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{
"description": "for spending less and making home made gifts for Christmas instead of buying them",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for for spending less and making home made gifts for Christmas instead of buying them?
|
I keep seeing discussions on people's budgets for their friends and family for Christmas and while I spent some money on supplies, my gifts that I am making did not cost that much. I'm nervous that my family and friends will buy me something expensive and my gifts could not compare. I'm currently in school, so it did help cut costs a lot by making my gifts this year. I'm trying to at least spend a good amount of time on each so I can feel a bit better in case. I am sewing and trying to make them each something based on what they like.
What do you think: Are any of you disappointed to receive home made gifts? Am I the asshole for choosing to make gifts this year (especially if anyone buys me something expensive)?
​
​
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "not wanting to go to my sos grandfather's funeral",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not wanting to go to my SOs grandfather's funeral
|
A little bit of background, I'm black she's white. Her grandfather was a flaming racist and regular threw the N word around. He was also a dirty cop in the late 60's and 70's and had plenty of stories about how he beat up "those colored boys". However, he was really a really good grandfather to his grandchildren. Because he was racist, she pretty much had to keep me a secret from everyone outside of her immediate family for our entire relationship to make sure he never found out. I didn't really care about that because I understood where she was coming from, but I wasn't really a fan of it either. He lived in the next city over and whenever he was in town, I wasn't allowed to come over. She also knew I wasnt a fan of him and had no intention of ever meeting him.
He died of lung cancer recently, he was a heavy smoker, and she was obviously pretty sad. When she told me, I wasn't thrilled or anything, but I wasn't even the tiniest but sad. She asked if I wanted to come to the funeral and I said "honestly, ill go if you need the support, but I probably wouldn't ask to come otherwise" she then asked what I meant and I basically told her that she knew I wasn't a fan of the guy or how he lived his life and she knew that. She got pretty upset, said I was being a jerk and that I was judging a man I never even met. I told her that he was an open racist and wouldn't have even wanted me there. She said that his past was irrelevant and that I should have respect for the dead. She was getting more and more upset so I just told her I'd think about it to make her feel better.
I AM sad that she's sad, but I'm NOT sad that he's gone. I obviously never told her this but I can't force myself to care about this guy. I really don't want to go to this unrepentantly racist guy's funeral and act like I care. Additionally, because I was kept a secret for so long, I literally met none of her extended family so I would know nobody there. So am I the asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "remaining friends with a guy who is attracted to me",
"pronormative_score": 24,
"contranormative_score": 23
}
|
AITA for remaining friends with a guy who is attracted to me?
|
I (22F) am currently in the midst of a *disagreement* with my boyfriend John (26M). The disagreement is mostly about my close friendship with a guy named Cody (23M).
Cody has expressed attraction to me before, and I am also fairly attracted to him (he’s an attractive guy). I’ve never had any sort of sexual encounter with him, mainly because even when I was single I wasn’t a huge fan of the way that he tends to sleep around casually a lot, and because I think that sex can complicate friendships and I don’t want that. Cody and I are very close friends and are open with each other, and since I initially told him I wasn’t interested in sleeping with him he has never tried to initiate anything. He completely respects the fact that I said no and the fact that I’m in a relationship. We have a really strong friendship and I can’t imagine cutting him out of my life, but neither of us have any sort of romantic interest in each other and we treat sex extremely differently and understand that about each other.
Last week, John asked me if I was attracted to Cody. I said yes, because it’s the truth and it would be a trivial thing to lie about, but that it’s not a big deal. John asked if Cody was attracted to me and again I said yes, and that Cody and I are pretty open with each other about that kind of thing but that it’s not a big deal and nothing would never happen. John told me that he was uncomfortable with the fact that I still hung out with him, and that Cody was probably trying to fuck me. I tried to explain that we’d been friends for years and that he was really trivializing a good thing because of one insignificant detail, but he basically said that Cody has a history of sleeping with a lot of girls (true) and that he probably only wanted sex from me. I got mad, because Cody’s a great dude, and yeah he gets around but only with single women who also only want casual sex. It’s not like he goes around lying to women or sleeping with people who are in committed relationships, and he completely respects that I don’t view sex the same way as him and supports my relationship. John basically acted like I don’t understand men and said that he wasn’t comfortable with me hanging out with Cody anymore because I was clearly too naive to see what’s going on. I said that he has no right to tell me who I can and can’t be friends with, and he told me I was being insensitive about his feelings. AITA?
Tl;dr: My boyfriend doesn’t want me to hangout with my best friend anymore because he thinks he only wants to fuck me, but that isn’t true and I’m not going to stop hanging out with him
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "being pissed when my friends say they don't want to hangout because they're tired or not feeling well but then hangout together without me",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being pissed when my friends say they don’t want to hangout because they’re tired or not feeling well but then hangout together without me
|
So I have a small group of friends I hangout with frequently sometimes it’s all 5 of us sometimes it’s just 3 of us sometimes it’s just me and one of my friends. Two weekends in a row now I’ve asked 2 of my friends to hangout and their response has been along the lines of “not tonight I’m tired” or “I’m not feeling well tonight maybe tomorrow though?”. Normally I would be totally fine with those responses because it’s a totally reasonable response/reason. The past two weeks however after they’ve said no I’ve found out that that they were hanging out together without me.
I’m friends with on of my friends on find my friends and he shares his location on snap map. I haven’t been intentionally checking his location to make sure he wasn’t lying when he said he was tired but last weekend I tried to add someone I met through a dating app on Snapchat and accidentally opened snap map and saw he was at my friends’(who I also asked to hangout) condo. Then last night same thing happened I asked to hangout they said no I’m tired/not feeling well whatever. My brother wasn’t answering his phone and my mom was just wondering where he was (we are friends on find my friends) so I check to see where he is and they are both hanging out without me again.
They have a little bit of a fwb situation going on so I understand them wanting to hangout alone/without me but I’d rather them not lie about it. I have on more than one occasion said that I hate when people lie about why they can’t do something I’d rather them just say “I don’t feel like it tonight” or “we were gonna hangout alone tonight”. It’s not like they keep their fwb situation under wraps or anything they’re very open about it. I just hate being lied to.
AITA for being pissed not that they’re hanging out without me but that they’re lying to me about it?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "being frustrated at a 14 year old girl who constantly talks about her personal problems",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for being frustrated at a 14 year old girl who constantly talks about her personal problems?
|
This is my first post (and on mobile) so apologies if it looks weird. This happened over the course of about a month in a discord server I am in. For privacy reasons, I won't directly quote messages sent and for context, I am 17.
A couple of weeks ago, someone joined a server my boyfriend and I are in and started talking about how much life sucks. He was (and still is) going through a lot of personal issues since he came out to his parents a few days before and they didn't take it well. They talked about how much life sucks which is all fine every once in a while.
This fourteen year old girl, who I will call X, is still pushing her personal problems into our lives. The other day, I learned she is in middle school. This is important later. She talked to us about a manipulative ex she met online and when I tried to tell her to block him and tell an adult, she refused to take the advice. This was slightly frustrating, but I didn't think much of it. Another time, X was describing a suicide attempt which was extremely uncomfortable for me to hear. She talked about getting drunk and getting arrested and it's all seeming like a huge grab for attention to me which I really do not like. At one point, she sent a picture of pills mixed in with alcohol and I was really tempted to her to stop it and get professional help since the oldest person in the server is 17.
In the server, we like to make fun of middle schoolers. A lot. We just have a distaste for the age group and make jokes about it. Typically, we tend to joke about the ones who hate life because of every little thing. X is exactly the type of person we joke about which only fuels our fire so we say things like "Mom told me I have to get off my phone at 8. Ugh. I hate my life," but it never crosses any lines like suicide jokes and whatnot. We also mentioned to her that she is a stereotypical middle schooler.
Yesterday, X talked about how an essay she wrote got her sent to guidance. At this point, I was extremely frustrated with her so here's what happened:
Me: Cool. Have fun.
X: I won't
Me: That was a nice way of saying I honestly don't care about your problems and I have no idea why you're talking about them here.
After that, she only said sorry and left which made me feel a bit guilty for being so blunt but I have problems in my own life and don't want to hear about some stranger's.
Admittedly, I have been speaking to her a lot more bluntly and harshly lately since it's annoying that she only gets on to talk about herself and not have a nice time. I'm starting to worry that since I'm doing that, I'm being an asshole to her. If her problems are real, then I could only be adding to it by being harsh. I want her to get help if she is depressed. However, I am not a therapist. I am just a 17 year old guy.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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adzpj4
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{
"description": "ending a friendship with my ex after seeing something I shouldn't have",
"pronormative_score": 26,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For ending a friendship with my ex after seeing something I shouldn't have?
|
My ex of 3 years and I broke up about two months ago, at her request. We've tried being friends, and up until this incident it was going fairly well. We'd still hang out and attend events together sometimes, still game together at times, grab lunch and that sort of friendship stuff.
The other day I went for a walk through an old unused road with a lookout point that her and I used to visit when we were together. It's a peaceful, private place and I figured it'd be nice to read there alone for awhile. When I reached the clearing I seen my ex's car parked there, which I thought was awesome timing and we could hang for a bit. As I walked closer I realized she was on the backseat, clearly having sex with some guy.
I feel like a ton of bricks has been dropped onto my chest. I thought for sure I was over her and happy with just being friends, but seeing her with another man made me realize I still have feelings for her. **Before anyone gets preachy, I know she's free to do what she wants, she owes me nothing, who she sleeps with is none of my business**, but it still hurt to see and now I know I'm not as over her as I thought.
I figured that since I can't shake this feeling and don't think platonic friendship is something I can handle with her, it would be most fair to her to go my own way because she shouldn't have to deal with being friends with an ex who wants more from her, and it isn't fair to me to stay in a friendship where I'm feeling hurt. So I told her the truth, not about what I seen but that I realized I still have feelings for her and while I care about her a lot and wish her the best, I think it'd be best for both of us if we go our separate ways. She flipped out, said I was being unfair and that "I already agreed to be friends", so here I am.
AITA for thinking we should probably cut ties?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "telling my mom we are no longer on talking terms for giving my sister an ultimatum",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for telling my mom we are no longer on talking terms for giving my sister an ultimatum?
|
I’m on mobile so sorry!
So first off I’d like to say that my mom throughout my childhood was a great mother. Still is, just I think something has unhinged in her brain the last 5 years.
About 4 ish years ago, my mom cheated on my dad with his long time best friend. Baffled would not come close to describe how me and my sisters felt.
Now, I do believe that my parents were great together because they were great parents. They got married because my mom got pregnant with me in their early 20s. They popped out two more over the years and as we all grew older I noticed how different my parents were. One was introverted one was extroverted.
However, her cheating on my dad (something she has always preached against “I just don’t understand why the person wouldn’t just leave their partner first”) with a guy who is an alcoholic (her own father was an alcoholic) and blaming my dad for pushing him to his arms (he would encourage them hanging out since he doesn’t like bars) has really strained her and my relationship.
Still love her though. Still talk to her.
BUT my middle sister is getting married in October and does not want that guy “Chad” there. Doesn’t like him. Understandable. But my mom CANNOT accept that we are not ready to accept him. My sister has made it clear that other family gatherings he can attend but just not her wedding. Then my tells us a couple weeks ago that her and “Chad” are getting married in April. So he HAS to be able to come now right?
My sister still says no.
So what does my mom say to her?
“If he can’t come, I am not going to come.”
When my sister told me she said this, I RAGED. I am the oldest and just knowing how she hurt my sister, all of my protective instincts came out and I almost drove 13hrs to yell at her face! I haven’t talked to her yet because only disrespect will come out of my mouth towards her.
I don’t want her in my life anymore. She crossed the line by just saying that to my sweet sister.
Oh and since my mom won’t go that means her sister (my aunt) won’t go either. So that’s half our family that my sister won’t have at her wedding over this.
Am I over reacting? I love my mom but I cannot have a conversation from this point on without disgust dripping off every word. WIBTA for cutting all contact with my mom?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
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}
|
RIGHT
|
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|
{
"description": "asking my fwb to buy me a new mattress cover",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 33
}
|
AITA for asking my FWB to buy me a new mattress cover? (NSFW)
|
*Heads up-- some folks my find this a little gross because it involves anal sex and shit*
I (M, 25) have been hooking up with a friend of mine (M, 29) on and off for a while now. We've both been pretty explicit about the fact that we are friends with benefits, and nothing more. Just in case you need context for our relationship.
He came over to my place and we started to have sex. For the uninitiated, sometimes the recipient of anal sex needs to prepare by cleaning out their rectum (not always necessary if you have the right diet for the record). He told me he was prepared, so we went at it, and one thing leads to another, and I look down and see his shit squirted out a little. In the process the fitted sheet came undone, so there was shit on my sheet and the mattress itself. In all fairness, it wasn't a lot, and it was pretty diluted by the lube. Still though, pretty gross.
When I saw what happened, I was instantly turned off. I told him "hey, I think I'm done" and he looked down and started apologizing. I told him it's okay, and it happens, but at the same time I was gagging, almost dry heaving, at the sight of it. So I ran over to my closet and tossed him a towel and asked him to clean it up. I couldn't even look so I told him I'd meet him in the shower when he was done.
He joined me in the shower and we made out a bit, but we didn't do anything sexual beyond that. We hung out for a bit after that and watched tv, but I could tell he was uncomfortable. Eventually he got home and then texted me saying how embarrassed he was. I told him that there was nothing to be embarrassed about and that was that.
I washed my sheets thoroughly in hot water, and that definitely took care of any germs or stains. My mattress cover was plastic though, so it wasn't washable. I went out to buy a new one. When I did, I texted this guy asking if he would be okay paying for it. It only cost $8. Then he responded "I said I was sorry. Didn't realize it was such a big deal to you." I felt bad about putting him on the spot like that so I said "How about you just buy me a drink next time we go out?" He responded "I don't know if I want to go out again. You really made me feel like shit over a normal bodily function. I was so embarrassed." And that was that...
I get he was embarrassed, but I feel like he's overreacting here. Am I way off base?
**tl;dr:** The guy I'm hooking up with got his shit on my mattress cover. He was really embarrassed and my reaction clearly didn't help the situation. I asked him to pay for a new one, and he said I was being petty because it didn't cost a lot.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
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|
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{
"description": "just saying I was allergic to a certain ingredient, instead of just asking for it to be taken off",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 18
}
|
WIBTA if I just said I was allergic to a certain ingredient, instead of just asking for it to be taken off?
|
Everytime I go to a restaurant and order a burger, I always order the burger with just patty, cheese, bun, nothing else, nada. 9/10 I get the order back with everything I asked not to be on the burger. And no, I can't just take it off the burger, because in the time it took to get here, the tomato and pickle already spread its juicy plague all over the burger, and it tastes bad. Would I be the Asshole if I just said I was allergic, ensuring that the burger will come out correctly?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 18
}
|
WRONG
|
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|
arf4z9
|
{
"description": "telling my depressed friend I couldn't keep helping her",
"pronormative_score": 22,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if i told my depressed friend I couldn’t keep helping her?
|
This is sorta me searching for advice, sorta me trying to see whether or not I’m a total ass for thinking these things.
Im in my third year of high school and one of my best friends has been depressed for as long as I’ve known her. I’ve talked her out of two suicide attempts and have forced her to go talk to someone when she was having a really bad self harm episode.
She gets irritated really quickly, leaving me for days and calling me an asshole before texting me at night and telling me how much of a terrible person she thinks she is.
She even went so far as to dig her nails into my hand and cut me when I tried to offer her a hug.
This has been going on since I joined my high school.
It hadn’t stopped.
I feel so bad for even considering telling her that I can’t keep helping her... I’ve tried to be as nice and patient as possible, but I don’t know how I can help someone who’s actively hurting me/making me feel shitty.
So, would I be an asshole for telling my friend that I can’t keep helping her, even though she’s severely depressed?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "telling my boss my coworkers are mean to me",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling my boss my coworkers are mean to me?
|
I started to work in a store a year ago. We are unionized. A lot of people have been working here for years/decades. Those people have some sort of "old people club" where they gossip, nag a lot and act like they own the place. They specifically hate my manager(M) because she got the job pretty young, after being here for only a year. I refused to gossip about M because I've never seen her being unreasonable. They seemed a little pissed by it, but I didn't want to bully her.
​
M accepted to show me manager work to help my career because I was working hard and kept doing overtime (we were understaffed).
​
One day the director of the store gave me a check (50$) saying I was doing a good job. Other people working there learned about it and became mean to me. M learned about it from another employee and told the director about it. They seemed to kept an eye on me. People stopped being mean after a while.
​
Here is where I feel like I've been an asshole. One day, a guy shouted at me because I was putting a (small) stand from my department in his. I had never been rude to him at all, so I was pissed to be talked to like that. I told M. I think she then told the director because the next day the guy was acting "nice" to me (which felt fake).
​
A few months after, I got a small raise. I had a girl from my department asking me about it. She was obviously pissed. She had the habit of not coming to work without telling anyone when she's angry about something like it. I told M so we can organise the next day just in case. M was really pissed and said that the person who deals with pays had leaked information before. So she wanted to make a complain (in my name I think). The pay person became "fake" nice to me (and seemed pissed too).
​
On Monday, there was this girl that I was friendly with who passed by me. She asked me very meanly if I had done some platters we had to make. I knew the girl, I knew she tended to be moody, and I didn't want to create more problems so I decided to reply to her with the same tone she used with me, but not tell M or anyone about it. As I walked off after replying, I saw another manager was near us.
​
After that, everybody has been VERY cold to me (like not even saying hi). I overheard two girls talking, one who's a new employee and used to be nice to me until then. From what I heard (I was on the other side of the room), it has been about the girl I just talked about, and another girl (who I guessed was myself). The new girl was like "I never would have guessed she was like that".
​
Though it doesn't explain why the girl was suddenly mean to me, I guessed that the manager heard us, told the boss, the girl got in trouble and told everybody.
​
​
So I'd like to know if I was an asshole, and if ever you feel like it, what I should have done in those situations because I don't know what I'm supposed to do.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "asking my mum to be nice to me",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for asking my mum to be nice to me?
|
Long story, but I think i need a fresh pair of eyes to tell me who is wrong here.
I'm 14M and my mum is 48F.
My mum talks a lot of shit about me in front of my face and behind my back, E.G saying that i'm stupid, telling people that i think i'm always right (i get a lot of things wrong, and i apologise almost immediately for them), telling all her friends the worst about me all the time, and it has led to a few of her friends to build up genuine resentment for me even though i've never been in contact with them.
I've been trying to get my mum to say nice things about me to me and her friends for a while now. She hasn't listened so far.
Fast forward to yesterday, i did about 8 hours of work out in my garden with my sister (15F) and one of my mum's friends. It was just general garden work, picking up things to take to the dump, etc... I got tired at about 10PM and i asked to go inside (i fall asleep at about 11 every night). My mum tells me no, i can stay out to do more work. But my mum and my sister are sat around a small bonfire we made. I was only doing small jobs at that point but i was exhausted. I later went inside to go to bed.
This morning, i woke up with a bit of pain from general strain. I mention it to my mum just as a passing comment, and she goes off on a tangent about how i'm unfit and i need to do more around the house (i help more often than my sister currently, she's doing her exams).
Maybe five minutes later, i ask her why she constantly says bad things about me. I add to this, "whenever i ask you about it, you either say that i'm trying to start an argument, or you downright deny it." Guess what? She does both, immediately. Tells me that she doesn't, then says "stop trying to start arguments." I call her out on it. "There you go again." She denies it again.
At this point, she's shouting at me.
She shouts at me about about how i always say the same thing over and over again. I say that I ask her things like this because she doesn't listen. She says she listens all the time.
I tell her about how she treats my sister better than me, backing it up with the fact that she still tells all her friends that my sister got nominated for an award, even though she didn't win and that she was nominated for it almost a year ago.
