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aw89if
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{
"description": "accidentally exposing my bestfriend's cheating to her husband",
"pronormative_score": 45,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for accidentally exposing my bestfriend's cheating to her husband?
|
Pretext: my bestfriend and her husband got married this September 28th, and has been messing around with an ex since mid October.
I only came to learn any of this somewhat recently (January ish)
My best friend, her husband, my husband and I are all friends and hang out fairly frequently. One day I get a message from her Husband on Facebook, and he had asked me for advice on marriage councilors ( as my husband and I have seen one previously) this was in December.
Fast forward until two weeks ago, my bestfriend told me that her and her husband were on a break. I thought based on what she had been doing that was probably a good choice.
Her husband works for the gym I attend and I needed to put my account on hold. I messaged him asking if he could put the paper work for that through and he said he could. We chatted for a bit I asked him how things were going and he said they were okay but not great- I said that his wife had told me about their break and that I was sorry that they were struggling.
THEY WERE NOT ON A BREAK. So the. He starts rapid firing questions about it and I tried to deflect as much as possible.
She texted me until 12 midnight saying that because of me they are getting a divorce. So.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
5J1iXjhQ7VGKirOrMyv7hfKP4ZJ7KBvd
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9v24g8
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{
"description": "leaving a server because of a prank and then rejoining",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for leaving a server because of a prank and then rejoining?
|
So I was a mod on this discord server, Which I am not going to say the name of. There was a lot of drama but most of it didn't involve me so I really didn't care. I just doing my job and making sure that everyone follows the rules. But one time I decided to host a competition of some sort and the owner gave me permission. The competition was about the first to reach 1000 while counting gets a special role. And so I host it, for most of it it was going well. Until one day, another mod that we'll call jack starting interrupting the counting when someone had reached 900... I told them to go away and they did. But, someone had managed to reach 998. And as they typed in 999 a bot came out of nowhere and said 100. Jack comes in and starts laughing, I get really annoyed, tell him to fuck off and leave the competition alone. But they don't stop, they started spamming the image of the bot saying "1000" after the deleted the message. This got me really annoyed and so in a fit of rage I kicked the bot and took jack's permissions. We both had the same permissions but we could take each other's powers away for some reason. Anyways, we go to the general chat and we start arguing, after a few minutes it was my breaking point. I tell jack to fuck off because he was so annoying, and then I leave the server. But it doesn't end here.
About a month later the owner messages me, me and the owner didn't hate each other and we were somewhat of friends. He tells me that jack has been banned and the server had changed a lot. I take his words and join the server, but I tell him if I ever see jack again I am leaving. This works out well and jack is nowhere to be found. But fast forwards again to today, and as I join the server I see that jack has joined back. I tell him "Oh look who it is! Time to fulfill my promise!" And I immediately leave. Even if people tell me I am the asshole or not I don't think I am going back there.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
BZoof7B8a2rJXrozuIy7wRcZ8ymLWiv4
|
akjteh
|
{
"description": "asking my mom to drop my friend off when she was picking me up",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for asking my mom to drop my friend off when she was picking me up?
|
Basically, I go to school in a major city and I come back to visit my parents like once every month or two. We don’t really get along so I don’t like to come
back often. But some high school friends were in our hometown this weekend for a birthday and I decided to come back.
I don’t drive because a. I have never needed to living in the city and b. it is very expensive and cost of living in this city is expensive as it is. So when I do go home to see my parents they have to pick me up (about 40 mins from the suburb to the city). Another reason for this is because I have a dog and obviously we have to take her with me. I could take the long distance coach bus but my dog doesn’t do well in them.
My parents live close to the suburbs but they recently moved to a new housing development that’s basically in the middle of nowhere. In order for me to get to a bus stop I have to walk about 35 minutes and because it’s the suburbs busses run on a half hour schedule and take a very long time to get anywhere. Also because it’s the suburbs there isn’t much to do and everything is pretty spread out. So the plan for my friends birthday was to meet at a mall about 20-30 mins driving but takes over an hour by bus. In the afternoon I had my
mom drop me off at a major bus station where I took the bus to the mall.
In the evening, after we were done dinner around 9:15, we checked for bus times and it wasn’t set to come
for another 25 minutes. Two of my friends were taking a bus that was due to come in 5 minutes but my friend Kate and I were supposed to take the same bus back. It would take Kate over an hour and two busses to get home and frankly it’s cold and late...
The plan originally was supposed to be that I was going to go back to the city tonight, but I figured it was kind of late and I could just go back tomorrow, so I asked my mom to pick me up from and just take me back to their place. She said she would rather drop me off tonight and that she would gather my stuff and drop me off in the city. I ask her if she can drop Kate off too since she’s coming anyway, and she says “Think of your mother.” My parents live maybe a 15 minute drive from Kate. I didn’t think it was a big deal but it was late so I decided maybe it was too much to ask. So I ask what if we just dropped her off at a major bus station? They’re not far from the highway we’d have to take back to the city but it would be going the opposite way a little bit. Kate would still have to take a bus but it would probably be 20 minutes on the bus as opposed to over an hour.
And my mom is like fine, the bus station is okay. So I tell Kate we can drop her off at a bus station.
And I’m waiting and it’s 9:45 at this point, too late for Kate to take the bus or else she’d have to wait for another one. I text my mom where she is and she calls me freaking out like, “Why are you rushing me? You always ask so much of me.” going on and on in our language, yelling at me for asking her to drop off my friend. She complains that I can’t drive (which isnt even financially feasible for me), and she is so tired of having to drive me everywhere (even though I don’t even come back that often). She says she hasn’t even left yet. And I feel like shit and my friend feels like shit because she can hear my mom yell at me through the phone even though she doesn’t understand what she’s saying.
I text my dad asking if he can pick me up instead since obviously my mom is mad. He says no, he’s already in bed. I ask if mom left the house yet and he says he doesn’t know. I ask if he can just check, and he says she’s not there so she must have left.
I text my mom again and asks her if she can please drive Kate to the bus station (an uber would’ve been expensive) and my mom is like fine but don’t ask me to drop off anyone ever again.
Anyway, my mom gets here at like 10:10 pm and my friend asks if I’m sure it’s okay we can drive her. My mom asks if it’s okay if we drive me home first (40 mins to the city) and on the way back to the suburbs drive my friend.
I feel like this is obviously for my moms benefit but she didn’t say this to me when I asked her. If I had known she was expecting to do this, then it would’ve saved Kate more time to just take the bus in the first place. But Kate gets in and my mom drives me back to the city and then drops Kate off.
AITA here? I know it was kind of late to ask my parents to pick me up (dinner went longer than expected) but I didn’t think it would be unreasonable to assume they could drop my friend off. From the beginning she could have said no to the bus station or been more clear but she made it sound like I was asking this huge request and putting a huge burden on her. I don’t feel like I’m being unreasonable to my friend or my mom, but I feel super shitty. My mom made both of us feel really bad even though I didn’t think it was a huge deal to ask for her to drop my friend off since she was coming anyway. I get that it was kind of late and that she was probably tired and I can’t expect her to be an Uber but was it really that big of a deal??
TL;DR I don’t drive (none of my friends do—too expensive at our age 22/23) so my parents usually pick me and my dog up from the city I go to school in to their place in the outskirts of the suburbs, where there’s bad public transportation. After a birthday dinner finished kind of late (9 pm), instead of waiting 25 mins for the next bus and taking an hour bus ride home, I asked my mom to drive me and my friend. My mom wanted to drive me back to the city instead of bringing me back to their place and asked that I be more considerate of her. So I suggested we drop my friend off at the bus station (where she’d still have to take another bus but like 20 mins instead of over an hour) instead. My mom says okay, so I tell my friend, we wait in the restaurant till around 9:45 and I text my mom asking where she is and she gets very mad at me, and calls me yelling over the phone to stop rushing her and asking so much of her, and at this point she hasn’t even left yet. She doesn’t arrive till 10:10 and says we can drop my friend off but she’s driving me into the city first and then dropping my friend off because where we were dropping her off was a 15-20 minute drive in the opposite way of the city but towards the direction of where my mom lives.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
sNQ4g2tVjNtJdnNZjWgznmwFUURgK87W
|
anxcq0
|
{
"description": "leaving my mother to go on a ski trip",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
WIBTA if I left my mother to go on a ski trip?
|
Alright, so some backstory. About 5 days ago, my mother was given surgery to remove a vaginal cyst the size of a football, which may have been benign cancer, but there was an incision that cut across her stomach area to remove the cyst. This incision made it impossible to get up or lay down from or to a resting state without help.
My stepfather had taken a week worth of vacation time to visit her, and instructed me on how to take care of her. His vacation time ends today, and I am the only one capable of taking care of her.
My sister recently left for a friend’s house and has not come back after a dispute, so she would be the only possible candidate to take care of her if I left.
I joined the Ski/Snowboard club of my school to be more active, and we needed to pay hundreds of dollars for all the equipment, rentals, and transportation.
The Ski trip is 2/7/19, and going on it means she will be alone for eight hours.
tl;dr: Mother recently had surgery, cannot properly take care of herself alone, not many viable people to help, ski trip upcoming and going means she will be alone for hours on end.
So, WIBTA if I left my mother to go on a ski trip?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 2
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
WRONG
|
8SyGfNDFeouGc8iJz3YulNI4Bi7lSjC6
|
9tei7z
|
{
"description": "taking my roommates parking spot",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for taking my roommates parking spot?
|
Okay so I’ve been living with these two friends of mine for about 3 months and we’ve had only a few issues but one of the main ones is parking.
Parking in our appartment complex is absolutely terrible. Every unit (except maybe one bedroom units?) Is allowed 3 parking spots. One covered and marked right by the stairway to your appartment, another compact spot off to the side, and your third spot is any spot marked visitor.
I am responsible for every bill we pay, except rent which we each pay individually to our landlord. They obviously pay me their third of the bills at the end of the month, but it’s on me to have money in my account until then to make sure all the bills are paid and we don’t have any issues. Since I’m burdened with this, along with the fact that I drive the biggest car and I won’t fit in the compact spot, I suggested I be allowed the covered marked spot. They didn’t like that idea.
We ran through lots of ideas to solve the parking problem and roommate 1 suggested we just do first one home gets the covered marked spot if they want it. Of course I’m okay with this since I’m the first one off work everyday. Both roommate 2 and I agreed.
After a few days of this roommate 1 was out late and came back to no available parking so he had to park away from the apartments. He’s told me two separate stories so I feel like it’s all a big lie, but he told me first that he got a ticket because he was illegally parked and then he told me he parked a few blocks away at the grocery store. No sure which is true, or if either are true honestly.
So because of this roommate 1 demanded a new parking rule so that never happened again. He said what we should do is first person home takes a visitor spot, second person takes the compact, and third gets the covered spot. This makes sense to me so I reluctantly agreed.
Things were fine for a few weeks until one day I came home to limited parking available. As usually roommate 2 is in the marked compact spot, but roommate one was in visitor parking. I thought okay so I’ll just take the marked spot but it was taken by a car I’d never seen before. I parked all the way at the other end of the complex and furiously stormed in complaining that someone took our spot. It turns out that roommate 1 let his girlfriend take the covered spot and she was here for almost 2 whole days without moving.
I let the last incident slide and for a few more weeks it was okay. I was getting good visitor spots, roommate 2 was still taking the compact spot and roommate 1 usually being the last one home would take the covered spot. I started realizing that roommate 1 was just taking the covered spot and not even following his own rules of parking visitor if he was home before us. This all came to a head when one weekend he went out of town and left his car in the covered spot the whole time. It really fucked me over 2 of those nights. I confronted him about it and he seemed unconcerned by my complaining.
So once again we made a new rule. There are 4 convenient visitors spots that I can take that are near our entrance. If they are available I will take them. If not I’m taking the covered spot. Roommate 2 still takes the compact spot which both roommate 1 and I don’t really have any issue with.
This rule worked well for a little bit, but Monday-Wednesday this week people have stayed parked in those good visitor spots. So I took the covered spot those days, as the allowed by the rules. Wednesday roommate 1 texts me and says that I keep taking the cover spot and he needs it. I told him no if you’re not here and there aren’t any good visitor spots then I’m taking that spot. He tried to tell me that he wants to go back to the old rule of first one here takes visitor and next takes covered. I called him out saying that I rarely if ever saw him taking a visitor spot and leaving the covered space for me. I’m going to paste what he said to me next here. “You’re right bro I’m wrong. You’re just being really selfish and inconsiderate. You’ve never had to park at the store before”. That pissed me off that he said I’m inconsiderate because he was out late one night and didn’t get a spot when he never ever went out of his way to leave me a spot.
So yeah I mean it’s only been a day since that happened but I’ve been taking the good open visitor spots. I don’t know what the solution is here, but that’s not why I’m here. I’m here to find out if I’m being an ass hole for doing this. Sorry for the long post! But thanks for taking the time!
TL;DR: Roommate and I fight over a parking spot all the time. He wants me to take inconvenient visitor spots while he takes the covered spot simply because he likes to stay out late and doesn’t want to come back to no parking.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
SZDQw3UGjsEPwC6HCJtXfnicLQJnHmX8
|
b1lwfp
|
{
"description": "cutting off my best friend on my birthday",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I cut off my best friend on my birthday.
|
So tonight is my birthday "party". I have only 2 friends and we were going out for drinks.
My best friend just told me that she can't go out because she doesn't have any money.
She lives off the money her dad gives her and he gave her like $300 on monday. She paid her phone and yesterday went shopping and blew out the rest on clothes. She sent me photos of everything she bought and even ordered more online.
So now she tells me she can't come because of money even when SHE planned my party and she knew I had been having a hard time with college/family and I was really looking forward to relax and celebrate one night.
We have been friends forever and have had some ups and downs but I'm really mad and I really feel like someone who cares about you would never do that, knowing I love my birthdays. (we even offered to pay if she comes but she "Would feel baaad" )
Am I over reacting or she really doesn't give one shit about my feelings?
I haven't text her back because I don't know if I should brush it off and suck my anger or go nuts on her and tell her how I really feel.
Please help.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
hJ4YaPHcmntAyPHxd8aA0BV4ihkyQ9f7
|
av8u86
|
{
"description": "keeping the heat on in my classroom when my TA is hot",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 11
}
|
AITA for keeping the heat on in my classroom when my TA is hot?
|
i’m the kind of person that’s always cold, so if he asked, id probably turn it off. but he walks in first thing in the morning, says something like “wow you must be cold today!” and just turns it off without asking. so I started telling him not to and leaving the heat on as much as I can, just to prove i’m the teacher and can if I want. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 8,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
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"WRONG": 11
}
|
WRONG
|
shdPkjbPj94BpXxcVwGQh4bjA0qZMwoF
|
a25kft
|
{
"description": "wanting to kick my uncle out",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to kick my uncle out?!?!
|
So as of right now my uncle lives with us and works with me at Amazon I’m Tier 3 he’s is Tier 1
He has put me in position to have to report him to my manager for doing things involving associates.
The latest incident is the most serious and after the investigation he will be fired most likely if he isn’t I would be surprised as he made a vulgar gesture and comment about another associate.
This was brought to my attention in which I reported it to HR my brother has said this isn’t the first time he would lose a job for that.
If I kick him out for this am I the asshole I mean if he stays I’m supporting him, we are already stretching our budget to three people and I helped him get the job and gave him a place to stay.
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 2,
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
hW64Ixo0is5yJsEThiR7pyJTwIHR3Rwz
|
akotdf
|
{
"description": "being mad at my friends parents",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for being mad at my friends parents?
|
Take note that all the stuff below that I've done, I have been punished for already.
​
So last year, I was that one kid that tried (and succeeded) to hack the school laptops. Anyway, my best friend, we'll call him Omar, wanted to play together. I managed to remove a bunch of the restrictions on the computers, including giving his local account admin perms. He never got in trouble for it as he wasn't caught. Later on in the year, I accidentally posted my own dump of a GameCube iso to the school network, I meant to put it on my USB. My shit got confiscated. I got Saturday school.
This was all *last year*.
Now this year, his computer was having hardware malfunctions. For some reason, the computer people scanned his hard drive. Since all the hacking shit happened last year, he wasn't in trouble and neither was I. They knew it was me, as I turned in my school computer for a personal laptop during the first quarter. I wasn't expecting his parents to be told. Now they hate me. They won't let me hang out with him outside of school. If they even catch me talking to him on discord, they flip out.
​
AITA? I honestly dunno.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
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|
NOBODY
|
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|
RIGHT
|
94scdKgIH2vDJKi1VuhhA6dNbVEwPqVF
|
afora3
|
{
"description": "not reaching out to a hiring manager for my friend",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not reaching out to a hiring manager for my friend?
|
Hi Reddit,
Going to try to keep this as short yet detailed as possible.
I have a friend of around 16 years. We had been best friends for most of that time, yet recently have kind of hit a bit of a lull. This has definitely been my fault though, as I have admittedly not made as much effort as I could have over the recent years. Regardless, we both reconnected and have been trying to stay friendly for the past 1.5 years or so.
Last week she messaged me about a job opening at the organization I work for that would be perfect for her. Naturally, I told her happily to apply, as she has been having a difficult time in her current role and has been looking for a new job for quite some time now. All was well until a few days after when she messaged me asking "how come you cant help get me into \[my company\]". I explained to her that I do not know anyone in that area, but she can put me as her reference (as the application has a section for referrals from existing employees).
She then messaged me later in the day saying that this is "important for her career and she is faced with a barrier that I can help her overcome but I am choosing not to". She proceeded to tell me that she was "disappointed and that there must be some internal process for referrals that I am not taking the initiative to find out more about". (please note, I work in a government organization of over 8000 employees, there is no internal referral or incentive program)
I replied with a detailed message explaining that I looked up the area she was applying for and I have no connections with anyone there, and therefore have zero credibility in that department. I went on to explain that if she were applying for a position in an area I am affiliated with, I would be able to speak to someone, or get more information (as I had done for another friend previously). Even if I were to speak to any manager, the application process for the organization is rigorous and constantly audited, there is no guarantee that I could help out. I ended the message by saying that it was unfair for her to put blame and pressure on me for her career and that I have done what I could to provide advice and support.
The reply: "there is so much wrong with what you said, but i'm not going to pick at anything because that's not the kind of person I am. However, I expected more from you given our friendship. I guess that's my issue to have expected anything."
I have not responded..... AITA??
tl;dr - friend of 16 years applied for a position in my company and is disappointed in me for not taking the initiative to find out more about an internal referral process (which we do not have) or reaching out to the hiring manager that i have zero credibility or relationship with
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 10,
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}
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OTHER
|
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RIGHT
|
Z1JOsFKKPz2kjyXfMtDY6gxkaOfXZOa8
|
adn1km
|
{
"description": "telling my girlfriend's best friend's husband that his wife is cheating on her",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for telling my girlfriend's best friend's husband that his wife is cheating on her?
|
Mouthful of a title, sorry -
​
My (25m) girlfriend (25f) had a brief break where she slept with her best friend (23f), who is married. This in itself is bad, and it eventually was found out whilst the two girls were drunk one night trying to convince the husband and I to have an orgy. He went ballistic, we left, it was a bad time all around.
