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01SMOPFbanv05Cp9RO8pE6jbeolhk9rI
|
atq4uu
| null |
AITA or is my boyfriend overly conservative about clothing/nudity?
|
My boyfriend (42M) and I (27F) have been dating for 3 years. Wonderful relationship, no problems except for what I'm about to describe, love of my life as far as I'm concerned.
BF is sensitive about my cleavage/underwear accidentally showing in public. He gets visibly upset and angry if something slips/shows (no abuse of any kind, just shuts down emotionally as if I purposefully did something to hurt him). I don't dress scandalously ever, I work in an office and I'm always covered but I have a large chest compared to my body size so sometimes shirts don't fit perfectly. He also used to get upset about me changing in front of the window with blinds not completely shut (I live in the city so neighbors are close) and I switched primary care physicians from a male doctor to a female doctor due to BF's insistence. He says that he doesn't want any other men seeing his girlfriend naked. He does not display any other controlling behaviors, I have several guy friends that I spend time with, it's just this subject.
There have been \~six of these incidents over the past 3 years, but the one I want advice on is that I recently ordered bathing suits for our upcoming Florida vacation. When I showed him one "cheeky" bottom, he got upset. We discussed it and my stance is that it's a normal bathing suit that will look flattering and that I shouldn't be covering up because of other men potentially being perverts. We've been on the beach together before with no problems.
Background which I believe is relevant: When BF was 10, a man broke into his house and escaped through his sister's window. They found her bound and gagged but otherwise OK physically. She never shared what happened to her but I'm sure it was horrendous and they never caught the man. I believe it still affects him and may be the source of his need to control.
Unless I'm TA, does anyone else dealing with this kind of trauma/mindset have advice on how I can approach it without giving up what I believe is perfectly OK?
Cheeky bottoms here: [https://www.ae.com/aerie-swimsuits-bikini-bottoms/aerie/s-cat/6890013?icid=AE:SHP:Sec1:Aerie:ShopBikiniBottoms:Promo](https://www.ae.com/aerie-swimsuits-bikini-bottoms/aerie/s-cat/6890013?icid=AE:SHP:Sec1:Aerie:ShopBikiniBottoms:Promo)
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
zE97UqO4JlyH4hRxKTHWOOV6fRIJWlh5
|
9xeqv8
|
{
"description": "not being around my recovering addict friend",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA because I can't be around my recovering addict friend
|
Needed to vent because I *feel* like the asshole, but I can't do it, i just can't. Also, sorry for the length.
TLDR: My friend goes through phases where he's around constantly and is the biggest part of my life, followed by periods where he nearly overdoses on drugs and isolates himself. This pattern is breaking my heart, and I don't think I can be there for him when he gets out of inpatient this time.
Friend and I have grown up together, our parents were close friends and we lived in the same town. We went to all the same schools, and the same church. Every weekend for almost a year and a half, we volunteered at a food kitchen together. He was my first crush, my first kiss, and my first valentine. We'd gone through so much together.
Our first year of high school, he completely dropped off the map. He started hanging around some new kids, and I had a pretty structured group of friends. I would invite him to things, but most of the time he would decline. I kind of shrugged it off and wondered if maybe his new friends were pressuring him to "date" me or something, as most young high schoolers were doing that kind of thing. We still hung out, but it was pretty much only between classes at school.
The summer before 10th grade his mom had a talk with mine, who then relayed it to me. His mom took him to the doctors one day because he was acting really strange and shaky and had the sweats, wondering if he had the flu or something. It was heroin withdrawal.
I remember being so shocked. I was a sheltered kid, it was a small town, and we were barely *fifteen* for Christ's sakes. At the time, I had never seen pot, much less used heroin. I remember my mom asking me, more like begging me, to tell her if I knew anything about it, anything at all. I mentioned his new friends to her, but that information wasn't anything new to my friend's parents. They knew who he'd been hanging out with, but apparently they didn't know they were kids who had access to those kinds of drugs.
His family checked him into rehab, and they kind of broke down around that time. They tried to hide it from him, but I think it was pretty obvious to everyone, especially because it was such a small town. His parents separated for a bit, his older brother partially cut himself off from the family, and his younger brother just seemed so lost. I think they were all so shocked by this. When I've talked to my mom about it, she recalls his parents confiding that they just didn't understand. They felt they had done everything right as parents, taught him right from wrong, gave him just a little bit of freedom. She thought they talked openly about things like drugs and alcohol, and she just didn't understand how it had gotten so bad so quickly, and he was so young. We both were.
He was a part of inpatient rehab for a long, long time, and he never came back to school after that. Our junior year, once he was out, he elected to do nontraditional schooling (sorry, this was a long time ago and I don't remember what it's really called) where he was still technically a high school student, but was taking all of his classes at the local community college. His plan was to graduate with both his high school diploma and his associates degree.
He wasn't allowed to hang out with his old friends when he got out, the group who had introduced him to drugs in the first place, for obvious reasons, so he and I started to hang out a lot more. I was a flat-out dork, but we had a lot of the same interests. We both loved stand-up comedy and The Sims, so a lot of the time when we hung out we did that kind of stuff. A lot of the stuff we did was either at my house or his house, because his parents were really protective at that point. Our friendship continued smoothly until halfway through senior year.
In spite of everything, he still managed to get into it again. No matter how hard I pushed, he was withdrawing from me and my group of friends. I said something to both his and my parents, but they just brushed it off as him becoming more introverted; they never saw him act suspiciously in any way.
He had his own car at this point and his parents rarely used it. One morning really early, his dad was going to work and walked past his son's car, glancing inside. There was a dime bag on the floor. Upon further investigation, his dad found needles inside. He was using again.
I couldn't be there for him as much this time because everything else in my life was moving so fast. I was graduating high school, I was preparing for college. I moved away for school, but only a five hour drive. To my understanding, my friend was doing okay and was in inpatient care again; he couldn't have non-family visitors, so I left for college without saying goodbye.
We lost touch and so did our parents. His were seeking advice and help from families who had gotten through this thing before, and mine were coping with having me moved out while managing my younger siblings. Just like my friend and I were going through different things, so were they.
We were friends on Facebook so I could see that he was doing okay. He'd been clean since our senior year, so about five years, a little less. About three months ago, this friend messaged me on Facebook. I'm currently a grad student at XYZ University, and he had just been accepted there to finish up his bachelors. He wanted to reconnect, and I was so excited about this.
For three months, we were inseparable. We shopped together, took exercise classes together, I introduced him to all of my friends and he became very close with my fiance as well. From the beginning there were things that struck me as weird about his sobriety. He could still drink - and he did, often heavily - and he bought medical marijuana. I brushed these off because every person in recovery is different, and I also wasn't very educated on the subject. I brought it up to my parents during a phone call, and they said pretty much the same thing; after all, it had been five years since we had any knowledge of him doing drugs, maybe things were really different now.
His mom called me last week. My friend apparently called her and was freaking out - she didn't know if he'd taken something, was having a schizophrenic attack, had hurt himself or if someone had hurt him. She drove the five hours, found him alone in his car outside his apartment, threw him in the back of her van and drove him to the nearest hospital.
At the hospital, they found crystal meth in his system. She was calling me to tell me all of this, and asked me to bring home some things from his apartment when I came back for Thanksgiving this year. He's in inpatient again, this time at a supposedly better place in Texas.
When he gets out this time, I don't think I can be his friend.
I understand that addiction is a disease and that it can do so much damage to families and relationships, but it just hurts so much to be around someone who had so much potential and so much going for him and just see him throw this away again and again. It truly does break my heart. He was my best friend for so long, and I hate that I can't be there for him this time, or maybe ever again. I don't know what I would do if I lost him, but I just can't have him be such a large part of my life anymore. I love him, but I can't watch him do this to himself.
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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RIGHT
|
WlzTMCHUdHq2c6eypJOJOLW9zZy3u8h8
|
ay1tyw
|
{
"description": "not letting a uniformed service member sit in my assigned seat on a plane",
"pronormative_score": 332,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for not letting a uniformed service member sit in my assigned seat on a plane?
|
My wife and I were taking an early morning flight out for a mini vacation. As we were about to sit at our assigned seats, we saw a service member in uniform sitting in my wife’s window seat (I had the middle). Since it was the first flight out, we wanted to get a little sleep, but my wife really can’t sleep on a plan unless she’s at the window. Plus, we paid around $600.
​
As we approached our seats, he was already snuggled in the seat as if he was also going to get some sleep as well. When I asked if he was in the correct seat (even though I knew he wasn’t), he said, “Do you mind if I just sit here?” with a very smug look on his face. It was as if he assumed I would say yes. I kindly said no. He then replied, “Are you sure? You can have the aisle.” I turned to my wife to see what she thought, and she shook her head to say no. So again, I said no thanks. After that I heard a couple of other passengers say to just let him sit there. He just stared at me after that and still didn’t move. Maybe he was expecting that I would give in after hearing those comments. I then sternly asked him to please sit in his assigned seat. He finally complied but was obviously annoyed. I overhead those other passengers saying I should’ve let him sit there.
​
I feel as if he was using the fact that he was in the military to his advantage by the way he responded. I can only assumed he has done this before since he was so smug. However, maybe he was finally coming home after some time away from home and was tired. I felt a little guilty, but also couldn’t forget how smug he was. Also, I fly quite a bit for work and have never had anyone defend someone else who was sitting in the wrong seat. I assume it was because he was in the military. Anyway, AITA?
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
9ss440K9ZQqhNFRUuMqyNtg6TODsPR5i
|
amci5t
|
{
"description": "thinking this girl is flirting with my boyfriend in front of me",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for thinking this girl is flirting with my boyfriend in front of me?
|
Friday night I (22f) am going out with my boyfriend (25f) and his friends (23-25) 2 “couples” join us and some single guys. So night is going well and we come back home to play a game. This girl who is “dating” my boyfriends best friend is very buddy buddy with my boyfriend (this is my first time meeting her and hearing her name). Throughout the night we’re friendly until she pulls me aside and asks if I have a problem with her being friends with my boyfriend. At this point I honestly did not. Then we play a game and she makes her players name my boyfriends name loves her name. At this point I’m pissed. She asked me if I had a problem bc she noticed I was being quiet and then I felt she caused a problem. She was also making small jokes with my boyfriend. At this point I removed myself from the game and went to bed for the night. My boyfriend thinks I’m the asshole for being over dramatic. But I feel that if the girl really thought I had a problem with her at first why would she make her name like that in the game knowing it would cause a problem. Am I the asshole for leaving the game?
Also my boyfriend later talked to me and said they’ve been friends since they were kids (10+ years) and she’s really into his friend. I just feel like for the first time meeting me she would be more respectful to my relationship.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
eDaXLyLbcjaQMwDxTKHyVi40PKi8Zmpq
|
b4hllp
| null |
AITA [M22] in this situation with my (possibly ex) friend [M22] and his girlfriend [M20]
|
Thomas and I met about a couple years ago in college. We hit it off great, shared a bunch of interests, just got along really well. He used to bring his girlfriend Erin around a lot and her and I started becoming friendly too and he had no problem with that.
A few weeks into knowing her, Erin told me that she had cheated on Thomas with another guy, Jason, earlier that summer, multiple times. Thomas knew about it and chose to stay with her. He says he forgave her. Yet he would very regularly badmouth Jason to me and other people despite assigning her no blame for what happened even though she clearly deserved it more than Jason did from Thomas's point of view. Erin badmouth him too, even though she was hooking up with him! I even allowed them to color my views of Jason initially until I got to know him (same circles) and he was a great guy to be honest. The whole story just didn't seem right but I ignored it.
(side note: I even invited Jason to a party I was hosting a little while ago and they absolutely lost it with me even though they told me they weren't going to attend anyway.)
Recently I get close to one of Erin's friends, call her Allison, whom she introduced me to and developed feelings for her. I would talk to Erin semi-regularly about this and ask for her advice on Allison. One day, Thomas sent me a rude message asking me why I was talking to Erin so much and that she didn't want to hear me talking about Allison. I was a bit perturbed because Erin had never given me that impression, she was always happy to give me advice about Allison, whom she knew I really liked. Thomas had never ever had a problem about my friendship with Erin: we were close because of similar mental health issues.
I called Erin that day itself and asked her if I was being annoying about Allison. She said absolutely not, why did I ask? I replied that Thomas just told me she didn't want to hear about it and I would rather she conveyed it to me herself. I was confused, he never had an issue with my being close to Erin and I voiced that to her. She told me it was nothing to worry about. I said ok and changed the topic.
Fast-forward a couple of months and neither of them has talked to me for a while. I stopped texting them too, suddenly I get a long wall of text from Thomas telling me that I broke his trust and lied to both him and Erin in an attempt to cause relationship trouble. Well, that explained why Erin wasn't talking to me as well.
I'm not too fussed about losing these friendships because they've barely been in my life for the last couple of months. I personally feel like these are toxic people, especially looking back now at the way they demonized Jason to me and others. I still want to check if I could've done anything different: was it wrong of me to talk to Erin about what Thomas said to me?
TL;DR: Friends with both members of a dysfunctional relationship that has involved cheating and I feel like I'm being blamed for something I didn't do?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
FeyZqXGc7vmZ0It3k89BiO1MaDFSOHXc
|
aendvy
|
{
"description": "not wanting to give my birthday present back",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for not wanting to give my birthday present back?
|
For my birthday, my brother bought me tickets to see Britney Spears in Las Vegas, and paid for my portion of a hotel room (I was going with 3 friends).
Due to family problems, Britney canceled all of her Vegas shows. Since the show was canceled, my friends and I decided to cancel our trip. I get that Vegas is fun anyway, but with no Britney (and all the pools being closed) we decided it would be better to save the money and go another time.
My brother just sent me a text asking for the refunded ticket/hotel money (about $250), saying that he will buy me another gift since the concert/trip was canceled.
AITA for wanting to keep the cash? A gift is a gift, right?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
NOBODY
|
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|
RIGHT
|
fORNZyA9s5aDzgdohdJIDOuoqIIVQeWq
|
au3j6u
|
{
"description": "calling psychological services on my roommate",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for calling psychological services on my roommate?
|
​
There's a lot here, we'll skip the intro and start with me finding out that my college roommate, D, had cheated on his longterm girlfriend, L, for over a year. I eventually reached a breaking point and told L everything I knew.
​
L calls D shortly after, and D asks me to leave the room for some privacy. When he lets me back in, I go straight to bed (it was well after midnight). The next morning, I get up, do my morning stuff, and D is still in bed. This is really unusual because he has earlier classes than I do. When I leave for my first class, he still hasn't moved, and has missed his first class of the day already. Around 1:00, I come back from my early classes, and he's still in bed. At this point I'm a little worried, but had a busy day and had to keep moving. He's gone from the room when I get back around 5:00, but I knew he had missed most of his classes that day. Later that evening, he comes back, and I get a text from L. Basically, she decided not to believe anything I sent her, and that she had told D that I was the one who had told her about all of this. She proceeded to block me, and I was left with an extremely awkward silence in the room. Eventually D turns to me:
​
D: Do you know what I do all day?
Me: not really
D: I lift weights. Do you know why I lift weights?
Me: ...
D: Lifting weights is the only thing that stops me from kil\*ing myself. But today fucked me up real bad.
​
He then begins to scream at me about how I ruined his entire day, how he missed assignment deadlines and classes because of me, and how horrible of a person I was for doing any of this. He then goes on to talk about "I was in a really dark place all day today" and "if I didn't have L I wouldn't want to live anymore". I tell him that if he's actually being serious, then he needs to get some psychological help, and that I didn't feel comfortable with him basically using this as a guilt trip. I also told him that I would call our on-campus therapy hotline if he kept going on about it. He keeps screaming at me, telling me "you have no idea how it feels" and that saying things like that "could push him over the edge". These comments really upset me, and I pulled out my phone and called the hotline. I'll admit that although I was legitimately worried about him, I knew he could be manipulative at times, and did this at least partially as "calling his bluff". He stormed out after that, and I didn't see him for the next two weeks (long story).
​
He had to attend therapy for the rest of the semester. I moved out a few months later into a different dorm. So, reddit, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
mxeXhZJd6TerKcs4qoHPttHz4WtFzOvz
|
azzbb4
|
{
"description": "not inviting a friend of a friend to a party",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA If I didnt invite a friend of a friend to a party
|
So me and my group of friends are all fairly avid stoners and I'm having a party for 4.20 this year I'm inviting a few people round, about 6 or so.
My best friend currently is very good friends with a person I haven't respected or liked for a long time, let's call this person jack and my best friend joseph. I don't like jack for multiple reasons but the main one being that he has previously stolen from my house and from another of my friends and lied about for months even after we confronted him about it. Joseph is coming to my party coming up, and would like jack to come I have told him I wouldn't be inviting jack because while I'm high as fuck I don't want to have to worry about my property being stolen is this fair AITA?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
v3UwCWamcMCiU6zCSAieAL6PmelPHSWg
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b6oq0y
|
{
"description": "expecting my bf to spend the night with me",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for expecting my bf [20m] to spend the night with me?
|
Long story short, it’s my dads birthday today and he unfortunately passed away a few years back. He was someone I was super close with and my closest family member so it really hurt when he passed. I paid for me and my bf to have takeaway and said we should do something together like watch a film, play our Nintendo Switch, anything just to make the evening a bit more positive.
I got home from work and he was doing some portfolio work - granted, he has just finished his uni dissertation the other day and he spent all day during the evening when he finished that playing games and talking to his friends which was cool, I understand how stressful it can be so I didn’t really mind. I asked him if he had much left to do just as I wanted to chill with him soon but no pressure if he had work to do. He then sort of looked at me in a disgusted way and said ‘I’m playing games after.. I’m not spending the whole night with you.’ and it just really hurt me. I don’t want to be selfish as I know he can get stressed and gaming is a way to unwind for him usually, but this day for me is really important and he has a bit of a record of putting other things before me (that’s not uni work lmao, I mean more-so like gaming. He was with me an hour on the anniversary of my dads death and ended up going to his friends after we ate and left me the evening.).
I can’t tell if I’m just being selfish and can’t see his side to it? AITA in this situation where I should be letting him chill after his uni stuff?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
iDMqLGj43SXGwJrjbxV9vAelMy73OAm7
|
b0939o
|
{
"description": "thinking my wife should workout or am I policing her activities",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA for thinking my wife should workout or am I policing her activities?
|
I’ve been married for 2 years. My wife doesn’t do anything. I mean she doesn’t do shit. She sits down at work all day. She sits down in front of her iPad all evening. On the weekends she Netflix’s or iPads from Friday night to Monday morning.
She doesn’t want to go to sport events, museums, parks, travel, camping and on and on.
