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b3w65u
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{
"description": "going to work on a movie set the night of my son's surgery",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I went to work on a movie set the night of my son’s surgery.
|
On mobile, so formatting and whatnot.
I recently was booked to do background (extra) work on a movie that’s shooting in my hometown. I’ve done this several times before, but this movie is different. I’m a HUGE fan of this actor/director/writer’s movies, and I actually had to put in some effort to make my own costume for this role. So we’re talking about a months work of prep. I was booked for 6 days which are typically 12 or more hour days. I should also note that my son is 13, and has recently discovered these movies. He was an instant fan. Had this not had an age requirement, he’d have tried to book the job, too.
Yesterday, my son fell during gym class and broke his arm at the growth plate. It was confirmed today that he will need surgery. Tomorrow morning. Bright and early.
My call times (the time you need to arrive) have typically been around 2-3pm. His surgery is scheduled for 6:30 and he is expected to be back home no later than 10. No question I’m there for the surgery. I asked him if he wants me to stay home tomorrow to take care of him. He said he is fine with me going in, since he’ll be sleeping anyway. He’s excited that he gets to brag that his mom is in the film. Keep in mind, his dad and younger sister will be home with him, and my parents live 10 minutes away (we are very close).
I know he realistically will just be resting. And we could use all the extra hours of work we can get now that we have a few hospital bills. And I’m really loving this movie job. But I feel like I’d be a shitty mom if I went. WIBTA?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "making my daughter call my family once a week",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
WIBTA if I made my daughter call my family once a week?
|
Our daughter is still too young to use a phone, so that's why it is hypothetical. The title maybe doesn't totally capture what I'm trying to say.
My parents believe part of respecting your elders is that grandchildren call grandparents, not the other way around. I had a strict time each month that I spoke to my grandmother for 10 minutes (very long-distance was too expensive for more than that at the time).and she said, "Well, phones work both ways," and I told her that, in effect, no, they don't. This made her uncomfortable and here we are.
\[Since I know people will ask: Yes, my family is from a traditional culture with an emphasis on filial piety. That's about as much detail as I'm willing to give.\]
My wife on the other hand believes that it is 100% the responsibility of older family members to forge a relationship with kids and says she would be uncomfortable forcing our daughter to call her grandparents without more "reciprocity" or "effort" from my parents. What makes her really uncomfortable is that they would literally rather let months go by without talking to my daughter (or any of her grandkids) than pick up the phone and call her to talk. They would also be furious at the blatant display of disrespect that my daughter didn't call (or that we didn't make her call). My wife says that this means it is about a power play, not love. I think that's an unfairly harsh characterization of something that is just different and extremely common in my parents' culture.
To be fair, my wife walks the walk, and it's definitely her upbringing. She has lots of nieces and nephews that she actively goes out of her way to text, send small gifts and letters to, call on the phone, plan special trips to see them, etc. She says that she would never expect the onus to be on them for forming the relationship and it makes her uncomfortable to enforce something she doesn't believe in with our daughter. Similarly, her parents already send our daughter small gifts, writer her letters, etc., etc., and they will definitely initiate phone calls and communication with our daughter.
Honestly, I think it's a pretty standard cultural difference. We've been through a lot of those, but this is the first time we've discussed one that will directly affect my daughter. My parents will show love and effort, but just in a different way than my wife's western upbringing. I think it's good for my daughter to eventually realize that different people live in different ways, even within her own family. I think the diversity is good. Also I'd like my daughter to have a relationship with my parents and she definitely wouldn't if I tried to force them to subscribe to my wife's more individualistic philosophies.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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NOBODY
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{
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"WRONG": 3
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|
RIGHT
|
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|
a8c7gl
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{
"description": "not telling GF about nudes",
"pronormative_score": 18,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for not telling GF about Nudes
|
So GF and I have been together for a couple years. We have had a couple of issues with her being suspicious, and even accusatory towards me with regards to cheating. For the record, I have never cheated on her, I have never even come close to anything that approaches cheating, I love and adore her. That being said, she has been in 3 long term relationships before me, and each of those partners cheated on her at some point, so now she has a bit of a concern with that. We have had a couple of big fights about this before, once where she broke down in tears because she found a stash of condoms in a drawer. It took half an hour for me to calm her down and finally get her to look at the expiration dates on them to show her that they were from long before we dated. I am not cheating, I just never fucking clean.
​
So, last night I get a random text from a number I do not know. When I checked the area code it was from Baltimore, we live on the west coast. There was no writing in the text, just a picture of a girl smiling, showing her boobs. I was pretty shocked, and when she asked who had texted I said my mom. I quickly responded back to the lady telling her she must have the wrong number then deleted the text convo. I feel guilty for lying but I see nothing good coming from telling the GF. Lying is wrong, and I feel bad, but I know that telling her would have just played on her insecurities and caused her to worry, or even worse caused a fight. I asked a friend who said I should tell her, but that seems even dumber than telling her in the first place, because now it will look like I am covering something up making it an even bigger issue.
​
So, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
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|
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|
{
"description": "talking on cell while pumping gas",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA? For talking on cell while pumping gas
|
AITA? I was pumping gas and then I got a call so I answered the phone. A car pulls up next to me and a lady behind pumping her gas. She then says I shouldn’t talk on the phone while pumping gas because it can start a fire. I told her she’s more worried about policing others than actual fire because she pulled up next to me and started pumping her gas. And if she was so concerned why didn’t she decide to leave? She then tells me how rude “kids these day are” . I’m in my 30’s. She looked mid to upper 40’s. - only matters in case she thought she was scolding me like a child? I continue to pump and talk while talking as she’s still fuming. She never switched pumps
AITA? Is there a real danger I’m overlooking ?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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b94gx3
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{
"description": "telling my pregnant wife that there is pretty much not a single circumstance where I would choose saving the baby over saving her",
"pronormative_score": 475,
"contranormative_score": 51
}
|
AITA for telling my pregnant wife that there is pretty much not a single circumstance where I would choose saving the baby over saving her?
|
I made the terrible mistake of watching a medical drama with my pregnant wife. We’ve been binging House M.D. and of course there’s a pregnancy complication episode where a dad is asked to choose between the baby and the mother (the mother was going to die either way it was just a little quicker). My wife said that she’d want me to choose the baby if it came to that. I told her there was no fucking way I would do that, we could have another baby but I could never have another her. She got all mad and questioned my commitment to being a father and I said I’m committed to being a father but I’m more committed to being a husband. This argument went on forever. I told her that if she was brain dead or was going to die either way I would choose the baby but otherwise it’s her She said basically said what she wants over and over and I said I’m not spending another 50 or years without her. This is all because I love her more than anything else in the world. We’re still in disagreement over this completely hypothetical situation. Before anyone asks: yes it has occurred to me I can just lie because chances are this will never happen but it just feels wrong to lie about it.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 148,
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NOBODY
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{
"RIGHT": 475,
"WRONG": 51
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|
RIGHT
|
A56XPKhMGGlJt8s5d0JnxE32zx1BwDD3
|
a2rr79
|
{
"description": "failing my classes",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for failing my classes?
|
I hope it isn't too much of a problem if I use a throwaway. My family monitors my account, so I couldn't use that one. Here's the basic gist of my situation: I went to college this year and utterly burnt out. I stopped going to classes and didn't study for anything; just couldn't force myself to do it. I've since gotten over said burnout, didn't have a plan to get back on track within a semester or two. I failed 3 classes this year. I got good grades in two, but I feel like that was only because I had friends in those classes that made it actually bearable. My dad always tells me I have no reason to get less than an A in any of my classes because he gives me everything I could need. Except for support in my opinion. His definition of everything I would need is food and a roof, with access to the internet. I haven't told him yet about this because he overreacts to everything. He blows up immediately without wanting or trying to understand the situation at all. He makes out everything negative to be the end of the world. And he is never once admitted that he was proud of me or that I was a good kid or anything. And to give context as to why I don't want to tell him about this I will tell you all a story of me from high school. I had gotten a D in a class because I did not have a good study habits. It was a genuinely difficult class as well. I asked my dad if I could retake it over the summer and he made me feel like I was worthless and less than trash. Then he let me retake it and forced me to lie about it to my friends until they called me out on it. But then I have my own flaws. I basically went to college because it was what was expected of me. I never really had any direction or particular goal. As such I have had low motivation for the entire time I've been here. I never built up good study habits and this semester at came to a head. I want to change for myself. that's why I made a plan for next semester and every semester after that. I don't want anything to do with my family in the future. All they bring is negativity and pain with maybe the rare occurrence of a positive time. So r/AmItheAsshole, I submit to your collective judgement
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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acfwns
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{
"description": "wanting to bring BF on road trip with friends",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to bring BF on road trip with friends?
|
Myself (34F) and 3 other friends 2 male 1 female have been planning a roadtrip. 9 days-ish around the redwoods and lake Tahoe. We've only discussed it once and have not even nailed down dates or campgrounds. I told my BF (who I have been dating for 2+ years and I live with) about it and he was also interested in going. When I told my friends, via our group chat that he was interested the 2 guys immediately shit all over the idea. One messaged me privately that I was insensitive to want him to go. Am I an asshole for wanting him to go too?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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adojfs
| null |
AITA? Originally posted in response to "What was the most ungrateful way you've seen someone react after opening a Christmas gift?"
|
I was reminded of this situation from a post somewhere else and even though it happened a long time ago I'm curious if IWTA or not.
I had just started college and was saving up to buy the ***perfect*** laptop for school. Everyone in my family knew how excited I was to make my first major electronics purchase, as we usually got hand me downs from family or friends, and I would be able to pick out exactly the laptop I wanted when everything went on sale on Boxing Day. When my parents asked me what I wanted for Christmas that year, I asked for a particular (inexpensive) piece of jewellery (a necklace, cubic zirconia, like $50 MAX and I honestly would've been happy even if they had gotten me a totally different necklace even if it came from the dollar store) as a gift from the two of them to commemorate my finally attending post-secondary education (it took me a few years to go - it was a big deal for me). It was definitely not about the money at all, just the sentiment.
Well Christmas came around, and I opened my gift from my parents…. It was a laptop. Nowhere near as powerful as what I had planned to buy, insanely heavy so very impractical to take around campus, just overall the exact opposite of what I wanted. When I asked my parents why they would get me this instead of what I asked for, especially when they knew how excited I was to make this purchase myself (and for the necklace honestly), they were furious with me for being so ungrateful about such an expensive gift... To their mind, they went above and beyond and got me a really generous present, but to mine it felt like they were robbing me of an experience I was really excited about.
To be completely fair, I should mention that I did end up having to use that laptop for the years I was in school. I opted to leave it at home and take written notes in class, and having to transcribe the notes to my computer did ultimately help me learn the material better so I did pretty well in school, certainly much better than I expected. So there was absolutely a silver lining, but I was still pretty bummed out at the time. Over a decade later and I'm still not sure who was really in the wrong, so I'm wondering, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
muJHTF1Xk9S55FfvT7PAX9FbbMKTfLDr
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9v0tg7
|
{
"description": "not wanting to plan/heavily participate in a second baby shower",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting to plan/heavily participate in a second baby shower?
|
My friend had a baby ten years ago (at about age 25). We were super close back then and my mom and I spent a lot on the shower (probably $300-400 +), and her good friend did the whole baby pregnancy photo shoot for free. It was pretty huge. She got divorced about 5 months later, and she raised the child on her own. The child is a boy and is now 9.
She got remarried a year ago. She had 5 bridesmaids, including me. We haven't been in touch as much because I live 2 hours away, and it seems like we only get to hang out when I go visit my hometown (i.e. she never comes in specially to see me although I haven't had a chance to invite her). Anyway, we are still close friends but not as close now.
So what happened is: Her husband messaged about 7 of us on Facebook and asked us what date would work for the baby shower as her friend had a space she could use on certain days in February, and needed to reserve it. My pregnant friend knows that it will be happening and where, but the rest would be a surprise. He pushed a certain date where the space would be free, even though one friend said she had class until about 2 hours before and would have to rush there.
Once a couple had responded the date worked, he said "So I'll just leave the rest to you all just let me know if you need a hand with anything."
No one in the thread said anything about setting up and one friend will have to rush there so obviously wouldn't be planning or hosting it. I haven't heard anything about her mother hosting it either. So I think he meant that one or all of us should step forward and plan it.
To be honest, I was surprised she is having one at all, because she got so much at the last one (granted years ago, but I know she kept a lot of things). I feel weird about spending another $100-200 (which I will have to not to look rude in this circle) on items that we bought before. She has a house and good job now, so I am a bit put off by it all and I definitely don't want to plan it.
Am I the asshole for not being an enthusiastic planner/friend? She is announcing the sex at the shower apparently.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
nHPG1JH5MQISbEFKuNk5TZhjZkVo7z0X
|
9zjdsv
|
{
"description": "leaving my fiance",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for leaving my Fiance?
|
So 13 months ago I got with my now fiance. We jumped into a very serious relationship VERY quickly. We went on one date and then basically just moved in together immediately. ( I KNOW...I know..)
I was completely infatuated at first and thought I was in love. She had just quit her job and was unemployed and was suffering from some serious depression. She didn't get out of bed for days at a time. I really liked her and thought I could "save" her. He 13 year old son got tired of her not getting up and not being involved in life and called CPS. They took the kids temporarily and gave her a hearing. I tried telling her that she needed a lawyer and she didn't listen. Long story short, she lost full custody of her kids and now only sees them part time.
This made her depression even worse. In the 13 months we've been together she has had 4 jobs. All of which she would call off constantly and hasn't last in one for more than two months. She has been at her current job at Cincinnati Children's hospital for less than two months and has already called off twice.
She doesn't take care of herself. She doesn't clean up after herself. She constantly pretends she is sick to get out of EVERYTHING. She is basically useless. I'm sorry to use that term, but it's the truth. Hell, she only showers two times a week MAX. Her family completely turned their backs on her. None of them even speak to her. She has literally NO ONE other than me.
I made a lot of promises early on. I thought I was in love with her, and think I really was. At least with the person I thought she was. We don't talk, we don't go out, or laugh together. We just coexist in a house together. She literally won't give me a reason to stay. I've grown so far away from her that I am actually starting to despise her as a person. She is kind hearted, but I just can't take much more. She blames it all on me. Tells me that I make her feel worthless. But I have done nothing but try to help her.
If I leave her, I am afraid of what she will do. I am afraid she will slip even further. She won't be able to care for herself. The part of me that still loves parts of her is just so torn. I am all she really has. But I am growing to hate her.
WIBTA if I leave her completely alone in life?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
bIAbX6DbWkDug7x79ItgWwQdt7vVMKkK
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b6z3ac
|
{
"description": "expecting an ex-GF to text me back about plans we made to meet up 6 weeks ago",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for expecting an ex-GF to text me back about plans we made to meet up 6 weeks ago?
|
I started seeing this girl over the summer 2018, and had a brief but very intense time with her. She had to move to the West coast for grad school in the Fall, and it was decided we wouldn't try to do anything long distance. Since then, we've only seen each other once, when she was back in town for Thanksgiving break.
Six weeks ago she texted me and told me she would be back in town a few days at the end of March. I texted her back and said that was great, just please text me the days and I'll be sure to take them off work.
A couple weeks later she texted me telling me that she'll be here Wednesday through Friday. I say great, and let my work know about it.
We don't talk for several weeks, as her semester is ending and I am busy working. This Tuesday, though, I text her and say "Hey - looking forward to seeing you! Just checking - are you still heading here tomorrow?". She texted me back "Yeah I am! First day in I'll be all-family, and looks like me and my Ma have quite a bit planned, but I'll let you know when I get an idea when I'll be free".
So, I get that I won't see her on Wednesday. Disappointing, but not the end of the world. Then yesterday, on Thursday afternoon, she texts me:
"Hey, I'm sorry, my time is too short here. I'm not gonna be able to see you. I thought perhaps after dinner tonight but I just have too much going on"
I was really upset, because I've been looking forward to seeing her ever since we made plans. She says "maybe MAYBE" she'll be able to see me after dinner Thursday night, so I hold out hope that we'll see each other then.
She never ends up texting me back, so I'm left in this limbo-hell of not knowing what her decision is, what her intentions are, etc. This really fucks with me emotionally. I was literally shaking at one point. Here's the full exchange:
http://imgur.com/a/Kn1DOat
And so, I don't want to be a pest/pressure anyone to do anything they don't want to do, but we made plans six weeks ago, and then at the very last minute she canceled them, after I had already taken time off work and made myself available. Am I the asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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}
|
RIGHT
|
IIV9j0pQmouDZrLrfdkuRJrIJ1WfmrwZ
|
b4xxgt
|
{
"description": "not wanting my sister there on a shopping trip with my mom, my aunt, and I",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting my sister there on a shopping trip with my mom, my aunt, and I
|
To preface this, I’d like to say my sister and I were once incredibly close(and still are) but our relationship has suffered because of her actions in the past. I love my sister very much, and enjoy her company most of the time. In addition, I’d like to note that my sister is currently being treated for her mental illnesses(most of which I share with her, but deal with them differently) with medication and therapy, neither of which are working.
My sister suffers from a myriad of mental illnesses, and we suspect that she may have BPD. These things don’t make her inherently a bad person to be around, but they do dull her to the feelings of others(I think) when she’s being especially manic.
