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HONiDMqJQFUka5sYcusDCBhCGmIhG6oo
|
a5vyd7
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{
"description": "not caring about the death of someone I don't know",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 12
}
|
AITA For Not Caring About the Death of Someone I Don’t Know?
|
Someone at my school died today but I had no clue he existed until he died. A few of my friends knew him and flipped shit when I told it how I saw it. I said “it happens, people die all the time” as a simple fact. This brought everyone against me as a person who disrespects the dead and a complete asshole. All I did was state my view on the matter. So, am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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|
WRONG
|
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|
avnea6
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{
"description": "not letting kids into my room",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not letting kids into my room?
|
It was during the party we had for the 4th of July last year. My family and I had just moved into a new house, so my extended family were curious to see the house. And this is the first house we've lived in that had a second floor so it was exciting for everyone, especially all the small children running around the house.
My room is upstairs, and boy do small kids love to run up some stairs.
I was sat with my sister and cousin on the stairs that face the door to the backyard so I was just sitting there enjoying the soccer game going on outside when I suddenly see like four children come running towards me and heading upstairs. The first one leading everyone was my small nephew, so I just stopped him and told him they couldn't be upstairs unless I was with them, also mentioning that they shouldn't be running up the stairs because they could potentially hurt themselves. Those stairs are very steep and small.
Anyway, a couple minutes later, my sister comes up to me with my nephew in hand, and he's crying a bit, and she tells me that he only wanted to see my room because he hadn't had a chance to see it yet. I was a bit weirded out but I was like okay. We go upstairs and show him my room and my brother's room, since it's also upstairs.
Then on the way down my sister says that she's gonna tell our dad what I did. I reacted to this with a wtf in my head because I literally had no idea what I had done. So I ask her what I did. She said that I was being rude to my nephew because I forbade him from going into my room, and that I had treated him horribly. Hearing this made me feel like shit because I love that child to death and would never want to cause him any harm or make him feel bad.
Long story short, it turned into an even bigger argument than it should've been, shouldn't have even been an argument in the first place honestly but whatever.
Was I the asshole for not letting him into my room? I do wanna add that kids had already been in my room that day and made a bit of a mess and I was tired of it so it's not like I didn't let them up there for no reason.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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|
akk8tj
|
{
"description": "being upset at my mother for calling my girlfriend disabled",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being upset at my mother for calling my girlfriend disabled
|
To preface, I am a 30 yo male who lives with his parents going to school on my GI bill.
So I recently started seeing a new girl (24). Facebook official for about a month. She's is extremely shy, has the biggest heart in the world, works very hard and takes things easy. I have really high hopes for the relationship.
She had just visited my hometown for the first time. Met the parents at a restaurant. She was very quiet during dinner which I expected but overall the dinner went well in my opinion. My folks didn't ask her many questions but I encouraged conversation. I took her home and spent a couple days in her town with her.
When I got back my mother was waiting for me and requested that we talk. I knew from her serious tone that the conversation wouldn't go well. She expressed concern that I was seeing a "disabled" girl. This girl, in her own words, isn't "book" smart. I have found that I need to explain some pretty common phrases to her because she doesn't know them. She told me that she dropped out of High School and even when she was there she had an IEP but has held down multiple jobs and doesn't seem to be disabled to me. She definitely has had a rough past but what millennial hasn't at this point. I guess during dinner GF was rocking back and forth and my mother called it stimming. I see what she is talking about but I never got the impression the girl was autistic. I felt like she was attacking her without even giving her a chance to get to know her. I tried to talk this out with my mother but it ended up in her just walking away without saying anything.
AITA because I am upset with how my mother talked about her?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 8,
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OTHER
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{
"RIGHT": 10,
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|
RIGHT
|
EmfVIycynBRbNq6rY24hpnxxqRVml3MM
|
a2g1mh
|
{
"description": "not wanting to give my sister-in-law an expensive gift",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not wanting to give my sister-in-law an expensive gift
|
My husband and I are disagreeing over this. We're having a kid soon and justified some expensive baby purchases for the short newborn phase by saying we'd sell them afterwards. We looked up resale prices on a couple different sites, then bought items that are nice and have decent resale value. All in all, we expect around $1000 for these items.
Sister in law just found out she's pregnant, and my husband would like for us to give everything to her. I don't think we can afford this, and last month, my husband was talking about how we are going to have to really cut back to afford childcare. Also, they make more than us and can afford to buy it new or from us (at a discount to the secondary market). For context, we're all looking at buying cars. We're looking for a used CRV, and they are looking to get a Tesla Model X. I think we should ask them to contribute if they want our stuff (and they already asked for it, assuming it was free). Husband says that's not how his family works and that we should just give it to them. I point out that we've always been more generous than them in gifts, but he says that's just how it is with big brothers and little sisters. He says he'd give the shirt off his back for them. I say that would be fair if they were in need, but they have plenty.
I've offered a couple compromise solutions (we'll pay for 2/3, they pay for 1/3, we'll split the resale proceeds accordingly after everything is done being used; or we ask them to get us something we'll need and call it awash). Husband refuses and says I just don't understand.
AITA here? Husband keeps saying I'm being selfish. I think we shouldn't give gifts we can't comfortably afford.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
g5n9MZAeRAttVMIi4uscuae1MDAt0Rzb
|
adzdww
|
{
"description": "getting angry at the leasing office staff for trying to evict us over an innocent slip-up",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for getting angry at the leasing office staff for trying to evict us over an innocent slip-up
|
So my partner and I have lived at this apartment complex for about 1.5 years now. We were traveling for the holidays and got back on Jan 1, the day rent was due, but as a completely innocent slip-up forgot to pay rent. This was totally our fault, and when I was at work the next day I saw an email reminding me that the rent was late and that I owed a $75 late fee. Well, I was legitimately late so I figured I'd pay the late fee no questions asked. I went to pay online later that day and found that all online payments were blocked. Then I started getting some scared/hysterical texts from my partner saying that we were being kicked out -- they'd come by and issued a hard unconditional eviction notice stating we had to be out in three days, and the eviction would not be overturned even if we paid.
I thought this was completely ridiculous given that we'd been perfectly responsible tenants for 1.5 years and this was just an unintentional slip-up. Besides, how could it possibly make business sense to evict us when they've got \~6 months of rent left from us? I literally had over 100 months' worth of rent in my checking account alone. I sent an email asking if they could reinstate my ability to pay online and they refused. I sent a follow-up email asking if the eviction would be rescinded if I brought a cashier's check by the next day. They didn't reply.
I just sort of lost it and got livid. I figured they were bluffing, but the lack of reply made part of me wonder if they were serious. I spent the evening researching all my legal options. I went and got the cashier's check the next morning, brought it by the office, and just was so mad I think I was about to shake. I didn't actually say much. I didn't yell or really raise my voice. I just showed it to them, said, "are we good?", they tried to play it nice and said that the eviction is voided. I demanded that in writing and signed on the spot, because the notice they gave us was unconditional, meaning it's not automatically voided by paying rent. They wrote up a letter then and there and signed it. Twice before giving me the letter they tried to take the check, but I told them, "once I have it in writing." Once I had read the letter, I tossed the check onto the desk and walked out with the letter, without saying anything or acknowledging them in any way.
I've never really had this sort of interaction with anyone before. I am not one to normally lose my temper. I've been reflecting on this for a while trying to figure out if I overreacted. I think it was the "unconditional" part of the notice that had pushed me over the edge -- that made it feel less like this was a "pay or we'll evict you" thing and more of a "we're evicting you" thing.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
N2wchg0QKLP1JT7JcpWBk1pLvVMijdMS
|
a80toh
|
{
"description": "wanting my parents to including my wife's last name and to use our son's actual last names",
"pronormative_score": 197,
"contranormative_score": 70
}
|
AITA for wanting my parents to including my wife's last name and to use our son's actual last names?
|
So, when my wife and I got married she wanted to keep her last name for personal reasons. I had no issue with this and, as far as I knew, neither did my parents. Our two sons have both our last names hyphenated. However, when we receive anything from one of my parents (they are divorced so it's separately) it will be addressed to the family as just my last name and nowhere is hers listed. My father also never uses our sons full last name and uses my last name as a nickname for our oldest. This has been going on for many years and it really bothers my wife as we have been married for twelve years at this point and they are both fully aware of our names.
Anyway, we recently got a Christmas card from my dad and it was addressed using only my last name as the family name. So I decided to just directly address the issue and called him. He seemed to be upset that I had asked him to include my wife's name and to use our sons full last name. He also said that now he would need to return a gift that he got us which was a customer tree ornament that had the family name on it (just mine and not hers or hyphenated). It turned into a bit of an argument and then what seemed like an annoyed apology. Then I call my mom and it went very similarly but she ended up crying.
I feel like this should not be that big of an issue for them to acknowledge her name or our sons proper names when referring to our family but apparently it is. I don't think I'm being an asshole... Am I?
TL;DR. Asked my parents to include my wife's name and sons hyphenated last names and made my mom cry.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 48,
"OTHER": 178,
"EVERYBODY": 22,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 197,
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}
|
RIGHT
|
G55eh4ZcOGiBuu4DwC4tbIcZVtmw7coP
|
a6uin2
|
{
"description": "wanting my dead dads hunting knife that's rightfully mine",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting my dead dads hunting knife that’s rightfully mine?
|
AITA for wanting my dead dad’s hunting knife?
Over a year ago, my father passed away quite suddenly in a car accident. My two sisters(34 and 22) and I (23) were informed of his death and immediately went to the sheriffs department in the city where his body was being held in a freezer until our choice of a funeral home was able to make the drive down to remove his body. The officer who was on the scene of the accident handed us some of the belongings my father had on him in the event of the accident. Items included: his wallet, and his favorite hunting knife which was attached to his belt.
After arrangements were made for the removal of my father’s body, we made the drive back home, where my sisters and I would decide who got to keep our father’s hunting knife.
We eventually decided we would all three draw sticks for the knife. The longest stick got to keep his knife. I pulled the longest stick. Therefore the knife was to be mine. My eldest sister (34) requested that I let her borrow it for a month so she could do some hunting of her own with it. A year down the road, she still has it. I trusted she would give it back so I didn’t bother hounding her about it.
Well, the last 7 months, she (my eldest sister) has gone through such a personality change. So drastic that even other family members have commented on it. To save time describing her new personality, I’ll make it short.
Eldest sister lost a lot of weight, gained confidence (great for her!), is glued to her social media accounts where her ego is fed, guys talk to her and she becomes enveloped in trying to please them, has multiple sexual partners, has STD scares, pregnancy scares and things alike. I bring these things up because she used to be the exact opposite of what I just described. The old sister I used to know would never do the things I’m about to describe as she had much more self worth for herself.
Well, Last night I was at a local pub and bumped into my eldest sister there. She has a thing now where she likes to show out for the guys at bars and do as many push ups as she can on the bar floor. No surprise that is what she’s doing as I ran into her there. She eventually got kicked out of the pub for being violent with a bartender. No surprise for that either. I end up walking her to her boyfriends truck to make sure she gets there safely. I buckle her up and then she lets it all come out:
“YOU’RE A MOTHERFUCKER FOR NOT WATCHING MY KIDS THE OTHER NIGHT SO I COULD GO HUNTING” I am baffled at what she just said to me. I reminded her that I told her why I couldn’t watch her kids. That I was out with my friend having a few drinks. I was not physically in a state to babysit for her as I was intoxicated. She then added on that I am “not a happy helper”, which is a lie. I made sure she got to the vehicle safe and buckled up. I was more than happy to help get her home safely.
She then brought up our father. So I found the situation fitting to finally ask her about his hunting knife. She snobbishly said, “OH! The knife I use when I hunt all the damn time?”. To which I replied, “Yes, the knife I won fair and square? That’s the one I’m talking about.”
She then proceeded to yell at me saying, “YOU DON’T EVEN HUNT. YOU DO NOT NEED IT FOR ANYTHING!” I’m infuriated by this point. I replied, “That’s not the point. The point is that I won his knife fair and square. That was the deal we made.” I shut the car door and left in tears.
Am I the asshole because I have no use for my father’s hunting knife? Am I the asshole for wanting to take the knife away from my sister who puts it to use?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
ESR1Sz9RyypRjXdzteG2IaSfm1JMY9ee
|
b4910f
|
{
"description": "trying to postpone my family's visit",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for trying to postpone my family's visit?
|
I moved to another state 6 months ago. My family have the conditions to visit me but they never came. They say it's easier for me to go there and see everybody. I was upset because it's my first time living by myself and I wanted to show them my apartment. I gave up trying to make they come 1 month ago. Last week I went visit them for a weekend.
Tomorrow is my birthday and I'm going to a park (rollercoasters and stuff). It will be raining and I decided to say f\*ck it, it's free, I'm going. Now they want to drive 7 hours, go to the park, and them drive 7 hours back home, what I think it's insanity. They wouldn't stay in my house (it is 3 hours from the park).
I told them to come next month, them we can plan a whole weekend with good weather so I can show the city, beaches and everything. Now my family is upset I don't want to see them on my birthday.
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
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}
|
RIGHT
|
3fbcuzk7KVyT7991WylQVOM5bXRgl0UY
|
9wib3h
|
{
"description": "refusing to return an item after the seller publicly calls me out on Facebook",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for refusing to return an item after the seller publicly calls me out on Facebook?
|
Hey Reddit! I casually collect Funko Pops, which if you don't know, are tiny bobble head vinyl figures that come in a box. I posted an ad with a picture up to a Facebook BST group looking to sell or trade some of mine.
This guy, let's call him Bob, messages me on them, offering to trade a rarer one for some of mine. Along the negotiation process, he changes the offer half a dozen times and low balls me at every avenue. OK, that's fine, it's just part of doing business person to person and happens all the time. We finally agree on four of mine for the one, plus ten bucks on his end. When we meetup, he casually "forgets" to give me the money until I remind him before he's about to leave. OK, that's a little shady but I'm forgetful as well, so I think nothing of it.
A few hours later, he messages me back saying that one of the Pops I gave him was wrong and admits it was his fault for not confirming after changing the offer so much or checking them during the trade. Initially, I was willing to refund him the $10 or undo the entire exchange, but he kept insisting on just swapping that one for something else of mine higher valued.
When I refuse that, he also points out that one of my Pops were "not mint," due to a tiny dent on the front of the box that was clearly shown on the initial ad picture and I had never noticed before. He was basing his argument on an offhand question he asked earlier of "Are they mint condition?" to which I just replied "Yup." Bob then blows up my phone with messages saying I was a liar and a scammer, and at this point I get really ticked off, tell him to fuck off, and block him.
I later found out from mutual friends that this guy reported me to the group's admins and made a public post calling me out as a fraud, posting an extremely close up picture of the dent and a screenshot of my messages cussing him out. Obviously, everyone is uninformed and hops on the bandwagon, telling me I was an asshole and I should return the entire trade, which I now refuse to do because he is crybaby and making a mountain out of a molehill. Now I know I'm stubborn, but am I really the asshole in this situation?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
zep8xS3ZjsZmLBaFezrsNVyUczniOOa7
|
b31g4z
|
{
"description": "refusing to tip",
"pronormative_score": 29,
"contranormative_score": 35
}
|
AITA for refusing to tip?
|
This happened a couple of years ago, but I still get divided responses when it comes up.
TL;DR Waitress persistently made same stupid joke, so I didn't tip on my meal.
I was working out of town, which meant \~14 hour days and a lot of fast food. One day for dinner we went to a TGIFriday's for something slightly better than drive thru burgers. We were seated and the waitress came to take our drink order. Other guys got waters, I asked "Could I get a lemonade?" She said, "No. \*pause\* Haha just kidding!" She dropped off the drinks and I said "Could I have a straw?" She said, "No. \*pause\* Haha just kidding!" She took our orders and when it came time for mine I asked "Can I have the \[whatever\], please?" She said, "No. \*pause\* Haha just kidding!" When we were done I asked her if I could get my check and she replied (you guessed it) "No. \*pause\* Haha just kidding!"
I don't know if it was the long hours, lack of sleep, or what, but this bugged me. She made the same dumb joke numerous times even though it never got a laugh, and seemed to ONLY make the joke to me. The other two guys got straight answers each time.
When the check came for mine (we all paid separately) the total was like $13 or something. A decent tip on that would be like $3. In the tip line I just wrote the word "NO" and walked out. The two guys I was with disagreed with each other. One said it was too harsh and the other said it was funny. I didn't mean it to be funny or mean, I just wanted to make a point.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 34,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
1p8PEx0qWPAKpVPsiQrdomxYN3c8dhk3
|
acw4n5
|
{
"description": "discouraging my friends who have roughly $280,000 of debt from buying a house",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for discouraging my friends who have roughly $280,000 of debt from buying a house?
|
A little background: my friends are a couple, and are both 22, and fresh out of college. The house in question is in town East Jesus Nowhere, about an hour commute from both their jobs.
So my friends who me and my SO have known since middle school want to buy a house. Specifically the house owned by female friend's grandmother. The house is in a remote town in our state, and is about an hour from their jobs. They both went to the same 4 year college, which left them with student loans to pay back. Hers about $50k and his $60k.
They have already applied for a loan from a bank to buy the house. With all the payments for the mortgage, their car loan, utility bills, insurance for both their cars, house insurance, heating, gas, groceries, and student loans they end up with about $280,000 of debt. Which is way more then income coming in. Female friend is losing her job soon and has yet to find a new one, and male friend works at a water plant. They could possibly survive, but they have irresponsible spending habits. Female friend dropped $120 on makeup just because she wanted too, and male friend regularly splurges on MTG booster packs, sometimes $100 - $120 at a time. Now I understand treating yourself, but they buy these things, and then bitch they don't have money.
SO and I have tried to politely tell them that maybe it wouldn't be best to buy the house, as they both know and mentioned they could move out of state to use their degrees and make more money. The other day I finally snapped at female friend and laid out the basic facts that with their income to debt ratio that they wouldn't be able to afford to keep they house and would end up losing everything. She and male friend insist they'll be fine and if they lose the house they'll be fine, and refused to listen to me and SO.
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
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|
WRONG
|
cwGLy8oyaWLCVK4KGIODmOcFjwKcyjtq
|
awrr7q
|
{
"description": "ditching a meet-up with my friends after we scheduled it for a while because I fell sick",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for ditching a meet-up with my friends after we scheduled it for a while because I fell sick?
|
Context: I have a tabletop group that I meet up with occasionally depending on the schedules of everyone involved. We haven’t been able to meet for quite a while and were planning to do so this weekend. Unfortunately, one of our friends was overseas and I had prior commitments so we tried to arrange it in the evening, because if I didn’t go as well we’d have had to cancel. Fast forward a day or two, my commitments were cancelled and I let them know I could meet them earlier in the day instead, and we agreed to do that. But fast forward again to the next day when we were supposed to meet, I woke up with a really bad throat (half of my speech were whispers or zombie-groans, so it’s not just my voice being raspier or scratchier), and wanted to skip out.
Problem was that they were there early, and told me to go regardless and that I could use text to voice or hand gestures, and asked me just to go regardless. I feel pretty bad about having to skip out last minute but I also currently have trouble swallowing and cannot speak at all to anyone given how bad my throat is, and just wanted to stay at home until it got better. I told them I was going to be late because I wanted to see a doctor, and they proceeded to tell me not to go and just stay home after if I was only going to turn up in a few hours (presumably due to waiting for the doctor and the travel time, since I lived a lot farther than they do from each other).
AITA? I get that the group wouldn’t have been able to run without me (and previously I ended up missing a session because I couldn’t pull out of a commitment a few sessions ago, though they made their own arrangements to accommodate my absence), and we spent a lot of time to plan this especially since our schedules only recently freed up, but I genuinely didn’t want to go because I couldn’t speak at all and felt like I wouldn’t have been able to participate properly anyway given how I can’t communicate in a game that requires you to do so as well as I want to, and that I wouldn’t have enjoyed it that much because of how sick I was - so I felt like they were prioritising themselves over me.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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MjYX5VS2njQDAumYpE76Y8HyX5nEivjO
|
autora
|
{
"description": "not wanting to play a competitive game with people who don't have a microphone",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to play a competitive game with people who don’t have a microphone?
|
I’m on mobile so sorry if anything is a little funky.