She says that she doesn't. (she does, i heard her talking about it yesterday morning.)
I then compare it to how she still talks about m being a complete moron for accidentally putting my SIM card in my phone wrong at christmas.
She then says: "you always think you're right, don't you? I haven't said either of those things in months!"
I tell her that she was on the phone yesterday.
"You shouldn't have earwigged!" I was next to her when she was talking.
I leave.
Mum then shouts at me for "running off to your computer like you always do". I reply with "Well if you weren't mean to me all the time maybe i'd stay downstairs."
Who was the asshole in the situation? Me or my mother?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
OlLKO7GQTS6hcVJT78g5yxd4AZe71jIA
|
aj8i4a
|
{
"description": "telling my girlfriend to be more careful with my stuff",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for telling my girlfriend to be more careful with my stuff ?
|
So i was about to stream on twitch and was setting up my green screen and asked my girlfriend if she would push it over more in doing so the top bar flung down at me and startled me as it almost hit my computer screen dead on in the moment i said "Without breaking anything...jesus....Be more gentle" she then proceeded to being super moody and angry at me which resulted in me ending my stream cause i hate when the mood is crap and doesnt make me want to do anything...then she proceeds to cry and tell me that I screamed at her ... and now i feel like a giant dick but I dont think i was that bad... ?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
IPu3wP9fjZXVJLhousIvjrX9vFAbFejh
|
a8wffh
|
{
"description": "not wanting to meet my girlfriend's racist and emotionally manipulative Father",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to meet my girlfriend's racist and emotionally manipulative Father?
|
On mobile and I'm sorry for formatting.
Some backstory:
I've been with my SO for three years now going well into our fourth. I am Filipino/Vietnamese and she has a Greek/Italian background. When we started dating I couldn't meet her parents because they originally disapproved of her dating someone that wasn't of European decent and so we had to keep our relationship quiet. Her Mum caught on but we then found out she doesn't mind us dating as long as her daughter is happy. She only took on that mentality because of her husband and upbringing but had since moved on from it and changed her mentality. But her Dad has been a struggle. My SO has tried telling him on multiple occasions that we were in a relationship and every time she brought up the subject of dating, he would always mention that dating someone out of their original race or skin colour was a bad thing because you're not respecting your heritage and he would sometimes even get angry and threaten suicide if he found out anyone in the family was dating someone of a different ethnicity. Throughout the years her Dad has been abusive and emotionally manipulative. He has OCD and gets everyone to do work for him around the house and things like that because he has a lot of triggers for it. He has always blamed someone or something else when things go wrong and has never thought to look inward and take the blame. He once got violent after she came home late because she was out with me and a few mates. He knew I was a close friend and definitely did not want me dating his daughter and would call me really shitty and derogatory names according to my SO.
Recently in the past year her Dad had been kicked out of the house and after an incident that turned violent in the house involving my SO's Dad and her Brother. He is now cut off from the family and my SO is the only who talks to him now. She has since told him of our relationship. She mentions every now and then her Dad wants to take us out to concerts and events and things like that, I laugh it off and make a joke about not wanting to go, but I'm still really hesitant to talk to the him or even meet him. A month ago he popped up to visit us out of nowhere and without warning and I had a panic attack and ran upstairs to our apartment and just freaked out and ignored her Dad. My girlfriend is starting to catch on and is actually wanting me to meet with him and try to bury the hatchet. I think that I am overreacting because he might actually be trying to fix his past mistakes but he still refers to me as "The Asian" instead of my actual name and seeing shit like that bothers me. I also don't want him around because from the texts I see he threatens suicide every time he doesn't get his way. I love my girlfriend and I would do anything for her, but I'm finding it so hard to find the courage to actually go out with her Dad. So am I the asshole for not wanting to meet him or have him around in our lives?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
Hj2LDzqI822GfYEA1EfPwwKYg5qbYmqT
|
b53vmm
| null |
AITA for how I approached this situation with my former friend?
|
I had a close friendship that recently ended. I’m looking to find out if I was unreasonable or reasonable.
Friend and I talked everyday, throughout the day. We have an argument one day and she ends it saying that we’re never going to agree on it. I say okay, let’s not talk about it. A few days later I message her again with a different topic, about my upcoming visit to the city she lives in, she gives a short response (okay lmk basically), I provide more details to try and continue the conversation, she doesn’t respond. She seems not upset but also not excited.
She starts posting a lot daily on Instagram story, which is important to me because we used to send each other a copy/message of everything we post on instagram, so it’s clear she’s stopped doing that.
At this point I don’t know what’s going on, and it feels like she’s distanced herself from me/iced me out. She is not the type of person to go without responding to messages, so it seems intentional. Going from talking everyday to being pushed away is a big change and I begin to think she doesn’t want to be friends anymore based off that.
Two weeks pass. I message her asking to talk. She responds ok let’s talk. I ask her if my impression is right: we had an argument and she doesn’t want to talk to me anymore. She says yeah, sounds about right, and then follows with a message that I hurt her in the argument. I apologize for hurting her, say I wish she would’ve told me earlier, and wish her a good life.
To me, saying that you don’t want to talk to me anymore after pushing me away for weeks means that you don’t want to be friends. I don’t half ass friendships; we are or we aren’t. We’re nearly in our mid 20s so we’re not teenagers, and it felt a lot like she was either rejecting me as a friend through the slow ghost or waiting for me to apologize, without saying anything about how she was upset.
Now according to a mutual friend she feels wronged by the argument, and by a previous one we had months ago (which was not brought up once since or was explained to me how important it was), and feels like I’m the one who ended the friendship because of my last message. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
1lQuBtwhiyO2MCLeXQpIfICK0yCZFMou
|
agf3de
|
{
"description": "possibly ruining my friendship with someone",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for possibly ruining my friendship with someone
|
This one takes a bit of explaining so get ready.
​
I have a group of online friends i like to play video games with. Over Christmas break I went on vacation and couple of my friends (lets call them Sue and Joe for the sake of anonymity and to make events easier to follow I would also like to note Joe is Finnish because this will become important later) played a lot of games together and spent a lot of time talking with each other. When I got back from my vacation sue started ignoring Joe's messages and his invites to play games with us. Even when Joe and I would go play on a TF2 server the entire friend group was a regular on she would act like Joe was not there, and ignore his in-game chat messages.
​
This went on for a couple of days until one day Sue responded to Joe's invite to play Exploding Kittens via tabletop simulator with himself and I. One of her friends who occasionally joined the group for Scriblio also joined we will call him Dan. Dan and Sue were silent most of the time we played together and both often ignored Joe's comments. It turned out Sues computer was over-heating and had connection issues so she rebooted her computer and Joe deleted an in-game tablet that could be used as a browser to make the game less demanding on Sues laptop. Later in the night Dan wrote a word in Finnish on the game table using the in game drawing tool. Joe asked Dan if he knew what that meant, and Dan and Sue ignored Him.
​
By this point Joe and I were both very angry. I asked Sue if i could talk to her later, and she said sure. We played one more round, and Dan and Joe left. I asked Sue if she had some sort of problem with Joe. After struggling to explain to me what was going on she eventually told me she had some issues crop up in her personal life, and put on a more friendly persona and played a lot more games in order to cope. She also said she had been trying to cut back on her time spent gaming for a while and decided to stop playing as much around the time I got back. Lastly Sue said that she struggled to express her thoughts and feelings which was why she ignored Joe so much and didn't come on our groups discord as much to talk. Sue just didn't know how to explain this to Joe or anyone else.
​
I relay this information to and sue messages him soon after. At this point it was midnight for me and 7 am for Joe. He and Sue agreed to talk about it the next day. The next day (last Sunday) Joe and Sue talk for a bit and work everything out. Joe and I were still a bit angry and I had some trouble buying her story. When i got home from classes yesterday I was considering cutting off my friendship with Sue, because she was still ignoring Joe even when we were on the same TF2 server. I didn't want to associate with someone who in my opinion treated people so disrespectfully.
​
I told Joe that I think Sue treated him like shit, and that I was considering cutting off my friendship with her. Later that night my monitor stopped working, so I went to bed. Joe went to go talk to Sue and in that conversation Joe told Sue I felt like Sue treated him like shit. Sue said that really hurt her, and Joe immediately regretted saying it offering to call her. Sue declined saying "you don't want to hear me cry". A few minutes later Sue calls Joe still crying, and explains she thought they had worked everything out. Joe offers to contact me, but Sue says she appreciates Joe telling her this, and says she will contact me when she is ready. I get home today and she has unfriended me on steam.
​
Even though Joe shouldn't have told Sue what I said I still feel really bad as I made Sue cry. I feel like I should've realized that what I said would have hurt her since she has so much trouble expressing her feelings. I want to contact her but I feel as though she has made her stance clear. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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"OTHER": 2,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
0LgNR3EiXLj7kX3AIKTcgfGInumoONbk
|
b4cdoc
|
{
"description": "getting mad at my parents for expecting to play on something I own when I say no",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 11
}
|
AITA for getting mad at my parents for expecting to play on something I own when I say no?
|
Hey guys, I’m going to keep this short, My parents bought me a Nintendo Switch last year, but I decided I want to sell it to get a 3DS (Sue me because it has games like Tomodachi Life) and so I told my parents about it and they said no, because I’ll want it after I sell it so I won’t, and they also said that they are going to use it at family gatherings, so I politely told them that it was mine and I wanted to sell it so I wasn’t going to let them use it, and they said “Well we payed for it so we own it” When I reminded them that they gifted it to me they told me to shut up or I was going to get grounded. I don’t feel like this is fair, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ so, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
nnxyI3hYus4GhUfmEQhco33xj0Euw9O4
|
a54inh
|
{
"description": "thinking about bailing on my mom",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for thinking about bailing on my mom
|
English is not my primary language so please keep up with me here. So here's the thing.
Earlier this year my father went to prison for some political shit here on my country, so after the initial shock my brother and me took over the family business. My mom was worrying all the time about what would we eat and that stuff so we welcomed her into the business as well so she could have some peace of mind. Here is where shit hits the fan.
​
She started micromanaging everything and pressuring my brother and me, above all that she started taking all the money from bank accounts and basically hoarding every single penny up to the point that my brother and me having to go to her to pay the bills, like to the providers and all. And let's not even talk of taking something for us, like you know a salary, she pays salaries to the other employees but we are left out to the extent that I now have another job, and I have to work GY because if not I wont have time to take care of the business.
​
I have been thinking of just give up on all business related activities and focusing on my current job to see if I can grow here and let my mother take care of the business if she can. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
CNRbvsRFABVixc8C8ua0Fnb4aRQy8rrz
|
b7oxed
|
{
"description": "not wanting my parents to stay with me if they retired and I got my own place",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting my parents to stay with me if they retired and I got my own place?
|
Apologies for any odd formatting, I'm on mobile.
Some background:
I am 19 (turning 20 in a couple months) and I have relied on my parents for most of my life. They are pretty protective. I guess they can also be referred to as helicopter parents? They didn't let me take the bus or walk home until halfway through highschool, they just insisted that they drive me everywhere. They almost didn't allow me to get a part-time job in my last year of highschool, it took a lot of persistence. I'm almost 20 and I have to be home by 10 PM or else they keep blowing up my phone with texts and calls. For a majority of my life, I have had to share a room with my sister (until she went to university).
Anyways, as I have gotten older I have been wanting more and more independence. It was only when I started university that I felt like I had more freedom (to an extent).
--
So, a couple of weeks ago, my parents and I were in the car and they brought up that they were looking to buy a house. My mom said that if they bought a house, it would be for me to live in so long as I give them a place to stay (ie. the basement).
I told them that I appreciate the fact that they would buy a house for me but I would prefer to experience living on my own for once in order to gain some independence. My mom got upset and told me that I am ungrateful and disrespectful for not wanting to let them stay with me if we got a new place.
I told her that it wasn't fair that my older sister (28) was able to experience living on her own/away from them during her college years and they made me go to school locally so I could stay home. I also said that I wouldn't be opposed to the idea of letting them live with me if it were further down the line, but I would much rather experience living on my own/with roommates first.
So, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
jll15k4FJC3bo4bGMPqHSlvl2wfCm1kW
|
b7ikm1
|
{
"description": "telling a Jehovah's Witnesses lady that her religion is evil",
"pronormative_score": 26,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA I told a Jehovah's Witnesses lady that her religion is evil
|
JW is kind of cult like and are known for their abuse so fuck them. I am aware the members may not be aware of this so I usually tolerate them and excuse myself. I haven't seen them around in a few years so I was surprised when I saw one in front of my house. I was going to ignore it but she literally said my name and that my car was here so I was a bit freaked. Turns out it was one that came and gave me her number after 5 minutes of JW jargon a few years back. She apparently wanted to tell me about it more, though I already told her I am not interested in religion. She came because she wanted to try again since I was probably "too shy" to call her.
Back then I was more patient but now I didn't have the time to listen to her so I told her I wasn't interested and to have a good day. This only made her want to explain more. I've had this debate too many times so I didn't even respond. She went off and I tuned her out until she asked to come in. Obviously I didn't want crazy in my house so that was a big no but I understand that she probably been in the house (my dad can't say no to these people) so she didn't think it would be a big deal.
She wanted an explanation, I already told her again that I was not interested in religion and she wanted to know why. She kept trying to guess what happened to me ( media, friends, abuse). She asked about abuse to a literal stranger it! It is weird because JW is known for abuse then using religion to blame them. I kept saying it was just not my thing but she didn't accept that so I said "In my opinion religion is evil, especially yours". That...did not go very well. She wasn't angry just very sure that I was confused and something must have happen to me. I basically told her I had something to do and quickly close the door.
I don't know what I could've done! I tired to give a simple answer but she wouldn't just accept it.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 26,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
hkCOIRj7AHbkrUWb2nBnaeDZTBGjSUCz
|
a91quy
|
{
"description": "wanting to cut off a person",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to cut off a person
|
A couple months ago i broke up with my girlfriend because she cheated on me twice. I have moved on since then, but she hasn't and attempts to call me to try to convince me that we should get back together because she realized that i was a good person to her and that it was wrong to cheat and that her life has fallen apart starting when i left her. She got kicked out of her parents home(i don't know why), almost lost her job and recently came to me telling me that she's suicidal. She came to my house and kept trying to talk to me, but i told her she's not my problem anymore and i don't have to be concerned about her. I eventually gave in when she said she's suicidal and wants someone to talk to her. I said that i would try to help, but it turned into her calling me when im with my family and friends, she calls me randomly at night because she feels lonely, she calls and messages me until i answer her call to try to get me to get back with her and when i don't answer she tells me she's suicidal and that she's cutting. After a month of this im growing tired of it and dread every time i get a phone call because i know it's her. I want to stop talking to her, but at the same time i don't want someone to die over me. She calls me every day and i just don't want to talk to her anymore, it exhausts me and doesn't stop until i answer. Am i the asshole for wanting to stop talking to her?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 11,
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
2UwX6F3ufaSzGKgDi2JlAMMHX6d3CRUV
|
b5wuws
|
{
"description": "leaving my friend and his girlfriend at the pool",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for leaving my friend and his girlfriend at the pool?
|
So my roommate and his girlfriend are really lovey-dovey couple which is fine by me it’s just I don’t want to be around him in public or not even in private when you’re doing lovely Dovie stuff .we were at the pool and it was fine at first until my friend and his girlfriend started talking to each other close and intimately for like 15 minutes while I just laid there.I felt uncomfortable and embarrassed because there was a lot of people at the pool that can see me just there feeling all awkward.So I couldn’t take it anymore I said I was just going to go back inside.He asked me why I was being this way today because I didn’t want to drink either.I don’t like to drink with them because it usually just me there alone while they do couple stuff and go upstairs and bang while I remain downstairs.Not to mention I got a date tomorrow so I want to make sure my mind is clear and I have a good vibe when I’m with her.(alcohol makes me feel like shit the next day)I denied going to the movies with them too because that’s another big third wheel situation.Am I a douche for abandoning them without an explanation.besides just saying I’m tired.The reason I didn’t explain was because it makes me feel like a loser having to explain I’m insecure and uncomfortable that I don’t like being third wheeled
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
diaCf1yDwqAyopA2CuVll3D4DVnfsBcC
|
an94c2
|
{
"description": "not telling my parents about my mental health problems",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not telling my parents about my mental health problems?
|
So, I'm legally an adult, living on my own. My parents are divorced, with new spouses.
I started seeing my school's psychologist last fall because I had become very uninterested in living, I felt sad and self harmed. I had waited for almost a year to turn 18 before I went to see her, so my parents wouldn't be told about me cutting.
I'm not close with my parents, but I'm now planning on starting medication and theraphy. As I'm planning on taking these bigger steps to getting help, I feel terrible about keeping them in the dark, so to speak.
The psychologist has suggested that I invite my parents to a meeting with her to let them know how I'm doing, but it makes me anxious to even think about it.
So AITA if I don't tell them and start medication/theraphy, or should I invite them to a meeting with the psychologist to tell them what's going on even if it makes me super nervous?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
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}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
z2jNUsuR0WbfM7MdU3ZcpxdzDRomel2s
|
aktyl1
|
{
"description": "telling my boyfriend's friends that I cam",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA for telling my boyfriend's friends that I cam?
|
So my boyfriend of a few months knows that I cam on the side to make ends meet. He hates it and he has been trying to convince me and show me different avenues to make more money. He has been nice about it, in the sense that he has never given me an ultimatum or been "naggy" about it. He just REALLY doesn't like the idea of a bunch of guys seeing me naked. (side note: I have thought about quitting but it is easy money and hard to walk away from).
So anyway we were hanging out with a few of his friends (and drinking pretty heavily) and one of them says to my boyfriend something along the lines of, "Well at least at the end of a shitting day you get to go home and see her naked!"which I responded with, "well you are a quick google search away from being able to do the same thing!"
I don't think his friends took me seriously but it really pissed my boyfriend off. He yelled at me telling that I already know how he feels about it and that it is bad enough that strangers see me naked and he couldn't believe I would invite his friends to do the same.
But he knew what I did before we started dating and he knows that as of now I need people to find me to make sure ends meet.
So am I the asshole for half jokingly telling my boyfriends friends that I cam?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 9
}
|
WRONG
|
DdzIuZJI6Rkjs0tBaTJRtL2g5ZhTEjc2
|
b17v06
|
{
"description": "not paying my sisters phone",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA - Not paying my sisters phone
|
My parents left the country a while ago, my sister and I stayed behind to pursue college and work, respectfully. I am living pay check to pay check. My parents decided it would be too much of a hassle to keep paying for my sisters phone every month on their own account, so they asked if I would allow my sister to come onto my plan. They said they would cover the cost of her phone (extra $20 a line). I agreed
I have never received a single payment from my parents regarding my sisters phone plan but I went with it anyway without complaining, it didn't matter to me. Now comes the list of all of the shit I've had to put up with:
She went over the data limit a few times. The worst was 3 GB over because she decided she wanted to watch Netflix on her way down to Florida on a trip.
She started using the "Charge my phone" option when buying things on the app store. She racked up a $70 charge to my bill while playing some stupid game on her phone.
When she went home during the holidays, she wouldn't notify me ahead of time so I would get stupidly insane international charges. At one point I had a bill for over $700 for a month and a half worth of usage.
A few months after the conversation with my parents happened, my sister's phone broke while she was home for the holidays. So she called me asking for me to get her a replacement phone, so I did. However, Verizon determined it was caused by her misuse after talking to her about it and refused to give one for free. My parents decided she should just get a new phone. So they went on the Verizon website, I gave them my account details (I know right, I fucked up) and they bought her a new phone. Now I was under the impression, they were buying her a new phone with THEIR money. Instead, I come to find that they actually chose the monthly payment plan on a new iPhone 10 for her. I didn't find out until I was billed $83 extra on my next phone bill. I called them and asked why they didn't pay, they said they didn't have enough money to pay it out right and that they would pay me for the phone. I asked them why she didn't buy one of Verizon's refurbished phones and apparently my sister said that she had cleared buying the iPhone 10 with me before they bought it, and that she also had my permission to do the payment plan. I, in no way, gave her permission, I wouldn't have, I can't afford to.
