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a7f8if
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{
"description": "cutting out a friend without telling them",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for cutting out a friend without telling them
|
Earlier this year I (25F) hooked up with a guy at a party who’s mutual friends with a lot of my friends. I gave him my number but didn’t hear from him, so I figured he wasn’t interested especially as we were quite drunk.
Several months later after reconnecting at various events we both attended we started seeing each other and have since talked about that first night. He told me one of our friends (F) called him the next day and said that I wasn’t into him and regretted hooking up with him, which wasn’t at all true especially since I hadn’t even spoken to her since the party.
Apparently, she’s done various other kind of creepy things to him that make me think she was into him the whole time and purposely did it to sabotage us. We’ve been friends for years but I feel like she betrayed me especially since she called him literally the next day to tell him that.
I’ve accepted that I can’t trust her anymore and to be honest I’m upset and a bit angry. I feel like I should talk to her but I’m quite non-confrontational and I don’t want to make it a big deal of it in my friend group so I’ve just been avoiding her and not really inviting her to things anymore. I try and stay friendly when we see each other but it makes me feel hypocritical and two faced (an asshole). Also it’s been quite a while since it’s happened and she will definitely just lie about it or deflect so I don’t think its worth it.
Sorry this is all very highschool drama and I’m really not used to it. This is a throwaway btw, thanks for listening :)
TLDR: Friend told guy i wasn't into him behind my back and I feel betrayed. Now I don't want to be friends and am cutting her out
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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|
b50b68
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{
"description": "liking a tweet",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for liking a tweet
|
So a bit of Background my girlfriend and I have been dating for 5 years and within the recent year have been in sort of a rough patch. We broke up because I thought she was too controlling and she was adding too much to my stress while being a hypocritical about the whole thing and I was growing bitter towards her. We got back together because I really missed her and she promised to change and to be fair she has in some aspects the fist three months of getting back together were rocky but recently it’s slightly better.
Fast forward to today, she has recently been becoming an extremely jealous type like I can look at someone for a split second and she automatically assumes I’m checking them out and she’ll just go quiet and give me attitude the whole day and not tell me why until she says something along the lines of “hope you and that girl have fun”. It irritates me. Today I liked a tweet and it was quoted tweet it said “middle eastern beauty hits differently” (my girl and I are Latino) and the picture was a middle eastern girl. All I did was like it because I thought now that I think about it I do see a lot of attractive middle easterns men and women. I told her this but she’s still mad and I hate this jealousy. So am I really the asshole for liking this tweet?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 9,
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
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|
acsbc7
|
{
"description": "commenting on my aunt's facebook post not being christian",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
WIBTA If I commented on my aunt's facebook post not being Christian?
|
My aunt (by marriage) shared a post of an electric fence that said, "Why build a wall? A bad ass electrical fence would be way more entertaining."
We're from a small community and church is important to that side of my family. We are Lutheran.
There is some tension due to some due to her husband and 2 other siblings doing less than savory business tactics with inherited land that was bought together.
I don't want to make things worse, but I think it would be funny.
Also I'm 25 and live an hour from home. I see these relatives at mainly Christmas or a grandparent's birthday.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
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OTHER
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{
"RIGHT": 4,
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|
RIGHT
|
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b02etc
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{
"description": "breakupping with my so because they don't like dogs",
"pronormative_score": 28,
"contranormative_score": 11
}
|
WIBTA: if I breakup with my SO because they don’t like dogs
|
Maybe this should be in r/relationshipadvice sorry in advanced
Anyways, I’ve been with my SO for a while, we’ve had ups and downs, nothing any normal couples wouldn’t experience. We’re both in our late 20s and have been living together for a couple of months.
I’ve always imaged having a dog once I’ve had my own place, that’s always been my plan. I had a dog as a child/ teen and loved it to death. I haven’t been able to have a dog because of space/ time/ financial reasons. But in the near future I really want to adopt. My point is, this is very important to me.
My SO however does not want a dog. Ever. They have been wish-y wash-y about the idea since we started dating. But I figured “who could hate dogs? I’ll convince them”. Nope. We pet sat a mutual friends dog this weekend and my SO was not having it. Definitely confirmed they never want a dog. And I was honestly really turned off at how my SO even didn’t want to even pet it.
I know this seems petty, and I probably shouldn’t have assumed that I could change my SO’s mind about dogs. But I just can’t imagine my future without a dog. Is this dramatic?
TL;DR I love dogs and want one in the future. SO hates dogs and refused to ever have one. AITA for potentially breaking up with them because of this?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 11,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 18,
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}
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NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 28,
"WRONG": 11
}
|
RIGHT
|
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|
av9kom
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{
"description": "not wanting my mom to take money from my savings account",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for not wanting my mom to take money from my savings account
|
This past Sunday my mom and I got into an argument and I yelled fuck off in my room while vacuuming. I assumed she couldn't hear me but she did. So she sent me a text a few hours later where she said that every time I swear or act angry she will charge me 25 dollars. I glossed over that part until I saw she moved 25 dollars from my savings account. I was furious and kinda disturbed that she would abuse her hold on my account like that, especially because the money in my savings is all for college and she knows that. She has access to my savings because when I was 14 I started my first job and made a minor account in junction with my mom. I'm 19 now and go to school full time (with a part-time job). I never thought to change the way my savings account was linked to hers until this incident. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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EVERYBODY
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{
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WRONG
|
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aku4kv
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{
"description": "reporting a student cheating of my college math exam",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for reporting a student cheating of my college math exam?
|
TL:DR at the bottom.
Okay, so it’s my first year of college and I was an engineering student (engineering classes are hard as shit) and I was really freaking out about finals. I mean, full mental breakdowns after classes, getting 3 hours of sleep a night, the whole stressed-out-college-student fiasco.
My GPA was too low for me to keep my scholarship, and my final exam grades were the only thing that was going to save me, I wouldn’t be able to go to school the next year without it. I was really losing my shit.
I studied my ASS of for this exam. I studied 6 hours every day the week before the final, and crammed 14 hours the day before, skipped all my classes that day. I only slept 4 hours that night so the math would be fresh in my brain for my morning final. I had so many equations running through my head, I practically couldn’t speak English anymore. I really needed this good grade, a 97%.
I was literally so stressed out I started praying three times a day, sometimes more. I was almost convinced that God was the only thing that was gonna make me pass this test and save my GPA.
So, I walk into the classroom and sit down to myself. The only person near me was a really smart kid sitting a chair away. I’m getting my things out, getting ready for the test. This girl come in, and sits directly in between me and this smart boy. I think it’s kind of weird because there plenty of other seats for her to sit in by herself, and she didn’t know either one of us besides our work in class. I just let it go, I was really focused on the test.
We have to put our ID facing the front of the classroom before the test starts. It’s to check to make sure we’re all there. This comes in handy later.
So, the test starts. I’m really, really focused on it. I tune out all other noises for about a quarter of the test. I feel like I’m getting a lot of them right, and I feel great about it.
Then, I flip my page, and hear the girl next to me flip her page over a couple seconds after mine. I don’t think anything of it. I start to work on the next question and start sorting out the equation, and I hear her scribble at the same time. I look over, and sure enough, she’s looking at my paper and copying line for line what I was doing.
I saw this and it shocked me a little bit. Cheating is a really big deal in college, especially on a final exam. They’ll kick you out for that. So, I say to her, “hey, stop doing that. You’re gonna get us both in trouble.”
She looks a little shocked I caught her, but shies away for a while.
This rattled me and completely broke my focus. I felt I was doing so well, but this girl cheating off me started to make me feel frustrated. The professor checks the tests afterwards to see if there was any cheating, and I was scared he would take us both down if our tests matched too much.
I still continue on and don’t say anything. I get to the end of the multiple choice and go to the fill-in-the-blanks. One of them is a graph, a hard one. I had specifically studied these types of graphs for 4 hours the night before because they were so difficult for me.
I see the equation and recognize the shape it’s supposed to be, YES! I’m so excited that I recognize the shape because that alone will get me a few points. I sketch the shape on the top of my paper, and lo and behold, the girl next to me looks over, and copies the exact same shape.
I’m pissed off at this point. “Stop it. I’m going to tell the professor if you don’t stop. Fuck off.” She gets really wide-eyed and kind of says sorry to me and turns back to her test. The professor saw us talking and told the class to be quiet. This freaks me out because I’m afraid the professor will check our tests out and think we cheated.
The girl finishes before me and leaves. I take the full time on my test even though I’m finished because, again, I really needed this good grade. So I go back and start triple-checking everything, wondering what I should do about this cheating.
I don’t want to go up to the professor in front of all my classmates because that’s embarrassing. No one likes a snitch, hell, I don’t like a snitch either, but if the professor thought we were cheating, I could get kicked out of college too. I don’t know what to do, so I literally ask GOD what I should do.
And there it was, like she left it there on purpose, her ID. She didn’t pick it up when she left. The damn thing was even facing me. I say to myself, “well, there’s a sign if you need one.” This way, I wouldn’t have to go up there and say, “oh yeah, I sat here, she sat there, here’s what she looked like, she cheated, etc.” I don’t know why, but that seemed like a lot to me. If I could just hand over her college ID and say, “this person cheated off me,” it’s a lot easier.
So, I wait for the buzzer to go off signaling the end of the test. I go up and turn my test in, and then the girls ID. I say, “she was cheating off me the whole time. I asked her to stop twice and that’s why you saw us talking, and that’s why our tests might match.” The other students gave me a dirty look, but I just left.
I started to feel really guilty about reporting this girl. What if I just got her kicked out of college? What if I just ruined her life? And then I thought, “but she could’ve just ruined my life by doing that, the professor saw us talking and was gonna check the tests out for sure, right?” And I mean, I busted my ASS to get a good grade on that test. I literally lost my mind and was losing hair over this test. Why should she profit off my hard work like that? I didn’t even know her. I mean, she literally sat in between two kids who she knew were smart/studied, and intended to cheat. She obviously didn’t study for this test. But still, getting kicked out of college is a hell of a consequence, and I didn’t want to do that to somebody. I probably would have walked out without saying anything if she didn’t leave her ID like that.
I told some of my friends about what happened. Their consensus was pretty much, “wow, so you’re that bitch, huh?” And they laughed about it. It made me feel really bad about what I did.
The professor emailed me the next day asking if I was the girl who reported the cheating, and I felt so bad, I didn’t ever reply. I never saw that professor or the girl again, I don’t know what happened to her.
But, good news is, I got the grade I needed on that test and saved me GPA! So happy ending for me I guess. This happened a while back but the guilt of possibly getting a girl I didn’t know kicked out of college is weighing on me. So... AITA?
TL;DR: I studied really hard for a math exam. A girl came in with the intention to cheat and I asked her to stop twice. She left her ID and that gave me enough reason to report her. I felt really bad and didn’t follow through. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 15,
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}
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OTHER
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{
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RIGHT
|
hFRvCmzWP52Jkci084SzSdYVc52L5ahj
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a5jqw9
|
{
"description": "trying to do my classwork work during lunch",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for trying to do my classwork work during lunch?
|
I'm in tenth grade, and I got put into honors Geometry this year. Because it's the class that's right after my lunch, I usually eat as quick as I can, and go to the classroom and do the classwork. When the period starts, I do my homework and chill. During lunch, my teacher is usually in the classroom helping other students and giving retests.
Recently, my teacher has stopped putting the classwork out during lunch and getting angry with me whenever I try to do the work or ask for the homework. I don't think it's because I'm not meeting the curriculum expectations, because I got a 97% in the first quarter and I have a similar grade currently. Am I being rude or something? AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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|
admoo8
|
{
"description": "telling my brother to get up",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For telling my brother to get up.
|
So my brother is slothful. He is lazy, gets bad grades,never study, almost never do chores(parents have to yell at him), and all he does is play fortnite and claims he's professional troller on the internet . I couldn't take it anymore he needed to get up, he need to do something productive you can literally smell the grease from him. I told him we going to be running around here and doing jump ropes. Then he said I couldn't tell if he was joking or not that im body shaming him or some shit and cried until our parents came home. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
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{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
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|
aoc75i
|
{
"description": "not asking my gest friend about her break up",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not asking my gest friend about her break up?
|
My best friend (f/20) broke up with her boyfriend today and she sent me a voice message about it. I responded with: “are you okay?” which I thought was a natural response, since I first wanted to know how she’s feeling, before I ask about the details. She got really upset by my message and basically told me I’m a bad friend and I was disappointing her.
She had been talking about wanting to break up with him for a while now and had already told me her reasons for it, plus I had just gotten back from traveling and I saw her message at the airport, so I wanted to respond quickly and then talk in depth later.
So am I the asshole for not asking many questions right away?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
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|
apjbdw
|
{
"description": "being okay with my girlfriend going to a different college than me",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being okay with my girlfriend going to a different college than me?
|
So I (m17) had a brief discussion with my girlfriend (f18) about college and how she has opportunities to go to a different college than me.
We're really close and have been together for quite some time and I believe we are extremely involved in eachothers lives.
I am restricted financially and going to a local college would be the best option for me and I don't really think that leaving would be a good choice for me. She got accepted into a college that she really likes, but it's quite expensive.
She asked me if I would be okay with her leaving and I just said I would be okay with whatever she did if it made her happy.
She now thinks I don't care about her or love her enough to be selfish and tell her that I don't want her to leave. I don't want to restrict her from opportunities in life.
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
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|
avm3bc
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{
"description": "ghosting someone after they make me uncomfortable",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for ghosting someone after they make me uncomfortable?
|
(Sorry for formatting and grammar, I'm on mobile and I'm also exhausted)
Some background-
There's this guy I talk to who I like. But I see him as a more brother figure, or just a best friend. He is really attracted to me even though I'm a lesbian and I have a girlfriend.
That being said, he doesn't mind showing his attraction to me a lot. He calls me things such as "cutie", "beautiful", "babe", and things like that. It makes me really uncomfortable, and I'm a bit scared to confront him about it because things like that give me bad anxiety.
Anyways, sometimes he makes comments about how hot I am. I really dont like it, and I have to just stop talking to him for a few hours just to get over feeling unsettled (I may have used that word in the wrong context.) But I remember one time he said that he could make me orgasm and turn me straight. Which I think is totally not okay, especially when I have a girlfriend.
So, to sum it up, I ghost one of my guy friends because he makes me uncomfortable with his comments. Am I the asshole for doing that?
(Apologies again for formatting and grammar)
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
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|
azpdj8
|
{
"description": "refusing to take another shift on my day off",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA because i refused to take another shift on my day off?
|
So i work at this ice cream shop and most of the people who work there are kids from the college that i go to. this week is our spring break and most of the kids are on vacations and requested the week off. i was also supposed to go on vacation but my trip got canceled so Im just staying and picking up some extra shifts . I already picked up seven shifts and today was the only day off i get for the whole week. So today i get a call from my boss asking me to come in for another extra shift because she thinks it is going to be busy tonight and she thinks the extra set of hands would be nice. i refuse saying that i already have plans for today and will be busy with them (which is completely true). personally i don't think that Im in the wrong because she gave me the shifts she wanted me to work before hand and i made plans around it, but i still have this sense of guilt from refusing to take another shift. am i the asshole here or was it wrong of my boss to ask me to take another shift?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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|
b61euc
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{
"description": "breaking up with my gf because she lied about a guy",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For Breaking up with my GF because she lied about a guy?
|
long story short. I've been dating this girl for a three months now. a couple weeks ago she was high on cocaine and drunk. I was drunk but not high because I don't touch that shit. heres where it gets risky. The guy she cheated on her ex with, she still keeps in contact with him. (not her ex but the guy she cheated with) he hits her up every blue moon. This time was different. She was tilting her phone while texting which I pay no mind too but she kept doing it so I glanced over and heres what I read.
​
Him: hey
her: I don't even know what to say I'm emotional right now.
her: I weirdly thought about you today.
Him: whisky and hugs?
Her: I would but I'm at his
Him: all good keep ya head up.
​
So the next day I ask her about him and she says "he's an old friend who hits me up randomly"
fast forward to tonight, she's telling me about herself and says "yeah I used to hit guys up for emotional support whenever my BF wasn't paying attention to me, but I don't do that anymore" I said was it with one of the guys you cheated with? she said yes. Turns out it was the guy that was texting her that I night I was with her at 2am.
​
So I asked her about the messages and she lies. She doesn't tell me exactly what they say to each other. I asked her one final time to come clean, she gets her phone out reads the messages and she lied again. and I tell her "you left the part out where he asked for drinks and hugs, also where you said "I would but I'm at his"
​
So I broke up with her because she couldn't just tell the truth. So AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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|
b62lnc
|
{
"description": "breaking up with my bi girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 22,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for Breaking up with my bi girlfriend?
|
Backstory when me and my girlfriend first got together she told me that she was bi but she’d be exclusive with me,
So now on to what happened, fast forward 4 months from when we started dating she started to hangout with this girl, me and her meet this girl at the same time while hanging out with some friends and they clicked, I thought they were just friends hanging out occasionally but I found out they were spending a lot of time together getting there nails done going out to eat together but for some reason she didn’t tell me (the only reason I found out was when I dropped her off at the nail place and had to use the bathroom so I ran in and started talking to the lady that works there, and she said something along the of “I’m surprised she isn’t with the woman with Long purple hair” I thought nothing of it maybe they went there without telling me so know big deal, then she said something that made my stomach drop... she said “ yeah you don’t see to many lesbians around here” I pressed her a little more, turns out they kissed as they were leaving on the lips, I completely shout down as we went to do the rest of her shopping, on the ride to her house I straight up asked her if she ever cheated on me her face turn bright red and I already knew my answer, she started to yell at me for even asking her that, this was totally out of the ordinary with her personality she Never yelled at me before she was saying some pretty hurtful words so I snapped, I dropped her off at her place, we haven’t talked since then for 2 days now, AITA for jumping to conclusions without have absolutely 100% proof? The way she reacted after I asked her already told me the answer.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 22,
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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|
9yomi1
|
{
"description": "not picking up my girlfriend to spend the weekend with me",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not picking up my girlfriend to spend the weekend with me?
|
Hi everyone, first post so I'm sorry if I violate any rules.
This past weekend, my girlfriend and I planned to spend the weekend together at my mom's house in NJ until Sunday when we would both go back to Brooklyn, NY together. I'm on vacation from my job so I came to NJ earlier on in the week to get some errands out of the way, i.e. change car brakes, clean up and organize my mom's house, spend time with a friend I don't see often since we live in different states. I even had my gf pack some bags, and I loaded them into my car so she wouldn't have to carry them here herself. She still had work through out the week and the plan was for her to take the train from NY to NJ where I would pick her up from the train station. All the sudden, we had a pretty bad snow storm on the Thursday before and that made a mess of the roads as well as public transportation in NY. She decided not to take the train to NJ because after a long week of work, she was tired and didn't want to deal with the mess that was the trains. I said okay, although I was upset and figured I can leave early Sunday morning and head back to NY to spend some time with her and come back to NJ later on in the week. What the issue is, is that she got angry that since she couldn't take the train, I didn't offer to drive back and forth to NY to pick her up and bring her to NJ either Friday night or Saturday morning, and then of course, drive her back to NY sometime Sunday since she still has work before Thanksgiving. I'm still on vacation and had to come back to NJ at some point after I took her back. I told her she jumped the gun, because although she did take off from her job on Saturday to come to NJ, I was planning to come back early Sunday to be with her and spend a few nights together. She understands that but still insists that I am not a true gentleman because I think it's a bit out of the way to drive back and forth, 2x in a weekend, to pick her up, bring her to NJ and then take her back to NY. She claims I am the only man she has ever known that thinks that's a bit much when compared to my alternative of just heading back to NY early to be with her. AITA here?