Me and my friend got into a stupid argument about this. We both play competitive video games that are almost always better when people can speak to each other. Like, making call outs, giving the team information, it’s all faster and more efficient than typing into a chat.
I just casually told them I don’t really like playing with people who don’t have a microphone because it makes it harder for me.
They said it was like being sexist or racist because it’s discrimination? And I shouldn’t try to segregate the community.
I thought the argument was a reach, and I just replied with an ‘alright sure’ and I stopped texting them.
I know this is ridiculous and a small dumb argument but AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
EZSlqWpfYdaAuTumz7tHjSmr31Wx566D
|
ay0oo6
|
{
"description": "asking my pregnant gf for a dna test",
"pronormative_score": 142,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
WIBTA for asking my pregnant gf for a dna test?
|
I’m freaking out. Totally unplanned pregnancy. Gf and I have an open relationship. It’s definitely possible that it’s not my kid. She said she tracks her cycle and knows it’s my baby. Whatever that means.
To be honest I’m not ready for this at all. I want a dna test. I don’t know how to bring it up to her though.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 104,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 38,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 142,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
RIGHT
|
6VJxsaal3cM2Ab5BfoOIXu37HVKRcGHJ
|
ags98h
|
{
"description": "declining my former boss's request to give tips to my replacement",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I declined my former boss’s request to give tips to my replacement
|
I worked for a company for 4 years and for the last two years reported to a VP of Finance. I left the company because I received an external offer and they decided not to counter offer.
It’s now been about 4 months since I left and I got a LinkedIn message from my old boss along the lines of “would you be willing to have a call with your replacement who was just hired to give them some pointers and advice related to the role?”
I am of course flattered that he thinks well enough of me to reach out and my personality disposition is always to be helpful to others. However I’m also no longer an employee of the company and have moved on to a totally different industry.
Some random INFO which might help:
I’m a little salty about the whole situation. I put in a lot of 70 hours weeks and played a key role in growing the team and business. On my end it was a bad breakup overall.
When I provided the outside offer I mentioned both my manager and the division president I wanted to stay and even suggested multiple options for them to counter-offer.
A division President from a sister organization offered to co-fund my headcount to keep me from leaving and my Management simply outright declined.
They slightly refocused the role but less so than they originally told me when I left. So this makes me a little salty.
There is some cultural context. I was an American living in the US reporting to a Nordic-based team.
The petty part of me doesn’t want to see my replacement ‘knock it out the park’
So would I be the asshole if I declined this request? Anyone experience anything similar?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
d1XFdTEc8iMMwqOzwSwjen8OkzAIlBql
|
ba4dh7
|
{
"description": "being mad at my best friend",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being mad at my best friend
|
Me and my bff have been through a lot together. A few extremely heated fights but I love her to death and would do anything for her. We go to a really small high school and are only freshman who are trying to stay out of drama.
2 nights ago I got sent a dick pic on snap chat by some boy in my class. I didn't want it, I didn't ask for it, I just kind of opened up my snapchat and it was there. I was actually pretty upset, but laughed it off trying not to make a bigger deal about it then it was. I told a small group of people who I thought I could trust. One of them actually ended up telling my whole bus (about 7 people like I said a small school) I was really upset and begged them not to say anything. The said they wouldn't and I moved on with my day.
My bff wasn't answering her messages, so I told her in person near the end of the day. We had math with the guy and my bff sits right behind him and was making fun of him THE ENTIRE CLASS PERIOD. Never actually said anything to him besides pulling on his hoodie and saying 'hey' while giggling, but spoke loudly enough that he could hear her. I told her to stop and she would, for about five minutes. The boy who sent me the dick pic specifically asked me not to tell anyone which I half agreed too so at this point I felt awful. I go to art class which is my last class and 6 people come up to me and ask about it. I'm upset, to say the least.
Apparently, my best friend told a huge gossip, and her other friend I'm not close with even though I told her not to tell anyone. I send her a bunch of texts saying basically what the heck why would you tell people, and she responded with 'this isn't my fault at all, you told people too your whole bus knows sorry it happened though.' That's all she had to say. The gossip she told ended up filling in the rest of the class on it and making fun of the boy who sent that dick pic to me.
I sent her this super long paragraph basically saying I didn't tell everyone on my bus someone else did and I was angry about it. I also said that there's a difference between other people and her because I trusted her so much more. She left me on read for hours. I texted her late last night and was like 'i don't know if my messages didn't send or you're just ignoring them and we aren't talking anymore'. She finally texted me back 2 hours later with this massive guilt trip saying that it isn't even a little her fault and that she doesn't need this from me right now and she's so stressed out and stuff. She also said that I shouldn't have told people that were going to tell other people. EVEN THOUGH THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT SHE DID. So now we aren't talking and I'm super mad at her but she says I'm the asshole for being upset with her cause it's my fault it got out.
Sorry for spelling errors and grammar mistakes I'm worked up rn.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
L2guRygOLwYF4Mq0wr1JPwnBJoGbwwjL
|
asp1q1
|
{
"description": "being happy when my roommate is not in the room",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being happy when my roommate is not in the room?
|
It’s nothing personal, I just really don’t like having a roommate. She’s a nice girl and she minds her business but I feel like I never have any privacy. She’s always in our dorm room. If she goes out to eat, she’ll take it to go and eat it in the room. She “studies” in the room but every time I look over she’s just on social media and not even doing work.
I can’t help but feel really annoyed when I walk in and she’s here. When she leaves for class and I get a couple of minutes alone, I feel so relieved and at peace.
AITA? Should I request a new room by myself?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
PipGu2FCUwb22xoDeF4mupIru0adwf5B
|
amzv1f
|
{
"description": "taking my friend's hero on Overwatch",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for taking my friend’s hero on Overwatch?
|
I will be using simple terms so that people who aren’t familiar with the game will still get the gist of what is going on.
I’m from a much higher level than my friend, but made a second account to play with them. I play an off-tank on my main account. (Think of it as off-white vs white. Same class, different roles.) They are best with a damage character, but their confidence is lacking and they often won’t pick a damage character unless forced to (everyone else picked tank, off tank or healer). Usually this means they wind up healing.
They aren’t a bad healer, I’d say above average for their level. But they are a FANTASTIC damage player. They make mistakes like anyone else of course, but our games shine when they play damage.
Out of maybe 50 games we played today, I would ask them to play damage right off the bat maybe 30 of them. Of those 30, they actually chose to play damage 5-6 times max. That meant they were often healing or tanking. This left me in a bad spot as an off tank.
Because I am from a higher level, when compared to people at my friend’s level? My mediocre tends to be on par with their good-great. Tired of asking my friend to play damage only to get rejected, and tired of having to try and churn out damage as non-damage characters? I started playing damage myself. Every few games I would offer to play whatever role they were playing so that they could damage instead. Almost every time they refused. Eventually I stopped asking.
So we arrive at our last game of the day. Another duo in our team automatically takes both damage slots. They pick...bad characters. Bad for the map, bad when taking into account the rest of the team and bad as far as their ability to output damage. I play along and fill the empty off-tank role.
Turns out that not only are the damage players picking bad characters, they are actually bad at playing them. I try to up their chances by going a third healer. We lost the first of two rounds and the duo makes the same picks again at the start of round 2. I finally bite the bullet and go third damage. I pick the best damage character for the situation....this happens to be the damage character my friend plays the most.
I did not ask my friend if they would go damage. I FELT that
1. I had asked them many times that day and they clearly didn’t want to play damage
2. I was worried they would feel pressured or that I was being obnoxious
3. Often? When the situation is dire they will go third damage, knowing I will swap around to facilitate this. They had the entire first round to choose to do this and did not. This, even though I had switched to a third healer in a silent attempt to encourage them.
4. After picking third damage I waited silently to see if my friend would ask me to get off so that they could play that hero. They didn’t. Later I found out that they had “resigned” themselves to a loss and as such weren’t paying attention to who was playing what on our team.
The second my friend realizes that I have gone third damage as their character, they ask me why I am playing them. Not why I am third damage, but why I am playing their character.
Me: “Because I knew if I asked you wouldn’t.”
Obviously, this was an assumption on my part. For the reasons stated above, I really didn’t think they would do it. We needed it. I did it.
They were livid. In their mind, I should have asked them to play damage verbally. I conceded that I could see why they felt this way and maybe I should have. I gave them my reasons for not doing so and was promptly told my reasons were asinine and stupid.
They felt I was “holding it against them” that they refused to play damage for the bulk of the previous games, even when I asked them to. That my attempts to get them to play damage in the past matches were “irrelevant” to me asking them to play damage in THAT match. They also implied that they “couldn’t” go damage in past games because I was playing damage. This, despite the fact that I would often ask to switch roles with them.
Finally - and this is where I wonder about my potential asshole-ness? They said it was wrong of me to pick “their” character. I told them I didn’t think there was anything wrong with this.
Them: “I’ll just play (a character I play) or (another character I play) and then you can be upset at how shitty I am at them.”
Me: “That’s fine? I don’t mind you playing characters I play. I know I’m not the best at (my friend’s damage character) but it was what we needed and I didn’t think you’d do it.”
Them: “and how did that work out for you?”
Me: “Well, I WAS the last to die...”
Them: “Because of me!!” (Remember, they were healing.)
Me: “I’m not saying I did the best job, but I didn’t think that you would switch to damage.”
Them: “Did you ask?”
Me; “No, but I told you why I didn’t and you told me they were stupid reasons.”
Them: “Because they were!”
This wouldn’t upset me in this scenario or even at the start of a fresh match. But by my friend’s admission, this is what upset them the most.
So, please tell me:
Am I the asshole for choosing to play the character my friend normally plays?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
7Fwpcgvro5D2GzwtcDQXKJcvBeSRKe6s
|
b71bcn
|
{
"description": "kicking a dog in defense",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for kicking a dog in defense?
|
Some background. I'm 14 years old, and have had my dog since it was 3 months old. We go on the same walking path ever since I got him, and nothing like this ever happened to us.
This happened a few days ago. I went out for a walk with my 2 friends and my dog (which is a 1.5 year old German shepherd), like we usually do, but this time, as we were about 5 minutes into our walk, (keep in mind we're walking on somewhat of a narrow sidewalk, so we have to basically single file line our way through until we get to the wider road.) There was a stray and very aggressive dog wandering around. We were very worried as to being attacked by the dog,which could have been rabid, and my German shepherd potentially being injured or infected.
The dog, which we will call AD, (aggressive dog) comes charging at us, obviously going for my dog which we will call MD (my dog) and tries to go for his face. He gets my dog in the back (no idea how). AD is a medium size, probably mix breed, slightly smaller than MD, but very feisty dog. As AD has a very strong jaw grip on MD's back fur, fight or flight kicks in and I...kick AD in the face. It whimpers, lets go of MD, and then runs away.
I love MD to death, I would do anything for my best bud, so I couldn't let him get injured. On the other hand, I also felt really bad for AD moments after, seeing AD whimper and run away, as I'm a very lighthearted person. The friends I was with, all retreated a couple metres away. And they saw everything, which was an event of about 15 seconds, and said that I shouldn't have kicked AD, and that MD was obviously bigger and capable of defending himself. I also told my parents when I got home and they said that maybe I shouldn't have kicked AD but somehow pulled AD away from MD?
Afterwards I went home, got my dog some water, and immediately went to the vet with my parents and told the vet everything that had happened, got MD checked, (fortunately no wounds or blood, didn't even break skin.) The vet brought the same argument to the table as my parents. I'm really lost here, and don't know what was the right thing I should have done? Please no rude comments. I'm sure someone agrees with me?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 17,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 17,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
ZOwwWcRYOzaVk538XrgbD0oF6NBtpiDo
|
azzn0j
|
{
"description": "not wanting to take care of my sisters cat",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to take care of my sisters cat?
|
Basically my sister adopted a cat last year when she was living with her boyfriend. They broke up so she had to move back home with myself and my mom and took the cat with her.
Now she’s planning on moving out and doesn’t want to take the cat with her as it’s hard to find an apartment that will allow cats.
I told her today that I don’t want to look after him and she she was not happy.
She says he loves the area and thrives being able to be able to go outside and it wouldn’t be fair to move him to an apartment.
I do love animals and I have in the past looked after her animals after she moved out (2 chinchillas 1 of them died while I was looking after them which was a bit traumatizing) but a cat is a lot of responsibility.
He also peed on my bed a few weeks ago while I was asleep in it and I had to spend almost €200 on new bed clothes and covers. She never apologized for this and never offered to pay anything to help.
I feel guilty if I don’t agree to take care of him because it will be much harder for her to find a new place but also she should of thought of this before she adopted a cat.
So am I an asshole if I don’t want to make things easier for her by looking after the cat?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
h0g8ChUv3qBmad3dBnOaZFJtL0V9HtIp
|
b3x38k
|
{
"description": "trying to provide a different point of view when my girlfriend just wanted to vent",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA trying to provide a different point of view when my girlfriend just wanted to vent
|
My girlfriend was at her parents place today having dinner. Her sister and the sister's boyfriend were also present. My girlfriend was watching Queer eye on TV with her mom when they sister's boyfriend made a comment about there only being 2 genders (male and female) and that their goal is to procreate. My girlfriend took offense and told him that that isn't true and people can be different. He didn't budge from his position.
She called me afterwards, pretty emotional, to tell me about this event. I fully agreed with her that she was wrong. What annoyed me is that she kept calling him "fucking dumb" which prompted me to say that she may have changed his mind if she empathized with him more. With this I mean that his upbringing may have been very negative towards LGBT and non male/female genders.
My girlfriend got even more upset saying that she just wanted to vent rather than have another discussion with me. Never was my intention to get her upset, it simply was to provide another point of view.
I'm genuinely not sure if I'm the asshole here so I'm interested in your opinion.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
K32uHudvDbti8a4Wtdsn6IPQGO8N8Bi9
|
a1ejhv
|
{
"description": "not wanting to talk to my dad when I saw him in a restaurant",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to talk to my dad when I saw him in a restaurant
|
There’s a lot of background info needed here but I’m going to try and make it as short as possible for everyone’s sake. Basically my parents got divorced a looong time ago and when my dad got remarried he made the mistake of marrying a huge bitch who after 8-9 years of living with me decided she didn’t want me in the picture anymore and my dad let her send me away to my grandparents house. I haven’t spoken to either of them or my stepsister in over a year and a half and then about a week ago I saw my dad in a restaurant. The thing that freaked me out the most was that when he saw me he asked how I was but I didn’t want to be in the conversation so I gave him very short answers. The conversation ended and after I got my food I left and took it to go. The worst part was how much anxiety this gave me and how nervous and scared I was. I’ve had anxiety about this happening for a long time and then when it finally did I didn’t know how to handle myself. I kept thinking about how I could’ve handled it better and felt guilty for not wanting to talk to him since he looked very sad and angry. Anyways AITA for not wanting to speak to him?
TL;DR- saw my dad after a long time of not having any contact and tried to get out of the convo as soon as possible. Felt a little guilty afterward and don’t know why
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
vFkgxARIlXLXg7G693plobD6X272juNG
|
aeb2lh
|
{
"description": "expecting my wife to deal with the repairs after busting up the car",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for expecting my wife to deal with the repairs after busting up the car?
|
The other day my wife had a minor scrape in the car park (car vs wall) and it left quite a few deep scratches along the back passenger side of the car. My first reaction was to be pretty pissed, because it's a relatively new car and was previously in great condition. I was careful not to show my frustration though when she text me a picture of the damage, I confirmed that she was OK and I didn't make a big deal about the cost or the damage, even though I am admittedly pretty pissed off about the whole thing. I figure that the less I think about it the less ticked off I will be.
She took the initiative and sent pictures of the damage to a local spray shop and they've quoted roughly $550 to repair the damage. She's also taken the car to the dealer directly as the car was booked in for a service with them on Monday, and she told me they said they'll email me with a quote. So far so good.
When I got home tonight I told her I would forward her their email so she could compare it with the spray shop and to go with whichever she preferred. She looked at me like I'd come into her house on Christmas and pissed on her kids. She asked me why I would forward it to her, that she knows nothing about cars (or how to drive one, clearly) and then accused me of trying to punish her by making her deal with it all.
I told her that no, I did not want to deal with it and that I would like her to sort it out.
So I'm sat here on my own while my wife has gone to cool off because apparently I'm an asshole for asking her to clean up her own mess.
So... AITI?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 1
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
SPh0X4vtLDCy39uQFXJpUI2jbkyM4Ox4
|
ak5ibf
|
{
"description": "refusing to bring a vital piece of a project for teammates",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for refusing to bring a vital piece of a project for teammates?
|
I'm currently trying to reflect, and looking at my past, i have a alot of things i want to see in a new light.
This happened about 1 and a half years ago. At the time i was in the middle of a volunteer project.
So, at the start of this year-long project, we were assigned teams which were supposed to stick together and build booths to teach basic science concepts to children. This was only one part of this project, which had various other activities a volunteer could do aswell. So, at the end of the first and only mandatory group session, we were told to keep our booths until the group leader organised a session outside the centre (as the science centre was closing for renovations during school break) and were supposed to improve our booths whilst volunteering for projects outside of the centre. So, at the start, it seemed okay, did a few more sessions alone while there where no group sessions. Additionally, i was not contacted at all by any group member during this period of time, and correctly assumed that they did not need the part of the booth i was given to keep (about 6 kg worth of art supplies and assorted papers and decorations) and also (incorrectly) assuming that no group sessions were planned.
Cut to about 3 months later. It is a friday evening, and suddenly, i am contacted by none other than the group leader that had not contacted me at all (at this point, i had practically given up on doing anymore group sessions) who added me to a group chat with all the other teammembers which had been created a year ago, almost immediately, i had just discovered that they had actually been communicating through out the months just that i had been left out, and even went to several previously unknown group sessions! So, I thought that after this long hiatus, they would be looking to plan another group session, or maybe update me on what had happened.
Instead, the first communication was *****(me) please come tomorrow afternoon and meet us at ***** library to pass us the booth items. I had to immediately refuse, seeing as i had a paid swimming lesson the next day that afternoon, which i had also told while discussing with them about when we could not make it about the first time we met and that library's location was at least an hours journey from my home. I apologised at first, thinking it was possible to reschedule or compromise to a closer place, and was immediately scolded by them and insulted as a useless teammate only a mere hour after they had added me to a group which i had never known existed as they 'had planned this for months' and that i was 'not contributing' to events i were not informed of. Which they also failed to tell me about. Even when we were working with each other in close contact for a MONTH. (Planning the first mandatory group session plus building booth)
And to add a cherry on top, she also attempted to report me to a teacher in charge of liasioning with the center, which sided with her at first, then learned of her just leaving me out for almost half a year only to add me back for the booth(pretty sure i would never have heard anything of her otherwise) and pretty much just told me to pass him the stuff on monday when i could make it. I stuck to individual work from then on, and returned the booth items at the time the teacher said too.
To conclude, i don't really regret putting my foot down and refusing to carry a ~6kg heavy plastic box to them on a 2 hour round trip and also wasting money on the regular, prepaid swimming class i had, but am i the asshole for wrecking their plans?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
D3d3Krf46vQU6cxvA9b4QiU0imT9FafJ
|
b9orhg
|
{
"description": "cutting my best friend out for not asking how I am after having a baby",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 19
}
|
WIBTA for cutting my best friend out for not asking how I am after having a baby?
|
I can’t tell if this is hormones or rational so I thought I’d come to you lovely people for advice.
I had a baby last weekend, my first and he is perfect.
My best friend is the first person we told. She didn’t seem excited so I figured it was shock and she’d come around. She was there for me some during the pregnancy- I had a scare one day and she came over to sit.