In my household, criticizing my sister is not allowed. Because whenever she is criticized, it almost always results in her screaming at us and crying. She also hurls insults, says she hates us, threatens us with death or says she wishes we would die. My mother tries to speak to her about small things that are an issue like: eating entire boxes of cereal in a day, cereal which is the only thing my autistic 4 year old sister will eat in the mornings. Even these small things will result in her screaming and throwing and breaking things. She has also lied to and stolen from several times. Whenever she is caught lying, she excuses herself with “it was just a white lie” even if it was something big and potentially harmful to her. My mother has been at her absolute breaking point for months and sobs almost days, as she as at a loss of how to help my sister.
My sister is aware that I suffer from extreme anxiety, especially in cars due to experiences in my childhood surrounding vehicles. Whenever someone texts and drives, I will shake and sometimes have a panic attack. At one point last year, I was angry and asked her not to text while driving. Her response to this, was fetching her phone and texting on it on the entire 10 minute ride home, which caused me to have a panic attack and nearly throw up.
These are just a few examples of the things she’s been doing to us over the past year. She has since regressed and her empathy for other people has gotten worse. I jump at the chance to be away from her, as her drama surrounds me day in and day out. So when my mother told me that she was planning on going shopping and bringing me with, we hoped that my sister wouldn’t be there and wouldn’t ask to come. We wanted time alone. And I secretly rejoiced when she had work that morning so she wouldn’t get to come.
I feel horrible for doing this and feeling this way, but I also just want time alone with my extremely stressed mother. I want time where I can forget what my sister has done to us.
I’m sorry for the awful grammar throughout this, but I’d like some advice.
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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|
b3m1k0
|
{
"description": "wanting to keep our finances separate now that we are both employed",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to keep our finances separate now that we are both employed?
|
I met my boyfriend while I was in college. We’ve been dating for almost three years now, living together for two. I was a full time student and not working. When we moved in together I gave him some of my loan money as well as any extra money when I had it to contribute to bills, but he was the one to regularly cover things. I tried to contribute in other ways. I kept the house clean, did the majority of the cooking, and would run all the household errands.
Now that I’ve graduated and am working I’d like to separate our finances. It’ll be an awkward conversation for sure. I would be contributing half of everything.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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NOBODY
|
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RIGHT
|
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|
ap1nr5
|
{
"description": "feeling uncomfortable in my boyfriends home and refuse to go",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for feeling uncomfortable in my boyfriends home and refuse to go
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Td;lr: boyfriends parents say bad things about me, the kids ( aged 7-9 ) and constantly fight with each other while I'm there. I'm no longer comfortable going over, AITA for refusing to go over or not?
We are both 19, I'm English and he and his family are polish, this is important as his parents are quite catholic.
We've been together for 4 years and when we first started going out it was fine, his mum was lovely to me even though we don't speak the same Language, she'd try and talk to me and the more I went the more I could understand what she was saying. The dad has always been shy and never really spoke to me unless he had to. I've cooked dinners for them and the family when they've been at work, I've looked after his little brothers when they go out and everything. I'd been to Poland twice to meet all of his family, learned basic polish to communicate with them.
About two years into our relationship I was there quite often, I'd spend more time with them and the more time I spent with them the more I'd dislike them a bit. Not enough to effect the relationship but just at how ignorant they were. The mum used to feed the two young siblings ( age 7-9 now) a load of crap with 4 meals a day and then would laugh at them being fat, bullying them and pulling on their clothes saying they're too tight, they then started making my boyfriend pay £250 a month rent while working at McDonald's 2 days a week while still in full time education, this wouldn't bother me if it was going to the family essentials or towards the younger siblings but the mum was just buying tattoos with what was essentially my boyfriends whole wage. They made him give up a managers course to do an extra year at college (an English high school equivalent) then when he turned up it turned out he hadn't applied early enough so they forced him to give up something he wanted to do for nothing.
Fast forward to present day and my boyfriend got into an argument about rent and out of no where his parents brought up out the blue saying that 'one day I will get pregnant and ruin his life' which is crazy as I have never had a pregnancy scare, I have always been on contraception and careful and I have no desire to ever have a child and 'that I'd grow up to be a baby killer' and 'that I handed myself to him like a whore'
I was so angry as all I had done was do everything I could to earn their respect and the dad had just said all that. I spoke to my parents upset about it the next day and the said my boyfriend shouldn't have told me what they said, well obviously I was very upset about it but I obviously can't do anything about it because they don't know I know so I'm not going to get an apology so I just continue going over. Well the last straw was tonight.
Tonight I go over and his parents are arguing with each other loudly in front of the kids throwing insults back and fourth and I heard the 9'year old brother say to the other one 'do you ever feel something but not understand it and not know who to talk to' and it honestly crushed my heart. I told my boyfriend and we took the kids to go get pick n mix but I said to my boyfriend I can't come over anymore, the house and the family is too toxic.
AITA for putting that pressure on my boyfriend or am I justified to feel uncomfortable in their home.
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HISTORICAL
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b51jtv
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{
"description": "refusing to report child abuse to the police",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for refusing to report child abuse to the police?
|
I know the title sounds bad, but please hear me out. There's nothing violent involved.
I live in a place without "Romeo & Juliet laws". It means that when someone turns 18, they cannot have sex with people under 18 until both are major.
I have two friends who are in this situation, and they told me while laughing that technically, what they did was illegal (they are one year and a few months apart), and I thought it was really funny. I didn't think much about it, thought it was funny and kept it to myself.
While talking to another friend (who, btw, is completely unrelated to them and has no idea who they are), I mentioned this situation because I thought it would make him laugh. It did not. He said that I was justifying statutory/child abuse, that the other kid could face psychological problems in the future just because I didn't want to go to the police, and told me that at least I should tell the school/... or tell the one who is 18 to go to the police himself. I told him I thought it was too much, that the law was ridiculous and that their relationship wasn't harmful. He basically told me very angrily "how can you know" and left. Now he's not talking to me.
AITA for "justifying statutory abuse"?
|
HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "wanting to tell my friend to move on",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to tell my friend to move on?
|
a friend of mine is having relationship issues, the past 2 guys they've liked have both rejected them, not for harsh reasons mind you, just because they simply didnt want a relationship at that moment. but despite this happening months ago, there still upset about it, and every other day there posting stuff like "love hurts" and "oh the flavor of rejection". and i wanna be there for them and comfort them, but they just cant seem to move on. and its honestly starting to annoy me. i wanna tell them to just forget about these guys already but i dont want to be rude. AITA for wanting to do this?
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "breaking up a relationship because one part isn't faithful",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA if I broke up a relationship because one part isn't faithful?
|
There's a couple I know who are dating and the guy is head over heels for her but she doesn't feel the same. She's cheated on him at least once (in the last 2 months) and flirts with her ex's on a regular basis, as well as reminiscing about the times she spent with her ex saying "look I was actually happy then". She constantly posts pictures of her and her ex on her private story.
I think it would be better for him long run but at the same time he seems to be very happy with her.
So WIBTA if I let him know what's been going on?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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{
"description": "wanting my own room/private space and to not be a free babysitter",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting my own room/private space and to not be a free babysitter?
|
I'm in school and due to financial reasons I'll be moving back in with my parents. My sister is also there and she has an 11 month old.
I've been talking with my mom for the last month about how to make this work and we've 90% settled out the details. My sister called me today and I've just found out that she has an entire different view on it. She has ground rules because of the baby, but I completely disagree with many of them which I'll talk about below. Some of them, I get and am supportive of.
​
This is what she's proposing:
​
\-> My medicine in a lock box in my room
\-> I must keep my room baby friendly (no choking hazards, etc)
\-> My cat needs to be locked in the basement at all times
\-> I have to keep my dishes in my room or in one single area (food allergies)
\-> I have a list of her pet peeves that I can't do (No left overs in the fridge, etc)
\-> I can't bring most of my furniture, only the small things bc there is 'no space'
​
Now, from this it's implied that her and baby will have free reign of my room. I want to keep my cat in my bedroom at first until it becomes accustomed to the people/house and then most likely let it stay in the basement with me when I'm down there because it's a much larger space. I 100% understand that she's not comfortable with a cat near her child, so I get not letting it roam the house, but why can't it be in my bedroom?
I mentioned putting a lock on my door to keep baby out and safe but she said that baby's always find a way into rooms and that my cat will be let out. I asked why people will be entering my room, and she said that she wants somewhere she can go to be alone when I'm not there. She's upset because she shares a room with the baby and doesn't have her own space. I told her that despite that I still need and want my own space.
She also said that she wants help with the baby and implied that I would be able to help watch him anytime she wanted some freedom. IMO, this isn't ok. I'm fine with babysitting and helping out but I have my own life and can't be watching a baby whenever she wants a break.
I also told her that I'll be bring my furniture will put the 2-3 non bedroom things in the basement. She said that there's no room and that I should throw it out. I'll be moving out in a year or so and can't afford to re-buy my furniture.
AITA for demanding that my sister and her baby stay out of my room when I'm not there? For deciding to put a lock on the door so that no one can go in there when I'm not home? For not wanting to be her free personal baby sitter? And for wanting to bring and store some furniture in the basement?
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HISTORICAL
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axb46b
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{
"description": "getting annoyed when my bf drinks my coke",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting annoyed when my bf drinks my coke?
|
We live together.
I drink less soda than my bf and whenever I get a bottle he gets one too (I drink coke zero, he some other brand but it doesn't matter.) I'm speaking of those bigger bottles, like 1,5 liters. He drinks his soda fast and then goes for my bottle without asking. If I'm home it's not that big of a problem: I can tell him not to drink it or if I'm fine it, just let him. But whenever I come home and I find my bottle empty, that's what bugs me.
I'll give you today as an example of what I mean.
Yesterday we had bought a bottle of his soda and a bottle of coke for me, and he had emptied his last night. I had like 1/3 of coke left, and still did when I checked the fridge this morning before leaving to work.
Knowing him, in the afternoon, I sent him a message asking if he had drank my coke. He said yes, ans I asked him if he had replaced it. He told me no, so I asked him to go to the store. He told me "babe just buy some on your way home, it doesn't make sense if I buy it now and then wait for you to get home."
It is true that I can buy the coke on my way home. BUT if I hadn't send him the msg, I would've come home (again) to find the fridge empty, since he wasn't gonna tell me forehand - do you see what I mean? Now, I did buy a bottle of coke but from a high priced corner store, cause the grocery store next to our house was already closed.
He is a student, he has school like 3 hours/day, and so he spends most of his day home (today was no exception.) Myself, I started recently a new job and am working 10h/day (plus 2×1h in commune -> 12 hours in total.) The grocery store is 200m away from our flat. He had 3 hours to go there before it was closing but didn't cus he felt lazy.
I acknowledge that this isn't a HUGE problem but I still find him to be inconsiderate and selfish whenever he does this. What's your verdict, Redditors?
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "hiding my laptop and PS4 when my family visits for holidays",
"pronormative_score": 79,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for hiding my laptop and PS4 when my family visits for holidays?
|
So for general context I am 22, and the cousins are 7, 9, and 11. I live at home with my parents, and I pay rent. My room upstairs is mine to do with as I please per agreement with my parents and it has a lock on it that only I have the key to.
So for the last several years my family hosts Thanksgiving and Christmas because we are pretty close to the halfway point for a lot of our relatives that live in different states so it makes sense for everyone to go here. We have plenty of space and my mom loves hosting so it works out great. The only issue I have is with 3 of my younger cousins who all see me as the "cool" older cousin.
Now don't get me wrong. I love these kids. I love hanging out with them and playing games. I even put my Switch in the shared living room so they could play Mario Kart and stuff with or without me. The issue is that they also want to play with all the electronics in my room. This includes my laptop which is used almost exclusively for work, and my PS4 which is not something I let other people play with.
With past consoles I've kept in my room I used to just let them play to shut them up, but after a few hours I'd come back to saves erased, sticky controllers (Most from the younger 2. Oldest is actually relatively well behaved.) and one time a broken TV because one of the kids tried to pull the console out of the TV stand and ended up bringing down the whole stand and TV with it. Their parents paid for the TV to be replaced and nothing else was damaged so I am not mad about it, but I decided from then on I didn't want them in my room playing with my stuff.
I brought this up with my parents, and they agree I have every right to lock up my room and keep the kids out, but they think it will cause drama with the kids and the parents making the kids feel unwanted and hurt their feelings. I can see that point of view, and I definitely don't want to hurt their feelings. The issue is after bringing up their destructive behavior my parents think its just "kids being kids" and that I need to accept that things are going to break. They cite examples of things around the house that I broke when I was younger that they just accepted as well as things my cousins have damaged that they aren't mad about. And even argue that my aunt and uncle are happy to pay for replacements if anything gets broken so why be mad about it? This makes me feel a bit guilty honestly.
Now my plan for avoiding the conflict is to wait until the day before they get here and take my PS4, Laptop, and anything else they would want to play with and hiding them in my trunk until they leave. I could say that my laptop is in the shop for repairs, and my friend is borrowing my PS4. That way I can leave my room open so we can hang out up there, but there isn't anything for them to play with so they will go back downstairs and maybe play the Switch.
So I guess what I am trying to figure out is is it shitty of me to hide things from these kids that they enjoy just so I can avoid potentially getting them dirty or damaged? Should I hope that they are better behaved this time, or should I maybe instead just have a talk with their parents and set ground rules instead of this trick I'd be playing on all of them? Is that the less assholish way to approach all this?
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HYPOTHETICAL
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{
"description": "stopping contacting a ''friend'' for 2+ months to see if there even is a friendship",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA, if I stopped contacting a ''friend'' for 2+ months to see if there even is a friendship.
|
Probably a shitty title.
​
Long story short had this friend who I considered myself close with but for quite some time now our talks are at least in my opinion stale and lifeless and lacking any meaning to them and my ''friend'' has changed a lot too doing a lot of things I don't really can tolerate(Like getting angry at things that never bothered her before) and if she would have been doing these things before I would never have become friends with her. Honestly it also feels like I am putting in 80% of the effort and getting back 20% as I lead all the convos etc start them. Honestly it's a huge pain in the ass and I just flat out just wanna tell the person that this isn't working, but I don't have the heart to go through with the process.
​
So WIBTA be the asshole if I stopped keeping contact completely and if her or someone else were to ask I would just tell them that this isn't just working for me. You know taking the ''easy'' way out?
​
​
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HYPOTHETICAL
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b5rhlq
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{
"description": "actually caring",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for actually caring?
|
I will restrain from giving any character descriptions on both sides, but basically, the story is this - i have this neighbor/friend, with whom I'm on rather good terms, we do sports together, go out for a drink the usual...
A little backstory:
He is a single father, raising a teenager with ADHD and a ton of other difficulties, and i constantly give him praise on the job and effort he puts into raising him, try to cheer him up and encourage him in every reasonable scenario he shares with me. They have a lovely maltese, of which we have taken care on multiple ocasions, over extended periods of time. The boy is to say the least, very hard to handle, follows nothing he is not interested in, has a very poor hygiene habit.
Now yesterday - my wife went on a walk with our baby and saw the neighbors' dog escaping through the garage door of our building. (how is that possible ? Well they left their apartment and left their apartment door open, so the dog escaped) Of course, she went after it, its a lovely little puppy, who luckily knows her well enough to come back to her. I called our neighbor straight away, told him that we found the dog outside and sent him a picture of it playing with my son, to see that its all ok. So far so good - now here is possibly where it all went south - i knew that he will spend the day out of town and his son usually comes home around dinner - i offered to walk his dog, to which he actually agreed, as i assured its not a big deal and won't burden me at all.
( The real reason being, that his son even if he would come home earlier is an evil little shit, whom i have caught beating and torturing the poor pup - without consequences, goes to lengths to avoid taking care of it and honestly couldn't care less if it stays in its own filth locked away in the washing room )
Then in the afternoon, i get this call - where he basically starts lecturing me with a very harsh tone, that all this "Willingness to help" is too much, how im "Overcaring" and goes into a rant about me making him feel a bad parent, because i asked the boy in front of his dad a couple of times whether he has other clothes better suited for the weather outside. Which he probably does, because they are very well off financially and the boy seems to get his every need satisfied, so it was more of a reminder to change, rather doubt the lack thereof. (Tbh..people that don't know them, would believe its the case, because he has such poor hygiene, that he would wear the same clothes, shoes and socks (yes his feet stink of rotten hell through the shoes) for days, in case of shoes for weeks without washing).
Anyway, i listened to him ranting on the phone for 10 minutes, apologized for multiple times (which i regret) if i made him feel like this, as it was really never my intent, since i genuinely do care about him. Turns out i am TA for doing this.
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b29lr8
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{
"description": "hosting my wedding social on my ex's birthday",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for hosting my wedding social on my ex's birthday?
|
Just some context! In my city, there's a tradition of throwing wedding socials to raise money for the bride and groom. It's basically a large fundraising party where everyone gets together and buys drink/raffle tickets to support wedding costs.
​
I'm getting married in 6 months to an amazing man -- we've been together for almost 3 years now. We're all a part of the same friend group, we all knew each other through school growing up, and I also knew my ex-boyfriend (of 6 years) from that friend group. It's been a few years (I dated my fiance shortly after we broke up), but I know he's not over me; I'll get texts still whenever he's out drinking, and he's expressed that it's hard for him to see me moving on with my fiance even years later. It's caused a few rifts in our friend group and at times I've even asked my friends to not include him because of his behaviour.