I think if she were to just get up and go for a walk she’s feel better and get some zest for life. She says I’m an asshole for policing her activity. Am I?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
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|
WRONG
|
YODBuL5AMiNx3ZiBofqgPWR83uMYNs76
|
b2ffmn
|
{
"description": "asking my fiance where her shoe broke",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for asking my fiance where her shoe broke?
|
My fiance has several pairs of identical wedges that she has to regularly repair with shoe glue. I've kind of given her a little bit of hard time about before, and tried to suggest a different shoe model but have since dropped it since she really likes them.
Today she told me planned to throw away a pair and after looking at the shoe for a few seconds I asked "Where did it break?" since I genuinely wasn't sure. She got really upset.
She said it sounded like I was questioning her ability to repair them (absolutely wasn't) and that it was rude to ask since I know where they usually break. She said I should have asked something like "Did they break somewhere different?". I think she's mad because she feels like I forgot that they break at all which isn't the case.
Honestly having a hard time seeing her point of view even after discussing it for 10+ minutes. Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
gzU6oVgpr3N0kCMTKuCKoDTkxmwMHyKN
|
9yxja0
|
{
"description": "telling my friend that my other friend was talking about her behind her back",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for telling my friend that my other friend was talking about her behind her back?
|
One of my friends that I have in class with me, we’ll call her M, was talking about her dungeons and dragon’s campaign she was playing with a few other friends from our school. M then starts to complain about how my other friend (L) is bad at the game and how L interrupts the dungeon master all the time.
Later on I saw L and mentioned this to her because I felt like she had a right to know what M had said about her.
M came up to me a few days later and she basically told me she was pissed off at me for telling L and that if I didn’t apologize we weren’t going to be friends anymore.
I didn’t feel like I did anything wrong so I told her I wasn’t sorry so I wasn’t going to apologize. M responded to this by calling me a childish asshole and claiming I only told L to ruin their friendship.
Do you think I’m the asshole for telling L what M said?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
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|
WRONG
|
qnVZfwd9t2fSUiy0PEpAUt6Ey4aNaqXS
|
9zj3zh
|
{
"description": "getting pissed off by a couple of parents lack of attentiveness",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting pissed off by a couple of parents lack of attentiveness
|
Let me just say that in NO WAY do I blame the child in this situation. I exclusively blame the parents for not paying attention to their child.
At the Thanksgiving party my family had yesterday, their was a couple of our relatives who, like always, brought their child who is mentally challenged ( I'm not sure exactly what she is challenged with, however it could be compared to EXTREME ADHD. The reason for this fairly personal/not relavent). She is always getting into things, even when she is told multiple times by anyone to not touch it, which I'm aware isn't uncommon in children, but she is at the age where others of her age would be able to follow these directions. This would be okay, however her parents very rarely pay attention to her, and when they do, they don't do much more than a "hey, don't do that" kind of thing. Well, yesterday, their lack of attention on her brought me to the point of saying that they should pay more attention to her. We had put up with it for years and I finally broke. The rest of the family had a negative reaction to this, and I just want to know, AITA?
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AITA for being upset with my boyfriend after he went out with some friends?
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Hear me out.
My boyfriend (25M) and I (23F) are currently in a long-distance relationship. We’ve been together for four years, but for the past year I had to move to another state to finish my final year of college while he works at his full-time job. It’s been alright so far as I see him every few months, but as with any LTR it’s difficult.
I recently went home to catch up with friends and family, and of course my boyfriend (let’s call him John). It was my first time home in about three months. John has a few friends who are also my friends by relation, and all of us often hang out and play video games on weekends while I’m away. I’ve known them for as long as I’ve known John, and we’re all pretty close. When I went home, I suggested we all hit the town for a night out since the weather was great and I wanted to celebrate coming home. A couple of John’s friends were interested while the rest of them said they had things going on and couldn’t make it. John didn’t seem keen on the idea either. Eventually the plans fizzled out, and John and I stayed at home to watch a movie instead. This didn’t bother me at all, and I was in fact happy that I got to spend some quality time with my boyfriend.
Fast forward a couple of months. One of John’s friends returns home after being away for a couple of weeks, and I got a call from John saying that they found a new bar that I would really like. I didn’t hear much from him for the rest of the night, but John later told me that everyone showed up and they all got plastered (we’re a bunch of college kids who love drinking). It seemed odd since they all went out directly after picking up John’s friend from the airport, and it was a Tuesday night.
I feel really left out here. I don’t have many friends in my new town, and my friends back home know this. I haven’t done anything except work and study since moving and I feel like I’m suffocating. I just wanted to celebrate going home, but no one else did; but when someone else comes home everyone goes crazy on a Tuesday. Am I the asshole for feeling upset at the situation? I’m not being outwardly upset to John about the scenario because I don’t know if I’m overreacting, but he can definitely sense that something is up.
TL;DR: I moved interstate to finish college. When I visited home I wanted to party with my bf and friends, but no one was interested. When I left, a friend returned home after a couple of weeks and they all went out and got drunk on a Tuesday to celebrate. AITA for feeling left out?
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AITA for telling best friend she shouldn’t have more kids
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TLDR at bottom
This happened about 4 or 5 years ago but browsing through this sub I was reminded of it. This is my first post so I apologize if it’s formatted or written out bad.
I hadn’t seen a couple best friends for a couple years as I had moved across the country but I moved back. We were all early 20s female.
I invited my 2 friends K and C to go out for drinks. We were having a good ol time just chatting and catching up. Somehow the topic got on Cs kids. She had 2 from 2 different guys. C proceeds to tell us she has been trying to convince her boyfriend (dad to one of the kids) to have another baby. She stated that she wants the government money that having kids brings. C has cerebral palsy but still functions okay so she gets disability and has not had a job for years. Just collecting that government money. She still has no job 4-5 years later...
I told her immediately that she should not have more kids just to have the government pay for it and told her she needs to get a job and start supporting them on her own. I don’t remember what C said back if she even said anything. But C did become a little distant after that.
I went to the bathroom and came back. We left pretty much soon after. C left but I went to Ks house for a bit and K told me that when I went to the bathroom C said how different and rude I had become and that she didn’t want to talk to me anymore. I was taken aback because C didn’t tell me my comment bothered her. I was simply stating that having kids to get a government check was wrong and she shouldn’t have a kid unless she can financially support it on her own. I wasn’t using a condescending tone or anything. Really just stating my opinion like friends do with each other
C did start texting me the next day like nothing happened and I sure wasn’t going to bring it back up.
So was I TA by telling her she shouldn’t have kids just to get some extra government money?
A year after the incident C did indeed get pregnant and now has 3 kids instead of 2...
TLDR: friend wants another baby to get more government money. I tell her she needs to get a job and not have a kid just for the government to pay. Friend gets mad. AITA?
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AITA for treating my drug addicted friend ba?
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One of my long time friends bill (not his real name) all the sudden begins smoking pot and drinking, which is fine, IMO that stuff is harmless in the long term. But as time goes on, weed turns in to opioids, LSD, adderall, lean, all of this stuff. Now you may ask where is his parents through all this? They don’t care. It’s sad and it’s not really fair considering bill is an only child. For example, one weekend his parents left him home alone and he took LSD and got so fucked up that he started freaking out and ran into his neighbors house and told them to call the police. Another time he was FaceTime, with one of my friends Rob ( not his real name) and he took LSD again, started talking about how he was gonna kill himself and Rob called 911, bill and rob aren’t friends anymore. Now don’t get me wrong, Bill is a cool guy, everyone at school and outside of school enjoy him and he’s a good guy, but this final accident really changed my opinion about him. One day he took LSD (again) and jumped out of a window, started screaming “n******” and got arrested. He’s a minor and rich so no consequences and he was in a coma for 2 days. Crazy enough, almost no one knows at our school and community. Me and a few other people know but that’s it. He came back to school and told everyone he got hit by a car, but it’s fucked up stuff. Even after that I still talked to him and tried to let him know that this stuff is fucked up. Fast forward 6 months later, I started getting fed up with his shit. Scamming me out of money and just stupid little stuff. He’s also getting back into the heavy shit again and I don’t wanna deal with his bullshit anymore. I didn’t mention this earlier but we used to FaceTime a lot and he would tell me about the drug he told and his experiences with them and I would just tell him it’s fucked up and he should stop. About 2 weeks ago, he and I were in the hallway arguing about the 20 bucks he owed me and he started getting heated and tried pushing me. after that I was walking out of class to go to the bathroom and he walked passed me and I called him a Pussy, and he turned around and starting trying to push me and said don’t talk to me like that. As he walked away from me I told him I was gonna expose his window story and he will regret it, which was wrong. Apparently one of my friends saw him leave early crying after school that day. Next morning, my parents get a call him his parents telling my parents that bill is missing school today and that they were scared I would share personal info about him. I felt bad for saying that shit about his LSD and messaged him his secret was safe with me. 2 weeks later (now), he has missed basically everyday because he’s been “sick” and I’m starting to think he’s depressed or something worse. I was a good friend to him for a long time, and this happens, for the best I’m gonna keep going down my path. AITA?
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AITA for telling my friend that tying someone is not ok
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A friend of mine showed me pictures of her 4 yo nephew tied up and he had duct tape around his mouth too, we got into an argument because I say it's not ok to do something like this to a kid and she says it's ok because they are his family and did it as a joke.
Who is the asshole Reddit??-
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AITA for trying to educate a antivaxxer and a potential flat earther?
|
So this starts with a random question from me:
"Do you believe in Vaccines?"
Her:no
Me:No?!
Her:no
....(some irrelevant stuff)
Me: Do you realise that we will have another Black Plague outbreak because of you?
Her: Yeah but Vaccines kill people!
Me: (facepalms internally) Why would they kill people??
Her: Because doctors lie!
Me: Why would they????? For money??
Her: They lie!
Me: Yeah sure but WHY?
Her: (shows an article about Vaccines killing people from 2017)
Me: Okay so, they would kill people for? FOR WHAT? Money? WHY WOULD THEY KILL FOR MONEY WHEN THE PEOPLE GIVE THEM MONEY???????
Her: idk they're bad
(More irrelevant stuff happens)
***I get kicked from the group chat***
Apparently they sided with her, idk why,
they seemed like people with a decent amount of Common Sense.
TL;DR: AITA for trying to disprove antivaxxers?
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HISTORICAL
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AITA for telling my friend to cut the umbilical already and stop letting his parents control every aspect of his life?
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One of my best friends (friends for 18 years) still has to ask his mom if it’s okay to come chill at my house. He has to have dinner with his parents every single night before he can go hang out. His parents get angry with him if he forgets to text them that he made it to his destination okay, even if it’s a 5 minute drive.
My friend is 24 years old.
Am I the asshole for telling him that it’s weird he has to ask his mom for permission to do things/have dinner with his parents every night when he’s a 24 year old with a job. It’s just so weird to me and the rest of our friend group, we’re all pretty much adults living on our own. He actually send this in a group chat full of our friends : “Sorry guys my mom wants me to stay in tonight because I went out yesterday.”
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AITA for taking my boyfriend home when he was way too drunk?
|
Hey guys. First time posting here. I’m also on mobile so sorry for any formatting errors.
I got home about an hour ago from a club in my city. It was my friend’s 19th birthday (the legal age in my country) and a bunch of friends and myself were all going to go out to a club to celebrate. My boyfriend basically lives at my house, which I was throwing the pre party at, so he was invited too.
Pre drinking went great and everyone was having a good time. It took my boyfriend about 3 minutes to get his coat and shoes on to get into the Uber. That is when I noticed that he may be a bit too drunk. He’s been that way before, so I decided to roll with it and see where it goes, as long as he gets into the club.
In the lineup for the club, he kept bumping into people and acting out, so I told him to chill and act normal and I’d get him water once he got into the club. He said fine. He kept dancing around and hopping into strangers, who gave him dirty looks, the whole time. Upon showing his ID to the bouncer, the bouncer said one more drink and he won’t be alright to go in. The only reason they allowed him in was because I worked there previously. I felt uneasy but since all of my other friends were having a good time, I went in. I knew I was making a bad decision.
Once we entered and got settled, we took a bathroom trip and I got him water and myself and the birthday girl a drink. In that time (about 20 mins) he’d fallen on his ass, ran into multiple people, tried groping me in front of my friends, and argued with me about why I seemed upset.
After all of that I decided it was time for us to leave. I told my friends (who were so understanding. I thank them so much) and he refused. I went outside for a cigarette to try and think and my friend brought him to me and said it’d probably be best if we did go.
While waiting for the cab, a girl and her friend told us that it was good that someone stuck up for his well-being like I did but he still argued. In the cab, the driver noted that he was too drunk and asked me how I was okay. I said I’m a bartender and am kind of used to babysitting.
Once home, he noted that I was still in the wrong and really looked like he’d done nothing wrong. He’s now asleep as I write this. I know he’s very drunk, but am I the asshole here? I love him very much and don’t want him to get into any trouble. It ruined my night (but hopefully not my friend’s) but I’d rather be home with a safe boyfriend than with one that’s been in any sort of trouble, whether it be physical like a fight or a simple ban from a club.
(Sorry if this seems stupid. Idk, I’ve just been in an emotionally abusive relationship in the past and I really feel bad for ruining his night. I hope I made the right decision)
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AITA for not saying “I love you” back?
|
So first things first I’ve been dating my amazing boyfriend since November of last year but we didn’t make it official up until January of this year.
We had a rocky start and I even posted in r/relationships about it, lol.
I’m glad to say that we’ve been going strong ever since!
Now, my friends found my previous reddit post and said that I should once again consult the wise people of the interwebs with this imo small issue.
So a few days ago my boyfriend told me that he loves me. A bit flabbergasted I responded with “Thanks”. We had a laugh about it and he told me that he just had to get it of his chest and wasn’t sure if I’d be ready to say it too. Evidently, I am not. I have never before told someone that I loved them and even though I care deeply for my bf, I really don’t know if I’m ready for the three big words.
So thinking of it as a funny story, I told some friends about it and they did not think of it as funny. One said that it must've hurt my bfs feelings and I should have just said it back. Also, that my response was really insensitive and that I should find a way to make it up to him. One of my more “hopeless romantic” friends straight up called me a bit of a prick. (thanks again for that, Julie)
Now I’m a bit thrown off. Is it really that big of a deal? My bf seemed not that bothered and we usually communicate our feelings well. Should I bring the subject up again with him? AITA for not being ready for the whole “I love you” thing?
Pass thy judgement on me reddit to once again feast on my inability to do the relationships™ properly.
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{
"description": "continuing to date my boyfriend even though I'm asexual",
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|
AITA for continuing to date my boyfriend even though I’m asexual?
|
My boyfriend and I have been together for four years. We get along great, support each other, and love each other. Our relationship is perfect in every aspect but sexual.
I did not know I was asexual when we started dating, I just thought I was a late bloomer. My boyfriend was patiently waiting for me to make the first move sexually and I was completely oblivious. We didn’t discuss the issue until well over a year or two into the relationship and it soon became incredibly frustrating for both of us. We almost broke up multiple times, but by that time we both loved each other and couldn’t go through with it.
Now I’ve finally figured out my sexual identity (or lack thereof) for the most part and we compromise and things are better. My boyfriend has a very high libido and I have the opposite. I’m not interested in doing anything sexual and it’s all a little nasty to me. However, I frequently give in and we do sexual things (the whole gamut, I wont specify) as a compromise. However, neither of us can ever really be satisfied by this situation because it’s more than I want and less than he wants. (I do want to clarify that I consent to everything we do though.)
He’s incredibly patient and understanding with me but it’s obvious that he’s unhappy with the sexual aspect of our relationship. He is also very against the idea of an open relationship. Am I an asshole for holding him back when he could find someone potentially better suited? Am I being selfish for wanting to stay with a good guy even though I can never fully satisfy his needs? If things keep going the way they are we could realistically get married in a few more years, and I can’t help but wonder if that would be a bad idea for both parties involved.
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AITA for not wanting to abort my sick baby?
|
Hi, this is throwaway account.
My husband (35) and I (33f) have been married for about 3 years, we've been together 6 years total and we have always wanted kids. My husband is half Italian and he has a chronic anemia that is frequent within his ethnic group; it's called Thalassemia minor and it is the mild type, he sometimes needs blood transfusions but not often (last one was about 2 years ago) and he has a normal life. It is an hereditary disease. I'm a normal Mexican girl, and like most Mexicans I have a mixed ethnicity, mostly Spanish and Native American and something more I guess because I'm light skinned.
We have tried to have kids since we married, we've tried for three years, almost four... but we have a good relationship, not having kids is not an issue and my husband has always said that we should just relax and let things happen.
During November I found out I was pregnant and we have been so happy ever since... until a few days ago... my GYNOB was concerned about the Thalassemia so she requested a thalassemia screening test for me, turns out I have the trait to the same type of anemia my husband has, I don't have the disease but I carry the gene. The doctor told us there's a 75% chance our baby will present the disease with 50% being moderate and a 25% chance the baby will present the severe form. The doctor also explained that if he carries the moderate and severe Thalassemia he will need transfusions twice a month for the rest of his life and he will eventually need transplants. We freaked out, my husband started telling me we should interrupt my pregnancy right now that he's little (9 weeks), that we should just stop trying and adopt instead. We cannot not if the baby has the disease until he is a few weeks older and here in Mexico City abortion is legal up to 12 weeks so my husband is desperate. But I don't want to interrupt my pregnancy, I have always wanted to be a mother, I love him and I want to meet him and take care of him if it is needed, I don't care if he's sick, I just want my baby. My husband doesn't get it, I have no one to talk about this besides him, nobody knows I'm pregnant except us. He is upset with me, he says I'm being selfish, that bring a sick person into this world doesn't make sense and that if it turns out the baby has the severe disease he will never forget himself because he would be the main cause and he will never forget me because I want to have him. We argued last night and we both cried, I love my husband so much, but I love my baby too.
I can tell my husband is really hurt, and he's making me feel like an asshole. Am I one? Am I being a selfish bitch? Is it better to just interrupt the pregnancy? I haven't slept at all. I want my baby to be healthy and I can't stop thinking there's a little chance he will have a mild form of the anemia. I'm not against abortion but I want to have him. I don't know where else to post this...
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AITA for thinking my best friend is gay?
|
We've been friends since we were seven. He's always been extremely flamboyant and feminine. I didn't start thinking he was gay until we got to middle school. He really acts very gay, not even just in personality. I remember in 8th grade there was an incident where he kissed a substitute teacher who was male. So, I've generally for most of our friendship, saw him as gay. It's not like I rubbed it in his face or told other people. I just always thought that he was homosexual. We're in the same college right now and we requested to be roommates. So, we live together. He invited this girl over and she kissed him and told him that she liked him, I was astounded. He said that he'll think about it and I asked him about it. He was extremely offended and hurt when I told him that I thought he was gay. He told me that he's straight and I was just blank. It's been extremely awkward between us and I just don't know what to tell him. I feel like an asshole.