She’s short on money so husband and I planned on paying her to watch our dogs this week. She watches them fairly often and sometimes just asks to because she misses them. She was excited to keep them.
And then my water broke and all she said back was “I’m sick”. Even though we had plans the next day and had been texting all day. Out of the blue sick. I thanked her for telling me and not getting baby sick and really believed her at first. But almost a week later I’ve asked her how she’s doing twice and she hasn’t asked me how I am at all.
During the pregnancy it was something we barely talked about because I could tell she had little interest. We still hung out at least once a week. Little interest was fine with me during it because I felt like she wasn’t just treating me like an incubator like so many tend to do. But now I’m thinking it’s deeper and I’m really resenting not even a “how are ya?” When she lives five minutes away and we had set plans in place for how she was supposed to help.
WIBTA for just not texting or reaching out again?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 18,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 5
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 19
}
|
WRONG
|
l6hu0lSVezhClUNMltUGUzjsmIeE3tEl
|
b7jpti
| null |
AITA Got into argument with mother over purchase
|
Just to start off I'm on my mobile phone as my computer is down so I apologize for the formatting. But me and my mom go into an argument about what happened a day ago about what I said. We was in a store looking around and I saw some items I wanted that were a little pricey. I figured I have the money I could go ahead and get it. Well my mom makes the comment "why are you getting that" and I was going to reply back with " it's my money but I appreciate the concern though" but I only was able to get out "it's my money" because as soon as those three words came out she goes "well excuse the hell out of me". Then she got upset, now mind you there are times when she is what seems to me trying to tell me what I should and shouldn't buy. So we get into this argument over why I shouldn't of bought what I bought and she goes "well when I'm dead and gone you will wish you listened to me more." This isn't the first time she has pulled the "if I was dead" card and this isn't the first time her and I have bumped heads. My question is, am I the asshole for saying what I said or is she overreacting?
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"description": "telling my best friend to shut up about her eating disorder",
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AITA for telling my best friend to shut up about her eating disorder?
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I (17F) have had very bad food issues since I was 8 years old. I had binge eating disorder, which transitioned to anorexia, which has now transitioned to bulimia. I've gone on the pill recently and the fact that puking after you've had it renders it useless has kept me from purging some of my meals, which is very helpful.
My friend (17F), has IBS. She can't eat many foods and the result of this is a very complicated relationship with food. Since last December she has been venting to me about her eating disorder, telling me very explicit details like the fact that she doesn't eat for 3 days and gets bad headaches and faints whenever she stands up.
I've told her countless times that this is very triggering for me as eating disorders are highly competitive and it encourages me to fast and puke to keep up with her in a twisted way. Therefore I've told her that she isn't to talk to me about her eating disorder at all because it's inhibiting me from my own recovery, and that I do not want to hear about any of her food related issues.
I'm her only friend, and she has nobody else to vent to about her issues, but they trigger my eating disorder heavily. AITA?
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HISTORICAL
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"description": "not telling my \"depressed\", pregnant sister all the lovely things her boyfriend thinks she needs to hear",
"pronormative_score": 5,
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|
AITA for not telling my "depressed", pregnant sister all the lovely things her boyfriend thinks she needs to hear?
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I grew up in a society where it was taught that you should bend over backwards for any family at any cost. As an adult, I learned about abuse and mental and emotional health and I soon realized that everyone was wrong about having to break your back for family at any and all costs. For a few years I have maintained a healthy distance from the family members that do not try to have a relationship with me; my sister being one of these people. I have tried multiple times to mend the relationship with my sister, however, she has predetermined thoughts about me and every time I'm around her she treats me like an enemy. I have addressed this with her but even after I addressed this, things did not change. I know I'm not perfect and there is plenty to dislike about me but she has never given me a chance. I am a completely different person now and she's never cared or put in any effort to try to change that.
A little history: my sister is a stranger to me. Growing up, she was never around. She was always getting into some trouble--running away, sneaking out, drinking, in and out of juvenile hall, etc. So, naturally, I do not care too much about her and I can say that I do not actively love her. I don't wish ill upon her but I also don't want to spend my limited time on her.
I get a call tonight and it's my sisters boyfriend--who I have no relationship with for so many reasons. He starts telling me about whats been going on. Apparently my sister has been in and out of the hospital, she had "heart failure" and is "feeling like she doesn't want to be here anymore"--here being Earth. He then starts going on about how he knows that things have not always been good between the family but that we all really need to pull together to "show her that she's loved".
I don't know if this seems shitty to admit, but I don't want to use my limited free time to tell a stranger that I love her so much and blah, blah, blah. There is nothing anyone can say or do to pull someone out of this, so why should I tell her these scripted lines that she knows are lies? I'm sure her boyfriend has good intentions but I don't think it's okay to put that kind of pressure on people. I couldn't--simply because I didn't want to--tell her the things he wanted me to. Instead I let her know that I was aware that there was nothing I could do or say to make her feel better but that I was here for her anyways. I also told her that she can't get any better if she doesn't decide to help herself. Maybe that's not helpful, but I think spitting lies is worse.
I don't know Reddit. Do you think I'm the asshole here?
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"description": "not giving up my seat at the DMV office to this man and his family",
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|
AITA for not giving up my seat at the DMV office to this man and his family?
|
I'm at the DMV to get my out-of-state car registered. I finish my application and I am waiting for my number on the screen.
​
I see this couple watching their son((<1 yr probably) play. At this time when I chose to take a seat, there were multiple open seats (even consecutive ones) , but I saw that the family didn't chose to grab any and were focused on their son who was playing -- he was running from one end to the other end. As it started getting busier, a lot of those seats started being occupied, but there was one open seat right next to me. The mom decided to sit on the floor right in front of me. I would have offered her a seat but since there was an empty right next to me, I thought she preferred to sit on the floor and watch her child. The dad, meanwhile, was watching his kid from far away. The mom started spreading all her shit she was carrying in her bag with no concern that she was blocking me. I later found that she couldn't speak any english and I thought it was more of a cultural thing than anything else.
Now the dad comes to me and says "can I have the seat?" in a demanding tone. Now, I would have given up my seat if he had asked politely, but his demeanour was such that he deserved to have any seat he chose just because he has a toddler and that he had the moral authority to do so. He and his wife clearly chose to not sit when there were seats available and now that his wife marked her territory in front of me, he wants my seat and the seat next to me. I didn't know whether he was asking for himself or his wife and pointed to the empty seat right next to me and said you could sit there.
His face gets red and he starts looking around for seats and then finds some seats on the other side of the office. While passing me he says "He is not an American" twice loudly so I can hear. Well, I am brown and an immigrant (legal). I give him marks for guessing that, but I didn't say anything back.
Did I deserve that? Am I the asshole for not giving up my seat to a person and his family who feel they deserve to sit wherever and whenever they want to in a DMV office?
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"description": "not wanting to be a step-parent",
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AITA For not wanting to be a step-parent?
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Hi reddit. I’m in a situation that just has me feeling shitty all around.
So basically, some background. My boyfriend may be a father in a couple days. It’s a long story but before i knew him, 9 months ago, his “ex,” got pregnant, but she doesn’t know who the dad is because although she has one child already that’s around 6-7 years old, she was told she couldn’t have anymore and she was having sex with him while cheating with another guy that she had been with for 4 years and she ended up pregnant while she was having sex with both men.
So i guess in conclusion, there’s a 50/50 chance my boyfriend is the dad, and she’s due any day now but my boyfriend is mixed and pretty dark and her boyfriend (same one that she had been with for 4 years) is white, so we’re definitely gonna know who’s it is when it comes out.
My question is, Am i an asshole for not knowing if i still wanna be with him if it does turn out to be his? My thing is, she’s really messy. She’s already disrespected me a lot and she hasn’t even met me or talked to me, only about me. I have never talked to her, not even 2 words, so already i see that she’s just bitter towards me for the simple fact that i’m with him. She also is just an all around shitty person (and that’s not just coming from a place of bitterness) and i know that if it’s his there will be a lot of problems in our relationship because of her and her pettiness. Although she has her man, she still tries to see my boyfriend and she also tries using him for money. He wants to be in the kid’s life and i’m glad, because growing up i didn’t have much of a family and i’m all for that—but as much as i love him, i just don’t know if i want to be a part of all this and take on being a step parent and put myself in the middle of the whole babymama-drama mess.
I’m torn between “a step parent can be the best thing to happen to a child,” and “it will hurt at first, but things will be easier if i leave now.” Part of me wants to be happy & supportive, and go buy baby clothes and all the works, and go to her as a woman saying hey, i’m here and i’m a part of this and i’ll be really glad to work with you if you’ll do the same, if it turns out to be his...but part of me is just kinda bummed out because i know it would never be that easy and if i’m being honest, i’m just too insecure of a person that i would end up stressing about it all the time and i’m at a point in my life where i just feel like my own happiness and peace of mind comes first in my life.
It feels so selfish to leave over this because nobody has ever treated me so good and i love him, but i also know that staying is going to put a lot more on my plate and i’m not sure if i’m ready for that.
Am i the asshole here?
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"description": "'kicking' my boyfiend out of my student house and effectively leaving him homeless",
"pronormative_score": 12,
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AITA for 'kicking' my (21F) boyfiend (M27) out of my student house and effectively leaving him homeless?
|
Well, some are calling me an asshole for this, but I am not sure.
My boyfriend and I have been together for one month officially, and in that time he got kicked out of his friends house, to which I said he could stay at my house, honeymoon phase and all. He also lost his bank card, so he was staying with me rent and bill free plus living costs until he got paid, to which I have not seen this money yet. Naive, I know.
A couple of weeks ago I found out that I was pregnant, and had to arrange an abortion. He wasn't overly supportive, and when I got upset would say 'it won't matter in a few weeks'. I came back home to my parents this week because I felt smothered and wanted time away to try and do my essays whilst dealing with crippling morning sickness and emotional strain about the whole thing. On the day of the abortion (only two days ago), which was twenty minutes away from my house where he's staying, he completely forgot about it. When I said I was in hospital and couldn't talk, it didn't even click and he assumed it was A&E. He blamed it on the fact he had worked the rugby weekend; as had my best friend and I heard from her first thing that morning. He said he was tired and tried to make me feel guilty. I had a really rough time and ended up with injections in my ass and a drip because I couldn't keep the medication down, but he simply blamed me for not updating him - I was in hospital all day slightly preoccupied - when he hadn't even asked.
Since I found out about the pregnancy my rationale flooded in about our living situation, and I advised him that since he had a flat in another city, maybe he could use it to commute to and from work in my city because I didn't think it was healthy that we were living together so soon. He immediately agreed and has had two weeks to organise it, but tomorrow is the day he has to go (also because my parents are furious) and has completely flipped. He is saying that I have made him homeless and he is having a mental breakdown, has no one to stay with and nowhere to go and is now refusing to talk to me. He insists that he is going to be 'streeting it' for at least a week. I am really concerned and feel like a massive arsehole. I feel so responsible and my one friend says that I can't do that to him, whereas the other says that he is guilt tripping me and will likely find somewhere to stay amongst his 'friends all over the UK' and what about his flat? I am at a loss, and feel like such a twat. AITA?
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HISTORICAL
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"description": "getting mad at my boyfriend",
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AITA for getting mad at my boyfriend
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Didn't really know how to condense a good title of this situation so sorry for the vague-ness of the title above.
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Anyways, to try to keep things short and to the point me and my boyfriend have been dating long distance for a little under 1.5 years now. We both go to colleges on opposite sides of the US.
Anyways, the last couple of months have been kind of rough for us. But, we've gotten into a routine of FaceTiming every night. He's busier than me usually throughout the day, or I'm just more responsive to texts idk but FaceTime is important to us because it's when we get to finally talk "face to face" and have just some alone time. (if you're in a ldr you get it)
Anyways, this week we've both been especially more busy (job interviews, midterms, all the things that come with college) and both agreed we wanted to talk alot tonight to catch up and such. My bf started ta-ing this semester and so I'd been texting him when his shift ended asking to FaceTime because we'd planned on doing that. But, he responds half an hour later "I'm staying late" "there's alot of people here the hw is due tomorrow" and then I just get frustrated/mad at him and eventually say that I dont want to FaceTime anymore tonight.
I'm not mad that he is TA-ing and helping students, it's more just the fact that we'd planned on talking tonight, but he just blows it off. Also, I cancelled on some plans tonight with a friend to do a case competition because if I didn't then we wouldn't have had time to talk. I'm mad that it feels like (and I've felt this for a while) I'm willing to push aside my plans more than he is, for our relationship.
So, AITA?
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HISTORICAL
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alkbge
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{
"description": "having an old man's car towed in the middle of winter",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 3
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|
AITA for having an old man's car towed in the middle of winter?
|
I live in the city and on my street you can only park on one side from 9AM to 4PM. They have that rule because snow plows can't drive down it if there are cars on both sides.
I saw a plow come through and reverse when it got to this one car that was parked on the wrong side around 1PM. It belongs to an old man who lives in an apartment building across the street.
I called the city's complaint line to let them know that the plow couldn't get through because of the car that was parked there. They sent a tow truck and towed it. The plow came through after that which made the road wider and makes parking on that side easier because people won't have to shovel out spots.
Am I the asshole here?
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "accidentaly punching my friend",
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|
AITA for accidentaly punching my friend
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Ok so im 12 and around this age EVERYONE is having their birthdays in dance club and its a fun time.At the time of the story (which is 2 days ago) it was the weekend and there were 2 birthdays and i went to both.
F1- best friend 1, F2-best friend 2
Ok so we are all coming back home together after the first birthday and its going fine. Close to our homes,my F1 jokingly started putting his foot in front of mine, so i jokingly started running after him being all like " come fight me bro " and the F2 stand in between us and im jokingly flailing my arms around and i accidentally punched him but it was a light punch. He was super mad and started cussing me out on the way home, also he was spitting on the floor but it was night so we couldnt tell if it was blood
The next day it was F2s birthday ( important to note: F1 and F2 were also best friends , F2 was on my side and F1 likes to dance ) and the minute i step into the club F1 says "omfg heres this guy again". I tried apologizing but he was ignoring me.I started trying to strike a conversation but he just pushed me out the way
Now i know this is SUPER petty but i started dancing and whenever i got the chance i started dancing next to F2 so F1 wouldnt come to us.
Later we went home with our friends and i tried once more to talk to him about a very important match in our country since he went in a restaurant to check the TV but again the ignoring continiued.
TL;DR accidentaly punched a friend and he wont let me apologize
Am i the asshole? If there are any questions feel free to ask
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{
"description": "not wanting to buy food that I will not eat",
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|
AITA for not wanting to buy food that I will not eat?
|
I currently live with three others in an apartment and have done so for the past four months. I genuinely believed before the fall semester started that I would be cooking fairly often. Unfortunately, laziness led to me eating out for almost every meal. As time went on, I would stop going on grocery runs because I literally never ate at home.
Now, it's spring semester and my schedule is actually extremely busy. I only eat out. I'm refusing to go on a Costco run to buy food from a list for my roommates. I stated that if we planned meals ahead of time and I would be guaranteed to eat from it, I would be happy to stop by a market before going home and split ingredients for it. I also said I'd be happy, as always, to split anything else we need around the house. Otherwise, I can't just buy groceries that will be consumed by everybody else but me.
I'm currently being told that I'm causing purchasing food to be a financial burden for everybody else and not being a good roommate or friend. I don't get how splitting groceries, assuming we all eat the same amount of food, even saves us money in the first place. That's not even the case, as two of my roommates, the ones complaining about it, eat disproportionately more food than me or my other roommate.
I genuinely want to know, am I missing something here?
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "leaving the guild",
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|
AITA for leaving the guild?
|
I was a member of a guild in an mmo. The leader was a huge piece of shit for a number of reasons, of which I don't have time to go into detail here. Anyway the leader pulled some shit and it caused an exodus of players from the guild. Most of which, were my close friends. But one member, the leader's wife, was an incredibly close friend of mine, i considered her like a sister, call her S. After the exodus, I stayed for her. I stuck through it, and reached out to those who left, got my raid group back, and was able to play with everyone, I spent time with S and spent a little time with the other group(at this point we had only raided once). But once she found out I had another group, the following conversation happened\*:
\*Typed into a Screenshot because would take to long to edit out private information: [https://imgur.com/a/0lfZyVw](https://imgur.com/a/0lfZyVw)
And we left it at that and we went back to normal the next day. This did, however cause me to breakdown in the middle of class, and I had to go home for the day. Now today, THIS conversation happened: [https://imgur.com/a/xOJq0ne](https://imgur.com/a/xOJq0ne)
Red is me, Black is her, White is just other general stuff. This made me break down a second time. I really felt like I was being guilt tripped and manipulated, so I went to a friend, and we decided it was best for me to just leave because this drama was going to kill me. S didn't take it well: [https://imgur.com/a/lINgKNX](https://imgur.com/a/lINgKNX)
This whole experience has been heartbreaking and even though everyone I've talked to has said I did what was best for my sanity in the long run, I still feel horrible for what I've done... I need fresh eyes on this.
Reddit, please help me figure this out.
\- Angel
If you see something in the post or screenshots that can reveal identities, lmk asap so I can edit them. thank you.
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{
"description": "not allowing cousins to grow up together",
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|
WIBTA if I dont allow cousins to grow up together
|
A little bit of background, my sister and her husband are both narcissists, we havent been close in years. Only catch up a few times a year in family situations, and usually try to keep the peace. Have so many stories about their behaviour, but that's for another time.
She has recently given birth to their first child / grandchild for all families involved. My other siblings and I can already see how this poor kids life will turn out with 2 narcissistic parents, and would love to protect this child as much as possible.
I'm due with my first child in a few months, and my sister has started going on about how good that the cousins will be so close in age, they'll be the best of friends etc.
Our parenting styles will be quite different due to our personalities, and our different partners etc
WIBTA for not allowing my child to have a lot of access to his cousin based on the past actions of my sister and her husband?
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HYPOTHETICAL
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{
"description": "telling my best friend her study habits are terrible",
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|
AITA for telling my best friend her study habits are terrible?
|
My best friend and roommate in college (senior year) is a dedicated student who spends basically all of her free time studying. Sometimes it gets on my nerves because she'll act like I'm being inconsiderate when I ask if she has time to watch a movie or something, like how could she ever take a few hours to chill. She is constantly studying but never getting ahead in her work. Based on the amount she studies, she should have perfect grades, but she never does as well as she thinks she should. I personally believe this is because she has ineffective studying habits, such as copying all concepts down in quizlet and overanalyzing everything she turns in to the point she takes much longer on an assignment than I think anyone should.
My friend and I are very different on this front. I have nearly perfect grades, but I spend much less time studying because I believe I have found study tricks that work so I'm spending less time being more effective, rather than spending an entire day being only slightly effective. She often chalks this up to a difference in our personalities and learning abilities, but I disagree, I think she could change her study habits and benefit. So, the other day, I came home and she was clearly stressed and said, "Why do I feel like I'm constantly studying but I never feel like I get anything done?" She asked, so I just said bluntly, "If you want me to be completely honest with you, I think it's because your study habits are ineffective," and I explained my reasoning. She started tearing up (she was clearly already drained from studying all evening) and I tried to explain what I meant and tried to give her suggestions of things to try instead of her current ways.
It is hard for me to watch her spending so much time with little academic payoff, so I thought my honesty would help. Ever since then, she has barely talked to me, and when I bring it up she says she's fine and she's not mad. I can tell she hasn't tried adjusting her study habits. I'm worried maybe I was a little blunt and maybe it's not worth trying to change your study habits in senior year anyway. I'm overthinking it now because I'm very unconfrontational and I've never really done something like that and I just want to know, am i the asshole?
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a3aefr
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{
"description": "choosing to be with a friend group that I can relate more then the friend group that I have longer history with",
"pronormative_score": 3,
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|
AITA for choosing to be with a friend group that I can relate more then the friend group that I have longer history with?
|
I recently me a new group of friends at college that are all in my major, have the same interest as me, like to go out, and same skin color as me (which I find important since i am black snd go to a PWI). My previous friend group pretty much was the opposite of all these things except shared interest.