​
It's a really tight knit group, so obviously everyone (except my ex) is in the wedding party. This basically includes all of the friends that we both grew up with, and definitely all of his friends. My ex hasn't been doing well lately, and everyone's been saying he's going through a rough time. I wanted to have my social on St. Patrick's Day, but everything was booked up, so I had it two weeks before which HAPPENED to be on my ex's birthday. My ex was invited (everyone in the friend group was), showed up, and seemed to enjoy himself.
​
The other day, one of my bridesmaids said they felt bad that he had to choose between going to my wedding social or essentially doing nothing for his birthday, since all of his friends had to be at my social and wouldn't have been able to do anything with him. Honestly, that didn't even cross my mind. Like, I think it's been way too long for him to still be hung up on me, and while I could have had the social another day, it's my wedding and it's not like I need to cater to his feelings just because he can't move on. Apparently he had a really hard time at my social, but I wasn't really checking in on him so I don't know for sure what that was about.
​
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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b5zq0m
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{
"description": "telling my dad (who I've always been close with and who is recently divorced from my mom) that he's not invited on what I thought was a siblings-only visit",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling my dad (who I've always been close with and who is recently divorced from my mom) that he's not invited on what I thought was a siblings-only visit? (I live out of state)
|
So about two months ago I booked a trip to Puerto Rico with some coworkers for this April. A couple of weeks later, my littlest brother (14, the youngest of 5) texted me to ask if I was doing anything the week of the trip.
Turns out it's his spring break, and he wants to come visit me out where I live (a two hour flight from where we grew up).
First of all, I was freaking honored - how many 14 year old boys want to come chill with their 23 year old sisters? Second, he rarely reaches out to me out about anything other than memes, so I paid attention.
Third and most importantly, I took this seriously because my parents are recently divorced. We got the news 3 months ago, mom moved out 2 weeks ago. I would feel like an asshole if I didn't prioritize seeing him, especially at such an impressionable age, in such a tumultuous time, and always having been close with him out of all 4 of my younger brothers.
So I told him I would cancel my trip, and he can come visit any dates he wants. I told my coworkers about it, but kept my trip booked just in case plans fell thru. I waited about a month; he told me he'd work it out with dad when he's back at the house.
Finally, today I heard back with: "Is it okay if we visit from Apr X-X?" I replied, "yes, but who is 'we'?" And got the answer of him, my second youngest brother, and my dad.
The problem is not that the personnel changed. I love all my family members and I'd be happy to see them all under normal circumstances.
The problem is that my dad, VIA MY BROTHER, invited himself on the trip without ever directly talking to me.
And the real problem with that is, I don't want to see my dad right now. I have not talked to him since he called me to tell me he filed for divorce. He has reached out with things like "oh look, I'm at our special restaurant!" or "omg I saw the Game of Thrones trailer. April 14!" I haven't responded for a lot of reasons, but here's a high level summary.
I've been the middle man and confidant for my parents' problems with each other for 5 years. They ended up divorcing for what I considered the wrong reasons, and also the circumstances were a complete 180 from what I had expected. I've been distancing myself from both parents because I want them to come to terms with things on their own and not use me as a crutch.
I'm also just generally frustrated with my dad. He's a wonderful dad, but not the most emotionally intelligent or socially aware human. I'm frustrated by the way he treated my mom before the divorce, the way he responded when I confronted him about it, and the way he delivered the news (my mom didn't know he called me until later on that day).
I haven't even seen my mom yet. I want control of my engagement with my parents; I don't need a pop quiz visit from my dad.
I love my family. But I don't want to see my dad right now. So I messaged him and told him I would prefer if just my two youngest brothers came to visit.
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
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a7kkh2
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{
"description": "wanting an undisturbed break",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for wanting an undisturbed break?
|
When I go on my break I let people know I'm on break and then I turn my radio off.
Our work place is divided on this and as far as I know there is no black and white rule.
Some say you need to be contactable at all times and others say your break time is your own time.
I feel that when I'm having an unpaid break I'm not working.
I don't want to hear workers talking to each other or anything else happening at work.
I'm not working for thirty minutes and once I'm back at work I'll turn my radio back on and continue working.
AITA for wanting my break time to be nothing but my break time?
|
HISTORICAL
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sgiR6hrPzXnM5yKTO55PCzNIIlh4RZIW
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agw5te
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{
"description": "wasting my dad's time",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wasting my dad's time?
|
First time poster in this sub on mobile, sorry for any mistakes. For some background, I'm a college aged student who lives at home while I pay for school. I do chores around the house and chip in for groceries, gas, etc. I still haven't learned to drive (useless and unreasonably anxious in that regard) and have no car, so sometimes my parents are nice enough to take me to work at my retail job, which I really appreciate.
So tonight, I was closing the store and was scheduled till midnight. My mom let me know that I should take an uber because everyone would be asleep, but my dad said no problem, he'd most likely still be awake and will come get me. Now, I always wait to call when I'm done because we're notorious for never getting out on time and my dad HATES sitting there waiting in the car.
I make the call to my house twice because the first time there's no answer. My mom picks up the second time and tells me my dad must've fallen asleep downstairs (as he often does) and to go ahead and call the uber, so I do. Halfway home, my dad calls asking where I am! Apparently he had been waiting in the parking lot and I didn't see him. I didn't think to look for him or to call his cell because he almost never has it on him and I was told he was asleep.
I think it was just a big misunderstanding made by 3 sleepy people, but he's REALLY mad at me and I do feel terrible and tried to apologize but he wouldn't hear it. He wakes up early for work and it was raining so the roads weren't really safe, on top of the fact that he did tell me he was coming to get me when I first left for work so I do understand his anger and frustration. The wasted gas isn't an issue, I'll transfer some money over, but he could've been cozy in bed and wasted his time coming to get me. My mom also got chewed out while she was trying to sleep because I told him that she told me he had fallen asleep, so I feel double terrible. AITA?
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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geDR3WjD0RDcy9uM3WLGcNJdf6LRy53e
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ascxim
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{
"description": "getting mad and taking it serious that two of my friends posted my phone number somewhere",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting mad and taking it serious that two of my friends posted my phone number somewhere?
|
Just what the title says.
One day i go to school and they are like "Has anyone called you?" and kept insisting.Days before they were checking escorts online for fun and they came up with the idea to put someone's number in there.
I've been called like 4-5 times by random numbers in the last month,but never got the chance to pick it up(Just because it happened ex showering,being on silent etc).
I know it is a joke but I think this has gone too far.
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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a2ne68
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{
"description": "not answering my mother's phone calls",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA Not answering my mother’s phone calls
|
My mother has a lot of mental health issues and lost custody of me at around a year old because of neglect/abuse to my grandparents. She would, according to my grandfather, lock me in a basement room with no windows all night and leave in the morning not coming back until seven or later at night, drink my baby formula because “I paid for it so it’s mine!” (gross ik)..I still had part of my amniotic sac on my forehead at three months old and torticollis.
My grandma passed away in ‘04 and my grandfather passed away this January; I had seen my mother a total of two times in around thirteen years. As far as I’m concerned that was the last of my parents. My mother feels like a great great great aunt that you don’t really remember ever meeting but your closer family talks about sometimes. I barely know who she is.
Well, my aunt bought her a phone and put her on their service plan and she’s been calling me like eight times in a row every other day. Ideally I would talk to her like maybe once every four or five months, and I just..don’t have the patience or time to walk outside in the middle of my shift and talk to my mother for forty minutes about what she had for breakfast. Sooo I barely answer and only if I’m at home and declined her first four calls.
Am I the asshole for not wanting to talk to her or have much to do with her? She’s never been around, I don’t know who she is, I feel mega uncomfortable talking to her. But I feel guilty because I’m her daughter and I DO care about her but it just takes up so much emotional energy that I don’t have in the first place.
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b4wnlw
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{
"description": "cutting funding",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for Cutting Funding?
|
This one will be long, but I need outside perspective. I’m afraid all my friends and family pander to me.
My husband is significantly older than me. He was married to his ex for nearly 30 years. He was incredibly gracious in the divorce (he felt he owed it to her after 30 years) and bought her a new vehicle, left her the house (still paying for), gave her a job within his company AND paid EVERY SINGLE DEBT IN BOTH of their names. All she had to do was: sign her name. Keep in mind their children are in their 30’s. She was re-married within 2 weeks of the divorce being finalized. She (was) an able bodied adult, and had a makeup tattoo business/tanning salon at the time of the divorce. She was too lazy to keep regular hours and it went under within 6 months of the divorce.
For the first 6 months, things were smooth. She was in charge of keeping books for the company. Then, strangely, employees aren’t being paid, bills are behind. Answers are not forthcoming. I cajole him into letting me audit the books. Yep! You guessed it. She is robbing the company blind. Hand over first. The employees not being paid? **HER OWN SONS! THIS WOMAN IS LITERALLY STEALING MONEY FROM HER CHILDREN**
Husband asks me to take over. I get things under control rather quickly, people are being paid within 2 weeks, debt into control within 2 months or so, bringing credit score back out of the gutter. She proceeds to visit many doctors and put the bills in my husbands name as the guarantor. I catch all but one, which ends up in a suit/garnishment. The way the dentist went about it was utterly illegal but by the time I located it there was nothing I could do. Long story for another day.
I should also add that she filed 4 fake insurance claims, which ended in the super special insurance dropping the house so the special hazard insurance that it has to have went from $200/year to $500/month through the mortgage agency? But the Farm Bureau is the ONLY place here that does that insurance. Wanna guess who is responsible for insurance payments? NOT US! Wanna guess how much she’s paid??? $0. Which, at this point, have accrued more than is left on the mortgage. The way I see it?!?! Two options! We finish paying the mortgage and put a lien against the house for double what she owes us, interest etc. Or... she gets off her fat fucking ass and figures out how to adult!!!
Her new husband has 7 DUI’s in Idaho. She’s a fat slob that is literally too lazy to go get on welfare. She has no job. He has no job. Do you see where this is going? For 11 years. I could offer more examples- but- really? Isn’t this long enough?
To;dr husbands ex wife constantly thieves from us, trashes our credit. She owes us more money than the mortgage has left. AITA if I let it go into foreclosure? AITA if I put a lien for double the amount she owes for 11 years of absolute hell?
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ax2dn1
| null |
AITA for beig upset about this?
|
So this happened a while ago. I still think about it sometimes though. I was having issues living with my mother after high school so we got into a huge fight (for financial reasons) and I ended up leaving. I posted online since I really couldn't afford to live on my own that I could pay 500 - 600$ for a room. I started living with a really nice lady and her family. She was really nice. We actually became very good friends. We talked about our pasts and went out to eat together sometimes. One day after a while of being there she came and told me about how her husband wanted his son to come live with them (which I understood) which would mean me also having to leave. During that time my mother got sick so I left to go take care of her instead of staying at her home. She messaged me asking me if I would pay for the rent that month and since we had barely started the month and I wasn't going to live there anymore I said no and that I'd come get all my stuff tomorrow. Well the next day I got really upset because she took it into her own hands to take all my things out of the room without asking me. She had everything already in her husband's car so he can take it to me later after work. I got very upset. She said she just wanted to help since I didn't have a car and what not. And it's true but I would've had a friend help me take my things. I cried TBH. She said that it's ok that I shouldn't be angry or upset because there's nothing in my stuff that she hasn't seen before but I still feel that she shouldn't have taken (touched) all my stuff out without my permission. It still bothers me today and I'm just curious if I was wrong to feel that way? We aren't friends anymore. Aita for overreacting?
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RIGHT
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b3v0qv
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{
"description": "not recycling at work",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA for not recycling at work?
|
LTL, FTP.
I work at a fast paced, very stressful company. Right now is our busy season and I have been slammed for weeks. I go through a ton of paper and post it notes per day. At my cubicle is a trash can (but no recycling). If I’d like to recycle something I have to stop working and walk some distance to the recycling bin.
Normally, I would recycle but I’ve been so busy that I don’t have the time to interrupt my work to recycle. So for the past few weeks or so I’ve thrown all my garbage (including paper) into the garbage can under my desk.
It has happened 2 or 3 times now that the janitor (that comes at night once I’m gone) has picked all the paper out of my trash can (even little bits that I’ve torn up) and left them laying all over my desk.
AITA for not recycling?
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HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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azwtif
| null |
AITA Uncle threw my stuff outside and told me I wasn't welcome there anymore
|
I am a 22 years old, currently on my first year of college. This event took place last summer.
I lived in a rural area and about a year ago got accepted to college which is quite far, like five hours of driving. Well, my mother asked if it was okay for my uncle if I stayed with him and his wife for a week until my dorm room would free up. It was okay for them and I drived to their place on Sunday. The first week of school was more like getting to know the school area and our future school mates. There wasn't any actual studying in that time period.
I had to take a train in the morning to get to the school and my uncle would drive me to the station. He is currently unemployed and his wife is a teacher. First four days went fine and we had good time catching up because I haven't really seen him in a while. But at Thursday evening there was this party and alcohol was of course involved. I told my uncle I might come back to his place or bunk in some schoolmates room depending how the party went.
We had a blast at the party and I was enjoying myself quite a bit. At one o'clock, my uncle called but I hang up because it was very loud and I send him a message that I would stay the night elsewhere. I didn't get any reply from him.
In the morning, a bit hungover, I made my way to the station and called my uncle to pick me up. He didn't answer, so I messaged him. After a few minutes he came and I sat on the passenger seat and tryed to tell how the party went but he kept silent and wouldn't answer me. I thought that was odd and became very worried that something bad had happened. Well, when we got to my uncle's place, he stormed inside and threw my stuff out. I was confused and asked him what was wrong. I apparently didn't tell him I wasn't going to come back and it was disrespectful of me. I told him he could have called me earlier if he was worried but he claimed it was my responsibility to inform him. I tried to tell him that I told him last evening of my plans to maybe stay there but he didn't recall that. I got into my car and he shouted that if I'm gonna leave, I wasn't welcome back and that was fine by me.
I haven't talked to him since and I feel a bit assholish for that and I think it's starting to affect other relationships in the family. My grandpa tells me he is sorry and has invited me to visit but hasn't himself called me once. I think he is in the wrong here and should apologize if he wants to clear things up. Or am I the asshole here for not informing him better?
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RIGHT
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OM6AwBHuAQcJfAE06NsGFmgIFKDYkypZ
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alzkzx
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{
"description": "keeping pictures of my naked wife on my phone",
"pronormative_score": 35,
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}
|
AITA keeping pictures of my naked wife on my phone?
|
I like naked women, and I like my wife, so obviously I like my naked wife. She sends me nudes or I take pictures of her nude so that when im out of town for work and we're sexting I have something to look at.
Been doing this since we were dating, been together for three years, married for two.
Anyway, at a birthday party with a lot of nieces and nephews. Im changing into swimming gear to get in my sister in laws pool, so i leave my phone on the patio.
I have a nice phone, and my sister in law asks if my eight year old nephew could play on it. I wanted to say no but i would come off as a dick. I also keep my nude photos hidden under like two albums in my gallery.
Welp, maybe half an hour later my mother in law yells "Oh my god!" and takes my phone away from my nephew. He responds "It just popped up!".
Which is impossible. But everybody gets quiet and I exit the pool. My sister in law and mother in law take me and my wife aside and ask why we have "homemade porn" on our phones and that my nephew shouldnt see that stuff.
Wife is embarrassed, im embarrassed but i did say the pictures didnt just "pop up" at which point she says her kid wouldnt lie. We apologize but leave the party early.
My wife is mad at me because I didnt hide the nudes well enough and calling my nephew a liar. Even though i hid it and he must have been going through my photos.
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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nTbwnfAtlxn3vCZkYSYHfoOV0c2ZwZGQ
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aitft5
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{
"description": "saying something to my manager",
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}
|
WIBTA If I say something to my manager?
|
(throw away acct and changed names for obvious reasons)
I started at this new job back in November so I haven't been there very long. Tonight three of my fellow coworkers were shooting the breeze with me while we were slow. Just general random conversation.
One coworker, "Megan," says if she had ever had a son she would have named him Aiden James. My other coworker "Julie" responds with "You should be careful about that because the only Aiden James I know is as gay as a two dollar bill. I mean like, really gay." And Megan says "Yeah I've always said that with my luck if I ever had a boy he would have been gay."
And there I stand in silence because of course I have a teenage son named Aiden who just happens to be gay.
The conversation continues but I don't really hear the rest of it because I decide I don't want to listen to anymore and go to another part of the warehouse. I don't say anything to anyone and leave about 20 minutes later cuz my shift is done.
I have spent a considerable amount of time around these people and know that they are normally very nice, friendly and otherwise decent people. But this is not the first time I've had to silently endure remarks like this. Several coworkers have made comments about what they describe as "fruity guys, poofs, fags, being sweet" as well as comments about customers who "were so sweet they left a trail of sugar behind them." I've also endured a few jokes about gays and lesbians. Everyone seems to think that if they start a statement by saying "I don't have a problem with gays, to each their own." or "I have plenty of gay friends but..." that it means what they are saying is not hateful or mean or whatever. But it is really hurtful to me. I don't like it.
Now I've never wanted to be "that person" who rains on everyone's parade by being offended by crap but I just don't see this type of behavior stopping if I don't say anything. And I don't want everyone knowing my or my family's business by explaining to them why I find it offensive. I don't understand why it has to be discussed at all. I don't start random conversations by describing someone as straight and I don't see why someone's sexuality should have anything to do with general conversation in the first place.