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"description": "bringing up something a friend said that bothered me even after they admitted it was wrong",
"pronormative_score": 2,
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|
WIBTA for bringing up something a friend said that bothered me even after they admitted it was wrong?
|
So today one of my friends (25m) was doing a triathalon and it was his first one. My boyfriend and I went to the race to support him at the finish line.
Upon us walking in, I said in half-jest to my boyfriend that our friend would be pissed he was coming in behind women participants. I said this cause our friend can be a bit of an ego maniac, and because he labels himself as a feminist but his behavior often contradicts that.
So simple joke, race ends, we head to brunch. And my friend literally said “some primal part of me started running the race and was like ‘fuck I can’t let a bunch of girls beat me’ but then by the end I couldn’t catch them”.
I didn’t know what to say at the time, but it bothers me that 1) my suspicions of him being latently prejudiced were confirmed, 2) he didn’t address the fact that what he said was sexist, just that he ultimately wasn’t able to keep their pace.
I dunno, I don’t want to nag him cause clearly he knows it’s a fucked up thing to think, but I also see it as an opportunity to point out to him some of the other stuff he does that is sexist to me. He’s really shit with boundaries and I do get a little upset when he goes around calling himself a feminist to get himself some v. It reminded me a little bit of the recent Liam Neeson controversy where he said something fucked up and apologized but missed the bigger picture.
So, WIBTA if I tried to broach on this topic to demonstrate some of the other offensive behaviors he exhibits?
**TL;DR**: friend made iffy comment, see it as window to a larger much needed discussion, but also want to avoid shaming him since he did admit it wasn’t right
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|
AITA for my partner cheating on their girlfriend with me?
|
Posting on a throwaway so I don't get called an SJW lol. This happened a couple years ago, wondering about it now. So, I was in a long-distance open relationship with who we'll call Taylor (they're non-binary so going with a gender neutral name). It didn't work out and honestly I don't really remember why, we just stopped talking. Some months later, we started talking again. They had a girlfriend, who we'll call Sarah, at this point who, honestly, I really really didn't like. There wasn't any particular reason for me to dislike her, I just got bad vibes from her. I asked Taylor privately if their relationship was open (because our relationship was open and we're both generally polyamarous people) and they said not for romance but yes for sex. So we sexted and did erotic roleplay for months. And, well, I started falling for them again. So I told them that I loved them. Their response was confusing, they said they loved me too but not in a romantic way. They said that if they weren't dating Sarah, they'd date me. And they said that we could still have a relationship together, just not a romance. That seemed off-putting to me. So I decided to tell Sarah about it. Turns out, she didn't even know about the sex part of it. And she wasn't okay with it. She freaked the fuck out and told Taylor that if they wanted to still be with her, they had to block me, so they did. AITA here?
|
HISTORICAL
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EVERYBODY
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WRONG
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EKHd0ndS2VjkbAsBkv4c25V7ebh0VYgG
|
arsm6a
|
{
"description": "taking out a bank loan instead of borrowing money from my inlaws",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for taking out a bank loan instead of borrowing money from my inlaws?
|
My wife and I are a married couple in our 30s with two young children. I am the sole income earner and although I make a good living (approximately 150k annually) overspending and some unexpected expenses have put us in a bit of a tight spot. We need to come up with some money that we don't have in a relatively short period of time.
My preference is to simply get a loan from the bank for the amount that we need. My wife wants us to ask her parents for an interest-free loan. She wants to avoid paying interest and believes borrowing money from her parents is a better option.
While I acknowledge that avoiding interest is ideal, I absolutely do not want to borrow money from my inlaws. First, I would be ashamed to do so as I've never been one to borrow from friends or family and feel I might lose respect in the eyes of my inlaws. Second, my inlaws are rather judgmental and have already criticized our spending in the past even when they didn't know we were having any financial problems. I don't want to be in debt to them and such a situation would be extremely uncomfortable for me.
I have pretty much decided to borrow from the bank. My wife is upset and says I'm not doing what's best for our family. Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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XGT9eWuD19CQkAjPFV1nX0aqVp1I2iir
|
axden4
|
{
"description": "wanting to spend my birthday with my girlfriend this year",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to spend my birthday with my girlfriend this year?
|
My girlfriend brought up a trip she was planning with her club (college club) to go down to another city 6 hours away to teach kids in school for the weekend. This trip happened to land on the day of my birthday. I felt really sad about not being able to spend my birthday with her because we're in a long distance relationship (2 hours away) and I haven't been able to celebrate my birthday with her physically there in 2 years. She says she can stay if I'd like but I don't want my own selfish needs to get in the way of her agenda. AITA for wanting her to spend the day with me? I just need some feedback on what the right thing to do is.
|
HISTORICAL
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NOBODY
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RIGHT
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WRklvebcz9rsf6qOaeSaAf8BZSJubh3n
|
ahpu2b
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{
"description": "walking out of a family Christmas party because my mother's new abusive husband (who I was told would not be present) showed up",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA if I walk out of a family Christmas party because my mother's new abusive husband (who I was told would not be present) showed up?
|
Some brief backstory for context: my mom divorced her ex-husband for being emotionally abusive. She remarried this guy, who turned out to be this *super* paranoid and psychologically abusive / controlling conspiracy theorist who has worked very hard to cut her off from our entire family over the last few years. My mom met him while she was working for him, they both got fired for dating each other while he was her superior, he decided the best thing to do would be to start a trucking business so they could be on the road together, alone, all the time, with nobody else in contact. I see her maybe once every 6-8 months and every time I see her it's like I'm talking to a different person - she used to be very hyperactive, self-aware and attentive (she was a healthcare worker for ~10 years), but now she struggles to hold focus for even a few minutes at a time, becomes confused very easily, has trouble following objects with her eyes, etc. We know for a fact they use some light drugs (mostly marijuana) and we suspect there might be more (for reasons of which I won't go into great detail for the sake of brevity), but are unable to confirm at this time. I lived with them for a short time after we all lost our jobs (I was in between jobs myself, I came into work one day and was told the branch was closing that day and to go home because we were all out of jobs), during this time he assaulted me physically on multiple occasions, and attempted to assault my wife on two occasions (both situations in which she said nothing and had nothing whatsoever to do with beforehand, she just happened to be in the room while he and I were arguing), to the point where my wife will not enter a room or attend an event if he's present (and I feel the same way). I got a job shortly after that and moved out with my wife, and ever since, all attempts to redress grievances with him have ended in physical violence, to the point where my wife and I have both deemed it a lost cause and cut him out of our lives. I've told my mother that I am happy to stay in touch but wherever he is, I won't be. We keep in touch but less so than before, and she still occasionally tries to guilt us into hanging out with them (she can't seem to divorce the fact that I *do* still care about her, and I tell her so every time we talk, from the fact that I don't want anything to do with her husband because he is a danger to those around him). She has also tried to trick us into hanging out with him - when I got my first promotion, I planned to meet her and my wife for dinner, and she showed up with her husband after explicitly telling me he wouldn't be there; when I asked her why she lied, I expected her to just say she forgot because that's what she usually claims, but this time she said something to the effect of, 'I just think you guys could hash it out and get along if you'd just talk to each other.' To which I responded, we've tried that, and this is the result. Take it or leave it. We ended up having a huge fight, he stormed out and she was crying, and it was a bad day for everyone involved. This sort of thing happened off and on for awhile.
**Ok, now for what actually happened:** my mom told me she was getting the family together (mostly immediate relatives, since we live all over the country all spread out) for a sort of lightweight Christmas party on the morning of (I already had plans for dinner at my wife's family's house so we were splitting the day up), and I specifically asked if the husband would be there. She told me he was going to be at his parents' house that day so not to worry because he *definitely* wouldn't be there this time. I spoke with my wife about it and we decided in advance that if my mother lied to us again (or 'forgot') about him being there, we were just going to leave without saying a word. I didn't say exactly that to my mother, but we'd spoken on the subject of this man multiple times since the original incidents and I was always very clear that I did not intend to remain anywhere if he was there. So we show up the day of, and lo and behold, a few minutes later in walks the husband, greeting me and my wife like he wasn't even aware that I was told he'd be gone. I looked over at my mom, she just smirked at me as if daring me to walk out. So I took my wife's hand and we got up and walked out. My mom acted surprised and said, "Where are you going? Aren't you going to eat anything?" and I told her "You know where I'm going," I thanked her for inviting us and for the food and we left.
Two days later I find out that she's gone to everyone in my extended family and told them that we "ruined Christmas" for her and she feels like we don't love her anymore and we're ungrateful, etc. How do I find this out? Because we get a call from my grandmother bitching us out and *demanding* that we go apologize to her and buy her a special Christmas present, and how dare we treat her this way, etc. etc. I ended up having it out with my mom via text, she tried to draw all these false equivalencies between my wife and her husband, directly attacking her in some cases ("I wouldn't have chosen her as your wife either, but I respect your life choices, why can't you respect mine?"). I told her that my wife has never assaulted her and I don't appreciate the comparison. After essentially backing herself into a corner with four or five more such unabashedly hypocritical accusations blowing up in her face, she says, "Fine, I just won't ever have a family event again." And I told her, "Ok. If you change your mind let me know." And that's the last time I've spoken to her since.
I love my mom, I really do. She was my rock through a lot of an emotionally abusive childhood and I learned a lot of my work ethic from her, and I still respect her for that. But it's getting to the point where she's making me choose between her and my own (and my wife's) safety, by continuously lying and misrepresenting situations to try and get us to hang out with her and her husband who has a very long history of violence, with us as well as with others. I felt bad for walking out during Christmas (especially because the rest of my immediate family doesn't know the entire story of what happened, my older sister thought I walked out because she was there, we haven't spoken in awhile and used to fight a lot but we're pretty even now, or we were before this). But I feel like I had to draw a line *somewhere* because this keeps happening despite every attempt I make to get it through to her that he is not welcome around us. I haven't placed any ultimatums on her to compel her to not see him, or force them to not hang out. I've told her it's her life and she's free to live it, and I'm not cutting her out of my life or making her choose between me and him. I just don't want to be in the same room as him as all because I'm sick of every single encounter escalating to violence, and she can't accept that.
I mostly just want to know how in or out of touch I am on this line of reasoning, according to random people online who will probably see this from a different perspective. I don't intend to argue at length with any commenters here unless questions need answering / straightforward clarifications need to be made. So am I the asshole here? Or am I justified in my decision? Thanks in advance for reading / consideration.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
PMBbSTWAyEua7Z3MiSful8xkqWFHbmzC
|
b760le
|
{
"description": "reporting a classmate for cheating",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
WIBTA for reporting a classmate for cheating?
|
Hi, I'm in a snapchat precalculus group chat with some classmates, and every now and then this same person sends pictures of the test/quizzes. So, I really like this teacher and I don't like how he's being undermined like this, so would I be the asshole if I reported the cheater?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
SPAhsodS3MHgiS5crt1CI0zV5MQuy9qA
|
b3gsu6
|
{
"description": "not wanting to date a girl who stayed with someone constantly cheating on her and living off of her",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not wanting to date a girl who stayed with someone constantly cheating on her and living off of her?
|
I (26m) met a cool girl (24f) and things were going great. So I have a history of attracting damaged women. One of my exes was a side chick for a year and the other stayed with a guy for two years who she constantly caught cheating, both ended horribly and I was miserable. I honestly am trying to avoid girls who have this kind of baggage or damage. The girl I’m dating let some guy move in after 2 months because he got kicked out. He ended up staying for 2 years I guess and the whole time he was cheating on her, he also lived off her and she would always give him money. She was loyal the whole time and he was also physically abusive. To me this is a turn off because in my opinion it shows a lack of self respect and basically letting someone completely use you in every way possible. From my experience you lose something in these situations and I don’t want another potentially low effort or shady relationship. AITA for thinking this way?
Tldr: met a girl who let her ex completely walk all over her, AITA for thinking this is a huge turn off?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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BmEqPUTZbTvaM6l4fJ4EBmrJ0hRedkan
|
aw0tlc
| null |
AITA? Didn’t receive what I ordered even after emails, and I can’t help but feel guilty for making them ‘re’send it
|
I need some closure on this:
I ordered an item in July from a company that says it usually takes 6-8 weeks to complete. In December (about the 20th) I got the email that it had been completed but never received a message about the shipping of it, so I emailed their support to ask when it would ship.
They said that they were concerned since all of the July orders were marked as finished and shipped. They said they would tell the manager and have me a tracking number in the next 3 weeks. So three weeks go by, i email them again, and they don’t respond, so I email the next week, and they say hey will have one reshipped. I feel bad because i don’t know if the issue was on their part or not and I feel like I may have influenced them to ship another even if it really wasn’t their fault (shipping error).
TL;DR - Didn’t receive product, feel like I may have annoyed the producer enough to just send me what I ordered.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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PxA77VrF5BQtyr9eAJHLMFEzBKlqNq9z
|
arhz3b
|
{
"description": "not having any photos of me for my parents to make into a digital scrapbook",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
aita for not having any photos of me for my parents to make into a digital scrapbook.
|
So from the age of about 5 I've never liked my photo being taken, I would throw tantrums and would threaten people if they tried to take a photo of me.
one example was when 7 year old me locked myself in the middle of winter outside on the deck because dad wanted a family photo, I stayed there for 20 minutes telling dad I hated him and he was a horrible father.
My parents never did anything to correct this and just let it happen. I'm now 20 and still refuse to have my picture taken (I'm better now and can have my photo taken on occasion)
This is where the issue starts, mum had this idea to started digital album of photos of me and my sister. She calls up asking if I have any photos of me as a child cos she can't find them, I tell her that I have none and she would have them, she then remembered my hate for taking photos and is now super mad that she cant look back on memories.
my thing is that mum and dad saw these tantrums and did nothing about it and are now pissed at me, I'm now feeling like a asshole even tho I was a kid back then.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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n8HhUYCKfh4PXCXKhKxSdjBoEH4f5OsZ
|
9y72e3
|
{
"description": "telling a friend their boyfriend is smoking again",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA For telling a friend their boyfriend is smoking again
|
As the title says I recently told a friend that their BF, whom I'm also good friends with, picked up the habit again. I thought it was a good idea at the time to tell my friend since the BF promised he'd never do it again. Smoking was something my friend was not ok with but I think I should've just kept my mouth shut. They a had huge argument. I apologized to the BF the next day but the damage has been done. I thought I made the right call to tell my friend but I'm not so sure anymore.
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
OaEVL6XIWoJcw0kYgWbglhYAjielAS0v
|
az8fo0
|
{
"description": "reporting a steward for pressuring me to swap seats on an airplane",
"pronormative_score": 123,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA for reporting a steward for pressuring me to swap seats on an airplane?
|
Shortly after boarding for a 2 1/2 hour flight home, I was approached by a steward who asked me if would mind swapping seats with another passenger.
I asked where his seat was, and he told me that it was about 8 rows back and a middle seat.
I told him that I'd prefer not to, since I was in an aisle seat and had paid extra (not much, about $20) for the "economy plus" section that gave me additional leg room.
The steward said that is why he wanted to swap seats, the other passenger was taller than I.
I mentioned that regardless, I had paid for the extra leg room and booked early to get the aisle seat.
He responded that he'd give me some free drinks to make up for it to which I replied, no thank you, buy I don't drink.
He continues to push me on it saying how uncomfortable the other passenger would be. Finally the pressure, and frankly the slight embarrassment of this continued conversation / confrontation got the best of me and I gave in.
I was pretty steamed the whole ride, and when I got home I called the airline and complained about the situation and about the steward, by name.
In retrospect I feel a bit bad. What I should have done was just said stood my ground and stuck with the "no" or just been gracious and swapped with the other guy. (He was about 6'6" and I'm a bit under 6'.)
For sure I could have been nicer in the situation, but AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
wVTAhwMDyym9IHvy11ruJVUcNwnOkXvU
|
b8f8mf
|
{
"description": "snapping at a classmate",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for snapping at a classmate?
|
I started at a new school at the beginning of this school year and it has mostly been nice. But something happened and I have felt so bad about it ever since...
So in math class we were split up in pairs (or buddies as they said) and all was well... for half a lesson. The guy I was put with had no drive to study for himself, and often just expected me to answer questions so he could copy. It got to the point where I couldn't work because he would constantly say: "what is the answer to this?", expecting me to drop all my things to help him. My grade seriously dropped that semester, to a new level of low for me, because I couldn't focus.
And honestly, I should have been fine with this.. Mayne this was his way of asking for help? And I usually NEVER snap or act mean to people jut I don't know what happened, I just told him to get his stuff together and at least try and not leech off of my work.
We aren't math buddies anymore, as the class got split into higher and standard maths, but even though it's been about 2 months since I snapped, I still feel so mean about what I did. I don't know much about him, but I just heard recently that he has depression (or has struggled with it before) and idk I feel like I should have been a kinder person. Is there any other way I could have done this? Am I the asshole for wanting to focus on my own schoolwork? I have no clue...
(This was written on mobile, and English is not my first language, so I apologize if this was horrid to read layout/grammar wise)
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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YpYjdrfyEvbpiWGHuh3pAibXnZp5rVoz
|
awt29c
|
{
"description": "lying to my mum about applying for jobs",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for lying to my mum about applying for jobs?
|
Some background info. I have recently graduated from university and was lucky enough to get a graduate job, pretty decent wage and an ideal location. I went to loads of job interviews before I got it, completely fed up with them so my plan is to stay at this job for a few years, gain some experience and maybe move on to another career.
Now for my mum. Fyi my mum is lovely but sometimes she can get incredibly worked up over things. She constantly tells me about jobs that's be has seen and that I should apply for them, majority of them are less pay than what I'm currently on and literally nothing to do with what I studied.
For a while, every time I told her I'm not applying for the job, she would get really pissed off and shout a lot and actually huff with me for a few days.
Now, I'm just sick of it and have started to lie every time she brings up a job. I'll tell her I've applied then a few weeks later she'll ask me if I've heard back and my response will obviously be no.
I hate lying to my mum, but it makes it so much easier for me not having to listen to her shit about it.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
1B5ipFxChY0XhA5x9rnbgad8QZSLJp11
|
avvybg
| null |
AITA for: Ghosting her after lying as to why she missed the date.
|
This happened about a year ago.