My question is, AITA if I attend events (like football games) with my new friend group if i have a much better time with them. I always felt out of place with my old friend group
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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lpXCKqZDxHRSyWNh6vrCCoMKopPAyDjy
|
aurztd
|
{
"description": "laughing at a sign that's meant to be a joke",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for laughing at a sign that's meant to be a joke
|
I went over a friend's house last week who is openly gay and we joke around with each other all the time. I noticed he had a new sign in his room that's said "when it hurts too much to stand, kneel". I then pointed it out and thought it had something to do with giving a blowjob. He just laughed at it and didn't say anything about my comment bothering him.
Today was the first time I texted him since then. Apparently he was mad at me and doesnt want to be friends anymore because he thinks I was mocking him. Now he says theres nothing I can do to fix it and I broke his trust. So I am the asshole for thinking the sign was a joke and pointing it out?
|
HISTORICAL
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NOBODY
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|
RIGHT
|
P5xjInnkjcmVzSzHjHURb057kfr5OASN
|
alwdp6
|
{
"description": "telling my husband to go no-contact with his former Bff",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for telling my husband to go no-contact with his former Bff
|
So no ones really mad bc my husband is an awesome and understanding man, but I don’t know if I’m wrong for encouraging him to leave this guy. F - friend H - Husband. So F has a history of being a general not-so-good person. He often lies and cheats others to get what he wants. Ex. Lying about wanting a relationship with a girl when he just wants sex, getting himself stranded in random places and forcing his friends to pay for an Uber etc, but, in H’s case, he was the only person who didn’t bully him in high school. They share a lot of the same humor and interests, so I let it go for the most part. But then F stole a very valuable thing off H (worth about $50, but to us starving college students it’s basically luxury). He then lied about it, deceived H so he could use it as long as he could, lied about losing it, then went back on everything and returned it. He has stolen small amounts of cash before. I’m worried he is using H and my relative wealth and he just wants to see what he can swipe and get away with. He doesn’t have a job, a diploma, and is on probation for drinking and heavy drug use as a teen(witch he could never convince H to do). I told H he should drop F as a friend, but H is very very forgiving and doesn’t want to lose a long time friend.( I should mention he has other friends and I have never asked him to drop a friend before despite disagreeing with some of his choices) AITA for heavily requesting he stop seeing this person? (I am okay with them continuing to be friends, it just bothers me a lot and I bring it up frequently.)
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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|
b9ny1w
|
{
"description": "not liking my sister's birthday gift",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for not liking my sister's birthday gift?
|
So a few years ago my sister (S) bought me a DVD set of a TV show called Gargoyles for my birthday. I used to be a fan of the show when I was a teenager, but interest faded as I got older. I went on Facebook to thank her and the conversation went something like this:
**Me**: Hey, just got your gift in the mail. I appreciate it!
**S**: You're welcome. I didn't know what else to get you and I remembered you used to watch that show a lot.
**Me**: Yeah, I did. Not so much now. But thanks anyway!
**S**: Wait... so, you don't like it anymore?
**Me:** Nah, not really, but it's the thought that counts, right?
**S**: I can't believe this! You're telling me I wasted my money? If you don't like it, pay me back what I spent on it!
**Me**: Wait... you're saying you want me to give you back the money... that you spent on my *birthday gift*?
**S**: Yes. It's not fair to make me pay for something you don't want.
**Me**: Well, I don't mind sending it back to you... but I'm not paying you anything.
**S**: I don't want it! Just refund me the money since my gift was wasted.
The conversation goes back and forth like this with both of us getting more and more frustrated with each other until I eventually just turn off the chat. We didn't speak to each other for a few weeks after that.
(**Edit**: I know that I opened the can of worms by saying 'thanks anyway' it's just that I didn't know how else to make it clear I was no longer into that show so she wouldn't get me Gargoyle related gifts again in the future)
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
u4fWiTKVPR4tAMJH0LdUZFvr6a3t83jy
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agdj3p
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{
"description": "calling out my \"friends\" for having get together memorializing a friend who was murdered",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for calling out my "friends" for having get together memorializing a friend who was murdered
|
Okay so the title probably makes me sound like a huge asshole. However my best friend was murdered 2 years ago on January 10th by another mutual friend, whom he lived with, over drugs and money. His body was not discovered for two days, January 12th. For the past two years my "friends" have decided to "honor" him by throwing a huge party on January 12th. I do not have a problem with this whatsoever, I think it's a good thing to have a get together and see everyone and remember our friend. The issue I do have is that this event always involves people doing lots of drugs and getting belligerently drunk. Which of course also leads to drama and fights at this event. I have said in the past multiple times that I think we should have a more formal event and make it more about our friend than the party. This year, I was not invited to the event, despite the fact that I was this person's best friend and that we spent nearly every day together for 4 years, we lived close to each other in the same small town. I was upset about this because there were tons of people invited who didn't even know or were friends with, our friend who passed. I have had no ill words with anyone in my friend group ever, I have been nothing but supportive of them and have always been there for them. I was very hurt by not being invited. I probably wouldn't have went anyway because I disagree with how they "honor" him, but in my eyes I feel like I was the only person excluded form the event. Even people they knew couldn't go or didn't want to go was invited, except for me. I was really upset with them and confronted them about it. I expressed that I felt that by memorializing him by using drugs and alcohol was not appropriate, considering he was killed over drugs, and using them in his name to honor him was disrespectful. I expressed that his parents would not want that, which I know them on a much more personal level than anyone at the party, since I spent a lot of time with them. I also expressed that if our friend knew his fate he would not want everyone to be using drugs. I also expressed that if they want to honor him then they need to make something of themselves, rather than indulge themselves on drugs and alcohol, and learn from our friend who passed mistakes because he doesn't have the choice to do that anymore. If he could speak now that's what he would want for us. After I told them this I was repetitively told I was "fucking retarded" I was a "dumbass" I was a total " judgement piece of shit" and that I better "watch my shit. After this I told them that I never wanted to be included or be a part of anything that involved them ever again. So this leads to my final question. Am I the Asshole? Because I have sure been made to feel that way.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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a6a258
| null |
AITA: invited friend to move in and live rent free in exchange for cleaning. Didn't like her reaction
|
So I posted earlier about a separate thing and some of this question background was in it. A lot of people ignored the question I was asking and responded to this issue instead, in ways that I hadnt realized that I might have been an asshole. So posting this to ask if I am. The previous thread is https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/a5zudl/aita_paid_friend_to_clean_house_with_certain/?utm_source=reddit-android
So my buddy Molly is very poor. She lives in an apartment with a roommate she doesnt like. Rent is so high that she cant agrees the co pays on her medications, so she doesnt take them. I live on a farm and have 5 bedrooms, so I said what the hell. I hate cleaning, she likes it. She likes my dogs and even my human aggressive ones are totally okay with her because she is here a few days a week. I invited her to live with me rent and utilities free in exchange for cleaning. At first she was like oh thank you so much, let me think about it. And then the hemming and hawing started. "The internet is bad and I love video games, you should buy a satellite dish" "I want friends over often and you require notice ahead of time and dont want people here". I understood her reasoning, but the way she kept on about it just made me feel like she was annoyed at me for it. To add to that, she dragged this on for the past month. Whenever I would ask, because there are things I have to handle to have her move in and I need notice, she would say she is stressed out and doesnt qant to think or make plans and she would "let me know when she would be ready to move."
I rescinded the invite yesterday due to an issue of her inviting someone into my house that I had finely stated wasnt allowed there. But I'm wondering, am I the asshole here for being annoyed and feeling like she's stringing me up?
Note: I never expressed my annoyance beyond "you need to tell me your plans because I have a life too and need to factor in what's happening. You arent the only one stressed here."
Also, I have 2 friends begging to move in with their dogs. I understand country life isn't for everyone, but I wasnt inviting her to live in a hovel, this is a gorgeous place.
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
|
48bRBNlaJYipy6qcHM50Fx37Psfh1ERj
|
auwfx6
|
{
"description": "being mad at my boyfriend for proposing with his mother's ring",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 109
}
|
AITA for being mad at my(29f) boyfriend(28m) for proposing with his mother's ring?
|
First I just want to say that I'm not the kind of person who demands expensive gifts but we do gift each other a lot of things.
I and my boyfriend have been together for 10 years. We live together, and we have a 4yo daughter. I was waiting forever for him to propose. So I was really excited when my sister told me that my boyfriend asked her which kind of ring would suit me and he sent her some pics from Tiffany's. I was super excited and hyped and I kind of guessed that he wanted to propose on our anniversary.
The day comes and I'm really excited. We went out for a romantic dinner, got back and when we were watching a movie he suddenly got down on his knees and asked me if I wanted to marry him. I said yes and then he showed me the ring. It was not even a new one. It looked old and the stones looked average at best. When I asked him about that he told me that his mother gave him her ring. He told me that it had a great sentimental value since his father was the only man his mother ever truly loved. His father is no more, and his mother gave it to him.
It's all sweet and cheesy but it doesn't look great. Also, I don't want the begining of my new life to start with a second hand ring. When I told him this, he was very upset and told me that he never thought I was so materialistic and he just left. He's not even answering any of my messages or calls. Was I wrong? AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
{
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|
WRONG
|
TsihDyLCZqodkDaXnGcw1nHHnrMK1ouR
|
b4t1wd
|
{
"description": "thinking people advertising their business by using their race as part of the description is weird",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for thinking people advertising their business by using their race as part of the description is WEIRD?
|
Genuinely want some opinions as I’m confused about what i really feel about this.
So i was on instagram a lot recently and came across 8 business pages in the past 5 days that, along with listing their opening hours, specialisation, and other information, they also added “Black owned”.
I thought about why a customer would care about this info, particularly a black customer (because i suspect this was for their benefit more than anyone else) and a couple of reasons came to mind, all of which felt discriminatory.
Another thing that came to mind was whether other businesses had ever declared themselves to be “White owned”, or “Asian owned”, or anything else, even something like “Gay owned” etc.
It feels weird if I’m being honest. And, as long as I am being honest, i feel that if someone put “White owned” on their business page, this may create problems.
I’m not quite sure how to put how i feel exactly in to words at this point, because well, I’m not completely sure tbh. But I do feel that theres something not quite right. FYI I am not white or black. I’m asian.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
|
FHX0uBpSjXg4GCxaG55RCKO0uDWZwMkj
|
asi80q
|
{
"description": "getting mad at the girl who says my name wrong",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for getting mad at the girl who says my name wrong?
|
So I’m of Hispanic descent and my name reflects that. It’s a 4 syllable name and has a heavy accent and rolled “r”s. This makes it very difficult for English speakers to say correctly. To get around this I go by a nickname. My nicknames, while certainly unique, is only 2 syllables and requires no accents or special pronunciations. It’s an easy name to say. Let me also add I love my name, both my name and nickname. My name is a hand me down name from my great aunt who died in Mexico when she was 5. My nickname came about after I was first introduced to my older cousin.
Onto the story, this is my second semester away at university. I took all 8am classes this semester and I always find it easier to get up for classes when I’m going to breakfast with a friend. With that in mind I accepted when a girl who lives on my hall invited me to go to breakfast with her everyday. I said yes.
So I’ve been going to breakfast everyday with this girl for over a month, and we’ve known each other for six months. A few weeks ago I realized it wasn’t just her lisp when she said my name, she didn’t know my fucking name! What the actual fuck? She’s heard my name, my name is written on my door, and did I mention WE’VE KNOWN EACH OTHER SIX MONTHS?!
So I corrected her kindly the first time.
Then she did it again a few days later. I was a bit annoyed but corrected her again.
Then today, she did it again! It’s not even a real name she keeps calling me! It’s a totally made up name. I got frustrated and didn’t sit with her at breakfast. When she tried to sit with me I politely told her “not today, thanks”. I know I hurt her feelings but we’ve had this conversation over and over and it’s crossed from forgetful to disrespectful.
But what do you think? Am I over reacting here? Or is she just not listening to me?
Edit:
We’ve gone over the pronunciation of my name multiple times. She can say it, she knows it, she has a very slight lisp that probably has more to do with her retainer than anything else, she does not have a hearing issue. I didn’t ghost her, I met her in the cafeteria and when I walked in she said my name wrong. It was 7am I was tired and frustrated. I went and sat alone. When she went to join me I said “not today, thanks” to her face. I wasn’t hostile or rude in tone. I messaged her after breakfast and asked her to please work on saying my name properly as her not knowing it after six months was hurtful.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
0c6NTgDfYNuUZFrn0uJk84lcX2lfxR94
|
aad4i7
|
{
"description": "running away from my family and trying to cut contact",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for running away from my family and trying to cut contact?
|
So I've been abused for almost all my life by my family, living in the Middle East. I was born and raised there. I've run away about 2 and a half months ago to live with my boyfriend and his family, who are now almost my family in-law since we're now engaged.
My mom has stalked me and his family, threatening us and saying that I have ruined my younger sister's chances of marriage in the Middle East and that I have disgraced my family because I choose to marry an American who is Mormon and not a rich Arab Muslim with a respectable family name. That I have slandered my family name. She continues to make threats to cut off the rest of my family from me (I love them very much) and spreads gossip about me saying that I am the abusive one and manipulative one.
I suffer from C-PTSD due to her sexual, mental and physical abuse of me. My sisters claim that I abandoned them and that I should have stayed and taken the hits for them.
I've reached a breaking point and feel like exploding and just cutting off contact and sneaking to see the rest of my extended family in secret without my mom knowing. But this guilt stays inside of me saying that my mom loves me and that I'm an asshole for disobeying and for running away and to go home and just get my mom's approval.
Am I the asshole like my guilt says I am? Or was I just conditioned to always blame myself whenever I just wanna live my life?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
NFaT6wyjWjAdl4ltv7W8g4qh5xq6jdpe
|
9wluls
|
{
"description": "ending my friendship with one of my friends",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for ending my friendship with one of my friends?
|
I had known a guy for about a year through various programs and summer camps and had become really good friends. We shared multiple interests and hobbies so we naturally got along.
Here’s the part where it went downhill. So we both go to a summer camp every year, that’s where I met him. So a year after meeting him, we’re back at the summer camp. He keeps telling me about all these issues with school and his friends, saying nobody wants to talk to him, he has no friends, etc. So naturally I listen and put my input in and try to hear him out, but I keep thinking back to all the times I’ve hear him brag about how he’s super popular and everyone in the school is friends with him. So I don’t know how I feel about what he said. Moving on, later into the camp he ended up getting a super minor head injury, basically he fell 2 feet off a hammock (I measured the distance). He goes to get it checked out and just keeps talking about how he needs to leave and that he’s got a concussion. Now past this point I’m being filled in on details by my other friends but what presumably happened is that, because his parents wouldn’t take him home for his “concussion” he decided to say he was *killing himself*. He went around with a rope on his neck saying he didn’t want to be alive, and later said “I don’t care about anything, as long as I’m dying I’m happy”. There were a couple more minor incidents too, but that’s the main story?
Am I the asshole for thinking he’s lying and looking for attention? I genuinely can’t believe him.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
hVQ4oetabkgDsK01C69c3VM5ahEDopaZ
|
afz00q
|
{
"description": "hating the way my friend acts",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for hating the way my friend acts?
|
One of my friends has been pissing me off lately. It's mostly the way she acts. She talks about her depression and anxiety way too often, incorporating the topic into random conversations. She also is very clingy and.. affectionate? In a way. She tends to be touchy. She also talks as though she knows more than everyone around her. She calls me "honey" and she occasionally speaks with a baby voice, which is a huge pet peevesm of mine. I get a little harsh with her sometimes, criticizing her, and sometimes complaining about her to my parents or behind her back. I just wanna know if I'm an asshole for this so I can apologise to her if I need to.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
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|
WRONG
|
i1G2WnwHCfK740WKpwYjXGdcDLmtNloV
|
ayk2mo
|
{
"description": "not wanting to be dumped on anytime I enter a room",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to be dumped on anytime I enter a room?
|
I get it, you're going through a lot, but I am too and the world doesn't revolve around you.
AITA for just not wanting to be vented to, dumped on, etc immediately upon entering a room? I don't do anything, I simply exist in space and it feels like I'm supposed to hold everyone's emotions.
How do I voice this in a constructive way without sounding like, "I don't want to hear your shit."
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
DeT6figouBIzXkSzW7grM8fvxszbxpzL
|
an140u
|
{
"description": "yelling at a girl for taunting my dog",
"pronormative_score": 60,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for yelling at a girl for taunting my dog
|
First off, I'd like to apologize for possible bad grammar, for I am on mobile.
My birthday was a couple weeks ago and I was allowed to throw a party for the first time since I was 10. My parents put a 10 person limit on attendees; I thought it was fine since I don't have many friends anyway. However, while inviting my friend, Zafrin, a girl we'll call A heard and thought she had been invited. I didn't want to be rude, so I didn't correct her. I just simply told my parents that an extra person would come and they didn't seem to mind.
Some background information, A is the richest girl I know and the most spoiled. Her house is double the size of mine and she buys 2 lunches everyday along with the one she packs. She also loves the fact that she is in higher math class than me despite me not wanting to go higher math class and having the grades to. One memorable quote is when I tried to help her on homework she looked confused on, she told me "The math is a little too complicated for you, I doubt you'll get any answers right." I found out later I was right on most the questions. Despite her spoiled lifestyle, her mom won't let get her a dog for some reason, so when she met my dog, Tank (he is a black lab who is around 6 feet when he stands) she was excited. She immediately started calling him, "my doggie" which I was kinda annoyed with but wasn't vocal. I recall making a joke, "You call him your dog when you pick up his vomit."
When the other guest arrived we all decided to so bad karaoke ( singing off key to songs we found funny, it's really fun) A wasn't very pleased, she told us that the songs sucked, missing the point of the game. During Mine Diamonds, I realized she had finished her pizza besides her crust. I told her she give it to Tank because if she throws it a way he'll just dig through the trash. At first, she sticks her arm out horizontally making Tank see her. He starts to walk towards her and she then starts walking in circles, making sure he is following. I see this and tell her not to taunt him because he has arthritis and we don't like putting pressure on him for too long. She would do it again until I corrected her, once more and repeat. I thought on the 10th time she understood and stopped taunting him. However within a second she is standing on top of a chair and counting to taunt him. My dog jumps and starts to make yelps in pain. At this point, I was really upset and grabbed the crust from her hands and gave it to Tank. I immediately told her, "Don't touch my dog and actually listen to me or else you might hurt him. Is that really too complicated or is math the only thing you can do." She immediately looked like she was about to cry; I realized I said I was sorry and it just blurted out. She forgave me but some people have been calling me an asshole. So I wanted more opinions.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 60,
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
pCh7zh3ysXmOwC6AsySrQyUV0n5v4K29
|
b2q943
|
{
"description": "not wanting to go on a Disney world trip my mum paid for",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For not wanting to go on a Disney world trip my mum paid for
|
My mum and dad have a rental property in Florida which they visit regularly to do repairs and upkeep. I've been lucky enough to go to Florida about 14 times in my life. My mum is addicted to Disney world and goes on about how she wants me, my girlfriend and my brother to go constantly. She even saved up the money to pay for us to go without asking if we wanted to. I'm 24 and at the point where I want to do other things with my life. I want to travel to so many places around the world and go to many countries and eventually buy a house. I told my mum that I didn't want to go to Florida as I wanted to travel to other places while I don't have any obligations like kids in my life. She began to cry and cry and basically said I was ungreatful as im getting a free holiday. I tried to explain that I still want to go but maybe at a latter date but she doesn't really get it. Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
JmpepQCzcrXNTV0vFyqOVlfqYStmT42O
|
apyh6o
|
{
"description": "getting angry at my boyfriend for being mean and judgemental",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for getting angry at my boyfriend for being mean and judgemental?
|
I initially wrote a very long backstory, but realised that you probably didn't want to read that much, so I tried summarizing it.