So my question to all of you is, would I be the asshole if I privately say something to my manager about this?
​
\* sidenote \* I've also heard Megan (a white woman) use the n-word several times in a "joking" way. (ie: Hey Megan can you do this? She replies with "I ain't gonna do your work n-word") We only have one black employee who is extremely part time and obviously she does not do this around them. I don't like it but living in the south it is something I've heard frequently and usually I'm ok with telling people I don't like that word, don't use it around me. But I've never had to deal with someone saying it in a professional setting before. My manager is aware she does this as she has also referred to him as an n-word before in front of me.
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HYPOTHETICAL
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RIGHT
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dU3gPeJmlAd7m5tOoO2L9Ls6qwtZhBwN
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a59q7h
|
{
"description": "not wanting to spend Christmas with my grandparents",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to spend Christmas with my grandparents?
|
For a bit of context, I go to school which is dar from where my parents live, so I stay at grandparent's house monday to friday and only go home for weekends. And even though I love my grandparents, living with them is sometimes mentally exhausting and I was really looking forward to spending some time with my parents - just the three of us. Around two weeks ago, my mum called her parents (the grandparents I live with) and asked if they'd like us to be with them on Christmas Eve (which is the most important day of Christmas here). She didn't bother to ask about my opinion or even tell me first. And she knows damn well how much I love being at home. We also argue a lot when the whole family is together and I think it's gonna be even worse when Christmas is involved, because mum and I love having everything traditional on Christmas while grandparents like to keep everything as simple and cheap as possible.
Another thing that bothers me about this is my father's mother, with whom we spend very little time recently and I was hoping she could spend Christmas with us this year, especially cause last year she spent it with my uncle's family, and we've always taken turns.
Parents tell me that I'm being selfish, and I'm seriously starting to feel like I am.
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HISTORICAL
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fFkUxUWmPvhWH8wpp4MWJnoHdjaOHNlp
|
achoyx
| null |
AITA for very rarely/almost never wanting to go to restaurants because my girlfriend makes food that's just as good, if not better, than restaurant food?
|
I've been with my wonderful girlfriend for a few years now, and we usually get along great, aside from this current issue. You can skip to the TL;DR if the exposition is too long.
She's a self-proclaimed "foodie", which I honestly think is just selling herself short - she's a food genius. She can taste and smell a dish and then turn around and recreate it, or even make it better than the original.
If you taste something and wonder, 'what's that super subtle flavor?' she'll tell you, 'it's anchovy paste/sumac/lavender/some other obscure spice that you would never think of.' When someone is cooking something and they go, 'it's missing something,' she can tell you *exactly* what it needs.
(It doesn't stop there, she knew I had *touched* a diesel truck at work one morning as soon as I walked into the house *that night* because she could somehow smell it on me. It's either really cool or really creepy, depending on the day.)
That's not it, either. She *heard about a lost family recipe* and the next week, BAM, I'm eating my grandmother's homemade sausage again for the first time in fifteen years.
It's gotten to the point where I don't see any point in going out to eat, pretty much ever, except maybe her birthday. Even the most exotic ingredients aren't out of her reach, either, and, even though it's not about cost, I've saved up more being with her than I ever had in any other relationship. The only places we really go for date night is ramen - she can't figure out how to make the noodles, but she still tries so it's just a matter of time - and sushi.
Our anniversary was recently, and I had noticed that our local fish counter was selling sushi grade fish, along with the rolling mats and nori, so I suggested that we have homemade sushi for our anniversary dinner before going out and she upset and said, "I'm not learning how to make sushi because then I'll *never* get a real date ever again." We ended up going out instead.
It kinda took me by surprise that she got so mad, though. She's *lightly* mentioned wanting to go out occasionally to places like Olive Garden "because she likes the red sauce" or other places because she likes the food, and now that I'm thinking about it, she's gotten kinda gloomy because I've asked her to cook on date nights instead of going out more often.
She also brought up that food she cooks tastes better to me because she's tasting and smelling it while it cooks so her senses are dulled by the time it's served, but she has the most acute sense of smell/taste I've ever seen so I kinda think it's just an excuse.
I just don't think it's worth it to go out and pay restaurant food prices when we can stay home for home food prices and have food that's just as excellent.
TL;DR: So, Reddit, am I the asshole for not wanting to pay a restaurant to cook my meals because I practically have a private chef of my very own?
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HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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|
al3u1g
|
{
"description": "asking my husband to do some of my chores",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for asking my husband to do some of my chores?
|
My husband, then-boyfriend, and I started living together in college. Back then, our chore division was that he would take care of trash and dishes and I would do everything else.
​
When we graduated from college, he got a full-time job working 40 hours per week with a 30 minute commute and I went to grad school. During this time, he was in charge of trash and dishes; I was in charge of cooking, grocery shopping, laundry, and feeding/walking our dog; and we would clean the house together during the weekend.
​
After two years, he quit his job and started grad school and I was finishing up my last year of grad school and working part-time (25-30 hours per week). We kept the same chore division.
​
Now, I am working full-time and he is still in grad school. I spend 45-50 hours per week in the office and I have a 1-1.5 hour commute. On top of this, I work 10-15 hours from home. He has class for 4 hours, 3 days a week and he works 6-10 hours per week.
​
When I started my job, we talked about re-dividing chores but my husband insisted that he would be really busy this semester and could not take on any more chores, other than doing part of the laundry (now, he washes his clothes and I wash my clothes). To be fair to him, it does seem like he's working on school stuff whenever I am home. However, I strongly suspect that, during 4-5 hours that I'm at work and he's home, he's not working on school stuff and either watching TV or playing video games and then he works on his school stuff when I'm home to appear busier.
​
Anyway, I've had a few days over the past month that I've had to stay in the office late and I asked my husband if he could walk/feed the dog and pick up some takeout for us before I got home. He always said yes, so I thought this was ok. Last night, however, my husband told me that we needed to talk about our chores. He said that it's unfair that I've been asking him to do some of my chores. I pointed out that I only ask when I have to be at the office late and it's something that cannot reasonably wait to be done until I come home. He said that I need to do a better job of managing my time so that my household responsibilities don't fall by the wayside.
​
I'm kind of frustrated because I feel like he has a lot more free time than I do and that our chore division isn't fair, but I also kind of feel like I'm not pulling my own weight as a wife and member of our household. I do see his point that it's unfair of me to ask him to do stuff that is technically my responsibility. I guess it's hard for me to tell if my frustration is justified or if I'm being unfair to him. AITA?
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HISTORICAL
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a99dpn
|
{
"description": "going on vacation instead of to visit my boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I went on vacation instead of to visit my boyfriend?
|
My boyfriend and I are both very lucky that we are able to work online and live a digital nomad lifestyle. Presently, I am in my home country visiting my family for the holidays and he is remaining in Asia in the last place we traveled together. At the end of January, he will visit his family in his home country for one month. I have offered to fly back to meet him at the beginning of January so that we can spend some time together before his trip home, but he is being very noncommittal about this. He is also being very noncommittal about when and where we can meet again in March after his visit home.
In ordinary circumstances, I would say that he is unquestionably the asshole, but recently his mental health has been very unstable and his depression has hit a low. He says that his inability to commit to a meeting is because of this bout of depression, and I can tell that when I bring up this issue with him that he becomes very stressed out and it puts him in a bad place. He says that right now he needs to be able to exist in the present moment before he can think about the future. I don't want to add any more stress to his life, but I'm also very frustrated about not being able to make any plans. I have been in a previous relationship where my now-ex was very resistant to making plans, and it ended when he stood me up after I flew to a different continent to meet him, so I am sure this is influencing my judgment as well.
​
Because of my boyfriend's work, it will be best for him to spend the spring in Eastern Europe. This is not my first choice, but I am happy to be there if it means that I get to be with him. But, given that he is not giving me any information about when we can meet again due to his depression, would I be the asshole if I booked a ticket to South America, where I would prefer to spend the winter/spring?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
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"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
JR28d9ETk5fmFpgo5GtIWTF3RW8WBDdg
|
alkr0e
|
{
"description": "trying to sever contact with my mom",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for trying to sever contact with my mom??
|
Okay, so I messed up the formatting since it was my first post. This is a repost of the deleted one.
I truly am broken up over this, and I’d like a third-party opinion. (TLDR is at the bottom)
Before, During, and a little while after the time of my birth, my mom was a drug addict. From 0-2 yrs old, I suffered from neglect. (She would leave for hours at a time, and whenever I cried I would be given candy to shut up(I had to get QUITE a few fillings))
When I was 2 my mom went missing (turns out she was partying and then crashed @ a friend’s place) and my aunt found me at home, alone. Due to my father not being in a financially stable enough situation, I ended up living with my G-ma. After a couple months, my mom was forced to give up her rights as a parent.
After this, she has done EVERYTHING possible to improve as a mother and overall person. Currently, she is a college graduate and has a husband whom she shares a daughter (my half-sister) with. My mom, along with my Aunt and G-ma want me to try and “reconnect” with her. Since I hate to look rude, I accept to hang out with her.
It’s...uncomfortable, to say the least. My mom and I have never hung out alone, It’s always with her, her husband, and my half-sis. (Sometimes with the husband’s family.) They’re both the fakest kind of sweet, and it makes me cringe just seeing it (Ex: Instead of having real disagreements, they’ll be
passive-aggressive and then laugh it off). Although it’s toned down the past year, it’s easy to tell that they want to look like the “perfect” family in front of either me or my sis. While we don’t actually go anywhere alone, we do have some conversations over text. It seems that she GENUINELY wants to connect with me, but I just can’t seem to get over our history and her current vibe with her husband, so I’ve been making excuses NOT to see her, or at least kindly turn her down.
Since I’m moving to Tennessee over the summer, I’m thinking of using it as a way for both of us to cut our losses, since all of our interactions have been strained.
TLDR: My mom abandoned me and is now trying to reconnect, I try to turn her down at all opportunities.
Am I the asshole? Are we both in the wrong?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
BZdQ6sUMNUEGVKxEDenvGUae5ZcDoe6g
|
b7qpyp
|
{
"description": "excluding my group members from my study guide",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for excluding my group members from my study guide?
|
So I am in this monster business law class that is one of the hardest classes at my school. It’s not really difficult but it’s a lot of material and studying.
I have a group of 5 people that I’ve been studying with this past semester. We break up lectures and each do 1/5 of a google doc for a study guide. The idea is to have it done before the test so we have time to actually study it. The first test I didn’t really make a deadline for them and they all waited until the night before the test while I had my part done over a week prior. We had discussed doing this strategy the first week of school so there really was no excuse for not having it done prior to the test, but I let it slide.
We have a test tomorrow morning. I had my part of the study guide done March 15 and asked the other people to have theirs done by March 27 at the latest. We decided who would do what chapters March 1 - so the people with the later lectures could have used their book notes (which are the same as the lecture) to add to the study guide.
Unsurprisingly, no one else added to the study guide. So I copied and pasted my part to another document and deleted the doc that they all had access to. It was noticed pretty quickly and they asked why I deleted it, and I told them I didn’t think it was fair for them to benefit from my hard work without giving anything in return. I finished the study guide on my own and they are wanting access to it because “they have lives and can’t just drop everything to study”. I’ve said no twice now but they are talking trash about me in the group chat (that I am still in) calling me selfish for not sharing since I “already did the work”. These people are not my friends but I don’t want them to tell other people I am a bad study partner. Am I being the asshole for not sharing? The work is already done and I won’t be losing anything by letting them see my notes. I feel like I am justified in not sharing but at the same time don’t want to be known as the asshole who can’t share.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
e6XIcVsixMkwsTjadrQJscuAUmTnhjMZ
|
b6cz7d
|
{
"description": "being livid at a superior coworker who denied me a major opportunity",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being livid at a superior coworker who denied me a major opportunity?
|
Some background.
I recently passed 2 high level certification tests that give me the ability to take on much more responsibility and do more important tasks. One of those is to become an instructor for the national based program we work for.
In order to become an instructor you have to demonstrate your mastery of the material, and then have your mentor sign you off. Once signed off it goes to your program director who then gives the final okay.
My mentor has signed me off and sent off the application to our program director. They then responded with a no, stating they don't like they way I talk to her (specifically the way I talked to her as a woman). My mentor avoided probing the situation and came back to me with that information.
This is the first time I hear of ANY negative comment at all from anyone. Infact I was so flustered I asked a few of the other colleagues both male and female if they had ever thought my interactions towards them, her, or any women had been negative and they said no.
This then lead us to believe that she must be holding a grudge against me or that she heard something from someone else and assumed I was guilty without ever giving me a chance to tell my side of the story(she's known me for 10 back when I was a cocky teenager).
I requested a meeting with her face to face to discuss, and even offered to talk on the phone if that wouldn't work out. She said no to both, effectively blocking any chance I have at becoming and instructor which blocks my plans for the future completely. And she stated she doesn't want me teaching at our facility at all.
Is this even legal as it's a national program and I assume there is a proper grievance process for thinks like this?
TL ; DR boss blocked my ability to progress based on the fact she doesn't like me.
Sorry for any grammar issues, typed on mobile.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
CpX3FdeAMtpfhvnKLORzU0FxLXC3ai0u
|
at1emp
|
{
"description": "not going down on her",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for not going down on her?
|
So basically it was my birthday last week and this girl I’m seeing gave me a blowjob as my present. I was about to go and take a shower when she threw a fit because I didn’t go back down on her. Honestly I wouldn’t have minded but I thought it was a present on her behalf and her whiny attitude kinda ruined the mood.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
fVyzJhKOLPd2LpSc1T7Fts21gYD8pZ96
|
aidrtj
|
{
"description": "not giving my friend a $50 dollar itunes giftcard",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not giving my friend a $50 dollar itunes giftcard
|
So I'm neighbor's with another guy my age, and we're both in high school. We don't really talk to each other anymore but a year before we would always walk to the store nearby and buy me food, candy etc. Nothing big but it happened a couple times. We recently fell out due to the fact that we had pretty much nothing in common. I recently went to a movie theater with some new friends, we went to the arcade cause we were ewrly for the movie. I went to this wheel spinner game, I won a $50 itunes gift card on my first try. I found it funny that i won $50 dollar gift card on my first try for $1, so I posted it on my story. He hit me up and told me I should give it to him (no big deal, a lot of people joked about the same thing). So I said "😂 I'll sell it for $45. He legit thought he should get it dor free because of all the times he bought stuff for me. Me thinking they were gifts, and him never saying I had to pay him back told him, that if they were gifts he shouldn't be expecting anything in return for them and that its kind of cheap of him to bring up gifts to try and get something out of me. (He never denied they were gifts) He thought I should pay him back. So I told him I would sell it for 25 bucks. He still thought I should give for free. I told him no because I thought they were gifts, and he never denied they were and never asked any thing in return until now then he left me on "that's a crappy way to pay someone back smh" The way I see it. Its kind of like someone giving me a Christmas present. And then 6 months later they demand you do something for them cause they bought you a present.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
KIgM0f9SnMZhJx6Hz7NRfTelpu7xrZvn
|
aiczu8
|
{
"description": "ghosting a serious relationship",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for ghosting a serious relationship
|
This has been weighing on me. Need to know if I’m TA.
I was friends with guy for a long time. I knew his history of cheating and cautiously entered the relationship.
We agreed to keep our relationship a secret from our friends for a while. Didn’t want the pressure from them.
Few months into our relationship, I see one of my best friends names run across his phone. I asked and initially he acted like it was no big deal. I knew they had been flirty before despite her being in a serious relationship. He admitted that she was being forward but didn’t know how to shut it down without saying we were a thing. After some boundary setting he said he wanted to “come out” to our friends, and be exclusive.
About 6 months of great relationship passes. He approached me about taking his house off the market, me selling my house, moving in. I was checking out job prospects in the area. I picked more neutral upgrades for my house preparing to sell it. We discussed marriage (both of us have been divorced) It was getting serious.
He introduced me to his friends, which he was nervous about. He had previously went on a few dates with one of them and didn’t want to hurt her feelings.
Well, one night we’re at his place with all his friends about to watch a season premier of something. I walked into the kitchen, and he has both of his hands on this girl’s face telling her something. She is starring up at him sweetly. I walked in, and he quickly jerked back, and said something like “...babe”
I said I was sorry but I had to get to a work thing early and needed to go. He followed me to his room where I was collecting my things. He asked me not to go, and that it wasn’t anything. I just kept saying I had to get up early and needed to get on the road.
His messages ranged from being apologetic to being angry. But I never responded. I felt like he’d sucker me into feeling bad for him eventually and I just dropped it. He still messages me periodically and I have yet to see or speak to him since that night. It seriously broke my heart though.
Tell me if ITA.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
WRONG
|
ExPiKOcUgc0BtthRK7SrZ73H4KCmALNA
|
au5r3v
|
{
"description": "letting my buddy try my dip spit after asking if it was mint sauce",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for letting my buddy try my dip spit after asking if it was mint sauce?
|
The only redeemable part about his question is that I ate lamb (popularly pairs nicely) the night before and boasted about it. But come on... you can't learn from word of mouth alone.
Relevant information:
- Hawken Wintergreen, Long Cut.
- I always use mason jars.