I coaxed my sister into coming to the Verizon store with me one day recently, under false pretenses because she wouldn't have come otherwise. I made her sign up for her own phone plan, return the iPhone 10 (because she couldn't afford it) and I bought her an iPhone SE. So I'm free of her for now. My parents got wind and are furious with me because now my sister has to spend her own money on her phone instead of mine. My phone bills have gone from $100+ a month down to $45, I have a little more breathing room.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
yk5EPNCeTfPIkOI6EIKYn8yrUBZqfpVj
|
9t66pq
|
{
"description": "telling a woman to stop cussing around a bunch of kids",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA, for telling a woman to stop cussing around a bunch of kids?
|
Basically as the title says..
Took my little cousin trick or treating tonight around my neighborhood (which is very active.) We stopped at a cross walk with around 20 other kids and parents and waited while cars were passing. The whole time we wait, a woman who appeared to be with her friend and small child is cussing up a storm on the phone. It was so bad I had to stop her and say something:
Me: “ma’am excuse me there are so many children around you, could you plea...”
She then hangs up the phone and directs all anger towards me, telling me how extremely inconsiderate I am and how I need to mind my business. As she walks off a father of another child asks me why I would escalate the situation and cause a scene and the mother agreed. AITA??
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
lPrU5DGB8FTSdsqesyfiTaMaY6z1nXgX
|
a1k4bv
|
{
"description": "stopping associating with a friend group because we can't hangout without being on some type of substance",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I stopped associating with a friend group because we can’t hangout without being on some type of substance?
|
Throwaway account. Let me preface this by saying that I’m a 20 year old guy in college pursuing music production so in a way I guess I sort of feel like I’m being a really lame party pooper for this.
I understand that a music degree by itself won’t land me a “job”, rather I plan on using music school for connections within the industry and professional mentorship, and also to help build my skills as an electronic/alternative musician. That being said I’ve been told that it’s very important to put yourself out there and be social with other people in the industry (musicians, promoters, djs, rappers/vocalists, event planners, etc).
I know not every scene is like this but as a producer from la/Long Beach I typically end up partying/hanging out with a lot of trap/rap producers, hard edm producers, and of course rappers. And boy do they like being all sorts of inebriated. And honestly I’m guilty of it too... on multiple occasions. But I honestly feel like it’s really started to take a toll on my mental health and I just can’t focus on work like I should be able to.
I drink sometimes but weed has usually been my drug of choice, and while I definitely think I’ve been more creative under the influence I’ve never ever been able to finish a song high. And also I’m starting to realize that I’m creative regardless of being faded and it’s just that weed exaggerates my feelings so I always enjoy my music way more while I’m on it, even if it’s just a simple beat or melody.
Another thing is that one of my friends in this group is trying to start a collective sort of thing where we do shows and podcasts and promote our own music on our website and I’m sort of the co founder. We haven’t even had our first show yet but I don’t think I can work with someone who’s been doing drugs since middle school and doesn’t realize most of his problems stem from that. I know that’s probably not a good enough reason to not want to work with someone but he’s super hard headed and impulsive especially when he’s high (which is like almost every day usually) so yeeeah.
As I’m typing this I’m realizing it might be obvious to some, and I’m sure I’ll get responses saying that I can still have the same friends but just refrain from drug use, but you are who you surround yourself with...and I honestly just need someone I can jam/make music with sober or even just go out to lunch for a couple of hours and just talk.
TLDR: I realize I need to be sober for a while but my current friend group was formed on the basis of partying/drinking/smoking, so I’m thinking that hanging around them isn’t exactly in my best interest.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
dKw4LUdGs99bGnIdGZxRzBowSaJgo38w
|
asxktg
|
{
"description": "leaving work when I was scheduled while my boss and coworker had to stay",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for leaving work when I was scheduled while my boss and coworker had to stay?
|
Basically, I work retail, we were putting up new sale tags around the store(a fairly large task for 3 people, there was roughly 1800 tags) I was scheduled 3-close, I left at 9:10 after we closed. On the way out my boss stops me and asks if I’m leaving, I told him yeah, he goes “you’re not gonna stay and help with the tags?” I go “I’ve got plans, I can’t blow my friends off” he goes “I mean, I guess, I wish you would have told me” I go “I’m sorry, but I gotta leave” They stayed until about 11-11:30 putting up tags. AITA for leaving?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
zgxvF7BOHYA0yapl7MafXULuaXTivH93
|
a6cl0w
|
{
"description": "blocking my friend after he asked me on a date to \"get him out of a blind date\"",
"pronormative_score": 19,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for blocking my friend after he asked me on a date to “get him out of a blind date”?
|
This friend/acquaintance (large longstanding friend group) has a history of asking me out every year or so I’ve been single (5 years), often dramatically and uncomfortably. Every time I say no and I don’t think of him that way. All it takes is me being slightly friendly such as a smile or a joke and he does it again.
Today he left me a voicemail. All it said was “Hey, I need your help, call me back if you aren’t busy.”
The fact that it was cryptic made me nervous, but if he was really in need or having an emergency I didn’t want to ignore him.
- I called him back and he immediately said, no nothing is wrong, I just need you to go on a date with me.
- When I expressed frustration, he made some guilt-tripping comments about how I’m disapproving and judging him.
- He said, he’s been set up on a blind date he doesn’t want to go on. He needs to have a date with me as an excuse.
I felt what he did was manipulative and in disregard of boundaries I’ve set out over the years. I told him so and blocked him. I didn’t raise my voice and I wasn’t mean about it, but I was firm and didn’t hear “his side” (he seemed to feel the situation warranted what he did).
What do you think Reddit... AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 19,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 19,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
kWJrEFZpFllnMTtPmLkgd40SejuJagyI
|
a4jlxp
| null |
WIBTA
|
So i got lucky, my daughter is adorable. More than once people have taken pictures and once a video of her without permission (also its not creepily. People just buat out their phones and want to snap her antics and the video was an older lady who was using her phine like a mirror amd just amusing my daughter from the booth behind us at our local botanical garden). That is still weird tho right? Amd i know my daughter is on my wofes Instagram amd my own FB, so she is ONLINE to an extent. But why do other people feel that is okay? Or is it. I dont ever say anything because i feel weird because it isnt creepy. Its other just loving the smile they got and santing to pass it on.. I have yet to be the ass whole, but would i have the right to be the asshole?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
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}
|
RIGHT
|
FVDSLV6XNLH5EnGwxO4ddLjTcpAZBS7N
|
b4o6ds
|
{
"description": "not wanting to do my husband's date night activity",
"pronormative_score": 150,
"contranormative_score": 54
}
|
AITA for not wanting to do my husband's date night activity?
|
My husband [28] and I [29] are in couples therapy and our therapist recommended doing a Friday night date every week. She specifically stated we should try to make it a fun thing, not chores and stuff like that, and go do it even if it might be something one of us doesnt want to do.
We've been doing this for a few months and it's been going great until thursday. It was his week to plan the date. He hints that our fun Friday night date will be dirty. I'm already not thrilled about being dirty but whatever, I'll give whatever it is a shot. I ask if he'll tell me what it is. He says it's a surprise.
Friday comes and he finally tells me what the surprise is. He's going to teach me how to change a tire. And honestly...I was pretty annoyed.
I have a high stress job and I'd been telling him all week how drained I am and how excited I am for Friday and the weekend to be able to relax. I thanked him for wanting to teach me but expressed that I felt duped. This was not anyone's idea of a fun date night activity. And trying to make it a surprise like it would be? I feel like this is a chore and just one more thing I need to do before I can enjoy my weekend. However, he says I'm an asshole because it would have been fun because we'd be together and two because I'm being unappreciative.
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 49,
"OTHER": 117,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
"NOBODY": 33,
"INFO": 4
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 150,
"WRONG": 54
}
|
RIGHT
|
YKbXoZByyV8EhxQAQyKiG2dqcUS2Ml5i
|
b6jgc6
|
{
"description": "listening to music too loud",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 15
}
|
AITA for listening to music too loud
|
I have just been confronted by my apartment building neighbour's friend that live below me for making too much noise the day he is moving out.
​
A bit of context, I live in a apartment with a friend and we are musics and films enthusiast, so we like to listen to music and I myself play a little of acoustic guitar. We have a Ultimate Ears Megaboom speaker that can output approximately 90dBA. So when we arrive, we start at medium sound volume and we increase it from time to time since we didn't have any complaint and sometimes we played it at full volume during party on the weekend so we can understand that it can be loud but we were careful to not let it sit on the ground to avoid vibration.
​
But 6 months after we move in, our neighbour below us is moving out and a friend of him come knocking at our door saying that we were bothering his friend during this time and was pretty angry. We said that we were sorry but he could have come to us to explain the situation before and we would have been polite and decrease the volume so we don't bother anyone. What's bug me is that he never said anything and a friend of him come to us to complain the day he leave.
​
Am I an asshole?
​
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 15
}
|
WRONG
|
VkjDIrnAAeSP37t7DgRiDrCwTo2eKagw
|
av5k8t
|
{
"description": "assuming someone's preference in food",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for assuming someone's preference in food?
|
Some background: I (23F) have been with my fiance (24M) for 4 years. I am Asian and he is essentially Caucasian but does have some middle eastern background. It feels silly to have to mention this but I think it will provide some context with this whole food situation.
So recently we visited his parent's house for dinner and the topic of my partner's birthday came up. Every year, his parent's organise a lunch for his birthday with his immediate family and I. This year he wanted to celebrate his Birthday at a Korean BBQ restaurant however, his parent's reaction seemed a bit negative towards this idea. The conversation then followed as so: Me (me), fiance's mum (FM), finance (F)
FM to F: You need to think about if it will be an appropriate place for everyone that's coming, including us, your sister and her new boyfriend.
​
Me to F: Oh, your sister's bf might not like Korean BBQ, maybe we should choose a different place.
​
FM to me: What do you mean by that? You haven't even met him.
​
Me: Well Korean BBQ can be a bit loud and intense, plus you have to cook your own food. It might not be the best atmosphere to meet him
​
FM: He is actually a really laid back guy. I can't believe you just said this!
​
Me: You're right I have never met him. I guess it's just I think I would feel a bit nervous if I was meeting a bunch of new people in an environment like that eating food I've never tried before.
​
FM: This is unbelievable, you're not even Korean, you can't just assume he won't like it.
​
She seemed really offended by what I said, from what I could gather I think that she thought that I was trying to say he wouldn't like the food due to his race. In reality, I was just trying to be considerate of the dude, so AITA for assuming that he might not like the food? Is what I said offensive?
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
zTSLmsV4NLPhXe1WN8wxt5zElj8XKBDF
|
a049p2
|
{
"description": "not being more romantic with my girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 10
}
|
AITA for not being more romantic with my girlfriend?
|
I love her, of course, but I’ve always been rather introverted and well I went through a divorce that was extremely hard on me. The combination of these two things has made me into a rather inward partner. She gets mad at me and expects me to want to cuddle and say sweet things but I’ve told her time and time again that I just am not capable of that type of affection anymore. She thinks it’s because I’m still in love with my ex but really it’s more what my ex did to me that I don’t have the energy to put myself out that far again. I know it makes my current girlfriend sad, and I don’t want that at all. I just kind of expect her to leave me be and she expects the opposite from me. I feel like she isn’t trying to understand my needs or position but then maybe it’s me who needs to be more understanding? I find myself content in our relationship, I don’t ask her to change anything about herself other than to not get so upset with me for not being more open. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 10,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 10
}
|
WRONG
|
KFf9ePRmX7NfxOcybpqQNAfByv1ClPEu
|
b0umv0
|
{
"description": "treating my bf gaming with his buddies the same as when I hang out with my friends",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA if I treat my bf gaming with his buddies the same as when I hang out with my friends?
|
My partner and I are long distance. I live in a few thousand miles away. A few times a year we visit each other for maybe a few weeks.
The flight costs about $500-1,000. He's paid for his flight everyone he comes here, and I pay for mine every time I go there, except once, which we spilt. I work one a week minimum wage and he works 3 days and earns almost double so it's pretty fair.
The problem for me is, when I go there, he wants to game for 5+ hours with his friends every day. I can't join because there is only one computer and his friends don't have consoles. No split screen games or anything. I've said that if that's the case, I should be able to hang out with my friends while he's here, go out for 5+ hours with them. He says it is not the same because he is in the same room, but mentally he is not with me (he won't respond or anything). I've said 1-2 hours a day would be better but he does not agree and does not want any less time.
I'm fine when he goes to work for 8 hours every 3 days, but I also want to spend as much time as possible with him because of only seeing him a few times a year and paying upwards of $500 and flying 5k miles.
Him gaming is never a problem when we are apart because I have many things to do, and I'm not only there seeing him for a limited time. It wouldn't be a problem if I saw him every day either.
AITA for saying if he games for that long, I should be able to go out and hang out with friends for that long while he's here (even though if I could I wouldn't), and also wanting him to spend less time doing that?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
X5ryksqzaFqhZl07dfD22Q9IGMOraOoa
|
aewohb
|
{
"description": "wanting to avoid autistic class mat after creepy comment",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting to avoid autistic class mat after creepy comment?
|
So I'm in a university for applied sciences (HBO in my country) and in my class there is a guy who has autism, he's honestly really nice but doesn't really know how to handle some social situations.
(We'll call him Jihn)
Everyone knows he has it and it show sometimes with some weird comments in class or in the chat group, most of the time these are fine since we all know about it and usually they are harmless and okay.
But the problem starts here:
One day me and a classmate were going up the escalators to the next lecture, without making a sound John is standing behind us, and he suddenly says:
"I dreamt about you guys."
(He also said it with kind of a creepy smile if that's important)
Now me and my classmate are really weirded out by this, and personally I was kinda creeped out too. My classmate then asks: "What did you dream about us then, John?"
"I dreamt that you guys quit school and that I had to cry."
I know it was meant to be nice and he doesn't mean to be creepy, but I'm still kind of shaken by this. Since the comment a couple of weeks ago, I've kind of been avoiding talking to him.
Am I an asshole for avoiding him for this?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
cK0YCrhdarNfzk73p6KsSsaAQQYZfQiz
|
9y17lv
|
{
"description": "hating my ex with a passion",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for hating my ex with a passion?
|
Around June of 2017, I started talking to this girl. She was very attractive to me, and I wanted to try and date her eventually. Around October, I wound up actually dating her. I was ecstatic! A girl I absolutely fell for was dating me. I felt pure joy.
Around late November, she broke up with me. I was okay with that, as she broke up due to stress. I didn’t want to push her, so I backed off and let her be single. I asked if she would consider dating me when she felt better, and she said yes. I was very happy about that as well.
However, just a little bit later, I wound up dating someone else. The relationship started mid January 2018, and I was very happy in this relationship. Over time, however, I started receiving hate messages via an anonymous message leaving website. I thought nothing of it, (as around that time I had a meme account with around 18k followers on Instagram) so I thought nothing of it. These hate messages started getting personal however, and I started using process of elimination to figure out who it was. Turns out, surprise surprise, it was everyone’s favorite ex. She wound up finding my meme page (i never told her it) and started sending anonymous hate messages that were personal and obviously directed at me (it was a joint meme account).
I immediately blocked her, and since I needed to vent, texted a few friends who knew her. Some of those people started to stop talking to me because they liked her better. The title says I hate her with a passion, and I do. She wound up ruining multiple friendships, and also cheated on me with my girlfriend at the time.
I know this is an obvious question to both, but AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
6JB2FIPOys9WmtBJbmu8sOfshGZ84KTX
|
a30n5t
|
{
"description": "not showing someone else my homework",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not showing someone else my homework?
|
There’s a kid in my Bio class named Grant who’s already taken the course, but he’s doing it again for some reason, so he pretty much knows all of the material and he always gets at least a 90 on his tests even though he doesn’t study.
Today he didn’t do his homework. During the period before bio he asked me to show him my homework, not so he could copy, but so he could see what the questions are. I said I didn’t want to, and he was visibly annoyed but moved on to the next guy.
I’m pretty sure I wasn’t being an asshole here, but is there something else I should have done instead?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
cyWY1i0IT3bIMb0JJQOLYn9U3iugV4fu
|
acy336
| null |
AITA follow up: asking my wife to get an OBGYN checkup
|
I posted a while back about asking my wife to go check checked since we had been unable to conceive for about 6 months of trying. I logged out of reddit after the post and came back to several posts saying I was the asshole, and that I should get checked myself.
I had actually already ordered an at-home semen analysis test prior to posting and it came in a few days ago. I decided to take the test, and found that I had a negative result, meaning that the problem is likely a result of me and not her. She is being supportive of the whole ordeal and I have ordered another one to be sure. I will take it in a few days.
I suppose I was the asshole all along. Wanted to provide a follow up for those who said that I should get checked because I had already planned to. Nevertheless, it is my weight to bare now about seeking treatment and options.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
g2MCm5iyHzyhNTGdQqkFNHB4QTwneNlT
|
aoadwq
|
{
"description": "not wanting my fiancee to dance to a love song dedicated to her late fiance at our wedding",
"pronormative_score": 121,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for not wanting my fiancee to dance to a love song dedicated to her late fiance at our wedding?
|
Before we met, my fiancee Kayla was engaged to a man she had dated for three years who died in a traffic accident. I had never dated a woman who had that kind of loss before, so I've been learning as I go, but I've tried to respect that he will always be a part of her story, and I accepted her relationship with her late fiance's parents with open arms. They stayed very close, and by the time we started dating they were basically like a second set of parents to her. Kayla's real parents and her late fiance's parents are all amazing people, so I consider myself pretty lucky to have two sets of great in-laws.
Our wedding is coming up in May, and Kayla told me that after her father-daughter dance, she would like to have a second dance with her late fiance's father to the song Vanilla Twilight. She asked me if I was comfortable with that, and I didn't want to be "that guy" and say no, so I said yes. But really, it makes me uncomfortable that she would be dancing to a love song dedicated to another man at our wedding. I am happy to make space in our lives for his memory. A photo of him is on our mantle at home, we make it a point to commemorate his birthday the anniversary of his death, and I feel like I am understanding and supportive when she has bad days. And I am 100% fine with having his parents at the wedding because, like I said, we are all a family. But I also feel like our wedding is one day that it all about *our* relationship.
Am I the jerk if I ask her to reconsider this dance? What are the best compromises here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 77,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 44,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 121,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
E9O1nV4K9vXPCb1ENmXNJkec3GGsFgGo
|
azloiv
|
{
"description": "being to tell my dad to stop talking about how much random people like me",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA if I were to tell my dad to stop talking about how much random people like me?
|
So a little backstory:
I have been working during summers in the past 5 years at the local retirement home. This is a small village where almost everyone knows everyone,and of course my dad talks with everyone. During the school year I am away in a city and I dont go home a lot,maybe once a month,but I make sure to talk with my parents once a week.
So for the past 5 months my dad talks about how everyone likes me in the village and they talk about me. Honestly I dont want to hear it. I cant believe that adults with their own lives and familys have time to talk about some kid who doesnt even know them. I just dont believe it,but I dont wanna even imply to my dad he is not telling the truth.
To be fair its really not like he is pushing it that much,we get through the topic in five senteces usually. Its just getting really annoying talking about it every week.
WIBTA if I were to tell my dad to stop talking about this or should I just bite the bullett and hope he will eventually stop?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
WRONG
|
9DeXklHV05uIzLSTpefGca0oxZkss5gR
|
b50skc
|
{
"description": "asking out a friend of a friend who as it turns out he had a crush on",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for asking out a friend of a friend who as it turns out he had a crush on?
|
I've known this Korean guy for a few months now. We go to the same gym at similar times and I used to see him around, so we just got to know each other like that.