Me and my boyfriend have been in a relationship for 1 year and 2 months. Half long distance half not. Started out not long distance. After the first three weeks of us dating, I cheated on him. (I acknowledge this makes the asshole scale lean my way entirely). There's actually a lot more to the story, but that's the important part. Obviously I've regretted it massively and he did not deserve it. I wish every day I could've taken it back. (If anyone does want to know the full story you may PM me). Understandably, he was very angry at me at the start, which frankly never really went away.
On top of this, the men I've slept with before him (3) have all been of different races. I'm white myself. He's a good guy, but he's got an ego and can be quite racist. He says that the fact I've been with these other races and I thus, must have very low standards, bothers him, because "it brings him to that level too" and he feels embarrassed of it. During our entire relationship, I've had to endure a LOT of judgement from him. If not about the cheating incident, about who I was with before him. I admit I have very low self esteem and perhaps have settled for men, thinking no one else would be interested, so I am fairly embarrassed of it. Admittedly I wasn't before I met him, because I didn't have the prejudices of these races, but I've realised that I perhaps was a bit desperate back then.
Comments I receive from him to this day, range from (after me saying there weren't any good looking people in the office I work at, after he asked) "I wonder what they must look like then, considering your low standards" to (when I mentioned something that was gross, a toilet or something) "You found that gross? But you fucked an *insert race here*" or to way worse during an argument. Both of which were completely uncalled for at that instance. I tell him over and over how I hate the way he talks to me, it feels very disrespectful and judgemental.
His reasoning often leads back to how I hurt him with the cheating incident and how he gets triggered because of that and then takes it out on me. I have tried to be understanding, but it makes me feel terrible every time it happens. Now here's where I ask..
Am I the asshole for getting angry at him for saying these things to me? Am I the asshole for thinking that, after one year, he can't still use the hurt from the cheating incident as an excuse for saying (unrelated) mean things to me?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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|
9wirca
|
{
"description": "I get annoying when going through this job application process only to get this email in response 3 weeks later",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA if I get annoyed when going through this job application process only to get this email in response 3 weeks later??
|
Backstory: I have been talking to a business offering a job for 1 month now. Had the Skype interview on October
_________________________
MY EMAIL 3 WEEKS AFTER THE SKYPE INTERVIEW (it went very well btw):
Hi (HR worker),
Is there any update on the position?
I sent an email last Monday and I am not sure if you received it. Please let me know.
Thank you,
(Signed, My name)
_______________________
HER RESPONSE:
I don’t believe I received an email. (It was sent, we had been replying to each other multiple times through this email) At this time we have filled one of two internship positions leaving a part-time opening. Do you think it is worth your investment to relocate for a part-time position?
Thank you,
(Signed, her name)
______________________________
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"EVERYBODY": 0,
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OTHER
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{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
tkex0MxtTAdqiavIg4BmVNxKyxImHOne
|
b8vp8x
|
{
"description": "resenting having to cancel my holiday to look after my grandchildren",
"pronormative_score": 62,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for resenting having to cancel my holiday to look after my grandchildren?
|
My daughter and two young grandchildren live in my home with my husband and me. I have given them the larger part of the house and my husband and I live in the granny flat. I don't charge rent and pay for all the food. My husband takes the children to school and picks them up to save my daughter any childcare fees.
My daughter's ex partner is very verbally abusive and has decided that he will not watch the children for three days during the summer to allow my husband and I to go on holiday. My daughter is unable to get time off work to look after them.
I have suggested that I pay to have the children put into out of school care for the three days, but my daughter is reluctant to do this. My husband suggested that she takes 3 days sick leave if she is unwilling to put the children into out of school care, but she was furious at this suggestion as it would prevent her from applying for promotion.
AITA for resenting having to cancel my holiday to look after my grandchildren?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 59,
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OTHER
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{
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RIGHT
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a5ju0v
|
{
"description": "wanting my party to speak quieter/not swear so loud in public",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting my party to speak quieter/not swear so loud in public?
|
I find whenever I'm out in public with a group of people, I'm always asking people to talk quieter and not shout swear words for everyone in the restaurant to hear. Maybe it seems louder to me and no one else can hear it but it feels more considerate to keep our conversations only within earshot of the table. I feel like an asshole telling people to quiet down though.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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qZwVQqp8yFDpyWA7zvWYKsFJ9aMY4qOq
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auqlyu
| null |
AITA, Girl hates hates me because i decided to get back with my ex
|
Hey so I'll try and give much detail as possible. So back in October I had been single for about a month after leaving a relationship of one year. It was a fairly mutual breakup and we stayed on good terms. This was about the time I met R, i met her at a Halloween party and we hit it off fairly well. For the next couple of months we hung out a few times and went on a couple of dates however we both decided we didn't want to be in a relationship but be exclusive. This is when my ex gets back into the picture. We started talking again and the subject came up about potentially getting back together as we still had feelings for each other. I decided this is what I wanted so I sat R down and explained the situation. She was understandably upset and wanted to remain friends. I was cool with this as I thought she was a decent person and a laugh. Since then I've seen her a couple of times as part of a group and once for coffee and it was ok. She would make little jabs at me about my relationship and people going back to their ex, which I ignored. She expressed how she felt I was in the wrong for choosing my gf over her. Again I ignored it. It reached the point where every time I spoke to her she was moody and was passive aggressive so I didn't make as much effort to stay in contact and whenever she did message me I could be quite blunt and to the point. Here comes the asshole part. My friend who is neighbours with R asked if I wanted to come round and I said yes and asked if my gf could come with. No reply. No Biggie, I let it go. A couple days later I get a text message from R about how disrespectful I am being by inviting my gf near her home and how I'm a bad friend and need to learn to respect other people. She made a point about how it's difficult for her to get over me and that seeing me with someone else would be difficult, I've known her for 4 months. She said that I only go to people when I need something, which according to other people in my life when I asked them, isn't true. She ended our friendship. Honestly I was relieved as she wasn't fun to be around or make plans with anymore. Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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b3orx6
| null |
AITA Started dating peer's Girlfriend shorty after breakup. However, people have started making threats without knowing the full story.
|
So, the drama started not long ago. I started getting close with, at the time a peers girlfriend. I started having feelings for the girl in question. I did not act upon my feelings.
After a few weeks she had broken up with her boyfriend. Shortly after, I found out she had feelings for me as well through one of her friends. We started dating a week after they had broken up. We were keeping everything on the down low, people started asking questions however and we decided not to hide it anymore, still considering what we did around certain people however.
The girl in question had lost feelings for her ex a few months back. However, given the perspective of people looking in it does look like an inconsiderate move on my part.
Given this information, the friends of the ex have begun to "throw shade" and have verbally said to some of my close friends that they are thinking of "slashing the tires on my car" and "bashing me".
The ex himself has said he "feels like a new man" and has "moved on" from the relationship. My worry is not him as such but the trouble his friends are causing.
Both me, and the girl in question have talked extensively on the subject matter and tried to make the transition as seamless as possible. We were hoping that the people around us were a lot more mature then they were, oh how wrong we were. We assumed people would at least mind their own business or at the very least, ask what actually happened. None of which is the case.
My question to you then is, Am I The Asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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|
avm4pn
|
{
"description": "not wanting my moms boyfriend to sleepover while I'm having a sleepover",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting my moms boyfriend to sleepover while I’m having a sleepover?
|
*PLEASE READ*
Backstory:
It has always been my mother and I for as long as I can remember, my father was abusive. August 2018, she started dating him and every weekend since they’ve seen each other. It’s come to the point, where he sleeps over two nights a week. ( of course when I asked her not have him overnight my request was deemed “manipulative” mostly because it didn’t match hers and was overridden) (to be quite honest their relationship has put me in a bad mental state, I feel so alone ) I’ve put up a fight and pleaded with her, but it didn’t work and now we are where we are.
So February 27th is my birthday, I had a family dinner and birthday party. I asked him not to come to any, but no. Even though, my therapist said it would be best that he would only come to one of them, but my mom refused. March 1st is my birthday party. I don’t have many friends as I’ve got social anxiety and find it hard to make friends. The friends that I didn’t invited backed out all but one. So I asked my mom if the person coming to my party could sleep over and she said yes. And then asked if her boyfriend could not sleep over that Saturday (ONE DAY OUT OF TWO) and she said “no we would talk about it when she got home.” I knew what was going to happen as it happened when I asked if he could only go to one of the events, she would come home and argue about it and the result would still be in her favor.
So I went to her boyfriend and asked if couldn’t have to stay the night. He is very understanding and nice. He got me a cockatiel after my bird died and a bike for my birthday. I don’t have a problem with him. He said “No problem”
When my mom found out she was furious.
I don’t really know anymore. I know I shouldn’t of asked him, but it’s supposed to be my night. Its my birthday party after all and it’s just one night. She’s controlling everything, all the guest are her friends and Im only bringing one. Every time I ask someone I know in real life, they say I should be happy for my mother. I’m really looking for your answers please answer, while writing this I’m crying and holding my cat. It’s helped calm me down, it’s weird I know but sometime I feel my cats the only one that loves me %100 and is the only person that would never screw me over
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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{
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RIGHT
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oc8KrtbwC0bcnp9x7wMjZDmHeQcyC7Ek
|
anvs0i
|
{
"description": "wanting to cut out one of my best friends",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to cut out one of my best friends?
|
Before getting into this I want to say that I love my best friend with all of my heart and it truly is hurting me to do this so I need to know if I'm doing the right thing.
I met her 5 years ago when we were on the high school drill team together, she was a freshman and I was a sophomore so there's already a small age difference. Anyways we clicked really fast and were almost the same person, hanging out every day, always having fun, getting into trouble, normal high school stuff because we're teenagers right? It wasn't until she finally graduated and the first incident happened that I started to see that she wasn't, what I perceive to be, a good friend.
So she introduces me to her friend who she has known since childhood, we'll call him Jake, and I start to really like him. Him and I talk for a bit but he's going to college in another state so it fades pretty fast. During the summer Jake is back in town and my best friend and I head over to his place to hang out with his friends too. At this time my best friend already has a guy she's been seeing so when Jake and I start flirting and catching up she just encourages me. A few weeks go by and Jake and I are talking just about everyday but nothing too serious, I tell my best friend this and I'm all giddy because he's just so cute and so funny blah blah blah. Well something happens with the guy she's been seeing and he breaks things off with her. She really liked this guy and so she's absolutely distraught and ends up going to Jake's house and they fool around. The very next day she comes over and tells me everything and apologizes profusely. I get understandably upset but after a few days we talk it out and I decide it's not worth losing our friendship over, him and I were never anything official or serious but she did know how I felt about him. Overall my decision to forgive her.
I think this will be the only time this ever happens but I'm wrong. A year later we work together so we have a lot of the same acquaintances. One of my guy friends brings over his best friend who we'll call Aaron. I meet Aaron before my best friend does so while we are hanging out I'm texting her about this guy saying how cute he is and I really like him. No surprise when she finally meets him, he likes her instead. But her and I make an agreement that since I have a crush on him it would be wrong for her to go for it. Well you can guess what happens here, anytime we hangout he's always next to her, sitting with her, even cuddling her in my own house in front of me. She blatantly tells me how he's always facetiming her and texting her and snapping her meanwhile he rarely responds to me. Eventually she gets bored of him because he's got a lot of issues so she starts ignoring his texts and such and I'm left trying to explain to him what happened meanwhile I know I dodged a bullet because he really was a bit crazy. Either way I pretended none of it bothered me because I thought it's just a boy why would I let that come between our friendship. But the more I thought about it the more it wasn't sitting well with me.
This is when I start to notice that she kind of takes advantage of how easy going I am. Little things start to pile up and I notice overall these few things.
1. Anytime we go out to eat (which is often) I am always the one who's expected to pay. Even if it is her idea to go eat or she says "I'm hungry I wanna eat here" I end up paying because she doesn't have money. I usually joke around and call myself her sugar mama but overall I'm kind of getting tired of it and I've mentioned it to her before.
2. I have gotten her 2 jobs and she's been fired from both of them due to her lack of proper work ethic. This not only looks bad on me because I recommended her, but now if any of my other friends need a job, they wont be taken into consideration.
3. Anytime she gets a new boyfriend or love interest nothing else matters. She literally drops off the face of the earth until she wants to hangout with me because either they broke up or he's busy. I've never done that to her and even when I have a boyfriend I always make time for my friends because that's what you do.
I haven't seen her in 3 months and every time she makes plans she bails the day of to be with her current boyfriend. Neither of them work or go to school and they live together at her parents house. It was her birthday last week and we made plans to go to this party to finally see each other and lo' and behold, she cancels on me to hang out with her boyfriend. This time, I snap. I finally tell her after thinking about it I've decided I don't want to be her friend anymore. We get in this big long talk and she's begging me not to cut her out saying she's sorry she wants to fix these things, I'm her other half and she can't lose me. I tell her I'm sorry and I love her and even though we have had more positives in our friendship than negatives, the negatives simply outweigh the positives in this situation. I tell her I hope she grows and matures and really if she does I hope we can reconnect but as of now she's not being respectful to my time and my feelings and I'm tired of it.
So reddit please, AITA? Or am I making the right choice for myself.
&#x200B;
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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a7ozt1SfrmnA0UW0u8OJhYqpyCTUd89B
|
b8ppjw
|
{
"description": "not making my friend leave my apartment once the guy he was replacing decided he didn't want to leave",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not making my friend leave my apartment once the guy he was replacing decided he didn't want to leave?
|
I'm currently in college and living in a 5 person apartment with friends that I have known for multiple years. We have a co-op program at our college so we have to change who is living in the apartment based on who leaves each semester. One of my friends, John, decided last semester that he was going to get a co-op out of state, meaning that his room would need to be filled, or a random person would be placed into it. I knew a friend, Derek, who had met my current roommates a couple times and was looking for housing for the next semester, so I told him about it. Derek was very happy to live with people that he knew as he had lived with random roommates for his first 2 years of college. The other 3 roommates were happy that they were not getting a random roommate.
Fast forward 3 months, John has now gotten an offer for a co-op near our apartment and decides that he would like to stay. I tell him that I have another friend, George, who is looking for a roommate to live with in a double. John says that he would like to stay in his own room. The problem is that Derek has already signed his lease and would need to tell the leasing department that John can stay in his room, and Derek would be okay with either living with random roommates again, or with George, who he doesn't know, and the double would have higher rent. John told Derek that he would like to stay in his room, to which Derek replied with "I'm sorry, but no, I've already signed my lease and paid my deposit. I'm not going to be living with random roommates again." Now my roommates are upset with me that I didn't try to influence Derek in any way by telling him that they wouldn't be happy with him living here, as he is the reason that John can't stay. Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
xniGAIFci14jseFyxjkXia4wAmbOglG0
|
a8fytx
|
{
"description": "banning and blocking this girl",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for banning and blocking this girl?
|
This is more of an online problem but one that's been going on for almost a year now. Throwaway because my main is recognizable. And sorry for potential formatting, mobile.
So there was this girl on this Discord server who was okay way in the beginning (two years ago). She made a few odd comments here and there, and eventually, just got downright creepy. She'd often talk about this underage character losing her virginity to older men due to rape (not canon), and in other sexual situations, and was told repeatedly to tone it down.
Then, I came out as transgender (something that has been an on going thing), and she got argumentative. Asked if I was a confused butch, the lefties "corrupted" me, etc. I gave her a warning to stop and thankfully she did.
We had a few people from certain countries join she doesn't like (because political issues of a country she's interested in has--an American who is a nationalist for a country she has no ties to), so she would go out of her way to criticize them and argue with them. Over nothing. And claimed that Greece (yes, Greece) was up to something nefarious because they come first in the Olympics. Anyone who disagrees with her reads propaganda. She spent a good hour, I guess, bashing the country (I wasn't online and neither were the mods).
This turns into a big issue so I stepped in, told her to knock it off. Told her she's on a final warning and if she doesn't quit, she's banned. She tries to start an argument a little later on about inactivity (we're mostly exhausted adults who have kids or school). I give her a mute. She blames her period.
My breaking point in banning her was when I opened up requests and commissions for writing. I laid out, as I usually do, what I will/won't do. Two of these: major age difference and rape.
She requests specifically those two things. I decline and offer something else. She gets mad, accuses me of playing favorites, I'm a sensitive SJW and she should be allowed to talk about rape regardless of if it's triggering. I'm just "oppressive".
So, she has her little tirade and I banned her. I informed her she's been banned and come back within a month to see. Three days later, she writes out a suicide note, creates a new Discord account and links it. The note blames me.
She's banned, I blocked her. She harasses my friends and mods, constantly misgenders me, says that I'm ableist because she has autism (did not know this), says that "I'm too sensitive" and she should have realized "I wasn't ready for such mature things" (it's no secret I was raped), etc.
And she began to tag me and link me anti-transgender things, "studies" on tumblr, I block and report her every time. She's recently claiming I'm harassing her and one of her friends is spying on me. All I've done? Block any accounts that are related to her that pop up in my notifications, moved certain accounts elsewhere, left the mutual interest, etc.
My friend explained to me that she has autism, so some of her behavior can't be helped but that feels like an excuse? I have my own behaviorial issues and I try to keep them in check (I do have my days where I get snappy and a little paranoid but I try to talk it out in a healthier manner, etc).
AITA? Are we both? This feels stupid tbh.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
q3mQmGczjOR3tycNDICwq6vqh0fDZyNT
|
aync65
|
{
"description": "not tipping my ppstmates driver",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for not tipping my ppstmates driver?
|
I know it sounds bad but hear me out. Obligatory apology for being on mobile.
So I live in a fairly small apartment complex that has one entrance and one road. When you enter th one road will loop around the entire complex and spit you out the same way you came in.
In the comments section for extra delivery instructions I've put: " After entering the complex take a right turn, soon the road will force you to take a left turn. After that left turn my building will be the second building on the right.(BLDG 7; APT 10)"
I've ordered food twice and each time the driver hasn't been able to find my apartment. When this happens they call me and have me wait outside while they drive around looking for me. The last time I waited 5 minutes for him to come around. I don't mind waiting but when you keep in mind that my apartment complex is small and it only takes about a minute or two max to drive all the way around the loop means that there's a good chance he called me before he even got inside the complex and had me wait outside.
I tipped the first guy who delivered food but not the second. Now after thinking about it I've decided that in the future I'll only tip my driver when they can at least locate my building. Especially since I gave them -what I believe to be- good instructions.
So AITA or WIBTA if I follow that new rule for only tipping if they call me once they're outside my building and then I come down to get it. Or am I socially obligated to tip even though they make me wait for them when I've given them instructions?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
BMpivPppztXtDBbjBcLCjL4UOvaoC8lB
|
ajb2e4
|
{
"description": "ghosting a penpal with mental health issues",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for ghosting a penpal with mental health issues?
|
Little bit of background, joined a site maybe July last year? Putting up an ad with my email wanting to learn more about worldwide cultures and just generally find it interesting meeting new people. I stopped using it around September because I just ended up getting weird requests from older men which wasn’t what I was after at all (I knew it was a risk from the start)
I’m from the UK (23F) then around beginning of this month someone else from the uk (21F) we had a really nice conversation just about general life, films etc so we ended up exchanging numbers - seemed legit and non weird. She mentioned she suffered from anxiety and doesn’t really have any friends other than her cousins who she’s close with. She said she found friendship in me and I was easy to talk to (I’m pretty down to earth so I get that) this was nice...
All went well until last week when she began messaging me about her neighbour (67M) about she woke up after a party with him at her feet (holes ripped in her tights by her toes and her shoes removed). I mentioned how that was weird, she then always spoke about feet and him, “winding him up” for his birthday with a voucher for “a hand job and spanking”. I said what if he actually cashes these in? She said “I can’t let the birthday boy down” - I let it be, hey who am I to judge about her sex life. You do you hun.
