id
stringlengths 32
32
| post_id
stringlengths 6
6
| action
dict | title
stringlengths 4
300
| text
stringlengths 0
10.8k
| post_type
stringclasses 2
values | label_scores
dict | label
stringclasses 5
values | binarized_label_scores
dict | binarized_label
stringclasses 2
values |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
tSeGdrBcKghMJirKuby7PD5qOlIpzb56
|
abmn7h
|
{
"description": "cutting a long time friend off",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for cutting a long time friend off
|
I transitioned from one school to the next and left a best friend behind however, they weren’t the ‘best’ in all honesty. We were close for six, seven ish years but during that time, they were kind of shitty to me.
EXAMPLES:
Making fun of weight when I had an eating disorder. (Lol guys have them too)
Antisemitic jokes, (I’m Jewish)
Racist and homophobic jokes, (black n gay people were in our group)
Calling my dyslexic friend a ‘retard’, making them cry in front of our whole group, then belittling them for doing so.
General emotional abuse, you’re stupid, fat, ugly, etc, everyday.
Cancelling plans all the time
Stealing my girlfriends and making jokes about it in front of the whole group, (such an incel cuck apparently)
Telling me to kill myself when... You know, wanted to and told them such.
Anyway, this sounds like a whole omg why the fuck are you asking whether you are an asshole, you fucking attention seeker. Obvs not right? Or maybe yes for taking ‘edgy’ lad jokes seriously or something.
Well the reason i ask whether AITA is because I lost my temper with them, listed every single one of their faults in an hour conversation, said they were going to amount to nothing etc. Said they were the typical result of a broken home, (their home life isn’t good) and then cut them off completely. I know it’s a quick summary because I don’t want to list everything I said, (anonymity) but I told them the absolute truth which I know now, is the worst thing you can do. So....
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
WRONG
|
QyGeLCrOyRAPpyySrk6W2S5FwnkBS8WI
|
b061ns
|
{
"description": "not wanting to hang out with my sometimes ailing 95-year-old dad",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not wanting to hang out with my sometimes ailing 95-year-old Dad?
|
Never liked my Dad much. He is compelled to rant about politics at every chance, including throwing out the racist N word. Chronic complainer, know it all. Discussion with him is not my interest. We've always lived in the same places, couples miles apart.
I help him with his many requests, including transport to a variety of specialist doctors so he can achieve his goal of living to 100 (which he discusses daily). Included repeated trips out of state, meaning I have to leave my wife several weeks a year. And fixing his house and all sorts of related things.
He remarried 30 years ago, younger foreign woman for sex (English second language). At this point she prepares his meals, but little else (she is generally ineffectual). I take him to most of his appointments, help him with all paperwork. They don't talk much any more; he increasingly sits home alone now that he can't drive anymore.
My pending inheritance (moderate) does create some obligation. My deadbeat druggie sister and a nephew are getting part of his money, both live in another state; never done anything to assist. Stepmother is getting the largest chunk. I assisted in his business in decades past, so some of that compensation is earned. (the inheritance was all hashed out 8 years ago; it is not debated)
My wife and I have health issues also. And concerns. We can't visit our grandchildren out of state because I now need to be near my Dad at all times, in significant part because of my highly ineffectual stepmother can't step up.
It's been a long road--nearly a quarter of a century since my Dad first began needing medical care at 70. He's had some serious medical issues but is still going fairly strong. No end in sight, really. He might outlive my wife, who is in poor health.
I find the whole situation depressing and tiresome, sorry to say. Might be different if I liked my Dad. I'd like to reduce ties, less time on social visits, less participation on medical trips. But I'll probably continue the status quo--unhappily.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
l3bFHc980agBG2RPpKmrju9nhgJnop3P
|
arygpn
|
{
"description": "reporting my dorm roommate",
"pronormative_score": 18,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for reporting my dorm roommate?
|
I only have class 3 days a week and I'm only at my dorm those three days. During those three days however, since she has the other 4 days to do whatever the fuck she wants, I expect to be able to use my dorm. I am extremely easy going and now I found out probably too much so. After the winter break, I came back to my bed already made and I was like "oh okay cool thanks". I'm local and it saved me time because I didn't have to move my shit into my room again.
Fast forward to 2 weeks ago, I come in and her friends stuff is completely moved in and then it dawn's on me, she made my bed because it's actually her friends shit. I realized she has moved her friend in. I at first let it slide but I can no longer sleep in my dorm because her friends in my bed and then about a week later i find out that they are doing drugs, at least weed and Coke and constantly have alcohol all over our dorm.
So I reported her last Friday for the drugs and for moving some girl into our dorm. The girl is forced to move out and my roommate has been written up for violating multiple rules. She is on the edge of being evicted (also due to an incident in the beginning where she had alcohol poisoning and had to be taken in an ambulance from the dorm because she wasn't breathing, she's supposed to be in AA, so another rule broken. I wasn't even in the dorm at the time.)
She is angry at me because she has to pay fines now, they notified her parents, and she might get evicted. If she's evicted, she might have to leave as she can't afford to live anywhere else and won't be refunded.. however I pay the same amount of money she does to only live there three days and I was essentially kicked out of my own room when her friend was living there. She has 4 days to do whatever she wanted and she thinks I was unfair.. she didn't even ask if she could move her friend in.
My roommate is blaming me for possibly having to leave college and for her parents finding out about her drug use and for fines.. I said it's her problem not mine. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 18,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 18,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
CfsK1p4Qn4ySsXBmXQQ2MYkuT5rJh23z
|
9y58ed
|
{
"description": "making a move on my best friends younger sister",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I made a move on my best friends younger sister?
|
[tldr on bottom] One of my best friends since childhood, let’s call him G and his sister K.
G and I are slightly less close now, but mainly because we went to different colleges and only get to see each other maybe once or twice a year. With that said G and I talk at least monthly still (text or call).
K (1 year younger than us) has always been super flirty with me, and has been since we were all in high-school together (I’m a senior in college now). She and I always vibed well, and I remember thinking back then that we’d be great together, but I would never want to do that to my best friend.
Fast forward to last year when I was at their family xmas party. We were all drunk and high and K was giving me very clear signals (laughing at everything I said [even when not a joke], asking me to dance with her, and touching me a lot [even not dancing]). I can’t say I didn’t want to make a move on her then, but I still didn’t because I consider him one of my best friends.
Fast forward to a few months ago, the most recent time I saw G in person, he told me that K said she’s “always wanted to hook up with me.” G continued that by saying K thinks I’m the “nicest and cutest” of G’s friends and she thinks I’d be “a great boyfriend.” I didn’t ask for the context or anything, and with so many confused thoughts running through my head, all I said was, “haha that’s nice of K.” And changed the subject.
Today, I just got invited to their xmas party this year. I thought about last years and then about what G said to me last time I saw him. I’m not sure if he just said it to me factually or if he was hinting he’d be okay with it.
Would I be an asshole if I made a move on my best friends sister?
tldr: I’ve known my best friend and his sister my whole life. He basically told me she has a crush on me, but I don’t know if that’s his way of saying that he’d be okay with she and I happening. WIBTA if I attempted to engage in consensual relations with her?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
zPoz0AWnaZ5w7oqzP3LjdmZ6JwpJgBMz
|
aqevdo
|
{
"description": "not going to school because of weather",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA if I didn't go to school because of weather?
|
A while ago I was walking to school in the snow. I'm always the dead last person to leave the house, so nobody can really give me a ride at this point.
I knew the weather was bad but still 'walkable', until about halfway through.
The houses had cleared up and the massive amount of snow was blowing into the sidewalk, and into my face, blinding me. I decided that it was not worth it, and turned back. I texted my mom and told her I cannot get to school, and why.
She gets angry, and at 1:00 she busts into my room, yelling about the fact that I apparently could have the whole time. She yells at me for 10 whole minutes, taking all of my stuff, and leaving.
She still won't get over this. Am I the asshole here???
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
y3a0jj7NWwe4yrVRwTnETDBe7yV5TkLS
|
b8wn0d
|
{
"description": "sharing food with my wife",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 16
}
|
AITA for sharing food with my wife?
|
Back story, we are moving house on Friday, this happened tonight.
As our lawns have been going insane we decided I should go straight home to mow, rake and whipper snipper for the handover. The wife will pick up the three kids (2, 5, 9) after she finished work so I can do the needful. Neither of us cbf cooking.
Kids end up with pasta bake and the wife suggest Thai. She explains that we can buy two mains and eat them for lunch the next day (as we wouldn't eat a whole one each).
The wife always gets fish cakes and I wasn't feeling like it so asked if we could have chicken satay skewers instead , entree
Wife makes the order, we all head down the road and I pick it up.
Take away order:
- Chicken satay skewers (x4) (mine)
- Fish cakes (x4) (wife's)
- Yellow chicken curry. (wife's)
- Red duck curry with lychees. (mine)
- Large coconut rice. (wife's)
(I'm keto/paleo so I don't eat rice)
I didn't really care what the restaurant lady was telling me I just wanted my food now as I was insatiable.
Get in the car and didn't realise the wife had ordered fish cakes so asked if that was right. Wife tells me she doesn't like chicken skewers, that she will eat them but doesn't like them so she got fish cakes.
Walk in the door, give the kids their pasta bake and the wife is dealing with fussy kids.
I unload the entries and smash one of my chicken skewers. I'm in heaven. I don't care what's happening around me right now, the house could be fire IDC.
The wife comes over and asks to try one of the skewers so I shit stirred her saying she didn't even like them. She eats 1/3 of one of the skewers and walks away saying it's good, prefers when the sauce is on the side.
This is where things get grey around food etiquette between a wife and a husband.
I've always been under the impression that if the SO consumes a part of your meal (e.g. one of four skewers) even if it's a bite or half or three quarters they have taken ownership of that food. It's officially off limits.
AITA time...
Thinking we are sharing entrees I open the white styrofoam box containing the fish cakes (yes these are absolutely not keto, idgaf) and smash one in seconds.
The wife looks at me in disgust... "Did you just eat a whole one?" "I told you I wanted two tonight and two tomorrow for lunch".
I'm just stunned... I tell her that I had three skewers (including hers) left and that I thought we were sharing. I don't recall her saying it was for lunch but I'm a grade A selective listener.
She proceeds to storm off to the bedroom leaving her entire meal in their containers, and the kids with me. Lots of pissy remarks ensued (e.g. stuffing your face, selfish)
Am I the asshole?
Maybe I just don't understand food laws between a man and a women, correct me pls.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 12,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 16
}
|
WRONG
|
D6Bt2hpDNoM8dQaxVianslX9zQKuhtZP
|
ajzfl1
|
{
"description": "wanting my family to stop cussing in public",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting my family to stop cussing in public?
|
To be clear, I don't have a problem with people swearing in other settings, and I don't think swearing is inherently "bad." I have quite the vocabulary myself. But I do feel like if you're in a public place, such as a restaurant, you should be considerate of how other people might not want to hear that sort of talk, especially if it's about a sensitive topic.
My other family members are the kind of people who don't really have a filter and eagerly speak their mind on anything and everything. Sometimes this is a good thing, but they also don't really know when what they're saying offends someone. Sometimes they get angry when they're told to quiet down.
Their cursing isn't quite AVGN-tier, but it is enough to make me feel embarrassed and worry that people are looking down on us as "trashy." They are rather loud people who liberally sprinkle conversations about politics, religion, etc. with vulgar references to everything ranging from Jesus' penis to vomit to scat fetishes.
I get pretty frustrated by all this, but am I being overly sensitive?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
ylkYe60mKZQGMZkNJmT8XzdFmHlIi8ul
|
apbzc3
|
{
"description": "telling my boyfriend's stepdad about my boyfriend's little sister's weed usage",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for telling my boyfriend’s stepdad about my boyfriend’s little sister’s weed usage?
|
Throwaway account. I’m on mobile - sorry in advance for bad formatting.
So my boyfriend’s little sister (let’s call her Madison) is 12 years old. We get along really well - she’s like a sister or cousin to me (I’m 19) but in the last year or so she’s changed a lot. She’s hanging out with a bad crowd and has recently started using weed pens. We always tell her she shouldn’t be doing that, etc, and her mom knows about it too, but she refuses to discipline her. We’re in a legal state and both my bf and I use weed recreationally, but when we’re talking about a 12 year old that’s a whole different story. Madison is also failing the 8th grade because she refuses to put any effort in school.
My boyfriend’s stepdad has been kept in the dark about this issue (which started a few months ago) until I brought it up tonight in a conversation with boyfriend and stepdad. We had been talking about Madison and how we were all worried about her, so it’s not like it was out of the blue. Stepdad was completely taken aback to know that she was actually doing weed, shocked that he didn’t know any of this, and vowed to get involved with the situation but not say it was me who told him.
When bf and I were alone, he got very upset at me and said that I shouldn’t have brought it up at all - that it wasn’t his place to intervene and it sure as hell wasn’t mine. He said that his stepdad couldn’t keep secret who had told him, and that now Madison and their mom would hate me when they found out. (That also sucks because I cut contact with my own family for being abusive, so they’re kind of the only people I have... but that’s irrelevant here because what’s done has been done).
I told my boyfriend that I was worried about Madison and that’s what takes precedence. Because clearly her mom wasn’t doing anything to address the situation - to the contrary, she enables it and even rewards poor behavior. I felt like I needed to say something and it was unfair to keep his stepdad in the dark when 1) he might actually be able to intervene and do something, and 2) he’s invested a lot into raising her for 10 years and I feel he deserves to know - she’s like a daughter to him.
Not sure if it makes a difference, but I’ve been with my boyfriend for two years. So while I’m not sure if I was out of place, it’s not like I was stepping into the family dynamic after only a few months.
Also not sure if it makes a difference, but my bf’s stepdad is also Madison’s stepdad - they aren’t biologically related - but he’s been a father figure since she was 3.
So, AITA for informing my boyfriend’s stepdad that his stepdaughter is using drugs? Did I overstep my place? Or did I do the right thing?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
7t8bglvtCXBGRoQJmpwXfWtNVNyYd28Y
|
b1mywb
|
{
"description": "getting upset at my girlfriend when she restates whatever I say as a question",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for getting upset at my girlfriend when she restates whatever I say as a question?
|
Whenever I ask her a question or answer a question, she always responds by just restating what I said with a question mark at the end. I get frustrated and it’s hard to deal with.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
fF5Q6odwkl8oiiXqXNGRgMsRzOb27gHG
|
b8f6qb
|
{
"description": "being mad with my girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for being mad with my girlfriend
|
So, im in mobile excuse the format, so me(22), and my gf(43) is currently mad at me, says that she has a lot of problems at home, since she lives with her sister, but takes the anger out on me, but when i start getting angry she starts ignoring me, this is an everyday/week kinda thing. Also when i talk with other girls my age she gets jealous, even tho im just having a friendly conversation with them, i told her this many times, but yet she flirts with other guys right in my face, in her words she says "i do it infront of you, so its not wrong", but when i try to tell her its wrong or I dont like it she pushes the blame on me, saying if i look at another girl shell do the same to me. She ask for money a lot of times also. she tries to guilt trip into it too if i dont want to. Am I in the wrong for not accepting this kind of behavior, and just outright ending it with her? Noter:i see her everyday, so it can get pretty awkward.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
m2v7KJGNP8kh9fOqYsJGnJ7cIIEnj8Wx
|
aufqrd
|
{
"description": "watching older shows with my daughter",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for watching older shows with my daughter?
|
I like to show my daughter (5) the shows that I used to watch growing up. I used to watch a lot of the Dick Van Dyke Show, the Honeymooners, What’s Your Line, those sort of shows. Since most of this stuff is streamable, we sometimes watch a few episodes. My husband told me he has a problem with me showing her these shows because he doesn’t want her to be influenced by those old ideas of how people should be. I understand what he’s saying, but I told him that I’ve explained to her that the shows are old and that women weren’t always able to be so independent as they are now. I’ve told her that she’s so lucky that she can wear whatever she wants and be whoever she wants. He doesn’t think that’s enough, however. My husband has proposed a ban on all the older shows and movies, but I think that’s a bit silly, especially since she likes to watch them, and I think it’s a kind of teachable moment. I think it’s better to have conversations with her about the content than to just eliminate it entirely. Writing this out feels kind of dumb, but my husband is legitimately pissed at me, so am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
lekJWhF1CmC0jG1gUNlXnoyOsEYMCuux
|
am9ufd
|
{
"description": "sending a friend of a friend out of my house and rage at him when he puked in my house while we're stoned. and not offering my couch if he couldn't come home",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for sending a friend of a friend out of my house and rage at him when he puked in my house while we're stoned. and not offering my couch if he couldn't come home
|
sorry for my bad english since this happend a few hours ago and in probably still stoned.
​
So for context: we are with a few friends in my apartment. One person was there i invited aswell cuz for my other friends and to have more than 3 people. one of my firends brought space muffins (my first time im stoned) and the guy I invited aswell lets call him jack got a bad trip and puked my house under and my poarch that I share with other people.
​
after two hours my friend starts noticing jack is feeling bad from space muffins and tells him to lie down on my bank.
then one - two hours later he feels well enough to sit. me and my friend we're trying to order kebab and just as he wants to order jacks body decided tot throw it all out. after three times I tell the mongloid to move his ass to the bathroom becuase i don't want more potential damage from his puke. as time progrest (2 minutes) I felt more and more rage coming and if my friends didn't stop me there would be serious harm to jack because i was cooking. then out of anger I yelled at him: "move your ass out of this house 3, 2, 1" and becoming more angery the longer the sentence. he moves his ass out. it was 2 oçlock afternoon and winter.
​
Then to heroes of my friends helped me calm me down(lets call him arthur) and the other two cleaned it up(Thank fking hell they we're there i could not cleaned that shit bro) and really praise them that they helped. as arthur calmed me down we went over some solutions: he couldn't drive his car cuz stoned and feeling bad, sleep on my couch, sleep in his car, find a person that can pick him up or a taxi ( or maybe an ambulance to sleep the night at the hospital) I made it clear that i don't want him in my house no conditions as if he is pukking again i have to clean that mess which is dont like and potentialy have to check if he is not worsening and more. Then arthur asked jack to try and call someone to pick him up. and arthur tried to tell me if im down to let him stay in my house if really needed and kept telling him no, no way. before he had the muffin he shouldve decided what if im going bad and how do i get home if i cant sleep at yin's apparently he didn't do that. So i tell arthus if he can't find a person take a taxi or sleep in his car im not helping jack anymore. im not the biggest fan of jack and to help him while he puked in my house was no option for me all i care for was that my house was clean(thank fking hell again for them). arthur did tell me about being low body tempature hypothermia iirc and maybe that he doesnt have to sleep in the open potentially and told him if he really needs to find shelter he can use the hallway i share with the upstairs neighboor. I couldnt provide sleeping stuff aswell cuz i hadnt had a spare and wasn't willing to give mine up for jack. so the other option after not finding a person to drive him was a taxi.
​
so my other friend jeff says "my mom can pick us both up" (jeff was also carpooling with jack) so that is taken care off and he doesnt have to call an expensive taxi.
​
So after my friends cleaned everything(we cant praise them enough) for me me and my friends sit there waiting for jeffs mom to come. she arrives jeff packs stuff from jack and him that were still left. arthur and onyx where still here and we watched some memes on yt. then they leave and help me with throwing out the thrash with pukeremains and clean the poarch.
​
The most bad i feel is to my friends, they helped me alot and the first few minutes i treated them as shit. i yelled at onyx to let me through(I wanted to go to my bedroom to calm down but my sleeping room is next to the bathroom. and onyx was probably afraid i was going to hurt jack) and yelled pretty hard at onyx and that if arthur, jeff or onyx we're to puke i wouldnt mind giving them the couch to sleep on. and that they had to help jack and me not just jack.
​
Arthur, Jeff and Onyx if you ever get to read this im so sorry how i reacted to the situation and ecspecially you onyx
​
jack if you get to read this: I could've handeld this better and not went full ragemode.