​
Things have since been awkward, and the husband and I used to be fairly decent friends but now he avoids hanging out with my girlfriend and I like we ruined his marriage or something.
​
Well anyway, my girlfriend has a history of being abused sexually and emotionally and she's been in therapy for awhile. It was super fun to find out that her best friend was moving far away, probably never to be seen again. If that were the end of it, though, there wouldn't be an issue. Instead of just leaving, she decides to hit up my girlfriend for one last "hoorah." She had a plan to go to that spa and spend the day together, then rent a hotel and "fuck all night," her words.
​
My girlfriend has recently had a lot of perspective put in her life, and decided to open up to me about it, but didn't really plan to do anything about it because not only is she/ was she her best friend, she was pretty much her only friend. Which of course just makes everything 100x worse.
I'm pretty sure that marriage is on thin ice - so do I tell the husband about his wife's plan, ruin my girlfriend's friendship, the friend's marriage, possibly put some strain on my own relationship, and possibly put a massive target on my back, or do i just let them move away and try to pretend it never happened?
I know if it were me, i'd want to be told... but... also this might make me the biggest asshole on the planet.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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|
b7dp7y
|
{
"description": "wanting to do something else without my friends",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to do something else without my friends?
|
So my friends and I have a chat group of 5 people where two of them live in another city. Those two messaged us on Wednesday saying hey we’re coming to your town on Friday to sunday. Does anyone have any place to sleep for us? I responded "yeah ofcourse, and we’ll have to make sure we go out for drinks while you’re down here". They sort out a place to sleep with another guy in the group and that’s that. So Friday comes, I don’t text them, they don’t text me, without telling me they go and have a dinner with the remaining two people in the snapchat group and some other people that I know at one of the friends in the groups place, who lives right by me, and then message me after the dinner if I wanna go out, thing is, the clock is now 23.30, and I say screw that it's too late, I haven’t pre drinked or anything so I don’t go. I feel pretty left out that they didn’t invite me for dinner/pre drinks. That being said I didn't ask them on friday what they were up to.
We’re supposed to meet today to eat and chill, but no one wants to go out tonight like me because they’re hungover. I just wanna ask them why they didn’t invite me for pre drinks. Option two is to say fuck it and say I can’t go tonight and do something else without them which is what I really feel like.
Am I the asshole for reacting this way? I had the chance to text them if I wanted to on Friday but I didn’t.
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HISTORICAL
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azun13
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"description": "taking this guys bucket at a construction site",
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|
AITA for taking this guys bucket at a construction site?
|
This happened last year, and I keep going back to it because I feel I could've handled this differently.
TL;DR - Had my bucket stolen, I took this guys bucket, he got mad and wanted to fight me, we threw some punches.
Last year I worked in concrete inspections. I have to take samples of concrete with a bucket and do my testing on them. I work at various job sites throughout the week, sometimes things go missing so I keep a stern eye on my things because workers like to take whatever they see lying around.
So I have 2 buckets, one is to collect the concrete and the other is for water for certain tests and to clean my equipment. Before the concrete truck arrived, I leave my buckets on the ground floor and I step away for a minute to talk to the general contractor. When I return I notice one of my buckets was missing. This is frustrating because I need that bucket to collect my sample, this $2 bucket is crucial.
So I decide to go look for my bucket, one of the workers informed me that he saw some of the guys take it to the 3rd floor. So I walk up there and see some guys working but I don't see my bucket. I see a bucket sitting on some plywood, it wasn't mine but I was frustrated and tired so I decided if they were going to take my bucket I'll just take theirs, no big deal right? Bucket for bucket. This bucket had some rolls of plans in them, so I take them out and set them to the side.
I take this bucket back downstair, the truck arrived and I take my sample. Some time passes by when I hear this man's voice in broken English go "Excuse me, boy, where did you get that bucket", I told him "I got it upstairs, one of your guys took my bucket so I took one back"
This man go really fucking angry for no reason, I swear it was like I murdered his son. He goes "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING TAKING MY SHIT, DUMP THAT SHIT OUT AND PUT IT BACK OR I'LL PUNCH YOUR FUCKING MOUTH"
At this point I got a white flash of furry and replied "Fuck yourself you fucking cock sucker, you're going to take one of my buckets I'll take one of yours, get any fucking closer and I'll make you swallow your balls you bald fuck" (prime r/imabadass content)
He then proceeds to push me to ground, I imedietly got back up, kneed him in the balls, kicked his hard hat off and started punching him in the back of his head. He was able to get back up and land a few punches on me. The workers
The GC came running and saw the whole thing. He told that guy to go home and asked me if I was ok. Apparently this isn't the first fight this man has gotten into on this job site. The GC told me not to worry, I'm not in any trouble, the guy was being a prick over a stupid bucket.
I feel I could've handled that a whole lot differently
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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ed1ESxMl1zPDgFOaw3rbWT7mNM8gtGA8
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apq7ij
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{
"description": "being upset that my gf danced with someone in front of me",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 15
}
|
AITA for being upset that my (23m) gf (23f) danced with someone in front of me?
|
So my gf and I have been together for 18 months, but she has cheated on me in the past (7 months ago), and so honestly I get jealous easily. We fight about it on occasion, with her being upset that I’m still jealous after 7 months without incident and me requesting that she show compassion and love when I feel anxious and jealous. We’re in South America traveling together and I told her day one, if you dance with other guys, just make sure they’re old. I won’t feel jealous if you’re dancing the salsa, a super sexual dance, with a 60-70 year old. Welles are in Colombia and we met a couple of fellows (25ish) from here who invited us to a bar. One of them was sober enough to sustain an interesting conversation, but the other was drunk and fumbling over his words a bunch. Well the latter asked my girlfriend to dance and she obliged; after a couple songs they say back down. I tried not to fee too jealous, as he was real drunk and I want to trust my gf enough to let something like that happen. Then, they get up to dance again and as they’re getting up I say, “I wouldn’t do that if I were you” to her. They danced and not long after we left, my gf and I. Walking back to the hostel, she got mad at me for asking her not to dance with the drunk guy. Said that he was real drunk and that I should have known she wasn’t going to do anything more than dance with him, regardless of the ground rules I established or our history. Am I the asshole for being upset with her in this situation?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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WRONG
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as0tvs
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{
"description": "lying to my parents and telling them I'm infertile",
"pronormative_score": 68,
"contranormative_score": 10
}
|
WIBTA if I lie to my parents and tell them I’m infertile?
|
I (F) have tokophobia, a phobia which makes childbirth almost impossible for me. I have no desire to get pregnant because I’m terrified of the pregnancy process, childbirth, pain, and the effects on my body post childbirth. I’m also emotionally sensitive and am susceptible to severe depression and anxiety, which I inherit from my mother, and I know that she experienced postpartum depression after I was born.
I know that if I go through pregnancy, I’m going to suffer horribly, both physically and emotionally. I’ve also attempted suicide when I was younger and I’m terrified those thoughts could spring back. I’m terrified I won’t love my baby or my life because of my hormonal mood swings and depression, and I might do something stupid.
So I don’t want to be pregnant. I would be much happier using a surrogate mother or adopting. My husband would prefer biological children, but he’s willing to support me with whatever decision I make.
The issue is that my parents (my mom specifically) are desperate for grandchildren. My older sisters haven’t had kids yet — one of my sisters is gay with marital issues, and my other (straight) sister is having trouble finding someone compatible with her lifestyle. So me, being the youngest and in a relationship with a man, are my parents best hope.
I’ve brought up my fears of pregnancy before and my mother told me that I “better get pregnant”, she wants a biological grandchild (really weird to me, I can understand wanting biological kids, but why grandkids?). I know she would judge me harshly and we already have a really rocky relationship.
I want to lie to her and tell her that I’m infertile and can’t get pregnant. This would be so much easier than telling her, and I feel like she would accept my future children more knowing that I had no other option.
Would I be the asshole? It would be a lie about my decisions, but it wouldn’t be lying about who the child’s genetics actually belong to or where they came from.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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annp4n
|
{
"description": "being concerned about one of my roommate's cat",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
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|
AITA for being concerned about one of my roommate's cat?
|
So i have a couple of roommates, one I've lived with I'll call N, and the other who I'll call K. They both have cats. N's cat was a taken in stray that has FIV. We recently took it to the doctor and confirmed that.
K's cat does not have FIV or shots because they can't afford them I guess? They also live in a trailer in our yard and are watching a dog of their family's or something.
If they weren't watching the dog, K's cat would be in the trailer but instead they stuck the cat in our middle bedroom because they don't want their cat to get in a fight with N's cat.
This is about concerns of getting the FIV from the other cat. This is despite the fact that N's cat can be in a cage while K's could roam around in the living room and vice versa.
What I don't like is that the middle bedroom is small and they basically leave the cat in there all day.
K's daughter is watching the cat but is usually in the living room. That cat is left alone for the most part except for water and food and cleaning the litter box when it's used up. They're always crying and pawing at the door and it crushes my heart.
Everyone in my home keeps saying it's for the best with the current situation and everyone is doing the best they can but it still doesn't feel right.
K's daughter is very short tempered as well, if they hear the cat crying a lot of the time they will drop what they're doing and get annoyed. They'll slam the door, throw stuff, and so on. The daughter treats the needs of the cat like some annoying chore.
I've voiced concerns and my roommates don't seem to care about my opinion. Again, "everyone is doing their best" they say.
I just don't know what to do.
|
HISTORICAL
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b85pcz
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{
"description": "telling a chinese-american she doesn't look american",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 52
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|
AITA for telling a Chinese-American she doesn't look American?
|
Throwaway because this happened with a coworker.
​
I am a tall white man (6'4") and think that I look stereotypically "American." I'm big and broad and have blue eyes and I don't speak anything other than English. I was talking with a coworker who is Chinese-American (I know she was born in the US and obviously is American but she looks ethnically Chinese).
I was talking to her about future travel plans and she mentioned she'd love to visit the Middle East. I'm just thinking about all the crazy stuff that happens there and told her that I would be too worried to go because I look "American" but it makes sense that she feels like she could go because she looks Chinese. She got really huffy and asked what I meant and I told her she could pass off as Chinese (she even speaks it!) whereas I don't look anything but American and I'd be scared for my life if I went. She then got even more pissed off and told me I don't get to dictate who looks American and who doesn't.
I still don't think I did anything wrong, I wasn't calling her non-American but just that when someone looks at her they might not automatically assume she's American whereas it's way more obvious that I am. AITA?
​
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HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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akjqls
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{
"description": "telling my GF's friends about how they're tearing us apart",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA since I told my GF's friends about how they're tearing us apart?
|
Dear Redditors, am I the asshole since I told my GF's friends about how they're tearing our relationship apart?
So a little backstory which is really important. My GF, GF for short and her Ex, Ex for short used to date. Obviously. Long story short he was the asshole. No doubt about it. Her friends had been warning her about him, and nearly 2 years later it all came crashing down. Now, during this time period, her friends had hated Ex so much that they wouldn't invite them both to things for fear of him coming along with her. As a result, and as a result of the fact that she was extremely busy at the time as well, she didn't spend much time with them back then.
Now, current day. I/Me short for me/I, have been dating her for about the past 6 or so months. It was all peachy at the beginning. We were able to go on occasional dates, every few weeks or so, and we'd spend time before class and during lunch together in her car. We didn't get to spend too much time together, but it was what we had and we were fine with it. During that time, GF had also been spending more time with a lot of her friends. About an equal amount of time with me and with her friends. So it was pretty good. And I'm not the jealous sort, at least not usually.
But she'd been spending more time with her friends and they were loving it. Cut to second semester and all of that has changed. We're both so busy, both with work and with a school that we haven't gone on a date in a long time. Maybe two or so months. We both spend as much time as we can together in her car(Nothing inappropriate mind you), mostly because that's the only time that we can spend together. Per week I only get to spend about 3 hours with her.
Now rumors are starting to spread about her and me within our friend group. A few of our friends are starting to call her a thot and a slut, they think that we're having rampant sex 24/7. Now the problem is, she's never had sex. I've never had sex. We have no intention of having sex anytime soon. And they know this, yet they keep spouting it out. I didn't really care about it, but GF, she was getting really sad about it.
So that happens. And then we finally get to go out on a date, but then her friends pressure her into going out with them instead. Now usually I'd be fine with this. Afterall there will be another time to go on a date with this amazing woman. Except for the fact that for the next 3 or so months, just like for the past 2 or so months, we haven't had time. This was the first time. And it's not even that this was the first time that this has happened. The car time with her, when we can just talk, or lay down, or do whatever, is dependant on her not having a period after lunch and me simply not being hungry like ever. But her friends will pressure her into going out for lunch with them, further limiting the amount of time I can spend with her, and she goes with them. Even though she has no intention of eating. But she's forced to go with them because the other person's car is too small to fit everybody. So she needs to drive others.
Now she recognizes that they're pressuring her into it. But to an extent, she feels guilty. After all, she didn't go to half the things that happened while she was still with Ex. And she wants to make up for lost time. But what she doesn't remember is that they purposely didn't invite her to things. And then now they use these things they didn't invite her to, to guilt her into spending more time with them.
Now at this point, I'm starting to get PO'd. After all, I've only spent a net total of two hours with her this week and they've successfully made her drive and ended a date. Further reducing the amount of potential time. So the next day we're all in class. We all have one class in common, and one of them says "You never do anything with us" to her. Typically I would have just let this slide. After all, I know how important they are to her, and I know how important I am to her. But because of an earlier comment about her being a slut, I couldn't resist.
I started laying into them about stopping. Telling them how little time we spend together, telling them about how we don't have sex. Telling them that they're constant manipulation is actually damaging our relationship and as much as I love her, they're seriously making me consider ending it all. Just so that I don't have to hear her say "they called me a slut" again. I must have played into them for about 15 minutes. Just refuting every claim they made. "You spend more time with her than we do!" "No you all have sports with her, and other activities and spend about 2 hours a day with her. I get 2 hours a week!" "You guys are constantly fucking!" "No, we aren't. Sure we cuddle and kiss and whatnot, but that's relatively rare. It's much more likely that she's buried her head in my shoulder and is crying about some comment you arses made!"
So, in the end, it was about 15 minutes of us shouting at each other about how little time we each got to spend with her. And they ended up pretty pissed. My GF was on my side, after all, she had forgotten(as the comment was only made in passing) that they simply didn't invite her to many of those things. It was one massive shitshow. And now they're pissed at me. One of them told me to apologize. And I pretty much told her to kindly piss off. So yeah that happened. So, am I the asshole for laying in on them for all that, or are they the asshole for perpetuating all of that?
​
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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aicz4b
| null |
AITA Am I too impatient?
|
TL;DR Is four months of dating too fast to want a relationship or am I too impatient. Should I have stayed his friend or was it the right dicition to try and move on?
I'm a dude and I was talking to a dude. So we recently got back together after like 4 or 5 later. Initially we got together as like a hookup dating thing and I was 22 and he was 27. He asked to be boyfriends like 3 weeks in and I wanted to so I said sure but after I reevaluated my life and it wasnt conducive for a relationship dead end job lived about 30 mins away and it just wasnt wasnt gonna work and I told him as much. So we drift apart but we will see each other out occasionally still hookup a couple of times. Skip to now I'm moving into his neighborhood he helps me move in we reconnect we spend the month dating and I tell him about some of my baggage and he says that doesn't bother him and then I ask if we were gonna be going any farther in our relationship. He says he is fresh out of a really bad 2 1/2 year relationship and wants to take things slow and for things to develop naturally. So we date from about mid October to this weekend. We can only see each other on the weekends and we hardly have sex (3 times in 4 months 0.o) which is vastly different from before where we couldnt keep our hands off each other. I'm a very straight forward so I'm bringing up these issues with him trying to work with him but he's either unresponsive or contrarian. Eventually I was just like this isn't working for me and he wants to still be friends and hang out and I really didn't want that. I'm I an asshole for cutting a dude off that i still have feelings for should I have been more patient?
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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LgN9FurWwpslyWLp2v1dnyDyG4ESAibp
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b8fy74
|
{
"description": "feeling more of a connection to one dog and not the other",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITAH for feeling more of a connection to one dog and not the other
|
Hey everyone, this might be terrible in some peoples eyes, but maybe not in others, please don’t attack me if you feel strongly about what I am going to ask here, although honest opinions are very welcome.
So my girlfriend and I have two dogs, a Shitzu named Ella and a Carolina Dog named Nena. I took in Ella from my uncle after he passed, she was his dog for a few years before I got her. Now Nena I adopted from a shelter a few months ago. So if I am being completely honest, I feel more of a personal connection with my Carolina dog, she was a rescue who suffered from neglect, thank goodness she wasn’t physically abused, but she was left chained up outside for the first two years of her existence on earth. Apparently she was part of a puppy mill, at just two years old she’s already had two litters. When I adopted her she immediately fell in love with me, we do everything together! She stays by my side at all times and won’t go anywhere unless she can see me. Please don’t get me wrong, I love my shitzu to death also, but just by looking at her, she definitely prefers my girlfriend and their bond is as strong as my Carolina Dog and I. I’d like to ask if you all think this is me being the asshole, or if my situation is completely understandable. Please take this question with a grain of salt and try to understand where I’m coming from!
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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aoxozq
|
{
"description": "doing laundry at my boyfriend's apartment",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for doing laundry at my boyfriend's apartment
|
My boyfriend lives in an apartment added on to a one family house. The laundry is in the mudroom basement and it's shared. My apartment doesn't have a washer and dryer so my options for washing clothes are laundromat or boyfriend's place. His house is in the country so it's very obvious when I show up on the weekend and beeline for the basement with a laundry basket. When I'm done with my laundry I often do my boyfriend's too.
Well I just ran into the landlady and she said she feels used and that I should have asked before doing my laundry regularly. My boyfriend and I feel like since he has free reign to use the w&d and I'm his guest we shouldn't have had to ask.
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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|
b2sbnm
|
{
"description": "reporting my ex for fraud",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if i reported my ex for fraud?
|
Standard on my phone so sorry for typos etc introduction
I'm in Australia and for those that aren't familiar we have Centrelink which I guess is like welfare. My ex works 5-6 days a week, getting $800+ which Centrelink does not know about and the pay gets put into his bank without having to pay tax as well, he's also claiming disability because of "depression" (although he does have depression he's able to obviously work, it's just an excuse to get out of job search, he's admitted that to me in the past) so gets another $700 a fortnight.