Then things got really weird when she said how she wanted to give the same vouchers to her step dad but including other things like face sitting. I started to feel uncomfortable and she continued saying how “when I visit her” (this was never discussed or arranged) Her step dad will be my foot slave. She also has another penpal (37M) who she kept referring too, when she said about all four of us having a sexual time together.
I just stopped replying. I couldn’t take anymore, it made me feel uncomfortable. No matter how many times I kept mentioning my boyfriend and how I’m not into any of this. Trying to get the conversation back on track to the previous nice conversations but she’d always turn it back into this. I ghosted her and it’s been 3 days. I get relentless emails and messages until this morning when I got one saying
“Hi (37 M penpal) & (me) - delete my number, I’m having mental health problems and can’t deal with this world anymore”
Am I the asshole for leaving someone who needed help because she made me feel uncomfortable?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
0A3UgulwyKsr9FXBCh4hCUrQpinKzZjI
|
9wu45i
|
{
"description": "not participating in a lock down drill",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not participating in a lock down drill?
|
Today, my college had a lock down drill. They didn't tell us what time the drill would be, just that it would be today. I hate lock down drills with a dying passion. I hate being herded like cattle to a room with no windows that I can't escape. I hate feeling like i'm in elementary school again. I think lock down drills are degrading and I hate them. I'm an adult and I feel like I should get a choice. So I planned to sit in my car during the drill.
The drill happened at noon. In between my 10:30AM and 12:15 class. So I walked out the front door towards my car. On the way to my car I was confronted by what seemed like a barrage of security staff and quality of life management members telling me to go back to room whatever. To which I said "no thank you." I didn't get in trouble or anything, but it seemed like the staff members were pretty peeved that no one was taking it seriously. They even sent out a strongly worded email informing us that we should be taking the drills way more seriously.
I feel like I know what to do if there were an actual school shooter. I do feel moderately bad for whatever staff members were being graded on the performance of the school. But I still feel like I did nothing wrong because, as I said to the staff, "I'm an adult, no thank you."
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 4,
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
7mfndxjA98FrqY64hQJs96Zb3Fqjhr1n
|
b3g8dx
|
{
"description": "airing an abuser's \"dirty laundry\" so their partner could see it",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for airing an abuser’s “dirty laundry” so their partner could see it? (NSFW)
|
Throwaway for privacy.
This is an old story from when I was in a friends-with-benefits relationship with a guy who turned out to be an abusive prick, but he’s not the one in the title. I’ll call him A. The title refers to his ex-girlfriend. I’ll call her B. (I’m a guy, btw.)
Backstory: The way I got involved with my ex-FWB was very wrong; he cheated on B with me. Theirs was an open relationship, and I was attracted to A, so I thought, “Why not?” They had limits—his ex was okay with manual stimulation: oral and penetrative sex were off-limits. We went further than that. (B was a childhood friend of mine, which makes it worse IMO.) I fully realize I’m 50% the asshole (50% because it takes two to tango) in that scenario &amp; I cannot even fathom cheating ever again, and I haven’t.
After I confessed to B that we had cheated (I needed to tell her the truth; I hate lying and felt awful for her), she and A had a constant on-and-off-again relationship.
Their relationship was toxic even before A cheated; they were very codependent. (I’m talking “B posted an old video of them kissing on her public Instagram the day after they broke up the first time, saying she hated life without him and that she was crying &amp; A replied in a similar manner” codependency.) B was verbally &amp; psychologically abusive, whereas A was mostly psychologically abusive (manipulation and gaslighting—he did the same to me &amp; took advantage of my mental illness to convince me that I was delusional).
B would text me often. She has a traumatic past &amp; tends to masochistically engage with people who have hurt her, so I tried to minimize contact as much as possible once I realized this. She shared intimate details with me, including that she was in love with this guy she called her “muse” and considering moving in with him. She later had sex with him. This was during a time when she was back together with A.
I was still into A (hadn’t realized he was toxic yet), so when B dumped him &amp; made him promise to never talk to me again (threatening him with punishment if he contacted me or I contacted him) since “she didn’t want him to move on, especially with me,” I flew off the handle and said she was controlling him &amp; had no right—especially since they were broken up. I went to bed fuming.
The next day, I shared everything on social media she’d told me not to tell A, since he followed me &amp; if I contacted him directly he’d be punished (plus I was pissed). I didn’t include insults in the post; her actions spoke for themselves. I admitted that I had cheated in the post as well.
B then blamed me for her heroin relapse (I shit you not), amongst other awful things. She moved away shortly thereafter, &amp; I cut off A a few months later.
AITA for exposing her publicly? At the time, A called it immature, but everyone who saw the situation firsthand supported my actions. I’m kinda expecting an ESH response but I really want to see the nuance of all your answers.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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EVERYBODY
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|
WRONG
|
tTJ3pipkNjv0TOjl2yxXY6fUjyQ0bq55
|
axbyg2
|
{
"description": "splitting the cost of dates",
"pronormative_score": 39,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA for splitting the cost of dates?
|
My girlfriend and I recently got into a huge argument about paying for dates. She thinks that because I make more money I should pay for all of our dates and I think that because we do things that are usually free or cheap, like under $20 per person, that we should split the bill.
She thinks this is stupid and called me cheap. She said that if I loved her than I should pay for everything since I make five times more than her.
When there is a special event that we both would like to go to but she can't afford it, I have zero problem with paying for. But I think for everyday stuff like dinners, movies, drinks etc we can both pay our own bill.
Am I totally out of line? Should I pay for everything all the time?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 38,
"EVERYBODY": 6,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 39,
"WRONG": 9
}
|
RIGHT
|
AHwY3SYgpdMPUPAtuuYNk1izUQrcsNO6
|
b5doqn
|
{
"description": "not wanting to get to know my half siblings",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting to get to know my half siblings?
|
I’ve never met my father, he and my mom split when she was pregnant. I tried to get to know him when I was around 13. I got his address off one of the child support checks that was mailed and wrote this long letter to him asking about him and telling him about myself. After that the mail started coming from a female’s first name and his last, I’m assuming his wife. I took the hint and tried my best to close off that curiosity and feelings.
I’m 34 now. Recently my grandma got mailed a letter addressed to me. It was from a half sibling from my father’s side of the family. The gist was I have 4 half siblings and they’ve been curious about me ever since first learning about me. I can see the irony or hypocrisy that I was hurt when my letter of wanting to get to know my father was ignored and basically doing the same thing to them, but I closed myself off to that side of the family 20 years ago and I really have no interest in getting to know them.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 9,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
eLfKCZwc5EESaQy9UMbLKWXg5hayZzhN
|
akwdzr
| null |
AITA for how I(23f) reacted to him(24m) kissing a another girl (19f)?
|
Sorry cause I'm writing this on mobile format.
So a little back story here, I've been having a 'thing' with this guy, I'll refer to him as J, we met in a town in north west Australia and we are both backpackers. We ended up in a hostel romance and feelings on my end got pretty Intense, however he ended up going back to the UK after a couple months.
We kept in contact while he was away and in December last year J came back to Australia. We ended up meeting up in Perth and had a hotel together for a couple nights.
Over the next couple of weeks we met up tonnes and were sleeping together etc. However, it was very much an emotional rollercoaster with me wanting to have something more and J not knowing if he wanted to be exclusive or if he had any feelings for me. I should also mention we have or had an amazing friendship, with both of us connecting so fucking well with each other!
In the end we both agreed that it wasn't fair on me for us to be exclusive because the emotions were so one sided with me pretty much having fallen in love a bit with J and him just not feeling anything. Fair enough y'know? I asked J if he'd refrain from hooking up with anyone (unfair for me to ask? Im a super fucking emotional being) and he promised he wouldn't because he didn't want to hurt me and that wasn't how he rolled anyway.
All is well and on Friday we went out to a rave and got super fucked up as you do at a rave. He ended up coming back to my hostel afterwards where we slept together a couple times, it was real Intimate too.
Anyway, this week I found out that he had made out with some 19 year old girl,that he works with, a couple days before we slept together on Friday. Pretty much the same day or day after I asked him not to get with anyone purely cause of how I felt towards him.
I went off majorly at him and feel super betrayed. I have lost all trust in him because of it and don't know if I should cut J out my life or just take a break and sort my emotions before forgiving him. He is one of my best friends too which hurts even more. AITA here or was I justified to go off at him?
TL;DR
Had a thing with a guy, might have fallen in love with him. He knew how I felt then kissed someone else then slept with me a couple days later. Didn't find out till 3 days after sleeping with him that he'd made out with someone else. Went fucking ape shit at him. Now I can't trust him but I want to have him in my life as a friend.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
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"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
jKpTou6lCnjDqIQuuuiZdbgrPvmpWMKR
|
aggt48
|
{
"description": "proposing to my girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for proposing to my girlfriend?
|
Obligatory backstory and other information: I love my girlfriend, she loves me and our families love each other, etc. She has sent me photos of engagement rings in the past, taken me to jewelry stores, called me hubby, etc, essentially hinting that she wants me to propose. With that said, I had been planning to propose to her for the past several months. I put in effort into making reservations, earning enough money for where I wanted to do it and decided it would be best to do it in a foreign country while we are on vacation. She has a tendency to snoop through my phone while we are resting in bed, not for any trust issues or anything like that (honestly) but because she gets bored and enjoys reading conversations I have with a couple of my best friends.
With that said, fast forward to last month, I was talking to an unrelated friend that I hadn't spoken to in over a year via text. He asked me if I am getting engaged and I said yes, I plan on proposing while I am on vacation. I gave him no other information, not the where, the how or the time, only that it will be while we are on vacation. She snoops through my phone a couple of weeks later and comes across this text, she apologizes but is now insisting I propose elsewhere because the surprise is ruined. This made me very upset because the whole reason why I booked tickets for this vacation and booked the best hotel rooms/suites is because I planned on proposing to her there. AITA for getting mad at her and insisting that the engagement/proposal still occurs during our vacation despite her wishes?
&#x200B;
Tldr; Made plans to propose to my girlfriend, she goes through my phone and finds a text where I discuss proposing to her while on vacation. She says she no longer wants me to propose there because it ruined the surprise, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 17,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 17,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
EnouvhKTP7K7S4G1RUhAROBuBBZaZ143
|
a8ajk5
|
{
"description": "checking myself into the ER and letting down my coworkers",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I checked myself into the ER and let down my coworkers?
|
I work in retail and am scheduled every day until Xmas eve. I am confident that no one will be able to cover my shifts and my store will have to seek outside help from another store in our district, which still may not be enough. If I am hospitalized I could and probably should get fired for leaving during the holiday season when they need me to work the most. My coworkers are important to me and I don't want to let anyone down.
Meanwhile I am battling bipolar disorder and the state of my mental health is heading south very quickly. I am worried that I will not be safe if I don't go to the ER, but I feel like my coworkers will hate me if I end up in the hospital since it will cause a lot of trouble at my work. Would I be the asshole for going to the ER for instead of sucking it up and working through the holidays?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
e0F422cqE4kFqUusVtdQnT9cqYFFs9YE
|
b97oyn
|
{
"description": "telling my friends they're spoiled",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA For telling my friends they're spoiled?
|
Hey there, just needed a possible grilling if I'm in the wrong.
So my friends at school (high school) are honestly some of my favorite people, but honestly a lot of times they can be annoying and condescending, and some of them act so spoiled I want to tell them off so badly.
Now, I understand that people are in different financial situations (been high and low before many times, food stamps, no electricity etc)
But the thing that annoyed me the most these days is, because my family can't afford a second car to help everyone get to work and school, I just like to window shop often ish, and my friends make fun of me for it. (Ok, so I admit I guess I sound like a baby or whatever possibly) but I feel like it doesn't stop.
Like, I feel as though they find it funny that my family and I have to work our asses off to pay the rent and car insurance and other bills, pets etc
And my parents are absolute troopers. Dad is pushing 70, beat cancer twice, retired on and off, stapes in his head, and been to hell and back practically, and he still works his ass off every day for us to survive. He won't give up else we are on shitty social security checks or unemployment.
Mom and I have a job at a retail store together because fuck what people think.
So back to my original question.
Would I be the asshole for telling my friends they're lazy entitled assholes who need to actually work for something?
Should I keep my mouth shut (like I've been doing)?
Thanks!
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 3,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
yh03GFmpOfxjd5QSiFwChnX0VhGKeNLF
|
9ymy1e
|
{
"description": "pretending Im catholic around my religious family",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for pretending im catholic around my religious family.
|
Since i was a child i knew i had no interest in this religion. The concept of it all was weird to me. I knew about all the stories and rituals but it seemed all childish ironically coming from a child. I would always ask "why am i doing this, why does god say these things, why, why, why" i wanted more answer but there were none that satisfied my curiousity, unless I died and faced God himself, then i could truly believe all the fictional superficial stories. And ive dreaded everytime it was mentioned in the family or some ritual was happening, going to church was the worst. I see through most of the bullshit. Why do people believe so much in this yet still think skin whitening products actually work. I want this nonsense out of my life to give me more space to think about things more important. Ive been living this lie for 20 years (24m) now. Ots would hurt my grandmother and grandfathet so much if i just came out and said ive not cared for any of this all this time. Im sick of it, im sick of trying to believe in this. i really dont like this religion anymore im done hearing all the same nonsense ove and over again, its the same thing every day. jesus this jesus that, virgin birth dying for sins. its bullshit. before i though its somethings adults tell children to behave but now its gone too far. i want it out of my life.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 2,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
6IxtwvvhzL91I33wrowMFU96P6RmX0g9
|
b76p6r
|
{
"description": "making sure my group members don't get credit for a project they didn't do",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for making sure my group members don’t get credit for a project they didn’t do?
|
Hi guys, gals, and everyone inbetween.
So, I go to college at the same university I teach at (I’m a SpEd teacher now, going to school to get officially licensed to be a Spanish professor). I have a project due tonight at midnight. I wrote 3/4 of it, and did all the research because no one in my group has responded. When I saw them in class today, they all said they’d work on it tonight. But, obviously they haven’t. Now, I have it in pretty good with my professor. I’ve taught his son, and been a TA for him when I had time. If I told him they didn’t do any work they’d all get immediate 0s. (I’m 99% sure he’d do the same for anyone but 100% sure he’d do it for me). I know if this happened with my students, I’d want them to report it to me, but at the same time I know failing sucks.
I’m extremely sick right now, but powered through the work anyway. I don’t feel like anyone has an excuse for doing 0 work and therefore they deserve the 0. This is a senior level class, so why should they skate by while others hold their weight?
So everyone, WIBTA for tattling on them?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
UwALzqcbmVqYD5gpzlgWN1GNe62Crntx
|
arqa8q
|
{
"description": "telling my friend not to come visit",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for telling my friend not to come visit?
|
So... I've been planning on having my friend - lets call him Gary - come up to visit me in the city where I attend my university. He's been asking if he can come up for about a month and I've been telling him I'd love to have him come up. I said we'd play smash bros. and go to D&D club which happens every other Tuesday night. This week was the week he was planning on coming up to stay with me since this week is when D&D club is having a meeting.
&#x200B;
Here's the problem: I live about 2 hours away from my hometown where Gary currently resides and there's a pretty large snowstorm set to hit my town. In addition, last week one of my other friends decided to visit and this weekend my girlfriend came to visit. Understandably, I'd like some alone time, and I wouldn't like Gary to drive in crazy dangerous weather conditions. I told him we should just postpone his visit up here until 2 weeks from now until D&D club meets again. He said he was totally fine driving in snow and he'd still like to come up if I'd have him. I told him that I wouldn't have a clear conscience if I had told him to drive up and he ends up sliding off the road and ended up in a ditch somewhere.
&#x200B;
Well before I told him this, he seemed fine and was getting back to me quickly but after I texted him and told him we should get a rain check on the visit, he's said all but 2 words to me in the span of 5 hours. After the text, he said "ok," and then recently I sent him a meme on discord and he said "cool." This is extremely out of character for him.
&#x200B;
I feel like a bad friend shutting him down after we had planned this for a while but I just want to spend one weekend alone and I don't want him driving up in a dangerous condition.
&#x200B;
I understand that it might've been better for me to just tell him that I wanted to spend a weekend alone but at least this way his feelings are hurt less right? I still don't think that he should drive up while the road conditions could be terrible. Most weather stations are advising others to stay off the road if at all possible.
&#x200B;
Please let me know, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
kIow80nPzzycHSNM4PdN8toOZP0hrdON
|
b1zzso
|
{
"description": "not wanting my girlfriend to go on a camping trip with her male friend alone",
"pronormative_score": 77,
"contranormative_score": 37
}
|
AITA for not wanting my girlfriend to go on a camping trip with her male friend alone?
|
My girlfriend Emily and I are both 26 and have been together for 4 years now. Her best friend is a guy named Mark she met in highschool and they hang out all the time which isn't a problem. However yesterday my girlfriend and Mark and a few other friends made plans to go camping out in the middle of nowhere because they want to stargaze and we live in a dense city.
I had no problem with that originally but the other people couldn't make it so it only left Mark and her alone. I told her if it's just them I want to go too but she said I'd ruin the trip because I have no interest in camping/stargazing and I would make Mark feel like a third wheel. I don't agree at all, Mark is single and while I don't *think* he's going to do anything to her you never know. AITAP?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 35,
"OTHER": 69,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 8,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 77,
"WRONG": 37
}
|
RIGHT
|
D04ufspXxpfMfp6XYzBKA6JvfqlkGu3i
|
b1n3xi
|
{
"description": "telling my best friend's dad he doesn't care about his son",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for telling my best friend’s dad he doesn’t care about his son?
|
Hi, so me (18M) and my best friend we’ll call K (17M) have been friends since about first grade. We’re now seniors in high school and for the past couple of years we’ve been playing video games with his dad we’ll call P (48M).
P has always been a hard-ass but that’s his personality and stuff and I understand it. It’s his generation I believe and we still have a lot of fun playing video games together.
So recently my friend K, had gotten his (ex) girlfriend pregnant, and this has put a lot of stress on him. We’re still in high school but he’s been missing school very frequently. Now last week, P had decided to punish him for missing school so much.
Good, I was completely with P for this. Instead of doing the normal punishment, he is forcing K to play a with him, every time P gets on. So we were playing one day and K said he would rather have his entire PC taken so he could get his homework done and things and P said no this was his punishment. In my eyes, this is P forcing K to play a game with him, using the punishment as the way to do it. I feel like he’s being selfish, forcing K to play this game when he literally said he would rather do school related things. This had made K extremely mad and agitated constantly and obviously no one was having fun except for P.
So yesterday I got a text from a girl he’s been talking to that we’re both good friends with, and she told me that he has been very depressed lately and had wanted me to know about it. He said he thought his father saw him as a disappointment and all that, and so I had decided to let P know because I figured he would at least care to let K know he didn’t see K as a disappointment.
So today he messaged me back after I had said “Hey, I think you should lay off of K for a little bit. He’s just going back to being depressed apparently. Up to you but our friend said “K like he thinks his dad sees him as a disappointed, and he’s slacking school and he just feels different.” So P said “that’s life dude lol, sometimes you have to do what don’t want to that’s the point, he is being a disappointment” and I see where he’s coming from about that’s life. But I don’t think he’s trying to help K to NOT be a disappointment. He’s always been like this, where he doesn’t really get involved and he thinks he should be alone on this stuff. We kept arguing and I said “I was suggesting you deal with it so if you don’t want to then GTFO.” So he said GTFO out of what, and I had said this conversation. And he said that I had started the conversation so I said ”because I thought you cared” We argued more for some time after this and I ended the conversation with “Like dude, the only reason I told you this so you would lay off just a little bit. You deserve whatever comes your way. I warned you”
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
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}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
w5SgDABiXHw57f66nKaUSJq3Nw5yYsT9
|
a101r1
|
{
"description": "cutting off contact with a girl who rejected me/ possibly lead me on",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for cutting off contact with a girl who rejected me/ possibly lead me on?
|
This happened a while ago, and since then I've thought a lot about it and can't figure out for myself if what I did was right or wrong, as I dont know if it was me being mad I got rejected or her really leading me on.