We would then hang out more often and I got to know a friend, probably his closest friend actually, of his who is a Korean girl the same age who is also incredibly beautiful. I basically fell in love with her when I first saw her, she's absolutely stunning, her slim, delicate body, her silky, long black hair, her cute face and her adorable smile.
As it turns out she's also incredibly smart and just fun to be with, we even share a couple of interests. I couldn't believe that she didn't have a boyfriend but it made me think that I got to at least try asking her out, even if she'd turn me down which I was sure she would. So the other day I took up all my courage and did and I couldn't believe it when she actually agreed to it and even seemed happy about me asking her.
So we now have our first official date next week. However the next day my friend texted me, calling me an asshole and saying that he didn't want to hang out with me anymore. I was a bit confused at first, turns out he had feelings for her too but never had actually decided to try taking it further than just being friends. I apologized but didn't say I wouldn't go out with her. I can understand his point but he's known her for a long time and had more than enough time to ask her out. He can't blame me for doing so, right?
Just want to get some opinions on this.
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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FV2sjsIXlBhor0gtoSfmEta73QKYWchH
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a26ouf
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{
"description": "not initiating further conversation with a girl I was dating after I confessed my feelings and ahe did not correspond",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not initiating further conversation with a girl i was dating after i confessed my feelings and ahe did not correspond?
|
I wasn't sure what to write as a title to this post so sorry if it is a bit too long, it is my first post here.
Here's the story:
I met a girl on tinder and we talked during the entire summer and really hit it off, I started to like her a lot and we eventually had a date. It was a normal date, we had dinner and watched a movie, it went fine. Due to conflicting schedules, we took a while to schedule a second date but eventually managed, and it also went well. We then went on a third date not long after and at this point I've really fallen for this girl. I talk to my two best friends, they are up to date on the whole thing and think I should go for it on the next date. I'm not a very confident guy so I went until I'm dropping her off at home and then I tell her: I like you, like "like" you, a lot. I know, it was a very teeny way of saying it but I was choking already so it was the only way it came out. She laughed and said "that's normal, I like me too!", kissed me on the cheek and went home. I was half hurt half confused. Like, did she really not understand what I just said?
So I get home and text her and indeed she says she did not understand so I put it the clearest way possible: I'm in love with you. She answers with just "..." And doesn't say anything else until the afternoon of the next day. During the following week I kept talking to her and asking what she meant with that answer, trying to get some closure. In my mind I just wanted her to say no, and I would move on, cause I would still like to have her as a friend. She kept avoiding the issue like a plague, so I decided to let it go and try to keep talking to her like before. She starts answering less and less often, and eventually we go like 4 days without talking.
Then she texts me out of the blue with "I miss you", which just confused me, cause now I'm thinking King again does she like me or not, so I ask her that and she avoids it like before. After 2 days of talking again, very on and off and not much at all, I decide to take my friends' advice and not initiate any more conversation with her. This way I can see how she reacts, and if she doesn't react at all then I'm sparing myself of hurting more.
We go 2 weeks without talking. She didn't text at all. Then yesterday she texts saying something like "are we like this now? Do you not care about me anymore?" And I respond I needed time and space after everything. And she said I abandoned her. I said i moved away because I was hurt by her reaction to my confession and didn't want to get anymore hurt. She said she only reacted the way she reacted because she was scared, and I asked scared of what? And she said "scared that you were like all other boys, that you would be influenced by your friends and turn against me and hurt me". And I said that she had no reason for that, because I had never done anything to hurt her and had always done what I could to make her happy during all those months. And I asked if she liked me back, why did she not say at the time and instead gave me a cold answer. She said she wanted to see if I was different from all other boys, that she wanted me to realize what I was doing and act accordingly and not give up. I was baffled. I said she didn't even give me a chance to show I could be a good boyfriend and she said that was my fault, that I abandoned her.
After this I reiterated that I only did what I did because I was hurt and she said she understands but I shouldn't have acted like I did, to which I replied that her actions weren't the most correct ones either and that she had really hurt me. The closest thing I got to an apology was "I acted wrong, yes, but so did you". I said it was a shame that things turned out the way they happened, to which she replied "yes, it is" and that was it.
Long story, didn't think I would write this much but that's it. Am I in the wrong here? Was it really that bad of me to walk away from a person that had hurt me in order to protect myself? My friends say no, but I'm the kind of guy who really just does anything he can to please someone he likes and most of the times comes out of it hurt or, as my friends say, spineless.
This is probably the first time I really took a stand and was selfish, but I would like to get some unbiased opinion and if possible. If anything is unclear just let me know, thanks
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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|
al6y0s
|
{
"description": "standing up to a School coach",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For standing up to a School coach?
|
FC: Fired Coach AC: A-hole coach ME: Me
Backstory: This coach , along with another coach who was eventually fired , were straight up bullies towards the kids they were responsible for. The one who was fired bullied students and made it hard for us for no reason.
He made fun of a kid who had a kidney disease for asking to not participate in dodge ball because he was having kidney problems. He also made him sit out that day of PE and didn't even allow him to go to the nurse. He later made fun of the same kid for not having a dad. (The kid's dad had died in the military.) After the FC made him sit out , he talked to him for a bit. The situation escalated like this. FC: I'm going to need you to get your dad to sign a note. Kid: I Don't have a daddy. FC: What? Excuse me? Kid: My dad died. FC: HAH! Alright sure , get your MOM to sign this then. (Then commences to lecture him on how he shouldn't lie and how he should respect the coach. Kid is crying at this point and FC gets even angrier.
After this incident me and my friend group were plotting to beat the FC up. Before we could set the plan into motion though , my friend apparently told his grandma everything who then went to the principle and got him fired. That was at the end of that year , so naturally we assumed that we would get a replacement coach, Since there was supposed to 2 because these coaches had to supervise 4 classes , but we ended up only having 1 coach despite the 4 classes. Enter AC. He hadn't been hostile or unfair to us the year before , despite going along with FC's actions. We quickly realized that he wasn't as bad , but he still bullied us. Sorry for the long setup , so here's the story I wanted to tell. It happened around the same time as our school's Christmas play. It had rained outside and they were practicing for the play in the gym , so we just sat in the gym and were told not to talk or get up. So basically this won't make sense unless I explain how we were seated. The boys were next to the girls on the bleachers , only separated by the stairs leading up the bleachers and a wooden fold up table place on the bottom of the stairs. I Had my water bottle with me and was taking a sip every once in a while. Fast forward about 10 minutes and I Had my water bottle sitting by my leg , I moved my foot slightly and accidently knocked it over so I went to pick it up and this girl picked it up and put it on the table. (Quick backstory on this girl: She is a bitch to everyone who isn't a teacher , enough said.) I said , "hey give that back." , then she replied , "You shouldn't have dropped it.". I Then get up and go pick up the water bottle , just as the coach turns around. "You aren't supposed to get up , go to the top of the bleachers." AC said. I Didn't think that I had to , since I did nothing wrong. I Replied , "I Was just getting my water." At this point all 4 grades were looking at us , "You still aren't supposed to get up , now go to the top." he said. "I don't need to because I did nothing wrong, SHE moved my water." , I said pointing at the girl. "Either go up there , or go to the office." . he said , but I stood my ground because I HATE this coach. I Said , "Ok , I'll go." , In the most calm voice I could muster. I Got up and pushed myself under the table and onto the floor without falling and began to walk away. A few people clapped and others complimented me. Now I know that sounds like something strait out of a tumblr story but It actually happened. I Went to the office , explained the situation to the vice principal , who then called my mom and let me explain it to her. We both then went to see the coach , because by the time I was done in the office PE had ended for the day. When talking to the vice principal ,AC lied stating that I didn't say anything about my water bottle. When we left on the way back to the office I explained that AC was lying , but they ended up trusting the coach. The Vice principal and my mom agreed that I wasn't in trouble , but that I should've made a better attempt to tell the AC about my water bottle. In the end , what got me in trouble at home was the fact that I legit forgot to tell my dad about it. When he calmed down though he agreed that I wasn't in the wrong. (He was a bit flustered because I don't usually get in trouble.)Also ,(The same day) In class when I was talking to friends they were all congratulating me on what it did. So , Am I the asshole for standing up to a coach?
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
|
j6YuBqKk0jH9udKOnmNnyeBwGcjVkjuw
|
a2e647
|
{
"description": "feeling uncomfortable about my boyfriend getting drunk with another girl",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for feeling uncomfortable about my boyfriend getting drunk with another girl?
|
so recently my long distance boyfriend of two months texted me and asked if it was okay if he got drunk for the first time tomorrow. naturally, i was like “of course! why are you asking me permission?” and then he mentioned that it would be only his former resident advisor and him. he has told me that he thinks she is attractive and has mentioned wanting a threesome with her a few times. also, he’s cheated in a relationship with another girl before. i know he swears to never do it again but it’s always in the back of my mind. i really don’t want to be controlling or abusive and make him cut off relationships with his friends, but i’m also super worried that this will lead to him cheating on me, especially because we’re long distance and this relationship is young. i told him that i’m slightly uncomfortable with it but i also said i didn’t want to stop him from doing things that he wants to do. am i overreacting to the situation? should i be worried?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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e8EZ5Ce8H6Bze45LOaU5Ka3zmtgyqjYm
|
ai6n9s
|
{
"description": "calling a baby ugly",
"pronormative_score": 25,
"contranormative_score": 47
}
|
AITA for calling a baby ugly?
|
My parents had some of their friends over today, and they brought their newborn with them.
This kid's face looked like a lumpy potato that learned how to drool, but my parents showered him with compliments anyways.
So when my brother said "Isn't he the cutest?" I involuntarily responded with "No" a bit too loud. Everyone heard me say it and turned to look at me.
Feeling the spotlight of attention on me, I kinda got nervous and tried to salvage it by saying "Sorry I was using observational humour ha ha".
This got no laughs.
I excused myself and drove to McDonalds where I waited until they left before I went home again.
When I came back my mom called me an asshole.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
xT1mJ9neI6CXx5sfaIdjR28VTH2YchJ6
|
aw6u1q
|
{
"description": "telling classmate that I don't care about her",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for telling classmate that i don't care about her !
|
So my classmate was asking me if i would help her if she ever gets in trouble or if something happens to her
And i told her the truth , that i would help if it's not a lot of work and that i don't really think it would affect me a lot if anything happened to her
And she went on to say that i am a sociopath and i am heartless now everyone thinks that
I don't really care about people's opinion tbh
However will this affect me in the long term , am i the asshole here , does it affect me badly because i believe relationships are important in every aspect of life
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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Ta0HBesn47ng9bLnVyOV8CBKPsoBoXI1
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ab9ix6
| null |
AITA- My Puppy Ate a Drunk Girls Shoes
|
I threw a party at my house about a month ago and invited co-workers and friends. After a night of heavy drinking I told those who didn’t want to pony up for an uber that they could crash in the extra rooms/couch. About 3 or 4 people stay over including the female co-worker who drank too much.
When I wake up, everyone is gone. And I high five myself for throwing a successful bash. About 5 days later I get a text from drunk girl saying she left her shoes at my place and that she would appreciate it if I brought them to work. I haven’t seen any shoes around but I said I’d keep a look out. 2 days later, I find them in the back yard. Apparently my pup has been using them as a toy so they’re trashed.
I inform her that she left them outside and that my puppy destroyed them. She then demands that the 100 dollar shoes that she drunkenly left in my back yard be replaced by me. I don’t feel like I’m at all responsible for shoes that her drunk ass left for nearly a week in my yard. Am I the ass hole?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
396Prj8RoRavs2ZWqF23cbrXzZMaRw5b
|
9wmtow
|
{
"description": "not being attracted to black women",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not being attracted to black women?
|
I once mentioned to a friend that I wasn't into black women and he called me racist. I explained that there was no hatred involved, just my personal taste. I prefer women with lighter skin tones. AITA because of this? Also, does it make me a racist?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
SFLq6jYbY2kH0UVfUlxQUUYj4Rm18BNB
|
aec7ss
|
{
"description": "wanting to have the blinds open at work",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting to have the blinds open at work?
|
So I work for a large company, and about two years ago we moved to a new building. At the old building we have almost no natural sunlight (access to widows) due to how our desks were arranged. When we moved to our new location, everything was specifically set up so we could have our desks closer to the windows and have some natural light.
In our office building now the walls are windows. Imagine windows from hip up to the ceiling. It's amazing! Our call environment is stressful (call center) and natural light helps reduce stress as well as, I believe, eye fatigue. Natural light also helps boost employee moral for the most part.
Anyway!
When I get to work along with some co workers, we open the shades. We like natural lighting. It helps improve our moods. Out of approximately 20 people on the team I work on, three people close the shades. Three. Two of which close them because of glare on their computer screens.
Here is my thought though. The glare could easily be mitigated if these individuals simply... turned their monitors (we utilize dual monitors). The two people who complain about glare face away from the windows and get a glare on their screens but have made no moves to adjust their screens, both of them having their monitors completely straight. If they turned them just a little they would no longer have any glare.
They refuse to do it, which causes animosity in an otherwise peaceful and fun work environment. In general I like both of these coworkers but I become agitated when the first thing they do when they arrive is completely close every single blind (the blinds go up and down and they lower them all the way down).
Am I the asshole for wanting the blinds up?
Note: these windows do not face east or west, so the rising and setting of the sun is not causing any issues. There is no direct sunlight, just normal daytime sky.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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NOBODY
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|
RIGHT
|
KTHTm77uwfw1mLKt8Ln2ZJz4ggepslSi
|
b48blr
|
{
"description": "being by upset my gf left because of my ex's abuse",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For being by upset my gf left because of my ex's abuse
|
Mobile, formatting etc etc. I'll try to shorten it this time. But there's a lot of small details so I guess ask in comments if you need more info. 28 Female, lesbian. Ex is my ex duh, gf is the new girl I loved/still do...
Me and my ex, whom sadly suffers from bipolar, had a terrible relationship that lasted almost 13 years. After a lot of bs and toxicity from both of us, started dating at 16, had a wonderful mutual break up. She tried to get with a friend because I pushed them together. One night before a trip we planned as friends now I had to over hear them trying to do stuff and it broke me. I cried in the corner, panic texted her and did something I regret to this day. Begged to get her back.
Couple months ago, nothing had changed after getting back together. Asked for a break again. We're still in a lease until June. Month later found the girl of my dreams, and I was hers. I told ex I'm moving out after lease ends, maybe sooner. Ex lost her crap, one night started a bigger version of her typical verbal abuse. Gf comforts me but a day or two later leaves me because my ex's outburst made her scared I still loved my ex. Like... What?
I begged for her to reconsider, I hadn't even done anything wrong. All I did was ask her for comfort when my ex started her assault. She refused but said we could start fresh as friends first and if things happened they happened.
Several weeks in were doing better. Playing games and stuff, talking and sending memes. Playing a game yesterday and something ridiculous in game upset gf, like. High school drama level of ridiculous. I try to remedy it. And then go grocery shopping.
Get a text from mutual friend that introduced us. (slept with ex while me and her where still together yea I know, why did forgive him. Idk.) Tells me gf is very upset, I try to find out why and give my side of the story as he asks. Not realizing he's telling her all the stuff I'm saying and vice versa. Him telling her all of this stuff and trying to "fix" it, broke it and made her not even want to talk to me anymore because it overloaded her. So now I've lost her as my gf, and as even a friend.
TLDR; gf leaves me because my ex's abuse made her question my loyalty for some reason? And then abandons me as friend after some dumb mmo thing she took the wrong way, mutual friend tries to "fix" it and pushes her further away by overloading her and pushing for answers when I didn't ask him to.
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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XeFluulnWfCXZ5e0NyQpK6nTPmN2s6Mr
|
b174jk
|
{
"description": "not wanting to wake up early",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting to wake up early?
|
So I'm a person which does nearly everything for the family. Like my siblings and my parents. I buy everything they need, I help out with every kind of work that may come up and I try my best to keep a good relationship to everybody. One thing everyone know is extremely important to me is my sleep. If I don't sleep well/enough I'm going to have a bad day. It was that way since I was a kid and is still the same way and maybe always will be. We all also have our own little floor so if something happens downstairs I won't know and won't hear, so I'm mostly getting the sleep that I really need.
Alright since you know stuff about me: My sister just send me a message saying "Hey, no ones home tomorrow except for you and your older brother (which is sick btw), so you have to stay downstairs starting at 8AM."
I responded, that I wouldn't want to, especially since she told me at 23:30PM the day before and how much I need my sleep.
She tried to make me feel blameworthy by talking about how my brother is sick and it wouldn't have mattered if she told me now or like a week ago.
My answer still was no, since she just did not seem to understand how much it bothers me to wake up this early, especially if I normally go to sleep at 3AM since I learn at night.
Then she said I'm making it waaay bigger than it has to be and that I shouldn't do it.
I wrote "Yeah, I won't."
Afterwards she wrote the thing that made me furious. "Don't expect anything from your family in the future. Wash your clothes yourself from now on."
It made me think: Is EVERYTHING I do for this family just not enough, because I've said "no" once?
As furious as I was I went downstairs and knocked at the door but she just stayed in her bed and said "Go away, your fahter is asleep."
AITA here? I just don't know how to respond and hate this way of her persuading guilty feelings.
|
HISTORICAL
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INFO
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WRONG
|
ooLB58lHemowIeXzGfK2Jb2rh52vB3sI
|
aky07v
|
{
"description": "\"exposing\" my roommate",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for “exposing” my roommate?
|
This is super long but I really do want to know if I’m in the wrong, and you need background info decide, I believe.
I guess from my post history everyone could see that I have quite a few problems with my roommate. Anyways, everything is just building up and I let some of it leak today.
So I live in a dorm room for 3 but there is actually 2 because one left (I had asked the two of them to start helping me clean up every week, but one had a fit and left. The other said that’s no problem and here we are now). Also I was (and am) the only one actually buying cleaning supplies.
So both of them were/are pretty gross, leaving crumbs/wrappers/misc all over the carpet, leaving our shared sink a mess, etc. Now it’s super noticeable as to who’s doing it because technically the room is split up into sides (I’m going to start calling the remaining roommate Hannah). On Hannah’s “side,” there is the empty desk, the empty bed, and Hannah’s desk. On mine, there’s my bed, my desk, and Hannah’s bed. The side with Hannah’s desk, where she spends the majority of her time, is an absolute mess (on all sets of furniture, even though all of them technically do not belong to her). I have continued pointing out to her, “how could you get the carpet dirty so fast” or “I just vacuumed” but not in a too serious/stern tone but it’s enough where she stops what she’s doing to pick it up. Every time she says “sorry, I didn’t notice.” I never believe her because it’s always chucks of trash/toothpaste/whatever. But anyway.
Lately she has been going to the gym which has led her to leave her towels/gym clothes all over the floor/furniture. She has also taken up painting, causing her to leave paint all over the sink. I left her a detailed note (she was asleep and I had to run errands by the time she woke up) asking her to pick up after herself because I didn’t want to embarrass her by saying her sweaty clothes were stinking up the room so bad. This is our way of communicating the chores, I write out an alternating pattern and hang it up where she can see it. I just added this particular detail at that week. I complete my chores before her, so I don’t mess with the note until the next week on the designated cleaning day. But I also say to clean up the little messes throughout the week.
So after this note it takes her an afternoon to actually get to it and she leaves it up (we frequently have guests, which will be relevant later). She uses the supplies I provide and I notice that she has a habit of leaving things like disinfectant wipes open because she “doesn’t notice she’s doing it.” But every week? No. I decide to take all of the stuff and just put it away just for me to use. There are still ways to get stuff to clean, like renting it or going to the store (which is not far away), so I think I’m being reasonable. The cleaning day passes and she doesn’t have her part done, but all I do is circle her part in the note. Then it gets done. Okay.