We have a son together, Centrelink believing he isn't working he has to pay bare minimal in child support ($22 a month) so we came to the agreement that that he pays an extra $100 a week which I don't think is that much of a stretch when you're getting $2300+ a fortnight and he gets our son every weekend for 2 nights, sometimes extra nights if asked for. Sometimes chooses not to have him at all for the weekend.
Since December last year in total he has given me $200. Considering I lived with him for 2 years I know what he is like so I know he doesn't plan on giving me any of the $1200 he owes me so I'm thinking of notifying Centrelink and possibly the tax department of his fraud.
WIBTA if I did this as this is my son's father and he could get in a lot of trouble. But I don't feel it's fair that he can get away with not contributing to the support of our son when he earns more than double what I earn.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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ae9aep
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{
"description": "not wanting to drive my girlfriend to class all the time",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to drive my girlfriend to class all the time?
|
So me and my gf live together and currently in college. Long story short, she had a real bad car accident two years ago and doesn't want to drive in college. Honestly, she doesn't want to drive at all. She has arthritis and despite her job being across the street, she asks me to pick her up.
Well school started for her this week and she has classes on both Mon, tues, wed, and thurs while I have classes on tues and thurs. So I can take her to classes on tues and thurs no problem. It only sucks on monday and wednesday. She only has one class, so I pick her up and either wait two hours in the city or go home for an hour to pick her up.
Honestly, I am just tired of driving her around if its not easy for me to do so. We already discussed that this only last until we move. For some info, its really shitty to drive here cause its historic. Small roads, no parking, grid-like with a lot of one ways and trees that block your view, your always behind dumb horse and trolly tours, and lot of dumb pedestrians.
I know that being in a relationship means making sacrificies, but honestly its grinding my gears having to drive her around every day.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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ab8fex
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{
"description": "wanting to get my ex fired",
"pronormative_score": 21,
"contranormative_score": 18
}
|
AITA for wanting to get my ex fired?
|
Long story short, I recently got out of an extremely abusive relationship with someone who has been diagnosed with mental health issues but continually blamed me for their problems. My ex boyfriend, continuously belittled, hurt me, put me down, and called me names (slut, whore, fat- knowing I have an eating disorder, etc). He recently contacted me just to make sure I was aware that he still was in possession of nudes I sent him while in a relationship (none with my face).
I also recently found out, from him, that he is now working at a Christian college as a teacher, when he doesn’t even have a bachelors. I have screenshots of him calling me a cunt, that he wishes my last boyfriend before him had killed me, that I’m a whore, and most notably that he cheated on me, and has also been in a relationship that involved premarital sex the past few months.
Would I be the asshole if I went to his place of work and showed them these screenshots? Since he’s working at a very Christian school, they would almost definitely fire him for doing these things (he told me a story about how they did something similar to another employee).
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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UNxOMOpS0B2tSpcBJE2hX7ZQmNPYKsi7
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9xrl0e
|
{
"description": "ending a friendship with a girl who joked about my anxiety/depression not being as severe as hers",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for ending a friendship with a girl who joked about my anxiety/depression not being as severe as hers?
|
So I’ve known this girl ever since I started school, things have kind of been on and off the whole time and I was in the middle of an awful period so I reached out to her for help. She basically laughed in my face because ‘I wasn’t as strong as she was’ so after that I cut all contact with her and she found any way possible to try get back at me but I’ve ignored her every time.
Am I the asshole for deserting a friend who could’ve used help from me?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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iTTey90H5R1rOUSejLzI7mm0zVpKjBKE
|
9urm9e
|
{
"description": "reporting a cheater in college",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for reporting a cheater in college
|
This should be short and to the point, and I don't want to give away any personal details like our school or major. I use to be cool with this guy at a university i attend. we have the same major so we occasionally get into the same classes and would sit next to each other. He gets good grades and comes across and very successful in our field, but I know for a fact that he cheats on all of his test. He will either tuck a cheat sheet under/on his lap or just copy answers from someone when the professor isn't looking. After the last test I reported him to the professor. Nothing has been done about it yet, but he will (hopefully) be watch much closer during the next test.
I feel bad about it because we used to be close and he has a wife and newborn baby, but I'm sick of seeing people who cheat making to the top while the rest of us work our asses off just to get by. I'm not sure what will happen if he gets caught on the next test, but i assume he will fail the course and reported to academic affairs.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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RSD3U8YkID5EwPcODOta3l15Zv2Xnv2h
|
ah79qc
|
{
"description": "packing up my stbx-roommate's things",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I packed up my STBX-roommate's things?
|
My soon to be ex-roommate is moving out by the end of the month. They have taken the bulk of their things to their new rental but they have left some odds and ends behind. I would like to put the things they left behind that I have found while reorganizing (things that were in cabinets or left behind in the bathroom) into a box and set it aside for them to get. Eass of access for them and it gets their items out of the way for me.
Here is where I need to know if IWBTA. We have not been getting along and things are tense between us right now. Mostly due to a lack of communication on their part but also due to me being unable to keep my frustration to myself. They cannot commit to plans they make and as much as my obvious frustration is adding to their stress, their flaky behavior is adding to mine. We are both rather done with each other.
Would doing this look too much like a passive aggressive attempt to tell them to get their shit and leave based on the tension? Or would they be an asshole if they were angry at me for putting their things aside?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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cWdePdUhfcg8Kg44XAqkfead8pm9joMz
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azvf7o
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{
"description": "cutting contact with my mother until she cuts contract with my abusive ex",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for cutting contact with my mother until she cuts contract with my abusive ex?
|
My ex boyfriend from when I was in my early twenties was a raging alcoholic. He was jealous, awful, short tempered and a serial cheater. He was my first boyfriend after I had come out and I dealt with it because I was young and in uni and didn't know better. After we broke up it got so bad that I had almost got a restraining order because he wouldn't leave me alone.
Now a decade later I'm finally in a good place. I'm months away from marrying my partner of nearly 10 years and my life is going well. Except for my mother putting my ex in the picture. He has sobered up and found Jesus. Despite my mother then never accepting our relationship she's now all over him.
They're both adults. He's 32 and although I understand that she can have whatever friends she want I do think she's being very insensitive to what he has put me through. All those years ago she has constantly put her faith over me and when we are finally reaching a point where I want to have her in my life and involved in my new life with my husband she decides to do this.
She is constantly inviting him over when I'm visiting despite us being in the middle of planning my wedding. She's bringing him up in conversations and pushing his religious rebirth on me despite knowing that I'm not interested in taking on her faith. The worst was when she invited him to Christmas dinner without any notice while my fiance was there.
So, AITA for cutting her off until she realises that she is being insensitive. I'd rather have her cut off contact with him.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
bJ2UojJ5kNuISIEaR1FWoBVTNvwpGiFk
|
9wtjbd
| null |
AITA? Weird situation, please advise!
|
Hi guys! I have an interesting statement and was wondering if I could get some insight.
To preface, the members involved in this situation are my grandmother (who does not like me and I currently live with to help out as she's getting older) and a friend I have had since middle school. My grandmother is kind of awful to me, but I have chalked that up to her just having mental illness and not taking care of it (her doctor gives her medication for anxiety and paranoia and she doesn't take it most of the time). She's also a narcissist, and I've done my best to handle living there to help (the reason I'm there is also a long and kinda messed up story). My parents live 10 minutes away.
Anyways:
Around the beginning of October/end of September, my grandfather fell ill and upon taking him to the hospital we found out he had stage four gastric cancer and the outlook was around a month (he passed away exactly a month after coming home on Nov 1st 2018). While he was still in the hospital, my friend from middle school texted me randomly and told me that her mom was kicking her out by the end of the week and she only had a temporary place to stay for a week and then she wasn't sure what she was going to do and that none of her friends were local enough (she doesn't drive) to be able to get to work and her boyfriend was a busy person and didn't want her to move in. I told her our situation with my Papaw but that I'd ask if she could stay for the month and we could figure out rent and possibly help because he would be home on hospice (my grandmother didn't like random aids coming in all the time).
I asked my grandmother and she was okay with it. I also asked if she had a number in mind to charge and she didn't - but we were also all busy getting my grandfather home and comfortable, including me taking some time off to help get him home and set up with hospice. It was a lot for her, and I was happy to have him home. Part of this agreement with my friend ending up being for a month. This included me driving her to and from work and taking her to the three places she 'lived' at to get her belongings. I knew she was kind of a slob, so I took into account the mess she might make, along with meals, gas for the month, etc. My friend suggested and agreed to $400 for that month, and it made sense (especially since it was happening so fast and we were on a time crunch on top of what I needed to do to get her there). It was agreed upon, and actually her mom reimbursed her around $500 (I think she started feeling guilty when friend was true to her word about leaving, not that she had a choice), so not a bad gig. Nothing was signed but it was all in texts, so I got to work getting her space together and getting her to our home. In this time, I forgot to tell my grandmother we agreed on $400 for gas and if she messed up the room. In my defense, a lot was happening all at once as I was trying to juggle work, home obligations and now being back in college part time after having dropped out.
Fast forward about a week and a half of her living there and going to work, my garage door remote went out. Friend works at CVS and she noticed and bought watch batteries and some toilet wipes for my grandfather or if we needed. If asked if she wanted her money back, she replied: "Oh not at all, you guys really are helping me out after my mom kicked me out and it's my pleasure." That was the end of it. Then, the next week she got her car and her license. Awesome, right? No. After a couple days driving it, she was out driving to a party and then her bf's around 2am and she totaled it. She smokes and drinks, but has denied that she was under the influence when she crashed. She stays a little after her month and I tell her that it's already been a month! That we will have to sit down if you want to stay or help you get your car situation sorted (my dad is a very knowledgeable car guy and was willing to help her sort through it). Instead, she tells me she wants to go home and is incredibly unhappy. That quote, "your grandfather just really stresses me out and I think it's best to go home." Okay, fine. Don't blame my sick grandfather for having cancer, but I get it. She was in a car accident, she is now stuck with this totaled car and back to square one (note: her mom bought the car too, she did not pay for it). It was shitty, but she wanted to go and never told me how she felt. So she packed a good amount of her stuff a little after the month of November and left (edit: she finally came and retrieved the rest of her things 11/13).
She wasn't there the night my grandfather died. But when he was taken away via the funeral home to be cremated, I texted her the news. She was sorry and said he was a good man. Everything going on, things get crazy. But then I get a text from her saying she wants her money back and that she only stayed with us for a couple weeks. False.
I told her gently no. That we agreed on the amount and she stayed the month. Upon looking at her room, she damaged part of a dresser and left pop cups out to seep (seap?) through the bottom of the cup, leaving water damage on a wood chest that was my grandmother's. Needs to be refinished. She then says, "You ripped me off when I had nowhere else to go and that is pretty low of you. I want my money back." I said no. For what I did and now for what I have to fix, I feel I'm justified in her rent. She then demanded I give her back the money for the batteries and the wipes as that was extra. At no point in time, even when asked, did she want it or indicate she needed it back. I'm confused, and upset (not at the money, but the fact she wasn't upfront and also couldn't wait a week after his passing to come at me full force).
On top of that, when I told my grandmother about all of it, she lashed out and said that the $400 was hers completely, not mine. I don't pay rent there, but I buy groceries and have helped with bills recently because my grandmother complains she can't do it on her own anymore. Which, I guess I understand to an extent - but it was my responsibility to pay and fix damage and including gas for the month (I pay about $20-30 in gas a week). I offered to give her half, but it wasn't good enough. My grandmother is also loaded and typically nickels and dimes people for pity, even my dad (her son). This is partially why nobody has stayed with her. Why did i? Well, probably because I genuinely love and miss my grandfather to pieces. It hurts. This is all a confusing and weird and shitty situation to the point where I regret opening my home to her, especially while she knew we were losing him.
Also, I get a text today from the 'friend' stating that when she went and removed the rest of her belongings, my grandmother tried to atone and give her $200 of her rent back. I was livid. Why?
Am I the asshole? My sister, mom, and colleague do not think so - that I did what I had to do in a shitty, high emotion situation and that my grandmother is being manipulative to get attention and my friend, well... yeah.
​
Thanks, guys.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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|
WRONG
|
Hlbkq2abGjXGSLju5CykhsbUtU1NR2kF
|
b1sdg4
|
{
"description": "being open about my mental health at work",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being open about my mental health at work?
|
I used to work a corporate job, so I know standards of conduct. You don’t show weakness. You keep certain things private.
Coming out of a severe bout of depression that cost me my previous career, I decided not to live that way anymore. I wasn’t fooling anyone.
I have serious damage to my memory, my ability to multitask is gone, and my energy isn’t enough for full-time. I’ve been working on these problems with teams of medical specialists. This is as good as it gets for now.
I’m working my way off disability in a simpler, lower-paying job than the one I had before. In the job interview, I had to tell them why I was there. I was honest.
At first, I cried often and I made a lot of mistakes. I’ve been steered away from some tasks and put to use in other ways. But I didn’t ask to be given more grace than my employer could spare. Even so, my boss gave me a lot of room to grow slowly and was very understanding.
A year later I am doing much better, well enough that I can pass for normal most of the time.
Sometimes people ask me about my past, my education, and then ask why I’m not working at a high-paying job anymore. If they’re polite about it and I’m comfortable, I tell them that I can’t do what I used to because of brain injuries. I skip the details and shrug it off as “life happens”. It’s the truth. I’m not ashamed. It’s not like I’m endangering anyone in my position.
Recently, a person senior to me at work, L, has decided to coach me on how to present myself more professionally. She’s pushing me to lie. She tells white lies about other stuff, but always in a savvy business way. Her skill works to the company’s benefit. I’m not comfortable with it, but I’ve never seen it go badly for her/us.
The other day I was talking with a coworker in front of L. I turned down an invite as it was at the same time as my therapy. L corrected me for saying “therapy” and told me I should have said I had a different kind of appointment (make one up).
I’m annoyed by this because 1. It was a private conversation in which everyone present knew my issues anyway, 2. You don’t have to be crazy to go to therapy, 3. Even if there’s stigma, I’d like to live in a way that rejects that, thereby reducing fear and 4. I used to be a respected professional, I know what the expectations are, and I’m ignoring them on purpose. We’ve talked about this. She knows that’s what I’m doing.
Oh, and the few times I’ve ever called in, I’ve told my boss the truth. If I have a cold, I’ll say so. If I can’t do people today, I’ll say that. It’s rare. I don’t want to change the way I do this.
My boss knows everything and hasn’t weighed in. Unless she’s pretending not to be involved and just gave L free reign instead? But I guess I could be costing us something in terms of trust or reputation just by being open?
I don’t want to be ungrateful and stubborn. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
yFYV3rSW7mxdmtC6WeaZZa20MNduYPTx
|
aoqwcb
|
{
"description": "submitting a report for a class without adding another student's name",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I submitted a report for a class without adding another student's name
|
I'm in my master's, and one of the tasks for a class was to create a program and also write a report of about 10 pages about the subject treated with the program and the program itself.
Everyone in class had to work in groups of 2, I found myself with someone who had been lazy all year. About a week after this class had started, one night I decided I would get starting and created this functional program (there was still stuff missing and I had to make it "prettier") but a good part of the work was done. When shown to the professor he said it was good and that we should work on a second method to treat the same problem so that afterwards we can compare both methods. As I had already done the first method I told my colleague he should do the second method, no problem.
Months went by and he didn't do any of the work on it, when I learnt about this I was kinda mad (but never expressed it) and have been trying to avoid this person for as much as possible.
The deadline is coming up and I have also started working on the report for it. I haven't told him that I started it since 1. he wouldn't be able to write anything since he doesn't how my program works as well as I do, and 2. I first want him to finish this 'second method' so that he could write about that in the report.
Imagine if the deadline came, he didn't finish this second method and asked me about the report (so that he could maybe write 10 sentences somewhere) , would I be the asshole for not sharing the report doc and not adding his name to the work, knowing that this could make him fail his year ?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
E5aL2PujolrD1UPmBBERpNEfwp5hDGD4
|
af5zg8
|
{
"description": "calling out a customer",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for calling out a customer?
|
So this happened today, this entitled asshole always lurk outside a store I work at, haggling customers to give him change of their purchases, some would give him out of pity, and some would say they paid with card. So a cute girl enters the store and put 2 ramen noodles, they're 35c each and 3 for $1, so I told her and she grabbed the whole packet that consists of 24 packs, I gave her a discounted price and sold it for $6. She leaves the store and this EA asks her for change, she replied I paid with card but I'd buy you whatever you want from store. This leech bought gallon milk, most expensive bread we had, bacon and other stuff. When I scanned his items, total came out to $28. I was upset because the girl was sweet and wanted to a good deed for the day, and this EA asks her if he can buy cigarettes and alcohol too. I had it. I called him out that you exploit people who wants to do something good and take advantage of them. The girl also said she won't pay for alcohol/smokes but will buy groceries. She paid for his stuff and left. An hour later she came back to buy some other stuff and I told her about grifter that guy is. I know it's none of my business but while she came up with whole pack of ramen noodles, I asked her if she's student,(we have a community college and 3 uni nearby) and she said she goes to XY state. I go to same school so I understand the struggle. So when she came back I told her not to do the act of good to this assholes. She said she was upset because she didn't thought he'd put him back to $28. This guy has pulled shit like this to other people and I'm okay with the fact that his family gets something to eat, but the minute the person is out of his sight, he'd come back to store to convince me to give him alcohol in exchange of groceries. I feel bad for calling him out in front of the girl. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
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}
|
RIGHT
|
s7m8DY5Q5kIDVxfNUAXqj4uZHhdpZT01
|
b8kl7j
|
{
"description": "posting on FB about my father's death",
"pronormative_score": 21,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for posting on FB about my father's death?
|
I found out yesterday from my mom that my father had passed. It was sudden and he was only 49, but I don't know the details. I was the last family member she contacted. She told me it was basically "open" now.
I loved this man. He and I lived a year in the States together after he lost his job and his marriage fell apart. My other siblings did not come with. We grew apart as I headed off to college, but I tried to keep in close contact. Other than my mother (who had divorced him), I was closer to him than anyone. He was more than a father, but a brother and friend.
I felt it appropriate to make a post on FB. This is the primary mode of communication with my friends and peers. Maybe in hindsight I should have waited, but I am in grief.
Two of my sisters texted me very hostile messages condemning me posting about him. I was blown away. One said I should have waited "at least three days" and the other said "only tell people with your phone number." I was shocked. I had no idea there was a stigma around these kinds of posts. I apologized for making the post and wished them well. They are still furious with me. One of my brothers called me last night and he didn't seem to mind. I just feel so shitty both from grief and guilt that I've done something wrong to memorialize my father.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
kfp2BtiYkv2EW5sehONN1qjqPmir0hjl
|
akxsnj
|
{
"description": "telling people to not sit with me",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
WIBTA if I told people to not sit with me?
|
The library at the university I attend opens at 8 AM every weekday. There are som lovely couches that I like to sit in to study. There are two couches around a table, room for 6 people in total but only for 4 if we´re to sit comfortably i.e. to actually have som space to write and not bump elbows. The culture here is like this: If you are the first one to a spot, then you decide who gets to sit there. Strangers usually don´t sit with strangers. I´m almost always at the library before 8 AM to secure one of these spots for myself and for my friends.