- He didn't find it funny.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
wOBtyyZmC64mDnGxWqK0yCf5KRt7MeT2
|
b4fatz
|
{
"description": "not skating together with my daughter and my ex at my daughter's birthday party",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not skating together with my daughter and my ex at my daughter’s birthday party?
|
Little backstory: my wife and I got addicted to meth and got involved with dcfs. They took our 3 children (7f,5f and 3m) and placed them with my mom. Shortly after this my wife and I split up and she moved in with another guy. He was an old friend of mine so my kids know him but can’t see him because of our situation.
My middle daughter still won’t accept this and thinks once we get through this my ex and I will get back together. It’s like she thinks the judge is not letting us be together. So I’m having almost daily talks with my daughter trying to get her to understand that her mom and I will not get back together and her mom has a new boyfriend(fiancé)
Back in October my middle daughter had her 5th birthday at a skate rink. My mom invited my ex as well which I have no problem with. We can be civil especially for a birthday party.
Anyways, my daughter asks me if I will skate with her and then also grabs her moms hand. She then starts smiling and saying “we’re a family again” I then pull away and tell my daughter to go ahead and skate with mommy for a while and we can switch off. I was not comfortable with this.
My ex brought this up today and was saying I don’t know how to coparent and I should have no problem skating together with our daughter.
In my opinion it’s only making my daughter think that one day we will be a family again. I feel like she will only take it worse if we keep up the charades.
Am I the asshole for not wanting to do this?
Ps: I know every one kind of sucks here because of the drugs but we are both in recovery. So please don’t base your opinion on that and only base your opinion on the situation at the skate rink
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
SvDRBciGpNq8u99m1iLVJhYOdm5OBfPf
|
asytnj
|
{
"description": "having a cold attitude about mental health on social media",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for having a cold attitude about mental health on social media
|
I (32 F) have found myself increasing annoyed by my friends and family who constantly post on social media and/or meme about depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, etc. I am not salty about mental health conditions at all, I am actively working on mine. I am pissed because these people, despite having health insurance, are not and have never sought treatment. AITA for thinking " step up,or shut up?"
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
QjB9ti7hQNPH2KD00KnIef9Cz4TUNK9Q
|
9yrnjc
|
{
"description": "wanting the name of my baby Momma's other child father",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for wanting the name of my baby Momma's other child father?
|
I really want to know what kind of shenanigans she will pull.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
OeruJIa98PPY3EEcTBP82eXn3pggX2QS
|
b1gge0
|
{
"description": "telling my girlfriend to stop chewing with her mouth open",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for telling my girlfriend to stop chewing with her mouth open
|
My girlfriend is wonderful in so many ways but when I first met her she didn't shut her mouth at all when chewing. I brought it up after like 3 months and she's gotten way better so props to her for that. But she still does it occasionally but on consistent things. For example she loves hot Cheetos and whenever she takes the first bite of one it's with her mouth open but then she closes it to finish. So I'm met with a constant bombardment of crunching.
So I call her out still for moments like those. Am I being an asshole for expecting almost "perfect chewing habits" as she calls it? I feel like this is basic manners but I have a doubt that I'm being too harsh
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 14,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 16,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
LGqlOR6MANDD94E5YsIuBs36HoVt9C46
|
ao8riq
|
{
"description": "wanting my partner to wear a ring",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting my partner to wear a ring?
|
My partner and I have a unique relationship. We have been together for seven and a half years, and we have a child together, and own a house together. But we arent married.
He proposed to me 5 years ago and since then we have decided that legal/religious marriage isnt for us. Its sort of messy and antiquated. However he prefers that i still wear my ring to show im in a dedicated relationship.
AITA for asking him to also wear a ring, if he expects me to? He doesn't want to, because its "uncomfortable". But i feel its only fair.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 13,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 17,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
TpqBRvFVhOuFYsqdMCtXBGpsIVObgLVo
|
ahsyoo
|
{
"description": "wanting my husband to seek a job that travels and would take him away from his family often",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting my husband to seek a job that travels and would take him away from his family often?
|
The background:
My husband's mother works for a company that requires a lot of travel, she missed both of my children's birth the past 2 year because she was out of state. My BIL worked for the same company for a fee years with no experience in the feild and made more money than me and my husband have ever made combined. Durning his employment he was out of town or state often.
My husband has told me that he wants me to stay at home and raise our children and he would prefer to work 2 jobs rather than me taking even a part time job.
My husband is currently working a job that is to put it lightly is not paying the bills. He has agreed he needs to find a new job and he has said he will take a new job or a second job if he can find one right away.
Our current situation, we are on government assistance. Even with such assistance we can not pay our bills. We do not spend any money on anything other than bills, and maybe 40-60 bucks a month on toiletries, diapers and things not covered food stamps. We haven't paid to eat out in 3 years. With the government shut down we just won't make it very long off what he is currently making. To add to the current sense of doom, our current living situation is coming to an end in 6 months as the people handling the estate want to sell the house we are living in. So we will have to find somewhere to live with most places in the area being at least ×3 what we are currently paying for "rent" not to mention deposit and so on.
I have talked to him about working for the company his mother works at, although she has never said we both know she could get him a job like she did for his brother. I made it very clear that it would only be temporary until we can put some money aside to have a cushion to go find a job that fits better or get more educated or whatever he wants to do. My husband has told me he doesn't want to but not why. I have asked if it was about the traveling, asking his mother for a job, or something else and he just told me he didn't want to talk about it.
My husband is an amazing father and husband. I would miss him dearly, in our whole 8 years of our relationship we have never spent more than a few nights away from one another. I have heard my MIL talk often of families being welcomed to come stay with them durning long stays and holidays. I would be 100% down for that. I just feel like this is the only way we are going to make it work if he wants me to stay at home with the children or even have a home to stay in.
Am I the asshole for wanting my husband to take a good paying job that would require a lot of travel, taking him away from me and his two children in order for us to be able to possibly get out of poverty?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
587M4juvUuNQW4I2OwjCH6eTsMQlYVTK
|
b4iwv2
|
{
"description": "excluding one sister and taking the other on our yearly vacation",
"pronormative_score": 35,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I exclude one sister and take the other on our yearly vacation?
|
I live pretty far from the rest of my family. For the last three years I save up and take my sisters on a vacation. My youngest sis and I are very close. My middle sister not so much. The relationship between the two of them is sometimes outright hostile.
I’ve included her the last three times more out of obligation than anything else. The reason I want to leave her out of this one is because she outright ruined the last. She insisted on bringing her young daughter. If me and my other sister did anything that a young child couldn’t be included in she would throw a hissy fit. She kept starting fights with my other sister. One of the nights she was letting her daughter be so freaking loud that the people next to us complained and hotel staff came to our room and asked us to quiet down. Then she loudly said, “jokes on them, he didn’t even care”. I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t have come to our room if he didn’t care. Whenever her and my other sister would fight she kept threatening to leave early. I just kept my mouth shut internally hoping she really would.
These vacations aren’t cheap. This is the one big fun thing I get to do all year. There’s just always some drama or hassle with her. I know it would probably hurt her feeling or piss her off or both, but I want to be able to actually enjoy the vacation this year.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 35,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 35,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
RtUbhGopUB5wUzXtGKfdd5Fy9QVlAdWU
|
aoga10
|
{
"description": "leaving my husband because of his mental illness",
"pronormative_score": 188,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
WIBTAH for leaving my husband because of his mental illness?
|
My husband of 1 year (together 2.5 total) is very funny and sweet at times. At his core he is a dream. He’s also drop dead gorgeous and we have similar interests. But, other times he is such a bummer that it drains me to even be around him. He alternates between being the life of the party and a living rain cloud. When the switch flips he slams doors and cabinets, walks heavy footed around the house, passive aggressively cleans up while making a big show about picking up a mess, and his entire face changes to a look of disgust and contempt.
In the good moments he is sweet and thoughtful and seems to care about my feelings. In the bad moments he raises his fist to hit me, actually hits me sometimes, calls me names and tells me I’m fat or ugly. I am an attractive woman but he has made me doubt my self-worth. The one bonus to this is that the day after being grumpy and moody he is very nice to me.
This behavior occurs monthly with arguments happening every other day that he seems to fabricate out of nothing. I have two children (not his) that live with me and though they never see it, they feel it. I am a naturally sunshiney and optimistic person and that’s the home they are accustomed to. I feel terrible for saying this but he makes our home feel like the scene in, “What Dreams May Come” where Robin Williams goes to Hell to find his wife. I’ve never verbalized that until just now and it gives me chills.
When I tell him that he depresses me he has lately started saying things like, “I know I’m a piece of shit. I don’t deserve you”. He then spirals into a depression where he gives all of his belongings away and seems robbed of all joy. I feel as if I have robbed him of it.
AITAH?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 188,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 3
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 188,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
ltpg21vOl364xim5ZUNbDS4jir5IyHbA
|
ah5pkc
|
{
"description": "being mad at my bf and going over his head because he didn't use my brother as his real estate agent",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 15
}
|
AITA for being mad at my bf and going over his head because he didn’t use my brother as his real estate agent?
|
I’ll try to keep this short, but my bf recently decided to buy a house and my brother recently became a real estate agent. Let’s call my brother G. The original real estate agent, let’s call her K, he was using didn’t seem like she had our best interest at heart. Wouldn’t even put in offers lower than the asking price. At this point I tried to convince him to use G. He didn’t seem to have any interest in doing that and didn’t really give him a chance. He then told his dad that he didn’t like K and his dad told a friend of his (that is also a real estate agent) to text my boyfriend. We will call her D. So D texts my boyfriend and he accepts her help. I’m a little upset about the fact that he never seemed to even give my brother a chance. We’ve been together for 3 years, he has spent holidays with my family. My boyfriend is extremely family oriented and protective of his family. Today I asked my brother to show up a house, not knowing he was asking D to show us the house as well. He got mad and told me to stay out of his business. Am I the asshole for being mad that he didn’t consider helping out my brother? I had to text my brother and cancel. I should mention my mom let us live in her house while we are looking.
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HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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asltbf
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{
"description": "getting annoyed by people constantly asking me \"are you okay?\"",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for getting annoyed by people constantly asking me "Are you okay?"
|
For context- Fractured my arm 2 weeks ago, been wearing a cast since. Every time i see someone that i know, they go : "Are you okay?"
I dont know if im the only one but its kinda annoying
|
HISTORICAL
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b54s8j
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{
"description": "being insecure about a fictional character",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 2
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|
AITA for being insecure about a fictional character?
|
My bf is obsessed with a character on a show he watches. It’s a daily thing for him to talk about her. Physically she’s pretty much my exact opposite. He will have entire conversations discussing how she might be feeling in situations, yet is totally confused when I get upset over things that would be completely obvious if he gave my feelings a second’s thought. Very often instead of doing something will me he will choose to watch the show, even though he’s seen it dozens of times already. He even spends hours online talking about her, but will let my texts go unanswered for hours and hours. Overall he just seems to like a fictional character more than his own flesh and blood gf.
|
HISTORICAL
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avjgat
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{
"description": "reporting a property to Airbnb, should I have just written a bad review",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for reporting a property to Airbnb, should I have just written a bad review?
|
I stayed in a property that had no heating on in winter. The owner was away, and in her info guide she had specifically said to not touch the heating so I couldn’t turn it on. The room also had no light, only a lamp and there were lots of other minor issues. I am very hardy and can stand the cold, but it was 4C during the day and my legs started to go numb, so I had to eventually leave and pay for a hotel.
It felt wrong to leave a negative review so I contacted Airbnb. They said to ask for a refund, but I instead asked them to contact her and point out why this was an issue as this wasn’t about getting the money back. The listing now seems to be delisted (though perhaps I have just been blocked).
I am wondering if I should have just left an honest review instead. I didn’t want her to stop listing, just understand that she needs to perhaps not let it in the coldest periods if she can’t heat the house. I am wondering if I got the etiquette all wrong here and I’m the arsehole.
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HISTORICAL
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a0pn09
| null |
AITA: Red Tree Loving Nazi
|
Red is my very favorite color. I thought the Christmas trees Melania put up were very pretty; BECAUSE THEY ARE RED. My opinion of her trees has literally not a fucking thing to do with politics. Today I learned, via the Facebook, that I am in fact, an asshole; and apparently a white supremacist. I am so glad someone told me. I was completely in the dark about that.
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HISTORICAL
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ae3lhy
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{
"description": "\"ruining\" my girlfriends birthday",
"pronormative_score": 31,
"contranormative_score": 1
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|
AITA For "ruining" my girlfriends birthday?
|
Sorry for the novel, but I'm so confused.
I (36m) and my girlfriend (30f) just got 100% custody of my (5f) daughter as my ex wife is moving out of state at the end of the week. Prior to this new custody arrangement, we have had primary physical custody of my daughter because my ex works M-F 9-5 and is single. I work from home which makes transportation for school easy for me, and allows for us (myself and ex-wife) to avoid paying for after school care. My home is my daughters home of record and we have cared for her throughout the weekdays and have had all weekends kid-free until now.
My girlfriend was always opposed to this custody agreement, because to her it felt as though "we are doing your ex-wife a favor, and she needs to do her part and take her daughter 50/50" adding that she should pay for her own day care for the days she would have her if we split custody evenly, and that I shouldn't help her by taking extra custody days or by splitting the costs of daycare.
I personally loved the arrangement. I love my daughter. Having her 5 days of the week was great! I submitted my point that we get the "easy days" with my daughter and have ALL weekends to be free adults! I was met with the idea that she wasn't having an issue with caring for my daughter "more" than my ex, but that she felt like we were being walked on or that I was doing "favors" for my ex-wife by taking my daughter during the weekdays instead of forcing her to figure out how to afford day care for the days she would be in my ex wife's care. In couples counseling she stated that it would be better if my ex just left and we were to have 100% custody. Low and behold, two months later my ex-wife drops the news on us that she is leaving for a few years to pursue a career!
About 2 weeks ago, my ex asked if she could fly in and pick up my daughter for a wedding (a 3 day trip) in February. The weekend just so happened to be on my girlfriends birthday weekend, however we would have to drive my daughter to the airport to drop her off at the end of the weekend. It's about an hour drive one way and happens to land on my girlfriends birthday.
Still, delighted by the possibility of spending my girlfriends birthday weekend together as free - no kid - adults, I immediately said yes and began making plans to suprise my girlfriend with, as up until today, she didnt know about my daughter leaving for the weekend.
Over the past 2 weeks I have been making arrangements to stay at the Stanley Hotel. The one from "The Shining'. She's fascinated by it, but neither of us have seen it, and she's always asked for me to take her there someday. Plus, it's closer to the airport, and we could easily swing by to swoop up my daughter on our way home that Sunday!
Today my daughter started asking about her trip for the wedding in front of my girlfriend. Although it's still over a month away, I figured I could tell my girlfriend about it now. Besides, she would have to ensure she had the weekend off work to make my suprise possible.
At first, my GF seemed delighted to hear that my daughter was leaving for a weekend, and got even more excited when she heard it was her birthday weekend! I hadn't even told her what I was planning yet! Just then, her face went sour.
"Wait. When does she come back?" She asked
"On your birthday." I replied
She then demanded that my ex rent a car and deliver my daughter to us, as it was in fact, on her birthday. I told her that our airport was a layover, and that my ex had to fly back to the state she has moved to, and that that was probably not reasonable or a financially viable option.
She argued that it was her birthday and that she wouldnt be burdened with driving an hour each way to pick up my daughter on her actual birthday.
I tried to reason with her that this was probably the last overnight weekend we would have kid-free for a long time and that it's a good deal for us. I offered to drive myself so she wouldn't have to endure the 2 hour hardship on her birthday.
She was also upset that I've known about the trip for 2 weeks and havent mentioned it. I revealed that I was trying to use it as an opportunity to surprise her (without revealing the suprise), but that still had no effect. She is pissed.
She thinks I am doing my ex a favor on her birthday and declared that she would just rather work that weekend because her birthday "obviously doesn't matter".
I just dont understand. I feel like we were offered a gift, and that I used it perfectly in a way that would make her feel happy and special. However, I'm being made to feel like I am an assholes for "ruining" her birthday.
I feel as though she is unreasonably jealous of my ex wife, and that her jealousy is bleeding into our relationship with my daughter as well. Should I have talked to my girlfriend about the trip and my plans immediately and ruined my chance to suprise her?
TLDR- My child's mother lives out of state. Wants to take daughter for a weekend. Happens to be on my girlfriends birthday weekend giving us 2 RARE kid-free days and nights. However, child must be drivin back to airport on girlfriends actual birthday. Girlfriends birthday now "ruined"
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "asking for a reason all the time when my gf says no to stuff",
"pronormative_score": 6,
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|
AITA for asking for a reason all the time when my gf says no to stuff.
|
So I ask a lot of questions and for my gf to try stuff with me, or for us to do things together. When she says no I always like to know a reason why, I don't like when people close to me just say no without giving a reason for stuff. For example I wanted her to try a coffee I made today and she so no thanks. I just wanted to know why not since I was proud of how it came out(different method than usual and I am not good at making things usually) and really wanted her to try it. She just said I don't want to and I shouldn't have to give a reason always for why I don't.
So I am posting her because I want to know, AITA for always insisting on a reason from my gf or family member when they decline something?
|
HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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ahnplt
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{
"description": "refusing to give my cousin english lessons",
"pronormative_score": 31,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for refusing to give my cousin English lessons?
|
Hi. So I’m 18 and just finished my A’levels. I’m planning to spend some time tutoring students in science, because I really like teaching science subjects (physics, chemistry and biology) and I’d also earn some money.