​
tl:dr : jack puked in my house after feeling bad from space muffins, I yelled at him to get out of my house into the cold and couldn't care less how he got a sleeping place / came home.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
GTxv9OKIWDBUF97uHZxIvHO9OgmkmhU6
|
9vg3rn
|
{
"description": "not wanting to give away an Xbox I won for free",
"pronormative_score": 121,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not wanting to give away an Xbox I won for free?
|
So for context, earlier this week my SO and I decided to swing by Taco Bell for dinner. I had some random combo meal and my SO got that new Double Chalupa box. You know, the one with the Platinum Xbox One X and white Xbox Elite Controller. (Xbox One X standard goes for $499 before tax. Standard controller goes for $149) I paid for the meal and we head home. About an hour later I notice the stixker on the side of the box. Normally we just ignore the codes because chances of winning are slim to none and sge was about to throw it out anyway. So I text the code and what do you know? I won!
This moment of enjoyment was ended quite abruptly when she began ask me what I wanted to do with it. Saying, "You paid for it, what will happen with it?" I've never been a huge fan of Xbox and when each generation comes out I usually stick with ps4. But for free? I'll give Xbox a chance. So I told her I'm gonna keep it. Wich proceeded with about an hour of her yelling and arguing with me. All because she wants to give it to her brother.
Now normally I'll listen to her and actually consider what she says. We are in a relationship afterall. But her brother? He's like 12, plays on an Xbox One S (the one just prior to the X), with one of those third party rubbery controllers made for call of duty and plays on a $1000 projector his dad bought him. Not only that, all he plays is Fortnite. Which is one of the least hardware demanding games out there. Giving him this console is a huge wasted opportunity because it provides the best for all games and he'd use it on the free one.
So, am I the asshole because I don't want to give an Xbox I won for free to a kiss who already had everything he needs in terms of an Xbox?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 120,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 121,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
CQOWbSCn7SkSewYK4G5YeSJE5ZEqOnd6
|
ap6eeq
|
{
"description": "wanting to go to a house party that my girlfriend doesnt want me to go to",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to go to a house party that my girlfriend doesnt want me to go to.
|
Ok so my girlfriend and i are still teenagers, she is 16/and im 17and she is two years below me in school. On big occasion there is these teenage discos that are held for under 18 to go and enjoy as a way of enjoying a night out in a safe place legally(legal drinking age is 18). Her and her friends always like to go to these and this will be the first one shes goin to while we are dating, i understand that she will be somewhat drunk like most of theother people there but she argued previously that nothing would ever happen and i trust her. Im not a big drinker i never see the point in getting drunk because you womt remeber the fun you had if youre drunk so i tend not to drink alcohol often. My parents are also very strict and dont let me go out at the weekends when my friends from school go out to nightclubs and stuff so i rarely interact with my school friends outside of school.(even tho my friends who are also 17 still go with fake ids and stuff) we are doing our mock exams last week and this week coming for our leaving Cert(State exam) in june. Ive been very friendly lately with some nice people and was invited to a houseparty the friday we finish our mock exams(the teenage disco my girlfriend is attending is also on that night) so i said id love to go but my girlfriend cant she will be busy. I told my gf this yesterday and she has been very annoyed with me because of it. She said she didnt want me to go and that something might happen, i was adamant that i woukdnt let amything happen and i said that if i can trust her why cant she trust me. She replied that it wasnt me she didnt trust but the other girls that will be there that will be drunk,im not very attractive btw and i havent had many friends for the most part of the last couple years at school because i was annoying and people didnt like me so i was super excited to go but i couldnt believe my gf didnt trust me. I told her that if any girl tried something with me id push them away because i love my gf a lot. She gave me the most sarcastic ‘sure’ ever to that and i replied that i hoped she enjoyed kissing guys at the next disco. AITA for still wanting to go to the house party even though my girlfriend said she trusts me but doesnt want me to go?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
2HbsZe7q4IVqLRYY5kLVGYnlfvETlYgi
|
b8pkh8
|
{
"description": "taking a 20 dollar money Match",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA For Taking a 20 Dollar Money Match?
|
Ok, So I know the title is confusing but this is gonna require a lot of explanation, so I'll put the TL;DR at the bottom.
​
So basically there's this girl who I'm friends with (we'll call her TJ). She's a pretty odd character, and we're decent friends. There's rumors of her having a mental disability but as far as I know, she isn't officially diagnosed, and just acts strange for the thrill of it or whatever.
​
So one day she invites me to a live stream on Instagram. I join and pretty soon, challenge her to the titular 20 dollar Smash Bros. Ultimate money match. At first, she's completely against it, calling me evil and stuff, but then she slowly warms up to the idea and pretty soon she wants to take the game.
​
So you might be wondering why this is on AITA, but she has told me she's never played the game and she might have a disability, but she's now vouching for the game. On the one hand, I don't wanna extort money from someone I know will be an easy stomp, but on the other I don't wanna turn her down, given she's been talking smack (that she'll beat me, your average pre-game trash) and a part of me wants to prove her wrong. WIBTA for taking the match?
TL;DR: WIBTA for taking a 20 dollar smash bros money match against someone I know won't win?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 2
}
|
INFO
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
LJQe6AB4jNJZzsgKDCG9gw23XLys5Pdf
|
aykp4b
|
{
"description": "not paying for the vacation for this girl I'm seeing",
"pronormative_score": 23,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not paying for the vacation for this girl I'm seeing?
|
"Cindy" and I have known each other for over a year and been dating for about two months. we are not quite bf/gf but we've slept together. We are not fwb because I think we're more intimate than that. She works at an entry level job in finance that doesn't pay much. I, on the other hand, am relatively well off compared to her. She is estranged from her parents and refused any help from them and her relatives are barely getting by so she is on her own financially. Every month after rent, car payment, and other expenses she has barely any savings left.
She is very motivated to take the CFA exam but doesn't have enough money to pay for the registration. The last thing I want to see is someone I cared about not fulfill her career potential due simply to not having an extra $1,000 laying around, so I paid for the exam for her. I noticed that she's been really stressed out lately and it turns out studying for the exam plus lack of savings is really getting to her. I found out she only eat one meal a day, she said it's to keep her figure but I think it's also because she simply can't afford to eat more. I also found out she is studying for the exam by only reading the text books and watching lectures on youtude - serious test takers would supplement their study with notes, exam videos, practice exams, and access to questions bank from say, Schweser. So I pay $2,000 to buy her the materials plus sign her up for the exam prep classes. On top of that, I also pay for her rent ($1,000) for one month hoping to de-stress her from her financial situation and help her focus on her study. Which, to her credit, she has been studying very hard for, from what I can gather.
Now, I'm not the only one who noticed her stress. To help her, her bff is flying with her to a beach town for a long weekend getaway (Cindy said she will be bringing her books). Now, here is the thing: her bff comes from a very rich family and is paying for her plane ticket but they are going to split the airbnb. Bff also likes to live it up, she booked a tri-level townhouse by the beach just for the two of them. The cost for three nights comes out to just over $2,000.
Cindy texted me about how expensive it is and how she can't afford to pay for it but she really wants to go. I get the feeling that she wants me to cover the tab. I texted her back that it doesn't make me feel good when after I covered her rent and exam expenses that she turnaround and splash $1,000 on three nights in a luxury Airbnb.
She replied that she won't go. But then after one day, she said she will go and if I won't pay for it then she will find someone else or another means to do so. She said she is accustomed to certain luxury because 1) she is a germaphobe (this is true) and the townhouse is clean to her standard (not sure how she'd know that). 2) her ex is rich (also true) and spend money on luxury and on her so she is used to having nice things.
I refuse to do it. AITA for not paying for her hot vacation pad?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 23,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 23,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
HSW5HCLUPDOUK7ZgO3NrPwTzm9l2gu5N
|
a6krw6
|
{
"description": "almost always sampling every frozen yogurt flavor when I go to the frozen yogurt shop",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for almost always sampling every frozen yogurt flavor when I go to the frozen yogurt shop?
|
They encourage you to take sample cups, and sample cups are freely available.
I like to sample just about every flavor when I go. It is one of the fun things about going to get frozen yogurt for me.
But, the owner always gives me the stinkeye after sampling a bunch of flavors.
I don't swirl the sample cups really high or anything either. I just do the dollop sample.
Things have really started escalating and I'm afraid the owner will murder me next time I'm there.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
2451BUe9W4EgltylQaUPKasVdJcgEZtO
|
a3905f
|
{
"description": "getting angry at my boyfriend for eating a joint",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 14
}
|
AITA for getting angry at my boyfriend for eating a joint?
|
(throw-away account for obvious reasons)
My boyfriend (23M) just told me (19F) he once had to eat a joint(disgusting!)-- I can't understand how he could've done this, I'm absolutely disgusted and cannot talk to him. He explained that he freaked when they were caught smoking outside of the country, but I don't think that was a good excuse. They'd find it anyways, and I cannot believe he did that. My response to him granted a reaction where he seemed visually surprised and upset, and that he says that I'm being outlandish and how it hurt him, but I'm so disgusted I can barely even think about that right now. Am I well justified for this?
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 14,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 14
}
|
WRONG
|
aSiMaidc4GLjXET5JLgM7PrfeuOmprin
|
b8wmng
|
{
"description": "initiating a parking war",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for initiating a parking war?
|
AITA as I asked four times for my neighbour to stop parking badly and blocking my assigned parking space?
Moved 1.5 months ago. Neighbour started parking stupidly a few days in. Left a friendly note after a while as was getting increasingly worse.
Can't get to drivers door sometimes. I'm worried she's going to hit my car.
She also tells her friend use my space or block me in.
Other neighbours complained as she blocks all our access sometimes.
http://imgur.com/gallery/KwOTaYO
Had to get Management involved after going to speak to neighbour face to face led to her friend giving me 20 mins of verbal abuse and threatening false accusations of me damaging their cars to get me in trouble . Witnesses and evidence so im fine.
Logged with police after a second similar harrassment incident with Neighbours parents, they were waiting for me to get home from work.
Police don't want to take action just yet as it may escalate further.
Management company have given her a final warning or they'll end her lease and evict her.
Retaliation:
Neighbour claims I'm harrassing her by asking her to keep moving her car and that I'm making her ill.
On other side of my space is the empty turning circle in our very small car park. She thinks I should leave her room as she's too ill to manoeuvre her car properly and just doesn't like driving ....and take up space in this turning circle.
I wouldn't completely block it if I did.
But I'm being called petty for starting a dreaded "parking war". I've been polite all the time.
Ive asked before and after these incidents for bollards or to reassign my space, but Management said no.
I hate my new home and dread going back to it. Have I brought this on myself ?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
64sfYoLKdhiXKwTU647C6mFV3m1QvH9h
|
b70i8f
|
{
"description": "giving my roommate 2 weeks to get a job or move the fuck out",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for giving my roommate 2 weeks to get a job or move the fuck out?
|
So this situation happened a couple years ago
A couple years ago me and 2 friends got a 3 bedroom apartment in a different city. Me and Jay moved there to go to school in that city, but Fred just wanted to use the opportunity to live cheap and put some money aside, which me and Jay didn't have a problem with.
Now, at first everything was good, me and Jay didn't have to work because we had worked hard to put money aside and
be able to just focus on school. Fred also had money aside, so decided to not work for a while too.
​
Now few months down the road, problems slowly began, he was running out of money but didn't look for jobs. So me and Jay literally had to pressure him into applying for jobs, so in our free time me and Jay had to drive around with him for him to even go apply for jobs.
Couple weeks like that and finally he gets a job, so we dodge a bullet here. His job was 15 min away on foot, but it paid 16$ an hour, which is fucking great when all your monthly expenses add up to a mere 600-700$.
​
2 weeks into his new job and he started missing days. He ended up losing the job. His mom ended up paying his expenses for a month. So once again we start pressuring him to go find work, because we're students that only have a certain amount saved and we can't pay for his shit.
​
That's when everything went downhill, he was addicted to league of legends, playing until 3 - 4 AM and raging every time he died punching his desk and all that shit. Me and Jay had to wake up at 7 AM for school every morning which made us have a problem which him yelling. But to be honest to biggest grippe wasn't the raging it was the fact that he wasn't looking for work and bills were coming up.
​
We end up having to pay his rent, and his portion of the bills for the next month. So obviously we grab him for a talk and tell him this wont fly. He listens, finds another job in a week. Few mornings go by and his boots aren't there, so we're breathing and once again we think we good. One morning I was looking for the nail clipper, Fred tended to keep shit in his room so I go to check and he is in his bed with his boots in his room.
​
Let's make a jump in time, 2 months of bullshit follows where me and Jay have to pay again for his part
So here's the part where I don't know if i was an asshole, we grab him and tell him : "we're done with your bullshit, you have 2 weeks to find a job and start paying us back, or we throw your shit out and you deal with your own problems"
Now most will say this was justified, however it was pretty apparent that Fred was depressed and having dealt with depression myself I know how daunting the feeling is (even though i still work).
He ended choosing to leave.
So was I the asshole? could I have done something differently?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
vVyEEf67SS4Lc49AGzL7vYdCYXttYsuy
|
au6ohl
|
{
"description": "breaking up with my mentally unstable girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for breaking up with my mentally unstable girlfriend
|
My original post was removed due to my choice of words when it came to what she wanted to do to herself. She is very clingy and has serious issues that she lays on me. I don’t know if I want to be around someone that can’t love themselves. It feels like a chore to talk to them. I’m always on edge as to whether she’ll have another mental breakdown. It feels like an unhealthy relationship but I’m not sure. Would I be the asshole?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
IVJhDxWUt9DZLOGltOko3ztrVo2aLsxO
|
9yi4uy
|
{
"description": "tipping after long wait, terrible service, and under cooked food",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for tipping after long wait, terrible service, and under cooked food?
|
This past weekend my wife and I were hosting both sets of parents for my daughter's birthday. For two of the three nights they were in town we ate dinner at our house, which was nice because we could just chill and take our time eating. However, the last night my daughter asked if we could go out to her favorite restaurant. I won't name it here, but it's a national chain with a country theme. (Don't judge, she loves the games).
​
Unfortunately, 6:00 PM on a Sunday is a really busy time and the wait times can be really long. My parents, who showed up first, get our name on the list and are told 45 minutes. No problem, we can fill that time checking out the gift shop. Well, 45 minutes comes and goes. We ask where we are on the list and are told "you will be seated next". From that point on there are at least 5 different parties that get seated before us. No big deal, but we waited an hour and at this point everyone is hungry.
​
The server proceeds to tell us that the kitchen is backed up and we should expect long wait times. Wow, okay, let's get our orders in now (since everyone had plenty of time to look at the menu during our hour long wait). Some of our meals get delivered within a reasonable 20 minutes. Emphasis on "some" - half our table was served while the other half was en route. 5 minutes pass. 10 minutes pass. 15 minutes pass and finally my father-in-law has had enough. He gets our server's attention and demands to know when the other half of the party will be served. We're told "it's being plated now". 20 minutes pass. 25 minutes pass. At this point my father-in-law is furious and asks to see a manager.
​
Another 5 minutes pass and still no manager. This is the proverbial straw that breaks my mother's back and I can tell something is about to go down. She walks up to the kitchen and demands to talk to a manager. Now, I'm still back at the table trying to distract my daughter (who is still oblivious to the building tension at the table - gotta love those free crayons and drawing pages!) so I ask my wife to go make sure things don't get out of hand. I see the manager come out from the kitchen and talk with my emotive mother for a few minutes then she walks back to our table shaking her head.
​
Finally, now 40 minutes after the first half of our table was served the rest of our group gets their meals. I cut into my chicken and the center is a distinct raw pink. Game over, now I've lost it. The next time the server comes by I point to the chicken and say I've lost my appetite. By now, everyone (except my daughter) is upset and just wants to leave. While my family is finishing their meals, I pay the bill.
​
I ended up tipping the waiter \~15% because I don't have the heart to blame him. But the manager failed to try to resolve the issue and was basically MIA during this entire situation. I was secretly hoping the cashier would ask how everyone was, but that never happened. I just paid the bill and gathered my family to leave. As we were walking out, my father asked how much I tipped and as I told him the rest of the family heard and everyone was upset that I tipped at all! It wasn't the server's fault it took an hour to be seated, then another 45 minutes for the full group to be served. But, clearly, the restaurant was at fault. What else could I have done?
​
tl;dr - group of 8 waited over an hour to be seated, then another hour to eat, and my meal was delivered under cooked. I tipped 15% and my family was mad I tipped at all
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
SQq1eAt0qG61sJW081Pnb0RgDEIdHbl0
|
azroru
|
{
"description": "not wanting to attend nephews baptism",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for not wanting to attend nephews baptism?
|
Throwaway here.
Backstory : I, F26, am currently looking to get back into illustration and design jobs as after my bachelors some years ago, depression made me drift off. Worked in fast food for over two years and then a voluntary year as a basic paramedic with the red cross. Nothing that had anything to do with my "work in video game industry" plan young and naive me had laid out but work nonetheless so that I would not be unemployed.
My parents have since given me the impression that I am not gonna get a job in the field and while it is hard to find a job if you are not among the best, my main problem there was that I could not muster up the energy and spirit to get my shit straight and set up a portfolio and applications that looked usable.
I have improved a lot in that regard due to my bf whom I met half a year ago.
My parents, however, after years of watching me try and fail and struggle to stay sane, still give off the vibe of not caring or knowing what I do which blows my mind.
Told my mum that several times that I am not going to write childrens books, she still thinks that the couple famous childrens authors are the only one who have ever written books, ignored me telling her of the thousands of books published each year that go barely noticed and despite having told her multiple times, thinks works like Harry Potter have been made overnight.
My dad still fails to realize that illustration and graphic design can be wildly diverse.
My mum likes to shove her opinion down my throat and acts incredibly sulky to downright mean if you start to argue with her. The only person untouchable to her is my sister in law to be who recently gave birth to the first grandchild in the family
My dad just gets super insulting and accuses me of being too picky, a lazy millenial who will never get a job this way, running away from my problems etc.
Both my parents have been in the situation of not having to deal with the job market or applying for jobs for the last 35 decades as he is a military guy and she is a housewife wo curses on women choosing both career and children. They still think you can hand write a page for your bio, walk up to a companies boss and get the job starting the next day.
My mum made me dislike my sister in law due to shielding her from any criticism and hailing her as the poor child from a mean, mean family. Sister in law is 30ish, well off inheritances and never had to worry about getting a job or a flat and because of having the kid, is a saint.
With that said, I don't feel like I could stomach the upcomming baptism of my nephew in may.
Talked with my brother about it and he is understanding as he and the other siblings know how stuck up and stuck in time my parents are.
AITA for not sucking it up for a family event but not wanting to go to me nephews baptism?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
lnY429IZu1YSXlmr7yrdb1SSjH80HwfL
|
a35jz7
|
{
"description": "wanting my s/o to pay for a cat",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For Wanting My S/O To Pay For A Cat?
|
Pretty self-explanatory but here's the backstory anyhow:
I'm a huge animal lover, I foster cats, and have one of my own. We found a farm kitten a couple of weeks ago. It siblings didn't make it and I really wanted to help the lil guy out. He looked like he had an eye infection and possibly a respiratory issue.
I brought him home in a box with my s/o and my s/o automatically fell in love with him. The kitten is about 4 1/2 weeks old so I had to get a dog kennel, lock him up and separate it from my other cats (currently fostering one and have one of my own). I bought him all kitten food, toys, etc.
Took him to the vet and thankfully, there was no respiratory infection, but he did have an eye infection. I had to get the check-up by myself, pay for the check-up, eye meds, and flea application, along with that I had to take the other foster cat into a different vet the same two-hour span. After having the cat gawked at for an hour, felt around, and medicated I realized I forgot my credit card - turns out I actually lost my credit card. Thankfully the vet let me off with a pass since I go there for my cat. I still have to pay for it. The total came up to $100.