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HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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{
"description": "telling my roommate on the other side of the wall to stop playing music at night",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
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|
AITA for telling my roommate on the other side of the wall to stop playing music at night?
|
It's not unusually high, there are just unusually thin walls. And this guy likes to make music, so I can basically hear him tweak on the bass every single night.
|
HISTORICAL
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NOBODY
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RIGHT
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askhij
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{
"description": "dating the girl my friend used to like",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for dating the girl my friend used to like
|
So my friend had a crush on a girl, then told me he wasn’t into her anymore. A week later the same girl messages me first and we talk for about 3 weeks and we start hanging out and I end up asking her out. My friend reveals that he does still like her and gets really upset with me. I don’t really know what I can do. But I try to talk to him about how I didn’t actually mean to try to steal the girl he likes. And that I would never mean to hurt him. We reconcile, or so I thought. Me and the girl date for about 2 months and my friend is still upset with me turns out. Me and him are with a bunch of other friends and we have an hour and a half conversation about it and it goes really well. We both reconcile and and hug it out. Then another time about 2 weeks after I broke up with the girl he started messaging her and asked me for advice on how to get her nudes. I tell him I’m of course not going to do that. He then texts me about 3 months after we had the hour long conversation saying he hated me for what I did with the girl and that I didn’t apologize. Which isn’t true. I do feel bad and I really didn’t think he liked her anymore. I’ve said sorry several times and he doesn’t seem to really care. My other friend liked her before him too and he tried to get her while my other friend liked her before him. Which is ironic bc that’s what he’s mad at me for. So yeah maybe I am a dick for this, I really don’t know. He seems really mad at me for it and I might just not be self aware and an ass. AITA?
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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{
"description": "ruining a potential relationship",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for ruining a potential relationship?
|
Alright so I’ll try to keep this short. I already know I’m kind of the asshole here but need some advice.
I met someone online about a month ago and we’ve been on 3 dates so far. He’s gone all out for me every time and I think he’s an all round lovely person - super sweet, good upbringing, good job, very smart and very caring.
I haven’t been actively looking for other people but someone else reached out to me on that dating app and holy Jesus, I have mad chemistry with them. Like that sinking feeling in your tummy when you think of them and the giddiness when I see him name pop on my screen.
So I’m torn right now. I haven’t met the new guy but he wants to meet me next week. I feel like an asshole because I like the first guy but I don’t have that crazy feeling about him.
So my question is WIBTA if I met guy no. 2 next week, and it goes well?
I’m really confused because the guy I’m seeing has really been so amazing towards me and I don’t want to ruin it over someone I haven’t even met yet but falling for the other guy kinda made me realise I probably don’t feel strongly enough about guy no. 1. Or maybe that it’s too soon to commit.
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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b6j7gl
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{
"description": "refusing to support my husband's political career",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 10
}
|
AITA for refusing to support my husband's political career?
|
We live in a deep red state and he intends to run for the house as a democrat. Except his views clash with just about every person here and the odds of him getting elected are close to none. I hate to be so blunt but if he pulls this off it would be a MAJOR upset. He compares himself to Alexandria Ocasio-cortez but she was competing against another Democrat, not someone of an opposite party. I've tried talking to him about how unfeasible this is but he's adamant about it.
I work and theoretically make enough to support both of us but that's a situation we shouldn't be in the first place. I don't believe I'm the asshole, it's just such a long shot why even bother at all?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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asxf2a
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{
"description": "refusing to help/support my friend with her breast explant surgery if she refuses to tell her fiance about it",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I refuse to help/support my friend with her breast explant surgery if she refuses to tell her fiance about it?
|
Hi all!
I have a friend (mid 30s) who recently was engaged. I consider her a close friend and recently she told me that she would need to have her implants (she got them in her 20s) removed due to a complication. I'm the one closest enough to her that she is willing to share this with/ask for support during this time. Without hesitation, I said I absolutely would support her (ex. through an airfare ticket to see the original doctor, a short (less than 5 d) stay in a hotel, staying with her for the first few days post-surgery). I asked if she would just be getting her implants removed and a bit of a lift for the loose skin. Her plan is to get her old implants out and new implants in so her finance doesn't realize that she had implants to begin with.
That's when I mentally hit the breaks. Her fiance doesn't know about the implants (or maybe he noticed on his own but they never actually talked about it). I told her she needs to tell him. She said it would be too embarrassing. I told her that keeping secrets about health/medical situations when you're about to get married is a really bad precedent to set. Presumably one day you will rely on your spouse to care for you when you are ill. There's no sense in being embarrassed. Additionally, she is not in good shape financially (over 20k in debt...I think it might even be 30k+) and she will be using a loan to cover the expense of the surgery. I didn't ask, but if she's not explaining to her finace why she's getting this surgery and getting it immediately, she is probably not being forthcoming regarding the finances either.
She said she would want to stay in the other city for 2 weeks post procedure (I did set down a boundary with that saying that I do not have enough PTO accrued at work to stay with her for 2 weeks.)
Would I be the asshole to withdraw my support if she does not tell her finance about her medical (and financial) issue? Any other situational-ethics I should consider with this?
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HYPOTHETICAL
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RIGHT
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asrc8v
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{
"description": "reporting my roomate for hotboxing the entire apartment",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 2
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|
AITA for reporting my roomate for hotboxing the entire apartment?
|
So, I am back, and again drugs are mentioned.
This new guy moved into our apartment a while ago. He seemed really reclusive which I didnt mind at first. Then he very OBVIOUSLY started smoking weed in his room. Not just a little. Daily. Multiple times. It wasnt an issue at first because when the weather was nice he would leave his room window open. However, it's gotten a lot colder and he still smokes. A ton. Every day when I come home the entire apartment reeks of weed. And I mean STINK. I've tried on multiple occasions to get a hold of this guy: knocking on his door, texting him, calling him, leaving notes. Every time its met with silence.
The last time I saw him he was talking about beating the shit out of someone with a tire iron because he lost his job. Me, not wanting to cause problems, decided it may not be the best time to mention it. That was the last time I saw him. It was 3 weeks ago. He ignores me anytime i try to talk to him and I've tried to be discrete and respectful.
I woke up at 3 AM this morning to the smell of that same stink. But this time my mouth is dry as fuck and I felt high. (I have smoked before but quit 2.5 years ago. I know what it's like to be high.)
This fucker smoked so much weed he hotboxed the entire 4 bedroom apartment. I live literally the furthest from him in the hall. Literally high against my own will while writing this.
I skipped trying to talk to him and reported his ass to the complex as soon as they opened. The apartment itself is strictly non smoking, and he never asked if we were okay with weed.
I talked to my friend about it. She thinks I'm an asshole because I didnt try hard enough. She said if I couldn't get a hold of someone I was living with then I was "in a skewed mindset".
TL;DR, recluse roomate puts me on read and hot boxes the entire apartment. I reported him to complex.
Am I the asshole?
What would you have done if you woke up to this?
Update:
After the letter came in, roomate reached out to me.
He said "If my smoking bothers you, tell me, dont report me."
Dude. Seriously?
He continued to smoke. We just had property wide inspections last week. He just received another notice AND a letter from an attorney. YIKES.
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
p2HKDM313MDC4FGv40wMITsaAGpDbiUe
|
arfcfl
|
{
"description": "getting Hugged at the Bar",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA - Getting Hugged At The Bar
|
This all happened less than an hour ago.
I was at a bar I frequent and talking to some people I know, suddenly I feel someone from behind me hugging and starting to grind against me. I know a lot of people at the bar, and assume it's a friend of mine, but when I look down at the shoes I do not recognize them. I look back and I see a dude I do not know, nor have I ever seen. He looks back at me, with horror in his eyes, because I'm a dude too... I feel an urge of rage inside me and shove him in the chest with my elbow so I can get away.
He goes to his table and I go back to mine. I was with my roommate and his girlfriend. They asked what happened and I told them, then I see the guy who hugged me looking around for me. Him and two of his friends come up to us and he says:
"I just wanted to apologize, I thought you were someone else."
I respond, "I understand, just check before you hug people. Now, please fuck off"
He repeats his last statement, so do I. This happens one more time and at this point his friends have surrounded me, my roommate is on his feet and I have left my beer at the table. His friend goes in my face and says.
"He just wanted to apologize, you really shouldn't be yelling at us" and starts waiving his finger at me.
We are at a rock bar, it's loud, I was speaking louder just to be sure I am heard.
The manager knows me so he comes asking me what happened. I explain the situation and he speaks with them then he tells me.
"They want to say sorry, can you guys shake hand?"
"Yeah sure, I just want them to leave me alone."
Honestly I didn't even want to touch the guy, but whatever. We shake hands and they go away.
Me and my roommate look at their table and there's no one that looks anything like me. So, reddit, did I overreact? Am I The Asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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|
afds5g
|
{
"description": "hating when people insult me without proof",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for hating when people insult me without proof?
|
I'm so god damn sick and tired of people just insulting me without reason. I just got back from work, in the middle of snow, and I pull out my phone, and the first thing my grandpa says is "so the only thing you like to do is be on that phone". Or when we were moving some stuff around in the shed, so I go up to the top step and sit down, then reach down to grab stuff from my brother, and everyone starts yelling at me saying I'm lazy and a piece of shit. Am I just a self righteous asshole? Or do people just get angry at me easily?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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b0nwjo
|
{
"description": "being upset with how my boyfriend handled my birthday",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for being upset with how my boyfriend handled my birthday?
|
It was my (23F) birthday on the 7th of March. My boyfriend (27M) and I have previously had a serious argument over Christmas. He didn't get me a gift and I got him one and I ended up feeling a little frustrated that we hadn't communicated to each other what we expected on Christmas. We resolved that argument however and that led to January where I sat down with him and had a chat about my upcoming birthday. I expressed to him that I do not expect a gift if he can't afford one, but I (childishly) like to be spoiled with attention on my birthday and if he can't afford a gift then a card or breakfast in bed or even just a little bit of birthday sexy time would be nice.
I fucking love birthdays. On his birthday I organised a dinner at a really nice restaurant, bought him some candles I knew he loved and bought him a bottle of scotch. This is my pleasure to do and I don't expect people to go out and spend as much money or any money at all on me, I just enjoy celebrating the day.
On my birthday I woke up with a migraine and was incapacitated. He brought me some painkillers, said happy birthday then jumped back on his computer and continued working.
We had dinner with my family later. My dad paid and then my boyfriend drove me back to his house. On the way I suggested we drop into a local bar that I knew a couple of my friends were at. He just sat while I danced with some friends. When the time came to go home, a couple of girls that were mutual friends of ours asked for a lift home. I was sitting with another girl who was drunk crying so I told him to drop them off and come back and pick me up as the girls only lived a couple of minutes away. An hour later he wasn't back. I rang him and he said they had wrangled him into taking them to McDonalds. The bar had closed at this point so I ended up having to walk back to a friends house to wait for him. He was out with them for about an hour and a half before he showed up.
We headed back to his house where he promptly passed out. The next day he was in a foul mood over some work he had to do and pretty much ignored me all day. A couple of days later I expressed to him that I felt a little let down with how he had behaved on my birthday, and that it would have been nice if he had got me a card or even just written happy birthday on Facebook. I was frustrated because I feel like I told him what I had expected on my birthday and he really made minimal effort to make me feel special or to acknowledge it. His reasoning is that he was too overwhelmed by the beginning of his university course to think about my birthday, and he got really pissed off with me for being upset. He has hardly talked to me at all this week and I don't know if I'm being petty or not. He did buy me those games a few weeks ago but I just really look forward to my birthday and was really looking forward to spending it with him and I feel like I wasn't even spared a thought?
Sorry for the wall of text but AITA here?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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|
a67epf
|
{
"description": "slapping my 5 year old cousin",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 12
}
|
AITA for slapping my 5 year old cousin?
|
My cousin was visiting and like all 5 year olds, he was acting quite naughty. Trashing lots of rooms, I kept trying to make him leave my room and make him eat his dinner downstairs but he wouldn’t do it. Then, he threw a bin at my face and I just lost control and slapped him in his face in a rage of anger and then I shouted at him “GET OUT!”
After I calmed down I realised what I did and I felt mortified with myself, I really feel like an asshole here.
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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|
WRONG
|
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|
agyow0
|
{
"description": "telling a dropout retail employee about my plans of furthering my studies once I get my board exam results",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling a dropout retail employee about my plans of furthering my studies once i get my board exam results?
|
This happened 2 hours ago. I work part time at a retail store & was told to help another retail worker at another store (under the same owner, different brand) to take the empty boxes out to the dump. On our way to the dumpster we made some small talks, the usual. He then asks if i have any plans on furthering my studies after getting my results & i told him that i’ll go for a number of courses, enlisting into the police academy & whatnot. He then lets out a vague “oh.....” & had that look of disappointment in himself.
After a few seconds of silence, he tried to carry on the conversation but his tone went from friendly to disappointed. He told me that he is also 17 (as i am too) & explained that he dropped out of school when he was 14. I didn’t asked why because at this point, i feel like such a complete asshole for telling him my high hopes & dreams.
English isnt my native language. I hope you guys understand my grammar.
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HISTORICAL
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NOBODY
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RIGHT
|
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|
azambg
|
{
"description": "not moving home when my dad was dying",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not moving home when my dad was dying?
|
So last night my father passed away. He had been put into a care home for dementia but he passed away suddenly from congestive heart failure. As soon as I got the news I dropped everything and flew home. I never left the home when I got here and was with him when we passed.
When he was put in a nursing home I asked my mother and sister if I should move home. They said no because:
My job is highly specific and only available in two places in the country.
- My hometown is a rural pit where the only available jobs are government, healthcare, or service industry. So I would've had to bartend or serve tables and put my career on hold.
- We didn't know when he would pass and thought it might be up to even 6 years.
- When lucid he told us all multiple times not to put our life's on hold for him because life is short and he wants us to live it.
So my sister (who was already planning on moving back because she and her husband worked for the state and didn't want to raise her new baby in the city) moved home and offered to help where sho could.
I called home everyday and came home 5 or 6 times a year to help as much as I could.
Let me stress how I constant brought up to my sister how guilty I felt for not being home and thought about it moving back multiple times, her response was always "no nature_andthe_woods, dad would've never you wanted to put your life on hold, he would be proud of what you do. Don't ruin your life to come home when you might be stuck bartending for 6 years."
Tonight her and I got in a small argument about nothing which turned into her screaming at me for not being here. She told me she resented me for not moving back and I let dad down.
I told her that you and Mom both told me not to move back and her response was "I was lying to make you feel better and you should've known to come home. The fact that you feel guilty means I'm right."
I left to go for a walk and clear my head but I am devastated my only sibling resents me and feel so guilty I wasn't here more.
Additionally, he died of congestive heart failure not the dementia so this was very sudden. He had been in the home 7 months but we thought he might be there for upwards of 6.
So reddit, AITA for not moving home and being there more?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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|
b3vm86
|
{
"description": "not helping a friend win a bet",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not helping a friend win a bet?
|
This happened last summer but I just found out about this sub so I am just posting it now. So a friend of mine who I am not really that close to, more of a friend of a friend asked me to pitch in the championship game of his adult baseball league.
For whatever reason this league allows a ringer for the championship game and since I am a pitcher who just retired from MLB they asked me to be their ringer. I had nothing better to do so I agreed. Figured it might be fun to fuck around and I know I will get plenty of free beers out of it so why not.
Couple days before the game I find out that this dude made a HUGE bet with a guy on the other team (figured he had an ace in the whole and couldn't lose). I really didn't want to be apart of all that shit. I just wanted to go fuck around so I backed out.
He then told me that he didn't have the money to pay off the bet if he lost, I told him that, that was his problem not mine and that he shouldn't have made the bet.
Well he couldn't find a replacement ringer and ended up losing. He ended up being forced to sell his motorcycle to pay off his debt. This pretty much fractured out friend circle. Even about 6 months later we still don't really all hang out like we used to. So am I the asshole here for not bailing him out of his bet?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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b2ta8d
|
{
"description": "excluding my friend's boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for excluding my friend’s boyfriend
|
So before all this happened, my friend , Taylor, and her boyfriend, John, were a part of my friend group and we were all very close to each other. Then about six months ago, John started staying up really late to call us and play games with us while also ignoring Taylor. Sometimes when we played it would just be him and I and when that happened I always told him to go talk to her, because I could tell their relationship was strained, but he always ignored me.
Then, a month later, he started making really sexual comments about me but I kind of just laughed it off, thinking it wasn’t serious and not wanting to cause trouble. He would also get into my personal space a lot, but again, I never said anything because I didn’t want to cause trouble. After a month or two of this, he started getting drunk really often late at night and would always text me, asking if he could come over. One time, he told me to call him if I was ever horny and implied it was okay to cheat because my relationship with my boyfriend wasn’t that important anyway. I told him that saying those kinds of things wasn’t okay and that it was inappropriate. He stopped saying those kinds of things and never brought it up again.
A couple months later, our friend group went out, but this time my boyfriend wasn’t there. We were dropping people off and after we dropped Taylor off, only John and I were left in the back seat. As soon as she got out of the car, he scooted closer to me and kept touching my head. I scooted away but he kept leaning in closer. Then, he put his hand on my thigh and I froze up and he put his hand further up and underneath my shirt. Then I grabbed his hand and he tried to keep going but I wouldn’t let him. For some reason, at the time, I was too scared to say anything and I just got out as soon as I could.
I told Taylor after it happened and she was torn up about it, but a day after, she texted me and told me that it didn’t mean anything and that she understood if I was uncomfortable being around him, but that she was staying with him. My friends didn’t talk to him for a while because of it but lately they have been inviting him to everything, so I told them that if he goes, I don’t go. Now they are saying that I’m being selfish and bitter and that I need to get over it. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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RIGHT
|
HE9D6f3Ixr2WthUMCGMhnYakkNjg8zlT
|
b4q2hf
|
{
"description": "thinking that my friend should've told me about an opportunity to do an exchange with a school outside the country while I was absent",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for thinking that my friend should’ve told me about an opportunity to do an exchange with a school outside the country while I was absent?
|
Last year I was absent for a week of school and before I left I told my friend to inform me about anything school-related. While I was away, they had the opportunity to submit a letter to do an exchange with another school outside the country (and it is very affordable), but I did not know because I was not there.
I think that she purposefully not informed me to get better chances at going because space is limited, but this is just an assumption, maybe she forgot. Am I in the right position to be mad at her?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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AUTHOR
|
{
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|
WRONG
|
f1ICSNna9RHG5mexrNBqb1UlJMGJ8Dso
|
aes71t
|
{
"description": "not wanting my girlfriend to hangout with a guy she has hooked up with",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting my girlfriend to hangout with a guy she has hooked up with?
|
Pretty much what the title says.