​
I sit with one other person who studies the same as me (let's call her Naomi), and she arrives just after 8 AM, this is fine as we study very well together. I also save a spot for my sister who arrives sometime after 9 AM and two other people who don´t study the same as me. That's 5 people, so not really room for anyone else.
​
Sometimes, just after Naomi arrives two other people from our class also comes and wants to sit with us. Now, it's not that I don't like them, because they're really nice, but they talk and talk and talk, which means I can't concentrate on studying. They engage both me and Naomi in conversation, sometime for 2 hours, and that's not really the reason I'm at the library. At first they didn't ask if they could sit down, they just did, but they started to realize after a while that I save the spots for someone who's supposed to arrive just one hour after them, maybe not even that, and they don't even move then. But, when they arrive now one of them actually asks and when I'm about to say no, Naomi says yes. She likes witting with them, I get it, but I seriously cannot concentrate - I've also told her this. When I sit the the other people we actually study, probably because we're not studying the same stuff, which means we can't talk so much about out classes. I've also told the two in our class that they can sit with me and Naomi until the others arrive *(well, I did this twice)* but they **still** didn't move.
​
**So, WIBTA if I told those two people that they can't sit with us?**
​
*TLDR: Two people in my class wants to sit with me at the library, but I don't want to sit with them as I can't concentrate because they talk too much, and I'm saving the seats for someone else.*
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
Ah2DtKCpXgEYv4ZT4BftIOG5rpSyeRnB
|
afqi6x
|
{
"description": "calling my boyfriend tonight",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For Calling My Boyfriend Tonight?
|
My boyfriend and I have been together for about 4 months. We text and talk on the phone every day and see each other a couple of times a week.
​
Yesterday he texted me later in the day and said he was going to a concert with a friend. I told him that sounded awesome and I hoped he had fun. I finished up with work and hung out with some friends in the evening.
​
I didn't think much of it. I went to work today and after work I called him to see how he was doing and ask how the show went last night. He freaked out. He yelled at me for about 10 minutes for calling him, told me that I was being overbearing and that we didn't need to talk every day. I was (and am) honestly very confused. If he doesn't want to communicated on a daily basis that is fine, but up until this point, that is what we had been doing so I thought that was just normal?
​
The overbearing comment has me feeling especially confused because I basically "go with the flow" with him. I only come over when he invites me, I don't usually initiate conversation. I try to give him his space and have my own space because I haven't been in a relationship in a while and I'm trying to take it at a steady pace.
​
AITA for calling him?
​
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
lxvpOZN6707OxY3LdUNyOrwXI5F41PoP
|
asy9ty
|
{
"description": "being annoyed that my parents let my vegan son try cheese and for not letting him try animal products",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 38
}
|
AITA for being annoyed that my parents let my vegan son try cheese and for not letting him try animal products?
|
I have a 4 year old son who I’ve raised vegan since birth. I raise him this way for health and moral reasons. I’ve talked to him about why we don’t eat meat, he loves animals and agrees that animals are our friends and we don’t want to kill them when we can eat other stuff. My son is happy and healthy but of course it can be challenging sometimes when he’s around other people who have non vegan food. He sometimes stays with my parents and up until now as far as I’m aware they’ve stuck to vegan food with him, even though they don’t agree with it.
I went away last week for a few days and left my son with my parents. When I got back they told me that he wanted to try cheese so they let him. I was really angry because firstly he could have reacted badly to it, and secondly they destroyed my trust with them. They told me I was overreacting and that it was unfair of me to deny him from trying things. I told them they can forget about looking after him if they’re gonna go behind my back and do stuff like this without talking to me first.
The thing is, I’m gonna let him try stuff when he gets a bit older if that’s what he wants, but at this age I’m doing what I think is best for him. My son is now begging for real cheese at home,
AITA for being angry at my parents for this and not letting my son try stuff?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 14,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 16,
"WRONG": 38
}
|
WRONG
|
MnFF1ORQ6G6cFFQh0ggUeWHVNTV1OY5X
|
asqhnp
|
{
"description": "leaving a job right after recovering a failed server",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for leaving a job right after recovering a failed server?
|
I started a new job as IT Director for a small company (130 employees) 6 weeks ago. Going into the job, I had my projects outlined and prioritized. Priority number 1 was to get everything off of a server with a failing drive. This server hosted email and files. The server ended up crashing when I started migrating everything off of it, presumably because of the taxation I put on the drive. I kicked off a recovery of the server from backup and began moving everything off the server. For the past 2 weeks, I have been visiting each user personally and ensuring their mailboxes have all old emails as well as ensuring they can access all their files.
Before the server crashed, I had typed up my resignation, the business just wasn't a good fit for me and I was ready to move on. I haven't resigned yet because I want to make sure everything is working before I leave. I'm handing in my resignation today because everything should be working by the end of this week.
My question is, am I the asshole for leaving right after ensuring they are able to work? Do I need to keep working until their systems are optimized, or is "working" an acceptable state to leave them in? These 2 weeks have been 80+ hour weeks for me and have severely impacted my home life in a negative way.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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NOBODY
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RIGHT
|
IpfXZImi3PGYL90uhJLAR768lgamP5fr
|
ab1ou4
|
{
"description": "slapping my sister because she got intimate with our mom's bf",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 19
}
|
AITA for slapping my sister because she got intimate with our mom's BF?
|
Hello guys,
I've been in one hell of a situation for the past week and I've already explained my entire situation in great detail on a post in another sub, if anybody wants to know more about it pls check my history, it would be much appreciated.
The short version:
Me[21M], my sister [18F] and our mom [45F] live together since our parents got divorced, we had it pretty rough since then but eventually managed to work ourselves into a better position in those recent years. Me and my mom both are are working and evenly split the bills which is working fine, my younger sister is still attending school and she has always been kinda the troublemaker in our family, my relationship with her was good but my sis and my mom don't get along at all in the recent time ( actually for a year), it escalated in the recent time and unfortunately this wasn't just for a stupid reason, it is something big.
My mom got together with her new BF and they're in a relationship for about 6-7 months, they've done everything together but my mom never was ready to introduce him to us, we respected that and waited for when the right time comes.
Couple days ago I've seen my younger sister and mom's new bf in the city together, when I questioned her for what reason they've met she lied to me that he just wanted to know the family better but he didn't want to meet me yet, eventually ( I'm really trying to cut to the case) I confronted her about it and told her that I will tell our mom, She wanted me to keep it a secret at all costs, so she told me everything that happened.
- My sister got in contact with the guy because according to her she loves him, she insisted on meeting him and during their first meeting she tried to get intimate with him which she eventually succeded in. They kissed and had oral sex but my sis swears that they didn't do more than that, I, as bad as it is, told my mum about it in the morning today, she is absolutely devastated and broken to say the least, she doesn't know how to process at all.
When I finished explaining everything, my mom started crying and ran out, after that my sister came out of her room ( also crying) and repeatedly tried to justify what she did, I was so angry that I slapped her to the face.
My sister then spit me in the face and returned to her room. Since then we don't talk.
I feel so guilty for doing it and I don't know how I should talk to someone instead of you guys here, this whole situation is tearing our family apart and I have no means to stop it.
I first and foremost have to look after my mother, she's absolutely broken and needs the most help but apart from that I don't know what to do, on top of all that this incident made it even worse.
At the very least I managed to get this off my chest.....
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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EVERYBODY
|
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|
WRONG
|
eqTCM8VpA1a7XTAnt8aX6qiveY8JjIcw
|
avdqo8
|
{
"description": "leaving the company",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for leaving the company ?
|
Hi all, I am leaving my current company tomorrow. I am leaving after just 1 year in my current team. The team leader does not like it very much that I am leaving. He was very professional about it past weeks, but has been making jokes about me leaving so early. In the country, i am working in, it is not so common to leave the company after just 1 year. The reason I am leaving is that I want some new challenges. At my current work, it is too relaxed. I also mentioned this during the meeting. Now when he is hiring, he tells me that he does not want to hire the people from my country thinking that we all leave the company soon. I am now feeling bad that my country people will never be hired by this company again. I am currently in a very tough phase personally and also professionally. This has compounded my doubts about the decision to leave.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
xs5g5pJBLwyHzNmuVspLKNahWHQcJ7p0
|
9v0aet
|
{
"description": "wanting payment to tutor my brother",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 12
}
|
AITA for wanting payment to tutor my brother?
|
Parents wanted me to tutor my brother (17) for school and my dad expects it entirely for free, without question.
I get that he’s my brother and I would do it for free except for times where I’m busy as well. But my dad thinks I’m greedy and don’t care about ‘family’ because I’m talking about money..
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 12,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 12
}
|
WRONG
|
8qCh7VgGKGZipYdCGAFvLTzSnNdUmFUY
|
adfesv
|
{
"description": "physically stopping my uncle from punching his 18 YO son",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for physically stopping my uncle from punching his 18 YO son?
|
I will try to summarize a very dramatic family fight, the kind of which has **never** occurred before. My family went out to a really nice restaurant but the food and experience ended up being a disaster. Many things were sold out, drinks were terrible, food was very very late etc. Anyways, they comp'd the entire meal, and of course we say "alright don't forget to tip the waiters, it wasn't their fault." My uncle, who is quite rich, immediately disagrees. Instead of keeping my mouth shut and tipping extra, I argued with him and told him he was wrong in front of the entire family including his kids. It got heated, he had consumed at least 10 tequila shots that day (we are on vacation in Mexico) and he was getting enraged. We finally dropped it and left the restaurant.
​
However, then his son felt I think emboldened to keep running his mouth at his father in front of everyone. Calling him out of touch, up on his ivory tower, all sorts of harsh words. Finally I think his dad had enough because he ran at him, grabbed him by the collar, swung back, made a fist, and this is when I basically tackled my uncle (to be clear I'm 25, all the other nieces/nephews are kids) to stop him.
​
My family is hispanic, and my aunt basically told me i had no right to intervene, that it wasn't my business, and that he can do with his own children whatever he wants, especially when the kid was being so disrespectful. I simply felt that he was drunk, out of control, and completely unhinged. I didn't want him knocking out his kid for christ's sake. If he was going to slap him, ok, i don't agree, but not my business. But he went in with a closed fist. AITA?
​
TL;DR I definitely contributed to my uncle becoming enraged while drunk, his 18 YO son followed my bad example, uncle snapped and went to punch his kid in the face but I physically stopped him, almost having to fight him myself before my father intervened. AITA for getting involved between him and his son?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 11,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
sfOfvW5QIjvKKTstIGM0I3ZoVzE0S4TU
|
a0imqr
|
{
"description": "taking advantage of a small loophole when ordering my coffee",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for taking advantage of a small loophole when ordering my coffee?
|
I know it's a relatively small thing, but when I order my iced coffee's in the morning before work, instead of ordering the largest size with room for cream, I order the medium size and ask for it in the large cup. This saves me roughly 40 cents each time I order it, and I feel like I get the odd judgmental look from the cashier from time to time. If this is the kind of thing that makes me out to be an asshole, it's not worth the 40 cents to me.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
k5lgt0ioaq7l8uju0NGHojwsjQlVOHkb
|
b58cpr
|
{
"description": "being into my friends sister and so asking him to be my roommate",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA I was into my friends sister and so I asked him to be my roommate
|
Mobile User Warning
So this whole thing started about a year and a half ago and came to a head recently.
So at my Uni we have this program where Secondary students can come on campus for a night or two and see what it's like there.
Well around a year ago this guy stayed on campus wit I'mh my best friend and with that I found out that he was a pretty cool guy. I also found out that he has a sister who I once found extremely attractive, I have to admit, a portion of why I wanted to get this guy as my roommate. And Ill say that as of right here I am entirely the AssHole.
Here is where I start to feel like I might not be the AssHole, there have been several times since we moved in together where I would try to do things as roommates and he would complain incessantly. And this was before his sister started dating another guy.
Since then, every one of our interactions has basically been I say something and he either doesn't respond at all or takes a solid minute to respond. When we were first roommates he was really quite agreeable and as we have gone on, either my patience has waned or he has purposefully started to irritate me.
There have also been several situations where we have been playing games with our friends and he complains about doing 1v1s and the like and when we aren't doing 1v1s he uses spammy moves and the like which I would almost consider cheating, personally. It really irritates me when he does this and I will admit that I have made my snide remarks and I know I'm not perfect.
I understand that I need to be more patient, but at the same time I don't think it should be soley my responsibility to try and make it a positive relationship.
AITA?
TL:DR
My roommate and I started off our relationship positively and our relationship has deteriorated
|
HISTORICAL
|
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NOBODY
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|
RIGHT
|
wnuMgW723USAxrYmi0L0jBk88kIXfcUc
|
a7sgtq
|
{
"description": "hanging out with my friends ex",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for hanging out with my friends ex
|
So my friend broke up with his girlfriend about a month and a half ago(maybe a little longer). They were dating for about a year.I’ve known the girl and have been friends with her for about 2 years now. I started dating this girl who is best friends with the girl who dumped my friend. Their breakup has been really messy and it’s been chaos! My girlfriend invite this girl to go on a double date with us and we had a lot of fun. I told my friend because I wanted him to hear it from me and not someone else. He didn’t talk to me for a few hours and then finally when I tried to get something out of him, he started yelling at me and called me a snake. I said some things that I regret and I’ve since then apologized. He hasn’t responded yet, who’s wrong?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
FZUlSgDnfXRLFKRGEYB9VMWzyHqsyMTh
|
afln2h
|
{
"description": "getting into an argument in public",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for getting into an argument in public
|
So I’m out eating with my mom and her boyfriend. In a therapy session about a month ago, i confided that I harbor resentment towards my mom for having me because of how depressed I constantly am. I told her about this in a safe and private environment.
Over lunch, the topic of gift giving comes up casually. I mention that I give hints about things I like and jokingly say she doesn’t always pick up on them. Then she says “just another failure after giving birth to you, right?” Before sipping on her drink. I immediately whisper to her that she has “no goddamn right” to bring up my vulnerable thoughts so casually, to which she tells me that I said something “equally” mean. Then I’m forced to “leave the table,” with her saying she doesn’t care where I go “so long as you don’t cause more drama.”
AITA for losing my temper over that?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
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"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
EDuOVGmGOOMIdug4J4NihY9klACYFb0T
|
ai2588
|
{
"description": "leaving my girlfriend for getting an abortion",
"pronormative_score": 20,
"contranormative_score": 23
}
|
WIBTA for leaving my girlfriend for getting an abortion?
|
M27 F28, both graduated and have stable jobs. Been together 7 years.
So, long story short, I am pro-life.
When we learned that she was pregnant(around two weeks ago), I immediately resolved to be there for her and support her through every stage of the pregnancy.
Then, two weeks later, she tells me she wants an abortion, because she doesn't want the responsibility of having a child in her life just yet.
As it goes against my beliefs, I don't want her to have an abortion. But, I want to respect my girlfriend's right to choose.
I want to propose an ultimatum. The abortion or me. I am willing and wanting to sacrifice everything for this child, but if she isn't willing, then I don't want to impede her.
I also don't want to be the dick that proposes an ultimatum.
WIBTA?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 22,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 9,
"INFO": 2
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 20,
"WRONG": 23
}
|
WRONG
|
AeyW75zmJrlb686hI3HKH2f3KJlqX8Sk
|
awe1uc
|
{
"description": "not allowing my in-laws to treat my cat like he is theirs",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not allowing my in-laws to treat my cat like he is theirs?
|
I have a cat who is turning three in July. I got him when he was a baby, only a few months old, by running into him on the street. He immediately seemed to decide I was his human, and refused to leave my lap for several days.
When I got him in to a vet to get him neutered and checked out because he was not eating right, I learned he had been abused before I found him. Strangled, and traumatized. He would rarely get along with any other animal, had been in a few fights he instigated already, and was abnormally attached to me. So, I kept him to himself to prevent injury, and he has travelled with me for a couple years now.
I am living with my in laws, and from the moment we arrived they have ignored my instructions on him and pretended he is theirs. He is clearly uncomfortable, and often bites them when they get near him at all, but they don't seem to understand or care that he is not okay with them getting right up next to him.
I have to keep him in my room 24/7 because when we arrived, they already had two very large cats and five dogs, none of which are trained. The other animals frequently fight each other, snapping, biting and scratching while the in laws do nothing but scream at them until they are cowering. They keep insisting I am being horrible by keeping my cat seperated, but I cannot comprehend how they think this would end well.
Just yesterday I had to jump out of bed despite being pregnant and very ill just to break up a fight because they chucked one of the huge cats into my room and of course my cat attacked him. Because he has been traumatized. Because he does not get along with other animals. Like I have told them time and time again to no fucking avail.
I have no idea what to do. I am leaving for the weekend tomorrow and I am so fucking terrified that their strong opinion that I am just a moron who doesn't know anything and is set on abusing my cat will end up getting him seriously injured or worse, set for euthanization.
I know he hates being trapped in this room but our only alternative rn is homelessness, and I just want to keep him safe until I can move into my own apartment, but I keep getting called an abusive monster. Am I the asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
j0TYVzitSJP5ObIxxzSP4KYOLLSkHbf3
|
axq4f4
|
{
"description": "asking my aunt and her wife to move out of my apartment",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for asking my aunt and her wife to move out of my apartment?
|
Hi - sorry this is such a long story. Including a TL;DR at the end. Right now I am 31 weeks pregnant, due at the beginning of May. The apartment my husband and I live in is a three bedroom, but it is small- very small rooms and one bedroom is an office/storage space really. The apartment belonged to my grandparents, it's a rental, my husband and I lived with my grandfather for more than three years, helping to take care of him until he passed away last January.
My aunt definitely took care of my grandfather more than I did, and feels ownership over the apartment. She lived in it as a teenager with her parents and then again when my grandmother was sick. And she thinks she is the reason we get to be there. When my grandfather died she sold her apartment and her and her wife moved into my grandfather's second home near the beach. They have decided to renovate the home, but didn't want to miss the summer by the beach, so they postponed the renovations till fall. However, construction companies aren't just ready to go when you are, so things didn't get moving until late November.
Originally they were supposed to stay with us through this reno from October - January. But they didn't move in till November, saying they'd be out by March, but now the new timeline has them staying until the second week of April! I could give birth at any point in April, especially since baby is large. This leaves my husband and I with almost no time alone together, to prep and just be with one another. There has been some other drama (them preventing us from moving into the bigger bedroom because they "deserved it", them turning down offers to stay in someone else's currently empty home).