My s/o has since named him, told people that it's "ours" and obviously everyone and their mother tells me that it's adorable and my cat would "love to have a friend". This cat is tiny, I mean really tiny. My cat is big, not a huge team-player in the sense of this-is-my-mom-you-don't-cuddle-her-I-do. The kitten plays with the foster more-so too (since they're closer in age).
I'm worried about a couple things including the future of this cat. 1) he's a *kitten.* I bought my own cat when he was a year and a half and I've had to pay for all his stuff and it hasn't been cheap, but worth it because we have this special bond. I foster cats because I want to do my part with helping but, don't necessarily want any more cats...
I've expressed to my s/o that they have to commit to this kitten and that as it grows up it'll cost money. I know my s/o is pretty loaded when it comes to money; I, on the other hand, have about $200 in my savings and slide by due to bills and spending habits (I'm getting better I swear). There's a couple of other issues such as we don't live together, don't share expenses, and this kitten is currently residing in my apartment with me and the other two cats.
​
I have the ability to foster this cat until needed, I really don't mind that. He is absolutely adorable as well. We plan on moving soon to a more expensive city and it's going to be tightly spaced as well (his plan). And I don't think he realizes it's hard to find a place that accepts animals let alone two in a crowded room.
I'm in my early 20s, live by myself, have a decent job (but not enough hours currently), go to school full time, etc. My family does not help out with my bills (including schooling). I've mentioned to him several times about the $100; "I really don't have this kind of money right now" "this is a money commitment" "this is your cat, not mine" and even went down to: "We should split bills if you want the cat."
​
Everyone is telling me to keep him because he's "just too cute" but I know better. My mom has done this with plenty of dogs and now has 4 in her suburban house.
​
**tl:dr Found a young kitten, paid for the vet bill ($100), unsure if I want to keep it, s/o wants to but hasn't helped me out.**
​
I feel like an absolute dick, I rarely ever ask for money, but I backed out on getting an older cat earlier this year due to financials and went back to fostering.
AITA for wanting him to pay off the bill for this cat and the future bills since I don't necessarily want to take it in forever? At least halfsies on it would be fine! I'm just currently overwhelmed and Christmas is coming up too. Should I keep this cat?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
A6MzXDE0dcDSGZpo4BjxkTfEqZnzqAWQ
|
abr464
|
{
"description": "asking for credit",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for asking for credit
|
My girlfriend and I went to the phone company’s business center to report a disruption from almost 3 weeks ago. I would have reported it sooner but it was the holidays and we were busy. **So I lied by saying I already called and have yet to hear from their techs.**
Rep gets busy. Of course it’s not in their system. Of course the rep will try to look for it. And of course the rep will try to escalate it.
My girlfriend was seething.
**WHAT SHE SAW:**
She called me an entitled POS for making the rep look for a non-existent ticket. She accuses me of being an unfair, inconsiderate and lying bastard. That all I care about is money. That I have zero respect for customer service staff. (She’s a customer service rep.)
**WHAT I SAW:**
If you have dealt with customer service before, chances are you would have encountered missing tickets — either the last rep did not create a ticket or it’s simply lost in the system. **I played that.**
I did not raise my voice nor did I sound threatening. I was as courteous as I can be. I had no beef against the rep but I want to be credited for unused service. I work my ass off for those hard earned doubloons and I expect to squeeze every cent out of those. Had the rep been at risk of getting a deduction, I would not have pulled that stunt. But it’s the company who will be providing compensation, and I got zero fucks about their coffers.
Suffice to say I do not feel remotely sorry about that. Am I wrong?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
ZIXGLLPAHGNWkvzBGcG8xCkNgik83ByJ
|
ay5lei
|
{
"description": "being mad at my friend for botching my bachelor party",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for being mad at my friend for botching my bachelor party?
|
I've been steaming since my bachelor party 4 days ago. My friend of 25+ years who I've lived with before and supported through all sorts of personal and marital issues was asked to plan my bachelor party 2 months ago. I feel it's kind of an honor to ask a friend to do this. Long story short he made one reservation at an axe throwing place for our group of 8 at 1PM. He had a family situation with one of his kids and the morning of had to bail on the party. I understand that aspect as I put family first. I texted him during the axe throwing and asked what the rest of the plans were. He said "that's it" followed by "you probably should have known how busy I am and picked someone else." I was shocked that not only did he not plan anything, he didn't TELL ANYONE THAT HE DIDN'T PLAN ANYTHING until the party started!!!! I felt humiliated and embarrassed in front of the rest of my friends, and I could tell it made everyone feel awkward as we had to throw together something last minute and try to not let the awkwardness ruin the vibe. We made the best of it but it was weird. I told him he embarrassed me, and I couldn't believe he would let me down like this. Still have not heard from him since. This is a good friend for years and years. I consider(ed) him one of my closest lifelong friends. I am 40 he is 38. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
A0VjCG6M9KDlMmEVgSnhBkYv7zet3m8i
|
a8kkgb
|
{
"description": "spending a lot on my girlfriend for Christmas",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For spending a lot on my girlfriend for Christmas?
|
Last year I was in university, so couldn’t really afford to give her a great Christmas, so after starting a new job this year where I could afford it I decided to treat her a little. I went slightly over budget on what I was planning to spend (my budget was around £250 whereas I spent £350-£400 over the course of around three and a half months). Her mum asked me to tell her what I got her so she doesn’t get the same as me, so I sent her the list, and she told her. This led to a bit of an argument and her getting annoyed I spent that much (she has spent around £300 on me). I understand that we have other priorities to be saving for, such as saving to move in together, and saving for a car, as well as a couple of holidays we have, and I don’t feel like the amount I spent is unwarranted as she asked for a lot of the things I got and I feel like the others are quite meaningful.
So AITA for spending more than I should have? I know she isn’t in the wrong for this and is entirely justified saying what she did but I just wanted to give her a good Christmas, maybe in the process I lost myself a little and got carried away?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
DlFFHWvhe1eigdIVIVE7dsOZjiYq1khi
|
aj2hun
|
{
"description": "moving in with my Aunt and Uncle, when I know my Dad would disagree",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA If I moved in with my Aunt and Uncle, when I know my Dad would disagree?
|
Ok so here is some background. Sorry for the horrible description, this is my first post on AITA.
I am a 18M who is currently in their final semester in their senior year. I plan on attending college, but staying at home rather than living on campus. My dad is a very controlling and doesn't really let me do much. I pretty much go to school, home, work. I rarely get to hang out with friends, go on a drive, or just go get fast food. I feel like if I move away he will still try to control me. He doesn't think that I could live on my own or have the confidence to do things without reassurance, but that's totally false.
My cousin, who is also going to be attending college and staying at home, has offered multiple times (too many to count) that I could live with him and his family. We're all very close and we've dreamed of being roommates since the 6th grade. I feel it would be beneficial to be able to experience more things and be able to choose what I can and can't do, even of there could be possible consequences.
The school year ends in May, and I really want to get a whole headstart and talk to my Dad about this before it's right around the corner. My aunt and uncle, second family of you will, are totally on board with it. I just haven't told my dad about it. So, would I be the asshole if I wanted to live with my aunt and uncle rather than my dad and stepmom?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
AJIYOwzr3v7UigNiQQQN6yaB2zYniJnv
|
a7a8mw
|
{
"description": "using the microwave when my roommate was using it as a timer",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for using the microwave when my roommate was using it as a timer?
|
Last night the woman my girlfriend and I live with was baking chicken in the oven, so Lew and I start preparing our food in the kitchen right next to her. As she’s talking to her friend on speakerphone, we talk to one another about defrosting our beef in the microwave. Our roommate goes into the living room because the dog is destroying one of Lews pillows (we didn’t even say anything or get mad about it) and when she came back into the kitchen we had started using the microwave. Then she goes “I was using the timer on the microwave to know when to take my chicken out of the oven and now I’ll have no idea!!!” REALLY loud and angry and then walked away to her bedroom where she then slammed door. Lew and I didn’t say anything because we were in shock by how mad she got over it. Anyways the REST OF THE NIGHT she didn’t say a word (I enjoyed it wholeheartedly), and there was this air of bitchyness combined with her angrily stomping around. So after it all happened we talked and realized that she could’ve :
A. Used the oven timer since she was using it to cook, therefore not cutting off the use of both the oven and the microwave for everyone around dinner time.
B. Used her phone like everyone else in 2018
C. TOLD US she was using it while she was right next to us.
D. Just silently deal with the annoyance like we deal with all of hers.
So, are we the assholes? Is there an angle on this I could be missing? Also my apologies if any of that reads weird, it’s super early here.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
equejoFGDzVOO6F0HGSt7LfG6MeQRmDB
|
apw4ez
| null |
AITA:Walked out of my old friends lives and they resent me 9 months later
|
the school/college I go to is separated by year, not literally but socially (everyone is group 10 knows each other everyone in group 9 does etc) About 9 months ago I hung out with about four people, jack,john ,Lucy ,bopa. I also spoke to another group and for now they are 'the lads' when jack saw me he would say ,just in earshot "you are such a third wheel OP(me)" I clapped back at him saying that I'm not and that these people legitimately like me. We fell out and hang out with 'the lads' my life got loads better, I wasn't a shut in and had actually found a mental anchor in this group. during a class, stacy tells me that john has spread about that me and another glass mate are dating. I confronted john about it and he blanks me I asked "why cant you just leave this for once, it been 9 months."
TL;DR: old friends are angry at me because I found new friends and they start rumours after nine months
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
VCGZvvqC4creXHGmjMgxIpQZstWrQbXl
|
am7tyi
|
{
"description": "venting to my best friend",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for venting to my best friend?
|
I have this very good friend we will call her Rachel and I used to go to her house every day and always talk and text, but she recently moved away and we haven't talked as much, although I still consider her my best friend. So I dm her on Instagram telling her about how I feel with my life trying to spark a convo and then she mocks me for being upset about things. She said things like "need me to call the waa-mbulance?" and when I say that that makes me upset she says I can't come out of the blue and complain o her. I've known her for over 5 years and anytime she needs to vent i'm always open to talk and support her but it isn't the same way for her. I cant tell her about my problems without being mocked. So am I the asshole for coming to her about my problems seemingly out of nowhere?
TL;DR
I vent to my friend out of no where and she mocks me.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
KqALpDVapuhtcHJJl6GocTaPfM8CkT7L
|
axztlr
|
{
"description": "cutting my mom off financially",
"pronormative_score": 18,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I cut my mom off financially?
|
I’m am currently 21 years old and mid last year I decided to quit my job and join the Army. It’s had its ups and down but I do really like it here and don’t regret my decision to join.
Shortly before I left for basic training, I opened a new checking and savings account with a new bank and set my mom as a joint owner. I did this because we’ve been having financial issues for a long time and I didn’t want her be unable to pay her monthly expenses. She was on section 8 but due to something I don’t really want to explain here, she’s off and has been trying to get back on with little success. I said she could take what she needed if she was ever short on rent before leaving and that was that.
Fast forward 2 months and I’ve graduated basic training. I went in as an E-1 so I was making around $670 every two weeks. I checked my bank account and noticed I only had $200 saved up. This upset me a great deal since I was paying my own debits back and planned to wipe out anything I had left with what I had earned. But I decided not to bring it up since it would ruin mood of family day.
Now we’re about 4 months later and I’m about to graduate AIT. I’m making that good E-2 pay, $844 a check on average and I have currently have $168 in my account. My monthly expenses total $400 max a month (Phone Bills, Credit Card payments and anything extra I need in a month). The rest she has been using. In all I’ve spent at most 35%-40% of everything I make and have little to show for it. I’ve talked to her about how this affects me since soon I’ll be moving to a bigger base where I’m pretty much told I’ll need a car to get around to here I’ll need to be. (Cheapish and used, I’m not dumb in that regard).
Upon graduation I should take home about $2500 subtract the $650ish I may be using in that time. But if she keeps using my money I may not see any of it.
To give context since I didn’t add it in, I lived with my mom and 16 year old sister who works hard in school but doesn’t work a job or have an income. She probably won’t be getting one soon either since transportation where they live isn’t great.
My mom has said she’s been looking for a 1 bedroom apartment but that’s all she’s said about it. She currently works and is driving for Uber for extra money so she not being lazy.
The reason I ask this is because I care about them and their well being but I can’t take care of myself and prepare for my future if this keeps up.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 15,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 18,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
Bi6bnDCZyKnTE2rSdlBPUPnPXglNptMN
|
ayg75a
|
{
"description": "not wanting to let my parents claim me as a dependent",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for not wanting to let my parents claim me as a dependent?
|
Obligatory am on mobile so excuse errors or formatting
I am a 22[M] who is a full-time student and part-time worker. I’ve been in college for three years. And that whole time I have lived at home.
The agreement with my parents is they would let me live at home for free as long as A) I was in school or B) paying off my schooling. They have not contributed any money towards my college.
I have no debt because I went to community college and now am at a cheaper state school to finish off my bachelors. Meanwhile I still live at home.
I work around 15-20 hours a week to support myself. New clothes, car, cat, some groceries, and travel. I work very hard for what i have and did the smart route for school to keep it cheaper.
Recently, my school changes my FAFSA loans and would only give me half of what I needed before school started. I went to my parents for help on getting a loan and my mother told me no.
Now tax season is upon us and they want to claim me as a dependent. When the the only thing they do is let me live at home. A house which they would already be paying for so me being there isn’t costing them extra money since I buy most of my own groceries.
I’m not ungrateful for them letting me live there and don’t want to sound ungrateful. I am just frustrated that since they don’t support me and don’t pay for my college that they think they have the right to claim me as a dependent.
So am I the asshole?
Also, I haven’t had the conversation with them yet. Any advice on how to approach it fairly?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 2
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
lZX9MTCynu7aguEgywKELMBiGxFqwJfJ
|
aziw55
|
{
"description": "wanting the attention of a friend in a one on one video call",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting the attention of a friend in a one on one video call?
|
Okay, for some context:
Last night, I was on a video call with one of my friends (we often do this with another person, a three way call), and it was just me and them in the call. About 15 minutes in, they started texting the person who usually is in the call with us. I’m trying to talk with them but to no avail, they keep texting each other. AITA for wanting their attention when it’s a one on one call? Should I be patient when I was asked to be in a call with them? I’m a very shy person when it comes to personal confrontation, and I don’t know if it’ll leave a bad taste in their mouth(s). Help!
P.S. they are not romantically involved, and it’s never about serious topics, it’s usually just small talk and “what’s been going on” sort of stuff.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
rgBwqA4dlzT4fzdcKS8x6TuQlLLvfzPC
|
9u06r1
|
{
"description": "finding dog owners unreasonable",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for finding dog owners unreasonable.
|
I live in the UK where in a few days we will have Guy Fawkes Night where we have bonfires/ fireworks etc.
There is a petition going about on Facebook about banning the celebration or heavily regulating it because dogs experience heightened anxiety during it.
AITA for thinking that it is dog owners are responsible for their dogs wellbeing and general society should not have to make consessions (within reason) for people' s dogs?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
RnKVOEjV2Zpydk32ygWLLyLq8xcNVHCA
|
a95byu
|
{
"description": "not wanting to invite neighbor to my family's Christmas party",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For not wanting to invite neighbor to my family's Christmas party
|
So tonight we're hosting Christmas party and we've planned that it would be time that me and my family spend together, in comortable atmosphere. But now I've learned that my Mother and Father plans on inviting our neighbor, that I know I won't be comortable around. The fact is she most probably spends holidays on her own as her father died last year. I know that I am asshole for the somewhat lacking of empathy but hear me out. This person has history of visiting my sister once and asking her private things like when was her last period, and has she been with someone intimately, mind I remind you that our families aren't close despite sharing ancestors (she's daughter of my grandpas sister). The other thing is hygiene. Even when her dad and mom were alive they lived in constant mess, and she did barely anything to help out around home. The smell isn't pleasant at all.. She never worked entire life even though she's in her 40's. When we helped her out in past she'd exploit our kindness often. Like when my sis went to help her out buy new washing machine, she'd want to save some money from delivery and asked her to help her lifting it even though it was way too heavy. Or other time when my mom gave her lift to town she'd expect them to drive her on daily basis.
I openly told my family that I wouldn't feel comortable around her and they replied that they wouldn't either. I've sugested that instead inviting her we could take some food and pie after dinner to her, but my parents are religious and will probably end up inviting her. I just want to know amita?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
Qc0gs6F5x0c8oPd1qCzIB66DGca4UrUZ
|
af9fgo
|
{
"description": "not hanging out with my little sister",
"pronormative_score": 26,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for not hanging out with my little sister?
|
I am 18 and she is 9. We used to be best buds but now we have almost nothing in common but I still love her lots. I just feel like such an asshole every time I say no to playing with her.
I have work, school, gym, and other relationships to maintain. I try to even it all out but I find that oftentimes I don't prioritize her enough. I try to fit enough time for her as possible but it's really hard. For example sometimes I'll cut down my gym time from 1.5 h to 45 mins so I can be with her for a little bit.
Of course, I am not calling her the asshole in this situation. It would be my other family members that are constantly pressuring me and making me feel really guilty for not having her as my number 1 priority. They are not the most pleasant people, they often call me bitchy for not playing with her for a couple days. And they even tell her that I don't love her enough to play with her which just makes both of us feel terrible.
I am just wondering if I should be the one making some changes here. Also we are Chinese if that makes any difference. Family is pretty important in our culture.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 22,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 26,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
f9PjWJg2JLDZy1CXL8ZEiAu3NYH3aPLj
|
audofo
|
{
"description": "using garlic salt instead of regular salt",
"pronormative_score": 49,
"contranormative_score": 16
}
|
AITA for using garlic salt instead of regular salt?
|
We are gonna have spaghetti and meatballs. We usually put salt in the water for the pasta for flavor. I thought using garlic salt instead of regular salt would maybe taste good so I used that.
She asked me why the water looked cloudy and I said garlic salt. Then she suddenly starts shouting and shrieking at the top of her lungs "NO! YOU DON'T DO THAT!" I asked her why. She yelled as loud as she possibly could from the sound of it "BECAUSE YOU JUST DON'T! I DON'T WANT MY PASTA TO TASTE LIKE GARLIC!"
Except....she covers it with the tomato sauce......which is filled with garlic.......
I started yelling after she did well....because i'm a human being with emotions. She yelled at me if I ever yell at her again I can live somewhere else. Ultimately she threatened to make me homeless over using garlic salt instead of regular salt in water. So am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 49,
"EVERYBODY": 12,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 4
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 49,
"WRONG": 16
}
|
RIGHT
|
OglRsIt8aARlXu8ORvuhmJKenUOWqNNE
|
asyd2u
|
{
"description": "telling someone to fuck themselves after they gave me unwanted information about my house's past",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for telling someone to fuck themselves after they gave me unwanted information about my house’s past?
|
Yesterday I posted in my town’s “memories” Facebook group asking if anyone had any old photos of my house. It was built in 1898 so I’m sure it’s gone through many changes in its long life time, so I wanted to know what it has looked like in the past. Cue some asshole telling me, “definitely haunted!!” and continuing to comment about it and tagging someone who’s previously lived here, after I told them I don’t think it’s haunted and want to know nothing about that bullshit. We’ve lived here since September and haven’t had any creepy feelings or weird experiences (and believe me, if it was haunted we’d have probably heard it by now— I can hear my husband walk across the upper floor step by step when I’m downstairs).
Earlier today, I was at work and someone else sent me a message on Messenger, telling me about how some couple lived in the basement (which is unfinished and not even remotely liveable currently, nor does it look like it’s ever been liveable) in the 1980s was on drugs and stomped their newborn baby to death while their 2-year-old watched. Like why the FUCK would you message someone about something like that, ESPECIALLY after they explicitly expressed no desire to hear any negative things about the house? So I became angry and told them to go fuck themselves and mind their own fucking business. They told me, “there’s no need to be rude” as if they weren’t being supremely rude by sending me the message in the first place. So, AITA and was I actually rude for telling them to fuck themselves?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
OFsUoyVqdHJJeEv2FzccAV3qn7McO2BF
|
azmq4y
|
{
"description": "calling my brother out on how he treats my family",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for calling my brother out on how he treats my family?
|
For context, im not yet of age to actually pay rent and leave house. Its a single story rancher style house, two bedroom, one bathroom, and one master with a seperate bathroom. We are barely clinging on to the house but we have nine people living there. One person tries to sustain it, my dad, and hes pretty sick of my oldest brother and his partner.
