my friends are gonna go to a club, I was talking about it the other day and I think she might have been upset that I didn’t invite her. The thing is, because she’s not really that outgoing she probably wouldn’t really fit in with us and I’d feel like I have to kinda babysit her if she came, me and my friends often get quite drunk too and I just feel like it wouldn’t really be her thing.
My dad told me I should invite her. AITA for not inviting her?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 10,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 10
}
|
WRONG
|
yZy0bdRtKQNyUeIhEGxNJ5GbhCEIBv7Z
|
ago8wf
|
{
"description": "not staying in my school",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not staying in my school?
|
&#x200B;
So i am doing the apprenticeship for the Physiotherapist and i wanna quit cause it ain’t that much fun. This is a school in Munich and it is a private school, so it costs money.
Now its end of first semester and like i said wanna quit, do a part time job till next apprenticeship in IT cause thats my hobby.
But she wants me to hold to the Physio education and go there. Now we are screaming at each other cause i don’t wanna go to this school, but she would like me to stay there. She thinks that i would stay forever at the part time job and i wanna argue against it and then the "If i say so you have to" shit drops
Normally i would just say no but i can’t do anything cause of my age 17…
If i fail the Physio school she wants me to force me in another school that i don't wanna go and i am definitly gonna fail cause lets be honest why would you learn for stuff you don't ever need.
Thanks anons i am really not sure about this
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
UmSockx9P4diF4Dl5k1842CMDFPeA9Ma
|
akqco8
|
{
"description": "selling old stuff my step mom gave me because I no longer use them",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For selling old stuff my step mom gave me because i no longer use them?
|
So to put in context, my dad's wife bought me 2 wallets from mexico a year or two ago. They are beautiful but way too big for my needs and my familly has a history of hoarding stuff so i am currently in the process of getting rid of anything that i do not use.
The conversation started with "Wow you are selling the wallets i got you in mexico haha ok".
To which i replied: "I don't need them anymore, so yes. I am not going to start keeping everything that everyone gives me. They were useful, i used them but i no longer need then :) they did make me happy but i don't want to become a hoarder like my parents"
Who needs more than one wallet? I will also never get why some people have huge ones. They don't even fit in my pockets.
So Reddit, am i the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
ncTwkYwf8xbxZIGHTbmvg7HCg84h5pyJ
|
b3djze
|
{
"description": "\"delaying\" the bus when I was on time",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for “delaying” the bus when I was on time?
|
This happened a few minutes ago. Was at a bus interchange with family. Bus was scheduled to come at 22:22. At 22:19 I decided to go get a drink as Family waited for the bus in the queue. I sprinted and reached the area where we were supposed to line up for the bus.
The bus driver arrived at 22:20 and at 22:21 said he had to leave the bus interchange at that moment, scolding my mother for holding up the bus. She shouted at me to hurry up, which led to me shouting back at that moment saying why did you shout at me. As we ppoceeded to sit down, she said in a voice loud enough to be heard by the bus driver. Don’t blame me, the bus driver was scolding me already, saying he had to leave at 22.20. I was really tempted to reply in a loud tone as well taht he should be leaving at 22:22, and why was he rushing, to see his hospitalized Mother?
I didn’t do that last part in the end, didn’t wanting to start an argument on board.
Afterwards, my mom told me he even shut the doors for awhile while my mom was asking him to wait for 20ish seconds.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
WRONG
|
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