They do help us, but the most helpful thing would be to have them out of our space because we are currently updating our apartment to prepare for the baby. Both have family not too far away who live in large homes, with plenty of space for them.
From their perspective - we are my aunt's closest relatives, and they do a lot for us, they are probably most comfortable with us, and they don't want to move all their things again before being able to move into their home. Plus it is most convenient for them, near their friends, and allows my aunt's wife to continue her cleaning jobs nearby. Do my husband and I deserve some time alone or am I just being entitled and should suck it up for my family? Trying to decide what to do because we just found out the new timeline.
TL;DR: my aunt and her wife were meant to stay with us till their home was renovated, but the reno has been slow going and they plan to be with us almost until my pregnancy due date. Can I ask them to leave early if they can find another option?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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|
NOBODY
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
5Ump8fmnQfmTxE1Uj32iGHFKKkQK75tS
|
awdy6z
|
{
"description": "telling a trans coworker about some rumours and things I've overheard our manager say about him",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I told a trans coworker about some rumours and things I've overheard our manager say about him?
|
So, I work at a restaurant, and one of my coworkers (a host/cashier) is a senior in high school who is trans. Let's call him Aaron. I didn't know it at first, but he became comfortable enough with some of us to share this, and his new journey with hormone injections and the like.
Now, I don't know if Aaron personally told our boss about this, but it became apparent that our manager is now aware. This manager (let's call him Peter) is a shitty piece of work. I have seen him do terrible things, including attempting to groom/hitting on underage girls. More recently, I have heard him say some derogatory things to other coworkers about Aaron.
So I was talking with some of my coworkers that I'm friends with, and they told me they have heard Peter telling customers about Aaron, saying things like "Have you seen my 'it' that works here?" I was horrified, and asked if they had told Aaron about this, and they said no. They didn't want to hurt him.
So, I completely understand where they are coming from. One of them goes to school with him and has seen him be somewhat bullied, and doesn't want to drag that feeling to his work, too. Also, working at a part time job at his age, he will probably run into that sort of ignorance at a lot of minimum wage jobs, especially in our relatively conservative area.
On the other hand, Aaron is being outed (is that the correct word?) to complete strangers, and without his permission or even knowledge. I know that could potentially be dangerous for him.
The selfish side of it is also that I cannot afford to lose this job, and I feel my name would definitely come up if I told Aaron and he confronted Peter. Even if he didn't say my name, I would probably be the chief suspect. So I am nervous about that, too.
Also, while I have witnessed some of the terrible things myself, I didn't actually hear Peter mentioning Aaron to customers. I believe it of him, but I don't want to accuse him without actually being sure of it myself.
So reddit, would I be the asshole if I told Aaron about this?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
hnR4ahMYS72SGaZ3ImLkRslbDX3pt1JL
|
a5idj0
|
{
"description": "leaving my friends due to almost everyone taking me as a joke",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for leaving my friends due to almost everyone taking me as a joke?
|
I recently came out as transgender to everyone in real life. It was the first time I’ve ever done that despite knowing for over half-a-decade. It absolutely flopped. Everyone took it as a joke or simply thinks it’s an attention seeking device. So I have a few people on Snapchat who encouraged me to come out and open up to everyone. It turns out that they “don’t know me well” and “don’t feel comfortable talking somewhere else”, which are both completely false, if their phone number is top secret why do they have full names on their profile? I left Snapchat and a bunch of other friends due to it but I don’t regret it, it was kinda stupid, I brought the two who I actually trust with me. but they do have valid points, as the conversations weren’t super deep and it’s been a few years since I’ve seen them in real life, and obviously it’s up to them on whether or not they feel comfortable.
TL;DR-Came our of the closet, supporters “didn’t know me” left almost everyone
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
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|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
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}
|
RIGHT
|
aF9lnC6jlXR2W5vtmSDUBAzptJRGSzrd
|
aou7s8
|
{
"description": "not caring if my ex-wife will not get her medication paid for by the state",
"pronormative_score": 20,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for not caring if my ex-wife will not get her medication paid for by the state?
|
AITA for not caring if my ex-wife will not get her medication paid for by the state?
​
Backstory: Wife and I divorced now 16 years. She got sick and had an organ transplant about 15 years ago and needs medication daily. Limited by income, she has to rely on state aid to pay her medication. She lives with her bf in a nice 3 bdr apt in a nice part of town and they do alright. State only allows her to work a certain amount of hours (like 30) or she will be over the qualified income guidelines for that medication. Wife has always been the slacker type, and doesnt work the full 30 hours allowed, closer to 20ish. Blames everyone and her condition for being poor and throws it in my face every chance she can get. Especially at tax season.
​
If she is allowed to claim my child as her dependent, she falls within the state guidelines of income/child and keeps her state aid. My daughter turned 18 two years ago so our court ordered divorce agreement about who can claim the child as a dependent is finished. My child and I discussed the situation and since the tax laws and mostly the tax breaks favor the person who pays for her tuition, I have claimed my child as a dependent the last few years. (Between paying for college tuition, books, food, a new car, auto insurance and health insurance the financial burden falls all on me)
​
So because of this my ex lost her state covered medication last year and will again this year. What she doesnt realize is in a year when my child finished school that this child will no longer count for EITHER of us as a dependent but still blames me for her being poor and losing her state aid.
​
16 years of dealing with her blaming me for her situation and financial position and putting my child in the middle of it all has left me cold and not caring that she lost her state aid and medication. AITA for not caring anymore?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 20,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 20,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
HiEHSeterc9gqmYB2nN3OMqZlbSXnpo1
|
b71o9a
|
{
"description": "being sarcastic with my husband",
"pronormative_score": 107,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for being sarcastic with my husband?
|
A year ago I got pregnant and my husband started second guessing me on things assuming all of my decisions were because I was hormonal/emotional. For example - he would ask what I want for dinner and I’d say I want Chinese. He would say “are you sure you REALLY want Chinese”. He would do it to the point I would change my mind 3 times and I’d end up eating chicken wings when I really wanted Chinese.
After the baby was born I have told my husband several times now - I understand when I was pregnant I was emotional and you second guessed me a lot because of it. But when I say I want something it’s because I want it and I need you to stop second guessing me.
Well today I was sitting on the couch holding our sleeping baby and I asked my husband if he could grab us a baby blanket because the AC vent was blowing on us and I was trying to not wake the baby. He responded with “are you sure you want a blanket?” I lost my patience and said “no I don’t want a blanket. I just asked for fun and didn’t mean it”. He looked hurt and went and got the blanket. Outright saying it bothers me didn’t work and I’m out of patience. So AITA for being snarky?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
sbLPCBJziQ3oDinBJcGTeIKXRoNvvhAY
|
b577gd
|
{
"description": "saying my bf has no right to dictate who I tell about my abortion",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 13
}
|
AITA for saying my bf has no right to dictate who I tell about my abortion?
|
two years ago, my bf and I were in a LDR. I had an IUD in place and don’t use other contraception. I visited him and when I came back home my period was late, find out I’m pregnant because the IUD has moved, I’m not ready to have a child, I get an abortion.
My parents bring me to the clinic, my boyfriend is unable to provide support in person. I am bitter that all he had to do was call and didn’t have to do anything else (I know it is out of his control given the circumstances).
I am very close to my bf’s fam, but his fam are very traditional. I am also very close to my boyfriend’s brother’s now wife Megan and I was a bridesmaid at their wedding. Megan is Catholic, but not that religious. And he chose not to tell anybody because he doesn’t think it will be well-received.
Fast forward to megan’s bachelorette trip, I opened up to her that I’ve had an abortion, Amongst other conversations we had. I forget to inform my bf that I told her because we discussed so much that night.
today. I’ve gotten close to my bf’s 2nd cousin who is younger. While my bf is on a trip, I invited her over for dinner. She tells me about a guy she is seeing and that he is her first bf. Asks me questions about sex etc. we end up chatting for 5 hours. A lot of topics come up. because the fam is very traditional, she discusses her mum’s reaction to her having a bf. She also talks about one of her friends that had a baby at 20 and points out how young that is and feels she shouldn’t have kept it. then further on in the conversation we chat about IUDs. I gauge her vibe and decide to tell her my experience on the IUD, my pregnancy and abortion. She doesn’t react badly, she says it makes sense etc.
she leaves, I call my bf and tell him about our chat. I inform him that I told her about the abortion. he gets very upset. He worries she might tell other members of the family and that they will refuse to speak to him if they knew that I had an abortion. He gets really annoyed. And me thinking I told him before, I mention that Megan knows too, ‘it’s not as big a deal as you think’. He gets even more upset because I never told him that I told Megan. He tells me this is something I need to discuss with him before I tell his family.
I argue that it’s not his information to dictate who or whether I tell it. I also feel really annoyed because he didn’t have to experience any of it, but yet he is telling me what information I can and cannot tell? I did apologise because I wouldn’t want his family to shut him out and I didn’t know that was what I was risking. But I still don’t feel like he has the right to dictate what I say regarding this issue
Am I the asshole?
TL;DR - had abortion, bf’s fam is quite traditional, am close to two girls in his family that I disclose my abortion to, tell my bf that I told them, bf is annoyed that I told them and thinks I should have asked him before telling them, I think it’s not his say
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HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
rGEvGeyTWoLrGBuKnNXxjHA6nt3kBF4C
|
aoby74
|
{
"description": "making an art-related Facebook request",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for making an art-related Facebook request?
|
Some time ago, I reconnected with a friend from high school (class of 1994) via Facebook. In the intervening years, I developed (pun not intended) an interest in photography, and started taking tentative steps to see if I had any talent, posting a few of my shots for my friends to judge. Obviously, the verdict was yes, or I'd have some other username. I posted that due to the results, I might start a website to sell my work.
Anyway, a few days later, I was looking at her Facebook profile and *saw one of my photos without credit.* I commented something along the lines of "Yay! I'm flattered you like my photo, but, um, it's *my* photo, and I might want to try to sell it...would you mind taking it down, please? I hope you don't think I'm being a jerk." - and she sent back an angry, "Yes, you are being a jerk. I didn't know you were going to try to sell it. I'll take it down, but not because you asked."
I thought that was that, until I found she'd edited (cropped) and reuploaded my photos to one of her FB albums. Since I felt she was so belligerent before, I reported her account on copyright grounds.
Then, when FB suspended her, she really got pissed, sending me an even angrier email.
The way I see it, I was just looking after my intellectual property, but she insisted I was the one at fault. Note: me and the person in question no longer speak, because *she* thought I was an asshole. ...but I still wonder, so here I am.
What say you, reddit?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
0TG2VxXi2ZWYNhPgJRZbcWqSgTmydGj5
|
b0eeog
|
{
"description": "pushing my friend into breaking up with her boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for pushing my friend into breaking up with her boyfriend?
|
This story can go on for fuckin hours but I'll shortin it.
​
My friend (25F) lets call her M and her boyfriend (27M) lets call him D, have been dating on and off for one year. M has a child and has always been hung up on one of our mutual friends (M 28) lets call him S, and has cheated on D 3 times with S. M told D about her last time cheating and she even told him that she does not see a future together but does love him. He stupidly decided to stay and work it out.
​
All of that happened about 2 months ago. M talks shit on her own boyfriend D, every single day. Saying how they haven't had sex in months, how she wants Mike, how he annoys her, how there is no spark. D on the other hand is for some reason head over heels for her and refuses to back down and give up on her.
​
I had a party this past weekend and all 3 of them showed up, and it was so sad to watch. M was all over and S and D just stood there lonely. So I called M to tell her to end it with him because it is getting hard to watch and not tell him that she doesn't want him anymore. He is my friend too and its really difficult not to tell him everything that is happening. M told me they are going out of town this weekend to see his parents, so she will break up with him after that so she can get a free trip out of it??!!
​
I told her she is crazy and should break up with him now so he can be with his parents this weekend instead of be alone when they leave ( They live on the opposite side of the country so he only sees his family twice a year). I told her it is cruel what she is doing and isn't fair. He is going to need his family when she breaks his heart and she just looks at it as a ticket out of town for the weekend and all meals and drinks paid for.
​
AITA for telling her to leave him now? She think's I am in the wrong but I am trying to be there for both people without picking sides.
​
TLDR: friend is not happy with boyfriend and is waiting to break up with him till after he takes her out of town this weekend.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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Bs34Q9PCYdOxgk3YFvnzCKCG5Q83oMNw
|
b8khoy
|
{
"description": "not asking my husband for March Madness advice",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not asking my husband for March Madness advice
|
A little background- I am not really at all into sports and my husband's life absolutely revolves around sports. I will watch sports and even enjoy going to a game. I actually play recreational softball and that's how we met. But outside of my husband, I do not actively watch sports or talk about sports or look up sports scores. I don't hate sports, its just not something I'm passionate about and my husband very much is.
Well, every year he gets me to participate in our Softball team's March Madness pool. We have a pact between us that if either of us wins the March Madness pool, we will split the money with one another. So every year, I go and ask my sports savvy brother in law who I should pick to win it all. I don't even ask my brother in law to help me pick which teams will win the beginning games, I only ask him who he thinks I should pick and I go with that one. My logic is that my husband will pick a team based on his sports savvy-ness and I will be able to bring something to the table with the help of my brother in law since I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing.
The day before the March Madness brackets were to close, my husband got very upset with me when I told him I asked my brother in law who I thought would win March Madness. My husband says I should have asked him and not my brother in law. He says it wouldn't matter whether we chose the same team to win it all, which I think is ridiculous because then if we both choose the same losing team, we both come out with no chance at winning it. No matter how many times I explain to my husband why I asked my brother in law instead of him, he still thinks I should have asked him instead. I should also add that me and my husband have absolute opposite schedules, so when we do see each other, we barely have enough time to say hello to one another, let alone have an in depth March Madness pep talk.
While this was such an utterly stupid argument, my husband is so offended by my choice to ask my brother in law for advice and I'm so dumbfounded that he would be upset about it, I have to ask reddit's opinion. I don't think it was that big of a deal and honestly after this argument, I plan on never entering a March Madness pool again.
Side note- my husband has no personal issues with my brother in law whatsoever. My husband just seemed genuinely offended that I didn't ask him for March Madness advice.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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F1Nd3srTh8xgE3anPhud77NxfNBYgF2Z
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b2inh5
| null |
AITA
|
First time posting.
A former friend of mine always did stupid things and never take responsibility for them. E.g. On New Years she was on medication that you shouldn't drink with (she knew this) but continued to get incredibly drunk. She got pissed at my friends and I over her friend leavi g without telling her. Slapped my friend over it and the next day after like nothing happened. One day I was out having a few drinks with friends and she says she wants to talk to me. I sternly tell her 'no I want to drink with my old friends'. She was fine with this and went over to her own friends. Class I don't have to put up with her tonight. She brings her chair over to us and that's with all of us. Didn't mind it but was a bit annoyed by it. I finish my pint and begin to leave when she pulls me to side to talk. She tells me about a problem that she caused but won't take responsibility for it and wants my advice. I told she was in the wrong but she didn't like that answer. I begin to call her out on all the shit she did, mainly everything on New Years (She started a lot of shit that night). She starts raising her voice slightly more and more and leaning in. I tell her everything she did and I leave. She grand my arm to stay but I get her to let go of me and I leave to another pub. I'm in the other pub for 30ish minutes and she comes to my other friends and I. She sits down and tries to defend herself. Says she's going through depression but I say that's no excuse to be an asshole to people and told her to seek therapy for it. She waives it off and I leave to the bar for another pint, Finish my drink and leave her.
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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|
a48h04
|
{
"description": "not wanting to share the first thing that came to mind with my boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for not wanting to share the first thing that came to mind with my boyfriend?
|
My boyfriend and I were having a fun night together before he leaves on a trip. We were dancing around our living room when he stops and looks at me and asks if I’d ever had braces as a kid. I told him no and he smirks and says that he can tell because my teeth are crooked.
He says this in a joking manner but I still find it to be rude and hurtful. I remark to him that it’s a good thing I did not reply to his rude remark with the first thing that pops into my mind. He begs to know what that first thing was but I didn’t think it was kind and it’s not something that I would say out loud. Even on the heels of him being rude either intentionally or unintentionally.
Now he’s sulking around and pissed that I won’t tell him the rude thing I’m thinking about him. He says that he thinks my crooked teeth are actually cute but that he’s disappointed that I have something to insult him back with so quickly. I explained that I don’t really have anything insulting and that I could ‘joke’ back with him but I thought that would not be very nice.
Am I the Asshole for not wanting to joke with him about something that could be sensitive to him after he did the same to me? AITA for not telling him the first thing that came to mind as a retort to his rude comment?
|
HISTORICAL
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EVERYBODY
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WRONG
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Eld7te8c3tAjiVitSSWJpwL82kqR1KXB
|
aeqnsv
|
{
"description": "telling my girlfriend she was being rude",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for telling my girlfriend she was being rude?
|
Here is the story:
My girlfriend, my mother and I were riding together to go to a restaurant. This particular restaurant is about 40 minutes away. My mother and I were having a conversation, it was a conversation that my girlfriend could totally have joined in on. My mother and my girlfriend are comfortable around each other, so there was no question on shyness.
Instead, my girlfriend watched Tik Tok for the entire 40 minutes. The little snippets of music and comedy acts playing quite loudly and my girlfriend chucking intermittently. The *entire* 40 minutes without pause.
We got to the restaurant and my mother went to the bathroom, I told my girlfriend, “you were watching videos the entire ride, that was pretty rude”. She got pissed off and didn’t talk to me at all during dinner. Except for at one point when I received a business text asking to confirm an appointment, which I quickly confirmed with a single text, she snapped, “get off your phone.”
Afterwards she said, “you have no room to talk, you’re always on Reddit”, which has a little truth to it, but I’m never on Reddit for 40 minutes at a time, and certainly not around company. Also when I am on Reddit it is a silent activity. She was playing Tik Tok quite loudly, which all kinds of noise, including people screaming loudly, and songs about popping pussy and sucking dick. Call me old fashioned but I don’t want to hear songs about popping pussy and sucking dick with my mom in the car.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
fwru4IHsOyPD6Kq4vjuHCNZtLnAXx4ml
|
9va15l
|
{
"description": "telling my girlfriend I don't want her to see her friends",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling my girlfriend I don’t want her to see her friends?
|
Disclaimer: Apologies for any poor grammar, I’m not to good with writing.
Me and my girlfriend work in different cities, so we only see each other on weekends. For the first few months of our relationship I would see her every weekend, however she increasingly started organising to see other friends. I am completely fine with this as I understand we have lives outside of each other. My problem began a while ago. Instead of organising to see her friends in advance, she cancelled our plans hours before I was about to leave for her place. Again I understand last minute plans but this has happened a few times now and I would prefer some more notice. I told her the two previous times to try and let me know earlier, but this time I asked her not to go and stick to our plans. This upset her and she claimed I was being controlling when an argument started. AITA? I don’t want to be unfair or controlling.