I was friends with this girl after she broke up with someone I knew (who I am friends with now, but wasn't as much back then) and asked me about the things he was saying about her to our friend group at the time. I tell her some stuff but the conversation quickly turns into us talking about hobbies and stuff, shows we like, etc. Snapchats were exchanged, numbers, and we started talking a lot, and I mean a lot. Within the first few days of having our first conversation. I felt like we had a really good connection and hadn't really felt in the same way with any other girl I'd met before then. We talked frequently for several months, every day and constantly, with both of us reciprocating, she would snapchat or text me right after school got let out, etc. As you can see where this is going, I developed feelings for the girl, and thought it was going really well, until one of her friends told me she liked someone else, which I was like okay, fair enough. I shot my shot not long after that, and got rejected, which I was ok with, we were still good friends. It was at this time I asked if she might ever have feelings for me, as I didnt wan't to be hoping for anything in the future, to which she said she wasn't sure. I was ok with that in the moment, but we kept talking more and more, and I got upset when she asked me to take her to do something and after I said I would, she said she was joking and wasnt being serious, knowing full well that I wasn't (this conversation was done over text btw). I got upset over this and told her I needed a break for a while as I still had feelings and such, and needed to relax, and we agreed. I dated one of my other friends for a couple of months (in which I started talking to the girl again after about a month of not talking, we apologized to each other, etc.) Eventually, me and my girlfriend broke up after a couple of months for reasons not related to the girl, and I found myself drifting back to having feelings for her. This was at the end of the school year at this point, in which we started talking at the very beginning, only not ever talking extensively during the break period. At one point another of her friends told me she was spreading rumours about how I was constantly asking her to do things outside of school, of which I had only done maybe 3 or 4 times max that entire school year, most of the time in a group, and that she was telling people I was desperate (even if it was true, she didnt need to go around telling anyone that). I ended up texting her about this, saying that I had heard what she had said, and that I was upset with her over telling people A. The lies and B. That I was desperate, with me telling her that I was fine being friends with her, and that I wasnt going to make any moves or anything on her at any point. She then asked me why I kept talking to her about my feelings for her (only ever talked about my feelings for her one other time half a year ago when I had asked her out), to which I asked her why shed say something that insulting to me, with us getting into a big argument and her eventually handing the phone to her dad, who just told me to stop texting her, sending a picture of himself from the phone to let me know he has the reigns at this point. I apologized to him and said that it wasn't my intention to hurt her, etc., then blocking her on everything and not talking to her again, even until now.
AITA?
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "not wanting to give my mom money",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 6
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|
AITA for not wanting to give my mom money?
|
(Throwaway acc because my younger sister knows my real acc)
So im 18 and on social assistance as well as disability(cant get a job because I have severe anxiety) and get $1000 every month. $250 of that goes to my mom as rent since she cant pay bills without it(she is in huge amounts of debt and struggles to pay bills every month despite having a very good job) this morning she asked for money because her work is sending her out of town for the night. I said "ok how much" to which she replied "$100". I then asked her if she would pay me back and she looked at me and started going off on how she pays for my food and my phone bill(ive offered to pay which she said its fine). Then ends with "yes ill pay you back." Like somehow I shouldn't expect her to pay me back??
The reason this made me mad is because she is constantly making comments about my dad(they are split up, dad lives on his own and also has a well paying job) when I give him money, saying how I shouldn't that he shouldn't be relying on me. but he pays me back.(usually gives me more than what he originally asked for).
But now reflecting on it I feel like an asshole. Should I?
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HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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b6vp4z
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{
"description": "not loving my dad",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
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|
AITA for not loving my dad?
|
...yeah.
I’d like to warn that this post contains details about physical punishment and the resulting affects of that on me.
Context:
I’m a teen, living with parents and sister. I’m diagnosed with low spectrum autism. I hate to divide autistic people by functionality, but it is worth mentioning for this story that I am very high functioning and often indistinguishable to someone without autism. I am able to articulate my needs, emotions and anxieties accurately and calmly for the vast majority of the time.
So, I don’t love my dad. I don’t necessarily dislike him, I just don’t love him like family. I believe this is because of events in the past.
He shouts often, which is extraordinarily difficult for me to cope with because of my autism, since I’m severely sensitive to sound and too much exposure with little to no break can cause me to go into a full mental shut down. Not fun - especially when school’s involved. To be fair, he used to shout a lot more and louder, so he’s improved in that respect. However, I’ll still go into shutdowns too often for my liking. It now happens 1-2 times a month.
In addition, he used to hit me. Regardless of your opinions on hitting children, I felt traumatised by this. It usually doesn’t affect me, but in those shouting fits my mind will flicker back to when I was a child and I felt utterly powerless. This makes me feel as if I’m going to die, and I will freeze in fear. I vividly remember being in the car, saying I couldn’t go out because I was near shutdown and “could I please stay here while you do the shopping?” and him yelling and hitting the wheel. I genuinely felt like I was about to get killed (however irrational that may seem - but mental illness doesn’t care about rationality most times) and my stress was such that my mum had to pick me up from about an hour’s distance away.
As a result of all this, I’ll give him the cold shoulder when I really can’t stand things. In shutdown or when I’m otherwise emotionally vulnerable, I’ll refuse his company by telling him (politely) that I need time alone right now. I want to emphasise that I do not lose my cool in this situation, and at most come off as cold or rude.
However, I see my dad has been upset by this. I’ll see him visibly upset (never crying or near such, rather he looks dejected and slumped over) and I do believe it’s contributing towards his stress which eventually causes him to lash out. I feel awfully guilty, but sometimes I feel as if I can’t let him into my life because he stresses me out. As such, I don’t love him, but I recognise he’s an otherwise good person. AITA?
Tl;dr: I have had a severely rocky relationship with my dad, and I don’t “love” him. AITA?
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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a65iar
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{
"description": "wanting to look at a car accident",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting to look at a car accident?
|
I was on my way home when i saw a car accident (no people hurt, just car damaged) besides my bus stop. I really wanted to go over there to look at the damage. Completely out of curiosity, not schadenfreude. AITA for wanting to look?
|
HISTORICAL
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{
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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a2jml3
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{
"description": "asking sister to use nail polish elsewhere",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for asking sister to use nail polish elsewhere?
|
She’s using nail polish to decorate her crafts. Her work station is in the same room as my computer, and I really don’t want to breathe the fumes in because they’re literally toxic and just not pleasant to breathe in. I would move, but my computer is a desktop and I would have to lug the entire thing (including the desk) into my room. I’m considering doing that, but I don’t want to be chased out of “my area” and holed up in my room all day (I use the computer for everything). She’s already taken over another room in our house which I have no problem with, but I’d wish she’d use that room or her bedroom to paint. I asked her if she could paint somewhere else, but she said she could only paint there (despite having a desk in her room). She said she’d open the windows, but it still smells really strong when she paints. The entire upstairs smells like nail polish now (the room I’m talking about is an open room) even with the fan on. The fan is pretty small though, and only one window is open, so after I’m done posting this I’ll open up more windows and turn on our other fans. But I want to ask her to move again, because I don’t think it’s fair of her to chase me out of my area when the fumes are harmful and she has other options. WIBTA for trying to force her to move?
btw, I’m 17 and she’s 18, and we live with our parents. A couple of months ago she used a super strong toxic glue to make something, and when I asked her to do it somewhere else she blew up on me, so I’m hesitant to start another fight if I’m in the wrong.
tl;dr: sister is painting with toxic nail polish near me and won’t move. I can’t really move and the polish is stinking up the entire second floor. WIBTA for forcing her to move?
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HYPOTHETICAL
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RIGHT
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b36bbt
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{
"description": "being a little upset that he won't talk to me",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being a little upset that he won't talk to me.
|
I'm going to start this off by saying that, I already feel like I am partially in the wrong, but I'm not really sure about another part (I'll explain this more in the story). Also it makes me feel really sick to write this because of our age difference, but even though I do like him that way, I really love him as a person and as a friend, and I feel horrible that I ruined our friendship. Now that I've really sat down and thought about it with a clear head, I'm ashamed of my feelings and I know I should have never told him about them.
So I'm a 17F and I have a crush on an 15M. I've liked him for several months (probably around 6) but because of our age difference I never flirted with him until he flirted with me. I also want to mention that I am autistic (he is too but very few people know aside from me), and I've never really talked to boys that much, all of my friends growing up were girls. I didn't know until after this happened that sometimes guys flirt with girls they are friends without actually wanting to date them.
The flirting (at least I think it was) was stuff like calling me cute, winking at me, running his hand through my hair, smacking my butt etc. Because I'm autistic, I asked my friends if he was flirting or not because I wasn't sure, and they said it definitely was. I'm not saying this to try to put any blame on them though, I just want to make everything that happened and why it happened clear.
Despite the voice in the back of my head telling me not to, I decided to tell him how I felt. I tried to tell him in person last Friday, but my nerves were too bad. Due to that I sent him a snapchat that said "Hey. What I was trying to tell you Friday is that I like you. I have wanted to tell you for a long time, but I didn't want to ruin our friendship."
Well my worst fear came true. He never replied. I don't know if/when he opened it because there is a failed snap in the way and I obviously didn't want to send it after that. I can strongly assume based on his actions that he did open it though. Not only did he not reply, but we lost our streak (I didn't send one the next day and neither did he). He has avoided me at school the past 2 days. I haven't tried to talk to him. Even though I don't blame him, in way I wish he would just say something.
I honestly can handle being rejected and being called a creep more than just being avoided. I want to clarify that by upset I don't mean that as mad. More just I wish he would say something. I'm really mad at myself, and I hate myself for telling him, but at the same time I think it's probably more healthy for him to no longer be friends with someone older that has feelings towards him. I didn't even feel guilty about my feeling until after this happened, which I think makes it worse. I did think about it, but I didn't feel the same way about it that I do now. I also want to say that I do not feel like he should say something, it's just that I kind of wish he would.
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HISTORICAL
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NOBODY
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RIGHT
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mMeIqCQz0T0dQyBagjeoRG4UxbPVMNaJ
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au5qll
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{
"description": "keeping to myself",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for keeping to myself?
|
Okay, Im a 19 year old college student that lives with my mother. My mother has recently broken up with my stepfather after they had a huge fallout and after a huge episode, my mother kicked him out.
Regardless, it's been a few days after and now I'm going through this cycle of my mom grieving the relationship and coming to me multiple times per day to talk about it for a good 3 hours per "session". At first, I didn't mind at all and fully understood, but over time, I would be woken up in the middle of the night when I had class the next day, sat down immediately after just coming home from school, or even while I'm working on homework or studying to be brought into the living room to talk about everything and the same things over and over again. Some stuff discussed, I just am not even comfortable hearing about in general. I've started to mention this, and it sorta worked in a minor way.
Just today, I was woken up at midnight after studying and coping with my OCD flareup to my mom having another moment of her breakup anxiety, so I listened to her for a moment, went out with her to the living room and stayed with her for a bit. After a fair bit, I decided to go back to my room because honestly, it's late and I'm just not really up for being out and around people where there a bunch of reoccurring thoughts and worries in my head.
My mom noticed this and asked if I could sleep with her on one of the sofas for the night. I was really torn because on one hand, she's going through a lot from the breakup but on the other hand, I just really had a lot to think about and wanted to go back to my room for personal comfort. In the end, I told her that if she had another rise of anxiety that she could go to me in my room, and that I'd genuinely rather be in my roo.
I'm being really serious when I say that this is eating me up on the inside. I feel like I'm just being absolutely selfish. Am I an asshole for not staying in the living room?
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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b83ag3
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{
"description": "not extending a specific invitation to two nieces for an annual family event that everyone is invited to",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA - For not extending a specific invitation to two nieces for an annual family event that everyone is invited to?
|
Every year, on the last day of March, we gather as a family to celebrate my father-in-law’s life at a specific restaurant. He passed away many years ago, and that was his favorite place to eat. My mother-in-law foots the bill as part of the celebration and everyone in the family that can attend is always welcome. Sometimes people bring friends and it is never a big deal and we all celebrate a great man. This year, we had 3 of the 4 of my mother-in-law’s kids and their families come and had a wonderful time. My wife took a picture and posted it to social media to honor her dad. The unrepresented kid (I say kid loosely as she is over 50) took exception to this and flew off the handle because their family didn’t get an invitation and were purposely excluded. It is an open invitation, and she and all her children are adults with working phones. AITA for not reaching out to them and explicitly inviting them? Or should they know they are welcome (since they have been every other year) and take the initiative to just come? I didn’t get an invite and I showed up, so maybe IATA for a different reason.
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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IHMUuhbCUVU5NhaWzXoBvdO9x8mX2ipk
|
amf2ol
|
{
"description": "not helping my classmate in math",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not helping my classmate in math?
|
This post might be a bit long.
Here’s some background:
I (15F) am currently taking algebra 2 and am one of 3 people in my class that actually understands or passes anything.
A lot of the time, the teacher will go over a lesson and we will have to work in our assigned groups to solve a couple problems based on the lesson. Sometimes the fastest group (with correct answers) gets candy.
In my class are about 8 people I know and talk to maybe once a week in school. I definitely wouldn’t call us friends but we do talk and joke around occasionally. Anytime my teacher mentions something about group work or a group test, these people will look at me and say, “Um _______ can sit over here!” while pointing at a seat next to them and laughing.
Now, I am happy to help people on stuff and I have given answers to these people but, some of the people expect me to cheat and give them all the answers all the time.
Now for the real story:
Yesterday in math we were going over a new unit and, like always, I am one of the only ones who learns anything.
Because are class is one topic ahead, our teacher gave us a worksheet that she would count as extra credit for our unit test if we finished before the end of class. It was a pretty straight forward sheet and we had to do all the even problems 1-20. We had already gone over a couple during the lesson and we had about 30minutes of class left.
I was sitting at my table with one other person (the rest of our group was absent).This guy I’ll call Tom is known for being bad at school and generally not paying attention. On our last test he got 2/64 right.
I was going through this worksheet and then two of Tom’s friends came and sat at my table. Our class was really low on attendance and we are already a small class so I was the only “smart person” there at the time.
The first guy I’ll call Dan is one of the people I occasionally talk to. He always tries my patience and never pays attention when I try to help him. The other guy I’ll call Jake, is worse at math than Tom. He purposefully shouts out random answers thinking it’s funny. He is in algebra 2 and algebra research.
The first thing these guys say is, “Hey, can you give us all the answers.”
I just kind of stare at them thinking how they have the audacity to ask that since they never pay attention and the teacher would know that if they had all the right answers, they were cheating.
I asked them if they even tried and they said no.
I told them to let me finish the problem I was on and then I would help them, not give them the answers. They start talking and being a bit rowdy. I asked them to stop and they just looked at me like I was being rude.
At this point, our teacher had said at least 4 times we are doing even, she had written it on the board and said to right it on the sheet.
I was almost done when Jake says, “Are we doing odd or even?”My response was basically that he can ask someone else or just pay attention next time.
I am on the very last step when Jake starts to mutter stuff under his breath where he knows I can hear him. Saying things like “I don’t like rude people” “why you being such a b***ch”
I finished the problem while saying “I don’t like ignorant people who don’t pay attention and expect to people to give them all the answers and cheat”
Jake starts saying that he doesn’t care if he learns. “It doesn’t matter as long as I pass the test.”
Then I ask him how he’s gonna do that if he didn’t learn any of the material that’s gonna be on the test.
“I don’t know. Cheat, I guess.” was his response.
Dan was laughing the whole time.
I said, “Well cheat off someone else cause I’d rather not” and moved onto the next problem.
He starts his muttering again and I just ignore him.
Dan says something along the lines of “great, now we’re gonna fail. No one else has the answers” I don’t know if he was saying it to me or Jake.
I am working silently when Dan, Tom and Jake steal each other’s papers. They are being more rowdy and I just go and sit at a table by myself.
The teacher yelled at them and all of them kept glancing angrily at me like I did something.
The whole situation was dumb and I don’t think I owe it to them to sit there and deal with that. My friend said I overreacted and should have gave them the answers and none of that would have happened.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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WOl0IFG5h0VhgyDoup6w7CDF5WCJbZPQ
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b82fqg
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{
"description": "not going to work sooner",
"pronormative_score": 3,
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|
AITA for not going to work sooner?
|
Hello! I’m not a native speaker, so sorry for eventual mistakes. Also I’m writing this on my phone.
A little background - me and my boyfriend have been together for a little over a year now. When we started dating, he was working very irrlegularly, worked for one company for a month, got fired, worked at a different place for two weeks and quit, and after that he stopped working or even looking for a job for whole two months of summer, while I was spending 10/11 hours at work each day, no free days (I’m a horse riding instructor, and summer is a very busy time in my field). He worked a month in september, just before we left to work abroad. We came back at the end of january, and most of the money we earned went into our car and renting a new place, since we want to move to a different city in February, and we did. He found a good job in his field(he’s an electrician) almost right away, while I had some trouble, since I can’t really work as a horseriding instructor at the moment due to my arms injury, and I don’t have a lot of experience or education otherwise. Since my boyfriends work was well paid of, he told me to take my time and find a job that I would like. Unfortunately, in middle of march he was let go, and our situation became pretty bad, as we didn’t really have any money then and hoped for April to be better thanks to his salary. When that happened, I immediately took the first job offer I’ve got, and he found a job at a local restaurant few days ago, so we will manage, but money will be pretty tight still.
Some time ago, my boyfriend mentioned wanting to go to a concert of a band he liked along with his friends. I supported the idea, thinking that we’ll be on a better footing when the time came. Well, the time came and we’re currently living on money borrowed from my parents, and today he tells me he’s going to buy a ticket. I pointed out to him that the ticket for a concert, along with train tickets will take a good quarter of what we will receive this month, and told him not to whine at the end of the month that we have no money(he tends to get very angry about it). He told me to fuck off, and that we would have no money not because of his spending, but as an effect of me not going to work two weeks earlier so I could make a full month.
I’m feeling pretty hurt as I have never had any pretences to him while he wasn’t working and I was basically sponsoring him, but I also know that our situation was different back then, as we only paid half of what we’re paying now for our flat, so I also feel very guilty for not going to work sooner, especially since I would end up with an equally shitty job as I did now. I’m feeling pretty conflicted about it, so, Reddit, AITA?
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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Od9XROHxEPrXrkmsuGd4LZKjsVj8nB7p
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b1x2zc
|
{
"description": "thinking my wife doesn't deserve part of my tax return",
"pronormative_score": 150,
"contranormative_score": 146
}
|
AITA for thinking my wife doesn’t deserve part of my tax return
|
I work about 60-65 hours a week M-F, normally getting to work before 4 am. It’s a very physically demanding job and I’ll normally lift and move 18-20,000 lbs per day.
My wife doesn’t work. She stays at home taking care of our two year old. Thing is she also doesn’t do much housework, as the house is always a mess unless I come home and clean after working 14+ hours.
This year we’re getting a refund of a few thousand dollars. I have to get new tires for my truck, pay off a couple things, and I was wanting to put a down payment on a vacation a few months away. My wife has told me she’s planning on buying a new, high end camera. She’s not a photographer, I don’t know what she needs a nice camera for. But she says if I get to spend the money on new tires, she should be able to spend some on something she wants.
tl;dr AITA for thinking my wife doesn’t have the right to spend part of the tax refund that came solely from my income.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
SorvEx0NHLC1vgLMTWIGb87SDSugWGt4
|
av2ryw
|
{
"description": "getting back in touch with my brothers ex girlfriend and trying to be friends again",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting back in touch with my brothers ex girlfriend and trying to be friends again?
|
My younger brother (22M) and his ex girlfriend (20F) ~ let’s call her Hannah ~ dated on and off for 2+ years. During their time together, we became relatively close. I’ve never bothered trying to become friends with previous girlfriends before because they never got to the point of being *serious* with each other, but once my brother and Hannah seemed to be getting serious (meeting each other’s families, spending the night at each other’s house constantly, etc)
A little over a year ago though, my brother and Hannah broke up and it seemed to be for good this time. I was incredibly sad about this, since it felt like I was losing someone I actually saw becoming my sister. If I’m being honest though, breaking up was probably the right thing. She was too good for him and he wasn’t emotionally mature for that level of commitment, so it was for the best for them IMO.