They have not paid rent since they've arrived in June of last year and somehow still dont have enough to afford a low income apartment. I've heard no end of complaining from my eldest even though he doesn't pay rent, spends almost all his money on weed, doesn't do dishes, has left his bowl outside three times, and doesn't care for his two children.
Since June, my neices are getting heavier treatment and no longer listen to anyone. Many dishes have been broken, our house is messier than ever, and I can never leave my room. I'm scared to talk to him and have not ever responded to him aggresively, no matter how much I want to.
This isnt the entire story, but I think its enough to make a decision, all you need to know is this runs seven years deep and ive hated every second being in his presence. So, people of this sub, WIBTA?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
8ZQgbn8dWsouTteoy1mp68ZGFqNi8eN3
|
b0mu7q
|
{
"description": "not making it to my boyfriend's surgery",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not making it to my boyfriend’s surgery?
|
I’m from the subcontinent. Where parents are stricter than ever and the whole concept of dating is plain right outrageous.
My boyfriend and I have been convincing our parents for marriage. His has come along, but not mine. Even after a month’s rationalising and convincing, they are not agreeing. This might seem alien to the Westerns but this is how most things are done here.
My boyfriend has his incision today. He’s admitted right now. I’ve been praying for him since last night. He has a swelling filled with pus, the doctors will be draining the pus out and then taking the sample to find out what was the issue.
He told me his room number, he wanted me to come obviously. But his whole family was there. And I didn’t deem it wise to make an appearance when my parents hadn’t been nice enough to reply to their marriage proposal.
I decided to stay the whole day in the parking lot, to have a sense that I am close to him. But midday, I had a migraine attack and my father asked me not to leave home. These feel like excuses, I should’ve made it to the hospital despite all of this.
I feel like absolute shit right now. The taunting and gossips were secondary, I should’ve been there I believe. I feel like i am the asshole for not being there when he needed me.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
Lss681rMfWDdqdw7Kpn444y1aoVyfYxH
|
9y8zo7
|
{
"description": "falling out with my brother over his repeated use of my things when I've told him not to mess around with them",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for falling out with my brother over his repeated use of my things when I’ve told him not to mess around with them
|
So me and my brother are both musical people (he’s been playing guitar since he was a kid and I’ve played piano since I was a kid). Recently my brother expressed an interest in learning some basic piano/keyboard stuff for songs that he writes as he’s a songwriter which I was all for and I gave him one of my old keyboards I don’t use anymore. The keyboard wasn’t bad by any means and would suit his needs well. I myself own 2 pianos, one being worth £2000 and the other £1500. I paid for the majority of the pianos with my own money (my parents paid the rest off as I got them when I was younger and didn’t have a job). Now where the problem comes in is that he repeatedly keeps sneaking downstairs and playing my pianos when I’m not home when I have told him to not do that as a he has damaged one of them in the past and I just generally don’t want him playing something I paid so much for. I snapped at him today because he accidentally deleted some important recordings I had on my electric piano and tried to pretend it wasn’t him. He has multiple £800+ guitars that I wouldn’t even think of touching without his permission so AITA for shouting at him?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
zQI3MsQfIJp7TbohVENYNbw0F7bneas0
|
a0ygvu
|
{
"description": "trading a laptop my parents got me as a gift for a different (better) one",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
WIBTA If I traded a laptop my parents got me as a gift for a different (better) one?
|
Long time lurker, first time potential asshole. My parents got me a new/refurbished PC as a gift because my old laptop was barely functioning. But it isnt the laptop that I needed or even wanted. I dont have enough money to outright buy the laptop that I've had my eye on, but selling this one for a few hundred bucks would give me enough to buy the other. I dont want to be rude to my parents because I know they spent their money on this laptop and I am extremely grateful for it. But I'm fearful that it just isnt going to get the job done as well as i need it to.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
SGyqLoodX5TdUs7wZmxlyRrzK0qdeGDC
|
asand2
|
{
"description": "doubting my fiancée wants to get married",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For doubting my fiancée wants to get married.
|
Everytime I bring up the wedding she seems troubled and does not seem nearly as happy with planning everything (I am helping where I can but also I know when to shut up and agree woman and weddings am I right) the wedding is 8 months away and I have had to borrow money from my mother for it which kills me being raised in a house so poor I knew from being a child to never ask my mum and dad for a thing.
Context shes been depressed for nearly a year and dew to that and health issues she quit work. I can live with her not wanting to work until she feels she can. Her health is getting a lot better but she is still depressed and won't get help I understand this as I have been their.
I feel the wedding is a burden for her.
Also I have not talked to her about this all yet.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
py82UTQSwG0vid2OLlrebVcPMPHBHn3B
|
b8qqgi
| null |
AITA because my food was on the floor?
|
So my SO went out to get tacos with his friends while I finished tidying up. I decided to take a shower and he got back before I was finished. I walk into the room and he has on the table a paper bag with one empty salsa cup, another bag full of salsa unused, his own plate, et cetera. My food is in a container and in a bag, but sat on the floor. Why would it be in the floor? There was plenty of room for it to be on the table. Am I the a-hole for getting pissy about my food being sat on the floor? He said he “wanted it to stay warm.” Also of note, we have three cats that get into everything.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
lHlpL4B8CmHPvF783CYloJlYOe81ults
|
a1kh1s
|
{
"description": "stealing my roommate's $10 bill that he had drunkenly lit on fire to let burn to prove a point that money meant nothing to him",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for stealing my roommate's $10 bill that he had drunkenly lit on fire to let burn to prove a point that money meant nothing to him?
|
Roommate was shitfaced, as always. We start talking about money. I mention "Yea it just sucks that no matter how much we think money doesn't matter, we still NEED it."
He whips out a $10 bill and lights it on fire and drops it in the ashtray to show how he doesnt give a shit about money.
I quickly blow it out and take the bill and say "well I give a shit about money."
I went to my room to sleep. He's been ignoring me all week up until this morning when he asks me to spot him $5 for for a couple Mike's Harders. I told him "I thought money didn't mean anything to you." and he just goes on a rant about me being an asshole and always needing to be right blah blah.
Dude's been late on rent 3/5 months we've lived together.
AITA for stealing my roommates burning $10 bill?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
CHSkjlc4HKJdSQ6vDnXsMcD8SfZDHOZI
|
ac0xg3
|
{
"description": "Dog-sitting gone wrong",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA? Dog-Sitting Gone Wrong
|
Sorry, I couldn’t think of a better title. And this is really long.
My brother and his wife often go on trips throughout the year. They have 2 young kids and 2 dogs. His wife texted me asking if I could spend time at their house to watch their dogs for the weekend. My parents (who live up the street) are always watching their kids and hate their dogs. I assumed they were asking me because they said no, so I said it’d be no problem. I had plans that weekend, but nothing major, so I canceled them, unbeknownst to my brother and his wife.
Her text was brief asking me to stay at the house with them because they didn’t want them alone all day and all night, and after I said yes, there wasn’t more info than a “thank you”.
My brother called me up the next day and said thank you and something about the alarm and leaving me money for a dinner.
Friday rolls around and I was supposed to cover the dog’s dinner that night. However, my sister wanted to hang out with me as I’m not normally in town (I live 50 minutes away). She said she would feed the dogs before I got there and then we’d be able to hang out. For reference, my brother left around 4 after being home all day and the dogs were fed around 6 and my sister stayed until 7:30, at which point she blocked them in the kitchen for the night.
I went out to dinner with my sister that night, stopped over at my brother’s house to check on the dogs around 10, let them out and spent some time with them. I noticed he left me some money on the counter for dinner. Too nice, I didn’t need to be compensated, I was just doing them a favor. My mother earlier in the day mentioned that my old bedroom in the house was empty and that I could crash there. So I walked up the street to crash there for the night.
When I woke up, my mom asked me if I wanted to have breakfast with her sisters at the house. I fed the dogs at 7 am and hung out until 8 am. Then went back up to my parent’s for breakfast.
I planned on spending the rest of the day doing schoolwork at the house while hanging with the dogs. After breakfast, I get a phone call from my brother and you can tell by his voice that he’s frustrated. He says “What’s going on? Why are you up at Mom and Dad’s?” in an exasperated voice. I told him I fed the dogs breakfast and that Mom asked me to have breakfast with them, a bit of questioning in my voice because I was confused as to what was going on. He then asked me why I didn’t sleep at his place last night and why my sister fed the dogs, still seeming frustrated. I tell him that my sister said she could feed them dinner and that I checked on them but mom offered me my old bed, so I slept up there. I’m starting to feel defensive, but only because he’s sounding offensive (Worth noting, he has smart cameras all over his house and gets notifications for the alarm being set/disengaged, so he knows what’s going on at all times, hence why he knew that my sister fed the dogs and that I wasn’t at their house)
Right after I finished explaining this, he blows up on how “The entire point of you watching the dogs is so that they’re not alone at night. If we wanted them fed, then we could have just had mom or dad stop in and do that. The whole point of watching the dogs is being there to watch them, not up the street. What the hell are we paying you for?”
The tone in his voice is cutting. I feel tears start to well up, but anger boils from inside. “Well, you guys never said that! You never told me sleeping over there was make or break for it. I only got a text from #WifesName saying that you’d like me to spend time at the house to watch them. Also, I never asked for money or knew I was getting paid for this.”
“First off, I *TOLD* you that we were going to pay you over the phone the other day. Don’t even try that. Secondly, #WifesName’s text said that ‘we didn’t want them alone all day and all night’ so it should be apparent that we expected me to sleep there. If we would have known, we would have gotten someone else who could have done the job.” That last one hurt.
“You said you were leaving me money for dinner for one night, not $40. And I read that as you didn’t want them alone ‘all day AND all night’, they haven’t been alone all day and all night, and they won’t. I just didn’t know you meant you wanted them to be watched 24/7. You guys spend more time away from them when you’re home and I planned on spending the rest of the day with them anyway. But now you’ll never know because it’s not even past 9 am on Saturday, and I’m already being chewed out on doing a shitty job. I’ll go down right now and hang out with them.” I was getting bitter.
“Don’t even bother. I’m going to get someone else to take care of them. This is the last thing I wanted to deal with while on my vacation.” He does this. Guilt trip. Though, it is his vacation, I feel bad that he’s worried about this while he shouldn’t be.
“Are you serious? I canceled plans and drove down here just to watch your dogs and you’re going to cancel on me because I wasn’t unconscious in the same house that they were unconscious in? When you literally never told me that was a requirement! That’s so ridiculous.” I was getting exasperated.
“I’m sorry that you feel that way. Don’t act like you didn’t know we wanted you to sleep down here, Mom and Dad could have done what you’re doing.”
“I didn’t know! Where would I have slept?! We never talked about it. Did you just want me to post up on the couch? Did you wash the sheets on a bed for me? I expected we’d talk about this if sleeping there was the expectation. Mom hates your dogs, I expected she either said no or that you didn’t want to ask her *yet again* to help with them.”
“That’s so ridiculous. Why wouldn’t you ask us where to sleep if that was such a big question?”
“Because I didn’t know you cared! I had no idea it was this big of a thing. I would have just slept down with the dogs if I thought it was that important to you guys. It wasn’t communicated effectively.”
“Well, I thought it was. Either way. I’ll be getting someone else to watch the dogs. Keep the money.”
“I can still do it, I’ll sleep there tonight. I don’t care about the money.”
“I’d rather you not. I don’t need these complications.”
*click*
Eventually we made up and moved on like brothers do. We both decided we were acting childish the way we blew up at each other. We *rarely* fight as we get along really well. But I always wonder if I was just way off base, if they should have explained things more, or if we were both being dumb.
Also, I tried to explain the situation as best I could. It is my point of view, so keep that in mind that it probably has natural bias and backstory that my brother didn’t have.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
LQFkUlidmK3DLUIzqznBAfqjvo0xTnJ7
|
9umdkl
|
{
"description": "specifically not inviting my \"friend\" to go out with me and my other friends for my birthday",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for specifically not inviting my “friend” to go out with me and my other friends for my birthday?
|
My birthday is coming up in a couple weeks and i posted a status on my facebook asking who’d like to go out with me for my birthday. I also made a post on my instagram saying that nobody probably wanted to go out with me for my birthday and i was gonna be at home lonely. Low and behold two of my really good friends, we’ll call them Amy and Jan for the sake of the story commented on the facebook status asking when and what were doing. I decided karaoke and maybe a few drinks. So its a done deal got plans set for my birthday.
Nowwww i have another friend named “Beth” who left a comment on my instagram post. she just commented a skeptical emoji face on the instagram post along with the words hmmmmm, kind of implying she was there if i wanted to go out with her.
A little back story on Beth: she used to be my best-friend and we have some history together (3 years of friendship). Our friendship ended at one point over a number of things but the main reason is that she tried to steal my current boyfriend. She’s always had to be the center of attention or dominant female in our relationship. I dont do well with these types of people, i dont care to compete especially when i dont view things in a competitive mindset. We both were involved with the same friend group and she was one of main reasons i left. I was the only other girl in the friend group and her need for constant validation from our guy friends and constant attention really started getting on my nerves. She would think it was jealousy when it was really just me getting irritated. She was so self centered that at one point she got mad that my boyfriend and i were hanging out without her and she was angry we weren’t working around her schedule to all hang out together.
I stopped talking to her in oct and we reconnected at the beginning of this year around April. I kept my distance and i only consider her an acquaintance now. Shes always trying to hang out with me and I’m just not feeling it anymore, i know she wants things to go back to the way they used to be but i just cant bring myself to get close to someone like that. Shes been making advances by trying to be my gym buddy, trying to plan a time and day of the week to hang out every week which doesn’t really work with my schedule as it is sporadic. In a way I’ve mostly been ghosting her.
Im afraid if i invite her she’s going to once again make everything about her when it’s my special day. Shes going to find some reason to start unnecessary drama and I’m just not here for it. She clearly wants to go and knows I’ve been avoiding contact with her. AITA for not inviting her?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
XaNFIm0f7zfVoy4RcvfQhACawgF6PeH6
|
afz91n
|
{
"description": "knowing that my gf is not trying to meet other guys for dating because she wants to keep me as her friend, and not doing a single thing to change the situation",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA (25m) for knowing that my gf (23f) is not trying to meet other guys for dating because she wants to keep me as her friend, and not doing a single thing to change the situation?
|
She said she wants to stay friends because she has no other friends, and I said sure, but if you start seeing someone else we'll have to stop hanging out for a while because I'll be too jealous. And now, while I'm meeting other women to find a new partner, she's forcing herself to stay single because she doesn't want to lose me as a friend. I'm perfectly aware that this is what's happening because I know her very well and she's said so subtly.
I'm not doing anything about it, not sure what I would do even if I wanted to do something anyway. It's not like I can force her to see other guys, and I still like to hang out with her as a friend. We are still doing all the fun activities that we used to do as a couple.
Seriously though, am I an asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
WRONG
|
ZwKVPZvyc20Nay7st7aaBdnIy5TiZsVT
|
amtwvn
|
{
"description": "not serving a customer right before closing",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not serving a customer right before closing?
|
I work in sales in a tech store. One evening, about 5 minutes before closing, after my manager had asked me to try to move all the remaining customers out of the store, a customer rushes in. She walks over to me and asks me to walk through some TVs with her (show differences between different models, help her choose the right one etc, usually takes a little while), to which I replied "Sorry, we usually put the last sale through before now." I also added that there just wasn't enough time to put through a sale so close to closing time. At this point she got visibly annoyed and said that she would "just find another store that would."
​
I should also add that a while prior to this, I did try to put through a sale that close to closing time, which meant we had to stay open a little while past closing, meaning my colleagues were late getting out (they were quite annoyed). That being said, I still felt a little bit like an asshole after that encounter with that woman, although I think she also slightly anticipated not being served, given that she was already pretty standoffish when she came up to me.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
RXdLhZtqJ2OW8JooSmH6s0cpo09zDPLU
|
acv2tj
|
{
"description": "being upset and then ending things with my girlfriend over what she posted on Instagram",
"pronormative_score": 59,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for being upset and then ending things with my girlfriend over what she posted on Instagram?
|
Me and my girlfriend ( now ex ) used to work at the same place but then she got a new job so she had to relocate and have met other trainees the day she reported to her new job. Her batch have known each other for two weeks or so.
One day she was walking to the train station after work and one of her male trainee happened to be behind her. So he texted her on IG saying that "she has a beautiful back", I'm not sure if she responded to his message after he texted her to chat. But then she screenshotted his text to her and posted it on her Instagram story with an additional caption saying "being chased by a handsome man" along with some GIFs of a heart-eyed bunny. I saw her story and I felt disrespected as the way I see it, she is directly flirting with her male colleague and furthermore posting it on IG.
So I texted her and asked her what's all this about and she replied saying that I have nothing to worry about as he is only a friend from work. We had an argument over that story and she defended herself saying she should be allowed to socialize or post anything on her social media and that I should not be controlling her. I shot back saying this is not about controlling her but about her not having any boundaries between socializing and flirting openly. After that exchange, she told me if I wanted to control her, I should look for another person to control so I broke it off on the spot.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 55,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 59,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
fDlk6Wf9GPVLkJswfV3NDkwFofHtDpVf
|
arfifl
|
{
"description": "watching an Anticipated Film with my cousin instead of my friend",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For Watching An Anticipated Film With My Cousin Instead Of My Friend?
|
posting on a throwaway account for sake of anonymity.
​
My friend and I were supposed to watch a movie and we had plans to sometime this week but we never set a date. Well, earlier in the week, my cousin expressed interested in watching it with me because he liked the trailers, the characters history, etc. And not to mention that he paid for us to go eat one more than one occasion so it was more than fair. So Wednesday night, my cousin and I go see the movie, it was meh, and we go home. Once I sit in my car waiting for it warm up, I sent him a brief text warning not to waste his hard earned dollars on the film. Later on in the week, said friend and I get into a discussion over the film and he correctly deduces that I've already seen the film based on what I was saying (critiquing the length, direction, things like that) and he becomes upset that I went and saw the film. I point out that while, yes, I may have seen the film, it doesn't mean that I said no to him and that we could still go. He mentions that its fine now, but that it was cold of me to do so. I scoff and roll my eyes. After a few hours I was thinking that maybe I could've communicated it a bit better but I still feel weird that he said that even though we could still go. I don't know? Am I The Asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
tB3BhhPa8MPq4CyyTasakYKM1sxdy7jy
|
alour4
|
{
"description": "setting boundaries and putting responsibility before friendship",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for setting boundaries and putting responsibility before friendship?
|
Alright, buckle up, this is going to be a bumpy ride. Let me provide some background and context before presenting myself to the court.
My husband and I have been friends with another couple for years. They are what would conventionally be called best friends. We are godparents to their sons and have done our best to always be there for them. However, things have changed and not for the better over the years.
Initially, when we began hanging out with them and getting close, husband and I were newlyweds and generally up to doing whatever, whenever. We were not exactly responsible with money and functioned on the mindset, "the bills will be there tomorrow." we would drop everything to hang out and they were at our house or we were out with them 4-6 days a week and they would be in our home until 2-4am on work nights. Being new godparents, we also would drop everything to help with our first godchild if it was needed as well.
Over time, we realized this wasn't a healthy mindset. We started to want to get our shit together. Being in debt isn't fun. So we started saving money and paying down bills, going out and spending money less. We explained to them and they didn't seem to like it, but they didn't end the friendship over it. Then because the schedule of constantly entertaining until late hours was burning us out, we started setting healthier boundaries with how many days we would have company and how late they could stay. It wasn't malicious, but it needed to be done. This started clearly to bother them.