Anyway, fast forward to today (Monday). I just vacuumed last Friday (and of course there’s trash all over Hannah’s side) and she cleaned the counter on Saturday. I get up later than Hannah on Mondays and I go to brush my teeth and see coffee spills all over the counter and in the sink.
I am FUMING. How could she “not notice” brown liquid all over a cream, smooth surface? So I record the mess (with a bottle of soap that I bought, which I decided to leave out) and post it on my Snapchat. I caption it “I wonder when I’ll blow up on my roommate for always making such a big mess?” I know that I have my roommate and our friends on my story. I made no attempt to block her or them. Please note that this was not an attempt to create any drama, but to just express my feelings because obviously no one is listening to me in real life.
I later get a text from Hannah saying that I was talking shit behind her back about her, how I’m always rude and she is always the one to apologize for it. How I’m always saying she’s dirty in front of guests. I have no idea what she’s talking about. I wasn’t talking shit, I was telling the truth. And I brought up this issue multiple times way before I even posted on my snap, in all forms of ways: the notes, texting, and in person. Other people even call her out when she visits their rooms and leaves food on the floor. I don’t ever recall being rude when asking her to clean up after herself, or bringing it up when there’s company (unless they decide to read the note that was left up), but maybe, who knows. What I’m really focused on is how I was talking shit, even though it was the truth? Was I talking behind her back, even though I made several attempts in the past to get through to her AND I didn’t block her from my story?
|
HISTORICAL
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EVERYBODY
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{
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"WRONG": 8
}
|
WRONG
|
p4c4lgp8gFCOZupnRNLJkjRc1AD8C8Yb
|
b4ot1h
|
{
"description": "denying goody bags to kids",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for denying goody bags to kids?
|
My 7 year old daughter had a party today and twelve kids showed up. Only six had RSVPed. Anticipating only six kids, I ended up not having enough goody bags for everyone so I didn’t give them to the kids who I didn’t know were coming.
I thought about simply not giving any, but my daughter was really excited about putting them together and handing them out. She worked hard on little cards saying thank you for coming and really put thought into what candies each friend would like, what set of stickers, etc.
I don’t think I’m an asshole, but I kind of feel like an asshole.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
t415lQB0JoAn3gm2mTP4nkfOhlUYBhiO
|
aa04ya
|
{
"description": "forcing my potentially mentally ill brother to get help",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for forcing my potentially mentally ill brother to get help?
|
Some context: My sibling (M, 26) is probably a compulsive liar/has some level of autism that has never been diagnosed. Ever since we were teenagers (I'm F, 25), he's been trying to pull something off to be the "cool guy" and then tells genuinely impossible-to-believe lies when it blows up. No matter how much you work with him, he'll **never** admit that he did the thing. Throughout the years, it's gotten worse and worse. Police have been involved, he's lost his job, and he's built up lies so big that he can't get down from them, but it's always tied to a specific topic that the rest of our family just doesn't bring up so he doesn't have to lie.
​
Recently, he started completely ignoring me out of the blue. This was around the time he lost his job but I wasn't aware. Won't return my phone calls or texts, etc. When I saw him around Thanksgiving, I asked "Hey, what's up with you not answering my phone calls?" And he told some ridiculous lies that made no sense, which I told him didn't make any sense, and he got flustered and eventually said "So what. I don't care." I got very upset, walked away. Later on, approached him and said, "Hey, let's talk." We went outside and tried to hash it out, but when I caught him in his lie he once again got flustered, said "This is bullshit," and I flipped out. He got in my face like he was going to hit me, it became a screaming match, and my mom broke it up. Last thing I said to him was "This isn't you bro, something's going on and I'm worried about you." He laughed once and said "Have a good night," before walking away.
​
Now it's Christmas. Told my mom I wasn't ready to talk to him, but if he was coming over for Christmas anyway I'm just going to completely ignore him until he can talk to me about what's going on so that I don't just burst into tears when I see him. I asked to not have him bring anything for me to avoid potential further conflict. Mom says "ok," but doesn't actually tell him so that I'll be forced to play along in front of the family and make everything ok. Neither of us greets the other. He asked me one question that I addressed but dismissed, that's the extent of our interaction. When gift exchange happens, I don't open the two gifts he gave me - just set them to the side. He's obviously noticed it, keeps checking to see that I haven't opened it. When goodbyes come, I excuse myself. When he leaves, he tells my mom he's sorry and he's clearly upset.
​
Parents want me to call him to make up for it, but I want him to reach out first. IMO, if he's truly incapable of contacting me because he's mentally ill and can't address his lies, then his condition has gotten severely worse & my parents need to step in and force him to see a therapist before the stress causes him to hurt himself or worse. If my family and I continue to allow him to lie without realizing the harm he's doing to his relationships, I think the condition will continue to get worse and that he ultimately will hurt himself. If he can work up the courage to contact me (and I've told my parents to encourage him to do so & support him) then maybe it will be a turning point and he will work with us to get the help he needs. Until then, family has been guilt tripping me on a daily basis to call him and tell him everything's fine.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
KXxZrFRV38jiWjCULnxyvfEfxU6ljfjf
|
ahhuhm
|
{
"description": "staying in an open relationship with my best friend and roommate",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for staying in an open relationship with my best friend and roommate
|
I started dating my best friend Chris when we were in high school, after we graduated we chose the same university and found an apartment together. From the start we agreed to be in an open relationship because both of our parents got divorced and we didn't think too highly about standard monogamous relationships. We didn't practice polygamy for the first 2 years though (we're together 6 years now).
Our relationship is great, we enjoy spending time together, share similar views and hobbies and have a lot of close friends in common. The only issue is that he has considerably more feelings for me than I for him. At first we were both in love but as time passed I've fallen out of love. I still love and appreciate him a lot, he's still my best friend but there are few romantic feelings left.
As I was falling out of love I began to hope Chris will find someone else (that's why the emphasis that we are in an open relationship, he is free to pursue other people). I don't want to break up with him because he's my best friend and I don't want to hurt or loose him. He knows how I feel, is a grown man and can make decisions for himself. As long as the relationship works for both of us I see no reason to end it.
Recently one of my friends told me she thinks I'm an asshole for staying with him. She thinks that the reason he's not ending the relationship is because he still has feelings for me and is too scared to end it. She also said that I'm being a coward because while I say that I'm still with him because it works for both of us the truth is that I'm just scared of the consequences of ending it (him being hurt and worst case scenario ending the friendship). She said that it's highly unlikely that he will seriously pursue anyone else while we're still together and that I'm selfishly holding both of us back and that if I was a real friend who genuinely cared about Chris I would have ended it long ago no matter the consequences.
None of my other friends have ever expressed such an opinion not even the ones Chris and I have in common which kinda reassures me that I'm not doing anything wrong by him, but she seems so certain about her view I had to ask, am I the asshole?
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 2
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
ATes0nGJ3PtH2PsH0D7L05lb4eBOnoHE
|
as6srj
|
{
"description": "telling my gf she shouldn't be doing cheap commissions",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for telling my GF she shouldn’t be doing cheap commissions?
|
On mobile so sorry for any possible formatting issues. This also might be all over the place as I’m rather worried.
My girlfriend and I were having a discussion about art. Basically, I was about to commission a poster from a fellow artist and friend. My GF mentioned offhand that she wanted to do commissions really cheap, as she is also an artist (and far more skilled than I am.) She essentially said, “If somebody asks me for a huge poster, hell I’ll do it for ten bucks!”
I tried to explain to her why I felt that wouldn’t work, my reasons being as follows: good art that cheap would likely attract more seedy crowds (she’s already gotten questionable requests on Tumblr) and she has this attitude where she feels obligated to draw what people ask of her.
Another reason being that, with such low prices, she would likely be in high demand, leading her to be stressed and feel overworked. Having such cheap prices would just make everybody flock to her and she’d get overwhelmed.
After I raised my concerns, she then said, “Fine, no commissions. I’ll just do requests.” I pointed out that was even *worse,* but she didn’t really listen to me, insisting that once she got her animation career going or whatever, she’d be alright.
I’m fairly certain most animators aren’t paid enough to make a decent living without doing something on the sidelines as well, and that brought up another concern: if she did these so cheap, when she turns 18, she won’t be able to make a damn living! Sure, when we eventually move in together, we’ll be splitting bills up somehow, but we both want similar career paths.
I just feel as if she doesn’t truly value her art if she does things for dirt cheap, plus the other reasons above. Am I the asshole for thinking that? Or am I just overthinking things in general?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
GQ84ZuYrXDB6SYfatuCjj054tt7uKmrI
|
ae30mq
|
{
"description": "not getting out of bed to chase a bat out of the house",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not getting out of bed to chase a bat out of the house
|
Last year, me and 3 friends were all living in a house together. It's past midnight, and I've already gone to bed for the night. My roommate whose room is upstairs comes running downstairs yelling and banging on my door and my other roommate's door saying we need to get up and help him. The other guy gets up immediately, then they are both banging on my door trying to get me to join them.
Apparently there was a bat upstairs in the hallway that scared my roommate. He wanted to get rid of it right away, but needed help to do so. I told them to just ignore it until the next day and I would call animal control to deal with it. Not only had I already gone to bed and didn't want to ruin my chance of getting enough sleep by running around and energizing myself, but I also just didn't want to risk coming into contact with a bat that could be infested with rabies (seriously, have you read about that shit? fuck that). Anyway, they spend the next hour or two jumping around with a garbage bag and trying to get the bat to fly out of the house. When they finally got the bat out of the house, they insisted that I should go fuck myself and to this day claim that I was a dick for not getting out of bed to help them.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
3X0tvcOoV1gArv8CdG6OVplWQ8xpn5aU
|
9v1mzg
|
{
"description": "running up my roommate's electricity bill",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for running up my roommate's electricity bill?
|
For context, it's about 60-70 degrees F outside where I live but we are having problems regulating the temperature in the house. It's a townhouse 5 stories high, of which the top three belong to us (myself and two roommates) and the lower two to neighbors.
It's hot as hell. I think what's happening is the neighbors below us have the heat cranked up and it's all going upwards into our house where the temp stays about 78 degrees + when we don't touch the thermostat. One of my roommates has no problem with the uncomfortable heat, but I think it's because he spends most of his day outside the house and is perfectly content to let us boil while he saves money. He is the only roommate with a master bedroom, so his rent is a little higher either way and he complains about his bills constantly.
His solution is for us to "crack a window" which is fine and dandy except that there are two cats in the house (not mine or his) that like to play with the screens so we can only barely crack them. This isn't his fault but he also knew the deal with that when he signed the lease.
He also wants to not pay the utilities while he travels for a month. Man, I sure would like to swerve the bills while I'm at my girlfriend's house half the time too but I just don't believe in dividing up the bills according to who spends time in the house because even if we are ALL gone we can't shut off the utilities and no one should have the option of leaving for a few days and screwing everyone else over with the bills.
TLDR: I am running up the electricity bill to cool the house in the middle of fall when it's 65 degrees outside and my broke roommate is unwillingly going to pay for 1/3 of it.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
WRONG
|
Uy1sHJROSBcMgtef0fA9LPIuZ3quOwnP
|
9ujhtm
|
{
"description": "breaking up with my ex",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for breaking up with my ex?
|
So about 2 months back, I felt that I didn't want to be in a relationship anymore so I broke up with my ex. At the time we've dated for about 5-6 months (we broke up for like 1 month in this relationship but got back together). I just felt that I wasn't suited for being in a relationship and I just couldn't handle one so I chose to break up with her. Around 2 or 3 weeks before I broke up with her, she kept telling me how she wanted to break up with me for like about a week at night but she'll go back to normal in the morning but I had to spend an hour to convince her to not break up with me (she does have depression and was going through a lot in terms of how her family treats her). After how she kept trying to break up with me, I decided that I should just break up with her even though she stops telling me how she was going to break up with me. I thought about breaking up with her for 2 weeks and finally asked her to come out and I was going to break up with her but she guessed that I was going to break up with her since I was asking her to come out so I had to do it through a phone call. I've been thinking about it every day since it's not that I broke up with her because I lost feeling to her but rather I don't feel like being in a relationship and I feel very sad about breaking up with her.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
3l1hIAY6uS0XkOB22acNf93dP0jel1kK
|
a1y7xa
|
{
"description": "giving my group member a bad eval even though she spent as long on the project as everyone else",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 17
}
|
AITA for giving my group member a bad eval even though she spent as long on the project as everyone else?
|
I'm currently taking a data structures CS class in college, and we just turned in our group project for the semester. Our task was to design an "evil hangman" game that would covertly change the word the user was guessing every time they picked a letter so that the new word doesn't contain any of those letters. Maybe for some this would be simple, but I'm not the best at this class so it took me a long time to figure out the logic behind the game, and it wasn't fully functional until the day before it was due.
The problem is, one of my group members spent a long time designing nice-looking menus, game screens, etc. but made no effort to understand how the game actually works. She didn't attempt to understand or help with the game logic and just spent her time drawing elaborate menu screens (without considering that the rest of us were too busy doing the actual hard work to add in the bells and whistles she was building buttons for). As the deadline approached it became clear that she didn't know how to use our code to actually get her screens to draw at the right times, because she hadn't paid attention or asked any questions about what the rest of the group was doing (she did not even bother to read the code containing the actual game logic). Ultimately we tried to help her but by the time we realized the problem it was too late, so almost none of her work actually made it into the final program.
I understand that she did spend as much time working on the project as everyone else, but I found it extremely annoying that she spent all of her time trying to make the game "look pretty" without attempting to contribute to the actual challenging parts of building the game. As a result, when evaluating the group, I reported that she had done the least work, as none of what she had done ended up helping us in any way. This will probably hurt her grade. AITA for giving her a bad evaluation?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 14,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 4
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 17
}
|
WRONG
|
YFPR4KQ8weR4fSMmA0ZMVpKSBVdgeoHS
|
a40vq0
|
{
"description": "not wanting to sleep in the same bed after a fight",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to sleep in the same bed after a fight?
|
A bit of a back story here. I've (18F) been depressed for a good part of my life, me and my boyfriend (22M) have been together for a year and for the most part my depression has gotten better. However as of recent it got worse again.
So yesterday I was home alone, I cooked, cleaned, did all of the necessary stuff. For some reason I felt really happy, knowing he was coming home and we could spend time together. Once he came home all seemed well, he noticed i was happy, we ate together and that was it. He went to game while I sat in the couch, occasionally giving a kiss but still being happy. I tried making small jokes he usually loves but he was acting rude and just ignoring me. Around 10 we decided to go up to sleep, i remember dropping something on accident. I said sorry, because it was quite loud. I remember him saying "Why the fuck are you like this?" that did it for me, i slammed the box of tissues I was putting away on the table and stormed to the toilet, pissed off and upset. 2 minutes later I heard him going upstairs. I hoped he would send me on messenger as I had my phone with me and so did he or he would come back down. 15 minutes passed and I decided to go lay in the couch. Waiting for something at least. He eventually decided to send saying he spend so much money on me and if that's how I repay him it's not needed. Blah blah. I explained after 15 minutes of arguing that it would be best to sleep alone. He got even madder at that and made me feel horrible. My heart was aching and I felt weak as shit. Yet he made me come up stairs, he made me ask for a hug and for comfort. I'm now wondering if it's my fault or not? AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
uJzSKXsIsdAsMEXM5wYx50XtMDnR4MTz
|
aiv12r
|
{
"description": "interrupting my mom",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA For Interrupting my Mom
|
I have a formal event coming up so I wanted to look nice and rent a tux. There is a local business that does this and my mom said that she would pay for it so I said ok. We went together, I picked a nice tux out, but when it came to the price 190 my mom gasped a little bit. We came here for my senior prom as well so the owner said he would give it to us for 170 which I thought was nice. But my mom still wanted more and kept trying to haggle the price down. I thought it was pretty rude so I just kept on interrupting the conversation and saying things like "Aah mom I'll chip in 50 bucks. It's my event after all". After all was said and done she got the owner to lower the price to 160 (she wanted more off but he didn't budge).
In the car she told me that she knew what she was doing, money isn't an issue for her and me saying "I'll help pay" makes her look bad and is embarrassing. AITA for trying to stop her from having a what I consider rude conversation?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
Expn1COPuOEmKrgNlOScpYsNu3Rd86z2
|
b92sj7
|
{
"description": "punishing GF for not realizing her actions were innapropiate",
"pronormative_score": 124,
"contranormative_score": 371
}
|
AITA for punishing GF for not realizing her actions were innapropiate.
|
I (26 M) am in a relationship with my gf (21F). The relationship has been mostly good. She's a gem, super fit and athletic, sex is great, shes really smart. I have a very good paying and stable job while she is a junior in university. I love her a lot. She also comes from a poor and abusive family. She has a athletic scholarship for tuition (soccer) but lives with me and relies on me for spending money and other expenses.
Recently we have had some problems. The soccer team has this weird ball/formal dance with guys soccer team. She gets matched up with a random soccer dude and they go to the dance together. This isn't a problem but the way she described it is a problem. She basically said it's supposed to be a crazy night and asked for a one night pass from our relationship. I said "no" very firmly. I told her it was offensive and innapropiate to even ask and I'm shocked it crossed her mind. She got defensive and said she's still in college and all she wants is one night to go wild, but I stood my ground.
​
I then told her I don't want her going to this ball at all, because she won't committ to me that she won't go wild after. She said "no, this is a important team bonding exercise". In response I cut off the money I gave her and informed her we won't be going on the european trip this summer. I also said she cant live with me until we resolve this issue. She now has to live at her house with he family who is abusive verbally. One week later she called and asked if she could move back in and have her allowance back, I asked if she was still going to the event and she said yes but she wouldn't try to have sex or anything that night. I said I would think about it. My friends say I'm being a manipulative ass whos taking advantage of a pretty college girl with no money. AITA reddit?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 80,
"OTHER": 124,
"EVERYBODY": 291,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 6
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 124,
"WRONG": 371
}
|
WRONG
|
lHlDZ2E4XzesYgAEDpRFo9FakzZTW3WC
|
a0cmhb
|
{
"description": "being uncomfortable with my fiancé allowing her nude photos posted online",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for being uncomfortable with my fiancé allowing her nude photos posted online?
|
Hey everyone. This is something I didn’t really think I’d have to ask myself after 3.5 years of being with my SO. We went on a cabin trip with friends, one of which is a cool new friend we’ll call “P”. P does a lot of nude photography in nature, which I think is really cool. She has a website and Instagram where the photos are posted. These shoots are more focused on body positivity, not like a porno shoot.
At the cabin, all the girls talked about going out into the woods and doing a nude photo shoot. Totally cool! I’m all about my girlfriends body positivity. They went on their shoot and it was fun for them. I talked to my fiancé and it sounds like P is going to post the pictures, and she’s comfortable with that. I am not. I voiced that opinion to my fiancé but she says that it doesn’t matter. P says her website (with the fully uncensored pics) is private and you need the link to get to it. This was a lie because her instagram is public, 2,000 followers, and the link to the website is in the bio.
I fully support my girlfriends body positivity but I am not comfortable with thousands of people seeing her nude. Now she is upset with me because I pointed this out. Am I the asshole for not wanting her nudes posted?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
6CNvEQsfOQuKXiynbuhnzE8WRYGvRu1x
|
abi87q
|
{
"description": "supporting a decision to chase away/put down stray dogs",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for supporting a decision to chase away/put down stray dogs
|
Last summer the administration at my university decided to do something about the stray dog menace in my campus. They chased out all the dogs they could and took away some more to be put down. There was a lot of backlash from the students over this decision and the administration had to stop this. But I personally think this had to be done since these dogs caused a lot of cleanliness and hygiene issues. I had nothing to do with the decision but I feel the administration was justified in this.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
EVmQw1R9p9VUbydJA01OdabAYywzHnZc
|
a2kqov
|
{
"description": "not wanting to drive my best friend around anymore",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to drive my best friend around anymore?
|
A bit of context might help here. I have a best friend that I've known since 7th grade (we are both about to turn 21 in February.). His parents have always been really stingy about letting him go out and do things. They never wanted to bring him anywhere, and if my mom picked us up and brought us out he wasn't allowed to go further than 15 mins away from his house. He also had these crazy time restrictions, for example, if we went to see a movie that was usually ALL we had time to do, even if we left out midday and the movie was over by 3. This all sucked, but luckily my mom was extremely patient and put up with the restrictions so I could spend time with my best friend outside of school.