I went to my friends (L) beach birthday party and met her friend we'll call her "R". Now R and I hit it off immediately and spent most of the time at the party chatting w/ each other. By the end of the party we (whole group) agreed to meet at L's house (so I didn't ask for her number thinking I'd see her later) but the get together was canceled. Next day she adds me on FB. We start a conversation and eventually I ask her out. We go out date is great but I chicken out and don't try to kiss her. Next day we're at a friends house and while talking we make it clear that we both like each-other and make out. We keep talking and I ask her out again and she tells me she's not ready for something serious. I tell her that something serious is the only thing I'm interested in but I'd be ok with just getting to know her.
we don't see or talk for about a week.
Next time I saw her we end up in the same group get together where we once again established:
- that we like each-other
- I don't wan't anything casual
- She doesn't feel ready
Nothing eventful happens for about 3 days; until, my fried hits me up just to "hang" I asked him what he had in mind and his response was "just chill". When I get there R is sitting next to the only open spot and we star watching some shows. eventually we she starts leaning on me while I didn't mind. She then reached for my hand which I was actually not ok with. I informed her that I was getting mixed signals to which she replies "they're not mixed" and holds my hand tightly. later on that week I asked her out and she said she'd be busy until next Monday. Monday comes around and I confirm with her @ noon no-response. Try her again @ 4 no response, same thing @6. Then I see on FB that she was somewhere else with L. (later L told me they were consoling another friend [partner cheated] and she didn't answer because she was afraid Introducing me would be too much stress) Next day I asked her about what had happened and she told me the whole bit about consoling her friend and "I didn't have time to check my messages" now the thing that really bothered me is that she claimed that she had not ignored the calls (when L had already told me she had).
Now another reason I didn't contact her again was that I felt my behavior was that of an overtly jealous boyfriend.
|
HISTORICAL
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NOBODY
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RIGHT
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UYOUcyxrOTj5Up7YqdBS2Mr0seB0cCPf
|
b4u2ym
|
{
"description": "ignoring my friend after he called my housemate because he (mistakenly) believed I was very depressed",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 10
}
|
AITA for ignoring my friend after he called my housemate because he (mistakenly) believed I was very depressed?
|
**TLDR: I made a bad joke over text that sounded like I was depressed and about to do something serious. I tried to clear it up. My best friend thought I had a plan in place anyways and called my housemate. I haven't spoken to him since, and now I don't know if I can be friends with him.**
About 2 weeks ago, I was texting a really good friend of mine. He was going on about long lasting anticoagulants and I had a laugh because they're medicines designed to help with heart problems by thinning out blood. I thought it was ironic that we'd have to wait for them to kick in. I jokingly texted him that we should all just die instead and he taken aback.
Here's where I fucked up. When he asked me what I meant I was like I'm just tired and I want to sleep, idk what I'm saying. He said he thought I was planning to do something serious, and I reassured him I had never been happier. I realised I sounded very depressed and spent a good hour awake afterwards to make sure he understood I was ok, and then I went to sleep.
The next day after I came home from work, my housemates asked to speak to me. He called one of them and expressed concern. She freaked out and then got my other housemate, and they decided to knock on my door and check on me. (My housemates and I are trusting of each other so we tend to keep our doors unlocked when we're home.)
Needless to say I got pissed at him. I thought it wasn't right of him to call my housemates because I spent ages clearing it up. Even if I was that depressed, to tell others is such a break of trust. He's done it before. He told some friends that I wasn't responding to some drugs when I was first diagnosed with a chronic autoimmune disorder. We had a long talk then about making sure to ask me before spreading intimate conversations we've had. Frankly I feel betrayed he's done it again.
But at the same time I understand where he's coming from. I have a long history of depression; I'm a former victim of domestic abuse and I have PTSD. I used to be on antidepressants. I've also only recently been diagnosed with said chronic illness. I understand he didn't have ill intentions when he called.
I just can't talk to him though. I feel we'll have to go through the same conversation we went through previously. I'm only just coming out with my story of abuse, having only recently celebrated a year apart from my abusers. I have had a hard time trusting people. He's apologised to me profusely but I don't know if I can trust him again, especially because this is the second time he's told our friends something when I didn't want him to.
AITA for not wanting to speak to him and for ignoring him in the first place? And WIBTA if I chose not to remain friends with him after this? I feel so morally conflicted. Sometimes I feel it's justified and other times I have to remind myself it wasn't ill intention.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 10,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 10
}
|
WRONG
|
kJxDthLTN37J9R3YN8ZoEYGDM2XLkE5i
|
b3x7je
|
{
"description": "not wanting to be pregnant anymore",
"pronormative_score": 137,
"contranormative_score": 65
}
|
AITA for not wanting to be pregnant anymore?
|
Nothing is wrong with the baby. The baby is perfectly healthy. But I am not. I am 19 weeks into this pregnancy and have spent 80% of my day EVERY DAY (since a few days after I found out) vomiting my guts out. We have spent thousands of dollars in emergency room fees because I haven't been able to keep food or water down and have needed IV fluids and feeding tubes WEEKLY. I am losing weight when I should be gaining. Meds don't work. I just want to stop throwing up. So much that I am willing to terminate this pregnancy and consider adoption or surrogacy.
Husband does not want me to. He keeps telling me to push through, but I have read about my condition and I know that some women have it for their ENTIRE pregnancies. And I honestly can't do this any longer. I feel like he shouldn't have that much of a say since it isn't his body going through this.
I scheduled an appointment for an abortion. Husband freaked out. Said he wouldn't drive me. (I can't drive myself because of the nausea/vomiting so frequently.) He keeps going on and on about how he's the dad and it's his child too so he should get a say. Well, of course he should. And I've listened to his opinion. But what more can I do? I don't want this pregnancy anymore.
Seriously reddit, am I the asshole for "not giving him a say"? I feel like the only way he'll be satisfied or feel that I've taken his opinion into consideration is if I don't get the abortion. But what about MY say? I don't want this!
FWIW, my OBGYN is supportive either way. She's not pushing me in either direction. Somehow the baby is completely normal and healthy and developing properly.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 63,
"OTHER": 79,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 58,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 137,
"WRONG": 65
}
|
RIGHT
|
4wZsBGAF4Bdpewh5rn28diG4XfRYEeZg
|
b2dv89
|
{
"description": "rescinding financial help to my dad",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I rescinded financial help to my Dad?
|
My dad is an honest, hardworking guy, but has always been financially unstable, running his own business with employees. I'm 27 (only child) and he has never asked me for help until now.
Last week he called me very upset and told me that he only had $300 in his account and needed help to pay bills. (He also has no CC because of his credit, so this is his only money). He asked for $2000–$3000. With that little in his account obviously I wanted him to pay his bills and also be able to eat, get gas, etc. I sent him a check for $2500 and figured after this hurdle was out of the way, we could figure out a long term plan.
Tonight we spoke again and he told me he went to his CPA and realized he actually has $4500. He seemed to think now everything is ok, but still needed my check to pay his employees and get more established. I asked him, if he has access to his bank account, how did he not realize this was the case? He said that his administrative employee told him he only had $300 and wouldn't be able to pay his employees, just to be mean to him.
You'll have to take my word that he's an honest guy, just clueless and naive. I don't think he was trying to trick me, but I feel that the situation is unfair to me because I gave him that money under the belief that he wouldn't be able to pay his mortgage or eat without it. With the money that he has, I could provide a smaller amount or help him figure out a better long-term plan.
The check is still in the mail to him. WIBTA I asked him not to cash the check and canceled it? I would obviously give him a heads up about it first.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
fAq2VI6KCkwxArNK7y1pNWkpgWDmhuCY
|
b4sg4p
|
{
"description": "asking out my sisters friend out",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA (16M) for asking out my sisters(16F) friend out.
|
Okay frist I'm one third of triplets we the 3 of us have the same friend group in school we sit at the same lunch table at school we talk to the same people at school and we basically share our friends well thier is this one girl in our friend group that I have had a crush on since freshmen year ... so last year. Although she is my friend to she is way more close with my sister Sarah. Well today I asked her out over snap not even 5 fucking minutes later I have my sister slamming on the door about to yell my ear off about its fucked up to ask out her friend. This girl really thinks it is just her friend she is part of our snap group she is all our friends when it comes to the group just because your asses flex your 100 plus day streak doesn't mean I'm not her friend so it shouldn't be a problem for me to ask her out so I asked one of our friends and he said you should have told her before hand he said it like this "like if she was asking out me we are the closest although she is friends with me she should ask if it's okay with you frist" and I'm like the fuck im not asking for my sisters blessing to ask out a girl and second I have told both of my sisters that I think this girl is hot so its not like this was not secret.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
ioQOMvfmtbATLFPXqX5mqNLHC7opw2W4
|
as3bdi
|
{
"description": "farting in front of people on on the train",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA For farting in front of people on on the train.
|
I was on the train when I suddenly needed to let one rip and the people around me gave me nasty looks. I mean we all do it, it’s a bodily function. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
WRONG
|
st9ZTXLOITvoaJRgnuR3S13amtb3F09J
|
amj159
|
{
"description": "upsetting my friend after calling her out for her hypocrisy",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for upsetting my friend after calling her out for her hypocrisy?
|
So this is my first time posting on this sub-reddit, or any sub-reddit in general, so sorry if this hasn't been done correctly. If this doesn't belong on this sub-reddit please tell me and I'll take it down. I also have a feeling that this may come off as one-sided as I'm not the best at being neutral but I'll try my best.
This incident seems pretty minor compared to the other stuff I've seen on this sub-reddit but I thought this would be the best place to post it.
For some context, I am an Indian teenage male and when most people talk about race at my school they call me black. I think that black is meant to describe those of African descendant but I think the kids at my school call me this as it is fairly rural and white-dominated area with around 6 South-Asians (Pakistan, India, Sri Lanka etc...) and around 4 African people at my school so they just label us as one group. I try to tell them that I'm not actually black but they just ignore me and continue but that's a topic for another day.
On to the actual post, my friend is quite a committed Christian and takes her religion seriously and gets very upset when people make jokes about Christianity and tells people not to make them, even when there is no malicious intent meant by the jokes, which I think is fair enough. I used to make offensive Christian jokes but after seeing her get upset at them I try not to but I have to admit that I end up laughing sometimes when people make Christian jokes because I can't help but find them funny. I don't normally get offended when people make jokes about my race.
So we were hanging around and chatting in our group of friends and she asks me if she can take a photo of me so that she can turn me into a goth in facetune as she'd done it with other people so I obliged. We were all talking and then someone brings up the time that one of my friends jokingly took a picture and tried to turn me white. Someone brings up the picture on their phone and my friend sees it and says 'You turned him yellow, not white. I could do a much better job,' and so she takes the photo that she took to turn me into a goth and starts editing it to make me white. She says things like 'This is much better' while she's making it and I find it funny at first but then it starts to kinda piss me off as I find it hypocritical of her to get offended by Christian jokes and tell people not to make them but then go around and think it's perfectly fine to make racist jokes like this. I try to play my annoyance off as a joke.
The next day, I try messing up her glue stick with my fingers as a laugh and she says, 'No! You're rubbing black all over my glue' as a joke, and I say, after still being slightly annoyed because of yesterday, half-jokingly, 'What's wrong with black?' and she responds 'Black is far inferior when compared to white.' She continues to make jokes to this effect throughout the day. In the afternoon when we're walking as a school group somewhere, we are talking and I don't remember how exactly but I end up bringing up her photoshopping me white the previous day. We joke about it at first but then I finally bring up how I think it seems a little unfair that she thinks it's okay to make jokes about POC but it's too far to make jokes about Christianity. She responds by saying, 'That's different. It's religion, not race.' I then respond by saying, 'What's the difference? Aren't they both equally important?' Her best friend, who is also there, joins the discussion/argument and starts to agree with me. Both her best friend and I start saying about how race and religion are both equally important and ask why it's any different and when my friend tries to respond she is lost for words and can't come up with anything. Her best friend and I are both ranting and, admittedly, sort of ganging up on her. We weren't speaking aggressively but I still think it may have come across as ganging up and mid-way through us talking, my friend speed walks away, looking upset.
Am I the asshole here? I feel like she's treating religion as something more important because it's closer to her than race is but am I just being one-sided and being too over-sensitive to things that relate to me while not being sensitive enough to issues that relate to her? Am I the one being hypocritical?
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
WANdit723fSv2lUHeGf13uK2cQDdCf4G
|
ang3rc
|
{
"description": "getting a bully expelled because we had a fight",
"pronormative_score": 19,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting a bully expelled because we had a fight.
|
Full warning I am on mobile and from the UK so please don't expect to much as I am also a first time poster.
So background info I still go to highschool, but the one I go to is a bit rowdy because they except everyone who applies. The bully (we'll call him DB) has only one strike left before being expelled and hates me as some of his strikes come from incidents with me.
So it's a normal afternoon and I'm leaving school when a friend of mine asks if I could wait with him by the gates and so me being the kind soul I am accepted his request. We're just waiting when DB comes up and asks if he could wait with us and we obviously say he can.
I am listening to music and pacing around in front of the school gates whilst friend and DB talk. All of a sudden DB gets up and jumps on my back whilst I am turned away. As you can guess I was surprised and as I could not hold his weight, I fall in some mud along with him. I am obviously angry so the exchange of words go like this:
Me: WTF! Why did you do that you twat?
DB: oh go fuck of and cry you pussy!
Me: nah you messed up my stuff ( pointing to my muddy uniform and bag)
DB: oi fight me then.
As I try and think of any type of excuse to leave he punches me in the stomach and I double over. Now I am really pissed and hit him who knows where. so we go at for a bit when some girls I know and tell us to quit it.
I'm tired at this point and a little bruised. One of the girls go back in to the school to get a teacher all the while I'm sat opposite the road from DB whilst my friend is talking to him. Finally a teacher comes out but it is the headteacher/principal of our school.
We start explaining what happened when all of a sudden DB stars spinning a web of lies all while smirking at me saying things like "I guess I could forgive him." And all that and so I have to show the headteacher proof of what he has done in the past and eye witness statements from my friend.
I found out the next week that DB was expelled but people think I am the asshole for fighting him even though he started it.
Am I the asshole.
Leave tips and strategies for posting on Reddit in the comments.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 19,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 19,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
Waiw56uikDqTxde66UOBSXdxLokvJJDa
|
awa0dn
|
{
"description": "not wanting to leave the room when I fart",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 17
}
|
aita for not wanting to leave the room when I fart?
|
i’ve had stomach issues for YEARS. when I fart, it smells BAD. even I can admit it’s putrid. it smells like nair. but farting helps my stomach feel better so I don’t want to hold it in. my family is sick of me farting and stinking out rooms. they say the smell makes them gag. so they think I should get up and go to the other part of the house before I fart and they want me to not fart in the car because they have to roll the windows down. but I feel like that’s ridiculous and holding it in makes me feel sick. aita?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 16,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 17
}
|
WRONG
|
7FRcnxxaM3jnxseJ5Ng1QshYZdqUAWQh
|
9tewly
|
{
"description": "towing people from my paid parking spot",
"pronormative_score": 23,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for towing people from my paid parking spot?
|
At my old apartment complex I used to pay $30 a month for a good spot in the parking lot. The actual sign said “paid parking [my name] violators will be towed”. I remember coming home from a long shift at work and the parking lot was full and someone was parked in my spot. I was pretty pissed and didn’t want to risk parking in a business lot all night so I towed them. After that time I made up my mind that I would tow anyone in my spot until the end of my lease. I ended up towing seven cars in one year.. If you think I’m an asshole then someone agrees with you because there is a huge key mark on my passenger side door. You be the judge, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 23,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 23,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
jUoVop5vDO8pIYZ5SP998mdOcRLRMXd1
|
ah3ufn
|
{
"description": "suggesting that my grandfather should know that he has alzheimer and parkinson, and that euthanasia is an option if he so wants it",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for suggesting that my grandfather should know that he has alzheimer and parkinson, and that euthanasia is an option if he so wants it?
|
Recently my family found out that my grandfather has a combination of alzheimers and parkinson in a relatively advanced state. The doctor says that he might be lucid for a year if he's lucky and that he will start loosing memory, free movement, speech and may even forget how to eat or go to the bathroom. My grandfather does not know this because we talked to the doctor outside while he was inside the room.
My family is working on how to keep this information from him because he has had suicidal tendencies before and they fear that he might kill himself. He has said multiple times that he'd rather die than rot in a bed unable to move or speak.
So know comes the part where I suggest that we tell him that he's sick, that he's not gonna get better and that he should decide what he wants to do. He has always said that he'd rather die, so I mentioned that he should have that option too should he decide that he doesn't wanna fight an innescapable and horrible death. Now my family is extremely furious at me for hating my grandfather and being negative. I work in hospitals so I've seen first hand how horrible his life is going to be soon. If I was in the same position as him I would honestly choose to die too. My family is extremely religious so they believe that only god can decide when he dies.
I know that what I said was cold hearted but am I an asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
jLW4aJEJaKM7ygd1V3WSSRrA2xOyqpPr
|
b9yb3c
|
{
"description": "asking my dad to stop talking to my ex husband or cutting him (my Dad) out of my life",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
WIBTA if I asked my Dad to stop talking to my ex husband or I will cut him (my Dad) out of my life?
|
My Dad and I have never really been the closest, but I absolutely do love him and he is my father and I cannot imagine a life with him not in it. That being said, he talks to my ex husband more than he talks to me.
My ex husband and I had a very tumultuous marriage which resulted in a nasty divorce. We still have to talk to each other, but only because we have three kids together and as of right now we share custody of two of them. The divorce really put a strain on a lot of my family members because my ex husband involved everybody he could in personal matters. It sort of drove a wedge between my father and I and we haven’t been as close since.
Recently, my ex husband has been throwing jabs at me about how often he talks to my Dad. The issue is I haven’t been able to see or get ahold of my Dad since Christmas. I feel like my Dad has started to pick his ex son in law over his own daughter. My ex has informed me that my Dad is visiting my brother in the same damn city as me, but my Dad hasn’t reached out to me. I was going to go visit my brother with my kids anyhow, so I can see my Dad as well this weekend.