It is important to add here that I have SAD/MAD/ and PTSD. Earlier on in the friendship, I was on proper medications that helped me with being able to function. Once my husband and I started trying to conceive, I got pulled off all the things that worked and put on medication that left me in "maintenance" mode. Over time, my anxiety and depression have really spiraled and I have become more withdrawn. I have profoundly apologized for this and stressed it was not personal. This has gotten worse since we got pregnant after five losses. I am high risk and can't really leave the house and I am also in my last leg of my Master's program and the epitome of no life. Keep this bit of information shelved now.
So, as you can see stressors we're starting to take place in the friendship. This couple can't stand to be at home and we are now trying to balance out work and personal lives. We are also trying to deal with grief after recurrent miscarriages. We thought our friends would understand that we are hurting and need to process these feelings. They don't.
Once we finally got pregnant, the final nail in the coffin came down. I was watching my godson for them when they went to work, I did it for free because they are our friends and I love my godson. I told them I would do this as long as I could. My doctor had different plans, about 12 weeks into my pregnancy, I got put on bedrest and was told that chasing a three year old around wasn't good for high risk pregnancy. So I had to tell them the time had come and I couldnt watch him anymore. I gave plenty of notice and felt like shit about it. They never set up a backup plan and then when we told them, they flipped out on us. They said it was last minute and said we were selfish.
After that, the friendship has been off. Even after our second godchild was born. My anxiety and depression have been through the roof and I haven't really reached out to anyone, I feel like a burden when I do. My husband works all the time and he's exhausted when he gets home. We are both in our Master's programs and I am due to give my thesis defense about three weeks after my child is born. There are not enough hours in a day to spend with each other, much less anyone else. We have invited them over to hang out but money is very very tight and we have had to turn down out of state trips or spontaneous double date nights.
This brings us to now. They are supposed to be the godparents to our child. They have shown no interest in the baby or anything involving the baby. It hurts. She always seems annoyed or put off when I reach out, so I stopped. They found friends that go out a lot and in the process have dropped years of friendship to kind of rub in our faces they don't need us. We knew things would change once we started trying to get our shit together. We didn't think that this would be the result.
Then last night her husband was texting with mine and said she had no friends here, very pointedly. That he had few. My husband said we were here if they needed us and we were sorry that we have been busy and cannot go out as much. This spirals into an argument that everything we say is an excuse. That a high risk pregnancy, work, and school shouldn't stop us from having a life. Then they say that anxiety can't control someone's life and nobody is ever that depressed all the time and that we are pregnant now and should "get over our losses." They said we are no fun and if they continued giving their honest opinion that we would end the friendship.
They worked in mental health, she has a degree in psychology. Of all people I thought they would understand how crippling anxiety is when you can't take the medication for it. We didn't just drop them as friends, we just said they couldn't be over every night til the crack of dawn and we couldn't spend money that needed to go to bills and the baby, especially after I had to quit work for the pregnancy. My heart is hurting and talking to them isn't an option. I am willing to admit my wrongs and try to fix them, they refuse to do that and it won't ever get resolved because they don't ever believe in apologies or working issues out. I never thought trying to do the right thing for the future would make them feel like this and want to just drop us. If the shoe was on the other foot, we would support them and come up with things to do that didn't require money.
Thank you in advance for reading this post. It's long and I am sorry. So at the end of the day, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
PJTM6rs8LoAzH9lRDdcEIqzYe3UakR46
|
b0d2uq
|
{
"description": "not moving over for someone who doesn't understand how to merge",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not moving over for someone who doesn't understand how to merge?
|
Howdy!
​
I've been moving out of my old house all week long, and finally taking the last load. I have a 1-ton van fully loaded with boxes and misc stuff . I've got a Car (also with stuff in it) loaded on a car trailer that i'm towing. I'm in the right lane with my cruise control set to 65. This was the speed limit for the road.
​
There's an elevated on ramp that's a hair over a 1/3 of a mile or a .55 KM . that onramp is down hill and has an excellent view of the highway .
​
Well a car is driving down the on ramp and directly next to my trailer and he decides to also go exactly 65 .
​
its very light traffic, no one is in front of me or behind me for at least a 1/2 mile , there is a car to my left mostly ahead of me. The car to my right makes no attempt to speed up, or to slow down. My total van+trailer+car weight is easily 11,000 pounds probably closer to 12K . speeding up from 65 is more of an idea than something that happens, and the last thing you want to do while towing is slam on your brakes. So i just kept driving on cruise control.
​
the Driver next does nothing at all to merge and he ends up on the shoulder. at which point in time he discovers he can apply his brakes to slow down and merge onto the highway. immediately after that he figures out his car can also accelerate and he speeds up to get next to me to give me a 1 finger solute.
​
Do people honestly expect someone towing should be the person speeding up or slowing down so that they can merge zero effort?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
iihCqmFUKKv6plRHiIaMuAzFgfLrLEbm
|
ajckoj
|
{
"description": "not wanting the dog we just adopted",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA: I don't want the dog we just adopted.
|
Some things you need to know:
1. This is a throw-away account.
2. I was recently diagnosed Borderline Personality Disorder and I just started taking meds but they probably won't work for two weeks (take that information how you will.)
My partner and I have been together for almost two years. It's been rocky, partially because of them, and always blown out of proportion because of my (previously) un-diagnosed BPD. They have wanted a dog since I met them--not, actively advocating for one, but it would sometimes come up in conversation. I wanted one too, I grew up around dogs and cats, but we live in a small apartment and as I've learned over time, stress is a trigger for me.
If you don't know much about Borderline, basically it involves identity issues, extreme mood swings, impulsive behavior, fears of being abandoned, self-isolation...blah blah blah. Anyway I was feeling really "up" and decided we should go to the shelter and buy a dog. So...that's what we did.
Don't get me wrong, despite being a high energy breed, some separation anxiety, and being a medium sized dog (kind of big) in a small apartment, it's a great dog. Very smart, easily trainable, loyal, hasn't caused any harm or damage when left alone. Basically it has a ton of great traits and there is no reason to not like it.
However, that fleeting really-fantastic mood has worn off and reality has sunk in. We have a dog. We've had a dog now for a few days and honestly, I'm exhausted. I work full-time and don't do well working full-time either. (Stress is a trigger for me.)
Basically, I really regret this decision. I feel stressed already at work, and now I feel stressed at home. My partner said they would be fine taking the dog out every time it needs to be let out, which makes me feel a little better, but I still feel stressed. My home should be my home BASE. Now, with a dog in our tiny apartment, I have to listen to unwanted sounds, verbalize that I want to be left alone, keep an eye out for bad behavior if the dog is alone in the other room... It's like a huge distraction and disruption from what was once a peaceful place for me to come home and get personal projects done.
We still have days left on our "trial period" with the dog which means we can return the dog if things don't work out, but obviously I feel super guilty. I'm just having this immature rude awakening that I don't actually want a dog in this tiny apartment and I feel shitty because I'm the one that set everything up while feeling high on good emotions. I've had dogs before so I already knew about the work required in caring for one, but I didn't realize how much it would negatively affect me.
My partner knows that I'm unhappy about this decision but doesn't want to return the dog. I honestly don't even want to be at the house anymore and I think it's going to negatively affect our relationship too.
AITA for wanting to return the dog? What would you do?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
MmHodOK0UgiwM0F1QPtXDBxfDqLWKDXd
|
b1za34
|
{
"description": "walking out of the family dinner",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for walking out of the family dinner
|
My stepdad was diagnosed with ALS a while ago and it made me question my relationship with him. I realized that there was a lot of resentment, grudges, and aggression. I felt that it wasn’t a healthy bond, and I wanted to remedy it
I was heading to a family dinner and my girlfriend was dropping me off. She went inside to use the restroom and my stepdad got upset at me over that because he thought I invited her to eat with us, but she was only dropping me off. He started to get weird about his decision and tells me to go fetch her back to the house, so I did
I met with my grandma, a few uncles, and my stepdad’s friends that he invited over
After dinner, I asked if I could talk to him so we moved into a private room. I told him that I felt like our relationship together is strained and asked if he’d like to spend time with me on the weekends. He doesn’t reply to my question and instead brings up other unrelated topics he’s been upset about (like my gf entering the house). I tell him that I wasn’t talking about that, and that I wanted a better relationship with him but he starts to bring up other topics, which made me feel like he was trying to avoid answering
I felt disheartened and that he wasn’t listening to me. he started to get more angry the more I told him that I felt like he wasn’t listening, so I got really anxious and told him that I was going to leave the room. He demanded that I stay, so I lingered for a little bit next to the door. I felt like his tone was getting more aggressive and it spooked me out, so I said sorry and left
I headed for the front door as quietly as I could and didn’t say goodbye to anyone because I was about to cry
I stepped outside and was going to head into the car but then I hear my stepdad shouting across the house, “OP! GET OVER HERE! NOW!” and I freeze up because I got scared and started to cry. It was embarrassing for me because everyone who was at the family dinner was paying attention to what’s happening. He continued to shout for me to come back into the house. I didn’t move and stood there because I didn’t want everyone to see me crying, so he came over to me instead
He looks at me and says, “aren’t you going to say goodbye to everyone?” and I felt bad about it. Then he said “You can’t keep doing this. Go.” and then he went back into the house
I felt really bad about walking out, I don’t know if there was something else I should’ve done. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
VZ3kvG2sk3vE0osD6wV1Co4AZWet8IH4
|
aqzcve
|
{
"description": "not donating to a community member that got Leukemia",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not donating to a community member that got Leukemia?
|
I know this guy who was a part of my sports team, the thing is he always didn't treat me very well and I didn't like him. Is it ok to not donate to his GoFundMe page when he was diagnosed with leukemia?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
UuoglOaW6FhVQUf6vSlCWHigjgvoHf9p
|
ad4joy
|
{
"description": "keeping my best friends deceased wife's ishuffle",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
WIBTA if I kept my best friends deceased wife's ishuffle?
|
My best friends wife and my close friend passed away 2 yrs ago. The deceased was a music lover and we would bond over music. Being snobby yet really diverse, it was so much fun finding new music and sharing it...or finding old obscure shit and digging a rabbit hole together.
When she died I put together a playlist for the wake. I asked her wife if there were any songs she wanted played or what her and the deceased would listen to all the time. She gave me her Ishuffle and I used some songs from it. I had it for a long time mainly because I just kept forgetting it. I thought I had given it back to her while on a roadtrip last year but I found it a box she'd given me. She hasn't asked for it back in the last 2yrs and has even given me some vinyl of the deceased. I kinda don't wanna give it back. When a close friend or family member dies I tend to keep something of theirs. My best male friend who passed, I kept his hoodie. My grandmother,I kept her acordian and head scarves, a hairbrush from another...I keep things that remind me of them or if its connected to a memory.
ffffuck I sound like a serial killer...
Anyhow would I be the asshole if I never gave it back unless she asks?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
xQlmJeszBtEBmFS48WLHsGkoiTmeJjpD
|
av9gws
|
{
"description": "not being attracted to my husband after he has gained a lot of weight",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for not being attracted to my husband after he has gained a lot of weight?
|
I feel like a dick. But here is the deal. When my husband and I met, he was very active, worked out all the time, ate well and was involved in a lot of outdoor activity. I’ve never been a fitness buff or anything, but I have always been in shape. We got married and had 2 kids and we’ve been married 7 years and I love him, he’s my best friend, he’s an amazing husband and father, but he has gained like 75 pounds since we got married and lost all muscle tone and I just have a hard time finding him attractive anymore. We still have regular sex, we still get along well. But I find that when I look at old pictures of us I get really sad cause I miss when he had muscle tone.
I get that he is busy with work and the kids but I feel like he doesn’t try. I’ll watch him eat cake and just feel physically disgusted by him eating calories. I feel like if the roles were reversed I would be so hurt by that! But I feel like the part that makes me an asshole is that I don’t really have to try to keep in shape. I do yoga and I try to eat semi-healthy but mostly my metabolism just keeps the weight off of me. I’ve weighed the same since high school (5’5” 120lbs), even after two pregnancies and I feel like if I did start to gain weight I would do something about it but I can’t say for sure cause I’ve never had to so maybe if it was hard for me like it is for him I would also just kinda give up on it. And I feel like he is such a loving person that he would never have these thoughts about me that I’ve been having about him.
I don’t say anything mean to him about it, I make occasional comments about being concerned for his health, and the other day I showed him pictures from our honeymoon and been like, “oh look how young we looked before kids!” Hoping he would get the hint but he didn’t seem to. He talks about going back to the gym sometimes and I looked up nearby gyms and compared membership options for him but he just never went. I don’t know if at this point in marriage I’m just supposed to be okay with not really being turned on by my spouse.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
hkb61XK6uJXeQ7ok0SMFwudwsHhqSEOy
|
b4cu6y
|
{
"description": "calling my sister out for choosing not to work and being on welfare",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA-I call my sister out for choosing not to work and being on welfare.
|
Basically, my sister has chosen not to have a stable job in over two years. She is in her late 20s and works cash gigs for her spending money. She also rents her house from my parents for WAY less than market value and charges her 4 roommates more than she pays to "subsidize" her rent. As a result of being unemployed, she get free health insurance, and food stamps (EBT or whatever it's actually called now.)
​
A little more background on her-she has rejected multiple job offers because she had pre-planned vacations or thought they didn't pay enough, or the drive would be more than 20 min, she quit her last job because she wanted to go on vacation, she has been "going to college" for 10 years trying to figure out what she wants to do, and now that she is nursing school she wants everyone to be proud because she is finally doing something.
​
What bothers me the most about her situation is that when we are around other people, she like to brag about her situation and how she "supports" herself without working and she can go on trips or vacations whenever she wants because she doesn't work. I don't agree with her choices and vocalize them in public or around family be saying things like "You enjoy those things because the rest of us are paying for your insurance", or "I could do that too if I got everyone around me to subsidize my lifestyle."
​
So, AITA for saying these things and disagreeing with her life choices?
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
zLf7E60JkeOpwmnZ4jB0eaDybDGDsRxG
|
b2sqo7
|
{
"description": "distancing myself from my friend",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I distanced myself from my friend?
|
I've been getting closer with this person this year (let's call her V), and while we've had some happy memories, there's a lot of incidents that make me wonder if this friendship should be ended.
(Please don't judge her too harshly, we're in middle school and she's a good person. I wrote this more to question our personal friendship, not to drag her as a person.)
She's affectionate with loads of other people, not just physically, but nice to them and always happy to see them. With me, however, she's curt and I feel like I can't make any mistakes around her or she'll act annoyed and act like I'm a burden.
I also feel like she doesn't act like we're friends unless the situation we're in puts me at a disadvantage. My "friends" play a "game" in which they like to steal my drink (sparkling ice) under the premise of it being "bad for me". And while I enjoy the attention I sometimes get while I try to get my drink back, that's the only time I feel like I'm a part of my friend group. Today, they presented me with an ultimatum: get my drink back today and they stop stealing it, but I lose the little attention I would have gained from the game. I know that to most people it seems obvious to accept my drink and end the teasing, but I'm worried that that would mean that I just lose any opportunities of being included in stuff with the group.
I'm rarely the center of attention in the group, and I'm often rarely even included in the conversation, which is why I'm worried about accepting their offer. I also know that if I tried to distance myself from her, our friends would definitely pick her over me. They don't dislike me, they just prefer her.
We've had a couple of fights this year but nothing major, but I feel like we've just been tense and distant for a while. For example, I'd initiate texts asking how her weekend was, or things like that, and she'd just leave me on read for no reason. She also refused to let me follow her on Instagram and doesn't follow me back, so it stings when she's out there leaving sweet comments on my friend's posts when she won't even return my texts.
She also seems really hesitant for just the two of us to hang out and doesn't seem to want to hang out in group things with me. I'm not even sure if she's trying to do this, but I'm curious if it'd be more beneficial to me if I just ended the friendship. I don't want to do that unless I really have to, as my current friendship with her is just slightly tense but mostly quiet.
Please remember that we're middle schoolers and that my friend isn't necessarily a bad person, so it wouldn't help to post insults about her in the comments. I posted this asking for advice on my current friend situation.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
fJNAmvGGH7VzJDuZ6wLP4jAM91qR6LxA
|
ayeeu2
|
{
"description": "telling my boss",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA if I tell my boss?
|
So I recently posted about my co-intern, who I had a disagreement with. Needless to say, we left it unresolved. I haven't spoken to him or seen him since (except about 3 days ago when I walked into the building and he was sitting in his car).
I had suspected my co-intern of messing with the software on the station/server I was using for the past month. I have confirmed today through the software support line that indeed, the software can only act up if another person logs in. There being only 3 interns (including me), and the other person is my good friend, the only logical person is the other intern who hates me.
So to explain: AL (good friend), Y (intern who hates me). AL and I have issues with our software. She'll have it first some days because she'll change stations after Y leaves the office. I come in right after Y leaves by a few minutes. I'll log into whatever server is free. On days that she changes out, she has issues first, but it will immediately happen to me next. On days that she doesn't, it happens to me only. I figured out that when you log into the software when someone else is on, you can see the preparer's name (I work with tax software) at the bottom of the software page. This is the part that gets me: Y never has issues with his software and AL never has issues when she working with him. (Everyone knows everyone else's schedule. If AL isn't working with me, she's working with him).
Needless to say, this makes me inefficient at work and slows me down when I could be done with a tax return 20 minutes earlier.
It honestly pisses me off and since I have confirmed it 100% (I don't want to accuse anyone unless I know 100%), I want to talk to my boss because now it's not just personal. It's affecting my work.
Would I be the asshole if I told my boss about this issue?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
pFR012m1D4qlWvUvo6pzB0gZJSk3JsW0
|
agesfa
|
{
"description": "accepting another delivery",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for accepting another delivery?
|
Hello all!
I have a dilemma. I'll start off with backstory.
I bought an order from a major retailer for clothing and for some reason half of my order was sent to my Universities Post Office and the other half was sent to my workplace (it was terrible explaining to my new manager why they were getting my shirts and shit).
Before I knew that half the order was at my workplace, I called the major retailer claiming my clothing because when I went to the PO they told me they didnt have it even though the tracking number said it had been delivered.
Long story short, the major retailer resent the order for free including expedited shipping and I'll be getting it by friday.
Am I the asshole for not calling them back to tell them I received my clothes?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
XIccZYxtgGgaAB4MRiQBwBI0a214cMaz
|
awy2n0
|
{
"description": "breaking up with my girlfriend a week after her grandfather died",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for breaking up with my girlfriend a week after her grandfather died?
|
My girlfriend and I have been dating for over 2 years, and ever since I went to college the relationship has begun to fall apart. It was really hard at first and I could tell that she was having just as hard of a time as I was. We would both do our best to drive up to see each other, and we would often take turns every other week. However a few months later she made a new friend and ever since then she stopped making an effort to see me, and I could definitely tell I was becoming less of a priority to her.
She started hanging out with her every single weekend and never decided to come see me.
Her excuse was that she doesn’t have enough money for gas to come see me, yet it’s only a 30 minute difference of a drive from her friend’s house. We eventually went on vacation during winter break, and we definitely had a lot of fun. But during the night and sometimes during the day she would barely give me any attention and would only talk to her friend over text. I even noticed that she was way more excited in her texting with her than she ever was with me.
A month later she finally decided to come see me. I was super excited and I finally thought she was still into me. But as soon as she came up she went to my bed and slept the rest of the night and didn’t spend a single second with me. Over my 2 years she would never stay up late with me, but I found out she would often stay up until 2 AM with her friend.
Just last week her grandfather passed away, and I was doing my best to comfort her over text until I was able to come up for break and do a better job of comforting her in person. Apparently I wasn’t doing a very good job of comforting her though. We didn’t hang out that Friday because she said she would be too sad, but she promised to see me on Saturday for as much time as she could before she had to go to work.