I'm trying to understand.
Throwaway account just because I feel like an asshole.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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INFO
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|
RIGHT
|
bb0Zr9O9oqbJp3d0qEIznvxwz7CmVCWX
|
b2gnto
|
{
"description": "not taking a stand in a company scandal",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if i didnt take a stand in a company scandal?
|
So I work part time in a company that organizes local conferences.
Recently, my bosses found out that someone was leaking information like our insider Gmail IDs and unreleased ticket dates to a competitor.
Following this, they interrogated all of us. I didn't even know this was happening, so I got removed from the suspect list pretty quickly.
However, another female was found to be in a relationship with the Chief manager of competitor company. She lied about it during the questioning, and then got really, really offended when it was brought up and claimed she might have dropped the info by mistake.
She quit immediately because the interrogation had 'defiled her' and that everyone was taking out their personal grudges.
I concur, the bosses did make some nasty implications (sleeping to the top, is what I think she inferred from it). Though having talked to my bosses, they weren't even considering it, nor did they explicitly mention anything of the sort during the questioning.
I know her though, and I'm pretty sure she didn't do anything like this to undermine the company on purpose.
After the resigning, however, she started saying nasty shit. We work with a lot of young teenagers and have pretty close relationships with a lot of them. She started calling us [REDACTED] on social media, and it's been creating a false PR nightmare. (Take a guess, your guess will be right).
I do think she was probably wrongly accused in a defamatory manner, but her reaction to those accusations is making me rethink about fighting for her name to be cleared.
So Reddit, would I be the asshole in not taking a stand one way or the other?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
dcrwJEw9Pafouyhep9ZUorbd7ALUS8pn
|
acfntq
|
{
"description": "insisting on a particular balloon artist for my birthday party",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I insisted on a particular balloon artist for my birthday party?
|
So when I was a kid, there was this balloon artist in my town that I adored and would see him at every Chinese New Year street festival making these fantastic balloon animals. When I was 8 I cried so hard when the whale I got deflated and my mom said we had to throw it away. We took a picture of it with precious film so I would still remember it.
I grew up, moved away and then moved back. Last Chinese New Year he was at a carnival. Couldn't believe it was him and took a card saying I wanted him at my 30th birthday next year even thought it was 11 months away.
I sent him an email that week to say how excited I was and that I would be reaching out later in the year. (I did that in case I lost the business card too).
​
Fast forward to late November, I asked if he was available for a January party. No response.
Emailed in early December and got a reply saying he was available for the date in January. I didn't get an answer to follow up emails like "What are your rates?" etc. I emailed in mid December twice when he didn't follow up.
Eventually I just said "are you still interested in this at all?" To which I get the reply "yes call this number". Not 24 hours later there's a follow up to say "you need to book now cause someone else is looking at this date"
I did the booking and locked him down for the time and date.
Today I get a phone call from his customer service rep saying he double booked and the party that starts before mine had booked before I did...which I think is not my fault because I had been trying to get him since the beginning of the previous month.
My options are to have him come later (which doesn't work) or have another rep (his daughter) from the company come instead. I told them I would think about it but didn't get into the whole "I have been a fan since I was a kid" thing.
I was really looking forward to this and I know it's extremely silly that a 30 year old to have balloon animals. I don't normally throw huge birthday parties and I've been saving up for the big 3-0 for a while.
I mean the replacement is his daughter but I'm disappointed and annoyed that this is happening.
WIBTA if I pushed back saying I wanted this particular balloon artist and it was the lack of communication on their end that made me the "later booking"? Should I demand a refund? Or should I give the apprentice daughter a chance? I worry if I demand it is him, he might loose business and hate coming to my event.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
QQnAuVDz40bSyeRj7BwDxvv00mimYQq8
|
aulprc
|
{
"description": "not allowing a coworker to take over my office place",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I don't allow a coworker to take over my office place?
|
We work in production where our old office is located right next to the manufacturing rooms, therefore it's very convenient. About 8 months ago, me and a few people joined that manufacturing department (I just changed departments, was already in the company for a year) and the manager organized a new room for our office to relocate (which was quite further away from the manufacturing rooms but wasn't that inconvenient). Just so you know, the room that was supposed to be our new office was a storage room for another department and me and another guy helped clear that place up, put all the new furniture in, get all the electronic equipment set up etc etc. Since we didn't have space for new people in the old office me and 2 other dudes set up our places in the new office. Whenever we didn't have to work in production we'd work on documentation and other stuff alone in the new office. We've been going like that for about 4-5 months.
Fast forward to today, turns out the old office is gonna be converted to a QC lab and all the people are gonna be transferred to the new office. And this F(25) coworker of mine comes in one day saying that the place I'm sitting in is the place she reserved when the manager sent the entire department the layout of the office. I told her "that's not cool, you just walk here like nothing happened and just kick me out of my space", but all she could tell was that "she reserved" so I just ignored her. I dug all over my mailbox, couldn't find any mail where she'd mention reserving one of the places but I did find my manager sending the layout so that means I was already hired when the layout was presented.
Some info: she is not a long time worker. Basically she was in the department approximately 1 year longer than me, is constantly bossy, always talks back even when she messes up, blames the equipment when stuff doesn't work out even though other people work with the same equipment and everything's fine for them, always tries to be right and forces her opinion to be right, and "the classic": I should get a promotion because I'm more experienced than other people.
Now the reason I told all her negative traits is that I've considered taking the high road and just letting her have that place and move all my stuff elsewhere in the office, but I really really want to put her in her place, just plainly tell her that I'm not moving and I don't care whether she reserved or whatnot and see what she's gonna do about it. The problem is I don't want to seem like an ass in front of my other colleagues who are really nice and good people.
WITBA if I tell her "tough luck" when she mentions again about taking the place?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
pj8b0hAVcbt7twR5oLoD5mbTCEzKe6sm
|
axoqnt
|
{
"description": "not feeling sorry for my fiancé's sister",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not feeling sorry for my fiancé’s sister?
|
So basically on Sunday we went to my fiancé’s parents to celebrate his sister’s birthday. The whole time we were there she mocked me in various ways(my religion, the holidays I take and our car) and no one said a word to make her stop.
I was very hurt by it but kept my cool until we got home where I explained to my fiancé exactly why I was hurt and he offered to talk to his parents to see what was wrong as she has never acted like this before(which I agreed was fair).
He spoke to his mother and asked her what was up with his sister and was told basically in their church(different branch of the same tree to my religion) there had been some women who had celebrations happening soon and she hadn’t been invited to any of them and had felt left out.
AITA for when I found out having no sympathy for it. I feel it wasn’t my fault they cut her out and it wasn’t fair for her to take her anger out on me? I feel like my fiancé wants to forget it but I feel I am owed an apology especially as this was nothing to do with me.
Half of me thinks she may not have been invited as she doesn’t have a job that pays well and she may have not been invited as they knew she wouldn’t be able to afford it and they didn’t want to either make her feel bad (or more likely in my opinion) have to deal with her bile about things costing too much. (On Boxing Day she made many comments to her family about how people spending over £50 per person on a hen night was obscene and that when she goes to weddings she doesn’t buy them anything not even a card which I find disgusting as these people have paid money for you to come for you to not even buy a card to thank them)
Am I the Asshole in this situation or are we both in the wrong?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
zsYlBeRjhZnwH7LfndQ7wK0Nl70m6nmX
|
axcmkd
|
{
"description": "telling a woman she needs to control her children",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 58
}
|
AITA for telling a woman she needs to control her children...
|
I went to get groceries and there was a woman with 3 kids who were probably between 3 and 7. At first I felt bad for the mother because she looked really stressed and tired out. The kids were running around and they knocked into me and my daughter multiple times. As I walked past the woman I said to her ‘you really need to control your children’, she turned to me and said ‘excuse me’, I said ‘you need to control you kids, they just knocked into me and my daughter multiple times’, this other woman standing there said to me ‘they’re just kids’ so I said to her ‘my daughter is a child too and she knows she can’t run about knocking into people’ The woman who’s kids they were said ‘try having more than one and then see how easy it is to control them’ so I said to her ‘well maybe you should have used birth control if you can’t manage more than one’ At this point she just storms off to get her kids. Didn’t get an apology or anything...
So was I the asshole or was she?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 58
}
|
WRONG
|
78zLpd97bm0UkjQ0ckcxg1C2MSwUF7ON
|
aqqbeq
|
{
"description": "coming home from school and taking a break",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for coming home from school and taking a break?
|
So I’m in middle school, 8th grade, and of course this happens on Valentine’s Day.
So I went to school this morning, there’s was a lot of drama and stuff because Valentine’s Day, there’s was a 2 hour school delay too, so classes were weird, I had helped shovel snow off the school walkway and stuff, so day kinda sucked.
I come home, my mom is vacuuming. I say “Hey mom” she doesn’t respond. I check trash and recycle to see f they needed to be took to the cans, no they didn’t. I checked around to see if there was anyway I could help with chores, nope. Everything was normal.
I grab a bag of chips and soda and go upstairs to watch YouTube. 5 minutes later, so about 8 minutes after I got home from school, my mom slams 2 doors really loud. I got worried, so I left my room. My mom then opens the front door, slams it, and leaves in the car.
I don’t think I did anything, because I had just got home, I didn’t get in her way, I didn’t really do anything to get her mad.
I don’t know what to do at this point, because I don’t want to get yelled at more, and I just want to know what’s wrong
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 5,
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|
OTHER
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{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
KnNhJqS3cWg95lo5uuvSzMllmVH5TrfD
|
b3kbxm
|
{
"description": "being \"just friends\" with a guy",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being "just friends" with a guy?
|
I met a guy through a dating app and when we met in person we had a nice talk but I wasn't attracted to him (for context I had been in a ltr for 10 years and this was my first date since we had broken up about 1.5 years ago so I have not been dating in over 10 years I am worried I have forgotten/never new how to date properly.) When he asked me for another date I said I wasn't interested in dating but I was willing to be friends. I thought he would say no to this, but he said he was fine with being "just friends." So we've been chatting lots and done a few activities together and he has never complained or made a move or say he's not happy without more, and it's been this way a few months (I genuinely do like him as a friend.) . However I have often heard people say that men cannot be "just friends" with a woman, and I am worried that if he's attracted to me I am being cruel, especially since we met through the dating app I know that he was. But at this point it also seems cruel to say "we cannot be friends because I think you might want to bang me." Should I just take him at his word or am I the asshole and leading him on? BONUS: If I am the asshole what would be the least painful way to end the relationship?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
mZbAxfOuhwx4GVAbGS3I3gWuRBe1l5j8
|
asz2bp
|
{
"description": "telling my friend that he is hanging around my abusive ex",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling my friend that he is hanging around my abusive ex?
|
Kinda long, TLDR at the end.
A little previous context, I'm 25 now, but when I was 17 I dated a 24 year old who mentally abused me horribly. I'm still affected by some of the things he did to me, which included locking me out of the bedroom in winter without a blanket or the heat on. I shivered to sleep several nights out of the year and he would do this to me over completely stupid stuff, like daring to say another man's name anywhere near him. He made me scared to cook or play video games around other people because he would make fun of how I did it and make me feel like a complete idiot if I didn't do it how he liked it. There's a ton more to unpack here, but I won't get into it.
So cut to yesterday. A close friend of mine who is in his 50s is in a local play and he's been posting excitedly about it on Facebook for weeks. He made a post to praise his co-actors and who's name do I see there right next to a raving review of what a wonderful person he is? Yeah. So I messaged my friend to tell him, because honestly I would want to know if I was acting alongside someone who hurt any of my friends like how this guy hurt me. I didn't ask him to quit the play, I didn't tell him outright not to hang out with this person, I literally just told him what he did to me, because I would want to know if I was in his position.
The response I received was something to the effect of "you just selfishly tainted my view on this person. He's an amazing actor and is in a happy relationship. Now I have to get through this shit on opening night in three days because you did this to me"
AITA here? I really didn't think I did anything wrong by telling him and I feel incredibly hurt that his response was so mean and selfish when I thought that my friend would be a little more understanding. He's been abused before too, so I thought he would understand and be more sympathetic. We aren't friends anymore and I don't think that this friendship will recover. I just want to know if other people think that I was wrong for telling him this.
TLDR: I told a friend that he was in a play with my abusive ex, his response is to call me selfish for tainting his view of this supposedly amazing actor.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
XEJw4C5b1TmkHqmnqE9Jp6elNwAWjqRb
|
9wxl6i
| null |
AITA for telli g mt boyfriend to return the cheesecake he bought me for my birthday?
|
*we used to share our Reddit and Facebook accounts, that's since changed.
Tldr at bottom
So, a little history. I was raised by my grandmother and lived with her my whole life. When she got older and sicker we switched roles and it's the single most rewarding thing I have done with my life. She passed away a year ago in October. For every birthday since I was a teenager she'd buy me a cheesecake for my birthday, because I don't care for traditional cakes. It was something special I could always count on.
Now, my boyfriend and I have been suffering through some problems lately. When my grandmother was on her last week's he came down with the flu and I ran between the two nursing them alone as my family couldn't be bothered. After she passed he confessed he didn't have the flu, he was dope sick. News to me, I had no clue he partook in heroin. I was upset naturally , but mostly angry that I could have given my grandmother more one on one care and time had I not also been concerned and taking care if him as well. However he was withdrawing to be clean, and I gave him a shot and supported his recovery as best I could.
Very recently he was arrested at 4am, after telling me he was stranded because he ran out of gas after work. I had suspicions but I let them go. He calls me first thing the next day to tell me he was arrested for suspended licence and obstruction of view, which I said "that can't be all of it." He said there was more, but the police didn't tell him the charges. Huge red flag. I find a way down there later on In the day and make it to see him for an initial visit, where he repeats that he doesn't know the charges, he forgot what they said. I'm discouraged and disappointed because I know he's lying. Confirmed that later when I finally worked up the courage to call the jail and ask the COs myself. Cocaine possession in the 5th and 7th. One being a felony. Heartbroken.
I'm 8 months pregnant with our daughter, due Christmas day and we also have a 2y son and 5y daughter. He's the only income right now, working two jobs most days. I want to give him a chance to explain, and see how I feel and I bail him out. His jobs are saved and we have a long talk and he agrees to do outpatient rehab and urine tests.
Everything goes ok for.... A week when he suddenly comes home from his day shift saying he quit because the manager is too much of a bitch. Now we're down an income and behind on everything because of his lawyer and time away from work and two short months before Christmas and a newborn.
My birthday is the 13th, I asked everyone if they insisted on getting me gifts to buy me something I'd need for the baby because we still need plenty. Including my boyfriend whom I told to just please skip any cards or gifts this year. He asked if he should skip the cake as well, to which I replied yes both because I don't want anyone taking over my grandmother's tradition yet, it's only my second birthday without her and it's a sweet moment I want to save for now and because the cheesecake is pricey and out of budget. He agreed and said he understood.
Tonight he comes home with a huge card and a cheesecake. I was upset. But I said thank you anyway but asked him to return it because of what we talked about. I didn't read the card. I'm angry he didn't listen and he's not taking the financial problems seriously at all.
He got quiet and went away for awhile before hunting me down in the living room to tell me I'm ungrateful and we can afford it on one day and how he was just trying to do something meaningful. I told him something meaningful would have been respecting my wishes and listening to me.
He left to go sleep at a friend's or do drugs, I don't even know. But I feel guilty for not just saying thank you and leaving it at that. Am I the asshole?
Tldr: asked my boyfriend not to spend money on my birthday because we're down an income and expecting a baby in two months who still needs a lot of things also explained I didn't want cake for sentimental reasons. He does it anyway and I ask him to take it back.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
Fuw3iVdBr3hdwNMOz39cSySNXU7c7nEX
|
b94v0w
|
{
"description": "telling my ex she couldn't have my Facebook Password without asking",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for telling my ex she couldn't have my Facebook Password without asking?
|
AITA for this? This relationship was over a year ago at this point; but sometimes this question still bothers me. At one point my ex did have my password but I changed it after she blew up after a misunderstanding and refused to accept my apologies for multiple days afterwards despite admitting she knew I did nothing wrong. The misunderstanding was her accusing me of cheating after she saw me calling a female friend gorgeous. I reasoned with her saying it makes no sense for her to keep me from complimenting friends platonically (even female) considering she was bisexual and also complimented her friends. She agreed with this logic and I suggested until she minds that less maybe she should stay off my Facebook. I triple checked this was OK with her and she continued to agree. After this she continuously attempted to look over my shoulder or get my password in other ways; I continued to tell her all she had to do was ask for it back. I figured if we wanted to avoid drama she should wait until she's honest about herself being OK with me giving platonic compliments towards friends. She could've asked to look at my phone or even for my password any time she wanted and I would've let her at that second. I don't/didn't have shit to hide; I just knew it would cause drama if anything threw her off. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 1,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
HoPE1mjqBpFfOByNUoIzcK4Cqtt6aLD9
|
a6tphj
|
{
"description": "taking my nephew to a prostitute behind his parents' back",
"pronormative_score": 41,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for taking my nephew to a prostitute behind his parents’ back?
|
​
So my 19 year old nephew is back from his sophomore year of college. He’s a great guy and I could sing praises about his character all day. He’s everything I would wish for if I had a kid of my own. We’ve generally been close as uncle-nephew. We text each other once a week or so, we play games together, I speak to him in Korean because he wants to learn our family’s native language better (we all live in America), and he has always seen me as an older brother.
In August, he called me to ask me for advice about women, which is not a topic that has not come up very often but it’s something I’m comfortable discussing with him. He told me that he’s having no luck with girls in college, no hookups, a couple of unsuccessful dates, and that he’s a virgin. None of this seemed strange to me, some people are just late bloomers and I don’t see a problem with that. But he confessed to me that these things really weigh on him, and that he knows even though he shouldn’t measure himself by his success in fucking, he can’t help but feel like society pressures him to be that way. Then he dropped the real reason for the call, he was wondering if I could help him get a prostitute so he knows what sex is like and won’t be so nervous for when he does find a girl who genuinely likes him. Now for a little bit of cultural context, purchasing sex in South Korea is more common than you’d think, but rarely is it ever spoken about publicly. And my nephew knows that people I know in the Korean American community would be able to find him a girl here in America who would be willing to undergo STD testing before meeting up with him (so long as we pay for it).
I told him that while I’m not against seeing a hooker, I know that his parents would kill me if I helped him and that going to see a hooker is something that’s going to follow him for the rest of his life. Either he has to lie about it when he does find an appropriate long term partner, or he’ll have to hope she accepts that about him. Sometime around the beginning of November, he tells me that he has decided to go through with the hooker if I could find him one. He even tells me he could pay the full cost with the money he has earned through his part time job
So I contact my friend and we found him a sex worker who lives about an hour away from his house. The girl is also a Korean American and she’s going to college just as my nephew is, she just needs some extra money on the side. My nephew sent me money through Venmo to pay for her to get tested at Planned Parenthood, and after the results came back we make plans for him and her to meet up yesterday. I got him a hotel room near her house with a whole box of Trojans and some lube, and my nephew went and saw her. After the two hours, he came out and thanked me, he said it was super awkward and strange for him to be naked in front of a girl, but that he didn’t regret it. He admitted that he was totally spent after 40 minutes and just spent the rest of the time cuddling and talking to her about each other’s lives (which he said was almost as awesome as the sex itself).