Thanks in advance reddit!
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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doZe4gjBsC1lQTQD48awLCybGWQfH5wW
|
a4d1qx
|
{
"description": "threatening to kick my sibling out of my house",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for threatening to kick my sibling out of my house?
|
Throwaway for reasons.
I'm 38M and I have one sibling who is 20. My sibling is my half-sibling, and we have never been particularly close, mostly due to the age gap, but I love them all the same. I live in a large city and own a condo that I used to share with my ex until we split up and she moved out 1.5 years ago. In August, my sibling transferred to a university in my city, and I offered to have them live with me at an incredibly reduced rate. The city I live in is very VERY expensive and my sibling pays maybe 1/5 of market rate. I'm in no way hurting for cash, and I planned on giving my sibling's rent back to them upon graduation to help them get started. My sibling is a good roommate, is very clean, and I generally enjoy having them live with me.
I started dating "Alex" (33F) (not her real name, but she has a gender-neutral name that's short for a female name) about 8 months ago. Alex is a cis female, born female, and identifies as a woman, but is very masculine (for lack of a better word) in the way she dresses and presents. Like if she was a lesbian, she would be considered butch I guess (but her voice is very high-pitched). She's very androgynous, essentially. She's heterosexual, as am I, but sometimes people get confused by the way she presents. She takes it all in stride and has dressed like this for most of her life. She's not offended when people get confused. It's a little early but Alex and I have talked about marriage and having kids, which is something we both want. We plan on getting engaged sometime in 2019.
My sibling identifies as nonbinary (but was born female and identified as a girl until about 2 years ago). My sibling really likes Alex, but cannot seem to grasp the fact that Alex is a woman, regardless of how she dresses. Like, because Alex does not have long hair and doesn't wear dresses/makeup, she must be a trans man in the closet. I find it really disrespectful - Alex laughs it off but my sibling has tried to be coy and invites Alex to events for people who are questioning their gender identity and I personally think my sibling is overstepping many boundaries. I've tried to talk to my sibling about this but they just said they want Alex to be comfortable in her body (which she has...Alex is 13 years older than my sibling and is pretty secure in herself) because they care about her. I just found it really patronizing. Alex has always been polite but I can tell this is starting to get to her a bit. I've told my sibling if they don't stop this, then they'll have to find a new place to live in the spring semester because I won't allow my own girlfriend to be uncomfortable in my home. AITA?
Tl;dr my sibling misgenders my girlfriend and I'm tired of it
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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sKKvTZivaqMAe0vAj1C6wmFzBnRrqRSp
|
atf0r4
|
{
"description": "fucking an Old Friend's ex",
"pronormative_score": 6,
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}
|
AITA For Fucking an Old Friend's Ex?
|
I'll just tell the story from the beginning.
So last year, my senior year of HS, I became pretty good friends with a guy, let's call him Tom, who had a girlfriend, let's call her Jill. The two had been dating for about a year and were really close, and I got close with Tom since he was really good friends with my best friend, so we hung out within the same friend group often throughout the school year. At the same time, I had quite a few classes with Jill, and I thought she had a great sense of humor, so I always enjoyed talking with her, cracking jokes, and playing funny.
All was fine, but after we graduated and the summer came, I kept trying to get closer with Tom, since I figured we could continue to be really good friends. He didn't reciprocate, and over time, the rift between us grew until we no longer were friends really. Him and Jill also broke it off mutually (but remain good friends), as Tom was staying home for college, Jill was going to a college a couple hours away, and I was going to a slightly further college.
Jill and I remained pretty good friends and we would talk over the phone and whatnot, but I thought nothing more of it, until recently she said she wanted to come down to visit me/stay with me for the whole weekend. That came, and we ended up having sex. She was already over her ex and was hooking up with dudes at her old college, but Tom was still heartbroken. At the same time, it was revealed to me that Tom secretly despised me throughout senior year because he thought I was crushing on his GF (I wasn't).
So, it's been some time since they broke up, she was obviously over it and initiated the "friends with benefits" stage to me, and Tom and I are no longer really friends (although my best friend is still pretty close with Tom). Did I do an asshole thing?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
NAYqPzNVhqqj2vviyJOjVYXKpSkvQnjJ
|
avr2i6
|
{
"description": "getting annoyed when my husband constantly grabs my boobs",
"pronormative_score": 34,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for getting annoyed when my husband constantly grabs my boobs
|
I was chilling last night playing video games. Husband comes over and grabs my boob like it’s playdoh...for like 5 minutes. I suggested if he wanted to turn me on, there are pots that needed scrubbing. He got mad and walked away mumbling. Was an ass the rest of the night.
We are not newlyweds. Been married 22 years. Three kids.
Please don’t get me wrong. I throughly enjoy our “quality time together”. We don’t get enough of it! Two out of three kids are in school full time while living at home. You think it’s tough finding quality time when the kids are little?? Try having adults living at home. They are always home! Or they are never all gone at the same time.
Yes, I know it’s possible to enjoy some quality time while they are home, but we can be kind of loud(blush)...ok...I can be(seriously blushing). It’s not as good when you have to be quiet. Just saying.
Seriously....if you want to get me in the mood....don’t grab “the girls” or my ass....grab
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
yl93Iten0iRoOPAD7pqFNnlhkhlsYwfW
|
afh8zn
|
{
"description": "wanting my girlfriend to not sneak me around her apartment",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting my girlfriend to not sneak me around her apartment?
|
So my gf of a year and I live in separate apartments and we stay at each other’s place from time to time. More recently however we have been staying at my place exclusively because I had a falling out with one of her roommates. I can provide more details in the comments if anyone cares but essentially it ended with two of her roommates saying that I wasn’t allowed at their apartment.
To us this seems unfair because they have their boyfriends over whom she doesn’t like so why should I be excluded from coming over to their apartment? Regardless she has been sneaking me over in private for the past 5 months when she wants me to come over. I’ve put up with it for the most part because I want to respect her wishes and obviously don’t want to cause her trouble with her roommates.
Tonight however she invited me over and I said I would come. But then she said “Okay I don’t wanna hide you but like don’t talk too loud bc only meg and ari are here and they’re asleep.” Basically saying that she does want to hide me since they wouldn’t know I’m coming over. I said “How about I talk as loud as I want since you pay rent there?” I ended up not coming over and this escalated to a light but reasonable argument about me respecting her wishes and whatnot.
So anyway am I the asshole? I’m sick of having to come over at 1 in the morning and wait for them to leave before I can sneak out.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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YMQxC2k48aLyY8jBD0y0WB7VO0Cf3N6P
|
a0gv2p
|
{
"description": "thinking my girlfriend is incapable of anything",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 13
}
|
AITA for thinking my girlfriend is incapable of anything?
|
We've been in a relationship of two years and never had a big fight before this.
Both of us just started uni. So, seeing each other is very rare. Although she does occasionally ask me, if I have time, but I really have to learn a lot (I do engineering and she does biology, slavic language and a bit of a side job). She constantly complains about me not talking to her enough. Like not telling her that I went out with a friend or what's happening in my family.
We were supposed to see each other this weekend and on the way to me she "accidentally" pumped the wrong gas and the car won't start now. Me and some of my friends are quite well versed in machines due to the engineering background, so we can fix it.
But I think she's so dumb for making such a mistake. It's not even the first one of that magnitude of thoughtlessnes. She doesn't care about anything. Constantly drops her phone, etc. I don't understand why she couldn't make the effort to check whether it's the right fuel. Beyond trying to call me once (I didn't hear it cause my phone was off).
I just feel like she doesn't give a shit about her life and only cares about what's going on on her phone.
I am not interested in someone who isn't able to stand on her own feet and is only useful for sex and housework.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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AUTHOR
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{
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|
WRONG
|
BKFH6kkwPGfJL6lHIPTntF0Rqm2SPHrs
|
b4ic6g
|
{
"description": "being annoyed at my partner",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being annoyed at my partner
|
For the past few months I’ve been working towards a really important deadline for university it’s my final thesis and basically for the past month I’ve not left the house unless it was for going to work. I’ve literally been waking up at 8am and writing my thesis till I have food in the evening.
My deadline is in a week and I’ve got a few thousand words to do but it’s mainly just sorting my references and writing my conclusion ect.
So on Thursday my partner said to me “I’m sick of seeing you stuck in the apartment so on Saturday we will head into town early and go out for some food and have a nice morning so you can unwind a bit” I said to him that it has to be early so I’m able to come back and do some more work
So I woke up this morning early and I’ve been trying to wake him up since 9am it’s currently lunch time I’ve been waiting for him to get out of bed. I’ve been looking forward to going out as I’ve not been able to do so for a while. I feel like my time has been wasted.
He has took so long to get up now that it’s not even worth going out anymore. I’m a bit upset about it. I know it’s kind of trivial but he knew it had to be earlier and now I’m just feeling a little sad because I’d planned what I was going to do in town and now their isn’t enough time :( don’t get me wrong I didn’t get super mad but i am a little annoyed about it.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
k9xINBPNRGRINOcISwGqMVtncYJ0PvOs
|
a6t7k5
|
{
"description": "asking my friends to split towing fees",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for asking my friends to split towing fees?
|
So the other night my friend tells me that a mutual friends of our is having a birthday party. I say that I'm down to go and hes excited since now he wont have to pay for an uber. I take him, his girlfriend, and another friend to the apartment.
Now I have never been here before the other 3 have. I ask where to go once we were inside the gated area and they direct me to where the apartment is and tell me to park. We go inside, now I'm DD so I cant drink but I still had a good time and when its time to leave my car is gone. Apparently where I parked was a reserved area and my car was towed.
I had to pay $155 to get my car back and I asked the other 3 if we could split it 4 ways and they reimburse me. They all said no and that since its my car its my responsibility. I feel as though the following reasons justify my request.
1. since it was a group trip that I didn't charge or ask any money for driving them
2. I had volunteered to be DD
3. They had instructed me to park there
That they should help pay for part of the costs.
Am I just being asshole blinded by my anger about the whole situation and it truly is my fault and my responsibility to pay?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
70V8u3bpRBV2OlKqNUElsJROs7dSKaNW
|
ai12c5
|
{
"description": "cutting off friends after someone spit on me",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA For cutting off friends after someone spit on me?
|
so I was at my friends house yesterday, chilling and enjoying a movie.
​
my friend B.. has a known tempter, getting into fights regularly at bars, storming off and generally being childish, he has a very short fuse. we generally kinda banter back and forth and give each other little remarks here and there but nothing ever physical at all. other than a big bear hug and smacking each others ass (like any guys who play sports together)
​
anyhow, we sat at B's house and he sends me over a meme to look at on his phone, i laughed and sat his phone just out of his reach, absolutely enraging him. he got up and said "give me back my phone or i'll spit on you" and then proceeded to hack up all his phlegm he could and i jokingly turned my head and continued to watch the movie laughing (this all happened within about 30s) and he spat directly into my face and laughed,
​
I. Saw. Red.
​
I got up and we fought and he told me to never come back to his house again cause i took his phone for fractions of a minute.
​
my girlfriend who talked to my B's wife said that I was having an ego after i told them "i'm cutting him off - that was a bridge too far.. i can handle a lot but directly spitting in someones face is not tolerable" she told me that if my friendship can be so easily broken then it really upset her and i just replied with "don't bother contacting me again then if you cant see why I won't tolerate someone spitting in my face".
​
So now i've isolated myself from B, and broken up with my girlfriend.
B's wife has done nothing wrong so I imagine i'll get my stuff ive left at their house over time and be done with it.
​
so.. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
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"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
UuaQp8TMroRP4vMpv93P1BA97FC5AGft
|
adyvfe
|
{
"description": "labeling a happy hour as \"invite only\" and \"secret\" using my work email",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for labeling a happy hour as “invite only” and “secret” using my work email?
|
I sent a tongue in cheek email to a few coworkers that I’m close with proposing a “secret” “invite only” aka no bosses happy hour. It was really meant as a joke. But I just found out it was posted publicly on an office Outlook calendar!!! It was only up for about 2 minutes before my coworker deleted it, but I am concerned that our bosses saw it and may be offended. Am I an asshole for making a silly mistake like this? Should I talk to them about it? There’s a chance they didn’t see it at ALL so maybe I should ignore? Any advice would be appreciated!!!
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
mFxgYKBd0Dq1Fu9M5P3BL41cus6Ae4DU
|
abqlqy
|
{
"description": "not wanting to be in a relationship with a black person",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting to be in a relationship with a black person?
|
I'm white and have always imagined having a wife and kids. I guess without realizing it, I've always imagined that my wife and kids would be white people.
I'm worried about my integration into their family, and their's into mine, because I was raised in a household where racism and making fun of other races for jokes was kind of a norm, which I take part in. I worry I would make a joke that would offend someone without realizing it because those kinds of jokes have always been lighthearted.
Also, I don't know how I would feel about raising a child that wasn't my skin color. I've always viewed black people as something that I'm in a different ballpark as, so it would be incredibly odd to be that intimately close with someone who is black/mixed.
Some people have told me that I'm an asshole for this, and some have said that my preference is my own. Half of me expects to see the same here, but I figured I'd give it a shot.
To make this painfully clear, I do not view any race as lesser than, or greater than, myself or other white people.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
as9QKvXKgdrYnP67Eql12vDCEf11fhbz
|
b2tqbl
|
{
"description": "thinking that a girl that texts about her boobs being big doesn't necessarily want me/like me",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for thinking that a girl that texts about her boobs being big doesn't necessarily want me/like me?
|
A few months ago, we met this girl with my gf, both thinking she's kinda cute, but not really doing anything about it. We just like to discuss if other girls are cute and stuff.
We both chatted on facebook with her sometimes (seperately ofc) but one evening I texted with her way more, opening up a bit in a friendly way, nothing romantic at all.
The girl said that she's insecure because of her big boobs, because every girl in her dance studio got the same shirts and they were fine for them while it was thight over her tits. She was very insecure and asked not to laugh before saying it, and I didn't laugh and I didn't say anything like "don't worry, your tits are not small" because that wouldn't be nice from imo.
I told my girlfriend about it, and she didn't like it very much. We got into an argument, because she was saying that she knows this type of girls and she just wants to steal her boyfriend. I didn't agree, saying that she just told me something she's insecure about and that doesn't mean anything.
Anyway, I'm a chill guy and gave in, didn't want to argue because the girl was not that important and not that big of a friend to argue about.
After a few months, it got me thinking, was I the asshole thinking that the girl didn't want to fuck me while my gf was 100% sure about it?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
EgN0sqodJZbtRbxsqW6LiH61AYrFVr91
|
ay0wg7
|
{
"description": "not telling my boss immediately about a promotion I got",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not telling my boss immediately about a promotion I got?
|
So basically I've worked at my current job for 4 years (since I was 22 years old), and within the last few months I have started to have issues: toxic pseudo-maternal relationship with my boss, constant micromanaging, and progressive loss of responsibility that led to constant boredom. In a month I also went through a serious bipolar depression episode, a family bereavement, health issues with another close family member, and my brother almost dropped out of school, so I was very stressed and not my usual self. My boss started snapping at me all the time and told me I needed to fix my attitude because she could tell I was unhappy and didn't know what my "problem" was, even though I had minimally confided in her that I was having a stressful time. We have patched things up since then, though things were still a bit awkward at work.
​
Anyways, long story short, I decided to start applying for other jobs because I was concerned that this was becoming a toxic work environment for me and I had just gotten my masters in December.
​
One of the jobs I applied for was a significant full-time promotion, but at the same organization that I currently work at, just at a different location.
​
Right when the job was posted internally, I told my boss about it and she asked me if I was interested in the job. I was honest and said yes, even though she cautioned me that she thought I could do better and that it didn't really fall into the same field as I did my masters in. I really wanted a change, so I applied, interviewed, and last night I found out I got the job. The person I interviewed with said not to worry about giving notice, because she would handle everything. She also said that I needed to provide 3 references, and she didn't want me to use my current boss because she got the impression that things were "off" between us (!!!).
​
The person who interviewed me told my boss first before she offered me the job, out of respect. So I came into work today feeling awkward because my boss already knew that I had the new job. I decided to just play it cool and not let on that anything had changed. Then this interaction happened after I was in the office for just 2 hours.
​
Boss: Miss Kate, do you have something to tell me?
Me: (hesitates) Yes.
Boss: (looks at me expectantly)
Me: (carefully) I know you already know about it.
Boss: (pissed off) Well it would have been nice to hear it from you.
Me: I only found out about it last night, so it's still super new.
Boss: (still pissed off) Well you could have told me about it this morning!
Me: (trying to be positive) Well, I'm really excited about it! What do you think?
Boss: Well you haven't been happy here for a while anyway so I guess it'll be good for you.
My bright happy smile faded completely, then my boss left to go work at the other location.
​
So AITA for accepting this job and not telling my boss about it right away?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
zVOBrXDr8TP9z2qyERSJiLr2OOUd3Eql
|
a4z9qr
|
{
"description": "not wanting to go to my friends house because it is filthy",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to go to my friends house because it is filthy
|
She keeps inviting me and getting agitated that I won’t come over but her house is out of control. She has three kids and a few animals so it’s always been kind of messy but never this bad.
She moved her boyfriend in who never helps clean about a year ago. She had told me when she first started seeing him just how dirty his house was and how it smelled like animal urine, which is exactly how her house is now.
Now she has 6 or 7 animals and it reeks of animal urine and feces. The litter boxes are overflowing and the cats are peeing and pooping in other places now, the sink, bathtub, counter, in the vents, and in the kids room. It’s a disaster and doesn’t seem to be getting better. I’ve came over a couple days I was in this past year but it’s super uncomfortable and always results in me helping clean. I’ve never minded it but I don’t get along with her abusive boyfriend and I don’t want to pick up after him.