​
Fast forward to today and things have gotten better, but not by much (keep in mind we are about to be 21 in college now). He doesn't have a car, but he does have his license. However, they never let him use their cars even though one of his parents works from home, so the car just sits in the driveway. They tell him he needs to have a job whenever he is in town from college (he goes out of state in St. Louis) or else he's "being lazy". The crazy thing is they expect him to find his own rides to and from work everyday. This leads to him usually working with one of his friends and they act as his ride for the break. If he wants to go out, we have to be his ride and he usually has to be home around 10-12 depending on their mood. This was extremely annoying given the fact they never even offer gas money or offer to at least drop him off and let one of us take him back home.
​
He finally got his own car in September. He's coming down for winter break in December, but his parents just informed him they don't want him bringing his car. Their reasoning was that they are looking to get new cars for themselves and that if anything happened to his car, they wouldn't have the money to replace it. After I heard this I got upset, but kept it to myself because I don't really see what he can do about it. Anyways, AITA for not wanting to be his ride anymore? He's a great friend who hasn't really done anything wrong in this situation, but it's so annoying to deal with these restrictions at damn near 21 years old.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
PT3M3x7vIImRmFPVU4gbEkqY9vmE31V7
|
abygra
|
{
"description": "switching bedrooms in my new apartment",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for switching bedrooms in my new apartment
|
So i recently got a new apartment. I've waited for 3 years to get an apartment of this size and location so I'm obviously thrilled. I'm the only person on the lease and I've paid for about 80 % of the furniture in the apartment. Before moving in me and my roommates decided on bedrooms during which both me and my newest roommate A (who I don't know very well) wanted room 2. We decided that I should have room 2 and A got room 3. But now on the move in day it turns out room 2 is the smallest room of them all (it's a big difference) so I decided to change to room 3. A was not present and no fourniture had been moved in yet. I didn't think it would be a big deal since she previously wanted room 2. A got really upset, way more then I would have expected from anyone in this situation. It really felt like a kids tantrum.
I know it was kind of shitty for me to change rooms against her wishes but it's my apartment, I pay for all of our home insurance and I've paid for most of the furniture (and our other roomate has paid for the rest). There's no way A would have been able to get this kind of apartment on her own in my city. AITA for changing rooms against her wishes?
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AITA for leaving an 18 cent tip and getting the waitress fired?
|
I was dining at an upscale restaurant and the bill came out to $49.82. I pulled out a $50 to pay, and told the waitress I didn't need change. Goes without saying, but I was planning on leaving the rest of her tip on the table. I used to work as a server. I always tip generously.
The waitress misunderstood my intentions and said "Really?" loud enough for all the other diners to hear. Before I could say anything, she said something like "Woooow- thanks for the generous tip", snatched the payment from the table, and walked away in a huff. All the diners around me were staring daggers at me. It was humiliating.
I flagged down the manager and let him know what happened. He knows me and knows I'd never stiff servers.
He offered to comp the meal, but I said it wasn't necessary. I just wanted to let him know what happened and would be on my way. The manager insisted that I was owed an apology. Made sense to me at the time. She apologizes, gets her tip, I leave, everyone is happy.
When the manager called the waitress over, both of us saw her roll her eyes as she was walking here. As soon as the manager saw this, he put on his "you're about to get fired" face. All the tears and pleading made no difference. It was ugly. People were filming with their cell phones.
As she was being escorted to the back by some kitchen workers (who probably think I'm the second coming of Satan). The manager insisted on comping our meal and we went on our way.
When we got home, the wife claimed I was an asshole for making a huge scene out of nothing, and getting that poor girl fired over a simple misunderstanding. I feel like all I did was share a legitimate complaint to the manager. She is the one who escalated it by rolling her eyes at us. Am I being unreasonable? What would you have done in this situation?
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AITA for trying to go to sleep?
|
Context - Today is my 7 year old step daughter's birthday. She has been counting down the days, extremely excited to share cupcakes with her friends in school.
I have had a sporadic sleep schedule the past few weeks. Unfortunately, some of those long nights resulted in me sleeping through the alarm to take her to school.
Last night, her mother was coughing a lot. Not like the sick barky cough, more like the tickle-in-your-throat cough. I asked if she's okay, to which she said "no," but she literally says that any time I ask. She kept coughing like that until she threw up a little bit. She and I laughed about it and went back to trying to get some sleep. Her coughing continues for about another hour or 2 until she throws up again, but more. I went into the bathroom to ask again if she's okay and hold her hair and rub her back if she wanted me to. I also brought in a water bottle for her. I didn't hold her hair because she already had a hair tie in, but I still rubbed her back and asked her if she needed anything. She ignored me. I waited a bit, giving her extra time knowing that she's not feeling well, but she just completely ignored me. I had to wake up in about 4 hours to take our daughter to school, so I took about 1mg of melatonin. She saw me do it, and she insisted that I was being so rude trying to knock myself out to sleep through her throwing up. She was done throwing up before I took it, but literally any explanation I've made she writes off as excuses and just defending myself. As I'm writing this, she texted me asking why she even bothers trying work on things with me and that she wants to break up. I apologized for using the wrong words to explain myself and said I only had our daughter's wishes in mind. She threw her phone at the door and told me to get out.
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AITA for not speaking to my friend for less than one day?
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My friend just sent me a long message about how I treat her badly, and she deserves better, and told me to « grow up »... I’m a little like, wtf? I hurt my back badly recently and wasn’t able to walk, i was very afraid (I am doing better now!) My friend tried her best to be consoling. She lives far away, we talk everyday in messenger and everything she was saying to me just made me feel worse so I decided to just give myself some space from her. I told her later how it felt and she was hurt that she didn’t make me feel better and that I took it all the wrong way. I want to also explain she’s been asking everyone if she is « emotionally intelligent » so instead of my usual quiet self I have been answering her probing questions of self reflection. Yesterday I shared with her how I was worried about working out but wanted to, and she flat out said « wow that’s dramatic. » I thought that was annoying, as she talks about working out everyday and how insecure she is about her body. So I told her I thought that was an insensitive thing to say she asked me if I was mad I said, « a little bit, I’m not mad really I just don’t want to talk right now. » she has been injured like 10 times since I’ve known her, it’s scary being hurt or sick and I feel like I have been there for her. This is the first time I have been the vulnerable one, I don’t need anything from her exactly, but today after not talking to her for like maybe 18 hours (during which I saw my physical therapist) she sends me these angry messages telling me I am a terrible friend for being offended by her efforts to cheer me up, and is mad I haven’t visited her in LA??? She is treating me like I am her boyfriend and she is a princess, calling me selfish when literally all I am trying to do is take care of myself ! She said I have always randomly ignored her, and I responded by saying usually when she hurts my feelings I tend to just give us some space. She’s also a hypochondriac and so she freaks out pretty much daily that she is sick, I always rationalize with her, and I thought that when I was hurt it just wasn’t something she could handle because of her fears of illness and injury but now I’m thinking she just always has to be the victim and the baby and I always have to be the valiant super friend taking care of her. I hope she reads this because I’m honestly baffled, friends don’t DEMAND friends to come visit them even when I can’t afford it, or demand them to not feel hurt... I feel like she is crossing some boundaries with me, my understanding of friendship is more supportive and less based on these rules she seems to be making up on the spot right now. AITA because I decided to talk to her less and can’t visit her in LA? Or am i just an introvert and she is an extrovert? I think I have replaced her boyfriend honestly because she even sends me selfies of her in her underwear and I am always like « why? »
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{
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AITA For getting mad at my girlfriend for making out with a girl?
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I (male 15) was at a party with a bunch of friends along with my girlfriend. She’s openly pansexual and has had several long term female partners. We had yet to really discuss any boundaries in our relationship, but when she began making out with another girl for a solid minute, I was shocked and pretty pissed. When I tried talking to her about, she and the other girl simply said “we’re just being lesbians.” I think that’s no excuse and things like sexual orientation don’t really matter in this situation. She simply made out with another person and I feel like I’ve got a right to be upset. Am I just overacting?
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HISTORICAL
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AITA For calling out of work.
|
I work at a small gas station with only 6 employees so calling out does suck but it happens. Today I woke up with one of the worst headaches I’ve ever had, and I feel like puking constantly. I tried some medication and just relaxing before my shift but to no avail.
I decided that calling out was my best bet seeing as I’d be useless at work. So I did about 3 hours before my shift started. After I texted my manager my co worker that’s currently working texts me.
She asked why I called out and I told her. She then tells me to take meds and just relax like I had been. I responded by saying it’s not that easy, and that I still wouldn’t be able to come in. She then he’s angry and starts telling me some story about how she threw up at work and stayed hen came back the next day alright even though I know she called out.
She wants me to feel bad for not coming in, and I do, but am I really an asshole for prioritizing my health?
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"description": "not taking out the trash",
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AITA for not taking out the trash?
|
Some background: I’ve (21F) been living in an apartment with an ex-coworker (25F) for 6 months after her old roommate broke the lease due to a hostile living environment. (The old roommate threatened to burn the place down and a lot of drama happened between them. They were both in the wrong though.) Shortly after I moved in my roommates little sister (18F) started staying with us and eventually moved in too. She does nothing to help. And our lease states that there can only be two occupants living here although the landlord hasn’t noticed bc the little sister doesn’t drive. I don’t care that she’s living with us but she plays a part in a lot of this.
There’s also been an unspoken rule that you clean up after yourself. This is where I’ve had the most problem. Things were fine up until I started dating my boyfriend 4 months ago and left the job that my roommate and I worked at. She’s a messier person than I am but has a “holier than thou” attitude when it comes to cleaning and it’s only gotten worse. I’m talking literal shit covering the toilet after almost every use, a shower that had never been cleaned before I moved in, and the kitchen is always in a state. IE the trash can is overflowing after a day, counters are dirty, and the fridge has food rotting in there for weeks and even months at a time. I’ve been cleaning it all up until about 3 weeks ago. I don’t ask her for anything in return and honestly have given up even trying to talk to her bc she just ignores me when I try. Today I overheard her bitching about the trash not being taken out and also stating that she’s “tired of having to clean up after everybody”.
To keep this shorter I’m going to say that I clean up after myself and leave any mess that they make for them (minus the toilet bc that’s just disgusting). We don’t talk to each other and she leaves passive aggressive notes for me. I have 4 months left in my lease so I’m just trying to keep my head down and get out as soon as I can (I stay in my room for the most part.) AITA?
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AITA Am I the asshole for not giving this woman a cart?
|
Okay, so I was working at a department store and I was sent out to collect carts when a woman comes up to me and try's to take one out from my line of carts all linked together while i'm moving it, like from the middle.I ask her not to do that, as if she disconnects them cause a errant cart could hit a car. She looks at me and goes "what". I ask her where she is going and she says to the "garden center" and I tell her that the garden center has its own carts suited for picking up plants and heavy items, like flat bed carts which I just finished placing. She asked me if I was retarded cause "why would these carts even be here if she couldn't take one"?
"Cause customer's bring them from other sections". ( I wasn't going to not give it to her , I was just saying there were better options if she was going to get something bigger). Anyhow she walked away in huff and I got a complaint filed against me, and she actually told my supervisor that I was mentally "slow".
​
I'm just wondering if I"m the asshole in this situation, cause its my second write up in 2 days, 3 weeks in my new job. The first time was when a woman told me to check out her items, I told her I wasn't a cashier and wasn't authorized but I could find one for her. I actually got in trouble for this because even though I brought her a cashier she filed a complaint against her for not helping her in a timely fashion? I'm on a roll guys, and I need to know if i'm an asshole.Thanks!
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HISTORICAL
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"description": "not wanting to spend all my time with my parents",
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AITA for not wanting to spend all my time with my parents?
|
Background: I'm an only child and I have been homeschooled my entire life. Because of this, we spend a lot of time together (more time than most families), and are very close. I know this sounds crazy, but I probably consider my father to be my best friend.
Problem: Recently, as my moving out and going to college grows immanent, my parents have become extremely clingy. They want to spend more and more time with me, since I'm leaving soon. Soon being, by the way, a year and a half from now. At first, I wasn't bothered. I love my life at home, and I'm happy to spend lots of time doing things with my parents. Recently, it started getting kind of out of hand. I recently applied for a highly selective five week summer camp, and my father tried to talk me out of it, because it meant being away from home. He constantly criticizes my going, and won't hear a good word about it (such as that it's the first opportunity I've ever come across to experience my greatest interest: astrophysics). All this still wouldn't be a problem, except that my mother and I have always had a kind of shaky relationship, in that she isn't good at expressing her happiness with others. That often leads me to think she doesn't enjoy my company, and makes me not want to experience hers. My dad recently told me that she was crying at night because I'm leaving so soon (again, one and a half years, normal time for a kid to leave and attend college).
Problem diluted: Now I'm finding it difficult to live my life the way I want to. My parents constantly make me feel guilty about spending any amount of time away from home (the five week camp is a crazy example, most things are just day activities or weekends). I already spend far more time at home than anyone else I know, and am in fact often called a homebody.
Conclusion: So tell me, AITA for not wanting to spend as much time with my parents as they want?
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WIBTA if I tried to confront my mom about having to endure second-hand smoking?
|
Alright, I'll be honest here: I am a young teenager, which is the main reason I'm in this situation, because I don't get to choose where I am, but I want to hear others' opinions about this.
Little backstory: my mom and dad are seperated, and my mom lives in [Place] and my dad lives in [Place.] I live with my dad and stepmom and I have an older brother who lives with our mom. We try to keep a consistent schedule by swapping every other weekend so I see my mom.
My dad and stepmom are in a middle-class community and my stepmom hates smoking, while my dad used to smoke but recently quit. They both have extremely well-paying jobs and hold themselves together very well.
May I mention, my dad, when smoking, was extremely cautious about the wind and his smoke etc., and making sure that nobody around him had to inhale his cigarette; he smoked outside, as well. He also rarely ever smoked in the car with me and often would just wait until we got to a rest-stop or something so he could exit the car.
My mom, meanwhile, lives in more of a lower-class community and has more of a low-paying job where she works about 10+ hours a day (overtime to make more, she says.) She purchases cigarettes on a daily basis and smokes them with me in the car and in her house. Now, this, I think, wouldn't be too much of a problem if she didn't A) chainsmoke and B) have multiple people over at once smoking constantly. She also has a boyfriend who chainsmokes in the car and house.
Excuse me for possibly sounding "fake," but my lungs are really sensitive. Two examples: Last schoolyear, I joined the track team and did short-sprints. Often, when returning from a weekend at my mom's, I would stuggle to run as much because I was coughing a lot. The same happened when I played my instrument in band class.
Presently, this is the loop: I go to my mom's house every weekend, she and her bf smoke like their lives depend on it, and I inhale and cough a lot. My coughing gets worse the longer I'm at her house, as expected, and I really dislike coming to her place during holidays because I cough so much and smell like smoke.
I've tried complaining to her for years now, so have my dad and stepmom, that she should stop smoking indoors and in the car when I'm with her. She says that "it's too cold outside" and that she's "sorry," but never fixes the problem. Her bf makes snide remarks about how I should get over it. (Ex: I was supposed to be picked up by my dad in a few hours, and I was coughing a lot. My mom yelled, "What's wrong?" from the other room, and sarcastically, I yelled back "I'm inhaling smoke, what do you think's wrong?" Her bf then asked her what day it was, she said [day that my dad is getting me] and he VERY sarcastically said "Don't worry, your dad will be here soon." Which honestly feels like a lame excuse to smoke around a kid who's not yours.)
It seems like the issue never ends, and there's more personal problems than meets the eye that also continue with my mom and I, but this is just one of many that I'm beginning to get tired of.
Would I be reasonable if I tried to confront her, officially, to stop smoking when I'm around, or would I be an asshole because it's her stress relief from 10+ hour shifts?
TL; DR - My mom smokes indoors and in the car when I'm at her place, which makes me cough consistently. I'm especially not used to it because my dad, who I live with, doesn't smoke at all.
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AITA for ghosting a friend?
|
some context: about 6 months ago i worked on a group project with a friend who became very hard to work with, as for example he was being very passive aggressive and rude. i confronted him over this and it seemed we made amends.
a few months later during the summer, as we were working on interview questions, he decided to exclaim that he "couldn't understand my thought process/thinking" in a tone that i felt was extremely offsetting. i didn't encounter him at all during fall quarter (as he was studying abroad) but looking back, i personally started to get the feeling he wasn't a genuine friend (in part due to his overbearing personality, the need for him to be called a king/hero to feed his ego, or the fact that he proclaimed himself as someone that needs attention).
i considered confronting him about this, but a good chunk of my friends are friends with this person, and i feel that confronting him might lead to a giant mess.
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HISTORICAL
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|
AITA for telling my dad how I really feel about my stepmom?
|
This is gonna take some background, but I'll try to be brief. Also, I'm on mobile, so sorry if the format is bad.
My parents are divorced, and my dad married my stepmom when I was in 5th grade. In the early years of their marriage, she was very emotionally abusive. She'd insult me and yell at me over little things, mostly about cleaning. She had a lot of issues and took them out on my sister and I until about my Freshman year of High school, but has slowly been getting better over the years. However, I always have this underlying fear that she'll revert back to the way she was before. On the other hand, my dad and stepmom currently have a great marriage, despite the hiccups. My dad, up until this point, had the impression that my stepmom and I were great pals. She'd taken me coming out very well, and she supported me in all my hobbies, etc. I don't hate her by any means, but she just makes me uncomfortable.
A week ago, my stepmom left for a few days to visit her son in Colorado, so my dad and I were by ourselves. We went to a nice restaurant, and my dad decides to start asking me some really personal questions. Eventually, he asks why I'm going to the community college in the city where my mom lives, rather than the one closer to his house. There's a lot of reasons, but the biggest one is my stepmom. At first, I lie and say that it's that I'm not as independent as i would like to be. But that makes me feel immensely guilty, (especially since my dad tried to fix the made up problem) so I told him the truth.
My dad then spent the next hour (I checked, it was a full hour and then some) telling me what I said was unfair, that I fought back against my stepmom, and also "subtly" insulting my mother. He also said he wished I had said something sooner (I had, but nothing got solved) but also that he "could have gone the rest of [his] life without knowing that." I kept telling him I never planned to tell him, but that didn't really help.
It's been a week, and things are pretty much back to "normal" around the house, but I'm still peeved about it. AITA for telling him?
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AITA for Sticking My Nose Where it Didn't Belong?
|
So about a year ago, I learned someone within my friend group (not necessarily someone I liked all that much but I tolerated him because I liked the other people in the group) had an abusive relationship with a girl I knew, both sexually and emotionally, and it really messed her up, as well as another friend who was (at the time) best friends with the two of them. When I learned about this, I was pretty disgusted (specifically on some of the sexual stuff). The aforementioned friend group consisted of mostly girls, and this guy (from now I'll refer to him at R) had done some pretty *jokingly* (as they perceived it) sexual stuff to the girls in the group, stuff that was really creepy but they just sort of laughed at it. Knowing R's history with girls, I wanted to warn them to take that sort of stuff seriously and really not let him get away with that behavior. I told them about R's history with the other girl (which I now regret ever mentioning her, should never have brought her into it and just made it worse for her), and they seemed to really start to bear down on the behavior more, but they continued to be friends with him (I sort of hung out with him occasionally too, but only because of mutual friends and I tried to avoid him as much as possible).