Then my nephew, ever the considerate guy, asked me how I was feeling knowing that this was strange for me too. I told him I was fine, but I asked him if he was ever going to tell this to his parents, or anyone for that matter. He told me that there is no chance he would ever tell his parents about this, he’s fairly close to his parents and they’re not very conservative, but they are church going Christians nonetheless.
A part of me feels like an asshole, but my nephew is a legal adult and the girl we hired was not some trafficked woman.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
hlJ8aLDnwAHldg6lHOitElIRLZUvo4M5
|
9w0fdh
|
{
"description": "having beef with my grandma when she hasn't really wronged me specifically",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for having beef with my grandma when she hasn't really wronged me specifically
|
Hi, so I'll just get right to it I guess.
​
My grandma is really old. Like, we know her time is coming soon. My dad reminds me of this almost every time I'm in the car with him and talks about how I should visit her more since she's lonely and old.
​
My mom on the other hand really, really dislikes my grandma. And I totally get this because my grandma was really shitty to my mom. So I kind of resent my grandma for this, even though she's pretty much been a good granny to me. (My mom tells me some kinda crappy things my granny did to me when I was a baby but since I don't remember and turned out fine I won't hold it against her.)
​
Anyway so my mom doesn't like me going to my grandma's house. I don't have much of an opinion about going there or not. But since I kind of resent my grandma for the way she treated my mom I usually just do as my mom says and not go to family gatherings at my grandma's house.
​
So am I the asshole for not visiting my grandma, who's getting really old (and seems to really favor me among her grandchildren), because of the way she treated my mom even though she hasn't done anything shitty to me in particular?
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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|
b8vper
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{
"description": "making my best friend cry by being honest",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 11
}
|
AITA for making my best friend cry by being honest
|
So this was like 30 minutes ago, me and my best friend were playing truth or dare, i asked her as a truth to say her closest male friend and her closest female friend, closest male friend doesnt matter, but the closest female friend did. So her closest female friend had messaged me a few days earlier saying she didnt really like any of the girls in our class (which included my best friend), i felt really really bad about her not knowing about this, so i decided i'd tell her, i sent her a screenshot of the messages, and she said that she was going to cry, i started saying that i shouldnt have showed her because its making her cry, and she kept telling me she was only crying from stress but i think thats a lie and she blames me but idk, so am i the asshole i feel like yes
PS: sorry if this is sloppily written im stressed rn.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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}
|
WRONG
|
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|
al97zb
|
{
"description": "slapping a boy after he took my phone",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For Slapping A Boy After He Took My Phone?
|
Important things about me:
1. I have terrible anxiety from people taking my things (expensive things *like phones* are even worse),
2.I’m a high school girl so there are many classes in the day and everyone’s schedule is different (this is important)
3. The only time i will allow someone to use my phone is when i trust them to take care of my most precious belonging
In my algebra class, there is a group of mischievous boys who often take people’s phones without asking and take hundreds (sometimes about 1000) pictures on other people’s phones. Sometimes they use my phone but it is returned to me before i know it was missing. Today was not the case. A boy (let’s call him B) walked past my desk to turn in his test (and i guess that’s when they took my phone?) while i was still taking it. After I finished the test, I wanted to scroll through instagram quietly for the rest of my class time but my phone couldn’t be found. I patted my pockets and checked my bag frantically. Nothing. I turned to B and said “come on, i know you have my phone give it back”. This is where he would usually give my phone back with a groan, but today he said “calm down, i don’t have it”. This terrified me. What would happen if i really lost it? My dad would kill me. Sure, he wouldn’t hit me but he would shout at me for being irresponsible. I squeaked out a “sorry” to B and plopped back into my chair. My mind was racing. Where could I have put it. My friend saw me looking and asked if i wanted her to call my phone for me. I quickly said yes and we waited for the phone to ring. Since this side of my school had terrible service, my phone didn’t ring. We would have to get a better signal to try again. The class was dismissed and i took one more look around the empty classroom to see if i saw my phone. I was almost late for my next class so i sadly walked away empty handed. The next class was Biology. Our teacher wouldn’t mind if i put on Find My IPhone from my computer just to see the location. It was in the History room. I hadn’t been in History yet. My anxiety was through the roof at this point. Who had it? Why would they take it for this long? Were they planning to make off with it? I asked my friend to text my phone. “I swear to god B if you have my phone all hell will break loose”. No reply. People who were in my algebra class told me that B really did take it. They couldn’t do anything about it then because they still were taking the test. I was fuming. How dare he, a person I didn’t even like take my phone without asking me. Lucky for everyone, my next class was English, a class that me and B shared. Biology was dismissed and I stormed to the English room. I stood in the doorway looking at B’s smug face before I did the only thing i could think of. I took off my shoe and threw it directly at him with all of my strength, hitting him in the chest. “WHAT THE HELL?” he yelled at me. “THATS WHAT I WANT TO ASK! WHY’D YOU TAKE MY PHONE. MORE IMPORTANTLY, WHY DID YOU LIE AND SAY YOU DIDN’T HAVE IT?” this kind of argument went forth until a teacher intervened “anyway, I want my phone back” i said, holding back tears of anger and frustration. “Oh, I don’t have it. The History teacher saw me playing with it and took it” at this point i was pushed off the edge. When a teacher confiscates something, it’s usually for a long time. My tears leaked out of my eyes and soon I was bawling in the middle of the classroom. Some of the other girls came over to console me “Wow you made her cry. What will you do now?” they taunted him. The English teacher had listened to the conversation and started to intensely scold B for taking someone else’s belongings. Especially something as important as a phone and that I could have charged him for theft. I’m the type that cannot stop crying once i start so i was just sitting there for the rest of class with tears running down my cheeks. At the end of class, the English teacher accompanied me and B to get my phone back from the History teacher. And now i have it back. I do feel bad for going as far as slapping him though.
TLDR:
A boy takes an anxious girl’s phone for two 60 minute class periods without saying anything to her and she slaps him with a shoe for causing her so much stress.
So Reddit: Am I The Asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
ujRrB1TETU65BcEDxWwLAUi5XhuZPDUs
|
au2xsd
|
{
"description": "being mad at my bestfriend for leaving me on my birthday",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being mad at my bestfriend for leaving me on my birthday?
|
My best friend is a lesbian and we and two other friends went to a place called main event (arcade games,bowling lasertag, etc). A girl came up to her and asked for her number and this was cool I thought it was great she was talking to a girl. I expected her to say something like "oh well im with my friends birthday party" but instead they went off on their own thing for an hour or two.
If we were just hanging out normally this wouldn't have been a problem but on my birthday???? Leaving your best friend for a stranger on their birthday??? Anyway AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
g6QKBPOJqTbcLOKAeRrbMN6OYtLNbkzT
|
b7tas8
|
{
"description": "confronting my girlfriend about rarely messaging me",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA if I confronted my girlfriend about rarely messaging me?
|
So I know that there was a post about relationships recently but hopefully this is unique enough. So I [20F] and my girlfriend [18F] are in a long-distance relationship, with me living in America and her in New Zealand. She's in her first year of pre-med at university so of course, she's busy. I totally understand that going to class and studying takes priority. But yesterday she told me that she went clubbing the night before. She didn't give me any indication that she was going to be busy and thus, she left in the middle of conversation. She never initiates our conversations, no matter how long I wait for her to. So is this her being really busy and having fun with her friends and I'd be TA for calling her out on it or is she not giving me the attention I deserve and she's TA?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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|
WRONG
|
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|
ay48cx
|
{
"description": "not wanting to go to a political debate",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting to go to a political debate?
|
First, yes I’m very political and use to work in politics. I now work in a different field but still stay in the political loop.
It is election seasons in my city and mayor is one of them. Personally, I can’t stand the current mayor and know who I am voting for already. My candidate has been very helpful with my neighborhood and she’s a friend due to her helpfulness. Books are closed on the decision.
My husband, who didn’t grow up political or with most the benefits I did, really likes her too and wants to support her. Great. So I come home two days ago and he asks if I want to go to the televised debate. No - my mind is made up and I know how uninteresting this debate will be to me personally. He says, well I told her yes and we have two tickets for it Wednesday night.
UGH. I hate wednesdays. And this doesn’t help. Not to mention as I’ve gotten older, I want to be home and in bed. And on Thursday we have a slammed evening of socializing too.
So now, it’s cold out, I don’t really have a warm outfit proper for this event (I don’t even have a heavy coat because.... Florida), and I am going to have to fight traffic for an hour to get there, sit bored out of my
mind for two hours and get home late. And I gotta wash my hair.
If we don’t go, it looks bad. If he goes alone, it looks bad. But I really don’t want to go. His need to rub elbows with people is a pain in my ass.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
TVu3kbc3eQUd4M5Q7AbczBFewWjQ5VdX
|
a1vb5p
|
{
"description": "not wanting my friends to talk about their periods to me",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not wanting my friends to talk about their periods to me
|
I live with a female friend who I consider close like a cousin. She's a lot more open about her emotions than I am, and I don't mind listening to her talk, so we have a good dynamic. She has talked to me about her period in the past and it's always made me a little uncomfortable but I've never said anything because I don't want her and my friends to think I'm immature. I never really have a response to hearing about how people are on their periods besides 'oh' or '..that sucks'.
I know it's 2018 and men are apparently not allowed to be grossed out by periods anymore. But I'm trans and the female reproductive system makes me hella dysphoric. I've wanted to have my reproductive organs removed since I was young and I've always been disgusted by the idea of pregnancy and childbirth. Now that I live fully as male I want 0% of anything to do with it.
I have been spending a lot of time with another friend who is going to move into town. They are trans non-binary but have been talking to me a lot about their period and it's making me way more uncomfortable than when my female friend did it. They seem unbothered by the association of something pretty explicitly female like the functions of the female reproductive system, and don't feel the need to hide it from me. Not just mentioning it in passing, but talking about it multiple times a day and about detailed stuff like their cramps and being worried about leaking.
I honestly don't know what they want me to say about it. Why do they want to talk to me about their bodily fluids? It's way to personal. I don't talk to anyone about the way I poop, why would I want to hear about your uterus wall lining shedding and discharging? The only reason I can think of that they feel the need to talk about it to me is that they think that I can understand and sympathize because I'm trans, and expect me to show empathy from experience. That is what really makes me uncomfortable. I stopped menstruating when I transitioned to male and I'm not interested in revisiting those experiences ever again. I don't want to be part of this female bonding ritual of empathizing about your periods. I feel like they are not granting me the same respect they would other men, by expecting me to understand and be ok with it, they aren't seeing me as a 'real man', but as some sort of man-lite or safe/non-toxic man because of my trans status. Or are my friends just letting off steam because they are frustrated and in pain, and they trust me enough to tell me about it? Am I being immature for not wanting to hear about it?
I haven't done anything yet, but I'm considering asking them point blank to just don't talk about their periods to me. I might do this next time they barrage me with private information about their body that I didn't ask for.
WIBTA if I asked my friends to stop talking about their periods to me now, after I've given little indication that I'm uncomfortable with it?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
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"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
Txied6MzotTwy5mprJWolavM1C0oTRtS
|
al33lt
|
{
"description": "not paying for this app",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for not paying for this app?
|
Brace up, this is going to be a weird ride.
TL;DR: I got an earthquake warning app that sometimes gives false positives, which scare some of my coworkers. I could get the paid version to get rid of false positives, but I make a matter of principle to not pay for apps.
I live in Mexico City, which was hit by two strong earthquakes in late 2017. After that, most people got at least a bit traumatized. Every time we get an earthquake warning we get almost triggered because... well, earthquakes.
Now, a couple months ago I downloaded an app that is linked to a seismograph network and gives you a warning one or two minutes in advance of an earthquake so you can get to a safe place.
The problem is that the app has two levels of warnings: One for earthquakes in general, and another for earthquakes strong enough to cause damage.
Of course, the first ones are a lot more common. Once or twice a month my cellphone will go off with a loud warning of "Earthquake detected, low intensity". In a year or so, I've never had a warning of an earthquake that poses actual danger.
That means everytime the alarm goes off me and my coworkers (if I'm at work) get a bit of a scare until the "low intensity" part comes through. Again, this happens around once or twice a month.
I personally think it's better to have a lot of false positives than a single false negative, so I put up with that. However, some of my coworkers think the scares are not worth it. And the city has an earthquake warning system throug high volume speakers that, in theory, gives you a similar level of warning than the app. I just want the extra level of security here.
Now, there is an option: The paid version of the app allows you to only receive warnings about earthquakes that are actually dangerous. But first of all, I don't like getting apps I have to pay for, as a matter of principle. And second, I think Google already has enough of my information to give them my finnancial information as well. So, I am entirely against paying for the app.
So... is it wrong if I'm willing to put up with some false positive but my coworkers are not so okay with that? Should I do without the app or pay for it?
TL;DR: I got an earthquake warning app that sometimes gives false positives, which scare some of my coworkers. I could get the paid version to get rid of false positives, but I make a matter of principle to not pay for apps.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
h9nDDjGHBS6rbaE5YNQbwVDwHNyxv2AD
|
a0605g
|
{
"description": "using comic sans to reply to my ex-wife",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA because I use comic sans to reply to my ex-wife?
|
I am recently divorced and my ex is still an last-word, overbearing control freak. I am minimizing my communication with her because after 25 years, if I never speak to her again I wont care. Hitch is we have mutual custody of a son and must maintain some level of communication.
If I format all my answers to her emails in comic sans it amuses me because I;m pretty sure she doesnt really know the font and wont get the fact that I am using it to mock her. Thoughts?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 0,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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|
WRONG
|
3TU1UR2auSyJQaHstxc6J7e1RikoBndD
|
a13dfh
|
{
"description": "getting pretty fucking sick of my cousins",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For getting pretty fucking sick of my cousins.
|
So my extended family recently moved and are now basically neighbors with us, they used to live in another country. And now they and they're two kids, which I'll just give age ranges for anonymity sakes. (5-6 y/o boy, and 9-10 y/o Girl) The older girl is fairly well tempered and just occasionally gets a little annoying, to be expected, don't really mind her, she's cool. The other fucking kid though. This kid will SCREAM over anything, Has no respect for my space, even if I specifically tell him not go in my room, he doesn't give a shit, he's a whiney spoilt little shit, Entitled as fuck, lies, throws a tantrum when things don't go his way, I know I'm literally describing a 5 year old boy, but he's just so manipulative that just his presence irks me a little. I can't REALLY expect him to be different I guess, but the issue starts where they're here, EVERY-FUCKING-DAY. And I get back home from classes at like 7pm ish. And I don't wanna come home to screaming little shits, with the house in chaos with toys everywhere. I'm 18 years old for full context, I try to be mature and just let it slide and ignore it, but every now and then I lose it a little, and get a little pissy with them. I also feels it's on the parents a little bit for not taking into account how it affects me or my own parents. AITA For getting tilted with how often I see my cousins?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
QWrjp6zUOXolR9uZjFTRIh74HY38gAI1
|
a4y3yw
|
{
"description": "feeling entitled to an iPhone XS",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for feeling entitled to an iPhone XS?
|
I'm moving back to the States from working abroad the past few years. I now need a phone and a plan. I'm going to add a line to my dad's family plan and pay him per month because it is a lost cheaper than getting an individual plan. The phone company had a special for the past few weeks, where if you add a new line you can get a brand new 128gb iPhone 7 for $150 ($50 up front for taxes and then $4.16/month for 24 months because they give you the $21 credit/month). I would own the phone full and clear after that.
​
I was going to buy the phone a week ago and then my dad tells me to wait because they are going to switch carriers. Long story short, today he tells me they aren't switching. Now the deal is gone and the same iPhone 7 would cost $18/month ($600). He tells me not to worry because he is going to upgrade to the iPhone XS. Right now there is a deal where if you upgrade a line and add a line (my line) you there is a buy one get one free deal with the iPhone XS (they give you a $31 credit/month to pay for it so it is free).
​
He then tells me that his wife is going to take the free phone (which they are only eligible for because of the line I will start paying for) and I can pay her the trade in value to take her 2 year old iPhone 7 32gb. She owes $163 on it.
​
I got frustrated. No yelling or anything like that. I just told him that it is annoying because I'd asked him about this for 2 weeks and they procrastinated and now they want me to pay them more money for a 2 year old phone with nearly 100gb less space than I would have for the brand new phone. Also, they are getting a free $1000 phone because I am paying for a new line.
​
AITA for feeling entitled to either getting the used iPhone 7 for free or feel entitled to the XS phone?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
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}
|
WRONG
|
3knVWeLusfLec1wbAtBRWOXKJG4MQc1G
|
azbct6
|
{
"description": "'being around half-naked girls' even though my girlfriend doesn't want me to",
"pronormative_score": 470,
"contranormative_score": 14
}
|
AITA for 'being around half-naked girls' even though my girlfriend doesn't want me to?
|
Notice the quotation marks, since those are Sarah's (my girlfriend) words, not mine.
So, I'm a competitive swimmer, and recently some kids at my school have started a water polo team, and asked me to join. I said sure, since all my clubs (FBLA, Investing Club, DECA) ended a few weeks ago. It's not too serious as of now, and is more of just a fun thing, I guess. For example, a lot of guys are just wearing normal swim trunks, and a lot of girls are just wearing bikinis, even though that's not the official uniform.
And that's where the problem comes in. Sarah is a bit insecure of this, and doesn't like that I'm spending every day after school playing water polo with a bunch of fit, half-naked girls.
So she asked me to quit. I just said I'm not going to, for a few reasons:
1) Water polo is really fun
2) I need to practice swimming in the off-season, and a water polo is a novel, more fun way of doing it than just swimming laps.
3) Her demands are ridiculous and I don't think she should control what I can or can't do because of her jealousy. I don't tell her, for example, not to hang out with her guy friends. So I don't see why should be able to order me around.
I feel like both of us just can't see the other side's logic, so aita?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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"INFO": 10
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 14
}
|
RIGHT
|
DUdUWtGtBLaB6BwjC2pwgWPa1W8zpMqE
|
av92ln
|
{
"description": "blocking a friend of 3 yrs because they got mad I stopped talking to them for a day",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for blocking a friend of 3 yrs because they got mad I stopped talking to them for a day?
|
So background on this:
I have dated this person twice in the past. The first time was 2 years ago and then again from September to January. Neither time was very long, but we do have a connection that I havent really found with anyone else. He also lives on the other side of the country so we rarely see each other in person and because of that he seems pretty attached to me in texts. I also started at a new college this semester and he started school this semster too.