Right now I’ve got a total of 9 students, and I work 6 days a week from 4pm to 8pm with a one hour break.
Today, my mom came and was like,
“I’m going to tell [cousin] to come at 2:30pm on Sunday to get English lessons.”
I was a bit taken aback. I never agreed to give tuition to said cousin, and I think I’m already too busy to add more hours of work. That being said, I’m also expected to teach them for free without being paid.
After I refused, my mom says I’m being ungrateful because my aunt is really good and kind to us and I should teach my cousin as a favor for my aunt. She says they’re not going to be happy and I shouldn’t treat family like this. I’d like to add that it’s true that my aunt is the kindest person that I’ve ever met and I wish all the best for her, just not this.
But I don’t want to do this. If I wanted to have more work hours I’d get students who’d actually pay me for the hour.
Am I being an ungrateful asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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b8cvyj
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{
"description": "telling my female friend to break up with her boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling my female friend to break up with her boyfriend?
|
I'm using throwaway because my friend is using reddit.
My friend have really abusive boyfriend. He controls what she does on internet, where she is, who is she friends with etc.
He don't want she to be friends with me (I'm male) because he is afraid she will love me instead.
I met her week ago (we don't see each other often thanks to her boyfriend) and she talked to me how she can only have Snapchat on her phone from all social media, because she can find her location.
I said to her that he is abusive and that she needs to break up with him. She said something like "I think you are right".
When I got home she phoned me and said that I am a bitch, and that she knows what I am trying to do, that I have crush on her and I want her to break up so I can ask her out.
I told her that it's not like that, but she constantly reapeted that it's exactly like this.
AITA here?
|
HISTORICAL
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anikwp
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{
"description": "not wanting to go to a Knicks game",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not wanting to go to a Knicks game.
|
My girlfriend and I are going to New York next week. She wanted to go see a Knicks game at Madison Square Garden, not because she's a Knicks fan but because she likes basketball at Madison square garden is an iconic arena. I looked at the tickets and they are $90 a piece for almost back row nosebleeds. She tried to justify it by saying that we spent $90 on Detroit Red Wings tickets even though they were about 10 rows from the ice.
Just as a side note I am a huge Red Wings fan and she just likes the sport of basketball and is not a fan of the actual team .
|
HISTORICAL
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NOBODY
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RIGHT
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ahdmrx
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{
"description": "asking bf to change his socks",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for asking bf to change his socks?
|
There was a very unpleasant smell in our livingroom, earlier this afternoon I caught a whiff of it in the kitchen when we sat there. It was cornered down to his feet smelling foul after being in the same pair of socks for two days, working/walking around in his sneakers. I ask him to please change his socks? He doesn’t want to. I tell him that is not cool, please change them? I don’t care, I’m not doing it, is his answer. He acted as if I was annoying and out of line.
He often thinks i’m too much because I am very smell sensitive. It is not something I can just ignore or turn off, so I had to retreat to our bedroom where there is no heat and no tv for the remainder of friday night. Am I the asshole for asking him nicely to change his reeking socks?
|
HISTORICAL
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Z4iRwuyACfwiCpeVjvDrwpmNFAOd5LYU
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as3yv4
| null |
AITA My job seems to think every aspect of me belongs to them
|
I work for a pretty large company and strongly suspect them of continuing to invade my private life; emails, blog posts (inclusive of but not limited to Twitter), phone calls, text messages, etc. Even going as far as attacks on my personal network; tried to use a VPN on a few different occasions and my connection got immediately blocked, regardless of the site. The same is true if I use a proxy, although now I can't connect to any proxy as the connection is automatically refused. It's gotten to the point that I essentially have stalkers whether I leave home or remain in my apartment and when asked about it directly, they either give an outright lie or attempt to avoid the question.
All I've attempted to do is to start my career but somehow they see that as though being a mathematician is the greatest sin. (Won't bring race into this because I would like to think they're more empirical than that). However, my attempts to leave have been foiled and there's always an excuse as to why there's no room for upward (much less outward) mobility.
Am I the asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
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anps5t
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{
"description": "yelling at someone whose car I hit",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for yelling at someone whose car I hit
|
So I was driving to school, and I was stuck in traffic behind an L300. The L300 in front of me suddenly braked, so I stepped on my brakes as well. There was about 10 feet of distance between our vehicles, so everything was good. But a six-wheeler truck hit my car from behind, and my car, being a smol (Toyota Wigo to be exact), despite being on the brakes, went sorta flying and ended up hitting the L300 in front of me- all of this resulting in a \_pwingle sandwich.
Of course, I'm a reasonable person so I got out of the car to discuss damages with everyone involved. I'm pretty young, I'm like 20, so my first instinct is to call my mom and my insurance.
The lady (who looked about 40) who was riding shotgun in the L300 got out of the car, and started accusing me of not having a license- but demanded my car papers (like car receipt, registration).
I mean, I look pretty young, aside from my actual age, I'm Asian so... you get it. I was pretty shaken up of course, and I just tried to calm things down.
In response to her asking for my papers, I asked for the license of her driver, as well as her vehicle's papers, all those documents, because the insurance does need that stuff. I didn't show her my papers until she would show me hers, for my own safety (which she did not, as you'll see later. She also refused to see my license). I did give my contact details, because I was still being amicable at this point, and of course, nobody wanted this kind of thing to happen.
I was also trying to get the police (who did not show up), because I am clueless with regards to these things. I was also scared, given that there were drivers, who are big dudes and I'm kinda petite at 5"2.
She lost her shit when I asked for her papers, she just started yelling at me for not having an actual license (which I repeatedly offered to present to her). I tried to tell her that I'd like to rewind the dashcam, because the truck driver had admitted that the impact was actually on him, but she was not having it, and just yelling at me nonstop for not having a license. I tried to get the details of her driver, but yeah that was a no too.
She then tried to get me to cash out, and pay what is more or less $20 USD (which is pretty big, where I'm from). I refused, because my insurance covers these kinds of things, and it seemed reasonable to me to want to go through legal channels. She was really not having any of it, goddamn. The only thing she cooperated with was giving me her number, and she used a pen with almost no ink- and it was not legible at all. I'm staring at the paper now, and honestly even if I wanted to call her and work something out, this crappy note does not allow for it.
I lost patience- my car is somewhat new, I needed it for my boyfriend's birthday surprise next week, and my torso hurt like hell, and of course *RIP MY CAR* and this bitch was just not having any of me trying to be reasonable.
I lost my shit- I'm usually a bitchy person, and I'm honestly surprised that I managed to stay nice for that long. I started yelling at her like "how am I supposed to have my insurance cover this if you won't show me the documents my insurance needs????" and "I am talking to your properly, how are we supposed to do this properly if you aren't even talking to me properly????".
She asked me if I was yelling, and why I'm being so rude if it was my fault. And I was like IT'S NOT MY FAULT OKAY, WE CAN CHECK THE VIDEO. And she refused, yet *again*. So I just checked her details which she had written down, and discovered that it was unreadable. So I asked her to rewrite it so I could get in contact with her. So she did that, while muttering all the while about disrespectful brats.
I checked the paper which she had written on, and it was still not readable. While I was doing that, the L300 had sped off. So now, I don't have a way to contact the owners of the L300 to help with the damages on their vehicle, and quite frankly, I don't really plan to.
Note: Where I live, it's a big cultural no-no to show *any* kind of disrespect towards elders. Even breathing the wrong way is already bad. And I technically did hit the L300.
So am I the asshole here for any of the aforementioned reasons (or maybe any reasons I didn't point out)?
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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an7i2k
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{
"description": "assuming my cat will be fed along with the other animals without my specifically asking",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for assuming my cat will be fed along with the other animals without my specifically asking?
|
Obligatory first time posting, on mobile so sorry for format, tldr at the end
I [21f] have lived on a small farm with my parents and brother since I was 3. The animal numbers fluctuate, but we typically have sheep and goats, chickens, cows, and pigs outside, and dogs, cats, fish, etc inside. At present, there’s two sheep, a goat, eight chickens, a [14 year old dog](https://www.reddit.com/r/OldManDog/a0olr8/4th_birthday/?st=JRQX1MAR&sh=2606df21), a [15 year old cat ](https://www.reddit.com/r/OldManDog/comments/836xew/old_man_clyde_is_15_aits_old_man_pippins_1comments/nd_a_damn_near_perfect_mix/?st=JRQX354X&sh=9cbd4aa0), and a [1.5 year old kitten ](https://www.reddit.com/r/cats/comments/aiiyfu/my_boy_ollie_is_occasionally_majestic/?st=JRQX4SXP&sh=1a697017). Before the kitten joined the family, whoever fed the animals, fed all the animals. When I found and [brought Ollie home](https://www.reddit.com/r/aww/comments/7idmf5/my_baby_boy_the_first_day_i_met_him_8weeks_old/?st=JRQX8DTA&sh=a63d657c) in the summer, I was with him every day and fed him for every meal because he was my new baby and like I said, I was always there. Then school started back up and my mom made a point to say that if I wanted someone else to feed my cat, I had to ask. Okay, no problem, new cat, my parents weren’t particularly pleased to have another cat. I get it.
Fast forward a year and it’s still like this. Feeding all the animals is routine and Ollie is definitely part of the family, sometimes it feels like my parents love him more than the other cat. But if I have plans or class or work, I still have to make a point to ask the person at home to feed my cat. If I don’t, I get five texts in a row from my mother saying that if I don’t ask her then my cat will not be fed and will go hungry. Ollie may have started as “my” cat since I found him and brought him home, but he’s 100% a family kitter now.
AITA for thinking that the new-ish cat should be included in the regular feeding ritual?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
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at8jo7
|
{
"description": "cancelling a babysitting Job due to illness",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For Cancelling A Babysitting Job Due to Illness?
|
I received a request from my aunt last Saturday, asking whether I would be available to babysit for four hours. Her daughter is six-years-old and super well behaved. I really never have any problems from her. I accepted and everything was fine.
​
Tuesday night, I became violently ill (TMI: diarrhea, nausea). I don't have a gallbladder, having had surgery during high school to remove it. Usually an upset stomach is nothing big. I can bounce back within a day. However, I just worsened.
​
I am suffering from aches, nausea, fatigue, and no appetite. I realized the symptoms might be gone when the time to babysit came around, but did not feel comfortable knowingly exposing her while I could still be contagious. I have always hated as a babysitter when parents knowingly dump their ill children onto me.
​
I wanted them to have adequate time to search for another babysitter and texted them this morning, but feel guilty despite the fact.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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b3r3go
|
{
"description": "trying to distance myself from insecure people",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for trying to distance myself from insecure people?
|
I’ve had friends who I really liked, but decided to keep distance or even cut all ties with because of their insecurities. What I mean is that these are people who would get actually upset whenever I hang out with someone else and “not invite them” (regardless of whether this other person is a mutual friend or not). The cherry on top is when they bitch about that to me directly, which is annoying to be honest. I do think I have my own life with my personal relationships, and so do they, and not having them around when I go out doesn’t mean I don’t care about them whatsoever. Did I mention that there has been countless occasions when that insecure friend who was just whining about how he got left behind just casually hang out with our mutual friend(s) and doesn’t even bother to hide that on Instagram?
To top all that up, I seriously think those friends of mine, despite how nice they normally behave, have actual inferiority-complex (correct me if I’m wrong about this, English isn’t my first language) and would have a really hard time complimenting someone else who is better than them.
I know these people are still my friends, and I know that they have helped me a lot from time to time, but I just find it difficult to keep on being around them and not pointing those shits out so I decided to not hang out with or talk to them as often anymore.
Honestly, am I the asshole in this situation?
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HISTORICAL
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"description": "not wanting people parking in my parking spot",
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|
AITA for not wanting people parking in my parking spot?
|
I live in this pretty big appartment complex with 300+ units (2 bedrooms and 1 bathroom), and a garage build but some units have parking spots in front of the buildings, I do not know if every unit have a parking spot or not, but mine does and is pretty well located, almost in the entrance door of the block I live in, I do not have a car but my parent have (they do not live with me, they live in another city), but I pay full rent, for the appartment and the parking spot, but as I said my spot is well located and sometimes I have some random peoples from other units parking over there, so I need to reach to the security guy and tell him that I do not know that car neither the owner and that I do not want people parking in my spot
AITA for being so strict with people parking in my parking spot? Even though I do not have a car I don\`t plan having a car right now?
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HISTORICAL
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"description": "borrowing money from my girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 8,
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|
AITA for borrowing money from my girlfriend?
|
Repost since my original was too long. Catchy title, eh?
So the shortened story:
At 31, I financed my first car (before that I had a jeep that I bought in the early 2000's for cash.) Having never financed a car, I failed to find out if they added the cost of sales tax and registration and whatnot to my financing cost. They did not, unsure if the fact that i bought it in a neighboring state has anything to do with it.
So when the registration comes to the local title office I am hit with an unexpected $515.16 fee. As I am busy restructuring my budget, I don't have an extra $500 on hand.
I tell my girlfriend about it, not overly worried because my tax return should hopefully show up before my temporary plates expire. My girlfriend offered to loan me $500 out of her travel account (money we set aside so she can come with me on work trips. Work pays for me not her) and I can just pay it back with my tax refund. I agree that it's a solid plan.
Fast forward to last night, dinner with friends. One of our friends has brought a date none of know him. I ask my gf if she wants a drink, and she jokingly says yes since I owe her $500. I'm getting us drinks and she fills in new guy about why I owe her money (for clarification, she's not bothered by the loan). When I get back I get to listen to a tirade about how people who borrow money from their loved ones are assholes and deadbeats. Dinner is ruined and the subject is changed after he leaves.
Reddit, am I the asshole, just none of my friends want to say it?
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "kicking out my transgender daughter for self medding",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 20
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|
AITA for kicking out my transgender daughter for self medding?
|
For context, i did not kick her out BECAUSE she is transgender. Just wanted to clarify that.
Back in March, i found out she was DIY taking HRT. (no prescription) Now, I'm not against her taking hormones if she feels that's necessary in her life. I'm happy if she is. The issue is estrogen can cause blood clots, and seizures can be estrogen based. Both of which she is at a very very high risk for. She had many childhood seizures as a child, and has a genetic condition where she is at a high risk of clots. She is putting her life at risk, and our family will not be dragged down with her should she do that. In March, she agreed to hand them over if she wanted to live here. But we found out she never stopped taking HRT. We clued in when my wife noticed the changes on my daughter's body recently. While I'm happy that she likes the changes, she knew she would not be welcome here if she was risking her life this way.
​
So, we kicked her out about a month ago and she has totally cut us off from her life now and hates us for doing so. She is welcome in our life, man or woman but if she ends up having seizures i will refuse to deal with that because she knew what could happen.
​
So, am i the asshole here?
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HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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{
"description": "deciding to break up with MY GF DUE to MY part time job",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA IF I DECIDE TO BREAK UP WITH MY GF DUE TO MY PART TIME JOB
|
I am a college student in an Asian country. Me and my gf have been together for over a year and I love her so much, she does as well to the point that sometimes I don't deserve her. I come from a kinda poor family background so sometimes if I am lucky, I get some online admin jobs to make ends meet. Last few months, I got a online job(admin stuff like responding to emails quickly) where they pay me (INSERT CASH HERE) where when it is converted to my currency, it is more than enough for my allowances plus I can help my parents pay my fees as well. The problem is, I have to stay late to do the job where it was 9 hours, (10pm to 7am) . I sometimes sleep during this hour while put notifications sound for 30 secs so I can get up and reply to it. This made me very tired and sleepless, but I needed the money to continue studying and for my allowances.
​
I am thinking of breaking up with my gf because I am not giving her enough time for us. I would be tired and sleep in the afternoon after my classes and at night, I would only spend few hours with her and then continue with my work. I get one day off and sometimes it is not enough to spend time with her. She is very supportive of me and she say it is no big issue that you are doing this to help your parents and that you need the money. But I know she wishes that I would allocate time for her which I wish I could but the work can be really tiring.I wanted to break up with her because I think she deserves better and someone who can give her the time she deserves, because she has done lots for me, and I feel like I am not doing her anything.
​
​
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HYPOTHETICAL
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{
"description": "cutting off my emotionally manipulative best friend right before her birthday",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
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|
AITA for cutting off my emotionally manipulative best friend right before her birthday?
|
For context, my best friend (B) has been in a weird codependent fwb-but-not-really situation with her physically and verbally abusive alcoholic ex that she drives everywhere because he doesn't have a license. He's made her cry countless times, flirted with other girls while they were dating, and he broke up with her but he can't let her move on.
As a result none of our friends like him because she ends up crying to us time and time again when things don't work out between them. I've only ever been polite to him whereas others have flatout refused to go out if he's coming. Despite not wanting to see him she's dragged me out with him numerous times and I put aside my feelings for her sake.
B's birthday is coming up so our friend group decided to go out for her birthday. As we're planning out the finer details, she drops the bomb that she invited her awful ex. Both myself and a few others in our friend group said that we didn't want to go if he was coming out and we could do a separate celebration without him.
After going back and forth how we didn't want to spent time with someone who hurt her countless times for a good 15-20 minutes she blows up saying we can't even be nice for one day for one day, how she's heartbroken about it, he took the day off to go with us, and how we made her feel like shit. She essentially dropped everything we planned to accommodate him.