​
After a while, I cut off that group of people for various reasons (partly because they wouldn't stop being friends with R, but also, long story short, they weren't very good friends). I still saw them around school and hung out with them occasionally because, while they weren't good friends, I still cared about them and enjoyed their company. Recently, however, I've gotten nothing but dirty looks and passive aggressive conversation from the group, along with them claiming that the stuff that happened between R and the original girl never happened. This has, by extension, made a lot of other people I know start to dislike me, and I'm not exactly sure why. Am I the asshole for bringing up the topic to the group in the first place? They still hang out with him, and whenever I did still occasionally talk to them, they didn't speak about him fondly, but now all of a sudden they seem to completely side with him and a lot of my old friends don't like me anymore.
​
I probably left stuff out, and of course there are some other things going on but nothing that I could think is significant. I really just want some form of outside view on how I handled the situation, however critical it may be.
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|
AITA for breaking up with my boyfriend
|
I heard from his friends that he used to sleep around a lot. He basically lied about being a virgin. It's just kinda of disgusting that he had 10+ sexual partners. I was a virgin before I met him. I confronted him about this and he just got triggered. He started throwing things around, when I told him we were over. 5 hours later, I start getting text messages from his friends saying that he wants to kill himself because of me.
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HISTORICAL
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AITA for dating a threesome partner shortly after my boyfriend and I broke up?
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So the people involved are me [26F], my recent ex-bf "Matt" [26M] and my new gf "Stella" [25F].
Matt and I dated for two years, during which time we had several threesomes with female friends and women we connected with on Tinder. I am bisexual so this was great for both of us, and it didn't bother me too much that he wasn't open to an MMF because he's straight and I respect not wanting to, even if I never would have had him do anything directly with the other guy. But that is neither here nor there. We dated, we had threeways semi-frequently, and we eventually broke up about two months ago due to a number of reasons, but the main thing was differing values. One big thing is that he didn't like me participating in LGBT stuff—going to pride, being in an LGBT meetup group, etc.—and it annoyed me that he seemed to only appreciate my bisexuality when it directly benefited him.
So we broke up two months ago. Very shortly after (to be honest it was like...a week) I met Stella, a girl we had had a threeway with, at one of my club events and we kind of hit it off. I was honestly not intending to get into another relationship so fast, but we really hit it off and I had been unhappy in my relationship with Matt for several months before we officially broke up, so I felt like I had already mourned that relationship sufficiently and didn't want to miss an opportunity just because I felt it might be "too soon."
Matt and I share a friend group so we haven't cut contact. We don't hang out one on one, but since it was a fairly amicable breakup we've just been a little distant but cordial. I have not brought Stella around to hang out with any mutual friends yet, but word has gotten back to Matt that we are dating. He is actually really upset about it and told our friends that we had had a threeway with Stella before. He has been sending me instagram messages basically saying "not cool" and that I should have known Stella and any other 3way girl was off limits for either of us, and accused me of cheating while we were dating.
I think I should be able to date whoever I want, but I'm worried I might be TA because of the timing of it.
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "spamming a subreddit",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 8
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|
AITA for spamming a subreddit?
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So about 3-4 months ago, I made a post in r/SquaredCircle of a link to an article discussing wrestling. A lot of the members immediately commented on the post and started shitting all over it just because it was an article from Ringside News. The began to downvote every comment I made and I literally lost 100 karma on one post.
So, a couple weeks later I used an alt and posted an article from Ringside News (commonly referred to as RSN on r/SquaredCircle.) Again, they eviscerated my account just for posting an article from RSN. This gave me a sick idea.
One user in particular, u/JT_Diamond, made it his personal mission to destroy the RSN website. He actually drew the conclusion that accounts were coming here to AITA to “amass karma” before heading over to r/SquaredCircle to post but he didn’t realize that the spam filter restricted a new account from posting for 48 hours, not based on the amount of karma said account had. He’s a moron but he made the trolling much more worth it.
I began to create multiple alts and randomly post RSN articles. Most of the time they began to eviscerate them, no matter if the article was genuine or not. So over the last couple of weeks, I’ve used multiple VPNs to circumvent IP bans and bypass spam filters to constantly flood them with posts. Today alone, I managed to post more than 30 articles, to which now they have increased their spam filter to avoid these posts. Now, you’re probably thinking that I couldn’t have possibly done that because Reddit applies spam filters to accounts first, then IP addresses. The truth is, I created over 30 alts and used multiple VPN services to spoof my IP address.
Am I the asshole? Maybe it’s easy to say yes, but I was just a Reddit user trying to create conversation and I was annihilated for it, so I took action the only way I know how.
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HISTORICAL
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"description": "not helping wife in this situation",
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AITA for not helping wife in this situation?
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I love her to death and this is my ONLY qualm with her, which is amazing, but my wife (let's call her GD) is the messiest person I've known (her car looks like cookie monster hangs out in there, I'm not joking). B/c we suck at it we have a cleaning lady who comes every two weeks, the house stays clean for about 2 days before it's destroyed again. Then the night before the she is due back GD wants us to stay up late to clean the house before it's cleaned (cleaning lady does deeper cleaning, not tidy our tedious messes).
After doing this about 20x, talking about it and not seeing any improvement in the trend, and some changing circumstances (GD is going to quit her job to dive full time into her own biz, which is cookie decorating and doesn't help with the mess) I told her I wanted to stop having someone clean our house. Understandably she was against it but given the info at hand I still felt like we were throwing money down the drain and creating a bigger headache for ourselves by having to stay up hours on end on a work night trying to tidy up for it to be respectable enough for it to be cleaned well. It feels like one of the most futile tasks ever and costs us about $250 a month or so.
Lately I haven't helped much the night before. I stopped for a multitude of reasons such as I typically work out at night b/c our kids go to bed late (her request), the money doesn't appear to be well spent imo, we don't keep it clean, it's legitimately mostly her mess, etc. It's caused a few spats, never serious b/c really it's not that big of a deal, but I still wanted to get some input here. Am I the asshole for 1.) wanting to get rid of the cleaning lady since it feels like a waste, and 2.) since she put her foot down on that not helping out each week prior to the cleaning lady coming leaving her to spend a few hours picking up (her own messes, mostly)?
Lastly, just for more context, in our time together I am the one who cooks, does dishes and laundry, puts away our kids laundry and my own (while hers sits around in piles for weeks), sweeps the house every other day, and I'm pretty damn good at picking up my mess as I go. Right now I GUARANTEE there are no less than 8 diet coke cans (all about half full) on her nightstand.
TL;DR - my wife is incredibly messy, we have a cleaning lady but it's a waste, I want to stop paying someone to clean our house and she said no, so I no longer help out each time prior to the cleaning lady coming b/c it's a hassle and we're already incredibly busy plus it's mostly her mess as I clean as I go
Thanks all!
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"description": "telling my girlfriend she's not funny",
"pronormative_score": 5,
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|
WIBTA If I told my girlfriend she’s not funny?
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So don’t get me wrong, I love my gf and all that good stuff but this is something that’s been going on for about 2 years now.
When we first started dating I was spending a lot of time with her friends and this is when I first started noticing. Someone could say something funny, someone will follow it up with a witty comeback, & we all burst into laughter. Then my gf will toss in a joke that completely kills all the laughter. And not the “so bad that it’s funny” kind of joke, but the “how did you think that’d even contribute to the laughter?” kind. For example, say that we’re all in the dorm kitchen making fajitas or something:
Person 1: I swear the minute I even think I smell something burning I’m going to McDonalds
Person 2: I spent $50 on these ingredients so you better McFuckouttahere and eat this.
*we all chuckle*
GF: Were you really gonna choose a quarter pounder over these fajitas man come on haha
And the thing is that while most people would cringe at no one laughing at their joke, it doesn’t affect her whatsoever & she’ll be ready to deliver a new one within a few minutes. Like I said, I still love her & this is in no way detrimental to our relationship or anything. And also she actually is really down to earth & interesting to talk to, she just sucks at comedy. A real life example is the first time she met my parents. On our way down we passed through a small town with a funny name (let’s just say Flippybay) & chuckled about it for like 15 seconds before moving on to something else. 7 hours later we get to my house, parents are super excited to see us, they ask how the trip was & the first thing she ever says to my parents is “Would’ve been cooler if we didn’t have to go through Flippybay haha.” They obviously have no idea what she’s talking about but laugh anyway. I just silently cringe to myself & go on with the night.
So anyway, I haven’t really said anything about this to her yet because she isn’t doing any harm & as far she’s concerned she’s just being fun. The only reason I’m concerned is because I don’t want her to embarrass herself & I’d hate for someone else to tell her before I do. Also, having to laugh with her and/or contribute to her joke for the sake of her saving face is getting kinda old.
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b181rq
| null |
AITA: Me and my group made it to nationals, my group member is pressuring me into doing something i dont want to do (don't worry its not drugs)
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**Context:**
Note: a team must consist of 3-6 members, or else they can't go.
Me, and three other group members made it to Nationals for our Public Service Announcement by getting third place. Top three go. We also participated in biomedical debate, but we got ninth place for that so we are not going.
Another group of three members got second place for Public Service Announcement (so they are going), and another group of four members got fifth place (they are not going) but one of them dropped out.
A group of 4 members made it to nationals for Biomedical Debate, but three of them dropped out, and a group of three seniors got tenth for Biomedical Debate.
The second place team for PSA (public service announcement) asked our group and the other group if we would like to merge.
**So here is the problem:**
The girl from biomedical debate can't go to nationals because her group members dropped out. The three seniors girls who also participated in biomedical debate could potentially join her team, but i don't know if they will. Since our team participated in biomedical debate, any two of us could hop on to the girl's team and she could go to nationals. But, I don't want to and neither does anyone else from out group.
My group member keeps on pressuring me to join the team for biomedical debate, since I basically carried the group for biomedical debate and he carried for PSA. I enjoy debate, but I would prefer to do PSA at nationals.
My advisor says that we can't merge groups with the second place team, but the fifth place team can. I think the fifth place team is going to merge with second place.
In my point of view, it feels like my group member is trying to kick me off the team and trying to force me to join the girl's team. He keeps saying that "the girl cant go to nationals even though she qualified" but if he cares so much about the girl, then why doesn't he just join the girl's team?
But, I don't bring much to the PSA because I am not a film maker, but the guy who is forcing me, is a film maker.
I don't want to join the girl's biomedical debate team and I want to stay on my PSA team.
AITA for not joining? Is he the ahole for pressuring me?
I would appreciate it if you guys could give me some advice, if you have any questions, just comment it and I will respond. I am on the edge about switching to Biomedical debate or staying on PSA and your comments will help me decide. Thanks so much!
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awcoli
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"description": "threatening a break up because my boyfriend won't go out with me",
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AITA for threatening a break up because my boyfriend won't go out with me
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Okay for a little context, I've been in a relationship with "Ren" for about 10 months now. I wouldn't say it's a loving relationship because I'm practically the only one trying at this point.
He's a gamer bi dude that's still in the closet with his family.
Now in the beginning he was really sweet, he would move his best friend of 7+ years just so I could sit next to him. He would wait for me outside of my class when they ended. He would text me asking where I was when I was late.
But that lasted about a good month and then stopped. But the thing is, over time I've come to actually love Ren despite that.
Recently though, he would have times off weeks or multiple days at a time and as an outgoing guy I like eating out and watching movies and maybe the occasional park. He doesn't tell me anywhere he'd like to go so I bring him to places I like, maybe enabling him to develop his own opinion. But nada.
In 10 months we've gone on 4 dates alone together. 4. Every other time I would join him in his DND campaigns or get blown off. 20 times I've been blown off and by now I've gotten pissed at him.
He would say he's busy but then I hear from his friend that they met up two days in a row. Honestly I'm glad he's spending time with them, but it feels like he'd rather spend his time with literally anyone else.
I try to offer to spend time with him at home if he doesn't want to go out but still.. nada. I get that he's still in the closet so I'm not just gonna go up and grab his ass whenever, so like???
I threatened a break up with him he doesn't change this and I feel kind of an ass? Is my psyche just being over self critical again or does/do it/I have a point?
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HISTORICAL
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ak0tej
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"description": "leaving (fleeing from) my friends early with my date",
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AITA for leaving (fleeing from) my friends early with my date?
|
First post, might get a little longer (sorry), tl;dr at the end.
This happened yesterday and I am really stressed out by it, I will discuss it with my friends but I guess I'd like to have some opinions from uninvolved people first.
​
A little backstory first:
Yesterday was the funeral of the grandmother of a friend of mine. She hated her because her whole life, the grandma was rude and mean to her, she was a real bitch. So my friend wasn't sad but still stressed cause the whole situation was confusing, obviously.
I offered for her to come over to my place after the funeral, I have the nicest and cuddliest cats living with me to give comfort and would have cooked for her. These were the original plans for yesterday (Friday).
The other part of the backstory is that I've started dating a guy living 1.5 hrs away from me (I will call him date). It's not that much but we kind of rely on seeing each other on weekends because we both work. It's no big deal but as it's still fresh and we like each other a lot (I've never been with a sweeter and kinder human being) we kind of want to see each other once a week.
In my mind it would have worked out to have my friend over, be there for her and then meeting date around 9, maybe even have a drink all together (my friends haven't met him yet).
Now, I realized in advance that this arrangement might contain potential conflict and actually felt a little bit like a snitch for absolutely wanting to see date (I have seen him last weekend and will see him next), but I also had a bad week (toothache since Monday turning me into a cranky baby, long days at work for parent meetings-I'm a teacher-other work that needed to be finished) and really just wanted the calming presence of date.
Yesterday morning, friend texted me very happily her results of her bachelor exam which were absolutely great, so she said she feels very happy and confident now and wanted to go drinking in the evening. so we agreed to go to a bar. I also let her know that I won't be staying late and as well as won't be drinking a lot because of my mofos of teeth and that date will be there too.
In advance, I didn't want to pressure her into giving me exact info about when (or if) she would come to me, I just let her know that she can text me once the gathering after the funeral is over and tell me what she wants to do. This also meant that I just organized my day as if I didn't have any plans because there was a lot to be finished. I still had to submit something to a prof of mine (I am also at uni) and Friday is cleaning day. I actually wanted to go to the gym but in the end I didn't have time anymore and skipped that.
At 6pm friend wrote in a group chat that she's heading home now and will be ready for us to come over if we wanted before going to the bar to celebrate her bachelor. At this time I was home, cutting fruit to make juice because it started to rot and I hate throwing away food. I still needed to shower so in the end it became clear that I wouldn't make it to her before date arrived and we'd just meet in the bar (actually agreed with date that he'd come to the bar on his own and I will be with friends first).
So in the end I went to pick up date at the station and it was nice to see him, I was happy, we were at the bar first and had good talks.
Entry friends (original friend and other friend, they had gotten really close in the last few months): they were both looking super nice (I didn't dress up or put on make up at all; I am including this to say that from the first second on it was like two groups - party mode and casually sipping a drink mode), came to our place and said hi.
Now a lot of stuff happened between the lines but I felt like they were subtly aggressive towards date or basically the two of us, made stupid remarks about us dating (we never make out in public and opened up the conversation as soon as they arrived so us being in "date mode" shouldn't have been an issue).
Some examples:
* leaving us going to talk to another guy, coming back telling us "X said he'll be coming to crash your date soon"
* said guy would later walk past me and elbow me in the ribs - coincidence?
* making fun of me because I told them I saved two chairs next to us (they were standing a little awkwardly behind us).
* just being hyped up and saying weird, uncomfortable things
When they left to smoke a cigarette, date asked why they didn't like him, that he doesn't understand what's wrong, which broke my heart and as I felt really shitty too I decided to leave. I asked him if this was ok, he didn't want to take me away from my friends but I made clear that I didn't want to be with them at the moment because they (in my view) were assholes, so we said goodbye, they reacted, what a surprise, with a snappy look, and we left.
We later went to another bar and I started crying because I was so stressed out, I felt responsible for this whole shit. Then later back home I cried again when I told my flatmate and today I had a near panic attack because I was scared he might leave me. I know this is stupid and I don't really think he would but I really like him and I think this could be a longterm thing so I want my friends to get along with him and I want him to feel welcome.
To be clear:
I think the shitty part on my side was double booking my evening.
I don't feel especially bad for only being ready at 9 for I don't see the point of waiting around a whole day to be ready when someone else is.
I feel bad for telling my friend I'd be there and then not be there for her.
I will talk to both of them, that's why I wrote down all of this, to get some different perspectives on what happened and to better plan what I'm gonna say/to prepare myself mentally.
I hope this doesn't come off as validation seeking for it's not meant to be and I am sure that some of you will think IATA.
Am I?
​
tl;dr: Told a friend I'd be there for her in a difficult situation, ended up only seeing her in a bar with other friends and my date, they were hostile towards me and date so we fled the scene early.
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ayc0or
| null |
AITA married his best friend
|
I had been on and off with a guy for 8 years and He and I moved in with his mum and sister to help support them, I lost my house I was renting which was nice and just as big as the house we moved into. We got Rats and I babysat for his family, as well as driving them all around.
A few weeks later I started a business and he no longer had any work... I worked my ass off and still helped around the house and drive everyone everywhere... picked the sister up from school and made sure everything was taken care of.
He eventually a job for 6 hrs a week and decided I should continue paying all the Bills since it was more convenient as I was receiving regular income. He would use my money for games and stuff and at one point I got him a gym membership to help raise his self confidence (his request).
His best mate started helping with my business as it was far too much for just me, and we all started going swimming at night and hanging out with friends just to keep our minds stimulated. My partner at the time declined until a girl began joining us (keep in mind he had cheated on me in high school before we had had sex... sexting etc) and I was always working or seeing friends or babysitting or driving.
We had a discussion about children and I said not until I have my life sorted. He asked the other girl and she said she wants a kid now, so they talk and get closer... eventually i said she could use him to help her BUT I want a written contract that we have no emotional, mental or fiscal responsibility to that child and nothing is to happen until that is drawn up.
A couple of weeks later he actually abused me. I forgave him as I thought maybe it's just stress, but one day he buttdialled me and he was with her (he told me he was going to the gym, and they weren't to be alone until the contract was written up because I wanted no responsibility for raising her child).
He came back and made up some story about how it was my fault and I basically told him we were no longer together. I would stay to help support his family but that's it... and he was to leave the shared room asap, and move up to his old bedroom. I didn't care who he fucked but it wasn't me and it wasn't in my bed.
Part 2 in comments
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AITA If I try to offer someone a tissue?
|
So let me explain, as I am genuinely concerned that I messed up somehow.
So in my business class, I sit next to a guy named (let’s call him Ken). Ken and I have never really talked; he is really quiet and likes to keep to himself. I’ve made a joke here and there throughout the year, but it’s never gone past that, until today.
There’s been a bad bug going around my town, and it seems everyone’s been fighting something at some point. I myself caught the bug, and have had a stuffy nose for the past few days. To help combat this, I always carry some pocket tissues in case I ever get stuck.
Now today, it became very obvious that Ken is feeling under the weather, because he began sniffing with great effort very frequently. It didn’t really bother me much at first, but in the span of 5 minutes it got drastically worse. (Now I really try not to mind other people’s business, but he was making such a scene it was hard not to notice). He began taking several lengthy and noisy breaths in, and eventually began blowing into his index finger as if it were a tissue, only to wipe whatever came out onto his pant leg.
We sit far back enough in the room that our professor can’t quite see what the commotion is, besides just a muffled sniffle, and the students in front of us rolled their eyes at each other.
It was at this point that I reached into my bag and handed Ken my last pack of tissues. I pushed it over to him and asked if he wanted to borrow mine. Immediately, his face got beet red, reluctantly took the tissues, and stifled a thank you. The rest of class went on about the same, accept he blew into the tissues.