Okay, so it was Feb. 14th and school had just started getting super busy and we had been broken up for over a month at this point. I was struggling to balance my school work and making new friends here and I had not talked to him in about 24 hours. At this point he sent me a paragraph saying that he was upset that I had not messaged him for a day and that I was not being considerate of his needs. I got irritated and told him that I didn't have time to deal with the issues right then, which set him off to write several more paragraphs about how I was going to move on with some other guy and never talk to him. Now I was very frustrated because this is something that he had done a lot while we were dating, and I had to turn off my location so he wouldn't get upset when I was not in my dorm. I snapped and told him I couldn't deal with him anymore and this was my busiest week of the semester so far and blocked him on snapchat. An hour later he called, and when I didn't pick up, texted me saying he just wanted to talk for a minute. I did not respond, and then he continued to dm me on Instagram, discord, and call me on skype over the course of the next few weeks. He has also reached out to my friend to try to figure out . He has been sending me multiple dms on Instagram about 4 times a week and is saying I am dead to him for hurting him like this and then begging me to talk to him again. He has been counting the days since I've talked to him and saying that hes having awful nightmares because of what I did, and that I never cared about him and I've been endlessly lying.
I have not responded to any of his messages or calls since I blocked him, and i feel like it would be petty to block him on everything, but mean to just keep ignoring him like I am. Thoughts?
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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a31sju
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{
"description": "quitting a board game",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA For quitting a board game?
|
Me and my usually gaming group were playing terraforming mars. For those that don’t know what that is the basic goal is to terraform mars and end with as many victory points as possible. Part of the gameplay includes things called generations where everyone takes turns going in a circle playing cards and using abilities. You go around as many times as you can until everyone passes and then the next generation begins. This was a bad game for me. Early on i drew basically only late game cards and mid game i drew cards that didnt do anything for me. About half way through the game i knew i had lost but i kept playing anyway. Then when the last generation started there was only two things i could do which were to build a city and a greenery. At this point I was upwards of 20vp behind everyone else and figured that there was not too much of a point in playing those two things so i passed my turn and let them finish up the game and went to play with the hosts cat since at that point i would have just been watching them play. When i did this i was scolded for being “that person” who quits the game when he knows that he has lost and everyone got really pissy with me. AITA for not staying at the table and finishing that last bit of the game?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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adcc38
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{
"description": "not wanting to talk to my ex-boyfriend while walking the halls in school or seeing him in class",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For not wanting to talk to my ex-boyfriend while walking the halls in school or seeing him in class.
|
Hi, guys! I find myself in a pretty shitty situation and I'm not entirely sure if I am being an asshole or not. Here's the situation I find myself in.
First a little backstory...
I met my ex-boyfriend at my then thirteen year old sister's summer soccer league tournament (she turned fourteen in November). He was a few months from turning eighteen and was becoming a high school senior. I was just starting high school toward the end of August and had just turned fifteen a couple of weeks before. His game ended an hour before I met him and my sister's team took the field. He came over and introduced himself. He said about his sister playing on the same team as my sister and we struck up a friendship right there while watching our younger siblings play. We ended up seeing each other on a regular basis after that. We started the school year in August and we really didn't see bunches of each other besides at lunch when we'd sit at a table together but we'd get together after our respective practices (his being soccer and me for cheerleading and softball on the weekend).
We kept this up for the next four months where we'd do stuff together and be boyfriend/girlfriend. Eventually I'd lose my virginity to him thinking he was such a great guy. Granted we would fight...but it was nothing too serious and any issues we did have would be resolved pretty quickly.
That would change around Christmastime...
A few days before Christmas break, we were sitting in the cafeteria eating lunch when he said to me about having to go to another city in our state to visit family for Christmas. I told him that it was fine and that we were having family over from out of state and out of the country (Japan) for Christmas. We agreed to do our gift exchange on Friday night and I'd sleepover at his place. We did the exchange Saturday morning before they left to head north. I got him the game Pro Evolution Soccer for his PS4 because he had said about wanting to play that since he's played so much FIFA and he wanted to try PES. He got me a couple of cheaper necklaces and a bunch of cheaper bracelets and anklets (some of which I wear on a pretty regular basis) which I thought was so cute. I left his place about an hour and a half before they were supposed to leave. We texted when he got to where he was going later in the day and we texted and talked on other social media clear up to Christmas evening. The 26th we didn't get to talk because we were busy with other family and I was busy talking with my cousins that I never met before from Japan. The girls and I were up until 3 in the morning talking and drinking 7up and sparkling grape juice in the spa. The morning of the 27th, I didn't wake up until 10 in the morning which is late for me. My texts had blown up asking me if I had seen what was going on, on facebook, twitter, instagram and snapchat. I didn't know what they were talking about. So I looked at my socials...and my now ex broke up with me over social media. Not only did he break up with me...he blocked me on all the social medias I had him friended on. I texted him and he told me that he didn't want to hook up with me anymore and wanted to hook up with a new sophomore cheerleader on the varsity squad. I was devestated. I cried and was sad for several days. I finally started feeling better around New Year's Eve and even went for a shopping spree with my cousins and sisters and I even got dreadlocks! January 2nd rolled around and we had to go back to school. I was glad to see my friends from school and just wanted to get back into the swing of school. My ex tried to talk to me several times but I kept ignoring him on the advice of some of my closest friends and my eldest sister. Finally, Friday, he decided to confront me asking me what my fucking problem was and why I was being such a bitch and not talking to him. I told him that I didn't want to be associated with someone who only decides to break up with someone over the internet instead of doing it face-to-face. He called me a bitch and an asshole. I continued to not talk to him for the rest of the day.
Am I the asshole for not talking to him after how he broke up with me?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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a0g1g1
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{
"description": "bringing up cheating rumors to my friend before his wedding without ALSO (or first) confronting his fiancé",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for bringing up cheating rumors to my friend before his wedding without ALSO (or first) confronting his Fiancé?
|
Background: I (male) am good friends with both parties here. I’ve been friends with my buddy since Elementary school, and have been friends with his now-Wife for the last 6 or so years they’ve been together.
They got married last year. During the Bachelorette party and festivities surrounding it, some potential emotional infidelity came to light concerning the bride-to-be, as reported by my two sisters (who are also fairly well in our friend group and who were at said festivities). The bride-to-be had friends visiting from out of town, and her sister – all of them are close, open with each other. It came out that the bride-to-be has been seeing a guy friend she met from an indoor soccer league far more than anyone really knew. She had mentioned it, but the extent it went to was not known – hanging out multiple times a week (alone), talking on the phone for hours, etc. Then, everyone went out dancing at the clubs one night, guy friend was present, and some intense dancing with/ kissing of Mr. Guy Friend commenced.
I should note a few things: 1. My buddy and his now-wife are very independent. They give each other space to kind of just let each other do their own things, be out with friends, etc. without checking in too often. They spend a lot of time together as well. IMO it’s a very healthy relationship and I believe strongly they love each other and wouldn’t jeopardize that. 2. His wife is very flirty, open sexually, and even a mild exhibitionist. Husband is not, but he is fine with her behavior. We all are used to it.
After Kissing Night happened, my sisters told me everything, and said I needed to let my buddy know. They were not close enough to him to tell him themselves. They seemed convinced that she had cheated (beyond emotional infidelity), though didn’t have any “proof”. They know the bride-to-be’s sister was uncomfortable with everything that was going on, which was a red flag. My mom got involved too, she has known my buddy for years. I resisted initially – I lean heavily on the side of keeping people’s secrets. Plus, I don’t know what arrangement the two of them had. Who am I to judge a “hall pass” situation, or anything of the like? My family was strongly convinced though that this was not right, and that my buddy didn’t know, and the bride-to-be was uncharacteristically shy about detailing anything about Mr. Guy Friend.
I ultimately decided to tell my buddy. Potential cheating or the behavior that could lead to it in the future was worth telling someone before marriage. But, AITA for not bringing it up to the bride-to-be first? She was also my friend… but for some reason I told my buddy first. He was aware of Mr. Guy Friend, but barely, and only strictly as a friend. I told him everything I knew, noting that IMO a lot of it was speculation, but was still worth him knowing. He didn’t seem surprised per se, or honestly much else other than calm, and asked that I keep it on the DL, lest the wedding be in jeopardy. I asked him if I could talk to the bride-to-be and let her know I told him, but he insisted he did not want me to talk to her, that he would talk to her about it and that was how he wanted it handled. So that was that. They got married, and things have been peachy ever since.
Except recently it came up that the now-wife, my friend, has been secretly holding a grudge against my sisters and I for this, and specifically for not coming to her first. I am considering telling her everything, that this wasn’t my idea, but especially that I was specifically asked not to talk to her about it. I guess… I’m feeling a little guilty for violating her trust.
**So Reddit – Would you tell her, and… AITA?**
TL;DR – Potential emotional (or beyond) infidelity comes to light during bachelorette party. I am recruited to tell the husband-to-be. Things blow over, life goes on as normal, but recently it comes up the wife, also my friend, has been holding a grudge against me for telling her husband.
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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avyl3i
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{
"description": "not letting my wife work a 'spend the night' nanny job",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 11
}
|
AITA for not letting my wife work a ‘spend the night’ nanny job?
|
For context my wife is a part time worker Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday for like 3-5 hours. Every other day she is off. I make enough money for us to live comfortably and he money goes 100% to whatever she wants.
She was approached by an old client of hers,whom she used to babysit her kids before we got married and had a child of our own, to babysit from Monday starting at 2 til Tuesday 9 pm. It would involve spending the night because they will be out of town.
Now I work 11 hours a day including commute, sometimes more depending on what’s going on at work. We talked about it and I was adamant on her turning down the job because we don’t need the money and it would involve having her family babysit for an extended amount of time both Monday and Tuesday and my daughter will be sleeping with just me which she has never done before. She’s 1 btw.
AITA for not letting her work?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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|
WRONG
|
Qm7OzK7REgl7L2v7AzTMEeXtaQeBsXkl
|
b4kz4d
|
{
"description": "accidentally going into a diner near closing",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for accidentally going into a diner near closing?
|
Setting: New Year’s Day, greasy little diner that serves breakfast and lunch
Players: me, my boyfriend, our two friends
We walk in around 11:40-11:45 and are directed to seats by staff (this is important). The waitress (W) comes over, literally drops menus onto the table, and starts to walk away without saying a word. My friend asks her for coffees as W is turning away, and she just says, “Ok.” We thought that was rude, but whatever. We decide what we want quickly and, when W brings the coffee and my friend says we’re ready to order, W says, “Good.” Nothing else. Takes our orders in silence, takes our menus, no smile, no words, and walks away. We all can’t believe how unfriendly she’s being.
It’s 11:45-11:50 now. Someone else comes in and we hear staff (not W) say sorry, but they’re closing early for the holiday, and the new person leaves. Now W’s attitude makes more sense. We didn’t know we were coming in 20 minutes before closing, and we wouldn’t have stayed if we had known. If the staff who had welcomed us had told us, we would have found some other place to eat.
Our food came—again accompanied by sullen silence—and we ate as fast as possible and got out of there. We left about 12:10-12:15. The original staff person saw us out. We apologized for keeping them late, and she smiled and waved it off.
Here’s the question: Should we have left when we found out they were closing early? We already had coffee. Our food had been ordered but only just, so it wasn’t being prepared yet. Should we have cancelled the food, paid for the coffee, and left?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
VqcPuwWqFIelxLI5xsGDANv2K3YURTB5
|
b3ntia
|
{
"description": "being mad at my friend",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being mad at my friend?
|
Disclaimer: I'm not really "mad", just a little pissed so it's nothing too serious.
So, my friend and I are in 11th grade, we have a course system in school and unfortunately we don't have many classes together (only 2).
We usually have a class together on fridays, so I'm always looking forward to that, but recently our teacher has been sick for a couple of weeks, and usually if there is a class cancelled, we spend the time together until the next class starts.
It's like this: the class being cancelled is from 5th to 6th period, and after that I still have PE class, my friend has geography class.
But since our teacher has been sick, she always skips the last two lessons to go home early.
Maybe you see my problem. I can't go home early because PE class is kind of important for me, so I always have to wait about 2 hours for that. I always ask her to wait with me, as she has classes afterwards as well, but she just doesn't want to.
So, AITA for being a little mad at her for this?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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NOBODY
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RIGHT
|
MxYnSMvDwhVZHEj1EkHSe9rAkwgK89pl
|
b08wzo
|
{
"description": "not wanting to go on holiday with my family",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA; I don't want to go on holiday with my family?
|
Title says it all really. I was kind of forced into going on holiday with my Brother, sister and their partners, however I really don't want to go and would rather spend the week relaxing in the comfort of my own home.
My brother doesn't like plan changes - and usually gets very annoyed if I change simple plans like a trip to the cinema, so changing something like this he will probably lose his shit.
I'd be happy to pay off my share, I just don't want to go because truth be told I cannot tolerate them. I love them, but I dislike them as people, so AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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|
WRONG
|
fKhTSHItAUVEBbjWuYLp5yyONSwSyUzk
|
ahmtg2
|
{
"description": "feeling like my best friend doesn't care about me as much as I care about him",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for feeling like my best friend doesn't care about me as much as I care about him?
|
We've been very close for more than 2 years now. A few months back we started living in the same city after being apart for a year, and I was super excited and made all sorts of plans for the (8ish) months that our time here would overlap. We live around an hour from each other so weekends are the only time we can meet. During the first few months he was extremely busy and needed to be near his college even on weekends. So, I would usually travel there to spend time with him instead of vice versa. Not every weekend but usually twice a month. Once the hectic semester was done I expected him to come over to my place more often. But there was always some reason or the other that he could not make it. I'm nearing the end of my semester and I will leave the city soon so I consider each time together very important. Last weekend he said he'd come but completely forgot about it on the day. I was hurt and cried a lot on the phone with him because I'm really sad about leaving the city in general, I loved my life here and I'm going to miss everything, and I don't know if him and I will be living in the same city again in the near future.
So he promised he'd come the next day.
He forgot again.
He is generally a forgetful person and he had been having a rough few days.
I called and told him how hurt I was and he said that our friendship is something that he wants for a lifetime and that I shouldn't base my closeness with him on the basis of this event, and that if only I'd reminded him in the morning he'd have come for sure.
This weekend he came down with the flu and couldn't make it.
We'd probably get one more weekend together before I leave, given how busy my end semester will be, I'm not sure when and how.
I just feel really sad and I expressed that but now I've just let it go and I'm talking normally to him.
AITA for feeling like he doesn't care about me?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
PU7cyJBtFA7KfIx6Zh0JnyveYEKok0Uc
|
b8nvgp
|
{
"description": "wanting to leave my job without notice",
"pronormative_score": 22,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For wanting to leave my job without notice?
|
So, I am new to this sub and not sure if you guys are cool with posting about a situation actively progressing. Long story short I work in research, but am not a student. I followed my husband to a foreign nation that has labor laws preferential to hiring those with citizenship to that country. My boss jumped through a few difficult hoops to get permission from the government to hire me. That said, I am being expected to work double the hours I am being paid for and the pay is $4/hr under the national average for the tasks being completed. I am also actively being spoken down-to publicly for mistakes (at lab meeting), while being denied private meetings to discuss them. I put in my notice 2wks ago and my boss refused to accept it, citing that I "was needed". 1 week ago (during lab meeting) I was given a public dressing down that included phrases such as, "if you have to ask this question, you don't belong here" and told that I am still in training. I have been with this job for 8 months. 3:40 am. I am actively sitting in my office, prepping for today's Hell (lab meeting) and debating just packing up and going the fuck home. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
afcqiBxE7iL6Jolj7ssPQ56gcTWjQCJ4
|
adl48f
|
{
"description": "being upset with the girlfriend of a friend of mine",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being upset with the girlfriend of a friend of mine.
|
So last year me and my friend went to a festival and we really enjoyed it. So we decided we would go next (this) year again. A couple of weeks ago we reminded eachtother of the ticket sale that was going to start soon to make sure we were still going. Now his gf knows that we wanted to go and she knew what weekend it was. Now all of a sudden she planned a present for my friends bday exactly that weekend. She could have chosen all weekends since it isn't even close to his birthday but she chose the weekend of the festival. Basically claiming him. Am I the asshole for being upset about this?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
AWyBRN4MuQ5PwO38RHPbgeJ6itmRTPoR
|
b24s06
|
{
"description": "making a facebook account to tell a married woman her husband was sending me money and jewellery in exchange for sexual photos while I was a minor",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA if I made a facebook account to tell a married woman her husband was sending me money and jewellery in exchange for sexual photos while I was a minor.
|
I'm no longer a minor, and haven't had contact with him in 6+months.
When I was 16-17 I met a guy online who I grew to be friends with. He'd offer me gifts and money, and being young an naive I accepted. We were friends on Facebook- I've since deactivated- which is how I learnt he and his **wife** got **married in Disney land** while we were talking, and that she was **trying for a baby with IVF**. I found this especially shitty, as his wife (and I imagine him) dont have unlimited money and IVF is expensive. She could have spent several thousand trying for a baby with this man.
Again, being naive and admittedly an asshole I continued the exchange. Eventually last year aged 19 I cut him off, but not after sending him photos/videos for money.
I have email evidence he agreed to pay me for nude videos while I was an adult, but because I deleted facebook and the site I met him on since that's all I have.
I also have PayPal statements going back to when i was a minor that are undeniably from him.
It's now been months, and I've entered my own relationship and realise his wife deserves to know. I dont know if she's still on IVF or if they've managed to conceive yet. I dont even know if she'd believe me. It would definately take a huge toll on their marriage and I own up to my share of the guilt for continuing it after finding this out.
If it makes a difference what he's sent me has to total nearly $500, and he never pressured me into anything or held it above my head.
WIBTA if I made Facebook again to tell/show her evidence of her husband's financial/cyber affair?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
PEgI7LoC5CU9PfNqi8Of4YLVYveRW2Kb
|
b7vkow
|
{
"description": "reporting my roommate",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for reporting my roommate?
|
Let me start this off by saying my roommate and I have been friends since kindergarten, and I believe this is why she thinks she can act like this.
I go home about every other weekend and I have told her that its ok for our CLOSE friends to lay on my bed while watching movies, hanging out, ect. and if the need a place to sleep i have an under the bed space they can stay in. Keep in mind, these are our close friends only, it makes me uncomfortable when people I don’t know are in my space. I also made sure that she asked me before anyone stayed in our room. This is the second time she has let someone sleep in my bed and the third time she has done so without telling me. The worst part about this last time was that it was two guys I didnt know that were staying in our room and both were in my space. (After finding out I was also upset because it could have been a potentially dangerous situation for her considering they were all drunk)
I have already talked to her about it multiple times, but I feel like reporting her would make our relationship more crappy then it has been lately. Please help!!
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
jgAkF723ibTNBVGySAhYo8m7oAf9EXtn
|
afn2yj
|
{
"description": "being mean to my depressed friend",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being mean to my depressed friend?
|
So, my friend (17F) has problems with depression. She's cutting herself for I don't know how long. She never been like this, it all started when she met a girl who taught her to do drugs (she smoked pot before, but now I'm not sure what else she's into.) I live far from her, so there is not much I could do for her on daily basis, but I got really scared when she started to talk about suicide.