I woke up on Saturday finally excited to see my girlfriend after 2 months, and I find out she went to breakfast with her friend without telling me instead. I immediately felt horrible and I really felt that I wasn’t a priority anymore. She didn’t get back until 2 and decided to invite me just 3 hours before she had to go to work, meaning I would only get 2 hours to see her. For me, this was the breaking point and I decided to break up with her. An hour after I did this she said she had to see her friend in order to be comforted, and she told me it was ridiculous to break up with her over sometime like this, especially due to the timing of her grandfather’s death. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
yT5SRu3cNaDQOo7eCd6xpsbpyXs8lHsy
|
a6qpib
|
{
"description": "not going to my dad's to hang out with my cousin",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not going to my dad's to hang out with my cousin?
|
I am supposed to go to my dad's every week, I missed the last 2 weeks because one of us was sick both times. My cousin hit me up and asked if I wanted to hang out, I haven't seen my cousin in 2 months. I decided not to go to my dad's a 3rd week. I haven't seen my cousin in almost 3 times as long, but my dad is my dad. My cousin didn't know about my visits and my dad was super cool with it, but I still don't know, Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
72j5rVANdPwFdrZYhNeioiexCdzuPitR
|
b9pqwb
|
{
"description": "wanting equal opportunity for myself",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting equal opportunity for myself?
|
I am a mature student six years older than the next oldest student.
​
Without giving too much away, every so often a couple of students are chosen to get experience working in the industry on a real life project. These projects are all expenses paid trips that can last anywhere between a couple of days to a couple of weeks. Students are taken both locally and internationally to work on these large scale productions.
Anyone who is not chosen stays on campus and studies theory.
​
As of yet, and despite being a one of the highest achieving students on the course, I have been chosen to go on precisely **zero** of these trips. Some students are just this week going onto their 6th or 7th.
​
At lunchtime last week, I was sitting with the majority of students on the course and brought this up with them.
They replied that because I'm older and I already have "things on my CV" and it wouldn't be fair if I was chosen.
I said them that I joined and paid for this course with the hope of accessing the same opportunities as them.
They replied that it doesn't matter because I have a CV and these trips given them something to put on theirs.
I also tried raising the point that I am taking this course so that I can change career paths and that because of this they all have about 5x more experience in the subject than I do now.
At this point, loads of people started talking over one another, but they all agreed that I was overreacting in wanting to get chosen for a project and that I don't deserve to be on account of my age.
​
AITA for being arguing about this and being really upset about it right now?
​
​
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
HWpWcsnNzAVs4eTn9xfiz5GMZflfURhV
|
9x82ji
|
{
"description": "telling everyone my girlfriend cheated on me",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for telling everyone my girlfriend cheated on me
|
So i was at home received a message from my girlfriend saying "You know i hooked up with someone right?" i was like "what" she then responded with "sorry" i said "who why when?" she said "(name), idk, at (name)'s party" i was obviously pissed off at this point and said ok "we're done" she then responded with "I'm sorry, bye"
After all this i was pissed off and i wanted to expose her to her friend group and mine etc, I screenshotted it and put it on my snapchat story with the caption "life is great"
i was then told the full story by a friend of hers and apparently she was drunk at a party played spin the bottle and kissed another guy.
Since all that happened we are back together but all my mates hate her and all hers hate her...
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
gbQXoACTEvH6baoyBym6RSVhuTvJJesI
|
am8hvv
|
{
"description": "responding the way I did to this guy",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for responding the way I did to this guy? (Post for someone I know personally)
|
AITA for responding the way I did to this guy?
K So, come context (from said person I know):
I have an account on an app That's like Facebook but for porn.
I am asexual, but use this app because I can find awesome art references in It, or upload pictures that see the human body as the work of art that it is.
Because I have pictures on there and I look EXTREMELY feminine (Like Body shape, Lolita dresses, make up, the whole shebang) I often get pictures from Guys that want Some Booty calls. I typically ask them to double check they read my profile, make sure they understand it. And then if they persist I troll them till they go away (I've never blocked someone myself before this)
Now we get on to today's Feature: Dense Cuntface McGee
https://imgur.com/a/GHpfyJl
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
uu4vZm67qnNvN3Dnv523npFWXf4FtD5I
|
agq2di
|
{
"description": "lying to my employers when directly asked if I plan on leaving and there's money on the line",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for lying to my employers when directly asked if I plan on leaving and there's money on the line?
|
TL;DR at the bottom
My current work situation is a bit complicated, but I'll simplify it the best I can. I am a full-time employee of Company A. Organization B is contacting me from A. B is using me to fulfill their contact with Organization C. Essentially, I do work for C. C is paying B, B is paying A, and A writes me a paycheck. C pays B through a blanket contract. B pays for me more directly.
Around August someone from C reached to interview me for a position in a different group within the organization. I interviewed and was told that it could be a few months before they got their ducks in a row. December I got the official offer and began the onboarding process. This process stalled due to external factors. It will be a few weeks at least until I have my start date. But I have met the team and done all I needed in order to start. This is happening, it's just a matter of when.
Since December, I've been asked directly on multiple occasions if I'm happy in my position and plan on staying for the foreseeable future. A asked if I thought B would try to poach me because they've had issues with that and want to be proactive about keeping me. Meanwhile B is allocating funds for their option year with A and wanted to make sure I was staying before putting funds into the contact to cover my salary. C is also planning a lot of long term projects around me. But I understand that's just the nature of leaving a position and that there's nothing to do about that.
Every time I've been asked, I have told people I am happy in my position, I don't plan on moving from my current city, and that I will let them know when my employment plans change. All of this is technically true. However, I can't help but feel like the asshole here. Especially when it comes to B who is being very direct and has money involved.
So who's the asshole? Them for asking, me for lying, or is it just a bad situation all around?
TL;DR My employers don't know I'm in the final steps of onboarding a new job. I keep getting asked if I'm leaving so they can put money into my contract. I tell them I'm not leaving when I know I am. It's getting to the point where I have to tell them before I have my start date or let them put money into a contact I know I'm abandoning.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
geEkg9m1soZPnQHPAkfhrudvYUrtIjmz
|
b39r2q
|
{
"description": "not paying my cousin to cover my shift",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA If I didn't pay my cousin to cover my shift?
|
Hey Reddit,
I currently work for a relative of mine in the hospitality industry and so far my experience here has been pretty bad...mostly cause the relative is a bit of a hardass and this is not my area of expertise at all. I'm trying to find a different job behind my relative's back but it's hard finding someone to cover my shift considering the other employee who helped me quit because of how my relative treats her employees. Since the only other person who has had experience working in my position is my cousin, I asked her to cover my shift while I go to meet a potential employer (and honestly I need a bit of a break since my only day off is on Mondays). She agreed to cover me so when I asked my relative to get off work early, I informed her my cousin would be coming in for me. My relative then proceeded to ask who was suppose to pay her. In my past job experiences, I have NEVER had to pay an employee out of my own pocket to cover me. I'm not sure if it's normal for people here or if it's because I work a "manager" position but I did not expect I would have to pay for her shift. It could honestly be because the business is not making a lot of money right now so my relative can't afford to pay her...I'm getting desperate in finding a job cause of my work situation so I'm willing to pay her just if it gives me an opportunity to get out of here permanently. But part of me thinks it's not really my responsibility to pay her...I personally think my relative should pay her since she owns the business. Would I be the asshole if I ended up not paying my cousin to cover my shift? Am I in the wrong to think my relative should be paying her instead?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
CGNp4h7MsABMJHNrltF8zOpMMXX2FlKk
|
asd5j6
|
{
"description": "wanting my friend to come over",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting my friend to come over?
|
So my friend comes over a few times a week to smoke weed and watch cartoons. I often make food and we sometimes hookup. Recently we’ve been discussing taking our relationship to the next level but we decided it’s a conversation to best have in person. He was supposed to come over yesterday but got a sudden job interview and had to cancel. He could’ve came over after the interview but he turned his phone off and forgot? Well I dismissed it because jobs are important and he could’ve just came over today. (Side note this is last day he can come see me as my dad is getting surgery and will be at home with me for the next month) I told him to set an alarm so he can come over early and we can spend the day together before my dad gets off work at 2. Well he slept through the alarm and when he finally did wake up he said he wanted to go do his taxes before he came over. I got upset saying we don’t have a lot of time and taxes aren’t even due until April, he can do them literally tomorrow. He started calling me a child saying I don’t understand responsibility and that you do what you need to do first before you chill with someone. I got upset saying he doesn’t even need to do his taxes today and he’s wasting valuable time and got so frustrated I said fuck it I don’t even want you to come over anymore I’ll see you in a month (since for some reason I’m not allowed to go over his house) he than went on a huge rant calling me a irresponsible child, and brought up my father’s abuse saying I deserved it and I don’t do anything and I don’t understand what it’s like to be an adult. (I’m 20 years old, have a job, take care of all the cleaning and shopping for my house, take care of two dogs and three cats, including feeding and cleaning their litter) I got so furious I told him I never want to see him again and blocked him on every form of social media. Two hours later he starts spam calling me from an unknown number and when I finally answer he yells at me saying I’m acting like a child and he would’ve been over by now. He knows my dads abuse and calling me a irresponsible child are super hot buttons for me, and that I suffer really bad depression and suicidal ideation that are linked to my dad belittling me by calling me a child and than verbally abusing me (used to be physical but that’s another story) I really feel like he shouldn’t have said those things to me and if he actually cared about me he would’ve just came straight over and worried about the taxes tomorrow. Or am I the asshole for getting upset?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
odgBAt2LXH4mbPIxFXbxJGy8KEhG0LQA
|
ajqxtw
|
{
"description": "feeling entitled to a response",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for feeling entitled to a response?
|
So to start off i have a friend ill call him josh but i recently hit josh up i don't ever like to ask people to go out there way for me so this was a first and told him i need a favor, he replyed, so i then went on to tell him if he could give me a ride from my house to work he then didn't respond to that msg for 15 and i was kinda in a rush so i text him again. "Hey are you atleast home so i can get my smock?" (Cause i left my work clothes at his house) He replyed a few seconds after i sent that text. So he just completely ignored my question? thats not what got to me upset, its the fact that hes asked me for favor before 3 times infact if were gonna count and i atleast replyed cause i felt i owed him that much and itd be rude not to. 2 out of 3 times i helped him it just upsets me the fact that the one time i reach out for help i couldn't even get a response. I ended up walking 20 mins to work while i was sick throwing up (thankgod i didn't throw up there or on my way home) in like 5-6 inches of snow. I feel like i was entitled to atleast a response but maybe not, maybe i was overreacting shouldn't have gotten mad cause he genuinely doesn't owe me anything?
So Am i the Asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
3ZSvHtigF9eZuY7uMzluYmP9YPZVXzWo
|
aasdsa
|
{
"description": "mentioning my sisters scar",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for mentioning my sisters scar?
|
This happened just within the hour. My sister was trying on outfits to wear while going out to the bars. She was wearing a crop top that showed her stomach with a furry jacket over it. She has a scar across her stomach from making french fries in an oven while drunk. I jokingly mentioned it and she stormed out crying. Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
tlRAk79Ha3V9l0X64Ql5X4pzoRORWsvw
|
b36nrm
|
{
"description": "wanting to sleep on my wife's side of the bed",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for wanting to sleep on my wife’s side of the bed?
|
I rewrote this post entirely because many things were unclear.
TL;DR My wife and I have a good marriage (4 years). I sleep on the left side of the bed, and my wife sleeps on the right side. I feel like I need variety in my sleeping arrangements to sleep comfortably, and so I have asked to switch sides of the bed every few months. My wife doesn’t want to switch.
Growing up, (8-18 years old) I shared a bunk bed with my brother. We both wanted the bottom bunk because it was better, so we would compromise by swapping off every 6 months. In college, I would frequently change whether I slept at the head or the foot of the bed, and sometimes I would even sleep on the floor. When I moved into an apartment (in college still) I sometimes slept on the communal couches. In the summers, I would sleep on roof of the building (and once on the sidewalk) despite my summer allergies. All of my life pre-marriage I have been changing my sleep arrangements and now it is ingrained into me.
On the other hand, my wife feels like she needs consistency. She feels like she needs some things to be hers, and one of those things is her side of the bed. She feels like switching sides violates that need.
In our first year of marriage I slept on the left side. Then we moved residences and I was able to switch to the right side of the bed. We switched without talking about it - I wanted the right side and my wife didn't care (because we just moved). Then after another year we moved to our current location and I again switched. Both times, I don’t think she even noticed.
Now we've been living in the same residence for 2 years and I'm getting antsy. I've been sleeping on the left side this whole time and I still am. After the first year of living in our newest residence, I started (once every two months) asking if we can switch sides of the bed. In response, she asks to keep her side of the bed. She has tried to compromise by switching for one night, but it's only one night and we only did it twice. She tried to compromise by sleeping in the living room with me, but it was also only once. We have a guest bedroom and we have slept in it 6 times in our 2 years living here, but we can't do it anymore because we have a friend renting out our guest bedroom.
As for some solutions:
\-I just spoke with my wife and she does not want to rearrange the room
\-My wife said that it was "fun" to sleep in the living room, but that we'll never do it again. She doesn't want me to sleep on the floor, on a couch, on an air mattress, or anywhere that isn't the bed. 1. She says it's weird to sleep anywhere other than the bed and 2. She can't sleep well without me
\-I cannot sleep upside down because I have GERD at night, so my bed must be at an incline
What I ideally want is to switch every 6 months, but I'm open to different time frames or ideas
​
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 8,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
w42EkrzDWdoSwdPgLmhaHDAKMlTfPyH0
|
aikd5m
|
{
"description": "hating my \"friend\"",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for hating my "friend"?
|
Okay I have this friend I'm going to call Jess.
Jess and a friend who is basically like a sister to me started dating.
I was kind of scared because last year she had talked crap about us to a friend, but that friend later told us what she done. We talked crap about her aswell and started to ignore her because we didn't want it deal with her.
We started to forgive her, until I started to hate her. My sister like friend began to tell me how her girlfriend Jess started to ignore her, I kept telling her to confront her about it.
"She started the relationship, so she gets to end it" I then talked about it to the friend who told me that Jess talked crap about us.
Apparently she still does talk crap about us, and had started to ignore her girlfriend on purpose because "she doesn't like the way she treats me and another friend". I began stating how childish that is.
Then I was told that her dad hates us, this is because we made her sad. We made her sad because of a conversation we had in a hallway.
"Yeah, I don't really like childish people, and I think the music teacher hates you for what you did last year". Me and her girlfriend being childish people felt extremely hurt.
And the "music teacher hates us" part was because we stopped helping making play decorations. We started to find it boring and I felt like I was holding the group down, so I made up excuses not to go.
Jess also states in the hallway "(Friend who told us she talks crap about us) is fine, he has a reason, but you guys just kind of ditched us".
We then told her how we felt about that situation in the hallway. Her father hates us now. The friend who told us she talked crap about us had apperently been told not to trust us by her because we would ditch him in the end.
I want to confront her, but I can't help but feel guilty in someway.
Am I the Asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
SonTiqQf3uyyHaa1vN66phQnLY7xDQeo
|
af2k8c
|
{
"description": "not endulging a sexual fantasy anymore",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for not endulging a sexual fantasy anymore?
|
On mobile yada yada...
My husband and I have been together basically our whole lives. All our firsts were with each other. He’s super affectionate, I’m not as much so, big difference in how love was shown by our parents.
Near the beginning of our relationship we toyed with the idea of MFM threesomes. We had 2-3 encounters which went well, we would use that as fuel for dirty talk. However we didn’t indulge again.
Fast forward a few years later and he was having a full blown affair, when I found out he left and we separated. A few years after separation, he told me the only way to win him back was to be a hotwife more often as I had become so boring and cold that I pushed him away. I could either continue to watch him from afar with the (affair) girlfriend or try to make him happy and have him come home (we have kids). I made my bed and chose to please him, become a better wife and a better hotwife than his girlfriend. (The girlfriend found out about his fetish and ran with it.)
Now a few years later, I’ve indulged his fetish. I feel like it’s his now since it’s become boring for me and it’s so hard finding guys that make the cut. Sex with him and I is fucking awesome but he’ll only be in the mood if dirty talk during the act is about me hotwifing.
So on to the judgment:
Am I the asshole for breaking my promise of indulging his kink?
Am I the asshole for thinking that a marriage and kids is more important than a kink?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
DerkB8LioMB2JsP9XclLg80j2ZHI0j1l
|
b43rir
|
{
"description": "lying to my mother because I didn't think she'd react well to the truth",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for lying to my mother because I didn't think she'd react well to the truth?
|
I (18M) have known I was gay since I was ~11 or 12 years old, and I kinda realised I'd never fancied a girl or woman in my life. I had the expected struggle with coming to grips with it but it honestly wasn't that difficult for me to come to terms with myself.
However. For all of my life it's been just my mum and I at home, as I'm an only child and my dad passed away before I was born. Mum has never been overtly homophobic, per se. Like, she isn't the type of person to bang on about how gay is disgusting and homos are gonna burn in hell and it's all sick and perverse etc. But she *is* the type of person who makes comments about how she "doesn't see the point" of Pride and claims she doesn't get why marriage equality is "such a big deal". Also, when my cousin came out as lesbian and started bringing her girlfriend to family events, Mum semi-frequently complained about her "shoving her sexuality down everyone's throats" and how she "doesn't mind, just doesn't see why [COUSIN] is so 'in your face' about it". (To clarify, cousin is very much *not* into PDAs so it's not like she and her girlfriend are constantly making out in public or w/e, they just hang out, dance together, etc.) All this to say, I don't believe my mother actively hates gay people or wishes any kind of harm or ill will upon any of us, but she's made it clear in the past she doesn't particularly *like* gay people very much either.
Because of this, I've kept my sexuality from her. I convinced myself that coming out while under her roof could get real awkward for me. I didn't think she'd be angry but I guessed she'd be uncomfortable, a la how she feels about my cousin, and I couldn't take that level of awkwardness in my own living situation. I'm going to uni in September and will be moving ~1.5hr drive from my hometown for it. My plan was to come out after I moved out so that, even if there was some discomfort there, at least I wouldn't be around it constantly. Suffice to say, this didn't happen.
Basically, I lent her my laptop to send some emails for work while hers was broken and I guess I left my Facebook open and she say some messages between me and this boy I've been sort of seeing. She confronted me about it and I told her because what's the sense in denying it? She *flipped* - not because I'm gay, but because I'd been lying to her all this time (I have explicitly told her I'm straight and brought girls home in the past). I tried to explain that I wasn't comfortable coming out yet, she took offence and kicked me out. I'm currently staying with my grandparents and I don't know if I'm ever gonna go back to my mum's.
I feel kinda shitty. Not because I'm gay, obviously I know I'm NTA for that. But maybe mum's right, maybe lying to her was a sucky thing to do. Like I could've dodged questions about sexuality/not brought girls home - more so avoided the truth than outright lying. I love my mum and I don't want to lose her over this. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
fi85iPToBRLjaAUTkCbHU7415fjd7GVW
|
ay54j4
|
{
"description": "burning bridges between family friends",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA I burnt bridges between family friends
|
Ok so I didnt know this subreddit existed until today and I made this account just for this story.
This is pretty long so I'll put a tldr at the bottom.
So my mom has had this friend she met in church for as long as I can remember. We'll call her Karen for the sake of the meme.
My mom and Karen used to be best of friends as I was growing up, so naturally my sister and i would play with her kids. Karen had 2 daughters, OS & LS (older sister & little sister.)
Now the daughters could not be any more different. OS is your stereotype blond airhead, while LS is more quiet and reserved.
Now the sisters really didnt like spending time together so OS would come bother me while our sisters played.
All of this is important to understanding the situation.
So as I was growing up naturally me and OS got to be close friends, I even had a massive crush on her several years ago (which will forever be one of my most hated memories.)
Due to this I would almost instantly take her side on pretty much anything. Karen liked to brag to other people in the church about how LS was such a troubled child when in reality she was just different. Looking back it's quite sad she had to grow up like that.