After class, I began packing up my things, and Ken approached me, saying how he was really embarrassed that I called him out on his gross behavior. I was taken aback, as I thought I was just giving a kind gesture, and tried to explain how I was just trying to help. Ken explained that he now believed everyone else around us knows that he is a “gross individual.” Pissed off, he walked away quickly, before I could truly apologize. I looked over, and saw the two students in front of us giving me a harsh look. One of them spoke up, saying they also thought it was rude to offer him a tissue. Now I’m concerned that I made a bad move, and really embarrassed Ken beyond apology.
So reddit, AITA?
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azt941
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AITA Calling my friend a braggart (bragger)
|
Cast
Me : Me
B : Friend/Braggart
Okay so this happened today and people think I am the asshole. Quick note, I am a thirteen year old boy and in my school we always cuss a lot. But when we say it its actually not that harsh. For example : Sial, Bangang and more (I’ll translate in English)
To the story
So B came to our class because we are the only 2 class (My class and another) who taught in English for Math and Science. The rest are taught in my native language. B was actually pretty cool. He was so fat that everybody thought he was cute including me(not gay).
So during our Math period, I liked to do tasks that teachers wont tell us to do. This is because I was taught way earlier in middle school. (We start high school at 13 yo). I loved Math and my teacher didn’t care but was confused at first. And then B came in. Mind you we were facing face to face so I had to see his face every time he’s being a braggart. During Math, he always calls me out saying
B - Dave, (not my real name) what are you doing?Teacher didn’t tell you to do that one
Me - Yeah, I know but I learnt this during middle school
B - Stupid / Bodoh (if you translate in eng its weird)
Next time during Math period B told me he was inspired to do like me during Math period
B - Dave, I’m going to do my school work just like you.
Me - No, you should probably learn it first before you do it. I’ve learnt square root during middle school.
B brushes it off
And then B got confused, he asked teacher. Teacher told him not to do it and why would he do it
B. WAS. FURIOUS
B - Dave, what the fuck why did you make me do that
Me - Why me? You were the one who wanted to do it just like me. I even told you to not do it yet if you haven’t learnt it!
And here comes today, today is our test week so we had to study everything. During recess I brought my book to the cafeteria. (They don’t let you in the class during recess) And then comes B. B also brought the same book as me. I then call up to my friend to help me study.
The following conversation goes
Me - (skipping to 3rd paragraph) The third paragraph means everyone has— (what I’m trying to say is everyone has advantages and disadvantages in yourself that’s different)
Gets cut off
B - Its not the meaning you stupid.
Looking confused because the actual meaning is even though he has disadvantages, surely he has advantages of himself too. Oh boy here we go.
Me - Stop being such a braggart. Is it wrong to change the sentence?!
B - SINCE WHEN IM SUCH A BRAGGART
B went red in his face and storms off. Everyone thinks I’m in the wrong. During class I overheard B saying Dave is so stupid
Me - Like I said, is it wrong to change the sentences?
And then we haven’t talked yet. AITA for calling my friend a braggart.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
EVERYBODY
|
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|
WRONG
|
iM3bWUfQcb4R5npUxgoIDeVrMolU63cd
|
ay11n2
| null |
AITA for a bookstore chair fiasco?
|
So my wife and I were at a major retailer bookstore last weekend. She and I were sitting in some chairs perusing a book or two - it was quite busy as it was a rainy weekend. I got done looking at my book and wandered off to find something else to look at. About ten minutes later I notice another seat in the 4 chair circle is open so I grab something and head back.
When I got to the seat there were four books in the chair (all three other seats were taken). I leaned over to pick up the books and my wife says “hey I think the guy sitting there was saving the seat”, but I was like meh whatevs, no one pays to sit here so I picked up the books and set them on the table and sat down.
Within 30 seconds the guy (we’ll call him book guy or bg) shows up and the following conversation ensues:
BG: hey man I was sitting there. Me: I’m sorry, I’m pretty sure these seats are public use. When I got up earlier someone else sat where I was and I waited for another seat to open. BG: (becoming irate) but I set my books on the chair! Me: you mean (insert store name here)’s books? BG: yeah but I picked them out Me: okay I’m pretty sure putting other people’s stuff on other people’s stuff doesn’t make that now your stuff BG: you clearly don’t understand, asshole Me: I mean, I understand I just don’t care
Anyway, I feel like I was being pricking but come to find out my wife and another woman sitting there said after he had been gone for like 10 minutes and a few other people had been turned away by the books. I just thought his expecting to save the seat was ridiculous and probably was more confrontational than I should have been.
What do y’all think, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
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}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
E28qMGbiKmJdlRRMZJIJHO6CCdQOnPoT
|
a7p210
|
{
"description": "ruining my ex's life",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 11
}
|
AITA for ruining my ex's life?
|
Two important notes to start with. One is that because of past problems I keep a hidden camera in my living room and I live in a single party consent state. And two is that in my living room I keep a money jar for my daughter. She decides what she wants we take a picture of that thing and tap it onto the front of the jar along with the cost of it. When ever she does chores she gets a set amount of money put in the jar as well as she gets a bit of money each week that she can use to buy snacks and stuff at school if she wants. But any money she doesn't spend on snacks go into her jar.
Now to the situation;
I recently started to date this guy. He seems like a decent guy. We get along and we are both in similar situations. We are both single parents. He as shared custody with his son's mom and I have shared custody with my daughters father.
a lot of the times when neither of us have out kids he will come over and we will drink wine, get high, and have an awesome night of sex.
There was one particular night where he came over with a small bag of coke. This isn't my thing, I will happily stick to alcohol and weed, but he really wanted to try it so I didn't care what he did.
Well one day I notice that some of my daughters money seemed to be missing. My daughter just had a sleep over so I assumed he was her or one of her friends. I look at the recording and it turns out it is my piece of shit (now ex) boyfriend!
I confront him and he gives the money back and then some and we break up. But I am still so pissed that he would steal for a child. Especially my kid!
So I uploaded the video of him trying coke and I send it to his HR. I stalk him on social media (I don't use any social media other than Reddit) in order to find out who his ex wife is to send her the same video so she can use it for custody if she wants. And not only do I find her but it turns out he isn't single and has actually remarried!
So I send the video to his ex wife then upload a video of us fucking and send it to his current wife apologizing for not knowing he was married.
I kinda feel like I over reacted but damn it feels good!
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 11
}
|
WRONG
|
Woq8am9DrIiI9mPJbf8L9rNlMakkCyIf
|
a4jgiz
|
{
"description": "asking my roommate to start paying half of the electric bill and to have more boundaries",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA if I ask my roommate to start paying half of the electric bill and to have more boundaries?
|
My roommate and I have lived together for almost 2 years now. When we first moved in, there was a bit of a controversy over who got the bigger room. I obviously wanted the bigger room so I told her I would cover the electric bill for the extra 5 square feet of space (stupid, I know).
This year, I am in the apartment a lot less because I go home to visit my family more often. Our electric bill has been obnoxiously high lately for only two people living here, especially since I’m only here a few days out of the week. She is here every day of the week and is terrible at turning off the lights or the television. I usually fall asleep before her, but when I wake up in the morning I notice that she turned on every light in the kitchen and living area including the lights being on in her bedroom. Not only is keeping the lights on all day every day a waste of money, it’s not good for the environment. I tried to be nice about it by telling her to try to be better at turning off the lights if she isn’t using them.
Last year, I went grocery shopping for the apartment often, and she just constantly ate the food I would buy. I don’t have a problem sharing bread, butter, or any of the basics, but she thinks that everything is free range for her. This year I started buying less groceries because I am here less, but she still finds a way to eat all of my groceries. She makes all of my coffee k-cups and she doesn’t even finish the coffee. I don’t use anything of hers or eat any of her food (because she doesn’t buy any). On top of everything, she is the most entitled person I’ve ever met. She doesn’t have a job and treats her parents (who give her all of her money) like they’re an inconvenience to her.
She is also very messy, she will leave her stuff in the living area for days on end... from laundry and textbooks to her cats litter box (which we agreed would stay in her room). I also didn’t agree to a cat in the first place, considering I’m allergic.
She comes into my bedroom whenever she wants and who knows what she does when I’m not here. We’ve been friends for years but it’s ridiculous how little boundaries she has and how little she chips in for ANYTHING. I know I’m a pushover and should have addressed this earlier, but I just don’t want to feel like I’ll be the one in the wrong if I do. I’m just tired of being a pushover.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
1YKExmyty0D1OnkiptQ6yvb9KaxaP3wv
|
aervl2
|
{
"description": "giving my Boyfriend an ultimatum",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA For Giving My Boyfriend An Ultimatum?
|
Throwaway. TLDR at the bottom.
​
Background: My SO and I have been together for three years and live together with our dog. All of our couples friends have been getting engaged or married recently. Whenever someone asks us what our marriage plans are my SO is quick to say we are just happy being together and not worried about that part of the future yet. Realistically, we are nowhere near being ready to get engaged, but I think after three years it is a discussion we should start having. Normally we are very happy together. He is my best friend and I know he would no absolutely anything to keep me safe. You will not hear about any of his wonderful redeeming qualities in the rest of this post.
​
My SO rarely talks about his feelings, particularly about me, our relationship, and our future together. He does not make pans with me the way most couples seem to and, frames things as though we are complete individuals, not a couple. (For example, if he wants to get dinner with someone, he'll always say something like 'I'm going to get dinner with so-and-so tonight' and my invitation is supposedly implied, rather than ever asking/inviting me, or even using we/us instead of I/me when he makes plans.) We don't often cuddle and we aren't intimate very often. My SO's family lives fairly close so we see them often, and I feel like part of their family. However, my family lives farther away my SO is always disgruntled to spend time visiting them, (or even having dinner with them if they visit our city) and has started a fight nearly every trip we've made together. When one of my friends invites us to parties or gatherings, my SO will tell me I should bring my sister or literally anyone else as a +1 as he is fairly introverted. He says these things are because he values his free time more than anything else and does not want to have to answer to someone else's schedule.
​
All of these things contribute to me sometimes feeling like we are just friends with occasional benefits or roommates vs a couple. My SO will occasionally drop something hinting that he wants us to be together for a long time like, 'I'm upset when you call the dog mine, not ours, because it sounds like you don't think we'll stay together and he's basically our practice for how we'd raise a child together." He's been complaining about having to take care of the dog alone in the morning and wants me to wake up earlier to help so he can leave for work earlier. He already wakes up before me, showers, then gets back in bed until 15 minutes before I need to leave, and then takes the dog out after it's time for me to go. I already do all of the cleaning around our apartment, dishes, and feed/take the dog out in the afternoon and evening.
​
Recently, my best friend went through a break up with a long term partner and that led me to asking my SO how he saw our future together. He got very defensive and said he doesn't like to talk about feelings. Claimed I am obsessed with religion when I asked about about us raising mixed religion children, and was adamant that I am not a minority (I am light skinned but a religious/ethnic minority) when I said passing on my heritage was important and I wanted my SO to support me in teaching my children about that heritage. When I asked what their feelings were about our future he whined that he didn't want to talk about it, didn't know what I wanted him to answer, and should not worry about our future together until we get to the point of marriage.
​
Getting him to discuss the future is like pulling teeth, and while I am not ready to get engaged it is still something I think we need to discuss before moving the relationship forward any farther. Out of desperation I am starting to feel like the only way to make any plans or come to any conclusions is to issue an ultimatum.
​
TLDR: I do not want to get engaged or married not having a plan for things like how we'll spend holidays or raise kids. I don't want to spend my life feeling like a roommate and not a partner. WIBTA for telling my SO if they don't start pulling some weight, treating me more like a partner, and honestly discussing our futures by the time our lease ends I will move out and leave them?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
QeostVTmQ2RvXIj2gitC4LvwMktNAFsH
|
ak7rog
| null |
AITA got a strike in a discord server for calling a supposed "non binary" character male.
|
Got a strike in a server im in for cookie run. It was for saying im gonna refer to Dark Choco Cookie how i want. Hes apparently "non binary" cause no gender is in his bio, though he clearly looks male.
It started with me saying i should add a character from cookie run into Tomodachi Life. I said i woukd add him but i have too many males. (i have 50 and max islanders is 100) The cookie, nor devs ever stated that hes non binary. Someone said he was Non binary, so i said i didnt care and would refer to them how i want. Everyone else starred blowing it way out of proportion. I was given tbe strike when i didnt even really start the fight.
As i said, I called the character a he, someone said theyre nb, i said "idc, im gonna refer to them how i want" then it escalated from there.
I never started the discourse because everyone else took it out of proportion. Because one of the rules said "do not start a fight over a characters gender/age/whatever"
Now, am i the asshole for just not caring about a fictional characters gender? Or is everyone else in the wrong for overreacting?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
xy7XYvds7HbzGFFS6d6lDCS0Hw1IQqJT
|
ajv2mc
|
{
"description": "sexting my friend",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 23
}
|
AITA for sexting my friend
|
I’ve been with my girlfriend Lisa for 2 years. Overall she’s a good girlfriend but she’s a little controlling and really insecure.
I have this friend Anna who I’ve known since high school who is a total smokeshow. We used to hookup but we stopped about 3 years ago. Lisa HATES Anna. She thinks that Anna acts inappropriately toward me and she’s not totally wrong but I think it’s unfair of Lisa to try to control my friendships. Anyway Lisa doesn’t know that Anna and I used to hookup so she shouldn’t have any reason to feel insecure.
A few months ago Anna started sending me nudes over Snapchat. The first time she did it she said that she was drunk and meant to send it to someone else but I told her that I liked the picture so she started sending them to me more often.
When she sends the nudes, I tell her that she looks sexy and sometimes I tell her what I wish I could do to her but I’ve ALWAYS made it clear that we can’t hook up because I have a girlfriend. I’ve also never sent her nudes back.
I know Lisa wouldn’t be happy about this but it’s basically the same as porn so i didn’t think it was that bad. I haven’t hooked up with Anna since Lisa and I got together so I’m still being faithful.
Anyway somehow Lisa found out that I’ve been sexting Anna and wants to break up with me. Idk how she found out because she won’t tell me. She says I cheated even though I explained to her that I haven’t actually done anything with Anna.
Lisa never told me that she thought sexting was cheating or that I wasn’t allowed to do it so I think she’s being unfair by not giving me a second chance.
I know I’m not totally in the right here but I think Lisa is more wrong because she’s mad at me for something that we never decided was against the rules.
TLDR: Girlfriend wants to break up because I sexted a friend but I didn’t think sexting was cheating. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 23,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 23
}
|
WRONG
|
cKBr2zNc2wvLikcKtPhPiIX5dFbEjrpl
|
aac2vx
|
{
"description": "cancelling my joint birthday party",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I cancel my joint birthday party.
|
A friend and I have birthdays in January. Because we're in our thirties, we have made plans to do a large, combined, party with a lot of our mutual friends. The plan is to spend two days in an Airbnb in a mountain resort town two hours outside of our town. Not sure if this detail is pertinent or not, but I booked and paid for the Airbnb. The idea is to collect equal shares of the cost when we're at the house.
Here's the dilemma: I'm having doubts about going. Here are the reasons.
1. Of the four couples whom are attending, three of them are on some type of no-alcohol program for the month of January. One entire couple is doing a 'dry January' program wherein they don't drink alcohol for the month. They won't make an exception for the trip. However, come February 1st they go hard with a huge party. Another couple is six months pregnant, and the husband is doing the same 'dry January' thing. Finally, my birthday co-conspirator is training for a 50 mile run later in January. He's on a strict diet and isn't consuming alcohol. That leaves me and my wife. Like I said, I'd have fun and enjoy myself, but this scenario has happened in the past with all of these friends just watching me drink and eat like a glutton (it's my birthday!). It's not nearly as fun as it sounds. Everyone usually ends up going to bed around 10:00pm.
2. The whole trip will be around $400-$500 for each couple. That seems ridiculous to me for the amount of projected fun to be had. We all live in the same town, see each other frequently, and could easily make another plan that would be less expensive, or even reschedule it to the spring or summer, which I think would be more fun.
3. Finally, during the trip, we would miss my daughter's choir singing the national anthem at our local hockey team. We didn't know this until after the trip was booked.
Would I be the asshole if I cancelled the trip? I'm going to speak with my buddy for whom this is a joint party, but I'm 95% going to cancel the trip and make other plans. If the other couples end up going to the cabin, that's perfectly fine and I won't be bent out of shape. They'll be able to rebook the house with one of their accounts. It's just that I don't want to celebrate this way. I'd rather do something else or do something low key with my kids. I'll be turning 31, so it's not like this is a landmark or important day in any way. My wife thinks I'll be a total asshole if I cancel this, but I don't see it at all.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
nFBSYSEV4mRvYWXNFadlQim6gwEw8L2u
|
agmpcz
|
{
"description": "not inviting some of my mom's family to my wedding",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not inviting some of my mom's family to my wedding?
|
AITA
I'm getting married in October, and I'm trying to keep the guest list to people who are good friends and family (we're anticipating about 100-130 guests). My wedding is in London where we live (most of my side are from Florida/the States), but my fiance is from London. My dad's side of the family is considerably larger than my mom's (parents are divorced FYI, but pretty civil), and I have always been much closer to them, but I have decided to only invite my aunts and uncles and first cousins from both sides. I have invited my uncle and his family from my mother's side because I grew up having a relationship with them and always see them when I visit. My mom has one other brother who is estranged and no one speaks to (I met him one time when I was a toddler), which is fine as she is not asking him to be invited, nor would she want him there.
However, she keeps demanding that I invite my great aunt and three of her cousins. I barely have a relationship with them. I see them once maybe every ten years, and we don't speak otherwise. I don't even know the names of some of their kids who are around my age. We're not close and never have been. I don't dislike them or anything (I don't particularly care for her aunt and one of the cousins because I find them a bit rude and weird, and one of them talked shit about me to my mom at my gran's funeral). But it's now become a huge argument between us. She's brought it up 5 times after I've repeatedly said no, and we just had a big fight about it. She thinks they might not even come, so I should just send them an invitation, but I know they have money and most are semi-retired, so I think they might. I've told her that we're only inviting my aunts, uncles, and first cousins, and I'm not inviting any of my dad's cousins or his aunts. Her argument is "they're family and would do anything for me". I told my mom that she was starting to make my wedding about her, and she implied that because I'm her daughter, it is a little about her.
I wouldn't expect to be invited to any of her cousin's kid's major life events, and I haven't been. And when I went to California, her cousin didn't offer to let me stay at her place when she had let my mom and other sisters, which is fine, I don't really mind, but to me, that takes away from the argument of "they would do anything for me". Also, one of the cousins had said my older sister could stay with her in NYC and then rescinded her offer a few weeks before she was scheduled to fly there.
Bottom line is, I'm not, nor have I ever been close with this part of my mom's family and wouldn't really want them there, but it's starting to cause problems between my mom and me. And now I'm not sure if I should just send them an invite to ease the tension between us.
AITA for not inviting them?
Side note: we have a limited budget (my dad and my fiance's parents are splitting the cost)
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
iiQ6VRM1VrQlx58luot2IlEgekdQS6UY
|
azsa15
|
{
"description": "not giving my seatmate the answer while he helped me in some questions",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for not giving my seatmate the answer while he helped me in some questions?
|
So we just had a quiz and I ask asking him some answers and he gave it freely. Minutes passed I saw him trying to say something to me but I cant quite understand what he was trying to sat so I assumed he was asking if I got the answer right, so I just kept smiling and nodding at him. The quiz finished and as I approached him he was so mad at me because he didnt get any answers from me. I told him "I thought you didnt need any" and he said that time where I just smiled and nodded, he was actually asking for some answers.
I feel bad for not sharing the answer and might cause them to fail the subject. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
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