Would I be the asshole if when I’m visiting my brother if I were to ask my Dad to stop talking to my ex husband or to cut me out of his life as his daughter? I feel crappy even thinking about basically giving my Dad an ultimatum, but I am not sure what else to do at this point.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
AMOibRBuTLFqJf6axgzaL0I4cgLxdbxf
|
a749zq
|
{
"description": "interfering with my friend's pedophilic type relastionship",
"pronormative_score": 60,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for interfering with my friend's pedophilic type relastionship?
|
I have a 17yr old friend, let's call him James, who's dating a 12 year old girl named Ally. (Not real name) Whenever I bring up her age, he uses the usual excuse. "Our love is true, you're just jealous" And when I tell him I have no reason to be jealous, he ignores me. One day, he told me how age is just a number, and I couldn't handle it and called him a pedo. He was extremely offended, which I can understand, but that's a quite a difference in age. He said, "You wouldn't care if a 13yr old dated a 12yr old, would you" "Of course I wouldn't! They don't have a 5 yr age difference where one is begining puberty and ones practically done!" He completely ignored that, and says I'm his "best" friend and I should respect him for finding love in the first place! I was incredibly annoyed and walked off. I know his mother, and I told her all about his relationship and how he thinks age is "just a number". She made him break up with her, and now he's acting really sad. He won't let me near him, for forcing him to break up with " The love of his life". AMITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 60,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 60,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
jYfztEpik8WfS6rVozu6372ES3WACRFF
|
afpah0
|
{
"description": "wanting a divorce",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting a divorce ?
|
We've been together for almost 10 years. Both in mid 30's.
We got engaged and married right after college so we were both young, around 24.
I was the main provider for 9 of these last 10 years for various reasons ( she wanted to get another Bachelor Degree, another Master, extended Maternity for almost 3 years ) and I supported her with her wishes.
I stopped my pension contributions to support the household during these times so she could achieve her objectives.
Now for a bit more than one year she has a well paid job thanks to her efforts and dedication.
​
**Finances**
After her first salary she came home saying "Now I can afford to be independent and don't have to depend on you". I was really surprised and yep, it hurt.
Next few months she started to mention divorce more and more often, first as a joke and then more and more serious and I was being asked to "make up my mind".
Now I'm being asked constantly to "move out" and find another place to stay. This totally kills any attraction and I really don't feel like having sex with her anymore. I have not been the one deciding everything even if I was the provider, she always had it her way.
​
**Our son**
We have a son of 5 and I've been the one spending time with him, taking him to activities and basically spending week-ends together. We have an amazing relationship ( me and him) and he confesses sometimes that he's worried if mom will be angry today. She comes with us sometimes but most of the time she's going to stay at home because she is too tired to come.
He once told me , while we were heading to one of his favourite sports that he loves I go with him, not because I help him a lot but because he's happy to know I'm there to pick him up if he falls. This meant the world to me.
His mom is rarely going to his activities, maybe 1-2 weeks a year. We have weekly and it really hurts him up to a point where he's asking her why she's not coming pretty aggressive. She's always tired, does not feel like it, has menstruation or other stuff.
She gets angry really quick, from calm towards angry in a matter of 10-20 seconds and at one point she threw toys in the house or threatens our son to throw away his toys. Bagging them in the trash bin. I explain to her that is wrong after she's calm and she agrees that was wrong but she will do this again next time. I'm walking on egg shells and so does my son.
One day she threw something across the room at me that it broke the plate I was having next to me on the sofa. On a few rare cases she hit/spit me when she got really angry. She was sorry but never apologised and she's always telling me I'm too sensitive or I'm picking out of context certain words or behaviours. I kept calm and asked her to stop otherwise I'll call the police. She stopped and berated me for "threatening" with police.
I was never abusive, yes we raise our voice when a conflict but I never hit neither her or our son and have never checked phone, limited money or forbidden her to go out with friends. I always encouraged her to do that and also encouraged to find hobbies / favourite sports, stuff she loves and go for it.
Our son is picking up on things as one day in the house he started hitting me, then in the car, while going somewhere he told me "I only did that to make mommy happy and I knew you would not be mad at me".
He often tells me "Mom is too angry", "I wish mom would not get so angry all the time".
I'm torn because I was raised in an abusive home and I knew I don't want my kids to go through what I've been.
She would like another child, some weeks she is really nice and tells me it would be really cool, other weeks I'm told I "fucked up" her life and I should pack my things and leave. Sometimes when she's upset with me she'd talk alone or really express disgust about me - upper lip lifted and exactly the same expression she does at food she does not like. I pretend I don't see but I notice it. And it hurts.
I suggested therapy but she's basically telling me one has to be committed and dedicated for a relationship for therapy to work and that's definitely not me. She says therapy is too expensive and we would only throw money on things she already knows.
I came to believe I was the "safe" option when we got married as she was not financially independent and during these many years a lot of resentment has built and now as she can sustain herself she can be honest and speak her mind.
While I am aware that a divorce will have an impact on our son, I'd rather choose that over a loveless relationship without passion and filled with hatred.
We can't even argue as whatever I say turns into a " you misinterpreted that" or " you misunderstood that" and then she goes on about how I'm the asshole here and I never get it right.
We are sleeping separately ( I sleep on the couch because she cannot stand me snoring ) and this has totally killed our sex life. I really need hugs and cuddling and it really kills me inside every evening to sleep alone.
​
**Divorce**
She presses me to move out and to be the one telling our son that I was the one that wanted to leave. Because she does not be the one to "shatter his world". I love our son to death and I am sure that good parenting and being involved into his life will definitely trump any resentment he might have if I will be the one that left.
I am going to book a therapist on my own and walk through a few sessions of what I could make to do this easier for our son.
Then I will apply for divorce, move out and seek 50% custody.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
NY5a7LVDkYBHfjndAyuY0xdaQSeSzatn
|
a6xcf0
|
{
"description": "snapping at my daughter grandmother",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For snapping at my daughter grandmother?
|
So backstory. The grandmother has guardianship of my daughter. Her mother abandoned her when she was 5 and she never put me on the birth certificate so she could scam the system and get WIC. At age 7 she showed back up in her life. Now around 3 or 4 years ago the mother tried to get custody back.
The grandmother asked me to get involved so that she couldn't get custody of my daughter back. After months of trying to work out a resolution, we established that I was the father (which I already knew). Drafted visitation rights for me and the grandmother got to keep guardianship. (my daughter wanted to stay with her grandmother because she has been the only constant in her life.) So I am supposed to get my daughter during the summers and rotate years between Christmas and thanksgiving.
Now for even more backstory. I have been in my daughters life since she was born. Her mother had me so mentally and physically abused that I never stood up for myself. A few months after my daughter turned one, her mother who I was no longer with, destroyed all the photos I had of my daughter and punched me in my face. I made a decision to leave the state. I was either going to finally lay hands or her and go to jail or kill myself and neither would have been helpful to my daughter. So I moved in with my parents to get my shit together. I did. Graduated college. Got married and have been relatively happy since. I also pay child support, that I am not required by law to do, for my daughter because I feel its the right thing to do.
Back to the situation at hand. The grandmother has not been abiding by the court orders of the visitation. She brought her the first Christmas after court (she came as well). Then she brought her the next summer which she attended again. (she was abused as a child and apparently all men are rapists. Even me, the father of my daughter is capable of this so she won't let my daughter out of her sight.) Then she didn't send her on thanksgiving. I went down to where they live the next summer. She didn't send her for that Christmas or this summer. And now they were going to come this Christmas. At this point my daughter is 12 going on 13.
I speak to my daughter every two weeks just to be a constant in her life in some fashion. I had recently asked her what server she plays on minecraft (her favorite game). She asked why. I said because I wanted to play with her. I thought it would be a good way for us to connect because we both enjoy video games. She said she didn't want to play with me. Now this took me aback and I asked why. She said because she didn't want to. So we chatted on some other things and still confused I asked why she didn't want me to play with her.
Now this is where the grandmother, who apparently makes my daughter talk to me on speaker phone, takes the phone and starts saying I am 'pressuring' her to do something she does not want to do. I explained I wasn't pressuring her to do anything that I was just trying to understand. She continued to attack me and turning it into a big ordeal that I didn't consider it to be. Now she said "She is almost 13, you need to give her her space if you want to have a relationship with her". At this point I snapped and said "How can I have a relationship if you never let me see her god dammit!". Lets just say this did not go over well and the conversation was ended. Then the mother called. Hitting me with the usual insults and threats that I have grown a custom to. I never paid her child support (it was always paid to the grandma because she isn't allowed to have a bank account because of bank fraud). She'd take me to court and get 12 years back pay and everything I have paid is a gift. Calling me names and so forth. After holding the phone away from my ear for a majority of this, I hung up the phone.
Now the son of the grandmother calls. This is who the grandmother and my daughter live with. I tell him I know what he is going to say, not to talk to his mother like that. He tells me they are not going to be coming. That he is not sending them somewhere where they will be uncomfortable. He has arrested a lot of people and seen where this goes (he is a FBI agent and I still don't get how him arresting people correlates with this situation or is any of his fucking business). If we want to try again next year then that is an option but this year isn't happening. My daughter is upset and doesn't want to come or even want a present for Christmas from me. At this point I was so emotionally spent that I said OK and hung up.
So, am I the asshole for standing up for myself? I know how I went about it probably wasn't the most tactful but I feel like I was being unfairly attacked for something pretty trivial and the fact that she has yet to hold up her end of the bargain in the visitation agreement after I spent thousands of dollars to make it happen doesn't sit well with me at all. I have tiptoed around them for 12 years because I want to be in my daughters life. Today, I was just fed up and gave her a piece of my mind.
TL;DR Daughter was supposed to come visit for Christmas. Had conversation with daughter as to why she didn't want to play minecraft with me so we could have something to do together while we are apart. Grandma got on phone and started attacking me. I cussed at her. Now daughter isn't coming.
P.S. I understand my legal rights and that I could file a motion that the grandmother isn't abiding by the visitation order. I don't have the money to do so and I don't want to upset my daughter in trying to stick it to her grandmother for being a bitch.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
7qTKiquvgFBKacR2sg6K0QbwAXAW2f28
|
9z5nti
| null |
AITA at work for falling into depression
|
Since I had this afair with this girl from work, that i had a crush on for half year and fall mad in love and it went on like a month. I have been trying everything to keep her because i thought she is a good and nice person. Only to find out that she had other afairs and talk bad about me had me totally destroyed.
So assuming that she doesn't care about me i stoped talking to her. At the beginning she tried normal talk while i gave one word answers. Later she stoped talking completely. In order to continue my not talking to her i needed to avoid her in other situations like breakfast or coffee breaks.
Remember that i am still in love and it hurts just to be near her.
So the problem that i have now is that I didn't realize I stoped talking to everyone while doing this, i just couldn't. I could start telling everyone what kind of person she is but i want to be the better person. And as a result everyone is avoiding me. That had me even more depressed. I started making a lot of mistakes while being isolated.
I work there for 3 years and it was great and fun with everyone. The fact that no one even asked me if i had some problems or needed help is destroying me.
In conclusion I am looking for a new job.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
DH8JShm1CGsdsNl162nE9TZgmPnTTj79
|
aqfvks
|
{
"description": "asking my maid of honor to wear a certain dress to cover up her tattoos for my wedding",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 11
}
|
AITA for asking my maid of honor to wear a certain dress to cover up her tattoos for my wedding?
|
I asked my maid of honor to wear a specific kind of dress to cover up her tattoos for my wedding and she kind of freaked out and called some shallow and made me feel really bad for it. I have nothing against tattoos or her tattoos specifically at all I just feel like they draw a lot of attention in pictures or just in general and I wanted them to be covered for the wedding. She has shoulder tattoos on both arms and I just wanted to have her wear a dress that had half sleeves or even quarter sleeves. Anyways, she flipped on me when I told her why I was picking out all of these dresses with sleeves and I just don’t know if I am in the wrong here.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 11,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 11
}
|
WRONG
|
eQ6WfJw8KmkrFE6urpX3JtFCWztg6w3G
|
ak16fz
|
{
"description": "telling my dad I hate him",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling my dad I hate him
|
So it all started when I was playing a game with my friends and my dad walks into my room drunk.He sits down and says “get off I’m going to play on your red dead account and kill your horse and get a massive bounty” and I said “no play on your own account and sure you can”
We argued like this and then he saw the game I was playing (realm royale) and I got knocked in the game and turn into a chicken. So then he shouts at me saying shit like “a fucking chicken this is why your generation is the snowflake generation you gay pussy” so I say shut up etc. He then says “let me play elite dangerous then”
He got banned on elite dangerous over a year ago and he couldn’t actually play the game so he quit it and blamed me for doing something to his game. I said “I deleted elite because it took up a lot of storage and you couldn’t even play it” he then proceeds to shout at me saying “you deleted it you fucking evil cunt” “I knew it was your fault I got banned” (which made no sense at all)
Then he left the room and unplugged the whole houses power (my mother and sister where in the house, my mum was about to leave to her job as a nurse and she couldn’t get ready without power so she was stressing out). I then walk into the room and say why did you turn it off and he said “you deleted my game so I couldn’t play it so you don’t deserve WiFi” I then call him petty and insult him etc and then my mum says “turn the WiFi on *my name* didn’t do anything wrong stop being like this I need to leave for work soon” he then says to my mum “shut the fuck up he deserves it he won’t let me play on his account and he deleted my favourite game”
At this point I was fuming so I ran out saying “I fucking hate you”and went back to my room. A lot happened after that but that was basically the main turning point of the argument
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
uWeP2JzpDXW9uDUMjyWTPyQETEbfPdHQ
|
acgn8s
|
{
"description": "saying I didn't want my son to have autism",
"pronormative_score": 36,
"contranormative_score": 13
}
|
AITA for saying I didn't want my son to have autism?
|
I was chatting to my mate at work yesterday about autism and how he was diagnosed in his mid-twenties with it, as I was surprised he was on the spectrum as he seems completely normal. As we was chatting I mentioned that when my son was about 1.5 years old I was worried that he might have had autism. My mate suddenly got a bit defensive and started asking "why would I be worried?" etc. I think I upset him by saying I didn't want my kid to have autism - surely every parent is the same? I didnt WANT my child to have it but it wouldn't have changed how I felt about him. AITA for saying this?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 13,
"OTHER": 28,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 8,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 36,
"WRONG": 13
}
|
RIGHT
|
ELYYNxQnJltVMlYXX9eKk1JCUmSsIhAQ
|
b3u0yh
|
{
"description": "not wanting people to use my property without permission",
"pronormative_score": 25,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting people to use my property without permission?
|
I'm living in my grandfather's old house which has a large pond. I'm guessing he used to allow people to come fish on this property, but he died years ago and I don't know who any of these people are, and no one has so much as knocked on the door to ask permission to fish or even introduced themselves to me. Now that the weather is getting nice, I daydream all day at work about coming home and spending time outside only to find that I can't because people I don't know are here fishing without permission. There are people I have never seen before fishing outside right now. This makes me very angry, but my boyfriend who lives with me says it isn't a big deal. I have very bad social anxiety so confronting these people is not an option for me and I don't want to go outside if people I don't know are here. I'm also 19 and living alone for the first time, so it really scares me when people are here, especially when I am home alone. Am I wrong for being angry about this? And would it be wrong for me to close and lock my gate at all times?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 14,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 11,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 25,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
EnQvlx64CCxrjEzVXNXwRdNSYYY12ZyU
|
b98ln6
|
{
"description": "deciding not to have dinner with my parents anymore",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for deciding not to have dinner with my parents anymore?
|
Right now I'm bawling my eyes out so I'm sorry if this is all over the place. It's been a weird day.
​
My family is Jewish. My parents and I live close to each other. Occasionally we will have dinner at their place. It's never at my place because I'm "too messy" and I don't want to hear it, and also my place is hella tiny. Dinner isn't bad, but there are other issues.
​
First of all, my sister and my parents kind of ended up in a weird war based on my sister attempting independence and my parents making fun of her every step of the way. This includes sniping at her during dinner when I'm around and I feel like I have to defend her. I mean she's married for god's sake, let her be a goddamn adult!
​
Secondly, I have mental health issues and sometimes I need to just go home and just...not do shit. It's not a problem for most people because they understand the concept of running out of spoons mentally (I don't make a habit out of this and I try to only do this when I am really REALLY drained and I think the activity would make things worse), but for my parents it's a mortal sin. I did this for the first time ever last week and they are calling me "selfish" over it. But my body just couldn't handle it. Hearing them bitch about my sister, about me, about their "friends", being ~~forced~~ asked to clean up their place while hearing about how bad my place is...I couldn't deal.
​
Since they can't understand that I can't just decide when I run out of energy, I've decided I'm not eating dinner with them anymore because that way I won't be selfish. They can't be mad about me walking out on things I never agreed to right? This also includes a large Passover dinner coming up. The issue is that my sister, partly due to the issues above, also said she couldn't go to this dinner and my parents just assumed I was going. I literally have no other plans that day, but I don't want to deal with all the other bullshit on a Friday night when the food sucks balls anyway because god forbid corn syrup be the 54th ingredient on a Hershey's chocolate bar that has 54 ingredients on the label.
My dad said that Passover was a "family tradition" but it's kind of dead now and my sister and I are grown ups who need to make our own traditions now.
​
My parents have given me the silent treatment after I told them that I wasn't coming over for dinner anymore, including for Passover but I want to know if I'm the asshole for not attending.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 2,
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
fEePv8Fhr6qIjG4jSCXdPhts3dcQdlcx
|
ahc17b
|
{
"description": "feeling no sympathy and blocking an old friend who tried to kill herself? parents upset at me",
"pronormative_score": 36,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for feeling no sympathy and blocking an old friend who tried to kill herself? Parents upset at me.
|
I am 19 and the girl in question is 21. We have known each other since I was 8 years old, and she used to be my best friend.
I know she hasn’t had the best life and I am sympathetic on that part. Her parents were dead beat drug addicts, however her and her two sisters were adopted by their grandparents pretty early on. Their grandparents were strict, but also had some good sides from what I’ve seen. And I’ve seen both good and bad.
There was a time when she lived with my family, around my freshman year. This was after she had run away from her grandparents and gone to live with her mom three hours away. But, she got on drugs and was trying to get out of that situation. Ok. Only problem is that she used my parents hospitality and didn’t actually try to change herself. During this time she was still doing drugs and was having unprotected sex with lots of dudes because she wanted to get pregnant. She went through like 4-5 “boyfriends” within the 2 months living with us.
Eventually I guess she was tired of my parents trying to give her a normal life cause she moved back with her mom. She then started doing heroine and cocaine. Has been arrested multiple times. She then got pregnant with a dude she had only been dating a few months, though by the time the baby was born she had moved on to a different dude.
According to her sister who also lives in that town, she has repeatedly left her toddler at home alone in a room while her and her boyfriends go places. She didn’t take her kid to the doctor when he got bad diaper rash or got sick. She also got pregnant again and so now she has two kids.
I haven’t talked to her since she left and my mom has been guilting me the whole time. This girl has tried to send me pics of her babies or reach out to me, but I always block her. It’s not that I hate her or are mad, it’s just that I have no sympathy anymore and I don’t want to see someone ruin their life.