I'm not sure if she means it, it was always her kind of humor, but now? I sometimes hang out with her, many people do, so she's not alone, she can see that people care, but actually.. I don't know if they all really do. She spent her whole life in a small town, most of the problems began in the city, with those new friends, and I can't do anything about it.
Two weeks ago, she told me that she must correct some grades but she did not learn, because she "doesn't really care."
Well, yesterday we were texting and she was really angry about the fact that she didn't pass. She told me that it's making her feel even more like a piece of shit, and how she wants to just jump under the train, so I told her "So how about actually learning, everybody would feel this way if they would be so lazy." She did not respond. I know that I shouldn't have said that, I was never depressed so I don't know what she's going through, but I just think that there is always a limit.
PS: Now that I'm reading it, sorry, it's terribly written, all the "she" is giving me a headache but I don't know what can I use instead of it, my English is not that good.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
wsv4lGZ1rA5aZUFGXBq79Ss1NfXhguNZ
|
aezkil
|
{
"description": "setting multiple alarms in the morning in my college dorm",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 10
}
|
AITA for setting multiple alarms in the morning in my college dorm?
|
So I’m deaf in one ear, and sometimes I’ll find myself waking up sleeping on my one good ear, so I won’t be able to hear my alarm. So in order to fight this, I set 3 alarms in case I don’t wake up to the ones before it. I have class at 9:15am so I set the alarms for 8:30-8:45. The problem is when they go off, my roommate will call my cellphone and hang up immediately to put the phone into snooze mode. He does this with every alarm that rings and today I missed my class because of it (I also woke up and eventually found my phone in my desk drawer). And it isn’t that he needs sleep and needs to wake up later, because he has class the same time as me. I could ask him to wake me up when he gets up but that would make me feel like a burden. When I confronted him about him making me miss class he went silent, told me to stfu and that I move when the alarm goes off (he thinks that I’m awake and that I ignore the alarm? Which I have no recollection of because if I was awake I would turn it off) and he left the room. Do I need to sleep earlier so I don’t require an alarm in the morning? Or just set a singular alarm? Though he would just end up turning that one off, and I’d have nothing to wake up to. Am I in the wrong here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 6,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 10
}
|
RIGHT
|
1543s0kMsze34TnWw9sUfEA0km0ZWShF
|
auq48u
|
{
"description": "not siding with my friend",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not siding with my friend
|
I was having coffee with a Mom gal pal of mine. Her husband and my guy both work as chefs at the same business. It's one of those members-only club dealios. One of the servers has been there for 30+ years. He's established a shit ton of rapport with the guests after so many decades. The guests also like to give gifts whenever the mood strikes.
My Mom friend thinks it's unfair that he's always getting attention and gifts from the members. For example, a common gift will be tickets to an event, sport game, etc...
She feels upset because he'll share the tickets with his family instead of dispersing them among other employees, i.e. her husband. Her words were something along the lines of, "everyone else shares their gifts with the other employees, but He always just takes them for him and his family
I think it's just selfish."
Now, she is right that most of the other employees will share their gifts with other employees. However, usually when back of the house gets gifts its rarely ever to anyone in specific and just given to whomever hasn't enjoyed a perk yet. Also, most of the people she's referencing that shares their "gifts" are relatively new employees. I'm talking under 2 years. She also mentioned something along the lines of, "It's not fair because He works where he can talk directly to the members and (her husband) is always in the back."
Now, my responses to her have been things like, "first off, your husband is an executive sous chef. Even though the server has been there 30 years, your husband was hired on making a hefty salary, a lot more than that server. And that's the price of being a chef, you work back of house. Kinda hard to do your job if ya ain't in the kitchen. I could be wrong though. Also, if I was working there or anywhere for 30+ years, I would absolutely be sharing with my family. Instead of constantly sharing everything with employees who come and go. Our guys have only been there a year and a half at this point. Aaaand, we still get unexpected tickets to things. I think after 3 decades, he should be able to enjoy himself without having to explain anything."
I dont know. I've always been a firm believer that when there's any kind of gift giving from a customer to an employee, that entitlement really needs to take a back seat. I could be wrong. I just dont see why anyone would waste their time getting huffy over preferential treatment if you get to enjoy things sometimes too.
I dont know. Critique me, maybe I'm biased or ignorant or something *shrug*
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 5,
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
ZJ96Eg5WMoZbxqxQV5fSh10d5akXev0R
|
am3tpa
|
{
"description": "telling my friend her actions were shitty in this conversation",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA - For telling my friend her actions were shitty in this conversation
|
AITA - For telling my friend her actions were shitty in this conversation
​
Some backstory / context - said conversation takes place in an MMO in the situation where a guild has splintered due to differences in opinion - my friend went to support the other guild, I stayed with the original guild.
​
​
I am recruiting in chat when member(s) from the other guild say "Guild A is shit now", etc etc. -tldr- "Guild B" is upset at "Guild A" - I choose to ignore 99.99% of these messages, today I chose to respond with two words " Citation Needed " Following this - this conversation happens
​
​
​
Her: What is happening... <Officer of guild B> just sent me some screenshots
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Me: just your guild members unable to control themselves, nbd.
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Her: What? - the guys I see in trade are not from our guild
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Me: <John> is Right?
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Her: Yes.
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Me: and I'm sure the others are.
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Her: Yes is <John>, but <John was in <Guild A> until recently, I mean whatever happened we haven't influenced him - I don't know the other people and they don't have our <Guild A> tag.
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Me: technically yes, they don't have your guild tag but they are obviously affiliated
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Her: No, I asked him - not everyone that dislikes <Guild A> is from <Guild B>
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Me: I don't disagree, but not everyone knows the situation either to say that. (context - discussing more personal details of the split)
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Her: a lot of people know <Former Guild A founder>
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Her: also some people from your guild whispered <John>
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Me: Proof?
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Her: he said one was asking for citation.
&#x200B;
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Me: I did - linked screenshot with my exact message of " Citation Needed "
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Her: Yeah, he definitely hates you.
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Me: He's welcome to
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Her: But it's nothing to do with our guild...
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Me: He's a member of your guild? (Context - <John> is 100% a member of <Guild B> )
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Her: He joined a week ago, He was a member of your guild, you probably know better why, and the other guy isn't even a member
&#x200B;
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Me: I'll keep that excuse in mind for later, who else whispered <John> ?
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&#x200B;
Her: Don't come complaining to me about the people in my guild ( < Guild B > ) the only reason they are against <Guild A> is for whatever reason you gave them
&#x200B;
&#x200B;
Me: So you are blaming me & taking his word without any proof?
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Her: I just think you should not say things that way.
&#x200B;
&#x200B;
Me: Also, I didn't come complaining to you, and say things what way exactly? - you messaged me?
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Her: "just your guild members unable to control themselves nbd"
&#x200B;
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Me: To reply to your message, what reason have I given them ( to be against us ) what have I or anyone in <Guild A> done to them.
&#x200B;
&#x200B;
Her: Well there are ways to say this & that feels aggressive, you probably know...what do I know??
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&#x200B;
Me: " The only reason they are against <Guild A is for whatever reason you gave them " - would imply they have a legitimate reason that you also believe
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&#x200B;
Her: Maybe they do.
&#x200B;
&#x200B;
Me: Ok, as I've said before I don't really mind being the bad guy but I'd prefer any accusation to come with proof, if someone in <Guild A> who "joined a week ago" started shit talking /any/ other guild I'd kick them on the spot, with evidence. it's bad PR, like with a company or restaurant.
&#x200B;
&#x200B;
Her: You are not a customer & he is free to express his opinions, I understand that to say that in general is not ok but first this is not my guild & second he has been angry at <Guild A since he joined & this is not the first time I told you, maybe the rule of kicking alts or whatever you are doing is backfiring. I don't know & I am not going to kick anyone out of the guild for that...keep in mind when <Paul> did <bad action> to <former Guild A founder/Susan> & you being an officer no one moved a finger...and you are chastising me for not kicking someone that Your guild made angry...? I don't think so.
&#x200B;
&#x200B;
Me: if that's how you want your guild to be represented, sure - I'm not chastising you & I'm saying "you" in reference to <Guild B> not you personally.
&#x200B;
&#x200B;
Me: - I link the rules specifically stated in the <Guild B> Charter: -
&#x200B;
&#x200B;
Be warned this is not <Guild A> so shall not speak of them in this guild, we are not a part of them anymore and we shall not try to dare talk bad about them either keep in mind this is just a game, if any of their members try to badmouth you or this guild, report it to an Officer or Lowcat and we will take care of the situation, for the people with friends there its fine they are your friends
Guild Rules
1.) Be polite! We are done with toxic players in the game; we are friendly.
&#x200B;
&#x200B;
Me: at what point did I ask you to kick him?
&#x200B;
&#x200B;
Me: I was rebutting your excuse with the values of my guild, <Guild A> - I care about the representation of <Guild A>, if you don't care about <Guild B> that's fine, nbd.
&#x200B;
&#x200B;
Her: what does that even mean?
&#x200B;
&#x200B;
Me: no big deal
&#x200B;
&#x200B;
Her: Yea I see that, " I was rebutting your excuse with my values I care about the represenation of <Guild A>". Saying this is not right
&#x200B;
&#x200B;
Me: Why? - /you/ messaged me & proceeded to do nothing but make excuses for <John of Guild B> about /their/ fuck up - I would not do the same.
&#x200B;
&#x200B;
Her: Because it's hypocritical & implies your guild has better values which is not true
&#x200B;
&#x200B;
Me: How is it hypocritical?
&#x200B;
&#x200B;
Her: Very
&#x200B;
&#x200B;
Me: And we do.
&#x200B;
&#x200B;
Her: Lol
&#x200B;
&#x200B;
Me: How is it hypocritical? - when you say "it has nothing to do with our guild" in regards to <John of Guild B>
&#x200B;
&#x200B;
Her: I think this is a problem called "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye" "
&#x200B;
&#x200B;
Me: Like your mad over how I replied to you, but I don't really care about the actions of <Guild B>
&#x200B;
&#x200B;
Her: there are plenty of those people in <Guild A> but starting with <Paul> that harassed <Susan> & <Sax> how does that present your guild?
&#x200B;
&#x200B;
Me: What of <Susan> & <Sax> behavior? and the others?
&#x200B;
&#x200B;
Her: You Tell me
&#x200B;
&#x200B;
Me: would it be ok for me to message every member of <Guild B> " Fuck <Guild B>, <Sax> is shit " ?
aside from <Paul> - not one member of <Guild A> has said a god damn thing to anyone in <Guild B>.
&#x200B;
&#x200B;
Her: No, I but at least I'm not going to you saying my guild has better values.... Pff
For a person that just joined 1 week ago and you guys made mad, Wtf <Me>
&#x200B;
&#x200B;
Me: "You guys made mad"
&#x200B;
&#x200B;
Her: Yes
&#x200B;
&#x200B;
Me: why are you taking him at his word?
I imagine you'd have brought it up to me, if I actually did something to him. but I can count on one hand the number of interactions I've had w/ <John>
&#x200B;
&#x200B;
Her: Because he is entitled to his own opinion... Just as you told me when <Susan> thingy happened... Right?
&#x200B;
&#x200B;
Me: except I have a detailed history, with screenshots of the "<Susan> situation"
and the interpretation of the situation might be a difference of opinion
but record exists that can be cited.
"<Me> bullied me out of the guild"
is hearsay
&#x200B;
&#x200B;
Her: Maybe in his opinion you did. Maybe I should not share anymore information with you. It obviously puts me in disadvantage here
&#x200B;
&#x200B;
Me: Feelings are not valid sources
&#x200B;
&#x200B;
Her: who says that, when <Susan> felt disrespected & left was that an invalid reason? was mine too?
&#x200B;
&#x200B;
Me" "the sky is blue" "no I feel that it is orange"
is not a valid statement
"I feel like x is a shitty person" "why?" "I just feel that way" "oh ok, I accept that, with no further questioning / proof required "
"x stole my bike" you say to the police
"ok, do you have proof it was your bike, say the police"
if we operated on your logic
I could just go say every car is mine
to the police
because I feel it is.
&#x200B;
&#x200B;
Her: Ok you just lost it.
&#x200B;
&#x200B;
Me: In addition, you are telling me without proof that his word is > mine, which is pretty neat
&#x200B;
&#x200B;
Her: How many times I said "I don't know" I feel you just want to argue at this point in for any reason
&#x200B;
&#x200B;
Me: " " the only reason they are against <Guild A> is for whatever reason you gave them "
&#x200B;
&#x200B;
Her: Yes and I don't know what reason, I it might be <Victor> kicking their alts/discord... Or whatever
&#x200B;
&#x200B;
Me: Ok
&#x200B;
&#x200B;
Me: " also some people from your guild whispered <John> " - can you provide proof? "
&#x200B;
&#x200B;
Me: You can either provide proof, or apologize - if people in my guild acted out of line I'll actually discipline them.
&#x200B;
&#x200B;
Me: But I feel your actions are pretty shitty, in attacking me & making excuses for your guild member. but if that's how you want to be. that's fine. hypocritical. but fine.
&#x200B;
&#x200B;
Her: My actions are pretty shitty right...
&#x200B;
&#x200B;
Me: Look at this conversation from the top, I was literally minding my own busines
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
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}
|
WRONG
|
LnmzrWMiaatIn7m22MPmOIAXOJLr9r2X
|
a9y3ds
|
{
"description": "being irritated with my friend for dumping her relationship troubles on me",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for being irritated with my friend for dumping her relationship troubles on me?
|
I know there’s a debate on whether FEELING something makes one the asshole, but I plan on going into therapy when I get older and I’m probably going to hear a lot of crazy and unreasonable stuff. It’s just that I don’t want to make this behavior okay in the present when it will not be in the future. So, do I need to change my way of thinking, or allow myself to feel whatever I want to feel?
So, I’m in a group of friends (4 Fs) on campus. Recently we added another member (M) to our group. One of the old members (let’s call her Laura) has a crush on the new guy (Matt). It’s obvious Matt likes her back. They have a lot in common, they’ve taken to teasing/play-fighting with each other pretty quickly, and they stay up all the time talking to each other. They have both discreetly admitted that they’re too afraid to do/say something.
Laura has been expressing to the rest of us that she’s too stressed for a relationship (her first one) and might want to have a go with Matt in a few months. But she interprets the group’s encouragement as peer pressure which adds to her stress. I have so so so so so so so so SO many times told her that she can move at her own pace, no one is SERIOUSLY forcing her to make a move. It’s getting to the point where I’m ignoring her “whines” when she vents to us ladies over text. Tonight my phone kept going off while I was driving with her cries of help. Apparently instead of waiting like she said she wanted to do, Laura texted Matt her feelings. I think it’s great that she did that so Matt’s not hanging, but why did it take 50 messages for me to receive this information? OR, why didn’t she just wait until she was ready, or for Matt to say something (he has also never been in a relationship), instead of piling up her stress?
I am pretty sure I can hold back my irritation with some humor, but should I be irritated in the first place?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
WRONG
|
vUhFWWVZT4RgMF2kXebFdJqMqSl6qwZw
|
a5ekyx
|
{
"description": "being mad my sister seemingly doesn't care that I'm home from school",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being mad my sister seemingly doesn't care that I'm home from school?
|
I'm a junior in college, my sister is a senior in high school.
&#x200B;
I got home from school for winter break on Sunday. My sister was out when I got home, so I didn't see her, and I ended up going to bed before she got back. Monday, she left for school before I woke up, so I didn't see her then either, nor did I see her that evening because she was working (note that I have not left my house since I got here). During this time, I didn't hear from her at all - the last meaningful communication I had with her was a couple weeks ago, when she texted asking if my boyfriend would buy weed for her friend group.
&#x200B;
Fast forward to this afternoon. I am at home alone (entire family is at work/school) when I hear someone *pounding* on the window of our front door. It's my sister and her boyfriend, who just pulled up after leaving school early. This is the first time I have seen her since I got home. I let them in and say, "Dude, where's your house key? You freaked me out." My sister responds aggressively, "I *left* it in my *room.*" I try to make some half-assed joke about her driving around with out a house key on her key ring, which prompts her to yell "*SUCK MY FUCKING DICK, OKAY?*" immediately before going upstairs to her room.
&#x200B;
Needless to say, I have been in a bit of a shit mood since then, as it really hurt my feelings that my little sister does not apparently care at all about seeing me for the first time in months. She asked me why I seemed so "grumpy" as I was cleaning up the kitchen after dinner, and I explained to her that I was mad that she has either been ignoring me or actively being mean to me. She responded by going off on me for not being understanding of her busy schedule, saying that I could not have possibly expected her to say hi to me last night when she got home from work because she needed to go to bed (she got home at 9:30 PM and, while I do not know exactly what happened, I really doubt that she went straight to bed). I rolled my eyes at that, but said okay, and she once again immediately stormed off to her room after yelling, "You can roll your eyes all you want but you're still a dick!"
&#x200B;
So AITA for calling her out and saying that she upset me? Or for my reaction to her excuse? Or for not saying hi to her when I first opened the door? She's clearly pissed at me but I really feel like she has zero reason to be mad, especially when it seems to me that she was the dick in the first place. Enlighten me, please!
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
CtQ0zyOxGjmoBDYmeyEkrBbJuxX02bRX
|
b2wv2z
|
{
"description": "not wanting my friend to cheat off me",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not wanting my friend to cheat off me???
|
I sit next to one of my best friends in my marketing class. I’m pretty good at that class (average like a B on quizzes and tests), and she really tends to struggle and fails nearly every assignment. Lately, I’ve noticed that she has been cheating off me on the quizzes and tests. I kinda want to call her out for it, and tell her that it really bothers me, but I’d feel like an asshole cause it’s not really harming MY grade if she cheats off me, so why should I care right?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
OOxzRhqYNskMNZBUX90ps5joTRc3LrPC
|
b00bha
|
{
"description": "not wanting to host my best friend's babyhower #5",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to host my best friend's babyhower #5?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
|
bCrm3TSHSwjicOFggGYsp1hkVrMaxE8B
|
awgmrm
|
{
"description": "not attending the final ride out for a biking friend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not attending the final ride out for a biking friend
|
I am an avid biker, don't drive a car, never have. I Lost a friend to a motorbike crash on Monday and haven't been able to face riding a bike since. My best friend is giving me shit saying he would have wanted you there and the rest. I just can't bring myself to throw a leg over, mostly because i am scared. I am attending the funeral service, and going for a drink afterwards but can't shake feeling like an asshole.