At this point I'm mad because we spent weeks planning with her and spent $60+ on the matching outfits she wanted us to wear (which is a whole other story). I told her at this point she's choosing him over everyone who's supported her for the past 10 years. Tbh I'm just so tired of all the bullshit and the drama surrounding this guy. I give her an ultimatum: either she chooses him or me in her life.
B told me not to make her choose and tried to get my sisters to convince me to not make her choose. She cancelled the plans to go out all together and threw herself a pity party; basically telling all of our other friends I was being selfish and ruined her birthday when I put my foot down ONCE because I don't want him to ruin the night.
Im angry and hurt because I've bent over backwards to be a good friend over the years including opening my home to her when she had nowhere to go. B apologized later but it was a "I'm sorry but you should also be apologizing to me". I'm the type of person who needs time to cool off so I told her just that. Instead of respecting that she got drunk and spammed me with messages saying "K so I have no friends" "So have a great life" "Probably see you at our school reunion" and the worst was one saying "You're the only other person I've cried about so I hope you're happy." I haven't spoken to her since.
AITA???
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "sending a \"happy new year\" message to an ex almost 6 months after a bad break-up",
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"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if i sent a “happy new year” message to an ex almost 6 months after a bad break-up
|
I’m in desperate need of different viewpoints on this so i don’t do anything stupid.
Info: i’m 19, she’s 19, we’ve been friends since age 12 and after 6 months of being SOs i broke up with her because i couldn’t stand being long distance (uni). But i know we’re both back for new year’s and wanted to check on her. Would i be the asshole for reminding her of myself?
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HYPOTHETICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "decreasing my participation in my friendship",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for decreasing my participation in my friendship?
|
I'm not really sure where to start but I guess I'll start here.
My (now ex) roommate (we will call him Alan) and I met online before our first year of college and we applied to room together with 2 other people. We lived together for a year and during that time he and one of my other roommates (Harry) got in a huge fight and Alan and my last roommate (Kyle) decided to not room with Harry this year. I stayed rooming with them because we had purchased some stuff (TV, printer, etc.) together, but I mostly stayed out of the fight because it didn't involve me. Alan and I both suffered from depression and I can say at times he was one of the reasons I didn't off myself in what was a very hard year for me, and vice versa.
Fast forward to this year, I'm living fairly happily. My depression, if not beaten, is manageable at least every day, and so I don't have much to say about my feelings apart from the occasional "I'm feeling a bit stressed about this midterm". So when Alan asks "How are you?" I usually answer with "I'm fine" because I am. He is still struggling, however, so I try to help him out, but, honestly, it's hard talking over the same issues over and over again when he doesn't change things ever and doesn't seem to want to. I don't think I'm supposed to be his therapist, but I also wanted to be a good friend. I kept inviting him to join me and my friends when we would go out, but he'd always be busy with plans with his friends or ditch me last minute for them. It also felt like he only ever wanted to talk about him and he rarely talked about me, except when we were in groups. He's always been that kind of person, but it started to grind on my gears because in addition to him ditching me constantly and always saying "I have homework" or "I'm busy" if I actually did have something to talk about, it started to be a little much. So I stopped inviting him to things over time and stopped really talking to him apart from greeting him in our apartment when I saw him. I'll admit I was a bit short with him at times because I was starting to resent him always having hours of time for his other friends but not a few minutes for me. I never did anything meaner than answer a question more tersely than he would have liked. At this point, I was also having big changes in school and work, so I turned my focus away from my home life to focus on that.
Earlier this month, Alan moved out to another room because it was his "neighborhood", where all his friends live (roughly 10 to 15 of his friends live there). Which would have been fine, that's his perogative. My issue is that he's been saying to our mutual friends that I was a depressing roommate and that I never talked or hung out with him, and that I was never there for him which I guess was true towards the end. It feels like I'm being Harry'd for lack of a better term. So AITA for slowly pulling out of this friendship and should I apologize? Or should I confront him about what he's saying to our friends? Or should I just do nothing?
Thanks in advance for any responses.
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{
"description": "being upset at giving up my parking spot",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being upset at giving up my parking spot?
|
So to provide context, I am referring to a garage parking spot at a residential home at which I am a tenant. When I visited the potential apartment, I knew that I would be living with the two landlords (husband and wife) and that I would have a spot in the garage. Fast forward a month later, their son moves back in due to some circumstances and along comes his car.
Up until now, there has been no issue as there hasn't been snow. However since it is now snowing heavily, I would like to use the parking spot in the garage to prevent my delay of morning commute. The landlords want to park their car in the garage too, which is fine. But, their son works late shifts, while I work day shifts. Meaning that, if I park in the garage, his car would be parked behind me (I am not able to drive standard) and therefore I would be blocked from getting to work before asking him to move his car. They want me to park outside and have their son park in the garage . At which when the son returns home from work at 1am, I would have to move my car so he could park in the garage (or he would move my car). I suggested he park behind their car outside and he just move his own car when the landlords leave for work in the morning then he can go back to sleep. To which they say, they can't do that to their son. I am very disagreeable at this point.
Tldr: I signed rental agreement where I would have a garage spot and I don't want someone else operating my car. It is now snowing at I would like to use my agreed upon parking spot in the garage but they are asking me to do otherwise. I believe since he's their son, he should accommodate his parents rather than myself.
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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b6nlkr
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{
"description": "not visiting my great grandmother",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For not visiting my Great Grandmother?
|
Today my family was going out to visit my Great Grandmother but I decided I didn't want to go. My family asked me 'why?' which is a fair question so I told them about how I didn't want to see her because shes super transphobic and i'm trans. I have been out for years and kept visiting her even though she refused to respect my name and pronouns, and yes shes 91, so I didn't expect her to understand at first. But today my family said I was being a selfish asshole for not going this time. AITA?
​
TLDR; Im trans and don't want to vist my tranphobic Great Grandma.
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "making a good salary and not letting my so not work",
"pronormative_score": 75,
"contranormative_score": 15
}
|
AITA if I make a good salary and wont let my SO not work? (We have no kids)
|
So me and my SO just moved in together. She doesn’t have a job while I am a software engineer, so I make a pretty good salary (not in Silicon Valley, I live in the Midwest) so I’m pretty well off.
We don’t have kids, and aren’t planning on getting any. I make a good salary that can support us both easily, and have us both have retirement, etc.
But.. I don’t want to be mooched off of. It would be different if we have kids, but we don’t. Sure, she’ll help around the house and will cook every once in a while, but I do the same (it’s basically split 50/50). A majority of her time is spent on Netflix, going to the gym, etc.
I don’t want her to mooch off me. I worked fucking hard for this career. I started from nothing. I don’t want anyone just taking my money from me.
I told her she has to get a job and she was floored. She said I’m an ass, because we make more then enough.
I love her to death but she gets basically everything for free. My family thinks the same way. They said she shouldn’t have to work if I make enough.
So, AITA? I’m debating kicking her out in a few months if she continues to do nothing.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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azwv6p
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{
"description": "moving to a new country when my family is struggling instead of being there",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for moving to a new country when my family is struggling instead of being there
|
So I’m now living by myself at a big city 20 hours away from my hometown. I told everyone that it’s because there’re better career opportunities, lower rent and it’s exotic and fun. Which are all true but the truth is I couldn’t stand living with my family anymore. And I hated my hometown so much.
My younger brother dropped out in high school and just play video games at home all day and night, being rude to my parents especially my mom, and still getting allowance from them. My parents are enabling his toxic behaviour and it’s draining them both. At one point i got really depressed and anxious and times very angry. I’d have “episodes” once in a while. I stopped speaking to him and disowned him at one point. And I moved to my aunts place and then eventually moved to a new country with a very small saving.
Now my parents decided are buying a new apartment, which is a big financial burden. My dad is having eye sight problems but still having to work. My moms always working overtime, and she had anxiety. My brother is still being his good old video game playing self and spending my parents money.
And i feel really guilty because they’re struggling but I can’t help them either finically or just by being there. And I can’t make myself call them too because I don’t want to get emotional and make them worry. And my parents, and grandparents are all growing old and I feel bad for not spending time with them. And if something happens to anyone I care about , it’s a 1000$ ticket and 16-20 hours way back home.
I think my parents are expecting me to move back after my visa expires but actually I’m planning to immigrate. I feel like I’m abandoning them though.
And I feel bad for never helping my brother. At this point I don’t even know how to start any contact with him or if I even want to. Also I feel like an ahole for saying all the mean things I said to my family and the episodes I had and never really apologized. And making them worried about me on top of my brother and all the other issues they’re having. :-(
Honestly i should’ve gotten professional when I was having all those episodes. I couldn’t afford it and my parents wasn’t supportive. And I chickened out. So I just educated myself about mental illnesses and it did kinda help. I am still a bit of a mess now tbh
(Sorry my English isn’t perfect! Do tell me if there’re any mistakes on my grammar or vocabulary cause i am taking IELTS exam soon and need an 8)
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "not wanting to go to a certain restaurant with my mother due to a disabled server",
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"contranormative_score": 4
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|
AITA for not wanting to go to a certain restaurant with my mother due to a disabled server?
|
I am not sure of the server’s disability, but when he speaks he comes really close and a) spits on people’s food because of a speech impediment b) is sort of aggressive (he’s not threatening but it’s definitely too close for comfort) and c) touches your arm if you’re not paying attention.
Last time we were there, I pulled my plate close to me, said “thank you!” firmly and clearly and pointedly began to talk to family members instead. The server launched into a long story about what he is doing for Christmas, without being asked, and told me to pay attention because I wasn’t listening. I will be clear, he obviously has some reasonably severe learning disability so he is NOT aware he is being rude. When I kept talking to my sister, he touched my arm (not hard) which I really fucking hate. Unwanted touching is just a big NO.
I took my tray, and went to another table. My parents really like this restaurant and say they have seen this server make big progress with his speech problems and that he seems happier because they have little conversations. I’m just not comfortable with it. It is the only restaurant nearby where they live so this limits my options. He works every day dinner shift except weekends (and I don’t see my parents at that time.)
AITA? I really feel uncomfortable and find it unhygienic but my parents tell me I am being over dramatic.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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b3td97
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{
"description": "breaking up w/ my bf via whatsapp",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for breaking up w/ my bf via whatsapp?
|
We were almost a year together, he was still living with his parents. He was a dentist and worked in the dentist office of his father. He avoided that I met his parents. I sometimes said "Hi" to his dad, but that was it. I think the parents didn't want to meet me. They are Russians and maybe they wanted a russian girl.
December. I had handmade him an advent calendar. The surprises were sweets, body care, and some small GoT stuff like keychains etc.
He also gave me one he bought. I was happy.
I sometimes asked him what he thought of the surprises.
He liked none. He told me "too much sweets, I won't use this shower stuff ,all that GoT stuff is dumb"
He was the one that got me into GoT, he knew all the houses, the map etc.
I soon found out that the calender he got me was expired a year ago
I was sad, because I had bought his christmas present long ago. 2 Tickets for a GoT concert, 160€ (~180$) in total. I'm a student and I have a tiny job, 160€ is more than half of what I earn in a month and since I had already bought them I couldn't do anything else.
When I gave them to him He made fun of the them,"you only bought them for yourself", that I should've known that he didn't like concerts.
He took the tickets with him. I told him that his reaction to my gift was inappropriate he got mad. He was annoyed at me, didn't want to talk to me etc. I begged him to talk and told me that he suffered from depression. I of course told him that I was there for him.
1 month after christmas he told me that he lost them, after I told him if he didn't want to go I'd go with my mom.
He confessed this to me over whatsapp &I made 2 voicemails expressing my anger. Those tickets were very expensive to me and at least I wanted to go.
He didn't answer.
Nothing for 5 days. Then I decided to text him "You could've at least said sorry. But you you just ignore me, like always."
He answered: "Sorry I can never please you."
He ignored me again, 4 days.
This time it tore my heart apart. Every day without hearing from him hurt like crazy.
I texted him, tried to call and talk to him an he'd ignore it all.
I couldn't take it anymore.
I texted him "I want to talk, at least over the phone. If you don't want that or ignore me again, I'm gone."
Him:"I have other problems. I can't take the stress with rn. If you want to go, go."
Me:" Okay. I'll go.You broke my heart. Thanks for the wonderful time and thanks for the fucking shitshow of an end."
Him:" I'm sorry but I don't want to drag you into my problems. I hope you'll get happy. Good bye."
I never answered again.
I didn't break up over the tickets. If he had said sorry I would've stayed with him. I broke up because i couldn't take his ignoring anymore.
I sometimes wonder if I was too harsh on him. If it was right to break up, especially after knowing he had Depression. I always thought breaking up over text is a horrible thing to do and now I did it.
So am I the ass because I overreacted?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 13,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
cU9SEUlAspv90rO9ArkOBPJZdZZpjdQr
|
azcfki
|
{
"description": "asking out a girl who is non exclusively dating my friend",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA for asking out a girl who is non exclusively dating my friend
|
The title is pretty much it, but a bit more backstory:
I’ve had a thing for this girl since September and we have a friendly and flirty dynamic. I was really attracted to her but couldn’t tell if she was into me and didn’t shoot my shot earlier, which I should’ve.
We were at a party a few nights ago and she was dancing with this guy, let’s call him Steve. I knew she and Steve were friends too, and Steve and I are friendly, but not super close. We run in the same circle and play pickup together but we don’t hang out one on one.
Anyway, she and Steve were dancing together and getting close and kissing a bit. I asked another friend about it and he told me that they’ve been going out, but that they aren’t a couple or exclusively dating.
I figured it was now or never since she’s not committed to Steve right now so I asked her out the next day. She said “I can’t, I’m dating Steve” and I fumbled a little and said “I know but I heard you aren’t exclusive” and she said “you know? Why would you ask me out then?” I asked again if they were exclusive and she said they weren’t but said it was weird for me to ask her out. I can tell Steve has been avoiding me too and one of my friends called me a tool. AITA for shooting my shot?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 9
}
|
WRONG
|
NKTFSiQqcmkdjTaasnEQy0nS1o4Cjq2a
|
9wr73c
|
{
"description": "being upset that my roommates meow at me",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being upset that my roommates meow at me?
|
I live with two of my best friends. I love my living space, spending time with them, and so forth. But what I cannot stand is the fact that they insist on meowing. It's consistent. It's in the morning when they wake up. It's when they walk through the door coming home. It's when I walk in the room. It's to each other when they accidentally bump into each other.
I've asked them to stop. I told them that it annoys me. It's like hearing nails on a chalkboard. And they don't. They keep meowing at me. To each other. To strangers. It makes me want to bark at them. I've entertained the thought of barking at them every time they meow at me in the off chance that it will scare it out of them.
Am I the asshole because I don't think meowing is cute and would rather have my thirty-something friends speak English to me and not in animal noises?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
Z7X3MAmj24evTYDrG281ydWjuhgsbvZq
|
9vf3sb
|
{
"description": "asking my wife to slow down",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for asking my wife to slow down?
|
My wife is a middle school teacher, and also directs all of the high school's theater productions (3x per year). She also tutors kids a few times throughout the week, frequently not getting home until 8-9pm during peak theater season. On top of this, she's constantly auditioning for and acting in plays/musicals of her own - she probably does 2-3 each year, each of which is months at a time if you count all of the rehearsals. She's also starting grad school this summer.
​
We've been married just under 3 years and she's already had several nervous breakdowns due to being so busy that have taken her out of work for days at a time, our sex life has dwindled down to 1-2x per month, and to be completely honest I can kind of just feel our connection fading. She's missed several family get-togethers (which she genuinely feels terrible for), but I'm constantly having to explain to our family that our marriage is fine and she's just busy.
​
In all fairness I can be pretty busy myself with a full time job during the week and a small part-time gig on the weekends - but other than that, I don't have many personal "extra-curriculars" that keep me away from home. But we've gotten to the point where we basically see each other for an hour or two each night, and MAYBE have one day a month where neither of us are working or doing personal stuff.
​
We got into a pretty major fight after her last breakdown. She was practically bedridden for a day or two and we spent hundreds of dollars out of pocket to see a therapist because she's been getting anxiety attacks due to the stress load - and the very next day she found out she got a callback to a personal audition and is all excited about it. My hesitance must have been pretty visible, and I asked her if she thought she might be overdoing it, to which she replied "I wasn't really asking your permission."
​
I can feel her running herself into the ground and it hurts to see, and I just feel like she's not taking care of herself mentally. But musical theater is her passion and I can't help feel a little selfish for asking her to NOT do what she loves.
​
AITA for asking her to slow down with some of her personal stuff?
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
z3WZhBYRlWLIlXggP9YEJJwRXj5EGJ3y
|
anicod
|
{
"description": "eating at a party without my friend",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for eating at a party without my friend?
|
Today I went to a surprise birthday party for a friend (friend B) that me and my friends had planned for about a month. We planned everything, including what to get. A cake was one of the items we brought. It was a small party, just 4 people including myself.
I had been in charge of buying an ice cream cake, and had spent 18 dollars in total just for a very small one that could serve up to 6 people. Luckily, one of my friends (friend A) had helped me by giving 5 dollars. Later he and my other friend (friend C) went to the park to set up the party. I went to get friend B who I was going to surprise.