Now my mom just got a letter from her. She’s in prison for violating her parole. For drugs. But apparently she tried to kill herself and turned herself in. Maybe she is actually trying to get help and it’s a step in the right direction, but I still have no desire to speak to her. My mom says she mentions me every time they talk.
AITA for not caring?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 34,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
XuzFl1gpsjYoj6pVfqfUtJrr01VI95L8
|
ag4zph
|
{
"description": "telling a guy to go back to where he came from",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling a guy to go back to where he came from?
|
So I live in Arkansas and I work for a large retail company. I was running self checkout when a man came to one of the u-scans. He starts to ring up his groceries and than calls me over. I ask him what the issue is and he explains that he just filled out for our store loyalty card and his phone number isn't pulling up when he types it in. Now usually it takes a few days for all the information to process but he insists that the woman at guest services told him it would be done before he finishes shopping. So I call over the intercom for guest services to call my phone. The man starts to become agitated and he says "I should have known something this simple would be such a arkansasans." And I ask him where he's from and he says he's from California and "people there know there left foot from their right foot. Southerners piss on your back and tell you it's raining." So I told him to go back to California where everyone's perfect and sent him to guest services with his order. I don't think he complained about me because nobody said anything but I could tell he was agitated. Apartantly he was told to wait a few days for the information to process for his loyalty card. I'm not really sure if I took it to far. Also note that I did raise my voice a bit when I told him to go back to where he came from.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 8,
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
3LyrV4BOJE5JZD23zotB8NbpyvLMuIHV
|
am1wz5
|
{
"description": "leaving my headlights turned on when pulling into an apartment parking lot",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for leaving my headlights turned on when pulling into an apartment parking lot
|
AITA for refusing to turn off the headlights before pulling into an apartment parking lot at night?
My sister always stops to turn off her headlights before pulling into a parking spot. I think it's unnecessary. I've lived on ground floor units and headlights weren't a big deal as I had blinds.
If people didn't want headlights, they wouldn't get a ground unit, or they would hang up curtains. I maintain that it's a safety issue.
Am I the asshole for refusing to turn off the headlights? Turning down the music, I can understand, but turning off the headlights seems a bit excessive.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
kTsixeK0PduB8bXCloZvPFuhvXlM3w47
|
akp4fb
|
{
"description": "asking my wife to ask my mother in law to apologize to me",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 10
}
|
AITA for asking my wife to ask my mother in law to apologize to me
|
Am I the asshole for asking my mother in law to apologize to me for barging in our bedroom middle of the night and pushing me off to bed during our little argument with my wife?
​
Little back story: My wife got cold Thursday night and she did not go to work on Friday to relax at home. She had nail appointment on Friday at 6PM so she got up and went to nail appointment to get her nails done. Same night my friend asked me to if I would go to PA with him (we live in Long Island NY) to check out a motorcycle and help him buy/load/strap etc....Since I had no plans with wife and she is not really sick anymore for me to stay home and take care of her since she has energy to get to nails, I said ok to my friend and we left 8 AM came back 3 PM Saturday.
Meanwhile she had hair appointment for cut and color in Brooklyn NY. It takes 1 hr one way to get to Brooklyn from our house. She she drove in traffic to hair appointment in Brooklyn spent 3 hours and drove another hour and a half in traffic to come home and complain that I did not stay with her she was sick and I choose to do fun things with my friend. I said you are not sick because you did your nails and hair for hours or else you would stay home and relax.
​
Well, we argued a bit but nothing major, then we went to pick up mother in law to bring her over to our house for Saturday night to Sunday night. She comes over every weekend. We got home, dinner, tea, etc...then went to bed around 11:30PM. She was upset from our previous arguments, disagreement and wanted to talk at 1130pm and I was really tired and told her that I dont want to talk now that we can talk later. I want to sleep now. She said no she wants to talk now because I should since I went out and had fun all day that I did not get tired etc...I ignored her and asked her to turn her back to spooning so we can just go to bed. She insisted talk but I really did not have energy. She said fine turned her back, picked up her phone and started watching netflix with sound on, no ear phones and screen is bright. I asked her to turn it off or take it to leaving room or kitchen to watch it. She told me dont tell her what to do. i got upset and since she does this to me all the time I tried to grabbed her phone to put it on my side so we can fall asleep. While this was happening she started telling and started to cry.
​
Here is the story. My mother in law heard her and she barged in the bedroom without knocking on the door, turned on the light and asking what's happening. I told her there is nothing important that we are just arguing and she should not get involved and she should leave. She pushed me to bed and I remember telling my wife that if she could stop crying and talk to her mother because she is being disrespectful by barging in our bedroom getting involved with our business and pushing me. She did not say anything continued to cry and this point I got up, put on my clothes and left the house at 11:45 PM to send the rest of the night at hotel.
​
When I got back home Sunday evening mother in law was gone, she was ignoring me and not saying anything. I asked her if we can have a word. She said sure talk while she was combing, drying her hair putting up lotion on her face.
I asked her if mom to come back to this house she owes me an apology. She started laughing and long story short she thinks I should be the one who should apologize.
​
Am I the asshole for asking my mother in law to apologize to me for barging in our bedroom middle of the night and pushing me off to bed during our little argument with my wife?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
EVERYBODY
|
{
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"WRONG": 10
}
|
WRONG
|
dWv9rZ35gflGb5PXg8WODViWPkqYNJqe
|
a4r7uj
|
{
"description": "laughing about my mom's hit and run",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for laughing about my mom's hit and run?
|
My mom got into a hit and run last night. She was fine, and there was very minor damage to her car. However, she still wanted to file a claim and wanted my help looking at her dashcam footage (she’s not very good with technology).
So, we look at the footage and with the looping mechanism of the dash cam, it seemed that the crash happened in the 10-second interval between video files. Basically, the footage we needed was just missed. Wasn’t able to see the crash or the car that hit her at all.
I chuckle a little because, well, what are the odds that the exact footage we need happened to be lost in that 10-second interval? I tend to laugh in uncomfortable and unfortunate situations anyways. She goes off on me, saying that she’s really upset and I’m being insensitive. She basically tells me to get out of her office before she starts screaming at me.
I realized she was really upset about the situation, but the damage is pretty minor and she took down the license plate, make, and model of the vehicle. I was trying to comfort her explaining the facts of the situation to her, i.e. how the camera works, how unlucky the situation was, and how it wasn’t her fault…but my comments and my laughing seem to have really gotten her mad.
Am I the asshole in this situation?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
NOBODY
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
nmZX6xIaQvqJPZvUksRWGH14HwypEjM6
|
ay6tuj
|
{
"description": "leaving a love confession unanswered",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for leaving a love confession unanswered?
|
Here goes nothing.
I’m a 25f working a retail job where there’s a LOT of people employed. SO many people that I feel I’m meeting new people everyday and also forgetting someone exists for months. I’m the kind of friendly that will chat and laugh with anyone, honestly.
From stage right enters Paul. I’ve known Paul since day one at this job. But six months in, we finally get to talk more than a quick hello and goodbye. And Paul? Is a fucking nerd. Just. Like. Me.
We are VIBING. We’re cackling and hollering. We like the same fandoms, the same genres, we like the same kind of TEA. So we become buddies, right?
We go for food, chat about geek shit. We go see a geek movie. I meet his geek friends. We keyboard smash to each other, it’s great. And this is over the course of, let’s say, 3 months. I decided to get him a teeny gift cause I’d thought he’d like it. He decided to get ME a little gift cause he’d thought I’d like it.
He legit looked me in the eyes and said “you’re cool people. I like you. I wanted you to know that.” And I said, “hey man. I like you too. It’s nice to know cool people like you exist.”
Everything seemed kosher until I got an actual letter from him that said he wanted to spend his future with me.
And I’m mortified. Because, remember I said I worked in a big store where I meet new people and forget about people? It’s hard to keep track of everybody right? Which I didn’t realize might be the case.
Because, people of reddit, I am a 25f who is a LESBIAN. And I don’t know how to handle myself in the face of what may have been a long term heterosexual courting that I did not recognize because I naively thought men and women could be platonic friends???
AM I THE ASSHOLE? For not realizing what it meant? Did I lead Paul on? I haven’t even responded to their letter because I can’t handle myself? I honestly feel so embarrassed and there’s a little voice in my head that’s telling me I’m a whore and that it was my fault.
I don’t think he’s a homophobe or that I’ll be in danger if I come out to him. But I’m MORTIFIED. I’m not someone who can easily hurt someone’s feelings, but I’m clearly doing that here by ignoring it.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 12,
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}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 16,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
AW3ivGinUdAaJ0w5X6JBon9x7mVl4DB8
|
b2t1ps
|
{
"description": "telling my brother to mind his own business",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 10
}
|
AITA for telling my (29/M) brother (32/M) to mind his own business?
|
So, to preface this let me just say that me and my brother have always been very close and he's always looked out for me which I greatly appreciate, but we just had a big fight due to my girlfriend (29/F) Nicole. I was telling my brother that nicole and I recently started doing the whole open relationship thing, and I admitted to him that I wasn't okay with it at all that I actually hated it but I am just putting up with it because I love her. My brother immediately started telling me that I'm weak, have no respect for myself and that I should tell her the truth.
Now I admit I got mad, blew up and told him to mind his own fucking business. I really shouldn't have done that but I feel like he just wasn't putting himself in my shoes. I am 29 years old and this is my first ever relationship. She was my first kiss and the person I lost my virginity to. I am a very ugly guy and introverted. The truth of the matter is that if nicole left me I would be alone for a very long time once again. Having my brother put me down when I already feel inadequate made me feel like complete shit and i get even madder when i think about it and dont feel like talking to him. i would please like some opinions and advice thank you
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
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"EVERYBODY": 4,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 10
}
|
WRONG
|
zeFxfmIZRUISc8xBtkro7mk4wfku2zZG
|
b2neqi
|
{
"description": "cancelling plans with my friends on a moments notice",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for cancelling plans with my friends on a moments notice?
|
Apologies in advance for formatting I'm on mobile
This weekend one of my buddies who moved out of state came to visit, he and I had planned with the rest of our friends to go and eat lunch then play a session of DnD. (something we all enjoy) Well on Saturday I went to the restaurant a little early because we would be a large party and I just personally like to be early. Well the time we all agreed on comes and goes so I send everyone a text asking where they are, I get no response so I continue to wait eventually it's about 45 minutes after the time we all agreed on and I post to our group chat; it's been 45 minutes and I've gotten no response from anyone, I'm not running the session today. After sending this I promptly got responses saying oh we can still do DnD today and things along those lines no reasons as to why they've not showed up, I respond by saying I'm not doing it anymore maybe tomorrow. Well Sunday comes around and everyone's calling me an asshole for not wanting to run it for them. So am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 7,
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}
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
wXreJZ8ksF4ZfoGkkRG9klCD58maukHp
|
akm237
|
{
"description": "being upset my mum won't babysit if I want to do something for me and have fun",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 10
}
|
AITA for being upset my mum won’t babysit if I want to do something for me and have fun
|
I bought quite expensive tickets to a festival after my mum confirmed she would watch my son for 24 hours.
She now says she has plans to see friends and can’t do it.
I have managed to sell my ticket but I’m gutted, I haven’t danced since I got pregnant nearly four years ago & I’d already bought an outfit etc...
I’ve been through so much in the last few months and really needed this, I think she’s refusing as she doesn’t agree with me going to the festival, she also refused to have him at New Years and refused another time when I wanted to travel to some markets without having to drag a toddler along.
To be fair she has babysat a lot (fortnightly) recently (approx 4 hours each time) for me to attend counselling or see a lawyer or attend court (domestic violence stuff) but only one time I got an extra hour for me, otherwise I go straight back after my appointment.
I have nobody else to ask and never expected to be a single mum with literally no time for me. My mum points out he’s my kid so it’s not really her responsibility and says she does help out when needed - aita for being angry?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 9,
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"NOBODY": 1,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 10
}
|
RIGHT
|
PKaym9pw4vjeXgrlYG7rNp6CO0ks7YlF
|
a4hbln
|
{
"description": "calling out people's white lies",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
WIBTA for calling out people’s white lies?
|
I notice that some people often tell lies, to make themselves look superior or to absolve themselves of blame. WIBTA if I called them out on their lies?
Examples:
* My neighbour claimed that their house cost $200K more than it actually did. This information is so easy to find on the internet and we did our research when we were house hunting.
* My FIL likes to make himself and his family look superior. My siblings and I did well in high school (got high scores in the equivalent of SATs). FIL tells my parents that his children got higher scores than us. I already knew that their scores were significantly lower.
* My in-laws like to bitch about me to their extended family and I overhear some of it at family gatherings. I told my husband and they denied everything when he confronted them. A few things they blamed entirely on my mother.
The first two are harmless so I didn’t say anything, to not look petty. I don’t know why they bother because you can find out the truth with very little effort. As for the last, I think it’s important that people own up to their shitty behaviour and apologise.
When do you think lies should be called out? Do you let harmless white lies slide?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
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}
|
RIGHT
|
7F37pilk2Vwjf2fHnF1bfJESVtSor0aa
|
a19csa
|
{
"description": "wanting my gf to tell me what's up",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting my gf to tell me what's up?
|
For clarification, my gf and I are both highschool age.
For a couple weeks now, she's been a little distant, but nothing really major. Recently (about a week ago), she disclosed the existence of some "issues" to me, and she asked me to not do some things because of those issues. Things like not calling myself her daddy as a joke, or not engaging in anymore "sexting", which we used to do. While I have no problem with these things, she refuses to say what the issues actually are, only the things that I can't do because of them. They seem to be sexual in nature, but that's all I've been able to deduce from this stuff. I really want her to tell me, but she absolutely refuses, saying she made a promise to herself (didn't say what the promise was either). AITA for wanting to know what's going on?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
qwvohqkqUCekTFhEitCYKbuKaJ8xXLS6
|
awdbx8
|
{
"description": "being angry with a coworker for hooking up with someone we work with, after she broke things off with me because she doesn't want to be with coworkers",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for being angry with a coworker for hooking up with someone we work with, after she broke things off with me because she doesn’t want to be with coworkers?
|
I had a mild hook up with a girl I work with a year ago. Afterwards I suggested trying to start a relationship, but she turned it down saying the reason is she doesn’t want to be with someone she works with. Life went on, we’re pretty good friends, but I still have a slight romantic interest.
Fast forward to now, we went out for happy hour with colleagues, she was flirty with a coworker and went home with him. I’m guessing they hooked up, but I could be wrong.
AITA for being hurt and annoyed by this?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
XpCAegxf8AakJJCZ6VbAn1SnevOAx6X6
|
atssip
|
{
"description": "faking an australian Accent with my good friend for 2 years",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 16
}
|
AITA For Faking An Australian Accent With My Good Friend For 2 Years?
|
So I visited my homie that I knew forever at his college and he introduced me to his roommate. We thought it'd be funny if I pretended to be from Australia the whole weekend I was there, since I have a good accent, and we'd be hanging out with his roommate that weekend as well. Everything was good and we had a good time and my friend and I were laughing the whole time and he didnt know why. Fast forward to the next semester he transferred to my college and text me saying we should hang out. He's a super dope dude so when I went to meet him at starbucks he had like 5 other people there, and he introduced me as his australian friend, keep in mind that whole weekend we made a whole backstory for me. Well I thought it'd be SUPER awkward to tell him I was pretending in front of all his friends so I kept it going. Luckily I hadnt seen the people he was with since but fast forward 1.5 years me and the guy are still friends and hang out semi-regularly, and every time I have to make sure none of my other friends are with us so i can do the accent and i feel so bad about this whole situation that started as a joke
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 15,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 15,
"WRONG": 16
}
|
WRONG
|
hvcTwYqUnSs7cAt6qlpjEW7u9ngsMHxE
|
avuzie
|
{
"description": "assuming I'd be able to still get free art from one of my friends",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 12
}
|
AITA for assuming I'd be able to still get free art from one of my friends (Honestly I think I am the asshole)
|
So, I have this friend, let's call them D. D and I have been friends for 2 years, and that mostly is because we're into the same fandoms and stuff. Once a week, they let me request a sketch for them to draw of something or someone. All was well. Until the commissions attacked.
One day, the excitedly told me that someone had commissioned them. I was proud for them to finally move up in the world as an artist. But then D said that I'd no longer be able to request stuff... and that I'd have to pay money for them.
My entitled ass was absolutely livid over it. I felt as if because I'm their known friend, I'd at least get a "friends and family discount", let alone still doing it for me for free. But nope, now I'd have to commission them in order to get stuff drawn.
But now I need to ask... should I tell them about my feelings about it... or should I just suck it up and accept that I need to pay them now? I really need to know.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 12
}
|
WRONG
|
HyngbuNzu8rDLr6OMbMkSE2kyAHcfyse
|
9v536v
| null |
AITA? Woman said “We couldn’t do something, and I responded with “We? I can do it..” and jumped up and did it.
|
I volunteer for a community theater group. I painted a bunch of wooden boxes for the kids to sit on and use as props. We keep them in the closet. They are stacked up, and pretty heavy, but nothing I can’t handle. I painted them and loaded them into the closet.
Rehearsal starts and the boxes aren’t out. I ask the other parent if she could help me grab them. She says we should wait until we have more help. I acquiesce and sit down.
Ten minutes later the director and assistant director ask for the boxes to be brought out. She responded with “We can’t do it”
I say, “WE? I CAN get them.” And I get up to get them myself. She hops up and looks at me and says,
“What is your problem?”
I responded with, “you said ‘We’ I can get them. It isn’t a problem.”
She then says “why are you being so aggressive? What is your problem, why are you being so aggressive?”
I said, “Really it isn’t a problem I can grab the boxes” she follows me and tells me she got a pinched neck from lifting the boxes and we should wait. I start moving the boxes and she say, “see they are heavy” I reassured her that I put them there, I can take them down.
She keeps yelling. I tell her we need to step outside. That it isn’t appropriate to yell in front of the kids.
We go outside. She tells me again that I am being too aggressive and that I need apologize to her. I don’t apologize. I tell her we need to talk it out first. She then says what is your problem today? Why are you so aggressive.
I say, “you said I wasn’t string enough.” She cuts me off. She was right, she didn’t say that.
I say, “you need to calm down” we can talk about this. She again tells me I need to apologize. I said once we are calm we can talk about it.
I walk away. I return to the room another way, and see her come in *aggressively* and take her son, grab his costume and leave.
We are less than a month out from the play and she isn’t returning people’s phone calls or texts.
I told the leadership if it helps, I can back away so she feels more comfortable. I don’t want the poor boy to not participate, but I really wasn’t expecting her to leave.