I have a hard time being honest with her about the situation because she has a hard time admitting fault and I know she would end up turning it around on me somehow, it’s just how she is.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
V1zf2gEMQ3oHEVByOs0mQQtQHYNylVUo
|
afwuws
|
{
"description": "discussing my relationship and sex life with my friends",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 21
}
|
AITA for discussing my relationship and sex life with my friends?
|
The other day a couple work friends and I (both female, as am I) were talking and we got on the subject of sex. I mentioned that my boyfriend and I don’t have it often and that he doesn’t give oral because he doesn’t like it. I didn’t bash him for either, I had just mentioned it. One of the girls I was talking to told my boyfriend yesterday that she feels bad for me since we don’t have sex very often and my boyfriend got pissed that I talk about intimate things with them and said it’s none of their business and is now wondering what kind of things I tell my closer friends. The thing is, I do tell my close friends about my relationship including my sex life and even sometimes telling them about a fight we got in or something. Also, I have been there when he has said something about our sex life to one of his friends, but maybe I just do it to a more intimate degree or more often. He’s now pissed and says he can’t trust me anymore and is telling me that if it’s that big of deal then I should find someone else. I always thought this kind of conversation with friends was normal and healthy considering I’m not degrading him or telling his “secrets” or something to them. Maybe I’m wrong. AITA for discussing my relationship/sex life with my friends?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 17,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 21
}
|
WRONG
|
KEF86Pjc7TDuiJavwze482UDF2ePn4NY
|
9tw5gm
|
{
"description": "leaving my fiance after surgrey",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for leaving my fiance after surgrey
|
My fiance has been having issues with a kidney stone the past week or so. She was admitted to the hospital for pain and not being able to urinate. They put in a stint yesterday morning and was supposed to be discharged later that evening. She was having some nausea after surgery so they kept her overnight to keep fluids in her. We left the following morning with the only directions is no heavy lifting and normal activities can be resumed. With all this being said I have been planning my brothers bachelor party for the past two months a few hours out of town. I have already missed the first night but contemplating on driving down for the last night but this is causing major problems between us now? Am I in the wrong for wanting to leave?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
X6gF9N2CMn7wca5Jgg5bNLUzsxp3usCK
|
aa3lp1
|
{
"description": "ordering what I want",
"pronormative_score": 19,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for ordering what I want?
|
Last night was my extendeds family last night in town. So, my mom and I took them out to dinner at this nice restaurant downtown. I offered to my mom that I would pay for dinner because she has already done so much for us this break. Btw, my mom and I are the only ones who live here. It's an East coastal town that rhymes with harleston. My mom said no that it was fine she would take care of it. Fast forward to dinner, I order fish and two glasses of champagne. Everyone's dish was around $25-30. I was the only one who got two glasses. I even offered that I would pay for the drinks, and still got told no. So, on the way to take my grandmother and sister to the airport they both said I was so wrong for ordering the "most expensive" dish and TWO glasses of champagne. I was being extremely inconsiderate to my mother and didn't think of anyone but myself. I defended myself by saying I offered to pay. It didn't matter to them. My whole thing is, I wanted to get what I wanted to eat, I offered to pay and got turned down. So my thing is, do I not get what I wanted to eat and drink because someone else is paying? My mom would of been insulted as well if I didn't let her pay too.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 19,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 19,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
UNgOmfjO3NZLLPr6W3wUBHXw8nwU2f8X
|
abfi6o
|
{
"description": "pushing my mum after an arguement",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 14
}
|
AITA for pushing my mum after an arguement
|
So, a lot of times over small things like being in mid game when foods gets done and i ask to finish the game she has fully screamed at me, got in my face and I've always tried to stay calm and have other than 2 times where I shouted back, but one time a year ago same situation as I stated at the start except she came in none stop screaming at me and going near my pc threatening to unplug it which she knows may break it since its happened in the past.
This time I lost all my cool and pushed her and she fell over, i just wanted to shove, not to push her over but even still i never felt bad and still dont even though every one was very mad at me for it.
So i wanted a few opinions on people's perspective on mine and her actions.
Thanks for reading.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 13,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 14
}
|
WRONG
|
nK0AebCZ9EA4h3UHiumiZXZ2o8UKXodo
|
a75xiy
|
{
"description": "being upset about receiving a celebratory gift for starting a new job",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being upset about receiving a celebratory gift for starting a new job.
|
Little backstory... My boyfriend and I have been in a rocky relationship since we started dating (together 1 year this month). Some really disturbing things happened in our relationship last week, to where I was so depressed I couldn’t leave the house. So honestly this has me wondering if I am just being a huge b*tch.
Today I was converted as a full time employee at my company. I’ve been working there as a developer for 6 months and today was my very first day as an “official” employee of the company and no longer a contractor.
My boyfriend and I have lunch together every day, even if we just hang out. We’ve done this the entire year we’ve been dating. During lunch, I communicate with him that I am sad, and that’s why I am so quiet today. Around the end of the lunch he tells me that he was going to buy flowers for me as a gift, but could not afford $75 for flowers. So he was going to do something else.
Our financial situation is not the best right now because of the holidays. We are trying to give our kids the best Christmas we both can, and have both been working extra to get them the things on their lists. So when he told me that, I felt extremely guilty about getting any type of gift.
Later on I text him and tell him that since he couldn’t afford flowers to please not buy anything, and I will get myself some yarn as a gift from both of us ( I crochet). This turns into a fight, because I will now feel guilty about anything he buys for me and it will be hard to enjoy it and he says he was only dropping subtle hints and wanted me to get excited about what he got me.
I don’t want him spending money that he doesn’t has, or needs to spend elsewhere, and he is hurt that I told him to return the gift. I feel like if he really wanted to genuinely surprise me or get me a gift, he never would have mentioned money as I am well aware of our financial situation ( we live together and share bills ) and he wouldn’t want me to worry or think about the cost of a gift. In my eyes, he never should have mentioned money.. Just got me a gift that he could actually afford which I would have LOVED. Even if it was homemade, I could obviously appreciate that and even prefer homemade gifts since I make them myself frequently, etc.
AITA???
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
u4PFhdayr45nO54qvI8d95ComPOzxKtp
|
at9hn9
|
{
"description": "stringing someone along",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA- stringing someone along?
|
There's a woman my age (young adult) Samantha who I met through a hobby we both shared, over time I learnt she was in a bad relationship (not abusive- but toxic and co-dependent). I encouraged Samantha to separate as it was affecting her mental health.
They split and she moved out, she's been suffering since; through less support (financial and emotional) and I've been there as a friend as much as I could be.
Samantha is attractive, I like her as a person and we both have a lot in common, but for whatever reason - over time, I don't feel we're a good fit. So despite us hooking up a couple of times I've resisted attempts to get us together on a more serious/exclusive basis.
I've let Samantha know that I'm not ready for exclusive (I'm dating other people and she knew this) - since she's just come out of a long relationship I've told her that she's not likely ready for exclusive either. She wants to keep doing what we're doing (casual hanging out and hooking up), but I've been worried she wants something more.
Recently I had tell Samantha that we shouldn't fool around anymore and it really hurt her, as I knew it would- but my thoughts are it's better to hurt her a little now rather than hurt her more later. She'd been expressing more admiration and affection for me lately and it'd been making me feel more uncomfortable that I've been leading her on.
I'm worried she's really really hurt and alone right now, and I don't know how to help.
TLDW- convinced an acquaintance to end a bad relationships, we became friends, it moved into casual dating and now it's over after I realized I'm not ready/she was into me more than I was her.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
BCjI3dz8pSh4G8kp0mT37BDKPaf1HZdf
|
b9yolq
|
{
"description": "accepting a minority scholarship when I'm mostly white",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for accepting a minority scholarship when I’m mostly white?
|
I go to a state college which charges a lot of money for tuition. So much money, in fact, that my (pretty large) family would not be able to afford the full price of attendance. Luckily, I was able to earn two scholarships that, when combined, amount to around half the price of tuition.
Here's the thing though-about one third of that scholarship money comes from a scholarship meant for minorities.
In terms of heritage, I identify as white. Percentage wise, I am half ethnically Jewish, which doesn't count for anything, and about half assorted European or just plain white. But I am also 1/16 Native American. My family doesn't know the exact percentage though, since the DNA tests we've taken have given vastly different results each time. But the heritage is definitely there-I own a tribal card and so does my dad and other siblings. There are pictures of my great gramma, who lived on a reservation, in full tribal attire. On the form for college application, I put "Native American" and "White" for the ethnicity column, because technically I fit the bill.
I personally think that you should take any money you can get from a college, especially because I have two younger, college bound siblings and I want them to be able to afford college as well.
My older sister, who goes to the same school as me and has the same scholarship, thinks otherwise. She constantly reminds me that we are undeserving of the money, that we're taking money from real minorities who deserve it more, and that we're impostors and liars. She also thinks that if you don't live the "minority experience", you don't deserve the money. She's even told me that she wants to pay back all the money she earned from the scholarship to the tribe we have heritage from, to "make it up to them".
I disagree, because I think the amount that my school charges for tuition is insane, and I'd rather not drive my family into debt because of some white guilt.
But maybe my sister is right. Maybe I'm stealing from people who deserve it more.
I'm not sure.
This has been eating away at me for a while, and I'd really appreciate any feedback on the situation.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 13,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
WgNDA7fJyrFHxy8TgHwuSIk9PCeCIWsO
|
b1neeo
|
{
"description": "quitting my job without notice",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
WIBTA If I quit my job without notice.
|
I work a fairly normal part time job, but we recently got a new boss who hates me and has been trying to fire me.
Earlier this week, he apparently changed the schedule to have me work closing shift tonight (I check the schedules when they come out and this shift wasn’t on it). He also did did not notify me that he added the shift.
He is fully aware that I have track on week days until 7:30 and that I couldn’t come in at 4:00 even if I wanted to, it was one of the first things I told him when he became the owner.
He told me today that I had missed the shift and that I was unreliable and should have told him I couldn’t make it. He also said that since this wasn’t the first time he should fire me, and implied that I was lucky to have a job (I have never missed a day before, except for when I had a stomach virus and couldn’t come in, which I called to tell him about).
He has also scheduled me on days I had called of on multiple times forcing me to reschedule plans with friends.
So would I be the a**hole if I quit without giving him any notice.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
RkTqHeZz07HSo0HMhe020tuMy3Moe4zF
|
aml6pb
|
{
"description": "wanting my boyfriends dog to sleep in another room",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting my boyfriends dog to sleep in another room?
|
Okay so a little context, my SO and I have been planning that I move into his house and even though I love his dog (her name is Bella, she is an adorable long haired Border collie btw) I am very allergic to her.
She sleeps on my boyfriends bed every night. I’ve seen how much dog hair is left on the bed in the morning and let me tell you it looks like a whole other blanket.
While we were talking about the move I brought up where the dog will sleep, and he seemed very confused and when I explained that I really didn’t want her sleeping on the bed with us, he got very upset. I kept telling him that she leaves fur absolutely everywhere and I would never be able to sleep with her there every night but he keeps saying that he doesn’t want to move her.
I have suggested that she sleep in the laundry room (across the hallway from us), but he won’t budge. I have nothing against Bella she’s really sweet, I’m just allergic to her fluffiness.
AITA for wanting her to sleep elsewhere?
Ps: I’m fairly new to reddit if I have done something wrong please don’t hesitate to tell me. :)
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
cyOUWUaL0HRi90VSAyNjX1vc4dZsMmKA
|
avo4de
| null |
AITA Older brother is loud on discord late into the night
|
So for background late year I spent a year abroad away from my family as an exchange student. During this time my room was cleaned out (a story for another time), as well as my brother getting a computer setup, mic and all, against the wall shared with my room. He also started college last year, I'm still a senior in high school.
For a while my bed was also against that wall amd I could hear him loud and clear. At first I lied about hearing him, but it stared bothering me so I said he could do it past 10 o clock and whatnot. Problem is my sleeping schedule is far from consistent, and he didn't do the best at following those rules either, so it didn't work.
I started knocking at the wall and shouting but since he has headphones on he has a harder time hearing me. Additionally he was an absolute douche about it, not replying to me when he could hear me or just saying "good night" and then continuing on. One night it was BEFORE MY SAT's FOR GODS SAKE and he wouldn't stop so I pounded on the wall many times until he did. Later brought it up with my mom and for a while things improved.
Now my bed is moved to a different wall and I still hear him crystal clear. He sleeps in for college but I still need to wake up early for high school. Last night I yelled from my room for him to wrap it up in a rude tone as he's started again. I understand it's his hobby but this wasn't an issue before and I want to sleep in complete silence without worrying about
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
WbJO2bNJ2pRZnuMT8mFQusjzy7Y6tUNI
|
ay5k87
|
{
"description": "refusing to watch over my dad's (and childhood) dog during his vacation",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for refusing to watch over my dad's (and childhood) dog during his vacation?
|
I LOVE this dog. We have had her for over a decade and I love her to bits. I’ve always been willing to take care of her, but she has also always been extremely anxious and it’s only worsening with age. (she’s turning 11 this year) Back in the days, I could watch over her for as long as needed and she would be more than fine with it but the last time I did, it was PURE. NIGHTMARE. Sleep was impossible and I was going to school everyday. I was bored to death whenever I was home because I don’t live here anymore and all of my stuff was gone. These two weeks have been EXTREMELY difficult for both her and I.
When they got back, my father was upset because I did as I have always done when watching over her : sleeping with her in my own bed in my old room, and I’m totally convinced that letting her alone in her cage next room to theirs like he suggested would have made her cry for the WHOLE night, as she did when I tried years prior – and that’s why I didn’t even try that time.
I’m still BOILING over this one. I spent two monstrous weeks over to help them out, I regretted every minute of it, I would have NEVER accepted had I knew what it would really be like and he thanked me by deciding that all this shit have been my fault. What the hell.
Now, fast forward a year, my dad is planning another trip during the summer. I used to be the only one willing to take care of her in her own home (and she’s too much of a problem to have her stay elsewhere), but that last time changed the deal quite a lot. There’s NO WAY I’m going back there and I think that it shouldn’t be expected of me to literally move out of my own home to go again and live there for a week. I’m still feeling tremendously bad about this : the dog is suffering because of my refusal and I’m heartbroken for her. It’s also a problem for my father, whom I was greatly helping by watching over his dog.
Plus, I will be off work during that time, but I’m not willing to destroy part of my precious holidays by living out of my own home and away from my boyfriend, even only for a week. Plus, they could take the dog with them as they will be travelling by car this time.
On the other hand, I think they should avoid going away without their aging dog. Their dog is their responsibility, I’m a bit upset that they didn’t ever do anything for her anxiety issues and now, it’s only getting worse. They should aknowledge their pet’s extreme suffering (everytime she sees them packing up their suitcases, she spends the next night spreading diarrhea all over the place and there’s blood in it. It’s that bad.) and I shouldn’t be the one responsible for her wellbeing : they shouldn’t leave. Period. She only has a couple years left. If they want to leave, they can chose a destination where she can go with them or they could have asked professional help when it was time to “heal” her separation anxiety.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
RB1Tb1T6mNeeAcYIMjqnEuDLen3s0iG9
|
ay4rjd
|
{
"description": "not forgiving a friend for cutting me off because his SO told him to",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not forgiving a friend for cutting me off because his SO told him to?
|
A friend I hadn't talked to for a few months texted me to say that we hadn't been talking because his girlfriend was jealous of me. During the months he didn't want to talk me, his girlfriend texted me and made me promise that nothing would happen (romantically/etc) between us. My friend and I had dated for about a week before I chickened out (I didn't want to ruin our friendship). Nevertheless, any romantic feelings between us were over.
​
When my friend told me that he had cut me off for his girlfriend's sake, I told him about the conversation I had with her. I expressed that I didn't think that her behavior was healthy, but I wouldn't make him choose between her and me.
​
For the next few days, my friend and I talk to each other about the situation. Multiple times, he blocks me, and I have to communicate my feelings over email. A lot of what he says clues me in to his unhealthy behavior (such as the belief that he needs to fix everything/he can't fix anything) and his girlfriend's unhealthy behavior (he's tried to tell her that I'm a good person but he can't do so without making her cry/she knows that what she is doing is wrong but does it anyway). I try to talk him through it as best as I can giving the options of communication I'm given. I tell him to take his time and to perhaps spend time away from both of us before further action. (He and his girlfriend go to school together, so perhaps this wasn't the best advice.)
​
One day, he texts me to say that he and his girlfriend are talking about the situation with his therapist. (He has depression, and she has trust and jealousy issues, according to him.) Only a few hours later, he texts me to say that he's feeling like he's being torn apart and he's cutting me off.
​
I cry about it and then I move on as best as I can.
​
Weeks later, he texts me to say he's sorry (I'm over him at this point). He wishes the best for me in my future. He messages me multiple times on several different platforms. I don't block him, because I don't want to give him a response. He messages me about the nightmares he has about me and my friends, he talks to me about my artwork, he wishes me a happy birthday, he tells me how I remind him of a certain song, and he apologizes again. I don't respond to any of it, because I don't want him in my life anymore.
​
The only time I've respond is when he asks me if I was comfortable with him attending my school's musical this year, which I'm in. After initially leaving him on read, I tell him that I don't care. He blocks me on that platform later.
​
I have no idea if he is still with his girlfriend. I have no way of knowing, but I surmise he might not be anymore because he's contacting me. I know you're not in the right state of mind during a relationship, but I'm not sure if that excuses the harm you do to other people.
​
tl;dr I can't forgive my friend for cutting me off because his SO told him to.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
WvhDXEwHX15IzzcXVEpFqVZ0P7OOqbwu
|
b2r9dt
|
{
"description": "asking my friend if we could move onto something else in our RP",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA If i Asked my Friend if we Could Move onto Something Else in Our RP?
|
(sorry if this is poorly worded or some things are explained unclearly and i also apologize for spelling errors i overlooked)
​
Backstory
Me (12F) and my Internet Friend (16F) Have an Ongoing RP on Discord. It's Been Going on Since Around September/November 2018, It's Somewhat of an Anthology RP Since we Don't Really Stick to One Fandom. We Started Out with BBIEAL, Then Luigi's Mansion, Whodunnit, For a Short While we Did Popee the Performer and Now We're Just Doing This Self Insert AU we Have.
​
Alright, Time for the Actual Thing
As i Said Right Now in the RP We're doing a Self Insert AU we Have, But i'm Starting to get Kinda Bored of It and i Really Wanna do Popee the Performer But i Don't Want to Upset her Since Last Time i was Bored of Something, Was Vocal About it, And Had it Moved to That for a Bit She Was Somewhat Upset About it and i Ended up Feeling Guilty About Vocalizing That i Wanted to Move on to Something Else cause i Love her and i Hate Seeing her Upset. I've Made HCs and A Full Story About my PTP AU and i Really Wanna RP These AU Versions Meeting Hers Since I've Done so Much Thinking About This AU.
I Love What We're Doing Right Now and I'm Probably Just Being Impatient but i Really Want to Do This, But I'm Worried I'll Upset her or Be Forcing her to do Something she May not Want to do Yet.
​
tl;dr: I Have an AU I'm Excited About and i Want to do an RP Involving it but I'm Scared to Vocalize i Want to Move on to Something Else Because i Don't Want to Upset my Friend
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
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}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
kWdrXnVkeugCdESfGhJau29nOC5GVNfQ
|
acya25
|
{
"description": "refusing to stop calling my mom and dad hun? I call everyone else in my life hun cause it's easy and simple",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 10
}
|
AITA for refusing to stop calling my mom and dad hun? I call everyone else in my life hun cause it's easy and simple.
|
I call everyone in my life hun, my significant other, my pets, my in laws, strangers, and my parents. Am I the asshole for refusing to stop calling my mother hun? She told me everyone was retrainable when I told her I couldn't stop calling just her hun. Told me it was disrespectful to call her it. I dont get it as to me it's sweet and endearing.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 10,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 10
}
|
WRONG
|
bnnfYR25VatCcFide4jSM9tBlbTV9cJh
|
axtp5v
|
{
"description": "rating my Uber driver 1 star",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for rating my Uber driver 1 star?
|
I was at a train station and needed to get to a house I've never been to before that was about a 20 minute walk as opposed to a 5 minute drive. Decided to get an Uber because I was wearing new shoes that had already given me blisters and wanted to avoid walking and making them worse. The Uber driver dropped me off and I got out thinking everything was fine, however since I'd never been to the house before I mapped it only to see I was still a good 12 minute walk away. So because the driver had failed to do the only thing I'd requested (take me to the right location) I rated him one star.