Unfortunately, the cake was starting to thaw a little too much. I asked A to store it in the freezer in his apartment, and he agreed to for only 10 minutes, even though we had more than an hour to prepare. While he was going in and out (to freeze it and to bring it back), he literally held it SIDEWAYS despite me asking to be careful with it. I know I should've brought it later, but really? When I checked, the cake was not only still thawed but it was kind of smushed with the side of the box. I got upset but it was still intact so I let it slide.
We went to the park somehow, even though I didn't get any directions and had to find the address myself by doing a google search using an image friend A sent me. Friend C wasn't there, apparently she was trying to find me even though I asked her for the address on Discord. Turns out friend A took her phone away as a joke...
Later C hadn't shown up, so A went to find her. Unfortunately C showed up 5 minutes later, without A.
Several minutes had passed and the cake was starting to melt, so we decided to at least split it in 4 equal pieces before the solid cake turned into liquid soup. He still hadn't shown up, so we decided to eat as we were hungry. He came about 20 minutes after he left to find C.
When he came, he got upset that we ate without him, and said "fuck you" (he always says that when he's uspet), then shortly left without us. Unfortunately, friend C wasn't actually allowed to go anywhere without A (because strict parents), so C was scared of getting in trouble. We then had to end the party after he left.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
WRONG
|
uWFlJI1yGysk7jngPa9BUWayN9q9OorK
|
ahbrub
|
{
"description": "holding out cash at bar",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA: holding out cash at bar
|
So I was at a bar for my friends birthday. I went to get a drink and pulled out a $20 while trying to make eye contact with the bartender since it was pretty crowded. I figured having money ready would make transaction go faster.
The bartender comes up to me about 5 minutes later saying something like ‘flashing around your cash isn’t going to make me serve you faster’ and then she said she wasn’t going to serve me for the rest of the night (and didn’t).
Did I fuck up here? I don’t go to bars all that often anymore and hope I didn’t breach some unspoken etiquette, but feels like she kind of overreacted.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 13,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
8O9Mv7JtOzIqJkQVwBQOYPBblApuTQui
|
b22lb5
|
{
"description": "not staying the night",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not staying the night?
|
So I’ve known this girl for a little under a year now and we’ve been friends with benefits for that amount of time roughly as well. Tonight she hit me up to come over since her parents were away and after we do the deed she almost expected me to stay the night, which I had told her before I even showed up that I was most likely not going to do that. She went on a rant about how she’s the best I’ve ever had and I should just stay the night and not be a dick and on and on and on and I left. We’ve never crashed at each other’s places before and I didn’t wanna start now. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
QiRerm2FOPZJHL9TyGOKWRNLwi1UFoVI
|
acdzw8
|
{
"description": "getting upset both of my roommates bought the exact same shoes as me",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 14
}
|
AITA for getting upset both of my roommates bought the exact same shoes as me?
|
So a few months ago I stumbled onto the best shoes I've ever worn. They look great with all my clothes, and I really enjoy wearing them. [Superga White Hi Tops](https://www.superga-usa.com/collections/mens-high-tops/products/2795-cotu-white)
​
I've gone through a few pairs, as I wear them every single day. My roommates know this super well, as we've talked about how much I like them on multiple occasions.
Roommate 1 tells me a couple days ago that he ordered the same pair. Then roommate 2 says that after learning roommate 1 got them, he got them too.
I know it's silly, but I'm genuinely upset by this. We've had multiple conversations about this style of shoe (white sneakers, high tops) and how we each have our own brand/style. Then they turn around and steal my discovery. I won't be able to wear my own without thinking of this. And we can't wear them at the same time, because it's a weird look. It's the 'one fedora per crew' rule
How am I supposed to deal with this situation. I've told them both that it upsets me, and that if part of their joke was to fuck with me, then congrats it worked.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 14,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 14
}
|
WRONG
|
xRMzAX2t32ADc6HbpX1MRLsedc8i0INw
|
abgjhl
|
{
"description": "telling my mom to stop being bitter about her best friend getting re-married",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I (21F) told my mom (45) to stop being bitter about her best friend getting re-married?
|
My mom can never be happy for anyone, especially her supposed best friend.
This all stems from her friend eloping and getting married before her and my dad did, but my parents were only marrying because they got pregnant with me. Prior to that, my mom didn't want to get married. So they set a date but her friend gets married a week beforehand because they're eloping.
My mom has been pissed about this ever since, and I've told her multiple times to let it go because it shouldn't matter anymore.
Fast forward years later. My dad is dead and mom's best friend is divorced. Best friend is engaged (as of new years eve, the proposal was really sweet as her fiancee was also divorced, both were cheated on), and I just got home and told my mom.
She's pissed off and told me she knew she was going to be proposed to and was crying about it earlier, because she knows that her boyfriend, who she's been with for 10 years, doesn't want to get re-married (he's divorced from a cheating wife as well).
I blew her off and told her I was going to bed, and she got mad. I'm really tempted to tell her to grow up and to stop being bitter about her friend's happiness.
Just because she has decided to stay in an unhealthy relationship that isn't going anywhere (and who shes admitted she wouldn't marry even if he did ask??), that doesn't mean everyone has to suffer along with her.
TLDR - WIBTA if I told my mom to grow up and to stop being bitter about her best friend finding happiness again?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
GATgqtJ1zBYM83y014j0GvHCMDqOcYCD
|
b8q80v
|
{
"description": "kissing her",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for kissing her
|
So I moved to a smallish city and I have had a horrible time meeting people. I'm definitely as lonely as I've ever been. I meet a girl in one of my classes and we start hanging out. She's sober so I'm definitely excited to have someone sober to hang out with. We study, grab dinner a couple times, and cuddle. She compliments me and is very sweet but she also says she doesn't want anything serious which I am fine with. One night I get ready to leave her place and she kisses me. Which felt great. She texts and calls randomly a couple times which also feels great. Then one day she blows me off and texts "can we just be friends" I didn't handle it well but a few days later I call her and we talk and then end up seeing each other for a couple more weeks. Then she does it again and says that I made her uncomfortable by kissing her one day uninvited. I feel like I was sent a lot of mixed signals. She says she's not over what happened and I assume it's her ex she's talking about after I piece some stories together I think her longtime ex cheated on her gave her HPV which she then develop cervical lesions which had to be surgically removed. We never actually talked about what happened to her. I understand how upsetting and difficult this must be. But I thought enough of her that I would have been willing to stick around and I am a good man with lots of good qualities. Am I really in the wrong for trying to kiss her? I feel awful about it like I was being that creepy pushy guy that just kisses girls. I apologized afterwards but she still doesn't want anything to do with me. I've been beating myself up a lot about this and it doesn't help that I'm lonely. I also have had no luck meeting anyone else in town. I'm one of those guys that just wants to help but she made it clear she doesn't want my help. It's hard for me to watch other people suffer and not help but I expressed that I was lonely and she was not receptive which hurts. I don't think I would do the same I think I would even tell that person we can hang out just no touching rather than letting that person be lonely and suffer. Whatever we go through in this world we shouldn't have to do it a lone or at least that's what I believe. Am I the asshole? Am I not seeing the signs that she is not the person I made her out to be? Am I suppose to wait for a girl to kiss me? I thought kissing her would be a good thing
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
iIej1ASdVwQhD19SNqbTj7la839gVaq4
|
b40ep6
|
{
"description": "being mad at dad and phone use",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being mad at dad and phone use
|
I'm on mobile so formating stuff, first post and all on Reddit so sorry if I make a mistake
Some context: in sixth through eight grade I had barely any friends, so I turned to books. I just read and read and read all afternoon every afternoon after finishing homework. It was really sad. High school comes around and I get out more, I installed SC and added people, I made friends and that led to me having less time for reading, I talked with friends on the phone and had opened chats on discord to hang with friends on week days.
Now my dad is mad because I read less and use my phone more.
AITA for wanting him to "let go" of the old me that only read books and didn't talk to anyone at all? I really need to know
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
KfRmXzW0AcHWqv8Piz77JUfVSkbOHrKq
|
b1tegk
|
{
"description": "beeping my horn",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA For beeping my horn?
|
So this just happened and I don't know what I did wrong. So I was driving home nearly there and to get down my road (which is one way) I have to turn right on the high street where theres and KEEP CLEAR box. So I see the two cars in front turn right and I go to follow them, all of a sudden the car waiting at the keep clear box decides to turn left down the road and indicates all in the same second forcing me to slam the brakes and beep my horn out of annoyance. Suddenly the guy in the car swerves blocking the whole road and starts screaming madly at me from inside the car (I cant hear a word) so I roll down the window and start telling "wtf are you doing, just keep fucking driving!" He speeds off and pulls over and I can see him still screaming, giving me the finger so I pull over and stick my head out yelling "what's your problem?!". He gets out the car still screaming in a different language runs towards my car, I grip the metal bar in my doors pocket (which I have for protection) but decide it's not worth getting into a physical confrontation as A. Although the gym has worked and I'm not exactly small I'll be real honest, I'm a bit of a pussy. And B. I could see his kids in the car. So I yell the obligatory "learn to drive you dick head!" And sped off giving him the finger whilst doing so, I had to do a circle of the town as it had made me miss the second turning to where I park my car. But yeah I am fully aware I could of handled that better but when your in the moment you do t really think but was I the one in the wrong? Cheers.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
EZW0UZNgef0B4ppngy2OeQucEbpUlNXZ
|
a4fxt4
|
{
"description": "telling the claims generalist that a car crash was my friend's fault",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA if I tell the claims generalist that a car crash was my friend's fault
|
My friend recently ghosted me. I don't know her reasons for certain, but I can make a good guess; it's probably because I told the claims generalist the truth about what happened during a car accident we were involved in.
My friend, let's call her Anne, was the driver, and I was in the passenger's seat. The car Anne was driving belonged to her. She made a mistake in her driving and ended up in a car crash. Nobody was injured. The weird thing is, Anne seems to truly believe that the car crash wasn't her fault. She thinks the other car was changing lanes and crashed into her car, which is impossible since the road where the accident happened was a two-lane road, not a multilane one. The insurance company emailed me and told me to give them a call, which I did, and I answered all their questions truthfully about what happened. My friend probably got into trouble with them as a result. And since she truly believes her false version of the story, she probably thinks I lied to the company in order to purposely get her into trouble.
I told my parents about this, and they told me I shouldn't have called the company; I should've just stayed silent in order to not get my friend into trouble. I think I agree with them. Nobody was forcing me to make that phone call, and I doubt there would've been any consequences to me if I had declined to say anything about the accident. I would never lie to the company, but I could've just remained silent to avoid hurting her. So what drove me to call them? I'm not sure. I just felt like it was my duty to tell the truth so that the other driver who was innocent didn't get in trouble.
We've been friends for five years and this is our first falling out. I'm pretty hearbroken, but I'm sure if I wait a month or two for her to cool off she'll be ready to talk to me again. Hopefully.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
HQ51vMXW070Rviz5CVdcE8TTLZKRpkkE
|
ar2t2v
|
{
"description": "not wanting to live next to my in-laws",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting to live next to my in-laws?
|
TLDR: My spouse and I recently unexpectedly inherited their grandparents' house, which is next door to my parents-in-law's house. My spouse wants to move there and I think it's weird. AITA?
This is my first time posting on Reddit, so I apologize if this isn't formatted right/on the right subreddit/whatever. Trying to keep things somewhat vague for privacy.
More info: my partner and I are both 28 and have owned a small house for a few years. We were planning to sell it in a few years and build our "dream home" before having kids. Then my spouse's grandparent died and left their house to us. We weren't expecting this, and my spouse thinks we should just move into their grandparents' house and use the money we've been saving for something else. I really don't want to live next to my in-laws. We have a good relationship now, but they are pretty involved in our lives already. My spouse works for their company, and I think if we lived next door they'd come over all the time to talk about business. I also don't want to become their default caretakers as they get older.
I also don't really like the house itself. If it was a house that had been in the family for generations I might be ok living there, but it's a ranch house from the seventies that smells like cat pee. I think we'd do better to sell it and use the money to build a house father away like we'd originally planned.
This has also caused a lot of family drama which is making everything more tense. My spouse's siblings/aunts/uncles/cousins are all understandably upset that we inherited the most valuable part of the estate. My parents are getting territorial about babysitting their future grandchildren. My parents-in-law are really pressuring us to move in next door.
So...AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
N94Y68iATSRVWvuwEkzv3qH1NZlBZYTP
|
b3elha
|
{
"description": "being incredibly angry at my friend when I learned his feelings towards gay people",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for being incredibly angry at my friend when I learned his feelings towards gay people?
|
Hey guys, so my friend of more than 10 years came to confide something he was struggling with recently. It turns out he was pretty devastated that his son came out as gay. When asked to explain, he said it could be because he went wrong as a single father. Also, he mostly said he feels terribly sad that he won't have a biological grandson/grandaughter, and as he only had one son before his wife passed away, it would mean that their bloodline would stop. Yes he actually said bloodline, which I don't understand why this would be so important in this day and age anyway. Honestly, I pointed out that it is not too late to start another romantic relationship if he wanted to continue his "bloodline," and I was quite disappointed with his homophobic thoughts, especially when I thought I knew him over the years. Thankfully he hid his disappointment from his son, but I felt quite disgusted with him that day. He says that he supports his son, but if he really did than he would support him wholeheartedly, not in such a grudging, melancholic sort of way he is doing right now. Also, he denies that he is not homophobic, yet still talks about how disappointed he was. It's difficult, because we are still friends, but it is also uncomfortable to think that someone you knew for so long had such a hidden side to them. He left promptly after a few drinks, thankfully, which gave me some time to think this over. What do you guys think?
​
TLDR: One of my best friends comes to confess to me rather concerning thoughts about his son coming out gay, which made me feel that he was rather hypocritical.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
8AQKZfJ0r9GT8dR8OKu1QWhWivWdv4SO
|
aekml7
|
{
"description": "asking my friend to pay half after I cracked his phone",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
WIBTA if I ask my friend to pay half after I cracked his phone?
|
Sorry for formatting I'm on mobile.
Context, I was in school and we were in the yard and I was at the other corner of the yard going with my friend to the bathroom, when I was coming back to my friend who's phone I broke i was jogging towards him as he was recording me.
So after jogging towards him and he's still recording I purposefully collide with him (he was standing still recording the whole time) and his phone slips out of his hand, falls and cracks.
My friend asked me to fix the phone and I agreed to do so but thing is, I didn't crack his screen protector, i cracked his phone's glass. I asked him where his screen protector was and he said he "didn't have one cause he never needed it" I thought this was stupid because screen protectors are in case you need them not something needed straight after you buy them.
(He has an iPhone 6s with no applecare)
WIBTA if I asked him to pay half as phone glass repairs can be very expensive and he should have had a screen protector anyway?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 8
}
|
WRONG
|
NN5x4ltmy1pR95NEei4aK4CVEGso2VWl
|
a98y97
|
{
"description": "being upset that my mom ignored me while driving",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being upset that my mom ignored me while driving?
|
I'll try to keep this short. I was a passenger while my mom was driving and was talking about some prison and something about readmittance rate. As I was saying that they only included people who could reoffend (not people who have passed n such) she said, "wow that's amazing". I was very confused and asked about what and she said, "the number you gave". Still confused I asked her what number and she said,"oh well the fact you said you know". At this point I'm visibly upset and I felt like she was just acknowledging me without listening and I felt like what I was saying didn't matter.
I then told her how I felt like she was ignoring me and she said I was being mean and I needed to stop badgering her. After this I just sighed and gave up because she was driving and it's Christmas eve, I don't want an argument.
Just as extra info, my mother and I have had a HORRIBLE relationship that we are trying to fix (I'm 19F and she's 57). I also do have a resting bitch face and I can be kinda harsh in tone so maybe that contributed. The road at the time was clear and we were just cruising on the freeway with minimal traffic. I think I could've handled it better but I don't feel like I was mean. This happens often (outside of the car too) and I really just want to have a good relationship with my mom and I don't wanna be an asshole and sour that opportunity. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
jYfHQGkaDqLJijqmLTj3nECNOwTVmkox
|
b0gpq2
|
{
"description": "not yelling my boyfriend I took a pregnancy test",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA if I don’t yell my boyfriend I took a pregnancy test?
|
So I 19 (F) thought that I might be pregnant with my boyfriend’s (19) baby. I never told him I thought I could be pregnant and the test came out negative. It was a spur of the moment realization and he’s in another state rn, and it came up negative so it isn’t like an intentional hiding type thing. There’s no way he would ever know or ask about it. WIBTA if I never told him I took one considering the result is negative and this changes nothing? Or is not telling him anything still wrong even if the test was still negative?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 14,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 15,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
x4cXDrUoagMfbgUwguwyh15Z4gwOYVeo
|
aiufng
|
{
"description": "laughing my ex",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for laughing my ex
|
I have a former girlfriend, we were together a long time ago (13 or 14 years old more or less), when we decided to end the relationship, everything was normal.
We are friends now, but she likes to remember when we were together, and whenever she writes to me we end up talking hot things or writing crazy things, she also sends me nude photos, the worst thing is that she has her partner with whom she is married.
​
My current girlfriend knows it, and we usually laugh at the things she writes to me, even sometimes my girlfriend pretends to be me and writes to joke.
​
But sometimes I feel bad, because although I explain that we can not have any relationship and she says she does not care, I explain so often and she does not understand, sometimes I think she is crazy.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
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