Thanks
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
ng8eBmfpnAjuaf1n8a0xA6RGZ1UvoFpG
|
arad6z
|
{
"description": "staying out late after telling my girlfriend I could be home early",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for staying out late after telling my girlfriend I could be home early
|
My girlfriend (25 year old female) and I (23 year old male) got in a bit of a fight last night. It was a Friday night and she worked the next day so she had decided to stay in for the night after 9 and I had plans with some friends. We live together and I try not to leave her alone on these nights because she also has trouble falling asleep alone. On this particular night I had called her to check if she wanted to come out for a bit and she said no because of work but said she understood it was a Friday and that she wouldn’t expect me home and that we could spend tomorrow together. This is usually how approach Fridays unless she really needs me to stay in or is feeling anxious. Anyways later in the night around midnight she texted me asking where I was. I was in the middle of deciding whether to stay out or come home and I was leaning towards just coming home and texted her saying I’d be home in 30 minutes. I realize I shouldn’t have said something like that before I was sure that was my plan. within 1 minute I sent a text saying she should try to go to bed and that I may stay out for a bit longer than 30 minutes. She had texted me immediately after my first text saying she was glad because she had watched a scary movie and that she wanted me home, but after seeing my follow up text thought I was just throwing her to the side for something else that came up. She called me and as I explained I was just going to be out for a little longer she got angry and hung up. I tried to call her back and felt bad so I was trying to just tell her I would come home in 30 minutes but she ignored both my calls so I basically said fuck it and stayed out for an hour. A full hour and 15 minutes after our original conversation at the bar I was home and she was frustrated feeling I had tossed her to the side to stay out and she said I should post it on reddit so here we are. My question isn’t should I have communicated better I definitly shouldn’t have told her 30 minute .My question is Am I the Asshole for texting her back trying to correct it and staying out for an hour when our original plan was for me to be out all night?
She is an amazing person and I love her not looking for anything bad about her really just want to know if I’m being an Asshole.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
P118PDGHlhIHTQJ5varf7doqO2KGQX6b
|
anvv70
|
{
"description": "not wanting to talk to my ex-gf",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to talk to my ex-gf?
|
First off I’m on mobile so sorry if there’s any formatting errors or anything like that. Secondly I’m sorry for the long read, tl;dr at the bottom.
I dated my ex for two years, through junior and senior years of high school and then a little into college. We had a great relationship. Minimal arguments and the ones we had were solved in mature ways, healthy time spent together and not trying to get in the way of each other’s friendships, understanding that time had to be spent with other people, great memories made etc.
After we got to college the distance really affected us. We’re both collegiate athletes, and with sports, classes, social lives, and time zone differences, it became really hard to get the time to talk that we wanted. We lost a fair bit of communication, and it really did take a toll on the relationship.
Eventually she started doing things that I thought were counterproductive to her being successful (I know, this sounds like something an asshole would say, but we both took our schooling and athletics seriously and liked to keep each other accountable). She would stay out super late partying on the nights she had big tests, she picked up cigarettes, and she started having guys that she would let crash in her dorm after nights of drinking. This made me uncomfortable and I did get angry but we were able to talk through it. Even though I wasn’t happy about it I trusted her.
One night, after the distance had really brought us to a breaking point, I called her and she was out partying the night of a midterm. I said she didn’t seem like the person I knew and she just said “I guess I’ve changed.” I ended it right there. About a week later, one of my good friends, who attends the same school as her, had told me she was already sleeping with other guys. A month later she started dating another guy and was making posts talking about how much she loved him and things like that.
A year and half went by and out of nowhere I get a text from her asking if I wanted to talk about things. She said she didn’t like the way it ended and was scared she’d have a panic attack if we saw each other in person during any of our school breaks (our hometown isn’t small but we have a lot of mutual friends and we frequent the same places).
I wasn’t too keen on the idea. I didn’t have any hard feelings about the breakup itself, I knew it had to happen, but the way she moved on and how fast she had done it, coupled with the person she had become, had made me a little bitter towards her. I told her that there had been plenty of opportunities for us to bump into each other and it had never been a problem before so why was she worried about it now? I then called her out for how quickly she moved on and how shitty of a person she had just seemed to become.
I never contacted her again and she hasn’t tried to contact me yet, but I get this feeling that I should have tried to be a better person and meet with her to talk about it. AITA for not doing that?
tl;dr Broke up with girlfriend of two years after we couldn’t handle long distance and she changed from the person I used to know. She started sleeping around immediately and moved on very quickly. She tried to contact me a year and a half later to talk about it and I refused, being kind of a dick about it.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
S6m998v9yO10xTw0Vao6ARqTl39eHN85
|
b66jsu
|
{
"description": "not wanting my boyfriend to attend my soccer games anymore",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting my boyfriend to attend my soccer games anymore
|
So I’ve been playing coed indoor soccer on Thursdays for the last 5 years on and off. I started dating my boyfriend in 2017 and the first year together I became flakey when playing. Well now that we live together and I’m used to his company I’ve gone back to playing every Thursday. I’ve been playing with these same mates for years and we like to have a couple pitchers and food after our games and shoot the shit. My boyfriend suddenly got Thursdays off and has been coming to my games. Yet when I score a goal or look at him at any point he isn’t paying attention usually on his phone or drawing. Then we go out afterward and he will make comments such as “do we have to go” and “ok but we need to leave by ___” and while we are there he will seem very bored which distracts me from having a good time. Am I wrong for wanting to ask him to sit out for these games and outings? I feel like it is my me time and only time out without him. If I felt he was there for support I think it would be different but I sometimes feel like he wants to babysit me when out with my team.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
5UYMyVhW2QzOQpEvJEdaDRkoQuAdkd4t
|
ay0hot
|
{
"description": "accepting free drinks in bars without 'giving' anything in return",
"pronormative_score": 54,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for accepting free drinks in bars without ‘giving’ anything in return?
|
For context I’m a 22 year old female and I would consider myself decently attractive-ish? As a result I regularly have guys come up to me in all kinds of bars and clubs offering me drinks, which I’m totally okay with as long as I watch the bartender make it and it goes straight to me to avoid any tampering.
Well I recently let it slip to my mom and she got upset with me, saying that I was taking advantage of them. I never thought of it that way because:
a) I’m not going out of my way to demand drinks from them.
b) I am always aware that there is a risk of them slipping something into the drink- it isn’t an ‘innocent’ gift!
c) I am already being grabbed by them & propositioned, so might as well get something for my troubles aha.
So am I really an ass like my mom says for accepting drinks from guys and not giving them my number/sexual favours etc.?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
THbN4Lq2ZppbBkVT3WefGP5IKNpAFCjA
|
ax67t1
|
{
"description": "calling out on short notice",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for calling out on short notice?
|
I’m 21 years old and I work as a direct support professional in a single staff group home for people with developmental disabilities. Being single staff means you’re on your own to get everything done. My typical work schedule is:
Sunday 7am - 9:30pm
Monday 2:30pm - 9:30pm
Tuesday 8am - 9-30pm
Thursday 8am - 1pm
Because of a massive snowstorm, I got stuck yesterday at work and am still here. I didn’t get to sleep and I’m still working till someone gets out here at 9:30am. I’ve been working straight since 7am yesterday. There’s a policy when stuff like this happens stating that there need to be an 8hr gap before I come back. My manager asked if I would come back at 5:30pm and stay till 9:30pm. I told her no because I live half an hour away and have things I need to get done today even though I’m so exhausted.
I won’t see my manager face to face till Tuesday. Because I had to go out and shovel snow multiple times yesterday and today at 3am, I’m already not feeling all too good. I’m willing to do my Tuesday shift but think I might call out on Thursday.
Me calling out on Tuesday isn’t really ample time for her to find someone to cover my short shift on Thursday. The home I work in is up a mountain and most people live in town the weather on Thursday is also going to be cold but at least there won’t be more snow.
Would I be an asshole for calling out on a short shift after working an over 24 hour awake shift?
Honestly I’m kind of worried about driving home since I’m so tired but I can’t wait to leave
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
0trwNEUWT2r6TEntpjaOWt5djbkuMJlT
|
9yzxw7
|
{
"description": "not telling a friend that he was lowkey cheated on",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for not telling a friend that he was lowkey cheated on?
|
So my best friend confessed that she lowkey cheated on her boyfriend.
I say lowkey because even I don't think it's cheating.
She told me that a mutual friend of ours convinced her to meet him because he had alcohol (a brand that she really liked and given her circumstance of leaving the country I understood why she resorted to alcohol)
She was super depressed about leaving the country, literally crying and clearly fucking vulnerable but this asshole moves over to her and kisses her, touches her everywhere, insinuates he wants to fuck her in the ass and leaves her a hickey on her neck. She was drunk af, so she just sat there frozen.
I've told her several times that it's best that she told her boyfriend the truth but she's convinced that he'll breakup with her because 1) he doesn't take cheating lightly 2) he doesn't want her drinking around males and she had promised him she wouldn't (which she obviously broke)
I'm also friends with her boyfriend, but she made me promise not to tell. I feel its not my place to tell this to him either but I can't help but feel guilty. Am I the asshole for not telling him myself?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
IJrj4f82KYiyAkI5OAU3gdhADmof71O4
|
aafrbw
|
{
"description": "\"stealing\" my friends phone",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 41
}
|
AITA for “stealing” my friends phone?
|
Ok so my friend is really careful with her phone. She puts on the heaviest case, constantly changes her screen protector, and never lets anyone borrow it.
Last week I was going on a plane ride and I needed to call an Uber. My phone was dead so I went over to ask her if I could borrow her phone. No one was around, so I took her phone from the counter and proceeded to call an Uber.
That’s when she came out of the bathroom and started to yell at me saying “GET OFF” and “GIVE ME MY FUCKING PHONE” and tackled me down. She then started to rant to me about how it was her phone and her property and I had no right to take it.
I ended missing my plane ride.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 6,
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
rt8RxXA2QgRKW2wD8ZbLtNeRFecJ7r80
|
as8b36
|
{
"description": "not being interested in my SO's disfinctional family",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not being interested in my SO's disfinctional family?
|
Looking for some sort of confirmation regarding my in-laws.
First off, my so is on the same page. Her family live about 50 mins away from us. We don't regularly visit because in general we don't feel welcome. We value hosting, serving people drinks and food when they come over and conversing.
My in-laws are nothing like this. They will just hang at the tv, not talking and just not caring for us being there.
A breakdown of how her family lives right now:
Dad - Hard worker, not really involved but not a bad person at heart.
Mom - Quite a spiteful person. Making bad remarks about my gf's weight a lot (she isn't even overweight). Doesn't give 2 sh*ts about what's going on with her daughter's personal life and most of the time tries to emotionally blackmail us into coming over more. We don't oblige often because we think it's a waste of time because of said disinterest.
Sister - Spends a lot of time at our place. Bit of a 50/50 of wether she's in a good mood or not. Tends to agree with their mother on a lot of subjects that involve us.
Brother - Like father, not overly involved but may sometimes make a weird remark.
Brother's GF - Now this is were the sh*t hits the fan. She has been living with them for 2 years now, absolutely leeching off of them like a parasite. The family doesn't have a lot of money so they ask for 50 euro's a month to help cover expenses. She never pays on time, of she even pays at all while she bought a car last week for over a 1000 euro's. She's never in a good mood, always nags and apart from the occasional joke is not a fun person to be around.
All in all this frustrates us to the point were I made a point of going NC. I have taken care of myself since I was 16 and seeing a family so disfunctional and being leeched off of while I'm getting talked back to for not wanting to participate in big family happenings has drawn a wedge between us and her family.
DISCLAIMER: I did not force my opinion on my SO. She has the same standing based on her being with me.
Tl;dr SO has disfunctional family which annoys me to the point of not wanting to have contact. Am I (or are we) the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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NOBODY
|
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|
RIGHT
|
7nPydl6I01IwM0xjm4PKvABkMxUDhhka
|
ar2y84
|
{
"description": "cutting out close family friends entirely",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for cutting out close family friends entirely
|
Sorry for any formatting errors or grammar errors, I’m on mobile.
BUT we have a close family friend, I’ll call her E, who has been in our lives for about 10 years now, but has of course always been closer to my parents, and seeing as I don’t live with them anymore I don’t see her anymore so it made things a bit easier. But I had always looked up to her and wanted to hang out with her and seen her as a role model because she’s really smart and motivated and genuinely a good person.
But about 5 or 6 years ago now (i think I can’t remember) she started seeing this guy I never liked. He was here illegally and was clearly using her at the beginning and had a severe drinking problem and 0 personality and she was practically running his business for him (getting him clients, taking calls, setting things up for him.) She would constantly argue with him about his drinking and would cry on the phone with him if she was over because he wasn’t putting in the effort to keep his business alive and was generally taking advantage of how much she was willing to baby him. As if all of this wasn’t enough the came home to her one night and strangled her so hard she thought her life was in danger so she ran out of the house and called my dad sobbing, so we went to pick her up. She had bruise marks on her neck and was clearly shaken and stayed with us for weeks before she went back to him because they went to church and prayed together. My attitude immediately soured and I started to realize things I didn’t like about her. I felt hurt, and frustrated but I was only 17 at the time so I was in no position to tell someone that was almost 30 what to do with her life but I couldn’t help but feel betrayed in a weird way. As time went on I realized she was just making excuses for him, would make backhanded homophobic comments and both her and her now husband would be standoffish at best with me or downright rude with me if i was at my parents house the same time as them.
My parents think I’m an asshole for not wanting anything to do with them and for leaving the house if they’re coming over with their kids, but I’m still angry at him for ever laying hands on her no matter how long ago it was and with her for staying in an abusive relationship. Am I in the right here or should I try to mend this.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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}
|
RIGHT
|
tQKvmuPyqHiTfWBkpLAZZYLdykLM0hvA
|
a9w03p
| null |
AITA in my relationship with my late grandmother
|
To give context, I was adopted by my mother's parents who I have lived with since I was 2 years old. I'm now 19 years old. I've always loved my grandfather more because, at least in her later years, my grandmother always came across as very bitter, she was very intolerant and when I was younger I did pick up a few of these things (such as using the n-word in private, and even doing racist impressions of black people in front of black people), but I've now moved past them. The thing that bugged me the most was that she was certainly verbally abusive to my grandfather and possibly to me as well.
She wasn't all bad, but it takes effort on my part to see the good in her. She has always been extremely protective of me, for better or worse. When I was younger she would let me eat basically anything I wanted to eat which I know she did out of love (I was very picky and kind of a brat back then), but she'd also berate me for being overweight saying that that's why nobody liked me. Of course, when I finally had enough and did something about it which was restricting my calories, she accused me of starving myself. She would never allow me to do **basic** things like helping to wash clothes, picking out what I would wear on any given day, cooking, washing dishes, etc. and then would criticize me for being lazy (which tbf is kind of true) and not knowing how to do anything. It's really a shame because she was good at doing housework and cooking and I could have learned a lot from her.
She would constantly berate him for the smallest things (calling him dumb, criticizing him for being forgetful, for being slow, etc.) both to his face and to other people. It was obvious that she had damaged him a lot, but he still did his best to take care of her.
Fast forward to between when I was 15 and 18. She had a fall and broke her back and her lifelong smoking addiction was catching up to her. She could no longer do any of the things she used to do and my grandpa could never leave her alone because she might fall again. From the time I was 15 to 17 (until I got my license) I was a shut in besides school and church once a week. My grandfather got to do nothing for this whole time period unless I was at home, and even then he didn't get to leave because she would throw a fit if he did.
There was a point where I eventually felt that I had no more love for her and basically acted coldly and avoided any unnecessary contact while I was still living with her until she died. She would try to guilt trip me saying that I never follow her rules or that I don't love her, and I would try my best to be patient but sometimes I would lash out at her and say things that I regret. At one point I said "I didn't decide to stay close to home for you, I did it because it would be cruel to leave anybody alone with you." There were a few times when I'd get an attack and couldn't sleep that I'd go on my computer (which is out in the open close to the living room where she stayed) bc it would ease my mind and I would accidentally wake her up typing (even though she kept the TV on but I suppose it makes sense that another noise would work differently than the noise from the TV) and she'd flip on me. Eventually I stopped caring and did it anyways. One night she was going to be bathroom and I was in my room with the light on and she started arguing and I don't remember what either of us said but I remember that she hit me, I didn't feel it but it still pissed me off and I went off on her, just verbally of course. I don't remember any other specific situations but the entire 4 year period was basically like this.
I remember a week or so before she died she said that the reason she wanted to refuse life support was that she wanted to stop being a nuisance to me and my grandfather and my grandfather was crying and said that neither of us would ever think that she's a nuisance and that hit me really hard because I at some point being pissed off might have said something like that to her.
I tried to be as fair to her as I could and show both sides. Idk how objective everything is because a lot of it is just my perception of the situation. I just still feel really guilty and ashamed about this whole situation, so give me your harshest judgements possible so i can have some closure.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
yGIMSxdpcuNo0No3OLANOaE7PJDYG8GG
|
ad3lme
|
{
"description": "yelling at a girl who locked her car door as I walked past",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 16
}
|
AITA for yelling at a girl who locked her car door as I walked past?
|
I was walking home from the liquor/grocery store and I was approaching a curb ramp. My area is becoming more gentrified, and more people think they can just park anywhere; it's annoying. There was a girl, on her phone, texting and parked right in front of the crosswalk. I did not want to walk through the grass, since in said neighborhood there are a lot of people that have dogs. So I walked to the crosswalk and around this girls car; she looked up and immediately hit the lock on her car door. I yelled, "not trying to rob you, and you shouldn't be parked in front of the crosswalk! Dumbass!" and kept going.
I am a large person of color, and this has happened to me before but usually I would laugh it off and roll my eyes. But combined with the fact the she was blocking the curb ramp (and I'll add that there are still a few elderly people in the area and a handicapped kid too makes it inconvinient for them) I was pissed.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 7,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 16
}
|
WRONG
|
BBlrfS0mk327phMWBrcRcPuSHcfcOw0A
|
b3m0dw
|
{
"description": "refusing to let a man and children in after close",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for refusing to let a man and children in after close
|
(Sorry about format in advance)
So this is something that just happened and is weighing on me. I am the closing manager where I work and we have a front lobby and delivery. My lobby closes an hour earlier than delivery. Tonight I got an order for pick up about ten minutes before my lobby closes. The promise time for them to be here to get it was five minutes after close. (So if they placed it at 11:50 and we close at 12, the computer told them to be here by 12:05) which is no big deal just annoying. So when the time rolls around when they're supposed to be here they haven't shown up. I decide to give benefit of the doubt thinking maybe they're running late and keep my door open just ten more minutes. It is now 15 minutes after my lobby is supposed to be closed and they still aren't there. I decided to give them a call to check in and see if they still wanted their order, were down the road, etc. I got sent straight to voicemail and couldn't leave a message since their inbox was full. I decided to lock my front door. They then show up 30 minutes after close, about 15 minutes after I tried calling, and start banging on the door. I mime to him that we're closed and he needs to call. I now notice he has two very young children with him. He tells me he has an order for my store which I let him know the whole deal about calling him and staying open late and whatnot. I also inform him I'm not allowed to unlock my door after it's locked per company policy. He's now very upset (understandably) and I tell him I could switch his order to a delivery since I still have it. He asks if I can just "deliver" it to my location and I told him I'm not allowed to do that (in the past my big boss has told me we aren't allowed to do that after a similar situation). So he agrees and I switch it for him and tell him it will be sent out as soon as my driver gets back from a delivery he is already on. The man proceeds to sit in his car for about 10 minutes until my driver got back and tried to ask my driver if he would hand it out the door to which I told the driver no we aren't allowed to do that. And my driver ended up taking it to the guys house.
So I just want to know if anyone else who works in food/customer service or managers think aita. I know as just a human this is super shitty to do, but as an employee is this justified. Would it be more or less justifiable if he didn't have young children with him? I'm really torn between my morals and company rules.