When I was telling my friend about it later, she said "I hope you gave him 3 stars". I told her I'd actually given him 1 and she proceeded to tell me that I shouldn't have done that and pretty much called me an asshole because it has a lot of consequences for the driver (lowers there rating significantly / limits the number of "high" rated passengers etc).
So AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
t4uDdHwuPOQdkb1qWLHsdBTjt85y3Gyk
|
apbx1m
|
{
"description": "not wanting to go to my friend's wedding as a guest after she kicked me out of the bridal party",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for not wanting to go to my friend’s wedding as a guest after she kicked me out of the bridal party
|
My best friend (T) and I have been friends for over ten years. In that time I have lost both of my parents, most recently my mom very unexpectedly.
I also experienced a serious head trauma which took me about 18 months to recover. I am currently in an IOP for depression because the depression was made worse from the head injury.
During this time I missed her engagement party and a trip we had planned to Chicago. I live furtherest from the group of friends so I do most of the traveling to see them. I did see them at thanksgiving this year and for the Fourth of July. I had two days of migraines after those trips. When I missed Chicago she did call me and tell me that she felt I wasn’t putting enough effort into our friendship. I have been working on this and been involved in the planning for her bachelorette and texting our group chat everyday.
Fast forward to this weekend. On Friday I had one of my “I’m going to need to go to the hospital headaches”. I was supposed to fly at 5 pm I warned her I wouldn’t make it down then slept for roughly 26 hours. Today I received an email about the fitting. It had little information about the dresses (there is a store near me I can try them on) and a very long lecture about how the friendship is one sided.
She is offering that I come as a guest insist of her wedding party. I responded and told her I would rather not be there at all if I wasn’t going to part of her wedding party. I will feel to ashamed to go as a guest.
In the email she also stated she had discussed with her finance and the other girls in the wedding party. One the other girls is very close to me and we have a trip planned to Africa this year. Now I feel like I can not trust any of them for speaking ill of me behind my back and for no one standing up for me.
AITA for not wanting for go to her wedding? I also do not want to associate with this group of groups anymore since they make me feel like I have to earn their friendship back.
WIBTA for cancelling the trip to Africa? We have full trip insurance?
Thanks for reading this.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
RIGHT
|
gAZUFBq2Hq20lV2hDw8Ss8VRlKKayjKR
|
ao36se
|
{
"description": "telling my girlfriend not to go to a concert",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling my girlfriend not to go to a concert?
|
A couple of months ago, my girlfriend made an impulse purchase for a concert ticket taking place in a different state (two hours by plane).
​
We're currently strapped for cash so this already was a strange move but I didn't think much of it because it wasn't too much and flights can be cheap there and she has her sister to stay with.
​
She's now left everything to the last minute, paying almost $400 for flights.
Her mother sent her some money but she doesn't seem to understand that the money could have been better spent.
​
Now she's just mentioned that she might not have the free accommodation at her sister's house as originally planned and may now have to pay money for a hotel for the night.
​
So all up we're looking at hundreds and hundreds of dollars on a flight, hotel, transport, dinner, drinks, concert ticket and lord knows what else.
​
And just to top it all off, she's taking the day off work, unpaid, to do all this.
​
We got in an argument, me saying that it would be better to just not go and accept the concert ticket as wasted money but then "I'm the asshole not letting her go out for a night".
​
Am I going insane or am I completely reasonable in saying that she's done something wrong?!
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
QqEXei0eX6Yvg801zQ0XJ7nMGDZBW3gL
|
anq1wd
|
{
"description": "beating up a rude kid",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for beating up a rude kid?
|
This was from some years ago, so im not 100% sure on the details, but this is basically what happened.
I was at a summer camp with my brother, who is 2 years younger then me, when a older kid came over to us. He looked at my brothers face and started laughing. He has a hole in over his lip (Im sorry, i dont know what thats called), and the kid started teasing my brother for it, and saying he was impossibly ugly
Im really big for my age (6'3 and 165 pounds at 13) and i easily pushed the bully down. Then, when he was on the ground, i beat him up and i punched him until a teacher pulled me off.
I was suspended from the camp.
Am i the asshole for beating the shit out of this kid?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 8
}
|
WRONG
|
Ehyl3HqX06nQfpcybtBTkdCOE1KWeTFF
|
b2i2wp
|
{
"description": "telling my girlfriend she is working herself out",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For telling my girlfriend she is working herself out?
|
A bit of background: my girlfriend is a university student who gives private lessons to support herself and make a bit of money. For various reasons, she failed some exams and now she needs to catch up. She really wants to be done by the end of September, but she needs to take a lot of exams, and after that she wants to travel for a bit, so she has been giving more and more lessons per week to save up, and on top of that she has university lectures, so she is busy about 8 hours a day which, as you might imagine, doesn't give her all that much time to study for the exams that are coming up. Also, we live far away from each other so the whole conversation was through text.
Yesterday I was texting my girlfriend and she was telling me for the 100th time about how tired she was and how she did not study enough, but I also knew that she had just finished a two hour lesson with one of her "students", and that she had already done at least 10-12 hours this week.
I decided to be upfront with her and tell her that she could not go on this way, and that she was turning her side gig into an actual part time job, and that now she needs to focus on her exams because that is the important thing, and because she has already put aside enough money, so she is just burning herself out.
I knew this was a very touchy subject because she isn't really well off (but she definitely has enough to sustain herself), and she had already told me that she did not want me to tell her that she is working too much, but I hate seeing her this tired, and at the same time not studying enough. I am really worried that she might hurt herself and not pass all the exams that she has to take, and decided to tell her what I though even though it would hurt her.
As I expected, she was hurt by my comment and told me that she needed time alone, and that she would text me later. She still hasn't texted me and I'm getting nervous, so was I the asshole for telling her what I thought?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
3xoDpAceXiVFQMtKFk1aJOZ9IqF9Ii5T
|
b6ayr1
|
{
"description": "expecting my brother's teacher to reimburse him for a hoodie she confiscated and lost",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITAH for expecting my brother's teacher to reimburse him for a hoodie she confiscated and lost?
|
This happened 3 weeks ago, but I barely talked to the teacher today because of several reasons: 1) My brother hesitated on telling me because he was told he could get it back that same Friday. 2) I can only go Mondays and Wednesdays. 3) She was absent last Monday I went. And 4) We had spring break.
So my middle-schooler brother was wearing a black "Subscribe to PewDiePie" hoodie he had just bought a week prior. The hoodie was out of dress code for the color and the logo. He insisted on taking it to school because other kids wore all kinds of stuff and they didn't get in trouble. I know that just because other people do it, it doesn't make it right.
Anyway, this teacher saw him in the hallway and asked him to give it over. He did. Well, this lady left the hoodie on a cubby by the door. Mind you, when I went today, I had to wait about 10 minutes in her classroom because she was out and about somewhere. Obviously, she is careless about what goes on in her classroom.
When she finally decided to come back, I presented myself and reminded her of my brother and the hoodie. I then asked her what she's going to do about the situation. She told me "I told him to look in the lost and found." *Turns to my brother* "DiD yOu LoOk In ThE lOsT aNd FoUnD?"
That's when she made me mad. Like okay ogre-looking-ass, you really expect a middle schooler who stole a hoodie to return the hoodie to the lost and found?
My brother then tells her that he looked multiple times and she looks at me with a ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯ look. I then say, Thank you, I'm going to take it to (insert principal's name). *I *personally *know *the *principal, *although *she *might *not *remember *me *because *she *was *an *administrator *at "my *high *school *a *few *years *ago.
I go down to the office, and ask if I can speak to (insert principal's name) for an issue with a teacher. They tell me I have to speak to administration first, and I need to get a written note from my parents to do so since I'm not the legal guardian.
I guess I have to mention now that my dad works past the time the school closes and my mom is recovering from a surgery which she had 2 weeks ago. That's why I am doing all of this.
Anyway, AITAH for expecting the teacher to pay for what she took and lost? The hoodie was only $20 because my brother had it made. It's not like it's a big deal for her or I to get it made again. I just think it's unfair for my brother. If this was a cellphone we're talking about, and she lost it, I think it would be just as big of a deal. Why couldn't she just tell him to put it in his locker or bag or just carry it. It's her fault it's lost, so she should be responsible for paying for it.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 17,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 17,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
RIGHT
|
Q8pr63CBIPytkUPg8amqcxyvpjoCv4Pc
|
ai5vkk
|
{
"description": "yelling at my room-mate with anxiety disorder",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for yelling at my room-mate with anxiety disorder?
|
First time poster here, English is my second language, I hope I'll be able to explain the situation correctly! It's a long story, so here i go!
Background : I (20M) am living with four other room-mates at my old mother's house. Since she wasn't able to sell it, she rented it to me and my friends (one guy and two girls). Note that we did not sign a lease, since it was a friendly agreement. At first, the rent was a bit expensive for only four people, so one of the girl brought her friend (26F) in September. It wasn't sure how many months she was supposed to stay, but we were pretty happy about it. When I met her, I immediately knew that she was the anxious kind of person, and I felt for her. But I didn't know what was to come.
>Her presence alone changed the dynamic in the house. She decided to buy a cat (to help reduce her anxiety), even thought the first floor was supposed to be cat-less because there is one girl that is allergic. I had cats that stayed in the basement and they had fights with the new cat, which she indirectly blamed me for. Every time I encountered her in the house, I tried to have a friendly chat with her, but I felt some weird tension. When I asked her for simple services, such as a little bit of olive oil, it always seemed to disturb her and she often declined with what seemed a lack of empathy. Often, I put that on the account of her anxiety disorder (she eventually told me she had one) and let it go. But then, she also started complaining about the housework in a backdoor way. For example, she left a list on the fridge on the 'steps not to forget when cleaning the kitchen' and notes such as «Parasites are at our door!». Me and the other guy knew that it concerned us, we just didn't understand why she didn't told us about her discontent first. We did not felt good about it. Also, whenever she wrote in our house group chat, it was only to complain and express her discomfort about something.
As you can see, I had my load of anxiety living with her and I considered many times having a talk about the situation, to explain how and why we feel uneasy, and also to understand why she acted that way. I never did, since I knew she would not be at ease and would start to either blame herself of reject the blame. Months passed and it was going fine, until she started worrying about what was going to happen in July 2019 (we were in January, btw). Since I did not want to live with her another year (and since the other girls were moving out of town next summer), I told her she'd have to look for another place to stay in July. Then, one week ago, she told me she had found a new place to stay and that she would leave at the end of the month. I was kind of shocked. I asked her if she would at least pay her rent for March, which resulted in a categorical refusal. I told her that usually, when leaving a housing, you need to notify one month in advance, therefore that she had to pay for next month also. Big anxious no. I asked again. Still refusing, saying that she won't pay for two rents at once, that she already signed the lease at the other place and that anyway, she hadn't signed any lease with us.
​
That's when I lost it. I got really pissed off, I raised my voice and started ineffectively asking again and again. I was boiling. She repeated that there was no lease. I shouted «Well if there is no lease, we could just kick you anytime we want and you'd have no right to stay here!» \[Still refusing\] «Don't expect to stay the whole month here». I then left the house for the rest of the day. When I came back, she was gone. She took all her things and left.
I had talked about this with my friend and he agreed with me that she was a toxic person. But the girls were on her side, even thought we never talked about it. I know it wasn't right to burst in anger and shout at her, but I feel that it was justified. Am I the asshole? Should I have acted differently?
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
4J6IwPMpeg6GwmZMFrUSPHcilTP6D7rd
|
b3k0zq
|
{
"description": "getting annoyed that my GF eats tue entire apple, seeds and all",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for getting annoyed that my GF eats tue entire apple, seeds and all?
|
So, I know this seems minor, but am I the asshole for thinking it's weird that my gf eats the entire apple. The seeds are poisonious, mildly, and the effects can be cumulative over time. I pointed this out to her, she agreed the findings were valid and yet continues to eat the entire apple, saying that it is "fine". I feel like I'm talking to someone who rejects science. Is this how people feel when talking to smokers?
This is bothing me way too much, I know, but AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 1
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
ovRJgkEWaD71nXazpe1DBjxa1iLxaojK
|
b8ekb0
|
{
"description": "enforcing our bathroom policies",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 28
}
|
AITA for enforcing our bathroom policies?
|
One of the businesses we run is a fast-food business. Bathrooms are segregated into M/F, each can accomodate 3 people at the same time. A self proclaimed transwoman (definitely looks male except for long hair and overt makeup) insisted on going to the F bathroom. I stopped the person insisting that it's our policy that males use the M bathroom and that he clearly is a male. He insisted saying that he had the right to use the female bathroom. I told him that if hecouldn't respect our policy, that I'd insist that he leave. He left while cursing us saying that we were transphobes. I come from a traditional asian country wherein transgenderism isnt that common yet. I could clearly see other females look disturbed by the person. Was I an asshole for insisting that he use the M bathroom or leave?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 27,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 28
}
|
WRONG
|
I35dSt5rSZlbQPlVTQ0ejUeTioF0KYpY
|
b38s7p
|
{
"description": "arguing with my teacher about an unfair test date",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for arguing with my teacher about an unfair test date?
|
In my AP Government class, we have s test scheduled for Thursday. The tests are based off the AP tests, which are carefully timed. Our class period on thursday is a little different than normal, it is only 50 minutes compared to the normal 1 and 1/2 hours. The test he assigned is going to take an hour of actual test taking time, and my teacher says that you will just have to stay in at lunch. AITA for arguing that he shouldn’t make us stay in at lunch just to finish a test we haven’t been given enough class time for?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
mKDSE1Stuqa1wcxEghKPtk0mgj0RxXaa
|
b8b83g
|
{
"description": "not sharing the Wifi",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For Not Sharing The Wifi
|
Backstory: Not sure what is relevant so I'll try and provide as much information as possible. I live with my girlfriend in a modified 2-story house. We live in the upstairs area and we have a couple gents living below us. Our landlord is my gf's grandma. The guy we lived above previously to the new tenants was an big asshole. I had to get our own router and modem because it just wasn't working. No issue there, just a pain to get it set up. Oh also noting that both my gf and me split the internet bill 50/50
Now the new guys, great guys, I have no problem with them at all. They've been living there for a few months, they went to school with my gf, they work for her dad, they're fine. That being said they have been having Wifi issues for since they moved in.
The Issue:
My Girlfriend was asked by the guys if we could share the wifi password with them.
I said no
For a number of reasons. For one I think it's a security issue giving out the password. Our stuff could get malware. We are responsible for the sites they go on. Who knows if they are pirating movies and stuff like I totally would never ever think about doing...
Another issue is our bandwidth. We have top of the line internet because I game regularly and have picked up streaming ([twitch.tv/fullman\_](https://twitch.tv/fullman_) shame plug) but I don't know how many devices they plan on using.
Also I just am a little paranoid about sharing my wifi.
AITA For Not Sharing The Password?
BONUS! This argument is monthly. For some reason the guys just can't seem to manage to get their internet working with the landlord. So once a month they ask my GF, she asks me, I say no, and then it spirals.
The main issue I have is that she doesn't seem to respect my choice. I tell her my reasoning and explain the points above and she will reply that I'm being controlling. I get we don't have to agree on this buy at least respect that my decision. So it makes me feel like I'm being peer pressured and I've explained that to her. Honestly I feel as though i can be as controlling as I want with this information.
Which brings me to today. The guys asked to use our internet, and they asked her to use it for a month. I said hell no and compromised maybe I can give it to them for a day or two. My GF didn't feel that was enough. After hours of back and forth my girlfriend and I had decided to agree to disagree, where after I finally caved and gave them the password. But I feel like I regret it completely.
To be honest I feel like I was peer pressured again, Granted I did this after we had agreed to disagree, but the comments she made about me being controlling just kept repeating in my head.
I don't want to have this argument ever again. I let her know if she doesn't at least respect my decision, whether she agreed or disagreed, I will pay for the Wifi completely and give out the password to her at me leisure. Or she can get her own router/modem and set it up.
AITA for proposing this fairly extreme solution?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
D0876NehphsiKrsQ1taC6joS3gkJXu81
|
add52r
|
{
"description": "lying to my girlfriend that I got home safely",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for lying to my girlfriend that I got home safely?
|
Just got smacked by a massive windstorm here in the PNW. My girlfriend always asks me to text her when I get home that I got home safely. Problem is I dont have cell service at home due to not having power. I'm sitting in a parking lot about 30 minutes away from home (very edge of my cell service coverage currently). Would I be the asshole for telling her I got home safely, and then leaving after I texted her that? I don't want to lie but don't want her to worry.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
245wHT8eIsVVRyf9TIlLFAfFiq2ULAzl
|
b6ud06
|
{
"description": "withdrawing my request for someone to be my bridesmaid",
"pronormative_score": 23,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA to withdraw my request for someone to be my bridesmaid?
|
Now, I know it sounds bad, but please hear me out.
Me (26, f) and my fiancé (27, m) are getting married soon. We are having a relatively small bridal party of 5 bridesmaids/groomsmen each. For my bridesmaids, I chose two of my best friends, my two sisters, and fiancé’s sister, Sarah* (21, f). I only asked Sarah basically just to be nice, but also I felt it was expected, and when I asked her, my future MIL said “oh thank god, there would have been trouble if you didn’t!”. It was a joke but still felt weird. Over the 4 years of my relationship, me and Sarah have always been okay but very different - she’s very entitled, I am very gritty-working class; she can be very blunt and rude about things, I generally try to keep negative opinions to myself around his family. Recently, her mother and I argued (all better now, but basically MIL kept making jokes at my expense when they had company over and I was feeling a little bullied so confronted her about it) and Sarah has taken this very much to heart and has started being VERY rude. As in literally ignoring me when I directly talking to her and slamming doors in my face, I created a bridesmaids group chat (including one of the “groomsmen” who is a girl) and Sarah has never once replied to anything or posted in the chat. Basically it feels like at this point, on my wedding day, I’ll be surrounded by my sisters and best friends and then this girl who can’t stand me and makes sure I know it. I’ve spoken to my fiancé about this, and he said it’s up to me.
So... WIBTA for basically saying to her “look, I’m not sure if I want you to be my bridesmaid anymore?”
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 23,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 23,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
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