Anyway, as I got older things I hadn't noticed before began to appear about Karen and OS.
Karen had a tendency to cause drama for no particular reason. Once my sister told OS that her shirt didnt match her shoes and Karen got PISSED. She started to yell at my mom on the phone about this all the time. They didnt talk at all for nearly a month.
I have two instances of when Karen would send me angry texts about something I did that pissed her off. Keep in mind I was a child when those happened.
As for OS, as we grew up I noticed something about her that I hadn't before. Ever conversation we had would always be about her, and nothing but her. Even if I tried to take the conversation another way she would just wait for me to finish my sentence then drive it back to her.
As of late I've been avoiding them both. One of the instances with Karen I mentioned before is actually about me avoiding them.
I'm sure the whole situation isnt done, not until I move away anyway.
If you've gotten this far, thanks for reading and please tell me, am I the asshole? I've been wondering if my decision is right or not.
TLDR; Childhood friends, Karen and her daughter became toxic and undesirable to be around so I cut off contact with them.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
no8cO2u0O3lA8FOfNAP1YvUtWMRjqBZi
|
ank5c0
|
{
"description": "not wanting to go home for my Grandpa's burial because of work",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not wanting to go home for my Grandpa's burial because of work
|
I started work at a Big 4 public accounting (biggest in our city) firm 3 weeks ago as a Year 1 tax staff, in a relatively small (but still busy) office in the Midwest. I also just moved here in late Dec to be with my bf, and am also studying for the CPA exam, with BEC scheduled for March 2nd. It's my first full-time job, and I'm getting situated to the long hours and work lifestyle of public accounting.
The hours haven't been crazy yet, but as expected my schedule is packed for all of March - about 60 hrs/week, which probably translates to 70-ish hours actually spent working, since I'm new (so that's Monday-Saturday, with some Sundays). My work won't die down until early April when returns are due, and I've let my family and bf know months in advance that I will most likely be too busy to do much more than work and sleep.
My dad and I have a pretty good relationship; he called me earlier today, to let me know that he's expecting to bring my grandpa's ashes back from China in early March, and asked me to fly down in mid-March for the burial of his ashes. Grandpa had passed away in April last year, and my dad has wanted to bring him back for a proper burial since then so I know this weighs heavily on him.
My dad really values family, and loves me and my siblings like crazy. He tried to encourage me by saying my brother and sister already have plans to fly in, but my brother is in law school and sister works for a Silicon Valley company, so they both have much more flexibility than I do.
I pretty much told him flat-out that it's really unlikely I'll be able to take a few days off (fly in Friday, leave and go back on Saturday) to come down for his burial. He asked me to bring it up with my seniors but I am reluctant to do so - it's my first busy season, and it's widely understood you shouldn't take time off during busy hours.
AITA for not wanting to go back home for my grandpa's burial?
​
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
jTb2ub7VPvvOz86FTIQ1cbpkDThy3hkB
|
aenknp
|
{
"description": "changing my mind about giving my food to a homeless man",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for changing my mind about giving my food to a homeless man?
|
I got dinner with a friend last night, and we stopped by a convenience store after to pick up a few things. I had leftover chicken tenders from dinner in a container.
As we were entering the store, a homeless man was sitting by the doors saying, “Could you spare some cash for food? I’m starving!”
On the way out, my friend suggested that I give the man my leftover chicken tenders, which I thought would be a good idea. I approached him and said “I have these chicken tenders for you if you’d like them.” I extended them to him and as he took them, and as he was taking them said, “I want lasagna, can you give me ten bucks so I can go buy a lasagna?”
I responded and said “all I have are these, you can have them if you’d like.” He put them next to him and said “Can’t you just give me money for a lasagna?”
So I picked the box of tenders back up and said “sorry, I’m not going to give you money for a lasagna” and began walking away.
My friend seemed to think that I was a huge asshole for doing so, but I didn’t want to waste my leftovers on someone who clearly didn’t seem to want them. He had two other boxes of leftovers open beside him, one with half of a hamburger, and one with an entire salad, so clearly he couldn’t have been too starving.
AITA for taking my food back?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
8QBDm5vRtvUbOlZgRQhlIhxWazmettpf
|
b3sel9
|
{
"description": "refusing to pay my expected share of utilities this month",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
WIBTA if I refused to pay my expected share of utilities this month?
|
So I got a text from my live-in landlord (who is also a good friend) that our smud bill is $268 right now (up from approx $120), most likely because of the usage of the heaters. She said that she is nixing heater usage, including personal heaters and heated blankets. I don't use heating equipment; if I get cold I wrap myself up in a blanket. I do have a personal heater that my landlord usually uses in her room and sometimes sets up in my room when we're hanging out.
We have another roommate, Reese, who I know uses the heater and forgets to turn it off. I have made mention of times when I come home and no one else is home, and the heater is still on. Even texting her right now, she's confirming that she comes home and it's on because "he forgot to turn it off"
I really feel like I'm being taken advantage of if I'm expected to foot this bill. Most of the time, I'm not even home when it's on, so I'm not getting the benefits of the heat regardless of my decision. So I really feel like telling my landlord that this spike is between her and Reese. WIBTA?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
VfD0cnMkJOkSnm8zyOkzUIsoNz8H91hZ
|
b4b8hu
|
{
"description": "tipping my dad off about his sister being on her death bed, even though it was her possible dying wish that he didn't know about it",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 11
}
|
AITA for tipping my dad off about his sister being on her death bed, even though it was her possible dying wish that he didn't know about it?
|
My aunt (dad's sister) and my dad have a complicated relationship. They have been close their entire lives, and are only a couple of years apart in age (mid 70s each). My dad's on the spectrum and he often pisses people off like it's his job.
His relationship with his sister has degraded severely over the last couple of years to the point to where they're not talking any more. I find this to be a pity, but up until now they've both been in very good health, so I thought they'd eventually reconcile after some time apart. My aunt takes slights very seriously and when she decides to be furious with someone it's almost like they're dead to her. My aunt is extremely generous and kind as long as the people in her life actively appreciate the impact that she's made in theirs.
Yesterday I received a message from my mom (divorced from my dad) that my aunt has meningitis and is in the hospital. Also, my cousin has had to drop everything and flew a couple of states over to stay with her in the hospital. I was told explicitly not to tell my father, in all caps. I called my cousin this morning and talked to her about the severity of the situation, my aunt is falling in and out of consciousness and can't deal with a lot of stimulation at the moment, so no one can talk with her except my cousin and my Aunt's BF. When going through everything my aunt said things like, "don't tell "my dad", don't even tell him if I'm dead". My cousin tried to talk her down from that, but she was having none of that. She's basically staking this out as a final wish kind of demand and the family is taking the request with the utmost seriousness.
I told my cousin that it would be extraordinarily sad if my dad was never given the option to reconcile with his little sister while she was dying. She cried, I cried, and then I told her I wouldn't tell him out of respect for my aunt.
So I spent the day struggling deeply with this knowledge. Eventually, after thinking through what kind of incredible betrayal of my father it would be for everyone else in the family to know about this except for him, and what kind of weight it would be for him to bare if she was to pass away without him even trying to reconnect, I called him. I asked him if there was anything big or new with him, and he replied like everything was great. Then told him that there may be something really big going on, I told him I couldn't give him specifics as to the who or what, but he's smart so he got enough information from me to follow a bread crumb trail that I know exists. I've already had confirmation that he's digging into it.
Even if she won't take his call or my cousin won't let any notification get through to her, my dad at least deserves the opportunity to make up for past mistakes, and at the very least know in his heart his last action towards her wasn't tinted with acrimony. I believe my aunt deserves the same.
So reddit, am I the asshole for basically defying my Aunt's dying wish?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 11,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 11
}
|
WRONG
|
46BnxpjshPmGj1gn4rhCdGSKL0JrzRnG
|
ba1nrd
|
{
"description": "\"tattling\" to the husband",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for "tattling" to the husband?
|
A friend of mine in another state has been going through a rough time with both his employment status and his health. He is married, with a couple of kids and another kid from a previous relationship. He has never been one to really accept charity and wouldn't really ask for help, and I wanted to help out a little.
Now, his wife happens to be a very talented artist and her and I share a love for a certain video game franchise, I wanted to get a new tattoo and I commissioned her to draw something for me that was themed around this game. I paid everything up front, in two payments, along with a 25% tip on top of it because while definitely want what I'm paying for this whole thing to was help them out in a way that didnt make him feel like he was taking charity. This agreement and the payment was made back in January, and I realized that she had kids to take care of etc. so I asked if could get it on Apr. 1st which gave her about 2 months to finish.
Cut to Apr. 1st. She has been completely unresponsive to my attempts contact her for about two weeks by now. Standard texts like "Hey, how are things coming?" and stuff like that have been totally ignored. Finally on the 3rd, knowing that due to the way the deal went down I wouldn't have anyway to get that money back, I contacted my friend (the husband) to see what the hell was going on. Up until this point he had no idea that any of this was going on or that I had given her money or anything. He apparently spoke with her, I'm not sure how that went down or anything, and she did contact me shortly afterwards with an apology but I still haven't gotten the piece.
AITA for bringing husband into it when it was a deal between her and I? I feel like I played dirty by siccing him on her and possibly causing issues in his marriage.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
WNOV1Bg3u7zT3n5dMl7qVCmyv0U6DonO
|
ayfcom
|
{
"description": "considering breaking up with my gf for lack of intimacy",
"pronormative_score": 20,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for considering breaking up with my GF for lack of intimacy?
|
For starters. I think I am the asshole here.
I [27M] and GF [25F] have been dating for about 8 months now. Things have been great. She is without a doubt probably the coolest and most amazing person I have met. Our personal and social chemistry is off the charts. Ive never gotten along with someone of the opposite sex more.
It has been one of the best relationships I have ever had. Until just recently...she confessed that she did not really enjoy sex. That it actually hurts her and is uncomfortable for her and that she gets anxiety if I attempt to initiate or partake in any sort of sexual activities with her.
I asked how long this has been going on (thinking something might be medically wrong) as we've had sex quite a bit including numerous times in an evening, etc.
Which is when she said she has always kinda felt this way about it but just wanted to impress me and what not.
We have not had sex in about 5 weeks now and even though I do love and care about her greatly. I do not know if I am able to carry on or continue a relationship with a dead bedroom. So much so that I have been playing with the thought of asking if we can break things off and that we might be better off as just friends.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 12,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 20,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
3xNn2n5inQ6hBdrXkdAHXF8dvKcsXtAK
|
awucpc
|
{
"description": "being upset at my boyfriend for lamenting his old relationship with a woman who broke up with him cause her family didn't approve of his ethnicity? I feel for him cause he's had lots of hardships growing up Black. he wasn't dark enough to be black and wasn't white enough for her",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being upset at my boyfriend for lamenting his old relationship with a woman who broke up with him cause her family didn’t approve of his ethnicity? I feel for him cause he’s had lots of hardships growing up Black. He wasn’t dark enough to be black and wasn’t white enough for her.
|
He said that breakup was one of the most significant things in his life.
Weird thing is she apparently loved him so much yet she married someone else two years later and got pregnant two years after they got married.
He says they’re still friends though.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
IAzv1Vj5Xn6EtL3k5ldz8WDuh6H0M94Z
|
axu5tm
|
{
"description": "wanting my students picked up when school lets out",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for wanting my students picked up when school lets out?
|
I teach at an elementary school in a small town. Our day is over at 3:00, and I’m supposed to let students out of my room at 2:55. Staff leave at 3:00. I have 2 students who used to be picked up by their bus at 3:30. Our school secretary, and director would need to stay until the kids would get picked up.
One day in December, my director made a deal with this bus driver, that instead of coming late, that he could come pick these students 10 minutes early, at 2:45. Since January, I’ve had an alarm set on my phone every day for 2:40, and every week or so, one of these kids would come tell me that if I didn’t let them out earlier, their bus driver would leave them, and come back for them at 3:30 instead. That would upset me to no end: why would he punish these kids when they walked out of my room every day 15 minutes earlier than the rest of the kids? why would I let them out even earlier?
Yesterday, I was giving an assessment at the end of the day. At 2:30, the afternoon bus duty teacher came into my room, and told me that these kids’ bus driver was asking for them, and that he would leave them behind if they didn’t come out now. I was shocked, and felt this was the last straw, so I asked this teacher to watch my class so I could talk to the bus driver. I ran outside and told the bus driver that I wasn’t letting those kids out until 2:40. He argued with me a bit, and I repeated myself again. My volume was raised, so I could hear myself speak (I’m completely deaf on my right side), but also because he was arguing with me, saying he needed the kids.
I went back to my classroom and when it was 2:40, I let them go: no bus. I later asked the teacher on duty when the driver left, and she said he left at 2:38.
I asked another driver for his boss’s phone number. I told the boss the story, explained that this bus driver demanded kids at 2:30, and the boss asked what time school let out. I said this bus driver normally wanted them at 2:45, but that the school let out at 2:55. Boss said, the bus driver should be getting there at 2:55, and said he’d take care of it.
Today the bus driver drives up at 3:30. When we talk, he said he left early because of the way I spoke to him. I said I was only telling him that I wouldn’t let them out until 2:40, and explained that I was profoundly deaf in one ear, and he waved it off. I said his boss told me he’d arrive at 2:55. He said his boss told him to get there at 2:55, and yet, there at 3:30. I continued to question why these kids were being picked up early or late and not at 2:55, and he just kept saying he could get at school at 2:30 or 3:30. He also mentioned that I wasn’t going through the right channels by talking to him directly. Lost for words, I walked away telling him that even if he blamed me for the way I spoke to him, that leaving those kids behind because of it was wrong.
AITA for wanting my students picked up when school lets out?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
kdwn791UbMl7l0Us1eNzGPZrRlLJ0Mjm
|
b2z1gt
|
{
"description": "not liking my older brother",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA If I don’t like my older brother?
|
I really just don’t like him very much. He’s just... insufferable. He’s only fun when he’s drunk (even then, debatable. He’s an alcoholic but won’t admit it.), and he gets extremely angry every time something doesn’t go his way. It’s been that way for pretty much my entire life. He’s not violent or anything, but it’s kind of annoying hearing him yell because he doesn’t understand technology when he thinks he does or whenever he loses a simple game. He literally threw away an entire Uno game because he thought we (family) were breaking the rules. (He looked it up, and we were by accident (turns out that if you have an Uno, but nobody calls it out until it’s too late, nothing is supposed to happen.), but that was AFTER he already ruined the game.)
Anyway, my last real straw with him was when he messed with this LEGO minifigure frame I had in the hallway of my mom’s house. He completely changed everything about it, and actually managed to lose pieces of it after messing with it. I asked him repeatedly to stop, but he just wouldn’t. It’s petty, but combined with my feelings for him already, I flew into a rage and just decided to not talk to him at all, to the extent of blocking him on my contacts.
He’s moved out, with a good-paying job and everything, but I still think he’s an insufferable prick. I feel like maybe I’ve taken it too far, but I just... don’t like him. I’m definitely biased as I write this, but still.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
eflFViMchRFgmurJJieB9k96eIOYhNCU
|
ao9pyk
|
{
"description": "pointing out how differently my mum treats my siblings now she has a partner",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for pointing out how differently my mum treats my siblings now she has a partner?
|
Little backstory I’m 18, my parents broke up around three/ four years ago. It wasn’t actually that bad because they both got much better away from each other, both were happier.
During this time me and my mum were close, (perhaps too close) she would tell me everything going on with her life, she even told me about dates she had been on as I was the only one who noticed out of my siblings that she was dating people.
I was close with my dad, but not as close as I wasn’t living with him.
I wasn’t as close as I could have been as my mum would tell me at every opportunity when he hadn’t paid child support and that we were struggling because he wasn’t helping out.
Flash forward to today, both parents have respected partners and are getting married in the summer!
This isn’t a “my parent has a partner that isn’t my actual parent so I don’t like them” type of situation. I love my soon-to-be stepmom, we talk all the time, she feels like a really cool friend who always calls me out on my shit, it also helps that she is only ten years older than me (but that’s not important).
I really liked my stepdad at first, we have the same kind of humour, we both like marvel, that kind of thing.
However, as the years have gone by I hated living with him and my mother, all my siblings were given chores in the house and the parents would come home from work and sit on the sofa and chat. They would ask each other about their day and hang off each others every word. It’s not hard to see that they are deeply in love.
The only attention we seem to get from them are about chores. I’m not saying we shouldn’t do chores, far from it but it’s difficult coming home from school and then having to clean an entire room of the house.
If it’s the kitchen it involves doing the dishwasher (emptying and filling) sweeping and mopping the floor, washing any dishes that can’t be put in the dishwasher, doing the cup of tea, clearing and washing the sides down and so on.
It doesn’t seem like much but when there’s six people living in the house mess adds up.
When they get home the parents don’t seem to do anything, they sit on the sofa and talk about their day, showing funny stuff they find online, the only time they talk to us that isn’t about chores is around the dining table.
It isn’t normal talk that is relaxed and random it’s 3 questions that go around in a circle that everyone must answer.
1.How are you feeling?
2.How was your day?
3. What are you looking forward to tomorrow?
After these questions are done they don’t talk much but to each other. I can’t stand these questions because they feel so unnatural, it’s not normal to have a set of questions to ask at mealtimes is it?
They never talk to us one on one to see how we’re doing, my mum used to tell me everything and how I know nothing because my step dad is now the person she tells everything to. (Not that I should know EVERYTHING it’s just hard going from talking about everything to now not even talking)
On the weekend when the step kids go to their mums and we go to our dads they have what they call “mum and [stepdadsname] day of fun” where they go out and have a meal and have a walk and spend money on each other.
I would have no problem for this except they never take us anywhere that requires a lick of money and are always looking for free stuff to do. (I understand the argument that you don’t need money to have a good time) They make up the excuse that they don’t have any money as everything is going towards the wedding yet new things constantly arrive in the post each week and they are going out every week without fail.
A couple of weeks ago me and my mum had a falling out as I expressed some of the feelings I had.
She told me that I was calling her a bad parent
I said no but you act as if you love him more than us, you hang off his every word, you can’t get enough of each other. We see how you treat him and then compare that to how you treat us. There’s nothing.
She kept telling me she wasn’t going to change her parenting style for me so I could feel more comfortable in her home.
I resorted by asking her when was the last time she told me she was proud of me.
She said she says it on Facebook all the time.
I said not on Facebook for the world to see, when was the last time you said it to my face.
She didn’t say anything.
Whenever I go to my mum about these things (problems which I feel I should be able bring to my mum) She always gets angry and defensive and tells my step dad.
It’s always a text from him telling me that I’ve made my mum cry and that I should just apologise to make her feel better even if I don’t mean it. He tells me she thinks I don’t love her and that I’m trying to get my siblings to gang up on them when I tell her they feel the same. He tells me I’m childish and I need to be mature to apologise to her but I feel like I shouldn’t apologise for feeling upset and telling them about this.
I would break down constantly because I realised how much my mum would constantly show affection to my stepdad and not anyone else, she has changed and she can’t see that.
Anyway, I probably did not make a bit of sense.
Am I just an asshole brat who is making everything a bigger deal than needs be or is there justification in telling her how I feel?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
vtoOEQKSRstLbCarHgWkIgkA7aH3lEuX
|
ab86wb
|
{
"description": "sleeping with unsatisfied wives and girlfriends",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 14
}
|
AITA for sleeping with unsatisfied wives and girlfriends?
|
First off I wanna say that this is a throwaway account so that I dont get real hate on my regular account on reddit. Anonymity is the great thing about reddit, but even then there is a limit to what people believe is socially acceptable. Also, I understand that alot of people may not believe this as a true post, but rest assured, it is or at least treat it as such when you make your judgements.
Ok so I have been dating and having sex for years now as I am in my mid 30s, but only recently I have become very aware of reading the situation when a woman is either calling out for help from her relationship or unsatisfied. Usually they are people who have been together for a long time or got married at a young age, etc. Because I am semi attractive (a 5-6 by my own standards, although I may be harsher on myself than others are) and I have learned the things that women like to hear and how to make them have a good time, I find it easy to bed them. I don't hit em and quit em, I have sometimes a drawn out affair or a remain friends with benefits.