Did I embarrass her by telling her we have to step outside and that this wasn’t appropriate in front of kids, or was I the Asshole for not apologizing when she was yelling at me to.
I KNOW I am the asshole for telling her to calm down, but I followed the advice and walked away.
I have worked with this group for 4 years and have never had anything like this happen before. Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
LEDyD3xbg9lJtEkSaNFFzEqXJOX4lxi4
|
aoc3g3
|
{
"description": "not taking my girlfriend's side",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not taking my girlfriend's side?
|
Ok, a bit of a backstory here. I (25M) have a female friend that I've known since highschool. In my opinion, we keep really appropriate boundaries and mainly just chitchat about music, memes, etc. I did my best to make my relationship with said female friend to my girlfriend (27F) very transparent. Showed her conversations and just tried to make her at ease about the nature of the relationship as best as possible. My female friend sometimes texted me memes at night, but it was nothing to worry about (to me). Girlfriend did not like it and said it was inappropriate, but I just didn't respond to the texts to appease her. We went home for the Christmas holiday and I took my girlfriend home to meet friends from college and hangout with my family. The last night in town, my friends and I were to all gather at house we lived at in college to grill out and just hang. My female friend and her boyfriend were invited and were the first to arrive. When we pulled up at the house my friend came over to give me a hug and said "cocojoe93! Whats up fam!". My girlfriend hops out of my truck and the first thing she says is "What did you call him?" My friend says "I called him fam...?"
The night goes on and seems to be going well as we're all interacting in what seems normal. I even pulled my girlfriend aside and asked if everything was ok, to which she responded "yes, I'm just observing". At a couple instances, I did notice whenever I tried to talk to my female friend and her boyfriend, my girlfriend would almost stop what she was doing to "join" the conversation. Things seemed ok as girlfriend said she tried to talk to my friend and be nice to her all night. However, towards the end of the night, shit got weird. I went to take a picture with my friend as I don't see her, ever. Girlfriend photobombs. I'm annoyed but it's whatever. When my friend and her boyfriend go to leave I give her a hug and shake his hand. My girlfriend does this weird thing where she tried to link arms and pick my friend up on her back. Then she grabbed her around the waist and picked her up and hugged her. My friend was not amused and immediately told her to put her down. When their Uber pulled up, my girlfriend walks up to my friend and says "I'm sorry if I offended you I was only trying to be friendly". Friend responds "that wasn't friendly, that was you being bitchy". And my girlfriend took offense to this and immediately attacked my friend. I ran in and pulled them apart while they screamed insults at each other. I was extremely pissed off and embarrassed.
Fast forward and ex-girlfriend is defending that she tried all night to be nice. She says she told my female friend where to get bath bombs (the hosts mom was passing them out), tried to make conversation, and pulled up space for my friend to sit at the crowded dinner table. I acknowledged those things she did were nice, but that she was also being passive aggressive all night. I later found out my girlfriend went up to my friend and asked her "do you watch anime?" Friend replies "No" girlfriend says "idk why people think people who watch it don't get laid. Cocojoe93 and I watch it together and he gets pussy all the time" I confronted her about this and she said "I didn't think it was weird" and claimed just to have a lack of social etiquette. Then she says I should have confronted my friend for cursing at her.
What's up Reddit? AITA? Just trying to figure things out.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 11,
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
gTFxYzF5gtK76UlGiGXv7aascCRhzh4a
|
b50dv3
|
{
"description": "regarding wedding invitations",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA regarding wedding invitations
|
Would it be rude to extend an invitation to people who I originally had to cut from the list?
I invited about 155 people to my wedding (in 50 days). A good number of people have declined.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 4,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
0CHQV0Dfh72WVfqYbeJAlH9FdBD05xH7
|
aus3mq
|
{
"description": "not gating my cat upstairs since my allergic roommate moved in",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 16
}
|
AITA for not gating my cat upstairs since my allergic roommate moved in?
|
I've rented a 5-bedroom, 2-story house with 4 roommates since July 2018. I'm the only person on the lease and have paid for the deposit ($500 of which is a non-refundable pet deposit), in full personally. My roommates venmo rent to me each month which I then send to our landlord. Since we moved in, my cat has been a roommate like any other. His food, bed, and litter are all upstairs where my bedroom is located.
Last month, my roommate's girlfriend moved in with him downstairs. She was supposed to move in in July, but personal issues delayed that move. Before moving in, she informed me that she had a cat allergy and she would like the cat kept upstairs. I agreed the cat's home would be upstairs.
Now that she's moved in, she's installed a pet gate at the top of the stairs, and has said that her allergies are too severe for the cat to be downstairs where her bedroom is located. It's worth knowing that the cat is 100% disallowed from her bedroom, but is normally allowed to be in our shared spaces.
AITA for being livid that she has dictated where my cat can go, and refusing to restrict him to upstairs? To me, this seems like major overstepping, but she says I've created a hostile environment for her since I was informed of her allergies. Reddit HALP!
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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"WRONG": 16
}
|
WRONG
|
zmg82gprQnAhhIu8dQTKJKjAtQGKsBnn
|
b6yjvd
| null |
AITA am I being petty or am I in the right?
|
So I recently got hired at a retirement home that also has an assisted living as a separate building. I am a EMT/SECURITY here. So let me list off some of the duties here. I get here and pass out "flyers." Some nights we dont have them and some we do. And they go on the retirees appt door. Just as info for certain things. Anyways that's the first thing. We have 4 different floors here it's a big building with an East, Center, and West wing. Lots of rooms. So theres two of us at night (I work grave) and we split the floors into two per person. Depending who I work with I either get the 3rd and fourth floors or I get the first and second. This particular person agrees to let me have the first and second floor. Fine. So we look into vacant apartments and make sure norhings wrong with them while nobody's living in them. Next step. Is a check on the assisted living facility next door. It's just a walk around. Then you come back and have most of the rest of your shift to yourself to do whatever until around 4 or 5 even sometimes 6am. Depends on what you're doing or if someone calls in the middle of the night and needs medical attention. Anyways. I hope I havent lost you. So after that between the hours of 4:30am and 5:30am one person is supposed to unlock the facility next door so it's open for the day crew to get in or whomever needs to get in the building because they're open at that time. So. I do the unlocks and walk around there. And when the news paper comes we make copies of the sudoku and crossword as well as an article or two for the residents so it's easy to get to. And they dont ruin the paper for someone else. Moving on I do another unlock of the buildings workout center and that's about it. So I did everything I listed except the first walk around at the next door facility. The last thing to do us uncover the pool which is a little difficult sometimes. But it's usually the person's job whoever doesnt do the unlocks for next door. But the past two times the person I've worked with has made me do it. And I'm not sure if it's because I'm new and they just wanna make me do it cause I wont say anything. Which I didnt the first time they asked cause I didnt wanna seem lazy or whatever. (Same situation btw I did everything else there is to do that day) and we are supposed to open it at 7 am. And they didnt leave the first time they asked until 7:30 which is the time I get off. Anyways today they left at 7 sharp and said that the pool was on me again. Am I in the wrong for being angry because they're being lazy? And they've been here before me? I feel like it's a little unfair to have me do everything. Like share the workload and dont be fuckin lazy? I hope I didnt confuse anyone.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
FrBpI3dACTkFNvRWHudUzga0oanVkQqt
|
awmcdf
|
{
"description": "forcing my cousin to stop vaping",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for forcing my cousin to stop vaping?
|
He lives with us after being kicked out from his house after he hurt his back in the army and had to go home. He doesn't pay rent but he has a job, and frequently works overtime, up to 9 or 10 hours. From what I have seen online he has a TAPHOO 80W, and he can not conceal it in his hands because it's about the size of a 8oz coke can. On his days off when me and my brother get home from school the house smells like berry, and he keeps the windows and doors open and turns the heat off, so he doesn't have to go outside. I know for a fact he does it in the bathroom because he takes it with him, and he probably shoots it out the vent. When my parents aren't home he just does it out the window. He has purposefully set off the smoke detector twice by vaping directly into it.
I can tell my parents do not like confronting him, like they don't tell him to put the milk back when he leaves it out, or wash your dish if it's the only thing in the sink, or help take out the trash and recycle on Tuesdays, they always ask me to tell him. He chipped my mom's treasured blender yesterday and didn't seem to think it was a big deal. He plays Clash Royale with my brother and sister (10F) and it affects my siblings because they are now less respectful and do not do chores or other tasks because it's a live game and they are constantly playing and waiting for new updates.
This morning my parents told me that I have to be the one to tell him to stop vaping. I have been suffering with severe asthma for more than half my life and my father quit smoking when I was young. We also have a ONE year old in the household. I don't know what he is thinking but he never tries to hide it, maybe he thinks that my immigrant parents are stupid and don't know what it is, and he casually makes comments saying, "haha what if your parents walked in and said 'it smells good in here?'"
**My mom said that if he wants to vape he has to go out further than where our grass ends, about 20 feet, wear a jacket, leave the jacket outside, and wash his hands when he comes in. (The problem is he literally goes out every 5-10 minutes) My dad says that if I don't say anything he will have a talk with him, and my dad has never confronted him about other issues, because I always have to do it.**
**WIBTA for forcing him to follow these rules or stop vaping?**
​
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
JxWEmK0yNUDeX9Vg9KyMjvUlEgtdT2On
|
ax9qj7
|
{
"description": "expecting my old friend to hang out with me",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for expecting my old friend to hang out with me?
|
Hey guys, I made an alt to ask this question because said friends know about my real account.
I've been friends with this guy for about 2 years. We are best friends and very very close. I ended up leaving the college we met at to study at home and I live about 7 hours away depending on the drive. I announced this weekend that I'd be coming up to visit, and he has known about this for about a week, and he said he wouldn't be able to hang out with me when I visited thanks to a movie night he's running using his computer. It was a very small group of people but he said I could come along but I really wished he had at least considered recheduling it because I wanted to see him. He invited me to the movie but I wouldn't have been able to talk to him anyways because of the movie. I know he probably wouldn't go as out of his way to see me but it still frustrates me sometimes. I don't know what to do, I've been delaying my responses to him but want to know if my anger is justified (I'm already home again)
Thanks :)
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
qbEjQP7a1HsoXdCCBWUZ2QWN0Z3elSpO
|
a3ndg4
|
{
"description": "not wanting to buy my GF an IPhone higher than the IPhone 6 for Christmas",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not wanting to buy my GF an IPhone higher than the IPhone 6 for Christmas?
|
I feel like an absolute retard because this is the lamest post I've ever made in my life, but my girlfriend has been hinting to me that she wants a new phone for her very first Christmas (her Iphone 5 is 6 years old and fucked).
Just to preface, she's by no means gold digger, we always pay for one and other when we go out for a meal or buy something. We are both stingy people, and she has made me more conscious of my spending.
Anyway, I'm happy to buy her a new phone, but she's been hinting at one of the newer model IPhones (IPhone 8, XR, w/e) which I think is a waste of money since, from my research, they aren't that different in specifications from the IPhone 6, which is far cheaper in comparison. I don't like the idea of disappointing her on Christmas but I'm not spending 800 - 1k AUD on some overvalued phone, so I implicitly said to her that the IPhone 6 is better bang for buck and than any higher model and she argued against me, saying that it was only 1 model after her phone, blah blah.
Honestly the technical details of the argument are irrelevant, I just want to know how I should handle this behaviour. Am I being a stingy asshole? Am I an asshole for not wanting to buy a product I don't believe is worth it for HER? I was considering working part time for like 10 shifts just to pay for the phone XD but am I just spoiling her? Honestly if she said "Oh a 6 would be fucken sweeeeet" I would have done that for her but now she has pissed me off.
Help me assholes
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
NZA1DOEGw7jprfpaeTwnVTscXkayc887
|
aldc6k
|
{
"description": "not getting my wife's approval over a social media post",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AiTA for not getting my wife's approval over a social media post?
|
So some context I am a dentist and I'm trying to me more active on social media and so I once a week ask a question. This week was "Why shouldn't we kiss new born babies on the lips?"
Side note wife is 8 month pregnant and doesn't realise how hormonal she is
Reason is lower immunity and spread of viruses etc...
Issue is my wife in a similar field to me thinks the question is controversial and why I didn't get her approval.
Wife: you could have asked it differently like why don't we share spoons
Me: but what's the issue?
Wife: people may take it differently you should have asked for my approval
Me: haha why. You were asleep so didn't want to bother you. My mother is also a qualified doctor and her thought was it's an interesting question to ask because it's what we both see family doing
Wife: find don't ask me to support you or do anything for you. Don't ask for my opinion
Me. You do realise how silly this is? Anyways I know how ztressed you are now so will let you rest.
Wife: you never change
Me: At the end of the day I know you are really stressed with the pregnancy and are worried about the health issue and maybe that's why you are angry at me for a veeeeery small issue that really isn't an issue but I don't need to seek anyone's approval before I move forward. I am capable of handling things and if it's good great and if someone doesn't like it or has an issue that's fine. They can take it up with me. At the end of the day you can't please everyone and my goal isn't to get everyone's approval in what I do or make everyone like me or follow me or whatever. I'm trying everyday to be better than the day before and I appreciate all the support and pushing you do for me. But it's just an Instagram post.
Wife:Great. I was stupid to support u and make u do mpaeds and ffd. And keepin strong just so u dont get more stressed. You make me realise how stupid I was to support you
Seriously am I missing something???
She is seriously stressing me out over this pregnancy and it's not our first child either. I don't want to go home anymore afterwork
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
5C8hzoCosuYh6TZe06nHLg848PSyfK80
|
arguc4
|
{
"description": "emailing my teacher about her actions",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I emailed my teacher about her actions
|
This week in school we got to chose classes for junior year. I signed up for a few AP classes because I am already in accel classes and these would be the next step in the line of the curriculum. I also ended up not signing up for drama 3, and instead, chose to have a free period to study because of my AP classes. So come this last Friday, our application slips are due for our classes, and I turned mine into my counselor. Not even a few hours later I get an email from my drama teacher, let's call her H, saying that she wanted to "talk with me" in class.
I go to drama class and halfway through the class, once we've split up into our groups to do our scenes, H comes over to me and my partner, let's call her A.
H: "so did you yell at him yet"
A: she didn't quite understand "uhhh, no"
H: "he's not signing up for drama next year"
A: "why aren't you signing up"
Me: (I'm quite awkward and shy so I suck at conversing) "I don't know, I just have too many classes and don't have the time"
H: "you need to sign up for drama 3, you are taking to many AP courses and are gonna be overworked. You don't want to be studying all the time, do you?"
Ill give H credit here, she is right, I probably will be stressed, but I can deal with it, and I get it.
H: "A, you are going to make him write an email to his counselor and he is going to drop a course for drama. You don't need to take computer science, its a useless class and are going to be overworked."
At this point I'm angry, but, I don't say anything. She walks off and me and A talk about whether or not I should drop physics. She tells me how it's hard, and that's understandable, but the math class I'm taking works hand in hand with the physics one, so if I drop it and take it senior year, I may not be too well off. Additionally, I wouldn't have a science course credit which is needed to graduate.
Class comes to a close, and I never got around to writing that email.
I find it so annoying how H just comes all up in my business and bosses me around, and barely lets me defend myself. Also, I find it super creepy how she was able to see my class list, I don't know how that works. I'm going to email my counselor, without context n the situation, and ask how a teacher may find my class list.
Also, I probably should note, I didn't audition for the musical, for reasons unrelated, and she also emailed me a similar "lets talk in class thing." Not only this, but some other kids in my class didn't sign up as well for drama, and they got the same email. I find it super creepy, rude, and intrusive.
So WIBTA if I sent an email to her saying how I felt? I don't want to fuck myself over with my counselor wither, so what should I say? AITA for not signing up for the class?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
0CNROjVgLU6dxURhr43HKsgn1mMmJLV9
|
ay5dwi
|
{
"description": "not watching my friend's YouTube videos",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not watching my friend's YouTube videos?
|
So recently my friend has been really wanting me to watch his videos but I don't want to because everything he uploads either isn't interesting to me or I've already seen the game he's playing.
I asked him what he's doing today and he said "Watching my videos with (other friend) because you know.... He actually watches them." And it made me feel like he was being an asshole in my opinion but I don't really know for sure. What do you guys think?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
OTYLHnSj5XcboDLtGBc8sa8s05xIG23M
|
aeayce
|
{
"description": "blowing off my girlfriend and her parents for lunch",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for blowing off my girlfriend and her parents for lunch?
|
My girlfriend has a tendency to take her emotions out on me when she has stressors outside of our relationship. It’s something that has bothered me for a long time, and we’ve had many discussions and a few fights about it. Recently she’s been extremely stressed again about returning back to school, and today is the day she leaves as she is heading back early.
All week she’s been fighting with me, over everything and anything. Today especially, she has been constantly speaking to me in an Insulting manner. I had plans with her and her parents to go get lunch before they drop her off at school. Right before i went to leave she called me twice and sent me 18 texts to make sure i wasn’t going to be late, implying that I am not able to be on time without her reminders, something she states often. I had enough of it, and told her i refused to go until she started to control her emotions better. We go to the same school, so I will see her Sunday when I head back. I love this girl, and outside of this issue we have an incredible relationship, but i felt i needed to put my foot down after going through this so many times. So AITA for blowing her off?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
LoetqwvDzamRKgPzxsnzlSgEL9yzFPaG
|
auhg65
|
{
"description": "not letting it go",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not letting it go?
|
After years of dealing with depression and self-hatred, which I still have issues with, I've come to a point in my life where I find making friends to be difficult and therefore, pointless.
I do have a few friends, and one of them is where this question stems from.
Now, hes friends with this girl that I...Utterly hate. I've explained to him why I don't like her and why I don't want to talk about her, but by no means am I not telling my friend that he can't be friends with her just because I don't like her. All I ask is that he doesn't bring her up. Seems fair, right?
Well apparently he thinks otherwise. While its perfectly fine for him to get pissy with me for bringing up people he dislikes (which I respect and don't do), he thinks I'm being ridiculous because "it happened in the past."
Yeah, it happened in the past, but what she did caused me to lose all my friends and caused me to hate myself. Because of her, my life just got worse. (But I do realize that its not that great now because of my own choices, I'm not here to debate that.)
Because I know people are going to ask what happened:
When I was younger I was part of a group of friends that I finally thought I was getting along with. I was a troubled kid who switched schools a lot due to moving around and was raised by a single mom after she divorced my cheating "dad". I had a hard time trusting people and making friends.
She was part of that group, but she was always mad when she wasn't the center of attention. To her, that meant I had to go.