Tl;dr I didn't let a man get his food after we were closed even though I had it because it was against the rules.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
sIEE11WohQnTjKA8QzamwGcGplrZdkJn
|
b30reu
|
{
"description": "wanting to see my friends promotions and wanting a life",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to see my friends promotions and wanting a life?
|
Im 17. A few of my JROTC buddies are getting promoted to high ranking leadership positions. I missed school yesterday and im busy on Wednesday and Thursday and theres no school Friday. I have to make it up today. This school is an online school where you go once a week to a physical building.
Im already gonna drop out. What's a day of school. Apparently everything. I ask my mom if i needed to go. She said yes. I said i promised myself and a few friends that i would attend. She asked how many absences I have. I said i don't know. She said i don't care. I got an annoyed tone vibe from it. My dad gets pissed and says i have to try until im 18.9 months until i turn 18.
I was forced to grow up. Didn't get to really enjoy my teenage years. I've lived in 9 houses in my 17 year old life. Averaging 2 years a house. Ive had to deal with their fuck ups. Ive had to cash in my bonds for them. Im stressed about having to move every year. I was put on the back burner. Which i was fine with because the less shit they have to worry about the better. But the second i want something, im told it cant happen. I need a new SSC. Can't find the time to do so. New shoes? Can't find the time to do so. Ask for more healthy food instead of seeing cookies everytime they come back from the store. Nope. Ive seen their bank account because i have my own sub account for my money in their. Their is definitely enough for a pair of sketchers. Im accounting money for rent or unforseen medical bills and such.
Am i the asshole for wanting a life?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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NOBODY
|
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|
RIGHT
|
x0QsIxwopoXONaaFepv7WK2Cuk2h3owX
|
b2kwnj
|
{
"description": "not letting a friend's \"friend\" stay with me",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not letting a friend’s “friend” stay with me?
|
So a little back story on this. Recently became single and reached out to some old friends to try to rebuild my social life. One of these is an ex, we’ll call her Ashley, of mine that we’ve managed to stay good friends over the years. She introduces me to a friend of her’s, we’ll call her Sara, to basically knock the rust off of my single game. Sara and I end up talking a little bit but I quickly realized she wasn’t my type and moved on. Well after this she became extremely two face and bitchy towards me and Ashley. So I completely cut her out and my ex does what she can but it’s complicated.
Fast forward to last night. I get a text from Ashley asking me to call her. Call her up to see what’s wrong because normally she would just call me without worrying about texting. She starts a long story on how Sara is screwing up. She basically disappeared for 3 days and left her kid with her ex’s parents, that she lives with, to go party at the coast with her new boyfriend. Well her ex’s parents have kicked her out but is letting her kid stay with them. Ashley asks me is Sara could stay with me while she figures everything out since I have an extra bedroom. I flat out say no. She understands but still has to deal Sara for several reasons and is having a hard time not being nice about it.
So now I’ve had time to think about it and while I’m not changing my mind, I also don’t know what to do outside of her staying with me.
TL;DR. Friend ask me if another friend could stay at my place for a few weeks with they figure shit out. I said no
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 5,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
oxt7iPb18UjgRvkYFBq4W9xp1lq9f0LA
|
b3u3ky
|
{
"description": "asking my LDR girlfriend if I could hang out with friends during \"scheduled call time\"",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for asking my LDR girlfriend if I could hang out with friends during "scheduled call time"?
|
First post here so hopefully it's not the wrong format etc.
&#x200B;
My girlfriend and I have been in a long distance relationship for about 2 years now. We see each other every month or so during a weekend. Because we're both in college and usually have busy schedules with classes and homework etc., we set up scheduled call times, shorter ones on Tuesday and Thursday, and longer ones on Friday and Saturday nights. We said we would call at 8/9 on Friday/Saturday Nights. We agreed that these were to be nights for just us.
&#x200B;
Now, starting from last Friday, I got really sick, and only today (Thursday) I'm starting to feel better. So, my girlfriend and I decided that it would be good if we didn't call on Friday and Saturday, and I just rested to feel better. During the period while I was sick, I still gave my best effort to call and ask about my girlfriends activities, classes, etc., but it was a bit less than if I wasn't sick. Most of the time I was just in bed feeling crappy.
&#x200B;
Now, the main part of the AITA is that I'd been planning a get together with friends, and the only time that all of them could get together was this Friday, during the night (and thus during our scheduled calling time). I have depression and Hashimoto's, so I thought this would be a good chance to break out of that (I haven't been hanging out with people lately). The last time I asked my girlfriend whether it was ok if I did something during our call time, she got furious with me. So, this time, I was feeling quite anxious about asking her, yet today I did (another reason why I didn't ask her earlier is because I thought I might not even go, since I was feeling very sick).
&#x200B;
What I asked her was the following: Would it be ok if I hung out with friends during Friday night, but to make up for it, called more today (thursday), and earlier on Friday, as well as later in the night on Friday, around 10. And if those didn't work, another later time that worked for her.
&#x200B;
After I asked her, she got extremely upset and furious. She started telling me that I hadn't been texting the past last week a lot, and that I am putting hanging out with friends above her. To this, I said that I wasn't putting it over her, just that this is the only time they could meet, and that I was trying to make up for it by calling more today (thursday) and at different times on Friday. She was adamant that since Friday was scheduled, it's scheduled no matter what, and extremely pissed off, berating me and saying " i cant tell you what you can or cannot do so do whatever you want".
&#x200B;
So, AITA for asking to hang out with friends during a scheduled calling time? (Let me know if you need more Info).
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
B2sZAPhxKKdnj9euhhc01pxHoaWNNben
|
b6ks9a
|
{
"description": "ending my dnd campaign",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA If I ended my DnD campaign?
|
I posted before on here with a lost throwaway account, btw this is also a throwaway account because I think some of my friends are Redditors as well.
&#x200B;
Alright so context, my group and I have been playing together for almost 2 years this April or May over discord and the website Roll20. About six months ago we had one player leave for various reasons, we had spoken with this player multiple times to correct his behavior before we booted him. We ended up replacing him with a friend of mine from another game.
Cast
Me=Me
BF=Best friend who was here since the beginning
NP=New Player
F1= Friend 1
F2=Froend 2
&#x200B;
Alright so while I was doing something else other than hanging out on Discord BF, NP, F1, and F2 were hanging out on discord together. This story is second hand so I'll only be telling the consistent details from everyone's accounts. So BF was talking about some game or anime he was watching or playing when NP said, "That's gay." F1, who is bi, calls him out for it as homophobic, rightfully so I might add. NP said "Get a sense of humor it was just a joke." Not the best defense and one I was definitely critical of. When F1 told me about it I offered to talk to NP about it, but F1 told me to just leave it. So I respected F1's wishes and told him I would just watch for it in the future, it never happened again. Cut to a month later and we're discussing a one shot around a piece of kids media, BF, NP, and I share a couple of old jokes about it when F1 comes in with a moral crusade about how we shouldn't make fun of the Kids media and that NP is basically the devil for it, even though BF and I were in on the jokes. Then there was the time F1 picked a fight with NP over how he was calculating his dice rolls, it basically ended up being the same but because it was different than how the book said to do it he accused NP of cheating, even though he should have gotten my attention since I was in the discord chat but working on another project at the time so I had tuned them out since they were getting along before I got to work.
&#x200B;
So that's what led up to the event of the evening. F1 had contacted me about how he and F2 were not getting along with NP. I had spoken with F2 before about this and she had told me she was fine with him, about a month before the event and 5 months after the start of the feud. I checked with F2. She confirmed that since NP made that gay joke SIX MONTHS ago she felt uncomfortable around him but didn't want to say anything since he was my friend. I begrudgingly accepted that if they both felt this way I would boot NP. Then when I joined NP's game after booting him I found out from BF that F1 had tried to corner him over text in DMs and used him to gauge my own response so he can tailor his message to something I could appreciate. I saw red at how he used my friend and kept that conversation out of my sight. A few more details about this incident but character limit. You may want to ask for INFO.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
7IGlnvrNzmNqAsOnFIMzR7fJE38QHpFX
|
acgpta
|
{
"description": "wanting my gf to take a shower after any workout",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for wanting my gf to take a shower after any workout
|
Most times my partner goes and works out, she comes home and instead of taking a shower, she just sits on the couch or lays in our bed. If she feels she didn't work out hard enough, then she won't shower before going to sleep either. AITA for asking her to take a shower before she sits/lays on stuff, so that they don't smell afterwards Even after her lightest workouts where she may not have sweat much.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
fGa2zAiF4LjzJ5M76mJOQCWqumIwnv2o
|
abuiv6
|
{
"description": "breaking up with my gf because I don't like her way of dressing",
"pronormative_score": 40,
"contranormative_score": 13
}
|
AITA for breaking up with my gf because I don't like her way of dressing
|
I have been together with my gf for over a year. Overall, she's a nice person and I don't wish any bad on her at all.
For the past 2 months, my gf has been starting to go out more frequently with her (female) friends. It would be a "girls night" so I never got to tag along. I never had an issue with it since she had been doing that since we met, but she also started to dress a lot more differently.
She went from modest clothing to more revealing stuff. It first started with an extra deep cleavage, short thight jeans etc. I told her this made me uncomfortable but she started getting defensive, accused me of not trusting her, telling me "a bit of skin" (that was more then a bit imo) is alright and that I have no right to object against her way of clothing. A week or something later, she went more daring as in her underwear visible, sideboob etc. At that point I told her I'm not going to force her to change, she has indeed the right to chose her clothings. But I also have the right to choose. I told her I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone wearing that publicly. She got mad at first, then started crying as I left and later got hateful messages of her friends that I was too controling. (I believe I gave her all the freedom I could at this point since it wasn't my business anymore)
Tl;Dr. Gf wears more revealing clothing with sideboob, see through skirts etc. As I don't want to force her to change, but neither want to be with someone who dresses like that, I broke up with her. Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 10,
"OTHER": 17,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 23,
"INFO": 1
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 40,
"WRONG": 13
}
|
RIGHT
|
DxBHO2J10giBsIcoB2bWNuspvS4KPNZn
|
9t64en
|
{
"description": "getting married first",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting married first?
|
So I have a pretty close friend group of around 5 or 6 people. All of us get along super well except one of them. The one who can’t get along is pretty bossy and wants things done her way even though we are all adults and can make our own decisions.
So my friend always talked about how she wanted to get married and start a family first before any of us. We all are in pretty serious relationships except for her. She jumps around a lot and doesn’t really commit to one person. So my boyfriend and I got engaged and everyone was so happy except for my friend. She goes on a meltdown about how I’m rude for getting engaged first and how she was supposed to get this moment before us. So we plan our wedding and ask our friends to be in the wedding party and everyone says yes except for her. So because she was acting like that I took her off the invite list and didn’t invite her. She became so mad and didn’t speak to me for months.
So one of my other friends get engaged and we all go out to celebrate including her and she’s ticked at me the whole time. Her current relationship and her had just called it quits and she was the only single one. So because it was an engagement dinner, one thing we wanted to do was look at her ring. They then asked to look at mine to just compare for fun and she gets so mad about this. She starts making comments about how ugly it is and how I don’t deserve it. Since then I’ve pretty much cut her out of my life. I still see her at events with my friends but that’s about it. Am I in the wrong for this? Should I not wear my ring around her to not hurt her feelings? I can’t do that. I love my ring too much and it’s too important. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
OiZ7ejqqxpFL2K5k2zUYi7HYp8ZR6oFb
|
as8kdw
|
{
"description": "telling my dad it's wrong to want to kick me out over keeping my job",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For telling my dad it's wrong to want to kick me out over keeping my job?
|
I'm 22, and I recently got a DWI. I'm now(or maybe not) living with my dad, and my stepmom. I no longer have my car, I have to figure out how to make money, and move forward. I've had a job 3 YEARS, and he want's to kick me out because I want to go back to work. I have a ride there and back, he has to do nothing to help me get there. It affects him in no way.
I have been given set rules, be home by 12 ect.. I follow them. A rule was get a job, I've got ALOT of court fees coming up. I HAVE a job. I have HAD IT 3 YEARS, and I make GOOD money, and these people are my family. My manager has worked with me these past two weeks since the event, keeping my name on schedule, and open to ANY shifts I can make it too. She wants to help me no matter what and has left my name up, even when I went to jail for 3 days, she simply told me she's glad I'm okay. My grandma wants to bring me to work in the morning, and I will always have a ride back. This is only Tuesday and Wednesday. Two days a week from 9:30 to 5. Any other job, and I am getting a second one here like he wants, is going to be a bus commute and me asking for rides and figuring out what to do, and waiting to be hired and I'm okay with that.
BUT. This job is solid, and I'm guaranteed to start working immediately and have income. My dad is saying he will kick me out if I choose to work here. He claims it's his rules and to my grandma he is "helping her, and she needs to be humble follow my rules and listen too me." There's no real reason.They aren't home then. They don't have to take me. It affects them in no way. My own grandma is against him in this, her son. Helping me would be letting me go to work, not taking away a job I've had three years. My attorney even said I should maintain this job.
I had to call my manager tonight, to tell her I can't go in tomorow because of this, and he SCREAMED AT ME in the background, she heard, and she was just trying to go to bed. It was awful. I told her I'll call her tomorow. I told him earlier in the day I was going to work, and he didn't say I couldn't. He didn't act this against it, UNTIL my step mom stepped in. Then threatened him. She took the kids away this evening over it. She also lied about me screaming at her, I have video evidence proving otherwise. She began this entire situation and can't be told anything she doesn't like. She's awful. She told me have a job, by the end of the week. I had this in a day. This job has nothing to do with the trouble I got in. That was in two entirely different cities, ACROSS a ferry system. This is a different place, I would go straight to work and back. Yet he wants to kick me out over it. I'm kinda prepared to let him no matter how hard things will be on me. I'm currently at my grandmas, thinking about what to do. I told him he was wrong and kick me out over it, but we are both talking to him tomorow.
I'm trying my best. I don't understand. So reddit.. am I really wrong? AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
INFO
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
vpn8oQwtcmXCtrkrkjKuQZePfY9uhxX1
|
ba9p9s
|
{
"description": "wanting to leave my family",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to leave my family
|
I (20F) live with 2 families in one plot( main house and a separate entrance to another smaller house at the back).
I personally don't mind this because we live relatively peaceful but I am not happy here.
I am the first of my family to go for a degree(1 and a half years left) and my mother is basically pushing for me to become the breadwinner once I graduate. I also wouldn't have minded this but I have been living in what seems like a prison since my stepdad has stayed with us. He pays all our bills and has paid for my education but he has this absolutely infuriating outlook on life that whatever he says is right. If I have friends over it is a problem and as such I hardly have anyone over, and any guys I do know is just out to be in my pants according to him. If I go out to the movies or anywhere really my curfew is so early that sometimes it doesn't even feel worth it. I appreciate what he has done for me and my family but I cannot keep living like this.
It does not help that our religion is really against allowing a woman to do anything for herself (Islam, but it could be a society/cultural thing).
I have been in a long distance relationship for about 2 years now and I have decided that I want to stay with him because my boyfriend is genuinely the only place I get my happiness from these days and he does all he can to keep me happy. I feel like I have too much pressures on me and I just want to be able to start over and actually live and my boyfriend is my ticket to freedom.
I am feeling guilty for wanting to do this because my mom is sick with an unstable heart and stresses really easily, and my family is not very wealthy at all. It is really overwhelming because my country is also developing into a shit show.
Would I be the asshole if I leave in the near future?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
8gOZWObzDhxyi027KVBUNuyCws69uc5T
|
aj6e7f
|
{
"description": "arriving with my stepmom about church",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For arriving with my stepmom about church
|
So a little backstory
I(15) told my stepmom(43) that I was an Atheist, now mind you I didn’t just tell her out of the blue she asked me if I believed in god and I said no.
But despite this she still forces me to go to church with he because I could learn something, I’ve tried telling her that it would just be a waste of time for me and that I’m old enough to stay home by myself.
But she says I have to go and this isn’t a debate, we didn’t even go to church that often before I told her
(at least not when I was there)
I’ve tried convincing my dad but he says it’s family time so that was a no go
Now mind you they don’t despise me and don’t bother me about it but they still force me to go even though I don’t believe in it.
So you be the judge reddit
AITA? And what should I do in the future
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
PnsIuRSYF28Lo27vj22UFHZL60y31Jro
|
ary2br
|
{
"description": "wanting to meet up vs pickup for Valentines",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA (and weird) for wanting to meet up vs pickup for Valentines?
|
So a woman and I have been dating for the last 4 weeks. Valentines is always the toughest holiday to navigate for a new relationship. So last weekend we had a date where she drove up to me and we went out to one of my favorite restaurants. She was a little hangry but things settled down once we ate and had a little bit to drink.
That night as we were heading to bed (she fell asleep on my lap) she got a text that apparently an ex of hers had died of a drug related overdose. She tells me about their relationship and how he was engaged and got married during the two years they were together. It all seemed like an odd thing to disclose but I tried to be open minded as it was in the past. About an hour later she said she wanted to go home because she couldn’t sleep, so off she went. Because it all seemed odd, I had the intuition to check the app we met in and low and behold she had checked it during our date. That bothered me. By early the next morning I checked again in case I dreamt it, and she had checked again back in her town.
So here I am feeling pretty down about myself about all of this, but by the Monday I asked her pretty casually that if she was free l would want to take her out on Thursday if she was ok with it being sorta late as I have an obligation every Thursday til about 8.
As I was wrapping up, I messaged her if she would be ok meeting up at the place for 9 and she freaks. Apparently I’m weird for wanting to meet her there versus pick her up. My thinking was that I’d rather spend as much time as possible in the bar with her versus navigating traffic etc. but when she pointed it out I felt bad as I clearly wasn’t thinking fully about it and I realized I f’d up. She said she’d rather just wait till Saturday to do something. So I hadn’t heard from her Friday or Saturday, so I reached out about 4:00 to see if she wanted to meet up still and she said she wanted more time.
So AITA or is there more going on and should just cut my losses.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
3ahQHf2Vf4paU1mDl4qXYb6myp1RDDsa
|
9ukfot
| null |
AITA told my brother off for not picking the bathroom door and not answering me before opening it.
|
Today, I woke up and the electricity was off for some reason. I wanted to take a shower and I heard someone walk in. Then I heard it again. I snoozed and when I woke up again I geared the door. I thought the second time I heard the door that it was opening and the person using it before I snoozed was done. I went over to the door and it was closed I see the lights are off so I turn the handle. But I think to myself what if someone's in there because why would it be closed. I knock really hard...wait...and then open it. I see him taking a shit on his phone and he didn't even seem to be phased because he's on his phone 24/7. I told him this via text: Lock the fucking door and answer when someone knocks moron (paraphrasing). This is what he replied: "Don't ever talk to me like that or I would come but the fucking shoes in your shitty mouth. Behave yourself and respect you Idiot. When you become a man come talk to me. Never talk to me again if I wasn't out now I would of come break your bones Don't show me your face in the house" wtf.chill this would have never happened if you had locked the fricking door man.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
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