So personally, I know I am an asshole, but something about having sex with another man's girl is very hot and gives me an ego boost. That being the case, I do not feel bad about doing it and I do not believe I am the only asshole here for several reasons.
1) It is the girl's responsibility to keep her vows true to her bf/husband. I did not make any vow to be faithful for them, nor do I believe in the sanctity of someone's marriage if both partners are not interested anymore.
2) These women have already checked out of the relationship and do not love their SOs anymore. The old adage is true, men cheat for sex and women cheat for "love" although I hesitate to use love as I do not believe in it and I feel this is a time of misandrist statement. Women cheat for partner change, if it wasn't me, they would be fucking someone else and leaving.
3) Most of these guys are either neglectful, cheating themselves, or not treating their women with the love and respect they deserve. If they were, I would not be able to fuck their women.
So I know I am the asshole, but am I the only asshole? Please do not downvote the post because you hate my actions. I will add a comment that you can obliterate with downvotes.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 11,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 14
}
|
WRONG
|
ekmehFNWHQtcOixBM6HV0y70TklwWBkY
|
b2vg25
|
{
"description": "cutting my Dad's wife out of our lives now that my husband and I have a child",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for cutting my Dad's wife out of our lives now that my husband and I have a child?
|
Context: My Dad has been with his wife for about 22 years. She and I have not gotten along for probably the last 20 years (I am a 30F).
My husband (32M) and I have been together for 11 years. He is amazing and supportive and really believes I can have a relationship with my Dad sans his wife.
Things are always up and down with she and I but usually down. Like clockwork, at least once a year for the last 10+ years, there is a fight between the two of us, usually right before a family event or holiday when my Dad has asked that we 'work it out'. It causes me so much anxiety and makes me physically sick to my stomach when things start to go south. The thing is, my Dad (65M) A) doesn't want to get involved and B) isn't 'allowed' to know what his wife (60F) and I talk about. If I tell him then I'm 'tattling' on her.
My husband and I had a beautiful daughter last year and I really don't want her to go through what I've gone through with this toxic relationship. After yet another blow up at Christmas I asked if my Dad's wife would go to therapy with me. I've suggested it to my Dad in the past but he said she wouldn't go. Surprise, surprise she said no. I decided that enough was enough and that if my Dad was unwilling, if she was unwilling then I would be unwilling to work on it anymore.
Needless to say my Dad was upset. I should also add that my brother(33M), who my Dad's wife likes and gets along with, also decided he didn't want to spend time with her anymore either. My Dad said he understood my decision and would respect it and in time he was 'sure' we'd figure things out. Now I was probably a little blunt but it has been 20 years and I shot that down really quickly. What we're doing isn't fixing anything and this fighting is so so toxic. If she's not willing to talk to a professional (she also prides herself as being a self help type of person) then I don't want her in my life.
Well she accepted that a bit more wholeheartedly than I expected but whatever (said it's what she wanted all along and didn't understand why I wanted a relationship with her in the first place). She did however say that she would miss my daughter who was only 9 months at the time and asked if she could still be in her life as her "Bonus Grandma". I said no. That she did not take so well and responded with "well this is why I kept my boys (now 31 and 34) away from you all this time.... One I only see at family holidays and the other lives half way across the world ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Anywho, we're coming up to my daughter's first birthday and I just know my Dad is going to bring it up and how his wife feels 'left out' (he's used that excuse before) AITA for not wanting this toxic relationship in my life and to protect my daughter from it as well?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 14,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 15,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
Fmohvsl5esOBD04rDJLZkV9KuhW1jbnO
|
a5l7lx
|
{
"description": "informing the employer of two guys who started a fight at a pub at their work",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for informing the employer of two guys who started a fight at a pub at their work?
|
tldr: Two guys started a brawl at my local pub and really violently attacked my boyfriend just for trying to break it up while wearing their company’s logo and at the marina where they work. WIBTA if I told their employer about it?
Here’s the story: Was at the pub last night with my boyfriend and a friend of a friend. It’s a pretty casual place, the local pub near a marina, we were playing that phone head game with our servers and having a few drinks. We were sitting at the bar and two guys who work for a company at the marina, who are known for being notorious assholes, were sitting at a table sorta close to us. They were yelling shit and being obnoxious and super rude throughout the whole night. Making fun of us for the game and whatever. It doesn’t really bother me, I don’t care what they think, but I can tell the friend of a friend is getting annoyed.
A little bit later the guys start yelling more shit to the friend of a friend, making fun of what he’s wearing etc. He’s sort of a hippy looking guy; he’s wearing a colourful toque. The final straw I guess was them making fun of said hat, and when they asked where he got it, he said it was his dead grandfather’s toque, at which point they say something along the lines of “good, your grandpa was probably a f*g”
Well the friend of a friend loses his shit at this and stomps over to this guy and drags him to the ground. The other guy leaps up and the three of them are fighting now. The two female servers jump in and are trying to pull them apart, my boyfriend is sort of just watching trying to figure out how to help and decides to reach in to help the girls separate the guys and get them off of each other.
Well, the guy my boyfriend grabbed suddenly thinks he’s trying to get in on the fight and he slams him to the ground, gets on top of him and shoves his fucking fingers in his eyes. I was staying out of it until now, but I got really scared so I leapt up and was trying to pull this guy off my boyfriend (who wasn’t even fighting back) and this guy changes from stabbing him the eyes to wrapping his hands around my boyfriend’s neck and so now I’m like totally freaking out, screaming and yanking on this guy to get him off. At the same time, the other sever gets the other two guys to break apart and I guess they see me and the other server trying to pull him off and so he like leaps on him to get him off and at that point everyone is finally stopped fighting. Me and the other girls are standing in between the guys, trying to keep it that way. The servers yell at the three guys to get out. The friend of a friend who started it goes and stands at the door, says he will leave, he just needs his hat and his phone. I hand them to him, he leaves. The other two guys are now screaming and yelling with the servers about how it’s not their fault and why should they have to leave an the servers are like “just get the fuck out!”
Well, they still don’t leave. My boyfriend is trying to calm the situation, and the guy who fucking attacked him comes over and apologizes. I guess he realizes my boyfriend wasn’t trying to fight him and my boyfriend just says like “it’s fine just like, not sure why you felt it necessary to stab your fingers in my eyes”. He apologized a bunch more times and pays for our bill. We’re offering to leave too but the servers were feeling pretty scared of the two guys so they asked us to stay just as back up until they leave. But the one guy who started the whole thing is just sitting at the table staring down the servers, demanding an apology. And they are just like what the fuck.
Someone in the kitchen called the cops while this was all going on and one of the girls talks to them and then calls the manager, who says he’s on his way in. Finally the two guys leave, and the girls lock up and my boyfriend and I head home.
My boyfriend is fine, has a black eye but isn’t seriously hurt or anything, but I’m just so mad and shocked that someone would resort to something so violent. And not only that, but they were wearing company sweaters at the bar near where they work.
I really, really want to contact the company and tell them what happened, and how they initiated this brawl and responded so atrociously violent. My question is, would that make me the asshole? Should I just leave it alone since no one got seriously hurt? The two guys will most likely be barred from the pub by the manager, so it’s not like we’ll see them again, and my boyfriend seems pretty over it but I’m just still feeling really shook about it.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
2CT8KxhrBjVLYAzgphIQ8PEByjVhG4Nh
|
af0ubm
|
{
"description": "refusing to go to my sisters college graduation",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for refusing to go to my sisters college graduation
|
My younger sister, R, will be graduating from university this May. I am extremely proud of her and would love to help her celebrate. Unfortunately, what she wants is for her graduation party is both her mom’s side and her dad’s side to attend the same party.
Some background: my mom married her dad, A, when I was very young. Mom and A had my little sister, R, shortly after. A was abusive towards our mom, as was his family. The step children (myself and my two older sisters) were tormented by R’s older half brother (A’s first child). R has been shielded by much of what her dad has done, and has a good relationship with him. My mom believes it’s not okay to bad mouth a child’s other parent and has never divulged the complete history to her, thought I know she has heard it from others and her dad has been telling her “his side”. Side note: A adopted me when married to my mom, then “unadopted” me when they divorced so he didn’t have to pay child support on me.
As you can image the relationship between the two families has been strained and all celebrations have been separate. R blames my mom for this, at it is my mom that does want anything to do with A. She recently expressed her desire to bring the families together and have just one graduation party. My mom and I have talked about it, and she really doesn’t want to do this, but is getting guilted into it from my sister. I have let my mom know I won’t be going, but I know it will cause a lot of drama when I tell my sister.
Am I being selfish for holding a grudge for more than a decade and putting it before my sisters accomplishments? If my mom is going am I being an asshole for not?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
W4wWsmp4i3Oz1LlaYEBBDmICy78uAwOr
|
b6i1jq
|
{
"description": "talking to a girl I went on a date with about boxing",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for talking to a girl I went on a date with about boxing?
|
So my friend and I have a running joke about boxing. In our class there is a girl who knew about the joke. I kind of knew her and thought she liked me. So one day over text I asked her to the movies. She said yes and we went a week or two later. The date went good ( I think), but after it was over she said she only wanted to be friends. I didn’t like it that she just wanted to be friends, but respected her decision and didn’t say anything about it. Then, over the next few days she stops talking to me. I realize that she didn’t really want to be friends anymore, and sent an emoji of a guy boxing as a joke. That was on a Friday. The next school day I got called into the VP’s office. The called my parents and they were mad and took away my phone for a while. So, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
WYmaxhTirzuYInjzeoIZ9ptVxX6g3BLf
|
amo4ar
|
{
"description": "not agreeing to pay for groceries for 1 out of 2 months when I've not been home for a month and a half",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not agreeing to pay for groceries for 1 out of 2 months when I've not been home for a month and a half?
|
I live in a 3 BHK apartment that I share with 5 other guys, and we manage our expenses by an app called Splitwise.
I had to go on a deputation to another city for a project work for 17 days, and I left on the 6th of Jan. We had just ordered January's grocery stock online on the 3rd. Since initially I was going only for 17 days, I didn't say anything and was going to pay for everything. The stay later got extended to 24 days, and towards the end of the 20th day, it again got extended to 45 days (so I'm returning on the night of 19th of Feb).
Meanwhile, my flatmates had been adding me in all the monthly expenses (both for January and recently ordered new stock for February) - groceries, veggies, gas cylinders, eveything; and since I am not there, they've been consuming everything. I was already going to pay for the essentials, namely rent, cook, cleaning, wifi, electricity etc, but when I said I wouldn't pay for this month's groceries because I simply am not using them, out of nowhere they started behaving really rudely, and told me not to enter the kitchen when I return, or even touch any of the stuff, and that they'd 'see me if they ever caught me using any of it'. They said a lot of other mean hurtful stuff that made me decide to leave the apartment.
Am I the asshole for denying to pay for one month out of two when I'll be home only for 15 out of 59 days? And also when I'm agreeing to pay for one month anyway. Should I leave the place, or try to make it work?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
JlyqNugj1I46drYdcufhU1MYLi2oWo3T
|
aryk8v
|
{
"description": "thinking my roommate's GF needs to pay rent or something",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for thinking my roommate's GF needs to pay rent or something.
|
Hey everyone, I'm a first time poster. Came across this thanks to vids on YouTube. A little backstory. We are 4 people renting and living in a 4 bedroom house. We had a set of rules that were agreed on when we move in together. But the ones discussed here are the " guests" rule. We agreed that guests were allowed one but for overnight stays, everyone must agree to it and can only be on weekends unless it's an emergency. ( We are fairly young and all of us have had some experience with shitty people).
Everything is ok untill one of my roommates started bringing his girlfriend over on the weekends. We didn't mind at first, but she's here from Saturday to Monday and then back again on Wed.
She always ends up doing her laundry and doing alot of cooking, which I don't mind since is a domestic thing once in a while. But every, fucking, weekend. And then when she's over, the " volume or loud noise" rule goes out the window. Which if it's a weekend, I don't mind but on a Sunday when we all need to be up and out by 5:30, is a bit annoying. It's been 2 years and I feel she should be contributing since she's here 4 days a week. She doesn't really help with cleaning or even just helping take out the trash ( trash days are Mondays). I just feel like the one time in the week I do get to relax, is the time of the week I need to work around another person. It's not fair that she is here every weekend.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
aJcz7xk8CFpUfbq2rEK3d33AjUTdnQEo
|
avv0wb
|
{
"description": "wanting my fiance's daughter to live somewhere else",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 10
}
|
AITA for wanting my (32F) fiance's (40M) daughter (19F) to live somewhere else?
|
warning: long wall of text coming
My fiance has a daughter from a previous relationship, let's call her E. They were not been very 'close' because she lived with her mom in another state. When E was 14, her mother relinquished her parental rights but E didnt want to move here, so she moved with her grandmother (my MIL). Two years ago, E finished high school and she decided to move in with us so she could go to college here in the city.
Six months living here, fiance and E started constant fights about teenage behaviour: rude, inconsiderate, disrespectful. I understand it's normal but the bad attitude has been escalating. I never try to act like her mom because I'm not but I constantly try to give her emotional support though she rarely accepts my help. The rules here are very clear and we have spoken with her a million times about unacceptable behaviour and she had been warned that the constant escalating 'will result in her not being welcome here anymore'.
This happened last week:
Friday, fiance called E at 11:30 pm because she knows she needs to ask for permission before going out with friends, especially if she will be out until late or staying over at a friend's house. He sent her a message asking her whereabouts and so. She just said 'We'll talk tomorrow' then stopped responding. This was not the first time but other times she would apologize and recognize she did wrong. When she came back saturday morning fiance started saying that what she did was wrong but she started to blame everything on us (?). That day she continously disrespected both me and my fiance with plain rude remarks.
Sunday: discussion regarding an important document she lost escalated quickly to her telling fiance to 'fuck off' and screaming, to which he (wrongly) reacted screaming louder and throwing her out of the house (she is not a minor). I calmly asked her to leave because fiance was (wrongly) acting crazy and told her to "stay with her boyfriend, where she had been staying when she didnt come home" and she left. My intention was making her stop a growing conflict, a crazy situation.
I was aware she was not 'staying in the street'. She did go to her bf's house but it seems wednesday she drove 2 hours to nearest relative's house at midnight, next day she called demanding child support. Saturday they made up when she asked to come back home.
Fiance and I spoke and I told him I was worried about this toxic environment and the fact that their discussions were dragging me into constant anxiety. I told him that he was the main asshole, but that's another story.
E is back home, she apologized to her dad (and he apologized too) but I have not spoken to her because I work funny hours so I haven't seen her. We seriously discussed asking her to live somewhere else, give her child support so she can pay for a room to stay near her university
AITA for feeling relieved if this happens?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 8,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 10
}
|
WRONG
|
GEQFmkGFlst1mYgNbnqc68Jm52p2oKtG
|
a4pw3n
|
{
"description": "not wanting to be around my mom",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For not wanting to be around my mom?
|
My mom is the opposite of what I’m accustomed in my dad’s side of the family. She’s super out of place everywhere. She’s loud, insensitive and rude at times. Whenever I am with her she never listens to anything I’ve got to say, she doesn’t ask about anything I’ve got going in life— she doesn’t care. Now I know she loves me, and my brother, but she constantly puts herself over us when it comes to everyday life.
Basically if my mom was Michael Scott from the office, would I be an asshole for not wanting to be around her as much as I would if I lived with her?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
osb2CAN84U2B1bWFvkgBzjhGN44zAcTN
|
acjr59
|
{
"description": "wanting my wife to get a job",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for wanting my wife to get a job
|
​
​
Seeing the post [https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/abv65u/aita\_for\_telling\_my\_wife\_that\_whenif\_she\_quits/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/abv65u/aita_for_telling_my_wife_that_whenif_she_quits/) reminded me that my wife wanted to be a SAHP because of day care costs.
​
I work full time and have been the main source of income for my household for most of our twenty five year marriage. My wife worked for the first seven years of our marriage, and when our oldest was four, she quit her job to be a SAHP. She said it was because after paying for daycare, that she felt she was making too little money to continue working. This implied to me after our kids were older (and not in need of daycare), that she would be returning to work.
​
I do most of the home upkeep myself and also fold laundry, wash dishes, some of the cooking. I do the yardwork myself after repeated hassles with our sons about cutting the yard or raking leaves that I do these chores myself. My wife feels like I should be paying our sons to cut the yard.
​
When our oldest was a senior in high school, my wife said that she would be finding a job. I expressed my concerns about money, wanting to be able to continue saving for retirement, to have money for going on a vacation, to have money to have the house remodeled. We have a nice house, two older cars, are able to go out to dinner when we want, but do not go on expensive vacations or otherwise indulge ourselves. It would be very helpful to have the additional income
​
Three years later, my wife has not found a job. She finally has told me that she does not want to work, and that since I make so much money, that she does not need to work. During the last two years, we have spent over $20,000 on our oldest's college; we have stopped saving. Our middle child is graduating from high school this spring, our youngest is also in high school.
​
My wife says that she has to stay home to take care of the kids. My day consists of leaving for work around 7am and returning around 6:30. Some nights I come home to dirty dishes and leftovers, some nights I come home to my wife saying she does not know what to have for dinner. As far as I can tell, my wife does very little during the day, sometimes she makes dinner.
​
My wife feels like I am being too hard on our oldest, I have told him that he needs to look for a summer job. Last summer, he found a job only after he had been home for seven weeks. And the job was only part time, so he did not earn that much. My wife says that our oldest has to deal with the consequences of not working, and all I can think is about spending $10,000 on a really nice vacation or buying a used Miata instead of paying his tuition next year.
​
Am I an asshole for wanting my wife to work?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
rsHJpQc9Elb08ZaKG1K9EaOYo3E8iY5c
|
avf2g6
|
{
"description": "not letting my gf explore her bisexuality",
"pronormative_score": 50,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA if I don’t let my gf explore her bisexuality?
|
Gf and I have been together for almost a year. Before and during our dating she never mentioned being attracted to women.
Last week she told me that she thought maybe she was bisexual and wanted to try out a threesome with another girl. I’m not into the idea at all and told her I really wasn’t comfortable with it. It turned into a fight. She told me it’s every man’s fantasy and really didn’t get why I was uncomfortable. It’s not my fantasy.
Last night she brought it up again. Now she wants to have a free pass. Where she can have sex with a girl without me even being involved. She said I could have a free pass too, but only with guys to “be fair”. This is a bullshit free pass. I’m not attracted to men at all. I told her no and it got tense.
I can understand her wanting to try and see if it’s for her, but it’s just not a fair situation to me. She basically just wants to cheat on me and for it to be ok. It would be fair if my free pass was with a girl. And as ugly as that situation feels I might agree to that.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 50,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 50,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
CPHIkpqDZw2LvBlrcHHjXbZLqyYFy16X
|
avtwp1
|
{
"description": "asking for payment of my lighting design at school",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for asking for payment of my lighting design at school?
|
So, I am a senior in high school and I have learning to design lights for plays and musicals the past couple of years. I do shows like this completely voluntarily as a member of the crew and I really enjoy designing and participating in these shows.
​
My experience on the light and sound board has prompted many people to ask me to host the tech for various on-campus events, things like alumni events, guest speaker events, and outside group events. These events take a decent chunk of time out of my day, and I have to focus my full attention on the event, so I can't do school work while I'm working these events, which will sometime run as late as 8-8:30 (we get out of school at 3:30 for context).
​
Recently, a friend of mine (also a senior) was paid for constructing a platform for the DJ at a school hosted dance. He was paid a lesser amount than what it would cost to rent a platform, but he was paid for his efforts. This is what really got me to consider asking for payment for the school events that I don't do for fun.
​
I guess this is less Am I the Asshole and more a Would I be the Asshole situation. Is it wrong of me to ask to be paid for these events?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.