She spent weeks acting like she was scared of me, convincing our "friends" that I was threatening her life, while also spreading rumors about how I was supposedly sleeping with guys I didn't even know. (I'm asexual, I've never had an interest in sex, but the rumors still bothered me.)
They believed her over me, not a single one of them stood up for me or took my side. So I lost my friends, I blamed myself for it, and I spent most of high school in the library and just being alone.
Now I'm 25. And this guy thinks I should forgive her for what she did and act like it never happened?
Am I the asshole for thinking hes an asshole and refusing to pretend I'll get along with her just because hes friends with her?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
kmP7ASxZ4HSD75tGcr0UWANrsbhViQ8U
|
ajw83c
|
{
"description": "not caring about family heirlooms",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not caring about family heirlooms?
|
I'm not very sentimental at all. The other day my mother called wanting to give me some quilts that her grandmother made, I told her that I don't want them, and she got really upset. I don't think it's a big deal, they mean nothing to me, I would end up just giving them away.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
pdBMQisiOK0jIsONJoQnZCBNBgj0InJx
|
auycy4
|
{
"description": "deleting my Younger Sister's YouTube Account after years of annoyance",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA For Deleting my Younger Sister's YouTube Account after years of Annoyance?
|
So some background: My relationship with my younger Sister is thin, she is so fucking annoying and petty, she harasses me (You're Fat, You're an Idiot etc). This had happen for Quite some time. She even told my Father (Divorced) that I Hit her, which is fucking wrong, who does that but, Also Blames things my Older Brother does on me.
So Straight to the Point, On this Particular day my Brother and Sister had ganged up on me, My Brother accusing of shit and lying, My sister backing up his 'totally true' Bs. Since Im a mental mess I cried. So I went upstairs to text my mother about it, said she would take away his VR set (obvious bullshit, last time she did that my Brother strangled her). Because of that I Decided to Delete my Sister and Brother's YouTube Accounts, since I registered them for them Under My Email. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 8,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 8
}
|
WRONG
|
pamgOsdcBvYaNt1RoWui6pX9hE8mxocE
|
b2cl1k
|
{
"description": "calling a nine-year old a brat",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for calling a nine-year old a brat
|
Hi guys, first time post on here.
Stepdad: Chris
Step-granddaughter: Therese
Younger Brother: Seth
This just happened today. I am a 18-year old college student and I am at my house for Spring Break and I was told by Chris that I'd have to do the dishes because I didn't cook as Seth did. I was fine with this fact as that was to be expected, however I raised the question of why doesn't Therese (Chris's nine-year-old granddaughter) have to help, and she replies in a snarky tone "Well, Chris told you to" and after a but of back and forth, I said "Why do you have to be such a brat about everything". Chris then said that he will not tolerate name-calling in this house.
Just some background info, Therese doesn't have the best home life, she doesn't have a dad right now.
I had also been dealing with her all afternoon, as she caused us a lot of exasperation in earlier events.
In addition, after being told to rinse her plate, she just puts it on the sink for me to deal with.
I am having a lot of inner-conflict about this and appreciate any comments this community brings me.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 8
}
|
WRONG
|
ZGlUL9Yq1CF4bSjzTtEnungpG5HmdDBp
|
axh6kr
|
{
"description": "getting mad at my sister over a paper",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA For getting mad at my sister over a paper?
|
14M (about to be 15)
To get it i will tell you something about my school
On my school if you don’t do a homework you get an extra opportunity to do it (note that the homework would have a value less than 60) if you don’t do it either you get on detention until you do it correctly, this all happens on weekends
The teacher cancelled one of my homework it was fine, i got a paper which tells me that i need to do it ( on paper says which homework i needed to do)i left it on the desktop that i always work (it’s family’s desktop but i use it more) on a specific place. Then when i finally got time to do the homework by sister decided to move it to other place. I always get mad at my sister (22yo) for moving my stuff then end up losing it or even bothered to help me.
(As usual) i say her questions like “hey have you seen this paper?” “No” she says and asked again if she could help me, she replied with the same answer ; i got mad and make a deal about it (not that much but i still made it) , i wouldn’t make this much deal if my parents didn’t punish/make a deal about getting detention
Ending up telling my mother which turning to being calm with it (since it wasn’t my
Fault?) and could do the homework saving me from detention (this was after the deal i made , i was able to do it because a guy send it to a group chat)but i felt bad for being mad at my sister for that and making a deal about it.
Detention: since i live on Mexico i explain what my school detention is. Normally school is about 7:00am to 2:30 pm but with detention you left until 4:00 pm and what do you do?
You make a long paper work which exhaust your hand
Tl;dr= made a deal to my sister for a school paper which needed for a homework otherwise i would get detention
Sorry about my bad grammar or exclamations my english is not my native language so if anything wrong tell me so i can fix it
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
xVT9B6cWT7YRBHWwSyFlAxqTJpUU07iS
|
b9lfmu
|
{
"description": "not storing our dog's toothbrush with ours",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not storing our dog’s toothbrush with ours?
|
After a visit to the vet my wife was instructed to brush our dog’s teeth to prevent plaque buildup. This seemed a little extreme to me, but I wasn’t going to interfere.
That evening I went to go brush my teeth only to find a third toothbrush in our holder... our dogs! This was too much for me. Dog’s have different bacteria in their mouths and I fear it is a small health risk along with being strange. Our toothbrush holder doesn’t prevent bristles from intermingling. I told my wife that it wasn’t a ‘family’ toothbrush holder and moved the brush to our dog’s supply bin.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
C5I6wjZnX1KPOBaSBHU5S5TbiJZlffqW
|
aonl0g
|
{
"description": "telling someone I cut myself again",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for telling someone I cut myself again?
|
AITA for telling someone I cut myself again? Me and a friend got into an argument, as a joke, about whether or not i am a terrible person. As i said, this was a joke. She asked me why I thought that I was a terrible person, and so I said that I cut myself again. (Self harm does not make you a terrible person. This was a joke). I kept this going for a while before I eventually said that it was a joke and that I did not start again. I thought that she wouldn't really care much because usually she doesn't care much about stuff like that if it was a joke. I was very wrong. She said she started crying and she didn't think it was funny. I feel like most people will say it is my fault, and I see why as it is a very sensitive subject, but I want more opinions.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
WRONG
|
GvNQ6SWbH2vRPExcdqunUEC0fX4Jpw3q
|
aiwert
|
{
"description": "feeding my (ex-boyfriend) carrot",
"pronormative_score": 362,
"contranormative_score": 111
}
|
AITA for feeding my (ex-boyfriend) carrot
|
We have broken up now. But my ex boyfriend(22) was the pickiest eater. And I mean absolutely refused to eat certain foods.
For example , he loves pesto, but he does not know what it’s made out of, because it’s green and he won’t like it after he knows what it’s made out of (basil).
He has no allergies and he is diabetic, so I would encourage him to eat healthier or atleast some vegetables. I have been at family dinners with his family and his mother would serve these amazing stuffed bell peppers . And he would only scoop the rice and eat that alone.
He doesn’t mind eating junk food all day, chicken nuggets, burgers ect.
So one night at my house , I had made lasagne (with small carrot pieces in it) and I served mine with some steamed vegetables including steamed carrots and served his as just lasagna.
Mid dinner I feel like he is eyeing my plate so I ask “would you like to try some of my carrots” to which he replied “nah I don’t like carrots” 🤢
I had told him there is carrot in the lasagna. He pushes away the plate and says he’s finished eating (but at this point he had already had 2 servings of it, working on his 3rd)
He later told me he felt violated that I fed him carrot without his knowledge and was quite upset about it.
I had just been trying so hard to deal with his pickiness, as always having to cater our dinners to his liking and everyone is entitled to have likes and dislikes but I felt it was all in his head and quite irrational.
TL:DR
ex boyfriend only likes food if he doesn’t know what it’s made of. Ate food found out what it was made of, felt I violated his trust
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 81,
"OTHER": 351,
"EVERYBODY": 30,
"NOBODY": 11,
"INFO": 4
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 362,
"WRONG": 111
}
|
RIGHT
|
29u26RR8gFaMSCGpQQhivqTEDU5JHla8
|
ar92tp
|
{
"description": "getting fed up with my wife's insecurities",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for getting fed up with my wife's insecurities?
|
So my wife and I are both gym nuts, we also live 650 miles away currently (she's in school I'm in the military) so working out and fitness is a huge connection for us.
Anyway I have experianced much better gains than her because I'm a dude, have become educated with my workouts, and have a strict meal plan. She hates listening to my advice when I try and recommend changes to her meal plan "mine is just as good as yours and doesnt take as long to prep"
Once or twice a week she will have a cheat meal or day and I know what's coming next. The day after she is moody the entire day talking about how fat she is and hates her body. When I try to comfort her by telling her the time spent enjoying you life is why we workout so hard and how beautiful she is she just gets frustrated with me and starts copping an attitude and I'm starting to get fed up with it.
Quick disclaimer my wife looks like a damn fitness model.
Tl:dr or whatever it is.
My wife doesnt listen to my fitness or nutrition advice but bitches at me when she cheats her diet.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
HqljeozFDCLynRPuADN7EGp2LDG8sSsn
|
awvxkc
|
{
"description": "suggesting my wife we put off big plans( having a baby and buying a home ) till we are financially stable",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for suggesting my wife we put off big plans( having a baby and buying a home ) till we are financially stable
|
Me (32m) and wife (31m) got married about 8 months back. We have good enough savings if compared to our country's standards. Past two months my wife has been pestering me to buy a house and have a baby. I wasn't okay with both but thought let me at least look at some homes to get an idea.
As I started looking at apartments to buy I started to get depressed. The price is 4 times what I'll earn with my current salary. Prices of homes are just exorbitant and the loan rates are very high. I'll end up paying 30% just as principal. I suggested that we don't buy a home and live rented and plan for our kid in a few months.
She got upset with me and just walked to our room and went to sleep. She didn't open up and tell me how she feels and when I asked her she said there's nothing to speak.
I don't like taking loans because I was bought up with a thinking that giving loans and taking loans is bad plus I've been fired from my last two jobs and am now in a stable position. The thought of being tied up to a bank for the next 10 years scares the hell out of me. It's because of this I am wary of not wanting to take a loan to buy a house. But my wife says something like I have to push myself and keep on getting better. I get that argument but for me 10years loan repayment is scary.
TLDR: Wife wants to buy a house and I'm scared to be stuck in repaying loans for 10 years.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 7,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 15,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
KOnIEDQzFQwiMfC1TWRJyI2oNf52wHeX
|
b17xhj
|
{
"description": "hooking up with a woman who had a bf",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 11
}
|
AITA for hooking up with a woman who had a bf?
|
Before the obvious answer, this has been a big debate among my friends since it happened. This happened over 10 years ago while I was in college. At a party a woman and I were talking and this is where detail is very important before passing judgment. SHE was flirting with me after about an hour of just talking. And by flirting I mean she was touching my arm and shoulder and in close proximity than normal, especially if someone is taken.
It wasnt until I had asked if she wanted to head back to my place that she told me she had a bf. Now more detail again, when she told me it wasnt a quick and assertive "sorry I'm I'm a relationship" response. The best way I can put it is "well I am in a relationship" and had a pause after well. Now, after I said ok and just kept talking to her, she still kept staying close and playfully touching my arm.
Now, in my book I've always said if a woman hits on you first then it's fair game. So after 4 beers and me being a horny college kid, I ask again if she wants to go back to my place. She still hesitates and responds that shes in a relationship so I up the ante. I tell her that we can go back to my place and hangout and then that will give her an idea if she truly sees a future with her bf. She agrees and after maybe 10 minutes at my place her top is off.
So, I know it seems like I'm the asshole but honestly, AITA given the details on the events leading up to it?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 8,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 11
}
|
WRONG
|
UqsD06UDrFTO4PzJxzs98EMPuzrOFvwo
|
b6drho
|
{
"description": "being upset about my boyfriend spending money on toys when he's thousands of dollars in debt",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being upset about my boyfriend spending money on toys when he's thousands of dollars in debt?
|
I'm sorry this is long. I'm on mobile and it doesn't tell me how many characters I've used.>!!<
He has over $15,000 in credit card debt. I moved in with him so I could help pay bills and he'd have some extra money to help pay off his debt. I gave up a nice, affordable duplex that accepts pets, which is very hard to find in our area. I also gave up a 7 minute commute to work and 10 minute commute to my 24hr gym and grocery store. I feel this is significant because I work nights and keep my night hours on my days off so these 24hr amenities were very convenient for me. I now have a 30 minute drive to work, live in a completely different town, different county, where everything is closed by 9pm. Without telling me, he'd been setting aside money, instead of applying it to his debt, and used that money to buy a new gun. After purchasing all the accessories he'd spent over $1600. He already has five other guns that he rarely, occasionally uses for hunting or just target practice. I feel I've sacrificed a lot so that he can work on his debt. I pay for half the bills and most of the groceries to try to help him. I understand it's his money and I can't tell him what to do with it. But... Am I the asshole for thinking this is a purchase that could've waited till he actually has disposable income?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 16,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 16,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
IDjLQvnzP2VqH6QSMTH36wsvFJemLCUG
|
b1z3x2
|
{
"description": "trying to play with my Legos with the lights on",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For trying to play with my Legos with the lights on?
|
My sister is constantly harassing me, my little sister. She might be watching videos on the Computer with the lights off, I come in, not knowing she is in there, and turn the lights on to play with my LEGOs. She then gets super pissed and accuses me of trying to kick her out. I tell her that I just wanted to play with my LEGOs, but she “calls me on my bs” and storms out of the room. Am I the A-hole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
tu6hndMO1CdtFqjTQssVKotcMwJUVpHN
|
b7s2a4
| null |
AITA: Don't care if my kid gets into a less-desirable dorm for freshman year at college
|
17 yo son is awaiting the acceptance letter from his preferred university, but the letter has not yet arrived. The first day of dorm registration starts day after tomorrow. He expresses anxiety that because the university acceptance letter has not been delivered, he cannot be one of the first registrants for preferred university housing, which is first-come, first-served. I (apparently) Am The Asshole because I told him I (retired US Army with three combat tours), spent a year living in a tent in the desert, and don't know why he's complaining. Wife is convinced I am the asshole.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 12,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 2
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 13
}
|
WRONG
|
VOkB4YYhSM1kTigQjifDdxB0RSkT7yoh
|
asjxj4
|
{
"description": "telling my friend that her boyfriend is using polyamory as an excuse to talk to more than one girl",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for telling my friend that her boyfriend is using polyamory as an excuse to talk to more than one girl?
|
Okay so my friend (17F) has been talking to this guy (idk how old, around the same age). They’ve been subtly flirting as friends for about two months now. Recently it’s escalated and became obvious that they’ve liked each other for a while. They’ve been flirting more and it’s on a sexual side now.
One thing he said was “so you can be my sub and I can be your dom, that makes you mine”. He said this at like the beginning of them starting to flirt more sexually, so it was still new for them. She said “okay but if I’m yours does that mean I’m only yours? because if it does than that has to mean you’re only mine” Basically implying that they’d be exclusive or she doesn’t want a relationship with him, sexual or not.
Then, he said “that’s where it gets tricky”. So of course she was upset thinking he didn’t even want a relationship. The next day he explains that he has more subs and she wouldn’t be the only one.. he said some manipulative stuff making her believe she would still be the most special one. I don’t doubt he said that to all of the other girls.
Fast for award to today, he tells her this:
“Well I'm polyamorous idk if that makes any difference to you but I feel like why cant I make more than one person happy or satisfied and i just simply feel like I would want to do that with you because it would make me even happier. And because of that the absolutely worst thing and what I definitely dont want is to hurt you so this is why communication with me is super important Idk how I would be able to explain that more but I'm not saying I feel like something is missing from my other sub it's just that I want to have you as a sub that's happy with the way things are. Idkkkk how I could exaplain it in a way that makes sense and its driving me nuts”
To me, it looks really manipulative and like he’s guilty tripping her into being okay with it. I brought that up and she said she doesn’t know what she wants. I told her how it sounds like he’s trying to justify having more than one girl at once. Especially since he doesn’t REALLY expect them to be all together at once, he really just wants to be able to talk to all of them at the same time and the girls don’t have contact with each other. He says he wants 3-4 girls.
The reason I’m questioning my friend is because a few days earlier she told me she really liked him and might want a relationship with him, and how she doesn’t want him to be talking to other girls.
But now it seems like he’s been slowly incorporating this idea into their conversations and making her think this is what she wants.
My friend and I have been best friends since 2012. She’s been completely honest with me about this situation with him and even she is getting a feeling that it’s sketchy. But, she’s been getting defensive because she’s liked him for a while and doesn’t want to accept that he’s doing this.
So AITA for trying to make her see that he’s bullshitting her? AITA for assuming he’s not being honest?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
QWOTfcElLZTguS34b9rawGI1ZfkCaNZe
|
b0lf9k
|
{
"description": "journaling about the unlikely continuation of my relationship and how I felt about another girl",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for journaling about the unlikely continuation of my relationship and how I felt about another girl?
|
So this happened about a year ago, but I'm still not sure who is in the wrong.
For reference, I had been with my then girlfriend for around 6 months at this point.
I am a big proponent of self-reflection and I journal quite a lot. I write down whatever I am feeling at that moment, and therefore consider my journal and its contents to be very private. I find that it helps me make big decisions or simply clarify my feelings about certain situations. My girlfriend was well aware of how private I consider this journal to be.
Anyways, I was telling my then girlfriend about how helpful I find journaling to be, and in the process I showed her what kind I had and therefore which drawer I kept it in.
At this point in time, we were approaching the last term of our senior year in college, and my thoughts about our long term plans were well written about. I wrote about how I wasn't confident that we would remain together due to the fact that we had already committed to living in other cities, but that my decision had not been made. I also wrote about a long time crush that I had recently seen. I never cheated, and never had the intention of cheating, but I wrote that I wondered what it would be like to date this girl. It was going through my head in that very moment, which is why I wrote it down. Not because I had the intention of following through with it.
The next morning I went to class while I let her sleep in for the rest of the morning in my bedroom. She confronted me later in the day admitting that she read my journal, and knew how I felt about continuing our relationship and about the "other girl that I loved". She broke up with me for it later that day.
In no way do I consider those to be my final decisions, just how I felt at the time of writing. She never asked me face to face about the continuation of our relationship. To me, it seems like she read my journal to find something she wouldn't like, and that anything she read shouldn't be considered, as those were my thoughts at the time but not my final decision.
To this day, I still don't know if I'm in the wrong for writing all that, or if she's in the wrong for reading it in the first place.
So Reddit, AITA?
tl,dr - my girlfriend read my private journal and broke up with me for what I wrote about the future of our relationship.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
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