My brother is my best friend and I would do anything for him, I practically raised him after our parents separated and we’re absent for a majority of our childhood. So even though I absolutely adored my friendship with Hannah, I asked my brother if he would be okay if I remained friends with her.
Initially he said yes, so Hannah and I continued to meet up weekly for lunch, catch up, etc. Tried not to bring up my brother unless she wanted to talk about him, and I tried my best to keep my relationship with them separate as much as possible. After a few months, he told me he wasn’t comfortable with this and asked me to stop seeing her. I messaged Hannah saying I might need time away from our friendship, since my brother wasn’t comfortable with it and she understood.
Now it’s been about 10 months since I last saw her at this point, but recently I’ve gotten back into the habit of grabbing coffee before work at the coffee shop Hannah works. It’s also right next to my office.
I’ve been seeing her briefly 3 times a week and we catch up here and there, and I obviously miss having her as a friend. She’s reached out asking if we can catch up and properly hangout one of these days and I said yes.
I haven’t told my brother yet since I fear he’ll get mad at me for doing this, after he specifically asked me to stop being friends with her. At the same time, it’s been almost a year and I feel like it’s unfair for me to stop being friends with someone because of someone else, even if it’s my brother and he’s my best friend.
I do plan on telling my brother I made plans with Hannah before I actually meet up with her. Am I the Asshole if I choose to continue my friendship with her again, if even after all this time, he says he’s not okay with it?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
tCiMueW0fmRhjqu0x5iX09ElrEVqUlKa
|
adkx1m
|
{
"description": "leaving a note on my neighbor's car asking them to park better",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I leave a note on my neighbor's car asking them to park better?
|
I live in a small apartment complex with assigned parking spaces in a carport in the alley behind our building. The alley is narrow, and I struggle to back in to my spot (I have an end spot with the carport wall on one side and a couple of metal columns on the other, and because there's a Dumpster in the alley, I can only get into my spot from one direction). I'm not a very good driver anyway, but the spot is definitely challenging.
I don't know who is assigned the spot next to me. Usually there is only a small car parked there, but several times I've seen a larger SUV that also backs into their space. The problem is that the SUV is never backed in completely--they usually have at least a good three feet to go. This means that the massive front end of the SUV is sticking out into the alley, making it really, really hard for me to back around their car.
WIBTA if I left them a signed note on their windshield imploring them to back in all the way?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
TACCmxZ5jcvHLwTdzPDVN2d9PoSMEBrL
|
a640is
|
{
"description": "hiring a sex worker",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 15
}
|
WIBTA if I hired a sex worker
|
Let me start out by saying that I love my girlfriend deeply, I’m very attracted to her and I don’t want to hurt her. We’ve been together five years and she’s literally my best friend.
We live together in a smallish house and her family are a very big part of our daily lives. For example her parents and siblings (with children) can quite often be found at our house and everyone lives on the same street (think “everyone loves Raymond”)
she also has a medical condition that makes sex very uncomfortable for her which flares up from time to time. Between this and the ever present family we don’t really have a sex life.
I cant really get any personal time because we’re so comfortable around one another that it’s not a big deal to share the shower in a non sexual way (my girlfriend and I that’s is).
I feel guilty about wanting sex and knowing that she feels like less of a women for not being capable of doing the deed
We’ve talked and It’s very clear that sex isn’t something that is going to be common in our relationship, but that’s not a deal breaker. Like I said ,I love her and have never met anyone I get along with so well.
I don’t want to hurt her feelings, by even suggesting that I’d rather sleep with someone else because it’s not the case. She would be my preference every time.
I find myself avoiding porn because I get worked up very easily and have had wet dreams several nights in a row. A couple of nights ago on the drive home from work I took a detour to a secluded spot just to relieve myself solo.
I have a very hard time not fantasising about coworkers and I’m easily agitated lately.
If I was to hire someone, with the express purpose of release, being safe and discreet, then I feel that that is somehow better than a hookup at a bar.
To be fair I’m probably not going to go through with it. I wouldn’t even know how to get in contact with a sex worker. I just feel so guilty and frustrated to be nearly 30 and unable to scratch that itch.
TLDR, I’ve been doing No nut November intermittently for a little over 5years
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 15,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 15
}
|
WRONG
|
X6qIL7RLs0DgwWb4bhEmzPbKeKHWYdLX
|
atm7dx
|
{
"description": "kicking a player from my D&D campaign for lying to me, as the dm",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for kicking a player from my D&D campaign for lying to me, as the DM?
|
So small background, I'm a fairly new DM & I run a small homebrew D&D campaign online. It's run on a discord server with a fair few people on it, one of which is the target of this story. I was quite new at the time, and very nervous.
It was the 10th session of the campaign, and in the last session, we had finished going through an 'arc' of sorts for his character, with him shedding his patron connection and becoming a sorcerer (as I said, homebrew). Before this session, I was hyping up a boss fight with a warforged gunslinger (basically a robot with a gun), but I had expressly stated multiple times that this boss, should he win, **Would not kill.** With this in mind, what this player (I'll call him B) really surprised me.
The session started with the party seeing this boss taking over a small village, one that was important to B's character, and actually had his character's mother in (we agreed on this beforehand). Before the session properly started, I decided to give my players a bit of time to prepare for battle, I even made it so I couldn't see what they said on B's request. When they come back, B tells me he's going to spend the entire party fund on dynamite, then bomb the village. I was surprised, but thought it was extreme enough to be funny. Oddly enough, only half of the present party seemed to be into it (I learnt afterwards that one was uninformed (M), another didn't know what they meant (L, and another was against it (P)! so it was 2/5 in favor).
Since I thought he was going to end the fight immediately with an explosion, I decided to forgo the combat encounter I had. Yeah, it was dumb, but I was trying to make the session tailored to what the players did. Then B approaches the village, and instead of using the dynamite, starts insulting the boss and throwing out spells. I didn't roll initiative because I thought he was going to just bomb them as soon as it started. He then starts insisting I roll it, and suddenly bursts out laughing saying 'I GOT YOU' and he (and the other player who was in on it) say that they lied. I nervously laughed it off, and tried to get back into the spirit of the session.
I honestly couldn't get it together that session. M was now ranting through text (they didn't like using the mic) about how this was unfair to do to a new DM, P started apologising in DMs saying 'I had nothing to do with it', and the others were just rolling with it. I couldn't keep track of anything that session, the throwoff just messed up my mood too much. Eventually, they won after 2 hours of battle, and I decided to end the session there, since I was in a state where I just couldn't continue. Afterwards, I talk to my players in DMs, B in particular.
&#x200B;
Continued in comments because this is too long.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
kfbatuHTqk8PTU2KGFFINTxZ0sabPunN
|
am82rp
|
{
"description": "telling my gf not to text my dad through my phone",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling my gf not to text my dad through my phone
|
My girlfriend of ten months doesn't have the greatest liking to my dad. My dad hasn't told me about some stuff he's doing in his life recently (getting remarried, etc). Today my girlfriend grabbed my phone and started typing all this stuff to him that I rely didn't want to say to him because to be honest, I don't care what he does on a personal level. I told her to give me my phone back and called her a brat. She threw my phone back at me in the car and was pissed that she didn't get to do what she wanted to do and not what I wanted to do. So am I the asshole in all this?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
1qPI0fQSQIRs2v5iCsC8oQWIoyFrFBMU
|
amo5zn
|
{
"description": "quitting my job and leaving my boss to work by himself",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for quitting my job and leaving my boss to work by himself?
|
So a little bit of backstory:
I'm young (19 M), working my first full time job as a bricklaying apprentice coming straight out of high-school after I graduated. I'm about a year into the apprenticeship, and I'm beginning to not enjoy it. I work with two other people, my boss (53 M) and a 4th year apprentice (23 M). The 4th year, let's call him John, is finishing his time as an apprentice in 2 weeks and just announced he'll be moving on to a new job because he "needs change". Fair enough, I don't blame him. My boss seems to think John is a piece of shit for quitting on him. The problem is I've been considering quitting to do something else for the past month roughly. I've had it on my chest this whole time and haven't really mentioned it to anyone other than my girlfriend. I can't see myself ever wanting to be a bricklayer for life. I'm miserable through the week because I'm waking up forcing myself to go to a job I hate.
With John leaving within the next few weeks, I now feel like I'm obligated to stick around and sacrifice my happiness just to save my boss having to do EVERYTHING on his own (and trust me, it's a bitch of a job with 3 people, let alone just one). I'm not going to quit on him without knowing where else I want to be first, but would I be the asshole for doing so before he finds another worker to hire?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
VOb9PAMcJt9Pw8igwqbqDTZ458RJnfFO
|
b11h6j
|
{
"description": "asking my roommates girlfriend and child to move out",
"pronormative_score": 18,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for asking my roommates girlfriend and child to move out?
|
This all happened months ago while I was in graduate school. I was living with a buddy (let’s call him John) of mine in a 3-bedroom apartment and we had a spare room. A fellow graduate student needed a place to stay and asked me if I knew anywhere for him to stay and I extended the offer that I had an extra room if he wanted to stay with us (pending Johns approval). John and the new roommate spoke and John approved.
New roommate moves in and about a month or so after his girlfriend starts visiting us on the daily and staying over. It wasn’t much of a big deal. And then said girlfriend begins to bring her child over (2-3-year-old girl) who was a sweet kid but not a situation I wanted to be involved in or have around the house. We recently had a new dog that I was fostering (with approval of the roommates) and I wasn’t sure how he was with kids yet.
Anyways, one day I’m showering, bathroom and bedroom doors closed and I walk out of the shower, put my towel on and the kid opens the door to my bathroom after going into my room. This made me uncomfortable due to the fact that I barely knew the mom and child and with all the crazy shit happening in the world I didn’t want to be accused of anything. This kind of set uneasy with me as I didn’t want to be responsible for a child being around my house as a graduate student who was still drinking and partying every now and then or cursing around the house. It just wasn’t a good place for a child in my opinion.
The new roommate ended up leaving to work in another city for the weekdays and returned on the weekends. His girlfriend and child were staying at the house with us while he wasn’t there.
To end the story short so I don’t drag it all out anymore, I told my new roommate I wasn’t comfortable with the fact that we had a kid running around here and that it made me uncomfortable being here when they were all doing their family thing in the living room and kitchen or that she was here when he wasn’t. I felt like a stranger in my own home. He didn’t get where I was coming from and said he didn’t think it was a big deal and nothing came of it. I called him again a few days later and said that I didn’t want them to be there anymore and they had 2 weeks to find a place to go. Nothing happened with that as he didn’t take me seriously. I was tired of going back-and-forth and him not respecting where I was coming from and how it made me feel uncomfortable so I contacted our landlord and asked her if she had any advice. She informed me that it was against the rules for her to be there anyways and that I was not in the wrong. I told her that I would talk to him and make sure that they were moving out because she agreed with me that it wasn’t safe or a good place for a child to be. They eventually moved out but I still felt like a dick even though I knew it was the right thing to do.
Am I the asshole for making them move out?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 18,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 18,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
7bOnnufByu2OH6Ij38AeIPQ0BwOAmpmO
|
aunjij
|
{
"description": "taking a nap instead",
"pronormative_score": 59,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for taking a nap instead?
|
So, recently my boss has been getting pissy recently about some employees taking "extended lunch breaks" as well as leaving work up to an hour early. Our lunch break is already pretty long, an hour and a half, and we and our work hours are 8 hours in total including the break. So, I totally understand where he is coming from.
HOWEVER... I have always taken my lunch break and napped in my car instead and just ate lunch after work. Eating mid work always makes me very tired for the second half. Today boss was walking through the parking lot during lunch and walked by my car and saw me napping and knocked on my window and proceeded to make a big fuss about how I was sleeping in my car when I should be at work. I explained that I was on my lunch break and that napping helps my productivity more than eating but, he just left me with, "Your lunch break is for eating and you should go back to work when you are finished eating not when the lunch break is over." Am I the asshole for taking a nap instead of eating lunch?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 57,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 3
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 59,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
y6VA0wxfvsA68lk7iRKNPjK5yX2d6Usi
|
b2rtpr
|
{
"description": "taking a 29yo's virginity and then breaking up with him",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for taking a 29yo's virginity and then breaking up with him?
|
This happened ~1.5 yrs ago. I had known this guy for years. He was my older brothers best friend since middle school, a long time family friend. The guy, Tom, was 29 at the time. I had just turned 20.
My brother and wife(Alan/MegaBitch) came to town to visit our mom. Tom came to hangout as he did whenever Alan came to town.
Tom asked my brother if he could ask me out. Alan said yes, so Tom and I went out a few times while Alan was still in town.
It was discovered during the trip that megabitch was cheating on Alan. I took it hard. Alan didn't deserve it. I had even officiated their wedding. My brother and megabitch left, they ended up getting divorced.
After a few dates, Tom and I slept together. We were both adults and we both wanted to, so why not? He was really good at it, we had amazing sex.
He was coming to stay with me a lot after that, bringing stuff over and leaving it at my place. Buying me groceries. I thanked him and told him it wasn't necessary, but he said he didn't want to eat all my food. He also bought a jumbo pack of condoms and left it in my bedroom.
I told him before we started sleeping together I would not want to be exclusive bf/gf unless things started to get serious.
A few days later, I'm talking to my brother on the phone, trying to help him through a very hard time in his life. He tells me, "Tom told me you took his virginity. Wasn't expecting that."
Tom had told me he only had one girlfriend before me, but I didn't know he would be a virgin at 29. To clarify, I wasn't judging him, but to find out from my brother?!?!
I decided to have a talk with Tom. I reminded him that I still wanted to see other people, and I felt I had lead him on, because it was obviously very serious. He didn't care if I saw other people as long as he was my main guy. An open relationship. I asked him why he would be ok with this.
"Because I'm in love with you."
I didn't know what to say so we just laid there until I told him that I didn't feel the same way. He said it was fine and that I may grow to love him. THIS WAS TWO WEEKS INTO SEEING EACH OTHER BTW.
In the meantime, he kept generally doing things you would do in the honeymoon phase of a realtionship. I've been there when I've felt head-over-heels for someone.
It terrified me. I didn't feel the same way at all. I liked him but had been hoping for something casual. AND I TOLD HIM THAT. I felt because I had taken his virginity he was immediately incredibly attached to me.
He came over mid December. He had bought me an early Christmas present, a massage table and when I saw it, I felt such pressure and broke it off. He was angry and cried. He took his stuff but left the massage table. I tried to get him to take it but "It was a gift."
We haven't spoken since, but I hear he is engaged now. My brother said I made Tom realize something was missing from his life. I didn't care he was a virgin, he just got way too serious too quickly.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 12,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 15,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
DW37DweaIL6Wf23NUgMayngL7NNkC4ck
|
9zj6po
| null |
AITA. Course tutor is lying again to get me off the course due to a personal vendetta and now I want her job.
|
AITA. Okay so abit of backstory I (18m) have anxiety and depression diagnosed since I was 14 years old and now I am on my second year of my IT course and the first year is handled by a separate tutor than the last two years, so J is the first year head of course and R is the second/third year head.
Last year we had R for one day of the week and the rest we had with J (somewhat important). Now the first lesson I ever had R we finished our work before class end so she told everyone to go about doing what they want on the computers, so I did and started listening to music to which she calls me over with an attitude in front of everyone I asked what the problem was before getting up to go to her and she blows off on me for having an attitude with her, turns out she was watching everyone's screens through her monitor due to software the college has installed to stop people from doing stuff behind a tutors back, now I was listening to music and music alone, but me and her ended up arguing about it since honestly it came across as her trying to make an example out of me saying things like "why are you on YouTube I haven't seen your work, why did you think you could do something else?" when she hadn't checked anyone's work.
Now as you can tell me and R had problems from that point on leading to a meeting being arranged with my parents due to me telling them of her mistreatment of me, she thought otherwise..
Cut a week after the meeting had been arranged and as part of the course we have 1 to 1 with our course tutor every few weeks, this week was my turn, now me and J got along amazingly and still do so he brought up that R had complained to him that I started fights with one of the support tutors in her class, not true, I told him I've never had a problem with him and we've actually talked properly about things like music in class as he saw I was into punk and wanted to show me some bands once the assignment was finished etc, I pulled the support tutor M aside next class to ask him if I had ever been disrespectful to him and quote "no not at all butty, I have never had a single issue with anyone in your class let alone just you" which lead me to explain the situation to him and he looked utterly confused. I also have R today, I get to class sit with my friend as usual and we get started on work, my friend asks for my help since he didn't understand something and R was busy and ignoring him so I began to help him which includes talking to him, oh no right, after I get halfway through explaining to him I hear from across the room "Joe (Me) I'm supposed to be having a meeting with your father maybe I should write down everything you say in class for him" to I reply "I was just helping G cause he didn't-" she cut me off with alot of attitude so I just belted out over the top of her threats of getting me in shit with my dad "yes your having a meeting with my dad but I don't think you realise its about you not me, the way you've treated me since I didn't let you push me around and now you've been caught lying to my tutor about me to get me In trouble" she lowers her voice and gets nervous denying she told him that, after that she started treating me better and we actually started getting along after awhile.
Cut to now, I'm in second year so I have her most of the time with no problems, I've been having lots of trouble in my personal life between a rough break up with suicide as the cause (she's still alive but that's why she ended it) and my parents divorcing at the exact same time so my depression had gotten way worse and I started missing days of college cause it was to hard to be around people, I explained everything to R and she seemed understanding offering to arrange support for me etc well a couple days ago my ex (after a scare she fell through on her plans) messaged me and sent me a picture after I explained to her I still care about her of her in a sexual position with two other guys, this set me off and I cut off emotionally there and felt I could start going to college again, this Monday gone I go in and attend my maths lesson and later go to R's lessons, before the lesson starts she pulls me out of class and tells me that I've been removed from the course due to my attendance so I took it on the chin, didn't blame her and even gave her credit since she told me that she fought my corner to stay, I go home, tell my mom and she decided to call the college the next day. Speaks to an attendance officer and the people at reception and all say Im still on the system and there's nothing saying I'm out and to go back in and if R tells me otherwise to go ask for a specific person.
Now my first day back since would be tomorrow, Im extremely anxious to the point of shaking to deal with this but I refuse to be stepped on by a teacher abusing their power and my parents and family know this and keep telling me not to get her In trouble "don't go and put her out of a job" and acting like I'm the ass hole for not letting her abuse her power further and maybe do this to someone else just cause she doesn't like them, I'm pretty set that I'm right in this and some friends agree but I'm still anxious incase.
TL:DR teacher lies to get me in trouble, gets caught, acts nice for a year till im under her power then lies that I'm removed from the course and now I want to fight back and get her in trouble for abusing her power.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
mVwhh8PEkqjr73vPiH5mRyGjWlCUR6HX
|
aq86a4
|
{
"description": "being pretty happy about the dead bum that got found behind where I work",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 11
}
|
AITA I'm pretty happy about the dead bum that got found behind where I work
|
The guy has been a homeless drug addict for years and has been a pain in the ass. Breaking Windows to steal car batteries, throwing trash all over the parking lot, breaking more car windows... this guy broke a fuck ton of windows. Customers aren't to happy when they drop a car off to get worked on and some drug addict fucks their car up. We've had other homeless problems but this guy was always the one to mess with the most things. Everyone else was pretty neutral about him being found dead, I was mildly postive. The police force is run by a very liberal sheriff and its so hard to get them to deal with the homeless. Even When we got video and the guy is always in the same places. We've joked about killing him for years and now the fucker helped us out and killed himself. I'm like 80% sure fentanyl got him.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 11
}
|
WRONG
|
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